#but i guess i just care more about idk.. other women?
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My complete thoughts on TMA through 93-200
MAG Thoughts on ep 93-200
THERE'S A CAT
John's hand still hurts from the cult of the flame
There's also a missing calliope. I think thats how you spell it
The institute is a death trap.
Both John and Elias are vessels of “The Eye” and can make people spill their guts Gertrude was also one up until Elias killeClayr. So that's fun
GORGEY MIGHT KNOW/BE A PART OF ANOTHR GOD?!?!?!
LAST WORDS OF A CORPSE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN GORGEY?
Gorgeys not ok
Nor is Marten
I quite like the new girl shes funny
Is anyone in mag alive lol
Well idk John why does Elias do anything.
IT'S THE THING GIRL DOLL PLASTIC THING OMG
(I have no idea what i was trying to type here^)
Tim and Marten are not okay especially marten
Spooky doll thing changed her mind apparently
And Michael (the spooky one) use,d to be an assistant of Gertrude funnnn
Ep 100 time baby :3) No one in the institute knows how to interviewnoople except John and I'm pretty sure that's because of “the eye”
The spself-cannibalismThe spiders are weird
Why is this woman so calm about a ghost woman who's on fire burning her (poor marten he's very confused)
Tim is speaking to a maniac
Melanie (I think it's her) is speaking to a man who keeps getting side tracked
THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU GOT OUT OF THE SPIRAL AND WENT TO DINNER
The poor detective
SPOOKY MAN NAMED PETER JUST APPEARED FROM NO WERE AND I THINK HE'S FROM THE UNKNOWN?!??
SPOOKY DOLL WOMEN!
THE COFFINS BACK
“Sarah wanted to use nails but I talked her out of it because I'm a good friend!” YOUR A MANNEQUIN (I love that line so much lol)
Oh wax love that
Mmm skin
Don't skin John please
ARE YOU GOING TO MOISTURIZED JOHN AND THEN SKIN HIM?
MICHAEL HOLY SHIT HE'S BACK
oh he's going to kill John
Revenge?
Oh
Oh dear he doesn't want to be Michael
MICHAEL BECAME THE DELUSION
Oh he's making a statement
MICHAEL SHELY
Oh god Gertrude
Unrelated but my cat has decided to try and kill me
PETER LUCAS IS ALSO THERE
Oh god Michael Shelley is very dumb
Only just know getting scared? What the fuck
Doors. fun
I can't even spell whatever that is
THE SPIRAL
Of course she didn't care
Just don't trust Gertrud
The Worker of clay?
His laugh is silly
Oh oh dear
Oh dear the doors not working
OH JESUS
HELEN
MICHAEL BECAME HELEN
HELENS GOING TO HELP?
HELENS THE DISTORTION NOW
So I guess the distortion only wants what that person wanted
Why does Elias just agree with the person who's trying to kill him
I think this man has bugs in his skin
He does
John can suddenly read French and then can't
I LOVE MARTIN
Melanie keeps trying to kill people
(People being Elias)
Pig episode (like actual pigs not the police)
Oh the pig no no like you sir
Oh god I guess this pig is a weird thing
THE CIRCUS?
Oh god not more circuses
Oh dear I think the pig has decided to eat clowns now
Oh self cannibalism
Whelp the pig ate someone
Loud sound
The eyes doing it's thing
JOHN DOING THE THING WITH THE EYE
Tim keeps scaring people
Tims not ok
OMG TIM STATEMENT
Tims brother went missing
I don't think it's Tim's brother
Whelp he's gone
Oh clowns know
OH DEAR CLOWNS
I don't think that's your brother Tim
Oh blood
Oh dead clown
Oh no more skin .
Oh famous clown
Tim and Elias drama
Oh we're in China
Oh creepy opening
I wonder. Is this in Chinese? I know that the eye can allow you to read other languages in order to obtain more knowledge. Even if you never spoke that language or were able to read it you just suddenly are able to.
Oh screams
Nevermind I'm pretty sure it's in English cause it seems the person writing it is a British soldier
Does he have the black plague?
OH DEAD BODYS IN THE WATER
Oh-
This is a sad man
“True and total war”
GOD DAMMIT NO CIRCUS
HE CAN READ MANDARIN AND AND CHINESE NOW (cause of the eye)
IT WAS FROM 2004 NOT 2014
Oh the proper one's are in America
Space station time
I wonder if this is the same space station as the one Gertrude read
I think she kept talking about it in one of the statements well more specifically the guy who it is from
We love Melanie (even though she keeps trying to kill Elias but she has a good reason)
FAIRCHILD IS BACK
IT IS THE SAME SPACESHIP BUT JUST A DIFFERENT GUY
Because the one Gertrude read was the isolation guy. This is about the other two people who were on the ship
Oh god the space weird space hands are back I think
Oh blood
Oh he's bleeding
Oh god he's just going to let himself die
Old screaming things
Don't envy the isolation guy he had a really shit time
Whelp now he's in limbo space
OH SOMETHING'S BLOCKING THE STARS
Oh deep thoughts
Melanie is thinking deep
She's skeptical of stuff
Oh dear
IS HE STUCK IN SPACE
Viscera I think is how to pronounce her name?
MARTIN HAS A CRUSH ON JOHN?
Viscera and Melanie are gossiping and I'm here for it
Oh performance review
OH GOD ELIAS
JESUS CHRIST ELIAS STOP LEAVE POOR MELIAINE ALONE
WHAT DID HE DIE OF
WHY DID YOU GIVE HER THE KNOWLEDGE OF HIM DYING
THAT'S TERRIFYING
He can just make her watch her dad's death!
I want texas toast I'm going to go make some
JOHNS IN AMERICA
Whelp he's being followed by a police officer
And Jared's “death”
GERTRUD WAS ARRESTED FOR BREAKING INTO A MORGUE
He just has to read statements to make him feel better
A screaming oven lovely
OH THERE'S A FIRE
OH A TRAINS ON FIRE
What do you mean you'd burn them?
John is better!
OH SHIT IT'S THE POLICE
WHAT IS THAT ACCENT
OH MY GOD ITS THE VAMPIRE HUNTER
YIPPEE MARTIN
I fucking hate Shakespeare
Lovely more masks
Poor Tim
And Melanie
AWW
OH SHIT
SOMETHINGS HAPPENING
PETER LUCAS IS BACK
Lucas seams so silly
Viscera gets really excited about her reading and I love that about her
Mmm more statements
I'm pretty sure John just asked for a statement because he was starting to feel sick lol
MORE VAMPIRES (I think) YIPPEE
His accent is kinda hard to understand
BODYS IN BOX
Spoopy people
Love how she calls the vampire hunter old man
Oh bodys on table
Silent screamers
OH WATER
Staby stab
Oh she killed him
OH SPOOKY THING
HAHAH DOLL THING (why is his voice kinda-)
More Marten :3
This girl sounds like an asshole
THIS PERSONS TRANS TDZSDHUGDZ
That is a long ass name
“Spiders are eating” PFF
Oh don't walk into people's jaws
Mmm Japanese spider movies
YOU HAD TO TRY AND CONVINCE YOURSELF HE ONLY HAD TWO ARMS
Oh spoopy
Oh they found A Way to distract Elias
A leitner?
JARED
Jared is cool
Jared's mom was an ass
Hmmm more things to kill and torture everyone
I keep forgetting meat is in this
Jared is so sad
MURDER
YIPPEE VISCERA
We're back in America and they found a bomb and the taxidermy or what's left of it
John and Tim drama
YIPPEE TIM A JOHN ARE OK
Oh tunnels
Bomb time
The meats back
LITENER
No more arm
And now he's in the water
PFFF
HELEN
Aww
YIPPEE SPOOPY
Meeting timeee
Gurtrud tape time
Wolfgang?
Puppets?
I think this is from a older time in europe because of the writing and how it is worded
DON'T GO
Mmm more robotic things
OH GOD A STAGE
Mmm birbs
BLOOD
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CURL YOUR LEGS INTO A FIST
Funsies
Oh he's being protective of martennnnn
PLANS
SECRET PLANSSS
JOHN STATEMENT HDHJDGKDVJHK
Awww john
ITS LIGHTENERS
Melines to relatable
MELANIE STATEMENT
MARTIN NFSUSSTUDIY
TIMM
Aww goodbye Jarey
mmm masquerade
MARTIN!!
“sorry Elias I can't hear you there's a DOOR in the way” I love marten
Hehehe bomb
Oh god marten don't die
OH GOD THAT'S NOT WAX WORK
MARTIN NO
ELIAS FUCK YOU
Uh oh
SILLY MUSIC
WHAT'S HAPPENING
Mmm nothing is everything and everything is something
God what is happening
EYE THINGGGG
TIMMM
TIM SET OFF THE BOOM
Oh
What the fuck is this
He's not responseuve
Oh eye always watching
ELIAS STATEMENT?
(I'm listening to this for a second time)
Hehehe sad man
Oh
Oh dear
THE ELBOWS DON'T WORK
The sky?
Oh
OH
Ma ma that's not edible
I don't want the box to sing
NOT THE COFFIN
Oh tunnel
Hmmm blood
TRAIN TIME
Hmmm watching
WHERE'D SHE GO
Oh dig
DOOR
Ants?
Oh
He screams
Who are we watching?
MARTIN
What
ARE TIM AND DAISY DEAD?
Bye Eliasss
PFFFF
OH
Lucassss
YIPPEE PETER
NO TIM AND DAISY ARE DEAD
Season 4 babyyy
Oh
Poor marten
This is so sad
Oh
WHAT
WHAT DO YOU MORE GOODBYE
First actual episode of season 4 :3
Oh?
WHO IS THIS
WHAT
WHERE
YOU SAW JOHN IN A DREAM?
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU
Oh statement
He sees how people die funnn
“What am I?” I ask that often
Oh
OH
Ship into the middle of nowhereeeee
MEMENTO THING
Snakes?
Oh
Nevermind it's death
Why ya calm
Oh
Did you accidentally kill a bunch of people
Nope
YOU GOT A GUN?
YOU KILLED THE CAPTAIN!????
oh
OH GOD YOU KILLED EVERYONE
This is this Oliver guy
SPIDERS
Oh
That's funnn
Oh boy
Melanie (I think it's her)might have scared him off
Oh
OH
JOHNS AWAKE?
Zombieeee
I keep sending the homophobic vase because I can
oh no it was gorge
AND VISCERA
Magic tape?
JOHN!
HIII JOHN
oh
6 MONTHS
He's very confused and I can see why
Hehehe eye thing
Statement timeeee
YOU CUT SOMEBODY'S HANDS?
I think this dudes on something
Maybe
Idk any more everything is odd
YOUR BEING FOLLOWED MX STATEMENT PERSON
Oh
This person's a little silly
Awww I love John
Even though he keeps making have deep thoughts
THEY CAN'T FIND DAISY'S BODY?
Oh oh god marten are you okay buddy
Oh
Aww
He miss his boyfriend (I'm desperately waiting for them to get together)
W E B yippee
Oh god meline she's very traumatized
Oh
Oh that hurt
OH MY GOD THEY'RE GETTING ATTACKED BY THINGS
(Not at the moment)
I think everyone's losing it
HE JUST CALLED HIMSELF THE ARCHIVIST NOT “Johnathan Sims head archivist” JUST THE FUCKING ARCHIVEST
EVERYONE IS EITHER DEAD, PART OF SOMETHING, FUCKING LOOSING IT OR ALL THREE.
Real honestly
It's always weird MX statement person
Oh
Is the site sentient
OH DEAD
Is this a thing of the eye?
No it was the web
Oh he's a fish kabob
I can't tell if this is the buried, flesh or end
BAGPIPES
IT'S THE PIPER
it's the slaughter
Cause everyone slaughtered each other
Pfff
Eye thing
Mmm
OH GOD
126 is the distortion
Awwww
MARTEN
The recorder is silly
DOESeter
Idk if I liself-esteemt he still will
Of course he's worried about his boyfriend
ITS THE COFFEIN
OH
oh
OH MY GOD HE CAN DO STUFF
He had killed the thing
Lot of truck
DAISYS ALIVE BTW
We have bone Turner
SPACE PART 3
Oh god that sounded ow
YIPPEE
I can't really update during school
PFFF The eye is just my brain absorbeing things cause it's never anything useful
THE TAPE RECORDER IS JUST A SINGLE FOR KNOWLEDGE
GARRY
Garry reference
God damnit John stop being creepy to strangers
The computers are eating people again
SIMON FAIRCHILD
Mmmm cult's
MELINES GOING I GOUGE HER EYES OUT SO SHE CAN LEAVE THE EYE
oh god
Oh
WHAT HAPPENED TO DAISY JUST NOW?!?
I DIDN'T WANT HER TO DIE
Oop angey Martin
Oh dear
Peter Lucas is an asshole
Into the lonely
PFFF
LOVE THAT
John is so smart
THAT'S SOME OF THE GAYEST SHIT EVER
Oh god the eye opens
They gay
SEASON 5 BABY
Oh
PFFF
Aww
Stop being depressed
TF you mean I'm faceless
PFFF
Ah the not Sasha
Oh it pissed of John
“Ceaseless watcher turn your gaze on this wretched thing” HE SAID THE THING
Martens broken
They broke Marten
I think it the lonely
Oh
Oh god he's getting relatable
HE JUST KEEPS HATING THE CHAIRS 😭
“I am marten blackwood and I'm not alone anymore” HAD ME SOBBING
It's the bone man idk what his name is but I hate his voice
Helen just wants to have fun
Who the fuck is doctor David
I didn't realize they could get any gayer
THEY ACTUALLY FELT TIRED AND HUNGRY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN LIKE FUCK IF I KNOW
AND THAT FREAKY PIRATE AND WEB WOMEN ARE THERE
(They also just like feel asleep lol)
Doctor doe Jane is silly
Silly
HIII Helen!!!
“You've always said you were Helen!”
“I am! I also ate her… it's really simple if you don't think about it”
THEY SAID I LOVE YOU
George and Melina are backkkk
And Meline fucking slays
The gays are arguing
DOSE ANNABELLE OWN THE TAPES?!?!
Christ that is scary
“Shocker, I have self esteem issues. Not the point” I am Martin
This is adorable and sad
1 MORE EPISODE
Oh
Oh god John
Oh he's pleading
Oh
OH MY GOD
HOLY SHIT
SHIT
OH
OH DEAR
IS JON OK
Oh
That's scary
Statement
This doesn't sound like a tape
Oh god
He's going to die
I'm going to cry
He's going to kill him
I'm actually going to start crying
Oh god
Simon?
Oh
#hello tumblr#i love my dead gay son#:3#the magnus archives#tma podcast#tma#the magnus archives podcast#i love marten (i relate to him a little to much)#i love the magnus archives#paper says stuff
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angry at the oscars barbie nominations but in an annoyinger way (i think nominating ryan reynolds makes sense but the best picture and best supporting actress noms are ridiculous)
#sorry but the more i think about it the more i really dislike the movie#ken was funny! he was silly and campy! i really did not care for the rest of the movie!#i just think the more you examine its take on feminism the more it falls apart!#it's inherently about a product! it's inherently personifying a product and making you feel sympathy for and relate to a product!#they are generating hype and engendering sympathy for something they are trying to sell you!#regurgitating second wave feminism without nuance doesn't make it groundbreaking it makes it like. fine i guess?#verilybitchie has a great video that put a lot of my feelings about it into words#idk it did not resonate with me at all and also made me kind of annoyed with how it contributed to the ongoing trend#of gendering things that aren't gendered and focusing on a segregation of gendered perspectives#tired of i'm just a girl! tired of girl dinner! tired of men are always thinking about the roman empire!#sure there are experiences more common to and relevant to women but i get so uncomfy with those kinds of generalizations#even when they're just jokes because after they get repeated enough they stop sounding like ones#just like. when you try to examine it in terms of any kind of intersectionality it falls apart#and i know it's not that serious but like come on. they literally do not once touch on any kind of intersectionality.#you can't be like 'it's a groundbreaking feminist movie!' because they said 'women struggle with misogyny' in 2023#like i know it's barbie but i don't understand why there's this impulse to say that that's something that's never been said before#just because the president is black doesn't mean you've acknowledged like. racism at all.#just because you have two fat barbies with like four lines doesn't mean you've said anything meaningful about body image#and when you take an openly lesbian actress and give her short hair and make her strange and then have all the other characters#essentially socially exile her and still think she's weird after the resolution!!!#i would say that's like!! implicitly a pretty weird way to write gay people!#i don't want to rain on anyone's parade! it's silly! it's not that serious! i just also think it's not that good!#it's fine! it's fun! but i DO think ken is the best part of the barbie movie and for that i apologize
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I'm going to struggle to sleep and get up tomorrow
Curse it all
#miranda talking shit#At one hand i liked the conversation i had with fabian and i think i got some answers to questions ive been wondering about but im also lik#Unpacking all this.... So much to unpacking and to be put in a folder in my head where does it all go... Still hate how#He hit me with the biggest ... Maybe in the universe and i can't deal with it. No I'd be relieved and accept an no fullstop but he had to#Add in the.... Idk actually lol i dont have a reference and i would like to know how it is crossing boundaries in our relationship#Whag the fuck man.... You really gave me the strongest 'i think youre into me and it worries me' and then nullify it with an 'idk how i#Feel sometimes id like to explore more' how am i supposed to... Handle that information... I had been going around telling myself#What he said to me 2019 is the way he still feels and me thinking he might think more is just me being paranoid but then yeah#What a clusterfuck. I mean to me it wont change anything in the broader picture no matter what i care for him ya know? But now thats... An#Whole other thing like. Should i try to act differently? Be more careful? Or would that be unfair bc then id do what he've been doing to me#I will quote him again 'miranda i think if both of us got an gf/bf at the same time this would solve itself' i joked and said he could find#Me one and I'll find one for him. But yeah i think that would ... Be a solution in an ideal world. Idk how to do anything man#At one hand i think he's overestimating how much he's on my mind but also its true. I spend a lot of my social time with him so obviously#I think about him? But i also have a reference on how i am... With people i have crushes on and who im in love with and how o think of thoe#Its just so scary to think about how i am his reference ... To... Well basically a ton of things... Im not a good reference unless you want#An abnormal reference. I guess im anxious I'll somehow ... Ruin him or something. This was a big conformation that i am his reference to#Women and close relationships with women and i am not made for that... Most feminine tjing about me is being sappy and giving compliments#And encouragement. Otherwise im basically like ... A dude. Guess it also scares me that he knows me. I know i know him but the fact its#Mutual is aw man... Being known is still a struggle. He wasmt completely wrong is his logic bc he knows me i think too much about people#And things. I understand im so anxious bc i care about him and im worried about losing him or pushinh him away but shit#Hes sleeping rn and is at peace with this probably. He doesn't dwell on it. He even said hes been thinking about this... Bc he began to#Think about what i could be thinking? So its not even his own thoughts but thoughts about whaf i could be thinking? ?? Whack and im likebro#Flattering that you go to that length but also... Literally what??? Cant tell if hes somehow projecting or if this is genuinely how he was#Thinking but damn. Boy does have some confidence at least? He's such an fool. I love him but holy shit he blows me away sometimes
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https://picrew.me/image_maker/140200
I made a picrew of Louise & Alex being mad at each other bc let’s face it, despite her being one of his oldest friends, he is constantly incensed by her behaviour lmao
#don't get me wrong he cares about her as a friend but like. I don't think he could spend more than a week at a time w/ her asdgh#probably mostly bc she does what she wants even if it's completely against all logic#and she requires a lot of babysitting despite being just 1 year younger than Alex lol#thank fuck the men + women were kept separate at the hospital bc I think he would have killed her GLKGDFKLF#but yeah they were allowed to mix outside if they were deemed safe enough to do so#i just made the sudden realisation that Alex preferred to hang around with women instead of other men??#like when i think of the other NPCs I have/had who were friends of Alex's in the hospital#They were mainly all women???#Lmao I don't blame him though women are way less threatening kldgkgdf#Also idk I guess it makes sense bc he would only get to talk to them sometimes when they were allowed?#So I guess he would usually see his male friends back inside#ACTUALLY now I'm getting way too deep into headcanons but also now that I think about it he was mostly abused by men growing up#So I can see why he'd naturally gravitate towards women#Also bc he obviously chose to spend as much time w/ Serenity as he could n she'd always have her female around her lol#Pretty sure they all like... just decided as a group to adopt him lmao !! :')#Also maybe bc during that time he was one of the only men there who didn't dismiss them for female hysteria or like .. doing sex work lol#It's still wild to me that women were locked up and deemed mentally unstable for doing sex work klglgkfgf#LIKE OH SORRY I HAVE ROCKIN TIDDIES???? GUESS I'M MAD LMFAO !!!#Sorry ma'am u have female disease therefore u will lose ur rights !!!#yOUR HUSBAND SAYS YOU'RE CRAZY AND HAVE IRREGULAR PERIODS SO SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR FAMILY LMAO#Ngl Alex was way ahead of his time in regards to accepting sex workers#Like don't get me wrong he would NEVER go to one LMAO#But they were his friends and probably some of the nicest people he's met so!!!#Louise just happens to get on his nerves for various other reasons kglfdklgfd#Like being fucking ANNOYING !!!!!!
