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thedreamaet · 2 years

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it must have been a cruel joke. the way the fates ( the universe, karma, god, correction: gods ) continued to force this heartache onto him. it wasn’t fair. it wasn’t fair that it wasn’t him. he’s experienced loss before ⸺ his parents ( although be it temporary, he still lost them ) , lost his aunts and uncle, lost uncle demetri and nearly lost his favorite aunt eden. but this? his older brother? his cousin who was practically his best friend? what had he done to be deserving of this kind of agony? why was it him who survived while they hadn’t? why was it that theodore keryx makes it but they don’t? three go in ⸺ three come out. but not this time, this time it’s just him. how was he meant to live with that? without leo and lukas? when it’s always been the three of them? in what world was that fair? that alexis loses her twin? his aunt sienna loses her first child and his parents lose theirs? who was he meant to turn to now that he’s lost his best friends? when he can’t remember their voices so it’s just a stupid birthday video that he has left?

he would never admit it aloud but he enjoyed these ⸺ sentimental things. his aunt eden knows that, it’s why the video was recorded in the first place wasn’t it? it’s almost like a broken record this stupid video that continues to play over and over again but the lanky teenager is afraid if he doesn’t continue playing it that he’ll never remember what leo and lukas sounded like, like he’ll forget what their laughs sounded like, their obnoxious smiles whenever they teased him. it hurts ⸺ it feels like every breath he takes, he’s being pushed under water. feels like he’s struggling to breathe every time he thinks about them.

“theo?” karisa called out from the doorframe, leaning against it as she plays with her own set of rings ( in hindsight, it seems as if alexis and their mother share far more similarities than just looks these days : the way the grieve, the nervous habits, the urge to tell the people they love how much they love them in case their gone tomorrow ). “what ⸺ hey mom,” quick to use the sleeve’s of his brother’s shirt to wipe the runaway tears, turning to face the strawberry blonde who quickly notices her son’s puffy eyes. it hurts her seeing him like this. any of them like this. but isn’t this what being a parent was all about? putting their feelings above hers? grieving when there was a moment because she has to uplift her children who desperately need her shoulder to cry on?

karisa takes slow and careful steps as she intertwines her hands behind her back, taking a seat next to her youngest as the two look out towards the sunrise. she doesn’t say anything. she knows theodore well enough that whatever is upsetting him, he would come out with it when he was ready. the brunette places the phone on the step below them, chewing on the insides of his cheeks as his attention turns to his trembling hands. he wasn’t like isaac and vasilios, he couldn’t quell these emotions with violence because the emptiness would still linger, he would just have the blood on his hands to go along with it. and even then, his two older cousins had their respective partners to turn to, iris had their uncle’s hound and alexis had benny to turn to now in her darkest hours but who did theodore have ⸺

“i can’t look him in the eyes.” theodore confesses, sniffling as he turns his attention to the sunrise. “⸺i can’t, bring myself to look him in the eyes at least. when we eat dinner, when he comes in my room to check on me, when we go over to aunt sienna’s or when we see uncle jack, i can’t ⸺ i feel him looking at me i just, i can’t you know?” theodore asked, sparing his mother a glance as karisa’s expression softens. “mom how do you do it? how do you walk around like uncle demetri and ⸺ and lukas aren’t dead? that my brother isn’t dead? how does papa?” he asked, it was an inward question really, curiosity gets the best of him as karisa let’s out a bitter laugh. how did she?

“just because your father and i carry it well doesn’t mean it hurts any less than it hurts you.” karisa begins, chest rising as she turns to face her oldest completely, hands resting in her lap. “but we are parents first. we have lived long enough to know how to handle grief, our concerns lie with you and your sister.” an honest answer and theodore appreciated it. it’s what he was grateful for ⸺ how his parents had always been open with everything and anything. but, it doesn’t help, not now at least. but it did explain why he’s never seen either of them cry. not in front of him and alexis at least. but when nights became just a little darker, he knew it had something to do with his mother. even if she wouldn’t come outright with it.

“⸺why couldn’t it have been me?” theodore asked, tears brimming darker hues, dark hues that resembled ellis’ when ellis was a teenager and for a moment, karisa’s facade cracks. this hurt in his eyes. she’s seen it before. she’s been in his shoes. hadn’t she asked her own father this question when her own brother had died? “leo made you and papa parent’s didn’t he? isn’t he naturally tethered to alexis? and now you guys lose your first child and alexis loses a piece of her but if it were me ⸺ if it was me, it wouldn’t hurt as much, would it?”

“enough, that’s enough.” her voice is stern, despite the rising emotions, her voice doesn’t crack. “it doesn’t matter the order the three of you were born in, it would still hurt all the same. do you understand me? i would still mourn you the same way i mourn leo, so don’t you ever say something like that again. do you understand me theo? your life is just as important as everyone else’s.” karisa reassured, hands reaching out to hover over her son’s freckled features. just like his father, theodore never really felt comfortable with physical touch. but he leans into it anyways, eyes immediately fluttering shut as tears spill over.

“if i could take this grief from you, i would have done it in a heart beat. but as long as there’s breath in my breast i can assure you that you will never have to experience this alone.” karisa reassured, pads of her thumb wiping at her son’s hot tears. “and when you can’t turn to me, you have your father and he will carry your grief and make it his own if you let him. but you need to understand that we are here for you, you do not tread this darkness alone, you never have and you never will.” she continued, brighter hues offering sympathy as theodore tries to hold it all together. how was he meant to stop himself from bursting at the seams when his mother sat in front of him ready to take his darkest thoughts and turn them into light.

“your soul is intertwined with your father and i’s all the same. and our love for the three of you goes beyond life and death. our souls are intertwined through every realm, every lifetime, every universe. even in death, even here, you and your siblings will always have a piece of us, within you. so please, do not ever hesitate to use our fire to keep yours ignited and when it feels like you can’t do it anymore, turn to papa and i, it is what we’re here for teddy.” the childhood nickname is what sends his emotions spilling over, breaking down into complete sobs as karisa pulls him inward, forehead coming to rest in the crook of his mother’s neck as he feels like he’s a child all over again. like he had just scraped his knee in training with his father and he felt as if he could never amount to leo and alexis. “what if i forget him? what he sounds like? what his laugh is like? or lukas’? or uncle demetri’s?”

“i promise you that your father and i will never allow you to forget any of them. when you swing your sword, you will do it in their honor, when you see the empty seats at the table or when you lay your head on your pillow ⸺ you can never truly forget them. you will always carry a piece of them in your heart and that’s ⸺ that’s how we keep them alive theodore, the memory of them, we honor them that way. it’s what they would have wanted and i can assure you if your brother or cousin ever heard you talking about yourself this way they would’ve had your head.” karisa reassures, sad smile pushing through torn features as theodore pulls away from his mother to laugh. it’s a cracked one, one that makes him cry even more as his mother places a hand behind his neck to pull him close to press a kiss against his cheek. “there is no rush in this process teddy. you go to your father when you’re ready ⸺ he will always be here for you, don’t you ever feel like you can’t go to him.” she reassured as theodore presses his forehead against his mother’s for the moment.

maybe it was his own insecurities. maybe it’s because he isn’t some warrior like sister ⸺ doesn’t have his father’s powers to travel across realms like his brother. he’s just a teenager with his father’s gold coin. he returns to his original position, head in his mother’s shoulder as karisa presses a kiss against his ruffled hair, arm wrapped around him while the other rubs his back soothingly. “theodore don’t you ever forget you are, you were blessed to have both the underworld’s darkness and olympus’ light in you and there isn’t many who can say that, which makes you special.” she pointed out. “you don’t have to be a warrior or be a messenger to be someone. your ability to use that beautiful mind of yours to analyze a battlefield, to formulate a plan or how you are able to change the tide of battle in just a blink of an eye because of your speed. you have a beautiful mind with a beautiful gift to follow. your ability to manipulate metals is something that isn’t meant to be taken lightly. you were able to take down a cyclops, fight olympian guards and fortify the metal in your javelin with these powers of yours. just because you do not share the same powers as your father and i, it doesn’t make you any less stronger than your siblings. you, theodore keryx, are the god of wealth and fortune, you are the grandson of hades, you are our pride and joy, every ounce of good in your father and i, is in you. you are my sun, my moon and stars, you are my anchor in life ⸺ i love you teddy, with every fiber that makes me, i love you.”

/ @intheirabsence

#* drabbles .#* drabbles : survivor's guilt .#depression tw #suicidal thoughts tw #( i'll see myself out.#FJHIKDFHDF )

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stuffnonsenseandotherthings · 4 months

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Watch It Or Drop It Challenge - Drama 4

I'm in that mood where I just want to watch something new but I'm not sure what so, instead of obsessively reading every synopsis of every drama to ever exist and ultimately running out of time to watch anything, I've decided I'm just going to let fate decide and spin the wheel for a second drama on my Plan to Watch List!

Aside from one notable exception (notable in that I dropped it straight away without watching it), so far fate seems pretty set that I catch up on all my years of not watching BL and has only put forward BLs (despite them currently being no where near the majority of dramas on the list), so I'm interested to see if the trend manages to continue with....

👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 BL Drama no Shuen ni Narimashita: Crank Up Hen

Fate is a BL stan, pass it on 😋

Country: Japan

Episodes: 3

Genres: BL, Comedy, Romance

Director: Kumasaka Izuru

Screenwriter: Toyama Erika

Summary: This work stars Akafuji Yuichiro, a popular and handsome actor, and Aoyagi Hajime, a former popular child actor who has the ability but is currently unremarkable. The story begins when they are chosen to play the double lead roles in the live-action adaptation of an extremely popular BL manga.

They start living together in order to prepare for the role and get publicity, but Akafuji has a curt attitude toward Aoyagi, and Aoyagi doesn't like Akafuji either.

However, there was a reason for his curt attitude. In reality, Akafuji was deeply in love with Aoyagi.

Akafuji tries his best to hide his feelings, and Aoyagi tries to get along with the other but mistakenly thinks that he hates him. The misunderstanding between the two leads to an unexpected slapstick comedy in this "Cohabitation Romantic Comedy".

(Source: TV Asahi)

Why It's On My Plan to Watch List: A very recent addition that came about thanks to this post by @bengiyo. It was a very impulse decision (and maybe not one I should have made given I'm trying to shorten my PTWL rather than make it longer 😅) but what can I say, a few simple bullet points managed to make it sound very very appealing and I couldn't resist.

Prediction: So, fun fact, the first time I watched a Japanese drama was nearly 8 years ago and I had such a bad time of it I haven't been able to watch another one since. In hindsight, I am 100% certain that the reasons I had such a miserable time are:

1) it wasn't a genre I would normally go for and I have no idea why I thought watching it in a different language would change things (it did not)

2) it was one of those classics, you know, the kind that are big names in the fandom but that you wouldn't recommend to a newbie straight away because they are a bit of an acquired taste, and

3) even once I realised I didn't like it, I forced myself to finish it because at the time I was physically incapable of dropping things which meant that not only was I not enjoying it, I was finding myself actively resenting.

So yeah, mainly my fault but it was such an un-fun time that I was so scared of a repeat scenario that I steered clear of all j-dramas for the next 8 years out of fear.

BUT NO MORE!!! THE CYCLE ENDS NOW!!!

I'm a completely different drama watcher now and I know myself and my tastes and limits much better now so it's finally time to face my (very silly) fears and get back to a country whose dramas I'm pretty sure I'll enjoy once I've broken the ice 💪 And what better way to do that than start with a drama that has recieved lots of love from the all people I've seen watch it and is nice and short to boot? The worst that will happen is that I won't like it, but it's only 135 minutes long and I know how to drop things now so.... WATCH

Watch It Or Drop It Masterpost

#watch it or drop it #watch it #bl drama #bl drama no shuen ni narimashita: crank up hen #genuinely very excited about this and to have this as my much needed reintroduction to jdramas and introduction to jbl

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helloalycia · 3 years

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my patient’s neighbour [two] // wanda maximoff

summary: as you spend more time with your patient's neighbour, you come to realise that your crush may be getting too much

warning/s: none, just fluff tbh

author's note: i’m so glad you guys enjoyed the first part! here’s the next bit :)

When Sunday rolled around, I did everything in my power to make it the perfect day for Anna. We went out for breakfast at a café around the corner, a stroll around the park, then I made her lunch before she conked out afterwards, napping in her bedroom. I took that as my chance to decorate the living-area with birthday decorations. Nothing too much as I knew she'd kill me if I went overboard, but little things like a banner, some balloons and streamers.

I told Wanda to come at this time, too, and she showed up with a bag of groceries and a pretty smile on her face.

"Here, let me help," I said, already moving to take the bag off her. "How are you?"

"I'm good," she said, closing the door behind her and following me into the kitchen. Her smile widened when she saw the decorations. "Y/N, this is lovely! Anna is going to love it!"

"You think?" I asked, spinning around and doing a once over of the living-area. "It's not too much? I know she'll hate if I do too much."

"It's just the right amount," Wanda reassured, glancing at me. "How has she been today?"

We both began to unpack the groceries as we talked.

"Really good actually," I said with a nod. "I treated her to breakfast at that café she likes. We went to the park, fed the ducks, had a nice stroll. Then I made her some lunch and she's napping which leaves us the perfect time to crack on with dinner."

Wanda chuckled. "Great." She paused, making me look to her to see her smile fading. Nervously, she asked, "Did her granddaughter call?"

I sighed quietly and Wanda seemed to know what that meant without me saying anything further.

"It's okay, we'll just have to make this the best meal ever," she said, not letting it get to her.

"We will," I agreed, before looking to the food on the table. "So, chef. Where do we start?"

Wanda and I spent the next hour prepping dinner, a beef stew called Solyanka, as it would require two hours to cook on the stove so we were starting early to make sure it would be ready in time.

I was chopping some onions as she prepared the beef, but I couldn't help myself from glancing at her every two seconds, still filled with concern because of her cast and minor injuries.

"You should take a picture, it'll last longer," she said teasingly, making me look up to see her watching me with a stifled smile.

"Sorry," I mumbled, shaking my head and looking back to my chopping board.

"What's wrong?" she asked gently.

I chewed on my lip as I glanced at her wrist again, before meeting her gaze. "How did it happen?"

"I already told you," she reminded me playfully, trying to lighten the mood, but I was still fretful. "It happened on a mission."

"Yeah, but how?" I asked again, hoping she understood what I meant.

She seemed reluctant to share, face scrunching up with thought, before looking down to her own chopping board. I thought she wouldn't tell me, but then she spoke.

"I can't tell you too much," she started, shrugging, "since it was a confidential mission. But basically, I was undercover when my target recognised me and we got into a fight."

Watching her with the utmost attention, I nodded, imagining it in my head.

"It wasn't difficult or anything, but it surprised me, y'know?" She looked to me with a smile, as if trying to make it sound less scarier than it was. "The guy, the target, he managed to get in few good hits. And he sprained my wrist. But it's alright."

I wasn't as amused as she was, wincing at the thought of her being in a fight. "Are you sure you're alright?"

She tilted her head knowingly. "I'm sure, Y/N. It's my job."

Shaking my head, I looked back down to my chopping board and continued chopping the onion. "I don't know how you can do that as a job..."

"Well, it's rewarding," she said like it was obvious. "Why do you spend most of your week caring for the elderly?"

"It's rewarding," I said without hesitation, before realising what she'd done and looking her way.

She was smiling cockily, making me roll my eyes and laugh.

"Okay, I see your point," I gave in. "But still. It's a dangerous job what you do. Just be careful, yeah?"

"Always am," she promised. And I wanted to believe her, but the cast on her wrist said otherwise.

—

"It smells like home, devochki, spasibo (girls, thank you)," Anna said from her place at the table. "Are you sure you don't want me to help?"

"We're sure, Anna," Wanda called back to her. "I'm just putting the food into a serving bowl and Y/N is grabbing some glasses. You sit and wait like the patient woman I know you are."

Anna mumbled something in Russian which I didn't understand, but it seemed to make Wanda chuckle as she rolled her eyes.

It was finally time for dinner and the stew had turned out beautifully, not that I had doubts since Wanda didn't seem like one to kid around with cooking.

As she was readying it for the table, I was setting everything up and all that was left were the glasses. But, of course (and oddly enough, since Anna was shorter than I), they were stored on the top shelf of the kitchen cupboard and just out of my reach.

In hindsight, I probably could have grabbed a stool and stood on it, but I was too lazy, so I went on my tip-toes and stretched with all my might. The tips of my fingers brushed against a glass and I attempted to move it towards me, unable to see if I was actually doing anything since it was too high. After a couple of tries, I managed to bring it forward, but my stupid self flicked it too hard and it came tumbling off the shelf and towards the counter.

I braced myself for the sound of glass smashing, but instead, a wondrous red energy wrapped itself around the glass and kept it suspended mid-fall.

"Very clever," Wanda said sarcastically, appearing directly beside me. Her accent was daringly teasing.

I looked up and saw her smirking at me with amusement, right hand raised and aimed at the glass. Red tendrils of energy glowed around her hand and the glass; I widened my eyes a little, amazed at how easy she made it look. Though I knew she had powers, I'd never actually seen her use them up close and personal. It was stunning.

"I totally knew you were going to do that," I played it cool, cheeks flushing as she set the glass on the counter.

"Mhm, sure you did," she played along with a melodious laugh, before pressing her front to my back without warning and reaching to grab two more glasses. "Here, I got it."

My body tensed at the feeling of her unexpectedly so close to me. My mouth went dry, her warmth emanating from her and washing over me with the scent of her perfume. Did she always smell so good?

When she grabbed all three glasses, she didn't seem to notice the effect she had on me (unless she did and kept quiet for her own amusement).

"Think you can grab the food without dropping it?" she asked, quirking an entertained brow.

Still distracted by her perfume, I nodded and cleared my throat. "Food. Right. Yeah."

As I stirred the stew to mix everything thoroughly, I felt my heart rate return to its normal pace and told myself to chill out. Wanda just happened to be an extremely pretty individual who was kind and thoughtful and funny. It wasn't a big deal.

When I was sure I wouldn't make a fool of myself, I returned to the dining table with a pot of stew and set it down on the placemat.

