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#but I think they're all steps in the right direction and that's what matters
neoplatinum · 3 months
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til' death do us part - part 1 | minatozaki sana
summary: sana minatozaki walks right into your life with a marriage license.
pairing: heiress!sana x reader
themes: arranged marriage au, fluff, angst, tension, lots of elitism, conglomerate power-hungry side characters, implied sex
wc: 5.0k
(series masterlist)
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"the minatozaki's are waiting." you stare at the contract in front of you, frustrated at the idea of the family visiting. they sent the contract to you two weeks ago, and you knew that they were expecting a response, as in a signature. but here lays the contract on your coffee table, left to collect dust.
"let them in." you sit up from the couch, adjusting your shirt. you watch the maid let them in, timed steps in the long marble hallway. you hear their presence before you see them. then you see the matriarch of the minatozaki family step into the room. her head held high and proper, like a leader.
she reminds you of your own mother: the sharp tongue, quick judgements, and inability to let go of grudges.
then walks in sana minatozaki, the only heiress of the minatozaki group. she is not a stranger at all, but you havent decided if she is a friend or foe. when you were both younger, annual balls were centered around her. she always took those events in stride, while you enjoyed sticking by your mother's side.
you often remember watching sana dancing with anyone who would ask her; even from afar, you knew she was someone that everyone awed at. they treated her attention like a prize worth attaining.
"hello mrs. minatozaki and ms. minatozaki, please have a seat." you direct them to sit on the opposing couch. "how may i help you?"
they both get situated while you sit by yourself, feeling the weight of the minatozaki power firsthand. you watch your staff rushing to present them with tea, only for the two to dismiss them quickly.
"yes, we sent over a contract earlier last week, please sign it." the matriach points at the contract on your table.
"yes well, it is a marriage contract, a legally binding one. i need time to think it through."
"what is there to think through? you get to marry into the minatozaki group, and solidify your business with the backings of our family, i see no reason that it's empty now."
you frown at that, those were the exact words your own father told you over the phone, you called him immediately after receiving the contract, he told you the same exact thing, ending the call immediately after.
you dont disagree with the benefits, you would just rather marry someone else. someone that you could be in love with, not sana minatozaki.
"mrs. minatozaki, as much as i understand the power and backing of your family. i am rather old-fashioned. i only believe in marriage out of love." you nod solemnly to the older woman.
she lets out a trained laugh and holds her daughter's hands like they're her prize and tool. "love? you don't think that you could love my daughter?"
"mrs. minatozaki, i didn't mean it in that way-"
"so, what way did you mean it? my daughter sana," you say, watching as her daughter stands up from the couch, tall and proud, just like her mother, and smiling at you in that coy smile. "she has a line of suitors far longer than you could imagine; you should reconsider."
"mrs. minatozaki' please if i may-"
she holds her palm up, completely stopping you from speaking. "enough. here's what we're going to do: a three-month commitment. truly court my daughter for three months, and if you can honestly tell me you aren't in love with her, then i won't bother you with this matter for any longer."
"mrs. minatozaki, i think this is a completely archaic idea!" you exclaim, shocked to hear her say these plans. how quick she is to decide for her daughter's life.
"watch your tone. do not forget that your mother and I are well acquainted." she points her finger at you, and in a split second, she's back to that trained smile that is always so unnerving and threatening.
"i'm very sorry mrs. mintatozaki, please forgive my rudeness." you bow deeply at the woman. you return to your trained demeanor, letting mrs. minatozaki run your life for the next three months. who knows what she'll say to your mother if you decline?
both women get up promptly at the matriarch's signal, and you rush to walk them out of the manor. their resounding footsteps echo through the halls. the matriarch continues speaking of the three months of "dating," and you nod at every word in appeasement.
you assist them into their car, and soon they speed away from your manor. leaving you frustrated in your own driveway. by the time the sun has set, you finally return to your room.
--
the thought doesn't bother you anymore, while you were nervous at the idea of the minatozaki's pressing you on this marriage, you had gotten way too swamped with work.
in a week's time since the visit, you were giving a big presentation to shareholders and clientele. countless nights spent languidly going through the motions of collecting data for infographics and reports to extrapolate data. all part of your stressful day job.
a job that you take pride in, to take over the family business. dedicating years of your life to build the rapport needed for your father to put the company in your name.
you begin to wrap up on your final slide, indicating the prosperous quarter that your company has been seeing. beautiful graphics that display profit margins through the roofs. in every chair of that conference room sat a wide smile at your future projections.
"we expect to see a projection of 33% from our previous annual profits, along with more assets, and with the likes of a possible acquisition, this company will continue to flourish. thank you all for today." you conclude your presentation and smile to the many shareholders. they all stand and applaud you; you take a deep bow and shake hands.
the shareholders hound you, all gathered around in suits that costed more than the average house. they only bowed to the sound of money dropping into their pockets. so they push you, push your boundaries of how much you'll let them take.
mr. seki has always been the most persistent, asking for more money than he knew how to spend. so he stands before you, eyes twinkling and his grubby hands rubbing together like he found a gold mine.
you listen to him speak of the golden days with your father, business had little to regulations, making money was easier than breathing, but now he breaths down your neck for bonuses. the words travel in one ear and out the other, he forgets that you were a young child listening in to his discussions with your father.
before you know it, you hear that sharp clicking sound, the sound of sharp hard rubber hitting the tiled floor, you hear heels. short confident steps of a woman, and then you see it through the frosted glass, a womanly figure.
she's walking right into the conference room. then you notice the details: long brunette hair in waves, branded sunglasses atop her nose, a light pink suit adorned with blinding diamonds. behind her are bodyguards that tower over everyone. everyone's conversation stops at the sight of her, she stops right in front of you.
eyes strong and daring, she slips off her glasses and you recognize her, the woman of all your friend's dreams: sana minatozaki. more confident than ever, not being guided by her mother, she smiles that smile that you know your friends swoon over. delicate fingers slip off her glasses as she hands them to her assistant. eyes still focused on yours.
then she does it, grabs ahold of your tie, and slams her lips against yours. and you can hear it faintly, the sound of the shareholders all gasping, drowned out by the sound of your own heartbeat. the searing kiss lasts so long, like a time loop. when she pulls back, you gasp for air, choking and doubling over coughing like you inhaled chili powder. all your presentation material spilling on the ground.
"sorry to cut the festivities short, gentlemen." she bows lightly, an amused smile underlying her sarcasm. "my fiancé and i have things to attend to, i'm sure you know how demanding your wife can be". she giggles at that, letting them all nod, and disperse.
"fiancé?" you cough out, still catching your breath. sana grabs ahold of your hand and drags you out the conference room, and out to the elevators. you watch her two bodyguards at your feet, ready to intervene with broad and thick builds.
they remind you much of your father's bodyguards. but you never wanted them because it just felt so unnatural to be followed by men who protected you.
sana stands before the elevator, and without missing a beat walks in, at the sound of the door opening. you get pulled by the two bodygaurds into the box. now you stand next to a smirking sana and two men who could break your spine ten times over.
you exit into the lobby, all the staff rising to their feet at the sight of you and miss minatozaki. greeting you all, as you rush to follow after sana. you have a sinking feeling if you don't that those two men behind you are going to toss you right into the ocean. right outside of the lobby, is the sight of the signature black marked sedan. a true sign of a minatozaki. like the fortress of a family, this car is far than capable of withstanding a nuke, how true this statement is? you never want to know.
sana is quick to sit herself inside, being guided by her chaffeur. you nod to him before sitting inside, seperated by the middle seat. the door closes and suddenly you feel claustrophobic.
the last time you spoke to sana was years ago, back in law school, you never did like her clique but they were everywhere. so you have interacted with her through case studies and presentations, steering clear of the intimidating minatozaki group. so much for avoiding them, now you're stuck in a car with the exact person you were avoiding all your life.
"mother is furious." she comments, grabbing her heels off her feet, tucking them into a compartment. you stare at her for a while, confused with what she means. "well?"
"miss minatozaki, i thin-"
"sana. just sana please." she corrects you.
"miss sana, please, you cannot barge into my shareholder meetings and attack me like that. that was unacceptable on all levels." you continue. loosening the tie that felt like it was choking you when she grabbed it. you slip it off your neck and into your pocket.
"i thought mother made it clear her expectations. you sign that marriage license, and we're good." she continues to correct you, disregarding your frustrations.
"sana. i apologize but i have been swamped with work, i cannot even begin to think about marriage." you complain.
"work? you marry into the minatozaki group and you'll never lift a finger. those infographics you put together were cute, but the minatozaki's never put themselves through work they can pass off to others. marry in, and we'll find a suitable ceo the second you say so." she is everything you stand against, a figurehead as the ceo is the last thing you want for your budding company.
"i think you are mistaken, miss sana. this company is me, i am this company, that will not change if i marry into the minatozaki group." you don't waver for a second, conviction running through your blood.
she smiles at that, "you are one of those. the ones that are married to their work before anything else." she takes a second to contemplate this thought, what would you bring to the minatozaki group? profit, drama, not a headache that's for sure.
"i'm going to let you in on a secret," she leans her head towards you. "like how you are married to your work, i am married to wealth. doesn't matter if you have a million mistresses, or a thousand bastard babys. as long as you don't smear the minatozaki name, you will fit right in."
"i do not think so miss sana. the minatozaki's are adamant about blood purity, they don't let bastards live." you explain. she smirks at that, you've clearly done your research about the minatozaki clan. "miss sana, please, me marrying into your family would not beneficial to you. i am too concerned with my own self to be a pawn for your clan." you finish, hoping they will let this issue to rest.
"you seem to know a lot about our family for someone who isn't interested marrying in." her eyebrow shoots up and with the snap of a finger, the bodyguard hands her a manila folder through the slit of the window.
"once again, we urge you to sign this. i hope we become lifelong partners, fiancé." she winks and steps out of the car. speaking to the chauffeur, and soon you're being driven by the minatozaki car, another car ready for sana in an instant.
now you're left with a manila folder, weighing heavier than anything else in the world. when you are sit in your armchair with the manila folder, nursing a nice drink to unwind, you finally untie the manila folder. opening the contents, you find the same contract on your coffee table. signed with sana's signature in the bottom, and another paper.
in a written letter from your own father, you nearly crumple the paper in your own hand. the clauses of placing your company in the hands of your father, all shareholder signatures at the bottom. indicating the removal of power. in another line it reads in big bold letters, date sana for three months or your company will be absorbed by your father.
you call up your father.
"father, this is ridiculous, you cannot do this to my company. why are you meddling now?"
"you insolent child, given the opportunity to grow your business, you choose instead to be selfish? i present to you the opportunity of a lifetime: marriage into the minatozaki group. and i've been told you're pushing their patience." his deep voice rumbles into the phone. "my final words are these: you want your company so bad, prove that you are committed to the minatozakis, then i will transfer the power back." he firmly states.
"i don't even have the time, father. my schedule is busy with the new year and final changes with new clientele."
"i've already spoken to your assistant, all work for you the next three months have been transferred to my coo. he will take over for the time being, i trust him to run my own company, so don't you go spouting nonsense about his credibility." you bite your tongue at the sight. how dare your father meddle in your company? one that you built up with your own hands. the only piece of yourself that wasn't controlled by your father.
"do not forget who raised you. i can take everything away." his voice booms through the speakers. he ends the phone call there. and you throw that phone like a baseball, shattering the device into pieces.
--
so you do date sana for three months, finding it absolutely absurd in the beginning. often visiting her wherever she traveled. when she was busy, you would send out bouquets in your absence. you tried your best to date her, devoting time to getting to know her better. she's like you remembered when you were younger, loud rambunctious and had an eye for all things expensive. you spent trips all over the globe within those three months.
it's a strange feeling. letting yourself rest, you can't remember the last time you went on a vacation other than in law school. here you are, lying in a lounge chair on a private beach in santorini. drinking mai tais while you stare into the horizon. confused with your own life right now.
it should've been the merger. you get antsy just at the idea of your father's coo leading the merger, but what can you do. that company is not "yours" right now. while you are trying to enjoy the sight of the bright sun and clear waters, you watch out of the corner of your eye as sana flirts openly with a resort worker.
hand on his bicep, leaning in to show more cleavage, all the while keeping a sultry smile on her face. you're done letting your life be decided for you. you walk over.
"hi honey, how is it going?" you smile towards her, leaning in for a quick kiss. holding her neck in place, as you watch the man walk away. you let her go.
"jealous?" she smirks.
"no. i need answers." you sit down in front of her. "why me?"
"what do you mean why me?" she sips on her cosmopolitan, not provoked by the question.
"why marry me? my father is well known, but we are not a conglomerate group, why do you wish to marry me? i provide nothing to the minatozaki group, it doesn't make sense. there's the watanabe clan, the abe clan, the ito clan. i really don't understand why my family."
"it's not your father or his companies, it's you." she points at you. still sipping her drink. she doesn't skip a beat, no hesitation in her words.
"i hold no power on the world stage, you would be well off marrying any clan." you try reasoning with her, beyond perplexed on why she chose you.
"the watanabe clan are dirty: plagued with dirty lust, the abe clan are ruthless killers, the ito clan has been known to kill their woman. so tell me, how much better off i will be marrying them?" she continues. face hardened.
"i see...they are not as great as their name." you stare at her. less perplexed but definitely confused.
"we all grew up together, all the heirs, i know them better than they know themselves. and i do not like what i see. but you and i didn't speak to each other." she signals for another cosmopolitan, thanking the staff member and digging through her bag. pulling out photos of you two when you were children at the annual balls.
"you are worlds better than all of them combined. i could see it in the way you never vied for my attention. they all were intact dogs, hoping to hump something by the end of the night."
"sorry for the assumptions," you offer. the way she looks away from you, watching the ocean. and letting out a long and heavy sigh. she tucks the photos away. "so, marriage out of convenience? is that all this is?"
"yes." she nods.
you grab the contract from your bag, signing it in front of her. and then placing it in her hands, "to a happy marriage sana minatozaki, i hope you can handle my snoring." you laugh.
she grins at the contract, and tucks it into her bag. "then i hope you can handle my kicking. you groan jokingly and laugh loudly, her joining you.
--
minatozaki weddings were no joke. halls lined with marble pillars with gold accents. dishes made out of the finest and purest porecelin. waiters dressed in their finest, not a single hair out of place. global leaders and their children attending, even if they had no ties to the minatozaki.
the grandiose hall with beautiful mirrors dating centuries ago. recovered artifacts from the edo period, adorning the shelves. the giant minatozaki family crest on the back wall. with long tables lined with wedding gifts. you stand next to sana as the reception procession continues into the night. many notable figures congratulating the marriage. as well as the intricate gifts being handed off to you. each gift being placed and documented by the minatozaki security team.
the minatozakis look happy, wearing traditional kimonos and inviting all the guests to talk about their daughters marriage.
even though the place is filled with laughter and happiness, you can't help but feel like you just entered a loveless marriage. where you are destined to avoid sana, she smiles at everyone, showering in the attention, while you can't wait to get back to work.
--
you had explained to sana you wanted a quiet honeymoon, one that was peaceful and relaxing. so you both went puglia, to enjoy the rich Italian culture and the beautiful greens and blues of the water.
sana spent nearly ever second of the day buying herself clothes while enjoying pestering you. often times dragging you along to carry her bags, and be at her beck and call. she calls it "conditioning for a happy marriage." you had rolled your eyes when you heard it, but you wanted a happy marriage too so you complied.
now you stand in the middle of puglia, taking photos of sana, at her request. for the third time that day.
"how many photos do you need sana?"
"as many as i want. stop talking, more clicking!" you get back to taking photos and letting her enjoy the scenery. it's quite nice being with sana, she may be a bit high maintenance, but she doesn' t overstep when it comes to your boundaries. letting you enjoy your own alone time and venturing through the city alone.
sometimes you bring back flowers or a small gift to her, all of which she happily enjoys with a warm smile.
--
after the honeymoon, its back to the real world. in which your father happily returned the company back to you. the merger had been successful, but you're still catching up on paperwork that only you could sign. in the coming months, sana has moved in.
living together has become a routine. when she moved into your manor, she claimed it was a nice change from her home. you were confused because her house was far more amenities, but you let her move in.
so, every morning and night, you spend time with her, sleeping in the same bed, drinking the same coffee, and sitting at the same dining table. you don't share more than a few words with her, but her presence has become a nice addition to your life.
she's made herself comfortable, her makeup products all lining your sink, heels filling the floor of the closet. her closet so big that she ordered construction to build her own walk-in.
often times you see her out lounging in the sun room doing yoga or pilates. or when she's in a good mood, she'll join you in your study room to do work herself.
she goes out at night frequently, so you make it a habit to stay up until she gets home. you know she's protected and safe with her trained bodyguards and chauffeur.
it just brings you a sense of comfort to bring her inside in case she's unwell. some nights she gets home with love bites all over her body, other nights she comes home drunk falling into your arms. you never comment on it.
she comments on your life first.
"do you...have someone special in your life?" she asks with a glass of wine in hand. you look up from your table, eyeing her in the doorframe.
"no, i'm married to my job." you look back at the work laid out for you, pushing glasses back up the bridge of your nose.
"have you slept with a woman before?" you stop your work, putting the pen down.
"sana, are we asking about each other's sex lives now?"
"well i can be curious, cant i? you always look so proper." she walks in to sit by you.
"well, yes in the past i have." you comment, a little thrown off with the line of questions. she nods her head and gives you her wine, you sip it and place it on the desk. "why do you ask?"
"we've never consummated our marriage, don't you think it's time?" she leans over, eyeing the work on your paper.
"what happened to marriage out of convenience?"
"marriage out of convenience could mean we're sex partners out of convenience," she smirks. she stands up, pushing the paper off to the side. you raise your eyebrow, trying to get her to stop messing with your work.
"sana."
"yes?" she takes the glasses off your face. a coy smile on her lips.
"we don't have to do this."
"i want to. do you?" she stands in your way, eyes trained on yours. a playful smile on her face. you get up to set your mind straight, no way were you sleeping with your non-wife.
"sana, please, you must be drunk." you walk past her, calling out to staff. "hi, could you please assist sana to bed." sana scoffs at you, flipping you off and pushing past the maid.
you return to your desk, eyebrows pushed together and a headache forming. but you can feel that spike in your stomach, you're sexually frustrated.
--
you've been actively avoiding being too close with sana. whenever she circles around, you scoot further away. opting for open spaces where she won't make sexual advances. rejecting her isn't fun either, she gets all pouty about it, but the way she makes you feel lately, has been dangerous. so you try your best to exercise restraint.
in the coming weeks it's harder and harder. some days she visits with your dress shirts tucked into a pencil skirt. walking in like a wet dream into your office. you will yourself to have self control but you can feel it slipping. the way you want to grab her, feel her skin under your fingertips, wanting to wrap around her.
today she manages to get under your skin. "darling, you must be so tired." she slides behind you. and starts massaging your shoulders, pressing the knots away.
you let her, feeling the tension release from your shoulders. her hands move expertly, and soon you feel more relaxed than ever. her hands begin to wander, sliding over your torso and frame. you turn to look at her, playful eyes staring back at you. you pull her into your lap, grabbing her neck for a kiss.
"i think it would be rather impolite of me to have our first time here in my office. maybe later?" you offer, playing with her pencil skirt.
"i don't care where we do it, as long as we do it now." she smirks and plays with your hair. you pull her up and place her atop your desk. walking quickly to close the door and drop the blinds.
she laughs when push her back, back hitting the desk, and then you lean over her. giving her a long kiss, before sliding your hands up her legs.
"come take what yours." she grins. you begin unbuttoning her shirt, hands trailing down until they reach her hips.
you kiss her fervently, moving towards her like a magnet. "yes miss minatozaki."
