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grimtrespasser · 3 years

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Okay so,, I kinda,,,, came up with a whole au in which Anakin and Padmé are t4t, cause I was mad at Star Wars again, dicking around in my friend’s DMs, and I joked they’d have a way better relationship if they were and it kinda,,, spiraled skdks. It just dredged up a lot of follow up questions about how that’d affect the continuity and now it’s my self indulgent Anakin/Padmé/Rex fixit. So uhhh… some notes I have about the t4t au!

• obviously, first off, Padmé is a trans woman and Anakin is a trans man

• Luke and Ahsoka are also trans in this au because I said so

• When Luke officially comes out as trans Padmé jokes that he gets it from Rex’s side of the family much to Anakin’s delight and Rex’s complete confusion

• I’m under no circumstances killing Fives in this au that shit hurt me, so in this one he’s frazzled by the discovery of Palpatine but Rex and Anakin actually listen when he calls them to that warehouse and when authorities arrive they claim he was shot and fell over the edge into the center of Coruscant when in reality they call in some favors to smuggle him away safely

• Because they discover the chips through Fives so early on, they’re able to start covertly de-chipping some of the clones (with a lil jedi assistance à la Anakin and Shaak Ti), they obviously don’t manage to remove the chips of all the clones but they get a fair chunk saving themselves a lOt of pain come Order 66

• Mmmm big fan of Rex’s stiff awkward phase when he first starts attempting non-professional relationships, he’s a bit better by the time he starts crushing on Anakin and even more so when he falls for Padmé but bOy howdy does it take him awhile to just fuckin relax around them

• Rex, consistently getting crushes on badass dudes: I think I’m gay

Padmé: Hello, commander :)

Rex: hahaha bi panic: activate

• Legit he’s so awkward and uncomfortable in casual contexts I love him for that

• So I think a few critical changes are what push Anakin away from the dark side in this au:

1) When Fives uncovers the conspiracy, though by this point Anakin is friends with Palpatine and has a hard time reconciling what Fives saw and the existence of the chips with who he’s come to know Palpatine as

2) His decent fucking support system because holy fUck how do you have a whole found family network and yet they stILL fail to actually support you the whole damn way?? Obi-Wan doesn’t tell him his emotionality is dark side stuff! The council doesn’t just tell him to repress shit! His relationship with Padmé gets actual fuckin development and is actually healthy in this au!! FffUck

3) The twins, cause duh. They obviously happen at the very end of the Clone Wars so Anakin getting pregnant is what leads up to his final loss of trust in Palpatine and his decision to stick up for himself and his family against what the council might potentially say.

• Ahsoka still leaves the Jedi Order in this au cause I think it’s just too pivotal an aspect of her character, and at first Anakin is angry and betrayed but eventually he comes to accept it was the best option for her and doesn’t resent her for her choice. Especially after finding out about the twins and realizing his family won’t be readily accepted by the Order even though both are incredibly important to him

• Ahsoka is the one who tells him it’s twins, I just think it’d be hilarious if Kix’s initial tests really early on didn’t reveal that so when Anakin got Obi-Wan and Ahsoka together to break the news Ahsoka sensed both the kids through the living force and just went “Oh my gosh you’re having twins!” Right before Anakin could say he was pregnant, and his brain just breaks cause like…. Twins?? Oh god, twins????

• In turn Padmé almost chokes on her tea and Rex nearly fuckin faints when Anakin has to tell them it’s twins, like they had jUst come to terms with one baby and now they know it’s gonna be two and they are going thrOugh it

• Really want Anakin to just,,, go off and get really anti-government at some point. Like the more he becomes aware of his garbage circumstances at the Order and working for the Republic, the more he starts to recognize his childhood experiences in the clones’ situation, and the angrier he gets at the systems in power that facilitated all this injustice. He’s just never been afforded the chance at being free, so once he starts asking questions, he starts seeing what’s behind the curtain real fuckin quick. Except this time he’s got the support system to channel that anger into productivity rather than letting it consume him.

• I’m a big fan of the Anakin Doesn’t Turn But The Empire Still Rises AUs so this one follows a similar continuity. After all, Anakin was just a particularly close pawn, Palpatine still had a million other ways to ensure he came out on top, so when everything breaks bad Anakin escapes with Padmé, the twins, and his battalion. And because they were alerted to Palpatine’s plans by Fives they had an extended escape plan with a handful of other battalions, including the 212th and the Wolf Pack. A lot of them help build up the rebellion or become involved with it later down the line, once the movement starts to gain more traction.

Will I do anything with this au? Who knows! Buts it’s certainly fun for me to think about and I’m always coming up with random new details, so we’ll just see where my spite and curiosity takes me with this one. At the very least I’ve already got some doodles I might post later

#star wars #t4t au #clone wars #toxic gatekeeper Star Wars fans do nOT touch this post #this is my dumb lil sandbox and I get to choose the transification beam coordinates #anakin skywalker #padme amidala #rex clone wars #fives clone wars #luke skywalker #leia organa #ashoka tano #palpatine

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jammatown919 · 3 years

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Astraphobia

I haven’t actually gotten as far as this point in my rewatch yet so I apologize for any inconsistencies! Also fair warning, this fic is entirely me projecting my astraphobia and paranoia revolving around storms onto Pidge.

Time was incredibly strange in the Galaxy Garrison's infirmary. Rationally, Lance knew he'd only been there for about a week, but he felt as if he'd been laying in bed for months.

It hadn't been quite so bad at first. He'd been so exhausted that he'd had no trouble sleeping the first few days away, but now that he was feeling more like himself, he was starting to become restless. He thought that was why he was so excited to hear the familiar sound of rain beating against his window.

It had been a long time since his last good storm, and even longer since he'd been able to gather at a window with his siblings and watch the rain fall. His siblings weren't with him tonight, and wouldn't be until morning, but the other Paladins were right in the same hall. Hopefully at least one of them would be up for watching the rain with him.

He knew immediately who he wanted to try first. Months ago, at the beginning of their relationship, Lance had promised Pidge that he'd take her on a date as soon as they got home, and while this wasn't exactly what they'd had in mind, he thought it was a decent alternative while they were stuck in the infirmary.

Thunder crashed overhead as Lance hauled himself out of bed, taking a moment to steady his wobbling legs. Once he was sure he wasn't going to fall, he crossed the room and changed into a more comfortable outfit his mother had brought for him earlier in the week, and then he was off.

He remembered being told on his first day here that Pidge's room was directly to the left of his, so that was where he went. He smiled as he came to her door, only just realizing how much he'd missed her this past week. It was longest they'd been apart in a long time.

"Oh, Pidge," he called in a soft, sing-song voice, knocking gently on her door. "Your Lance is here."

No response. She must have still been asleep.

Lance reached for the door handle and found it unlocked, so he pushed the door open and stepped into the room. Just as he entered, lightning struck somewhere outside, illuminating the room long enough for him to realize that Pidge wasn't in bed.

"Pidge?" he called again, fumbling for the light switch. For a moment, he thought he could hear a faint whimper, barely audible through the rumbling the thunder.

Finally, his hand caught the light switch and he could see again. It was then that he noticed a small form huddled in the space underneath the bed.

"Pidge!" He was at her side in an instant, dropping down to study her as he struggled to reach her in the tight confines of the space.

Her eyes were squeezed shut, in pain or fear he didn't know, and her hands pressed firmly to her ears. Without thinking, placed a hand on her arm, only to have it quickly and harshly slapped away. Only then did she open her eyes and look at him, relaxing slightly as she realized who it was.

"Lance?" she asked unsteadily, straightening as much as the bed above her would allow.

"I'm here," he told her softly. "What's wrong? Why are you under the bed?"

Pidge looked away as if embarrassed, and was ultimately saved from having to answer by another loud crash of thunder. She flinched hard and her hands flew back to her ears. Oh, Lance realized at last, she's afraid of the storm.

"Go away!" Pidge snapped, completely unprompted. In a smaller voice, she added, "I don't want you to see me like this."

"Pigeon," Lance crooned, half-expecting her to snap at him again for the nickname. She didn't. "There's nothing to be ashamed of. So what if you're scared of thunderstorms? Everyone's scared of something."

"But it's completely irrational." Pidge sounded close to tears as she removed her hands from her head, hovering them close to her ears in case the need arose to cover them again. "I know it can't hurt me, but I'm still hiding under the bed like a little kid."

"Doesn't matter how irrational it is," Lance insisted. "You're allowed to be scared. Although, I'm still not sure why you're under the bed. You could have come to me."

"I was actually going to go to Green," Pidge admitted. "I figured I wouldn't be able to hear as much in the hangar. Plus, she always makes me feel safe."

"So why didn't you?"

"I have this... paranoid delusion, I guess would be the name for it," she sighed. "About the ceiling caving in. The storm got bad really fast and I just had to hide."

"Where'd you get that idea?" Lance asked. She seemed a bit calmer now, so he figured that talking was helping her keep her mind off the sounds outside.

"Started when I was eight," she began, lowering her arms to wrap them around her knees. "There was a storm one night, and I woke up to water dripping on my face. I was terrified because I thought that meant the ceiling was breaking and about to collapse on me, and I guess I just never let it go."

"So you feel safer under the bed?"

"A little." Pidge flinched as the sound of raindrops beating against the window suddenly increased. "You don't... have to stay."

"Are you kidding?" Lance asked, a little indignantly. "I'm not leaving you like this. Besides, I came here to see if you wanted to watch the storm together."

"I don't think I'll be able to do much watching."

"That's alright." He settled into a more comfortable position on the floor. "We can stay right here, if that's what feels safest for you."

Pidge's expression softened, a bit of the tension disappearing from her tight shoulders.

"What'd I ever do to deserve a boyfriend like you?" she asked fondly.

"I am pretty great, aren't I?" Lance replied with a small burst of pride. She laughed and elbowed his ribs.

"I guess you're alright," she teased. "Just don't let it go to your head."

"Aw, c'mon," he insisted, grinning brightly. "You know you love me."

"Yeah," she sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. He put an arm around her in return. "I do."

----

If you enjoyed this piece, please consider reblogging to share it with others! Reblogs are the only way a post is able to gain any traction on this site, and they’re also the best way to let a content creator know you appreciate their work.

#voltron: legendary defender #lance mcclain #pidge gunderson #katie holt #plance #no proofreading we die like men #this was actually incredibly difficult to finish because I gained a new hyperfixation in the middle of writing it #I'm glad to have done it though #my writing

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no-whump-on-main · 3 years

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Apartment 307-8 (Grabbed by the hair)

Hi guys!! I'm so sorry it took me so long to update. School and work have been crazy but luckily I'm out of school next week so I'll have much more time and be posting more frequently! Apologies for the short chapter, I have no idea why but it just kicked my butt lol. I tried doing some cool multimedia stuff, I hope you enjoy! This is @sableflynn's BTHB request, grabbed by the hair.

TWs: Creepy, possessive whumper, mention of branding, also this chapter made me sad bc I love my mom and Elora's mom is sad so warning for that lmao

Elora was still lying there crying hours later. The tears had slowed from her initial keening sobs, but they still fell steadily down her face, accumulating in a small puddle on the tile by her head. She could see a bit of her reflection in the salty water; just her eyes, mostly. She saw green eyes that had once been so full of hope and life that were fading, the slow abandonment of hope almost making them gray out. She wanted to lie there forever, staring into her own eyes, until oblivion took her. If she cleared her head enough, she could pretend she was elsewhere, somewhere warm and loving; the blanket draped over her body did help with the fantasy, though she always knew somewhere in the back of her head that it was just that: a fantasy. She was still here. With him.

Clyde tried to give her time to recover, but his patience wore eventually. He began to get antsy after a few hours of watching her lie there, doing nothing but cry. Admittedly, he did enjoy it at first-seeing her so weak, so docile, because of him-but it eventually grew tiresome. Watching each tear drip down into the puddle became like watching paint dry.

He stood up abruptly. Elora was startled by the motion, flinching before stilling and watching him very carefully. What was he going to do?

“Get up,” he said simply.

Elora froze. She still felt sick, dizzy with pain and the lingering scent of her burning flesh in the bathroom. But why would he care about that? Why should she disobey him, when she knew what would happen?

