#art by andy! king shit! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fictionz · 2 years

Text

New Fiction 2022 - June

The Bible, Douay-Rheims, Complete - "3 Kings" ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

Okay so now Solomon's in charge and there's no war so things are good? Except he's going around murdering enemies Godfather-style. And now a parade of kings as we run down the list and deeds of the rest of David's successors.

The Bible, Douay-Rheims, Complete - "4 Kings" ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

I think Eliseus is the star here? But the details of the chapters are more scattered. Perhaps due to winding down the chronicle of the kings. Hazael, Jezrahel, Jezabel, oh my. Oh shit Jehu will not stand for Baal worship. Dang, and Jerusalem has fallen!

Tales of the Dominion War - "What Dreams May Come" by Michael Jan Friedman (2004)

The complacency of fools something something.

Tales of the Dominion War - "Night of the Vulture" by Greg Cox (2004)

As close to Cannibal Holocaust as Star Trek gets.

Tales of the Dominion War - "The Ceremony of Innocence is Drowned" by Keith R.A. DeCandido (2004)

Put up your walls and a gun for every good citizen.

Tales of the Dominion War - "Blood Sacrifice" by Josepha Sherman & Susan Schwartz (2004)

Impatience is a sign of having lived too long.

Tales of the Dominion War - "Mirror Eyes" by Heather Jarman & Jeffrey Lang (2004)

If your place is compromised, that’s your new place.

Tales of the Dominion War - "Twilight's Wrath" by David Mack (2004)

Slash the throat of your master to serve you and yours.

Tales of the Dominion War - "Eleven Hours Out" by Dave Galanter (2004)

The only place to go is the way ahead.

Tales of the Dominion War - "Safe Harbors" by Howard Weinstein (2004)

Call them all in, we’re alone.

Tales of the Dominion War - "Field Expediency" by Dayton Ward & Kevin Dilmore (2004)

Desperation will keep you from seeing it all.

Tales of the Dominion War - "A Song Well Sung" by Robert Greenberger (2004)

When your enemy leaves you bare.

Tales of the Dominion War - "Stone Cold Truths" by Peter David (2004)

The children only know what they see and hear.

Tales of the Dominion War - "Requital" by Michael A. Martin & Andy Mangels (2004)

What will you do, when you find it?

Dracula Daily - "June" by Bram Stoker & ed. Matt Kirkland (1897)

A slow and obvious realization that your friend is not your friend.

Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton (1990)

The lecture-style of story-telling wears just a bit too thin for my tastes.

"Aquarium" by NoneToon (2022)

It’s hard to make friends, wouldn’t you agree?

"Making art in America. 👁👄👁" dir. Angie Wang (2022)

Please find a way.

Montana Story dir. Scott McGehee (2022)

Leave when you have to leave. Your place is where you choose to be.

Crimes of the Future dir. David Cronenberg (2022)

The subtle ways in which we fall apart.

Watcher dir. Chloe Okuno (2022)

👍👍👍

Jurassic World Dominion dir. Colin Trevorrow (2022)

Give DeWanda Wise her own adventure movie/series.

Top Gun: Maverick dir. Joseph Kosinski (2022)

Get your planes, get your guns, step right up.

G.I. Joe: The Movie dir. Don Jurwich (1987)

Better with no context whatsoever.

Elvis dir. Baz Luhrmann (2022)

That new Elvis biopic is more entertainment than history, but it still helped me get why Elvis was a big deal after growing up on 90s media made by 70s kids who treated him as a joke. And Austin Butler's portrayal of Elvis is :chefskiss:.

The Black Phone dir. Scott Derrickson (2022)

It sets up all the pieces perfectly.

Lightyear dir. Angus MacLane (2022)

I like space and I like adventures but when you’re Pixar there’s a burden to deliver on a certain level of charm that is missing here.

The Cat Returns dir. Hiroyuki Morita (2004)

A neat little fantasy, and you know, I didn’t realize how much I missed whimsical fantasy adventures with some small measure of risk.

Marcel The Shell With Shoes On dir. Dean Fleischer-Camp (2022)

Marcel’s got the improv quips and a lovely story about what it means to stick to family or to let them go.

Goosebumps - "My Hairiest Adventure" (1996)

Body hair and its many wonders.

Goosebumps - "It Came from Beneath the Sink" (1996)

Stick to the book, although it’s neat seeing the beginnings of an actor who went on to success in the horror genre.

Goosebumps - "The Barking Ghost" (1997)

Woof.

Goosebumps - "Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes" (1996)

Sometimes I see that a given book has been adapted for television and try to imagine how they would’ve pulled it off on a low TV budget of the 90s. And with this one, I fretted over the fact that unless they chose to use expensive stop-motion animation, they’d probably find a way to have little people dressed up as lawn gnomes. Sure enough...

Goosebumps - "Shocker on Shock Street" (1997)

Love the book, not the TV episode. Gonna fret any time a fucked up book ending gets swapped for a more tame TV-friendly version.

Goosebumps - "Haunted Mask II" (1996)

You didn’t have to redo everything from the first one. The book knew that.

Goosebumps - "The Headless Ghost" (1996)

Oh. You know, you had something there at the end. A comeuppance would’ve been good.

Goosebumps - "How I Got My Shrunken Head" (1998)

The book was vague in its exact location and cultural references but the TV episode makes it much more specific about which backward people the white westerners have decided to enslave.

3 notes · View notes

hyp3rfixation-h3ll · 2 years

Text

I WAS WRITING AN AAF POST AND MY TABLET CRASHED NOOOOOO

anyways here’s um all of the Andy’s Apple Farm art ive made wooo

the little meow meows… i care about andy and his friends SOOOO SO MUCH they deserve happiness and also the best found family dynamic ever EXCEPT for peter . he can go to hell /hyp

uhhh uhh. something something i kin andy and this is my kinsona. hhsgsbgdsjjfkeg!!! ALSO I MADE HIM A LITTLE CHUBBY bc andy canonically has that build on his official ref. he deserves to be a lil squishy no i do not care what you think 🔫 /lh

i dont have AAF themed DNI/Reblog banners yet but please read my pinned + carrd before interacting!!! oh yeah and uh dont. interact with my content if you ship andy x peter in any way. (M36 confirmed that andy’s a minor and peter’s an adult so)

#captain’s art log 🎨#Andy’s Apple Farm Tag! 🍎🏡#Kin Tag: Andy the Apple 🍎👁#peter is. peter #andy’s apple farm #aaf melody #aaf andy #aaf peter #aaf claus #btw i see andy and thomas as seperate beings #the ghosts of the eastwoods n king are seperate from the aaf characters in the game but they can possess them #andy is an oblivious ass like 16 year old who sees paranormal activity and just immediately starts bawling his eyes out #and thomas like. cannot do shit except be like ‘haha sorry about that <:]’#fuck peter pumpkin all my homies hate peter pumpkin #anyways i believe in AAF found family. everyone protects Andy and Melody theyre like the babies of the group kinda #Claus and Margaret are the two oldest but Claus and Andy bicker like siblings #Felix is just there he’s not even bothered by anything #‘im just here man’ — felix #he’s like the apathetic one in the group who’s down to hang out n talk if you need it

106 notes · View notes

eddie-rifff · 3 years

Photo

Andy Mackay of Roxy Music - Re-Make/Re-Model

#king shit!#andy mackay #roxy music #glam rock #art rock #prog rock #prog #1970s #70s #op #my edit #my garbage

107 notes · View notes

therangerofthenorthernlands · 3 years

Text

Tolkien Update #2! (24 June 2021)

SPOILER WARNING FOR LORD OF THE RINGS: RETURN OF THE KING

Hey everyone! If you're reading this thanks for visiting my page again. My journey with Tolkien continues! I'm still reading through Chapter 7 of The Two Towers "Helm's Deep" so that update will come soon!

Last night, I decided to watch the first part of The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003). OH. MY. GOD. This is the first time I've ever watched The Return of the King, although I've watched The Two Towers and The Fellowship of the Ring before (fun fact, watching the theatrical version of The Fellowship of the Ring was actually what first interested me in Tolkien!). So, as you can probably tell at this point, this update will be about my experience and first impressions watching:

Part 1 of The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

I would like to start off this update by saying that I finally know where all (most) of my favorite LOTR GIFs are from, LOL! I collect GIFs of Aragorn (one of my favorite characters) in a folder on my computer, and I honestly did not know what scenes of the movies some of them came from. Now I do! If I can figure out how to do it, I'll link them and talk about my favorite ones in this post :) (I'll try to go somewhat chronologically, so as to be as little confusing as possible lol). I would also like to start off this post by saying "FOOL OF A TOOK!" and also stating (and I will die on this hill) that although I was only nine months old, I was indeed alive when ROTK was released so therefore I was alive when the LOTR movies were coming out.

Now that we've got those disclaimers out of the way (COUGH I LOVE EOWYN COUGH) I will now begin my commentary :D

To begin with, everytime I'm watching a LOTR movie and this motherfucker shows up:

I FLIP MY SHIT. EVERY SINGLE TIME. BECAUSE I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH. I love how the logo looks and what it represents, I love what it means and what it promises. It's also just a really fucking cool piece of art in and of itself. Masterpiece.

AND IF YOU CAN IMAGINE ME FLIPPING MY SHIT AT THAT LOGO, YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW I FELT WHEN I SAW THIS:

Also, I would like to present to the reader a portrait of Howard Shore circa 1999:

I didn't take notes while I was watching, so I'm trying to think of things that really struck me. One thing was definitely the shot where Deagol grabs the ring from the bottom of the river. LOTR really takes things full circle, and I appreciate it. It's the same shot from the prologue in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)! I thought that was really cool. Also, my man Andy Serkis finally got some human screen time!

Continuing on, I would like to express my resentment toward Gollum and the seeds of resentment that he sows between Frodo and Sam (All my love to poor Smeagol, though :( ). Sam is literally giving his everything to Frodo and because of Gollum Frodo begins to distrust the wrong person. It broke my fucking heart when Frodo told Sam to leave as they were climbing the mountain above the City of the Dead. Like, bro, think rationally for like half a second. YOU GUYS ARE IN MORDOR. YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FOOD OR WATER. SAM BARELY MADE IT HERE WITH EIGHT OTHER PEOPLE YOU REALLY THINK HE CAN GET ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE SHIRE ON HIS OWN?? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU >:( . I'm very angry at both Gollum and Frodo, although I understand that Frodo is under the influence of the One Ring and is not completely himself.

Next I would like to say, PIPPIN. As the youngest member of the Fellowship he can sometimes be a little foolhardy through no fault of his own (hence, "Fool of a Took!" as is Gandalf's choice phrase when referring to Pippin). At the same time, however, he is mature and courageous. When accompanying Gandalf in the confrontation of Denethor about the lighting of the beacons of Minas Tirith and on realizing that Denethor has received news of the death of Boromir, he pledges his service to Denethor--a stubborn, greedy, idiotic, unloving, and cruel man who serves as the Steward of Gondor. While in some ways misguided, this action by Pippin is a show of his loyalty and raw courage as well as his growing maturity. Also he looks really dapper in the uniform (later revealed to have been that of Faramir in his youth). Also I love how he's still wearing his elven cloak from the forests of Lorien!

