#and yes he's insane why do you ask. was that not obvious yet

[ruvviks]

– Mr. Blue Sky.

Characters >> Cassidy Shaffer (oc), Sebastian Vidal (other's oc) Total >> 3.8k words Warnings >> Blood mention, injuries, violence

The colorful streets of the Glen were busy and crowded, many people out and about- as per usual, especially at that hour of the day, though for some reason it felt worse than on most days as if everyone had decided to leave their home that morning to bother Cassidy specifically.

Not that he minded it much, in that moment; he stood in an alley all by himself, safely tucked away from the large crowds and standing in the shadows of the tall buildings to either of his sides with his vision connected to a nearby street camera allowing him to see the main road without having to physically be there.

Any minute now.

He was waiting again.

“Just a simple assassination job”, he had said to himself, when he had taken the contract at the start of that year. “Week’s worth of work, tops.” And, truly- how hard could it be? A single target, only a handful of people surrounding him with enough room to catch him by himself on the regular.

Yet there Cassidy was, knee deep into that same very job which had by then already taken up a good two months of his life; and despite his hopes and despite his rather drastic change of strategy, he still could not say for certain he was going to finish it now.

He flinched when a fly buzzed by his ear and he slapped it away, nearly losing his balance as he quickly blinked and his vision returned to his body. He redistributed his weight and slightly shifted on the seat of his motorcycle until he stood steady again- and then quickly reconnected to the camera, hoping his target hadn’t passed by in the brief seconds he hadn’t been paying attention.

He had found a new location; another safehouse, he assumed, located in a densely populated area and secured well enough for him to know better than to try and attack it directly. Entirely possible; yet a little drastic and Cassidy was still confident enough in his own abilities to deem a reckless solo attack unnecessary.

For the time being, that is.

Instead, he had spent his week monitoring surrounding streets. It was easy to lose a vehicle there, especially with the limited amount of live street view feeds to his disposal and properly tracking it to another location was near impossible; but that was not necessary. It was not what he was after at all.

All he needed was a vehicle. And he had found one.

Two, actually; Sebastian had not taken the same car every day, a solid enough strategy to keep people off his trail which would work against most of Night City’s amateur mercs and hitmen.

But Cassidy had a keen eye and enough experience with tracking people down to realize the two cars- as well as the several, seemingly random but to him easily predictable routes out of the sub-district- belonged to the same person- and all he had to do now was wait for either of those cars to show up.

No more talking.

It had not worked in the slightest last time; and it still occasionally kept him awake at night. Embarrassing, almost, how little he had achieved with the laughable attempt and if he could turn back time to do it all over and just stop talking and pull the fucking trigger instead, he would-

Cassidy clenched his jaw and shook his head, as if that would help pushing the thought away. Dwelling on past mistakes would get him nowhere. All he could focus on now was making sure it would never happen again.

He let his gaze slowly move over the street again, closely inspecting every car that passed by. Checking their license plates would be of no use; he had drawn that conclusion early on. Sebastian’s license plates were digital- not a rare sight in town, but whatever daemon had been installed on them made it impossible for street cameras to record their contents.

A strategic advantage, mostly; yet simultaneously a weakness. Not many cars drove around with a blank license plate.

There you are.

A big, sturdy-looking black sports car with additional plating lining the front and sides- Cassidy did not know enough about cars to be able to tell what type it was, but he recognized it immediately and the corner of his mouth slightly pulled up when he zoomed in on the license plate, and noticed it was empty.

Bingo.

Cassidy quickly disconnected his vision from the camera again, heartbeat speeding up as he reached for his helmet and put it on his head. His hands moved down, to check the holsters on his belt- a submachine gun and one of his handguns, both ready for use.

No more talking.

It would be impossible for Sebastian to hear him anyway and Cassidy had to admit he was a little bit proud of himself for coming up with a situation that would allow him to simply focus on the task at hand; no distractions, no unnecessary back and forth, just a quick and easy pull of the trigger and the job would be done.

He had always had to find workarounds for himself. He just hoped it would work this time.

He started the engine and carefully left the safety of the alley, turning on his turn signal as he patiently waited for an opportunity to steer onto the main road. Sebastian’s car was a little bit further up ahead already, but that didn’t matter- it required little effort to catch up with him. He didn’t worry.

Cassidy wasn’t a fan of cars.

Of course he could drive one- it had been a requirement back at MaxTac and he had spent more hours behind the wheel of one of their combat vehicles than on his own motorcycle- but he found it all but comforting to go over seventy miles an hour in a bulky death box on wheels with limited view on his surroundings and he had always feared he would end up crashing into either the guardrail or the car in front of him.

He swiftly maneuvered between some cars, accelerating as he began closing in on Sebastian’s car. Another car ahead of him suddenly switched lanes- but Cassidy had seen it happen and moved out of the way with ease, passing by the vehicle on its other side.

He enjoyed feeling in control of a situation. And that is exactly what his bike gave him- a sense of control, both over himself as well as his surroundings, easily fitting between other vehicles but simultaneously sturdy enough to not get knocked down at the slightest of physical contact.

He accelerated even more, switching lanes to get on Sebastian’s other side and he kept a close eye on the street around him, shoulders a little tenser than before; despite his relatively neutral attitude towards death, Cassidy always took great care to prevent collateral deaths from happening, and with the great amount of people still cluttering the road he was starting to become a little nervous.

He slowly reached for his submachine gun the closer he got, exhaling deeply in an attempt to calm himself down as he took it and wrapped his finger around the trigger. Despite him missing his target on several occasions already, there was nothing wrong with his general aim; anyone else dying could easily be avoided, and if he did it right the whole job would be over within seconds-

Cassidy pulled the trigger.

The bullets hit one of the car’s backseat windows and it shattered into a million pieces, instantly making Sebastian aware of- well, at least someone’s presence. Before Cassidy got the opportunity to adjust his aim slightly to the left his target turned right and drove off at higher speed than before, steering onto the highway to City Center.

Cassidy followed suit, holding on to both his bike and the gun; a bit awkward on the turns, but he managed, and the highway allowed him to pursue his target better anyway without the risk of him accidentally hitting an innocent pedestrian.

He could not help but notice the ease with which Sebastian maneuvered between the other cars on the highway, very much like how he himself rode his bike. He clenched his jaw and pushed his worries out of his head; it wasn’t helping him. Sure, Sebastian was skilled- but so was he, and he had no excuse for yet another failure.

The second he was close enough again, Cassidy fired once more, gunfire muffled by the roaring noise of the engine of his bike and the bullets finding their way to- and through- the car’s rear window with ease. He reached the last of his ammo with a loud click; and steadied himself on his bike before rapidly letting go of the handlebar and reloading.

A risky maneuver- but he was not alone in that. The second he grabbed both handlebars again Sebastian made a sharp turn- and without warning drove onto the wrong half of the highway, creating a significant distance between himself and Cassidy as he swerved around some incoming traffic.

Cassidy accelerated, his heart racing in his chest while he attempted to catch up with his target- but he wisely stayed on the correct side of the road and waited, carefully watching the incoming cars and calculating the right moment to move in-

An incoming truck caused Sebastian to switch lanes to the right, once again moving closer and Cassidy sped up once more, positioning himself right next to the car. He raised his gun again and wrapped his finger around the trigger-

But suddenly the car was a lot closer than he had expected and he had to hit the brakes, almost causing himself to fly off the bike while Sebastian’s car moved by, right in front of him and nearly hitting his front wheel.

A car honked behind Cassidy and he briefly swerved onto the wrong side of the road to make space for one- two- three- cars behind him that had rapidly caught up with him. A close call- but he couldn’t waste any more time thinking about what could have happened and instead briefly holstered his gun, readying himself to catch up with his target.

Sirens.

Crap.

Cassidy glanced over his shoulder and noticed an NCPD vehicle closing in quickly, with a drone in pursuit from the sky. He had sincerely hoped to finish the job before any of this would happen, but considering his horrible luck thus far the situation didn’t surprise him anymore.

He clenched his jaw and swiftly switched lanes, slowing down ever so slightly while making sure Sebastian’s car was still in his line of sight; another glance over his shoulder and he locked onto the drone, easily causing it to drop out of the sky with a quickhack.

Keeping half an eye on the road in front of him, Cassidy leaned down and reached back with one hand to the side of his bike- and he grabbed the outer edge of a rolled up spike mat and pulled it free, while simultaneously switching lanes again to position himself right in front of the NCPD vehicle- and he dropped the mat, popping both the front tires of the car.

Problem solved.

It still bothered him a little, how easily he could deal with any other situation except for his target. A relief simultaneously- in the midst of his overthinking he had occasionally wondered if he had simply just lost all of the skills he had worked so hard for over the years- yet it also made his frustration worse with every passing minute.

Cassidy took a moment to look around, eyes rapidly scanning the highway as he exhaled sharply. He could hear more sirens in the distance, slowly closing in; but it could be for something entirely else, considering- well, it was Night City after all.

He found Sebastian’s car with ease, several lanes to his right and far ahead- and about to turn right, leaving the highway onto the exit lane with a large gap between the road Cassidy himself was still on- and he saw no clear path to switch lanes in time anymore.

Unless…?

Inhale, exhale.

The guardrail was too high to jump over, but with a boost he could make it; a drop of over fifty feet down were he to miss the exit lane, and- despite his history with surviving falls from that height- he knew with just his bike to catch him on the way down he wouldn’t make it out in one piece.

Cassidy accelerated and maneuvered around some cars, clearing his path straight towards an empty and lowered car hauler truck. Too late to switch lanes; too dangerous and time-consuming to turn back to do so, and he was not planning on losing Sebastian again.

It’s just a small gap. We’ll make it.

Bravery. Stupidity. Desperation. Cassidy had long given up justifying his reckless behavior- he simply needed to get the job done.

That was all there was to it.

Cassidy exhaled and drove right onto the lowered car hauler truck and he made a sharp right turn, effectively launching himself with bike and all into the air and over the guardrail of both the main road and the exit lane on the other side of the gap.

He knew exactly what it felt like. To fall.

To feel entirely weightless and yet so heavy all at the same time, a strange tingling deep down in his stomach, curious anticipation- when would it end? When would he land?

He was flying. Seemingly slow-motion, and he glanced down at the ground below- solid earth with trash scattered all over, merely small dots from his perspective so high up in the sky.

It had been different, last time.

He had not known where the ground below him started and where the collapsing floors of the building below his feet ended; had only briefly seen the sky above his head before the dust and smoke had obscured his vision, and he had not known whether or not the rest of the building would spare him or bury him in the rubble with everyone else who had been inside at the time.

The strange tingling in his stomach had been overwhelming, in sync with the loud rumbling noise of the orphanage crashing down around him.

And when he had finally landed, it had taken him six months to wake up again.

Cassidy’s bike finally hit solid ground and his teeth clacked together hard on impact. He briefly struggled regaining control over the bike and swerved around a car, ignoring the honking as he barely scraped past the guardrail on the other side.

He’d made it.

Easy.

Cassidy sped up, zigzagging around cars until he was close enough to Sebastian again, as if nothing special had just happened at all- though his heart was still racing in his chest to the point he was starting to get a little light-headed. He reached for his submachine gun once more and aimed it at the already shattered rear window, steadying himself and pulling the trigger.

But a sharp, violent pain in his right leg caused him to cry out and he dropped his weapon, nearly driving over it as he grabbed the handlebar of his bike and regained his balance. The car on his right had hit him- a purposeful attack, as the driver briefly moved away then went for another hit.

Cassidy tried to move out of the way, involuntary tears blurring his view from the pain- but the side of his bike hit the guardrail on his other side and he nearly lost balance a second time, and he quickly hit the brakes to get behind the car instead.

The bravery- or stupidity- of some of Night City’s residents never failed to amaze him. It had happened before, on several occasions- an assassination attempt stopped by a random passerby- and he knew it most definitely wouldn’t be the last time.

But oh, how fucking frustrating it was.

The road opened up again and Cassidy maneuvered around the car as fast as he could, ignoring the driver honking at him and instead focusing entirely on his target again. As annoyed as he was- he was not going to make a random civilian pay for that. He had more important things to worry about.

He instinctively reached for his holster again; but it was empty now, his submachine gun left behind on the highway. He briefly glanced down and fumbled to get to his handgun instead, and glanced back up just in time-

Sebastian swerved around, effectively turning around his car as he began driving backwards, directly facing Cassidy. He leaned out of the window, holding the wheel with one hand and pointed a gun in Cassidy’s direction-

Ah. Great.

Cassidy hit the brakes and swerved to the left, causing the bullets to hit the asphalt next to him. He turned right, switching lanes and attempting to take shelter behind some cars; but they had noticed the gunfire as well and all slowed down or steered away, to get as far away from the pursuit as possible.

Cassidy maneuvered around to the other side of the road again, occasionally speeding up and slowing down as he dodged Sebastian’s bullets- and couldn’t help but notice he was merely aiming for his wheels.

Any other part of Cassidy and his bike would be a much easier target.

And yet-

He hit the brakes and vanished behind a truck, allowing Sebastian’s car to leave his line of sight for the time being. He carefully steered around, taking a brief moment to catch his breath before reemerging from the other side- but by then, Sebastian had turned his car around again and was visibly trying to make his escape by speeding up.

The bridge was ahead.

A wide open space with no escapes to either side, making it the perfect opportunity for Cassidy to get a clear shot; and hopefully land a hit. He understood entirely why Sebastian wanted to cross it as quickly as possible and followed suit, leaning forward as far as he could as he pushed his bike to its speed limits.

This is it.

He could end it all, right then and there. Going faster than ever before- and for a brief moment, he felt like he was flying again- rapidly steering around cars and getting closer and closer with every passing second.

Sebastian’s car was so close- but not close enough. Cassidy no longer wanted to take any risk; if he could just catch up with him a little bit more, he would-

Two cars switched lanes at the same time, diagonally from each other. Cassidy took notice; and so did his target. He accelerated and moved between the two cars, creating more distance between himself and the motorcycle behind him, and Cassidy wasted no time and followed him, the gap between the two cars getting smaller and smaller-

He fit through.

Except for his back wheel.

Cassidy was knocked off balance and he skidded sideways onto the starting lane of the car that had hit him. He tried to steady himself again by turning to the right- almost riding right into the second car- but he was already too far into his fall and-

He had still been awake, when he had hit the ground.

For a brief moment, he had been wide awake, bleeding eyes staring up at the sky while the dust around him settled. He remembered it well, somehow; a sunny day, late spring. Not a cloud in sight.

And all he remembered from that moment on, was pain.

Burning, incapacitating pain, rapidly running through his entire body, locking up his muscles and jaw and tearing through his muscles and nerves, ripping him apart from the inside out. Partially stuck under rubble, he had not been able to breathe-

And he had lost consciousness.

Oh, but he was wide awake, now.

His body hit the asphalt of the road sideways and he rolled off his motorcycle, pulling his arms to his chest instinctively as the world spun around him. And when he finally stopped, he could see the car that had hit him close in fast-

He braced himself, but no impact followed.

The car came to a stop right next to him.

The sky was blue.

Cassidy watched an Arasaka aircraft hover over the bridge high above him, his eyes slowly trailing its path, and he frowned; confusion, but for a vastly different reason than expected-

He could feel the warmth of the sun on his body, moving through his clothes. The slight breeze blowing over, causing the hairs on his arm in the gap between his jacket and gloves to stand up straight.

Cassidy slowly moved, his entire body sore. Painful- but to the point he could barely feel it anymore, all his nerves screaming for attention at the very same time causing his brain to block all of it out. He was not sure if he was still in one piece; it felt like one of the cybernetic bones in his leg was knocked out of its joint, but he would not be able to tell until he would get to a safehouse to take a better look.

He stood up.

People were yelling at him, honking their cars- yet no one helped, and he paid them no mind as he looked at the road ahead of him.

Sebastian was nowhere to be seen anymore.

Sirens again, closing in fast and most definitely for him this time. Cassidy frowned again- he had trouble breathing, a heavy weight pressing down on his chest; possibly because of the crash, which wouldn’t surprise him- but he felt…something else.

Stress?

Fear?

He glanced behind him and slowly stumbled back to his motorcycle. It was heavy- a lot heavier than he remembered it being, for some reason, but after a brief struggle he managed to set it back upright and step back on it.

His heart was beating irregularly. He was nearly painfully aware of that, now.

He turned around.

It was of no use to try and find his target back and the NCPD was closing in fast. Another failed attempt- yet for some reason it did him nothing, mind entirely elsewhere as he listened to the sound of his own breathing, and the thudding of his heartbeat in his ears.

He’d lost focus.

It was of no use.

So Cassidy turned back, and drove off into the direction he had come from; riding right by the NCPD following him, knowing they would not be fast enough to turn around. Left the highway, knowing it would be easier to lose them downtown, and he vanished once more into the crowds of people.

A strange knot taking shape in his stomach, Cassidy briefly glanced up at the sky once more-

It was blue. Not a cloud in sight.

#nuclearwriting #fic:two sides of the same coin #rbs much appreciated :) <3 #IT'S FINALLY HERE. ARE YOU FUCKING PROUD OF ME #i cannot write car chases sorry about that. car go vroom motorcycle go brr they are chasing each other. the end #fun fact: not a word is said by cassidy in this chapter. tee hee and lol #and yes he's insane why do you ask. was that not obvious yet #he is a curious little boy i love him so

[tremendum]

Mr. Miller’s House 

pairing: joel miller x fem!reader (afab, use of she/her, use of the word girl)    

rating: explicit. (18+. mdni.)      

word count: 7.6k  requested: yes  summary: “Joel was a mean, mean man. and you eat it up like a woman starved for months.” warnings: mentions of food/eating, drinking alcohol, age gap (unspecified), Jackson era, Ellie gets a splinter, Joel is honestly rude to Ellie in this and reader is judgy about Joel’s parenting practices lol. but really,  this is just filthy smut (PiV, unprotected), dirty talk, sir kink, use of the word slut a LOT, one use of the word bitch, humiliation/degradation, hints of masochism, choking, exhibitionism, public smut, rough sex, dom!Joel, mean joel, lots of fighting/anger, cumplay, dirty talk, ass spanking, pussy spanking, mentions of blood (reader gets scraped knees), throat/facefucking, rough oral (m!receiving), overstimulation, dacryphilia, multiple orgasms. lmk if i missed any please lmfao

notes: okay jesus fucking christ!!! i wrote this so fasst lol but it was fun and highly requested. hope yall like it.  as always reblogs/asks/comments are always great motivations :’) this is not reread because as i have said before im lazy and INSANE! 

[this is a sequel to Mr Miller.    part three   other Joel fics:     fever       landmines  ]

★  

this was a mistake. you shouldn't have done this....this was a terrible idea. 

fuck. 

the chair is stiff beneath you. there's a hard coolness about it that is welcomed on the skin of your bare legs, the shorts you wear helpful in the heat of summer but futile against the slick of sweat that sheens your skin. the chair is hard, but yet still strong, sturdy.

 you swallow dryly, heart beating fast. it's the same chair you sat at just a few weeks ago, signing the log with Joel leaning over your shoulder, before he-

you look away, around, anywhere in order to avoid the memories, hot and boiling and clawing at your mind and suffocating you until you stop breathing- and then your eyes settle, they glue themselves across the kitchen table. 

they glue themselves to him. 

fuck. 

Joel's already staring at you; his lips are downturned in that permanent grimace he always sports, the muscles of his torso rigid with immobility - perhaps he thinks if he's still enough, the ground will just swallow him whole and he won't have to do this. 

you yearn for that escape as much as he does. 

then, out of the silence; "see, this isn't so bad." 

speak for yourself, Ellie. 

both heads in the room turn to the speaker slowly, the girl watching between the two of you, more than willing to ignore the obvious disdain in the air. she's grinning like a damn devil. 

this girl's going to kill you. 

it is that bad, contrary to Ellie's statement. 

it'd been days of her begging you, with a tug on the hand, a punch to the shoulder, and countless pleads and threats until you finally caved in and accepted her proposal to have her and Joel over for dinner. 

no matter how much you detest her guardian, you just can't resist those big puppy-dog eyes, or that gigantic, youthful smile. 

for the last few months, Ellie has grown to be quite the little farmhand for you; though you like to keep to yourself on your days in the gardens, it was nice to have the girl buzzing around you and the other gardeners, pollinating each person she sees with questions like what really happens in germination and is this ripe? can I pull it? 

it's cute, how excited she is to show Joel all of the crops you've grown with her in the last few months. but what isn't cute, is that it's him that has to be here. of all people, why did Joel have to be the one Ellie chose as her father? 

because.... things weren't okay between you and Joel. 

you're not sure if you were childish for expecting for him to warm up to you after - well, after the time he bent you on this table and fucked you stupid - but you hadn't been prepared for the coldest shoulder you've ever gotten in your measly life for the last few weeks. 

it didn't help that the summer was kicking up and you needed more crops than ever for the commune; your patrolling had dwindled into maybe one or two every week or so, usually with Maria - so you didn't have to face Joel, really, at all. 

but he avoided you like the plague when in town or on your street (though, he did that with everyone) and even at the Tipsy Bison, where your presence would clean him from the room before a drop of condensation could even slide down his glass of whiskey. 

hell, maybe he even put a word in with Maria and Tommy that the last patrol together didn't go as planned; you'd even considered doing it at one point. you're not sure, but it just made you all the more irritated when you'd catch glimpses of their porch in the afternoons, Joel holding a guitar around Ellie's chest, chuckling as she strummed horribly. as if everything was okay. like you didn’t exist. 

the anger and hatred grew awful. 

it festered, grew when Maria mentioned off-handedly to Tommy that some woman, Dahlia, had taken a liking to Joel. you'd nearly shattered the glass you were holding in your fist at that; Joel, with Dahlia? that grumpy piece of shit, taking a liking to someone sweet and kind like her? 

you ought to punch his fucking face. 

you're zoned out when Ellie suddenly comes into your line of sight; reaching over your chest to grab a slice of the fresh bread you'd picked up earlier that day. you blink back into reality as Joel grunts, "E-Ellie, hey." he's shaking his head as he gestures to her arm, "use your manners." 

he sounds almost embarrassed; annoyed. your mind betrays you as it whirls back; when Joel had you pinned down on this very table, commanding you in a different way, his eyes dark with delight as you cried and writhed for him. 

but at his chastising, you send Ellie a sneaky look, rolling your eyes when Joel's looking down. the girl chuckles at that and an untrusting Joel stares daggers between the two of you. Ellie clears her throat with a smirk,  "sorry. can you please pass me the bread?" 

you grin, "why, yes, ma'am." you hand her the basket, "thank you for asking." you add to the girl on your right, your eyes on Joel's. he stares back harshly, hand grabbing for the glass of wine that sits in front of him. 

another few moments of tension before Elie decided to take it upon herself to introduce as much of the food that sits on the table in front of you as she can remember. 

peas, spinach, lentil and cabbage stew, beet salad, goat cheese and roasted carrots, cauliflower mash. fresh bread.

proteins from animals are scarce and are typically served in only the dining hall, so you decided to skip the meat and serve roasted artichoke instead. Joel doesn't look too thrilled about that as Ellie explains. you hide your scoff behind a sip of your dark wine. 

"-and, look, I planted these beets." Ellie points to the bowl on the table which houses arugula and beet salad; you smirk down at the plate as Joel hums as if interested. his eyes flicker to yours from across the table as Ellie delves in on a tangent about how bloody beets look, those dark pupils flickering over your face before flitting back to the young girl. his eyes were swimming with something else, something.... seductive. 

a shiver runs down your spine.

does he ever think about it? 

you do. you think about it every night - how his hands felt, rough, unforgiving; the look on his face, that dark smirk when he'd made you beg for him to ruin you... the frenzy in his eyes when he'd ‘taught you some goddamn manners,’ when he'd taken you apart brutally and quick. Joel was a mean, mean man. and you eat it up like a woman starved for months. 

your name calls you back to Ellie, whose eyes are wide and tracing over a rough, splintered notch in your table, "the hell is this from, is it-" her fingers jolt away at the rugged piece that slides into her skin, "shit!" she yelps, shaking her hand. 

your brows furrow, rising to help her as Joel pulls her hand towards him.  "I have tweezers." you mutter, disappearing into your bathroom to pull out your tweezers, returning to see Ellie smiling in embarrassment and Joel sitting with his arms crossed, amused irritation lacing his face. his beard is growing in more recently - you can hear the noise of the short bristles scratching his hand as he rubs his knuckles over his jawline. 

nodding, pleased that Ellie's discomfort has subsided, you set your tweezers on your right, spearing some salad on your fork as silence cradles you three yet again. 

it’s only tense and silent for a moment. then Ellie speaks, and it’s just tense.

"why is there a notch like that in your table?" she finally wheezes, as if she'd been summoned to be silent until she couldn't handle her curiosity anymore. 

you don't have to look up to know that a pair of dark eyes pin you to your chair, daring you to say something about it. 

your throat dries as you swallow your mouthful of salad, coughing a bit. 

a rip in your flannel, the grazing of your soft skin with the blade. a hand pulling hard to dislodge the knife from its home against you; the thick slide of Joel as he drags his length through your destroyed, spent core. 

"um- I-I" perhaps it's your panic, of the knowledge that his eyes are glued to you, but soon your eyes meet his; unwavering. "well. someone likes to threaten people when they can't find patrol logs." 

"Joel!" Ellie hisses, smacking his arm, "you fucking stabbed her table and didn’t do anything about it?” she’s grinning. 

"yeah, Joel," you smirk, swirling with desire as his hawkish gaze pins you to your chair, "you really should use your manners. you've ruined my table." 

"shut the hell up right now." he snaps at you, hand slamming his fork down harshly onto the plate. you and Ellie both jump at the sternness in his voice. 

you listen, for once. 

and honestly, ten minutes ago feels like heaven compared to the tenseness of this silence. 

several minutes go by, the sounds of scraping forks and knives and the meager attempts by you and Ellie to salvage a decent dinner conversation ringing soft in your kitchen. 

at least you and her are trying. 

you ignore the notch from the knife like a wildfire and pretend Joel isn't even with you; Ellie is more than enough life and laughter for you, and your playful disposition matches hers perfectly despite the joy-damper of a man sat across from you. 

he's stewing. arms crossed, chewing on food here and then, mostly listening and sighing, brushing off Ellie's jabs or playful questions or stories. he won't do anything except eat and glare at you. 

the wine bottle is nearly gone and you're not sure if it's his fault or yours. probably both. 

you snap when he just outright ignores Ellie, shaking his head with a sigh and taking another bite. the audacity. 

"-she asked you a question, Miller." you snap, fed up with his dissociative disposition. you don't even intend to say it; even Ellie looks up at your words, surprised. 

his head turns to face you too slow to be safe. his eyes are fucking furious as he mutters, "excuse me?" 

"hey, guys-" Ellie's hands are out in front of her, but you can't take your eyes off him. 