--
you might have to label yourself a sex addict, maybe a sana minatozaki addict actually. after sleeping with sana, you can't keep your hands off of her. often messaging her and taking days off to be around her.
it's unlike you, so unfocused and nonchalant about work. but you can't help it, sana feels like a drug and you need your supply. so here you are in your study, trying to clean up the smell of sex before your mother-in-law arrives. sana's an absolute vixen and trying to coax you into another round, but you know at any second her mother will walk into the house like its her own.
you spray a scent over top of the room urgently before closing the door behind you. a clingy sana kissing you deeply, trying so very hard to get you in bed with her.
"sana, no. your mother will be here any second." you force yourself to be the bad guy, pulling her arms off of you. to which she flicks your forehead.
"sana!" the sound of her voice booming like it's through a speakerphone. sana immediately tenses up, posture straight like a board.
"hi mother."
"glad to see you still recognize me." her mother chastises her. you watch the two woman, and you stay quiet. letting sana speak to her mother in a hushed tone, while you stand nearby.
it's hard to get a gauge on sana's mother, she's fierce and demanding. you also can't tell if she likes you, she keeps her distance. but you also can't tell if that's a good or bad thing. oftentimes she shows up requesting your presence at her events. but you play the part well as much as you can.
the older woman walks towards your living room, where she was months ago, and requesting you to marry her daughter. now she moves around your home like it's her own.
"now that you two have been happily married, it's important to discuss the next step." she starts. "we need heirs, multiple."
you and sana look at each other in horror.
"sana was the only heir in her generation of minatozaki's, i need you two to produce more than a single heir. to protect the minatozaki clan." she states firmly.
you groan into your hands, horrified at the conversation. and for the first time you see the matriach smile as she shows off photos of sana as a baby, cute as a button.
it does make you wonder about having a little sana running around, so you take the conversation topic in stride. letting the matriarch discuss traditions, schooling, extracurriculars and education to maintain the minatozaki standard.
sana is horrified to hear all this from her mother, but when she leaves, a light bulb turns on in her brain. then she smiles at you in that knowing smile.
"honey, come on, you heard my mother. we have to produce heirs. you know what that means?" then she wiggles her eyebrows as she drags you upstairs.
and you let her.
--
a/n: sana, sana, sana. she's been plaguing my mind recently. hope you enjoyed, proofreading is difficult work so i didn't do it. stay safe and stay healthy everyone!
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vexwerewolf · 1 month
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I’m suddenly getting swathes of Lancer hate across my feed… Has something happened in the fandom? “Union is ______ how could they paint them as even remotely good. They allow _____, and I hate the devs they are ______. The whole thing is just 40k with communist veneer”.
Like am I taking crazy pills…? I thought that all of the problems were literally like right there on the tin “we are a utopia in progress! We will obtain it by any means possible even if it means being everything we say we are not/fighting against. As the player you decide what is right. How much will you ignore for someone else’s idea of utopia?” Like doesn’t it mean all the tools to actually change are there and that is the HOPE aspect of all of this?
(Sorry if this in incoherent grammar is a weak point and I pulled something in my back simply standing up. Now I am sad and crook backed in spasmodic pain)
This isn't an argument I feel super enthusiastic about stepping into, because it gets the most annoying sort of people in your mentions eager to maliciously misrepresent what you say.
However, yeah, there are some pretty terrible readings of Union floating around. I'd invoke "media literacy" because think that a lot of this comes from people not really holistically engaging with the fictional future history of Lancer, but also from a sort of dogmatic purism that requires future societies to be flawless, else they're irredeemable.
It is important to note that ThirdComm is the direct descendant of two highly imperfect societies. FirstComm was formed as a response to the Three Great Traumas of discovering the Massif Vaults (and thus that they were the inheritors of a fallen world), the wars over the Massif Vaults, and the discovery of the lost colonies, all of which collectively showed humanity how close it had come to total extinction.
FirstComm decided that it had a responsibility to ensure that humanity never risked extinction again. It manifested this by trying to colonize every habitable planet it could find, pumping out ship after ship to seed the cosmos with as much human life as it possibly could. This led to problems when it encountered civilizations like the Karrakin Federation and the Aun, who had been carrying humanity's torch just fine by themselves, thank you very much.
SecComm was an Anthrochauvinist fascist state. The book defines it thusly:
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We can see a lot of Anthrochauvinist historical romanticism in the mech naming schemes of Harrison Armory, SSC and IPS-N - the fact that Harrison Armory names its mechs after great military leaders of pre-Fall Earth history, IPS-N does the same with naval figures, and SSC uses the names of Earth animals. Even the GMS Everest is named for a mountain on Earth. It's very Cradle-centric.
Anthrochauvinism was, to be clear, largely just an excuse for colonialism and hegemony. Atrocities could easily be justified under by stating that whoever they're being committed against were a threat to the Continuance of Humanity - a term that SecComm got to define.
It's also at this point that we have to zoom in from broad sociopolitical points to address one very specific piece of history: the New Prosperity Agreement. This was signed to prevent the outbreak of a Second Union-Karrakin War, and mandated that the Karrakin Houses would maintain privileged levels of autonomy within Union, and that they would be granted colonial rights to the entire Dawnline Shore. This agreement, struck in 3007u, basically defines much of the current political situation today.
ThirdComm was a final and inevitable reaction to the atrocities, abuses and excesses of SecComm. The unspeakable horrors of Hercynia were the spark, but I need to stress how little Hercynia actually mattered in the larger Revolution - at the start of NRfaW, it's explicitly stated that almost nobody in the galaxy even knows where it is, let alone what happened there. The Revolution was a generalized response to SecComm's tyranny, with no single rallying cry.
The Revolution might also have failed entirely, but for a critical error by Harrison Armory: pissing off the Karrakin Trade Baronies. After getting kicked off Cradle, the Anthrochauvinist Party organised a fleet at Ras Shamra to try and retake Cradle. Simultaneously, however, they were attempting to secure protectorate agreements to steal worlds in the Dawnline Shore out from under the KTB. Putting these two together and making five, the KTB assumed that the fleet was pointed at Karrakis, and started the First Interest War.
The First Interest War initially favoured the KTB. They smashed the fleet above Ras Shamra and simultaneously conquered the moon of Creighton in the Dawnline Shore. However, they underestimated just how ruthless Harrison I was - he "retook" Creighton by relativistic bombardment, and then conquered four of the 12 worlds of the Dawnline Shore with mechanised chassis, a technology the KTB had not adopted and had no counter for.
To prevent further loss of life, Union was eventually forced to broker a peace agreement that saw Harrison I handing himself over to Union justice in return for Harrison Armory's continued sovereignty, and the KTB joining Union as a full member state.
So, with that historical context out of the way, let me get to the second part of this absurd essay I'm writing.
Third Committee Union isn't a civilization that arose from whole cloth. It's shaped by five thousand years of Union history, six thousand years of post-Fall history, and six thousand years of pre-Fall history before that. It is, ultimately, an extremely well-thought-out and well-worldbuilt fictional polity, in that all of its imperfections come from traceable root causes in its history.
Why does ThirdComm permit the abuses of the KTB? Because to stop them, it would likely have to go to war, and such a war would butcher billions. Worse, to do so, it would probably have to ally with Harrison Armory and make horrific concessions.
Why does ThirdComm permit the expansionism and cryptochauvinism of the Armory? Because to stop them, it would likely have to go to war, and such a war would butcher billions. Worse, to do so, it would probably have to ally with the KTB and make horrific concessions.
Nobody in CentComm likes that Harrison Armory are empire-building expansionists. Nobody in CentComm likes that the KTB has a hereditary nobility and enforces blockades against planets that rebel against it. The problem is that ThirdComm is, in historical terms, still relatively new. They've been around five hundred years, and compared to the 1600 years that SecComm was around and the 2800 years FirstComm existed for, that's not very much.
ThirdComm is attempting to decouple itself from the Cradle-first politics of its predecessor, and to amend the many, many atrocities committed in the name of Humanity. It is not easy to do any of these things. SecComm was defined almost entirely by the fact that if it didn't like what you were doing, it would send in the military as a first response. Every time ThirdComm chooses to do the same, its legitimacy erodes, because the mission of ThirdComm is to prove that diverse, vibrant and compassionate human civilization can exist without devolving into war and bloodshed. ThirdComm always tries diplomacy as a first response because if it doesn't, millions of people could die.
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moonsaver · 2 months
Text
Iris family!reader back at it again! Here's part 2 of this, which was VERY incomplete because tumblr decided to bust on me and upload it while i was still drafting!! I think this part might be more confusing, so feel free to ask about it right away!
Taglist is at the end of the fic hehe
-
Aventurine has an eye for craftsmanship. And very good ears.
You recall vividly. That's the first thing he mentioned about himself when he first introduced himself to you.
You know it's not a coincidence he's reaching out to you. Especially after a meeting with Mr. Sunday, which is his direct, formal contact with the Oak Family. You, on the other hand, were a direct, informal contact. The fact you were barely a notable singer in the plethora of talents Penacony held wasn't what mattered to Aventurine. Neither did it matter that you were from the Iris Family. Because to him, you were a one-way ticket to Sunday's mind. 
It's also no coincidence he's decided to drop by after he sees the wide open door of your room.
“I've heard well about your station, friend.”
He makes himself comfortable on the stiff couch of the hotel room, the fabric wrinkling and the frame creaking from the shift in weight.
“I.. don't need your help. I’m fine.”
“Can't hurt to always have connections, keeps you afloat, birdie.”
“Don't tell me that. I don't need any more. I've had enough.”
Aventurine smiles, and leans back into the couch, one of his arms lazily resting on the couch's and the finger of his hand tapping the top of his knee.
“Your earrings are the talk of the town, y'know?”
Your hand instinctively shoots up, and your fingers ghost the lobe of your ear. You're not wearing any at the moment.
“Is that so..?”
Your body language is jittery. Your hands keep fidgeting. Your lips hurt from the constant chewing, your finger rubs your earlobe.
Aventurine fiddles with his own, and gets up. He walks over to you with slow, easing steps.
“There's a cute little section in a few tabloids about those earrings. There's also a little fact that your ears burn red when you lie.”
Aventurine stands in front of you.
“That can't be right. It's totally bullshit.”
He chuckles at your response. He leans in, slowly, his breath ghosts the shell of your ears. The oddly sweet scent of expensive, exotic wine line his cool breath over your skin.
“There's also been that whole buzz about The Watchmaker's Legacy.”
The close proximity renders you paralyzed – many thoughts run through your head; should you push him away? Should you step away instead? Snap back at him?
You feel his gloved finger busy itself with your ear. A snap resounds loudly through your ear, and his hand retracts. So does he.
Your agitated gaze lingers on his smug face, and wanders over to his ears. They're red.
“I'll give you some advice – you should try and take advantage of chaos.”
His hand raises slightly, and his fingers barely kiss the skin of your elbows. It snaps something in you, and you immediately move to step back.
His other hand shoots up and grabs your arm in response.
“We can help each other, can't we, little sparrow? A glimpse of that man's mind is enough for me. I'll help you keep your family all safe and sound.”
“I– don't care what you have to offer. I am not taking that risk! This crap about The Watchmaker, I'm not having it! Find someone else to bother!”
Aventurine's smile widens, his eyes stare down at you. The concentric colours are almost hypnotising.
“Relax. The game's only started, I'm sure there's enough time for you to analyse the situation and pick a side. And things will fall into place all in due time.”
A knock.
Both you and Aventurine snap your heads to the source. The door creaks open.
Sunday stands, composed. His knuckles linger on the polished wood of the door for a few more seconds, before his hand falls to his side. His other hand holds a black, velvet bag.
You forgot to take that back.
“It seems we meet again.”
Aventurine hums.
“Are you perhaps.. unhappy with your current circumstances?”
“No, I'm.. quite pleased with it. Please, don't take anything to heart. I was fervently denying all of his offers.”
Sunday chuckles softly.
“I understand. Please, be at ease.”
-
Sunday knew what lied in store for him when he became a part of the Family.
As their long-burdened history, all of them were to join and form an impenetrable force, decorating the Dreamscape lavishly for those who had the privilege to deny reality. 
Which was ironic.
It was comically ironic.
Such was their torment.
As eagles rip and gnaw the liver of human emotion, such was the painful symbolization of human strive. And this was a neverending story. A neverending performance of a traitor, prisoners and a false dream. A Death that surely extracts the price for all that has been done. A price that grows thick over the bones of each generation, for daring to dream together, for daring to yearn for freedom.
Some knew of this history. Most were not privy to it.
Sunday tells you in passing, as his gloved fingers gently drop the velvet bag in your hand. You suppose it was simple small talk.
A beat of silence passes.
“Ah, I may have fed a false fact to that Tabloid.”
You look up at Sunday.
“Im sorry?”
“I wasn't aware of whether or not your ears turn red. They were eager for a harmless fact, and I conjured up something on the spot.”
“Oh, they.. approached you directly?”
“They first approached Robin, to be exact. I arrived just in time to answer a small question. My apologies for making a hasty decision at a presented opportunity.”
You blink a few times.
“Ah, well.. not like it can be helped now but.. please be careful. One thing tends to lead to another.”
“I've taken note of that.” his eyes focus on the lobe of your ear.
What's he looking at..?
Your hand cautiously reaches up to your ear. Aventurine's earring?
“Oh, um.”
You break out in a sweat, and your shaky hands immediately remove it. You look at the flashy, teal accessory. Then you look at Sunday, gauging his reaction.
He smiles. Perhaps that fact wasn't false.
“I suggest not striking a deal with Aventurine. I can assure your family's security.”
“Oh, I know I just–”
“The Family does not take dealings with the IPC lightly.”
You stay silent.
He sighs, and his gaze seems to soften for a moment. His gloved hand reaches out and tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear.
“Apologies. The Charmony festival is coming soon. Extra measures have been established. Please, approach me instead.”
His voice softens at the end.
“I.. understand.”
Sunday thinks a change of your career is in order.
A brand new start, a better title, a better colleague.
Somewhere along the way, most of Penacony's more enthusiastic visitors were in the know about you. Your popularity settled comfortably on event lists, and Sunday was steadfast in his promise.
However, there's now an increase in work. Particularly, working late at night with Sunday.
Your job now had strict parameters you didn't have in your former station. Deadlines, reports, even hearsay playing an important role. Although, for once your rusty luck has come into play, and Sunday is much more fair to you than any other manager that you could have been working under, if it weren't for your decision to become a singer.
That being said, the public now saw less of you, which instead soared rumours about you and increased your popularity more. You aren't sure how to thank Sunday – he only gives you a closed eye smile whenever you decide to at least verbalise your gratitude.
“Ah, you should take a look at this.”
Sunday beckons you to come closer, pointing and curling his index finger towards you. You oblige wordlessly, and with a few swift clicks of your shoes, you stand right beside Sunday, leaning a bit to take a better look.
His finger points to several figures in the document, and you hum, eyes scanning through the neatly organised words.
“Does this mean I'll get significantly busier?”
“You best prepare, as per my suggestion.”
You sigh, a bit dramatically, and Sunday chuckles.
“My apologies. I know I've already asked for a lot from your end. I shall support you equally.”
“That's.. well, alright. I was just worried about something else.”
You avoid his eyes, discomfort creeping up on you, as those rumours swirl in your head. 
“Be at ease, tell me.”
“It's.. the rumours surrounding me. They're not serious but, recently they've taken a strange turn of events.”
Sunday hums. He gets up, and walks towards a bookshelf, his fingers slide over their spines, and stop at a specific book. You continue,
“It's– um.. quite strange.”
Sunday pulls out the book, and opens it, sifting through the pages with familiarity.
“It was just about the earrings at first but they took a bit of a bizarre turn.. they–”
Sunday snaps the book shut,
“About us. Yes. I've heard.”
You blink a few times.
“They're..”
His fingers trace over the book's cover, before sliding it back into its place.
“Rumoured relationships between us, the debate about work ethics, and the whole lot. Yes, I'm well-informed.”
He turns to you. His all too familiar smile still on his face. His golden eyes seem much more intimidating than they used to.
“They'll die down. I can assure you they are of no importance. However, it helps with your exposure doesn't it?”
He turns his back to you, continuing to look at you over his shoulder.
“They will fizzle out in due time.”
You suppose Sunday is familiar with rumours. But this time, it is only particularly because he created them.
The robin chirps and twits inside its golden cage.
“What's this?”
You smile, a finger gently tapping a bar of the delicate cage,
“It's a robin. I hoped it would guide you during practice.”
You chuckle, and Sunday smiles, both of your eyes fixated on the bird that's chirping and curiously tilting its head at you.
Sunday's encouraged you to practice singing more often inside the office. You've gotten off of your formal duties very late, and as of recent you've scarcely had time to practice. Sunday's insistence led to you often humming and practicing in front of your dressing table. It took a while, but you eased into it fairly well. 
Sunday, on the other hand, enjoys your singing more than he lets on. He finds himself humming to your tune every so often, once you've left and no other ambience fills the room. Perhaps that's also one of the reasons he's brought a robin bird to you.
You sing a simple tune, and the robin follows. It chirps happily, and you giggle at its strange antics. And thus, whenever you aren't present, the bird sings in your stead.
It's not soon before the robin loses its vitality, however. A gilded cage is a cage nonetheless.
Your voice was dampened that day. But Sunday had a plethora of ideas rush to his head.
Something's been wrong with your voice as of recent.
You've avoided any strange drinks, even foregoing any kinds of juices, only opting for water. You avoid even spicy foods, settling for blander dishes. Sunday assures you it's nothing to worry about – even Robin faces challenges with her voice sometimes.
You're at your best, only in Sunday's office.
Everytime you sing, your voice flows smoothly, and you hit every note perfectly. It's wonderful, if it weren't for the fact your voice didn't seem to hold this effect outside of his office. You came to this realisation late at night when you tried singing in the bathroom to yourself, your voice kept tapering, and even stopped at some points. The doctors all assured you things were fine, and at best only prescribed some throat medicine. You wonder what's been going wrong.
Sunday isn't ignorant of your recent concerns, either. He seems to be taking it in stride.
The golden cage is on your dressing table, empty. You stare at it, thoughts swirling in your head. What went wrong? Where? Why? What did you do? 
Sunday's familiar gloved hands place themselves upon your shoulders again. It's a shame. He says. What is a robin without its voice? He says. It echoes in your mind for days. 
“Take a break.” one of his gloved hands make it's way to yours, folded in your lap. He brings your knuckles up to his lips, whispering assurances into it.
“It'll be fine. I'll take care of it.” He kisses between the valley of your knuckles,
“Don't worry. Help me out with the rest of the documents, and we can take a look at your voice after.”
You don't say anything. Maybe because you can't.
-
“Hmm.. your voice tapers too much at the chorus.”
You sigh. You've lost count of how many times you've had to repeat this song, your voice simply cannot seem to hold true to the chorus that's planned. Sunday flips another page of a long-winded document, and sets it down gently on the table, looking up at you when you sigh and only hold onto the mic with disappointment glazing your eyes.
“Have a seat. Perhaps a break may help you.”
You hesitantly oblige, but sigh again, deeply, as the muscles of your throat ache with the strain and relaxation. You sit down at the makeshift dressing table Sunday managed to prepare for you. His courtesy, of course.
You shuffle around it – your dressing table isn't actually much different than Sunday's office desk. It's littered with event planners, schedules, and all sorts of graphs and figures. Your hands lazily pick up a sheet and scan over it, choosing to at least distract yourself while you give your raw throat a rest.
You hear a muffled creak behind you, followed by a few, small footsteps. Sunday stands behind you in the reflection. His hands gently come up to your hair, fingers running through it and fixing it.
“Some members of the Family – particularly the Nightingale Family, wanted to extend their gratitude to you. You've been arduously managing the crowd and shifting their gazes away from the construction work.”
You hum slightly, your eyes unfocused on the words. Sunday's touch seems to leave you dazed, or rather conflicted, these days. 
His fingers leave your hair, and rest on your shoulders. He leans down, his lips graze the shell of your ear. His soft breath tickles your skin, and forms goosebumps.
“And I am.. personally grateful to have you working alongside me.”
