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hairringtonsteve · 4 years

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and they were roommates.

[steve harrington x reader]

summary: The shit hit the fan, and you need to find a place to stay. Steve Harrington, being the knight in shining armor that he is, offers to let you crash at his place during the quarantine. Clearly, feelings ensue.

word count: 3,704

a/n: Hey guys. I’m back. The world is a little bit scarier than it was before, but we’re here and we’re getting through it. I need to emphasize that while this fic is lighthearted, it’s not me making fun of the situation. This last week has been excruciatingly stressful for me as well as the rest of us, and honestly, I just need some fluff. So here’s to you and Steve being stuck in an apartment together. Informational links will be located in the first reblog.

**********

“Do we stockpile toilet paper?”

You snorted in response, assuming that he was kidding. Instead of bothering to look at him, you kept your eyes on the Netflix menu, scrolling through the list of horror movies as you tried to ignore the anxiety building in your gut.

If someone had told you at the beginning of the year that you would end up being stuck living in Steve Harrington’s apartment for who knows how long because of a global pandemic, you would have laughed.

But who could have guessed that it would happen? Who could have guessed that your college would shut down and shift everything online, that you wouldn’t be able to fly back home because flights were too expensive? Who could have guessed that Steve Harrington would somehow have perfect timing and walk by just as you burst into tears over flight costs?

“No really, do we stockpile toilet paper?”

You ignored him and kept scrolling.

Really, though, his timing had been perfect. You’d been searching Google for the last twenty minutes, trying to find a flight back home when the cheapest flight out was still over two thousand dollars. Sitting on the steps of your college building – the one that had become like a second home to you since the dorms were awful – you’d shoved your head into your hands and cried.

“Hey, Y/N, you okay?” Steve had asked. You didn’t bother to look up at him, instead opting to take in deep, calming breaths. “You good?” He sat down beside you, not bothering to keep his distance.

The news had been telling everyone to practice social distancing, but it was hard when you were suddenly hit with the reality that you probably wouldn’t see most of these people again. Everyone had thought that you wouldn’t start the I’m graduating college goodbyes until May.

“Oh, you know,” you began as you lifted your head up but didn’t look at him. Your voice was watery as you spoke. “Global pandemic and all that. I’m fine.” Steve leaned over your shoulder to get a glance at your phone.

“Fuck, that’s rough. You trying to get home?”

You’d gotten the email the night before. Sitting in the common area of your building despite the fact that your classes had ended hours ago, the group from your department had all sat at the various tables in shocked silence. Students out of the dorms within ten days unless there were extenuating circumstances. They hadn’t defined what those circumstances would have to consist of, but you knew deep down that you wouldn’t qualify.

“Yeah, I uh… My mom can’t afford it and neither can I.” A new wave of tears started to sting at your eyes. A few made their way down your cheeks. “I’ve got ten days, though. I can figure it out.”

Steve sighed. You finally looked over to him. The tears made him a little blurry.

“My roommate is flying out tonight,” he said. He looked forward before looking back to you. “I’m sure he’d be cool with you crashing in his room until shit gets sorted out.”

You stared at him. Your throat got thicker. You had to bite the inside of your cheek to hold back the sob that wanted to burst through at the offer. Instead of saying anything, you gave him a short nod.

Within an hour the two of you were packing up your dorm room, throwing everything into whatever luggage you had. You hauled the luggage and everything else that couldn’t fit down the four flights of stairs and tossed it into his car. His two-bedroom apartment was a fifteen-minute drive away. There had been a quick goodbye to his roommate – who didn’t know what was going on until you had gotten there – and that was that.

“Toilet paper, Y/N. Do we need it?” A hint of annoyance was coloring his words and you finally shifted around on the couch, twisting your neck far enough so you could see him. He was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, already holding two packs of toilet paper, eight rolls in each.

“Dude, seriously?”

“What? What if we use it all up?”

“Then we go to the store and get more.”

“What if they put us under martial law and we’re not allowed to go anywhere?”

“Then we’ll figure that out. But we have enough for now. We’re not hoarding toilet paper like the rest of the assholes out there.” He tilted his head back and groaned. “Steve, c’mon. It’s fine. It’ll—” You were interrupted by your phone beeping, alerting you to a text. You ignored it. It was probably your mom, checking in. Again. “Steve, it’ll be okay. We’ll have enough toilet paper. We just need to go get food and beer, and we’ll go from there.”

Steve stared at you. “But what if one of us gets diahre—”

“Okay, that’s it. Get your shoes on. We’re heading to the store, dumbass.”

Steve grinned. “Wow, dumbass? It’s like we’re back in biochem.”

You snorted and got up from your spot on the couch, heading to where you’d taken off your sneakers near the door. You’d placed them next to his. It hit you, that your sneakers and his sneakers would be right there for the foreseeable future because of… everything that was going on. You swallowed, the anxiety that had been settled in your gut for over a week now threatening to rise to your throat. But you sucked in a deep breath, willing yourself to keep calm.

Things were fine. It would be okay.

Steve came up beside you and reached down to shove his shoes on. When he righted himself, he bumped his shoulder against yours and grinned.

“Think the beer will be gone?”

*****

The grocery store looked like it was ransacked. The toilet paper and baby wipes were off the shelves. People had grocery carts piled high with nonperishables and whatever else they could get their hands on.

You and Steve locked eyes without a word. His fingers thrummed against the railing of the last grocery cart that had been available while he raised a brow at you. You nodded and the two of you headed straight for the alcohol.

It took twice as long as usual to walk the length of the store to get to the far corner where they held the beer and liquor. Not surprisingly, the area was filled with mostly college-age looking people trying to get their hands on whatever would get them adequately fucked up for the next few weeks.

Steve cleared his throat and nodded towards the beer, the one that everyone had been studiously avoiding. “Should we get some?” He waggled his eyebrows.

You rolled your eyes. “No, that stuff tastes like piss.” He laughed and pushed the cart forward, stopping to get a case of Angry Orchard. “You like that stuff?”

“No, but it’s your favorite, right?”

You nodded as you tried to remember when he would have been able to figure that out. The first time that you’d met was last fall, when you had the same biochemistry lab together. “Yeah?”

“I thought so. I remember you mentioning something about it the night all of us went out after our final in December.”

That had been over three months ago. But everyone in the lab had gone out for drinks to celebrate making it through finals week. At the time, you’d exchanged a handful of words at most. Hell, you hadn’t even mentioned that it was your favorite directly to him. Something shifted in your chest.

Weird.

After that, things grew quieter between the two of you as you made your way systematically through the store. With the alcohol, you got some staples, some favorites, making sure to take into consideration the fact that there would probably be a few nights where the two of you would drink enough to kill a horse. After that, you started to make your way through the food aisles, getting whatever was left over. While most of it was taken, you got the important stuff: bread, vegetables, fruit, meat, peanut butter. Things were scarce, but you got through it.

And the whole time, your stomach was sinking further and further down.

Things weren’t supposed to go this way. All you could think about was the day prior as your professors had said their goodbyes to the students, everyone trying to keep a brave face. Rationally, you knew that things would eventually be fine. But it was hard to keep that in mind when it felt like the beginning of an apocalypse movie.

“—You good to go?”

“Huh?” You looked over to Steve, blinking. At some point, the two of you had made it to the front of the store.

He smiled, soft and understanding. “I asked if you were good to go. We should probably get in line. They’re just getting longer.”

“Oh, right. Yeah.” It took a few minutes to try to find the shortest line (if you could call any of them short. You glanced towards the front of the line, watching as the over-worked cashiers struggled to keep everyone happy. Looking back to Steve, you leaned against the grocery cart. “Have I thanked you yet for letting me crash at your place?”

“Only about ten times, but I haven’t figured out that you’re appreciative yet, so you could go for eleven.” You laughed and rolled your eyes as the line moved forward about an inch.

“Seriously, Steve. Thank you. You didn’t have to offer.”

Steve shrugged. “I kind of did. I can’t live alone.”

You scoffed. “You think we can live together and not want to murder each other?”

Steve shrugged once more. “As long as you let me win at Mario Party, we’ll be fine.”

The anxiety in your chest eased up a little. Maybe staying with Steve wouldn’t be too bad.

*****

As it turned out, being around Steve Harrington constantly was a lot to handle. He was adamant that the two of you worked together daily on your coursework. He’d said that it was to make it just like being on campus as much as possible, but the two of you knew that it was really just an excuse to bicker over homework and steal each other’s pens.

It was weird, knowing these little intimate details about him that you only find out when you live with someone. He sang while he did the dishes. He never made his bed and left video game cases strewn throughout the living room. He had a habit of falling asleep on the couch in the most uncomfortable positions. He preferred tea to coffee, sweet to savory, and had a weird lack of movie knowledge. He also played a lot of Fortnite with a bunch of kids from his hometown.

When you asked him about it, he’d just shrugged and said: “I’m a really great babysitter, what can I say?”

To which you’d heard, muffled through his headset, a boy’s voice shriek, “Bullshit Steve!”

The biggest problem, though, was that he was starting to get to you.

Objectively, you’d understood that he was conventionally attractive. A guy with hair that nice couldn’t be wholly unattractive.

It was just that it didn’t really hit you until two days into quarantine. You wandered around out of your room, too occupied with replying to a text to keep yourself from running into a shirtless Steve, complete with a towel wrapped around his waist and water dripping from his hair.

His hands wrapped themselves around your arms as he pushed you back a little, making sure that both you remained upright. The two of you locked eyes. You were close enough that you could see the little flecks of gold in them.

Oh.

Your stomach flipped and suddenly you were acutely aware of him. Your eyes started to slide from his face – taking in his nose, his jawline, his mouth – to his chest when he let out a choked sort of noise.

“Please don’t look down,” he said, his voice higher than you’d ever heard it before. You looked back up at him, scrunching up your brow. “The towel fell and I… Naked.”

There were maybe three seconds of silence before you burst out laughing. You took a step back, clapping a hand over your eyes as you struggled to breathe.

There you were, in the middle of quarantine during a global pandemic, and Steve Harrington was naked and dripping wet in front of you.

“Just shut it, okay?”

You tried to stifle the laughter, but it just turned into muffled giggles. “You good to go there, Harrington?” You could hear a bunch of shuffling along with some muttered swearing before eventually, he gave the okay for you to look. Your hand dropped from your face and the laughter died out as you got a good look at his chest.

It took him clearing his throat for you to meet his eyes once more. He was looking at you with an intense look on his face. His tongue darted across his lips as he took a step towards you. Your heart thudded in your chest and just as he took another step forward and then —

A knock at the door.

The two of you jerked back. You almost knocked your head into a shelf while Steve said that he’d get the door. You watched as he stepped forward, raising an eyebrow in silence as he turned back to you, a sheepish look on his face.

“Did you just now realize that you’re…” You trailed off as you waved your hand up and down to motion towards the towel. He nodded, his cheeks growing red. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll get it.”

He’d scurried down the hall to change while you opened the door to one of Steve’s neighbors clad in a mask, asking if you guys had any extra toilet paper.

You got the elderly man two rolls and waited for Steve to come back out of his bedroom.

He didn’t come out for the rest of the night.

That was twelve days ago and since then, the two of you had been avoiding each other like… well... the plague.

Instead, Steve would walk into the kitchen, only to see you and abruptly turn around to walk out. You would head into the living room to watch Netflix and immediately try to leave when he was playing the PlayStation. When the two of you did talk, it was weird. Stunted.

“What do you want for dinner?”

“Whatever you want.”

A beat of silence.

“Cool.”

On and on it went, both of you hole-ing up in your respective rooms while trying to avoid the other. You even took turns doing the grocery shopping.

The worst part about it, though, was how aware you were of him. When you walked by him in the hallway, your senses honed in on the way your arms brushed. When he was leaning against the counter and shoving his fingers through his hair, your gaze would somehow magnetically drawn towards looking at him regardless of what was on the TV.

You had to shove your face into a pillow every time you heard the shower turn on.

It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t fair. Crushes – and that’s what this was, a full-blown crush – were awful to begin with. They were inconvenient and distracting in the best of times. But this? This was downright torture. Utter and complete torture. You felt like you were going to snap at any moment, ready to combust at a second’s notice.

And then you got the alert on your phone. You were sat on the counter, a spoonful of peanut butter shoved halfway in your mouth. Your thumb flicked the notification bar down as you read the headline. It wasn’t anything different, just an update on the virus spread and the estimated time that it would take for things to calm down.

But that meant that you would be there longer. That meant that you would be in that apartment longer, having to go through silence and awkwardness and who knows what else for an “indeterminate amount of time.” Something inside you snapped. You hopped down from the counter, chucked the spoon of peanut butter into the sink, and hurried down the hall towards his bedroom.

After around five hurried knocks, the door swung open. He had a panicked look in his eyes as he stared down at you. “What? What’s going on? Did something happen?” He was frantic as he stared down at you.

“What?”

“You knocked like someone important just died, and I missed it. What’s going on?”

“I — I just wanted to talk?”

Steve blinked at you. “We’re… There’s a global disaster going on and you choose to knock like that so we can talk?”

“Steve, I knocked on your door. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“There’s knocking on a door, and then there’s whatever the hell you did.” He stepped outside of his room, causing you to step back as well to give him some space. “So this —” He knocked against his door three times, slow and not too hard. “-- Is how normal people knock. And this —” There he knocked hard and fast against the wood, exaggerating how hard you’d knocked. “Is how you knocked. Now clearly, there is a difference and you almost gave me a heart attack.”

“You’re dramatic.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “So what’s up?” He crossed his arms and quirked a brow.

You heaved in a breath and started rambling.

“I — Look, I get it if things were weird because I practically saw you naked but we’re in the middle of a fucking pandemic and I’m stuck in your apartment for who knows how long and I can’t keep avoiding you like this. It’s weird, Steve.”

He just stared at you and didn’t say a word. So you kept rambling.

“I get it that you’re really stressed out and I am too, but Steve, this is just making things worse? And like, honestly it’s not that big of a deal. You were shirtless. It was fine. More than fine, actually. Like, it’s cool. It’s —”

“More than fine?”

You stared at him. “What?”

“You just said that me being shirtless was not only fine but more than fine.”

You could feel your cheeks begin to warm. “I don’t — I —”

Steve took a step forward. “Is me being shirtless more than fine with you?”

You gaped at him, frozen.

“Do you like me being shirtless?” There was a smirk on his face now, as though your silence was enough of an answer.

“Steve, I —” He took another step forward, right in your space. He leaned down a little. Your heart was pounding in your chest.

“You like me shirtless.” He wasn’t asking anymore. Your rational brain wasn’t working. You opened your mouth to reply something, anything, and what came out was:

“We’re supposed to self-distance.”

Steve froze, eyes wide, and took a step back. “Did I — Did I misread? I thought—”

You tried to shake your head, hoping that he’d notice, but he was too caught up in the panic of thinking that he’d misread everything and crossed a boundary. So you did the next best thing.

(Really, the thing that you should have done a week ago.)

You reached out, fingers grasping at his shirt and tugged him towards you. You rolled up onto the tips of your toes and pressed your lips against his. He froze, his words falling silent. Your heart was pounding so hard that you feared it would come out of your chest. Slowly, his hands fell to your waist as his lips began to move. He pulled you closer to him, all thoughts of social distancing falling away as you kissed.

Eventually, he pulled away, just enough to rest his forehead against yours. “We’re supposed to self-distance?” He asked, a slow grin spreading across his features. You rolled your eyes and tried to pull back, but he gripped your waist a little tighter, keeping you there.

“I panicked, okay? You just — I just didn’t expect it to go that way.” He didn’t respond verbally, instead just raising his brow. “It’s been weird not talking to you and being here. And I didn’t mean to say that about you being shirtless, it just kind of slipped out.”

“Why are you acting like that wasn’t okay? Y/N, you know I’ve liked you since the first day of biochem.”

You blinked.

“Seriously, you had to have known. I was hung up on you.”

You blinked again.

“Y/N, I laughed at all of your terrible jokes in lab. I… offered to let you stay in my apartment during the quarantine.” While he’d started off laughing, by the second sentence, he was speaking slow and soft, enunciating every word. You opened your mouth to reply when he continued. “I let you win at Mario Party, come on. You’re terrible at that.”

Whatever thoughts of acknowledging his feelings flew out of your head at that. “Excuse you, I am great at Mario Party. I kicked your ass at that the first two days that we were here.”

He rolled his eyes. “I purposefully lost to make you feel better.” Your expression softened at his words. He pulled away just a little — his hands still on your waist — to stare up at the ceiling. “You were stressed about your mom constantly texting and I know that it’s hard for you to not be with your family. So I just wanted to make it easier on you.” He looked back down at you.

Warmth bloomed in your chest.

You smiled up at him as you searched for the right thing to say in response. But it was hard. There weren’t words to convey just how thankful you were for that. You leaned up to press your lips against his once more. After a moment, you pulled back just enough to look at him and grinned.

“So, you want to go play some Mario Party?”

#stranger things x reader #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington/reader #steve harrington #stranger things

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Tom and Jerry 2021 Review: It’s Almost Adequate!

Hello you happy people, and welcome to a surprise review! While this was on my schedule, I moved it out to make room for my new Patreon Sponsored review. Yes at the 5 dollar tier you too can get a review a month.. but enough shilling. Point is I had some thoughts on the film, and felt I could squeeze a review of it into the schedule since my review for yesterday, the 90′s Tom and Jerry movie, got canceled as I both had to finish up my tex avery birthday review and hadn’t noticed it wasn’t on HBO Max like I thought. I could’ve sworn it was once but not anymore. Gee it’s almost like they removed their overtly awful Tom and Jerry movie from the service so people woudln’t be reminded of it when they watched the mediocre new one. Or it was never on there because HBO wants to bury that mistake in a hole. You make the call.

Point is I had some room in my schedule, so if I can’t cover the 1990 movie this weekend, though I FULLY intend to still do that at some point as it still fascinates me, might as well cover the one everyone’s actually watching. So join me under the cut with spoilers to go into why this film is .. ehhhh. under the cut

Tom and Jerry follows, as you’d expect, our working boys up to their ass in shit, what is this buisness. In this case Tom literally rides in on a rail with his keyboard wanting to be a big musician one day, while Jerry is shopping around for a home but can’t find any in his bracket. The two end up fighting, as you’d expect, when Tom performs as a blind cat in a park, a great gag, and Jerry first steals his customers by dancing to his music, but then when Tom tries to stop him, not only exposes his scam, but gets Tom’s beloved Keyboard broken.

In the process of Tom trying to get Jerry back for runing his day, Tom ruins the day of Kayla, a cynical young lady played by Chole Grace Moretz who like Robin in the last theatrical film, is a blonde girl who takes up way more screen time than our heroes for some reason. Tom accidently destroys the clothes she was sent to deliver, and she gets fired from her Task Rabbit esque job... despite the fact that TaskRabbit is app based, entirely built around how you do jobs for hire as needed, and that at most she’d get a bad review and that the app dosen’t actually hire people. I know this both because i’ve seen the apps and parodies of it show up on tv shows I watch, most recently Close Enough, and because I took the 2 minutes it took to google it , read some of the Wikipedia article and do the bare minimum that me, a paid only by commissions and patreons reviewer, did to prove a point, and that the writers of this film, who likely got paid at least 10000 for a rewrite, and more for whoever wrote the treatment, which is about 30,000 at lowest as told to me by this article on what screenwriters get paid I looked up solely to prove a point. So they got paid tens of thousands of dollars, probably more than standard... to not spend 5 minutes looking up what task rabbit is, becuase they wanted to give her a “hip” job instead of just having her work for a dry cleaner. Then again they got thousands upon thousands to half ass it and i’m getting paid nothing to go on a rant about how they half assed it, so maybe i’m the dumbass, I dunno, but at least I take pride in my work. And i’ve had trouble spellchecking at times so take that as you will.

But so far the film is not bad: the slapstick is blended really well, the action is pitch perfect and our heroes are given good motivations: Kayla’s to find a job, Tom to play piano professionally and Jerry to find a proper home. You ready for some letdown?!

All three of our heroes converge at the Royal Gate Hotel, a prestigious hotel that’s been host to popes, dignitaries and Drake. Jerry sneaks inside, and soon finds himself at home and making himself home, Tom TRIES to and ends up getting on the wrong side of Butch, the black cat from the shorts played in this film by reggaton performer Nicky Jam. Why they choose him over a comedian or anyone who could actually act, especially since Butch dosen’t have a musical number or anything, is a riddle for the ages. My best guest, as it always is, is that Tim Story owes him a Wookie-Style life debt. Not only that but even more bafflingly Butch’s gang, who to the films credit like him are all his gang of cats from the classic shorts, are played by Kevin Hart’s Improve Troop, The Plastic Cup Boyz. I got a preview for what passing a kidney stone’s going to feel like just typing that name. I thought I had no explanation for this, not even a wookie life debt can explain how Kevin Hart’s posse, because he has one for some reason but at least unlike Adam Sandler he’s helping his smaller named friends get big instead of just promoting guys who really shouldn’t have a career or dragging poor guys like Shaq or Terry Crews into your bullcrap because they like you., can explain how this happened. But I forgot I looked up Tim Story’s filmography when I first found out he was director here, more on him later, and found out he directed both Ride Along films, both think like a man films, and one of Kevin Hart’s specials, so the two presumably are friends or at least have a solid working relationship, and given how successful the first Ride Along was for both men, I doubt Tim would turn down a favor from him and vice versa.

And while I find the Plastic Cup Boyz inclusion in this film bizzare and wish it was fellow comedy troupe and starkid adjacent wonderkinds the Tin Can Bros so I could get Joey Richter voicing an animated cat, they at least try their best, their just not given much to do and I don’t get casting them in these side rolls or not giving the butch role to one of them as Nicky Jam just sucks in the role. And I get Butch isn’t the most solid or complex character, but it still isn’t THAT hard, with the 80 drumloads of great comedians out there, to find SOMEONE better, and it’s weird Kevin Hart himself isn’t in the roll. If it wasn’t a wookie life debt i’m betting Hart was going to play Butch, had to back out due to scheduling conflicts or whatever, and Tim found the first guy he could who’d take almost nothing instead of an actual actor.

Kayla meanwhile somehow takes herself from sympathetic to wholly unlikeable in the span of the scene by maniuplating and terrifying a poor woman into not taking the job, outright STEALING HER RESUME, meaning if she screwed up this might go on the poor woman’s record, and lying her way into the job. And if the woman had been you know a classist dick or something, i’d understand but this is a perfectly nice lady who worked really hard, and who looses out on a job because some little bitch talked her out of it and then stole her identity. This one act really just makes me not care: It’s one thing to do what you gotta to get a job, I myself have never lied on an application but I get new york’s insanely expensive. Even if she presumibly lives in a hole that’s cramped, has roaches or rats, who given this unvierse probably have tiny tv’s that are still way too loud and binge watch way too much Jersey Shore at 2 in the morning, and is probably haunted, probably by Droopy wearing a bedsheet going boo but still, and yes he’s also alive here but he has identical cousins. Not the point. Point is even if she has sympathetic motives.. what she did is not okay and when she get flashes of guilt throughtout hte film it’s never long enough to feel like it’s not her simply feeling bad she didn’t get this herself and not that she STOLE IT FROM ANOTHER PERSON. Again if she’d FAKED her resume, this would’ve been fine, simply set up some websites, and it would’ve worked so why they went with this elaborate setup that takes her into outright crimes is beyond me.

Point is she gets hired by the manager/owner, Mr. Dubrois, played by Rob Delany, but since his name isn’t used enough i’m just going to call him Mustache Manager. Her direct superior whose against her being hired is Terrance, the Gate’s Event Manager played by a way too good for this film Micheal Pena, who sadly is given nothing to work with. Terrance.. is supposed to be the bad guy because he distrusts kayla. And while one of those reasons is stupid, she makes a joke about the goldfish being an aquatics manger and he takes it dead seriously, he’s rightfully supscious she’s not who she says she is, since one of the places on her resume is a place he knows people from. The only way the film manages to make him the bad guy is he is COMICALLY out of touch: he dosen’t get sarcasm, as seen before, dosen’t want people posting jerry to “snapgram or instaface”, and seems to have trouble relating to his guests. What makes this not work is that he’s manger at a ludicrously expensive hotel. As such a good chunk of his events would be for Celebrties, since New York’s a big hub for them, having tons living there and visiting for films, apperances on late night talk shows, SNL and what have you and being a prime spot for events and it’s clear part of his job is talking to the guests as the two the film focuses on, more on that in a minute, know him and have met him before. He also mentions Drake having stayed there... he would NOT have kept this job.

You’d need to do through research on these kinds of celebrates and social media is the easiest way to do that, to get what they like, what they don’t, what they don’t want to talk about, what scandals or gos might be going on to keep paparazzi out. I don’t even know how this business works nor did I google it.. and I didn’t to prove a point.. that even with no real idea how this works.. I still get what you’d probably need to know to make events for rich famous people. I’m not convinced Terrance knows how an internet works. And given writer Kevin Costello wrote the well received and weird film I still want to see Brigbsby Bear, I get the sense a lot of this nonsense was added in rewrites demanded by executives and credit him more for what works in the film. More on that in a moment.

Kayla is hired on because the Royal Gate has it’s biggest event ever, the wedding of Ben, played by Colin Jost, and Preeta, played by Pallavi Sharda. Why is it big? What do they do exactly? Are they trust fund babies? Did Ben invent an app? Did Preeta cure global warming? Did they both help defeat Galactus DEVOURER OF WORLDS?!... I dont’ know. If the film told me at all why their big names, even if it’s just because their famous for being famous which would be fine, why this is bigger than a fucking pope visiting, I missed it and I actually went back to their first scene and the scene where Mustache Manager brings up the wedding in the first place to Kayla, and found nothing. We just know their rich, their getting married, Ben doesn’t listen to Preeta and is insufferable, and that they own two classic Tom and Jerry characters: Ben owns spike whose played by Bobby Canavale who isn’t bad but dosen’t try to sound like spike at all and that annoys me given unlike Tom and Jerry, the former of whom’s signature noises from the cartoon were used archivally and otherwise dosen’t talk and only sings on occasion or does that wonderfully weird “don’t you belivie it” thing., has a distinct voice they could’ve got someone to imitate. The other is Preeya’s cat toodles, that white cat Tom is always trying to bang, who got a neat less anthro redesign.

Toots, Toodles whatever you call her the redesign works, making her more of a cat, and only speaking in meows for some reason, and combinging the two female cats tom’s liked, but while still being just funny animal enough that him wanting some pussy, so to speak, isn’t too creepy.