"I'm just saying, you could at least try to pay attention." you spit, crossing your arms defensively, "we made this dinner, we're just trying to have a conversation, the least you could do-" 

"you don't tell me what to do." he states, calm and cool, pointing at you. his nose flares as he breaths heavy, your own breath quickening. arousal rushes to your center and you shift on your seat. 

"-listen, maybe this was a bad idea. I knew you weren't the best of friends, but this is-" Ellie starts again, eyes flickering between you both. "this is too awkward." 

"no, Ellie, I'm sorry-" you start to say, breaking. 

you don't want her to be caught in the cross-fire of your problems with Joel; it's unfair. the further this goes, the more she'll be put in a position of mediator, so you figure it should just end now. 

"Ellie, go home." 

Joel growls the demand, eyes looking to her, his hand falling gently to her shoulder. her eyes widen, as if asking him if he's serious. 

"what?" she asks, "no! you'll-you’ll fucking stab each other or something." 

yeah, you think. you might. 

Joel's shaken off her shoulder but he's resilient, "go on, go see the kids for the movie. I'll come later. we just need to sort something out." he mutters, eyes falling to you at the tail end of his sentence. 

shivers roll down your spine; fuck, fuck - a flood of arousal hits you again, and you swallow, willing the feelings to go the fuck away. 

Ellie's scowling, but still has the decency to thank you for dinner before slamming the door hard on her way out of the threshold. 

Joel's eyes stay locked with yours until her footsteps are gone. 

it’s silent for a moment before he speaks. 

"do not fuckin' disrespect me like that in front of her again." he snaps. 

you narrow your eyes, "you're concerned that I- what, I undermined you in front of your girl?" you hiss incredulously. "come on, that's pathetic." 

"I don't like you." he snaps, shoving his plate away from him in an almost childish act of defiance. it’s shocking, the immaturity of his words so sudden. barely prompted. 

it's clear he intends to continue this little confessional of his, but you have no intention of allowing that. 

you roll your eyes, "big fucking deal. what do you want me to say?" you hiss, "sorry that I was rude, Mr. Miller! let me just cook you fucking dinner and invite you over to make up for it." 

his nostrils flare, "never wanted to do this in the first place." he mutters. 

you nearly rip out your hair in frustration. "obviously you didn't! christ, why do you always act like everything you do is a goddamn chore?" you snap, "Ellie wanted to have a nice night and show you what we've been doing- what she's been doing for this community. and all you can do is sit here and act like a fucking asshole because you don't know how to enjoy anything. it's a miracle she's still around with you, when you treat her like that." 

his jaw clicks in anger, "you have no fuckin' clue what we've been through together." his voice is close to a yell, "you don't know how much that girl means to me." 

"then why won't you show her!?" you yell. 

it quiets the room for a moment and a fleeting feeling of pride is squashed when he speaks again. 

his brows raise, a look of realization creeping onto his face. he nods his head, "I see what this is," he lets out a bitter, mocking laugh. "you want me to tell you how much I love your food? y'trying to prove to me that you're not a bad influence on her, after all?" 

you stare at him, anger clouding your sight; are there tears of frustration rimming your eyes? you hope he doesn't notice. 

"-newsflash, darlin', I don't fucking care about you." he finishes, scowl dark. "you're a nuisance. don' know why Tommy took you in, anyways. you're a foul-mouthed, untrustworthy, pathetic little slut- and jus' because you can't stop thinking about my cock doesn't mean I owe anything to you. no dinner, no fuckin- cordial neighborly attitude, nothing." 

thinking about- what?

oh, fuck him. your face burns; your jaw unhinges. of course he thinks this is about you and him. your eyes spare a quick, fleeting glance to the notch in the table before you glare, "well I don't fucking care about you either, Miller. don't be so fucking conceited." 

he laughs, shaking his head as he downs the remainder of his wine before slamming the glass down, but you're not finished. you can't let him think he's won. 

"you’re delusional. I haven't thought of it once." you spit, aflame at his accusation. you feel flustered, still caught off-guard. if anything, it was him who was obsessed with it - you see the way his eyes can't leave you; the way he adjusted his jeans earlier when you leaned over to pull a bowl from your cabinet. 

"really?" he spits, brows raised. his chest moves with the exertion of your yelling and you resist the urge to hit him or stomp your foot or anything. "yes, really." you defend, face heating up under the scrutiny of his knowing gaze. 

"anyone ever tell you you're an awful liar, sweetheart?" he drawls, raising his brows at you. 

you fume, standing up, pointing to the door, "get the fuck out, Joel." 

his eyes light ablaze with the same anger that rages in your heart as he stands, throwing his napkin on his plate, "gladly. food was great." he spits, storming out of the house with no other words. 

-- 

your scowl doesn't leave your face for the entire rest of the night. what- what the fuck was that? how dare Joel assume so much about you- he doesn't know you, at all. 

your eyes fall to the bottle in your hands.

ellie left her water canteen at your place. you were so angry, so mad earlier, that you hadn’t realized she’d left it until a few minutes ago. 

she doesn't need it, right? she could get it next time she comes round. yeah. she'll get it next time, you don't have to go over. right?

no. 

you have to go over. 

the anger within you festers just as much as the slick that plagues the apex of your thighs in the aftermath of your spat with Joel; it's a vicious cycle where you think about his tone, how condescending it was and then you get mad - but some sick part of you wants it to consume you; wants him to consume you. 

you’re fucking obsessed with him. you hate him. 

you need to hear him yell at you again- if-if anything, to get your ten cents in on the argument, and also maybe to get some good content for your wet dreams tonight. jesus christ. 

god, you're so fucked up. 

christ. 

so once you finish cleaning from the remnants of the meal, your legs are carrying you over to his house with Ellie's canteen in your hand before you can second-guess it. 

what the fuck are you doing? 

you're standing on their porch in mere seconds, your breath heavy with wrath. what if Ellie opens the door? well- you suppose, if she does, you'll give her the canteen and talk to her. probably apologize for acting the way you did. no business with Joel, then. yeah.  that’s... that’s fine. 

fuck. why do you want Joel to answer so terribly? 

you know where the answer lies - a coiling beast of arousal, consuming and muddling your mind, just at the apex of your thighs. 

Joel is a fucking asshole. you need him. now. 

your knuckles slam so hard and unforgiving against their door that there is no possibility of them assuming it's anybody else but you at their porch. their light is flickering and dim above you as you stand, canteen in hand, eyes trained forward in determination.  

the door swings open in an air of irritation. 

your face jerks back as Joel Miller stands, staring at you with the disdain of a thousand lifetimes swirling around his eyes. 

"y'here for more?" he snarks. 

your momentary hesitation melts away when his words drip from his lips. a glare pierces him through the eyes when you shove the canteen into his hands, "I'm here for Ellie. she left this." you spit. 

he lets out a chuckle, humor absent from the ring as he scratches his nose, "right." he mutters. "well she ain't home. went to the movie in town." he clips, setting the canteen on the table just inside the house. "y'need me to pass any more of your words of wisdom on to her?" he asks, voice clipped and prickled with sarcasm. 

you glare. "yeah. just do me a favor, tell her I'm sorry her dad is being a hypocritical, neglecting asshole." you snark, sending a false smile up at him as he leans with his arms crossed at the doorway.

you don't miss how he leans into it, how he's not slamming the door on your face. he wants to argue, too. "-and you can suck a dick, Mr. Miller." you add, intending to whirl away on your heel. 

he scoffs, a deep and condescending noise. "thanks for comin' all the way over to return a little canteen. g'night, darlin', hope you don't make too much'a mess when you cum all over that table again tonight thinkin' of how much I hate you. glad y'got your ten cents in." 

your face burns hot in embarrassment, and at the irony of him using the same phrase you’d thought. 

the door moves quick to shut, but your arm moves quicker. 

your hand wedges is just before it shuts, leaving you far too close to Joel than you'd like - gunpowder, pine, and dark amber whiskey surround your senses. again. 

so you shoot another fist forward, aiming for his left jaw; aiming for it to hurt.

he’s going to fucking hurt.  

it doesn't make contact with the warm skin, though: no, his hand has caught your wrist in an iron-tight grip, wrenching your arm down hard. 

you let out a gasp of surprise as he shoves you off of the door and away from him before you can blink. 

but instead of the door slamming in your face, his rough hands are pushing you hard up against the side of his garage. the door behind him remains ajar as he pushes himself into your space, growling at you as your mouth falls open in shock. 

"did you just try to hit me, girl?" he whispers, voice deadly serious. you swallow, arousal rushing down to your heat; you swear you can feel your heartbeat in your pussy as he stares hard at you, but your eyes trail down to his jeans.

you hide your smirk as you take in the stretch of the rough denim, the outline of his own arousal evident even in the dim light. he’s hard because you were going to hit him. 

your body aches as you remember the stretch of him inside you, splitting you open. your eyes flicker back up to his where he breathes heavily, expecting a response. 

you give him one. 

"yes, but you already knew that." you smirk, cocking your head as you boldly gyrate your hips forward slightly, your clothed cunt clenching in desire as you graze his hard-on. "or are you not hard right now, Mr. Miller?" you purr, your voice laced with seduction. 

his rough hand shoves your hips hard back against the wall, a growl slipping his throat. "y'got a dirty fuckin' mouth on you." his breath hits your cheeks in a warm reminder of the wine you'd both had for dinner. 

"so it wasn't because of that?" you ask, blinking in a false sense of innocence, watching as his eyes swim with an animalistic hunger. you've got him right where you want him. "was it from thinking about me touching myself? or, from remembering the last time we were together in my house?" 

his momentary lapse in recovery allows for you to go in for the final kill, "Mr. Miller,” you coo, “do you think of my pussy when you fuck Dahlia? d'you wish it was me?" you spit, smirking up at him as red splatters his furious features, "you can talk all you want, Mr. Miller, but I know you're just a greedy, desperate man who loves to pretend you have any power over me." you whisper into the shell of his ear, palm roughly grabbing the outline of his cock boldly. 

his next movements take your breath away: the shock of his fists slamming hard against the wall on either side of your head makes you jump, and his hawkish, angry eyes bore into yours. 

"get your fuckin' hands off of me. now." 

his voice is... scary. 

the blood leaves your head as your damp spot of your pants floods with desire, the fear spiking a real excitement in you. you are smart enough to follow his orders; the look in his eyes suggests you do so. 

your hands shakily fly back from his crotch to hang by your sides as you stare up at him - nervous. excited, ready. 

his eyes are narrowed, stern as his brows are furrowed low. the permanent scowl on his lips is intimidating as he holds your gaze with fierce intent. "you're gonna be real fuckin' honest with me, now. okay?" 

you swallow dryly, staring up at his face, how he's boxed you in with arms on either side of your head. you feel cornered, small; prey, hunted by predator. 

you nod smally, startled into silence, unable to speak as the ache between your legs becomes unbearable. your legs clench, searching for relief only to be disappointed at the dull sensation. 

he stares at you for a few moments, unmoving except for the flaring of his nostrils and the rising of his chest as he breathes just as heavy as you. 

"are you wet?" 

your face flushes with heat. christ, Joel is going to kill you. (if you don't kill him first). your legs feel weak, desire driving your heart rate up as you nod meekly, voice cracking out. "y-yes." 

he nods, seemingly pleased with your honesty. 

"how long have you been walkin' round with ruined panties?" his head tilts down slightly, angled down at you as if chastising you. you flush in shame, genuinely taking a moment to remember the exact moment you first noticed your underwear dampen. 

you can't admit to him that you woke up this morning with his name on your lips and a wet patch on the seat of your sleep shorts, can you? (and certainly not that it happens every day.) 

"s-since-" you take a sharp inhale, glaring at him for humiliating you like this - outside, no less. anybody could walk past or look out their window and see Joel and you like this. "dinner." 

his brows raise, the look darkening on his face. you can tell, he loves the beginning - the teasing, the arguing, the embarrassment - just as much as the end. "dinner? s'like, two hours." his frown immodest, tempting. judging. 

you nod, biting back a snide comment about Joel being an excellent time-teller, your face burning in embarrassment as you break eye contact, staring at your feet. 

"d’you like being a slut?" he asks, then. you nearly whimper at his words, the aching in your cunt burning, pulsing and clenching around nothing as you stare at him in desire. fuck Joel Miller. 

"'m not a slut." you say, but the defiant words come out more as a whine than a sharp argument. one hand falls from the wall on your left to grip onto your jaw, holding your cheeks hard as he forces your eyes back up to him. 

his nails dig into the soft flesh of your cheeks as you gasp, your own hands in fists as you resist pulling him into you. 

"that's not what I fuckin' asked, now, is it?" he sneers. you blink up at him, shaking your head after a moment of contemplation. "no, sir." you whisper meekly. you don't miss the tightening of his grip at the honorific as it falls sultry from your lips. he hums. 

"do you want me to touch you?" he asks next. you can't even have the decency to stop your whine as you nod, "yes, please." 

his other hand falls from the wall, eyes just as angry and unforgiving as he undoes the button on your shorts single-handedly. "good. don't you fuckin' look away from my eyes, y'hear me? hands down, eyes up." 

this is twice now that he hasn't let you touch him - your brows furrow, but just as he snaps in front of your face, you let the thought melt away. 

"y-yes, sir." you nod, your palms sweaty, heart thundering as he shoves his hand down the front of your shorts, breaching your underwear easily as fingers slide through the deft curls that lie just above your heat. 

"gotta warm y'up for me this time," he mutters, eyes sharp as he watches yours, ensuring they don't do as much as blink. 

it's delicious, almost too much as two of his thick fingers part the seam of your lips, your wetness spilling and coating his fingers immediately. you burn in shame, thighs starting to close over his hand. 

one ruddy, thick thigh slides to kick your leg to the side, widening your stance as he shoves you harder up against the side of the house. the tip of his finger prods at your aching hole, leaking with desperation for him. 

there are crickets outside, a steady but low staccato of music filling the summer Jackson air as one finger slowly slides into you, curling unforgivingly as you gasp, rising on your toes as he stretches you. "fuck," you whimper, throwing your head back against the wall behind you. 

the thud is dull, but it echoes around the street and it calls your attention to the very public space you're in. 

"hey." Joel snaps, one hand swatting your cheek lightly as your eyes close, "don't look away." 

you blink back at him as he pumps lazily for a few moments, watching your every micro-expression, the way your chest stutters with his motions. the noise of your arousal is humiliating against the pleasant summer breeze. 

you can't help the low moan of his name when he adds a second finger. the stretch is nothing like when it's his cock inside of you, but the strokes, the curl of his fingers start to coax a simmering coil in you that you know will explode soon. 

your eyes are still on his obediently when you nearly whisper it. 

he hears it, though, and smirks, "what was that, darlin’?" 

you groan in irritation but it splinters into a sharp moan when his fingers pick up their pace, fucking into you as you lie slack against the wall, legs trembling. 

"just- fuck me. fuck me now." you wheeze, the desire a burning snake that coils around your chest and squeezes at your heart. 

"no." he decides, eyes glaring, "can't have y'whining like a bitch again, darlin'. gotta open you up on my fingers first." the sting of his words are cushioned by the lust that swirls around his voice, the languid was his thick fingers pump up into you, holding you up against the frame of the house with a dark smirk. 

you nod, hissing in stimulation when one finger slides to start rubbing your neglected clit with just enough pressure to curl your toes; your chest is slick with sweat, fingernails digging painfully into the meat of your palm as you hum, lips sealed tight to avoid yelping out. 

your eyes flicker from his once more, scanning the street just feet away from you, paranoid of the possibility of a neighbor seeing you. 

Joel notices, of course. "what, baby, don' want the neighbors to see?" he hums, eyes cutting into you as your face flushes with heat, "y'seemed to want everybody to hear me fucking you stupid last time, didn't 'ya?" 

you groan, "fuck you, Joel." 

his hand stops its ministrations just as cold ice pours down your spine. oh, shit. 

his hand slides out of your pants, face furious. 

you shake your head, eyes welling with tears; you hadn't meant for it to slip out like that. "n-no, wait, 'm sorry, didn't mean it." you whimper, voice choked with the loss of his hand. 

he just huffs a cold chuckle, wiping his hand over his face, the other one glistening with your juices under the light of the porch. 

your panicked, desperate babble of apologies is stopped with one look from him. 

"get on your goddamn knees now." 

you shiver with excitement, tears drying slightly as you swallow, complying quickly. the cement is rough and cold under your bare knees, your hands held still together on your thighs as you stare up at him in wait. he stands tall before you; the shroud of the flickering porch light emboldening him, making him look like a god - an unforgiving one, at that - as he pulls his thick, pulsing cock from his jeans. 

your mouth waters as he starts to pump it languidly, the tip a red color from arousal, leaking precum. 

he doesn’t have to ask you to open your mouth for him, your own desire to taste him spurring you to stick your tongue out flat in wait for his dick. 

"I'm going to ask you again." he says, tapping your tongue with the weight of his length, the slapping noise flooding your underwear as you ache to feel him again. "do you like being a slut?" 

you swallow, tongue sliding along the bottom of his head as you do, muttering a slight, "yes, sir." 

"'s right. you love being my slut." he nods, your mouth open and ready for him as he thrusts his whole length into your wet, warm mouth; you gag almost immediately, his hips unforgiving as he immediately starts to fuck into your throat. you try your best to breathe through your nose, gagging as his tip pokes the back of your throat - you know there'll be a bruise that will make it painful to eat, drink, speak - you fucking love it. 

he lets out a grunt of arousal, nodding as his hands gather your hair from your face, gripping your cheeks and pushing your head back against the side of the house. 

two thrusts, a few tears from your eyes as you choke, your lungs burning for air. 

he pulls away, you suck in air with a strangled gasp. your saliva links you to his heavy cock, a chain that holds you in his grasp. "tell me you love being my slut." 

you burn at his words and in your brief hesitation, his cock is slapping at your mouth, his impatience bleeding through his actions. 

"I-" your voice is wrecked after only a few seconds of him in your mouth, but you swallow as you gasp for air, "I l-love being your slut." 

he slides himself through your slick lips again, hips a punishing pace as he fills up your mouth, your throat tight and wet. his groan echoes through the street; in the corner of your eye, you swear you see a light turn on in a bedroom window. shivers of desire run through you as you resist the urge to touch yourself. 

you can't breathe; your nose brushes against the course hair at the base of his shaft, the scent of him surrounding you as his hips try to smash you against the side of the house. 

he holds you there, hands rough on your cheeks, slapping your right cheek as it bulges with his length. you choke, gagging as you try your hardest to keep eye contact. his face is harsh, his sneer cold as he stares at you, "'s right, choke on your fuckin' words, darlin'." his hips press forward slightly and you cough around him, it's too much - tears slide down your cheeks as you try not to gag more. 

"you gonna disrespect me again?" he asks, tilting his head as spit trails down your chin, tears meeting the trail of saliva as it drips down onto your chest. 

you can only hum a nuh-uh around his cock, hoping it's enough to satisfy him. you feel yourself throb and fucking burn with need, your knees sore from the cement under you. 

you cough and sputter when he pulls himself away from you, mouth sore, jaw aching and throat wrecked. his eyes flicker over to the house across the street before he grips your shoulder, tugging you in your aroused, dazed state up to your legs. 

"oh, darlin', you're bleedin'." he coos at you, thumb swiping your cheek as you stand up. he's right: your knees are just scratched enough to speckle the skin with dark splotches of blood. you feel a tingling sensation of arousal as he hums, "let's get you inside, hm?" 

you stumble to keep up as he storms through the threshold of the house, the door swinging shut after your shaking frame falls inside. it's dark; there is only one lamp turned on in the other room. 

Joel is almost a shadow as he surrounds you, your hands falling onto his large, stiff shoulders as he pushes you against the door frame. 

your legs give out from desire soon and the two of you tumble to the ground, a mess of grunts and shoves, tearing at clothes as you whimper in desire, his own lustful groans echoing the empty house. as his pants are shucked off and your shorts are thrown across the room, your hips are shoved and flipped over until you're ass-up for him, one of his large hands moving roughly to grab a handful of your plush behind. 

your hands and knees ache, but you wiggle your ass slightly in need, not daring to speak to him. the anger that radiates from the two of you is a grenade; you can feel the tension bubbling behind your desire and so you just move back until you brush against his hard length, the fabric of your panties completely soaked as you grind against him. 

his moan echoes as a hand falls hard to slap against the skin of your ass. you let out a strangled yell, the pain stinging through you as you keen forward. you know there will be a handprint branded into you, you know it'll be sore to sit and you'll have to think of him each time. he'll consume you for days. 

you love it. 

his fingers tease the wet material that's glued to your pussy with desire, tracing over your lips lightly over the fabric. "pretty cunt, just for me." he mutters; you shake with desire when you realize it was more a mutter for him than an intentional phrase for you to hear.

"think you're ready for me, baby?" he grunts, his fingers pulling your underwear to the side, exposing your puffy, glistening cunt to him. 

"I'm so re-ready sir, please, fuck me." you beg, reduced yet again to nothing but a writhing mess for the worst man you know. 

he gives no warning, no teasing - he breaches you swiftly and rough. you scream. 

it cracks, it echoes, it's painful as you yell out, his cock heavy and huge and aching as he slides into you, sheathing you fully within a few seconds. Joel's moan reverberates on your skin as his hands grip so hard at your ass you think his fingers will remain there for days. 

he immediately sets a pace that has you squirming under him, breath choking up in your chest as you slide against the hardwood. the smell of the house is Joel - sandalwood, whiskey, pine. sex. 

your arms are tugged roughly. 

panic rises in you when you think you're about to slam your face against the floor, but as Joel pounds hard into you, he pulls your hands tight to your back, holding you up to you're suspended with just his cock working you open can keep you from falling. 

it's bliss. it's sharp, this angle; he hits into that spongy spot inside you as his cock drags against your pulsing walls, your hands clenching as your breath leaves you. 

one hand sneaks over your front, grasping at your tits as he reaches up into you deeply. then it snakes lower, rocking you forward as he swats at your clit, the sharp smack of his palm causing you to squeeeeeze around him, trapping him in your aching desire. he lets out a grunt, "fuckin'- jesus christ, girl, you're s-so tight."

the noises of your arousal swallowing his dick echo around the room in a sickening chorus. 

"dumb girl, lovin' it when I yell at her," he mutters to himself, chasing your high as he feels it spasming close around him. "gonna be o-obedient and thank me for each orgasm, 'kay?" his accent is thick in the throes of passion, you notice. 

you nod, unable to speak, unable to think as you feel the crest of something incredibly blissful; you let out a wheeze of ecstasy. "y-yes, s-sir," you choke, your voice croaking from the remnants of his dick wrecking you. 

you barely realize you're cumming until you’re screaming, a white-hot, searing arousal streaking your vision. tears are resurfacing on your eyes as he hums, "say it." 

you swallow, shakily squirming as he pounds into you, unforgiving in tone and pace. "than-thank you." 

it only takes a few more minutes and his thick hand squeezing your throat before you cum for a second time, your hands pulling at his hips, trying to escape the overstimulation of his long, dragging thrusts. the floor is slick with your juices, and so is his pubic bone. 

"thank you, s-sir." you slur out, his hand holding you by the throat against his chest, his heartbeat slamming just as fast as yours. 

soon he drops your arms, their shaky muscles barely stopping you as you fall to the floor. his chest follows you until he's smothering you, thrusts becoming weak with his own nearing orgasm. you cry, the overstimulation causing you to shake. "'s too much, too much." 

he hums, "you want me to stop?" 

"no!" you scream it, wail it; no, christ, don't stop. never stop. 

he chuckles; a dark, brooding noise. "an' you wonder why I think you're such a bad influence." he mutters into the shell of your ear as he pushes further, deeper into you; "lettin' an old man fuck you into the floor. lovin' it." 

he chuckles as you let out a whine, eyes screwing shut at the bursts of pleasure coursing through you. your knees ache.

"'s dirty, isn't it? and you love it, pretty girl." 

you let your cheek drop onto the hardwood at his ministrations, spent from your previous orgasms; the pet name makes you flush, arching your hips back. he's so deep, you feel him in your throat. each thrust pushes his tip into your cervix, a dull ache with a swirl of pleasure and ecstasy. you let out a groan, "love it, love it s'much. love it, sir, thank you." you whimper, your brain empty except for Joel Joel JoelJoel-

"good m-manners, sweet girl." he hums, pressing a hot kiss to your spine. goosebumps form in his wake, his words echoing in your brain. sweet girl. 

"you're gonna cum one more time." he orders, the thrusts of his hips grinding you down, melting you, tearing you. you nod, "yes, yes-yes, fuck, gonna-gonna cum again." you whimper, the painful overstimulation of his cock drilling through your spent, swollen folds. 

your third orgasm has you wailing, shaking your head as you convulse in pleasure, his strong grip holding your hips down as he hits your spot repeatedly, the noise of him fucking into you echoing through the foyer. 

there's tears on the floor as you shake, colors exploding behind your eyes as he whispers things you cannot hear into your ear. 

when you come to, he's still ravaging your body. 

you're limp, ecstasy flowing through your very being as his cock spears through you, hands smacking you, gripping you, grunts leaving his mouth as he nears his own orgasm, having pulled three from you. 

"where are your manners?" he whispers into your ear. you let out a broken half-laugh, half-gasp. "fuck- thank you, Joel, thank you." 

he hums in satisfaction and you swear you feel his cock twitch inside you as you utter his first name. 

he's back in your ear in seconds, surrounding you, swallowing you whole. you love it. 

"this is my pussy. mine." he grunts, "never think 'bout any other pussy. jus' this one. always." his voice is laced with desperation as he swats your ass, thrusting into you a few more times as you squirm, sobbing, throat raw. 

yours, you whimper in a chorus, body limp as he uses you; his thrusts are sloppy. he's so close- 

and he cums just as he's pulling out of you; you gasp at the loss but also as his cum shoots hot spurts across the plush curve of your ass, a bit onto your spine - most of it over your ruined pussy, streaking you in white. 

you pulse around nothing, shaking as your legs give out. he groans a deep thing, fingers falling to spread you open, the lewd noise soft and slick.

you jolt and he shushes you with a soft caress of your back. "jus' wanna see it, baby. wanna see how I ruined you." 

you swallow dryly at that, nodding as you tilt your hips, eager to feel his eyes over you, over all of you; eager for him. 

a finger smears his spend over your juices, pressing lightly at your puckered hole, pushing some of his cum back into you. "fuckin' christ, girl." 

you set out a laugh that turns into a cough of pain at the ragged state of your throat. 

he stands and leaves you on the cold floor, covered in sweat. you try not to let your heart deflate when he’s gone. 

but he returns with a rag and hands it to you before shucking his jeans on; you pull your underwear back on with shaky hands once you’ve wiped yourself clean, your body exhausted. 

you sigh. even the thought of making the trek just a few houses down to your own place is daunting as your eyes flutter. something in his eyes glint in understanding when your gazes meet each other, and he seems to get it. 

so if Joel gathers you in his arms with a grunt and a short complaint, you don't think too much about it. 