Yet pride and pain got the better of her again.

“I can’t,” she whimpered. She felt weak. “I hurt. You hurt me.”

The piercing sound of a loud, sudden laugh began to echo through the bathroom. It reminded Elora of the laugh of a hyena. She winced.

“Darling, did you not think that was the point?”

Her expression hardened and her heart thumped in her chest. That was the point. She wanted to say something, but her mouth suddenly got dry.

The man simply grinned. “Get up,” he repeated, but she didn’t. She just laid there, dumbfounded.

He groaned angrily, rolling his eyes. “Fine,” he grumbled. “Be that way.”

He gathered up her hair in his hand, locked his fingers in a tight fist, and pulled up. Elora yelped and scrambled to get to her feet to relieve the pain, but he didn’t give her the chance; he carelessly dragged her off, out of the bathroom, through the hallway, and into the living room. She screamed and thrashed wildly, her hands desperately trying to push him away as her scalp burned like fire. Again and again, her feet scraped the ground to no avail, kicking and kicking but never able to gain enough traction to stand as she was mercilessly dragged. The man finally dropped her on the floor at the foot of a worn leather couch, releasing his death grip on her hair. Her hands immediately flew up to her head, applying gentle pressure to her scalp to try to ease the burning pain as she looked around the new room.

The living room was barren, like the man had half moved into it then given up. There was a dusty box in the corner, the couch, a worn coffee table, a small stand, and an old TV. Other than that, it was empty, in an eerie way. The aged carpet spanned the floor like an ocean.

The pressure didn’t do much and Elora dropped her hands, still wincing as the man plopped himself on the couch behind her, the leather making a loud crackling noise as he sat. She whipped her head around as her shoulders raised up to her ears instinctively. The man made a sour face, his features twisting into an ugly frown.

“Relax,” he commanded, forcefully pushing her shoulders down. At first, she tried to wiggle away, but that idea was abandoned when he tightened his grip, clearly as a warning. He grabbed the TV remote from the arm of the couch and turned it on. It started on some history channel documentary about cars, but Clyde quickly flipped through channels until he found the local news station.

A grin spread across his face as he read the blue banner spanning across the bottom of the screen. They were just in time.

UP NEXT: CAPE COD GIRL GOES MISSING; DESPERATE MOTHER PLEADS FOR HER RETURN

His hands wandered to Elora’s scalp and began to gently card through her hair. She inhaled sharply, and it took everything she had in her not to immediately shove him off. Somehow the gentleness felt worse than the pain; the false sense of care disgusted her. He was a maniac. He hurt her, he branded her, and now he was sitting on the couch petting her hair, pretending like none of it happened. It didn’t escape her attention how he set her on the floor instead of the couch, below him, like a dog.

The banner was bad enough, but she felt sick to her stomach when the station cut to a reporter sitting at a desk with a picture of her on half of the screen. It was the picture her mom took of her at the orchard last fall. It was candid; she remembered it. She was intently focused on a butterfly off on a tree, ignoring her mom as she snapped the photo. It was one of her favorite pictures of herself. And now, it was plastered all over the news.

The reporter on the TV began to speak. “Tonight, a desperate mother pleads for her missing daughter’s safe return. Elora Larkin, nineteen, of Barnstable county, Massachusetts has been missing since Friday night. She was last seen walking home from her job at Agathangelou’s bakery, wearing khakis, a black t-shirt, and black sneakers. The police have opened a tip line and are offering an unspecified reward for any information that leads to Miss Larkin.”

Elora felt a lurching sensation in her stomach, so visceral she wanted to throw up. That was her. On the news. Gone. Missing.

Behind her, the man chuckled.

“Look at that, baby. You’re all over New England.”

“I’m not your baby,” she snapped, turning around. But her head was spinning. All over New England? It wasn’t the Cape Cod news station on the TV. It wasn’t even a state news channel. It was entirely unfamiliar, the reporter’s face one she’d never seen.. So he’d taken her across state lines, making her chances of being found lower yet.

The man shushed her and put a finger up to her lips. “Watch.” She almost bit him, but decided it wasn’t worth the inevitable punishment that would follow. Besides, they might say something useful, something that could help her. She needed to pay attention.

The screen changed, and a missing persons poster popped up. Hers.

It was up for a minute before it faded away as the reporter came back on the screen.

“Such a sad story. Everyone in the studio is hoping and praying for her safe return. Unfortunately, vigilance is so important in this day and age. Up next, we have a recording of a press conference with the girl’s mother.

The girl’s mother. Her mother. Elora felt her heartbeat thumping in her chest.

And there she was. Jodie was standing at a podium in a building that had to be a police station. Demetrios was standing by her side, offering support by merely being present. While Elora hadn’t seen him cry even once in all the years she’d known him, he now looked like he was on the verge of tears.

Her mom started to speak. She looked so sad. Withered, like the life had been sucked out of her, from fear and overthinking and sleepless nights.

“My daughter-My daughter Elora has been missing since Friday night. She’s got-she’s got blonde hair, and green eyes, and she’s real tall. I’m sure pictures have gone around by now. She was walking home from work and-and then she disappeared. We were supposed to have dinner Sunday and she never came. It was supposed to be her weekend off. I- If someone has her, please, I’m begging you, let her go. Bring her home safe. She’s a good kid, she works hard, she rescues cats in her spare time...she doesn’t deserve this. And Elora, if you’re seeing this, I love you. I love you so much, honey. If you chose to leave, please just tell us you’re okay. It’s okay. You can go see the world, just tell us you’re okay. And if something-something bad happened, we’re gonna find you. I promise, baby, I love you and we’re gonna bring you home. Promise.”

At that point, she set the microphone down and began to cry, tears streaming down her face as she hurried off to an exit, the cameras following her for a few moments. Elora’s heart twisted in knots. Seeing her mom’s face brought her so much joy, yet knowing how worried she had to be made her feel sick with guilt.

But she promised. She promised she’d find her.

“That your mom?”

Elora stilled. He already knew the answer.

"She’s kinda pathetic. Could barely keep it together long enough to tell them about you.”

She went cold. “Stop,” she seethed. Her voice was eerily calm, given her anger.

"Or what?” he replied, twisting her hair up in his hand and giving it another tug.

Elora was silent. There was no or what. She knew that.

The reporter came back on the screen.

“Well, folks, that’s all we have on the case for tonight. Remember to be safe and vigilant. This has been Hannah Brown with News12.”

The man released her hair, picked up the remote, and turned off the T.V.

“Notice how they only talked about you, not me?”

Elora turned her head around. She was crying.

“What?”

He scoffed. “I said, notice how they only ran their mouths about you the whole time. Never said a word about me. You know what that means? They don’t know jack shit about me. They don’t know who you’re with or where you are. I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but we’re in Connecticut. We crossed state lines twice. They’re never going to find you, you know that?

She tried to hide it, but he could see her expression falling with every word he said, hope beginning to seep out of her. She shook her head vigorously, her bottom lip trembling.

“N-no! No, they will, you’re just crazy! You’re just fucking crazy!”

A scowl formed on his lips. “No, they won’t.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but in a split second, his hand was gripping tightly around her throat, cutting off her air. Her eyes went wide.

“No one is coming to save you.”

Elora swallowed, fear bright in her eyes. She tried to rip herself away, but the man raked his fingers across the fresh brand on her collarbone, sending her to the ground, keeling in pain.

“We could’ve had a nice evening if you behaved. Listened,” he grumbled, standing and once again grabbing her hair tightly before dragging her off towards the bathroom.

Tags: @exploringspaceinpyjamas @all-whumped-out @badthingshappenbingo

#bad things happen bingo #whump #whump fic #whump writing #my writing #whumper #human whumpee #possessive whumper #creepy whumper #Elora #elora larkin #lady whump #whump blog #psychological whump #physical whump #apartment 307

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1000roughdrafts · 3 years

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Family Secrets: Chapter Seventeen

God, are you out there? Oh, right, that’s me.

Summary: Allanah connects you with Nathan, a man who might have the answers you seek, but will he be wiling to share that information with you?

A/N: I completely lost interest in this series, and had no real intentions of picking it back up because I didn't think anyone would actually care to read it. Its my least popular series after all. Then, recently, it started to gain a bit of traction, and i got a request to finish it. so I re-read what I've already posted and after cringing and laughing a bit at my past self, I started working on an ending to it. This is the start to that ending. Thank you to @hannahcoursey for the push to finish this. It definitely needed closure. This chapter is a bit slow paced, but only so that I could tie up some loose ends and get back into the groove of this series.

Warnings: cursing, some angst, much suspense,

W/C: 2.3k

Standing on the roof of a desolate parking garage as you wait for Dan, you’re safe from the worst of the storm for now. As the day fades into night, the waters start to calm and you keep your eyes on the streets that have turned to small rivers. With your arms bundled tightly against your wet body, your jaw chatters from the cold.

Everything up until this moment had been moving so fast. It had been one thing after another, not allowing you any time to think, let alone process any thoughts that did manage to slip through. And the ones that do sneak past your guards crush you. Back on Earth you reach out in your most desperate moments for a God that, should he exist, doesn’t know or care about your existence, much like you hadn’t known about the exist of those praying for your help.

Ignoring Sam and Allanah as they mumble behind you, you keep your attention on the mostly wiped out town, and you can’t help but to feel responsible for it all. You were the one to create it in the first place. How could you be so selfish as to create a world and neglect it for thousands of years?

Now, though, as you stand still, just waiting in the near silence, your mind roams to the darkest and apparently the loudest parts of these thoughts. They write themselves on your face, broadcasting to those around you just how destroyed you feel.

Sam removes his jacket, draping it around your shoulders and nods at his brother. Dean, now at your side, wraps his arm around you and you lean into him, accepting the embrace without removing your eyes from the damage that surrounds you. However, the more you think about the town’s ruination, the less of it you can see. Through blurred vision, you take your eyes off the town and turn to Dean.

He pulls you completely into him, staying silent as he wraps his arms tightly around you. The comfort he provides you with is all you needed in order to let go. Tears fall quietly as he rubs your back, cooing and shushing you. A third hand rubs a soft circle on your back and between your shoulder blades and you turn around to see Allanah. Standing behind her is Dan and Nathan. They talk amongst each other in hushed tones. After a short moment, they turn to face you, taking slow steps over.

”Allanah, good to see you,” he says with a nod. Your eyes squint as you look over at her tight smile, and you make a mental note to ask her how they knew each other prior to this wretched day if her instructions had been to not intervene. “Y/N, Sam, Dean, this is Nathan,” he says, palm up, gesturing to the old man. “Nathan, these are the people I was telling you about.”

Nathan nods somberly, and to your annoyance, speaks slowly. “It’s nice to meet you,” he says, taking in a deep and heavy breath as he glances around, “although unfortunate for the circumstances.” If you hadn’t been watching him so closely, you might have missed his smirk. He looks at Dan, clearing his throat, “uh, Dan says you have some questions for me?”

You walk towards him, standing only a few feet away, “sorry to cut to the chase here, but I want to know what you meant when you told Tullie that ‘you never know who is listening’.”

His eyebrows furrow. You suppose Dan left that part out when talking with him prior. “How - how,” he starts looking over at Dan, then back at you, “how do you know about that? That was a private conversation.”

“These are the creators,” Allanah says softly, pointing at you and Dean before moving to stand by your side, “well, not exactly them per se, but their souls,” she sighs, “it’s a long story.”

You try your best to remain calm, but the more time that passes means the less time you have to save the people you came here for to begin with. A knot ties in your chest, and your heart thumps rapidly.

“Well, all right,” Nathan says slowly. “Look, I’m not sure what your intentions were in building or creating this world, but,” he sighs, shaking his head, “things haven’t gone right for a while. The separation between regions has become bloody, and that’s not even the worst of it. People in Ira are fighting for their lives. Their hospitals are overcrowded, and not equipped enough to handle what’s happening. Nor are the others!” he shouts, throwing his hands in the air.

Despite your reservations about the man, you can understand why he’s so frustrated. Before you knew this world existed you questioned whether or not God on Earth is real, and if he is, how could he let such horrible things happen? Has he forgotten about Earth the way you and Dean forgot about Teraw and the other regions? Or has he moved on all together, starting anew?