Your eyes wander on your table. They avoid his gaze through the mirror's reflection.
“I also.. intend to help you, further than before.”
His voice grows softer and lower, descending into a whisper. One of his hands move from your should to the middle of your collarbone, a lone finger drags up to the middle of your neck. Your breath hitches.
“Mr. Sunday..?”
“It's alright. We needn't be so formal.”
Suddenly, a splotch of colours blur your vision from the corners. You hiss, and groan, immediately burying your head into your hands, striking pain pulses through your head. You close your eyes in efforts to relieve yourself, but it doesn't cease.
“Perfect Harmony.. Order.. it doesn't come easily. Allow me to assist you in reaching that.”
You breathe heavily, the pulsing ache in your head slowly subsides, but the colours remain persistent.
“Sunday..?”
“My dear, let us rejoice. A new chapter of your life has begun. Your family can find ease. We- no, I, can take care of them. Of you.”
You swallow thickly, dread pooling in your stomach. The finger on your neck trails up your neck and pushes your chin upwards, forcing you to face your reflection. The side of Sunday's face is pressed to yours, your eyes are dazed, but his have never been so clear, and bright.
“Just do as you've always done. This is simply to bolt your loyalty, my dear.”
Sunday kisses your cheek, his wings gently flutter on the other side of your face. You close your eyes. The pain subsides into something more blissful, calming. Your body relaxes almost against your will.
Your voice has been perfect as of late. As long as you don't sing for anyone.
Which is to say – you're rendered useless in the grand scheme of Penacony. This terrifies you.
Your family has never been more vulnerable.
What is a robin without her voice? It echoes irrevocably in your mind, the question awaiting an answer. Nothing responds. Nothing, responds.
Empty ballads accompany the marble walls of the hallway leading to Sunday's office. His back is turned to you, his fingers sifting through the spines of familiar books on his shelf. His wings slightly flutter every time your voice hits a high note. Your voice was pitch perfect whenever you sang in his office. Anywhere else? It was a bust. Robin also tried her hand at comforting you, but the tapering edge of her voice only concerned you. An emanator of harmony relied completely on just that to sustain her voice. She'd lost it completely otherwise.
Your lips are raw from the constant biting. Your family tries assuring you they can also pull together scraps and bits to keep themselves afloat; that you've worked hard enough, and you need your rest. Sunday assures their security as always. He's stopped commenting on your concerns with your voice.
“Sunday, my voice..”
“Perfect, my dear.”
He's grown more familiar with using pet names instead of your name. You don't remember exactly when the transition took place.
“No, it's.. I can't sing anymore. I can't perform.”
“Ah, is that so?”
Sunday's deft fingers write something down on a scrap of paper, holding the book open in another hand.
“Not to fret, darling. The public awaits your performance in due time. Take a break for now, and focus on paperwork.”
It does more to discourage you, really.
“I don't know.”
“I know.”
Sunday places the book down gently on his table. He looks at your seated figure, illuminated by the warm light of his office.
Sunday wanted the best for Penacony. But when it came to you, he couldn't help but be greedy. Your voice was beautiful to him. He feels bad, raining on your parade like this. But there's endless amounts of performers who can take your place. There's only one of you who can catch his eye, however.
An empty cage is reminiscent of a happy bird. But a chirping robin is reminiscent of a happy man. Your lost voice still echoes well through the halls, resounding through the marble structures.
A gilded cage is a cage nonetheless. A happier bird is one that does not realise its cage. Sing to your heart's desire in it, he thinks. 
Your head falls to your hands again, blurring splotches of colour blaze through your vision and head again – a familiar, aching pulse resonates in your head. Your voice feels trapped. Sunday walks to you, and places a hand on your back, rubbing gently to soothe you. The colours disappear, leaving you in a daze. Sunday leans down to kiss your forehead, relaxing your furrowed brows.
It's true. You've proven it. A bird that does not realise it's true confines. You may be unhappy, but you sing your throat raw, and Sunday is your only audience. Parameters will only get stricter, but it's for your own good. He assures you endlessly, leaving out that one piece of information.
A robin without a voice is nothing but a dull bird. You, without yours, are just his.
-
Taglist: @sharkiethrts @sarcastic-cookie
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sanguineterrain · 2 months
Note
Would you be willing to write a Jason Todd x reader inspired by the bulletproof vest scene from Criminal Minds? Maybe it's early in their relationship and they're fussing after hearing he's been shot. Maybe with an annoyed Damian breaking up their flirting?
(Here is the scene if you don't know what I'm talking about!! youtube.com/watch?v=C2bjYavXWec)
Haha this was such a fun prompt! Thanks for sending 🩷 I love prompts inspired by tv scenes
jason todd x gn!reader. minor injury, fluff, suggestive/implied nsfw, making out, implied timkon
****
Jason opens the door, looking extra comfy in his GU sweatpants and a Wonder Woman t-shirt. His curls stick up in fifteen different directions, making him look like an overgrown chick.
You'd coo if your heart hadn't been in your stomach all night.
"Hey, ba—"
You launch yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck. The force of your embrace makes Jason stumble back a step. You suddenly remember his injury and reel back.
"Baby, what's goin' on?" His eyes are wide. Jason holds onto you, inspecting you right back.
"I'm so sorry!" you say, hands fluttering over his body. "Oh God, did I reopen stitches? Fuck, fuck—"
"Sweetheart." Jason places both hands on your shoulders and guides you away from the door. He kicks it shut with his foot. You both settle on the couch. "What're you talking about? Are you okay?"
"Am I okay?" You sit up. Jason rests his head on the back of the couch, watching you. "God, Jason, you got shot! I heard you caught fire this morning so I got here as quickly as I could. Did I reopen stitches? Be honest because I swear to God, Jay, if you lie to me about that..."
"Honey. Oh my love. Y'know I'm crazy about ya?" Jason holds your face with both hands and squishes your cheeks. He's smiling. "I got shot in my bulletproof vest. No stitches required. Who told you I got shot?"
You take his hands and hold them to your chest. "Well, I was listening to the comms 'cause I can't sleep when you have overnight missions and—"
"You haven't slept all night?" Jason frowns. "Baby, you need to sleep."
You scoff. "None of that matters, Jay. What I'm hearing is that you still got shot!"
"'S not a big deal, honest. Just a few bruises. Leslie wrapped me up, see?"
Jason lifts his shirt. His ribs are wrapped in an ACE bandage. You feel around for a secret wound.
"No blood?" you ask, poking at the edges.
Jason laughs and catches your hand. He kisses your knuckles. "No, sweetness. No blood. 'S just a little sore." He lets his shirt fall. You're only a little disappointed by the loss of his bare skin.
"Why would Bruce send you out in a bulletproof vest? Of all the stupid—usually you wear your armor! That's actually bulletproof! Vests are bullet-resistant. That's like saying Gotham rats are toxin-proof. Just because they don't die from the Joker gas anymore doesn't mean they aren't higher than kites when it happens."
Jason kisses your cheek. It turns your insides ooey-gooey. He's always so warm, so solid.
"Mm. I'll call Merriam-Webster tomorrow and relate your beef with 'em. And to answer your question, I was undercover, so no armor. But I am fine. Okay?"
"I'll be the judge of that, mister."
You hike his shirt up to his neck and pat down his chest. Jason honest-to-God giggles, which only encourages you. You pinch the soft skin under his biceps, then kiss down his sternum. He squirms, sliding so he's lying on the couch.
"Tickles," Jason says, letting you love on him.
"Excuse me, sir, I'm trying to conduct a very serious medical examination," you say, biting your lip to keep from laughing. "I think I'll need a closer look at these."
You kiss Jason's right pectoral, and his face flushes pink like it always does because you know how sensitive he is there and how his sensitivity makes him shy. Your mouth grazes his nipple and a tiny grunt pushes out of his throat.
"'M just a piece of meat to you, huh?" He catches you with a hand on your hip.
You smile and nip his neck, careful of his bandage. Jason's breath hitches.
"Please, baby, show mercy. Want me to get on my knees an' beg? I will."
"Sir, that is highly unprofessional language for this procedure. I'm afraid I'll have to give you an oral exam to see what's causing that filthy mouth of yours."
"Yeah, I'll show you filthy," Jason murmurs, cupping the back of your head. "Let's see how filthy y'get when I—"
"Oh my God, stop."
"Todd!"
You freeze with Jason's mouth on your neck and your shirt rucked up. Tim and Damian are at the edge of the living room. Tim looks nauseous. Damian's mouth is shriveled like a prune.
You scramble off of Jason, mortified, and smooth down your shirt. Jason leisurely turns his head, still holding onto you. He sighs.
"What d'you brats want?"
"To erase the last sixty seconds from my brain," Tim says.
Jason grins, all teeth. "That can be arranged."
You roll your eyes. "We're sorry, guys. Did you need Jason?"
"Yes. Father wants you back at the Cave immediately for debrief," Damian says, glancing at Jason's exposed bandages with tangible disgust.
You tug down Jason's shirt. His mouth quirks briefly before he registers his brother's request.
"Oh, hell to the fucking no. I got back two hours ago. Tell him to fuck off."
"I think you tell him enough for all of us," Tim says. "It's just a debrief. Babs started timing him and he's been good about keeping them short."
"He can email me. I'm not going to the Cave for a damn debrief."
Tim squints at Jason, then you. "I see. You know, you're awfully energetic for someone who should be recovering. Leslie benched Dick the last time he overexerted himself."
Jason raises an eyebrow. "I wouldn't be speaking about exertion after what you and Connor did at the Kents' fourth of July picnic last year, Timbelina."
Tim somehow turns more pale. Damian whips his head around.
"Drake? What is he talking about?"
"Nothing. C'mon, Damian, let's go. Jason can debrief later."
He hauls a protesting Damian out the fire escape. Jason waves after them.
"Uh-huh, take care now, bye-bye! Close the window on your way out!"
The window slams shut. You look at Jason, eyes wide.
"What...?"
He shrugs. "Brotherly blackmail. All in good spirit."
"I see. You really don't need to go? I can wait."
"Nah. Bruce can wait. I have a very important injury that needs tending to."
You roll your eyes, smiling. "Uh-huh. Are you sure you're okay?"
Jason kisses you. "Positive," he says against your mouth. "This is nothing. But I appreciate you worrying about little ol' me."
"I'll always worry about you, Jay."
He ducks his head and nudges your neck like a cat. "I know, baby. 'S why I'm the luckiest guy in the whole wide world."
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iloveinej · 4 months
Text
Unquenchable
Theodore Nott x reader
Catagory: Fluff, Smut
Warnings: Handjob, dom!reader, they're in looove
Summary: Theodore and her venture down a path they'd never stepped upon. Because of Theodore's insatiable desire and her new night dress.
Words: 3,7k
AN: I have nothing to say. Enjoy.
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She could feel his eyes on her, even if he tried to hide them by reading the book resting between his fingers. She didn't know why he was so inclined to always have his eyes on her. Especially when she was only brushing her teeth, lather covering her lips and running down her chin. She didn't look attractive at all.
But what she didn't realize was that the silky, skintight nightgown she wore gave Theodore the perfect view of the behind of her thighs. And the fabric ended right below her behind, teasing Theodore's poor old heart to death.
It was the first she had ever worn something so revealing, especially in front of him. Usually, she buried herself in her brother's old clothes and rags, finding them to be the most comfortable clothing.
And not that she didn't look dashing in those, but this was new territory for Theodore, and he wasn't taking it very well.
His heart was increasingly picking up speed and the apples of his cheeks were burning with either shame or lust, which one he didn't know. He was lucky that the duvet was covering the lower part of his body, otherwise, his desire would be much harder to hide than it already was.
(Name) threw a last, suspicious glance in Theodore's way, noticing his clenched jaw, before leaning over the tap and spitting the remains of the toothpaste out before washing it off her lips. Then she sauntered out of the bathroom, closing the door and absentmindedly rubbing her eye out of exhaustion.
Theodore's eyes were glued to her face as she floated around the room, blowing out the warm candles that were scattered on her many shelves and drawers, slowly inciting the room into a solace of darkness. The only thing helping her see being the last candle on the nightstand, which she waited to blow out.
Instead, she lifted her side of the duvet and crawled under, glowing at the warmth it provided. As an extra procedure turned over to Theodore and efficiently latched onto his bare side, her arm hugging around his torso and her head being buried in between his neck and shoulder.
It wasn't often that they got a chance to be with each other during the night times because of Hogwarts rules and the partition between the boys, girls, and different houses. This is why these moments are always highly appreciated, no matter where, how, or when.
Her nose, lips, and forehead rest comfortably on his pulse point, ears perking at every beat of his heart and bathing in the comfort of being so close to him. She doesn't think about how fast it is beating, or how Theodore's breathing is slightly uneven. Before, when she lay down, she didn't notice how he directed her legs when she wrapped herself around him so that she wouldn't accidentally grace his, at the moment, very sensitive area.
"Are you done reading soon?" She asked, his skin muffling her words and the air tickling his neck. And he raised his arm which he formerly circled her and stroked her hair back, his eyes stuck on the pages. "Only two pages left. Then I'm all yours."
A girlish smile lit up her face and she buried herself even deeper into his neck, not letting Theodore see how easily he made her insides melt and her face heat.
And as promised, after reading the last two pages of the chapter, he closed the book and put it on the floor. And (Name) took the honor of leaving his side and blowing out the last candles, this time letting the room be cast in a shadow.
Theodore eyes were glued on the back of her body as she leaned forwards, and painfully remembered the hard piece of trouble that throbbed between his legs. Before, when she was pushed up against him and his eyes actually could focus on the words in his book, he had forgotten how turned on he was. But it seemed everything she did right now made his pent-up mind turn to the less innocent part of his brain.
(Name) stopped all her movements when a large palm placed itself between her shoulder blades and gently pressed. Not to push her, but to feel her skin, how her muscles moved beneath his hand. The hand travels from its place in the middle of her back, up to her neck. Her arms gained goosebumps when Theodore cupped her neck between his fingers and thumb, fingertips almost reaching to her throat.
A sigh of delight is all she can muster when he rubs circles into her neck, carefully turning her head towards him. His black pupils had taken over his iris, only leaving a rim of his brown-stained, lust-blown eyes. Those eyes were something unfamiliar, something (Name) had never seen before. Not even in their most passionate moments, which to his dismay had only been the hidden snogging in the corner of the school library where she could guarantee that none of her siblings were watching.
The hand behind her neck traveled to her shoulder, and she swallowed when he gently pushed her down into the pillows. And she held her breath and watched with bug eyes as he crawled on top of her, positioning himself between her legs, and laying his arms on either side of her face to keep his body from crushing her.
And he stared at her, intense eyes locking with hers as if they were trying to tell her something, to imply something. And she didn't understand, but the tension in the air made her crazy and she longed to snap it like a twig between her fingers.
She let her hand travel from her side, up to the back of his delicate neck. She mimicked the hold he had on her before, and gently pushed him closer so that she could claim his lips with her own
Warmth and relief spread like wildfire in her stomach when Theodore returned her kiss with more eagerness and power than she had ever seen him do before. A sigh of delight escaped her nose, and she basked in the love Theodore provided for her every day, every minute to every second.
Her arms encircled his neck, and she slowly pulled him closer, letting him rest all his weight on her body. He moaned airily into her mouth, and (Name) saw it as an opportunity to let her tongue invade his mouth. She could feel how he melted against her body as she took control, forcing the kiss to become deeper, more sensual as she massaged his tongue with hers.
Theodore didn't know what to do with himself, for he had never experienced someone taking such control over him. Both body and mind were completely devoted to her and he had no longer any wish to think for himself, only to let her lead him through.
Slowly but surely, she slowed the kiss down, and Theodore found himself frowning when she disconnected their lips entirely. Spit collected on her bottom lip and without breaking their intimate eye contact, he leaned down and sucked the liquid off her lip. A sweet, closed-mouth moan echoed in her throat and Theodore felt how his hardness throbbed in his boxers.
"If you only could understand how absurdly amazing you make me feel." He mumbled with lidded eyes.
Her chest was heaving against his bare one, and she looked at him as if he was the reason for all the good in the world and all the good in her life. His skin erupted in flames and he, once again, leaned down although this time connecting his lips with the column of her throat.
A hand buried itself in her locks and she had no choice but to close her eyes as his lips traveled along her neck, at first only planting innocent pecks, letting his rosy lips leave invisible prints on her skin. Before he found the point right under her jaw and sucked.
"Oh, Theo." She simpered as he sucked, licked, and kissed the space, abusing it as a way of showing his love.
Her words made his hand tighten in her hair, and whilst she loved the attention she was receiving, she wanted to have more control. Theodore needed to be the princess for once. The one who would just stand there and accept the kisses and love. So she slowly enclosed her legs around his hips, squeezing him with her thighs as her hand traveled to his hair.
"You're always so good to me, taking care of me. And I love you so, so much." He sighed shakily into her neck, both because of the praise and also because of his crotch that was now pressed up against hers, and he needed almost all of his control to not grind into her and provide to his inextinguishable thirst for her.
"You own me, you own my body and you're the only thing on my mind." Theodore sucked harder on her neck, teeth grazing the blue area.
"And I own you, Theodore." And it was his downfall. He couldn't help himself but let his hips grind into hers and he grunted at the immense pleasure that spread along his stomach. And after that, he couldn't stop. Like he had been cursed, he continued to push himself against her, a secret fantasy of being inside of her, feeling her walls around his cock pushing him to continue.
"Please." He begged." Please let me make love to you." She almost choked on her tongue at his confession, and that accompanied by the pressure of Theodore's hips grinding into her made her mind foggy.
"I would to have you." A breath got caught in her throat as pressure once more ripped through her body. "But I don't want our first to be in the same house as my parents." The movement of his body came to a slow halt, trying to control himself and respect her wishes. A few playfully pecs were placed on her collarbones and a giggle escaped her lips at the tickling of his lips.
He pulled away from her body and met her eyes, intense gaze making her confidence waver and her body heat soar. Just for a moment, she contemplated to let him have her right in her childhood bed. To let him have his way with her. But with the ounce of self-control left in her body, she stayed in her decision with the knowledge it could bring more problems than pleasure. For him, her, and the rest of the family.
A hard kiss on her lips broke her out of the daze, and Theodore gently rolled off her body, settling at her side with him facing her.
"You sure it's alright?" She asked lightly, fingers tracing the shape of his nose. Her eyes did discreetly look down his body lightly gesturing to his crotch. With fingers under her chin, he lifted her face to his again, this time placing a lighter pec on her forehead.
"I'm sure, I'm here with you that's all I need. Nothing more."
"Are sure? Otherwise, you can-"
"I'm sure, never been more sure." With a gentle smile on her lips, she nodded, eyes fluttering shut when Theodore continued with her previous movements, fingers tracing her nose. "Go to sleep."
But she couldn't sleep. It was impossible. Butterflies were racing against her inner organs, in her belly and other places she had never felt the tickling feeling in. Her entire body was buzzing. Just the thought of her making the boy next to her so troubled, in a good way, was thrilling. Because he's Theodore, the attractive, brilliant, and kind Slytherin who everyone wanted to be or to be with. And he chooses her.
The boy next to her shuffled in the bed, body turning so his back faced her. She played as still as possible so he wouldn't notice her being awake, or to wake him for that matter.
But just when she was sure he was sound asleep, he sat up in the bed, throwing his legs over the edge and her heart beat in worry when his head hung lowly into his hands. She was about to lay a comforting hand on his back but he stood up before she had the time.
"Theo?" She asked and he turned around, startled by her voice. "You okay?"
A smile lit his face and he kneeled before her, kissing her lips quickly. "Just going to the bathroom." Even though her room was dark, the moonlight revealed an unmistakable redness on the apples of his cheeks and she looked down to see his problem still present, and once again her body erupted in a buzz.
Before he could walk away, she grabbed his hand, stopping him. He looked at her with a question in his eyes, and she looked away in shyness.
