#anyways if you feel sick dont wait for it to get better on its own like i did

[qoldwater]

.

#JUST GOT DONE AT THE DOCTOR #FUCKING I COULD HAVE DIED #so my asthma is at NEW LEVELS and my inhaler isnt cutting it anymore #and i have a viral infection of some kind thats exacerbating my asthma #doc deadass said i could have honestly stopped breathing entirely #fucking GREAT #dont gave COVID or anything like that but god damn whatever it is actually is really really bad for me rn #in a week i need to get an x ray on my chest and im on meds that literally make you irritable #so my doc told me to tell everyone that it's the meds and not anything anyone is really doing #so im talking about it here in case my posts get w e i r d #ill live but holy shit i cut that close #my lungs werent exhaling or inhaling hardly at all #fuuuuck #anyways if you feel sick dont wait for it to get better on its own like i did #cut that too close fuck

[ugotcooneycrossed]

have i told you lately, im grateful youre mine • alessia russo

w/c: ~900

alessia doesn't like anyone as much as she likes you- or, how mean girl less is really just a big softie

a/n: i dont really love this but its done so

------------------------------------------------------------

the skies are overcast- the cold wind hitting your cheeks and nose- no matter how hard you try to cover them in your scarf.

it’s raining- small droplets fall down and splatter on the ground, and on your clothes- well alessia’s clothes, but really it’s basically yours anyway.

it feels just like home really.

you had no reason to make the move to america- unfortunately gifted with the burden of two left feet, and asthma so bad your breathing could rival that of a pug, a sport scholarship was out of the question. thankfully your skills in books landed you with endless opportunities, that wouldn’t cause you to fall on your face. you could’ve gone to any uni really- but with an academic scholarship calling, and the promise of much better weather, you couldn’t turn it down.

and it was only ironic that you met alessia when you finally got to UNC- stargirl to the extreme and very- very serious footballer. even thinking about her sport made you breathless- or well, thinking about her playing football with the stupidly attractive captains armband made you breathless.

friday night games are your favourite- all your focus can be diverted to watching your girlfriend play.

and like every other week- your voice is sore from how much you’ve been cheering and screaming for the blonde striker.

they’re winning two – nil, those scored by of course alessia.

and no matter how many games you go to, no matter if they’re here at UNC or somewhere across the world for youth international duties, and no matter how many times she scores. you will always be the loudest one cheering.

you manage to make eye contact with her, beaming at her and sending her a thumbs up-and she smirks back at you, blowing you a kiss. your cold cheeks start to warm and you sit back down when the people around you start to tease you.

everyone and their mothers know who alessia russo’s girlfriend is- she’s quite known for her possessive streak around campus.

there was the time where she poured her drink on someone when they didn’t get the hint, also the time she came to you at half-time at her game to steal your jacket so everyone could see the number on the back of your shirt- then nursing you back to health when you inevitably got sick, and also the time she blew off training and had to run laps- all because she wanted to cuddle.

so, no- she’s not subtle at all.

not that you’d complain of course- her jealousy is very attractive.

by the time the stands clear out- it’s just you left, waiting for your girlfriend to finish her post match routine.

“hey (y/n)!”

you beam at the voice- running down the steps to jump into lotte’s arms for a hug.

“hi! you were so great out there!”

“how do you know- I’m sure lessi was all you could focus on.”

“that’s not true carlotte. i love all you girls equally.”

“hmm well i wasn’t even playing, so i think you’re lying.”

lotte wiggles her eyebrows at you, and your mouth drops I shock- before you rub the back of your neck in embarrassment.

“sorry lotts.”

“just kidding! i really was playing- but you still didn’t notice so ha!”

“go bother someone else’s girlfriend lotte- or, go get your own!”

alessia swings her arm around your shoulder and your hand comes up to hold hers- fingers entwining. alessia presses a kiss to the side of you face and stares at lotte.

“calm down less- i’m just messing around.”

you elbow your girlfriend.

“yeah, yeah. bye now lotte i’ll see you tomorrow.”

you both watch the older girl walk away- and alessia sets off, arm still around your shoulders, bringing you close to her side. you start to stumble over your feet at the awkward angle she’s created.

“less let me go- i can’t walk properly.”

“no.”

-

in the few years alessia’s been here, she’s garnered quite the reputation- a harsh captain with a mean streak, always quick with insults, and never afraid to get into a physical fight.

she’s competitive, and judgemental- and well a mean girl.

but you know better.

you know that she’s a sucker for romantic films- no matter how many times she tells you its stupid, she’ll always end up crying first.

you know that she lets you win- at any game really, ‘miss sore loser’ seems to always forget how to play whenever its against you.

you know that her jealousy is just because she loves you- and despite time, and time again reassuring her that she doesn’t need to be jealous, that you have and always will love just her- she continues to bite the head off just about anyone who so much as looks at you.

you can especially see it in the way she grips your hand tighter, the way her eyes glare at anyone daring to get too close, but mostly- you can tell in the way she refuses to let you go, from whatever party youre at, all the way back to your dorms.

shes a softie really- hanging off you as if you were her lifeline- puckering her lips and begging for kisses.

no one knows her the way you do.

the way you could do absolutely nothing with her and itd still be perfect.  

#alessia russo x reader #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso

[undercoverpena]

viii. leave me on red

frankie morales x f!reader | chapter eight of i like the way you

best friend! friends with benefits! frankie morales summary: what starts off as an offhand remark, quickly becomes a regular, scheduled 'stress relief'. the only problem is, both of you are in denial that you feel anything outside of friendship for the other.

warnings: friends with benefits. fwb! rules. flirting. idiots who are so in love it’s stupid. feelings. smut - phone/text/video sex. angst. dont hate the jo.

word count: 3.6k

an: the hugest thanks to @thetriumphantpanda for not getting mad at me for doing this to them.

You decided it in the minutes after he left, you were going to tell him.

Back pressed to the door, head resting, eyes closed. Tears stinging in the edges, burning. Your breath all strained and difficult—that is, until it decided what it wished to be, anyway.

Then, it shifted, transformed. It morphing into a sob that rumbles and cracks, shaking its way through you until your knees plead to crumble to the floor.

Because you had wanted to chase after him. Even ring him. Beg him to come back.

It wasn’t until you climbed back into bed, letting the scent of him wash over you, did you commit to the idea.

That’s when you begin rehearsing it, letting it move from rolling around your skull to dripping from your tongue. You did so as you made food, as you did chores. Perfecting it, choosing words so cautiously and carefully, swapping them out, practising it until it becomes a thing typed into a piece of your soul.

I’m in love with you Frankie. I have been for a while.

You don’t expect it to rival the greatest poets, and won’t find a place amongst the greatest scripts to ever be. It won’t be a speech that’ll be copied and used in film. But it’ll matter.

It will be meaningful.

It’ll have weight and carry truth—and you suppose, when all is said and done—that’s what will matter. It’ll be out there, free, existing—swirling between the two of you instead of caged inside of your chest.

Once you’ve spoken it, it should calm the storm inside of you; should quiet the choppy waves that collide within you, each one attempting to do more than knock you off your feet, but grasp you by the ankles and drag you under.

Confessing it, should do a lot of things. But that doesn’t bring you any comfort right now. If anything, it makes you feel sick, feeling only thorny anguish which keeps you up at night.

Never before had you been thankful for booking vacation time.

A chance to be, to sit around your home and pretend you don’t want to find a way to get to him, tell him it all now, let it unspool, even with no hope of it being the same as it ever was.

Because you could lose him. Ruin it all. Taint the one thing you cherish above all else.

It’s why you turn it over. Letting it worm its way from a box of doubts to a fully-fledged car crash you replay over and over as you lay in bed, fingers twitching, chest tightening, jaw clenching.

It’s only on the third day since you had made the decision, that you decide to share your plan with another soul.

Doing so over the phone—only one name came to mind. As soon as she answered and you spilt, you were greeted with only a joyous tone, it all full of pride. Your friend who is all knowledgable and wise, being nothing short of a cheerleader. Saw it coming, she tells you, been waiting for you to wake up and smell the coffee. You bite your inner cheek, doing so until copper swirls around spit, because you’ve known too (something you want to tell her). You’d been carrying it around for longer than realisation had been bestowed on her.

It’s easier not to say it. Swallowing it, letting it die in a pit of stomach acid, where other things you never say go to erode.

“Any advice?” you’d asked.

“Just be honest.”

On day four, you had gnawed the skin from your lip. It's sore, practically pulsing. It has its own heartbeat from how raw it feels.

Your nerves beginning to get the better of you, swarming and piercing, pecking away at your earlier confidence—stinging it with doubts, ones which spread, all poisonous, swelling out until it’s all you can feel.

His texts help.

One day I’ll get you back up in a heli. Only if I can sit between your legs like last time. Can sit anywhere you want, baby.

You’re not sure how it’s possible that miles away he can make your day better and your pussy clench around nothing all at once. Your body missing him—just as much as your head, heart and soul. Thighs pressing together, all your earlier thoughts popping like bubbles as you read his words over, and over, and over. A whimper grows in the back of your throat, hammering on the back of your teeth to be released.

Flicking your eyes up, you catch your appearance in the mirror.

The way your skin is just lightly sheened with the droplets from your shower—having been in a rush to reply than dry yourself. So much so, the air tinged with the scent of your shampoo and body wash. It’s thick, and heavy, your skin warming under the effect of his words making it more prominent, evident.

Smirking, you slide your hand until it undoes the robe of your dressing gown—letting it gape, the cool air brushing over once warm skin, until it pebbles, the peaks of your nipples hardening as you take a breath, and snap. There, immortalised, you stand—positioning your phone, ensuring the camera cuts off your eyes, beginning at the base of your nose, capturing the white of your teeth against your bottom lip, the white robe hanging, parted, framing the bare skin under it.

And you don’t think, you just send.

No caption, no message.

Just the sound of the whoosh as your heart hammers, beats, and thumps in the milliseconds it takes before you see the speech bubble of his reply.

Fuck, baby. Wish you were here.

Bending down to kneeling, you shimmy the fabric from your shoulders—pooling it in the creases of your elbows. Positioning yourself so your hand can be seen perfectly between your thighs, keeping yourself hidden, just a fraction. You ensure your breasts are on show, arm shifting to push them closer together, before you smirk—no, you think. Shifting your expression to a smile, a little one, which grows bigger and larger just as you click the shoot button.

It begins, a slow-motion capture of your disrobe, of you seating yourself down on the floor in front of your mirror, taking instruction through his texts—positioning yourself like a doll. The last being on your rear, soles flat to your carpet, thighs spread, head back as your neck elongates.

You’ve never felt more beautiful, even exposed. Eyes don’t linger on the things you usually pick apart first thing in the morning, before you dress for another day, and they don’t linger on the parts you catch in the corner of your eyes before you shower. You just see radiance, shadow-kissed skin that is being bowed to through a screen.

Fuck you’re gorgeous. Can see how wet you are. You need me, baby? Always, Frankie.

Your finger sliding along your inner thigh, tips brushing over before parting your folds. It won’t be enough, he’s ruined you—made it impossible not to wish for him, crave those thick, long fingers that both keep things hovering in the air and you hovering over space, time and existence.

“Frankie,” you moan, to no one but you.

Curling, sinking deeper until—

Can I call you?

You don’t reply, you just call. The distinct sound of a request to video echoes around the room as you slow your ministrations, a low whimper escaping as he connects, as his face fills the screen that's cast to the side, his own view of your ceiling.