Love my boy Peregrin Took. Representing the Shire, and all of Eriador for that matter! His singing in the hall of Denethor--fun fact, in the books, the poem he sings appears in The Fellowship of the Ring!--while Faramir rides out at Denethor's behest to attempt to retake Osgiliath from the orcs of Mordor makes me cry every single time. Incredibly moving. See above portrait of Howard Shore.

AND SINCE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE HOUSE OF DENETHOR, I WOULD LIKE TO ADDRESS THE ISSUE OF FARAMIR. Poor Faramir, justice for Faramir :( . I HOPE DENETHOR FALLS DOWN A DEEP HOLE AND CAN'T GET OUT. I FEEL SO BAD FOR FARAMIR. EVERY TIME HE APPEARS I JUST WANT TO GIVE HIM A BIG HUG AND TELL HIM THAT HE'S DOING A GOOD JOB. HE TRIES SO HARD. HE DOES EVERYTHING TO TRY TO PLEASE HIS FATHER AND EMERGE FROM THE SHADOW OF HIS OLDER BROTHER, TO NO AVAIL. AND DENETHOR HAD THE UTTER NERVE TO SAY TO FARAMIR'S FACE--TO HIS FACE--THAT HE WISHED FARAMIR HAD DIED INSTEAD OF BOROMIR. I MEAN COME ON, MAN. Faramir has been camped out at Osgiliath--LITERALLY SAURON'S DOOR--holding the lines, protecting Minas Tirith and therefore all of Gondor, while you have been sitting on your ass doing NOTHING yet for some reason you think that it's okay to talk that way to him??? Okay, please exit the room sir you are not welcome anymore. NOT TO MENTION THAT WHEN FARAMIR COMES BACK FROM TRYING TO RETAKE OSGILIATH WOUNDED DENETHOR ANNOUNCES SIMPLY THAT HE HAS DIED EVEN THOUGH THIS IS CLEARLY UNTRUE. DENETHOR JUST WANTED HIM DEAD. HE'S A HORRIBLE FATHER. THANKFULLY, HOWEVER--AND MAY I SAY VERY ASTUTELY--GANDALF GIVES HIM A GOOD KNOCKING AROUND THE HEAD WITH HIS STAFF SHORTLY AFTERWARD. If I never hear of Denethor again in my life I will have heard too much. BYE.

Okay, time to address the matter of Aragorn and Eowyn. Given my utter love and devotion to each of them respectively (and my wish to be them), I would like to formally state that I actually like how things have turned out so far. When I first watched Two Towers and saw what was developing I was firmly against it. I also didn't like Eowyn. But since I have now read halfway through The Two Towers and watched the first part of ROTK and all of Two Towers, I have changed my mind. Eowyn is a fucking badass (as I have said before) and I love her. I want to be her. I feel the same way about Aragorn. It would be wonderful if they were together, if Aragorn was not previously committed to someone else. I believe that the bond that Aragorn and Arwen made between themselves is unbreakable, especially since Arwen gave up her immortality to be with Aragorn and bestowed him the gift of her Evenstar. I now understand, however, that Aragorn believed that Arwen was leaving Middle Earth via the Grey Havens, along with an envoy of elves, never to return again. Given that context, I understand the nuances of the relationship between Eowyn and Aragorn. Once Elrond informed Aragorn that Arwen had stayed, he very quickly and clearly communicated to Eowyn that nothing could ever happen between them. I respect that, but I also feel bad for Eowyn. I love her. I love him. The look on her face when he leaves to summon the Army of the Dead... Heartbreaking.

On that note I would like to once again express my love for Eowyn and her badassery, and my disdain at Eomer for that "war is the province of men" comment! Was that honestly necessary? Same thing with Merry. You have to willing and able soldiers who want to fight to protect the things they love, but because of the provenance of their stature or gender they are somehow unworthy to fight just like every other soldier of Rohan or Gondor? Good on Eowyn for saying fucking that, finding some armor that fit her, hoisting Merry onto her horse, and riding into battle with the rest of them. I would give my life for this woman.

NOW TO DISCUSS SOME OF THE PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED GIFS!

Okay so it was really just one GIF. I can't find the rest of the GIFs.... TBD... ANYWAY I didn't realize until last night that this GIF takes place during the scene where Aragorn believes that he has failed in summoning the Army of the Dead and exits the mountain to see the forces of Mordor congregating on the Anduin next to Gondor. Heartbreaking :(

Another scene that brought tears to my eyes and sent shivers down my spine was the one where Aragorn receives Anduril from Elrond (as well as news of Arwen). There are no good GIFs of it that I can find on Google but I do have this (which really doesn't do it justice, I highly suggest searching the clip up on YouTube):

This whole scene was just utterly empowering. You can see Aragorn coming into his own as heir to the throne of Gondor, you can feel his growing power and the shot where he pull Anduril out of the scabbard is masterfully shot and choreographed. Although in the books Aragorn does receive Anduril in The Fellowship of the Ring and not in the Return of the King, I believe this rewrite was perfectly written, planned, and implemented. The whole sequence of the reforging of Anduril, Arwen's recitation of the famous poem that we first encounter at the beginning of the first book,

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be the blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king.

and Aragorn receiving it from his mentor Elrond and pulling it out of its sheath is awe-inspiring. The poem itself, every time I encounter it, brings tears to my eyes. This scene gives me hope. It makes me strong. Everyday I try to be like Aragorn. He is one of my foremost role models. I know that if I'm acting like Aragorn would act, I am doing the right thing.

Professor Tolkien's writings, and the thousands of subsequent artists who adapted his work so wonderfully and perfectly, hold a very special place in my heart. I think that they will for the rest of my life.

I believe we've come to the end of this update. I'm ending on a more somber and serious note this time. If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. As you can probably see, Tolkien is a topic I am always willing to discuss at length. I'm really excited to watch the second part of ROTK (the last part of the entire LOTR trilogy!!) and I will make sure to post an update on here when I do. Hoping to see an epic conclusion! Until then, "Forth Eorlingas!" my friends! Take care of yourselves and stick around. I hope to talk to you all again soon! :)

34 notes · View notes

arianadevareux · 3 years

Text

Top 10 Hottest for April

I don’t know how I inevitably forget anyone I’ve ever been attracted to when I get the reminder to do this list. Also if I could find more gifs for all of them that would be greeeaatttt.

Father Vincent (Tristan Ulloa, Warrior Nun)

I was sleeping on him from the start because he’s not the kind of soft I usually like so I was like.. eh. But this episode I watched last night turned that on its damn head and now he’s on the list of hot priests. Holy shit.

Yu Shu Lien (Michelle Yeoh, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon)

She’s a kickass warrior babe. There’s not much that’s hotter than that, tbh.

Ulysses Klaue (Andy Serkis, MCU)

Such a sleazy bastard man, but he’s got that swagger. That specific villain thing that makes them hot? He knows it well.

Jonathan Turner (Anthony Tyler Quinn, Boy Meets World)

Maybe it’s the good dad vibes. Maybe it’s the curl. Maybe it’s Maybelline.

Tommy Johnson (Chris Thomas King, O Brother Were Art Thou?)

He’s got such a smooth voice and he’s got that lowkey charisma that hits that sweet spot.

Arthur Spiderwick (David Strathairn, The Spiderwick Chronicles)

I know he’s only in the movie for, like, a minute but he’s definitely got the hot dad look.

Laura Kinney (Andie MacDowell, Multiplicity)

I mean, it’s Andie MacDowell. Like, how do you not crush on her in literally anything?

Dr. Beverly Crusher (Star Trek: The Next Generation)

/Chanting MILF MILF MILF. And she’s hella smart. Miss ma’am.

Dill Penderghast (Stanley Tucci, Easy A)

This is accidentally becoming milk/dilf central. Come on, he’s funny, supportive, and he looks exactly like Stanley Tucci.

Adrian Toomes/Vulture (Michael Keaton, Spiderman: Homecoming)

I don’t want to use two from one fandom, but he’s a hot dad AND a villain. Be still, my quivering loins. (I hated that as much as you did.)

42 notes · View notes

jkflesh · 3 years

Text

G36 vs JK Flesh — Disintegration Dubs

Digital release out tomorrow on Pressure

G36 - Wrong Place, Wrong Time

G36 - Sulfur

JK Flesh - Dosshouse

G36 - Body Crusher

G36 - Annihilation

JK Flesh - Jack Palance

G36 - Head Deep in Shit

G36 - Meat Grinder Dub

JK Flesh - Puppeteer

G36 - Good vs Evil

G36 - Ghengis

JK Flesh - Precinct

Heavy as f-ck and deep as hell, this devastating split album gleefully corrupts and corrodes dub’s sunshine reflections. Celebrating rhythm & noise in its dank echo chamber, these demolition dub tracks are built from obsessive studies in distortion, overdrive and seriously ruff textures, amongst an absolutely insane amount of sub-bass level.

‘Disintegration Dubs’ is a three way low end collision, between G36 (The Bug aka Kevin Martin/Gorgonn’s rig torturing beat project) and JK Flesh (Justin Broadrick, of Godflesh / Jesu etc). As the album title suggests, this instrumental pile up of floor crawling, sound system crushers, is a clearer sign than ever, that these three producers crave their dub cuts to be mutant and heavyweight, totally damaged and completely atomised. Dub as sonic obliteration.

Anyone previously smitten by Techno Animal’s deeply psychedelic face off with Porter Ricks, on the long out of print ’Symbiotics’, or who worshipped Zonal’s recent rhythmic wreckage via Relapse Records, will surely gorge greedily on ‘Disintegration Dubs’. Likewise, newbies, who have snapped up this year’s ‘Fire’ by The Bug or ‘New Flesh in Dub’ by Godflesh, will find endless pleasure within these dread-tech, annihilated dubs and industrial strength steppas rhythms. Echoes of Basic Channel, early Iration Steppas, Public Image Limited or even Andy Stott can be heard within this collection’s haunted atmospherics and bulldozing rumble. Yet, these three individual producers have obviously found their own recognisably original sound, within these monolithic grooves, and what makes this album so utterly refreshing, is just how well the three disparate sound manipulators complement each other fully, as they collectively set their sights on some shared, relentlessly futuristic sci-fi vision, for a new form of dub.

Obviously, Martin as The Bug, and Broadrick with his colossal dubs of Godflesh and his filthy back catalogue of JK Flesh releases, have both long since subscribed to the genre, aesthetic and fragmentation of dub. Meanwhile relative newcomer, Gorgonn, is The Bug’s long time, live soundman, and former bandmate with DJ Scotch Egg in Devil Man, as well as having formed Dokkebi Q with Kiki Hitomi (ex-King Midas Sound), so he is no stranger to the art of deviant dubs either…

G36 dropped their appropriately titled debut EP ’Floor Weapons’, in 2018, on PRESSURE, as well as providing the backing riddim for the first ever release from Jamaican MC phenomena Nazamba, with his startling debut, ’Vexed’. Alternately, Justin has previously released seven albums solo, as JK Flesh, that systematically contorted, distorted and completely bastardised techno for labels such as Hospital Productions, Hydra Head and Speedy J’s Electric Deluxe… (Next year will also see a full JK Flesh album on PRESSURE too!)

Mastered by Stefan Betke aka Pole, at Scape Mastering.

