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a-reader-and-a-writer · 1 year

Text

From the One Who Loves You

Fandom: Top Gun, Top Gun: Maverick, Robert "Bob" Floyd, f!reader

Word Count: 3118

TW: Fluff, Angst, Separated During Wartime, Character Death, Longing Notes: Thank you to @loverhymeswith for reading this over for me 🥰

This is a WWII AU containing a selection of letters sent back and forth between Lieutenant Robert Floyd and his fiance.

Written/inspired by @writer-wednesday

July 1942:

My dearest Bobby,

I was walking to work this morning and a small plane passed by overhead. I pretended it was you breaking orders and flying across the ocean to catch a glimpse of me even for just a moment. What I wouldn’t give to see you even for a few fleeting seconds. It has only been a few months since you shipped off to war, and yet it seems like a lifetime. Every day I miss you more than the previous day, to the point that I can’t imagine being capable of feeling a greater ache of longing in my chest. However, I wake up the next day to find that I was wrong. Please come home soon so this emptiness does not swallow me whole.

The only time I seem to feel any form of happiness anymore is when I receive your letters and photographs. It is wonderful to see the whole squad together and I am so relieved you all are able to make time for some form of fun amongst all of the horrors you must be facing. I placed the photo of you, Miles, Jake, and Bradley at the beach in the frame in the hall so I see it every time I walk by. It always brings a smile to my lips and I am glad you are surrounded by such good friends.

The places you are visiting look so beautiful! Maybe someday once all of this is over and there is peace again, you can take me to all of the places in your photos. Of course, I would be terrified seeing as I have never even left the state before. But as long as I was with you, I think I could be brave enough, though never as brave as you are. I know I have told you this countless times, but you truly are my hero, Robert Floyd. Stay safe and write when you can.

Signed, The woman who loves you

My love,

I would steal a plane this moment and fly to you if I thought there was even the slightest chance of getting a glimpse of your gentle face. I miss you more than words can ever say. Some days, it all seems too much for me and the thought of seeing you again is the only thing that keeps me going. The pictures you include with your letters are a Godsend and I stare at them every night before I go to sleep so my dreams are filled with only thoughts of you. Yet, they make me long for you even more. Seeing your face in black and white on a piece of paper is not enough. I need the smell of your skin, the brush of your fingers across my cheek, the taste of your lips….. Just the thought of it is nearly unbearable.

For our honeymoon, I can show you the world. Anywhere you want to go, just say the word and I’ll get us first-class tickets. Or we can lock ourselves in our apartment and not leave the bedroom for a week. As long as I can hold you in my arms, I won’t care where we are. Once the war is over and I come home to you, I will never leave your side again.

And my dear, please never doubt how brave you are. You have a strength and a courage unlike anyone else I have ever met. It is only because of your faith in me and your resilience during this difficult time that I have the courage to be over here fighting. Your constant support and love is what gives me the drive to face whatever happens and I can never repay you for that. But I swear to you that I will spend the rest of our lives trying to anyway.

Signed, The man who loves you

October 1942:

Sweetheart,

Today…. Today was not a good day. In fact, it was the worst I have experienced since leaving your side. We lost Miles. I tried covering him the best that I could but in the end, it wasn’t enough. I’ve never lost a wingman before and Miles was so much more than that. He has been like a brother to me since I joined the Academy. Watching him get shot down in front of me, unable to help him…. It is something I do not know if I will ever get over.

They have already assigned me a new wingman, a female pilot named Natasha Trace. I haven’t met her yet, but Ruben and Mickey know her from a previous assignment. They have nothing but fantastic things to say about her. While no one could ever replace Miles, I do hope the two of us can form at least some sort of level of trust or hopefully even a friendship. Though, the thought of going back into the sky without Miles at my side makes me sick to my stomach.

I need you so badly right now. I feel like I’m falling apart inside and I need you to help hold me together. Everyone else here understands – even Jake didn’t say anything when he walked in on me crying – but it’s not the same. I need you to wrap me in your arms, run your fingers through my hair, and whisper that it’s all going to be okay just like you always do when I’m upset. I need you, all of you. Words and pictures are not enough anymore. But it is still months before I will have the possibility of visiting home. I don’t know how I will survive without you until then.

Signed, The man who loves you

My dear, sweet Bobby,

I was so heartbroken to hear about Miles. He was such a kind, generous soul and I cannot fathom what you are feeling right now. That photo in the hall that once brought me such joy now brings me nearly to tears every time I see it, yet I can’t bear to take it down. How you deal with seeing reminders of him all around you all the time I do not know.

I wish with all of my heart that I could be with you for this, to help you deal with it, and it pains me to know how much you are hurting when I cannot be there for you. But I have included more photos and one of my scarves sprayed with my perfume. I don’t know if the fragrance will still linger on it when it reaches you but I pray that it does. Whenever you are missing me, hold it close and know that I am with you.

Hopefully, this Natasha is as skilled as you say. I need to know that your partner in the sky will be able to watch out for you until you can once again reach the ground. Knowing the danger you face has me constantly worried for you, but it wasn’t until I heard about Miles that I think it really hit home the reality of the situation. Understanding it is possible is one thing. Witnessing it happening to someone you care for is another. Please, Bobby, I beg of you, be careful and come home to me. Come home and make me your bride as you promised.

Signed, The woman who loves you

My love,

I have slept with your scarf wrapped around my hand every night since it arrived. It shouldn’t be possible, but I swear I can still smell your perfume deep within the fibers. Maybe it is just wishful thinking, but regardless, it has brought me much comfort in these miserable times.

Every day when we take off, fewer of us come back and I thank God when my feet touch the ground once more. My squad has been very lucky so far and we haven’t lost anyone since Miles, though there have been many close calls. Only yesterday, Javy nearly crashed nose-first into the ground but he was able to right his plane at the last second and narrowly escaped a fiery death. Last week, Bradley and Captain Mitchell were cornered by an enemy plane but Jake managed to swoop in and save them just in time.

While Miles will never stop being my wingman in my heart, Natasha has proven time and time again that she has my back and she is everything they said she was and more. We became close friends almost instantly. You would love her. She is just as snarky and sarcastic as Jake while also being as level-headed and strategic as Bradley. She fit right in with the rest of the squad and despite everything that is going on over here, I feel safe knowing she has my back. Just as I know you have my back…. and my front… and my heart…. and all of me.

Signed, The man who loves you

December 1942:

Merry Christmas Bobby!

I hope this makes it to you before Christmas Day. I made sure to send it early just to make sure. It has been snowing here the past few days so it seemed like a sign I should go ahead and send it now. I have also included a tin of my famous chocolate chip cookies and I tried to make enough for the whole squad (but only if you feel like sharing). Everything is beginning to be rationed again and I almost didn’t have enough eggs, but I was able to borrow two from Mrs. Benjamin down the hall. I just hope they are still edible by the time they reach you.

Christmas was always my favorite time of year, but I am almost dreading it this year. How can I be cheerful and merry without you here with me? Your family invited me to spend the day with them, but I think that would only make me miss you more. There would be a Bobby-sized hole present at all times and I cannot face that. Better for me to sit only at the apartment where I can miss you without having to put on a brave face for anyone else. Maybe we can have a belated Christmas when you return, just the two of us. I’ll make sure and save some mistletoe for the occasion.

Signed, The woman who loves you

My Christmas Angel,

Merry Christmas! You cannot believe my surprise and delight in receiving not only your letter but also your cookies. Even a little stale, they still taste like Heaven on Earth. Truthfully, I considered hoarding them all for myself, but in the end, I couldn’t deny the squad the pleasure of your baking. That was a mistake. They devoured them in moments. Luckily, I had already stored a few away fearing this possibility. Ruben and Mickey almost came to blows over the last one, and I think it is the first time I have ever seen those two so much as disagree. But that is the power of your cookies.

I gently nibbled on mine for a few days trying to make them last as long as possible. Tasting them, I almost felt like I was back in the kitchen and if I just turned around, you would be standing at the oven with a fresh batch in your hands. I don’t think I have felt that close to you since I left. Please send more of your baking when time and rations allow. I want to feel that closeness once more.

We have only had the lightest of snows the other day, but it was just enough for Bradley to nail Jake in the head with a snowball. It took Javi, Nat, and myself to hold Jake back from lunging at him, but he calmed down once the ice in his jacket melted. Of course, that didn’t stop him from dumping a container of ice water on Bradley when he was getting out of the shower. The chase and tackle that followed was something to behold (though a scene not suited for your eyes).

I am trying to find these moments of joy and laughter to cling to, but I am dreading Christmas just as much as you. This will be the first time we are not together on that day since I first asked you to dinner all of those years ago. But the thought of a belated Christmas together is just the thing I need to help me make it through into the new year…. The year I get to be with you once more. But until then, know that my heart and my head will be with you on Christmas day, just as they are every other day. Please celebrate for the both of us, my sweet.

Signed, The man who loves you

April 1942:

Bobby,

I ran into your mother and sister in town today (they miss you almost as much as I do). They were asking me once again if I had made any more decisions about the wedding. I know I need to – your leave will be here before we know it – but I can’t force myself to make plans. We were supposed to do this together. What if I pick out the wrong thing? What if you don’t like the location or the color of the flowers or the dresses? What if I ruin our day because I make it all about what I want? I so want this to be a day both of us will remember fondly for the rest of our lives, but how do I do that without you here with me to help?

Sometimes I think we should wait until after the war to get married. After you come home for good and we can plan all of this out together. But that thought never lingers in my mind for long. I cannot wait to become your wife and another few months already feels like an eternity as it is. While I pray that this war will be over soon, it realistically may last for many more years and I refuse to wait that long to be married to you. So, one way or another, I will become Mrs. Robert Floyd the next time we meet. Even if that means the ceremony isn’t one either one of us will be happy with. I have to keep telling myself it’s just a day after all, then we have the rest of our lives to be happy together. And I know we will be happy together.

Signed, The woman who loves you

Sweetheart,

We could get married in the middle of the undecorated apartment wearing nothing at all and it would still be the greatest day of my life (and it would also save me the trouble of undressing you later). I love that you want to wait for me and if I had my way, I would hold your hand as we made each and every decision together. But that’s not possible at the moment.

So, how about this… I would like to wear my dress blues if possible, and maybe the flowers could match? I don’t care what kind. For the location, I just want it to be somewhere that will hold all of our family and friends. Beyond that, it doesn’t matter to me. And if you don’t let my sister talk you into allowing her to wear something inappropriate for the occasion as she did for our engagement party, I don’t mind what everyone wears. And even if I was there, I wouldn’t want to see your dress until the day of. It’s bad luck for the groom to see it beforehand, or so my mother says.

But as you mentioned, it is just a day in the end. Whether everything is perfect or a complete disaster, as long as it ends with you as my wife nothing else matters. So, do what you have to do and I will support your decisions completely. My only non-negotiable request is that we set the date as close to my return as possible. I plan on spending the entire time I am home celebrating with you. You won’t leave my sight for a single moment.

Signed, The man who loves you

November 1943:

My dearest husband,

I can’t believe it is only two weeks since you left me again. It already feels like an eternity. But at least this time, I have a ring on my finger and your last name to keep me company. I still can’t believe it’s real. We are actually married and it was all more perfect than I could have dreamed. Now our lives together can really start.

Someone at work mentioned that house over on Maple that you love so much might be going on the market soon. Is it crazy I want to inquire about the price? It would be such a lovely place to raise children and grow our family. There is even a backyard for that dog we have always talked about. But it would also feel so empty just living there by myself, so you need to hurry home to keep me company.

For a few days shortly after you left, I thought we might have started our family earlier than expected, but it turned out not to be the case. Though I wouldn’t have been surprised if it was true considering what we did those nights after the wedding. It was more of a disappointment than I realized it would be when I found out I was wrong. But I had let my mind run away from me and I began to dream of our future before I should have. However, just the thought of you as a father makes my heart soar. I guess we will have to try again as soon as you get home. Please let that be soon. But until that time, remember that you carry my heart with you always.

Signed, The woman who loves you

Mrs. Floyd,

With the deepest condolences, we regret to inform you that your husband, Lt. Robert Floyd, was killed in action on November 11, 1942, in the performance of his duties and in service to his country. His body was recovered soon afterward and further instructions on its return to you will be forthcoming.

He was shot down protecting the other members of his squad from enemy fire and he died a hero. His effects will be shipped back to you including those found on his person: his glasses, a wedding ring, a scarf, and a stack of photos.

Please accept my heartfelt apologies. Bob was a good man.

Captain Pete Mitchell

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pinkpastels113 · 2 years

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hey :)) could you maybe do #57 from the '101 ways to say i love you with actions'-promts? only if you're up for it!!!

btw i LOVE your stories. thank you for sharing them <33

i had to dig for the list lmao it’s been a while since i’ve reblogged it. thank you for the kind words anon! they made my heart happy <33

101 ways to say i love you

57. Making sure that they aren't alone when you know they need someone.

Chloe hates to admit it, but she is afraid of the water. As in, can’t go to the aquarium, can’t wash her face without looking in the mirror or past her shoulder every few seconds, never shower with her eyes closed, kinda thing.

Naturally that means she can’t swim. Now obviously there were people who sought to teach her, her parents, her friends’ parents, heck even the little kid down the street from her hometown when he saw her standing at the edge of the community pool in her swimsuit one summer looking terrifyingly at the water, but that didn’t mean she took their advice, or help.

She almost drowned as a kid, at the beach. Her cousins had been responsible for taking care of her, but as boys are, they quickly grew bored and decided to paddle away on their own to splash each other with their makeshift water guns. Chloe being four had wanted to join them, only to trip on a bit of kelp on the bottom of the ocean floor and fell face-first in the water.

Twenty years later and she still could not forget the feeling of suffocation the experience brought her. She hated feeling like her lungs were compressed, filled to the brim of something that she can not cough enough out, like she can not take a full breath to sing, let alone call for aid of any kind.

The Bellas know this. Due to a game of truth of dare Chloe revealed her phobia, and everyone had been shocked but surprisingly understanding. Aubrey had been her lifeguard every time they went out on water excursions, making Chloe feel safe.

But now Aubrey is gone and Chloe is left on her own. Her heart rate had started to speed up minutes ago but Chloe hadn’t taken notice of the time seeing as how she was too busy starting at the large body of water that reflected back at her.

Logically she knows that she doesn’t have to go in. She has her sunblock, her book, her glasses and her towel, the perfect combination for an afternoon out sunbathing with a good story.

But, like she was still four years old, everybody is having fun in the pool, and she desired to join. Chloe blinks the dizziness that always accompanied her fear whenever she gave it too much thought out of her eyes and takes a deep breath, expanding her chest generously to let the oxygen in. Out. Repeat.

A figure swims up to the edge of the pool. Chloe feels something flutter in her stomach as she watches Beca climb up the ladder that is attached. They spread to the tips of her toes when her gaze lands on the inflatable circular tube that Beca clutches to her side. It’s pink with tropical palm trees and coconuts all over it and clashes horribly with the dark blue bikini that Beca awkwardly shifts against her body when she finally stops in front of Chloe.

“So- um. I found this inflatable that some kid probably left that I think you would like to… y’know. Come down with us.”

Beca looks shy at her invitation. She keeps on fidgeting with the straps on her shoulders like she needs something to do with her fingers. Her feet taps an undetectable rhythm against the heated scratchy tiles. The sun beats down on them and Chloe has never felt more warm.

God it’s been so long since Chloe recognized the excitement of trying something new, rather than the creeping goosebumps of drowning in the water. Even Aubrey hasn’t been able to elicit this reaction out of her despite being her longest friend. She has only ever encouraged Chloe to feel a sense of calm rather than the exhilaration of conquering her fear to accompany her friends.

Chloe takes a step forwards. It felt brave to take that step. Beca’s face seems to mirror Chloe’s sense of accomplishment. Her pride.

“You gotta stay with me though, Bec. I don’t know how to swim, and I need someone to make sure I am not alone so that I don’t fall under.”

Beca’s grip is gentle and reassuring on the guidance of Chloe’s arm. The first laps of the pool are cool on the descent of Chloe’s legs. She doesn’t let go.

“I will not leave your side when I know you need someone, Chloe.”

#yea bitches i am writing in the car again #ALMOST BACK TO MY LAPTOP #bechloe #bechloe drabble #bechloe fluff #w writes #anonymous #beca mitchell #chloe beale #pitch perfect #101 ways to say i love you

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winterrose42 · 2 years

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I'm gonna go off on a tired tangent here for a sec but isn't it just so incredibly lovely when people make you like things you didn't used to just because they enjoy it? Just appreciation absorption turned into everytime you see this certain thing you think of that person and smile and now there's a little section of day that's just them, and a little section of the world that you now find to be absolutely beautiful all because of them. Loving things because of people and loving people because of things is wonderful I think.

#winter speaks #yellow ued to be my least favorite color. i just liked cool colors more and yellow never really seemed to add anything #but yellow is one of my friends favorite colors and now i add it to more things and wear it more and use the color more #bc tbey like it and it makes me happy to think im adding a small part of tgem into things #and yes this is you andy hush no awws from you if you read this #and i am...i have a healthy fear of the ocean. and birds. specifically chickens #but my partner loves both of tgise things so anytime i see anythibg about either i dont so much think ''oh boy fearTM''#its more i hope kits chickens are doing well and purrs getting sufficient snuggles from them bc i know that makes purr happy #and i hope i get to see kit smile by the ocean someday bc kit sent me a picture of kit by tge beach once #and they looked so happy so i think maybe i could brave the ocean.....'s beach- far up om the beach- to see that irl #i saw a post the kther day..i think it was yesterday actually idk time isnt real...where you pick up peoples #mannerisms sometimes like a sponge. and tge amount i have picked up from people that i still have and tgen the new ones #idk it just makes me smile tge point got awag from me i tgink #love people for what they make you notice i guess is maybe the point hdbdkd i am very tured #random people stumbling on my blog join the half awake madman as he goes back and forth between #loving everything about the world around him to being a depressed shit that wants to live permanately under his bed #this november is sucking so far but you know what im drinking a jar full of coffee #thinking about my friend that prefers tea and wishing i could make some for them while i enjoy the madness that is espresso

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faithinthefuture28 · 4 years

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Larry songs timeline & what it tells us about the evolution of their relationship

**These are all just my interpretations but the more I listen to the music they wrote, the more it all fits together. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THROUGHOUT THE YEARS THEY’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT WRITING “AUTOBIOGRAPHICALLY” AND “FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE”

I deffo missed some songs but these stood out to me:

2013

L-Strong: Love isn’t easy (waves trying to break it) but what we have means something and it’s worth fighting for. read: love is only for the brave (Think of how much love that’s been wasted...there’s nothing i’m running from...i don’t care, I’m not scared of love) And we bring out the best in each other so lets not throw this away (i’d do anything to save it...when i’m not with you i’m weaker).

H-Happily: I want to fight for us too bc we’re on fire and our love is powerful af. ik we have to do stunts and stuff (and if (s)he feels my traces in your hair, sorry love but I don’t really care) but what we have is insane and fuck everyone else bc you’re MINE and i’m YOURS at the end of the day (i wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep). Together, we’re magic so just be with me so happily

H-Something Great: ****this song is very straightforward so i won’t explain it much***** (i want you here with me like how i pictured it so i dont have to keep imagining... We’re better off together here tonight). Written as a longing for what could be if they dont have to suppress the relationship. (script was written...want to rip it all to shreds) Louis’ response (you’re all I want so much it’s hurting) basically says “it’s not too much to ask babe, i want it too.” This has the kind of longing that ‘wouldn’t it be nice- beach boys’ which Harry has admitted is kind of a theme song.

L-Through the Dark: I know all this bs we’re going through is taking a toll on you and hurts you and i hate seeing you upset (you tell me that your sad...you tell me that you’re hurt and youre in pain and i can see your head is held in shame...i just wanna see you smile again) but I will do everything physically possible to protect you from any pain bb (i’d never let you fall and break your heart, if u wanna cry or fall apart, i’ll be there to hold ya). We’re going through this together and I will take on any responsibility needed to keep you happy. I’M WILLING TO GO THROUGH HELL TO FIGHT FOR US HARRY LOVE (entire chorus basically).

L-Better than Words: holy fuck our love is amazing can’t even describe it can i just sing to you foreva love u babycakes

L-Why don’t we go there: what if...we just forgot about the world and escaped and enjoyed each others love and rode the high??? Also sex

2014

L-Ready to Run: *******Followup to Why Don’t We Go There*********** But this time let’s escape for real bc (there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time). Like i’m ready to get out of here and it could just be us living happily ever after (this time i’m ready to run). Honestly nothing else makes sense (without you i’ll never make it out alive...wherever you are is the place i belong). I know what i want out of life and IT’S YOU HARREH (i want to be free and i wanna be yours, i will never look back).