“By the sounds of it, they never were,” you sigh. “I’m very sorry for the state of this world, and I’m incredibly embarrassed that something I created has turned into a place that fosters such evil, but we don’t have time to be talking about the history of this hell like we’re at a fucking tea party,” you say, voice elevating. “If I had it my way, this whole world would never have been created in the first place, but past me was a selfish bitch, and I’m here to correct her wrongs. Luna, Ana, Tullie and two men are currently tied to chairs in Mr. Grant’s house, and we’re here talking formalities. In fact,” you say, “hours have already passed, so we may not even know where they are now,” the words scratch your throat on their way out.

“With all due respect, Nathan,” Allanah starts, “she has a point. Time is of the essence here,” she pleads, “at a later time I’m sure we’ll be able to discuss what needs fixing here, but our top priority needs to be finding them.”

“If it’s because you’re worried he’s going to hear you,” you say in a calmer voice, “it’s all over. It won’t even matter once I get my hands on him.”

“Fine,” Nathan sighs, “it’s not exactly a secret,” he scoffs. “I mean, half the town knows that he spies on us.”

“What do you mean by spying? Hidden cameras, recorders, people undercover, voodoo? I mean, what?” Dean impatiently spits, nearing your level of irritation.

“Spells,” he says, “location spells, peeping spells, the like.”

Sam’s eyes squint, ever the observant one, he says, “why are you so hesitant to share with us? What are you so afraid of?”

Nathan steps closer, “I have a family to protect!” He shouts.

“So do we!“ you say, matching the ferocity in his tone, “and we’re here to save them, and through that, we could save yours.”

He shakes his head, “you don’t know him like I do.”

“Enlighten us, then,” Dean shrugs.

”By doing so, I would be committing a crime comparable to no others,” he says, eyes focused on the ground, “I just can’t divulge any further information. I’m sorry,” he says, turning to walk away.

“What does he have on you?” Sam shouts after him.

“What does it matter?” You glare. “Do you know where he lives, Nathan?” You ask.

He turns to face you, and you notice the hesitation on his face. Asking again, more aggressively, he nods.

“Take us there,” you say, taking a step only to be stopped by Dean throwing his arm in front of you.

“Y/N, wait,” he interjects, gripping onto your arm. “He saw us there, he’ll know we’re coming. We need to be smart about this, come up with a plan,” he says in a low whisper.

“That’s the only advantage he has,“ you frown, “since we have been there, we’ll know where to hide until we’re ready to attack. Then, once we have them, we’ll be able to take him down from there. Sounds like a fine plan to me,” you shrug.

Allanah steps in, her hand resting gently on your shoulder, “I’m afraid Dean is right.” She turns her body towards you, gesturing towards the ledge to step away from the group, “a moment, please.”

Following her over, you fold your arms in front of you. With soft eyes, and a soft smile, Allanah sets her hand on your forearm. “Y/N, I hate to sound blunt here, but you’re acting a bit like your late partner.”

Your eyes widen at the comparison, and you drop your arms to your side, “what?”

“You’re bloodthirsty and I completely understand why, but it’s blinding you. We all want nothing more than to save them, but this abrasive and zealous nature you’ve taken on is likely to get us all killed if you don’t take a step back and realize that.”

Rolling your eyes, you look away to glance at the purple sky, remembering the night for what seems like the millionth time. You remember the way you pleaded with Jolie to wait until you had more people, a better plan, but her desire to gain revenge in the name of her son is what took her life. You want to hate Allanah for speaking truth, for reminding you yet again of such a painful memory, but you can only blame yourself for letting this get the better of you.

Witch a sigh, you relax your body, “fine. You’re right,” you concede.

“I know,” she smiles somberly, her hand finding its way back onto your arm. “Listen, we’re going to get them back safe, I promise you that. But to be honest, I think it’s time to reunite them with our world,” she says. “It’s ultimately a decision for you and Dean to make, but I believe that it’s time to bring this world to its end. It was created in vein, and I empathize with your mindset at the time of creation, however due to these circumstances, I’m afraid the foundation is rocky, and these things, no matter who is here, will keep happening until we put a stop to it for good.”

Pausing for a moment, you soak in this information, “how do we do that?” You ask.

"I'm not sure, yet," she says, letting her eyes fall to the concrete you stand on. "I'd have to think back on what you two did to create it and try to reverse that somehow, but with no powers here, I'm afraid that's going to be easier said than done."

Letting out an exasperated sigh, you look around at the falling sky and swimming infrastructure. Shaking your head, you look back at Allanah, “I can’t give up on this place. Not like Earth’s God did,” you sigh. “In a last ditch effort to save lives,” you say, tilting your head, “I’ll entertain the idea, but for now… I have to try and do right by the people here and fix what I started.”

Allanah nods, “I understand,“ she says with a smile. “Then we’ll figure it out.”

After a brief moment of thought, you question the events leading up to this moment, much like you had earlier, and before you could stop it, you blurt out, “can I ask you something?”

Allanah nods, “anything.”

"Why did you take me from my family?" you utter, grateful for the cutting wind that prevents the tears from falling.

She sighs, “honey, I never wanted to come clean about this as to not taint your view of your father, but,” she sighs again, “Mary wasn’t the only one in the Winchester’s circle to make a deal with Yellow Eyes. Your father, he,” she pauses, looking away, “he couldn’t have known what was to come. You know how sly and manipulative demons can be, and Yellow Eyes,” she shakes her head, her eyes meeting back with yours, “he was by far the worst I’d encountered. I had already begun my operation to build a coven, and despite what you may think I never took children from the clutches of loving families, but rather, like in your case, saved them from evil. Soon after your birth, he kidnapped you, and once I caught wind of it, I’d already begun to gain memories of this world. I absolutely knew I had to save you. It cost me a great deal of trouble, but I would stop at nothing in order to keep you safe.”

You scoff, crossing your arms, “if that were true, why were you so vicious when you had me? The memories you forced me to see all over again, the way you talked about the Winchester’s. You made me question my entire life,” you spit.

In an effort to gain control of the conversation, Allanah steps closer to you, “I know it’s unforgivable, but I needed to make sure you would stay away from him until we were ready. It was absolutely the wrong way to go about it, and I understand that now, but I was trying to make sure you remembered your powers, how to access them.”

“You had me shaking in anger! What would you have done if I killed him?” You shout, never minding how the guys look over in worry.

Allanah, however, does notice, and smiles at them before lowering her tone to a soft whisper, “I knew you wouldn’t. The bond you two share, as you know, goes beyond and deeper than a single lifetime. But, if it had gotten to that point, I’d have intervened.”

The lies are endless, and right now, you can’t even bare to look at her. Glancing back at the others, you’re immediately distracted by the disappearance of Nathan and Dan. “Hey!” you shout at Dean, “where the hell did he go?”

Dean shrugs as you storm over, “I tried to stop them,” he says breathlessly, “before I could get my hands on him, the bastard zapped outta here.”

“Shit,” you harshly whisper, throwing your hands onto your face, and pressing firmly as you bring them down your chin.

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the-dragons-knight · 3 years

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FFXIV Write 2021

Prompt #10 - Heart Beat

<Post-Heavensward MSQ, but no major spoilers>

Heady - ‘having a strong or exhilarating effect’

————————————————————

Katsum hardly even noticed the cold as she fiddled nervously with her chakrams as she peeked around the edge of the tall curtains that hid the dancers from the eyes of the gathered crowd. She recognized many of the faces she saw amongst them. She saw Hilda and people of the Brume and the Watch, and the orphaned children who were talking and laughing together. The counts of the four noble houses were gathered as well; in fact all of House Fortemps was in attendance. Even Vidolfnir and a few of the young dragonets from Anyx Trine had come, the great white dragon laying back behind the crowd a ways where she was talking with Lucia and Maelie, the young dragonets fluttering curiously above her while they chattered excitedly to be in a city of man. While seeing these familiar faces certainly did not help ease her worry, the true culprit of her anxiety was the raven-haired commander that was having a deep conversation with a few of the temple knights; Aymeric de Borel.

Her cat-like sapphire eyes traced the contours of his profile, watching his lips move and his eyes alight as he gestured towards the two knights and they smiled and nodded. The snow flakes in his raven black hair did not go unnoticed either, the bits of ice forming a halo. He looked ethereal, like a handsome prince, and it brought the warmth to her face still to know that he had chosen her. The way her heart melted when they were together was still so strange to her, but the way it had fluttered that night and through that first kiss, she’d never forget it. The only issue is that now she would feel so shy sometimes around him, and she worried about what impression that gave people having only seen her be the stoic and serious knightess of light.

“So…are you going to go and talk to him, or do I need to do it for you?” Katsum jumped at the voice that came from behind her, her tail fluffing up as she turned to see Ranaa standing there, a wide-eyed look on her face before she giggled, “My goodness, I’ve never seen you caught off guard, Katsum. Are you alright?”

Katsum sighed and tried to compose herself and wipe the warmth from her cheeks as she found it hard to meet her gaze, “Yes. I’m alright. Just…seeing how many people had gathered.”

“Aaaaaand looking for a certain someone, yeah? Who is he?” She winked at Katsum before slowly backing off, “Sorry, I don’t mean to pry.”

Katsum felt her ears lift from her skull as she realized she’d been glaring, her features softening as she reached out towards Ranaa, “No, no, I’m…I’m sorry Ranaa. I'm not used to my thoughts showing so freely. It's very strange to me.”

Ranaa blinked, but nodded with a soft smile, “It’s because of that man, yes? He’s quite handsome, and very kind and noble from the conversations he is having.”

A breath of a smile graced Katsum’s lips as she nodded, “He is Aymeric de Borel, the Lord Commander of the Temple Knights and the leader of Ishgard itself…and he is indeed a very noble and chivalrous knight.”

“Aw, and he’s caught your eye, I see! Well, my question still stands, do you need me to introduce you?”

“N-n-no, we are already well acquainted I…” She sighed before she spoke seriously, “He and I know each other very well, I assure you. I just…get nervous around him sometimes lately.” No one knew they were seeing each other as they had decided to keep it secret until the excitement in Ishgard had settled so that no odd rumors could truly gain any traction. Still, it was hard to wear her emotionless mask around him as much anymore, and she could only guess what that meant.

“Probably on account of your feelings for him I’d guess, but that means this is the perfect chance to get his attention!” Ranaa excitedly bounced on her heels as her tail swished with her excitement, “You dance so beautifully and so gracefully there is no way he won’t notice! And as we are lifting their spirits and fighting against the shadows weighing down their souls, he surely won't be able to take his eyes off you!” She grinned and gestured to the Thavnarian style dress Katsum wore, “And with that exotic dress, who could resist looking at you~”

Katsum’s jaw dropped as her embarrassment returned, “Ranaa, please!”

The dark-skinned miqo’te giggled as she started stepping backwards, “Alright, we are ready to start whenever you are, yeah? You look amazing as always, Katsum, and you’ll be sure to chase any shadows with your dance.” She then turned and headed back to the other trope members.

The blonde miqo’te sighed and stood up straight, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath to steady herself and calm her nerves. Her feelings for him. The fluttering in her chest and the want to be around him and spending time with him.When put like that, it was little wonder it was hard to wear her ‘mask’ as it surely fell off every time her heart started beating out of her chest. There was a part of her deep down that was excited to dance for him too she realized, and so she tried to tap into that feeling as she turned and followed Ranaa so that the show could begin.

— — — — — — — — — —

“Ladies and gentlemen! Thank you all for coming!”

Katsum gripped her chakrams tightly as she listened to the trope member’s words, taking deep breaths to calm herself. Ranaa placed her hand on her shoulder and nodded with a smile, a quiet affirmation of ‘You got this’ to which Katsum smiled weakly back and nodded. Her heart was still beating loudly in her ears, but she focused on her breathing and then ran through the steps of the dance in her head.

And she planned to lock eyes with him the very moment she could.

“Without further ado, I give you…the dancers of Trope Falsiam!”