And this is where the film undergoes a bit of a shift. While the 20 or so minutes are rightfully focused on our boys with a bit of focus on Kayla, from here on out she’s our defacto lead. Given the last film did the same damn thing of making Tom and Jerry not the main leads in their own movie, you can see the problem. I will say to the film’s credit it is still LEAGUES better in a lot of other ways than the 90′s film in that the plot is actually centered around them: Jerry, when stealing some cheese, and runs afoul of the tempermental Chef Jackie played by Kim Jeong. Though i’m 100% not convinced Ben Chang didn’t just lie on his resume at some place and has now somehow become a michline star canditate. He finds Jerry, and Kayla volunteers to catch him to help her own career and validly points out her doing this discreetly with only the staff knowing about the mouse will keep it from becoming a social media nightmare.

The 90′s film could work without them, replacing them with any animal sidekick for Robin, since nit’s so far removed from Tom and Jerry their really an afterthought. Here the film DOES feel like a tom and jerry plot at it’s core, Jerry’s somewhere he shoudln’t be, Tom wants to chase him either due to personal greivance or his job depending on it, in this case both. The small side cast are all involved, and given decent if thin justifications for being there: Butch is an ally cat and Spike and Tootles are the pets of the happy couple.

And honestly the slapstick portions, the portions that are tom and jerry focused or use the humans well, are BRILLIANT. No really, it’s good stuff once in a while using a bit from the classics but mostly coming up with new gags and the animation is gorgeous. I won’t lie and say it’s always perfect, sometimes the models are a bit off and look unfinished and that’s not forgivable when you delay your film two months, and thus have extra time to work on that. But that’s a few shots here and there versus the majority of hte film where the various animals all blend perfectly. Unlike most Live Action adaptations of an old cartoon, this one actually seemed to have good reason, as they’ve taken the basic roger rabbit tech of decades ago and expanded on it well. Just like that classic you often wonder how the hell they pulled this off, and outside of one egregrous sequence where tom sets up an elaborate trap we spend far too much time on, when they do use CG for any props, you can’t tell. This is best highlighted by what I consdier to be the film’s best sequence and what brings Tom into the plot proper after lurking on the fringes for a good 15 minutes: Tom, miserable in the rain, finds jerry living it up in an empty room, and after some fun shenanigans trying to get in, finally succeds leading to a good 2-3 minute sequence of the two chasing after each other in the room. There are no actors, no one else and the room is empty, but perfectly gimmicked to time with thier movments. Wether they used cg and I couldn’t tell or just simply timed things great, it’s utterly fantastic and shows why this film is live action: while i’td be fine animated they cleary ahd the tech and ideas to do it live and thus did it this way. Naturally Kayla meets Tom again, and after finding out the room was trashed by both him and Jerry gets Mustache Manager to hire him.

But this is the problem: While there are great set pieces like this, or a REALLY damn impressive one later where Terrance gets dragged into a ball of violence while walking Spike for Ben and we see INSIDE IT, with Terrance not moving as fast but that being okay. And I love the movie’s commitment that ALL animals are animated. So it has it’s charms and gets a LOT right.

It’s clear to me from this strong core that the script was messed with, either by director Tim Story or the execs. Some misguided and stupid bits I get even if it was a bad idea: Tom does do the piano at one point, after he thinks he’s gotten rid of Jerry thanks to again an unwieldy overly long bit of CGI that’s a down spot on the usually good just tom and jerry stuff. And he STARTS singing a 40′s jazz song, and I thought “Okay they really got this and are doing something like is you is or is you ain’t my baby this will be fun”. Then T-Pain started using autotune, because of course, and Tom’s shoulder devil started scratching next to him...

By the way Tom’s Shoulder Devil and Angel are played very well by Lil Rel Howrey , aka Rod from Get Out. So good on you man, one bit of non miscasting. There’s one or two cringe inducing moment of trying to be hip here or there though for a film like this it isn’t nearly as bad as you’d expect. Still bad but i’ve seen so much worse at this point i’m not going to bother getting mad or upset over it. I’m used to this kind of thing from kids movies.

But while the film dosen’t really lack Tom and Jerry, it sidelines them way too often> There’s just too many scenes just about Kayla, whose not only not a great character despite Chole trying her absolute hardest god bless her. Her hitting it off with the bartender, her arguing with Terrance whose even more insufferable and her bonding with Preeta and Ben being annoying, we’ll get to him.. WE’LL GET TO HIM. But they aren’t funny or interesting, there’s nothing THERE to really get me interested, nothing new or fresh that we haven’t seen done better before. There’s just nothing, it feels like large parts of blank space. And to illustrate this my Niece, who I watched the film with and really loves Tom and Jerry after I showed it to her... played with other stuff during most of those scenes. And she’s young, her attention span is not great.. but noticably during the actual scenes of slapstick she was glued to the tv, just like she was when I showed her the classic shorts. It’s not just old farts like me who remember tom and jerry from their youth.. it’s the kids your TRYING to appeal to that don’t want this. If you can’t get kids, who in general and speaking from my own personal experience will watch just about anything, to pay attention YOU. HAVE. FAILED.

Okay took a second to compose myself, let’s move on to the rest of the movie. So after T-Pain stabbed music in the throat, we get to the worst section of the film as Kayla brokers peace between the two to get Preeta’s ring back after the three end up in the aformnetioned violence ball with Terrance, who she ducks his claims that she didn’t catch the mouse.. which she did not but for once she’s sympathetic as Terrance is much more likeable either, though gaslighting him and getting him put on leave is a bit extreme. Bafflingly, Kayla gets his job as event cordinator for now, and thus has to broker peace between the two warring factions.. and does so in the strangest way possible: by booking a day for them in new york to hang out and be BUDDIES!. This isn’t bad as the last film as it dosen’t last, but it is just.. surreal seeing the two having a hanging out montage around new york. Like the film just took a really weird turn with this, the montage itself isn’t weird, it’s standard shenanigans minus the fighting but still good stuff. Unlike the 90′s movie instead of singing about being palls or helping a small child, they just get into cartoony shenanigans together. More proof the film could’ve been so much better just with them.

Speaking of proof the film would’ve been better without them , Ben fucks around with a drone for the wedding, after Preeta confided in Kayla the wedding’s getting to be a bit much. So let’s talk about Ben shall we? While Preeta is just nice, friendly and down to earth, Ben... is a dumbass, a jackass and just an ass. His whole schtick is that he keeps escalting the wedding despite her wishing he’d stop, and i’ts just.. not funny. A guy ignoring his partner’s wishes, constnatly doing big gestures in large part to try and win over her dad who RIGHTFULLY hates, and in general just sucks. I do not blame this on Colin Jost: He’s perfectly charming on SNL, and Weekend Update is usually damn fun under him and Micheal Che. But like with Pena and Mortez, he’s given NOTHING to work with, and furthe rmore can’t improvise.. aka the skill most SNL cast and almnus walk away with. So it’s no suprise he instead comes off like an anoying plank of wood you want to see fall down a manhole and never return so Preeta can marry someone else. I dunno the Doorman’s a pretty cool guy, and if he’s taken or something there’s always Droopy. Droopy’s the smoothest motherfucker and we all know. And if HE’S taken there’s mustache man. The point is we have a Dating Game’s worth of elligble bachelors and the film tries to sell a plank of wood who clearly wants to bang Preeta’s dad more than he wants a genuine equal relationship with Preeta.

So that dosen’t help the final act.. which is started with something REALLY weird to round off tom and jerry’s day as Tom catches a ball, interupts a play and get.s. thrown in the pound for it?

I don’t know how tha’ts a crime, I don’t get it either, point is the animal control guy is a creep who shows them off as they pass some angry dogs.. and..

MY BOY. There was an earlier joke with him taking the place of The Joker, and I thought that was it sadly but nope there he is! While, given they don’t really have much to do with each other, it is a tad weird he’s been grafted onto the tom and jerry legacy.. I really don’t care because it means Droopy gets to show up every so often in other stuff like this.. And hopefully the spinoff series coming in the summer. I”ve talked before about how much I love this dog so having him show up here was a HUGE delight and easily the higlihgt of the film and the gag is perfect. WHy is he in prison? I don’t know. But given who we’re dealing with I also assume he just disappeared later and showed up at the Wolf’s place again to get the evidence to clear his name and to help a young brodway hopeful played by Peyton R LIst get to her audition in time. And yes I just imagined another live action film with a classic character.. but admit it you’d rather be watching that one. They also run into butch who tries to force him to eat Jerry or they’ll kill him.

Terence saw the arrest on the tv though, so he bails the two out, pits them against each other, and sets them loose at the wedding. This goes how you’d expect. the two cause chaos and thanks to Weekend UpDumbass there’s pecocks, tigers and elephants, and Jerry naturally spooks the elephants, Spike, who has it in for tom as usual, goes after tom the tiger goes after him and the wedding is destroyed. Preeta breaks up with Ben and leaves, and Kayla is fired.

Less good is that Tom gets thrown out because Terrance backed out on his deal because he’s a fucking asshole. So while Kayla gripes to her sorta loveintrest bartender man, and wishes she could fix things, T and J show up, both realizing it’s their fault and both with a plan to fix things leading to our climax. Kayla goes back to the hotel, and while Terrance tries to boject she rightfully blackmails him. Sadly neither get their commupance and while Mustache Manager puts two and two together, he’s all for ending this PR Nightmare and helping with Kayla’s plan to get ben to stage a wedding in central park that Preeta actually wants while our two actual heroes go to stop her and do some light kidnapping of toodles to get Preeta to stop.

So it ends how you’d expect: Preeta makes a huge mistake, seriously Droopy go to their honemoon I guarantee Ben will wonder off into the ocean because he thought it looked sick bro, Kayla gets her job back and in a move that makes her almost tolerable hires the woman she stole from who Terrance clearly wants to bang, and Tom actually catches Toot’s eye, but then Jerry mucks it up because cockblocking tom has been his job since the 40′s, they fight, Kayla tells them to cut it out, they put an the end thing over it. Roll credits.

As you could tell I had issues with this film and had more the more I thought about it. So it’s not very good.. but I still recommend watching it if you have Max right now. Yes really. While the human parts are pretty awful as you could tell, you can have some fun mocking them, and it’s worth suffering through them for the bits with our boys, as those bits are geneuinely energetic, fun and what you came for. If you like tom and Jerry, you probably won’t like this movie.. but you’ll enjoy those bits. Hopefully if there’s a sequel, and this film was a suprise hit so their probably will be, they’ll learn their lesson from this one and focus less on the humans and more on the hyjinks but overall this is just a medicore waste of some really great technology and slapstick. This is just one huge ball of dispaointment instead of cartoon violence and i’m sorry it ended this way. If you liked this review, you can follow me on my patreon at patreon.com/popculturebuffet. Even 1 dollar a month helps and my next stretch goal nets a Darkwing Duck episode a month, so if that excites you, please sign up. And if you can’t afford to that’s fine and feel free to stick around anyway. Times are hard and I get that. And I will see you at the next rainbow.

#tom and jerry #tom and jerry 2021 #tom and jerry movie #tom and jerry the movie #tom cat #jerry mouse #droopy #toodles #spike #micheal pena #chloe grace moretz #kim jeong #colin jost #hbo max #mgm #warner brothers

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quakerjoe · 4 years

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You do realize that one of two people will be the President of the United States on January 20, 2021–yes? Either the incumbent or the Democratic nominee will hold the office, and that’s a legacy as old as Jefferson and Hamilton. If you can not stop trashing both aspirants to the office may I suggest that you pursue the acquisition of a passport as well as some means of leaving the country? Your laments are so doleful as to finally become comedy.

You know what’s really funny? Everything about YOU. I’ll tell you why, since you bothered to ask. I at least owe you that much since you didn’t ask anon.

I get this sort of banter every now and again so I thought I’d display it and answer the question at hand.

First off, this “#Murica, love it or leave it!” horseshit has two facets to it in response.

ONE: “Go fuck yourself. If you’re so willing to lie down and take it in the ass for one of the parties constantly screwing you, you’re pretty useless. Why don’t YOU leave since you’ve clearly given up the fight? “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness” comes at a price, sometimes a high one, and you have to FIGHT for it. If you’re willing to just bend over and take an elbow deep fist in your ass from the Democrats so it can jerk off the GOP while its dick is constantly forced down your throat, then perhaps YOU are the one who needs to pack up and fuck off to Saudi Arabia or North Korea. Maybe Russia or China are more your speed.

TWO: Are YOU going to pay my way if I decide to give up on America and abandon my home and the nation that I love? I may not love your precious politicians, but I’m still proud to be an American. I served, am a vet, but THIS is not the nation I signed up to defend. This era of US history is the Big Sellout, and you, dumbass, are a part of that.

You people had chances and opportunities to make this a better place than when you found it, but over the five decades I’ve been alive all I’ve seen is people fighting to get in line to buy the government snake oil like it’s a Cabbage Patch Kid or the new iPhone. It’s pathetic how much the US lacks vision or has any real pride or dignity worth talking about. We’re not #1 at fuck-all anything worth bragging about unless it’s how bad the education system has gotten or that we’re the TOP nation in the world for incarcerated citizens per capita and it’s mostly geared towards men who happen to have a dark complexion.

The rich and powerful exist here because WE ALLOW it. People like you, you defunct Fox “News” fan, are either a cheering fan for the status quo of yesteryear with Biden who wants to turn back the calendar to a time that BROUGHT US TRUMP in the first place OR you’re a trump fan who has NO IDEA… well, no ideas or thoughts about anything. Trump’s shown us who we really as a nation apparently- deluded, self-centered, selfish assholes, and the WORLD can see it. Not all of us, granted, but as a generalization, we truly suck. Such a waste of enormous potential, especially given all the resources we’ve had over the years.

As a result, we’re being overwhelmed by a virus that’s killing us by the thousands and perhaps millions some day. But, since we no longer believe in or do science anymore, nothing much is coming to save us. If/When the time comes that its run its course and should we find a vaccine, there are still anti-vaxxers who’d rather die than take a cure. Then there are the religious zealots who think Jesus will protect them. You know; the ones who are dropping like flies these days? Those assholes; the hypocrites who think they’re part of ‘the faithful’ who, if you believe in that sort of thing, do Satan’s bidding more than Jesus’.

If you’re not boiling mad at the GOP for literally doing everything they can to go out of their way to keep the US a hateful, racist, peddler of death nation bent on keeping its citizens poor and undereducated, you’re not a part of the solution. If your fucked-up solution is to have those not happy with the butt-hurt they peddle move to another country, it shows you’ve got no pride or respect for your country or yourself. You’re weak, ignorant, selfish and stupid all rolled into a big burrito of go fuck yourself.

If you’re not making a fist so tight that your nails are digging into your palms when you hear that the Democrats are literally forcing us to choose one racist sexual predator that can’t hold a thought or form sentences as the “champion” to replace the incumbent one, you’re DEFINITELY not a part of the solution. Also, you’re an idiot, an asshole, and totally a Biden Bro.

What will it take for YOU to open your window and shout out “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!” eh? You people rolling over for Biden are pathetic weaklings who sold out women and #MeToo and sold your souls to #MeTooExceptBiden, allowing the bar to be set to the same, low, cesspool standard that the GOP glorifies in. You sold out party, country, woman, minorities, and everything that was once even remotely good about the party that allegedly represented the working class so that the party leaders can keep their cash flow from Big Pharma, the Insurance lobby, Big Oil and the Military Industrial Complex. You’ve turned the Democratic party into yesterdays feckless, weak and worthless GOP while the current GOP drags the country even FURTHER to the fucking right. You’re aiding and abetting the foulest elements of the nation’s existence.

Your attitude has cost us our place on the world stage and most of our allies while we crawl under the covers with bedfellows we once considered enemies because they treat their people like shit. Now WE are one of those shithole countries you people used to rant about… AND YOU’RE PROUD OF IT and unwilling to stand up and fix it. Instead, you prefer those who are willing to do your job FOR you to just move elsewhere. Loser. Listen, if you’re too much of a wuss to stand up to the establishment that’s using your tax dollars to bail out the rich while pissing table scraps down upon you, that’s on you. You’re too stupid to know better. I get it. But until YOU get off YOUR ASS and hold your government accountable, you’ve got no room to criticize those who ARE doing it.

We’re in the middle of a pandemic and the ONE GUY who has been fighting for his decades-long career for UNIVERSAL health care was someone YOU opted out. American apparently hasn’t suffered enough to grow a pair of whatever motivates it to stand up to the wealth inequality. The US idolizes the rich and instead of fighting for a chance to live at least a DECENT life without having to worry about going tits-up and pear-shape because of hospital bills or job losses, they’d rather just piss away their fortunes and futures so that people with more money than they can spend in a lifetime of ten could possibly spend, all while THEY pay little to ZERO taxes, leaving YOU stuck with the bill. That’s on YOU if you’re willing to bend over and just take it in the ass and take it dry; no kiss, no lube, not so much as a feel-around. That’s YOU.

You, sir, are the problem. Clearly, with people like you, the US is simply BEGGING for 4 more years of trumplefuckery. Perhaps you even deserve it. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but who am I? I’m just one of the few willing to call anyone out on their bullshit, from the GOP overall to Pelosi’s feckless approach, to Schumer’s “kid who gets beaten on the schoolyard daily” approach to trying to appear useful. I’ll shit on Liz Warren for not backing a Progressive approach and getting behind Sanders EARLY; screwing her friend and ally AGAIN like in 2016. I’ll call out all the other “candidates” who say one thing while their track records show that they’re pretty full of shit. I’ll DEMAND that we have a party that’s transparent and willing to fight to drag us BACK to the Left instead of the “oh, let’s settle for plutocracy and oligarchy because it’s better than fascism” route. Fuck that, fuck them, and of course fuck you too. Thought I forgot about you? Oh, this is all about you, you spineless goon.

So let me know if you and your ilk are willing to throw your precious few dollars into a GO FUND ME to finance my move to another country. This includes my family, all our belongings, and of course a home once we get there. Naturally, you’ll be finding us ALL gainful employment there and the costs for the passports, visas, and whatnot and you’ll of course be lining us ALL up with jobs. I’ve got a big family, so it’s going to be pretty goddamn expensive. Shit, just ME moving is going to cost more than you’d be willing to cough up.

In the mean time, I’m going to remain here, giving the finger to the GOP, the Establishment/Corporate owned Democrats, and people like you. Seriously, you’re an idiot.

@ imall4frogs He’s talking about people like YOU.

#imall4frogs

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mininky · 5 years

Text

Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch

Summary: Changkyun has been in love with you for as long as he can remember, and he’s determined to make you finally stop looking at him as your little brother’s best friend and see him as a man. This is a story of love, scheming, and hijinks with the help of Changkyun’s friend and a bad date known as the Hannibal.

Pairing: College student! Changkyun x Noona reader

Genre: Crack, fluff, romance, smut, slow burn

Word Count: 19.5K (I really outdid myself this time)

Warnings: unprotected sex, fingering, public sex

A/N: This is dedicated to @mzpandylu because I just love making you suffer with me over this brat.

Changkyun has always been too smart for his own good. For as long as he can remember he's been able to weasel his way out of all possible consequences for his varying shenanigans. One might think that now, as an adult, he'd finally outgrown this. But honestly, Changkyun isn't sure if 'adult' is an apt description for him when he's still living in dorms and barely holding down a work-study job. He's honestly not sure how the lab hasn't caught on to the fact that he sometimes makes acid that he's turned a profit on occasionally. But that's neither here nor there. No the main reason why Changkyun doesn't feel like he's really an adult yet isn't because he's still in school, or because he isn't really living on his own yet. No the real reason why he doesn't feel like an adult is because you don't see him as one. A fact that perpetually insults and aggravates him.

There are some facts he's just accepted, no matter how much it annoys him. He can admit now that his parents and you will always see him as a snot-nosed brat. The former he can accept easily, it's the latter that makes him feel the rage of a thousand suns. Not that suns have sentient feelings, but Changkyun's rather fond of the whimsical folly in such an absurd statement.

For as long as Changkyun has known you he's been head-over-heels in love with you. You had this aura to you, and no matter how many times he's tried to pulverize his feelings for you to a bloody pulp they find a way to resurface and grow stronger with even more wide-spread roots. It's been this way for as long as he can remember really.

He first met you when he really was just a snot-nosed punk. He was all of six years old, the new kid in town. You were ten, the cute next door neighbor who tolerated him due to your mutual voracious appetites in books but mostly because he became fast friends with your little brother, Hyungwon, who was a year older than him but in the same grade. There were a lot of things he learned about you that summer, most importantly he learned that you had mastered the armbar already and had no qualms with using it to get revenge on Hyungwon for saving over your Pokemon Yellow file.

Three years later you got your period for the first time, a moment that Changkyun has seared into his brain because he continued pestering you about how tampons were used to which you threatened to shove your history textbook up his ass. Even then, he knew that you really would throw down and he never brought it up again.

Flash forward to his thirteenth summer, this is the first time Changkyun would realize that he was in love with you. That it wasn't just that he thought you were cute or the epitome of cool. No no, this was the beginning stages of puppy love. Although, at this point in his life he was less concerned with his infatuation with his best friend's sister and what his budding feelings meant and was more concerned with the fact that he sprung boners just from hearing you laugh. To his credit, that's a very common problem at that age. Unfortunately for him...he still pops random boners from thinking about you. It didn't help that by this age, you at 17 years old, had already started blossoming into your body, something that would take many more years for the same to happen to him. Not that he'd ever admit it to anyone, but he sometimes still jerks off to memories of you lounging around the pool that summer.

When he was fourteen he finally started high school. It was the only year that he was able to attend with you, but that one year was magical. Thanks to your overprotective nature for your brother who would fall asleep standing up in between classes he saw you very often. You were also his ride to and from school. He had been shocked, and deeply offended, to find out that you weren't considered one of the cool kids at school. You stuck mostly to yourself, or to whatever book was closest to you. A sentiment that still relates to him. That year though you had somehow managed to get him access to his first ever party containing illegal substances.

The party had been held at Wonho's house, a senior who was that dude. You know that dude, the one that everyone loved and either wanted to be him or wanted to bone him? Well, that was Wonho. Changkyun can still vividly recall wandering around aimlessly out of sheer boredom when he found you making out with a guy he was sure was bad news. Shownu. Shownu was already out of high school and living on his own. He could easily have picked Changkyun up by the collar and flung him to the opposite side of the room if he wanted to. But no, he was usually too busy boning you to acknowledge his competition.

Changkyun was always quick to point out to everyone that would listen that he thought it was gross that a grown ass man was dating a high schooler. The problem with this logic, however, was that you had started dating him while you were both in high school. The other problem was that Shownu was an infuriatingly nice guy. It makes sense that Shownu would go on to be a firefighter while Changkyun was the guy you called if you wanted to find out how to breach a firewall or score an ounce or cheat your way through exams.

Luckily for him, you would eventually see reason and breakup with Shownu. Unfortunately for Changkyun, the reasoning had nothing to do with some terrible heartbreak that he would fix for you and then the two of you would ride off into the sunset. Nor would the root cause be you one day waking up and realizing that your little brother's nerdy best friend was hot with his cracking pubescent voice and rampant acne problems. No, you would break up with Shownu because you were accepted at a university far away from your middle of buttfuck nowhere small town.

This brings Changkyun back to the present. He had somehow landed in the same university that you were now an alumnus of. Hyungwon had barely scraped into it as well, a feat that no one has really been able to understand. (The truth is that Changkyun had helped him cheat his way into the school. But hey, that's what best friends are for, right?) He's been here for a little over two years now, and none the closer to finally getting into your panties. Not that he hasn't tried. Literally, everyone else knows that he would willingly give up an organ just to go on a date with you. Everyone, that is, except you.

"(Y/N)'s inviting us over for dinner again tonight, you coming?" Hyungwon peers over his phone for a moment, cocking an eyebrow up at Changkyun before giving a sardonic laugh. "Who am I kidding, if you had the choice between winning a million dollars and just basking in my sister's presence you'd choose her. I'll never understand why."

"Because she's hot." Hot isn't wholly accurate. It is but a mere fragment of you. Witty, intelligent, terrifyingly strong, adorable, sharp-tongued. But somehow, Changkyun has a feeling that his best friend wouldn't find this little 'crush' all that hilarious if he spewed all of that out on him right now. So he'll keep these thoughts to himself. Playing dumb isn't something Changkyun is fond of, but he is good at.

"I'm going to tell her you said that."

"Please, be my guest. We both know how it's going to end. She'll probably hit you so hard upside the head that you lose your few remaining brain cells and then say something like 'stop being a dumbass.'" Changkyun can't help but let out an exasperated sigh at the sound of Hyungwon's barking laughter.

"Yeah, you're right. When are you ever going to confess?" Ah, that's the question. The greatest question currently revolving around their collectively shared brain cells. It's not from lack of trying, it's just that you stubbornly refuse to see him as anything other than your little brother's best friend. He hates the term friend zoned and is a firm believer that dudes who use it are boring pricks who just don't know how to say what they want. But Changkyun? Well, he's been banished to the brother realm, no matter how many times he's tried to rectify it.

"I've tried. A million fucking times. You were there last week when I asked her to go to the movies with me and she was all 'you're just using me for concession stand money.' Or the time before that when I told her that her new dress would look better on the floor and she just socked me in the arm and told me it wasn't that ugly? Or how about the time-"

"-Christ dude, I get it. You're making me all depressed over here and I need to get a nap in before we head out for dinner. And depressed naps are the least satisfying."

"You literally just woke up from a nap."

"Yeah, well, it was only my second nap of the day. We all know that I need a minimum of four to function. How do you think I got to be this handsome? Beauty sleep, my friend. You should think of trying it sometime. Maybe then your ugly mug will stop scaring away my sister." Before Changkyun can respond, Hyungwon is turning over and snoring.

"...this isn't even your room. And that's my fucking bed you lazy jerk." For a moment Changkyun contemplates picking up his pillow and smothering his best friend with it. But he figures murdering your brother will most certainly cockblock himself for life. A fate that his mere existence might already be cursed to, but he refuses to give the world more reasons to stop his one-sided love from being reciprocated.

----------------

He would like to lie and say he didn't fret many times over what to wear before seeing you for just a simple dinner. But the truth is rather obvious the moment you take a look at the floor of his dorm. He's sure his dormmate, Jooheon, won't be very pleased about this. At the same time, he's pretty sure he'll never piss Jooheon off as much as when he woke up in the middle of the night to find Changkyun screaming at his computer screen in nothing but his birthday suit. Apparently, most men aren't that comfortable seeing other dudes naked. Especially when they're volatility angry after losing a video game. Who would have guessed?

On the trek over to your apartment, Changkyun did what he was best at; he got lost in his own head. Visions of you fluttered through his mind's eye. In this altered reality, Hyungwon was nowhere to be seen and certainly not snoring next to him in the passenger's seat. No, in this world you had invited just him to come up for an evening tryst. He pictured you answering in a long silk robe with lacey underwear peeking out where you had it loosely tied together. Just as he was about to enter your home in his vision he could hear your dulcet tones telling him-

"Earth to Changkyun. Come in dork. Or don't, just stand out there smiling like an idiot for all I care. But I'm not waiting on you until the food gets cold." Changkyun blinked as he took in your visage, the real you not the fictionalized caricature in his head. There was no racy cheeky lace or silk in sight, instead, you were in a plain white t-shirt and yoga pants. The real kicker though was your face, your absurdly pretty face with a look plastered on that screamed 'stop testing my patience, dumbass.'