"I can- I can help you if you want?" Her big eyes raked over his face, waiting for an answer while his face displayed a handful of different emotions.
"You don't have to, I don't want to force you." She flushed at his gentleness, but couldn't dismiss the new, lustful edge in his voice.
"I want to help you. Alright? I want you." When he didn't say anything, she tugged his hand towards her, enough so one of his knees met the mattress.
"Do you want me too?" Her voice took a change and her eyes searched in his. As an answer, Theodore grabbed her throat and pulled her into a searing kiss, tongue licking over her lips when he pulled away.
"I want you to, need you, truly." And he was about to go into a second kiss, but she stopped him with a finger to his lips.
"Good. But on one condition." He listened idly, lips kissing on the pad of her finger. "You have to be quiet, at all cost. You can't make a sound, if you do I'll have to stop."
She gently positioned him on his back, brain going ten miles on hour at the newfound confidence, at the newfound domination. He nodded slowly and his eyes were hooded with the lust of anticipation.
Thedore was a naturally dominant person per se. In their relationship, in his life, and in his friend group. With a hand on her back, he guided her the way he wanted, and with the preeminence in his voice, she found it hard to deny him. But now, with his panting chest and pleading puppy dog eyes, she wondered where Theodore went, without complaining of course.
With shaky hands and Theodore's eyes intently on her, she reached for the edge of his underwear, fingers picking at his waistband. Her knees clenched together when Thedore put both his arms behind his head, face shining with confidence. And in the most loving way possible, a small part of her wanted to break it down.
Slowly, she pulled the underwear down, with the help of Theodore raising his hips. When she laid eyes on his crotch, she swallowed and looked at Theodore, who had his lip in his teeth.
As if he could see her hesitation, he gave her a nod. "It's okay, Lovie, you can touch me."
And in pure curiousness, she let the tips of her fingers run up his length, feeling the warmth emitting from his body. A gasp made way from his mouth and he threw his head into the pillow. In fear of believing she hurt him, she pulled back, hand landing on his thigh.
"Theo? Sorry did I hurt you? I didn't mean to." She stressed, massaging his thigh in comfort. But he only shook his head, trying to slow his increased breath.
"No, no don't stop." His voice cracked pitifully as he pleaded, but she wasn't convinced.
"Theo Im not su-"
"Please for the love of Merlin, touch me. I swear I'm going to explode." The doubt was replaced with fire in her entire body. And she did the same movement again, running her fingers up his length.
Once again, a gasp escaped his lips, and a rare, blissful expression covered his face. His eyebrows scrunched upwards and a small smile on his open mouth.
And she wanted more of this reaction, craved it even. So she continued to run her fingertips up and down, biting her lip to hide her smile at his panting and puffing.
"Come on, love, I know you can do more than that." He didn't. But she could do more. She met his eyes, who were intently, expectantly staring into her. Like he was daring her. Holding his eye, she took a loose grip on his cock, doing an experimental stroke.
His eyes snapped to where his body met her hands, and a small, low moan forced itself from his lips. So low she almost missed it, but she's glad she didn't. She forced her thighs together, rocking back and forth as she began to twist her wrist to give Theo relief along with herself.
He only continues to stare at her moving hand, his stomach and thighs flexing with pleasure. And she notices, of course, she does, and lets her free land on the place connecting his pelvis and thigh, slowly massaging it to get him relaxed. It does quite the opposite.
He throws his head back, straight into the pillow. "Fuck." He whispers as one of his hands clenches around the sheet.
Without even meaning to, she speeds up her hand movements, her body reacting automatically to his pleasure. And he bucks into her hand at the new feeling, a groan, louder than before resonated pleasantly in her ear.
"Merlin, shit what the fuck are you doing to me." He moaned desperately, taking satisfaction in her warm palm, in the intense feeling in his pelvis and length. In his entire body. It was like he was high.
She giggled lightly, bashfully continuing her stroking without a notion of how the sound affected him.
An idea formed in her head, a memory of a knowledge Theo himself revealed not long ago at all. She took her other hand, which was stroking his thigh, and gripped it above the hand on his lenght, and let her thumb run over his tip, using a little pressure
And Theodore let out a moan, a borderline whine. And it didn't stop.
She continued the abuse on his tip, along with rapid strokes of his length, and different types of whines, groans and moans left him, one after one. And they were loud, too loud.
"Shhh, Theo you need to quiet down." Deep down she knew he wouldn't, especially with her continued stimulation of his cock.
"Can't- Fuck. I can't, I can't." He cried head tilted down to take a peek at her hands. Bad Idea as his length throbbed in her hands, sending him into a new fit of moans.
So she stopped. Only as an attempt to quiet him.
But it left him unsatisfied and searching for stimulation, violently continuing to buck his hips for any kind of friction, sounds of complaint echoing in the room.
"Theo you said you could be quiet, so be quiet!" She whisper-yelled desperately, pushing his hips to still with one of her hands. But he just couldn't be quiet.
Now, he was instead whining over the lack of stimulation, thrashing his head from side to side at the lost feeling.
"Theo for the love of good shut up." At the sudden stern tone, he shut his mouth and turned to her, big puppy dog eyes staring at her with admiration.
They sat quietly as she listened after a single sound. But luckily, there was none. And she could let her shoulders relax.
"Good job Theo." She smiled, and pecked his lips, him chasing after her when she sat straight again.
The pace of her hands picked up again, and Theodore tried his utmost to keep his sounds down. But it was so difficult.
And he thought he would be able to hold himself quiet until her hands sped up greatly.
She watched with awe in her eyes as his eyes rolled back into his head, his hips vigorously meeting her wrist as he fucked her hand, moans of her name and whined curses fleeing his pink lips.
"Fuck. I th-think." His head arched into the mattress, interrupting his sentence with a moan. "I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna-im-" She panicked as his voice took a turn for the loudest, and without thinking she slapped her hand over his mouth, although with a force that pushed his head further into the pillow.
His entire body twitched violently at the harsh gesture, and his eyelashes fluttered when white-hot pleasure overtook his entire life.
Without meaning to, he threw his hand over the one covering his mouth, gripping it tight as the other squeezed her thigh in a bruising grip. And he came with a long, guttural moan, straight into her hand as she continued to stroke him through his high. And she didn't stop, not until his body had stopped convulsing completely.
When he was done, his chest was heaving as he chipped for air, and she placed a concerned and clean hand on his chest, rubbing it slowly.
"You need to slow your breathing, don't need you to faint on me after that." He nodded lightly, head too heavy for anything else. He took her hand and bullied his breathing to a normal pace, even if it burned his lungs.
He forced his eyelids open, and her body, once again, flushed at the half-lidded look he gave her. As if she hung the moon and stars for him.
But, what he didn't know was she had a last trick up her sleeve. She raised her dirty hand to his lips and slowly and carefully licked every bit of him left on her hand.
Theodore let out a small gasp, and his handanded on her thigh massaging it to the erotic picture, fighting another hard-on with his life.
She leaned down and was about to connect her tongue to his lower abdomen, ready to lick the cum of his godly body. But she only had time to graze him before he took her cheeks in his hands, squeezing them while lifting her head in distress
"No no no!" He stressed, and she started at him with, big, questioning eyes." Fuck. I love you, but you're gonna get yourself another piece of trouble if I let you continue." A laugh of surprise jumped in her chest, looking down at her lap, her body warm and humble.
"Youre seriously amazing, you know that right." He breathed out, a smile in his voice. And a chuckle bumbled in her throat, head hazy with bliss.
She kissed his palm. "And I love you, lovie."
-----
So... That happened
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starrystevie · 1 year
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eddie figures out that he likes steve all because of nancy fucking wheeler.
it isn't often that they find themselves hanging out just the two of them, quite the opposite. this is the first time they've ever done it and the only reason nancy is even stepping foot inside the munson's new government-provided trailer is because she's having a crisis.
"but what does it mean," she asks, voice muffled as her lips wrap around the opening of her beer bottle before taking a swig. her cheeks hollow and her eyes shut against the feeling of the carbonation bubbling up before she fixes eddie with a glare that he doesn't think is for him. "it didn't... feel this way with barb."
and eddie's just sitting there on the couch, rolling a much needed joint for both of them, trying to follow along with what nancy is saying. she's pacing a hole in the carpet and her hands are flying around in a way that eddie himself does when the wheels in his brain are spinning too fast.
"... what didn't feel what way?"
nancy glares at him again and he gets the feeling that it's directed at him this time. he feels himself shrink under her eyes and wants to raise his hands up in surrender (he gives in and does indeed raise his hands in surrender).
"i think i'm in love with robin, please try and keep up."
eddie stills, his hands in the air and mouth open in shock. nancy's still muttering about something but his brain is stuck on the being-in-love-with-robin part of her tirade. it's not an issue, not in the slightest, and sure he's heard of people who... but he's never met someone who actually-
"are you even listening?" nancy asks, her tone firm. she has a hand on her hip while the other is clenched tightly around the neck of her beer. "what am i supposed to do?! am i just supposed to kiss her and tell her that her eyes are my favorite color and that i miss her when she leaves a room even for just a minute?"
"how should i know?! i'm not in love with robin!" eddie responds and he knows it's the wrong answer by how nancy's whole face falls in the span of .02 seconds. she looks like she's on the brink of tears, frustrated or hopeless or sad, and eddie doesn't know what to do with that either.
"but... you know. what about steve?" nancy's voice is soft now, and paired with her puppy dog eyes, eddie almost doesn't process what she says. "how'd you know with him?"
and if eddie thought he was stunned before, this takes the cake. a nervous laugh bubbles out of him, his face hot and heart pounding. his arms feel a bit like liquid and he doesn't know if he's even breathing anymore.
"nancy, i'm sorry but i think we're on two different wave lengths here." he needs to do something with his hands so he starts to fiddle with his lighter, flicking the zippo open and shut until the clink of the metal sounds too loud in the quiet room. "i don't.... love steve."
tears start to roll down her cheeks and yeah, eddie definitely messed up somewhere. she's wiping the drops away furiously like she's surprised they even dared to show up and she's biting her lip in a way that looks like it hurts.
"what are you talking about? of course you do." her eyebrows furrow which makes her look even angrier or disgusted and eddie feels like they're on a tightrope in his living room that's about to snap away from underneath them.
"well yeah, i... love him," he stutters over the words, "like i love you and rob and everyone. but not like... love love."
nancy's laugh sounds way too harsh for it to have come out of her. "are you sure? you stare at his ass more than i stare at robin's." she takes a deep breath, ignores the gasp of indignation that her statement gets out of eddie, and tilts her chin up like she's taking the high ground.
"i do not!"
"do too! and you're always looking for him when you walk into a room, like it doesn't matter if we're there, you only look for him. and you sit right next to him even if there's an open seat that's more comfortable. and you have this little, i don't know, tic when he smiles that makes you wiggle your fingers and you-"
"wheeler, you gotta stop."
"-always listen to him and he does all of that back for you and it's so obvious. i can't believe you didn't know you were in love with steve! you do everything that i do for robin and i'm in love with her so it must mean you're in love with steve and- holy shit i'm in love with robin."
the silence after nancy stops rings loud in his ears. honestly, he hadn't really given it any thought before but it makes sense.
the very idea of steve has his heart feeling a way it hasn't since he was nine and tracy nichols gave him a shiny rock on valentine's day. he does always look for steve when he enters a room, his very presence calming and dependable. he does sit next to him no matter what, their sides pressed together, heat radiating between them like a blanket. and god, when steve smiles, he does have to move his fingers, something to get out these jolts of energy that he feels licking through his veins.
steve is good and steve is a bit of an asshole but eddie likes that and suddenly the line between platonic and romantic seems to have vanished because holy shit, how did he live for the past year without spending every day loving steve harrington?
eddie reaches for the half rolled joint, licks at the paper to close it and lights up quickly. he holds the smoke in his lungs for probably too long but couldn't care less because he's now having a crisis of his own thanks to nancy.
"goddamnit," eddie hisses out as he exhales. "i'm in love with steve."
nancy looks smug, her arm extended as she waits for eddie to pass the joint to her before taking a hit. "that's what i'm saying."
"but i'm not... you know."
nancy rolls her eyes. "it's not going to bite you if you say it, eddie."
"i'm not gay."
the silence seems louder now as the paper on the joint sizzles. there's a dog somewhere in the park barking and he can hear his own heartbeat pounding in his ears.
"neither am i." nancy responds quietly with a shrug of her shoulders. "but i am for robin. and you are for steve."
she passes the joint back over to eddie and stands up from the couch, wipes off imaginary crumbs from her pants like she didn't just turn eddie's world upside down.
"i think i'm gonna go. i have a lady to woo." nancy looks happy. it's a good look on her, one he doesn't see all that often what with everything that's happened to them in the past year. she deserves it, he thinks, happiness.
"let me know how it goes," he calls to her as she stops at the trailer door.
"i will." with a tilt of her head and a with a gleam in her eye, she gives eddie yet another look that he doesn't know if he wants to try and decipher. "you should call him."
eddie snorts and takes a hit, rolling his eyes as he stares up at the ceiling so he doesn't have to look at nancy's all knowing eyes. it isn't that he's scared to call steve, it's that he's terrified. petrified. what would he say? what would steve say? he just figured out that he loves him, he hasn't had time to prepare a whole speech to declare it and-
"eddie." nancy's voice is sharp but certain and part of him thinks that robin is a lucky woman to have nancy wheeler falling in love with her. "trust me. call him."
after she's gone, he finishes the joint. he sits in the silence of his trailer and pulls hit after hit of sticky smoke until it's down the end and burning his fingertips. he stares at the ceiling some more, contemplates what to say, how to say it, how to do anything without throwing up.
he wonders if wayne knows, if he saw what nancy saw, what he thinks of eddie falling in with a guy. he wonders if this will change everything. wonders if it'll change for better or worse. wonders if he'll have to skip town and change his name like he imagined doing after he was cleared of murder.
picking up the phone is easy, dialing is easier when he has steve's number memorized like the back of his hand.
"hello?" steve mutters like he's been roused out of sleep. his voice is scruffy and somehow soft and eddie knows he's going to throw up.
"steve."
"hey, man. is everything okay?"
and it makes eddie's heart flutter in a way that a generic question shouldn't but damn it, he's in love. he's allowed.
"yeah, yeah. everything's good i just-" eddie sighs, scrubs a hand down his face to stop from twirling the phone cord in his fingers. "do you wanna maybe come over? watch a movie or something?"
eddie can almost hear the smile in his voice when he breathes out a yes, thanking whatever higher powers there may be for nancy wheeler.
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skyahri · 1 month
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Hate |Naruto Men X Reader| HC
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Characters: Kakashi Hatake, Shikamaru Nara, Sasuke Uchiha
Summary: Hate is a strong word, but it's also a very fragile one.
Warnings: Brief smut, kissing mentions of p and v. Some angst, but all comfort. Mentions of blood, violence, and death.
- - - - -
Kakashi Hatake
You hated how full of himself he was. He was always talking down to people, to his teammates and so-called friends. He goes out of his way to show people up no matter how inappropriate the situation may be.
He hated that you always stuck up for people he considered weak. He hated how much time and energy you put into helping others instead of focusing on your own training. He hated that you had so much potential, yet seemed to waste it at every opportunity.
As time went on and you were forced into each other's inner circles, your occasional arguments became a constant bicker. It got even worse when you were assigned to his ANBU team. You questioned his every move and fought every decision he made.
In return, he always gave you the least desirable night shifts. He'd make you write all the reports, saying something about needing to learn to respect your elders (he's only a few months older than you).
Once you were put in charge of your own team, things quieted down. Not because either of you had mellowed out, but because you didn't cross paths as often anymore.
Because of how rarely you saw him, you always made sure to make your brief encounters worth it. You had practically written a list of insults to throw his way. He returned the same energy with out hesitation.
Eventually, after his genin team had gone their separate ways and you had finally retired from ANBU, you had a seemingly infinite amount of time to rekindle your rivalry with him.
He always seemed to be heading in the same direction as you were. It didn't matter if you were on your way to the Hokage's office, the shops, or meeting up with someone- he was always there.
You tried to fight with him like the good old days, but it was different now that you were grown adults. Maybe the ungodly amount of trauma combined with the wedge distance had created in your odd relationship had finally put an end to your petty war.
Thinking back, maybe this is what it had been all along, and your stupid kid brain was too proud to admit what was really going on.
Your arguing had turned into kissing the moment he stepped through your apartment door. Things moved quickly, expert hands doing away with endless layers of Jonin uniforms in a rushed attempt to feel more of each other.
It felt right. Like the decades of tension had finally come to a head and you were being forced to deal with it in the most animalistic way possible.
"I hate you."
Your mumbling between desperate kisses. He doesn't acknowledge you immediately, opting to instead lift you by your ass so your legs could wrap around him. He pushes you against the wall, pressing his clothed election right against your womanhood.
"I hate you, too."
Neither of you acknowledges the elephant in the room, that the word you're looking for isn't actually hate. But that's beyond your cloudy minds right now.
Shikamaru Nara
Shikamaru has never really bothered with social pleasantries or subjected himself to cater to what people like and dislike. In fact, he often chastised people for caring what others think.
He always commented about what you wore, how well groomed you were, and the overall effort you put into your appearance each day.
You hated listening to it, which is why you always did your best to avoid him.
It wasn't even about you specifically. You hated hearing how rudely he'd shut down Ino when she would ramble on about anything. You hated when he complained about how loud Naruto and Kiba were despite knowing that they're just excitable people. You hated hearing the damn near sexist remarks he'd make about how stupid people were for giving any shots about how they looked.
It was annoying. It didn't seem to phase anyone else anymore, but that almost made it worse.
You were at your breaking point. Just one comment away from losing your composure and you prayed to God you'd be able to refrain from saying anything too harsh.
But alas, Kakashi had assigned you to yet another mission with him- the sixth one just this month.
At least he waited until you were at the Inn before he started up with you. You honestly don't know why he let you shower first if it was going to be such an issue.
"Finally. I thought you'd be in there forever."
"What the Hell is your problem with me?"
He paused in his tracks. He wasn't expecting you to say anything to his usual grumbling, and especially didn't expect it to be so hostile.
"You always take forever in the bathroom."
"It was twenty minutes. You'll live."
"It wouldn't be that long if you didn't bother with all the extra shit you use."
"Why is it such a problem that I care about what I look like? I don't ever involve you in it and yet you're always talking about it."
He rolled his eyes, about to blow off whatever you were saying, but you started up again before he could.
"All you ever do is bitch and whine and moan about dumb shit that doesn't concern you. I like to look nice. I like wearing clothes that compliment my figure and putting time into the health of my hair and skin. It's not the end of the world, so shut the fuck up about it already."
You walked past him and lay in one of the twin beds, tired from the journey and pissed about your teammate's usual poor behavior.
He didn't say anything. He continued with what he was going to do before the argument and carried on like nothing had happened.
He kept any conversations strictly professional for the duration of the mission, something you were ecstatic about.
It wasn't until a few days after you returned home that you heard from him. He showed up at your apartment unprompted, looking irritated and slightly flustered.
"After talking with my team, it may have come to my attention that I might be kind of an ass."
You invited him in, curious as to what he had to say. He admitted that he had never been called out on it. Most people don't take him too seriously and he may have gotten a bit too comfortable voicing every thought that crossed his mind.
Although he had mostly soothed any nerves you had, you still decided he owed you.
You dragged him into your room, sat him at your vanity, and laughed when he groaned. You pulled out all the stops for him. You took him through your entire routine start to finish and when you were done, you asked him hiw it felt.
He hated that it felt nice. He hated that he suddenly realized how dry his skin usually was and how clean he suddenly felt. He would never fully admit that to you, though.
Him showing up at your apartment the next day, conveniently around the time you usually started these things, was all the confirmation you needed that he no longer deemed it a waste of time.
Sasuke Uchiha
He hated going to the Hokage's office, not because he was still in the thick of earning his freedom after the war, but because he hated Kakashi’s assistant.
