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thatdeadaquarius · 6 days

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Soon.

☆

With a puzzled squint, you could see the adeptus was running over what you said in his mind, trying to parse out the meaning. Xiao then threw his head up out of his slight bow, almost glaring at you, “There is no task nor person more important than guarding you, my Lord. I will stand guard, worry not about my state.”

Nodding to you, he abruptly turned on his heel to shift to the side of the entrance to the mansion, his spear tall and ready. You’d have twitched a smile at him if you could, as you're sure he’s gotten a little more comfortable with you than when you first officially met. You’re also sure from meeting Zhongli just once in person that he’d have a small heart attack if he saw some of Xiao’s informal behavior.

But you’re glad he hasn’t, the more relaxed they are, especially considering your form, the better.

You duck inside, though the ceilings are so raised that you don’t have to go that low surprisingly. Huh, it was nice to be anticipated in a building usually sized for human heights. Wow. You’ve really reached the point of casually calling yourself inhuman.

…well, to be real with yourself right now, it might actually help to get more accustomed to that in case you’re never human again.

You also put that possibility back into the vault at the back of your mind.

☆

HEY I live, again,

I had a big life update what with my sib graduating grad school (getting their masters degree) at the same time we both moved like 2 states over from our home state 😅

and unfortunately, i wasnt able to get my monster of a sequel out in time to post it remotely to get it out to you guys while i was afk

(as i havent had wifi/free time consistently in like 2-3 weeks)

which, phew, im finally able to be settled in one place enough to write again, and have enough time in the day to not be dealing wiht my apartment to write ToT

i hope you guys arent too mad at me! (or have forgotten me?? sobs)

also.

i hear Natlan's coming out. 👀

I don't think it'll be out before i post the full (3 chapters total planned) sequel, but just in case, disclaimer-

🪄I am not to be held liable for not writing about Natlan bc it wasnt out yet woooo🪄

anyway, yeah its also taking a bit bc i wanna post the completed thing all in one go, over the course of like 3 days or so, that way u guys can actually look forward to the next little chapter in a reasonable amount of time lmao

well yknow, if anyones still reading this or my blog lol

happy summer you guys! I hope u all are having a good one so far, esp those of you in school, heart going out to yall fr <33

Catch you on the flip side (ao3 side?)✌️

Safe Travels,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko / @silvers-tongue

@karmascreeches / @yomilyy / @0rah-s / @idontknowwhatimdoingbutweball / @blackstar-gazer / @voidsgarden / @a-gay-piece-of-paper / @oxyotl / @thefirstonetoeverlikemeback / @kurayamioterasu / @randompersoninyourworld / @byakuren100 / @lemonade7255

#genshin sagau #genshin isekai #sagau #genshin imagines #gender neutral reader #genshin x reader #aqua rambles #aqua crumbs #tis the official tag now for little snippets of writings of wips #god whenever i write eldritch au it always turns out like 2x the word count sorry guys /gen #:')#otherwise this would be out by now ffs #sagau eldritch au #sagau eldritch god reader

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ppnuggiex · 10 months

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HIHII i see yoy dont have obey me content yet,, want me 2 change that😼😼 HOPE IM NOT DISTURBING U OR ANUTHINGF AND ALSO HOPE URE HAVING A NICE SUMMERR

but anywayy could i req hcs(and maybe a small scenario🙇‍♀️) of solomon and simeon(MAYBE DIAVOLO AND BARBATOS IF U WONT MIND,, IDM IF U DONT THO HUHU) with an insomniac/sleepy s/o that accidentally slept over at their place😻 IM SORRY IF U DONT UNDERSTAND,, BUT AS IN THEY WERE INVITED TO THEIR ROOM BUT COULDNT HOLD BACK FROM SLEEPING SINCE THEY HAVENT SLEPT😞😞

sorrei 4 making this so long,,im chatty asf for an introvert omg😭😭 BUT YEYESY THAT'S ALL🤍🤍 LOVE UR WORK VHAI VHAI🙇‍♀️

　　　　　　OBEY ME x gn reader

　　　　『　solomon ,, simeon ,, diavolo ,, barbatos ,, gender neutral reader 』

　　-> side characters w/ sleepy or insomniac s/o

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, comfort

　　— HIII OMG TYSM ♥️♥️♥️ glad to have my first obey me ask :) i am having a great summer 💪💪 though i start school next week 😭😭 so not too happy about that ,, tysm for requesting though :D i did all of them 😈😈 and its alr !! no worries abt being chatty 😝 i dont mind it one bit !! heres the request tho :) hope you enjoy <3

- solomon

| • he knows how the brothers run you ragged ,, and so he doesnt mind if you happen to fall asleep whilst staying over with him

| • if anything ,, it gives him an excuse to stay with you longer ,, stealing a few extra hours ,, and if one of the brothers do call he can say youre asleep

| • solomon did call you over so he can teach you more about a certain spell you had questions about

| • he'd pick you up from where you had fallen asleep and take you to his room ,, placing you under the covers so you'd be comfortable and warm at least

| • he'll place a kiss to your head and then go to the kitchen and make you something ,, until simeon stops him

- simeon

| • he wouldnt mind one bit if you happened to fall asleep ,, hes thankful for it really ,, since he knows how hard you work and how little time you get to yourself

| • he just wants you to be happy and healthy ,, and being well rested goes with that

| • simeon would make sure that youre comfortable ,, put a blanket over you and a pillow under your head

| • whilst your sleeping he makes you a little snack for you when you wake up ,, so you can have something to enjoy and refill your energy with

- diavolo

| • he had finally gotten some free time with his tight schedule and didnt waste a moment before he invited you over to watch some movies from the human world he's been interested in watching

| • barbatos helped to make popcorn and other snacks for you both ,, and even gave diavolo a quick tutorial how to use the remote and the tv 💀💀

| • diavolo isnt too upset that you fell asleep halfway through the movie though ,, hes mostly upset you havent been able to take care of yourself and in result its made you lose sleep

| • he keeps you under the cover and all cuddle up though ,, pressing many kisses to your head as he finishes up the movie

| • he might also nap with you when he gets a little too cozy

- barbatos

| • he already knew how tired you were before he invited you over ,, really it was the whole reason he did

| • having a little free time to himself for a bit ,, after finishing his duties for the hour that is ,, he invited you over with the intention of you sleeping

| • he made a special tea blend that increases melatonin and is meant to put people to sleep or make them drowsy ,, really just in general help them sleep

| • he'll coax you over to his bed and let you sleep whilst he finishes his duties for the upcoming hour

| • barbatos also has a few treats left out for you on the bedside table ,, with a spotch of tea to help awaken you and restore your energy

#obey me x reader #obey me #☁️.obey me #🐑.obey me #🐑.solomon #🐑.barbatos #🐑.simeon #🐑.diavolo #barbatos x reader #obey me barbatos #simeon x reader #obey me simeon #solomon x reader #obey me solomon #diavolo x reader #obey me diavolo

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machineheraldandy · 5 months

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RETROFANG: talking about the ship

Xina Kwan x Miguel o’hara

For the 1992-1995 spiderman 2099 comics, and the world of tomorrow 2099 comics that followed.

Welcome back to me rambling in a way that probably doesn’t make sense

Miguel x Xina is one of my comfort ships, something I love, it’s flawed, but beautiful, it tells a story that the writers no longer want to show which is upsetting, it’s flawed loved of two people who care for each other deeply but cannot bring themself to be together, one is self destructive, while one seeks for ways to help. A relationship to its core doomed to fail.

