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kiss-inthekitchen · 3 years

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all that you ask of me | loki laufeyson

summary: you and Loki have a discussion about your kinks, and you learn something about him that you weren’t expecting

wc: 1.5k

warnings: smutty themes!! talk of bdsm, both reader and loki are switches and they aren't chill about it, teasing, light degradation but in a cute way, sub!loki, dom!loki, f!reader. loki has huge bisexual switch energy and i had to put it in a fic

a/n: title is kind of unrelated lol it makes more sense in the next chapter. pls let me know if you like it, i love when u guys leave comments or tags !

It’s been a few weeks since you and Loki had started dating and your sexual chemistry has been insane, which was a surprise to neither of you. You’d started out as friends, and even then, any time Loki had so much as brushed his fingers along your skin you felt something akin to electricity spike through your body. And though he was loath to admit it at first, Loki felt the same. So, once you finally gave in to your mutual feelings for each other, things only got more exciting.

Though the two of you had been having sex for weeks, you hadn’t really done anything too spicy yet, still getting used to this new aspect of your relationship. Now, though, you’d decided it would be a good idea to get it all out there, rather than try to figure it out as you went along. Besides, something about the idea of talking things out with Loki like it was nothing more than a casual conversation was thrilling to you.

You and Loki were sitting on the couch, your legs resting in his lap as he absentmindedly soothed circles into one of your calves. You smiled fondly at the way he always had to be touching some part of you. The two of you had covered a few topics already, going over safewords (you were partial to the traffic light system, and Loki agreed) and some of your hard limits, and now you were on to the fun part. Specifically, a rather exciting interest your partner had just confessed to.

“You know,” you mused, unable to keep the teasing smile off your face, “I wouldn’t have expected you to be into submission, what with your whole...thing.”

“My whole thing?” He repeated, raising his eyebrows at your choice of words. You suppressed a laugh. He probably would’ve spent more time on his faux outrage if the look on your face wasn’t so damn cute. “Yes, well. I am full of surprises, aren’t I?”

You hummed in response. “I mean, I had hoped you’d be into it. Or, I guess, fantasized, would be the better w-”

“Did you?” He cut you off, sounding all too pleased.

“Oh, for a while now,” you smirked.

“You’ve been holding out on me,” he said, the admiration in his eyes shifting to smugness as he continued, “I wouldn’t expect you to be a dom, what with your whole thing.”

You made a show of rolling your eyes at him. He wasn’t wrong, though. Compared to Loki, you were much more bubbly and warm, not that he was really so cold anymore, but he was still… him. On top of that, your style tended to lean more toward pastel colors, though lately you were known to also rock some dark green tones. You supposed that from the outside, people would assume you to be the more submissive one in the relationship. Which you definitely could be, but your tastes went both ways.

“Okay, I deserved that,” you relented. “Now come on, tell me what I want to know.”

“Okay, well. I’ve no problem with bondage, as I’m sure you know.”

“You do seem to end up in chains quite often, my love. But... not sexually?” You’d meant for it to be a statement, but then you realized you actually had no idea, your voice lilting up into a question.

He fixed you with a look that very clearly told you you’d been wrong.

Well, okay then. “Right,” you responded, a little breathier than before, trying not to let your imagination run wild just yet. Loki squeezed your ankle playfully, bringing you back before you could lose focus. “So, is there anything you’re not okay with, bondage-wise? Like, collars, ties, cuffs…?” You trailed off.

He thought for a moment. “No, it’s all fine with me. What about you?”

“Cuffs kinda freak me out, actually. I don’t have superhuman strength and all.”

“Noted. Oh, one thing I do want to mention- I’m going to have to ask that you refer to me exclusively as ‘Your Majesty’ when I’m in charge,” he said, expression unwavering.

Your mouth dropped open for a second before you asked, “Wait, seriously?”

He broke into a mischievous grin. “No. But if you’d really like to, I suppose I wouldn’t stop you,” he said the last bit thoughtfully, and you playfully hit his arm with the back of your hand in admonishment. “Ooh, harder,” he said, still with an air of mischief, though you got the sense he wasn’t entirely kidding.

“Loki!” you gasped.

“Alright,” he laughed lightly. “Great God of Mischief will work just as well.”

“I am not calling you that.”

“You’re being so difficult.”

“Will you just tell me what you like to be called already? If you carry on like this, I swear, I will call you Captain.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” he said, glaring at you, and you raised an eyebrow as if to ask, care to test that theory? “Okay, I yield. But, honestly, it depends on the scene. If you’re comfortable with it, I’ll have you call me ‘sir’ most of the time, ‘daddy’ on special occasions. You’re a smart girl. I trust that you’ll know when those occasions come about.”

You just nodded, your mouth suddenly feeling dry. Why were you having such a reaction to Loki calling you a smart girl? He’d definitely noticed.

“What would you like to be called? When you’re the dominant?” Loki asked, saving you from your thought spiral.

“Oh, um. Ma’am is fine. None of the other terms really work for me, I don’t know why, they just seem kind of… too much, I guess,” you over-explained, feeling your cheeks start to heat up.

“Ma’am is just fine?” Loki pressed.

“No, it’s- it’s good. I, um, really like it.” Your cheeks flamed even hotter now, your gaze trained on the couch cushion.

Loki reached out and lifted your chin gently with his thumb and forefinger, making you look at him. “Come now, you were doing so well. Don’t get shy on me now,” he said, voice taking on that deep timbre that made you feel like all the air had been sucked out of the room.

“Okay,” you breathed, your mind gone completely blank as you looked at him.

“Good girl,” he said softly. He didn’t miss the way your body reacted to the praise, a smug smirk plastered on his face.

Bastard. You narrowed your eyes at him, shaking your head slightly to clear it. “That’s not fair,” you countered weakly.

“Isn’t it? I’m just trying to figure out what you like,” he feigned innocence.

“Right,” you said, only a little petulantly, trying to think of what else you wanted to ask him before he’d distracted you. “How do you feel about degradation?” You blurted out. “Receiving, I mean.”

That caught him off guard, to your great enjoyment. “I- I’m not sure. No one’s ever tried it.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “You’ve been tied up but no one’s ever called you names?”

“No,” he responded, frowning slightly. You could practically see the gears turning in his head. “I think I might be okay with it.”

“My honey, you’ve been so deprived,” you said with a pout. It was your turn to have a little fun now. “So,” you started, trailing your fingertips up his forearm, drawing his attention to your touch before you continued. “If, for example, I had you on your knees, and you were being so good for me, and I just happened to call you my obedient little slut-” he inhaled sharply, and you couldn’t help but grin, “-you would, theoretically, be okay with that?” You looked up into his eyes, seeing the flash of desire that had settled there.

“I think that would be acceptable,” he spoke, clearly putting in effort to keep his voice even.

You smiled, pleased with yourself. It was cute that he still tried to seem unaffected when you could literally feel the way his cock had stiffened against you. You shifted the position of your leg in his lap, lightly brushing against him, and he gasped.

“Pathetic,” you chide.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. As much as he may try to seem unimpressed with your teasing, he was certainly susceptible to it. “If you want us to get through the rest of the conversation, you’re going to have to stop that,” he says, but it comes out more like a plea than an order, and he’s sure that you’re going to be the death of him.

You chuckle, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. “Oh, this is gonna be so much fun.”

“It seems I’ve underestimated you, dearest,” he says, tone laced through with affection.

You bring a hand up to cup his cheek, drawing him closer to press a sweet kiss to his lips.

“Well, that’s a mistake we won’t make twice. Isn’t it, love?”

#loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki smut #sub!loki #dom!loki #mcu loki #i had too much fun writing this lmao #it's the switching for me!!!#bisexual switch messes only in this house <3 #my fics #pls interact w this if you liked it i need validation lol

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sagessoftwings · 2 years

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Can I have a haikyuu and demon slayer match up please. This is what I look like

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: bisexual and poly

Personality:I don't talk to people I don't know usually and can seem shy but once I get to know them a can be talkative and a little bit loud. I don't really hate people unless they give me a reason too. I don't get annoyed or mad easily. I make dark jokes sometimes there directed to myself. I try to be supportive of my friends but if I know what they're doing is stupid than one will call them out on it. I'm really into the emo style. I do suffer from anxiety and depression, I also am touch starved. I have anger issues but they usually only get bad if I don't get enough sleep.

Hobbies: reading, drawing, watching anime/tv shows, writing, painting, going on late night drives, and going on walks.

Likes: anime, art, music, nightmare before Christmas, harry potter, the colors black and purple also green alot, scented things, candles, Halloween, fall weather, animals, and fuzzy blankets.

Dislikes: spiders, super hot weather, liar's, blend food, and people who can't clean up after themselves.

Thank you!!

Hi Hi of course!!

Warnings: sexual content, cursing, and fluff <3

A/n: matchups,fics,headcanons,thirsts and scenarios are all open so don’t be shy!! If you have questions about the rules, just shoot me a message!! The fandom I write for are also pinned so go give that a look!! Love you all - Sage

For Demon Slayer I ship you with: Mitsuri Kanroji!!

Demon Slayer: Mitsuri Kanroji

Literally the sweetest thing on earth

Mitsuri will let you take your time opening up when you first meet

She typically would always start the conversations with you and try to get a better understanding of you and what you like

Over time you open up with her and AHHHH she’s so happy like finally! You chose her :’)

Misturi cares deeply about all of her friends and it’s no different with you , in fact half of the times it’s the two of you getting onto everybody else in the hashira group for being so reckless

Mitsuri always makes sure you feel comfortable, especially if you're around people you don’t know so well. Misturi is a social butterfly but makes sure you don’t feel left out.

She ALWAYS makes sure you know that she couldn’t care one bit if you get loud, often others tell her to quiet down and it makes her sad so she wouldn’t want you to feel that way

In a modern AU, mitsuri would love to watch movies with you and is a die hard Harry Potter fan no doubt

She’ll even get those Harry Potter themed snacks at the store and invite you over for a marathon with blanket robes for each of your houses

Mitsuri fucking goes crazy for candles, like you’ll have to call her and remind her to blow them out

She will drag you to Bath and Body Works every time there’s a sale

Mitsuri also likes to make you seasonal packages for each holiday/season

She’ll always get you cozy themed socks for each holiday too, even the minor ones that make no sense to you

You’ll never catch Mitsuri slacking, her place is typically always clean especially if you’re coming and will never make a mess at yours because she’d be upset if someone did that to her.

On sunday I can totally see Mitsuri inviting you over to read and just snuggle under a warm fuzzy blanket

-Smutty Smut-

Mitsuri treats you so so well in bed I’m jealous

Major switch but can be a pillow princess

She has a thing for thighs and boobas, she loves boobies :0

A strap on queen, if you want her to top… bestie, queen will toss up those insides

All of her toys are typically pink and have glitter but she has specific ones for seasons too don't worry

If it’s around halloween she has a cute witch outfit she likes to wear while she goes down on you

Likes to paint her nails so her fingers look extra pretty in you

Mitsuri is not afraid to send titty pics or videos during the day so keep those to yourself

Her aftercare is phenomenon, she’ll run you a bath with your choice of bath bomb, a facemask, bath salts, candles, Lofi the whole 10 yards

She also has an outfit for valentines which is her personal favorite

Mitsuri does have a pretty kinky side but makes sure you’re comfortable with what she’s into before starting anything

Shes workin hard, workin hard to please you

For Haikyuu I ship you with: Kejji Akaashi!!

Akaashi is the same way, being pretty quiet around new people or someone he doesn't know all too well but when he told Bokuto he thought you were pretty Bo took it into his own hands to introduce you two

Once you started talking though you two found that you had a lot in common

Akaashi loves to have you over on rainy days so you two can read together and just embrace each other

Akaashi is like.. mediocre at drawing, like it's not good but not bad either? He mostly does it to please you but he’s really good at like simple digital art

Akaashi loves the days when you two just laiz about and he plays with your hair while the two of you watch Harry Potter

If you ask nicely, he’ll make you a homemade butterbeer

Akaashi, being friends with Bokuto, personally likes it when you get loud. It lets him know you’re comfortable around him and happy

He has a habit of just staring at you and your lips when you talk because how could he not?

If you ask him if somethings wrong when he stares he’ll just go “You’re pretty”

You and Akaashi are constantly keeping Bokuto in check, especially now since he plays for a professional team

Akaashi loves to take you out on walks and maybe even go to a park, this man also loves planing picnics for you

Akaashi likes to surprise you around halloween with decorations and movie nights

He might even get you two fun pj sets

Akaashi is constantly making sure your apartment is clean not just for your sake but his as well

He also will never hesitate to help you out when there is a bug you need removed. Even if he has to drive from his place to yours, he’ll be there

He has a set bedtime for you so you don’t get angy in the mornings, but if you don’t he tries his best to soothe you and help in any way he can

-Smutty Smut -

Akaashi is definitely a giver in bed, he couldn’t care less about himself but aims to please you

He always makes sure your nice and loud for him, your soft breathy moans are what get this man going

This mans can really use his fingers i’ll tell you what, he loves to press his hand to your tummy to hold you still while his digits plunge into your spongy walls

HE CAN AND WILL KISS YOU EVERYWHERE has to make sure you know he loves every bit of you

Pls for the love of god sit on this mans face, he’ll be to shy to ask

He ADORES when you ride him and he can paw away at your thighs and ass while he stares into those beautiful eyes

He loves to kiss your neck continuously, even if he’s down bad in the grocery store, mans will come up behind you and snake his arms around your waist and place open mouthed kisses on your neck and ears with a soft “Let’s go home, yeah?”