In unison, she and Ranaa moved into their starting poses as the curtain began to draw back. Katsum peered through her chakram where it covered most of her face, waiting impatiently to catch the ice blue gaze of the Lord Commander. As the curtain revealed them, the crowd erupted into applause, but the only thing Katsum saw was Aymeric’s widened eyes as he saw her. It scared her for a moment before she noticed the red dusting on his cheeks and she realized he was flustered slightly. That made her heart flutter in kind and spurred her feet forward.

The music began and the two dancers moved and spun to the beat, slow at first as they awaited the rest of the instruments to join the lute, ever moving further onto the stage as they did. Katsum kept her eyes locked with Aymeric as she spun on her foot and sliced through the air slowly with her chakram, willing her body to move more gracefully than she ever had before. He seemed to be locked into place, his eyes following her every move. She blushed lightly at the thought but she smiled warmly at him, which he returned.

The music picked up then and a new confidence burned in her breast as she quickened her steps and sliced through the air. The colored petals and feathers of light began to appear to the amazement of the crowd as she and Ranaa danced on opposite sides of the circle moving clockwise around it. And as the lights grew, the shadows began to take shape, the darkness slithering out of the peoples hearts and into the ring, gathering together into the forms of many-faced monsters. The people gasped at the sight of them but Ranaa and Katsum continued to dance to calm them. As the knightess drew near to one, the shadow hissed and reared back its clawed hand.

“Now, Raihogg.” Katsum whispered and her necklace glowed gently, a new red light of dragon scales appearing around her as she spun and threw her chakrams into the attacking shadow. Again it hissed and tried to advance, but she was far too quick, catching her weapons and throwing them again in quick succession to push it further back. She glanced over to Aymeric again, seeing his eyes brightly shining with amazement as the crowd around him cheered and she grinned and wound up her next step. Crouching low, she called for Raihogg’s strength again to brighten the glowing scales as she held her weapons close and ready for the jump. With a breath, she launched herself forward, spanning a few yalms in the blink of an eye and slicing through the shadow as she passed through it. The beast screamed before exploding into sparks and fading away.

Another scream echoed behind her and Katsum spun gracefully to see Ranaa taking down the other one at that same moment. She grinned confidently at Katsum and they returned to their dance, spinning and slicing the air as they danced the circle and moved towards each other in the center. When they finally reached it, they danced around one another for a moment before they turned back to back and froze their starting position once more facing the crowd, the beat of the music ending as they stopped. The crowd erupted in applause and cheers at their performance, the air about them all feeling much lighter now that the darkness had been vanquished. Katsum and Ranaa smiled at each other as she relaxed and bowed to the crowd with the rest of the troupe.

— — — — — — — — — —

Katsum bowed in thanks as the few temple knights waved their goodbyes and made their way back to their posts. She sighed contently, happy to know their spirits were a bit lighter this day without so much darkness whispering of all they’d lost in the war. It made her happy to know that a ‘simple’ dance was able to help them breathe a little clearer.

“Ah there you are,” She turned to meet the ice blue gaze of the raven-haired commander as he stepped up to her with a warm smile on his face, “I am glad to have caught you before you left. That was an amazing performance. I had no idea you were dancing!”

Katsum smiled shyly, twirling a strand of hair as her tail swished behind her bashfully, a shiver slightly shaking her for a second before she replied, “Thank you, and yes, I’ve been working with the troupe for a few months now and learning their dances. It was they who found me after a storm destroyed my boat as I was sailing away from my home, and they who found Soldier and brought him back to me. I’ve kept in touch ever since, and finally decided to learn the Dancer’s trade.”

He nodded, “I remember when they brought your horse to Camp Dragonhead, and might I say that you have certainly learned the trade well,” His eyes flitted down for a moment and she blushed as she realized he was trying his best not to stare at her exposed skin, “It was certainly a beautiful…and deadly dance.”

She shivered again as her ears dropped and she nodded, “T-Thank you.”

His smile faded as he noticed her shiver and quickly shed himself of his fur coat, “May I?”

She blinked in surprise but nodded, letting him move close and drape the coat over her shoulders. Katsum smiled and wrapped the furred coat around herself, happily breathing in his scent that lingered on it, “Thank you, Aymeric. I didn’t realize how cold I was.”

“Of course. Can’t have the Warrior of Light freezing after her most beautiful display of dance…” Aymeric swallowed thickly then, a bright blush dusting his cheeks as she noticed he was fidgeting and pulling down his royal-blue shirt collar slightly as his eyes darted back and forth from her own to where his coat hid her dress.

“Aymeric, are you…?”

“Yes, yes! Of course, I am just fine, I assure you…I would just like to say…you were stunning and I could scarcely take my eyes off of you, but I also would ask perhaps…could you wear a different dress for your dancing? While this one is…ravishing, it is rather…revealing if you understand my meaning.”

It took a moment for it to truly hit her what he had said, yet the moment it did, Katsum’s ears stood up as her tail fluffed and a deep red blush covered her face. Becoming far more subconscious than she had been, she wrapped the coat around her more tightly, hiding her burning face against the furs of the collar.

She nodded as her entire body burned from embarrassment, “I-I’ll uh…see what I can do…but i’ll also hang on to this one…in case I ever…need it…”

Now it was his turn to blush darkly and they both thanked the heavens no one around to see, “Right! As you should. Never uh…never know.”

She nodded as she coughed and shook her head to clear her mind, and brought up another topic to speak on which he was most gracious for and soon the moment of embarrassment had passed. From afar, Ranaa watched out of the corner of her eye while she was speaking to some of the audience members and smiled seeing them, happy to see that someone was helping Katsum find the parts of herself that lay hidden under her stoic mask.

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anniedelaney · 3 years

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EFT Tapping

Hello friends! Sadly, this is the last installment of our meditation series, but I think I’ve saved the best for last! In this post, we will be exploring EFT tapping!! With the stress of finals coming up quickly, the tapping technique is excellent for managing anxiety, stress, discomfort, and even physical illnesses like stomach pain. EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Tapping, and it is rooted in traditional Chinese acupuncture teachings. EFT is especially interesting to me because it combines eastern medicine with western psychology. Tapping on meridian points with your fingers, you mimic the application of pressure to the same points that is done in acupuncture. It is meant to release stress and negative emotion. This tapping is paired with verbal affirmations and positive phrases that focus on accepting yourself and acknowledging the issue at hand in order to process and move forward. Tapping is still in its experimental phases, but it is gaining traction in the west, especially in CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) practices. This is because CBT helps patients learn how to identify and change their own destructive thought patterns and behaviors through techniques like tapping that can be done everyday.

How it Works

The first few steps of tapping are influenced by western therapy treatments. Tapping begins with the identification of the issue at hand. For me, I suffer from anxiety, so that was what I identified as my main issue to focus my tapping around. Once you identify your issue, the next step is to rate the intensity of your issue before beginning any of the actual tapping. This is done on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the highest intensity. Then, the final step before beginning the tapping is establishing phrases that express your goals for the tapping session. These phrases should acknowledge the issue you are facing and center your mind around accepting yourself despite them. They sound something like “even though I am dealing with [your issue at hand], I deeply and completely accept myself.”. These phrases can be thought of on your own, obtained through a guided meditation app, or shared by a therapist. The important point to remember, is that they must fit your own specific and personal meditation experience and no one else’s.

Finally you are ready to begin the tapping sequence. There are nine meridian points to focus on; the karate chop point (side of hand), eyebrow, side of the eye, under the eye, under the nose, the chin, the collarbone, under the arm, and the top of the head. These all correspond to a different internal organ that can commonly hold on to stress or affect your physical health. Beginning with the karate chop point, start tapping gently on the meridian points and repeat the phrases that were chosen for your meditation prior to beginning. As you continue to repeat your phrases, work your way through the list of meridians ( in the order that I mentioned them ), focusing on giving your body permission to relax as you go. This tapping paired with the verbal phrases focuses your body on its physical response to stress, and then allows it to relax as you think about the issue at hand, subsequently reducing the amount of stress your body holds on to when thinking of the triggering issue. When you have successfully gone through two or three rotations of the tapping, conclude by once again rating your stress level from 1-10.

My Experience with Tapping

I was introduced to tapping by my own therapist, and it has been something that changed the way I manage my stress and anxiety. I use an app called “The Tapping Solution” which offers guided tapping meditations. They are very easy to follow along to and they instruct you on where to tap and when, along with some guidelines for what verbal phrases and affirmations to use depending on your goal for the tapping session. For this post, I used a ten minute guided video called “Tapping into Meditation”. It was useful for releasing feelings of anxiety and overwhelm that were stuck in my body. I really liked this video, as it helped me reach a deep meditative state better than the other guided videos that simply just focus on anxiety or racing thoughts. I highly recommend giving tapping a try, and this app is the very best tool for beginners.

East vs. West

The combination of western CBT techniques and eastern acupuncture made me think about the different world views we learned about in class. Western medicine is very centered around the biomedical model and what can be treated or explained physically, where the eastern view is very holistic, treating both the body and the soul. I found this to be very clear in the idea of emotional freedom that tapping is centered around. The western aspects of the meditation practice focused on what physical sensations I felt, verbal explanations and affirmations to used to compartmentalize my issue, and a quantification of my stress level. These are all very physically oriented, similar the the idea of the biomedical model. Then, when I reached the tapping part of the meditation, I feel the same emotional and spiritual connection or freedoms that I did when practicing other forms of meditation. Being able to process my emotions while feeling spiritually relaxed made me think of the holistic view that eastern medicine values.

EFT tapping is by far my favorite meditation technique we’ve talked about so far. I really enjoyed this series of trying new practices and learning more about different cultures! Thanks for being a part of the journey!

https://www.thetappingsolution.com/what-is-eft-tapping/

https://www.healthline.com/health/eft-tapping#research

#HappyTapping

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ubernoxa · 4 years

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The Sip: A GNR Modern Day AU

Chapter 6: Just Friends

Previous Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5)

Chapter Summary: Alanah gets a call from her manager and Duff surprises her with some help.

Warning: Fluff

I sat on the couch in Sandy’s and my apartment wishing I was anywhere else.

Declan had surprised Sandy for dinner and they were currently out eating at some fancy restaurant.

A couple hours earlier, Declan showed up at our door with a dozen roses dresses in a full suit. Apparently it was their six month anniversary, but you wouldn’t know that if you saw Sandy at the party last night. There are times I wonder if she knows what the definition of committed relationship is. I can’t judge though, my last relationships was borderline fake.

Originally we were supposed to record, but they both looked so excited to go. Before Sandy could break the news to him on how she couldn’t go, I told her we could reschedule. We had some prerecorded stuff, so we could just post that instead. She was still hesitant, so I added on that I could livestream cooking. Eventually she caved and left for her dinner with Declan. I hope she didn’t cheat on him, but the way that stranger’s arm was wrapped around her led me to believe the worst. She was supposed to be the smart one out of the two of us. She didn’t leave without making a comment on how I should invite Duff over for the stream. I swear she just wanted me to get in a relationship again, so we could go on double dates and couples vacations.

I continued to stare in the mirror as I finished applying my foundation. My heart skipped a beat as the sound of my phone ringing echoed through my apartment. Duff?

To my disappointment, it was only my media manager..well both Sandy’s and my media manager. We hired her a while back to help us with the legal side of YouTube and to help with our social presence.

“Hey Alanah, hows it going?”

“Good, Good...preparing to do the livestream I just texted you about,” I began to begin working on my eyes as I spoke.

“Okay well...you know how I hate getting into your personal life Alanah, but...” God I wish she would just spit it out. I knew she was going to ask about if I was dating Duff or not. I know we’re not, but I....I don’t know. After this morning’s bathroom event, I needed to know what that meant to him. No way that was just two friends hanging out, or maybe that’s how a rockstar hangs out with girls? Fuck.

“Are you dating Duff,” I let a fake laugh escape me once she finally got around to asking the question.

“No, just friends.” Yup, just friends would had sex multiple times in the past 24 hours and then relaxed in a jacuzzi together. Just casual friend things.

My manager went silent for a couple seconds. Was she expecting me to say yes?

