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mythgirlimagines · 3 years

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ANON-CORRECT QUOTES

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Sparkle: (gazing at her tablet in amazement) TH-THAT’S…

Fusion: (staring at Sparkle’s tablet, rubbing his sleeves happily) Oh! That’s the ending theme for the new season of that magical girl anime!

Sparkle: (shocked) WHAT?! ARE YOU WATCHING THIS SERIES TOO?!

Fusion: (smiling, clenching his hands together) Yes! I’ve been watching it since I was little!

Sparkle: (stimming with her cape, about to burst with happiness)

Sparkle: (talking quickly, in infodump mode) DID YOU SEE EPISODE 29 OF THE LAST SEASON?! JACKAL TRIED TO SACRIFICE THEMSELVES BY THROWING THEMSELVES INTO THE MAGMA, BUT THEN COSMOS EMBRACED THEM TIGHTLY!

Fusion: (rubbing his fingers together happily) Yes! It was truly hot!

Source: Love Live! Nijigasaki School Idol Club!

Video Source: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lpH7lhfFz4)

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(In the library…)

Nerd: (angrily) SCAR! Stop trying to summon demons in the library! The rest of us can’t study unless you SHUT THE **** UP!

Scar: Hmph! Foolish mortals! And if you want me to cooperate, you’d all better stop calling me “Scar”!

Purple: Was that not the cognomen administered to you during neoteny?

Scar: That is the name my foolish temporary guardians gave me! I’d like to be called by my true name, “The Demon of Life”!

Nerd: (exasperated) Oh god!

Source: South Park

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(Context: Eldritch finally gave in to Myth’s puppy dog eyes, and decided to spill the beans on his romantic preferences)

Eldritch: I j-just w-want to d-d-date someone dep-depen-dependable!

Eldritch: L-Like, like, someone who is willing to pr-protect me n-n-no matter wh-what!

Eldritch: They d-don’t have to be per-perfect! A-Ac-Actually, I’d p-prefer if they weren’t! It’d give us the ch-chance to grow to-together!

Eldritch: Th-they’d be super r-romantic w-with us, whether it’s in p-private or in p-p-p-public! S-Someone who really kn-knows h-how to tr-treat a p-person!

Eldritch: L-Like I was a fr-frail and fr-fragile pri-prince! And they w-were my p-personal knight!

Eldritch: Oh! And they’ll m-maybe have sh-shaggy hair! So, I can run my f-fingers through it while th-they are s-sleeping! Th-That’ll be c-c-cute too!

Myth: (fangirling like mad) Aww, Ritchie! You are literally describing Dream right now!

Eldritch: (frightened at Myth’s accuracy) W-W-W-WHAT?! N-N-NO! I-I’M N-N-NOT!

Dream: (running past Myth and Eldritch, chasing Wyre in a dragon hoodie, while wielding a wooden sword and plastic helmet) I shall slay thee and claim my young master back!

Wyre: (growling) In your dreams, crude knight!

Wyre/Dream: (starting to play fight)

Eldritch: Uhhh…..I-I re-retract the kn-knight statement!

Myth: (smirking) It’ll still be Dream.

Eldritch: (angry) Dang it!

Source: Barely Passable K-On Quotes

Post Source: (https://incorrect-k-on-quotes.tumblr.com/post/161904806233/mio-i-just-want-to-date-someone-dependable-you)

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Fusion II: (working her dream job at the library)

Iris: (excitedly running into the library) Hey hey hey! What’s up, Two?

Fusion II: Oh! Hey, Iris. What can I do for you?

Iris: Do you have any books on turtles?

Fusion II: (holding up a bunch of books) Hardbacks?

Iris: Yes! With little heads too!

Fusion II: (slowly dying inside at her own accidental pun)

Source: Unknown

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Wet Sock: (whittling down a long stick)

Egg: What are you making?

Wet Sock: (angry) A pointy stick to stab all you people with!

Egg: (grinning) Well, why don’t you just use your knife?

Wet Sock: (drops the stick and pulls out their collection of knives)

Source: Suite Life On Deck

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Janon: What are you doing?

Curious: (holding a rose) Smelling a rose.

Janon: Pssh! Weird!

Janon: (under his breath) I wish I was that rose.

Curious: What?

Janon: (blushing hard) I SAID YOU’RE GROSS!

Source: Vine

Video Source: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1z6rpmQxKRw)

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Sparkle: (on One’s computer) I HAVE GOT SPOTIFY OPEN RIGHT NOW ON YOUR COMPUTER! DO YOU WANT ME TO BLAST YOU? DO YOU WANT ME TO PUT YOU ON BLAST, FOR I HAVE GOT YOUR HISTORY RIGHT HERE IN THE SIDEBAR?

Sparkle: (slowly getting more and more frantic) “A THOUSAND KNOCKS” BY JUNKO ENOSHIMA! “HELL-ICOPTER” BY JUNKO ENOSHIMA! “PUPPET GIRL” BY JUNKO ENOSHIMA! “ROCKET PANTS” BY JUNKO ENOSHIMA! “THE LAST HIGH KING” BY JUNKO ENOSHIMA! “THE ARCADE RABBIT” BY JUNKO ENOSHIMA! “DANGAN ISLAND” BY JUNKO ENOSHIMA!