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Mmm... I think Aloy Horizon Zero Dawn kinda disappoints me as a protagonist because I can definitely feel the ways the story went out of its way to minimise her relationship with her gender. Aloy is someone who imho would be a more resonant character if the game better explored her feelings about being outcast and excluded from her tribe AND about being excluded from societal femininity. Something I don't imagine she would simply wish to be included in either - it's complicated. But the absence of this conflict in the narrative to me feels like an oversight that can basically only be explained by trying to keep a female protagonist otherwise as comfortable for male devs/players as possible, and not letting gender influence her priorities in a way that would make them clash with those of male players.
And I think it's fair if the writers/devs didn't feel capable of tackling this. And this is of course happening in an environment of executives that are wary of funding games with female protagonists to start with and an environment of gamers who are incredibly sexist and like to complain when a fictional women is too martially competent or has vellus hair.
But, yeah... mmm... idk? I suppose this is also me disbelieving the egalitarian quality of the worldbuilding? It's not that women are less martially capable than men or unable to meaningfully hunt and fight. It's that this is a world where people are under constant threat of death via killer robots and exposure, and any group of people who regularly take on the task of leaving camp to hunt will suffer casualties. And losing too many people with wombs (who are disproportionately if not exclusively women) is uh... extremely bad for the survival of a population in a way losing people without them isn't.
So, yeah, realistically there should be fewer women hunters in this verse. And it's not a problem that Aloy - who is already an outcast and has been written off by the tribe and needed to learn to live in the wilds - is totally bamf at archery and climbing and taking down robots and bandits. Just, yeah, like... I think if anything this should be more of a mixed blessing and another thing that separates her from social conformity. And it's almost strange to feel the game lean out of this interpretation rather than into it when they have Aloy otherwise struggle against being accepted as an outcast with her own people and as an outlander with ppl of other tribes.
#i guess it's on my mind since i've also been talking about how much GoT the tv show altered the portrayal of Arya-Brienne-Cat from the books#so that male viewers wouldn't need to be bothered empathising with a young widow frustrated by & terrified for her reckless teenage son#or empathising with arya and brienne's about not fitting in with other women they care for and resent and admire#idk this game also definitely took a raceblind approach rather than critical race theory approach#(which i think is a bit more valid in a post-apocalyptic society operating on a tribal level and accompanying xenophobia)#(rather than one operating on the level of imperialism and institutionalised white supremacy like ours)#(i think a more pertinent criticism of race in HZD is that phenomically distinct populations of white and black ppl should no longer exist)#but see- i feel like i have the vocabulary to criticise that#but if i say stop making gender-blind media and embrace critical gender theory i just sound like a terf#idk i know that radical feminism as a movement has never existed separate from racism/classism/transphobia#or existed separate from misandry/misogyny - hostility towards anyone amab and infantalism towards anyone afab you disagree with#but i am often extremely fucking sad we haven't managed to build a better version of it#status update
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how tf is nicki minaj 41 and doing all this
#15 year old school bully behavior 😭#i don't even keep up with all this stuff i just keep hearing about it and every 10 minutes there's something new she said#i'm sorry your career isn't going as well as it once did but being deeply misogynistic towards other women isn't gonna fix it#sorry nobody cared about your barbie song and liked the dua lipa one more i guess idk#has she even done anything these last years besides talking about how vaccines made her cousin get huge balls or whatever#god
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·.⌇ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. you’ve been one of sukuna’s many concubines for quite a while now. yet, you still cannot get rid of the jealousy in your system whenever he interacts with the other women in his harem.
wc. idk around 1 to 2k
tags. true form!sukuna x concubine!female reader. angst (hurt to comfort), fluff, suggestive at the end. heian era. you call sukuna ‘my lord’. reader gets called ‘brat, little girl’. size difference. no part2, don’t ask i beg. not beta read.
“get back here, brat,” sukuna raises his voice as he follows you. he isn’t one to care about others’ emotional outbursts, yet here he is, chasing you after you’ve poured out your heart to him.
you don’t know why you’re this upset. you do know, however, that it’s childish of you to walk away mid dinner. you should’ve just stayed seated and refuse to let the thoughts consume you.
now you’re speed walking down the hallways of the estate—your legs carrying you as fast as they can without actually making a run for it. your mind keeps replaying the ‘unsettling’ scene that caused you to flee.
you remember it vividly. the sound of sukuna’s low, amused chuckle. how intrigued it was because of something another concubine told him—how he stopped chewing to say something back to her. which he rarely does.
hell, you’ve never seen him laugh around his other concubines.
“i do not wish to talk to you right now, my lord,” you reply, voice raised so the distance wouldn’t make it a hassle for the king of curses to hear you. you know that feisty attitude of yours entertains sukuna to no end.
he raises an eyebrow once he’s heard your voice; how it’s dripping with envy and hurt. you’ve never reacted like that before—at least not in his presence. it made him want to figure out why and how.
though, he can easily guess the reasoning behind your sudden defiance.
“oh, that so?” sukuna hums. he’s lenient with you this time around. he could catch up to you in under a split second, but he decides to give you that sense of accomplishment first before completely destroying it. he walks after you slowly, your fast steps being the same tempo as his slow pace.
you don’t answer. you’re stubborn. you have no right to feel jealous. you are a fairly new concubine—only a couple months ago did you join sukuna’s harem. yet, the time spent with him was precious.
he treats you differently. everyone notices that. everyone tells you the same. you know he does by the way he lets you off the hook with most stuff you say and do.
you don’t know what you did to gain his favouritsm, but it’s addicting. his attention is addictive. real addictive.
you had sworn not to develop any unneccessary feelings for that ruthless sorcerer. but, with the way sukuna treated you so gently behind closed doors, it was impossible not to.
you eventually reach the doors to your chambers. you slide them open and wish to close them behind you, only for a big hand to halt those movements. you freeze in place and refuse to look up at the owner of that said hand.
“look up,” sukuna demands. his voice causes goosebumps to appear on your arms, but you still don't budge. he clicks his tongue. that’s your first warning. two more and your punishment will be carried out, “we can do this the hard way too if you want.”
you turn your head, your fingers curling around the material of your kimono. you really should not feel this way about a little interaction between sukuna and his other concubine. that is none of your concern. what he does with those other women is none of your concern.
and yet. . .
“i don't want to,” you retort. sukuna walks into your room with a sigh. each step he takes forwards, you take backwards. your back finally bumps against the wall next to your bed.
sukuna towers over you, his tall and big frame making you feel vulnerable. especially with the way those red eyes of his are staring down at you. he crosses all four of his arms before speaking.
“tell me what’s running through that head of yours,” sukuna inquires sternly. he isn’t playing around anymore, you can tell. you glance the other way—knowing that he will laugh at you the moment you tell him why you’re upset.
you have a feeling he knows the reason behind your tantrum anyway.
“it’s nothing of importance, my lord,” you shake your head and relax your tense shoulders to make you seem less upset. your words have some truth in them—you don’t think your feelings of envy hold any value to him.
sukuna sighs again. he’s trying his best not to be annoyed at you. you’re his favorite and he wishes not to sadden you any further. he steps forwards, one hand moving to cup the side of your face.
his rough fingers play with a string of your hair, “i’m not stupid, little girl. i don’t like it when my woman is in distress.”
your heart skips a beat. this is what confuses you—how he can go from stern to gentle and vice versa. it’s surprisingly unexpected, which makes you long for more. even if his behaviour is confusing.
you look up at sukuna. your eyes meet for the first time in a good couple minutes. the corner of sukuna’s lips curls up into a satisfied smirk. that’s one step closer to getting you to open up.
“now,” the king of curses lowers his head to your eye level, the proximity all the more nerve wracking. he holds your jaw super tightly out of the blue. it makes you whimper.
“spit it out.”
there it is. the duality of the man strikes once more. you swallow the spit that’s been building up in your mouth. you bite your bottom lip lightly, trying to gather and form the right words to explain yourself.
sukuna wouldn’t understand. he’s a cold-hearted man who doesn’t care about such ‘trivial’ matters. he’ll just call you stupid, pathetic or whatever other derogatory term.
you stop your thoughts for a moment.
“it’s really just a stupid thing,” you mutter. your fingers curl around sukuna’s wrist—the one hand he’s using to firmly hold your jaw. you take a deep breath in, “i did not like it when you, errr. . . when that woman talked to you at the dinner table.”
your voice is clearly dripping with jealousy. pure, pure jealousy. and for what? because he talked to his other concubine. you feel stupid. you thought you discarded your personal feelings for the sorcerer before you the moment you turned into one of his many women.
“that woman?” sukuna tilts his head, feigning ignorance. that little grin on his face tells you enough. he’s playing with you like some form of entertainment. well, technically you are.
he wants you to be specific. he’s forcing you to be by acting like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.
in all honesty, sukuna’s already forgotten what that woman had said to him. it wasn’t and still isn’t worth remembering. all he can recall is your adorable facial expression when you saw him interact like that with his other concubine.
that little frown on your face was priceless. it makes him want to keep teasing you.
“you know who i am talking about, my lord,” you huff, trying to look away, but get stopped by sukuna readjusting his grip on your jaw. he firmly yet gently taps your cheek once and you know what it means.
“attitude,” sukuna warns with a quick hiss. he can let you say whatever you want to him, but you also have some limits regarding which tone you use with him. you apologise quietly under your breath.
the king of curses nods in satisfaction before releasing the grip on your jaw. his large hand trails down to your neck, thumb rubbing up and down your throat, “so, my little girl is mad at me because i talked to another concubine of mine, huh?”
you nod mindlessly. sukuna can easily get you to comply with him—to obey his every word, simply with his actions. the terms of endearment he uses are the cherry on top. they slip off his tongue so easily with you.
“tsk tsk,” sukuna shakes his head. his hand is now on the back of your head, fingers tangled into your hair. he’s staring down at you with a smug expression. he knows he’s got you wrapped around his finger, “how childish of you.”
you knew that would be one of the things he’d say to you. what you didn’t expect is for him to go for a kiss right after. his lips land on yours firmly, and to no surprise, you instantly return the gesture.
your arms wrap around his neck—your chest pressing against his. sukuna wastes no time in picking you up and letting your legs encircle his waist. he’s not pulling away for air to breathe and you don’t either.
“you’re going to listen to me, yeah?” sukuna murmurs between passionate kisses. he’s holding onto you tightly with two arms, his free hands roaming over your body whilst he pins you against the wall.
when you whimper out a weak, high-pitched ‘yes, my lord’, he smirks against your mouth before turning to kiss your neck. he slightly bites the skin to make sure you’re paying attention to him.
“i don’t remember what that woman said,” sukuna continues, nearly out of breath because of the kisses he’s leaving all over you. he easily grabs both your wrists and pins them above your head on the wall, “i was too busy lookin’ at a much prettier concubine of mine.”
he pulls back a little so he can look you in the eyes. you’re panting and embarrassed by what he just said. one of his hands finds your face again, tracing the shape of your mouth.
“my favourite,” sukuna whispers whilst licking his lips. you can see it in his eyes: he’s silently planning out how he’s going to remind you of your place. your place as his favorite concubine.
he dips his head back down, aiming for the valley between your breasts. he closes his eyes before sucking on the surrounding flesh;
“guess i’ll be nice for once ‘nd show you just what it means to be my favorite so that you’ll never dare forget it again.”
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~ ~ ~
#you know now that I’m thinking about things more clearly I’ve got more questions than answers#the way you used to talk to me and the conversations we used to have were too elevated and practiced#I was into certain groups and things for years before I eventually got out of that stuff#so I know what it sounds like when someone’s been doing it for a while even if it’s been off and on#and I have to wonder then how many other girls did you do these things with?#how many girls did you say sweet nothings to and make them feel so special and desired just to eventually drop them like you dropped me?#how long exactly have you been doing this kind of shit?#it does kind of hurt to know just how special I’m not and start connecting these dots#it does sting to see that you seem to just be like every other man trying to get what you want without caring what happens to the women#you leave in your wake#and idk maybe that’s not fair of me and maybe you did care for them on some level just like you care for me on some level#I guess I just wish you’d been more honest with me from the very beginning#sometimes wish I’d never met you at all because look how you’ve ruined my life for so many months#now I just feel stuck and angry#you are a very good close friend so I don’t want to just cut you off completely#but at the same time I feel used and like you’ve lied to me this whole time and that’s fucked#so what am I supposed to do now? is it even worth bringing any of this up to you? or will you just lie to me some more?#personal
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look at me t.s.
Pairing | Thomas Shelby x Female reader
Summary | When Mrs. Shelby requests Tommy in the room with her for the birth of their first daughter everyone is shocked. Men aren't supposed to be in the room with their wives as they give birth, it's just not how it is supposed to be... well all men aren't Thomas Shelby.
Warnings | Mentions of childbirth, pain obviously she's literally giving birth, maybe ooc Tommy? idk. Reader is a little mean to her doctors but she's in pain cut her some slack. MDNI because I said so. Foul language.
Word Count | .06k
~This is loosely based off of the scene in Queen Charlotte when they won't let George into the room to see Charlotte. If you know what I'm talking about I love you~
All dialogue in italics is spoken in Romani.
"Mrs Shelby forgive me but husbands aren't usually in the room during the birth" The doctor spoke hesitantly as his eyes flicked nervously around the room.
Everyone seemed to speak hesitantly around her. I guess that was what you get when you become a Shelby. Everyone around you is constantly terrified to tell you no or disagree. It was like being royalty in a sort of fucked up way.
Polly Gray cut the doctor a look as she walked over to you and put a reassuring hand on your forehead.
"Polly please" you cried in pain "I need him here." Nothing from the old wive tales could compare to the pain you were feeling. You had been pushing for hours now with Polly at your side but nothing was working. Your daughter simply just would not budge. Polly had made the comment early on about her already showing traits from her father.
"I don't care what usually happens. If Tommy Shelby is not in this room in the next five minutes, I will personally end you." You spoke with a hiss pointing at the doctor.
You weren't usually this aggressive, but given the fact you were in pain and used to getting what you wanted all the time, the circumstances were different.
Polly sighed as she looked down at you and began to head out of the room.
"What's wrong, is she okay?" Tommy spoke immediately as Polly exited the doors of your room.
"She's requesting you Thomas" Polly spoke in Romani so as to not alert the other doctors of your request.
"She wants me in the room with her?" He spoke hesitantly as he looked towards the door.
Polly nodded and Tommy immediately started towards the door.
"I'm sorry Mr. Shelby but I cannot allow you to be in the room." The doctor outside of your door spoke as his eyes flicked down to the floor to avoid Tommy's sharp gaze.
"Tell me, doctor, do you like your job?" Tommy spoke with a raised brow as he waited for his response.
When he didn't reply Tommy bent down to reach his gaze "Hmm? I asked you a question doctor, do you like your job?"
"Yes. Yes I like my job" He murmured still avoiding the sharp blue eyes that were currently staring daggers at the man.
"Well if you intend on staying alive long enough to keep it, I suggest you move out of my way." Tommy stood up straight and tilted his head towards the door.
The doctor nodded and stepped aside, letting Tommy enter the room. "If I hear one more word from anyone about my presence in this room, I will have a peaky blinder on each and every one of your doorsteps first thing tomorrow morning" Tommy spoke before anyone could protest.
"Tommy" you gasped as you finally laid eyes on your husband. "I've been asking for you"
"I know, I know. But I'm here now eh? I'm here now." Tommy bent down to give your forehead a kiss as you winced.
"I cant do this Tommy" you cried "I want it to be over"
Tommy's heart broke at the sight of you. His wife. He wished he could just take all of your pain away and keep it for himself.
Tommy bent down to kneel at the side of your bed as he cradled your face in his hands.
"Look at me. Hey, Look at me, love." He spoke softly as you turned your head to gaze at him with teary eyes.
"You can do this. I know you can. You are the most headstrong women I know, and ill be damned if you give up now." You giggled at his lighthearted teasing and nodded.
"And you don't really have a choice love. This baby has got to come out in one way or another." He smirked at you as you rolled your eyes at your husband.
"Okay Mrs. Shelby its time to push" Your doctor spoke as Tommy placed a kiss on the hand he had ahold of and nodded at you.
"Let's meet our daughter Mrs. Shelby."
#thomas shelby#tommy shelby#peaky blinders#peaky blinder fanfic#cillian murphy x reader smut#cillian murphy#thomas shelby x reader#cillian murphy x reader#peaky blinder imagine
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Careful - Chapter Four
(Dad)Spencer Reid x (Mom)Fem!Reader
Chapter Four: Last Hope
It’s just a spark but it’s enough to keep me going.
Summary:
The entire axis of your world is shifting.
Spencer is not the man you left alone all those years ago, and you don't know how to react to him being such a perfect, caring father. You also don't know how to react to the potential that you could be killed by someone who has already gutted five other women.
Luckily, Spencer is there to protect you. Another thing you don't fully know how to react to - but somehow, you just go with it.
Dad!Spencer Reid x Mom!Fem!Reader. Exes to Lovers. (Slight) Fluff and Angst.
Word Count: 8,800
Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link | Series Masterlist
Detailed warnings and author's notes below.
Warnings: Again, basic warnings for a Criminal Minds episode - mentions of murder/killing, the reader character is the next target of a serial killer; mentions of the reader wearing a sexy Halloween costume (during a flashback); mentions of gender roles - the reader doesn’t raise Sebastian with strict gender roles (and Spencer appreciates this); mentions of the reader giving birth (not graphic descriptions); some emotional tension between Spencer and the reader; angst because Spencer is upset about missing out on so much of Sebastian’s life; passing mention of abortion; the reader is threatened (in a graphic way) and called whore in a derogatory manner by the UnSub; Spencer is also threatened in a very graphic way by the UnSub; specific threats of stabbing and rape (toward the reader); passing mention of poop (because come on, this is a little kid, and kids talk about their poop a lot); I believe that’s it for this chapter.
A/N: So, this chapter starts off with a flashback rather than ending with one, because flashbacks are important to how information is revealed to the audience, and I think it works here. Idk what else to say about this chapter - I think it's a nice transition into the climax. I hope you guys enjoy it!!
...
Halloween. It was always a time when Spencer thrived the most - and he thrived even more when spending it with you.
It was your second Halloween together as a couple, and Spencer loved that you enjoyed celebrating the holiday just as much as he did. You loved dressing up, you loved all of the spooky lore behind Halloween. And of course, you loved listening to all of the real life facts he had to tell you about Halloween’s history, and things like vampires, werewolves, zombies, and all of the Halloween traditions and how they evolved over time.
You didn’t think before that learning about the origins of Halloween could make it even more fun, but Spencer somehow made it into the most exciting educational documentary of your life.
This year, you had invited him to a house party that one of your work friends was hosting. It would be some light drinking, finger food, dancing to cheesy Halloween songs, and most likely sitting around and talking while roasting marshmallows around your friend’s backyard fire pit. It wouldn’t be anything big, but you expected it to be a really fun night.
You showed up to Spencer’s place wearing a straight off the rack, generic ‘sexy witch’ costume. It consisted of a very wide brimmed pointy hat, dark make-up, and a tight corset drawing attention to your curves, as well as a short tulle skirt, flared sleeves, and black fishnets and black boots to top off the look. He found you irresistible and almost wanted to stay at home. But he was looking forward to the party; he was excited to meet your friends and he knew that the occasion meant a lot to you.