"My bad I just got lost in thought I guess." He stares at you for a moment, praying that maybe if he looks at you at just the right angle for just long enough you'll finally notice that he's started bulking up, shedding what was left of his baby fat and then you'll jump into his arms in pure joy. Or lust. He isn't picky. Shit, he's too desperate to be picky at this point in his life.

"Yeah, I kind of gathered that already. So...are you coming in or not? I made way too much spaghetti, so please grab a million bowls of it if you want." He walks slowly behind you as you speak, his eyes trying not to superglue themselves onto your backside. And oh what a magnificent backside it is. He could write sonnets about it. He's pretty sure that in high school he actually did. Note to self, be sure to burn any diaries containing incriminating evidence the next time I go home.

When Changkyun rounds the corner of your hallway he sees that Hyungwon has already made himself at home, sprawled out on your couch with an absurdly large pile of pasta on the coffee table while he browses through Netflix. Typical. Changkyun pauses for a moment as he turns in the kitchen, watching with careful eyes as you fix your own plate before sticking a fork out at him.

"Hey, you know how this works in my place. I'm not your mom, I'm not about to fix you a plate. So get to it buddy boy." There are a few facts in life that Changkyun has come to learn due to his infatuation for you. One, he's completely whipped for you and he's okay with that. Two, he's probably a glutton for punishment with a hardon for your trucker mouth and insults. But thirdly, and most importantly, underneath your tough hardened exterior, there's a heart of gold that's softer than Wonho's plushy pile even if you refuse to admit that to the public.

"You got it, boss, I remember the rules. You only remind me every time I'm here." He tries and fails to fight a smile at the way you roll your eyes at him.

"Was that sass I'm hearing? That better not be sass." You grumble as you pour on a disgusting amount of parmesan before joining Hyungwon on the couch, smacking his legs away when he tries to stretch them across you. The sight shouldn't be so heartwarming to Changkyun. But here he is, smiling like a doofus as he fixes himself a plate. Hyungwon, unfortunately, looks back with an evil grin slapped onto his face before he turns back around to face his sister. Changkyun knows that look all too well. Hyungwon is about to meddle. That's the last thing Changkyun needs. Not when things are going so well. Okay, they aren't going at all but not going at all is still better than you karate chopping his throat before telling him that you see him as just another little brother.

"So, noona, I hear you've got a date tomorrow." Deep breaths Changkyun, don't let this get to you he's probably lying.

"What's it to you? I feel like you want something out of this. You're up to something, brat. I can sense it." Fuck, that's a yes. You're redirecting it onto Hyungwon because he's right. Changkyun's known you long enough to know your tell. He's grown used to you dating, but for some reason he's even more unhappy than normal at hearing this news.

"Can't a little brother just make sure his older sister isn't attracting some creeps?" Everyone in the room knows that Hyungown doesn't really care about that, he's a terrible liar and has a penchant for snooping when bored. It's a terrible combination to witness when it rolls out of control.

"What'll you do about it? I'd have better luck with Changkyun protecting me than your frail ass. Shit, you could practically blow away with one strong gust of wind." Changkyun tries not to pout at this as he finally sits down, shoveling food into his mouth to stop himself from saying anything obvious or painfully lame. Like 'I'd protect you any day noona!' Yeah, no. He'd rather shoot himself than admit that to you. With how annoyed you look right now you'd probably shred his ass to pieces. A death that's honestly preferable to dying alone in his parent's basements with the feds looking for him. (He was voted most likely to have this happen to him in his senior year.)

"First of all, rude. I mean you're right, but rude. Second of all, have you not seen Changkyun lately? He practically lives at the gym." Changkyun could fucking kiss Hyungwon he's so happy. It's only taken him over a decade to finally be a wingman. Changkyun glances over at you to see you squinting at him as if trying to size him up.

"I guess." That's it?? You guess? Christ almighty he really is going to die alone. "Anyway, that's beside the point. You have nothing to worry about, I can handle myself just fine thank you very much. And don't think that trying to bring up my love life will get me off your ass on your grades. Are you still failing your math class?"

"I'm passing." Barely. He's at a solid seventy. For now. But Chankgyun isn't about to rat him out, not when he finally tried to help. "Why don't you ever ask Changkyun about his grades? Get on his ass too!" Aaaaaand the wingman has left the building.

"That's because I know Changkyun keeps up with his studies, unlike you." He watches a sibling's quarrel break out for the next few minutes before he finally decides to speak up.

"So, noona...who is this guy?"

"Nobody you know. And for now, I'd like to keep it that way. Not that you brats would understand, but I'm going through a dry spell and I'd like to finally get to an oasis."

"Gross." Hyungwon fake gags, trying to scramble away when you smack him upside his head. "Ow, ow, stop stop! And hey, ow ow ow that's my hair, Changkyun can relate!" That seems to stop your attacks for a moment, your eyes narrowing on Changkyun as if trying to sniff out the truth.

"You guys are in your college heydays, shouldn't you be getting laid all the time? And aside from that whatever happened to that girl? What was her name, Jessica? No Samantha? No wait..."

"Apple. Her name was Apple." Hyungwon pipes in to save his sister from going down the list of conquests in the last few years. Listen, Changkyun was in love with you. That doesn't mean he didn't still make it a point to get laid sometimes. It's not like he's actually in a relationship with you. Unfortunately.

"Christ I was way off. Anyway, yeah whatever happened to her? Did you guys break up?"

Changkyun tries to shrug it off, but before he can answer Hyungwon is interjecting. "They were more like casual friends with benefits. Until she finally let him turn on the light one night."

"She didn't let you bone with the lights on?" You whip around to question him, but once again Hyungwon steals the light.

"Nope, anyway so he turns on the light and goes down on her and he says that he saw an-"

"Okay, time to cut this off. I swore you to secrecy asshole, imagine how you'd feel if some chick was spilling to her friends about your junk?"

"Wait, wait. What was wrong with her junk?"

"Catch this, she had like, an elephant trunk for a clit. It was just long flaps of skin like a second labia attached there. He tried googling pictures to find anything like it, but nothing."

"Holy shit, what did you do? Wait, wait no I don't want to know. I don't even want to think of you having sex, that's just gross." If Changkyun had any feelings left in him he's pretty sure he'd be hurt by that. But as it stands, he's grown numb to the hellhole that is this moment. He takes back everything he said earlier about Hyungwon, he wishes he had indeed smothered him to death with a pillow.

"Gee, thanks, you two. Also, need I remind you Hyungwon, but making fun of people for things they can't control is mean."

"Says the asshole who asked the poor girl 'what is that?'"

"Is it possible that you just...don't know what a clit looks like?" Changkyun takes back all earlier statements on being numb because now he can feel annoyance and rage bubbling through his veins.

"I know what a fucking clit looks like. It wasn't my first rodeo, okay." He tosses a pillow at Hyungwon when the screeching laughter becomes unbearable. Et tu, Brute? Et tu?

"Okay, wait, I can't just hear elephant clit and walk away. I need more details." Changkyun sighs, caving into your puppy eyes like the sucker he is.

"Okay, first of all, this never fucking leaves the room. I don't ever want to hear you guys bring this up to anyone else, it's not cool. It was just...giant. I'll summarise, she was taking steroids to try to keep up with the other gymnasts and there were some unexpected side effects."

"Wait, steroids for gymnastics? Is that even allowed?" Changkyun just shrugs at your question, trying to mentally throw himself into a daydream where you don't question his sexual prowess or where Hyungwon doesn't bring up his worst sexual moment to date. "I have so many questions for her-" you throw up a hand at the glare Changkyun throws you, "-but I won't. Trust me, I wouldn't want some dude spilling the beans about me like that either. I feel like I have to go scrub myself clean from all this sin now."

"Changkyun can join you-ow hey wait! I can't breathe!" It only takes you a fraction of a second to get Hyungwon in a chokehold and Changkyun just smirks at his misery. That little shit deserves it. He went from being the best wingman ever to the biggest fucking rat in just a few minutes. He probably should have expected that though.

---------------

That night Changkyun tossed and turned, his brain swirling around too quickly to fall into a restful sleep. His thoughts kept returning to one particular moment with you years ago, shortly after he had entered high school. He had been "struggling" with his English class, and his parents had enlisted your help in tutoring him to get his C minus up to their expectation of straight A's again. It ended up being a win-win, as you were struggling a bit in your coding class and he was a young teenager who spent far too much time on his Myspace page, he was the perfect person to help.

"Changkyun, you're overthinking this again. I need you to shut the fuck up for five seconds and listen to me: the essay topic is about why you think Victor created the monster. Not about Mary Shelly's fucked up relationships, stay on topic here." He watches you spin around in your computer chair a few times before throwing your pencil at his forehead. "Are you listening, dork?"

He wasn't. It was really hard to pay attention to anything when you were looking at him like that. Plush lips. Soft thighs. Bra strap falling down on your left shoulder. You were a work of art aptly titled 'temptation.' "Yeah, I'm listening." He paused, rewinding his mental tape. Right, essay topic. Relationship. "They were kind of sort of lovers."

"You aren't completely wrong, but the teacher is lame and will disagree unless you go hard on this idea. So why do you think that Frankenstein and his creation are lovers? Or at least, that there's a homoerotic subtext in their relationship?"

"Well, Victor Frankenstein had to marry his, like, sister cousin right? But it's really obvious that he didn't love her, and not for the gross incest reasons but more because he wasn't into chicks. So he creates this monster, this absolutely hideous man in an effort to kill off his gay desires. Except it doesn't work. Because it feels like he and that one dude, Henry, are totally banging during the voyage. Frankenstein's creation is one big metaphor for his gay desires and that's why he refuses to name him and that's why he wants to kill him even though the monster has done nothing wrong really." Changkyun watches you light up, moving in closer and nodding along as he continues.

"Exactly! You're a smart cookie, kid."

"Don't call me kid. I'm not a kid, Noona." He wanted to scream when you rolled your eyes at him. He was fourteen, just four years younger than you. But in high school that made a world of difference, unfortunately for him.

"You are a kid, twerp. Now back on topic, you have a clear thesis but you need to make sure your argument is strong. You need to back this up with as many quotes as you can. And all those weird relationships Mary Shelly had that you were talking about earlier? Well, use those too. Her life will help strengthen your argument. You need to stop looking at papers as these boring outlines that you just have to throw together. I want you to look at it like you're about to stand on stage and win an argument in front of the whole school. That's how you write a solid paper."

Changkyun nodded quietly, still slightly offended that you had just called him a kid and a twerp just moments prior. "Hey, Noona? You're really good at this. Do you want to be, like, a lawyer or something?"

"Ew, gross no. That sounds so stuffy and boring. No, I'm going to be a linguistic anthropologist. I read about it, and it sounds so cool. It's about studying language and cultures and stuff. You know the field is dominated by women? Isn't that, like, so rad?" You gave another spin in your chair before suddenly stopping and staring at him rather conspiratorially. "Words are really interesting. For instance, it's a fact that you're just a kid but you get really angry when I call you that. Why is that? Is it because you're placed in a category of submission and it's a reminder of your place on the hierarchy? Or is it because your teenage rebellion has started to kick in and it makes you resent authority figures?"

"Isn't that basically the same question just reworded?" You cackle at his question but you don't answer him. He waits for you to finish laughing before speaking again. "Well, I think it's really cool that you want to do that. And I think you'll be great at it. Even if your theories are a bit half baked right now."

"Thanks, Kkungie. I really appreciate that coming from you. You're like my number two supporter. Behind Shownu, of course." He realizes at that moment that he doesn't hate being called kid by you because of age hierarchies or whatever bullshit you just spewed. No, he hates being called kid by you because it's a glaring reminder that you're so out of reach. The ever unobtainable temptation. He vowed then that someday, he'd make sure you'd see him as a man.

-----------

Changkyun was sick of cafeteria food and damn tired of making instant ramen in his dorm, so for a change of pace, he decided to meander away from the university and over to the nearest Mexican restaurant. It was a little more than he was comfortable with paying for tacos, but he figured that the salivation inducing pork belly would be worth it. He still had last night playing on repeat in his head, that look of complete and utter disgust on your face at the mere mention of Changkyun having sex. Okay, well to be fair it was actually a really gross subject. You just can't make elephant trunk shaped clits sexy. It's just not possible. Damn Hyungwon! If only he had kept his mouth running on about these sweet new abs. Maybe then you wouldn't have laughed your head off and told him that he didn't know what a clit is. He really wishes that he could have just said something cocky like, "I can prove to you that I do" but he knows that would have resulted in either an armbar or a chokehold.

He's still ruminating in anger when he steps into the restaurant, waiting for the hostess to come around so he can pick up his to-go order he already placed. His eyes lazily scan over the restaurant until they stop on you. This time you're not in your usual home attire of couch-potato activewear. No, you've pulled out all the stops. Your hair is done to perfection, you have on a full face of meticulously applied makeup, and you're wearing a tight little black dress that hugs all your curves. Or at least the curves that he can see from your waist up in the booth. You don't spot him staring at you, thank god. His eyes quickly swivel to the back of the head of the guy sitting across from you.

He can't see anything other than the back of his head, but he can tell something about this guy is off. Changkyun has known you long enough now that he can read your facial expressions like a book, and right now you're saying that you want to set yourself on fire so you can get out of the restaurant. Before he can make any rash decisions to rush over and play knight-in-shining-armor the hostess pops up in front of him.

"Table for one?"

"Oh, no, I'm just here to pick up my order to go. It's under Changkyun."

"Okay, let me see if it's ready yet." He watches the hostess disappear before his eyes swivel right back to the booth. You seem to be making a break for it, running straight into the direction that he can only assume is the bathrooms. Or maybe you'll try to escape out of the fire exit. You do look desperate enough to try. He's about to make his way towards where you disappeared to when the hostess makes her prompt return with a bag of food. He hastily grabs it, thanking her before immediately heading off towards your general direction. It doesn't take long before he finds himself in the hallway directly in front of the women's restroom with you nowhere in sight. He has a couple of options. He could either wait it out or he could walk away. But something in his gut tells him that he needs to wait for you, that for whatever reason either there are no windows for you to crawl out of or you're trying to give yourself a pep talk into braving out a clearly shitty date.

Very little time passes before Changkyun finds out that he made the right decision. You're glued to your phone as you step out, almost walking right past him before he calls out to you. "You need some help?"

He watches you jump back slightly, almost tripping in your high heels when you turn to face him. He's hoping that he looks cool, leaned up against the wall with his arms crossed and his eyebrow quirked. He's guessing that with your deer in headlights reaction that he probably looks more lecherous than cool, unfortunately. "Christ, you scared the shit out of me. What are you doing here?"

He waves his to-go bag for a second before nodding his head in the direction of your table. "You looked like you were praying that the earth would swallow you whole so you could get out of that bore-fest. Do you want some help?"

"What do you mean help? I can take care of myself just fine." You sniff in indignation but you still haven't walked away just yet, and that tells Changkyun that your pride doesn't want to admit that he's right.

"Listen, noona, you clearly don't want to continue that date. Tell me I'm wrong and I'll walk away. But tell me that you just need some help and I can weasel you out of the situation. You know I'm good for it." He tries to bite back a smile as you chew on your cheek while thinking over his offer.

"Okay, so the dude creeps me out. There's just something off about this. I've met him a few times. He's a friend of a friend of a friend type of situation. We've talked a little bit after he hit me up on Instagram and he seemed pretty normal, right? But then we get here and he just keeps talking about my skin. About how much he loves my skin and how pretty it is and he keeps trying to hold my hand and like...rub my skin. It's fucking weird and I would rather be run over by a semi-truck than have to endure another one of his sweaty hand-holding moments. Just promise me this, you never speak about this to Hyungwon. I mean it. Boy's a fucking blabbermouth and I don't want to hear about this for the next ten years."

"Deal." Changkyun sticks out his hand for the two of you to shake on it before he continues speaking. "I have a plan, just go back to the table and act like everything is fine. I'll be over in a minute."

"If that motherfucker tries to hold my hand again before you get back I swear to god-"

"I've got this. Just trust me already." He gives a couple of pats to your head before pointing back to your table. "Come on, go. I'm sure he's probably already convinced you're taking a massive shit or something."

You scoff, muttering something about how he's such a brat as you finally wander back. Now it's time for him to set his quickly thought up plan in motion. He gives it a few moments, scrolling through Instagram before finally making his entrance. He imagines badass escape music playing in the background, visualizing himself as Jason Bourne or Tom Cruise or that dude from Prison Break. Except in this scenario, he's leading someone else to their freedom. A man on a mission. As he rounds the corner and nears your table he can see the villain. He's not ugly, but he's shooting way out of his league aiming for you. The dude's a solid five, plain and boring in every single aspect.

"Did your mother age well? Because I can see skin like yours as aging flawlessly. It really is perfection. How often do you see an aesthetician if you don't mind me-"

"(Y/N)? Is that you? Holy shit, it is you. Baby, I've missed you so much. I'm so sorry, I know I fucked up but I'd do anything to get you back. Anything, I mean it." He watches your eye twitch for a moment, a look of pure annoyance stealing over your features before you break out into impromptu theatrical genius.

"Oh my god, Changkyun I...I never expected to see you here. I...I don't know what to say. It's been so long. I mean, the last time I saw you was when I went back home to see my parents and you were hooking up with Apple, the local juice stand girl whose parents oddly enough owned an orange grove. We don't even have the right climate for an apple orchard. She was the forbidden fruit and yet you took from her."

"Yeah, well I guess Citron makes for a weirder girls name so they ended up deciding on Apple. But I swear baby, I'm done with that. I wish I had never met her. I'd give up my spleen just to try to make you smile again."

"Excuse me, but we're in the middle of a date."

"Oh really? I'm...I'm so sorry it's just that-" Changkyun slides into the booth next to you, grabbing your hand as he speaks, "-you see sir I've always been in love with this girl. Ever since the first time I saw her back on her daddy's ranch I just knew she was the one for me. The way she used to light up as she collected all those eggs-"

"-Excuse me, but I believe I just said we're on a date. If you could please let go of her hand, you're tainting her perfect skin." Holy Christ, this dude's probably a serial killer. Changkyun is expecting him to break out into Hannibal Lecter quotes any moment now.

"I'm...I'm sorry. I guess...I guess I can't take back what I've done. I was terrible to you, (Y/N). I'm so sorry. I wish I could get another chance, but I can see I'm not wanted here." Changkyun hangs his head sorrowfully, giving a small fake sob before flinging himself out of the booth. "But I promise you, I would treat you right. This city slicker boy don't know how to handle a girl like you-"

"Okay that's enough buddy, move along."

"Well excuse me, but I'm trying to have a meaningful last goodbye with the woman I love. Have you no heart, sir? I just...I just wanted to make my peace. Try one last time. Love is a beautiful thing and I know that I ruined it but gosh darn it how can I walk away from the best yodeler I've ever met?"

"Nobody but my Daddy has ever thought my yodeling was any good. You really mean that Kkungie?" You stand up dramatically, clutching onto your chest as you try to move closer to Changkyun but your date quickly interjects.

"Woah, woah, woah. I didn't sign up for this, come on man just let me finish my fucking date in peace. Go home, no one wants to hear your bullshit about orange or whatever her name was and her fucking yodeling."

"Don't you badmouth my yodeling, Jason! It has a special place in my heart! Come on Changkyun, let's go." Changkyun grins when you grab his hand, but before he can turn around and ride off into the sunset with you he gets cold-cocked by your creepy skin loving date. Right in the jaw.

"What the fuck dude?" Changkyun stands in between you and the guy, cracking his neck and rubbing at his already swelling jaw before staring him down. He's slightly taller but certainly lighter than Changkyun. "I'm going to give you a few seconds to walk away before I destroy your face to the point that even your own mother won't want to look at you."

"Do you really think that you can take-" Changkyun doesn't wait for him to finish before punching him square in the face, a startling crack wringing through the air when his knuckles make contact with Jason's nose.

"Okay, time to go. Let's move it." Changkyun wraps his hand back around you, trying to pull you forward only to find you stationary staring in shock at the scene that just unfolded. "Christ, we need to move it (Y/N)." He waits only a few more seconds before throwing you over his shoulder. "I am not waiting around for cops. I have an ounce on me and I really don't need that kind of stress in my life."

He books it out of the restaurant as fast as he can, pushing past the confused hostess and ignoring the shouts of whatever his name was coming from behind him. Good god do you owe him now. His jaw smarts, his knuckles are bruised, and he's currently carrying you over his shoulder while trying to run to his car as fast as possible. If this doesn't prove that he loves you, he doesn't know what will. Especially when you consider that he left his fucking tacos at your booth. Well, this is just shaping up to be a fan-fucking-tastic evening.

He throws open his car door, setting you down on the ground of the passenger side before quickly jogging back over and slamming into the driver's side. "Noona, what the fuck, come on! I don't have all goddamn day!" The sound of Changkyun screaming seems to break you out of your dazed trance, quickly fumbling into the seat and closing the door as he peels out of the parking lot.

"Drive to my place first please."

"That was the plan. Also, why are you saying please? This isn't a fucking uber dude."

"Can't I be polite sometimes?" Changkyun just snorts at that, tapping his fingers on the wheel in impatience when he pulls up to a red light. "Hey, um. Thanks by the way. I mean, I feel there were smarter ways you could have gone about that than pulling the 'old flame' routine out of your ass but I really appreciate your help."

"Yeah well, I'm not the one who came up with the fucking hick routine. I mean really, Apple? Forbidden fruit? What the fuck was with that?"

"I kind of just wanted to see how you'd run with it. I wasn't expecting you to go full force with it. Now I'm going to have to retire my yodeling career before I could even start it."

"It's a shame, I know your daddy was so proud of it."

"Oh shut it, smart ass." He glances over to see you staring out the window, brain going a million miles a minute as usual. That's how you've always been, in a state of constant thought. He's pretty sure that beyond the immense sexual attraction he has to you the real reason why he always gets pulled into your gravitational force is that you're much like him in that sense. Always trying to see twenty steps ahead, find every possible angle and solution and rework a problem over and over until you see every single way it can all go wrong. It's that same exhaustive thinking that helped you to graduate early and top of your class not just with your bachelors but with your masters just a year after Changkyun started University. It's what makes you uniquely you, but also oddly relatable. You're one of the few people that can keep up with Changkyun, perhaps even remain a few steps ahead of him at all times.

"You're clearly thinking about something. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Why did you help me?"

"Because you're my friend."

"I mean, yeah. But you just got decked in the fucking face and went on a tirade about your love of my yodeling just to get me out of a shitty date." Changkyun parks in front of your apartment as you speak, a small silence settling over for a moment when he turns off the car.

"Listen, I wasn't about to just leave you alone with Hannibal for him to cut off your skin and eat it like pork rinds, okay. Friends help friends." He's not entirely lying. He's not telling the whole truth either, but he's hoping it'll be enough to get you off his back. He can tell by the way the gears inside your head are grinding that it's not enough to satisfy you, but for whatever reason, you leave it be for the moment.

"Well, come on." You climb out of the car, staring at him when he stays stationary. "Are you going to let me put ice on your jaw or not? Besides, you never did get a chance to eat those tacos, at least let me feed you. I think I've got some leftovers you can eat."

"As long as you don't feed me ramen, I'm fine with that." He follows you quietly to the apartment. Should he have just finally admitted his unrequited love to you then in the car? Do you know and you were just waiting for him to say something? Or do you have an inkling, perhaps suspecting and you're trying to figure out what exactly is going on?

"Dude, why do you always freeze at my door?" Changkyun blinks, realizing you've already unlocked the door and the look on your face says that the two of you have been standing there for a hot minute.

"Lost in thought?"

"What's new." You sigh, ushering him inside before locking the door back behind you again. He stands awkwardly in your kitchen as you rummage around in the freezer before finally pulling out a bag of peas and walking back over to him. "This is going to be cold."

"Gee, really? I thought it would be scorching hot, having just come out of the freezer and all."

"Can it, mister. This is my house, which means that I'm the one that gets to be the sarcastic brat. Not you." He snorts in response, flinching slightly under the feeling of the cold bag pressing against his swollen skin. He tries his best to look straight ahead, away from your prying eyes. But try as he might, he's weak to your magnetic gaze. For a moment it's like the world stops, it's almost as though for the first time you're really seeing Changkyun. Not your brother's best friend. Not the snot-nosed brat next door. Not some questionable chemistry major. For once you're looking at him like the man he's become. He can see it in the spark in your eyes, hear it in the hitch of your breath, feel it in the way your hand shakes slightly while trying to hold up the bag of peas.

And for the first time in his life, Changkyun feels his brain halt functioning. Everything becomes silent, frozen under your stare. As if there's nothing to think about, nothing to worry about. He almost wants to say something, do something. But he's terrified that if does the spell will break, he'll turn into a pumpkin, and you'll go right back to treating him like a little brother. But his eyes betray his decision to do nothing, and he knows you see his gaze flicker down to your lips before traveling back up to your eyes. You never do miss a beat, in fact, he's always questioned how in the fuck you've managed to remain oblivious to his infatuation with you for so long. Unless it's willful ignorance. It's the only thing that makes sense. Which is why he's even more confused by the sensation of your soft lips pressing onto his.

It's feather light, over in an instant, but he chases after the sensation. One hand wraps into your hair to pull you back for more. You taste like cilantro and flour tortillas and steak, and maybe it's because he's really fucking hungry but he can't get enough. Of the way you taste, the way you feel, the way you sigh softly into his mouth when his free hand presses you closer to him, gripping onto your hips. He'd gladly be punched in the face a thousand times if the end result was you kissing away his wounds each time. Christ, he's dreamed of this moment for so long he was terrified that it wouldn't be that amazing in real life but it's even better. Way better.

But good things never seem to last long for Changkyun anymore. Because when his dick springs to life you suddenly seem to come back to reality, pulling away with a look of utter confusion and shock. A look at stark odds with the dazed bliss he's sure is playing on his face.

"This...I'm sorry I...I shouldn't have done that. I don't know what I was thinking. We really shouldn't, um I should. Yeah. I should get the food for you. Um, here just uh hold this to your jaw to stop the swelling. Do you want some ibuprofen or anything before you eat? Are you good? Maybe some water? I'm sure you're thirsty. I can't believe I didn't ask you earlier if you wanted some water."

In all 14 years of knowing you, he's never once seen you in such a state. He really didn't see this twist coming. He expected you to want to do backflips with him or sing praises to the heavens and then maybe hopefully screw his brains out. Instead, you look horrified, confused, lost, and possibly sickened by what just transpired. Which is just as heartbreaking to him as it is infuriating. If there is a god, he's cruel and unjust. That much Changkyun is certain of right now.