Sparkle: (incredulous) WHAT IN THE NAME OF ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER HAPPENED TO YOU?!

One: (lying through his teeth) I’ve just had a case of the Mondays.

Sparkle: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU FRICKING POSSESSED?! YOU USED TO BE MY ENTERTAINMENT PARTNER!

One: (not backing down) I’ve had a case of the Mondays.

Source: My Brother, My Brother, And Me

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I hope you enjoy this week’s batch of quotes! Let me know if they are accurate at all! And don’t forget to subscribe to “Papa Fusion’s Anon-Correct Quotes! (2021 Edition)”

-Fusion Anon

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okay that last one XD

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ask-mrradiodemon · 4 years

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Opening Up to You - Chapter 1

Summary: Angel is a barista at a small café, and he absolutely hates the opening shift. That is, until he meets the morning regular. Ao3 Link

Warnings: None

No one likes the opening shift of any job that has one. It means extra tasks, it means waking up early, and it means losing the morning and middle of the day to work. Anthony was no exception to that. He needed his beauty sleep, and heading to the café at 6 am certainly didn't allow for much of that with his side job in the evenings. First time opening alone was the worst of it all, because you werent comfortable and it took so fucking /long/-

Anthony sighed, taking the key out of his pocket to open the front door, making sure to lock it behind him as well. He didn't need people coming in yet, to hell with their actual hours. People could wait to get their caffeine fix for another 20 minutes.

As usual coming in, Anthony shrugged off his jacket and tossed it behind the counter, just out of sight where he could hang it up properly later. It didnt take long for him to notice the list of tasks propped up next to the register, and he grabbed it to take a look.

1. Spray down and clean all outside windows 2. Count the money in the register to make sure its the same as last night 3. Stock up straws, napkins, and any other supplies needed 4. Bring out the baked goods and put them in the display case 5. Clean out the coffee machine and start a fresh batch

The list went on and on. By the time he'd finished reading it, the shop should have been opened up and ready. But with no desperate people lined up at the door, Anthony decided he didnt really fucking care right now, and went behind the counter to check the register first. Everything was tedious, but at least he didn't have to sweep and mop and disinfect the bathrooms like he did for closing shift.

The windows were saved for last, as easily the most boring thing he had to do. Only when he had the spray bottle and paper towels in hand did he notice someone at the front door, waving to get his attention. Shit. Anthony tossed the supplies aside and ran to the door to unlock it, just praying that this dude wasn't some kind of Karen that would rat him out for shutting him out.

"Sorry 'bout that, just working on getting everything all set for this morning. What can I help ya with today?"

The bright red haired individual just gave an awkward smile, approaching the counter in toe behind Anthony. "Apologies, didn't mean to disturb your work... Just needed a large black to go, quick energy boost."

/Thank fuck/, at least this guy's order was easy.

"Comin' up, and your name?"

"Right, sorry. Alastor, dear."

The name was simply a formality, considering there was no one else in the whole café to mix him up with. But writing the name down on the cup, Anthony glanced up to actual look this stranger in the face for the first time.

The scarlet hair was easily the most notable thing about him, anyone could spot that a mile off. But there were other things that stood out to Anthony, like his thin rounded glasses or the freckles scattered on his cheeks, the professional, stiff stance that fit in with the dress shirt and tie this man was wearing. He stuck out like a sore thumb in a place like this. But hell, he sure was pretty damn cute.

Anthony quickly turned around to pull his eyes away from the almost-stranger, filling up the large cup with black coffee. He almost left it at that, but... Why the fuck not, what does he have to lose? He picked up the sharpie again, drawing a few small hearts next to his name and a badly scrawled phone number before ringing up the drink

. "Presumably $3.79 I assume?"

Anthony glanced down to the register and sure enough, that was the exact total, and Alastor was already handing him exact change.

"You must come 'round here pretty often, huh? Haven't seen you before."

"Yes, well I usually come in either at opening or just after. I think having someone who isn't in a terrible mood be the first customer really brightens up a day. After all, these opening shifts aren't anyone's first choice..."

Anthony actually smiled at that as he printed off the receipt and finished dropping coins in the drawer. "Yeah, well it's not perfect... But hey, if we get to see someone like you every mornin', might just be worth it."

Alastor kept a somewhat unreadable expression, though the rising pink on his cheeks was obvious enough as he took his drink and began to walk off. "Thanks for your time, darling. May see you around."

Anthony waited for him to read the name on the cup, to see what he'd written. Even if it came back as a rejection, he just wanted to see the reaction he would get.

That moment didn't come. Because, tired as he was, Alastor drank the entire thing in one breath and tossed the cup away without a second glance, waving goodbye again as the door's bell rang on his way out.

Well... Maybe he was just extra exhausted today. At least he knew if nothing else, he'd be able to see this guy again as a regular customer. The only problem was Anthony needing to convince his boss to change his schedule to take the early shift every day.

Maybe opening wasn't the worst thing after all.

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Taglist: @purpletrash @silver-crowned-king @pretty-in-velvett @incorrect-hazbin-quotes @im-not-an-alcaholicokmolly @grape-scapegoat (tagging everyone on the account they responded to the post with, if you prefer a different one, let me know, and anyone shoot me an ask if you wanna be added)

#hazbin hotel #alastor #angel dust #alastor x angel dust #angel dust x alastor #radiodust #fic #coffee shop au #alternate universe #original post #will queue to reblog tomorrow since its like 430 am oops

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my-ocs-and-whatever · 5 years

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Another batch of incorrect quotes w/ the ocs

Because apparently that’s how i do like 70% of character development

Jeannine: What’s your type-

Miranda: Tall, beautiful, really freaking smart, grey eyes, blonde hair-

Jeannine: -of blood....

