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givemefevrr · 2 months

Note

I just read your dom!enha post and jake ?? mr sim ?? the thought of him being possessive ??? ugh I'm the weakest soldier out there !! him seeing you run into your ex and just have a simple convo yet he gets moody af for the few next days without telling why he's suddenly like this then all this ending up in an angry sex ?? pleaseeeeeeee write it in your words I can't do this myself !!! love you in advance

- 🌷 anon

Is It Him or Me? (NSFW)

Pairings: possessive dom!Jake x fem!reader

Warnings: jealousy, possessiveness, light angst, rough sex, angry sex (all consentual), swearing, fingering, edging (?), cum eating (?), teasing, begging, overstimulation, kissing, dry humping, biting/marking, facials, pet names (baby, pretty girl, etc.), Heeseung is your ex

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Jake is a great boyfriend. He absolutely adores you, and whenever you are out together, he always holds your hand and steals kisses whenever he can. And that's exactly what is occurring right now.

Standing in line at a cafe, waiting to order, you couldn't help but giggle and squirm as Jake nuzzled into your neck, peppering your skin with soft, tickling kisses. Jake had been talking about bringing you here for months, as this was his favorite coffee joint, which he used to work at all through high school. It's on the other side of town, so it was a bit of a trip. But he chose the perfect day to bring you.

"Stop it, Jake, that tickles," you playfully protest, gently pushing him away amidst your laughter.

With a grin and sparkling eyes, Jake teased, "But you love it when I tickle you," punctuating his words with a lingering kiss on your cheek.

Suppressing your laughter, you swatted at him. "Not in public, you goof," you replied, noticing amused glances from others in the line.

Jake chuckled, intertwining his fingers with yours as he turned his attention to the menu. "So, what are you in the mood for?" he asked, excitement radiating from him–practically making him vibrate.

"Hmm, what would you recommend, Mr. Barista?" You asked, scanning the menu before smiling up at Jake.

Eyes lighting up, Jake exclaimed, "Vanilla latte, of course! That's what I'm getting. Their vanilla lattes are the best. Well, at least when I worked here, they were."

You scoffed at his pride but ultimately decided on the vanilla latte.

But then you saw him. The bell atop the door chimed, a gust of wind blowing into the cafe upon their entrance. The familiar man seemed to recognize you, too, as he locked eyes with you and walked over.

It's your ex-boyfriend.

It's not like the two of you left off on bad terms, but you guys haven't talked or seen each other since the breakup, making this incredibly awkward.

"Hey," your ex greeted, approaching you with a friendly smile.

You glanced at Jake slightly before answering, the boy paying little attention to the conversation. Responding with forced nonchalance, you exchanged pleasantries, hoping the conversation would end soon.

"I didn't expect to run into you here," your ex continued, "It's quite a trip from Hillsdale, huh?"

It's weird, considering you both live in the same town, yet he coincidentally showed up in the same cafe, almost 45 minutes away, at the same time as you.

"Yeah, it's just a day trip," you nod.

He nods, too, the awkwardness becoming increasingly more apparent the longer the conversation continues.

"So, how have you been? What have you been up to? You look good," he complimented, looking you up and down.

"Ah, I've been great. I finally got a temp job for that marketing company downtown," you smiled softly, proud of your achievements.

"That's amazing! Yeah, I work at a car dealership about 10 minutes away from this place now. What a coincidence, though," he chuckled, finally becoming aware of Jake standing beside him. "Who's this?"

"Oh, Jake. This is Heeseung," you glanced at Jake once more. "My ex," you added a bit quieter, noticing that you'd caught the attention of other people around you.

You could feel Jake's grip on your hand tightening upon hearing that Heeseung was your ex, but he said nothing–masking any discomfort with a forced smile.

"Heeseung, this is my boyfriend, Jake." Heeseung looked like a deer in headlights, an embarrassed flush rising on his neck as he let out a matching embarrassed laugh.

"Oh, my bad, man. I didn't even know," he laughed, sticking a hand towards Jake for a truce.

Jake wore a small, forced smile and shook Heeseung's hand. "You're all good," he replied.

"Well, I'll leave you two be." Heeseung looked back at you. "We'll have to catch up again sometime," he said before walking to the back of the line.

After he left, there was a silence between you and Jake. You leaned into his shoulder slightly, cuddling up to him, as cuddles always made him feel better. Feeling uncomfortable, you broke the silence and said, "Well, it was nice seeing him again, I guess."

Jake nodded but didn't say anything, his grip on your hand tightening as you both stood in line at the cafe.

When it was your turn to order, you excitedly ordered the vanilla latte Jake recommended. However, Jake didn't even bother getting anything for himself, even though this was allegedly his favorite place. He put a twenty-dollar bill on the counter and mumbled for the cashier to keep the change, around $15. He just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

As your drink was being made, you and Jake waited by the to-go station. When the kind barista boy handed you your drink and said, "Have a great day. I hope you enjoy the nice weather," you reached out to take it.

But Jake beat you to it, grabbing it from the boy and handing it to you instead. "Let's go," he said, practically dragging you out of the cafe.

Trying not to spoil the date with his attitude, he suggested walking around the city to enjoy the weather.

He bought you some light pink and blue flowers from a small vendor, seeing you croon at them, knowing they were your favorite kind.

Next, you walked across a footbridge over a stream, asking Jake to take a picture of you with the beautiful view in the background. You walked, thinking about how Jake had the privilege of taking this beautiful path home from school every day.

Finally, as the sun set, you both decided to stop at an ice cream shop. The shop's perimeters had a swinging chair facing a small body of water with fishing docks along the edges. You two sat on the swinging chair with your ice cream in hand, Jake having chosen not to get anything for himself once again.

He had been trying to make the day fun by buying you flowers and taking you to these nice places from his childhood. But even as he handed the flowers to you, you saw his expression falter. Even as he walked across the bridge with you, he hadn't even told you that story about him taking the bridge path home from school–you made that up yourself to fill the gaps of what wasn't spoken. And even as he sits with you now, he sits on the other side of the swing, resting on his chin in his hand on the armrest. His sulky mood and his distance are so unlike him.

Jake had tried not to ruin the date, but his emotions were still visible despite his efforts.

You leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, thanking him for the "wonderful" day. But he remained quiet, fidgeting with his hands and avoiding your gaze.

And he said nothing on the car ride home as well, only having a hand attached to your thigh as he drove silently.

–

Jake was certainly in some sort of mood, as his behavior persisted for the next few days.

He became increasingly distant, his temper flaring at the most minor inconveniences. If he ran out of milk for his cereal, he'd fly into a rage to the point tears would well up in his eyes as he curled up on the floor in frustration for hours.

He seemed to withdraw from you completely, barely initiating hugs or kisses like he used to. You tried to talk to him and understand what was happening, but he remained tight-lipped, shutting you out of whatever bothered him.

Almost every night ended with him laying in your lap, upset at something to the point he's shaking, and you running your hands through his hair to try to calm him down. He'd eventually fall asleep in your lap, only to be up and gone elsewhere before you woke up in the morning.

Then, one day, something happened that pushed Jake over the edge. It was one of those nights you found yourself playing with his hair, trying to soothe him as he wrestled with his inner demons.

It was almost bedtime, and you wore only one of his baggy t-shirts and underwear, as you usually did for bed. You were on your phone, mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, when a notification popped up. It was from your ex—he was trying to follow you.

You hesitated, reading it, and weren't planning on accepting the request, yet Jake must have thought otherwise. He tensed up upon seeing the notification.

And moments later, he was sitting upright, his arms practically caging you between him and the couch cousin, kissing you roughly, placing your phone on the floor. You weren't against his sudden switch-up, as you haven't gotten a kiss from him in almost a week now.

You opened your mouth as he asked for entrance, tonguing at your lips. And as he deepened the kiss, he began moving, causing you to chase his lips, following his movements. He lifted you off the couch, carrying you to your room, refusing to let go of your lips, and once he met the edge of your bed, he immediately plopped you down and crawled on top of you, kissing down your neck, sucking and biting dark marks into your skin.

"I fucking hate him," Jake grunted into your neck, his voice muffled, and you barely just caught what he said.

A lightbulb lit up in your head. Ah, that makes sense.

"Is that why you've been in such a mood lately? Because of one interaction I had with Heeseung, who I haven't thought about for years?" you asked, lifting his head up from your skin.

Jake's eyes bore into yours, filled with anger and frustration. "Don't say his name," he commanded, his mood worsening. So, you decided not to press the issue further, realizing that mentioning Heeseung's name only fueled Jake's anger.

Jake ducked back to your neck, lips trailing down. His kisses became more urgent as he pushed your shirt up, revealing your skin underneath. His hands roamed up the sides of your body, his touch desperate and needy. You could feel the intensity of his emotions in every kiss, every touch.

Jake continued to kiss down your chest, his movements almost rushed. His hands roamed over your back, slipping up the back of your sports bra.

"Off–" He grunted, already pushing your shirt up and off your shoulders along with the bra, leaving you only in your underwear. "Take it all off."

His mouth immediately connected back to your skin, biting your shoulder and kissing all the way down to your chest, where he took his time marking you up. You ran your fingers through his hair, gently guiding and reassuring him with your touch. Despite his roughness, Jake's actions were vulnerable.

His hands gripped your hips and thighs and squeezed roughly, his fingers definitely leaving bruises. You tugged on his shirt, to which he willingly took it off, yet eager to return to your skin.

"Mine…" Jake kissed down your chest to your stomach, mumbling the word repeatedly. "You're mine. Say it." Jake's voice was low, his gaze on you dark, staring at your body with pure rage and hunger.

"I'm yours," you giggled. You had never seen him like this before and found it slightly endearing.

But he wasn't having any of that. "This isn't a fucking joke. Say it." he scolded, gripping your face and effectively grabbing your attention. "Say that you're mine and not… not his…"

Yet with the way he squeezed your cheeks with one hand–pushing your lips out, making you look stupid–there was no way for you to coherently do as he asked. But you try nonetheless.

With a whimper, looking right into his blown-out pupils, you said, "I'm yours. O-only yours, I promise," as best you could.

His possessiveness only turned you on more, and you could feel yourself growing wetter with every touch. Satisfied with the response, his lips crashed back down onto yours hungrily. He growled against your lips, letting go of your face and using that hand to roam down your body, his fingers hovering outside your panties.

You squeaked into his mouth, thrashing slightly as his thumb rubbed hard at your clit, overstimulating you.

He pinned your hips down on the mattress to prevent you from squirming, continuing his administrations with a sick grin on his lips. You watched his face as his anger turned into lust, fueled by pure jealousy. You grabbed onto his shoulders, pulling him closer as you rocked your hips against his hand.

Smirking, he added more pressure to your clit, causing you to try to writhe even more.

"More," you whimper almost inaudibly.

"Hm?" Jake asked, as if he didn't hear you. But with the look on his face, you could tell that he did. "You want me to stop?" You whimpered softly, shaking your head and reaching for his hand.

Despite that, he stopped touching where you needed it the most, earning a whine and more squirming, even though he's not touching you anymore.

"N-no, please don't stop," you whined, reaching for his wrist and pulling it back to your heat.

He just looked at you condescending as you humped his hand, and if you were in a normal state of mind, you would have had enough social awareness to stop–but you were far too horny right now.

"Please," you begged again, looking up at him with eyes glossed over with need, your hips bucking against his hand as you desperately tried to get more friction.

Jake smirked at your eagerness before giving you mercy, pulling your panties off and sliding a finger inside you, making you gasp. He grunted in response, returning to trailing hot kisses on your skin. You could feel his teeth grazing over your skin, knowing that by the time he's done, you'll be covered in bruises for days.

And that only turned you on even more.

"Oh god–" your breath hitches in your throat, your fingers gripping the sheets tightly.

"You like that, don't you, baby? My fingers inside you?" he purred, watching as you twitched and whined beneath him. "You love how I make you feel, how I can make you fall apart with just my fingers."

"Yes, so good– Fuck," you moaned, arching your back in pleasure as he added another finger and began to thrust harder and curl his fingers just how you like it, stretching you and filling you in a way that only he could. His other hand pressed against your lower stomach, the pressure making you even more sensitive.

"He doesn't know how to fucking touch you like I do," Jake rasped, his voice laced with arrogance. "I know just by the way you came so hard the first time I fingered you–there's no way that fucker has made you cum before. Only I can make you feel this good."

You could only nod wordlessly, unable to form a coherent sentence. Jake loved every second of it, the smug smirk never leaving his face. Your hands reach down to his sweatpants, trying to undo them.

"You want it so bad, don't you?" He cocked his head to the side, almost condescending. You frantically nod, hoping he'll just give you what you want like he usually does. And you get hopeful with how Jake chuckles darkly and pulls his pants down a bit, exposing his throbbing cock.

You mewled a bit as he pulled out his fingers and brought them to his lips, licking them clean with a satisfied look. He positions himself at your entrance and leans over you, his face inches from yours. But his following words crush all hope, and you know you'll have to do more begging. "Do you want me? Or do you want him?"

"You," the desperation in your voice was clear and urgent. "Please. I don't want Heesueng, only want you. Just you–"

But before you can finish begging, Jake slams into you, filling you completely.

"Didn't I tell you not to fucking say his name?" His hands grip your hips tightly as he starts to pump into you, pulling you back onto him with each thrust. He doesn't hold back, his pace rough and frantic with all his pent-up rage and jealousy.

You let out a moan, arching your back. Jake was rough, and it was shocking. But oh, it felt good. It felt better than anyone you had been with before. Jake knew your body so well and knew exactly how to make you lose control.

You dig your nails into his shoulders, neither caring about the deep red marks as you press into his skin. Your walls clench around him, each thrust bringing you closer to the edge of sanity.

Jake's voice breaks during one of his moans. "C-can't believe he saw you like this before. I f-fucking hate him. Only I'm allowed to see you like this," he pants and his movements become sloppy, holding your hips down tightly as he continues to fuck you mercilessly. And his movements continued to get more and more desperate, his words becoming incoherent as he kept mentioning your ex.

You could feel the familiar coil in your stomach tighten as you were pushed closer and closer to your breaking point. "P-please, m' gonna–" you gasp, clenching your teeth together as Jake's cock hits just the right spot inside you.

He uses a hand that was holding your hip to rub circles over your clit, trying to coax you to your orgasm. He then moves his other hand back to your lower belly, pressing down on it hard, like he did earlier. He hadn't done this before tonight, but you wish he had because you can feel his cock pressing against all the right spots even more now. You can't help but feel a bit jealous yourself, wondering who he learned that from.

But regardless, the added stimulation sent you over the edge, your body shaking as you came hard around Jake's cock, pulling some stray swears from him.

But Jake wasn't done with you yet. He kept fucking you, even as you rode out your orgasm, pushing you into overstimulation. You could barely form a coherent thought as he continued to pound into you, his own release still building inside him.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he grunted, his thrusts becoming shorter and rougher. "My pretty girl. I'm gonna cum all over your pretty face."

And with one final hard thrust, he pulled out, maneuvering himself to jerk off over your face.

You were cock drunk at this point, and your face must have shown this, as Jake chuckled deeply. He cooed, brushing his hand on your cheek and wiping away tears you didn't know had fallen. "Awe, who did this to you? Who's got you all fucked out like this?"

And you finally made out a broken "you" through your whines and panting.

"Yeah, that's right," your response makes his grin widen, seemingly with pride. "Me, not him," Jake spoke as if trying to convince himself more than you.

It only takes a couple more tugs before his hot release splatters across your face, his moans and deep laughter mixed with one another as he comes down from his high.

When he's done, he crawls to lay next to you, seemingly a whole new person.

His puppy-like personality is back, wearing the loving smile he always has when looking at you as he wipes his cum off your face with the corner of your sheets.

Afterwards, he peppers your face and lips with soft kisses, speaking equally soft words. "I'm sorry, baby," he nestles up next to you as you do the same thing, a small smile on your face, still kind of out of it. Was that too much? I've just been so moody lately because of…yeah."

"No, I just wish you'd talk to me and not let everything build up." You pout, placing your palm on his cheek before snorting out a laugh. "Not that it wasn't amazing. I've never seen you so possessive–it was hot."

He giggled at this, too, a soft blush rising in the apple of his cheeks.

"But really, talk to me next. You aren't okay after something like that. Okay?"

"Gotcha," He scoffs before peppering you with kisses all over again.

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Ahh!! I guess your my first anon 🌷 :)

Also, apologies for the insane word count, I yap a lot as you can tell 😅

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belokhvostikova · 4 months

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𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 | After five months of no reconciliation with the man whose lifestyle became too much for you to manage, you're met with your ex-boyfriend, the rockstar, after an accident leaves you in the hospital, and you face the realization that Eddie Munson is still your emergency contact.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | Swearing, crying, mentions of alcohol consumption, hard drug use, insecurities, minor jealousy, fighting, breakup, brief mention of infidelity (no cheating, though), hospital setting, head injury, concussion, mentions of stitches, mentions of blood, and mentions of seizures.

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞 | Y'all, I'm 19! So, as a gift to you (whatever logic that is) here's a fic that takes place around Christmas, so I guess, also a belated Christmas gift. Happy birthday and Merry Christmas! Also, the extent of my knowledge on injuries is purely based on the fact that I took both Health Science I and II in high school, and, well, that's it. So, if anything is inaccurate, NO IT'S NOT (because I said so).

“Will you-” so vividly, you heard his boisterous laughter dense the air sweetly, his face glowing with the ever peaking sunlight that glimmered the sparkling snow outside each time you peered up to his extended height. “It’s like you’re trying to make me fall!” His dramatic accusations were merely met with your fits of giggles, something he so gladly wished to always be met with, as the graze of your cold fingers buzzed his skin with the excitement of what used to be your touch. “Seriously, baby, I can’t finish this if you’re attacking me.”

But you made no effort to stop, continuing your precise placement of delicate ornaments upon the belt loops of his jeans, the links of his chain, the pockets of his backside, perhaps even one snuggly secured in the threaded rips of his pants. With your boyfriend at your mercy—stuck a couple feet higher atop the fifth step of the ladder to fulfill your dreams of draping green garland to surround your high rise windows—you couldn’t help the ebullient urge to decorate him as you pleased, bringing some loving festivities to the black denim ensemble he regularly sported.

Effervescent balls of sparkling reds and yellows accompanied the hanging bandana of his back pocket. “You’re like my very own personal Christmas tree!” You beamed upwards, watching a smile that was personal to himself, as he lavished in the innocence this holiday expelled from you. “C’mon,” a fatuous whine that had him chuckling with strings of fake green leaving his hand to secure around the window frame, “have a little spirit!”

And perhaps, that’s all you were trying to have now: spirit.

Because in the blink of an eye, the purity of crystalline, white snow had turned into sludges of watery dirt to meet the once twinkling hues to stringing lights that now simply became the bane of your existence. Because to you, everything embellished itself as a mockery to the happily ever after you now no longer had.

But it never hurt to try, and yet, trying became the very literal thing that hurt you.

“…What occurred in the midst of their fourth track, Corroded Coffin’s notable ‘Goliath’s Wrath,’ left fans in a frenzy, when frontma…” Your eyes blurred with exhaustion, attempting to fight back the heaviness of your eyelids that left your vision impaired by spotty shades of blacks and whites. Various pitches of ringing clashing with static voices began provoking that throbbing ache in your head that pounded your brain to mush. “…Information falls scarcely upon accuracy, though there were mentions of a family emergency as to the reaso…” One harsh breath for your dense chest left your nose to be invaded by the artificial, bitterness of antiseptic. All more of a reason for your eyes to screw shut in a brutal endeavor to appease the gnawing of your head. “…Demanding refunds for a set that had to go on without the leading m-”

“You’re up!” Your eyes shot open. His aging skin told stories of his life, crinkling into an abundance of creases that welcomed your startled awakening. “I know things may seem a little scary and confusing here, kid.” Heaving became an understatement when your eyes accepted the burning tiles of white around the room, and suddenly, whatever news outlet that was recounting the upheaval of 90s Hollywood from the tiny television that served its purpose of passing time was becoming drowned out by the abrasive beeping of monitors that clung to your body with tubes. “But just bare with me, alright, everything’s going to be okay.”

Okay? Your body felt cold under the roughness of hospital linen. “I-I…” A reckless try at sitting up left your mouth soaring with an agonizing groan from the pain, your sore body all too weak for the heavy lifting at your head, that suddenly felt the density of a dozen bricks that smashed together.

“Take it easy, alright.” The older gentleman smiled, urging you to lay back against the flat pillow with his simple gestures. “I know things are a little hazy here, but my name is Dr. Rosenthal, would you be able to tell me yours?” Your brows scowled at the disparaging child-talk the man thirty years your senior was showcasing you.

With a roll to your eyes—something instantly regretted because of the pain in your head—you dryly croaked. “Y-Y/N.” It was all too bright. God, what would it give to flip off the overhead lights? You never really were a fan of overhead lights, but his excuse of, “we have money now, these lights can stay on,” had a knack for making you giggle. It’d been five months since those overhead lights were ever turned on again. You wondered how often Ed-

“That’s great!” Dr. Rosenthal smiled, and you accepted the scraping scribble of his pen against his papered clipboard to satiate the buzz of your brain. “Tell me, Y/N can you remember anything about how you may have gotten here? Any recollections you may-”

“Where is- is she here?!” You fought the throb of your head to snap into the direction of the door, where Dr. Rosenthal mimicked your concern. In truth, the smell hadn’t been all too great; beads of perspiration coated his body in part with the concoction of spiced cologne and the bitter bourbon he regularly downed before coming face-to-face with thousands in a packed arena. “Y/N- she’s- what, what happe- oh, shit!” Cindy Jaurick had been a renowned makeup artist in Hollywood, but with the dryness of his skin, even she couldn’t conceal the bruising of his sleep-deprived eyes; splotches of alabaster cream became patchy upon his bags that smeared with the waxiness of black liner.

Eddie Munson, all leather and chains that clashed with his truest self of denims and tees. A facade so greatly curated by the hands of top executives that in a span of three years, millions were acquired to his name. Such a stupid name, you now thought.

A heavy step forward left his booted foot clanking against the white tiles, a movement too abrasive for your liking, as his incoming hand has you pushing back from his reaching touch. “Excuse me, sir, you need to step back and calm down.” Dr. Rosenthal proclaimed, a man of loyalty to his position, clearly perturbed by any bothersome that came to his patients.

“I just- what the hell happened, are you okay?!” His jewelry—the real kind, far from the fake silver he once adorned that periodically fused his fingers green, but loved them more than anything—jingled to the admission of his distress, hands harshly raking through the chunks of sweaty hair over the sight of your damaged self.

An audible clap came with the hit of Dr. Rosenthal’s clipboard to Eddie’s exposed chest, where the buttons of his designer brand had been deliberate to showcase the permanent markings of his tattooed skin. “Sir, unless you are a relative or partner of-”

“Yes! Yes, I’m her boyfriend-”

Your memory hadn’t served you right for the occasions that brought you to the hospital, but you knew enough that Eddie Munson no longer brandished the title of such, given the circumstances that occurred five months ago. “N-No, he’s, um, not… anymore.”

“Then, sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave-”

“No, I- do you even know who I am?” Eddie watched your face scrunch with disgust at his language to the doctor, but whatever damage control he attempted fell short on your solidified opinion of a distasteful eye roll against him. “Shit, no- like, I mean you called me. I-I’m her emergency contact! I swear it, I’m Eddie!”

And you slumped back against your bed. Clear as day, you remembered the cursive handwriting that marked the page with the name and number of your ex-boyfriend. When a year ago, months apart finally came to a halt as Eddie’s touring schedule cleared for the coming holidays. It would suffice to say the bedroom of your quaint Indianapolis townhouse saw little abandonment, with silk sheets becoming imprinted with the weight of your bodies that refused to leave the warmth of each other’s depraved company. In doing so, your judgment became clouded from the usual routine of bathroom care that came after a heated rendezvous. But could you be blamed? Believe it or not, there actually was a time when Eddie’s embrace brought you comfort and peace. What eventually transpired into a run-of-mill UTI had actually worsened quicker than expected. Over-the-counter medication did little to relieve you from the infection, and when your back suddenly began to ache, you knew a trip to St. George's Hospital was in need. With a close call, your kidneys were able to stay intact to your body, and the use of dialysis was spared from your future. And yet, who knew the most haunting occasion of that experience would come with the boyish smile of Eddie Munson, as he watched with lovesick eyes as you entrusted him as the man you’d want in the case of an emergency.

My god, how times have changed…

“Um, yeah, yeah, he is.” You swallowed the dryness of your throat, hoping the commotion of everything would finally settle to alleviate the stress of your head.

“Well, Ms. Y/L/N, it’s up to you if you’d like him here.” Dr. Rosenthal sighed, a harsh click to his pen that surely cemented his dislike for the gaudy man upon him. “Your neighbor has already left, but I can assure you that the nurses will make frequent routines to keep you in care.”

Neighbor? “I- um, Trevor?” Your head spun with the lack thereof details that painfully tried to piece themselves together.

Eddie's hair flew with the snap of his head to your doctor, as his scowl silently demanded the explanation you both were desperate to hear. Dr. Rosenthal cleared his throat. “Ms. Y/L/N, you took quite the fall off a ladder in your home. After a while, your neighbor had found you, and did the deed of bringing you over. He mentioned you had borrowed his ladder to put up-”

“Christmas decorations.” What a wonderful feeling it was to have the epiphany that was as simple as regained memory. Where you no longer had a boyfriend to gladly bear the brunt work of Christmas decorations for your sole enjoyment, you now had to dish out yourself. Unloading dusty boxes had usually accompanied a teasing compliment to the muscles that bulged from his arms, though now, your back felt the strain of heavy lifting, because you refused to properly use your legs. “Um, y-yeah, I remember- well, I don’t remember falling, but, uh, I used Trevor’s ladder for the, um, y’know, what do you call them? The green, leaf stringy-”

“Garlands?” Dr. Rosenthal and Eddie spoke simultaneously.

And you perked up as best as your body would allow. “Yeah, garlands!” Your voice excitedly croaked. “You, uh, y-you remember?” For once, in five months, you actually acknowledged him. Eddie. “I-I like those garlands around our- my windows.”

He remembered. Your giggles ringing in his ears like magical sleigh bells. Your touch warming his skin against the burning cold. Your eyes twinkling over the simplicity of green garlands… something he couldn’t even provide you with now.

“That’s good.” Dr. Rosenthal smiled. “You’re recalling events and… history,” he pursed his lips against Eddie’s cold demeanor, “wonderfully. It’s a good sign of minimal memory loss, which falls quite commonly against those in situations as yours. When you fell, Ms. Y/L/N, your neighbor had informed us of a seizure-”

“Seizure?!” Eddie spat.

“Yes, seizure; fifteen seconds.” He clarified. “And with that, an immediate grade II concussion. We ran a necessary EEG and CT scan prior to your waking, as such classification can offer some findings. Fortunately, all we saw was the inevitable stretching of your neurons which caused a burst of electrical impulses in your brain explaining the seizure. Checking for any fracturing of the skull, or swelling, and bleeding, and you were quite lucky. Completely cleared.” His smile broke through his wrinkled face. “Though, you were brought in with quite the gash on the left side of your head, right between the parietal and occipital bone. Nothing too extreme on the severity scale, but in order to stop the bleeding we did have to repair the tissue damage with stitching.” A vapid explanation of the overly tight gauze that somehow felt like a ton of bricks around your cranium. “But other than that, your vitals are excellent.” Check, check, check off his clipboard. “It’s very likely you’ll continue experiencing a headache, perhaps some nausea, or dizziness. I do recommend an overnight stay to ensure secondary swelling doesn’t occur, and to guarantee your memory continues to function properly. But a morning discharge should be fine.”

A deep breath allowed your head to nod along. “Yeah, um, thank you… really.” You earnestly smiled.

But where you could muster a staid beam of politeness, Eddie Munson gleamed a smile so faux, even Dr. Rosenthal piqued him with a scowl—though miniscule for his professional aptitude. The heavy click of the door closing behind Dr. Rosenthal granted the heaviest breath to escape from Eddie before his attention scrutinized you.

“What the hell were you thinkin’?!” He ambushed. Seriously, he knew you for seven years. Seven years of his fucking life, and not once had you ever dared to lift a finger for manual labor. Okay, call him old fashioned, but that’s exactly what he liked about you; you know, the whole damsel in distress that needed him whenever something fell loose or broken. That’s it, just the need for him. The need to want him around. “I-I mean, seriously, you- why couldn’t you just call me- or, or, like, Steve, or someone, so you wouldn’t get hurt?” Okay, so maybe calling him wouldn’t have been your first option. If the fact of being no contact for five months wasn’t enough, surely living across the country would have ruled him out. You stopped keeping up with his whereabouts weeks ago. But that wouldn’t stop him. It was you, for Christ sake! You wanted your garlands, Eddie would have given you your garlands. No matter the lack of communication. No matter the distance.

Eddie Munson would have given you everything.

You dryly blinked. Twice. If only he felt like that when you both were still together. “Get out.”

“Okay, no- wait, I’m not trying to blame you-”

“Really? Because that’s exactly what you’re doing. Get out!” Your tired voice tried to muster.

“No, sweetheart, c’mon, I-I know- I just worded it wrong, okay? Please, I just- I don’t know why you would try to do something that would get you hurt like that. You could have, I don’t know, asked for help, like called me up, I promise I would have answered to help you-”

Your eyes rolled against his sentiment. “What, so I’m just too dimwitted to use a couple of tools?!”

“Well, you did fall.” By your stare, Eddie Munson had two seconds to live. “N-No, I didn’t say that- I, look, I just wish you would have called or someth-”

“And I wish you would just get out!” But your rash endeavor to sit up and shove him away legitimized the pitiless reality of your gnawing head hazing your vision and dismantling your balance, forcing Eddie to rush to your assistance.

“I- okay, I’ll shut up, just lay back, relax, please, sweetheart. I don’t want you hurting yourself more.”

“I’m fine.” You gritted.

“There’s a chunk of your head missing.” Eddie retaliated with a deadpan so infuriating mocking.