Artwork by Simon Fowler (Earth, Sunn O))) and Boris art designer).

Vinyl release in early 2022 distributed by Cargo UK.

#jk flesh #justin broadrick #g36 #the bug #gorgonn #techno animal

9 notes · View notes

toonbly · 3 years

Note

shitlord (affectionate) dion aquato?

1: sexuality headcanon

demisexual and biromantic! he just found out recently i think

2: otp

i dont think abt shipping with him a lot bc psychonauts is one of those things where i think more about the family aspect of everything, but he and gisu are adorable :] theyre literally the embodiment of "you're stupid. i like that in a man."

3: brotp

THIS IS SOLELY BC OF THE RP SERVER IM IN BUT HE AND SAM COULD HAVE A REALLY FUNNY DYNAMIC I THINK.

in terms of canon tho he and frazie are clearly really close and i think thats sweet!! siblings :]

4: notp

again other than the obvious Gross Why Would You Do That ones? none lol i dont think about psychonauts shipping a lot

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

there's the obvious "dion is a psychic" thing but like, specifically going into one of his psychic powers i have this WHOLE IDEA for what his archetypes look like

i like to think archetypes change in art style depending on the person! dion's probably really into the 1950s greaser aesthetic, just based on the way he styles his hair and him having a leather "going out" jacket in his concept art. bc of this i think that his archetype takes on the style of 1950s pop art! specifically i think it mimics like. roy lictenstien's art style. thick black outlines, harsh cell shading done solely in black, bright colors, dotted textures usually on characters skin.

BUT ALSO I THINK THE COLOR STYLE VARIES DEPENDING ON WHAT THE ARCHETYPE IS AND HOW DION VIEWS HIMSELF IN THOSE CIRCUMSTANCES. like, okay, say there was an "acrobat dion" archetype. that archetype would take on the arguably more realistic color scheme of lichtenstien's work because dion accepts that part of himself, it's something he's passionate about and sees as a realistic aspect of his personality. but if there were a "psychic dion" archetype it'd take on the more wacky, unrealistic color scheme you'd see in something like andy warhol's work, specifically his portraits of celebrities. it's more unrealistically colored and out there because that's just how dion views that part of himself-- unrealistic and completely nonsensical.

6: one way in which I relate to this character

kicks the "hiding his worries and clear insecurities under layers of ego" shit under the rug hahahah what

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

not secondhand embarrassment but i think dion deserves to get a Little commupence for the whole "maybe we wouldnt have found you" bit. i get hes lashing out but KID FHFDJHFSKDJF

8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

again what year is it but problematic fave king

#i like how. you can Tell hes my favorite just based on how fucking long the headcanons bit is HFKHDKJFHSKJF

8 notes · View notes

sanstropfremir · 3 years

Text

the hotly anticipated kingdom episode 7 review is here!!

this episode was a lot less spectacle-y than the last one (the last episode with stages, i mean), and i think that was a good choice for all the groups on the whole to tone it down on the run up to the finale, because at the rate everyone was headed there would be no room to go any higher. i'm very glad that there was actually a collab stage and not just a song swap, especially because it gives a chance for the boys to work together and make friends when they otherwise arent going to be able to interact much. love love love to see them making friends and having fun doing these stages!

i'm not really sure why mnet didnt put the vocal stage this episode, because what on earth else are they going to put in the next episode with it??? i know it's a content stretch but still, it seems like a weird choice to me. anyways, there’s four stages for me to talk about this time and i'm going to try to not ramble out of control, but we’ll see. i did enjoy watching all of these, but we’ve all got favourites and i'm going to rank by which group i liked better out of the two for each stage, and then i put a few conclusions at the end. strap in folks this is another long one.

rap stages

skz + btob + atz

i was actually really surprised at how much i liked this stage. i would not classify myself as a rap fan and believe it or not i actually do not place a lot of importance on lyrics when enjoying music. although i have very high lyric retention and comprehension, i focus more on the sound than the literal words, so a fair amount of rap is swing-and-a-miss in my personal listening. plus when you add a language barrier on top of that, a lot of the nuance and technical skill of it just flies over my head. so i really dont have much to say about the sonic elements this time around, sorry. also.....i know i joked that nobody from the kingdom staff is reading my reviews.....but is someone from the kingdom staff reading my reviews????? i specifically mentioned that i think skz should do an art themed stage and then we got one????? i know i manifested the punk ateez stage but did i manifest this also??? am i just that powerful???

costume

obviously these are pretty basic rap/hiphop stage looks, but the white was a really good choice for visibility’s sake, and also thematically: it reflects the colours in the lighting really well.

i am DYING to know who the designer of minhyuks jacket is. if somebody knows please tell me i love it so much. it looks like some of the recent belted jackets that dior was putting out, but the drawing on the front armscythe piece reminds me of the superm/kim junggi collab for tiger inside. say whatever you want about superm, but you cannot deny that that is not some of the coolest merch on the kpop scene.

loved the traditional korean elements that came through in addition to the western references: the screens, hongjoong’s fan, minhyuk’s big fuckoff brush, the masks, and the sleeves on the dancers at minhyuk’s bit. those are a costume feature from a style of korean traditional masked dance called bongsan talchum. the masks themselves are versions of hahoetal masks, which are used in a very specific archetypal ritual dance in andong. i think these are imae masks, who is the servant/fool archetype that mocks the nobleman and the scholar. i suspect that was a deliberate choice, but i can only speculate.

another point about the masks which is not relevant but maybe a fun fact for people who don’t know. i actually thought at first that they were western theatre half masks, which are a very old style of mask that, like with hahoetal masks, represent a number of archetypes/stock characters. maskwork is a very common training practice in theatre schools, because it teaches body language and control, because half your face is covered and you cannot speak in your own voice (sometimes you cannot speak at all, this is one of the rules of full mask). the tradition of usings masks to portray emotion goes all the way back to the ancient greek chorus, but more commonly people in the west sometimes know it from the italian commedia dell’arte, of which you will have definitely seen some of the character archetypes before. i just find it neat that the same types of art pop up in different places seemingly independently of each other. humans are cool.

set

not much to say here, it's pretty bare with just some propwork. thought the screen use was fun and they used it smartly in a couple of transitions.

thought changbin’s bit of ‘interrupting’ the artists was cute and fun. there’s obviously a picasso reference there, and the four technicolour paintings are a reference to andy warhol’s pop art silkscreen portraits, most famously of marilyn monroe, but he also did many other celebrities in the 70s and 80s.

lighting

i LOVED this lighting. super bright and fun, lots of use of colour, obviously. the projections were there to enhance the visuals and weren’t distracting in any way. i thought the transition to black and white/ink with minhyuk was smart and had good contrast, it gave a strong rhythm to build back up to for the climax.

sound

bang chan’s ‘spelling colour with a u’ bit had me SCREAMING with laughter. we spell colour with a u normally bang chan, the americans are the ones that are wrong.

staging

i don’t really have a whole lot to say here, it was pretty straightforward and fun. like i’ve said in previous reviews, i wish they were more conscious of the steadicam direction and would stop showing extended bits of the production crew. at least everyone was wearing full blacks this time.

fun use of the upward angle combined with the groundwork/leg choreo during hongjoong’s verse, that was a highlight for me.

sf9 + tbz + ikon

nothing against this stage, the other one just hit harder for me. bobby is the best rapper on the show and he really carried this stage with his charisma. he’s a fun performer to watch and he knows how to command a space. i'm sure there’s technical notes that people have about the raps themselves, but i'm here looking at visuals as a priority, which i'm sure you’ve all grasped at this point.

costume

these were clearly extensions of these idol’s personal styles, with is a perfectly fine choice, especially for a rap stage where the emphasis is more on authorship. LOVED bobby’s 11yro girl at recess look.

amusing that both rap stages involved paint in some way? loved the backup dancers shooting supersoakers filled with paint at them, but i wish i knew the reason for it? i'm glad i saw this stage first because i would have been underwhelmed by the paint throwing if i had seen this after rainbow bonanza.

set

almost no set at all here, just a few props. i'm not judging as harshly on lack of set this round because these stages are meant to be more about skill than anything else.

lighting

i loved the projections, i thought they were unobtrusive and i admit, i LOVE outer space themed anything.

i liked that they did more concert lighting and had no projections in the first half to put more focus on the performers, it really highlighted the fact that this stage was about them, and not about anything extraneous.

sound

it was indeed a song.

staging

i do wish there had been a bit more control of the space, because it did look very empty at some parts and they could have staved that off by keeping tighter camera shots. this stage is so fucking big, holy shit.

they really brought their onstage chemistry and they looked like they were having a blast, which FINALLY!!

i actually really liked hwiyoung’s opening, i think there was a lot of potential there for some sharp contrast work that i wish had been played through a little more, especially with the cool white light overtop the black costumes. it actually reminded me a bit of the intro in the music video from a rapper i do actually listen to, bewhy’s gottasadae.

glad to see some more use of camera effects with the black and white, but why did they do it over the paint throwing? it just made the trajectory of the paint invisible because there was no colour contrast.

performance stages

sf9 + tbz + ikon

ok obviously im gonna have a lot more to say about the performance stages, nobody is surprised there. this one was the better constructed of the two and my personal pick for better stage, but i actually liked watching the both of them equally.

costume

king shit, literally. we love contemporary hanbok in this house. there was good colour and style distinction between the three of them without clashing.

costume change was fun and neatly blocked, it's pretty common to see backup dancers and chorus hiding quickchanges but i liked how this was a more unusual formation.

taeyang rocking the organza skirt and the big purple eyeshadow, thank you for keeping it cunty as always.

i really liked juyeon’s underlayer look. finally we get a good tbz costume look thats thematically relevant!

set

like all the stages this round, pretty minimal. the setting was almost entirely established through the costumes and the projections, which is some really good designwork. it's pretty much just the litters (the lifted chairs they entered on), and some smaller props. they managed to not make the stage feel empty because there was a lot of projection visuals to compensate, which is difficult to do without being overbearing, but i think they mostly pulled it off.

i originally thought it was gonna be weird to try and mesh the traditional korean architectural aesthetic with the weird mnet deco, but i ended up not noticing it as much as i thought i would.

lighting

like i just said, projections very well done and do a fantastic job of conveying setting without being overly distracting. like with the atz/skz/btob rap stage there’s a really broad range of colour use here that they offset by brightening and properly fill lighting the faces so you can actually see what’s happening.

the use of the strobing lasers and more concert style lighting fit really well with the change in the music from traditional instrument sounds to electronica and the more hiphop/isolated movements.

sound

i liked it well enough! i think it had a good arc that we can see echoed through the rest of the piece, like previously stated in the lighting and movement style.

staging

like i mentioned with the quickchange, there was some really interesting formations using the backup dancers here, especially as a lead toward/away from the camera

having the three of them enter on litters; again, literal king shit, love to see it.

this has a pretty clear narrative that doesnt really need an external explanation, which is good. i have to assume that the burning of the paper with 妃 (concubine) is intended to be a gesture of ‘burning’ the love out of their hearts, but that was the only thing i'm still confused on. this may very well turn out to be a reference to a specific story that i just have no idea what it is, but we’ll see once the subs are out!

