Do I Wanna Know?
Chapter One: I'm Asking You
Pairing: Shinichiro Sano x Fem!Akashi!Reader
Summary: You’ve been crushing on your brother’s best friend since the day you met him. Years later, you still find yourself unable to confess your feelings out of fear of rejection as well as not wanting to upset your brother. In hopes of freeing yourself from this decade-long crush, as well as gauging his interest without having to reveal the extent of your feelings, you decide to ask a favor of him before you go off to college.
Word Count: 14.4k
Content Warnings: friends with benefits dynamic, brother's best friend trope, brief mentions of alcohol, sexual content, teaching, light dry humping, this chapter is actually pretty mild but this series will contain explicit smut, 18+ minors do not interact!
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Some things in life are supposedly fated.
When you were younger, your grandmother would often tell you bedtime stories to lull you to sleep at night. The stories she told weren’t ones that she read from children’s books, rather she preferred to make up her own stories to narrate to you. Her favorite to tell was the one about Big Fates and Little Fates.
The two fates are siblings, she had explained. Big Fates was the older brother, a major event that is set in stone from the moment someone is born, and Little Fates was his younger sister, following after him. Little Fates loved her older brother, and she exists to push people in the right direction and guide them to her big brother to help him. Big Fates can’t exist without Little Fates, and Little Fates will become lost without her brother. The two siblings rely on each other in order to exist, and they grow stronger together.
You never really understood the meaning of that story, but your grandma assured you that one day, perhaps when you were a little older, it would reveal itself to you. At the time, you tended to shrug off things you didn’t understand and accept what you were told as fact. Like many caught up in the path of the siblings of fate, you were completely unaware of the day that Little Fates took your hand.
You were sitting at the coffee table in your grandmother’s living room, doodling on a piece of paper with the doll your father bought you at your side when your brother raced past you and into the kitchen with your grandma. You couldn’t hear what they were saying, but when he exited the kitchen, he clearly told your grandmother that he was leaving.
“Where are you going?” You asked, setting your crayons down, your brother now having your full attention.
He stopped at your voice, shooting a narrowed glance in your direction, shortly replying, “To the park.”
You gasped excitedly at his declaration, beginning to push yourself from the wooden floor. He grimaced, already anticipating the question that was about to leave your mouth, “Can I g—”
“No,” He stated bluntly, cutting off your request before you could fully get it out. This was a recurring back-and-forth between the two of you.
“You didn’t let me fin—”
“You can’t come with me.”
Your mouth gaped at his words, taking a step back before a childlike pout took over your features, “Why not?”
“Because.” He shot back, turning away from you dismissively, but you weren’t about to let him get away quite yet. Not without giving you a proper answer, at least.
You followed after him as he made his way towards the front door, continuing your line of questioning, “Because why?”
“Because,” He addressed pointedly, halting again and taking a deep breath before facing you, “I’m going to hang out with a friend, and I don’t want you to bother us.”
“I won’t bother you, I swear!” You promised, leaning forward on your toes, hoping to present yourself as sincere. You meant it! If he just let you tag along, you wouldn't bug him or his friend. You’d occupy yourself while they ran around, and you wouldn’t even look at them if that’s what he wanted.
“I already told you, no. Now stop asking.” He moved to turn away from you again, but you shot ahead of him, blocking his path and causing him to curse under his breath.
“Please, Take-nii!” You pleaded, giving him the best pair of puppy dog eyes you could muster, “I don’t wanna stay behind at grandma’s all the time. I wanna go to the park sometimes, too!”
“[Name]—”
You clasped your hands under your chin as you kneeled in front of your older brother, who scowled down at you. “I’ll leave the two of you alone, I promise! Please? Pretty please, Take-nii? You won’t even know that I’m there!”
“C’mon, [Name], stop begging like a spoiled brat. Today’s not a good day. Maybe next time, ok?” He offered, clicking his tongue when he saw your expression deflate. “I’ll bring you next week. That sound good? Now get off the floor.”
He extended his hand to you and you took it with a pout, allowing him to pull you to your feet. Takeomi always said stuff like “Maybe next time” and “I’ll do it next week” but it never happened. Deep down in your young heart, you knew he was just saying those things to pacify you, but that naive part of you still hoped that next week would come and he’d fulfill his promise. So, like always, you planned to nod and agree.
“Takeomi, you’re still here?” Your grandmother questioned from the doorway to the kitchen, “That’s good, I need you to watch your sister for a little while. I’ve got to go grocery shopping or else you youngsters might be without dinner tonight. Can you do that for me?”
For a split second, Takeomi’s brows pinched together, but his expression relaxed before he responded, “I promised my friend that I would be at the park for noon. I can’t be late. Can’t she go shopping with you?”
“I know Omi, I wasn’t saying you couldn’t go to the park. Why don’t you take [Name] with you? That would probably be more fun for her than shopping with me.” Your face lit up at your grandmother’s words, and she sent you a kind smile and a knowing wink.
His lips tightened into a forced smile, offering your grandmother a weak nod, “You’re right, grandma. I’ll keep an eye on her.”
Your eyes were practically sparkling, and you felt a lightness overtake you at his acceptance, oblivious to the seemingly forced nature of it all. No, it didn’t matter at all as long as your older brother was going to let you accompany him to the park. You should change into something easier to move in!
“’m gonna go get dressed to go play. Thank you, grandma!” You hugged the woman’s leg, causing her to stumble back a bit, but she chuckled lightly as she watched you run off. She still had a lot of energy for her age; she was still young for a grandmother after all, but how she was envious of yours at times. She turned back to your brother once you were down the hall.
“Thank you, Takeomi. Such a good older brother.” Your grandmother mused as she reached out to place her hand on his head, “I know sometimes you wanna go off on your own, but you should make time for her as well. Look how excited she is. As the oldest, it’s your responsibility to watch over and guide your younger sister.”
Takeomi did not say anything back for a few seconds, opting to look past his grandma instead. He swallowed, offering another tight smile and tense nod, responding with a low, “Yes, ma’am. I understand.”
You sound of your feet thudding against the floor could be heard as you came bounding out of your room. Out of that cute floral dress your grandmother had dressed you in this morning and into some shorts and a t-shirt, ready to fight the summer heat and the rock wall at the playground.
“Be careful now, you two.” Your grandma addressed the two of you as she grabbed her purse and keys, sending a final smile both of your ways before walking out the front door.
Both you and your brother watched as the door closed, neither of you moving or saying anything to the other. You were the one who broke the stalemate, turning to your brother with a wide, innocent smile, which was met with a click of the tongue.
“Damn it…” He mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose before letting out a defeated sigh, “Well, get your shoes on, hurry up.”
The two of you began making your way toward the park, Takeomi holding your hand and escorting you through the one crosswalk on the way so you wouldn’t get left behind. The park wasn’t particularly far from where you lived, but he didn’t want to lose track of you.
“I’ll introduce you to Shin when we get there, but after that, you go play and leave us alone. Understand?” He questioned, looking down at you to read your expression.
You nodded eagerly, beaming up at him, “Mhm, okay, I promise!”
“Why’re you grinning like that? You look weird.” He teased, chuckling despite himself. If it was his responsibility as an older brother to look after you, it was also his responsibility to poke at you from time to time as well.
“Because,” you started excitedly, smile not faltering despite his remark, “Take-nii is letting me come with him today. It makes me happy!”
His eyes widened at your admission, looking away from you so that you wouldn’t see how his expression softened a bit. He guessed that your grandma was right. This did mean more to you than he initially thought. Sure, he found you annoying at times, but it was just because you were a year younger. You wanted to follow your older brother because you admired him. He understood that, at least.
“Yeah, well, I guess it’s not so bad every now and then.”
You tilt your head at his words, lips parted slightly before breaking out into a grin once again, humming in agreement as your arms swing at your sides. When you were slightly younger, Takeomi would play with you, but once he started elementary school, he started telling you to go play with other girls whenever you tried to join him. At home, there were still times when he would play with you, especially when boredom hit the two of you at the same time, but he often preferred to go out and play with his own friends now and leave you behind, so this was a huge victory for you!
Before you knew it, you could see the outline of the little wooden tower and the top of the jungle gym in the distance, and from there it didn’t take more than a minute for the two of you to arrive at your destination.