He watches you zip around the kitchen, flitting from thing to thing for the next few minutes before he finally speaks up. "Are you okay?"

"Peachy, perfectly fine. Why wouldn't I be okay? It's not like I just made out with my little brother's best friend in my kitchen after he got punched in the face by my possible serial killer date." You top off your jibbering with a high pitched and short-lived laugh. As if to really bring it home to Changkyun that you've officially thrown yourself off the cliff and dived into insanity.

"I mean...I'm kind of more than just your little brother's best friend. I am my own sentient entity separate from Hyungwon. We aren't like...fucking conjoined twins. And it's not like we're actually related. But yeah that dude did seem like he was going to skin you alive, so I won't argue there." You ignore him, rummaging around the fridge before aggressively slamming a leftover bowl of soup into the microwave. Well, this is just going swimmingly. "(Y/N)...noona, come on. Just talk to me, please."

"What do you want me to say Changkyun? I fucked up. We fucked up. And it's never going to happen again. I can't let it happen again. It's just...it's not right."

"Why? Why isn't it right?"

"Because it just isn't!" He watches you angrily ruffle your hair before spinning back around to face the microwave, your foot tapping away impatiently as the seconds slowly roll by.

"Fine. Whatever. Listen, keep your dinner. I'll figure something out. I'll catch you some other time." He's out the door before you can respond. It's petty of him, he knows this. He knows he should have waited for you to respond, try to talk this out. Express his real feelings. Explain to you that he doesn't see this as just some random kiss. No, this was much much more for him. But he's angry, confused, and heartbroken so really he's pretty sure taking some time to cool off would be the smartest thing for him to do right now.

--------

"Dude, what the fuck happened to your face?" It's moments like this that Changkyun really wishes he just had his own space. He actually really likes his dormmate, he's become fast friends with him which is rather unusual for Changkyun. But he just isn't in the mood for any human beings right now.

"Long story." Changkyun tosses the extra sandwich at Jooheon before flopping down on his bed. He really should have just gotten some tacos again, but somehow they seemed tainted. Worthless. Kind of like him.

"Descriptive. Not at all cryptic." Changkyun rolls his eyes before glancing over at Jooheon. Maybe it would do some good to tell him. Unlike Hyungwon he won't fall asleep in the middle of explaining everything, although right now he's not sure he really wants to spill his heart out to someone who's going to pay attention.

"You know (Y/N)?"

"Hyungwon's sister? The chick you've been obsessed with your whole life? Yeah, you've only brought her up more than a thousand times. What about her? She finally turn you down or something?"

"How do you know that she didn't confess to being madly in love with me tonight?"

"You might have the emotional range of a rock most of the time, but I'm pretty sure even you wouldn't be moody and depressed if she suddenly decided that she was into you. Besides, there's kind of that seriously swollen jaw of yours."

"Fair enough."

"So what happened?" Jooheon turns back around to resume typing up his paper as he speaks.

"She kissed me." Changkyun can hear the typing halt almost immediately, silence filling the room for a moment before Jooheon responds.

"She kissed you?" Jooheon repeats this slowly as if the words seem foreign or the concept impossible. Changkyun glares at Jooheon. Anger and humiliation bubbling up at the sound of complete and utter surprise in Jooheon's voice.

"Yeah, and then she freaked the fuck out. Said that it was a mistake and she couldn't do this. Said that I was basically her little brother and it was wrong and some other shit."

"And then she punched you in your face?"

"What? No. Why would you think that?"

"Oh, I don't know it might possibly have something to do with the giant bruise forming on your jaw."

"Right. That. No that happened because I busted her out of a shitty date with some dude who wouldn't shut the fuck up about her skin."

"Her skin?"

"Yeah, he was a total basket case. I just happened to be there and noticed how she looked totally miserable so I helped bail her out. Except the dude wasn't too happy about it. Long story short, I got sucker punched. I think I broke his nose. We made a run for it. And then she kissed me when we were at her place and I'm pretty sure I'm doomed to the brother zone for the rest of my life."

"Please for the love of god stop calling it the brother zone. It sounds creepy and very Alabama."

"Fine. Whatever, she freaked out okay."

"So what did you do?"

"I left. What the fuck else was I supposed to do?"

"I don't know. Tell her your feelings maybe?"

"I didn't exactly want to spill my guts to her in a fit of rage."

"Yeah...I guess I get that. So are you going to tell Hyungwon?"

"Fuck no. And neither are you. Dude doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut. He's almost as bad as Minhyuk."

"That's valid. Alright, I won't say anything. But if you need to talk to anybody, I'm here for you bro." If Changkyun had any capacity to feel his emotions left in him, he's pretty sure he'd be touched right now. As it stands though, he's just kind of hoping to wake up and realize that this was all just a shitty dream.

--------------

It wasn't just a shitty dream. No, in some sick and twisted way he had you for just a fraction of a second before you're even further out of reach. It reminds him of a time that he was so close once before. It was about a year ago, towards the end of his Freshman year.

You had just completed your capstone for your masters and you were holding a small celebration at your apartment with your closest friends. Once again, Changkyun had felt a bit like the odd kid out of the loop, straying away from human interaction in favor of sipping his cheap shitty beer in peace and quiet out on the patio. It's not that he didn't like parties, he just never knew how he was supposed to behave. Especially when he was around you. For some reason, he was perpetually nervous that he'd seem like the uncool dweeb who was your pity friend. You constantly told him that wasn't true whenever he'd bring it up but isn't that exactly what you'd tell someone who was only your friend because you felt bad for them?

Hyungwon was convinced that Changkyun was on his man period, and while he'd tried to drag him back into the party a few times he'd clearly given up about an hour ago. That was perfectly fine with Changkyun. He'd had his own finals to contend with, and honestly, his brain was too fried to focus on a conversation for long. At least, he was sure of that until you stepped out onto the patio with two beers in your hand. You silently handed one to him before popping open the other and sipping from it. Somehow, you always knew how to find him. And he appreciated that you never chastised him for doing his own thing away from everyone else. "I know you hate coming to parties. But I really appreciate that you came. Don't tell anyone else, but I think you're my favorite guest here tonight."

"I don't hate them. Hate's a strong word. Shouldn't you know that ms 'I'm about to get my masters in linguistics?'"

"I can't believe it. That I'm finally here, that I've reached my goal. It feels like just yesterday you were helping me pack everything up to start university and pilfering my underwear. And now I'm getting my masters."

"I didn't steal your underwear!" He knew that his bright red face gave away his lie. He totally stole a few pairs. But he isn't about to admit that. He knows it's...incredibly creepy. Crosses a lot of boundaries. But to be fair, these were clean pairs. He also would never in a million years do it again. He lacked impulse control then, but that doesn't save him from the burning embarrassment he's feeling now. Oh god. You probably think he's a closet perv.

"It's fine. I thought it was funny. Don't worry, I never told anyone about it. If anyone else had done it, I would've been pissed. But for some reason, it's impossible to be mad at you. Maybe he was right."

"Who was right? About what?" He hated when you got cryptic on him. At the same time, he loved that about you. The way you lived in a world of puzzles and riddles and sometimes cracked open for only certain people to see. It was as infuriating as it was attractive.

You took a long pause before guzzling down the rest of your beer, staring off over the patio before speaking just above a whisper. "You know...in another life, maybe we would be great. Two fucked up peas in a pod." Before he could even respond you were gone, slipping back into the party and leaving him to dwell on the weight of your words. In another life? No. You'd be great together in this one. And now he wanted, more than ever before, to prove that to you. Because now he feels like he might really have a shot at this.

--------------

It's been nearly two months since Changkyun last saw you. This is the longest he's gone without seeing your face with the exception of the three years he was in high school and you were in University if you don't count the weekly skype calls. At this point, he's run out of excuses and it's clear that Hyungwon is suspicious. He was given little choice but to either expose what happened to his best friend and be mocked for the rest of his existence, or finally go with him for Sunday brunch again. Which is how Changkyun finds himself standing in front of your door, fidgeting restlessly and trying not to imagine every doom and gloom possibility.

Changkyun fights the urge to run away when you open the door, your mouth falling open in shock for a moment before you plaster on an uncomfortable smile and usher both of them in.

"It's been a while Kkungie. What mayhem have you been up to?"

"He's been an oddly good boy. A total square dweeb. I keep trying to get him to come hang out, but he's been doing nothing but studying." Hyungwon pipes up, grabbing a slice of quiche without asking before he meanders over to his usual spot on the couch.

"You could learn something from him. There is more to life than sleep and girls."

"Laaaaaame. I came here for free food and Netflix, and honestly, I am feeling so attacked right now."

Changkyun shakes his head at the bickering, relaxing a bit as he grabs a plate. Everything seems like it's gone right back to normal. As if you didn't kiss him and then have an existential crisis just a couple of months ago. Changkyun isn't sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Then again, he wasn't really expecting for you to leap into his arms and throw yourself at him the moment you finally saw him again. Hoping for it, sure. Expecting it, not really. The odds of it were slim to none and Changkyun is, unfortunately, a realist through and through.

The feeling of eyes on him has Changkyun glancing up, you look oddly unsure of yourself for a moment before quickly looking away. He swears that he sees a slight blush on your cheeks, but maybe that's just that stupid bit of hope in him that refuses to fucking die already. Life would be so much easier for him if he could just move on already. It would probably be easier for you too. But the heart wants what the heart wants, no matter how ridiculous or improbable it is.

After that small moment, the rest of the time seems to pass by easily. Comfortably. Normally. He likes to think of himself as a master of deception at this point. A man completely in control of his own emotions. Because really all he wants to do is kiss you again. He didn't think that he'd be this obsessive with it, but seeing you again has his memories playing on a loop. How soft you were, how quickly you switched from hesitance to hunger before it all went downhill. Really fucking downhill. Straight into the ocean actually.

"Shit, I forgot I have a date." Hyungwon's bizarre spike of energy has both you and Changkyun freezing.

"With who? Your hand?" Changkyun tries, and fails, at not laughing at your jab to Hyungwon.

"Rude, unlike you, I'm not having problems getting laid. If you must know, I have a date with Lisa. And I'm about to be really fucking late. Changkyun, can I borrow your keys?"

"Just my keys? I would have figured that you'd want the car that comes with those keys too."

"Har har jackass. Can I borrow your car or not?"

"Why not just borrow mine?" You pipe up, nodding your head in the direction of your key ring resting on the kitchen counter.

"Because the backseat of your car is always a mess of random clothes."

"Okay, that's just gross. I didn't need that visual."

"What? I didn't say anything gross." Hyungwon tries to play coy but the damage has been done.

"You basically alluded to fucking your date in the back of a car to your sister."

"Et tu, Brute? Et tu? Fine, just for that, need I remind you of the time you got caught sleeping with Rose in the park?" Changkyun rolls his eyes before digging his keys out of his pocket and tossing them to Hyungwon.

"Thanks for just airing all my shit out. Again." Changkyun rolls his eyes before digging his keys out of his pocket and tossing them to Hyungwon. "You know the rules. If you're going to have sex in it, get it detailed before you bring it back."

"Yeah, that's not going to happen. The detailing, that is. Later losers." Before either of them can respond he's out the door. He might usually move at a snail's pace, but when he wants to the lanky little shit can certainly move fast.

"Does he do that a lot?"

"Run his mouth? Yeah. Have you never met your brother?"

"No, use your car for exhibitionism."

"Way more often than I care to think about."

"I'm never sitting in the backseat again."

"It's a wise choice." An uncomfortable silence fills the air for a moment before he finally tries to speak up. "So-"

"I was-" Both of you stop, and he fights a smile at the way you laugh. You've never had a particularly cute laugh. It's one of those cackle-snort-choke laughs that makes everyone else pause for a moment when they hear it. It's endearing. Heartwarming. God, he's missed even your ugly laugh. He's definitely whipped. "Sorry, you first."

"I was just going to ask how you've been. If you're okay." Changkyun stares at the floor as he speaks, afraid to look you directly in the eyes.

"What?"

"Well, I just kind of dipped while you were in the middle of an existential crisis which wasn't cool of me. I'm sorry about that. And then I've been blowing things off because I figured you needed your space, but I want you to know that I have been concerned. I care about you, you know. So I'm sorry for running away. And I want to know, are you okay?"

He watches you slowly blink when he finally glances up, the gears grinding a million miles a minute in your head before you finally speak again. "I've been...I've been okay. Confused. Unsure. Scared."

"None of that sounds okay."

You give a snort, shaking your head as you look at him. For a moment he swears he sees that fire again. That look that tells him that you're looking at him, looking into his soul. Figuring him out. Reading him. Wanting him. He likes that look far too much for his own good, especially because it's over in a flash. Almost imperceptible. He's sure that if he didn't know you as well as he does he wouldn't have even noticed it. He guesses he's not the only master of deception. "Listen, you weren't the only one that fucked up. I shouldn't have freaked out on you like that. I'm the adult, I shouldn't have taken it all out on you like that. I'm sorry for that."

"We're both adults. Stop acting like your this old sage grandmother, you're only four fucking years older than me. I know that I'm a bit of an oddball, and I might not be like all the guys you date with their own places and a steady career, but I am an adult."

"In the eyes of the law sure." That stung way more than it should have, and he knows that for a moment his mask breaks and you can see the pain flash in his eyes by the way you rush to fix your fuck up. "I'm sorry, that was rude. I just. I have a hard time seeing you as all grown up. The same way I have a hard time seeing Hyungwon as anything other than my stupid little brother who always stole my video games."

"So what exactly do I need to do to make you see me as a man? Not some little boy, not your little brother's best friend. Just me."

"I don't think I understand what you're asking."

"Noona, you know exactly what I fucking mean. Do I need to spell it out? Because I will if that's what you want. I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember. And I know you might see it as just some dumb crush, but trust me. It's not. I want you, all of you. And I don't know what I need to do for you to finally see me as a worthy candidate for you, but whatever I need to do I will. We both know that I'm stubborn as hell, so if you don't tell me what I need to do don't think that I'll just give up."

"I...what?" You stop, freezing under his stare for what feels like eons before you finally manage to speak again. "I don't know what to say. I don't know."

"Well think about it. Because I'm not going to back down easily. Tell me that you don't want me, tell me that you aren't at all interested and I'll back off. But if there's even the slightest fucking chance that I can get you to finally see me for me and not just your little brother's best friend I'm not about to back down. I'm a patient man, I've waited this long to get you to even think about it. I have no problems with waiting longer if it means getting you at the end." He doesn't like to think of himself as a cocky man, and he knows that if you've ever paid a lick of attention to him in all these years you'll know he only speaks when he knows he can back it up. He watches you closely, trying to gauge your reaction but your face seems completely blank. He isn't sure if this is in his favor or against it. Whatever the case might be, he's finally said what he's needed to say.

"I'm still not sure what to say. Or think. I had no clue that you felt that way."

"We both know that's bullshit. You had to have known, you aren't that dense of a person."

"That's a valid point. But I just assumed that...I don't know that you were just like every other dumb horny boy out there. I didn't think that there was anything deeper to it. I'm just...speechless. I can't give you any answers right now Changkyun, I'm sorry."

"That's okay. I don't need answers right now. I told you, I'm a patient dude. Just do me a favor and think about it." He grabs the dishes left on the coffee table and brings them back to the kitchen, rinsing them off silently before throwing them in the dishwasher. He has no interest, truly, in doing the dishes to get brownie points. No the real reason why he's done this is because it gives him a prime and unobtrusive view of you. The way you sink slightly into confusion, cogs moving slowly as the calculations begin. This is good, this means that you're thinking about it. You aren't simply blowing him off as you usually would. Perhaps he does stand a chance.

Changkyun watches you for a moment longer before clearing his throat. "Well, I appreciate the food. I'm going to head back now, I've got some papers I want to finish up." That's a lie, he's been caught up on everything for weeks now. Now that he hasn't been spending any time at your place or going to parties he's been working as far ahead as he can. He figures though that it's a simple enough of a lie that you'll believe him. Which is important, because he needs a way to give you some space without making things awkward.

"How are you going to get back? Hyungwon took your car. Do you want me to drive you?"

"Nah, it's no biggie. I can just skip going to the gym today and walk instead."

"No, no I insist. Either we wait for my dipshit brother to come back or I'll drive you. But I don't feel right with making you walk."

"It's two miles, I'll survive. I promise. On cardio days I usually run for five, trust me, I'll be okay." He watches you glare at him, your mouth opening and closing repeatedly before you finally sigh and nod.

"Fine. You know you can really be stubborn when you want to."

"I know. I go for what I want and I usually try to find a way to get it. You, for instance. That's at least the big picture goal."

"What do you mean big picture goal?"

"Jesus, Noona, I meant what I said earlier. I'm not just thinking about this as some one-off thing. I want you. Emotionally, sexually, hell I'll tack on spiritually for good measure. Everything about you drives me crazy, I want that in my life. I want you in my life. Not as a friend. Not simply as my childhood friend. I'm not sure what part about that is so difficult to understand, but I mean it. I'm not asking for you to jump into my arms or my bed right now, although I wouldn't turn it down either, I just want you to honestly think about it. Because for as long as I can remember I've been in love with you, and I don't want to pressure you into anything but I do want a shot at this. I don't want to just be passed off as 'oh it's just a cute crush.' Because that's not what this is." He pauses for a moment, assessing the way you squint and try to analyze everything. Ever the thinker, always trying to find logic even in the midst of a romantic confession. Or at least a passionate confession, Changkyun would like to think. "Just think about it. Thanks again for the breakfast, I'll catch you around." He waits for a moment before pressing his lips to your forehead and striding out the door. Well more like ran out the door, but in his head, he walked out with confidence and gusto and was most certainly not tripping over himself before victory dancing at that small peck.

The only problem that Changkyun sees in all of this is that he's a man of carefully calculated planning, usually. Being a man of brute action just isn't his style. He wants to be sure that all pawns are in their places before a glorious victory. He's the type to always think five steps ahead. But something happened to him when you kissed him after he rescued you from the budding Hannibal. It rewired his brain, or maybe his dick because he's a bit foggy on everything. He's positive that this will help you finally look at him, but at the same time, he isn't one to be so brash. He's just hoping that perhaps this was still the right method needed. Whatever the case might be all he can do for now is try to craft some sort of a game plan to prove himself to you.

----------------------

"So you finally confessed to her?" Jooheon is tossing snacks into Minhyuk's mouth as he asks this, Minhyuk almost choking when a pretzel gets nearly lodged in his throat.

"Yup. She said she didn't know what to say. She really thought that I was just, I don't know, some annoying horny kid or something. Maybe? Or maybe she doesn't even want to acknowledge that I have a dick? It's really all hard to say right now."

"Pun intended or??" Minhyuk ducks when Changkyun throws a pillow at his face. "Sorry, sorry. I get it you're all serious and whipped for this girl."

"Woman. Have some respect."

"Christ." Jooheon and Minhyuk speak at the same time. The double trouble twins back at it again. Changkyun should have known better than to tell them anything, but he needed comrades if he was going to carry anything through. And as much as he loves Hyungwon, he's pretty sure that he'll either sleep through his battle planning meetings or simply spend the entire time razzing him. Neither of which are very helpful.

"Well, knowing you, you have a plan. So what is it?" Minhyuk sprawls out on his stomach, kicking his feet behind him as he blinks up at Changkyun.

"I...I don't have one."

"WHAT?" The double trouble twins really do excel at synchronization.

"That's my problem, I didn't think any of this through. I kind of...I don't know I figured that my confession would have more of an impact maybe? I didn't expect a deer in headlights response, although I suppose I really should have taken that into consideration. It is the most logical of responses really. And I told her that I'd prove to her that I'm a man now. I don't know why I said that. The more I think about it the more...embarrassing the whole situation becomes. Christ guys what am I going to do?"

"Defeat the Huns?" Minhyuk really isn't the most helpful person sometimes. But he does strike genius every once and a while. Especially when it comes to nefarious plottings. Unfortunately, now is clearly not one of those times. "Don't give me that look. I'm thinking. Okay well, has she seen your abs?"

"Yes, I just flash them at random to people." Changkyun holds back the urge to roll his eyes as he deadpans his sarcasm. "Of course she hasn't you nit-wit. The need for her to see them has never really been there."

"Oh, but you have no problem walking around here naked."

"For fuck's sake Jooheon, you caught me one time and I promised never again. And it was in our room for god's sake, not out in fucking public. Let it go, man."

"Back on track, I say you show her your abs. That should get her hot and bothered. Works for all the football players here at least." Minhyuk nods his head as he speaks as if agreeing with himself will somehow make Changkyun more likely to agree.

"And how, pray tell, do I go about this in some semblance of normalcy?"

"Pool party!" Jooheon pipes up, before stopping. "Wait...none of us have a pool."

"But...she does. Her complex has a pool there, and summer is almost here."

"Okay, so here's what you do. You drop random hints about girls in bikinis, lazing outside under the sun with hot girls around him, and eventually just casually ask him about the pool at (Y/N)'s complex. If you do this slowly enough, and we all drop hints randomly together, he'll think it's one hundred percent his idea and he should go for it. The real question is, will she?" Minhyuk is animated as he speaks, lighting up as the plan forms in his seedy little brain.

"She would have rules and provisions for allowing it, but yeah she'd say yes to him. She pretends to acts all tough, but she rarely says no to him. The real question is though, how are showing my abs off really going to win her over?"

"A bit of jealousy my friend. I know some girls who've been interested in you. We invite them, we watch them latch onto you like the harlots they so desperately want to be with you, and ignite the secret yearning in (Y/N)'s heart for this forbidden love." Minhyuk adds on an evil cackle at the end, stopping only when a cough takes over.

"This seems all very...I don't know, cliche and high school if you ask me. I mean, no offense to your plan I just don't think that her seeing my abs and other chicks are going to make her magically say 'ah yes this is a man I can see myself seriously dating and possibly spending my life with.' I appreciate the effort though."

"No, no Minhyuk has a point. And let's say it doesn't go as planned, at least we all get a pool party out of it. I promise if you're right and we're wrong we'll help you hatch a different plan of attack. But for now, let's at least see how this goes. On an unrelated note, I'm starving. Do you guys want to go grab some pizza?"

------------

A month and a half later and Changkyun is sipping a beer from a plastic cup (no glass allowed near the pool as per lease terms and your strict warnings) as he takes in the sight before him. The first half of the plan went swimmingly (pun intended), but the latter half Changkyun still isn't so sure about. You barely even glanced at him before running back up to your apartment to grab some ice. Oh well, if it all goes to shit at least he gets to see you in a bikini again. He's been needing to update his internal spank bank material if he's honest. His sights still linger on your door, waiting for you to come back out when Hyungwon floats over to the edge where Changkyun has his feet dipped in.

"Dude, what's the point of being at a pool party if you aren't even going to talk to babes or get in the pool?"

"I'm enjoying my drink without dealing with the taste of chlorine mixing into it, and I'm not here for the babes." Changkyun is here for one babe, one babe currently avoiding him. Plan ABduction (named by Minhyuk) is so far failing spectacularly. What's the point of showing off his newer more manly physique if you aren't even here to ogle him like a magnificent slab of meat before ravaging him?

"Now that's just not fair. Seulgi and Joy have been staring at you the entire time and you haven't even taken the hint. If you aren't going to get them then I will. You know they're in like an open relationship or whatever? I'm just saying, I feel like a threesome is on the tables with them. I've heard-"

"Dude, they aren't just objects to be passed around. They're real human beings. I mean listen, if they're down then that's between you and them as three consenting adults. But you've been hanging out with way too many frat fuckers if you think that you can just talk about women as if they can be passed around to the highest bidder. Stop letting your dick talk, no one wants to hear it speak."

"Woah, calm down you know I didn't...no I guess you're right. I didn't think about how that would come out. Maybe I should lay off the drinks. And the frat parties." Hyungwon floats in the other direction after that, leaving Changkyun to his solo bliss.

It's a small party, per your rules. There are about 12 people total including Changkyun and you. Not surprisingly, Hyungwon invited mostly girls (who weren't friends with his currently off on again off again girlfriend Lisa), along with Jooheon and Minhyuk. Everyone else has been congregating by the more shallow end of the pool, drunkenly trying to play cards against humanity without getting the cards wet. He's pulled out of his thoughts by the sight of your feet dipping next to his.

"I heard what you said to Hyungwon. Thanks for not letting his head get too far up his own ass. I don't think I give you enough credit for keeping him somewhat normal. Well, as normal as frog boy can be."

"I don't think we can call him normal, I mean you can't even call me normal. I just try to keep him...safe for public consumption. He's just going through that college freedom insanity phase still. He'll get over it eventually."

"Oh, I remember those days."

"You? I can't see you as ever flying off the handles noona."

"Oh but I did. You've got to remember, Hyungwon and I grew up in a pretty conservative home. My freshman year of college was a blur of parties, random hookups, and various substances smattered between cramming and making sure my grades didn't drop. Unlike Hyungwon, I made sure I was never on the verge of failing a class and having to explain that to my parents. I wanted to look like a model student to keep them off my asses. And it worked. Until I realized that I wasn't actually having fun and the parties and hookups felt empty and I started settling back down. I've got to say though, I didn't take you for the more level headed of the two. Hyungwon was always so uptight I figured you'd be the free spirit and he'd be the anchor."

"I mean, I wouldn't say I'm entirely level headed, I just think things through more than him right now. Most of the time, that is." There's a pause after he looks at you. It's breathtaking, the way your profile glows under the setting sun, a small coy smile lighting up your face.

"I have to ask, why aren't you talking to those girls? They've been stealing glances at you the entire time and they don't look all too pleased with me right now. They're pretty girls you know."

"Sure, they're very pretty. But they aren't you. It's as simple as that." Changkyun watches a blush creep onto your cheeks as you quickly look away and clear your throat. Now that's a response he was hoping for but not expecting. Perhaps Minhyuk's plan hasn't entirely gone to shit.

"Well, that was rather matter of fact of you."

"You're cute when you blush."

"I'm going to choke you if you don't stop."

"I'm into that. I mean I usually prefer to be the one giving, but I think I'd be into anything with you." The look in your eyes threaten a possible painful death for him, but the way you've turned beet red tells him that his words affect you. That's got to be a good sign. Right?

"You weren't kidding when you said you were stubborn and weren't going to give up. That I can tell. I think I'm just still iffy on the why. I mean, what exactly is it about me?"

"There are too many reasons to count. I think I knew you were the one when you said that pokemon yellow was superior because it showed you the emotions of Pikachu but the pitfall of the game was that you couldn't see all of their emotions and it was limited to just Pikachu."

"That's...absurd. How in the fuck do you even remember that?"

"I don't know, but I can tell you that love is absolutely absurd and convoluted and I've stopped trying to fight it or understand it. For the longest time, I tried to get over you, mainly because everyone had decided that you and Shochu-"

"-Shownu?"