He says your name, quiet, more questioning. Your trembling hand moves, picking it up as the other remains buried deep inside you, lifting your phone, giving him a view, a taste, a sight.

“Tell me what to do,” you whine.

Watching him as he drinks as much of you in as he can, commits you to memory, skates his eyes over every pixel, not wanting to miss a single one, before he clears his throat, before he carries you in his phone to his bed.

Licking your lips, you release a breathy sigh—one that begins in the depths of your stomach, rising up and fluttering out. Almost carrying a moan as you find that spot inside of you, the one which makes you boneless, thighs threatening to tremble.

“You want me to keep my fingers—“

“Faster,” Frankie stammers, “Want you to move those perfect fingers a little faster for me. Think you can do that?”

Nodding, you roll your lips, heat washing out over you, gripping the phone tightly.

“Fuck, baby. Y’know how good you look right now?”

You heave out his name. It building, fanning out over nerves that tingle at the edges of you—making your fingers curl, heel of your palm catching the swollen bundle of nerves that makes the sound of what you’re doing that much louder, filthier, more obscene.

And you fucking love it.

Love all of this.

Love him—

“Wish I could bury my face between your legs—“

“—oh, shit—“

“—y’like the sound of that, querida?”

Your eyes flick to the screen, staring at him—a pang in your chest flooding outwards, it mixing with how much you wish he was here, desperate for it, half-wanting to beg him to get his ass over here and make a mess of you in front of your mirror.

“Touch yourself,” you say instead.

Swallowing back the rest, letting your head fall back, obscuring him from view as you slow your movements, teasing, edging yourself as your core twists, and electricity thunders in your veins.

“Want—fuck—wanna come with you.”

“Alright baby,” he says—as if it’s the most normal thing, as though anything the two of you are doing is normal. “Let’s do this together.”

You hope it’s not the only time he’ll say that to you.

Days drag when you clock watch. Hours take even longer.

It’s a thing you know, but you can’t help but do so all the same. Each time you check, you hope it’s closer to the time. The one marked in your calendar, the one which has been making you both nervous and elated all week.

It had only been when you stopped tidying, stopped moving things from one counter to the other, did you spot it—eyes land on it and never leave.

You're not even sure when he left it behind, but your eyes linger on the corduroy jacket near your door. It’s moss-green, hanging, growing in the corner of your eye and borrowing more of your attention than it should. You’re sure it grows vines, ones which tap on your shoulder when you’re able to forget it’s there, only to make you look over, and spot it all over again.

The worst thing about it, it looks like it's supposed to be there. As though the hook you had expertly hung, (correction: hammered a nail in and hoped for the best) was always meant to hang his things, be dedicated to it.

In truth, he acts like he’s supposed to be here.

Fitting, even if you’d never made a place for him outside of being his friend. Now, you see the outline of him, perfect cut out, a drawer which could host the bolts and bits from his pockets, the shelf which he could place his eccentric collection of DVDs from the sleepless nights during storms.

You suppose it’s why it continues to catch your eyes, your gaze lingering on it—knowing, without brushing your fingers against it or burying your nose into it, that it smells like it. That, in its own way, is spreading out that calming effect he has.

One you need now more than ever.

Hand wrapping around the handle of the knife, chopping, preparing. Eyes studying the recipe that is ingrained in you, one you could do with a timer and your eyes closed, but you need to stare at it, to read the handwritten notes and pretend for a second it’s not something you used to make for him all the time.

Before the rule, the one he made you agree to because you’d asked something from him.

Now, you just snort. Adding the ingredients to the pot, turning the heat down, as a soft simmer begins before you wipe your hands down on your towel. Because in time, you’d broken all of them, both for one another and for yourselves.

And that had to mean something. Had to be more than a coincidence or something that just was. It had to be underpinned by unsaid words and swirling emotions neither of you feel equipped to handle, yet feel more prominently than you know what to do with.

You make more of an effort in your clothes. Not for him, for you. A thrill sparks through you when you catch sight of yourself when you pass a mirror, catch yourself in the reflection of a window, your television. Because you look like someone who could confess your feelings, let your adoration be known. You feel like someone who will do it, can do it—a confidence which has been coming and going since you’d decided.

It’s only when you lay it all out (the glasses, the plates and the cutlery), does a stitch begin to appear in your carefully thought-out plan. One that digs, the needle-sharp, pointed, aiming to prick and make you bleed, smear across perfection and make it ruin. A thing you put off, able to argue with it, point out its stupidity.

Tonight could be the last time you see him.

Maybe, this thing the two of you had was all he had wanted—all he’d needed. Not an overbearing amount of emotions he can’t handle or begin to understand.

A thought you try to squash, shove down deep inside.

That is, until the bigger hand pushes the smaller one on, and it begins to create a hole inside your chest. It forming based on that earlier thought. That dread, that worry and concern which has been thickening in the back of your head for weeks now. Now, it's grown out of the walls you kept it behind. It widens with each passing minute until it’s close to an hour and it’s practically a sinkhole. It taking everything it can with it—happiness, courage, laughs and the smiles. Vanishing them, wiping them clean like they never existed, as every bit of wanted you had felt, was painfully plucked from you, tweezed until you were back to that horrid place you were before all of this began.

Except now, you felt too much. Unsure if you’re able to put a cork in it, trap it under just want him to be happy and content at being friends.

A sob escapes, just a little one.

But, it’s enough to widen the door. Allowing more of them to bubble up and appear, climbing forcibly up your chest as though they’ve been building a ladder and plotting their escape for the last few minutes.

Each rolling out, freeing, bursting into the air. Your body racked with them, trembling, shaking.

Your hand finds refuge on the counter, stabilising you, keeping you from falling into the hole of your own making. And your thumb brushes porcelain, the neatly displayed food you’d spent hours on, a declaration all on its own.

A—see, I broke the rules too, Morales—except, he hasn’t come. Hasn’t arrived.

Maybe he’d known. Maybe he’d decided that it was all too much, standing you up easier—you supposed it was much harder to face the person you’d been best friends with and break her heart to her face.

But, your Frankie would never do that. Except he isn’t yours, not really.

Even less so as time ticks far past running late into the zone of stood up.

And you feel dumb, stupid. A gnawing sensation growing in the place your love had once been, it twisting, tainting, painting everything it can in ruin and staining it in the disappointment you never thought he’d make you feel.

“Fuck,” you choke out, hand clasping your face.

Fresh tears, acidic and thick, hammer down onto your cheeks like a downpour. Layering on top of one another, blurring your vision, making your chest feel both heavier and lighter all at once.

Grabbing your phone, you don’t even think—unlocking it, finding the contact and clicking Message.

Are you free for a drink?

You should consider it, go to bed, wake up tomorrow and bury your feelings in something healthier like yoga or a walk—but you send it. Discarding your phone across the counter, it clattering, catching on the plate as you bury your face in your hands.

Tears, hot and thick—running down your wrists—not doing enough to numb you as you let them fall. Disbelief doubles as hope is swallowed whole, your throat filling with sobs you feel forced to let spill—etching their way into the silence, fracturing it, cracking what should be laughter, but is instead loneliness.

It’s why you’re thankful they reply with a yes, giving it no more thought as you blow out the candle in the centre of the table, ending the night before it even began.

Frankie wakes to darkness.

It’s a comfort, the way it blankets him, allows the little shadows to rest easy against the ceiling from his open curtains—it is all soothing, relaxing. It even almost allowed him to curl back into the comfort of his sofa. His blanket—the one you bought him—cast over the lower part of his legs.

Then he remembers.

Eyes widening, blinking furiously as he throws his legs from the sofa, hand grabbing—making all sorts of noise on his coffee table—until his phone screen illuminates and he sees the time.

Late it spells.

It all a blaze, just in the form of numbers.

Fucking late it bellows.

Disorientation wraps around him as he shoves himself up to stand, fingers tugging at his curls until he imagines they’re more frizz than defined. Not even thinking—just grabbing. Phone, keys. Shoes barely on his feet as he yanks open his own door.

Calling you.

It rings. And it rings. Each unanswered drone of it doing something to the fragility of his heart. Making it quake, crackle at the edges.

All week, he’d done nothing but think of you. Think of holding you, burying himself close against you, not even asking you to shed layers, but rather just lying with him. Take in the weight of you that he finds all but a comfort.

I love you, he had planned to whisper. Mark it against your neck, just under your ear. Write it against your lips if you let him. Burn it anywhere else until you’re nothing but tattooed in praise and adoration.

“Pick up, baby,” he mumbles.

Ringing you again in the car.

The drive over tense, silent—the occasional dial tone echoing around the bed of his truck. His knuckles whiten at each red light, shoulders practically under his ears when he pulls onto your street. Something knotting, all horrible, riddled with vines and sharpness that cut into him with each breath he takes.

He’s not sure if he should be worried or thankful your car is in the drive—because the house is plunged into darkness. His boots clatter against your wooden steps, hammering on the short porch as he cracks his knuckles against the door.

Its echo, comes back to him—able to travel around in the silence and come back with an answer.

You’re not here.

But he knocks again, and again. Tears prick at the corner of his eyes, something clenched around his stomach, tightening and tightening as your name falls, all pleading, an edge to it that he hadn’t known was possible. But then, he hadn’t known he could begin splitting down the middle, the seams coming undone, his own might and willing not able to keep him together as the realisation he’d fucked up the one good thing he had.

The one good thing he didn’t even really have, too cowardly to tell you—too fearful that you’d stare at him blankly and tell him you don’t feel the same.

Because he’s been drowning in it, in this, in you, for so long, he knows how to just about keep his head from going under. He had been sure he could do it for longer, could stem his feelings, push them down. Until, you slept against him, fitting perfectly.

Until he woke with his arm draped over your waist, your leg tangled in his, staring at him with wonder and awe as you traced your name on his back.

He should have told you then it was the best thing he’s ever woken up to. A sight he had only dreamt of, but never imagined could even be true.

Pushing your key into the door, he’s greeted by darkness. It hovering its hand to him, welcoming him, even if the cold chill of the place was more than unsettling. He wanders, feet almost dragging, half hoping to find you sat in the dark, because at least then he could begin to make it up to you.

You’re not.

Moving through to your kitchen, all set to pass through to your bedroom, when something makes his eyes pull to your table, and he sees it.

Eyes landing on the set-up, from the plates to the glasses, to the orange dish in the centre—and his heart drops to his feet. It landed with a squelch, a thud which vibrates through him to the tips of him.

You made him food.

You broke a rule. You broke the rule.

His eyes beginning to well up, stinging, until one falls.

“Fuck,” he whispers.

Letting his hand run down his face, staring at his favourite meal—unable to unsee how congealed it was, how long it’s been sat there, existing, waiting.