L-Steal My Girl: all u thirsty hoes find someone else bc Harry is MY pretty princess. Srsly ask his family. But you can still admire how he looks in those jeans. We all do. You know the ones

L-No Control: boy u fine, let’s do what lovers do IN THE MORNING. bc we can. also you own me and i am urs

L-Clouds: WE KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE HARD SO WHY ARE YOU BEING A LITTLE BITCH (you dont like it complicated...but love is never ever simple...you are tired of all the changes, but love is always always changing). We could be great yo, just keep fighting (if we’re never coming back down, we’ll looking down on the clouds...we go and we go and we dont stop)

H-Where do Broken Hearts Go: IM SORRY LOU BABY YOURE EVERYTHING (rest of my crimes dont come close the look on your face when i let you go... the taste of your lips...is at the top of the list of things i want). H&L’s call and response at the end is basically forgiveness and acknowledgment (come on baby come and get me out, come on baby cuz i need you now)

H-Two Ghosts: *****was written around this time according to Harry******. This is fucking hard yo. We’re drained and exhausted and idk how much more we can fight for this... (it’s not you and it’s not me...sounds like something that i used to feel). That infatuation and electricity and hope that fueled our younger selves isn’t really there anymore and i’m just tired man (we’re just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat, we’re not who we used to be...this was all we used to need). We’re empty vessels going through the motions (same eyes blue, couple more tattoos). AND WE AREN’T FUCKING COMMUNICATING (we dont say what we really mean).

2015

H&L-Perfect: so what if... we get rid of the pressure of forever? What if we just have fun doing the stupid shit we love and makes us feel alive (trouble up in hotel rooms, secret little rendezvous, things you know that we shouldn’t do). Like we won’t be out of each others’ lives, I’m still around and we can find comfort in each other and even mess around here and there (I can be the one you love from time to time). Remember how we used to be young and EXCITED (when i first saw you from across the room, i could tell that you were curious) let’s get that energy back without the responsiblity of an adult relationship. And we can keep making art lmao (if youre looking for someone to write your breakup songs about).

L-Long Way Down *****this song fkn hurts man. It’s overlooked a lot but shows so much insight**** We were...everything. And maybe that’s the problem? We’ve been through so fucking much, more than anyone our age should have to endure. (We've been in fire, Went down in the flames. We sailed the ocean And drowned in the waves. Built a cathedral But we never prayed) We didn’t know what we had. We were damn kids man. We weren’t prepared for all this. We didn’t know how powerful this would be. We didn’t know what it required of us. (We had a mountain But took it for granted. We had it all yeah. Who could’ve planned it). We didn’t know what to do with it, how to deal with it, so here we are. (We had a spaceship But we couldn't land it) We’re each other’s everything, but we can’t keep going on like this babe. (We found an island But we got stranded). I don’t want to leave you but being together is breaking us down. (Point of no return and now It's just too late to turn around) We thought we were untouchable. That love conquers all. Maybe, we were wrong. This is gonna hurt like a bitch (We built it up so high and now I'm fallin', it’s a long way down)

H-Olivia: I LIVE FOR YOU, I LONG FOR YOU, I LOVE YA. And i think i’ll always love ya. And I’m scared...of life without you (i get the feeling you’re walking out, time is irrelevant when i’ve not been seeing you, the consequences are falling now, there’s something i’m having nightmares about...dont let me go). But maybe just maybe thats okay, because you’re AIMH (you live in my imagination...i love you, it’s all i do).

L-Love you Goodbye: I fucking love you and I’ll always fucking love you but i think this is the right thing to do even though it feels so wrong (i know there’s nothing i can do to change it, but is there something that can be negotiated?) We made some goddamn fireworks together though (unforgettable together held the whole world in our hands) and do ya maybe think...we can make them just once more? (if tomorrow you wont be mine, let me give it to you one last time, baby let me love you goodbye...one more taste of your lips just to bring me back to the places we’ve been and the nights we’ve had because if this is it, then at least we could end it riiiiight). ********in the interview with our FAVE Gwen Garcia, she asked if it’s better to say goodbye and end a relationship that’s not feeling right or keep trying even if your heart’s not in it. Harry responds with “I think it’s better to say goodbye...but sometimes if youre trying to protect..” Then Louis cuts him off and says “you’re going deep aren’t you”, brushing the question off as a joke but imho i think there was pain in that answer. Then Harry continues “if you’re not 100% in it, I think it’s better for both parties if you say goodbye”. And Louis adds a “yeah” at the end.********

H-Walking in the Wind: I know this is scary but i think we can do it, (you said to me do you believe i’ll be too far? if youre lost just look for me you’ll find me) I think because youre AIMH and i’m always in yours, it’ll be good for us. And look at us being mature, we’re killing it babe. We can live our separate lives and grow on our own. We dont need to make it messy and hurtful. We’re on the same page. (the fact that we can sit right here and say goodbye means we’ve already won. A necessity for apologies between you and me, baby there is none). At this point, we’re kinda part of each other right? So it’s healthy for us to be apart for a bit. (it’s not the end, i’ll see your face again... i know we’ll be alright...just close your eyes and see i’ll be by your side any time you need me). And you’ve helped me grow into the person I am, and I you, so that’s cool as hell, right? (you will find me in places that we’ve never been). We had a TON of fun (we had some good times didnt we) so i feel okay that we’re doing this (goodbyes are bittersweet) and starting the next adventure in our lives.

H-If I could fly: I. am. yours. Louis. William. Tomlinson. (for your eyes only, i’ll show you my heart). Maybe this growth thing isn’t worth it, let me prove to you how much you mean to me (i think i might give up everything just ask me to). This is gonna be hard as shit because i’m so dependent on you (i’m missing half of me when we’re apart). I’m being honest and I’m being scared and I’m being vulnerable because I can’t lie to you and pretend I’m strong (i let my guard down, right now i’m completely defenseless). But we’re part of each other, right? (i could feel your heart inside of mine). I’ll always be here for you Lou (for when you’re lonely and forget who you are) even if for now we can’t physically be together.

L-Home: I’ve tried, Harry. I’ve tried to play pretend (told myself i kind of like her but there was something missin in her eyes). But i was lost (i was stumblin, lookin in the dark with an empty heart) because none of it was enough, none of it was YOU (it was there i sawr it in your eyes). And then i met you and you felt the same and we’re both lost souls playing pretend who found magic in each other (but you say you feel the same, could we ever be enough?) Is our love enough to overcome everything? Maybe we can be enough. Maybe I can make this enough, let me try to make it enough for you. And if we go our separate ways, know that I’m here for you no matter what. I won’t let you be lost again. (When you’re lost I’ll find a way and I’ll be your light, you will never feel like you’re alone, I’ll make this feel like home). So go. wander. find yourself. Then when you’re ready, come home.

2016-2017

H- Sweet Creature: ***Harry admit that this was the first song he wrote for the album**** We aren’t in the best place rn. We’ve been fighting (had another talk about where it’s going wrong...it’s hard when we argue, we’re both stubborn). But it’s you Louis. It can’t be anyone else. (don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong... wherever I go, you bring me home). That’s not even a question. I’m still trying to figure out who I am, but the one thing I know is that a large part of who I am is you (we started 2 hearts in one home). And aint no way I’m losing that part of myself (when i run out of road, you bring me home). It was always you.

H-MMITH: Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready (just let me know i’ll be at the door, hoping you’ll come around). I know I need to work on myself a little more (i gotta get better, and maybe we’ll work it out) but honestly i’m getting impatient and i want things to go back to how they were and i want to be yours again (once you go without it, nothing else would do). But I can’t communicate this to you clearly so let me just put this in a song and hope you get it (we dont talk about it, it’s something we dont do) ****Harry mentioned in an interview that he expresses himself through songwriting when he can’t say the words directly to a person because it’s easier to just write it in a song than have difficult conversations*****

H-ESNY: ****honestly no idea what this song is about but it’s something to do with them fighting and not communicating and being in a weird place before their relationship is rekindled******* edit: this could be about his stepdad

H-FTDT: I MISS YOU AND I’M TOO FULL OF PRIDE TO TELL YOU DIRECTLY JUST COME BACK INTO LIFE LOU I’M LONELY AND SAD AND EMPTY AND IM NOT FUCKING FINDING MYSELF LIKE YOU SAID I WOULD (woke up alone, played with myself where were you...we havent spoke since you went away, why wont you ever say what you wanna say) So until then I sit and wait for your sorry ass to make the first move (maybe one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry too...but you never do). Also like i have to hear from other people how you are?? (i saw your friend that you know from work, he said that you feel just fine) ANd you’re sharing OUR clothes with people?? wtf just swallow your pride and call me

L-Miss You: OKAY BUT I CANT JUST CALL YOU BECAUSE I HAVE PRIDE TOO also my mates are trying to make me get over you (now i’m asking my friends how to say I’m sorry, they say lad give it ttime there’s no need to worry, and we can’t even be on the phone now). So i’m just numbing your absence with partying and drinks but CLEARLY ITS NOT WORKING (should be laughing but there’s something wrong...shit maybe i miss you...when i feel it coming up i just throw it all away, get another few shots cuz it doesn’t matter anyway...such a good time, i’ll believe it this time). This is weird bc like you were my everything but im trying to get used to this and it fucking sux (oh how shit changes, we were in love, now we’re strangers). And tbh, its scary af bc what if this is it (i’m asking myself, is it over?). BUT ALSO LIKE WTF U COULD REACH OUT FIRST YA KNOW (i’ve been checking my phone all evening).

H-Anna: wtf Louis how do you not see how much this is killing me. I miss you so much and seeing you on tv or in pics drives me wild bc you’re not mine. (I don’t want your sympathy but you don’t know what you do to me...everytime I see your face there’s only so much I can take...I guess it would be nice if I can touch your body). And idk if you’re replacing me (don’t know where you’re laying, just know it’s not with me) and we’re in SUCH a weird place rn how do I tell u you’re the loml (don’t know what I’d say if I passed you on the street...don’t know what I’d tell you if you asked me for the truth) so I refuse to put this song on the album and let you know this and give you satisfaction from knowing how gone I still am for you bc I have 0 idea how you feel (hope you never see this and know that it’s for you)

L-Always You: SO THIS IS ME SWALLOWING MY PRIDE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU SAYING IM SORRY FOR THAT NIGHT... ok but fr i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u and nothing else compares like i can travel the whole world and all i think about is how much more fun it was with you and the memories we shared and i wish i could just say thx fr th mmrs and move on but actually no thx actually fuck you for making me not able to enjoy my life without you. So like...come home? and wrap your legs around me? also lmao i took El to a gay bar in amsterdam for her bday lmao i miss u come cuddle me and i’ll tell you all about it

L-We Made It: looks like we made it, look how far we’ve come my baby. They saidd I bett they’ll never make it, but just look at us holding onn, we’re still togetherr, still going stronggg. Also to the fans, miss our single bed and the nights we talked about our dreams :-* also Andrew my man luv u

2018-2019

L-KMM: our love was youthful and exhilarating and fucking electric and i think it still can be. dont know what i’d do without you now H

L-DLIBYH: We’re strong babe and we’ve grown and we aren’t gonna let life drag us down. I’m doing better, you’re doing better, this is what we wanted. And now any shit we go through, we’ll go through TOGETHER

L-Too Young: Okay but looking back, that was a lot of shit we went through and we were just babies and i’m sorry for not fighting harder (i cant believe i gave in to the pressure when they said a love like this would never last so i cut you off cuz i didnt know no better) baby i tried, i tried to protect you but like it was just so much and i hate that you got hurt and i wont ever let that happen again. ALso go us for being mature and COMMUNICATING (face to face at the kitchen table, we can finally have a conversation that I wish we could’ve had before). ANd i know you’re an arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry so here let ME say i’m sorry that i hurt you darling. Like we were too young to know we had everything BUT now we’re old(er) and can realize that when we’re together, we DO have everything now and omg is this our happily ever after and we can have a daughter and name her Darcy

L-Habit: do i need to spell it out for you iiiiii aaaaaaaaammmmmmm sssssssoooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy. But tbh i let you go because it felt right because mentally you were already out the door and i needed to give you room to grow babe. And i needed the space too (you gave me the time and the space i was out of control and i’m sorry i let you down). but like also i’ve learned i can’t escape you Styles. You’re always in my fucking heart and my fucking mind and in every essence of my being and somehow I knew that 9 years ago and it took me this long to realize how powerful this really is (guess that that i know what i already knew, i was better with you and i miss you now). Ooooh also my favorite line i wrote (took some time cuz i ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I’m supposed to be and honestly i dont have to choose anymore) like who am i kidding, im done pretending i just wanna be yoursss now

L-Defenseless: I can’t help it okay theres something about you that doesn’t let me stay away. I need you and I know that rekindling this relationship isn’t going to be easy even though it feels so so right. It’s going to be hard work (sleeping on our problems but we’ll solved them in our dreams, wake up early morning and it’s still under the sheets) and we need to communicate and solve our problems but here I am, raw and unfiltered and emotionally naked in front of you ready to lay it all on the table (not sure how to say this right, got so much to lose. NEver been so defenseless). So like this branch I’m reach out to you and you be honest with me too babe (you dont have to keep on being strong for me and you. Acting like you feel no pain, you know i know you do...I can’t get inside, when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove). Be open with me. Lets talk. Let’s solve problems. Lets have an adult relationship. I’m asking for a little vulnerabiltiy babe. It’s just me. Theres nothing to be scared of

L-Walls: And here you have me in my purest form. No lies, no secrets, no insecurities to hide behind. Losing you was fucking painful but i got through it. I’ve been through hell and back and I’ve fought. And without you, I grew into the person I am. And any further growing i’m doing is gonna be with you. bc it was all for you babe. and honestly i can take anything life throws at me now. I’m strong baby. I’m fucking strong and fucking brave and fucking resilient and...fucking yours. ***** wtf is the I just hope i see you one day and you’ll say to me oh oh********

H-Golden: You are the literal sun and I’m not ready. YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD PERSON (you were way too bright for me, i’m hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky). I’m scared to go through this alone, I need your comfort and your guidance (i can feel you take control of who i am and all i’ve ever known). But you’re scared to go through this with me bc you dont wanna get hurt and i’m too open so where tf does that leave us. ******this could be about coming out especially with the London AND NY secret shows where Harry added the lyric I’m hoping someday you’ll open*******

H-Adore You: You dont have to say you love me, you dont have to say nothing, you dont have to say you’re mine. I’d walk through fire for you. Just let me adore Lou. Like its the only thing I’ll ever do. read: Louis is a great person to just admire what he’s like. ALso I dont need anything back. I just dont want to hide my love for you anymore. I don’t need answers or promises. Just let me adore you. ********the music video is also basically a Louis appreciation post. He was the boy with the smile that the world took away from him. He found Harry lost and loved him and nurtured him and made him confident and allowed him to be who he wanted to be. But in doing so, Harry became big and unsatisfied and wanted to explore the world and was clearly interested in Hollywood and Rockstardom especially evident in his behavior 2014-2015. And Louis wasn’t about that life and didn’t want to hold him back. So he let him free. But they realized that they don’t work apart. Wherever they’re going, they’re going together, as the boy sails into the unknown following the fish. I see it as Harry’s version of “this one is a thank you for what you did for me” ************* I see it, I appreciate it, and I love you for it

H-Lights Up: ****fight with Louis. (What do you mean I’m sorry by the way) About coming out? About fame? (Step into the light, so bright sometimes) Either way, L is the guy driving the motorcycle in the video who makes H feel comfortable and safe until they get pulled over because SOMEONE wont let them love*******

H-Falling: What if i’m out, what if i’m someone you won’t talk about? Okay maybe I lied I do want you to claim me. Would me coming out of the closet make that hard for you? I CAN’T GO THROUGH AN IDENTITY CRISIS WITHOUT YOU LOU. I picked someone supportive and now I’m spoiled and I dont know how to be with myself. You want back in my life but what if I dont deserve it? (you said you cared and you missed me too...what i’m someone i dont want around). What if you’re better off without me? (i get the feeling that you’ll never need me again). I know youve been through so much shit because of me, things you’ve never even told me about and im afraid...that I wasn’t worth it. Am I being selfish? because either way, i want YOU (what if you’re someone i just want around). Does that make me a bad person?

H-TBSL: ****Probably when they starting talking again but it was v casual and they didn’t really discuss their relationship yet*****. I MISS U BUT I WONT TELL U THAT and its nice to talk to u again i missed your voice but if u call me baby i will kill u bc that word has weight OKAY. Like i know you just call everyone babe and darling and sweetheart but baby is FOR ME and only for me when you wake up with me and cuddle me and if you think you have any right calling me baby without giving the luxury of being in a relationship with you then piss off because that shit hurts dude. (i know that you’re trying to be friends, know that you mean it...it’s hard for me to go home to be so lonely). ALso it’s not my fault i’m like this, you literally captured my heart when i was 16 like wtf do u expect (dont blame me for falling, i was just a little boy)

H-Sunflower Vol. 6: we were babies and i was so enamored by you and you’re so bright and beautiful and i want to watch you all day and make you smile and i want you to touch my hair and call me curly and i hope im not making you uncomfortable with my heart eyes but like how are you so perfect. I hope you think i’m cool, i’m really trying but like you’re SO FUNNY and charming and everyone loves you i hope im not embarassing myself. And now it’s like 8 years later and i think i can have you again and i want you so bad but i dont wanna seem too eager and im trying to have dignity and not text you first but like also i want nothing more than to talk to you. Do you think i’m cool now? did you like my new hairstyle? Do you think i’m funny on tour? I want everything i want to be domestic again and kiss in the kitchen and i want to cook for you and as;ldfa;sdhaf i want to buy you flowers everyday and shower ur cute face with kiss. boopx28

H-Canyon Moon: Hell yea i got ma man back and i have a girlfriend named Jennifer ;) and we are domestic and even though I HATE being away from him for work (so hard to leave it) we have the 2 week rule yall then i can wrap my legs around him and after so so so long I’ll be h.o.m.e. Also did i tell you his eyes are so so blue like sky who i dont know her

H-TPWK: So we’re really doing this. We don’t need to have it all figured out. We can just be us. and happy. and dance. The world loves us babe. (Giving second chances, I don’t need all the answers and if we’re here long enough we’ll see it’s all for us and we’ll belong)

H-Fine Line: You’ve got my devotion but man I can hate you sometimes....We’ll be a fine line. Between what? love and hate? public and private? out and in the closet? each others’ and ourselves? Idk. But i’m going to swallow my pride (my hands at risk I fold) because no matter what, the worst possible outcome is not having you. And I never wanna go through that again. I know we have work to do on our relationship (spreading you open is the only way I know you). And there’s lot of unknown here (there’s things that we’ll never know) but what i do know is that i cant resist you (you sunshine you temptress) and i cant be without you ever again. I think it’ll be hard as hell. But when have we known love as anything but hard? And when have we known our love as anything but worth it? We’ll be a fine line baby. But i know, i knowww with every part of me that we’ll be alright. Because these past 10 years, we’ve been through A LOT. ANd it could have ruined us and made us cynical and cold and closed off. And I think at one point it did. But you know what we did? We fought it. We fought it together. Then we fought it individually. And we became BRAVE. And a brilliant man once said, “love is only for the brave”.

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watarigarasu · 4 years

Text

Hunger

Pairing: Count Lucio x Reader

Word count: 1,232

Warnings: None

Synopsis: Count Lucio discovers that the appetite comes with eating.

Author’s note: It’s the first time I’ve written anything for The Arcana so please, don’t yell at me, I’m s o f t.

The longer he thought about it, the hungrier he grew.

The taste of fine wine lingering deep in his memory and at the tip of his tongue, the elusive smell of fresh baking almost impossible to recall, the joy of stroking his dogs’ fur and the delightful feeling of the sunrays kissing his skin like a devoted lover gone. Despite his untamed greed and thirst, Count Lucio knew the true value of longing, of craving so ardently that the desired first bite brought him the real ecstasy, the sweetest poison staining his lips like a golden caramel he so adored. Still, no matter how much he wished to finally wake up from the endless nightmare he was stuck in, he could not open his eyes.

Count Lucio was truly damned, condemned to suffer alone for all the eternity, trapped in between life and death and looming in the palace corridors’ as nothing more but a cold whisper of the past. His memories, however, were as vivid as never before, as if somehow it was the death which permanently engraved them in his mind. He could not tell whether it was hours, days or weeks he spent on constant imagining, dreaming about the taste of freshly roasted meat with honey sauce and red, dry wine, the smell of expensive oils on his skin and the velvet touch of fabric upon his shoulders. He longed for the weight of the sword in his hand, for the thrill of emotion during hunting, for the music vibrating in his head and chest, and for the genuine, loud laughing when the pride and happiness was filling his whole body and soul.

He used to have everything, that’s why it was hard to believe that now he truly had nothing.

The blissful awakening did not come until he has almost lost the last strand of hope and to his utter awe, it had a lovely face worth perpetuating on the canvas and hanging in the gallery. How he adored it, the look in your eyes, the magic thrilling in your fingers and the power to set him free, to grant him what he needed and deserved the most. You were going to be his salvation, his redemption, giving him yet another chance to make things right.

Right now, however, when he stood ankles deep in the white sand, chill breeze tangled in his hair and the tiny droplets of the ocean waves hitting his face, all the glorious plans of regaining his power seemed small and insignificant. Surprisingly, as if the endless waters in front of him could wash off the whole determination and calm his previous fervor.

Or, perhaps, it was your soothing presence by his side.

“Can you believe it?” he chuckled, the question directed rather at himself than expecting any kind of answer from you.

Lucio peeked at you from over his shoulder and only then you could spot the wide, cheerful smile playing on his lips. It did not fade since you left the palace, leading the count to the beach so he could see all the changes that occurred during his absence. The lack of still worn mourning clothing on the back of the crowd upset him for a little while but the overwhelming sensations coming at him from every direction were enough to quickly distract him from his inconvenience. There were people chatting, street food prepared, vibrant colours of the fabrics for sale, warm air in his lungs, crystal clear sky above his head and—most importantly—your cautious gaze observing his every move, the one which managed to send shivers down his spine.