"Priyatnogo appetita (enjoy your meal)," I said, trying not to stumble over my pronunciation.

Both Anna and Wanda raised their brows with matching surprised smiles on their faces.

"You said that perfectly, Y/N!" Wanda said encouragingly, as I took a seat to the right of Anna at the head of the table.

"I see you've been practicing," Anna added, looking to me with an endearing gaze. "A present in itself. Thank you, milaya (sweetie)."

I smiled bashfully. "I have to keep up with you both somehow, right?"

Anna chuckled as Wanda gave me a brilliant smile. Something in my chest stirred as she did, and I was forced to look away, though my own smile didn't fade.

"So, Y/N and I put this together for you and I'm sure you'll know what it is," Wanda said, before serving up a bowl for Anna.

"Solyanka," Anna exclaimed with delight. "Devushki (girls), this looks and smells amazing." She paused, glancing between us both with a grateful smile. "Since you've both been here, this place... it's beginning to feel alive again."

To my surprise, she teared up and began to laugh, using her napkin to pat the corner of her eyes. I rested my hand on hers, squeezing it gently and giving her a small smile.

"I appreciate this very much," she continued, before squeezing my hand and letting go to grab her spoon. "I can't wait to try it."

The three of us dug into our stew and Anna loved it, talking about the first time she ever had it as a kid and how it was one of her favourite dishes. The rest of the meal went by wonderfully, with Anna looking as happy as ever and Wanda listening to her intently. I was listening, too, but my gaze did end up wandering to Wanda as she sat there animatedly, nodding along and smiling to Anna.

For some reason, she was ethereal tonight, though she looked like she always did. Her long brown hair was tied up in a ponytail and she wore a loose tee shirt over some jeans. Nothing fancy, but she pulled it off so well. Rings adorned her fingers as she played with them thoughtlessly, and it caught my eye before I got distracted by her cast on her left wrist.

She'd said she was okay, but it still worried me. It wasn't my right to worry, but she was my friend. I was concerned. She could take care of herself, but that wouldn't put the ache in my heart at ease.

As if she could hear my concerns, her eyes flickered to mine, a kaleidoscope of blue, green and gold. She sent me a reassuring glance before looking back to Anna with focus. I chewed on my lower lip, trying not to let my worry get the best of me, before looking back to Anna.

Towards the end of the meal, after we'd eaten and were merely conversing, Anna's landline rang in the apartment.

"I'll get it," Wanda said, already standing up to grab the phone from its cradle.

Anna and I watched as she answered the phone with a friendly 'hello', before a surprised expression appeared on her face.

"Sure, I'll pass it on now," Wanda was saying before approaching the table and stopping by Anna. Her expression softened as she said to Anna, "It's Sasha."

Anna's expression fell at the mention of her granddaughter. She nodded slightly, before standing up and grabbing her cane to balance. Accepting the phone, she began to walk away into her bedroom. Wanda and I heard her say a faint 'hello' before she closed the door behind her.

"Her granddaughter rang?" I asked with mild disbelief.

"It is her birthday," Wanda pointed out, returning to her seat.

"Bit late into the day though, isn't it?" I retorted, pulling a face. "Almost like the day is over, in fact."

"Sounding a little judgemental there, Y/N," Wanda teased, leaning forward into the palm of her hands and watching me.

"I'm not," I said with an eye roll. "I just think she should show her grandmother some respect. Who does she think she is?"

I paused as Wanda gave me a knowing look, then winced.

"Okay, I heard it that time," I admitted, making her laugh.

"I get it," she said, nodding slightly. "Maybe she's finally starting to realise though."

I sighed, leaning back in my seat. "I guess... For Anna's sake, I hope so."

Wanda and I talked amongst ourselves until Anna returned silently, hushing our conversation. She returned the phone to its cradle before taking a seat at the head of the table. Wanda and I exchanged looks before I decided to speak, noticing Anna wouldn't.

"Is Sasha doing okay?" I asked gently.

Anna was staring ahead, barely listening, before she glanced at me then looked down to her empty bowl. Sentences left her lips in Russian, mumbled and incoherent, at least to me. Wanda leaned forward, holding her hand and frowning with sympathy as she listened to her words. I felt horrible, sensing something was wrong, but unable to do anything to help.

"I'm sorry, Anna, I didn't mean to upset you," I said, shaking my head.

Wanda met my gaze. "It's not your fault... Anna just misses Sasha."

I frowned. "Oh."

"But I'm glad I have you both," Anna finally spoke, accent thick with emotion, as she looked between us before settling her eyes to me. "Even if you're paid to be here."

She cracked a smile, making my shoulders relax. I returned her expression, glad she still had a sense of humour.

Anna didn't mention Sasha's name for the rest of the evening. We cleaned up, had some tea, played a quick board game before I made sure she was okay for the night.

"She alright?" Wanda asked when I closed Anna's bedroom door and stepped into the hall.

"Yeah, she's tired from all of today's excitement," I said with a smile.

"So are you by the sounds of it," she joked, but stepped forward to rest a hand on my arm. "I think we should call it a night."

"I think we should," I said in agreement.

After grabbing my stuff, Wanda and I left the flat before walking to her apartment and stopping outside.

"Thanks for helping me out today," I told her with a tired smile. "I really appreciated it."

"Well, you asked so nicely... how could I resist?" she said, staring up at me through her eyelashes. I rolled my eyes playfully, making her smile. "I had fun. Thanks for inviting me."

I was going to respond, but a yawn escaped my lips, prompting me to cover my mouth as I did.

"Sorry," I said, trying to blink the fatigue away momentarily.

She chuckled, tilting her head and watching me carefully. "You're cute."

I breathed out through my nose, unsure what to say to her words, but I definitely felt my heart rate speed up a little.

"I'll let you go," she said, clearly entertained by my silence. "Get home safe, yeah?"

"And you look after yourself when saving the world, yeah?" I replied with a quirked brow, eyes glancing at her wrist.

"I promise." She grinned before moving forward to hug me.

I returned the hug, the smell of her perfume permanent in my nose by now, before pulling away with a final smile. Of course, I probably shouldn't have stared at her lips so intensely, wanting nothing more than to kiss them.

"See you tomorrow," I said, snapping back into reality and taking a step back. "Goodnight, Wanda."

"Goodnight," she said sweetly.

I turned to leave and was suddenly wide awake. Did I just think about kissing Wanda?

—

It was a few visits later when I was caring for Anna and she decided to have a dance around the living room. One minute we were flicking through different radio stations, and the next she was putting on some old records on her record player. She settled on an upbeat, 50s dance song, the music filling the apartment with joy.

"Egor and I danced to this very song when we first met," she told me, talking about her late husband with a twinkling passion in her eyes. "It was a party and he had been staring at me all night, and I him. Then finally, when this song came on, he approached me and said, 'dorogaya, okazyvayesh' mne chest' tantsevat' so mnoy?'"

I suppressed a smile as I watched her reminisce. "And that means...?"

"'Darling, would you do me the honour of dancing with me'?" she repeated in English for my benefit.

My heart melted. "Anna, that's adorable. He sounds like such a gentlemen."

"He was," she said with a sigh of agreement, smiling to herself.

Whenever she talked about her husband, I'd never seen her look more content. The mere mention of his name was enough to put a smile on her face. I could only hope to have a love like theirs some day.

I stepped forward, putting out my hand. "I'm no Egor, but I'd love to dance with you if you'd let me."

"Oh, I can't do that," she said, waving my hand away. "I can barely walk, milaya (sweetie)."

"Hey, as your carer, I am insisting that you dance with me," I said, feigning sternness.

She hesitated, before resting her hand in mine and smiling with gratitude. The two of us danced together, myself being careful to keep her upright and make sure she didn't overexert herself. She was smiling and laughing as I spun her around, dancing her all around the living room, and it warmed my heart to see her so cheery.

A knock on the door caused me to excuse myself from Anna, only to find Wanda on the other end.

"Someone's in a good mood," she said instantly, taking note of my smile.

I stepped to the side to let her in. "Yeah, well, Anna is doing good today. It's contagious, what can I say?"

Before Wanda could respond, Anna called from the living-area with excitement.

"Wanda, idi syuda i potantsuy so mnoy!" she exclaimed, already grabbing Wanda's hand and pulling her in.

It didn't take a genius to know that Anna had basically asked Wanda to dance with her. I chuckled as I followed after them, enjoying the sight of Anna and Wanda dancing together.

"What's the occasion?" Wanda asked, glancing over the short woman and to me with a helpless smile.

"No occasion," I quipped, crossing my arms and trying to hold in my laughter at Anna's speed and perseverance with a reluctant Wanda. "Just having a good time."

Wanda looked like she wanted to retort with a comment, but Anna spun her around before she could, making me laugh aloud.

"Prikhodi odin, milaya (come on, sweetie)!" Anna said, holding out a hand. "Dance!"

Unable to resist, I joined in with the two Sokovian women, appreciating how happy Anna looked and how awkward Wanda felt in the situation. She wasn't much of a dancer, but she was trying and God was that adorable.

We danced for a little while longer until Anna's back began to hurt and she took a seat. Though, she insisted that Wanda and I resume with our dancing.