A huff of disbelief rippled from your dry lips. “Dr. Rosenthal just said it was no big deal.”

“Like I care what that old fuck has to say.” Your scolding eyes ripped him a new one. “Okay, geez, didn’t know you two were such close friends.”

With no energy to fight back, you permitted his touch to push you back against stiff pillows, where his ink-engraved hands worked swiftly to cover your frail body from the harsh chills of the hospital air conditioning. “I’ll be quiet, promise.” He whispered, adhering to his words, as he silently watched you close your eyes away from him, now that his presence has garnered a throbbing headache.

By the seventh beep, you no longer found interest in counting the indications of your working monitors. But where your mind lost the simple activity, you also gained attention to the whirring voices of the television. Sat by your side on the hardened chair, Eddie’s tapping toes forced your eyes to tear back-in-forth from his stance to the static colors of live footage coverage.

“Man, all I hope is for a refund!” Drunk out of his mind, as the lights of cameras began emphasizing the drugged redness of the young man’s eyes. “Like, seriously, we’re all here for The Freak, and for him to just run off like that, dude, we paid for a Corroded Coffin show, and we’re gonna get it, or else we want our money back!”

A pan to the well-dressed reporter stocked drastically to the metalheads on scene. “Well, you heard it here first, folks. As we wait for more updates on the events that occurred that left Eddie Munson running off stage to what would have been his biggest performance in his home state, fans are pressuring for a refu-”

“Shouldn’t you be somewhere right now?” Eddie's head pulled itself from his intense stare that followed the grout of the tiled floors.

“Huh?” His gaze followed yours which briefly led to the boxed television that delivered MTV’s insistent need to showcase a replay of Eddie “The Freak” Munson, lead guitarist and singer of Corroded Coffin, running off stage in the midst of their newest single, ‘Goliath’s Wrath.’ “Oh, um,” his hand waved you off, “my team will rip me a new one later, it’s fine.”

You sighed. “And just for the record, I am self aware, so I did have someone there to help me.” You muttered, leaving his brows to furrow. “Trevor?”

“Oh.” Eddie’s lips maneuvered awkwardly. “Trevor, right.” Knee bouncing, fingers tapping, Eddie knew he should have kept his mouth shut, but the question burned his mind for too long not to suddenly blurt out. “So what, are you seeing him or something?” And perhaps he should have kept his mouth shut, given the death glare you killed him with that had him reeling back his words. “I- sorry.”

“Trevor has a girlfriend. And a ladder.” You scoffed. “And you of all people cannot be talking.”

Three weeks post the headlines that announced the separation between rockstar, Eddie Munson, and his longtime girlfriend, new reports were eager to air Hollywood’s newest romance between the amoral and Playboy’s finest, Lindsey Sawyer. To say you cried for weeks was quite the understatement, when your body physically impaired you from leaving the shielding comfort of your bed. While you rotted, Eddie danced on the grave of your love with his new girlfriend, whose six inch stilettos pierced your bludgeoned heart. Granted, it lasted nothing but a couple days, though it didn’t stop from the new pattern of recurrence in which Eddie found Hollywood’s new recycled “it” girl to accompany the image of a rager rockstar. Gisele Camarella, Pam Densely, Yvonne Huntsford; a new name, face, and body to compare yourself to.

“I-” his shame flooded his cheeks crimsen, “those were never real- not, like- not like you, not you and me real. Just what management thought looked best.” Though, his quiet admission did nothing to soothe over painful memories. “I’m sorry.” Three scrapes of wooden legs scratching against white tiles was all it took to have Eddie Munson sitting by your side. “How do you feel?” His eyes fervently raked your face. “Honestly.”

“My head hurts.”

“About seeing me?” He clarified.

Silence crept up in a suffocating manner, as Eddie watched your stoic lines revise his being. “I don’t like seeing your face anymore, Eddie.” How were you able to speak those words so calmly? Eddie’s throat choked him with unbearable bitterness that burned his insides. “You look stupid. You used to never look stupid.”

Eddie Munson had a haunting past of failures; D’s and F’s marked such a bloody red over white papers, tainting any scribble of hard work he, at least, attempted at times. And what followed failed tests and quizzes only came with the taunting laughter of jocks and cheerleaders, jeering their distaste for his “kind” that branded his leather and denim as the epitome of all things they deemed nauseating. For a while, Eddie Munson believed himself to be nothing but stupid. The grades and reputation being all the evidence needed to solidify his self worth to him. Every compliment to your intelligence he gave you knew came with an underlying insecurity within him. Because you were smart, so smart. What was a smart girl like you doing with a stupid guy like him?

So, yeah, your words hurt. As they intended to.

Eddie’s eyes dropped with shame, his Adam’s apple following suit with a thick bobbing gulp of guilt. His eyes casted upon his tight leather jeans that felt insufferable under a building layer of sweat; too much eyeliner, at times clouding his vision from the very fans he loved seeing; sheer shirts waving in a draft of uncomfortableness, forcing him to long for prized t-shirts that gave him the movement to be him on stage; and a god awful personality detailed so preciously by management to make his name a headliner’s favorite.

Yeah, Eddie Munson looked so fucking stupid.

“I-I don’t like ‘em.” He stammered.

“You used to.”

July once brought Los Angeles, California a blistering heat. You hate heat.

Five months ago.

“No, no, no, he’s full of shit, I was the one who came up with ‘Goliath’s Wrath!’” The cigar browning of Gareth Emerson’s scotch dribbled his lips wet with his drunken blubber, as men surrounding—all big money and titles alike—huffed out laughter worth millions to the men that provided them such wealth.

Eddie’s nose burned with the ecstasy of white powder, dusting his beautiful features with the hedonism of all glory and power… for once, right in his hands. “Oh, fuck off, you were passed out drunk laying in your own piss when we wrote that god awful fucking song!” He laughed, joining in on the obnoxious cacophony of guffaws that held no sense of reality.

A shoulder knocked into his. Greased slicked hair, gold rings, and a suit worth your car payment; Iverson Green. And Eddie had no fucking clue what he did. “You really don’t like the upcoming song?” He whispered.

And Eddie would never know. Information as such mattered little, as long as the man helped pay his check. “These braindeads approve of all this rock shit for the image.” Eddie bit back. “If I had it my way, I’d show ‘em real metal.” He smiled.

A blood red stiletto acrylic stabbed at his shoulder before a cloud of Chanel °5 invaded his itching nose. “Got you booked.” She spoke, her breath tickling his ear over the sheer closeness needed over the vibrating base of stereos.

Eddie turned his head to see her, a smiling Judy Carawan that had him beaming right back. “For what this time? I’m not doing some late night news bullshit again.” After the way Larry Parsons of Hollywood’s Friday Nights called out his delinquent behavior, executives were buzzing for another clash between Eddie “The Freak” Munson and talk show hosts to get the papers running.

“Hilfiger.” Judy leaned in, a smirk of confidence for her work truly accomplished. “A fitting, then you wear one of his suits to the VMA’s, and that’s cash in your pockets. And mine.”

Eddie’s face glowered with disgust, as he attempted to move away, her smell becoming too strong for his liking. “Save me a line.” He instructed to the man breaking rows of snow on the mahogany table. “Fuck no, I’m not wearing some posh-y model shit in front of the fucking cameras.”

“It’ll be one time, and a check worth a lifetime.” She rolled her eyes, a habitual stance against the troubles that came with personally assisting Eddie Munson. “Also, see.” Her slender finger pointed to the lengthy body of Cierra Kalahi, perched against the marbling chimney of your Hollywood Hills home. “Miss America’s Next Top Model will be wearing Hilfiger, too. You and some Shalom Harlow wannabe wearing the same designer is just enough to spark some attraction to your name.”

Eddie knew the venomous implications of her suggestion. “I’m not playin’ into your bullshit dating rumors.” A vicious cycle you two had to go through; you hurting more than the other, though.

“Okay, fine, then we get your pretty, little girlfriend to wear a matching dress… that is if she’ll stop being a bummer.”

“Don’t fucking do that, alright?” Eddie huffed, dragging his sweaty hands down the heat of his cheeks. His eyes felt like they were going to crack out of his skull from the dryness of being opened for the past forty-three hours. But the umpteenth swig of Old Fashioned was fueling him alongside the unstoppable fuel of crystalline cocaine. “She just- I- look, I’m not putting her out there where she doesn’t want to go. S-She’s too good- she’s too good for the cameras.”

“She’s not good for your career.” Eddie felt her words echo into a repeated ringtone that irritated his ears. His vision grew blurred with his impulsive movements against her face.

His hot, alcoholic breath fanned her bangs with each huff of his chest. “Remember who pays your fucking bills!” Nothing but the voices of Mötley Crüe tormented the background, as everyone but the music quieted to bask in the events of another Eddie Munson meltdown. “You say one more fucking word about her, and I’ll leave you to the fucking street.”

Judy Carawan cinched her eyes against his lost ones. Whatever bad boy facade he drugged himself into every night never scared her. Hell, she fed into it. “Eddie, I’m going to be quite frank with you, since no one else will be. You and your goody girlfriend will never last. If she truly cared for you like she says she does, she would do anything to keep your name in the spotlight. And if you truly cared for her like you say you do, you wouldn’t be snorting snow on your fucking anniversary.” Eddie's hardened muscles fell from realization. And Judy smiled such a sick smile. “And FYI, I was someone before you.” Eight years of work with Hollywood’s hottest clientele. “Can you say the same?”

Your lip wobbled under the harsh bite of your teeth to suppress the stinging tears from an embarrassing downpour. Despite his promises of a private evening, you braced your arms over your chest, where it became exposed from the strapless dress you uncomfortably endured, after too many magazine headlines criticized your lack of “looks” for the hottest rockstar in town. You’d never admit it, always brushing him off whenever he became concerned for your well being because of the tabloids, but he always noticed the subtle changes you made to look like the women in the city that felt like another plant from olde Indiana.

And now, unwarranted flashes of cameras settled outside the Michelin Star restaurant that burrowed burdening humiliation into your skin, as a cautious peer around the setting allowed you to notice the pitying and gossip of the goers around you.

Every minute that passed, you gave him the benefit of the doubt. But an hour and fifteen minutes just prevailed you to be a doormat. But could you be blamed? Seven years ago today, you ran into the man, himself, who turned the dreaded day of Hawkin’s High open house into a new adventure. Where you had the excuse of an actively involved mother, who became adamant on touring the unknown environment of the orange and green halls after your father’s relocation to the rural town, Eddie had an intransigent uncle who refused to watch his nephew lose another year of his life to failing high school, and imposed the young man to abide by the staff’s fake smiles, as they greeted parents and students for the coming school year.

It’s funny how one sullen face can find another in a crowd of PTA parents and their goody-two-shoe children alike. Meeting eyes and a devilish smirk on his face was all it took for two strangers to find trust in one another, and sneak away in the depths of bushy, green woods. In retrospect, asking Eddie Munson to be your boyfriend after only three hours of knowing him was quite rash—he, himself, was quite taken aback, as well—but the worst that could happen was it didn’t work out. I mean, what high school relationship ever does? But his informative trek across lush grass, a shared cigarette, and talks that had your stomach cramping from fits of giggles was enough to solidify your decision at heart. And who was Eddie Munson to ever say no to a pretty face and soul like yours.

And it worked out… surprisingly.

It was quite the experience learning the ins and outs of someone you already called your boyfriend, but the pureness of it all bloomed into the most innocent love of two people navigating the world and finding themselves together.

But suddenly, the world had a place in your relationship. The people had a say. In what you wore, what you looked like, who you had to be. And he allowed it. Allowed everyone to measle their way in. After the first promise to you that nothing would change, every single one to follow became a lie.

Because he changed.

You mustered the will to sniffle away any tears. He no longer became worth it to you. And it broke your heart. Your heels clicked their way out of the restaurant, where your being was blurred under the paralyzing flashes of people who invaded your life, capturing and exploiting your lowest moment for a check, and branding you the girl that held the greatest rockstar back.

Eddie stumbled back on wobbly feet, his mind too disorientated to care about the bodies he shoved that consequently left glasses of cocktails to shatter against the polished flooring of his home. Though, nothing mattered as long as he got to the door. But your crying self had beat him to it from the other side, swinging the grand doors that were always too heavy for your liking, and entering your home that was invaded by strangers and their substances, and Eddie… your Eddie standing in the middle of it all.

His red, beclouded eyes had disallowed him the privilege of blinking your beauty straight, but through the haze of blear lines, he saw your face so clearly fall from disappointment.

From pure defeat.

“W-Wait!” Eddie fought the incoordination of his legs to follow you outside, leaving his guest to watch in awe. “Baby, I- fuck! I-I’m sorry- ugh, I just- I forgot!”

Los Angeles’ humidity suffocated his airways that were already constricting from his sobbing chokes. His insides burned from the concoction of drugs and sweltering heat that only fueled at the sight of your broken face. “You forgot?!” You cried, swinging your body around to face the man you no longer recognized. “For the past seven years you’ve never forgotten, but now you do! What, is it no longer important for you?!”

Spit blubbered with his words, as his lips moved a mile a minute to keep your love preserved. “N-No, I mean- yes, of course, it’s i-important-”

“Then why weren’t you there?!” Mascara stained the softness of your cheeks, now too darkened for Eddie to ever kiss the pain away. “Why aren’t you ever there?! For me!”

“I-It wasn’t my fault.” He heaved. “J-Jude, she-she said this s-stupid thing was scheduled, and-and she said it’d be quick-”

“Of course, it’s never your fault!” You bit back with the deflation of your arms. “It’s always the alcohol, or the drugs, or Judy, but it can never be your fault, can it, Eddie?!” His fist balled into his eyes, as snot caved down his nose.

“N-No, it is my fault! I’m sorry, Y/N- I’ll fix it! I’ll do anything, I’ll make it up to you, I swear!”

“Don’t you get it?!” You marched up to his wrecked body. “Your promises mean nothing to me anymore!”

“Don’t, please!” Eddie sobbed. Shameful embarrassment ate him alive in the middle of your Hollywood Hills driveway. “I-I’ll stop all this, th-the drugs,” his arm smeared away the remnants of snot and cocaine against his nose, “the drinking, partying, everything, I mean it!” Because something deep within Eddie Munson knew this was the last straw.

You were done.

“Stop lying to me!” Your eyes stung with tears. “Why are you so comfortable lying to me, and h-hurting me?!” His head adamantly refused your words with a harsh shake to his head, but the history of abandonment that brought you to your wits end weighed more than his inebriated actions. “You touch me and it feels like a lie. You k-kiss me and it feels like a lie. E-Everything you do has become bullshit, Eddie! I don’t trust you. I-I just worry. Worried that anytime you’re not next to me you’ve drugged yourself dead, or-or knocked out somewhere, or… with women-”

“Don’t fucking say that! I’d never do something like that to you!”

“The Eddie I knew would never leave me to snort coke with strangers, but here we are!” You bawled in retaliation, forcing his mouth quiet in disbelief. “You’re not Eddie anymore! So, don’t stand here and tell me you wouldn’t do these things, when everything you do leads me to believe you are capable of doing something like that… something to hurt me! Because you do, Eddie! You hurt me.”

“I’m so fucking sorry! Please, Y/N, baby, I fucking love you, everything’s just been too much, a-and I forget things, I’ll be better!” You scoffed at his utter patheticism that grossed you out, turning your heel, but his large hand caught a tightening grip to your wrist. “No, I’m serious, sweetheart, I’ll change! I-I’m still Eddie!”

“Get off.” You quietly pleaded, exhausted from the sobs that wrecked your body.

“Y-You can’t leave me, Y/N, no, I-I need you.” He choked. “I love you. So much. With everything in me. Please. We don’t do this to each other!”

“Then why do you keep doing this to me?!”

“Darling, Ms. Y/L/N?” Yours and Eddie’s head parted to the soft voice of Debby Weiser. Nearly a year ago, your elderly neighbor—who came into stardom in the 50s for her acts that revolutionized the spreading use of colored television—welcomed you into the gated neighborhood with a gluten-free muffin basket that had tasted like pure shit. But the kindness of her effort garnered a budding friendship with the mature woman who offered her wisdom on enduring Hollywood’s notoriety. “You alright there, sweetie?” Her southern accent never had assimilated to the Valley.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” You turned to his eyes, staring down the saddened roundness that no longer held the precious life they once used to. “I was just leaving.”

That night, you left to your shared Indianapolis townhouse that became your starter home when Eddie’s career was first taking off. You were so happy then.

And he hadn’t seen you since.

Until now.

Eddie Munson had fallen quiet.

Everything had, in fact.

The constant beeping of your medical instruments drove him to madness, but he figured the insanity was substantial punishment for the hurt he caused you. He’d been suffering for five months already, what’s a couple more minutes? If anything, he’d be suffering for the rest of his life should it continue without you.

But it didn’t have to.

Eddie knew he had no right to gain your love once more, and the vulnerability of your state worsened the situation tenfold, but there was a reason Eddie received that call. A reason why his heart sank amidst a phone call that identified your beautiful name in an emergency, that left him dropping everything in front of thousands that cheered his name. Whatever cynicism that tainted his heart had long left upon your sweet arrival; a ‘thank you’ filled with such gratitude towards his uncle, when Eddie busted into the trailer with a smile too large to be because of Hawkins High’s yearly open house. Wayne Munson had never asked, mostly due to the fact that his nephew locked himself in his bedroom, where the nineteen-year-old worked endlessly for his new upcoming Dungeons and Dragons campaign that followed the grounds of fate and destiny.

In the mere three hours of your presence, you gave Eddie Munson hope.

He’d be damned not to devote his eternal life to you.

“Y/N, I…” his eyes laid low, examining the threads of linen that covered you, as his fingers twiddled with his rings to appease the constant bounce of his anxious knee. “I need you to know how terribly sorry I am for everything I did. All the times I hurt you.” He sighed, as his teeth sunk into his bottom lip. “I- uh, I just really need you to understand that everything that happened to us was not your fault. At all. You-” his breath shook with a tremble, “You really were so fucking perfect during everything. So patience, so communicative, and I-I never listened to you the way you deserved, I just- I don’t know, I thought maybe-maybe if I gave it my all to this career, I could finally give you everything you deserve.”

His eyes attempted to blink away searing tears, but his emotions were getting the better of him. “A-And I know how fucking selfish that is, I had- fuck, I had no right to assume what you wanted from me, and-and put you in a position where you had to go through all my bullshit, all because I thought that in the end it would make you happy… without even speaking to you about it.” Eddie's voice cracked with a harsh sniffle to gather his strength.

“I-I’m getting clean, um, it’s been really fucking hard, but I-I got the boys s-setting me straight everyday. Especially after I practically tortured them with my cries after you left.” His pity laughter softly broke through. “B-But yeah, sweetheart, I-I’m doing pretty good for myself- well, tryin’ to, at least. Still kinda always, constantly, forever feel like shit,” Eddie chuckled, “but I’m managing. T-The drugs n’ everything flushed n’ all, n-now just trying to hold off the booze, y’know? But fuckin’ hell does a beer get me through it.”

A smile began etching upon his face, where the history of all the laughter you provided him with creased his face with the lines of joy that only truly showcased in your presence. “Talked to our manager, he sure as hell was pissed when I insisted on getting rid of Jude. And she sure as hell went out with a bang, and smeared by name to the tabloids, but, uh, you probably already read about that- or not, I don’t, like, expect you to keep up with me or anything, honestly I kinda hope you didn’t, because, well, those first couple of weeks after everything real-really, uh… brought the worst out.” A deep breath escaped his mouth, as his fingers dug into the temples of his head to alleviate the dull pain.

“I-I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m really… trying.” Eddie swallowed thickly. “F-For my fans, the boys, myself, a-and you, Y/N. And I c-can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am for taking, y’know, taking this long t-to get better, and for not trying better before, for having to h-hurt you just to learn, I’m so fucking sorry, Y/N. A-And I’m not askin’ for a second chance- well, I know I don’t deserve one, not now or-or ever if you feel like it, I just need you to know I’m Eddie, somewhere inside- I’m working really hard on just being me- oh, but, of course, I do want to be with you. T-That wasn’t me saying I didn’t. I do, I-I always wanna be with you, I just- I, okay, I’ll shut up now.”

The deliberation was excruciating.

The process of his words that rambled on for an eternity was too much to process, especially with a head injury, and he understood that to the fullest, but the quietness was becoming deafening, as he waited for your words… your rejection… your reciprocation.

Anything.

And he couldn’t dare look you in the eyes, the ones that pierced his soul so deeply, and he desperately urged you to say something. Anything!

“Y/N?” Beep. Beep. Beep. “Sweetheart…?” His eyes fluttered forward. “Jesus H. Christ, Y/N!” Your peaceful sleep had garnered a frightful reaction from Eddie, as he jumped to his feet to urgently caress your face awake. Of course, when doing so, your eyes tiredly awoke to his face all too close for your liking, and a frown broke your face, as you attempted to move from him.

“Christ, Eddie.” You debilitatingly rasped. “What are you doing?”

“Me?! What are you doing? Are you okay? You shouldn’t be going to sleep, you have a concussion! I-Isn’t that, like, something you shouldn’t do?!” He cupped your face straight to the blinding ceiling light, that had you mewling with annoyance.

“Eddie, I can remember Reagan’s speech, and the fall of the Berlin Wall.” You dragged, prying his concerned hands off your face. “I think I’ll be just fine going to sleep. God, did you just expect me to stay up all night?”

A shuddering breath left his strangling throat, as his hands flexed at the electricity of the touch of your skin. His body tensed, as his round eyes worriedly followed the contours of features. “You didn’t- did you hear me, like, anything that I just said? B-Before you- I woke you up?”

Your brows concave with a furrow of confusion, as you peered up at him through wispy lashes. “What’d you say?”

A deep sigh left his dry lips, as he flashed you a small smile filled with sincerity. “Don’t worry about it, okay? It was nothing.” His hands gently worked to cover your body further with blankets to keep you warm, as your suspicious stare hesitantly nodded in acceptance to his words. “Y-You hungry, or-or need more blankets? Painkillers, anything?”

You delicately rejected his help with a shake of your head. “Just tired.” You softly answered. “And you should probably leave, too. Get some sleep.”

Despite his mind refusing your proposal, he knew your rest was vital for recovery, and he watched you slowly turn your back to him, as his slow steps marked his way to the door. So lonely, he gazed at your tired body curl up into itself like it once did when his presence was actually yearned by you; all safety once found in his embrace, as he promised to never let go. And though he never did, his actions forced you to let go, as he now had to bear witness to seeing you become content with yourself. Something he could never imagine doing so.

His finger flipped the switch. You never were a fan of the overhead lights. And once so, a peaceful sigh buried its way from your parted lips, as your mind rested in tranquil darkness.

Eddie’s hand wrapped around the doorknob that allowed the hallway light to bleed in. But his eyes couldn’t dare leave you once more. Five months of deprivation killed him every passing day, and one glimpse of your beaten self made him feel like an addict breaking their withdrawal. There was once a time in which he was beckoned with the devastating occurrence of you leaving him no choice but to watch you walk away. Now, he had an opportunity. A chance. To walk away. Or stay. Leaving you alone, hurting, in a cold, empty hospital room was too heartbreaking of an option to ever endure, and he was vowing to his words of never hurting you again.

He gently closed the door with no intent to deceive you, but rather care for you. Right now, what you didn’t know wouldn’t hurt you. And his mind felt at peace knowing he could watch over you; his heart dissipating to the rhythm of calmness only you could bring him to. His quiet steps guided him back to the stiff chair that numbed his bottom and stabbed at his back. But it all became worth it, finally seeing you at peace, after the last weeks he ever got to see you your face had been permanently etched in distress, because of him.

Despite being awake for nearly twenty-two hours now, Eddie Munson spared a couple more just to look at you.

The morning to follow, Dr. Rosenthal had commented greatly on the normalcy of your brain. And Eddie felt envious. You could take thirty more blows to the head, and your brain would still function far better than his ever could. You, unfortunately, had no chance to question his lingering presence, since your body had been awakened by the prodding of a nurse who kindly checked if your vitals were up to par. You figured you’d save her the awkwardness of interrogating your ex-boyfriend, the rockstar.

“If necessary, just some acetaminophen of your choice once every four to six hours depending on the instructions. But if your pain seems to not be improving, I’ll surely write you a prescription for a triptan, whichever one we can work out best for you.” You nodded along, subtly watching Eddie in the corner of your eye, who was listening too intently for someone who was bound to leave in a couple minutes. “And for your stitches, twice a day, remove the old coverage, clean off, and apply a new gauze. After a while, you should be okay with doing it once, and by the two, two and half week mark, I’ll have a referral to remove them when the time comes.” You sighed, taking a minute to let your head process the instructions of the older gentleman before you. “Alrighty, any questions?”

“No, really, you’ve been so helpful with everything-”

“She can’t drive, right?” Eddie butted in.

Dr. Rosenthal took a long second to peer at him, before clearing his throat. “Wouldn’t recommend it under your symptoms. Nausea and dizziness can impair your ability, so we can call someone, arrange transp-”

“I already got that covered.” Eddie spat a smirk back in retaliation.

“As long as it’s okay with you.” Dr. Rosenthal sympathetically smiled at you.

You drew out a defeated sigh, and watched Eddie react like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Fine.” You begrudged.

“Alright then, you go ahead and take the time needed to gather your things, and you can check out at the front desk.” Your trusted doctor assured you. “Call me if you have any questions or concerns, and I’ll gladly help. You have a Merry Christmas, Ms. Y/L/N.” Eddie was spared from a polite holiday goodbye.

You gently smiled. “Thank you, have a Merry Christmas, as well.”

With a click of the door behind him, Eddie was quick to let out a breath of relief, as though Dr. Rosenthal lifted a burden off his shoulders. His hasty movements brought your bag of clothes from beneath your hospital bed to plop against your legs. “These yours?” He pried the drawstrings open.

“No, they’re the lady’s who gave birth before this became my room.” Eddie deadpanned, continuing to rummage through your belongings.

He snorted. “Psh, no pregnant lady would wear an Anthrax tee.” Something that very much still belonged to him, as he threw your t-shirt to your chest.

“Did you stay here after I told you not to?” Your eyes glared in a deadly squint that challenged his snarkiness.

“N-No.” A big, fat lie. His gaze was avoidant of yours, as his hands worked hurriedly to empty the bag of your pants… a brown flannel… your right Reebok… then the left, of course… an earring that stabbed him… the other that didn’t, because he learned his lesson… and some pretty, pretty pink panti-

“Stop looking at those!” You snatched the lacy material from his hands, as he threw his arms up in defense. “And if you didn’t stay, why are you still wearing the same clothes?” You prodded further.

“Oh, my god, I didn’t stay.” He huffed. And you hated the portion of your heart that allowed his words to hurt you, because how come he didn’t stay? “Just headed back to the hotel, took a nap, and came back here early.”

You allowed your hurt to bite back. “That’s gross, you smell.” But he’ll permit your chastising insults if it meant you wouldn’t be angry at him for going against your wishes.

“Can you just hurry up and change, so I can take you home.” He rolled his eyes. “I arranged a car to have us picked up, and take you home.”

“I hope you know how pretentious that sounds.” And Eddie Munson stared and stared, as you balled your clothes into the sanctity of your lap. “Well, don’t look, turn around.”

Eddie’s mouth gaped, laughing in disbelief. “Please, sweetheart, I’ve been staring at you naked for the past seven years of my life.”

“You know what? Just for that, you can go to the bathroom and wait, until I say so.” You smiled, so pleased to watch Eddie scoff incredulously.

Eddie turned on his heels with an exhale of exasperation to match, as he strutted his way into the tiny bathroom. “Can just close my eyes, and picture you naked.” Luckily with his back turned, he wouldn’t dare notice the small smile that cracked your face.

Eddie’s mind had been buzzing with thoughts for the entire forty-five minutes it took for the chauffeur to pull up and parallel park in front of your townhouse. Like clockwork, your brow arched upon seeing the movements that followed yours: Eddie clicking his seatbelt. “Look, don’t give me that look, I already know what you’re about to say, but please, just let me come in, and help you.” You huffed, letting your eyes bounce from the window to his face that was hardened with determination. “C’mon, let me make it up to you this one time.”

Another defeated ‘fine’ was murmured under your breath, as Eddie made the quick trip to help you out of the car. “Just head back, man, I’ll call you when I need to.” Numerous bills were discreetly slid into the hands of the driver, before he took his cue to leave the neighborhood.

“Hey, Y/N!” The blizzarding winter left the precisely planted trees along the sidewalk to lose their green shrubbery; your one shield from the sun that still blazed its light down the Demember wind. But through the glares, you matched that voice to the friendly neighbor who lent you his ladder… and subsequently took you to the hospital once you fell off.

“Oh, hi, Trevor!” You waved to him from atop of his stairs, as you caught sight of the reusable bags of groceries in his hand.

“Hm, Trevor.” Eddie hummed quietly beside you.

Despite the cold, he took the needed steps down to speak to you at a volume that didn’t require yelling. “Hey, I’m sorry for leaving you at the hospital so suddenly, Andreas’ car broke down when she tried to leave from work, and I had to go help her-”

“Oh, please, don’t worry about it, it’s okay!” You reassured him from any guilt. “Seriously, I was out for most of my time there, and you already helped so much with bringing me there.”

“Yeah, and I was going to head back to check on you, but they told me your partner-”

“Yeah, me! Y’know…” Eddie interjected with a wave, as you suppressed the roll from your eye, watching him proudly identify himself as such with an eager point of his finger.

“Yeah, hey, Eddie, been a long time since I’ve seen ya, man-”

“Oh, Y/N! Trevor told me all about you!” Andreas' voice echoed from the front door, as her robe clung closely to her body in an effort to house any warmth she could. “How are you feeling? Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, nothing to worry about, just a couple stitches and a concussion.” As polite as they were, your flannel was only doing so much to shield you from the cold, which was already in hand causing that throb to return from the sharp blinding of the sun. Why wouldn’t they shut up?

