#but anyway like. will you be afraid as i transform into wild beasts will you let go in fright or will you stay true to your oath? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

asterian · 3 years

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Moon beast (Captain Rex x reader) (Werewolf au)

Summary: Rex got bitten by a strange creature during a mission, leaving him wounded and unexpectedly transforming him into a beast.

Words: 2.3k

A/n: Hi, this was a request but Tumblr has been messing with my post and deleted some asks. Well, anyways, this was really fun to write and I hope you like it as much as I do. As always thanks for reading.

It was almost midnight when it all started.

The boys had returned from the battlefield a couple of hours ago, defeated and wounded.

The mission to liberate the planet from separatist occupation turned out to be a trap, leaving as its consequences the loss of at least half a battalion of troopers and a whole squadron of starfighters.

Rex was among the wounded, bitten by some sort of beast. And now, as he rested in the medbay, he felt … strange.

Something was off.

He could feel it in his bones, he could feel them moving, growing. He felt how every inch of his body burned hotter than mustafar lava. This was no good. He felt dizzy and soon allusions started to fill his mind giving him glims of images of the woods, the moon and a beast with sharp teeth and killer eyes.

Rex shook his head in a desperate attempt to get rid of the images that haunted his mind, grabbing the sheets trying to hold all the pain he was feeling and regain some of the control of his body but instead felt his own nails digging on the flesh of his palms. The world around him started to get blurry and all Rex could feel was pain, it was like something was destroying him from within.

A new and more powerful wave of pain ran through his body, enough to make him finally lose all the control as a scream left his throat. Then everything turned black.

At the other side of the ship, you were working on a very damaged y-wing, doing your best to repair the poor piece of metal that used to fly, but your mind was in another place, you were worried about Rex. He was wounded and alone in the infirmary, exhausted after the mission. You wished you could be there with him.

Suddenly the sirens of the hangar went on, getting you out of your thoughts.

Everyone on the hangar started to question if the ship was under attack since no one gave the "Battle stations" order, then the voice of Admiral Yularen came through the speakers:

"Attention to all stations. There has been a security break at the medical bay, the intruder is armed and dangerous. If you spot it, shoot to kill! I repeat, there has been a security break…."

"Rex" was all you could say before rushing to the medbay.

Your head was plagued with horrible scenarios about what could have happened as you ran through the maze that was the Resolute. Wishing nothing had happened to him, hoping he was safe.

When you arrived at the medbay you were greeted by destruction. Everything was broken and there were sharp claws marked on the walls. What kind of thing could leave such marks? Well it certainly wasn't a battle droid.

You desperately searched for any remaining troopers in hopes to find your beloved Captain, without luck.

You were about to keep looking for Rex when the lights went off.

The darkness only lasted a few seconds before the emergency lights came in, followed by the sound of blaster fire and clones screaming, not far from where you were.

Something was killing the soldiers, something dangerous, something wild.

Fear spread through your body and unconsciously ran in the opposite direction, turning in every corner that came your way, trying to put as much distance as possible between you and whoever was on board. But it was useless.

The monster was chasing after you, just like a hunter after its prey.

Your feet tripped over something, making you hit the hard durasteel of the floor. As you tried to get up you heard steps approaching along with a growl that send panic to your whole self. Gathering all your courage, you turned around as slowly as you could and then you saw it.

Big sharp teeth sticking out of its mouth, if that could be called a mouth; claws as sharp as a vibroblade that matched with the marks you saw on the medbay; the monster was covered from head to toe in a soft white fur and had bright golden eyes that seemed threatening yet familiar. At first glance it looked like a loth-wolf but then it stood on two legs, like a human would. It was as tall as a Wookie, maybe a bit taller but twice as menacing.

You were frozen in your place, incapable of moving and afraid to do so.

The beats took a couple of steps towards you, hunger and murder on its eyes. "This is it" you thought.

But then when it was mere inches from you it stopped, looking at you instead with kindness and compassion almost in a tender way.

The killer eyes you saw seconds ago were replaced with a pair of loving ones.

Something was in front of you, it was a beast, a monster, yet in his eyes all you could see was a human, a lover.

Rex.

Your eyes widened open at the realization. It was him, but how? Your hand unconsciously reached to touch his face but before your hand could get close to him a blaster shot came out of nowhere almost hitting Rex's shoulder, causing him to let out a roar that sent shivers down your spine.

"No!" You screamed. "Wait!"

Soon more troopers came storming the hallway, blasting your lover who desperately ran away.

You tried to go after him but were stopped by an arm around your waist.

"Hey, easy there, (y/n)." you heard Jesse say as you struggled to get out of his grasp.

"Let me go!"

"That thing is dangerous" he said pointing in the direction Rex was seconds ago.

"He's not!" you barked at him, "Jesse, please, let me go!" you cried out.

"The kriff is wrong with you?"

"You don't understand." you told him finally break free, "It's Rex"

Jesse looked at you confused and surprised for a moment, not really knowing how to process the information you gave him.

"What?" He asked.

"It's Rex, Jesse, I know it"

"No. That's impossible, it can't be him."

"You have to trust me." You begged

"How…" he was interrupted by another trooper that came running from the hall.

"Sir, we just received a report from the other sectors, there are no signs of the animal" informed the trooper.

Jesse's gaze traveled from the trooper to you.

"Go to an escape pod" he told you."And leave as soon as possible."

"But-"

"Go!" he ordered you before turning back to his brothers, ready to command. "Alright, that thing is somewhere in the ship, there are a lot of places where it could be hiding" he told them "our priority is find it and execute it before it kills someone else."

You paralyzed in your place. They were going to kill Rex, his own brother and they didn't even know it was him. The idea of losing him made you realize you had to find him before they did.

A thousand questions started running through your head, questions such as Where in the world could he be? Where he could be hiding? Where to start looking?

The answer was clear as kyber crystal.

The place where you and your beloved Captain found each day, a place without cameras, away from curious eyes, a place where you could share your love without worrying about being caught.

"He must be there." you thought and hurried to that place that saw your love bloom.

When you arrived you found him curled into a ball, leaning against the wall, protected by the shadows. He seemed conflicted, as if he was battling with himself and the wolf, fighting over control.

It was heartbreaking seeing him like this but it was a relief knowing he was fine.

"Rex?"

He looked at you, growling a bit and baring his teeth, a warning to stay away.

"It's okay" you said softly "I'm not gonna hurt you" you raised your hands to prove you were unarmed "See? It's me, (y/n)."

He seemed to recognize you, and slowly, Rex started to calm down a bit.

You took one, maybe two steps towards him. He backed off.

"It's fine, you can come out now" you encouraged him, extending a hand for him to take. Nothing.

The more you tried to touch him or get near him, the more he retreated.

"Love, please, I need to get you out of here before someone else find you"

Rex shook his head in response, getting further away from you. Was he afraid of you?

He had killed his own brothers, murdered them without hesitation. Even though he was unconscious most of the time, he knew what he was doing, he knew what this new form could do and how dangerous it was.

Rex wasn't afraid of you, oh no, he was afraid of himself, of the monster he became.

"It's okay, you are not going to hurt me" you told him as if you knew what was going on in his head. "I trust you"

The captain looked at you for a moment, and then he let you get closer to him.

Your hand carefully traveled all along his arm, feeling the soft texture of his fur, all the way to his large new face. Recognising and memorizing every detail of this new version of him, it felt familiar. His hazel eyes focused on you until they started to slowly close as he began to relax under your touch.

You kept gently stroking his head, the beating of your hearts softly echoing on the room. And for a moment the world outside seemed to fade away, the chaos of the Resolute, the clones screaming and running around, all of that disappeared. It was just you and him, human or wolf, you loved him.

You looked at him for a moment before pulling him into a tight hug. His fur trickling on your face made you smile but then you felt yourself melting under his warmth, closing your eyes and enjoying the moment.

"I love you, Rex" you mumbled against his chest, "I love you with all my soul and I want to be with you in this form or any other, it doesn't matter." you assured him, feeling the way his heart beated against yours. "I'll love you just the same, I promise"

The captain felt his heart full of love and hope. He was worried that you might have been scared of him, or that you might never want to see him because, who could love a monster like him? Now that he was one. Just the fact that you were there with him made him feel loved and for that he couldn't be more thankful, but he also couldn't help but wonder, what did he do to deserve someone as caring and loving as you.

The fears and insecurities left his body and were replaced with peace, love. And as those negative thoughts left he felt the beast leaving too. He felt his body slowly changing, not painfully as the other time but more natural. Human again.

"I love you, cyare"

His voice took you by surprise.

You were so immersed in your thoughts and his warmth that you didn't notice that he had changed, shifted back to his normal form.

"Rex." you breathed, looking at him, tears starting to form in your eyes as you placed a hand on his cheek.

"Hello, love." he said simply, earning a little giggle from you. He pulled you close and rested his forehead on yours, and finally you felt the tears rolling down your face.

He looked exhausted and sick, like he could faint in any second.

Your beloved Captain began to shiver with the absence of the fur that a few minutes ago covered his body, leaving him now naked and exposed to the coldness of the ship. You noticed the fresh little scratches and bruises that decorated his tanned skin. You couldn't even imagine what kind of hell he went through.

You stayed like this a few minutes, before he spoke again, blame and sorrow dancing on his tone.

"It was my fault" His voice cracked. "I knew what I was doing while I was that beast, I just couldn't stop. And now my brothers are gone." His gaze traveled to the floor and you saw a tear rolling down his cheek. "I could have hurt you too."

"(Y/n), how many brothers did I-"

"No, Rex, don't do that" you stopped him, "it wasn't your fault"

"Rex-" you murmured, placing a hand on the side of his face.

"I would never forget myself if anything happens to you because of me." He told you, his hazel eyes looking right into yours.

"Hey, it's okay" you assured him, "I know you would never hurt me, don't worry about that"

"But what if that thing comes back? What if I can't control it? What if I'm not able to snap out of it again?"

"Hey, hey, easy" you said "Look, I don't have the answers for that, I have no idea what caused this or how to get rid of it, I don't even know what to do." It was true, you had more questions than real answers yet you wanted to be there for him no matter what.

"We'll figure a way to control this, okay?" You murmured gently stroking his face, meaning every single word. "Whatever this is, we're going to face it, together."

#asterian #captain rex x reader #captain rex x you #captain rex x y/n #werewolf rex #wererex #werewolf au #werewolf rex x reader #gender neutral reader #star wars #star wars imagine #the clone wars #the clone wars imagine #captain rex #clone wars #ct 7567

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sepublic · 3 years

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Eda the Beast

Well, a horrible thought just came into my head- But imagine Eda transforming into an Owl Beast the first few times, the first few years into her curse. And in addition to all of the horrible stuff she must’ve gone through… Imagine her turning into an Owl Beast and getting out into public; Being mistaken for just a regular beast, and having Animal Control called on her! Imagine Animal Control abusing and mistreating Eda not as an actual person but as a creature, throwing her into a cage, locking her up… Imagine Eda reverting back inside a cage, scared and traumatized... Terrified by the other animals, especially if she’s put into the same room as some! And then they get harsh towards her, and Eda retains injuries from her time as an Owl Beast, having no idea what happened or what’s going on with her…

Imagine Eda having to deal with almost being put down, or captured and sold to some zoo, or Lilith having to rescue her! Imagine Eda recognizing her situation, dimly, and desperately trying to convey that she is a PERSON, not a pet, not a wild animal to be euthanized or experimented on… Imagine some bullies at school, snidely telling Eda that her sleeves should be orange like her hair; Because an animal like her would surely recognize other creatures and be a wonderful Beastkeeper! And any time she does well with beastkeeping magic, this kind of snide remark of, “Of COURSE the Monster Girl knows beasts well!” is made, discouraging Eda and making her feel self-conscious about her skill there, until she just straight-up forgoes beastkeeping magic, with it ruined for her… And don’t consider bullies sneering and suggesting that Eda could be ‘tamed’ with beastkeeping magic, as the animal she really is! Maybe a few bullies from the beastkeeping track try to pull a cruel prank- And of course Eda still wrecks them, but still.

It’d be so humiliating, dehumanizing, and really reinforce Eda’s insistence on being free and not beholden to anyone, least of all Belos…! Maybe it’d give new background to Eda being King’s friend, because she actually sort of gets and understands that feeling of being treated like a mindless animal to own or do away with, and not as a legitimate person. King wouldn’t know how Eda understands, he wasn’t aware of the curse until rather recently- So then it just leads to him wondering why this random Owl Lady is so considerate, what could she POSSIBLY know about his situation?! Perhaps Eda ends up feeling sympathy for some animals and creatures who are abused, because like it or not, they were right to an extent- Being cursed DID give her some perspective on what it’s like for beasts, and grant some very involuntary and dehumanizing solidarity with them.

Maybe people compare Eda to the Greater Basilisk or whatever, as a monster pretending to be a witch, rather than a witch who sometimes turns into an Owl Beast… And how Eda might get mistreated; The apprehension and distrust towards Demon Hunters, of being killed and maybe even chopped up and eaten by them… Objectified and treated like some exotic piece of meat, or some rare pet to own?! The idea makes me sick. Especially since we’ve seen basically what I’ve described almost happen in Escape of the Palisman… And then King taking advantage of Eda’s cursed state in that episode could’ve come across as a real betrayal to her. But on the other hand, King still tried to treat her with some respect, and you can argue that he tends to command and boss around actual people too, so the treatment may not be all that different; Still, it was NOT a good thing, but at least King apologized and legit changed his behavior.

I can see a lot of people who captured Eda realizing their mistake, but then blaming Eda for ‘tricking’ them or whatever! That kind of victim-blaming and gaslighting would really force Eda to affirm her self-confidence, while recognizing her dignity and where she’s been unjustly insulted and hurt, and to step up for herself- Especially after her and Lilith grew more distant, she really had to learn to handle the curse on her own, and probably with Hooty and Owlbert’s help. Thankfully, I can see Hooty being VERY adept at handling Owl Beast Eda… Then again, she DOES attack and disable him in The Intruder; So maybe not.

Maybe he was just caught by surprise, maybe Owl Beast Eda still attacked Hooty, because he’s just THAT aggravating, y’know? Maybe his voice is really irritating to OBE, so while he has the force to handle Eda, he doesn’t have enough of that sisterly, soothing reassurance that Lilith did. Also, Hooty may have been made a while into Eda’s curse, when she’d already figured out how to handle it with elixirs and not transform as often, whereas Lilith would’ve been alongside her for most of the trial-and-error. Regardless, Hooty is recognized, but he hasn’t done much to earn Owl Beast Eda’s love and affection, either…

Still- Let’s not imagine Owl Beast Eda having to go through the dehumanizing fear of being hunted at night, shall we? Let’s not think of some crowd or vigilantes trying to track down Owl Beast Eda into the woods, or worse- Some people try to lynch her! Of course Eda as a witch could protect herself and even kill in self-defense, but as an Owl Beast, not so much… A lot of bias and prejudice could lead to people doubting if Eda was acting in self-defense, or if she was just giving in to her ‘primal urges’ as a violent, savage beast. Don’t imagine Eda having to be REALLY mindful of how she acts or fights, until eventually she goes screw it, I’m rightfully defending myself and I’m a recluse criminal anyway… And really, I can see this kind of prejudice contributing to her being a recluse, alas. Possibly to get away from the torment, and also to protect herself- And maybe OTHERS, in Eda’s mind…

And it just leads to this idea in her head of separating from others to protect them, which culminates in the Season Finale when Eda tells Luz to abandon her to her petrification- Until Luz very much teaches Eda that she helps and heals and doesn’t hurt, by fighting on, while Lilith’s change of heart no doubt means a lot to Eda and impacts her- As does the crowd’s protest for her freedom. I imagine some people in the crowd recognized that there was a divide between Eda and her Owl Beast form- Or at the very least, this wasn’t something she could control and not something she should be killed for, especially if she can handle it with elixirs. A lot of people likely recognized that Owl Beast Eda’s threat to them was being greatly exaggerated, both by local rumors and the Emperor’s Coven. And that teaches Eda that people aren’t scared of her- Or at least, not enough to let her be executed, which means a lot because it shows that others also recognize the worth and rights of others, even if they don’t like that person.

Did Eda feel self-conscious, about people being afraid of her? And how she handled this in trying to sell things to people; How they eventually realized over the years that despite being a criminal, she hadn’t really hurt anyone who didn’t have it coming? Amidst enjoyment of her wares, Morton appreciating her business… Still, after that brief scene in Grom, I can see some kids regarding Eda with fear as the accursed Owl Beast, and it ends up REALLY getting to her, because the opinions of children tend to feel way more substantial than that of adults. Maybe Eda was a little hurt on the inside when Luz ran away from her in fear, because Eda didn’t immediately recognize that Luz was just a human and everyone in the Boiling Isles is scary to her- So it means a lot when Luz calms down and recognizes Eda as not a monster…

And even when Eda DOES turn into a monster, Luz still acts to incapacitate Eda, not kill or escape her; And Luz doesn’t even bat an eye at Eda when she wakes up. Obviously she was also focused on her first spell, but still! Her medical encouragement and tips towards Eda show that this is something that Luz has normalized, thanks to her open mind and influence from Camila; So it no doubt helps Eda REALLY feel like a person, and feel like normal in the proper way… Not in that conforming manner, but in the “Yes you deserve to live you are not an abomination nor a freak, you are VALID” manner. I’m just imagining Eda having once worried about looking scary to people, questioning her own appearance… And that leads to her learning to REALLY appreciate how she looks, and love her body, reclaim it on her own terms and not let others define it for Eda!

Maybe she had a phase where she tried to look more approachable, or changed herself up so people wouldn’t recognize her as the Owl Beast, before Eda just went screw it and fully embraced the Owl Lady aesthetic! Eda wouldn’t let anyone ruin anything for her, so after a period of avoiding beastkeeping magic, for fear that she’s validating and proving the insults that others say- As the feral Owl Lady, she embraces those kinds of spells as well! And I can see her even playing into that fear and apprehension by others, turning it against them- With Eda seeing a bully make a cruel remark about her being an animal or an infectious werewolf, before she bares her teeth and suggests that she really IS; Scaring off her bullies as Eda plays her own messed-up pranks that relate to her status as the Owl Lady.