AMAZING AFTER CARE, makes sure you’re clean, have water, and pee before he tucks you all nice under his arm (doesn’t want you to get a uti, just to be safe)

If you two go on late night drives and he gets horny for some reason, he’ll start off with a hand on your thigh and if you’re okay with it finger you on the way home <3

Always and I mean ALWAYS says he loves you with a smooch before you drift off

#demon slayer mitsuri #mitsuri x reader #mitsuri smut #mitsuri kanjiro #mitsuri kanroji #Mitsuri x reader fluff #akaashi x reader smut #akaashi keji x reader #akaashi hcs #haikyuu akaashi #haikyuu x reader #demon slayer x reader

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nctsjiho · 3 years

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Relationship with: NCT 127

Click here for: NCT 127, NCT U, NCT Dream, WayV

Taeyong:

Original contender of getting JiHo’s current room, but gave it up because she has a lot of stuff and spends more time in the dorm than he does

Is such a dad

Doesn’t show much affection towards her and vice versa, but there’s this mutual respect towards each other

Not the first person JiHo goes to when she has something on her mind, but she knows she can trust Taeyong with her heavy problems

They used to look super awkward around each other, but now they are the type of friends that can just sit in silence together doing their own thing and it not feel awkward at all

Very wholesome interactions

For example, Taeyong once lost a bet during one of their NCT Daily videos and had to clean up at the end. JiHo stayed behind and helped him clean up while talking about how fun the video shoot was. It looked so natural and NCTzens were so happy to see them together like that

Taeil:

Another dad

The person JiHo goes to for validation when singing

Either he or Doyoung is there when JiHo has to record a singing part for a new song (honestly she’s an amazing singer but is just really afraid to sing because of some past trauma ㅠㅠ )

Just like Taeyong doesn’t have many interactions with JiHo on camera, but together with the hyung line he is definitely a stable support system for her

JiHo is a sucker for great vocalists and there may or may not be a video of JiHo wide-eyed and with a dropped jaw listening to Taeil sing

Gets flustered a lot because of JiHo

She never misses a beat when getting the chance to praise his singing or volunteering him as a tribute to sing during a variety show

Calls JiHo his cute dongsaeng that doesn’t tease him too often

Johnny:

Brings out the chaos in JiHo, but in respectful amounts

JiHo is extraverted but quiet, so he tries to bring out her social side

The one that tries to get her to talk during variety shows to give her more screentime

Thinks she’s cute but would never say it out loud

Have a kind of brother-sister relationship

JiHo talks a lot to him in English

Takes her to excercise a lot

When he started boxing more and she tagged along once, he really enjoyed it

But then she started going more often and sometimes alone, and now the members blame him for taking her in the first place because they are worried she might get hurt

Doyoung:

Loves that JiHo doesn’t tease him too much

It’s a nice change from his other dongsaengs ahmm... Heachan *cough*

Contrary to popular belief are actually very close

Doyoung spent a lot of time with JiHo before his debut, and when he found out JiHo was going to be part of NCT he started learning her their choreos or helped her with singing

One of her “singing coaches”

More like moral support than anything, because she is a good singer he only needs to tell her she’s doing great

They can get quite sassy with each other

When Haechan comes to annoy him, JiHo dips and it breaks his heart every time

“I don’t wanna become another one of Haechan’s victims, you’re on your own Love”

Puts a lot of trust in JiHo and is against babying her too much, because he knows she’s a very strong person and doesn’t need it

Yuta:

When he found out JiHo spoke Japanese he was excited

When he found out JiHo was half-Japanese he was even more excited

Now they almost only converse in Japanese

He’s very protective of her

Is even careful with having the members around when JiHo is feeling down

The first to find out when small things are bothering her, bigger things she usually keeps to herself until someone notices and pries it out of her

Loves her publicly

JiHo is like a small puppy that he needs to take care of

He will cling on to her whenever he can even against the managers protests who want to avoid controversies a.k.a. dating rumours

Loves Yuta as well and often wants to partner up with him in games

Actually, she always wants to, but for the sake of keeping things fun they change every so often

Jaehyun:

Got sad when he wasn’t part of the ‘Guys who are really pretty/beautiful’

JiHo is a bro

“Yo bro!!!” “My man!” “Wassup dude!”

When they hang out JiHo becomes a whole bruh girl and the fans love it

International NCTzens want Jaehyun to talk English more and JiHo is the reason he does

People call them brothers a lot

He’s more clingy and “cutesy” with the male members than with her XD

She feels sooooo comfortable with Jaehyun to a problematic extent

SM even had to tell her to act a little more lady-like after hanging out with Jaehyun for a few weeks over Chuseok

JiHo doesn’t like watching TV that much, but Jaehyun always seem to pick out the good series and that’s why he’s the only one that gets to watch Netflix with her

Best bros <3

Winwin:

She melts~~

Has a soft spot for Winwin (like everyone else does) but isn’t overly affectionate and he appreciates that

Was awkward with JiHo for a while, but then she started learning Chinese. He noticed how much effort she put in to become accepted in NCT as the only girl. Now he doesn’t feel awkward anymore

He looks up to her because she’s so hardworking

Share a lot of cute fan favourite moments, usually where they are in the background of videos or vlives laughing together

They spent a lot of time practising dances together and said he’d like to dance together with her for an NCT Dance video

Jungwoo:

Loves the girl

It’s mutual

She gets really embarrassed around him though because he teases her and makes fun of her a lot, but he never crosses a line

Is part of the ‘Guys who are really pretty/beautiful’ group alongside Renjun, Jaemin, and Doyoung

Really proud of that and makes fun of Jaehyun (and the other guys) for not getting chosen

JiHo said she fell in love with Jungwoo when he dressed up as a girl during the 2018 Halloween video (this made people believe that JiHo was actually lesbian or bisexual, but in this house, we do not assume gender or sexuality since JiHo has yet to speak up about it)

“Jungwoo’s visuals are... wow...”

JiHo is one of the only people that can make Jungwoo blush and she doesn’t even try!

He said JiHo’s just a cute person outside what people usually see from her

Mark:

Little-big brother

JiHo makes him laugh almost as much as Haechan or Johnny do

Helps her with rapping and is the person JiHo reaches out to when she wants validation with her rapping

Spent a whole night with her in the studio after she had a mental breakdown when she kept messing up and the producer told her to come back the next day

They never talk about it and no one else knows (that’s what they thought but Taeil and Doyoung do know. Of course they respect JiHo’s privacy and never bring it up) but he’s always there for her before or during she records her rap part when he knows she’s nervous or stressed out

“Dude!”

“DUDE!”

If Jaehyun is JiHo’s bro, then Mark is her dude shut up I don’t make the rules

They talk in English a lot as well, JiHo actually helps him out with his Korean at times

Haechan:

TEASE

The biggest piece of sh-

But we’ve been knew

Thinks JiHo is a great singer but never says anything, because he will not show her his soft side for her

Knows JiHo isn’t the best reader and while he usually makes fun when the other members mess up when they read, he’ll never make fun or laugh at JiHo

The first and only time he’d done so, he saw how her smile faded and it broke his heart so he never did it again

Instead, he’ll volunteer to read instead of JiHo whenever possible and she appreciates it a lot

Doesn’t believe that JiHo is technically younger than him

Believes in treating everyone equally, so if he didn’t tease or annoy her enough during practice, promotions, or video shoots he’ll annoy her at the dorms

Barges in her room whenever he wants to and after an hour of annoying her or “ruining” her Vlive, he will just sit on her bed and play on her switch or his phone for a few hours

#jiho.guide #nct 24th member #nct female member #nct addition #nct extra member #nct additional member #nct imagines #nct reactions #kpop!addition #kpop!oc #kpop reactions #kpop imagines

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romeomahbromeo · 3 years

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guys i’m back on my bullshit

thoughts on rewatching the les mis movie

⁃ wow they really messed up the musical timeline

⁃ stop changing the fUCKING LYRICS

⁃ jackman is... ok, but still. valjean ought to be DILFier. buff, with white hair

⁃ javert looks like a beauxbatons reject. where’s the ponytail. where’s the sideburns. this isn’t a wolf, this is a guy who read warrior cats once and now identifies with one of them (idk i haven’t read the books since elementary school)

⁃ the seggsual tenshun between a bastard police officer, his club, and the criminal he’s hunted for 14 years with single-minded homoerotic precision...

(more below the cut duh)

⁃ anne hathaway really is a fantastic fantine, good for her

⁃ got to admit, i’m not a fan of the shaky camera, except for in the riot scenes

⁃ love the aesthetics in this movie, feel less so about the costumes

⁃ ah yes we will have fantine be the only one in pink and with her hair down to signify that she is Innocent ™️

⁃ i’ve always thought this but why didn’t fantine just say that she was a widow like it’s not like anyone could prove it

⁃ i feel like switching Lovely Ladies and I Dreamed A Dream made it more powerful but i still prefer the original order

⁃ like i said, timeline is fuckt

⁃ also some of these accents are just. hard to listen to

⁃ i wish we had a movie of the original french musical

⁃ okay i love the shot of little cosette where they recreate the original poster they did a great job at casting her

⁃ sacha and helena are great but i’m still partial to matt lucas tbh

⁃ hello baby gavroche

⁃ the santa part was not needed, it was uncomfortable for everyone involved

⁃ ok that one guy madame tried to seduce in her verse of Master Of The House is pretty damn attractive

⁃ can you imagine the actress of little eponine on set while they filmed that number

⁃ sHoW mE wHeRe yOu LiVe

⁃ “i’ll be father and mother to you” wow #girlboss AND malewife <3

⁃ no stop idc about an original song give me Grantaire’s verse in Drink With Me

⁃ ah yes #hoistthechild

⁃ glad they brought fauchelevant in, he shoulda been in the musical (besides ya know, the cart)

⁃ heehoo javert singing in a high place no foreshadowing there Oops I Hope I Don’t Fall

⁃ the transition into Paris/Look Down is great but fuckin. STOP MOVING SONGS AROUND. I NEED CHEEKY LITTLE SHIT GAVROCHE TO MAKE FUN OF JAVERT AFTER HIS BIG SERIOUS SONG. IDC IF IT MAKES MORE THEMATIC SENSE. I REALLY DON’T.

⁃ still love gav’s elephant home. and gav.

⁃ god i fuckin love gavroche.

⁃ VIVE LA FRANCE

⁃ FUCK YEAH COURFEY-PIGGYBAC

⁃ *pauses* *deep breath* *screeches* ITS MAH BOIZ

⁃ enjolras is the only blond i’ll ever find attractive

⁃ god samantha barks is just SO pretty. and SUCH a good eponine omfg she’s almost TOO pretty

⁃ joly my bby 🥺

⁃ why they got rid of enj’s classic vest idk

�� still mad they made it seem like marius and enjolras were actively friends are you kidding me

⁃ okay but the waterfall chords when marius and cosette make eye contact for the first time 🥺😭

⁃ why does parnasse look Like That 😬

⁃ WHY DOES JAVERT PICK GAVROCHE UP LIKE THAT BAHAHA I FORGOT GHAT HAPPENS

⁃ the thenardiers are supposed to be funny but they just make me so uncomfortable

⁃ why on earth cant i remember pontmercy’s actors name holy shit its not evan, right?? anyways he’s good but i prefer gareth gates personally </3

⁃ OOH THEM FUNKY LITTLE HORNS ITS REVOLUTION TIME

⁃ heLLOOOOO PRETTYBOY (grantaire, obvs)

⁃ literally how dare george blagden be so pretty

⁃ george, internally: “STARE AT AARON. GAY. ACT LIKE YOU’RE IN LOVE BUT NOT IN A WAY THAT HE’LL NOTICE. YOU ARE A 19TH CENTURY BISEXUAL. KEEP IT CHILL, JUST CONTINUALLY GLANCE OVER WITH ABSOLUTE ADORATION IN YOUR EXPRESSION.”

⁃ goddammit marius you slut

⁃ *insert mean girls quote here*

⁃ literally the amount of eyefucking in this scene... get a room. whether you argue or fuck, grantaire will be satisfied either way

⁃ i love the courf+gav friendship in the film but you know i’m a slut for that grantaire+gav friendship in the musical

⁃ a travesty they don’t ever let lesgles be bald </3

⁃ listen. i love amanda seyfried. what a queen. but as cosette she sounds like she swallowed a vibrator. we don’t need that much vibrato girl, it’s okay

⁃ tbh the same goes for a lot of the movie actors in this as opposed to the musical actors

⁃ i’m so sorry but i’m skipping the marisette garden shit i don’t have time for heterosexual bs right now

⁃ i fuckin adore samantha barks did i mention that already

⁃ a queen. you know all the girls in 2012 wanted to be her

⁃ jesus christ it’s been almost 10 years do you think they’ll do a reunion concert

⁃ god i can’t stop thinking about all the behind the scenes from this movie

⁃ hell yes there’s one day more

⁃ cosette “your neighbor is gnc af” marius “you’re insane”

⁃ yes queen bind those breasts. give me gender envy why don’t you

⁃ mmmm enjolras tastey

⁃ stop making javert this important figure he’s just A Guy

⁃ and in that moment, i swear, we all wanted to be Madame Houcheloup

⁃ the flags waved throughout the streets 😀 this will def end well

⁃ tbh i kinda like Do You Hear The People Sing as the start of the revolution

⁃ in 8th grade i would have this scene as a youtube video on repeat while i did my homework

⁃ ok yeah this will never not move me to pieces

⁃ fuckign yeah enj wave that flag

⁃ ooh yuh get it i guess grantaire, drive that coach

⁃ and in that moment, i swear, we were infinite

⁃ pontmercy: *doesn’t know how to hold a gun* also pontmercy: *steals a fuckin horse*

⁃ TO THE BARRICADES

⁃ gEt oFf yOuR aRsE iTs bEgUn yeah mate i was already there driving the fuckin coach i’m just that fast mynameisbarryallenandimthefastestmanalive—

⁃ ah yes the demonic pontmercy smile how i’ve missed that

⁃ WE NEED AS MOCH FORNITURE AS YEW CAN THRO DOWN

⁃ i sincerely wish i could have been there

⁃ HELL YEAH BARRICOW

⁃ AND IN THAT MOMENT, I SWEAR WE ALL WISH WE WERE MADAME HOUCHELOUP

⁃ okay so if gavroche was there to say “fleas will bite” then why didn’t he recognize.l javert right then and there

⁃ GOD THE FIRST SIGHT OF THE BARRICADE 😩👌

⁃ yes daddy enj you can shoot me with your rifle any time 😏🤤😽

⁃ enjoltaire shippers in 2012: “oMg eNjY pRoTeCtEd R fRoM jAvErT tHaT mEaNs he LoVeS HiM bACk 😍😍”

⁃ and they were absolutely right

⁃ no joke aaron tveit could beat me with a pipe and i would be grateful

⁃ “who’s there?” “french revolution!” plz tell me that wasn’t pulled directly for the brick but i feel in my heart of hearts that it was

⁃ the assthetics 😫🤌 the simbalism....

⁃ marius really is dense not only did he not notice the girl in love with him for literally uhhhh years? he also didn’t notice the fuckin rifle two inches from his face

⁃ the lines shouted at marius as he retreats from the gunpowder gambit... initially poetic cinema

⁃ no but boyponine is so gender

⁃ oh man little fall of rain

⁃ i wrote a songfic to this for miraculous ladybug back in freshman year 💀

⁃ oh to be cradled in the arms of the boy i love as i die and also look super hot as i do it

⁃ eponine deserved better but better is not marius

⁃ lol drowned rat enjolras sheds a single manly tear you can’t fool us you fuckin twink

⁃ dammit gavroche hasn’t even died yet but still. get him AWAY from that BARRICADE

⁃ i already know the final battle is gonna end me

⁃ (just like it ended les amis 🤪)

⁃ oh to have a pistol held to my head by george blagden as grantaire

⁃ he really is so pretty

⁃ lol you know valjean’s internal monologue the SECOND he spotted javert at the barricade was just. so much cursing

⁃ lmao enjolras grinning as he shoots the roof dude

⁃ who gave the child a gun dammit

⁃ russell crowe javert singing usually: 😬😐

⁃ russell crowe javert singing while tied up at the barricade with a knife held to him by his long time nemesis: 🥴🤭

⁃ *cries in Drink With Me*

⁃ these boys want to hold out hope but they know there’s no getting out of here

⁃ Where Are The Barricade Ladies

⁃ WHERE IS GRANTAIRE VERSE FOCK U TOM

⁃ *guiltily skips bring him home*

⁃ you know what i was saying earlier about certain characters singing like they have a vibrate stuck in their throat? yeah

⁃ ah that shot that pans out to show that they’re all alone

⁃ gavroche singing won’t save you from dying i fwu tho 🥺

⁃ my little brother loves singing and acting out this song complete with delicate collapsing at the end

⁃ fucking courfeyrac, always gotta make me cry over gavroche more than i mean to

⁃ i have beef with everyone involved

⁃ HADLEY

⁃ combeferre holding back and then comforting courfeyrac 😭😭😭

⁃ let others rise to take our place until the earth is free. god damn. i fuck with that quote too hard.