“Oh, he’s here already,” Takeomi mumbled, causing you to look over in the direction he was looking. You could see a boy about your brother’s age, maybe a little older, drinking at one of the water fountains. Your brother raised his hand over his head, waving towards his friend and calling out to him, “Oi, Shin, over here!”
Takeomi’s shout made you jump a little bit, eyes widening as the boy turned to look in your direction. You shrunk behind your brother. While you’d been excited to accompany him, you suddenly felt anxious at the idea of meeting a new person today. Your brother never let you play with his friends, so you were a little nervous to finally meet one. You visibly stiffened behind Takeomi when he began jogging over to the two of you.
“Takeomi, I just got here. Glad I didn’t have to wait long!” The older boy grinned, stopping in front of your brother, the two sharing a high five. His eyes shifted in your direction, pausing when he saw your figure shuffling behind his friend. His brow raised slightly as his grin softened to an inquisitive smile, “Huh? Who’s this?”
You blinked at the boy, looking up at your brother, unsure of what to do in his presence. Takeomi sighed, “This is my younger sister. My grandma needed to go shopping, so she tagged along today.” At that, your brother nudged you in front of him, urging you to introduce yourself.
You sent a final glance towards your brother before turning to face his friend. Nervously, your gaze hit his feet, mumbling your name too quietly for either boy to hear. His friend chuckled lightly as Takeomi nudged you again with his foot, causing you to look back up at the boy and meet his dark eyes for a split second. You swallowed, trying to stand a bit taller as you willed your voice to be a little louder, “…I’m [Name] Akashi.”
“So you’re Takeomi’s little sister? Nice to meet you, I’m Shinichrio Sano!” The older boy grinned, holding out his hand towards you for you to shake. Once again unsure of what to do, you looked to your brother, who nodded his head towards Shin’s hand. You hesitantly grabbed hold of it with your own, nodding at the boy in acknowledgment as his hand softly enveloped yours in a gentle shake. His hand was warm, and a lot bigger than your own, you couldn’t help but note before he let go.
You remembered your brother’s words after leaving your grandmother’s house. You promised to leave him alone after meeting Shinichiro. You slowly turned away from the boy and back towards Takeomi who raised his brow at your expression. He never understood how you could go from bouncing around to acting so bashful so quickly.
“I’m gonna go play on the slides…” You informed your brother, running off before receiving a response from him.
“Stay where I can see you, alright?” Takeomi called after you, sighing when you didn’t even bother to shout back a reply, “…little brat.”
Shinichiro chuckled, shaking his head a bit, “She’s shy, huh? How cute.”
“She’s a little terror.” Your brother shot back, rolling his eyes before lightly slapping Shin’s shoulder, “Anyway, c’mon, let’s go play on the jungle gym.”
You ignored the presence of the two older boys as you continuously climbed up the slides and slid down, rotating between the two different ones that the small playground offered. One was a straight shot down, while the other one spiraled. You preferred the swirly one, personally. Still, it got repetitive after a while.
After growing bored of the slides, you eventually found yourself in the sandbox instead. You gathered as much sand in front of you as you could, creating a pretty sizeable pile, and patting it at different angles in an attempt to give it the shape you wanted. You wondered if it would be easier to shape if you had some water, debating if you should run to the water fountain to collect some.
“Holy crap, that was awesome!”
You jumped, head shooting up in the direction of your brother’s voice. The two boys were playing on the merry-go-round, and it was apparent to you by the speed that it was rotating and the fact that your brother was dusting away at the dirt on his clothes that they managed to make it go so fast that they were both flung off. They were both laughing… it looked fun.
You wished you could play with them, but you promised your older brother that you would leave him and his friend alone. Even if it was only because your grandma had to go grocery shopping, you didn’t want to upset your brother. If you were good, he might let you hang out with him more often. That’s what you hoped, at least, as you stared in their direction.
Shinichiro looked behind him as though he could feel a pair of eyes watching them, and as he thought, he caught your gaze. Your eyes widened as they met his, snapping your attention back down at your little pile of sand. To distract yourself from your nerves, you began to carve at the pile with your fingers, attempting to give it a brick-like appearance. A shadow fell over you as you worked in the finishing touches.
“What are you doing?” You looked up to see your brother’s friend staring down at you with a friendly smile, one hand behind his back.
You blinked, eyes falling back towards the sculpted pile of sand in front of you and then to the side. Your reply comes out low, but loud enough for him to hear, “…Building a sandcastle.”
“Yeah?” He squats down across from you, studying your work before sending you a grin, “Looks good! You really worked hard on this, huh? Hmm, but I think it’s missing one thing.”
“Huh?” You tilt your head curiously at his words and the boy nods earnestly, though there was a playful air about him.
He withdrew the hand that was hiding his back to reveal a large, fully intact leaf with a long stem. Carefully, he placed stuck the stem of the leaf into the sand at the top of your castle, and once it was safely in place, he proudly smiled at you, “Ta-da! A flag, see?”
Your reaction was a bit delayed, lips parted and slowly blinking at his display before a mousy, yet delighted smile crept its way onto your face, a light laugh leaving you. Shinichiro seemed pleased with your reaction, relieved that he was able to get a smile out of you, as nervous as it was. You were Takeomi’s sister, after all, so he wanted you to feel comfortable around him.
“So, now that your castle’s all finished, whaddya wanna do? Anything you wanted to play on?” He asked, noting how you looked a bit surprised before your face scrunched up in thought.
Your eyes still fell to the ground, fidgeting a bit with your fingers as you bit the side of your cheek. It was strange to you how your mind went blank, how your chest fluttered with excitement at the simple question. Usually, you just followed after whatever your brother wanted to do on the few, rare occasions he let you go with him somewhere. You were just fine with that arrangement; you always have been. Even so, you bubbled at the idea of choosing what to do next. You swallowed as you willed yourself to meet his eyes and hesitantly replied, “The swings… maybe.”
“Yeah, the swings are fun, right?” The boy’s kind smile never seemed to leave his face, nodding at your reply, “Good choice.”
Your brother’s voice rang out again, and looking past Shinichiro, you could see him jogging up to his friend, stopping to catch his breath for a second, “Is something the matter?”
“Nope. Just chatting with [Name]-chan.” Shinichiro shook his head, standing up from his crouched position. He turned to face your brother, suggesting, “Takeomi, let’s go swing for a bit”
“Huh? Okay.” Takeomi agreed without any pushback, “Let’s go!”
You watched as your brother took off in the direction of the swings, stiffening up when Shinichiro held out his hand to you. Again, he offered you a smile as he chimed, “You come too.”
You looked from his hand to his face, tentatively letting him take hold of your smaller hand, helping you to your feet. He released your hand once you were up, and you carefully hopped over your castle as you follow after him and your brother to the swings. Shin took the swing to the right of Takeomi, leaving either the swing to your brother’s left or the one next to him. You plopped down on the one next to your brother, kicking back off the ground and letting the swing take you forward.
The wind was refreshing against your face as you kicked your feet back and forth, listening to the conversation tossed between your brother and his friend. They were both trying to see who could go higher. They both had you beat pretty easily; both were older than you after all. Still, you tried your best to silently compete with them.
“What’s with that face?” Your brother called out to you suddenly, noticing your mixed expression as you watched them. It was amusing how your brows pinched in concentration, yet you were still seemingly cheerful.
“I wish I could swing as high as you, Take-nii!” You answered with a childish giggle, causing a sense of pride to swell in your brother’s chest. You dug your feet into the ground, thinking maybe if you kicked off stronger, you just might be able to go higher.
“Do you want someone to push you?” Shin offered, leaning forward on the swing to look over at you. Your face lit up and nodded without thinking, wanting to reach the same heights as them..
Shinichiro waited until the right moment before jumping from his swing, landing on his feet just before where the boxed-in woodchips ended.
“Whoa!” Both you and Takeomi gasped out at the same time, mouths wide at how far he’d managed to leap. Shinichiro turned towards the two of you with a spirited laugh, making his way back over to you.
“Alright, [Name]-chan, I’ll push you.” Shin stated as he moved behind you. You jolted when he grabbed the bottom of the chain to your swing, looking up at him, “Hold on to the chain tightly, ok?”
You nodded, relaxing as he pulled you back before sending you forward with a light push. His hands would gently meet your lower back with each swing back until eventually, you were reaching the same height as your brother next to you. Quiet giggles bubbled out of you, and after a few moments, Shinichiro stepped to the side.