Miranda: Oh.... type O

Jeannine: ...

Jeannine: D-Did you just describe me????

Jeannine: Did you know that when you break a bone it typically will heal back stronger than before?

Sky: So what you’re saying is that I should break every bone in my body until I become invincible?

Jeannine: …

Jeannine: Please do not do that

Sky: Nathan wrote me a “Get Better Soon” card.

Caroline: That’s sweet!!

Sky: wasn’t sick, he just thought I could do better.

Starr: Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.

Starr: Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Sky, texting Laurel: I have to kill him

Sky: idk how to hit on him so he has to die

Sky: why do we call it “bone dry” when bones spend most of their time being very wet

Nathan: maybe because when you touch a bone it feels really dry

Nathan: bones are porous so they actively suck the moisture out of your fingers

Sky: ...

Sky: that’s so much more unsettling than my original question thanks.

Caroline: Did you know most laughs you hear on tv shows today were recorded in the 1950s? That means, technically, you’re most likely hearing dead people laughing

Starr: That may be a pretty interesting fact for most people, but I already hear dead people laughing

Laurel: Hey Starr?

Laurel: What the fuck does that mean

Jeannine @ like 3 in the morning: If bodies didn’t decompose, would that make solving murders easier or harder?

Miranda: WTF? Who asks questions like that??

Nathan, a forensics nerd: Oh. Interesting! Actually, if you take into account that-

Miranda: WTF?? WHO ANSWERS QUESTION LIKE THAT???

Sky: Jeanniiiiiiiine, I need dating advice.

Jeannine: Just because I’m dating Miranda doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

Miranda: i love you.

Jeannine: i love you more!

Miranda: don’t start a fucking battle you cant win.

Laurel: sword lesbian this, sword lesbian that, will anyone spare a thought for bow and arrow lesbians in these melee fighting times

Laurel: I (a lesbian) pull out a bow, notch an arrow, wink at my lady love and say “the only straight thing about me is my shooting” before skewering the sheriff of Nottingham

Sky: what’s the difference between a brick and a matter baby?

Nathan: what’s a matter baby???

Sky: Nothing, honey, what’s the matter with you? ;)

Nathan: *frustrated screaming*

Miranda: You’re up early, Nate.

Nathan: Bold of you to assume I slept.

Starr: I wish I had the ability to make boys really nervous.

Sky: Holding a really sharp knife to their neck usually does the trick for me!

Nathan: As a boy I can confirm this makes me really nervous.

Caroline: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Starr: Killed without hesitation

Laurel: There are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Sky way.

Miranda: Isn’t that just the wrong way?

Laurel: Yeah, but it’s faster.

Starr: feel free to dress slutty at my funeral. It’s what i would have wanted.

Miranda: If I were dating you. Well, heh, let’s just say horses wouldn’t be called ‘horses’ anymore.

Jeannine: Hey what the fuck does this mean?

Miranda:

Jeannine:

Jeannine: I’M SHAKING WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS MEAN

Jeannine: Swear words are illegal now. If you say one, you’ll be fined.

Nathan: Heck.

Jeannine: You’re on thin fucking ice.

Jeannine: Oh no.

Sky: allow me. locks are my speciality

Sky: *throws brick at window*

Caroline: hey Jeannine! I like your top

Miranda: I have a name, you know

Laurel: *spits out drink*

Caroline: What state are you in?

Jeannine: Constant anxiety.

Laurel: Denial.

Starr: Perfection.

Sky: Michigan!

Nathan: Did you even listen to a single word I said?

Sky: In my defense, I listened to about five of them and that’s a new record for me.

Miranda, drunk: *points at Jeannine* That’s my girlfriend, suckers!

Nathan: she’s your wife, Mirands

Miranda: My wife! Even better!

Miranda: god nerfed me by making me allergic to garlic and sunlight

Nathan: so.. a vampire?

Miranda: i can confirm that i am not a vampire as i have blood

Nathan: is it your blood?

Miranda: it is blood, yes.

#my ocs #c: miranda #c: jeannine #c: nathan #c: sky #c: starr #c: laurel #c: caroline #incorrect quotes

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notveryglittery · 6 years

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trampoline

summary: moral of the story: don’t leave patton and roman alone when they’re bored. words: 1,779 | ships: platonic royality & moxiety. platonic lamp. warnings: roman and patton acting like drunk fraternity boys, panicking notes: this one was so much fun. inspired by this post from @prinxietys!! “theo-doze-a” nickname from @katatles-the-fish‘s post here!

read on ao3! | read more incorrect quotes ficlets!

It was any other day in the Mindscape.

Logan was in his room, working on various schedules. Thomas had spent the last few days visiting his parents and as such, had been in full on relaxation mode. Not much had gotten done and the Sides, for the most part, hadn’t minded. Now, though, Logan felt it necessary to make up for lost time, and was making plans for the last few weeks of the month. No one blamed him for wanting to be ahead of the game and Virgil, in fact, encouraged it. They all understood that it’d help Virgil out in the long run and so even Roman and Patton had left Logan alone. His door was open, just in case, and classical music could be heard drifting down the hallway.