He told you that he was planning on going as a young Ernest Hemmingway, and as much as you adored it, because it was a very Spencer thing to do - you knew that it was very unlikely that anybody else at the party would be able to identify his costume on sight, and that would probably disappoint him. He would be standing proudly, asking people to guess who he was, and they would come up blank because they weren’t in the same mindset as him.
So you advised him of this, and encouraged him to steer his costume in a different direction. (And Spencer - trusting any advice you gave, simply let you lead him.)
You took the late 1800s style clothing he had picked out for the occasion, and some of the makeup you had brought in your bag for potential touch-ups - and you convinced him to let you dress him up as a sexy vampire who had been turned in the late 1800s.
You did his makeup - with some dark eyeliner, that he winced at the entire time, some dark eyeshadow, and some red lipstick smudged around his mouth to appear as though it were blood he had just siphoned from his latest victim. And the entire time you worked, he came up with an elaborate name and backstory for his vampire character. You delighted in listening to him tell you all about Frederic Henry - named after a Hemmingway character. A man who was shot in the military and assumed dead, but who was saved in the trenches of World War I by a vampire’s bite, and then lived on.
You encouraged him to wear his shirt unbuttoned quite a bit, creating a deep V down to his chest that he wouldn’t have worn any other time. Thinking about his story, you even used the eyeliner to create the scar of a bullet wound on his chest, slightly hidden by his shirt - something to hint at Frederic’s tragic past.
(Both you and Spencer got way too into it, but you were having fun.)
You were running a bit late by the time you left Spencer’s apartment, but it was a casual house party, and you knew that nobody was going to call you out for being ‘late’.
You parked a few blocks away, not wanting to drive through the neighborhood with so many kids out and about on foot. It was still early in the evening, and many kids were still out, knocking on doors, getting their candy.
“They’re so cute, aren’t they?” You remarked as the two of you walked down the sidewalk, hand in hand with Spencer as you made your way toward the party among a sea of Trick or Treaters.
“Kids in costumes? Or just kids in general?” Spencer replied with a chuckle, trying to clarify what you had said.
(There was a hopeful edge in his voice, a daring longing in his eyes as he looked at the parents helping their children from house to house. Something deep inside of him that hoped the two of you could have your place here a few years from now.)
“Kids in general are cute.” You shrugged. “But kids in their little costumes are so much cuter.”
Spencer’s insides fluttered - seeing you light up with joy just talking about children, knowing that it might be in your future. Knowing that it might be a part of his future with you.
“If we had a baby, would you wanna dress him up for Halloween?” Spencer asked.
You wanted to fixate on the ‘if’ - to tell him that you thought it was something more certain in your future, with the way things were going. That you thought he would make an amazing father. That you wanted it to be a ‘when’.
Instead, you chose a different part of his statement to pick at.
“You sound awfully certain that our kid would be a boy.” You chuckled. “Please don’t tell me you’re one of those guys who would be disappointed by having a girl.”
That would be a dealbreaker for you. As amazing as Spencer was - he had to be just as good of a father to a daughter as he would be to a son in order to stay in the picture.
“Goodness, no.” Spencer replied, shaking his head.
He held back. He didn’t tell you that he had spent far too much time - hours on the plane rides back home, nights when he couldn’t sleep - thinking about his future with you. He imagined three kids. An oldest boy, and two girls, about a year or two apart each. A golden retriever, a house - he had even picked out which district he wanted to live in based on schools in the area and lowest crime rates.
He knew it was stupid, but he had already been squirreling away money for a downpayment on that house. When you were ready, he wanted to be able to give you everything you could ever ask for. He had way too much time to fantasize, and he didn’t want to admit that to you now.
“Just - it slipped out.” He chuckled. “I would be thrilled if we had a little girl. But - I pictured us having a boy.”
In his mind’s eye, his daughter was so much like you. And if that came to pass, then he would be the luckiest man on earth.
“You did?” You grinned at him, a distinct light in your eye.
Spencer found his chest untightening as he breathed in relief.
“Well, if he’s half as cute as you,” You said, moving a hand over to pinch one of his cheeks, which made him smile and let out a huff, half forming into a laugh. “Then I definitely wanna dress him up in a Halloween costume. Especially while he’s still little and cute and can’t argue about what I wanna dress him up as. Before he starts talking and wants to be that fuzzy guy from Star Wars.”
“You mean Chewbacca?” Spencer asked, wondering which one you were talking about.
“Yeah!” You said. “The big ugly one. The little teddy bear guys are cute, but the big one is kind of creepy.”
“We had an all-day Star Wars marathon, and you didn’t tell me that you thought Chewbacca was creepy?” Spencer chuckled, his mind now distancing from the subject of the two of you having kids.
“Yeah, because you were there to protect me!” You replied, your voice still filled with lightness and laughter. “And I didn’t even really realize it until after. I had this weird nightmare-”
“You had nightmares about Chewbacca?”
“One nightmare! It was only one!”
The subject of children was forgotten, then.
Your laughter echoed off into the night, and you didn’t think much of the conversation.
Spencer remarked on it as a precious memory - as a sign that his savings account was an insurance policy for his future, not a fool’s errand. After the break-up, he thought about it over and over - he wondered where he had gone so wrong, how he had lost you. If you had felt so secure in your future together - how had he lost you?
…
Spencer wasn’t sure how it was possible, but he was growing more and more love for Sebastian with each passing moment.
After he got off the phone with Derek, he went back into the house to be mobbed by Sebastian. Having the boy run into his arms with so much excitement - it made him feel more heroic than anything he had done with the BAU for the past years of his life. So often, when he carted off a killer to jail or when he saw a victim returned to the arms of their family, he couldn’t feel the relief or the calm that JJ or Gideon spoke of. He just felt so empty.
But having Sebastian hug him tight and ramble in his ear with excitement about all his plans for their afternoon - it made his chest swell with a grand importance that he had only gotten a taste of when he was with you. When he was making you happy. It felt like a moment that his whole life was leading up to.
You asked Spencer if it was okay for you to go back to your office and get some work done while he occupied Sebastian, and he could think of nothing he wanted more - except maybe for you to join him, and to spend some true quality time with him and his son. But he hoped that would come later. And this in itself was progress - you trusting him to play with Sebastian, to spend time alone with him while you got your work done.
Sebastian showed Spencer every single one of his toy dinosaurs, and they played with those for quite a while. They also had a tea party with some large bears and dolls present - and Spencer was delighted by the fact that you didn’t buy him gender specific toys. Knowing that this opened up different areas of play and imagination, and allowed for his development to be nurtured by gentleness and caring that young boys didn’t often get in a society so rigid about gender roles.
Spencer really couldn’t imagine a better boy. You had raised such a beautiful, smart son. Someone who was polite, so caring, and gentle.
Spencer was practically swollen with love, overwhelmed at getting to spend time with his son.
His heart felt as though it might burst out of his chest and he knew that he looked fitful, actively holding back overwhelmed tears while Sebastian poured the imaginary tea for each member sitting around the small plastic table and they clinked their tiny plastic cups together in a toast.
Then, Sebastian wanted to show Spencer a favorite movie of his. He rushed downstairs to put it on the TV, and as he was picking it out among the DVDs, he became distracted by something at the top of the shelf beside the TV.
“My Halloween basket!” Sebastian said, pointing to an orange basket at the top of the shelf - one that did appear as though it was for Halloween, with a jack-o-lantern’s face painted on the front of it.
“Mommy says treats are for after dinner. But… can we have one now?” The boy looked hopefully toward Spencer, knowing that he would be able to reach the basket and bring it down toward him.
Spencer didn’t want to undermine your rules. You had done so well raising Sebastian this far, so you were clearly doing everything right.
He crouched down to the boy’s level.
“We should go ask your Mommy if it’s okay to have one.” He told Sebastian, who nodded, and then ran off toward your office with that thunderous urgency in his steps.
He heard a distant ‘Mommy!’ - and a bang that could have been Sebastian’s version of a knock or him downright smacking the office door until it opened. But then he heard your voice murmuring and what must have been a frustrated sigh.
Spencer felt slightly bad that he had sent Sebastian to interrupt your work, especially over something so small. But he didn’t want to lose progress with you and have you reaming him out for giving your son sugar without your permission.
You soon came into the room and went straight for the candy bucket, lifting it off the shelf and bringing it down to Sebastian’s level so that he could choose one.
“I know it seems cruel. But I didn’t want him eating it all on Halloween and puking, so he’s allowed to have one a day, usually as a treat after dinner.” You explained, clearly wanted to lay out your reasoning for Spencer.
“No, no, it’s not cruel.” Spencer replied quickly. “It’s a good idea. Regulating his intake of sugar while not completely restricting it as something sacred or off-limits. It’s a good call.”
Sebastian picked out a small packet of M&Ms, and then you went to lift the bucket away, and he spoke up.
“Can I pick one for my friend Spencer, too?” He asked.
“Yeah, go ahead.” You nodded, and then you added on: “Spencer’s favorite is Snickers.”
Of course, Spencer was floored that you remembered this.
Sebastian picked out a mini Snickers and then excitedly thrust it in Spencer’s direction.
“Aw, thanks buddy!” Spencer said, eagerly taking it with a grin, even reaching out to give him a high five while he smiled up at Spencer in return.
(He was too busy looking at Sebastian with those stars in his eyes to notice the way you were watching the pair - watching all of your dreams unfold before you with an odd mixture of bitterness and affection swelling up inside of you.)
Sebastian moved on to picking out the movie and you went to walk out of the room again, seemingly to get back to work, but Spencer stopped you. Something else was on his mind.
“Y/N.” He called your name gently, and you turned back to him, your arms crossed stiffly.
He was just glad that you didn’t seem so angry at him using your name this time.
“Do - do you have any pictures of Sebastian in his Halloween costume?” He asked meekly, afraid that you would stamp out this request with more anger and defensiveness.
“Why?” You gaped, seeming very confused that he would even ask this.
“I - I just wanted to see.” Spencer replied.
‘Because I missed out on so much of him.’ He hesitated to say. ‘I know it’s impossible, but I want those years back.’
The deep sadness lingering in Spencer’s eyes caused your stomach to clench.
He had really changed. This wasn’t the same man who had been standing in the apartment that night. This wasn’t the same person who had been so callous and stubborn - the same person that you felt you needed to protect your unborn child from.
Maybe this was the man you had fallen in love with, somehow rescued from the clutches of that person you didn’t know who had mocked you while wearing Spencer’s face.
“Gimme a minute.” You told him. And then you leaned in close before you whispered something else. “And you should let him see you eat the Snickers, otherwise he’s gonna be insulted.”
Spencer smiled at this.
Sebastian waved him over then, and he asked which DVD Spencer would rather watch. Spencer ate the Snickers and thanked Sebastian for sharing his treats once again while the boy went through a very detailed explanation of the plot of the films so Spencer would have an informed choice. And then Spencer picked, and Sebastian moved to put the movie into the DVD player.
This was when you came back with a thick envelope filled with pictures and handed them over to Spencer.
“I had these printed a while ago.” You explained. “I was planning on making a scrapbook for my mom, for mother’s day. It’s… basically every important moment in Sebastian’s life.”
“That’s my baby picture!” Sebastian said excitedly, looking over at the pictures in Spencer’s lap. “That’s when I was a baby, after I was born. I was one day old. Mommy said that everyone used to be one day old at some point, but that just sounds weird!”
Spencer’s throat clenched up with tears, and this clashed with the laughter he experienced from Sebastian’s comments.
But as he looked through the pictures, he had a much harder time holding back his tears.
Seeing all of the pictures, all of those moments - it slowly broke him.
The first picture was one of Sebastian wrapped in a very clinical swaddling blanket when he was still so new and wrinkly, only hours after his birth. Spencer could imagine how small Sebastian would have been in his arms. The tiny little newborn sounds he would have made. Spencer wished that he could have held your hand through the birth, that he could have been there with both of you in the hospital during those first few days of his life.
Then, a picture of you holding Sebastian in his nursery when you had brought him home from the hospital - a photo that was most likely taken by your mom. You had such a big, bright smile on your face. You looked so perfect with him in your arms. You were such a good mother.
There were pictures of him when he was more alert - his big, curious eyes looking at the world for the first time; what appeared to be his first picnic out at the park when he was laying on his back on a soft blanket, taking in the world for the first time. Spencer could imagine how sweet his baby laughter would be - what it would have been like blowing raspberries on his soft belly and kissing you under the warm sun.
He continued flipping through the photos - another one of what must have been his first Halloween. He was dressed up as a chubby round Jack-o-Lantern with his little fist in his mouth, drooling around it while your mother held him for the picture.
And then - pictures of him walking experimentally while you held him by both of his hands; him sitting in front of a Christmas tree, opening an exciting Christmas toy that made him beam with a big smile.
Pictures of important memories all throughout his life, all the way up until recently. This past Halloween, he had dressed up as Luke Skywalker.
He liked Star Wars.
“Um, can I use your bathroom?” Spencer choked out.
He knew that he was crying very blatantly now.
His chest was caving in as all of it truly hit him - how much of his son’s life he had missed. He didn’t wait for you to direct him because he knew that he had passed the bathroom coming down the hall. He abandoned the photos in the middle of the coffee table, haste to escape.
Sebastian looked at him with sad eyes as he stormed out of the room.
“Why is my friend Spencer sad?” He asked in a small voice, looking up at you. “He doesn’t like my pictures?”
“No, honey, your pictures are beautiful.” You assured him, kneeling down by the table and gathering up the pictures. “It’s complicated…” You let out a huff, not knowing how to explain it to him. Not even knowing where to start. “It’s grown-up stuff, okay? Just - just watch your movie.”
You stacked the photos back into the envelope, and you hoped that Sebastian wouldn’t follow you as you raced down the hall toward Spencer. You weren’t surprised to find the bathroom door closed.
“Spence,” You called out his name as you knocked gently on the bathroom door.
That gutted him even more. Spence.
Another harsh reminder of the life he had lost.
“I’m sorry.” He called back, his voice audibly drenched in tears.
Your throat tightened up.
This began to shift your entire axis. The man you had left standing alone that night - you thought he was a man who would have never cared about your son. Someone who would have asked you to get an abortion or distanced himself from the pregnancy as much as possible.
But this man - this felt like the Spencer you knew, the one you fell in love with.
He cared so much.
This was someone who could fit into your life, someone who could help raise your son.
And tugging right at your heart, something you wanted to deny - this was a man you wanted to be your husband, as well as the father of your child.
“Spencer, please-”
Spencer opened the door then, and upon instinct, you drew back, wrapping your arms tightly around yourself. Unconsciously, you were protecting yourself.
“I’m sorry.” He apologized again. “Did I scare him? I didn’t mean to.” He asked, looking behind your shoulder as if waiting for Sebastian to appear.
There it was again - prioritizing your son above all else. Worry for him.
Something you wouldn’t have expected. Something that forced you to shift your whole perspective.
“He’s fine.” You told him. “He - he probably just wants you to watch the movie with him.” You said, entirely honest, motioning toward the living room - where the sound of Sebastian’s cartoon movie could be heard playing from the television.
“I’ll be out in a minute.” Spencer noted, reaching for some toilet paper to wipe his eyes with.
You squeezed your hands tighter around your arms, resisting the urge to reach out and touch him. You wanted to wipe those tears away yourself. Spencer’s keen eye went right to this movement, and you felt so caught.
“I should go start dinner.” You said, eager for an excuse to escape the situation.
You whisked down the hall before Spencer could say anything else, and before his mind could linger too much on it - on you - his phone rang again.
It was a number he didn’t recognize, but he had to guess that it was one of the phones from the local police station - someone from the team calling with an update about the case.
“Reid here.” He answered, deeply hoping that he didn’t sound too tearful over the phone.
“Do you like pretending, Doctor Reid?”
That certainly wasn’t a voice he recognized.
“Excuse me?” Spencer squeaked back, having no clue what this meant.
“Do you like playing house, Doctor Reid?”
The person on the other end posed a slightly different question. The voice was sharp and certain, completely devoid of genuine emotion. It caused a chill down Spencer’s spine, and he knew, somehow-
The UnSub had gotten a hold of his phone number, and felt the need to taunt him by getting in contact with him.
“Unlike you, I’m not playing.” Spencer growled in return, already having the profile in his pocket. “I don’t need to play house to fulfill some God complex. I fully intend to spend the rest of my life being there for my son, raising him. And as long as I am here, in this house, no harm will come to my son or the woman who raised him.”
“Hmm…” The man seemed entirely bored with Spencer’s words. “The woman who raised him. Such a funny way to talk about that whore you supposedly once loved. But she did such a good job raising the boy, didn’t she? Seems like she didn’t even need you in the picture, did she? Such a sweet little thing… anybody could just waltz right into that house, slit her throat and take him. He’s smart enough to do well on his own now.”
Spencer knew that it was a tactic intended to get to him, and he shouldn’t have let it emotionally affect him as much as it did - but fuck, it got to him.
“Don’t talk about her that way.” He growled into the phone. “Don’t talk about them, that way, I swear to god, I’ll-”
“You’ll do what, Doctor Reid?” The man cut him off, clearly mocking him. Clearly in disbelief that Spencer could ever truly be violent in response to his family being threatened.
Spencer choked on a breath, trying to compose himself.
“Now, now. Simmer now.” The man cooed, still mocking, entirely condescending. “And don’t you worry, Doctor. Every whore gets her time to be an angel. I’m sure that she’s going to look so beautiful when she’s moaning and writhing in pain while my knife plunges into her guts. Don’t worry, Daddy - I’ll treat her as gently as I can.”
Spencer sucked in a breath, preparing to yell at the man, but then - the line went dead with a sharp ‘click’. Spencer pulled back his phone and looked at the display - he memorized the number so that he could give it to Garcia later, and then, he called JJ.
“Reid, hey.”
She sounded worried.
Any rage pumping through him that the unknown man had triggered in him melted away, and he immediately wondered why JJ had taken on that sad, sullen tone.
Before he could ask, she spoke up again.
“We… were just wondering if we should call you.”
“What’s wrong?” He asked.
“The UnSub knows you’re in the house.” She announced, ripping the band-aid off all at once.
Spencer wondered again how this was possible. But he figured that it was better to exchange information and let the questions naturally arise than to ask the questions himself.
“Yeah, he just called me.” He told JJ. “Clearly with the intention to antagonize me.”
“Wait, hold on.” JJ sighed. In the police station, she walked into the conference room where the team was working and put her phone on speaker for the room before she spoke to Spencer again. “Tell them what you just told me.”
“Someone who I can only assume was the UnSub just called me.” Spencer explained. “It was very clear that he was trying to antagonize me. He - he seemed jealous that I’m here - that I’m trying to take his place as father in the household before he could get here.”
“What makes you say that?” Hotch asked.
“He claimed that I was ‘playing pretend’. He called me Daddy. He mocked my love for Y/N, and taunted me with the idea of him… potentially killing her.” Spencer found those last words particularly difficult to speak, but he knew that the team needed all the information at hand.
“Let me guess, he called you from a blocked number?” Prentiss wondered aloud.
“No, actually.” Spencer replied. “Do you have a pen? I can give you the number and you can have Garcia run it.”
“Fire away.” Prentiss replied.
“503-202-1052.” Spencer told her.
“I’ll call Garcia now.” She said - on the other end, getting up from the table to call Garcia on her cell.
“JJ said you guys have something too?” Spencer asked, still wondering what JJ had meant.
“The scumbag sent us a letter.” Morgan answered. “The envelope was full of pictures. A bunch of pictures of your girl and the kid from weeks back - them at the park, at restaurants, at the grocery store. He’s way farther ahead in his timeline than we thought he was.”
“Yeah, and there’s… something else.” Rossi sighed. “He also included pictures of you and JJ standing on the porch when you arrived at the house. And one of you coming back to the house later, by yourself. In one of them… he crossed your eyes out with a red marker. It’s clear that he sees you as competition. A clear threat to his fantasy.”
“But - how does he know that I’m Sebastian’s real father?” Spencer wondered aloud.