#the owl house #owl house #the owl house eda #edalyn clawthorne #the owl house king #the owl house luz #luz noceda #angst #meta

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degenerate-perturbation · 3 years

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Chapters: 25/38 Fandom: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening, Dragon Age II Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Female Amell/Female Surana Characters: Female Amell, Female Surana, Anders, Velanna, Nathaniel Howe, Oghren (Dragon Age), Justice (Dragon Age), Sigrun (Dragon Age), Varric Tethras, Isabela (Dragon Age), Male Hawke (Dragon Age), Pride Demon(s) (Dragon Age) Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Self-Harm, Blood Magic, Prostitution, Drowning, Wilderness Survival, Mind Control, Human Experimentation, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better Series: Part 2 of void and light, blood and spirit Summary: Amell and Surana are out of the Circle, and are now free to build a life together. But when the prison doors fly open, what do you have in common with the one shackled next to you, save for the chains that bound you both?

Pollard’s blood lasted her only a handful of weeks. One vial she wasted, and for that she spent hours cursing her own foolishness, but successfully distilled second. Pure Blight pulsed black and ugly in the vial, viscous, oozing and alive, more than she had ever managed to get before; it was dreadfully difficult stuff to work with; corrosive, unstable, liable to eat through any vessel she kept it in. She had a thimblefull of taint now, and one vial of Pollard’s blood left over.

There had to be something. Veritas had said the secret was in the blood, and that made perfect sense. The blood of a man dying of the Taint, there had to be something.

But experiment after experiment revealed that the Blight in Pollard’s blood was no different from her own. She tried every test she’d spent all this time devising, distilling, refining, transforming, trying to find a single meaningful difference between the Taint in her blood and the Taint in the blood of a dying man. And there was nothing.

She had only the one vial left. Who knew when the next Warden would begin to hear the song? She should have taken more—curse her, she should have been more careful.

Normally she would have asked Avernus what he thought. He had ages more experience in experiments with Grey Warden blood. He might have even known all this already. If she could swallow her pride

But the thought of crawling back to him for help with something he probably had solved centuries ago made her physically recoil.

Avernus didn’t think it was even possible to cure the Taint, but what did he know? He didn’t care about curing it. He only cared about the power in the Blight, how to use it to make new spells, learn more about magic. She was not like him. She was better. She could figure this out.

The longer she tried, the more her thoughts heaved with spurts of anger and pride and fear, wild despair-shot terror that whispered, you are wrong, you are not good enough.

She redrew the summoning circle. What choice did she have?

Only when she was halfway through the ritual did she remember to cast spells of concealment.

Veritas did not seem surprised to find itself back.“So soon, Loriel Surana? Again with the invisibility. Don’t you think it is a little paranoid?”

“Why doesn’t it work?” she demanded. “You said it was in the blood.”

“Of course the secret is in the blood,” said the demon. “I do not lie.”

“Then why is a dying man’s blood just the same as mine?

“The Taint does not change a man’s blood only, Loriel Surana. The taint is in your skin and hair and heart, it is in every part of you, not just your blood. What made you think you could understand the whole of something from its smallest part?”

“You said—”

“Nothing that was false.”

She scowled. “I should have known better than to trust a demon. You lie without lying, all your kind does—”

Veritas seemed to grow then, filling up the room with its bulk. Its thousands of eyes stared unblinking right at her, its golden mask a terrible rictus. “ Do not dare insult me, mageling! I am Veritas, he who knows ten thousand truths! Not one falsehood has ever passed my lips! Call me a liar again and I will eat your heart.”

Loriel was gratified to know that she was still invisible, and Veritas did not see her flinch. “You might will it, Veritas, but it shall not happen. I have you bound so tight that if I willed it, I could leave you here and never come back. I would bind you to this circle, to this mortal plane, and you would not see your home, nor anything besides this darkness, until you forgot your very name, until you were Veritas no more. Am I lying? Tell me true.”

Veritas was silent.

“That,” said Loriel, “is what I thought.”

“You are a bold little thing,” the demon said disdainfully, “to threaten me so, when you need my help.”

“I do not need your help," she sniffed. "There are other demons like you. I could summon any of them just as well.”

“And yet you haven’t. Why is that, I wonder? If old incorrigible Veritas displeases you, why summon him? You want my cooperation, mageling, don’t deny it.”

“Fine. I won’t. I do want your help. What do you want in exchange?”

“Only this, Loriel Surana. Reveal yourself. Show me your true face, use your true voice. Let there be no unseemly secrets between the two of us.”

She had to laugh. “And what will you give me in return?”

“My goodwill, of course.”

Veritas did not lie. But it had to be a trick. What else could it be? A demon would not offer a deal unless it had the upper hand. The wise thing to do would be to dismiss it, find another spirit to deal with, one less dangerous, one with not quite so many staring eyes…

But...If she was going to show herself, she may as well do it to a creature that might understand her. She released the spells of concealment, and was beheld.

Every one of Veritas’s thousands of eyes focused right on her, boring into her skin, scraping every inch of her. “My, you’re even smaller than I was imagining.”

“Do you even know how to cure the Taint?” Her voice sounded preposterously small without the spell of echoing misdirection layered on top of it.

“No,” the demon said easily. “But I am very curious as to how you will manage it. I’m even willing to help.”

Of course. Of course of course of—“As though you’ve been any help.”

Veritas sat back lazily on its haunches. “You don’t even need my help, not at this juncture. You said so yourself. You know exactly what you need to do.”

“Do I." The words dropped like stones from her mouth.

“Of course you do, Loriel Surana! You must use human subjects! Or elven, or dwarven, or whichever—you mortals are not all that different. I told you as much when last we spoke.”

“I did use human—”

“Do not be coy. Blood alone will not do it. You discovered as much yourself. You know what must be done, but still you hesitate. Why, I wonder?”

She did not answer.

“I will tell you this for free, because you already know it." Veritas turned in a circle and settled itself on its pause, like an enormous cat. "You hesitate because you wish to think of yourself as good, or at least, not evil. You prefer so strongly to believe that you are not like others of your kind that you would fail your stated goal on purpose. For as long as you stay bound to it, doing your reasonably convincing best, though you perform for no one but yourself, you do not have to move or think or be.”

She stood white-faced and silent, for every word rang true.

“Now if what you truly wanted was what you claim to want,” Veritas went on, “you would not hesitate to do what you already know you must. You would accept the price of thinking yourself evil, and pursue that which brings you closer to your goal, and that alone. But this is not what you want above all things, so you make only tepid and halfhearted efforts to achieve it.”

“You sound like Avernus,” she scoffed.

The demon’s golden eyes flared, and now it knew another name important to her. Was she truly so mad in her aloneness that she would give away her secrets to a demon, just to have someone to give them to?

Yes, she realized. Yes, she was.

tck

Brigit concluded her report. No new deaths. No Callings. No sign of the Architect.

“Thank you, Seneschal.” That will be all, but somehow those words did not get spoken, and until she spoke them Brigit would not move. She stood ramrod straight, at attention, the ideal servant.

“Seneschal. Why did you decide to come here?”

“To serve the Grey Wardens,” she answered at once. “To help. In my own small way.”

"And yet you do not join us?"

Brigit shook her head. "No, ser. I am no warrior. I can bear neither sword nor bow, but I hope to be of use in other ways."

"But why?" Loriel fixed her deep black gaze on hers. Brigit’s eyes were light, and they could be green or blue or brown depending on the light. Here and now, they looked slate grey, and did not waver one bit.

"I don't understand. What reason would I need to wish to serve? Why does anybody wish to serve?"

No. No, that rang false. "Please, Brigit. Let there be no secrets between us."

Finally Brigit dropped her gaze and said in a small and quiet voice: “I was at Denerim. During the battle. We had evacuated from the south, but the Blight had come for us anyway. I remember the storm...the only light came from the lightning. I saw the beast there, with my own eyes. I had never been so afraid in my life. I had always believed in the Maker, believed that he loved us, though we his children had gone astray...but when I saw that thing, I was not sure. What father would set such a thing on his children? I don't know why it affected me so deeply.

"And I saw it die. I saw you slay it." You. Brigit said it like a prayer. "Ser, I am no scholar, but I know my history. I know that no Grey Warden has ever survived such a feat. I had never believed in miracles, until that day."

Am I all you hoped for? Loriel wanted to ask. But it only would have hurt her, and hurting her would have been the point. And if the answer had been yes, that would be too terribly to contemplate.

"I survived the assault, and returned to my life, but I never forgot. I wanted my life to mean something, but I was a coward. I cannot fight. I fear pain and death. I would be a useless Grey Warden... but I know sums, notations, and I write well. It is the Maker’s blessing that my mean skills are now of use.”

Loriel nodded slowly. “I see. Thank you.” Then she added, almost as an afterthought, “You know how much I value you, Brigit.”

The full light of the sun shined out from the smile that split Brigit's face. “Thank you, Commander. I ask for nothing else.”

“You understand what a rare thing it is, to have my trust.”

“I do.”

“Do you trust me as I trust you?”

“Of course, Commander—of course, of course.”

“Good. That’s good.” She hesitated only a moment longer. “Tell me, Brigit, when you hand down judgments in my name—for what do you condemn men to die?”

“Rape,” Brigit said at once. “Treason. Murder. Fire-setting. Poaching. Assault of a Chantry mother.”

“Are these the laws of the land, or my laws?”

“Both, Commander. It is difficult to defy tradition and keep the support of the Bannorn, but the Arlessa has some discretion.”

“Are there many such capital crimes?”

“Not many. But always some.”

“How many?”

“Four condemned men are in the dungeons now.”

“Only four?”

“Most who break your laws or the king’s are punished swiftly within the city of Amaranthine, or by a local sheriff. Only those cases of unusual difficulty are ever brought before the Arlessa. Usually when the perpetrator is a person of note, who cannot be punished without producing political difficulties. I try to resolve such things quickly, in your name, but they often take some time. Justice, if it ever comes, comes slow.”

Loriel noted the shadow that flicked across her face.

“And these men’s crimes?”

Brigit told her. Loriel listened, and when she finished, stood and said: “Take me to the dungeons, please.”

tck

Brigit led her down the long and winding way to the dungeons. She went to take a torch from a sconce, but Loriel waved her away and cast a wisplight. Gamely, Brigit did not fluster.

There were guards at the door, junior Wardens serving a boring patrol, and they snapped to attention when they saw Brigit arrive. Their eyes widened with astonishment at the sight of Loriel. No wonder—these recruits looked fresh enough that they likely had never seen her before. Only heard the stories.

She bid them to leave. They hesitated, uncertain, weakly protesting that the prisoners could be dangerous, until Brigit repeated the order, and they scurried. That annoyed her—but she supposed this was a situation of her own making.

She remembered coming here on her very first full day as the Warden-Commander, called on to deal with a petty burglar. Funny how it had all turned out. She didn’t know where Nathaniel was now. She didn’t even remember him leaving.

Most of the cells were still empty. Brigit ran a tight ship. But many were full.

“This is more than four.”

“Yes, ser. Most are not condemned to die. Many are kept here until their family can pay the geld.”

“And if they cannot pay it?”

“They will be punished, and released.”

Loriel looked at the imprisoned men. They did not look dangerous. They looked tired and afraid and miserable. Her people, and she their warden.

“Which of these is the murderer?”

“The third cell on the right, ser.”

The murderer’s name was Geron, and he had murdered his own daughter. The girl had been seven years old, and Geron had smashed her head in with a cast iron pot. His wife had fled their house in terror, and when no one in the village would help her, had journeyed all the way to Vigil’s Keep to receive the Arlessa’s justice. The Arlessa’s men had found Henrick hiding in the attic of the inn, and dragged him to the dungeons to await judgement. Brigit had rendered it—death by hanging, for the crime of murder.

It had been an unusual decision, considering the extenuating circumstances. Geron had only done it because the little girl had been a mage. He’d caught her making mud-creatures with her mind, realized what she was, and killed her on the spot.

Loriel gazed blankly at him for a long time before speaking. “Why did you do it?”

The murderer raised his head. His eyes were streaming. “Please, ser.”

“Why did you do it?” she repeated.

He could hardly speak. He mouthed something that did not seem like an answer to her question.

“Tell me, please,” Loriel said quietly. “Were you afraid of her? Did you think it better for her to die? Did you hate her?”

This is what my people think of me, she thought. An insect. They would crush me in their disgust, were I small enough. But then, had he not killed his girl, she would have been taken to the Circle. Perhaps he had done her a favor.

She pressed her finger-ring into her palm. “Tell me.”

“I panicked,” the man babbled. She'd hardly had to compel him at all. “I didn’t mean to. Maker, forgive me, I’d do anything to take it back, forgive me!”

No, thought Loriel, I do not think I will.

“Then I offer you a choice.” She spoke quietly, but every ear in the room still strained to hear her. “You may take your death by hanging, or you may take the Joining. A life of service awaits you if you survive. The choice is yours.”

“Yes,” the man said hoarsely. “Yes, I will take the Joining. Thank you, Maker, thank you.”

She stepped back from the child-murderer’s cell.

“And the rest of you?” she inquired. “The same choice lies before you. Death, or the Joining?”

One by one, each condemned man volunteered.

Loriel turned to Brigit, who had gone pale and ghostly in the dim light of the dungeon. “Make the arrangements, Seneschal.”

tck

Brigit remained pale and silent as they left the dungeons. Loriel noted it, but waited to return to the safety of her office to press. “Is something the matter, Seneschal?”

“Nothing, ser,” Brigit said quickly.

Loriel waited expectantly, and thought Brigit would keep whatever it was to herself, when:

“It is only that…” She struggled, then burst out: “Are you certain this is wise, Commander? Vigil’s Keep does not lack for recruits. Why offer this honor to these men who have broken the laws of your land?”

“Everyone deserves a second chance. The Grey Wardens have always recognized that.”

“I—yes, of course, but,” it took her visible effort to continue, “but it is not about what one deserves . If a man is to be made a Grey Warden, I would have to find somewhere to place him. If he might pose a threat to his fellow Wardens, if we could not trust him—”

“Do you have such concerns about any man in particular?”

Brigit set her jaw and nodded. “Yes. Calder. There are details of his crimes that you may not fully appreciate. He is a relative of Bann Helven, and the situation with the Bann is complicated. Condemning his cousin for a crime that in other Arlings is not punishable by death at all was difficult. The Bann does not feel Calder’s crimes warrant death, and I may have to bend to his wishes.” The venom in her voice was enough to take Loriel aback. “To have him as a Grey Warden will only complicate things further.”

“To be a Grey Warden is an honor," Loriel said mildly. "Surely the Bann can see that.”

Brigit pressed her lips together. “It is not only that. Calder, he’s...He would have to be kept away from women and children. The girls he—they were young. He...a man such as that would be a liability for the Wardens, not an asset.”

Oh. Calder was the rapist. Loriel took in Brigit’s tight lips, her white face, and put it all together.

Suddenly she felt she understood Veritas. She let her voice soften. “Then of course I will take that into account.”

“Commander, I…”

Loriel extended a comforting hand, placed it lightly on her forearm. Brigit’s breath stopped in her lungs.

“Seneschal,” Loriel said, in her best pass at soft and gentle. “I understand completely. We are both women, after all.”

The effect on her was immediate. Loriel didn’t even need to say the lie, or even imply it. Brigit did it all herself. The Seneschal, usually a cipher of utter professionalism, cracked into pieces of gratitude and pity and devotion. And there it was. She had her.

“There is no need for you to attend this Joining. I will handle it.”

She tried to hide it, but her shoulders still sagged in relief, just as they tightened again with guilt. “Are you absolutely certain, Commander?”

“Of course. Make whatever preparations are necessary. I will take care of things from there.”

“Yes, ser.”

“Do you believe me, when I say that all I do, I do to fight the Blight?” she said softly.

“I believe you.” She said it at once, with such fervor. Loriel had no doubt she meant it.

“Do you trust me, Seneschal?”

“Yes,” Brigit all-but-whispered.

“Then let us speak no more of this.”

tck

Brigit wasted no time. She had everything arranged by the following evening. She apologized profusely that it could not be earlier, offered again and again to be present, obviously relieved each time Loriel declined.

For her part, Loriel made token attempts to make progress on the work while she waited, but by the second day, gave up. She sat in her Underkeep and thought incessantly of the child-murderer. It did not seem real, what she intended to do. Let alone how much she wanted to do it.

The hour approached at once intolerably slowly, and terrifyingly fast.

Guards brought the prisoners to the deserted chamber, released them from their chains, and departed. Loriel had already ensured they would not remember this, or come back in here. The prisoners were still and silent, awaiting their fates.

Loriel had not been present at a Joining in years. She only remembered the words because she had looked them up in advance. Not that they were important. Not that anyone in this room would leave it alve.

“Join us, brothers, in the shadows where we stand vigilant,” she said. She sounded ridiculous. “Join us as we carry the duty that can not be forsworn.” How did anybody take this seriously? “And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten.” It would not be remembered in the first place. She’d made sure of that. “And that one day, we shall join you.”

The last word echoed away, and then she offered the cup: “Who shall take the Joining first?”

At least she was giving them a choice. Not much of a choice—one death or the other—but it more than the choice Loriel had been given. More than the choice almost every Warden in existence had been given. In her own Joining, Duncan hadn’t even let them volunteer. At least they had done something to deserve it, besides being born.

One of the men shrugged and stepped forward. Loriel knew neither his crime nor his name. He stared at the vile mixture for long moments before finally taking a sip.

A sip was all it took. He spasmed, gasped, and choked. He died over the course of a few seconds, but they were long seconds.The three remaining prisoners stood stiff and staring at the body. They had known this might happen, but now it was real.

It was altogether not surprising. Even honest, devoted, strong-willed people could die in the Joining. She had no reason to expect that men who had only agreed to the Joining out of desperation to do much better.

“His sacrifice will not be forgotten,” Loriel said flatly.

“Th-that’s a horrible way to die. Maker, I…” Another of the condemned men was shaking his head. “I—I think I’d rather hang.”

She shook her head minutely. “That is no longer possible.”

“Please,” his voice was a whisper— “Please don’t make me drink that. Please, I can’t, please just let me go back to my cell, I won’t cause no trouble, please, Arlessa...I’d rather a good clean death.”

The hangman wouldn’t offer him that. “I grant it,” she said, and crushed a blood vessel in the base of his brain. He was dead before he hit the ground. Instant. Painless. Better than a stopped heart or crushed lungs. She had gotten better at this, since the first time she'd tried it.

