#but dick is FUCKING PISSED

[crypt1dcorv1dae]

plotting, scheming even

#jason todd #gar logan #dc comics #teen titans #babysitting au #(i guess thats what i'll call it idk) #garjay #technically?? kinda??? like. theyre fake dating to piss off steve. and cus its funny #fanart #crypted creations #theyre trying to piss off bruce too but it doesnt work bc bruce actually likes gar lol #but dick is FUCKING PISSED #hes like no. how dare u. #dont u dare datd my baby brother. not allowed

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Ngl, I do love me a feral/enraged Dick Grayson <3

Credit to @honeysgalaxy for providing photos of the new panels

#gotham war #gotham war spoilers #batman 138 #batman #bruce wayne #dick grayson #nightwing #i make memes to help me cope #batman shitpost #batman shit post #yes just to clarify i do still like bruce #i just do NOT like this version of him #i also just think dick should be allowed to be pissed #and go fucking nuts #whenever he feels like it #didn't expect gotham war to give me that #a real monkey's paw of a situation

[starry-bi-sky]

i have been unmedicated for the entirety of spring break and thus have had little interest in writing this down, but i have been thinking about this for the entire week (as well as a dpdc clone danny au that resulted in it becoming its entirely separate batman au that includes a teenage vigilante bruce wayne, an ocarina, and me entirely incapable of making a batman au without making bruce dirt poor but we're not talking about that) and so i've finally went 'fuck it' and forcibly grabbed my laptop. I will get this done in one sitting even if it kills me.

BUT. This is about neither clone^2 danny nor about who i am calling Ocarina Batman. This is about my Danyal Al Ghul Au and more SPECIFICALLY it's me thinking about his relationship with Sam and Tucker specifically.

Tucker and Sam? Adore this asshole (affectionate) with every fiber of their being. And it is very much a reciprocated feeling, but Danny's thoughts will not be delved into much other than he would kill for them.

Tucker? The only person currently capable of getting a deep, loud, belly laugh out of Danny. Sam can get him to smile and to laugh, but it's the kind that's a chuckle-under-the-breath. The quiet, looks-down-while-huffing laughter. Snorts once with laughter and then grins stupidly.

But Tucker? Tucker can crack a slew of stupid jokes and Danny will be incapacitated for the next five minutes because he's laughing so hard that he can't breath. He lands one well-timed pun or quip and Danny will be close to tears. His laughter is their favorite sound in the whole world.

Sam is lowkey jealous of this ability, and she's gotten a belly laugh out of Danny a few times. But alas, it is Tucker who wields this power and has gotten it the most times out of the two of them.

-

They're also both physically affectionate with Danny as much as possible. It started roughly around when they were 12-ish, a year since they befriended Danny, and they noticed that he sought after touch but never seemed to initiate (and was in some ways repulsed by it). They started slowly being more touchy with him. Hooking a finger around his to lead him somewhere, tapping his wrist, looping arms. Little touches, grabs, etc, to get him used to it, and once he started doing it back they started increasing it.

It's gotten to a point where he will now just. Lay on them. Like a lizard sunbathing on a rock. Leaning on their backs when they're sitting in class before the bell rings, his chin on their heads. He'll talk about anything with his arms looped around their shoulders.

If they're sitting on a couch at either of their houses, he'll lay his legs on theirs. Him and Tucker will press their feet against the other's and try and push against them (newsflash: Danny always wins, Tucker claims its the ghost strength but Danny's been winning since before his accident)

-

Naturally, both Sam and Tucker know where Danny keeps his weapons on his person, and are allowed to grab them off of him if they need it. His only requirement is that they don't lose his weapons if they take it and forget to return it immediately.

They both understand how big of a thing this is from Danny, and so they do their best to treat his weapons with a lot of respect and care because they know its his way of saying he trusts them.