Virgil, meanwhile, was in the Commons. While he’d normally spend this time in his own room, listening to music or a podcast, he had decided the living room might be more comfortable today. He had taken up most of the space on the coffee table, with various adult coloring books. He preferred colored pencils but there were crayons and markers available to him as well. Roman had provided the mediums where Patton had offered the art. Instead of listening with headphones in like usual, Virgil had his music playing quietly through the speakers of his phone. Sunlight spilled into the room through the open blinds.

Patton and Roman, ever the extroverts, thought spending their time alone sounded dreadful, and as such, were in the kitchen together. They’d already baked three batches of cookies (chocolate chip, snickerdoodle, and oatmeal raisin) and were working on a double layer cake. It’d be frosted with buttercream and they’d decorate it with pink flowers and raspberries and it was going to be delicious and beautiful. Their baking spree came to a halt, however, when Roman slipped out of his long sleeved maroon henley and down to the simple tank top underneath. It’d been getting warm in the kitchen, what with the oven on for so long. Patton found himself distracted by Roman’s arms and a thought came to him quite suddenly.

“Roman,” he began slowly, setting down the piping bag he’d started to fill. “You’re strong, aren’t you?”

Roman had seemed confused for hardly a second before he was beaming at Patton, looking a perfect mix of delighted and cocky. He made it work, somehow.

“Of course!” He boasted, flexing. Patton swooned a little. “As a Prince, I must be in order to rescue damsels in distress!” He continued to show off before Patton’s curious, yet slightly mischievous, look caught his attention.

“In that case…” Patton peeked around Roman and into the living room, where Virgil was still distracted by his coloring. He leaned in closer to Roman and whispered, rather conspiratorially, “how far do you think you could throw me?”

They tried to be careful as they snuck out the front door but their giggling caught Virgil’s attention. It might also have had something to do with the bad feeling he had suddenly in the pit of his stomach. He followed the pair outside, from a distance, and rolled his eyes at how utterly unaware they were. Virgil watched as Roman first conjured a trampoline; he couldn’t hear them debating on how far or close to put it to the house, but he got the idea after they moved it a couple times. That bad feeling intensified when Roman created a ladder next and gestured grandly for Patton to climb up it first.

Before Roman could follow, Virgil darted forward and caught him by the wrist.

“What are you two up to?” He asked, not meaning to sound distrustful. He must’ve failed at it because Roman pulled away, looking slightly insulted.

“We’re testing my strength!” Roman defended. “You have absolutely nothing to worry about!”

With that, he ascended the ladder after Patton, and before Virgil could follow, snapped it back out of existence.

“Roman, I swear...” Virgil muttered darkly, before bolting back into the house.

Meanwhile, Logan had closed his door and was laying down on his bed. He’d decided a break to rest his eyes would be advantageous, and was admiring the swirling galaxy that was his ceiling. It was quiet and peaceful and—

The sound of footsteps bounding up the staircase and down the hallway pulled him from his reverie. He’d just sat up when the door slammed open, banging against the wall.

“Virgil,” Logan said, “what ever has gotten into you?”

Out of breath, Virgil gestured wildly back to where he’d come from.

“Roman… is about to… yeet Patton… off the roof!” He was shouting, or trying to at least, while sucking in lungfuls of air. “Onto a trampoline!” He inhaled sharply one last time before approaching Logan, who’d had yet to move, and grabbing his arm. He yanked him off the bed and out of the room. “You’ve got to stop them.”

Logan stumbled after Virgil, whose grip wasn’t loosening any, and adjusted his glasses as they went.

“I don’t know how you expect them to listen to me.” Logan sighed as Virgil led them down the steps. “You know how those two get once they’ve got an idea.”

They continued outside and around to the back of the house. The trampoline had been relocated a few more times and they could hear Patton laughing.

Virgil finally let go of Logan and began to pace nervously.

“Roman, Patton,” Logan called, cupping his hands around his mouth. “I’d like to speak with you, please.”

“Oh great,” Roman yelled, peering over the edge of the roof. “You went and told on us?!” He shot Virgil a look of betrayal.

Patton appeared next to Roman and waved. “Hi, Logan!”

“If I recall correctly, to “yeet” is to throw an object forcefully over a long distance.”

Virgil groaned. “Yes, Logan.”

“Ten points to Ravenclaw!” Patton cheered.

“Am I to understand that you plan on throwing Patton off of the roof and onto this trampoline?”

“Yes, Logan, congratulations.” Roman said in a tone entirely too mocking given the situation.

“Have you considered how reckless and dangerous that is?”

“Aww, Lo! It’ll be okay!” Patton reassured. Virgil wanted to scream. “Roman’s super strong! And I’m the softest puffball we got!”

“Patton,” Virgil clasped his hands together as if he were begging, and honestly, he was this close. “Please do not do this.”

“We’re doing this, Theodozea!” Roman argued. “He’ll be fine! Won’t you, Patton?”

Patton nodded rapidly, glasses going slightly askew from the motion.

“Here!” He said suddenly, pointing to the trampoline, and snapping his own fingers. A plethora of blankets and pillows appeared, covering the surface so thoroughly that it was a good thing there was a net surrounding the frame to keep them from spilling over. “Is that better?”