Eddie watched the twitch of your eye succumb to your expression. If anything from the last seven years taught him anything, it was that you were two sentences away from a fully engraved scowl chiseling your face; always so unaware of how blatant your emotions showcased. “Speaking of which, I should probably go get her to lay down, and rest!” Eddie smiled, as he took your hand up the stairs to your front door.

“Of course, no problem.” Trevor kindly smiled. “And, hey, keep my ladder as long as you need, don’t worry about it.”

An exchange of ‘thank you’s’ finally allowed your neighbor to leave you be, as the key slid into the lock of your door. “That was Andrea, his girlfriend. Are you gonna be jealous if I speak to her, too?”

His laughter warmed the chilled air that smoked his breath. “Fuck off, sweetheart.”

Your house had been all but welcoming upon the first steps. A puddle of blood had stained your wooden floor with the injuries of your head, as fallen garlands messily draped down your walls from your lack of skills with a hammer and nail. You’d never admit to him in a lifetime, but Eddie Munson was surely right that you, personally, were too dimwitted to use tools with no guidance. Turns out a leveler and stud sensor were actually quite useful in keeping your house from being hammered with the countless holes that now decorated your walls. You watched Eddie take in the amateur scenery, his will working overtime to stifle the chuckle that quivered his lips thin. “You make any comments, and I’ll kick you out.”

His hands flew up in defense. “I wasn’t going to say anything- although, how gnarly would a photo of your blood be as our next album cover?”

Giggles of shock coming from you rang in his ear like a catchy melody. “Listen, you came here to help, so please do. I want to shower, and sleep-”

“And eat. That hospital food was shit.” He prioritized. “Go shower, I’ll make you some breakfast,” his watch proved otherwise, “or lunch, I guess, and you can eat before you sleep- oh! And take your medicine, as well. I’ll switch out your bandages when you’re done showering. Don’t worry about anything here, okay? Just relax for me.”

And you did just so, following the words of his advice brought you to the warmth of your shower, where your limbs fell slack from destressing. You worked around the stitching of your head that stung under hot water, as you maneuvered your hair through the rainfall of the showerhead. But too much steam was beginning to blur your vision, and your shower was cut unfortunately short after you swiftly rid your body of any lingering antiseptic smell that clung to you.

“Ow, Eddie!” Your hand squeezed his, as your forehead became cushioned by the tone of his torso, where he stood before you.

As you sat on the toilet, he looked down, and caressed your head gently. “Sorry, sweetheart, just gotta get it clean, ‘s all.” A new square of gauze concealed your wound, before a long strip of bandage secured itself around your forehead. Your head lifted from the comfort of his belly, and he bent at the waist to examine your face. A smile grew so naturally. “There… beautiful as always.” There was no denying the lunge in your heart that soared at his words, but your stubbornness withheld the swoon that would have usually followed with a new inure look to your face. Eddie guffawed at your pertinaciousness. “Fine, I hope you know you have a bald spot on the back of your head.”

And he devilishly smiled at your sudden movements to feel around your hair. “It’s only because of the stitches.” You gruffed in protest. “Plus, what the back of my head looks like is none of my business.”

“Still, you’re balding before me.”

And you wanted so desperately to wipe that smirk off his face. “Push back your bangs right now.”

Touche. “You should really eat your food before I spit in it.”

You had the liberty of delving into Eddie Munson’s personally made lukewarm tomato soup, and a sandwich so untimely perfect, the burnt bread did little to match the cheese that surely did not melt. And yet, it did everything to fill that little hole in your heart, as one bite brought you back to the cozy trailer, where endless nights were spent concocting meals from ingredients that scientifically went together, but for some reason refused to work when Eddie touched them.

He left you alone in the comfort of your bedroom that was once shared with him, as you quietly endured enjoyed your meal, and sat with the events that came about. Seeing Eddie had tumultuously screwed with your already bruised head, and set you back a mile on the path to peace. Where you blamed yourself over the rise of bubbling feelings, you also gave yourself the grace of remembering this man had been the love of your life for seven years. Facing him would be anything but peaceful, and yet, his stupid, round face managed to conjure that settling tranquility of deep contentment within your heart that only ever built under his hands of love and care. But he also managed to tear it, and that was something beyond the repairs of five months apart. No matter how brutal. Your pillow still stained with the tears of endless cries over the insecurities of no longer being good enough for him. But if you sniffed deep enough, his burrowed cologne would fume into your nose at night that allowed you to gain a safe sleep during the dark hours.

How polarizing he could be was beyond the study of any scientist.

Between the last slurp of your soup, your eyes succumbed to the heaviness of your eyelids, as what was intended to be a half an hour nap prolonged into a five hour doze, until the sun decided to rest for the evening, bleeding its red into a darkening sky. As advised by your doctor, a couple pills were to be popped to alleviate that ache that would haunt you for days to come, so with a march to the kitchen ahead, you called for the man you needed most. “Eddie!” Drowned by your tiredness, your voice did little to amplify his name from the second floor. “Eddie!” But a second call of his name proved to be useless when nothing followed in return.

Dr. Rosenthal surely hadn’t been lying about the aftermath of dizziness, as the simple event of walking down your staircase had turned into an olympic sport that nearly caused another blow to your head if it hadn’t been for the obscene tightness of your grip on the railing that descended. “Eddie, seriously! I’ve been calling you, can’t you hear?!”

The quietness of your home answered back, as you approached the bottom steps of the stairs, where suddenly soft lights straightened the blurred lines of your eyes to the clarity of a beautiful glow. Warm lanterns and sticks of candles kindled your chimney and center table, where red bows of various sizes decorated themselves along your living room to match the ribbon of your Christmas tree that had not been put up prior to your waking. Sweet scents of cinnamon and pines worked magically to calm the agitated nerves of your head, and your eyes dragged in awe to the breathtaking display of green garlands that dressed your home to the Christmas perfection you always dreamed of.

Your eyes watered, and though you knew he wouldn’t answer, you still quietly spoke. “Eddie?”

So simple, yet so fulfilling, your heart soared at the work of his hands that ached for your happiness. While it did not amount to the pain he once dragged you through, a meaningful smile that hadn’t been flashed in months finally etched its place onto your face where it perfectly belonged.

And much to your dismay, but simultaneously your biggest hope… it was because of him.

While it broke your spirit for his efforts to take so long to return, you smiled through your hurting cries, as you finally gained the wish for your Eddie—once lost, now running through the wooded path to be found—to return. And with it, a note to keep your heart content with the soundness of peace. Whether it be with Eddie. Whether it not be with Eddie.

At the very least, you got your Christmas spirit.

Management wants to bitch me out, I’m sorry I had to leave you :( but I’m gonna convince ‘em to let me stay in Indy for a while. Kinda hard to say no to a face like mine, you know? You know. Call me to make sure you’re okay, sweetheart, or I’ll break into your house! - Love, Eddie

P.S, gave Trevor his ladder back, so don’t speak to him :)

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x fem!reader

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hischierswhore · 10 months

Text

mr perfectly fine

part 2 of this fic

pairing: Lando Norris x Reader

"Rise & shine, sleepy head” Kika said as you slowly opened our eyes, only to be met with the blinding lights from outside. After grabbing the pillow and burying your face in it to conceal you from the harsh lights, you noticed the room got darker, meaning Kika had closed the curtains.

“How did you even get in?” You rubbed your eyes.

“Spare key”

“30 more minutes? Please?” You begged your friend to give you a bit of extra time.

“If I give you 30 minutes, you’ll ask me for another 45 after so no. Get up” She pulled the sheets from you and dragged you out of bed.

“Why am I going to this thing anyways?”

“Because I have an extra ticket for this event, and you promised me that you would come”

“Just take Pierre or something” You said, still half asleep

“He’s already going with the rest of the grid. Obligations” Her words immediately snapped you awake.

“The rest of the grid?” Kika nodded.

“You might not even see Lan- sorry. He who shall not be named. You’ll be with me the entire night” She gently rubbed your arm in attempt to reassure you that all would be fine.

Kika was the first person you told about the breakup. You ghosted everyone for a few days after Lando had left you, ignoring all calls and messages from the outside world. Kika, your best friend, was beyond concerned with your sudden disappearance and decided to pay you a visit. Using her spare key, that she also seemed to use for non-emergency reasons, she walked right into your home and found you sitting on the couch with the bags under your eyes heavier than ever before.

"What if he tries to talk to me?" You threw yourself on your bed dramatically, watching as Kika browsed through your wardrobe. Following the breakup, you had stalked Lando's social media and he didn’t seem to be fazed by the breakup, and if he had, he didn't show it.

He returned to his life of traveling and nonstop adventures with his fellow drivers. Attending all sorts of parties and festivals, which he was free to do, but what wasn’t right to you was how he didn’t seem hurt in the slightest.

It’d been a month since that night. You still remember the stove illuminating the “1:58am” across your living room as you watched Lando leave.

“What about this one?” Kika pulled out a sparkling red dress and showed it to you.

“I don’t know-“

"Think of this as revenge. You can show him what he's missing. And if you do run in to him, so what? You know I won’t hesitate to give him a good ole’ karate chop in the head" She karate chopped the air, and you burst out in laughter at her movement.

If you wanted revenge, like Kika suggested, you needed to show up looking my best and not let your emotions take over.

After you & Kika had finished getting ready, you called an Uber to take you from your flat over to the event you were attending.

You both entered the banquet hall with all eyes on you. Or maybe their attention was on Kika and her stunning (per usual) dress. Either way, you rarely ever got attention like this, and to say it scared you was an understatement.

You both approached the trio of Pierre, Carlos and Charles, joining in on their conversation.

“We missed having you around, Y/n” Charles said as he rubbed the back of his neck. The group hadn’t seen you in a while due to your breakup with their friend.

“I missed seeing you guys” You said as a figure joined the group. You head turned to greet the person but you immediately jumped back, shocked at the sight: It was Lando, with some new blonde by his side.

Your plans of getting revenge went flying out the window, and right now you wanted nothing more than to crawl into your bed and never leave. The group was just as shocked as you were, glancing between Lando and the blonde.

You leaned into Carlos’ ear and excused yourself, to which he nodded and promised to relay the message to the rest of the group.

As you bolted to the nearest bathroom, you wanted to burst into tears. You locked yourself in the stall and tried your hardest not to cry, instead trying to think happy thoughts.

Back at the group, Kika noticed the moment you left and turned to Lando. The blonde had also excused herself to go speak to some of her friends.

“You’ve got some fucking nerve, Norris” She sounded completely disgusted with Lando.

“What did I do?” Lando asked as he looked around, watching as Charles smacked a hand onto his face in disappointment.

“What didn’t you do, Lando? You broke up with Y/n only a week after your podium in Silverstone because you “had to” for the sake of your relationship? In what fucking world does that make sense?” Kika said before Carlos spoke up

“You claimed to love her, but then you show up here, only a month after you left her, with a new girl on your arm? Guess you really did love Y/n enough to replace her like nothing”

“And then you acted like you did nothing wrong. You didn’t show the slightest bit of remorse for leaving her, with that shit excuse by the way” Charles added.

“Have you even apologized at all?” Pierre asked, watching Lando’s gaze fall down to his feet.

“No” He mumbled.

“You really think he would apologize? He left her hopes high, insinuating that he would come back for her, when in reality it was just an excuse to find someone new” Kika was nearly shouting at this point, and Pierre signaled for her to go find you to ensure you were okay.

- later on -

You were sat at your table with Pierre, Kika, Charles and Carlos. You were all talking when you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned your head to see who was trying to get your attention and it was none other than Lando himself.

“Can I help you?” You asked as you turned your attention back to the rest of the table, not wanting to speak to him right now, or at all for that matter.

“Can we talk? Alone?” You sigh as you nod your head, unsure as to why you’re even agreeing to this. You excuse yourself from the table and all eyes are on you as you walk away with Lando right behind you.

You turn to face him once you’re out of sight from everyone at the event.

“What did you want?” You folded your arms across your chest. Lando inhaled deeply and he seemed nervous.

“I want to apologize. For everything. I wanted to focus on racing and winning and I just couldn’t see myself doing that with you in my life”

“So… you lied to me and made it seem like you were doing this for me? You made it seem like you were going to come back for me, Lando. But really you just wanted to leave and never return”

“I shouldn’t have made it seem like that. I’m so sorry” You stayed silent, contemplating what to say next.

“Who’s the blonde?” You questioned, watching the lump in Lando’s throat.

“Oh she’s uhm… my date” He refused to make eye contact with you as you scoffed at his answer.

“Interesting how you said you loved me and that you always would, yet you replaced me like nothing happened at all and moved on after a month. Somehow you’re “Mr Perfectly Fine” after all this, so clearly you didn’t love me half as much as you said you did ” Lando could only mutter apologies yet still refused to make any sort of eye contact with you.

“Well this was lovely, but I’m going to go back to my table” You said nothing else as you made your way back to the table, shoulder checking him as you passed. You walked back into the dining hall to see everyone quickly turning their heads back around to seem as if they weren’t waiting for you to come back.

As you sat down, you felt a weight lifted from your shoulders; you were finally free and you would be alright someday.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

taglist

@chelseagirl98 @firehazardxx @judesgfirl @celestialams @xjval

#✎ natalie writes #lando norris #lando norris angst #lando norris x you #lando norris x reader #lando norris x y/n #lando norris fanfic #lando norris imagine

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forgedsplendor · 10 months

Text

Gojo Satoru: or, how the eyes are the windows into the soul.

everyone and their mothers have talked about the kfc breakup scene to hell and back, we've gotten a dozen and more think pieces about the episode on twitter and tumblr and wherever else, but I really needed to add my two cents because it's been on my mind ever since I watched the episode.

something fun I've noticed about mappa's adaption of jjk is the way they animate gojo's technique—specifically in relation to his eyes.

in season one, gojo's eyes were always animated very... otherworldly.

they're always glowing and sparkling in this weird, uncanny way, which is kind of the point: gojo is the six eyes, after all, and considering the anime's animated and colored medium compared to the original manga's black and white, paneled format, it's a good way to adapt and demonstrate gojo's powers in the way the manga cannot. it also serves to visually separate gojo from the rest of the characters; as the strongest, he is different from the rest.

however, when season two's teasers were first released, there's a particularly interesting detail...

... his actually normal looking eyes.

and, yeah! that makes sense. as much as gojo and geto's high school selves love to tout around the title of "the strongest", it's undeniable that compared to his twenty-eight year old self, this gojo is much weaker, incapable of holding up his technique indefinitely, and incapable of using red, hollow purple, his domain expansion, and reverse curse technique: all of which his adult self are using passively.

so, i had personally figured that these were the eyes of an unawakened gojo. that once he mastered reverse curse technique, his eyes would start to glow like his adult self. however... that was not the case! as we can see...

... they still glow! but only when he was using his technique. once he puts it down...

... the glowing fades as well.

especially in these last few screenshots, mappa establishes the difference between "invulnerable" ( untouchable, literally, with his infinity technique up ) gojo and "vulnerable" ( infinity down, so things can now touch him ) gojo, both literally and mentally. ( let's put a pin in that. ) after geto's reassurance gojo physically lets down his defences of his technique, and thinks that that they're safe... leading to toji taking advantage of that naïveté, and the rest is history.

it's important to note both, as it puts his adult self into a new context: we know that after coming back from the dead, gojo's mastery of reverse curse technique allows him to use his infinity indefinitely without frying his brain.

it's funny, because this parallels his way of coping, as we see here:

curse technique reversal: red. the opposite to blue's attract, it instead repels.

after going through the traumatic events of hidden inventory, gojo... feels nothing. he pushes away these feelings, numbing himself to them instead.

he activates his infinity...

... and becomes untouchable. or, in other words...

... invulnerable. ( physically and emotionally. )

at the beginning of episode five, we don't get very many close shots of gojo's eyes, but he is in the middle of demonstrating his new grasp of infinity; in contrast to geto's spiral, the main focus of the episode and premature death as a whole, we get shots of gojo's back, his gaze obstructed by his spectacles, his face obscured entirely...

... or simply just far away.

to be fair, this all is in geto's point of view, and is used specifically to higlight the canyon that's opened up between the two, but the visual language is the same. gojo is untouchable.

well. up until...

though it's hard to see the state of his eyes with his spectacles in the way. but this is very quickly remedied just a few minutes later.

... his eyes are not glowing.

infinity is not activiated. his technique is down. gojo satoru is vulnerable. literally, in the sense that his technique is not in use, because he is dealing with a friend and not an enemy user, and mentally, because he is angry and upset and horrified and in shock in a way he was not with amanai's death.

as we know, gojo is not one to react emotionally. when kuroi was kidnapped, he did not worry: simply thought of another solution. when toji ambushed them, he did not panic: simply asked geto to complete the mission as he stayed behind to fight him off.

however, with geto's defection...

he yells, makes himself bleed.

when amanai died, he'd said he felt nothing. he'd floated in the air, weightless, marveling at the beauty of the world above and around him.

with geto's defection...

while nakamura's voice acting and the incredible animated character acting was more than enough to get his anguish across, using the tells of gojo's technique as well was the icing on the cake.

the eyes are the windows to the soul, after all, and in this moment, intentionally or not, his were blown wide open as his world crumpled apart.

#jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #gojou satoru #satoru gojo #satoru gojou #meta #satosugu #stsg #erm. first time im doing this. LOL #jjk meta #jjk #arte rambles

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rafesapologist · 4 months

Text

the set up — rafe cameron; part twenty

summary: you've been one of the pogues since childhood, and your loyalty has always lied within your friend group, who is practically your family. when a threat by the name of rafe cameron begins to threaten the pogue's plans, they assign you to gain the trust of the dubious kook and keep an eye on what he's up to. however, now it's been six months since your friends set you up to spy on the kook prince himself, but what you didn't anticipate was to fall head over heels for the boy. your relationship had soon become inviolable shortly after your guys' first exchanges, much to your friends' dismay, and you two became practically inseperable. that was, until rafe discovers the truth.

warnings: a lot of angst, mentions of mental health issues, time jump

author's note: good luck

It's been six months since you last saw Rafe Cameron.

The last conversation you both had was anything but pleasant, the words still stinging in your mind. The truth spilled out of you like a dam breaking, revealing the set-up against him that you and your friends had concocted. He pleaded for you to stay, his heart shattered into tiny pieces, and against your better judgement, you spent the night with him.

But as the sun rose and reality sank in, you knew it was best for you to leave before he woke up. You made a promise to give him space, hoping that he would come around on his own. But as days turned into weeks and then months, you never heard from him again.

Unable to face him at the golf course where he frequently visited, you quit your job there and found a new one at the Beach Club alongside JJ. The long hours and minimum wage were far from ideal, but it was enough to sustain you and JJ as you waited for your friends to return from hiding. In those moments, JJ became your lifeline - the only person who could make this unbearable situation even slightly bearable.

Each day seemed to drag on forever as you waited for that phone call from Rafe, hoping against all hope that he would forgive you and start fresh. But it never came. Slowly, a deep depression began to consume you as every day without him felt like a lifetime of agony. When you weren't working at the club, you locked yourself away in your room, trying to shut out the world and its painful reminders. Life lost its meaning as each day passed without any contact with Rafe. It felt like an endless cycle of loneliness and despair, an endless punishment for your foolish mistake.

"Hey there, how's it going, kid?" JJ inquires, coming up from behind with a pair of glass cups in each hand, interrupting your usual daydreaming routine. You straighten up your posture and forge a smile his way, watching as he scurried around the kitchen.

"Doing alright," you reply with a semi-flat tone, still somewhat detached from reality. "Is it a large gathering or something?" You motion towards the numerous cups he tossed into the sink, remnants of beer and liquor leaving their mark at the bottom.

"It was a damn party with sixteen people," he huffs, blowing loose strands of his blond hair out of his face. "Kids, parents, the whole shebang. It was a complete disaster."

You chuckle at his remark, shaking your head. "You'll have that, I guess."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just didn't get much sleep last night, that's all." You keep your statement brief, hoping to sidestep any further scrutiny from JJ, who has a knack for probing. You're aware that his concern stems from witnessing your gradual downturn since the breakup with Rafe. Every agonizing night, he'd pass by your room in the hallway, hearing the stifled sobs, mistakenly thinking you were keeping it quiet.

The sound of clanging dishes fills the air as Sofia, your coworker, enters the kitchen. She balances a stack of dirty plates in her arms and greets you and JJ with a wide smile. Her eyes sparkle mischievously as she poses her question, "Hey guys, am I missing out on some gossip in here?"

You shake your head, amused by JJ's usual grumblings about customers, "Not much besides JJ venting."

Sofia playfully rolls her eyes and lets out a giggle at JJ's never-ending frustration with their clientele. But then her expression turns more serious as she shares her news, "But hey, I wanted to let you guys know there's gonna be a huge bonfire at the boneyard tonight. You should come."

You hesitate, unsure if attending such an event is your thing. "We'll be there," JJ interjects confidently, nudging your side with his elbow.

You turn to him with a shocked expression, surprised that he would answer for both of you without consulting you first. But JJ just looks back at you with a smug grin, knowing that you would have declined the invitation if given the chance. After all, spending your nights locked away in your room was your preferred way to unwind after a shift.

"Great! I'll see you guys later then," Sofia beams at JJ's agreement before leaving the kitchen and heading back to the dining area. "Really, JJ? You know those kinds of events aren't my thing," you scowl at him, crossing your arms over your chest. If looks could kill, JJ would be dead by now.

"Well they used to your thing," JJ retorts, his tone firm but laced with concern. "You used to love going out, having fun, being around people. It's been months since...well, since everything happened with Rafe. And honestly, I'm worried about you. You've been shutting yourself off from the world, and it's not healthy."

You stare at him for a moment, his words sinking in. Despite your initial annoyance at his presumptuousness, you can't deny that he has a point. Since the fallout with Rafe, you've become a shell of your former self, hiding away from any social interaction and drowning in your own sorrow. As much as you hate to admit it, JJ is right – you need to start living again.

"Fine," you finally concede, sighing heavily. "I'll go to the bonfire tonight."

JJ's face breaks into a wide grin, relief evident in his eyes. "That's the spirit! Trust me, you'll have a good time. And who knows, maybe it'll help take your mind off things for a little while."

You can't help but feel a flicker of hope ignite deep within you. Maybe JJ is right. Maybe getting out and being around people again will help you heal, even if just a little bit. You try to push away the thoughts of Rafe that immediately flood your mind, but they still linger, like an unwanted guest overstaying their welcome.

As the day wears on, you find yourself in a state of nervous anticipation. You carefully pick out an outfit that strikes the delicate balance between casual and put-together, not wanting to draw too much attention but also wanting to feel good about yourself. When evening falls and the sky is painted with hues of orange and pink, you make your way out to the boneyard.

The beach is alive with activity as people gather around the roaring bonfire. The sound of laughter and music fills the air, and you can feel the vibrant energy pulsating through the crowd. You take a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart, and step into the midst of the festivities.

JJ appears by your side, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. "Ready for some fun?" he asks, his voice barely audible above the clamor of voices and music.

You nod, summoning all your courage. "Yeah, let's do this."

As you navigate through the throng of people, you catch glimpses of familiar faces from work and around town. Sofia waves at you from a group near the fire, her smile infectious. You offer her a wave in return, grateful for her invitation tonight.

As you approach the fire, the heat washes over you, and you feel its warmth seep into your bones. The crackling of the flames is hypnotic, luring you closer like a moth to a flame. You find yourself drawn to the dancing shadows that flicker against the night sky.

JJ leads you to a group of people gathered around a makeshift bar not too far from the fire. The air is thick with laughter and conversation, and the scent of toasted marshmallows mingles with the salty sea breeze. You feel a sense of belonging in this moment, as if the weight upon your shoulders is slowly being lifted.

Sofia greets you with a hug, her cheerful demeanor contagious. "I'm so glad you made it. We were starting to think you might bail!"

You laugh nervously, feeling a surge of gratitude for these people who have accepted you into their circle without question. "No chance of that now," you reply, trying to match Sofia's energy.

As the night unfolds, Sofia guides you through the lively crowd, introducing you to various friends and acquaintances. The beach is bathed in the warm glow of the bonfire, and the sound of laughter and music fills the air. You start to feel a sense of belonging, appreciating the distraction from the weight of your thoughts.

Sofia eventually leads you towards a group of people gathered near a makeshift bar. The atmosphere here is electric, with the scent of salty sea breeze mingling with the aroma of toasted marshmallows. You watch as a skilled bartender whips up drinks, and the chatter around the bar is animated.

As Sofia continues with introductions, you exchange pleasantries with the friendly faces around you. The nervous anticipation begins to ease, replaced by a growing sense of enjoyment in the company of these new friends.

Suddenly, Sofia mentions that she wants to introduce you to her close-knit group of friends, and she guides you through the crowd towards a more secluded area. The noise from the bonfire and the distant waves becomes a distant hum as you navigate through the lively gathering.

Sofia's friends are engaged in conversation, their laughter punctuating the night air. You offer polite smiles as Sofia introduces you to each person in the group—Topper, Kelce, and then, the name that makes your heart skip a beat, Rafe.

The moment your eyes lock onto Rafe's, a wave of emotions crashes over you. His appearance, altered since the last time you saw him, is evident in the buzzcut that replaces his once unruly hair. His eyes, once filled with a youthful spark, now carry the weight of experiences and challenges. They appear more mature but also worn down, leaving you to wonder if the breakup and its aftermath have taken a toll on him.

Your heart pounds in your chest, each beat echoing the unresolved feelings and unspoken words between you two. The unrelenting gaze he holds sends shivers down your spine, a mixture of nostalgia and regret flooding your senses. It's as if time stands still, encapsulating the raw essence of the moment and the complex emotions entwined in your shared history.

Sofia, oblivious to the sudden shift in atmosphere, continues with the introductions. "This is Y/N, she works with me at the Beach Club. Y/N, meet Topper, Kelce, and, of course, Rafe."

You offer a polite smile, trying to maintain composure despite the tension emanating from Rafe. The silence stretches, and the unspoken words hang heavily in the air. Rafe remains silent, his intense gaze locked onto yours. The once-familiar connection now carries an undeniable weight, and the emotions between you are palpable. The distance between you and Rafe feels both vast and intimate, the unspoken tension hanging heavy in the air. His silence speaks volumes, and the unspoken dialogue between you becomes a poignant narrative of the time that has passed.

The sight of Sofia walking up beside Rafe, followed by his embrace, sends a sinking feeling straight to your heart. A knot tightens in your stomach as you watch the two of them, and Sofia's words hit you like a sudden storm. "Y/N, meet my boyfriend, Rafe," she says, her voice filled with happiness.

Shock sets in, and your world seems to tilt on its axis. The revelation that Rafe, the person you once shared everything with, has found solace and companionship with Sofia creates a sense of nausea. The emotions swirling within you are a tumultuous mix of disbelief, betrayal, and a deep ache that seems to resonate with each beat of your heart.

Your gaze remains fixed on them, unable to look away from the scene unfolding before you. The bonfire's glow casts a surreal light on the trio, emphasizing the complexity of the situation. Questions flood your mind, and you find yourself grappling with the harsh reality of Rafe moving on while you're still entangled in the aftermath.

With a flat tone, you manage to say, "We've met before," acknowledging the shared history that once connected you and Rafe. The air grows heavy, and his jaw clenches even tighter, creating an unspoken tension that hangs between you two. The weight of unspoken words and unresolved emotions lingers in the air, creating an atmosphere thick with discomfort and uncertainty.

Sofia looks between you and Rafe, sensing the tension but not fully understanding the depth of your past connection. She decides to change the subject, suggesting that you all grab drinks and join the group by the bonfire. The invitation hangs in the air, leaving you with a choice to make – whether to navigate the night alongside Rafe and Sofia or find a way to retreat from the situation.

Despite the internal turmoil, you manage a strained smile, agreeing to join the larger group. The trio makes their way toward the makeshift bar, where you can't help but feel Rafe's eyes on you. The silence between you is deafening, each step echoing with the weight of unspoken history.

As you reach the bar, Sofia engages in casual banter with the bartender, leaving you and Rafe standing side by side. The awkwardness is palpable, a silent conversation unfolding between stolen glances and lingering tension. The air becomes charged with the ghosts of memories – the shared laughter, the whispered confessions, and the painful parting words.

Suddenly, a voice cuts through the discomfort, a familiar one calling out to Sofia. She excuses herself, leaving you and Rafe alone for the first time since your worlds shattered. The seconds stretch into an eternity as you both avoid direct eye contact.

Finally, Rafe breaks the silence. His voice is low, tinged with a hint of regret. "It's been awhile."

Rafe's comment about the passage of time lingers in the air, a subtle acknowledgment of the distance that has grown between you. You keep your gaze fixed on the ground, finding it too painful to meet his eyes. The weight of unspoken words hangs heavy between you.

"Yeah," you murmur, your voice barely audible over the surrounding noise. "It has been a while."

A heavy pause follows, filled with the unspoken truth of your separation. The mention of time only serves to underscore the absence of communication, the unanswered questions, and the silence that has defined these months of solitude.

"You never called," you say, your words tinged with a mixture of hurt and frustration. The memories of that night resurface, the promises unfulfilled, and the subsequent silence that followed. The pain of that unanswered call echoes in your voice, a testament to the unresolved emotions that have lingered for far too long.

Rafe's jaw tightens as he absorbs your words. The unspoken tension in the air seems to thicken, heavy with the weight of unaddressed issues. The crowd around you continues to buzz with life, oblivious to the charged atmosphere between you and Rafe. It's a moment suspended in time, caught between the past and the present, with the possibility of either reconciliation or further divergence.

Rafe's silence lingers for a moment, and just as the tension becomes almost unbearable, Sofia reappears at his side, seemingly oblivious to the underlying dynamics. She takes hold of Rafe's arm and playfully insists he joins her in the revelry. He glances back at you, his expression a mix of regret and something else you can't quite decipher.

"See you around, Y/n," Rafe says in a voice that carries a tinge of sadness before he's gently pulled away into the crowd by Sofia. The moment hangs in the air as he disappears, leaving you with a whirlwind of emotions. The reality of seeing Rafe after all these months hits you, and the weight of the encounter settles heavily on your shoulders. The bonfire blazes on, the crackling flames providing an ironic backdrop to the unspoken turmoil within.