“Keep moving your legs back and forth with the same force, and you’ll be able to keep this momentum going.” Shin coached, and you quickly nodded, listening to his instruction.
A minute passed and you were able to keep the same height without Shinichiro pushing you. It was your turn to feel a sense of pride wash over you as even Takeomi praised, “Way to go, [Name].”
After commending you, your brother hopped off of his swing, achieving a steady landing a few feet away. You let out a little gasp, grinning at the display.
When it came to your older brother, you were always impressionable. If he did something, you wanted to do it too. That’s just how it was. Without much thought to it, on your next swing forward, you let go of the chains, springing off the swing and into the air.
“Whoa, [Name]-chan—” Shin attempted to call out to you before you left your swing but was too late. You were swinging way too high for you to just jump like that!
Your stomach cut a tiny flip when you first kicked off, but the feeling was quickly replaced by excitement. If you’d thought the air felt nice while you were swinging, something about flying through it was even better, even if it was only for a brief few seconds. You braced yourself for the impact of the landing as you got closer to the ground, a small amount of pain shooting up your ankle once you touched down. You stumbled forward slightly, but managed to stick the landing, only half a foot behind your brother.
Takeomi turned to look at you, blinking before the corners of his lips twitched up, “Heh, not bad, [Na—”
“Holy crap!” You exclaimed, bouncing up on the tips of your toes in excitement. You beamed up toward your brother, accidentally interrupting the praise you’d been secretly hoping for. That was awesome! You weren’t sure if you’d actually be able to do it, but you did! How cool was that?!
“Hey, don’t say that!” Takeomi was quick to scold you, eyes widening at your exclamation.
“Huh?” You turn to him, quickly trading out your smile for a small pout, “But you say it all the time.”
“It’s different if I say it! Dad and Grandma’ll be on my butt if they hear you cursing.” He explained rather matter-of-factly, crossing his arms.
You tilted your head at his words but shrugged it off. You didn’t get it, but if Takeomi said it was bad, then it was bad. You nodded at your brother, bowing your head slightly, “Okay, I’m sorry, Take-nii.”
“It’s whatever, just don’t say it again.” He sighed, his hand finding the top of your head in order to ruffle your hair up. You puffed your cheeks out in protest, bringing your hands up to swat his away, but before you could say anything, Shinichiro was next to your brother, laughing at your sibling antics.
“That was impressive, [Name]-chan. Had me worried for a second there, though.” He laughed, and your chest puffed out with pride once again, forgetting all about your brother’s scolding.
“I’m gonna go to the water fountain, I’m getting thirsty,” Takeomi mentioned, motioning over to the fountains.
Shinichiro nodded, “Me too, I’ll go with you.” He sent a small wave your way as the two of them began walking in that direction.
You weren’t really thirsty, and a small bout of guilt began poking at you for playing with your brother’s friend after promising not to. Even though Takeomi seemed alright with it since it was Shinichiro’s suggestion, it still felt like you were breaking your promise. You nodded to yourself, you’ll leave them alone now. Still, it was fun playing with Shinichiro. He was really nice...
You look around, scanning the playground for something that you could play on by yourself. The multicolored tri-level bars caught your attention. Climbing was something you enjoyed a lot, but you were weary of the jungle gym after hurting your wrist sometime last year in a fall.
The memory of Takeomi trying his best to comfort you and get you to stop crying was still fresh in your mind. Despite the pain, that day became a fond memory for you, though you kept that a little secret just for yourself to know. He’d been so worried about you. As you made your way over to the bars, you decided maybe practicing more would prevent slip-ups like what occurred that day. Even if you had enjoyed your brother’s attention, you didn’t want to worry him like that again.
The first bar came up to your forehead. You studied the bars, trying to strategize how you would get from the small one to the tallest. It would be difficult to try to pull yourself up with your arms since you lacked the upper body strength required to do so. If you hooked you legs over the smallest one, you may be able to climb up the bars like a sloth.
You jumped on the smallest bar, and just like you thought, it was easier to rely on your legs to keep you up. You climbed from the first bar to the next, slowly making your way to the tallest one. It was a bit harder to pull yourself over the second, almost losing your grip in the transition from the first to the second, but you repeated your actions until you were hanging from your knees at the tallest bar. You allowed yourself to look at the world upside down for a while as a reward to yourself for your success.
Now that you’ve accomplished yet another amazing feat, you wondered what you should take on next. The monkey bars maybe? Sometimes, if you swung hard enough, you could skip a bar. Or maybe the tower next to the bumblebee spring rider. No, it was obvious what you should play on next. The rock climb wall, of course! Then, maybe you’d be ready to try the jungle gym again…
So caught up in your thoughts, you didn’t hear the crunch of the woodchips behind you, unaware of anyone’s presence until Shinichiro popped out right in front of you. Being upside down put you at eye level with the dark-haired boy. His face was only a few inches from yours. He opened his mouth to greet you, but before he could even get the words out, he was cut off by a startled yelp.
You instinctively pulled back, trying to distance yourself from the sudden and unexpected closeness, but it only caused you to swing back forward on the bar, bashing your forehead into his. The collision made Shinichiro stumble back, one hand coming up to cover the bump and the other moving to lessen his fall as he landed on the ground. You mirrored his movement, both hands rising to your forehead on reflex. This, paired with the force of the contact resulted in you losing your hold on the bar and plunging to the ground.
Luckily, you managed to twist yourself in the air, avoiding falling on your head. Your arms instinctively thrust out in front of you to break your fall as you fell on your stomach. A weak groan left you as you pushed yourself up into a sitting position. Tears began to sting your eyes as they welled up from the initial blow, but you held them back. You wouldn’t cry and make your brother worry! Especially not in front of his friend! You didn’t want to trouble either of them… but it hurt…
“Are you okay?” Shinichiro winced slightly as he stood up, quickly making his way over to you. Before you could answer, he was crouched down in front of you. He reached out to brush your hair out of your face and out of the way, inspecting your forhead closely. A worried frown appeared on his face, “A knot’s forming…”
You swallowed against the lump forming in your throat. You tried to focus on something else, your eyes scanning his face before stopping on his own forehead. Though his bangs covered most of the area, you could see a similar lump forming on the top right of his forehead. You pointed at the bump, remarking, “You’ve got one, too.”
Shin blinked, hand moving from your head to his own, gently feeling the area before breaking out into a grin. He let out a light laugh, causing you to look up at him curiously. What was so funny?
“We match then!” His eyes met your once again, Shinichiro holding out his hand to you.
The knot didn’t hurt at all anymore.
Your lips parted as you looked up at the older boy. Suddenly, the brightest smile broke out on your face as you took his hand, “Yeah…!”
Shinichiro helped you up as your brother’s voice could be heard calling out to you, asking if you were both okay.
That day was surely the beginning of the end for you.
—–
It seemed so long ago now.
Beep-beep. Beep.
The notification tone shook you out of your thoughts, causing you to look over to the phone at the edge of your bed. You huffed out a quiet laugh at yourself.
You weren’t sure why you were thinking about that all of the sudden. Maybe the fact that your first semester of college was fast approaching was starting to mess with you more than you thought it would. Now here you were, sitting in bed as you listened to music on your MP3 player and yearning for the good ol’ days when your biggest concern was annoying your brother into letting you tag along with him someplace.
Or maybe you were fondly reminiscing the day any chance of you having a normal romantic life died.
You grabbed your phone, taking it off the charger and flipping it open to check your notifications, seeing you had a new message. It was from your friend, Natsumi. You’d become good friends with her in high school. While you took a gap year before applying to colleges, she started immediately and got accepted in a good university about an hour away. You clicked on her message, opening it up.
Natsumi: there’s gonna be a party at my dormmate’s boyfriend’s place. said I could bring a friend :)
Natsumi: i know takeomi probs won’t bring you, but i can split the cost of a cab with you, and you can crash at my dorm room!
Natusmi: since you’re starting college soon, you should use this as a chance to get some experience ;)
You let a small puff of air escape your nose in a laugh. The first and last time you went to a party with Natsumi was a year ago, and it ended with her disappearing with her boyfriend and you getting into an argument with a touchy guy. The night ended in disaster. You eneded up calling Wakasa to come pick you up, and you had to bribe him with some alcohol you stole not to tell your brother that you’d snuck out that night. You weren’t fond of parties at all, especially ones where you only knew one person there. Not to mention reading the word “experience” made you physically cringe.