-

Sam and Tucker are so fond of Danny it's insane. Like fr. That's their goddamn best friend, and they are so protective of him. Emotionally, physically, you name it. They will tear the head off a grown man if they need to, Danny's had scars since he arrived in Amity Park and Sam and Tucker both are going to find the person who put them there and make them pay for it.

One time, Tucker overheard a bunch of upperclass girls speaking nastily about Danny and about the rumors surrounding him, calling him names like 'freak', 'monster', etc. Danny was with him and heard it, and seemingly appeared unbothered by it, even telling Tucker that he was used to such rumors.

Tucker was so furious that hacked into the school system later that night and tanked those girls grades. They were kicked out of their clubs and had to go to mandatory tutoring for the rest of the year. He made sure to leave some way of letting them know it was him who did it.

And Sam doesn't like using her money for things, doesn't like abusing that wealth. So instead, whenever her parents talk bad about Danny, she causes a media incident that has her parents scrambling to deal with. She does something wild, outrageous by her parents' standards.

She heard some boys on the basketball team making fun of Danny once, similar to those girls had. She kicks up a fuss about something eco-unfriendly at school and forcibly holds a protest on the same day of the big home basketball game, forcing them to cancel the event and reschedule to a visiting school.

She anonymously donates money so that there's new uniforms for the team but oops! Looks like she "forgot" to donate enough money for them to get uniforms for all the team members, and strangely enough those boys in particular didn't get them! Looks like they'll have to wait until more money gets donated for the basketball team to get their new, nice uniforms. The old ones look so ratty in comparison, right?

And since the football team gets most of the sport money, that might just take awhile. And if (and when) they kick up a fuss? oops! Off the basketball team you go, :) such unsportsman-like behavior is unfit for the team.

(The only good thing about how corrupt the school system is is that she can use it to her advantage too.)

The both of them know that Danny suspects them for the sudden misfortune falling on these people, but he doesn't call them out on it. He's kinder than he used to be, but not kind enough to vouch for people who speak badly of him. Sometimes, he might just congratulate them on not getting caught.

Because Danny is their wonderful, hurt friend with a "slightly" Blue and Orange Moral code, and enough scars that people have been calling him a criminal (and worse) since he arrived in Amity Park when he was ten. And they'll be damned if he gets hurt anymore.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc crossover #dpdc #danyal al ghul #its kinda hard to get my thoughts in order bc i am ✨unmedicated✨ rn BUT #this is the gist of it #i could wax poetic about how much sam and tucker adore danny as their friend but alas. the wax is not waxing. it is stuck to the paper #and i am chipping it off with my nail and its getting stuck under it. #ocarina batman has been in my head since friday someone come sedate me. him and pit fighter batman too. who is ALSO a piss poor teenage #bruce wayne who instead of a vigilante and villains is a PIT FIGHTER. he fights blindfolded thats why he's called the bat #ocarina batman's Look is if you combined punk + assassins creed aesthetic together and then gave it an ocarina #the ocarina is because i thought it'd be cool if its how he and robin communicated across long distances bc they didnt have comms #because they are ✨poor✨ and live in a one room apartment in crime alley. #and also the mental image of him sitting on. rooftop ledge in the rain playing 'song of storms' from LoZ was too fantastic to ignore #like bro imagine hearing that as a criminal. you're off doing shady shit with your gang and in the distance you hear the faint and #haunting melody of an ocarina. two of them in a call and response duet. and its getting closer. and you cannot find where #siren type shit fr fr #look he has the assassins creed hood and a long ass coat that has spikes on the end that when flared out looks like the silhouette of a bat #on fucking GOD i am this 👌 close to finding an artist doing commissions to make this for me. i am frothing at the mouth #he is 17-19 years old with his little brother-son Robin. Logically Robin is Dick but in my heart of hearts the first Robin is Jason #and he has perfected the art of getting his older brother to play songs on the pan flute for him. long pitchy whine on his own ocarina #the familiar childlike 'pleeeaaaaaaase?' and he knows he's won when there is a 10s silence on the other end before his brother plays #a lullaby. #look up 'sailor moon - pan flute (relaxing) on youtube' and when there's the thumbnail of two green skinned aliens with long blue and pink #hair. click on it. THAT is the song Bruce plays. #hhhhhhhhhhh frothing at the mouth over this au sooo fucking badly

[arrowmaker15]

(All 5 of the original Robins meeting thanks to the Flash family fucking with the timeless/multiverse again)

Jason (As Robin 2): Wait a fuckin' minute, I *die*!?