(you hate him. he hates you.)

and if he holds your head to his chest as he starts the walk back to your house, it’s not a big deal to you. 

when brings you up into your bedroom instead of leaving you at your front door as he finally carries you to your house, you chalk it up to you being nearly asleep. you must be delirious when he tucks you into your mattress and pulls your blankets up. you swear he mutters something about dinner and nice and good job. 

(what a cocky asshole.) 

it's probably a dream, when a hand caresses the sweaty skin of your forehead, brushing hair away gently before footsteps disappear through the doorway. 

. part three .

requests open

. 

#joel miller smut #joel x reader smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x reader smut #Joel Miller #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal smut #the last of us smut #the last of us x reader #the last of us #tlou spoilers #tlou fanfiction #the last of us (hbo) #the last of us (tv)

[tim-shii]

tiktok trends with bf!sae

a/n: my man MY MAN RRAAAAHHHH i need him in my life it is crazy INSANE that hes not real and hes not in my arms rn (p.s sae is taller in this ,, it doesnt specify how tall but just tall enough that he has to lean down for a kiss ty)

it’s a rare occasion that your boyfriend agrees to go along with your antics. a prank, a trend or just him being in the frame. however, sae can’t seem to ever say no when you ask him nicely to do a tiktok with you. he has one condition though: he will never ever do a dance.

" THINK I LIKE YOU BEST WHEN YOU'RE JUST WITH ME "

the green in his eye looks so pretty. it goes perfectly well with the brightness in yours. sae looks straight in the camera as you instructed. yet there’s an itch in his system telling him to look in your direction instead. his pupils are dilating, he knows. and he knows that you notice it too, the growing blush on your face an indication of you acknowledging his obvious adoration. a few seconds before the audio ends, sae turns his head slightly to kiss your cheek. resulting to you dropping the phone. failed ending, yes, your followers found it cute though.

" STAY WITH ME, I DON'T WANT YOU TO LEAVE "

now, this. sae agrees to do this trend with you the moment you showed him the video. why would he refuse? he gets you kissing all over his face. that’s practically heaven to him. the marks are just freebies. after leaving a decent amount of lipstick stains on his face (sae thinks you should’ve left more), you pushed him out of frame and hit the record button. he waits until you purposely smudge the rouge past your lips, his thumb smoothly wiping it away. his periphery catches you sliding the phone to show him in the frame. his eyes are locked on your tinted lips before going back up to lock gazes with you. his hand slips to the back of your neck, pulling you closer yet pushing you back simultaneously away from the frame, and his lips meet yours. your lips transferring color to his already rosy ones.

" YOU BETTER LOCK YOUR PHONE "

from what he saw, you either stand there looking pretty or twirl around. either way, all he has to do is walk over, hook an arm around your waist and walk away (in a cool manner). it’s going well a few seconds in. you stand in front of your phone, showing your outfit. he starts sauntering the first time you turn your head to him. the second time you do it, he’s left stunned when you swiftly ran to the other direction. he follows after you, his longer limbs allowing him to catch up to you within seconds. sae throws you over his shoulder and carries you back to where you left your phone, that was still recording. the video ends with him dropping you to your feet and pinching your cheek.

" I'D NEVER FIND SOMEONE LIKE YOU "

this trend is somewhat similar to the other one. it starts with him off the frame and ends together with you. he can only hope you don’t rush out this time. if sae was being honest, the song used is definitely one of his favorites. not his go-to genre to listen to, yes, but he truly does believe you’re out of his league sometimes. he bumps into you at the beat, wide shoulders colliding with yours. he makes sure there’s no aggression behind it, sae doesn’t want you hurt over a video. when you turn back, he’s blessed with a smiling face. your arms wrap around his waist, chin on his chest. sae finds it easier to lean down and capture your lips this way. there’s a warm hand holding the back of your head and the other found its home on your hip. when he pulls away, his eyes drift past you and he’s reminded of the device diarizing this very moment.

likes and reblogs are appreciated! masterlist

#tim writes. #blue lock #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #bllk #bllk imagines #blue lock imagines #blue lock fluff #bllk fluff #sae itoshi x reader #sae x reader #sae itoshi #sae imagines #sae angst #itoshi sae #itoshi sae x you #itoshi sae imagines #itoshi sae x reader #sae itoshi fluff #itoshi sae blue lock #bllk sae #blue lock sae itoshi #blue lock sae

[suchawrathfullamb]

Hannibal Lecter as The Devil

Our fandom usually ignores key elements that were said about the characters, especially the ones that state very clearly that the show is not the same as the books or movies. And the one thing that usually gets mixed up the most is, of course, Hannibal's past and even his very essence.

Our Hannibal is the devil. Apparently literally so. He is not the way he is because of his past trauma. He even says so in the show but most people dismiss it as him being avoidant. No. Literally. Nothing happened to him, he happened.

This is why some fans get so confused about the character's actions and motives, because they are ignoring this very important aspect: he is the devil, he is not some traumatized guy. Don't fight me on it, I'm just communicating what the creator and Mads himself have said. But when you take this into consideration it actually makes everything more interesting, fascinating and makes a lot more sense, too.

The devil despised humanity, or, thought he was superior. This is Hannibal. He sees himself as above everyone else, and in the show, he actually is, as this isn't a neurosis or complex, but who he is. Human emotions are weaknesses because they make you suffer, prone to error and vulnerable. This is why he goes insane when he falls in love with Will. He literally ate his sister simply because he loved her and loving her made him tender, therefore he "denied" his nature for her. He ate her in order to forgive her for committing this "crime". Didn't kill her, but had to consume her in order to put himself above his love for her.

When he falls for Will, he experiences a loss of control he never experienced before, as passion does, and he is the control king so naturally this makes him desperate and absolutely insane. This is why he does everything he does to Will, because he is trying to prove to himself that love isn't stronger than He is, that he is capable of following his nature and urges beyond his feelings for Will.

This is why that scene where he is crying after Will was put in prison, is so important, sooo important and most of us don't pay enough attention. Abigail wasn't dead, we thought he was crying for her, later we find out that she was safe and alive. Mads even confirmed but didn't have to because it becomes obvious then that he was crying for Will. But the dialogue is what makes the scene so important.

They're talking about having "kids":

He was disappointed when Will didn't immediately accept him once he found out the truth. He felt so betrayed and he felt like he failed guiding Will properly to accept himself and Hannibal. Framing Will was heartbreaking for him but he had to make himself do it to prove he was still in control. That he wouldn't let his feelings put him in a vulnerable position and risk his life and freedom (which he ultimately does in the end).

When he finally admits or realizes he is in love, that's when he does the unspeakable and tries to eat Will. Bryan confirmed he wasn't actually going to go through with it, but in the heat of emotion after feeling betrayed by Will yet again, he just reaches a new level of insanity.

Soon, he realizes what he's done and the rarity of him feeling regret happens (hence the time reversing attempt). This is why he surrenders. He wasn't being "petty", he was trying to show Will he truly loved him, also because that man cannot believe for the life of him that Hannibal, the devil himself, is capable of love. Which is ALSO why the jokes about him having to ask aren't actually congruent with canon. No one would realistically believe someone like Hannibal would be capable of love. No, he didn't know before asking Bedelia, Hugh already confirmed but if you pay attention to the show this should not have been the interpretation. Will literally fucks everything up BECAUSE he refuses to believe H loves him. Yes, the dream, etc etc, I already made a post explaining that scene, too. It's in the meta tags and called Will Graham and the Denial of Love, anyway, this is such a beautiful tale of the devil falling for a human, only to discover he actually fell in love with another fallen angel, and the act itself made him more human.

#hannibal meta #i love the religious elements in the show #very pretty and gothic #hannigram #nbc hannibal #hannibal #will graham #hugh dancy #murder husbands #hannibal lecter #mads mikkelsen

[inumkii]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ how you got together - inumaki x reader

bullet pointed scenario

genre: fluff, f2l

wc: 1.2 ish

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ an: hii this is my first jjk fic!! this might be the only thing i ever post LOLL currently ignoring my massive hiatus on my kpop blog T_T anywayss i wrote this super quickly its prob not the best ;p

i feel like toge would be the type of person to have you make a lot of the first moves

like when you guys were just stupidly pining friends, he made it pretty obvious that he liked you but wanted you to actually confess verbally 

it was mostly because he didn't want such a big milestone of starting your relationship to be texted or written by him but maybe like 20% of it was because he likes to be annoying

he's a little shit so if your the type of person to wait on the other person to make a move, good luck! because he’s making you do it

like there was a point were he was certain about both of ur feelings being mutual so he’d just play it up by being really touchy, making it obvious that he wanted to be right next to you, always clinging to you, etc.. you know,, making it obvious that he really does like you

but poor you because you were spending your time overthinking eveything. maybe he was just really touchyyy!! maybe he's extra comfortable around you!!! (i wonder why.)

it was actually driving your friends insane tho

maki’s last straw was during a training session out on the field, her and panda were sparring as you and inumaki watched on the steps

inumaki, as usual, was glued to your side, hands toying with the fabric of your long sleeve uniform

as maki landed her last hit on panda, you got up with their water bottles and ran them over to your two friends 

toge followed closely behind, still attached to your sleeve

you were balancing both of the bottles in one arm since the other was being occupied as toges leash of some sort, but you approached the other two like nothing was out of place

this sight wasn't anything new to panda or maki so they kept their scoffs and eye rolls internal. it was mostly just driving them crazy that neither one of you had made a move. it was obvious you both liked each other so why aren’t you guys doing anything about it??

“nice one, maki!” you cheered as the two grabbed their respective waters, toge let out an ingredient of affirmation as well

“ah, that was nothing” she proudly boasted, part of it directed as being a playful jab toward panda. she glanced down at inumakis hand attached to the end of your sleeve as he seemingly refused to be more than a few inches apart from you

“anyways,, im planning on grabbing lunch after this, yn, you coming with?” maki turned towards you

“sure!! i didnt have any plans,” you mused and you and maki set off and away from the field, toge still trailing behind as if following you was the obvious route to go

“just me and yn today, inumaki. sorry man,, go do something with panda” maki had no problem brushing off your friend, she was trying to get you alone which was something that seemed more rare as days go by (cough cough toge let maki have some time with her friend)

he laughed and backed away in compliance before giving your shoulder a quick squeeze as the four of you split off

once he was out of earshot, maki finally groaned

“you need to make a move already, its so frustrating watching you two cling to each other without doing anything about it” she complained as you felt your face heat up

you were well aware of toge’s touchiness and couldn't ignore his potential intentions behind it,, but yet there was this looming fear of actually enacting a confession that stopped you from going further 

“do you think he really likes me?” you asked pathetically. anyone’s answer would’ve been a loud yes,, but you still felt like you had to ask maki for some semblance of confidence 

she stared at you, an incredulous look breaching her face

“i cant believe you're asking me that question” she scoffed out a laugh, “but since you need to hear it. yes, toge inumaki is one hundred percent in love with you”

she left it at that, causing a permanent fluster to torment you for the rest of lunch

your lunch with maki had left you a little more confident about where you stood with toge, however. she had begged you to do something about it soon, claiming she couldn’t bear to witness any more pining

you had to do something about it soon or else you’d continue to sleep on her advice, overthink it, and never do anything about your problem,,,, it was now or never

you shot a text over to toge and waited on a nearby bench on school grounds

a few minutes passed with you spending them painstakingly fumbling with your phone case, picking off the stickers that were already on their last leg

there were so many times within those short seven minutes where you debated sending a ‘never mind! something came up’ to him

he finally showed up fairly quickly, joining the spot next to you on the bench

immediately discerning your nervous state, he placed a hand over yours

his action didn't do much for your nerves but it gave a little more hope that your confession would have a good outcome

(you were painfully unaware that no matter what you did, you had a 100% success rate)

he voiced his concern, squeezing your hand as you turned to face him

it felt like your heart was about to explode out of your chest but you had to rip the bandaid off

meeting his concern gaze, you finally said it

“i like you”

okay

maybe not the smoothest confession,, but given your anxiety over the situation, it was a miracle it was even said

all toge did in response was reach up to cup your cheek and smile 

his single expression gave you the answer you so desperately needed

pouring all his love and admiration into one expression, you hadn’t realized this was always how he had been looking at you

wordless communication though gazes and lingering touches had always been the way he was allowed to express himself

you had been overlooking it for too long, too caught up in your own mind to see the way he gazed at you like you were the only thing he ever needed to focus on, worthy of his attention at any moment you needed it

your heart melted on sight as you leaned into to press a kiss on his lips 

it was sweet, brief but not hasty. toge had always been good at placing his emotions into his actions and he made sure you felt everything he was feeling

the two of you parted before you leaned back in to place two more kisses, one on each side of his mouth where his seals were placed

he leaned in to your touch, pulling you in for a hug. as he buried his face in your neck, he breathed out a sigh that wordlessly expressed ‘you have no idea how long i’ve been waiting for this’ and you laughed into his hair

it might've been way overdue, but he’s here now in your arms, this time without the weight of wondering if your feelings were truly requited

oh an maki just got a text from panda of a blurry, zoomed in image of the two of you on the bench together from the distance

“fucking finally” -maki

#inumaki x reader #toge x reader #inumaki toge #inumaki fluff #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jujustsu kaisen x reader #inumaki x you #jjk scenarios #jjk imagines #toge x you

[tracksidequeen]

Thrist Tweets

Request: Hi, could you write a drabble in where the reader reads thirsty tweets with Toto?

Warning: Boss!TotoxAssistant!Reader, some vulgar language, daddy?

Words: 900k+

*****

"Have you thought about it?"

With a mischievous smile on your face you walk in Toto's office and sit down on the sofa.

“Thought about what?” he asks confused. He takes off his reading glasses and folds them gently.

"The suggestion Paul gave you, about reading thirst tweets for the social media account. The fans would love it..."

"-I swear, this is why Paul gives me a headache on the daily," he interrupts you shaking his head and gets up. He walks over to sit down next to you, as you eye at him with a cheeky look on your face. "What?!"

"...I would love it.” You say with a sarcastic, whiney voice.

He laughs, and then his face goes blank. "No."

"Toto, c'mon, it's fun!" You give his shoulder a slight shove. 

"No," he repeats, but the excited look on your face makes him hesitate. "What are they even saying on there anyways?"

"OH, they are allll over you!" you say as you instantly grab your phone and open the comment section under a picture of him on the Mercedes twitter account. 

"Mind you; admin is probably busy muting half of the comments under your photo's... for obvious reasons."

"What? Muting- when? Why?" He looks at you confused, understanding half of what you just said.

"When admin posts something of you, the fans have - let's say - and interesting form of showing their love for you." You give him a cheeky side-eye.

"You are enjoying this too much for my liking," he says and you show him the comments. He takes his folded reading glasses from his shirt and puts them on. Instantly he raises his eyebrows. 

"You'd be reading this out loud and responding to it in the video." He looks at the comments on your screen and shakes his head with blushing cheeks.

"Don't be shy, read it out," you say teasingly.

"No, this is insane." His words say he doesn't want it, yet he can't take his eyes off your phone and continues reading. You hear him mumble under his breath- "Toto can eat a pumpernickle off my body any time of the day." He looks back at you.

"Why would anyone want to do that?” 

He says it in a confused manner, but you hear in his voice how it stroked his ego. “Crazy, crazy." Without waiting for your reply he diverts his attention back to the phone. He leans over and starts scrolling your phone.

"I'd let Mr Wolff break my back like a glow-stick." His loud laugh fills the office. “Well that’s a bit aggressive, don’t you think?”

"I mean, we're all thinking it, they just wrote it."

Without saying a word he looks at you and you feel your cheeks getting warm. You continue scrolling through the comments under another photo of him so the topic can switch. But he doesn’t let you off the hook that easily.

"So you're thinking it as well?"

With a lost look on your face you say, "huh, what are you talking about?" He raises his eyebrows in response, and smirks before looking at your phone again.

"Toto can use my ass as his table to slam on, and I'd still say 'thank you daddy.'" He says laughing, "they are really getting creative with ways to flatter me.” 

He looks at you, and without taking his eyes off you he says, “Secretly one of these is from you."

"Well, don't flatter yourself too much, Toto."

"You'll start calling me dad soon as well." You look at him confused, "why?" He nods his head at your screen, "they called me 'dad' at the end right?"

You feel your heart drop from the nervousness. Never in a million years would you have thought that you’d sit with your boss on his office sofa, discussing the terminology of the word...

"Daddy? You mean?"

"Yes, you'll start calling-" "Toto, nooo! That's not what they mean!" You say with part panic part hysterical laughter.

A questioning look emerges on his face as you can't stop laughing. "Well explain it then," he says. "Stop giggling so annoying."

He can't stand it when he doesn't understand something, and it's even worse when he's the center of the joke. "C'mon! Stop it, what?"

"Toto, they mean 'daddy', not as dad, but..." you say holding in your breath, but then you realise you're talking to your boss and suddenly your eyes fill with embarrassment. It's great how comfortable you feel around him, but there are some limits, you figure. "Toto, no, you're smart enough to figure this one out on your own."

"Would you call me daddy?"

"WHAT?" You say with widened eyes.

"I'm trying to figure out in which context you'd use- oooh." His face turns red. "I see."

"You're a joke Toto, absolutely ridiculous." You joke, to make him feel less uncomfortable for what he just said. But your efforts in making him less embarrassed was not necessary, because he rises above every situation.

"So, would you?" he asks with a smirk.

"Would I- what?"

"You can figure this one out on you own."

*****

#Toto Wolff #toto wolff drabble #toto wolff fic #toto wolff x reader #Toto Wolff x you #Formula 1 #formula 1 x reader #toto wolff imagine #thirst tweets

[builtbybrokenbells]

have you ever thought of Jake pretending to be a big tough guy? one that’s immune to the cuteness of animals? baby animals, even? or Jake that’s so certain he’s a dog person, that cats just aren’t his thing, but absolutely melting at the sight of a stray kitten you brought home? yeah, it’s probably a good thing. anyway, here’s that thought:

“Jake?” You called out as you gently kicked the door shut behind you. The sound echoed off the walls, bouncing down the hallway and landing somewhere amidst the empty living room. You weren’t sure if he was home, or if he was, what he was even doing. That was a minimal worry compared to the one you had for the kitten in your hands, bundled in a towel you had found in your backseat. “Jake!” You called a little louder, but not enough to scare the already nervous animal seeking comfort in your arms.

You carefully made your way down the hall, cautious not to move too suddenly. When you broke into the kitchen, the lights were off and the house seemed even more silent than before. Feeling a shred of defeat, you flicked the light switch on, realizing you would likely have to navigate this on your own. “It’s not so scary, is it?” You asked, looking down at the towel. From your position, you could only see the tip of an ear poking from the hole you had made for the kittens head. “We’re gonna get you all cleaned up.” You couldn’t help but feel a little anxiety at the thought of Jake’s reaction. In your time of knowing him, it had always been quite apparent that he was a dog person. Although the never spoke blatant distaste for cats, he also hadn’t ever given an idea that he was fond of them. Plus, since moving in together, neither of you had offered an idea as large as a pet, and you weren’t sure if he would be interested in such a big commitment yet.

“Who are you talking to?” A grumble from the doorway made you jump. You looked up, eyes wide in shock at the intrusion. Jake stood, eyes heavy and clad in only sweatpants.

“Did I wake you up?” You asked, regret apparent in your question. He waved you off, shaking his head, even though it was quite obvious.

“Just dozed off…” he trailed off, stare landing on your hands. “Uh, what’s that?” He raised an eyebrow, looking up to you.

“This? Oh, just an old towel that was in my car.” You gave a nervous laugh, not really certain why you were lying about it. He was bound to find out eventually.

“Talking to a towel? That’s new for you.” He noted, not believing a word you said.

“I wasn’t talking to the towel.” You defended, narrowing your gaze at him showing your distaste for his smart comment. “I was talking to myself.” As the words left your mouth, you understood that your answer had not made you seem any less insane. He watched you, eyes flickering between your face and your arms. Before you could think of anything else to say, a small meow broke through the silence. You two had a bit of a staring content, neither sure of what to say, nor what to do.

“Y/n,” he said, a hint of warning in his tone. “Is that a cat?” Your defensive nature turned into one of defeat.

“Yes, but before you get upset, he was tiny and alone on the side of the road. How could I just leave him there?”

“We can bring him to a shelter,” he offered, almost unwilling to discuss the topic. As hurt as you seemed, he just wasn’t sure if a cat was his first, or favourite idea for expanding the family. “That way he’s safe, but he doesn’t have to stay here.”

“Jake, just look at him!” You exclaimed, maneuvering the towel to show off the small animal.

“Nope, don’t want to.” He shook his head, casting his glance to the floor.

“Please,” you begged, now making it so the kittens head was fully in view, surrounded by the soft fabric. As nervous as it may have been, it was incredibly content just being held by you. “Look at his little face,” you cooed, gently scratching his head. Through the thickness of the towel, you felt a little purr, which only melted your heart even more. You took a step closer to him, making it harder for him to ignore you. Eventually, once you were in front of him, he couldn’t resist looking at you any longer. “He’s just so hungry, and little…” Only slightly, his head turned towards you. The stony expression he had adorned previously seemed to crack, softness taking over his eyes. His gaze flickered from the kitten, then up to you. After a moment, he gave in.

“Fine, we can feed him and clean him up, then we’ll take him to the shelter.” He sighed. You fought back a smile, knowing that it would only be a matter of time before he changed his mind completely. “We don’t have cat food.”

“I think there’s leftover chicken in the fridge from last night. Or there’s a probably a can of tuna or something in the cupboard.” You theorized. He looked like he was fighting the urge to pet the cat, so instead he nodded in agreement. He left your side, immediately following your verbal guidance. You took a seat at the table, making sure to hold the towel close to you while you did so. After a few moments, Jake took a seat beside you with the food you had previously mentioned. You carefully placed the towel on the table, straightening it out so the kitten could walk freely.

“You’re a little beggar, you know that? Come into my house and eat my food.” Jake grumbled, pulling out a small bit of the plain chicken breast. The cat perked up at the smell of it, immediately taking a step towards him. Instead of feeding it, he placed the food on the table. He repeated the action a few times, smiling more every time the kitten eagerly responded.

“He likes you.” You informed him, noticing the cat’s affiliation with his attention.

“He can like me all he wants, but he’s not staying.” He noticed the animals attention shift to the can sitting beside it, giving it a little sniff of curiosity. “You want to try that, instead? Chicken isn’t good enough for you?” Although his words were gruff, his tone was light. He opened the can, placing it in front of the kitten in a timely fashion. It immediately began eating away at the contents, just happy to have food. You both fell into a silence and you began to worry he really was annoyed with you. That was, until you heard a small mutter of words that made your heart swell with joy. “You like tuna? Is that your favourite?” The words were coated with affection, spoken in the same tone you would speak to a baby with. You couldn’t fight back the smile that broke onto your lips. Suddenly, Jake stood, going to the sink and flicking on the tap. He grabbed a shallow bowl, holding it under the stream for a moment. He returned to you, setting the bowl beside the can. You looked over to him, a smug grin stuck on your face. “What? He needs water, too.” He defended.

As the cat made itself at home, Jake slipped his arm around your shoulder. It was a silent show of affection, one that told you he wasn’t upset with you at all. When he placed a kiss to the side of your head, you were more than aware that this would be the newest member of the family. “He is kind of cute, isn’t he?”

“I think so.” You giggled, reaching out to give the animal a small pet. You both settled into your seats, content with watching the cat explore its surroundings. After a few moments of curious looks, it took a few steps towards you both. With caution, it approached Jakes hand that was resting on the table. Jake was still, watching it closely. Eventually, once it was familiar with him, it nudged his hand with its head. As if he was completely defeated, he let out a groan. Immediately after, he gave the cat a few pets. When the cat began to purr, his hard exterior melted away entirely.

He picked it up, the animal giving him no protest at all, and brought it to his chest. He held it to him, scratching behind its ear with a smile on his lips. “I think it would be okay if he stayed with us tonight.” He murmured, looking down at the ball of fluff in his hand. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Get you cleaned up and you can sleep in bed with us tonight?” As he spoke, the kitten let out a yawn, then it’s eyes slowly drifted shut. “You’re tired? You eat all of our food and then just go to bed? Such a hard life to live.” He cooed, but there was no hint annoyance in his voice at all. After a moment, the purring slowed to a stop, because the kitten had fallen asleep in his hand. Slowly, Jake turned to you. His eyes were glistening with love, completely wooed by cuteness of the animal.

“What do you want to name him?” You teased.

“Shut up.” He grumbled, but his attempt at sounding annoyed was futile. “Sparrow?” The word was barely spoken, so quiet that you almost missed it. You let out a laugh, nodding your head in agreement.

“Yeah, I think that’s perfect.” He gave you a grin, thrilled that you liked the idea. “I love you, Jake.”

“I love you.” He hummed as he leaned over and placed a kiss to your lips, quickly forgetting he ever contested the idea of keeping the kitten at all.

this post was made by a certified cat lover and Jake kiszka enthusiast. no, I will never recover from this. thanks for asking though

#gvf #greta van fleet #jake kiszka #sam kiszka #sam gvf #danny wagner #jake gvf #gvf fic #josh gvf #danny gvf #jake kiszka gvf #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka blurb #gvf imagine #gvf blurb #greta van fleet blurb #greta van fleet fanfic #greta van fleet fluff #gvf fluff #jake kiszka fluff #blurb #greta van fleet imagine #imagine #jake kiszka imagine #builtbybrokenbells

[kimbappykidding]

Imagine thinking Joshua is only nice to you because he’s a good person but your friends Vernon and Seungkwan trying to convince you it’s actually because he has a crush on you

Like most people, the first interaction you had with Seventeen was through their residential social butterfly Seungkwan. When he found out you were a similar age to him he decided you were going to be friends. When he learned you spoke English and had moved to Korea to become an idol he introduced you to Vernon without a second thought. It was a really nice move on Seungkwan's part and you quickly became friends with Vernon through the bonding of being born in another country. However, you weren't American but British, which the other members reacted very strongly to. They found your accent funny and told Vernon and Seungkwan to bring you around so they could make you say things in your accent. That's how you met Joshua.

He came downstairs one day to hear someone speaking English but in a very different way to him or Vernon. When he walked in he realised it was you and smiled hearing the English accent. He actually found the accent pretty hot but he didn't make that obvious. Instead he introduced himself to you and soon you had two friends who understood your situation. Joshua especially understood what it was like to leave your family and home far behind and he seemed to make it his mission to make you feel comfortable here. You soon learned Joshua was very caring and sweet, he never hesitated to help you and you began to be very fond of him. He’d even put a lot of effort into befriending your (now ex) boyfriend NCT's Mark, Joshua was that good a friend. You and Mark had been together for nearly three years when you broke up. You'd met as trainees and had a very sweet relationship. You were both so innocent and naive when you got together and you’d been each other's everything...for a while at least. When you both debuted things changed. Fame and popularity altered things and you'd noticed how you'd slowly been growing apart. You finally worked up the courage to break up with him and everything had been very amicable. When you broke up with Mark and told Seventeen you thought they were all extremely kind and sympathetic...but Vernon and Seungkwan had a different view. 