“His sacrifice will not be forgotten,” she intoned.

Two remained. Calder, the rapist with the noble relative, looked at the cooling corpse in horror, but the child-murderer’s eyes were closed as though in prayer. Loriel thought of drawing his blood screaming out of him, confirming his every worst fear about her kind. She thought of the lies she would tell him—that she could feel his little daughter’s spirit in the Fade, that she was here with her, that she wanted her to do this thing to him. How she would make him suffer, how she would make him weep. How she would use every trick she had ever learned to keep him alive, how he would spend eternities paying for what before she even began to consider granting him rest.

Yes, she wanted it. She would do it. She could not wait to do it.

“Step forward.”

Geron opened his eyes with resolve, stepped forward, and knelt. She watched his face. It was open and honest, terrified but resolved. He regretted what he had done. He wanted to atone.

Well, he would.

“Get up,” she barked. “Drink!”

Geron took the Joining cup and drank.

He collapsed immediately. The Joining cup would have fallen and spilled its noxious contents if not for Loriel’s instinctual telekinetic spell. Geron had looked pathetic in the dungeon, pathetic begging her forgiveness, and now he looked both pathetic and small, collapsed on the flagstones. Her heart thundered. What fortune that this man was there in the dungeons. She might never have otherwise had the courage.

And then she realized that the faint pulse of life was gone. The Taint had taken her prize. He was dead.

The soap-bubble beauty of her little fantasy popped.

“His sacrifice...will not be forgotten,” she said, unsure for whose benefit.

Bitter disappointment settled in her chest, tinged with the faintest strains of shamed relief.

“Guess that leaves me, then,” said Calder. He had raped and badly beaten three young girls. Now he stood swinging his arms, looking around at all the corpses.

“Just how often is this Joining fatal?”

She was slow to reply. “Not as fatal as your one alternative."

Calder barked a laugh. “Point taken. Well, nothing for it.” Calder seized the cup and took an unseemly swig, nearly spilling it down his front. He gagged and coughed, flecks of Joining blood splattering the flagstones. She was not really paying attention to him anymore. She stared at Geron’s corpse. She had been so sure...so ready…

In the heartbeats that followed, Calder, too, gagged and bent, and collapsed insensible to the flagstones.

And Loriel was alone with herself once more.

tck

She hadn’t slept at all when she next saw Brigit.

“Commander,” the Seneschal murmured as she set her morning tea in front of her.

“Seneschal,” Loriel replied, wrapping her hands around the cup, absorbing none of its warmth.

Brigit gave her report, halfheartedly. Loriel listened with even less heart than that. Finally they had performed enough normalcy that they dared speak of the matter at hand.

“Are there new Wardens for me to assign?”

“Oh,” Loriel said, as though she hadn’t even been thinking of it. “No. No, there aren’t.”

Brigit’s eyes widened slightly. “Oh. All four?”

“Yes. I’m afraid so.”

Brigit exhaled with relief. “It is justice, then.”

“No,” Loriel said flatly. “It isn’t.” Justice would be for that girl to have lived. Justice would be for a world where her death at the hands of her father would be an unthinkable absurdity. Justice would be a world where death had not been a kinder fate than the Circle. Justice had fled this place, leaving a massacre in his wake. Justice could not dwell in this world and remain Justice.

“No...it isn’t,” Brigit reluctantly agreed. “But the nearest thing that can be hoped for.”

“Brigit—may I ask you a question?”

“Of course, ser. I am ever at your service.”

An idle thought: As you should be. “Do you suppose I did the right thing, in allowing these men to be Joined?”

A voice, a ghost, a memory: Of course you did the right thing.

“I would not presume to say, Commander. I trust you know what is best.”

“I am asking what you think is best, Brigit.”

Brigit gazed at her feet. “It is immaterial what I think.”

“No, Brigit. It isn’t. Look at me. I value your opinion. I would have you speak your mind.”

The Seneschal lifted her head. “I think...that is quite unusual, for every recruit to die in a Joining.”

Loriel held her gaze steady. “These men volunteered only to escape their imminent deaths. I would not expect many to survive.”

“Yes...but many come to the Wardens seeking to escape their fates,” Brigit said, slowly. “Four is not so many as to be impossible. Perhaps not even notable, to those unfamiliar with the process. But it is...unusual.”

“Hm. Yes. Perhaps so.” Loriel made out as though she were examining her nails. “But this way at least Bann Helven can be comforted that his cousin died in faithful service. To die in the Joining is an honor. Far more so, I think, than to be executed on such charges as he had.”

“That...is certainly so.”

“Tell me again, Brigit. Do you think it was good, or bad, for me to allow those men to be Joined? Answer truly.”

An echo: You always do the right thing.

Brigit held very still. Finally she bowed her head. Perhaps it was only the angle of her head, but she seemed to be smiling. “I confess I think it good.”

Loriel shaped a smile in return. “That is wonderful to hear, Brigit. I do so value your support.”

“Thank you, Commander.”

“You should dress more finely. You speak with the voice and all the authority of the Arlessa of Amaranthine and the Commander of the Grey. Have you no fine brocades in silver or blue?”

How fortunate, that Brigit was pale enough that even the faintest of flushes showed easily on her skin.

“I could obtain some.”

“Good. Do so. You should dress as befits your position. Now, if we have nothing further to discuss...”

Brigit left her office flushed and preening. If Loriel had any doubts about her they were gone now. She was heartened to know that she did not yet need to accomplish everything with blood magic.

She finished the tea in silence.

tck

Loriel long dwelled on Geron’s death, down in her Underkeep.

She had no love of self-deception. She had long prided herself on this. She saw this ugly world, her ugly self, just as they were, and did not flinch. The old commander was the one who flinched. Not her.

And yet she had somehow been so wrong about her own nature.

Some things that Loriel knew about herself—that she liked power. That she liked to be in control. That she was ready to risk other people’s minds and souls, if she could keep her power and stay in control. It didn’t take a demon of knowledge to figure out why. She could imagine what Veritas would say, were it here:

Of course you love power, it would say as it pranced in its binding circle. Of course you would choose to keep power over all other things. You were a prisoner, Loriel Surana! A helpless little girl, bound by walls and violent men and love and fear and duty, and you are that prisoner still, prisoner of your own pretentions. You can no more escape yourself than you can cure the Taint. All prisoners everywhere take any scrap of control that they can get.

A woman who craved power above all else could not possibly be called good . She had tried so long and so hard to be good, and it had been impossible, and the strain of trying had nearly cracked her open. Well, fine. She did not need to be good. The Chantry was good, and the Chantry decreed it good to keep children imprisoned with rapists and torturers and murderers, decreed it good to break their souls. What did she care for being good?

But Veritas had been right, that she was lying to herself about what she wanted most. She wanted to find a cure, yes, that was so—but more than that, she wished so dearly to not be evil. If she could not be good, at least let her not be evil. Let her not sink to the furthest depths. Let her say that some things even she would not do, places even she would not tread.

Yet when the opportunity presented itself to subject a repentant man to torment in plain revenge for a crime that could not be undone, whose victim could not be recompensed—she had wanted it so badly.

Before she had gone to the dungeons she was not sure if she would have really done it. But she would have. And she would have enjoyed it. She had thought that, once the heat of the moment had passed, that she would grow horrified at herself, vow never to consider such a course again—

And that had not happened.

Was that not evil? To wish to inflict harm, just for the sake of it? For the sake of one’s own pleasure? There was no truer face of evil that Loriel could think of.

After that...it would be pure insanity, to slow progress on her work, just to keep thinking herself pure, when she so clearly was not so, and never had been. She had come into this world destined already cursed, already tainted. The Joining that had put darkspawn taint in her veins was little more than a formality. She had thought that she’d understood this.

Veritas had been right about her priorities, but they were changing now. If she could not be good, if her nature was purely evil, then—at least she might do good.

That meant she could not let herself get in her own way.

tck

Calder woke. It surprised him. He’d had such dreadful dreams, but now he was awake—sweet Maker, he was awake. He was alive, he had survived! A Grey Warden, he thought in a heady rush, I’m a Grey Warden now. The relief that bloomed in him was palpable, almost overwhelming. He lay upon what felt like a stone slab in partial darkness, and blessed Andraste, he’d survived.

He had really thought he was going to die, and die horribly. Sure enough he had felt ready to when the vile Joining mixture had burned the back of his throat. He'd never tasted anything half so vile..

And he had had such dreams…

But it was over now. Alive, alive!

He heard someone approach. “Congratulations,” said a voice. He recognized it. The Arlessa—and his Commander, now. He didn’t think he’d ever been so happy to hear anybody in his entire life. “You are a Grey Warden, now.”

He moved to sit up, to thank her, and found that he couldn’t.

Only then did Calder notice the fact that he was paralyzed. There were no chains on his wrists or ankles,-but the force that bound him to where he lay was far heavie than chains. He could move, and he could blink, even move his head a little to track the Arlessa as she moved around the room, but that was all.

“I’m sorry,” said the Arlessa, and she sounded like she meant it. “If it makes you feel any better, leaving you alive was never an option.” She turned to a workbench. He heard the clinking of glass, the smell of intermixing reagents. “A Grey Warden is bound to a life of service. So you are here, helping me with some important work.”

Calder tried to speak, to scream, but though he could move his tongue to swallow, no sound came from his throat save for a strangled voiceless gargle.

“I’ve stilled your voice, but I can unstill it. We can speak like civilized people, before I begin," said the Arlessa. "If I let you speak, will you do your best not to scream? Blink twice for yes.”

He blinked twice, and all of a sudden had a voice again.

“What’s happening? What are you going to do to me?” The words tumbled out in a stilted rush.

“As I said,” said the Arlessa. “You are helping me with some important work. As a subject. The details, I am afraid, likely would go over your head, though I can discuss them with you for a short time if you truly desire.”

“Please,” he begged, “my father, he can help you. He’s an established man. Surely we can work something out—”

“Your father,” she interrupted, “believes you to have died honorably in service to your countrymen. A funeral is planned for next week. They will burn what looks quite convincingly like your body. Your family will mourn, but they will have closure. Privately some of them will feel a little relieved. I hope that makes you feel a little better.”

Calder threw his head back against the stone on which he lay. Was it his imagination, or could he move more freely than before? “I know I did some bad things. The Maker will judge me, I know I deserve to suffer—”

The Arlessa gave a slight tilt of the head. “Deserve? No, I don’t think anybody deserves to suffer. This has nothing to do with what you deserve. Only what you can offer. If it matter to you, your life will probably make more of a difference to the people of Thedas than any other Grey Warden alive.”

Only then did it dawn on him. Sweet Maker, the rumors had been true, all of them. She was going to-- “You’re going to use me as a sacrifice in your demented rituals, aren’t you?” he said hysterically. “Andraste protect me, you’re going to...to…” His imagination failed him.

The Arlessa looked deeply offended. “I am not going to do any such thing. I need no more than my own blood and sweat and pain to work these spells. You are a subject, not a sacrifice.”

“You maniacal fucking bitch,” he gasped, “I’ll fucking kill you, you evil—”

Just like that he had no voice anymore. The Arlessa looked vaguely annoyed, at best.

“I strongly prefer you do not use language like that in front of me."

Tears leaked silently from the corners of his eyes.

“Perhaps it is foolish to talk to you,” she sighed. “Or rather, I know it is foolish. I admit that perhaps I feel a little lonely at times. But it would be cruel to leave you like this.”

His tears flowed freely down his temples and into his hair.

“You won’t die anytime soon, I’m afraid,” she said, drawing a knife, and at first he feared she would kill him there and then. “I don’t want to have to do this to any more people than I absolutely have to. But you will die with honor, and you won’t suffer. Goodbye. Know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten.”

When she spoke next, her voice was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard, so lovely and sublime that not to do whatever she wanted was the height of madness. “You do not know pain. You do not know fear. You are a vessel, empty of everything that might cause you to suffer. You are aware of your body, enough to describe how it feels to me, but it no longer troubles you. If you need something to live, you will tell me at once. Otherwise you will stay here, neither living nor dead, and you will know nothing.”

Calder fell into the silence, and didn’t.

#dragon age #dragon age: origins #the warden #surana #amell #femslash #please read my wizard lesbian fanfiction

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claude-frollo-archives · 4 years

Text

Imposed Fate

Imposed Fate A Count Duckula Story

Chapter 1. Prelude of a Nightmare

One fateful date, Tuesday 7 April 1870, Richter Von Gosling, a student of the arts of healing, decided to visit Transylvania in order to shed light upon a mysterious and disquieting subject, which was a case of vampirism. Legends and stories about the undead had the young scholar read before, yet he remained sceptical, until his colleague and confidant Reinfelt witnessed an attack by one of those creatures, and not an ordinary one but Count Duckula himself, a feudal Lord supposed to be dead centuries ago. Despite of the absurdity of the notion, Richter was not to doubt his friend; therefore, he had to investigate in more detail about this terrible menace and put it to rest.

The evening of Gosling's arrival, a thunderstorm loomed above the village, the weather cold and windy but rain was not to fall yet. Not a soul could be found wandering on the streets, there was a sense of quietude, a preface of the storm that soon would be unleashed over the town. Despite the feeling of impeding peril, inside the public house 'Ye Tooth and the Jugular' the mood appeared to be festive, with the regular crowd assembled for a pint or two, regardless the tragedies of life. In this place, the scholar found refuge as well as some more information concerning the malevolent aristocrat provided by the innkeeper and the parishioners. Gosling thought the recently gained knowledge would be enough to prepare a scheme to destroy the vampire.

During the following days, the scientist worked in the development of a mechanism designed to shoot a wooden stake but cleverly set inside a camera. When the contraption was completed, the gander headed towards Castle Duckula, an ominous fortress that oversaw the village from atop a hill. Presenting himself as a photographer from a newspaper, Gosling attempted to gain access to the castle and destroy the Count; these actions would end the suffering of the villagers and bring peace to Transylvania. No time was wasted once he entered the Castle. Introductions were quick, the battle between Count Duckula and Von Gosling finished as quickly as it started and not even Igor -faithful manservant of the undead Count- was able to interfere. However, due the thrilling sensation of triumph, the scientist returned to the town without realizing that the stake managed to harm Duckula, but it failed to stab through the Count's heart.

"Got him, the vampire is destroyed! ..." Exclaimed the deluded scholar as he rushed his way back to the village bellow, eager to tell what he assumed to be good news. "... The beast is no more!"

Meanwhile, the Count lied motionless on the stone ground. Igor knelt beside his defeated master, lifting the wounded vampire on both his arms. "... Master, Master! ..." The old vulture sobbed in anguish, fearing this to be the last hour.

"... Is all right, Igor! …" Duckula replied as he rose to his feet, dusting and straightening his suit jacket. Praised the Abyss, his Lordship was not slaughter, much to Igor's relief. "It was just a mere scratch …" The Count added with anger on his raspy voice. "... But he shall pay for this ... he shall pay!" He growled and proceeded to concentrate his energy in order to cast a spell. "... Come here, to my aid, oh winds of north, I summon your powers---…"

"Milord... if I may be so bold to provide advice... I must remind his Lordship that the appropriate way to conjure for the assistance of this element, Sire, would be quite simpler: ‘come gust of wind and be wild’… Brief but no less effective, of course" Igor admonished his Master on the proper casting of dark incantations.

"Thank you Igor, I had almost failed to remember that part … Anyway, you had already cast the spell, so you have heard it wind, obey our demand and be wild!" With that, the Count cackled with cruel glee, an aura appeared to surround his frame and a red spark was ignited on both his eyes, like flames of fire as he began to transform, while outside the fortress, gust of heavy wind gathered to form a dreadful tempest.

Oblivious of the dangers ahead, Gosling stormed into the tavern. "… Is done!--- The vampire--- destroyed! ..." The gander addressed the landlord, though he was out of breath and could barely articulate a word.

"What do you mean, young man?" The perplexed innkeeper questioned, while three peasants seated on a corner enjoying their last drink of the night, just had to listen and stare with curiosity.

"… ... What I am trying to say is that the vampire fiend is no more!---..." Gosling recomposed before resuming his speech in a serious tone. "... The Count now rests in peace, finally there would be no more suffering ... is over." He softly stated, honestly believing that evil was successfully vanquished.

A tense silence filled the inn until one of the peasants reacted. "... That is impossible!" He muttered in disbelief. "… Count Duckula defeated, requiring no effort?!" Added the landlord in dismay. "Yes, on the times past, I know the tale, the vampire was destroyed... but he was cornered by a group of vampire slayers! When we talked about the Count, I never thought you would attempt something so stupid, what have you done, lad?!"

Gosling was completely appalled, realising something must have gone wrong and to learn that the Count was previously overcame, then who was this Duckula he had just met?! However, before the scholar was able to find his voice, the farmer seated near the window screamed in fear. "He is leaving the Castle! ..." Every fowl residing at the hostelry turned to the window. They saw the rainstorm and a giant bat flying from the castle in direction of the village. In matter of few minutes, chaos settled on the town: the wind destroyed some of the houses, demolishing the roofs of the buildings. Duckula on his bat form attacked people running outside in a futile attempt to seek shelter from the storm; others tried to escape the wooden debris carried by the whirlwind, people cried in panic, the peaceful slumber of the village residents turned into a nightmare.

"Where are you, my dear Gosling?! Not so brave to defeat me?! ..." The evil laugh from the Count could be heard amid the commotion. "... Come, come out to play, do not make me wait!"

"I am afraid he is calling for you!" Exclaimed the innkeeper’s wife who stood on top of the staircase, from there she threw Gosling’s luggage; the two suitcases landed loudly at his feet. "If you have any respect for anything sacred, get out of my house! ..." She ordered furiously, pointing to the main door of the hostel. "... Away with you!"

"Wait, please!--- I don't understand! …" Gosling stammered. "My intentions were honourable; I was only trying to be of aid!”

"Yeah, thank you for your help, you just made everything worse for our village!" Retorted an angry peasant. "Why did you have to mess with the Count?! Now his wrath is unstoppable, he would go on rampage until sunrise and is all your fault!"

"I did try to do something, while you appear to accept this fate without resistance, why you don't fight back? For what reason you would even stay in a place like this?!" Although the scientist's response came out with a hint of defiance, in truth there was guilt within his heart.