“Fuck.”

an: forgive me 😘

CHAPTER NINE ->

#frankie morales x reader #francisco morales x reader #francisco morales smut #Frankie morales x reader smut #frankie morales x f!reader #frankie morales x you #jo: iltwy #triple frontier x reader #francisco morales fanfiction #triple frontier fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #francisco catfish morales x reader #catfish morales x reader #frankie morales smut #triple frontier smut #frankie morales x f!reader smut #pedrostories

[mildmayfoxe]

talkin bout. covid stuff. i'm not sick dont worry

as careful readers are aware ive been masking inside my own house to avoid whatever my roommates are up to for almost a month now. started jan 3. which like is fine its whatever i do feel stupid doing it but i would rather feel stupid than be killed or injured for life by a pandemic that everyone pretends is over. but ive been keeping an eye on all the various wastewater tracking both nationally and locally and the numbers were definitely getting MUCH better here considering that they were much higher than the national (which took me a lot longer to realize than it should have, i was just looking at graph go down and not what the actual copies per ml was ON the graph. stupid) so that's a positive change. but even though it was getting much better and i had high hopes for being able to stop masking in my HOUSE !!! everything now is indicating that the numbers are starting to go back up again which means im in for another lord nows how many more weeks wearing a mask and waiting six+ minutes every time i come back in my room before taking it off to let the air circulate first. and who knows if that's even effective! who knows how much air from the rest of the house is getting through the weather stripping tape i used to try to seal my door as best i could! and it's not the worst hardship in the world but i'm just tired. i haven't washed my face properly this whole time because i figured out how to shower with a mask on thankfully even though washing my hair is a challenge but my skin is so bad right now. and it's my birthday on thursday and i don't even feel comfortable going to my ONE friend's house so i dont have to be alone because i feel like i can't trust anyone because i don't know anyone who takes covid as seriously as i do. no one cares anymore and i can't afford to live alone but i dont know how much longer i can live like this. i'm so tired of being scared of everyone and i'm so tired of leaving my life on hold for a pandemic no one seems to want to do anything to end. not to even mention the ongoing GENOCIDE! not to be fucking DEPRESSING on main and i didn't mean to write this much but i'm just so sad. it's so hard to hope that things will ever get better. anyway 🤙🏻 the grief is never-ending but you still gotta do laundry or whatever

#chatpost #sorry i'm not in a good mood im just being sad under the cut

[bigmack2go]

I dont like the headcannon of davey being jewish.

Why? I am glad you asked!

Now listen dont get me wrong here!

Representation is so important especially for religions because in that department even the most popular ones r being bullied these days and then that religion isnt just any but the most hated one in history. The religion that was blamed for practically anything bad that has happened in the last 500-1000 years. In ww|| children didn’t even know this WAS a religion. In Germany they were taught that the word “jew” stood for a monster, like the wird rabbit stands for an animal. Idk if this makes sense but they LITTERALLY didn’t know any better which i personally find makes it worse. The ppl KNEW that they were wrong, and that they couldn’t convince poursouled children of anything unless they made up lies. The thing those children hated was justified. Anyone would hate a monster that only brings evil upon us. But they conected it to a name that describes something else.(the movie jojo rabit brings this accross extremely well and truthfull! It’s available on netflix and i think on prime!) And thats the problem. They knew they were wrong but they needed someone to blame for their own failures and problems. ANd WhO bEtTeR tHaN tHe OnEs ThAt HaVe BeeN aT bLamE fOr ThE pAsT 700 YeaRs???

This began with the germanians spreading Christianity around Europe when jews were still a majority. It was generally a seen as a sin to get along with a Christian, and as we all know in the middle age there have been some babaric events towarts (but also by) religious ppl.

In thirteen-sixty-something the thing got to a whole new level when in (i think it was italy but idk) a fountain was moisted with bacteria and brought back black plague for a lot of people, which obviously got word all around the world quickly. And with that obviously also rumours. The thing is that those rumors were LOADED.

Thats how the hatred toward jews specifically began. People thought they were witches that poisoned their food causing them all to get sick.

(Sry i didnt mean for this to turn into a history lesson hahaha)

So yeah. Representation is so important and I totally stand behind that!

That being said however i genuinely don’t like it with Davey and here’s why:

Im have no problem with the headcannon itself and obv not with people having thah headcannon. What bucks me is how that came to be.

It just feels sooo cliche taking the one character named david jacobs and saying he’s jewish.

I mean

Seriously

David jacobs

David. Jacobs.

David and jacob (lemme guess his sisters name is sarah hAHa- oh wait-)

Like it might be just me but that’s loaded with stereotype.

This might sound weird and/or mean but i genuinely get the feeling, the only reason ppl hc him as jewish is his name.

On top of that theres the fact that i generally just feel like its forced at this point. Again. I stand for representation with everything in me. but people just decided (rather than felt/knew) they needed to represent jewish folks and picked out ONE (1) (s i n g u l a r) character (LITTERALLY NAMED DAVID JACOBS!! Idk if u can tell but im getting rly worked up abt this)and said his family is jewish.

(Then if course theres the fact that i cant deal with the fact that he would have been killed at least in wa|| if not earlier due to being an non-arian jew but he prolly would be killed in one of the worldwars anyway so thats not much of an argument lol)

THATS IT! TYSM if u read this completely!

I also wanna take the opportunity to compell everyone to support palestina!!!!! I’ll put some links down below!

As a Christian i am lucky enough to not be bothered with shit by people i cant deal with but not everyone has that! So here’s just a gerneral reminder to educate and support people of any minority!!!

I will put some links so u can read up about the history of discrimination towards religion and jews!⬇️⬇️

1 Wikipedia article generally summarising antisemit!sm

2 definition

3 antisemit!sm+ history of rivalry between Christianity & Judaism

4 on discrimination and hate/ harassment towards religions in school and workplaces

5 discrimination WITHIN religion

6 some facts

7 using religion as an excuse to BE descriminating

8 read about judaism as a religion, rules and beliefs

#reminder that i have no clue is the numbers here are correct! #i dont mean to spread misinformation! #im just telling of my mind what i remember from history lessons!! #anyway this turned into a historry lesson and i didnt plan on that lol #feel free to correct me #i will cladly change this to fit accuracy!! #also this isn’t me telling you that your hc’s are wrong #its just something i wanted to say #newsies #newsie strike #newsies 1992 #newsies musical #david #davey #davey jacobs #david jacobs

[moonchildstyles]

Prosecco h’a girl being sick 😔 and not telling h bc she doesn’t want to worry him in his meetings 😔but her roommate (before they live together obv) texts h like I think she has the flu ☹️ so he shows up to their apt after work and she’s in front of the toilet 😔 and so embarrassed like h pls I don’t want you yo see me puking so gross 😔but he’s like baby I’m here to help you 😔and maybe runs he me a bath and spends the night rubbing her back wiping away her tears 😔he’s so perfect

Sorry ur having a bad day 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

omg:(((( since she doesn't have a roommate I almost feel like shes feeling super super sick but shes trying to go to class anyway bc shes trying to be better about he attendance esp since h wants her to do well w her classes and she wants him to be proud so she goes to class anyway but her friend ends up driving her home after one of her classes bc shes just not doing good and on the edge of nauseous and so when she goes home shes not checking her phone anymore but it keeps going off now and then w texts from h and when y/ns too busy puking to check she has her friend take a look and shes like ummmm I think its ur bf??? I can't see the messages but hes sent a few if you want me to look??? and y/n feels so bad bc they have their location shared w one another and he probs saw her go home in the middle of the day and hes so worried ofc so shes just like....can u just text him as me really quick telling him im okay hes in a bunch of meetings today I dont want him to worry :( and like her friend just feels......werid about that like y/n has a mad fever shes been vomming off and on and like her friend loves her ofc but she can't stay and take care of her she has her own classes she needs to go to so she ends up calling h from the other room and is like hi im one of her friends I took her home shes super super sick rn and I need to get back to class and um:( she doesn't want you to worry but I think it might be a good idea for u to come see her:( and before h can even really react hes just telling her friend thank you and to just please wait a minute bc he'll be there so soon and just being so grateful that she told him:( and as soon as hes there her friend kind f gives him a run down like she took medicine then but she hasn't tried eating anything and shes barely been drinking water and all of that and shes like I can grab any notes for her too while shes gone but bye I gotta go!!! and h is so happy and kind and grateful to this girl but hes already rushing to the bathroom before this girl has let herself out and as soon as y/n sees him in the bathroom shes so embarrassed and h:(((( your not supposed to be here go wait in the bedroom ill clean up in a minute im gross:(((( and h doesn't even listen to her bc he can see her breath hitch and like everything kind of change bc shes about to vom so hes already behind her making sure her hair is out of her face and hes rubbing her back and its okay sweetheart its okay its okay:( get it all out and you'll feel so much better don't worry:( and he just soothes her through like the end of it until shes all teary again and embarrassed and h sits on the floor w her holding her in his lap and shes just crying into his shoulder like as much as she didn't want him to see her like this she feels so much better having him here to take care of her and shes just decompressing and thank u for coming im sorry I took yu out of work:( and hes just shushing her like don't worry about that baby I already got them moved I just want you to worry about getting better:( making me so sad to see you so upset:( and he just takes his time getting her through her sick until shes calmed down alot and thats when he runs her a bath and helps coax her into eating a light dinner and sipping some more water and shes so exhausted and so is h but he def stays up during the night just sitting up in bed w her laid on his lap and hes dozing off here and there but he makes sure hes there if shes sick again:( love love love this soooo much :(

#anon #ask #prosecco inspo #concept #thank u so much this really does help my day get better:(

[arillusionist]

s&b season2ep4 reaction!! book update: i finished seige and storm. it was lwk boring and im literally so mad bc alina deserves SO much better than mal hes such a hoe. anyways

help whats going on i kinda forgot what happened in the last episode

time to go read my own reaction

HELL NAH ITS BEEN A WHOLE WEEK SINCE I WATCHED THIS SHOW?? anyways i kinda remember the last ep now but my reaction is mostly crows stuff so it wasnt That helpful

ANYWAYS

even though mal is muchhhhhh better in the show i like the direction theyre taking with alina actually marrying nikolai

then again i havent read the kos duology (yet) so i dont know anything abt his real romance story so thats probably why i dont mind

stop mal telling alina shes his nation is so cute unlike in the books

and the way they actually do have some chemistry?? im sorry for ever hating you show malina 😔😔

is that the brother i cant tell

why does baghra lwk piss me off ...i cant tell if its because she wont stfu or because shes js boring

GENYA ☹️☹️

🥱🥱

FINALLY

"it'll give me some comfort to know you're with me" ohhhdhfmyygodddd and then her smile ahhhh

i cant tell if inej is mistaking kaz telling her to leave the city as him wanting her gone, when in reality hes js tryna protect her

or if shes just not promising it because she cant

theyre so complicated they make me sick (i love them 😭😭😭)

AWW THE I LIKE YOUR STUPID FACE LINE its different but whatever

WAITT JESPER BASICALLY CALLED HIM AND KAZ BROTHERS AND KAZ DIDNT EVEN DISAGREE?? HE LITERALLY AGREED

no cuz i actually thought kaz was gnna punch him or something but thats nice

no mourners no funerals 🙏🙏

NINA DECKING KAZ HELL YEAH I NEEDED TO SEE THAT

Dont take this as me disliking kaz btw hes my 2nd favorite character i js need to see him being put in his place

i have the most out of pocket thing to say but im not gnna say it

there are two heartrenders right there why dont they just check his pulse to see if hes lying

oh now they do it

i feel like maybe this is how they incorporate the crows into alina's plot - they'll ask them to find the sword since theyre criminals and know more than just the "wider black market"

IM LITERALLY A GENIUS HELLO????