The first time we ever see Xina is when she is that of what we can assume to be around 12-13, both her and Miguel were young students attending school together, two people that would later stick together and not befriend anyone else that we can see, and from the very starts it’s love at first sight for Miguel, you can see with the way it’s drawn to the plot that falls that Miguel falls instantly In love, and it can be argued that Xina also fell in love, or at least let Miguel flirt without being uncomfortable. He gives her a glance, and turns his head to follow her as she does the same before they officially talk.

Later on it’s straight away to flirting, asking to go to the pool, a possible sign of trying to get what a child may consider a date in a way. They spend the rest of their school years friends, and helping each other, it appears that even if both In love, they decided to take it slow, become friends, then best friends, then lovers, a way to build up a healthy and trusting relationship, a relationship that shows Miguel waited years to be with Xina, waited years for her.

This is what I consider deep love, a love that movie, craved but also feared, a love he had to destroy in order to destroy himself

The next time we see Miguel with Xina is when he is moving into his alchemax apartment (it appears), which due to the way we assume Xina is, and how she is in general, even if she went to an Alchemax school, she doesn’t really like Alchemax, yet would do things in support of Miguel working there, she saw flaws in his design and yet hang on, because she loved him, it’s then hinted that they of course did it, but it also shows one of Miguel’s biggest flaws when it comes to Xina, he loves her, but waits too long to learn about her. In later times he learns what she likes, what she does, but here it’s shown that he didn’t even known his best friend had gotten a tattoo of her favourite real life person, something he would have known because they are seen to be best friends that stick together.

Which brings up the issue and possibly why their relationship ended so soon, yes Miguel definitely found Dana attractive, and was emotionally cheating in front of Xina, but at his core he wasn’t ready to be a good partner, he wasn’t ready for a healthy commitment, he couldn’t even properly care for what Xina loved, even after knowing her since they were basically pre-teens. Miguel was not a good man at this time, he’s he waited for Xina for years, but he was too much of a bad person to hold onto her after finally getting her,

You also take into consideration that he is self destructive, he loves Xina more than anything and therefore he had to destroy it fast, he had to find another fast to destroy what he had, he had waited years for a woman, he has her, now he has to get rid of her in a way she will never want him back, how does he do that? Cheating. Emotionally first, and then physically.

When we end up seeing them again it’s because LYLA is broken, LYLA who resembled Xina in the way of it being based off of her tattoo, Miguel doesn’t care for Marilyn Monroe herself, he cares for the fact she is xinas tattoo, hence him only now caring for xina’s interests, caring too late. He becomes desperate to fix her because she is in his way a way to be close to Xina without havent to be near her, he loves Xina, but he can’t return, he messed it up too much on purpose. Though that ends fast as he soon learns that the best person to go to, to fix LYLA is Xina, which could possibly also be seen as an excuse to see Xina again. Once let in the first thing he does is go to her bedroom, to remember the old times, to live in the past, the past he craves but can’t get anymore.

You also see that Xina who is still single and assumed to have stayed single after Miguel, still loves and misses him, her bedside photo is them together. She loves him, she wants him, but she hates him as of now.

Within this time we also see Jack, Xinas Android, Miguel mistakes him for a partner, and seems to be almost jealous, upset. More signs he still loves her even if engaged to Dana, you also see Xina making it clear she doesn’t want him there and hates him, but she doesn’t kick him out, and it’s clear as much as she was uncomfortable, she cared enough to listen, cared enough to help, and of course we know this was going to happen, as even if she claims she just wanted to see him “crawling back” as a joke, it’s clear from the photo in her room, that she wanted him back deeply.

When she talks to Miguel many things are clear, one she is lying about things and two she is desperate to be the one he needs the most, even if she doesn’t want to make that clear.

She lies when talking about why they dated she claims it’s because she felt sorry for Miguel, but once again her photo in her room proves that wrong, along side the fact that she caught Miguel cheating as she came home early to be with him and to make him happy, she deeply cared for him, it was never about his dad, it was always about their love.

You also see how she is almost trying to push him away and is mocking his fiancé, Miguel doesn’t stop her, almost as if he wants her to insult Dana, because truthfully he doesn’t care for Dana the way he should, he cares for her as he loves her as she is what he considered dumb, someone that can’t question him, someone that blindly follows. Yet he sees Xina as smart, independent, and important to him, he loves that about her, yet is also scared about that. Because it means she can help him see his errors, and he doesn’t want to be shown, he wants to remain blind

Next one I want to talk about is this comic panel, you see that Miguel is finally caring for her interests, he is taking the time to get her real old things such as a gumball machine, because he knows she loves it, he is caring enough finally, he knows what she likes, what she want, why she wants it, he cared for her deeply and after years is finally showing it. Only now

next bit in this panel Miguel mentions the fact he was going to end it, he directly tells Xina he is planning to end it in a way, and Xina instead of making a joke, instead of being her nasty self she has been a few times, instead asks him to join her on a trip. Alone. She cares for him enough that she is literally wanting to spend time alone with him as a way to possibly keep him alive but to also reconnect, something that shows her deep love for him, and deep need for him, and also just the fact she is a great friend. These are two people stuck in a bad world they suffer in that still care for each other deeply.

(NO image as I don’t feel comfortable with that)

SA mention

I am bringing up a scene we end up seeing soon into their trip together, a flashback to Kron attempting to harm Xina, this is poorly written and used as a way to show Miguel and Leon’s hate for each other, they directly use Xina getting SA’ED as a way to push two boys fighting. This is no doubt disgusting writing.

But in the sight of this being about Miguel and Xina it has to be bought up in the way that Xina would put himself in danger, and put his family at risk, risk being abused by George, risk loosing everything, risk possibly even being killed by George, to keep Xina safe, he before now refused to fight back, refused to lay a finger on Kron as he was scared for himself and his family. He was frightened, yet he risked it all for Xina. He did at a point nearly bail on Xina, he was scared the worse would happen to him, but in the end he Kepler her. He kept her safe, even if it was poorly written and should have been shown in a different way that didn’t make a man the savour of a woman facing SA

Nor that’s over we get into the venom arc, the arc where Kron as venom attacks Xina and Dana to get to Miguel, something that reveals Miguel’s even deeper connection to Xina, he out of impulse screams for Xina, he is more worried for her, though he is still very worried for Dana, in this he has to save both, he only successfully saves Xina, and Dana passes away, this isn’t used for shipping Xina and Miguel, in fact Xina ends up leaving. This is shown as a way to show their friendship only, they don’t get together, as they both mentally can’t, Miguel lost his fiancé even if he wasn’t the best partner, and Xina had survivors guilt, she hates herself for hating the woman that slept with her boyfriend, a woman who hates her interests (shown by how she hates Gabriel’s retro interests) she so ends up leaving, I can argue that this was the best ending for the comic, until Miguel and Xina returned later. They both weren’t mentally stable, they both yes loved each other, but they would have ruined each other if they tried again.

The next time we see Xina is when she is happy to see Miguel, even slightly seeming to mess around, she cares for Miguel still, and Miguel still cares for her, but she has seemed to move on, she doesn’t care for a relationship, she has a job to do, people to help, and tech to work on, but yet she is still close to Miguel, she still holds onto Miguel, she still in a way loves him, even if as of now that love is platonic, and the same can be said for Miguel, he is trying to find Gabriel, he doesn’t have time for trying to get with Xina,on top of that but they only see each other for what can be assumed to be less than 24/7’S, they aren’t ready to try again, it’s too quick, and the story handles that well, it doesn’t make them a couple, it makes them friends, who still may have feelings for each other.

In the end they end up leaving, Xina just had her best friend did, and Miguel still needs to find Gabriel, they never end up together, from there on Xina stops showing up, she doesn’t appear in canon at all, she is gone from Miguel’s life, if we don’t count time storm a non canon story; it has been nearly I believe 27 years since she was last since.