"Yeah, sure, him. Everyone figured the two of you were going to get married and pop out babies and be the town's most beautiful couple or whatever. The point is, I figured that I had lost my chance and it was time to tuck tail before even trying. But then you guys broke up. And then you moved away, and I thought well maybe now I'll get over it. Except, the funny thing or infuriating depending on how you look at it is I couldn't get you out of my fucking head. The way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you have to reason absolutely everything, but most importantly the way that you see five steps ahead almost every time and somehow you see things how I see them when no one else does. Except for probably right now guessing by the look on your face. Do you finally get that-" He's cut off by the sensation of your lips pressing firmly to his own. It's not like the first time you kissed him, where it started off unsure and soft, no this one radiates the confidence he's always admired in you. The take no prisoners attitude of yours. And boy oh boy if he isn't melting like a high school girl hearing a 'sup' from her crush.

He can feel his soul depart from his body for just a moment before blood threatens to rush to his dick in a very public place with only a flimsy pair of swim trunks to shield him. As much as Changkyun would like to pull you closer and turn this into a makeout session, he's pretty sure that popping a boner is against your pool rules. So instead, he quickly pushes himself into the pool at around the same time he realizes the others are whistling and hollering while Hyungwon lets out a wail of sheer disgust. Oh well, you can't win them all.

He almost expects you to run away again, but this time you're just smiling. As if all is well in this shit hole of a world and as if you're actually happy to kiss him. Oh my god, you really are happy that you kissed him. Sweet mother of fuck, he could die right now and he'd be okay with that. "Wow. That was...wow." He ignores the finally dying out enthusiasm around him, instead just trying to focus on taking in your visage.

"Fantastic description, you really are such a wonderful poet."

"Are you ever not sarcastic?"

"Are you?"

"That's valid." He pauses at the sound of your laughter, that familiar dying seel noise making his heart thud against his ribcage and sets a frenzy of butterflies loose in his gut. When you finally stop he can't help but ask, "So why did you kiss me? I mean, don't get me wrong it was a solid 10 out of 10, would most certainly do it again. But I mean...now I'm the one who's iffy."

"Truth be told, I've been thinking about it a lot. Probably longer than you would think, as in before the first time I kissed you. You're not exactly bad looking if you haven't noticed. And while your personality is rather questionable it's questionable in all the right ways. Most of the time that is. But as you know, I'm a chronic overthinker. And I just figured I'd look like a cradle robber, or worse, a cougar on the prowl. I figured that you weren't super serious about it, and I'm just past that age of just fucking for the sake of fucking and I would especially never cross that weird boundary with someone I'm so close to. I know I say you're Hyungwon's friend because you are, but you're just as much my friend too. And that makes it kind of scary. A little too vulnerable for my normal liking, you know? But after your third confession, I realized that you couldn't still be trying this hard just to simply get in my pants. Third time's the charm I guess."

"So where exactly does that place us now? I'll leave that one hundred percent in your court, but I'm not opposed to a shotgun wedding."

"I'd have to be pregnant for it to be a shotgun wedding you absolute dork."

"I'm not opposed to that. Just picture us, lots of little hellions running around as we have exhausted five-minute quickies during their short-lived naps. Living the dream."

"That sounds absolutely terrible and I'm going to have to pass on that nightmare. I figured we could start off like normal human beings, you know, dating? As in actually going out and being boyfriend and girlfriend and not rushing into a Las Vegas wedding with fat Elvis as our officiate."

"I'll agree, but I'd like to negotiate on fat Elvis at a later date please."

"Deal."

"Did you dorks just enter into like a dating contract or something?" Minhyuk swims over to them, trying to rapidly flee when you start splashing water at his face. "Woah, woah watch the money maker there miss. I am the mastermind behind all of this, I expect to be the best man!"

"Ignore him, he's an idiot." Changkyun glares at Minhyuk before turning back to you. He kind of wants to squeal, he's that happy. He had never thought about the possibility of you having actually already liked him. You having a near panic attack after the first time you kissed him kind of killed all of those illusions of grandeur. "Noona, can I take you out on a date right now?"

"And leave these dumbasses to burn down my apartment and get me evicted, ruin my nearly perfect credit score, and leave me homeless? I think not. How about tomorrow?"

"Tonight?"

"It's already six. God clearly did not bless you with patience as you've so boldly claimed to me before."

"I'm not going to pretend to be patient when I have this opportunity right in front of me. So we'll tell them all to get their asses home at eight. Do you really want to stick around them for that much longer? I mean, they're already trashed." He watches you squint at the college kids splashing around, loudly giggling as incoherent babbles slur out of one person after the next.

"You make a strong argument. Alright, fine. Eight o'clock it is. But you get to tell everyone that they have to wrap it up, I refuse to be the bearer of bad news to them."

"OY FUCKERS!" Changkyun watches as almost everyone slowly glances over at him with glazed over eyes and alcohol-induced smiles. "You've gotta get your asses out of here by 8!"

"FINE MOM." Jooheon hollers back before they all return to their still ongoing game of cards against humanity. He's pretty sure half of the deck has sunken to the bottom of the pool at this point.

"Well, that was easy. As much as I'd love to stay for you to herd the flock back to safety later, I've got to go set up for our date. I'll pick you up." Before he pulls himself out of the pool, however, he makes sure to swim up to you and pull you in for another deep kiss. God, your lips just feel so right. So perfect. Like he's finally found his home and he never wants to leave. If he's honest he wants to do this date so quickly just to prove that all of this is real. He didn't expect you to respond to him in earnest so quickly, and now he feels both a sense of extreme exhilaration and joy coupled with looming anxiety that if he doesn't actually take you out on a date soon he'll wake up and find out that this was all an elaborate dream. Or worse, a prank.

------------------

It's currently just a few minutes past eight and Changkyun is sitting uncomfortably straight on your couch as he waits for you to finish changing. He can't remember the last time he was this nervous for a date. Middle school dance perhaps? Shit, his palms are even sweaty now. He wipes them on his jeans and takes a moment to stare at his reflection. He doesn't look too shabby. The leather jacket, beanie, black t-shirt, and fitted ripped black skinnies are a classic look. You can't go wrong with that, right? Oh god, what if you wanted him to look classy? Does this look too much like a college kid? No...no this is fine. It kind of has to be, you've already seen him. You didn't comment much though. Shit.

In the midst of his self deprecating anxiety riddled thoughts running rampant, he sees you step into the living room. You're wearing a simple white sundress and sandals, but there's something about it that drives those obnoxious butterflies wild in his stomach. Maybe it's just you. He swears you could wear a potato sack and he'd still think that you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. It's not fair how little you have to do to captivate him while he's worried about simple things like if his t-shirt is too casual to impress you.

"Are you ready to go? I'm surprised with how impatient you were to get on with this date that you weren't hollering at me to hurry up while I changed."

"We have all the time in the world tonight. And I'm glad I didn't rush you because you look...stunning."

"Well, I hope I'm dressed okay for whatever you have planned. You still aren't going to tell me where we're going are we?"

"Now who's the impatient one?" Changkyun can't help but smile at the way you roll your eyes before linking hands with him. Christ, you're really going to be the death of him. He still can't believe this is happening. He might have been the one who rushed into this date, but his brain still can't wrap around the fact that you've now kissed him twice and asked him out. Over the moon doesn't even begin to describe his enthusiasm. "No, I'd rather not spoil the surprise."

----------

It isn't long before Changkyun is pulling up to a secluded back entrance to a lake. You had once brought Hyungwon and him here during a summer visit the summer of your sophomore year. He was attacked by leeches and you had to rummage through your backpack for salt packets you pilfered at fast food places for no apparent reason. But for some reason, he felt that this just had to be the place to take you. That same day you had opened up to him about the gnawing loneliness that had occurred after leaving home, but how you refused to come back with your tail tucked between your legs to be another small town girl who just couldn't make it in a bigger city. It was the first time that you had ever confided in him, the first time that he had seen the infallible you seem so scared and lost. It had started a shift in your friendship, you had trusted in him at that moment with something you hadn't shared with anyone else.

"I can't believe you actually remember this place. I feel I should warn you, I don't carry pilfered salt packets around with me anymore so taking a dip in the lake probably isn't the best idea."

"Are you kidding me? I'd rather try to tame a wolf than enter that godforsaken water ever again."

"Taming a wolf sounds badass."

"See, you get it. Please, tell that to Hyungwon." In just a matter of seconds, he's getting out of the car and jogging around to open up your door before rummaging around in the backseat for his backpack. Unfortunately, or possibly fortunately for you, he doesn't have a kitchen to even try to make some sort of picnic evening meal from scratch. Instead, he's spent his time zipping around the grocery store for easy enough things like premade and overpriced salads, a bottle of grey goose (he'd rather not spend that much on alcohol, but he knows that you're a staunch advocate for top-shelf liquor), and a bottle of lemonade. He grabs the blanket from the back and leads the way to a small clearing before setting everything up.

"I can't help but wonder how long you've had this date actually planned. This seems like a lot for something so last minute."

"Does it? Well I mean, I guess I've kind of had this idea running around my head for a while. I kept hoping that you'd ask me to actually prove myself and take you out on a date and bam I could surprise you with a moonlit dinner by the lake that would be so beautiful and thoughtful you'd go 'oh Changkyun you're so sweet' and fall madly in love with me. But I'm not going to pretend I'm not ecstatic about the way how everything worked out in the end."

He watches you take a sip of the drink he pours for you, the way you gaze at him so intently before slipping into a comfortable silence as you take in your surroundings. It isn't until he's handed you your salad that you finally speak up. "You know...this lake holds a very important memory for me." You take a long pause, glancing over at him before continuing. "God, how long ago was it that I took you guys here? Four years ago? No. Shit, it had to have been about six years ago now, almost seven. I was going through this really rough patch. When you're a kid you think you have everything all figured out and then life hits you repeatedly in the face until you realize that you actually don't know shit. But just like you, I'm a rather stubborn person. I tried so hard to look like I was doing well when you guys came out to visit me for summer, tried to pretend like I wasn't emotionally falling apart at the seams. But I knew you could see past that facade. You've always been eerily observant of those around you, even if it looks like you're completely oblivious. But you didn't say anything, you just played along with my act of complete happiness at being miles away from everything I've ever known. Isolated and struggling to find decent friends. Until we got to this lake, and you finally asked me why I looked so hollow when I smiled when I was in the middle of pouring salt on those disgusting leeches. You wouldn't let me play it off. You said that it wasn't healthy to keep it all bottled in and for the first time in a long time I came clean. And I realized something then. Not only were you wise beyond your years, but I had always relied on you more than I had realized. You were always around to listen to me bitch about boys and parties and my parents. You had always supported me when I said I wanted to get my masters in linguistic anthropology, a very obscure field that everyone figured would amount to nothing."

You take another long pause, taking a few bites of food and sipping on your drink before looking straight at him. It's the look of analysis, that look that says you can see right through him and into his soul. Almost as if you've found a way to dive into someone's psyche and rummage around all of their thoughts. "It wasn't until a couple of years later that I understood the full weight of this realization. I figured you were just my closest friend. An ally in the midst of an internal battle, if you will. But then one night I was having an argument with Kihyun and I told him that he wasn't supportive the way you were. which is a really fucking weird thing to say to your boyfriend, you know? He was quick to point that out to me, and then he said that he didn't want to be my second choice. I think I fell in love with you at this lake, and I was just too arrogant to realize it. I'm sorry that I'm a bit of a mess. And that I keep kissing you without properly explaining or resolving things. I can't tell you how long I've wanted to tell you all of this. It feels nice to finally come clean. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I love you Changkyun. I love you for you. For all the weird things you do. For being there for me when no one else was. For just simply existing. For being my number one supporter. For working so hard all these years to keep up with me when really you've always been ahead in your own ways. I love the way you look at me, the way you make me feel like everything is good and pure and safe when I'm around you. I love that I can just be myself around you and how you don't hold back when you're around me. I love you."

"Holy shit." He expects to hear another quip about his failure of eloquent words but instead, you just laugh. Never in a million years would he have guessed that his unrequited love had been reciprocated for so long. To be fair, the two of you have tangled yourselves in rather complicated webs. It would be nice if life could be so straight forward in a way that the two of you could have just said all of this years ago, but neither of you are the same people now as you were back then. You've both grown, changed. He knows that he would've felt too unsure of himself, that the relationship would have been doomed to failure had you actually been honest back then because he really was too young. A bit too inept to keep up with you, a bit too insecure to have been able to confidently be by your side. But now? Now all he can think of is how much he wants to grow with you, for you, for himself. But his brain isn't allowing him to just get the damn words out.

After what feels like an eternity he finally manages to croak out, "I've been in love with you for so long that it's surreal hearing that you've felt the same way. I've dreamt of this moment you know? And I'm a little disappointed that a rainbow isn't shooting out of the night sky with a leprechaun showering us in gold because it feels like that damn magical. It just feels all...I don't know rather anticlimactic I guess, but I don't mean that in a bad way. Because this is real. It's not some romanticized fantasy. It feels natural and right and real, and holy shit do I really want to kiss you. Can I? Kiss you that is?"

He watches the way you tilt your head back and laugh before pulling in closer to him, a smile on your lips as you cock an eyebrow up and say, "I think that sounds perfect right about now." That's all he needs to hear before he places one hand on the back of your head and drags you into a slow kiss.

Every time he's kissed you it's been different. The first time was unsure, then heated, and then finally very cold. A microwave meal kiss seems an apt description to him. The second time, earlier today, that one was a declaration. It was bold. Firm. A statement. That you weren't holding back. That you wanted him. But this one is slower, more sensual. There's something lingering just underneath the surface, the sexual tension that's been building for years is trying to crash through the tidal waves of emotions. This time the two of you are confirming all the unsaid things. All the time it's taken to grow. All the time it's taken to reach this point where you could be honest. And happy. And in love. A budding love, sure. But it's mutual.

It's when he slips his tongue into your mouth that the sexual tension finally breaks through. The soft groan from your throat reverberates through his body, lighting a hunger in him as his hands quickly pull you into his lap. You respond in kind, your hands quick to roam under his shirt and across the firm planes of his abs. Perhaps Minhyuk was right. Abs are indeed a golden ticket. Not that Changkyun will ever tell him that. His hands grip tightly at your hips as he places open-mouthed kisses along your neck before stopping at the top of your breasts before you pull back to take off your dress before tugging his shirt over his head.

"I'm not usually a first date kind of gal. Not that there's a problem with that, but I have trust issues I guess. What I'm trying to say is I want you. I really want you, I don't care where we are or that this is really rushing into things, but so help me god if I don't fuck you soon Changkyun I might combust."

"Spontaneous combustion is one of my favorite myths but I'd really rather not witness that before I get to finally feel you. Shit, I want to be inside you so bad. Do you know how many times I've jerked off to the thought of you?"

"Many a tube sock ruined in high school, I can imagine. I pray that you did your own laundry."

"Of course I did! God, there is no way in hell I'd make my poor mom go through that. Puberty is awkward enough without having to explain jizz stains to your mom." His hips thrust up instinctively when you palm his already prominent erection through his pants. Good god, he prays that he doesn't nut too fast.

"Very true but you know what I'd like? For you to stop waxing poetic about the past and fuck me right now." He can feel all air leave his lungs when you pull him into another kiss before unzipping his pants and pulling his erection free. "If you want to, that is."

"Noona, I really want to fuck you. I want to, holy shit, hear you scream my name. I want to watch you cum on my cock...fuck...probably more than I want to do anything else in life." He struggles with his words when he sees your fingers wrap around his dick and slowly pump him. The way you maintain eye contact with a coy smile only has his insides boiling over. Shit, he figured you'd be the type to take the lead but it's a whole other world experiencing it than fantasizing about it. It's almost like you've put him in a trance. As if the outside world doesn't matter right now. Who cares that his dick's right out there for the world to see in front of a public lake at night, or that the two of you have barely just confessed your love and should technically be enjoying this picnic he's put together when you're looking at him like that? Certainly not him. No, all that matters right now is that he wants to feel you. Taste you. Hear your moans. And the feeling is clearly very mutual.

When you finally detract your hand to take your bra and underwear off he's both relieved and more excited than before. Holy shit, this is really happening. He's only temporarily dissatisfied that you undress so quickly, his thoughts quickly shifting when you straddle his lap and guide his hands to your core. You're already dripping wet, and even the softest flick of his thumb on your clit has you sighing contentedly into his neck. It's a bit difficult at this angle, but he's determined to hear those sighs turn into moans. He works one finger into you slowly, slipping in a second after a moment. When you arch your back and grind down he moves his thumb in slow circles around your swollen clit before speeding up at the sound of your quiet command, "faster."

It isn't long before sighs turn into mewls and then turn into moans that you muffle in the crook of his neck. "Like that, fuck, right there." He can feel his dick twitch at the lack of attention, but he doesn't care. All he wants right now is to see you climax, feel you cum on his fingers. When you do he feels you tighten, hears you cry out a loud "fuck" into his shoulder before biting down. It's magical. Fuck the leprechaun, this is the real pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. He slows down when you go limp against him, breathing raggedly before smiling up at him with a dazed expression. Christ, he wants you. "Can I...can I fuck you now or...do you need a moment?"

"I mean...I could give you some head if you want."

"Yes, no, I mean. Yes, head sounds great, but no not right now. I'm about five minutes away from blowing my load, not going to lie."

"I can work with that." You take a moment to adjust before gripping his dick in your hand. "Lay back, that'll make this easier."

"Yes, ma'am." You roll your eyes when he salutes you, but you respond only by sinking onto him. You move so slowly he's afraid he'll die at this rate. It's as delicious as it is torturous, the way he feels you adjust and stretch around him as you slowly guide yourself further down his cock. He could die right now a happy man. He's had sex, but this. This is different. Better. It's fantastic, perfect, his own slice of heaven. And maybe that's why when you've taken all of him and moan softly before rolling his hips he blurts out, "I love you." Because he does. He loves you with every fiber of his being, and he doesn't want you to think that all he thinks about is sex. He sort of does, but that's not what this is about. This is more than that. this is more than sex even. It's not a random hookup, or a random girlfriend to pass the time with. No, this is you. And that makes everything different. Like he's floating on cloud nine. Like he's finally found the secret to life buried somewhere deep in your pussy.

When you roll your hips again and position his hands over your breasts you pause to respond for a moment, "I love you too." It's simple, a matter of fact. And it brings emotions rolling into it. For a moment neither of you moves. The two of you just basking in the profundity in the realization that this means something more. That the two of you are finally more. Your lips come crashing down onto his, a hunger chasing at the two of you as his hips rut in tandem each time you roll.

"Shit, shit, I'm not going to last long. I'm so sorry. I promise I'm normally not, fuck!" He stops functioning when your hands grip his balls.

"It's okay, I already came earlier. Let go, Changkyun." It only takes you grinding down on him once, twice, three more times before he's spilling inside you. His orgasm hits him with a force he's not used to. A loud groan leaves him before he pants out your name, goosebumps rising up on his flesh as his hands move to quickly grip your hips closer to him.

"Fuck, fuck. Holy fuck, Noona." He loves the way you laugh, squeezing around his rapidly softening dick before peppering kisses around his face. And even though he's limp and sliding out of you and smearing cum all over your thighs and his jeans neither of you care. The two of you just bask in soft stolen kisses, quiet declarations of love and adoration, and bouts of giggles. He isn't sure how long the two of you stay like that. It might have been just a few minutes or an hour. It's easy to lose track of time when he's with you. But when the two of you do finally break away to get dressed it's more because of the chill in the air than anything else. As you pack up your long forgotten salads he grabs your hand and pulls you into another kiss. He's always wanted to be able to do that. Just hold hands with you. Kiss you. Be by your side. In a way, somehow, that's even better than the fact that he finally got to sleep with you. But he's pretty sure that would sound lame so instead, he says, "Noona, I really love you. And I don't know where life is going to take us, but I do know I want it to be with you. I mean, I know that sounds dumb and serious considering that we technically only started dating, and I'm totally rushing into things but-"

"Changkyun. It's okay. You don't sound dumb. I'm glad you're telling me all of this because I really love you too. And I'm really glad that I can finally say that. So please, stop thinking so damn much."

"We both know that's never going to happen. We're both chronic overthinkers. But...I am really happy."

"Good. We have a lot to talk about, and think about. But right now I'm freezing my ass off, so how about you spend the night with me and we can cuddle in my warm cozy bed and think about all the possibilities life has in store for us there?"

"That sounds perfect. Hey, how soon do you think we should tell our parents?"

"Oh my god, you complete and utter dork. Save it for the warm bed, please."

-------------------

That night the two of you did, indeed, cuddle and wax philosophical for hours although that was sometime between showering and going for a round two. That day was the start of many moments with you. There were, of course, hiccups in it all, but it always ended up working out. He learns that love is constantly evolving and changing. The love that he held for you that night doesn't remain. It grows into something much more than any daydream could have ever seen for the two of you. Sometime's it's softer, especially on nights that the two of you lay in bed and just comfort each other after hard days. Sometimes it's a bit smug, like the time the two of you go home for Christmas and run into Shownu or the times you run into his previous flings. Sometimes it's a passionate frenzy. Sometime's it a bit haggard, especially on the nights that follow one particular passionate frenzy that results in your daughter who doesn't know how to sleep through the goddamn night until she's four. But the core concept that is love, the fact that the two of you want each other and want to face the world together? Well, that never changes. If anything, it grows stronger. Although, he still refused to admit even decades later that Minhyuk had a helping hand in sparking the moment that would start everything.

#changkyun fanfic #changkyun smut #changkyun fanfiction #monsta x fanfic #monsta x reader insert #changkyun reader insert #Monsta x fanfiction

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faunusrights · 5 years

Text

‘AFTER THE FALL’ - LIVEREAD II

Part I (prologue to chapter three) here!

According to other people reading this alongside me, I have yet to even see the true extent of how, um... interesting some of the characterisations are? So, we can only do one thing: keep reading, even though I’m relatively sure the corpse of a sizeable moth was batted onto my copy :I

We’ve reached chapter three, and only now do I realise what a considerable chunk of the book that is? Blimey.

CHAPTER THREE

/gets six lines in /shuts the book

Look, I said I wasn’t gonna say it because we know I hate it but ughghghgh I hate canon Velvet soooooo muuuuuuuuuuch she’s SO boring I’m SO sorry but GOD--

Okay. Okay. Moving on. Yatsu is our narrator now so let’s hear how he sounds!

“Ash started crying and crying and crying--”

I know it’s inevitable that most names I picked for OCs will crop up elsewhere but... Ash? You tryna take Ash “Bottom Energy” Scarlatina away from me now? Can’t I have anything?

So, it was mentioned that apparently a recurring thing I’ll be seeing in this novel is Yatsu and Velvet being hitched together on the character development front, and honestly, I can see it happening here. They’re being made into one sort of unit and Yatsu keeps calling attention to that, which isn’t... great, ‘cause I’m kinda hoping we’ll see more individual development? But the current consensus is that It Ain’t Happening, so we’ll See, I Guess,

Okay, I love that Velvet makes spreadsheets on her Scroll. I deeply enjoy her making chats to keep track of stuff, because honestly what a mood that is.

‘Yatsuhashi whirled around in confusion, but Velvet was gone. He didn’t like losing sight of her; what kind of trouble was she getting up to now?’

Predictably, I don’t like Velvet being babies in any sense of the word, but I do like that Yatsu’s first worry is what trouble can she possibly fucking cause now? Velvet and her high chaos energy, whomst I Adore,

Also what the fuck is a breadfruit.

‘Professor Greene’s Stealth and Security class--’

UGH I wish we knew more about the classes they took in Beacon. Do you know how hard it is to write an AU in which the Fall of Beacon never happened and having to pull classes outta your ass? It’s HARD, Y’ALL,

Yatsu’s Semblance is... making people forget things? That’s. Weird but alright??? Sure??? Whatever???

Me, every time Velvet snaps: why is it I only get the Velvet I’m after when she’s being such a bi-- oh wait I have a type sorry continue as you were,

But actually God I miss chibi!Velvet pour one out for the cancellation y’all

“This is bad,” Yatsu said sadly.

Me to myself: I know it’s not good writing I know and you know but don’t say anything just move on--

Okay before I move on, I’m definitely seeing a lot of that Yatsu/Velvet hitching, and makes me Nervous because I love Yatsu and I love Velvet but I also love them separately so I’m holding out hope that they get split up at Some Point because they really have been written together pretty much the whole way, huh?

CHAPTER FOUR

OKAY CHAPTER FOUR LET’S GO LET’S GO

It’s Fox time, and we’ve got an introduction to Copper, Fox’s mentor (someone mentioned it’s totally a 'The Fox and The Hound’ reference). And-- ah, he’s dead. That was quick.

‘Velvet sometimes let her feelings get the best of her, Fox thought.’

You think that’s bad? You should meet murpverse!Velvet, that bitch has never held a thought in her head for more than five seconds.

I’ll confess I’m now reading pretty far ahead before I have any commentary of note. I’m enjoying Fox’s narration far more than anyone else’s by a pretty considerable margin, and it’s probably ‘cause Fox -- despite saying literally nothing in canon -- saw a lot of people reach the same conclusion to his character? So this one is much easier to settle into. Also, maybe it’s ‘cause he was such a blank slate that the writing works better for him. I dunno.

Story-wise: Edward is-- okay, actually, side-tangent: Edward? We seem to really jump in and out of the colour scheme, huh? Anyway, Edward’s a shady mfer and LET VELVET DO SHIT ON HER OWN!!!!!! LET HER BE A DUMBASS OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!

‘That was the last time he;s underestimate [Velvet].’

Told ya, dipshitte.

Ooh, everyone’s Angery about Everything. Seems like the Mood Bombs are also more passively AOE than just being a Sudden Boom, because everyone’s got a MUCH shorter temper? Then again, mine would be Non-Existent in a desert to begin with, so maybe they’ve all got sand up their butts. Also, Gus is to blame for the Mood Bombs anyway! That’s a big F, kiddo.

CHAPTER FIVE

Flashback to the dance!

Awh, Ruby made her own outfit and cape. Li’l seamstress! Oh, dang, do you think Summer taught her? Or, at least, showed her how her cape was made? Aaaaa--

Lien remains... weird. I thought it’d be closer to a currency rate like Yen to the dollar (so thousands are worth much less), but the implication here is that twenty Lien is more like $20? The currency here is very weird and even I’m at fault for flip-flopping on it, but I honestly expected it to be more like Yen. Huh.

Coco likes Ruby’s outfit look at that senpai GO.

Oh, okay, so they met at the dance? For some reason, I thought they’d already been acquainted? I thought they mentioned that team CFVY were away in the show (and therefore knew them at least in passing) but apparently not.

Okay, so Coco’s dialogue is... weird? I’m not totally down for the voice the author’s chosen to give her, and the more I see of it the more I’m starting to notice it. That said, I can’t believe Coco has reeled off Ozpin’s whole speech for Ruby. I’d have forgotten three words in.

Still jumping back and forth on Coco’s dialogue. I’m not sure if I like it. Moving on.

