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#but im happy with it living fully formed in my head

ghostgirl101 · 2 years

Note

Legit ANYTHING Corey related- im head over hEELS for that man rn

Im also a sucker for fluff ;)

Dating Corey Cunningham Would Be Like This:

A/N: Might as well start with the dating hcs 🙃 requests are open if you want more for this guy. Please keep in mind that I'm not comfortable writing smut yet though; I've noted that on my inbox page and pinned post, but I've been getting quite a few smutty asks 😅

🔪• Corey's been through a lot, and to find a person willing to give him a chance and treat him like a person who matters... I absolutely believe he'd turn into a soft yandere. He's head over heels in love, protective to the point of killing anyone who tries to hurt you or take you away from him, and obsessively infatuated. He lives for you, and he'd die for you, period.

🔪• You probably meet him when he's being pushed around by a group of bullies somewhere in Haddonfield, and manage to get them off his back for a while, with a string of hateful comments. The boy's stunned that someone's standing up for him, and when you help him get his glasses back on after they were slapped off his face, he's stunned all over again. It takes Corey a good minute to stop stuttering and staring at you with wide, dopey eyes and form an actual sentence to introduce himself.

🔪• When you take him back to yours to patch him up, you can't help but notice his breath hitch at your soft touches, such a contrast from the rough shoves and harsh words he gets day after day outside. Heart eyes to the extreme as you concentrate on stopping any blood, and apologise when it stings. Corey barely notices it, and when you pull away as you finish, he chases your hand for a second before he blinks back into reality, heat rushing to his cheeks as he looks down at his feet and thanks you.

🔪• He has no idea why you're so nice to him, but from that day on, he's hooked. You're gonna start seeing him randomly pop up wherever you are, and at first, you assume it's because Corey wants to have you around so it discourages people from picking on him. Nope. He wouldn't mind if he was kicked around, if you could lean in close and clean him up so caringly again. He's fallen hard and very quickly, especially when you reassure him that you know he didn't kill that boy on purpose. You believe him? He almost cries, and looks up at you in wonder, with a hopeful "really?"

🔪• Corey Cunningham has found someone that sees him as a person instead of a monster, and he adores that the person is you. It doesn't take him long to ask him out; it is hard for him to get the courage to, since he's worried that he might be going too fast and certainly aiming too high with you. Saying yes to him will just fully unleash Corey being the clingiest, doting, protective boyfriend you'll ever know. He won't let you go now that he's found you. If he can't have you, no one can.

🔪• He's pretty goofy with how he acts and what he says, but you've told him it's cute, so he won't try to change. Being with you, he wants to keep you happy all the time, and keeps you to himself as much as possible, just in case you start listening to what others have got to say about him. Whatever you tell him though, he'll try to remember as much as possible, so he can how he's been listening by bringing it up again or giving you a little gift related to it.

🔪• To be honest, Corey's a really sweet, doting lover, and he looks at you like you're an angel whenever you're close together, or just working around the house. He'll follow you around like a lost puppy, and has puppy eyes to match, constantly clinging to you and wanting to help with whatever he can. It could get a little annoying if you don't want a shadow around you all the time, but he wants you as happy as possible, so if you tell him your boundaries, he'll eagerly follow them.

🔪• Corey's obsessiveness grows the closer you get, to the point where he goes as far as to kill for you. After he runs into Michael Myers, he takes both of your hands and looks you straight in the eyes excitedly as he tells you that he's not afraid of people anymore, and that he loves that you're always there to protect him. But now, he wants to be the one to protect you. He loves you to death, and he wants to prove it. It's up to you to decide whether or not to let him deal with anyone that upsets you with his violent methods, but he can and will if you say the word.

🔪• If you happen to meet Michael Myers, he won't kill you, but he won't be all soft with you either. His idea of being nice is not killing you, and that's that. Gradually, gradually, he'll decide to protect you, even opting to lurk around in the shadows and check on you and Corey every now and then, like a twisted kind of father figure or friend. So, if you're ever in trouble, you've got Haddonfield's boogeymen behind you when you need them.

🔪• It's scary to see the level of protectiveness and unhidden anger in Corey's eyes when someone's rude to you in front of him, a dark glare in his usually kind eyes. Suddenly, they've gone missing, or they've died in suspicious circumstances, Corey not paying any attention to the news report as he hugs you from where you're curled up on his lap with a small frown on your face. If you ask him for the truth, if he did it for you, he'll shrug and nod, "Well... yeah, I- I did it for you. I love you..." and that's all the explanation there really is.

🔪• He likes taking you for rides on his motorcycle in the evening, just to feel your arms embrace him tightly and a proud grin on his face when he knows you're enjoying it. Corey tries carrying you back upstairs afterwards, which ends up with you both collapsing in a heap on the bed, and him engulfing you with a tight hug with kisses planted on every inch of skin he can find.

🔪• Speaking of affection, Corey can be pretty smothering with it. He's shy and awkward at first, but after hugging you for the first time, and having your first kiss, he can't get enough of your attention and affection. He'll drink it up with a lovesick smile and lean into all of your touches. He can show how needy he is by whining in protest whenever you break a kiss for air, and latches back on in a second.

🔪• The pet names he gives you can be the basic 'baby' and 'sweetheart,' but Corey calls you stronger, more meaningful names at intimate moments too. 'Angel' is a very common one that he coos when he wakes you up gently in the mornings, burying his face in your neck, or whenever you're cleaning him up after a fight or a kill.

🔪• The times when he's most vulnerable, when you've got him wrapped around your finger playing with his curls, he'll whisper to you how all of him belongs to you, that he'll do anything for you, die for you. He's being absolutely honest, and it's nice to hear, but sometimes, when your eyes meet his desperate, loving gaze, you have to tell him that you don't want him to do anything too extreme for you, that you love him just the way he is.

🔪• You can never just kiss Corey briefly before you leave the house to work or anything. He'll draw out any affection you give him for as long as he can, so it's a hard task to prise his hands off your waist with a promise that you'll be done with work soon. It often ends up with him trailing after you, holding your hand tightly and stroking the back of it absentmindedly with his thumb.

🔪• Being in a relationship with Corey Cunningham is full of loving attention, obsessively so, and to know that he'd go as far to basically go on a killing spree for you is nice in a weird kind of way? There's no hope of getting out of it though, because he's happily devoted to you now, and that's just the way he likes it. God forbid anyone who tries messing with it.

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tiredlilguy · 9 months

Note

Hiii :)

First of all, your blog looks so pretty! I'm really looking forward to seeing more works of you.

Secondly, could I please request relationship headcannons for Verlaine? Only of you feel like it of course.

Hope you have a great day/night!

Bye.

AAAAAAAAAA! thanks so much >:D i try to make it look pretty, i'm glad someone noticed tysm >o< this request is cute asf, so ty for requesting :D i hope you enjoy!!!

pairing: Verlaine X GN!Reader cw:desc: just some fluffy, romantic hc's with the silly french man mwehehe

oh my god, you finally got him out of the basement (congratulations)

Joking, but anyways

Im doing these hc’s of him post SB btw

he’s really sweet to you, but he probably doesn’t talk much

Will recite little lines of poetry that he wrote when u come visit him in the basement, sometimes sad, sometimes happy

But you’re his muse, the moment that you start frequently visiting him in the basement, you’re all that he find himself writing about

If you two are in the same room though, he probably won’t talk much, but he does enjoy your presence

He doesn’t mind if you talk though, he enjoys listening to your voice and hearing you talking about your day

Get him desserts when he’s down there, or just food in general; the mafia only gives him rations (and he barely eats them), but he’ll appreciate anything you get him

Love languages are quality time, likes to receives acts of service and strangely enough physical affection

Really hesitant to touch you at first because he thinks he’s going to hurt you for some reason, mainly because he has a hard time thinking that he’s worthy of human affection

If you touch him, he’ll probably go stuff at first before relaxing into it

When he did start initiating forms of affection though, he would probably gently put his hand over yours, or kiss you on the hand when he greets you

(Let’s say u somehow got him out of the basement)

He spoils you… he gets all this money from being a Port Mafia executive and so what's he going to do with it? I mean, you’re mafia too, but you don’t earn nearly as much as he does

You will be living in a penthouse on the top floor with way much more space that you actually need

He’ll get you luxury everything and anything, you have his credit card in your pocket whenever you’re going out by yourself and you don’t even realize it, he’ll just slip it in your wallet or pocket when you’re not paying attention

I can see him liking to slow dance with you, he’ll have a record player in the background and when you get home he’ll take you in his arms and slow dance with you

Can he cook? Hot take, but no. (Rimbaud taught him everything, just not how to cook), but I can see him being somewhat of a househusband (he cleans around a little bit and will get you groceries for dinner, but he cannot tell the different between a pickle and cucumber… please send him pictures)

If he’s not in the basement he’s in the penthouse, probably not doing much unless Mori calls him to go train another subordinate

He just likes to be at home, but sometimes he needs to get out of there too because he gets too much into his own head

If he is out with you though, he’ll enjoy going to a cafe or a library; somewhere where he can just enjoy his time with you whether you’re both quiet or talking

Or he’ll sit at the park with you, but only if there’s not too many people

He won’t be doing that on his own though, he’ll only do that with you

Is ok with PDA, but just hand-holding; he’ll kiss you on the cheek if he’s going to leave you for a second though

Likes to sleep with you on his chest, he sleeps on his back

Or he has an arm around you in some sort of way :)

will melt if you braid his hair/take care of his hair in any way-

Will hum lullabies to you, either consciously or unconsciously; he just enjoys being able to see you fully relax in his arms

And is happy to know that he’s not really a monster after all (aw, yay)

#paul verlaine x reader #paul verlaine bsd #verlaine x reader #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader

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fatmasc · 1 year

Text

Top surgery while fat!!!!