It is a bitter sweet ending to her story, and she doesn’t get seen again, but it’s also a bittersweet ending to Miguel’s orginal love life for 2099, after that they force him into Peter Parker’s love interests within stories, or he gets tempest from the past, not his time, which I still love, she just isn’t from comics I read. For the year 2099, for the future Miguel has no life without Xina, he is stuck literally and metaphorically in the past.

I would love to Xina come back, she is considered Miguel’s MJ, the endgame, the person he loves more than anything, and really when you see the writing, when you see what was done, that is completely true, it was written that they were doomed lovers, but they could easily become good partners with time and effort, and if Miguel stops being self destructive

In the end they didn’t work due to Miguel’s self harm, and due to the fact Xina wouldn’t deal with what which is good for her. But if Miguel gets therapy…maybe. They could work.

Over all good doomed lover plot, painful for everyone that wanted them together forever such as myself

But in a non canon comic when Miguel is mentally more stable, him and her are married, and ended up growing old together :)

#Xina Kwan #Miguel o’hara #spiderman 2099 #world of tomorrow #world of tomorrow 2099 #Xina Kwan 2099 #spiderman 2099 1992 #Retrofang #xinamiguel #xinamig #analysis #talk #rambling #doomed lovers #they could be not doomed if Miguel got therapy

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nd-babblinggoblinfromthevoid · 1 month

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I wish that autism wasn't so heavily looked down upon/ignored/disrespected when I was growing up.

I was a "devil child", "handful", "problem".

When in reality if even minute changes were made in my environment and how my own family interacted with me, I would have flourished so much more.

I heavily stimmed using music. The repetitive beats and heavy bass was my thing. So when my mom wanted to punish me for something, one of the first things she'd do was take away my ipod/mp3 whatever I had. WORST thing was when she ONLY took my (very specific) headphones.

To her, it was taking away something fun. A luxury item. A toy basically.

But to me, it was taking away a very heavily ingrained stim that I NEEDED to do, and could not do without very specific criteria (specific headphones and a specific playlist/style of music)

So of course I would become horribly disregulated. Which I'd then have to attempt to mask/or recluse to avoid her so she wouldn't see how bad it unraveled me.

Because to her, being disregulated/unraveled was "acting up", "catching an attitude", "being disrespectful/rude".

Gods. Looking back I truly hate how she did me wrong in that way. Not just my stim but EVERYTHING. All my needs were either dismissed or half-met.

She is one of those people who thinks sure adhd/autism exists but not in HER family. Not in HER children. She even tried to blame it on the father of her children and it couldn't possibly have had anything to do with her.

..... we not only ALL have different fathers, but after observing both memories of her and her now, she is ALSO autistic and in total denial.

I definitely still harbor resentment because of that. She had me "evaluated". Once. At a time where they still heavily leaned on the male criteria for adhd, and autism wasnt really addressed/acknowledged unless it was severely debilitating. But also, by the time she had me evaluated, I'd already spent a few years (unknowingly) masking due to peers and family creating that need. So the conclusion was "there MIGHT be something divergent about her but we couldnt say for sure at this time" and she took that as "nope she's good, just a problem child. Carryon." Never again to be addressed.

She barely acknowledged that one of my brothers (previously a sister) was diagnosed adhd.

She only acknowledged another brother's adhd&autism diagnosis because the school he went to was very accommodating and insisted that he be evaluated and guess what.

Once he was diagnosed, and they rearranged his class schedules to fit his needs, he did a 180 and graduated top of his class. THRIVED. I both LOVE that he got that and HATE that I never did. I barely got through school.

It wasn't for lack of love of learning. I just, learned different, but was ALSO heavily overloaded with how crammed my courses were. I always wonder if I'd gotten the same accommodations, would I have thrived? Would school have been a drastically different/positive experience/memory for me? I'll never know. Because my mother was so against the idea that anything was divergent about me and absolutely mentally stuffed me into her little idea of an ideal neurotypical child that I never had a chance...

Now that I know I'm also AuDHD, like most of my siblings and even an aunt, I feel validated. I had seen vlogs and blogs about people more and more coming out about how they handle life and their coping skills and hacks theyve learned and after starting to apply those to myself... gods I've improved so much.

Don't get me wrong, I still struggle. But now knowing what issues are and how to cope and get around things, I'm a lot better off.

This is only ONE reason of several why my relationship with my mother has gone sour. What's sad is she doesn't really realize it yet? I havent been able to compose myself enough to have THE CHAT.

About how she hurt me a lot. Intentional or not. (Like not knowing taking away my music was taking away a stim) I don't know how to have this chat. Tbh I thought about writing a longass letter. Because in the past whenever she's been confronted about anything she's done wrong, she spirals into defense mode and wont even entertain the conversation beyond that point and you get... nowhere.

So maybe in person the bulk of the talk wont happen. I feel like. I need to hand her a letter. Have her read it. And maybe have a succinct chat before parting ways.

Because I wanted to be close to her for so long, that I either didn't realize or knowingly ignored her problem behaviors and looking back... she just... gods that's a whole other post for the future....

If you've read this far thank you. If you've had similar familial experiences, lmk (if you're comfy)

I just....... *sigh*.... yep.

#vent post #vent #long vent post #long post #audhd #adhd #autism #neurodivergence #childhood #neurospicy #neurospicy childhood #neurodivergent childhood #stim #heartbreak #family issues

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cat-126 · 2 years

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>Hard to Love* ੈ✩‧₊˚

ʚĭɞೃ; Part 2: Is this guy serious..?

Summary: Y/N is in their Junior year taking sciences, and has been elected as the Class Procter for the current year, as Class Procter she must fullfill certain objectives, but what happens when she runs into someone who claims to know her from her past?

Warning: Contains swearing.

Story Notes: Gouba is suppose to be Xianglings younger brother, Scaramouche is a part of childes friend group.

♡> prev here next <♡

;The chatter of other students filled the room. Childe and his friend group was loud like always, typical Highschool guys. Break was about to begin, but luckily you and your friends had the same class prior to break. Sitting on the right side in the back of the class room with your friends, you sat quietly listening to them talking while doing your Chemistry homework.

"And I kid you not...she looked at me NOT ONCE...BUT TWICE!"

'Hutao really likes her..'

"SHE WANTS YOU..for real."

"or maybe she was looking at you because you had something on your face... "

"Haha! Let Tao be delusional, Chongyun."

"I AM NOT DELUSIONAL IT'S THE TR-"

"Ehm." Ah, it was Mr. Zhongli

"Ms Tao, you are quite loud I would appreciate it if you were to..tone it down a bit" the whole class was looking towards your group, embarassing.

"Ms L/N. Would you please come to my desk for a moment? I need to discuss something with you."

'Shit. I hope it's not about my Geography test..'

Walking nervously to his desk, you looked back to see your friends giving you thumbs up and hearts; if you weren't embarrassed before, you were now.

"You are well aware that you are our class procter, aren't you?"

"Yes ,sir."

"Ah well, I hope you remember what I requested you to do yesterday."

"You wanted me to show the new kid around?"

"Good to hear you remembered, have you gotten to that yet?"

"No sir.."

"Well, you have until after break, please come to me once you are done, you may return to your seat now" As much as I enjoy playing the role of class procter, I'm too shy to approach people I barely know.

"Y/n! enlighten us, what did Mr. Zhongli say to you?"

"Is he removing you from the class procter role?"

"No, he is not removing me yun, he wants me to show the new kid around but i'm way too nervous to talk to people i just met.."

"Ayaya.. typical y/n, you havent changed one bit since middle school."

"Tao!! please don't remind me of myself from back then!"

"Haha, its okay im sure one of us will be free to accompany you, but let me tell you this..I will not be free, I have club meetings to attend, sorry.."