i loved juyeons solo bit with the alcohol drinking and the table flip, that was the choreographic highlight for me. i just really wish he would use the other muscles in his face more often. we know youre pretty, you dont have to blue steel your way through all your performances!! take a page out of donghyuk’s book and make some ugly faces, it's good for you!!

i though taeyang’s swordwork was fine, but since i do actually have a decade of sword training i'm very judgemental. it's not bad, he obviously has practiced with the weapon and he knows how to control it, but he doesn’t have the same understanding as someone who has trained with a sword as a weapon and not just as a prop. if we hadn’t seen another stage with swordwork in it i probably wouldn’t have brought this up (that's a lie, i still would have brought it up, i have a third dan), but you can really see the difference between how minhyuk moves with his sword and how taeyang moves. a lot of this has to do with the proper weighting of the blade, which i mention briefly in my second episode review in btob’s section (and also this ask here, where i talk about properly weighted weapons in relation to the gun choreo in sf9’s and ateez’s previous stages); minhyuk is likely using a ‘real’ sword (it’s blunted but still made using proper methods and materials), and taeyang is using a cheaper-made replica (unless you’re doing full contact striking a LOT there’s no way a properly made blade breaks like that. also you would never tape it together hello??? respect the blade). if you know what you’re looking for, you can tell from the movements themselves when someone has training. minhyuk did a load of real training for a film where he was a swordsman, and you can tell; the sword is an extension of his arm, all the movements lead with the tip of the blade first, because that’s your first, your fastest, and your most dangerous point. you do 90% of your cutting with the first eight inches of blade, but it takes a lot of specific training to get your hands and arms to a place where that kind of movement is possible. taeyang’s movements are driven from his hands, which is unsurprising, because that’s where he’s used to his extensions stopping. the tip follows rather than leads. wow this got insanely sidetracked i hope you liked this crash course on swordwork.

this is pretty much what i expected to see from this unit. these three groups all have standout soloists, so i wasn’t surprised to see these three boys as the picks. juyeon and taeyang especially, theyre both from groups that are more likely to do experimental stages and choreography that highlights them as soloists and skilled dancers.

skz + btob + atz

this was a letdown from ateez’s last two stages, because they knocked those out of the park, but it's only fair that they have a bit of a fall. that being said, i did really enjoy watching this for its sheer ridiculousness; i’m forgiving the wolf concept this time because well, it’s wolf. you can't cover wolf and not do a wolf concept, that’s against the law. also, like i’ve said before, i'm all for dark concepts IF you give them thematic weight. is it on the nose? yes. is it thematically relevant? also yes. is it dumb? also also yes, but that’s never stopped a single kpop group in the history of ever.

costume

friendship restored with ateez stylists, rivalry started with skz stylists. the fur shoulder fluffs??? stupid and i love them. perfect in every way. however i keep seeing the same fucking costumes on the skz boys and i will come directly for the stylists at jype if they dont get their shit together. be! more! creative!!!

i really really wish they had gone more 2013 kpop with it, we need more of that ugly ridiculous styling. peniel was actually pretty close, with the overly long tunic and those yellow lenses. very vixx on and on (yes i know they were vampires from outer space, let me live)

i actually thought the wolf gloves were fun? the small bits of uv paint actually worked instead of looking out of place, and i'm glad they put them on wooyoung because the uglier an outfit, the better he pulls it off.

set

same dice, just the long table and the camo net at the beginning, which i thought was unnecessary. the table was useful for levels though, so happy to see they utilized that.

lighting

there is so much happening all the time. lots of lasers. it's definitely aiming for camp territory, and i dont actually hate it as much as i did on my first watch. it actually wasn’t as dark as i thought either, because its mostly lit with blue and amber. but it doesn’t really have that great of an arc and its not really that good on the whole.

the projections are a bit much for me, but that’s only when i'm actually looking at them. true to form, i didn’t even notice the excess of red slashes until like my fourth rewatch because i was too busy watching the performers.

sound

rookie exo my beloved. the original wolf goes so hard for absolutely no reason, so i’m not knocking this stage for being ridiculous. in fact it should have been more ridiculous. i think they did a fine job updating the song for a.....less 2013 sound.

i like that they didn’t bother to live sing the stage even though they recorded vocals for it, it gave them all a chance to actually focus on just the dance.

that being said, i am kind of missing all the adlibs from the original. but even though there’s some strong vocalists in this unit, they aren’t made of the same stuff as baekhyun, luhan, chen, AND d.o.

i literally just realized that peniel had already debuted when this song came out AND is technically exo’s senior because btob debuted like two weeks before exo officially did.....oh no

staging

choreographically this feels a lot more like the skz stages that we’ve seen rather than the ateez ones, so i'm curious as to who the choreographer was.

the tricking was definitely more ridiculous in this one, but i can't really say any of it was there for no reason because it all had elements of fighting in it. the scale of the tricks was quite large though and not very well blended with the rest of the choreo, which ending up making them look awkward. i thought it was a nice detail that they shone a green toplight on the dancers that made up the cliff wooyoung climbed up so that it looked like there was grass on it. cute.

the blocking is lacking a lot of fluidity, and i think that’s partially the scale of the tricking and also the editing, because this editing is TERRIBLE. there’s so much cutting, why is there so much cutting!! haven’t we already learned that longtakes are the best for this???

there’s a lot of stuff here that had good potential but could have been pushed a little farther. i feel like i say this for every mediocre stage, but what can i say, i'm good at constructive criticism.

they should have given more showcase to the tree and the scratching arms; it's the most iconic move!! i also wish they had kept some kind of iteration of the different unit ‘leaping’ in over the exiting one, i always thought that part of the original choreo was really fun and did a lot for establishing them as wolves.

i LOVED peniel entering with all those backup dancers in chains, thats some fucking iconic shit. very ‘im the alpha wolf,’ which is valid because he’s like at LEAST five years older than everyone else on the stage. i wish that instead of being the backup dancers it was the actual members, because THAT would have been an image. theyre all wearing harnesses and collars anyways, just clip em in! he’d be like one of those dogwalkers!

me last week: specifically talking about how krump is an uncommon style in kpop and it's very hard to get right kingdom, throwing the manifesting dodgeball at me for the third time: here would you like a KRUMP SOLO?

if you didnt believe me before that krump is hard to get right, i sure hope you do now. peniel did fine, but you can see how easily you can veer off into looking ridiculous.

some conclusions

i mentioned this really briefly in an ask i got earlier today, but i do think it's important to establish that the two performance units are doing two different types of performances. i can understand why people are underwhelmed by the atz/skz/btob stage and wanted it to be less of a traditional kpop dance stage and more like the experimental stages we’ve been seeing for the last few weeks. and i agree! i think they could have done more with it. but i also think that this kind of stage was a good choice for this particular subunit. unlike with the sf9/tbz/ikon unit, there are not really any standout technical soloists in ateez or skz. ateez has, in my opinion, the highest ratio of dancers with actual stage presence of any of the 4th gen groups ive seen. they’re at a solid 75% for any given performance, and occasionally they can bump that higher depending on the stage. that high of a stat is rare. it's extremely rare for a group to have all its members have good stage presence (i can think of like, maybe two or three?), and to get over 50% is pretty damn impressive. but ateez’s strength isn’t in how good they individually are as dancers, but it's in how well they work together. there’s a reason why they put FIVE of them in the performance unit. one of the first things i said about ateez to hanya is ‘i love wooyoung but he doesn’t stand out when he's not centre.’ which is for good reason!! he’s not supposed to! they all willingly give up centre and take it back when they need to, because they have that charisma. there’s a very cohesive push and pull to watching ateez that speaks to their strengths as performers. dancing in a group where you are all meant to be equal is a very different skill than just being a talented soloist. you have to understand what to prioritize in a different way. taemin dances differently with shinee that he does in his solo career, especially since they’ve been back. he understands when to step back; more often than not i find key to be the standout dancer in shinee choreo.

this is a very long winded way of saying that wolf was a good choice for them even though the stage didn’t turn out as well as it could have. also the fact that they made a cohesive performance at all, with a week of rehearsal and while working with essentially strangers is a feat and speaks to all of their skill at their job. performing in a group is a huge part of kpop, and they did call this the performance stage, and not the dance stage.

i'm not entirely sure on what the breakdown is on why each of the subunits were formed. i know the team sizes are extremely uneven, with sf9/tbz/ikon clocking in at 26 people and atz/skz/btob clocking in at 17 (i'm not counting changsub because he's not there and probably has a scheduling conflict), which is like, a whole extra group of difference. but atz/skz/btob utilizing their whole groups for each of the units (5/3/1 for performance, 1/3/1 for rap, and 1/1/1 for vocal, for 7/7/3 total), verses sf9/tbz/ikon only bringing out six people for these two stages and then six for the vocal stage is......weird? that's over half of their group number that’s not performing. i do think the groups brought out their standout performers and made smart choices with the stages but the balance still strikes me as odd. i do wish tbz had actually done some group choreo because they are very strong group performers and it would have been fun to watch.

ateez really played the long game here, good job boys. teaming up with the group who gets the highest fan votes AND the group with the strongest technical skills? i see you.

i think this is probably too wild of an assumption and is only based on circumstantial evidence but.....i think hongjoong might actually have a lot more creative sway than i previously thought. all the stages he’s been a part of have been very well designed, and i know he provided suggestions for the two ateez stages prior to this... i’m probably thinking too much.

ok you know what i know there were some other points in my brain somewhere but this is already 4000 words so i’m going to stop. if i remember anything else its probably gonna end up in the answer to some of the asks i’m inevitably going to get because i think my opinions on these ones are a little bit more controversial, whoops!

not entirely sure if ill do an extensive review for next week’s stage, because i'm not really a ballad fan and i dont really do vocal reviews, but i could do a quick one. i guess it also depends on what else they put in the episode. we’ll see!!