I got inverted T/anchor T top surgery on feb 13 2023 after many many years of wanting it. Heres some stuff i learned and dealt with over that process:

I live in a state where transgender healthcare must be covered by insurance according to state law. Despite this, i felt unable to try and bill through insurance. This is because the requirements for top surgery approval involve getting approved by a gender therapist who you have seen for at least a year and then getting approved again by the clinic you are applying to. Almost every trans person i know who did this had to reapply multiple times because theyre were rejected for unclear reasons. And if you get approved you are often waitlisted for at least a year bc there are only so many top surgeons in jn the state

Thats not even touching on how most surgeons have a low BMI barrier here, so i was more likely to be rejected by insurance through that alone (apparently the primary place ppl seek top surgery in my state has since changed this but it was too late for me)

I sought informed consent surgery (read: completely paid out of pocket) with a well-regarded surgeon. This guy was one of my least favorite people because his bedside manner was so dismissive and i was told to lose weight multiple times. If his nursing staff wasnt so awesome and i not so desperate i might have put off surgery to seek out another surgeon. This is a problem i have heard from multiple other ppl who seek surgery from him: he sucks but his results are good

On his initial application form, my surgeon lists his BMI barrier as 36. At consultation, he told me the hard cap is 40. I would be operated on if i was above 36 but turned away day of surgery if my BMI was 40. I spent the five months between my consultation and surgery date losing 30 pounds to make sure i could get this surgery

My surgeon is already able to charge a hefty amount because his practice is so well known, but that combined with a) recent inflation and b) his statement thay i would need an extra hour on the table and therefore more anesthesia meant i was charged even more! Compared to a recent quote from another person who saw him, i was charged about $1000+ more for my surgery

The operaton went without hitch and so far recovery has gone wonderfully. I was finished half an hour before expecred and the anesthesiologist only asked me if i have had past issues w anesthesia. As far as i can tell, my weight has had very little to do with that. It is super weird to feel nerves reconnecting but finally the way i look in the mirror matches the way i look in my head.

Im happy to answer questions ab top esp while im still recovering! Im still a little bewildered that its finally happened and i dont think itll fully hit me until i can actually get dressed on my own lol

#top surgery #transgender #.txt #weight loss tw

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gretavangroupie · 1 year

Text

Wilt (Chapter 2)

Chapter 1

Wilt Playlist

A/N: THIS FIC RELIES HEAVILY ON THE PLAYLIST LINKED ABOVE. TO FULLY UNDERSTAND THE STORY YOU MUST PLAY THE SONGS WHEN YOU SEE THE LYRICS.

WARNINGS: Angst, Smut, 18+ as always.

Three days. That is how many days it has been since the freak snow storm. Since you shared a bed with Jake. Since you kissed him. Since you’ve heard from him too. Your parting words, being ‘text me’, him replying he would. But he hasn’t. You try not to dwell on it. You felt something, and you know he did too. You have carried on with your normal life, wondering how his far from normal days play out. You resist the urge to text him first, knowing that if he wanted to see you again he would reach out, but he hasn’t and you decide to leave it alone. That evening as you step out of the shower you hear your phone buzzing on the bathroom vanity.

Jake: Did you give up?

Reading the message and trying to decipher what he is talking about you think for a second on what he is talking about. Playing it safe you type your response.

You: No.

Jake: Did you find a new teacher? I haven’t gotten a video in days.

You see where this is going, but you left the ball in his court last time you spoke. You aren’t going to let him turn this around on you.

You: Maybe I did…mine forgot about me.

Jake: He didn’t.

You: Must have been busy tending to his other students.

Knowing that was a ballsy response you hold your breath and wait.

Jake: He’s not accepting new students.

You: If he is not accepting students, why did he take me on?

Jake: Special case.

You: Well, then as my teacher you’ll be happy to know that I am still trying, but it’s hard. My fingers hurt and my hands are sore.

Jake: If it was easy then everyone would play. Show me what you’ve been working on.

You: If you want to see me then say it.

Jake: Someone is full of herself?

You: Maybe I am.

Jake: I want to see if you actually retained anything we worked on. That way I can decide if I should continue.

Okay, maybe that one hurt a little. Propping your phone up on your desk, you grab your guitar and record a short video of you playing the song the he taught you. You had been working it more over the last few days and you had gotten pretty confident with how it sounded. You attach it to the text.

You: Go easy on me, I am doing my best.

A minute or so later, he replies.

Jake: Beautiful

You: Yeah, it definitely sounds better than the last time you heard me play it.

Jake: Not the song…you.

You blush at his very obvious attempt at flirting with you. Your heart leaps into your throat and you throw yourself back onto your bed before regaining your composure and forming a reply.

You: You are just trying to get back on my good side…

Jake: Are you ready for your next lesson?

You: Im not sure, let me check the weather…

You laugh to yourself, okay that was a good one.

Jake: What you don’t like sleep overs?

You: I think it’s inappropriate for students to sleep with their teachers, don’t you?

Jake: Special case.

You: Yours or mine?

Jake: Come to mine, pack a bag.

With that your head is sent spinning. This is not how you saw your Saturday night going. You thought for sure you’d be on your couch with ice cream and a sad movie, eating your feelings.

You stand up and walk to your closet pulling a few things and throwing them into an overnight bag, within 10 minutes you’re packed and out the door.

As you pull up in front of his house you notice another car parked out front. Stepping out of your car you hear the muffled sound of music coming from inside the house, growing louder as you approach the door. It’s clearly a song with a lot of electric guitar. You knock loudly on the door thinking they may not be able to hear it over their music. Josh quickly opens the door smiling at you with a drink in his hand.

“Now its a party! Good to see you again shug! Come in!”

As you step inside the music becomes even louder. You look around the living room and you don’t see anyone. You follow Josh down the hallway and into a room you saw Jake go into last time you were here.

You now see that is a a music room. On one wall there are various guitars hanging and sitting in stands, electric, acoustic, you name it there was at least one. Next to that, amps and speakers set up in a configuration you’d never understand. There is large plush red rug covering the concrete floors, a small brown leather chair in the corner and a desk with recording equipment. Jake is standing with his back to the door, his foot is propped up on the seat of the chair, an electric guitar hanging by the strap over his body. Next to him stands someone you don’t recognize. He is facing Jake playing a bass. The guy is taller than Jake, but has his same dark features. He has long hair, and a slender build. His bare foot taps to beat of the song they are playing. It is incredibly loud and you wonder how none of them have lost their hearing yet, knowing this is likely a frequent occurrence in the house.

Josh starts to sing loudly next to you…

“Brother I brought you some silver, yeah I brought you some gold, I brought a little bit of everything to keep you from the gallows pole…”

This causes Jake to whip his head around and look at Josh, who scurries down the hallway laughing, leaving you standing there alone. A small smile leaves the side of Jakes mouth and without looking back he says “Cut is Sammy.” He reaches down and turns the volume knob.

As Jake goes to talk, Sam interrupts him. “Hi I’m Sam!” He exudes the energy of a golden retriever puppy, he has a soft and endearing quality about him. “Hi Sam!” You reply “I’m…” you start before he cuts you off, “Oh I know who you are, you’re the girl!” He says with a huge smile. Jake whipping his head around to give Sam a death glare. Sam’s smile dropping immediately to a thin line, aware that he has accidentally said too much he leaves the room quickly.

Jake turns back to you, “Hey” he says.

“Hi” you reply sheepishly. “We didn’t come in here last time I was here. I didn’t even know you had a music room.”

“Ah, yeah I guess we didn’t did we. Sorry about Sam, he has… no filter” he jokes.

“So you’ve been talking about me, huh?” You say in a flirty tone.

“No, he must have you confused with the other girl.” He says smugly.

Your eyes widen a bit and your cheeks flush as you look down at the ground then back up to him feeling a little embarrassed.

“Oh darlin no I’m kidding, yes! Yes, I have been talking about you! Jeeze don’t look at me like that. Break my heart.” He says running his hand down your arm, meeting your hand. He is warm. Warmer than last time by far.

Slinging his guitar off of his body he sets it down on the stand. You’ve seen that guitar before.

“Isn’t that the one you were playing at the shop the other day?” You ask.

“Well no, but also yes. Im a bit of a collector. It was by chance that I was even in there that day. They called me that morning that they got it. I collect that guitar. I had to go see for myself if they really did have one. Turns out they did, which is crazy. Its a super rare find. I walked out with it that day.” He says. “I got two rare things that day.” He pulls your hand bringing you closer and kisses your forehead quickly.

“Now where were we? Where is your guitar?” He asks.

Shock crosses your face, you completely forgot it. “Oh no, Jake I totally spaced. I left it at home.” You reply sadly.

“Look around darlin… take your pick.” he says.

You look around the room and spot a light brown acoustic guitar sitting in the corner so you walk over and pick it up.

“Ah, a good choice. That was my first.” He says gently. “Let’s go in the living room so we can sit.” He picks up another acoustic and follows you out of the room.

As you make your way over to the couch you see Sam finishing up pouring drinks into 4 glasses. “I made refreshments for the lady.” he announces.

“Sam, you don’t even know if she drinks…” Jake replies.

“The lady, what says you!?” He says in a gallant voice.

Laughing you say, “Sure Sam, thank you.” and he hands you the pink tinted cocktail.

Josh walks over and takes his place in the chair right in front of the couch. “Ahh, the ever elusive Salty Dog…” he says slurping the drink audibly.

“Good God man. How much vodka did you put in this?!” Josh remarks. Sam, cocking his head to the side looking at Josh, he whispers in a quiet but somehow still very loud version of his normal voice, “You saaaaid we needed to loosen him up…”

“Well that should do it dear brother.” He says wincing as he takes another sip.

You laugh at the interaction, noticing how uncomfortable Jake is beginning to get. “Wait you’re a brother too?!” You ask Sam.

“Ugh! Of course they didn’t tell you. They always do this!” He says dramatically.

Jake pipes in, “you could only imagine why. Huh, Sammy…” before leaning back into the couch and slinging his left arm over the back of the cushions. You lean back too, feeling his arm touching your neck. You sip the obnoxiously strong drink and know that it won’t be long until you are the one feeling ‘loose’ as Sam put it.

You all talk for a while, Sam is actually hilarious and truly does not have a filter at all. You have heard so many funny stories about Jake and Josh you could write a book. After a while, Sam decides to head home, gushing all about his fancy car that will drive him home, for him. Josh all but kicks him out of the front door laughing and heads down the hallway to his bedroom.

“You know, this lesson isn’t going too well…” you say to Jake.

“Yeah my plan was kind of derailed thanks to those horrible drinks.” He laughs back.

“I don’t think they were too bad, I mean they got you smiling and you’re definitely more ‘loose’.” You joke.

“What if maybe we don’t play tonight?” He asks.