Just on time, like a sign from the universe or a higher being or whatever you wanted to believe in, a slow song came on next, filling the apartment soothingly.

To my surprise, the awkward dancer that was Wanda was oddly confident as she held out her hand to me.

"Would you do me the honour of dancing with me?" she asked softly, a small smile playing on her lips.

At the familiarity of her words, I glanced to Anna, who seemed to pick up on it, too. She said nothing as she watched us with a smile of her own.

"I'd love to," I said, looking back to Wanda's eyes.

They looked blue in the light, a beautiful sky blue that put me at ease as soon as I stared into them. I slipped my hand into hers, letting her pull us closer together as she rested her other hand on my waist, the touch sending shivers up my spine. I put mine on her shoulder, allowing her to take the lead.

It was the most intimate we'd been, and as she maintained eye contact, I wondered if she could feel my hands trembling slightly, or my heart hammering loudly, or my palms turning a little sweaty. She made me nervous in the best way possible, her smile dazzling without realising and her eyes piercing without meaning to be.

She must have felt it, too, that tug in the pit of her stomach that I was feeling now. Otherwise there was something seriously wrong and I was already too deep into a crush on my patient's neighbour.

When the song ended, it feeling like mere seconds in total, she let go of me and I missed the contact and the smell of her perfume and the way she was looking at me.

"Couldn't have done it better myself," Anna spoke, forcing me to tear my gaze from Wanda's lips. She smiled at me knowingly. "You ladies definitely know how to dance."

I felt a heat creeping up my neck as I smiled to myself, distracting myself with the laces on my shoes. When I finally brought myself to look up, I saw Wanda already looking my way, a calm expression on her face.

As she did most times she visited, Wanda stayed with me and Anna until I tucked Anna into bed and bid her a goodnight. We left the apartment and Wanda decided to walk me to the lift that evening, a distracted look on her face.

It was silent between us, a comfortable one, until the doors slid open and I looked to her with kind eyes.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow," I told her, making her look to me. "Have a nice evening, Wanda."

She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. I watched with amusement, wondering what was going on in that pretty head of hers. The lift doors began to shut, so I put my foot between them to keep them open.

"I should go," I said with an awkward laugh, before grabbing her hand and squeezing it gently since she wouldn't speak. "Goodnight."

When I turned to leave, I got, maybe, a step into the lift before I felt her fingers wrap around my wrist and tug me backwards, spinning me around. I didn't get chance to ask what was up as she stepped forward, pressing her lips to mine in an instant.

Startled, I froze at the contact, but then her hand rested on the back of my neck as her thumb caressed my jaw, and I found myself melting into her, closing my eyes at the blissful feeling.

Her other hand fell to my waist as she deepened the kiss, sending me into the lift and the wall hitting my back. I moved my lips in time with hers, revelling at how soft and delicate and gentle she was being. Kissing Wanda Maximoff wasn't something I had realised would be this good, but now that I was, I never wanted to stop.

Unfortunately, the sound of the lift doors shutting pulled us apart. I was breathless, my heart racing and my lips swollen from her spectacular kiss.

"I've wanted to do that for such a long time," she revealed, stepping back a little. Her eyes were bright and her cheeks were flushed as she watched me with mild concern. "I completely should have asked though. I'm sorry that I overstepped."

She pursed her lips, forefinger and thumb pinching her bottom lip regretfully and gaze falling to the floor.

"You didn't overstep," I said, already missing the sensation of her lips against mine. "You stepped just the right amount."

She looked back up, eyes softening as her lips curved into a radiant smile.

"You wanna, maybe, do that again?" I asked without thinking, my mind a haze as Wanda still remained so close to me.

She laughed melodiously before raising her hand and cupping my cheek. Her eyes looked between mine before falling to my lips affectionately.

"I'd love to, dorogoy (darling)."

I smiled toothlessly before closing the gap between us, secretly wishing this lift ride would go on forever if it meant I could kiss Wanda like this.

—

After making out with Wanda in the lift, she asked me out on a date and it was the best date I'd ever been on. Nothing over the top but very thoughtful as she took me for a picnic in the park before getting ice cream for dessert.

We went on a few more dates after that, taking turns to take the lead with them, and she ended up asking me to be her girlfriend which of course I said yes to.

All whilst this was going on, I still cared for Anna and Wanda paid her visits when she could, though we tried to remain as normal as possible. We didn't think it was best to tell Anna that we were together since we didn't want to startle her or make her feel uncomfortable in our presence. Of course, keeping a secret from Anna is as good as nothing when she had eyes like a hawk.

Wanda and I were putting a plate of tea and biscuits together for Anna one day, myself lining up the biscuits neatly as Wanda lingered beside me. She was about to grab a biscuit from the plate when I smacked her hand away.

"Just one," she pleaded, but I shook my head before nodding to the packet on the side.

"Help yourself to those," I told her condescendingly. "These are for Anna."

"Just get her another," she said simply, before reaching over again.

I smacked her hand away again, giving her a knowing look.

"Y/N!"

"Wanda!" I mirrored her childish smile.

She narrowed her eyes petulantly. "Are you seriously doing this right now?"

"Are you?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

She pouted and I so badly wanted to lean forward and kiss it away, but Anna was sat on her recliner behind us. Wanda seemed to know this as a mischievous smile fell on her lips, eyes watching me carefully.

"You're not cute," I mumbled, before grabbing the tray and turning to leave. As I was walking to Anna, a biscuit began to float off the plate, red wisps of energy wrapped around it and bringing it to– "Wanda!"

She laughed, eyes glowing red with magic, before grabbing the biscuit from mid-air and taking a bite.

"Such a child," I said under my breath before setting the tray on the coffee table before Anna. Smiling at her, I said, "Here you go, Anna. Do you want anything else?"

As I straightened up, flipping Wanda off behind my back and encouraging her laughter further, I noticed the way Anna looked between us both curiously.

"Everything okay?" I asked, eyebrows knitting together as she continued to study us both.

"Something happened," she decided. "Between you both."

"What do you mean?" I asked, taking a seat on the couch. "Nothing happened."

"Something definitely did," she said knowingly. "I may be old, milaya (sweetie), but I have very good eyes."

"Anna, what are you talking about?" Wanda played dumb, taking a seat beside me, biscuit in hand.

"Don't think I haven't seen the way you two steal glances when you think I'm not looking," she said, pointing between us. "Or the way you," her finger settled on Wanda, "have been helping Y/N out more often than usual."

Wanda and I flushed, embarrassed that we'd been caught out. I was so certain that we'd successfully hid it from her, but clearly we were mistaken.

"We wanted to tell you," Wanda began, cheeks still pink as she leaned forward.

Anna silenced her with a wave of her hand. "Save it. I knew I was right. You two are together."

Pursing my lips, I waited for her to say something because I wasn't really sure what to say myself. Suddenly, a smile appeared on her lips.

"I'm very happy for you both," she said to us. "Wanda here always needed somebody in her life who wasn't me. And you, Y/N, are the perfect match for her."

I chuckled, looking to the girl in question, whose face was as red as her powers that she used to torment me with. I grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently, and nudged her in the shoulder.

"You hear that? Perfect match," I teased, making her roll her eyes to distract from her flustered self.

Anna said something to her in Russian, way too fast and incomprehensible for me to understand, even with the extra effort I was making to learn it. Whatever it was, it made Wanda get even more embarrassed, her green eyes darting around the room in an effort to overcome it.

"What did you say?" I asked Anna with amusement.

"Oh, nothing Wanda hasn't heard before," she said dismissively. "It's all okay. Isn't it, Wanda?"

"Yeah," Wanda mumbled.

"I don't know what's happening here, but I'm all for someone putting Wanda in her place," I said, looking between them both with an entertained smile.

Anna chuckled as Wanda shoved me in the arm gently before pulling me close again. I smiled at how cute she looked, pink blush creeping up her neck and teeth chewing on her lower lip to contain her smile.

I'd never get sick of the sight.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x you #scarlet witch #elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen imagine #wanda maximoff #marvel imagine #marvel #mcu imagine

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fruitcoops · 3 years

Note

Hey I was wondering if you could write something kinda angsty but with a pretty ending with the cubs, I’m trynna project getting stood up and turning it into something nice and good, even if it’s just in my head. No pressure but I just wanna smile for a bit and your work always makes me do so :)))

Hello lovely! I’m so sorry that you were stood up--that feels awful and whoever did it missed out on a wonderful person. I’ve combined this with some other asks in the same vein (y’all wanted my boys to hurt) so I hope you don’t mind. Sending love and hugs your way! Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove <3

1. Bad mental health day for Finn + pushing himself too hard + passing out (ft. Bee anon!)

2. O’Knutzy boiling over with a fluffy ending

3. Insecure Leo

TW for internalized guilt, vaguely implied self-harm (pushing himself too hard at practice), and relationship arguments

Finn had a few bad habits. He left dirty dishes in the sink, could never remember which setting the laundry was supposed to go on, and barely wiped his shoes on the doormat before entering the house. He wasn’t proud of his flaws, but he acknowledged that everyone had some—as long as they didn’t hurt anybody, it wasn’t the end of the world.

This one…this one was different. Even Finn knew that.