#kingdom #kingdom review #ateez #btob #stray kids #the boyz #sf9 #kpop analysis #if you read this i hope you like fun facts about theatre and swords!#despite having never seen me hanya managed to clock that hongjoong and i are extremely similar #so that might be why ive jumped to this nonsensical conclusion #also tbh i do have an opinion on why the unit breakdowns are like that but its mean so i will keep it to myself #ok im done now #i patiently await my asks #text #lol forgot to tag #ikon

22 notes · View notes

despiteherself · 3 years

Text

what ur favourite ahkj side character says about you:

pancho: you’re a furry

willie: your doctor is giving u free handout of adderall bc ur broke ass couldn’t afford it otherwise

ted: as a child you wanted to be a cowboy when you grew up before you realised you’re scared of horses

horst: you secretly like taylor swift

hector: httyd2 was your least favourite movie of all time and you want people to stop asking you about it

dorothy: you subscribe to men’s magazines and pretend they belong to your boyfriend/husband/male dog

xixi: you know all the lyrics to the pina colada song

dr. s: you are also a furry. are they called scalies if it’s a snake? is that’s what’s going on?

rob mctod: you have an embarrassing crush on your best friend & they WILL definitely think differently about you if you told them

timo: a jock literally gave you a swirly in high school

mary Ann: you have girlboss gaslight gatekeep in modern calligraphy on your living room wall

butterfish: you don’t even bother to crack the window when you’re smoking weed in your work’s bathroom and literally everyone knows what you’re doing in there for like half an hour Jesus Christ man, you’re lucky the manager thinks you’re cute

tammy: you bully children at the playground because you have no life outside of babysitting your nephew and you call it “character building” when the police are called for the fifth time this week

todd: your parents & your kindergarten teacher got you professional mental help because you always painted only in black but it was literally just because that was the only colour left at the end of the day when you remembered that you actually wanted to paint

karl: you get upset that your ninety five year old grandfather doesn’t know what anime is

chauncey: you make vague posts on twitter about how rude it is to reply “kill it with fire” to any non conventional pet because you’re too scared to call people out directly

bruce: you’re trying to get your friends into investing in bitcoin

Trent and whatever the other dolphin is called: ok but seriously no one’s fave is the dolphins

king shark: you need scocophobia tagged

tentacle: you think your posts of rupi kapur poetry and like screencaps from pride and prejudice are high art

hans: you haven’t heard of deodorant

crimson: you have deep worries about the state of the earth, and how everything feels like it’s going to shit but you’re so overwhelmed by the state of all you just sort of do nothing and then like order doordash for the fourth time this week because your vegan boyfriend has cooked tempeh and seaweed for dinner again.

pam: you think anyone agreeing with someone else online and they follow each other is like, a secret cult

king joey: your favourite movie is wallace and gromit

karen: you are married to your childhood sweetheart, have three kids and a nursing degree

masakura: you think phoebe from friends is underrated and won’t stop telling people that

sage moondancer: you think you’re special because butterflies are your favourite animal and give unsolicited commentary about how you think they scream whilst in their pupa and present it like a real scientific fact

koto: idk some trump voter joke. #mmga

the crocodile ambassador: once you found a monogrammed handkerchief whilst op-shopping and you’re convinced it’s got your initials on it but really there’s a clothes moth hole and a weird stitch that doesn’t fit in and you throw a tantrum whenever one of your friends point this out

princess amy: you want your pet japanese spitz to be instafamous and you bully all your friends into liking and sharing all the photos you post

andy fairfax: you tell everyone you meet a different back story because the Heath Ledger joker is your icon and you will get into a fistfight with anyone who liked Joaquin Phoenix’ portrayal better

fred the giant scorpion: no one will watch movies with you because they hate having to explain that not every movie is a documentary

zora: you have a subscription beauty box addition and you won’t admit you need help

uncle king julien: you’re a simp for henry winkler and u know what? i respect that

grandma rose: you see a buff woman and you stan

butterfly queen: you unironically post “just because I’m beautiful doesn’t mean I’m not fierce” posts whilst you’re getting a manipedi and think that’s peak femininsm

prince barty: you think James Bond is a real man

princess julienne: you get mad when people think you “had” a superwholock teaboo phase. you’re still in it, it’s just called a dark academica now >:(

julien the terrible: as a child your friends dared you to eat a millipede and you did it but then they all called you millipede-breath and laughed about it and told everyone, and so you planned a years long revenge plan that you’re still slowly finalising to this day

becca: you have like ten brothers and you have to beat them at literally everything. you punch harder, spit farther, yell louder.

abner: you’re trying out a new clothing style and are disappointed that no ones noticed you look different

magic steve: you get mad when people can’t pick out the 42 ingredients you out into a soup you overpowered with garlic

brodney: you’re that sibling that’s like at least 10 years younger than your siblings so you know you were definitely a mistake and No! Of course it doesn’t affect you in any way! How dare anyone suggests that!

stanislove: you’re obsessed with the space race and goddamn i am SO damn sick of hearing about it

any of the pirates: you’re like 13

maggie the unwashed: you are literally 13 and you think fart jokes is peak humour

pineapple: you are allergic to strawberries and if you hear “oh, like pepper potts?” one more time you will commit murder and that just can’t happen because if you’re arrested then they’ll finally catch you for tax fraud

shrimp cocktail: your meat is huge

watermelon hawking: in your spare time you ponder the inner workings of the universe because you think it makes you seem very smart but the truth is no one literally has any idea what you’re thinking about so it’s not actually doing anything to impress anyone? if you’re gonna be like that why not at least ask fake deep questions to make sure everyone knows you think you’re big brained and you’re sure your name will be in history books.

wickman wilderbeast: once you beat an old lady at arm wrestling and you won’t let anyone forget

#not counting the four core & every single version of mort #also they have to have a name & king Joey is my limit of the rats ok #if I forget anyone rip there’s too many characters #I definitely have forgotten characters but ok #I’m tired it’s late #ahkj #shitpost #pot post

37 notes · View notes

capriciouslyterminal · 3 years

Text

Wolves Don’t Do True Love’s Kiss

(Aka I wrote an Ishimondo Wolf Among Us oneshot thing instead of editing a paper and I’ve never posted my writing on tumblr before).

~Full idea credit goes to @andy-deer and his amazing art if you like Danganronpa or just cool art you really should follow him~

~Mondo’s the big bad wolf, Ishimaru’s the blind prince from Rapunzel. I know in the original fairytale I think the prince is blinded by thorns but listen a version of him being blinded by snakes lives in my brain from somewhere and I couldn’t not write it.~

~P.S. I don’t know that much about Wolf Among Us and I am sorry about that~

Mondo Oowada had been having the same dream a lot lately, ever since that night he shoved the guy who used to be The Minotaur through the display case of a yarn shop.

Normally he and the other fables didn’t have such violent altercations now that he split off from the pack, but then the detective called in a fucking favor from the big bad wolf himself.

And what else was he supposed to do? When the guy wouldn’t own up to the blood of all those teenagers stuck in his teeth and he wanted to put his horns through the dancing princess turned detective and her naive sidekick?

If he’d known the whole thing was going to lead to a blind prince from another story storming up to his apartment from the DA’s office to yell at him about property damage and chances of exposing the whole fable community at two in the morning while he was trying to sleep of the few times he got gored, he wouldn’t have bothered.

It really wasn’t his fault The Minotaur couldn’t afford enough glamor to withstand a single punch. And he’d told the annoying little shit as much, but the whole thing inevitably meant that he was seeing a lot of Kiyotaka Ishimaru whenever he was roped into being the muscle behind Kirigiri’s investigations. Which was fine. And normal.

But then the dreams started after that night at the bar, and everything changed.

~*~

He doesn’t know when it changed, when he went from running in the forest of his mind on four feet to two as he slept.

He never lost the sights or the smells of the old forest that had no name. But now he ran it as a man. No matter the wolf he would always be deep in his heart.

It was something like when his brother died. He’d been too young, hadn’t even finished cutting his teeth, when he was shunted from the dreams of hurtling through the night at the front of the pack to hurtling alone through the end of days.

There the isolation was a nightmare, a punishment, but this is not the same. This is a simple shifting of reality.

Sometimes he wonders, looking at the webs of veins stretched under the skin on the backs of his hands in the gray light of morning, when the glamor started to feel more real than his body.

When he grew so used to the delicate tapping of hands, to standing tall and far from the ground, that the memory of the nights spent slinking through the shadows on his belly faded. He would never truly know when that was lost.

All that meant was that now, whenever he had to shift back, it was no longer the shrugging off of a costume like in the early days in this new town.

It was shouldering back into an old coat, ill-fitting and smelling of pine, that stretched at the seams to hold him.

He was freezing now, dreaming, skin unprotected from the winter that could steal the breath from your lungs. He was running towards the tower with a panting in his heart and a frenzied howl in his mind.

~*~

He mentioned it only once, over drinks.

Or, well, more specifically, only Mondo had the real drinks. Something old and amber that burned as it went down. Something served in a glass of gently melting ice that was always refilled whenever he shot a slip of teeth to the bartender and flexed his bloody knuckles while eyeing the shelves of glassware behind him.

The bartender in another life, another place, not that it mattered much anymore, had been a pig. Mondo could tell not just from the swell of his pale throat and the slight tilt of his nose, but the fear that sprang in the air as soon as Mondo had entered that first night in town. The man froze like he was still the prey.

As soon as he’d entered the establishment for the first time, and seen the bartender shakily reach to stroke the brick wall for comfort, he knew the little pig remembered him. Mondo hadn’t paid for drinks in four years, and he hadn’t even needed to threaten to blow down the joint.

Not that he would do that anymore. Now, with cigarettes and cash in the pockets of his long coat, he would have had some complaints for the structure of the building and nothing more to add. Now, he could have figured out how to bring it down with his fist in moments instead of having to empty his lungs.

Getting Kiyotaka within the brickwork bar’s confines had been an accomplishment of its own, a sign of respect for their still growing friendship that made Mondo swell with pride and grin to himself at the sight of an old world prince crammed into a booth at his favorite dingy bar.

The first time he asked for drinks after a successful arrest, and had seen Kiyotaka nod against the neon backdrop of the city with an uncertain smile, he’d practically howled with glee. If he still had his tail it would have wagged.

But getting him to sip anything harder than soda water was a losing man’s game.

~*~

The pines are so familiar he could think of them as his own brothers, feeding the deer whose innards he lived on before he found new villages to savage. Even as he left the skin of the wolf, he would never be free of this forest that still shuddered with his howls if he stopped to listen.

But the tower, crooked and dark against the snowy sky, is new. Rising from the thorny ground as if it had been summoned from Hell itself.

A break in the tree-line, a monument of dark stone frozen in a twisting shudder as it reached for the clouds. The single shining yellow window gleams like an eye watching him approach.

If he saw eyes like than in an animal he’d think it was rotting from the inside out. He wouldn’t eat it, and instead leave it to bleed sluggishly into the soft earth.

The tower is sick.

A man is climbing it.

~*~

He’d been five drinks deep, warm in the belly and ready to curl up by the golden hearth that kept the bar warm, when it finally happened. He hadn’t actually curled up by a hearth in years, and would only consider it after five more drinks.

But needless to say, he was drowning in golden comfort when he’d asked about the tower.

When he felt the air that had been so warm a moment ago freeze as the words left his mouth. A question that had been scratching at the backdoor of his mind since Kiyotaka had pounded on his door and demanded Mondo put on a proper glamor when he accidentally grabbed a hunk of his hair.

“It just doesn’t seem like you,” Mondo said. The words slurred, flowing between his teeth and tongue like a river. “A blind prince of all fuckin’ people. Breaking and entering.”

There was that twitch of an eyebrow, displeasure kept on a tight leash, that made Mondo’s heart clench with fondness.

It was a feeling like he swallowed the sun, his gut full of light, only for it try to kick its way back up out of his throat.

“I wasn’t always–I did not break anything! And I entered with permission.”

Kiyotaka had discovered the napkin dispenser on the table earlier in the night, sopping up a ring of condensation that Mondo had been happy to leave to sink into the table. He made use of it now, and quickly shredded a napkin between his pale fingers.

“Come off it, man.” Mondo chuckled, raised the glass to his lips, and took another swig. “What would permission to break into a tower in the middle of the fuckin’ woods even sound like?”

“I didn’t break into her tower.” Even blind, Kiyotaka knew how to glare with the best of them. Another napkin was plucked from the table, but he worried at it for a bit longer this time.

“She was screaming,” Kiyotaka said. “I was nearby, hunting, and at first I thought it was the wind. But then I really listened. And she was screaming.”

~*~

The man is up higher than the treetops, clutching the stones of the tower with his bare hands. The wind is whispering, the clouds humming in anticipation.