“Things just ended with Mark, and I just want to enjoy being single. I won’t lie, I shed a couple tears when I heard he said Alanah who....but I’ve heard worst things. Why are you asking?” I stopped applying my makeup and focused on my manager. She went silent again, and that wasn’t ever a good sign.

“Well, you were tagged in some social media posts.....” she once again paused causing my patience to go extinct. SPIT IT OUT.

“There was a video from the paparazzi, Ill send it your way. I know Mark is a celebrity, but he wasn’t a household name like Duff. If you two do start dating you are aware that you are going to lose your sense of privacy right? You’ll be added to his list of ex’s. That’s what you will be known for,” I let out a sigh as she finished talking. Jesus Christ, we aren’t even dating and I was already getting this talk.

“Just friends,” I faked the confidence in my voice before I heard her mumble something.

“Well I’m glad you’re doing well, I’ll send you a link to the video I was referencing. If you and Duff are JUST FRIENDS you should ask him to help cook for your stream tonight,”

“Really?” I sounded like a nervous middle schooler as I spoke. Why was I nervous?

“Yeah, could be fun. Have a good one Alanah,” she hung up before I could even say goodbye...typical.

I opened up Instagram and was immediately met with a bunch of notifications. Whoever ran the Gun’s Instagram page had tagged me in a couple of photos. Most of them consisted of photos from earlier in the night of us around the BBQ. I was surprised to see that I looked decent in most of them, and in a couple...only a couple of the photos...Duff and I did look like we were dating. He had is arm wrapped around my waist or I was sitting on his lap. We aren’t dating though just friends.

I went over to his page to message him, and that’s when I froze. I immediately clicked on the most recent post and scrolled through the photos. There was one photo that caught my attention. It was from when we were eating dinner last night. It must have been cropped because it was just the two of us, but I remembered this moment. He had just made a joke that was so stupid I couldn’t help, but laugh. Yesterday I didn’t notice it, but he was smiling down at me as I giggled in the photo and he had his hand wrapped around my waist. I couldn’t read into that much more. We are just friends. We are nothing more than friends. FRIENDS.

I logged into the Instagram account specifically for Sandy’s and my YouTube channel and began to record a video.

“Hey guy! Hope you’re haveing a great Tuesday. Sandy is out celebrating an anniversary so you’re stuck with me tonight!”

“Tonight I will be live-streaming me attempting to cook something you guys comment below! So comment your ideas and hopefully I won’t burn them!”

I then when to share the video on twitter and Tumblr to try to gain traction.

I put some music on and began to scroll through the comments trying to find an idea of what to cook. The comments started out as helpful but after some scrolling a lot of the comment were about Duff....I placed my phone out and let out a sigh.

“Are you and Duff dating?”

“Wow, talk about a rebound”

“Duff + Alanah... #upgrade”

Why did I have to deal with this bull shit? Not that I wouldn’t mind being his girlfriend....but he was a rockstar and we were JUST FRIENDS.

I was pulled from my thoughts as my phone began to ring. Speaking of the devil, it was Duff.

“Hey, what’s up?” I smiled as I looked at my screen. His hair was all over the place and he looked exhausted. It must had been a long practice.

“I’m about 30 seconds away from killing my bandmates, you?”

“Well I’m currently trying to chose what to cook for my livestream,” I quickly checked what I looked like on the screen. I was thankful that I put makeup on and did my hair, I looked pretty good..not to toot my own horn or anything.

“How about Thai Salmon?” I was caught off guard by his recommendation.

“Ohhh uhhh I don’t know how to bake that.....and umm...I don’t want to look like a fool on livestream,” I was tripping over my words, unable to cease talking.

“Well if you need help, I’m actually a decent cook. I could even show you some stuff if you want,” he wanted to help me cook?

“Yeah sure!” I could feel a smile growing on my cheek from ear to ear as I spoke. I watched a smile flash on his face as I answered.

“Great! So I’ll bring the ingredients we need and we also have to soak the salmon for two hours before it’s cooked!”

My stomach was performing backflips as Duff talked. He was excited. He was excited to hang out with me. Holy shit.

Time flew by as I began to setup the two cameras. The first was on a rather large tripod allowing you to see the entire kitchen, which wasn’t much, and the second was a small camera that would be used for more close up shots.

***Buzz***

I practically jumped out of my skin when I heard my apartment’s doorbell ring. I bolted towards my intercom to the lobby, “Hello?”

“Hey Alanah, it’s Duff I got the stuff, wanna let me in or we can try to cook in the lobby?” I chuckled as I hit a button on my intercom and buzzed in. What if he thinks less of me because of my small apartment? What if he thinks I’m below him? Is my apartment too dirty? Is it too clean?

A knock at the door pulled me out of my chaotic merry-go-round of thoughts.

I took a deep breath and opened my door.

“So this is what your apartment looks like,” he had a small smile on his face as he walked around looking at the photos that hung on the wall.

“It’s not much, but it’s home,” I shrugged leaning against the table for support.

“Its cozy! I got the food, shall we begin?”

“Umm...yeah..uhhh..yeah..so since the salmon needs to marinate I’m doing a little prerecording for the video to post later in the week if that’s fine,” I wanted to kick myself repeatedly for stumbling over my words. God! I felt like such a baffoon.

“How can I help?” I watched as he looked at my camera positioned to look at the entire room.

“You can do whatever you want! If you wanna help with the cameras it’s up to you. If you want to sit on the couch and be on your phone that’s fine too,” I shrugged watching his body language as I spoke. He actually wanted to help....the rockstar was looking to help..weird okay.

“So that camera there is for overall shots while this one is for like close up,” I held up the second camera showing him how to properly hold it.

“So this first part isn’t live?”

“Yeah, I don’t want to make everyone wait two hours. I usually take live-streams and create highlight videos,” I began to pull the items out of Duff’s cloth bag.

I looked over to see Duff fiddling with the second camera and eventually turning it on. Out of the corner of my eye I then watched as he turned on the second one. Maybe he wasn’t as unfamiliar with cameras as I expected him to be.

I then felt him wrap his arms around my waist.

“Hey...Duff,” I could feel my heart rate about to explode through my chest. I’ve had sex with him before, why was I nervous around him? Why the hell was him being so close to me making my stomach become an Olympic gymnast?

“Don’t mind me, I’m just turning on your mic,” and with that I hear a faint click from a small switch that turned my mic on. He then clapped once and went to pick up the second camera.

“I’m ready when you are,” I could feel my cheeks turning red as he spoke. His damn smirk never leaving his stupid face. He knew what he was doing.

“Alright, welcome to another cooking with Alanah and Sandy, but this time there is no Sandy so we will see what happens! My current goal is to not burn the food,” before I could continue Duff’s laughter echoed through my apartment.

“What? Also cameramen should be quiet!” I teased back pointing at the camera, only making his laugh harder.

“Alanah, babe, I’ve seen your previous cooking videos and I think your goal should be to not burn down your apartment,” I froze as I tried to make out what he said between laughing.

Babe?

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t get rid of the smile that had grown on my face.

“Alright so tonight we are making teriyaki salmon! The first step is to create the marinate!” I pulled out the cooking instructions I had made Duff write before he came over.

“Alright so for the sweet chili sauce we will combine water, white vinegar, cornstach, garlic clove, and.......maple syrup,” I looked over at Duff as I read the last ingredient.

“Are you messing with me Duff?” His laughter filled the room once again and I couldn’t help but join him. His laugh was contagious.

“If I was messing with you I would have either been more subtle or more outlandish,” I watched as he placed the camera on my mini tripod infornt of the bowls I had setup for mixing.

We spent the next thirty minutes preparing the sauce together, and I loved every second of it.

“And now we wait for two hours while the salmon soaks,” Duff said into the camera before smirking at me. He was good in front of a camera and he knew it.

“So now we have two hours,” I finished turning off the cameras and my mic as he spoke.

“Do you have anything in mind in how to spend the time?” This time I couldn’t help but let a smirk wander into my face.

Without hesitation, Duff pulled me in and we began to kiss as he dragged me to my bedroom.

#gnr imagine #gnr fanfic #guns n’ roses fanfic #guns n’ roses imagine #duff mckagan imagine #duff mckagan fanfiction #duff fanfic

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jclie · 4 years

Text

— && guests may mistake me as ( elizabeth olsen ), but really i am ( jolie madison + cis female + she/her ) and my DOB is ( 7/29/1992 ). i am a ( musician ) and would like to stay in suite ( 314 ). i won’t be much of a bother because i am ( driven, audacious, & charismatic ), but i can also be ( perfectionistic, reticent & self-sabotaging ) at times. personally, i like to ( paint, hike, try new recipes & sing karaoke ) when i have the time to relax, and my favorite snack is ( chai sugar cookies ) to have in my suite.

hi everyone! i’m red, and the only excuse i have for this dropping so late is that Work Sucks and has held me up, but i am here and ready to love u all! rlly, what better to do with the remaining bits of summer ( and being awake, tbh ) than join this super cute group and put my intro post together? so yes, here is the 411 on jolie, with a more *~cohesive~* bio and stats page on their way — i am so excited to get to know all of your muses and begin interacting! i promise i do not bite so if you’re feeling brave, pop over in the ims, or, just wait me out, because i’m sure i’ll be appearing in them soon enough :~)

general info

full name: jolie drew madison

nicknames: j, jo, jojo (calling her this is a bit of a death sentence unless you have explicit permission), mads

date of birth: july twenty-ninth, 1992 (27)

zodiac: leo

sexual orientation: bisexual

birthplace: chicago, illinois

occupation: musician

hogwarts house: slytherin

mbti: enfj

suite #: 314

tw: drug use

past

born on a wednesday in chicago, illinois to a set of parents who had a very “informal” relationship to say the least — to make a complicated situation as cut and dry as possible, jolie’s parents were best friends with benefits. her mom wound up pregnant and decided to keep the baby. instead of jumping to some rash decision like getting married solely for the sake of their child, they decided to simply remain friends and split custody in the best way they knew how that didn’t require a mediator in the form of a family court judge. her parents remained close friends (and still are) once jolie was born; custody was weirdly split with jolie spending the majority of her time with her mom. they were an unconventional sort of family but a family nonetheless. dad does something with numbers (yes, think chandler bing), and mom is a local business owner.

as a kid, jolie never knew a stranger, and therefore had no trouble making friends once she hit school age. she was the kid who never found her niche group or “clique” because her feet were wet in several of them. school was not a miserable time for her. she had her friends, was a solid a/b student. jolie was a big perfectionist though, it not uncommon for her to beat herself up over something incredibly minute and self-sabotaging herself as punishment or because she didn’t know how to adequately process her feelings of anxiousness — she’d procrastinate, cut people off or drive them away, things of that nature.

music was always in her life, but it was a very casual thing in her world, situated on a backburner. it was something that she was able to bond over with her dad more so than her mom; her dad was a massive music junkie, loved sharing his favorite songs with her, bought her her first vinyl player when she was twelve and supplied her with every album under the sun, whether it was one she wanted or one of his favorites or just one he thought she might enjoy. she was in dance classes as a preschooler (this was an epic fail, because not even her rhythm could save her from the generally awkward disaster she is whenever she dances) and took piano lessons in elementary school, but she didn’t love either? she felt very restricted when it came to formal lessons, and almost needed the freedom to explore and learn it on her own terms — she ended up teaching herself guitar on her dad’s guitar on the weekends she spent at his place. there was also the 6 month stint her junior year of high school when she and some friends started a garage band (which jolie represses to a certain degree because the embarrassment it invokes is on another level) but it was mostly just an idea formulated from boredom and was something to pass the time, nothing really serious.

jolie found herself at a bit of a crossroads after her graduation. most of her friends were off to college but college did not seem like the kind of environment for her. she didn’t know what she wanted to do with herself or her life, but she knew she had to do something. so she pretty much copied and pasted what one of her close friends was doing at the time, decided to go to northwestern and share an apartment with her and pray that something would speak to her along the way. spoiler alert: nothing did. her first year quickly fizzled and faded for her and most of her time was spent going to parties, embracing the social scene, the like. nothing of real educational value.