[Name]: no thanks, i’m not really feeling it tonight.
Natsumi: boo you never feel it :(
Natsumi: don’t tell me you’re still hung up on your brother’s friend :,)
[Name]: i’m not hung up on anything >:c
Natsumi: of course not. but don’t blame me if you’re lacking experience a couple of months from now :p
[Name]: yeah, yeah whatever you say, natsu. Be careful tonight
With that, you snapped your phone closed, tossing it back where you found it. Was it really that strange for someone your age to have never dated anyone before? Your friends poked fun at you occasionally, but you never thought much of it. If you were gonna do anything with anybody, it wasn’t gonna be some random guy at a party. There was nothing wrong with it, it just wasn’t for you.
Besides, you weren’t gonna live the dorm life anyway. You were more of a homebody and chose a college that was closer to where you lived, so whenever you had classes, you could take the metro there and head right back home whenever they were done. No need to go to parties. It had nothing to do with your brother’s friend…
You sighed, of course, it did, and you knew it. Didn’t mean you had to admit it to anyone else, though.
Shinichiro Sano. You’ve had a crush on your brother’s best friend for as long as you could remember now, since before you even knew what a crush was, you think. There were times when he would even jokingly ask if you were falling for him when he helped you out with something, not even aware of just how right he was. Just how many times have the words “sorry, I like someone else” left your lips, knowing that you lacked the courage to confess like the person you were rejecting? Even now, you were hiding in your room while he and your brother were visiting in the living room. It was infuriating. You could just scream into your pillow when you thought about it.
You’d come a long way from that shy girl on the playground, but knowing that Shinichiro would probably never see you as more than your brother’s sister was discouraging, to say the least. As was hearing his multiple failed confession stories throughout the years. You hated sitting there while Wakasa and Takeomi picked on him, meanwhile all you could do was wonder what you had to do to be on the receiving end of one of those confessions… and then eventually coming to the conclusion that you never would be. It didn’t matter if you tried dressing more like the tenth girl or acting more like the twentieth when all you were was Takeomi’s little sister.
Many times, you’d considered confessing your feelings, if just to rip the bandaid off, so to say. If you confessed to Shinichiro, you would know if your suspicions of just being Takeomi’s sister were correct, and if he rejected you, you could cry it out and be able to move forward. But… rejection terrified you. That’s what held you back for so long.
Lately, a certain idea has been swirling around in your head, and Natsumi’s comment only reminded you of it. At first, you dismissed it entirely; a product of allowing your mind to wander a little too far, you figured. But maybe… maybe it really was your best bet. A way to gauge his interest without having to put all your cards on the table. You could offer him at least a part of yourself; it was a chance to present your own interest casually, so that you can easily back out if he doesn’t feel the same way, without ruining what friendship you did have. But it was so not like you to talk about something like that… but then again, you weren’t a kid anymore. You couldn’t just do nothing forever.
You groaned. Thinking about it just made your head and your feelings hurt.
That’s it! You were gonna do it. Next time you were presented the chance, you’d ask him! And if he showed no interest, you’d put this childhood crush to rest. That’s what you’ve decided. Now it was just to summon the courage to actually do it.
You took your earbuds out, pausing your music before wrapping the cord around the player and placing it on your nightstand. Smoothing down your hair and clothes, you decided to make your presence in the house known, quietly emerging from your room. Seeing him sitting on the couch, back facing you as you reached the end of the hall made it feel like the air was fizzling out of your chest.
Shinichiro and your brother were sitting on the L-shaped couch in the living room, your brother sitting at the end of the smaller portion while Shin was sitting across from the coffee table and television. As if he sensed your presence, Shin turned his head to the side, tilting it back slightly to greet you as he showed you the same kind smile as when he was younger, “Hey, [Name].”
“Shin, hey,” You returned the greeting, giving an easygoing wave as you made your way to the kitchen.
Over the years of both your and your brother’s friendship with Shinichiro, you’ve learned to hide the nervousness that sometimes worked its way into your system when you were in his presence. If you didn’t, life would’ve been much more awkward for you than it already was, you’re sure. It was fine when you were a kid, but as you got older, you knew shyness wouldn’t cut it. So even if the source of your yearning and anguish throughout your teenage years was sitting right in front of you, sending you the same smile that tormented your thoughts for years, you could still play it cool.
“You’re not gonna be able to sleep all day when your classes start, y’know.” Your brother’s voice brought you out of your thoughts, and you glanced toward him, huffing out a sarcastic laugh.
“I wasn’t sleeping, you old fart.” You tossed back lightheartedly as you continued to the refrigerator, bending over to grab a soda and then hesitantly grabbing a second.
“The hell, you brat?” Your brother lightly huffed back when you re-entered the living room area.
“Now, [Name], if Takeomi’s an old fart, what does that make me?” Shin asked, eyes on you as you approached where they were sitting.
You hummed in thought, placing one of the soda cans on the table in front of Shinichiro, plopping down on the couch a few inches away from him. A mischievous smile was on your face as you turned your head to him, “An older fart, I guess?”
“Ha, I see how it is.” Shin placed a hand over his chest in mock hurt, “And here I thought I was your favorite.”
You could feel your heartbeat start to pick up in your chest at the slightest bit of picking, but you fought against the feeling that came with it, laughing lightly as you deflected to your brother, “Well, Take-nii already looks and acts like he’s graying, so I guess you’re younger in those regards, Shin.”
“Don’t treat me like an old man just because I’m a little older than you, [Name]. You’re only a year younger than me.” Takeomi blankly nagged, and you pursed your lips half-heartedly.
“You still act like an old man, though.”
“And you still act like a bratty little kid.”
“Do not.”
“Do too.”
You both scowled at each other, turning away at the same time, letting out a dispassionate, “Whatever.” All the while, Shinichiro sat and watched the back-and-forth between you and your brother in amusement.
Takeomi got on your nerves someti... most of th— fairly often, he would find some way to annoy you, but lighthearted squabbles like this were secretly enjoyable for the two of you. With the age gap between both of you and your younger siblings, it often felt more like you were parental figures to them rather than older siblings. Being the oldest, you knew Takeomi felt that way more than you, though he never outwardly admitted it. It only annoyed you when he tried to act like he was your father figure too, despite only being a year older. But in moments like this, you got to be siblings. He never got to feel that way with Haruchiyo or Senju.
“If you weren’t napping, what were you doing?” Takeomi suddenly asked, taking a sip of what he was drinking and leaning back in his spot, ankle crossed over his knee.
“I was reading for a while, then I just listened to music.” You shrugged, debating whether you should tell him the last bit, but you were curious about one thing, so you added, “Natsumi invited me to a party, though. It’s at some guy she knows house.”
Takeomi’s eyes narrowed slightly at the words; he’d never been particularly good at hiding the fact that he wasn’t too fond of some of your friends, but you weren’t especially focused on Takeomi’s reaction. You sneaked a glance at Shinichiro, wondering if he would have any reaction at all to the that of you going to a college party, where there would no doubt be multiple guys your age. His expression didn’t appear to change at all as he looked over at you, except, maybe you were imagining it, the slight raising of a brow.
“Ya plannin’ on goin’?” Takeomi asked somewhat pointedly, gaining your full attention. The illusion of choice. If you said yes, he’d likely begrudgingly let you since you were an adult but be passive-aggressive about it for the next few days. That would be after trying to talk you out of it until it was time to go pick up your younger siblings.
You shook your head, waving your hand dismissively, “Nah, I’m not really interested. Not like I’d know anyone anyway. Plus, Haru and Senju’ll probably have homework when they get here.”
“Oh, alright,” Takeomi replied casually, but he visibly relaxed at your answer, “It’s probably for the best. You shouldn’t be going to just any party. It’s not safe for a girl your age, kiddo.”
“Only a year younger” when you poked at his age, but “kid sister’ whenever it involved anything else. You opened your mouth to make a comment about his last sentence but decided against it. Instead, you leaned back into the couch, scoffing quietly to yourself before cracking open your soda and taking a few sips. You’d let it go just this once. You knew, in this instance, his worry was well-meant at least. Parties were more dangerous for girls, so he wasn’t wrong. But still… having to get his permission to go out annoyed you.
“So, [Name],” Shin started, leaning forward a bit to grab the can of soda you’d brought him. He likely sensed the potential tension building in the room and wanted to dispel it, “You’re starting college soon. Does that mean you’re gonna be moving into the dorms?”