You annoy him. He hates that you so confidently push his buttons. He hates that you're just a civilian, but you've been given so much authority over him. It was an unfit existence for the last Uchiha.
You enjoyed messing with him. He would grumble when given his assignment and you made sure to mock him with a playful pout. You'd check in with the ANBU watching over him to make sure he was behaving. You always used that word- behaving. As if he were a child.
Unfortunately for Sasuke, Kakashi isn't in the village right now, meaning he's stuck taking orders from you. He swears Kakashi picked you to oversee him intentionally, knowing how much it would bother him.
He's sitting next to you, helping you go through seemingly endless piles of paperwork. He wasn't sure if this was better than all the D-rank missions he'd been assigned lately, but he begrudgingly accepted the change of pace.
He glances at you through his peripherals. The sun is just going down, the orange light illuminating your soft features. Your usual bratty expression was replaced with a more peaceful one.
This was most likely just as much a break for you as it was for him. He wasn't oblivious to the way you had to reel Kakashi in every day, damn near having to tie him to his chair to get anything done.
"You can go home. I'll finish up here and we can resume tomorrow."
He didn't argue, thankful for relief from the horrifically tedious task. As he was leaving the building, he suddenly got this feeling in his gut that he should stay.
Of course, not wanting to do more paperwork than he was required to, he ignored the feeling and carried on.
He should've stayed. Just an hour after he left, while you were packing up for the night, the tower was raided by rogue nin.
The alarm sounded in the village, immediately calling all available shinobi. Bee, the ANBU assigned to him, gave him permission to lend a hand, and off they went to the tower.
He teleported himself to Kakashi’s office, knowing you would most likely be in there or at least somewhere near. What he wasn't expecting, however, was you standing over a body, kunai in hand and blood splattered across your body.
"Y/N?"
You didn't move, couldn't move. He reached forward, tugged the blade out of your shaky grip, and let it fall to the floor. You let him, not really in the mood to fight any more than you had to right now.
"Is he dead?"
Your question caught him off guard.
"I've never killed anyone before."
Ah. Civilian. Right. Sure, you belonged to a Shinobu village and even worked under the Kage, but that was vastly different than being on the front lines.
He thought for a second. Was he in any sort of position to be responsible for you at the moment? Should he hand you off to one of the other nin and return home?
"Cover your eyes."
It took a minute for his words to register in your hazy mind, but once they did you obeyed. If there was one thing you knew would benefit you, it would be allowing him to take the lead for now.
He put his hand between your shoulder blades and guided you through the hallways, down the stairs, and away from the tower completely. He glanced around, but couldn't find Bee, so he opted to take you back to his apartment. It would cause a lot less trouble if he was where he was supposed to be after all.
At home, he sat you down in the tub and turned on the water. He left you there, letting all the blood loosen from your skin. He returned a moment later, setting a stack of clothes down on the counter and grabbing a rag from the cabinet.
Neither of you spoke as he gently scrubbed your face. When he was done, he got a little bit of shampoo and worked all the red out of your hair.
You were slowly coming out of your daze. It was nice being brought out by something kind and comforting. It was almost enough to distract you from the night's events. Almost.
When he was done, he handed you the cloth, telling you to finish up and see him when you're done. You nodded, standing up and undressing when the door closed. You noticed how clean the water ran, most likely due to how thoroughly the Uchiha had taken care of you.
When you stepped out of the tub, you noticed the clothes on the counter. Upon closer inspection, they were similar to the ones he was wearing now- a t-shirt and sweats.
You joined him in the adjacent bedroom where he waited patiently. He all but forced you into his bed, shutting down all of your protests. When he went to leave the room, you quickly grabbed the fabric of his shirt to stop him.
"Please stay."
He didn't fight you. He walked around to the other side of the bed and sat down, leaning against the headboard and staring blanky in front of him.
You were thankful for the comfort of simply not being alone. Not after tonight, when so much had happened and the trauma was still fresh in your mind.
He tried telling himself that this was not a personal act, but instead one that would aid his village. But who was he kidding? He was realizing you weren't all that terrible and he had just allowed his angst brain to manipulate him into thinking so.
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atlabeth · 2 months
Text
wake up, sunshine
knight!luke masterlist
based on this ask
pairing: knight!luke castellan x princess!reader
summary: you and luke repair some things at your kingdom's annual flower festival.
a/n: have some fluff after i destroyed their relationship in the last fic! also this is based off of the scene from rapunzel because how could it not be <3 title from the all time low song bc it is soooo them "somebody loves you for yourself" <3 they're everything
wc: 2.5k
warning(s): once again luke is kinda angsty but this is much fluffier than usual! princess is nice again, they have a couple sweet moments <3
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we’ve been focusing on a lot of rough times between luke and the princess but things aren’t all bad for them!! even though she’s trying to ignore him and being forced to court a prince she isn’t interested in at all and war is imminent, war has not struck YET 
which means that things are still pretty great lol. and things are going to get a little better 
Aurelda’s flower festival always happens at the peak of spring, when all of the flowers (especially the ones only found in your kingdom) bloom, and it is full of revelry and merriment 
You’ve gone every year since you were old enough to walk, and though things have been a bit bleak for you, you’re actually excited about it! that boring prince has gone back home so you don’t have to spend the entire festival entertaining him. 
For the first time in a while, you actually get to focus on yourself and having fun. and you plan to do just that 
Of course, things are still weird between you and Luke — you know it’s your own fault, and you know that’s how it has to be, but you still hate it — but you can’t stop thinking about his words from that night as your lady’s maid helps you get ready for the festival. 
You may not care about what you want, but I do. And my loyalty is to you, princess. Not to your parents. And certainly no prince. 
Your heart twists painfully but you hide any emotion. The last thing you need is your maids spreading rumors. They already gossip about how close you and Luke are. You don’t need any star-crossed lovers narratives going on when your friendship is being put through the wringer of your own accord. 
You’re wearing a more casual outfit than usual—though your parents usually want you adorned in gowns and over the top dresses, you insisted on a simpler dress that cut off around your ankles for the ease of movement. It has plenty of embroidered flowers, of course. 
You planned to participate in every festival activity, no matter what your parents said. You deserved to have some fun after being so serious for the past month. 
You’re stuck in meetings the entire day before the festival, so you’re brimming with unspent energy the second you step out of the palace. Your leg bounces up and down the entire carriage ride, and you talk at (not to) your parents the whole time. 
You’re excited, okay? And you deserve to be. things have been rough lately, and with the prince’s presence, woefully boring. You can’t wait to get back in the middle of your kingdom and see your people. You love your subjects, and you always love when you get to meet and talk to them in person. 
Luke, on the other hand, is slightly stressed. 
As this is his inaugural year as your knight, it is a season of firsts for him, and every first comes with unhealthy amounts of stress. 
His first ball with you, his first time in another kingdom with you, his first festival with you, his first time being at odds with you. 
Luke honestly doesn’t know how you feel about him right now. You’ve put an impressive amount of distance between you and him, and you rarely talk to him outside of necessity, but he sees your lingering glances in his direction. He notices when you don’t rebuke his attempts at friendly conversation.
Luke meant every word that he said. He knows you, and he knows you don’t want this—you at least don’t want to leave him in the dark like this. So he isn’t going to let you go that easily. 
Your avoidance of him may be a good thing, though, because at least it means you don’t see his reaction when you leave your room wearing your festival dress. 
Luke has always thought of you as the most beautiful girl he knows, and that hasn’t changed with time. 
You always stun in your ballgowns and any Aureldan finery, but there’s just something about you wearing such a simplistic dress, heightened by embroidered flowers, that makes him weak in the knees. 
Maybe it’s because Luke has imagined a life away from all of this so many times. You’re not a princess, and he’s not a knight, but you’re devoted to each other the same—you just don’t have any royal strings attached. 
Apart from being a knight, Luke has never really cared where his future took him, as long as it was with you. He knows he would give up all of this and more if it meant he could share a simple life with you. 
Thankfully, he’s composed himself by the time you look at him, though he can’t push away all the lingering thoughts. 
“Are you attending the festival today, Sir Castellan?” you ask.
He hates it when you call him that, but he nods. “Of course. You’re going out into the kingdom—you need security.”
“It is a festival,” you drawl. “Nothing will happen.”
“It is still necessary,” he says. “You can think of me as your knightly escort.”
That actually gets a bit of a laugh out of you, and he suppresses a smile. “My escort. How improper of you.”
“Today is meant to be a day of festivities,” Luke says. “Impropriety may be allowed just this once.” 
Your smile remains as you start to walk together, and Luke knows he could live off of its warmth alone. 
And when you finally reach your destination, your smile gets even bigger.
It’s been far too long since you’ve gotten to be in the midst of your kingdom, surrounded by all your people. This is the part of your position that you love—you just wish your parents trusted you with it more. 
Your parents are busy with their image—they’re speaking later today, you’re sure, and right now they’re discussing things with some kind of village leader—which gives you the perfect opportunity to slip away. 
Luke is right behind you, of course, but it’s always been hard to keep up with you. You’ve grown very skilled at weaving your way through crowds, but thankfully Luke has grown very skilled at keeping an eye on you. 
By the time he catches up to you, though, it’s too late. 
“Princess—” Luke calls in protest, but you’re already off to greet a group of children calling your name. 
You know exactly how to stress him out, running off like that without him immediately behind you, but he can’t find any anger inside of him.
Luke hasn’t forgotten your words. He doesn’t know how he could. 
But in this moment, it’s so easy to see why he can’t just do his duty and let you go. 
The way you crouch down to be on their level, how you listen so intently to everything they say, your dazzling smile. 
Yes, one could say it’s your duty to be kind to your people, but for many royals, that’s not true. You’ve always cared about the people of Aurelda, ever since you were young—that may have been one of the few things that hasn’t changed as you’ve grown. Luke has always admired that about you. 
In this moment, you’re not the crown princess. You’re just you. And it’s hard for anyone not to love you. 
…It’s hard for him not to love you. 
yeah. 
this is the moment that luke realizes he loves you. like loves you loves you. 
And it doesn’t come as much of a shock to him. Luke has always loved you, one way or another. He’s just now understanding the kind of love he holds for you now. 
wants to spend the rest of his life with you, would throw himself onto a sword for you, would do absolutely anything for you type loves you. 
If anything, it brings some form of relief. 
He loves you. You don’t love him, and you’re going to marry a prince someday. Maybe within the year. 
It’s as simple as that. 
except it isn’t, obviously 
because you love him too!! you just don’t know it yet!! and you don’t really want to marry the prince your parents are pushing at you, you just don’t see any other way. 
But it’s not like Luke knows that. he may be the youngest person to ever become part of the kingsguard but he is ~ insecure ~ and he cannot imagine anyone liking him like that, especially you!!! 
Luke comes back into himself when you bound back over to him, and he notices the flower crown balancing precariously on your head. 
You have the biggest grin on your face, and though the gowns you wear at balls and fancier events are great, you’re nothing less than stunning in your simple dress. You’re slightly out of breath and your skin is luminescent with the glow of exertion. He can’t help but smile.  
Have you always been this beautiful? He’s pretty sure you have, but he doesn’t know how he didn’t realize it sooner. 
Luke has loved you for a while, he thinks. Maybe he always has—maybe that’s what the warm feeling he gets in his chest when he looks at you is. Maybe that’s what made his heart clench every time a prince danced with you at that ball. 
Maybe his love for you has always been what’s pushed him forward. 
“Luke,” you said, and once again, you snapped him out of his thoughts. You were absolutely beaming at him, and you wore a flower crown on your head. “Are you there?” 
Luke, he realized. Not Sir Castellan, for what felt like the first time in weeks. 
“I’m always here,” he said. “I’ve got superior training, princess.” 
“Of course,” you said with mock austerity, nodding sagely. “I could never forget.” 
You held up another flower crown, one similar to yours, and your smile grew. “The kids made another one, too. They said it was for my grumpy looking knight.” 
Luke scoffed, but there was no edge to it. “I’m not grumpy. Merely cautious.” 
“Oh, yes,” you said dryly. “I’m sure those kids had devious plans, Luke.” 
That got the slightest of smiles out of him, and it spurned warmth in your chest. “It’s my—” 
“It’s your job to watch me,” you finished. “I know. Just teasing you.” 
“And I welcome it,” he said. “It’s nice to see you like this, princess.” 
“Talking to my people and actually making a difference?” you guessed. 
“Happy,” he corrected. 
“Yes, well…” you trailed off, glancing away for a moment as you shrugged. “I’ve been busy.” 
“And for once, you don’t look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.” Luke’s eyes drifted to the flower crown sitting on your head, and his smile grew. “It suits you.” 
“Carelessness or flower crowns?” you asked wryly. 
“Flower crowns.” Luke crossed his arms. “You’re far from careless, princess.”
You rolled your eyes 
“You’ve got to stop talking down on yourself like that,” he said. “Like nothing you say or do matters. Because it does. It may not feel like it, but you’re doing valuable work.” 
“Oh, yes,” you said breezily. “I’m sure sitting in meetings that don’t matter and looking pretty as I stand in the background during my father’s speeches is valuable work.” 
“That’s not what I mean.” Luke gestured at the crowd of people around, specifically pointing at the group of kids that you’d entertained. “You fight for them every day, even if you don’t realize it. You care about these people, princess, which is already more than half of the people in that castle do for them. Why else would they adore you?” 
You bit your lip and glanced away. It was hard to take Luke’s words to heart when you truly felt like you were doing nothing—when it felt like the only thing you could possibly be good for was a marriage. 
But you did argue with your parents near every chance you got on matters of support and aid for your people. It was the least you could do, especially when you knew you would never really have to deal with consequences. 
(There was a reason most of your father’s advisors had to suppress groans every time you would sit in on a meeting. You took pride in your ability to annoy.) 
“Let’s call a truce, okay?”
You frowned. Now it was Luke bringing you out of your thoughts. “A truce?”
“I don’t want you to keep avoiding me, and I don’t think you’re really enjoying it either.” Luke met your gaze. “We’ve been friends for as long as I can remember, princess. Don’t let boring princes come between that.”
You glanced away. “Luke…” 
“I know,” he said with a sigh. “I know your duty, and I know mine. But seeing you today, so carefree and happy—it’s worth more than a million gold pieces to me.” 
You’d been dancing around this topic since the night you pushed him away. It just hurt too much to talk about, and you felt like you didn’t have a right to be hurt—not when you were the one that did it. 
You loved Luke—he’d been your best friend for as long as you could remember. But you would be lying if you said you didn’t hate the time you’ve been spending apart. 
“We’re both getting older, I know. And we both have responsibilities we’re going to take on. God, someday, you’re going to be queen.” Luke huffed a laugh, though his eyes never wavered from you. “But that doesn’t mean that we can’t get through it together. Just like we’ve gotten through everything else together.” 
Luke held out his hand. “So? Truce?” 
You stared at his hand for a moment, unable to meet his eyes. You knew exactly what you wanted to say but you felt like you couldn’t. 
Because dammit, your days felt so dull. You always wanted to talk about your day and how boring your lessons were or the bullshit your father’s advisors have been discussing in meetings, and Luke was always the person you wanted to talk to about it all. He always has been. 
And you pushed him away. 
Before you could doubt yourself, you ignored his hand entirely and pulled him into a tight hug. Luke wrapped his arms around you immediately, holding you close. 
“I’m sorry for avoiding you,” you whispered. God, how you’d missed his embrace—you never felt safer than when you were in his arms. “And I’m sorry for being so stupid.” 
“You have nothing to be sorry for, princess,” he murmured. “And you’re certainly not stupid. Don’t even think that way.” 
You let out a breathy laugh as you pulled away, smiling softly at Luke. “I’m stupid to ever think I could really stay away from you.” 
and for the rest of the festival, you and luke are practically inseparable<3 not just because he’s your guard but because you’re best friends. 
You’re not going to let anything change that going forward. any prince that wants to marry you is just going to have to deal with that. 
(you even get him to wear that flower crown.)
(and though he tries to hide it, he kind of loves it.) 
(mostly because he loves you<3) 
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holy-puckslibrary · 3 months
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just a lil firefighter!sid fluff for y'all :)
gif from @ehghtysevenarchive + per this ask and others
Surely, the chief of Canada's oldest fire department has more important things to do on a crisp morning, the last one preceding a fresh week, than this. He most definitely does. And, yes, Chief Crosby is known for his pragmatic approach to, well, everything.
But neither carries weight here—not when she calls.
Leaky faucet, dead car battery, unreachable spider... It doesn't matter. One ring, and he's rushing home. He can't pin-point when the pattern began, likely sometime shortly between the day you moved into town and his first off-day, but it's a routine he's come to enjoy despite the extra strain on both his schedule and his body; Sidney never thought sharing a property line could be so tedious or time-consuming.
He knows he shouldn't enjoy the distraction as much as he does. You aren't together, Sidney doesn't ever allow his imagination wander that far, but he can't help it. He can't help but help. He rarely turns down anyone in need, which has done wonders for his reputation within the community, but with you... With you, it's different, and embarrassingly so.
He doesn't have the words to explain it. Not that he needs to, it's written plainly across his face.
There's a reason you're regular fixtures in the town's gossip column.
When he arrives on scene—not ten minutes after his F-Series crawled down the gravel drive—Sidney shakes his head and laughs. Collecting his cell and his radio, he slips out of the truck, watching as you fret like a mother hen.
Still in your slippers, you're stood at the base of a decently-sized red spruce wedged between his yard and yours, your crumpled face angled up into the yellow-green needles. You're the very picture of worry, wringing your trembling hands and muttering to yourself.
A stray kitten caught in a tree, that's what's got you in a such a state.
"Well, this is a new one," he bellows in lieu of a greeting, slamming the door shut as his boots hit the ground.
Briefly, your glassy eyes dart in his direction. You're midway through your customary apology when he arrives at your side and quiets you, just as he always does.
"They're more than capable of holding down the fort for however long it takes to rescue our new friend, okay?"
"I know, but what if—"
"But nothing," Sidney huffs, and he dares to take you by the shoulders. And, externally, he ignores the way you shiver under his palms. "If I didn't think it was safe for me to step out for a couple of minutes, I wouldn't. You believe me, right?"
You nod, bottom lip pinched between your teeth.
"Good. Now, how 'bout you keep an ear on this," Sidney sets the clunky satellite radio in your hand, "—and I'll grab the ladder from the shed?"
He doesn't really need your help monitoring the channel, but he knows you'll feel better if you feel like you're doing something. Like him, you find comfort in your utility.
In less than a minute, Sidney re-emerges, rounding the corner with a ladder in hand. You're in the same spot, now fidgeting with the radio, anxiously dumping it from one palm to the other and back again. He follows your gaze to line up the simple equipment necessary for the rescue operation.
Sidney's heart swells as you quietly step forward to spot him.
Lucky for everyone, the ball of orange fur is on the branch nearest to the ground. Sidney needs only to step up onto the first wrung to safetly coax the frightened creature into his waiting hands, he's back on the ground not long after.
He gives the kitten a gentle parting scratch under the chin, then transfers the purring fluff to you. The soft bundle takes to you immediately, nuzzling into your chest like that's where it wanted to be all along.
"I think he likes you," Sidney observes with a cheek-numbing grin.
Your lips are tipped up at the end and there's fan of happiness rooting itself around your eyes. Your mouth opens to reply, but before the words come—
"Well, would you look at this?"
Across the quiet street and a few houses to the left sits an audience of two. Both of which are now cooing as loudly as two ladies in their sixties can manage. Coffee cups in one hand and their cellphones propped up in the other, they fawn over the two of you as if it's live theater.
Sidney curses their sons, who he'd completed the explorer program with as teens, for enabling this technological torture.
"Smile, you two! Oh, Denise is just going to eat this up," one of them, a spitfire in a 4'11 frame by the name of Mrs. Bouchard, exclaims to her co-conspirator, Ms. Johnston.