Weiss is Big Bitch Supreme, I see. This flashback is striking me all wrong for some reason, but I cannot for my life of me say why.That said, Weiss unironically saying besties is the funniest thing I’ve read all week, so there’s that.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHH TIME FOR VELVET AND RACISM UGHGHHGHGHHHHGHGH IM GONNA GO GET LUNCH FIRST--

WAIT BLAKE’S THERE

WAIT NO I’M GETTING FOOD FIRST EVEN IF BLACK VELVET IS RIGHT THERE--

Okay I ate too many calories and walked my dog let’s do this before I have to take said dog to the groomer. On that note, I’m like halfway through the book already? This really is short as heck.

“You had something to say to me?” Velvet asked. The boy clamped his mouth shut.

Do ya? Bihh.

Also I LOVE that highlights from the initiation are playing so that Blake literally looks a thousand times more intimidating. I wish we’d seen more of that kinda thing in the show, with RWBY being the new hotshots and the dynamic they had with Beacon as a whole. But that would have involved not blowing Beacon up to fuck and then having the writers go ‘uh, what do we do now?’ so what the hell do I know.

OOUGH THIS BLACK VELVET,,, HHH,,,, MURPHY’S OTP IS HERE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

“What should we do with him?” [Blake] looked at Velvet.

Kill him... and then... kiss....................................

“I don’t believe in fighting prejudice with violence,” Velvet said.

I wish y’all could have heard the sound I made at that. Canon Velvet you’re just so... soggy bread about this.

Blake shook her head. “that’s not how we deal with people like him where I come from.”

Blake yr so HOT... hey you should teach Velvet how you deal with people like him and then kiss. That said, are they talking about Menagerie there? Or the Fang? If it’s Menagerie, that’s even funnier because I love the idea of an idiot running their mouth and then having five families and a baby wail on them.

Blake hates dog-ears in their books. Bad news, asshole, it’s the BEST way to mark PAGES bookmarks are for the UPPER CLASSES who don’t realise BOOKS are TOOLS of EDUCATION--

Anyway. Moving on-- YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG.

Yang beat the assholes up anyway I love her!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER!!!!!!!!!

CHAPTER SIX

Back with Velvet. Blessing or curse? Who knows.

Edward and Gus make for an. Interesting duo. This plot hasn’t captured my interest crazy well, and if I didn’t know this was RWBY and such I’d probably pass on it ‘cause it’s pretty... eh, but I do like their Semblances and this could’ve been a pretty decent side-plot thing in the show! Such as in My Hero Academia with, uh, whats-his-name... Eraserhead. I dunno. I’m thinking this was a good idea that hasn’t had enough space to breathe.

Emotions are Flying High and Whomst will be the first to crack like Egg? I am liking the method of raising tempers because everything’s a little sloppier and unpredictable! Also, that’s the end of chapter si-- what? Wait, chapter six was only ten pages? Yeesh.

For all in-tents and porpoises, I am tryna keep track of OOC moments, but having everyone be out-of-sorts is making is pretty hard to track. Rip.

CHAPTER SEVEN, I GUESS?

We’re with Yatsu again, and he’s talking about his Semblance to... make people forget shit! I still don’t know why this is his Semblance, or the use of it anyway, but whatever! I’m in this cart and the horse ain’t stopping until M+K says so!

I’m with Velvet here; why is she constantly being relegated to the backseat? Coco needs to fuckin’ get her shitte together on this front. Even Fox said earlier than he has to stop underestimating her, but they’re still doing it now.

OH MY GOD THERE’S A GRIMM JACKALOPE??? Holy shit I’m losing all of my marbles shouldn’t these guys have, like, other names????????????? No??? Okay!!!!

Battle scene. I’m not hot on combat in writing because I find it. Kinda boring. But it is what it is so I’m speed-running it.

And so ends chapter seven. I’m gonna stop here because. I want to! I feel like this story is very short and it could’ve already had more to it than this faffery in the desert, but that’s just me!!!!!! I guess!!!!!!!!!!! Next time: another flashback to the goddamn dance.

#after the fall #after the fall spoilers #rwby #liveblog #liveread

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letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 5 years

Text

Flynn and the ‘Murder Castle’

Or,

Once Again Flynn is Not a Villain (He’s Just Trash)

So, I was ranting at a friend the other night, as one does, and in the middle of this I suddenly remembered something about H.H. Holmes.

Yes, that H.H. Holmes.

See, I was actually going to be a historian once upon a time (le gasp) and one of the things that I did was I was a morbid little fucker and I just about devoured any biography or info on historical psychos that I could get my hands on.

I’d like to note, for the sake of people worrying for my sanity, that I also studied Ancient Egypt, the Vikings, and the American Revolution, just to name a few interests so I wasn’t entirely a budding psychopath but anyway. Blame my aunt and uncle for gifting me Horrible Histories when I was eight.

So when I was eleven (yes you read that right) I got my hands on my grandmother’s copy of Devil in the White City and proceeded to do a fuck ton of research on H.H. Holmes. And in my idiocy, something I completely forgot about all my research until just the other day was that H.H. Holmes wasn’t known as an indiscriminate murderer.

Later reports have greatly exaggerated how many people he murdered, saying he killed up to 200 people, but the original body count and the one that we can for certain verify is about 20 some-odd people. And of his many victims, the overwhelming majority of them were young women.

Holmes did in fact construct his hotel, that has come to be known as the Murder Castle, and he did murder a few guests in there. Easy enough during the shockingly busy Chicago World’s Fair. However, Holmes did not prefer to kill people this way.

What Holmes did was he was a real charmer (described as handsome with bright blue eyes) who would seduce lonely women who came to stay at the hotel for the fair, convince them to marry him (he was married to multiple women at once) and then have them sign huge life insurance policies over to him... then kill them.

This was really easy to do at the time because a) the state of police investigations at the time, don’t think I need to get further into that, b) these women had no relatives nearby and so letters took forever to reach their relatives which meant it took forever to realize they’d stopped writing and c) tons of people went missing during the fair. It was a madhouse in Chicago. Holmes easily and smoothly lied to anyone who came looking for a missing girl, saying she’d gone out to the fair and hadn’t returned, and a lot of the time the victim’s relatives didn’t even know about the marriage until much later. A lot of the women also signed their life insurance policies over not to Holmes but to one of Holmes’ aliases, which sent police chasing after a man who didn’t exist, some other fellow who’d done the vile deed.

The only confirmed male victim of Holmes was his partner in crime Benjamin Pitezel, a man who assisted Holmes in many of his schemes and who Holmes later murdered for the life insurance policy they’d taken out of his life (Holmes also murdered three of the man’s children).

The majority of the people who stayed in the ‘Murder Castle’ stayed without incident and left just fine. In fact the people from whom Holmes bought the property lived long and happy lives. Holmes was a vicious serial killer and I’m not denying that, but unlike how he’s portrayed in 1x11 on Timeless, he didn’t just gas and capture every single guest or even random guests. He specifically preyed upon helpless women, got them to their rooms at the hotel, gassed them, and took them downstairs from there once they’d signed their lives away to him for large sums fo money.

So, where does Flynn come in with that?

Flynn obviously knows about Holmes and is the kind of man who does his research. He knows who the members of Rittenhouse are in Chicago and where and when they’re meeting, for example. The journal can’t tell him everything, so you can bet he uses that as a springboard for his own research. He’s a team leader, an expert at a guerrilla warfare, and a strategist. He’s not going to do anything half-assed even if his plans have a habit of blowing up in his face.

That means Flynn knows what Holmes targets vulnerable young women, usually homely ones who will be easily swayed by flattery (historical fact, Holmes targeted quote ‘plain’ girls). He doesn’t target two men who can fight him back a lot more easily. And he’s not going to just gas two guys for no reason when he has women he can get tens of thousands of dollars of insurance money from. Wyatt and Rufus do not fit Holmes’ profile and are, therefore, presumably safe.

So why does Flynn send Wyatt and Rufus to the Murder Castle?

Because Wyatt and Rufus are going to get there and who are they going to run into?

Family members looking for missing women.

Wyatt and Rufus are good men, and they’re smart enough to smell a rat when there’s a dead one rotting around under the floorboards. Flynn’s plan wasn’t to straight up murder Wyatt and Rufus, it was to distract them by giving them a clear case of Something Rotten and have their hero mode kick in.

In fact, I posit that Flynn wanted Wyatt and Rufus to think that Holmes had Lucy.

Wyatt and Rufus go into the Murder Castle knowing Flynn’s been there. They hear about young women going missing. The name of the hotel pings something in their minds but they don’t know what. They interview family members and learn the women were last seen here.

And it clicks for them--there’s a serial killer in this hotel, and Flynn’s left Lucy there to be his prey!

Cue frantic detective work from our two heroes while Flynn and Lucy have their trash date.

Timeless annoyed the heck of me this episode (and annoyed the heck out of @captainofthefallen when she rewatched it with me because I would not Shut the Fuck Up about the historical inaccuracies and guessed every single plot twist) with Holmes because it’s wildly historically inaccurate. Holmes never pretended to be a victim along with the people he’d trapped, he didn’t hold them in a dungeon and allow them the chance to escape, and he didn’t target men.

Also he had a huge mustache but anyway.

Holmes’ capture of Lucy at the end of the episode and the box he puts her in are the historically accurate part. That’s what he did to victims. Lucy fits his victim profile (although I doubt anyone would be stupid enough to call her ‘plain’ or ‘homely’). Flynn had every reason to believe that Wyatt and Rufus would be relatively safe given Holmes’ M.O. and would instead be wasting their time chasing him down thinking he had Lucy.

And, y’know, ridding the world of a serial killer while they were at it.

This isn’t an example of Flynn setting Wyatt and Rufus up to die horribly. He’s setting them up on a wild goose chase and to get rid of an awful man and it backfires on Flynn when Holmes breaks with his M.O. and decides to gas Wyatt and Rufus and kill them instead. Flynn had no way of knowing Holmes would do that--that’s the downfall of serial killers, they always stick to their pattern even when they should change it up to avoid being caught--and so once again he’s tried to put out a fire with a bucket of water and ends up throwing gasoline on it instead.

Flynn probably figured Wyatt and Rufus would investigate, realize what was going on, go on a frantic chase for Lucy, find Holmes’ lair under the hotel, overpower Holmes, kill or turn him into the police, and search for Lucy only to find she wasn’t there. Risk of danger still but a minimal one, and certainly not the ‘mwahaha they’ve walked right into a trap’ scenario that actually played out.

“But what if Holmes thought Wyatt and Rufus were private investigators or police when they started asking questions!” you cry. Good question. Holmes was in fact questioned by family, private investigators, and police about the missing women. He never killed any of them and instead sent them on their way with false information about where the women had gone next. It was simply too risky to kill a member of law enforcement or someone who had connections with law enforcement, or to kill the family member of a previous victim.

Now, I get that maybe the Timeless writers didn’t care about any of this and wrote the episode the way they did because HIGH STAKES DRAMA, le gasp, but you can’t avoid history in a show about time travel, buckos. And history isn’t going to change to fit your dramatic 50 minute TV episode.

Wyatt and Rufus do not fit the profile for Holmes’ victims, and Holmes did not trap his victims in the way shown in the show. Flynn was a good researcher who would have known this. Ergo, Flynn did not actually set Wyatt and Rufus up to be quickly and horribly murdered, he set them up to go on a wild goose chase after Lucy when she was really safe with Flynn the whole time and he could get on with his business without interruption.

Because Flynn consistently, throughout the show, tries to inconvenience the time team. He ties them up in 1x06, he strands them in 1x07, etc. But he doesn’t actually ever make plans to kill them. It’s the same thing here: his goal is to inconvenience, not kill. It’s just that he put a bit too much faith in the behavior of a literal psychopath and Flynn, honey, really? Peak trash.

One more thing. You might be wondering why Holmes didn’t actually kill every guest who stayed in his hotel.

...because nothing is more obvious than having every or almost every guest in your hotel die and also that’s bad for business. Duh. Holmes was a psycho, not a dumbass.

Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk.

#timeless #garcia flynn #timeless meta #flynn meta #your girl is back on her bullshit #timeless 1x11 #1x11 the world's columbian exposition

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royaljeongin · 6 years

Text

back2u

back2u (one shot)

pairing : taeyong x reader

genre: fluff, rivals!au, (ish) enemies to lovers!au, fake dating!au

word count: 3k words

summary: “i’m always coming back 2 u.” or when taeyong, your enemy and you go through fake dating while trying to not cut each other’s head.

a/n: dramatic twist at the end, it’s been literally a year since ive written so this is rusty.

your heart beat when the teacher announced your name. you got up from your seat to take the corrected exam. you snatched it away from the teacher a bit harshly but you uttered a light sorry before you paid attention to your copy.

your heart dropped when you saw your grade and was worried you couldn’t come first this time. you went back to your seat and the brown-haired boy next to you eagerly asked for your grade.

that was lee taeyong.

from as long as you can remember, you guys were always ennemies. a series of events turned both of you from best friends to enemies and rivals. it was either you or taeyong who ranked 1st. and both of you despised the idea of getting 2nd. he was able to have every girl’s heart at the snap of his fingers (except yours) maybe because of his outrageously good looks or maybe because of his likeable personality. either way, you didn’t see where his hype was coming from.

“i got 99 percent,” you silently muttered trying to not make eye contact.

“haha loser, i got 99.5 percent!” he proudly said with his annoying smirk. you rolled your eyes.

“fuck off!”

“maybe next time, you will be able to beat me, my dear,” he boasted before someone interrupted him. it was again one of the girls.

it’s been weeks since she’s been trying to get closer to taeyong and has been constantly pestering him. you looked at him, his eyes didn’t have the same sparkle as before; clear annoyance showed all over his face.

you then observed her, she was pretty but her whole aura felt off as she was glaring at you for no reason. you usually gave her a ‘are you serious?’ look as you thought she could do better but today, you thought that they were perfect for each other. two assholes always make a good couple.

school ended and you were in the study room like most students. it was past nine now and you were copying your notes you took that day. you heard footsteps approaching and then, the presence of a boy and you looked up.

“what are you doing here?”

“i just want to discuss something,” he declared while taking out the chair beside him to be able to be next to you. “date me.”

you spat your water on him. you were too shocked. in normal situation, he would’ve yelled at you but he really wanted this so he kept his composure.

“asshole! not real, just fake dating is enough.”

“why would i accept?” you questioned.

he said that the girls that were chasing him were annoying and he had enough. he thought that perhaps, having a girl would make them back off and leave him alone.

“what do i gain from this?”

he smirked while crossing his arms and now comfortably seated with his legs crossed. his eyes had fire burning with confidence.

“money.”

you rolled your eyes. he knew you way too well and you hated to admit it, but money was your weakness. you don’t believe that it brings people happiness but you sure knew that many of your problems surrounded around that. it didn’t seem that bad, accepting money from probably the richest boy at your school seemed very appealing.

“come on, i know you are having difficulties right now. i’ll help you with that. i’m only asking you for one month.”

you looked at his trainers, a pair of white sneakers with classic roses embroidered followed by the green and red stripes from gucci. you bit your lips. you weren’t particularly jealous per say, nevertheless you were curious how life would be when you had all of the money of the world.

“you fix my money problems and you buy me shoes. deal?”

he nodded his head. spending a couple thousands dollars for something beneficial wasn’t bothering him.

“sure bye, i’m going home. i already finished studying unlike you.” he playfully stuck his tongue out as he was leaving the room.

you were woken up by the repetitive sound of an alarm. irritated, you quickly reached your phone that was on the nightstand next to you to turn it off. you blinked once or twice before checking the time.

you sighed. today, you were dreading to go to school because of that goddamn oral. even though you practiced more than necessary, you couldn’t help but feel anxious. speaking to a crowd was definitely not your forté.

you finished getting ready as you take out a toasted bread with peanut butter spread on top. you zipped up your coat and carried your backpack. when you got out of the building, the harsh air hit your face.

“you think you’re in some kind of anime?”

you easily recognized this voice.

“fuck off, why are you here stalker.” it was an understatement to say that you were irritated, you liked being left alone in the morning.

“picking my girlfriend up so that we can go to school together dumbass.”

“how do you know where i live?”

“i used to go here all the time come on.”

your heart ached a little bit. he used to be your best friend when you were kids. hell, he was even your first kiss, back in eight grade, but when the whole school knew you were apparently a bad kisser, you hated him ever since. it hurt to admit it, but the moment held a special moment and he was a really good kisser. you wouldn’t have asked for anyone else to be your first kiss.

shocked was an understatement when the majority of your grade saw both of you this morning entering school while holding hands. the rivalry you both had was so legendary that no one would have ever imagined that taeyong and you would be dating.

“so you guys are really a thing now?” asked joohyun, your friend.

you wondered if you should tell the truth but you confirmed that you guys were indeed a thing. joohyun clearly didn’t buy it but you couldn’t explain further as the bell rang. you bid your goodbyes and joined your respective classes.

the red-haired boy was saving you the seat besides him. he really was going for it. you felt obliged to join him. classes started. as you were taking notes, you felt a poke on your shoulder. taeyong was giving you a note.

‘meet me at the bleachers during lunch. -ty’

“people aren’t buying it that we are dating,” you implored trying to start a conversation. he has been looking at you for the past ten minutes and hasn’t yet said anything.

he grinned.

“what kind of stupid idea you have again?”

he finally started speaking. “well there’s a reason why i wanted you at the field’s bleachers. there are always a ton people. guys practicing and girls watching them and hoping that they would get noticed by those douche.”

“as if you aren’t one of those douche,” you muttered under your breath.

“did you say something?” you shook your head in denial. you did not want to argue with him today.

“let’s make it believable then. let me kiss you.”

your eyes widened. it was a sudden proposition and kissing wasn’t part of the whole fake dating scheme.

“are you sure you want to do this?” you asked awkwardly.

“i don’t care.”

you took a deep breath as you nodded your head. he was leaning in and your heart was pounding. you hoped that he wouldn’t hear it. you closed your eyes while the temperature of your cheeks was raising. then you felt it. the plump lips on yours. it sure felt good. he even got better than the first time. he then pulled away. he had a smirk on his face as he felt everyone’s gaze even though you did see a slight blush but maybe your imagination was going crazy.

it wasn’t uncommon to see taeyong make out with someone at a party but kiss someone on school grounds?

that was unthinkable. you heard from others that he always ended up breaking people’s heart because ‘he didn’t do relationships.’ every girl thought that maybe they would be the one to change his attitude but it was you. the last girl he could possibly end up with.

as two weeks passed have passed, taeyong and you spent a lot of times together. you always studied together. even though insults were still thrown at each other, it felt a more playful now. you also went on two dates so that he could take pictures and post pics of you both on his instagram. you were even his lockscreen now and vice versa.

taeyong was holding your drinks right now. he always had the orginial milk tea with grass jelly, 80% sugar with 50% ice and you also had the original milk tea but with tapioca bubbles, 50% sugar with 50% ice.

you both sat down and you started drinking your bubble tea.

“y/n?”

“hm?”

“why haven’t you had any boyfriend since like forever.”

“i could ask the same question for you.”

“just answer please.”

you quietly thought before answering.

“i think it’s because i am scared of love. you know? feelings are scary. plus, nobody has asked me out anyways. and you? why haven’t you gotten any serious girlfriends?”

“you would laugh your ass off because my answer is the same as yours. except, people always ask me out.”

“how does it feel to be needed? isn’t it special?”

“i guess it was nice at first but they don’t really need you, they like the idea of you or the things you have. that’s way i broke up with my ex. i heard her and her friends say that they liked my money so yeah i am scared of commitment.”

taeyong had an ex, they were seriously dating for 8 months during junior year. he definitely had his heart crushed to small pieces but he got over it with hookups, always no strings attached.

it was now the fourth week, you didn’t talk to him. to be frank, you have been avoiding him, avoiding his eye contacts, his phone calls and his texts. at first, taeyong was wondering why but then, it seemed like he didn’t care anymore. you did all of that because you may have realized that you had feelings for him for a very long time and you were terribly scared.

it was one of those sleepless nights where students studied their asses off, trying to cram as much knowledge as possible. you still studied with taeyong but he is a lot more productive than you so he finished earlier. he even proposed to wait for you so that he could walk you home. you insisted that you didn’t need to because you didn’t want to waste his time and you aren’t ready to confront your feelings yet. he didn’t push it so he left. 20 minutes later, you were finished revising your aesthetically pleasing rewritten notes. you packed your back and turned off the lamp on your study table.

you were on your phone while leaving the room. someone bumped onto your shoulder, almost making your phone almost fall off but you caught it at the right time. you let out a sorry and bowed.

“it’s fine.”

you looked up as the sound of his voice was familiar. it was jung yoonoh more commonly known as jaehyun. he was one of your childhood best friends along with taeyong. they were both still friends but jaehyun and you had drifted away because of different interests. it didn’t take a long time before the long conversations only turned into hi in the hallway.

“oh hi jaehyun!”

“hello! how have you been?” he said smiling.

“i have been doing good, my grades are still good.”

“come on, i don’t care about your studies, i wanted to know more about you and taeyong! it seems both of you haven’t killed each other yet.”

you shrugged.

“i guess he isn’t that annoying,” you mumbled.

“taeyong seems to be quite fond of you.”

your heart skipped a beat, it always did when someone said his name.

“i guess he’s starting to fall for you!” he winked. he probably knew about the whole fake dating trope. they would know each other’s secrets without needing to say it.

“don’t lie.”

“i am not y/n, the way he always looked at you. i really don’t know how you guys became enemies overnight.”

“i don’t know he is irritating! i hate everything about him.” you indeed hated his insanely good looks. you hated his sharp jawline when he turned his head to the side. you hated the eyebrow slit that suit him so much. you hated the small scar besides his eye that made him even more special. you hated the way he playfully smiled at you during classes. you hated his habit of ruffling your hair while you were studying. you hated when he genuinely laughed at your dumb jokes because it clenched your heart knowing that all of your interactions were put up for an act.

“sure jan.”

you quickly bid goodbyes and left. the night streets felt extremely lonely. your hands were shaking from the extreme cold. on your way home, you felt a presence behind you, but you were terrified of seeing who was behind you. you were probably overreacting -that’s what you told yourself- but your gut feeling felt like something wasn’t quite right in the atmosphere.

then, someone grabbed your arm and put a hand on your mouth. making you unable to scream for help. you kicked his leg, the person winced in pain and let go of you. you ran but he quickly caught up as you weren’t exactly usain bolt. something hit your head and everything was black.

you woke up attached to a chair, duct tape on your mouth. there was an old table with a clock in front of you. too far to reach it but close enough to read the time.

“12:54am”

you felt relieved as your parents wouldn’t be worried because both of them have night shifts. you looked around and found yourself in a dirty huge and abandoned warehouse. plenty of bodyguards were there. it felt so surreal, like a movie. rich people really do live in another universe. a middle-aged man got closer to you to remove the duct tape.

“it’s no use to scream, there is no one.”

panicked, you asked him what did he want.

“i want a part of your boyfriend’s money.”

“he is not my boyfriend. he won’t come.” you tried coming off as confident but your voice was shaking.

“oh, he will my dear. you woke up at the right time, five minutes ago, i sent him a picture of you all tied up on this chair. i threatened him with you in exchange i will get money. what he doesn’t know yet is that he might be killed and he’s threatening to kill me but what can this boy do.”

“who the fuck are you?”

“let’s just say his parents made me go bankrupt, thank god i had leftover money in the black market but they made me lose everything. so i planned a revenge!”

you felt your phone ringing in your coat’s pocket. the man pulled it out and made you look who was calling you.

my soft taeyong

your eyes widened. “let me talk to him, i beg you!”

he put the call on speaker. you were desperately trying to free yourself from that chair.

“are you okay?” he sounded really worried.

“taeyong!” you screamed to him. “can you hear me? listen, please don’t come and save me.” you choked up your tears.

“just hold on y/n. i am coming whether you want it or not.”

“oh and y/n?”

“y-yeah?”

“i am gonna tell you when i come, please hold on there.”

“n-” and before you could even finish your sentence, the man hung up. you felt extremely stressed and were hoping that taeyong wouldn’t come. you did not want to lose him. not today.

a dozen of minutes passed. he was there. you couldn’t hold back your tears now. you couldn’t believe his dumb ass was standing at the entrance of the warehouse. the man smiled and taeyong was tense. you could tell that he was scared and yet confident.

the moment he was going to give the briefcase. the police siren could be heard clear and loudly. a swat team barged into the warehouse. it did not take long for the man and his crew to chicken out. the police cut the ropes and you ran towards taeyong.

you legs were now around his waist and your arms around his necks. your lips on his. it tasted sweet and salty from your tears and his honey lip balm. you were still shaking but you immediately found a sense of security while holding him.

when the kiss ended, you asked him.

“taeyong, what did you want to tell me?” the lights made his beautiful eyes shine.

“i love you y/n for the past i don’t know, ten years probably? i never understood why you hated me. i never did.”

“taeyong, you said i was a bad kisser and it was my first kiss and it was special for me. i don’t know, i hated you since then, probably because i felt like it didn’t mean shit to you.”

“it was my first kiss too and let me tell you, it was magical. since then, i always think of you and how i always come back to you. maybe that’s why i said that, i was afraid that you would actually like me, i am scared of love but now i don’t anymore. so let’s date, for real this time?”

you smiled and gave him a small peck. he whispered in your ears.

“come on, it’s 1:27 am, let’s go home.”

#taeyong #lee taeyong #nct #nct u #nct 127 #nct imagines #taeyong scenarios #taeyong imagines #taeyong x reader #taeyong x you #nct scenarios #nct oneshot #taeyong oneshot

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ohhkkaebsonggg · 6 years

Text

Apartment 54 ♡ Episode One: Are You Trying to Give Me a Boner?

Pairing: Byun Baekhyun X Reader / Park Chanyeol X Reader / Kim Junmyeon X Reader / Zhang Yixing X Reader Rating: 21+ *18 at least* Genre/s: Fluff, Implied Smut, Summary of Episode: After quitting your previous job you found a cheap apartment that was suitable for you. Your first meeting with your next door neighbours was quite the introduction, but you haven’t even cracked out the bottle of wine yet... Warnings (this episode): Swearing, Talk of Masturbation, Masturbation, Drinking, Impure Thoughts, Kinky Confessions Author: ♡ Admin C ♡

Apartment 54, known to be the ‘cursed apartment’ due to people only staying there for a few months then leaving. The longest anyone has stayed there was seven months, before the couple split and both left. You just retired from your previous job, at age 23. Yeah it seemed early but that job was lacking for you.

You weren’t even paid very well, now you just needed a place to stay for a bit while you sorted yourself out. You have ten thousand dollars saved and ready to support yourself for the time being. As you were carrying groceries to your car you noticed a sign up on a board.

It was an open apartment, one bedroom, one bathroom and a nice kitchen as you could see in the photos. There was a lot of living room space where you could do your yoga, it seemed like the perfect place to live. You grabbed out your phone, holding it up and taking a photo of the sign with the details on who to contact and how much rent was a month.