⁃ CANNONS *queue that one post about the tumblr re-enacting les mis and nearly killing the window cleaner guy when she dramatically opened the windows to scream cannons*

⁃ And In That Moment They Knew. They Were Fucked.

⁃ i don’t need to see any more of my boys die explicitly but i wish we could have had prouvaire’s death scene from the brick, it was really powerful

⁃ THERES MORE MEN

⁃ let them in you HEARTLESS BASTSRDS

⁃ i could do with less time looking at pontmercy’s arse and more time watching the carnage, thanks

⁃ FEUILLY BOSSUET NO

⁃ oh god oh fuck the final four

⁃ *remembers that post i saw where people calculated how long it would have taken for them to die based on bullet angles and that joly and combeferre were both medical and had to watch each other and courfeyrac die and not be able to do anything about it *

⁃ oh god oh fuck permets-tu

⁃ if there’s one instance they could have kept the line from the book it ought to have been this one

⁃ *remembers the post that says that grantaire was not only staggering of drunkenness, but also because he was tripping over the corpses of his friends*

⁃ *remembers hadley is the guard*

⁃ god fukcign. fuck. that orchestral rendition of red & black as exr martyr theirselves for a doomed cause.

⁃ their deaths in the book are so poetic— enj pinned to the wall, crucified by the 8 bullets representing les amis and the cause being worth dying for, while grantaire died at his feet with one bullet representing that enjolras is worth dying for— but something about enjolras dangling out the window, wrapped in the flag... damn

⁃ did you see them, lying side by side...

⁃ *vivid flashbacks to behind the scenes and them singing a jazzy version of On My Own*

⁃ ok that’s enough for now *skips to finale*

⁃ like i love turning and empty chairs but i don’t have the emotional capacity for that rn

⁃ HERE. COMES THE HEAVENLY BARRICADE

⁃ nope i can’t

⁃ i love it too much

⁃ this is the version of DYHTPS that i listened to on repeat during Homework Time for the first several months of quarantine last year

⁃ i have too many feelings about it to put into text

⁃ goddamn i love this show fuck

⁃ *cries*

#les mis #les miserables #les mis content on MY blog? in 2021? it’s more likely than you’d think #uhhhh #enjoltaire

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thebooksaidthat · 4 years

Text

5 Fantasy Book Recommendations with WLW relationships!

Here are five of my favorite books which have FF centered pairings! Thought I would share them so you guys can expand your TBR’s with some sapphic goodness :) They’re not arranged in any particular order because they’re all equally enjoyable for me. I hope this post might help you in any way and I might do another one but for contemporary reads instead soon so stay tuned

1. Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon Link to book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29774026-the-priory-of-the-orange-tree

Synopsis:

The House of Berethnet has ruled Inys for a thousand years. Still unwed, Queen Sabran the Ninth must conceive a daughter to protect her realm from destruction—but assassins are getting closer to her door. Ead Duryan is an outsider at court. Though she has risen to the position of lady-in-waiting, she is loyal to a hidden society of mages. Ead keeps a watchful eye on Sabran, secretly protecting her with forbidden magic. Across the dark sea, Tané has trained all her life to be a dragonrider, but is forced to make a choice that could see her life unravel. Meanwhile, the divided East and West refuse to parley, and forces of chaos are rising from their sleep.

--> The book is written in multiple perspectives, switching between Ead, Tane and Niclays. I found the story extremely engrossing and the FF couple was just a really nice added bonus! Seriously though, Ead and Sabran’s relationship was fairly slow burn but extremely rewarding to read. Would recommend this wholeheartedly to those who enjoy fantasy and dragons. Did I mention DRAGONS?

2. Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan Link to book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34433755-girls-of-paper-and-fire

Synopsis: Each year, eight beautiful girls are chosen as Paper Girls to serve the king. It's the highest honor they could hope for...and the most demeaning. This year, there's a ninth. And instead of paper, she's made of fire. In this richly developed fantasy, Lei is a member of the Paper caste, the lowest and most persecuted class of people in Ikhara. She lives in a remote village with her father, where the decade-old trauma of watching her mother snatched by royal guards for an unknown fate still haunts her. Now, the guards are back and this time it's Lei they're after -- the girl with the golden eyes whose rumored beauty has piqued the king's interest. Over weeks of training in the opulent but oppressive palace, Lei and eight other girls learns the skills and charm that befit a king's consort. There, she does the unthinkable -- she falls in love. Her forbidden romance becomes enmeshed with an explosive plot that threatens her world's entire way of life. Lei, still the wide-eyed country girl at heart, must decide how far she's willing to go for justice and revenge. --> Girls of Paper and Fire is a great example of how YA fantasy books should be. The story felt original and the diversity is great too. The characters here are interesting to read about and this was again, another book which I wanted to read on and on just to know what was going to happen. Lei, a girl who like several others were chosen to become the King’s personal concubines. Yes, there are certain parts that might be uncomfortable to read about (rape, sexual assault, abuse) but I think the topic was mostly handled well by the author. It was really nice to read about how the two unlikely concubines of the King slowly find themselves attracted to each other and how their relationship develops with the main plot. The third book from the series will be released on 2021 and I can’t wait to see how the author ties everything up! 3. Breaking Legacies by Zoe Reed Link to book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30242712-breaking-legacies

Synopsis: In a land impoverished by a war that started before she was born, Kiena has provided for her mother and brother by becoming one of the best hunters in the kingdom. But when a lifelong friend with connections recommends her to the king to track down a runaway princess, her life gets turned upside down. Finding the princess is easy. Deciding what to do in a conflicting mess of politics and emotions… not so much. --> Now, I know the synopsis does not do a whole lot of justice for the book but trust me, this is one that you want to read. Without going into much details, this was a very fun adventure-ish read where you follow Kiena, the main character of the book, who is asked to look for the princess of the kingdom who ran off to god-knows-where. From blue orbs to finding long lost friends of her father to falling in love with the princess, there’s something that’s always holding your attention. 4. Crier’s War by Nina Varela Link to book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41951626-crier-s-war

Synopsis: Impossible love between two girls —one human, one Made. A love that could birth a revolution. After the War of Kinds ravaged the kingdom of Rabu, the Automae, Designed to be the playthings of royals, took over the estates of their owners and bent the human race to their will. Now, Ayla, a human servant rising the ranks at the House of the Sovereign, dreams of avenging the death of her family… by killing the Sovereign’s daughter, Lady Crier. Crier, who was Made to be beautiful, to be flawless. And to take over the work of her father. Crier had been preparing to do just that—to inherit her father’s rule over the land. But that was before she was betrothed to Scyre Kinok, who seems to have a thousand secrets. That was before she discovered her father isn’t as benevolent as she thought. That was before she met Ayla. Set in a richly-imagined fantasy world, Nina Varela’s debut novel is a sweepingly romantic tale of love, loss and revenge, that challenges what it really means to be human. --> A stunning fantasy//science-fiction debut which hooked me from the start. The romance aspect was done well but I enjoyed the world building that the author did with this and I found myself curious about how the system worked. This is basically an enemies-to-lovers trope type of romance which progressed nicely although it’s not completely resolved as it ended in quite a cliff hanger, though the next book will be releasing on September! 5. Girl, Serpent, Thorn by Melissa Bashardoust Link to book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/51182650-girl-serpent-thorn

Synopsis: There was and there was not, as all stories begin, a princess cursed to be poisonous to the touch. But for Soraya, who has lived her life hidden away, apart from her family, safe only in her gardens, it’s not just a story. As the day of her twin brother’s wedding approaches, Soraya must decide if she’s willing to step outside of the shadows for the first time. Below in the dungeon is a demon who holds knowledge that she craves, the answer to her freedom. And above is a young man who isn’t afraid of her, whose eyes linger not with fear, but with an understanding of who she is beneath the poison. Soraya thought she knew her place in the world, but when her choices lead to consequences she never imagined, she begins to question who she is and who she is becoming...human or demon. Princess or monster. --> Another enemies-to-lovers fantasy to sooth your gay heart! Here’s a fairy-tale like YA which has a bisexual, person of colour protagonist! In short words, it’s about how a girl who is cursed causing her to be unable to touch anyone without killing them and her journey to saving her brother and ultimately, finding herself.

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katewaliss · 3 years

Text

! write with me or fight with me!

you either die by my sword or the most painful head canons imaginable! *merida vc* choose yer fate

just kidding!

hey there gaymers, i am crissy! i am 22, live in pst, go by she/her pronouns and honestly would very much like a distraction from life -- preferably in the form of 1x1 and rp in general. i am currently doing online school plus trying/failing at adulting, being a crazy pink haired college student living on microwave dimsum with my crazy fluffy demon cat, but that still leaves me with a lot of time and what better way to spend that time then crying and dying, am i right, boys?

so without further ado ( adieu? idk gusundheit ) here are a list of discomboblulated plot things that have been floating around in my head that i might be fun to do ( plot fragments, ideas, ocs, fcs i like, settings, genres etc )! i’d prefer a message if u liked any of these in the inbox or dm form, my tumblr ims are open and my discord user is mr. worldwide#2918 ( pitbull supremacy ) but if ur shy i will message u and be annoying!

lastly: i prefer hcing in the dms to replies, however i will do replies/ask memes slowly, i don’t really like making blogs and prefer google docs/discord and i ask ( gently and respectfully ) that minors do not interact.

thank u and happy hunger games! xx

COLLEGE TOTALLY SPIES -- i was really obsessed with this picture right here and i thought that the picture would be a good premise for a little four person group based on totally spies. i was thinking that these three college students/young adults some friends maybe not some enemies or just on completely different ends of the social agenda get bonded together when they accidentally end up roped in a top secret spy organization that is fronted by a record store. the details and flesh of the plot i think would be cute to figure out all together maybe in a google doc or a big discord so we can make the rp to perfect world building specifications. right now i have two spots open!

my friend lexi over at comradc has taken the cool goth asian girl and is using lyrica okano

i am playing the freckly backwards hat lesbian in the red polo named aj mccallis and i think im using diana silvers ( not sure might switch to tati rodriguez )

we also have the cute blond girl w the dyed hair who is giving me kind of like sydney sweeney energies, blonde girl maybe like lalisa manoban/jinsoul,

and we have the rad black girl with the bandids who i would only accept black fcs for for such as diamond white, ryan destiny, salem mitchell,

i’d prefer if this stayed kind of sapphic and female and enby friendly. we can def make make npcs and characters but i’d prefer if the characters looked like they do in the picture ( minus the white girls who can be racebent as long as there are vibes ) mostly bc i want the poc people to stay the correct poc! but yeah! if u like this message me specifically!!!!! seperately and hit me w a role ud like maybe an fc an idea anything < 3 im working on a google doc and discord sever

- i really want to play a himbo skater boy evan mock like its my dream i know nothing abt him other than he probably goes by something like mouth or juice or tris or dex or dante but !!!! he has buzzed hair he buzzes designs into, does stick n pokes, hates cops, will kiss anyone, likes to mosh at house shows, smokes a lot and sounds like crush from finding nemo, probably ur parents worst nightmare if im honest rodrick heffley energy -- adopt him for any plot

- i also really am obsessed with simay barlas who is my mascot rn -- i want to play her in some sort of dark academia setting with like gossip girl blair waldorf energies lu from elite and have her be really mean and cold and pretentious and play the cello and probably have secrets and be uptight idk the name mallory is resonating hard w me ( we could even do a gossip girl the secret history type group if people liked that )

-ok i also really really want to play streak aka silas montgomery who is like very like sidekick best friend to the golden boy main character, does a kick ass goat impression, class clown, relentlessly hits on like the most difficult person in school, does crazy things for laughs and attention, just wants to make people happy, only wears hawaiian shirts, finger guns, is going nowhere in life, his dad is probably the dean at whatever prestigious school also he is very very depressed and drinks often! love u! a I Feel Like Im The Worst So I Always Act Like Im The Best electra heart baby PINTEREST

also yes his hair is pink reg verse he did it on a dare but hp verse he did a potion wrong and it never came out

SOMEONE DO A LADY HANNIBAL WILL GRAHAM RP KILLING EVE RP W ME! i made this will graham adjacent gal for a genderbent hannigram rp her name is bisexual disaster enida johnson and sometimes goes by needy or will bc her middle name is willamena! has basically all the will things wears flannels is a mess but has a bunch of cats instead of dogs in her woods log cabin and im using crystal reed bc it fits perfect in my head idk if u like her hmu hit me w a lady hannibal PINTEREST

other stuff

ok i really want to do a princess and knight plot but with knight zendaya and princess anya taylor joy ???? ALKHALKSHALK LITERALLY HELLO literally modern or like dnd style i do not care but know i love dnd! we could make it like them goin on some skyrim quests like hi

speaking of dnd and skyrim if anyone wants to do like anything based in dnd stuff or skyrim stuff i am DOWN

jennifers body plot!!!! maybe set in college!!!!! sounds spicy i will do a f/f or m/m version leggo leggo

UNTIL DAWN UNTIL DAWN!!!! i wanted to do a little like 6 person or mumu until dawn thing where everyone either makes new characters or characters based on the existing six! i made a girl adjacent josh character named riley PINTEREST who i love very much ( fc might change im thinking maybe medallion rahimi ) pls hmu if ur down

i looooooove breakfast at tiffanys!!!! like i really love breakfast at tiffanys we love a call girl broody author ship and i want to play a mishti rahman holly golightly type character so so bad

pygmalion plot!!! basically like an author and the main character of their book comes to life and the book character is probably from a different period of time or realm so doesnt know how to do modern 2020 stuff like microwaves and the tv! and then maybe they get sucked into the characters book world thats written by the author and have to navigate that! enchanted! w the kdrama! energy!