she was still fucking around when it came to music; she’d met some people in one of her creative writing classes (the only class that she legitimately finished and enjoyed) and would go to open mic nights or other gigs around town. never meeting a stranger meant jolie was good at networking, making friends with other musicians — the more she spent time immersed in the world, the more she felt compelled towards music. she began writing songs that weren’t just the product of teenage angst (see: that awful high school band), even took a few music classes at northwestern.

by the time she hit her junior year, she was over classes and was pretty much only taking filler classes still, wasting her money while she bar tended at one of the bars close by. but she’d never felt more creatively charged; she was putting her nose to the grindstone in writing songs, recording songs in her bedroom so she wouldn’t wake up her roommates, playing gigs on her nights off work literally anywhere that would take her, and using those new-er friendships to her advantage. she had gained some local traction but things really didn’t explode until she started posting original songs online and got contacted by a few record labels. jolie was hesitant to sign with anyone but she got one of her friends in pre-law to help her look over contracts and pretend to be her manager and eventually signed. subsequently, she dropped out of college and went to work on the music thing full time.

from 21-23, jolie was pretty much doing nothing but playing festivals and clocking in hours at studios. most of her time was spent on the road and she absolutely loved it — she loved the music festival atmosphere, loved the crowds, loved meeting other bands and fans. she was pretty much touring on the few songs she had released, covers, and unreleased tracks from a wip, but it worked for her and it worked for the fans. she released her first album, ultraviolet on her 23rd birthday, and hit the road again.

jolie missed her “college” life with the parties and socialization at her fingertips, so she started elbowing her way into that scene while she was on tour — at first, it wasn’t anything to bat an eye at, but jolie’s limits were very fluid. being on tour was draining and the perfectionist in her would always find something to berate herself about, and getting out of her head was the only way that she felt she could truly enjoy the whirlwind success that was happening to her. the drugs started as a one-time thing, just to try it, and then she was using regularly, and then it got to a point where she couldn’t go more than an hour without a line of coke. the drugs stripped away a lot of what made her jolie and left her with a more miserable, grouchier version of herself where her highs were almost normal and likable and the lows were hell to be around.

she came off of ultraviolet’s tour and essentially jumped right back into the studio (she was beginning to break through in mainstream music, with her last promotional single off ultraviolet hitting mainstream radio and doing fairly well) for album #2. it was finished and ready to go, but by that point, the drug use had gotten to an all-time high and the constant turning a blind eye to it from her team was no longer possible. she ended up od’ing and that was it — there was an intervention in the hospital room, and it was off to rehab for jolie. album got postponed and she basically fell off the radar.

she didn’t really make a “comeback” until she was knocking on 26′s doorstep, and by that point she’d been in rehab, getting sober, and then laying low for nearly two years. by the time she was releasing her first single for the new album cycle, she’d all but scrapped the record she’d made before rehab and had something else put together entirely. she released wonderland, which did very, very well. she toured for it and it was wildly different than anything she’d done prior — venues were bigger, more fans, just a whole different circus all around.

probably the one thing she was more proud of than the music was her sobriety, and going on two years of being sober, not much else was important to her. she knew had a pretty black and white view of was good for her and what wasn’t, so after the tour wrapped, she decided to come home. she never pegged herself for the type to get “homesick” because her spirit was very much the wandering type, but she knew she needed to get out of la and nyc. back to chicago it was — which is how we get to the malnati.

present

she’s in what she’d aptly describe as “professional limbo” — she’s not actively working on any one project, she’s just kind of floating until she can find something to tether herself to, whether it’s a single song or an album or something else that appears on her radar. she’s just taking things easy for the time being.

career wise, think marina, l*na — more of a cult favorite than a mainstream artist. not going to get mobbed when she goes out and about, able to fly under the radar for the most part. as far as her music goes, i don’t necessarily know if i’ll claim any one artist’s discography and adopt as her own; in my head, jolie’s alt pop. think somewhere along the lines of hayley williams, st. vincent, tove lo, splash of the 1975.

personality wise at this point in her life: will charm the pants off of just about anyone she comes into contact with. flirty. a little goofy, hella sarcastic. there’s method to her madness even if no one else gets it. is still a little guarded when it comes to talking about herself. doesn’t mind talking about what’s happened to her but when it comes to the feelings and emotions as to why those things happened, she shuts down. it’s why she’s a musician: why talk about your feelings when you could just write them into a song and pretend they don’t exist beyond that, lmao. is the passive aggressive type, bottles things up and simmers.

being in the kitchen and cooking has been a tactile sort of therapy for her, especially in her hiatus years. she loves trying new recipes, baking at random (all) hours, sometimes likes to pretend she’s on an episode of master chef. she’s a dork, your honor.

has a thing for polaroids. she has a blank moleskine notebook that she has put through a total ringer, gluing polaroids and other little mementos onto pages as a journal of sorts.

has a stick and poke tattoo (among other professional ones) on her ribcage that she gave herself when she was sixteen. it’s a tiny smiley face.

her middle name came from her dad’s middle name (andrew).

if you want someone to go out with you at night (or during the day, she’s not picky) and just aimlessly wander around the city, letting things find you, she’s your girl. she loves a good adventure.

i headcanon jolie as predominantly dirty blonde/brunette lizzie? but she is also the type who has ruined her hair over the years over all the impromptu dying so... welcome to close your eyes and pretend hour.

plot ideas

this is by no means a comprehensive list of plots, just stuff off the top of my head that i’d like to see? again, i promise i don’t bite, so pls hmu if one of these appeals to you or if you just wanna brainstorm, i live for that shit!!

jolie’s a chicago native, went to college here, so 👀

meredith to her cristina — basically her best friend (not gender specific, either) who tells it to jolie like it is, doesn’t mind if she laments about how the world sucks every now and again, the person she’s calling if she needs help with a body

physically and/or emotionally, somebody who checks in on jolie and that she checks in on as well. we love a solid support system

exes — jolie’s a little bit (a lot of bit) of a player?? so i’d love to see exes that maybe didn’t end too hot, ex fwb or ex flings that never made it official, people she ghosted, exes that don’t want to get back together but don’t like seeing each other with anyone else, anything under that sun

jolie also is a Lowkey (read: highkey) commitment-phobe, but i’d rlly love for her to maybe have an ex that she was so In Love with that she was willing to push through it bc she saw herself with them forever..... and then, for reasons tbd, it ended, and it absolutely crushed jolie

someone who, on the occasion of needing to scratch an itch, is very good about getting the job done. it’s casual sex. there are zero romantic feelings involved, there is no getting jealous when the other person finds a relationship, the two are just good friends who have seen (and will probably continue to see) each other naked #yeehaw

maybe someone who was at one of jolie’s gigs when she was still playing bars that she bought a drink and kept in touch with or smth? or someone she met when she was still predominately playing small sets at festivals? idk i’m rambling someone stop me

a “muse”??? like, someone jolie is fascinated with / inspired by and she finds herself writing songs about / for

gimme someone who’s like an acquaintance at best, they’ve maybe got mutual friends and therefore they hang out a bit but they’re always arguing with one another for whatever reason (they both probably annoy each other) but they’ve got mad sexual tension going on? maybe they act on it, maybe they don’t, but either way, they lowkey enjoy the bantering and being at one another’s throats even if they act otherwise

jolie is a night owl, so... gimme someone who she can turn up at their room at some unholy hour (or that turns up at her room at said unholy hour) and watch a movie with or make a mess of the kitchen from fixing a premature breakfast

maybe someone who knew jolie when she was not in a good place?? and things are still v much tense / unresolved between them for whatever reason

and stuff for the event omg PLS *makes grabby hands*

#malnatiintro #malnatiooc #drugs tw #tw drugs #not sure what to tag so here's ALL the tags lmao

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main-to-card-games-and-pain · 5 years

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IronDad Bingo 4: Drowning

Evidently Tumblr hates me an DELETED ALL THE CONTENT OF THIS POST. So, just to recap for those who didn’t get to see it, Captivity is my last for this row, and then I need to start a new row. So, if you have a row you would like to see, pls tell me. :D DO NOT TAG AS STARKER.

The room was dark and cold, and the air was sticky and thick. The only source of light was an eerie glow of the two tanks in the middle of the camber, which were connected to a jungle of wires and machinery. The room was silent.

Until the person in the tank woke up. Well, one of them.

There were two, both confined to a separate tank.

The older of the two woke up first, taking in the cold metal pressing against him, the confining space, the handcuffs attaching him to the ground, his drugged mind struggling to comprehend his situation. But then Tony Stark saw Peter Parker in the same predicament and the fog cleared.

“Kid!” The inventor hoped desperately that this was some kind of dream. He tugged uselessly on the handcuffs, which held true. He checked his wrist, the watch predictably removed. He was trapped. “Kid, wake up!”

Teenage eyes blinked blearily back at Tony, confusion evident there. “Mr.Stark,” he mumbled, his heading cocking upwards like a questioning puppy, “where are we?”

“I don’t know Bud, but we’ll figure it out. We’ll get out.”

Peter scooted so he was at least sitting up and not sprawled against the bottom of the tank. He tested his handcuffs too, Tony foolishly hoped that their captors wouldn’t know about his super strength, but to no avail.

“Mr.Stark?”

“Yes, Pete?”

“I don’t like small spaces.”

Oh shit.

“I know kid, how you doing with that one?”

“I’m okay…” Tony could sense the lie in the child’s voice, how it quavered and questioned its own words. Peter was scared.

“Just take some deep breaths for me, we’ll be out of here in no time.”

The one solace Tony had in this ordeal was that he could see Peter. His wrists were chained so that he almost was forced to look at the teen.

“Where’s ‘here’?” Peter’s curls waved back and fourth as he took in his surroundings. Doe-eyes found Tony’s again and relaxed against the glass of the tank, despite the uncomfortable way it seemed to pull against his shoulders.

“I’m not sure, I guess we’ll find out soon enough.”

“That you will Mr.Stark.”

The staticky voice made both mentor and mentee jump, blasting into their tanks from an external speaker, malicious and cunning. Tony’s fists clenched with the want to grab Peter.

“So I’m assuming you’re the one responsible for our little predicament then?” Tony spoke before Peter had the chance to. They were both looking up, trying to find whatever camera was recording their movements.

“I am, yes. Do you like it?” It was a male voice, he sounded absolutely delighted at their situation. Tony knew then that this wasn’t about money or tech.

“I’d like it a lot more if the kid and I were on the outside.”

“That is, unfortunately, impossible right now.”

Peter shuddered, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. He didn’t know what was going to happen, but he knew it was bad.

“I want to play a game, Mr.Stark.” Tony resisted the urge to growl at the name, only Peter was really allowed to call him that.

“If you’re going to try and be the villain, at least make up your own quirk Jigsaw.”

“I assure you, this will not disappoint.” Tony glanced at the kid, whose eyes were wide and alert, his muscles taut. It didn’t bode well. “Above you, you will notice three buttons on both of your chambers. In a few moments both your tanks will begin to fill with water.” Tony’s whole body tensed with alarm.

“The green button will make your tank fill faster. The blue will make your counterpart’s fill faster. The red will stop your counterpart’s tank from filling. Once one is pushed it cannot be overridden by the opposite tank. Once one tank fills completely the other will automatically release after two minutes. Escape your cuffs and you can make the choice of who lives and who dies, don’t and you both die together.”

The speaker crackled once more and the voice disappeared.

“No! We aren’t doing this, you sick son of a-”

The water turned on.

Tony had never felt such panic. Instantly, he was up, looking for a way to escape his handcuffs. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Peter doing the same. He knew what Peter would do, which is why he needed to get out of his cuffs faster. He was not going to watch his kid die.

The water wasn’t too fast, steadily filling the tank without rushing in.

Tony’s fingers desperately tore at everything and anything, looking for a pin he could use to unlock the handcuffs. If this guy was the kind of sociopath Tony pegged him for then he wouldn’t give them an impossible task.

Peter was taking a different approach, sure, the guy knew about his super strength, but that didn’t mean he fool-proofed the entire entrapment against him. The glass, reinforced. The cuffs, reinforced. The metal he was attached to? Steel. He could work with steel.

The teenager drew his leg back and kicked at the loop of steel, and then did it again, and again, and again. And eventually, the metal began to bend. There was a metallic screech as the steel gave away, allowing Peter to slip his wrists away from the tether.