“Perhaps he only sees you as competition because you’re another male encroaching on his territory. Because you’ve spent prolonged time at the house, seemingly to protect her and the child.” Hotch theorized.
“No…” Spencer said, putting the pieces together in his. “On the call, he said: ‘Such a funny way to talk about that whore you supposedly once loved.’” Spencer repeated it perfectly from memory, feeling a pang in his chest at calling you a ‘whore’, even if it wasn’t his own wording. “It was like he knew that me and Y/N dated before and broke up. Like he knows that Sebastian is a result of our previous relationship.”
“That is… strange.” Rossi remarked. “Do you think that Y/N might have mentioned your relationship to a friend, or a neighbor? Maybe… she might have confided in somebody?”
“It’s possible.” Spencer sighed. “But since she’s moved here, she’s surrounded herself with women. A female babysitter, fellow moms as her friend group.” It was something he had noticed in the more recent photos of Sebastian. “Our UnSub is a man - I don’t see her divulging those types of things to him, even if she didn’t know he was a potential threat.”
“Well either way, he knows. And he’s pissed off.” Morgan sighed. “I mean, the wording of this letter… it makes sense why he seems so hostile toward Reid. It’s not just anger toward a random man who’s encroaching on his territory - it’s a personal rage towards someone he feels could actually ruin his chances with Y/N if he’s built up this fantasy of having her in his mind over these weeks.”
Morgan picked up the letter and read some lines from it. “‘I will stab him in the spine, paralyzing him and forcing him to watch as I rape that whore - I will take her as my own while he pleads for mercy. I will show him what happens when weak men abandon their obligations. If Daddy wants to play, I’ll play too.’”
“Is that really what he thinks?” Spencer huffed, unable to hold back his emotions. “That I abandoned my obligations? Does he really think that-?”
“Reid.” Hotch said firmly, cutting off Spencer’s ranting. “Stay calm. What we really need to ask ourselves now is: how does he know so much about you? How does he know so much about your past that even we didn’t know?”
He added this on - seemingly taking offense to the fact that most of the team didn’t know that Spencer had a serious girlfriend in the past. A relationship that had resulted in a child.
Just then, Emily came back into the room.
“Garcia said the phone number goes to a public library on the other side of town.” She announced.
“Morgan, you and Prentiss go to the library - see if anyone there saw the UnSub or if they have any potential security footage of him.” Hotch ordered.
“Reid, see if you can convince Y/N to come into protective custody.” Hotch added on, turning his attention to the man on the phone. “With the UnSub being further along in his timeline than we thought, and seemingly being provoked by your presence, we really need to protect her and her child. Stress that fact to her. We need to keep a close eye on her until we can find a viable suspect.”
“Yes, of course.” Spencer replied, before ending the call.
Spencer splashed some cold water on his face, truly trying to pull himself together before he exited the bathroom.
It truly hit him, then.
This day wasn’t about some soft, sappy reunion with you and his son. This day was about the fact that you had been targeted by a dangerous, deranged killer. And he needed to do everything in his power to protect you from that horrible man.
A fresh, vicious wave of determination went through him - if he had to tear out the man’s throat with his teeth, then he would. He wasn’t going to let even the tiniest amount of harm come to you or his boy. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.
He put on a smile, not wanting to potentially scare Sebastian with a frown or his trembling fear over what might happen. He tried his hardest to push all of it out of his mind for now as he walked down the hallway and back into the living room - where a musical cartoonish number was in full swing on the TV.
“You were in the bathroom for a long time!” Sebastian commented brightly. “Did you have to go poop?”
Spencer let out a laugh at this. This almost instantly lifted his mood - the fact that such a young kid didn’t have the sense of embarrassment or social constructs in order to know that it wasn’t really routine to ask someone what they had been doing in the bathroom. He easily found humor in Sebastian’s bluntness.
“Seb, what did we say about asking people about their poop?” You called out from the kitchen, clearly having heard the conversation.
(So this was a habit of his?)
“Sorry!” Sebastian called back. Sebastian then turned back to Spencer. “Your poop is only your business. Unless you have to tell the doctor about your poops.” He assured Spencer, clearly repeating something that his mother had told him.
Spencer nodded. “It’s all good, bud.” He said, smiling at Sebastian. “I’m gonna go talk to your mom, okay?”
“Are you gonna watch the movie with me?” Sebastian asked.
“I promise, I’ll watch whatever you want to later.” Spencer replied.
He made it a promise because he wanted to hold himself to it - he wanted to spend lots of days watching films with his son. And playing games, and teaching him things. He promised himself that there would be lots of time to do these things with Sebastian in the future because nobody would interrupt that for him.
But for now, he had to convince you to agree to protective custody so that the three of you could have the safety and security of a future together.
Sebastian seemed content with this answer and turned back to the TV, and Spencer ventured into the kitchen, where you were preparing dinner.
“Hey, Spence.” You greeted him gently. “I’m assuming that you’re staying for dinner? It’s nothing fancy, just some pasta with cream sauce, and chicken and broccoli.” You explained, gesturing around to the many items you had surrounding you - a pot of boiling water, and cutting boards with different vegetables, and one sequestered off in the corner with cut-up chicken pieces waiting to be put in a frying pan that was still heating up.
“Sounds good.” He easily agreed. “After dinner, we need to pack a bag for Sebastian, and you need to get some stuff together so that we can get you guys into protective custody.” He said, posing it more like a gentle suggestion than a question that you could say no to.
He truly hoped that he wouldn’t have to go into the graphic details as to why you needed the protection - why it was more urgent now. He hoped that he wouldn’t have to resort to telling you about the man who had threatened to go poking around in your insides with a knife while making him watch.
Not surprisingly, you completely ignored what Spencer said.
“Unless you prefer Turtle Mac n Cheese?” You said, instantly deflecting away from the topic, holding up a box of mac n cheese that had some cartoonish characters on it. They were green and looked vaguely like anthropomorphic turtles. Spencer guessed that this was what you were making for Sebastian’s dinner - most likely along with having him eat some broccoli, because you seemed determined for him to at least somewhat eat healthy. “I think that cartoon shapes really give it that extra gourmet flare.”
“Stop that.” Spencer demanded gently, taking the box out of your hands and placing it somewhere else on the counter. You frowned at him. “Stop acting like what’s happening isn’t a big deal. If you’re doing this because you’re frightened-”
“I’m not frightened.” You said, cutting him off. “I just don’t think that the FBI needs to be wasting resources on me when there’s people out there who are actually in danger. Or people who have dead loved ones who need answers.”
“Exactly.” Spencer pressed. He lowered his voice before he spoke his next words, though he knew it was unlikely that Sebastian would hear him over the movie playing on the TV.
“The man who sent you those flowers has already killed five other women.” He stressed, pointing behind you, toward the vase with the white carnations in it. He was surprised that you hadn’t thrown the flowers away after what he and JJ had told you. “Five women’s families are waiting for answers about who killed them. And you could be helping us-”
“I can’t help you, though.” You shrugged. “There are no men in my life. There’s nobody Spencer. There hasn’t been since I broke up with you.” You snapped, giving him a harsh glare - as though you resented him for ruining you, tainting your heart and leaving you broken.
The realization shattered him a bit more. All this time, he had been worried that you had moved on, that you were living a better life without him. But you had been just as lonely as he was - aside from the company of a small child that reminded you more and more of Spencer every single day.
Spencer took a breath, trying to focus.
“Just come into protection.” He pressed. “The FBI will take you to a safehouse, and-”
“A safehouse?” You scoffed. “How is that any safer than the house we’re currently standing in? Does it have bulletproof windows and a steel reinforced door? Or - or is it just a regular house with regular windows, and regular walls, and a regular door? Just like my house?” You chuckled sarcastically, moving to grab the cutting board with the chicken, shoving it into the now heated pan with the back of your knife.
Spencer’s nerves were grated on by your sarcasm.
“Dammit, Y/N!” He shouted, much louder than he intended to. “Can’t you see that I’m just trying to protect you?”
“Yeah, and where the hell was that attitude four years ago when I begged you to-” You swiftly cut yourself off, the words dying off in your throat, not wanting to rip open old wounds.
You tossed the items back onto the counter with a crash, only causing more tension in the air. You took in a sharp breath - suddenly, standing in front of the stove, you felt too hot.
You reached for the edge of your hoodie without thinking, and peeled it up over your head. You were wearing a thin camisole underneath, but surprisingly, your black bra being so visible through the thin white fabric wasn’t the thing that caught Spencer’s eyes as more and more of you was revealed.
There it was.
The four-pointed star necklace that he had given to you on your birthday was sitting in the middle of your chest, right where it belonged, glaring at Spencer, taunting him.
It became apparent to him in seconds that you had been wearing it all day. You had answered the door earlier that day wearing that pale blue hoodie, having no clue that Spencer would be on the other side. You had no reason to impress him, quite angered that he was even there in the first place, actually. So you had been wearing it under your hoodie since before then - since the beginning of the day, likely.
You had been holding it close to your chest as something precious - hiding it under your clothes as a secret, just for yourself.
If there was a single shred of doubt in Spencer’s mind that he had loved you more, that he had missed you more since the break-up, it was gone now. You hadn’t dated other men, and you had silently carried that symbol of him, as if unconsciously beaconing him back to you.
When you finally got the fabric off your head, you instantly noticed him gaped-jawed and staring at your chest. You wouldn’t have called him a pervert, because before you even glanced down to confirm that you had the necklace on - you knew. A terrible guilt struck through your gut, like you had been caught stealing something, and you froze up on the spot.
You and Spencer locked eyes for a moment, and his hands quivered with the terrible need to reach out and touch you - though in that moment, standing just across the kitchen from you, he felt a thousand miles away. He had a terrible need to hold you, yet he had never felt more distant from you. He had never felt more prohibited from touching you since the moment you had first grabbed his hand on that very first date.
How long had you wanted him back and said nothing? How many days had you woken up thinking about him, knowingly raised his son alone, and made no effort to contact him?
“I - I have to go change my clothes.” You said, your voice so utterly small. “Can you watch the stove?”
You didn’t wait for a reply before you turned and whisked off again, clearly too eager to escape the tension.
Spencer busied himself with watching over the food - stirring here and there, and starting the cartoon turtle mac and cheese based on its boxed instructions - trying desperately not to think about what all this meant.
When you came back, you were wearing a simple, light tee shirt. And it was easy to see that you had taken off the necklace and put it away somewhere.
…
Having Spencer there for dinner felt like role-playing as a family.
With Sebastian in his usual seat behind the dinosaur placemat, sitting between the two of you - it felt like something out of a strange, distant dream. He kept looking to Spencer for encouragement when he ate his broccoli and didn’t spill his juice, and Spencer stared at you across the table, having that constant fond look in his eye whenever he turned back to Sebastian or talked to him in that sweet, soothing voice.
Spencer also watched you, and tried to make it seem subtle. You noticed his eyes drifting over to your plate, ensuring that you were eating, as he had done many times before. You wanted to make another snarky comment about him pretending to care, but you kept your mouth shut.
It felt so shallow, and plastic, with the supposed threat hanging over your head; knowing that the only reason Spencer was there in the first place was because he believed that you were in danger.
Yet, it felt like something you had been doing all your life. It felt like just another night. Like Spencer had come home from work to this a thousand times; like you would get up and do the dishes and kiss him and then bring him to your bed for the night. It felt like that’s how things should be.
You really weren’t sure if you loved it or hated it.
You were nearly finished with your food and Spencer’s dinner was half-done, food getting cold on his plate while he encouraged Sebastian to finish up - when there was a knock on the door.
You expected it to be JJ again, pressing you about the protective custody thing. You let out a harsh sigh when Sebastian quickly wormed out of his chair and raced toward the door - eager to answer it himself.
“Seb!” You called after him. “What have I told you about answering the door when Mommy isn’t there?”
You raced after him and uncomfortably grabbed him up with a gut full of food, Spencer trailing behind you awkwardly.
“You’re here now!” Sebastian argued, laughter in his voice.
“Here, go with your-”
You abruptly cut yourself off, stopping yourself from saying ‘go with your dad’.
“Go back to the table with Spencer.” You told him, turning him around and directing him toward the man. You couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes, knowing that he could predict exactly what that verbal near-slip was. “I will answer the door.”
“Come on, bud.” Spencer encouraged him. “If you finish up all your dinner, we can have a treat later,”
He hated to promise something you hadn’t permissed, but he knew that you needed the distraction right now.
You unlocked the door and opened it, fully expecting JJ to be standing there patiently (likely having heard that entire exchange from behind the door). You were surprised when nobody was there, and instead, your eyes drifted downwards to a large brown envelope sitting on the step.
It didn’t seem to have any kind of shipping label on it - just your first name written on the front in bright red ink. It made you startlingly curious, at the same time, caused a tight knot to form in your gut. You picked it up, bringing it inside before you closed the door and locked it again.
You brought it back to the kitchen and placed it on the kitchen island, and of course, this caught Spencer’s attention where he could see you from his place at the table.
“Y/N, what is that?” He asked, unable to mask the frantic worry popping up in his voice.
“I don’t know.” You said, feeling slightly haunted by it yourself.
You moved to open the envelope, and before Spencer could stop you, something echoing in the back of his mind - chirps about potential poison or even a bomb - you had ripped it open and spilled the contents onto the counter.
Your insides quaked when you saw what it was.
Spencer rushed over to look at the items with you, and naturally, this drew Sebastian’s attention as well.
“What is it, Mommy?” He asked, marching over and trying to get a peek over the edge of the counter, but not yet tall enough to see - which you were thankful for.
“Did you finish all your dinner?” You asked, leaning over to look at him.
“I did!” He said proudly, nodding.
“Okay, then, why don’t you go into the pantry and pick a cookie?” You said, hoping that your sudden flood of worry and fear didn’t quake through your voice as you forced a smile for him.
“Okay!” He cheered brightly.
He ran off to the large cupboard beside the kitchen table, eager to pick between the varieties of cookies that you had there.
(Again, he was smart - but easily distracted. That you were thankful for.)
“Y/N-” Spencer gasped when he saw the items that had come out of the envelope.
“I don’t wanna hear it.” You said, your voice now quivering with tears you found yourself unable to hold back. “I don’t wanna hear about how you were right.”
You stared down at the items in horror.
It was several photos of you; very voyeuristic shots of you going about your daily life. Several of them including Sebastian when you had been doing perfectly innocent things - going shopping, playing at the park. Even pictures of the two of you playing in your own backyard. A view of you getting dressed through your bedroom window.
One of the photos - a photo of nothing more than the front door to your home - had a message scribbled across it in bright red marker.
‘Daddy misses you. Be home soon. xoxo’
“That’s not what I was going to say.” Spencer sighed.
He saw how horribly you were shaking - he saw the tears brimming your eyes. This time, he truly couldn’t help himself. He stepped around the counter, and upon instinct, he swept you into a tight hug.
Unconsciously, he caged you away from any potential danger with his arms around your shoulders - holding you like he would have when you had a nightmare or when you shied away from men you considered ‘creepy’ on the subway. Your arms wrapped tightly around his waist, your fingers digging into his back for comfort, clinging to him like you would have clung to a life raft at sea.
You broke into sobs, the sound muffled by his chest, and Spencer’s own heart stung - knowing that the true depth of the danger had finally hit you.
“It’s okay.” He told you. “It’s gonna be okay.”
He rubbed a flat palm across your back, hoping to comfort you in some way, even though he knew that the terror of the whole situation was mounting - and it was a horrible thing to face.
“Spencer-” You sobbed out, unsure what you even wanted to say.
“I’m going to make sure it’s okay.” He said firmly. “You know I won’t let anyone hurt you, right?”
It wasn’t even a question in your mind. The two of you had your problems back in the day, but you knew that Spencer would never let any harm come to you.
You clung tighter to him, savoring the moments while Sebastian was still distracted - likely sneaking more than the singular cookie you had allotted him to have, not that you cared in the slightest right now.
If there was anything else on your mind aside from the potentially crippling fear as the realization truly hit you, any room past the fact that you had been stalked and secretly surveilled by a murderer for weeks now; then you might have considered the fact that when you had woken up this morning, you never would have never thought that Spencer Reid, of all people, would be such a comforting touch to you.
Oh, how things change.
…
Spencer was hesitant to let you go from the hug.
But he had to call the team, because this was an important break in the case. And he had to see what kinds of arrangements they could make for you - if they could find a safehouse for you on such short notice, or if he would be taking you to the field office or the police station.
You cleaned the cookie crumbs off Sebastian and took him to the living room, trying to maintain some sense of calm while you turned on a random cartoon show on cable. He got out a puzzle and you helped him with it while Spencer stepped into the other room and dialed Morgan’s number.
“Hey, Reid.” Morgan greeted him. “How’s married life treating you?”
“Not funny.” Spencer replied, his voice short and frustrated. “The UnSub just delivered another package here. More photos. And a message. ‘Be home soon’. It’s pretty clear that he’s planning on making his move soon.”
“Woah.” Morgan replied. “Well, if Y/N didn’t want protective custody before, then I’m assuming that scared her into complying.”
“Yeah.” Reid agreed. “Where should I bring her?”
“Hold on.”
There were some voices clustered on the other end, and then, the next person to speak on the phone was Hotch.
“Reid… you’re not going to like what I have to say.”
“What is it?” Spencer prodded.
“Morgan and Prentiss got nothing at the library. So far, the only thing we’ve got on this UnSub is the fact that Y/N is likely his next victim, and he doesn’t seem eager to break pattern just because you’re in the house.”
Spencer didn’t like where this was going.
“You’re not insisting-?” He asked, and Hotch filled in the blank for him.
“Our only chance to catch him could be… catching him in the act. We could tie him to the other crimes if we catch him breaking into the house-”
“The house that my son is currently in.” Spencer huffed.
“We could bring the boy into protective custody. And leave Y/N there. We know that he never hurts the children, that’s not part of his MO.” Hotch offered meekly.
“But he gets some kind of catharsis from playing house.” Spencer replied. “If we move Sebastian, that might cause him to break pattern, and he could just move onto another victim.”
Then, something else occurred to Spencer.
“Also, we don’t know how he’s surveilling us.” He added on. “If he sees where we’re moving Sebastian, he might go after him.”
He considered that another woman - someone completely unsuspecting, someone unprepared, someone innocent with no way to defend herself - would be killed if Spencer made the wrong choice. It could be more than one woman if the UnSub got away and simply continued his patterns uninterrupted.
This was more controlled. The UnSub seemed determined to confront Spencer.
Spencer felt that was a confrontation he could win.
“We can have unmarked cars posted on every block. And the minute he breaches the house, you call it in. He won’t get anywhere near them.”
Spencer hated that it was their only choice.
“Okay.”
...
Keep reading here: Chapter Five - Brick By Boring Brick
#sundrop writes#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#spencer reid x reader#dad!spencer reid#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you
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Hi if requests are still open could I ask for nsfw headcanons for Erwin, Levi and Hange? Thanks so much in advance 😊🩵
Yaaaaay, veteran trio sure thing :)
Disclaimer: I use they/them pronouns for Hanji and since this request is NSFW in nature also AFAB language/terms will also be used for them. And Levi’s portion goes into the expected heavy shit about his childhood and Underground. ...Erwin’s I just... idk. Wrote with my dick I guess 🧍🏻♂️
Gender neutral reader (no pronouns used) with AFAB or AMAB anatomy depending on reader's choice since both options are lightly given. Hope that makes sense.
NSFW contents under the cut 😉
Erwin Smith
Dear Reader, I want you to look me directly in the eyes and try to tell me this man doesn't have a big dick - trick question you can't. The man is big all over. But he's very polite about it, not one to brag but it does bring a warm smile to his face to see your eyes practically pop out of your head the first time you're down on your knees, crouched down in front of the chair to his desk, mouth already watering as you quickly undo his belt and unzip him to be able to pull him out - only to go eyes owl wide when it nearly smacks you in the face. It takes a lot from him not to chuckle out when your hand goes to hesitantly wrap around it - only for you to flinch back when it twitches hello in your grasp, he finds it very cute actually.
Hairy chest. That's all. Actually no - hairy everything. It's great.