He gritted his teeth for the next set of squats, ignoring the ringing in his ears and the climbing nausea in his gut. The chart only said to do three reps, but he had been beating himself up for slacking a set earlier in the week and decided to do five to make up for it.

That, it seemed, was a poor decision.

His thighs were shaking when he finally put the weight down and he leaned on the wall to stabilize himself. “Fish? You okay?” Logan asked from the yoga mat to his right, staring up at him in concern.

“I’m fine,” Finn lied. “Just straightened up too fast.”

“D’accord.” He could feel Logan’s eyes on his back as he left the gym and headed toward the showers.

Finn’s worst habit was taking care of himself, and it wasn’t something that could be explained away as “oh, silly Harzy” like the washing machine. He made a mental note to take some ibuprofen before driving home so he would be marginally less sore in the morning, but he had the sinking feeling it would be a rough practice the next day.

Remus and Talker were playing some sort of volleyball with an old balloon between their stalls when he entered; he missed getting nailed in the head by a narrow margin and waved off their apologies with a forced smile.

A hand closed around his bicep as he passed, snapping him back to reality as Leo’s bright eyes came into focus. “Hey, lovey, is Lo with you?”

“He’s finishing up.”

A small furrow appeared between Leo’s brows. “Is something wrong?”

“Nope.” Finn faked a yawn and stretched his arm over Leo’s shoulder, dragging him down for a kiss on the cheek. “Cap’s workout just kicked my ass today.”

“That’s what they’re supposed to do,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes playfully as he passed. “You’re not a rookie anymore, O’Hara.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright.”

Logan entered the locker room a few minutes later; Finn closed his eyes and breathed in the thick steam of the shower until the fog in his head cleared a bit and he couldn’t feel the skin on his shoulders. It billowed off him as he dressed again and tossed the keys to Leo, who raised his eyebrows. “Me?”

“You. There’s a little bit of slush left, and you still need to learn how to drive in it.” And I feel like I’m going to pass out at any minute. He swallowed down the last thought and pasted a teasing grin on his face—what Leo and Logan didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them. It was his own fault for being lazy in the past.

-----------------------

What Leo and Logan didn’t know apparently did hurt them. In hindsight, Finn should have seen that coming before he passed out in the middle of a scrimmage.

The lights of the coach’s office made his headache even worse. “Care to explain?” Arthur asked in a voice like frost. To his left, Sirius was glowering.

“I already told Hestia—”

“Yeah, I know what you told Hestia,” Arthur interrupted. “I want to hear it directly from you.”

Finn sighed through his nose and picked at a stray thread on his jersey. “I…I pushed myself a little too hard at yesterday’s practice and didn’t say anything when I started feeling bad.”

“Why.” Sirius’ eyes were hard as flint.

“Because I didn’t want to be a pain in the ass! I can handle some aching muscles, it’s not a big deal!”

“Not a—”

Arthur put his hand on Sirius’ shoulder. “That’s enough, Black. O’Hara, I want you to look me in the eyes.” Finn raised his head. “This was a dumbass mistake and all of us expected better from you. Your safety and health come before any workout routine, and it is your responsibility to speak up before you scare the shit out of us by dropping like a rock.”

“I’m sorry, Coach.”

“Apology accepted. I also want you to call Heather when you get home and schedule an appointment with her.” Some of Arthur’s frustration melted into genuine concern and guilt crawled up Finn’s throat. “Doing that to yourself isn’t healthy, Finn. You’re a good man, smart, and I know you know better.”

“Can we talk for a second?” Sirius asked quietly, glancing at Arthur. He nodded and left the room.

“I’m sorry.”

“What the fuck, Finn?” Sirius ran a hand down his face, suddenly pale. “What the fuck was that?”

“It was stupid.”

“Yeah, no, I got that part.”

“I slacked off a set on Monday.”

“Wow, nobody’s ever done that before,” he said sarcastically, sitting down in the chair by the wall as Finn resumed messing with his hem. “You scared the hell out of all of us.”

“I know.”

“You know I’m not mad at you, right? I’m upset that you thought you had to do that at all.”

Tears prickled the backs of Finn’s eyes. “I know.”

“I’m sure as hell not your coach or your dad, but I’m going to say this as your friend, okay?” Sirius leaned over into Finn’s field of view. “Whatever you need, I’m here for you. This team wouldn’t be the same without you. I wouldn’t be the same without you. We need you to take care of yourself, Harzy.”

Finn nodded silently and Sirius gave his hand a quick squeeze, which he returned. “Does everyone know?”

“I told them you were under the weather, nothing more.”

“Classic media answer.” He tried and failed to crack a smile. “Thanks for not telling on me.”

“That’s not my job. My job is herding cats on ice skates for five hours a day.”

Finn’s smile was real that time and he managed a light laugh as he swiped away the dampness on his cheeks. “Love you, man.”

“Love you, too.” Sirius helped him stand up and hugged him tight for a second before letting go. “Speaking as someone who used to do the exact same thing, talking to Heather makes a world of difference.”

“I’ll give her a call.”

The cold feeling returned to Finn’s gut when they stepped out of the office; Leo and Logan were waiting by the opposite wall, looking angrier than Finn had ever seen. Sirius patted his shoulder once before walking off down the hallway toward the locker room, where he would no doubt deflect even more questions.

“Hey,” Finn said, barely above a whisper. Logan continued to stare at the ground.

“You lied to us,” Leo said bluntly. “Several times. Both of us asked if you were alright and you told us you were fine.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I accept your apology, but I don’t understand.” He ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. “Finn, this isn’t how we deal with things. We agreed to be a team.”

Finn bit his lip. I fucked this one up. “We did. I am so sorry for scaring you—”

“We’re not mad that you scared us,” Logan snapped, still looking anywhere but his face. “We’re upset that you refuse to take care of yourself and then lied to us about it.”

Leo nudged Logan’s shoulder before turning back. “Why did you do that, Finn?”

“I didn’t want to fall behind. I was just trying to make up for the set I skipped on Monday.”

“What? Twenty squats and some pushups? That’s not worth your health, honey.” The pet name soothed the terror clutching Finn’s heart and he took a deep breath. They still loved him. This wasn’t the end.

“It was a stupid thing to do and it won’t happen again.”

“Good. Let’s go home.” Logan grabbed his duffel bag off the ground and started walking toward the door; Leo looked like he was going to say something, but Finn gently took his elbow.

“He’s going to need a minute,” he said under his breath. Logan was a hothead about many things, but lying was in the top three. Finn knew he hurt him deep.

“Did you…” Leo trailed off and pressed his lips together as they followed Logan into the parking lot. “Did you feel like you couldn’t tell me?”

Finn shook his head. “No. This was all on me.”

“It’s just that I know I’m younger than both of you and I’m new to the hockey lifestyle, but I never want you to think you can’t trust me—”

“Leo.” Finn stopped walking and tugged on Leo’s hand, turning him around. Worry was painted all over his face and it sliced to Finn’s core. “I trust you and Logan with everything, but I got into my head about this and I wasn’t thinking about how it would hurt you. Please believe that.”

Leo sighed. “I do. I just don’t get it.”

“Neither do I, to be honest.” Logan was already sitting in the car with his headphones on as they crossed the lot. “It’s going to take him a while to talk to me, isn’t it?”

“He was really upset.”

“We’ll figure this out.” He tightened his grip on Leo’s hand. “We’ve made it through worse.”

-----------------------------

The apartment crackled with tension until Finn literally had to stick his head out the open window to get a breath of fresh air. Waves of frustration and hurt rolled off Logan, though he still refused to look Finn in the eyes.

After dinner, Leo slid into the armchair before Logan could get there, leaving only the couch available. They carefully sat on opposite sides—Finn stole glances at Logan out of the corner of his eye for the entire first half of the movie. Ninety minutes of action later, he felt something chilly poking at his calf.

Logan kept his gaze trained on the TV as he scooted his freezing toes under Finn’s legs. Relief flooded Finn’s veins; he felt a little like crying, but instead schooled his expression into a small smile and rested his hand on Logan’s ankle, where it stayed until the movie ended.

Leo had fallen asleep by that time, splayed out sideways on the cushion with his face smushed against the armrest. “Il est mignon,” Logan said softly. There was a beat of silence and he looked over at Finn. “He’s cute.”

“He is.” Finn cleared his throat and met his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Lo. I never meant to hurt you, but I did, and I’m sorry.”

“Promise me you won’t do that again.”

“I won’t.”

Finn had a few bad habits, but backing out on his promises would never be one of them.

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renegadewangs · 3 years

Text

Enigmatic Gnomance

Last night was movie night in my Discord server and we watched Sherlock Gnomes. Needless to say, things escalated very fast and I wrote a 2000+ words one-shot regarding the ending. Everyone liked it for some reason??? So here it is! (I’m not an expert on the gnome cinematic universe, please forgive me if I got a little detail wrong.)

Characters: Sherlock Gnomes, Watson Fandom: Sherlock Gnomes Pairings: (Lord help me,) Gnomes/Watson Warnings/rating: None. Summary: With the movie’s events behind them, Sherlock Gnomes ruminates on difficult matters.