Then, to no one's surprise and Sid's chagrin, they giddily type out their respective messages to the local paper's equally-nosy editor-in-chief.
"Looks like we're front-page news again," you hum bashfully.
The tabby mewls in your arms. You curl into the little bundle of fur, lips landing between its delicate ears.
Sid studies you in his periphery as he slips in and out of heady contemplation, ultimately deciding he doesn't mind as much as he once did. "That we are..."
eek! wait, why do i luv them already 🥹
as always, i would really appreciate if you reblogged my work, left a comment or dropped by my inbox w some feedback :) fandom runs on engagement, and so do writers!! thx a mil in advance!
READ MORE OF THEM HERE!
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love-toxin · 1 year
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Absolutely frothing at the mouth for ur recent leon stuff ESPECIALLY that last thing you just did w him I am SEXUALIZING this man please don't stop 😭😭💗💗
struck with the thought of Leon >>>>> moaning >>>>>> sweating, flexing during some reunion sex 🥺 even better if it's reunion AND makeup sex-!!!!
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set the scene: you get into a huge fight with your boyfriend right before he's about to leave on another big trip, and Leon being Leon finds better solace in just leaving and electing to figure it all out later because he can't think well when he's pissed at you. plus he knows he's getting himself into even worse danger than you even know about, so it's better that he leaves you at home--and maybe it's better if you hate him too, so if and when he dies on this mission it won't hurt you as badly when you can remember him as a bastard. he hates it but what is he good for? pissing you off? that seems to be the only thing. so he leaves, and prays to gods he doesn't even believe in anymore that he'll be able to make this all up to you when he comes back.
but then Spain happens, shit hits the fan, and Leon gets some very disturbing news. apparently there's not only whispers of the girl he might be looking for around the church, but there's supposedly also another person being kept captive here if Luis' word is to be trusted. Leon's more concerned with having to escort two civilians rather than just the one, but he's got no clue who it could be. he doesn't even think it, it doesn't even cross his mind.
he's absolutely devastated and somehow relieved that it's you. that your beautiful eyes are the ones he lands on when he steps into the cell, your hand on Ashley's arm to comfort her and your breath visibly hitching in your throat when you see who your savior is.
and while it doesn't last long, it can't with where you are, you kiss and embrace and he squeezes those huge arms around your waist and you sob into his neck about how sorry you are, about how you wish you'd never yelled at him, how you prayed you'd see him again even though you don't deserve to. and Leon basically has you off your feet he's got you so wrapped up in his arms, murmuring at the same time that everything's gonna be okay, you're gonna be okay, he's not mad he's so sorry he argued with you, they're gonna pay for what they did to my baby. every scrape and bump and bruise will be repayed tenfold, he thinks as he grits his teeth and bites his cheek until it bleeds.
but no matter what comes next, it comes and goes in a blur. the shells exploding, blood and gore splattering over yours and Ashley's heads as Leon directs you away from danger, running and barely being clipped by Los Iluminados as they grab for you and the president's daughter. eventually, through all of those catastrophies, you and Leon find a moment to yourselves and you take it the second it's presented.
it matters little that you don't even have a bed, or you can barely get your clothes off because you need to be ready to shoot at a moment's notice--it's time for you both to express your apologies and you couldn't possibly have enough words to do so.
which is exactly why Leon lifts you off your feet like you weigh absolutely nothing, rubs you against his cock so easily it's like he's lowering a fleshlight to the tip, and guides you with both hands on your ass to sink down and take him inside, cloaked in nothing but a thin condom he had saved in his wallet for emergencies. he wants to take it slow but he can't, he wants to be gentle but you feel so good god he missed this.....the only respite he gets is from thinking about you and now that you're here, he's gonna let you hook your arms round his neck and your legs round his waist as he carries you, so you can bounce on his cock as much as you want without your feet ever touching the floor. suspended here for him, up high on his hips with your sweet holes stretched all the way out for him, this is what he wanted, what he craved for so long.
you still cry out your apologies, but they muffle themselves into his lips and disappear when he kisses them into moans. even covered in blood and dirt and sniffling as you whimper his name, you're still the most gorgeous thing he's ever seen and you've got the sweetest body he could ever imagine making love to. he adjusts his grip on you, watches you squeak with a twinge of pain as you slip a little further down and squeeze his head deeper into your shoulder--and he loves that, he loves that when you're hurt, you reach for him first. because you truly love him, don't you? he can't imagine you'd agree to fucking him in a ruined cabin if you didn't, much less be the one climbing in his lap and blubbering with that adorable pout because you just wanted him to hold you. that frustrated scowl from before he left is completely gone, and he couldn't be more relieved because he hates making you angry--and he knows that it was mostly his fault.
but you're so needy for him and he loves that. he loves that you can't get close enough as he holds you up, that you're basically drooling all over his mouth because he's fucking you so good your brain isn't working, and he loves that when he whimpers right back and does it so close to your ear, you scrabble for better purchase on his toned back and whine for him to keep going. be louder. you don't think it's girly or weird that he makes noise, in fact it turns you on to listen to him moan and beg and gasp for you like he's doing now. like you're a breath of pure, clean air and his lungs are drained and empty. he loves that it makes you clench around him when he does it, and that it turns you on just as much as his biceps that you're running a hand down to feel the way it flexes, as he slams your hips down to warm his full length inside that soft, tight heat he can't stop chasing.
he knows he has a job to do, but it just has to wait. Ashley can wait, Luis can wait, Hunnigan can wait, the whole world can wait--when he feels his cock twitching and he squeezes you down to the base to finish you off, those few moments of bliss you share together are the only things that matter. and while your walls are still spasming and clenching down on him and you're mewling his name and nothing else, Leon pulls you up prematurely and slides that awful, preventative sleeve of rubber off his dick and slings it aside to fall to the floor, before slowly settling you back on top to push into that addictive heat once more. he hasn't got another, and he doesn't care--those lone trickles of cum squishing right up inside you and your walls squeezing him for dear life feels more right than anything else he's done in his miserable life, and as long as nobody's interrupting you, Leon's not gonna stop for anything more.
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francesderwent · 6 months
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been thinking about the whole “women in their thirties are refusing to get married and have kids because they’re selfish and ungodly and that’s what’s wrong with today’s society” shtick and what I think is this.
sometimes, women are single on purpose through their own choice. I’m one of them. I wasn’t in a relationship from the ages of twenty-two to thirty. I went on a very few first dates and even fewer second dates, and in every single one of those cases I was the one who said "thanks but I don't think we should pursue this any further", which isn't even to say anything about all the dates I turned down right off the bat and all the casual overtures I rebuffed. and those men weren't vicious monsters, they were all more or less basically decent. I could have married any one of them - even the ones I wouldn't go on first dates with. if I wanted to be married, I could have been. I chose not to be.
and it does have something to do with the fact that I was used to being single, but not in the sense of not having any room in my life for somebody else, not wanting to put in the work, not wanting to live for someone else. because anybody who's been single for a long time will tell you the only saving grace is filling your life with meaningful friendships and family relationships you can sacrifice for and be vulnerable in. a single life isn't necessarily a life where you're accountable to no one. sometimes it's a life where you're accountable to a whole lot of people, all at once, pulled in a lot of directions, trying to balance a lot of plates.
and the kicker is, when you have a life that's full like that, and you're used to it - when that's the firm status quo and you're not caught up in the rollercoaster of dating a lot and comparing new partners to old partners - then, when you do let a new person into your life, you can tell very quickly whether they make your life better or not. some people, you can comfortably date them and they're not going to make your life worse, but they don't add anything besides an excuse to get out to coffeeshops and restaurants and the movies. and some people, as soon as you start getting to know them, their influence starts creeping into the whole of your life because they make you want to be better all the time. I like to think the second kind of person would shine no matter when you met them, no matter what else was going on at the time. but in certain circumstances the first kind of person can shine, when they’re surrounded by a muddle of people who have made your life worse. so taking a step back from the muddle and being very careful who you let into your life in a big way isn't selfishness, or disrespect for marriage and family. it’s actually a kind of prudence.
I could've married any of those men who asked me out in my twenties. I chose not to, because they were just okay. and eventually, I met my current boyfriend, who makes me want to be a better daughter and sister, who encouraged me to stop bottling everything up and suffering in silence so that I could actually be emotionally vulnerable, not just with him but with my friends and family!, who has deepened my faith by showing me what agapic love looks like.
and I wasn't guaranteed any of that. when I was turning down dates and ending fledgling relationships, I had no way of knowing that this was even possible. but I think I made the right decision - and if he'd never turned up, I still think I would've made the right decision. Lizzie didn’t know that she would marry Mr Darcy, a man she loved and truly respected and admired, when she turned down Mr Collins. but she was right to turn down Mr Collins.
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galene-gothic · 11 months
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𝖶𝗁𝗈 𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 ?
୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱
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˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES
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⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 1 ꒱
This person triggers your childhood issues by making you relive certain patterns. They likely had a messed up childhood too though. When you first met this person, you might've had a lot of dreams including them. As you started getting to know them, the more attached you grew, to the point of obsession actually. This person is neglecting their inner child. They daydream a lot in general and I think after the both of you seperated, maladaptive daydreaming became a coping mechanism for them. They seem to be insecure about themself and their image. Especially, now more than ever because they might have thought that you'd stick by their side forever but you chose to walk away. They're emotionally immature and act really childish and when I say that I do not mean that they act like a child, I mean that they lack the ability and understanding to deal with matters in a way a healthy adult does. Likely, because they're unhealed, they're also very sensitive towards their emotions but when it comes to yours, they neglected it completely. If this person is still in your life, you need to burn the bridge, the way they're acting is helping it burn anyway 💀. They have a tendency to reject your emotions, "I felt hurt because of what you said" "You do not understand me, I was just joking and I'm going through a hard time please just leave me the fuck alone." This person invented the concept of 'hurt people, hurt people', they're emotionally wounded and wound everyone around them, then, they sit there and go "everyone leaves me". They tend to take simple confrontation as a direct attack on them. They likely treated you like trash and were unaware of the consequences. They see you as someone who lacks direction and self control. They also think that you're kind of pushy. They think that you have some sort of a strong conflict with them. They think that you're arrogant even though you are not all that. Honestly, you might've acted really humble with them, downplaying yourself and your accomplishments with them so that they didn't feel insecure but on the inside, you were and are actually pretty strong. They think that you question life's purpose a lot. They think that you fear change. You might have had a strong foundation with them so they still have some amount of faith that you'll go back into their life. I'm getting that they can either see or feel that you're starting fresh and they haven't come in terms with it yet. The kind of energy I'm getting is.
Just an example, by the way, supposing you've been friends with someone since you were in middle-school, even when you're in college, they cannot let go of that image of you even though you've changed a lot. They think that you're someone who fears change but they can see or feel that you're stepping into an evolved version of yourself. When they were in your life, you might've been a person who clinged onto the past and they still want to think that you're like that but they have a small fear of like "what if they're actually changing?" They think that you act really irrational sometimes even though I think that you were often driven to the point of irrationality. They seem to expect a lot from you without giving you anything because you've always given them a lot for free. They think that you refuse to see things as they are, even though they seem to be the person doing it right now. They think that you act passive aggressive. Even though, everytime you tried to talk to them in a mature manner, they just shut you down. They're thinking about how they lashed out and hurt your feelings. I'm getting that now that you're gone, they're starting to look at you through a different lens. Before, they looked at you through the '___ will never leave anyway' kinda way but now they're looking at you through rose-tinted glasses. "Damn, they treated me so well but that's how I treated them." They feel a lot of guilt towards you. They still find it unreal that you let go of them. They just cannot accept it. They don't really talk to anyone about what happened. Maybe, their friends, etc. don't really know you, you might've been a secret to them. This is upsetting, to be honest. They have mixed feelings and thoughts, while they think and believe that you are not over them, that you'll be back, they're starting to feel like maybe this time you actually won't come back. You might have a history of leaving this person and going back to them, again and again. They have a feeling that you're focusing on your life purpose and think that you might've found a new hobby or are just focused on improving yourself, your art, getting an education, etc. They also think that you're healing right now. They kind of know that you've had enough of their shirt, they think that you're managing your emotions and staying true to yourself. They think that you're focused on peace. For some of you, they think that you're just with someone else right now but once you guys split, you'll go back to this person again.
They sometimes just go 'what if ___ thinks I'm good riddance?' and you probably do think that way. They assume that you think that the both of you had a good foundation. They kind of believe that you'll be back because of how strong that foundation was, even though that faith is starting to shake now. I think the both of you were pretty comfortable with each other until it was not possible anymore. They think that you felt like your investment of love, time and energy was worth it but things have changed now. They think that you're probably really disappointed at them and also at the situation. They know that they made you feel really sad, pretty much abandoned. They think that they made you feel emotionally unstable and lonely. They think that you're likely still processing it. They wonder if you're happy with where you're at right now because they seem to have treated you really bad. They're mentally overwhelmed. They have kind of taken the loss. There was a lack of proper communication. They barely even have the energy to think. They feel confused though. They're struggling to let go because you added a lot of support and value into their life. They regret not listening to you. They find themself stressing about this situation but they choose to have faith that you'll go back to them. My advice is that you stay away from them but the decision is up to you ofcourse. They feel like you're the kind of relationship that goes through thick and thin together, even though, you were the only one going through all of it. You awakened something in them. They were shallow and had a character/spiritual poverty but they're starting to come out of it, thanks to you. I think, since guilt is the only thing that they can feel close to you, they're holding it very close but now they're trying to forgive and accept themself and the situation. They feel like they were very difficult and disagreeable with you. They know that they acted unworthy of your trust. They're actually feeling really weak and needy right now. They remember you as someone who was really struggling and was stuck in a cycle with them. They also remember you as a really loving person though. They remember how trustworthy and supportive you always proved to be. They remember you as someone kind of free who was maybe kind of non-committal but they also remember that your loyalty towards them was very strong. They reminisce about the days when you used to talk all night.
⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 2 ꒱
They have a tendency to overspend. They're shedding their old skin. They're generous and giving towards others. They're kind of possessive of the ones they want though. What I'm getting is that this person was protecting themself to the point you had to walk away from them. They're someone who has a structured routine. They're structuring and strategising their next moves towards you but they feel like the responsibilities that they'll have to take will be really heavy. They were very defensive which caused you to believe that they do not feel anything towards you, I just heard 'apathy'. They're daydreaming a lot about you. They're not being able to see the bright side when it comes to this situation. I'm not sure what happened but they regret whatever happened. Maybe, they didn't make their decision quick enough, they chose someone else but what I'm getting is that they were in fact stringing you along. They wonder what things would've been like if they were willing and able to grow up. They remember you in a very nostalgic way. They seem tired of everything. You might even think that they acted very ungrateful but maybe because this person didn't really promise anything to you, you're not thinking about it too much. You are likely like "I wanted to give ___ to them so I did, while I feel like I wasted it, it's alright". You're not the kind of person who makes noise just because you spent money, time or energy on someone and things didn't work out. They feel like they kept you around for their own personal needs. This person might've been one of the people who used to thrive off of having options and they're starting to realise that it was detrimental. They feel like they acted really cold and closed off towards you. They enjoyed it when you used to reach out to them, you used to give them a lot attention even though they did not return the same to you. It made them feel superior. They're starting to realise that it was kinda manipulative and harsh of them.
They were playing stupid games and they won stupid prizes. They feel like they might have judged you too harshly too. They're feeling kind of trapped. They feel like you've let go or are letting go. They feel like you often put them first in the past. They think that they made you feel really insecure at some point. They see you as someone who's accepting of other people's differences. They see you as someone loyal, atleast towards them. They think that you empathise with others and try to be understanding towards them. They feel like you are loving and interested in giving and receiving love. They're not feeling stable within themself. They're feeling impatient to the point of recklessness, if they're not acting reckless in front of you right now, which I feel like you don't give them the chance to act, they are doing things by themself that are kinda reckless. The thing is, this person is not able to do anything long term. I recommend that you stay away from them but it's ultimately your choice at the end of the day. They are still feeling and acting very selfish. I'm not getting that they feel any guilt, they just regret what they did because you don't give them energy anymore. They are commitment phobic and pretty fixed on staying single, no matter how many hearts they have broken and will continue breaking doesn't matter to them at all. They want you back in their life but it's just for this selfish cause. They'll likely make empty promises if you do re-enter their life. They think that you see them as someone who's just not ready to commit. They think that you think that they're neglectful of other's especially your needs. They think that you think that they fear commitment and don't face your emotions. They think that you see them as someone who lacks communication skills and is unwilling to communicate. They think that you see them as someone immature and someone who fears abandonment. They'll likely not come forward and you should move on.
⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 3 ꒱
This person is maturing and growing. The energy I'm getting is that you've seen them when they were not as mature too. Maybe, an ex friend or an ex lover who left the hometown for college or work. There's an energy of seeing each other grow up or something. Even though, they've let go of the past, they haven't really. They look at life and especially, you through rose tinted glasses. I'm not getting that you are on good terms though. They feel homesick and want to go back to how things were. I'm getting that it was probably a platonic connection though. Coming across anything that reminds them of you, stirs up their emotions. They're worried that the grudges that might be present in the connection are still there. You might have recently met them in some sort of a reunion and maybe it was awkward or you might've received an invitation to a reunion or to hang out and they might be invited too. You've likely known them since your childhood or teenage days though. You guys had a lot of fun together. 'Ditto' by newjeans started playing. The both of you didn't have a hard time accepting and working with your differences. You used to feel so safe and happy with each other. I'm definitely getting something that was long term though, maybe you were in the same friendgroup for years or know each other since childhood. You were emotionally content with each other. I'm definitely getting a community-like vibe, same school, town, neighbourhood, etc. They are thinking about you because when you were having a lot of chaos in your life, they added more to it and didn't support you.
They're thinking about how you've suddenly changed. I think they basically did everything to make you feel less than and when you chose to stand up for yourself. You ended up coming off kinda aggressive and they chose to use that against you too. They're thinking about how bad your mental health must've been at that time. They think that you've developed a 'i ain't taking anyone's shit' attitude. They were triggered to think about their behaviour when things fell off with a man, it could be their homie, boyfriend or whatever but the man acted very immature which caused them to think about the way they acted with you. They think that they were being quick to anger when it comes to you which caused them to come off as unreliable. They were being very manipulative and they're aware of it. I'm getting that for whatever reason, you're not around any of the people who remind you of them but for them, the people they're around likely bring you up a lot and they do the same too. I'm getting an ex friend group vibe. When they're having fun with their friends or literally just meeting them, they end up thinking about how you used to be there too. They recently met or talked to someone and were reminded of you, probably because the other person brought you up. I think the main issue here was envy. They think that you're someone seductive and you attract the gender that they're interested in. If they are not a friend but a romantic interest, then they were jealous and upset about the options that you had. Maybe, they didn't attract as many people as you did or atleast that's what they thought.
They think that you're someone who gets whatever they want. They might think that you're kind of childish too. I feel like, you were childish in the past but aren't anymore though. They think that you're self-reliant and don't need them. They think that you're wise and elegant. They think that you can treat yourself now. They think that you're kind of happy and content without them. They think that you're successful in certain areas. They see you as someone who's always growing, they don't understand how things are always going well for you. I just heard "she knows how to talk to guys" 💀. They think that you take action towards the things that you want. They feel like things have grown distant between the both of you and it's ruined to the point of no repair. The thing is, you seem to having a good life, things seem to be working for you while they feel like it's not the same for them. They compare themself to you a lot. They feel kind of defensive too because they think that you're happy and content without them. They feel like you don't need them anymore. They think that you've not gotten over what they did to you, the negative things, you'll never be able to get over it, even if you do forgive them, you'll never be able to trust and love them again, that's what they think. They wonder how you feel towards them, they think that you do feel nostalgic when thinking about them. They also think that if they do reach out to you, you'll not make any rash decisions. They think that you'll prefer having more information about them before making any decision. They think that you might even outright tell them that you've let go of them.