"It's okay Xingqui, Tao, Yun, Xiangling? what about you three?"

"Sorry!! I promised Yanfei that I would meet up with her at the library.."

"Err..I have a Computer Science test.."

"I have to take care of Guoba!!"

'Ah..so I really have to do this alone now..'It's okay Y/N you're old enough to do these baby things on your own. It will be okay!'

"Oh..it's okay, ill manage on my own! As a matter of fact"

You stood from your seat

"Ill go talk to him right now! and tell him to meet me infront of the lockers outside the classroom."

"Ah..are you sure tha-"

"Well we cant stop her now shes already on her way."

"Lets hope she dosen't embarass herself.."

Walking to his seat with false confidence you were about to lightly tap his shoulder, but before you could.

"Y/NNN HIIII" Childe.

The rest of the group greeted you as well, you were quite good friends with them. "Hello Childe...Hi guys!" you said Childes name with a bit of bitterness, obviously as a joke.

"Haha, what brings you here?"

"Just needa talk to Scaramouche, not much"

"Ooo-"

"Don't"

"Tch dammit".

"What do you want?" he said blankly

"Oh uhm, im Y/N , the class procter Mr. Zhongli told me to show you around and help you with the school schedual and things, could you meet me during break near the lockers?"

He suddenly, yet slowly with a bit of confusion looked at you,your friends in the back, and, then his. Both groups were teasingly throwing fists, hearts, and, thumbs ups in the air silently cheering the two of you. All that work just to embarass the both of you.

His confused expression quickly went away as he heard your words, and was replaced with a more approachable and softer face. "Hah..Did he really say that?" he said while looking at your face with a smug look.

"...Yes. Is there a problem?" 'If he can be sassy so can I',

"Are you sure you're the class procter? You dont seem very procter like to me.." he spoke very casually with a chuckle.

"Excuse me?"

"Haha! ahh.. you really don't recognize me do you?" 'is he..fucking with me? and why is he smiling like that, creep.'

"No..? Am I suppose to?" 'Seriously , who is this guy?'

"Wow, personality wise you really haven't changed one bit N/N haha, talk to me once you remember who I am." 'how did he know that nickname, hell not even my friends know about it..'

He gave you a harsh flick on your forehead, looked back at his notebook and continued his work.

From the corner of your eye you could see Childe and Kaeya hitting each other and whispering, they seemed quite excited...

With your arms crossed, confused you spoke again "Uhm.... So is that a yes or no to meeting me at the lockers?"

He looks back at you with a amused face "Fine ill meet you there, your friends looked quite offended, better go to 'em"

"Oh, yea ill see you later i guess..."

Making your way back to your seat with a confused look, you could hear Scaramouchs' friends teasing him.

Then you saw your friends faces.

They looked almost offended? Shocked? Baffled?

"Y/N..."

"No fuckin way."

"DO YOU KNOW EACH OTHER?!"

"Tao shhh.." you spoke while calmly sitting down

"Ah...well what happened..?"

As soon as you told them they started taking guesses as to who could it be, who was it that laid their flithy hands on their Y/N..the audacity.

"How dare he act so frank with you" Xiangling said obviously as a joke, but she acted as if he commited a crime.

"Well break is about to start" Chongyun stood up with his Computer Science notes.

"Good luck on your date"

"He is not my date!"

"Sure.."

Xingqui stood up too following the boy "Well bye bye N/N good luck!!"

Slowly Hutao and Xiangling left too, leaving you on your own.

'I guess ill just go to the lockers and wait for him..'

A/N: (sorry if there are any mistakes) text like this -> 'i wanna kms' is like y/ns thoughts ? like inner dialouge ykk😘😘 anyways omg ?!?!1?1?1 so hot so mysterious scara wowowowow😍😍 i wonder whar will happen next part?!!!!!1!1!1! 🥺🥺🥺🥺 yea updates will be on the weekends yk school n stuff gotta study hard for money💖💖 if that dosent work i cqn be a sugar baby its ok😊😊

ALSO. WTFF?!?!???111 I DIDNT EXPECT LIKE YK SM ATTENTION , THIS IS MY FIRST FIC I HOPE IM DOING GOOD SO FAR THANK U BABES LOVEE YOUU ALL😭😭💖💖 also hi bestie yk who u r THEY HELPED ME LIKE CHECK IF FAN FIC THINGS LOOK ALR ty bestie💖

#genshin smau #genshin headcanons #genshin impact fluff #genshin scenarios #genshin fanfic #genshin imagines #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche smau #scaramouche #cymil ♡#genshin drabbles

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floshav · 1 year

Text

are you alright? pt.2

this is a continuation to pt 1 so go check it out if u havent!! i mean obv or else this wont make sense

nerdy!draco but he's cool too

fluff

angst

ps the pic is so cute

fem!reader x draco

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Snapes eyes were fixated on y/n's the whole time with just a few glares shot back at malfoy.

"so.... care to explain..?" snape slured while tucking both his pale arms conspicuously behind his back.

"Nothing sir. I was just bringing y/n back to her dorm for misbehaving." Draco studiously said with his hand still in y/n's yet the grip was harder this time, as if he was trying to show snape some sort of authority.

"misbehaving... misbehaving for what exactly?" Snape inquired while his eyes were now fixed on both their hands.

"for... uh- uhm needing to.. use the washroom this late at night." Draco stupidly spat out while stuttering over each word

"and why exactly would she need escorting back just for using the.... washroom?" snape asked cynically while his jaw tensed up

"B-because i accidently.. stumbled my way to the boys washroom you see.... and i dont think draco and i have an established friendship for him to trust me enough to get back to my dorms. Thats why Proffesor." y/n reckleslly and mindlessly said with wide eyes.

"Ah-ah yes! that's right! I caught her near the boys washroom y-yes." draco stammered while looking y/n right in the eyes with a cartoonish manner.

"i see.... i trust you will escort her back in no time draco. I shall see myself out... And... mrs..? y/n was it? if you ever see yourself 'stumbling' into places where you do not belong again.. you shall see yourself cleaning my potions lab after school hours." Snape dragged before finally seeing himself out in a blink of an eye.

"What. the. hell. Why did you get all the praise?! while i was left in the dirt!! to hell with this school i tell you." y/n heatedly said now letting draco's grasp leave hers.

A slight yet not so visible smirk curled upon draco's face leaving him now with a smug yet 'attractive' look which would appeal to any girl except y/n. Right? right.

"Look, if youre so upset about it i can give you all the praise in the world you know. Just gotta ask." Draco conceitedly said while his lips were still caught in a smirk.

By this time, y/n's face had probably gotten a deep rush of red like the first night of any girls period. Luckily for her, the hallway was pitch black since snape left.

"Oh shut up malfoy , i can smell your... whats that? oh yea, non existent charm from a mile away. So where were you dragging me anyway?" Y/n quickly projected while abruptly changing the subject.

"Here." And with those words.. or should i say one word, draco began to drag y/n by the wrist all over again into a direction still unbeknownst.

Before y/n could ask why or where, they found themselves infront of the newly prepared letter week board. The board contained every year 9th, 10th and 11's names neatly stapled onto a basket where the letters would get exchanged in.

"so... would you like to get some revenge or nah." Draco cooly said while whipping his arm around her shoulder smoothly.

"what do you mean? we're infront of a... board. how exactl-" once again she was cut off by his so needed explanation.

"You see Darcy's name? Right there, Above yours. i still remember that time her basket was so overfilled with letters that one somehow slipped into yours. The look of pure joy that was crushed almost immedietly was quite entertaining i must sa-" before he could finish that sentence y/n hit his shoulder hard enough to shut him up.

"speak of that again, and i. will. end. you." Y/n said with zero remorse.