"Did you see Joshua's face?" Seungkwan asked when you all retired to his room. You shrugged "erm no but he told me that he was very sorry for me and that I could vent to him whenever I needed to". Vernon smirked "I bet he did". You sighed aware that Vernon and Seungkwan had a theory Joshua was into you. "Okay and what was your opinion on what happened then?" you asked. Seungkwan smiled "Joshua's eyes lit up and then he quickly realised you were upset and his concern for you took over but he was definitely pleased". "Definitely" Vernon agreed and you rolled your eyes "Joshua does not have a thing for me!". "Ow come on y/n you must notice how sweet and attentive he is to you?" Vernon asked "you only have to look around for something and he's asking what you need, or tonight when you couldn't reach your glass and without even hesitating he swoops in to save you". You blushed, getting flustered with the idea but still didn't believe it yet. "Joshua is just a really nice guy, he's literally known as the gentleman!" you cried. "Yes but he's not just nice to you because of simple politeness, with you it's different". "I'm not too sure" you shrugged and Seungkwan shook his head "why can’t you ever let yourself believe you're good enough? You're a great girl y/n, Joshua would be insanely lucky to have you" getting teary. He always got this way when he got wine drunk and you and Vernon shared a smile. 

"Thank you Seungkwan" you said taking his hand "it's not that I don't like myself it's just I struggle seeing what you guys do. I think Joshua is just nice to me because he knows what it's like to be from another country, the same way we became friends" you said to Vernon. Vernon nodded "sure that might've been it at first but I'm your friend now because of so much more than that and it's the same for Joshua. You're now fluent in Korean, have a house here and belong...Joshua is just interested in you. Accept it". You grinned at Vernon's tone "why is it so important to you guys that I do?". "Because then you and Joshua can finally become a couple like the whole group wants!" Seungkwan cried and Vernon shot him a look. "What?" you asked confused and Vernon laughed awkwardly "nothing...just the members kind of ship the two of you". "What? Does Joshua know?". Vernon nodded "they sometimes tease him but it's just a bit of fun! Like how we tell Mingyu he's gonna marry his reflection". "All of you ship us?" you asked. Seungkwan nodded "yeah because we see how you look at each other and how Joshua used to look at Mark". You laughed "Joshua and Mark were friends!". "Yeah but not friendly...more Mark was important to you so Joshua was civil to him but he never liked him, he actually had a go at him one time". "What?" you asked and Vernon nodded "yeah we were at this nightclub and Mark was there. It was when you were ill and Joshua went over and asked how you were and basically heavily hinted Mark should go home and look after you or he would. Mark left like five minutes later". You remembered that night, Mark had appeared early from his night out and you thought it was such a kind and sweet gesture...but apparently it wasn't even his idea. It had been Joshua all along. "Wow I didn't know...does Joshua do stuff like that a lot?". "All the time for you!" Seungkwan cried "you just never seem to notice". You nodded "well I'll try paying more attention now do you want to play uno or something?".

After that, what Vernon and Seungkwan told you about Joshua largely slipped your mind as you were busy with work and training. So you were really relieved when you finally had some free time and went out with Vernon, Seungkwan and their members. You were having a nice night and really enjoying being with your friends. You did notice how good Joshua looked but figured he was always handsome so you checking him out didn’t mean anything...Seungkwan and Vernon had different views but you were too tipsy to argue so just humoured them. 

You were passing through a room coming back from the toilet when you spotted a familiar face. Mark was there and he wasn’t alone, he was sat with a girl and they clearly were not friends. You backed away from the scene as if you’d been struck by lightning and felt panic begin to build in your chest. You felt like the lights and music were too powerful and you couldn’t calm down no matter how much you tried to. You weren't sure why it affected you so much. You and Mark had broken up over 3 months ago now. It had been amicable and you'd both sensed it coming for so long....so why did you feel so hurt? 

You didn't know what you were feeling all you knew was you had to get out of the room so you quickly backtracked the way you came and rushed outside. You banged into several people in your rush but barely noticed them. You finally made it outside and let the cold air wash over you. The wind was piercing but it helped you to breathe so you didn't even feel the coldness of it. You had your eyes closed trying to stop the tears but it didn't work. You jumped when a hand touched you. "Y/n what are you doing out here it's freezing!" Joshua cried quickly wrapping his jacket around you. "I'm fine..." you said but your hands wouldn't stop shaking. "What happened?" Joshua asked seeing the tears running down your cheek. You struggled to speak and only managed to say “Mark” but that was enough for Joshua. “He’s here? What has he done?  "has he said something to you? I swear if he has...". "No" you said shaking your head "he...I just don't want to be here anymore". Joshua nodded "would you like me to take you home?". You shook your head "no I can't ruin your night". "You won't be, trust me. I won't be able to enjoy myself if I know you're upset anyway. Come on let me take you home and we can talk if you want?" he asked. You nodded "okay" and Joshua led you to the exit, keeping close to you but never presuming to touch you. Once outside again you felt better and Joshua quickly got you to his car and opened the door for you. Then he walked around to his door and slid in beside you. He gave you a small smile and passed you his phone "play anything you want or we can just drive in silence. Whatever you want". You nodded and tearfully chose a random playlist.

You arrived back outside your house in what felt like no time and Joshua hesitated in the driveway. “We’re here...do you want to be alone or would you like some company?" Joshua asked. You weren’t really sure how you were feeling but you knew if you went into the empty house alone you’d just start crying. "Can you stay? How about we watch a film?" you offered and Joshua nodded "sounds great" and parked. Once inside you got changed while Joshua went to make some hot chocolates. You met in the living room and while the tv was loading Joshua looked at you. "So it's fine if you don't want to but would like to talk about what happened?" he asked and you sighed "I feel so stupid really...I saw Mark with another girl and it just hurt. I don't even know why! I'm happy we broke up and I don't want him back but I saw it and freaked out...what's wrong with me?". "Nothing!" Joshua assured you "y/n you and Mark were together for years, it's bound to scare you when you see him with someone new. It doesn't mean you're weird or still want him. It's normal". "It is?" you asked and Joshua nodded "when my first girlfriend dumped me I was a mess for months and months, still if I meet someone with her name it makes me feel vulnerable and weird for a few seconds". "That's what it was! I felt so vulnerable and alone! Like he was moving on and I wasn't...does that make me really immature and petty?". Joshua shook his head "not at all, but you know you're not vulnerable or alone right? You have all your members and friends not to mention, me, Seungkwan, Vernon and all the other members. We're all here and always will be". You blushed "thank you that means a lot, I'm glad I met you". Joshua smiled back "I'm glad I met you too y/n" and you just enjoyed the moment for a few seconds. 

As you watched Joshua you saw the way he was staring at you, the way his eyes looked at you with so much care and adoration and your heart sped up as you recognised what Vernon and Seungkwan meant. Joshua quickly caught himself though and moved away from you. He would never make a move on a girl while she's emotionally vulnerable so he did the responsible thing and turned to you with an innocent smile "so what film should we watch? You picked last time but I guess I can let you choose again". You smiled back at him and took the remote from his hands, ignoring how your heart fluttered when your hands met. 

After that it was like your whole world had been turned upside down. You couldn't stop watching Joshua out of the corner of your eye and later when he left your stomach did back flips as he hugged you and told you to call anytime if you needed him. You lingered slightly and blushed as he stared at you with those beautiful eyes. Once he'd gone everything felt different and things even looked different. You were no longer upset over Mark, you had this excited feeling in your chest because you were pretty sure you'd fallen for Joshua. The next morning you asked Seungkwan and Vernon to grab a coffee and met them around the corner from your house. Once you were seated you sighed "okay so I've got something to admit. You might've both been right this entire time" you said looking down. Vernon didn’t get what you meant but Seungkwan did. He leapt at you with a huge grin on his face "you finally see it! You see how he looks at you". Vernon grinned "Joshua?" and you nodded "how did I miss it?". "Honestly when you were with Mark you didn't see it because you were his girlfriend and only interested in him but I think now, finally, you don't have that blinding you. What happened? How did you realise?". You explained the situation and the two were soon acting like school children, squealing and grinning at you. "Y/n you have to come to Joshua's birthday barbeque next week and tell him!" Seungkwan cried and Vernon nodded "totally!". "But I thought that was for members only?" you asked. Seungkwan shrugged "so? We're doing it for Joshua and what better way to make him happy than having you there?". You blushed at how sweet that was and Seungkwan continued. "You should totally come just before we eat too! Make a grand entrance". Vernon nodded "yes make it more dramatic". "Oww and wear that red dress you wore to Vernon's birthday party! Remember the way Joshua's eyes nearly popped out?". Vernon hit his arm but you were now very okay with the idea of Joshua finding you attractive. "Okay I'll do it!" you said feeling confident. That confidence of course had completely faded by the time the event actually rolled around. "But what if it all goes wrong?" you texted into your group chat with Seungkwan and Vernon. "Not possible" Vernon replied instantly. "Yeah, he's going to be so happy to see you. Are you near?" Seungkwan asked. "I've been parked outside for five minutes". "Y/n! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE RIGHT NOW!" Seungkwan replied. So you got out and nervously made your way to the front door. Vernon was helpfully waiting there and he grinned when he saw you "come let's put your stuff inside and then take you to Joshua". You blushed "what if he doesn't actually like me?". "You're only saying that because you're nervous. it's all going to be great" Vernon told you and you chose to believe him. You found Seungkwan inside and he rushed over to hug you. "You look smoking! Joshua is going to be on the floor". You just turned even redder and Vernon laughed "come on let's get her outside" and you followed them. You could hear the other members talking now but couldn't see them as Vernon and Seungkwan blocked you from their view by walking in front of you.  "Have we got room for one more?" Seungkwan called and dramatically moved out of the way so you were revealed. "Y/n?" Joshua called and you smiled "hey, I hope it's okay I came, I brought alcohol and presents". "Of course it is but you didn't have to bring anything!" Joshua said rushing over to hug you. The other members smirked as he practically ran and threw his arms around you. "Happy Birthday!" you smiled hugging him back and Joshua was beaming. "Thank you so much for coming...would you like a drink?". Joshua led you over to the bar and the members all smiled. "We all woke him up bang on midnight, arranged a skype home and threw him this party but we didn't get a smile even close to that" Scoups said grinning "he's so smitten it's cute". "Vernon and I totally win best birthday present" Seungkwan said and the others all nodded. "Well it’s hardly fair when your present is the girl he’s crazy about" Jeonghan commented. You and Joshua turned around to find everyone staring at you and they quickly pretended they hadn’t been talking about you.   As you came to sit down the members all moved down so you could sit next to Joshua and the two of you stayed like that most of the day. You chatted to everyone of course but your attention was well and truly captured by Joshua. He looked so happy surrounded by all his friends you never realised how beautiful his smile was before. Throughout dinner you kept shooting shy glances at him and then blushing when he caught you while doing the same to you. 

After you’d eaten it was time for gifts. "Present time!" Seungkwan cried coming forwards with the stack the second the table had been cleared. You helped pass them down to Joshua and smiled as all his members got him such great gifts. You noticed Seungkwan sneakily keeping yours until the end and tried to get Vernon to stop him but of course he didn’t. So the last present was yours and Joshua recognised that straight away. “Y/n’s! You really didn’t have to get me anything”. You shook your head “of course I did it’s your birthday!”. Joshua went to argue but the members called for him to open it already and so Joshua relented. He undid the wrapping paper and began to laugh. "What is it? What are they?" Hoshi asked and Joshua grinned "y/n you didn't?". You smiled at how he riffled through the box. "Jaffa cakes, Jamie Dodgers, Space Invaders...you even baked Cherry Bakewells! You got me all the best British snacks! This is amazing". You blushed at how happy Joshua seemed "well you loved them so much that day you tried them at mine so I asked my mom to send some over for your birthday!". "Wait you shipped them over from England just for my birthday?" Joshua asked like you'd imported them from space. "It's no big deal" you shrugged but Joshua shook his head "it is. Thank you y/n I love it so much". You smiled "I'm glad you liked it" and Scoups smiled before he caught DK trying to steal some of the snacks "Dk no!". "But they're British snacks! I've never had them before" he whined. "They're Joshua's that y/n shipped across thousands of miles. Leave them for him". "I'll bring some more for you to try next time" you promised and Dk relaxed now pleased he wouldn’t be left out. 

Seeing as that was the last present, you needed something to mark the occasion."Let's take a photo" Jeonghan said and everyone nodded and began moving closer together. "Who's going to take it?” The8 asked and you stood up "why don't I? That way you can post it on social media if you want to". Joshua shook his head "no I want you in the photo" which made you blush and all the members smile again. "We can just put it on auto timer" Wonwoo said and he and Jeonghan began setting it up while everyone got into place. "Sorry I think I'll have to come closer to you" Joshua told you and you shook your head "it's fine" and relaxed as he leaned on your chair putting an arm around the back to stabilise it. "Okay everyone ready? We've got 10 seconds from when we press the button" Jeonghan called. Everyone nodded and you glanced at Joshua making him look at you. "What?" he asked and you shook your head "nothing you just look really nice" as the camera took the photo. Joshua had the biggest smile on his face.

After that you all played some drinking games and soon the hours flew by without you even realising it was almost dark. "Y/n are you staying over tonight?" Dino asked noticing the sun setting. You paused "erm maybe, what time is it?". "Too late to drive back or get a taxi" Scoups said "just stay". You were just about to nod when Hoshi smirked "I'm sure Joshua won't mind letting you bunk with him". Everyone paused in shock and Hoshi gasped “did i say that aloud?". "Yes" Jeonghan said secretly loving how pink you and Joshua had both gone. "Y/n can stay wherever she likes, with me, with Vernon, with Joshua..." Seungkwan said trying to save the situation but he just made everyone laugh at the awkwardness even you and Joshua. "I'm sure I'll figure something out" you smiled and caught Joshua watching you making him blush.

Slowly the members began to move inside and prepare their last surprise for Joshua. It was an American movie he loved and they were turning the living room into a cinema. So they told Joshua to stay put and as more and more drifted off you stayed with him for company. You smirked as you got a text "it's my mom asking if you liked the snacks" you laughed and Joshua smiled "we should send her a selfie with them". He held up a space invader and passed one to you "if you want to of course?". You nodded "sure" and moved closer for the photo. Joshua held the phone out in front of the two of you and smiled holding up your little alien-shaped snack. Joshua took the photo and then brought it up for your approval. You both looked so happy and good together that it made you pause. You’d never looked like that in any photo with Mark and it made you feel so grateful to have Joshua in your life. 

Joshua noticed your expression turn serious and paused “woah y/n are you okay?”. You nodded “yeah today’s just got me thinking and you know I don’t think I ever thanked you for being so nice to me when we first met". Joshua shook his head "ow come on it was nothing". "No you made me feel welcome and offered to help me with my Korean and moving apartments and basically everything. I always wondered what I did to deserve such kindness from you". Joshua smiled "Y/n you don’t have to do anything to deserve kindness. It's a basic human right that you are more than worthy of". You blushed and after having several drinks felt a little confident so you replied "It’s things like that which make girls go crazy for you, you know?". Joshua laughed "I’m not too sure about that" he smiled and you shrugged "the ones with any sense do". "Like you?" he asked boldly and you paused "yeah...like me. I guess that means I'm the only one with some sense". "That's more than fine by me, you're the only girl I'd want paying attention to me" Joshua replied and leaned in to kiss you. It was spontaneous and beautiful. You don’t think even Joshua had been expecting himself to do that but it made it all the more perfect.

When you separated Joshua looked worried. "It just occurred to me now I did that without asking you if it was okay with you" Joshua said softly. "Well I'm hoping you could tell from my reaction but I didn’t hate it" you replied with a huge smile on your face. Joshua laughed "that's a relief". "I like you" you said simply and Joshua smiled "I like you too...I have for ages but the time was never right but now...". "Now feels pretty perfect” you smiled and Joshua grinned "I couldn’t agree more. Best birthday ever”. You laughed "happy birthday" and kissed him again. The two of you walked up to the house hand in and hand and passed the window making all the members gasp. You let Joshua go in first so he could see the room and smiled as he was so impressed with everything. He loved it and the members quickly directed him to a seat in pride of place in the middle of the room. Joshua looked for you but you realised you’d forgotten your phone and went back outside to grab it. Joshua turned back to the room and the members all grabbed him. "Stop!" he called smiling "none of this when y/n gets here. I don’t want you to make her feel uncomfortable". "I'm sorry but we’ve been waiting for this for years, you can handle a little excitement" Jeonghan replied. 

You walked inside and the boys all stopped and then cheered. You blushed and Joshua held out a hand to you. You joined him and he pulled you into the seat with him, letting you hide your blush from the guys. "I just want to say I'm so happy you two are together" Seungwan said "you'll be a brilliant couple and we don’t even have to threaten Joshua because we can trust him...but still hurt y/n and I will kill you" Seungkwan said making you laugh. "Don’t worry I have no plans to make her anything other than happy" Joshua replied and several members groaned while the others awed. You blushed and turned to Jeonghan "should we just play the movie and kill the lights?". "Why? You got some plans with Joshua when it goes dark?" the boy asked smirking and Joshua threw a cushion at him "just play it!". Jeonghan pressed play and the room dissolved into darkness. 

Once the movie started everyone settled down and Joshua moved closer. “Hey i’m sorry about them” Joshua whispered but you shook your head smiling “it’s okay, they’re just excited”. He nodded “well as long as they didn’t make you uncomfortable”. You shook your head “no i’m very comfortable” leaning into his arm around you and Joshua chuckled “good” and moved closer. The gesture felt so natural and you felt so safe and welcome here with Joshua and all his members. Something told you it was where you were meant to be. 

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[zeltqz]

𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒 [𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐃] SIX

pairing. ex!ran x fem!reader

word count. 7k

series synopsis. bonten is forming and in the midst of it all, you find yourself caught in the sticky webs of your ex boyfriend and current bonten executive, haitani ran.

content. smoking, mild drug use, SMUT, mentions of past alcohol addiction, murder/implied death threats

a/n: i am so SORRRY you all had to wait like two fucking months for the next chapter. I came back from my summer vacation and had my birthday recently so i was inactive sorry sososrryryryryr 😔😔 hope you enjoyed this chapter ily all

2006

You tried concentrating as you poured some milk into your cereal but the sounds of the TV channels being flipped every two seconds drove you to borderline insanity. “Would you chill out?” you asked, glaring at Ran over your bowl of cereal.

“Can’t find anything worth watching.” He was lounging around in your living room, his feet kicked up on your table and shrugged, turning to look at you and flashing a cheesy yet charming grin in your direction. 

Your mother walked down the stairs, rubbing her eyes tiredly. When she saw a shirtless Ran sitting on her couch, she almost passed out when she saw the litter of tattoos on his chest, trailing up and down his leg and arm. 

Ran felt her stare and glanced at her, raising a curious eyebrow and anything she had to complain about instantly faded as she shut her mouth and walked over to the kitchen. 

She dragged you to a corner of the kitchen, one where Ran couldn’t hear. “Is this the guy…you were telling me about?” she asked, concerned.

“Yes?” you responded, looking at her weirdly and scooped your spoon back into your cereal. “Why?”

“Why is he here..? At ten in the morning?”

“Oh. Because he slept over.” You took a bite of your food, satisfied with the small unhelpful answers you were giving her.

“Oh. I didn’t see him last night. What time did you get home?”

You shrugged. “Around 2-3?”

She pressed her lips together, firmly. “Where’s his shirt?”

“I got hot during the night,” you laughed but she didn’t find it funny.

“Well couldn’t you give him another one?”

“Unless you want to see him in one of my tank tops then no.” The amusement slowly drifted away when you realised she wasn’t humouring you at all and she was being serious. “Why are you asking so many questions?”

She gave you a concerned look, like she expected the answer to be obvious but it only pissed you off more. Who the hell was she to judge who you liked?

Reading the look on your face, she instantly dropped the topic, not wanting to get into another argument with you, especially not sober. “Okay, fine. I won’t ask any questions.” She crossed her arms and leaned against the cupboard. “Are you at least going to school today? It started three hours ago.”

You shook your head. “I’m staying here with Ran today. You’ll be gone, right? For that job interview?”

“...yeah. My AA sponsor said I should start getting back on my feet.”

“Good.” You put your cereal bowl down. “I can stop carrying the household on my back and you can start doing your job as a mother,” you said sweetly, tilting your head condescendingly to the side. 

She returned your incredibly fake smile for a second and then sighed, dropping the act and returning back to concerned mother. “Skipping school for a boy though…? Is that really smart?”

You glared at her, pushing your side off the counter to stand in front of her. “Don’t start this. Not now. I’m happy, and he makes me happy. If you cared about me, you’d accept it. Hiro likes him too!”

She shook her head and took a deep breath, trying to come off as gentle yet firm. “You may think he makes you happy, but—”

“I think I know what I like mom. I’m eighteen! I’m not some child that doesn’t know what she’s doing.”

“You’re dating a guy that looks at least twenty—”

“I’m nineteen,” Ran called back from the living room, his eyes glued onto his phone. 

Your mother’s mouth closed shut as she ate down her words and you looked at her, waiting to see what bullshit she’d come up with next. She lowered her voice to a whisper, “I didn’t know he could hear us.”

“So?”

Your mother grabbed your hands and squeezed them reassuringly. “What you’re going through, baby, is what every teenage girl goes through at your age. It’s a phase.”

“It’s not a—fuck! Mom!”

“It is!! I went through the same thing at your age. Next thing you know I got knocked up by a—”  she lowered her voice to ensure Ran couldn’t hear this time, “a delinquent. And how do you think that turned out?” You shrugged your shoulders. “Exactly. He fucking left. Where else do you think your dad is right now?”

“I don’t care about that man. Ran is nothing like that. He actually cares about me. He got me a job, taught me things and even let’s me stay at his place when I don’t want to stay here.”

“Wait, you stay at his? Like live with him?” 

You nodded slowly. “The fact you don’t even know when I’m gone is concerning. What’s the problem anyway?I use protection if that’s what you’re so scared of—” 

“I just don’t want you fucking up your life like I did mine. Especially at your age. Okay?”

“Who said I’m—”  Your mother shushed you when your volume was starting to rise. You cleared your throat and spoke again, but more quietly, “who said I’m fucking my life up?”

“You’re literally skipping school!”

“It’s the first time! Just for today! It’s his only free day, okay? I dunno when I’ll be able to spend time with him again. Just let me have this. Please? I’ll catch up on my school work tomorrow. I promise.”

“He’s not a good influence, baby. You’re smart, you can do better than this.” 

“Are we done here?” You sighed, rubbing your temples in irritation. Your mother looked like she had more to say but closed her mouth and slowly shook her head. “Good.” You walked away from the kitchen, into the living room and flopped down on the couch next to Ran. 

You waited until your mother walked back up the stairs before turning to face Ran, putting your head on his shoulder.

 “Hey, pretty girl. You done arguing with your mother yet?” He said, attention fully on his phone and lifted his arm up to wrap around your shoulder, holding you tightly against his side. 

“Hiya,” you smiled and nuzzled your face in his chest, taking in his strong scent. “My mother thinks you’re a bad influence.”

“Can’t say I disagree,” he said, grinning. You playfully slapped his arm and he slid his hand down to your sides before lifting you up and to straddle his lap. 

“I’m sorry you had to hear that,” you said softly, lacing your arms behind his head and leaning down to peck him on the lips. “She’s just a hypocrite.”

“It’s fine baby. C’mere.” You shifted on his lap to rest your head against his shoulder. “You worry too much. Who cares what people think.”

“I don’t care. I just hate her fucking opinion. She always judges everything I do. Then once she starts drinking again she becomes the most irresponsible person on the planet, but expects me to be a saint? It’s so tiring.” 

Ran hummed and kissed your forehead. “Want me to make you feel better?”

You bit your lip and looked up at him before smiling. He tossed his phone on the opposite couch and flipped your positions, your back resting flat against the couch as he hovered over you. You erupted in a fit of giggles and laughter as he kissed his way down your stomach, making you squirm and squeal with excitement. The buzz of butterflies flew in your stomach as he kissed down your belly. Your shorts were short enough to show him the lace of your panties Mira helped you pick out during your shopping spree last week. You watched intently, bunching his long hair up and out of his face as his lips lingered close to your thighs. Your breath hitched as he stuck out his tongue, running it along the thin fabric, then licked a trail back up your body, to your face, kissing you deeply. 

Your mother watched from the staircase shaking her head in disappointment as she watched you fall for someone like him. She's had experience with guys like Ran, she knows what kind of monster they are deep down inside and knows exactly how they were. After all, she fucked around with a guy like that and got pregnant at 20. Your dad was a deadbeat, refusing to accept you as his own and left when you were four. Ever since that night, she's been drinking to cope with the loneliness, unable to function by herself after getting so attached to him. They'd be on and off for a couple years, and constantly get your hopes up that you'd be a happy family, but they just weren't meant to work out.

In all honesty, she would have loved for you to meet someone else, a nice guy who could give you a stable relationship, but that's impossible. In her eyes, Ran was bad news, he was all fun and games, but deep down he had no feelings for you other than lust. And once you fell for him, he would use you until he got bored and moved onto the next girl. She couldn't imagine why you would fall for him. But it was obvious how happy you are with him. So you can only hope that she was wrong. That maybe one day you will meet someone special, and not end up like her.

So she let out a heavy sigh, and went back upstairs. 

Present day.

It had been a week, and the phone Mikey gave you remained eerily silent, devoid of any notifications or messages. You spent the weekend at Shion’s house, keeping conversations to a minimum, only sharing faint smiles when he’d place his hand on your waist for a kiss. You weren’t in the mood, and you felt guilty for taking your sour mood on him, but the conversation with Dona and the plan Mikey and Sanzu formed had put a damper on your entire mood.

You hadn’t left Shion’s house either; instead, you laid on the bed, consumed by your thoughts about what you’d have to do with Mira. Your finger hovered over Mira’s contact for a few moments before you finally decided to get over yourself and text her.

You: MIRAA i missed you so much. Are you free anytime soon? 

You cringed at the text but sighed and hit send. Mira seemed likely to be busy, what with her engagement to the head of police, or chief of police? Frankly, you couldn’t be bothered to remember Naoto’s job title. While waiting for her response, you managed to clean both Shion’s bedroom and the living room. Boredom had driven you to it, there was nothing else for you to do anyway. 

