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Athena gets whatever she wants. Even my jacket if she鈥檚 chilly
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Walking the coolest dogs in the world, meet Nipsey and Loki
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Organizing my education materials and baby boy is being the most helpful, obviously. 馃グ
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does anyone find it hard to breathe when the one they love most forever rests? does the world go silent as the go? does your sight go blurry onces their gone.
everything feels like a hazy memory but i remember it so clear. its like diving into deep waters and being able to see your hands but the deeper you go everything goes dark and you can only see the small lighting from the surface.
she was sick. it felt like months but i think it was a few weeks. it took her so fast. she was big, overweight actually. i called her my fat girl, my baby, my diamond. i always joked about how similar we were and how we both needed to loose weight. we both did for a little bit.. it was a month later after we came back from vacation. she got fat again then got sick. i thought it was just a cold and gave her love and good food. i left and came back.. she got worse. it didnt stop. once i found out she had a 50/50 chance i was scared. i avoided her so i couldnt face the reality that the one i cared for most was slipping from my grasp. i spent time with her very few times. if a knew it was going to end the way it did i would have dropped everything and soak up ever second and moment.
my baby is gone now. i held her and watched her die. i tried so hard not to cry. i did. when i saw her that day and the moment she took her last breath. i watched it happen. death is envitable. you and everyone you know cant escape it. not your mom, not your dad, not you pet cat casper, or your weird rare mixed dog max.
my heart is heavy. i feel like a whale is laying on my chest. talking about her makes me want to scream and cry. it makes me want to punch death and life in the face then run them over a hundred billion times then set them on fire and watch them burn. but i cant. i can only try to heal. even if i dont want to laugh or have fun or eat or sleep or do anything without her. why is life and death so cruel? why couldnt she live forever?
why us? why me? why at all? make it stop.. please make it stop.
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