This was it, this was your chance to get out of the shit hole place you live with your friend and find a new place and start a better life. You glanced at the other signs, seeing if there were any job offerings near the place. There didn’t seem to be but baby steps for now.

“Shit.” Baekhyun threw his head back as he pumped himself, the pornographic moans coming from his computer bringing him closer to his orgasm. The slick sound of his precum mixed with the vaseline echoing but the guys wouldn’t hear him. A soft moan left his lips as his eyes squeezed shut. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, sucking deeply as he continued at the hard pace.

“Hey dude, I need to borrow your cap.” Chanyeol announced as he walked right into the room, Baekhyun didn’t have time to stuff himself back into his Calvin Klein boxers and just threw the silk sheet over his body before slamming his laptop shut.

“Fucking hell Chanyeol, do you not know how to knock or some shit?” He growled, stuffing himself away and pissed that he now had blue balls.

“It’s nothing I’ve never seen before man, thanks for the cap.” Chanyeol left and a smirk, knowing that Baek would be pissed for the rest of the day because of him most likely. Baekhyun was about to finish himself off when there was a knock on his door.

At least he knocked this time; he thought before mumbling ‘come in.’ Instead of expecting to see the giant enter his room he saw the dwarf and eldest instead.

“I just got back from grocery shopping, come help put shit away if you want food tonight.” Junmyeon said before walking off. He groaned before following out and starting to put things away. Baekhyun was the maturing one, meaning he tried his best to act like an adult but he was just too goofy at times and couldn’t care any less. He’s always been single and prefers one-night stands.

“Baek I’m keeping your cap until I find my one.” Chanyeol was the youngest and the immature one, he was always out partying or doing something reckless. He brought home girls but only the ones who aren’t clingy and want something out of sleeping together. He used to date a girl but that ended when he caught her cheating on him…in his own bed too.

“Is Yixing up yet?” Junmyeon was the eldest and the mature one, always taking care of the boys and making sure they had food. He worked over at the newspaper company not far from their apartment, he earned enough to pay for food and combining some of his money with the boys to pay for rent and bills. He too used to date a girl but it just didn’t really work out, he has gone on dates with girls since then to see if anyone caught his interest but none so far.

“I don’t know, but did you hear me Baek or are you too busy day dreaming about some porn star?” Chanyeol liked to tease Baekhyun a lot, especially about his ‘problem’ which he didn’t even see as a problem. But according to the guys, they reckon he has an addiction or a kink. Either way masturbating several times a day isn’t healthy.

“Shut the fuck up you dumbass! You’re lucky I don’t beat the shit out of you.” Baek barked back at the youngest before continuing the put things away.

“Does everyone have to be fucking loud at this time of the morning?” Yixing walked out, in only his boxers with bed hair and tired eyes. Yixing was very different from the others, he rarely dated, slept around or had anything with a girl. The guys joked that he was into guys but he never confirmed the joke or denied either. He just always shrugged his shoulders and let them think what they want.

He was a very closed off person, the guys spoke to him very few times only when he was in the mood too. He always spent a lot of time at the gym working out and staying in shape. He wasn’t immature or mature he was just…Yixing? He glared at the three boys making a large amount of sound in the kitchen.

“Well good morning to you too. We just finished unpacking all our groceries so you can do some chores when you’re decent.” Junmyeon said sternly.

“What the—” fuck was cut off by the large thud from outside their door, all heads turning towards it before hearing a faint groan followed by a loud sigh.

They all walked towards the door, well Yixing slipped on some sweats and a shirt first before opening up to see a man with a trolley and cardboard boxes being put into Apartment 54. The boys all looked at each other, who was moving in? They don’t remember seeing anyone walking around or touring the apartment.

“Excuse me, do you know who is moving in next door?” Junmyeon asked the guy who was wheeling things into the apartment.

“You boys sure are lucky.” Was all he said with a smirk, Junmyeon had a confused expression on his face. No idea what the guy meant by that at all, he went back inside with the others and closed the door.

“What was that all about?” Baekhyun asked as Junmyeon shrugged his shoulders.

“I don’t know.” Was his only reply, things went silent before they heard it. It had to be the new neighbour’s voice.

“Thank you so much for your help. I hope this can cover it.” They creaked the door open the slightest bit, peeking out to see who the voice belonged to.

“What do you see?” Chanyeol asked eagerly.

“Legs…long, soft, tan—”

“Are you trying to give me a boner?” Baekhyun asked frustrated still.

“Is it a girl? It sounds like a girl.” Junmyeon asked, waiting for Yixing to reply.

“Yeah so does Baekhyun but he’s not a girl.” Chanyeol said before receiving a punch in the dick from Baek.

“Bye~” It was a soft farewell to the man that helped you bring all your boxes up, your felt a little weird when he had looked you up and down but also your fault for wearing short shorts and a low-cut top. Hey, it was hot out. Your hair was thrown up into a pony tail, you popped the lollipop you had just started sucking on back in your mouth.

Enjoying the strawberry flavour that lingered in your mouth from it, Yixing closed the door and sighed.

“New neighbour, hot, short and cute. What do we do?” Yixing said as the boys all just looked at each other dumbfounded.

“Introduce ourselves?” Baekhyun shrugged his shoulders at his own suggestion, not sure if that’s what they were supposed to do. They never had a female neighbour that seemed to be single, hot, short and cute.

They opened their door to see that yours was closed, moving closer they all began to fix themselves up. Checking their breath, fixing their hair and clothes, licking their lips. Junmyeon knocked softly three times, waiting for you to answer. You were annoyed, that guy probably came back for a top or your number.

You walked to the door, opening to see four hot, young and attractive guys all staring at you.

“Oh, uh hi.” You said confused as to why they were at your day.

“Hi, I’m Junmyeon, this is Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Yixing. We live across from you. We heard you moving in and thought we might come over and say hi and welcome you.” You smiled and nodded, silently thanking yourself for your choice of clothing.

“I’m y/n, I just moved in. Come in, the place is a bit bad right now but you know. Being a girl and having all this heavy stuff—”

“We can move it all for you?” The one named Baekhyun suggested, you did need the help moving things around but felt like a bit of a snob.

“I mean, if you want to it would be nice. But you shouldn’t I’ll just call that guy again to come help out.” You said going to pull out your phone but the tall one named Chanyeol spoke up.

“No! Let us do it, we don’t have exactly a ‘welcome’ gift so this can just be it. Besides you’ve already done enough.” His eyes scanned you up and down like you were a snack, he looked ready to jump your bones.

“Moving! You’ve done enough moving boxes and unpacking yourself.” Junmyeon covered up for Chanyeol’s clear sexual comment with a normal one, not wanting to make you uncomfortable even though his own cock was twitching in his briefs as the sight of you and your lack of clothing.

“Okay, well uhm we could start in the bedroom?” You suggested, the tips of everyone’s ears going slightly pink at how wrong it sounded. This is what happens when four boys are deprived of sex for weeks on end. You smiled and let them follow you to where the guy had just dumped your bed.

It was in the bedroom yes, but it had been taken apart and you wanted it up against the wall.

“Instructions?” Yixing asked, looking at the metal pieces of your bed frame.

“I have no clue, they might be in the box.” You walked over to one of the stacked boxes in the corner and bent over to search through it. Immediately their eyes land on your defined, perfect--you turned around to the sound of Baekhyun coughing obviously must have sucked in too much air.

“I’ll get you something to drink. Is soda okay?” You asked as they all nodded, you walked into the kitchen, searching through some of the boxes to fish out glasses. You at least had a working fridge that came with the place so when you arrived you made sure anything that needed to be cold was put in there.

“What is wrong with you Baekhyun? You need to cool it!” Chanyeol hissed, keeping his voice as low as he could so you wouldn’t hear.

“Me?! You were staring at her ass too fuckwit!” Baekhyun spat back, the two eldest rolling their eyes at their bickering before going back over to where you were previously and fishing out the instructions.

“This should be easy.” Junmyeon sighed as they both began to sort out pieces and put the bed together. You grabbed glasses and brought them to the boys, approaching the two youngest first who seemed to have been arguing about something but you didn’t intrude.

“I don’t know if you guys drink coke but it’s all I have for now.” You said with a smile as they thanked you and smiled back.

Everything got put together like planned, you decided that to celebrate and your welcoming present is they stay for dinner. You ordered take out and sat around the small coffee table, trying to fit all on one couch was hard though that you just ended up sitting on Baekhyun’s lap.

Until he knew that you would start to feel something that he would be way too embarrassed about and so now you were seated on Junmyeon’s lap. After eating you had grabbed a bottle of wine out and opened it, deciding to play a little drinking game to get to know everyone better.

Five fingers were up and glasses were full and ready to go. Rules were simple, you simply say something that you have or haven’t done it doesn’t matter and if someone has done it they put a finger down. If they end up with all fingers down they have to drink their entire glass of wine.

“Never have I ever...gone skinny dipping.” You said, watching as two fingers went down. Junmyeon and Chanyeol, the boys looking at them in shock.

“Wait so when did you go skinny dipping?” Chanyeol asked trying to get the attention off him.

“I do it pretty often actually, I used to do it in my pool a lot. I had a hot neighbour who took my virginity. Alright Yixing you’re next.” You said with a smile.

“Never have I ever...put a bed together.” He said, obviously he was trying to keep things innocent which is what made you want to jump his bones even more.

“Oh come on! Give us something that someone has actually done.” You said pouting at him. Oh how we wanted to take that bottom lip and bite down on it.

“Never have I ever...had shower sex.” He said, well there goes your finger. The boys all looking at each other to see no one else put their finger down except for you.

“You guys haven’t ever? What? But it’s the best, the hot water and steam gets you all lightheaded and wrapping your legs around someone.” The boys didn’t know what to say or think, you were this hot sexy girl who seemed to live for anything.

“Never have I ever...jacked off to hentai.” Baekhyun said smirking at Chanyeol knowing his finger would go down.

“You asshole! It was one time!” Chanyeol tried to defend but the boys just giggled. Your mind thought about it, how Chanyeol gets off to the high pitched moans the girls have, the rapeplay that happens.

“Never have I ever...go five times or more a day.” Chanyeol said obviously trying to get back at Baekhyun.

“Oh fuck you!” And a finger went down. It was now Junmyeon’s turn, he looked like he was thinking about what to ask.

“Never have I ever...done BDSM.” His face tinted pink slightly and it did not go by without notice, you couldn’t help the slight smirk. You put down a finger, the boys looking at you in awe.

“It’s fun, do you guys just have the girl lay in bed when you fuck her?” You asked, no one spoke though. Sex with girls was always quick and simple with the guys, they never really tried anything fun.

“Have any of you done any other position besides missionary?” You asked, still no answer.

“Let me tell you the pros and cons of different positions. Baekhyun, help me?” You asked the shy boy sweetly as he clearly gulped before nodding.

“Get on your knees, just your knees though.” You said and he nodded, getting onto his knees and waiting, the boys watched with interest. You moved towards him on your hands and knees, lust clear in your eyes as your cleavage was on display for him while your ass hung out for the others to see.

You turned around, pressing your ass right against his clear growing bulge, a light moan passed his lips that didn’t go unnoticed by you.

“Now grab my pony tail and pull it back, not too hard but just enough for you to control my head movements.” Baekhyun followed, your head now pulled back by your pony tail as you rocked back and forth.

“Doggy style, you can hit straight angles that you can’t in missionary. And if you’re really kinky you can spank the girl’s ass as you fuck her and pull on her hair. You also get more control of the movement of the hips.” You explained, the boys were all drooling, not really but their eyes said it all.

Baekhyun was getting way too needy at this point, each time you rocked back against him his bulge was irritated by you. You moved back to your spot on the floor and you all continued the game.

After the game everyone left leaving you to peace and quiet in your new apartment. While you were snuggled in bed, Junmyeon was trying to get some sleep cause he had work in the morning, Yixing was thinking about your smile and how sweet you are, Chanyeol was texting some girl in his class and Baekhyun was moving his hand up and down.

He bit his lip as he tried to get himself to cum quickly, you were on his mind. All he could think about was the way you showed everyone that position and your body pressed against his own. How good it would be to feel the real thing. His toes curled as his orgasm approached, why wouldn’t he stop thinking about you?

“Holy fuck!” He yelled, loud enough for the boys to hear as white long and thick ropes left his cock, he still twitched in his hand as he continued. He knew exactly who you were and where you came from now.

“Baekhyun shut the fuck up and stop wanking!” Yixing yelled back before silence was all they heard.

#exo #smut #angst #fluff #series #park #chanyeol #zhang #yixing #lay #suho #junmyeon #kim #byun #baekhyun #chapters

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the-mf-bread-babies · 4 years

Text

20/6/20

× REBUILD III ×

+ RUNAWAY RENEGADES +

[ COLLECTION I ]

“backstories”

∆ VOLUME TWO ∆

“Odd Beginnings”

· PART ONE ·

———————————————————

CHAPTER ONE

DINER DATE

It was a rainy night. The clock inside the diner probably hadn't been fixed in decades, which only made time pass more slower for Jason. Jason Aronowitz Watanabe, 16 years old, was waiting for his first date to arrive at the restaurant. His mother and father were sitting in front of him, eagerly awaiting for her too. Among all the excuses the two had speculated, the son had grown tired and realized that maybe he didn't want to do this in the first place.

Jason stared at the unmoving clock, the sound of rain pattering filling his ears. God, it would be such a good time to sleep right now. “Honey, she's probably stuck in traffic,” said Judy, his mother. She spent hours to do her hair, makeup, and outfit. This might have been her son's date, but her and her husband's was going to take place as soon as the girl had arrived, and it was ten times more grand than Jason's. They had a reservation at Chili's.

Hisashi Watanabe, Jason's father, kept his eyes focused on the road outside. Maybe this was her. No, then that one. Also no. Well, hopefully Jason's not getting pranked or whatever. Oh, that's a cool truck. Bye, cool truck. Damn, that reservation's probably busted by now. So long, paradise pie. Two hours to get here and both dates are probably cancelled by now. Jason looks sad. Actually, he always does, it's understandable, but this time's sadder than usual.

“Jason, look outside!” The father whispered excitedly, pointing out the window. “Whatever. I wanna go home.” Jason grumbled angrily, his voice slightly cracking either from crying or just puberty. “Sorry, just… a limo,” Hisashi uttered quietly. “We can order something if you want,” Judy suggested, awkwardly smiling, her big sunglasses shielding the intense mix of emotions she was feeling– anger, disappointment, sadness. Also, hunger.

“Mm,” Jason replied cryptically. “Waiter! Can I get a menu, please?” Judy yelled out, startling the two men. She ordered something, her voice being reduced to mumbles by Jason zoning out, eyes fixated on the table. “Sweetie, do you want a milkshake? They have cookies and cream,” His mother asked, gaining back his attention. “Um, okay, sure.” Jason answered, giving his mother and the waiter a polite smile. “Thank you.” He went back to zoning out.

His parents were having a conversation about something unimportant, and the restaurant was awfully ambient. There was a jukebox, but that, too, was broken. This seemed like an appropriate situation for the boy to get distracted from everything and daydream. Damn, it would be so cool if he could play the drums. Ah, to be a transformer. Imagine going to have a heart transplant surgery, and Gerard says, “Babe, it's okay,” and then when it's done you ask the nurse who gave you the heart and she replies, “Frank Iero,” and you and the other three remaining members go get pizza or whatever. Poor Frank. Was that a bell ringing. Oh, to be a lamb in a field, eating grass. Ew, imagine eating grass…

HELLO.

A shadowy figure towered over Jason threateningly, katakana surrounding her. Who the hell is this?

“Do you need money?” Judy asked quietly, counting some dollar bills, thinking this was some random person. “Yeah!” She shouted excitedly. “Gimme five hundred thousand dollars, stat!” Jason's face turned to the girl. Her shirt read “TACO,” with an image of a cartoon taco below it. Cloaking the ugly t-shirt was a blue jacket that seemed quite old and vintage. Well, at least her outfit is matching. “Um… are you…” he asked the girl.

“Your date for tonight, partner!” Oh, she has braces. Yeah, seemed like a braces person. “Awesome! Now you two don't do any funny business, okay?” Jason's dad stated, pointing. “Dad, what.” “Well, off to visit your mother!” He added, his arm around Judy, the two scooting out of the seat to make room for the girl. “Cool! Your dad knows TF2?” The girl said, her face sparking up in joy. “I was an animator for the shorts,” Hisashi revealed, much to the girl's excitement. “HOLY SHIT!!! CAN I GET AN AUTOGRAPH?!” She yelled out, turning the heads of some people in the diner. “Sure thing,” he answered, signing a napkin. “Okay, bye, you two,”

Jason's eyes met the girl's, realising he forgot what her name was. Um… well, her brother's a senior, right? Tony… Tony Blenderson… Bender… Flanders… Uh… “Hi! You're Jason, right? From History?” She asked, raising his fear more. How did he even agree to this in the first place? Oh, right, their moms are friends. “Um, yeah, and you're…” Oh God. Grave mistake. “Man, I don't know! Most people just call me by my last name. First names are boring, you get me?” She confessed, calming him down slightly. “Oh, uh… yeah! Uh, so I can call you…” “Anytime!” She added confidently. “Huh?” Jason said, confused. “Henderson, man! Hendersonville is actually an actual place, by the way! Could you BELIEVE IT?!” Jason awkwardly agreed, not knowing what to do. “Yeah… like Disneyland or something…”

The conversation went on, with the occasional text from Jason's parents. “So then I was all like, I know karate, you dumbass,” she started, Jason trying his best to understand what the hell she was talking about. “And this stupid little goat starts headbutting me, and I'm bleeding and stuff, obviously, keep in mind I had a hamburger, that's important, okay,” The boy nodded his head along. “So, yeah, that was how gender equality is. Yeah, zoos are dumb, they're bad,” “Yeah, like, it's not good for them and stuff,” Jason said, finally having some material for the conversation.

He paused for a bit, unsure if the other was going to add anything. “So, uh, what do you do? Like, um, in general, yeah,” he asked, sipping his milkshake. “Kill people.” She blurted. “Okay. I like collecting stamps.” He replied jokingly. “HAH! God, what a riot you are! Oh boy, STAMPS!!!” Henderson laughed exaggeratedly, thinking it sounded natural, and possibly cute. “Yeah…?” “Yeah, not real people, but like, I play video games a lot. You ever play Slime Rancher? I've got six thousand days on that guy.” She confessed seriously, crossing her arms. “Also, used to play Overwatch, but that was so last rebuild. Now, in this one, I prefer Garden Warfare. You know, the FPS Plants vs. Zombies game?” She casually added, Jason sending his usual confused nodding and raised eyebrows with a slightly opened mouth as a reply.

Jason thought for a bit. “I play Apex,” He said disappointedly. “Oh, didn't it end because of that big rapper guy? Marshmello? Yeah. Sorry, dude.” Henderson comforted. “Um. I guess?” Jason ate the Oreo on top of the milkshake. “Yeah, and I also listen to emo stuff. I was born in the wrong generation.” He said, stirring the drink. “Oh, like PSY? Yeah, my old neighbor listened to him.” .. huh. “Um… yeah, and like, MGR and stuff…” “Cool! What's that stand for, again? My cousin listens to Chaos! in the Gathering, Nuclear Lad, thirty three tailors, so I know emo.” Henderson bragged. “Oh, it stands for My Geological Rocks! It's because they're pretty rock, and one of them saw this book where the title was ‘Geological Rocks’ or whatever, so they named the band that.” He explained truthfully. “ Oh ! That's Dumb ! ” She blatantly said, her hand loosely swinging a spoon.

“Oh, shit, you don't have food. Um, do you want some?” Jason realized, offering Henderson the scraps of his milkshake. “Nope! Lactose intolerance, baby!” She confessed, a hint of sadness present in her face. “Oh. Sorry,” He said as he slurped up the remains quite loudly. “Should I ask them for a menu?” Jason asked, clearly not wanting to do so. “I ate a toasted toast sandwich earlier, so I'm not really hungry.” “A toasted toast sandwich is a piece of toast slotted between two other pieces of toasted bread. With butter spread on some of them.” Henderson explained in detail. “Is it good?” Jason asked fearfully. “Duh,” she said. “Oh, okay,”

The two sat in silence. The room was quiet, even the chattering of the other customers were gone. Henderson waited patiently for a waiter to come by, her face staring at the table. “That's a weird stain.” She uttered, poking hesitantly at it. “Probably tea.” Jason added, looking at the stain. “Yeah,” Henderson agreed, resting her head on the table. They stared at the stain for some time. “So, uh, you like Jar-Jar’s Odd Journey?” Henderson asked, looking up at the other. “No, I don't watch anime,” he replied, prying at the stain with his fingernail. “Oh, okay. But like, do you like Jar-Jar’s?” Jason paused, looking at her and squinting his eyes, thinking what she was meaning to hint, then slowly realising it. “Well, do you like Power Princesses? With the cat lady and the other lady?” He asked slyly, smiling from ear to ear. “Yeah… literally and…” Henderson inspected Jason's jeans. “metaphorically… you know…” Jason inspected hers too. They both cuffed them, even though Henderson's were already a good length, now a bit too short, resulting in a very prominent hint. “So yes, I do watch Jar-Jar, then,” he replied. They nodded, smiling in Mystery.

“So, why'd you even agree to this?” Jason asked, facing her. “I dunno. Felt rebellious to steal my sister's date, I guess.” Jason leaned back in his seat, blinking interestedly. “So, if it weren't for you meddling fool, I would've gone on a date with a CRSCO girl, huh?” “Sksksksks and I oop,” Jason questioned dramatically. “Yes. That's actually why I'm late; I drove here by myself.” Henderson confessed, smirking. “And I knew I wouldn't like this date if it was at some fancy restaurant, so I picked somewhere I could eat, hence why the location is so unsuitable.” “The distance, especially. That was so my family couldn't track me down.” “As if they'd care.” Henderson folded her hands together on the table and put her head down and stared at them, her hair swinging dramatically in front of her.

“Well that's bad. And bad… ass,” Jake stated, tilting his head awkwardly. “Like, your family, that's bad, like, your brother's a… he's not nice, necessarily, but you stealing a date from your sister and driving to some random-ass diner in the middle of nowhere, that's some Gone Girl shit.” he explained, eyes burning with awe.

“I mean, I've had some friends from band that met your sister, and from what I've heard, and I'm sorry for being nosy, but, I mean, it really justifies this whole… thing. So, uh, yeah. Sorry,” Jason continued as Henderson moved her Orbs to meet his.

“So, how'd it feel to set her room on fire? Were the firefighters and shit? Again, sorry for being nosy.” Jason asked casually, doing his first attempt at the three-paragraph thing. Henderson giggled uncontrollably, wiping tears off of her Orbs. “Wha– FIRE?! Who told you that? I only just threw some of her stuff out the window, but SETTING IT ON FIRE WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN, JASON!!” Jason sat up, stammering in response. “B-But, um, like, uh, Tristan, from band, the school band, said that– you, uh, like, it was midnight, and he woke up because of all the sirens, and– yeah.” Jason explained, his voice nervously loud, and his hands gesturing wildly. “Oh!” she yelled out, remembering the experience.

“That was the time I tried modifying the hell outta french fries and I set the kitchen on fire! Like, I was pouring the fries in, then the fire just shot up, like, ten feet, and my hair almost caught on fire, the smoke alarm was ringing, it was hell, man, hell,” Henderson explained excitedly. “So, yeah, someone called the fire station, next thing I know, I'm getting yelled at severely, and I can't play video games or go on my phone for three weeks!” Jason nodded in awe. “How did you… mod… fries?” He asked in confusion, rubbing his chin. “Oh, I put olive oil, safflower oil, cooking oil, and corn oil, also I used a flat frying pan, put in two brands of fries, made sure it wasn't overcrowded, also put a thick layer of seasoning on the pan and I folded it like scrambled eggs.”

“So yeah, a literal recipe for disaster. Never doing that again.” Henderson stated, although she was most definitely going to make the same mistake in a few years with Rachel. “Ah. I see. Why the flat frying pan?” Jason asked. “Oh, the other pans were in the sink and I was lazy.” She replied, making a disappointed face. “also i'm pretty sure that it caused the oil to like. yknow. vooooshhhhh” Henderson added, sinking her face into her hands.

Jason thought of a more embarrassing moment. “Wanna know that time I went to the ER because I was too goth?” “Wait, two times! One, I ate black lipstick, the other, I got choked by a…” Jason sunk his head down. “homemade e-boy necklace…” Henderson cackled loudly, slapping the table. “How the hell do you get choked by that?!” Jason pursed his lips sadly. “I was wearing the necklace first and put it on backwards, big mistake, it had a really heavy padlock, then my binder, which was way too tight, so it was choking me, but I was wearing my turtleneck, and my arms were stuck, so I just smacked the dresser violently.” “And that's how I came out to my parents.” Jason said, smirking and crossing his arms together. “Thankfully, they let me buy a better one that didn't, like, kill me.” He added.

Henderson's jaw was hanging open in surprise. “You're trans too?!” Jason pogged in response, “TOO?!” The two shared a very intense and complicated series of high-fives and fistbumps, screaming in joy. “Man, so this is why you stole that dumbass’ date!” “Solidarity!” Jason stated, smiling. “Thanks for saving me, uh…” He paused, waiting for a confirmation. “Uh… I dunno. Girl?” Henderson replied, shrugging. “Girl! I am Dude!” Jason shouted, giving her a thumbs-up. “Cool! Hi Dude!” She yelled out, earning a very strong high-five from Jason. “Hell Yeah !!!!!!!!”

“Man, you want something to celebrate? This shit's nice as hell.” Jason asked, visibly in a better mood than before. “To hell with it! Cheesy Frickin’ Fries for the lady!” Henderson shouted in joy. “And for the man?” Jason thought for a bit. “Truck” he uttered, giving her an emotional gaze. Get it? Gaze? “Ah, okay. Truck it is, then,” Henderson confirmed before raising her head to get the waiter's attention.

“Waiter ain't here. Should I? Go to the counter?” She asked, pointing to the front of the diner. Jason nodded in response. Henderson approached the counter, her hands in her pockets, her eyes looking around. There was not a single person to be seen, the pies sitting on the rack softly, asking to be stolen and devoured. “Be… do…” she whispered softly, her hand reaching to the pies, only to be stopped by the other one. Disappointed, she went back to Jason, frowning.

“God hates us.” She uttered, her head pointing up. “No one at the counter, no one near the entrance, so no friggin’ cheese fries.” She grumbled, “Drove five friggin’ hours in the friggin’ rain just for this dumbass shit. Can't even have the friggin’ pies, that's illegal,” Jason looked at her sadly. “Hey, it's okay, I brought snacks,” He pulled out a packet of chips from his hoodie pocket. “Here's the fries…” Jason placed a slightly melted cheese slice onto the table. “And here's the cheese!” “Hipster, innit? All deconstructed an’ stuff,” He said happily, swinging his arm a la Grunkle Stan.