Ran’s number remained blocked, even though you knew it wasn’t his fault that lackeys broke into Hiro’s house and beat him half to death like you thought initially. But at the end of the day, you still promised Hiro you’d stay away from Ran. It wasn’t as simple as it sounded, especially since the initial anger toward him had faded now that you knew the incident wasn’t planned, not even Mikey had been aware of it.

You were in the midst of wiping down the kitchen counters, earphones playing your favourite song in your eyes when your phone suddenly buzzed in your back pocket. The vibration startled you, and you hastily set the cleaning wipes aside. After drying your hands on the sides of your jeans, you grabbed your phone from your pocket.

Mira: HEY!!!!!!!!! ITS BEEN SO LONG I MISSED YOU SO MUCH :( SORRY BUT I’M BUSY ALL WEEK. I’M FREE THIS WEEKEND THOUGH. IS SATURDAY ALRIGHT?

You chewed the inside of your cheek, taking a moment to think. Next Saturday seems fine, but you feel by then it’ll have already been two weeks and you don’t want to wait too long before Mikey and Sanzu think you’re stalling. You brought out the burner phone in your dresser and unlocked it, pulling out Dona’s saved contact details and called her for advice.

You had a few questions on your mind to ask her. How long does it take to piss Mikey off, how many bodies does Sanzu have, how to quit this Bonten agreement with all your limbs and organs intact. It still angered you to even think about asking Dona, especially after the argument, but you had no other choice.

It seemed like the idea of talking to you pissed Dona off as well since she practically growled, “What the hell do you want?” the second she picked up the phone.

“Oh grow up, would you? This 8 year one sided grudge you have isn’t cute.”

“Did you think for a second that maybe it’s not a ‘one-sided grudge’ and I just genuinely don’t fucking like you?”

You rolled your eyes so far back in your head and settled down on the bed with a hefty sigh. “Cool. Anyway, are you free on Saturday?”

“...why?”

“Is it not fucking obvious why?” you snapped. There was a long silence on the other end before you groaned loudly. “Mira? The plan? The whole entire reason we’re even talking right now?”

“Oh. That. Can’t, sorry. I’m busy on Saturday.”

“Well that’s the only day Mira is available so clear up some damn room and cancel your plans.”

“I’ll think about it.” Dona said.

“‘Kay. Thank you D—” There was a beep and the disconnected sound blared in your eyes. “Bitch.” You tossed the burner back into the dresser with a thud and you quickly made sure you didn’t crack the screen. Inspection over, you grabbed your main phone and texted Mira saying you couldn’t wait to see her this weekend, smiling when she sent a string of emojis mixed with hearts and smiley faces before disappearing offline.

Your heart warmed knowing she hadn’t changed a single bit, always sending those same string of emojis whenever you both parted ways during texts. You left your phone on the bed, about to head back to the kitchen when your phone buzzed against the sheets. You picked up the phone, only to see there were no notifications. Confused, you looked around, remembering the burner phone and grabbed it. 

The phone only had 9 saved numbers: Mikey, Sanzu and Dona were the only ones that you knew of. You didn’t bother checking the rest. Pulling up the contacts, you saw the names of all the other executives: Ran, Rindou, Kokonoi, Takeomi, Mochizuki and Kakucho.

“Oh my god, Kaku,” you said to nobody but yourself. You were faintly acquainted with Kakucho, only saying hello and exchanging waves whenever you crossed paths, which wasn’t often either. You barely saw Ran’s friends back then except Rindou. 

You checked the recent messages on the burner. You couldn’t help but feel lightness in your chest when you saw the message was from Ran. 

Ran: so this is where you’ve been hiding

You smiled at the text, shifting onto your back on the bed and typed back a response. 

You: how did you find me

Ran: you forget who I work for?

You: oh. yeah makes sense

You: so what do you want

Ran: i miss you

You: u went 8 years without me. You’ll live

Ran: and I joined a criminal organisation, cut my hair short and dyed it pink and purple. What does that tell you

You: that I’m amazzzingggg

Ran: ik u are. 

Ran: come over tonight 

You: I can’t sorry. I made a promise that I can’t see u again

Ran: I would take that seriously if you didn’t make that same exact promise to ur mother ten years ago

Ran: and I still got u in my bed

You: …

You: fine. But I don’t want your drivers driving me around anymore. 

Ran: thought you would like the princess treatment 

You: no I don’t. You can help buy me a car tho?

Ran: ?

You: plsplsplsplspslspslssss

Ran: I’ll think about it

You: and I’ll see you tonight 

Ran: alright baby

“I’m back!” Shion called from the front door. 

You turned your phone off and entered the living room, approaching Shion from behind. You wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him into a bear hug. He stumbled forward from the impact, taking a second to catch his footing before peeking behind his arm at your face dug into his back. “Aw, you missed me.”

He turned around and you let go of his waist, his hands rising to hold your face and plaster a wet sticky kiss on your forehead. 

“Ew, gross,” you mumbled, a hint of a playful smile on your lips as you wiped your hand over the leftover spit. He grumbled for you to shut up and walked over to the kitchen, opening the fridge door to examine its contents. “I’m not gonna be home on Saturday,” you said as you followed behind him.

“Really? Why?”

“I’m hanging out with Mira. A little reunion thing, you know?”

“That’s cute.” He pulled out the milk and opened it, sniffing it, then grimaced and tossed it in the trash. “But who the hell is Mira?”

“You really don’t remember her? Me, her and Dona?”

Shion removed his head from the fridge and looked at you and shrugged. “Oh wait.” He took a moment and you crossed your arms, waiting. “Oh! Her! Didn’t she have a crush on me?” he smirked.

You rolled your eyes. “She found you cute at first, then you got knocked out in a fight. Instant ick.”

His eyes narrowed. “That fight wasn’t fair and you know it. Nobody told Hanma to bring a goddamn bat.”

“Like you’d win if he didn’t have the bat—” You just about dodged the empty water bottle he tossed at you. You quickly grabbed it and threw it back in his direction. He swiftly swatted it away before it could hit him and you scoffed. “If only you could fight as good as you could dodg—”

“That’s it.” He picked you up by the legs and carried you over to the couch, ignoring your complaints which eventually turned into laughter when he set you onto the couch. He swatted away some cushions and pinned you against the surface. 

“You caught me off guard. That’s all.”

“Yeah okay.” He laughed and dipped his head down towards yours. You parted your lips when his tongue slid past your teeth, hot against your own. You giggled, closing your eyes as he nipped at your bottom lip. 

“Lemme borrow your car later,” you said in between kisses, wrapping your legs around his waist as he started nibbling at your neck.

“What?” he mumbled softly, breaking the kiss and looking down at you. “Fuck it’s been so long since I fucked you.”

“I said,'' you wound your arms around his neck. “Can you lemme borrow your car tonight?”

His eyes travelled down your body and his gaze lingered on the swell of your tits through your shirt for a moment before moving back up to your eyes when you purposefully moved your head to his eyeline. “Please?”

“Uh. What for?”

You shrugged and lolled your head back against the couch, your finger rising to wrap your finger around the silver chain dangling from his neck. “I just want to drive around. I’m bored. Please?”

“I mean sure…but—” You swiftly sat up and kissed his cheek as a distraction. His cheeks were flushed slightly and he bit down on his lower lip, a satisfied grin forming on his face when your lips slowly trailed from his cheeks to his lips, kissing him slowly and passionately, the way you know he likes it. 

You pulled away and brought his head down to your lips, whispering, “please?” into his ear. He groaned and kissed you one last time before thoroughly agreeing. “Thank you thank you thank you! Mwah.” You planted one more kiss on his lips before pushing him off of you and slipping off the couch.

~*~

“What exactly is this supposed to be?”

Ran shrugged, finished downing his drink and placed it back on the counter top before leaning forward to get a closer look at the little baggie you had in your hand. “Kokonoi gave it to me.”

“Yeah okay, but—” You let out a noise of doubt and put it back on the table. “I don’t trust it.”

“Since when were you a pussy?” 

You looked up at Ran and glared at the smug smile on his face. “I’m not a pussy Ran. I just don’t want to eat a random pill that you yourself said you don’t know what it's called!”

He rested his elbows on the marble countertop and his grin widened. “I took it earlier and I’m fine.”

“That’s because you barely have brain cells left to scramble.” You reached over the counter and ruffled his perfectly styled hair. “I’ll do it because I trust you.” You removed the pink pill from the baggie and held it up to your eyes, examining it cautiously. “If this kills me—”

“It won’t, you big baby. Eat it.”

You bit your lip and thought for a moment before looking back up at him. “Fine. Get me some water.”

“Just swallow it.”

You huffed, “I need some water to help. I can’t just swallow it.”

He looked at you, amused, and crossed his arms. “Why not?”

“Because! Ugh, shut up!” You put the pill back on the counter and stormed over to the cabinet, grabbing an empty glass, then to the tap to fill it with tap water. Ran laughed from his corner of the kitchen as he watched you stomp your way around his kitchen, like a storm. You turned to glare at him, his laugh only making you even more annoyed. “What the hell is so funny?”

“You,” he cackled again when your eyebrows furrowed deeper. “Your temper. It’s hilarious.”

“I don’t have a goddamn temper.”

“You explode at anything small. It’s cute.” He walked over towards you and booped your nose, the tip of his finger skirting down your cheek to your chin, lifting your face up to his eyeline. “You really haven’t changed a single bit. It’s reassuring.”

“Well, thanks.” You looked down at the glass of water with an uncertain look on your face. “This’ll get me high right?”

“Yeah.” You took a second for motivation and Ran moved to grab the pill off the counter. He returned in front of you, “Open your mouth.” He waited until your mouth was open before slotting the pill on the flat pink of your tongue. You brought the water up to your mouth and took a sip before digesting it. 

Thanks to the water, you couldn’t feel the full effects of the pill hitting you until a few hours later, you resting on top of Ran’s chest, drifting in and out of sleep. He had you locked tight around his arms, enjoying the warmth and weight of you atop of him. He felt you shuffle around, trying to get comfortable.  

“What car do you want?” Ran asked, looking down at your head resting against his chest. Your head was tucked under his chin, one arm wrapped around his waist as the other clutched onto his shirt. 

Your head felt heavy when you tried to lift it from his chest and squinted up at him. With the drugs running through your veins, everything looked brighter and crispier, colours seeming sharper than usual. It was hard to focus. “Ummm, what car?” you asked slowly.

Ran chuckled softly and leaned downwards, pressing his lips against your forehead. “The one you asked me to buy you.”

“Hm.” You sat up from his chest and straddled his lap. He slid his hands up your thighs to hold onto your hips. Your hands rested beside his head as you hazily looked down at him. “I wasn’t serious about that. You know?”

“Serious or not, I’ll buy it for you. Anything you want. Just tell me.”

“Really?” you smiled and bit your lip.

He shifted upwards, inching closer to your face, your nose brushing against his. “Anything you want.”

You couldn’t resist the close proximity anymore and dipped your head downwards, kissing him gently. You lifted one hand from the bed to rest on the side of his face. He pulled your hips closer, pressing you hard against his erection. The friction and the heat of his body against yours made you moan softly, which he eagerly swallowed up with each kiss. 

You could feel his cock begin to harden against your inner thigh and bit down on his lip before sucking it back into his mouth, relishing in the low groan he left out when you slowly pushed your hips back against his lap. Your hands gripped onto the pillow under him, digging your nails into the fabric as you latched your lips onto the skin of his neck, biting and sucking gently on the flesh. His hand skimmed past your thighs, along the curve of your ass and gripped it, squeezing whatever he could grab and groaned at the feeling of your soft lips against his skin, sucking softly.

You broke the kiss and licked down his neck. His skin tasted sweet and tangy, sending tingles throughout your entire body. 

Your world was flipped when he switched positions in the blink of an eye and hovered above you, gazing into your eyes with lust filled desire. You looped your arms around his neck and pulled him close, locking your lips together.You felt Ran’s hands slide across your leg and hitched it upwards to wrap around his waist, and you whimpered in response, your back arching as you let yourself loose around him.

“This okay?” he murmured softly against your lips as his hand slowly entered inside your jeans. You nodded vigorously and pulled him back down for a kiss, slipping your tongue desperately between his lips. The sheets got tangled beneath your bodies as you both kissed passionately. 

You pushed him onto his side, his hand lifting your thigh to rest over your leg. His fingers unzipped your jeans and helped you toss them off before lifting your thigh to rest over his leg, sliding his hand down to rest against your ass, his grip creating a heat wild enough within you and sending a jolt of electricity to your core.

With every inch of his body pressed against you, you couldn’t help but moan. “Fuck me please Ran. I need it.”

Ran hummed deeply against your lips and pushed you onto your back. He knelt between your legs and you giggled as he parted them open with his big hands. You reached downwards, his fingers teasing the waistband of his pants and you helped him push it down and off his hips. You grabbed his cock, the tip wet with pre and positioned it by your entrance. He braced his hands beside your head, his forehead touching yours as your pussy twitched when he moved closer to you, trailing kisses along your neck.

“Oh fuck,” you gasped, closing your eyes shut when you felt his cock slowly enter you. “Fuck fuck fuck oh my god.” You dug your fingers into his shoulder blades and arched your back, feeling the head slide past your barrier, stretching you out.

“Almost there baby.” He kept thrusting slowly, taking his time and going further inside of you with each stroke. You cried out loud, louder than before, moaning constantly as he pushed himself deeper into you. “God, you’re so tight.” He groaned out your name and your body shivered at the raspiness of his voice.

“More,” you panted desperately, your eyes meeting his gaze for the first time since entering you. 

He snapped his hips forward, filling you completely and pulled all the way out, his cock wet with your juices before fucking back into you. The heat of his skin searing your walls as you sank your nails into his shoulders. His lips found yours again, soft and warm. Your fingertips flipped across his back and you felt his cock throb within you. Each thrust had you clenching around him, clutching him tight to your body as he fucked you with slow, methodical strokes.

You tossed your head back, panting and crying out, clutching onto his hair, the back of his shirt, anything you could possibly muster. 

“Arms up baby,” he ordered and sat back, his cock still warming your sides. His hands held onto your hips, digging into the soft flesh as you shrugged your shirt off, reaching behind your back to unclasp your bra and toss it off the bed. It landed into a sorry puddle on the floor along with your shirt and Ran’s jeans, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care, not when you looked back and saw Ran in the middle of shedding his shirt off. 

“I always loved this tattoo,” you giggled, running your arms along the pattern before bringing him back down to your level, arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him down for another steamy kiss. 

You spread your legs wider apart and pressed down on his lower back to get him deeper inside you. His mouth travelled to your breasts where he started sucking on your nipples, biting down softly and nibbling on them. He slipped his hand beneath your body and grasped your clit, rubbing lightly in circles causing you to gasp loudly. You came apart in his arms, shattering into pieces and screaming his name in his ear. He pumped faster and harder, his hips slamming against yours as you tightened around his cock once more. His climax shot through him, thrusting every inch of his cum spilling inside of you. Every drop was heaven, you felt yourself tighten up once more and seconds later your orgasm arrived, intensifying everything. You dripped on his cock and held onto him so tight you swore there were permanent nail marks on the bone of his shoulder.

He pulled out and collapsed beside you, breathing heavily. Your muscles relaxed slightly and your eyes fluttered closed as he pulled you to lay close against him. He kissed your neck softly, stroking your thighs with his hands. 

“You alright?” he asked quietly.

“Mmmm. I’m amazing,” you hummed in agreement, resting your head against his chest and nuzzling against him. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you. “I really missed you Ran.”

His eyes traced your face and he saw the genuinity in your eyes. “Me too baby.” He smiled softly and his hands slid down your bare back and cupped your ass, pulling you tighter against him. “Missed this too.”

He leaned in and kissed you on the lips. Anything you had to say melted away as you indulged in him, humming softly into his mouth before pulling away. 

~*~

The supermarket was busy and bustling as Mira walked through the aisles with her shopping cart. She had a whole list ready and was looking for the dairy aisle when she bumped into someone’s cart. “Sorry!” she apologised and gasped when she looked up and saw who it was. “Dona?”

Dona smiled at her and waved, putting her basket on the floor as Mira practically pounced on her, pulling her into a suffocating hug. 

“I thought I’d never see you again! What the hell?!” Mira pulled away and rested her hands on Dona’s shoulders, practically buzzing with excitement. “You look so good!”

“Oh stop,” Dona pushed her hands off her shoulders. “You’re still so damn energetic, it’s crazy.” She put her hands in her pocket. “What’s up though. What’re you shopping for?”

“Oh this stupid party Naoto wants me to host for his cop buddies.” Mira sighed and walked back to her cart. “I love Naoto but fuck, those damn cops are so annoying.”

“Really?” Dona asked, grabbing her shopping list. “Wouldn’t expect nothing more from a buncha cops. I’m surprised you’re even with one to be honest. Thought you hated them.”

“I do!” Mira said, hiding her face behind her hands while laughing. “No but Naoto’s…different.”

Dona stared blankly at her. “Different…?”

“Yeah! He’s not like those backwards, misogynistic asshole cops. He’s so sweet and treats me like a queen and he’s so sweet! Oh my god! He does this cute thing in the mornings and brushes my hair out of my face and whispers “good morning beautiful” in my ear every morning. I pretend I’m asleep just so I can hear him say it and he kisses me goodbye before work and—”

“Okay I get it! Sheesh, rub in your relationship more in my face would you?” Dona sighed and picked up her basket, following next to Mira as she began walking with her trolley. 

“I can’t believe you’re still single! Guess he really broke your heart, huh?”

“Don’t even talk about him right now. Fuck Shuji. That fucking asshole.”

Mira laughed. “That was like what, ten years ago? You need to let that go.”

“I’m trying! Okay?! But my minds been occupied with…stuff.”

Mira stopped by the meat aisle and began searching for some chicken breast. “Stuff or someone?”

“Someone as in a boy?” Dona asked and Mira nodded, checking the back of the package before dumping it into the trolley. “No, I'm not seeing someone.”

“You should.”

“I’m good.”

“You used to be so boy crazy! What happened?”

Dona shrugged and looked down at the floor for a short moment, biting the soft tissue of her cheek. “I just grew up I guess. Anyway, this party thing. When is it?”

“Tomorrow night. I have to cook for a bunch of weirdo cops. Not looking forward to it.” Mira paused for a moment and then gasped. “You should come with me!”

Dona blinked at her. “What?”

“Yes! Oh my god please please please. I’ll need someone to keep me company.” She clung onto Dona’s arms as she begged. “I’m so sick of all the other cops' wives. They’re all judgemental and yucky and like three times my age. Definitely jealous of my youth.”

Dona laughed and Mira pouted, hoping it’ll be enough to convince her. With a final sigh, Dona finally gave in. “Fine. But only for two hours. I have work.”

“Really? What do you work as?”

“I uh…it’s complicated.”

“At least you have a job. I’m just known as Naoto’s wife and stay at home all day. Maybe I could come visit you on your free days?”

“It’s oof.” Dona thought about it for a moment. “I can take you to a club I work at whenever you’re free. Sometimes we gamble and stuff. You wanna join?”

“Gambling…? I thought that was illegal.”

“Never stopped us back in the day.” Dona winked, playing around and watched the conflict flicker all over her face. “It’ll be a little secret. You don’t have to tell Naoto anything.”

“Of course I won’t! I may be marrying a cop but I’m not a snitch. Especially on my best friend. I’m just worried about what Naoto would think about me going to a gambling club. He’d definitely lock the place up, haha.”

Dona rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to tell him anything. You’re allowed to have secrets.”

“Legal secrets, yeah.”

“Come onnnnnnnnn. Join me! It’ll be fun, I promise. I’ll even invite (Name) over.”

Mira’s face lit up even more. “Really?! She can come!?

“She fuckin’ better come.” 

“Oh my god the gang's back together!” Mira chirped and jumped before pulling Dona into a big hug. “I can’t wait! Lemme go text (Name) right now!”

“You go do that.” Dona checked her phone. “I gotta go anyway. My boss wants me to clock in now.” She pulled Mira in for another hug. “I’ll see you as soon as I can, okay.”

“Okay, bye bye!”

When Dona left the store, she quickly typed a message to you before entering her car and driving off.

~*~

“Are you busy tomorrow?” you asked hesitantly.

Ran laughed softly. “I’m working tomorrow. Probably be gone for most of the day.” He shifted onto his back and laced his arms behind his head. You propped yourself onto your side and frowned. “What’s wrong baby.”

You shrugged and looked downwards at the mattress, speaking in a quiet voice. “I dunno, I'm just lonely. And bored. I don’t really have anything to do lately.”

He ran his thumb down your cheekbone. “You wanna come with me?”

“Depends. Do I have to witness a murder?”

He grinned widely. “If everything goes well tomorrow night then there’ll be no murder.”

You snorted. “So there’s still a possibility, huh?”

“People die everyday,” he mused and you looked at him with a serious face, pursing your lips together and he sighed. “Fine. Fine. Even if things go to shit tomorrow I promise I won’t kill anybody. I’ll…think of other things.”

“Good enough for me.” You leaned in to kiss him again but stopped short when your phone buzzed. You groaned and reached behind you, fumbling for it on the dresser, bringing it up and reading the text from Mira and Dona. 

Mira: I RAN INTO DONA AT THE SUPERMARKET AND SHE WANTS TO HANG OUT TOMORROW!!!! ARE YOU FREE?

Dona: got mira to come to the club. Be there tomorrow at 7

“Oh fuck,” you muttered under your breath. 

“What’s wrong?” Ran leaned his head on your shoulder and read the text message. 

“Guess I won’t be following you to work tomorrow then,” you said, turning your phone off. You looked over at the heavyweight on your shoulder and rested your head against his. “I’m seeing Mira tomorrow. So I guess you know what that means?”

“Is this about that stupid plan you made with Sanzu?” He asked, pulling away from your head, reaching inside his drawer for a cigarette. You nodded and watched him light the end and shifted back on the bed, bringing the covers over your naked body to cover you. 

“You know about that plan?”

“Little bit.” He lit the cigarette and tossed the lighter back into the drawer. “If it’s not affecting me or any of my business, I don’t care enough to ask more.”

“It’s not affecting you? This Naoto dude?” you asked, trying to get a bigger picture.

“I mean he is, but I’m careful. He’s not catching me anytime soon.”

“Still cocky as ever huh,” you said and he grinned widely around his cigarette. “Anyway I hate the plan a lot. But it's for Hiro's benefit and I’m willing to do anything for him. Even if it means fucking up Mira’s marriage and her fiance’s career forever.”

Ran could feel like there was something up with you and eyed you for a moment. To anyone it was clear the plan was bugging you and as much as you tried acting cool about it, he could tell the guilt was slowly eating you inside. He exhaled cigarette smoke out before putting it on the ashtray beside his bed, shifting back against the bedframe and opened his arms for you to fit in. “C’mere.”

You looked at him and his open arms and shifted forward, crawling the distance between you both and rested between his arms. He enclosed them around you, the side of his face resting against your forehead.

“Do you need some advice from me or want me to shut up and stay silent?” he asked for a moment.

You let out a silent laugh and nodded. “Advice please.”

“Okay.” He cleared his throat and began speaking. “Sometimes in life you gotta do bad shit. Even if you don’t wanna.” He finished talking and you waited a couple seconds for him to continue. 

You were confused when he unwrapped his arms around you and slid off the bed, putting his boxers back on and stretching. 

“What the hell? Is that it Ran?”

“Yeah.” He walked over to his closet and began rummaging for tomorrow’s outfit.

“What kind of advice was that?!” You groaned, stopping your eyes from rolling back. “Sometimes I forget how useless you are.”

“Temper baby,” he responded back, flicking through the range of suits and blazers hung in his closet. You took a moment to admire his closet, impressed with his collection of suits, ranging in different colours and couldn’t help but imagine anybody but Ran pulling it off.

He found an old dress hung up and tossed it in your direction. “Try this shit on for me.” 

The dress landed on your face and you grimaced and pulled it off. Holding it up in the air, you examined it, front to back. “Why the hell do you even have a dress? It’s so small it can’t even fit me!”

“Some girl must’ve left it over,” he said casually, picking out a purple form fitting suit from the hanger and left it on the edge of his bed. All forms of amusement on your face slowly melted at the mention of another girl and you deadpanned in his direction, but he missed it as he began changing back into his clothes. “Does it fit you?” he asked, fitting his shirt over his head.

“Don’t tell me you expect me to wear this? I’m not wearing some recycled dress.”

“You want me to buy you a new dress?” he asked, looking at you.

“Duh.”

He knelt down on the edge of the bed and grabbed the dress, tossing it towards the end of the bed. Your complaint was cut short when he grabbed your ankle and tugged, successfully tipping your back onto the mattress as he inched forwards, climbing over you. His hands laced between yours and you looked up at him, wide eyed. 

“I wonder what it’ll take to get rid of this attitude of yours, hm.” You tried to struggle out of his grip but your attempts were pointless. 

“I don’t have an attitude.”

“Yeah you do. Now ask nicely and I’ll get you what you want.”

You bit down on your tongue and swallowed your pride before lowering your voice to a whisper. “Can you buy me a dress?”

“Can’t hear youuu,” he leaned his ear down lower to your mouth to hear better. “Use your words.”

“You heard me. I’m not saying it again.”

He pulled away and stood up from the bed. “Baby steps. But fine. I’ll take you shopping tomorrow.”

“Not tomorrow. I’m busy.”

“When are you free then?”

“Any day that’s not tomorrow.” You stood up from the bed. “But I’ll probably have to see you tomorrow if you’re going to be at the club Dona sent me.”

“Maybe.” He pulled you closer for a hug. Your arms wrapped around his midsection and you dug your face in his chest, enjoying how big and warm he was. 

“Can I stay over tonight?” you asked after a moment, looking up at him. 

“You’re gonna be home alone though. I’m not coming back till late.”

“How late?” He pulled his arms away from you. “Dunno. Maybe three? Four?”

“Jesus what the hell do you do all day?”

“Don’t worry.” He booped your nose and you scrunched it in response. “Get some sleep okay? I can see your damn eye bags.”

“Fine. Goodnight and thanks for letting me stay.” You got into bed, grabbing the big warm sheets and covering your whole body. 