“Im afraid I may fall behind and my teacher will no longer keep me as a student…” you say flirting.

“Hmmm, you may need some extra office hours to make up for it…” He says flirting back as he leans into you. His hand gently caressing the side of your cheek, his calloused thumb running along your cheekbone. “You are so gorgeous” he says softly.

“I think that’s the alcohol talking.” You reply.

“No. No it’s not, I’ve thought that since I saw you at the guitar shop.” He states.

You lean in and press your lips to his, fitting together perfectly. You note again how warm he feels, as you place your hand on his forearm that is close to your face. The kiss deepening, his tongue gently asks permission before you part your lips letting him in. Your tongue reaching out for his like long lost lovers. You can taste the vodka in his mouth. He pulls away suddenly, his lips connecting with the hinging point of your jaw. As he continues to kiss his way down your jaw line with slow nipping kisses a light moan leaves your throat. The sensation of his lips on your skin igniting a fire that has long been put out.

“Fuck, you can’t make noises like that” he says desperately. “I have half a mind to take you right here.”

“You think I am just going to give it to you that easily?” You say.

“No, I didn’t mean…I wasn’t trying…” he begins to stammer

“Jake relax, I’m just giving you a hard time.” You say.

“Oh trust me, I have got that portion covered.” He smirks.

“Is that so?” You reply in your sexiest voice.

With a smug look on his face he grabs your hand and places it over the bulging crotch of his jeans. Your eyes growing wide feeling the hardness underneath the fabric.

“Yeah, it is.” He says.

Just as things start to get heated, Josh pops his head out of his bedroom door, “Goodnight you two. Jake do you want me to get you up at 7?” He asks.

“Why on Earth would I want you to wake me up at 7?” He asks harshly.

“We have that interview to record tomorrow at the office… did you forget?” He replies.

“Shit, I sure did… fuck, yeah that is fine. Goodnight.” He says.

“Are you sure you want me to stay since you have to work?” You ask. “You’re not going anywhere darlin.” He replies.

“Maybe we should go to sleep at least?” You ask.

“I suppose we should, just as things were getting interesting too.” He says shaking his head.

Jake grabs the glasses off the coffee table and places them in the kitchen sink. Turning off all the lights and checking all the doors are locked, he lets you lead the way to his bedroom. Not a single thing has changed since you were here last. Even the clothes are piled on the chair still.

“Do you want something to sleep in again?” He asks.

“No you told me to bring a bag remember?” You respond. “Oh, yeah I did. Damn.” He says pulling his shirt over his head, revealing his beautifully tanned skin and signature coin necklace.

You are caught staring again. He smirks before slipping his jeans off, the remnants of his bulge dying down. He digs through the pile of clothes on the chair and grabs a pair of sweatpants and slides them on over his boxer briefs. You cannot believe that he is so comfortable changing in front of you.

You excuse yourself to his bathroom and put on the matching set you brought with you. When you come out of the bathroom he is already in bed, with his hair tied back into a messy bun. Just when you thought he couldn’t be more gorgeous.

His side table lamp is the only light illuminating the room, and it’s a soft amber type glow cast upon the walls. It feels tranquil.

He throws back the side of the duvet as an invitation to get into the bed. As you climb in you’re greeted with the familiar fluffy feather pillow you loved. “I thought this was your pillow?” You ask him.

“I got another one, just in case.” He says smiling at you. Pointing at the old one leaning against the chair in the corner.

“Hmmm, such a gentleman.” You say smirking.

“Ahh there’s still more yet to learn about me darlin.” He says pulling you into his side.

“Why did you invite me here Jake?” You ask, the words coming out before you can even think about stopping them.

“To tell you that I am sorry I didn’t call you or text you for a few days. I was thinking about you every day. I was trying to think of the right thing to say, but I kept coming up short. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore, so I asked about your guitar. Seems to have worked since you’re back here in my arms now.” He says against the top of your head.

Turning to rest your face on his bare chest he continues. “It feels like, like something is drawing me to you. Im not sure what it is yet, but I guess I am searching.” He finishes.

He reaches over and pulls the string on the lamp, effectively blacking out the room. You lay in silence listening to his even heartbeat echoing in his chest before breaking the silence again.

“Are there words? To the song you taught me?” You ask. “Josh said there are words.”

“Yeah, there are words.” He says gently patting your arm with the arm that’s wrapped around you. “I will tell them to you one day. When I can do it the right way.” He says with a sleepy voice. Not pressing the issue any further you start to succumb to your own exhaustion.

You snake your hand across his bare stomach and rub you fingertips up and down the smooth, warm skin.

“Jake?” You ask quietly.

“Yeah?” He replies.

“Kiss me?” You say.

He rolls towards you taking your face in his left hand and kisses you deeply and urgently for what seemed like minutes, even though you know it couldn’t have been longer than a few seconds. You’re sure you’ll never grow tired of this feeling that stirs in your stomach the moment his lips meet yours. Pulling away from your lips he whispers against them a hushed, “goodnight.” Rolling back over onto the comfy feather pillow, you reply “Goodnight.”

As morning arrives Jakes phone begins to ring on his night stand. Buzzing and ringing far too loudly for 7am. Feeling his legs slip slightly away from in-between yours he groans reaching over and turning the ringer off. Turning back to you, your eyes are partly open and staring at him. “Did that wake you?” He asks.

You smile, “Yeah Jake, me and the next three houses… why is it so loud?” You ask.

“If it’s not, I won’t wake up. Im a bit of deep sleeper. That’s why Josh asked me if I wanted him to wake me up. He knows i’ll sleep right through that shit.” He laughs.

“Ahhh the last thing I want to do is leave this.” He says rolling into you placing his face in the crook of your neck. “In fact I think i’ll just stay here.” He says, the words muffled by your skin.

“No no no, you need to get up and go be Mr. Rockstar today” you say running your hand down the length of his back stopping when you reach the hem of his sweatpants. It’s funny to you, calling him a rockstar when he hasn’t even truly played anything for you yet.

“I know, okay Im getting up.” He says.

Getting up he pads across the room and into the bathroom leaving the door cracked open. You hear the shower turn on and take that as your cue to get up and get changed into your extra clothes. You are dying to brush your teeth after all the alcohol last night. Not wanting to overstep, you sneak into the bathroom, the door was open after all, and quietly turn the faucet on to wet your toothbrush. You hear the water hitting the floor of the shower and try not to imagine Jake standing there naked as the water falls.

As you continue brushing, Jake must have heard you and peaks his head out of the shower curtain. “Spying on me? You know if you wanted to see you just have to ask darlin.” He smirks at you.

Opening your mouth with a shocked expression you reply, “I was not spying…”

He raises his eyebrows at you and closes the curtain back swiftly.

You finish up and make your way back into the room, packing up your few things you brought.

A few minutes later he is walking out of the bathroom with a grey towel wrapped around his waist, his hair roughly dried and hanging freely around his face. How could he be more gorgeous, you think to yourself. He steps into his closet and eyes through the items looking for something to wear.

“What does a rockstar wear to the office?” You ask jokingly.

“Well, that is a good question isn’t it?” He says “typically they wear whatever is clean and sitting in that chair. But I have run out of options over there, and must resort to my backup stash in here.” He jokes.

Pulling a pair of heavily worn, loose fitting jeans and a mangled looking button down, he turns off the light and begins to get dressed. You turn around as so not to invade his privacy when he speaks up. “You’re going to come with right? I can show you the office? It’s like a mini studio, the other guys will be there too.” He says.

“Do you want me to come? I don’t want to intrude.” You reply.

“I do, I think it will be fun. The interview thing should only take an hour at most, then we usually just fuck around until we are all bored and go home.” He says.

You both hear a yell from the hallway “JAKEEEE, let’s go man, we are already pushing it as usual…” Josh says.

“Lets go before he has a meltdown.” Jake says grabbing his things and walking to the door.

As you step into the living room there are 2 mugs of coffee waiting on the counter and Josh is standing there leaning up against it waiting for you both.

“Well, if it isn’t Mr & Miss Sleeping Beauty” he jokes, “Seriously though, we need to be there ready to go in 10 minutes, and I have it on good authority it takes 13.”

“Alright, you’re driving” he says to Josh. “And she’s coming with today, I want to show her the space.”

“Lets getting moving then.” Josh says with a smile.

Well, you made it in time. That is because Josh drives like a bat out of hell, weaving in and out of traffic and breaking all the basic rules of the road. You chalk it up to running late and hope that isn’t how he always drives. Jake and Josh burst through the doors of the building and run up a flight of stairs, you trailing behind them. As you enter the office space its a gigantic room, white with tons of various items hanging on the walls. Platinum record casings, posters, jerseys, a skateboard? In the center of the room is a ping pong table, across from it is a white piano, with various awards placed on top. A small drum kit sits to the side of the piano and a few different guitars on stands surrounded by couple of chairs. Jake leads you over to a couch and you sit down.

“Alright we are about to run into that room and do this interview, Danny and Sam will be here shortly but just hang out look around, make yourself comfortable.” He kisses you on the cheek before running back into the other room and shutting the door.

As you sit on the couch you scroll through social media on your phone and decide to type in the name see you across all the walls. ‘Greta Van Fleet’.

You pull up their instagram account and are instantly greeted with photos of Josh, Jake, Sam and someone you haven’t met yet but are assuming is the Danny, Jake just mentioned.

They look so different in these photos, all of them clearly in their element. You scroll a bit and see a black and white photo of Jake in a black hat and your heart nearly stops from how drop dead gorgeous he looks. An instant save into your photo library.

As you continue to scroll you see a few videos and decide to hit play on one of them. The music you hear is nothing like you expected but in a good way. A modern vintage sound is the best way you can describe it. You must not have heard the guys walk in over the music, because Sam pops up behind you, scaring you to death.

“Doing some research huh?” He says with a smirk. “Oh my god! Sam you scared me! And yeah kinda, I have yet to hear a single song. Jake didn’t even tell me the name of your band, I just saw it on everything here and decided to look it up.” You reply.

“He hasn’t played a song for you?!” He asks astonished.

“No, which I why I decided to take things into my own hands.” You reply laughing.

Suddenly who you now know as Danny is walking into the room.

“You’re not gonna believe this, but Jake hasn’t played her a song yet. She didn’t even know the name of the band.” He laughs talking to Danny.