“Patton,” Virgil repeated, voice pitching higher, and sounding extremely distressed.

Without warning, Roman scooped Patton up into his arms. He squealed excitedly.

“Ready, darling?” Roman asked, striding to the edge of the roof closest to where the trampoline was set up.

“Roman!” Virgil snapped, finally having apparently reached his limit. “Roman, I swear to God, if you throw him off that roof—!”

“Honestly, you two, I fail to see how this is beneficial in any way, whatsoever.”

Roman spun in a few circles, as if trying to gain momentum, before he swung his arms out, and tossed Patton over the roof. Virgil screamed. Logan’s gasp came out strangled, as if he was properly surprised Roman had actually gone through with this ridiculous plan. Patton let out a peal of laughter, tucking his legs against his chest. He went flying through the air and Virgil felt his heart trying to beat itself out of his chest.

“Patton!!” he cried, rushing towards the trampoline. “Patton, oh my God, Patton, fuck, fuck, fuck.” His hands were shaking terribly as he watched Patton disappear into the pile of cushioning. Logan was following, face gone pale.

Before anything else could happen, Patton burst out of the nest of blankets and looked around gleefully.

“Judges?!” He exclaimed, as if Virgil and Logan would rate his landing.

“Patton, move over!” Roman called from the roof. While he backed up to get a running start, Patton scrambled out of the middle of the trampoline and off to the side.

“Oh, for…” Logan mumbled, sounding like he was going to be sick.

“Roman, no!” Virgil’s voice cracked, hands reaching uselessly up, as if he could stop Roman from launching himself off the roof and onto the trampoline.

Roman was stupidly graceful in his movements and Virgil was going to murder him for the unnecessary backflip, among many other things. Much like Patton, he vanished underneath the padding, before appearing again, hair an absolute disaster, and out of breath.

Roman snapped his fingers and the trampoline dematerialized. He and Patton and Patton’s pillows and blankets landed on the grass. Patton fell over, laughing himself silly.

“I hate you both,” Virgil panted. He allowed Patton to reach forward and take his hand, pulling him into the pile.

“We aren’t friends anymore,” he insisted, “unfollowed, blocked, reported.” As he went on, he wrapped Patton tighter and tighter in his arms, until there was absolutely no chance of Patton getting away.

Roman crossed his arms, pouting. “See! He’s fine! I told you there was no need to worry!”

“You did no such thing,” Logan pointed out.

Virgil could have mentioned that Roman did say so, before Logan had arrived, but he had no intention of standing up for Roman right about now. Logan stood out of reach so that he couldn’t be dragged into the cuddling.

“Are you finished with all of…” He gestured to the mess, “this? I have more important things to be dealing with.”

Roman huffed. “Sure, yeah, fine, whatever.”

He moved to join Virgil and Patton in their snuggling but Virgil pierced him with an absolutely murderous glare. Holding his hands up in surrender, he sighed in a very long-suffering sort of way.

“I get it. Not your favorite person right now.” Still, Roman smiled sweetly at Patton as he stood. “I’ll go get those cakes ready to decorate, dearest.”

Patton nodded happily, still quite content to be enveloped in Virgil’s arms. Once the two were alone, Patton gently nudged his nose against Virgil’s neck. Virgil shuddered at the contact but held Patton all the more, as if the touch was further proof that Patton was okay, safe, alive.

“Sorry to scare you, kiddo,” Patton apologized.

“Just promise it won’t happen again?” Virgil requested, rocking them back and forth a bit.

“I promise,” Patton agreed.

#sanders sides fan fiction #incorrect quotes ficlets #royality #moxiety #lamp #dani writes

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lilacnestor-blog · 6 years

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Christmas With the Egos

I’m sorry that I’m posting so late, but I’ve just spent the last two hours writing this and need to post it before I pass out. Thanks to @incorrect-ego-quotes for providing me with the Christmas post that inspired this. I’m sorry it’s a mess and kind of sad at the end? I have to get in a little bit of angst, but it gets happy with like the last sentence, so it’s okay.

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Ah, Christmas. The one time everybody actually gets along. Ever since the Egoiplier meeting a few weeks ago where they discussed having a Christmas party, and Darkiplier begrudgingly suggested Markiplier Manor as a spot to host it, everyone's been on board trying to get it set up. We take you now to that very house, Christmas Eve, at about seven pm. The Jacksepticegos arrived about an hour ago, and now, the party's in full swing.

Marvin the Magician has just conjured up a blanket of fake snow out in the yard and is building a snowman with Mark Bop, who's babbling in that strange language that only he can understand. I heard they're trying to teach the poor kid sign language, seeing as he either can't or refuses to learn English. Dapper Jack, who seems to have become fast friends with the babbling ego, perhaps over their shared speaking conditions, has noticed the snow and is making snow angels. Dapper Jack signs something to Mark Bop, and Mark Bop babbles for a minute before hesitantly signing something back, making both Marvin and Dapper Jack beam. I guess Marvin knows sign language as well. And now they're hugging. Could this get any closer to a Hallmark movie moment?