He is loud very loud - Erwin’s a loud man in general, kind of has to be when he's been in a military superior position for good portion of his life. But it didn't come up from that, no, Erwin’s always been loud when it comes to 'entertaining' lovers - even since he younger, if Erwin Smith is having sex everyone will know it, does not help he's a screamer (Nile and Mike have always teased him about it) but he sees no shame in it - just proof his lover(s) made him feel good and wears it like a badge of honor. And don't think he's alone in this, he will make damn well sure you're just as satisfied until your lungs go sore.
But if you are embarrassed of having people give you awkward looks afterwards, the solution is actually very simple: gag him. It could be with anything really; your underwear, your fingers, your hands around his thick neck, your hole/cock, get really creative with it :) And if you want yourself to not be heard, just tell him I'm sure he can think of some naughty ideas too.
Erwin has... complicated issues with relationships, both being Commander and focusing on attaining his dream he'd rather not be tied down to a serious relationship, but he has no issue with a friends with benefits type situation - stress relief. God does he need stress relief. However, if you are in a serious relationship with him then it's clear you're obviously very special to him - which also complicates things. For one I see him refusing to date a civilian so you have to be in the Survey Corps and fully understand what that means, to fully understand the 'delicate your hearts' oath and fully know damn well either of you could die at any time each time you step outside the Walls. Plus Erwin has a lot - and I mean a lot of enemies, you being someone someone so dear and close to him makes you a number one target and he knows that, he struggles with that, however it's a good motivator in a way; keeps him more focused and on guard, it makes him more careful, it makes him gather more and more blackmail on certain people if needed. That being said, the sex between you and him if you're dating - or hell married - is full blown romantic.
Don't get me wrong, he'll still blow your back out if you ask, but most of the times when you both find the time to sink to each other's touch it's with this air of gentleness Erwin has honestly never experienced with another partner, even Marie. You're... something special to him. Maybe it's because unlike past romantic interests - both men and women - you actually understand what's going on inside his head, you get how important his dreams are, you get his guilt, you actually know the... unspeakable wonder (beside all the titan killing fellow comrades thing) of what it's like outside the Walls. Freedom.
His kisses are so gentle yet grounded, he makes sure to kiss every inch of your body while muttering all sorts of praise and adoration with his lips pressed up against your skin so you can feel his words.
His big, thick fingers work open your hole/pump around your cock with steady rhythm as he takes you on his bed. He loves feeling your hands spring up and encourage his actions by messing up his normally perfect stylized hair and turning it into a complete blonde mess.
Loves hearing you, your voice sounds like absolute heaven to him if there is one and your voice crying out his name over and over and over and over and over again as he makes you come with nothing but his fingers/hand never fails to briefly send him there each time.
When he's inside you he can't help but feel overwhelmed, you're so warm and tight hugging your walls around him and if you're smaller than him he will never fail to tell you how seeing his cock not even able to completely enter all the way inside without the tip of his cock already pressed to deep that his head is rubbing at the deepest part it can go without you completely breaking entirely. If you're around the same size or maybe even a little bigger, then it's still the same, it brings a wide stupid grin on his face to look back as he has your legs tossed back and you're on your back you taking his prick all the way up to his base, balls resting comfortably against your ass. He feels ecstasy when he can start fucking deep into you.
When I said loud, I mean loud-loud. And if you're more than just an occasional fuck? Double that by like - twenty. He will vocalize each and every single thing he's feeling and is on his mind as he pounds into you. The headboard? Is banging against the wall so loud that Cadets two floors down in the Mess Hall can hear it and could mistake it for Wall Rose getting breached. It's an absolute miracle that shit hasn't split in two yet and especially with how one of Erwin’s hands clutches down onto it to keep himself grounded as he fucks you, moaning and groaning your name and all sorts of curses so loud that Levi’s viciously kicking the wall down the hall in his own office just as loud to tell you two to shut the fuck up but neither of you can hear it as you're so fucking lost in one another.
Call him Commander in bed. Do it. That twenty will turn into a hundred so fucking fast, not as fast as Erwin rearranges you to turn around - front facing the bedroom door - and straddling his hips with your back to him and your arms are held behind your back as he roughly bounces you on his lap. Everyone in this damn building and outside it will know what you're doing.
I mentioned his hairy chest? Yeah, well that adds a nice friction on your back and his chest is so plump you can lay back in them almost like pillows. Meaty, hairy, pillows. It's nice. They jiggle underneath you btw.
When he comes it's like a geyser going off inside you - literally. He'll fill you so full and your ears will practically ring from how loud he'll scream unless you quickly muffle his mouth up with your own or something, if not... well, everyone already knows what you've been doing at this point. If not? They certainly do now. But you try not to think about it, watching the flood of come pouring out of your when his cock slips out and staining both your and his thighs and the bedsheets.
Erwin acts practically drunk in the afterglow, his words are slurred and he has this wide toothy smile on his face you can't help but to kiss. This is the true stress relief. Here, his thoughts are the furthest from everything; the Walls, the titans, the Government, the Crown, the maybe-possible-if-his-father's-right people living outside the Walls... his dream... all of it. This is one few times he can completely distract himself away from all of it. He isn't Erwin Smith, Commander of the Survey Corps and accidental murder of his father - he's just... Erwin. And he's with you, just you - not Squad Leader (Name) (Surname). Just you, (Name). Nothing outside this very room matters, just laying in each other's arms and taking in the glow of being with one another. Knowing damn well you'll have to remember and face it all once you leave here.
But it's fine. He wouldn't be with you nor you would him if you didn't know that, if you didn't want to fight back against everything that be - if you didn't want Erwin’s dream to come true. And everyday, bit by bit you make further strides for that dream, together. You’ll reclaim Wall Maria, capture outside the Walls, beat the titans, learn the truth of what's to know about them. And see that thing mentioned in one of Erwin’s forbidden hidden books his father left... what was it again? Oh yeah, the sea. The ocean.
You two will see that together. You promised one another. No matter what.
Levi Ackerman
Right off the bat it should be stated: Levi has a complicated relationship with sex - it should be obvious, given how he grew up. Where he grew up. What his mother did for a living, and... he very much grew up aware of what she did. It's not just sex either, relationships, dating as a whole he's... complicated with.
Two things: Levi doesn't do causal flings, he doesn't do causal relationships. If he's with you in the first place it's because he loves you. If he didn't he wouldn't be with you and it's that simple, he's doesn't vocalize it much - he has... issues with words, serious, emotion-y words - but if you're with him at all romantically in the first place you already know him fluently enough to understand that. He doesn't have to say "I love you," very often - you already know he does, and when he actually does voice it, it's always at the absolute most vulnerable positions he can be to show you how much he genuinely means it.
Trust is important to him. Very important. He loves you, he wouldn't be with you if he didn't as we already established that. Sex? Completely different ball park. If he wants to he sexually active with you it is beyond trust with him. It's beyond just trusting his own life in your hands, it's beyond letting you handle his old knives, it's beyond trusting you enough to tell you horror stories of how he grew up, it's beyond telling you just how close Farlan and Isabel were to him that they were practically siblings to him, it's beyond telling you about Kenny and how for the longest time and still sometimes that it fucks him up to think... he knew his mother - doesn't know how, the bastard always refused to ever tell him, and then just one day for no fucking reason just... walked out. Walked out without a word or anything. Left him to barely survive down there on his own until Farlan and Isabel. How for years... he was convinced the bastard might be his father. Because what else could he be? Visiting and knowing his dead mother by name - her actual name - and picking Levi up and saving him when he was on the brink of starvation, if Kenny hadn't arrived when he did then... he might've very well been dead by the next day. It's just... or it was hard to think up any other possible explanation but this MP killing bastard being his dad. But now, he isn't sure - nowadays doesn't really care to find out, hell the bastard could be rotting in a ditch for all he cares. He's never told another soul that - just you. Between you and him there's something deeper than trust.
Now, I know a lot of other headcanons tend to make Levi out to be this super dom sexy sex sex man or whatever, but no. He has no fucking experience whatsoever, until he made this connection with you he absolutely refused to - always thinking about that sunk look in his mother's eyes after dealt with clients and how she'd fake the warmth in them to hide the hurt when Levi would be let back in the room by one of her lady 'work friends' and she'd talk to him so lovingly and sweetly... until she got another knock on the door and he'd have to leave again. That sunken look in her eyes immediately returning and even as a kid he'd want to attack the bastards he knew was the cause of her hurt. And that's how he seen sex for the longest time, didn't fucking help with all the degenerates pigs Underground. He can count on both hands and toes and it still not be enough how how many fucking pigs he's had to gut for staring at Isabel the wrong gross way - a child. Still makes him sick. All these years later. So he's stayed away from it. Fought against it, even up against the absolute worst the Underground had to offer.
However, the longest he'd had bad associations with it, but... with you it's different. You're different, different than a lot of people and that's because of the beyond trust thing. He can be different around you - not the smartass, foul mouthed, titan killing machine people know him as now, he can be... vulnerable, alone with you - and he wants to be. He really does, he loves you afterall and... he wants to give himself to you, completely, because that's how special you are but...
It's stupid, he tells himself - he's a grown man, he's in his late twenties right now, acting and beating himself up in such a childish way over a natural thing. What's wrong with him? But it's you to calm him down, telling him you don't have to do anything and that you're content just the way things are between the two of you now. That you didn't need to go further - ever if he wished, that you love him no matter what. But the thing is... he wants to. There's just this - this mental block he can't seem to get across, no matter how hard he tried. Humanity's strongest? Or whatever it is they're calling him now? Scared of what? He scolds himself. Losing his virginity? The two of you share a bed together to sleep in - this shouldn't - shouldn't - shit. But... you look at him. The two of you sit together on the bed and you look up/down/straight forward at him (depending on your height) and he just... feels at ease, he remembers why he loves and beyond trusts you in the first place, that everything's fine, everything will be fine as he puts a hand to your cheek, rubbing his thumb over your bottom lip as he gives a steady nod and melts his lips with yours.
That being all said, yeah, Levi’s a virgin. He doesn't really have all that much idea of what he's doing, just goes by his gut and will rely on you to actively tell him what to do, what you want, and how you want it. But Levi - being the prodigy in every new skill he learns, doesn't take long for things to start clicking together in place. Half in hour and your virgin lover you'd think was actually a sex deity in human form - things just... click for him in that odd way it does for him learning new things (weird fucking Ackerman genes in work in real time, actually)
Insane head-game. Think he mouth I'd just good for crass insults and shit jokes? Nope, but honestly that should be expected. After the first few experimental pokes and licks around, enough to get a good idea of how to get you going, will his mouth latch onto and kiss, bite, and suck around the opening to your wet hole then stuck fucking his tongue deep inside and thrusting in all the sweet places/or mark fondle your balls with his mouth before working up your shaft kissing your head before absolutely deepthroating and going to town on you - no gag reflex, shocker. He loves the way you taste and can go on and on and make you come again, and again, and again, and again repeatedly until you loose your mind or voice. Or both.
Want to play with his insecurities? Not maliciously of course, but in universe I think Levi’s thought of as """"""""ugly"""""" and if that's the case you can imagine what types of disgusting shit people has called/said to him. He doesn't mind or care, especially these days as he's older but... call him handsome, or gorgeous and Levi’s a really pale guy, even if he's been above ground a couple years he's still wasn't born a 'sun-walker' so when he blushes it practically dyes his entire face and goes all the way up to his ears. It's cute. Even more cute when he growls, frowns, and scowls as he tries to hide it and distract you by suddenly entering you - which breaks the facade almost immediately as he goes wide eyed and nearly out of breath as he feels you around him. You overwhelm him, he burries himself in your neck not to let himself bottom out. His chest rocks with each breath and he's quick to litter your neck and collar in bites.
Hope you like it here, virgin or not with that Ackerman stamina you're going to be here awhile as he absolutely rocks your world. For hours and hours on end until the both of you are drenched in sweat and the wall has a crack in it from the bed moving.
Very quiet - nearly silent actually except for the occasional gritted curse and heavy breathing. But the longer you go on the more comfortable he actually gets making noise; moans, grunts, and punched out intakes of your name.
He'll fuck you until your legs go numb, wrapped around his hips and encouraging every thrust he gives you and you'll come over and over until you're light headed, bit with him there seems to be no end in sight as he onyx colored hair swoops down and dances with each and every single one of his movements as he looks down almost dazed at you.
Tell him out loud you love him and he'll come on spot.
Silvery grays practically roll back inside of his head when he hits his release and he'll be louder than anything he's been all night before finally his body gives out and collapses on top of you. Wide pleased smile on his face that's for no one inside these entire damn Walls or below ground to see - accept for you. It's only for you. This all is only for you.
After falling unconscious for about forty seconds Levi wakes back up with his normal expected demeanor, this time he just lies there in your arms and presses himself lazily in your neck. When he speaks it's slightly muffled, but it's fine. You ask him if he had a good time - which he tells you is a stupid question and should be obvious, getting a light laugh out of you as you go to comb through his sweaty hair.
He makes it very clear later that this isn't a regular thing, a once maybe a month type thing until... he gets a better understanding with it. "Shit takes time, you know." And you agree, telling him to take all the time he needs which he just lies there for another lingering moments before pushing himself up and pushing his lips to your own.
A bath sounds good now.
Hanji Zoë
Doesn't really have that much experience, WAY too invested in their work to really have had the time. But! That doesn't mean they're not ready and willing to learn - very opposite in fact, honestly. They are absolutely over the MOON when you come out and say you want to fuck them! They get so excited that they rush off into whatever direction of the nearest library to learn and come up with ideas of what to do with you that they sort of leave you there behind in dust 😅 but not to worry, Moblit's there (somewhat very embarrassed to walk in on this exchange) but he promises you that your Squad Leader means well they're just... you know, eccentric.
Books on sexuality and other ""taboo"" stuff of that nature are looked down upon in the higher society of the Walls, but they're not that hard to find if you know where to look, and luckily Hanji knows where a bunch of them are - in fact they know a lot of libraries have them in a 'secret' section - but pulling a few strings and hinting at knowing about a married librarian's affair with a nurse down the street Hanji is able to gather a bunch of books to bring back to Headquarters! They spend all next and the next few days looking over them, reading them cover to cover - only having to explain to Nanaba once who came to visit their office and curiously had picked up one, only to immediately set it back down when seeing the one of the crude sexual diagrams drawn inside before immediately excusing herself.
So, with all this learning and newly attained precious knowledge and a bit of self discovery, turns out Hanji Zoë is a kinky mother fucker. They excitedly jot down all sorts of things that catch their interest, said list turns several pages long that when shown and told about your eyes nearly bug out of your head. Your face turns scorched hot as you tell your lover that maybe best for now just to... narrow it down to three things, then the both of you could talk and work up to it.
And that's where it stays for a couple of weeks, nothing really happens and things go on as normal, until one day when you're at the Superiors table in the Mess Hall as Erwin draws on and on about Banquet plans - AKA 'entertaining' and kissing ass to the nobles and the Brass to beg for funding for the next expedition outside Wall Maria - to you, Levi, Nanaba, and Mike, until suddenly Hanji comes springing down the hall and grabs your arm and pulls you completely off the bench seat to where you fall on your ass.
"Sorry-important-titan-research-matters-need-to-borrow-(Name)-bye!" And they drag you off, your ass still on the floor. Leaving everyone else at that table speechless.
You're about to scold your lover the moment you get inside the door, now at your feet, and your just about to until Hanji pushes you back against the wood in a feverish kiss that leaves you breathless. When they pull away they have a wide shit eating grin on their face. Okay. You're much calmer now. You let yourself be dragged across the small office and shoved onto the bed tucked in the corner - Hanji gives you a wink and excitedly goes for a couple boxes at their desk, handing them to you for you to open.
Rope. A... harness looking thing that looks like... underwear? With an odd hoop in the middle. And... a large phallic shaped object that makes your eyes go shot wide. Okay, you tell yourself. This must be their three.
"Two actually," They correct you without you even having to say it out loud. "-this is three." Without much effort they start pulling off their uniform to reveal the pretty white laced lingerie they have on that makes you go entirely speechless. They push their glasses up further on their nose with a head tilt. "You like?" You nod without even feeling yourself do so. "Good." You... didn't know to whether be scared or aroused at that glint in their eyes.
You're naked and tied up from post to post with the red velvety rope as your lover straddles you and map out every part of your body with their hands, committing each bump, scar, and curve to memory. Hanji looks at you with this inquisitive look in their eyes - the same look they get during one of their experiments but yet, it's almost different than that, or is it? They touch you and look back up to your face for a reaction, they like watching you squirm but not be able to do anything with your limbs tied and can only whimper and moan for them, they like that very much actually. You can't touch them either, as they straddle you your hips do buck into them - getting a gasp out of them but with their hands suddenly around your neck they scold you with a pointed wagging finger. "Bad, naughty."
Their hips starts grounding into you as they begin touching themselves with only you helpless to watch their hand disappear down lace panties and start working themselves over, making sure to make plenty of noises you can hear until suddenly their slick hand is shoved into your mouth and you're ordered to suck, which you do until they're roughly yanked out be replaced but their breathless kiss instead - tasting their own arousal off you. Then they get an idea.
With a wide smile off their face do they maneuver around the bed to where they're above you and moves the panties aside for you to eat at them as they sit on your face. They hum and moan out all sorts of praises as they let you know how good of a job your doing eating out their pussy like it was your last meal, and since Hanji wants to be the dominant party here, they're not afraid to order you around a bit - reminding you that they are your Squad Leader and you should address them as so. So get ready to add "Yes, Squad Leader," to each and every you say tonight :)
For being so good, they give you a reward: while you continue to eat them out, they'll bend slightly over, spread you legs slightly apart to comfortly position themselves to eat out your hole/or gag around your cock, all nice and good for their beloved favorite squad member until you both come at least a couple times each, and if you're to type to get overstimulated, they'll reassure how well you're doing and tell you in the softest voice they can: "One more, just one more." until you come again.
Once you're done with that and Hanji wobbles off the bed, legs shaking, as they go to gather the harness and dick shaped object off the floor. They slip off the lingerie panties and stuff them in your mouth with a; "Hold these, please." As your lover then boucy legs each of their legs through the leg-holes and carefully latches each strap - only pausing when they look over and realized they forgot the dick. Oopsie. Fix that.
With it finally on they kneel back on top the bed, untying yours legs and arms and rubbing each appendage carefully, muttering to ask if you're okay in your ear - you nod. Now, it doesn't matter to Hanji how big or small you are. You are going on their lap - no matter how maybe ridiculous you maybe might look, you are straddled their hips at your sex is rubbed against their fake dick. But of course, you're not getting it first without begging for it, or beg for it enough for your lover's liking.
When it's in and your hips are encouraged by Hanji's hands at your hips to start bouncing on it, at your own pace at the start, until a sudden slap to your ass encourages you go faster and you make a noise - muffled by the panties still in your mouth - to your lover's shit eating grinned delight as they start thrusting their hips to meet the back or your thighs in wet snaps.
Hanji absolutely loves having their chest marked up, after ripping the underwear from out of your mouth they'll hold your head to bite at their breasts that gets them to toss their head back in a satisfied hum.
Eventually, will push you to your back and start pounding away at you in their own pace, committing every sound you make to memory and drinking in every call of their name like they were on the brink of dehydration and bit by bit more they push you to the absolute edge - until you nearly scream out your climax, for it to be quickly smoothed by their lips and a tight fist wadded in your hair.
Both of you are jelly boned by the time your finished, completely naked now up in each other's arms and honestly half asleep. That is until you chuckle, nuzzling your face in the crook of your love's neck. "I think that might've been just a tad more than three things," you tell them, which they shrug. "What can I say? I got creative in the moment, you know - there's a ton of things in those books! Maybe some stuff you'll like-" You wave it off with a yawn.
"Maybe later. Nap time now," You can't help the amused smile. "-Squad Leader."
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#attack on titan#attack on titan x reader#erwin smith#erwin smith x reader#erwin x reader#levi ackerman#levi ackerman x reader#levi x reader#hange zoe#hange zoë#hange zoe x reader#hange zoë x reader#hanji zoe#hanji x reader#sin content#mine#gender neutral reader#erwin smut#levi smut#hange smut#hanji smut
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High Maintenance
Pairing: OPLA Sanji x Reader
COME GET Y'ALLS DINNER I'M BACKKK!!!