GOSSIP GIRL PLOT ENERGIES

any sort of the secret history murder society until dawn ahs horror type setting i am on a kick rn

i still really want a deaf sailor and siren plot bc that is so spicy or even like anything involving sirens like maybe one thats like vegetarian and doesnt like to eat humans so it ariel rescues one and keeps it safe!! or like only men are susceptible to the sirens song but aha! i am a woman! Romance!

anything in the realm of percy jackson i love mythology lets go i kind of want a echo narcisuss plot and i want it to hurt me so bad

i will do harry potter stuff but only if its completely removed from the current canon like years in the future no existing families also maybe beauxbatons salem and drumstrang plots bc thats what matters

iiiiiiiii really like anime so i will do anything kakegurui, soul eater, ohshc

i kind of like grew up on the hunger games so i will gladly take any hunger games plots like young effie and haymitch is spicy or like a career tribute and one of the weaker poorer distracts enemies to lovers leggo

i have a kind of oc that had their parents die in a factory gas leak that was the governments fault and it turned them into a vigilante assasin that is slowly picking off bootlicker government people one by one pretending to be one of them until bam! gets attached to the rich asshole son or daughter of the head hauncho or one of the higher ups ... drama

rich little celebrity fussy wussy being held captive by the mafia and the tired stoic mafia guard but they fall in love

i kind of like any plot that involves one person that is really loud or angry or dramatic or whiny and the other one is kind of sweet and gentle or does not talk much idk make brain happy

speaking of!

no nonsense law student studying abroad in a european country and an artist there falls in love w them and is all romantic and gush and is like ur my muse!!! and they are like Go awAy and they explore the city together and themelseves its nice!

i want to be an avan jogia super villain idk why i need to but i do

not to be a disney adult bc i am not but anastasia princesses dont kiss kitchen boys

rival cheer captians? best friends brother? pop princess celebrity singer and like antiestablishment really angry rockstar in a publicity relationship? broody detective and sunshiney diner person that works at the diner they eat at everyday?

idk i will think of more hmu these can all be made f/f or m/m if they arent

#1x1 #1x1 rp #1x1 roleplay #plots #this is so long and messy and weird idk it repeats a lot hit me up im emabrrassed already

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

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Do you have any good suicidal Sherlock? Or ones where he self harms???

@vg-remy said to inevitably-johnlocked: can we get John left sherlock for Mary after he returns and sherlock grew suicidal

Hey Lovelies! *HUGS*

Remy, I don’t really read many fics within which Sherlock and John don’t end up together, so I can’t recall much in that way. BUT because this fic is looking for Suicidal Sherlock, I’ve decided to attach it to this list.

So, yes, Nonny I absolutely do. I’ve done lists in the past for Self Harm so I’ll link you to those below. I’m going to put both John and Sherlock fics on here, and 95% of these have happy endings, because I can’t do sad stuff too much anymore lately, so I hope that’s okay

SUICIDAL IDEATION

See also:

Self Harm, Danger Nights, and Drugs

Drugs and Drugging Pt 2

Alexx’s Lists:

Suicidal Sherlock

Suicidal John

Suicide Mission Post TAB

Voices by fizzingweaselbee (T, 607 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Mental Turmoil, Suicidal Ideations) – “We would never do that to John Watson.”

Stay by sussexbound (M, 2,067 w., 1 Ch. || Post TAB, Suicidal Ideation Mention, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Kissing, Love Confessions, Frottage, Coming in Pants) – “Why? Why did you do it? Hmm…?” He takes a deep breath, waits, lets it out again. “Look at me.” There’s no denying him when he takes this tone. “Why did you kill him? Hmm…? For her? After…” A muscle twitches in the corner of John’s eye, and he clamps his jaw down tightly, swallows and sniffs a little before continuing. “For her? After everything she’s done?” “For you.” Before he can even stop himself. Just like that.

Pen Pals by WerewolfDoctor (K, 2,797 w., 1 Ch. || Epistolary, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Post-TRF) – Most people don’t become pen pals by one of them writing a not-suicide note. Then again, Sherlock Holmes and John Watson have never exactly been normal, have they?

Too Late by SJBHasADayPass (T, 3,390 w., 2 Ch. || Angst, Suicide, Tragedy, Major Character Death, First Person POV, Unhappy Ending) – Six months after the Fall, John is finding it difficult without Sherlock, and Sherlock is finding it just as painful.

Watching You Die by laureleaf (T, 10,340 w., 11 Ch. || Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Suicide, Switching POVs, Sort-of Rev. Reich., Whump) – John watched Sherlock die three years ago, and Sherlock just watched John die. But neither of them are actually dead. Now an AU, with nods to “The Adventure of the Empty House”. Lots of angst and post-Reichenbach feels. No slash.

There’s So Much Labour Just in Breathing Lately by Susan (E, 12,708 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF / Mentions of S3 Events, Romance, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Grieving John, Mutual Pining, Meddling Mycroft, Therapy, Ambiguous Hopeful Ending, Infidelity) – The dreams he hated most – the ones that left him a sweating, shaking mess when he woke – were the ones in which Sherlock was just Sherlock. Laughing or drinking tea. Sitting across the table from him at Angelo’s eating pasta. Trailing his open hand behind him on the way to the bedroom. “C’mon, John. I’m about to have my way with you.”

Software Malfunction by tiger_in_the_flightdeck (E, 16,679 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Android Sherlock, Love Story, Unhappy Ending, Angst, Suicide, Jealousy) – “You think I can’t love you? Just because you’re made with metal, and detailed programming?” The doctor propped himself on his elbow, and looked down at it. “I am nothing but blood and bone, and tissue. Things just managed get mashed together in a manner that made me like this. Just like you were put together to make you how you are. When I kiss you-” he did so, briefly, to prove his point. Then more deeply, and lingering, because he could. “When I touch you, or smile at you, does it make you feel different from when others have done it in the past?”

Wonderful, Etcetera. by VictoryCandescence (T, 16,955 w., 3 Ch. || Wonderful Life AU || Alternate Timelines, Brotherhood, Homophobia, Suicidal Ideations, Mentions of Drug Use, Friendship, Different TRF, Sherlock’s Past, Victor Trevor is Past Boyfriend, Depression, Hallucination, Love Confessions, Christmas, First Kiss) – Sherlock thinks everyone would be better off if he had never existed, including and especially himself. When he finds himself in a world in which his wish has been granted, he begins to think perhaps even he could be wrong – but it takes an unlikely chaperone to make him not only observe, but understand.

State of Flux by Atiki (E, 24,655 w., 4 Ch. || S3 Fix It, Sherlock POV, Slow Burn, First Kiss/Time, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Cuddles and Snuggles, Awkwardness, Insecure/Virgin Sherlock, Romance, Humour, Masturbation, Love Declarations, Bottomlock, Brief Suicidal Ideations) – John’s marriage is over and he is finally back home (i.e. at Baker Street, where he belongs). Sherlock is awfully insecure and John is awfully hesitant, and they’re both awkward idiots, of course, but they figure it out. Many First Times happen.

A Home for Us by sussexbound (M, 30,581 w., 12 Ch. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Heavy Emotions, Clingy Sherlock, Hallucinations, Disassociation, Emotional Turmoil) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

Turn Left at the Park by Glenmore (NR (E), 37,409 w., 28 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting / ASiP Divergence, Case Fic, Depression, Suicidal Ideation, Loneliness, No Mary, Possessive Sherlock, Fluff & Angst, Nightmares/PTSD, Sherlock Saves John, Sherlock Whump-ish, Doctor John) – So what would have happened if John hadn’t walked through the park and met Stamford?What if, instead, he walked around the park and just went home?

Impossible to Feign by achray (M, 49,204 w., 12 Ch. || TRF Rewrite / Reverse Reichenbach, Suicidal Ideations / Discussions, Drug Use/Abuse, Mutual Pining, Friends With Benefits, John Accepts his Sexuality, Anxious Sherlock, Meddling Mycroft, Depression, Hallucinations, Secret Agent John, BAMF John, Reunion, Make-Up Sex, Ambiguous Ending) – Sherlock leant forward, his long fingers curving round to grip John’s.“I won’t let him win,” he said, eyes hard. “I will do whatever it takes to get you out.”

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because…new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride… prepare for blast off. Part 1 of SpaceBois go to Space

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w., 24 Ch. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn’t have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal, Autistic Sherlock) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

Darkling, I Listen by You_Light_The_Sky (T, 73,254 w., 8 Ch. || Fairy Tale AU || Loosely Based on Beauty and the Beast, Magical Realism, Suicidal Themes, Romance, Creepiness, Adventure) – No one who enters old London ever comes out. They say that the beast devours them. When his sister disappears, John ventures into the dead zone beyond the wall, and finds a brilliant madman under a terrible curse… Part 1 of Darkling I Listen + Extras, Deleted Scenes

Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w., 18 Ch. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he’s a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover’s trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world’s highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Rape/Sexual Assault, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock First Person POV, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Love Making, Possessiveness, Depression, PTSD, Kidnapping, Virgin Sherlock, Eventual Happy Ending) – "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face.” Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU || BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn’t truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes.“ Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

MARKED FOR LATER

Interview by bluebellofbakerstreet (G, 2,791 w., 2 Ch. || Punk AU || Past Drug Use, Past Suicidal Ideation, Implied Mystrade, Punklock / Bandlock, Fanart Included) – What’s better than John Watson and Sherlock Holmes in a punk band? John Watson and Sherlock Holmes on the cover of the Rolling Stone, and giving an interview.

For The Sake Of Being Interesting by SaintClaire (M, 2,797 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, Suicide / Suicidal Ideation, MCD, Angst, Unhappy Ending) – How John Watson coped after the Reichenbach Falls. Hint - it wasn’t positive.

All we do is hide away by AnneCumberbatch (E, 3,895 w., 38 Ch. || Post-TRF, Depressed John, John’s Blog/Epistolary, Paternal Mrs Hudson, Meddling Mycroft, Hospitalization, Mental Breakdown, Reunion, Fainting, Delusions, Pre-Slash, POV First Person John, Suicidal Ideation / Implied Suicide Attempt) – It’s been 35 days since Sherlock threw himself off of Bart’s hospital in front of John’s eyes. 35 days since John threw himself onto the pavement at Sherlock’s side, his knees soaking up the blood from his best friend. 35 days since John’s world shuttered closed and dried up. 35 days.

Because I Love Him by CumberCurlyGirl (M, 3,991 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, Angst, Mutual Pining, Alcohol Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, POV Alternating First Person, Love Confessions, Violin, Happy Ending) – John is lost after Sherlock’s apparent suicide and takes a few items from 221B to comfort himself.

Premeditated by Mazarin221b (E, 4,033 w., 1 Ch. || Suicidal Ideation, Dark Thoughts, Torture, Depression, Captivity, First Kiss) – John and Sherlock are captured, tortured, and imprisoned - and eventually, they realize, there’s only one way out.

So True a Fool by ladyxdarcy (M, 4,963 w., 1 Ch. || Soulmates AU || Post-ASiB/Pre-THoB, Suicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Bisexual John, Internalized Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Sick Sherlock, Fluff and Angst, Angst with Happy Ending, Mild Telepathy, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love) – Every pair of soulmates has one listener and one speaker. It is the listener’s job to find the speaker and embrace their bond. John knew the instant he heard the strange man’s voice that he was his soulmate, but never reveals the truth, resulting in severe consequences. (Based on this prompt)

The Violin of Ruin and Favour Series by PizzaMan (T, 5,923 w. across 4 fics || Post-TRF, Sherlock’s Violin, Angst With Happy Ending, John Plays the Violin, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Depression / Suicidal Mentions) – 3 years after the Fall and Sherlock comes back. During that time, John had learned to play the violin.

The Gun Drawer (Ch10) by CarmillaCarmine (M, 5,985 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, Five Stages of Grief, Suicidal John, Angst, Depression, Grief/Mourning, Introspection) – A dive into John’s chaotic mind as he reminisces on the first 18 months after Sherlock’s fall. Part 10 of the The Memoirs of Dr. John H. Watson series

Waiting To Be Known by soera (R, 7,414 w., 1 Ch., LJ Fic || S2 Fic, Implied Bullying, Implied Suicide/Suicidal Ideation, Minor Character Death, Drug Use, Sexual Violence on a Child) – John Watson has been saving Sherlock’s life for a very long time, even if he doesn’t know it.

A Study in Asexuality by ladyxdarcy (M, 8,082 w., 1 Ch. || Asexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Acephobia, Mentions of Rape/Corrective Rape Therapy, Past Suicidal Ideation, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Overdose, Past Mary/John, Emotional Sherlock, Insecure Sherlock, Vulnerable Sherlock, Est. Rel., Angst with Happy Ending, Fluff) – When Sherlock, asexual to his core, fears that John may grow bored of a sexless life, he decides to do whatever it takes to make John happy so he stays. Good thing John is already happy.

bread and honey by weneedtotalkaboutsherlock (M, 8,814 w., 8 Ch. || Farming AU || Second Person POV Sherlock, Angst, Suicidal Thoughts, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Therapy, Alcohol Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Abuse, Early Retirement, Seizures, Service Dogs, First Kiss/Time, Happy Ending) – The next thing you are sure and aware of is the mix of mud and water seeping through your shoes as the cabbie drops you in front of the old farmhouse. You do not know this, but today marks the first day of spring.

September 20th by HappyJuicyfruit (T, 10,111 w., 1 Ch. || Time Loop, Angst, Drug Use, Suicidal Thoughts, PTSD John, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending) – Sherlock keeps reliving the same day. He isn’t very happy about it.

You Don’t Need Wings to Fly by Laiquilasse (T, 11,326 w., 11 Ch. || Wonderful Life AU || Bullying, Angels, Suicidal Ideation, Christmas) – John, an angel, is sent from Heaven to help a desperate Sherlock Holmes by showing him what life would have been like if he had never existed.

Mental by Boeshane42 (E, 18,128 w., 1 Ch. || Mental Illness, Discussion of Suicide, Drugs) – Sherlock Holmes is a patient in a closed psychiatric ward. John Watson is his new psychiatrist.

Other Side of The Moon by love_in_mind_palace (T, 23,446 w., 7 Ch. || Post-TRF, BAMF John, BAMF Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Suicidal Thoughts, Angst with Happy Ending) – After the fall Sherlock goes away to dismantle Moriarty’s network while living through different identities and hiding. But then something unexpected starts to happen. After a while of everything going according to plan, he’s suddenly just too late everywhere. Because someone was there before him, and took care of everything. It takes him a while. But then he realises. It’s John. Avenging his death.

The House on Rue des Boulangers by Berty (M, 24,299 w., 8 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Developing Relationship, Hiding in Plain Sight, PTSD, Depression, France, Frottage, First Kiss, Bees and Honey, Suicidal Thoughts, Gardens & Gardening, POV John, Angsty Fluff, Implied/Referenced Alcoholism, Falling in Love, Happy Ending) – After being invalided out of the army and without any other prospects, John Watson has relocated to a small town in northern France. Now he has to decide what to do for the rest of his life. One morning there’s a mad stranger in his garden chasing a swarm of bees, and it seems John’s decision is made.

(Life is) A Series of Risks by SkipandDi (ladyflowdi) (E, 36,499 w., 4 Ch. || Alternate Universe || Post-TRF, Kid Fic, Parentlock, Temporary Character Death, Established Relationship, Suicidal Thoughts, Grief, Violence, Psychological Trauma, PTSD) – The work comes first.