He has never thought that being seen could be so delightful.

“You must have missed it,” you noticed and vaguely gestured to the surroundings in front of you both. “Being trapped for so long in a fleshless form.”

“Indeed,” Lucio nodded, one of the sharp eyebrows moving slightly up his forehead. “But there are things way more interesting than the simple view.”

He was charming—he was perfectly aware that he could be and straight up decided to use it on you. Broad shoulders, strong arms, lean silhouette and high cheekbones, aquiline nose, golden hair. It was beyond comprehension how could someone so picturesque had hands permanently stained with dark blood.

You had to remember about it, you promised Asra to.

“Look,” he stated hesitantly and closed the distance between you two. “I know this is just a temporary solution for the whole lack of the real body thing but you have to know that it’s really impressive already. Whatever your so called master said to you, there’s nothing to worry about, dove. You did the right thing, the one nobody else before you had a courage to do. You’re beyond talented and I sincerely believe that there’s nothing you couldn’t achieve if you only wanted to.”

You could feel the slight sensation upon your fingers when he cupped your hands in his—the prosthetic cold against your skin but the touch featherlike. Lucio continued, now realizing that you were not going to back off nor push him away and slowly brought your palms up to his face, all while caressing them with his thumbs.

“I can recognize the true power and potential from miles away, just like I can sense the real beauty. I can’t even imagine how must it feel to be constantly repressed and neglected, denied the raw force you carry but I can assure you that I, contrary to the others, appreciate you just the way you are. How could I not, now, that you’ve showed me what are you capable of? I’d be a fool and I’m convinced that everyone who thinks of you as lesser than perfect is one.”

Lucio’s breath ghosted over your knuckles before he placed a delicate, tender kiss upon them, his long eyelashes casting shadows upon the bloody red eyes focused completely on your face. He loved it, the smell of your skin, the touch upon his lips and suddenly, he wanted more.

He wanted everything.

“Why won’t you break free, my beloved magician?” he whispered against your fingers, kissing each one of them in between the sentences spoken. “Wouldn’t you want to prove them all that you’re strong enough to take care of yourself? That you’re independent and allowed to make your own decisions, instead of pitifully waiting for your master to come back home and tell you what to do, like an obedient pet? Just imagine the look on his face once you show him that you don’t have to be supervised in any circumstances anymore. I’m sure he would be proud of you, too, maybe a little surprised at first but definitely proud that he had such a skilled and brave apprentice.”

There was an invisible venom on his tongue, the lethal visions of glory blinding his senses and the ecstasy burning fiercely in his heart again. Once he laid his eyes upon you when you crossed the threshold of his chambers, Lucio knew that you were going to change his life forever—that you were the key to freedom and not even for a while did he hesitate to reach for it.

“Well then, dove?” he murmured teasingly. “What will you say? All you have to do is ask and I’ll be both your faithful company and the willing, undeniable example of your greatness.”

#the arcana #the arcana lucio #count lucio #count lucio x reader #count lucio x apprentice #count lucio x mc

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nonstoplover · 4 years

Text

sand in my shoes ~ Joe Mazzello (song drabble)

my masterlist │ my song drabbles

song used as inspiration: dido ~ sand in my shoes

words: 4.2K

approximate reading time: about 20-25 mins

a/n: number five!! it has a couple of time jumps, small scenes instead of one huge, eventful one. this song is so amazing, i love dido (thanks mum), and i love Joe and i love writing about him. i hope you'll enjoy this as much as i did writing it!! feel free to request anything!

The strap of her bag slid down her shoulder just as the door behind her closed with a loud click. (y/n) glanced around, a weird feeling filling up her body. Her eyes moved around the furniture, trying to find out what it was that felt strange, but everything seemed to be just like when she left two weeks earlier.

Suddenly it clicked in her head. That was the weird thing. That it was the exact same.

After everything that happened, in the back of her mind she thought it would change her normal life as well, but it was as if her trip to Kauai never happened. As if it was only a dream.

She left her bag right at the door where it landed next to her suitcase and went straight to the sofa, sitting down and closing her eyes. She could still feel the salty scent of the ocean, the touch of the light breeze that moved across the beach, the perfume he used and his fingers moving on the skin of her arms.

As she layed her head back, she thought back to the events of the past fourteen days, letting her mind imagine that she was still there, not in her plain, stupid flat in Chicago. If she concentrated with all her might, (y/n) could even exclude the constant sound of cars under her window, something that she was usually a hundred percent used to and even found calming after a long day of work, but after such a holiday, it was nothing but annoying.

Tomorrow work starts again, she thought irritably, knowing that all she wanted was just get in her car and drive until she was in New York to find the guy she met on Kauai. She swiftly shook the thought away before it could totally ruin her mood and instead let these new memories fill her mind up again.

- - - - - - fourteen days earlier - - - - - -

(y/n) took a deep breath as her feet kicked away on the sand, already feeling calmer than she had felt in the past three years. It was the first time she got away from Chicago for a real holiday. Whenever she left the city, it was whether work stuff or visiting her family. She felt like it was well-deserved to finally spend two weeks on her own somewhere so far away from home.

The sound of waves crashing in the shore, the feeling of the grains of sand rolling around her naked feet, the wonderful view whichever way she looked at, the fact that she was alone on the beach as she mindlessly strolled around with her shoes in her hand, it was absolutely incredible, more than she ever thought it'd be.

(y/n) felt a smile make its way onto her face, something that rarely happened back in Chicago. At a particularly beautiful spot she stopped and sat down, enjoying the warmth that reached her skin even in the middle spring afternoon. She let out a contented sigh, leaning back on her hands behind her back, closing her eyes to enjoy the peacefulness.

Joe left his hotel room to find some peace and be alone for a while so when the first thing his eyes fell upon was another human being, he felt irritation fill up his chest. He wanted one thing and yet he couldn't have it. But he continued his way, determined to find a place he could fulfill his desire.

As he got closer, his eyes subconsciously travelled back at the person every other second and he started to notice the beauty radiating from her. He instantly felt drawn to her, as if he was attached to the woman with a thread someone was pulling to make him walk closer.

His mind was racing, trying to find a rational sentence to say other than 'I love you, marry me', but the situation got solved without the need of any as he tripped in his own feet at the last moment, only a few metres away from her.

Her eyes snapped open and her body jolted in surprise and he mentally cursed himself for being so clumsy. And I wanted to blow her mind away and ask her out, Joe thought, wanting nothing but to disappear from there.

"Sorry, I didn't wanna startle you," he offered her a small smile, hoping she wouldn't be mad at him.

"It's alright, I just thought no one else was on the beach," the woman smiled back at him.

"Yeah, me too, that's why I got out here in the first place," he chuckled before holding his hand out to her. "I'm Joe by the way."

"(y/n)."

As they shook hands, all he could ponder about was whether he only imagined the sparkle jolting through his palm and fingers or maybe, somehow, there was a chance that she felt it too?

She looked even more beautiful from this close, her (y/e/c) eyes shining in the orange-ish lights of the just starting sunset.

(y/n) felt a bit weird, this man had just came up to her without technically anything to say and now he just stared at her without another word. Should she be worried? But she stayed still, unable to move any muscle in her body as she silently examined him.

He was attractive and charming in a way she had never seen in a man before and suddenly all she wanted was spending more time with him, hearing more of his voice and that precious chuckle she had heard only a little snippet of a few minutes earlier.

"It's getting a bit creepy," she let out a giggle after a couple more seconds had passed, glancing down at their hands still holding each other, or more precisely, his hand holding hers.

Joe immediately let go of her and an embarrassed laugh escaped his lips as he turned his gaze away, hoping to somehow hide the blush that had obviously appeared on his face. Though if he didn't move his eyes, he would've seen the glint in (y/n)'s orbs, who found the way his cheeks turned pink adorable.

"It seems like we're about the only ones here," (y/n) spoke up to try and start a conversation.

"Oh yeah, even in my hotel it seemed like no other guests were there."

"Funny, I always thought this place is crowded all the time."

"Mind if I sit down?" Joe questioned as standing next to her sitting form, just looking down seemed more and more odd as the seconds passed. The girl just patted the sand next to her, smiling up at him, her eyes squinting a bit from the bright sky that framed his face.

They following couple hours flew by as if they were only moments, the conversation flowing unstoppably. They had so much in common that (y/n) couldn't help but wonder in the beginning if the man only pretended to be so similar to her. But his eyes shined with honesty, clear and bright, letting her know that it's just a strange but pleasant accident.

As if fate pushed the two of them close. But if it truly was fate, why did it wait for so long?

(y/n) waited for the right guy all her life, eventually giving up on ever finding him, but now as she was sitting in the sand with Joe, she felt that maybe it was him she was waiting for. Even if they only knew each other for a few hours, they connected as if they were two puzzle pieces.

"Do you maybe wanna get dinner together?" Joe asked out of nowhere and (y/n) felt like fainting, she spent the previous thirty minutes trying to find a reason to ask him the same thing and now she didn't even had to speak these words afraid of being rejected or worse, finding out that he had someone to get dinner with.

The man started to feel more and more worried, misunderstanding her silence and he was just about to take it all back when she finally opened her lips and said yes. The absolute happiness Joe felt was something he had never felt since being a kid.

He stood up and being the gentleman he always had been offered his hand for her to help her up, not letting go even when they started making their way back to civilisation. After a quick glance at the woman, seeing the pink hue of her cheeks, the way her eyes shined and the smile playing on her lips, he knew she was alright with it and from then on he didn't even try to hide how much he enjoyed it.

They found a small and lovely restaurant and ordered some food, their chat still never stopping. They talked about their jobs, their childhood, their dreams and desires.

"What?" (y/n) giggled after raising her glance back up at the man from her just arrived food and saw him stare at her with a weird expression.

He shook his head, his lips curving into an imbecile grin. "Oh don't mind me, just enjoying the view."

(y/n) felt the blood rush to her cheeks from the bold compliment. "Not much to enjoy," she mumbled to the plate in front of her.

"Oh, please," Joe frowned at her with stern eyes. "I have to disagree."

The girl just shook her head, not wanting to get in a debate about such a subject. And of course, it felt amazing to know that the man thought about her this way. Oh, if she was brave enough to tell him how the exact same thing entered her mind whenever she looked at him...

Long story short, their conversation continued, though with more silent spaces when they got back to enjoying their food. (y/n) hadn't felt this great in a pretty long time, it was such a pleasant dinner that she wished she could experience more frequently. She had wonderful company, a funny, smart and caring man, which in her experience was a rare combination.

At the end of the dinner Joe insisted on paying for her meal as well, no matter how hard she tried to reason him out of it.

"I don't really feel like going back to my hotel room this early," Joe spoke up, an unambiguous yet still unspoken suggestion hiding in his words.

"Me neither."

"Would you like to go back to the beach for a little walk?"

(y/n) smiled so brightly at the man that he needed no spoken answer to know what she's thinking. They set off with a slow and fine pace, walking close to each other but still not touching. Comfortable silence filled the air as they let the sound the peaceful waves of the ocean made fill their hearts and souls.

It didn't take long for Joe to position himself closer to the young woman, closer and closer with every step they took until his fingers ever so lightly brushed hers. He waited for a few moments, giving her enough time to turn down his approach. But her fingers didn't move further, and Joe could almost swear that a moment later he felt them press into his for a second.

He decided to take it as a sign and finally moved his hand so their fingers could freely intertwine. The soft skin of her fingertips felt incredible against his much more dehydrated and rough hand. It was almost equal to a luscious caress in his mind whilst from (y/n)'s point of view it was the raggedness tickling her fingers that sent shivers down her spine.

Under the moonlight everything seemed like they were in a real life fairytale or some romantic, cliché movie. The silver lunar light reflected in the deep blue water and gave the wet sand a magical glimmering. It was a heartwarming sight itself but with such company it seemed even more enchanting.

All of a sudden Joe came to a halt, and the light jolt in (y/n)'s hand made her stop as well, looking up at the man questioningly. He was already staring at her, but only the shining of his brown orbs could cross the darkness. The girl opened her mouth to ask him what it was that made him stop but he broke the silence before any word could have left her throat.

"Can I kiss you?"

The abrupt boldness completely took her aback. It was what she was hoping for since the beginning of their acquaintance and now it finally seemed to come true.

"Yes," she replied, her voice unintentionally raspy with anticipation.

Joe's heart fluttered in his chest and he started slowly leaning in. The girl could feel the impatience in her whole body and she hastened the situation with moving her head up towards his face.

Their lips met in the middle, nestling against each other delicately and softly.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Three days later (y/n) raised her arms to rub her eyes sleepily right after waking up. The sharp light made it hard for her to fully open them, she needed some time to get accustomed to it.

When she could finally do so, the first thing her glance met was the man grinning at her from the other side of the bed.

"Good morning," she greeted him, a wide smile making its way to her face.

"Hey," Joe replied before leaning in and pressing a lazy and lingering kiss on her lips.

A few seconds later the girl leant back, the happiness not leaving her cheeks and eyes for a single moment as she sat up, swinging her legs down the edge of the bed to stand up.

"You said my name in your sleep," the man's hoarse morning voice followed her as she slipped her feet inside the hotel slippers. She froze mid-movement, cheeks already burning up in slight embarrassment.

Would he think she was weird or creepy? Was he less serious about this than she was?

"It was adorable," Joe continued and (y/n) let out the breath she didn't even notice holding in.

He crawled closer on the bed and his hand touched her shoulder a moment later, caressing it all the way down to her wrist before grabbing it and bringing it back to his lips to press a loving kiss inside her palm.

(y/n) grinned down at the man before finally standing up to walk into the bathroom to do her morning routine.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

"You're so cute when you pout like that," Joe chuckled, his hand holding the ice cream up in the air where (y/n) couldn't reach it.

"You won't find me so cute if you don't give it to me in the next few seconds," the girl retorted within a second.

Joe laughed even more at the threat, but eventually lowered his arm so she could get to the oh so waited treat. (y/n) happily eyed it before leaning it and licking a stripe along the frozen dessert. He couldn't resist the urge and slightly pushed his hand up, successfully smearing the ice cream on her face.

"Hey!" She exclaimed. "Don't waste it!"

"I'm not," he replied before moving closer and kissing the already melting yet somehow still cold cream off her skin, eventually arriving to her lips. They shared a playful and passionate kiss before continuing their stroll.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The two of them moved around the hotel furniture clumsily, refusing to pull away, instead accepting bumping into every second thing in their way as they tried to reach the bed.

(y/n) felt her feet tripping in what probably was one of the legs of the chair they just passed by, and she almost broke the contact falling back before his strong arms tightened on her waist, probably sensing the upcoming fall, and he held her impossibly close until she could feel the ground securely under her feet again.

During the past week both of them kinda memorised the route in Joe's hotel room from the door to the bed, it was an unspoken decision that they used this room instead of hers, it became a kind of habit in the first few days.

No words were spoken since they shared their first heated kiss of the night and it stayed like that until they were already laying on the bed, Joe pressing small, sloppy kisses on her neck and collarbone before opening his mouth to an almost too quiet to be heard whisper, luckily with his lips right next to the girl's ears so she could actually manage to understand his words. "I'm in love with your body."

(y/n)'s eyes kindled in a new light, a different warmth spreading across her chest as she moved her head to be able to stare the man in the eyes, those beautiful shiny, chocolate brown coloured orbs.

I never want this to end, she thought but said nothing, afraid that Joe didn't feel that way and that it might ruin it all. Whatever this is, it's the best thing in my life.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"I don't want to leave."

(y/n) knew how pathetic she sounded as her teary eyes stared at the ground next to their feet and her shaking voice broke the awkward silence.

Neither of them could find the right words to speak, words that could help causing less damage, words that could make this departure easier. They stood inside the airport, the girl's suitcase between them as they tried to figure out what to do or what to say before she eventually had to step through the gate and leave this island to go back to her average, boring life.

"I know," Joe replied quietly. "I don't want you to go just as much."

The distant sound of a woman's voice coming from a speaker somewhere above them reached their ears, announcing that it was time for her to actually move her legs away from the man.

"So this is the end," she announced and he nodded hesitantly, his eyes fluttering to the side and back to her face.

"Are you sure we can't keep in touch?" He asked. "Maybe we could meet someday."

"I can't make any promises," (y/n) shook her head, flashbacks of her strict and insensitive boss and her constant working coming to her head.

She couldn't afford such an emotional instability this something between them would be. They had different lives, different jobs, living in two cities so far from each other.

He had movies to shoot, Hollywood waiting for him. He travelled between LA, New York, or the other cities he had his movies made, and (y/n) knew that Chicago wasn't high up on that list. Was there any point in chatting, FaceTiming or writing letters, whatever, if they could never meet?

He'd eventually meet another woman, it's inevitable, and it'd be only worse, breaking her heart even more than if they didn't keep in touch in the first place. She told him this already a couple times, and even though he seemed like understanding it and agreeing, he always brought this question back up, making her feel like a heartless monster for not giving them a chance.

Joe sighed, knowing she was right but still not wanting to accept it. He liked her too much to just let her go like this, but she gave no chance for him. He tightened his grip on her hand one last time, wanting to let her know of everything he was feeling.

"If you keep squeezing that hard, you'll break my hand," (y/n) tried to lighten the mood, a weak chuckle escaping her lips. She managed to get his lips curve into a small smile, not the wide, happiness-radiating one that could make her heartbeat fasten any time, but still closer to it than the serious expression that was on his face since they woke up.

Another announcement came, and (y/n) started to pull away, her free hand grabbing the handle of her suitcase.

"Can I kiss you?" Joe couldn't keep it in and let the words leave his lips, the same words he had spoken only fourteen days earlier.

(y/n) let out a small gasp before nodding, letting the man step closer again, closer and closer until the front of their bodies finally touched and he dived in for a sweet, lingering kiss.

"I hope you'll never forget me and our little holiday," he whispered against her lips.

He pulled away and after a small wave of his hand he turned around and walked out of the airport building.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(y/n) opened her eyes to dim street lights entering her living room. For a moment she just let her eyes roam around her surroundings, taking in the modern but somehow boring greyness of her apartment.

The cold temperature hit her skin, sending a shiver down her spine and she just now realised that she was still wearing the thin shirt she put on that morning back on Kauai, something that proved not to be enough against the cool Chicago weather.

With a sigh leaving her lips she stood up and walked to the bathroom to take a quick shower and brush her teeth before she eventually entered her bedroom and fell on her bed to sleep through the night.

Waking up felt miserable. The sleep she got was anything but relaxing. Her dreams were filled with Joe and the events of the past two weeks, making her heartbeat fasten as she was tossing and turning in her bed.

Sleepily she strolled to the kitchen, making herself a cup of coffee and drinking it standing at the exact same spot, staring at the wall mindlessly. When the mug was empty, she placed it in the dishwasher and went back to her room, pulling out the first shirt and elegant pair of pants her fingers touched.

She got dressed and left her apartment still not paying attention to anything around her. Silence filled her mind, no serious thoughts appearing inside as the hours passed by. She survived the day and got back home, eyes falling on the suitcase and backpack standing at the exact same spot she left them the day before when she arrived.

"You gotta do it sometime," (y/n) muttered to herself. "Let's just get it over with now."

With a few groans escaping her she pushed and kicked the bags waiting to be unpacked into her room, and after unzipping the suitcase, she turned it to the side so the clothes inside could fall out to the floor.

She knelt down next to them, and started piling them in two heaps, colourful and white, so she could do the washing easier and faster when she'd find the energy to do so. As she was moodily throwing the pieces of clothing, a piece of paper fell out and slowly floated to the ground a few metres away from her.

Her eyes narrowed and a frown creased her forehead as she stared at it deep in thought. What the hell was that? She clearly remembered not putting any paper in between her clothes. After another moment of pondering she got on her knees and crawled towards the note, picking it up and smoothing it out before sitting back down and letting her eyes move over the words scribbled on it.

"I know that you don't want to keep in touch and/or meet again, but these past two weeks were one of the bests in my entire life and I would really love to see you again. So if there's any chance you'll change your mind sometime, here's my number and address. Yours, Joe"

(y/n) felt a breath hitch in her throat, tears filling her eyes as her finger caressed his name on the paper. Suddenly the things she told him seemed ridiculous, why didn't she give them a chance? Maybe they could make it work out.

Right now, sitting on the floor of her plain, dull room, saying goodbye for good seemed like a terrible idea. And she did it still. Oh, how could she be so stupid?

She swiftly got up, eyes frantically moving around to find her phone as soon as possible. When she caught sight of it, she almost threw herself at it with the newly found determination, flying across the room.

With shaking fingers she unlocked the device and opened her messaging app, carefully but still nervously typing the numbers Joe wrote on the note before texting him the first thing that came to her mind.

Hey, I was thinking a lot and you were right. We should try to keep this going. I had the time of my life with you. Xx

She stood there in nerve-wracking silence for what felt like eternity, though in less than ten minutes her phone beeped, signaling a new message and she let out the breath she was holding in, eyes skimming over his words.

And for the first time in the past 48 hours she felt an honest, real smile form on her face, splitting it in two in happiness.

.::the end::.

my masterlist

#joe mazzello #song drabble #joe mazzello imagine #joe mazzello fanfiction #joe mazzello x reader #fanfic #x reader #masterlist #nonstoplover #imagine #fanfiction #jurassic park #john deacon #bohemian rhapsody #undrafted #sand in my shoes #dido #dear sidewalk #the pacific

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dizzying-faust · 4 years

Text

3 Men 1 Beach House

So I decided to start writing fanfiction and this is my first story hope you enjoy it!