“Anytime baby.”

masterlist

TAGLIST: @escafhwiluv @lyniana @haitanifxn @rindougf03 @mvteria @hisan-na @luvhaitani @mishueb @Dreamxies @yuma404 @sleeplessreader @shinichirolover @illusorysmut @Lxvephxbic @obsessedwreiner @ililailii @insayninthamembrayn @missgab @reihimbo @l0velikethis @lollevi @danasaan @tenjikusstuff4 @midoriapologist @alkanessa @asp7n @thebrownemo @levstar777 @sanaukii @yumidepain @jesjesboo @pink-sugar-rush @ssailorvenuss @mizukikyong @suckonlimes @xngelsau @wrldstarrr @lonnie19 @yanfei-kisser @wrldstarrr @hayeoyeon @christmassugarcookies @minimari415 @hxonieverse @rinshoe @taihjj @ezri261 @mkc-ana @secretanimesimp @https-sonshine @nil-eena @weebausarus @secretxchive @getosmybeloved @kakuchosbff @atarathegreat @erenwifey @nyanglock @illumiismyforeverhusband @tsumudrip @notdyl4n @haruchiiiyo @strawberryshorcakee3 @satoruloaf @whoreforfictionalmen18

#—tr </3 #series : wasted times #ran x reader #tokrev x reader #tokyorev x reader #haitani ran x reader #ran haitani x reader #haitani ran smut #ran smut #haitani ran headcanons #ran haitani smut

[valkriii]

𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙜

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headcannon

warnings // anxiety

❝ How the guys would react to the reader getting overwhelmed and hiding themselves away ❞

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The day felt dreadfully long, being worked to the bone and damn near verbally abused by customers all day for 8 hours straight. To top it all off you still had a little party to go to at the lair with the guys, yet it was the only thing to look forward to, to get you through your hell of a shift. When the guys offered of course you agreed, you couldn’t tell them no and especially your boyfriend, despite the day you had you assumed the party would lift some of the weight from your shoulders. Oh how you were wrong, not realizing exactly how drained your social battery and mental had been. While trying to still show face and be social with everyone else you felt the tightness in your chest begin, leg tapping impatiently as your eyes darted around. You couldn’t focus and it began to frustrate you as you gave a shaky breath, the setting becoming more overwhelming by the second with the music, laughing and high energy in the room amongst the guys along with April and Casey.

“I-I’m going to go to the room for a bit… I’ll be back”, you excused yourself before rushing off almost immediately.

Leonardo

You’d be insane to think Leo hadn’t noticed your unease, he was a ninja for Christ sake—

Even despite your fake laughs and smiles to play along with the others Leo saw through all of it, hence why he kept you close to him most of the time

Whenever you excused yourself to his room and basically ran off ALL alarms went off in his head

Excused himself not long after to go check on you after watching your antsy behavior become more and more obvious through the night

Wanted to make sure you were okay. NEEDED to make sure you were okay

Once he stepped into his room he saw you sat on the edge of his bed, hunched over with your hands covering your face as you took shaky breaths and soft whimpers escaped.

He quickly shut the door behind him and rushed over to you, internally panicking—

What was wrong??? What happened?? Did he do something? His brothers?

“Hey hey… you okay?.. what’s wrong?…”, Leo spoke so softly thinking if he spoke any louder you’d shatter

Yes, your little cries and whimpers were breaking the leaders heart

When you explain that your day was really hard and everything felt like to much and it overwhelmed you Leo couldn’t help but frown

Sits besides you before pulling you into his lap and coddling you, gently rubbing your back and letting you gather yourself

“I’m sorry… you didn’t have to come if you weren’t up to it Hana.. it would’ve been okay. You come first, you always come first..”, Leo’s words coaxed you out from your anxiety filled meltdown as you leaned your body entirely into him.

Silences you with peppered kisses to your lips immediately when you try to apologize, “you wanna take a warm shower and relax a bit?”, he always knew how to make you feel better

Raphael

Raph noticed you acting a bit off but assumed it was due to you just getting off of work

Of course he asked how your day went and you gave him a plastered smile with ‘great’

Didn’t want to push or pester you so just kept an eye out

Whenever you excused yourself and scurried away Raph gave a questionable look to the others before setting his drink aside, “I’ll be back”

Raph stepped into his room to see you balled up in the blanket he knitted you so you had one when you stayed over

Your breathing was all to fast with soft cries and sniffles escaping you

WHAT HAPPENED?! WHO HURT YOU— Raph was ready

“Baby doll what happened?”, Raph’s voice was laced with worry as he rested a hand on your side where you laid bundled up, he could feel you trembling

Oh his heart broke for his baby

After you explained how your day ACTUALLY went and how the party just overwhelmed you he felt SO BAD—

Raph simply climbed into the bed with you and opened his arms into which you climbed into instantly, accepting the bear hug your massive boyfriend gave you

Raph always gave THE BEST hugs and they were your favorite things, bringing you back to your senses instantly

Your boyfriend let you ride out your episode of anxiety in his arms, cooing gentle words to calm you while his hand gently rubbed your back

“Dont EVER do anything if ya ain’t feeling good okay?… I’ll always be here to take care of ya”, Raph being soft and comforting to you always made you melt

Cups your cute face in his hands and peppers kisses against your lips before wiping away your tears, “grab one of my shirts and get comfy… we’re snugglin’”

Donnie

Donnie knew when your mood was off

Considering Donnie knew you like the back of his hand with how much he studied you (not in a weird way) and paid attention to you over the year you’ve been dating, he caught on to when you weren’t feeling good instantly

Checked on you here and there in which you would try to give him a nod and stiff smile, he wasn’t buying it

Donnie didn’t even give you the chance to run off, escorting you out himself as he guided you to the lab

All the signs were there and you were going to spill—

Once you two were in privacy Donnie looked down at you and cupped your cheeks, hazel hues locked with your own filled with the utmost concern

“Are you okay?”, Donnie’s voice was so sincere and concerned

Cue the water works—

You start crying almost instantly, babbling out what was wrong between cries as Donnie silently nodded and wrapped his arms around you.

Donnie simply held you and rocked you gently as you let it out, “you’re okay.. todays over. You can relax now..”

Donnie was such a sweet pea when it came to taking care of you

When you began to relax, Donnie brushed your hair out of your face and looked down at you as he wiped away any stray tears from your cheeks

“Do you wanna go to the room and watch a movie?.. we can eat movie snacks..”, Donnie always knew how to put a smile on your face

Mikey

Considering Mikey was the one who organized the party tonight he was all to happy to have you there as well

Everything seemed to be going smoothly, everyone laughing and joking, enjoying their time but he couldn’t help but notice you not really joining in on any of it

Was the party bad? We’re you not enjoying yourself? Everyone enjoyed themselves at his party! Especially his girlfriend!

After you excused yourself and disappeared, Mikey couldn’t help but frown at your absence

Mikey didn’t want to be a bad host and leave his guests but his girl came first!

After announcing he’d be back he strolled to his room, “hey! Why’d you disaaa…”

Mikey’s words drifted off when he saw you hugging yourself and shaking a bit with soft whimpers

Similar to Leo, his own mind was going haywire with panic about what could’ve happened to cause this, did he do something?

Mikey walked up to you and automatically wrapped his arms around your waist as he hugged you close

“Hey angelcakes… did something happen out there?”, Mikey usually had an aloof upbeat demeanor but it faltered when he saw his girlfriend in distress

You tried to brush it off for Mikey but obviously there wasn’t any hiding it anymore—

Mikey don’t take excUSES

Makes you spill what’s actually wrong

Mikey is pretty knowledgeable about anxiety considering he actually tends to get it at times himself

“We can always stay in here if you want”, stays with you the entire time till you’re calm, the guests can entertain themselves

//just something to throw out there to get my mind off the fact life is kicking my ass right now. If Mikey seems off it’s cause I 100% don’t know how to write for him properly

#tmnt #tmnt bayverse #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #tmnt fic #tmnt leonardo #tmnt x reader #tmnt donnie #tmnt raphael #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt leo #tmnt raph #tmnt leo x reader #tmnt raph x reader #tmnt mikey x reader #tmnt donnie x reader #tmnt bayverse x reader

[softxsuki]

Hello, congratulations on your milestone!!! I am not sure if there are any spots left, but if there are, can you please do the trope enemies to lovers with a tokyo revengers character? Have a nice day and congratulations again!!!

1.5k Follower Event Trope #1 Tokyo Revengers

Trope 1: Enemies to Lovers

This event is now CLOSED. You can check out the masterlist for this event here.

| Pairing: Baji x Gn!Reader | Genre: mmm fluffish?? | Post-Type: Drabble | Word Count: 760 |

Warnings: Slight mention of violence and being killed (baji says it once, no one actually dies)

Note: Thank you so much! I had this one sitting in my google docs for while because I didn't like it, but I reread it today and I think it grew on me after letting it sit there for a while lol. Enjoy :D

“Why are you here again?” Baji spits, not impressed at all.

You were another person Mikey had dragged in, finding you interesting and deeming you both friends, not that you minded. You hadn’t joined Toman, but Mikey always invited you over to their base, and you quickly became fond of many of them, including a certain black-haired man that couldn’t find it in him to accept you.

“Still suspicious of me? Seriously Kei, ever thought about loosening up?” You question, walking past him.

The nickname makes Baji’s heart flutter slighty, much to him mentally refusing to acknowledge it. “Oi, I told you about calling me that name. Stop acting like we’re so close to each other! I don’t want you here,” he grits, hating how unfazed you were by his  ‘hatred’ for you.

“Yeah yeah, I know you like it,” you tease, disappearing down the stairs to head back home for the day.

Since the first time Mikey introduced you to everyone, Baji had his suspicions about you. How could everyone just openly accept you to hang around them and listen in on their meetings? What if you were working for a rival gang, showing up to get intel for them? Why was he the only one suspicious of you? And why did you have such an affect on him? Your carefree attitude, your disregard for being surrounded by dangerous men. He felt so conflicted.

The longer you hung around, the more he let his walls fall, yet he kept that stubborn, rudeness whenever you were with him. He refused to show that he had somewhat trusted you, let alone that he may or may not have a thing for you–though he’d never admit that to anyone, he could barely admit it to himself. 

One day though, you had managed to gain all his trust. You had found a sneaky rat from a rival gang sneaking around Toman’s grounds, just looking for trouble. Could you fight? No. Were you still going to call him out and try and get him to leave? Yes.

You approach the man and begin to threaten him, talking big for someone who couldn’t defend themselves. Baji was watching the whole thing go down from afar. A tinge of suspicion grew as he watched you approach the man who was clearly up to no good and didn’t belong with Toman, but that all vanished as soon as he saw you try and make him leave.

“That idiot,” he grunts to himself, tying his hair up as he makes his way over to you, arriving just in time as the guy goes to throw a punch your way.

Baji quickly pushes you out of the way, and easily beats the guy up, mentally making a note of the gang attire he wore so he could inform Mikey of the situation later.

“Are you insane? It’s like you were just asking to get killed! You should have just shouted for one of us to help, we’d be able to hear you if you screamed loud enough. What kind of idiot who knows they’re weak, tries to fight someone off alone?” Baji went on and on, telling you off, yet all you could do was smile at him.

“Stop looking at me like that with that stupid grin, it isn’t funny”

“Heh, you care about me,” you smirk, egging him on.

“Of cour- What?! NO! No, I don't. What made you ever come to that conclusion?” He screamed, his face growing red at his almost confession. Why were you so irritatingly cute?

He could deny it all he wanted, but it was obvious how he felt for you. Now knowing that he could trust you, he started hanging around you more often. And after a few more months, he became the one who’d invite you over.

“You know…you could just ask me out instead of staring at me all the time. I’d say yes.” You say from beside him, feeling his eyes on you as you sit side by side on the shrine steps.

“What?! I-” He groans, feeling stupid that he was so obvious. With a sigh, he looks away from you. “Then let’s date.” 

You didn’t expect him to actually go along with it. Who knew the man who had hated you so much would be secretly admiring you and finally have the guts to ask you out.

“Sure,” you shrug, feeling your own face heat up.

It would take some time to fully warm up, but dating was the first step, a large step from where you’d been with each other before.

Posted: 1/2/2024

#tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo rev x reader #tr x reader #baji x reader #baji keisuke #tokyo revengers x you #tokyo revengers x y/n #tokyo revengers x gn reader #tokyo rev x you #tokyo rev x y/n #tokyo rev x gn reader #tr x you #tr x y/n #tr x gn reader #baji x you #baji x y/n #baji x gn reader #tokyo revengers drabbles #tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo rev drabble #tokyo rev fluff #tr drabbles #tr fluff #baji drabble #baji fluff

[bozepomagaj]

ATINY/MOA/CARATS vs Made in Abyss was the last thing I expected and its hilarious

feel like I need to say something since twitter absolutely loves spreading misinfo and just accusing people of shit, how have you people not LEARNED your lesson yet? Since when is twitter such a trusted source, especially gossip accounts?

And before you braindead stans start calling me a d!ckrider, I promise you I do not care about these men cuz I've got better things to focus on and I'm making this because people are overreacting and it's getting annoying. It's so obvious 90% of you haven't watched the anime (and thats completely fine, I get you) and then ended up listening to someone who made stuff up and overexaggerated. I'm not here to defend the author because I hate him as much as you do and can absolutely recognize the dude is into some weird shit but saying people are ONLY interested in this series because of r@pe and p€dophilia is INSANE. So let me answer some questions as a Made an Abyss reader (not calling myself a fan because you'll catch me DEAD before you see me buying any merch or manga despite my love for the series), kpop fan second.

Does Made In Abyss contain p3d0ph1l1c themes, gore etc.?

There absolutely is because the author is a creep (refering to the nsfw however, most of the times it's very easily skippable. As someone who hates l0l1con cuz it creeps me out, I can tell you that I really didn't have a hard time skipping said scenes even in the manga which is far more explicit than the anime (Prushka asking about Bond's 'stick', Faputa looking into Regs pants, Vueko's weird comments) and sometimes, they're even added as extras (0.5 chapters) which certain sites that contain scans don't even include. I didn't even know about the existence about a few of these chapters BECAUSE they don't include them.

The OVA is a nightmare to watch and was not only unfunny but creepy as fuck especially when they try to boil down such an amazing character like Ozen into 'I like seeing little kids in pain'. Now I have no idea if this was made independently but I don't remember the author making any spin-offs that they could base this on so I can't tell you who wrote it but even then I doubt that the author minded it since the man himself had to include that Faputas behind smells like the 'Sun' so again, not here to defend him cuz he most definitely is a weirdo, no doubt about it.

Is Made in Abyss torture p*rn?

If MiA is torture p*rn then AoT is military propaganda and supports child labor, TPN is also torture p*rn, JJK promotes violence, Berserk excuses r*pe and Evangelion is also p*do bait. See how stupid that sounds? Just because an anime INCLUDES something, does not mean it necessarily supports it. Yes, r*pe is mentioned but it's not even SHOWN, and it's a cruical part of a characters backstory. The torture that happens, happens only once if we exclude Riko's 'experiment' at the very beginning of the manga. And Mitty's transformation can't even be classified as torture cuz it's a.... transformation. Prushka's death is very censored so its not like you can jack off to that anyways. Now the piss thing is something I have noticed but haven't really payed attention it because bffr why the hell would I so idk, maybe the author is trying to tell us something or the guy thinks pee pee poo poo funny🤷‍♀️.

Is there any plot besides the weird stuff?

See now this is the part that gets me most because the reason why a majority of people nowadays got into MiA in the first place is BECAUSE of the amazing plot. The world building, the mystery, the fight scenes, etc. It's amazingly drawn, nicely paced and unique in its own way. But of course, it's manga&anime and what's anime without fanservice? I already explained that in manga, said scenes can be easily skipped and the anime thankfully doesn't include a lot of these. I do have to admit thag I dropped the manga for now since the chapter where they were in a bath cuz it was another one of those 'here we go again' moments where it made me roll my eyes and just close the tab so I don't really know what's been happening recently and if things go weirder.

I'm also gonna tell you honestly that yes, the fandom is filled with sweaty dudebros itching to see these kids half naked and the author is aware of them and pondering to them because he too is one of them. But a large majority is back from when the anime originally came out and are mostly hiding on twitter so it's easy to avoid them and they've been pretty rare ever since people with actual interest in the series have begun watching it. A reason why back in the day I didn't wanna interact with the fandom at ALL was because the moment I tried to have a normal conversation about the plot and what might actually be going on, I instead get bombarded with "UWAAAA😭😭😭" and 'c*nny' comments. I also cannot defend and don't even plan on defending the fact that Faputa is pretty much naked the entire series. I get that she lives in the literal wilderness, but the very least you could do is put a cloth on her y'know. And mind you, I'm talking about the manga. The anime is a LOT more heavily censored, and from what I heard, even MORE censored in Korea.

To sum it up:

Do I think Mingi/Soobin/Woozi are p*dos cuz they watched the anime? Absolutely the fuck not. Considering Mingi is a big CSM fan, I can see why he watched Made in Abyss because I was in that same pipeline. I think some of you are going way too far with these comments, if you wanna call them weird, creepy, wanna unstan them for reading stuff like this go ahead, not gonna stop because in the end no one can but accusing people of crimes isn't funny and never will be. If they were exposed for watching shit like Kodomo no Jikan then that most definitely IS eyebrow raising. Maybe I'm slightly biased due to me only enjoying MiA for the plot so seeing people say the fans are p3d0s when the first time I watched this was when I was freshly 15.... yeah idk abt that one. Whether they liked the weird and questionable scenes, I have zero idea I'm just here to say that you can enjoy said anime without being a weirdo and you shouldn't begin jumping to conclusions and start calling people straight up criminals. If anyone wants to have a productive conversation and ask questions abt said anime cuz I doubt you're gonna go watch an anime over a Twitter drama, go ahead and ask. If you wanna insult me and call me a d!ckrider then go ahead and do that too, who am I to stop you?

#mingi #soobin #woozi #seventeen #ateez #txt #tomorrow x together #made in abyss

[doggone-devil]

How (Not) to Summon a Demon: Chapter 4

Kind of nervous about this one. I'm trying to make sure I keep true to Alastor's character and his personality, but boy is that harder than it sounds, haha! Please don't mind the typos and such also; writing is not my primary trade skill XD But anyways, I hope you dear readers enjoy! Feedback is always appreciated! Pairing: Alastor x fem!Reader Warnings: not really any for this chapter, it's kind of a filler

As the bedroom door slams shut, you drop Alastor’s hand and begin pacing. You eye him a couple of times, trying to make sense of it all. You finally stop and face him, waving your hands at him. “The fuck is this?”

“What?” He’s smiling. No, correction. He’s smirking, amused by all of this. You would punch him if he wasn’t a demon.

“This,” you motion to his body, pointing out the obvious. “You look human!”

“My dear, you wound me,” Alastor says, placing a hand on his chest. “I was human once.”

“Yes, but you’re a demon now! How are you…?” you trail off, noting how his voice is no longer filled with static. It’s crisp and clear, soothing even which worries you, but you can’t place the accent. It does, however, remind you of those old talk shows from the 1920s.

Alastor fixes his bow tie, standing proudly. “I’m a demon, darling, it’s all part of the gig.”

“So you have powers?” You feel anger bubbling up. “You could’ve totally shown up like that instead of all demon-y and scaring me half to death!”

“Yes, but you wouldn’t have believed me had I not came out all ‘demon-y’, correct?” he shoots back, smirk widening when you realize he’s right. You would have thought him an insane intruder and called the cops.

“Touché,” you subside, letting it go. You move to sit on your bed in a huff, feeling drained from all that’s transpired in such short little time. Now the matter at hand was presenting itself and you had no idea how to handle it. “What do we do now?”

“I fail to understand the question,” Alastor responds, staying put by the door.

“What do we do? We can’t tell Veronica you’re a demon,” you whisper the last word, afraid she’ll hear or that she’s listening in, ear pressed to the door.

“And why not?”

“You serious?” You scoff and roll your eyes, throwing your hands up. “Yeah, sure! Let’s just tell my roommate that I summoned a demon and that it wants to take my soul for the price of one measly wish. That’ll hold over well.” Alastor raised his shoulders with a nonchalant ‘hmm’. You really wanted to punch him now, demon or no, the irritating bastard.

“How long you gonna hog him?” Veronica calls from the other door, startling you. You groan, not ready yet. You needed a plan, something to say or your roommate was going to get suspicious. Wait… that’s it!

“Ok,” you say, walking over to Alastor in a hurry. He steps back in habit, eyeing you quizzically. You ignore it, placing your hands on his chest and continue, “here’s the plan. We have a spare bedroom that’s been listed for over a year now. I’m going to tell Veronica that you’re here to apply as our third roommate and to rent the room, got it?”

Alastor lets out another amused hum, brows raised and eyes lidded. He’s having a blast from watching you panic. “I suppose I could go along with it, so long as you get to making your wish.”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll talk about that later. First, we got a show to put on.” You open the door, Veronica nearly falling on top of you as she struggles to regain her footing. She smiles nervously like she just got caught and stands straight, fixing her shirt.

“So! Ready to let me in on what’s going on?” she asks. You nod and start moving to the living room, Alastor and Veronica behind you.

“Well, remember our spare bedroom we’ve put up for rent?” you start, taking a seat on the couch. Veronica sits next to you and Alastor takes the chair on the other side of the coffee table.

“The one that’s been listed for forever?”

“That’s the one! Well, Alastor here is applying for it, right?” You look to Alastor, hinting for him to take the lead.

“That’s right! I saw your ad and thought to myself, why this isn’t this just a charming little home? Perfect for me to live in as I reacquaint myself with good ol’ New Orleans!” Alastor spoke with ease, like he’d secretly rehearsed the whole thing. Meanwhile, you were sweating, nervous that somehow Veronica would know he’s a demon.

“Reacquaint, you from here?” Veronica asks.

“Indeedy! I use to, anyhow, some years back,” Alastor pauses to glance at you, smirking. “Though it’s been quite a long time since.”

“How long has it been? You see, girlie over there and I have lived here our whole lives.” Veronica leans in, smitten by Alastor already, you can tell. You want to gag, knowing she’d be shaking in her boots to know she’s trying to flirt with a demon, the stuff from nightmares.

Alastor crosses one leg over the other as he leans back a bit, getting comfortable in the chair. He seems to look off into the distance, making you wonder what’s on his mind before his attention snaps back. “I was born and raised here myself, though times were different, I’m sure. I’d say it’s been a few decades.”

Veronica looks at you before laughing. “Come now, Alastor, you make yourself sound ancient. You can’t be no older than twenty-five!” Alastor barks out a laugh, making you jump.

“My dear, you flatter me! No, I’m well in my thirties, but I appreciate the compliment.” You gawk at him. You, too, thought he was young. His complexion and features were sharp yet soft with youth. Then again, it shouldn’t shock your or him to be old. There’s no telling how long he’s been in Hell, been a demon. He could be well over hundreds of years old for all you knew.

“You certainly don’t look it,” Veronica states, breaking your train of thought. “So then, Alastor, what do you do for work?”

“I manage a hotel facility,” Alastor answers. It’s quick and you remember him mentioning a hotel when explaining Hell to you.

“Oh, sounds fancy! You must make a lot of money, then.”

“Veronica!” You smack her arm lightly.

“What? I’m just judging his financial stability, isn’t that what I’m meant to do? He’s going to rent from us, after all. I wanna make sure we get paid,” she defends. She speaks the truth, but she couldn’t been more subtle.

“Not to worry, my dear, any and all financial arrangements will be met.” Alastor shifts, grabbing something from his coat pocket. He voices your name, grabbing your attention. “I do apologize, may I ask again what the agreed amount was for moving in?”

“Right, the deposit,” you rack your brain for a number, trying to remember what you and Veronica set it at when listing the room. “Um, it’s $300 for deposit and $250 for first month’s rent.” Alastor pulls out an envelope, handing it to you.

“That should cover it, unless there’s anything further to finalize this?”

You look at Veronica, words escaping you. She just laughs, turning to Alastor. “Usually this is done a little differently but, what the heck! Welcome home!” She stretches out her hand and Alastor takes it, placing a quick kiss to the back of her knuckles. You frown at the blush on her cheeks.

“I don’t know where you found him, but bag him before I do,” Veronica whispers to you and now it’s your turn for your cheeks to redden. You want to protest, saying how you’d never, but you don’t want Alastor to know what she said. Though from the way he grins smugly at you, you have a feeling he heard.

“I’ll have your lease printed up by tomorrow morning,” Veronica says, standing from the couch. Alastor stands as well and she shakes her head. “Girlie, where did you find him? The 1930s?”

“You’re not far off,” Alastor jokes. Veronica shakes her head, checking the time.

“Good Lord, it’s that late already? I gotta get ready for work.” She steps out of the living. “Oh, why don’t you show him the room? I’m sure he’d enjoy that!” She winks at you and then disappears to her bedroom to get ready. You groan, letting your head hit the back of the couch.

“I think that went well, don’t you?” Alastor asks, that smile still plastered on his face. You wanted to punch it. You wanted to punch him. God, you were violent tonight, weren’t you?

“Come on, I’ll show you the room,” you say, pushing yourself off the couch. You move towards the kitchen, walking past it to a door that sat opposite yours. Veronica’s was next to it, the only other bedroom on this side while yours sat on the other. You liked yours cause it was on the wall with the bathroom, an easy walk to when nightly trips hit you.

You open the door and let him step in first. It’s a normal size bedroom, a full bed sitting in the middle with adequate space on either side to move. There’s a closet facing the bed, the hangers empty. The whole room itself is bare minus carpeted flooring and neutral grey walls.

“It’s not much, but I guess it’s something to be comfortable in while you’re here.” You pause, frowning. “Do demons even sleep?”

“Some do,” Alastor says, walking around the bed, his fingers ghosting over the comforter, “I find it difficult, so I usually don’t.”

“I feel ya there.” You rock on the balls of your feet, trying to kill the awkwardness you feel thickening the air around you. “Um, ok look.” You sit down on his bed with a sigh, running a hand through your hair. “I still don’t know what to wish for. I can’t wish for others and I really don’t know what I can think of that’s worth my soul. So, until then, you’re just gonna have to live here and play roommate until I do.”

Alastor, his smile tight, sighs and joins you on the bed. “It looks like I don’t have a choice, my dear. Can’t leave either way. You’re stuck with me just as much as I am stuck with you.”

“So it seems, Mr. Demon Boy.” You turn to face him a bit, bringing your leg to tuck under you on the bed. “Where are you really from, by the way? The way you talk is so…foreign.”

“Why, here in the bayous of New Orleans!” Alastor answers, spreading his arms wide. “A true, southern gentlemen.”

“But you have an accent, like some kind of talk show host.”

“No, no, my dear! A radio host, and I was quite the famous one during my time on Earth,” he says and you perk up.

“Wait, really? When?” Alastor raises a brow, seeming confused but amused at your sudden prodding. He seems to be in thought, weighing his options of telling you. You wait patiently.

“My last time on Earth was back in 1933. That is the year I died,” Alastor explains. He looks off towards the wall, disappearing into a flashback somewhere. You wish you could see it.

“So you’re from the 1920s then? That makes total sense now,” you say. The accent, the showman ship, the dramatic flairs. You were also right in thinking he was older than he said. Well over a hundred years. Amazing.

“Yes, indeedy! What a time to be alive it was. Say, what year is it now? Time gets a bit fuzzy when down in Hell.”

“2024.” Alastor’s eyes widen, no doubt shocked. You wondered if time even existed in Hell. Did it move just like on Earth? Did they have birthdays and holidays to mark the movement of time? You shouldn’t be so curious and, yet, if you were bound for it then why not learn all you could? It would certainly give you an advantage over others heading that way.