White Tulip by withoutawish (E, 40,624 w., 1 Ch. || TSo3, Copper Beeches / Solitary Cyclist Rewrite, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Drug Addiction (Sherlock), Angst, Suicide Attempt, Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, PTSD, Pining, Metaphors, String Theory, Graphic Depictions of Violence) – Sherlock is in love with John Watson. John Watson is in love with Mary Morstan. Sherlock likes Mary Morstan just fine. Sherlock likes drugs more. And most importantly, Sherlock doesn’t like Sherlock. String theory dictates the laws of the universe. But their story isn’t one that can be boxed up neatly, tied in a heartstring bow. "After all, the axioms of homeostasis dictate that an infinity sign of negative feedback can only loop back in on itself.”

Sunday Matinee by hogwartswitch (E, 44,597 w., 12 Ch. || College / Uni 1980′s AU || Fluff and Angst, Movies, Slow Burn, Happy Ending, Mary is Not Nice, Mutual Pining, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Homelessness, Anal/Oral, Fingering, Rimming, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, HIV/AIDS, Mentions of Cancer, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Depression, Epistolary, Love Letters, Suicide Attempt, Blow Jobs, Time Skips) – The year is 1984 and it’s a great time for movies and movie fans. John Watson is a struggling film school student with dreams of being a screenwriter. It’s a dream come true when his friend, Mike, gets him a job reviewing movies for the university paper. Sherlock Holmes is also a film school student with dreams of directing, but he’s also struggling to get his life back on track. The job at Baker Cinema is supposed to help him do just that, but it’s SO BORING. Until, that is, a young movie reviewer buys a ticket to Footloose and Sherlock’s life suddenly becomes very, very complicated.

Focal Point by PuffleLock (E, 60,913 w., 13 Ch. || Post-TRF Divergence / Different Reunion, POV John, Slow Burn, For a Case, Friends to Lovers, Suicidal Thoughts, Sad Wank, Sherlock in Makeup, Dancing, Mentions of Torture / Depression / PTSD, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Scars, Rimming, Anal, Toplock, First Kiss / Time, Gay Sherlock / Bi John) – John comes home early from a medical conference to find that every once in awhile, Sherlock can surprise the hell out of him. Can John surprise him back?

A Change of Heart by SosoHolmesWatson (E, 65,436 w., 20 Ch. || Post-S4 / Canon Compliant, Jealous Sherlock, Past Abuse, Parentlock, Dev. Rel., Idiots in Love, Suicidal Sherlock, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Mollstrade, Coming Out, Love Confessions, Big Brother Mycroft, John’s Childhood, POV Alternating, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Hand Jobs) – After all they have been through, after all the heartbreak and desolation, John and Sherlock want to make their way back to each other, still convinced that friendship is all that can exist between them. Will there be a change of heart? Part 1 of the The Pains of Growing series

The Improbable Match by elle_m and sherlockianworld (E, 67,626 w., 31 Ch. || Child Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Violence, Texting, Mutual Pining, Drug Use/Abuse, Angst With Happy Ending, Major Character Injury, Alcoholism, Withdrawal, Teenlock, Self-Harm, Bullying, Suicidal Ideations, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia) – When Gregory Lestrade decided to play matchmaker, he did not realise that his harmless plan would change the lives of two damaged people forever.

Patterns of Silver Birds by SincerelyChaos (E, 68,872 w., 20 Ch. || Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Synesthesia, Falling in Love, Developing Relationship, First Kiss, Psychotropic Drugs, PTSD, Masturbation, Sexual Fantasy, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, First Time, Autism Spectrum, Internalized Ableism, Tics, Canon-Typical Violence, Suicidal Thoughts, Psychology, Recovery) – In which love could really be considered a chemical defect and aeroplanes are nothing but silver birds.

Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”

Be Here Now by Todesfuge (M, 94,370 w., 25 Ch. || Post-TRF, Hurt/Comfort, Violence, Angst, Action/Adventure, Whump, Suicidal Thoughts, First Time, Depression, Drug Use/Non-Con Drug Use, PTSD, Suicide Attempt, Medical Trauma, Implied Torture) – John Watson was already fighting demons when he and Sherlock met. With Sherlock’s suicide, it all comes flooding back, forcing Sherlock to intervene before he’s solved the persistent riddles of Jim Moriarty and his game. Together they find that something darker lurks behind Moriarty, forcing Sherlock, John, and Irene Adler into an even deadlier game with a much more dangerous foe. Begins six months after the events of The Reichenbach Fall. Part 1 of the Be Here Now Universe

The Paradox Series by wordstrings (M to E, 98,863 w. across 8 Stories || First Kiss / Time, Mental Health Issues, Moral Ambiguity / Dubious Ethics, Angst, Psychopathy, Depression / Suicidal Ideation, Hurt/Comfort, POV First Person, Possessive Behaviour, Homophobia, Sexuality) – In which what’s in Sherlock’s head is never going to get any better, and John is nearly thrown out of his flat.

Will You Take Me Home? by Jobooksandcoffee (E, 114,689 w., 22 Ch. || Post S4, Post Break Up, Angst With Happy Ending, Angst and Feels, Parent-Child Relationship, Therapy, Friends With Benefits, Ex Sex, Messy Idiots, Fights, Mutual Pining, Mutual Jealousy, Slow Burn, Mentions of Drugs/Overdose, Suicidal Ideation) – Inspired by the wondrous "Know You All Over Again” by the brilliant Poppy Alexander, it is story of a painful break up. Two men are looking for ways to cope, to raise their 10 year old girl, to find reasons for going on. They need help of family and friends to make it through. Will each be able to do what the other needs? Will they be able to trust again? Sherlock and John must find themselves and unearth what went wrong, so they can build a new relationship.

Scheherezade by sgam76 (G, 197,576 w., 45 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF/Pre-TSo3, PTSD Sherlock, Implied/Referenced Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Humour, Protective John, Papa Lestrade, Big Brother Mycroft, BAMF John, BAMF Sherlock, Aftermath of Serbia, Past Child Abuse, Childhood Memories, Drunk Sherlock, Canon Compliant, Suicidal Thoughts / Attempt) – Sherlock is home, he and John are returning to cases, and all’s right with the world–right? But a series of minor mishaps and injuries makes two things very clear to his friends and family: first, Sherlock’s time away wasn’t the grand adventure everyone has assumed it was; and second, that time has left Sherlock with a legacy that’s bleeding into his life today. Sherlock is Not Okay, and it’s not going away. Part 1 of the Scheherezade

Conductivity Series by liriodendron (E, 207,367 w. across 7 works || TRF / Post TRF, ReunionCanon Typical Violence, Developing Relationship, Friendship, Romance, Sexual Tension, First Kiss/Time, Synesthesia, Power Dynamics, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Case Fic, Est. Rel., References to Drug Use, Homophobic Language, Religious Content, Intercrural Sex, Unrequited Love, Angst, References to Suicide, Injury, Anal, Dub. Con, BDSM, Suicidal Thoughts, Violent Sex, Suicide, Grief/Mourning, Break Up) – In which Sherlock Holmes locates his heart, John Watson learns what it’s like to burn, and there is no darkness that cannot be made bright.

Define Vulnerabilty by TheGracefulBlueCat (T, 240,606 w. 97 Ch. || Canon Compliant, Aftermath of Torture, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Scars, Sherlock’s Violin, Doctor John, John is a Good Friend, Flashbacks, Case Fic, Sedation, Sherlock is a Mess / Not Okay, Nightmares, Big Brother Mycroft, Asperger’s Sherlock, Fainting, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Triggers, Panic Attacks, Hurt Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Blood and Gore, Drugs / Drug Use, Helpless / Vulnerable Sherlock, Protective John, Painful Repressed Memories, PTSD Sherlock, Medical Procedures, Drugged Lestrade, Lestrade Whump, Drugged Sherlock, Recovery, Crying Sherlock, Dissociation, Forehead Touching) – Shortly after Sherlock’s return John realises something is very wrong with his friend. He, Greg and Mycroft try to help Sherlock as he falls deeper and deeper into the abyss called PTSD. But Sherlock is not ready to allow anyone in, but then the events of the current case cause him to hit bottom hard. Part 8 of the Lessons in Friendship series, Part 1 of the Hiatus series

Radioactive Trees In A Red Forest by Maribor_Petrichor (E, 280,251 w., 73 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-S4, Suicidal Ideations, Alcohol / Rx Drug Abuse, Coming Out / Bisexual John, Seizures, Past/Referenced/Implied Child Abuse, Hallucinations, Rehab, Celibacy, Sobriety / Relapse, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Psychological Trauma, Nice/Not Anti-Mary, John’s POV, Parentlock, First Time, Angst, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending) – John Watson is what happens when a man can no longer see a reason to go on. John Watson is what happens when a man starts to let go. “It is what it is.” John Watson is what happens when what “it is” becomes too much to bear. This is a story of the life, death, and resurrection of John Hamish Watson.

The Men Who Talked Between the Words by Odamaki (E, 463,024 w., 30 Ch. || Parentlock, UST/URT, Pining Sherlock, Grieving John, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, Slow Burn/Build, Case Fic, First Kiss / Time, Implied/Referenced Suicide & Drug Use, Slow Burn, Sherlock Whump, Panic Attacks) – John expected to be a father some day; he expected to have the house, and the wife and the nice suburban job. Sherlock never expected to have children, in part because he never expected to make it past 30. As it turns out, you don’t get a choice. Crammed into Baker Street with a baby, John struggles with single-parenthood and his own fears, while Sherlock treads the fine line between doing too little and saying too much.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #suicidal ideation cw #suicide cw #self harm cw #e-rated fics #depression cw #my fic recs #Anonymous #long post

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wooorm · 3 years

Note

tell us abt the benzen :)c go wild go crazy

Ah,

well it all started when one day, when Benry was a wittle baby child (age 16) walking home and he spots some cute boy about his age, beyblade in hand and lighter in the other. With Benry watching in amazement as the young arsonist lights that bitch on fire and launches that bitch into a trash can lid. truly a sight to behold, and in that moment benry knew he had to meet this guy, like seriously dudes chaotic energy? off the fucking charts,, so they get to talking and eventually become best friends :)

They do normal friend stuff, hanging out, doing dumb shit, holding hands and smooching.. oh.. And they hang out alot, like alot theyre inseparable. Mostly bc Forzen’s home life is absolute dog shit but he has benny to help him through all that,, all while Benry is indirectly helping Forzen figure himself out- he soon figures out why he feels the discomfort he feels about himself and then it hits forzen- hes transgender (he already figured he was bisexual at this point) Benry even offers to cut Forzen’s hair in a way that he sees fit, and then its a double combo for forzen as he figures out that he most definitely has feelings for his very best friend-

Now, forzen fucking around and finding out he trans? good- bad part about that is Forzen’s fam isnt really into the trans idea,, so Forzen starts to hang around benry’s house even more than usual even tho benry’s house is p cramp with family--

pretty soon, the boy’s are 18 and forzen’s dysphoria only grows and his home life gets worse, and the pressure is on- he doesnt have any good career skills that could make a liveable wage (i mean he did barely pass highschool) and the only viable option he thinks he could make it on is going into the military, ofc benry opposes this... alot,, to where they argue about it furiously,, eventually causing a falling out with the two, to where they dont speak to each for a day. This kills the both of them inside but they both have different ways of dealing with the situation,,

benry musters up the courage to actually talk to forzen and work things out before forzen heads off, he quickly makes a break for it to forzens house. knocking on the door only to be greeted by one of forzen’s siblings. Benrys heart drops as the words escape that relatives lips, “he already left bud- sorry” benry can hardly hold back the tears as he leaves his former friends house, sweet voice escaping his mouth. Yellow to black.

Benry never really was the same after that, he seemed less enthusiastic about things he previously enjoyed, even taking that stupid security guard job at that dollar store area 51 knock off,,,

cut to the res cas

Forzen is assigned to go to black mesa,, realizing that this is the same facillity that his old friend had mentioned before from overhearing his fellow comrades. As soon as he can he guns into black mesa with only one thing on the brain-

switching over to benry,, the little snoop, no clipping through walls, joining and leaving the science team ever now and again. He eventually finds out that the military is here and what if ya know? what if his friend from the past is here? So he makes it his own personal mission to find Forzen. Just so scared of every dead bootboy body, not knowing if its the one hes looking for.. sometimes mistakenly sweet voicing bodies that very much could be Forzen. With both looking for each other the search is on...

and then, like a spot light on either one of them they find what theyre looking for, across one of the many sprawling rooms in back mesa of all places, theyre eyes meet- in an instant their body’s cling to one another as if neither one had felt touch before. There’s only a few ‘i missed you’s before theyre kissing. Forzen holding up benry in his arms tightly, not wanting to let go... After that theyre practically inseparable again, walking around black mesa as if nothings goinging on, catching up and talking. They agree to meet up again later,, but forzen’s got other plans to make that happen sooner,,, he’s even got the plan and dog to do do so--

// so i basically hc that forzen only held sunkist hostage so he could trade her for benry and he could look like a hero and possibly start to make up for leaving like he did, but all that is foiled when everyone but benry shows up, and now he has to improvise, thus the “dispel the rumor” bullshit--

after the res cas, benry and forzen make their mutual loving official and move in together like they always wanted to do,, and everything great!

...

“wait a minute- no you hurt me-”

and a big argument starts and its bad. Benry is a crying, sweet voicing mess and forzen just wants to run away again. Both gordon and tommy have to intervene and talk both of them down from ‘this isnt going to work out’

ofc forzen feels bad for leaving the way he did, at the time it seemed like the best way to leave so he wouldnt feel bad about leaving benry and hoping benry wouldnt be hurt as bad in the long run. Forzen was trapped and needed an escape. He does realize that things could have been handled better and he often beats himself up for hurting benry the way he did and he would do anything for benry to make it up to him. After forzen apologized n shit benry doesnt even think much of it now, hes just glad hes finally with the one he loved all those years ago, and they can actually stay together this time <3

thank you for sitting here and listening to me ramble insanely about to funny men from halflife parody :0)

#hlvrai #forzen #benry #benzen #forzry #wooorm askin

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distantsuns-archive · 3 years

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𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬 !

FULL NAME. james alisdair innes. PRONUNCIATION. his last name is pronounced “in-nuhs” as in “guinness.” it often gets mispronounced and it annoys him. NICKNAME. lorcan calls him seamus, but that’s the only nickname he tolerates. also gets called “blondie” sometimes, “jamesy” (hates it), “jim” or “jimmy” (hates that even more) and probably worst of all, “peroxide princess.” GENDER. cis male. HEIGHT. 5′10.” AGE. twenty-five in main verse. ZODIAC. sagittarius. SPOKEN LANGUAGES. english, some gaelic.

𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 !