The air is thick with a mix of emotions as you hastily navigate through the crowd, the tears in your eyes threatening to spill over. The vibrant atmosphere around you is now a blur as you search desperately for JJ, the only anchor in this sea of turmoil. Your heart pounds with a sense of urgency, the need to escape the situation becoming more palpable with each passing second.

Finally spotting JJ near the makeshift bar, you approach him with a sense of desperation. His eyes widen in concern as he takes in your tear-strained face. "Hey, what happened?" he asks, his voice a soothing anchor in the midst of chaos.

You grab his arm, almost pulling him away from the crowd. "We need to leave, JJ. Now," you implore, your voice choked with emotion. He doesn't ask questions, simply nodding and following your lead. The two of you slip away from the bonfire, leaving behind the flickering flames and the haunting specter of a past you weren't ready to face.

As you retreat from the beach, the distant sounds of laughter and music fade into the background. The cool night air offers a temporary reprieve from the overwhelming emotions that threatened to consume you. JJ walks silently beside you, giving you the space to process whatever had transpired.

As you and JJ continue to walk away from the beach, the words tumble out of your mouth in a shaky confession. "He's dating Sofia," you manage to say, the weight of the realization hitting you like a ton of bricks. Before you know it, the tears you've been holding back begin to stream down your face.

JJ's eyes soften with understanding, and without a word, he wraps his arms around you in a comforting embrace. The sobs escape from deep within you, each one carrying the pain of witnessing the person you once loved move on with someone else.

You let the waves of emotion crash over you, leaning into JJ's support. His presence is a balm, a reminder that you're not alone in this difficult moment. The two of you stand there, the night air filled with the sound of your quiet sobs and the distant echoes of the beach party you've left behind.

In that vulnerable moment, JJ remains a steady anchor, offering solace without the need for words. The weight of heartbreak is momentarily eased by the warmth of his embrace, and for now, you find comfort in the friendship that has become your lifeline.

taglist: @ellesalazar, @champomiel, @vadinaleme, @kys4-20, @gills-lounge, @allsmilesreally7, @sublimepenguinpeach-blog, @sp00ky-spr1te, @bibliophilewednesday, @haroldpotterson, @i-love-rafe, @ellesalazar, @calmoistorm, @abundantxadorations, @fals3-g0d, @gillybear17, @oiiviagrande, @hockeybabe87, @augustlikesdeath, @wpdailyminimeta, @palmwinemami, @loxleys-blog, @ikisscline, @flyestvenustrap, @ilovesteveharrngton, @ijustwanttoreadlols, @fastlovela, @wickedlovely121, @fals3-g0d, @givemylovetoall

#rafe cameron #drew starkey #rafe cameron x reader #obx #outer banks #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe angst #rafe cameron imagine #rafe imagine #rafe cameron x pogue!reader #rafe fic #rafe cameron fic #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #rafe cameron smut #rafe x reader

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coco-loco-nut · 1 month

Text

The Manuscript

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x Reader, Lando Norris x Reader

Summary: "write what you know/lookin' backwards/might be the only way to move forward"

A/n: Surprise, here is a gift from my breakup writing! This album didn't have one miss. Unfortunately, this is not inspired by my own breakup.

requests open masterlist series masterlist __________

You have been holed up in your apartment outside of Nice, France, having moved there from America after your first bestseller. The ocean and beach usually help you write, but you are stuck, so your friends drag you out to Monaco for a girl's weekend.

As you sip on your drink, a guy slides up to you at the bar next to your hotel. "I'm not a donor but I'd give you my heart if you needed it," he says, glancing at your license, and you turn to him, rolling your eyes.

"You are a professional," you take in the guy beside you. His eyes crinkle as he smiles.

"No, just a good samaritan," you let out a small laugh, tilting your head back and finishing your drink.

"A good samaritan would buy another round," your eyes sparkle playfully as he sits beside you, taking your silent invitation to flirt and talk. Your friends leave you alone for the rest of the night, happy to see you relaxed.

He takes you out for coffee the next morning, getting to know each other more. You find out some of the small things, he is 30, does something dangerous for a job, and you learn his first name.

"If the sex is as good as the conversation is, soon we might be pushing strollers," he teases. You become a frequent visitor to Monaco, spending passionate nights and quiet days in his insanely expensive apartment. You lay in bed, him stroking your hair, legs intertwined under the sheets, a light breeze flowing from the windows. You silently wished you were 30 too.

"You are wise beyond your years, this has really been above board, love," his accent soothing as he pulls you closer. You two were planning a year's worth of adventures with each other, you made your coffee together in a French press every morning, and things were going well. But soon it was over, and you weren't sure if things really were above board. Daniel Ricciardo was just a sad memory. You found out who he really was a year after they dated, seeing him in an ad on social media.

After the split, you booked a flight home, only sleeping in your mother's bed the week you were home, crying yourself to sleep. You only are Froot Loops and other children's cereal when she returned to her home in France and dated boys her own age, but they never worked out. You released another book, but it was missing something, your personal experiences were not infused into the book. It was still a best seller.

Years later, you returned to Monaco to celebrate her best friend's birthday where you met another boy your own age. He sees your disillusioned view of love and strives to turn it around. You sit in his apartment, a dartboard on the back of his door and you write and write.

The past couple years had passed by like scenes of a show. You had anonymously taken some writing and literature classes taught in English, your French was good but not that good. Your professor selected your first bestseller for one of the course texts. Thier statement regarding your book stuck with you the most. "Something I learned from Y/n L/n's debut book was to write what you know, looking backwards is sometimes the only way to move forward. She had said in interviews that she writes to heal and loves to infuse her life into her books, making it an intimate read," the professor had analyzed not only your books but also interviews. You approached the professor and introduced yourself, safe to say you didn't have to write an analysis paper on your book.

"How is your book?" your boyfriend asks as you furiously type, the actors hitting their marks.

"A wise professor once said to write what you know. Looking back might be the only way to move forward," you hum. He knew about your ex, but he only knows the ex's first name so he never thought much about the relationship despite you being open about it.

The slow dance of words was alight with sparks as tears fell from your eyes in sync with the score as you type the final words of your manuscript. Your boyfriend holds you close, eyes scanning the computer. At last, you knew what all the agony the last few years had been for.

Now and then you and your boyfriend reread the manuscript as it passes through editing. You go on an American book tour as he travels for work. You set up a camera for the book announcement, holding your book, simply titled 'The Manuscript'.

"To my ex, the only thing left is The Manuscript, one last souvenir from my trips to your shores. Dear readers, the story isn't mine anymore, it's yours," the short video goes viral. Your boyfriend sees a text pop up on your phone from a number you never bothered to block.

Daniel Ricciardo Y/n what the hell?

"Daniel Ricciardo was your ex?" Lando asks, never really putting the puzzle together.

"Yeah, he never even told me who he really was, I should've asked in fairness," you say cautiously. You noticed the next too.

"Well, I'm glad he didn't turn you off drivers. And I'm glad that I am the one who gets to love you," Lando hugs you, not mad at you for not disclosing that information.

"I love you, Lan, please don't give me a reason to write anything but a sweet romance book about you," you whisper, a silent plea to whoever decides fate.

"What about one of those smut books that girls like to take and read on vacation at the beach?" Lando jokes, your face flushing.

"Hmm, maybe," your smile lights up the room and Lando can't help but silently thank his former teammate for fucking up. Nothing satisfies both of you more than the look on Daniel's face when you show up to a grand prix on Lando's arm. You approach the Australian, fishing the book from your bag.

"Now and then I re-read The Manuscript, the story isn't mine anymore," you hand him the book, a handwritten note tucked into the pages as he watches you walk away. A reminder of everything he had and lost remains.

#f1 imagines #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #daniel ricciardo #f1 grid x reader #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris imagines #lando norris #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo imagines #daniel ricciardo imagine #the tourtured poets department #this album had no misses #this song healed my broken heart #Spotify

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strawberryfairi · 5 months

Note

Gurlllll, the choso fic....more please!!!! 🥵🥵🥵

Apartment 519... | Neighbor! Choso Kamo X Fem Reader Part 2

A short, sexy thirst (with a little more plot this time)💦 Choso's eager to give you better than your ex could...

↳ A/N🧚🏾‍♀️: Ask and u shall receive...I been cookin'🫡 I hope you enjoy this one as much as the first💚

Part 1

w.c. 2.1k

It's been two days since your breakup...and since your neighbor Choso went and blew your mind in your bed.

You really weren't sure what to do from here. He'd made it clear his intentions with you, which now that you think about it, was very fitting with his usual sweet and considerate character. It's just...you wanted to make the right choice, and you weren't sure what that right choice even was.

Flashback 2 Night Ago

You were laid on your bed next to him, completely exhausted and beyond satisfied. Choso was careful with you, not wanting to come on too strong yet still wanted-no needed for you to understand what this had meant to him. So he leans on his elbow, resting his head on his palm as he looks down at you.

"I uhh...I don't want you to think I was just using you while you were vulnerable. I really meant everything I said, and I-..." He trails off nervously, looking to the side for a moment before steeling himself. "I don't want this to have been just a regular one night stand, and..if you want, I could maybe take you out to dinner some time?" He finishes, looking you in the eyes with as much sincerity as he could muster.

You heart strings pulled in your chest. It was just so much happening in one day. It's not like you weren't flattered or anything it's just...everything's moving so damn fast.

It had only been just a few hours ago that you'd found your boyfriend with a whole other woman, sloppily kissing each other in his car. Now you're with someone else already too, having had such amazing sex and now he's telling you he basically wants more.

"I...don't know what to say." You murmur hesitantly.

"No no, you don't have to say anything!" He blurts out, placing a hand on your bare shoulder.

"I just didn't want you to think I was trying to take advantage of you. I think you're really beautiful, and I wanna get to know you more." He adds, giving you the most cutest nervous smile you've ever seen.

It makes a smile of your own creep across your lips. "Thank you, Choso. You're really sweet." Leaning over, you plant a soft kiss on his rosy cheek, unintentionally giggling at the goofy-lovestruck look on his face.

"Will you think about it? About me taking you out?" He asks, eyes sparkling hopefully.

It was almost shocking how nervous he is when just a bit ago he seemed so confident, so self-assured. Right now he's damn near reminding you of a puppy.

"Yeah. I will."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Present

The morning after your night with Choso, he'd placed his number on a small piece of paper, leaving it on the night stand on your side of the bed.

Now, two days later, you still haven't touched it.

It seemed like the right decision, just don't touch it so you could give yourself time to actually process your break up. This wasn't just any old, cutesy relationship, you were in love. For the first time you'd actually think and think realistically about possibly spending your life with someone. The two of you planned a future together, and though it terrified you to think about it, at the end of the day you were dating to marry.

Choso's just a neighbor, an attractive neighbor, but...you just weren't sure if it was a good idea to be around him. But even so it wasn't like you could avoid him very well, the dude lives directly across from you.

The morning after was so awkward. The two of you ran into each other in the parking lot, both getting ready to head off and start the day. He always goes to work in the morning, and you like to do work at your favorite cafe just a few minutes from the apartment.

Neither of you seemed sure about what to say to each other, so you just opted for a simple smile and wave.

The entire day you tried to just get your mind off of both guys, yet it didn't go very well.

One hour you'd be crying angrily over your piece of crap ex boyfriend in the public bathroom stall, then you'd be getting those random flashbacks to being with Choso, stomach flipping and heart fluttering.

By the end of the day you couldn't take it. Weighing the pros and cons, you figured you'd might as well just try one date, and if things don't go well then that's that.

It's nearly eleven p.m., around the time you knew Choso gets back to his apartment from his workout. You'd timed it perfectly, rushing over to your front door and poking your head out. There he was in his gym clothes, a black compression shirt paired with dark grey sweatpants. His hair was up in his usual hairstyle, those cute spiky looking buns that really matches with his overall vibe.

"Choso!" You call out to him just before he could turn the doorknob.

Instantly he stops, turning back towards you with his brows raised in surprise. "H-hey."

"I'm really sorry I never called or texted you, I just had to think. But-..but I wouldn't mind going on a date with you. I wanna get to know you more too." You admit, cheeks heating up with slight embarrassment.

For a moment he doesn't say anything, making your heart sink to your feet, worried that maybe he'd moved on from you already. "Am I..too late?"

"No not at all! I was just surprised. I honestly thought you didn't want to go out with me." He chuckles nervously, brushing a hand over the back of his neck.

"No I do! I definitely do." You giggle.

"Are you free Friday night? I could pick you up at seven?" He suggests with a soft tone.

"Yeah, that's perfect! Should I dress pretty nice or...-

"You always dress nice, don't worry about it." He compliments flirtatiously.

"I'll see you then."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday Evening

The two of you stand there outside of your respective homes, eyes trailing over each other.

Choso looks...gorgeous. He's got his hair out from his usual style, down and brushed back out of his face. His outfit is a black, slightly ripped sweater, the neckline hanging low enough to show his prominent collarbones, paired with black cargo pants. A silver chain hang around his neck, along with two rings on each pointer and ring finger on both hands.

Your outfits were polar opposites, you being more of a bright color lover since it pops so well against your skin.

You were wearing a light blue, form fitting midi dress, your hair in a simple updo with drop earrings. A pair of white heels, and a silver sparkly purse completed your look.

"You look beautiful." He states softly, closing the door to his apartment.

"Thank you, you look really nice yourself." You compliment with a bashful laugh.

💎

Choso ended up taking you out to a fairly nice Italian restaurant further into the city, with dim lighting, and top notch servers.

It was a pleasant surprise how easy he was to talk to, you could go on and on about anything and everything with each other, and he loved to ask you questions about yourself. It almost made you feel bad as sometimes it seemed it was mostly you sharing things about yourself. It was sweet though, as it showed just how eager he was to get to know you.

You learned he's an eldest brother, with a younger sibling named Yuji who likes to comes to visit him every now and then. It didn't take long to realize he's a very family-oriented kind of guy, but it made sense with his overall personality. The guy's so compassionate and thoughtful, of course he'd be the family first type. You loved it about him though, he talked about his brother like he was his entire world.

The night had gone by just a bit too fast in your opinion, even though you guys were at that restaurant for nearly two hours, then spent another three just leisurely walking around the city afterwards.

There wasn't a single moment with Choso that you didn't like, and he was such a gentleman. He never let you walk around without your arm linked with his, and he made sure you were always walking on the inside of every sidewalk. It was disappointing when you both came back to the apartment building, if you could, you'd just stay out with him talking the entire night.

"I really had a lot of fun with you, Choso. If you want, I-..I'd definitely be down to do this again." You suggest shyly, eyes looking down at your hands clasping around your little sparkly purse.

"Me too, and I would." He smiles cutely. You look up at him, relief and excitement flashing across your face. "Goodnight." He murmurs, leaning down and planting a soft kiss on your cheek. Your heart fluttered wildly in your chest, cheeks heating up at the sweet gesture. He gives you one last smile before reaching for his keys, unlocking his apartment and heading inside.

You're frozen in the corridor chewing the inside of your cheek as you inwardly debate your uncharacteristically bold next move.

"W-wait!" You mutter abruptly, grabbing his free hand just before he left out of sight.

"I-...would you wanna...come over?" You ask shyly. You couldn't even look up at him you were so nervous, hoping you weren't coming across thirsty.

Choso's brows raise slightly in surprise. "Yeah. Sure, I'd love to."

You let out a breath you didn't even realize you were holding, smiling wide in excitement as you go into your purse and grab your keys.

1 Hour Later

Choso's large hands glide down to your upper back, pressing you further into the mattress as he pounds into you from behind. Tears quickly form in the corner's of your eyes, gripping the sheets with everything you have.

"Ch-choso! Fuuuck!" You wail loudly, feeling your body start shaking all over again. One thing about sex with Choso is he'll have you losing count of how many times you cum for sure. He's like an orgasm addict, building you up and watching you fall apart on him over and over.

"Cum for me pretty baby." He coos lowly, watching those cute little tears of ecstasy stream down your cheeks.

"Aaaah! Ah!" Your whimpers mix perfectly with the sounds of your sloppy wet pussy coating his length with yet another layer of cum.

"That's it, there it is." He groans, keeping his strokes steady and precise.

You're so fucked out at this point your mind is completely fogged. This position he has you in doesn't make it any easier, completely at the mercy of his skillful, long thrusts, reaching so deep inside you.

"You feel so gooood! Oh my god!" You cry, loving the way his hips snap into yours. For the entire night your ex was long gone as if he never even existed. The only clear thing your mind could focus on was Choso and Choso only.

"Uhhuh, you love this dick, baby?" He murmurs lowly.

"I love it! I love it!" You repeat over and over desperately between your whimpers and cries.

It was already too much, and you were surprised you hadn't tapped out by now, pleading for him to stop. But you couldn't get enough, not nearly enough. So you took everything he graciously gave to you.

Choso slows his thrusts down just a bit, wanting to savor every inch of him that drags back and forth in your tight, slippery walls. "This pussy's so good. I can't stop fucking you." He purrs sensually.

And he stood on that too...

He gave you back shots as long as he wanted, just to pull out and fuck you with his tongue, making you cum on it before he slides his big dick right back inside.

Somehow tonight was even better than the first time with him, and now that he's learned what you like he uses every little technique, determined on mastering it.

"I like you baby; wanna be yours." He admits softly. He's got a tight hold on your hips, laid out on your stomach as he drives his thick length into you. You let out a long, drawn out moan in response, way too overstimulated to form words anymore.

Choso knew you weren't fully aware of just how much he likes you. He knew you didn't click to the way he's always looked at you. To be honest, he always felt like he was better than your ex, he knew he could do so much better. He wants to show you what it's really like to be loved by someone, and now that he has a chance he damn sure wasn't about to go and waste it.

He's gonna pursue you, take you out on as many dates as he needs to, kiss and fuck you with everything he has, all so it's crystal clear that he wants to be more than just your sweet little neighbor across the way.

#choso kamo #choso kamo smut #black fem reader #strawberryfairi🧚🏾‍♀️#choso jjk #choso smut #jjk smut #jjk #choso #choso x reader smut #jjk fanfic #black female writer #choso x black!reader #fem reader #jjk choso #jjk choso smut #choso is so damn fine ugh!#super hot choso smut!!!#choso being a gentleman with good dick

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gretavanmoon · 2 months

Text

G13

Spinning Now: "Finish What Ya Started" by Van Halen (1988)

Pairing: Josh x Female Reader

Word Count: 8.2k

Description: You and Josh, your favorite new co worker, decide to share more than drinks as what started as a normal night turns into something you never expected.

Warnings: Smoking, Drinking, Cursing, Drug Use, Heavy Flirting, Praise, Dirty Talk, Touching, Mention of Breakups and Heartbreak, Sadness. Smut: Kissing, Oral M!receiving

New town, new job, new life.

That’s always how things went in the movies, and every time, the girl always got her happy ending.

How hard can it be, right?

After you’d managed to knock the first new off your list when you moved out of your ex’s house and to the next city over, the “job” part was next in line. After a week of filling out applications, you finally landed on the perfect selection, a serving job at Angelo’s Pizza.

You’d started this new job about about three months ago, and you finally felt like you were getting your footing with the flow of things. You’d been a server for as long as you could remember, but getting used to a new restaurant with new people and new menus and management could sometimes prove to be difficult. You were handling it with as much grace as you could, and the money was killer, so you stuck it out.

“You coming to the bar with me tonight?” your new favorite coworker, Josh asked as he stared into the kitchen from the expo window, rolling a pile of coasters across the countertop.

“Mmmh…” You mumbled under your breath. “I dunno, I’ve been here since lunch and my feet are absolutely killing me.”

”Ugh don’t be such a prude, Y/N.” He responded, taking a pepperoni and cheese in one hand, and a supreme in the other. “We’ll be sitting down the whole time. Ya know. In barstools.”

“Shut the fuck up.” You teased, elbowing him in the ribs. “I guess so, but I can’t stay out late like last weekend. I open tomorrow.”

“Oooo, a clopen. That sucks. Well, I don’t. So I can get drunk, and you can watch me.” He flashed you a giant smile before taking off with the pizzas in hand, disappearing into the sea of people seated in the restaurant.

Josh had befriended you on your very first day, comforting you after your manager harshly scolded you for ringing something in incorrectly.

“Don’t worry about it.” He’d said as you pouted in the walk-in. “I still fuck my shit up all the time. The cooks don’t really care, plus if you mess somethin’ up, we get to eat the fucked up pizza.” That was the only thing he said to you the entire day, but it really stuck with you, immediately making you feel a lot better about your tiny mistake.

Now, after a few months of working side by side with Josh, you’d actually gotten to know each other fairly well, and you’d even go as far as calling him one of your good friends. You’d managed to get to know all your coworkers on a surface level, but Josh actually took the time to listen to you when you spoke, and showed real interest in the things you had to say, no matter how menial.

He was cute, and around the same age as you, but there was something about Josh that you couldn’t put your finger on. It was something that struck you, making him stand out from the rest of the guys you worked with. His aura pulled you in, and the way his eyes sparkled in the neon that covered the walls of the restaurant didn’t help the fact that he sometimes made your heart skip a beat. You decided that it was just his looks, though, catching you off guard every once in a while as you were around him more. Most importantly, he made you feel welcome. Like a good friend should.

The more you got to know Josh, the more open he became with you, and you quickly learned that his real personality outside of work was a little bit different than when you were on the clock. It’d become almost a habit, now, joining Josh at his favorite dive bar down the street when you’d both end up on the same closing schedule. It was like Groundhog Day, Josh would ask you to come out, you’d find an excuse to turn him down, but you always left Angelo’s with your hand in his as you tiredly dragged yourselves down the street. Sometimes other coworkers would join you, but it was always the two of you left shutting the bar down, joking and laughing with one another as you waited for your Ubers.

Josh was quickly becoming a norm for you. A fun, platonic norm. And though you were both flirty with one another, it never felt as though it would go past anything but that. Just friends. And you were very content with that.

So tonight, as things wound down and the patrons closed out their tabs, you felt as if you really could use a nightcap or two to reward yourself for not making even one mistake on your orders today.

As you tied the oversized trash bag closed, you met eyes with Josh as he skillfully swiped the mop across the sticky, sauce-covered floor.

He grinned when he saw you looking, making your stomach drop. “What?” He asked, biting his lower lip in as he staved off a full-on smile.

“Nothing. Just thinking about how you roped me into going out again tonight.” You said with faux aggravation.

Josh sucked in his teeth as he plopped the mop back into the big yellow bucket, rolling it over to where you stood. “Actually, I asked you out with me tonight for another reason. I wasn’t kidding when I said I was gonna get absolutely shit hammered, tonight.” His tone was serious rather than silly, and you instantly felt like something was wrong.

“What’s the other reason?” You pressed, lifting the bag from the can. “Everything okay?”

He shook his head and swallowed, opening the double doors to the kitchen to go and dump his bucket. You followed closely behind him with your trash.

“Eh, not really. I’ll tell you all about it when we get there. Let’s lock this bitch up.” He flashed his eyes to the floor as he spoke, which was unlike him. He always spoke with such confidence and effortless ease.

The two of you finished up your closing tasks and said goodnight to the line cooks, grabbing up your things from your lockers and stuffing your aprons back inside. Josh was quiet the whole time, again striking you as out of the ordinary. You hadn’t known Josh long, but you did know him well enough to know that something was off, and he wasn’t handling it well.

“Think I’m going straight for liquor tonight.” He said as you walked arm in arm down the crowded sidewalk to the bar. He tilted his head back, blowing a puff of air above you, watching as the cold air turned it into steam.

“Damn.” You answered. “You must really be going through it, friend.” It was also unlike Josh to drink liquor; each time you were around him, he’d always chosen draft beer.

You both stepped inside the dimly-lit dive bar, letting the heat warm your chilly bones from the cold autumn air. You both took up camp on two stools at the end of the bar, closest to the back wall. The bartender Roy approached you, throwing down two bar napkins in front of you as you got comfortable in your seats.

“Evenin’, guys. Sex on the Beach andddd, Josh, we’ve got a Kolsch and a pale ale on tap, and also a—“

“Jack Daniel’s. Neat, please.” Josh interrupted Roy, causing him to contort his face with surprise.

“Been waiting on you almost five years and never known you to drink liquor. But, alright…” Roy responded as he left for a minute, returning and placing your drinks in front of you. “I’ll keep the tab goin’.”

It was silent between the two of you for the first couple of minutes, both of you sipping your drinks as you relaxed your muscles from the long workday. Finally, you decided you would have to be the one to speak first, for once.

“Okay, spill. What’s got you on the hard stuff tonight?” You asked, turning to face Josh in your stool.

He leaned on his elbow, his tight black t-shirt squeezing his toned arm just right. “I got dumped last night.”

You felt your eyebrows jump to your forehead. “What?! Oh my god, I’m so sorry, Josh…I didn’t even know you had a—“

“Nah, it’s okay. I could kinda tell shit was going sideways, anyway, ya know? Almost expected it. But, still doesn’t make it hurt any less.” He disconnected his eye contact, tilting his glass back all the way and finishing off the last bit of his whiskey.

You were almost stunned speechless. You hadn’t seen Josh show any emotion that even came close to sadness before, and you struggled with how you were going to react.

Roy brought the bottle of Jack over, filling Josh’s glass with another two fingers.

“How long were you together?” You asked, tiptoeing with caution, given that he might not want to go into much detail.

“Four and a half years.” He said blankly.

“My god, are you serious?!” You choked out with disbelief.

He nodded hard as he kept his eyes trained on the bar in front of you, spinning his stool in tiny tight circles. “Yeah. Long time.” He sipped his drink again.

“I really am sorry, Josh. That’s a long time to be with someone for it to just...” You placed a hand on his arm as you spoke.

He crossed his arms in front of him. “Yeah, it’s fucked.” He growled, leaning back in his stool.

“You wanna talk about it?” You asked.

“No, that’s why we’re here.” He slammed his hands on the bar top, motioning for Roy to refill your already almost empty cocktail.

Roy brought your new drink over, stirring the drink with the tiny straw for you. Josh lifted his glass into the air, forcefully clinking it against yours. “To moving on!” He said, finishing the drink off once again.

——

An hour or so later, you and Josh had managed to find yourselves significantly intoxicated once again, engaged in a deep passionate debate.

“Ever since they banned smoking indoors, the American bar scene has been fucked!” Josh drunkenly yelled overtop of the loud music and large crowd that had joined you inside the bar.

You had to laugh. “Josh, not everybody loves breathing that shit in! It makes some people really sick!” You challenged.

“Ah, hell. You come into a bar, you expect to be around smoke, all there is to it. All there is to it!” He crossed his arms and shrugged his shoulders in defiance of your argument.

“You can go outside and smoke, Josh. Easy as that. Just get over it!” The two of you were glassy-eyed and giggly, feeling your liquor take hold of you as you talked. Josh brought about a warmth in you that you’d never experienced before, and you’d be lying if you said your…attraction? to him wasn’t amplified when you were drunk.

No, not attraction.

Something else…

You had no idea what to label the feeling, because you’d never felt it ever before. You took it in stride, though, embracing the completely new emotion as it came. It was almost like you craved his attention, and fed off of him engaging with you. You wanted to please him, but not in such a way that was sexual.

…You didn’t think.

No. You just craved his recognition. Wanted his eyes on you and no one else. Wanted to make him laugh, be the one who made him forget about everything else. It wasn’t a jealousy thing, it was a matter of possessiveness. You wanted to protect him like a best friend. And anyone who dared cause him unhappiness would have to deal with you.

Is this insane thinking?! Am I crazy for this? You drunkenly asked yourself as you washed your hands in the bar bathroom sink, giving yourself a disapproving look in the mirror. Probably, maybe…but he seems to feel the same about you... You had noticed that the second you’d inadvertently struck up a conversation with another guy at the bar, Josh quickly stole your attention away again, bringing up a whole new topic of conversation that had nothing to do with the last.

He charmed you. Drew you in. Challenged your thoughts and opinions…made you talk like you’d never talked before. Laugh like you’d never laughed.

“You’re really smart, Y/N. I didn’t really notice that about you, before.” Josh smiled as he leaned over toward you on the bar. His cheeks were tinted the prettiest pink from the alcohol.

“Uhh, thanks, I guess?” You chortled, feigning being offended.

“No I mean, you surprise me. Keep me guessing, every time I turn around. Never had a friend like that before. I’m usually so bored with everyone I meet. You make me like, think. Ya know?” He explained as you nodded sweetly in understanding. You knew you were blushing.

“Last call!!” You heard Roy yell across the still-crowded room. You made blurry eye contact with Josh again.

“Damn, we didddit agin.” You stammered. “Let me pay, you’ve had a hard couple’a days.”

“No no no, no you don’t. I asked you here, my treat. Plus, my drinks were fuckin’ pricey tonight.”

“But Josh, let me treat you, for once...” You jutted your bottom lip out as you begged him. You watched as his eyes landed on your lips, stealing his attention again. Suddenly, you felt excited.

“Alright, alright. But I’m leavin’ the tip.” He agreed. “I just needed some sympathy…that’s all I wanted tonight.”

“And you got it, didn’t you? You forgot all about your messy breakup?”

“For the most part, yes.” He laughed. “But I like to look at the long run, ya know? Like to take each step, one by one. Let myself live in the sadness.”

You scoffed as you signed your name on the receipt and pulled your coat on. “Psh, Josh, didn’t you just cheers me and say ‘to moving on’?”

He stood from his stool, wrapping his arm around your neck tightly. The smell of his cologne mixed with the remnants of pizza filled your senses, temporarily making you dizzy as he squeezed you in his grip.

“I did, Y/N, I did. But I’m also drunk, now. So. And also, I don’t really wanna go home yet. ‘M gonna walk you to your Uber then hit up Chauncey’s…they stay open ‘til 2.”