"getting ended by you wouldnt be TOO bad... okay ill stop." draco said with a slight chuckle at how mad she looked.

"so whats the plan?" She now asked with curious eyes.

"Im going to put a fake confession in there by yours truly, draco lucius malfoy. Then... ill ask her to meet up at the astronomy tower but just stand her up anyway." Draco said coldly with no signs of disgust for the actions just mentioned.

"isnt that... a bit too mean. I would be kinda upset if the love of my life DEFINITELY not draco lucius malfoy, just stood me up." y/n said with slight hessitation laced through her words.

"Look. Its either this or you never get the revenge you so very deserve." he said now facing her, dead in the eyes.

"Okay.. fine. But if anyone asks, this was 500 percent your idea." She now said with less hessitation before.

The letter:

------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Darcy sinclair

Hello darcy. My apologies for never hitting you up before, i guess i just hadn't had the brains to realise what i truly wanted was right in front of me. Yes. You. Thats what i want. Meet me at the astronomy tower tonight, to mark your very first day of letter week. Wear something nice.

draco

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"This is going to end terriby. I can already feel it creeping up on me." She said with regret flowing through her eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That marks the end of pt 2!! only 865 words tho.. so kinda short but whatever. ill have part 3 out soon if this does well too!! the last part got like 8 notes, so i was kinda shocked it even got any traction at all... leading me to writing this lolll THANK YOU THO!

#draco x reader #draco #dracomalfoy #hogwarts #harrypotter #fanfic #harry potter fanfic #draco x y/n #draco fanfiction #angst #fluff #oneshot #fanfiction #hp fic

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kitakami-zorua-kin · 4 months

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Hi! My name's Russet, I'm from Kitakami, and I'm currently attending Blueberry Academy! I'm part of Drayton's Elite Trial in the BB League! :D Or. At least... I am for my Drayton...? There seems to be a lot of them floating around. I don't think my Drayton is on Rotomblr, though it does seem like he'd fit in well...

My full team is: Autumn the Shiny Dipplin Hydrapple ♂ Polar the Arctibax ♂ Winter the Alolan Ninetales ♀ Taiga the Abomasnow ♀ Spring the Altaria ♀ Summer the Shiny Larvesta ♀ Tundra the Frosmoth ♂ Though I only use Winter and Taiga for any official Elite Trial Battles, the others are still important members of my team! :D I'm selectively mute and with the red-and-black colors, I get a lot of people assuming I'm a Zorua! I'm not, but Zorua are cool so I don't mind too terribly much :3 Oh! I have a younger brother and an older sister, both who are also at Blueberry Academy, but neither of them are interested in Rotomblr (well. my versions, at least, as far as I know...). Pelipper Mail+Unmail+Malice: On Sentient/Sapient Pokemon: Allowed Legendary/Mythical Pokemon: Allowed Musharna Mail+Malice: On Magic Anons: Off OOC Info under the cut

I've made. Another Pokemon IRL blog for another OC because my friends are terrible influences on my poor impulse control. Anyways, hi, I'm Azure, I follow from @/anxiousazure and I also run @/unovan-artist because I have many OCs and I've been spinning Russet around way too much lately. If you didn't pick up on it, Russet is an OC sibling for Carmine and Kieran, specifically, their middle brother who tends to fade into the background. edit: there's another blog. @/kitakami-specter yes it is exactly who you think it is. also now @/sinnohs-eve as well, because i wanted someone on the main bba universe. :3

i mod have really bad social anxiety so if i havent answered or interacted. i am simply scared. russet is extroverted but i am not i am very easily intimidated and my brain will continuously go "but what if there's an unspoken Rule you're breaking" and paralyze me.

Russet is a minor but I haven't specified his age - just that he's between his two siblings - and I, blog runner, am an adult. If this is not chill with you, don't interact! That said, I won't really deal with anything more than flirting with Russet and even then he won't get it half the time (sheltered autistic boy, romance flies right over his head unless you spell it out for him <3).

Russet is somewhere post Teal Mask in the timeline sense - Drayton's back on the E4, after all - but does not know what went down in Kitakami (he was originally supposed to go with his siblings, but came down sick last minute, and ended up staying at school instead. Neither of his siblings informed him of what went down in Kitakami - Kieran assuming Russet already knew about the truth around Ogrepon, and Carmine mainly out of guilt) so please absolutely feel free to use that to your advantage :D Russet has been informed about the true Kitakami legend and time has progressed slowly from there. still pre-indigo disc though.

also hey!! if you ever want to have a character (canon or not) in russet's universe!! please feel free too i would love that so much. i would love to have more people to have russet consistently interact with. it would be fun and also silly. and hey! you are always, always, always free to include russet or any of my own OCs in drawings or stories or anything else! just. maybe please tag me because i want to see them. <3

if you see a post colored purple that's drayton on the blog. -blue- with those indicators is superconduct, russet's rotom. red is carmine. ??? is green...? (??? takeover coming. eventually. mod has to plan and schedule things. :3)

MUSE MIXUP MADNESS APRIL SPRITEWORK CREDIT LINK

Full version of the piccrew used for Russet because I haven't gotten around to drawing him yet! and if anyone is interested, the link is here!

#pkmn irl #rotomblr #introductory post #blog info

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namikiheights · 1 year

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hey, asker of the web / light novel differences that was passed over to u the other day, thank u for all the things u brought up. i am curious to hear more about kiritos violence in particular bc that aspect always felt like it was missing smth which definitely checks with the information u gave. his dream sequence and battle w internalized guilt has always interested me but again it just felt like it wasnt quite all there. im also very curious about kyouji and since that seems to be ur area id love to hear u expand. i havent gotten to the phantom bullet lns cos im trying to catch up on progressive first and im a slow reader but the way hes portrayed in the anime just felt so ,,poorly written and overall bad?? like he just completely did a 180 and it never rlly made sense to me, i just assumed his character would be more coherent in the ln and they cut it out of the anime for time or whatever.

Thank you for sending the original ask, and thank you for sending this one!

The other violent thing about web novel Kirito IMO is specifically HOW he killed the Laughing Coffin members in the raid. In the web novel, he mentions that he had sort of… lost grip of what he was doing? I guess? And got really into the fight, thus actually slicing a Laughing Coffin member’s head clean off (not a stance or slash you would take or do if you were only fighting in self defense). He does say his anger and vengeance took over in the light novel, but I think the decapitation in the web novel came from another place in his heart. Perhaps the same place that led him to beat up and steal from his beta tester friend in-game.

As for Kyouji! This boy has gone through so much, changes wise. And, as a Kyouji stan, it is my duty to not hide the monster he used to be.

TW: Mentions of sexual assault, discussion of suicidal characters, suicide attempts, and suicide as a religious and literary trope

The easiest way to put it is this:

For the most part, both Kyoujis are the same. They are nerdy and runty, something that got them bullied. That led them to dropping out of high school, so they are angry of those who seem to have it better. This leads them to make Death Gun, something that both backs them into a corner and yet also gives them an opportunity to attempt shinjuu with Shino (will elaborate what this means later). Now to contrast them a little.

Web novel Kyouji:

-Mocks Sinon when she makes mistakes (laughs in her face)

-Seems to think of Shino as a doll (or, at the very least, gives Shino the idea that he thinks this way of her)

-Is so obsessed with Shino he refuses to talk about her to anyone else because that is how sacred she is to him (that he doesn’t even want her name in other peoples’ mouths!)