"Because this is our home, foolish lad! …" Replied the proprietress without hesitation. "We shall not abandon our land! If someone has to leave, that would be you!”

"Very well said, Madam! Now you, go away!" A peasant urged Gosling to walk out the inn. "Hope he eats you, better you than us!"

"Came on folks…" The landlord interceded. "… Don’t be cruel with the outsider, he couldn't know any better, after all he is only a boy."

"… Oh nein, I am not! I will show you, I … I shall stop that fiend at once!"

"No, if you go out he will kill you!---..." The innkeeper warned but he was unheard. Von Gosling stepped out the tavern and the sight of destruction and the monstrous vampire bat, rendered him to freeze in fright. However, the landlord had followed him and he placed the travel cases on Gosling's hands. "Come on, son … I wish I never told you about the Count." He said with regret and grabbing the young doctor by the arm, he led him to the back door of the tavern despite protest of the parishioners but some of them were to agree on the fact that at the present it would be for the best to escape.

"I don't care if this is the land where I was born!--- The stranger was right--- I don't want to die!" Despaired one of the farmers as he hurried out to prepare a cart and soon enough, several of the town's people had joined him. Before Gosling was able to object, the innkeeper pushed him inside the stagecoach. From above, Duckula witnessed these actions and he was utterly amused. The giant bat could deliver an attack directly towards the doctor, given how easy was to detect him due his antiquated attire and the camera he was carrying; still, he interfered not for he had mused a greater plan since the instant he laid his eyes on Von Gosling. "That mortal had come to face me--- he failed no doubt, but he arrived on his own choice ... or maybe was it a design of fate? ..." The creature growled quietly. "... Nevertheless, I detected on him no greed for a reward or a desire of fame, not even a wish for vengeance ... What a disgusting attitude! However ... Could it be?---.... ... I wonder... ..."

In the meantime, the doctor was still unable to fathom the burden he would be carrying now that the threads of fate had been tampered with. ".... Sir., oh please I---... I thank you ..." Gosling at last found his voice to express gratitude to the innkeeper. "... I will be praying Gott for your souls until I am able to come back---..."

"Prayers?! ... Don't trouble yourself, it would be of no use" Said one of the villagers, quietly and embittered. "... God have forgotten about us."

"That cannot be true! I shall pray for you all, our Lord will never forget His children!" Gosling stated firmly as the cart began to move.

"Well, then I pray God I will never see your face again … may He bless and keep you!" Von Gosling frowned in sadness, lowering his head upon hearing those last words from the proprietor of 'Ye Tooth and the Jugular', the man who had just saved his life.

As the stagecoach departed from the village, Gosling silently stared at the silver cross pendant he had on his hands, a gift from his mother that now held a much more profound significance. "… So, they believe our Lord has forgotten, ja? ..." He lamented in shame and remorse; no matter his efforts or his courageous discourse, in the end he was left trembling with fear in times help was most needed, it was an absolute disgrace. "… … I am to return, this is not over yet--- this awful mistake must be corrected … I will be back; that fiend shall be destroyed, I am going to save all those souls ... is a promise!"

Later, at the break of dawn, the Count had enough leisure time and his thirst was quenched, so he returned to his fortress. As expected, Igor was patiently waiting for his master's arrival. "Did you find that miserable mortal, Master?" Greeted the sinister butler.

"Ah, I let him go …" Duckula replied calmly, tonelessly even, like if the latest episode were of no relevance.

The vulture raised a brow with suspicion at the Count’s answer; after such an eventful evening, this behaviour from the master was something unforeseen. "… I am not sure, Sire … you should have taken the life of that wretched miscreant ... or perhaps brought him here to me, I could have offered that Gosling a most proper … … care."

"Worry not, dear Igor." The Count spoke, a grin crept onto his beak. "... Amongst all the pleasant visitors we have received through these the years, this one had proven to be the most interesting opponent".

"Oh indeed, Milord, Indeed! There is no use on finishing the fun so early …" Igor rubbed his hands in pleased anticipation of the delightfully wicked punishments he would be able to inflict over that insolent gander.

"That is right; you got the idea, my Igor!" The Count chuckled darkly. "… He is coming back, I assure you, and I will be waiting …" Then, the vampire grabbed Igor by the necktie, pulling his head down to meet his gaze. "After all … ..." Duckula continued, lowering his voice into a threatening though gleeful snarl. "… We have plenty of time ... … … don’t we, Igor?!"

________________

This is the first chapter from an old fanfiction of mine I am re-writing (began in 2009, is 2020 not completed yet, only three chapters are ready), is an attempt to set a prequel for the Count Duckula series, based on the Dear Diary and The Rest is History episodes, a particular scene that appears on the show's intro, the Castlevania games and last but certainly not least, Dracula the novel. Posting it here now as an experiment given I have no idea how it would look like on Tumblr, and so happy to see fans of the series!

Count Duckula and the characters on this chapter belong to Cosgrove Hall.

#duckula #count duckula

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atiny-piratequeen · 4 years

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Fie’s Super Helpful Tips (Not Really) #1: Fighting Scenes

Hi! I was thinking earlier about some of the songs I’ve put in my playlist and I know sometimes my friendos and followers ask me for help every now and then, so I’ve decided to try my hand at giving you all a little peek into my writing process, and maybe it can help someone else along the way? If not...shiber posted this-

Anyway, I’ve been writing for over a decade and I’ve decided to not only give you all some of the things I go through, but also post some snippets from a fic I wrote back when I was younger on FF, and some snippets from my BTS fic Still Standing, since there’s a fair share of fighting/action scenes in that, so be aware that there is some spoilers when it comes to SS, if any armytiny was interested in reading it. The screenshots from the other fic are fine because no one’s gonna be reading that ya yeet.

Anyway, tips and cool raptor tricks under the cut! *kick flips*

So, for me, the most important part of my writing process is always finding the right music. I know some people have issues focusing when it comes to writing with songs with lyrics, because it may make them distracted. If you’re this type of person, feel free to make a playlist of songs that are instrumental, that may help better.

For me, with all of my scenes, but especially my fighting ones, I find songs that make me see certian scenes like a music video. For the examples, I’ll pull songs I have for my Against the Tide (Ateez OT8) playlist

So, when you think of fighting scenes, what do you think of? Rock songs? Metal?

Those two are the most common songs that come to mind when it comes to writing or visualizing fighting or action heavy scenes. I have some songs in my playlist from those genres that are there specifically for parts in later chapters that have very in depth and intricate fighting. (E.x Ludens- Bring me the Horizon, Literally every Babymetal track, Zoetrope-Yanaginagi and Piri-Dreamcatcher (yes, I’m counting Dreamcatcher as rock + Kpop bc it is, fight me).

But, sometimes, you can even formulate really visual scenes from songs that are not as suspecting (edm is a common third place to rock and metal but you can also use some pop and even jazz songs!)

Going back to my own playlist, I have some songs specifically for fight/action-based scenes that one may not overtly think would work for that kind of scene like:

Underground- Lindsey Sterling, The Sky Falls- Xai, and probably the most ??? Butterfly Effect-Exo.

Butterfly Effect is the outlier in all of these songs, right? How can something so beautiful with it’s lyrics have anything to do with fighting?

The answer is the tone. Sometimes you have to invision scenes out of the norm. Step back away from the usual fighting in the rain in a forest or running through a busy city doing disgusting amounts of collateral damage and think with your eyes closed.

Listen to Butterfly Effect, if you could, and think of the following:

Your protagonist is down on their luck, they’re close to losing to our main antagonist. Instead of having them in a dark area, imagine them somewhere brightly lit, such as a purgatory-esque place, but instead of a mute white, it’s all blue. Your muses fight, your protagonist losing their traction, and with it, their hope.

But then they think of the people who have helped them along the way, maybe? They think of what needs to be protected. They think of the people that would be effected by them losing this. Think of them falling, images of all they know and love passing the by as they nearly lose. They can’t, they won’t, they have to win!

‘You’re saving my life~’

Your muse catches their second wind! They fight back, and maybe with this, they can win? Or at least buy some time?

Fighting scenes can be as fun as they can be terrifying. Sometimes it helps to make your protagonist dominate, only to lose in the end because of their arrogance. Sometimes it’s the other way around.

But, for me, the first step is being able to close your eyes, and listen. Listen to your music, and listen to your thoughts, and jot down as much as you can so you don’t lose it! When you’re ready, go into your scene with those notes in your mind or in your notes, and move on to the next step.

Know your muses when you write. If they’re humans, do a little research and find out what kind of wounds can completely disarm someone, what kind of wounds cause permanent damage, and what kind of treatment some wounds may take to heal, be maintained. Know that some gashes heal within two-three weeks with proper stitching, while some require more medical attention and the like.

You have more liberties when it comes to mystical and supernatural fics, but you also can be down to earth with your fighting. Even immortals get fatigued, so keep that in mind. Engage your viewers, make your work heart pounding, but also you add a layer of realism if you don’t always make your characters OP.

Something to keep in mind as well is how well your character is at their fighting skill. Someone who doesn’t know how to fight may injure themselves punching wrong or trying to use a weapon they’re not familiar with. Don’t be afraid to write this in your scenes! Someone throwing a sloppy punch can turn the tide, or someone not accounting for the kickback of a gun could lead to them dropping it, or injuring themselves.

With powers, don’t be afraid to be descriptive when it comes to what they do. there’s a website called powerlisting.wikia that you all can stop by and check out when it comes to choosing powers, and learning more about their names and limitations, as well as their applications.

Of course, you are the writer and you can change these at will, but it’s also nice to have some form of idea to visualize when it comes to your characters using their powers. Describe the fire, know that different temperatures have different colors! Describe how a character may be surprised to find they have a new power, or that their power does something it didn’t originally do.

Know that the more a character uses their powers, the more smoothly they will use them in battle, and that sometimes their powers may be an extension of themselves.

Example time!

So I’ll be showing you some of my works and talking a little about the scenes in particular.

Written back in 2016 ish, the scenes pictured hits on what I mentioned before. Having the protagonist go through the motions of their final attack after a long fight. Something that by all accounts, usually pays off, right? But there’s this open ended feeling of not knowing if they fully killed our antagonist because of the escape (contrary to what is said at the end, she did, in fact, survive the attack, but only barely.)

With charged attacks, make sure you take some time before it’s fired, especially if its for something large. The more time you put between letting your reader know it was charging, to the moment its actually fired, you give the reader a sense of scale when it comes to how powerful it is.

Is the attacker prone to attack? Are they being protected? Do they have to start over if interrupted? These are things to consider. I’ll add a longer snippet from my BTS work now for another example of a different styled fight scene. It’s rather lengthy and again, it has spoilers for a portion of SS, so be aware of that.

---

Jungkook didn’t wait around for any instructions, solidifying his body in crystal as he bolted for them, eyes dark and full of rage. The boys knew that look well. It was the same Jungkook used when he used to fight in the Arena.

Wonho was the one to step forward, eyes wild as he met him halfway, dodging the first punch Jungkook threw at him by ducking. He swung his head up, cracking the top of it against the younger man’s jaw. Jungkook hardly budged, smiling back when he saw a trail of blood run down between Wonho’s eyes.

“Didn’t think that through, did you-” Jungkook’s sarcastic remark was cut short when Wonho reeled back, punching him square in the gut, cracking the crystal. He stumbled back, and all of the other members of his cluster flinched from the intense pain as well. Wonho let out a beast-like sound, lunging to strike him again.

“Wonho’s already flipped the switch. Go, I’ll keep an eye on him.” Kihyun instructed the other standing mercenaries, the palm of his hand glowing purple as he pressed it over Hyungwon’s eyes, whispering something.

Yoongi’s shadows stretched across the floor to try and slow Wonho down from the flurry of fists he was sending Jungkook’s way but Jooheon was on them in an instant, moving faster than Yoongi could process, kicking away any of the shadows before they got close.

“Fuck! I can’t get close!” He hissed, blocking his front when Jooheon appeared in front of him with a vicious spinning kick aimed for his chest. Yoongi just barely missed taking the full impact, if it hadn’t been for the shadows that instinctually protected him whenever Jooheon got close. The fiery dimpled man didn’t seem too put off by this, though.

In fact, the attacks only got more relentless, with Yoongi having to go on the complete defense as Jooheon bombarded him with kick after kick, disappearing in a blur before the DJ could lash back at him.

“Hyung, hold on!” Taehyung spread his arms apart, several shards of ice aimed Yoongi’s way. Maybe if he could just slow Jooheon down-

“Tae, move!”

Tae flinched, eyes wide as Jin all but threw himself behind him, summoning a barrier to block the large bear paw that nearly came crashing down on him. Hyunwoo’s arms and legs had grown thicker in size, shaped like bear paws. The fur around his arms and legs were the same color as his hair and the tips of his claws seemed to be longer and shinier than normal claws, though neither men could fully see what was going on with that from their current position.

The younger of the two sensates scrambled up to his feet, pressing his hand to Jin’s barrier to shoot the ice at the partly-transformed mercenary instead. Hyunwoo crossed his arms in front of him, all of the ice stopping just before they impacted with his body. Tae and Jin watched in confusion as his claws began to glow light blue, and a chill blew over the whole room.

“I’ll just borrow this.” He cooed, pressing his hand to the barrier.

Immediately, the entire bubble Jin put around them was surrounded by ice.

“You’re gonna have to think outside of the bubble to fight us, y’know.” Hyunwoo teased, smashing his fist through the frigid bubble and shattering the entire thing to pieces.

Jimin, Hoseok, and Minjun were preoccupied dealing with Minhyuk a few feet away.

They had found out pretty quickly in the fight that he was proficient with his weapon, blocking any physical attacks they sent his way and countering with painful strikes with the blunt ends. Though his arms weren't as thick or muscular as Wonho or Hyunwoo's, he didn't have any issue putting power behind his swings, bruising Minjun's abdomen upon impact the first time.

He smiled wide when Hoseok began getting frustrated, noticing the same for Jimin as flames and sparks began to flicker at their fingertips respectively.

“Hit me with it. Show me what you can do!” he invited them, rolling his neck on his shoulders before gripping the ends tighter.

Both of them were happy to oblige and Minhyuk had a ball of electricity fly at him from the left and a ball of fire fly to him from his right. He grinned, holding up both rods, eyes lighting up as the elemental attacks went straight to the tip of the rods as if being pulled in by a magnet.

The little crystal bubbles began to glow, and Minhyuk looked delighted as he brought the two non-blunt ends together, snapping them into a staff. It ended up forming a large hybrid weapon that was the length of a bo staff with the blunt ends resembling that of a cudgel. The bubbles at the ends were yellow with sparks crackling on the inside of it while the ones on the other side were red, with flames licking at the inside of the crystalline bubbles.

“D-did...did he just absorb our attacks, hyung?” Jimin inquired, blinking in surprise. Hoseok frowned and Minhyuk winked at them.

“It’s an invention of my own. D’ya like it? Gotta keep up with these guys somehow since I don’t have powers.” He explained before he moved in for the next attack, swinging at Hoseok with the electric side.

“Now, let’s see how bright of a candle my technology can hold to natural abilities!”

While they fought, Ji-Woo struggled to keep up with Changkyun, taking more than a few body shots than she would have liked. Her lip was busted and she had only managed to land one punch on the younger man.

“T...There’s no way I can keep up.” She admitted, defeated. Changkyun stopped short, humming slightly.

“Is that what you honestly think?” He inquired. She stood up hesitantly, scratching her arm. The barista tossed a look over her shoulder, seeing Taehyung, Jin, and Yoongi unable to form any sense of offense against Jooheon’s speed and Hyunwoo’s brute force. Namjoon was doing his best to help out Jungkook with Wonho, but out of nowhere a large bird-like beast appeared in the warehouse, focusing on Namjoon, effectively keeping him away from the group’s maknae.

He wasn’t doing any better, getting manhandled by Wonho. Honestly, he terrified Ji-Woo because it seemed like he had absolutely gone berserk, throwing his body at Jungkook with no particular style or strategy other than “hit harder and harder and harder” and it looked like the youngest was having difficulties keeping up.

Jimin and Hoseok had tried to double team Minhyuk, but he seemed to be absolutely delighted by the fight, holding his own as he absorbed their elements, using it against them along with the powerful blows from simply hitting them. (She was worried about Minjun, as he hadn't moved in over five minutes. She hoped he had just been knocked out and nothing else.)

She wasn't sure what Kihyun and Hyungwon were doing. It seemed like the latter was asleep, and Kihyun hadn't budged from his spot, whispering things to Hyungwon with his hand still on his head as he kept his eyes on Wonho.

Wonho.

He terrified her more than all of the others combined because he honestly seemed more beast than man. His eyes were manic, and every time the fight with Jungkook drew blood, it seemed his attacks got more erratic and powerful.

Changkyun watched her silently, closing his eyes as he tried to find the proper words to say.

“You're already thinking more than the others.”

She turned back to him and he put his hands on his hips, pivoting on his heel to look at the others fighting.

“The reason they're struggling is because they're not thinking about everything. They're not using tactics. Not communicating. No one said they had to break off into little groups to fight us. If Namjoon or Jimin were to come over here and attack me, I would not only be ready for it, but expect it. They need to look at every variable in a fight to dominate it.” he told her, watching as Wonho took Jungkook and hurled him against Jin's barrier, nearly tossing him into Hyunwoo.

The leader didn't seem fazed, though he did turn and give Kihyun a look. Ji-Woo's brows furrowed as she watched the sitting man, blinking when she saw him move his hand from Hyungwon's head. He raised it, aiming it in Wonho's direction when it looked like he was going to take a wild swing Hyunwoo's way.

“Stop, calm down. Let's stop, calm down, Wonho. Your fight isn't here.”

Wonho paused for a moment, the rage in his eyes lessening as he turned to look at Jungkook. He stood to his full height and stalked over to him again, looking significantly more focused than before.

Something seemed to click for her and she gasped, stepping forward to tell the others something, but Changkyun grabbed her arm gently.

“Don't. They need to figure this out, too. I promise, it'll be a lot more harmful to just give them the solutions instead of letting them come to it on their own.” he informed her. She frowned, but nodded, turning her attention back to the boys as Changkyun gave her momentary reprieve from their sparring.

Yoongi was getting fed up of all of this madness with Jooheon, and he could feel the fatigue coming from the others. He had backed himself up so much trying to defend that he had stumbled into Wonho and Jungkook’s fight, the shadows frantically catching a wayward fist thrown by Wonho. He glared daggers at the man, flinging him upwards in frustration.