Tony heard it too, his head snapped up with fearful eyes.

Peter scrambled up, his eyes meeting his mentor’s terrified gaze. Tony could see the intent there. Peter broke the stare by tilting his head upwards and finding the glowing buttons.

“No! Peter, no! Look at me, look at me Pete,” Tony begged, frantically jerking at his cuffs. “Look at me Buddy.” The teen hesitantly turned away from his task and glanced backwards. “Don’t do this, you know what I want and this isn’t it.”

The water was to Peter’s knees now, creeping up Tony’s chest as he kneeled. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, before he began to crawl upwards against the glass.

“No! Peter! Stop!” The inventor renewed his struggles, though it had basically deteriorated into desperate floundering. The water around his handcuffs began to turn red from the bleeding in his wrists. He didn’t care. “Fuck!”

Tony couldn’t live in a world without Peter Parker. He wouldn’t be able to live if he had to watch the kid die.

He dove into the water, his chest inadvertently hitting his bound wrists. The handcuffs clicked open.

Magnets. He’s such an idiot, the cuffs are powered by magnets.

But he didn’t have time to dwell on that, not when Peter is too close to-

The water stopped filling his tank. Tony scrambled to stand up.

“Peter, please! I can’t do this without you, kid. You’re my world.”

“The world needs Iron Man, and I need you to survive.” Peter looked up from his place on the top of the tank, he looked scared but accepting of his fate, his eyes shone with the love he had in him. “I love you Mr.Stark.”

“Kid, kid, please, the world needs you more than me. I lived my life, I’m old, don’t do this.” A sob ripped it’s way from Tony’s throat, guttural and raw. He urged Peter to save himself, “Please, push the blue one kid.”

Peter didn’t want to see Mr.Stark cry, and he didn’t want Mr.Stark to see him cry, so he turned away. He pressed the green button, his harbinger of death. Mr.Stark was screaming behind him, he couldn’t block out the noise of his cries.

Tony slammed his fists against the glass, Peter hadn’t been able to break it, but he still tried.

The tank began to fill up with water at three times the speed it had been before. The water rose steadily from three new pumps, at a much higher pressure. When Peter lowered himself back to the bottom of the tank, he could hardly touch.

“Peter,” Mr.Stark cried. Wisps of blood streamed from his wrists and knuckles.

The water rose past Peter’s mouth, an effective gag. The boy instead opted to put his hand flat against the glass, meeting the man’s gaze steadily. I’m okay, this is okay.

Peter could swim, and he could float, but neither were quite so effective with his hands still being handcuffed together.

He spasmed, legs kicking out uselessly against the water.

“No, no! Please I can’t do this, I can’t watch him die,” Tony sobbed, begging God or their captor, or whoever was out there to save him. “I love him, please, you can’t take him away.”

Peter fought against the water, but it was no use. He couldn’t gain any traction in the small space of the tank. He saw through blurred eyes Mr.Stark attacking the glass, his tears. Peter realized that watching Peter uselessly try and survive was probably more painful to the inventor than it had to be. So, despite the burn in his lungs, desperate for air, and the panic in his chest, the teenager relaxed.

A stream of bubbles tickled his nose, and the hero fought no more.

It was a strange sort of peace that took over him then, like he was breathing water but that didn’t really matter anymore. Nothing mattered, except these next few seconds of peace with Tony. He hoped Tony would be okay.

Peter Parker lost consciousness.

For Tony, there was no fate worse than this.

When Rhodey found them, hours later, he felt his heart shudder to a stop at the sight. The room was covered in shattered glass and sodden with water. Tony Stark, sat with his back to the door, as if he didn’t care what came for him. In his arms, his protege, his son, cradled close to the reactor.

Tony was bleeding from everywhere, little gashes littering his skin. He was rocking back and fourth.

“Tony… what happened…?” The inventor flinched at his voice, rough from the lump in the colonel’s throat.

“I got him out. I got him out. Why didn’t he wake up if I got him out? I promised we’d get out.”

#iron dad #fanfiction #writing #tw; drowning #whump #angst #tony stark #peter parker #hurt peter parker #not starker #iron dad fanfiction #drowning #irondadbingo

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teachertanaa · 4 years

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Just Japanese Things

Having never been to Japan or Asia I didn’t know what to expect upon coming here. I knew that Japan was a beautiful country that had cool vending machines, kawaii characters, and a distinct, worldly-acclaimed cuisine, but I didn’t know how I would feel once I got here. I learned from my exchange in Austria to keep my expectations to a minimum (Austria was great – I just naively imagined it to be a perfect utopia hidden away in Europe’s Alps). I came to Japan with an open mind, and I’m glad that I did.

The week leading up to my departure was not pleasant; I was crying at the drop of a hat multiple times a day (privately). Shit was hitting the fan in Washington, and I thought at any moment Japan could bar entry into the country. When that didn’t happen I began questioning the soundness of my own decision-making skills: Was this really the time to be moving across the world? I was more stressed than I’ve ever been in my entire life. The hazmat-clad travelers at the airport did not reassure me, and I felt fear as I boarded my plane to Taiwan. Luckily, the two Ambien I took kicked in fast and knocked me out for a good 6 hours – medical face mask and all. When I arrived in Japan that hysterical anxiety strangely dissipated. I felt more at ease here. I’ve been in Japan for a month now, and I can already sense that this year will go by fast. I thought I’d tell you some things I’ve come to love about Japan thus far.

Ichi (one): Conbinis

Conbinis are Japanese convenience stores, and they are my favorite place to shop. I have a supermarket near me, but finding what I want can be a struggle as I have to google translate image everything; things at FamilyMart somehow just make sense. Also, Japanese 711s are far superior to American 711s; you’ll just have to take my word for it.

Ni (two): Driving

I’ve never particularly enjoyed driving, so I was nervous about having to drive in Japan, but I’ve actually really enjoyed it! I’m glad that I have a car here, and don’t have to rely on public transportation. Driving on the right-side of the road and making right turns did take some getting used to, but I think I’ve acclimated for the most part. The blinkers are on the right-side of the wheel, so I often find myself turning on my wipers as I take a turn (still need to get used to this). I also really like my car – it’s tiny and cute!

San (three): Hair salons

I don’t want to rub salt in any wounds here – as I know most of your hairstyles are probably looking pretty haggard right now, but I’m here to announce that I had the best haircut of my life in Japan. I’m the type of person who usually leaves the salon secretly unsatisfied; I’ve had many haircuts go south real quick, so I was not excited about throwing a language barrier into the mix. However, I was starting to look shaggy, so I knew it was time to take a leap of faith and schedule an appointment. I wrote a script to follow in Japanese and called a promising salon that had an English website; we struggled for a bit on the phone, but we eventually confirmed an appointment for Saturday morning.

I was greeted to my delight by the stylist’s wife – from Portland, Oregon! I hit the jack-pot and had a translator! The salon was beautiful; it was airy, minimalistic, and spa-like with massive windows showcasing the beauty of the canal. I received the most enjoyable shampooing of my life equipped with a hot towel treatment and massage. I was also able to vent about the corona-virus to Jennifer. As my hair was being cut a swan glided into view as cherry blossoms floated down onto the soft current of the canal – I was so awe-struck by the beauty and harmony of this moment; so captivated that I thought Jesus himself was about to descend in a cloud – letting me know that I had passed the exam, and made it to Heaven.

Needless to say, I left the salon genuinely pleased; Keita and Jennifer are lovely people, and I will definitely be returning.

Yon (four): Onsens

DISCLAIMER: I want to preface this by saying I went to an onsen weeks ago, before the virus gained traction in our area; I will not be going back to an onsen anytime soon! (I won’t be doing much of anything for a while.)

Japan has tons of active volcanos, so Japan has been blessed with natural hot springs all throughout the country. An onsen is basically a natural hot spring bath where one goes to relax. Some onsens are coed, but most are divided into male and female sections – as you onsen in your birthday suit. Contrary to the stereotypical graduate of Western Washington University – I am not a free-spirited nudist, but I figured when you’re in Japan you do as the Japanese do.

My friends and I started the day with a hanami picnic under the cherry blossoms, and then headed to a nearby onsen. Below, I’ll include a passage on onsen protocol from “A Little Book of Japanese Contentments” by Erin Niimi Longhurst. I’ll also include an online picture I found of the onsen.

For being naked in a bath with a bunch of strangers I was strangely relaxed and unbothered – perhaps that was due to the several alcoholic beverages I had consumed at the hanami picnic. I had a nice time, and enjoyed the inside and outside baths before we headed out to dinner. Going to an onsen is the most Japanese and adventurous thing I’ve done since I’ve been here.

Yon (four): Cuisine

An aspect of Japanese culture that has pushed me out of my comfort zone is its cuisine – for starters I now eat animals, so my diet has completely changed (sorry animals ☹). I don’t eat meat while at home, but at school lunch it appears I’ll have to eat meat, fish, and the occasional pregnant fish whole (I’ll let you know how that goes once I cross that bridge). My first Japanese meal I sadly did not like – it was yakisoba with some sort of octopus or squid sautéed with the noodles; I’m happy to report that every Japanese meal since has been delicious! I’ve even had some beginner-level sushi, and I will definitely be going back to a conveyer-belt sushi place (once the world recalibrates). Ramen, curry-rice, chicken katsu – all have been oishii! (Delicious.)

Go (five): Being immersed in Japanese culture

Studying in Austria I got to experience different cultures, and I was able to learn a lot. The cultures of the US and Austria are certainly distinct, but they do share some commonalities – the cultures of Japan and the US on the other hand are very different. Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water here, but I like that feeling; that’s how I know I’m going to learn a lot.

As a foreigner, Japanese culture can appear hermetic: difficult to enter or understand. Granted, I think all cultures can be difficult to understand depending on one’s upbringing. My upbringing has been incredibly western, so I feel grateful that I’m able to experience a culture totally different from my own.

I am out of my comfort zone here, but being out of my comfort zone is generally when I’m at my happiest and most productive. I have now realized how unhappy I was back home; It was nice to live with my family again, but I can’t find fulfillment when I’m a slave to my work schedule, and my only purpose is making money and saving it. I’m drawn to change. I like situations and people who can challenge my understanding of the world, and push me to be better and more confident. This experience has started vastly different from how I imagined it to be months ago, but I am optimistic and excited to be here.

School has been tentatively closed until early May, so I am staying in until then. Feel free to facetime me! That is really my only mode of social interaction for the time being. In my next post I’ll talk about my schools, and English Language Instruction in Japan.

Talk to ya soon,

Tanner

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commander-hanji-zoe · 4 years

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Do you have any advice for a new blog?

🌸 Oh this is such an interesting ask, I’ve been thinking about it for a few days now, sorry it’s taken a while to get back to you but I was thinking how best to answer it! While this blog has only been around for 3 years and I’ve only really started posting in it recently, I have had my main tumblr blog for 10 years and several side blogs with quite a few followers so I’m hoping I can provide some insight! I do apologise as this turned into a bit of a ramble that I feel is about tumblr but beings to overlap into life advice lol - I blame my age. 🌸

1.) I would say firstly, enjoy it. I feel sometimes there’s a lot of pressure to get loads of followers, create new content etc. and you can forget why you’re here. I got tumblr to reblog photos of things that made me happy from bands to tattoos, movie stuff, art etc and occasionally I would forget that and end up getting bogged down in comparing stats and myself to others. So yeah, enjoy it and remember why you joined ^_^

2.) If you love work that others create (writing/art/gif sets etc.) show your appreciation not just with likes but with comments and reblogging where you can/feel comfortable doing so. Likes are great and always appreciated but comments help to inspire and reblogging means more people will see their work. It encourages content creators to continue creating, it’s also a really good way of gaining followers and make friends. If you support others they will likely support you in return.

3.) Share the art/fan art/cosplay photos you love as per above - but don’t repost work. This was something I wasn’t really aware of when I first joined tumblr, a lot of people would just save photos from google or deviant art (it was a very different place back then) and post them on tumblr to show appreciation. But often there would be no artist detail or link to the artist, instead if you find something you like reblog it from the creator. If it isn’t on tumblr and you’d really like to post it here, contact the creator and ask their permission to post - then include a link in the post and explain you have the artist’s permission.