Takeomi had mentioned to his friends that you were going to college and that your classes were soon, but he didn’t really give much information other than that. You lightly tapped at the can in your hand, turning to face Shin as you explained, “I got accepted into a local one, so it’s just a short ride there and back. No need to pay extra for a dorm, so I’ll still be here.”
“Well, that’s good. Congratulations!” He grinned, reaching out to place his hand on your head, giving it a gentle pat.
Your breath hitched and your mind blanked for a split second before immediately going into overdrive. It wasn’t the first time Shin patted your head, but it never failed to make your cheeks feel warm and your heart race in your chest. Not to mention the implication that he might be glad that you’re staying home instead of moving further away… though you may be looking too much into it. Were you? You probably were. You shoved your scattered thought to the back of your mind, not wanting to appear as affected as you were.
You chuckled, looking off to the side, “Thanks, but they’ll accept pretty much anyone who didn’t flunk out.”
“She’s being overly modest.” Takeomi spoke, pointing at you with his pinky, the rest of his fingers holding his drink, “Her scores were among the highest in her grade. I pushed her to study. She could’ve gone to any university she wanted to, she just wanted the one closest to home.”
“No need to brag on me, Take-nii. I think you’re giving both of us a little too much credit.” You stated dismissively, placing your own drink on the coffee table.
Though, there was truth to his words. Your brother did push hard for you to study despite the fact that his grades were average. In middle school, you made great grades, and though you struggled with one or two subjects, you managed to cram enough before exams to do well. Your grandma always praised you for your grades, your father too busy to even look at them, and soon enough your brother started praising you too. He pushed for you to do even better starting high school, and even though you’d grown more independent from when you both were younger, you still seeked your older brother’s approval. There were several nights you found yourself studying more than you slept. That doesn’t mean he needs to go telling everyone about it.
“Takeomi’s right, [Name], you should be proud of yourself. College is a huge achievement!” Shin chimed in making you shrink a little more in your seat.
“I guess it’s just still sinking in,” You rubbed the side of your neck, not able to make eye contact with the older boy. Not one to stay comfortable being the center of attention, you directed a question toward him, “How’re things at S.S Motor?”
“Everything’s goin’ fine. You should stop by more often.” Shin stated before sending a teasing grin your way, “I know more than a few former Black Dragons who wouldn’t mind seeing you.”
You winced slightly, shaking your head. “Yeah, well, I don’t know about the last part, but I’ll make an effort anyway,” You promised, causing Shinichiro to let out a small laugh at your reaction.
“It’s almost time to go pick up Haruchiyo and Senju,” Takeomi cut in, glancing over at you, “Who��s turn is it again?”
“Yours. But I can go if you want. You’ve got Shin over, after all.” You offered, watching as his brows furrowed slightly in thought, probably making sure you weren’t lying to him despite your offer.
With your father still as busy as he was in your childhood, your grandmother watched after Haruchiyo and Senju just like she had the two of you. Of course, when you lived with her, you and Takeomi helped out, but you moved in with your older brother once you graduated high school. Your grandmother was getting older and young kids could be a handful, so even though they went to your grandmother’s house after school, some days out of the week you or Takeomi would pick them up to give your grandmother some rest.
“You went the last couple of times if I’m remembering correctly.” Takeomi eventually stated, “You’re being nice because Shin’s here, but you’ll complain later, right? Guess it can’t be helped. I’ll go.” He stood from the couch with a groan, stretching slightly.
“You’re making me sound mean. When have I ever complained about picking Haru and Senju up? I only complain about taking out the trash when it’s your turn, you jerk.” You argued, mocking offended by his accusation. One time, you complained about going because you weren’t feeling well and he never let you live it down. Unbelievabl…y believable.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, [Name].” He goaded, reaching out to ruffle your hair as he passed you, though you managed to swat his hand away. Unaffected, he turned to address Shinichiro, “So, Shin, what are you gonna do?”
Shin hummed in thought before replying, “I’ll stay here and chat with [Name] a bit.”
You blinked, turning to glance at him. Sure, you were just talking, but he wanted to keep talking with you even though your brother was leaving? It wasn’t like you’d never spoken with Shinichiro alone or anything like that; you were friends, after all, still… it just surprised you a bit, is all.
“Alright, well I’d say it shouldn’t take long, but that depends on how talkative grandma feels today.” Takeomi joked as he slipped on his shoes, but you knew it to be the truth. What should normally be a twenty-minute journey could easily turn into an hour if your grandmother was feeling sociable, and she often was. “Well then, I’m off. [Name], don’t bother Shin too much.” Takeomi told you, and you opened your mouth to respond, but he was already out the door.
“You two are at each other’s throats today, huh?” Shin chuckled, turning to you after the door was shut.
“Ha, nothing new,” You mirrored his quiet laughter, waving the statement off dismissively, “It’s never anything serious. Just picking… most of the time, at least.”
Shin nodded in understanding. He’s been in your life for around fourteen years now, so he was more than familiar with how you and Takeomi interacted and how your relationship with your brother has evolved over the years. Silence fell over the two of you for a brief moment.
“Are you nervous?” Shinichiro suddenly asked, causing you to stiffen in your spot, “About college, I mean. I know you said it’s still sinking in. It’s a big step, after all.”
You silently exhaled the breath you’d been holding, shrugging half-heartedly, “It’s not that much different than high school, I’m assuming… well maybe a little.” You started, hoping to sound unfazed, but you failed, letting out a light chuckle, “Okay, I guess I’m a little nervous, yeah.”
“It’s normal to feel that way. Don’t worry, you’ll do fine,” Shin assured with a kind-hearted grin that turned mischievous, “Who knows, you might even meet a nice guy.”
Your smile faltered, but only for a second. You forced a laugh, turning your head to the side and mumbling out a weak, “…Maybe.”
Your brows pulled down for a moment in thought, biting the inside of your cheek. Your mind wandered to the promise you made to yourself in your room, but Shinichiro’s teasing words made you second-guess yourself more than you already were. He couldn’t be interested in you if he could say something like that… but then again Shin always teased you this way. Whether it was about former black dragon members or jokingly accusing you of having a crush on him, that’s just how Shinichiro was. You could never be sure about how the older boy felt about you. And you never would, not unless you acted somehow.
You began to fidget with your hands, twisting at your fingers in your seat. If he says no, you can play it off as no big deal, and, well, your brother will be home in the next forty-or-so minutes and free you of your embarrassment. If he says yes… well, you’ll have to wing that if you don’t pass out from excitement. You can feel your heart hammering against your ribcage at just the thought of the conversation beginning. But you had to. So say it. Just say it. Say it. Say something! “Hey, Shin—?” Wait, you were really gonna ask him this?!
“Yeah?” His head tilted ever so slightly, prompting you to continue.
You swallowed. Your mind was staticky, having thrown yourself into the pit completely unprepared, “Can I ask you something? It’s a favor, really—You don’t have to if you don’t want to, of course. It’s a big favor and all, so…” You winced as you fumbled through your attempt at a response. This was so much easier in your head.
A fond smile painted its way onto Shinichiro’s face as he watched you fidget nervously, “What’s on your mind?”
You paused, taking a deep, quiet breath and letting it out, pushing yourself up to your feet from the couch. Mind made up, you tossed a glance toward Shinichiro, “Follow me? It’ll be easier for me to explain in my room.”
He raised a brow but nevertheless joined you in standing to his feet, replying with an amused yet curious, “Yeah, sure, lead the way.”
This gave you more time to calm your nerves, which would hopefully allow you to get your next words out without much trouble. Plus, you’d be way too embarrassed if this conversation went on longer than you expected and Takeomi and your younger sibling walked in on the two of you discussing this on the living room couch. Really though, you were trying to push asking him back as long as you could. But you knew that you couldn’t push it back forever. How long was it until Shinichiro would confess to someone who accepted? Then you’d never get the chance.
Both you and Shin stood in front of your bedroom door, and you sighed before turning the knob and gesturing for Shin to go ahead of you. You began to feel self-conscious as Shinichiro looked around. He’d been in your room once before in middle school, but that was at your grandmother’s house, and these were different circumstances.
“Nice decor. It’s cute,” Shinichiro complimented as if he could sense your unease. He then cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck, “So what’s up?”
Right. It was now or never.