“What? How is that possible?” Danny responds before turning to you, “Hey I’m Daniel, but everyone calls me Danny. Nice to meet you finally.” He says. Shaking his hand you introduce yourself and begin to chat about the cool space, trying not to think about how Danny basically just said that Jake has talked about you in front of him.

After a game of ping pong, and a tour of the office lead by Sam, he sits down at the piano and starts playing something you don’t recognize. He is insanely talented. You’re starting to think all of them a geniuses.

“Don’t tell Josh I played that, he will kill me.” he says shooting a look towards Danny who is shrugging his shoulders as he wraps a drum stick in black tape.

“Sam will you play one of your songs for me? What should my intro to your music be?” You ask.

“Daniel? What says you, which one for the lady?”

“How about Curtain? Seems like her style.” He says, walking over to a record table, and turning on a speaker system. Sam nod his head in approval.

“We never listen to our own music in here, I don’t even know if we have that album in here.” he says digging through a cabinet of albums. “Oh, I was wrong here it is.” He says pulling the sleeve from the album and placing the red vinyl on the player. He moves the needle to rest midway through the album, hearing the end of one song finish before the intended song starts up.

“Ah, a classic…” Sam smiles off into the distance clutching his shirt over his heart, as Danny rolls his eyes and walks over.

A smile crosses your face when you hear Jakes guitar and Josh’s voice begin to play over the speakers. It’s so weird knowing that they are just sitting in the next room. You tap your toes on the floor to the catchy beat of the song. “This is the one that really sent us here, kind of took off fast.” Danny states.

Just as the song begins to end the door opens across the room and Josh and Jake both look at each other confused as to what is happening.

“Why, are we listening to our own music? Do we not listen to it enough?” Jake jokes.

Sam places his hands on his hips and says pointedly, “Well, someone told us that she hadn’t heard any of our songs, she didn’t even know the name of the band Jacob…”

“I was getting to it… seems you beat me there.” He says crossly. “Curtain though? She’s definitely more of a ‘Broken Bells’ girl…” he says.

“Shall we show her?” Sam asks the group, everyone looking at Josh.

“Alright fine but that’s it.” Josh replies taking off his jacket and throwing it on the couch.

Sam disappears to another room emerging with a bass, and Jakes acoustic guitar. Sam hands the guitar to Jake as he pulls hook ups towards the middle of the room and plugs into an amp, and Sam does the same.

Once everyone is settled and ready, Danny counts off and Jake begins to play, staring directly at you. You think you may have melted right into the floor. Slowly the other instruments begin to join in and Josh starts to softly sing. Towards the middle of the song, Jake yanks the cord from his acoustic and plugs it into his electric sitting on the stand, and starts to absolutely wail on his guitar. The way he is manipulating the strings, touching them in such a way, you would think he is caressing the body of his lover. As the song finishes, you stand there absolutely stunned that they can just pick up at a moments notice and play, like that.

“I don’t even know what to say, I know I have been calling you a rock star facetiously, but now I am realizing that it’s actually true.” You say, “that was… incredible. I have never heard anything like that.” You finish.

“See I told you she was a Broken Bells girl…” Jake says jokingly to the guys as he unplugs his guitar and sets it back on the stand, the other guys packing it up too.

“That’s enough for one day I think.” He says throwing his arm over your shoulders, as you make your way to the door.

“How was the interview?” You ask.

“Ahh same as usual darlin’ they all ask the same questions mostly.” He says dismissively.

Deciding to leave it at that you poke into his side, “I can’t believe you didn’t play me any of your songs before now. Im a little offended.” You joke.

“I promise I was going to, but how do you segue into ‘hey listen to how good my band is’?” He laughs.

“I guess you have a point. I did look you up on instagram though. You all look so different on stage.” You say.

“Yeah we do it up pretty big for shows.” he says as he opens the door to leave the building. Josh walks ahead starting the car trying to warm up the inside. You and Jake climb into the back seat and Josh pulls away heading back to their house.

“Do you want to learn a new song when we get back?” Jake asks optimistically.

“I don’t know, do you think i’m ready?” You reply.

“Yeah, the one I have in mind is pretty easy. A good one to have in your repertoire.” He says smiling.

As you arrive back at the house Josh immediately puts an album on the record player, you recognize the opening notes immediately as ‘White Room’ by Cream. After a quick impromptu dance party in the living room with the guys, you and Jake go and sit in the music room and Jake tries to teach you a new chord you’ll need for the new song he wants to teach you. You are quite enjoying learning from Jake. He’s an excellent teacher, a big fan of showing rather than telling, which is your learning style as well.

He is sitting on the floor, and you in the chair. He reaches up and shakes your wrist out, “relax” he says re-placing your hand back on the neck, “If you don’t loosen this thing up your going to regret it over the next few days.”

Nodding your head in agreement, he then places your fingers on the strings to form the new chord. “Play” he says. You strum the strings and it sounds great.

“Good, remove your hands and put it right back. Do it a few times.” He says watching, only slightly adjusting your middle finger once.

He grabs his other acoustic and plays a the chord, plus a few others. Stringing them together slowly to demonstrate. Suddenly you recognize the song and your heart about bursts from your chest. He is teaching you how to play ‘Yellow’. Watching this beautiful man play one of your very favorite songs is something you commit to your core memories.

“Okay, try it. I’ll call out the chords like last time.” He says patiently.

As you play the opening notes a small smile creeps across your face. Who knew a few days ago that you’d be sitting here playing songs when you could barely get a D chord right in the shop. What if he hadn’t been there? Why do you feel so drawn to him now? Continuing to play the notes that he calls out you nearly reach the end, when you urgently stand up placing his guitar on the stand and squatting down to the floor you sit on his lap straddling his legs.

Reaching a hand up you cup his jaw, “Why do you want to teach me this song?” You ask staring directly into his eyes. His hand reaches up and grabs your forearm rubbing it up and down.

“It reminds me of you I guess, I don’t know…” he suddenly starts to get shy.

It’s not often Jake shows has shown you his shy side, usually he is smug and bossy, but when that wall breaks down a bit you see his true emotions.

Leaning over towards his lips you gently place a kiss right on the plush pink skin. He leans forwards kissing harder into you, almost like he was waiting for you to make a move on him.

You wrap your legs around his back and continue to get deeply entangled with each other right there on the floor. Jakes kisses completely intoxicate your system, every new kiss pushing you little further from emotional sobriety, fighting the realization that you are completely drunk for him.

Reaching his arms underneath your ass gripping your thighs he moves you both to kneel, and eventually standing, him bearing all your weigh within his arms. Jake is stronger than he looks carrying you out of the room, down the hallway and into his bedroom. Your lips never detaching from each others the entire distance, tongues melding together trying to become one. As you make it into the room your legs detach from his waist and stand weakly on the floor, he pushes the bedroom door shut with your body pressed against it. With both of his hands caging your head in he whispers into your ear “is this what you wanted darlin?” He asks in a sultry voice. “Do you want me to fuck you?”

“Yes.” You reply firmly, knowing that he hasn’t even touched you yet and you’re already burning for him. You don’t care how he does it, you just need him to. He leans into you, his hard length pressing into your stomach through his jeans.

“You want this?” He asks.

“Please…” You respond.

With that he is pulling your shirt over your head as you are unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his jeans, his lips plastered to yours, he moves on to your jeans unbuttoning them and helping you to shimmy them down your legs, you are standing in front of him in just your lacy bralette and underwear.

You grab the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head, showing his bare chest adorned with only his necklace. He kicks the jeans to the side of the room, and in one fail swoop he picks you up by your ass and throws you onto his bed, your body landing in the fluffy mountain of bedding. Kneeling at the edge of the bed, looking over you he takes in your body, in a way he has yet to see it. “Jesus…” he says. “Who knew that this was hiding under all those clothes.”

He leans over you placing open mouth kisses on your lower stomach. A shiver runs through your body and goosebumps begin to cover your skin. Your nipples harden in response to the contact on a normally untouched place. His head snaps up, “so my naughty little student wants me to fuck her huh?” He says. Your eyes widening at the sudden change of tone. Maybe he is as dark as you thought he was that first day. Playing along with his little game you respond. “Yes, she does… So bad.”

He continues kissing your stomach making his way upwards towards your face before stopping at the hem of your bralette. Dipping his pointer finger under the fabric and into a cup pulling the fabric down to let your breast spring free, before sliding his finger up the strap and pulling it down the side of your arm. He repeats the process with the other side, reverently kissing each side as he moves while you squirm underneath him.

“Eager are we?” He asks cockily kissing your neck.

You weren’t exactly sure when it happened, and you were only partly sure when it started, but your feelings for Jake had skyrocketed in the last twenty four hours. The pull you were feeling to be close to him in this exact moment was stronger than any pull you’ve had to anything in your life. You knew there was a reason you were in that guitar shop, and you knew he was supposed to be there too. You snap back to the moment when the stinging pain of his teeth connecting your nipple rocks through your senses. A moan releasing out of your mouth loud enough to fill the room.

Suddenly Jake jumps up from the bed and walks to the dresser, you sighing at the loss of contact. He turns on a bluetooth speaker connecting it to his phone. “Im sorry baby but there is no way my brother gets to hear those fucking sounds coming out of your mouth…they are mine. I’m going to turn this up and you are going to continue to make every one of those pretty little sounds, do you understand?” He says boldly.

You nod your head.

“Say it.” He demands. “Yes, I understand.” You reply, feeling your arousal settle in-between your legs.

“Good girl, now where was I?” He asks climbing back over you. The deep and electrically charged music begins to fill the room.

‘Gonna give my heart away. Leave it to the other girls to play, for I’ve been a temptress too long, just give me a reason to love you…’

As you lose yourself in the feeling of his hands all over you and the message behind the lyrics you come to when you feel Jakes fingers hook under the band of your underwear and slide them down your legs. Its not long before his hands are unhooking your bra and throwing it to the side as well.

“Look at you, doll. Are you wet for me?” He says running one finger between your slit. Eyes fluttering up at him, he purses his lips. “Say it. Tell me.” He demands.

Licking your lips you respond. “I am so wet for you Jake…”

“God damn. From the mouth of an angel.” He says continuing to explore your center. With a smirk crossing his lips, two fingers plunge into your opening and your body arches in response.