“What a gentleman. Thank you, Jarnathan Jarstar, my brother,” Henderson said gratefully, unwrapping the cheese slice packet. “Good job, uh, Catra,” Jason commented, opening the chips packet. As they dined happily, a tall, scary figure approached them slowly and murderously.

“Ya can't bring outside food in here.”

“It's against the rules, kiddos.”

“Might getcha banned fer life if yer not careful enough.”

“Aah!!” Jason screamed quietly. The figure revealed itself under the illumination of the ceiling lights— a man, presumably middle-aged, dressed in a cheap chicken costume, donning a knight helmet. “You wouldn't make the cut. Ya just wouldn't.” The man uttered cryptically, confusing the two. Was this weirdo the mascot or just some guy? “I have pepper spray, creep.” Henderson threatened, pointing the self-defence tool at the costumed man. “Like that'll do anythin’.” He pointed out, glaring at the girl.

In response, Jason pushed the man, Henderson following suit by vigorously kicking the life out of him. Blood oozed out of the now-stained costume as he begged for help, trying his best to explain the current situation. “Stop! Please stop!” He yelled out, only for the helmet to be removed by Henderson, who was ready to punch the hell outta him.

Some balding white guy sporting bad facial hair had been the culprit all along. Jason pulled the remains of his hair and threw him to the floor, yelling. Out of the blue, a group of people showed up, coming to the rescue and pulling them apart from each other. “Whose idea was to be threatening again?!” The man in the chicken costume yelled out, clearly angry at all of them. “Run!” Henderson shouted, grabbing the snacks and dragging Jason out of the diner, only to be chased down by the others.

“Who the hell was that guy?!” Jason yelled, running. “I may be weird, but I definitely don't know that guy, and definitely not enough for him to just show up like that!” Henderson shouted back, confused. “Guess it's some weird kidnapper, then? Or a really odd mascot.” Jason said, dashing around the street corner. “Probably!” Henderson ran past Jason. “Hey, wait up! I was kicked outta the track team for a reason, Henderson!” The boy yelled, running out of breath. The girl went back to him, feeling a bit guilty.

“I, uh, have asthma.” Jason said, pulling out his inhaler. “Oh, um, I'm, uh, really, really, sorry.” Henderson nervously apologized, her mind wondering what would happen if Jason died right then and there. Oh, she'd definitely have to go to court. Maybe it'll be like Legally Blonde. Jason stood back up, gesturing to Henderson to keep going. “Hey, I'm okay, go ahead.” “You can leave me here if you want. Death isn't a big concern for me; I'll meet all the MGR members, then when I go to hell I can punch Brendon Urie in the face…” Jason struggled out. “… because he's like, racist,” “Bob Bryar too, man,” Henderson nodded slowly, not knowing what the hell kinda emo thing he was referencing.

Jason looked behind Henderson, surprised. “Hhhh… they're not killing us…” he tried out, pointing to her back. “Oh, hey, yeah. Let's go hide somewhere.” Henderson suggested, looking around for a good shelter. “I'm gonna tell this to my parents first…” Jason said, moving down to sit on the ground. “Oh, man. There's no reception here.” He revealed, getting more and more scared with every second they stayed there, the possibility of them being caught and killed or whatever growing steadily.

“I mean, we are in Ohio, Jason. There's a bigger chance of us stumbling into a big-ass cornfield than us getting reception in some super rural town like this.” Henderson sighed. “This place is called Van Wert, Jay. How friggin’ hillbilly is that? Van Wurrrtt, yee-haw,” She commented angrily. Jason took a deep breath and stood back up, scanning the horizon.

“Well, hard to find a place where we won't get shot immediately when entering, especially at this hour. I mean, gun store, bar, creepy pharmacy, another gun store, mom and pop, mom and pop's gun store, shooting range, farmer's market, café (with a rifle under the counter), barbershop, ranch–” Henderson smiled from ear to ear as she heard what Jason just said. “RANCH?! WITH HORSES?!”

tob e fucketh continue

a uhhh Notes by Rocco Wulfram North

oh that names so epic omg

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enniewritesathing · 6 years

Text

Based on this article. This is a SUPER long read, so... it’s behind the cut (RIP mobile users, maybe), and just some stuff... rambling even, lol. But, it’s an info dump, some insights, silliness... etc...

On Preparation:

Brian: “Oh, lord. I don’t know who’s crazier during training -- me or John.”

John: “It’s both of us.”

B: “Yeah... listen, when fight week is here in this house? It feels like every seam is going to burst. It’s chaos, it’s anxiety, the tension.”

J: “Ah, sorry. Hey, you told me to take it outside, so I did. There’s a small gym in the backyard. Pads, mirrors, the treadmill, I even hooked up the soundsystem. I’m usually in there twice a day. Three times if I’m lucky.”

B: “I usually don’t see him for days at a time. Sometimes it works out, because I’m on rotation shifts at the hospital. Then I worry that I’ll see this [jerks thumb at John] dumbass on a stretcher. It’s one thing to push yourself, but to the point of injury. Again.”

J: “He’s never going to let me live that one down.”

B: [matter-of-fact look] “He almost died.”

J: “And you call me dramatic? Brian, I didn’t [in mocking tone] “almost die”. I’ll tell that story later. I have a bunch. Before he kicked me out of the house, I’d practice in what’s now the green room. Wait-- what about when we were living at ina’s house? You wanna...?”

B: “No, what do you do now.”

J: “Ah. Well, wake up in the morning, around 4. Go out for a five mile run. Come back, stretching, then drills for three hours. If I’m lucky, there’s breakfast, full of carbs. 30 minute rest, then back to more drills. Then, shadow box with the mirrors for... [makes vague hand gesture]. When I’m at that point, it’s easy get lost in it. After that, more drills, cool down run, stretches, meditate, then dinner. Repeat until three days before a fight. It’s all meditation at that point. I’m not worried about making weight or anything like that.”

B: “Y’know, I didn’t realize we had that many mirrors until I watched.”

J: “I didn’t either. How many do we have?”

B: “I counted twelve. And they’re [makes wide armed gesture]. Sometimes, I have to pull him out of whatever he’s got going on in his mind. That’s how intense he gets. It’s amazing.”

J: “Really? [raises eyebrow] You said you watched...”

B: “Well, duh, I’m gonna watch. You’re so focused... a couple of times, I watched for an hour and you didn’t notice. Like I said, I don’t know where he goes in his mind. There’s a certain... energy that he has. It’s also the same energy that makes me a little anxious and it drives me a little crazy because I keep... visualizing something’s going to happen during the fight itself. I know-- I know it’s weird to think that far ahead, but I think about all the things that can go wrong.”

J: “Except the times... yeah.”

B: “Yeah. I have to get in that mindset when he’s getting ready for a fight, but I am not... I never feel ready and honestly, I never will.. But, when I watch him shadowbox, the way he moves and how sharp he is, how he flows, hell, the way he looks. He fights beautiful. That and those shorts you always wear... [smiles] hmm. I love it when he wears those and he has his hair down, and he’s all sweaty--”

J: [slightly embarrassed] “Babe, please.”

B: “But behind the beauty is something... I’d say even demonic.”

J: “Oh my god. You’re like the third person to say that. My opponents, I understand. But my own boyfriend? Demonic?”

B: “There’s a better word for it -- ah, scary. There are a couple of photos we have that’s in his uncle’s gym that... scares me. Because it’s like looking at a stranger or a peek at something you’re not supposed to see. I admit the one where you’re just standing there, just covered in blood is my favorite... but the one that scares me is...”

J: [thoughtful look] “Which one? I have a lot of them.”

B: “Over the trophy case. The one with you screaming and your eyes are super wide and hair wild. You looked possessed.”

J: “Oh! Yeah, yeah, that one? That’s probably the scariest I’ve ever seen myself. It’s like ‘holy shit, what did I become?’” And it’s only for a few seconds I’m like that. The funny thing is I don’t remember doing it and I don’t remember that fight...”

B: “Hell, when your eyes do ‘The Thing’.

J: “Oh, like this? [he turns to Brian. His eyes widen slightly for a moment and Brian shirks]’

B: Augh! Yes, that one. I’ve watched your opponents shrink during the staredown. You scare the shit out them before they do anything.”

J: “Really? Am I that scary?”

B: “Let me put it this way, if I never knew you like I do, I would say yes. Since I do, and I know how you work, then no. I realize that you’re a different person in the ring. I don’t know him other than what I see. The John in the ring is vicious and sinister. Dominant. I would say a monster. [sees John frowns] But that’s the only time I see that John. This John is the John I know and love dearly, and I guess no one sees that side of him, or even think that he’s even capable of it. He’s a very sweet person, so of course for me it’s scary at first, then I have that mindset.” [shrugs]

J: [stunned look] “Uh... wow.”

B: “It’s the truth. That’s what I think of you-- well, John in the ring.”

J: “Well what about... John in training?”

B: “Him? Oh jeez [counts on fingers] loud, ornery, obsessive... sometimes, I don’t even bother you when it gets close. He’s a jerk.”

J: “Ornery?”

B: “When he has to make weight, John doesn’t like it when I eat or --god forbid-- cook around him. I have to air out the house so he won’t get upset at not eating delicious food. He made me eat out on the porch a couple of times. He’s an asshole when he’s hungry. Imagine that for two weeks. The little things set him off. It drives me nuts. And it makes me want to wring his neck.”

J: “Yeah... I can’t lie on that.”

B: “The only good that comes out of it is that this [gestures over chest] looks great. [John looks exasperated] Oh, don’t give me that look. You said the same thing about my legs and ass when I ran track.”

J: “You’re rarely this... forthcoming with your thoughts.”

B: “Oh, sweetie, you should hear me when I’m at work. I brag about you all the time. Are you blushing?

J: “N-no?”

On Traveling:

J: “When I was younger, travelling was exciting. New places, new people, new cultures... Now? [sighs] It can be rough. Especially if it’s a overseas trip. I usually fly out the week before so I can get over the jet lag.”

B: “It’s rough when I can’t go.”

J: “It sucks, but it’s a sacrifice -- totally because Brian’s a nurse and honestly... it would be selfish of me take him out of a place where he’s needed, y’know?”

B: “He’s a little more nervous --just a teeny bit-- when he has to go by himself. I’m not there to calm him down. When I drop him off at the airport, it’s like... watching a warrior going to battle. Of course, I know he’s coming back, but it doesn’t make it less... dramatic?

J: “It is when we kiss.”

B: “Really?”

J: “I mean... I think about it the whole trip there. It’s a nice thought...”

B: “Ah. We got fussed at by security a couple of times because they’re not too keen on ~romance~. We’re not making out or anything like that.”

J: “That old guy?”

B: “Ugh, him. It’s always him too. I make it a point to piss him off when John comes back and I leap into his arms and give him the biggest kiss I can manage.

J: “Anyway, when we do travel together, we always fly if it’s far enough. Brian brings just about everything.”

B: “No, I don’t; I just like to be prepared.”

J: “Everything. I pack my clothes, my gear, headphones... that’s it. Brian packs like ten outfits knowing full well we’re not gonna be there that long and other things that are just...”

B: “I also like to have options. [nods. John sighs.] One time we flew to Japan-- I checked the weather before we left and it was cool -- John insisted that we didn’t need coats or anything like that, but I packed a few hoodies just in case. [beat] It was snowing when we got there. John only wore some short sleeves and jeans.”

J: “Okay, okay, so I got caught...”

B: “We got caught in the middle of a blizzard”. [gives a very pointed look]

J: [glares] “I like sitting at the window seat. Brian, though? A couple of times he’s had to swap seats to the emergency row because his seat is small.”

B: “Until we started springing for first class seats. It’s expensive, but it’s worth it. It’s one thing being tall, but when you’re wedged between two people... you get a little claustrophobic. In first class? Not a problem. We can sit next to each other and still have room to ourselves to sleep.”

J: “He’s really cute when he sleeps on the plane. Brian hates turbulance, so I hold his hand or, y’know, stroke his hair or something. The flight attendants always ask if he’s alright. They think it’s cute.”

B: “When we get to the hotel... we always get raised eyebrows. I mean, you see him, and then you see me, it’s like the beginning of a bad porno. ‘Twink Gets Stuffed By...’ eh, you get the idea.”

J: “I wouldn’t call it bad. I mean, bad would be out in the woods with Mother Nature and mosquitos joining in.”

B: “Or bears.”

J: “Or bea-- Brian.”

B: [laughs] “There’s this voice that he puts on too. I can’t describe it other than you remove the bass. Kinda like... when you talk in Filipino or something else.”

J: “It’s my friendly voice. When you have a voice like I do, it’s commanding and authoritive or something. So, to not frighten anyone, I speak higher. That’s it.”

B: “It’s too...”

J: “Fake?”

B: “Oh, absolutely. The rooms are always nice, so there’s that. One time we got a Junior suite... Best bed I’ve slept in.”

J: “It better be. I looked up the price of the bed. It was four thousand dollars.”

B: “No wonder rich people are always smiling...”

On ‘The Myth’:

B: “That myth is... It really depends. We’re still trying to find that sweet spot. A month is excessive.”

J: “A month is complete and utter bullshit.”

B: “See, it’s not a big deal for me because my wants are low to begin with; a month is no problem. Extra sex? Bonus. But John? I have never seen him so sexually frustrated on purpose in my life.”

J: “Not even--”

B: “No, because while it’s cute when you beg a little, I usually throw the bone after. This is like on a scale of one to one hundred, it was... a ninety-seven. You were like a cat in heat. A month long tease. And John doesn’t like being teased much. It pisses him off.”

J: “No sex for a month before a fight was the goddamn worst. I don’t know if it affected me because, that was the fastest fight I had. Knockout in 34 seconds in the first round. Caught ‘em with a liver shot with my knee.”

B: “It was a beautiful knee. Right after when the ref calls it, he looks like me like “Get your ass ready.” Soon as we got back to our hotel, I had very little warning... [looks at John] “I told him to hold back until we get home... he didn’t.”

J: “Hoo, yeah, no, I didn’t. I couldn’t wait.”

B: “It was a mess. I’m glad we had all those pillows around. I may have screamed.”

J: “Oh, don’t worry, it was a good scream.”

B: “I couldn’t walk straight for a week.”

J: [a rather pleased smile]

B: “A month is too excessive. For me on the receiving end. A couple of days? I can buy that.”

J: “A couple of days is fine, but... a month? Who the fuck thought that was a good idea? I thought I was going to pop...”

B: “You did. Repeatedly.”

On injuries:

B: “Injuries. [long sigh] They’re terrible. They’re terrible in general, but when it happens right in front of you, you just hope that they’re going to be okay after. When John fights, I just hope he wins with minimal scratches. That goes for his opponent too.”

J: “Injuries... they can and will happen. Do I want them to happen? Absolutely not because there’s nothing worst than training for half a year or whatever, and you get hurt and lose because of it. I’d rather lose by points and hell, a knockout before losing because of that. It sucks. And while I do fight hard, I never have the intention of injuring someone on purpose. Does that makes sense?

B: “Like, legal cheap shots?”

J: “Yeah. Those piss me off because that pretty much says, “I don’t know how to fight so I’ll do this instead.” It’s like in fighting games, you use that one power attack and nothing else.”

B: “What about the... ones that are pure bad luck?”

J: “The Benni fight. God, that was rough. [John leans back] I broke his leg. I know it sounds weird, but I’m glad it was a clean snap, they’re so much easier to put back together.”

B: [nods]

J: “The way he looked, his scream... I cried behind that. Obviously, I asked about him after he, uh, got to the hospital. Visited him even, and I apologized like almost every other word. He told me not get upset over it because -- it happens. It was an unlucky moment.

B: “He took that fight pretty hard and John started to hold back because of it. No one else recognized that, but I did.”

J: “Brian got on my ass about it. I mean, I’ve hit hard. I’ve broken someone else’s nose or, slashed their face with an elbow, knock a tooth out; you can bounce back from that easy, you name it, I probably did it, and I don’t mean to. But breaking someone’s leg? [he shakes his head] That’s life changing.”

B: “I did. Now, you wanna talk about the Shapiro fight or... both sides of it.”

J: “The Shapiro fight is the fight I [looks at Brian] almost died. It’s more of ‘getting into deep shit’. So, during the second round, my defense was absolute shit and he got a knee in when he clinched me. I heard two, maybe three pops. There’s a brief pause and he lets go. I’m ready to strike and... I remember feeling something hot [lifts up shirt, points to three lower ribs] around here and I couldn’t breathe. I was on the floor. Ref’s counting. It’s a dull pain, but nothing I can’t get back up from.

I get up. Ref gives the okay. When I took a breath, it felt like I got stabbed. I didn’t let Shapiro know by my face, but I guarded more. By the time he picked up on it, the round was done. I told my uncle ‘I broke something’. I was starting to feel dizzy. He asked me if I wanted to go on. I should’ve said no, and have him throw in the towel. My pride wouldn’t let me [laughs]. It was stupid of me--

B: “--and probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen him do--”

J: “--that’s fair. Third round starts. I’m barely holding it together. I set up a combo ,ends with a Superman punch. Boom. He goes down. Thank god I knocked him out... I don’t remember the rest, other than telling my uncle, ‘I can’t breathe. I’m gonna pass out. I’m gonna pass out--’I took this huge gasp [exaggerated gasp]... and then next thing I know, I’m at the hospital.”

B: “Before the third round started, I heard John and my heart sank. I knew he was going to go for it. I wanted to scream at him ‘don’t you do it’. He looked like hell. He looked like he was going to pass out the whole time. Honestly, I wished he did. After the fight, John was in trouble. He was hyperventilating, shaking. He passes out. I’m going crazy because he’s not moving. We get to the hospital. John’s broken 3 of his ribs, and one of them punctured his lung.”

J: “I was out for a month and a half. To say that Brian was pissed at me is an understatement. But saying that I almost died? C’mon, man. That’s too much.”

B: “You scared the shit out of me. And given what I see everyday at the hospital, that escalates quick. Hell, you really scared your mom.”

J: “She cursed me out. I’ve never seen her so angry in my life. Brian had to hold her back from trying to beat the shit out of my uncle.”

B: “Your mom is like a tiny wolverine; she wanted to fight everyone. I mean, she was right in feeling that way. Especially... y’know. You’re her only son now. I know that calling it, especially with something that, is a blow to your ego given what you said earlier. It sucks. I get it, but you live, so to speak, another day. Less recovery time.”

J: “Brian took it harder than I did, and I’m the one that fought. It made me reevaluate things when I saw him cry. Full on, soul baring cry. And one thing I promised to myself is to not make Brian cry over me. He starts crying, I start crying too. Like every time he looked at me, he’d just turn away so I wouldn’t see him.”

B: “The Shapiro fight was the stupidest thing he’s done. Other fights? I can live with.”

J: “That’s because you love the scars. Everyone loves them. The bad about mine is that, you can barely see them. My tattoos cover a lot of them up. If you’re good enough with elbows, you can fuck someone up. They are the sharpest point on your body. I got cut a couple of times. [pulls back hair] de la Rosa got me with this. Pissed me off more than anything else because I have a lot of hair and it takes a while to wash it. It kept it from really bleeding enough for a stopppage, so there’s that.”

B: “A lot of his opponents try to go for his face. Obviously.”

J: “I think they’re jealous. I always hear ‘I’m gonna bust up your pretty face’, ‘I’ll make you bleed’, so on, so forth. I never take it as an insult because, hey, they think I’m pretty.” [shrugs]

On defeat:

B: “When John loses... and he does, he takes it personally. Not as much as when we were younger, but he does.”

J: “I’m still working on it.”

B: “I have to let him mourn, but at the same time, I have to pull him out of it. That’s been... sort of my role in this. I give him three days. That’s enough time to cry together, mope together, emotional together... everything. The fourth day? I have to step in. Remind him that he’s come this far. It’s a learning opportunity. Great fighters have losThat’s all .”

J: “When I was younger, before Jake died, I promised I’d win every fight. I thought that, y’know, if I win, he’d get better. That... wasn’t the case. [sniffs] Even after he died, and I’d lose, I’d... beat myself up over it. Like I broke my promise to him. I take them very seriously.”

B: “He does.”

J: “When I’m beat, it’s usually by points. The worst defeat I’ve had was by 8 points.”

B: “The... Santiago fight?”

J: “Yep.”

B: “Ugh, those judges were awful. That whole fight was awful. Not as awful as getting knockout out. [shudders] It’s like you see his soul leave his body.”

J: “Oh my god, Brian.”

B: “I’m-- okay, of course when you’re knocked out, you don’t realize it. That’s the scary part of it -- he doesn’t quite fall at first, because, i-it’s a delay. His body keeps going. You look at his eyes, he’s not there. [he takes a breath] When he does fall, it’s quick. It’s like... a fish gulping for air. It’s for maybe thirty seconds and then he’s back up. Ugh...”

J: “It’s one thing to see it on tv, but when you see it up close, yeah, it’s uh... it’s brutal. I only remember what happens after. When I’m knocked out, it’s... different.”

B: “I can’t stand it... I was gung-ho at first, but, when we became boyfriends and watching him fight... it’s just scary. I’ll go for support, but it’s getting hard for me to watch him. I’m scared that...”

J: [grabs Brian’s hand] “I don’t hold it against it when he doesn’t want to go with me.”

B: “Not any more.”

J: “I can’t trust anyone else to braid my hair like you do...” [kisses hand. Brian smiles]

B: “Among other things.”

On Watching the Fight:

B: “I can watch most of it. When we started dating? Oh, I could barely stand it. I peeked through my fingers. John knows I’m there in the corner. I try not to yell. I can’t guarantee it when Noelle [John’s mother] is with me though. She’s contagious. I know you can’t hear us.”

J: “I do. You have a distinct voice.”

B: [shocked] “Really? Oh, boy, I’ve said... I’ve said some wild things.”

J: “He’s a shit talker. Like, I barely do it, but Brian? Oh my god. I don’t know which fight he said something about...”

B: “I said that the opponent moved as fast as my grandmother. [beat] She’s been dead for twenty years.”

J: [hearty laugh] “Jesus Christ, Brian!”

B: “I know, it’s terrible, but it was the truth! He was moving in slow motion. John took him out in the first round.”

J: “I’m surprised it hasn’t gotten you in trouble.”

B: “The key to great shit talking is knowing when to stop. It’s an art form. But the one thing I always love, no matter what, is his entrance.”

J: “Oh, are you going to gush again?”

B: “Yes, John, yes. I am. You don’t get to be humble again! When he’s announced, [in ‘radio’ voice] ‘Johnathan V! R! Davidson!’ [in normal voice] in so many languages and he walks out. Music’s blarin’, crowd is going apeshit. You can see the fire in his eyes. You can feel just the raw and absolute power he has when he stands there!

J: [noticibly blushing and trying to keep it together]

B: “The way he walks down the path... the swagger and confidence! It’s like he’s won the fight already and it hasn’t started. John... [sighs lovingly] John, you’re extremely sexy. I don’t throw that word around lightly. I should tell you that way more often!”

J: [his face is beet red]

B: “I don’t know what my favorite colors on him. Any color is good on him. I would say... man, a tie between all black and all white. Probably white. You can see blood better. Mm! And the way John moves during his war dance? It’s hypnotizing. [looks at John with a lascivious smile] Did it get hot in here or is it just me...?”

J: “Brian... mahal...”

B: “Oh, fine. How about this: it make me feel super gay for you. Most days I’m regular gay. But then? [scoffs] Holy shit. I feel blessed.”

J: “Didn’t know you had levels...”

B: “Well, now you know!

On Children:

B: “That’s... hmm.”

J: “Hmm... I think if we have kids, we’ll teach them how to fight. For defense and discipline. If they want to be like papa, great. If they don’t, great. I’m -- we’re not gonna push that on them. It wouldn’t be fair.”

B: “How did you and Jacob get into fighting anyway?”

J: “My uncle and aunt babysat us and we’d watch him going through his drills in the gym and given that we were both two wild and impressionable five year olds... my dad was actually the one to be cautious. Ina, on the other hand, she was for it. She practiced Arnis and, y’know, she was one of the top women in the nation, so...”

B: “That’s where he gets his competitiveness from.”

J: “It was more like ‘let’s see where this goes’. I think... that’s a good approach to it, right?”

B: “Yeah. A healthy approach to it.”

J: “But... if they choose to follow my path... that’s going to be hard. We’re gonna be the dads that have like, journeys watching our kids fight.”

B: “I don’t think I could take it. I have a hard enough time watching you fight.”

J: “It drove my dad crazy when me and Jake fought each other. Maybe... maybe we can wait until they’re teenagers. I mean, I’ve been fighting since I was five. That’s fucking crazy when you think about it. Well-- wait, I didn’t start competing until I was seven.”

B: “No, you had it right. You’ve been fighting your whole life.”

J: “It’s... gotten me through some tough times. A good outlet, if nothing else. I think I’d be a totally different person if I hadn’t started fighting. But... yeah, you’re right.”

Closing:

B: “Our relationship is uncommon for a lot of reasons, but I feel like it’s unique. There’s not a lot of... [thoughtful look], what would you say, John?”

J: “Uh, I’d say, it’s not for everyone. It requires a lot of communication and it also requires to really know and understand each other. We get into battle mode when I have my date. It’s the same thing I did for him when he went through med school; I made sure he was ready for tests and exams and whatever I could do to help him succeed. Brian makes sure that... I don’t do stupid shit when I’m training, he pulls me out of what place I go to. We’re so used to it, it’s second nature.”

B: “I’m there for him when he gets anxious, to listen to him. I’m there to get him through an injury he might get.”

J: “Yeah, Brian doesn’t... like to bring his work persona home, but, I dunno. I like him.”

B: “Oh yeah?”

J: “He’s sweet and gentle, doesn’t patronize me... doesn’t call me an asshole when I do something dumb.”

B: [laughs]

J: “Like everything, we just take it one day at a time. It’s a process. There’s ups and downs, plot twists, disappointments... it’s revealed flaws that we have, but it’s also made us stronger together. It’s a journey. It’s given us opportunities that neither of us probably never thought about.”

B: “Like paying off student loans, this house, not eating ramen every other night...”

J: “Sleep.”

B: “Oh, my god, sleep.”

J: “So, like I said. It’s a process, we’re taking it day by day. I don’t have a better person to be with than Brian. Love you.” [leans in and kisses Brian on the cheek before pressing his forehead against his.]

B: [smiles] “Love you too. [beat] Don’t think you’re getting out of doing the dishes tonight.”

J: [laughs] “It was worth a shot...”

#oc: john #oc: brian #oc pair: healing hands #a text post #non sims #long post #rip mobile users #i worked on this for two days lmao #but i couldn't stop thinking about a faux-interview idea when i read the article #i touched on most of the things but... yeah #oc things #i love dumb shit like this

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