That was the first light bulb.

As Wonho flew up, all the rage in his eyes melted into sheer terror, eyes wide as he frantically tried to catch himself. This didn’t go unnoticed by Yoongi or Jungkook, especially when Kihyun raised his voice again.

“Jooheon! Catch him!” he ordered and there was a gust of wind as Jooheon bolted past Yoongi, catching Wonho middair. His feet skid slightly when he landed, setting the shorter man down closer to Kihyun.

Namjoon noticed the bird behind him began to warp and bend into a horrifyingly large creature the moment Kihyun’s attention changed to Wonho. It also stopped attacking him, taking to screeching loudly and flapping it’s wings as it swooped down to attack the others. Heads turned, and the boys noticed Hyungwon’s face scrunched up as he began to toss and shift in Kihyun’s lap, as if having a terrible nightmare.

That was the second bulb.

“This is our chance! Get Kihyun!” Namjoon ordered, turning and running full-speed at the four.

Hyunwoo took his attention off of Jin and Taehyung, a slightly impressed look on his face as he moved in an instant to block Namjoon. The nurse was having none of it, wrapping a shadow around Hyunwoo’s thick waist, throwing him into Wonho and Jooheon, toppling all three of them. Wonho let out a growl, eyes filling with rage again.

Minhyuk swept Jimin’s feet and used the distraction to slam the fire end of his cudgel against the ground. Hoseok noticed all of the red from the crystals poured out of it, creating a wall of fire to separate Namjoon from Kihyun and the others. Now the only color in the crystals came from the side where Jimin’s electricity was absorbed.

The third light bulb.

“Kihyun, you’ve got to get the order back!” Jooheon yelped, ducking when Wonho swung at him. Kihyun sent him a vicious look, holding his hand out. His eyes started to glow the same color as the power increased. Wonho calmed down significantly, blinking and Kihyun pointed past the firewall.

“Not us, them. Get angry, Wonho.”

Wonho snarled and took off like a bullet, running through the fire and tackling Namjoon head-on, rolling on the ground from the impact. The bird beast screeched from above them and swooped down towards Kihyun and Hyungwon, but the older man snapped his hand back down to Hyungwon’s head, and the bird stopped instantly. It flapped its wings for a moment or two before turning and aiming it’s talons at Jin.

The fourth bulb was as bright as the others.

Changkyun hummed and tilted his head while Ji-Woo bit her thumbnail, anxious.

“It seems they started figuring things out.” He told her and she glanced at him in surprise for a moment before turning back to them.

This is the other example I meant of difference in ability power. Be sure to let your readers know how comfortable people are with their powers. If they’re new or not as experienced, show that. If they’re from a more experienced team (Like MX is here), be sure to think of ways to show off each person’s strengths and weaknesses and how that plays into team fights.

I don’t know if this helped, but if anyone would like me do to more little tip posts like this, please let me know! I hope this helped a little.

#fie's writing tips #i hope it made sense...#fie writes

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paws-and-claws-au · 5 years

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Chapter 2: A Lonely Existence

Prologue, Ch.1, Ch.2, Ch.3, Ch.4

Summary: In a kingdom where practicing magic is outlawed and mythical creatures are being hunted, one boy is caught in the crossfire between the two sides of the fight. Only an act of pure, selfless love will lift his curse and return his life to normal…but who could ever love a monster like him?

Chapter Summary: As Patton loses more and more hope with every passing day, Roman sets off to find the tower Remy told him about...with a watchful eye following his every move.

Warnings: Loneliness, fear, hopelessness

Pairings: Eventual Royality and Analogical

Word Count: 3,456

Song for this chapter: Temporary Nothing

AU Creator: @thegremlinprince

Fic Author: @ironwoman359

Available on AO3 here

The first time he’d heard someone climbing his tower, Patton had been excited.

It was a few months after the Dragon Witch had appeared, and Patton had been doing his best to keep his spirits up. There was hope now, real hope for the first time in years, he just had to hold onto it! So he tried to stay strong; he sang songs, he fed crumbs to the mice and birds that made their way into the tower, he distracted himself as best he could, and when he felt the pangs of loneliness in his chest grow, he tried to force them down by whispering it’s alright, someone will come for me, it will be alright, it will be alright soon.

That didn’t always work, and sometimes he found himself as a dragon, curled up in the corner with steaming hot tears dropping to the stone floor, but he knew it wouldn’t be forever…one day, someone would come for him and he wouldn’t have to live like this anymore. He just had to wait.

So when he first heard scrambling and scraping from the outside of the tower, he had been excited. He rushed to the window, already feeling the beginnings of a transformation as his spirits rose, but as he poked his dragon’s head out to see who was coming, he was met with an angry shout and a flying arrow from a crossbow. Patton yelped, and darted back inside, the tingle of magic inside that had been about to turn him back into a human stopping abruptly. Instead, as his heart beat wildly in his chest, he could feel his claws and teeth growing longer, his scales growing tougher, the heat in his center growing hotter.

“Foul beast!” a shout came from below, and Patton cowered away from the window. “Prepare to taste my blade and take your final breath!”

“No…” Patton whimpered, his heart sinking. This knight wouldn’t be able to save him. All he could see when he looked at Patton was a monster that needed slaying.

The knight’s head appeared in the window, crossbow at the ready, and Patton acted on instinct.

“Get OUT!” he roared, and the knight’s eyes widened in fear as Patton opened his mouth and let a stream of fire shoot towards the window. The knight made the very smart decision to let go of the windowsill, dropping several feet before he managed to find purchase on the tower wall. He tried a few more times to scale the tower, but Patton fought him off each time and the knight eventually gave up, shouting a few more obscenities at the dragon for good measure.

As he finally rode away, Patton collapsed on the tower floor and began to cry. He didn’t remember falling asleep, but the next thing he knew he was waking up in human form, curled up on the floor in a patch of sunlight streaming through his window.

That day, he learned that it would be harder than he thought for someone to break his curse.

There were more knights through the years, each just as cruel and vicious as the first. Time and time again, a tiny spark of hope would light in Patton’s chest…only for it to be quickly stomped out as again and again they proved what Patton now knew to be the truth. Patton was nothing but a monster.

And nobody could love a monster.

— — —

“What do you MEAN he saw you!” Desmond roared. “What was he even DOING there?”

“I-I, I don’t know!” the boy stammered hurriedly. “I think…he just goes there sometimes, the lady at the inn said something about plants…”

“I do not believe this,” Desmond grumbled. “What is the point of having you go on secret missions if you’re incapable of actually keeping a secret?”

“I’m sorry!” the boy pleaded, taking a step away and raising his hands. “I couldn’t help that he was there, it isn’t my fault that he and the prince stayed at the same inn!”

Desmond glared at him, then pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Fine. You know, it’s fine. I’ve known Remy for years, I know how to handle him.” He sighed, and turned to the pile of notes and diagrams on his desk, muttering to himself. “It’s fine, we’ll just have to change some of our plans around and-”

“Uh, actually…he said he wasn’t going to get in your way.”

Desmond paused, and turned back to the boy.

“What?”

“He…he said he knew better than to try and get in your way…” the boy fiddled with the edge of his cloak. “And…he said…”

“What?” Desmond frowned, and leaned forward. “Tell me, what did he say?”

The boy looked up and met Desmond’s eyes.

“He said just because you think you know what you’re doing doesn’t mean you aren’t being stupid.”

“Oh…” Desmond sucked in a breath and the boy shrunk back.

“W-what? What does that mean?”

“Remy’s being cryptic,” Desmond said with a sigh. “Which means he’s playing things close to his chest, so we have to be ready for anything.”

He whirled around and the boy flinched, and the Dragon Witch sighed again.

“Always so skittish. Do me a favor and grow yourself a backbone, then get back out there and follow the prince. Don’t let him out of your sight. His birthday is approaching soon, and you know what that means. We haven’t got much time.”

The boy nodded, then there was a flash and a sleek black cat stood where the boy had been a moment before. The witch and the familiar locked eyes for a moment, then the cat turned and darted out of the hut. Desmond sighed, and sank into a chair.

“Remy…” he muttered to himself. “What are you up to?”

— — —

Patton was incredibly sore.

He’d been stuck in his dragon form for over a week now, and while his tower had been more than roomy enough for him when he was young, he now found himself terribly cramped in the space. He wondered, sometimes, if the reason the tower wasn’t large enough for an adult dragon’s body was because his parents had thought they’d be able to break his curse before he grew this big. Or maybe they didn’t realize just how large he would truly get as he matured.

Or maybe, Patton thought with a dull ache in his chest, they just hadn’t cared enough to consider it at all.

Not that it really mattered now. It had been seven years since his parents had died, seven years since the Dragon Witch had come to his tower and given him a chance of breaking the curse. Seven years of disappointment as knight after knight ventured into his tower with swords and bows drawn, angry voices sending him into a panicked transformation and leaving him no choice but to fight his would be rescuers away.

His transformations took longer and longer to come out of these days, and the fear that one day he would lose his humanity completely kept him awake at night, wrapped in every blanket he had in the tower in a desperate attempt to stop himself from shaking. When he found himself trapped within his dragon’s skin, there wasn’t much he could do now besides curl up into a ball and wait to turn back into a human.

Which, with how hopeless he felt almost all the time nowadays, was easier said than done.

A sudden screech from outside caught Patton’s attention, and he lifted up his head just in time to see a large barn owl fly up and perch on the windowsill of the tower. The bird let out another call, quieter this time, and Patton smiled softly.

“Hi there, pretty bird,” he murmured. “How’ve you been?”

The owl didn’t speak, as it was just an ordinary barn owl, but Patton liked to think that his feathered friend who flew by from time to time could understand him anyway. It was either believe that or face the crushing loneliness of his tower day after day.

“I’ve been about the same,” Patton continued, stretching out his left wing as much as he could and glancing at the pale blue scales he could see out of the corner of his eye. “As you can tell,” he added, sighing.

The owl squawked in response and cocked its head, fixing Patton with a pointed look.

“What?” Patton sighed, resting his head back down on his claws. “It’s hardly surprising, is it? It’s not like I have a lot to be happy about right now.”

The owl ruffled his feathers, then looked back and forth between the window and Patton several times. Patton lifted his head up again, and the owl dutifully hopped out of the way so he could look.

Sunlight poured into the room, and the stunningly blue sky outside was dotted with the whitest, puffiest clouds Patton had seen in a long time. A soft warm breeze carried the scent of pine needles and wildflowers through the tower window, and Patton closed his eyes, breathing deeply and taking it all in. When he opened them again, the owl had vanished from its perch, but Patton barely had time to wonder where his little friend had gone before the bird returned with a freshly plucked wild daisy in its beak.

It dropped the flower onto Patton’s claw, and screeched expectantly. Patton laughed, and as he did so, he felt a tingle of warmth glowing at his center. A flash of magic, and he was human again, a freshly picked daisy in his fist. He brought the flower up to smell, and he smiled up at the owl.

“Thank you, pretty bird,” he cooed, reaching forward and giving his friend a scratch on the head.

The owl leaned into the touch, then its gaze fixed on something above Patton and it squawked again.

“Hmm?” Patton glanced up, then sighed when he realized what the bird was looking at. “Oh, these.”

He ran a hand over the horns that were protruding out of his fluffy brown mess of curls.

“These haven’t gone away the last several times, I’m afraid,” he said, stroking the owl absently. “Guess that Dragon Witch really lives up to his name, huh?”

The owl ruffled its feathers, and Patton could have sworn it frowned, and he shook his head fondly.

“Now now, there’s no use getting angry, pretty bird. What’s done is done, we can’t change that, can we now?” He looked down at the flower in his hands and he sighed. “We just have got to live with what we’ve got now. And what I’ve got…” he looked around his tower, then wrapped his arms around himself. “Is this.”

The owl screeched indignantly, then took off from the windowsill. Patton went to the edge to watch as his friend flew in a few small circles outside before returning to its perch. It squawked again, flapping its wings a few times for good measure, before fixing its unblinking stare onto Patton.

“Out…there?” he asked, cocking his head. The owl chirped in approval, leaning towards Patton then turning and leaning back out of the window again. “Me out there…” Patton supplied, then he sighed. “Oh, I know pretty bird. Believe me, I know.”

Patton turned and set the flower down on his desk in the corner, then turned back to the owl with a sad smile.

“I wish I could leave, fly away like you. But I’m too big now as a dragon to get out, and there’s no way down as a human. Besides…” Patton felt tears prick at the edge of his eyes, and he quickly wiped them away. “There’s…nowhere for me to go. I can’t…I’m not…”

More tears fell, and Patton could tell he was in danger of transforming again, but so, evidently, could his visitor, and the owl chirped again, hopping forward and pushing his head against Patton’s hand. Patton smiled shakily, and began stroking the owl’s soft feathers.

They stayed there in silence, for how long, Patton wasn’t really sure, but bit by bit, Patton felt himself calming down. He let his hand fall away from his feathered friend, and he took a deep breath.

“I’ll be okay now, pretty bird,” he said quietly, and nodded at the owl. “Go on now, you have your dinner to catch I’ll bet.”

The bird let out one final screech, before it spread its wings and took off from the window again, leaving Patton once more to his solitude. Patton sighed once the bird had gone, glancing over at his reflection in a mirror that stood by his bed. The horns on his head were longer now then the last time he’d been human, but he couldn’t let himself think about that now.

He lay down on his bed, savoring the feeling of being able to stretch his limbs again before pulling a blanket over his head to block out any sunlight. It may have still technically been morning, but Patton found that he just was too tired to continue the day. There wasn’t much for him to do in the tower anyway, and none of his usual past times seemed appealing to him just then. He closed his eyes, and waited to be taken by sleep.

— — —

Even though the sun had barely risen when he’d started out, it was still nightfall by the time Roman came upon a scattering of shacks and huts by the river that could be called a village. He dismounted and took his horse’s reins in his hands, entering the settlement on foot. Most of the villagers had retreated indoors for the day, and the streets (if you could even call the beaten down strip of earth running between the buildings a street) were eerily empty as Roman headed towards what he assumed to be the village leader’s home, as it was the only structure in the town that stood at two stories high.

Roman knocked on the door, stroking his horse’s neck as he waited for an answer. The door cracked open, and a pair of curious eyes peered out.

“What d’you want?” a boy looking to be in his early teens asked.

“Hello,” Roman said, smiling down at the boy. “Tell me, is this where I can find the village leader?”

The boy raised an eyebrow, but nodded and turned, calling over his shoulder into the house.

“Gramps! Someone’s at the door for you!”

“Is it Margerie about her chickens again? Because if it is, then I swear–”

“Nah, it’s some guy in armor!” the boy called back, glancing at Roman again. “And he’s got a horse with him!”

“Oh? Very well, then.”

A soft grunt, then the door was pulled open, revealing a man stooped over with age standing behind the boy. His eyes swept over Roman, lingering on the royal crest on his tunic and saddlebags before turning to his grandson.

“Kai, please tend to our guest’s horse. Lucy will have to share her paddock tonight.”

The boy, Kai, nodded, and Roman handed over his reins, stepping into the house at the old man’s invitation. Once the door was closed behind him, the man turned and bowed as low as he could manage.

“Prince Roman, it is a great privilege. Many a knight has passed through our humble village, but never one as stately as yourself.”

Roman nodded, indicating with his hand that the man should rise.

“You honor me with your words, sir. I do hope I am not imposing.”

“Not at all, Sire,” the man assured him. “Please, come sit and rest yourself by the fire. Wherever it is you have ridden from, you must have travelled far to reach this place.”

“Is your village as isolated then in other directions as it is from settlements to the west?” asked Roman as he sat, grateful to finally have a break from riding.

“Indeed,” the old man nodded. “For years, there was nothing in this part of the countryside besides the Belmont Watchtower. A few decades ago, some settlers thought this would be a fine place to begin a new village, but not many people wanted to move somewhere so remote. Then, of course…after awhile, no one wanted to stay. Ah, but forgive me, I am rambling again.”

Roman cocked his head, smelling a story.

“Why would no one wish to settle here?” he asked. “The land looks good, and the river flows strong and clear. There is a pine forest I can see just over the northern ridge, no doubt suitable for hunting or trapping. Distance from civilization aside, it seems to me like this would be a fine place indeed to build a homestead.”

The man smiled wryly.

“Indeed, perhaps with a few more years work this place could have become quite prosperous. Then, nearly fifteen years ago, something changed.”

Roman leaned forward expectantly.

“The Belmont Watchtower no longer sits abandoned,” the elder continued. “A terrible monster now resides there, and though it has never left the tower to our knowledge, none wish to live in its shadow. The only villagers left are those who cannot leave, because they have nowhere else to go, or because they are too old or frail to travel.”

“Like yourself,” Roman asked, and the man nodded.

“My wife died many years ago, and my only daughter did not live to see her son’s fourth birthday. My grandson, Kai is ill as well, and cannot travel far. What’s more, over the years the villagers have begun to look to me for answers. We do not have much here, and it can be very lonely at times. But we make do.”

Roman nodded in understanding.

“While I’m sure it is hard to imagine how, I do believe I understand your plight,” he said, thinking back on his own life at the castle. Sure, he had far more wealth and privilege than he knew what to do with, but being surrounded by servants and advisors and nobles could make you feel just as alone as being in a settlement with hardly any inhabitants. Roman would even go so far as to wager that the people in this tiny village often felt less lonely than he. At least they had each other.

“And...the tower,” Roman asked, not wanting to dwell on such somber thoughts. “Who inhabits it?”

“As I said,” the man said with a frown, “a beast lives within its walls.”

“I have been told that if I wished to protect my kingdom, I would do well to face whatever is in that tower.

“Your Highness,” the man sighed. “As I said, you are not the first knight to have come here. In the past seven years or so, we have had many who sought to lay claim to whatever it is that creature is guarding. None have succeeded. While I have no doubt in Your Highness’s abilities, I must implore you to seek elsewhere for your prize. There are not many who can kill a dragon.”

Roman’s eyes widened. He was a capable warrior, it was true, but never in all his days had he faced down a foe as formidable as a dragon. He didn’t know if he could win in a fight against such a beast. He didn’t know if anybody could. He could hear his father’s voice in his head, telling him that he had no business riding across the country going on “pointless adventures” and chasing “flights of fancy.” But then, another voice echoed in his head.