Mondo breaks into the space, and a name rings out like a bell in his throat. He howls with it, staring up at the figure as he runs. He is too far away to catch him should anything happen.

When the man turns to look down, all Mondo can see is the red pinprick of his eyes burning against the grey eternity of the sky. And his hands.

His fingers are bloody at the tips, streaks of crimson left on the stones. He broke his nails against the brick of the tower, flecks of scratched into his pale skin. He surely has been climbing for days and is nowhere closer to the top.

Even as he runs, Mondo knows that though he has hands, he cannot climb fast enough to reach him.

“Stop!” He hears himself roar. “You’ll fall.”

The man looks down, and Mondo feels his smile on the wind. He is weeping, tears freezing before they reach the ground to shatter into icy shards.

~*~

“What did you hunt?” Mondo was not sure where the words came from inside of him.

Kiyotaka’s sightless eyes were pale flecks of ice under his furrowed brow. He crumpled the napkin in his hands, and immediately tried to smooth it out with a regretful twist to his mouth.

“I don’t know for sure anymore…it was so long ago. But there was talk of a wolf, I think.”

He let the space hang between them, gave Mondo a chance to haul him up by his collar with a growl. But the rage never came. Mondo knew him now.

He continued on.

“I wasn’t much of a hunter. But I knew that my grandfather should have–,” his voice melted as it always did when the old king came into the conversation. “It is the royal family’s duty to protect their people.”

The freezing slush of the past seeped down Mondo’s spine. For a second he almost could see his breath, as if the old forest had risen back up around him.

For a second he could almost imagine it. Them meeting there.

He could imagine himself standing on all fours heaving, staring into burning red eyes against a dark and ancient sky. A figure fit to stop his rampaging ways. Not a woodsman, crude and homely, but a prince.

Would he have used a bow? A sword? What would have come first? A slice through Mondo’s belly or Mondo’s teeth in his neck?

But those times were long gone, and the quiet murmur of bar patrons tethered the two of them in the present.

“She screamed, and I followed the sound…and I found the tower. I called up to her.”

Mondo could imagine that with ease. Kiyotaka thundering out of the forest like a madman, yelling up at a witch’s tower to try and ascertain if a screaming woman needed his help.

Kiyotaka trying to figure out the best way to help her as the sun went down and the temperature fell.

Kiyotaka shedding a finely embroidered coat to climb a random ass tower despite any good sense he might have been taught.

His princely fingers, tapered and gentle.

“I thought she had lowered a rope. I didn’t know until I held it in my hands that it was her hair. Sometimes I can still feel the slick weight it.”

His hands clenched, old scars scraped into the pads of his fingertips drawing across the table.

~*~

The man leans back, and with the gentle gasp of the wind, he falls.

Mondo is sure his heart falls with him

~*~

“She was so young. And so frightened, Mondo. I don’t think I’ll ever forget her face,” Kiyotaka said, stricken. “Her hair falling to the floor.”

Mondo was only aware of the thundering breaths he drew in and had to focus to release with care. The howling of the wind was still inside of him, screaming to be let out.

“I promised her I’d help her, find a way to get her out of that place. I had to. It was a single room and it was freezing. In the middle of winter! Imagine it, Mondo, a single stone room is all you know for eighteen years. I think I was the first man she’d ever seen. She stared at me like she couldn’t understand what I was. She held my hands and…and she wept.”

His hands were shaking bad. Mondo focused on his breath and felt claws scrape somewhere down deep with his bones, hiding under the skin of a man.

“I promised her I’d help her because that was my duty to my people. Because she deserved more than to be a witch’s prisoner. I promised her that I’d keep her safe. I just needed a ladder, something so she could climb down. I had to go back for one, and she didn’t want to let go of my hand. I had to pry her fingers off my wrist. She cried after me.” He admitted it like some shame, like something heavy on his chest that Mondo understood.

“It took a full day’s ride to return. I hadn’t realized how far I’d travelled. And as soon as I found a ladder long enough I turned and went straight back. I think I almost killed my horse, but I couldn’t stop to think.”

The words were falling out of him faster and faster. Mondo didn’t know how to stop him.

“When I got back, when I called up to her, there was no sound. She tossed nothing down for me. So I climbed on my own.” His fingertips twitched, a sardonic grin followed them and looked wrong on his face. “But I was too late. I wasn’t fast enough. She was not there to greet me upon my return. But the witch was.”

~*~

The man is caught in thorns. His fine clothes in the style of their homeland torn and dirtied. He is bleeding from his crown and moaning, but he does not scream. His bones are broken, his skin is bloody, his eyes are screwed tightly shut.

Mondo feels something terrible will happen once he opens them.

The snakes are looming, dry static across the ground.

Mondo flings himself into the thorns on instinct bred by his old skin and bellows at the pain of it.

~*~

Mondo suddenly reached out, on instinct bred by his old skin, and felt himself take Kiyotaka’s hand.

The prince of the old world was startled. Mondo heard the stutter of his heart. The gasp of his breath.

Mondo knew a want like a chasm, stretching and straining from his chest through his whole body. It drove him to hunt, to shatter, to shrink his pupils to slits, and to take all the world had with a guttural howl. This want shuddered through his body at the sight of Kiyotaka, golden in the light, parting his lips to speak.

He wants–he wants–he wants–

In a way he had not wanted since the old days.

~*~

He rips into the throats and bellies of snake after snake. He tears scale and muscle with his teeth and flings the corpses away with his hands until the ground is littered with them.

Only when they are all dead, when the root-like curve of their bodies are all he can see, does he turn back to the man. He whimpers and the tears leak from under his closed eyes. He is beautiful.

Mondo takes his face in his hands, feels the sharp press of his cheekbone against the palm of his hand, and moves close enough to feel the warmth of his shuddering breath on his face. Holding him close, their foreheads almost touching.

Mondo feels the venom drip from his lips now, venom from the throats of the snakes that would fall to the man’s eyes and have force him cry out while his body recoiled. Venom that would steal his sight and cast his eyes in icy nothingness.

But it is all he can do to press even closer, feel the man’s heart beat in one with his own, and ghost his lips over the chilled ones.

The man screams into the kiss, and Mondo howls with him.

He always wakes in a cold sweat, and the moon is full and staring down at him from the sky.

~*~

Kiyotaka had continued the story, Mondo had not listened, too entranced by the simple impossibility of holding Kiyotaka’s hand.

“I think she kept her there the whole time, Mondo. And I don’t know what I wanted to do but that woman…she told me I had failed to protect the girl and she–she grabbed me and…”

Mondo could hear Kiyotaka’s heart thundering in his chest. Sweat was pouring down his forehead, tears welling up the creases of his eyes. It was like he could feel Mondo looking at him even as he kept his eyes downcast.

“And I fell.” His voice was hardly a rasp, utterly hollow.

Again, Mondo moved on instinct.

Pulling Kiyotaka to him felt like coming home, squeezing his arms around his back as tight as he dared felt like obeying a rule of the new world. Like casting a glamor.

“Hey man, it’s alright now,” Mondo murmured. Something warm blossomed through the want in his chest, and it coated his voice.

“Mondo.” Kiyotaka’s voice was strangled, his arms hovered above Mondo’s back, as if he were unsure how to put them down.

“None of that shit matters anymore, yeah? You’re here now. With me. And I wouldn’t let anything like that happen to you again, swear on my fuckin’ life.”

Kiyotaka took in a shaking breath that hitched in his chest.

“We’re out of the woods, Taka. You and me.”

Kiyotaka let out the slightest sob, equal parts relieved and haunted, and finally wrapped his arms around Mondo. He surrendered himself into the embrace, and Mondo felt everything inside of him shift as Kiyotaka Ishimaru took up residence within the beating of his heart.

And everything changed, simple as that.

~Thank you for reading this, if you did! And thank you again to @andy-deer for their amazing art which has made me smile any day when I was feeling particularly down~

#danganronpa #Ishimondo #Wolf Among Us AU #My Writing #God is this a struggle to post

66 notes · View notes

itbe-jess · 3 years

Text

Masklophobia: Chapter 5

This chapter is brought to you by The Banana Splits: Sloppy Nights, by Fazie Funbear. (Game can be downloaded for free on Gamejolt)

And Miss Yum-Yum's Canned Human Luncheon Meat. (Processed with the paradise's most elegant seasonings, with no fillers or cereal binders)

Everything that happened on that date, October 17, 1992, was all caught on security footage. Anyone to watch them would probably not retain their sanity. Late at 5:48 AM, the evidently missing Karl Rodriguez snuck into the studio, wearing his King Karl costume. While inside, he commenced with some really unusual mischief. Breaking all the phones he could find in the building, and tampering with the locks on every door, even the windows. After that, he invited all of his "friends" inside. The actors of Karl's Paradise, wearing their costumes.

The actors spoke to Karl, in a language that didn't sound human, or English for that matter. Snarling, gargling, moaning, and growling, that was the talk of zombies. They also sounded like they were woefully ravenous. The Critters went up to Karl, as though they're expecting him to give them something. Possibly food. Karl, getting into his TV show character, calmed them down.

"Now now, my subjects! I can see plain as day that you are all utterly famished! Don't worry, you'll get what you wanted for days. Just have to wait a little teensy bit longer! Remember: Good things come to those who wait!"

He then told the Critters to get into their positions. "Like we rehearsed," Karl mentioned. The day arrived, and Karl was waiting patiently in the office of Andy Matthews, the network executive. Everyone entered the building without any awareness of the doors. Employees, actors, all thinking they were gonna safely go home when the day is done. The only one of the Critters that was out in the open was Barkstone, which everyone called while looking with judgement, "Stevie."

Everyone just passed by while being weirded out. All Barkstone did was casually wave. The only person he gained attention from was the studio producer, who was holding his cellular phone. The man had gotten concerned over "Stevie," wearing his hot sweaty costume, in a studio he no longer works in. When the producer began to ask questions, Barkstone only gestured the producer to follow him.

Dressing room cam: An actress comes in, about to get ready for her next shoot, when suddenly she noticed Saxxo was in her company, playing his saxophone. Funny, whenever Saxxo played his sax on camera, the music would come out of a stereo, played by someone else doing the sax. He really sounded like he was playing the sax. How could he play that thing in that costume, she thought. The actress was quite amused by the act. She already had a boyfriend, but "Drew" really impressed her.

She asked how he did it, but Saxxo spoke not. Instead, he signaled her to sing with him, playing a familiar tune he hoped she understood. Despite the actress thinking she doesn't sing well, she did it anyways for fun. Together, the two made quite a musical duet. She was having such a great time with "Drew" that she completely forgot about the role she was supposed to get dressed for. R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Find out what it means to me! R-E-S-P-E-C-T! take care, TCB! The manager was outside of the room, listening to the whole performance.

Then, just when her mouth was wide opened, trying to hit the high notes, Saxxo dropped his sax, grabbed the actress, and jammed a lollipop prop down her throat. He did it at quick ease so her screams couldn't be heard. There was choking, saliva trickling, blood dripping, and eventually after 30 seconds, complete silence.