-Is partially sexually motivated (remember the scene where he lightly touches a picture of Sinon on his computer? In the web novel, he, uh… does the nasty to it)

-Actually killed someone (he didn’t just play the part of Death Gun in the game)

-Doesn’t feel remorse for doing so

Light novel Kyouji:

-None of that lol 😭

This is what I mean by just a few cut sentences can change a character entirely! Without him being aggressive and ruthless and misogynist and this possessive, he ends up being a good friend who is just a bit whiny sometimes. The removal of his sexuality also makes it so that his motives are entirely religious. It’s still wrong for him to force that on Shino, but I think there is a difference between a delusional boy who doesn’t realize what he’s actually doing and thinks he can save both himself and this girl he cherishes who actively thinks she’s going to Hell… and an asshole boy who is very much attracted to this girl and is using this as an opportunity to force himself on her (which he nearly does, Shino is almost entirely naked by the end of the web novel’s iteration of the scene, but she fights back and then Kirito saves the day).

Wait, hold on! Religious motivation?

Here comes the part where I explain what shinjuu is. Shinjuu means lover’s suicide, in which a couple take their own life together. The religious component is that shinjuu is specifically a Buddhist practice and, within that, a free ticket to Heaven.

Hold on! But Kyouji and Shino aren’t a couple!

They may not be, but they like each other. This is certain in the light novel, and sort of there in the web novel. Shino thinks to herself that she does like Kyouji and want to date him, but simply thinks her trauma would cause too many problems in their relationship. Kyouji knows this and accepts it.

But also probably gives him the idea that this shinjuu thing could actually work.

In Kyouji’s mind, and partially Shino’s, the two of them are fellow tormented souls (Shino with her PTSD, Kyouji just not wanting to be here anymore). With the added layer of Shino thinking she’s going to Hell for having killed someone (real line in the light novel!), shinjuu sounds perfect! And with the religious belief that there’s something after death as well as Kyouji’s own delusional mental state, the gravity of death disappears.

Okay, this sounds plausible. But the word shinjuu is only ever used in the Sachi side story! How do you know this is the intended reading of the murder suicide attempt scene?

Some more context on shinjuu now. It’s actually a trope, having its own subgenre known as shinjuumono (“love suicide story”). It was popularized in theater in the 1700s, when playwright Chikamatsu Monzaemon wrote Sonezaki Shinjuu (The Love Suicides at Sonezaki). The format of shinjuumono is that there are two lovers (usually a merchant and a courtesan) who cannot be together (think Romeo and Juliet), so they decide the only way they can get their happy ending is in Heaven. A motif of the older theatrical shinjuumono is that they would have Buddhist chanting as part of the performance. Very religious indeed.

So, shinjuu is sort of a big deal in the creative world. It makes sense for an author who unabashedly pays tribute to his inspirations to include it. I’ve gone over how Kyouji and Shino’s story is particurly similar to Sonezaki Shinjuu in the past, so I won’t delve too much into it here. The point is that Kyouji’s murder suicide attempt is shinjuu.

Some smaller tidbits that point to that are the placement of Kyouji’s hands during the scene. He puts the syringe on Shino’s neck — not on her side like in the anime or manga, which pisses me off! — which is where the protagonist of the Sonezaki Shinjuu places his knife on his lover. Kyouji’s whole spiel about reincarnating into a better world is also Buddhist, and so is his reassurance that “I’ll carry you all into the mountains where nobody is, and then I’ll follow right after you. So wait for me once you’re there, okay?” The mountains are a place in the afterlife in Buddhism, and this sort of journey he speaks of is often poetically depicted and performed in shinjuumono classics.

But I digress. This is just me trying to make sense of what’s in Kyouji’s head as he does what he does. When it’s just this, without any sexual motives like in the web novel, it paints a more depressing tale rather than one of abuse and fear. But since the anime frames it in a more sexual way (as they always do) and ALSO cuts out Kyouji’s backstory (that he was bullied and extorted for money, that he isn’t doing well in cram school) and makes it seem like Shino never liked him…

Well, it’s almost like they reduced him to a shell of his web novel self instead of adapted his light novel self. He’s no longer a misguided boy in pain (who feels remorse for his actions, so much that he can’t speak at ALL, unlike his web novel counterpart who bragged about killing and only refused to talk about Shino), he’s a one dimensional creepazoid like all the others in the show. It’s a disservice, since the light novel went out of its way to take out the sexual assault whereas most of the other villains didn’t get theirs cut out (it almost seems like Kyouji specifically was edited that way… because they knew the character he COULD be, as opposed to the other villains who were too far gone).

And, man, I’m real sad about that! Because now my favorite character is just a meme, someone people barely remember anything about other than him screaming Shino’s name.

There’s a lot more I can say, but I think this covers a lot of it. I hope this helped you understand him more! If anyone wants to ask clarifying questions, please go ahead! I know it can be confusing to know which Kyouji I’m talking about sometimes, lol…

Thank you for reading!

#sinon #kyouji #kirito #mortale fucile #web novel #meta #sonezaki shinjuu tag #long post #sword art online #shinjuu tag

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cowboycharmac · 11 months

Text

15 questions for 15 mutuals

i would first off like to start by saying if i tagged u and u dont like being tagged please let me knwo i promise itll never happen again. thank you for the tags @23meteorstreet @number-one-hog-hater @movepastit and @translesbianvampire. i feel so special hehehe

were you named after anyone?

nope :) my parents got my deadname from a baby name book and the name i go by is a nickname my friend gave me in 4th grade ^_^

do you have kids?

no but i have some insane baby fever <3 which is basically the same thing. if you think about it

do you use sarcasm a lot?

nope! unless im with my mom :) i use it all the time with her i think its fun to watch her try and figure out if im joking or not. she absolutely hates it <3

what's the first thing you notice about people?

ummm idk i guess clothes? its definitely not their faces hashtag autism swag

what's your eye color?

grey ^_^

scary movies or happy endings?

BOTH <3 i love horror movies but my favourite genre of fanfiction is fix it fics. well third favourite. if i really have to choose then horror movies

any special talents?

im a pretty good singer i think :) not to brag or anything ^_^ other than that idk

what are your hobbies?

well u all already know i write and draw but i also baking and knitting and recently ive gotten into screenprinting :) or back into. ummm whatever

have any pets?

what sports do you play/have you played?

ummm i used to do tennis and track in middle school and in. the years of highschool i attended in person and also as a regular school :) but thats about it to be quite honest. oh also figure skating i dont know if that counts but it did for my duke of ed (unfinished) so here we are

how tall are you?

5'3!!! short kings rise up

favorite subject in school?

classical civ/latin

dream job?

I HAVENT DECIDED YET DONT RUSH ME. either something in illustration or i think medical ethicist would be a fun job for me. very different answers but oh well

@goug @margle @brainfogdennis @season1mac @kod-lyoko and um anyone else who wants to sorry i didnt tag 15 people it just. tagging people makes me abit nervous so lets stick with 5 for now ok :) its ok because theres not even fifteen questions so well who cares

#also if you ARE open to being tagged in things please let me know as well i would literally be so grateful like i said it makes me nervous #i enjoy knowing how people feel about these things :)

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asbestieos · 1 year

Note

we used to be friends, way before, and like, wow, youve gone so far, proud of you

🥹🥹🥹 oh my goodness!! anon if youre who i think you are (i am somewhat confident in my silly hunch), im so happy to know youre still out there even if we dont talk anymore!!! admittedly i have the most terrible memory ever so i barely remember much of our time together (i wish i remembered more!! but as is, i cant even remember the last time i showered lmfao) but since its been such a long time, i hope its ok if i give you a Riley Life Update of the past.. two, three years? <- it feels like it has been longer than that 😭😭

2020!! i graduated!! i enrolled in school! i girlslayed hard! however due to World Events, i cant go to school in person and am relegated to online classes in my room </3 unfortunately im also in the deepest depths of my genshin phase and ran both my own And denver’s acc. sometimes i paid for her acc’s battlepass too it was bad DBDKBFJ