Enigmatic Gnomance

The sun had set on the backyard when at last, Gnomes and Watson returned to their little home. Mrs. Udderson was nowhere to be seen, for which Watson found himself quite grateful. After all that'd occurred tonight, he wasn't in the mood for her invasive mooing. Gnomes hobbled over to the nearby armchair and settled himself down there. The deep crack in his leg instantly caught Watson's eye. He wasn't really a doctor- such a title was no more than an accessory in the world of gnomes. Even so, he found himself yearning to fix the injury somehow. He was responsible in a way, he felt. He'd been weak and he'd gotten cocky, which had made him a blind and unwilling pawn in Moriarty's little scheme.

But there was nothing to be done about it now; porcelain would never heal. Even with glue, Gnomes ran the risk of losing his leg forever if he were ever reckless.

Watson hesitated for a moment, then approached the armchair. His gaze wasn't being met. Gnomes had folded his hands together and was now peering towards his own feet. "Gnomes, ah... Are you alright? Can I get you anything?" he asked awkwardly.

Even with their reunion atop the bridge and their agreement to continue being partners, Gnomes still hadn't quite acknowledged the betrayal. It was maddening. Why wasn't he scolded? For Gnomes to come to terms with his rude dismissal of others had been the entire point, that much was true. However, to not see the gargoyles' true nature and be used by their master... That had been worthy of a good scoff, surely. Or at the very least an indignant sniff. Gnomes could have died, all due to Watson's own naivety. Sure enough, Gnomes didn't reply. The silence was worse than anything else he could have said.

"Gnomes..." Watson trailed off for a moment. Then he decided there was nothing to be gained by keeping his feelings bottled up. That was what'd caused this whole mess in the first place. "It's only us, now. Please, just talk to me."

"... I was ruminating, Watson," said Gnomes, still staring at his feet.

"Oh?"

"Yes, indeed. Ruminating. Quite deeply, I might say. My mind palace lost an entire dimension, attempting to process these hectic thoughts of mine. However, I'm afraid I'm drawing a blank. Perhaps, if you would be so kind, you might refresh my memory?"

The sober, forward nature of Gnomes's words caught Watson off guard. He hadn't known his friend to be so earnest, nor so willing to ask for help, for a very long time. Perhaps the day's events had made a difference after all. But then... Had it been Watson to make Gnomes see sense, or had it been Moriarty's doing? It was best not to think too hard on that, so he attempted to force the notion out of his mind.

"Of course, old friend." Watson placed a hand on the back of the armchair, smiling meekly. "If you need my help, you need only ask for it. Though perhaps... A bit more politely than you used to."

Gnomes uttered a chuckle, bitter as lime(stone). "Hah, quite right," he admitted. "I was wondering... Whether I actually took the time to say how sorry I am."

Watson felt his eyes widen and his body stiffen. Had he heard that correctly? Surely not. "Sorry" was a word not uttered aloud by Gnomes in a long time, short of demanding it from others.

"... What?"

"Quite a bit happened tonight. Moriarty is nothing if not a distraction. I'm certain I said quite a few things- to him and to you. However, it's all a bit of a blur, you see. Did I? Apologize?"

Watson shook his head fiercely. This was all wrong. This was what he'd wanted, and yet... No, he didn't deserve it, did he? "Gnomes- You aren't the one who needs to apologize. I put innocent gnomes in danger- I put you in danger. Moriarty could've won, all because I-I... I thought you'd..."

A hand on Watson's wrist caused any other words to vanish. He looked down to meet Gnomes's eyes. Even more out of place than the gnome's apology was the expression on his face, which Watson couldn't recall ever having seen once in all their years of partnership. What was it? Some sort of turmoil, certainly.

"My dear man, you were right to confront me with my attitude. To treat others in such dreadful a manner is already mortifying to me, in hindsight, but you... You deserved so much more and I fear I took your companionship for granted for the longest time. I'd forgotten just how brilliant you are, and so, you played the game quite well."

"Gnomes... Truly, you don't need to-"

"I am sorry, Watson. More sorry than even my own brilliant mind could ever begin to formulate."

Watson sighed and placed his own hand atop Gnomes's own. "I know. And I'm sorry as well."

For a long moment, nothing was said. Gnomes's eyes merely flitted towards Watson's hand and lingered there. Then, at last, he found his voice again. It had cracked almost as badly as his leg. "... I don't deserve a partner like you. Should you follow Irene's example and find your luck elsewhere, I would not blame you."

"Don't be a fool," Watson replied straight off the bat. "I did not go through so much trouble to teach you a lesson, only to toss away the benefits before I could reap them."

"You were perfectly content to abandon our partnership earlier."

"Well... It wasn't quite a partnership earlier, now was it?"

Gnomes appeared dumbstruck, though only for a moment. Then his lips carved themselves into a grin. "... Fair enough."

Watson took another shuffling step closer to the armchair, leaning forward and eyes narrowing into a bit of a squint. "Are you alright? Your leg... It looks quite damaged."

"It's only a few surface cracks," Gnomes replied, sticking his nose up in the air. "Nothing to worry about. The great Sherlock Gnomes is nothing if not resilient. It is a shame, though. That was my favorite leg."

Watson chuckled dryly. "I don't believe there's anything in this world you love more than yourself."

But Gnomes didn't reply. He merely stared ahead blankly at the wall. Had he gotten lost in his own thoughts again? Watson hadn't thought he'd said anything worth contemplating, nor blocking out.

"... Are you certain you're alright, Gnomes?" he asked.

"I... Yes." Gnomes blinked fiercely and rapped the fingers of his other hand against the armrest of the chair. "It's curious. You are quite clever, Watson, but then... Perhaps, unable to decipher the very same enigma which plagues me."

"An enigma, Gnomes?" Watson repeated. What was there still left to solve, at this point? It must've been significant, if Gnomes himself still struggled to put a finger on it. How tragic, then, that he would assume Watson would be unable to decipher it also. Were the learned lessons being foregone already? He hoped not.

"The time I spent with Irene... Well, surely you recall. It was a jolly good romp for a while, but I always knew she would come second place to the mysteries and the chases. And she came to know this as well. So in the end, a jolly good romp was all it was. I did not think I could ever love someone the way she expected me to."

Indeed, Watson did recall those 'jolly good romps'. He remembered the pain on Irene's face, which grew more severe with every instance where she'd been snubbed. He also remembered her resolution on the day she decided she would get over him. It was so very easy to rope her into his plans because the two of them related to one another. They both knew just how painful it was to be dismissed by Gnomes. They both agreed that the lesson had needed to come sooner and there was nothing left to salvage, but then... Watson hadn't given up quite as much hope as Irene, it turned out. It was a good thing that he hadn't.

"Indeed. But what's that got to do with another puzzle?" he asked.

"When I saw you fall and I heard that dreadful smashing sound... Well, I didn't want to think about it, really. I pushed it from my mind before it could ever take root there, because if I'd allowed that... Well, I'm sure I would've been quite useless for the remainder of the investigation."

"Oh, Gnomes, I didn't mean for you to-"

"It was a clever ploy, of course. I fell for it. Didn't even stop to consider you might catch yourself. That warrants another apology, I believe."

"No, really, it's fine. Perhaps I'd gone too far with that."

Gnomes's hand curled around Watson's wrist more fiercely. He turned his head upwards once again, brow furrowed, features pleading. "Watson," he began softly. "If I'd lost you... If you were truly gone, what would I do with myself? That's what I was ruminating on, you see. It pains me simply to envision the hypothetical, which is to say nothing of what would happen if it were a reality. I've never felt anything of the sort for Irene. So will you tell me, please?"

The situation was surreal. To hear words like that coming from his old friend... Well, the plan truly had been far more effective than Watson had expected it to be, though the result was overwhelming. Perhaps even unnerving. To earn Gnomes's respect and partnership was one thing, but to hear that his presence would've been missed so very dearly... That was more than he'd ever bargained for, or even dared to wish for. He didn't know how to feel now. He didn't understand what was being asked of him.

"... Tell you what, Gnomes?"

"Isn't there someone I love more than myself, or the thrill of the hunt?"

Watson's mind went blank. He felt quite cold, all of a sudden. But then... Also hot at the same time, as if he were standing out in the blazing sun of a warm summer's day. Gnomes's eyes were still on his own, waiting, perhaps deducing. Watson didn't dare look away. He was cornered now- trapped in Gnomes's intense stare.

Before tonight, his response would have been clear. He would have laughed bitterly at the question, then turned away from it. But then... Before tonight, it never would have been asked. Gnomes had never taken such things into consideration until he'd been forced to. To have Gnomes reflect on how much he'd always relied on Watson, that had been the goal. An unexpected side-effect, then, was that Watson now had to reflect on how much he'd relied on Gnomes. He'd wanted be looked at, to be acknowledged, to be praised- to be close to Gnomes, the way he used to when they first began to solve cases.

"I think that... The only one who could ever answer that question is you, Gnomes," he ultimately said.

"I... I need a hint, I believe," Gnomes replied in a bit of a stammer. "Just a clue, a morsel. The tiniest bit of guidance when it comes to deciphering these feelings."

"I'm not much help there, I'm afraid. I may be just as lost as you are."

"Oh... Are you really?" Gnomes paused for a moment, lips pursing and nose crinkling as he mulled it over. "If we're both lost in the same manner, does that not imply we both experience these same feelings?"