“So responsive for me, such a good girl. Fuck…” He groans. “My dick is absolutely aching for you, tell me you want me to fuck you.” He begs.

“Say the words doll.” He says.

“Jake please please fuck me.” You beg. Kicking his boxers from his legs, letting his solid erection stand free, he grabs a condom from his side table and opens it with his teeth. Never breaking eye contact with you he rolls it onto the length of his dick.

He aligns himself with your entrance and pushes the tip in, you moaning at the contact you have been so desperately waiting for. As he pushes all the way inside of you, you both let out a groan as you adjust to the size of him inside of you.

The music adding the the thrilling pain of it as the lyrics sing to a place deep inside your mind.

‘I know, I know, I know I never, never, never, never gonna leave you, babe…but I got to go away from this place…’

As the song pace picks up, so does Jake moving in a faster inside of you, gyrating his hips in a way he is constantly reaching your g spot inside. You clenching around him with each graze of the nerves. “Fuck you feel so good baby” he huffs out.

He begins to pound into your center harder and harder, the headboard making contact with the wall behind it.

His rough calloused hand finds its way to your throat gently applying pressure as gasp in pleasure. This is not something you’ve done before but you are immensely turned on by his boldness to try.

The restriction of air to your lungs adding to the fire growing in your stomach. “Oh baby you got that look in your eye. Im not done with you yet, you’re going to hold out for me a little longer.” He says slightly releasing his grip on your throat as your eyes begin to water down your face. “Say you understand” he says with gritted teeth. Barely able to breathe you choke out “I understand, sir.” tears freely falling down the sides of your face dripping onto Jakes hand.

“Look at those pretty fucking tears just for me.” He says with a deep penetrating thrust into your core.

“You are so fucking gorgeous like this.” He says thrusting again and releasing his grip on your throat.

Feeling yourself close to the edge you moan out his name.

“Jake, please I’m so close.” You cry, his lips crashing to yours stifling the words from being too loud.

“I am going to kiss you until the only name you can taste is mine. When you cry out in pleasure it will be my name that leaves this mouth, do you understand? I want to hear you.” He says, you almost cum from that statement alone.

Holding both of your hands over your head he drills into you faster and as deep as he can. His necklace swinging forward tapping your chin with every forward movement of his hips. Somehow the visual of this tipping you closer to your release.

“Jake i’m gonna, cum. Right now” you breath into his mouth. “Don’t stop” you cry.

Igniting inside of you like a firework, your orgasm rips through all the nerves in your body. All of your orgasms in your life not holding a single flame to this. Past lovers feeling like a dimly light sparkler compared to the full bursting firework happing inside of you.

“Fuckkkk Jake…” you say hitting your peak and digging your heels into his calves, your fingers gripping into his hair.

Jake follows quickly behind you grunting into your neck with each spurt of his release.

“Goddamn.” He says rolling off of you laying on his back. He has a sheen of sweat lightly glazing his tanned complexion, his chest moving up and down rapidly as he catches his breath. His hand feels around in the sheets searching for yours. He interlaces his fingers with yours and he brings your hand to his mouth kissing your shaking hand before laying it across his chest.

He takes the condom off knotting it and dropping it to the floor to deal with later. He pulls the heavy duvet cover up cover both of you before turning to his side and pulling you in to conform to his body. As you lay there with him he places a soft kiss behind your ear, saying all the things you both knew you wanted to say, but couldn’t. The soft melodies of Iron and Wine pulling you into slumber.

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coldresolve · 3 months

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I’m sorry if this comes off as ignorant, that is not my intention.

What is torture apologia? I haven’t been able to find a specific definition and it’s confusing for me. What does it look like in regard to the whump community? On top of that, what are some ways to avoid this in writing?

If you don’t want to type out a response to this, how can this be researched? You make some good points in your post about it, and I want to make sure my own writing isn’t based on stereotypes and misinformation about the subject. I am very, very new to the “whump” community, so I don’t fully understand the ways that torture apologia might be displayed in some of the popular writings.

Thank you for your time, and I apologize if this comes off as ignorant or confrontational.

hey no worries, youre not gonna offend me by asking a clarifying question. what pisses me off are the people who flat out dismiss everything i have to say without actually engaging with it. youre nowhere close to that lmao i promise

uh. i use the sexual assault r-word a bit here, because i just came up with a good rule of thumb that requires drawing similarities between torture and r-word, so. trigger warning if you dont wanna read that

there is no real definition of torture apologia out there, but i treat it in the same way i would rape apologism. and i actually think theres real worth in keeping with that similarity, because rape is considered a form of torture. so like. yeah

id go as far as to say you can switch out "torture" with "rape" in your story to see if the logic holds up, if you might be saying something you don't want to say. for example, "my hero tortures the bad guy, and this is framed as a form of vigilante justice", swapped with rape, uh, might not exactly be the sorta message you would want to send lol. your hero can torture the bad guy ofc, im not saying they can't, but you better be ready to grapple with the full fucking depth of morality of a situation like that

off the top of my head, things i'd steer clear of:

anything that implies that torture is useful for any purpose. torture just traumatizes people, that's about it, and it's dangerous to spread ideas about whatever imagined utility, because your average person has zero grasp on basic ethics - this is what turns your "useful" torture into "sometimes justified". a third of people globally believe torture can be justified "in some cases". like i can't stress how real this issue is

torture works as an interrogation method or as a way to obtain false/forced confessions (useful)

torture can be used to make someone obedient (useful)

torture can be used to change people's beliefs (useful)

torture can be used to brainwash people/control them (useful)

stockholm syndrome through torture is included in ^ (useful and also just. ehh)

any variant of the ticking time bomb scenario (useful + justification)

torture being portrayed as "scientific"; torturers being "experts" in the "skill" or "art" of torture (implies utility)

when the bad guy does it, it's torture; when the good guy does it, it's vigilante justice (justification)

there's a handful of ideas people use a lot in fiction that i wouldn't necessarily categorize as apologia, but which do still send a message you maybe should think twice about sending. torture victims/survivors being "broken", they'll never be able to live full, happy lives, etc. and there's also this idea that torture only negatively affects the person who is being tortured. i especially think showing the effects torture has on perpetrators is worthwhile, but that might just me having a weird fascination with perpetrator trauma. torture also tends to fuck up the organizations that use it, so

#asks #rape mention #torture discussions

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gigimarvels · 18 hours

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OLD POKEMNON GIJINKAS FROM 2023, IM NOW MAKING A NEW THING WITH MOST OF THESE DESIGNS (FEATURING NEW CCHARACTERS) SEE THEIR NEW UPDATED ART!! *this will be a long post* WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF GIJINKAMONS In this world Pokemon have evolved so much they have now taken a human form, Gijinka if you will. This story revolves around a group of gijinkas and some side characters that all reside within Cobblevale City. we follow 6 Individuals who work as one of the general teams for the Legendary Entei who is part of the city's "nursery sector" meet the team

Team leader, Tally-Ho or Tally for short Cetitan Gijinka Age- 32 Nature- Sassy She is very head strong and takes no shit from anyone but enjoys being the Dotting older sister of the group

Tox the second in command and overall "badboy" Toxtricity Gijinka Age- 27 Nature- bold he doesn't like getting wet, so don't rain on his parade has a soft spot for the Talonflame in their group named Ames has a band, enjoys music A LOT

Mochi the youngest member of the team and the silent little sister Pyukumuku Gijinka Age- 20 Nature- Quiet She sees both Tally and Tox as her older siblings, and will protect them with all her might she talks in sign language cause opening her mouth can be catastrophic Graham the Morgrem of the group ate her pudding from the communal fridge 3 years ago and she hasn't let him live that down she loves getting hugs from Ames

Umi the Loud heavy hitter of the group Breloom Gijinka Age- 28 Nature- Hardy Tally's Ride or die, AND LOVES TEASING THE SHIT OUT OF TOX Thinks Graham is a bit of a pretentious ass, but he wears his heart of his sleeve so she deals with it extremely protective of Mochi and Ames (insert they asked for no pickles meme here)

Graham the Shiny of the team Morgrem Gijinka Age- 27 Nature- Impish? Funny his nature says Impish but he acts more bashful when he's out in public? Graham has an everstone on him because he doesn't want to evolve even if it means he will never reach his full potential as a pokemon, he just doesn't want to deal with his families expectations shines in general are because of a virus, they need to use substance packets to keep their daily metabolism from dropping most shinnies don't try to become Arena fighters, but Graham feels he has something to prove he falls hard for a shiny Ribombee who's a receptionist at the battle arena.... "you sure you ain't bashful bruv?"

Finally the last team member and the newest to join Ames Talonflame Gijinka Age- 23 Nature- Jolly she moved to Cobblevale city from her small hometown of Whistleleaf village, she was personally invited by "Uncle" Entei himself she has a secret she can't fully share yet but in due time it will be revealed with her flame body she GIVES THE BEST HUGS, kinda oblivious to Tox's flirting

I'LL SHARE THE SIDE CHARACTERS IN THE NEXT POST!!! BUT HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS FIRST POST ABOUT MY MAIN 6 CHARACTERS!!! this is another side project I'm happy to be working on because honestly i love gijinka designs TO DEATH

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lvxybby · 8 months

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Our Messiah, Kai anderson x reader