“You may find yourself in the face of danger the likes of which you’ve never seen, but behind it all lies a lonely soul that is desperate need of help.”

“I appreciate your concern, good sir,” Roman said, with another nod. “But it is not a prize or glory that I seek. This is a task that I must do.”

The man shrugged in a way that said have it your way, then, before rising to his feet.

“Whatever your decision, Sire, it is late now. Please, we have a spare room in this house for travellers. It is not much, but it is at your disposal.”

Roman nodded in thanks, and once again found himself in a sparsely furnished room, tugging off his armor. He glanced out the window, and saw the Belmont Watchtower peeking over a hill in the distance. A faint light shone from the tower’s window, and Roman felt a resolve stirring in his heart. He couldn’t explain it, but somehow, he knew that whatever was waiting for him in that tower would change his life.

And Roman was determined to be ready for it.

Prologue, Ch.1, Ch.2, Ch.3, Ch.4

A/N: SO sorry that it’s taken me so long to finish this chapter guys, real life has just kicked me really hard in the gut with how busy I’ve been so far this year, but I’m so happy to finally have this out for you guys! Thank you so much for sticking with us! (I promise, next time Roman and Patton will actually be in the same scene XD) As always, reblogs and comments are hugely appreciated <3

AU Creator: @thegremlinprince

Other fics by @ironwoman359

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gcrifin · 5 years

Text

getting to know Lulubelle!!

tagged by: @devilslcg GET YOINKED tagging: Who you think

Name? ❝ Lulubelle Elsemore!! ❞ What was this, role call? ❝ My friends call me Lulu. Or, if you’re after my neck, ‘Loyal’ Lulu ! ❞

Are you single? ❝ Yeah. But are you really single when you’re having such a good time ?? ❞

Are you happy? ❝ You know what they say: you can always be happier ! ❞

Are you angry? ❝ I don’t think so. ❞ A thoughtful hum. ❝ I am a little bummed I don’t have anyone to hang out with, though . ❞

Are your parents still married? ❝ Of course!! At least, I can’t imagine why they wouldn’t be. I haven’t seen them in a long time ... ❞

NINE FACTS –

Birth Place? ❝ San Faldo, in Paradise. Liveliest place you’ll ever see !! ❞

Hair Color? ❝ Blonde . ❞

Eye Color? ❝ Green . ❞

Birthday? ❝ December 8th . ❞

Mood? ❝ Everything’s been okay, so I guess I’m doing okay too ! ❞

Gender? ❝ Female . ❞

Summer or winter? ❝ I like both, but I guess summer! I don’t like wearing extravagant costumes in the summer but it’s perfect for comfy clothes! Winter is great for balls, though. Walking through snow in a fluffy gown makes me feel like a noble ! ❞

Morning or afternoon? ❝ Afternoon comes just before the night life, ❞ a wide grin, ❝ and nothing beats the night life! Nobody likes waking up hung over, anyway . ❞

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE ? –

Are you in love? ❝ Mm, that’s a nice thought, isn’t it? Being in love ? ❞ A tap of the lower lip. Kittenish smile, twisting quickly into mischief. ❝ Wouldn’t you like to know, nosy ? ❞

Do you believe in love at first sight? ❝ A lot of stranger things happen. Fairy tales are a reality in the New World. ❞ being able to transform into a monstrous griffin, Lulubelle can attest to that statement. ❝ I suppose I do . ❞

Who ended your last relationship? ❝ Do affiliations count? Because I’ll be damned if I let the navy step all over me again. ❞ Or the captain responsible for causing her so much grief, for that matter. ❝ Also, their soldiers keep saying they won’t back off even when I invite them out! Can you believe that? I’m not even a pirate !! ❞ Yet. She mumbles deeply into the fabric of her cloth, ❝ I bet if I made a deal with a Warlord they’d listen to me ... ❞

Or try to kill her of their own accord. But at least it would be more fun than scaring off novice marines. That was starting to get taxing. It had been a fairly long time since she felt genuinely threatened by anything or anyone .

❝ Oh, it has to be romantic? ❞ she purses her lips. ❝ Well, I haven’t really had anything to end, so ... ❞

Have you ever broken someone’s heart? A soft bite of the lip and a concerned expression. ❝ No. At least, I really hope not . ❞

Her parents’, maybe, when she left and considered never coming back .

Are you afraid of commitments? ❝ I make commitments all the time! Do you know how many parties I’ve planned? The kind of people I’ve put up with? Plus I’ve been out to sea for years now and ── ❞ It’s as if there’s a list a mile long as to why she’s more than capable of handling commitment .

Have you hugged someone within the last week? ❝ Sure! People are starting to get less friendly, though. It’s kinda hard to find people okay with it when most of them are holding a knife to your throat saying they’re gonna claim your bounty. ❞ She laughs a little, the happiest smirk cutting it short. ❝ They wish . ❞

Have you ever had a secret admirer? ❝ Have I? It wouldn’t be very secret if I knew, now would it ? ❞

Have you ever broken your own heart? She says nothing. The only semblance of an answer is a slight nod .

SIX CHOICES –

Love or lust? ❝ Love, obviously! But... ❞ a coy smile. No Lulu, ❝ you don’t kiss and tell, right? ❞ Damn it, Lulu .

Lemonade or iced tea? ❝ Both if I can put vodka in them. ❞ A wide, all-knowing grin .

Cats or Dogs? ❝ Where are all the wild choices? Birds, reptiles, amphibians?? My own devil fruit can’t even pick which animal it wants. ❞ A joke, albeit a terrible one. ❝ But I guess since the king of beasts is in my blood now, cats . ❞

A few best friends or many regular friends? ❝ Can’t I have both ? ❞

A wild night out or romantic night in? ❝ Come on!! Do I always have to pick between all the fun stuff? ❞ An audible pout and a puckered lower lip, which she quickly retracts. ❝ Obviously I like having wild nights out! I grew up in the Carnival City! ❞ She presses a hand to her face, a wistful expression in her eyes. ❝ But who says no to a party of two ? ❞

It’s difficult to discern whether Lulubelle is an actor or a dancer at this point .

Day or night? ❝ The night life !! ❞

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS –

Been caught sneaking out? ❝ It was only one time. I didn’t do it again after that because my mother threatened to stop taking me with her to her bigger parties. In hindsight, I know she was lying, but little me wasn’t taking any chances on missing out . ❞

Fallen down/up the stairs? ❝ Of course not. Who does something silly like that ?? ❞

Lulubelle does. Multiple times. Especially while drunk. Nothing quite like a night of celebration to really bring out the idiot in a young, wild heart .

Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ❝ I wanted to be free, once. ❞ It was a tender subject. A shame she hadn’t the motivation to explain any further .

Wanted to disappear? ❝ ... Yeah . ❞

FOUR PREFERENCES –

Smile or eyes? ❝ Both! What good’s a sharp smile without a sharp pair of eyes ? ❞

Shorter or Taller? ❝ Oh, taller... like a protective wall to wrap their arms around you! Or maybe simply intimidate your enemies. ❞ There was something about sheer intimidation and strength that really caught the griffin’s attention. Then again, there was something sweet about the meek and small. ❝ But short is sweet . ❞

Intelligence or Attraction? ❝ Why not both? I can’t imagine anybody that’s made it all the way to the New World lacking in either . ❞

Hook-up or Relationship? ❝ Relationship. Duh. But if you ask nicely, maybe I’ll follow you home . ❞

A playful flick of the tongue, naught more than the tip .

FAMILY –

Do you and your family get along? ❝ Family is everything! It doesn’t matter what kind of family you have or plan to make! Of course we get along !! ❞

Would you say you have a “messed up life”? ❝ Maybe. But it’s not living if everything feels like an impossible dream made into reality, now is it ? ❞

Have you ever ran away from home? ❝ I didn’t get very far, ❞ she admits sheepishly. ❝ I came right back home because I got hungry and I was too young to get into any of the night parties by myself . ❞

Have you ever gotten kicked out? ❝ I had a bar kick me out once because the keep said I was beating up all his patrons, ❞ an exaggerated incredulous look. ❝ It’s not my fault people have egos the size of their over-inflated heads! I make bets, I win, and then their big boy prides get bruised and they start it. I like having a little entertainment while I eat. I just wanna have a little fun!! Is that so bad ?? ❞

A pause. ❝ Oh? No... my parents would never kick me out. Why do you ask ? ❞

FRIENDS –

Do you secretly hate one of your friends? ❝ Why on earth would I hate a friend? Kinda defeats the purpose of a friend, doesn’t it ? ❞

Do you consider all of your friends to be good friends? ❝ I don’t see why not . ❞

Who is your best friend? ❝ Salohn. ❞ She tries not to chuckle but does so anyway. ❝ He knows just about everything you could ever know about weapons. I guess he kind of saved me once, too. He was in the navy a lot longer than I was. Really fun guy. Really good tactician, too. People think he’s an idiot because he’s so fun-loving and oblivious but he doesn’t really mess around when it comes to strategy. Haven’t seen him in ages, though. ❞ A curious scratch of the scalp. ❝ I wonder what he’s up to ... ❞

Who knows everything about you? ❝ My parents. ❞ Possibly. There was a lot of memories being made that she hadn’t had the time to share with anybody. But they knew her better than just about anybody else. ❝ I guess Salohn reads me like a book, too. To be fair though, he reads everybody like a book. That’s kinda just how he is . ❞

#|| me: ah look at this nice ic interview isn't it great #also me: laughing hysterically at the statement ''winter is great for balls though''#I promise I'm gonna be 23 in may okay but listen #I have an actual brain age of 4 #also some of these are so needlessly long but I just ghsdjghskj #I'm FEELIN' it ||#//﹡♕ no life without a little bit of fun.﹙ games. ﹚#//﹡♕ when we know all there is; we will soar.﹙ headcanon. ﹚#//﹡♕ too much to say. ﹙ long post. ﹚

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crimsxnflxwerz · 6 years

Text

Where I Belong

Rating: Not Rated [Rating May Change]

Summary: Nineteen years ago, a mage lost their child to thieves, a man found himself somewhere far from home, and a woman adopted an unusual orphan.

Today, Corrin fights to right the wrongs that have been done to their family, but they also fight the battle within themself to stay. To stay here, where they were raised, though their heart desperately longs for answers. What is this marking on the back of their neck? Why do they feel like they've never truly belonged here? Is there somewhere that they do belong?

Who is this man Chrom and what does he have to do with all this?

Pairing(s): Chrom/Robin, Other Minor Ships

Characters: Corrin, Robin, Chrom, Felicia, Lissa, Frederick, Other(s).

Tags: Nonbinary!Corrin, Trans!Robin, Trans Male Robin, Corrin & Robin & Chrom - family, Corrin is Robin & Chrom’s third child, That’s the wild headcanon.

Notes: This is meant to take place during the Fates DLC where Corrin and Felicia kill some ghosty soldiers that escape through a portal into Awakening’s world. If I mess up pronouns, please let me know. Even tho (they/them) are MY pronouns, I still get it messed up in writing sometimes! Anyways, thanks for reading!

“That's a forest.” Corrin said, peering through the small sliver of light. The area around the portal warped slightly, behaving more like a tear in fabric than the stable portals they’d seen before. Felicia clutched her skirt nervously, looking in over Corrin’s shoulder.

“It is, my Lord.” she agreed. “Not one I've ever seen before. Must be someplace far away.”

“Or,” Corrin backed away slightly. “Another world.”

The young Lord sighed, pinching the bridge of their nose. The castle behind them was silent, besides the occasional bird chirp from a critter that had accidentally flown inside. Corrin looked down the marble hallway they stood in, listened to the absence of noise, considering what they could do next. Felicia watched Corrin silently, before placing a hand on their shoulder.

“My Lord, we have enough time to spare. Those people in that realm, they might be in danger.” She said firmly. “The palace can survive a moment without you.”

Corrin took a slow breath in, their hand travelling to the back of their neck. Under their hand a mark burned ever so slightly. The brand has been with them since they were an infant, at least according to a letter from their mother. No one could ever figure out what the mark meant. They just assumed it had something to do with their transformations. No one had ever seen a person transform Into a dragon quite like that. Of course, there have been legends, and maybe it was only a matter of time with the families bloodlines.

But for Corrin it was just another thing to separate them from everyone else. They didn't belong in either kingdom, they didn't belong in this world.

Corrin looked towards the portal once more. Every time they stepped into foreign land, a weight lifted off their shoulders. As if something deep inside of them was pulling them away from their own world. Corrin wasn't hesitant about killing those beasts, they weren't cautious of entering this foreign soil.

They were afraid that they would find someplace better. Someplace where they belonged. And something inside them would just refuse to leave.

“Okay,” they said. “Let's go.”

The two of them stepped through the portal and into a forest. A few feet ahead of them the tree line broke, revealing a beautiful valley, divided down the middle by a sparkling river.

“How pretty,” Felicia idly commented. Corrin couldn't agree more. The air was heavy with the sweet smell of spring. Trees bloomed thousands of tiny, white flowers amongst their new leaves. A gorgeous assortment of plants filled the valley. Down near the river were some of the tallest cattails they’d ever seen.

Suddenly, a scream was heard to their left. They easily spotted a cleared path through the trees and hurried along it. When they emerged from the forest into a smaller clearing, they witnessed the partially visible soldiers that had escaped through the portal earlier. The creatures had cornered a maiden. She donned an elegant yellow dress, her blonde locks in high, wavy pigtails. She clutched a staff for dear life, likely confused by her faceless attackers. Corrin broke into a sprint, cutting down several soldiers in their way, Felicia following close behind.

One of the mage creatures raised a tome to strike the girl, when a large man on a horse broke through the trees and struck the mage through the chest with a lance. Corrin stopped in their tracks, watching the man with a lance carefully. He was built, riding a horse with an unrecognizable flag on it's flank, holding a long lance. The girl hopped up onto the horse, wrapping one arm around the man's waist and the other bracing the staff at her side.

Corrin was broken from their trance when Felicia knocked them back to avoid a mage attack. All four of them flew back into battle against the phantom soldiers, determined to clear the area.

Corrin stuck to using their sword for the time being. Especially considering the fact that they had no idea about the natives opinion of dragon blooded individuals. They didn't want to startle them either, throwing them off could be deadly in the heat of battle.

Then suddenly, a phantom soldier struck Felicia away with the broadside of it's axe. In an instant, Corrin was isolated, surrounded by soldiers, preparing their weapons for the kill. That's when they heard the sound of heavy footsteps coming up on them. Expecting a phantom knight, Corrin braced for the worst.

“Out of my way!”

A figure jumped over Corrin and brought his sword down heavy on the axe wielder who struck Felicia. The man's flowing white cape partially obstructed Corrin’s view, but from what they could see, he was taking out enemy after enemy in quick succession.

Corrin was shell shocked for a moment, before jumping back onto their feet and fighting back to back with the man that rescued them.

Eventually, all the soldiers were cleared out, leaving the ragtag group panting. Felicia was sitting on the ground, hand firmly grasping a wound on her arm. Upon seeing this, Corrin dashed over despite their weariness.

“Felicia! You're wounded!” They panicked. Their heart pounded in their chest. “Is it just your arm? Show me!”

Felicia shook her head. “My Lord, it's fine.”

“No, don't be like this,” Corrin clenched their teeth. They opened their mouth to say more, but was interrupted by a tap on their shoulder.

“I can help,” the blonde girl from earlier stood behind them, pigtails dancing as she bounced excitedly. “It won't be any trouble. Just let me see.”

Corrin looked to Felicia for approval. When she nodded, they backed off and let the girl do her thing.

“My name is Lissa, by the way.” She said, kneeling down to check out Felicia's wound. “Thank you for helping us.”

Corrin fell into a heavy blush as the gesture. They wanted to argue that they were the reason everyone had been in danger in the first place, but instead kept their mouth shut, unsure of what to say.

The man on the horse dismounted and approached them cautiously.

“I agree, you could have run off, but instead chose to fight, I compliment the mentality.” The man said. “My name is Frederick, by the way.”

Then the last one of the group clapped a hand down on Corrin’s shoulder and grinned.

“And I’m Chrom, Lissa’s older brother. It's a pleasure to meet the two of you.” He said. Then, awkwardly, “even though the circumstances aren't ideal.”

Corrin blushed again. They cleared their throat. “My name is Corrin, that woman with me is Felicia.”

Felicia waved at Frederick and Chrom. Corrin smiled fondly at her, before returning his gaze to Chrom.

The man felt oddly… familiar. He was a little taller than average, with royal blue hair, short and relatively kept. He had vibrant blue eyes, and a generous smile. Even though it looked as if he were trying to blend in with his somewhat tattered clothes, it was obvious by his sword that he was royalty. The sword was magnificent. A large, silver blade with gold accents and a decorated hilt.

“Your sword, it's gorgeous.” Corrin commented, waving towards it. “Are you royalty?”

Now, it was Chrom's turn to blush.

“Is it really that obvious?” He said, scratching absently behind his ear.

“Well, I've never known a common man to have such an elegant weapon.” Corrin explained. Frederick looked on warily.

“And you, your friend there called you 'Lord’. You must be royalty as well,” Frederick pointed out. “From where do you hail?”

Corrin blushed heavily again. It was very apparent on their pale skin. They glanced back at Felicia.

“Someplace far from here. I doubt you have heard of it.” They said. Frederick raised an eyebrow skeptically.

“Enough of that, would you care to join us for lunch? We were just making our rounds. I would be honored to have you.” Chrom said. “Just one meal and you may be off.”

Corrin bit their lip. Lissa just finished up with Felicia. The pink haired servant approached Corrin and placed a hand on their arm, nodding softly when they looked over to her. Corrin mentally scrambled for the proper words to display their gratitude.

“O-of course.” They stuttered. “I am quite hungry actually, and I would love to get to know you better.”

“Perfect!” Chrom said cheerily. “Onward then! We haven't got much daylight left!”

Chrom turned around to walk on, and as he did so, Corrin got a good look at his shoulder. On his exposed shoulder was a mark that resembled the mark on the back of their neck. No, not just resembled, an exact replica. Felicia felt Corrin freeze up, and she looked forward to try and recognize what had her Lord acting like this. She noticed the mark as well and raised her eyebrows, but stayed silent.