May contain some slight N/S/F/W

Also on Ao3

“Hurry up! Hurry up! The storm is getting crazier!”

Yelled a bearded man with short brown hair. He was running to the beach house with two other guys following him, a short man with a long, blonde beard wearing what appears to be something of royalty and the other who was older than the two, almost in his 80s, wearing a woolen hat and a heavy beige coat. The three managed to get to the beach house in the heavy rain all soaking wet.

“Note to self, never try to go out boating before a big storm happens.” says the brown-haired man.

“Oh come on Greg!” the blond, bearded man yelled. “It’s not that bad! Back on Mewni, we Johansen’s all love fishing in the rain!”

“Yeah to you River,” The man, named Greg, replied. “But not us. Look at Joseph! He looks like he's about to pass out!”

“Don’t worry...about me…” The old man, named Joseph, tiredly. “I’m just not used to running that fast...blame old age.” As he finished his words, he walked slowly to the couch to catch his breath. Greg looked at him with a look of guilt.

“I’m sorry for making you run in that rain, I wished I could have brought enough umbrellas for the two of you. And I hate that you have to stay over here away from your wife.”

“Oh, it’s okay. I’ll let Suzi know where I am. Say, where are those three girls of yours?”

“Oh, you mean the gems? They are probably taking care of the other gems back in Little Homeworld.”

When Greg finished his reply, he started walking upstairs to his (well actually his son Steven’s) room. “I’m gonna go change my clothes, be back shortly.”

While Greg disappeared into his bedroom, River looked at Joseph with a miffed look on his face. Not hesitating to take off his coat in front of Joseph, revealing his naked body. “Pfft! That Greg, what does he know?”

River turned around to speak to Joseph, but before he could say something he noticed how the old man was awkwardly staring into him, almost like he was in amazement of something.

“Ummm...Joseph?” River questioned. “Are you okay?”

Joseph immediately snapped out of his daze when he heard River’s words. “Oh, um….sorry. I guess I was in a zone. That rain was getting to me.”

“...Okay, I’m just going to talk to Greg.”

River walked upstairs as Joseph was resting on the couch to continue catching his breath. What was that moment?

----

Upstairs, Greg was laying on the bed, shirtless, he still couldn’t get over what happened today. It was meant to be a nice day out to go boating with his River and Joseph on the new boat he brought with his money. Ever since his son left to travel the states, the latter two became comfort buddies to him. Sure there was Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl, but they were busy with their own lives to hang out with him. Plus, it was nice to have male friends compared to the female friends he met. Though River almost ruined it by going diving into the ocean to go fishing his way. He almost started to drown until thankfully Greg was able to pull him out with a net that was installed with the boat. It also didn’t help that it was starting to rain which later turned into a big storm the moment they pulled him in. Still, despite this, he did admit it was nice while it lasted.

“Greg?”

Greg stopped with his thoughts when he heard someone calling his name. It was River who was also standing on the top of the stairs, shirtless. It didn’t take a while to notice how...kind hot he is with those abs. Come to think of it, he did notice during the boat trip when River was shirtless on the boat, he would always notice how hot he was. Wait, why was he thinking these kinds of things? It wasn’t like he was into guys was he? Before he could think more...unusual thoughts, he was interrupted by River calling his name again.

“Oh, sorry River! What’s up?”

“I just wanted to check on you. Are you okay?”

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine. Is Joseph okay?

“Yeah, he’s just resting. Ya, mind if I join you?”

At first, Greg wanted to say no thanks, but for some reason, he just couldn’t say no.

“Sure I don’t….mind.”

River questioned Greg hesitance, but shrugged it off, walked over to the bed and layed down with Greg on the bed.

For the next few minutes, it was almost complete silence, like they didn’t know what else to say. They both just stared at the ceiling, along with their thoughts. Then, River suddenly broke the silence.

“Um...Greg.”

“Yes, River?”

“Do you think I’m a bad friend?” “What!?” Greg yelled out. “I don’t think you’re a bad friend at all! Sure you can be crazy at times, but not a bad friend!”

Despite Greg’s positive answer, it didn’t seem to uplift his mood.

“Is this about what happened on the boat?” Greg asked. “Because look as much as that nearly drowned, at least you’re okay.”

“Yeah,” River replied. “But I nearly ruined your boating trip. Maybe I don’t deserve to be your-”

Before River could finish, Greg picked him up from his shoulders to stare him in the face.

“Look River. I’ve met a lot of strange people, even my wife was just as strange as you. You may be crazy but you’re NOT a bad friend. You’re brave and strong. And that’s why I....”

Greg was almost tongue-tied at that last word.

“I….”

“I what?”

Greg couldn’t say anything. All he could do was move closer and kiss River on the lips. River was confused at this, but for some reason, he didn’t feel pushing Greg back and just let Greg finish the kiss. When Greg moved back, he was breathing heavily. Like, he can’t believe he just did that.

“Wha...what was that?” River questioned.

“I...I think I like you.” Greg answered.

“You what?”

“I mean I like, like you. I dunno when it came to be, but ever since you came to my life, I just have been having these feelings for you.”

As Greg finished his confession, he expected River to either react with disgust or scold him for the kiss. But instead, he reacted with a hearty laugh. And grabbed Greg on the shoulder.

“Oh, Greg.” River finally replied. “That is such a relief because I’ve been having feelings for you too!”

“Wait, what? You actually like...as in like like me?”

“Yep!”

“But don’t you have Moon, you’re wife?”

“Eh, she probably wouldn’t mind. After all, there is always room for one more.”

Greg was confused at how happily River was taking this. Especially this was a man who was already married and risking cheating on his wife. But on the other hand, he didn’t care. As long as River was happy, he was happy.

“So what do you want to do now?” Greg asked.

River grabbed the arms “Let’s make out.” And immediately kissed him, harder than Greg’s kiss. Greg didn’t hesitate and kissed back harder as well.

----

Downstairs, having woken up from his little nap, Joseph started taking off his hat, coat, and flip flops, leaving him in nothing but his shorts and a tank top. He still has his muscular figure, but he wasn’t as strong as he was in his younger years. He looked around wondering what was taking River so long, hoping he would be coming back downstairs after talking to Greg. Slowly, he walked upstairs, expecting that he and Greg were fast asleep.

But he could be no wrong.

What he saw instead was the two men, naked, making out. At first, he was about to shout his expected “OH MY GOD” line, but he didn’t have the urge to. In fact, he kinda liked seeing the two men making out.

As both Greg and River were tongue wrestling with each other, Greg spotted Joseph. The sight of him caused him to immediately push River off of him as he stumbled his words trying to explain himself.

“Oh Joseph, I...I didn’t see you there!”

“Were you two, making out?” he asked.

Greg was almost tempted to explain himself, but River stood up and interrupted him.

“Yes we were making out!” he answered the old man. “And what about it, we love each other and that’s final! What are you gonna do about it.”

When River said those last lines proudly, Joseph immediately walked over to him. Greg wasn’t sure what he was going to do to River. But what happened next was something that he didn’t expect. As Joseph went near River, he grabbed the blonde man by the shoulders, slowly moved near his face, and kissed him hard. Greg looked at this scene in complete shock, that the old man was suddenly kissing his new lover. And he wasn’t alone on this as River was just as shocked as Greg that Joseph was kissing him. He pushed Joseph away from him as he wiped his lip from that weird kiss.

“What the hell was that?!” River yelled in anger.

“That was a kiss,” Joseph replied. “I kissed you.”

“But, but why?! Aren’t you married?”

“Says you. Besides, Suzi is old news, was going to divorce me anyway, so why not get a new lover?”

River was in shock that he was cheating on his wife, though he wasn’t one to talk since he was doing the same to Greg.

“You know what!” Greg yelled out, “Who cares about our wives! My wife is gone and she probably would have been happy that I’m moving on. So honestly...”

As Greg said his last line, he crawled across the bed to Joseph, grabbed his head, and kissed him, hard and passionately. Joseph, despite the suddenness of this, kissed back and leaned over towards Greg. Greg started taking off his tank top, leaving him in nothing but his naked body, showing off his abs.

“Huh, didn’t know you still have muscle in you.”

“That’s what keeping healthy is for!”

“Hey!” River yelled out. “What about me?”

“Oh don’t worry,” said Joseph “You’re welcome as well!”

River squealed in delight as he joined back in with Greg, this time with Joseph around. What turned into a simple makeout turned into a three-man threesome. Greg was passionately kissing Joseph as River was kissing Greg’s back. All three men grinding each other with them moaning in passion, feeling themselves in the heat of this new love affair. As they were in the middle of this orgy, Joseph felt something in his shorts. Breaking from the kiss, he took off his shorts and sure enough, there was something sticking out of his underwear.

No….

“What’s wrong?” Greg asked.

“I think…” Joseph answered. “I think I got a boner.”

NO….

Greg crawled over to Joseph and noticed his erection. He starts pulling his underwear down and was met with his big, long…

NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

----

“Aw come on I was just getting to the good part!” Peridot yelled.

“No!” Josuke yelled. “I don’t fucking care! I’m done! I’m fucking done! God, I can’t get the image of Mr. Joestar’s balls out of my head. UGH!”

Apparently, Peridot gathered everyone to the beach house to listen to the new story she’s been writing. Ever since she’s been binge-watching the new Camp Pining Hearts reboot, she’s been on a roll with making these stories, or fanfics as she heard. But lately, it has taken to writing fanfics about people she knew.

“Oh come on, my fanfic was getting good. Right guys?”

The crowd, composed of Steven (via video call), Connie, Amethyst, Pearl, Garnet, Jotaro, Josuke, and Star, were all in agreement of what the heck was going on with the story. Especially, how it would have continued if Josuke hadn’t interrupted.

Steven and Connie just looked at each other silently in disgust. The former wished he could have stopped Peridot sooner, but he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Especially since she wrote stories about him and Connie before, minus the…weirder parts. Pearl’s reaction was also the same as Steven and Connie’s. Especially when she noticed how Greg was written, not himself in his story. Amethyst was different from the three as she looked like she was about to burst out laughing. Sure she was disgusted, but the way the story was written was so bad it was funny, but she held her composure to try and not hurt Peri’s feelings. Garnet didn’t show a reaction, but she also was not fond of Peri’s story. And with her future vision, she knew what happened next was not going to be even more pretty. Jotaro was also the same. He was thankfully glad his grandmother, Suzi Q, was not here to hear the story. Especially during the part where Joseph said he was going to cheat on her, considering their current issues. Josuke was the most expressive about his disgust with the story. To the point he wished Crazy Diamond to come and fix his eyes from imagining his dad privates and almost doing the do. Finally, Star sat there with a blank stare. Apparently, that story broke her that she couldn’t muster out the words. She just couldn’t believe she had to read about her dad cheating on her mom.

“So?” Peridot asked again, breaking the silence. “What do you think of my story so far?”

“Well…” Steven replied. “It could use a little work”

“Yeah, a lot of work.”

“Definitely, a lot of work.”

“Ditto.”

“Seconded.”

“Eh, it was okay.”

“Please…”

“...Uh, I mean yeah you do need a lot of work with your story.”

“Well,” Peridot looked at the paper. “There are a few errors, maybe I should go and fix them before I read the rest.”

“Few is saying something.” said Josuke before getting a hit in the head by an invisible fist (probably Star Platinum).

As Peridot is walking to the warp pad to go back to Little Homeworld and everyone is going back to normal business, they are all interrupted by the sound of the front door opening.

“Hey everyone, we’re back!” yelled Greg as he busted in wearing his captain’s outfit. Alongside him were Joseph wearing a tank top, shorts, and flip flops holding baby Shizuka, and River, who had no shirt on and was just in his pants, apparently soaking wet.

“Hey, Dad!” Steven yelled over the phone.

“Hey, Steven! How’re your travels?”

“It’s been fine. Just taking a break. How are you doing?”

“Oh me, Joseph, and River just came back from a boating trip.”

“Yeah,” spoke Joseph. “It was a wacky adventure.”

“What do you mean whacky?” Steven asked.

The two men didn’t say anything, only pointing to a soaking wet River Butterfly.

“Dad,” Star questioned. “What did you do?”

“What? All I did was do fishing my way!” River angrily shouted out. “And in the end, we did survive. I even caught a big, long-”

River’s words were interrupted by the sound of Josuke screaming and running into the bathroom. They could hear the sound of him retching and throwing up. The three men stared at whatever the heck just happened.

“I was just going to say I caught a big, long mackerel. What’s wrong with him?”

“It’s a long story…” Steven meekly replied.

#c's writings #steven universe #star vs the forces of evil #svtfoe #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba #greg universe #river butterfly #river johansen #joseph joestar #crossover

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chocobroness · 6 years

Text

Here’s the one-shot I promised!

Prompto is like...8 In this. Can’t really decide.

I’m gonna leave this here before my anxiety tells me no.

—

He could always hear the singing, no matter what. He didn’t hear them that well but, sometimes when he was sad, or when it was night time and he was scared, the singing got just a bit louder. Like it was trying to make him feel better.

He liked the singing. Even if he didn’t know what the singing was. Even if he couldn’t hear what was being sung. He tried to explain it to his mom and dad, but they would only look at him oddly and say they couldn’t hear anything.

No one could hear it, and eventually he stopped talking about it. But he didn’t mind. Because it made him feel special, like the singing was just for him.

No matter where he went or how alone he was, the singing stayed with him. he liked that.

he liked the feeling of not being alone.

Today he had been a little excited, he was going on a trip to Galdin Quay with his parents, its been so long since they spent time together as a family and anytime spent with them was a treasure he did his best to cherish.

They had gotten there early morning to check in and had spent the day enjoying the beach and the yummy food. By night time, he had taken lots of photos with his camera, planning on sharing his photos with them later that night, like he used to when they were less busy with work.

Or he would have, had they not run into a business associate of theirs and soon left him to his own devices.

So here he was, hidden within the cover of night, sitting far away from the pier and watching the waves hit his bare feet.

He was told to be careful at night, because of the daemons they said, but he didn't care, maybe his parents would notice him if he was in the dark long enough.

He closed his eyes. Paying attention to the soft singing that never leaves him, letting himself relax as it grew just a bit louder than normal.

"Now this is curious."

"Ah!"

He jumped and spun around, his heart pounding so hard against his chest. His eyes immediately landed on the one that frightened him.

He was really tall, taller than both his parents. his hair was kinda purple-lish red, and his eyes yellow but not really. The man was smiling as he walked closer to him.

"My apologies, I had no intention of startling you. Merely curious as to what a young boy like you was doing sitting alone at such a dangerous time." Prompto ducked his head, hiding his face in his knees.

"Quite brave of you to be here." The man continued, having now crouched down beside him, uncaring of the fact that his pant legs were getting wet.

"But bravery can also become foolish with enough quantities."

"...M'sorry."

"Quite alright child." The tall man looked out to the sea, where the moon was large and full, almost touching the ocean line.

"Might I inquire your name?" Name? Oh, that's right, he hadn't given the man his name, mom would be mad if she heard that he was rude.

"I'm Prompto, nice to meet you."

"A pleasure young Prompto, you may call me Ardyn" The talking stopped for a little while after, but Prompto didn't mind, he just listened to the singing in his head, and he didn't feel as lonely as usual with the strange man, Ardyn, next to him.

He closed his eyes and lost himself to the sound of the waves and the songs,

Songs that were surprisingly louder than normal.

He could almost make out words. Words he didn't understand, words that seem so different than what he heard spoken by everyone around him, words that spun such pretty sounds.

And the man next to him was humming along to the very tune of the songs.

He looked at him, never having met another person who could hear the singing like him. Did that mean he wasn't alone? That there was a reason he could hear the singing?

Ardyn glanced at the boy next to him and noticed him staring.

"Curious about my humming?" He smirked when Prompto seemed to realize what he was doing and turn red in embarrassment. But he nodded in response to his question.

"Well, its a special melody, not everyone can hear it." He seemed to be amused by his own words. "Not everyone gets a chance to hear it for long."

"Is..."Prompto tried to figure out how to word it. "Is it special when you do hear it for a long time?"

Ardyn tilted his head, seeming to ponder the boy's question.

"In a way, " He started slowly. "There once was a time, that people knew of those who could hear the melody, many searched for those who could, but none could be found. Or rather, none wanted to be found."

Prompto was now curious, not realizing that the singing grew louder, more possessive in a way.

"Why wouldn't they want to be found?”

“They were very special. So special, the gods themselves were envious of them. For it was rumored that the songs they heard were connected to an entity that was more powerful than the combined power of the gods we worship today.”

“Woooow!” Ardyn chuckled at the look of amazement being shown by the boy.

“Indeed, But the gods were not pleased by the melody and demanded that no one listen to it again. Those that could, would not abandon the entity on the jealous whims of the six, so they hid, and the melody hid with them."

"And no one heard about them again?"

"Indeed, lost to the seas of time and history." Prompto couldn't help but look down, thinking about what he heard. Why would they hide? Was it bad? Was it really that dangerous to be able to hear the singing?

"Oh no, They simply wished to be hidden, forgotten by the world." Prompto blushed as he realized he spoke aloud.

"S-so that means no one could hear the singing anymore?"

"Well...not completely true. After all, I can." Prompto perked up, the man's face showing amusement.

"Really?'

"Of course, it would be useless to know of such people if I myself could not hear what they were known for."

He could feel his heart pound heavily against his chest, because here was someone who could really hear the same thing he could, that could tell him more about why he could hear them.

"I..."

"Hm...?"

Prompto was nervous, but his curiosity towards the subject was strong at this point.

"I...you..do you know how you can find out if someone can hear the singing too?” Ardyn stared at him, a moment of silence passed by them, Prompto fidgeting under his eyes.

"...Close your eyes" Prompto blinked in confusion, before doing so. After a moment of nothing, he felt of hand rest itself on his head.

"Huh?"

"Relax child." Prompto took a deep breath and let it out, trying to do as he said.

He paid attention to the singing. listening to strange words that seemed so otherworldly.

He listened to them as they became louder than ever before.

Heard as the voices singing seemed to realize that they were becoming clearer to his ears. Felt as his being was flooded with their joy and pleasure at finally being heard by their young listener.

So loud, the singing, it was as if he was surrounded by thousands and thousands of people, all wanting to be heard by him and him alone.

He never had anyone feel that way about him, not even his parents.

And here was this strange man, giving to him something he had wanted for so long in his short life.

He felt the hand leave his head, felt himself panic for a moment as the singing grew quieter, but immediately calming down when he realized he could still hear them clearly, still could make out different voices, and different words. So very different but seeming to fit perfectly well within each other.

"Are you alright child?" He opened his eyes and looked at them man, gentle concern in his eyes. Prompto slowly reached up to touch his own cheeks.

They were wet, he had not realized he began crying, overwhelmed by such potent emotions.

"I'm glad I met you." Was all he could say to the man, his voice hoarse as if he had cried greatly for hours.

"Oh?" The man seemed surprised at that, Prompto felt that he wasn't surprised easily. But that didn't matter to him.

"I'm not alone anymore." He smiled at him, big and bright, and so very genuine.

"I can hear them now." Ardyn didn't seem to register what the boy was saying for a moment, having not felt this unaware in such a long time.

"I'm so happy. I could never hear them so clearly before! And it’s all because of you! All I want to do is sit here and listen to this singing forever!”

The man stilled at the child’s words.

“You can... hear them...truly.” But Prompto wasn’t paying anymore attention to him. Closing his eyes and focusing on the beautiful singing that was so wonderfully clear to him now, humming along to them, feeling the rush of joy that surged through him as the singing acknowledged and matched him tune for tune.

Ardyn watched the child slowly sway to the unheard song. A song no one else has heard since the fall of Solheim. Since he had walked down the path of immortality. He reached out. Gently grasping the boy’s head and pulling him close. Pressing his lips against golden locks with a tenderness that he had not used since those days so very long ago. When all that matter were him, his brother, and the future ahead.

“My dear, precious rarity.” He murmured quietly, closing his now bright golden eyes, the scourge exposing itself and listening alongside the boy to the songs and whispers of the daemons and souls beyond and within.

“The gods that damned me may not have planned for your birth, or for our meeting, but it seems Mother Eos and Lady Etro have granted me a gift i shall not take for granted." He felt the daemons within, countless, separate from him yet all connected to one being, roar in what seemed to be agreement. As if placing claim on the boy themselves.

‘Somnus, if you could be here now.’ He thought, holding the boy close. ‘If you could be by my side and see this young child.’

“You won't be alone Prompto.” He whispered in the language of old, the words slipping from his tongue as if he never stop speaking them. “Not anymore."

—

(I would most certainly like if you told me what you thought of this. Please and thank you!)

#ffxv #final fantasy xv #fic idea #prompto argentum #ardyn lucis caelum #ardyn izunia

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chocobostrinket · 6 years

Text

Hibiscus

LeviathanxReader

Notes: PFFT This is a pairing I never thought I’d be writing, but I saw this odd/hilarious/cool post about how to woo Leviathan. Like, this small idea took off in my head and the only way to get it out was to write it. (This is all @joioliviapolaroid‘s fault pfft, hope you don’t mind I wrote this.)

Summary: You’ve spent your life in love with the sea, and she just happened to like you enough not to kill you on sight the first time you met. 2969 words.

It started when you were young.

At the time, you were a child playing in the ocean. The waves pushed at your shins as you danced in the tide. The water was a soundless song, the tempo dictated by the moon’s cycle. Part of you wondered why the water followed it so closely, but the rest of you didn’t want to think, enjoying the water in the way only a child could. You saw beauty and peace where adults would look at the waves with fear.