Rating/Content Warnings: like...pg-16ish? Idk there's nudity and a lot of suggestive shit and kinda a little bit of groping (consensual, obvs) heavy-petting I guess might be the right term? But there's no outright fucking so do with that what you will.
Summary: Okay but Sanji with a high-femme reader. Like...we know how much this man likes women so I feel like he'd be all over a super femme person. Basically he has a fascination with all their fancy bath products that borders on is pervy because what do all those even do??? Eventually reader just decides to let him watch and find out.
Disclaimer(s): Since it's directly related to the plot, reader is stated as a woman in this, so if that's uncomfy for you to read keep that in mind and keep yourself safe! This idea came to me because I just finished finals and got to properly do self care for the first time in ever and wash all the finals grime off lmfao. Also there's nothing REALLY sub!Sanji about this but also...there's vibes. Damn Taz Skylar for portraying a character so babygirl that even me, quite possibly the world's biggest sub, sees him and is like...yeah I could tell him what to do once or twice.
As much as he tried, Sanji just didn't understand.
Sure, he was far better then the others - leagues away from Luffy and Zoro in terms of hygiene - but he was still a man. And a pirate, at that.
His eyes bend to you when you walk into the galley to move through to the bathroom - towel, change of clothes, and multiple bottles in your arms.
It baffled him the sheer number of products you had- a brush, towel, some sort of sugar concoction, all for the same purpose. A more traditional shampoo, similar to the kind he used, for initially cleaning off all the (your words) "pirate grime". Another, "gentler" shampoo for your hair. Which only doubled his confusion, as he had been under the impression that all shampoo was for hair. 2 different razors, scented body wash, colorful soaps.
It isn't uncommon for you and Sanji to meet this way. He's nearly always in the kitchen, and the hall to the bathroom cuts through the galley. Still, his heart warms every time you stop and set down all the numerous - he'll never understand what all those different products could possibly do - things in your arms on your side of the counter and take a stool, smiling at him.
Without fail, you stop for a few moments every time on your way to the bath just to talk with him, and every time it makes his heart race and his breath catch happily.
"Hey, Sanji."
"Evening, love." He answers, voice deceptively easy. He hopes you'd never know just how much effort goes in to that 'easy' temperament he has around you, but sometimes he thinks it's obvious. "What brings you down here at...2:30 in the morning?"
You laugh softly when he mentions the late hour, ever the type to worry over you getting enough sleep, shrugging sheepishly.
"I could ask you the same thing."
Your (valid) argument seems to phase right through him and he ignores the question, simply raising a brow at you. You shake your head fondly, but answer anyway.
"I was on my way to take a bath. It's nicer at night, since there's less people up. More time, and quiet."
He hums in acknowledgment and keeps cooking, turning to you with a shy look on his face.
"Um...love?"
"Hm?"
You fold your arms in front of you on the counter and lean on your hands, looking at him curiously as you wait for him to continue.
He pauses, face red.
"Well...I was wondering if I...if I could ask you a question?"
You squint in amused confusion at his nervousness, eyes soft and fond as you nod. He thinks he might die.
"Yeah, shoot."
He clears his throat and looks at all the various bath products you brought with you before looking away, gesturing at the bottles.
"What do they...do?"
You snort when you realize that was really what he was so nervous over, shaking your head with a fond giggle.
"Wow, you are such a man sometimes."
Your eyes flit to the products before looking back up at him.
"Wanna be a little more specific?"
"Oh, right." He chuckles, looking embarrassed. "There's so...many?" He looks back at you, the confusion obvious on his face. "I mean...why do you need so many? Do they really all do different things? And-" He gestures to all the various products, brow raised. "Why so many different kinds of shampoo?"
Your giggles turn to full-blown laughter at his confusion, though it's not at his expense.
Okay, mostly not at his expense. Maybe a little bit.
"Oh, honey. You're cute sometimes, y'know that?"
You shake your head, rolling your eyes softly and looking at him. It's sweet, really, how embarrassed and curious he is. A very, very bad (very amusing) idea comes to your mind, and before you can think any better of it, you hear your own voice speaking.
"...want me to show you?"
He blinks almost sleepily, eyes wide.
"I- pardon?"
There's a thick silence as you watch the gears turn in his head, trying to work out if you really just said that and what the hell it means.
"What- what are you suggesting?"
You shrug, teasing smirk unfurling across your face as you sit up, cocking your head at him. It's not exactly like you can un-say what you just said, so you figure you might as well go for it. In for a penny, right?
"Exactly what I just said. You wanna know what they do, I'll show you."
You look down with coy, faux-innocence and sigh, giving him a chance to back out that you know he won't take.
"But, y'know...only if you want to."
The heavy-handed mock disappointment seems to jump start His mind again and his eyes flash with realization, a red flush starting up his neck.
"O- Oh....oh! Yeah, alright. I'd like that. Yeah. Yeah, that would be very- very, uh...helpful. Thanks."
He clears his throat, trying to sound less flustered.
It doesn't work.
You stifle a laugh at his reaction, shrugging and picking up your things. You start to walk down the hallway to the bathroom and for a few moments, he feels like he's frozen solid right where he is. You pause at the door, turning over your shoulder to look back at him teasingly.
"Well, c'mon then. Don't make me wait up."
He blinks and then he's moving towards you, feet carrying him forward before he even truly thinks about what he's doing. He follows you into the bathroom, and he can hear his heartbeat in his ears.
"Uh...okay, so, how do I- do I sit somewhere? Or...or watch? I- I don't know what's, uh..."
You shake your head with a fond giggle when he struggles to put a sentence together in his nervousness, but you decide to take pity and give him a bit more guidance.
"Alright, sit down."
You move him over to a bench and push him lightly down by the shoulder to sit back. He goes without resistance, letting you push him by two fingers and minimal pressure on his shoulder, closing the door and locking it behind you.
He sits down on the bench, blushing intensely. He doesn't know much about healthcare, but he thinks he might be having heart palpitations.
You hum to yourself quietly as you turn on the hot water, letting the bath fill while you busy yourself setting up the number of bottles and containers and miscellaneous items of yours on the edge of the tub. He shifts in his seat as you open one of the bottles and empty a bit into the bath, which immediately starts foaming as you turn to him with a teasing smile.
"I'm assuming you already know what bubble bath is?"
He nods, looking at the bath as it starts to foam, feeling like a teenager in a high school health class.
"Yeah, I know about that part." He nods slightly in relief- at least he knows something. "Just uh...never actually experienced it before."
"Never?"
Your brows furrow in surprise and confusion before you make a conscious effort to raise them, trying not to make your concern too obvious as something softens in your eyes for a moment. Sympathy, maybe.
"...well, we'll just have to do this for you sometime, then. Once you know what all of it is."
Your voice is gentler then, soft. You don't linger on the moment, looking away to stop the water once the bath is full and holding up a spherical object for him to see.
"This is a bath bomb. It's got stuff in it that makes the water turn pretty colors and smell nice and helps with your skin."
He nods, shifting again in his seat as you place the sphere into the bath. Though he's nervous, his eyes drag to every little detail, desperate to take it all in.
"Right." He mumbles, watching you throw the bath bomb into the water before his curiosity gets the better of him.
"Do you always make it this nice? With all the different...products and stuff?"
You shrug and clip your hair up messily, and he tries not to get distracted by how domestic this whole thing feels.
"When I have the time, yeah. It's...nice. A good way to relax."
You find the zipper of the dress you'd been wearing, a simple sun dress to keep you from melting in the sun or freezing from the sea breeze, fingers halting at the top as you look back at him.
"Last chance to back out, Sanji."
He swallows, eyes trailing down your body as you give him one last out. If he were more in his right mind, he'd think you were sweet for continually checking up on him.
Right now, he just thinks it's tedious.
"No, uh...no, I'm good. I am very much interested in this lesson." He clears his throat. "I would appreciate the, uh...the help."
You huff a fond laugh at his enthusiasm as his blushing gaze meets yours, shaking your head at him softly.
"Alright then."
You reach for the pull of the zipper again and slowly drag it down, slipping the dress off the taper of your shoulders, your waist, your hips. Your panties follow quickly after and your clothes all pool at your feet. You step out of them gingerly before stepping into the bath with a satisfied sigh, sinking slowly into the water with a satisfied hiss.
His eyes follow you the entire time, his heart beating at a rapid clip in his chest. He's seen other people nude before, he's had sex, but watching someone in the bath seems so...it's just...jesus. He's never done something this intimate. And yet, his eyes are glued to you.
He swallows nervously, hands starting to tremble a little bit.
For a moment he gets to see you completely bare, then the cloudy, colored water and the bubbles slowly cover you inch by inch. He can still see from your shoulders up where the water doesn't cover you. Your eyes flick back to him with a knowing smirk.
"You're staring."
It's a simple observation, though there's an undeniably teasing tone to your voice when you point it out. It isn't cold, though, or unwelcoming- the exact opposite, in fact. It's an amused little poke at his more perverted tendencies, but one that makes no judgement on him for it.
It sounds suspiciously like approval.
His mouth is almost agape, mind replaying the scene of every inch of you disappearing behind the clouds of bubbles and soap over and over again. It's like a scene from a romance novel.
(Despite the others' teasing, he's never actually read a romance novel. He assumes this is what they're like.)
He flushes and his eyes flick away from you, resolutely staring at the wall to your right.
"I- I didn't mean to, uh...I- I'm-"
"It's alright."
You quiet his stammering immediately, sending him a quick wink. Again, your tone sounds suspiciously of approval.
"I don't mind."
You sigh in contentedness at the warmth of the bath, taking a moment to just relax into the warmth before grabbing a cloth.
"So, you still want that lesson?"
He looks back at you, his blush red and steadily getting darker He nods slowly, blinking dizzily at the sight of you.
"Yes please."
He whispers, voice hoarse and cracking with equal parts nervousness and excitement. "Please and thank you." He adds softly, biting his lips and nodding again, eyes wide.
You giggle at his obvious excitement, leaning over the edge of the tub to grab a cloth and looking at him coyly with the knowledge that it would give him a teasing glimpse of your chest.
"Right, well- this is an exfoliating towel."
You lift it up to show him on the word "this" as if to emphasize your words before dunking the rough cloth gently underwater to wet it, attempting to explain in terms he can understand- his cooking utensils.
"It's like...polishing a knife. You start with a rougher grit and work your way down."
His eyes widen at the teasing glimpse of your chest as you dunk the towel in. He's embarrassed to find himself a bit breathless, his mind definitely not in the proper place right now.
"Ah..." He nods in understanding, trying to calm his flustered nerves and look away from your body. "So, you'd use this...after you were in the bubble bath, I guess?"
"During."
You correct lightly, beginning to scrub your skin with the wet cloth. To Sanji, it's nothing but a massive tease- first scrubbing each of your arms, then across your shoulders, neck, collar-bones. Each second seems to stretch into hours and he seriously starts to doubt his sanity.
To his disappointment, you scrub down your chest, stomach, hips below the water where he can't see much other than the occasional flash of color from the hot pink cloth.
"It makes your skin smooth, makes it easier to shave, clears off gunk and dead skin. Keeps me..."
But then, you lift your leg out of the water and point it. His mind short-circuits completely as you give him far too good of a view, meticulously scrubbing down one leg before putting it back underwater and repeating the process with the other. Legs, legs - he's heard he has nice ones before and he's never quite understood it but this, you, now - he thinks he could die happy between yours.
You notice, of course, the way his eyes magnetize to your skin. Once finished, you continue the words you'd trailed off on, voice soft and teasing as you wink at him.
"...y'know, soft to the touch."
His eyes follow you, watching you scrub and reveal each body part with a slight flutter in his chest. He swallows, unable to move, his eyes glued to you. Said eyes go wide when you reveal your legs, your bare thighs something he never thought he'd get to see. He swallows, trying not to make it obvious he's staring.
"Yes, I, uh...I believe I understand. It helps make things...soft." He chuckles nervously, trying to play down how obviously flustered he is.
You put down the cloth once you're finished scrubbing down your whole body, thoroughly entertained by his nervousness. You pick up a small jar next, holding it up briefly to show it to him before opening it and gently scooping out a bit of thick paste and rubbing it onto your legs, again giving him a downright sinful view.
"Y'know how I mentioned working your way down to a lower grit? Well, this is that. It's a sugar scrub, pretty much the same purpose. Moisturizes and exfoliates to keep my skin soft."
He watches each moment of you scrubbing, and each bit you reveal of your body. He's got no clue where to look, if he's allowed to look. Even seeing your legs...oh god.
He must be allowed to look, right? Surely he must.
He bites his lip and nods, fingers nervously tapping on his knee as he tries to focus back on anything else, looking away in an attempt to look more respectful than he's feeling at the moment.
"That's, uh...that's a lot of work to put into your skin just for softness."
"Well, you should see how soft it is."
You shoot back with a wink, using another dollop of the paste to exfoliate your upper chest and shoulders.
He notices that you use it on fewer, more specific areas- which he supposes makes sense, since it's a much more finite resource than the cloth. The observation seems much more meaningful to a mind trying to focus on anything other than your body.
Not that it's easy.
Nothing about this is easy.
"Do you just...do this a lot? With your skin, I mean." He asks nervously, eyes wide in wonder that someone would put this much effort into something so baseline...or that someone like you would feel the need to do anything to your angelic appearance.
He clears his throat.
"Y'know...not that you should have to. You look beautiful either way."
"Not always. Or- not fully to this extent."
You smile softly with a shrug, steam swirling in the air around you. All of it seems so effortless. He can't seem to catch his breath. After scrubbing the mixture into your skin for a few moments, you rinse it off with the bath water, expression zen and almost bored like you haven't completely altered the rest of his natural life.
"This is usually what I do when I want to feel...extra nice. When I've got a date, or something else I want to look nice for."
You explain, rinsing yourself off thoroughly before picking up your razor, starting to shave your legs while you talk to him, teasing lightly-
"I take it I don't have to explain shaving to you?"
He blushes a little harder, his eyes going to your legs as you shave them. Oh god, this is making him so nervous. His body is buzzing with anticipation and nerves and...other things.
"Uh...well, no, I uh...I know how to shave. But I guess I'm- I've never been this close to a woman while she shaves, I suppose." He gulps, his words getting softer the further he talks, like he might run out of air. He bites his lip. "But I think I get the idea."
You hum in equal parts acknowledgment and amusement, finishing up shaving in comfortable silence- arms, under arms, legs. The process goes relatively quickly before you set the razor back down, picking up another bottle and a plush looking ball of tight-nit net fabric.
"This is a lufa. And the bottle is body wash."
You keep your explanations simple so as not to confuse him too much. You know he'll be having a tough time focusing on your words as is, especially considering that he has precisely 0 experience with this sort of thing, and you don't want to overwhelm the poor thing.
You hold up the ball for him to see for a moment before uncapping the bottle, pouring a bit of the soapy liquid onto the fabric and rubbing it across your skin. You trace along your neck, chest, shoulders, the sponge-like ball of fabric leaving trails of fluffy bubbles in its path. The sight only makes it harder for him to cope, the bubbles not leaving much of anything to the imagination.
Still, it only adds to the romance-novel story-book scene in his mind, leaving his thoughts alarmingly warm and fuzzy.
He blushes and sighs, eyes glued the entire time. His body is humming with anticipation, his mind is getting hazy. He doesn't know how to handle this, how to handle you- the way you look right now, the way you talk, the person you are. His chest is fluttering, and he's blushing up a storm. Oh god, you look so nice.
"What's that do?"
His voice is hoarse and breathless, the words barely escaping his lips.
"It's a bit like soap, but more...I don't know, luxurious feeling."
You close your eyes in contentedness and move the lufa across your body, much more thorough with this than anything else. As far as he can see, there's not a single spot you don't reach, leaving fluffy trails of bubbles that slowly dissolve when they sink back underwater.
"The lufa is also kinda an exfoliant, but a much more gentle one."
He watches every moment of it with complete fascination, not sure where to look with the lufa in front of you. It's basically impossible not to look at your curves and your body at this point. You're stunningly beautiful in this moment, and he's so close to you he can see her every little detail. His eyes can't move away, and he swallows, nodding.
"I...oh. It looks like it feels nice." He chuckles in his nervousness. "And, uh...it probably smells nice too, I'm guessing..?"
"It certainly does both of those things."
You confirm with a soft, gentle laugh, amused and teasing yes, but more fond and...almost intimate than before.
"I mean, there's not much point taking a bath if you don't come out smelling like a cupcake."
You joke lightly, holding the lufa underwater to let the bubbles fizzle out and then wringing it out and setting it aside to let it dry.
His eyes follow the motions of you wringing out the lufa and he watches your body intently. He's staring at you a little too much, he knows. He can almost see...everything. His breath is coming a little heavy, and he finds his mind is getting more and more hazy as you go.
"A cupcake...?" He swallows, his voice almost cracking. "That's an oddly specific smell. Like... like, vanilla?"
"It's just a figure of speech. Smelling like anything sweet, really. Vanilla, chocolate, fruit, flowers."
You wave a dismissive hand with a giggle, talking to him absentmindedly as you let your hair down from where you had it clipped up and out of the way, shaking it out once you let it down. Slowly, you slide down in the bath until your hair is wet, wiping the wet strands from your face.
"This one is vanilla, though."
You tease with a wink, holding up a bottle of shampoo before opening the lid and pouring a bit into your hand. It only takes you a moment of lathering it before it suds and you can start working the bubbles into your hair.
Sanji, meanwhile, is having a bit of a crisis.
He swallows, feeling his body go a little limp at the sight of you in the bathtub, wet strands of hair hanging over your face. His eyes are glued to you again, and he's getting...so distracted.
He manages to speak, though his words are slow and not quite as coherent as before.
"I- you look...so pretty. Your hair looks great like that." He mumbles quietly, voice hoarse and breathy.
You huff a soft laugh at his mumbled praise, shaking your head fondly. He's always been sweet, but there's something particularly cute about him when he's flustered like this.
"It's a cleansing shampoo. Probably close to the kind you and the boys use."
You explain in a soft hum, leaning your head back again to rinse your hair off gently, running your fingers through it. And trying to shake the thoughts of the boys' 5-in-1 shampoo from your head.
You look like an angel, or a mermaid. He can't decide which.
"That just means it's harsher. Better for getting everything off, since being a pirate isn't exactly the cleanest job. It isn't great for your hair, though."
He smiles, his eyes glancing over your body every once in a while, though mostly he finds himself focused on your face and your hair in particular. Your expression is so...so...ugh. You look like a goddess, hair dripping with water and skin wet from the bath.
"So, you...you want your hair to look nice then. Not just clean."
You nod your head and hum in confirmation, uncapping a different bottle with a smile and pouring some of the liquid inside into your hand.
"That's what this shampoo is for. Still cleans, but it's not as harsh or stripping as the other one."
You lather the new liquid in your hair, massaging it into your scalp with a soft, contented sigh at the relaxing feeling as it quickly turns to white suds.
"So it's not as good as getting all of the pirate grime out of your hair, but it keeps your hair soft, shiny, healthy. All that good stuff."
He swallows, his eyes locked onto you and your hair, watching it shimmer and gleam with the water and product soaking through it. God, you're so...your hair shines like glass, and he can't stop staring at it.
"Uh, do you...d'you want help with that?" He asks quickly, his breath catching in his throat. "I mean-" He mumbles, cutting himself off sheepishly. "Do you need any help?"
Your eyes widen slightly at his enthusiasm, an amused smile quickly growing on your face. You look off to the middle distance for a moment with a dramatic sigh in mock consideration before looking back at him, quirking a finger forward in permission.
"Well, go on then."
His lungs stop working.
Really, his breath just hitches in his throat again, only a second as he blinks once. But he's convinced his body is giving out. Oh god, you want him to touch you. Oh, god, you're letting him touch you.
He swallows and then nods eagerly, leaning forward slowly. He leans close, his cheeks blushing a little bit as the scent of your hair tickles his nose. He reaches out gingerly, like he's not sure if he's allowed, before rubbing the shampoo into your hair.