After a moment, Lissa nudged Felicia. She snapped out of her little trance and looked over to her.

“You comin?” she asked, motioning towards where Chrom was walking. Felicia nodded slightly, and pulled Corrin along as they began walking. Lissa hopped up on the back of Frederick’s horse, and the group caught up with their retreating prince.

As they passed beautiful scenery, Corrin waged an inner war with themself. Do they talk to Chrom? Do they pry into Chrom’s life? Why does he have that mark? Does Lissa bear the same one? Their head was so filled with questions, that they didn’t even hear the person trying to talk to them.

They felt a small shove that snapped them out of their own mind space. They frantically looked around and saw that Felicia stood next to them looking a little annoyed. She gestured to Corrin’s other side, and when they looked, Chrom was walking alongside Corrin looking a little awkward.

“Oh Gods,” they gaped, blushing hard at their own incompetence. “Were you trying to talk to me? I do apologize, I can get quite lost in my own head sometimes.”

Chrom simply laughed at that, and shook his head. “Oh, no worries! My older sister is actually quite like that sometimes, so I’m used to it.”

“Your older sister?” Corrin asked, taking their chance to learn more about the prince.

“Ah, yes, her name is Emmeryn. She is the Exalt of Ylisse.” he said, although then he made a soft noise and included, “ah, my apologies, you do not hail from here. Exalt is the title of the head of the royal family. Our parents passed ages ago, leaving a mess behind for us to fix. My sister, she is very strong, stronger than me I would say. She has been leading the way towards peace ever since she rose to power.”

“That’s good to hear. I come from a similar situation, actually.” Corrin said. “In my land, there are two warring families that just don’t see eye to eye. They knew peace once before, and I am striving to bring that peace back. It’s always been hard, since I empathize with both sides.”

“That must be quite a burden on your shoulders.” Chrom said. Corrin barely caught it, but there was a glimpse of a far away look in the prince’s eye. “It’s hard when you want to save everyone. That’s just not how it works in times of war, unfortunately.”

“Yes, I can agree with that.” Corrin said solemnly. Unwilling to let the conversation die, they finally mustered up the courage to ask. “I don’t wish to pry, but I was curious about the brand on your shoulder. What is it?”

“Oh, that?” Chrom asked, glancing down at his own shoulder. The mark was specifically exposed for people to witness. It must be important. “That is my--”

“Chrom! There’s someone over there in the grass,” Lissa shouted from atop Frederick’s horse, effectively interrupting what Chrom was about to say. “They’re laying down, I think they might be injured!”

“Show me.” Chrom demanded, and Lissa pointed towards a lone tree in a valley they had been traversing the cusp of. The prince started to move in that direction, waving Corrin on to come with him. “Let’s go!”

Chrom and Corrin dashed through the grass, the rest of the part following close behind. They eventually came to the tree that Lissa had pointed out, and found a sleeping figure. They looked like a young adult, probably male. In fact, they somewhat resembled Corrin, with their white hair and pale skin. It wasn’t often that Corrin saw other youths with such pure white hair. Corrin crouched down next to the sleeping man and leaned over him. He was dressed in layers, his outermost layer being a cloak that reminded them of a mage. Laying near them was a powerful looking tome.

“He doesn’t look injured, thank the Gods,” Chrom said finally. When Corrin looked back at the prince, they could see the hint of a blush on Chrom’s cheeks. That definitely wasn’t from the running. Once Lissa, Frederick, and Felicia caught up, they also cautiously observed the situation.

“Don’t get so close, my Lord,” Felicia said. She looked apprehensive, but the man looked like he was simply taking a nap. There was something in Corrin that drew them to him. They ignored Felicia’s worry and reached out, gently brushing the back of their fingers along the man’s cheek. Corrin heard someone gasp behind them, likely out of how bold the gesture had been. However, Corrin was more concerned with how the man stirred, slowly blinking his eyes open.

“He’s waking up,” Corrin said, backing off once the man was fully awake. Chrom and Lissa came forward to lean over him.

“Hello there,” Lissa said with a welcoming smile. Chrom also looked on warmly at the stranger.

“There’s better places to sleep than the ground, you know.” he said. Then he reached out his hand. “Here, take my hand.”

The man grabbed the tome lying near him almost instinctively before reaching for Chrom’s hand. When the prince pulled him up, he only stepped back slightly, so that the two nearly came nose to nose. The two blushed and looked away from each other quickly, Chrom laughing and scratching behind his ear.

“Uh- um, what’s your name?” Chrom asked, once Lissa and Felicia had stopped chuckling at the interaction. The mage rubbed his hand delicately, and Corrin noticed a strange mark there. It was kind of unsettling, three pairs of eyes watching from the man’s hand.

“My name is, uh,” he seemed to falter for a moment, before brightening up again. “R-Robin. My name is Robin. And you’re Chrom?”

“Y-You know who I am?” Chrom stuttered. “How’s that?”

“I dunno, it just came to me suddenly…” Robin flinched. “My head aches.”

Robin looked around where they were curiously. There was absolutely no recognition on his face. He looked rather lost, actually. Corrin blinked their red eyes at him. Robin turned his head and made eye contact with the young Lord.

“Do- do I know you from somewhere?” Corrin asked then, hesitantly. Robin’s eyes widened slightly, as if he were remembering something. He cleared his throat, holding his tome to his chest.

“Uh, uh, I don’t know,” he stuttered. “I don’t remember much of anything, actually. Other than my name, and even that is kind of foggy.”

“You don’t remember anything?” Chrom interrupted. The group fell silent. It was then that Frederick chimed in.

“Your robes, they resemble that of the Plegian people.” he said darkly. “Would you happen to be on their side, young mage?”

“I-I’m not sure what you mean. Who are the Plegians?” Robin asked, looking genuinely confused. Frederick was about to open his mouth to say more, when Corrin rounded on him with a fierce stare.

“Can’t you see he’s confused? We must get him some food and water, he might be famished,” Corrin said hurriedly. Everyone stared, shock apparent on their faces. “He has no memory, what of it? We aren’t helpless babes, if he is a spy we will find out soon enough. For now he is our ally.”

After Corrin’s outburst, everyone seemed to snap to attention. Chrom turned away and moved to speak with Frederick about something, and Lissa and Felicia came over to inspect Robin’s condition. Corrin stayed close to Robin. They were curious, but also wanted to help Robin out. Feeling lost and alone wasn’t fun, Corrin knew that personally.

When Corrin approached Robin, the man smiled kindly at them.

“Thank you for that, I’m feeling really disoriented.” he said softly with a chuckle. “It’s not fun to be drilled when you first wake up, especially if you have amnesia.”

“Oh yeah, amnesia, that’s what it’s called!” Lissa said. “I wonder if there’s some kind of potion or remedy to correct it…”

Robin chuckled again at the concept. “Maybe. I wouldn’t know, unfortunately.” Corrin laughed a little at that, too.

“It’s no problem, Robin. I know what it’s like to be the odd one out. In fact, my friend and I are just passing through.” they said. “Oh, we haven’t been properly introduced. My apologies, my name is Corrin, these two are Felicia and Lissa.”

Robin nodded at the information. “Just passing through? Where are you from?”

“Someplace far away, I’m afraid,” Corrin said, hesitant to reveal the location to even this man with no memories. “We found ourselves here after tracking down a few dangerous men. I felt it was my responsibility to make sure they didn’t harm anyone. That’s how we ran into Chrom.”

“Well, I’m glad that you’re here.” Robin said, almost shyly. “How much longer will you stick around?”

Corrin glanced over at Felicia, who was speaking softly with Lissa. She looked happy. Corrin turned back towards Robin and simply took him in for a moment. Something in their chest was screaming for them to stay, as if this was truly where they belonged. Maybe it was all coming together. The brand on Chrom’s shoulder, this fair-haired stranger. The rolling hills and serene fields filled with flora and fauna.

There was a darkness here, too. A darkness hovering over everything. It was like the moments before a bad thunderstorm when the hair on your arms stood straight up. In truth, Corrin knew they had to leave sooner than later, but when was sooner?

“I’m not sure yet.” They said. Robin gave them the sweetest smile, a hand gently squeezing their shoulder.

“Well, I hope that you enjoy the time you spend here, with this company,” Robin said. “And once you depart, I hope that we meet again.”

Corrin was a little speechless for a moment, before they shook themself out of it.

“Yeah.”

#gay chrobin #chrobin #trans!robin #trans male robin #nonbinary corrin #nonbinary!corrin #fire emblem awakening #fire emblem fates #nice #no one else was doing this so i jumped in #bye #my fic

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uberoll-oystercrackers · 6 years

Video

youtube

“If a leopard never changes its spots How can I change what I've got? Transform, transform, transform, transform We don't punish the tiger for catching its prey So how am I the one to blame? If it's in my nature Transform, transform, transform, transform And I don't know why I fight it The least I could do is try But ego's in the way I know that you feel mad today That anger will fade away And you'll wish she was here”

and

“So ugly but you love me”

so i like this song for Lars n Sadie for a lotta reasons. the first verse directly names two types of big cats in reference to the first singer (Daniel, or in my dumbass head, Lars). the show connects Lars and Lion both figuratively and literally (they both serve Steven, the literal fucking trees in their heads right next to each other, their purposes in the show were originally seen as dubious, threatening, or antagonistic [Lars for MUCH longer than Lion, tbh]). So I thought that was kinda interesting. Also as an aside, between the fandom’s treatment of Lars pre-pinkness, and Rebecca’s own intentional writing of positing Lars as an original antagonist to Steven (in her words, “Steven’s foil”)- the reference of big cats is also a reference to beastliness. That can be seen in a lotta ways, but I’m dumb so for now I’m having trouble explaining but consider: racially, the division of gender, his mental illness... Lars being the one to compare himself to beasts is telling bc as many ppl have stated in the fandom b4 me, Lars absolutely detests himself. “Stupid and afraid” might be how one describes an animal after attacking another living thing. This breaks my heart, anyway.

The lines about being mad but eventually missing the ‘her’ in this song (Daniel’s love interest, sung by Charlotte, who we can say represents Sadie in this song) are driving me wild tbh. No matter how much Sadie has bossed Lars around, embarrassed him, lectured him, or literally set his ass on fire/trapped him on a damn island, he readily returns to his friendship with her. This was most apparent during the last bomb, were many ppl (myself included) deduced that Lars missed Sadie the most (zooming in on her picture, projecting his insecurity of her moving on by saying ‘it should have been me with the cool kids’). On Island Adventure we learned Lars is actually pretty sentimental, at least internally, and experienced intense homesickness (he wasn’t worried about dying as much as never going home, and to me that says a lot). He’s undoubtedly homesick in current canon, but out of everything he chose to focus on Sadie’s development the most. This dude literally died and he’s more concerned with what Sadie is up to like skdjskaslsadafs!?

the “so ugly but you love me line” is kinda just a nice kick in the gut bc it continues the theme of Lars seeing himself as unworthy. it’s an externalization of his real and imagined Othering throughout his life in Beach City. at least the song goes on and the voice I imagine as Sadie acknowledges that Lars is changing (more accurately: developing) and that she’ll be there to witness it... like waiting for a flower to bloom.

anyway i’m upset lmao bye!

#ube on a roll #Donut Soundtrack #larsadie

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sorikkung · 6 years

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i asked @softbams to ramble about bambam just bc i love seeing other ppl love bambam as much as i do and now its my turn so here we go,,, warning i get soft easily,, , dont hurt me,,,,

hnggnhkgsnj so like BAMBAM right,,, he’s,,, a DORK there is literally no other word i could use to better describe him and ill have you know i may seem to throw around the word dork online, specifically here on my blog but in actuality i use it extremely sparingly for those people that are so dfjklshjkf dUmb but i love them so much??? like ill only call my closest few friends dorks, i just use it a lot here bc i post about what i love and i love!!! bambam!!!! idk ppl express their love in different ways and “i love you” just seems so overused and meaningless and calling people a dork is just more me and honestly its the most endearing thing i could say about someone ANYWAYS so like why is he a dork??? he’s so wild in like every way my first impression of this kid was literally him spazzing on the floor and dabbing while got6 hyped him on and i was like??? THAT ONE. I WANT TO STAN THAT ONE I- I WANT THE TRASH CHILD thats literally how it went down and as you can clearly see i haven’t changed lanes since,, honestly to me the most attractive trait in any person ever is stupidity, and i dont mean shitty grades i mean like their sense of humour!! someone who isn’t afraid to make fun of themselves and be loud and wild and random and is just a little (or a lot) drunk on life every now and then, its just so,,, refreshing??? maybe its bc im like that and i find it hard to find people who can keep up with me in a sense but honestly with bambam its like im the one trying to keep up with him. it’s just so endearing to watch him screaming and roll on the floor and??? to watch him bambam around the place. he’s just so funny and it always makes me smile like an idiot??? and it seems like its not just me bc!! the rest of got7 seems the same!! his happiness and silliness is honestly so contagious like they call jackson the moodmaker and yeah he is (i LOVE HIM TO PIECeS hes a dork too) but like have you ever realised that like 90% of the time yugyeom is being a crackhead, bambam is like within a leg’s distance away?? and i say leg bc DAMN have you seen bambam’s legs, he prides himself in his legs WITH GOOD REASON TOO and he always has to show them off with those tight ass leather pants like calm down you’re killing me here. but ofc he’ll never calm down the boy has no control and i LIVE FOR IT bc its always unpredictable??? like you get bored of the same thing after a while but bambam is always so new and wild and!! keeps you on your toes!!! hes just so exciting??? and like omg i mentioned yugyeom before hE REALLY LOVES YUGYEOM (me too man, me too,,,) AND!!! ALL OF HIS MEMBERS!! like whenever the situation is tense he’d do something stupid to make them all laugh and the way he talks about his members??? its SO heartwarming to see him love them all so much?? i mean they practically raised the kid, like jackson and mark especially bc foreign line stuck together as trainees as TRAINEES do you hear this shit they have stuck together for YEARS before got7 debuted and they still love each other to death AMERITHAIKONG IS FRIENDSHIP GOALS IM SOBBING I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH like you know they’re soulmates when one gets a laptop thrown at him but he still looks up to him as a hyung alkjhlkgahsdfgs ill never live that down sorry its too funny,,, also like he may be a fucking idiot at times but i dont think enough people take him seriously?? like he has this mature side to him and its so nice to see that even though we all joke that he has no chill, he does actually have it when necessary?? like!! in that recent thai interview and he talked about his mum oh my god he loves his family sO MUCH I AM SOFT literally like he bought his mum who biases jaebum lmfAO a house bc they grew up under a tin roof WHAT AN UPGRADE and he bought his sister a car and like hes so modest about his achievements too like in that one hard carry episode where he and jackson in the back of a taxi at 4am had to take turns boasting and trying not to be modest, he had to brag about his achievements, this episode was so memorable to me bc only one of them was actually about him??? he mentioned that something along the lines of 8,000 fans went to the airport in thailand to greet him but then he mentioned about the concert tickets that sold out but it was GOT7′S concert like he had to mention his group bc they achieved that TOGETHER and like he then said he bought a house for his mum and a car for his sister like he was meant to brag about how much money he had but instead he said the good things he did so generously for his family im??? so soft??? his love for his family is SO SO SO precious (like him) and when he talked in that thai interview i was talking about earlier (i apologise that i keep changing subjects so quickly this entire thing is so messy) he talked about how his mum is the reason for his dreams to be a performer and how he wanted to provide for his family and dAMN HE DID!!! but like omfg hes so passionate about what he does??? its so so so inspiring to see, he went to korea at age FOURTEEN without knowing the language, the culture or really anything bc he went to rain’s concert and was so inspired and learned all his dances and songs and like it kinda reaches out to me bc like??? he started off as nothing but a random international fanboy and LOOK HOW FAR HES COME IT GETS ME SO EMOTIONAL!! and his mum kept on telling him that its ok if he didnt make it, that he could come home if it didnt work out, she’d welcome him with open arms but he kept going!!! bc he loves music!!! and hes so talented!!! and hes just so passionate,,, and so determined too!! such a hard worker!! like i dont think most of you realise just how intensive trainee programs are??? like he was fourteen and training 12 hours a day, he said it was from 10am to 10pm every day, and now he gets even LESS sleep like hes constantly talking about how tired it is like let the poor baby sleep oh my god he deserves rest but apparently thats too much to ask for in the kpop industry,, but no matter how tired he is he always has tons of energy on stage and off stage to make everyone laugh and keep everyone in high spirits and like he’s actually a ray of sunshine, a precious angel, a blessing to this world oml im rambling but thats fine that was the point of this lmfao i just!! MY HEART IS SWELLING FOR HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM!! and everything he does gets me so soft like i literally have an instagram saved collection of his smile that makes me smile and not like his smirk (which is,,, whew,,, REALLY attractice im weak for smirks) but like his full teeth, face wrinkled and eyes scrunched up smiles where he looks so happy and cute and i wanna pinch his cheeks hes just SO CUTE and whenever i see him smile like that i swear 7 years are added to my lifespan and it just MAKES ME SMILE SO MUCH bambam always makes me so happy like i think my parents i convinced i have a boyfriend at the amount of random smiling i do at my phone but like 90% of the time its just bambam,, hes just so aesthetically pleasing like we all know he is the fashion KING, like his style is so stunning but like i think his visuals are highly underrated tbh he had THE most iconic glo-up of all time, i remember during early realgot7 episodes he’d talk about how he wanted to no longer be the cute/aegyo type member and he wanted to be sexy and charismatic and oH bOy iS hE sExY aNd ChArIsMaTiC,,, if only the members that kept telling him he couldnt and that he was adorable would see him now, still just as cute and squishy as before but also a fucKIGNF BEAST????? like i think every time he does that prrah in never ever a part of my soul leaves my body. idk if thats even related. but like WOW HES SO PRETTY EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM IS JUST SO ATTRACTIVE PHYSICALLY like he has rlly pretty eyes, esp w/ contacts they really just make you notice them so much more and his lips?? everyone talks about his lips but NOT ENOUGH like theyre so plump and kissable and honestly i could kiss them all day if hed let me omg is that a bruno mars lyric ANYWAYS if you do era killed us all, dont deny it, even jinyoung noticed his lips i just LOVE BAMBAMS LIPS and like his JAWLINE is so sharp it could cut a bitch it just defines his face so well and his makeup too like bambam’s makeup is always so on point, kudos to the stylist noona like its not that he needs makeup, makeup needs HIM like it compliments him so well and adds to his,, aura?? idk about you but he owns the stage, like he has this aura to him he has made the stage his bitch, he’s not on the stage he owns it do you HEAR ME???? HE!!! IOWNS!! THE STAGE!! his dancing is so mesmerising?? and his voice??? he has every ahgase wrapped around his long ass legs finger whether you like it or not. and what i was saying about makeup like without makeup he transforms into the cutest, squishiest bean that i just want to PROTECC like his dUaLiTy you can hear that about any kpop idol but still, bambams duality is so crazy, he’s just....so sOFT AND FLUFFY offstage (when he isnt screaming like a maniac, but even then,) his laugh. is so cute, and so contagious i feel like ive said that already but its not any less true and like barefaced bambam just being barefaced and wholesome and cute and????? im??? adjhgjkahkldghalkj,,,, he just,, just him smiling makes my day fUCK ive said that already but as you can see i am whipped asf for his smile i,, and also how hes so bad at aegyo when he needs to do it but he has natural aegyo when hes not?? ??? ? HES SO CONFUSING i love it honestly i love him i just ugghhhhhhh. and hes so talented too!! SUCH AN UNDERRATED DANCER GOSH he has been dancing since he was a really smol bean and HES SO SHARP AND FLUID AT THE SAME TIME like nobody appreciates his dancing as much as they should and that makes me really sad bc its so enthralling to watch him dance, he really puts his all into it you can see it, but nOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT ENOUGH???? WHERE are your fuckign eYES YALL ARE BLIND AND MISSING OUT and his voice oh my lord his voice makes me fEeL thInGs especially when he does that thing when he talks all low and raspy and his accent is attractive too and like i would pay good money just for bambam to just talk to me like that all day like sure he isnt the best rapper in the industry, jyp never really had impressive rappers until stray kids but like he does his job as a performer well and UGH HIS VOICE IM WEAK IN THE KNEES like i die on the inside every time he says baby or honey or smth like that and usually i hate those specific pet names, but have yall seen that video of him saying “goodbye honey! awh, im your honey?” or just him saying honey in whos that or jsut AJAKLKAJKJKGFJ HIS!! VOICE!! and when he says double b i just FEEL his confidence and that aura i was talking about before now i have the habit of yelling out or at least mouthing double b along with him its actually everything??? omg and his meme game like i know i already rambled about how dumb he was but like specifically his meme game and his TWITTER OML like the whole dabbing thing, idk who started it but he made dabbing his bitch like he gave zero shits what other people thought, dAB ON THEM HATERS AMIRITE, and even on that one vlive where he claimed that dab was history he ended up saying he IS the history of dab and then dabbed in the next japan promotions with yugyeom anyways. the dab is not dead. the dab will never die. and his twitter holy fuck did you guys see the whole steven deng fiasco where he agreed to his petition to rename bambam to dabdab bc he couldnt be stopped then he INTRODUCED HIMSELF AS AKA DABDAB ON LIVE TV WHAT AN IDIOT IM SO IN LOVE and like in the video where everyone was saying you dont pick your bias, your bias picks you (bambam didnt “pick” me, he grabbed my hair and yanked me down into hell) he fucking said “i pick you” like hES THE KING OF FANSERVICE FOR A REASON OMG hes always flirting with his fans on twitter and calling them baby or babygirl and like at fansigns and concerts whenever a fan goes on stage with him he just flirts with them so much and calls them his queen, his everything etc, just i cant even begin to list all the times where he flirts with ahgases idk if hes naturally flirty or he just likes to give the fans what they want but BOTH IS GOOD TBH bc flirty ppl are attractive and like if its just for fanservice then that just proves how much he appreciates and cares for his fans like wow he really loves ahgase?? REMEMBER THAT CONCERT WHERE HE TEARED UP AND CALLED AHGASE “THE BEST GIRLFRIENDS EVER” I GOT SO SOFT HES SO GENUINE aKDFJLSJFLgdfklgjalfk and back to how stupid he is like he is also a petty ass bitch like he casually exposes his members a lot i LIVE FOR IT like the whole mark throwing a laptop thing or like other shit i cant remember off the top of my head and hes just so sassy and petty all the time like i love it so much oh my gosh sassy bam is an underrated concept bc savage jinyoung steals all the spotlight rip :(( nothing against jinyoung i love him to bits too but!! sassy!bam is just, my will to live tbh oh also can we talk about how hes literally a model like he made the camera his bitch too not just is his face gorgeous and his makeup stunning and his hair on fleek and his style amazing but like you can feel his aura through the camera too, he just stares with this LOOK its like hes actually looking at you his visuals are SO POWERFUL again not talked about enough bambam in general isnt talked about enoguh outside of being a meme and :((( it makes me sad esp when people still baby him like no hes a grown ass man hes had his glo up like have you seen him??? sure he can be effortlessly cute but also effortlessly sexy like he really is the entire package and oh my fuckign god he LOVES CATS HE REALLY IS THE ULTIMATE PACKAGE like everyone knows about pudding and latte but even before then he loved jb’s cat nora and apparently nora liked bambam more than jb and would wake him up at 9am every day and bambam would play with her for a while then go back to sleep and nora would sneak into his bed and omfg bambam and cats, two of my favourite things wow what a concept?? i just DIED when i saw his insta story updates calling his cats his babies or his sons and its just so precious i want to cry. speaking of social media again can we just appreciate that he runs most of his social media in ENGLISH, not hhe language he usually speaks (korean) or his first language (thai), but ENGLISH, just to accommodate for the international fans, hes going outside of his comfort zone and its so considerate of him and that once again proves how hes the sweetest person ever and loves ahgase so much and i feel so honoured to be an ahgase and i love BAMBAM, kunpimook bhuwakul, dabdab, double b, lil’ shit whatever you wanna call him, so much, and this got way too fucking long and random and the subjects changed too much lmao its rlly messy but like its a ramble so there you go i like bambam im out