Maybe that’s why you saw her.

Playing in the water had caused you to lose track of time. The sun was almost all the way down, and moon just beginning to rise. A rare twilight, where both moonlight and sunlight met on the beach. What pulled you out of your revelry was the sight of a woman in the water as you were. Only she wasn’t dancing. She stood still and looked to the horizon.

She was gorgeous, in a way you couldn’t quite name. Her skin was dark, the color of sharp rocks near the cliff, darkened by the water that was constantly sharpening their points. A rich black that could only come from the combination of earth and sea. Across her body were bright blue tattoos. So reflective was the ink, it was as if the waves depicted on her were taken right from the sea in the middle of a bright sunny day. Her face was warm and strong, and her eyes were hard. But not cold. Rather, they were deep. Dark and soothing. There was no other way to describe them. And her dress blended seamlessly with the sea foam at her ankles, flowing around her legs as if there was a gentle breeze.

And while she was so gorgeous, you were a child. So the only thing you fixated on was the bright red flower tucked behind her ear, held in place by her many braids. It didn’t take long for you to walk up to her, and while normally, the sight of another person to play with would have brought you running, something inside you told you to walk. To be on your best behavior. And upon reaching her, she turned to look at you, a subtle look of surprise on her face. With her eyebrows slightly raised, she knelt in the water to be on your level.

“Hi.” You said softly, shyly, which was out of character for you. “Why do you have that flower in your hair?”

She tilted her head slightly, and seemed to regard you with rarely used curiosity. When she spoke, it was the same song of the tides that met your ears.

“It was made for me, and so it is my favorite.”

And with that, she rose back to her feet, seemingly having sated her curiosity.

“Child, run back the way you came.” Without touching your shoulders, she guided you to turn around. “Go, and do not look back.”

With words so grave, you felt compelled to listen, and did as she wished. It wasn’t until you were back on the grass further up from the beach, your family’s home in sight, that you felt safe enough to turn around. You watched as she stepped out of the water, and walked along the beach. But then, while you were watching, she slowly faded out of sight. Where her hand had hovered above your shoulder, a mark of two lines appeared. Like her own tattoos, they depicted waves. Only, it looked like a birthmark rather than the blue of her own, and for years to come would be unnoticed by you.

That night, your mother told you to story of Leviathan, a feared beast, the anger of the ocean. Mother of the tides and spirit of the deep. Your mother also told you of how people used to worship her, pray to her, and she never listened. Taking loved ones and drowning them. The vicious waves and currents that could steal someone from the beach if they dared turn their back on her. Cruelly ending lives before they’d begun. People vanishing on the water never to be seen again. She was to be feared, reviled, but respected.

But that day, the woman had given you a gift. Now, when you looked at the tides, the song that was once silence had turned into symphonies of creation and destruction in equal measure.

When you were a teenager, you’d gone back to the beach many times, nearly daily, hoping to get a glimpse of the woman again. The threat of daemons rising from the sands nearby, and the long trek home in the dark, did not daunt you. You’d learned from the hunters how to evade, and were aided by the sand refusing to give under your feet when you ran. Of course danger was ever present, but there was no where you felt safer than the beach.

Now that you were older, you were sure that the woman you had seen that day had been the goddess of the sea herself. Only, you’d never seen her again after that night. But you held faith in your heart, and had nothing but kind thoughts for the goddess. In the water, before the sunset and after the moon rose, you would leave flowers on the edge of the waves. Red ones. Always red. The next morning when you’d come back, some of them would be returned to you, sitting on the sand as if the water had rejected them.

But the red hibiscus flowers were always gone.

Eventually, you’d stopped bringing all others, and even made a ritual out of talking to the waves about your day when you’d sent them. As long as you knew that someone was there, listening silently, it helped you when you were hurt, and made you happy when you weren’t. Occasionally, on certain days, you’d whisper old prayers that you’d learned from an old woman in town. Ones that still remembered the goddess before her rage, and offered her the respect and reverence that had been stripped from her when all that man spoke of was her anger.

They spoke of protection, and of a long-forgotten title.

Sometimes, you’d read from your journal that you kept of writing and drawings. Poems you’d written for her, made from the memory of a child who didn’t know she was supposed to be feared. And as you aged, you spoke of her beauty, never mentioning the danger she was known for. You wrote of the sea as a person, capable of anger and love. Some of them were ever written to the melody of the waves, becoming instead songs of the sea. Drawings of the memory of her tattoos, colored to match their brilliance. But you’d never been able to capture their exact color. Portraits of her eyes. The hem of her dress as it had blended into the foam. There were also drawings of ships and sailors preparing to leave the shores. Or the hibiscus flowers you grew and would pick just for the ocean.

And for the first time that day, you’d finished a journal.

As you thumbed through its contents while sitting on the sand, you realized you didn’t know what to do with it. Poems no one else had read, drawings never seen by anyone but you.

It felt right, when you cast it into the waves with the flower.

“It’s for you.” Was all you said that day, and then you turned and left to go back home.

As an adult, people were beginning to whisper about you. You’d grown unparalleled in beauty, unrivaled in kindness, and known for having a strange connection to the sea. There were many suitors that you’d rejected in your small seaside town, and all would meet unlucky fates at the hands of the waves. As if the sea itself was warning them away from trying again. And for the few that insisted on trying to force you into a relationship you didn’t want, it was rare they came back from their next trip on the sea.

Some began calling you Leviathan’s kindness. Her priestess. The woman who was given gifts from the waves. Whereas people knew that the goddess was anything but kind and would only hurt those who dared to try crossing her waters, you could heal with what she would use to hurt.

Women would come to you for multiple reasons. Some for love spells, to give a man’s heart a nudge, or to grant him the courage needed take the next step. Those spells were easy, but would take time. Others to escape. For a way out of their situation. To heal their bruises and their souls. Those were longer, but took effect almost instantly.

“Take this seashell, and when you see him next, crush it over your heart. And then you shall be free from the love you feel for him.” You told one woman, who’s eye you had helped heal with sea water when it had been swollen shut. You ensured that she wouldn’t be blind in that eye, and the rest of her bruises, after being massaged with a paste of hibiscus petals and sea foam, were gone by the next day.

You placed the seashell in a sachet of linen, easily hidden in the front pocket of the woman’s shirt, and handed it to her. “Then you must take a boat away from here, but have no destination in mind. Cast away your oars and lay down in the boat and sleep. She will take care of you if you trust her. When you arrive at safety, throw a bottle with words you feel are right back into the water.”

“Thank you,” The woman said, “Thank you so much.”

Others began to call you a sea witch.

“Where is she?!” The man raged, days after the woman’s visit, throwing the things in your home into disarray. Papers strew about in rage, books thrown carelessly on the floor, bottles of water upended, and seashells, the gifts the sea left for you, smashed to pieces. Outside, you could feel a storm building in your bones.

With the sea behind you outside the window, with its song ever present, you were brave.

“Gone. You’ll never hurt her again.”

Your eyes were as cold as the sea in winter, and he continued raging. The man wanted to get his way. He threw a piece of broken bottle at you, it’s jagged end catching your cheek. You allowed the blood to drip down your face and fall to the floor, where it mixed with the sea water he’d spilled. The cut was deep, but you didn’t care.

But she did.

The sound of a bellowing scream came from the sea, and the man paled.

“Witch!” He spat, before fleeing your home to run back to the town.

You’d never heard that sound from the sea before, and went outside to see what could have made it. But also, to show that you were unharmed. And the only thing you saw was the crashing of the waves on the sand.

That night, the song changed. Creation had never sounded so soft, nor destruction so soothing. Barefooted, you left your home and walked down to the beach, and then into the water to stand where you were when you were a child. This time it was fully night, but the moon was already setting. Yet, even with the difference, you could feel her there. You took a few steps further out into the sea, and waited. And when you felt that it was time, you turned around.

There she stood, ankle deep in the ocean, looking exactly as she did all those years ago. It was as if she had never left that spot. But this time she beckoned to you. The movement was like a siren’s call, and you couldn’t do anything else but follow.

Slow measured steps, following her at a respectable distance. You never took your eyes off her, a feeling warning you away from doing so. Not that you wanted to. The woman, goddess, you’d been talking to and offering prayers for years was in front of you. The same deity that granted you gifts and your connection to the sea. Why would you look away?

Upon stepping on the sand, it felt different, but you didn’t dare look down. It was as soft as powder, yet you knew if she willed it, it could shred your feet in seconds. It was the feeling of the sand, cool yet warm under your feet, that let you know this wasn’t the beach you had just been on. No, this was a place between the water and the sea sand of your home. A place only she could come.

And she’d brought you.

You followed her on this endless beach, the water behaving strangely to the right of you. Your connection to the water, to her, allowed you the knowledge of knowing not to touch the water again now that you’d left it. The song was wrong.

When the sun started rising, you could see a small cottage. The wood was weathered, like it had seen many sea storms and was rubbed smooth by the sand around it. She entered first, and given that she hadn’t told you to stop following, you went inside too.

Your eyes, even though you just came in from outside, didn’t need to adjust to the change in lighting. A strange sort of ease settled over you the moment you came through the door. It was like coming home. And all around the cottage, you could see the flowers you’d sent her. Eternally kept alive, some gathered in bushels, some strung up on the walls. But the best ones had their stems held in the pages of the journals she had collected over the years.

When you went to walk further into the cottage, strong arms wrapped around you from behind. Her skin was cool and thrummed with energy unending. You wanted nothing more than to turn around to see her face. But you held still. One of her hands drifted up to your face, turning your injured side toward her. You closed your eyes the moment she pressed a kiss to the cut, and suppressed a hiss of pain as it healed. The healing she did always felt like rubbing salt in the wound until it was finished.

After she finished, it was then that she reached down and held your hands in hers, trapping you in her embraces and your own. You leaned back, pressing your head against her shoulder, and finally allowed yourself to look up at her. She met your stare with her own, and you found something like love there. You knew that gods could not love like mortals do, but what was in her eyes rant as deep as the deepest part of her domain.

It was then that she interrupted your thoughts. Her hand resting against your cheek again, she leaned down and pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth, teasing. But then she pressed her lips to your and let you turn around in her arms. Her hand then slid back to fist in your hair, pulling your head back to kiss at your neck, lingering on your pulse. It felt like the tide had swept you away and soon you lost yourself to her.

It was after, when you lay in a tangle of blankets at her side, with her eyes watching your every move, that you spoke.

“Why me?” You asked, your voice as small as the day you met. You were human, insignificant compared to the eternity of her life. And while you loved her, you knew it was not returned. A god couldn’t feel love as a human does after all.

She was silent for a moment, appearing to gather her thoughts while tracing your collar bones with feather light touches. But then her hand trailed over to your shoulder and slowly, she began to hold you so tightly, her nails began to leave indents in your skin.

“I think you were made for me, and so you are my favorite.” Was her answer, and a part of you felt uneasy at the thought of being a belonging of the goddess. But another part of you recalled her fondness of the Hibiscus flower, and how it has spanned centuries. Since the first moment, according to the story, that Titan created it and gifted it to her, in memory of a woman she had failed to protect, coloring the petals with the woman’s blood.

And so you smiled, and leaned forward to press another, this time chaste, kiss to her mouth which she gladly returned.

All the town’s people found on the beach, the night after you went missing, was your footsteps going into the tide. Some side that Leviathan had finally killed the last of her compassion, and now only her anger was left. But the women whispered of Leviathan calling you home. Of you having gone to her side as your reward for being so faithful to the sea.

Sometimes, people would see the image of you walking on the beach, hand in hand with a woman who’s features no one could quite make out. And it is said, to this very day, that if you were in trouble and needed to find safety, that you could walk the beach and a woman might appear before you, offering advice and magic to aid you. People, every year on the day you vanished, would set red hibiscus flowers onto the sea. Both for Leviathan, and the woman who remembered that the goddess, though thought of as cruel, was kind.

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welshjule · 4 years

Text

You got me begging you for mercy

To my Friends, Family and all Readers,

Welcome to my first blog. Every week I will be posting a story ‘loosely based’ on my life in Australia since 1982. My aim is to provide a little escapism in a sometimes-hard world and to hopefully make you laugh. The content will be mature themed as I am in no way attempting to be a role-model!

Happy reading my Darlings

Let me know what you think.

Ju xx

Perth, Australia.

January 1995

It was a Sunday night and I had just put my daughter Alice to bed. The house was red hot, the windows were wide open and there wasn’t a breeze; it was like living inside a sweaty sock. Summer in Perth can be brutal and it is a dry, burning heat that scorches the hair on your arms and rips the skin off your feet if you try and walk barefoot outside. The temperature had hit forty degrees that day and I only had two stand-up fans, so a load of our family and friends had been swimming at the local pool.

We got home and Alice, who was about five years old, spent about two hours in a cold bath – in her bathers, underwater, face-down and pretending to be dead! My job was to run in and rescue her every so often but I kept forgetting. I gave the nickname ‘Insane Alice’ to my daughter when she was very young because she was my wild, brave, curious nutcase, who always had something to say and most of it was somewhat demented. Over the years, we dropped the Insane bit and it was just Alice, but to tell the truth, she’s still a bit touched.

My Father called her ’his Alice’ for thirty years.

So, my exhausted daughter was now asleep with a wet towel on top of her and a fan blowing hot air around her room.

Walking into the kitchen, I stuck my head under the cold tap until my hair and face were soaking wet. Grabbing an ice-cold beer from the fridge, I wandered out to the garden and laid back on an old lounger. Tracey Chapman was singing about a fast car as I lit a fag and skulled my beer.

The house was like a furnace and there was no reprieve outside. From November to March, you went to bed sweating and you got up the same way. We lived in a low-income area and nobody had air-conditioning; you just had to deal with the heat.

At that time, single mothers didn’t get to choose the houses with alarm systems and swimming pools. We could only afford tired, old rentals with dripping taps and broken flyscreens and to make matters worse, I was cleaning two ‘beach-front’ mansions a day while Alice was at school.

#These were palaces, with huge swimming pools, wine cellars and balconies overlooking the blue ocean and I earned a pittance. I had to shut my mouth like Ruby from ‘Upstairs, Downstairs’ when the ‘lady of the house’ complained about smears on the bathroom mirror or dust on the roof because I needed the money.

Looking around now, my poor garden looked so sad; that unrelenting ball of fire had burnt the beautiful flowers I had planted and singed the lawn so badly that it was now just dry, straw.

I was feeling a bit weird and conflicted because everyone around me seemed to think that I should be trying to find a man to ‘look after me and be a father to Alice.’ Don’t get me wrong, it was said with kindness, but I was bored of the whole thing.

Thirty years ago, there was a real stigma attached to being a single mother. If your marriage failed but the dad was still on the scene with the kids, that was ok. If there was no father in sight, it played with people’s heads.

I chose to leave Alice’s father when she was a baby and bring up my daughter alone and I loved it.

I didn’t have a man and I didn’t really want one.

But some people just weren’t comfortable with it. Was I a lesbian? Did I hate men? Was I flirting with their man? They wanted to set me up with their husband’s mate from Bunnings and it was all, ‘We’ve got to find you a nice fella’ and ‘you can’t be too fussy.’ What a cheek! I was thirty years old with no visible hump on my back. Who were they thinking of wheeling in? Alf F##king Stewart?’’

There was a lot of pressure

And It wasn’t like I hadn’t tried.

I’d been to Bachelor and Spinster Balls, joined ‘Parents Without Partners’ (very creepy) and even went to ’Japanese conversation ‘night classes because everyone told me ‘There are loads of divorced men learning languages now Ju. There will be blokes everywhere.’ The only man I ever spoke to was wearing a grey cardigan and had just retired from the civil service.

God knows I tried

And I was about to try again

In 1995, there was no tinder or instant messaging because there were no mobile phones or computers (well not in our house anyway). People had to leave their residence and go hunting in pubs and clubs on a Saturday night for their own Brad Pitt or Pamela Anderson and it was utterly soul destroying.

But I had the Wanneroo Times and I was on a mission.

This local community newspaper had started printing adverts in their classifieds for single people wanting to meet a partner. It was basically, ‘man seeking woman’ or ‘woman seeking man’. Then, everybody told massive lies about themselves; ‘very attractive, happy go lucky, no baggage, loves a good red wine and walking on the beach at sunset.’ It was ridiculous but that didn’t stop me filling in the form.

My advert said,

If you are a sports fanatic and watch it on tv all weekend – read on

If you are bitter about your wife taking everything from you in the divorce, we’ve already met - read on

If you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain, warm winter fires, bubble baths and collecting driftwood. Stop reading Sir, for you are a dead set serial killer.

I didn’t say much about me, just,

’blonde, thirty, likes to write.’

And I posted it off.

It took a week to receive any responses.

I’d been watching ‘Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves’ and wondering how I could get in touch with Kevin Costner to tell him I was waiting for him here; in the hottest, most isolated corner of the world!

But I was feeling quite hopeful and ready for some romance in my life. I spent most of the week singing ‘You know it’s true, everything I do, I do it for you.’

On a Monday morning, the postman dropped an official looking, brown envelope into my post box and I had seven letters!!

Buzzing with excitement, I made a cup of coffee, lit a fag and opened the first one.

He had a wife but they didn’t sleep together. He desperately needed passion in his life, maybe two afternoons a week! Yeh right, dream on!

Three more were married and just wanted a bit on the side.

My fifth would-be suitor boasted of a body tattooed from his neck to his toes and a willingness to provide colour photos. I just couldn’t stomach it!

And the sixth little gem was a smooth-talking illiterate who claimed to be a ‘mad rooter’ but added that, ’If I was a ‘Fat Sheila,’ then not to bother eh!’

I could feel a black depression impending; Was I supposed to settle for this group of no-hopers?

But there was one letter remaining and that was written by a man named Fred.

Fred was English and had been in Perth for a couple of years. He worked in some office and liked Guinness. That was good enough for me!

We spoke on the phone a couple of times and met for a quick coffee. He was a nice bloke and didn’t seem to be deranged. He asked me to go to the movies to see ’Braveheart’ and I said ‘’lovely.’’

So, its Friday night and I am sorted. Alice is staying at my parents’ house and I have a date!

The Commitments are slaying Mustang Sally and I am drinking a vodka and tonic. My hair is a work of art! It has been washed, blow- dried, straightened, back-combed and gelled, plus I’ve used half a can of hairspray, so this hairdo is not shifting.

On goes the make-up, a pair of jeans that are much too small and a black shirt. Sounds simple doesn’t it?

But it is still 32 degrees at 6.30pm and the sweat is dripping down my back. I am sitting on an ice pack with my feet in a bowl of cold water and the pedestal fan is coughing, stale air at me like an old family dog. The jeans are slowly roasting my legs, the underneath of my hair is soaking wet and the makeup is dripping off my face.

But I don’t care, because I’m looking good, the house smells of ’Red Door’ perfume and I’ve had a few puffs of a lovely old joint I found on top of the kitchen cupboard.

I am ready for action!

Fred turned up at about seven and he looked very smart with jeans and a blue shirt. He was quite a portly fellow, very suntanned and with a completely bald head. I don’t know if he’d ever had any hair and I didn’t really care.

I was flying!

We were a bit early for the movies so we went for a drink first. The pub was practically empty but the night was young, so I told Fred that it was my shout. He asked the ‘gothic and heavily pierced’ barmaid, if she could make him a flat, white coffee and she looked at him with complete disgust. I ordered a double vodka and we sat down for a chat. I really wanted to find Fred attractive but he wasn’t giving me much.

He had a very strong Yorkshire accent and was into cycling and re-cycling. He started telling me about sustainable compost heaps and I just glazed over.

But, as I sat looking at him, the room started spinning and Fred began to morph into Dierdre Barlow from Coronation Street and a brown, boiled egg.

That old puff was strong!

’’I’m that choofed you chose me lass,’’ he said ‘’and I’m having a grand time, but I’m not one for the drink.’’

’Jesus Christ! When am I going to cop a break?’ I thought, ‘I’m a thirty-year-old woman wearing skin tight jeans and high heels. My legs are shaved, my elbows moisturised and I HAVE THE HOUSE TO MYSELF!! Who gives a shit about recycling?

I didn’t want to talk about Fred’s ‘loovely bunch of lasses at work’ or ’the benefits of riding a bicycle.’

My life consisted of chicken nuggets, nit shampoo and a daughter who was obsessed with a demonic dessert called Strawberry Shortcake. This nauseating strawberry cake had three best friends called Apple Dumpling, Raspberry Tart and Cherry Cuddler. They sounded like a bunch of sex workers and their pimp was a freak called ‘The Prickly and Peculiar Pieman from Porcupine Creek. Alice had it on an old video and played it constantly. She had been speaking in an American accent for about three weeks and I was over it!

I wanted to act like a teenager. To get absolutely wasted, fall-down drunk and extremely immature. I wished Fred would suggest a drinking game so that we could get really loud and find everything hysterical. I needed him to make me laugh because that is sexy. I wanted to completely skip the bloody movie altogether!

Nah, take that back.

Fred was, in fact, an egg that spoke with a Yorkshire accent and he was boring me to death.

So, we walked to the cinema and bought our own tickets, (very civilised), then I was straight into the Candy Bar. Buying a very expensive choc- top ice-cream and some popcorn, I asked Fred what he was having and he said,

’’Nah, I’ll not have owt, I’m watching me weight.’’

That really irritated me because I’d been considering a box of Maltesers too and now I couldn’t have them because I would look like a pig.