NOT ME PREDICTING IT LIKE 2 SECONDS BEFORE HE SAYS IT

they cant just show kaz and nina for two seconds and then cut to another scene hello

OH NVM its an inej scene 🙏🙏

its so dark i can barely tell whats happening

oh they did the pox thing too they really taking half of crooked kingdom's plot huh

yeah now they decide to explain the plan

kaz is actually being so much like book kaz in this scene

"the trick is not to love anything" YEAH YOU KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT... and with nina in the background too?? i wish inej was here tho like in the books

i think shes busy saving those randos

"something you'd sacrifice everything for and it makes you weak" stop projecting

SIX FEET DEEP

see inej really needs to be here now nina and jesper kinda know his backstory but she doesnt

then again its more meaningful if he tells her on his own time

HIS SMIRK

"im begging you" "are you?" hes not begging but i can

sorry

HIM ASKING FOR THE QUITCLAIM DEED FOR INEJ 🥺🥺 him liquifying everything he owns in the books is still better tho

THE LOOK IS HIS EYES - this is not freddy carter acting as kaz this is LITERALLY kaz

lmfaoo the offended look on toyla's face

WHYD THAT ACTUALLY SCARE ME (the guy sneaking up behind mal)

ok so i have a class so i'll watch the rest later

im backkk

seeing that vasily guys face after a few hours is such a jumpscare like why is he so ugly

bruh i jus realized theyre not gonna do the thing where inej cuts a line above pekkas heart 😐another kanej moment wasted

hjdkfk wylan hiding under the table when jesper asks him out

this conversation is so awkward i keep pausing it 😭

its cute tho

omg just kiss already the tension is getting to me

finally!!! 🙏🙏

WAIT FUCK I JS REALIZED THATS ANOTHER MOMENT WASTED CUZ THEY CANT DO THE JESPER KISSING THE WRONG GUY THING IF THE SPINOFF HAPPENS

im not really liking how they did wesper anyways.... with the whole one night stand thing... 😐

ok. yeah. wow. go from super cute fluffy wesper to kanej angst. yeah. remind me of what i dont have.

kaz saying that theres a weak link in the crew and inej thinks it means her but hes actually talking ab HIMSELF because shes his weakness and shes the person he would sacrifice everything for and AUGHHH

the difference between the show and the books when kaz gives her the paper is crazy

wish they had kept the book's scene fr

waittt is nikolai adopted??

oh he is

tamar and nadia definitely have something going on its already canon that nadia is into girls so!!

did the vasily guy die i hope he did 🙏🙏

why didn't baghra just. do that before. yk BEFORE she got her damn finger cut off

"your obsession with the fold is naive" is bro talking about alina or himself

and thats it watch me wait another week again before watching the next episode 💀

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #sab reaction

[justmywriting1313]

Writing Prompts list 1 (Miscellaneous but mainly hurt/comfort)

Okay so I made this and another one that will be up soon for you guys so that while you're waiting for the taken for granted fic part 2 and other stuff you can request this with any hq character you want!!! 

Format of asking with example:

HQ character name: Ushijima

Timeskip: Yes or no

Prompt number: 1, 56 and 64

One line in which you explain angst or fluff 

RULES:

No more than three prompts per request. 

DIALOGUE PROMPTS 

MISCELLANEOUS (Meaning I dont know how to categorise them and Its 2 am and I lost my patience tho knowing me its probabs all fluffy protective angst)

(Some are obviously romantic and fluffy so i’ll mark them with a 💜 but the rest are here and there kind of thing)

“I’m worried about you”

“I meant it when I said I would protect you”

“I’m not stepping aside until you back up”

“It’s too cold for you to come out here without a jacket on”

“I’ll go see what the noise was”

“Stay on the phone with me”

“Promise me you’ll be safe”

“I don’t feel comfortable with you going there on your own”

“They did what to you?”

“I won’t let you go through something like that again” 

“I’m not perfect, but I’m trying my hardest to do everything to keep you safe”

“Do you even see how pale you are?”

“No you’re not fine. you need help!”

“I’m going to fix you right up okay?”

“I can’t stand seeing you in so much pain”

“I need to clean you up first”

“There’s so much blood”

“As cute as you are when sick and needy get better now please” 💜

“Nothing’s gonna happen to me with you taking care of me right?”

“Don’t ever leave my sight again”

“Where are you going? Its not safe right now” 

“You’re scared of that aren’t you? I told you so”

“Don’t touch them... don’t you dare touch them”

“It’s cute that you tried to protect me and all that but you’re like a foot shorter than me you know?” 💜

“I will always step in between you and something like that”

“No don’t do that it’s not safe” 

“I’ll drive you but please please don’t go like this”

“Wait let me walk you home”

“I’m not gonna let you put up with that”

“Stay behind me”

“I love you of course I’m going to defend you like that”

“Are you planning to stay glued to my side this whole evening?” 💜

“I’m coming to get you... dont you dare move”

“You don’t actually expect me to just let you go do you?”

“I’m not leaving this place without you” 

“It’s your fault for expecting me to take this seriously” 💜

“You’re sleeping with me tonight”💜

“You’re cute when you’re angry”💜

“I never said I don’t think about you” 💜 

“Say the words and I’m yours” 💜

“Would it kill you to relax?”

“Thats the problem! you don’t think you deserve something so you ruin it” 

“I don’t want your apology”

“You’ve never hurt me ever...(before)”

“I let you down”

“Fuck what everybody else thinks” 

“This is quite possibly the last thing I had wanted to be doing tonight” 

“Do not touch that... I’m warning you”

“Get your ass over here before I drag you here myself”

“I think it’s adorable how easily you blush” 💜

“I just want to take care of you” 💜

“Don’t tell me not to worry because I’m going to do that anyway” 💜

“If you’re so cold why didn’t you say something?”

“Wait this was a bad idea, now my face is like a tomato” 💜

“They are too good for me... don’t ya think?” 💜

“God you’re so precious” 💜

“Whenever I kiss your cheek you light up like the red light on the police car” 💜

“If I kiss you once I will do it a hundred more times... i’m warning you” 💜

“I’ve learned that you telling me to ‘shut up’ is really just you saying ‘stop making me blush’“ 💜

“I don’t care that you’re sick...In fact you need more cuddles now than ever” 💜

“Tell me I’m cute or I’ll tickle you” 💜

“I love you you insolent cockroach so shut up and let me love you!” 💜

“The best way you could possibly cheer me up is to give me some space” 

“I’m sad and I’m going to keep being sad until you hug me” 💜

“I’m sorry... I must have been a really awful person to you for you to think I would do that to you”

“Tell me about your day sweetheart, let me make it better” 💜

“It’s not up for discussion, you’re my date” 💜

“Baby please shut the fuck up... said with love and care” 💜

“Nothing is wrong with you”

“Tell me what’s wrong? please please please tell me whats wrong” 

“If you don’t want to keep standing may I suggest sitting in my lap? Much recommended. Great comfort quality” 💜

“You’re being cute and sweet. It’s making me want to kiss you” 💜

“I can’t help it, you’re fun to mess with” 💜

“Please don’t shut me out” 

“I can’t believe you haven’t noticed, I’m screaming for someone to notice, to help me, and yet no one does” 

“Is it that hard to ask for help?”

“We’re on the same team why the hell are you hiding things from me?”

“OMG is that why you’ve been wearing that sweater so goddam much”

“You’re okay?? Really you're okay? cause this doesn’t fucking look like it”

“Try to eat something please” 

“I’ll protect you... they’ll never touch you again” 

“Your ability to distract me is unmatched” 💜

“You promised me... you promised me you wouldn’t be reckless” 

“I feel like I’m going to love you for a very long time” 💜

“As long as we dont separate in the crowd I’ll be fine” 

“You told me you were okay... you promised me you were okay”

“How does anyone expect me to deal with this?”

“Hush now, It’s alright. you’re not alone” 💜

“I love you even when you’re sleepless, annoying and frustrated or rather frustrating” 💜

“You’re my baby, and i’ll be damned if anyone tries to say otherwise” 💜

“My future has you in it. Everything else is just a bonus” 💜

“If you think I’m not sleeping on your chest/boobs all night you’re wrong” 💜

“Are you ashamed of me?”

“I might’ve just lost the only good thing to have happened to me”

“Just one more chance please I’ll do anything”

“Well you're not allowed to leave me ever okay please promise promise never”

“I’m sorry I won’t do it again”

“Can you keep holding my hand please” 

“Let me hug you” 💜

“You always duck away when you smile... please let me see you” 💜

“Like I expected you're much comfier than my pillow” 💜

“You came back?”

“I promised you this didn’t I”

“I love you a lot more than you will ever believe” 💜

“Quit smiling at me, I cant stop messing up my sentences when you look at me like that” 💜  

“Wait dont pull away not yet” 💜

“I’ll feel better if you let me walk you home” 💜

“If I do this you have to promise to kiss me” 💜 

��It’s my turn to use, my turn to hurt someone else instead of being hurt...” 

“Im like 99% sure this is illegal” 

“This is my favourite day ever” 💜

“I’m not moving. Your lap is comfy” 💜 

“You’re my new pillow” 💜 

“Please dont make me answer that”  

“Did you just hiss at me” 

“Its 6 in the morning. You are not having vodka”

“What was I supposed to do? the kids they ambushed me” 💜 

“You dont know what you do to me do you?” 💜 

“I just want you to be safe. Thats all Ive ever wanted for you” 

“I love you.. I do but I need you to go away because you’re really bloody distracting and I really have to pass this test tomorrow okay?” 💜

“You weren’t there... why weren’t you there?” 

“I’m going to die and I’m going to die with an absolute idiot” 

“Lie to me please I’m begging you lie to me. Make me feel whole again” 

“What am in your life? Because as of lately I feel as though I have been nothing to you” 

“Fight me you stuffy bitch? Come o whatch’ya gonna do? you're just a stuff toy nothing more nothing less” 💜

“you're about as intimidating as a Chihuahua” 💜

“Come back to bed” 💜 

“No I’m supposed to be making you feel good” 💜

“Hey god I dont know if you're up there or listening but please please make this work out... this one has to be it, the one that stick okay?” 💜 (This would be brilliant with atsumu)

“My friends keep telling me to fix this...tell me how to fix it” 💜 (This as well) 

“I don’t remember a fight or any reason for a break up so why?”

“Give me one reason... any reason at all to fall out of love with you please”

“Quit trying to fix me when you need to fix yourself”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I thought you trusted me?

“What you did was stupid, reckless and dumb and exactly why I can’t leave you alone” 

“I dont want to do this without you” 

“Im sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me” 

“Did you do this to yourself?” 

“You know you try to hide it even though I can see right through you right?” 

“Theres something you’re not telling me” 

“Whats wrong with you? what the hell happened back there and I told you to stay by my side” 

“No I dont want to say goodbye not when I just got you back”💜

“You think its funny but its not. That hurts a lot” 

“I’ll always love you but trust is a different question entirely” 

“I dont want to live without you but that doesn’t mean I cant... dont make me prove it”

“I’d give up so much for just one more chance” 

“I need to go fix what I had with them”

“I want an answer and I’m not leaving without one” 

“I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending they're you” 

“ And what happens if I do this” 

“You make me want things I can’t have” 

“When you love someone you just dont stop... its not a switch you can flick on and off... ever even when everyone around you roll their eyes and call you crazy... especially then” 💜

“I cant be your secret... not anymore”   

“Don’t you dare tell me to give up on you and us like you, me and what we had didn’t mean anything cause I’ll do anything.. go to the ends of the earth and burn world and people down but giving up on this is the one thing I can’t do”

“I’m allowed to be obsessed with you Im your spouse” 💜

.

Part 2 will be up soon! 