You turned in his grasp, your face within inches of his as he held you tightly. “Don’t go back out, Josh. No sense in drinkin’ your sorrows away by yourself.” It felt like you were outside of your own body; all you wanted was to go home and strip down and crawl into bed, but for some reason, your mouth told Josh that apparently you didn’t want to go home, either. “Come back to my place. We’ll have one more drink, and we can share the blunt that TJ gave me yesterday.”

“TJ? The linecook?” Josh seemed surprised. “You letting strangers give you drugs now, Y/N?”

“He’s hardly a stranger, Josh. Why, you jealous?” You teased, while also testing the waters of what the hell this feeling the two of you apparently shared could actually be.

“Fuck no, I’m not jealous. I’m…I…” Josh opened his mouth, but nothing came out after that. “I don’t know, I just—“ You were still tightly wrapped up in the crook of his elbow, his face so close to yours that you could smell the liquor on his breath as he struggled to speak.

You decided to save him. “It’s alright Josh. You don’t have to come over. I’ll smoke it allllll by myself…” you sneakily wrapped your arm around his back, giving it a couple playful pats.

He looked down at you through his lashes, his jaw clenched tightly together. “You really want me to come over?”

You nodded. “I do. Come on, it’ll be fun.” More than anything, you wanted him to know you were the reason he had such a good night, and the reason he was able to forget about his breakup.

“Okay, jackass. You talked me into it. Let’s go get high.” He released you from his grasp as you confirmed your Uber on your phone, and your overwhelming satisfaction of claiming his attention again propelled you out the door.

——

“Cute place. You decorate it yourself?” Josh teased as you both entered your apartment. It was only half-decorated and you hardly had any furniture, spending most of your days working and saving up money to finish furnishing it.

“Shut up, dick head!” You shoved him backwards as he laughed. “I haven’t finished making it cute yet.” You pulled the bottle of liquor from the cabinet, shaking the little bit that was left. “I know you’ve been drinking whiskey, but…vodka’s all I’ve got.”

“Ah, it’ll work.” Josh responded, plopping down on your couch. “M’already fucked with a hangover tomorrow, might as well do it up.” You caught sight of his pretty light brown curls sitting on top of his head, and you felt another rush of that strange excitement soar through you.

You made the two drinks and joined him on the couch, pulling the blunt up under your nose as you breathed in its earthy scent. Josh took the drink from your hand, raising his eyebrows as he watched you smell the rolled marijuana.

“TJ usually has good shit, I will say.” He winked, sipping his drink.

You pulled your feet up underneath you on the couch, scooting yourself closer to him. “Thought you said I shouldn’t take drugs from strangers…”

“I never said you shouldn’t, I just meant that next time you should get your weed from me.” He spoke without a care, taking the blunt from your hand and bringing it to his own nose.

“Ah, well I was unaware I could do that, Joshua.” You snatched it back from him, taking the lighter from the table in front of you and lighting the end of the blunt. You inhaled the smoke slowly, noticing that Josh hadn’t responded to you.

You glanced at him, finding the most devastating half smile on his face. You swore you felt your skin tingle.

“Did you just call me by my government name, Y/N?” He whispered, leaning his head down to you.

You exhaled the smoke you didn’t realize you were holding, nodding slowly. “Yeah, you mad about it?”

You passed him the blunt. “Nah, kinda liked the way it sounded, actually.” You watched as his lips made a perfect O around the tip of the blunt, and you found yourself wondering what kind of chapstick he used to get them to look…like that…

You felt your eyes grow heavy as your first hit found you, the THC entering your system quickly. Josh must have noticed, as he giggled at your appearance. “Told you TJ had good shit.”

“I swear to god I’m already fuckin’ high…” you laughed, taking another big hit.

“Mmm, no baby, you’re crossed. But not all the way. Yet.” Josh’s voice was gritty and buttery all at the same time. And the fact that he called you baby had you feeling that same feeling again. He calls everybody baby, though…all the girls at work…you’re not special.

The two of you sat and smoked until the blunt was a roach, and the air around you was thick with haziness. Your entire body was heavy and floaty, and you swore you could feel the blood pumping through your extremities. The conversation with Josh was so easy, so effortless, and the way the two of you held the complete attention of one another continued to astound you.

“So tell me about you. What’s your real story?” Josh asked, the both of you sitting facing one another completely, now.

You sipped your vodka drink. “What do you mean, real story?”

“I only know a little bit about you, where did you come from? What’s in your past?”

You took a deep breath. “Well, believe it or not, Josh, I kinda just got broken up with recently, too.”

“No way, you’re kidding. When? What happened?” He pressed.

“Ahh, about a month before I started at Angelo’s. I’m from about twenty miles away, up north a bit. Came here looking to start completely fresh. Still close enough to my family, if I need them. Ya know…” you trailed off. Josh’s eyes were telling you to continue.

“I got dumped, too. After a year of being with him. I thought we were serious, but apparently not. It didn’t hurt me too bad, I’m alright. Liking my new life pretty well, actually.”

Josh dramatically leaned back on the couch cushion, throwing his free hand over his face. “Ugh, god…how embarrassing. You handled bein’ dumped like a goddamned rockstar. I’m over here down in the dumps.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s okay, Josh. Four and a half years is a lot longer than one…”

“You’re right, I guess.” He sat back up, bringing his attention back to you. “So what was his reason? What was his last straw?” He asked, moving his face closer to yours. Your body was vibrating from the alcohol and the weed, and the presence of Josh sitting so close to you on your couch. You were positively buzzing.

“He uh, didn’t really give me one. Just said it was over.” You whispered, feeling your emotions flying all over the place. Josh’s hand reached up, twirling a piece of your hair between his fingers. “He also said I was a bad kisser, or something stupid.”

Josh winced at your words. “A bad kisser? I highly doubt that, Y/N…”

“And why do you doubt that?” You giggled.

“Because. I have a hard time taking my eyes off your lips, I can only imagine how hard it would be to take my lips off of them…” he smirked a little, laughing through his nose.

“You’re fuckin’ stoned.” You laughed, leaning your face onto his hand.

“And? I speak nothing but the truth, baby.”

“Mmmhm, yeah. Shut up.” You complained.

“I’m serious. I bet you really are a good kisser. That guy was just…stupid.”

“Maybe I’m a horrible kisser, how would I ever know?” You shrugged, feeling your body about to jump out of your skin simply from having this conversation with Josh.

He held his first two fingers up, motioning for you to come here. “Come on. Show me how you like to kiss.”

“What?! No, I’m not gonna do that.” You blushed, pulling away from him with shyness.

“Baby, it’s me. I’m just trying to judge your kissing skills. I’ll be completely honest with you, tell you if that guy was right or not.” Josh said, holding his hands out to the sides.

You stopped, staring at Josh through your slit eyelids, trying to figure him out. He met you with sincere eyes, and though you were both extremely intoxicated, you didn’t feel uncomfortable in the least.

“I’m serious. Just kiss me.” He said matter of factly. “S’no big deal.”

You took a deep breath, feeling the air surrounding you heavy with normalcy, but also heavy with yearning.

You slowly pulled yourself in closer to him, gently wetting your lips as your mind went back and forth on whether or not to do this. Your breath became a little chopped, nerves bursting through the wall of your drunken carelessness.

Finally you were close enough to feel his breath on your lips, and your hands naturally shot up to cup his jaw. He clenched it, his eyes falling heavy again as his breath caught. Your heart was absolutely pounding from your chest.

“Do it.” He whispered. “Show me.”

You finally let your lips press gently to his, your hands still cupping his jaw, as his hands sat comfortably in his lap. The feeling of them was exactly what you had imagined, soft, supple, and sweet, with the tiniest bit of sting on them from the leftover liquor. You finally exhaled, pulling away a bit to gauge his reaction.

“You can get into it, baby.” He smiled, urging you to push through your nerves. “I’m just here to help, s’just me…” his voice was like honey, the sound of it tearing through your body as he motivated you.

You leaned in again, this time letting yourself be a little more brazen, a little more steadfast as you worked to prove your ex wrong. Worked to impress Josh. Worked to show him. You opened your mouth a little, letting your tongue skirt across his bottom lip. The flavor of him almost knocked you down.

You began to get into it some more, letting your high take over, and letting your guard down as you found yourself really, really enjoying kissing him. You perched up a little bit moving to your knees to get a better stance.

“Mmmhmm… keep goin’ baby…” Josh mumbled when you broke away for a second. His words urged you on, and you felt brave enough to push your tongue further into his mouth, but only a little. You didn’t want to overwhelm, just experiment. His tongue met yours in the process, tasting each other for the very first time.

Your hands curled up in his hair, squeezing at the roots a bit. He let out a little whine, so quiet that you almost didn’t even hear it. It ignited something inside you again, and you knew you had to drive it home. Had to prove yourself. You pulled away for a second, hissing in air as you bit his bottom lip, pulling it out a little and making eye contact before pressing into him again, both of you moving in such unison that you were fully involved in the sultry kiss, now.

At this point you felt like you were teetering on the thin line of platonic kissing; you were still trying to prove yourself, but also…he tasted so good…

You felt the need to be touched. You reached down and grabbed Josh��s wrists, pulling them up to rest on you- one hand on your thigh, and the other around the back of your neck. You wanted reciprocation. He obliged, and as you licked into his mouth, his hand squeezed into your thigh, strong and needing. His fingers felt like burning embers on your leg, and you wished that you had changed into shorts when you got home.

His hand pulled at the back of your neck, burying your mouths further into one another. “Fuck, baby…he was wrong, you proved him so wrong…” Josh said, smiling against your lips as he delved back in. Your mind was swimming from his words of praise, and you decided that though this was simply an act between friends, you knew that you could kiss him all day long, never tiring of the feeling of his lips on yours. You were completely surrounded by him, by his warming presence. His scent, his sounds, his touch… It was all too much. You felt like you were drowning in him, but you didn’t dare try to pull yourself from his waters.

Your hands squeezed at his hair one last time as you let them drift down his cheeks and neck, tickling the back of his neck before rolling across his shoulders. You slowly brought them down to his pecs, and finally rested them on his cheeks again, pulling his face away from yours for a split second before landing one last peck.

When you finally disconnected, you took in the sight of him…hair disheveled, eyes black and glazed, and his hands still rested gently in the places that you put them.

“Holy fuck…” he breathed.

“Oh my god, was it bad? It was bad, wasn’t it? He was right, I’m a horrible kis—“ you were completely cut off by Josh’s lips on yours again, this time forcefully pulling you into him. This kiss was pleading, unbridled, and wanting, and each time you pulled away, you both were panting with want.

“What the fuck are we doing?” You breathed when you broke away.

“Kissing contest.” He answered, his hand respectfully staying on the back of your neck. “I think I’m winning, though…”

“Mmm, I don’t know about that…” you said with a bit more confidence in yourself after seeing how you made him feel.

“Yeah you’re right.” He agreed through an inhale. “You’re kicking my ass at this experiment.” He drove his tongue into your mouth again, but it didn’t make you want to retract…it made you want to pull it in further. You began to feel the heat that the two of you were emanating, and the sweat that was forming on your skin.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t completely turned on, but you would never let him know that. You couldn’t. You’re just friends. One friend helping another get over his ex by having a kissing contest. Makes total sense.

Finally you pulled away again, covering your mouth with your hand. You laughed, making Josh in turn laugh with you. “Well? What’s the verdict? Was he right?” You asked.

“Fuck no, he wasn’t right. You’re a hell of a kisser, Y/N.” Josh’s smile stretched all the way across his face, completely blissed out in his high. “God damn, you left me a panting mess, baby.”

Your heart stopped at his words, feeling more confidence in yourself than you’d felt in a long, long time. Suddenly, the wildest idea to ever come across your mind escaped right through your lips.

“Josh, we’re just good friends, right?” You asked.

“Yeah, baby. Real good friends.” He wiped his hand across his mouth before extending both arms across the back of your couch.

“Do you—do you care if I finish what I started?” You asked in an absolute moment of weakness. The look on his face turned up into surprise, and you weren’t sure how he was going to react to your question.

“What uh, what do you mean, Y/N?”

You moved toward him again, wanting to feel him again. Feel his hands on you again. Be the center of all his attention again.

“Can you judge something else for me, Josh? I’ve always wondered how well I…performed…and who better to be the judge than my very good friend? Who will be completely honest with me?”

WHO even are you?! You felt like a person outside your own body. The confidence he was giving you was…

“This ain’t no way to treat the broken-hearted, baby…” he replied, his voice a soft breath of air as his head lulled backwards. You paused again, unsure how to take him. “But I’ll be your judge…”

“Really? You will?” You asked, feeling vulnerable, but also wanting to show out for him.

“Mhm. If that’s what you really want…” He bit his lower lip into his mouth, letting his eyes fall onto your lips like they had been doing all night.

“Just friends…” you reiterated.

“Just friends.” He parroted, lightly tapping your cheek with his hand.

This was absolutely something you never did, and definitely wasn’t something you could ever even see yourself doing with Josh, of all people. You were supposed to be making him forget about his ex, letting him talk through it… hell, he was just dumped twenty-four hours ago. But there was something other-worldly spurring you on, whispering in your ear to just do it. And he was letting you. Was it wrong? Maybe, probably… but honestly, where was the harm in it? You were both obviously into each other, and as long as you were just making each other happy, you didn’t see anything wrong with it.

Besides, this new need to make him think about nothing but you at every single second was making your head spin, and you wanted his focus completely on you, right now. You moved to press your lips to his again, letting things naturally heat up so that you could continue on with your intentions. You took a deep breath, confidently removing yourself, and placing yourself in the floor in front of him. It was at this second that you were extremely thankful for your liquid courage, and the fact that you were too stoned to care about much else besides pleasing Josh. He almost made it easy.

“Ten.” Josh said out of nowhere.

“What?” you asked.

“I give your kissing a ten out of ten. Seriously.” He said, smiling from the corner of his mouth as he ran his hand along your arm, peering down at you as you kneeled on the floor.

You felt your face turn beet red, and you halfway didn’t really believe him.

“Stop playing, you don’t have to be nice.” You erred.

“M’not just being nice. Seriously, I rate it a ten.” He stated, and you knew by the sincerity in his voice that he was telling the truth.

“Wow. Didn’t expect that, honestly.” you pulled a few strands of hair behind your ear. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Now, you gonna finish what ya started, or not?” There was a darkness in his tone that you hadn’t noticed yet, and it made your stomach turn over with nerves. But even more so, it lit a fuse in your chest that was slowly burning, ready to explode at any given second. And with each passing minute, you wanted to impress him even more.

You maneuvered yourself on your knees, gripping his thighs and pulling them apart so that you could place yourself between them. Your hands stayed there on his legs, squeezing and kneading at his muscles as you moved your hands closer and closer to where you both really wanted them to be. You could almost physically see him getting harder through his dark jeans, and you could hear his breathing picking up, too.

You let your hands drift to his groin, squeezing the muscles there as he leaned down in his seat, giving you extra space as his head fell back on the cushions. You found the button on his jeans, pulling the fabric sideways and undoing the button with one hand and unzipping the zipper. “Damn, alright…” Josh laughed, holding his hands up. “Show off.”

You took that as a tiny win, and decided to keep it going, playing on his words from earlier. ‘You keep me guessing at every turn…’

You pushed your hair back behind your shoulders, and leaned yourself down, letting your mouth meet his boxer-covered dick. You nipped your teeth lightly at it, making him hiss. You could tell just from this little bit of contact that he was well-endowed, and you felt your mouth physically watering for him. You needed to taste him. Your lips bounced around, peppering little kisses all over… the indirect contact making his hips jut up a little.

You sat back, motioning with your hands. “Pull them down for me.” you demanded of him, and he gave you the sneakiest smirk, leaning back and pushing his pants and boxers down far enough to spring himself free.

You weren’t wrong. He was perfectly sized, and it reassured you that you were okay with going forward with this. What you did notice, though, was he wasn’t as hard as you wanted him to be. Your hands rested on his thighs again as you sized him up, licking your lips as you prepared yourself.

Josh had been the one urging you on all night, but suddenly, it felt like there had been a little bit of a shift. You finally brought your moistened lips to him, licking little circles around his tip, starting slowly at first, then picking up a little bit of speed. You swirled and gently suckled, and you felt him take in a big breath of air into his lungs. You glanced up at him, finding him looking up at the ceiling as he bit his lips.

“What’sa matter, Josh? You okay?” you pressed, knowing that you could stop at any second, if that was what he wanted.

“No, yeah. I’m fine. I’m sorry, I just… this is the first time someone else…since…” he didn’t need to say anything more.

“God, yeah. I’m sorry, your breakup is so fresh, I’m sure this is more mental than anything, for you…” you agreed as you sat back. “We don’t have to–”

“No. Yes we do, Y/N. I’m just…” You could tell Josh was having a hard time with his words again, for the second time tonight.

“Just what? You can tell me…”

He swallowed, placing a sweet hand on the side of your face. “This is the first time I’ve um…been…with a woman…in a very long time.”

“Oh.” You muttered, his sentiment catching you off guard a little. You hadn’t realized you never even asked the name of his ex, let alone any details about the relationship.

“But it’s okay, Y/N…” He smiled, letting his thumb brush your cheek. “I may be wallowing in my sorrows, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want this, want you to do this. Just…in my head a little bit.” He admitted, putting a hole through your heart.

You sighed. “It doesn’t feel wrong?” Your voice was tiny as it escaped you.

He quickly shook his head side to side as he layed back on his elbow behind his head. “No. That’s what’s making me freak out a little, it doesn’t feel wrong in the least.” He swallowed. “Maybe I…Maybe I wasn’t as in love as I thought I was.”

You smiled a pitiful smile as you rested your elbows on his knees, taking a deep, recentering breath of your own.

“You’re really fuckin’ pretty, Y/N.” He complimented you out of the blue, his thumb still grazing your cheek. “And I’m really into you.”

“You are?” You asked.

“Yeah. I know we said we’re friends, but friends can do this. Right? Doesn’t stop the fact that I’m attracted to you.” His glossy words made your stomach do flips again as you realized maybe his feelings were the exact same as yours. Unexplainable, but still overwhelmingly good.

“Yeah. I really think friends can do this.” You agreed. And you were serious. If you were going to be this person for Josh, then he could also in turn be this person for you.

“Plus, the feeling of your lips on my cock just now…” He laughed through his nose. “Might be in competition with your ten out of ten kissing. And you hadn’t even…” He stopped there, biting both his lips into his mouth as he slid his hips down again.

Good god, you’d hoped he would have a little bit of a dirty mouth.

“You want me to keep going?” You asked.

“Fuck yeah, I do. I gotta judge your skill, don’t I?” He played, removing his hand from your cheek and running it through your hair. He gripped it a little, making you stiffen your neck. Your eyes flashed to his, and you didn’t even need to say anything, he knew what you meant. He nodded, giving you the go ahead, and you prayed that he wouldn’t remove his hand from tangling up in your hair.

You slowly leaned down to him again, starting things up just as you had before. Your tongue swirled on his tip, wetting it in circles as you let the saliva build up in your mouth. Around and around you took it, descending further and further onto him with every rotation. You heard him breathe out, his hips shaking a little beneath you. As you got as far as you could get, you pursed your lips down, tightening them around the base of his cock before sucking hard, pulling up and off of him completely. His hand tightened in your hair, showing you that he was liking it so far.

He let out a groan, followed by a little laugh. “Fuck yeah, Y/N…”

You quickly found a rhythm, letting your head begin to bob as you worked your tongue and cheeks, alternating forceful suction mixed with light little pops of your lips. His hips were jutting with every movement, and the sounds that were coming from him were enough to keep you going, keep you striving to impress him…

You took him in your hand, gripping at the base and using the saliva that had dripped down as lubrication to move your hand, twisting and pumping it. “Jesus Christ, you’re…” You took a second to glance up at him, seeing his jaw tightly clenched and his chest heaving with labored breaths. He brought his other hand down, pulling the hair that had drifted down away from your face, pulling it all back to the nape of your neck and holding it tightly there. You nodded, letting him know you were okay with him guiding your movements.

“Mhm.” You hummed on him. “Show me how you like it.”

He let out a choke of breath and readjusted in his seat, spreading his legs wider for you. He gripped a little harder on your hair, pulling you up and across his stomach, your faces almost touching as he brought his mouth close. He didn’t say anything, just hissed through his teeth as he scanned over your face. He then used a little bit of force to push your head back down to where it was, and you resumed your work.

Fuck, what the hell is happening… your chemistry with Josh was absolutely off the chain. You felt like you would follow every command he would ever give you, let him use you in the worst ways, completely trusting him to do as he pleased. You were absolutely yearning to satisfy him.

“I’ll show you exactly how I like it baby, but this is your show, remember? You’re calling the shots…” he growled, his voice deeper and more grating than it was earlier. You shrugged one shoulder, replacing your hand around his base. You moved it up and down opposite of your mouth, making his whole body start to shake. Your tongue worked on him, as your mouth drifted down as far as it could possibly go, with the help of Josh’s light guidance.

The weed had contributed to your slow, languid movements while the alcohol made your inhibitions fly out the window… the beautiful combo of the crossfade sending you both into a blurry and slow-motioned entanglement. You swore you could listen to his noises and praises on repeat. “So fuckin’ pretty, Y/N… so fuckin’ pretty…” He mumbled, lightly thrusting himself into your mouth as your neck began to ache a little. “Slow and steady, just like that…”

He puffed out a quick breath with a blow of his lips, and you could tell that he was enjoying himself just as much as you were. Normally, you would finish up the job, and expect repayment, but getting Josh to even feel the tiniest bit of pleasure at your hand was enough. It was that draw, that need to make him feel good. Keeping him and him only in the spotlight. And if you had to guess, you were doing a pretty good job at it.

After a few seconds, his movements became jostled, and his once slow grinding movements started to falter. You felt him start to throb in your mouth, and you knew it wouldn’t be long until he was crumbling beneath you, all at the mercy of your mouth.

“Hey, you want me to–” he said, suddenly shuddering.

You nodded again, pleading with him to let it all go. You wanted the whole thing, wanted him to have the full experience. You needed to see what he tasted like.

His breath started to pick up as he gripped your hair tighter, his hips pushing his dick further into your mouth as you let him graze the back of your throat, tears pouring from the sides of your eyes. “Come on baby, come on… just a little bit longer…fuck…”

Finally, he was letting it all go, filling up your mouth as you swallowed his bitter-sweetness down, savoring the taste of him on your tongue. His whole body went rigid as he came, shaking and jerking as you worked to make sure not a drop was left behind. You squeezed your hand around him, pulling him up into your mouth. His whines were like music to your ears, pathetic and pitiful as he worked to come back down to earth.

“Son of a bitch, Y/N… that was…” he said as you sat back up, wiping your mouth off with the back of your hand. He caught your jaw in his grasp, squeezing your cheeks together and forcing you to open your mouth. He pulled you closer, bringing you in for a heated kiss that left you smoldering for him.

When you finally pulled away, you met eyes with him, and you could tell he was completely blissed out. “S’been a long time since I’ve had anything like that.” He admitted, pulling your back up to sit by him on the couch again.

He tucked himself back in his boxers but decided to forgo buttoning back up. “Really? Even in a four and a half year long relationship?” You asked.

“Ah, I dunno. We were long distance, so… it was few and far between but. Really I meant being with someone who actually showed passion about making me feel good. You know what I mean?”

You couldn’t help but smile. That was exactly what you wanted out of this. For Josh to feel that you wanted to be there.

“Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I just…wanted to make you feel good.” You admitted, shrugging one shoulder up as you brushed your disheveled hair back into place. “So, what’s my rating, huh? Give it to me straight.”

Josh closed one eye and looked up with the other as if he was thinking really hard. “Uh, nine and a half.”

Your mouth fell slack, and you felt the soreness in your jaw joints. “Ah! Why the half?!” You argued. “Not a ten?”

He chuckled. “Would be a ten, but I only took away the half because I know that I won’t be able to feel you like that all the time.” You both stared at one another as you let his words sink in.

Could you, though?

“And because I feel like you were holding back, a little. Weren’t you?” He pressed. His statement took you by surprise, because he was right.

“...Maybe…”

“You shouldn’t have. It’s just me, remember. Guess you’ll have to show up and show out next time. See if you can get a perfect ten.” He said with nonchalance.

“Next time?” You spat without a thought.

He shrugged, squeezing his hand around your thigh. “Sure, why not? If you want to, of course. Might be fun to have a little situation we’re both comfortable with… no strings attached type thing…”

You ran over the idea in your head, not really seeing anything wrong with it. You nodded, agreeing with his outlandish proposal.

“But, there is one thing, Y/N.” He swallowed, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. “Obviously I… um. I didn’t make you feel good, tonight. But, just give me some–”

You cupped your hand over Josh’s mouth. “Josh, honey, shut up. You don’t have to explain it to me. I understand, and it’s okay. If we’re gonna do this, it's all gonna be in good fun, right?”

He nodded from behind your hand. “Right.” He mumbled.

“And I certainly didn’t feel uncomfortable with you, so. I’m pretty positive we could just sit here and look at each other and we would have a good time.” You laughed, pulling your hand from his face. He caught your hand in his, and gave it a sweet squeeze.

“Not sure I’d be able to sit by you for too long without something happening. You’re a fuckin’ treat, Y/N. I swear.” His eyes traveled down your body again, and you watched his gears turn as his gaze drifted over your breasts. “Thank you, for tonight.”

“Thank you.” You whispered. “We still friends?”

He took your chin between his fingers. “Yeah. Good friends.”

As the air between you finally started to settle and the intoxication turned into sobriety, you realized that the night was nearly about to turn into morning. You didn’t have to be at work until 11, so you were going to be able to get at least a little bit of sleep before your shift tomorrow.

“It’s too late to get an Uber, Josh. Just stay here.” You more demanded than suggested, pulling the blanket from the back of the couch and tossing it overtop of his lap. You stood, stretching your body as you made your way toward your bedroom.

“What, you not gonna invite me to your bed?” He asked, throwing you off.

“Uhh, I mean, sure–”

“I’m kidding, Y/N. We’re friends. Friends don’t sleep in beds together. Friends sleep on couches.” You watched as he burrowed himself under the puffy blanket and made himself horizontal.

“Maybe one day you’ll end up in my bed.” You tossed the joke over your shoulder, walking down the short hallway.

“And maybe one day you’ll get a perfect ten.”

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blchrsworld · 5 months

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my heart just can’t be faithful for long | billie eilish x fem reader

synopsis. billie and you have been arguing constantly for some time now. after a night out, she starts an argument and you can’t take it anymore.

cw. arguing, verbal fighting, breakup, mentions of cheating, toxic relationship, angst

soundtrack. cry - cigarettes after sex

length. short

The night started nicely as Billie and you went out to party for one of your co-stars all up until a fight erupted between the two of you.

“It doesn’t fucking matter Billie – I never paid any mind to him once tonight!” With Billie following closely behind, you quarreled as you strode into the kitchen and angrily set your Chanel handbag on the counter. With an irate expression on her face, Billie placed her hands on either side of the countertop and said, "You are so full of shit." Her blue eyes met yours.

For almost four months, you and Billie had been having fights on a regular basis. Billie first accused you of cheating on her with your close friend, Jacob Elordi, who was also one of your co-stars in a recent film. Billie would obsess over the friendship, envisioning the worst case scenarios.

The relationship was not ideal because of long distance, especially since you were working on new tv shows and movies while Billie was working on her next album.

The anger that shot through you caused your face to flush, and you detested Billie for having provoked such a reaction in you over such a baseless accusation. Your eyes began to burn and well up with tears.

You confess in a nervous tone, concentrating on your nails to divert your attention from sobbing, "Billie, I can't do this anymore."

“What?” Billie asked in a sharp tone, glancing up at you as she noticed how exhausted you appeared.

When you lifted your head to gaze up at your partner of two years, you knew it was time to part ways. For now, anyway, until you two resolved your differences. You looked at Billie with a knowing expression in your eyes as a tear raced down your cheek and fell onto the dark wood countertop.

You could have sweared at that very moment that Billie's life was flashing before her eyes. She began to recognize herself and felt hopelessness creep in.

“No.” Billie spoke in an emotionless tone.

“Billie this needs to st-“

"No, no, no." Billie reiterated, at which point you sighed haltingly at her manners and closed your eyes, considering your next move and how it would affect your two-year relationship.

Your brain was warning you against giving in to her because, after all, she was the cause of the teary-eyed, restless nights. You now had a different perspective on yourself because of her. You were unsure if there was a problem with you for her to question your commitment. Although your brain was filled with a deep hatred for her, there was always a small part of you that could not help but love her.

Your heart.

That was the aspect of you that people noticed the most that was not physical. No matter how much your mind tried to remind you of the harm Billie had caused you, your heart was unable to stop loving her.

What made your heart explode was the little things about your relationship with Billie that no one else would see.

Like when she would lay her eyes on you, she would always have that sparkle in them. Or the fact that you would run out of room in your house when she would bring you flowers three times a week just because. She was always your plus one and never sought to usurp your attention, no matter what premier you had.

You walked around the counter and put your hand on hers, saying, "It's the right thing to do, Billie," but she withdrew her hand.

"It's Jacob isn't it?"

You rolled your eyes and scoffed at the remark, but you could understand her point of view and chose to stay calm. At last, her puffy red eyes looked up at you, and you croaked, "It's not him Billie, or anyone at all, it's the fact that you can't trust me anymore."

"I can fix it, we can fix it," Billie said, her eyes sad, as you returned the look with a shake of your head.

“I’ve tried — for the past four months already,” you retort with a distasteful look.

You were tired of Billie playing the victim and needed to leave this relationship.

You had never felt anything like this before, as your heart began to slowly break. Your chest started to fill with air more quickly than you could handle. You tried to knead your chest to ease the pain by placing your hand over your heart, but it didn't work. You had to leave Billie as the agony got worse and make your way to the living room.

It was when your body began to relax on the back of a couch that you broke completely. You silently started to cry, and you did so for what seemed like an eternity until you felt two arms encircle your shoulders and firmly grasp you.

Knowing it was Billie, you attempted to shake her off of you like she was a parasite, but your body was too weak from crying, so you just sobbed more in frustration when you realized there was no way to get rid of her.