“Could you… teach me, um…” You still couldn’t get the words out properly. Having him right in front of you made this so much more difficult than you thought it would, and you were starting to regret opening your mouth to begin with. Maybe you could just make something up and forget this stupid plan altogether.
“Teach you?” He prompted, smiling down at you. He was patient, allowing you to collect your thoughts before you continued, but in the brief silence, his mind wandered. Maybe you wanted to learn how to drive a motorcycle? Takeomi was okay, but probably not the best teacher.
This was about setting yourself free from this decade-long crush, for better or for worse. With your next words, it would be over.
“Teach me… how to make a guy feel good…” It comes out barely above a whisper and mumbled, and he thinks he heard you, but there’s no way he heard you right. You wanted to crumble into a little ball at your own words.
His eyes widened a bit before his brow furrowed, “Could you… repeat that for me?” He asked, wanting to make sure he heard you right.
You deflated for a second, not wanting to repeat yourself at all. The air left your lungs the second you uttered those words, and asking you to say them again was too much. You were beginning to feel lightheaded and your mouth was dry. Taking a steadying breath, you forced yourself to meet his eyes.
“Shinichiro, I want you to teach me how to please a man.”
Oh.
He heard you right then. His mouth opened, but then closed again, finding that he was unable to speak. His face didn’t give you any hints as to what his thoughts were other than his surprise at your request.
After a few seconds passed by, you broke the silence. “Say something, at least…” You urged, the quietness playing at your anxiety worse than anything else. You could accept whatever answer he gave you, you just needed to hear it.
“G-Give me a second.” He held out his hand before bringing it up to his mouth as he thought. He glanced at you, and after another moment, asked, “Why do you want me to teach you that?”
You winced slightly, looking to the side before sighing. You took a few steps forward, away from Shinichiro, before taking a seat at the edge of your bed. You’re hesitant, but you explain, “I’ll be starting college soon… and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I don’t know—it’s embarrassing. Take-nii’s too strict and—”
And I’ve only ever had a crush on you… the thought goes unspoken.
You sighed before continuing, “I’m just worried that I’ll meet someone and I won’t know what I’m doing and they’ll dump me or make fun of me. Most people I know have already lost their virginity. I haven’t even had my first kiss.”
He didn’t say anything right away, instead taking in your words and contemplating them. You felt the mattress sink down at the added weight as he sat next to you. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, not until he said something first.
“[Name],” He started, placing a hand on your shoulder, “ Your first time should be with someone special.”
“You are someone special.” Shin’s eyes widened slightly, and you both looked shocked at your statement. “I mean—” You inwardly cursed yourself. This was supposed to be a casual proposition, and you were baring too much of yourself, “I feel safe with it being you. You’ll always be in my life, no matter what. Some pushy college guy I date might not… then I’ll just feel bad about it. If it’s you, I’ll never regret it. I trust you.”
Once again, Shin went quiet in thought. You weren’t stupid. You knew Shinichiro was almost two years older than you, he’s known you since you were a snot-nosed five-year-old, and he was best friends with your older brother. He’d likely never seen you as a potential love interest, and this was probably super sudden and out of nowhere for him.
“Like I said, you don’t have to if you don’t want to, of course,” You stated sheepishly, backing off when doubt began to set in, “I’d never want to make you uncomfortable or anything like that. I just wanted to ask you first because I trust you the most… and I don’t really hang around any guys besides you, Wakasa, and Keizo, so…” You trailed off contemplating your next words, “I can always ask Wakasa, it’s no big deal. Though I feel like he’ll never let me live it do—”
“Don’t ask Waka.” Shinichiro cut you off with a frown, pausing for a moment before adding, “You’re right. He wouldn’t.”
You nodded, a breathy laugh leaving you, “Yeah. That’s why he was my second choice.”
Another silence fell between you, though this time, it was Shinichiro who broke it.
“You know that I’m not really all that experienced either…” He spoke tentatively, pulling at the collar of his shirt, “If this is something you’re really set on, I’m not sure how helpful I’d actually be. You sure you’d want me to teach you?”
You were both facing each other, eyes scanning the other’s face in search of something. This was your first actual glimpse of a yes, and it made you question if you were sleeping or not. Of course, you knew you were very much awake and that you were going to have to answer his question. After some thought, you nodded, both to yourself and the boy in front of you.
“You’re the person I’d feel the most comfortable with, Shin. And… I can teach you what girls like too. I mean— I haven’t really explored that much… I’ve done some things, I know what feels good, but—” You shook your head, cutting yourself off, “What I mean to say is, we can teach each other. It’s mutually beneficial.”
Your cheeks felt like they were burning and you fought the urge to bury your face in your hands or one of your pillows, though you weren’t the only one. Shin’s cheeks were visibly tinted red. You wished you could tell what he was thinking. You were beginning to feel hopeful, that there was actually a chance that Shinichiro could be interested in you, that he was capable of seeing you as more than Takeomi’s sister.
Shinichiro gave a short nod, acknowledging your words, but there was still one thing gnawing at him, and he shared that concern with you, “There’s still Takeomi. I think he’d beat even my ass if he knew I was sneaking around with you, y’know.”
Takeomi being your brother was the reason you met Shinichiro to begin with, but as you’ve always feared, it would remain the biggest reason you could never be with him. You loved your brother, but you cursed your relationship with him.
“I think yours is the one butt he wouldn’t kick for it, if I’m being honest…” You chuckled, though it left a bitter feeling within you. You often wondered how Shin would treat you if you’d still known each other for as long as you have, but you weren’t Takeomi’s sister. Maybe now was as good of a time as any to finally ask… “Hey, Shin, if I wasn’t Takeomi’s sister, would you still be so hesitant?”
He didn’t give you an answer verbally, but his eyes betrayed him.
You pressed softly, “My brother doesn’t have to know… it’s not like we’d be dating or anything, right? Just friends learning together…” You leaned closer to him, feeling a bit more confident now, “I’m an adult now, Shinichiro. You are too. I don’t have to ask Take-nii’s permission and neither do you. I’m my own person. So, what do you want to do?”
Shinichiro mirrored you, deflecting your question back at you, “Are you sure this is what you want?”
You blinked, and once again found yourself locked into a questioning eye contact with him. You were slightly taken aback by his question. Of course this is what you wanted. You were the one who asked him. You gave a small, but firm nod, “Yes.”
Shin swallowed, taking a deep breath and letting it out, “Okay then,” He nodded, “I agree to be your “teacher”.”
You felt like you were floating. You’d been fully prepared for rejection, yet—
“But,” He stated, cutting off your thoughts, “I don’t wanna rush into anything too major right away. Small steps, alright?”
“Right.” You replied hastily, clearing your throat before continuing, “I agree. Taking things slow is for the best.”
You were both completely inexperienced in this field, and it entirely showed. Neither of you knew where to go from there, but you were the one to initiate this, so you knew you had to bridge the gaps.
“So, what would be okay right now?” You asked reluctantly, studying his expression carefully.
His eyes flickered down for a split second before meeting your eyes, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. He thought for a moment, before somewhat bashfully suggesting, “Kissing… should be fine, right?”
Your breath hitched for an instant, your chest fluttering at his words as you shakily replied, “Yeah, that would be okay.”
Shin nodded, moving closer to you on the edge of the bed. You were hyperaware of his movements as he reached his hand out, a finger gently hooking under your chin to tilt your face toward his. His eyes searched yours a final time for any sign of dissent, but when they fluttered closed, he finally pressed his lips to yours. You melted into the action, hand coming up to rest against his shoulder as you returned the kiss. Everything seemed to slow aside from your pounding heartbeat. You felt like your body was buzzing.
Shinichiro pulled away after a few more seconds passed, both yours and his eyes slowly opening to meet one another’s. Soon after, he let out an airy laugh, and you couldn’t fight back the smile that made its way on your face.
It was perfect.
And you were greedy.
You were the one who leaned in this time, your nose delicately brushing against his before capturing his mouth in a kiss. Your lips moved against his, and he responded in kind. It was a little clumsy at first, but you both found and fell into a rhythm. His hand came up to cup your cheek, and you couldn’t help but lean into its warmth.
You couldn’t believe it. You were in your bedroom kissing your childhood crush. It felt like a dream, and when you pulled back, he was looking down at you with parted lips. His hand traced down your neck like a feather, making you shiver. .
You kept up your appearance, though you felt warmth enveloping you as you quietly questioned, “How was that…?”