We found two seats in the middle row. The place was packed out because it was the first night the film was showing.

‘’So, Fred, what’s this Braveheart about then? It’s not going to be all blood and gore is it?’’ I asked.

“I don’t know Julie, I haven’t seen it,’’ he said, but it translated to, ’’Ah doon’t know jooleh, I’ve not seen film.’’

Now, don’t forget, I was deep in the grip of Sherwood Forrest and I thought Braveheart would be similar; some battles, dodgy accents, a love story, some fantastic one-liners ‘a la’ Alan Rickman.

I thought wrong.

The beginning of the film showed the beauty of Scotland with some hauntingly lovely music and a softly-spoken narrator. By the time I had eaten my choc-top, there were bodies of men, women and children hanging from beams, heads chopped off and the stabbing and slashing of everyone in sight; including the poor horses.

I was in a hell of a state!

Alice always compares me to the late, great, British comedian Larry Grayson when I am out of my comfort zone and am shocked or horrified. I get flustered and loud, highly camp and completely over the top.

I have to have things explained to me very clearly.

This film was way beyond my comfort zone.

My hands were over my eyes and all you could hear from me was ‘’Oh my God, when are they going to stop killing?” ‘’Oh, that’s gross!’’ ‘’I can’t look!’’ ‘’Why is there so much blood?’’ ‘’What’s happening Fred?”

And then an English soldier ties Braveheart’s beautiful bride to a tree.

I’m thinking, ‘’hurry up Wallace and save your woman.’’

Everyone is waiting for Mel to rescue her but he’s missing in action.

And the English Bast##d slits her throat!

Now, we still had about three more hours of this film to endure and the main character’s wife was dead. I just couldn’t believe it. She was exquisite, almost heavenly.

What was going on?

Í nudged Fred, ‘’What’s happening Fred? Is it a flashback or a dream? Is she coming back?’’

I was beside myself.

Fred was getting a little snippy at my endless questions and bad language because I couldn’t stop saying ‘’Oh F#ck’’ every time a limb was chopped off and it was constant carnage. It simply never stopped.

There was a teenage boy and his girlfriend sitting next to me and I tearfully asked the boy what he thought was going on. Did he think the lovely Marrun was coming back? Was it a flashback? He just looked horrified and two minutes later they both left.

So, now I’m crying and it’s serious. I’m absolutely gutted about useless Wallace not getting there in time and I don’t really feel like watching anymore.

Worse though, I haven’t got a tissue!

I am sobbing and my nose is running and I am doing that unattractive, hiccupy thing.

Fred’s forgotten his handkerchief and I’m hyperventilating and trying to quell my hysteria. But it’s just so sad and all you can hear in the whisper quiet audience are my racking sobs and sniffs. In the end, I had to use a KitKat wrapper and the sleeve of my top to wipe my nose. (yeh, I know, disgusting).

So now I’ve got to sit through another 150 minutes of butchery and treachery, heads in the mail, people being thrown out of windows and the mass raping of young maidens. It was relentless and I was suffering very loudly.

Fred was peeved, “Nah then, Jooleh, joost try to be a tad quieter pet. I can’t ‘ear film.’’

I was frazzled and I hadn’t even got to the torture of William Wallace.

What a joy that was!

About thirty minutes of Mel being hung, drawn and quartered very slowly with some lethal weapons (sorry, I had to).

First, he spits out the anaesthetic drug the princess slips him and then he refuses to shout ‘mercy’ to end his own torture. It was all too much and I kept shouting ‘mercy’ at the screen and crying loudly, but Mel just kept hanging on in there.

William Wallace was no pussy!

Eventually though, all the organs have been removed from his body and he has to die.

In his last few seconds alive he sees his wife, Murron, walking through the crowds, waiting for him and she is so beautiful, it’s heart breaking. Braveheart shouts ‘Freedom’ and I’m completely finished.

Before anyone could move, I was out of my seat. ’’I’ll see you in the foyer Fred,” I sobbed and ran to the toilets before the lights came on.

My body was shaking, my legs were like jelly and I was sweating. I felt like I had given birth to ten-pound triplets in an African hut, alone and without pain relief!

Then I saw my face in the mirror and stopped dead.

The old mascara I had found in the kitchen drawer was not waterproof and I had these black spider lines all down my cheeks. My eyes were smudged with dark grey eyeshadow, my nose was bright red and my face was blotchy and oily, with no trace of a base!

For some reason, my hair had also suffered and it looked like a yellow bird’s nest that had been sat on.

I hadn’t brought a handbag out with me, just a small purse, so the only things I had to rescue this complete disaster was a ten dollar note, a factor 30 lip balm and a furry tic-tac.

Everybody was coming into the lady’s toilets now and they were all looking at me. One girl came over and pretended to care but I saw straight through her. I’d heard some of her friends laughing at me during the torture scene.

I didn’t have a spare head so there wasn’t much I could do. I just washed my face, blew my nose and went out to meet Fred. I refused to look him straight in the eye though because I was hideous.

As we drove back to my place, the car was silent and I knew that Fred was sulking.

He eventually said ‘’Appen, A’Il see film again wit’ lasses from work. I missed most of it!’’

I thought, ‘’Oh do one, you Bloody tart, you are definitely not coming in for coffee.’’

We hit my driveway and I jumped out of the car like an Olympian.

Fred said something that sounded like ‘’See thee soon then Lass’’ and I said ‘’lovely.’’

Slamming the front door, I felt shell-shocked.

I jumped under a cold shower, washed off all the makeup and gunk from my hair and tied an old sarong around myself. Making a cup of tea and some toast with Nutella, I grabbed the remote and sat on the sofa.

Two minutes later, it was just me and Kevin.

I didn’t think I would ever hear from Fred again, but he rang a few nights later while I was watching ‘Home and Away‘ with Alice.

‘’Ow do Jooleh love, can ya guess where I am?’’ he asked jovially.

I froze. Oh my God.

“You’re not outside are you Fred? ’I asked,

‘’Nah’’, he chuckled, ‘’I’m lyin’ in’t cold tub, sipping hot brew and eating an apple pie. Blooody Bliss!’’

I hung up the phone and we never went out again.

Dating makes me realise why I’m not married!

If you liked this story, there’s a lot more to read because Alice and I have been writing tales ‘loosely based’ on our lives for many years, with the hope of finally finishing a book called ’A Mother like mine.’ Every Saturday, I will be publishing a blog so that you can read it over the weekend. Sometimes, Alice will write one too.

We will talk about love, losses and dating disasters, womanhood, teenage years and being a Welsh, single parent family in a rough-arse suburb of Perth in the nineties; from our two, completely different perspectives. I will even tell you how my true love literally walked through my front door and I almost took Alice to live in Texas! Our stories will be mostly funny but there will also be our recollection of some hard times. Nobody escapes them and sometimes it helps to read about other people’s battles.

Future titles include;

‘The Good, The Bad and the Aussies’

‘A Gang of Gary’s’

‘Doyawannarootorwhat’

‘Sorry about my little fella?’

‘Six months pregnant or a Tattoo?’

#wales #australia #perth #singlemum #dating #braveheart #melgibson #heat #strawberryshortcake

0 notes

othernecessarythings · 4 years

Text

81: Piercings you have?

only my ears

82: Something you really enjoy doing:

spening time with my favorite people on adventures

83: Favorite person to talk to:

my sister or my best friends

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?

how the fuck does this thing work, what are tags and why can’t i see any dates

85: How many followers do you have?

not many

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

well yes? if my googling is right and a mile is about 1.6 km, then yeah, i run one km in like 5 min

87: Do your socks always match?

yes i can’t wear mismatched socks

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?

yes

89: What are your birthstones?

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?

like a seal or something

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?

hm the flower called förgätmigej in swedish, they’re small, blue and calm

92: A store you hate?

um like the swedish store tessie maybe

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

none

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

read minds

95: Do you like to wear camo?

no not my style

96: Winter or summer?

SUMMER omg

97: How long can you hold your breath for?

probably not that long

98: Least favorite person?

hmm i really can’t stand trump for example

99: Someone you look up to:

my friends, hayley williams and my parents

100: A store you love?

weekday maybe

101: Favorite type of shoes

sneakers, always

102: Where do you live?

sweden, love it

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?

i prefer vegetarian food, but i eat anything

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

no clue

105: Do you drink milk?

not straight up, but like oboy and stuff like that yeah

106: Do you like bugs?

not really

107: Do you like spiders?

not really either

108: Something you get paranoid about?

getting caught by parents or police or similar lol, i’m living very dangerously in that aspect huh

109: Can you draw:

absolutely not

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?

i’m not brave enough to ask too much, but i love to get to know people’s backgrounds, fears and dreams

111: A question you hate being asked?

“why are u so smart?” cause i know i’m smart, it sounds arrogant to just say it like that but i realize it’s true, but i don’t know why? it just happened? hm

112: Ever been bitten by a spider?

nah we don’t have any bigger or dangerous ones here in sweden

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?

i live for it, i actually walk to the sea (i live pretty close to it) quite often just to breathe and let the waves calm me down

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

always sunny days

115: Someone you'd like to kiss or cuddle right now:

hm i’d like to find someone i like first ig

116: Favorite cloud type:

fluffy, compact clouds on a clear blue sky

117: What color do you wish the sky was?

i’m content with it being blue, and every beautiful colour the sunset is

118: Do you have freckles?

119: Favorite thing about a person:

their mind i guess? what they find interesting and are passionate about

120: Fruits or vegetables?

depends, i like both (indecisive as always)

121: Something you want to do right now:

bathe in a warm ocean, feel the sun on my skin

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?

the combo of them together beats everything

123: Sweet or sour foods?

sour

124: Bright or dim lights?

dim, it’s so much more comfortable

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?

not really

126: Something you hate about Tumblr:

how addictive it is, and how some people criticize everyone for small mistakes when they’re just trying their best to be inclusive,, like for example this is one of the most lgbtq+ accepting spaces of all times compared the general homophobia in the world, but there’s still those who complain when every post doesn’t include their very specific orientation

127: Something you love about Tumblr:

how addictive it is, it allows me to completely forget everything else and just have a good time in peace,, and how i don’t know any one here, no one is here to constantly judge me

128: What do you think about the least?

huh? what’s that?

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

oh um that’s a quite big decision but right now do i feel that this swedish lyrics would be very beautiful

”Låt oss gå upp på taket ikväll

Där vi kan se stjärnorna skimra

Låt oss gå upp på taket ihop

Där vi kan vara närmare himlen

Närmare himlen”

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?

trump or boris

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

um everything, i constantly doubt all of my traits and appearances but love them at the same time

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

usually not, so if i’m smiling with my teeth am i usually really, really happy

133: Computer or TV?

computer

134: Do you like roller coasters?

hm sometimes

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?

motion, seasickness is never a problem for me

136: Are your ears lobed or attached?

what?

137: Do you believe in karma?

no, but i still believe in acting good just because it’s right, not because you get any selfish profits from it

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?

oh that definitely depends, i know i’m quite near the society’s definition of beauty standards, with body shape and face features and clothing style and everything but i still doubt myself a lot, but i’d like to see myself as a strong seven

139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

none, my name hasn’t got any natural nicknames and i’ve never needed a nickname until recently when i’ve got a friend with the same name as me,, but she’s got a nickname so it’s okay

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?

no i wasn’t a creative kid at all lol

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

sigh once secretly, but it didn’t go that well and i’ve never done it since

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

oof really depends on who, but hopefully good?

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

hm depends on how good the present i’m giving is

144: What makes you angry

not much really, i’m not an angry type

145: How many languages do you speak fluently?

kinda two? i mean i’m fluent in swedish of course, and i’m quite close to being fluent in english too.. and i must include some rather bad german skills too lol

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

honestly i don’t have a clue right now, but i’m probably bi? aah but idk maybe i’m just straight, how would i know, but rn am i comfortable in being bi and further explore what my sexuality is

147: Are you androgynous?

not really, i’m kinda stereotypically female i guess

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:

hm my legs be kinda cute tho

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

no don’t make me choose this i don’t know and i’m insecure about it

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

anyone? um hayley williams, tyler joseph and my grandpa who’s passed away

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

no i’m content in our era, but either the early 2000’s to fully live my emo life, or the swedish 50’s when my grandparents grew up, they always tell me such beautiful stories from their childhoods and teenage years (i am aware about the problematics with all eras, and 50’s being lots of racism and much more, but i’d like to believe that if i were able to grow up the same way my grandparents did here in sweden, would life been pretty great anyways)

152: Do you like BuzzFeed?

okay hear me out i don’t know if buzzfeed is i thing in sweden? i’ve never heard anyone mention it, i have a vague idea of what it is but i don’t really know? so i guess not

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]

hah i wish

154: Do you like to kiss others' foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

no i’m not a touchy friend, i’m more like a shower u with kind words instead friend

155: Do you like to play with others' hair?

no i feel like i intrude on their privacy somehow

156: What embarrasses you?

hm i don’t really know, i tend to avoid any situation that might make me feel embarrassed

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

the concept of this (my teenage years) being the absolute best years of my life and that i have to achieve so much rn,, and media isn’t really helping me with that, i’m constantly forced to watch how great lives everyone else lives on social media and stuff,,, and i know my life is actually really interesting and good, but i’m anxious about my time running out anyways

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

hm basic but “i’m fine” i guess

159: How many people are you following?/160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? /161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?/162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?

not many on either of them

163: Last time you cried and why:

ah i don’t cry (which is a problem and i’m trying to loosen up my grip on my emotions but it’s hard) honestly i don’t remember the last time i really sobbed? i’ve cried a tear or two sometimes, usually over books, but i’m unfortunately not a crying type

164: Do you have long or short hair?

i had long hair until like yesterday! rn is it to my shoulders, which still is kinda long i guess, but short for me

165: Longest your hair has ever been:

idk quite long

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?

oh interesting topic, here’s my view on it; religion is a good idea, but we’re using it wrong. it is about spreading love and finding answers to the greater questions in life, to respect one and each other and finding a place and purpose in our world, which is beautiful right? unfortunately are many people and fucking leaders using it for their own profit, to spread hate or fear, which is completely wrong and not at all what it is about. worth mentioning that in sweden, particularly in the bigger cities, isn’t religion a big thing. no one i know is devoted religious? neither am i, but i still choose to believe in the good parts of christianity, about love and acceptance

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

ye i’m a science nerd i would love to know how it was made from a scientific point of view, bc i firmly believe that it’s the big bang and not some god who randomly chose to make us lol

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

yes, a little everyday makeup, and bright, colorful and creative looks for events

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?

against a wall, probably yes, but without? hah no

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

i think so, the knowledge that no one else is going to read this but me makes me feel quite secure in answering truthfully

that’s it! wow i made it through all of them, just for the record it’s the 23:d february 2020 today, nice, goodbye

#julias mind #just for my own sake

0 notes

boardwalk-absurdist · 5 years

Note

All the numbers! 😊

Aaahhh thank you~ I haven’t done one of these in forever but I love them, so let’s go (under the cut)!

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Coffee mugs~ I have one standard reliable water bottle that I carry with me, but I love me a clever/cute coffee mug.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? Chocolate bars, natch.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton candy~

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? Usually stuff like energetic, bubbly, and smart. They used to say gifted but around 4th grade they weren’t allowed to say that anymore.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? None of the above, I don’t drink soda. The bubbles hurt my tongue.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? Oh man this is an eternal struggle tbh. I think I usually dress a bit more grunge or boho, but I want to be pastel and goth as well? The others I could take or leave.

7. earbuds or headphones? Earbuds, as long as they aren’t those Skullcandy kind with the squishy part that you jam in your ear canal. I hate those.

8. movies or tv shows? Depends on my mood and how much time I have.

9. favorite smell in the summer? This may be weird, but like…sun sweat? You know when you’re laying out comfortably in the sunshine and there’s a nice breeze and you sweat a lil but it’s like just warm? Also the ocean, I love the beach but I live nowhere near one.

10. game you were best at in p.e.? Uh, avoid competitive people as much as possible by running in the opposite direction from the ball? Walk laps rather than play the game? I did not like gym class.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? Nothin’. Sometimes I’ll have a donut or poptarts or pain au chocolat but usually it’s a lotta nothing.

12. name of your favorite playlist? “Players musicals”, a spotify playlist with songs from the 4 musicals my college theatre group did while I was there. Or on my iTunes, I have one called “Power Up” that is all my pump-up jams.

13. lanyard or key ring? …both? I have a keyring on my lanyard.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? Ooh, the Haribo gummy frogs. With like the white part on the bottom? Idk what that shit is but I love it.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. I know it’s a play but we did read it, and I loved it. Alternatively, maybe Brave New World? I found that one fascinating.

16. most comfortable position to sit in? Curled up sideways in an armchair or with my legs thrown over one arm and my back against the other.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? In the summer, I always pick one pair of sandals with a fun pattern so I get cool tan lines on my feet. Otherwise, Merrell Mocs 5evr.

18. ideal weather? Sunny and dry, maybe with a light breeze, and in the mid- to high-70s. Either that or clear, sunny, and between 15 and -15 for like a perfectly brisk day.

19. sleeping position? I usually sleep on my side with my top leg flung out so I’m like half on my stomach. But I can’t actually sleep on my stomach cuz I have titties and they are Not Comfortable.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? Literally anywhere and on anything. I doodle and write on p much any surface I am given.

21. obsession from childhood? …uh. There were several. But I guess Jerry Lewis was the biggie/most embarrassing.

22. role model? That’s a tough one. Probably Bonnie Bassler.

23. strange habits? I eat most foods around the outside and save the center for last. Like poptarts, waffles, sandwiches… I also have a tic where whenever I have my car in neutral I jiggle the stick shift back and forth to like prove to myself that I am in neutral. I’m sure there are more that I’m unaware of that I just think are normal, so hey, if you know me irl and you know of a weird habit that I missed, send it my way.

24. favorite crystal? Idk. Does tiger’s eye count? It’s my favorite semi-precious stone.

25. first song you remember hearing? LORDT I have no idea, probably a Bruce Springsteen song.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Lay in the sunshine. Or swim outside.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? Play in the snow.

28. five songs to describe you? These are more songs describing what it feels like to be me, but: “Fear and Loathing” and “Teen Idle” by Marina and the Diamonds, “I Wanna Get Better” by Bleachers, “Yo Girl” from Heathers, aaaand “Carmen” by Lana Del Rey.

29. best way to bond with you? Work on a show together.

30. places that you find sacred? Difficult to say. I guess anywhere that feels like a liminal space.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Ooh okay so I have this black cropped sleeveless hoodie that says “never trust the living” on a tombstone and has a skull, I like to pair that with some burgundy high-waisted short shorts and tights with embroidered skulls and butterflies. Then those go with my platform black and white sneakers or my 6 inch platform boots with flames on the heels.

32. top five favorite vines? rOaD wOrK aHeAd?; I AM THE SAND GUARDIAN; …wow; “little diddy”; and either happy crismus or WELCOME TO BIBLE STUDY

33. most used phrase in your phone? Probably “fair enough”

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? “if you needed brain surgery, would you go to a general practitioner? No? THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL BUYING FISH FROM THE GENERAL STORE” fishtopia may finally be dead but that fucking commercial lives on

35. average time you fall asleep? Like midnight?

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? I can has cheezburger?

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Depends. If it’s just for a few days, duffel bag. But I prefer to travel with a suitcase for anything longer than a week.

38. lemonade or tea? Lemonade

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Uh I guess lemon cake?

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Oh! One time this girl tackled this dude allegedly cuz he wouldn’t share his beef jerky. The school was put on a code yellow while the security guard separated them.

41. last person you texted? Myself, to send some gel pictures from my phone to my laptop.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets. I have shitty girl pants pockets.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? why must you hurt me in this way. I have a denim jacket that I adore, so I guess that one? But I really appreciate the aesthetic of bomber jackets.

44. favorite scent for soap? Irish Spring. am cermet

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? I guess sci-fi.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? I sleep in my underwear.

47. favorite type of cheese? Cheddar or Gruyere.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? No clue. Strawberry, maybe?

49. what saying or quote do you live by? “Once you’re in it, it’s okay.” - This is How, Augusten Burroughs Alternatively, “How unlikely! Yet here we are.” - Spaceman of Bohemia, Jaroslav Kalfar

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? An inside joke with the Brit, I think.

51. current stresses? oh the thousands

52. favorite font? Currently I’m really feeling Book Antiqua.

53. what is the current state of your hands? Uh, fine? Clean? My nails are Ready for some new polish.

54. what did you learn from your first job? How to scoop ice cream.

55. favorite fairy tale? I don’t think I have one.

56. favorite tradition? So in my family, we have a routine for putting up the tree (we have a fake tree that we use every year). My dad puts the tree together, my mom rearranges and bends the branches to make it look more realistic, my dad puts the lights on, and then my little brother and I decorate it with all the ornaments. It’s a lot of fun and my favorite part of Christmas.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? An abusive relationship, getting help for depression/anxiety, and my mom’s attempted suicide.

58. four talents you’re proud of having? I’m a p good writer, a decent swimmer, I can do cross-stitch/needlepoint, and I am very good at taking tests/learning.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? “Eat an entire ass.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? Slice of life goofy high school comedy. Like Ouran, or the lighter parts of Fruits Basket.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? There’s a line in @scifigrl47‘s fic “Hollow Your Bones like a Bird’s” that has really stuck with me over the years: “It is the farthest from death that I can get, to decide, second by second, not to jump.” In a similar vein, the line “I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spat it out” from the original Avengers movie really made an impression. On a funnier note, the lines “I’ve frequently not been on boats” and “One can hardly eat cucumber sandwiches in an agitated manner” from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead and The Importance of Being Earnest respectively never fail to make me laugh.