Consider donating to my Ko-Fi: Ko-fi.com/justmywriting1313 :)

#prompt list #dialogue prompt #HQ WRITING #HQ fics #hq imagines #hq headcanons #hq angst #hq fluff #haikyuu fandom #haikyuu fic #haikyuu prompts #angst prompt #fluff prompts #hurt/comfort #hurt/comfort prompts #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x plus size reader #obey me! #obey me fic #obey me x reader #obey me prompts #obey me prompt list #obey me fanfic #obey me angst #obey me fluff #obey me writing

[despite-everything]

im gonna rant a little

this fucking sucks because im actually very upset with my best friend and their partner. we're close friends and tend to agree on important things, so of course i assumed they were both still wearing masks indoors - specifically, at work, in class, and while in stores. i personally dont wear a mask at home or when visiting friends homes, or when at jiu jitsu (you like... cant wear a mask there. so yes it is an exposure risk but even with a mask, at that proximity its all but useless), and i figured they were in the same boat where i didnt see them wearing masks because we were always hanging out at our own apartments, outside, or in my private office at work (where its safe to remove cause im alone). but it turns out i was wrong about that.

my friends partner (we're friends? but she has been a bit erratic lately and i cant fucking predict her and so i dont even know where we stand anymore. it fucking sucks to have someone go hot-and-cold on you all the time, but i believe that she's fundamentally more mature than this behavior suggests and believe that she is working to do better, and since she's with my best friend, i'm more tolerant of that behavior than i would be with someone else) got sick and said she was sick yesterday, and i was thinking about how both of them have gotten ill a fair amount the past few months. despite masking, i also got sick twice, so i didnt think too much of it before. but yesterday i was like... wait. how the fuck are they getting sick so often if theyre wearing masks. and asked about it - turns out, they've really only been wearing masks in places like airplanes. yeah, they're both vaccinated and boosted, but what the fuck.

anyway, i just got a text saying they both feel sick now and i genuinely dont have any fucking sympathy at all right now. like... i dont want to be a dick but if you stop wearing masks and then suddenly start getting sick all the fucking time that just proves why masks are so important??? like what the fuck. and honestly i feel like i maybe misjudged them in a way? like i still care and we're still friends but i feel hurt and shocked that they would both just decide to stop masking everywhere and put people at such a risk and think so little of it that it never comes up in conversation.

and i want to talk to them about it but i really dont know how... like i said, my friends partner has been incredibly inconsistent and unpredictable in her behavior towards me and i cant imagine this conversation going well. i think for now im just not going to respond to the text and stop checking in for a couple days cause im pissed. usually, when they're sick, i check in daily and offer to go to the store/cook food/help out where i can, but i am not fucking willing to do it this time. this fucking sucks.

#ive texted them both a few times in the past day trying to be normal #but im actually very angry right now. #and im not immunocompromised... but other people are #and last time i got covid i had 103+ fevers and despite 5-6 cold showers a day i think i cooked my fucking brain #and now i have memory issues and a new difficulty when speaking or writing i never had before #and i got violently ill when i got my vaccine + boosters. i do NOT react well to this illness #and just the knowledge that the people i trusted the most didnt even think to tell me they werent masking anymore? #that hurts. its their right yeah but i would have changed my behavior around them sooner #and it just feels so selfish of them. the pandemic is still happening. i feel crazy being one of a few in my classes wearing a mask #like why did you all stop??? do you want people to die?????????????? #im being a little dramatic but im upset for real #especially now that ive had a little time to think on it #tree talks

[dumbbitchfrommars]

MERCURY YOU CRAZY GIRL!

to be completely fucking honest. im terrified. im terrified of the fact ive pushed this away for so long when it feels like everyone has known it before i did. its not fair. its not fair that everyone should know me better than me. its embarrassing, and frustrating. but she's so lovely and kind and cares about me. and would never talk badly on me, and would never shame me or make me feel bad about myself. like GENUINELY, genuinely, always wants the best for me. which is crazy. crazy because its so rare, when i have tried to emulate that energy for so many before.

interestingly though. i always say how i try to be this safe person, this loving kind caring yada yada - but really, am i though? i try to be, for sure. i try my very best. but im never quite there. my own insecurity gets the better of me and i turn into the harsh critic and judge that i can be to my own self. but she would never, is never, and it inspires me. ive already changed so much for the better in the time since we met and became close and began our adventures together. that's what it is - an adventure. is that not everything ive been asking for and manifesting?

she's literally my soulmate that ive been dreaming of and asking for and manifesting and describing in detail for the past, what, year? maybe just less. anyway. i was so overwhelmed and scared. which is fair enough! she sprung it on me out of fucking nowhere. like genuinely felt like it came from left field. which makes it more fun and exciting for me. like not only am i worthy of that, but she really waited to make certain we were both ready for that. is it because i wanted to go back to my ex, and that stupid fucking taurus boy? she saw i was ready to open my heart again. though clearly for the wrong people.

but i should be wary... its mercury retrograde. also what if it doesnt work? what if im not ready ? its been so long ive been in my comfort zone. i dont want to stay there anymore. its boring and stagnant and stale and im sick of it. i want to grow. growth means discomfort. growth means taking a leap of faith. i quit my job, i did the crazy things i told myself i couldnt for years and years, im just living. im doing things for the sake of doing them because i can and its my right. and now... this is just the next thing god has planned for me. my twin flame in the form of a beautiful warm completely magnetic taurus woman who sees and brings out the absolute best in me. thats actually crazy.

i am still wary though. i have to do this carefully. because neither of us want to ever lose each other, of course, and shes my best friend. the whole dynamic of everything is about to change so we have to be slow, and tentative, and ever so careful. i dont want to hurt her. i dont wanna be the person who hurts her again... shes been through enough.

its funny... its funny to look back and realise every single one of my closest female friendships was like this. all the ones that ended messy - could it have been uncommunicated, unrealised feelings for eachother? one sided feelings for each other? or just chaos on both ends. or all of it. i do think i failed to realise how much my bisexuality and confusion in my feelings for my friends had impacted the dynamic and how i ended the friendship (or how they ended it and it hurt me). also - SO MANY TAURUSES?!

why is it always a taurus. ? apparently this is gods reminder that i need to slow down, enjoy life and take extra moments for the simple pleasures in life. like this! writing, my one true love. it would be so nice if God could grant me a burst of inspiration, because i miss writing. i miss getting into the flow state of creating. of building a world that i get to come back to whenever i feel like it, for an escape or for a reminder of how big, beautiful and wonderful my brain really is.

anyways, that was all. ill check back in a couple of weeks when the next massive change happens and my world is flipped upside down again. also crazy - i think i lost my malachite. served your purpose, have you?

[chronicbloodynoses]

honestly mbikmb is actually me rn

the drum - i feel such a depressive cycle everyday and im not getting fucked up bc i cant w my situation but if i could i prob would b!

happy news 4 sadness - my ex lied 2 me constantly + my perception of love is actually so fked up after him and i constantly tried 2 change myself and use sexual stuff for him 2 love me (he treated me like shit and then convinced me i wanted too much from him)

sunburned shirts - honestly i see this as a nostalgia where it ends up not being what you remember, he used 2 look at the sun and he thought of it fondly, but it hurt more than he remembered

stoop kid - its me! im stoop kid! ive been so conditioned to my mother's baby-ing and when i try to be independent im not allowed and then i get yelled at for never helping out and im terrified to leave bc shes constantly saying that i'll fail completely on my own! also in my later "growing up" yrs i watched hey arnold LOL

something soon - i feel so strongly abt this song. trying to do things to keep from losing it + cutting off my hopes bcuz i feel incapable, i feel like the only way i'll ever b seen is to cause problems! break shit! my mother talked a whole bunch of shit about my dad so now i'll never ever see him the same despite him never actually doing anything to me! i both fear and hate him and miss him and wish i had a dad!!!!! treating what im going through as the past to keep myself from focusing on my problems so i dont kms!!!! wanting to hurt myself to have some reason to be upset!!!! wanting to express my emotions but never being able to!!!! if i cant feel better soon then im actually gonna lose my shit GENUINELY! i am completely unable to tell my mother anything bc either it has to do w her and she can do no wrong or its my fault how i feel! (fun fact- i got yelled at in eighth grade 4 listening to help let me go danny gonzalez bc of the kidnapping a girl part and my music is "too dark" LOL (she threatened to send me to a mental hospital on the same car ride to school)) this town is freezing cold!!! i need out!!!!!!! im not allowed to do laundry and my mom barely does it and acts like if i literally have no underwear then its the hardest thing in the world and i have to wait til bc shes constantly too tired (girl i just wore my last pair and im NOT wearing the ones with holes in them) wanting to be somethig more and never feeling content. ignoring my problems w content and procrastinating to complete guilt, i want to leave n sneak out (i literally could ive snuck someone in multiple times b4 LOL), if i dont romanticize what im going through i'll ACTUALLY fucking lose it (im already inching toward a breaking point xP) i hate this house!!!! ive grown up in the same butt fuck nowhere town in the same horrible traumatic house!!!!!!! i need!!!!!!!! to escape!!!!!! so bad!!!!!

guys we're halfway through the album LOL

no passion - this song is actually so depressed dancing 4 me but i honestly dont really listen 2 this one much n think abt the lyrics so no comment VERY EXTREMELY sorry for no passion fans i WILL think of u and listne 2 it more

father, flesh in rags - i love/hate this song honestly, like it kinda reminds me of my ex (scoliosis! his relationship w his dad was a big problem of our relationship!) thats all u get it kinda hurts LOL not in a way of missing him but i get really upset thinking abt all the shit i put up w and forgot abt bc of my SEVERE case of rose coloured glasses

strangers - im actually wanting to create are 4 this song LOL anyway this song is less specific 4 me (honestly i burnt out from something soon LOL) but i too am not gonna last much longer! im sofa king sick of it!!!! all of it!!!!!!

lawns - its okay will my dad left too <3

pow - fun fact my great grandpa was a prisoner of war! he was taken while he was in a plane over russia and there he learned the language in his 3 years there n idk if he escaped or was let go but hes honestly such a cool guy like! love him but he died when i was really young so i didnt get much of a relationship w him but if i was a great grandparent i'd be really happy 2 meet my great grand kid so im really happy i got to meet him

open-mouthed boy - i too call god a SHIT and then scamper off

ne way im so obsessed w car seat even if i dont have much to say and im just saying a bunch of nothing burgers i have so much appreciation for everything car seat headrest has done even w the songs i dont like (im looking at you hymn and famous) i know somewhere other people like them n are also so affected by car wseat and its just like wowzerz! love this band sofa king much! cant wait to see them live in june!!!!!

[sunflowersnpearls]

Husbands' words are not matching actions and vice versa. Hes been "venting" to "me" in front of our oldest (turning 16 may 10) on our "current" marriage?....problem(s).

I tried my best to keep my mouth shut and one time he asked me to play a song so I for one am so plugged up i cant really hear much, sometimes even music is too loud (sensory processing disorder) and I guess i didnt even hear him say something and the child caught on to what was happening and said "you're ignoring dad again"

So i spoke to her instead of him since she said it, & I said "I didnt ignore him. I didnt hear him. I was hyper focused on the song he requested me to play."

And then he went on just one of many other rants in front of her, asking "you dont think I ever hyper focus on anything? When Im home on my days off, I feel like im your servant" All day anytime I asked for help, to him I was demanding it and not appreciating stuff he did and then he would not stop talking about every single thing he did today around the house and for our children and its like.... ok cool.