“That was… wow.” Shin chuckled softly, using his other hand to brush his hair out of his face. He looked down at you thoughtfully, eyes twinkling mischievously as he began to lean in again, “But more practice never hurt, yeah?”
His kiss was still gentle, but there was a bit more force behind it this time. You leaned into Shinichiro, your hand finding its way into his hair, running through it and making him hum into the kiss. Your mind went blank and so you allowed yourself to run on autopilot, doing what felt right in the moment. Whenever one of you broke away from the kiss to catch your breath, it didn’t last long until you fell back into it.
His hand found your waist, and you were filled with the desire to get closer than you already were. You placed your hand back on his shoulder, the other one pushing you off of the bed and further into Shinichiro, deepening the kiss. Reading your movements, Shinichiro pushed himself further back with his feet, giving you more room to climb onto his lap. His hands snaked around your waist to help steady you.
You pulled back slightly, just enough that your lips still brushed against his as you shifted your weight, both of your hands on his shoulders as you made yourself more comfortable in his lap. As you pulled yourself closer to him, one of Shinichiro’s hands snuck to the back of your head, pulling you back into another heated kiss.
You felt a bolt of electricity pass through you when you felt his tongue gliding against your bottom lip, his arms trying to pull you in even closer. You let him take the lead, allowing him to deepen the kiss even further, your hand sliding down to his clothed chest. Despite his bold move, you could feel his heart pounding against your palm, and it comforted you knowing he was possibly just as nervous as you.
His hands were hesitant as they glided up and down your sides, slowly making their way up, but hastily falling back down to your waist once they’ve gone “too high”. Feeling a bit bold yourself, you grabbed one of his hands, moving it up toward your breast and giving it a reassuring squeeze. You felt him stiffen slightly, taking is a small gasp of air against your lips. You allowed your own hands to travel, finding the bottom of his shirt and sneaking underneath until your fingers ghosted his stomach. Shin let out a small groan.
His hand gave your clothed breast an experimental squeeze, swallowing the little whine that escaped your lips. You arched into his touch, and Shinichiro began to softly knead at the area. You felt like you wanted more, like you needed it, and that scared you.
You broke apart again, both of you panting as your eyes met as his and hand fell back to your waist. You weren’t sure how much time had passed. It could have been ten minutes or an hour and you’d be none the wiser. Neither of you spoke, taking a minute to soak in what just transpired between the two of you.
“Was that okay?” You asked once the silence grew to become too much for you. It was half joking, half serious, anxiety about your performance nibbling at you.
“More than okay,” He let out a breathy laugh, “You’re perfect.”
His praise made you feel shy all of the sudden, and you found yourself burying your face in his neck, mumbling out a quiet, “shut up”. He must have been teasing you again.
He chuckled again, and you could feel it, “I’m serious, though. You’re cute, too.”
You sulk a bit. This was too good to be true, there’s no way Shinichiro was actually saying this to you after all these years. You shuffled a bit on his lap, putting more weight on your left side to give your right side a break. Shinichiro’s grip on your waist tightened a bit, letting out a small groan as you rubbed up against him. You could feel Shinichrio tense up underneath you.
Was that…?
You paused, devious ideas beginning to play around in your hazy mind. Your confidence was boosted just enough for you to press your lips against his neck, purposefully repeating your earlier action. He took in a sharp breath, his hips pressing harder into yours as he pulled you against him.
“Fuck… [Name]—”
You nipped at his skin, careful not to be too rough on the sensitive area. He sighed softly, rolling his head back slightly to offer you more room. It looked like you already found a weakness of his. You continued to grind your hips down on his, the friction forcing small whines from your throat, which you muffled by burying your face deeper into Shinichiro’s neck. Wanting to hear the sounds, Shinichiro nudged your face out of hiding, only to crash his lips into yours against yours in a hungry kiss. You could feel your wetness gathering in your underwear as his cock continuously rubbed against your core.
Slow? Did he say that?
He pulls your hips against his again, his clothed cock grinding perfectly against your clit causing a breathy moan to escape you. He swallowed your moans, repeating the action again, and then again, practically drunk on your little noises.
“Shin, please…” You whined against his lips. You don’t know what you’re asking him, you just know you want more.
He presses one last needy kiss against your lips before pulling away, his hands finding the bottom of your shirt, “…’m gonna take your shirt off now, darlin’. ‘s that ok?” He asked breathily, lidded eyes meeting yours as he awaited your answer.
“Mhm.” You hummed, nodding readily, moving back slightly to give him easier access.
Your shirt is halfway up your torso revealing the bottom of your bra to him, and you were in the process of raising your arms to make it easier for him when the sound of the front door opening and closing, followed by your little sister’s excited shouting interrupted the two of you.
Both of your eyes widened as you looked at each other, Shin pulling your shirt back down with a start as you immediately sprang into action, jumping off of his lap. The two of you were likely thinking the same thing as you smoothed out your appearances.
How did you let it go that far knowing your brother was coming back home soon?
“Shoes off in the house, you guys know this.” You heard Takeomi fussing your younger siblings before calling out, “Shin? [Name]?”
You’re already on the floor, scrambling to turn on your TV to a blank screen, pressing the button on your PlayStation to see which game was inside. You could do this. You can totally make this look innocent.
“We’re in my room, Take-nii!” You call back, causing Shin to send a worried look your way. It wasn’t like there was a chance you could discreetly slip out of your room, so the best thing you could do is look like the two of you were just hanging out.
You shoot him back a reassuring glance as you grab one of the controllers on the floor, unrolling it and handing it to him as you explained, “Take-nii has always been really strict, so sometimes… y’know, I’ve just learned to get away with some things. Nothing bad though!” You assured quietly, “So, just let me handle this.”
“That’s… good.” He replied hesitantly, “But you should try not to lie to your older brother too much, okay?”
You purse your lips, “Huh? What’s that? You want me to tell him you were about to take my shirt off a minute ago?”
“...Good point.” He conceded, holding up his hands in surrender. He readjusted his pants, grateful that they were baggy as he watched you continue to paint the scene. He heard his friend’s footsteps as he walked down the hall.
“Ok, hand me the controller,” you whispered, holding your hand out. He raised his brow slightly, but did as you said, leaning over to hand your controller back to you, just as the door to your room opened to reveal Takeomi. You turned with a smile, “Hey, Take-nii, that took you a while.”
“You know how grandma is,” He sighed, letting out a small laugh, “So, what are you two up to?”
“We got tired of waiting, so we played some Street Fighter for a while. Figured you’d be back soon though, so we just finished up.” You replied with a shrug, rolling up the controller and placing it in front of the console.
“[Name], we wanna play!” Senju exclaimed, pushing past Takeomi and bounding up to you. She jumped on your back, arms hugging around your neck as she pleaded, “Please!”
“Senju you’re choking me out, sweetie.” You struggled out, tapping on her arm and prompting her to release you with an apology, hugging up on your side instead. She was way too strong for someone her age.
Takeomi spoke up from behind the two of you, lightly scolding, “Senju, that game isn’t really something girls your age should be playing.”
“But it’s [Name]’s game and she lets Haru play it all the time.” She argued, tilting her head with a small pout causing your brother to click his tongue. You’d be hearing about that later. She pulled at your shirt, “Can I play it, please?”
“Do you have any homework?” You asked, petting her head as you looked down at her, “We can play whatever you want after we get that done first.”
“Awww. Okay…” She pouted again, letting go of your side
“Can we set the PlayStation up on the big tv in the living room?” Haru mousily asked from the doorway, peeking in from behind your older brother.
“Hmmm,” You tapped your chin in thought before grinning at your siblings, “Well, since you asked nicely.” You watched as their faces lit up, Senju cheering loudly as you pushed yourself up from the floor. “But homework first.” You reminded, beginning to shoo your younger siblings out of your room, patting Haru’s head when you reached him, “Come on, your big sister will help you.”
You always offered to help them with their homework whenever you and Takeomi had them after Senju told you that she understood better when you explained the material than when Takeomi or grandma did. Usually, the three of you could get everything done fairly quickly, that way they could spend the rest of the evening relaxing or having fun.
“I’ll let you have Shin back, Take-nii,” You tossed over your shoulder, watching as Shinichiro stood up from your bed and walked over to your brother, “I’ll keep Haru and Senju busy and give you guys your space.”