“I’m sorry.”

You were filled with even more pain when she spoke those words, knowing that no matter how hard she tried to change things for the better, it would never work out. Although your thoughts strayed to all of your previous arguments and how mentally exhausted they left you, you still wanted to think that she could change for the better.

Billie withdrew and longingly gazed into your eyes as you sniffed, "You should go."

"I can't live without you Y/N," Billie vowed.

You cupped her face, wiping a tear from her cheek with your thumb, and said, "It's what's best for the both of us—you and I both know it."

Billie gazed into your eyes for a considerable amount of time, and for a long moment there was silence—it was like you two were communicating only by making eye contact.

“Goodbye Y/N.”

You refused to give Billie a glance and instead focused on your nails until you heard the front door close, which indicated that she had left.

You slept with a cold spot next to you and an empty mind after that, hoping that Billie would eventually own up to her mistakes and return to complete each other's lives...

#billie eilish #billie eilish x reader #billie eilish angst #fem reader #billie eilish x fem reader #angst #billie eilish imagine #blchrsworld

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matchesarelit · 9 months

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Imagine If You Will… (Trinkets, Spencer Agnew x gn!Reader)

Being in love with one Spencer Agnew was tortuous for all the reasons it was undeniable, he was kind and thoughtful to a fault. So how do you bury feelings like these? Badly and in a way more painful than you realize.

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Happy ending, primary school insults, heartache, Unrequited requited feelings.

Wc: ~2.8k

Permitting your legs to give out you flopped down onto the tiny couch, dramatically shielding your eyes from the harsh fluorescent lights. You released an exaggerated sigh to announce your entrance and two feet away, Spencer eagerly watched your performance, shaking his head at your regular antics a giddy smile danced across his lips accompanied by a giggled greeting.

Often growing tired of the plain nature of your own workspace, you often ventured to the gamer zone, as you called it, whenever you found yourself in need of a break. The variety of figures and art littered around the makeshift room was comforting, this was in part due to the presence of the man just a few steps away and his interests. Many hours worth of breaks were spent listening to explanations of his collections, his ramblings were comforting and the spark present in his eyes while Spencer spoke put a warmth in your chest. Looking at the man beside you as you did now, however, was something you had tried to avoid every time, and every time, you failed within seconds.

Peeking tentatively through a small gap, you studied every minute detail of his presence, hoping, begging your mind to commit it to memory. Dark curls sprawling in every which way caught the light like a halo. Inked sketches stretching out from beneath his sleeves coated him in his personality. Gleaming gemstones are trapped behind his wire frames yet still sparkle like stars in the countryside.

Although a supremely comfortable couch, for an office space at least, your favorite position to sit in his presence was nestled into his side at his desk. That placement however was not as comfortable as it seemed as it meant you were sitting on an old desk chair made of plastic that dug into every ounce of flesh it touched. Spencer's warmth was worth it nonetheless, the trance he put you in allowed your mind to drift; more often than not to a scene of the two of you curled up together lips moving in sync as your hands tussled through his hair. You'd fallen for him hard and fast over your first year at smosh, now six years later you still needed to wrestle your wandering mind away from such thoughts almost every time the two of you were alone. Over the years you had caught yourself fantasizing of spending your life with Spencer in all sorts of ways, all of which only managed to twist the knife in your gut, your own mind reminding you of the life you could never have.

You hadn't dwelled on these feelings for the whole time you'd worked together, Selena and Rock were a godsend as they pushed you into blind dates and nights out in an attempt to give you a reprieve. To their credit you'd been in a couple of relationships, one lasted just months but the other continued for a year and a half before he called it off in a cacophony of insecurity and accusations. Although Spencer and you had no history of romance, your status as best friends and hard-to-hide admiration for the man had wrought a bout of concerns from both of them and while they weren't entirely wrong the accusations had wrought an unshakable cloud that eventually tore both relationships apart.

In the aftermath of your breakups both Rock and Selena had held you as you cried, terrified you would have to choose between finding love and having Spencer in your life. As weeks turned into months, they grew more astute in their advice, urging you to end the suffering of not knowing, "If you told him how you feel you could make the decision, I know the thought that it might come to losing him is painful, but you can't continue this way. It's paralyzing you and hurting you in the long run."

It was a conversation the three of you had had time and time again throughout the years, it often left all of you in tears; you were terrified of losing him, and they were heartbroken witnessing your pain over and over.

Craning your neck from the arm of the couch you admired the back of his head; he'd recently let his hair grow out and your attention was continually grabbed by the way his curls bounced at his smallest of movements. At this moment however, a small blurry pink blob obstructed your view, shifting your attention to the small figure on the side table you noted a small piglet sitting atop a toilet while reading a newspaper.

An absurd snort left your nose as you brought it up closer to inspect it, the sound pulling Spencer's attention to you and the focus of your giggles. What was strange about the little pig was that he had been placed inches from where you lay your head in a place where no one who worked in the department could see from their desks, the toy was also angled to face you. Soon enough, as you moved to return the figure to its place Spencer spoke up, "I knew you'd think Chaddius was hilarious. That's his name by the way; Chaddius."

"I like it, it's very dignified and it suits him well."

"I-uh, I got him in a gatcha a few months back and found him again over the weekend and thought you would get a kick out of it, so I thought I'd put it there for you."

"Y-you put him here, for me? Spencer I-" mouth agape you looked back and forth between the small figure and the man above you.

"Well, you're in here all the time, and you said you struggle to have Knick knacks on your desk as you either get distracted or they get in your way so I thought I could brighten up the little breaks you spend in here." The awkwardness of his rambling passed you by as you sat dazed by the sentiment. You wasted no time in thanking him but finding it difficult to stop yourself you continued. "I love him. I do, but you should know I come here because it makes me so happy to hang out with you, being here is plenty bright for me, so you don't need to worry about me, okay?" he turned back to his computer a short "ok" leaving his lips before being followed by a whisper too quiet for you to hear.

The rest of your time there was spent in an uncommon silence before you left with a wave. Stopping by the bathroom on the way back to your department, you glared at yourself in the mirror before murmuring mockingly, "PlEnTy BrIgHt FoR mE... dOnT wOrRy AbOuT mE." Christ why couldn't you just leave it at thank you, he was being so kind and you felt the need to stop him. You knew his kindness came from friendship and your mind was already twisting it into something more and that felt wrong.

Are you really his friend? You clearly have ulterior motives that's for sure, but being completely honest if you saw him marry another girl, sure your heart would break but every other part of you would be ecstatic at his happiness. Does that make it better? or just more pathetic?

Jeez, this line of thinking was only ever going to hurt. Putting on your most aggressive metal music selection on your headphones, you sat at your desk and started to work, trying absolutely anything to stop your mind from returning to him for the rest of the day.

At the end of your workday, you moved to leave, Gluing your eyes to your phone screen you kept your head down as you speed walked past the game desks and out of the building.

Over the weekend, despite your inner conflict, you had settled on spending your breaks at your desk, perusing Instagram and Reddit threads. That only lasted about 5 minutes.

A Slack message lit up the corner of your monitor; "You okay?". This was unexpected, you always thought you were a nuisance, up till your last visit at least, that you were more of a bother than he let on, you never expected him to notice your absence let alone worry enough to ask you about it. Typing out a quick excuse a cringe of guilt twitching your face and closing your eyes as you hit send; "Yeah I'm okay, just chatting with Tommy and Rock, probably won't make it over today." You even hazarded a glace in the two men's direction where you had seen them earlier talking by the window. Feeling a slight discomfort at the lie you went to join them, hoping the conversation was one you didn't have to put a lot of thought into.

The rest of your days were spent in solitude, finding yourself dissatisfied with the company of anyone but Spencer you quietly slouched deeper and deeper into your chair as the hours passed you by.

Until the day of the third hide and seek.

At this point it had been over two months since you stopped visiting the scruffy gamer in his zone. You'd felt withdrawals for a while and had caught yourself walking almost all the way there more than a few times. Movement on the other side of the office tore your attention from Kiana as she announced filming was about to start, little above a blur as he scurried from his desk. Your eyes however lingered on the space. More specifically on the end table by the couch. The top of the dilapidated wood piece was consumed by dozens of figures. Some alongside Chaddius, animals atop a latrine. Some birds perched in various precarious yoga poses. All of varying sizes and colours yet all sharing one. notable. trait. Every single character was turned to face the couch. Your couch.

There were over 50 little dudes.

Well beyond fifty work days since you kept yourself at your desk.

More than five-zero days that that curly-haired gremlin king must have gently placed a new figure there.

Just.

For.

You.

To leave them lonely and purposely collecting dust. Just for you to leave him hangin. To leave him clearly missing your presence. But wait. I hear you say,Surely if he was missing you this much he would have reached ou-. He did though Didn't he? You were the one who left. You were the one who lied. You were the one who avoided him like the plague.

A hand jostling your shoulder broke your spiraling thoughts Tommy was eyeing you suspiciously from your side not stopping as he passed you. "Come on, there's thirty seconds." calling back as he strolled backwards towards the kitchen he continued. "And you're right by the way; what you were thinking. Silly plan my guy."

Leaning forward into a hurried scamper you rushed to find somewhere to hide, your clever spot and disguise long forgotten and much too far away. A hand shot out from the nearby cupboard pulling you to stumble inside. Following the hand, and connected arm up you met Spencer's pouting gaze. Mind still a haze the yelled countdown drowned out by the thumping of blood through your ears, you turned on the spot to leave the small space.

You never took a step, hand on the knob, feet refusing to budge. Casting a glance down you noted the boots that covered your own, the toes of his shoes pinned our own to the floor. The sight would be comical if he didn't look as defeated as he did, a new glistening shine visible in his eyes despite the darkness.

"Please. Don't."

"Spencer I-"

"You're avoiding me. Why?" his voice was harsh but that dissappeared quickly as he shuddered, dragging a forceful hand down his face, his features warped and spread the wetness that had quickly begun to pour down his cheeks. "You never come by on your breaks. You barely look at me in meetings and all but flee when I try to talk to you. Please just tell me what I did. I'll understand. I just need to know. please. I miss you."

"Spencer I- I- haven-"

"Yes, you have been. At first I understood you might be busy but week after week you never said a word to me. I noticed, Everyone noticed."

"He's right we all noticed"

Your jaw hung open as your eyes scanned the darkness, "Who-"

"God, now tell the truth! or feel my fur-" The voice fell into silence as voices were heard outside.

Taking a moment in the silence as the man in front of you was, for the moment, distracted by the game, you collected your thoughts before beginning in a whisper; "You're right, but you know that. I just couldn't let myself do it anymore. Every moment around you was torture, every kind act was a punch in the chest. It was getting worse and worse and I couldn't keep letting it happen. I hated it all."

Allowing yourself a breath you lifted your eyes from your shoes, and the sliver of light illuminating your shoes from under the door, to his eyes. A hurried gasp darted into your chest at the tears streaming down his skin, gathering to drench the neckline of his tee, you stuttered incoherently, frantic to calm his distress.

"That's not what they meant. Give them a moment." The voice, seemingly coming from above, soothed Spencer in a hushed coo before morphing into harshly spat mutterings directed at yourself. "Jesus Christ, tell him plainly you maniac."

"I'm in love with you." If your voice before was a whisper, this was the fluttering of butterfly wings in a thunderstorm, yet your tone remained even. "I've loved you for years now, I knew it was useless; you are so perfect you have this glow of joy and beauty that never leaves and I could never compare. I tried to stop loving you this way, I wanted to be the friend you thought I was. But every kindness was twisted into something more and my mind ran rampant. I felt-I feel disgusted by myself, You have always been nothing but an amazing friend and instead of treasuring what we had I couldn't help but dream of more."

"There we go"

"Yo-" He was interrupted by a sudden light that blinded the pair of you. His grip on you tightened at the shock, only softening as the new voice sounded through the space and your eyes began to adjust.

"Gotcha! Final ten and nine you guys" Arasha, the seeker, had found you yet as you resigned to leave the space at your loss you found the man inches away from you still, a shocked expression stained his cheeks until it didn't. Suddenly he was animatedly talking to the cast member about being upset at being found so fast and vowing that next time he'd win.

Prying your feet out from under his own you turned on your heel all but running from the space feeling more crowded than you ever thought possible. The hand that had encircled your arm fell to his side as you left him there, but he was not far behind as he jogged to catch up with you.

You burst through the door of the bathroom, stumbling to brace yourself against the sink chest heaving with harsh sobs as your cheeks were flush with tears. Hatred saturated your expression as you glared into the mirror, You cursed yourself for all that had happened over the last twenty minutes. Over the last two months. And over the last seven years.

Then the door flew open. Then there he was looking into your eyes. And How on earth could you blame yourself, not only did he look amazing even in the worst of situations, but here he was checking on you despite your-

No,

Stop that,

Stop thinking.

Listen to him his lips are moving,

He's talking,

dumbass.

"I can't believe we could have worked this out so much sooner. Seriously you think way too highly of me, There is no world where I buy 62 Gatcha toys and give them all unique names just for a friend, Not that you aren't a friend. I Just- Funnily enough, I felt the same way, thought I was tainting our friendship with my pining, But I also think it just makes what we have deeper, we know each other so well and care so much."

"Wait, what ar-"

"JESUS FUCK!" The voice from moments before was joined in a sort of chorus from the other side of the door.

the door opened crashing against the wall, a large group, presumably those already found, led by Jeremy, stood with a mixture of exasperated and laughing composures studying the pair of you over the threshold.

Jeremy alone continued; "Y/N You love Spencer in a-" The group behind him turned their backs arms stretching around themselves as they erupted in kissy noises. Jeremy mimicked those same noises as he continued, "In a mwehmwemme way and Spencer you love Y/N, also in a mewmwemwe way. Now kiss!" He stepped back and let the door swing shut with a slam, leaving the two of you more or less alone.

"Look, I'm sure they're just a bit carried awa-"

Your rationalization was interrupted by his lips against yours, the tension had boiled into an overflowing need. His silken lips left your own almost immediately as he wound his arms around your shoulders holding you tight into his chest. Wrapping your own around his chest your hands fisted his shirt as his did yours. All space between you was gone as you pulled each other impossibly closer, sitting in the silence you held back tears unable to shake the lingering stress and fear. Head buried in the nape of his neck you failed to remain silent for long, yearning to hear the words come from him, desperate for confirmation to quiet your racing mind, "Does this mea-"

"I love you, with everything I have, please never doubt that."

#spencer agnew x reader #spencer agnew #spencer agnew imagine #smosh imagine #smosh x reader #the chosen x reader

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zorosprincess · 25 days

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Accismus

PRONUNCIATION - Acis•mus | \əkˈsɪzməs\ DEFINITION - a feigned refusal of something earnestly desired.

PAIRING - Oikawa Tooru x Reader WC - 4.5K GENRE - Light angst, fluff SYNOPSIS - If you were to let him know that it was working, then your life would be over instantaneously.

MASTERLIST | NEXT PART

The first time that you met Oikawa Toru, you knew right then, in an instant, that you never wanted to see him again.

You'd been running late to watch Tadashi's first practice match on the college team. You'd made a promise to make it even despite the current tension between his best friend and yourself. Both you and the best friend had made a promise to him that your breakup wouldn't affect your friendship with Tadashi.

You had gotten stuck bringing extra water bottles since you were already running late. An unfortunate circumstance that had landed you where it had now, on your ass on the floor with bottles scattered around you.

"Woah there cutie," the smooth voice surrounded your ears and you saw him for the first time, the boy had just caused you to fall, "let me give you a hand?" His smile was too sweet in combination with how he bent towards you, one hand leaning on his knee and the other reaching out for you.

From the way his pretty brown eyes sparkled down at you to the way his silky curls bounced when he tilted his head, you knew immediately that you wanted no part of knowing him. But your hand was moving towards his on it's own.

Your fingers barely brushed against his own and you could immediately see him holding your hand a million different times. On cute dates, anniversaries, a whole lot of firsts, watching yourself fall in love with him easily, over and over again. His fingers were slowly wrapping around yours before you were abruptly interrupted.

"Senpai!" There was a shout from a couple different girls and your hand quickly snapped away from the boy in front of you to watch the commotion. Squealing girls that immediately begged for his attention, awestruck eyes staring up at him.

And, suddenly, all those moments that had flitted through your mind shattered right in front of you. You mentally watched it fall apart. The quick fallout, the tears that would stream down your face, the feeling of your chest tearing in two.

Your shook your head clear and used the girls as your distraction to gather your things again and quickly making your way inside. Praying to never see him again.

Of course, the world would never have been so kind to you. The second you watched him step into the gym you'd let out a soft groan of annoyance. You'd known instantly he'd be able to pick you out of the crowd if he'd try.

Unreasonably attractive boy who you had zero intention of ever speaking to. The one who tried to call out to you as you hurried out of the game when they were finished with their game. Calls of 'cutie' greeting my ears as his friends kept him with his team and you dutifully found your way to Tadashi outside.

The second time you saw Oikawa Toru, you were out with your best friend. Easily flitting about the shopping center with her, giggling over clothes and what would look good on each of you. Toshiko had just convinced you to buy a new dress and to swap the clothes you'd shown up in for the soft fabric that now brushed against the tops of your thighs as you walked.

"It looks so good!" Toshiko cried out as she pinched some of the fabric, smiling at you as she hauled her back higher up on her arm.

"Hey!" The shout from behind the two of you caused you both to turn your heads in curiosity. After seeing the culprit, however, you snapped your head back to look away. "I thought that was you, cutie."

You groaned lightly and tried to tug on Toshiko's arm to get her to walk faster. "Ignore him, please." You begged quietly as she only tilted her head in confusion, glancing between you and him.

"But he's cute!" She whispered back in exasperation, keeping us in place. You winced as you felt his presence stopping next to you.

"Amazing coincidence, us running into each other here right?" He smiled and you winced at how bright it was, rolling your eyes as he looked down at you both with a playful glint of his own. "Our conversation got cut short last time."

"Last time?" Toshiko questioned, looking back at you like you'd betrayed her. "You didn't tell me you ran into a cute boy, l/n."

You groaned almost immediately as the boy, now in front of you, started to speak. You cut him off. "It didn't get cut short. I left the conversation."

His smile only widened as he looked at me. "L/n's a cute name." You groaned as he ignored your comment, staying on his own track. "So, l/n-chan-"

You immediately stopped him. "Do not call me that."

"I just want to take you out, just once." You narrowed your eyes at him and turned around quickly, starting to walk away, whether or not Toshiko followed was her own business. "Awe c'mon cutie." You could hear his steps pick up to follow as he whined at you. "Just one date?" You ignored him and kept walking, rolling your eyes as he persisted. "Please, cutie?" You shot him the best annoyed look you could muster and smiled when you saw a few girls heading toward the three of you.

"Sorry," you muttered to him in fake sympathy before stepping back to watch immediately as the girls quickly surrounded him. He immediately couldn't help himself from being nice to them and you took it as your excuse to slip away.

As soon as he was out of ear-shot, Toshiko was all over the interaction. "You know that cute guy?" She asked, her voice squealing and you rolled your eyes quickly. "Oh my god, why didn't you accept his offer? He's so cute and charming. He thinks you're cute!"

"Toda, stop." You sighed and glanced over at her confused face. "That's just how those types of boys act. I'm not interested. Please drop it."

Toshiko sighed but relented in her teasing for the day. She quickly changed the topic and didn't even mention it when you knew that she caught you glancing over your shoulder at him, locking eyes easily through his crowd of girls.

You didn't have time to think much of him in the next few weeks, busying yourself with college courses and plots with Tadashi to hook up your two best friends. It wasn't until your plan had succeeded that you'd realized how much of your time had been taken up by trying to hook up Toshiko and Tsukishima.

The only time you'd even thought about the boy was when Toshiko threatened to 'give the cute boy from the other college' your number. But now, with your time suddenly incredibly freed up... you had nothing better to do.

You'd decided the easiest thing to do was to wander in and out of shops at the mall with different acquaintances from school. And every time, without fail, it seemed like you ran into him.

He, who insisted that you talk to him so you made a point to do anything but that. He, who insisted on adding 'chan' to the end of your last name. Calls of 'l/n-chan' always making you press your fingers into your temples and groan.

It seemed to you that he tried his hardest to annoy you every time he saw you. Trying his hardest to convince you to take him up on his offer for a date. Today was, surprisingly, no different. No different except for the fact that your 'friends' were watching from afar, taking up camp in the food court and making no attempt to help you.

"L/n-chan, come on." He whined, leaning casually on the railing next to him, smooth smirk gracing his lips as he tilted his head towards you. "Just one date please." You sighed and rolled your eyes again, wanting so desperately to leave. "L/n-chan wou-"

"Y/n." You cut him off, tired of the name he'd been calling you. His smirk fell and one nearly picked up on your face as he pulled a confused look across his features, head tilting to the side. "It's my name. You know, like how yours is Oikawa Tooru. Mine is l/n y/n. Not l/n-chan."

His mouth dropped open. All his smoothness seemed to have disappeared as he floundered to find something to say. You sighed and shook your head before turning to walk away.

You missed the whisper under his breath as you stepped away. "She knows my name." If you'd bothered to turn around, you would have seen him trying to fully process what had left your mouth. You would have seen the dopey grin on his face as he played with the sounds of your name on his tongue, as he swooned over how his name sounded on yours.

Maybe you would've even seen the gears turning in his head as he suddenly turned into a 12-year-old girl, imagining how Oikawa y/n might sound.

"You can't date him, you know." One of the girls said as you reapproached the group you'd been with for the day. You tried to open your mouth to reply, to assure them that it wasn't even remotely in your plan, but she continued on before you could. "You'd just break him, kinda like you did with Tsukishima."

You froze at the words.

Break him? Did you break him? No. He was fine, sure you didn't talk for a while but that was normal at the end of relationships. Right? Things just hadn't worked out, you'd grown out of each other, it was fine now.

"Isn't he dating Toshiko now? But he was always quiet, was he not before?"

You stopped listening to their conversation, letting them carry on at their own pace, your opinion not needed - or wanted - on the matter. Your fingers found their way to the necklace resting on your collarbones, dragging the charm back and forth across the chain easily as you thought.

You couldn't help the thoughts turning in your head.

Were you really scared Oikawa would break you? Or were you scared of what you would do to him? Either way, it was a good reason to stop going to places you would run into him.

It worked fine, your plan to stay away from Oikawa Tooru. Really, it did. Right up until you let Toshiko convince you to go support Kei and Tadashi during their official match against Seijoh.

You knew it was over the second that he locked eyes with you during warm-ups. Knew that you'd be hearing from him at some point during the course of the day.

You watched as the team you held dear to your heart slowly lost the game. The smug grin on Oikawa's face was enough to know he would be insufferable if you let him speak to you. And he was.

He was atrociously forward as he tried to catch you while you were grabbing Toshiko's things so she could go comfort Kei in his loss. It was easy to avoid him, really, his teammates trying to corral him as girls from all schools tried to fawn over him.

It was incredibly hard to want to hold your resolve to avoid him when he looked so incredibly attractive, high off of his win. He was so sure in himself and his team's abilities.

You knew that you couldn't ever admit it. Admit that he was wearing you down. That the constant attention and compliments he provided you with were getting to you. You knew that the second you admitted that you could fall for Oikawa Tooru, then your live would be over instantaneously.

As easy as it was to avoid him, you still found yourself in the stands after your team's loss. Watching from your hiding spot behind taller bystanders as Seijoh went against the infamous Shiritorizawa.

It was painful, to say the least, watching Oikawa's confidence falter as his team lost. Watching the irritation on his face as his team wore faces of defeat to mirror his.

You felt bad for him, you did, but you still couldn't let him talk to you. You'd already pressed your luck by sticking around, by removing the safety net that was your friends.

You blamed yourself, really, for the chain of events that happened next. Taking a back hallway with the hopes of avoiding any run-ins with Oikawa. How you'd run into a face you'd never seen before - an over-enthusiastic boy in a Shiritorizowa school uniform. A fan from the stands. A boy who couldn't take a hint, hovering over you, vulgar compliments leaving his mouth - anything but appealing as he cornered you against a wall.

You were quickly growing uncomfortable as his arm leaned on the wall near your head. "Come on, someone as pretty as you can't leave this place alone." He laughed loudly and you flinched from the sound. "Come home with a winner." You winced as you saw his hand moving closer to your arm.

You waited for the contact that never came. "You weren't even on the team. Honestly, taking credit for someone else's win? How pathetic." Oikawa's voice sent a wave of relief through your body. His hand was still mid-air in front of you from where he slapped the other boy's hand away. "Why don't you find someone from your own school to stroke your ego." Oikawa's harsh words were coated in sugar as he smiled at the offender. His arm slung around your shoulders casually, like it belonged there, and pulled you into him. "Now run along, she's spoken for."

The boy in front of you rolled his eyes violently. "Whatever," he scoffed, turning on his heel, "not worth the effort." You grimaced at the implication but trained your eyes on your own feet.

"Thanks, Oikawa." I whispered, not moving, still frozen in place, taking in the heat he was giving off.

"You can call me Tooru." You didn't have to look up to know he was smirking down at you.

You simply sighed and nodded. "Right, thank you." You sniffled lightly and stepped away. He, surprisingly, didn't protest as his arm fell from your shoulders. "See you around." You barely made it a step away.

"Why won't you give me a chance?" His voice was quieter. Not whiny like it usually was when he begged you for a chance. It was a genuine question. "Honestly, am I that bad? So bad that you want nothing to do with me?"

You didn't know what made you do it. What made you turn around and look up at him. But you knew what made you speak... the genuine search for an answer written on his face. You sighed and let your shoulders fall.

"Listen, Oikawa." You turned your head so you didn't have to see him, but you could feel his eyes burning into the side of your face. "I know what I'm like." It came out quiet, and it was a miracle that he'd even been able to hear you. But the hall was dead quiet, no one but the two of us.

"I know what you're like and that you have options. So," you took a large inhale and held your breath, "even if I was interested in you, even if you really are interested in me right now. One day you won't be anymore." You shook your head lightly, your fingers twisting the trinket around your neck again. "I don't wanna have to deal with that one day." It was like when you started talking that you couldn't stop.

You felt like your pauses were too long but for all you knew they could have only been a millisecond. You could have been speaking a mile a minute and you wouldn't have known. Wouldn't have heard over the sound of blood rushing into your ears to the beat of your heart.

"I know that the second I let you know that your stupid charm works on me, that you so effortlessly can wear me down, my life will be over." You sighed deeply, rubbing your hands over your cheeks. "Everything but you would cease to matter as much as it does. Please, I don't need that."

The silence in the hallway was deafening. You couldn't even know if he was still there, refusing to turn and look. Your nerves felt like they'd been set on fire, painfully burning away one by one.

"Give me a chance." Your head snapped up so that you could watch him with inquisitive eyes. There was no smile on his face, no teasing glint in his eye.

"Listen," it was his turn to sigh, "I know how I come off." He shifted awkwardly on his feet, a change from the graceful movements you were used to seeing from him, and his hand came up to scratch at the back of his neck. "But all I'm asking for is a chance. Just one." He gave you a hopeful half smile. It was awkward on his face, boyishly charming.

Fuck.

"I swear I'll try my hardest to never hurt you. That's not what I want. Not ever."

"Oikawa," you started but he cut you off, again.

"Please. I just," sigh, "I can't get you out of my head. So just, one chance." He was dangerously close to begging, genuine begging, and you winced at the implications of what that meant for your resolve. "Just one chance, please. One date. And if it's awful and you never want to speak to me again then I'll leave you alone."

He stared at you, hopefully, and you could feel your resolve crumbling, like an old wall that he'd just laid his hand on, pulling pieces down. Fuck.

"One date." You watched his smile widen immediately and your eyes widened a bit in fear. Oh god... What had you done? "Only one date Oikawa. And then you leave me alone."

"It'll be the best date you've ever had!" You glared at him as he perked up. "Cross my heart!" He snapped a dopey smile on his face and threw his hand on his chest dramatically.

You sighed and shook your head in defeat. "Friday." He nodded enthusiastically as you rattled off your address. "God don't let me regret this." You muttered to yourself.

"Could I walk you home?" He asked excitedly.

"No." You sighed as you started away from him finally. "I'll see you Friday."

The week that followed passed by excruciatingly slow. You didn't tell anyone about the date with Oikawa. Not even Toshiko. Especially not after Karasuno's loss to Seijoh. It felt wrong. Honestly, especially with how excited you actually were to see Oikawa.

When Friday finally came around, you couldn't help but feel happy all day. There was a giddiness consuming your demeanor through your classes as you got closer to being able to go home.

You couldn't stop fidgeting with your hair, your clothes, your jewelry. Nothing felt perfect. And you kept feeling like he was late, but every time you looked over at the clock to prove yourself right, you weren't and he still had plenty of time to appear.

And appear he did. Five minutes early. A quick knock on the door that you probably answered way too quickly.

God did he look good too. He was out of his school uniform, in nice jeans and a button up. There was a sly grin on his face as he pulled flowers out from behind his back.

"Wow." You laughed lightly, warmth flooding across your skin as you took the flowers. "Really pulling out all the stops?"

"Hey," he shrugged and mirrored your laugh with a soft one of his own, "I only have one chance to convince you to give me another date." You failed miserable at pushing down the smile that creeped across your lips at his effort. "If we could, m'lady."

He half-bowed and gestured his arm out for you to walk down the stairs first towards where his car waited at the curb. You rolled your eyes as he opened your door for you but couldn't help the happiness that clouded your head. Maybe he wasn't all bad.

Actually, he was nothing but sweet and genuine all night long. He excitedly talked about his interests, starting with volleyball (of course) and spouting off into other topics. You heard the pride in his voice when he spoke of his nephew and listened to how he loved his friends. And he always, always, made sure to ask about your interests - assuring you that he was listening with a genuine sparkle of interest in his eyes whenever you feared you might be talking too much.

You knew he'd done it before the night was even over. Knew that he'd slipped under your skin and made his home there. Knew that he'd ended your life that easily. Erased the importance of everything other than him.