And people get paid to do what i do here at home, every single day all day long. Didn't say it would be easy, however I did ask for help. He tried to say he understands im frustrated bcuz im home all day and i guess i interrupted and was rude bcuz i said "Its not THAT, at all" (cuz its...not?) Lastly i stumbled upon his fave song & started playing it & asked him to plz get me my night meds bcuz I am so fucking cold to the touch, esp to others. And moving makes it hurt.:// He said "You can just not play the song now. Thanks." So uhh.. Like all I am learning here is 1) I need to stop asking him to help me w/ literally anything and like he has said in the past which I clearly shouldve listened to: "If you (*me doing this: "cough" "cough") WANT something RIGHT NOW!, I'll have to get up and get it myself or wait until I he is ready to do it." And 2) I've been right all along. I cant count on even my own Husband so like uhh.... okay. And Now to him, I'm just a burden. Let alone ya know, i guess having influenza and not doing shit around the house "today" (literally just today, and actually, i still did some stuff which is better than none lol) and hes acting like he deserves a fucking gold medal. For what? Being a husband a father and taking responsibility of everything whilst your wife is ill? K. Never asking you for shit now. Ill send lists to him at work if the house needs anything. He hasnt had sex from me in a month because for the past 2 months steady, I have been sick with an upper respiratory virus affecting my asthma and everything else and now this so uhh, my bad. Next time I'll just faint (again) & hit my head probably (again) and then maybe, theyll see that hes just gonna send me by myself and come pick me up when Im done being in there because he has to sleep for work tomorrow. Not to ya know, dare mention that if the bulging disc in my spine "RUPTURES", all signs & symptoms of paralysis will hit fast & clearly that would become a huge Emergency Situation... So I was "told to do it anyway" by him even after explaining the deck was covered in thick broken shattered ice chunks and with my slip on shoes that are the only shoes i can wear, I told him "I'm not doing that" and now it's my fault it was left outside until when he came home (3 1/2 hours before home). I feel as if my health is a major burden to him and maybe its time for me to get an inhome nurse... Some people just arent built to take care of anyone else. And maybe idk, maybe he is starting to see that I a really honestly, not in love with him at this point anymore. Maybe tomorrow or next month or next whatever, or maybe never will I be back in love with him.It seemed to me like the exact day that he was hired on as a manager at his workplace, things shifted. He dropped a huge bomb on me. I had to then last night, inform my family that I'm doing gene testing to see if i am a carrier of a breast cancer gene for reasons. They're also testing for thyroid & ovarian seeing as those run heavily. My chances before gene testing was uncomfortable to talk to our 3 kids about but they were as accepting as they can be, as their Mother my main priority should be my health so that Incan get better so that I can continue to do what I freaking LOVE DOING SO MUCH!!!!!! Like I truly do so why continually, continually say outloud in front of the 3 kids that "well I've done all of this and all of this because you asked for help" and it all started over me asking him if he can take lily her cup of water since shes coughing so badly. My flu/asthma/sinus shit is awful and my heart problem make it hard for me to walk sometimes let alone climb stairs.... He's acting like he deserves a gold medal when im always keeping the house up and im not doing that. What im doing is showing him what all i have to do during the day, some updates on what i dod and whatever else i wanna send.

I told him that its unfair to us completely that he doesnt turn off "Manager" when he walks through the door. He had a conversation to me and said hes not gonna be able to shut that off when he comes home and he has to take on so much responsibilities and he feels like he needs to be inside the house alone without myself or the kids or the pets for like half a year to get his straight. Bruh. Like no. Just do better. Idk how many people told me that Id never do this and id never do that and here i am proving them wrong every single day.

But every time he speaks to me like this, I am taken back to a time where I was told "your mother never should've made you." At i think 4-5 years old? I am disabled for many reasons. And I can tell everyone all the time until I'm fucking blue in my own face that, when I say that I cant do something and I ask for help, the help is met with a "your legs work" or "you're capable. You just dont wanna wait" No duh. Thats why i said "now please". Would you rather I give you another reason to hit me 3x flat-cupped handed times on my face again and say that "If I wanted it right now and could have gotten it right now for myself"

Im tired of asking for help and being treated like nothing other than a burden and his biggest fucking problem. How was I supposed to know that I was going to this sick on your 2 days off and that every time I asked for anything, you were upset.

I guess i was right and I'm just a different person now because of trauma processing and healing. But being sick enough to make 4 separate appointments during the 2 month span and if this gets worse, this one too. So I feel like he wants me to say something to him or do something for him, but all Im getting from this is "do not ask me for anything". Isnt your spouse supposed to be the one taking care of you when youre sick? Hes already lost me emotionally. And right before our ten year wedding annivarsary. Cool.

Advice?

[81scorp]

My top 8 movies of 2023

Hey folks! Its that time again! 2023... the year that I finally went back to the cinema again after having been away from it since 2020.* It was also the first time that I got sick after having been healthy and sickness free for four years (thanks to good hand hygiene and social distancing). It was only a matter of time I suppose. But now you dont have to wait to the end of 2024 for my list of movies I saw in 2023 thats ranked according to my own personal taste and bias! Why 8? Because Im not a professional filmcritic who has time to see most of the movies that came out this year and sometimes other duties got in the way. So I only had time to see 8 movies in the cinema**.

(*Unless you count that time I saw No time to die, which was in 2021.) **Actually, I only had time to see 7. One of these films was on Netflix. I was gonna make it a top 7 list but I decided to put it on my list since: A: the film came out 2023. and B: I technically saw it in its intended format since it never had a theatrical release. So its not like I missed an opportunity to see it in theaters.

But anyway, with all the technicalities of the way, here are the movies…

8: Antman and the wasp: Quantumania Scott Lang, his daughter Cassie, Hope Van Dyne, Dr. Hank Pym and Janet Van Dyne are all sucked into the Quantum realm. When trying to get back to their own world they run into an evil man named Kang, hijinx ensue. It did not exceed my expectations but it didn`t go below them either. I expected the usual MCU quality from this and was not dissapointed. Safe and familiar. Not great, not bad, just OK.

7: The Marvels Carol Danvers teams up with her old friends daughter Monica and Kamala Khan, a big admirer of her, thanks to the power of an ancient, alien bling to fight an angry Kree woman who wants to fix her home planet at the cost of other planets, Hijinx ensue. Like Quantumania I didnt expect this to be better than the average MCU movie and was not disappointed. Its higher on the list than Quantumania because Iman Vellani is fun and I like the musical scene. Its OK.

6: Wish Reminds me of Bryan Singers Superman Returns, in that it is a love letter and homage to something that came before it, but other than that it is not much else. I wanted this movie to do better at the box office, but I also wanted it to be better. People are disappointed in this because this was supposed to be a milestone, the movie made to celebrate that the Disney animation studio has been around for 100 years! It just couldnt live up to the hype. But if you take all the hype out of the equation and just view as its own thing its… OK. I liked it more than Pocahontas. The script could have been polished a little and the songs could have been better (especially "This is the thanks I get"). Like I said, it`s OK. Worth a watch.

5: The Super Mario Bros. Movie At first I had some reservations about Chris Pratts voice coming out of Marios mouth, but it quickly grew on me. Wasnt too crazy about Fred Armisens as Cranky Kong though, but he didnt have much screentime. It may be a movie about Super Mario, but it is also made by Illumination, and there were times where I could feel their fingerprints on the movie. Of course, Why shouldnt there be? They made it after all. Yes, but remember, Illumination made Minions, the cinematical equivalent of entertaining a one year old by dangling your car keys in front of them. There was one scene where they used used Ahas "Take on me" that had me scratching my head and wonder if that really was the best song for that scene. Good despite being an Illumination movie. Id tell you to go see it, but judging from its box office theres probably a chance that you already have.

4: M3gan After her parents die in a car accident, eight year old Cady is sent to live with her aunt Gemma who works as a roboticist at a high-tech toy company. Gemma has built a humanoid child-sized doll powered by artificial intelligence called M3gan. M3gan becomes Cadys companion, babysitter and does things that Gemma doesnt have time to do, like play with her and reminding her to flush the toilet. Then after a while, things go sideways and M3gan starts to become overprotective of Cady. This movie reminds a little about the Nighmare on Elmstreet sequels in that it isnt afraid to be silly. Right from the start it tells us with a commercial for a silly toy that it is a comedy and a satire. In that way its similar to Paul Verhoeven`s Robocop. It has comments about parenting, the use of A.I. in todays society and it makes you ask questions, like: Would M3gan have stayed good if Cady had remembered to flush that damn toilet?

3: The boy and the heron Mahito, a young boy who lost his mother in a hospital fire during World War 2 moves into a new home in a rural area to live with his father and his new wife, Natsuko. One day Natsuko disappears and when Mahito looks for her he meets a peculiar grey heron who at first tries to mislead him but then helps him in his search for Natsuko. It takes a while for the plot to get moving and some of the characters feel a little underwritten. That little criticism aside, its an interesting, visually beautiful and very surreal movie. A welcome alternation from the other animated big studio movies that Ive seen so much of lately. The kind that is aimed at such a broad, general audience that you can really feel how focused grouped it was. It is very unapologetically a Miyazaki movie.

2: Nimona In a futuristic medieval kingdom surrounded by a great wall, Ballister Boldheart, the first commoner to become a knight, is framed for the murder of the Queen. When trying to clear his name and prove his innocence he runs into Nimona, a chaotic shapeshifter who helps him in his endeavour. Ballister learns a few things about his sidekick but also about the kingdom he had sworn to protect. It gets a better spot than The boy and the heron because it feels more accessible, like it wanted to reach a wide audience but at the same time still keep some artistic integrity. If I have any criticism its aimed at the character Todd. He feels like a character from an Illumination movie that accidentally wandered on to the set and no one had the heart to tell him that he was in the wrong place, so they just let him be in the movie. It does the "3D that looks 2D" a little better than Wish, is fun and has some sincere, heartfelt moments. Its message is important, not just in this time but had it come out earlier it would still have been just as important. It dares to do a little more than most animated movies that has come out lately and the fact that it was made and released at all with it`s troubled production history is itself pretty damn impressive.

And now… My number one pick…. will be revealed after an honorable mention!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem Its the story that you have heard before: Four turtles and a rat get mutated to a more humanoid shape and size thanks to some goo, they live in the sewers and fight bad guys using ninjitsu. But here is a little new take on that old story: This time the four turtles are curious about and want to be part of the surface world but their mentor and father figure forbids them because he is prejudiced against humans. So its basically "TMNT meets The little mermaid". The Turtles feel more like teenagers in this one than they have in any of the previous movies. It has an anarchic, juvenile charm, deliberately misshapen design on some characters and beneath the immature humor there is also alot of sincerity. Its familiar, different, its funny. Give it a watch.

Why is this an Honorable Mention? Because like Nimona I didnt see it in the cinema but unlike Nimona it did have a theatrical release and in these lists I make Im very much about the movies Ive seen in the cinema, which is the best place to see a movie. Because of that I was hesitant to put it on this list but decided to include it since it came out 2023. Also, I didnt know where to put it on my list. I think I`d place it higher than Wish.