Tim (As Robin 3): Yes, that is correct.

Dick (As Robin 1): I'm still stuck on the fact that not only do I get fired, but four more Robins come after me. And that this eleven-year-old stalked both me and you for years!

Tim (R3): I'm 13, almost 14.

Steph (As Robin 4): I'm only around for a few months? Why?

Damian (As Robin 5): You initiated a protocol that Batman was meant to be around for without telling him. You then caused a gang war, Black Mask discovered your identity, he kidnapped you, tortured you, then assumedly killed you. Dr. Thompkins in actuality faked your death and after a while you returned. Then you started dating Drake.

Tim (R3): Is that part really important to mention?

Jason (R2): Yes, now, how the hell do I die, Replacement?

Tim (R3): Joker beats you with a crowbar then blows you up in a warehouse in Ethiopia.

Jason (R2): And... And B doesn't kill him?

Damian (R5): No. But Grayson does.

Dick (R1): I what now!?

Steph (R4): Don't worry, the B-Man brings him back to life shortly after.

Jason (R2): He does fuckin' WHAT!!??

#incorrect quotes #dc comics #jason todd #incorrect dc quotes #stephanie brown #batfam incorrect quotes #tim drake #dick grayson #damian wayne #robin #robins 1 2 3 4 and 5 #all in one room #they got bored #so dumped information on each other from their respective time periods #none of them except Tim are coping well #that's mainly because Damian hasn't mentioned what happened to Tim's parents yet #Jason is pissed that Bruce didn't kill Joker #more so that he brought him back after Dick killed him #the fucking #flashfam #are fucking up the multiverse again

[not-a-matopoeia]

do you think that when people in the batfam send pictures of Dick to each other or in a group chat that are like:

"haha look at this Dick pic guys"

and then people respond in kind like they are not, in-fact, looking at a photo of Dick Grayson, but like an actual dickpic and pretend to be all grossed out by it

#because if I knew someone named Dick I'd do that #we would not be friends for long but it would be a great time #listen-as an oldest sibling #and someone who has few only sibling friends #this just seemes like a think that siblings would do #just to piss someone off slightly #because its fucking funny #and you (most of the time) love them so its fine #steph brown #dick grayson #timothy drake #batfam #bruce wayne #damian wayne #batman #dc comics #jason todd #cassandra cain #duke thomas

[dazednmatthews]

i’m so genuinely dead fucking serious when i say this picture is my roman empire and i think about it at least six times a day

#cherriespeaks #this is one of those pictures that makes me speechless #you ever see someone so fine it just PISS you off?? #yeah that’s this for me #i literally need him so carnally #like i have never needed a man this bad like fuck #whatever he wants like i’m so serious WHATEVER HE WANTS #i cannot believe i’m not getting the dick everyday #like i will go to WAR for it #mind you that’s my man #oh god i’m going to LOSE IT #the dead eyes are probably the sexiest thing about him #dead eyed matt for the WIN #matthew sturniolo the man that you are #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #he’s a face grabber for sure #somebody sedate me #don’t even fucking get me started on the hair #like i can’t i CANT #y’all i’m going insane like the dead eyes get me every time

[qcomicsy]

Do I find Damian incredible annoying? Yes Will I fight every single motherfucker who resumes his entire character to violent and 'bad'? Also Yes.