62. seven characters you relate to? Lordt that is so many. Okay. Alissa Meson from the Truth series, Chidi Anagonye from The Good Place, Lee Fiora from Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld, Tohru Honda from Fruits Basket, Shiloh Wallace from Repo! The Genetic Opera, Augusten Burroughs in his memoirs (not technically a character but I relate so hard), and Bo Burnham’s stage persona (it COUNTS dammit).

63. five songs that would play in your club? “1, 2, Step” - Ciara, “Night Fever” - The BeeGees, “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)” - Journey, “Chelsea Dagger” - The Fratellis, and “Damn You Look Good And I’m Drunk (Scandalous)” - Cobra Starship

64. favorite website from your childhood? Quizilla, RIP

65. any permanent scars? Several on my hands (they used to be cat scratches but I picked at them so much they scarred up), two punctures from my cat biting me on my right inner forearm, and one biggun on my left asscheek from when I fell out of a tree and had to get 6 stitches.

66. favorite flower(s)? Poppies, lavender, fireweed, and forget-me-nots.

67. good luck charms? Not really? I have jewelry that I wear every day but that’s more a habit/ritual rather than for luck.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? LORDT okay so I worked at an ice cream shop two summers in a row, right? There was this DISGUSTING cranberry stout flavor, and a p gross ginger one, plus every time someone ordered a weird milkshake we’d make a little extra so we could try some. One time someone got like a large stout (the regular, not the cranberry, which was still nasty) and pumpkin milkshake with malt. It was horrid.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? It takes as much pressure to bite through a human finger as it does to bite through a carrot.

70. left or right handed? Rightie.

71. least favorite pattern? Uh. I guess paisley? It doesn’t really do anything for me.

72. worst subject? Organic chemistry or physics.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? Oooh so nutella and honey is DELIGHTFUL if you’ve never tried it. Also those parmesan bread bites from Dominos taste real good dunked in the icing that comes with the cinnamon twists.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? Like a 4 or 5.

75. when did you lose your first tooth? I genuinely do not recall.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? Scalloped potatoes with cheese.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? Idk I kill all my plants. I have a lil sempervivum that I’ve kept alive for a few months though~

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Grocery store sushi.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? Lmao they both are bad but I’ll say driver’s license.

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel tones.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? Are they not the same thing? I call them fireflies.

82. pc or console? PC. I grew up without a console so I lack the intuitive understanding of their control mechanisms that most people seem to have.

83. writing or drawing? Writing.

84. podcasts or talk radio? Podcasts.

84. barbie or polly pocket? Barbie I guess?

85. fairy tales or mythology? Mythology.

86. cookies or cupcakes? …cookies.

87. your greatest fear? Disappointing people who took a chance on me.

88. your greatest wish? If I tell you, it won’t come true.

89. who would you put before everyone else? My little brother.

90. luckiest mistake? Not applying for summer internships. Instead I just talked to the one microbiology professor and she offered me a summer job in her lab and it’s because of her that I’m at the school I’m at for grad school and have experience and all that.

91. boxes or bags? Uh. Bags I guess? Easier to carry.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Sunlight.

93. nicknames? My parents call me Squirrelle. Some people call me T (my real name starts with a T).

94. favorite season? Spring, I think. It’s so nice to come back out of the cold.

95. favorite app on your phone? I guess fb messenger, I use it the most.

96. desktop background? It’s a colored collage of Jareth and Sarah from pika-la-cynique’s “Girls Next Door” massive crossover series on dA.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? I dunno, like a handful? Some are totally useless.

98. favorite historical era? Probably the 80s.

#Anonymous #carmen answers #meet the blogger #thank you!#these are so fun

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bluegrasshole · 7 years

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Clumsy Lovers

So… I said about three hundred times that I would never write in the Strange Lovers universe again but… it’s @angeryginger‘s birthday so here’s… Jack Zimmermann’s backstory. Happy birthday babe all I wanted to do was sent this to you to beta.

The Zimmermanns are in large part based on my mother’s family, who were relatively rich anglophones (English, even), in a small Acadian fishing village around the same time. And the cherry tree is also real – and my great- grandfather apparently once caught my father, who was a teenager at the time, stealing cherries from it.

The Clumsy Lovers’ Set is my favourite set of fiddle tunes of all time. In same places it’s also known as the Sloppy Kissers’ or the Awkward Fuckers’.

Read Strange Lovers first.

Content warning: alcoholism, alcohol poisoning, child labour. KVP.

Robert Zimmermann, who owned the wharf and the store and a truck and a car and a big house which overlooked the ocean upon which the sun set, was a rich man. He had a beautiful wife – possibly the most beautiful wife in the whole county, if not the province, said the fishermen when Zimmermann could not hear, and a single spoiled, fat son who refused to speak to anyone who was not his family, they said whether the boy was around or not. Les goddamn d’anglais. Living in relative opulence though it was wartime, and so many men were missing or dead or gone, and so many boats were too empty to go out, and so many women were scared and struggling and so many children could not even remember what their fathers’ faces looked like. They were Americans, and though the son had been born on Acadian soil in that house, and though Zimmermann learned French and his son grew speaking it, they would never be anything but Americans.

There was a tree before the Zimmermann house, and in the spring it blossomed pink and beautiful before it bore sweet cherries in the summer, which were coveted by the young people in the village, though none were brave enough to sneak onto the property to steal some. None save of course for Kent Parson.

The reality of the thing was that Kent Parson was not, he said, afraid of anything and so to him Robert Zimmermann’s cherry tree represented nothing more than a goal to achieve. And perhaps to most this sounded like some kind of lie that came from the infatigable pride which only the very poorest possessed, but Jack had heard enough stories about Parson and the things he did that he knew it was the truth.

Jack was twelve when his father caught Kent Parson climbing the cherry tree in the front yard after the sun went down one July evening. Kent, who was the same age and defiant, swore some gadelles he had certainly learned while sneaking around on the wharves, while Robert pulled him into the house with a tight hand on his collar. Jack watched and heard that part from his open bedroom window on the second floor though he did not go down to eavesdrop on the rest, knowing his father would not take kindly to that.

In fact his father did not take kindly to most things Jack did, though the other villagers didn’t know that. Jack was weak and shy and sickly and mostly wanted to read books which Jack’s mother Alicia indulged but which his father detested, as he wanted to begin grooming Jack to become a business-man too. To take over the store, eventually, though that seemed too far away to even think about. Robert wanted to open another store further up the coast near Digby but as it was didn’t have the manpower or resources to do it until the war ended.

In the morning Jack woke early so he could go pick cherries for his mother’s breakfast but found instead Kent Parson sitting at his kitchen table with his mouth stained red.

He stayed with them through the summer, and Jack never asked why or even went out of his way to speak with the boy though he gleaned from his mother’s gossip on the telephone with her sisters back in Boston that it was because Kent had been living in barns and on the sofas of whoever would take him and mostly eating day-old bread from the bakery and dried fish and crab apples and the clams he dug up from the bay during low tide and smoked over fires he made on the beach. And the more Robert loved Kent it seemed the Jack the more he hated his real son, as was proven in the fall, when Robert told them both that he was putting them to work on the wharf to clean and go down into the hulls of lobster boats, where they were small enough to fit into the pits where the fish was held, and throw them up to the fishermen and older boys waiting to load them into crates for Robert to sell to the States.

At times it felt like Jack was drowning in lobster and the smell would stay beneath his skin forever and his hands would never heal from the ways the lobsters’ juices would seep into his cracked and cut-open fingers and infect them. Salt felt like a weapon upon them, upon him. One of the ocean’s many.

But at least it shut his father up.

Of course it meant he could no longer go to school, as the season started in mid-November until May or June, and the preparation work began a month before. And then summer was for repairing boats and traps and digging for clams and diving for scallops and for some going up the coast and even to Cape Breton to fish the summer season there, where they had crab as well as lobster. Some fished tuna and herring, cod, mackerel. Some spent the summer in mink farms, some became draveurs, raftsmen driving logs down rivers, some went up to the Annapolis valley to find farmwork, some went even further, to the mines or to steel plants. There was money in all of it, though not always good money, and Boston was only a few hours’ boat ride away, so some said the villages along the French Shore suffered less than others as the war went on. At least in the Bay of Fundy they were more or less safe from the German U-Boats which sometimes came close to Halifax Harbour or even nearer, in Shelburne.

So Jack and Kent worked year-round from twelve-years-old on, and lived together almost as brothers, and it was Jack who found Kent when he began wandering again, and who taught him to read, a little, and, when Robert grew tired of Kent’s chaotic and often insubordinate nature, Jack who brought him to his favourite spots in the woods, who taught him to play hockey in the roads and on frozen ponds.

Alicia, when she was not busy with her quilting group and tea parties in Yarmouth and other such things, took it upon herself to teach them both how to play the piano, which Jack hated but Kent, somehow, excelled at. His fingers were nimble and his mind was clever and he learned quickly. So with something akin perhaps to jealousy Jack asked his mother for a fiddle and took it upon himself to learn. Robert had been angry when he found out and Jack had played louder. But the music was just another thing he and Kent could do together, now, and it seemed Kent knew which tunes Jack would play next without prior warning, and by the time they were sixteen they were playing in kitchens at parties and both knew some dance steps.

Kent spoke English, by virtue of having been born to a Yarmouth fisherman’s wife who died in childbirth, and though the language was something to be mocked and hated when it came from Jack’s mouth, from Kent the girls found it charming. As such Jack spoke to him mostly in French.

By then the war was over and they had each been given a place on a boat, a friend of Jack’s father who was old and needed much help, and whose crew had found other, better, newer boats. His name was Éphraim à Cyprien Bourque and in addition to his lobster license and his boat the Honorine-Marie, he was a bootlegger who made his own moonshine out of his back shed and who sold it to whoever could pay.

Jack’s first day at sea made him sick of it, so sick he could barely stand or look out at the rolling expanse, and somehow the only thing that helped was some moonshine Kent had bought from their captain the week previous. It made no sense but neither did the way Kent laughed when he brought the bottle to Jack’s lips, unmocking, perhaps relieved.

They were sixteen, and they were sailors, and maybe more or less than brothers, and musicians, and Kent had many friends and even girlfriends on occasion, and they brought home money with which Jack could buy more moonshine. Robert said nothing about it or about anything regarding Jack and Kent these days as he had finally opened his new store and though he made it clear he still wanted Jack by his side eventually perhaps, he and Kent had at some point begun to resent each other and so wouldn’t speak, though Kent had not yet left. It was something Jack didn’t understand and perhaps never would or wouldn’t try to. Alicia saw nothing and Éphraim only wanted his money. In any case Jack and Kent were some of the best workers he’d ever had on his boat, he said, despite how Kent picked fights with the boys on the others wharves at barn parties and sang too much before the sun rose at sea and Jack spoke too little always.

But Jack came to love the ocean, perhaps even more than he feared it. As powerless as it made him feel he thought sometimes he needed that, to be reminded of his smallness, his impotence – and anyway Kent always said he felt the opposite. Like if he could conquer the sea he could conquer anything.

In the first summer of the new decade Éphraim gave Jack the boat. They signed the proper papers and the license and just like that the Marie-Honorine was his. July 4th, 1950. Happy birthday, Kent. Eighteen years old. It was a surprise, to an extent – certainly they had both been wondering without saying aloud who they each thought would get it. Privately Jack thought both expected Kent.

“Es-tu paré,” Jack asked Kent the night before Dumping Day, when they would go out and lay their traps and coloured buoys with their new crewman, Norbert à Édouard à P’tit Joe Surette. They were sitting on the stern of the boat as it was an unseasonably warm night for November.

Are you ready.

“Pour n’importe-quoi,” Kent said, “pis pour toute.”

For anything and for everything.

Later he drank almost enough to mask the taste of Kent, and of salt, perpetual on their lips. A weapon, both.

He awoke blinded. He awoke alone. A month and a stay in the Yarmouth hospital later, with a lazy eye and a bottle in his bag, Jack stole his father’s keys and enough money for gas, three or four hot meals, at least two nights at a boarding house and a pair of work clothes and boots, and drove to Springhill in Cumberland County. There would always be money in coal.

#strange lovers tag #pimms #jack zimmermann #kent parson #jack x kent #my writing #cpwriting #zimwriting #kvpwriting

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heidijeann · 5 years

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Koh Samui

Photos here :)

The flight was short - only an hour and 20 minutes maybe, but it still included an in-flight meal of sweet and sour chicken (or a fish dish which neither of us got, but I LOLed at the lack of a vegetarian option). Everything was smooth sailing until we got off the plane and had to wait in a long line outside in the heat to get through customs. There was a couple behind us invading Brett’s personal space, running into him and stepping on his foot, which made the line tense and feel even longer. Reflecting on it, we agreed that Brett needs to figure a way to make a game out of this kind of situation, because getting so stressed out over something so small is unhealthy. (I need to take a page out of his book - such a great realization!)

Once we finally made it through customs, we took a 460 baht shared taxi van to our hotel. Luck was on our side, as our hotel was the first stop in our 12 person shared taxi van. We got out, and stepped into true luxury - the hotel staff were expecting us and greeted us with freezing cold towels and water while they started to check us in. Then they came back with ice cream and explained hotel activities etc. before taking us to our room. It was a deluxe villa with a huge bed and beautiful walk in shower that had doors opening from both the bed and shower to a beautiful balcony with a tub and lounge chairs overlooking an jungle-esque lap pool.

While the room was beautiful, we didn’t stay long. We dropped off our bags, got into our bathing suits, and immediately hit the beach/pool. We were excited to see there were free kayaks, paddle boards, and water shoes for our use, and immediately took the kayak out for a swim. We got in and started paddling, all going well, until Brett called us professionals and about two seconds later we totally flipped the boat into the water. We came up shrieking with laughter, and were happy to see a couple close by caught the entire thing and were laughing with us. We spent maybe 30 minutes perfecting our strides and checking out the surrounding rocks and area, and then decided to return the kayak and find something to eat.

There were many places on the beach to grab a bite or a massage, so we walked and surveyed the menu and price selections. At the far end of the beach, right where the sea met some rocks making it difficult to go further, we saw a cute little oasis with hammocks and chairs and swings that drew our attention. To be totally honest, I don’t really know if at this point we noticed any of that - there was some kind of pretty flower stand thing (it reminded me of a plumeria chuppah) that I wanted to check out, so we walked to it. That’s where we could really start to see the magic oasis, with tropical/reggae music setting a super chill vibe and the waves lightly crashing onto the shore next to us. We fell in love and ordered a pad thai at a super reasonable 100 baht price, and enjoyed the view. Turns out this little spot would be our go-to getaway from the hotel, with extremely reasonable prices and the best music and vibes a girl could ask for. We made two friends: George, a yoga instructor who offered us a free class, and Tom, a tour guide who told us all about different excursions and cool things to do on the island. After an hour or so we headed back to the resort and spent the rest of the afternoon lounging and swimming between the beach and the pool, sipping on cocktails and soaking in the sun and the view.

When the sun started to set, headed back to our room to change and venture off to get our first massage in Thailand. The spot we found was a 12 minute walk from our hotel, and we were in for a treat: we would be getting our first Four Hands massage. Oh my god, life changing. The women were warm and effective, with strong hands and big smiles. For an hour of absolute bliss, it only cost us a total of $1200 baht or 38.30 United States Dollars. Like come on. I wonder if after our travels if we will look at the price and think it was expensive for Thailand? Only time will tell… my goal is to get 30 hours of massage before we stop celebrating my birthday, but I will count the four hand massage as 2 hours since there were two people rubbing us. The massage also converted B - on our walk home he raved “I can never go back to a 2 hand massage, it is 4 hands or bust for me. What was a massage prior to the 4 hands? I don’t remember. THIS IS HOW MASSAGING NEEDS TO BE. You get a symmetrical experience as they rub the neck/shoulder and lower back at the same time.” This is seriously not an experience to miss. On our walk home we found a Mexican/Thai spot and popped in. The price was right - B enjoyed a burrito and I larb with rice. Then, we walked back to the hotel and tried the outdoor tub out. Overall, I would have to admit my last day as a 29 year old was pretty incredible!!!

We woke up early on my birthday - around 6 am after a very comfortable sleep in a huge king bed that reminded us of home (s/o to Jackie and Roger who are keeping our bed safe and loved while we travel!). We decided to head down to the beach and finish watching the sunrise. It was beautiful. We climbed some rocks and enjoyed the view, and then did some yoga on a shaded deck just off the sand overlooking the water. It was a wonderful start to 30. By now some of the hotel staff was out setting up the pool area, and we started walking along the beach only to notice a bunch of plastic and trash washing up in the current. We decided to pick it up, and the hotel staff were very pleased to see us helping. They showed us where we could throw it away (there were literally no trash cans anywhere on the property outside of the room!) and we made a pile of stuff. We’ve heard about the trash in SEA, and want to make sure we do our part to clean it up as much as possible. It’s really so beautiful here - we feel responsible as tourists to not be a stereotype and help keep our earth as healthy as possible. The lack of trash cans is concerning, and we found out later that the rumors about people burning trash here are 100% true.

Anyway, we worked up a bit of a sweat so decided to cool off in the water - the tide was low making it an easy walk to a rock formation in the ocean. We tried to climb the rocks, but one of them bit me and so I decided we weren’t friends, and we left the rocks to go take out the splintery black crap from my calf. I cried like a baby when Brett pulled out a little razor looking device called “splinter out” and had to bravely bite a towel between my teeth as he dug and pressed out whatever was caught in there. After about 10 minutes and a shower, I was all better - sterilized and clean with a bandaid covering my boo-boo. #thisisthirty.

By now it was about 11 am, so we headed back to our rock bar and got a coconut and chilled out in the hammocks. We decided we would go into town and check out Chaweng Beach, and reserved seats on the shuttle leaving at 1. The ride was about 20 minutes, and we were both excited to see the food court when we got there. We got some chicken and beef on sticks and some chicken teriyaki with rice and miso, and a fruit shake that was delicious. We were on a mission to find me sunglasses and Brett sandals - and only had two hours. We did it all and headed back to the hotel in time for happy hour. We got some drinks at the pool and swam around, then headed back to the rock bar for dinner and drinks. We ended up meeting an interesting couple - a man from Utah and a woman from the Philippines - and spent the night swapping stories and drinking beer. (I know, who am I? Drinking beer! LOL.) Unfortunately, we forgot to finish ordering the dinner part, so when we left around 10, we were hungry and tired.

We got back to the room to see a very exciting note telling us to pack our bags as we were being upgraded and relocated to a private villa the following day. We celebrated by ordering room service, and went to bed tired, excited, and full. We woke up early again on the 23rd, or, my birthday part two (since it was technically my birthday at home still). Brett showed me a video he put together of all my friends and family sending me sweet thoughts and birthday wishes, and we then headed to the beach to catch it empty and serene. We did another little meditation, this one shorter, and then headed off property to grab breakfast near the main road. It was about an 8 minute walk to an authentic thai restaurant where we got breakfast, then headed to hour 3 of 30 hours of massage - where we got an authentic thai massage. By the time we got back to the hotel, our bags had been relocated and the staff were showing us to our private villa.

If you have never had a private pool villa before, it is absolutely the way to travel. We stripped off our clothes and jumped in the pool. Frolicking and dancing around the entire indoor and outdoor area in our birthday suits (fitting huh? Pun intended - birthday suit for the birthday girl!). After an hour or two we decided to head down to the beach and were stopped by the hotel staff who had complimentary drinks for us. So, we started to drink. We ordered some food pool side and made ourselves cozy with our food and our drinks in a cabana. We had the bottle of Veuve over ice in the villa, and planned on popping that before dinner. After our drinks and bite, we went back to our villa and popped the Veuve. If I am being totally honest, my absolute favorite part of the whole day (both birthdays) was dancing around naked while sipping rosè champagne and singing along to the lyrics. About half way through this experience, Brett realized that people could probably see in to part of our villa, so we pulled the robes out of the closet, put them on, and continued dancing.

For dinner we checked out the hotel’s seafood restaurant TawaNN, and decided on the tapas bar instead after reviewing the menu. We got gambas and a pizza, both were delicious, and then took our headlamps down to the ocean to explore the rocks during the super low tide. The rocks that were eaten by the sea earlier in the day were now totally accessible by foot, and it was so neat to explore the beach in this new fashion. A bit tipsy and quite tired, we (read: I) didn’t last too long and soon after headed back to our villa for a much needed sleep.

Our last day in the Renaissance we woke up at 7:45 am - admittedly earlier than we wanted to after a night of drinking (miraculously I felt amazing, although Brett somehow was a bit hungover) but determined to make it to sunrise yoga on the beach. We took a class from 8-9 am, and while it was “Yoga for All” it felt pretty advanced to us. The instructor wasn’t the most patient man in the world, and even laughed at Brett at one point which I thought was quite rude. Overall though, it was a good workout and we left feeling energized. We headed back to our villa and decided to make the most of it until check out. Brett pretended to be a pool boy and fish all the flowers and fallen leaves out of the pool while I sat on the lounger looking for a hotel for that night. We swam and dried off and swam some more. Once 1 pm rolled around, we checked out, leaving our bags with the front desk and our suits on our bodies, and headed down the beach for a bite to eat.