And now… Drumroll please. My number one pick for 2023 iiis…

1: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 If I had a nickel for everytime a movie made in 2023 that had Chris Pratt in the lead role had “No sleep 'til Brooklyn” in its soundtrack Id have two nickels. Which isnt much, but its weird that it happened twice. It has jokes and funny moments but they dont cut off the moments that are sincere and heartfelt, it gives them room to breathe, (take notes Marvel). It feels like the end, not of a book, but of a chapter (because, lets be real, this is Marvel). A chapter has ended and James Gunn made sure to put a lot of work and love into telling a story that would feel right for the characters and their journey. In this day and age where many movies, atleast the Disney ones, have to have badguys with sympathetic backstories, or last minute redemptions, Chukwudi Iwujis High Evolutionary is a welcome change of pace. A modern day Dr Mengele so obsessed with creating a perfect society with the perfect race that he doesnt care who or how many dies in the process. In the end you are really rooting for this guy to get his ass handed to him. Even if it`s made clear in the post credit scenes that this is not the end and that we will see more of the Guardians, this movie gives a feeling of conclusion. You did good, Gunn. You did good. Also, congrats on having the first F-bomb in the MCU!

And those are the movies I saw in 2023.

Movies I wanted to see in 2023 but didnt get the chance to because of time or other duties: Oppenheimer, Barbie, Indiana Jones and the dial of destiny, Elemental and Cocaine bear.

Movies Im looking forward to in 2024 are: Dune 2, Deadpool 3, Inside out 2 and Furiosa: A Mad Max saga.

I hope that 2024 is, if not a good year for movies, then atleast not a bad one.

Written stuff: 53

Started writing this: 2023-12-24

I`m a little late with this one, but better late than never as they say.

Atleast I got it out before february, I consider that a win.

And as usual: English is not my first language, so if my writing doesn`t seem to flow naturally, you know why.

#movies #movie review #movie list #81scorp #written stuff

[lostacelonnie]

Thats entirely fair i don't think anyone trusts tumblr to work correctly tbh. Ive just been feeling the seasonal blues a bit. Ah heck why do teachers always do that instead of letting up on the workload. I do have a bit of chill time coming up thankfully which will be great because i need rest & to holiday shop. Oh heck i cant imagine that like. Americans are a mixed bag of overly friendly & minders of their own business but a place where its all overly friendly would be a culture shock to me. That feels like the universal experience with talking to native spanish speakers just. Yeah we can guess kinda what's bein said through context & gesticulating. Finding a few recipes you can do & rolling from there is just how it goes i imagine. But ive been cooking for many years so i had to branch out to keep some variety otherwise meals would be boring. I have wireless earbuds but only because like. People talk to me often when im not expecting it & it bothers me a lil because the mental illnesses so its easier to listen to stuff & use that as my reason for not hearing them. Australia truly is the land of wild shit. Its got that category on lock. Wow thats like. Complete spectrum opposite teachers? Almost? Maybe? Though how does a math teacher not know counting was she just tired one day or is that common? Thats entirely fair i don't think anyone trusts tumblr to work correctly tbh. Ive just been feeling the seasonal blues a bit. Ah heck why do teachers always do that instead of letting up on the workload. I do have a bit of chill time coming up thankfully which will be great because i need rest & to holiday shop. Oh heck i cant imagine that like. Americans are a mixed bag of overly friendly & minders of their own business but a place where its all overly friendly would be a culture shock to me. That feels like the universal experience with talking to native spanish speakers just. Yeah we can guess kinda what's bein said through context & gesticulating. Finding a few recipes you can do & rolling from there is just how it goes i imagine. But ive been cooking for many years so i had to branch out to keep some variety otherwise meals would be boring. I have wireless earbuds but only because like. People talk to me often when im not expecting it & it bothers me a lil because the mental illnesses so its easier to listen to stuff & use that as my reason for not hearing them. Australia truly is the land of wild shit. Its got that category on lock. Wow thats like. Opposite spectrum of teachers maybe? Though how does she not know counting was she just tired one day? Noted for sure ill pay closer attention to the honkai meta. Yknow i hope what a herscherr is gets explained because i still dont know. Oh thats cool to know i will make a note of that polish phrase to try & remember linguistics can be fun. Ah yeah for sure they actually put effort into like. Making neuvillette have a story & be interesting & it shows. Only genshin male i care for probably. Oh hey stigmatism gang. Im farsighted with a stigmatism also so same hat. I always forget about talents & weapon leveling but it works out its all good. A 7 am as well jeesh are you good? This arc is very good & i cant wait to see where it goes wataoshi owns my attention now. Oh yeah i saw you mention noita how is it? Damn. Thats a lot of lore shoutout to himeko the mvp. Love her. What exactly is a honkai anyways are they like. The antimatter legion from star rail. Or well are the legion like the honkai beasts? Also do you have any seele lore? Also also glad you saw the polish post i had hope you would

this website will forever be scuffed JSJDSKDJF. and dont worry me too. its Getting Bad Again but soon its gonna be the winter solstice and i always start feeling better when the days get longer again. and god yeah fr...... we literally have so many grades already CAN THEY CHILL. luckily i got sick again so i didnt have to go to school today and im guessing im not gonna have many lessons to catch up on since its our last Proper day before the holidays and we have pretty easy subjects on wednesday so. we chillen. yeah same thank GOD for the holidays. tho im gonna have to deal with my family for like an entire week which. auuugh. dont wanna. but oh well ill get through it Somehow. AND GOD YEAH with being polish is much more noticable bc ppl here just really will avoid any unnecessary interaction with strangers [which is perfectly fine by me i like not being bothered]. but yeah the gesticulation Does help a lot in communicating. at the end of the day, as long as the message gets conveyed, it doesnt really matter How that was accomplished. i usually order takeout to my school since we have a program like that so i dont really have to cook that much, but yeah i should also probably branch out SJDKGK i dont know howw much longer i can survive on scrambled eggs every time i cant eat at school. yeah fair, i use my headphones to avoid conversations as well, tho luckily i have friends that are generally chill about the fact i will just. Not talk sometimes so i dont even have to do that a lot. and yeah we actually joke about how exactly opposite they are JSKFJG and its. a common occurence. but then again my school is just Not that great so nobody is surprised. good luck with the meta!!! its hellish at first but gets a bit easier with every built valkyrie so just trust the process. AH IM SORRY i unfortunately have a bad habit of using honkai specific terms as if theyre common knowledge. my bad. but essentially, the honkai itself is like. a force, i guess is the best word? that, despite being non-sentient, has one goal: destroying humanity. it grows along with human progress. the antimatter legion is not a bad comparison, actually! and a herrscher is a person thats been, in a way, possessed by the honkai to obtain incredible amounts of power to try and carry out the honkais objective of destruction. herrschers have different. specialties, you could say? some of them are more obvious [like the herrscher or wind, thunder, fire, ice etc] and some are more abstract [the herrscher of the void, origin, domination, for example]. in the current era, with enough willpower and self control, those powers can be used by a herrscher without them losing their humanity. it gets a bit more complicated than that but thats the basic rundown. ANYWAY COMING BACK linguistics will always be fascinating to me....... especially etymology. i love etymology. AND YEAH SAME i thought the day would never come in which i would care about a genshin guy and yet. also hey were matching......... i used to also always forget to level up talents but since traces are a bit more accentuated in the star rail tut it kinda carried over to genshin for me i guess. 7 am classes have caused me to go through all stages of grief but, just like those, i have reached Acceptance. at least theres less people on the bus so i can sit down. AND YEAH YEAH YEAH THE LOVE SCALE ARC HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY FAVORITE....... i love manaria. terrible wingwoman. very charming and handsome. and about noita yes ive been playing it. a Lot recently. roguelikes are fun theyre surprisingly making me More patient than i was instead of destroying my psyche like everyone said they would. and since noita is a finnish game im genuinely having a lot of fun learning the pronunciation of a lot of the enemy names. HIMEKO REALLY IS THE MVP FOREVER AND ALWAYS. I LOVE HER. i do in fact have seele lore and as previously i shall put it under the cut!! and im actually designed to sense and reblog all polish posts o7

as with himeko, i wouldnt consider myself an Expert on seele lore [if you have any further questions and/or want a more in-depth analysis of her, i would redirect you to tumblr user crowties] BUT i do know it. decently well. it goes without saying that this is also gonna contain massive spoilers.

so, seele's [as well as bronya's!] backstory is mainly showcased in the azure waters manga [although, do be warned that it features themes such as: physical and psychological abuse, child soldiers, pedophilia, and [minor on minor] attempted sa]. but moving on from all that.

seele grew up in cocolia's orphanage, in siberia, where she also met bronya after she was picked up by cocolia. she was also born with a certain condition, being a natural stigma [stigmata in the honkaiverse are manifestations of honkai energy which people are very rarely born with, but schicksal for example uses artificial ones to boost valkyries' combat capabilities]. that very stigma belonged to the herrscher of death in the previous era and is fully sentient! im gonna call her veliona so that its harder to mix them up but do know that theyre both referred to as seele in the game [and its actually a pretty important part of their identity that theyre both seele]. now the thing about seele and veliona is that you think theyre gonna be a terrible did stereotype and then theyre. Not. as in veli, at first, does act like "the evil alter" but shes actually just pretty mean but wants to protect seele. since seele is just. Very fragile due to being, you know, a timid 12 y/o.

in the orphanage, another one of the kids was sin mal! she exists solely to be a terrible person but i heard that wasnt the case in guns girl z so i defend her anyway. sin was jealous over the fact that bronya and seele became so close despite seele being weak, so she PUSHED BRONYA DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS AND BROKE HER LEGS???? shes that kind of person i guess. seele actually saw it happen but she was too scared to do anything. which, understandable! sin is extremely volatile.

seele then gets Kidnapped by child sex traffickers but bronya singlehandedly finds her and murders everyone responsible. seele is pretty horrified because 1. bronya [also 12] just killed a bunch of people in front of her and 2. she saw a manifestation of veliona that made her feel Happy that this is happening. veli is not very good at communication and also genuinely considers herself a terrible person at that point in time so that doesnt help with the evil alter allegations but oh well.

then. cocolia, at the request of anti entropy [allegedly?] starts carrying out child experiments, meant to make people achieve 100% honkai resistance. the people selected are bronya and sin, but seele volunteers in bronyas place since theyre pretty dangerous. right before that, however, sin attempts to assault seele, which veliona does Not let slide, so she rips out sins tooth and then traps her consciousness in an illusion in which she pushes her down the stairs and then slices off her fingers. good riddance.

however, the x-10 experiment Fails and seele falls into the sea of quanta, going missing. tho right as its about to happen, veliona actually uses a lot of her power to let seele see the sea, because she made a promise with bronya that they would go together someday. right as shes about to reach bronya, her power runs out and they completely disappear into the sea.

when bronya finds out about about this, she wants to take the x-10 test herself to try and find seele. cocolia doesnt want to let her go so that SHE DOESNT LOSE MORE CHILDREN, but bronya shows that shes gonna kill herself if cocolia doesnt agree and so she goes. during her test, she. actually manages to reconnect with seele for a while! they kiss and make a promise that theyll see each other again. however, due to bronyas legs still not being fully healed, she actually gets pretty badly hurt [with her legs needing prosthetics, as well as damage to her emotive circuits] during the test and is forcefully disconnected. seele manages to manifest bronya a robot project bunny. somehow. it helps her move and is also a giant cannon.

after this, seele and veliona float in the sea of quanta for 4 years. they grow quite close to each other during this, tho still maintain some distance because veli is just. not very sociable. veliona also makes a deal with an entity called the serpent [which i believe was confirmed to be kevin? but dont quote me on that] because he promises that hell get them out of the sea if they help him escape as well. veli is fully aware hes taking advantage of her but she has to try everything. when bronya jumps into the soq during the herrscher of reason arc, she manages to find seele! at first, velis deal with the serpent forces her to fight bronya, but during cyberangel seele and bronya end up working together. seele is also the one who makes bronya survive contact with the core of reason. as theyre escaping from the sea, bronya almost gets left behind, so seele and veliona achieve full unity during dual ego [IM INSANE ABOUT THEM. I AM INSANE] and they leave the sea.