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utilitycaster · 4 months
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To elaborate on this post specifically with regards to Worlds Beyond Number, well, Suvi says it all, really:
They love being on my tab, they love having fun, they love being protected by me, but they never listen to me and they don't care.
Because here is the thing. Suvi is of the Citadel, which is part of the Empire. We do not have a full understanding of the geopolitical system but as a rule an empire is participating in conquest; sometimes two empires both exist and attack each other and so the exact scenario gets very gray and complicated but I think we do all agree the Empire is not great.
Suvi is of the Citadel. She holds a position of great privilege within the Citadel. This is in part because her parents were, as far as we know, betrayed and murdered by an enemy of the Citadel (having themselves been, again, based on what we know, reformers and rule-breakers as well as extremely capable spies) and she was adopted by one of their closest friends, who became the Sword of the Citadel.
She is not the Citadel. She is a 20-year old who was primarily raised within it, with all of the above complications of her parents. She is not single-handedly responsible for every action the citadel takes. She is not personally trying to stop Ame or Eursulon, only saying that there will be consequences if they leave. Consequences that she has experienced after Ame ran into the kudzu and Eursulon went after Naram and they all attempted to break Ame's curse; consequences she knows will become more and more dire if she continues to disobey Steel, particularly a direct order; consequences that already resulted in Ame being in a coma for a month. (The court-martial, I will say, is entirely on Suvi; the rest is not).
And in all of those situations: Ame and Eursulon were, as Suvi says, happy to have Suvi's purse pay for room and board, and her wizard's staff open doors, and to be put up and fed at the Chantry, and take the skyships, and train at the Citadel and have a marvelous time there. It's been several days and they could have left sooner, and they didn't. It's very "no ethical consumption under capitalism, which means that I can do whatever I want" rather than like, attempting to make slightly less harmful choices from Ame and Eursulon. Their choices aren't coming from a principled stance against the Citadel and Empire; they are coming from a "well, thanks for all the fun and the safe place to stay and the resources for research but you told me not to do something I wanted to do and I won't wait an hour to try and see if we can come to a solution that works for everyone."
For that matter, they're making these choices in part because of what a wizard of the citadel is saying to them; and yet Suvi's presence was said by that very wizard to be crucial to Ame's survival, and they're still not waiting.
[stepping outside of all of the above and the below: I think all the actions being taken, as a listener, are fucking great because this is D&D and conflict is fun and also all of these characters are like, the equivalent of 20 years old and level 2; this is not me saying Suvi is right and Ame and Eursulon are wrong. Rather, Suvi is no less right or wrong than the others, and she is extremely justified in feeling hurt and angry and that her friends are willing to take and not give.]
Something I've found in a lot of sf stories but especially actual play is a pretty strong and frankly, weird bias within the fandom of exactly this nature, as the linked post said. Someone affiliated with an empire or a power is somehow, as an individual, responsible for every harmful action that power commits. They're brainwashed. They're evil. They don't get it. They just need to come around to the right mentality. And that right mentality is, of course, that of the good rural person with nature magic. They are a leader within their small community and hold an immense amount of power over them - and perhaps beyond - but don't worry, they use it correctly. They're wise and they're right about everything.
Except they're not. They are frequently either idealistic to the point of ignoring the realities of the situation, or very limited in their viewpoint, or do not realize the immense privilege of being in their position as both a person in nigh absolute benevolent power within a small domain and also the only person with that power. Those wise, provincial, nature-based characters rarely understand that to exist within a complex and yes, extremely flawed and even ill-intentioned system like the Citadel is to be, even as a person with privilege within that hierarchy, a cog.
Suvi cannot just leave. She exists within a vast system and she is not stupid or brainwashed for acknowledging the realities of it. I think that yes, a very possible path forward for her is one in which she grows to question the Citadel's practices. I also think that to treat her as the embodiment of this entire empire, or to expect that her only way to be a good person is via a sudden about-face at the cost of everything she has, when she is a level 2 apprentic, is not just overly simplistic but flat-out incorrect. And I think that to assume Ame is objectively correct for not waiting a very brief amount of time for Steel (when, in fact, one could argue she should have left immediately upon being contacted; she had been absent from her duties for months already) is similarly oversimplifying to the point where one's conclusions are no longer useful.
Recall that witches' familiars are said to embody the traits within them that, to be an effective steward of their position, they often must set aside. Ame has been letting hers lead her.
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decolonize-the-left · 5 months
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Is anyone else just completely disillusioned? Done?
I could not think any less of people still talking about celebrities or how their biggest issues are not having a Starbucks cup that's $50
Like why are we as a collective letting people like that run the lives of everyone on the planet? A planet rife with unnecessary conflict and greed? People who can't be bothered to just Not go to chick-fil-a?
Why are people who clearly value profit over humanity in charge of humanity, ykwim? How the fuck did that become a majority opinion?
I drive thru my nuclear town, I go to our community events, our local small businesses, I try to support my community in ways I can everyday. But I can't help but notice that So Many of the people who do that alongside me, don't show up to protest for the rights of the people they claim to support.
Its all so incredibly shallow and one dimensional and obviously disingenuous and why the fuck are the rest of STILL begging for the ability to make changes within the framework they built?
Why are we still making educational posts for them and trying to make them understand when the first thing we are taught about reaching understand is that you must first be willing to listen and they refuse.
The ruling classes never listened. Never, ever have they granted anyone any oppressed group rights that they asked for without the group needing to fight for it. And it's always after generations of oppression.
I'm fucking tired of being nice and pretending the laws they made up matter and like their socially constructed bureaucracy is the only way to make change to be quite fucking honest.
They're LUCKY we use it EVER and now they don't even fucking listen to our voicemails?
The only things stopping me from taking what's mine are disabilities and I'm Dying to know what everyone else's excuses are.
Or is that?
Are we all physically too incapable? Is every single able bodied person actually a liberal fascist?
Asking for the disabled Turtle Mountain Ojibwe person typing this who's life literally depends on y'all caring enough about other people to make life anything but a list of systematic circumstances I'll suffer from until I eventually die early of an illness I can't afford medical aids for and which are not provided for me either.
And if you're able bodied and you feel the same... Start working outside that framework and stop asking so nicely. Stop giving a shit if you don't have the support of the oppressors and their liberal foot soldiers.
Stop worrying about what CNN is gonna say about you because I promise that the people who matter and Understand you will be inspired to follow in your foot steps and supportive.
Get active in your co-ops, mutual aid groups, and consider training like you're black bloc.
Learn what direct action is and how to do it and start doing it. Just reading theory era is over.
More of this
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less whatever the level of cognitive dissonance this is
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Imagine saying 'i voted so I did everything I could' like the suffragettes didn't have an arson and bombing campaign because the people who Could vote were people benefitted from their systemic silence and thus did almost Nothing to help them get voting rights and they Refused to let oppressor laziness be their obstacle.
Yeah, they don't teach you that in Voting Matters School the suffragettes were bombing the UK just a year or two before they got their rights do they?
The only language oppressors will listen to is their own.
And I'm Tired of pretending otherwise because that delusion is what makes the privileged feel like they don't have to do anything but vote and makes them feel they're justified to criticize those of us that fight back through other avenues.
And maybe if we had politicians that gave a shit about any of us then those votes and movements and public sentiment would have a bigger sway in government, but they don't.
They don't fucking care.
Why are we still giving them power over any of us and letting them tell us what to do and demonize us when they use that power allowed to kill us and bury us in unmarked graves in some field in Mississippi? And make everything so expensive that the richest citizens on earth struggle to pay their bills?
Why can a government only "condemn" a state agent's right to shoot an unarmed protester 57 times, but they can bypass Congress to send Israel billions upon billions worth of weapons?
I'm tired of pretending this country is anything but a front for White Supremacists when every liberal I see is trying to gaslight everyone into thinking genocide is acceptable.
Shut the fuck up and get out of my equality tags, fascist.
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sourwolf-sterek32 · 4 months
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The Dirt (Your Version)
Summary: Meeting Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee was a coincidence. Being friends was a choice. But falling in love with them both was beyond your control.
Or
A rewrite of The Dirt with all the highs and lows of Mötley Crüe from your perspective.
Pairings: Nikki Sixx x Reader, Tommy Lee x Reader, Nikki Sixx x Tommy Lee x Reader
Word Count: 4.2k
Trigger warning- past child abuse, homophobic language
Previous Chapter
Chapter 16- Crash and Burn
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After months and months of nonstop touring. Perform, fly to the next city, perform and repeat with no breaks, it burnt the guys out.
Mötley Crüe were pushing the limits of their sobriety. They were exhausted, so depleted, so devoid of all thought and emotion and it wasn't even the end of the tour yet.
"Lemon drop?" A waitress offered, walking over to Mötley's table at the local club while holding out a tray of brightly coloured shots.
"No, thank you. Just some more waters." Nikki politely declined from across the table.
"This is great." Vince commented sarcastically raising his glass of plain water.
You kicked his boot from under the table causing him to glare at you, but he didn't say anything before leaning back against his chair with a heavy sigh.
The rest of the guys tried to distract themselves from the alcohol by watching the girls dance on the poles at the far side of the club, but that clearly wasn't working for Vince.
Tommy excused himself to try and phone his wife again. But it had been a week straight of not being able to reach Heather due to a busy work schedule and it was taking its toll on the drummer.
"They're keeping us on the road. Fifteen new days in Canada." Nikki informed taking a sip of his drink.
"I haven't seen anything about any new dates." Vince responded with a frown.
"Check your itinerary, man."
"I would, but somebody doesn't think it's important to let the lead fucking singer know what the fuck is going on here." Your brother snapped before aggressively grabbing his glass of water and drinking the last of it.
You glanced between him and Nikki, relieved that the bassist didn't retaliate at your brother's hostile tone. Everyone was getting worn out, tempers were running thin, and it was only a matter of time before someone broke.
"Guys, I fucked up." Tommy announced, right on cue.
He plonked himself down on his seat at the table looking tired and miserable.
"Heather's been all weird and distant and I drank." He admitted guiltily staring down at his hands. "Well, a little. I had one shot and I'm sorry."
"I'm gonna have a fucking cocktail too, man. What are you gonna do about it, Nikki?" Vince challenged.
"Everybody falls off the wagon once in a while-"
"Fuck you, man." Vince cut him off causing Nikki to shoot him a heated look. "Fuck off! Fuck the rest of this tour. It is the No Fucking Fun tour, and I am sick and tired of not having any fucking fun."
"Vince-" You tried to say but he abruptly stood up from his chair and began marching off.
"I don't wanna fucking hear it!"
You watched him walk off in the direction of the bar before Nikki shot to his feet and went after him.
Oh, here we go.
You jumped to your feet as well, Mick and Tommy remaining seated watching on to see what would happen as you rushed across the club towards them.
"Hey, we're not done!" Nikki shouted grabbing Vince's jacket.
Your brother spun around and shoved Nikki in the chest hard causing the bassist to stumble back a step.
"We fucking are, man."
"Enough. Both of you." You ordered, stepping between the two of them while holding your hand up towards your brother ready to stop him from doing anything else while eyeing Nikki cautiously out the corner of your eye.
You loved them both dearly, but Vince had more of a temper than Nikki. So, it was him you were worried about at the moment, but you also knew how angry Nikki could get if provoked.
Vince glared at Nikki over your shoulder, his mouth thinning with displeasure before he looked down at you and clenched his jaw tightly as if holding back what he wanted to say.
"Let's just sit back down and take a breather, yeah?" You suggested holding your brothers gaze, but he simply shook his head before looking at Nikki behind you.
"Oh, and by the way..." He began to say, his voice hardening ruthlessly as he grabbed a shot from a waitress walking past. "Here's to your sober band."
Vince down the shot before dropping the glass letting it shatter against the ground before he turned and shouted over his shoulder.
"Get me that itinerary, bass player."
Vince marched off towards the bar and you glanced back at Nikki who looked ready to charge right back after him.
"Don't." You warned, shaking your head. "Just let him cool off."
Nikki let out a heavy exhale but nodded allowing you to walk him back to the table where Mick and Tommy were sitting having watched the whole thing. None of them commented on it, they didn't have to.
Eventually, you convinced the manager to send the band home for a while and you had never seen the guys look so relieved.
They all loved the rockstar life and wouldn't trade it for the world. It was all their dreams coming true, but even Mötley Crüe had their limits and they had found theirs.
After the much-needed break, the band got back into the studio and started working on the next album. Everyone was keen to try and top Dr. Feelgood, everyone except for Vince. Your brother hadn't just drunk that single shot at the club. He had gone back to drinking like he used to before rehab, and it was bad.
Sharise had filed for a divorce and when he returned from the tour, the mansion was empty. His ex-wife had taken his daughter and left without a goodbye. So, Vince turned to the only thing he knew how to do to numb the pain, drink alcohol.
They were all slipping off the wagon again, but Vince was the one who was letting it affect his work. He would constantly show up late to the studio and sometimes, he just wouldn't show up at all and everyone was getting sick of it.
There was a bad storm today, but the guys all came to the studio anyway, battling the conditions but Vince wasn't there despite living the closest. The longer they had to wait, the more pissed they became.
Nikki slammed the phone down after another failed call to Vince's house.
"I'm telling you, guys, everything is fucking upside down and flip-flopping. And while we're waiting for our lead singer to get his head out of his ass, we're getting left in the dust, man." Tommy grumbled, but you knew where this conversation was going. He had said it too many times to count and you didn't want to hear it.
"Tommy, zip it." You warned, glaring over at him from your spot on the couch.
"I'm just saying, bands replace their front men, and it still works. Van Halen-"
"I know Van Halen fucking did it 'cause you say that every single time Vince misses a fucking rehearsal." Nikki said cutting him off.
"Well? Mick?" Tommy asked looking over at the older man for backup.
"Shut it." He ordered causing Tommy to sigh. "Where is this asshole? Every second that goes by, I feel another bone rotting from this fucking disease. Call the prick again."
Nikki lowered his bass and walked back over to the phone on the table, but once again, there was no answer.
"Y/N, seriously, where the fuck is your brother?" Nikki asked, slamming the phone down so hard you feared he may have broken it.
"I'm not his fucking keeper." You snapped from where you were lying on the couch before sighing and taking in a deep calming breath. "He's going through shit. Just give him some time."
"We're all going through shit, and he's had enough time. I'm sending him a fax." Nikki muttered before he stormed out the room.
Nearly an hour later, Tommy sat behind his drums while Nikki and Mick stood nearby with their bass and guitar around their shoulders trying to work out a rhythm for a new song.
You stood in front of the microphone taking over from your brother's position like you usually did whenever he missed these rehearsals. You could not sing like Vince in the slightest. You were a backup singer at the very most, but hearing the lyrics being sung helped the guys with their instruments so you agreed to do it.
Suddenly, the door to the studio slammed open and the music died as Vince marched inside, his hair and clothes drenched from the pouring rain still pelting down from outside.
"Someone wanna tell me what the fuck's going on here?"
"Let's save us all some time, especially yours, Vince, as it's clearly more fucking valuable than ours!" Nikki shouted, walking up to your brother until they were practically toe to toe.
You lowered your hand from the microphone pole and took a few cautious steps towards them not liking how hostile this conversation was already.
"You'd better tell me what the fuck's going on, man." Vince growled.
"What's going on is we're down here, and we're working, and we wanna be here, but we are tired of forcing you to be here with us."
"Maybe I'd come in more if I liked the material."
"Maybe you'd like the material if you were in the studio making it with us instead of staring at your fucking watch!" Tommy barked from behind his drums.
"Yeah, I'm staring at my watch because this album is fucking stupid!"
The bullshit flew back and forth between the guys like a game of tennis until Vince finally threw his racket at the ground.
"You know what? Fuck all y'all. I am done. Fuck this. I quit."
"Good, 'cause you're fucking fired!" Nikki snapped.
"I quit already, dick." Your brother said over his shoulder.
"Whoa, wait, wait." You jogged after him. "No. Vin, bro, come on. Let's just talk about-"
"I'm done."
"Vince-" You grabbed his arm, but he shoved you back forcefully causing you to trip over your own feet and fall to the ground, hard.
"Fuck off, Y/N."
"Whoa!" Nikki shouted, stepping forward protectively.
"What the fuck, man? She's your sister!" Tommy exclaimed, rushing around his drums and dropping to his knees beside you to see if you were okay, but you waved him off.
"She's just a fucking slut who spreads her legs for you guys!" Vince spat.
The room fell silent.
The only sound was the old clock on the wall ticking by at each passing second.
You, Tommy and Nikki froze. Your eyes widened in shock and Vince smiled maliciously.
"You thought I wouldn't find out about that?"
Nobody said anything. You didn't know what to say and doubted you'd be able to speak even if you wanted to.
How the hell did he know?
"When I figured it out, and I figured it out pretty fucking quickly. I wanted to kill you both." Vince growled glaring at Tommy and Nikki. "But I didn't. That wasn't weakness. It took everything."
"Let me explain-" you began to say but he cut you off.
"Explain what? That you're a slut who fucks the two nearest guys?!"
You jumped to your feet in an instant and stalked over to him getting in his face.
"You have no fucking right to say that to me!" You hissed. "Not when you fuck every girl that comes close to you. Not when you cheated on your wife all tour and then wondered why she fucking dumped your ass."
The second the words were out your mouth, you regretted them. It was a low blow. It was true but you shouldn't have said it. Vince was struggling enough as it was with Sharise leaving and his daughter going with her. You shouldn't have bought them into this argument.
Vince took a sudden step forward and you flinched back a step, waiting for the backhand that never came.
Vince had never once laid a hand on you. Even when you were kids and fighting, he never got physical. The two of you got enough hits and bruises from your father, you didn't need to do it to each other. But after what you just said, you thought that he would.
Instead, he glared down at you. His hands clenched together tightly by his sides like he wanted to fight but was holding himself back.
"You are treading on some thin fucking ice, Y/N." Vince warned. "Don't push me."
"Then don't call me a slut and we won't have a problem."
Vince laughed, but it wasn't his usual happy laugh. It was forced and it was mean.
"Then you shouldn't have spread your fucking legs for them!"
"Whoa, that's enough!" Nikki shouted from behind you.
Vince's eyes darted over your shoulder towards the bassist and hardened.
"I told you. I told both of you that my sister was off limits. I fucking told you!"
"We know." Tommy sighed.
"That's all you have to say? You fucked my little sister behind my back and that is all you have to say to me?!"
"What do you want us to say, man?" Nikki asked. "We can't undo what we've done. And you know what? I don't want to undo it. I liked it."
A cloud of warning settled over Vince's features. His jaw tensed visibly, nostrils flaring, and you knew what he was about to do.
You had seen your brother in enough fights over the years to know the signs. From schoolyard fist fights to bar brawls. You knew when Vince was about to start swinging and it was now.
His eyes were zeroed in on one thing, and one thing only: Nikki Sixx.
Vince stepped around you, fury making his boots strike the ground in heavy thumps as he marched up to the bassist. Nikki didn't back away. He stood up straighter, chest expanding, and shoulders pulled back making himself look bigger and fierce.
"Guys, don't." Tommy rushed over knowing as well as you did that this would not end well.
Vince was probably more experienced in fights, but Nikki could hold his own if he had to.
Tommy reached for your brother's shoulder trying to defuse the situation, but Vince shoved the drummer away easily. He stumbled back a few steps crashing into his drum set and knocking over a cymbal with a loud crash.
Nikki was quick to shove Vince back in retaliation for pushing Tommy. Your brothers body staggered back a step not expecting the sudden strength from the bassist before he got his footing and marched right back up to Nikki, his hand forming a fist by his side.
"Enough!" You yelled, slotting yourself between them putting your hands against their chests holding them apart. "Back off. Both of you."
"Let's just talk about this." Mick spoke up from across the room.
"There's nothing to talk about. You guys are fucking dead to me." Vince snarled pointing at Nikki and Tommy before his hard eyes narrowed down at you. "And we're fucking done."