"Ah..."

And still, Watson had no true answer to give. Just as Gnomes's brilliant mind failed to form an apology strong enough to do the sentiment justice, so too did Watson's own fail to translate his feelings into words.

-Feelings? Were there feelings after all?

After about ten seconds, Gnomes tore his attention away from Watson's eyes and returned to gazing at his own feet. "Perhaps... It would be presumptuous to expect an answer to this riddle this very night. We are both taken by exhaustion, I'm sure. Delirious with it, perhaps. So..."

Still, no cohesive sentences came to Watson. Even so, he did have a reply, he thought. It wasn't a very clever one, but it was a reply all the same. He leaned forward to press a kiss against Gnomes's cheek. The gesture clearly shocked his friend, for he made a rather funny noise and attempted to jump up out of the chair. His bad leg, however, had other plans. Gnomes slumped backwards before he could ever fully stand upright and Watson caught him by the shoulders with both hands on instinct, cushioning the fall.

"Whaa- Whaaaat... son....!" Gnomes tilted his head backwards to peer up at him. "What...?"

"That was the small clue you were searching for, which ought to help you decipher these feelings of yours," Watson explained with another wry smile.

Gnomes appeared stunned. However, he soon relaxed in Watson's hold and eased himself back into the chair properly. "Indeed, that was quite helpful," he said. "Whatever would I do without your assistance, dear fellow? You truly are indispensable."

"It's good of you to say such things out loud, Gnomes. I expect to hear much more praise in the future."

"Of course!"

Indeed, they were both exhausted and had more than enough time to continue 'ruminating' on their feelings. For now, Watson was quite content to leave it that. Immense progress had already been made, and aside from that... Mrs. Udderson was still lurking high above them.

#sherlock gnomes #this started as a shitpost #but then I just kept GOING #people were howling in chat #what is my life

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calpalirwin · 3 years

Text

Are We?

A/N: Based on Are We by Taylor Acorn cuz I’m obsessed with her music (and you should be too)

Word Count: 1.9k

And away, and away we go!

You could feel the music from Michael’s DJ setup thumping in your bones as you stepped outside, the cool night air immediately bringing goosebumps to your arms. You slid into the jacket you brought with you, catching a lingering scent of cologne as you did, and sighed. That’s what you got for leaving your jacket right next to his. That’s what you got for having his hoodie on your dresser in the first place.

“Yeah, it’s a lil on the cold side, isn’t it?” a familiar voice drifted into your ear and you turned to the sound.

“A little, yeah. Too bad you left your hoodie at my place.”

“Eh,” Ashton shrugged. “I don’t mind if it stays there honestly. I have plenty of others. And I’m over at your place a lot, so at least I know I’ll always have a back up if I need it, ya know.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” you tried to laugh off as you raised your gaze to properly meet his, feeling your stomach tie itself in knots.

“You good?” he prompted after a beat of watching you work your mouth, trying to form words and failing.

What are we? is what you wanted to ask, but what came out was a forced smile and a choked “Yeah, I’m good. Gonna grab a drink. Catch up later?”

“Sure thing,” he mumbled as you quickly walked off, before muttering a string of curses under his breath. “Just fuckin’ talk to her, for fuck’s sake…”

~~~

“Hey, I’m Ashton,” the brunette smiled widely at you, offering his hand.

“Y/N,” you smiled back, shaking his hand.

“Can I get you a drink?”

“No thanks, I’m good.”

Ashton giggled, pushing a hand through his hair. “Alright then. Well… if you change your mind…”

“I probably won’t, but I’ll find you if I do.”

“Cool.”

You sighed, maybe a little dreamily, as he walked off. Sure, he was cute. But the first time meeting butterflies in your stomach would settle eventually. And with how you and Ashton appeared to run in the same circle of friends, you needed the phase to pass without playing into it. A relationship was the last thing you needed right now anyway.

~~~

“Some fuckin’ phase…” you muttered to yourself as you grabbed a water bottle from a cooler. When you turned, you could see Ashton chatting with other friends of yours, his shirt being pulled tight against his back and shoulders as he moved his hands animatedly.

Your mind raced with who’s fault it was for the storm you couldn’t make sense of. On one hand, rationally, you knew it was your fault for being the one to set the friend boundary in the first place. But Ashton was the one who had crossed it. And now you were the one who felt like the clingy one-night stand, trying to put the pieces of a puzzle together with both sides blank. Although, in hindsight, maybe if it had only been a one-night stand, you could be playing it cool like he was.

~~~

“Oh, my God, get a room!” Calum groaned before chucking a pillow at Luke, and another one at Michael. “We have a rule against fucking in a public space for a reason.”

“We’re not fucking,” Michael defended, his words mumbled as his lips stayed locked on Crystal’s.

“Well, fuck you, I’m going to bed then. And wearing ear plugs I guess…” Calum rose to his feet with a huff.

“Night, mate,” Luke told him as he and Sierra came up for air, their foreheads knocking gently against each other’s.

Now alone to deal with the two couples making out like sex-crazed teenagers, you and Ashton shared a look where he made a kissy face that had you busting up laughing.

“Alright, fine!” Michael threw up his hands in defeat. “We’ll go to bed.”

“Have fun!” Ashton grinned.

“Use protection!” you joined in on the teasing as both couples headed to their own rooms. “Ugh…” you sighed, stretching your arms over your head. “Is it wrong to be jealous?”

“Jealous of what? That?” Ashton asked, motioning towards Luke and Michael’s rooms.

“Yeah. Not necessarily the relationship bit. Still not sure I want that. But God, to just get fucked senseless by someone who’s not a rando every now and again would be nice.”

“Well…” he started, and you noticed the subtle switch to his suggestive tone. “You know where my room is.”

“Are you seriously trying to hit on me right now?”

He shrugged, raising his hands defensively. “Look. You’re the one who said you wanted to get fucked senseless by someone who’s not a rando. I just happen to be someone who’s not a rando to you, and I have a great track record of being one hell of a lay. So… you could just go to your room, and do whatever it is you do. Or you could come to mine, and I’ll treat you to a good time, no awkwardness afterward guaranteed.”

“No one can know.”

“Pity… I like ‘em loud.”

“Ashton.”

“Alright, alright. This stays between you and me, got it. Not a problem.”