You hated him for it. Except... you didn't. You couldn't hate him, not one bit. Not even when you were staring at him in disbelief as he walked you to your front door again, rambling about aliens. You were laughing along with him, genuinely laughing and he was beaming about it.

"How about," you started, pausing in front of your door to turn and face him fully, "the next time we do this, I get to choose where we eat?" You were smiling as you watched him freeze, his face contorting through a million emotions as he processed your words before settling on excited.

"I get another date!?" he exclaimed, wide-eyed and smiling.

"Hmm," you hummed in faux consideration, "why don't you ask me?"

You let a soft smile quirk at your lips as he cleared his throat and slapped on one of his charming smirks. "L/n y/n, would you do the honor of going on another date with me?"

"Yeah," you laughed softly at the formality of it, "yeah I'd like that, Tooru." You smiled as he beamed at you, in awe. "So," you drew out the vowel of your word, glancing at your feet as you spoke the next, "you gonna kiss me goodnight too?"

He laughed heartily and wrapped an arm around your waist, easily pulling you to collide with his chest. Your hands rested against it steadily, one of his arms holding you in place by your waist while the other hand tilted your jaw up softly.

His kiss was nothing but sweet. Lips soft and warm against your own. He was all-consuming.

You went inside on a high that day. The dizzy feeling only fizzing out when you hit your mattress for the night. The high that was the feeling of being absolutely wanted by someone who you wanted too. Of being absolutely wanted by one of the most wanted men.

Suddenly, as you hit your mattress, the feeling was calmed by the reminder of what the girl had said to you mere weeks before.

You're just going to break him.

The giddy feeling washed away by the reminder that you'd be disowned if your friends knew. If they knew you let him take you on a date once, let alone that you're doing it twice.

So the sneaking around began.

It was easier than you thought, really, to hide him and your relationship from your friends. Most of the places you two frequented together weren't any places that your friends would show up. His friends seemed to warm up to the idea of you being around quickly too. Once they realized that you could snap Tooru out of a funk faster than even Iwa could, they basically begged to have you around more.

It took Tooru a whole month to officially ask you to be his girlfriend, wanting to show that he was serious about you. But then only one week after that for you to wind up with a new piece of jewelry around your wrist, a small 'T' dangling from the chain. And only one more after that for him to start sporting your initial around his own neck.

It felt like it was a whirlwind. Like every day you fell in deeper. All-consuming.

You hid it well. You both hid it well. Right up until Karasuno's match against Seijoh for the spring tournament.

It had taken Iwa, Mattsun, and Makki to pull Tooru away from your giggling form in the back hallway. Him trying to convince you to give him his 'good luck kiss' before the match. Your playful refusal threw him into a whining fit that had Iwa threatening to punch him if he didn't get it together.

In the end, the whole fiasco had resulted in you giving him a kiss anyways. And in you being late to meet Toshiko in the stands on the Karasuno side. Something that Toshiko wasn't letting go.

"Where were you?" She stared at you warily as you shifted in your seat. "You're not usually late to things."

"Oh." Your eyes flicked over to where Tooru was standing on the court, a small smirk crossing his lips when he caught you looking. You brought your attention back to your friend as quickly as it had strayed but your fingers fidgeted with the charm on your bracelet.

"How long?" Her voice came out irritated and you nearly jumped in shock as you met her gaze. You tilted your head in confusion and she let out an irritated puff of air. "How long have you two been dating?" She nodded her head to where your eyes had just lingered, where Tooru was practicing sets, and you sighed in defeat.

"Almost four months."

She nearly shrieked but quickly regained her composure, not trying to draw attention to the two of you. "Are you fucking kidding me?" You winced as she seethed the words out. "I thought you hated him."

"I tried to." You sighed, upset with yourself as you finally confided in your best friend. "The first time I saw Tooru, I knew I never wanted to see him again. I knew what would happen if I did." You groaned and let your head fall in your hands.

"I signed my death warrant Toshiko, I know I did. I know boys like him. I know he'll leave me one day. They never stay." You tried not to look at her, knowing she was looking at you with pity.

"Even if he does leave one day though," you dragged your eyes up to watch him on the court, his eyes immediately finding yours with a proud smile after landing a particularly perfect practice serve. A smile carved its way onto your own lips, "I can't help it."

You looked at your friend and her features were softer now as she watched you. "I'm so goddamn head over heels in love with Oikawa Tooru."

a/n hiding things from my bestie? could never be me. i talk too much.

TAGLIST - OPEN @tsukiran @awkwardaardvarkforever

#oikawa fluff #oikawa toru fluff #oikawa x reader #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa fanfiction #oikawa toru fanfiction #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #𓇻 Desiderium

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hughesluv · 11 months

Text

Maple Syrup | Luke Hughes

luke hughes x fem! reader even months after the sudden breakup with you, luke cannot escape the reminder of you everywhere he looks. aka, two times he thought of reaching out to you and the one time he did. (words: 1.4k)

a/n: first ‘angsty’ writing and its dedicated to @hearts4hughes!! i’m most likely going to make a part two for this. (warnings: angst, alcohol consumption, blood, underage drinking)

⋆୨♡୧⋆

Luke stared at the photo on the wall. It was taken on your one year anniversary. The night started off at a very fancy restaurant and ended at a carnival. After leaving the restaurant, a ferris wheel with colorful lights caught your eye. You and Luke both scurried a few blocks down and stepped foot into the noisy carnival. He remembers walking around the fenced in area, dressed way too fancy, and following you around like a lost puppy.

“Luke, can you please win me that teddy bear?” You asked. Pure excitement sparkled in your eyes. He scratched his neck, not necessarily wanting to spend money on a rigged game, but then again, not wanting to disappoint you. Your eyes lit up like a child as he nodded and handed the worker money. He left the game about $30 short, but with a brown teddy bear in hand.

You cherished that teddy bear like it was the most valuable possession you owned- and it might’ve been.

He smiled at the memory. It had been the first time he had smiled since the breakup; however, his serotonin boost was short-lived and he was brought back to reality.

You and Luke had broken up.

You were no longer his.

He had lost you.

It confused him as to why he was so sad. He was the one who broke up with you. He was the one who suddenly (and randomly) broke your heart. He was the one who thought he didn’t need you; thought he would be perfectly fine without you. And ironically, he was the one who needed you more than anything in the world.

He pulls out his phone, fighting the urge to text you and tell you how much he misses you. He types out the message and his thumb hovers over the send button. He wants to send it; god, he needs to send it. So what’s holding him back? Luke himself doesn’t even know the answer to that.

Finally, his thumb presses down on the screen. Not to send the message but to delete it instead. He tosses his phone on the bed and exits his room before he thinks of another impulsive thought.

⋆୨♡୧⋆

Stepping out of the shower, he walks towards the semi-foggy mirror, leaving transparent footprints everywhere he steps. The mirror reflects back Luke with just a towel covering his waist and a scar that adorns his muscular bicep on his left arm. Yet another reminder of you that he cannot escape. He closes his eyes to stop the memories from flooding back, but he can’t.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” You ask, admiring the view from the hill that outlooks New Jersey. You take another swig of the tequila bottle that sits in the cup holder of your car. What once was your secret outlook was now Luke’s too.

Hockey was kicking his ass. He knew it and as much as he tried to hide it, you saw right through him. His insecurities and stressful job were drowning him, but he was too scared to ask for help. He wanted to confide in Jack but he also didn’t want to seem like a baby. Hockey was his job and he was in the NHL now, he couldn’t act like a ‘cry baby’.

That’s what all collectively contributed to you calling Luke on a late Thursday night, asking if he wanted to accompany you on a drive.

“It really is,” he accepts the liquor bottle from your hand and takes a sip. The moment was perfect. It could’ve been straight from a romcom or a romance novel, but no, it was real.

Luke turns his head so he can admire an even better view. You notice him staring at you from the corner of your eye and a smirk tugs at the corners of your mouth. “What are you staring at, pretty boy?”

Red floods his cheeks at the new pet name you’ve given him and he’s suddenly glad the car is too dark to illuminate the blush.

“I’m staring at my beautiful and perfect girlfriend,” he gushes.

You stifle out a giggle, “you’re so cheesy.” To which he responds, “you love it.”

Suddenly, you open the car door and exit the vehicle- making sure to take the alcohol. He’s surprised at your sporadic behavior. Nonetheless, he follows you out of the car where you are spinning around and dancing to the music inside your head.

“Dance with me, Lukey!” You say, holding your arms out and dancing freely. He stays leaned against your red car, a toothy smile slapped on his face and utter entertainment in his eyes.

“You’re insane, Y/N Y/L/N.” He laughs and you stop to stick your tongue out at him. You continue throwing your arms around and shaking your hips in random motions.

“Yeah, but you love it,” you mock his previous words from inside the car, “and these hips don’t lie!” It’s now obvious to him that the tequila has finally hit you. He chuckles in response.

Due to your dancing, your palms are now sweaty, causing the liquor bottle to slip out of your hands and smash on the ground. The shattered pieces scatter around the grass, while one flies towards Luke. Thankfully, it misses his face and only slices his arm. A string of curses leave his lips as blood starts dripping from the wound.

You gasp, “oh my god, I’m so sorry Luke.” You scramble over to him to inspect his cut, “I really didn’t mean to. I was just dancing and it flew out of my hand randomly, and-”

He interrupts your nervous rambling, “it’s ok, baby. ‘S only a cut.”

“No it’s serious,” you insist, grabbing his hand and leading him back into your car. You pull out the first aid kit from your glove compartment and begin cleansing and covering his wound. “You’re too pretty to be hurt.” You frown. He grins at your words, moving your hair away from your face and pressing a soft kiss to your nose.

Right there and then, Luke knew he was never ever going to love someone like how he loves you.

⋆୨♡୧⋆

It had been a hard night. The second Jack told Luke he saw you out with another man, he broke down. He tried to play it cool, not wanting to have a mental breakdown in front of his older brother; however, when he entered the privacy of his room that’s when the tears started pouring out.

You had already moved on? Sure it had been a few months but Luke spent every single day since the breakup thinking about you. You were tattooed on his mind, haunting him, and taunting his shattered heart.

He sat hunched on the foot of his bed. His hands were covering his face, trying to stop the floods of tears that were now staining his shirt.

It was like experiencing heartbreak all over again. Somehow, it even felt worse. Did you call your new boyfriend babe or lovie? Did you wear his clothes like you once did for Luke? Did you share the same late night confessions and secrets that Luke heard first? Did you love him?

His mind raced with thoughts ridden of pure insecurity and jealous. Why was he so naive to think he didn’t need you? He was blinded by his career and stress, causing him to make irrational decisions. You were the glue that held him together, the drug that he got addicted to, the magnet that kept pulling him in.

As his sobs came to a rest, he sat breathlessly on his bed. He scanned his room. It used to be so bright. You’d bring him flowers to display on his desk and various articles of your clothing would decorate the floors. Now the only article of your clothing left in the dark room was your oversized purple sweater.

The day you came to pick up your things from the shared apartment, you discarded the sweater onto his desk chair and forgot about it. He hadn’t noticed you left it until after you were gone, but he didn’t have the heart to text you and make you come back, so it’s been left untouched since.

He tried to look away from the purple pullover but the siren spell you placed on it made it so he couldn’t. Under a trance, he rose to his feet, walking towards the colorful material. He picked it up, bringing it close to his nose and letting your scent fill his nose.

Luke couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t sit around moping and expecting you to come back. He needed you, and he was going to do something about it.

To Y/N/N !!

You left your purple sweater here. I found it in my closet and thought you’d want to know. I can drop it by if you want :)

#hughesluv #taylor’s writings 📷#hockey imagine #nhl imagine #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes #luke hughes imagine #luke hughes imagines #new jersey devils

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chiaraanatra · 3 months

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Falling Like This

Request: Hey love! I was listening to “Sure Be Cool If You Did” by Blake Shelton and immediately thought of sending you a request! Could you write something based on this?! 😘 - @callsign-viper

Summary: After everything that happened (reuniting with you, watching you break up with your boyfriend, and training at Top Gun), Jake decides to go after what he wants. Or the one where Jake falls madly in love with you all over again.

Warnings: alcohol mentioned, a little grab ass, kissing, fluff out the ass, nicknames (Stinger, Honeybee, pretty girl, darlin'), pilot!reader.

Word Count: 1k

AN: Well it took almost a year and I apologize for that! At first, I thought this would be a prequel to Break Up in a Small Town but it turned into a sequel. I think this is a more loose interpretation of the song but I'm happy with how it turned out. Thank you so much @callsign-viper for these requests I had so much fun with them. 💜

For parts 1 & 2 of this accidental series: pt 1: Cop Car || pt 2: Break up in a Small Town

《 m.list || ao3 》

Jake 'Hangman' Seresin POV

God, you were beautiful. You were always beautiful, but there was something about the way your outfit hung on your frame perfectly and how the neon lights from the bar signs made you glow. If looks could kill, Hangman would have been a dead man.

He had told himself that he was going to take things slow, have a drink or two, and get reacquainted after a few years of not seeing each other. Not long ago he had a front-row seat to your decently shitty breakup and you were both going through the stresses of Top Gun training.

But here you both were, sitting at a high-top table across from one another. One drink turned into a few, one hour turned into several, and Penny had just shouted last call.

Have we really been sitting here all night?

He watched as you dragged your finger along the rim of your empty glass, “Pretty sure Penny’s gonna kick us out soon.”

"Yeah." His next words came before he could stop himself, "Is it wrong to say I don’t want this night to end just yet?" He wanted to blame his boldness on the alcohol, but the last drink order was an hour ago and you were both pretty sober.

Thankfully you appeared to be feeling just as bold, “Who said it has to?” It had been a little bit since you broke up with Tom. You and Jake had been spending more and more time together and everything felt like it was falling into place.

A signature grin was plastered on his face, "Whatcha have in mind, Honeybee?"

A smile made its way onto your lips at the nickname. He loved the way the name fell from his lips and seeing your reactions. You had always been his Honeybee. It had started as a joke, a play on the callsign given to you at the academy. Stinger: precise and direct, making a "beeline" to the point regardless of the sting. But Jake had known you since high school and you were still the girl that he could easily embarrass, melting like sweet honey in his hands.

Your eyes darted to the picturesque view of the beach contained within the Hard Deck's back window. "Up for a little walk on the beach?" He could hear a slight bit of apprehension in your voice.

Without a word he stood up, holding out his hand to lead you towards the exit. On the way, he placed cash on the bar for Penny. You stopped at his truck leaving your shoes behind and he watched as you made a beeline for the beach.

Jake took a moment to just watch you, how the moonlight danced across your skin. After a minute, he couldn't stand that he wasn't closer, couldn’t stand that he wasn’t touching you, holding you, kissing you.

He snuck up behind you, arms finding their way around your waist. He picked you up effortlessly and spun you around. You both couldn't help but laugh before he set you down. His hands made their way to your cheeks, taking in every detail of your face. Jake could swear your eyes sparkled when you looked at him.

Before he got a chance to ask, your lips were on his, arms snaking around his neck pulling him closer. Your lips were soft and warm, sweet like honey. His tongue dragged along your bottom lip as if to ask for permission. Without hesitation, your mouth opened, and your tongues danced with one another. Jake all but wanted to devour you in that very moment.

With bated breath he backed away slightly, wanting to share the thoughts swimming in his mind. "I wish I never let you go… We could have made the distance work…"

You ran your fingers gently through his golden locks, interrupting his spiral, "Hush. What matters is that we're here now. Together." Your touch and words put him at ease while simultaneously creating a fire within him.

Without a word he lifted you up, one arm caressing your lower back, the other supporting your legs. You gave him a questioning look. "Jake..?" His only reply to your inquiry was a devilish smile, quickly making his way into the water. "Seresin!" Now the two of you were completely soaked and laughing like fools.

"Common darlin'," his Texas accent was more prominent, "a little water never hurt anyone." he switched his hold on you, wrapping your legs around his waist. His next statement came from nowhere, but he just couldn't help himself, "What if I just dropped you right now?"

“Jake… You wouldn't dar-" Jake didn't let you finish, releasing you from his grasp. He watched as you fell into the crystal blue ocean, knowing that you would have done the same to him if you were in his position.

He wasn't wrong, so it was surprising that he didn't anticipate your next move. You came up from behind, jumping on top of him which effectively caused him to fall into the water himself. When he got his footing back, a splash of water hit his face. The sounds of your laughter and crashing waves were like music to his ears.

He pushed back his wet hair before holding his hands up in the air. "Truce?"

You moved in closer before wrapping your arms around him, "Truce."

One hand moved into your hair while the other found purchase on your ass. The warm Pacific waters enveloped you both as your bodies melted into one another. Jake pulled you in for another searing kiss, this one more frantic than the last, all tongues, teeth, and hands. If he had it his way, this is how the two of you would spend the rest of your lives, heated kisses and close bodies.

Jake pulled back, taking in your dazed look and the want in your eyes. He pressed his lips to the top of your head before whispering, "How about I get you home, pretty girl?"

"Only if you promise to stay." When you looked up at him, Jake swore that you would be the eventual death of him, a death he would gladly welcome with open arms.

"I think we can make that happen."

As always, feedback, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

Taglist: @callsign-viper @luckyladycreator2 @saturnsbabe69 @desert-fern @pono-pura-vida @djs8891 @dempy

𝑊𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑎 𝑏𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑔𝑒𝑑? 𝐿𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 💜

#top gun #glen powell #jake “hangman” seresin #top gun maverick #jake seresin #jake seresin x you #jake seresin x reader #jake hangman imagine #jake hangman x reader #jake hangman x you #hangman seresin #hangman fanfiction #hangman #hangman x reader #hangman imagine #jake hangman seresin #hangman x you #top gun hangman #viper 🐍

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niyahniyaa · 1 month

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Imperfect Love: If it isn’t you

* Seungcheol x Reader

* Tags: au, fluff, exes to friends to lovers?, angst, heartbreak, open ending

Taglist: @hi-cherrymatsu-chan @saranghaohoshi @brownsugarbaybee @belladaises @cherrycherryboom @sofix-hc7 @scuzmunkie @xmoonvibes @x-killerqueen

If you aren’t here that’s means I couldn’t find your name. I’m sorry.

•

(Habit playing)

“Cheollie”. He heard your voice before he opened his eyes. It’s a beautiful morning, he could tell by the rays of sun shining through the curtains. He looks over to meet your eyes. He could see sparkles in them, as if the galaxy resided there. “Good morning Jagiya”. He said cupping your face with a strong hand. You smiled at him softly and leaned in to kiss him. “I love you”. Seungcheol said after you pulled away.

He doesn’t know what prompted his boldness but he knew he had to tell you. “Cheol you don’t-” you’re cut short by his sudden shift in position. He sits up in order to fully face you. “I’m sorry if it seems so sudden, but I’ve loved you since I laid eyes on you.” He takes a deep breath, reeling in his nerves before continuing. “I know we’ve only been seeing each other for a month now but I wanna be with you.” He says, grabbing your hands to pull you up.

“I love you and…,” he hesitates, “I wa-, no I need you in my life.” He stares at you intensely hoping to get a shared response. “I love you too Seungcheol.” You say softly. It was true, you fell for him almost immediately. You loved the way he spoke to you. The way he looked at you. The way he treated you.

Every little thing he did with and for you never went unnoticed. You cheese at him basking in the love you felt for this man. He suddenly leans in to kiss you. It’s deep and passionate. Seungcheol hasn’t felt this way about someone before and he’s certain he’ll never feel that way for anyone else ever. “I’m all yours Cheol. It’ll always be you.”

He wipes his face awakening from his dream. Looking to his side, he falls into himself suddenly drawn to the realization of your absence. It’s been a year and a half since the breakup, and all he could think about was you. Why couldn’t he let you go? It was his fault his life collapsed on him. It was his fault he could no longer hold you in his arms. He shakes his head groaning in disappointment. Who was he kidding? The answer was simple. He still loved you.

He loved the way you cared for him. The way you talked to him. The way you lit up whenever he would walk into a room. He missed you and you would’ve been there with him if it wasn’t for his stupid fucking mistakes! He should’ve just been honest! Should’ve told you about the messages, about Nayeon coming onto him. He should’ve told you… everything.

(End of song)

——————————————————————————

“Coming!” He yells, getting up from the couch after hearing his doorbell ring. He hurriedly runs to the front door, unlocking and swinging it open. His jaw drops when he sees you standing in front of him. “Where the hell have you been?!” He snaps, eyes holding yours with a dark gaze. “Seokmin, I’m so sorry!” She sighs softly trying to lighten the already suffocating tension surrounding the two.

It’s Y/n. Seokmin hadn’t seen you in over two weeks. He had been your rock during your separation with Seungcheol and you were doing great after you moved out. However you disappeared like two weeks ago with no word to anyone. Even your parents hadn’t heard from you. “Come in, you’re not a stranger”. Dk points out with a shake of his head, as if he needed to remind you.

After you come in, Dk quickly throws his arms around you. He holds you tight, something he knew you needed. Something he secretly needed himself. He wanted to stay angry at you but the feeling dissipated as soon as he seen the worn down expression on your face, he knew you needed him right now.

Seokmin finally pulls away and gestures you towards the kitchen. “Want a drink?” He asks opening his wine fridge. There’s a lot to catch up on and Dk can’t wait to hear your explanation for the disappearing act you so graciously pulled.

He opens the bottle and pours you a glass. Pink Moscato, he knows it’s your favorite. “I missed you Seokminnie.” You say after taking your first sip. He shakes his head and starts to pour himself a glass. “I thought you forgot about me.” He says sipping from his drink. It’s been a while since you’ve spoken to each other. You never go without talking to him, but for some reason you cut communication with almost everyone for an entire two weeks. It was really blowing his mind.

Dk, being the understanding man that he is, gave you your space. He didn’t want to pester you and complain about your lack of communication. Though he does wish you would’ve answered the many calls he’d given you. “I didn’t forget about you Dokyeom,” you start, “my head was all over the place and I just needed time to myself.” You reassure him. He just nods and takes another sip of his drink.

He’s happy to see you, but thinking about the time that’s gone by without a call back, makes him upset. “I love you Y/N. I really do and you know that, but I really wish you would’ve at least let me know that you were ok.” He confesses, not looking at you. “I was really worried when you stopped answering my calls. I thought something happened.” Dk retorts, now running his hand through his ginger colored hair.

He knows he’s being a bit dramatic, but you never go without speaking to him. “You could’ve sent a text or email, hell even a letter. Something to let me know that you were alive and well, your parents were worried sick.” He finishes, pouring himself another glass. Not letting it slip how scared he also was for you. He finishes his drink in a single head toss.

Putting his glass down, he looks up to see you staring down at your glass. He’s studying you, trying to figure out what could be on your mind. Lots he would assume. You look tired, burnt out. He can see slight bags under your eyes like you haven’t been sleeping well lately. Your hair is also pushed up into a sloppy bun on the top of your head.

“I’m sorry Best”, you say, finally gathering a few words, “Our anniversary passed last month and he’s all I’ve been thinking about and then there’s been work and Cheol’s parents! I just-” you stop yourself with a shake of your head. “It’s no excuse, you’re right Minnie I should’ve called you, should’ve communicated more.”

He stares at you intensely. He knows you’re going through a lot right now, he could definitely relate. “I’m sorry, I know there’s a lot on your mind right now.” Dk remarks pulling you into another hug. You hold him tightly, letting a tear or two drop on his exposed shoulder. “I’ll do better with my communication, I just-“ your voice cracks, “I just need you right now.” You tell him, your voice noticeably shakey. He pulls away and wipes your now flowing tears. “I’m here.”

——————————————————————————

It’s Tuesday morning and Seungcheol feels as horrible as he felt every other day. He walks into his office with his head down and quickly lays across his couch. I shouldn’t have had that drink. He says to himself. He’s been drinking a lot since the breakup, even more since your anniversary recently passed. He can’t stop beating himself over the head. If only I would’ve gone home sooner. If only I didn’t drink so much. So many what ifs and no changes.

The thoughts spun in his head continuously. He hears a knock at his office door snapping him out of his stupor. Mingyu pops his head in after a second attempt without getting a response. “Hey Hyung, how you holding up this morning?” He asks walking in. He’s holding a glass of water and a few pills for Seungcheol’s head. It’s become a routine at this point. Seungcheol sits up and grabs the much needed medication from Mingyu, quickly tossing the pills back.

“I’ll be fine.” Seungcheol snaps as he stands up. Mingyu rolls his eyes and grabs his arm to help steady him up. “You’re lucky we’re friends Cheol, cause I would’ve knocked you on your ass.” Seungcheol sighs and runs his fingers through his now blonde hair. “I’m sorry Gyu,” he apologizes, “I didn’t sleep much last night.” Seungcheol runs his hands along his suit to straighten himself out. “What else is new.” Mingyu scoffs breathing in deeply. “You ready now?” He asks beckoning Seungcheol towards the door. “Yea let’s go.”

~~•~~

The meeting seems to be going well. The new group that debuted last year, Enhypen, are doing great in sales. “I think it’s time to plan a tour.” Seungcheol says from the head of the table. “The sales from your recent album has been great and we could all really benefit from an international tour.” He looks to the groups’s manager and slides a folder in his direction. “Read over the details and let me know if you’re fully prepared to begin preparations.

There’s a few side conversations and then a voice speaks up. “I think an International tour would be a great idea.” Seungcheol looks up at the voice, a frown already making its way onto his face. Nayeon is smiling widely at Cheol from her seat. He hasn’t spoken to her since the incident. She stills works under him as the VP of Marketing, and he would’ve fired her as soon as possible if she wasn’t so good at her job. Plus he hasn’t had much time to try and find a new VP.

“I’ve been seeing many fans of theirs all over social media and international fans are definitely longing for an appearance.” She states with a grin. Just that smile makes him furious. He just nods his head, taking in her info. “As VP,” she continues, “I have lots of fresh ideas to promote them more in the West.” She beams proudly. Suddenly she stands up and walks towards the head of the long table. As she reaches him, she hands Seungcheol a folded piece of paper.

He looks at her weirdly as he grabs the paper from her hands. Why couldn’t she just email it to me? He thought to himself. “Great, I think we’ve gone over pretty much everything correct?” He asks looking around the table. Everyone nods, while gathering their papers. “Awesome, thank you boys for your hard work so far,” he says bowing at the group, “and thank you to everyone else for your input, let’s keep up the good work.”

With that he starts for his office. Once he’s inside, he remembers the paper Nayeon recently gave him and opens it. “What the fuck.” He thought out loud. The paper is just some printed out picture of Nayeon. On the top is a small note, “I miss you Cheollie”, it read. He shook his head as he massaged his temple. What the fuck is the matter with this gir?.

“Something wrong?”

He looks up to see Nayeon almost right in front of him. When did she walk in? Her head is tilted and she’s gazing at him deeply. He rolls his eyes and looks past her. His office door is already closed shut. “What is your problem Nayeon?” He questions to her. She walks around to his side of the desk and rubs his shoulder.

“You’re a free man last time I checked,” she whispered by his ear. I hope it was worth it. He could hear you words on replay in his head. “Stay the fuck away from me Nayeon, I want nothing to do with you.” He snaps with a glare. Standing up, he walks towards his door and opens it slightly. “Jeez Cheol why do you play so hard to get?” She asks rolling her eyes, walking from behind his desk. “Stop calling me that!” She ignores him with a huff and continues. “I couldn’t have done all that work for nothing.” She sighs dramatically throwing herself onto his couch.

What? All what work? “What are you talking about?” He asks now walking back towards her. She scoffs and sits up. “Get real Seungcheol, you didn’t think you were that fucked up off of a little “mixed drink” do you?” She questioned him. He had three drinks that night. They were pretty strong last time he remembered. “I’ve seen you down cups of the strongest liquor and still come out fine.”

She’s right. Seungcheol has never been a lightweight when it came to drinking. It really does take a lot to get him drunk. “What did you do?” He asks stepping closer. She just grins slightly and crosses her arms. “I just slipped you a little something to speed up the process while your back was turned.” She confesses. “You should keep a better eye out for your drinks.” She giggles in a mocking tone.

His head is spinning. He knew those drinks were unusually strong, not to mention he could barely remember making his was to his office. Even Mingyu was alarmed by how quick he got drunk. “You fucking bitch!” He yells not even trying to hide his anger. “You better be fucking with me.” He threatens, grabbing her by the arm. “No one is gonna believe you Cheol, especially her.” She says through a chuckle. “It’s always gonna be my word against yours.”

*Cough*

They look up simultaneously to see Mingyu standing by the door. “Um, you have guests here to see you.” He says staring intensely at Nayeon. Seungcheol clears his throat before letting her go. “Yes of course thank you.” He says fixing his suit. Nayeon pushes her hair behind her hair and winks at him. “See you around Cheollie.” She says walking away.

Mingyu watches her walk past before turning his gaze back on him. “How much of that did you hear?” Cheol asks with a raised eyebrow. Mingyu shifts and sighs deeply giving his boss a pained look. “All of it, but we’ll get to that later. I was serious when I said there’s someone here to see you.”

Seungcheol shakes his head still in disbelief at the bomb Nayeon just dropped. “Who could be that important Gyu?!” He questions with a frustrated huff.

“Aww Coups, that isn’t any way to greet old friends now is it? I swear we taught you better than that.”

——————————————————————————

“Do you think she’s dead or actually sleeping?”

“I think if she was dead her chest wouldn’t be rising and falling. Use your brain dumbass!”

“You guys are so mean to me. I show nothing but love to you both!”

“If you guys really loved me, you would shut the hell up!” Y/N groans sitting up in bed. You’re greeted with three smiling faces staring back at you. Seungkwan, Seokmin, and Soonyoung stand next to the bed looking very much like creeps. “Oh my god!” You gasp finally realizing who was standing in front of you. “Oh my god! Seungkwan when did you get back?” Your voice cracks as you hop out of bed jumping into one of your closest friend’s arms.

He returns the hug happily, squeezing you just as tight. “Dokyeom called me of course. You haven’t been okay my love. The real question is why haven’t you called me yourself?” He pulls back from the hug wiping the fallen tears from your cheeks.