3RD POV: you had recently given birth to your 2 week old baby girl, Jade. you were resting your eyes as your sleeping daughter was held in your arms. you tried so hard to sleep but it was either jade crying or paranoia keeping you awake. you heard the door open and voices fill the room before a loud shush quieted them. kai and everyone else stood before you, watching you hold your daughter. "you're dismissed" kai spoke in his regular plain voice. everyone exited the room except him. "hey" kai whispered as he approached the couch. you hummed as you held jade closer to your body. he knelt down and pet your head. he knows your completely drained from your mother duties. he honestly felt a bit of sorrow for you since you weren't sleeping at all anymore. it was really concerning to him. you and his daughter were his pride and joy. he would do anything to ensure your safety. "hey sweetheart" kai said focusing his attention to his sleeping daughter. he placed a small kiss on her forehead. "kai...?" you asked peeking open your eyes. "yeah?" he responded "is jade ok? is she still asleep?" you said with your eyes closed. "yeah...dont worry about her..." kai said with a smile. "how long are you going to keep doing this..." you said cuddling jade closer to you "what? keep doing what" kai asked. "y'know...the cult shit...im tired of constantly being put in danger" you said peeking open your eyes. "im doing this to keep you safe...to help us...are you not grateful for the work im putting in for you? the work im putting in to keep my family safe? the SHIT i do to make you happy!? HUH" he shouted. "kai please dont yell" you said waking up fully. "i never said that...its just im really scared cause...im worried about you too...i dont want you to get hurt or die doing some crazy shit! night of 100 tates? seriously kai! when you did that i was scared for my life too! i was scared you were going to kill me cause i was pregnant! i was scared you would get caught and go to prison! and im scared about the fact you talk to yourself! you scare me!" you cried out. your daughter woke up and began to look around. "oh really!? really?! i am perfectly fine! you are fine! i do this for you! for my daughter! for my job!" kai shouted. "KILLING PEOPLE ISNT A JOB KAI ANDERSON" you shouted. you stood up with jade and left the room. she was quietly crying now. you went upstairs to your shared room and grabbed the knife from under your mattress. kai kept it there for safety. you ran into the bathroom and slammed the door and locked it. you pressed your feet against the door as hard as you could. you heard kai chase you up the stairs and into the room. "open this door right fucking now" he said pulling on the door handle. you were scared. you cried with your daughter as you embraced her. you wrapped around her and sobbed. you were scared of your own husband. the man you trusted with every cell in your body to take care of your daughter and you, is banging on the door telling you to open it or he'll hurt you. "Y/N i'll bust this door down and fucking beat you! open it right now" he ordered. you pressed with your feet harder. you were shaking. you worried for you and your daughters lives at that point since kai was on the verge of insanity. you and jade were basically the only thing keeping him from going mad. you and jade were that tiny piece. next thing you know the door flew open and kai stood there. he was pissed off. but his expression changed when he saw you and your daughter sobbing. you were shaking like crazy and you had your daughter wrapped around you tighter than ever. you were hyperventilating like hell. you weren't able to breathe at all. you held the knife in your hands with a tight grip. "Y/N...oh..oh...god...i-" tears began to form in his eyes. his voice shook. "im so sorry..." he said. he reached out for you but you backed away. tears streamed down his face. "Y/N please im sorry" he cried. you gripped the knife tighter. you weren't going to risk your child getting hurt. kai sat on the floor across from you.

#kai anderson x reader #american horror story #part 2 soon

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vogelmeister · 1 year

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Do you know someone from the neverlands... like have you ever visited ? what's the origin of your obsession... if you have one and you just came fully formed with a love for a country so far away. I need to know. Please

*sits down like its a television interview*

*taps mic* hem hem

hi thank you for having me and im happy you asked. the truth is when you asked this question I actually received millions of small images in my head that struggled to form a full picture but i will explain this to the best of my ability. to put it shortly- yes i know dutch people and yes i have been to the netherlands, i lived there for six months. no i am not dutch.

i cannot remember really when my obsession started but i can say my dutchification started in September 2020 when someone ( @mikolasjosef ) showed me wie is de mol. It spiralled from there, due to reasons that I cannot explain, because next minute I was stalking their Spotify for Dutch music, buying a stupid dutch coin that I pretty much wear around my neck constantly and giggle when someone asks about, and buying 30 pack stroopwafels from costco. Maybe it’s because Jan Versteegh was lekker, but have accepted it and I am just here for the ride.

How else is someone meant to go from hardly thinking about a country to living in it to writing a play where a whole character is representative of your love for this country. There’s an origin story for sure, but I don’t quite know if there’s enough words in English to describe it.

*giggles and flips hair*

#thanks for asking #i just simply woke up like this dear new follower #but it is not the first time I have become unhinged about a country… germany is real. its terrifying #Germany was different bc i went and fell in love first #this is unexplainable #like I didn’t go to the netherlands first so it must have been a fair effort from my friend-

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fivveweeks · 11 months

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i am so crasy abt ur tweet abt verdante being a tragedy its like in my mind at all times. like ,,, im rotating it in my head, im so ruined, this idea consumes me u do not understand i am opening up google docs and writing a fic im morose im captivated i am making an ao3 account

like ur so right 4 that one banger

KYAAAA ON MY KNEES... i have so much feelings on it u have no idea. twitter doesn't let me go ham but since we are on tumblr let me write a goddamn essay on this

the thing is that yes i enjoy both verdante being a romcom comedy or a tragedy or anything in between. ofc we'd like them to be happy but part of me like to explore what would happen if we really stayed canon-compliant

and like. let's take a look at them both. Vergilius is canonly someone who's weighed down by his past sins (killing and assassinating and orphaning children), who fully well accepts that he deserves the karma that comes for him (like this man literally is expecting it and doesn't fight it), yet he chooses to drag himself forward bc if he doesn't he will sink into despair. he is full of guilt and shame. verg also seems reluctant to form new bonds which is understandable considering that he lost everything prior to limbus, and how he doesn't want to drag people down with his karma, at the same time it would be extremely hard for him to trust people due to the risks of betrayal and manipulation in the city. he KNOWS that kindness and empathy will be consumed by the city if they don't adapt (see leviathan and his thoughts on garnet) therefore anyone would be wary bc there's always a catch. vergilius is also extremely duty bound to restoring garnet and lapis and it weighs down on him a lot

now i dont see Vergilius as oblivious bc the man would obviously recognise signs of attraction from Dante. but vergilius, despite his harsh exterior, is also kind deep down or at least practical, so taking the above into account, in this scenario he would probably outright address it to dante that he has... personal goals. maybe dante will be sacrificed at the end for limbus company as a whole, maybe not, but Verg makes it clear that he WILL choose lapis and garnet over dante bc that is his responsibility. what he owes to them.

executive manager, he doesn't say, do not be a fool.

and to his surprise, dante just nods and writes him, "I'm aware. It's ok, I understand."

bc dante respects him. they respect his space and not push anything at all (alongside how they probably feel that they are not worthy yet, or that they don't want to burden Vergilius, bc c'mon they're stumbling through their responsibilities after losing their memory, work is more important than personal interest now), i also like to think dante isn't say, self-depreciating, but more like they've accepted that they have so much to live up to and Vergilius has something to achieve and they will not stand in his way, so they're content to just spend time with Vergilius as manager and guide.

and there's that. they don't talk about it after the day. nothing changes between them. they continue on as manager and guide.

the only exception is that now Vergilius is aware that Dante fully accepts that he will sacrifice them for his own goals. yet Dante is content to spend time around him and vice versa (he doesn't admit it)

and isn't that the tragedy?

vergilius, to be aware that something could have sparked between the both of you, yet you cannot afford to cross the line due to circumstances. occasionally imagining what it could had been if the both of you were actually allowed to. how should you feel when the other person still seeks you out and befriends you despite knowing that you will never pick them

and dante, getting the confirmation that you will never be picked and will be the third or fourth or whatever choice but that's okay. manager and guide is enough, you WILL enjoy whatever there is between the both of you without asking for more

personally, unrequited love as a tragedy is not effective to me bc it's not that hard to respect another person's feelings and not make yourself the victim.

the REAL tragedy here is being aware of the lost potential and what-could-had-beens, yet IN SPITE OF THAT theres the quiet acceptance and humble enjoyment of whatever there is between the both of them bc that's all they can afford. how fate and the city fucked them both up. yet they stay professional because they respect each other too much (to the point of suppressing their personal feelings for the other) to make this into a hassle

maybe dante dies at the end of limbus and verg would reminisce on what it could had been. maybe verg dies and dante occasionally recalls the little moments they get to spend together. maybe they both die. maybe they both live but they walk a too different path to ever converge again. maybe we slap canon in the face and let them survive or meet up again in the future.

whatever it is, i just really enjoy the sweet sweet pining between the both of them throughout limbus company. the horrors of Knowing. i'm going to bite something

#chatter #limbus company #verdante #yes i am insane i am aware #i don't know if i phrased it as well as i wanted to but i want this out of my brain rn #basically verg tells dante bc god forbid them if they allow personal feelings get in the way of work #then he gets stunned when dante is alr fully aware of it yet they don't let it affect them #so now they're both stuck w the curse of Knowing #verg wise i can see a scenario where he actually slowly gets charmed by dante after this #but does it even matter bc he cannot do anything about it #augh i'm going to lay down #if u write a fic on it just know i will explode myself

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venusandsaturnsrings · 1 year

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(first time asking anything on tumblr im real nervous) MY BRAIN IS THINKING,, i just found ur incel fics n im in love !! the cannibalism n drugging fic got me thinking,, what abt childe lobotomizing u so u cant think of anything else but bein his lil housewife, kyaaah im so sorry if this is stupid- its like 5am idk if im thinkin straight anymore,,

EEEEEE im so honoured to be your first tumblr ask hehe... hopefully this lives up to your love for my previous fics… cannibalism and drugging my beloveds <33 i love gross and horrifying evil men!! lobotomy has been on my mind believe it or not (>﹏<) enjoy!!

contains: incel themes, lobotomy ofc, abuse, manipulation, actual angst?, he regrets it lol

compliance wasn't close to Ajax's top priority. he was never one to shy away from a good fight and blood flowed to both his heads when he got one from you; he enjoyed your defiance. so why this was the route he took was unknown to even himself.

being tied down and naked wasn't new to you. it was rather common considering the relationship between yourself and the ginger in front of you. his knots were always well done and you couldn't get out no matter how hard you tried and this night was no exception. perhaps he was a bit inebriated and perhaps you shouldn't have pushed his buttons so hard. regardless, decisions had been made and there was nothing that could take back the words that had been spilled and the feelings that had arose. Ajax had always been a little bit off in every manner of life. he could only hide parts of it well and anyone that spent any amount of time with him could tell he wasn’t quite right. his mannerisms were odd to say the least. smiles that never reached his eyes, a lack of tenderness, minimal empathy… the list went on. oftentimes you felt as though he was something beyond human cursed to live in a body that wasn’t his own. a form manifested by punishment of divine will. he was the feeling of air too thick to breathe, grass sharp to the touch, and bones of prey left to rot in forests torn through by flames. Ajax was a tsunami formed by waves of violent nature; something to be feared, not loved. but you learned to care for him nonetheless. maybe it was his crushing presence that molded you into someone or something that couldn’t live without.

