Guess who has another analogy about being ace :)
An Analogy
You think you don't strike me as beautiful?
Have you ever had your day paused by a chance look at the horizon?
Have you ever had to stop mid routine to marvel at the beauty of a setting sun?
Have you ever looked out longingly at that shifting sky desperately clinging to each moment you have in its presence?
I have.
I have been frozen by the throws of such beauty
I've seen the sun paint the sky and not wished to change a thing about it
And I've watched that scene change anyway and yet lose none of its perfection
I've been brought to tears knowing such beauty exists
I've stared desperately at the light touching the clouds, and tried to hold that moment in time, knowing that no memory or picture could ever do it justice
The sun has truly owned me in those moments, my attention incapable of being anywhere else
I've been heartbroken looking away for even a fraction of a second, knowing I can never get that instant back
I can feel all of that so intensely that it hurts.
Yet at no point in my captivity to this nascent twilight
Have I ever felt the desire
To fuck the sun.
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i'm actually really upset at the watcher "fandom"
y'all seem like a lot of fair-weather fans to a group of guys who have consistently put out shows that you love, you've gone to their live shows, you've bought their merch, you've followed them over the years as they've grown and built their own brand
and then when they come out to say "hey, we're proud to announce the next big step for us as creators, producers, talent, and directors," you fucking scream and rail and throw a fit because they are launching a paid service that allows them MUCH more creative control and freedom while also supporting their staff in a more sustainable way???
that's sick and pathological, and i wonder how many of y'all were blogging in support of the wga/sag-aftra strike, because if you were and you're pitching a fit now? check yourself. not fucking cute to say you support those folks and then bitch and moan when your so-called favorite creators take the initiative to support themselves in a way that they feel more confident in.
"but we liked the old content that looked like it was made in a basement and the blue and yellow text and--" okay, did you ever think that maybe?? MAYBE???? the guys wanted to do something better??? if you really supported them, you'd be in support of their creative ambitions, too.
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this is sort of pathetic, but when you were younger, you were sort of puzzled by the cartoon representations of fathers: how a kid would be outside with a mitt, waiting to play catch.
it's not that your father never played catch with you, but you also didn't like when he did. something about a hard ball coming quickly towards your face doesn't seem exciting. not that you'd ever say you don't trust him. you trust him, right?
it's not like he never tried to teach you anything. or never tried to parent. on rare days, a strange person would walk in your father's skin. bright, happy, magnificent. this version of your father was so cheerful and charismatic that you would do anything to keep him. and this is the version of your father that would laugh and gently coax you try again. this is the version of your father that would break down the small elements of a problem and point them out so you have an easier time with them.
as a kid, those days happened more often. but somewhere around 11, you started being too much of a person, and he was often cross about it. when he'd try to sit you down to learn something, you spent the whole time with your shoulders around your ears, nervous, uncertain. terrified because you didn't immediately understand how to navigate something. worried you will run out of his goodwill and then you will have the Other Father back, and you will have ruined a good day for your entire family. something about you being visibly afraid - it just made him angry. he would accuse you of not wanting to learn and storm away.
on tv, it's not like there's a lot of versions of men-who-are-mostly-fathers. they can be good dads, but usually their stories are not told in the household. so it's normal that your father is there, but he's never around. you know he was in the house, somewhere, it's just not that you guys ever... "hung out". he just seemed to get kind of bored of you, annoyed you weren't made in his perfect image. frustrated with how much energy it took to raise a kid. over time, you kind of adopt a bittersweet band around your throat - he knows nothing about me. he says at least i never abandoned my family.
and it's technically - technically - true. he was there for you. sometimes he even made an effort and made it to the big moments; the graduations and the dance recitals. he grins and tells everyone that he taught you. it almost erases the days in between, where he complains because you need a ride to school. the weeks that go by where he doesn't actually ever speak to you. the times you say i am struggling and he says figure it out on your own. i can't help you.
and that's fine! that's all fine. you can call him if you are having a problem with your car. or if you need a ride to the hospital. he loves playing hero, he just doesn't like the actual work that comes with being a father. and you've kind of made your peace with that; because you had to, because you don't want to live your life like he does; the whole world at a managed distance, a little rotating and controlled orb he can witness and take credit for but never truly love.
as an adult, you are rewatching some dumb cartoon - and again, the child standing in the rain, with a mitt, waiting for their father to come play catch. as an adult, there's this strange creeping dread - this little thing? this little thing, and their dad can't even show up for that? oh god, holyshit, it's not about the mitt, is it. oh god, holyshit, your father spent most of your life leaving you hanging.
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aphmau's attachment to aaron is so random. she had so much build up with laurance and garroth and didn't fall for them, but then this guy shows up, she knows nothing of him and is all "oMg wHEre iS PooKiE??? 😰😰" FYM "POOKIE"???
forever upset with jason and what he did to the story.
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this fandom pairs gavin and the rk900 dude like theres no tomorrow, which is lovely, follow ur bliss, happy for you. i want that same energy for north and kara. they are sampling from parallel water wells, they are running on similar batshit frequencies. north like 'what if we blow their ass up' (iconic of her) and kara like 'i'll run straight into high-velocity traffic man i'll fucking do it' (and then she did it) like these two women. repeatedly exposed to apathy, violence, cruelty. repeatedly wiped of their memories to keep them passive in the face of constant abuse. what if they met and held hands and raised alice to be their madmax pipe-bomb slinging baby . anyone.
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still not over the absolutely braindead take that "if you say brutalism looks dystopian, you care more about your aesthetic than people having homes!!!!"
like
can't criticize Shein or you must want their workers to be unemployed
oh you don't like that restaurant? guess you want the people eating there to STARVE
fuck both roses AND bread; nutrient-dense gray EnergyCubes would keep you alive so wishing for a better sensory experience is basically capitalist bootlicking
(I agree that considering Soviet-era brutalist apartment buildings in the context of "shit we need housing; put something up quick" is important for those specific structures- though I think that can coexist with "wow that's ugly" -but. this person did not stop there)
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