We now take you inside the house, where Wilford Warfstache, verifiable psychopath, has a captive audience of both Jims, not that I've ever seen one without the other, and is telling them stories about Krampus, who, according to him, is an old friend from college. Oh, the good old days of demon college? The whole thing makes no sense, especially since Wil isn't even a demon, or at least he wasn't the last time I checked, but he's succeeded in scaring the living daylights out of the naive Jims, who will probably now have nightmares about Krampus for the next week. Good going, Wilford.

Oh, finally, a responsible adult ego. Googleplier is in one of the manor's living rooms and is furiously wrapping presents, while a nervous-looking Silver Shepard brings him mug after mug of hot chocolate, which Google proceeds to chug before going back to wrapping. Though the hot chocolate could easily be coffee, from here it's hard to tell. Or maybe it's just spiked and Google just wants to get really, really drunk. Silver is getting more and more agitated as the mugs start to pile up, it's quite hilarious. Eventually, he just takes about eight used mugs in his arms and carefully carries them out to the kitchen, where he proceeds to wash them out and refill them with hot chocolate, bringing them back out one by one.

Also in the kitchen, Artiplier is baking tray after tray of Christmas cookies, cutting them into various shapes while a confused Rob Zombie watches on. Arty eventually gives Rob a finished, beautifully iced cookie, and the zombie takes a bite as if he's not sure what to expect. His eyes light up, and he mumbles something, to which Arty leads him over to the cookie cutters and guides him through the process. They complete the next batch together, and Rob even helps ice them, although he's not as good as Artiplier, of course, he still manages to get the job done. Arty smiles at him, and they start on the next batch. They're soon a well-oiled team, Rob cutting the cookies and putting them in the oven, and Arty icing them, intricate designs made from sprinkles and buttercream icing of every color of the rainbow decorating the freshly baked cookies.

Meanwhile, on the not-so-pure side of things, Antisepticeye has just spiked the eggnog by pouring an entire bottle of Jack Daniels into it. And yes, I see the pun there. But more on that later, I'm sure this situation will provide for an extraordinarily fun night.

We now momentarily take you outside of Markiplier Manor, to the local Target, where pandemonium has erupted, and, unsurprisingly, it appears to be Yandereplier's fault. Yandere has now threatened three shoppers with their katana, and Ed Edgar, who appears to have been sent to keep an eye on them, is desperately trying to defuse the situation. I never thought I'd see the day where Ed Edgar was the reasonable one in any situation, but here we are. The item that Yandereplier appears to be ready to kill for is... a Furby. Oh, god, it's a Furby. I would question why Yandereplier thinks that's a good last-minute Christmas present, but since when have they made any sense? Ed Edgar appears to now be giving the traumatized shoppers cash, throwing some at the register, and dragging Yandere and the Furby out of the store. Man, I didn't know they still even made Furbies. I thought they all died back in 2012. Ed Edgar now appears to be lecturing Yandere about how many people they just had to pay off and how much "profits" they lost. I don't think I even want to know what these profits are from. I'm just going to hope they're from Mark's YouTube channel. I still wonder who's going to open their present on Christmas day and receive a slightly bloody Furby.

In an office of the manor that seems familiar, but you can't place why, the Host is narrating himself while already planning out the New Years Eve party that will be held here in a few days time. I'm pretty sure he's been in here since before the Jacksepticegos arrived. He hasn't come out to enjoy the party at all, he's just been narrating various party supplies that write themselves down into a neat list on the desk, and making notes about possible bartenders and musicians to book, mumbling something about classical music being the only thing they play or so help him god. Suddenly, there is a knock at the door of the office, which startles the Host out of his rambling and he narrates the door to open, only to find Bim Trimmer standing there holding two mugs of what appears to be the spiked eggnog, although Bim certainly doesn't know that. What follows is a disgustingly adorable display of affection between the two of them as they socialize while drinking eggnog, and Bim tells the Host not to overwork himself and to come out and enjoy the party. Now I'm not sure if a ship between two egos of the same person is like incest or not, but I can definitely tell you, it looks like Bim has already had a few mugs of eggnog, and is slightly tipsy. You get the gist. Disgustingly adorable, like I said.

Back out in the living room, Bingiplier has apparently challenged Dr. Iplier to a drinking contest, having noticed the eggnog is spiked, and Dr. Iplier has declined because of alcohol intolerance, which is strange because shouldn't that also mean Bing can't drink? I'm not entirely sure how that works, but I can tell you that Bing is chugging eggnog like his life depends on it. And now Bing is running to the bathroom, about to puke, and Dr. Iplier is reluctantly following him, saying something about how he knew this would happen. Bing is now throwing up spiked eggnog and Dr. Iplier is offering mostly unhelpful advice. See, I knew this would turn out hilarious.

The other doctor, Dr. Schneeplestein, is in the living room where Bing just chugged eggnog, and after being slightly amused at that situation, has gone back to reading some large, medical-looking book. He appears to be sulking and every so often mumbles something about this whole thing being stupid, Christmas being useless, or him being dragged to this party. Jackieboyman now appears to be approaching him. Let's get a look at this juicy dialogue. "Henrik, why are you pouting?"

"I'm not pouting, Jackie, I'm sulking. There's a difference."

"It's Christmas, Henrik, the least you can do is have a little fun."

"I can't have fun, I'm allergic to it."

"Cut the sarcasm, Henrik, what's wrong? I haven't seen you this down since you played that surgeon simulator game on the computer and you lost your patient."