"Just..." He trails off quietly, his voice breaking a little breathily as he tilts your head back softly to give himself better access.
You practically purr at the touch when he massages the shampoo into your scalp, your neck, your hair, leaning into his touch as your eyes flutter shut with a sigh.
"You're good with your hands, aren't you?"
You observe softly, letting him continue to wash and rinse your hair. His passion for the task is palpable, though you could've guessed as much with the fixation he always had on your bath products, equal parts curious and perverted.
His blush deepens quickly, and his hands shake as his fingers brushing against you carefully.
"Uhm..." He chokes slightly, clearing his throat. "I- I guess I am. I like doing things with my hands." He swallows, words coming out a little hoarse. His fingers move back to your hair.
"I can tell."
You remark teasingly, voice soft as you shoot him a wink before closing your eyes again. Once the shampoo is all rinsed from your hair, you direct him softly, voice quiet in clear relaxation-
"Conditioner. Purple bottle by your hand."
He scrambles to uncap the bottle as soon as you speak, eager to have been given permission to continue, pouring a small amount into his hands before brushing his fingers through your hair.
"'s for making your hair smoother. Keeps it from breaking if you comb it too much."
You explain absentmindedly. This one is new- it doesn't fizz up in his hands or create bubbling foam in your hair, just absorbs into the strands, smooth and slick and shiny.
He rubs his hands together, spreading out the conditioner throughout your hair, working it to its core. His breathing is a little shaky as his fingers glide through your hair, but he does his best not to show it. His eyes are still focused on you, and his heart is beating too fast.
He swallows, the scent of your conditioner filling his nose and his mind.
"How do you...find the time for all this? That's a lot of bottles, and a lot of work to just...make your hair nice."
"It's worth it. It's...relaxing. Like meditation. Or cooking something familiar."
You add on second thought, relating back to him to help him understand. When the conditioner is worked into your hair, you toss him a towel to dry his hands on once he's rinsed them off.
"Now go sit back down. Lesson's almost over."
You instruct softly, voice gentle and fond. He doesn't think before moving back to the bench and sitting back down, though his brows furrow endearingly in confusion. You just laugh lightly.
"Not every bath product is something you use in the actual bath."
He nods, expression confused, but he doesn't ask for elaboration. His eyes are still glued to your body, the sight of you in the bath still stunning. It's almost hypnotic to just sit back and watch. He clears his throat, looking around the bath curiously with a hint of confusion on his face.
"So...what's left?"
"...you'll see."
Is the eventual, cryptic answer he gets after a pause, you still smirking slightly. Then you- oh. Oh. You stand up, pulling the plug in the bath and letting the water drain as you step out to stand on the bath mat, completely bare and wet and dripping and oh, god- you grab a medium sized towel and lightly dry your hair until it's no longer dripping, still damp but not actively in your way, clipping it up again as you pat the rest of your body dry softly, humming to yourself as you work.
"Wait, are you...are you not going to wear anything else? I mean...I'm not complaining, I like looking at you, but...aren't you cold?" He asks, still staring at you excitedly. Your hair is up again, and every inch of your body is on display. He's practically drooling.
Oh, god, this is a blessing.
You scoff lightly at the question, shaking your head in fond amusement without looking up, still focused on drying yourself off.
'I'm gonna put on clothes eventually, Sanji. Like I told you, I'm not done yet."
Once you deem your level of dryness acceptable enough, you pick up another jar and open the lid, scooping out a bit of a much thicker cream.
"Moisturizer."
You answer before he even has the will to ask, eyes meeting his for a moment with a fond smirk as you rub the cream onto your body.
"Smells nice, and keeps your skin soft."
He stares at you as you rub the moisturizer on your body, his eyes going everywhere as you move. Every inch of your body is incredible, and he keeps finding new places to look.
He swallows, his expression a mix of admiration, shock, and excitement.
"Do... do you want any help with that?" He asks nervously.
It would be a lie to say he's asking for innocent reasons. Seeing your hands - small, soft, yours - massage the moisturizer into every inch of your body, your legs, thighs, hips, arms, stomach, neck- Jesus, your tits- his mind is on fire.
"Aww, are you offering? Sure, Sanji. You can help."
You answer, voice teasing like you know exactly what he's thinking, and- wait. That's- he actually- you gave him permission? You actually said yes? It takes him a moment to process the words, mind tripping over itself in surprise and oh fuck yes, Jesus Christ.
That's exactly what he's offering, and he doesn't have the mind to hide it. He nods eagerly, his expression telling you everything you need to know.
He scoots over closer, his hand reaching for the moisturizer and his eyes glued on your breasts now. They look so good. He applies the cream directly there, the touch of his hands on your soft skin causing him a burst of electricity as he touches you gently. Oh god, you're letting him... he's touching you! It's like his mind is exploding, and he's doing his best to contain himself.
You almost laugh when he immediately decides to start at your breasts, rolling your eyes fondly at the predictable move.
You aren't really surprised but then again, you still let him.
He's definitely not going to let you do this alone, anyway. It's too much of a blessing, and his hands are trembling, even as he works them into your skin. He's trying to focus on keeping himself from getting too excited, but seeing you like this is too much to handle. He licks his lips nervously as his hands flit all over your body. His mind screams at him to do something, do more, but the years of chivalry drilled into him stay his hands.
Soon enough the moisturizer has sunken into your skin and you press him back lightly by the chest, using those same fingers to tilt his chin up softly. You angle his head up at you, voice soft with a gentle smirk on your face.
"Thanks for the help, Sanji."
He swallows, looking up at you. His lips are parted and his breath is heavy. He blinks slowly. He's...he can't believe just how lucky he is.
"Of-of course. It was nice to...it was nice to help someone...someone so beautiful." He says, his voice breathless and his cheeks flushed a bright, bright red.
You huff a fond little laugh, mussing up his hair with your hand.
You're gone in a flurry as quickly as you came, a sleep shirt and a pair of panties thrown on before he can even process that you're moving, a teasing pat on the cheek and a repetition of "well, thanks anyway!" And then...you're gone.
Like a mirage or a daydream, the kind he never lets himself have in public (not that any of his effort has stopped him, really).
It takes a moment for him to grow aware of his surroundings again. Aware of anything. The tile is cool beneath his knees and - when did he get there? - the air is thick with steam but slowly thinning. The scent of you still lingers, or the scent of your myriad of products, he's not sure. And...those.
That's an entirely separate problem for him to tackle. He groans.
His budget can't handle frivolous expenses, but now he can't get the thought out of his head of wrapping his fist around himself with some of that fancy moisturizer that smells like you as lube and...shit, he's gonna have to buy a bottle, before he goes insane.
Ah, fuck, who is he kidding? He's never going to be able to do so much as take a bath without jerking off again.
#vinsmoke sanji#sanji x reader#opla sanji#opla sanji x reader#opla#opla x reader#sanji x you#opla Sanji x you#opla x you#one piece#one piece live action#one piece x reader#one piece x you#opla x y/n#opla sanji x y/n#sanji x y/n#opla sanji x you
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bit out of nowhere but LO Hades reminds me so much to Bojack Horseman idk how to explain it
Oh we've talked about this extensively in the ULO chat circles n such, especially when it comes to the most climactic scene in the show, the second interview:
youtube
The entire tone of the show showcases a very bitter reality with a lot of celebrities and people in power. There are some messed up things that happen throughout the course of the show, but they always feel like they're being used for comedy or brushed under the rug with comedy, because the show is, after all, a comedy. But I feel like that was the point, because it's not until the final season that everything that happened throughout finally catches up to Bojack, and suddenly... it's not funny anymore. There's no punchline. It really reflects just how much people in power don't see their abuse or wrongdoings as "big deals", sometimes they even see it as "just some funny thing that happened", all while the onlookers and victims of their behavior and abuse either become so acquainted with it they don't even see it as abuse anymore until they finally break away from it (Diana, Todd, Princess Caroline, etc.) OR they fight to be heard while the media tries to snuff them out. So then when the consequences finally catch up to them, there are no laughs to be heard, as much as the perpetrator in question may try their best to pass it off as "not a big deal" or believe they shouldn't be held accountable because "it happened a long time ago".
Anyone who sees Biscuits Braxby as the villain here is missing the overall point - Bojack has been responsible for literally ruining people's lives on several occasions, and has never been held accountable.
And yeah, I see a lot of that in LO as well, but the issue is the framing of the story isn't making it clear if it's actually going to have its "Come to Jesus" moment with Hades and Persephone, or if it's just gonna keep celebrating them as the heroes.
There were no consequences for Hades pulling out Alex's eye. They played the resolution out for comedy.
There were no consequences for Persephone turning Minthe into a mint plant. They played the scenario out for comedy literally by the end of the very same episode and then well into the next one.
There were no consequences for Persephone cornering Tori at his job. The entire thing was played up for comedy.
There were no consequences for Persephone raiding Leuce's home. She was rewarded with sex from Hades and it was, you guessed it, played up for comedy.
Just like with Bojack Horseman, we don't see Hades or Persephone treat these situations as seriously as they ought to. They ultimately don't care how other people feel or how they may be affected by their own actions, they only care about themselves. Just like with Bojack, we see Hades enter sexual relationships with women who are in a much weaker position than him, women who stand to lose far more than he would if the relationship went south.
(I need you all to realize that Hades is literally blackmailing her. He is trying to pay her off with a management position or some kind of severance and framing it in such a way to manipulate her into thinking it's 'better' for her that she take the deal, all for the sake of getting her out of the picture because he's with Persephone now. This is blackmail. And the narrative wants us to root for Hades here.)
Shit, I would argue Bojack is still a better character than Hades and Persephone because we 1.) see how the consequences of his actions do affect him on a deeper level (through his anxiety and self-hatred which he spends a long time wallowing in, making his situation worse, rather than seeking help for) and 2.) he actually does eventually start to seek help, but unfortunately there's only so much one person can do to fix themselves when their actions still haven't been brought to justice and their mindset hasn't truly changed; which is what we see in the final part of the show when, despite Bojack's attempts to be a better person, the Sarah-Lynn case catches up to him, and in his final moments up on that stage with Biscuits Braxby, we see his true nature come out - he thinks being an addict should absolve him from what he's done to others.
Sounds familiar, doesn't it? Except replace "addict" with "traumatized" as many of Persephone and Hades' actions are swept under the rug with "they went through trauma so it's fine". Despite the fact that other characters who have also been through trauma aren't given that same grace (Thanatos, Demeter, Minthe, etc.)
You could also go a step further and call out how the fans themselves will defend their actions as "but they're gods!!! gods were terrible all the time in the myths!" but isn't it funny how myth accuracy only ever comes up when it comes to defending Hades and Persephone? Meanwhile you'll never see anyone bring it up when it comes to Apollo SA'ing Persephone, or Hades having an emotional affair with Persephone, or any of the other number of things that Rachel rewrote for her 'retelling'. It's not funny haha, it's funny yikes.
I can only imagine how the fans feel seeing Hades and Persephone called out must be similar to how first-time viewers like myself felt seeing Bojack be put on the cross by Biscuits Braxby - "you're being an asshole, he's working on himself!" "leave him alone!!!" "the media is making a monster out of him!" "he's really not THAT bad!"
But he is. They are. And unlike Bojack Horseman, I unfortunately can no longer have the good faith in believing Hades and Persephone will have their comeuppance, or the people they've hurt will get their retribution. I have no hope that Persephone will see that she's the Sarah-Lynn of the relationship, a girl who was groomed into an abuser at the hands of an abuser, who had no chance of doing better because the person she fell for pulled her down to his level. I don't have any faith in Rachel whatsoever that she'll manage to end this story with any message besides "it's fine for Persephone and Hades to be who they are, because they're rich and powerful and really horny for each other!"
And Hades doesn't think he has any power over women.
#lore olympus critical#anti lore olympus#lo critical#ask me anything#ama#anon ama#anon ask me anything
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Define Close
♥ ♥ Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader
Summary: What good are flatmates even, if they don't comfort you when you need it most? Or when you need it a normal amount? Or, you know, when you don't really need it, but just really want it?
CW / disclaimer: rpf, fem!reader, afab!reader, hurt/comfort i guess? idk we're sad a lot and joe cheers us up a lot, talk of period blood getting onto things
Author’s note: i need everyone to understand that there's no real plot going on here, it's just.... it's just vibes, i hope thats ok!
Wordcount: 3.4K
part one - part two - part three - part four - part five
You looked at your reflection and sighed deeply.
With your tummy sticking out more than usual, no matter how much you tried to suck it in, with your boobs feeling sore, and with your mood swinging like a pendulum in a hurricane, there really was no denying the monthly doom that resided in your lower stomach.
Obviously, the cramps accompanied by your uterine lining leaking out of you was plenty proof, but just in case that didn’t sell it, your jawline decided a few big spots would be just the thing to remind you of the fact that you were dealing with hormones. That you were a woman. One with a period.
It fucking sucked.
Painkillers helped a lot. Really dulled the sharpness of the cramps and the persistent ache in your lower back.
But they didn’t help the irritability. Or the complete lack of patience you harboured. Or the cravings. Or the need to drown yourself in oversized clothing.
Joe had noticed.
Oh, he had noticed.
He noticed the lead up to it as well, your PMS, but didn’t want to ask. Didn’t want to check if he was right, because asking if you were on your period after you snapped at him for something you wouldn’t have pointed out at any other time, was exactly what would get you to snap at him.
But then, when he wanted to throw on one of his hoodies, he noticed that the one he pulled out of his wardrobe wasn’t his.
You had the same one, just a size or two smaller. The women’s fit slightly different from his.
“Hey, I think this is–” Joe’d walked over and stopped in your doorway.
You were sat on your bed, one foot on the floor and the other pressed into the mattress as you put on the coziest pair of socks you owned.
“Yea, that’s mine.” Joe pointed right at you. “This one is yours.”
You looked at what Joe was holding, then down at your own frame, and you knew he was right.
“No, it’s not.”
But you weren’t going to admit that you might have mixed them up when you’d done laundry the other day. His was baggier. Easier to hide yourself away in. Large enough to curl your knees up into, if you wanted to.
And, you wanted to.
“Yes, it is, look,” Joe took hold of the hoodie in his hands by the shoulder seam, held it in front of him to show how short it was on him.
You didn’t care.
You weren’t going to take off the hoodie you were wearing just because Joe barged into your room with wild claims about you having made a mistake.
No.
You had.
But... no.
“Looks fine.” You said dryly, voice flat, facial expression completely neutral.
“Looks fine? What– oh, my God,” Joe huffed, and just to show how right he was, he moved his arms into the hoodie to put it on. “Can’t even get my shoulders in properly, see, watch this,” Joe made a show of stretching the fabric, pulled it over his head and pretended to get stuck a second.
When it was fully on, you saw how it was obviously not Joe’s fit.
Because that was your hoodie.
Made sense.
You just stared at him, both feet on the floor now, shoulders slumped, and Joe made a face, eyebrows raised high, as if to say, see?
Um.
Could Joe not read the room?
You said it looked fine.
When Joe didn’t budge after you just blankly stared at him a minute, you audibly sighed. Let it rumble in your throat to really make sure Joe understood what an absolute bitch he was being, and started taking an arm out of a sleeve to take it off.
Fine.
“No, you don’t–” Joe sighed, huffed a laugh, and you froze. “You don’t have to take it off, just, that one’s mine. Get it back to me later.”
And somehow, that just pissed you off even more.
“Well then why the fuck make such a fuss about it in the first place?” you raised your voice, brow furrowed deep, clearly annoyed. “My God, Joe,” you grumbled, sticking your arm back into the sleeve and getting up.
“All right,” Joe indignantly spat back, expression wild, clearly not all right with the way you were speaking to him.
You frowned at each other a second.
“What?” you snapped when he didn’t say anything.
Joe looked ridiculous in your hoodie. It had eaten up half the hem of his T-shirt underneath, exposing some of his bare stomach just above the waistband of his jeans.
“What?” Joe mocked you, high pitched voice and all, and you were sure it was meant to showcase your vile attitude and make you turn it down a notch.
It did the opposite.
“Thank you, Joe, for letting me borrow your clothes and not being a real dick about it,” Joe said pointedly, and then changed his facial expression into a wide grin that nearly squeezed his eyes shut and responded to himself with a much nicer, “Not a problem, you’re so welcome.”
You blankly stared at him once more, and then winced a little when you felt the faint sting of a cramp that managed to push through the painkillers you’d taken earlier.
You needed your hot water bottle.
“Thank you, Joe,” you spat at him, angrier than you meant it, and you were about to walk around him, to make your way out of your room.
But Joe blocked your path by moving to the side an inch, just enough to stop you in your stride.
He raised a well-meaning hand, was about to touch you on the arm or the shoulder, you didn’t know what he was going for, because you slapped it away before he could make contact. You used flappy hands that slapped his hand and arm several times. Made Joe flinch, duck into his shoulders and step aside.
The snort of laughter that startled out of him made you actually want to hurt him. You weren’t being funny.
“Are you being se–”
You used both hands to shove him, just for good purchase, making him lose balance and step back to catch himself. It felt a little like how you used to fight your brother as a teenager, big difference being that Joe wasn’t fighting back.
Joe called your name after you when you walked out.
“Leave me alone!” you called over your shoulder.
And you’d meant those words then. Felt a little like you were 16 again.
You were achy, and bloated, and in pain, and not in the mood for any of Joe’s usual goofy shit.
But regret came shortly after. Because you definitely weren’t 16 anymore.
You found your hot water bottle and filled it up with the hottest water your tap could manage. Shoved it into the kangaroo pocket of Joe’s hoodie and felt how your lack of patience for everything and everyone also meant you didn’t have any of yourself.
You didn’t actually want Joe to leave you alone.
And, had you had the patience, you would’ve moped around for a bit. Would’ve drowned in your own pride for ages, because normally, you were stubborn like that.
Not now though.
You didn’t hesitate to make your way back over to Joe’s room, where you found him in front of his wardrobe in his T-shirt. His bedroom was messy, clothes sort of... everywhere. Some on the floor, some piled up on a chair in the corner. Your hoodie laid discarded on his bed as he pulled another from a pile. Standing in his doorway, you just watched him and waited, and felt how your lip pulled into a sad pout all by itself.
Joe had put on his hoodie, one that actually fit him this time, before he even noticed you were there. When he did see you, he sighed at the look of you and then comically gave you a pout of his own as his head dropped to his shoulder.
Then you just looked at each other a second.
You could’ve easily said you were sorry for that bullshit you just pulled. This was the perfect moment.
And Joe would have easily accepted it too, you knew.
But you didn’t really have to say the words.
A lot of things went unsaid between the two of you.
And this was one of them.
“All right,” Joe said definitively, like he’d just decided something. He looked around, bent to pick up some clothes, and said, “Go on, I need to get this sorted. I’ll join you in a minute.”
There was no need to hide your smile.
Cat that got the cream.
If you hadn’t had hot water sloshing around in your pocket, you would’ve skipped over to the sofa.
You let yourself fall back into the corner of the L-shaped sofa and it was only about a minute later before Joe walked into the living area and closed the door of the hallway behind him.
“Do you want some tea?”
“Ooh, yes. Big mug, please.”
And whilst you scrolled through Netflix's new releases and asked which one’s Joe hadn’t seen yet, Joe put the kettle on and prepared two steaming mugs of builder’s tea, done exactly how you liked it.
This was the kind of stuff Sundays were made for, you thought.
You could do without the dull ache in your lower stomach, but the hot water bottle felt nice and comforting, and now you were going to watch a film with your flatmate. No doubt you’d have pizza for dinner later.
When Joe eventually joined you, he carefully put the mugs down on the coffee table and then turned to grab hold of your knees that he pushed aside.
“Move, this is my spot.”
If you were just going by his tone of voice, you could’ve been fooled he was being serious. His eyes gave him away, though.
“I was sitting there.”
Joe hadn’t even been close to the sofa all day, you thought, but... it worked.
It got you to laugh as you let yourself be shoved aside just enough for Joe to squeeze right into the corner, using his knees and elbows to make enough room for himself. Arguably, it was the best spot of the whole sofa, especially right in the centre of it, where you could feel the sofa cushions curve around your shoulders on both sides. Fighting over who got to sit there made sense.