Vince didn't wait for anyone to say anything else before he abruptly turned on his heels and marched towards the door.
"Vince, come on. I'm your sister-"
He glanced over his shoulder and shook his head, "not anymore."
Your hand fell from Nikki's chest. Tears burning in the back of your eyes as you watched your brother leave the studio.
He was gone.
Mötley Crüe was over.
And it was all your fault.
The door slammed shut behind Vince causing you to flinch at the loud bang. You didn't move. You didn't say anything. You just stood there staring at the closed door through blurry tear-filled eyes.
Tommy picked up his cymbal from the floor before taking a hesitant step towards you.
"Y/N..." He began to say but got lost for words.
What could he even say? It was over. It was all over. It was your fault and your brother had disowned you.
"I don't even care anymore." You sighed, wiping the tears from your eyes before slowly walking towards the door. "I’m out."
"Y/N, wait. Don't go." Nikki begged, rushing over and grabbing your arm gently. "Please don't go. Not like this."
You turned and smiled sadly at him through teary eyes.
"Guess you were right all along, Sixx." You thought back to the day he caught you and Tommy in bed all those years ago. "I did end up ruining the band."
You pulled your arm free easily from Nikki's grasp and he didn't try and stop you as you turned and walked out the studio.
Vince's bright sports car sped off down the street in a blur of red paint before skidding around the corner and disappearing out of sight leaving you standing on the sidewalk in the rain.
You thought back to when the two of you were teenagers. Back when Vince had his hopes and dreams set on becoming a rockstar.
-
Your brother had just left with his surfer buddy to catch some waves before dinner leaving you alone in the house doing your homework at the kitchen bench.
Halfway through trying to solve fraction equations the front door of the house slammed open followed by loud heavy footsteps. Your grip tightened around the pencil hating how you could tell your fathers bad mood by the sound of his footsteps alone.
Choosing to ignore him, you continued working on your math homework with your head down while your father marched across the house. He was muttering and swearing to himself as usual, dumping his lunch bag on the dining room table before walking into the kitchen past you and grabbing a bottle of beer from the fridge.
"Where's your fucking brother?"
"I dunno." You shrugged writing down your calculations.
Vince was currently grounded and not allowed to leave the house after school for the next two weeks. There was no way in hell you were about to snitch on him to your father.
"Hey, look at me when I'm talking." Your father ordered.
Your head instantly snapped up at your father's stern tone and silently cursed yourself for showing disrespect like that.
You met your fathers’ dark eyes, his lips pressing together in anger before he shook his head and pointed to Vince's guitar that was laying across the couch. Your fathers leather couch.
Shit.
Vince had forgotten to put it away before he left.
"Where did he get that from?" Your father demanded.
Ah, crap.
Well, technically, Vince stole it.
"I don't know." You lied.
"I'm fucking sick of this music crap and the gay clothes he's starting to wear. No son of mine is wearing that shit in public. I didn't raise a fucking fag!" Your father growled, glaring at the guitar on the couch.
"He's not gay for wearing those clothes." You mumbled softly under your breath but the second the words were out of your mouth, you knew it was a mistake.
Never talk back.
That was his number one rule, never talk back. Your father was huge on respect and responsibility. He had drilled that into you and Vince as kids and you had just broken that rule.
Your father was on you like a rash and before you knew it, you were being hauled from your chair and slammed up against the kitchen cabinet.
His breath smelt like whiskey, having already been down to the local bar after work to drink and spend money the family didn't even have. It was nothing new, but now you understood why his anger was on a shorter leash than usual.
You stood up straight, your back pressed against the wooden door of the cabinet, but despite how strong you were pretending to be, you were scared. Your heart was beating out of your chest, and you could feel your hands starting to tremble by your side.
You were so dead.
"What have we talked about?"
This was a test.
He was giving you a chance to correct yourself. A chance to plead your guilt and apologise, but you were goddamn sick of apologising to him for stuff that didn't warrant it.
You remained silent tilting your head up high maintaining eye contact to show you weren't afraid, but he knew you were. He could always tell. And you were always afraid.
"Speak when spoken to!" He shouted, his face inches from yours causing you to flinch back.
"Vince can wear whatever he wants." You answered, hating the way your voice trembled. "It's not your decision and it doesn't make him gay."
His jaw clenched and you knew exactly what was about to happen.
A split second later, his knuckles collided with your jaw snapping your head to the side, blood filling your mouth.
"You are a slow fucking learner, girl." He hissed, looking down at you before you spat blood at his face.
He was already pissed. Might as well make it worth it.
His fist instantly collided with the side of your face again, the force of the hit slamming the back of your head against the cabinet door behind you. His hand balled into a fist against the collar of your jacket, pressing you harder against the door.
Your stepmother suddenly walked into the house only just getting home from work, but completely froze when she saw the scene in front of her.
You glanced over at her, silently begging her to do something, to say something, to help, but she never did. Your father suddenly grabbed your chin and turned your head back towards him, forcing you to look at him, and only him.
"Go to your room and don't come out until school tomorrow. No dinner either."
Then, he released his hold of you and walked out the kitchen, but you remained leaning against the cabinet for a few minutes breathing heavily and fighting back the tears you could feel rising in your eyes.
Your stepmother stared at you for a moment, sadness washing over her before she walked away without a word.
You peeled yourself off the wooden door and grabbed Vince's guitar from the couch before your father could break it. Dumping the guitar in your brother's bedroom, you made a beeline for his window and slid it open before climbing out and running away from the house and away from your father's wrath.
A few minutes later, you were walking along the soft floury sand of the beach. The sun was shining brightly in the vast never ending blue sky above you and just the scent of salt water and fresh air made you feel better.
Seagulls were squawking above your head as they flew by searching for leftover food while you walked along the shore in the shallows of the sea.
Looking around you noticed that the beach was fairly secluded. There were no normal sights of tourists with day-glow tans, no tacky food stands or chattering children. The beach was completely empty at this time on a weekday. It was beautiful.
The entire stretch of golden beach was bare except for two figures in the distance, surfing along the waves gracefully.
Vince.
You slowly made your way down the beach, sand crunching under your feet with each step until you reached his towel that was laid over the soft sand and you sat down on top of it.
Vince and his surfer buddy were cutting through the waves with ease, soaring along the coast like they had done it a thousand times before, which they had. You and your brother practically lived at the beach. It was your safe haven away from the drama at home.
Closing your eyes, you took in a deep calming breath memorized by the rhythm of the waves breaking on the shore as you savoured the salty air.
When you opened your eyes again, there was only one surfer still out there, but you could hear footsteps in the sand approaching you.
Tilting your head to the side, you spotted Vince walking towards you with his surfboard clamped under his left arm. The second he saw the angry red mark on your cheek his relaxed and happy expression hardened.
He stared at your cheek and gritted his teeth in anger before he dropped his board down onto the sand. He grabbed a can of coke out his friend's cooler nearby and held it out towards you while motioning towards the bruising mark.
"What happened?"
"Nothing." You dismissed grabbing the coke and pressing the cold can to the side of your face with a wince.
"Y/N, what did he do this time?"
You sighed, looking away from your brother hating how you could feel tears beginning to burn in the back of your eyes.
"I'm going to fucking kill him." Vince growled, but you knew he couldn't.
Sure, Vince was getting older and stronger, but your father was an ex-military man turned mechanic. Vince couldn't beat him in a fight, not yet anyway. The still healing blackeye on your brother's face was enough evidence of that.
You weren't going to tell him about the things your father had said. He had made it clear to your brother about his hate towards the music and glam style clothes. Vince didn't need a reminder about that, and you didn't want him to stop wearing that stuff just because of your stupid father.
"One day, I'm getting us out of that fucking house." Vince said, sitting down on the towel beside you. "Away from this shitty neighbourhood. Away from him. Away from all of it. I promise."
"You can't promise that." You whispered, wiping the tears from your eyes.
"I can." He insisted. "Soon, I'll be in a band, and we won't have to see him ever again."
You wanted to believe him. You really did. Vince had the skill to make it as a rockstar, that wasn't up for debate, but the chances of it happening? Pretty slim.
"No matter what happens, we stick together, yeah?" Vince said looking over at you.
You tilted your head towards him and smiled, "you and me against the world, bro."
"You're damn right."
He wrapped his arm around your back and pulled you into his side. The salt water from his long-wet hair mixed in with your tears as you rested your head against his shoulder.
The two of you sat on the beach together with your toes in the cool sand watching the waves crash along the shore while silently dreading the thought of going back home.
-
Now, you stood alone outside the recording studio in the rain, salty tears falling down your cheeks.
Vince had made it as a rockstar. He kept his promise and had gotten you both out of that abusive home, but now he was gone.
No matter what happens, we stick together.
What a bunch of bullshit.
-
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magenta-embers · 7 months
Text
My Jikook Journey
Part 2 of my intro.
From "multi-shipper" to "...wait a goddamn minute."
This will be a messy and detail-lacking overview because I could easily do an individual post on each thing I mention here and delve deeper (AMA!).
When I became an ARMY in 2018, I was excited about the treasure trove of fanfics now available to me. The ship didn't really matter, but my bias was/is Jimin (bias wrecker Tae then) so the very first fic I read was a vmin camping one (there was only one sleeping bag, gasp!). For me, shipping meant I'd read fanfics or save fanart of certain pairs together because in a fictional sense/in another universe, they make a good couple. I think this is a healthy approach, keeping that boundary between reality and fiction.
When I mentioned to my k-pop fan step-sister that I was reading vmin, she gave me a weird look. She said taekook is THE ship of BTS, which confused me because vmin seemed to be closer and have better chemistry than Tae and JK. Turns out, she was right. Searching by most kudos on ao3, you get a shit ton of taekook. I accepted it readily and just thought I must be missing something since I was a baby ARMY, so I read those super popular fics and started to enjoy taekook too. I started to focus more on them because... it felt like that was what I was supposed to do.
It's a common problem, isn't it? Baby ARMY who are open to shipping are quickly found and "guided" to taekook before they have a chance to glance in another direction. If they try, taekookers, who are the majority in the shipping sphere, will convince them that taekook is THE ship. Even if they aren't ARMY (my step-sister), they know that much. As a new fan, you just want to fit in, so you'll go along with what's most popular. Some people eventually find their own way, but many don't. Asking questions is vital, but if you do it aloud, you risk getting attacked by a small but extremely aggressive portion of the most infamous fanbase.
Even back then while just innocently reading any well-written fic I could get my hands on, I noticed that Jungkook was usually portrayed as a lot edgier and darker than he really was (manifested the 2023 JK aesthetic) and Taehyung was constantly portrayed as... Jimin. Especially in fan art. For some reason, a lot of the time, the appearance/vibe/personality of Taehyung was truer to Jimin than to himself, and that confused me. "Why not just make it Jungkook x Jimin?" I kept seeing them trying to force Taehyung into the dynamic that Jimin has with Jungkook when their own dynamic was perfectly fine.
Slipping down the pipeline, I started to watch taekook moments/analysis videos because I thought gotta be missing something, right? That's how I found out people are convinced they're dating, and it wasn't just a fun fic/art thing. The videos themselves were... something. There were just way too many red circles, too much slow-mo, and too much mind-reading going on for me to take any of it seriously. Plus, the moments that weren't exaggerated were just close friend skinship. Hell, Taejin were doing more sus shit together than taekook.
And yet people insist on taekook even when taekook do nothing to insist on themselves.
At this point, it was deep into 2019. Jikook were wilding in 2019. Even I was noticing all the... little things that made me raise an eyebrow. The touches that lingered just too long in rather intimate areas, the fond/awed looks at each other, the shameless flirting, the complete lack of physical boundaries, and the normalness of it all between them. That's telling. Even though I was mainly a taekooker with a shit ton of fanart and fics saved to my phone, if you looked at my liked YouTube videos around that time, I had jikook moments videos saved, not taekook, because their moments were just more fun/juicier to watch overall. They just interacted differently than they did with other members.
A quick example would be a video compilation of taekook holding hands. Sure, they're holding hands, maybe even interlocking fingers, but they're usually standing side by side and looking in different directions or just having a neutral expression. But if you watch a jikook one, not only is it much longer, but it's just different. I feel like I'm interrupting sometimes. Even in such a simple action like holding hands, there's a softness, an intimacy there that doesn't exist in taekook. Jikook wouldn't just be holding hands (usually for absolutely no reason), they'd be looking into each other's eyes, smiling sweetly, fully turned toward each other, attention completely captured by the other. How can I explain the look in their eyes? It just doesn't exist with vmin, yoonmin, jihope, etc.
Sidebar: All of those pairs have flirty/sus moments as most really close friendship dynamics do, but they're lighthearted to me and never invoked a true sense of.... whoa whoa whoa, hang on. If Jungkook and Jimin were my close friends IRL and I saw the way they are together, my alarms would go off. As either, "Oh my god, they're fucking," or "Oh my god, they wanna fuck each other." People always say, "Oh, Jimin's like that with everyone." No. No, he's not. Pay attention. Really pay attention to the differences in the dynamics between members. None of them have the "same" relationship. Especially pay attention to how the rest of the members react to Jikook.
Anyway,
So here I was noticing this... deeper intimacy in simple interactions with those two (because I'm a human being with eyes and life experience), and yet my Twitter timeline would just dismiss them entirely. "I love their friendship," "Wow their brotherhood is so beautiful," and "They're all so close," and normally these statements wouldn't bother me because technically they're true, but I started noticing that taekook or yoonmin would brush shoulders and everyone would be like, "Omg taekook/yoonmin married/boyfriends/real," over nothing. Their moments are cute/sweet/funny, but never more than that. The blatant hypocrisy did frustrate me a little, but ultimately I didn't overthink it; I didn't want to be delulu or look too deeply into anything because I still thought I must be missing something. Taekook is the most popular for a reason, right? Right?
But Taekook died for me when Tae told Taekookers to get out of their imagination. I respected that from him and took it at face value. It was the most aggressive shutdown of shipping we've ever had. I couldn't brush him off. It's disrespectful. He's uncomfortable.
Meanwhile, over the next couple of years, Jungkook and Jimin only got more suspicious in the minor interactions and in the big staple moments. Rosebowl. Hickeygate. Etc. Everyone was bending over backward trying to explain away the things these two did with each other, and it's always the same excuses. I was also trying extremely hard to think of any reason other than the simplest one because I didn't want to be delulu.
Because there was no way two members of a boyband were actually in a long-term relationship together. Especially in a conservative country.
Ridiculous. Unrealistic. Delulu.
I was basically telling myself in a mirror that they were just extra super duper close friends with muddy boundaries that meant sucking ears and giving neck hickeys was okay. I did allow there to be the thought that, maybe they're friends with benefits and that unavoidable intimacy now bleeds through into their regular interactions.
That opinion carried until 2023.
Isn't that funny?
2023.
The year so many jikookers gave up and bemoaned that those two weren't close anymore or had broken up is the year that finally convinced me.
What tipped me over?
Jungkook's vlives.
The way he kept watching videos of Jimin when he could just phone him. It reminded me of me watching Jimin, but I'm just a fan; I watch those videos because it's the only way I can appease my yearning to be close to and connected to Jimin, and absorb everything that he does or says or is.
Jungkook doesn't have that limitation, so why's he sitting there like a lovesick puppy with the fondest/most loving eyes when he could have Jimin over with just a call? Why's he sitting there looking like he's also yearning for something he can't have like us, the fans, when he can have it? He has Jimin's number. You don't need to watch yourself tease Jimin. You can just go do it. Just text him, bro.
It felt like he just wanted to bask in Jimin without interruption, without distraction, without having to force his attention elsewhere. Beyond being incredibly sweet, it also felt like Jungkook was making a statement, a point, because he kept doing it. Why? Is he somehow obsessed with his friend and bandmate whom he's seen almost every day for over a decade? If it was to promote him, he really didn't have to do all that? He didn't do it for the others, not to that extent.
Watching Jimin, talking about Jimin, singing Jimin's songs, fkn playing Letter on guitar. (The naked vlive flirting session? Lord, what.)
The man kept having vlives with a significant Jimin focus. He insisted on it enough times that it felt like he was trying to slap some sense into me. His insistence bothered me enough for me to finally do a deep dive into jikook.
Down the rabbit hole, I went. The more I learned, the more my jaw dropped. Where the fuck was all this info on my timeline when these motherfuckers were celebrating the most basic kpop boy interactions as if they were wedding vows? I even ended up seeing pictures/info we as fans were never meant to see at the bottom of that hole. If you know, you know.
Eventually, I ended up on this video (bless this fucking channel).
youtube
I want everyone to understand that I had zero knowledge of established relationship timeline theories. I went into this video blind, just trying to find the point in time when JK started to warm up to Jimin. That's not what I found. I found something so much better.
Especially 2013-2015 had me in awe. I think I cried. Jimin and Jungkook had a fattest, cutest mutual crush on each other. Absolutely. And because they were young, not that famous, and still rookies with media and camera training, we get a lot of insight into those two that we wouldn't get in later years when they learned how to mask and behave more "idol"-like. Jimin was especially loud, almost sadly loud. If you haven't watched the timeline of at least those early years, I implore you to. It actually blew my mind and broke/healed my heart. It's really bittersweet to see two teenage boys with little to no experience in anything romantic trying to come to terms with themselves while also coming to terms with each other. It's like watching a coming-of-age romance movie.
I saw clear shifts from when the relationship hit turning points in certain years. I proposed a timeline in my head based on that. Imagine my fucking surprise when I found out other people have also come up with timelines, and more surprising yet, they were all unbelievably similar to mine, down to what changed in what half of the year. I, who had no previous knowledge that this was even a thing. I just noticed it all on my own. We were all seeing the same thing. The same changes. No red circles, no slow-mo, no mind reading. It's all in the body language.
I panicked a little because overall it seemed too good to be true, so I reached out to a taekooker friend to send me her best evidence videos and receipts because I just had to make sure I wasn't going totally delulu here. I needed to see that the other biggest ship had interactions and moments on the same level with that same consistency, maybe even their very own relationship timeline to bring me back down to Earth. But... there's nothing. Really, there's nothing between taekook. Not one moment where I was like, oh? You'll find hours-long jikook content videos that are absolutely jam-packed with content, significant content, but that sort of depth just doesn't exist for taekook. Instead, you get conspiracy theories.
I watched most of the videos on that best of jikook channel and several other staple channels. It wasn't as if I bought into everything presented. I still rolled my eyes at many things that were blown out of proportion by some creators, and jikook isn't free from red circles and slow-mo and bullshit. And yet, I was still overwhelmed by the mountain of crisp receipts dumped on my head.
Jikook have much, much more solid evidence supporting the theory that they are together than evidence against it. I took the facts as they are, took my social experiences for what they are, took my psychology background for what it is, and concluded that they are most likely together, probability-wise. At the very least, they are the ONLY pair in BTS that have ANY legitimate possibility of being romantically involved. If jikook isn't real, then none of the other ships have any hope whatsoever, let's not kid ourselves. It's them or none of them.
They also have much, much more evidence that they are together than with any random man or woman you wanna throw at them. There needs to be valuable evidence or a total shutdown for me to tip the scale. I'm going to need Jimin or Jungkook to state, "I am not dating anyone at all," or "Get out of your imagination," or a bighit relationship announcement, or a clear video of lip-on-lip action or very intimate interaction with someone else.
Frankly, I don't give a single fuck about a grainy pic/video when it's 2023 and there's no excuse for that. I don't give a fuck who owns the same vase or cooking pots. I don't give a fuck if either of them hugged a woman. These are not evidence. These aren't even as good as the worst Jikook evidence.
At this point in time, Jikook is still the only viable option with the information we currently have available to us. This is my opinion and I stand by it.
At the end of the day, the thing I want most is for Jimin to be happy. Currently, it seems that Jungkook makes Jimin the happiest (as Jungkook says). As long as that holds true, I'll be here. If that changes at some point in time, I'd accept it.
But until that day comes, what the fuck else am I supposed to think?
E.
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