The manager knocked on the door, asking the actress if she were alright. Worried, he barged in. Nobody was in the room, but the actress's disturbing choked corpse. The manager dropped down to his knees, and held the body to his so he could examine her pulse. He tried to pull out the lollipop prop. Saxxo came out of hiding. When the manager saw Saxxo's feet, he looked up at the towering mascot before him. Then, the tiger bashed his saxophone against the man's face, hard enough to instanly kill him.

Costume room cam: A page enters the room, to check on the costumes. One in particular caught his eye, and that was the Slouch suit, hanging on the wall. Strange, he said to himself, that wasn't in here before. And it wasn't supposed to be there either. Before Karl left, he took all of his costumes with him, and he was sure he brought along Slouch too. He doesn't know where Karl is, but he might as well take that suit down anyways. When he got closer, he noticed a few things off about the costume.

For one thing, the costume smelled bad. Another thing, he could've sworn he heard faint breathing, outside of the suit, not inside. Lastly, the costume looked as though someone was already wearing it, based on its bulkiness. Curious, the page slowly reached for the mask, to see if anything was inside the costume. Slouch wrapped his arms around the page, in a very tight grasp. It brought the page into a struggle, but he couldn't squirm from the orangutan's strength. He began crying for help, but Slouch shut him up by biting off the top of his head.

Ventilation room cam: Barkstone was boring the producer to death with magic tricks he didn't know how to do. With Barkstone's show being a waste of time, the producer decided to save the questions for later, and get back on schedule. However, Barkstone grabbed the man's cellular phone, placed it in a tiny sack, then tapped on it a few times with his wand. As expected, the phone was in pieces, beyond repair.

"Okay, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, STEVIE?! Why are you still wearing that stupid costume, why are you doing this nonsense shit, and why are you wasting my goddamn tim-"

But Barkstone had one more trick in mind. The blue dog backed the producer into a box, then locked him in. That made the man angrier, cursing to the top of his lungs. He wasn't angry for long once he saw Barkstone take out a saw. A real saw, and not a plastic one. First the dog pulled a handkerchief from out of his glove, and stuffed it into the man's mouth so his screams become inaudible. He was finally gonna perform a trick he never got a chance to do.

Then, he started sawing through the box, just how an unprofessional magician would do it. The producer's screams were loud, but good thing that hanky deafened them a bit. On the floor spilled sawdust and blood. Eventually, when his saw cut its way through the box, and the screaming stopped. Barkstone then divided the box in half. The entrails, with more pools of blood, poured out. The proud dog took a bow to his imaginary audience.

Lounge cam: Two male crew members were both having coffee, while bonding over small chat. As one of them turned around, Mama LongLegs decended upside down from the ceiling. With stealth, she put her first set of hands on crew member #1's mouth to silence him, and used her second set to give his neck a quick snap. When crew member #2 turned back around, wondering why his pal didn't answer his question, what he found was an unpleasant surprise. His pal lying dead on the floor, with a snapped neck.

Before he could run, Mama LongLegs reappeared, still upside down. One of her six hands grabbed hold of the man's head, to have him facing her. The pink spider delivered a "Shhhhhhh...", then took out a pair of tongs. What did she do with the tongs? Ripped his throat right out of his neck. With another victim down, LongLegs took that throat and ate it whole. After that, she made her exit by crawling into the vent.

Hallway 3 cam: Another male crew member was walking down the hall, talking on his beeper. Fins was hiding in the corner, with a pail of water. When the crew member came by, Fins splashed him with the liquid, then stepped on his beeper. That made the crew member furious, but that was Fins' general idea, as she put her fins over her large mouth and laughed. She also spat on him, hoping to make him mad enough to have him follow her to her trap. For a test, she ran into the men's room. The plan had worked as the man went after "Rebecca" there.

We see from the footage that he entered the men's room with her. Although they were now out of the camera's view, we can only figure out what's happening by the sounds. First we heard angry words from the crew member, then confused words, then splashing noises, then drowning gargle noises. A female crew member heard the commotion, then knocked, asking "What the hell is going on in there?" Fins pulled her inside. Instead of the same noises, we heard violent tears, screams of pain, and before you knew it, blood leaked from under the restroom's gap.

Designer room cam: The art designer rushed into the office, and slammed the door shut. She couldn't lock it, since her lock was still broken, so all she could do was hide. But where? We can clearly tell she's been in a chase, with how heavy she was breathing. When she heard the knob turn, her panicked instincts made her press against the corner wall, where she'd be hidden behind the door once her chaser enters. The chaser invites themself in. It appears that the art designer was set in a wild goose chase.

Van Goose looked left, and she looked right. She saw the woman run into this room, so she's got to be somewhere. She decided to search all around. The art designer remained hidden behind the door, trying to mute her breathing. Van Goose suddenly hesitated, like she were thinking for a moment. And so, the goose walked backwards to where she came in, and took the door as she began to close it very slowly. The art designer poked her head forward, as she felt like it was now safe to come out.

SLAM! These Paradise Critters were more clever than you think. Van Goose just crushed the art designer between the wall, and the door. Her body was now a big splattered mess. She saw the art designer run into this room, so she had to be somewhere. Van Goose made the best of it by taking some blood off with a paintbrush, and painted herself a "cute" little picture on the wall.

Kitchen cam: It seems Yum-Yum was getting ahead of her friends. She had one crew member burning in the oven, another one stuck into a pot of boiling water, and right now she was filleting an actor on the counter. The director walks in and witnessed the horrifying scene. Yum-Yum put down her cleaver and grabbed the woman. The bear looked around the kitchen to find anything useful. She already has something cooking in the oven. There's no room in the boiling pot. Maybe... Nah, the blender and food processor were too small.

Until she spotted the microwave. Microwaves are pretty convenient for cooking instant meals. She opened the door, and forced the director's head inside. Next, she turned on the settings. The director struggled, but failed to make the slightest budge from Yum-Yum's grip. All she could do was scream as the radiation started to effect her head, and then eventually get nuked.

Main stage floor cam: Junior was doing nothing more but riding on the presentation cart, like an average child. Crew members were attempting to stop him, and at the same time avoid him constantly, but Junior refused to listen. Soon, one of them tripped, which gave Junior the opportunity to run straight through his body, three times or four. The woolly mammoth eventually knocked down some crew members on his own, and did the same to them too. The rest then decided to just run away instead of trying to stop Junior, and the mammoth wheeled after them.

The crew members who'd been run over by the cart weren't entirely dead, but rather severely injured. ...really, really badly. Just then, they got finished off as some stage lights fell on their faces. It wasn't from Junior, but a friend who was trying to help out. Slouch the orangutan was up on the power grids, hanging bodies by their intestines.

Control room cam: Finally, we are brought to LabRat. He had one crew member tied to a chair, and another one strapped to a serving cart. To the victim on the chair, he ripped out some wires from the machinery, and electrocuted the man to a crisp. LabRat got electrocuted himself in the process, but it didn't effect him whatsoever. Besides, this is what mad scientists are supposed to do.

To the victim on the serving cart, LabRat started to slip on some gloves, then took out a scalpel. What the giant rat intends to do is dissect the crew member alive. He sliced open the guy's stomach in a single cut. LabRat placed both of his hands inside, feeling at the squishy organs. He pulled out the kidney, the stomach, the spleen, the liver, the pancreas, the large intestines, the small intestines, and last but not least, the beating heart. Just as the crew member was now dead, LabRat licked his gloves clean of the blood.

More and more people became aware of the massacre, and there was nothing they could do about it. They couldn't leave on account of all the doors being locked on the outside. They couldn't contact help on account of all of the phones being destroyed, and the Critters snatched every electronic they had on them. They couldn't kill them on account that they would just heal, either from a mere slash or a stab. Nobody's screams could carry out of Tam, due to the studio's thick walls.

Main entrance cam: Andy arrived into the studio, but as he saw all those fractured, mangled, and slaughtered corpses, he turned back to the door for his quick exit. But the door was locked from the outside, to prevent his escape. He banged his fist against the door, and tried to call for help. Saxxo grabbed the executive by the shoulders, and held onto him. He was just the man they've been waiting for, and they can't do anything until they hear the command from King Karl. The music played to signal him.

🎵Heyyyyyyyyy!

Wouldn't you like to go far away?

To a wonderful place, you say?

Where all your friends are here everyday!

Karl's Paradise is where to stay!🎵

Not very long, all the Critters gathered up to meet Saxxo at the main entrance, and King Karl came out to introduce himself to his old "pal" Andy.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE, KARL?!! WHAT IS THIS?!! HAVE YOU GONE CRAZY?!!"

"Uh uh uh, Andy! The rules of the Paradise states that you must be on your best behavior! That includes watching your profanity!"

"WHY ARE YOU ACTING THIS WAY?! DON'T TELL ME THIS HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOUR DAMN SHOW BEING CANCELLED!!"

"Ah, you're a fast learner! You see, as king of the Paradise, it is my duty to make sure all of my subjects are happy, including myself! And when you take away the thing that means so much to me, that makes me unhappy. So, if you're not gonna cooperate in the Paradise, I kindly ask you to leave. Or better yet... ...split!"

Saxxo released Andy's shoulders and grabbed for his arm. Barkstone grabbed the other arm. Van Goose and Fins took his legs. The four Critters started to tug in opposite directions. Andy let out some blood curdling screams. Karl was singing a musical number from his show, "Why Win When You Can Have Fun," as the others danced in place. They made it look like it were a happy time, when it really wasn't. The four Critters kept tugging with all their might, until Andy's limbs ultimately popped off.

Karl stopped singing and announced to his Critters that they shall have a feast to celebrate. Andy's limbless corpse was left to lie there on the floor. He was still alive, but he would eventually die soon from blood drainage. Feeling helpless, all the man could do was weep in pain.

Karl's Paradise was made possible by the unfortunate fools who failed to escape their fate here at the now confined Tam Studios, and viewers like you. Thank you.

#The Banana Splits Movie #Remake #horror #original characters #Masklophobia #Blood tw #Gore tw #(I guess text limitation works better on desktop site)

16 notes · View notes

soyouareandrewdobson · 3 years

Text

Andy on Asian Animation or SYAC: The Master Review 2

Let’s talk a bit about anime and Dobson’s work relation with it.

I think we can all agree, that starting from the late 90s and early 2000s on, anime and manga became extremely popular in the western world. Sure, Japanese animation was nothing completely new to us (Speed Racer, Nadia-Secret of Blue Water, Samurai Pizza Cats, Sailor Moon, Kimba and Akira e.g. come to my mind as properties already known in the west before 1995) but it really was around this time that thanks to “mainstream” stuff like Dragon Ball and Pokemon people became aware of how different Japanese animation was from western. Eventually resulting in the really good shit (like Cowboy Bebop, Black Lagoon, Kenshin and Heat Guy J) coming over and enriching nerd culture for more than just a few people who knew of it as an obscurity at that point. Now, if you know anything about Dobson, you likely know that his relationship with anime is rather… complicated to say the least. Or, to let him explain it with his own words…

Dobson essentially likes silly and wacky 90s anime. But later on he hated anime in general, because it got too popular and a bad experience with an anime club in college soured his enjoyment of it. Furthermore, he put the blame on his lackluster art style and storytelling capabilities as seen in the likes of Formera, Patty and Alex ze Pirate, on anime in general, while also claiming that Disney pulling the plug on 2D animation is the result of the “anime inspired” Treasure Planet, meaning anime in a sense deprived him of his chance at working at his dream job and “ruining” western animation.