For our last meal we decided to try Uncle Rang’s Restaurant, and were seated immediately. Once we placed our orders, they told us it would take about 30 minutes, so we walked to our Rock Bar for a final coconut and to bid adieu to the family who ran it (all super sweet and welcoming people). Then, we returned to the restaurant and ate slowly, enjoying the view. On our walk back to the hotel, we passed the massage studio on the beach that we had walked past many times every day, and decided to add another hour to the ticker. The ladies asked us to come back in 30 minutes, so we decided to take a dip in the hotel pool. We met a new friend there - a man from Michigan who didn’t like Trump but voted for him! - and got lost in conversation. By the time we made it back to the massage hut, they had two free beds but needed to call two masseuses over from a nearby parlor. (For the record, while peaceful, beach massages are sandy and get interrupted by coconuts falling on the roof, which sure scared the crap out of me!)

By the time we were ready to leave the hotel (and Lamai beach) it was almost 5 pm. We were now heading to the north most tip of the island - Mae Nam - to be closer to the pier. Brett found a deal for a hotel named Amarin Victoria that was a short walk to the beach. By the time we actually got there though, the sun was already setting and we didn’t make it in past our knees. Instead, we found a decent looking place to eat, shared a satay and pizza, and then headed back to the hotel. We took a quick dip in the rooftop pool and then retired to our rooms where we put on Kate and Leopold and looked for a place to stay in Koh Tao.

Before we knew it we were waking up, heading down to breakfast, then back up to pack. We had about two hours left until we had to start heading to the pier, a 26 minute walk in the heat - so I spent the morning preparing by singing along to Mulan and blogging, among other various things. Any excuse to stay in the air-conditioned bed was one I was willing to take. Honestly, my least favorite part of traveling is anything that has to do with touching the luggage. I don’t like it. It’s dirty, heavy, annoying...anyway, at the end of the day it is worth it, and I love my stuff, so I have to suck it up. I pump myself up with the following mantras: A 26 minute walk is a good exercise, and saves us 400 baht. That’s almost two massages! There is no chance we are going to do the 28 minute walk to our next hotel when we get to Koh Tao. Almost done… get it girl! Anyway, the time passes and with every step we are one step closer, so we got there pretty painlessly. And we felt very accomplished when we did. Brett cracked open a celebratory beer and we both enjoyed it, and then a couple more. (Well, enjoy is a strong word. I am still not a huge fan, but they are cheap and cold, so I am trying to convert myself…)

We waited about 40 minutes until we started to board, and found semi-shaded seats with a great sea view. The ferry would make two stops: Koh Pha-ngan (AKA the full moon party island) and Koh Tao. On our way to Koh Pha-ngan we met two friendly Germans who spent a lot of time in Thailand. The rest of the ferry ride we were by ourselves, but Brett met a famous Thai singer named Job2Do while going to the bathroom - he and his band are playing a concert on Koh Tao. Even the captain of the ship came out to take a pic with him! About two hours after we set off, we were docking on Koh Tao, getting our bags, and getting off the ship.

Total spend USD for these 5 days in Koh Samui and Mae Nam, including the ferry to Koh Tao (our accommodations at the Renaissance I booked using points, which saved us a ton of money!): $354.27

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highschoolvevo · 7 years

Note

Aaal L Ssks

REDCrimson - What was an event that’s shaped you to be who you are today?

dealing with mental illness

Light Pink - Do you have stuffed animals?

nope

Blush - Are you single?

yes

Amaranth - What’s your favorite emotion?

that happiness that you feel in your tummy, like youre excited for life in general

Cherry Blossom - How are you feeling right now?

alright. not as bad as it has been

Hollywood Cerise - What are your ambitions?

I wanna do neuroscience!

Razzmatazz - Favorite TV Show?

How the Universe Works

Rose - Where do you feel most comfortable?

In my bed with my favorite blankets

French Rose - What is your favorite flavor?

no fucking clue. maybe coffee? or vanilla? or green tea

Cameo Pink - Favorite movie?

all of LOTR

ORANGE

Buff Orange - Would you consider yourself athletic?

variably. i do sports and stuff but i really struggle with my asthma

Burnt Sienna - Favorite smell?

miracle forever by lancome. they dont make it anymore. it smells like my childhood when things were happy

Melon - Do you like to dance?

LOVE TO DANCE. dance like a SLUT

Carrot - Do you bake?

rarely

Copper - What is your favorite kind of day?

one where i have energy to do things and dont have any set responsibilities and just have the opportunity for spontaneity

Orangeade - When do you feel alive?

When its warm and i can open my windows and the breeze smells wonderful and im laughing and everyone happy

Gamboge - Where do you want to travel?

everywhere omg

Peach - Favorite texture/s?

silk ribbon and cool, soft cotton

Vermillion - How brave are you?

it depends on what the situation is. If a friend is scared, I got this.

Bittersweet Shimmer - What is your favorite memory?

spring cleaning with my mom when i was very small, maybe three years old. it’s my earliest memory. the windows were open and it was warm but breezy and mom was watching a soap opera and her shirt was soft and it smelled like fabric softener

YELLOW

Flax - Do you like going to the beach?

i didnt used to, but i do now. i value anywhere i can go away from where i live

Wheat - Who can you trust the most?

my best friend

Laser Lemon - What kind of phone do you have?

iphone 6

Gold - Are you high maintenance?

can be lmao

Mellow Yellow - How calm are you?

i have anxiety lmao

Unmellow Yellow - How high energy are you?

i have depression lMAO i am never calm or awake. i am always jittery and tired

Papaya Whip - How honest are you?

i try my best to never lie if i can help it

Transparent Yellow - Would you consider yourself to be special?

Canary - Favorite song?

people pleaser by korn

Reed Yellow - Do you play an instrument?

i wish i did

GREEN

Pear - Where do you feel rested?

in my bedroom in the summer after an afternoon nap

Olive - What is your favorite food?

i dont know, ive never been much of a foodie honestly

Fern - Favorite plant?

all of them. ALL OF THEM

Moss - Are you quiet or loud?

depends on the crowd

Tea green - How do you relax?

i dont lmao

Celadon - Dream job?

neuroscientist!

Harlequin - Can you act?

no lmao

Malachite - Do you speak more than one language?

i wish i did. I can read latin kinda okay but im nowhere near fluent

Mantis - Favorite animal?

dogs!

Seafoam Green - Do you like water?

not to drink, but i love the rain and i love rivers and i love hot showers and i love the smell of the ocean

BLUE

Sky Blue - Would you ever want to fly?

it would be cool but i dont see the need personally. like someone with a disability that limited their mobility might love to fly but i like walking too much

Periwinkle - Would you want to breathe underwater?

YE S IM A MERMAId

Powder Blue - Or control the weather?

YESSS

Liberty - Become the president/prime minister?

no ew

Space Cadet - Become an astronaut?

yes!

Celeste - Have perfect pitch?

YES

Eton Blue - Become invisible?

sure

Indigo - Become immortal?

Iris - Grow plants at will?

YESSS

Whispering Blue - Or teleport?

ooooh yes

PURPLE

Lilac - Would you want kids?

nah. i might adopt but the thought of being pregnant is repulsive to me

Lavender - What is your favorite time of day?

about an hour before sunrise

Mulberry - Could you betray someone?

i would hate to

Eminence - Favorite sounds?

guitar distortion, waves, the rain, beautiful voices, how brushing hair sounds

Palatinate - Do you think you’ll make it to 100 years old?

i doubt it

Prune - Do you ever think about dying?

yes

Fandango - Do you spontaneously start singing sometimes?

all the time lmao

Thistle - If you could become wise, rich, or intelligent, which would you rather?

wise. with wisdom comes the capacity for intelligence, and with intelligence comes the capacity for wealth

Mauve - What would you name your kids/pets?

i have to look at em first, see what feels right

Royal Purple - What’s your favorite emotion?

answered above

OTHERS

Cream - If you had 1 day left to live, what would you do?

fuck someone, tell everyone how i felt about them, good, bad, or otherwise, write a quick will, listen to my favorite music, and relax with the ones i love

Silver - Are you a good person?

i think so

Ecru - How do you feel about the world today?

im afraid for it but im also hopeful at the potential for our growth as a nation, either under a leader who’s not as bad as we thought he was, or our unity against a possible tyrant

Auburn - Favorite color?

so many. just not muddy yellows and oranges

White - Do you own lots of makeup? not really

Black - What is the greatest success of your life so far?

ive never really thought about it. maybe overcoming the period in my life when i was suicidal

Bronze - Would you follow my blog?

i feel like i already do lmao

Pink Nectar - What’s your aesthetic?

a fuckin mess, thats what it is

Sepia - Do you like photography?

yes!

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quandongcrumble · 5 years

Text

This is a modern Thedas AU where my sweet and cheerful Warden, Alim Surana, works at a tea shop. Featuring my other Wardens Marta Brosca, Oriana Tabris and Gethin Mahariel, Red’s @s-hylor Aedan Cousland, and any and all of the NPCs I’ve picked and chosen to fill up the story. It’s supposed to be cute and sweet and light. Let’s see if I can keep it that way.

----------------------------

The jingle of the brass bell above the door announces what Alim hopes will be the last customer of the day. He shuts off the water and wipes his hands dry on his gingham apron, and leaves the kitchen through the creaky swinging door.

“Hi, welcome to Camellia’s. How are you today?”

He flicks his hair out of his eyes and leans over the counter a little, grinning. His bracelets pool around his skinny wrists with a soft clack of plastic and wood.

The taller of the two humans, a lean man with shoulders like woah, dark red hair, and the palest blue green eyes – like sea glass – returns his grin. “Um, don’t suppose you sell coffee?”

“No chance,” Alim says. His face falls, so Alim hastens to add, “the coffee from Josephine’s next door is amazing, and I have no problem with you bringing a takeaway cup back here if your friend is staying to drink my tea.”

The man’s grin returns, this time shy and uncertain. “No, that’s alright. I’ll try a tea.”

“What would you like?” Alim glances between the tall man and his so far silent companion, trying to guess their tastes. “Will you share a pot, or would you like two different drinks?”

“Um,” the tall human says again, and looks to his friend for the answer.

His friend is only slightly shorter, and just as broad through the shoulders. He’s equally thick through his barrel chest, and a slight soft belly strains the front of his Bull’s Chargers tee shirt. His skin is a light brown that could possibly be a tan, but Alim suspects is more likely the result of genetics. He looks just as awkward as the tall red-head, though a little less shy.

“Let’s share,” the second man says. “You like black tea, right?”

“Can I make a suggestion?” Alim says. “We have a very lovely spiced Tevinter tea that you might like. It’s best brewed strong, and with plenty of honey, and goes nicely with the date pastries on display there.”

“That sounds nice,” the taller man says.

Alim gestures to the multitude of empty tables. “Take a seat, and I’ll bring it over to you.”

It doesn’t take long to get the pot of tea and the pastries ready, and Alim carries everything over to them on a silver tray. The two men are sitting on the same side of the table, talking in low voices. Alim thinks they might be holding hands.

He returns to the kitchen to continue his dishes, and stops for a moment to send a quick message to Leliana.

Help! About 400 lbs of beefcake just walked in here and I’m torn between ogling because wow or squeeing because I think they’re on a date with each other.

His phone buzzes as soon as he locks it, and he opens it up hoping for a response. Not Leliana, just another message on what Marta affectionately refers to as his ‘ho-stagram’ account. Probable that weird elf ear fetishist who can’t take a hint and makes a new account every time Alim blocks him. He doesn’t bother checking. As long as his dry spell has been, he has a date tonight with a good friend, a couple bottles of wine, and a mindless action tv-show.

The bell jingles again and he leaves his phone next to the sink to check it out.

“Speak of the devil, or rather, message her,” he greets Leliana warmly.

The human woman laughs and comes up to the counter, taking a sneaky glance at the two men happily enjoying their tea at the table in the back. “Pure beef indeed,” she quips. “They looks cute together.”

“Won’t Oriana get jealous if she catches you looking?” Alim teases.

“Please! She’d be looking along with me. Benefits of a bisexual girlfriend.”

“What brings you in?”

“Running an errand for Ori. She’s after some of that amazing anti-nausea tea you make. Valora has terrible morning sickness and Ori thought your tea might help.”

“Proper medicine might help more,” Alim says.

“She’s on proper medicine,” Leliana says. “But apparently that tea you made when Shianni had an ear infection works better.”

“I’m sure it’s just, what do you call it? Psychosomatic? Placebo effect?” Alim pulls canisters down off the shelf and starts measuring out scoops of dried herbs into a bowl.

“Whatever works,” Leliana says. “I’ll get some of your hangover tea too.”

Alim measures out the nausea blend, humming happily, and pours it into a paper bag. Then he fetches a clean bowl and starts on his favourite hangover tea.

“You know it’s just Seheron green tea, lavender and elfroot, right?” Alim says.

Leliana shrugs. “I tried to make my own once. Didn’t work as well.”

“Probably needed a better green tea,” Alim says. He hands over both bags, neatly labelled in his best chicken scratch, and tells her the price.

“Thank you,” Leliana says. She hoists herself up so she can lean over the counter and kiss him on the cheek. “You’re magical.”

Alim kisses her cheek in return. “Now we both know that’s not true. See you Saturday?”

“Saturday,” Leliana confirms. She gives him a last wave as she heads out the door.

“Your girlfriend?”

The shorter of the two beefcakes has approached the counter while he was distracted with Leliana.

“Just a good friend,” Alim says. “She’s in a happy relationship, and I’m gay and – tragically – single. What can I get you?”

Shorter beefcake laughs. “We’d like another couple of those spiced teas to takeaway if we could.”

Alim grins. “Thought you’d like that one. I’ll make up two to go. You want to settle the bill?”

“Yes please.” He hands over bills and Alim hands him his change. “I’m sure we’ll be back soon. We’ve both just started with Duncan at the Warden Joinery.”

“Oh?” Alim starts the tea steeping. “I know Duncan. Do you mind dropping off a parcel for him? I know he gets these awful migraines and I have a new tisane for him to try.”

“Tis-what-now?”

“Tisane. It’s a fancy word for tea without any tea leaves in it,” Alim says. He digs under the counter for a couple of extra canisters. “We’re supposed to call it that here.”

“Learn something new everyday.”

Alim scoops, measures and crushes, and hands the resulting mixture in a labeled paper bag over to the beefcake. “No charge. I just want to know how he finds it.”

Taller beefcake approaches the counter, and Alim quickly pours their tea, adds the honey, and snaps the lids onto the takeaway cups.

“So do we just tell Duncan the tea is from a short red-headed elf?” Taller beefcake asks.

Alim laughs. “My name is Alim.”

“I’m Aedan,” taller beefcake says, “and this is Alistair.”

“How weird that we all have ‘A’ names,” Alim says. Wow, way to be as dorky as possible.

Aedan gives him a polite chuckle. “Well, see you around, Alim.”

“Bye,” Alim says. He watches them walk out and briefly contemplated flipping the sign to ‘Closed’ even though he technically has another eight minutes, but Elegant would have his head if she caught him. Instead be buses Alistair and Aedan’s table and takes their dishes to the kitchen to wash. He keeps an ear out, but the bell above the door doesn’t chime again, and precisely seven and a half minutes later he skips over to the front door, flips the sign, and twists the lock.

Freedom.

Amaranthine isn’t nearly as big as, say, Highever or Denerim, but it still takes him a good half hour to cycle from the historic market district where Camellia’s is to his run down flat on the edge of the industrial docks. It’s not close enough to the beach to have an ocean view, but it’s cheap enough that he can afford it, and – most importantly – he gets to live alone. Too many years of boarding school means he’s had his fill of house mates and people in his space.

He stows his bicycle in the shared garage on the ground floor, then clatters up the stairs to his flat. There’s no lift – the place is old, though not quite old enough to count as historic – but four flights isn’t that much. His flat is tiny. If it were newer, it would probably be called a studio and feature white, square-edged furniture and hardwood floors. Instead the furniture is whatever he could buy second hand or steal off the footpath on hard-rubbish day, and the floor is beige and green linoleum, but it’s neat and it’s quiet and it’s his. Best of all, it gets a lot of afternoon sun, so all the plants on his kitchen counters and window sills are flourishing in shocks of silver and green.

Alim checks the time on his phone. He has about an hour before Marta shows up with the wine, and he’d better take a shower and make some food in that time. He pauses long enough to take advantage of the gorgeous late afternoon light and snap a half-dressed photo of himself in his oversized mirror to upload to his Instagram. It’s a good one – he’s almost completely silhouetted against the light, but you can just see that he’s wearing nothing but a shirt, shrugged off of his shoulders enough that the angle of one delicate shoulder blade is visible. Artsy.

He has a handful of notifications on the photo by the time he gets out of the shower. He pauses, wearing nothing but his towel, to check them.

One, from Freddy, is just the crude use of an eggplant emoji. Alim grins. He misses Freddy. Maybe he should see what a train ticket to Montsimmard would cost. It would be nice to visit him.

His phone pings a Snapchat notification from Gethin Mahariel, which means either Gethin is in town, or has climbed to the top of a ridiculous tall tree somewhere in the Brecilian Forest to get phone reception. Knowing his friend, the second is probably more likely.

The snap is a copy of his Instagram photo with a sloppily drawn circle around the stubby little cactus just visible on the left edge, and the text “everything is a dildo if you’re brave enough”.

Alim laughs so hard he snorts, then takes a quick snap of his horrified face and sends it back with the text “GETHIN NO!!”

Two seconds later her receives a reply snap. Gethin is indeed clinging to the top of a tree, grinning like an idiot into his camera. The caption simply reads “GETHIN YES!”

Alim sighs and drops his phone onto his bed. He rummages for clothes, settling on a Sera Bee tee shirt from her concert in Denerim, and a plain black kilt worn soft with so many washes. He might be forced to wear trousers by Elegant’s safety rules at Camellia’s, but he’ll be damned if he’ll wear the horrid things on his own time. It takes all of two minutes to tidy up his shoebox-sized flat and spread another blanket on top of his bed. It’s something Leliana’s girlfriend Ori gave him for his birthday, a crocheted monstrosity covered in frolicking nugs. It’s his favourite.

He’s just putting the finishing touches on dinner, a Nevarran dish with a lot of chickpeas, when someone knocks on his door.

“If that’s you Marta, come in,” he calls out. “If it’s a burglar, go away.”

Marta’s laughing as she comes through the door. “Yeah, because burglars will totally just walk off.”

“You never know,” Alim says. “They might think I sound scary.”

“You scare no one, Toothpick,” Marta says.

Marta Brosca is broad, even for a dwarf, and muscled like a power lifter. Dressed as she is in jeans and a tee with the sleeves ripped off, her arm muscles are even more apparent. She waves the two bottles of wine dangling from one hand as she closes and locks the door, an easy grin on her round face.

“Your hair!” Alim blurts out.

The last time he’d seen her, her hair had been acid green and styled in a mohawk. Now it’s gone, buzzed back to a quarter-inch long stripe of her natural brown.

“The bleach fried it,” she says. “It’s okay, I’ll grow it out again. I’m thinking blue this time.”

“You look shorter now,” he teases.

“Losing six inches of hair will do that,” she says. She follows the comment with a sniff, then pulls a face. “Why don’t you ever cook normal food?”

“Because Fereldan food is boring and I couldn’t find any deep mushrooms at the market.”

“Nothing wrong with boring,” Marta grumbles, but she fills her bowl to the brim all the same while Alim finds some glasses for their wine.

They sit on his bed, it being the only real piece of furniture in the place with a view of the TV, with their backs propped against the wall and their meals in their laps. The head and foot of the bed – solid timber – are just wide enough for their wine glasses to perch on. Alim turns on the TV and calls up the Netflix menu. It’s technically Ori’s family’s account, but her father is generous enough to let her friends use it.

“More Hard in Hightown?” Alim says.

Marta hums around a mouthful of food. “There’s that new horror film they shot at Montsimmard University,” she says once she’s swallowed. “We could see if we can spot your Freddy in the extras.”

“Is that the one with the evil mage as the villain? No thanks.”

“Aw, why not?”

Alim sighs. “I don’t know. Blame that documentary Morrigan made us watch. I just don’t like seeing mages as villains anymore. Besides, I like to think I would have been a mage if the Inquisitor hadn’t cut the world off from the Fade entirely back in the Dragon Age.”

“You just think that because your fancy Chantry boarding school was in the old mage tower.”

“That and, I don’t know…” he pauses, stuffing food in his mouth to give himself a chance to think. Marta’s only been his friend since he moved to Amaranthine a couple of years ago, but in that time they’ve gotten close, and he trusts her not to make too much fun of his fantasies. “I’ve been having these really vivid dreams lately, about walking through a muddled landscape towards a black city. In the dream, I can make fire and ice and electricity with my thoughts as easy as snapping my fingers.”

“You always have vivid dreams,” Marta says. “There’s the one where you could fly, the one with the griffon hatchlings, the one where you fucked Duncan’s business partner—”

“Hey! You’ve seen Blackwall. You’d want to fuck him too if you were into guys.”

“What makes this dream so different?”

“I don’t know. It feels more real. I can control what I’m doing, sort of. Not like real lucid dreaming, but about halfway to it or something.”

“Weird,” Marta says. “Well, more Hard in Hightown it is, then.”

#my fic #dao sort of #dragon age au #male surana #female brosca #male cousland #tea shop au #tea witch au #there's no magic in this modern thedas #until suddenly there is #idk what i'm doing but i wanted to share it anyway

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