HAIR COLOR. naturally dirty blond, often dyed platinum blond. EYE COLOR. hazel. SKIN TONE. sickly pale. BODY TYPE. he is very skinny and physically weak. ACCENT. he has a glaswegian accent; he isn’t too hard to understand most times, but when he gets angry or drunk, his accent gets thicker. don’t ever get into a drunk argument with the man, you will not understand a word he is saying lol. DOMINANT HAND. right. POSTURE. he is a notorious sloucher, whether standing or sitting. when he plays his guitar and gets really into it, he often tenses up his shoulders and he has a lot of back and shoulder pains because of this. also, he has horrible technique when playing the guitar for a long period of time and he ends up getting carpel tunnel in his later years because of it. (never said he was a genius.) SCARS. lots of small scars from various drunken accidents. cigarette burn scars on his left forearm. there is a healed razor-blade scar running from his elbow to his wrist from one of his ill-fated suicide attempts. it’s not very noticeable but don’t ask about it if you know what’s good for you. TATTOOS. none. he’s scared of needles. BIRTHMARKS. none. FEATURE(S). he’s constantly changing his hair color and style because of his unstable self-image. he’s also noticeably very skinny and is always cold so he’s often bundled up, even in the heat of the summer and the fatigue and the bags under his eyes make him look older than he is. james is obviously frail and sickly and it’s easy to tell he’s heavily abusing drugs by his appearance.

𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 !

PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT. james was very close to his mother, and her death when he was five years old hit him very hard. he still holds himself responsible for her death even though it was a car accident. his dad was never that involved with him or paul and barely saw them after their mother’s death. to say he has parental issues would be a hell of an understatement.

𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 !

OCCUPATION. lead singer and guitarist in chocolate cake. CURRENT RESIDENCE. he splits his time between his house with lorcan in chelsea, central london, and his flat in glasgow, scotland. CLOSE FRIENDS. he doesn’t really have that many close friends because he’s such a royal pain in the ass. i guess his older brother paul would be his closest friend. RELATIONSHIP STATUS. married to lorcan harris since 1987. they have a rocky marriage; both of them constantly cheat on each other and they fight and make up a lot. FINANCIAL STATUS. wealthy. besides the money he makes from touring and album sales, he gets all the songwriter’s royalties so he’s pretty much set for life. DRIVER’S LICENSE. it, uh, it got suspended after he was found driving under the influence and speeding for like the third time. james drives anyway though. CRIMINAL RECORD. yeah uh let me get back to you on this one it’s a lot but i keep forgetting what he was actually charged with and what got dropped because he bribed people lol. i do know at one point he ends up on house arrest for a few months and he’s like “i don’t have to go on tour now? this is fucking brilliant!” he’s a mess <3

𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 !

SEXUAL ORIENTATION. bisexual, prefers men. PREFERRED EMOTIONAL ROLE. submissive | dominant | switch. PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE. submissive | dominant | switch. LIBIDO. high. the only way james can feel wanted is through sexual relationships so he’s always seeking out hook-ups to satisfy his need to feel wanted and attractive. TURN ONS. lmfao it’s too early for this. suffice it to say, he is probably the kinkiest person most people have ever been with. also he’s so fucking loud during sex. RIP. he’s really into being tied up and p*gged but you didn’t hear that from me. TURN OFFS. not much honestly? except for like, piss and shit, that freaks him out, and all that CBT thing..... not for him, thank you. LOVE LANGUAGE. gifts. he is pretty materialistic, but i guess it’s understandable for a man who grew up in poverty. RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES. in his main verse, james is too far gone to really have a healthy relationship. he’s got too many issues of his own to work out first (read: he will accidentally call you the wrong name during sex and then act like nothing happened the next day.) in his other verses, he’s usually very shy in pursuing people he likes because he’s so inexperienced with relationships and is pretty oblivious. he is a hopeless romantic and loves to be “romanced,” so to speak.

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 !

CHARACTER’S THEME SONG. sinner by n/eil f/inn. HOBBIES TO PASS TIME. he’s a very talented artist as well and loves to sketch and draw things in his notebook while on tour. james carries a polaroid camera with him wherever he goes and has boxes full of them. he also has a tape recorder and he’ll geek out about the acoustics of any room and tape the most random shit and it’ll turn up on a recording like seven years later. ILLNESSES. he has paranoid schizophrenia and he never takes his antipsychotics so he’s always paranoid of being watched by the government or the media. he also has undiagnosed anorexia. PHOBIAS. textbook case of abandonment issues. also has a huge phobia of doctors and hospitals and will not go to one, even if his life is in imminent danger. james also has a severe phobia of needles. and strangely enough, for a man who is obsessed with death, he is terrified of it too. SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL. he acts really cocky and confident (after all, he’s a rockstar) but he has crippling self-doubt and is terrified of being found out as a “fraud.” VULNERABILITIES. he is scared that no one will ever love him. he knows the image of him that is sold to his fans is a total invention and he is not the man the world thinks he is. james wants someone to love him for who he is. he feels like he’s not good enough for anything and not to mention his trauma from his religious upbringing. james swears he doesn’t believe in any religion now but there’s a part of his mind that he can’t shut up that says - what if they were right and you are going to hell forever? and that scares the shit out of him.

#stole this from the dash feel free to steal from me as well <3 #james sweaty....... stop it. get some help #( HEADCANONS ┋‘ I AM A MAN WHO NO ONE KNOWS. ’ )#tw self harm mention #tw parental death #tw eating disorder

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yeaahishowedupatyourparty · 3 years

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Zara’s Truth Booth.♥️ You can read this as OOC or an IC interview, I really don’t mind!

GENERAL QUESTIONS 1. Please state your full name: “Zara Belle Calloway.” 2. Does your name(s) have any kind of meaning? If so, what is it?: “I’ve literally never asked and I doubt there’s much thought behind it. By the fourth child, you probably just pick a page in the baby name book and go with it.”  3. Do you have any nicknames?: “No - I refuse to accept Zar or Z.”  4. Where were you born? And in which country?: “I was born in South Kensington, London…England.” 5. What is your date of birth?: “13th of December 2001.”  6. Of course, the following question; what is your Zodiac sign? “Sagittarius.”  7. Do you believe in Zodiac signs? “I think so? I relate more to my moon sigh, though - a Cancer.” 8. Where do you live? “Lilac Heights…Violet Springs. In the most beautiful house. I love it.” 9. What is your home situation like? (ex. do you live with your family? Your partner etc.?) “I live in my own house, most of the time. Sometimes with Danny, sometimes without - hopefully more with in the future. I do go back to the hotel sometimes too, in London. Not as much.”  10. Do you have any siblings? “Three older sisters…Yeah.”  11. Do you have any kind of allergies? “Fish, which is just as well. I don’t like it.”  12. Do you own any pets? If so, what kind of pets are they? “I have two dogs; Pumpkin and Tank.” 13. Why did you apply to St Jude’s? “To build up my career, I guess.” 14. Did you had to go through a lot audition rounds? “Not really. I already had three sisters here and also a lot of work I’d done myself by the time I got to eighteen. I did one round of auditions which I’m proud of.”  15. What is the current course you’re following? “Acting and Directing.”  16. If you can switch courses, which one would you switch to and why? “I wouldn’t, I’m fully dedicated to this career I have now.”  17. What is your proudest project you’ve done? “Euphoria, easily. I wrote it, I directed every episode, I casted it, I bought it all to life and helped develop the characters. It will always be my baby and I’m so happy with how it was received.”  18. What is the proudest project that someone’s else has done? “Singular Act I. That’s my baby…Or Little Women, that’s my other baby.” 19. Do you like FanCons? “I love FanCons.” 20. What do you like about FanCons? “Meeting the fans! It never gets old and they’re always so enthusiastic and kind. It reminds me how lucky I am, for sure. There’re some I know by name now and I’m more excited to see them than them me.”  21. What don’t you like about FanCons? “The competition? Does that make sense. It shouldn’t matter who loves who more…I feel like on the fans part it can get quite aggressive when really they’re all there for the same reason.”  22. A fan memory that always stuck with you? Can be positive or negative. “I feel like I’ve been put on the spot! I don’t know…”  23. Your favorite event so far? “I loved the Summer FanCon Tour. That was so amazing.”  24. What kind of event would you like to see in the future? “More events where we get to be silly - fundraisers and challenges. Sometimes it gets too competitive or serious with the award based ones, or talent based ones.”  25. Would you recommend St Jude’s to friends, family. etc? “For sure.” PERSONALITY QUESTIONS 26. What are your positive traits? “I hate this question, don’t make me answer that.” 27. What are you negative traits? “I’m probably a little too hot-headed and emotional.” 28. What would other people describe you as? “…I don’t know.” 29. What are your pet peeves? “Being spoken to like an idiot, or like I don’t understand things. I’m not silly or incapable at all.”  30. What makes you happy? “My friends.” 31. What makes you upset? “Oh, anything! But mainly seeing people down on themselves.” 32. What is something you love? “When somebody is so comfortable with you, that they open up and talk about all of their passions. I love when people are talking about what they love in general.” 33. What is something you dislike? “People who behave like they’ve never made a mistake and don’t let others move on from theirs.” 34. What are you strengths? “Again, I hate answering questions like this…Maybe that I’m good at - eventually - admitting when I’m wrong? Or, a good listener?”  35. What are you weaknesses? “Anything with chocolate on or in it. I’m a simple person.” 36. A misconception people often think of you? “I know a lot of people think that I’m maybe like, how do I put it nicely? A home-wrecker…or, promiscuous, I guess? I’m not. I’ve had maybe 3 boyfriends in my whole life and I’m 20.”  37. Do you have any fears? “I’m really scared of being alone - like literally and on a deeper level.” 38. What scares you the most? “Deep open water. Yikes.”  39. What do you do to entertain yourself? “I don’t - I seek out the closest person to annoy until they entertain me.” 40. What is your MBTI? “I’m an INFJ. Most people are shocked at the I part.”  41. How do you deal with stress? “Cry. Or eat. Or both.”  42. Are you a determined person? Are you a stubborn person? “To an extent, I’d say so.” 43. Do you consider yourself selfish? “No…” 44. Would you like to be different? “I guess so…Sometimes I wish I was more likeable because I get the sense people aren’t that fond of me.”  45. Are you more introverted (focused on your inner world) or more extraverted (focused on other people and the outer world)? “Introverted.” ROMANCE QUESTIONS 46. What is your sexual orientation? “I’m bisexual.” 47. Current relationship status? “Taken…Happily.” 48. When was your first kiss? “It was for a random television series and I was like 14. My first real kiss though was only a year and a bit ago.” 49. Do you remember your first date? If so, with who was it? What did you do? “I don’t remember it. Oops.”  50. Have you ever experienced heart-break? “Yes. Not necessarily through a break-up.”  51. Have you ever been in love? (If yes, skip to question 53) “Yes.”  52. If no, how so?  53. How do you know when you’re in love? “For me, everything becomes about that person. Even songs that I listened to long before I knew someone, or films I watched way before I knew they existed, I manage to tie everything back to one specific person. And, I’m definitely not a subtle person either - I think if I’m in love with someone, they’ll know before I do if they’re observant.” 54. What would be your ideal date? “I always feel like it’s more a question of who; I’d rather do something really simple like staying at home, cooking and watching a movie with someone I’m really comfortable with and like…Instead of going somewhere really extravagant with somebody I know who’ll make me uncomfortable.”  55. What is your perspective on marriage? “It’s not the ultimate declaration of love. There are plenty of married people who aren’t in love anymore…And if you look into the roots of it, it’s kind of…messed up? I don’t know. It’s nice but not necessary.”  56. (only for non-virgins) Are you a sub, dom or switch? “…I feel like I can switch it up. It depends on whatever the person I’m with prefers?” 57. What do you think of relationships? “I’m conflicted because there is so much more to life, but I’m not anti-relationship, obviously. I feel like they’d be better and more enjoyable if there wasn’t such a pressure on people to have been in a relationship before a certain age. If you’ve not found the one at 55, why is that so bad?”  58. What do you think of one-night stands? “I’ve had them. They’re not for everyone, though.” 59. Are you still a virgin? “No.”  60. Most attractive trait in a different person? “Patience. Especially if I’m talking about specifically attractive to me - I tend to jump to conclusions and get sad or mad or annoyed really quickly. So, people who bear with me, that’s attractive.” 61. What matters most to you when it comes to a relationship? “Genuine chemistry. As soon as that goes, nothing else really matters. Like, if there’s no chemistry for one person but loyalty is there - it almost feels like a job.”  62. Are you comfortable with PDA? Or would you be comfortable with PDA? “Yeah.”  63. Are you more of a type to be asked out or the type to ask the other out? “A bit of both. I think I’m probably bold enough to ask people out but it is nice to be asked.” 64. How do you express love to the other? “Pay attention to what they say, make sure they’re happy, tell them everything…Kiss them, cling on to them…Become painfully annoying until they can’t stand it. It’s a cycle.”  65. Who is your celebrity crush? “Danny. My boyfriend. I don’t even care that it’s the cliche answer, haha.” GETTING DEEP QUESTIONS 66. Do you regret anything? “…Yes.” 67. Is there something you woule like to re-do? So, start all over again? “Yes.” 68. What is something you would never share with anyone? “For sure…I’m uncomfortable!”  69. When was the last time you cried? Why did you cry? “…I’m trying to think, maybe a week ago or so? I just felt down and missed somebody.” 70. Most memorable event that happened in your time in St Judes? This could be anything: “That’s really tricky! I’m not sure, to be honest. I wasn’t here when all of the crazy stuff went down, like the cruise ship? I’m really unsure.” 71. One thing you wish you could do all over? “My childhood…but with my 20 year old mind.” 72. Someone you miss? “I’d rather not.”  73. Something you wish you could forget? “I don’t like these questions.”  74. Who has the biggest impact on you? “Probably my family - not necessarily in a good way.” 75. What is your perspective on love? Is it beautiful? Does it scare you? “It’s beautiful and being loved is the best feeling in the world, I’d be lying if I said I don’t crave it.”  76. What has hurt you in the past that you don’t want others to go through? “Losing somebody that is like, your other half. Or actually, losing somebody you really love without much explanation at all. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.” 77. What is something you have gained, something you have lost and something you let go of during the past year? “I’ve gained…more self-esteem, I’ve lost a lot of time I’m not going to get back - I think and I’ve let go of some trust issues, I think.” 78. Have you ever lost a friend? do you wish you would still be friends? “I have. I lost a friend because she dated my ex after claiming they were just friends - I don’t because it hurt and all she had to do was be honest.” 79. Do you have any triggers? What is the history behind these triggers and are they related to any disorders or mental illnesses? “I don’t think that’s appropriate.”  80. If you could meet your 16 year old self, what would tell them? “That things do pass..They don’t necessarily get better or easier, but they pass and you learn to deal with things in a more productive way. I’d also hug her - tight.” RANDOM QUESTION ROUND 81. Summer or Winter? “Summer’s weather but winter’s overall vibe and celebrations.” 82. Cats or dogs? “Dogs, sorry.”  83. Beach or mountains? “The beach.”  84. Phone calls or texting? “Facetime. I’m that friend.”  85. Have you ever skipped class? “Yes.”