2021! girlslaying starting to fail from burnout and severe depression from being shut in! i passed my first semester exams with flying colors! i failed all but one of my second semester exams. also come january im both afflicted with covid and experiencing a bad bed bug infestation. #girlsuffering. i dropped out in the summer ^_^ this is when the terrible moodswings hit (i thought they were moodswings but as it turns out, i was incredibly emotionally unstable!! more on this later)

2022!! last year oh my gosh! denver and jasper/moth and i started talking about moving in together, which requires me to have money of course. so aprilish i get a job! i work at starbucks! i girlslay REALLY hard. i also start playing ensemble stars (the beginning of my curse……..). come july i had a massive breakdown and almost broke up with denver and our mutual friend group 👍 it was Bad bad.. but things worked out? <- this experience has led me to believe im probably a bpd haver becos of how wildly unstable i am. fun! crasy asf!

moving plans fall through as summer goes by, im still employed at my job, still havent gotten my license yet but it is ok i will get it soon, and come 2023, moving plans are back on!! hopefully will be seen-through ny the time summer comes…

tldr i have bpd, i dropped out and got a job, im gay a shit over idol bot gacha game, and by summer, ill hopefully be moved in with denver!! yeha those are the important updates! for me at least. randys in college now btw!!! in her sophomore year!! shes incredible truly! she lives on campus so i usually only see her once a month or so but shes literally awesome ^_^

very long update post and i made it all about me 💔 theres history between us that ive unfortunately forgotten and im sad that ive forgotten (then again i could always read back, but every time ive tried, ive only cringed at myself like OOGH is that me?? sickening) but im really glad to have gotten this anon!! if youre not the person i think you are thats okay and also i am sorry i assumed UEGEJVFDJF i needed this i think to try and reflect back on. the crazy ass time my newrly three years of adult life has been.. im 21 in july!!! crazy as hell!

i also hope the formatting is ok, i try to break up big paragraphs w/o starting a brand new one for the sake of readability <:] i think i mightbe learned that from you? i dont remember though guwbddjjd.. but i think about you on the occasion as i do with everyone ive ever met ever and im glad to know youre still kicking it like i am.. life is rough a hell 💔

theres not enough words i can say that can make up for not remembering us too well and also for saying and doing hurtful things to you if theres one thing ive not forgotten, its that i was not a very nice person way back when. but i hope now youre in a better place and you have friends who love you just as much as i did and still do!!

i have to go to work but uuwheuehehhehehrhfht thank you for reaching out anon i hope this post was nice to read and feel free to live in my inbox for forever, even if you wanna stay anonymous forever i dont mind! if youre not the person i was thinking of, rest well with the joy that youve given me a moment to reflect on myself euwhhwrh but if you ARE the person i was thinking of. im sorry i hurt you. and thank you!! i love you!! im glad you were a part of my life. i hope your day is good and your tomorrow is better!! live in my inbox if it pleases you!!

EDIT: FROGOR TO SAY IM PROUD OF YOU TOO 👍

#long post #anon #ILL ADD A READMORE LATER AFTER WORK SORRYRYEHJFG

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lostacelonnie · 11 days

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My apologies for taking. So long to respond time literally slipped away from me. I simply thought school festivals were fake & made up. Can confirm snake bites are cool & i hope you can get them. My tattoo wasnt fully healed yet so its now mostly done & i have to return next month to finish it. For real it was raining here last week & now its like. Sunny & nice & im like. Pick a lane weather. The autism sure does affect. A whole lot & i wish it would like. Do less. Yeah sparkle like. Makes seele cracked. Or anyone really. Thanks! I havent maxed her talents yet but like. I now have all 3 versions of mei & am stoked. Robin actually sings during her ult ive heard which is cool as hell & i wanna try for her maybe? Still undecided but i know people who want boothill. The triple su drops gave me basically nothing for archeron & i am. Salty. I need to build pela & welt but also i have. So little time. Adventurine is actually a solid shielder but like. Idk. I dont have clara on main so im uncertain on his usage when i have so many others to work on. & genshin is taking my time more for arlecchino funds. I wish the game was that nice to me for clara i even have her light cone but not her. Best part of archeron in sim universe easy. Skipping so much bullshit. I finally was able to get ratio up to clear swarm & do gold & gears which i enjoy way more. Ah yeah that is her best set from what ive heard & both of them seem to hate giving me good pieces for her. So im operating on a weird mix until i get good stuff. Scuffed but works. Have you heard her line for joining a team with black swan yet? Ive uh. Been on a trinity of genshin star rail & ai the somnium files trying to like. Actually beat games in my backlog. Bartender event was so fun im glad they are doin solid on the events like the potion makin event for genshin was pretty good. Sorry for throwin off the equilibrium immediately its been. A time.

HI I AM ALSO VERY VERY SORRY...... i was in croatia for 2 weeks + school Got Me..... i am back though. AND YEAH REAL AS HELL i like unironically thought that was something made up for television. but it Is really great that they exist irl. tons tons tons of fun to work on it and then see the result hehehehe...... and thankies!!!!! i will defo in the future. and hey its been around a month so!!!! hows your tattoo!!!!!! also if i may ask what is it Of...... AND REAL LIKE. make up your damn mind. today especially was a weird day cos its cloudy but SO hot out. and godddd yeah. me when the neurodivergence makes my neurons divergent. but at least i get back on my meds Soon...... hopefully....... i have an appointment at least. and oh nice!!!! i am unfortunately seeleless but maybe i will get sparkle......... one day......... saving for firefly right now tho. shes so cool i love her. AND ALSO ISNT IS SOOO COOL THAT SHE IS ACTUALLY CANONICALLY MEI. its so cool its so cool. scratched my brain just right. tho i actually havent finished the trailblaze mission yet bc i failed the second dominicus fight JSHD. cos of the forced tb in the party. hell on penacony. and yeah she does!!!!! also how did your pulls go??? good luck if you havent gotten her yet. i wanted boothill before i found out that firefly is right next patch so. Rerun perhaps. AND YEAH SAME like. What was even the point. i need to get my bailu built better first tho..... Augh. one must imagine star rail players happy. I NEED TO BUILD PELA TOOOOOO and im unfortunately weltless But im planning to get him from the 300 on standard since i still havent hit that. somehow. and ahhhh yeah thats fair, tbf my clara team is just pulled together by. March 7th. but she does her damn job so who am i to complain!! and oh good luck with arlecchino!!!! i cant play genshin anymore, fortunately or not, but i Did get back into arknights recently so. theres that. and auugh i have the same with gepard [yes lightcone, no him]. AND YEAH SHE REALLY DOES MAKE SU EASY. god i love her. and hey congrats!!! yeah i like g&g more as well even if it does not like me. but ah what can you do....... also running chars on scuffed gear is just like. A canon experience i feel. and Yes i have......... augh. and ooh nice!!!! havent heard of the third one i think?? and yeah bartender event Was a lot of fun. also DONT WORRY AB IT as you can see. am Very Late as well.

#in unmedicated hell.....#asks #pen pals

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wujico · 5 months

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i havent texted my girlfriend today. cant bring myself to do it. im going to end things soon, so that they dont have to deal with me any longer. what am i supposed to say, when theyre two stars away from grace... and im just me.

i want to hate them, so that it'll be easier once i do what i need to do. but i love them so much, more than anyone else. theyre the only one i have in my shit city.

i hope they hate me. i hope they gossip about me and its only bad things that they tell. i hope when they think of me they only feel resentment.

i hope im the villian, when they talk about what we once were. i hope when i finally end it all, they talk shit about me to their family. we have a mutal friend group... when we break up, i hope our friends hear their part of the story only.

i hope they hate me and i hope they make everyone else hate me as well. then i'll truly be alone.. but its okay. because i deserve it.

its better than them loving me, because i cant be loved, when im i like this.

i wrote this ^^^ then decided to text them. it wasnt dry per say but just... distant. they asked me if i knew about their new animal jam oc that they've be drawing (i did, because of their pfp which changed on most platforms) but i said no, cause i just want hear them talk. i love how pretty they look when talk about their interests.

but well... apparently i was the last to know. they said, "oh i thought i told you." I care, obviously, that i wasnt the first to know (jealousy issues and all that).