#I don't know how many times I'm going to repeat myself but this is a goddamn child soldier getting repeatedly traumatize #in a family that has so many chaos that he always feels the need to prove himself in the terms he was taught #i didn't give a fuck what Damian does thats the responsibility of his father until he actually becomes responsible to his actions #and dc comics literally bought him out of nowhere just to shit on him and then repeatedly try to get rid of him for no fucking reason #Damian goin off as a way of getting Batman emotional damage it's actually very stupid dc you tried the same shit with jason in this last #ten years and not even then anybody liked #few things makes me more unreasonable piss off than batman letting his kids get away from him and then act like they don't need him #he did te same shit with dick but at least dick had the titans #this whole shit with Damian is making me read with my eyes while my hands are dialing the cps #Batman come get your fucking children your useless middle age man #bruce hate hours #damian wayne #damian al ghul #damian al ghul wayne

[achaotichuman]

Feyre- "I left you because you suck, and Rhysand's dick is bigger than yours."

Tamlin - *Laughs in shapeshifted Rhysand's dick to be bigger because it was the size of his thumb."

Lucien- *Laughs in told every single person on the face of the planet and that's why Rhysand insists on keeping all his friends strictly in Velaris so they don't hear the gossip.*

#one day and one day soon #rhysand will piss tamlin off enough #that tamlin will just go fuck it #and shift his dick back to its regular size #then feyre will shift it to be bigger again #and tamlin will shift it back #this will then happen repeatedly #while rhysand is getting angrier and angrier #lucien is laughing in the distance #acotar #pro tamlin #tamlin #lucien vanserra #pro lucien vanserra #feyre archeron #acotar meme #rhysand #acotar headcanons #acotar au

[tchaikovskaya]

I think there’s some acceptable middle ground between violently policing the behaviors of others in public that pose no true harm to anyone but the person doing them and dismissing concerns about overtly antisocial behavior as “pearl clutching” actually

#can u believe humans are hard wired to link perceived behavior of others to their own emotional reactions as social creatures? crazy 🤪 #anyway don’t fucking smoke crack on public transit and don’t take ur dick out and piss at a bus stop #hating those behaviors is not the same as hating the homeless or poor people jfc #it’s okay to show open contempt for that!!!! that’s not just a ‘mind ur own business’ situation

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

OK so now I'm thinking about birthday's

And everyone in this fandom seems to know the 16th birthday from hell and I'm gonna touch on it

Growing up, I had pretty shitty parents. I know I haven't talked too much about it, but my father was the king of fucking up my birthday and whatever, and would never get me a gift like this man was incapable of practically, remembering my birthday.

But I want you to think about that for a moment Bruce Wayne, who, for all intensive purposes, was a father figure to Tim went out of his way to psychologically torture that poor child on his birthday, and it is like never brought up again like the angst potential of the entire family finding out is astronomical.

But also, do you know how fucked up it is to feel on your birthday the day that is supposed to be about you your father literally going out of his way to fuck it up. That's not something you forget that is a vivid memory. 

That shapes you for all of your life never mind the fact that time travel is a big thing in the DC universe. That was a perfectly tailored way to destroy Tim Drake and I mean I talk a lot of shit about Bruce Wayne but I almost feel like that's worse than a lot of shit he's done in my personal experience some shit sticks with you my most traumatic memories are not actually physically abusive in nature it's the psychological shit that fucks with you.

So RIP Tim Drake and his emotional well-being because every bit of paranoia, every bit of his personality, his lack of trust all can stem back to the 16th birthday from hell.

I love when we can literally dig to the cause and the cause of every contingency Tim Drake has ever fucking written. Is Bruce motherfucking Wayne.

I can never not stop hating on Canon Bruce Wayne I don't care if we have him, hugging Tim in one comic

That man is a piece of shit and I will stand by that statement 

#tim drake #batfamily #16th birthday from hell #fuck Bruce Wayne #bad parent Bruce Wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #bruce wayne #batfam #I will be writing a piece about the bat family finding out about that and being righteously pissed off because I am righteously pissed off #bamf tim drake #alfred pennyworth #also another example of Alfred pennyworth being a enabler from hell

[mooseonahunt]

Hope everyone who reposts art without permission or credit gets hit by a car. That’s all. See y’all in a week.