#stjudestruthbooth #itszara

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rosemaryfm · 4 years

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『ANYA TAYLOR JOY ❙ CIS FEMALE』 ⟿ looks like LYDIA MONTGOMERY is here for HER JUNIOR year as a COMMUNICATIONS student. SHE is 21 years old & known to be HOPEFUL, IDEALISTIC, DEPENDENT & MALLEABLE. They’re living in PERKINS, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ JAMES. 21. EST. SHE/THEY.

hllo. .. sorry fr switching muses so suddenly .. bt lydia will stick. i swear. as always gib this a like if u’d like 2 plot <3

TW ABANDONMENT, DEATH MENTIONS, BORDERLINE IMPLIED

aesthetics.

knee highs and platform mary janes, tulle skirts and bubbles and beads and lace, and heart-shaped mirrors and heart-shaped bruises, gaudy mirrors and gaudy faucets and gaudy frames and chandeliers and gaudy gold, handwritten love letters and kiss-stained envelopes, flowers braided in hair and dying flowers in vases and flowers pressed in between pages, vintage perfume bottles and old ballet slippers and discarded head-shots, short skirts and satin slips and tiny cardigans, melted candles and burnt fingertips and dripping wax, floral baths and beach waves and seashells and summer breezes, renaissance paintings and statues and praying hands and rosaries and empty beds, masks and identities and sobbing and crying and yearning and wishing and learning and wanting and needing and the cycle repeating and repeating and repeating.

basic info.

full name: lydia rosemary montgomery

nickname(s): lydia delia, lyds

b.o.d. - june 22nd, cancer

label(s): the allegiant, the chameleon, the crestfallen, the facade, the gregarious, the grifter, the malleable, the marionette, the neophyte, the obsequious, the rose-colored glass, the sybarite, etc. ...

height: 5′7″

hometown: new york city, new york

sexuality: bisexual

stats

inspired by: amy march (little women), lydia bennet (pride & prejudice), lucy pevensie (narnia), daisy buchanan (the great gatsby), moira rose (schitt’s creek), karen smith (mean girls)

biography.

the product of an affair between christian montgomery, an esteemed doctor at his hospital - and one of the nurses there, allison dermont. the half sister of caleb montgomery (shoutout 2 alli!)

named after her maternal grandmother (deceased before lydia even turned one) and rosemary because it reminded allison of her childhood (rosemary always in the air, growing from pots on their porch and baked into the bread they’d eat)

growing up, lydia never knew her father. but she knew of him - her mother told her stories often of him, and the work he did to save others. built him up as a hero, a role model, someone admirable and brave and just despite the fact he’d no longer look her in the eyes when crossing paths in the hospital’s hallways. lydia idolized him.

was a very lonely child - her mother worked long hours, and babysitters were often distant. tended to attach herself to them, anyways, clinging to legs and arms and having to be peeled off and scolded (which then resulted in tantrums, of thrown toys and stomping feet and red, tearful faces)

her schoolmates were cruel to her, an easy target as a child - she followed behind the girls who seemed the most well liked, trying to mimic how they were. it’d always been a little off, and a little off-putting, and she cried often.

abandonment issues led to an obsession with perfection - as if she accomplished the most, her father would be blown away with her talents when he finally reached out. it’d always been a hope for her - her father contacting her, bringing her into his life. being a full family, loved and attended to.

strove for the highest marks in all her classes, though there’d been hiccups here and there. she’d done ballet for a number of years before her dance instructor had essentially told her she’d never make it to a company, which led to her abruptly quitting. even put out a portfolio and contacted modeling agencies - she’d done a few small photoshoots as a teenager, but she’d never made it to anything big.

tried her hardest to act and work the part of someone important, elegant and better than who she really was. it showed in the aesthetics she indulged in (thrifted nearly everything she owned, from trinkets to her clothing) and the way she acted. in high school, she trailed behind the popular girls. molded her personality to cater to them, to be more like them. a mean girl, in a way.

did the same when it came to boyfriends and lovers - she’d mold herself into exactly what they wanted, tried to be the perfect girlfriend for them, or sexual partner, or anything. she just wanted the attention, the love. had a myriad of relationships in high school (and it bled into college, too) where she’d give her all, and ultimately end up used and disappointed.

never felt like the first choice, only the second. always the bridemaid, never the bride. never good enough, no matter how hard she tried. but always remained hopeful - idealistic, always thinking that she’d get her turn one day. optimistic, but with lowering self-esteem and a mountain of insecurities.

became something of a habitual liar, in the process - always wanting to seem better than she was, so she lied about where she lived (instead of a measly apartment, she lived in a penthouse) and her accomplishments and her experience, and her feelings and who her parents were.

found something she was genuinely good at during her senior year of high school, when she’d chosen a fashion elective for one of her class periods. the practical aspect, she was good at - creatively? she had nothing to offer.

because of her lack of ideas, she never pursued it further. in college she chose to go into communications, specializing in public relations, though she’d never thought of actually finishing college. it was just a way for her to find a beau, to marry - to leave new york and have children. has always wanted to be a housewife with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids. to be loved and held for the rest of her life.

without cliques in college, it was hard for her to find her footing among peers. joined a sorority, molded her personality once more into something they would desire, and was accepted. got a frat boyfriend until it burned out, and another, and another, until she had something of a reputation.

with all of these expenses adding up - lydia’d never wanted to work a retail job, or food service, or anything measly like that - she found use for her sewing skills in the back of npc shops. worked in a shady operation producing fake designer items. she’d been excellent at producing exact replicas.

it wasn’t a very safe job and it’d ended her up in danger on some occasions, but it paid, and she was desperate.

met caleb for the first time at his mother’s funeral and became obsessed with the idea of having a brother, of being closer to her father somehow. cyberstalked him as much as she could and found radcliffe, where she eventually transferred to when caleb had decided to go back. practically followed him like a lost dog.

got into perkins because she literally pre-wrote her essay to get in and basically sobbed her story in front of secretaries and deans and housing faculty until she’d been granted permission to move in.

currently interning at a company where she has control over their social media accounts, alongside a team of other interns. when she’s feeling particularly upset she’ll post passive aggressive or straight up distraught, distressing messages (tweets, captions, etc.) on their official accounts, sometimes featuring the mascot of the company/brand. they haven’t figured out its her, yet.

personality.

i won’t lie. she’s a bit of a mess.

constantly changes her personality to fit whoever she’s talking to, desperate for their approval in even the most minimal ways. consistently lies about literally ... whatever, sometimes for no reason, if it’ll make her seem cooler or better in some way. type of person who wants to one-up others.

excessive, in that way. clingy and pushy, she tends to latch onto people and designate her ‘favorites’ - their opinion means the world to her, and when it falters she essentially crumbles as a person.

pretty fragile as a person - emotional, and unable to be yelled at because she’ll wind up crying. takes a lot of things very personally, and always accuses herself as being the problem, which leads to her changing aspects of herself.

loves often, and viciously, will fall for someone at the drop of a hat. yearns, often. sulks often, too.

still has a ballerina’s posture, model’s demeanor, very upright and it could be mistaken as intimidating, though the facade cracks immediately when she speaks. loves gossip and unintentionally - or, intentionally - spreads it at the drop of a hat.

can get very possessive, and jealous, and outright mean. very highly defensive at times, when pushed (it doesn’t take much to push her)

sentimental to a fault - she still has her last pair of ballet slippers despite the fact that she’d dropped that pursuit when she was fifteen.

her room is adorned with mirrors, handheld and mountable and tabletop - they’re all heart-shaped.

has an obsession with hearts, actually, and florals, and gold, when it comes to decor. has hanging plants and flowers falling from her ceiling. her sink is a gold swan (her favorite animals are swans) faucet that she paid to get installed without permission from perkins.

basically her decor is very gaudy. loves fur coats and silk slips and mini skirts, brandy melville, platforms and socks. very specific style that she doesn’t falter from, often.

takes baths often to distress but setting them up is an hour-long process in itself, flowers and herbs and candles surrounding her tub. she’ll stay in there until she’s pruny and the water’s gone cold.

likes to garner sympathy when she can - though she herself tends to be a very sympathetic, compassionate, person. cries for others even when they’re not crying themselves. it’s a lot. tends to make things about herself, in some way.

a smoker, and a bad one at that, does it whenever she feels the slightest amount of stress. she’s very stressed, very often.

likes the aesthetic of art, like renaissance paintings and roman statues, but isn’t deeply knowledgeable on them.

very impressionable, easy to impress, and is loyal to a definite fault. doesn’t tend to give up on people, and holds out for the best.

a dreamer, excessively hopeful and idealistic - is often let down. wears rose-colored glasses and doesn’t see it, anyways. can be vicious, but ultimately just wants to be loved. obsessed with the idea of it.

very finicky and picky, but is also? a hypocrite? says she’s a vegan but she isn’t - she has indulged in mcdonalds nuggets more than once.

very materialistic in that she loves high-end things that she ... can’t afford, but is also financially irresponsible and loves to spend her money on things she absolutely doesn’t need. selfish and immature, at times.

vastly insecure, likes reassurance. double texts. overthinks. romanticizes.

laughs when she’s nervous - laughs a lot.

patient until she’s impatient, the reason why she burns her tongue and the roof of her mouth so often on hot teas and coffee and treats.

is either over-prepared or under-prepared; over-prepared in academics, always doing the upmost she can do (still a perfectionist) and under-prepared when it comes to dressing out - never wears a jacket and is always cold (anemic, too) because she’s hoping that a handsome stranger will give her theirs’

wishes on dandelion puffs and shooting stars and each and every 11:11, wishes for a lot of things - they never come true, but she keeps wishing.

loves romance novels, and period / historical dramas/romances especially. like, frankly obsessed

has a collection of erotica novels, too.

sleeps around often but there’s no guarantee that she won’t get attached to who she’s sleeping with.

la croix fan :/

got onto the cheer team the same way she got into perkins. crying to the coach. but she does have immaculate form, so.

can’t say no to anybody, about anything and for anything its a genuine Problem she feels like she always Has to do what people ask because that’s how you get people to like you (no it isnt!)

tdlr; she listens to marina and the diamonds, lana del rey, and mitski far more than any normal fucking person would and that should be enough to describe her.

wanted connections.

okay so i kind of imagine her as being New to radcliffe so these may not be instantaneous but.

a ride or die... someone tht she wld probably die fr at the drop of a pin or w/e, they dn’t have to be Her ride or die though,, y’know what i mean

bad influences... she’s very impressionable and wants to fit in with people... they cld get her to do anything...

people she annoys... she does that a lot :/ she’s just intense. high care. needy.

friends! just friends... please ... give her friends ... she’ll lay down her life for them ...

a drug dealer... y’know ... just fr funsies.

party pals... needless 2 say ...

unrequited feelings... mostly if not entirely on her part, because she’ll ‘fall in love’ with just about anybody

attachments... that she has on other people. just won’t quit!

new yorkians... who might’ve known her in her youth! she went to a public school.

associated with caleb... people who only know her because she’s caleb’s bastard sister

bad time... something went wrong along the way of their friendship and now it’s ... super bad ...

enemies... she’ll probably cry to your face or maybe even yell at u! who knows! u hate each other.

perkins roommate... i repeat, mayhaps a perkins roommate? who got thrust with her in the middle of the semester?

something soft... idk what ... cld be cute

the world is our oyster ... we can always brainstorm too... idk!! she’s new in town!! john mulaney vc !!

#radintro #abandonment tw #death mention

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absentmorals · 4 years

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( LAUREN GERMAN. FORTY TWO. CISFEMALE. SHE/HER. ) in texas, MALAKAI BEHR is known to most as KAI. they have been riding with the diablos for TEN YEARS. they originally from MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE and the RIDER is known to be very OUTSPOKEN & POSSESSIVE but the other club members will tell you they are CONFIDENT & DRIVEN. as the years go by, they’ve gained a lot of respect in the club and around town. they rarely ever drive a car but when they do ROYALS (COVER) by OTEP is usually heard blasting. ( the sound of an aluminum baseball bat tapping on steel toed boots, a dusty bible left on the shelf, a worn deck of cards covered in blood, and shotgun shells hitting the floor. )

GENERAL STATISTICS

FULL NAME: Malakai Allyn Behr.

ALIAS(ES): Kai, Al.

AGE: Forty Two.

DATE OF BIRTH: May 3.

PLACE OF BIRTH: Memphis, TN.

FAMILY: Jean Behr (mother), Deceased. Grant Behr (father), deceased. Samael Behr (Brother, older), Incarcerated.

GENDER: Cis female.

SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Bisexual.

MARTIAL STATUS: Single, never married.

EYE COLOR: Green.

HAIR COLOR: Dirty Blond.

HEIGHT: Five feet, seven inches.

WEIGHT: One hundred, twenty pounds.

DOMINANT HAND: Left.

MANNERISMS/SPEECH: “Southern” Accent that she calls corn fed or cousin fucking depending on the day of the week and the circumstance. An half smirk is usually always worn on her features, making her look somewhere between dangerous and mischievous. She fidgets when she’s bored or nervous.

TATTOOS/PIERCINGS: Pictured here here here here and here. Ears, nipples.

QUOTE: “No, I’m not ok. But I haven’t been ok since I was 11, maybe 12. I am still here though. I’m still breathing. For me, sometimes, that will have to be enough.” - Clementine Von Radics.

BACKSTORY

TW: Child Abuse/Neglect, Drug Use, Murder, Violence, etc.

Born in Memphis, TN, to two parents who were in no way prepared for their first child, let alone their second. Her mother routinely made sure to tell her that she wasn’t want it, even going far enough to tell her that she should have gotten an abortion during one of her famous, drug addled rants. Her brother Samael, was her only saving grace. From a young age, he provided for her on the nights that their parents were too fucked up to remember to feed them, and taught her to stay out of the house as much as possible. The two of them were often found at the library, skimming through books and hiding from their home life.

Staying away worked, until it didn’t. One night in particular is the one that she will always remember, the one that still wakes her up screaming in the middle of the night. Her father’s penchant for violence against her mother was nothing new, but the choking noises were. They were the sounds of her mother dying, she would later learn. It was always so loud in the house, they’d never even heard the gun go off. He wasn’t finished, and eventually he would come for the pair of them, huddling in the corner of the room they’d shared.

After a struggle. it was Samael who came out victorious. At Seventeen, he’d won, but that didn’t change the fact that she watched, she watched as her father bled out on the living room floor, and shotguns never did leave a pretty mess behind. She’d also been the one to find their mother, because even though their parents had been awful, they hadn’t quite killed a little girls want, or need to have their mother, but what a regret that was.

Eventually, Sam and Kai were separated, and she would bounce from foster home, to foster home. No one wanted to keep damaged goods, they wanted a pretty little blond baby, just without the baggage she had to carry with her, and they certainly didn’t want to be asked every day where her brother was. She landed with a couple who didn’t want a child, they wanted a check, and she stayed there. By then she’d learned to be self sufficient, and falling in with the easy money of dealing drugs, it didn’t hurt.