4.) Talk to people :) - Okay like Alice in Wonderland here’s some advice I could really use sometimes! Through tumblr I have met some of the most amazing friends. When I first started out I started chatting to a girl who went to the same Uni as me, we met up to go for coffee, browse record shops and saw The Vaccines together. I’ve also met numerous people who encouraged me to go to Hobbit Con in Germany - I had the most amazing time, remained friends, one of them came to my wedding. I guess the message here is that internet friends are great and you never know what a friendship can blossom into. If there’s someone whose work you admire or blog you love, don’t be afraid to reach out and send a message, even if you feel a bit silly (I often do!).

5.) Tags - My take on tags is pretty simple, tag correctly. I often tag things quite heavily but I make sure that I only tag characters that feature in a post or fandoms that feature in that post etc. You often come across posts where every character in the show has been tagged, I get why people do it, it means the post will come up in more results but it is rather infuriating when you’re looking for something specific. It also looks messy and can make things hard to find on your own blog. So yeah tag the show/film/book etc, tag the relevant characters, add whatever tags you want regarding your feelings/emotions about the post or thoughts on it. But ideally keep it relevant. On that note, tag ships (people often blacklist ships they dislike or that they find problematic) so doing this helps everyone. Anything that’s only really suitable for people 18+ tag however you see fit (due to Tumblr’s changes last year we had to revert to tagging things on the citrus scale again so I tag anything like that as lemon as well as nsft) Finally Trigger/content warnings - I do use them, some people put warnings on everything, some people don’t do at all. Again like with shipping it is helpful for people who have

6.) Remember to take breaks - tumblr can be a little addictive and easy to pass time (like social media) so remember to take breaks, when you get back they’ll be loads of new stuff on your dashboard to look at ^_^

7.) Follow loads of blogs! I probably should have put this higher up. But have a think about the kind of content you want to see and spend some time searching for blogs that fit that, I also find it’s nice to follow some more aesthetic blogs or blogs that are calming/relaxing, seeing things like that on my dash is always a reminder to have a breather!

8.) Enjoy playing around with themes - decide what you want your blog to be about (and remember there’s nothing wrong with having a main blog that’s a little bit of everything you love as well as personal stuff!) and then have fun with the settings. There’s a lot of free tumblr themes, some of which are pretty neat and user friendly in terms of customisation. Don’t be afraid to ask questions if you’re stuck.

9.) Side blogs are also really great. I begun to create side blogs because I didn’t want to spam my main blog with Game of Thrones, The Hobbit, Red Dead Redemption 2 or Attack on Titan, so I created side blogs. I still post about all these things on main but not as frequently. A side blog can also be good if you want to create a blog you can share with employers - I have a side blog for my photography and one for my writing. Sideblogs are also a good way of keeping certain material away from the blog where people in real life are most likely to find you. Generally I won’t post 18+ material on my main blog, so smutty fan fiction etc. goes on the side blogs. As a side note, when you have a side blog you cannot like posts or ask questions as that side blog - it will be from your main blog.

10.) Try not to get disheartened if you create original content and it doesn’t get a lot of attention at first. When you create a blog it can take time to gain followers/traction. But remember as per point 1, that Tumblr should be fun and creating content should first and fore mostly be for you and your enjoyement. But if you continue to create, tag appropriately but also show appreciation for fellow creators there’s no reason why in time you won’t flourish. And as per point 3, if you reblog others work there’s a chance they in return will reblog your art.

11.) There’s extension kits you can get for tumblr, I know some people use them and find them helpful. I’m not sure they’re as poplar/needed now as they used to be. I used to use one but don’t feel the need now, however might be worth a google or asking someone more knowledgeable to see if it’ll work for you.

12.) You can blacklist tags through settings, if there’s any ships, characters, things you’d rather not see on your dash or that you find upsetting or triggering I’d recommend blacklisting them. If people tag correctly you shouldn’t much/if any of it.

13.) Under blog settings you can also choose whether you want your blog to be searchable via the email address you registered with and on google. I switched this off pretty much as soon as it became a feature! My blogs, even my main blog are a piece of me which is only shared with a select few people in real life. I really do not need my colleagues, employers, certain family/friends finding this!

14.) Use Queues! I adore a queue.... Once I discovered they were a thing I try to have around 100 posts in my queue on main at any time. You can amend how many times you post a day (mine is around 8-12 times, I change it when i go away). It just means your blog remains active even if you can’t really log on for a week or two or if you’re on holiday. Occasionally I’ll add original posts into my queue with writing, it can be nice to come back and see the feedback. A lot of people put ‘queue’ in the tag, but you’ll realise most people have a quirky tag. For example on main mine is - one does not simply queue their way through tumblr. And on my red dead blog it’s - I had a god damn queue! Sadly on here I haven’t got one yet!

15.) Finally I would say engage in discourse as little as possible. It can be tempting and while drama can be fun for a while, even just to watch from the outside it can quickly escalate into something nasty and toxic. At first you might want to join in but tumblr can be, well it can be a lot at times and very noisy with everyone screaming their opinions and trying to be louder than the person before. I would say no fandom is inherently toxic, but it happens. A fandom I was heavily involved in last year had so much discourse and there was so much drama that even though I wasn’t involved in it my anxiety was through the roof, I had a panic attack over it and felt paranoid. After speaking to other older members in the fandom I felt much better (they too were annoyed with what was happening) and we realised that essentially a lot of it boiled down to a real lack of critical thinking. I’m not saying don’t get involved at all, sometimes I have seen things where I’ve felt things need to be said/action taken especially when it comes to intolerance and hatred. But I would say when you do engage - pick your battles. (I hope this last one makes sense). I started writing a lot more and going into the politics of it and ranting about bigots and then thought that’s probably enough! 😁

I hope this post helps! Like I said I’ve never been asked something like this so it took a bit of thinking but these are some of the key thoughts I had.

edit - I meant to add that obviously the above is just my opinion and based on my experiences on tumblr/thoughts about things.

#asks #blogging #tumblr stuff #advice I guess?#rambling #non aot #non snk

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heartfeltheart · 4 years

Text

N3H Prompt 6: Enji and Rei falling in love

Asked by: Anon.

Prompt List: https://heartfeltheart.tumblr.com/post/190728905272/number3heroau-pick-or-send-a-prompt

Enji’s Text.

Rei’s Text.

Rei gulped in an attempt to hide her nerves. She had just received information that the agency she was interning in was closing down due to the Pro-Hero going into retirement and had no successor take over them. Thus, leaving the Third-Year to fend for herself at this point. She chewed on her bottom lip as she looked into her contacts looking for anyone to help her.

Masaru is doing an internship won’t be any help as he’s interning at a Support Agency.

There was a snowball chance in hell she’ll ask Hisashi for help. That would be the last thing Rei wanted to do at this point.

…Rei slowly scrolled down her contacts and landed on an old school companion’s companion... Which had heart emojis surrounding it. She clicked on the number to text said person. The text wouldn’t be out of the blue between them, they have maintained a cordial friendship. It mainly started for Rei to update Enji on Hisashi and everything else that has been happening on. It has become a casual thing they would do, it was an easy going friendship they have created.

❄️Rei❄️: Enji? Do you a minute?

Less than minute went by before Rei got a response.

🔥Enji🔥: Not for a phone call, texting only for now. I heard the agency you were interning is closing down. You okay?

Rei blinked, how did he…?

🔥Enji🔥: Masaru texted me, after you texted him.

❄️Rei❄️: Of course, he did… Is there anyway you could help me? I know I was once scouted to go to All Might Agency, but I lost my contacts to the place.

🔥Enji🔥: Well… I’m no longer at All Might Agency…

❄️Rei❄️: What.

🔥Enji🔥: I’m making my own agency, I've gained enough traction in the Pro-Hero community to start up my own agency.

❄️Rei❄️: You’re how old? 19!!!!

🔥Enji🔥: Yeah…

❄️Rei❄️: Need help? I helped Count with the majority of the paperwork… which should have been a red flag…

🔥Enji🔥: PLEASE! I am going to need all the help I could get at this point!

-.-

“This place…. Looks promising.” Rei let out a low whistle at the empty building that would become the future of Endeavor Agency. She looked over to see said hero walking out of the building, with a packet of papers in hand. Walking up to her friend and now mentor, Rei could tell Enji was completely over his head. His hair is out of its usual style with how many times he ran his hands through it, and his clothing is covered in paint and dust. “Still a work in progress, I take it?”

“I am very fortunate I took the test to take up trainee’s, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to complete your internship.” Enji explained before showing Rei the pile of paperwork. “All Might hates doing paperwork and always pushed it onto others. He never taught me anything about it, you would be doing me a massive favor if you could help me.”

Rei took the pile of paperwork and looked through it. She would occasionally look up to see Enji staring at her, almost pleadingly. This was a massive first for her. In all the time she had known him, Enji always stood tall and strong. Always carrying a smile and it was something she admired about the older teen. “Has anyone else considered joining the agency?”

“A bunch of side-kicks from your old agency mostly.”

“…. That would explain so much…” Rei let out a troubled sigh, before she walked towards the building.

“Er… Rei?”

Rei turned around to see Enji looking away from her, she could see his ears were a bright shade of red. This is new. She was extremely tempted to bring out her phone to take a picture of the scene before her. “Yes?”

“Thank you for helping me.” Enji bowed in Rei’s direction, his entire posture relaxed as he was able to say what he wanted to say aloud.

Rei in turn, matched his bow. “No, thank you for taking me on. You could have easily turned me away.”

-.-

When Endeavor asked Glacial to be his heroic partner, a month after she had graduated from U.A. and announced she would be staying at his agency. By this time, they had worked together for around year at this point. They have a system and know each other’s strengths and weaknesses.

People have started talking about them, and even they have started to talk about them. At this point, Enji had grown to enjoy Rei’s presence. He likes her drive of being a hero, how she should help anyone in whatever way possible and… he could feel his ears turning red again. As for Rei, she will always deny any sort of attraction towards her mentor it would be considered inappropriate. This doesn’t stop her develop feelings for him, but she will deny it as the man is completely dense when it comes to romance.

Dense. Even if Rei would attempt to flirt or show any sort of affection towards Enji, it goes directly over his head. So when Enji asked Rei to be hero partner, her heart soared. He saw her as his equal and not as a mentor and mentee. Rei agreed to the partnership thus creating the team Endeavor and Glacial.

Fans raved at the news of the Superhero Duo. People gushing out that their OTP are coming true or how there’s a possibility this duo could be more than a duo in romantic terms.

What changed, was when Rei caught Enji talking to Masaru about his feelings for her. Going on that he had developed feelings for Rei since back at U.A. but did not follow through with it due to Hisashi having feelings for Rei. Then to talk about the year Rei interned in the agency and fully knowing his still remaining feelings are inappropriate, thus didn’t act on it. So when he had asked her to be his partner, in heroic terms, he ran back to his office and slammed his head against his desk for ruining the moment once again. At this point, Masaru only grinned and motioned for Enji to turn around to see Rei giving him a gob smack expression.

(Masaru was kicked out of his own personnel office for his friends to talk out their feelings…)

-.-

The proposal…

Endeavor and Glacial just took down their toughest opponent yet to date. It was a long and dragged out fight that took out a lout out of them. With Endeavor favoring one leg over the other and Glacial having to cut up a piece of costume to use as a makeshift bandage for a rather deep cut she now sported on her arm.

Glacial was examining her wound when she took note of civilians started to circle around her and Endeavor. She paid no mind to it, this was a daily occurrence after all. Except for the… squeals and looks of complete awe… She turned to see Endeavor on one knee, but this did not surprise her. After all, his leg got hurt so maybe he’s examine the extent of it. What did surprise her was when Endeavor pulled out a velvet box. Now, everyone was squealing, screaming and so on at the scene before them.

Endeavor didn’t have time to pop the question before he got glomp Glacial, who is kissing all over his face while saying yes in-between each kiss.

#N3H #Prompt 6 #Prompt #MHA #BNHA

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