"Jackie, don't remind me of that. It's just, I don't understand the point of Christmas. I mean, none of us are very religious, so why celebrate it? It's just an excuse to tell people to buy you stuff that you could've just bought yourself."

"Henrik, you don't understand. It's not about the gifts. It's not even about the religious part of it, or at least it isn't for us. It's about all of us being together, telling Christmas stories we've all heard ten thousand times and having fun. Christmas is about family. It's about having fun with people you care about."

"That's nice and all, Jackie, but it's not like that for me. There's no Christmas magic. There's no believing in Santa Claus, and there never was. There were no Christmas stories, I don't even know if I can name more than five Christmas songs. This is just such a new thing for me. I know most of the other septic egos understand Christmas, maybe not Robbie, but we can't blame him for that, but I just don't have that. I've never really celebrated it, not in the life fabricated for me when I became an ego. The Schneeplestein family, though they don't exist, never celebrated Christmas, so I don't have any memories, even fictional ones, of it."

"Henrik, why didn't you just tell me? Are you Jewish, should we find a menorah?"

"No, no, I'm not Jewish, it's just I never celebrated it, so I don't understand it."

"Well, I'm going to help you to understand. I'm going to tell you all of the Christmas stories I know, and we can learn all of the Christmas songs, and by the time it's midnight, you will have understood the true meaning of Christmas. But only if you want to, of course."

"Sure, Jackie. I'll learn what Christmas means. It sure beats reading this, anyway."

Aww, look at them, cute and pure and all hung-up on Christmas. I'm pretty sure I've already said this, but it's like something out of a Hallmark movie. Jackieboyman is going to teach Dr. Schneeplestein the true meaning of Christmas, and I'm sure they'll fucking kiss under the mistletoe at midnight, too, because all of this is just too perfect. Look, let's just... find someone else to focus on.

Ahh, there's King of the Squirrels, sitting by the fireplace. He's in a room all to himself, but the fireplace is lit. Perhaps one of the egos magically lit every fireplace in the house when they first got here. King appears to be writing something on a piece of paper, his handwriting messy, like a child's. Chase Brody enters the room and flops onto an armchair, lightly dusted with snow, to which I realize that yes, it has been snowing for a while. Not sure if it's somebody's magic, seeing as a good half of them are reality benders, and there is one genuine magician, or mother nature just adding to the show. When King notices Chase in the room, he keeps writing for a minute, before getting up and bringing his paper over to Chase.

"Is this... good? Did I get everyone? I know not all of them wrote letters, so I included them in mine."

King hands his paper to Chase, who reads it aloud.

"Dear Santa, This year, what I want is for everyone to be happy. I want my squirrel subjects to get all of the food they need. I want Mark Bop to learn how to sign. I want the Jims to take a big case. I want Arty to make a really good painting that he likes. I want Ed Edgar to not have to worry about his profits. I want Dr. Iplier to be able to say people are going to make it instead of telling everyone they're dying. I want Silver Shepard to save the world, and get all of the recognition he deserves. I want Bim to be happy instead of anxious all the time from working for Wil. I want Wilford to produce a sequel to Markiplier TV and have tons of fun working on it. I want the Host to be able to see but still retain his powers because they're awesome. I want Google to be able to feel emotions better because he's not good at that. I want Yandere to finally be happy with their senpai. I want Dark to be able to take over the channel and express emotions that aren't anger. And I want all of the other egos that are visiting to be happy, too, even if I don't know what they want. And for me, all I want is a tree house in that big tree in the courtyard of the Egoplier building, so I can sleep there more comfortably. I hope you get this, KING"

"So is it good?"

"It's beautiful, King. You know, you remind me of my kids. You just want everybody to get along. I think you should definitely send this, I'll even help you mail it."

And now they're hugging. It's stupid that everything has to end up so happy. They're all perfectly fine without me being here, I'm not even sure why I showed up. I'm just the narrator of a fluffy Christmas story, after all. Just here to provide witty commentary. Just here to sit on the roof, in the snow, and look down, sensing everyone below me, having fun. Thank god my powers come in handy, somehow, right?

But, strangely, I sense someone coming up the stairs to the roof. Who else would want to remove themselves from the party when all the fun is down there? It's probably a Septic Ego, coming to tell me that I need to "believe in the spirit of Christmas" because all of the septic egos are all so nice and pure. Even their demon doesn't do anything more than cause a little mayhem now and again. But the door opens, and it's the one person I haven't heard from all night.

"Hello there, Dark," I say to the suit-clad figure standing on the roof.

"Nice to see you, it's been a while. I guess you're not much of a party-goer too, huh?"

"Not exactly. It's not like any of them noticed I showed up. Half of them probably aren't even aware of my existence. They're all caught up in their own worlds, writing letters to Santa, baking cookies, and figuring out the true meaning of Christmas. There's even some stupid fucking romantic action down there, it's like a Hallmark Christmas movie."

"Spying on the egos, now are we? And don't tell me Bim and the Host already hooked up and I missed it, I've been waiting for that all night. I knew it was going to happen as soon as Anti spiked the punch. Bim's such a lightweight, I knew it wouldn't be long before he was spilling his feelings."

"You knew about that? And it wasn't weird? It's not weird that two egos from the same person are hooking up? That's not like incest or anything?"