Maybe it would have been nice to at least have a snipet of their work when they were drawing the multiple drawings of him.

its been like that since we started dating though; their friends get first priority. their discord group is the first to get spammed. i wonder what its like, having a group of irl friends who actually like you for you... ill never know that feeling, not since my old toxic friends.

but ive gotten used to being second, im nobodys first, its whatever. but i wanna know things, even about my girlfriend. but theyre not being forced to share things like that, its just me. its who i am. i am so unlovable, i am so unapproachable.

its definitely my fault, that we cant talk about things anymore. i want to blame it on my depression. i want to blame it on my autism and need for space. i want to blame it on my uni classes that keep me at the school from 9am to 8pm most days. i want to blame it on my insomnia.

but those are exuses for how shitty of a person i am.

thats why im breaking up with them. because i cant even be enough to hear about their interests without it feeling forced. they deserve someone more, someone better. i dont love myself, but i love them, even then i dont think thats enough.

why do i have to be like this?

i just wanna be someone's first choice. just once. but nobody will ever choose me, so ill close myself off and push myself away. slowly...

not even 🍀 realizes yet. sometimes i go distant and shut off, but we're both like that. i wonder if hes noticed that i never vent anymore, or talk about anything serious. i wonder if he analyzes my discord status as a cry for help instead of a simple song lyric. i wonder if he can read past all the fake happiness through capital letters, emojis, keyboard smashes and exclamation marks.

ive been pretending ive been getting better, but thats been far from true for a while. sh doesnt even work anymore. i only wish for death now.

🍀 left me before. three times. once, it was because i was needy. the second time, i wasnt enough for even his boyfriend- he chose his boyfriend over me. the third time was the worst, but thats a story for another day.

he always apologies and says hes sorry; i say i forgive him, because i dont want him to feel guilty. he left me for a reason, its cause im an unlovable person. and i do forgive him, how could i not? when hes the person who gives me life? getting that text message that he wanted me back was literally like a dream, but i didnt and still dont understand why he would take me back. i dont think i deserve a third chance.... who knows

i forgive him. i cant be mad at anybody anymore, i cant find it in me to care. but im still hurt by it. im scared, too. im scared im gonna wake up and he'll be gone again.

im selfish, but im scared when he mentions his friends... how pathetic right? but its them who told him to leave me all those years ago.

maybe it'll be best this time though. if it happens a fourth time, he has to believe them right? i hope they make him hate me.

but ill pretend im okay for another day.

- ji

(1 / 16 / 2024)

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2bit-sunshine · 9 months

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Saw some tiktok like "its okay to mourn the life you thought you were going to have" and i just felt. Slapped. Like idk. Its no ones fault but my own but ive never known for the life of me what life i wanted. I think i wanted to be a therapist? I wanted to help people? But i remember as a kid being like. Idk if this is what i want but people have an easy time talking to me and i like psychology. So. Yeah.

All i know is i need to work to live. I need to drive to live. I need to do all the stuff i hate to live. Theres nothing i want but to make my loved ones happy. If it werent for them. If i were utterly alone in the world. Well i probably wouldnt be in the world at all for much longer. But i have loved ones and theyre happy to have me so i will live. Even if it hurts and i prefer dreaming to being awake. Ill make it work.

Idk what i want and am just. Drifting along. Idk if i have any ideal life to mourn. But i dont want to be mourned. Not yet.

I have a dog and shes chasing after rabbits in her dream i think. Shes laying with my mom whom i am thankful for all her help. Shes married to my dad who taught me good morals and kindness and patience. They had three other sons beforeme whom i love even if they dont always like eachother. Im thankful for john trying to be my brother. Im thankful for mike always trying to get me to think about the future. Im thankful for richard for showing me what it is i love in life. Video games and lore and music.

John started dating a woman along time ago, now married together, and she had a kid named Kyle before they met who is my best and oldest friend. He dated a fellow named Zoey whose become a great friend, even after their break up.

I dated a guy named Alex back in high school. It didnt work it out and it was far from perfect but is the happiest thing I have from those years. We still talk and hang out and hes another bestie. He got me back in touch with some other guys from high school whom he lives with and one to whom he is married to. Theyre both great fun and i appreciate them and their love for alex.

He got me in touch with an old friend from high school who graduated before us. Elliot tries hard and is just a swell guy.

I have friends I met through the Collective who I play Pathfinder with every week. If it werent for them id probably never to get to play a regular ttrpg. You guys know who you are. They have such fun characters and put up with my endless repeating questions.

I have other friends on here whom i love and other friends I havent mentioned from irl but i love all them too.

Lastly is my nephews. One is like 19 and grew up so fast I never really knew him. Love him to death though. Then theres my brother mikes son. So young and still learning to walk and talk. I dont want to leave a hole in his life before he starts to grow up. Ilove his babbling.

This has gotten really long but tbh ive been dealing with some heavy thoughts for a while. I think i needed the chance to count my blessings. Ill be okay though i promise

#personal #long post

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ggthydrangea · 1 year

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yess i love the stages with different groups together!! and like the collab stages for kingdom too, it's so cool to see different idols coming together :) i hope for you that we get a chan and taeyang stage sometime 😄

oh i meant the sleeveless one being taeyang in now or never, not shirtless HAHAHAHAH 😂😂 it was near the beginning of the video i think? in that mustard yellow/green sleeveless shirt (he has nice armsss)

i also like p1h and nflying which i learned the other day are the same company as sf9! i don't know nflying's names but i like both group's music as well :D

i also havent been reading as much lately unfortunately 😔 i read station eleven a few months ago and i really liked that, it's kind of like sci fi/time travel but the way the author writes is both mundane and magical at the same time to me in the way that she weaves past and present into one narrative so it was a nice read!! i will have to check out unwind, i love dark novels hahahah

i actually havent watched anime recently either LOL i watched a lot in the past though like i think my peak time was in high school. some of my favs were anohana (my first anime and it made me bawl (i do cry pretty easily with shows though)), death parade, erased, bungou stray dogs, hxh. i tend to watch more kdramas now though i did watch wednesday recently which was pretty good! (the dark school setting is one of my favs lol)

random question, what are some of your fav chan moments (stages or otherwise, just in general)? ^^ i know this is a question that opens the floodgates so feel free to write as long or short of a response as you want 😂

Oh oops that was me being tired, I meant to say sleeveless! 😂 But yes the guy in the mustard sleeveless shirt is Taeyang! :3 (And yes hehe he does have nice arms)

I haven't gotten around to p1h yet, but N.flying has some really fun songs, I love me a good band. 👌

Ooo sounds interesting! If you read Unwind let me know, I'd love to hear what you think! Just like I said, it's dark, nothing graphic but it deals with some heavy topics and difficult questions.

I haven't seen all of those, but I really enjoyed Death Parade, such an interesting anime! HxH is fun, though it's so long I've had a hard time getting through it. 😅 I'm a weird mix of basic and niche with my favorites - I love stuff like Fullmetal Alchemist and Ouran Highschool Host Club, but also stuff like Skip Beat!

Ooo fave Chan moments... I'm gonna have to think on that more... I had a crazy day and I'm heading to bed, but I'll keep thinking and get back to you, there's so many... XD

#ask #anonymous #🐺 anon #stayblrsecretsanta22

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