after that, seele is admittedly Not that present in the main story [tho she does appear a couple of times!] until the moon arc and later the salt snow holy city arc, which is also the best part of the game because i said so and i am always right. SERIOUSLY THO SALT SNOW ARC IS MY FAVORITE IT IS SO GOOD IT IS SO-

anyway. seele and veliona are the protagonists in this one! i would so happily tell you the story but im also unfortunately too tired to give a detailed description of THE ENTIRE ARC so ill keep things short. when dispatched for a mission in nagazora, seele [and susannah! susannah is in this arc. i love her] gets dragged into a bubble universe by misteln [who, due to some events in the moon arc, veliona has extreme beef with]. but its actually a pretty bad thing because, due to the unique structure of the universe [that being, its actually two universes overlapping, one acting as the normal world and the other as the afterlife], seele and veli get separated. this causes significant mental distress to both of them. however, eventually they manage to reconnect! which also accidentally makes them the sage of the universe [a special role, usually reserved for one person] since they fulfill the criteria of being able to traverse between life and death. the problem is, theres..... already a sage....... and the universe starts collapsing. after a fight, the previous sage gives up her powers and seele gets sealed in her tower to act her role. it turns out that her becoming the sage wasnt what actually triggered the collapse, and so the team [consisting of seele, veli, susannah, kira, niggurath, senti, misteln, prometheus, vita, and schrodinger] works together to try and prevent it in another way. a Bunch Of Shit happens which i love very deeply but would also take way too long to explain, and seele gets separated from veliona, eventually becoming the herrscher of death [but, vita decides that seele is a far too gentle person to be called that, and so she becomes the herrscher of rebirth]. they manage to save the universes, and also free vita from being a pawn to sa, the force destroying the universe. they get to return home after that :)

i am extremely normal about seele and veliona [they give me mental illness]

#i meant to reply to this on friday since i was in the hospital [nothing serious dw] but my hand hurt from the venflon. hell on earth #pen pals

[bbeelzemon]

sometimes you're sick and the only thing you can do is write shitty and really self-indulgent fanfic of your own ocs to make you feel better

#i dont actually feel as bad today so far.. so maybe in some totally non-serious way... it actually helped.... wow #i saw a rp fluff starter meme yesterday and i was like you know whaaaat.. i want to write that #but i dont rp so its just my own two ocs. im rping with myself its fine #it was supposed to be just copious amounts of fluff but then gihr started to get Depresst so now i guess its hurt/comfort maybe #we'll see! i accidentally stayed up til 3 am working on it #i dont know if i plan on making it nsf/w or anything. never written that b4 but also im the only one who will see this probably. sooo... #anyway my experience with Being Sick usually ends up as i feel fine for the first 2 or 3 hours of the day #and then i get steadily worse throughout the day until i go to bed #so i feel better for right now but we'll have to wait and see how 8pm rosie feels about it LOL #i dont think its the big c...... though ive had a pretty persistent cough so you never know #but the other stuff isnt really lining up. i might just be Regular sick

[t0shii]

% comforting them when they're upset

.! oikawa, tsukishima, matsukawa (sep) x gn!r

.! angst + fluff/ breakdowns, crying, etc. lightly proofread bc im lazy so sorry for any mistakes.

.! im so sorry if this is absolute word vomit or horse shit 😭 i tried my best though 😌 uhhh sorry for not posting yesterday i got my daith pierced and i was in a lot of pain after that so i didnt feel like writing anywho enjoy this 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 p.s. i was originally gonna write for mad dog but i was struggling so i went with mattsun instead sorry. also idk why matsuns ended up being so short i didnt do him justice i apologize 😩

oikawa

— always gets discouraged when his knee bothers him. today was one of those days. his coach had made him sit out of practice because he had been limping a bit. he came home distraught and you noticed right away.

"what's the matter toru?" you asked opening your arms for a hug, which he accepted, wrapping his arms around your middle quite tightly. "my knee is bothering me again 'n coach made me sit out. it's just not fair." he mumbled into your shoulder. you could feel his tears soak through your shirt. you nodded and responded, "baby, he just doesn't want you to hurt yourself. i know it's not fair but-", "but i wanna play volleyball, i wanna get better and practice." he said, aggravated that you weren't exactly on his side, still he held you tighter.

"toru, baby, look at me." he does as told, and you bring your hands up to wipe his tear stained cheeks,"toru, you can't strain your knee anymore than you already do, you know this. i know you only want to play volleyball, baby i know, but you have to be patient." he nods in agreement and you do the same, then guiding his head back to your shoulder, "i know it's frustrating toru, but you can't force it, y'know? he wouldn't make you sit out if it wasn't for your best interest. you know that, deep down."

the two of you had been cuddling on the couch, his back against your chest when you heard him sniffling again, "toru, what's wrong?" you ask softly, sitting up slightly. "i'm so useless, my own knee can't even work right. the team deserves someone better and so d-do you" he hiccuped, hiding is face in his hands. you felt guilty for not comforting him more earlier. "toru, that's not true at all." you stated, forcing his hands into yours, "take it back right now." he looked at you confused. "toru oikawa i said take it back right this instant." you said a little sterner than before.

"no." he managed to get out through sobs, and you knew the stern method wasn't going to work this time around. "toru, please. you're not useless at all, not to anyone, not to the team, and especially not to me. you're the best teammate, friend and boyfriend anyone could ever ask for and your knee just needs a break sometimes, you just need a break sometimes and thats okay. needing a break doesn't make you useless or weak, toru." you say softly, guiding him to a sitting position, hugging him closely and tracing small, comforting shapes on his back.

"you're so so strong toru, and you're an amazing person, an amazing boyfriend, you're such an amazing volleyball player and i'm so proud of how far you've come since highschool." you say, kissing the crown of his head. "you mean it?" he asks leaning back to look at you, "i always do, toru. i love you more than anything, and i'm so so fucking proud of you, but you have to know, it's okay to need a break sometimes and it doesn't change who you are as a person and it definitely doesn't make you weak or useless. he nods in response, burrying his head into the crook of your neck. you both stay like that, you whispering words of affirmations, him listening fondly until he feels better a little while later.

tsukishima

— he usually didn't let the stress of professional volleyball get to him like this, but he couldn't help it he would be lying if he said he wasn't overwhelmed, from interviews, to extra practice to prepare for the overseas games he had coming up, he was exhausted, to add onto it all he had been neglecting you and he felt horrible for it.

you knew practice was going to be running late since your boyfriend had told you in advance, so you weren't initially worried as to why kei had been coming home late at night. this night in particular was the fourth night in a row kei been home late and you starting to grow concerned. you hadn't seen him hardly at all that week, which was unusual because he always made time for you no matter what. worried, you decided to stay awake and wait for him to get home.

when the time finally comes, your heart dropped at his appearance, he looked absolutely horrible, as if he hadn't slept right in weeks. "why are you up?" he mumbled, taking his shoes off rather sloppily, uncharacteristic of him. you made your way closer to yoir exhausted boyfriend, "kei, i'm worried about you. i know you don't like me meddling with your career, and please don't misunderstand my concern for that. i'm just worried you aren't getting enough rest and i've barely seen you at all this week." you said, crossing your arms over your chest.

you knew something was wrong when you saw the tear swell in his eyes, but he just stood there awkwardly, you walked closer toward him, "kei, what's wrong?" you ask, extending your arms toward him, which he basically fell into, he started sobbing immediately, shocking you initially. "i'm s-sorry for neglecting you this week, i didn't mean to i-i just-", "kei, i'm not worried about that, i'm worried that you aren't taking care of yourself properly." you mumble, patting his back comfortingly. to which he shakes his head no."work has been too much recently, i can't sleep and i barely have time to even think. its just practice, interviews, practice, interviews i-i can't handle it all anymore, y/n." he sobbed into your shoulder, you were speechless at his vulnerability.

"kei,-", "but i can't stop now because that'll make me a failure and i don't want to let you down and the team too, i just want to make everyone proud but i think i'm falling behind." he cried, fiddling with the hem of your shirt. "kei, you could never let me down. actually, i think i've been letting you down recently, i don't tell you this enough but, i'm so so proud of you kei, so proud you don't even understand, i'm sorry for not expressing that enough to you. i understand that you feel as if you're falling behind but overworking and stressing yourself out isn't going to help you improve, kei, and i know you also know that."

"you're working yourself sick, kei and i can't stand here and continue to let that happen so you're taking a day off whether you like it or not. tomorrow will be a me and you day, how does that sound? i'll call your coach in the morning." honestly, you wouldn't have let him say no anyways, and he knew that so he just nodded his head. "look at me kei, you have to tell me when you're feeling overwhelmed. it's not good to keep things in like this, it's just like you tell me." he nods his head, but avoids eye contact, "and i'm not disappointed or upset at you, you know. but i can't read your mind, so please just tell me when things start to feel like they're crashing down on you 'kay? i'll help you just like you help me." you smile, he looks at you and nods, hugs you closer and whispers an "i love you" into your ear, which you return.

matsuwaka

— you knew his work was stressful and emotionally and mentally exhausting, so there were always worries in the back of your mind that he would become too overwhelmed, well today your worries became reality.

"welcome home issei." you called from the kitchen as your boyfriend walked through the door, though he offered you no response, which made you frown. "issei?-" you gasped when you felt a pair of strong arms sneak their way around your waist, "jesus, issei, you scared me!" you giggle placing your hands atop of his own, but you realized he was not laughing with you. "issei, baby?" concern laced in your tone as you maneuvered your way around to face him, "what's wrong baby?" you ask, taking his face in your hands to wipe at escaping tears.

"work was rough today." was all he said as he melted at the feeling of your thumbs running back and forth on his cheeks. "oh issei, i'm sorry." you mumbled, kissing the tip of his nose lightly, "is there anything i can do to help?" he didn't know why but something inside of him snapped when you asked him that, and sobs escaped his lips, he could only hide his face in the space between your neck and shoulder because for some reason he felt... ashamed to be crying in front of you like this. "please just hold me." he cried, so you did just that, shushimg him when his sobs got violent, rubbing your hand up and down his back soothingly.

the both of you stood there for a good 15 minutes before you spoke up after he had calmed down a bit, "is there anything you need to get off your chest? you don't have to tell me now or even at all but i want you to know that whatever is bothering you, you can tell me, anything at all. i know your job is mentally exhausting and honestly i dont even know how you do it but i dont want you thinking you have to carry the burden of it alone, okay? i'm so proud of you, so so so proud of you issei, i just wanted you to know that."

you felt him nod in the crook of your neck, a soft, "thank you." sounding shortly after, "of course." you responded, kissing his shoulder a few time.he wasn't sure when he would feel completely ready to get things off his chest but he felt loved knowing that you would always be there to comfort him, and for that he was forever grateful.

#haikyuu fluff #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu angst #oikawa toru #oikawa x reader #oikawa x y/n #matsukawa hcs #matsukawa issei #matsukawa x y/n #matsukawa x reader #mattsun headcanons #mattsun x y/n #mattsun x reader #oikawa angst #matsukawa angst #mattsun angst #tsukishima kei #tsukishima hcs #tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima x reader #tsukki x reader #tsukki x y/n #tsukishima angst #tsukki angst #sunni's works 📓