"Oh, no, not at all. I'm sure you heard Dr. Schneeplestein's whole conversation about fictionalized past lives. Well, we all technically have families. They just don't exist. They only exist in our minds, and only started existing there when we came into existence. None of us are related, except the Jim twins, so it's completely fine."

"Okay, that makes more sense. You know that I just don't understand those things."

"It's completely normal for us, but I do understand how it could be weird for you. You really should rejoin the party. You say people don't acknowledge your presence, but that's because you don't let them. Come down, have some fun."

"You know what, I think I will. You can go back down, I'll be there in a minute."

"Alright, see you in a few, BlankGamePlays."

"I've told you so many times, just call me Blank."

"Fine, fine, but you better get down here before Wil and Anti have a drinking contest. It's going to happen in a few minutes and it's going to be great."

"Okay, I'm coming."

And with that, I stopped being the narrator in other people's lives and started being one of my own. I rejoined the party. I had fun. I laughed when Anti puked on the carpet. I didn't even cringe when I saw Dr. Schneeplestein and Jackieboyman share a small kiss under the mistletoe at midnight. I actually gave them a thumbs up. I had a good Christmas.

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fitprocafe-blog · 4 years

Text

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mythgirlimagines · 3 years

Text

ANON-CORRECT QUOTES

———————————–

Janon: (walking through the dorm rooms, when he notices a mysterious door)

Janon: (opening the door) Uh, is anybody th-!

MM!One: (in his lair, with multiple spear wounds on his body)

Janon/MM!One: (awkward silence as they stare at each other)

Janon: (closes the door)

MM!One: (busts through the wall holding a spear, angrily) D O N ’T J U S T P R E T E N D L I K E Y O U D I D N ’ T S E E M E !~ ★

Janon: (screaming in fear)

Source: Cells At Work!

Video Source: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REUEHYKjTuo)

———————————–

(in the kitchen)

Nerd: (angrily sandwiching Myth’s face in between two pieces of bread, idiot-sandwich style) WHAT ARE YOU?!

Myth: (winking) A snack~!

Wyre: (wheezing in laughter)

Nerd: (so angry and flustered that he’s burning the bread with his hands) YOU ABSOLUTE MORON!

Source: Parody of a Gordon Ramsey meme

———————————–

Eldritch: (listening to something on his headphones)

Dream: What are you listening to, Ritchie?

Eldritch: (removes his headphones) A-A relaxation t-t-tape. The r-rain is su-supposed to h-he-help me r-r-relax.

Dream: (curious) Is it working?

Eldritch: (shivering) N-not r-really! I k-keep worrying M-Mom left th-the c-c-car windows d-down again!

Source: Golden Girls

————————————

(in Scar’s office)

Curious/Iris: (lost in thought)

Scar: (making a grand entrance) Greetings, Demon of the Cosmos and Demon of Servitude! I apologize for my tardiness! You needed me to help you out with something?

Curious: Yes, it’s about Janon.

Iris: (looking back) We can’t quite wrap our heads around it. He seems to really hate the other Anons, us included!

Iris: But he’s always there for us middle schoolers in a pinch! We just don’t get it!

Scar: Ah, yes! The Demon of Sloth is pretty difficult to decipher. But I can tell that he is a person who is carrying a great burden!

Scar: On the internet, we have a word for those such as him!

Curious/Iris: What?

Scar: “Tsundere”!

Source: Twitter

Page Source: (https://twitter.com/search?q=incorrect%20sif%20part%20569&src=typed_query)

————————————-

(after being called to the auditorium)

Sparkle: (impatiently) THIS BETTER BE IMPORTANT! I EVEN WORE MY GOOD CAPE FOR THIS!

Source: Tumblr

————————————–

Wet Sock: Egg! You’ve gotta stop filling our heads with cursed images!

Wet Sock: (shoving Egg outside) Go with Purple on her little “inspiration perspiration”, or whatever!

(3 HOURS LATER)

Purple: (entering the con building with Egg) Felicitations, Wet Sock. We have arrived from our inspiration peregrination.

Egg: (excitedly) I went on a hike!

Wet Sock: There you go! I hope you got something from that!

Egg: I did! (pulls out a duck from behind their back) This duck!

Wet Sock/Purple: (facepalming)

Source: Twitter

—————————————-

Fusion: (walks up to Fusion II) Hey, Two. Do you know where Janon ran off to?

Fusion II: (laying on a lawn chair, reading a book and drinking lemonade) You mean after he accidentally made Curious cry?

(a garbage truck drives by)

Janon: (running after the garbage truck) HEY, WAIT! YOU FORGOT ME!

Fusion: (concerned for his dark strange son) Should we catch up to him?

Fusion II: (eyes still on her book) Just think of it as him making up for his absence at all of your exercise trivia seminars.

Source: Unknown

—————————————-

What do you think, everybody? Were these quotes worth the weekly wait? I’d love to hear your thoughts on them! Enjoy this week’s batch of “Papa Fusion’s Anon-Correct Quotes”! Rated A for All Anons!

-Fusion Anon

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I love the Cells At Work! one!

#submission #anon #fusion anon #fusion anon ii #just anon #wet sock anon #egg anon #purple anon #sparkling anon #anon scar #curious anon #iris anon #eldritch anon #dream anon #anon nerd #my evil twin #incorrect quote #anon kg #i speak

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