the room was cold but his hands were warm. caressing you all over he attempted to soothe your nerves but it did little to relax you. he whispered words of praise and coos that seemed more demanding that loving. you needed to relax and let him take the reins. it won’t hurt that much and you’ll feel far better afterwards than you ever had before. his hands wiped down your face with more care than you expected to come. the gauze soaked in liquid smelled like alcohol and had your eyes watering. with gloves and shaking hands he pulled your lips up into a smile saying that you’d always be happy from now on. Ajax pulled out a metal rod and lined it up with the inner corner of your eye; you felt more fear than you ever had before. you expected he was to blind you. to make your last moment of sight his face.

pushing the rod through and past your eyeball, you whimpered. the slow sliding wasn’t painful but you felt the pressure. every time you blinked he advised not to but with the intrusion you couldn’t help it. the pressure built up the further the rod went in and as he began swirling and poking it back and forth. drool dropped down your chin and he momentarily ceased his movements to lean down and lick it up before planting a wet kiss to your lips. soon enough, he retracted the long piece of metal and you were finally able to fully close your eyes. Ajax planted a soft kiss to each of your eyelids.

something wasn’t quite right and you knew that but you couldn’t place it. as the suffocating pounding in your head stopped, so did the terror and worries. the shift in your expression and body language must have been noticeable based on the pleased demeanour that decorated Ajax. he untied you with gentle hands and scooped you into his arms. with promises of washing you up and laying down for bed he carried you through the house. the bath you took was warm and the bed you laid in was comfortable. you curled into his body softly and pliantly much to his enjoyment. soft kisses were placed over and over again to the crown of your head and your nose before you finally fell asleep.

the next couple weeks were spent following his orders and clinging to his body at every chance. you gave Ajax pretty smiles and hung onto his every word. at first, his chest felt full at the change in behaviour. but slowly… he found himself missing who you were before. he had smothered your spark with his own hands for fear it would turn into a flame. you were no longer yourself and he mourned for the times he had before. rarely did he cry but on many nights you’d awake to his soft sobs. with worried eyes and soft hugs you’d ask what was wrong and how to help. he wouldn’t tell you for many moons but eventually he let out a soft mumble. ‘i miss how you were before.’ you didn’t understand. how you were before? i’m not any different, you responded with confusion clear as day and pain covered his face.

“you wouldn’t know the change. i did this to you, i’m the problem.”

#cw: lobotomy #cw: abuse #angst #cw: incel behaviours #this was a nice change of pace hehe #chit chats #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #genshin x you

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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 9 months

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I vibe with hyperfixating w/ characters. To varying degrees I’ve fixated on: Armin from AOT for a while, 1D had a DEATH GRIP on me for a few years, (SEVEAL book characters through my teen years)I had an Alucard from castlevania fixation for maybe 3 ish years (‘ending’ only recently) and now Hobes lives in my head rent free ngl.

I get the “being sad cuz you can’t meet them” part, I’ve felt it. I try to not daydream TOO much cuz otherwise it takes over my life and I’m doing a considerable effort to live OUT of my own head, but BOI do I LOVE just daydreaming about my blorbos of choice.

I don’t speak too much about it (mostly the daydreaming) cuz to an extent it feels like a “me thing” (like something I don’t wanna share with anyone cuz it’s special to me), but if given the chance I DO info dump on my fixations.

I don’t think it’s cringe, not at all. These things are stuff that helps us process the world and our experiences with it. I believe everyone has sensitive weird shit that they don’t talk about, but if there’s something Ive learned is that we hardly ever have completely unique experiences. Most people just hide their oddness. Fandom being a prime example of how much our blorbos can mean to us. I think it’s okay and normal. (Until it goes overboard and people send idk violent messages to others because they headcanon something differently idk, the unreasonable stuff imo)

Can’t believe our of everything people would dare to make JOY and INTEREST the things with negative connotations. Being mean should be cringe, being a bully should be embarrassing. But unashamedly enjoying stuff?? That’s wonderful.

Anyone too embarrassed of their own vulnerability that they deal with it by making others feel bad about their interests are the most immature out if all of us.

Joy is everything that’s good with the world.

Even just seeing the letter 1D makes me wanna scream (in a good way!!) cause it takes me back to high school lol 1D was a bit older than me so my grade had Mindless Behaviour (does anyone remember them, where they even popular) but I remember the days where 1D was like the definition of summer songs

And I can totally understand the 'me thing'. Like I never really spoke about it but I felt like I knew my daydreams were more substantial or vivid than the 'average person' so to say.

Or when I spoke about characters to other people, I understood that neurotypicals likes characters, but they often didn't see them as fully formed 'persons' in the way I do - as to say, they didn't speculate or see emotional backstory, connections, or their behavior the way I did.

I never really shared any of my daydreams because like - I can't even get into it that's like asking someone to explain Star Wars to someone who doesn't even know space travel exists.

I grew up in a time on the internet where self-inserts and OC were seen as cringe, and someone would be very quick to call out 'Mary-Sue's (or flawless OCs) whenever they could.

It's not like that now - but in juxtaposition to canon x canon shipping, that bias is still there I feel like. Like it, as a work of fandom art has less 'value' that art or fics of canon only characters

It kinda bums me out still.

I think OC and daydreams and self-indulgent inserts are all the best part of fandom because it's the purest way of fans connecting with content on a personal level.

I'm happy that I see more people pushing back on that lately. Like after years of seeing people viciously hate furries when most of them seem like very nice, fun people, it's refreshing for people to be like 'nah, actually this thing is cool. and im gonna spend of time and/or money on this thing cause i makes me happy;

like you remember when the new Star Wars movie trailers came out and that dude reacted to it and he was moved to tears and people made fun of him??

yeah fuck everyone else that dude knows whats up.

Like yes, openly cry to your faves. Fantasize deep meaningful daydreams that help you process your feelings. Draw your OC with them, or learn every single thing their is to know about them.

That's why I wanted to talk about this. Because I've never heard it spoken about before. Maladaptive daydreaming, yes - and that can be harmful. But I hardly ever hear people talk about the basic mundane experience of it - or even how it can enrich our lives and help us emotionally develop of neurodivergent people.

When I think of it that way, it's something that makes me happy. I don't think I'll ever be able to describe it fully, and that's the point. Our stories are private to us, not because theyre embarrassing, but because they're so us that to even describe it would like describing a new world top to bottom

I love it. It's what makes humans humans.

#Thank you for this!!! Reading this is like living on planet Earth for once like yess!!! You get it!!#neurodivergency #neurodivergent #actuallyautistic #actuallyaudhd #actuallyadhd #adhd #autism #audhd #character fixations #hyperfixations #cringe culture

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toestalucia · 17 days

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I STILL have not watched versus&rising im gonna be honest with u BUT heavy heavy heaviest rising spoilers <33333333 (also main story spoilers

anyway im actually kind of worried about dad considering uh. rising casually having mom lore. like. 'i am your mother'. can u imagine releasing rising right after the most devastating story chs in gbf & us going to estalucia next update and being like 'hello heres ur mom. things are Not great and the implied dialogue is Hell'. fully understand all the 'rein.....O_O' comments they made on the rising streams JKBKADJD I GET IT NOOWWWWW (<-when it was released and my friend dm'd me asking me if i want spoilers)

like im sincereeeelllyyyyy hoping he's okay-ish but its also? if he went to estalucia for mom id like that. he returned to zinkenstill with a baby, and then left like 6-8 years later. i admittedly dont think he'd leave on a whim (theres also the part of how much happened ~10yrs ago). was the otherworld involved. was the kings eye involved. was mom dead before he returned to zinkenstill or. what is different in our timeline compared to the others (i saw one of the rising trailers and they use the bg art for the tree violet knight sits on in one of reins visions(??????)..................)

sorry risingers who r screaming that this is readily available knowledge IM GONNA WATCH THE STORY THIS MONTH I PROMISE i wanna pick up rein. i alrdy told kaitlyn that. but ill make it a separate blog cuz what the hell that is a SPOILER. but depending on it i might pick up dad too <-captain obsession

beyond hilarious baha made her goth tho. rein u r so fkng cool i love mothers u never couldve prepared me for mom to appear in the SIDEGAMES. theres a gran @ mom thing i rly wanna write. because to me theres certain things that gran doesnt want to hear from their parents? like..what happened happened.

GAMERS WHERE IS MY NOTES OF WALFRID TALKING ABOUT MOM had to grab it myself again

Walfrid: There's one more thing I need to apologize to you for. In all this talk about your father's journey, one piece of the puzzle has never been mentioned. You know what that is, don't you? I'm referring to your mother.

Walfrid: Yes, I know her very well. She was another great friend on our journey. In fact, she set off on the journey with your father right from the start. Gran: What kind of person was she? Walfrid: She was a compassionate woman, coming from a line of maidens who worshipped the god of the Sky Realm. Katalina: What? Then the maiden who sent Vyrn was… Walfrid: Yes, her. She lived in the same area as Gran's father. She grew up with her parents and younger sister in happiness. But then an incident compelled them to Vyrn and leave. (Taking cause and effect into consideration, this all dates back to when the sky was formed…) Vyrn: …? Walfrid shakes his head as if to dismiss his idle thoughts and returns to the topic at hand.

Walfrid: I have my reasons for not wanting to discuss that woman in too much detail. The truth is I don't know anything about her at present. As in I don't know where she is or what she's doing. I don't even know if she's safe.