“My, my. I’m going to have to see New Orleans now. I’m sure she’s changed a bit.”

“You’d be surprised,” you say with a smile. If it’s one thing you loved, it was the historical preservation of the city. Sure, new buildings had popped up, but a lot of the old ones stood proudly along side them. “I could take you out to see them!”

“Darling, I would enjoy nothing more!” Alastor stands from the bed, moving to the side just as his door opens after a short knock. You see Veronica peek in, already fully dressed.

“Just wanted to let you know I’m heading off to work!” She looks to Alastor. “We’ll have you a spare tomorrow, too, when you get the lease! Too-da-loo!” She waves goodbye and a moment later, the front door shuts. You’re back to being alone with Alastor once again. Thinking of nothing else to do, you decide to say fuck it and ask.

“How about that city tour?” you ask, standing up off the bed.

“Are you sure, my dear? I would understand if you’d like to stay as far away from the demon as possible. Most in your situation would, but then again, most would have made a wish by now.” You chuckle at his comment, walking past him and out to the apartment entrance.

“I think we both know I’m not normal,” you say, grabbing your car keys. “I mean, I’m literally about to take a demon for a drive through the city. Tell me how that’d be normal?”

“Touché,” Alastor grins. He opens the door and steps to the side. “After you, my dear.” You feel your stomach flip, but push it back down, thanking him as you two leave the apartment.

taglist: @i-like-potatoes12533, @girl-nahh-two, @mcntsee, @projectdreamwalker, @sassmasterxx, @alsemain, @yunimimii, @noraunor, @justneo11, @dragonlover123a, @falsemain

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--- Masterlist --- Ao3 ---

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin alastor #alastor #the radio demon #alastor hazbin #alastor x you #alastor x reader #Alastor x Reader #Alastor x You #Alastor Fanfic #hazbin hotel fanfic #hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor fanfiction #the radio demon x you

[l0mljeonjungkook]

Lost & Found | knj x reader

➤ Summary - eight years beside him were nothing but a roller coaster ride. Being a single mother wasn't easy, but your best friend, Kim Namjoon made your way smooth. You never knew you felt something for him until you read his diary, which you weren't supposed to read ever. What will you do, if not only you but Hyeon, your baby, and your best friend Namjoon, wants the same, what you desired for so long?

➤ Pairing - Namjoon x reader

➤ Genre - fluff, smut, angst

➤ Warnings - 18+ unprotected sex, grinding, lovemaking, explicit sex, confessions, hickeys +more.

➤ Word count - 9.6k+

"When are you getting spliced?" you questioned him while wiping off Hyeon's face daubed with the ice cream all over his mouth.

"y/n why do you ask the exact question every dinner night!! besides I'm better off alone." He pointed at you with the chopsticks in his hand.

"What? I have a license to interrogate, a license called best friends since uh--", you count on your fingertips and Hyeon laughs at you catching a glimpse of you amounting to something on your fingertips, "since seven years, yaah!! after all, you're diving into the 28th year of your life, Mr. Kim!!" You chuckle a pure sham chuckle.

"Hyeon, tell your mom, to concentrate on her food." He instructs Hyeon, who's heartily licking his fingers overlaid with ice cream yet his almond-shaped hazel eyes, are shaded with a craving for more ice cream, and mischievous eyes spot chocolate ice cream on the table.

"Hyeon is bored with mom and you", you both crack up.

You look back at the man sitting opposite you, "No, but seriously, when are you jumping on to propose Ji-a, enough of coffee dates now! I want you to start a family", you didn't ask, you implored, however, honestly you don't understand why.

"Coffee dates?? Are you-- insane? Coffee dates?? I never really got into such dates with her, if you ask me!! Who the hell told you so?" He blurted but instantly looked at Hyeon as if the kid heard his shoot voice and shut his eyes, "I'm sorry y/n, I didn't mean to shout out loud at you. Just to be transparent with you I'm currently not seeing anyone nor will see anyone in the future. And if you got your answer then let's leave, I'll drop you two."

You honestly don't get, why he gets so pissed off with your question.

"No, Hyeon needs more ice creams"

"Baby, no--"

"Which flavor my angel wants?" He questioned Hyeon, with fondness in his eyes.

"Chocolate one"

Barely a minute ago he was ready to drop you two home but isn't it obvious, that his love for Hyeon is out of the world?

"Why do you get so painfully angry about your marriage"

"Cause I don't want to!!!"

"Mom--"

"She's a nice--"

"Mom mom--"

"Yes baby", you wiped his face again.

"Mom I want you to get married to my friend" he announced, eyes on his ice cream.

You chuckled, looking at the man sitting opposite of you, "friend?"

"Yaa mom, Namjoon, he's good mom, then I'll tell everyone that my friend is my dad too." He giggles, and you both can only ignore him.

This question caught you off-guard. It startled you but it wasn't unfamiliar. You have been subjected to this question by none other than you, yourself. It didn't amaze you that much but what shook you was - the man himself in front of you.

It's been five days to be precise, since the last dinner on Saturday night you haven't heard from him. It's the sixth day, Friday morning, you couldn't sleep the entire night, questions eating your inner soul because Namjoon your best friend for 8 years, phones you every morning before you drop Hyeon to school and whether you said no to him for conceivably thousands of time, that you'll drop your kid to school, he still expects perhaps one day you'll let him, but latterly he ain't called you once. And you vow to yourself if today too he won't, you'll despite everything.

Kim Namjoon, where will you inaugurate him? There's only a beginning point, and you could purely start word-for-word about him but no final page for his efforts, love, respect, and support for you, it's something you have been subjected to a lot of instances where his efforts, love, care, and support for you only increased tripartite. There's only an open door in your heart for him but closed when he carved his room in there, and now he's been living there for 8 years.

How you two met was indeed one of the two, best parts, of that university.

You two met at New York University 8 years ago to be exact, both from the same place Ilsan in Goyang, Seoul, South Korea, albeit never met each other, registered for the same program in uni, attended the same classes, but never spoke to each other. It was one day when you dashed to the class and took a seat beside him, horrified by the professor that if he didn't let you in like the other day he did with one of your class fellows, but the sigh of solace left your lips when you saw your professor was late for the first time in 3 months, hah!

You're somebody who never initiates a conversation with someone whether known or unknown, and you would have never known him if he wouldn't offer you his bottle of water, "Drink it, the professor would be late fifteen minutes", you were zoned out until you heeded his deep baritone voice which startled you. You blinked owlishly when you saw his hand stretched out the bottle in front of you.

"Thank you", barely two words you managed to choke out, after taking two sips, you handed the bottle back to him. Still today you laugh at your naivety, how you treated him the first day you two met, though you two used to gawk at each other, yet never persuaded to exchange a word or two. But you remember how your inner self lauded the Lord, for arriving late to the class. If In case you were on time that day maybe... You'd have perched on your regular seat, and again you two would have been eyeing each other from east to the west of your class, and never would have been friends. That was day one of your friendship.

"Uh-- sorry but would you mind walking with me to the library, umm after this class," taking a view of the watch on his wrist as he puffs out a breath, "uh, Just for the group project, if you already are in some group then there's no rub. I'm still looking for a group--"

"Oh, no issue, I can connect y'know", why are you feeling so diffident in front of him, looking everywhere but him, tracing circles on your palm midst talking to him, "I-- uh I too am not in any bunch, so let's do this then?" You harrumph, rubbing your sweaty palms on your thighs.

And you smack your head and snappily shut your eyes at the remembrance, of how shy you were beside him, but not now, now you two are akin to birds of a feather flock together.

"Great, then," he said with a dimpled smile.

His dimpled smile from ear to ear and the dips on his cheeks, and the crinkles near his crescent eyes looked so adorable on him. Not to mention his eyes are like a crescent moon, you could even draw his picture with closed eyes. The picture of his face is engraved in the back of your head.

Those days with Namjoon were flooded with solace, giggles, and serenity until one glossy day turned grey when you met Hyeon's father - Jace, at that university the first and last awful and guiltiest memory at uni.

But why are you even calling him your child's father, ever he said was, one thing for your kid, that he's not his. No, not again this pang in your chest.

You met Jace in the second year of your university. Not to mention the initial months of your relationship with him were all glitter and gold. You both enjoyed your university life like a grad student usually does. Being at frat parties was a new norm for a girl from a small town. Being at pubs, getting some Dutch courage, getting totally jaked at those darty parties, and not least of all out for the count.

Honestly, you're not confident about all those darty party nights with Jace, the negative behaviour of yours, a post-break syndrome after being utterly drunk as you fail to remember the night's episodes. But where you still hung up on is Namjoon never attended such parties, maybe because Jace was with you and protected you? Perhaps he never preferred Jace because of his d2 group in Namjoon's words - douchebag drunkard group, who either would be bathing in alcohol or would be soliciting some women in pubs or frat parties.

So your only best friend wanted to stay off from you and your nerd ex like rigidly stayed away by a country mile.

It's been 5 years since Hyeon's birth which adds, that you never met your ex ever again, what you went through after Jace became acquainted with the fact that you were pregnant, still haunts you. Not that you never wanted Hyeon, but after your ex was subjected to the reality that you were pregnant, he cut all the cords with you. Jace left you, made up the false assumptions in his mind, about you're not pregnant because of him, no, no you recall back to his words by heart - "This ain't my kid, it's your best friend's or whoever you're sleeping with, WHORE!!" The ache earned by the slap of his words is still in your heart, he chuckled, dark eyes wandering over your body, and left. Making all the promises void leaving your heart barren. But you wished for once his words were true, about Namjoon as your child's father.

You look at Hyeon sleeping soundly beside you, he so looks akin to his father by his looks but his heart is purely like Namjoon. He looks so glorious just like sunshine whirled your miserable life into a garden full of lifelike and scented blooms. Jace only gave you awful memories - nightmares, but your baby is the best gift, and besides the tragic past with Jace, everything fades away with Hyeon and Namjoon by your side.

You are grateful to your best friend that he never gave up on you and stayed with you in the rain and shine, life is not always about sunshine and glitters but with him, it really was and still is!!

Whether Namjoon isn't your child's father, he never lets you feel like you would ever need Jace. Driving you to the hospital, discussing your health with her, eyeing your every med, not letting you attend the classes, even writing notes for you. Who so ever will marry him, gonna be a lucky girl, he's the ideal man. You never felt you were a single parent of your child, never. Maybe a father too won't do what he did for you and Hyeon. Honestly even Hyeon never asked about his father, maybe Namjoon's presence was only equal to his father.

Your child's question - on last Saturday's dinner with him, is the clue.

Perhaps, a father figure is important whether you play the mother and father's part in your child's life, there still would be room left.

You do want to confess your feelings to Namjoon. However, at the same time, you do not want to waste his life because of you and your kid.

And even if you envision this, you do get scared what if he said no, or that the room in his heart is already engaged? but it haunts you in case he doesn't reciprocate what you feel for him. That is the reason why you asked about Ji-a that dinner night. What frightens you the most is not being rejected but him distancing himself from you after your confession... That's still okay but you can't see your kid and your best friend staying away because that would be a fate thousand times worse than death.

Your overthinking took the best of you, it's currently 6 am you didn't shut your eyes for a moment. The alarm buzz makes Hyeon a little startle, so you quickly shut it. His tiny arms tighten their grip on your arm. You silently giggle at your baby's movement, as you kiss him on the forehead, ruffling his hair ever so lightly.

He shortly unfolds his eyes, "mom," he softly murmurs.

"Yes, my angel."

"Mom, Joonie will come" he manages to let those words out blinking his eyes to dust away the sleep and watch his mom's face.

"What? Baby sleep for a few more minutes,"

"No, I have to get ready for my school mom, Joonie is coming to pick me up for school," he smiles midst rubbing his eyes from the back of his hand to wipe away the slightest sleep left in his eyes.

"Oh, baby", you hug him tightly leaving kisses all over his face, "but he didn't phone me, baby"

"Mom, Hyeon called him," he points at you, "your phone," he chuckles at your baffled face, "hyeon told him if he will not come to pick me up for school," his eyes are on your night tee button which glitters under the dim light as he toys it, "then Hyeon will find a new best friend."

You chuckle and place a kiss on his forehead, at least your kid isn't like you, save for eating doughnuts and whatever sweet hooks his eyes, let alone unable to keep things in his heart, and you're delighted with him today.

"Then get ready for school."

Hyeon is quick at getting things done, maybe it's Namjoon's influence, sticking around him, eating occasionally sleeping, and repeating, under his friendship, is why he's fitting in the same frame as Namjoon.

It's nearly 8 am you assume, and Hyeon's school time is 9. Hyeon is chomping on grapes, as your eyes are fixated at the entrance of your wee apartment which you could only afford to live in with your baby let alone you have been staying here since you flooded back to Seoul.

You left your main door unlocked for Namjoon, waiting for him, as you're barely focusing on anything else.

There's a knock at the door initially, and your eyes spring instantly from your phone to the direction of the knock followed by a creaking sound of the wooden door being opened.

"Joonieee," Hyeon squeals as he jumps off his skyscraper chair, his voice muffles because of the grape in his mouth.

Namjoon sinks to the floor, and outstretches his arms to hug the kid scurrying toward him, and hugs him tightly placing kisses all over his face and you gush at the scene in front of you, of the two main characters of your life. Their giggles, flood your mini apartment with light and serenity that soothes your heart.

"Piggyback me now," Hyeon whines.

Namjoon giving Hyeon a piggyback... It's a norm between them. When so ever Namjoon visits, he parades straight to Hyeon's room and gives him a piggyback ride to the living room.

Is there anything Namjoon denied Hyeon? No. Hyeon really does know how to bring his friend to his heels.

Will he, right now? Conceivably no!!

Because before you even think of an answer, he gives Hyeon a piggyback ride to the couch.

You glance at him, but he only avoids your gaze. You swore you won't ever poke tease at him about Ji-a or another girl. It was a colossal blunder that evening and the least he could do is flash a smile!?... this is something you didn't save at least he could return a smile to you!! Annoyance bubbles inside you, as you narrow your eyes at him and cross your arms under your soft bosoms, rise.

Fine, he's being tough... Then I'm the toughest.

You parade toward your kitchen to prepare some tea for him and ramen for your baby. This Namjoon is not your best friend anymore, he's Hyeon's best friend now. The way his face glows merely talking to your kid tells a lot. At least for Hyeon's sake, he's here after five days. But why are you jealous? He's only talking to your kid but why is he so low?

They are relaxing on the couch, Hyeon sitting close to Joon.

"Hey Joonie", his soft baby-like voice sounds so dull in the morning.

"Yes, my little angel", remote in his hand and eyes on the TV, surfing Hyeon's favourite movie minions... And probably it's the 50th time today for him watching minions with the kid.

"I do not want to watch a movie", he crosses his arms and knits his brow in unison.

"Why?" Namjoon frowns as his finger halts on the remote button he places it aside because it's so unwonted apathy on Hyeon's face.

Hyeon looks in your direction before speaking, "Promise you won't tell mom!" He impetrates, His eyes zoned out, on the floor, perhaps mind on whatever he's been thinking.

Not wanting to waste a second, Namjoon blurts, "I promise." He leans closer to him, picks him up, and straddles him on his lap. "Tell me"

"My friend Ji-woo, said Geon is her best friend and I'm not." He pouts as he hugs Namjoon burying his face, against his chest.

Namjoon chuckles placing a kiss on his hair he pats Hyeon's back, "this was the serious thing you wanted to tell."

"Yes, she's my very good friend Namjoon," he stretches himself out to catch a glimpse of Namjoon, as he continues, "it's complicated."

He chuckles again, age just five but thinks like a fifty. But at some point, Namjoon too felt the same.

Does he still feel the same after these years?

Does he still love your sapphire eyes, which he fell in love with?

Hyeon's eyes are Sapphire too, and radiant like you.

Does he still want to spend the rest of his life with you even after you are a mother of a child?

Does he need to remind himself why is he still single?

Or is he waiting for someone who perhaps never loved him or will never love him??

"What are you boys chattering ... I too want to know", you asked aloud from the kitchen and startled him the messed-up questions which were already jumbled up are now whirled up like a Bermuda triangle... consuming him.

"Nothing mom, we can't disclose. It's our secret, right Namjoon", Hyeon questions, placing his tiny hand on Namjoon's cheek whilst poking his index on his deep dimples, as Namjoon titters at Hyeon's baby-like voice.

"it's hollow," he scowls, poking both indexes on either of his dimples, "Joonie, your cheeks"

"Heyyyy, told you to call him uncle", you yell at your kid.

And they snubbed you, again babbling about something which now looks suspicious to you, yet you are here in the kitchen preparing tea for Namjoon and ramen for boys.

Whilst yelling at your kid, you burnt your index, as you shriek yanking back your hand, and on spur of the moment, you suck your index - a reflexive response.

He looks at you, standing in the kitchen, face scarlet and a finger in your mouth. With due consideration, he gently places Hyeon on the couch and dashes hotfoot towards you. Taking your hand under his custody, he - on autopilot - sucks your index which was in your mouth a moment ago. His eyes looking darkly, deeply, into your eyes with something unfathomable which you don't understand but gives you wintery shivers down to your spine.

"Ar-- are you mad at me?" You stutter, at the nearness between you two, your heart is pounding at the speed of light years. Oh, my god. You in a jiffy, look at Hyeon, and he's eyeing you two with a scowl on his baffled face, surely he is out of depth. You hastily take a step back.

"PUSHED TO VIOLENCE MAD" he declares, dark eyes still not leaving you, peeping oh-so-wildly into your soul.

"But why", you murmur, managing to choke out, your eyes flutter.

"Where was your damn mind y/n?" He hisses with his gritted teeth, your eyes wandering across his honey tone skin glowing in sunlight that seeps through the window and meets his soft petal-like skin as your hands are hungrily desiring to nuzzle him, craving to feel him.

"Jooniee," Hyeon calls, annoyance dripping from his voice, "what are you two doing there" he quizzes you two, and in a flash look at Joon and a mysterious grin on the corner of his mouth.

"Coming", he let out, looking at you with his sexy grin.

Does he smile like this or it's just you, noticing it right now? He looks handsome today, Is he really single? or not? because of how such a beautiful-young-rich man like him is? how has no one ever proposed to him or approached him? maybe someone must have, surely proposed to him and this idiot would have rejected her like he always had. Namjoon with someone else, this picture in the back of your dense head, who's not you is undeniably painful, your heart is burning with just a mere image of him with someone else! What will happen if that image will pop out someday out of nowhere, what if one day you'll meet the love of his life, who, beyond a shadow of a doubt, is not YOU.

He claps in front of your eyes, "hey, I'm talking to you, where is your mind y/n", as your eyes flutter and instantly you focus on his being.

"Oh, Joon, I'm sorry.... yea maybe I'd take an off from work, today."

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Yea, yea, I'm fine," you nod. "Just drop him today, if that's okay."

"This is what I came for. don't worry." he pauses, "I'm leaving to drop Hyeon to school, okay?" He traces your cheeks with his thumb and nods. "Are you sure, you're fine?"

"Yes 100%." you nod.

He places a gentle kiss on your forehead, a glow of warmth at the junction of your skin, under his touch. he nods, as he parades back to the couch.

"Come on Hyeon, will talk on our way. It's getting late"

"But Joonie your tea and, Hyeon's ramen," you stroll out of the kitchen and hand Hyeon his bento box.

"I'll be back y/n, don't worry about the kid we'll get something on our way!!!" He stretches out his hand towards Hyeon, as he holds his and the boys parade out of the apartment.

You plop down on the couch, and you hear a whisper from your right - what the hell was that y/n, oh my god. What Hyeon will think of you two, no no no.

Then the voice from your left utters - so what Hyeon too want him as someone more than a friend, maybe father.

Yea fair enough.

The voice from your right - do you too want him as Hyeon's father.

Then the voice from your left - Nah, not only as Hyeon's father!

Oh god, shut up!!!

"Joon left his bag here, probably because he's coming back." You, in a tick, remember about the novel you gave him last week, as he said he'll return in 2 days, and as said you two are meeting after a long five days, so you assume he presumably has read it. You lean closer to the bag and pick it up. You open it, searching for your book.

But you find something - more - interesting, which you thought you won't ever find it. It's the same eight years old diary which he used to hide from you, which you, one of those fine days found, not found - honestly, got your hands on, and you were just a second ago that he caught you and took rkive into his possession. It's still the same, just a little scratch on the borders, and you take a sharp intake of breath, it smells like him does he keep it with him, ever?

It's a white diary with dark blue on the south of it, with rkive written in black bold characters just on the top of the blue border.

You open it, the itchiness in your hands to open it right away and read all 500 pages in a shot, you jump over to the last page... He still writes, pages are blank at the end of it. Calm down - the voice inside of your head yells at you, with wide eyes.

Yes, she's right you need to calm your nerves babe, you rise from the couch and make your way to your room. But you halt in the between, catch a glimpse of the diary in your hand... It's wrong to read someone's secret journal.

The voice from your left howls into your ear - it's okay he's not someone for you.

And the voice from your right mumbles into your ear - what if it was your diary in someone's hand?

You pause and veer around to place it back in its place. But you hear a creaking sound of your apartment door, rather than keeping it back into his bag, just after you catch a glimpse of Joon, closing the door behind him, you whirl around - hot foot, and like hell for leather, you strut into your room, you bury the diary under your pillow and parade back to the living room.

"What happened, why are your top pale", he moves closer to you and traces your lips with the bend of his index, his eyes filled with desire are on your lips, he leans down, closer to you, but halts looking back into your eyes, as he shuts his eyes for a second and when he opens, the emotions you saw barely a second ago, faints.

He harrumphs, running his fingers through your hair, eyes not leaving you... But then he traces your lips with the back of his thumb, as he takes the tendrils of your hair around your lips and gently tugs them behind your ear. You shut your eyes, your heart thumping at his touch and a low moan slips your mouth, you angle your head to your left. His eyes land on your exposed neck and he a groan leaves his lips.

He harrumphs again taking a step back from you, "oh, office", eyes everywhere but you.

"Oh, yeah, uh-- I'm not going."

"Are you okay? I mean if you want I can stay with yo--"

"No, I mean I do want you to stay here, with me but you should really go to the office", you nod, a faint smile on your lips, " you should go Joon... I'm fine, if possible do visit again before going to your place."

"Yea I'll. And don't worry about Hyeon... I'll pick him up ok", he places his palm on your cheeks as you nod.

He gives you your favourite, dimpled smile.

And he leaves.

You make your way to your room, plop down on your bed take out his diary to read. It smells homey - the diary smells like cinnamon - like him. Finally, you're diving into his diary. "It's wrong I know but still I want to read it, sorry Joon but if you hadn't snatched it from my hand then possibly I wouldn't be doing this." You puff out a breath.

You open it, and the first page says... "You should not read someone's diary and if you're, then give it back to me and if I'm not there wait for me, I'll presumably come back to find it. Thank you."

You laugh uproariously, actually, you shriek with laughter, "Sorry Joonie I didn't tumble under your trap".

You flick to the next page, "Honestly it's wrong if you're still reading, but if you decide to stick on reading it till the last, then let me tell you something- one -- you can not tell anything to her. Two -- it's going to be exhausting because it's BORING. Thank you".

"WHAT IS THERE IN THIS? now, the chances of me not reading it are zero, Joonie, and blame yourself for this, THANK YOU," you yell.

You turn to the next page, "it's something I never really shared with anyone in my life and maybe will share it in the future with her someday(04.15.2014). Change in plan maybe it'll be just between me and this diary, but I hope to tell her someday okay but genuinely speaking I won't(11.05.2014)."

"Why did he cut that line? 11.05.2014 the day Jace proposed to me!! But what else happened that day, I remember he was with me and was fine too."

P 1: I never imagined writing a diary out of nowhere, but there's a reason why am I writing this.

So, it was my first day at the uni, I saw someone, though I don't know her name, she's the reason I am holding a pen in hand.

"He never spoke to me about someone, and why he didn't wish to let me know?"

P 5: I saw her today, again, she was sitting in the last seat at the corner of the lecture room. I couldn't take my eyes off her. She looked lovely in beige, I really wanted to confess to her, how pretty that colour looks on her, but she's too shy and I couldn't tell her.

A scowl takes its place on your face like a permanent resident. And your heart is thumping now, at his notes.

P 11: I saw her today, she has the most joyful and adorable smile. I was mad about something which right now I don't remember, and she's to blame for that, it's her gorgeous smile.

You flick through the next few pages, and you couldn't wait to know the name of the person he's been writing to, since day 1 of his uni.

P 57: I guess, I like her. She was gazing at me, but when I saw her, she swivelled her head away. Does she feel the same? But the negative point - is we both don't know the names of each other. But I think she knows mine. That day in class, the professor called out my name, so presumably, she knows.

You close the diary, anxiety is eating you up. "He literally wrote every fucking day about that girl."

Then the voice from your left interrupt - read it, maybe, you'll find the girl's name.

You open the diary again.

P 101: 07.24.2014, I'll remember forever more, my heart never jumped like today, and my hands, are still as warm as a hot spring. no... not running a fever.

She just came, more like blew in unexpectedly, I was reading something which all the appreciation goes to her as I can't remember anything, I'm confident.

I asked her to walk with me to the library and on our way, we chatted like we already knew each other, and got wind of the fact that she too is from my hometown.

It felt surreal beside her, never felt like this before, and honestly do not know what it is but maybe this is what I was waiting for my whole life. Don't want to sound sugary but she's the one I want to roll over to in the middle of the night and wake up next to her diurnal. We didn't talk much but I'm clear.

I swear I have never been so sure about something or someone in my entire life

And yes finally got to know her name, y/n, with bright sapphire blue eyes.

You shut the diary with a loud thump, and bring it close to your heart as you shut your burning eyes, a warm tear escapes your eyes. Stupid idiot nerd what not, he deserves every single... Oh, Joonie why didn't you let me know? You open your eyes wiping away your tear with the back of your hand, and you open the book again.

P 130: We just met a few months ago, but feels like we know each other, for a long time. I wish to stay by her side for a lifetime. A smile tingles upon my lips, at the thought of our friendship.

P 139: when my phone's screen lights up with her name, so does my heart and my eyes like sun rays on my face, bestowing nothing but joy.

P 148: I didn't know the meaning of happiness until I met her, her smile warms my soul like a sun in the winter mornings, like a warm blanket on a cold night. Until I saw her and now I'm unable to find a difference.

P 163: today we both visited the library.

I saw a girl over there, sitting in the corner while reading a book. It was raining like heavily, and the content smile on her face was like she finally feels at home, and safe.

I guess y/n, must be my library, my halt from meandering outside in the rain. The home I've been looking for forevermore is beside me.

"I dared myself to read this, if I didn't maybe I wouldn't get the heed of not only his but my feelings too. He sure is dumb, but I'm not. He sure took years and maybe will take forever to let it out, I won't and I can't. But before that, I need to know what he feels about me now."