#jesus christ #im impressed at mysellf for all this shit #kaifen rambles #like really #really #rambles

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mannapolis · 5 years

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8 February, 2019

01:04

I went to a website where one can use the ancient Chinese book of changes called I CHING.

I asked a question: what mission should I choose for myself?

Not that I expected a precise answer but it's always good to get a different perspective on your problem (I don't actually want to define it as a problem because there is no problem, just a question) even if this perspective is pretty random (it all depends on whether we believe in randomness or purposefulness of events).

Anyway, I like this result because it describes the process I'm going through and even if it does not provide the answer it optimistically assures my success if I stay on course. Well, I don't really have any course except Fano, every Tuesday at 5:30 p.m. 😉

07:33

I just realised that transformation is usually a painful process. Some patterns need to be broken, others reconstructed. I thought that there are probably a lot more ”blows” to come right at my soft spot. Maybe that's the way to strengthen it. I want You to know that I accept it and I will take all the blows that need to be taken in order to build a character that will make it possible for me to walk my path with more confidence and courage. I will fight back vigorously because I can be very stubborn but I am stubborn for the wrong causes!

I wonder which part of Anna is writing this message and why it stays quiet most of the time?

09:45

I just spontaneously reacted to the wave of anxiety in a completely different way than usual. Instead of tensing up my muscles I said out loud: ”Oh, ciao anxiety! I'm glad to see you!” Then I focused on the sensations and I was like: ”mmmm... it feels good!” as I was feeling those cringes in my chest and stomach. I was letting myself feel it! I wasn't afraid of it. I let it flow over me like I would let the sea wave flow over my body. Then I asked: ” Do you want to tell me something or just hang out with me?” It didn't say anything so I said: ” Ok, you can hang out with me anytime you want.” 😁

11:39

And please, let me love You! Just like You said, we can use it as a facilitator if we approach it wisely. I'm not ready to seek a real relationship anyway so let the one we have be the driving force for my transformation.

There is a part of me that wants to be naughty, rebellious, invasive, ravenous... but it's not the part that is loving You. The part that loves You is good-willed and respectful and wants only what is best for You and me. The other part wants to devour You in a fit of lustful desire that can easily turn into blind rage when You try to stop it. It's like a wild animal that needs to be tamed in order to make it cooperate. Although Nietzsche said that taming an inner beast is destructive for human potential, I think I need to undergo this process. It is important though that the process of taming doesn't aim at annihilation of the ”beast” but at transformation. I know it's all metaphorical and it doesn't provide any practical guidance but... you are the practical guide in this duet 😊

12:58

One of my ”problems” is that I want ALL days to be beautiful. But if all days were beautiful, well, they wouldn't be beautiful anymore. They would be quite boring 😄

Today I discovered Nikki Rowe, an author of the book titled ”Once A Girl Now A Woman”. I haven't read the book (yet), I discovered her searching for a quote about ”wild and free”. Just like in the saying: ”when the student is ready, the teacher will come”. And they come, one after another: people, situations, thoughts, visions, coincidences, feelings, pictures, books, songs...

Here's a beautiful quote by Nikki:

”Sometimes I think I live in a gap between two worlds, one world that I have to wake up to, be adherent of the rules and live in a place that is dictated by others. A place I sometimes feel the fear of aging and dying before I have figured out what it is I am here to do.

That other world is sweet, fresh and misty, inviting adventure into the unknown, melding ancient wisdom with new discovery; the sunlight turning into moonlight and the spell of eternal life is never broken.

Perhaps in that gap I should repair the forgotten bridge from one side to the other, but truth be told, I don't want to. I don't want to because I don't have the energy to fix what is broken within. I am a wild, wandering nomad, I belong everywhere and nowhere all at the same time, and in that gap between worlds, I am free.”

And also:

”Healing your wounds will hurt, so cry. Cry your pretty little heart out until you have nothing left to shed, that's how beauty is grown; through the darkest of our days we become the light.”

It's so good to have You in my heart, Dr Canapini!

21:39

This morning I managed to welcome anxiety but this feeling now, which is like a cry - I don't know how to embrace it. I can clearly feel all the muscles that are tightly holding it back but I can't let them loose. It's beyond my control. When I try to loosen up I just get very sleepy. But, by the time I'm done getting ready for bed, I won't be sleepy anymore. Even if I went directly to bed now, I wouldn't fall asleep. It bothers me that sleeping during the day is so easy and relaxing, while sleeping during the night is like an unpleasant obligation.

I feel lonely, again. And as always, I don't want to look for company. Well, because it's not so much the company as consolation that I need. Do You think I have abandoned myself? Now, I'm angry, because it's such a stupid idea! This whole concept of being emotionally self-sufficient: love yourself, hug yourself, console yourself... If this could work, no one would get depressed. It can only work as long as one is able to hypnotize oneself into believing that it works.

No, I did not abandon myself. I am right here, in this body, or simply I am this body and if there was a way I could abandon myself, I would gladly do it!

I found a way to distract myself from the sadness. I thought about the moment You were holding my hand... You have no idea how good it feels to think about that moment... And when I stopped and ”woke up” from my dream I couldn't believe that YOU really were holding MY hand. And now, I can use my vivid recollection of that moment to hold my hand with yours whenever I need.

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stacks-reviews · 7 years

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New Releases 9/26/17

Happy New Release Day!

In Books --An Enchantment of Ravens by Margaret Rogerson “Isobel is a portrait artist with some of her best customers being the sinister fair folk who crave mortal craft. Until the day Isobel paints the portrait of the royal autumn prince Rook. In his eyes she paints mortal sorrow making him appear weak. Rook spirits her away to stand trail for this crime in the autumnlands. They are stopped along the way by the Wild Hunt’s ghostly hounds, the influence of the Alder King, and countless monsters. Depending on each other to survive, Isobel and Rook start to fall in love. An even greater crime to the fair folk. The only way they might survive this new crime is for Isobel to drink from the Green Well that will transform her into a fair one. But at the cost of giving up her craft. Isobel can sacrifice her art or arm herself with paint and canvas against the fairy court. Because for the first time in all of their millennia, her art has the power to make them feel.”

I’m really interested in this book for a few reasons. The main thing being that Isobel won’t have to give up a big part of herself in order to save herself and Rook. Reading this description, her skills with her painting implies that it is a power. She might already have some fairy blood in her family’s history. Even if she is a regular human, her paintings could still be powerful and affect the fairies in a way they don’t expect.

It sounds like a good blend of adventure and art. I hope we get to read about Isobel creating a picture in more than just the beginning and the end. I want to see her art performed throughout or it might downplay it’s importance there at the end and what it means to her and who she is.

--Frau Faust Volume 1 by Kore Yamazaki “A century after a scholar made a deal with a devil in exchange for eternal life, the story of Faust has passed into legend. But the real Faust is not a stuffy professional man, but a woman, still on the run with her homunculus servant. When the magnetic, bespectacled woman passes through a provincial town, she adds a young orphan named Marion, looking for an escape, to her group. The next stop: A church basement, where a disembodied demon’s arm lies sealed away, and an officer of the Inquisition named Lorenzo waits to spring a trap for the blasphemer...”

From the author of The Ancient Magus’ Bride (only one more month until the anime premieres on Crunchyroll. I saw the first three episodes at the theater and it is beautiful) comes her new series Frau Faust. I am very excited for this because I adore Yamazaki’s work on AMB and I can’t wait to see more work by her.

--M.F.K. Book 1 by Nilah Magruder “A fantastic adventure following the story of Abbie, a deaf girl with a mysterious power, who is traveling across a vast desert to scatter her mother’s ashes. In a world of sleeping gods, a broken government, and a fragile peace held in the hands of the corrupt, one youth must find the strength to stand up against evil and save humanity. This story is not about that youth. It’s about Abbie, who just wants to get to the mountain range called the Potter’s Spine and scatter her mother’s ashes. But the way is filled with sandstorms, wild beasts, and rogues that wield inhuman powers and prey on poor desert dwellers. When one of these rogues threatens the town where Abbie takes refuge, she must choose between running, or unleashing her own hidden power to meet danger head-on. Journeys are hard on the social recluses of the world.”I really like the cover to this graphic novel. A young girl leads a giant bird (big enough to ride on) as they walk across a desert. I like the art style it was done in, which was the reason it caught my eye. The last line of the summary might be my favorite thing about it. I’m curious to see how she’ll fair as she crosses the desert.

--Princess Jellyfish Volume 6 by Akiko Higashimura “In order to save Amamizukan, the girls decide to put up an exhibition of their work. When the JellyFish dresses catch the eye of Asia’s greatest fashion influencer, Kai, it’s not only the dresses that the mogul wants - it’s the designer herself. Tsukimi and the gang are about to get the massive break they need, but at what price...? Afraid that he may lose Tsukimi, Kuranosuke must come to terms with what his true purpose for starting JellyFish once was. Meanwhile, Shu learns of the heartbreaking history of Kuranosuke’s mother, while Chieko’s mother makes a discovery that seals the fate of Amamizukan...”

I have fallen behind on this series by a few volumes but I aim to catch up. At some point anyway. I am glad to see that we’ll learn the mystery surrounding Kuranosuke’s mother and hopefully it’ll lead one step closer to Shu and Kuranosuke’s understanding each other. And to maybe being more brotherly toward each other. As of the last volume I read, that wasn’t going so well.

In Movies --Dance with Devils “Ritsuka Tachibana goes from a normal life to wrapped up in a demon’s game. After she is summoned to meet the mysterious boys of the student council, her life changes forever. Between dangerous hooded figures, demons, and vampires, a dark family past could lead to her doom!”

It’s a musical. A. Musical. An anime. Musical. Musical!

I watched this a few years back when it started streaming on Funimation. Story wise, it was pretty standard. It felt like I was watching a visual novel. Which that isn’t a bad thing. But I watched each week for the songs. There was one song per episode. The last episode or two might have had two each, I don’t remember for sure. I laughed every time because it would come out of nowhere.

I’d just watch it for the songs. I will be picking it up sometime because I liked it enough and I want to know what the dub is like. According to a friend, she thought the songs would be dubbed as well but I’m not sure. I never found a clip to confirm it and the episodes of the dub that are up on YouTube don’t have the songs in English. Though it is always a bit possible that they put the dubbed songs up on their paid membership and left it off YouTube.

--The Guardians (Zashchitniki) “During the Cold War, an organization called "Patriot" created a super-hero squad, which includes members of multiple soviet republics. For years, the heroes had to hide their identities, but in hard times they must show themselves again.”

This one is cheating a bit. It actually came out on 9/5/17. I only came across it by chance when I went to buy Wonder Woman last week. It’s the Russian superhero movie that people were talking about a bit a little while ago. It doesn’t have the greatest ratings but I don’t care. It looks pretty impressive. The story might end up not being the greatest but I still really want to try it out.

--Joker Game “Surpassing rigorous physical and mental training, eight Japanese men live as spies in the years before World War II. Whether they’re caught in clever mysterious or enduring torture, blowing their cover is not an option, and murder and suicide are out of the question. Inspired by real events in history, this is a recollection of their endeavors.”

I haven’t seen much of this series, about two episodes, but I do recall it being fairly popular during its season. I would like to continue it but I haven’t had the time.

--Kaiba “A boy with no name awakens with a hole through his chest, a strange marking on his belly, and no memories. The one link to his past is a locket containing a picture of a girl whose name he does not know. Within moments he meets Popo, who unlike the memoryless boy has a purpose. Through Popo, the boy learns that where he is a body without memory, in this world there are many who are only memories with no body. The rich harvest the choice bodies, leaving only the dregs for those down below. And yet even though he has no memories, there are many who seem to want his life. How does he fit into this world where not even memories might be real?”

At first I thought this series was fairly old based off the art style but it was actually made in 2008. I did find a trailer to it and it looks amazing and strange and beautiful.

--Mune: Guardian of the Moon “When a faun named Mune becomes the Guardian of the Moon, little did he had unprepared experience with the Moon and an accident that could put both the Moon and the Sun in danger, including a corrupt titan named Necross who wants the Sun for himself and placing the balance of night and day in great peril. Now with the help of a wax-child named Glim and the warrior, Sohone who also became the Sun Guardian, they go out on an exciting journey to get the Sun back and restore the Moon to their rightful place in the sky.”

I love the animation in this. It looks incredible.

--Transformers: The Last Knight I didn’t see this while it was in theaters. I don’t even remember if I saw the last one. I don’t remember hearing great about it. But I bet that someone is looking forward to this so mention it I will. And/or even if you just want to finish your collection.

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