Which to me has always been ignorant as fuck. For starters, I can understand not liking certain stories or genres, either for objective or subjective reasons. But to hate on an entire nation’s form of entertainment (not just individual shows or genres), depriving yourself of the chance of potentially watching a lot of good stuff while also being rather insulting to these other works and people enjoying them? Especially when the stuff you can supposedly “stomach” has been rather simplistic compared to other things?

Second, blaming Japan for “poisoning” your art style? What, did the ghost of Osamu Tezuka possess you and FORCE you to put sweatdrops on your characters forehead while also going for the rather simplistic character style of Rumiko Takahashi, as well as emulating the slapstick of the likes as Slayers and Ranma ½?

Next, if he had emulated them successfully, I say he would have actually managed to tell decent enough stories worth to read online. Not create Uncle Peggy aka “Discount Happosai” or the bland proto-Isekai known as Formera.

I mean, let’s give some context here: There have been people who successfully managed to emulate certain anime and manga aesthetics into western animation and make it work. Otherwise we wouldn’t have gotten the likes of Avatar-The last Airbender, Samurai Jack, the Animatrix, Thundercats 2011, Super Robot Monkey Hyperforce Go, Kim Possible, W.I.T.C.H, Megas XLR and Wakfu. You know, shows that are actually awesome as hell.

Heck, Dobson’s favorite animated show of the last decade, Steven Universe, is heavily inspired by anime aesthetics to the point of being embarrassing.

But Dobson… well, he emulated anime aesthetics in his work the same way as these crimes against animation did.

Combined with his general shortcomings as a storyteller it is no wonder his initial comics did not do well.

Lastly, and sorry for digressing here a bit, but if the Wikipedia entry on Treasure Planet is something to go by, there was no real inspiration by anime involved in making this movie.

Supposedly the idea of making an animated Treasure Planet in outer space movie was already pitched by Ron Clements WAY BACK in 1985 but only came to be after Michael Eisner greenlighted stuff in the late 90s. Design wise the movie was supposed to look 70% traditional and 30% sci-fi inspired and people took inspiration for the art style by illustrators associated with the Brandywine School of Illustration. A western style of illustration established in the 19th century, that had a big impact on the illustration styles for many 19th and early 20th century adventure novels and short stories.

What, is anime supposed to be the only form of animation allowed to have sci fi elements or steampunk in it? Fucks sake, The Lion King and Atlantis, which came out one year earlier to Treasure Planet, were likely more inspired by anime. Don’t believe me? Watch Atlantis and then a certain anime by Studio Gainax called “Nadia-Secret of Blue Water”. Or read up on the controversy surrounding the two.

The truth is, it is not entirely clear what caused Disney to shut down 2D feature film animation in the early 2000s. In fact, if anything, most people put the blame on Michael Eisner and a certain change in the publics taste in movies in general, combined with Disney trying to turn almost every movie they had into a franchise via cheap follow up movies on video and DVD.

And even if Disney did not shut down, are we really supposed to believe that a certain guy with fedora would have made it big at Disney to the point Alex ze Pirate would have been made into a feature film?

But Dobson could never quite understand this and instead of “reinventing” himself properly, he would rant about anime and its fans in one form or another…

And on the peak of his hissy fit create this little art piece he baptized Anime Sux. Alternatively “West vs East”. Or as I like to call it, slap a jap.

Now, the pic was done in 2008 and Dobson claimed sometimes in the last decade, that he no longer holds his old opinions. Unfortunately, by that point he would also more or less use the chance to vent in his webcomic about anime (or rather its fans), which brings us finally back to SYAC.

While Dobson never outright thematized in more detail WHY he hates anime and manga in SYAC (likely cause if his comic reasoning was even slightly like his reasoning in his blogs, people would have torn him apart like a bag of paper) he did use the format to punch down on anime fans and their preferences.

For example, for someone who has a 4chan story going around of having been rather arrogant towards others in college for not liking Ranma ½, Dobson has THIS little college related comic to show off, where he portrays an aspiring manga artist as a delusional jackass.

Then in this strip titled manga, his manga fan is essentially portrayed as a young woman dressing up like a very stereotypical high school anime girl, who is in the wrong for even just DARING to draw her comics in the direction manga are read.

On one hand, I get Dobson’s point. She could be at risk of alienating a market of readers as she is obviously drawing for a western audience. Then again, if she doesn’t draw a traditional western comic but a manga, why shouldn’t she? I mean, as long as she enjoys it, which I assume she does as she seems genuinely just happy when stating that she likes manga, why not let her? Plus, this comic was drawn in the late 2000s. I think by then most people kinda knew how to read from right to left, so Dobson’s claim she would alienate or confuse people is kinda redundant. If anything I find a) Dobson getting angry at her just very petty (just let her have fun) and b) portraying a western manga fan as someone who would be confused by the sheer idea of reading stuff from right to left is also in itself just really dumb and insulting. What is Dobson trying to imply? That anime fans are so stuck in the way they consume certain media, they can’t act according to “western standards” again?

Then there is this strip where yet another female anime fan is essentially portrayed as the embodiment of how “ignorant” manga fans are of the idea of different art styles...

Which becomes rather laughable once Dobson describes his style as a mixture of European, American and Japanese. Why? Because he is the one oversimplifying things, rather than the anime fan.

You see while anime and manga of all sorts do share certain aesthetics (like the black and white art style, emphasize on the eyes of characters, the way hair is drawn, recurring tropes within certain genres and so on) style wise (both in art and storytelling) there can be severe differences, depending on the artist alone. Akira Toriyama’s style differentiates significantly from the likes of Eichiro Oda, Rumiko Takahashi, Kentaro Miura, Tezuka, Kaori Yuki and so forth.

The same also goes for many western artists. Herge had a significantly different style from Uderzo and Goscinny. Don Rosa has a different style in which he drew Scrooge McDuck than Carl Barks did. Rob Liefeld and Jim Lee draw mainstream superheroes differently compared to how Jack Kirby, George Perez and others did. Heck, Ethan Van Sciver and Jim Lee were closely associated with Green Lantern in the 2000s and look how they differentiate.

Which btw is the kind of skill level Dobson would have needed to have, to make it in the mainstream industry

So when Dobson says “I draw in a combination of American, Western and Japanese” all I can think is the following: THAT DOESN’T NARROW IT DOWN! WHAT THE HECK HAVE YOU LEARNT IN COLLEGE ABOUT COMICS? WHICH ARTISTS, WORKS AND STORYTELLERS DO YOU TRY TO EITHER EMULATE OR HAVE BEEN INSPIRED BY?

Then there is this little thing…

Where do I even begin? How about the fact that Dobson’s hand in the last panel looks like he has lost a thumb? The fact that the little boy, anime fan or not, is aware of Sae Sawanoguchi, a character from a short lived OVA and anime series from the 90s, which considering his age, I kinda doubt he would be aware off. Unlike Dobson, who got into anime in the 90s and admits in fact within the posts I loaded up earlier, that he had watched the anime in particular, known in the west as Magic User Club.

Then there is the implication by Dobson, that anime is so “corruptive” as a medium, little kids don’t even know the most basic characters in western animation because of it. I expect in a next panel, that all of sudden some 50s PSA guy comes along and lectures me that if I want this kind of thing not to happen at MY convention, I need to teach little kids more about the GOOD western animation, instead of the BAD eastern one. Then there is this rather unflattering portrayal of a shonen ai/shojou ai fangirl…

Which makes me laugh cause honestly, even some of the worst shonen ai and shojou ai can do better in portraying a “realistic” gay relationship than Patty if you ask me.

Also, as much as I think fangirls can be extremely thirsty (I have read my fair share of extremely stupid yaoi and yuri fanfics) I think that in hindsight Dobson is really not anyone to complain about shipping obsession and sex when he himself has KorraSami, the Ladybug fandom and a certain rat pirate under his floppy belt.

As you can imagine, Dobson would get heat for those comics, considering how he himself has been greatly inspired by anime and manga for his major comics. And while I don’t have any explicit deviantart posts of him reacting to criticism in that regard, I do have this comic which addresses it directly.

And yeah, if I were schoolgirl number 4, I would just sigh and walk away after telling Dobson that his mistakes and shortcomings are not related to having consumed anime, but rather by what sort of anime (and other stories) he had consumed and the amount of effort he had put in creating his stories instead of emulating just something more popular. Plus, if you really want people to draw more from life, how about drawing more from life yourself down the line? And no, tracing Star Wars movie frames does not count.

Finally, Dobson, considering how very little most people think of your work, I say mission accomplished: People have learnt from your mistakes and know not to be a Dobson.

And at last, there is this comic, which kinda wraps up Dobson’s “vendetta” with anime and manga fans within the pages of SYAC.

By trying to mock anime fans and make them look just as shallow as he is. I at least suppose. Honestly, the message of this comic is rather muddled. On one hand, I would say the strawman accusing Dobson hates anime just because it is popular is very simplified. After all, Dobson has made his reasons for not liking anime clear in a few more details. It’s just that the details in and on themselves in real life are still rather shallow and boil down to a lot of personal bias rather than an objective criticism of actual flaws. Which I think is worth pointing out.

But frankly, what is Dobson trying to say or point out here? That the strawman is not so different or even dumber than him, because he hates Justin Bieber for “shallow” and superficial reasons too?

Okay, this doesn’t quite work as well as Dobson wants. First, the argument Dobson’s strawman makes is in huge parts based on some verified statements Dobson made for not liking anime. Second, he just says a name and that triggers the guy to express his hatred for Bieber. We don’t know why the guy hates Bieber and you could make in fact the case, that he hates him not because he is popular, but because he has a genuine issue with the artist, his work or his behavior as a human being. Third, if you want to make yourself look like the better person Dobson, try to argue with the guy and make solid arguments why you don’t like anime. Instead you just deflect the criticism by changing the subject and then try to make yourself look like the “smarter” person in the room by mocking your critic in the most condescending manner.

Which as I think about it, sounds like your modus operandi on twitter and tumblr.

Weirdly enough, that more or less marks the “end” of Dobson tackling anime fans and the beef he has with them within the pages of SYAC. Despite how much Dobson’s negative reputation especially in early years was build around him hating on anime and belittling its fans, he didn’t really do more afterwards in the Dobson focused pages of SYAC. And mind you, those strips were also separated by other strips in-between, focused on Dobson just being at conventions.

Unfortunately for him, the strips didn’t really help in any way to diminish that negative reputation and instead just confirmed for many, that Dobson can’t handle criticism about his flawed opinion on anime. If anything, it just made people think even less of Dobson, as the strips just painted him as someone who would rather portray his critics as strawman he can be “rightfully” annoyed at, instead of fellow humans with slightly different tastes in entertainment, who are still worth listening to.

So, now that we have the anime fan related “annoyances” out of the way, what other sort of silly problems in making webcomics would Dobson cover in his strips and are “relatable” to everyone?

Lets see some of these examples in the next part.

#anime / manga #manga #Andrew Dobson #fuck you Tom Preston #Tom Preston #syac #so...you are a cartoonist #so you are a cartoonist #review #webcomic #comic #adobsonsartwork #adobsoncomic #adobsonartworks

22 notes · View notes