Once that happened, she just started to get further into the game, so to speak. She did chase the answers about Sam, though, and was never happy when she got them. They led her to Straton twelve years ago, after bouncing her all around the United States, mainly New York, California, and Miami. Once he ended up in the Texas prison system, it seemed to stick, so she stayed. It was easy enough to find the club, and it called to her for several reasons. She’s been to jail a few times behind her cut, and her patch, most notably the time she’d beaten a man half to death with a baseball bat, the same bat that hangs in her office like a trophy, complete with blood still sticking to the edges.

You could say that Malakai has a temper, or you could say that her past damaged her, or you could probably just settle with her being absolutely out of her skull. She wouldn’t argue with you about any of those decisions, as a matter of fact, she rarely argues at all. Instead, there is a very clear switch flipped when she makes a decision, and once that happens, it’s easy enough to see; there is very little chance of turning back.

I’m really not great at introducing myself, but I am Blue. I’m in the EST timezone, unfortunately being claimed by the lack of an American dream. I’m a dog groomer, so holla at ya girl for all the baby baby pictures (fight me, they are always better than actual tiny humans). Anyway, these are my awful daughters, and if you like this, I will eventually come at you about plots. Or, you know, hope that you come to me anyway, because social anxiety is determined to fuck me harder than life.

#rideintro.#( 𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔞𝔨𝔞𝔦 𝔟𝔢𝔥𝔯 / muse. )#( 𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔞𝔨𝔞𝔦 𝔟𝔢𝔥𝔯 / experience. )

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nowhereiswhereibelong · 4 years

Text

73 Questions

I mas tagged by: @mrs-machinegun-norris about two centuries ago sorry

On a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now?

• 5

Describe yourself in a hashtag?

• #sadbicht

• Cause I'm a bad bicht you can't kill me, only I do that

If you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be?

• Aaron Taylor-Johnson

• Colson Backer

If your life was a musical, what would the marquee say?

• The crazy bisexual is on the loose

What’s one thing people don’t know about you?

• That I cant handle silence

What’s your wake up ritual?

• All my cats and family yells at me till I roll of take my meds and stare at the wall till I'm late

What’s your go to bed ritual?

• Make sure I cleaned the litter box and that my cats have food and water then is up to bed and reading anything and everything till I fall a sleep

What’s your favourite time of day?

• Night time (I get the zoomies), or when I'm home alone

Your go to for having a good laugh?

• I really like comedy and some that make me laugh even when I watched 1000 times: John Mulaney, Daniel Sloss, Russel Howard and Sarah Millican

Dream country to visit?

• As many as I can! I have an extensive list

What’s the biggest surprise you’ve had?

• Last semester 3 professors at university were really supportive and understanding and I didnt expect them to be so kind or belive in me that much.

Heels or flats/sneakers?

• Sneakers everywhere all the time for any given reason

Vintage or new?

• Vintage bits and pisses of different eras but late 80s early 90s give me live

• And I'm obsessed with 70s buildings dont know why

Who do you want to write your obituary?

• An creative stranger - go nuts dude freak people out

Style icon?

• dont have one I guess

What are three things you can’t live without?

• My cats

• My phone

• My guitar

What’s one ingredient you put in everything?

• I'm crazy about mustard

• My dad always says anything salivary can be better with cheese and anything sweet be better with chocolate - not that far from the truth

What 3 people living or dead would you like to make dinner for?

• Elvis Presley

• Jane Fonda

• Janis Joplin

What’s your biggest fear in life?

• Failure

• The dark

Window or aisle seat?

• Window: you can look at the view, it's better for sleeping and during the day sunlight for reading

What’s your current TV obsession?

• A have many, it's a problem, but right now mind hunter

Favourite app?

• Instagram and tumblr

Secret talent?

• I like to lie to myself and say acting but maybe just weirdly good at pretending to be good at things (ain't that the joke huh)

Most adventurous thing you’ve done in your life?

• I would say it was dumb, stupid and streamly dangerous but when I was 16 a friend and I went to some guys house in a very weird neighborhood and lied to our parents about it and only 1 other friend new (also our taxi couldn't find the house). We meet those two guys at a friends party and they said that they were throwing one and that we should go, and our dumb selfdestruting alcohol hunting minds though, why not. It was not a party. It was just a hang out with us and one other guy and to this day I dont know how we left at 7am (the only way to get out of there was the first bus because uber wasn't a thing yet and me and my friend were to scared of what kind taxi driver we would find) unharmed and not sexually harassed, given that one of the dudes that our friends new more hated me for a few months for not putting out for him, cause you know, men.

• I'm absolutely sure they wanted a sex party that didnt happen. But I did show my unasked skills of knowing every single black veil brides lyrics.

How would you define yourself in three words?

• Anxious

• Laud

• Loyal

Favourite piece of clothing you own?

• The stolen 80s tshirts from my dad

• High waisted shorts

Must have clothing item everyone should have?

• A comfortable pair of jean shorts that you feel pretty in

Superpower you would want?

• To stop time

• I get to anxious trying to time manage and it just snowballs from there. And sleeping in without being always late.

What’s inspiring you in life right now?

• Machine Gun Kelly (I stared listening to his stuff a few months ago)

• But always and forever is the passion that moves people

Best piece of advice you’ve received?

• Be/do to other people what you wanted to be done for you

Best advice you’d give your teenage self?

• It's not just on your head it's a real thing, you're lot alone, and it ok to need help.

A book that everyone should read?

• Harry Potter: that even thou I have read multiple times it still is amazing and full of symbolism that people brush through some times.

• Women who run with the wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés

• My older sister made me start this book and its absolutely live changing and I belive should be obligatory to all women in this world. This book is a live long work by this psychologist and through miths, legends, folk tales and stories she puts together what she calls the wild women archetype and what is the feminine instinct is and how those tales teach us about it and how to have a healthy relationship with her.

What would you like to be remembered for?

• For being kind

How do you define beauty?

• It's an powerfull force within

What do you ~love most~ only love about your body?

• The shape of my eyes

Best way to take a rest/decompress?

• Listening to music and dancing around

Favourite place to view art?

• I dont understand sorry

If your life were a song, what would the title be?

• Static supernova

If you could master one instrument, what would it be?

• Guitar and piano cant choose only one

If you had a tattoo, where would it be?

• My planned ones:

• Orca

• Felix felicis

• Tree

• Mother earth

• Penicillin allergy (I dont trust nobody)

Dolphins or koalas?

• Dolphins

• Did you y'all know that orcas not only aren't whales but belong on the same family as dolphins?

What’s your spirit animal?

• Orca

Best gift you’ve ever received?

• My cats (even thou there are rescues they're my little special gifts from nature)

Best gift you’ve ever given?

• On my best friend wedding my friend and I gave a performance as siluetes (it was private beach and all the light were off and we had the car headlights behind us) I played the song you are in love by taylor swift while she did an beautiful performance on silks the song represented their relationship and how she shared it if us in a very sacred way and the silks was a representation of her herself and how the 3 of us saw in the last few years her transformation from a very broken person to the women she was born to be.

• Yes we were crying the hole time but was the most genuine and beautiful think I ever done so yeah

What’s your favourite board game?

• Dix it, its awesome go play it pls

What’s your favourite colour?

• Petrol blue

Least favourite colour?

• The color of lentil soup my mom makes it looks like a baby have serious digestive problems

Diamonds or pearls?

• Diamonds of the symbolic value of "the pressure that could've break us made us into diamonds insted"

Drugstore makeup or designer?

• Drugstore makeup, the one I know that are real brands hauahauahs

Blow-dry or air-dry?

• Air-dry

Pilates or yoga?

• Pilates even thou I must prefer sports mostly

Coffee or tea?

• My blood is coffee at this point

What’s the weirdest word in the English language?

• Wolrd, because English is not my first language and specially in an American accent the pronunciation of wolrd if simply the worst and is absolutely obnoxious and unsettling.

Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?

• Dark

• But my absolut favored is a 70% cacao white chocolate. It's incredible but I only got to buy it twice :(

Stairs or elevator?

• Stairs, I also love to sit on them

Summer or winter?

• Winter. I only like heat if I'm inside very cold water

You are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat?

• If nutrition value doesn't matter, ice cream

A desert you don’t like?

• Orange cake. Bad memories and I vomit every time I try to eat it.

A skill you’re working on mastering?

• Singing and playing the guitar

Best thing to happen to you today?

• I think I made a online friend :D

Best compliment you’ve ever received?

• That I'm kind

Favourite smell?

• Buttering sugar

Hugs or kisses?

• Hugs i Iike to be permanently attached to some people at times

If you made a documentary, what would it be about?

• Domestic violence

• Parenting

Last piece of content you consumed that made you cry?

• Today I was trying to play this song called Ronan and cryed my eyes out like all the other times I tried before It's a song of child cancer in the mother's perspective

Lipstick or lip gloss?

• Lipstick

• I'm a red matte lip stan

Sweet or savoury?

• Sweet

Girl crush?

• Billie Elish

How you know you’re in love?

• The only time I think I've been in love I only realised it because they left and I didnt understand why i was severely hurt by it and changed the way I created all relationships after that. And then it hit me

• So pain and heartache.... yeah that's depressing as shit

Song you can listen to on repeat?

• When the sun goes down - Arctic Monkeys

If you could switch lives with someone for a day who would it be?

• My own self but not a anxious depressed mess just to feel what it's like

What are you most excited about at this time in your life?

• That I dont need to make decisions

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shesahershey · 4 years

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Everything about me!

I'm bored and have nothing else to do, so here's everything about me!

My birthday's November 30th

I have 9 pets

My middle name is Nicole because that's what my mom originally wanted my first name to be

My sign is Sagittarius (not that I care lmao)

My favorite color is purple

I have low iron (I swear, I am going to pass out one day from doing something too quickly)

I have 27 ocs

I am working on a book explaining and following those ocs ( https://www.wattpad.com/story/82557802-adventurers-of-my-mind )

I am a cartoonist

I am Depressed

I am Anxious

I have ADHD

I will play games instead of working

Music is everything to me (I seriously can't do shit without it)

I love all music besides Country and Screamo

I am chill 24/7

Piss me off and I will daydream about hurting you

Hurt me and I will beat the shit out of you

Hurt my friends and I will make sure you are nothing but a bloody pulp on the sidewalk.

Violent when need be

Uses videogames to escape reality and take out violence

The quiet kid

People freak out when I talk

Will do anything to make you feel better

Bisexual

Gender Fluid

9 year old stuck in a 16 year old's body

I can't move on from the past

Childhood trauma

Lost my mom when I was 9

I am TERRIFIED of roaches.

Hyper-spikes when I get little to no sleep

Fandoms I am or was into: Hetalia, Eddsworld, Undertale/Deltarune and the AU's, FNAF Night Guards (idk if that's the right name???) Portal, Subnautica, and Minecraft

Will make inside jokes that only I know (Russian Snowman Cafe hehe)

Steals personalities to make people like me more (or so I think)

Two of my characters are almost carbon copies of other characters that inspired their design/personality because I just wanted them to be subtle nods (I regret it, but what can I do? I like how they are)

I love everyone for who they are unless you are LGBTQ+ Phobes, Terfs, Pedophiles, Beastiality, and Necrophilia. Then you may die in the worse way possible.

I love animals, hurt them and I will beat you with a bat until each and every bone is broken.

I talk to myself (Yourself knows yourself best)

"Anything's better than nothing" is my motto

Curses 24/7

Scars from Depression

Do not say, "Hey, we need to talk." I will go into a panic and think about everything I have done since birth.

Skin is delicious. (I need to stop eating myself...)

Bruises easily

I am thicc

Bust size is a goddamn 36-38 D. (Help me.)

Tiddies either fit the bra perfectly or flop out.

3 curves in my spine (genetics suck.)

Shoulders are uneven (fuck that backpack I had in 5th grade.)

I have had 3 real crushes

I have had 7 or more fictional crushes

Wings are AWESOME

I buy a ton of socks and lose every single one until there's only two or three left

Stuff animals give me life

Borderline hoarder (just for things I like or bought with my money)

My room is an abomination (where is anything??????)

I am a dog person (no patience for cats)

"If I don't align my feet with the tiles, I will die."

Tons of memes on my phone which I will not get rid of

I want to live in 2012

Either great or terrible with lying

I can't stay still

I will stare and space out

I think everyone is watching me so I'm cautious and freaking out about how I do things

I worry a lot

Cold most of the time

I jiggle when I walk

My thighs are too thicc, if I'm not in pants, they will rub against each other and it HURTS

I still have my Wii and my TV is the only one in my house that can play it

I'm somewhat flexible

Sweet treats keep me going

I can cook breakfast and that's it

I want to drive but I'm afraid

I spend almost an hour in the bathroom (I like the solitude)

I'm the opposite of Claustrophobia, I LOVE small places

I want to live in the forest

I am terrified of my family

When I'm sleeping, my legs cannot be close to each other (gotta do that Mario jump)

I will only buy shoes if I really need them

I buy things that make me happy (lots of money, gone...)

"If it still works, don't buy a new one." Is something I say for anything

Will look like a slut if I'm feeling it and then regret it later

I can whistle inwards

I avoid eye contact when talking to people because I feel awkward

I say "Drawl" and "Drawling" instead of "Draw" and "Drawing"

Make a Texan joke or stereotype and I will love it (yeehaw pardner)

Accents are AMAZING

I've made friends online and trust them with everything and love them to pieces

I want to travel and see my internet friends

I stopped biting my nails

I want to animate, but: I can't find the right batteries for my pen, I lost my pen, and my screen is messed up and hardly recognizes my pen

I will not judge you

I have a collection of bottle caps (ready for a fallout baby)

I cry easily

I will scream if I'm excited

My favorite song is "1/4" by VocaCircus/CircusP

I hate realism. (Let me draw how I WANT.)

My real personality? I don't know her

I have 1,945 songs

I live in the past and will not move on

Clay is REALLY GOOD

I lose track of what I'm talking about and switch left and right

I might forget I've said or showed you something and will say it or show it again

Sometimes I see small white lines that crawl around my eyes and then they disappear (it's like looking down at sugar ants)

I have missed out of really good shows, like Invader Zim, because I thought I wouldn't like it, them I'm like, "Hey, that looks pretty cool actually" and then it stops airing.

I have loads of freckles on my face and arms

My hair is curly, but since it's short, you can't really see it

I have a good singing voice

I LOVE pools and water parks

I've always wanted to learn an instrument, but decided drawing and writing was right for me

Hockey is my favorite sport (got that Canadian heart baby)

I've only seen snow twice (Texas sucks.)

My favorite character is Russia from Hetalia (I LOVE THAT BOY SO MUCH)

I want to learn a different language, but Jesus fuck, that takes so much effort

I'm patience

I love puzzle games

My favorite number is 3

I wear oversized shirts and jackets

I do really well in school until I gain the teacher's trust, and then do nothing for the rest of the year because they know I'll do it

I love science

I despise math

All of my oc's are a piece of me, merge them together and you get me

I have dark circles that won't go away

Fluffy things are GREAT

Soft things are BEAUTIFUL

I love galaxies

And that's all I can think of! Hope you liked learning about me!

#this was surprisingly fun #long post #very long post #hersh talks

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