“Look at you, being a good kid for once,” He joked, reaching out to ruffle your hair as you’d done to Haru, but once again, you swatted his hand away.
“Not a kid, old man.” Your tone was as light as his, but he tsked, giving you a disapproving glance.
“You could be a little more respectful towards your older brother in front of our younger siblings, y’know. You’re setting a bad example.” He chastised, and you sighed.
“Sorry, sorry,” You waved him off, following your younger siblings out of your room, the two older men walking out right behind you.
Haruchiyo looked back at you hesitantly, and you sent the boy a poised smile. As he got older, more tension seemed to form between Haru and Takeomi, and it didn’t go unnoticed by you. It got especially worse after his accident. You were closer in age to Takeomi, so it was easier for you to wave him off like that, but you knew Takeomi’s strictness weighed heavily on Haru at times, and you tried to do what you could to give him more freedom.
Both Senju and Haruchiyo grabbed their backpacks from the sofa, carrying them over to the dining room table where they unpacked their homework while Shin and Takeomi continued to visit on the couch in the living room. You sat at the end of the table, helping whenever one of them had a question and checking their work once they finished an assignment. Luckily, neither of them had much to do, so you were finished up after only twenty-five minutes. You did catch Shinihiro glancing in your direction every now and again, making your cheeks feel warm.
It didn’t take long after she was finished putting away her school supplies, that Senju was at your side, reminding you what you promised them.
“Alright, I didn’t forget. You two go sit and wait on the couch while I get everything set up, okay?” You instructed, shaking your head fondly as Senju bolted to the living room, Haruchiyo calming following after her. As you passed, you made eye contact with Takeomi, clasping your hands under your chin discreetly, only the two older men seeing it. He rolled his eyes but shrugged nevertheless. You’d still hear about it later.
“Need help?” Shinichiro offered from the couch before you disappeared into the hall.
You peeked back at him, giving him a careful smile as you waved halfheartedly, “Nah, I’ve got it. Thanks, though.”
It was… strange, having to act like nothing occurred between the two of you not even an hour ago. Anxiety began to bubble in your chest, but you pushed it back. You had a task at hand and siblings counting on you.
You unhooked the wires to your PlayStation from your TV once you were back in your room, lazily wrapping the wires around the console and placing both controllers on top as you strolled back to the living room. It didn’t take you long to hook everything back up on the larger tv, handing each younger sibling a controller and letting them unravel them. The cords weren’t long enough to reach the couch, so they sat on the floor as Haru booted the game up for his younger sister.
You plopped down next to Shinichiro, the three of you watching the two children fight it out on the game, the sound of buttons mashing on the controller and Senju yelling filling the room. The three of you occasionally made commentary.
It didn’t go long before a tournament started. Senju and Haru talked it out, deciding that they would fight first followed by Shinichiro and Take-nii. The two winners of that would then fight, and whoever won that match would have to fight you, the owner of the game, A.K.A. (as Senju put it) the final boss. You didn’t have the heart to tell her that the main reason you bought the game was for her and Haru, so you probably weren’t the best, actually.
Senju and Haru’s match was a close one with both characters down to the last of their health but ultimately ended in Senju’s victory. You patted the spot next to you for Haruchiyo, patting his shoulder once he sat down. Shin and Takeomi were next, both men sitting down on the floor with Senju behind them. Unlike the neck-to-neck match that took place before them, this one was a one-sided massacre on your brother.
Takeomi cursed, handing the controller to his youngest sister who took his spot. He was never good at fighting games. He claimed his spot back on the couch, glaring over at you before you could even say anything, knowing what was coming.
“You—!”
“Not one word, [Name].” Takeomi cut you off with a scowl, and you opened your mouth in mock shock.
“Sore loser…” You grumbled out, crossing your arms, only Haruchiyo sitting next to you hearing your words.
You, Takeomi, and Haruchiyo watched as the next match started. Shinichiro’s character got the first few hits in, but one failed connect was all Senju needed to turn the table in her favor. It was a surprisingly close match for the first half, but after both characters were at half health, Senju caught a second wind. Your eyes were glued to the screen as Senju’s character continued to beat Shin’s down, quietly cheering your sister on.
“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon…. YEAH!!” Senju jumped up, controller falling on the cushion she’d been sitting on as she cheered.
“Ha, you suck, Shin!” You giggled pointing at the older boy and watching as Senju hopped around in celebration, “You got your butt kicked by an eight-year-old.”
“What can I say, she has me beat.” Shinichiro chuckled with a modest shrug, pushing himself up and holding the controller out to you, “Your turn, [Name].”
You stood up from the couch, fingers brushing against his as you took the controller from his hand. When Senju found her spot back on her cushion, you sank down next to her.
“I won’t show you any mercy, [Name].” Senju declared as she selected the same character she’d used in the previous matches.
You scrolled past the first few characters, picking one that you knew you were pretty good with, nodding in her direction, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
When the match began, Senju was quick to advance, landing a few hits before you managed to jump over her character, launching a counterattack until a quarter of her health was down. You let her get a few good hits in, deciding you would fight seriously once you were a little past half-health, though you threw a few punches to make it look realistic. Even once you started playing for real, Senju didn’t relent in her vicious assault until your character was K.O.ed.
“I’m the champion of the tournament!” Senju announced, running around the coffee table in a fit of excitement before sliding back next to you.
“You really got me,” You praised, rubbing the back of your neck, “Good job, Senju.”
Shinichiro gently poked your back with his foot, causing you to stiffen before turning around. He couldn’t help but tease, “What were you saying?”
You grinned, reaching out to wrap your arm around your younger sister’s shoulders, bringing her into a half hug. “That my sister kicks butt!” You declared, causing her to burst into a fit of giggles.
Haruchiyo hopped off the couch and was at your side in seconds, “I wanna play you next!”
You turned to him, your grin never faltering as you accepted his challenge, “You’re on, Haru.”
The five of you took turns playing until Takeomi declared it was time to get dinner started, and after they ate it was bath and bedtime for the kiddos. Knowing what that meant, you stretched before making your way over to the kitchen. You’d already decided on what you’d be making tonight since you knew Senju and Haru were gonna be over, and luckily it didn’t take too long to prepare.
“Shin, are you gonna be staying for dinner?” You asked before you stepped out of the living room, wanting to know how much you would need to make for everyone to get enough. It wasn’t rare that you ended up feeding Takeomi’s friends every now and then, though you never minded if it was Shin. He never complained about your cooking.
The older boy looked over at the clock on the wall, wincing slightly when he saw the time. It wasn’t especially late, but he promised Manjiro he’d stop by on his way home, “I should… probably start heading home soon.”
“Oh, ok,” You tried not to let your disappointment show, but you brightened up, asking, “Do you wanna grab a drink from the fridge before you go?”
He studied your expression before nodding, “Sure.”
He followed you into the kitchen while Takeomi worked to calm Senju down, unplugging your PlayStation from the TV and entrusting Haru to place it back in your room for you to set back up later.
There was a lot to talk about, but you both knew that now was not the time for it, so you opened the fridge, grabbed what you needed to cook, and placed it on the counter before grabbing a drink for Shinichiro and handing it to him. As he grabbed it from your hand, you looked at him, lowly whispering, “Call me?”
His eyes widened slightly, but once he processed what you were asking he gave a firm nod.
“Take too long and I’ll call you,” You teased quietly before raising your voice to its normal range, “Alright, well I’m gonna get started on dinner then. Be safe on your way home, ‘kay?”
Shin chuckled, shaking his head, “Yeah, I will. See ya later, [Name].”
“Bye, Shin.” You waved, watching as he made his way out of the kitchen, tossing one last glance your way before he walked back to the living room to tell your brother goodbye.
They chatted for another minute or so while you worked on getting dinner ready, though you couldn’t make any of it out until they walked past the kitchen and towards the entrance, both friends saying their short goodbyes to one another as Shinichiro slipped his shoes on.
You heard to opening and closing of the door that signified Shinichiro’s departure, and you took a deep breath, letting it out and allowing yourself to deflate a bit. You were both left with your own thoughts as Shinichiro exited your home. Despite your deflation, your chest bubbled with all kinds of emotions. Excitement and anxiety were at the forefront, though it was difficult for you to differentiate them right now.
You weren’t sure what Shinichiro was thinking, but you couldn’t help but wonder if his thoughts were similar to your own at this moment.
Wow. That really happened.
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