P 178: we went to the cafe today, and she looked pretty in that beige dress.

I have been praying for her, for what feels like forever!!

P 196: Everyone told me I deserve better, it was okay for everyone else to say. But she too said it, she murmured into my ear, when we were in class, that I deserve better and Ara is fine. The funny thing is I don't even know who Ara is! I know, I deserve better, but I don't want better. I want her.

P 204: Oh, now I feel there's no need to even write ever again in this diary. She was the light in my dark life. She who was the sun to my winter mornings is now with someone else, yes she deserves better. It's my mistake I should have confessed.

P 205: writing after 3 years, just to keep this memory between the pages. She told me she was pregnant, and I'm more than happy.

P 263: what is tougher than a human heart, which shatters over and over and regardless of pain still lives. I'm the evidence. He left her yet her heart yearns for him.

P 278: Today we visited the doctor for her routine check-up. She said she isn't willing to have this baby and honestly it broke me to pieces. I wish I could tell her how much I love her and want not only her but her baby too. I wish to love them till my last breath.

Why I overlooked, his affection. How can I be so stupid?

You recall your memories, of when you were pregnant.

"I'm just a call away y/n, can call me at 3 in the morning I'll be there, please do not stress over things that weren't meant to be."

Just one call of yours used to shake him up. You two visited the doctor together even though you told him to stay off, pushed him away because it was your problem you wanted to deal with it alone, yet he never left your side.

"I'm not leaving, I can't see you like this, alone at this deserted apartment, where you two lived.... No y/n you're coming with me, I have a spare room at my place. I'll be content seeing you safe next to me."

"Joon I'm okay, really, I can stay he--"

"No, you're coming with me."

Even stayed up with you for nights, didn't let you attend the classes, wrote not only his but your notes too, and fought for you when you weren't there.

Took proper care, he even memorized your meds on the tongue and learned the dates of your routine check-ups, fruits, soups, juice every other basic need of yours, was his command. He did everything that a father should do, which perhaps is the only justification for why he loves Hyeon so much.

Nights when you cried over your ex, yet lied to him, that this is only a hormonal reaction but a little did you know about him, but he sure knew every reason behind your genuine or phoney smile, every single reason behind your single teardrop.

"Listen y/n, I know I have been reciting this for months but here again I'm going to say, this time not for you for ours. I -- I mean you-- your baby. I-- I want you to be strong y/n. You're going to be a mother but crying like an infant." He wipes away your tears whilst leaning to kiss you but halts and ruffles your hair.

"Heyyy Joonie", you hit his chest.

"No, but seriously, do you want me to kill that nerd? See y/n I can!! and I'll if you allow me. I'm very much y'know skilled, uh competent, even proficient," he sums his abilities on his fingers, and you giggle at his naivety, "not lying I hold a black belt in Judo and earned one in Karate too, he doesn't stand a chance in front of your best friend", he dusts off his palms as of stroking off dirt and crosses his arms around his chest.

"So dramatically proud you are, Joon", Now you're laughing uproariously, in reflex your hand finds its purchase on your middle, and he instantly notices.

"Hey, are you okay?" he immediately holds you, his eyebrows furrowed at your hand's gesture, but you're still laughing.

"Joon, I'm really fine, you should have actually played Mr. bean. where were you back then?"

"Was probably waiting for your landing."

"I love your face glowing with that peaceful smile y/n, do not cry over some nerd. I'm here with you today, what if someday, I'm not there beside you, to wipe away your tears, which merely shed but if they do, the sole reason is men." You hit his shoulder, "stop it Joonie we're friends till the end, do you get it you asshole? don't you dare say that shit again."

But he wants his last sleep beside you, his last breath beside you. His ever so firsts to be by your side and ever so lasts by your side, this is what he feels for you.

"And do you know, your taste in men is horrible, I don't trust you in that process?"

"I HATE YOU KIM NAMJOON."

You look down with teary eyes, p 278, and you skip to p380.

P 380: she deserves every star in her life, to glitter for her the way my eyes sparkle for her.

P 485: feels like we are two stars floating in the universe, yet light years away. She sure is with me but feels like those two stars, babbling on either side of the moon, neither I can reach where she is, nor she can where I'm. But, my heart cherishes every second, every moment, every single breath with her. I wish stars could collide someday, and we'll meet eventually.

P 525: a week to go, I told her it's a boy, and she said no.

P 540: It's a boy, we named him Hyeon. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever love my kid as I love Hyeon. And he has Sapphire eyes like his mom, another reason to love him even more.

You heard the clanking sound coming from your living room you shut the diary, wipe away your tears and hide it under your pillow.

You strut out of your room, "Oh you guys are back." And in the twinkling of an eye, you felt your cheeks warm, when Namjoon's eyes meet yours, like all the blood rushing up to your cheeks.

Perhaps your friends were always right about you two - that you two would make an aesthetically pleasing couple.

"Hey, come here,"

Heat pooling in the pits of your stomach, you sure did feel all of this before, but to be precise you're catching every reaction of your body, now. Those three words are just not mere words, they did something to you, the warmth between your legs is the evidence of those three words. You are eyeing him, hungrily, stop drooling you fucking idiot.

"Mom do you remember, it's Joonie's birthday tomorrow."

"No, Hyeon your mom won't--"

"Yes baby I know, there's something for him," you look at him, "will you stay with us today?"

He looks into your eyes, the glow in them, which he purely saw for Hyeon, is it for him? his brows knit together, "yes anything for you," he pauses eyes wandering across your face, "you two."

Your kid is smarter than you, when you secretly told him you need to prepare a cake for his birthday, he told you his plan, which is why they both went out, and here you're placing the cake inside the refrigerator.

You know he won't take a step forward, it's only you who could do such bravery. It's his birthday and a new start to every perfect day.

You make your way to your room to find a perfect dress for his birthday night.

You're wearing a black cold shoulder ruched flounce sleeve bodycon dress, the silk fabric just ends at the curve of your cheeks, and you complete it with a black thong and yes no bra today. It's normal for you to doll yourself up, whenever you three move out, for dinner, parties, or friends' weddings. But today is, no normal day because you have never spread out as far as to shave, lest yknow.

Brushing out your tangles, your makeup is tastefully done as you're touching up some lipstick - let aside hungrily awaiting for him to smear it, spraying some perfume all over your body, you bolt out of your room. looking around your living room, to be precise it seemed hideous barely an hour ago and now it's looking nothing but cheerful as you beautifully decked out your place with balloons on the floor which you assure Hyeon would low-key love more than your birthday boy, with a cake on the table in the middle of the living room.

There's a rattling sound of keys behind the door, and you know they're here. The front door opens, and you find Hyeon and Namjoon, standing at the door, Hyeon couldn't help but claps at the decor his eyes twinkles at the sight of balloons all over the floor, as he lets go of Joon's hand and take off to pick the balloons, but what you take a gander at Namjoon, not saying much but you can tell, he could cry any moment, he's eyeing the whole room, then looking at you, your heart is beating at light year.

He makes his way to you, "there are still three hours left for my birthday", his eyes wander across your body, and you silently praise the lord for the dress you found in your closet.

"Yes, I know Joonie, but Hyeon is really excited about your birthday, and in an hour you'll find him out for the count," you both laugh, looking at him playing with the balloons, his chuckle is canorous to your ear filling your apartment.

"Fair enough", he paused, "by the way you-- you're looking gorgeous y/n"

Three cheers finally my man noticed, "oh, thank you, I thought you won't ever notice."

"you already think so low of me, y/n," you see a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"if so, what else do you like about me then," without a shadow of a doubt, you take a step towards him, as he too leans closer to you.

"Mom, I love the cake, it's looking yummy." You look at your baby.

"Oh, did you forget about Hyeon", he grins, teasing you to the core.

"Isn't it obvious today?" you take a step back.

"y/n are you flirting." he takes a gander at you and smiles mischievously.

"No", you stand tiptoe and lean closer to his ear, and warmly without qualms, "wanna be your sugar baby", you puff out a warm breath that gives chills down to his south as his tool twitches, "this is what I call is - flirting, Mr Kim, and I strongly believe you should take some classes, yknow? from me!!" you take a step back and make your way to your kid, who could sleep any moment.

you meet Namjoon's eyes, as he shares a knowing look, that he should probably slice the cake, "Hey my baby angel, would you cut the cake with me", he asks Hyeon.

"yess" Hyeon cheers excitedly.

You three celebrated his birthday like you have been doing for years now.

As you foretold, Hyeon is now in deep slumber. you pick him up, "uh-- you can sleep in my room--"

"No, I'll sleep with him today if that's okay with you?"

"Yea sure"

it's 1am, and you're tossing and turning, unable to sleep at the thought of Namjoon sleeping under the same roof, just a few meters away.

You are wearing a red drop shoulder belted satin lounge robe, with a matching thong and no bra. Craving for his touch makes you nothing but more frustrated, and your mouth dry.

you pick up your mobile, this should end today, he's an epitome of shyness, you want him deep yet harsh inside you, and you're seconds away to strut out of your room and dashing inside the room next to yours, and straddling his saddle, but you can't he's sleeping with your baby. So, you just text him to check if he's still awake.

you 1:10 am- I have a little secret, which I think, you should know.

Joon 1:11 am- you still awake? And what secret?

You 1:13 am- yes, and looks like we're awake for the same reason. And about that secret. Check your bag perhaps you should be missing something.

Joon 1:20 am- did you swipe away my diary from the bag, when I was away from home? Don't you dare read it!!!

You 1:22 am- over and done with it.

Joon 1:26 am- I'm sorry it was all in the past y/n, I promise it's nothing like that now.

You 1:27 am- SAD. Perhaps I'm alone in this.

Joon 1:29 am- you too?

Joon 1:29 am- I mean you too feel what I feel for you?

Joon 1:30 am- you don't understand how much I feel for you y/n, if you're playing the clown then don't.

You 1:34 am- save for I'm not, and there's something I low-key want you to know beforehand if you do feel for me. Joon there's nothing behind the scenes, I, yknow I cry often even if Hyeon gets some silly injury, though he laughs, and I'm the one who cries. I cry over things that have hurt me in the past, or things I'm so in love with. Yknow I'm afraid of being left, afraid of not being good enough, a good mother, a good daughter, and a good friend. I can actually count millions of things that I feel hostility toward myself. If we're going to be a thing in the future you should know that even if you'll tell me you love me countless times, I'll still be afraid of you leaving me. Jace broke my heart into bits, just don't blame yourself.

There's a knock at your bedroom door, he slides it open when he finds it unlocked. He peeps inside before entering, entering your room he looks at you, "y/n when will you, stop thinking so low about yourself", his eyes hungrily wander across your body, and you find him in waist shorts.

His eyes travel to your hardened peaks covered with red satiny material which he wants to slip you out from it, he harrumphs distracting himself, but something catches his eyes, his eyes travel along your smooth long legs on display and halt at your sheer red thong.

"I uh--" he looks away from your figure, eyes on the floor filled with serene moonlight, "y/n, nobody's perfect, even I'm not, you know every deep and dark arcane of my past..... I'm here to tell you that I don't care, I fell in love with you, not with your perfection. Since I fell in love, since then I love every crack in your skin and all your freckles. I didn't meet someone like you," he looks back at you, as he walks closer to you and settles beside you taking a hold of your hand in his, he places a soft kiss on the back of your hand.

"I'm grateful," you take out the diary, "that I found this," and hand him.

"Oh thank you I thought I won't get it back.... and did you just say found? Really?"

"Yaahhhh!!"

"I probably wasn't going to because of the perfumes it holds of its owner, but seems like my bed would smell like him from now on, so it's fair enough to return it, no?"

He gives you his coy smile as he nods, "rather my bed will smell like you because I won't let you and our kid stay here," he parks a soft kiss on your forehead, "and what are we going to tell Hyeon?"

"That we accepted his proposal and now he'll call his best friend his dad!" You chuckle.

In a shot, he looks at you, a puzzled look blanketing his face, "I still can't believe this, that all these years you too felt the way I feel for you, why you didn't you --"

"Same question I'm hurling on you," your eyes are hungrily tracing his lips as you tightly grip the sheet under your fist and he notices you.

Without losing away any minute he leans close to you, smacking his lips on yours as your breath hitches at his sudden whirlwind of ardor, as his strong arms wrap around your waist, holding you tightly against his body and in a trice, he straddles you on his lap whilst kissing you breathlessly. your moan melts away into his mouth. you clung onto him, arms tangled around his neck.

His hand at the small of your back roughly snakes under your red satin robe. he slides his hand inside your thong, your skin flush at his touch, digging his nails into your cheeks for support. he's gently kissing you without letting you go but oh so rough on your body. sucking his lower lip, as you slowly tug his lip between your teeth leaning back to bruise it. you both moved apart breathlessly panting, hungrily looking into each other's eyes, travelling back to lips. you fiddle with the hem of his shirt, hiking it up, he's smirking looking at your eyes hungrily savouring his exposed chest.

you feel him grow under your heated core. he tugs at your robe belt as it slips down and pools around your butt. his sinful eyes filled with lust darkly eye your bosoms, he tenderly gropes your breast, he cranes his neck a little, enveloping your buds between his lips flicking it with his tongue as he takes it between his teeth, playfully biting it, your grip on his shoulder tightens dipping nails into his skin.

moans escaping from your lips making him groan, his warm breath hitting your bosom sending tingles on your skin, he places his palm gently over your lips and hushes you, "if you don't want to wake up our kid," retracting his hand from your lips, our kid that word did something like something incomplete is now perfectly complete.

He gently hurls you on the bed, you want to feel his body, you want him to kiss every inch of your skin, bite you and bruise you, your drunk eyes watch him, pulling down his waist shorts, freeing his shaft. He grabs his shaft using his large hands, and jerks himself for few times indirectly letting you know to get ready, low groans peep from his lips.

You gape at your man seductively, how he jerks his member in his hand, growing harder in his hold your stomach turns at his hard length. Fucking his fist in a pace, eyes never leaving you as he smirks at you drooling over his hard shaft. The urge inside you to take him in deep inside you, and fuking him much - very much better.

As he shoves his free hand between your legs, he spreads them apart.

He parks himself between your legs. His eyes on your bruised bosom with hickeys only make him want to bruise them more. He hooks his finger to the waistband of your thong and slides it down, your breath hitches at your exposed body in front of him as you close your eyes in self-consciousness, he gasps at his sight and leans down taking a lungful of your flavour as he parks a wet kiss on your heated - bare - wet pussy "beautiful" he murmurs.

His hands travel from your knees slowly to your lips, as he traces your delicate skin and dips his thumb in your slick, a low moan escapes your lips before you bite them to melt them inside your lips, "Joon, I can't wait, fuck me, baby", your voice seems to lower, sounding more like smooth whiskey and he knows you're only trying to make it hard for him.

"You want me to fuck your tight pussy, raw, that desperate huh!!"He parts your slit, as he flicks his tongue between your sensitive lips. "Don't you know how much I waited for you," without wasting another second he grabs your knees stretching them out for him, as your pussy slit opens. He grabs his hard cock, rubbing it.

Waiting for him to fuck you, you grab one of your bosoms and knead it desperately in your hold. He bends a little as his hands slide under your ass and grab them angling you for his cock, he slowly buries his shaft and your eyebrow furrow as he moves deeper and deeper inside you and halts drinking in your expressions.

He slightly pulls back then stops, and again pulls back eyeing you, "if you want, we can stop it right now baby", he leans down closing the distance between you two, his hands on either side of your head, and place a soft kiss on your forehead, you instantly open your eyes looking at him, his lips just an inch away from your lips, "no, I want you right now.... No more distance between us Joon," your hands cupping his nape to draw him closer as you park a soft peck on his lips.

He digs his fingers back into your flash, and retreats, slamming his dick back into you, as you whimper in pain, a tear escapes from your eyes. Glitters of sweat on his forehead under the dim light of your bedroom, doing no justice to how gorgeous your man is. Not only on his forehead but his chest too, deliciously sweaty. Seeing him on your top, your pussy clenches around his hard length, "baby", he groans dipping his head on the nape of your neck the warm breath breaking out goosebumps over your skin.

He doesn't stop now, his cock throbbing to match the crazy throbbing of his heart, arching your back you dip your head back into the pillow, "fuck Joon, shit.... Yeahhh babyy", you moan out loud, as he quickly kisses you nipping your lips to bite your moans.

He leans back, "baby, Hyeon wi--"

"Fuck me harder Joon," you murmur, breathlessly.

Without wasting any time, he's ramming his dick into your tight pussy again, as you grip the sheets under your skin.

The way he's making you feel, you never felt like this ever in your life though it's the first time after Jace, he too never made you as incredible as him. The way his hips are in a rhythm against yours, the pleasure making you clench around his length.

"I wanted you for so long y/n," he groans, pounding into you. "You are mine y/n, and I belong to you," your walls only clench tighter around his shaft, enveloping perfectly around his thick length.

"Yes, Joon, only you... Us baby" your breath hitches, looking at his dark eyes, you're close and you know he too is.

He groans as his knees buckle, striving to keep up the merciless rhythm, "should have confessed, before him but now I won't waste any minute", his words are only causing your walls to spasm and contract, fire in your abdomen with his words making your way to your peak.

"You can do this baby", he coos tracing your cheeks with his thumb. He could feel you close.

As your climax is near, your hips stutter against him, desperately, creating the heat and friction for the feelings and bringing you closer to your peak. You're writhing under him when you hit your orgasm, you're so wet that his thick shaft is easily sliding in and out of your pussy.

He's pushing into you inch by inch, massaging your walls slowly. He covers your mouth to hush you before emptying inside you, as your clenching walls only cause him to come inside you and fill you up to the rim.

He softens inside you, as he dips his head into the crook of your neck.

"happy birthday baby, I love you", you kiss his earlobe, panting heavily.

"I love you more..... the best birthday," he pulls back, looking deeply into your eyes, "can"t wait to see the joy in our baby's eyes".

you both chuckle, and there's a knock on the door, "oh, shit" you murmur.

Namjoon only chuckles, "seems like this is the time".

© 𝐥𝟎𝐦𝐥𝐣𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟐 - 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲/ 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭/ 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞. All rights reserved.

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[comradekatara]

with another atla revival on its way (I hate Netflix) I’m starting to see “shipping wars” again and I’m hating/fighting for my life with all these z*tara shippers. I guess, for me, people who ship them together fundamentally don’t understand or even like Katara and yet they will hail themselves as the only people who get her (in what universe…) and claim that Zuko would have treated her infinitely better than Aang (I can’t with people). I’ve had a look on your page and FAQ and I think we share the same thoughts on the ship with the whole coloniser x colonised aspect (this is not to say I don’t like Zuko, but still). I guess what I’m asking is do you think these people get her as a character? ALSO finding out that the comic book writer shipped them and broke up Mai and Zuko made me feel some type of way.

i like how you said “on its way” only 22 hours ago (as of 2/29) despite the fact that natla fully came out a week ago. that said, i still haven’t seen it, so in my mind it also doesn’t exist (at least until i do actually watch it tomorrow). also, for what it’s worth, i do think that breaking up zuko and mai is the right call, it’s just that the execution was fucking awful, because gene yang cannot write for shit and doesn’t understand these characters. but it’s also really funny that he apparently ships zvtara (like, that tracks) but also their only prominent one-on-one interaction in the comics is when he physically restrains her…. lol. lmfao even.

as for the way zvtara shippers talk about katara and aang it truly is bonkers insane the lengths they’ll go and the reaches they’ll make to justify why their personal preference is, in fact, morally correct. i mean, intellectually correct is one thing, because i believe in making a persuasive argument and citing your sources, but morally correct??? they’ll act like aang is some awful toxic misogynist (yes, i know) and that zuko is in fact a paragon of support and respect for women. when we’ve all seen firsthand how he behaves as mai’s boyfriend (sidenote: the fact that they’ll claim that MAI is the one who is “abusive” to ZUKO is crazy. people hate women so fucking much it’s unreal).

in terms of how they discuss katara, it’s not so much the fact that the ship is literally colonizer/colonized (although it is), but the way that shippers deliberately play into these colonial biases and dynamics when portraying them. i actually think had zvtara shippers not been egregiously racist about it for so long, i wouldn’t really mind the ship itself. like, they are very obvious narrative foils who parallel each other in many ways and their arcs are inextricably bound up in each other and incredibly meaningful to both of them. i can understand why people read katara touching his scar in the catacombs or zuko jumping in front of lightning to save her as romantic. not my personal cup of tea, but like. it’s not NOT there. i don’t even object to people calling them soulmates tbh, because like. yeah. they are???

however. the complete lack of understanding as to what colonialism is or how it functions (ive literally seen ppl say that zuko isn’t a colonizer bc he never personally occupies territory, as if he didn’t BURN DOWN SUKI’S VILLAGE, and that the swt was colonized by the fn because they don’t explicitly occupy land like they do in the ek) really pervades the (romantic) interpretation of this dynamic as i’ve observed it over the years. a lot of katara in fire nation reds, as “fire lady,” abandoning her culture for zuko’s sake (despite this apparently being egregiously problematic when katara does this for aang’s sake). one time i came across a literal pocahontas au?!?!?? like. it’s SO dire.

and beyond the very obvious racism, the way they paint shipping zvtara as feminist and progressive is insane because, as you say, they do hate katara. i don’t know how to explain to these people that sanding down all her flaws and turning her into this angelic maternal endless well of compassion and emotional labor means you don’t actually like her character as it is presented in canon. acting as if katara lacks flaws (she is, in fact, deeply flawed) or so much more mature than the rest of her friends and must suffer that burden every day (hint: she’s not and she doesn’t) until the noble zuko comes along and is so gracious towards her and her alone (he’s literally the most immature of the lot, screams and whines at her, and at everyone) is just. a really impressive amount of editorializing. and they turn aang and sokka into these whiny, idiotic babies to justify that decision, as if aang and sokka are not highly intelligent, wise, capable, and responsible in their own right.

katara and zuko are in fact flawed in similar ways. they’re both impulsive, self-righteous, stubborn, myopic, callous, and filled with an unquenchable, blinding rage. it’s clear that when they are aligned in that rage, their dysfunction feeds into each other and they block the rest of the world out to satisfy their impulses. katara is able to pull back at the last moment in “the southern raiders” in a beautiful culmination of her internal character arc, but the entire build-up to this moment sort of showcases the ways in which they might not be great for each other as a couple. but people will do some incredible mental gymnastics to explain why they are nonetheless always right about everything, and why aang and sokka are always wrong and don’t understand katara at all. also, fwiw, reducing “the southern raiders” to who is right vs who is wrong when it’s actually about how various characters approach and process their grief in a deliberately subjective way is just. god. exhausting. i’m exhausted.

the thing about atla is that it is a well-written show, especially as far as its main characters are concerned. katara is so dear and special to me specifically because she is allowed to be so flawed and three dimensional and realistically human. and ignoring zuko’s myriad flaws means ignoring the depth that apparently makes him the most interesting character to 90% of atla fans. there really isn’t a need to editorialize and reduce canon to fit a neat little narrative, when the narrative that already exists is just. already really solid. and the thing is, i don’t even think you should have to change canon all that much to justify this ship, because it’s one of the central dynamics of the entire show. and yet, people still do. they really do. so i think that’s telling, don’t you?

#sl1mshadii #asks #hot takes #putting this under a cut bc i don’t want to be put on a list -_- #(even tho i know i already am) #also sidenote before anyone is like ‘but what about’ I AM ALSO NOT A FAN OF COLONIAL DYNAMICS WHEN IT’S ZVKKA. OBVIOUSLY #as ive stated before countless times . lol

[merakiui]

MERA!!! the amount of brainrots you would get from the nrc and rsa rivalry. chenya, trey and riddle have a certain friendly rivalry but even at that, i doubt they can continue being 'friendly' over darling OR rielle against azul and the tweels. gosh what if rielle asked darling/prefect out on a date but the octatrio make it a goal to sabotage them only to keep failing because of how optimistic he is despite many mishaps. pathetic tako is crying at rielle HOW CAN HE LAUGH EVEN AFTER PREFECT AND HIM GOT THEIR BOAT KNOCKED OVER!!

floyd would be grinding his teeth while jade's formulating murder plans

Yes yes!!!! I love the NRC and RSA rivalry thoughts omg!!! With Riddle, Trey, and Che'nya, I can imagine the latter always appearing at the worst moments. Maybe Trey's spending a day baking with you and it's such a serene, special moment that's promptly interrupted when Che'nya pops into existence and decides to give himself the role of taste-tester. Trey's thrown a little off balance after that. How can he possibly rizz you up if Che'nya's stealing your attention by juggling the silverware? He has his one parlor trick (paint the roses) and that's it. It's impressed you many times before, but how can he compete with the silliness that is Che'nya?

It's more fun to mess with Riddle, which is why Che'nya often comes to disturb him when he's with you. Che'nya loves to tease Riddle about you and Riddle will adamantly insist it's nothing. You're his friend, nothing more (a bad lie). Che'nya just smiles like he knows something Riddle doesn't. All of his teasing is lighthearted and good-natured; Che'nya wouldn't do anything truly mean to his friends. Although the game of love is slightly different than the game of friendship. And it's obvious all of them like you. Che'nya likes to push you and Riddle closer together when he's invisible and then appear at just the right moment to pretend like he's stumbled upon you and Riddle being so close and cute. T_T Riddle knows it's him every time, which makes it even worse when he begins to anticipate it. Sometimes he's relieved Che'nya gives him little pushes. Riddle couldn't muster the courage to confront his own feelings for you no matter how hard he tries, so sometimes Che'nya is an unintentional wingman.

And Rielle... he's too optimistic, which means no matter how many outings are sabotaged he'll continue to see the good in it. When the twins tip your boat over and you and Rielle end up having even more fun, they're nearly going insane. How is one merman so happy?! Why is he so optimistic? So many dates (Azul insists they're dates; he sees the way Rielle looks at you... >:( he knows.) have been ruined and yet Rielle never seems upset. Neither do you. It's even worse if the boat incident prompts Rielle to transform into his mer form so that he can better help you if you're a weak swimmer or don't know how to swim at all. Azul just cannot win no matter how hard he tries.

And then Rielle invites you to come to the Coral Sea with him and it's as if that inflicts the most damage upon the Octavinelle trio. T_T an entire week spent in the Coral Sea with Rielle, where you don't know much of mer customs and culture. An entire week. With Rielle. At the palace. With Rielle. Where you'll rely on him to show you around, to introduce you to other mers, to help you with communication and interaction. And you'll likely be given a temporary transformation potion so Rielle gets to see you in a mer form. It's the worst possible outcome when you say yes, seeming so excited. The trio are kicking themselves wondering why they didn't just invite you sooner. orz now they're going to spend a week in the Coral Sea because there's no way they're letting Rielle rizz you up under the sea (they genuinely fear it'll work ;;;).

#twisted chit chat