You really couldn’t believe he was here the four of you haven’t been together since college graduation and that was eons ago. You did try to meet up every couple of months but one of them were always busy and couldn’t make it, so seeing him again, seeing them together it truly moved you to tears.

“I’m so sorry Kwannie it’s been so much happening.” You sigh cupping his hands in yours.

“You think if we left for months on end she’ll greet us like that?” You roll your eyes with a chuckle turning to look at Hoshi. “I missed you too Soonie. How could I not?” You ask with open arms which he immediately reciprocates, pulling you into a tight hug.

You turn to look at DK who stands there like a proud dad. “I’ll accept thanks in the form of NEVER ignoring my calls again please and thank you.” He announces loudly. You shoot him a mocking smile while pulling away finally.

“Sooo, we going out tonight or what?” Soongyoung blurts out. We haven’t all been together like this in a long time, so going out doesn’t seem too bad actually. “Yea why not,” you retorted, “there’s this club that’s supposed to be really fun not too far from here.” You finish, grabbing your phone off the bed.

“It’s 6:30 right now,” you say looking down at the time, “I’m gonna take a shower and then we should be out the door by 8:30 at the latest.” You say throwing your phone back down. The guys instantly roll their eyes and huff loudly. “Jeez best, you don’t think you could take any longer?” Dk asks rubbing his fingers through his hair.

“Shut up Dk, you’re lucky it’s not longer.” You say grabbing his hand to pull him towards your room door. “Now go wait downstairs for me guys, I’ll be down soon.” You say ushering everyone else out. “Wear something sexy!” Seungkwan calls from the hallway. You shake your head and chuckle lowly. With that you head for the bathroom.

——————————————————————————

The club is actually more occupied than you thought it would be. It’s called Moonlight, and like its name, it is really beautiful inside. There’s various lights in small areas of the club and the moonlight seemed to shine right through the glass ceiling. “This place is such a vibe.” Hoshi says pulling his phone out.

“How about we grab a table before we’re trampled out here.” Seungkwan says pointing towards the various available tables. You shake your head and grab his arm, pulling him closer to you. “I booked us a section before we left so we’ll be more comfortable.” As many people as there are in here, it’s a good thing you called to book a section. “Smart,” is all he says before cupping his ears.

There’s people screaming loudly to the music right by you guys. You’d think someone was here performing as loud as it is. After what seemed like forever, you finally find the club’s manager amid all the chaos. You tell him your name and he ushers you towards your section. “Could we get three bottles of your strongest liquor please?” Dk asks sitting down.

You look at him sideways and shake your car keys. Not only do you need to drive home but you have an important meeting in the morning. The last thing you need is to be piss drunk at the end of the night. “Oh come on y/n, live a little”. Dk says standing up and walking towards you. He grabs your shoulders and levels with you. “Besides it was your idea to come here in the first place.” He grabs your keys from your hand and places them in his pocket. “I’ll be our chauffeur for the night.”

The man finally makes his way back to our section. He’s carrying a bottle of Bicardi with him and a few shot glasses. Dk quickly grabs the things from him and began to pour you a shot. “You worry about having a good time and letting loose.” He says, throwing one of his own back. You sigh deeply and take the shot right after him.

“Whatever you say best.” You retort sitting down.

——————————————————————————

It’s been about an hour now and you’re pretty tipsy at this point. “I think I’m gonna go to the bar and get some cherries.” You tell the rest of your group. You actually like cherries a lot now. Mostly since you’ve tried it once with Cheol. You can’t help but want some whenever you’re drinking nowadays. Plus they help ease your hangovers the next day.

Reaching the bar, there were generous amounts of people already there sipping on their own drinks. “Excuse me”. You yell slightly over the music and conversations. To no avail though, it’s like the bartender could hear nothing over the noise. You try yelling again but like previously, it didn’t work.

“HEY SHE NEEDS HELP HERE!” A voice yells from next to you. You turn to meet the chest of a tall man. He’s staring down at you with a full smile, his hair falls beautifully down his face and that’s when you realize who you’ve bumped into.

“Jeonghan!?” You exclaim loudly throwing your arms around him. He giggles and hugs you back tightly. It feels like you haven’t seen Jeonghan since college. He’s really close friends with Seungcheol, so you only saw him whenever he hung out with him. Still, it feels amazing seeing him now after these years.

*Ahem*. You turn to see the bartender standing impatiently on the other side of the bar. You pull away from Jeonghan and bow slightly apologizing to the man in the process. “I’m sorry sir,” you start, stepping closer so he could hear you. “I would really just like a small cup of as many Cherries as you can give me.” You say with pleading eyes. He stares at you in disbelief then finally sighs and walks off.

He returns quickly and hands you the cup gently. “On the house.” He says sizing you and licking his lips. “You’re hot, have a nice night”. He says walking back to the other end of the bar. You scrunch your eyebrows before turning your attention back to Jeonghan.

“How you been lately?” He immediately asks meeting eyes with you again. I’m sure he’s heard about the breakup. I would be surprised if he didn’t. You smile at him with eyebrows raised. “I’ve been alright actually. ” You lie, why did you lie? Denial maybe.

“Well I heard about the breakup, I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” He admits pulling you into a hug. It was one of those much needed hugs. One of those reassuring hugs that had so much love inside. You needed it. “It’s alright hannie really. It’s in the past now.” He pulls away and fixes himself. He grins widely and leans in to fix a loc of your hair.

“So what brings you here?” He asks gesturing around the club. “I’m here with a few friends of mine actually,” you say gesturing at your section not too far from where you stand, “a celebratory reunion if you wanna name it.” He looks in the direction your facing and stands on his toes to find you friends.

“Oh I can see Dk from here, figured you guys were still friends.” He says waving to get his attention. Dk sees him and quickly returns the gesture. “Yea can’t even remember how many years it’s been for us now.” You admit. He turns back to you and grabs his cup that he’s been babysitting from the counter.

“What about you,” you start, “how you been?” He shrugs and smiles widely. “I’ve been great honestly, can’t complain.” He looks as if he wants to say more. “Josh and I got together a few months back.” He exclaims, cheesing boldly. Finally. As far as you’ve seen in the past, they’ve always flirted quietly. I don’t think they thought anyone noticed, but you definitely did.

“It’s about time!” You slightly shout. “I’m so happy for you guys.” You playfully shove him and he falters back grinning widely. He looks past you and then locks eyes with you again. “Well I better get going. I don’t wanna keep him waiting.” He hugs you tightly and gives you a small kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you around ok, it was so great to catch up to you again.” With that, he walks past you and disappears into the sea of people.

——————————————————————————

“You don’t think you should slow down?” Josh asks Seungcheol. He was at least on his 10th shot at this point. It’s not like it was something light either. Although he is known to hold his liquor very well, Josh was still really worried about him. “I’ll be fine Josh, do you know who your talking to?” He retorts a little sloppily.

“You will never believe who I ran into at the bar.” Jeonghan says excitedly, coming back with Joshua’s personal drink. Everyone looks up at him with wondering eyes. “Who?” Joshua asks taking a sip of his drink. Jeonghan drums a small drumroll on the table and smacks his hands together. “Y/n!” He exclaims smiling, showing all teeth.

Seungcheol’s head quickly shot up at almost an instant. “Did you say y/n? Where? Where’d she go?” He asks loudly all at once. He walks over and grabs Jeonghan by the shoulders and looks him in the eyes. “Where did she go?” He repeats. Jeonghan just points and fixes himself after Seungcheol lets him go.

“She said she was here with a couple friends”, he begins, “she said they were here for a little celebratory reunion.” He finishes and began pouring himself a drink. Seungcheol walks away from their section and looks around the club. There’s just so many people here, no way he could make you out within this madness.

He walks back to his section and stands atop a small step that peeked out by the booth. He looks both ways multiple times, but to no avail. Suddenly his heart picked up its pace. It was like he was seeing a ghost or something. Like the entire room stood still and there was no one else inside.

He sees you. It’s surreal almost. Like the entire world stopped spinning all at once. Your section just so happened to be near great lighting and he could make out you features easily. Your hair was black. Very black actually. Your silver jewelry complimented your skin so well. He could see that you were wearing that tight black dress that showed off your figure beautifully. He always loved how that looked on you.

You seemed happy. He could see you swaying lightly to the music and laughing with your friends. Should I speak to her? It’s been a while honestly and he didn’t know how you would react to his presence. Just then he saw someone approach you from the other side of your section. Some tall guy with dark hair. He watched as the Man sparked conversation trying to get your attention.

What was he telling you? He asked to himself. You don’t seem interested. Even Seungcheol could see that. Maybe it’s because he knows you. He’s studied you for years, of course he knows. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the guy finally walked away. He walked right past Cheol, bumping him roughly.

“Watch where you’re going Dick.” The guy yelled at him. Seungcheol looked back quickly at the man. Now that he was closer, he could easily tell the man was drunk. “Just keep moving guy, you bumped into me.” Seungcheol said trying to find you. You’ve disappeared since the man stole his attention. “How about you apologize asshole!” The man yelled sloppily.

Now he was annoyed. He can’t find you and it was this guy’s fault. “What the fuck is your problem dude!?” Seungcheol started, vividly frustrated. “Get the fuck out of my face before you really piss me off!” He finished, balling his hand into a fist.

“And what exactly is gonna happen huh, you gonna hit me? I wanna see you try!” The man tested. Seungcheol quickly stepped forward about to give the man what he asked for, but was stopped by someone grabbing his arm. “He’s not worth it Cheol, come one let’s get out of here.” Jeonghan said beckoning towards the door.

Seungcheol breathed in deeply and stepped backward. “Fuck you man, go get some help.” Seungcheol said to the man while walking away. The man just flipped him off and walked away, bumping into someone else and starting the whole dispute over again.

——————————————————————————

“I’m alright, I’m here with my boyfriend anyways.” You said to the man asking for your number. He smelled strongly like alcohol. Then, as if on cue, Dk shouts slightly to get the guy’s attention. “That’ll be me guy. Now if you don’t mind, we’d like to enjoy our night out.” He said calmly. It’s as if he’s practiced this exact conversation before. The man scoffed loudly and turned to walk away.

“Thank you best, I hate when that happens.” You say walking towards him. You stumble a little bit but Hoshi quickly catches you. “You ready to go now?” He asks, concern in his voice. “Yeah, yeah we can go.” You mumble. No way I’m already drunk, you thought to yourself. Hoshi then swings his arm through your own to help hold you up.

As you make your way through the crowd of people, you hear a familiar voice yelling almost over the music. “What the fuck is your problem dude!?” Is it-no it couldn’t be, what are the odds. You think again to yourself. You brush away the thought and continue making your way to the front door. As you step outside, you hear someone call your name. “Y/n?” You turn around and finally you see Joshua. He’s standing by a car, it’s his you assume.

“JOSH!” You yell out excitedly. You stumble to him and fall into his open arms. He giggles at your sudden actions. “Had too much to drink I see.” He says. “It was a HELL of a month.” You exclaimed, making an excuse for your multiple drinks. It has though, getting over Cheol seemed to be so much harder than you expected.

“I’m gonna get her home now”, Dk starts, cutting you from your thoughts, “she’s a bit much right now.” He says hoisting you over his strong shoulder. Joshua just laughs and nods his head. “Trust me I absolutely understand, it was great to see you again y/n,” he exclaims turning back towards the car. “Make sure you get some rest.” He says quickly before you disappeared from view.

——————————————————————————

“WAS THAT Y/N?!” Seungcheol asks running up to Joshua a few minutes later. Moments before making his way through the crowd and out the door, he could slightly see Joshua talking to someone. It looked like her, he’s sure it was her. “Yea she was pretty messed up so her friend took her home.” Seungcheol runs his hand through his hair and sighs deeply and loudly. How the fuck did I miss her again? He thought to himself. “Let’s go hothead.” Jeonghan calls to Seungcheol, snapping him from his thoughts. He rolls his eyes and gets inside the car. Fuck this day.

~~•~~

The next day, Seungcheol wakes up to a ring from his phone. He looks at the caller ID and sees that it’s Mingyu.

Mingyu- “Cheol I’m outside your place. Answer your door.”

Seungcheol- “I just want to be left alone today Gyu, I’m not in the mood for anything or anyone.”

Mingyu- “So you don’t want to talk about what happened at work last week. We’ve put it off long enough, I think it time we talked about it.”

Seungcheol- “Fuck I completely forgot about that crazy bitch. I’ll be down.”

Seungcheol quickly gets up and throws on a T-shirt. He didn’t have work today so he’s been pretty much lounging around all day. Reaching the front door finally, he opens it to a grinning Mingyu. He’s holding up a bag of food. “Stopped and grabbed your favorite Ramyun”, he started, “figured you’d like it on a day like this.” He walks in and heads right for the couch.

Seungcheol sits in the seat beside Mingyu and began opening his food. “So what exactly did I walk into the other day huh Cheol?” Mingyu questions. Seungcheol slurps some of his noodles and looks up at Mingyu. He grabs a napkin and cleans his face before speaking. “She came to my office to push up on me again. I honestly think there’s something mentally wrong with that girl.” Seungcheol exclaims. Mingyu nods his head in agreement.

“Then she openly admitted to drugging you that night.” Mingyu shakes his head and rubs his temple. Probably contemplating his next words. “So what now, are you gonna somehow talk to y/n, she deserves to know Cheol.” Mingyu remarks. Seungcheol sighs deeply and gets up. He walks into the kitchen and opens his liquor cabinet, grabbing one of his strongest bottles. Grabbing a glass, he throws his head back in frustration.

“She won’t talk to me Gyu.” He begans, finally pouring his drink. “I doubt she would even look my way.” He says drinking his whole glass in a single head toss. Mingyu just shakes his head and rolls his eyes. “You don’t know that bro, have you even tried to reach out to her?” Mingyu questions. She’ll for sure ignore me. It definitely looked like she was over me. It’s too late, I know it is. Seungcheol thought to himself. He didn’t even want to test that theory. He was too afraid of her rejection.

“Cheol, I think you need to get out of your head and test your luck,” Mingyu starts again. “You never know, she may miss you the same way you miss her.” He sighs deeply. It’s been so long. He misses everything about you. “How about you take a few baby steps.” Mingyu snaps Cheol from his thoughts. “You know where she works correct?” He didn’t. You transferred to a new office a few months after the break up.

“I tried that Gyu, she transferred.” He says, in a defeated tone. Mingyu sighs. He’s genuinely trying to help his friend. He hates seeing him this way. “We’ll figure this out Cheol. You guys’ll be back together and happy before you know it.”

God I hope so.

——————————————————————————

“I think that’s about it.” You say to the cashier behind the register. You were at the Market buying some groceries for your house. “Will you be using cash or card?” The cashier asked, peeking from behind the register. You show her your card just as your receive a call.

Unknown. Who’s calling from a blocked number? “Thank you.” You thank the cashier as your payment approves itself. As you finally make your way to your car, your hear it. “Y/n?” That voice again. You quickly turn around to see…Cheol? “Um hey Seungcheol.” You give him a slight smile as you shift on your feet.

“Hey, how you been?” He asks reluctantly. You shrug your shoulders and sigh deeply. “Better actually.” You were telling the truth this time. You’ve been trying not to think too much about him and it’s been working. “What about you, how’s work? You been taking care of yourself?” You ask him, tilting your head.

He reaches back and scratches his head. Shrugging his shoulders, he begins. “For the most part I guess, and work’s been work.” He sighs and grins at you slightly. It’s quiet. Awkwardly quiet. “Well it was nice catchi-“ You were suddenly cut off by his voice. “Could I possibly take you out to dinner or something? Just you know, we could catch up properly that way.”

Dinner? Your eyes find his and you finally get a good look at him. His face is so bare. His eyes were a little heavy, like he’d probably been crying recently. Those lips. His hair was blonde now and much longer. A few strands hung over his face. Has it been that long? God I miss him but does it have to be tonight? “It doesn’t have to be tonight, maybe this Friday?” He says suddenly cutting your thoughts short. How the fuck? “Yea sure, Friday.”

He grins widely, surprise danced on his face. “Great, um great that’s uh great.” He says nervously. You chuckle to yourself. Great, just as you were beginning to heal, you thought to yourself. “I guess I’ll see you Friday.” You say now grabbing your car keys from your purse. You unlock your doors and start to load up the few groceries you bought. “No way, I got it.” Seungcheol says taking the bags from your hands.

JUST GREAT. He closes your back doors and steps away. “So yea Friday. Yay!” He laughs awkwardly to himself and turns away. You smile slightly as you climb into your car. “See you then, drive safe.” He says just before you pull away. You wave to him and drive off.

——————————————————————————

“Yay? What the fuck was that?” Mingyu asks once Seungcheol reaches his car. “Jeez I know don’t remind me.” He says smacking himself in the forehead. He looks over at the now empty parking spot that your car previously occupied.

What are the odds they’d run into you. “I thought she moved to the other side of town.” Seungcheol raises an eyebrow. You did move so what made you come all the way to this market. “She probably had business on this side of town.” Seungcheol said shrugging his shoulders. He couldn’t help but become curious as well though. He just brushed the feeling away.

“She agreed to go out with me this Friday.” He says excitedly. Just then he remembered, “Shit I don’t have her new number.” Grabbing his phone from his pocket, he quickly unlocks it. He pulls up her old contact, and he’s sure she changed her number. He’s tried calling it multiple times in the past. “It’s green Gyu.” He flips his phone showing Mingyu.

“Well no shit Cheol. She has a new number, we just discussed this.” He says rolling his eyes. “She might be on Instagram again, you should check.” Mingyu suggests shaking his phone. Seungcheol opens Instagram and finds your profile. Sure enough, your account was active again.

Your profile was different though. What once was a picture of you and Seungcheol together is now a picture from your trip to New York. He scrolls down to your new posts. She’s beautiful. Wow. He thought to himself as he stare at a recent picture of you. As he scrolls further, his phone is slipped from his hands. “Here I’ll find her.” Mingyu retorts. He looks at the screen and then back at Seungcheol.

“Now give me my phone back ass.” He says snatching his phone from Mingyu’s hands. He feels a slight vibration as he’s grabbing it. Looking down, he sees that he accidentally liked your post. “DUDE WHAT THE FUCK?!” He yells smacking himself on the forehead. “This post is like three months old.” He says staring wide eyed at Mingyu.

“Shit sorry Cheol.” He says through a chuckle. “At least you found her though right.” Seungcheol just shakes his head and smiles lowly. “You’re unbelievable dude.”

——————————————————————————

“COME ON DUDE JUST THREE MORE!” Dk yelled. He was at the gym with one of his new friends. They met not too long ago here at the gym. “Shit bro, that’s the last time I do that after a hard workout.” The man says after jumping down. Dk walks to the small bench and grabs his water bottle.

“A bet is a bet bro, even The Kim Mingyu couldn’t make it through Seokmin’s Muscle Trial unwinded” he says smugly. Mingyu dabs at his neck with his towel. “So any plans for tomorrow?” Mingyu asks Dk as they head for their lockers. “Well I did have plans but my bestfriend rescheduled on me for her ex.” He says rolling his eyes. Mingyu nods his head taking in the info.

“Well you could come over for a few beers tomorrow if you want.” Like Dk, Mingyu was supposed to hang out with Seungcheol but he had that date with you. “Yea I’ll come over, you seem desperate,” he retorts through a chuckle. Mingyu just pushed him and then started to gather the rest of his things. “Whatever, I’ll see you then bro. Get home safely.” He yells to Dk as he heads out the locker room.

——————————————————————————

“Yea a dinner reservation for two, I called two days ahead.” Seungcheol says to the woman at the front desk. She nods her head without looking up at him. “Name please.” She says whilst typing frantically. “Seungcheol, Choi Seungcheol.” He shifts from foot to foot. “The lady looks up at the mention of his name and stares in awe.

“Oh yes Mr. Choi, I’m so sorry uh, right this way.” She says stepping out from behind the desk. She leads him past a huge dining room area and into a more secluded section of the restaurant. “Here you are.” She gestures to a chair for him to sit in.

“A waiter should be right with you soon, again I’m so sorry.” She apologizes before walking away.

A good 15 minutes goes by before he decides to call you. God I hope she didn’t flake on me. I definitely wouldn’t blame her though. Please don’t flake on me. He grabs his phone from his pocket and calls Mingyu.

Seungcheol- “Dude it’s been 15 minutes. What if she doesn’t show up?”

Mingyu- “Give her time Cheol, she just may be running late.”

As Mingyu spoke, he sees you. The woman from earlier is with you. For some reason though, he can’t move. To say you look amazing is an understatement, ethereal if he should name it. Your wavy hair was off to the side with a clip holding some hair up on your left side. You were wearing a long black dress with a slit that revealed your bare leg.

He sees you thank the woman and walk towards the table. “Uhhh I’ll call you back Gyu.” As you get closer he can see you’re wearing the anklet he got for you a couple years back. No way she still has it. Small hearts hung on different parts it. He saw you point it out at a store once and got it for you as a present. “Sorry to keeping you waiting.” You say as you get closer.

Seungcheol quickly stands up and pulls your chair out. “No it’s ok, I was a little early anyways.” You scoot your chair in as he takes his seat again. A waitress then walks towards your table with two menus.

After explaining the specials, the waitress pulls out a note pad. “Could I start you off with something to drink? Wine maybe?” Seungcheol looks up at you and instantly lock eyes. God she’s beautiful. “Uh two glasses of Chardonnay please.” He’s says not breaking eye contact. “Yes sir.” The woman nods a walks off.

——————————————————————————

“Oh my god I can’t believe you remember that.” Seungcheol laughed covering his mouth. It seemed to be going well with you guys. You’ve been enjoying yourself and Cheol looks rather happy. “It’s hard not to remember. How could you possibly mix shampoo up with Nair.” You chuckle while taking a sip of your drink. “Be thankful you caught on before you used too much. The laughter dies a little as you take in each other’s company.

You’re both quiet now, finishing your food. “I missed you y/n.” Seungcheol says breaking the silence. I miss you too, so much. You say to yourself. “I hate how things ended with us,” he continues, we both did things that were wrong but that doesn’t mean-“ his sentence was cut short.

Both?! What the fuck did I do? “Wait both? What did I do exactly?” You question staring at him deeply. How could he say that? He’s the one who cheated. “You pushed me away.” Is he serious? “Uh yea after you cheated on me with your coworker.” He sighed and turned his head away. “Fuck I’m sorry Y/n really. I wish I could take it back but I just can’t.”

He turns his head back to you and makes eye contact. You quickly look away. Tears are welling up in your eyes, why? Memories of your times together flood your mind. Fuck why couldn’t it just be the way it used to be. “Why didn’t you say something to me when it first started Cheol? Why didn’t you cut it short when it first started?” You blurt out loudly.

“We were happy Seungcheol. Everything was so perfect.” You wipe your eyes and brush your hair behind your ear. Get yourself together Y/n, it’s in the past. He reaches out and grabs your hand. “I hate myself for how I handled the whole situation. I should’ve said something earlier.” He had tears in his eyes. There was vivid remorse behind them but you just couldn’t shake your own feelings away.

“Hello, is there anything else I could get you tonight?” You didn’t even hear the waitress approach the table. “Uh no just the check.” Cheol exclaimed giving her a slight smile. “You ready to go?” You nod your and began to gather your things. After paying the bill, you both walk outside as the valet brings his car around.

It was a long and quiet ride back to your house. Once he pulls up, he puts the car in park and looks over at you. “I love you Y/n. I’ve never stopped loving you.” He reaches over and grabs your hand. You jump at his sudden action. It’s been so long since you’ve felt his touch.

“I’m sorry Seungcheol, I love you but not in that way anymore,” you began, “I just can’t forgive you for hurting me.” You pull your hand away and began to open the door. Just then Seungcheol reaches and grabs your arm. “Y/n please. I’m sorry.” You can see him welling up. “Please just let me explain.” I can’t watch this. “I’m sorry Cheol.” You quickly step out and run inside your house.

I’m so sorry.

——————————————————————————

“Dude that was like five tops, come on just five more.” Mingyu says to Dk. He breathes out deeply and pushes through the rest of the set. “Fuck Mingyu that was like twenty pounds over my normal weight.” He says after putting the bar back in its place. “Oh suck it up Dk, you made it didn’t you?” They grab their things and head towards the locker room.

Dk grabs the seat closest to his locker and opens his water for a drink. “I should’ve let that bar fall on top of you last month.” He says playfully rolling his eyes. Mingyu laughs and grabs his towel from his locker. “Yea whatever, you love having me as a friend.” Just then Mingyu gets a call on his phone. It’s Seungcheol.

Mingyu- “Hey bro, how you been holding up?”

Seungcheol- “I can’t take it bro. I’m lost without her.”

Mingyu- “You’ve been doing so much better Cheol, why relapse now?”

Seungcheol- “I can’t stop thinking about our date last week. I just feel like we were almost there. Could you just come over for a bit?”

Mingyu- “Alright Cheol, I’ll be there soon.”

Dk blinks rapidly and runs his fingers through his hair. Did he say Cheol, as in Seungcheol? What are the odds? “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to snoop but did you say Cheol?” Dk asks reluctantly. Mingyu nods his head. “Yea sorry about that. It was just my friend Seungcheol.” Dk chuckles slightly. “As in Choi Seungcheol?”

Mingyu ruffles his eyebrows and takes a seat next to him. “Do you know him or something?” Dk just shrugs and turns his body towards him. “Well if it’s the Seungcheol I’m thinking about, he used to date my bestfriend Y/n.” Mingyu raises his eyebrows and quickly nods his head.

“I know he’s your friend and all,” Dk began, “but he’s a piece of shit.” He says standing up to grab his bag. Mingyu sighs deeply. He doesn’t blame Dk for how he feels. “There’s something you should know, something you and Y/n should know.” Dk looks down at him and shrugs his shoulders. “Please continue.”

——————————————————————————

It’s been a little over a week now, why can’t I stop thinking about him. You shake your head and sit up in your bed. You loved him, more than words can explain. Why Cheol?

Just then you hear your doorbell ring. You look at the camera app on your phone and smile instantly at Dk’s face. He’s uncomfortably close to the lens. “I know you can see me Y/n, come open the door. You chuckle to yourself and run downstairs to open your door.

“I have Moscato.” He smiles brightly and shakes the bottle as he walks in. “You been alright best?” He asks grabbing two glasses from the cabinet. You sigh deeply and brush your hair behind your hair. “You ever wish you could go back in time and change some things about your life?” You ask him as he pours your drink.

“I think all my decisions have led me to where I am now, so to answer your question babe, no.” You sigh deeply and finish your drink in a head toss. “I can’t stop thinking about him Dokyeomie,” you start, “I loved him and he just threw it all away.” Dk sighs to himself and looks away. He’s contemplating over whether he should tell you this or not.

“Best I have to tell you something.” He grabs your hand and pulls you towards the living room. “Sit here, and drink this.” He refills your glass and sits back. “You’re scaring me Dk, what’s wrong?” You question as you take a sip. He takes a deep breathe and grabs your hand.

“He never wanted to hurt your feelings,” he continues after a short pause, “it wasn’t his fault.” You’re taken aback by his words. You quickly snatch away and stand up. “Why are you defending him Seokmin, I’m your best friend not him. HE CHEATED ON ME.” You yell through welling tears. How could he sit here and defend him to you.

“Y/n please just listen to me.” He begs, gesturing for you to sit back down. “NO, after all I’ve been through emotionally, are you really gonna sit here in my face and defend his actions, are you serious right now? HOW COULD-“ Your words were cut short. “HE WAS DRUGGED Y/N!”

There was a long silence.

What the fuck. What? How? “W-What? How do you know? Who told you that?” You sit down and take a deep breath. “Remember that guy I told you about last month? Well that Gyu, is Mingyu, Seungcheol’s best friend and secretary.” You stare at him blankly. There’s no words. “He overheard Seungcheol and that chick Nayeon having a conversation a while ago. She admitted to drugging him that night. She set him up Y/n, it wasn’t his fault.”

I hate you. Fuck you Seungcheol. I hope it was worth it. Your past words create a heart wrenching ache in your chest. Drugged? “Oh Dk what did I do?” You hate yourself. You blamed him for so long. “I told him I hated him Dk, I fucking hit him. What kind of a bitch am I?” Dk grabs your arm and pulls you into a hug just as tears began to pour down your face.

You can’t help but feel a sense of guilt. Why didn’t I just listen to my gut. He would’ve never intentionally hurt me like that. “You know you could call him Y/n, it’s never too late.” Dk says cutting you from your thoughts. He hates me. I would hate me. He would never take me back. Not after I turned him down and ran out on him last week.

“I can’t do that Dk. I’ve hurt him. Multiple times.” You cry loudly into his shoulder. What am I gonna do?

——————————————————————————

It’s been two weeks since your date. “I love you Cheollie, I can’t wait to see you again.” Seungcheol lays on the bed and listens to an old message you’ve sent him a couple years back.“I love you Cheollie, I can’t-.” The message repeats again but is cut short by his battery alert. He leans forward but bumps the table dropping his phone.

His hand then accidentally clicks the trash can symbol at the bottom of the screen.

“Fuck what did I do?” He says trying to restore the recording. “FUCK!” He tosses his phone across the room. It’s always gonna be my word against yours. No one is gonna believe you Cheol. Her words played like a broken record in his head. He hated her. He hated her for coming between the two of you. Most of all he hated himself for ever being nice to her.

He looks over at his now empty liquor cabinet. He quit drinking recently, for you. He wanted to get better for you. Now there’s no point. You aren’t here and you won’t be coming back. *Sigh*. He grabs his jacket and keys and head for the door. He can hear the pounding rain from outside the door but he doesn’t care right now. He unlocks the door and swings it open with his head down.

Fuck it I need drink. I have to stop thinking about- “You?”

“Hi Cheol.”

————————————————————————————

<A/N> Let me know what y’all think about it please and thank you. I know it’s long over do but this is just a little something for now.

#choi seungcheol #scoups #carat #alternate universe #seventeen #scoups x reader #seventeen x reader #seventeen au #svt #svt fanfic #fanfic #kpop fanfic

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