Walfrid: But I have a feeling you will meet her at some point as your journey unfolds. You should prepare yourself for when that day arrives.

dialogues that lives in my head at all times

#stardust speaking !#gbf spoilers #gbf versus rising spoilers #sorry ill be normal now

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laurmaus · 2 months

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My twitter rant thread j didnt even read before posting any of this it’s in my personal priv hold on let me get the context photo i started writing before she even opened her MOUTH to elaborate sorry im very passionaye about this

ALL OF THE ABOVE IS FUCKING FRAZY. WHAT THE HELL DO U MEAN U WANT TO WAIT TO GET TO KNOW HIM MORE DO U REALIZE HOW SRUPID THAT SOUNDS THE GARROTH OPTION US STUPID TOO HOW IS HE ETILL IN THE OICTYTR IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM He has been by your side for AS LONG AS HES KNOWN YOU literally every single waking moment he’s spent dedicated to protecting you and making you laugh and Smile and like yeah that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to like him back but to say you want to get to know him more first is fucking insane you know EVERYTHING possibke anout laurance you’ve known him since before he was a shadow night you’ve stayed with him by his bedside while he was blind you saw him change hair and change eyes and become your friend your guard your right hand man he lived with you when the threat of okasis and scaleswind came to light he was the ONLY ONE you could trust when the amulet was discovered while garroth was too busy being brainwashed you two went out and GOT SHIT DONE He’s given his heart out so many times risked his life loo ked after malachi been a shoulder to lean on im dead seriois when i say NO ONE ELSE in this entire series has done this much for aphmau like even in the stupid non canon short stories you can See how much he cares and values her so much more than just a love interest but a friend he’s always cared and remembered small insignificant things about her when NO ONE else did like that fall was her favorite season or that she really liked mash potatoes when he found out garroth had a crush on her he literally tried to help SO MANY TIMES FULLY KNOWING!!!!!what it would mean if his attempts actually worked like he is not a jealous person thats the whole point of the SPEEL HE GAVE TO GARROTH IN THE IRENE DIMENSION laurwnfe is completely willing to give his own chance of a romantic relationship up in exchange of helping his friend he says in the beginning of season two i think like oh even if you do get with someone else i know you don’t love me just please let me stay by your side CAFENZA SAYS IT TOO he’s always putting aside his own happiness to see aphmau happy and yeah that’s really sad and unhealthy but watching his light hearted character slowly be warped into one whose jealous and impulsive and puts his own judgement in the moment above the safety of others is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of everything he stands for oughhhhthat just makes me mad and c aphmau is a BITCH for acting like shes in the middle of this super crazy unexplainable situation while all of this is happening like WTF R U TALKING ABOUT I want to wait to get to know him more WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO KNOW????????GENIUENLY LIKE AM I MISSING SOMETHING HERE and WHY is garroth still in the roster am i crazy for not getting that either HOW CAN USERUOUSLT BE CONSIDERING THE MAN WHO IS SO INSECURE HE ISOLATED HIMSELF ABANDONED YOU AND YOUR VILLAGE AS HEAD!!!GUARD!!!!! All bc he thought you got with laurance WHICH SHE LITERALLY DID BTW but thays besides the point garroth has ACCEPTED he can’t be with aphmau and to bring the whole catalyst of the s1 finale back a quarter into the next season is weird especially when it wasn’t acknowledged while the situation itself was happening Dragging garroth back as a love interest was weird to me i geniuenly dont get it but maybe tbats bc im really bias?????? Maybe i don’t see something here but idk i think the whole game laurance is waiting to play when garroth is saved is weird and not a situation aphmau should be allowing like girl stand up😭 Why is she agreeing to wait for garroth to see “who she chooses” do u realize how fucking insane that sounds i don’t know if i’m explaining this jna way that makes sense ok im tired of writing this BRING OLD LAURMAU BACK🔥🔥🔥🔥

#IF IM WRONG IM SORRY i typed straight from my heart i am open to changing my mind abt whateve maybe km missing sometning here #oughhhh #aaugghhnooooo Nooooo laurmau😭😭😭😭😭

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inkyducks · 2 months

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HIII!!! SO, IVE BEEN GONE AWHILE. BUT. I MADE SOMETHING.

A MY LITTLE PONY PERSONA/OC. ^^

(please ask questions about them I'm more than happy to answer any. I will be making more content with the OC soon.)

Kip is the god (vessel) for the overlords of MLP. He represents creation and destruction in general, and is there to balance the MLP universe's.. 'pizzaz'. They work together with Discord to keep everything to a certain level of 'controlled', just so everything doesn't fall apart and break. They are a chaotic neutral, but won't partake in most of Discord's mess. They prefer to be anonymous during their work, though they helped create the Sirens, Queen Chrysalis, and King Sombra entirely on their own.

Before Kip was created, they were made of the water from the river pool, formed from the seaweed and sand at the bottom. The overlords dried them out and gave them magic, which is why they slowly formed fully. At first they had white splotches here and there from not forming fully. This left blank parts in their personality and emotion traits, it also left them vague of their purpose and actual meaning to survive, leaving the shell of a child in a constant depressive and disassociated state of mind. Once the magic started circling their body they gained black splotches that covered their white splotches, which slowly gave them a basic personality and their powers. Small sparkles of colorful light guided them through their discovery to help maintain and raise them to their full potential. Once they turned 16 they were introduced to their true powers and purpose in life, which led to their discovery of their 'cutie mark'. During this time though Kip made their own personal creations and started to experiment and mess with the basic mortal lives.

Kip (currently) is over 10,000 years old in pony years, but in their overlord/immortal years their are 17. They have slightly fluffy but unkempt dirty blond hair, with small off white highlights on their front bangs. Parts of their body is still an off white color, but is mostly a light brown to represent the bottom of the Mirror Pool. A small yet very noticeable floating crown with the elements of the sky is atop of their head to atleast try and set a basic status for themself, but mostly is for decoration. They have a slight obsession with ducks which led to them simply creating a small duck hair clip during their fifth birthday. They have medium sized wings that also have block splotches of feathers intertwined within them. Three sparkles of light follow them everywhere in the primary colors, guiding and raising them. Each color representing the colors that make up light, or creation in this case. Because they were formed by magic, they also have small barely noticeable sparkly particles that represent stars that follow and show everywhere they go. They have milky sky blue eyes that have hints of gray tinted along the rims.

Kip's likes: Creation, destruction, creativity, ducks, outer space, the overlords, Queen Chrysalis, Discord (platonically), water, pillows [specifically the fluffy ones.]

Kip's dislikes: Princess Celestia, loud noises, the Mane Six, all forms of rude people [this includes people/ponies who discriminate anything], mirrors, pretzels (of any kind)

Questions I asked myself:

Q: What would it take to 'break' Kip? A: Their realization that their entire existence is pitiful and meaningless.

Q: What's the best thing in Kip's existence? A: Their guidances.

Q: What is the worst thing in Kip's existence? A: The Overlords

Q: What sexuality is Kip? A: Kip is pansexual, and demisexual. (Self insert be like)

Q: Does Kip care about their creations? A: Kip only cares for the original forms of each of their creations. Extras/descendants, such as Twilight, are not as important to them.

ANYMORE QUESTIONS FEEL FREE TO ASK! IM HAPPY TO SHARE ANYTHING ABOUT THEM!

(please ask for permission to use my OC)

#art #ibispaint art #sillyposting #writing #archive of our own #my art #my little pony #my persona #oc art #oc #original character

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corruptedplaylist · 6 months

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act i behind the scenes

hi hello, welcome to a little bts for my voltron college au fanfic, looking out for you on ao3!

favorite scene: the ending of chapter 5, actually! i remember i was typing as fast as i fucking could to try and get it done and sent to my beta (i was also holding my family up for dinner lmao). the last few paragraphs where keith reflects on how far he's come and lance catching him in his own head— that just kinda poured out of me and after going back and rereading it, i don't think there was ever a different way to end the chapter.

favorite character: copout answer but i dont have a favorite character to write. i have a huge soft spot for canon lance and pidge but in the fic, i love the small moments where lance or keith are interacting one-on-one with each other or with other people. i feel like i can really dig into the characterization there. hunk and lance's dynamic has been really fun for me to write because i am so soft at the thought of childhood best friends who have seen each other in almost every version of themselves and know each other in and out. i think hunk and lance stabilize each other pretty well, and they just seem to exist as two sides of the same coin. i also really enjoy pidge's dynamic with lance because it reminds me of two of my friends who were essentially brother and sister and argued all the time and made fun of each other. but ultimately, they'd fight to the death for each other. shiro and keith's dynamic is fun because i like being able to get in keith's head and write a shit ton of his inner monologue but then what comes out is like three sentences while shiro just patiently waits for him to spit it out. i also have been hinting (which ill be deepning later on) that even though keith and shiro love each other and are close, there's some distance between them that's built over time. i think it's natural, especially when keith still hasn't fully come to terms that someone he perceives to be a hero would ever take a chance on him. when shiro, the gay depressed bitch that he is, goes to college and experiences the sanctity of forming your own community and meeting people who really truly get you, ofc he's going to constantly want to go back. i think that yearning definitely scares keith and thus leads him to distancing himself as a means of self preservation. and ofc, shiro sees keith pulling away but isn't sure what to do because keith won't talk to him so there's gonna be some underlying tension. can't wait to unpack all of that! i love u space dad i love u space emo.

least favorite scene: i fucking hate action oml. i don't mind reading it but i cannot stand writing it and that's mainly because i have such a rotten little brain that has a hard time processing shit and so the pacing is really difficult for me. (thank u to my beta for suffering through my constant questions). all the paintball scenes in act i weren't my favorite because i had to constantly map out where all 12 characters were on the field at all times and how they were moving and where they were moving. that being said, i do think the paintball scenes were valuable because i got to explore how each individual member would act separately and then as a group. i am v happy that there will be no more paintball after this, tho. (i have never played paintball before in my life). character's ethnic identities yeah so i made a note around chapter 2? i think? that i wanted to incorporate the lived experiences of 1.5, second, and third generation immigrants because this is a fanfic but also i wanted to ground it in reality a little. as a person of color, going to college i had the freedom to explore my identity and also reconcile notions of home and tradition with an entirely new group of people. im a huge sucker for language and it was important to me to incorporate various degrees of bilingualness because that's how i saw other people from multicultural households talk.

i couldn't really include keith being half-galra in a college au but i did see potential to have him go through an identity crisis about being half-korean (asians being forever foreigners, aliens, immigrants). since krolia wasn't there to see him grow up and help him connect with his korean heritage, i think that definitely contributed to keith's anger and trauma of not having the one person who could understand what he was feeling. as someone who grew up not knowing their biological family, i can understand keith's reluctance to even attempt to dive into his heritage and so he's just stuck in this liminal space where he's half-korean living with two japanese people. i created a somewhat elaborate backstory for him and i have big plans for his identity exploration further on so im very excited to project write more.

this has been a short but sweet bts of looking out for you! get excited for act ii! there will be more klance(!!!) and relationship development among the other characters (keith & allura, lance & allura, lance & adam!)

#ao3 fanfic #klance #college au #voltron legendary defender #behind the scenes #lance mcclain #keith kogane #takashi shirogane #adam voltron #allura vld #hunk garrett #pidge holt

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