Joe sat down, wormed himself into place, and it left you pressed into his side with your back, his shoulder digging into the area between your shoulder blades. You felt how he wiggled his bum as he settled before he let out a content sigh.
“So comfy. Are you comfy? I’m so comfy.”
Joe pushed harder into your upper back, and you gave a deadpan stare into space before you swore under your breath and tried to hit him, reaching for him over your shoulder. Playful this time, though. Joe was laughing, and so were you.
He caught your hand, which had no malicious intent, and helped you manoeuvre until you were both comfortable. You ended up with both legs swung over his lap, both tucked into the corner where even without a blanket covering you, it felt incredibly cosy. Joe let both his hands rest on your legs, one on a shin, the other just above a knee, and you took hold of one of his arms to hug, hand curling around a bicep.
“What’s this?” Joe saw a bit of rubber stick out from your pocket.
“Hot water bottle.” You answered, eyes not moving from the TV screen where you tried to read a bit of information on a film you thought looked interesting.
Joe frowned at it.
“Are you cold?”
“No,”
Then Joe frowned at you, stared at the side of your face.
“Just in pain.”
He only hesitated for a second, because ten minutes ago he was afraid to say anything, knew it would’ve likely made you attempt to give him an actual black eye then, but this felt like the moment he was allowed to bring it up.
“Are you on your period?” Joe asked quietly, voice soft and serious, but it made you huff a laugh anyway.
“What gave it away?”
You were well aware of how ridiculous you were behaving. But instead of making fun, Joe turned soft. Asked if you had taken any painkillers. If there was anything else you needed to feel better. If pressing his elbow into the hot water bottle a little, to give it some pressure, helped.
You ended up choosing a film neither of you had ever heard of, and after Joe nearly let you drop onto the floor as he sat up to get the mugs of tea, you settled in properly.
Everything was so warm.
The tea was warm, the heat coming from inside of your pocket was warm, and Joe was warm.
About twenty minutes in, Joe carefully took the empty mug from your hand and chuckled lowly.
“Are you falling asleep already?”
“No.”
You absolutely were. Your eyes were still open though, just slightly drooped and blinking slowly, but you were still watching TV.
You weren’t really following what was happening though, weren’t really watching. This was something that tended to happen when you put on a film that was more something of Joe’s liking, rather than yours.
“I’m not even tired.”
A lie.
Joe didn’t fight you on it though.
Instead, you felt how he turned to you a little before a hand snuck under, into your your hoodie and found burning hot skin, the soft flesh of your lower stomach. When you didn’t flinch at his touch, Joe softly pressed his fingers in and started rubbing side to side.
“Does that help?”
“Mhmm,”
It did.
Joe was a good flatmate.
His soft kindness kind of made you want to cry a little.
The fact that none of your ex-boyfriends had ever been like this angered you to no end. It had always just been mocking jokes and complaints, always stupid comments on how they couldn’t go near you for a week now. You didn’t know how that was your fault, exactly, but it always got treated as such.
It probably took about five more minutes before you’d dozed off completely.
Wasn’t your fault that Joe made everything so nice and comfortable, all warm and nice. You’d argue that the rubbing of your stomach Joe was doing, he solely did to make you fall asleep in the first place.
Which was exactly right.
Joe loved it when you fell asleep on him.
Loved the soft and gentle touches he got to give that made you hum with satisfaction.
Loved that somehow this was just what you did without it being weird. Well it was weird, but only in the best way. Weird without the need to discuss anything, without the need to have an awkward chat about what any of it meant.
It didn’t mean anything. Not in the sense people would probably assume if they knew that you spent your time together like this a lot. But it also didn't mean nothing.
Joe knew it meant something.
To him it did, anyway.
Just... something to be determined later. Or maybe even never. He wasn’t sure.
What he was sure about, was that he fucking loved it. Couldn’t get enough of it.
He could’ve just woken up from the longest sleep of his life, have the energy to power through several days without issue, but having you curl up all pressed into his side? You’d fall asleep so easily, and then what chance did Joe even stand? It would leave him just as drowsy. Nine times out of ten, he’d slowly drift off too.
Which is exactly what happened this time as well.
Your slow rhythmic breathing linked up, two lax bodies sagged into one another for at least a good hour, hour and a half. When you did finally stir awake, it was to the end credits of the film and to cramps that felt like something was quite literally trying to eat you alive.
You groaned at the pain and pushed your forehead into Joe’s arm, muscles tensed, coaxing you to double over.
Joe awoke with a sharp inhale.
“Hey,” he whispered. “You all right?”
“Fine,” you croaked softly, voice a little strained.
You were fine, you know, in the grand scheme of things. Just something you had to deal with in the moment, that you knew would pass within a day. Mostly, it was just very annoying.
“Need the toilet.” you frowned as you struggled taking the now cooled hot water bottle out of the large pocket of Joe’s hoodie and let your legs slide down Joe’s lap until your feet touched the floor.
Joe sat up too, and groaned loudly as he stretched in an attempt to wake up a little more. He blinked a few times before he yawned and watched you disappear into the hallway in his hoodie.
He decided then that he was never going to make an issue of it again. You could wear anything from inside his wardrobe, and he’d make sure to keep his mouth shut. He didn’t even really know why he brought it up earlier in the way that he had done.
You made your way to your own bathroom, your ensuite, where you kept all of your tampons. When you sat down on the toilet, you saw how you’d fully bled through... well, through everything.
“Oh noo,” you called out, loudly, so Joe could hear.
“What?”
“Did I bleed onto the sofa?”
The question echoed through your flat, and you only realised after the words had already reached Joe’s ears that you probably should have been embarrassed to even ask.
You realised then that you weren’t.
Which was weird. But, weird in the best way.
“Yea, a little,” Joe called back, and you made a frustrated noise. Getting period blood onto anything was sort of gross and annoying, but onto a light coloured sofa that was difficult to clean? The most gross and annoying.
That was likely going to stain, and then, from now until forever, you’d see that stain every time you’d sit down and you’d be reminded of that one time when you bled through all your clothes.
When you’d have people over, they’d see.
When Joe had people over, they’d see.
Mortified.
You were more embarrassed for anyone else to see a faint period blood stain than you were for Joe to see a fresh one.
Wild.
You hurried through cleaning yourself up. Found new underwear and leggings to wear. Double checked if Joe’s hoodie was fine, which, thank fuck, it was.
“Sorry, I know that’s so disgusting, I’ll clean that–”
“It’s gone.”
You walked in and saw Joe stand up straight from a hunched position, damp dishcloth in hand.
“There was barely anything there, it’s fine.”
Joe bent down again and gave it another rub.
You just... stood there.
Blinking.
Staring.
“You... you cleaned it?”
“Yea, sofa looks fine. Wet now, though.”
“You cleaned my period blood...” emphasis on the period blood.
Joe looked up, made eye-contact and slowly grinned at your facial expression. Then he shrugged. He didn’t think this had to be a big deal, because to him, it wasn’t.
You were flatmates.
You lived in each other’s flat.
Shared a living space.
Were close.
“Yea.” Joe said all casual as he made his way back to the kitchen, presumably to wash the dishcloth in the sink.
“No worries. Should we get a pizza?”
You confiscated it when he walked past you, though.
He wasn’t going to rinse out your bodily fluids, your vaginal fluids, in the kitchen sink.
That’s where you prepared food, for fuck’s sake.
That dishcloth was going straight into the laundry.
“You’re insane.” was all you could muster up in response to what you’d just witnessed, and Joe just laughed. Didn’t think he was being insane at all. Thought you wouldn’t shy away from cleaning his blood off of furniture if he got some on anything, so why would he be weird about cleaning yours?
You were close.
And sure, ask literally anyone else, and this would definitely be classified as weird.
But, Joe was all right with weird.
Because it was weird in the best way.
---
The Taglisted
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taglist currently full, sorry
#Joe Quinn#Joseph Quinn#Joe Quinn x You#Joseph Quinn x You#Joe Quinn x Reader#Joseph Quinn x Reader#Joe Quinn Fanfic#Joe Quinn fanfiction#Joseph Quinn Fanfic#Joseph Quinn Fanfiction#joe quinn x y/n#joseph quinn x y/n#icallhimjoey
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CALL THE SHOTS
the last part.
TW:DUBCON? DARK!OLIVER(it's literally him though so idk)slight reader x felix, but also oliver pinning over felix because no ones mentioning that??? reader and Oliver lowkey hate each other I guess.
I wouldn't even consider this as an x reader tbh.
minors dni or ill sleep with your dad
requests are open !!
Omg, i don't know if you're gonna hate me for this ending but i wanted to keep it as close to what i think would realistically happen, like no yandere shit. also this is not proof read im sorry.
my master list
2022, fifteen years later.
“He's dead! Oh gosh, he's dead, please come to Saltburn quickly. I don't think I can be alone” Elspeth trembles on the phone, her hands shaking with vigour, tears running down her cheeks. Just mere moments after the ambulance had left with her husband, she had suddenly felt stifled in her seat, the last one left.
You flee from Paris, fashion week can wait, Elspeth who had become more of your mother over the past years , more deserving of attention than clothes. With only a sea between you.
“Oh darling, Duncan has set up your room for you, I'm so glad you're here!” she smiles at you, her hair significantly shorter since you last saw her, she wears a button up shirt along with a pair of loose fitting blue jeans and a embroidered shaman jacket.
“How are you holding up?” you ask, voicing concern.
She smiles, nodding as her face drops down. You pull her in for a hug, she grasps you tightly and you smell her expensive perfume.
“Cup of tea?”
"Thank you, Elspeth. A cup of tea sounds perfect," you reply.
As she has someone prepare the tea in the kitchen, you glance around Saltburn. Flowers wilting and the familiar sights bring back memories of laughter, hot sunny days, drunken ramblings to felix. It's hard to believe that just hours ago, everything seemed normal.
The silence is heavy,
"I don't know how to go on without him," Elspeth admits, her eyes welling up with fresh tears. You reach for her hand, offering a reassuring squeeze.
"I'm here for you, Elspeth. Whatever you need," you assure her, feeling the gravity of the situation sinking in.
As the days turn into weeks after the funeral you manage to convince Elspeth to rent a small flat further in town, so you can return to Paris until summer.
Elspeth reluctantly agrees, and you find a quiet little place not far from the town centre, you help her move, shopping round antique stores for furniture that seemed more homely and lived in.
And suddenly Oliver is at saltburn again. Your really not sure what happened, one minute your back in paris for the summer, back to writing articles about the hottest shoes or sex tips for the older women and then Elspeth is calling you about finding oliver in a local cafe not far from her home , and she sends you a video of him saying hi over facebook messenger, he's still tidy, neat but that nerdish boy look is gone and instead the shadow of a more important man. You wonder if he still smokes, you wonder if he still drinks, you wonder if he still thinks about that night before venetia died.
So you head back to Saltburn, wondering what fifteen years made of oliver.
“No husband then?” Oliver peers down at your ringless hand.
“We got a divorce, no wife?” you stare at him, your lips pressed together careful not to smudge your Chanel lipstick.
He shakes his head and smiles eyes taking the whole of you in, he notes the lack of smudged eyeshadow and mascara.“ you haven't aged a bit, your hairs shorter but you haven't aged”
“It's called filler Oliver” you sigh,”where Elspeth?”you ask.
“oh, she's fallen ill, it's all happened very quickly, i'm surprised you didn't hear, lung cancer”
“Oh fuck” you drop your bag on the marble floor, clutching your head. “ It's just a Catton curse really isn't it?” you smile and Oliver wraps his arms around your shoulders, pulling you in for a short hug.
“Come on, she wants to speak to you.”
“Darling, they say I've only got two months” Elspeth smiles, her hair forming a halo around her head in the bed, she coughs and then takes your hand into her own. “ I want you to have the Saltburn estate.”
“Elspeth , i can't” your eyes tear up at the thought of her gone, and you sitting in your loneliness of the big house, “really, i can't”
“oh darling shush’ she hushes at you, her eyes gazing over your own, oliver stands uncomfortably in the back, “it would've been yours anyway, i always thought you and Felix would marry, i know you loved him”
“Elspeth”
“I'm not daft, i saw the way he looked at you too, ever since you came home for break when you were eight years old, i just knew”
“I-god i miss him, it's been so long”
“ i know, i know”
you smooth her hand with your own, nodding “okay fine, i'll take it.”
She smiles and grips your hand with all her strength. You look at Oliver, his face stoic.
Papers are signed, and then somehow, Elspeth's breathing tube is pulled out of her, by an insolent nurse, there's no lawsuit, you leave her at peace, her rock at the bottom of the lake with the rest of the Cattons and now your not sure what to do with the house. Stuck wandering the halls passing by Oliver, you want him to leave but you don't want to be left with the staff all alone, so you let him stay.
Elspeth's room is still filled with medical supplies. Your bank account is filled with hundreds of millions, untouched.
You're called into the Main room of the house by Oliver, you look around waiting for him to appear but suddenly there's a sharp pain in your abdomen that grows and grows until it’s an unbearable pain, you wince. Looking up to meet Oliver's eyes.
He unsheathes the knife from your body and clutches at your wound. Red seeps like spilled wine.
“Shit, i-fuck.” he hands flail pushing into your wound, you scratch at the pressure.
“Call someone Oliver, fuck that really hurts”
“Duncan! Duncan!” Oliver screams,his head cocks to the side. “ oh, he's not here.” his eyes darken and you're taken back to the night he kissed you for the first time, the way he looked at you like you didn't even exist.
“What?” you question, you feel woozy and try to anchor your hands behind you as you fall to the floor. But he hinders your movements.
“Don't you want to see felix?”he asks, eyes darkening.
You shake your head, “No, I- i want to stay here, what are you doing?”
Oliver's eyes flicker, a mixture of pain and resentment. He continues to apply pressure to your wound, desperately trying to stop the flow of crimson escaping from your body.
“No you don't, just let go”
"what," you gasp, your breaths becoming shallower ”t-he fuck are you talking about”
Oliver's expression twists. His grip on the knife tightens, his knuckles turning white.
With each passing moment, the room seems to close in, the air thickening with tension. Your vision blurs, and you struggle to focus on Oliver's face.
“Please Oliver, you're gonna let me die?”
Oliver's gaze softens momentarily, a flicker of doubt crossing his face. He glances around the room as if searching for an escape from the harsh reality closing in.
"Maybe it's too late," he murmurs, more to himself than to you. "Maybe I can't change who I've become."
Desperation fills the room as the seconds tick away, your life slipping through the cracks. Oliver's hands tremble as he clings to the last shreds of hope.
In a final plea, you whisper, "what you've become?oh my god "your head pulls back and you feel yourself slipping.
The room falls into a heavy silence as realisation settles into you.
“Did you kill him”
He looks up at your face, stroking your cheek with the back of his hand, you taste the bitter metal from your blood. Eyes flickering down at your wound, his hand still pressing into it with the knife in his grip.
“Marry me and I'll let you live,” he asks.
“Huh?”you shake in his hold.
“Marry me and I'll let you live, gotta make the decision now though, or I'll let you bleed out here.”
“Oh my god you're insane ” your bloody hand reaches for Oliver's face, you push it with all your force blood coating over his eyelashes making it harder to see, you stumble to the oak table in front of you, grabbing the candelabra attempting to smash it over his head. He rolls away, tackling your body, and you notice the adrenaline has kicked in because you manage to kick at his crotch. He winces in pain. And hits the floor to the side of you. You stare at him.
“What the fuck do you want” you shake your head at him.
“I want to marry you.”
You shake your head, “no you don't”
“i want the house”
“Oh my god” you laugh,” call a fucking ambulance Oliver”
He looks at you , as you clutch and your wound, he pulls his phone out of his pocket and rings for an ambulance.
a/n; im sorry if this is an underwhelming ending, but like I have no clue how to end fics and I thought this was just middle fitting.
Taglist:
@honeydewsmoothii @gothicwidowsworld @psychoenergy @kmmg98 @1950schick @freyasfox @domaniquessidehoe2 @possiblyafangirl @satrryeys4eva @callsignwidow
#oliver quick#oliver quick x reader#salt burn 2023#salt burn fic#felix caton x reader#felix catton#barry keoghan#salt burn x reader
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911 ep 706 first watch reactions
Buck and Eddie setting up the bachelor party are so funny. They're married to a degree that the bride and groom can only aspire to one day achieve. And Madney are raising a kid together! Then again, so are Buddie, and have been since day 2... (day 1 is forever Buck ogling Eddie at the station, and Eddie strutting his stuff for him, with Buck's now canonically jealou-traction being the, ummm, lubricant)
Oh, Tommy just arrived, Buck and him have done nothing but hug, and Eddie's already bringing on the jealousy jealou-traction. IDK what is the etiquette about bringing your date to a bachelor party, but what's the rule about bringing your hubby who's jealous of your bf?
Oh, and an extra jab at Buck bringing Tommy officially as his date to the wedding. I love me a jealous Eddie. My dude, your closet is shaking so hard, it's about to push you out of itself if you don't make the move already.
Okay, in all seriousness, Tommy not dressing like the 80's, Buck showing that he really cared about that silly party theme, Eddie rolling with it, the two of them being dressed more as a couple than the actual guys dating, Buddie seeing things so much in the same way (down to both seeing themselves as the same character from Miami Vice) while Buck and Tommy are totally out of sync... I love that Tommy is there to help Buck figure himself out, but also, this is the stuff that will forever keep me shipping Buddie.
I know the flashback is mainly to show that the bachelor party is Buck's idea, and goes against Chim's wishes, but Eddie suggests the couple costume? And Buck was so readily on board? Even when he knew Tommy would also be invited? This is my house catching fire, while I sit here, mumbling to myself how fine it all is...
Okay, everyone leaving the bachelor party, even the guy Buck is dating, while Eddie stays, sure is something. And by "something" I mean "a couple." That's a couple. That's Buck's partner in everything, even dumb ass 80's costumes and failed bachelor parties, he's the one who jumps in whatever stupid plan Buck comes up with, and stays to deal with the mess.
LOL And then we got some REAL mess. Again, dumb Buck idea, and Eddie just rolling with it. Making it worse even, by suggesting how to take the party (made up of people who don't even know the groom) to Chimney. These two deserve each other. XD
Buck was behind Eddie while his shirt was being torn? Presumably helping with the tearing? That's it, 911 does not want me to make it to the end of the season with my sanity intact. I guess it's good that I'm not even trying...
I'm glad there was a representation of Chim and Kevin, and a Korean tradition, I just hope it was a truthful one. (do we have Korean viewers in our midst to chime in on this?)
Maddie using her 911 skills to find and help Chim is pretty badass (and a nice gender reversal of the 'damsel in distress needing to be saved a sec before her wedding' tale). Love it!
Maddie and Chim looked so happy during their wedding. Honestly, at the end of the day, my little hopelessly romantic heart doesn't need more than that. <3
Awwww, the Buck and Tommy kiss was nice. I think the most important part of it is we got to see Buck for the first time daring to kiss another guy, rather than wait to be kissed. I may bbe a Buddie shipper, but I think this r/s is important to Buck as well, to his ability to find what he wants, to not be scared of it, to not wait for others to want him as was the case with all the women he'd dated, but rather figure out what he wants in a certain moment, and that it's okay for him to go get it.
(I still don't think Tommy is Buck's endgame, though. Much as his probably my fave Buck r/s so far other than Eddie. Tommy not being there for Buck when the bachelor party flunked, him not being there at the wedding itself, to share this significant moment with Buck, being almost incidental to Buck's coming out to his colleagues and parents, other than being a gay that was obviously kissed by Buck just a short while ago... Again, just not the stuff great love stories are made of)
Hen going, "Finally!" to Karen was funny and cute. Everyone (almost) just smiling at Buck's coming out was nice. But the way his mom reacted in particular felt more realistic, and made me wish that at least with his parents, who we know he has a strained r/s with, the should would have allowed this to be more explored. Hopefully in a future ep if not now.
Thank you for reading! If you're looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox
#911 spoilers#911#911 abc#911abc#911 on abc#911onabc#evan buckley#eddie diaz#911 meta#chimney han#maddie buckley#bobby nash#athena grant#911reactions#9-1-1#hen wilson#madney#118 firefam#fire family#karen wilson
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