#I’m just so fucking pissed rn #and it’s truly such a dick move #is it that hard to ask? #is it that hard to respect someone’s boundaries? #I get if a kid does it and doesn’t understand online etiquette just yet but like #a whole ass adult who refuses to be respectful? #go fuck yourself #moose posting

[c0rv1dco]

Day 139 of drawing ponk until hes added to the qsmp

@routeriver @bdaycheesecake @snails-are-made-of-jelly @evren-sadwrn

Full under cut

#ponk #ponk fanart #c!ponk #c!ponk fanart #c!eret #c!fundy #c!eret fanart #c!fundy fanart #fundy is a bitchass mother fucker he pissed on my wife thats right he lulled his furry trans air-dick out and pissed on mt fucking wife #fundy #eret #dsmp #dsmp slasher #corcoart

[milkshakeworm]

michael jones the man that you are

#hooooooly fucking shit piss balls fuck shit piss dick fuck fuck good heavens #greate heavens!!!! #michael jones

[anaskunk]

LETS GO JUST FOUND OUT HENRY KISSINGER DIED ON MY BIRTHDAY

LIKE I KNEW HE WAS DEAD I DIDNT KNOW HE DIED ON MY BIRTHDAY

#rest in piss #henry kissinger #henry kissinger my ass #best birthday present ever #old ass bitch #raisin looking bitch #he deserved it #he looks like the guy from up #but uglier and a war criminal #flabby looking bitch #ugly af #ancient #fossil looking bitch #old ass #fossils #paleontology #fuck you henry kissinger #go choke on a dick kissinger #i would tell you to kys if you weren’t already dead #flabby bitch #you had no business doing allat #motherfucking bitch #bitch looks like a fucking marshmallow #going balalalalalala #you look like a minecraft block

[westaysilly]

i love all my mutuals a lot !!!! except for @elizakai FUCK @elizakai PUBLIC EXECUTION for @elizakai

#I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT: ELIZAKAI'S A BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER #THEY PISSED ON MY FUCKING WIFE #THAT'S RIGHT #THEY TOOK THEIR ELIZAKAI FUCKING QUILLY DICK OUT #AND THEY PISSED ON MY FUCKING WIFE #AND THEY SAID THEIR DICK WAS “THIS BIG” #AND I SAID “THAT'S DIGUSTING” #SO I'M MAKING A CALLOUT POST ON MY TUMBLR.COM: ELIZAKAI THE ARTIST #YOU GOT A SMALL DICK #IT'S THE SIZE OF THIS WALNUT EXCEPT WAY SMALLER #AND GUESS WHAT? HERE'S WHAT MY DONG LOOKS LIKE #THAT'S RIGHT BABY #ALL POINTS NO QUILLS NO PILLOWS #LOOK AT THAT IT LOOKS LIKE TWO BALLS AND A BONG #THEY FUCKED MY WIFE SO GUESS WHAT #I'M GOING TO FUCK THE EARTH #THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET! MY SUPER LASER PISS #EXCEPT I'M NOT GOING TO PISS ON THE EARTH #I'M GOING TO GO HIGHER I'M PISSING ON THE MOON #HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT

[junespriince]

Dick, writing: how the hell you spell show-fer?

Wally, reading: Chauffeur, C-h-a-u-f-f-e-u-r.

Dick, offended: OoooOO *in a southern accent, even tho Wally is midwestern* Fancy pants rich McGee over here!

Dick, flipped him off: fuck you.

Wally, gasp dramatically:

Dick, walking away: spelling bee ass...

Kyle, gasp, hand on chest: You're cheating on me!? With him!!

#birdflash #dick grayson #wally west #kyle rayner #Kyle: I thought i was the only person who piss you off #Kyle: I thought we had something special... #Wally: how the fuck do you people get in my house!? #Wally can't win