~~~

Both of you thought that it would just be that night. That if it happened too much, things would either get awkward, or you’d run the risk of your friends catching on. But sex with Ashton was like a drug. And now things were definitely awkward. Or at least, you were awkward. And you didn’t know how to take it all back. To be the people you were when you first met. And more than that, you didn’t want that. All this time, you thought it was space that you needed. But Ashton wasn’t someone you could erase. Because even if you acted like regular friends in public, those moments underneath the sheets were heaven. But you could do without each middle-of-the-night goodbye tearing you more and more apart. You could do without thinking about him in every spare moment, and second guessing everything you ever thought you knew about him. And you could really do without crying every time you tried to convince yourself that it didn’t matter whether it's all in your head, or if it’s real. But alas, it seemed like you were destined to be just another woman who fell for Ashton Irwin, wishing to wake up with him still next to you just once.

~~~

You stayed at Michael’s party for a while longer, making your rounds, while avoiding Ashton as much as you could, until you started your rounds of goodbyes.

“Headed out?” Ashton questioned, one arm wrapping around you for a side hug that made your insides twist more.

“Long day,” you half-lied.

He pulled a frown, wondering how much he should believe you or not. “Well, alright then. Text me when you get home so I know you got there safe?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“And uh…” he paused as his eyes darted around, checking to see if anyone was in earshot. “Call if you need to.” His breath was hot as it brushed against your ear, before his lips planted a quick kiss to the side of your head.

“Yep, see ya!” you said, maybe louder than you needed to before making your final exit.

Don’t call him, you thought on a loop the whole drive back to your apartment.

Don’t call him, you thought as you texted the group chat that you got home, rather than just him.

Don’t call him, you thought as you stared at your phone screen, finger hovering over his contact info.

Sighing, you set your phone face down on your nightstand. It’s not like calling him would do any good if you didn’t know what to say anyhow.

“Seriously, don’t do it,” you whispered to yourself as you changed into his hoodie for bed. If you couldn’t have him the way you wanted, this would have to be enough. Everything with all its complications would have to be enough.

You were double checking locks and turning off lights when your phone started ringing. You didn’t have time to process the name calling as you hit accept. “Hello?”

“Hey…” Ashton’s voice responded, sounding almost broken.

“You alright?”

“Are you?” he countered.

“Ash… look, it’s late, and I’m pretty tired.”

“I’m not calling you for sex, Y/N.”

“Then what else are you calling me for this late?”

“Would you just let me in please? It’s freezing out here.”

“Are you…?” You made your way through your apartment to the door, twisting the lock and pulling it open. “What are you…?”

“So you sleep in my clothes now?” Ashton asked, in lieu of answering your own half-asked questions.

“It’s comfortable…” you mumbled, crossing your arms over your chest, as he walked past you, and sat down on your couch.

“I’m not mad,” he said, as you shut the door and made your way to sit next to him. “I mean, it’s fine. I don’t care that you wear it. It uh… looks good on you that way.” As if to illustrate his point, his fingers ran over your bare thighs.

You shifted away from his touch, tucking your legs underneath you. “What do you want, Ash?” you asked, cutting straight to the point.

“I honestly don’t know. Cuz it changes. Sometimes I want my friend back because I feel like I’m losing her, especially these past few days. And other days… I dunno.”

“You think you’re losing me?”

“I mean…” he shrugged. “I hope I’m wrong. But yeah. It feels like that sometimes.”

“Ash…” You reached out to cradle his face in your hands, your thumbs brushing across his cheekbones. “You’re not losing me.”

“But it feels that way.” His hands pulled yours away from his face, but continued to hold them tightly as your hands dropped in his lap. “What did I do wrong?”

“Nothing! You did nothing wrong.”

“Then why are you acting like something’s changed?”

“Because something has changed, Ash.”

“Well, tell me! Tell me what it is, and I’ll fix it.”

“It’s me, Ash. I’m the something that’s changed.”

“I- I don’t think I understand.”

“I love you, Ashton.”

“I love you, too.”

“No. I’m in love with you.”

“Okay, and what’s so wrong with that?”

“Because you’re not in love with me back! Because I did this to myself! I tried to keep my distance because the last time I fell for someone I got hurt! But I let you get close anyway, because you’re you! And now I’m falling, and dammit I don’t wanna get hurt again!”

“Shh,” he soothed, pulling you into him as hot tears spilled down your face and onto his shirt. “Shh, it’s alright, Y/N. Everything’s alright.”

“No it’s not!” you sobbed into his chest. “I don’t know what we are, Ash! Are we just friends who have sex sometimes? Is that all we get to be to each other?”

“Look at me,” he coaxed gently, his hands rubbing up and down your back. “God damn it, look at me,” he repeated more sternly when you didn’t, his hands guiding your face to look at him. “Remember how I said I thought I was losing you?” he asked, his thumbs brushing away the tears as they continued to roll.

You sniffed loudly as you nodded.

“It’s because I’m in love with you, too. I thought I was pushing too far, and that’s why you were pulling away.”

You shook your head. “N-no. I was pu-pulling away, cuz I’m sc-scared to be in love with y-you.”

“Oh, honey, you don’t have to be scared of that.”

“I d-don’t?”

He chuckled lightly, placing soft kisses along your hairline. “Of course not,” he murmured. “Because we’re friends first, which means I’m not going anywhere.”

“But we’re more than that, too?”

“So much more than that.”

“Ash? Will you stay with me tonight? And be here in the morning?”

“Of course, baby.”

Tag List

@aquarius-hood1996 @creator-appreciator @philthepegacorn @myfavfanficsever @cxddlyash @youngblood199456 @stormrider505 @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @hoodhoran @metalandboybands @maybeememez @major5sosstan @kaitieskidmore1

#are we #ashton irwin #ashton irwin fic #ashton irwin x reader #5sos #calpal irwin

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samdotdocx · 3 years

Text

A very long-winded essay about why I love Night in the Woods and The Ramayana makes me Big Mad ft. Lets Talk About Mental Illness™

So I was in this class called 'The Ecology of Language". Excellent class, 10/10 would recommend - and especially relevant in the Indian context in particular, but that's a topic for another day.

One of the things we talked about was the concept of 'relatibality' in media, which, I'm sure we can all agree is a large component of contemporary character or story-line development. Considering the context of modern readers, what that sometimes ends up looking like (in our society that is built on constantly being told we are lacking, and the subsequent need to satisfy manufactured desires), is some wonderfully nuanced characters in stories stories that are three-dimensional, well rounded, and well developed and written. It's pretty great. And sometimes, what that means is that we have excellent characters that don't conform to the standard 'protagonist' stereotype. They might not even be 'good' (this is NOT a villain-apologist post). In fact, they might be complete idiots. They might be the people in stories who make all the wrong choices.

One such relatable character is Mae, and it's because she's an unmitigated train-wreck.

Anyone who knows the game probably knows what I'm talking about when I say the illustration style and character designs are gorgeous. Anyone who's ever dissociated probably knows what I'm talking about when I say that illustration style and character design were excellently used to create the sort of subliminal, surreal state of Mae's mind. And as you play the game, you see how that state of mind plays with the other characters, and - spoiler - it isn't great.

This is the first of the relatable aspects of Mae’s character; there are people around her who love her and are worried about her, but at the same time, are angry and irritated about her behaviour. At what point does it become too much to ask of those around you to forgive all your continuous and repetitive mistakes? Even if you have a good reason for it, mental illness is not an excuse for being exploitative, even if it is unintentional. Mae is not trying to hurt the people around her, but she constantly needs emotional labour from them – it’s exhausting, and people’s patience is going to run out eventually, as is their right.

Another aspect of this behaviour is the lack of reciprocity, an example of this being when Bea’s mother died of cancer – and Mae didn’t even notice.

There are several instances of Mae’s thoughtless behaviour throughout the game; she gets completely wasted and makes a scene at the party, gets jealous of of Greg and Angus because they’re leaving the town without her, and ends up destroying the radiator Bea was supposed to fix, getting her in trouble.

The thing is though, that Mae is given the opportunity to fix her mistakes.

A large part of relatability is the want so see yourself in a character. Mae is relatable to me because there are several circumstances and events in our lives that match up, but more than that; the game is an interactive visualization of her healing process. Her nine steps, if you will. She is given a second chance – and that chance is hard won, particularly in the context of the game.

Mae talks about feeling like she’s falling behind, of knowing that she is, in a way, wasting an opportunity that was a privilege in the first place, especially considering her family’s financial situation – but at the same time, being literally unable to help herself. And the aspects of the gameplay that hint at the supernatural elements of the story possibly being a figment of Mae’s imagination – well. All us depressed losers know what it's like to not be able to trust your own judgement and point of view. She talks about why she dropped out of college, and her description of the dissociation, and the mental and emotional deadening that it causes is spot on and so well represented.

It underscores the point that the logical brain knows that mental illness is an illness like any other – but the emotional brain doesn’t care.

The game does a brilliant job of laying bare the realities of middle class life, and makes painfully clear the fact that, at that level, it doesn’t matter how difficult things are for you. The world isn’t going to wait for you to get back on your feet.

Mae’s mental state and the limitations it imposes on her cultivates a state of extreme frustration. Again, relatable. It’s an understated aspect of illness of any kind; the anger at yourself, and how that anger carries over into a lot of things in your day to day life. After a point, it becomes a habit. Mae does this too; she's belligerent, and instigative, and unrepentant of consequences, because anger blinds you.

It's not how things will always be. I have the privilege of hindsight, so I can say that with authority. But, this isn’t the kind of thing that ever fully leaves you, either. If you break a kneecap, it’s going to bother you for the rest of your life, and similarly, mental illness has a ‘no return, no refund’ policy. So you grow up, and you try to adapt those habits and impulses into a more positive context. Recycling, right? Maybe you set your sights on things that actually deserve your anger, and you go from there. You find people who, for their own reasons, perhaps or perhaps not related to your own, are angry.

And you don’t understand the people who are not.

A large part of the anger and frustration surrounding mental illness is due to the stigma surrounding it. It’s frustrating to be so powerless and dependent, but this is exacerbated by the attitude of ‘it can’t be that bad’, which makes it so difficult to reach out, to be able to say, ‘I need a break’ – and actually get one. This is an attitude that carries over to a lot of other issues as well, and the worst part is – we are surrounded by people who are okay with it, who believe in and support that mentality.

The myth of Sita, for example. She is a strong female figure in Indian mythology, who overcomes her circumstances to live a ‘good’ life, and for all intents and purposes, is a hell of a role model.

But that’s the thing; her life wasn’t good, was it? She was supposed be a goddess reincarnated, she should have been powerful, and respected, but instead she is reduced to ‘wife’ – and everyone today is fine with it.

I respect her immensely for the choices she made; marrying for love was her choice, going into exile with her husband was her choice. She was the paragon of virtue, of 'wifeliness', of kindness – she chose her husband over everyone and everything else, including herself, as was expected of her. But yet – she couldn't win his trust or respect. It should not even have needed to be won.

It’s commendable the way she takes it all in stride, but why did she? She was kidnapped and held captive for years, entirely against her will, and her husband's response to that is to force her to walk through fire to prove her ‘purity’ – and she does it. And she stays with him after, and I cannot understand the depths of her patience and forgiveness, because I would have been livid, and I want her to be so too. I’m furious for her, because Ram was not just her husband, he was also the king, and his later verdict to exile her, alone, while heavily pregnant, his readiness to condemn her based on speculation and public sentiment, was not just a verdict against her, it was against every woman in his kingdom who had ever been victimised.

Sita became a martyr to the modern feminist movement – if she could not be angry on her own behalf, we will do it for her. But at the same time, she is still relatable, because we are held to a slightly lesser degree of the same expectations. There are always going to be aspects of things that you relate to. ‘Big Mood’ culture is a strong indicator of the human ability to empathise, especially with characters that you like, or respect.

Sita’s world, I imagine, was run by the expectations her society and community had of her, and maybe she didn’t even have the liberty to be angry. Who is responsible for portraying her in passive acceptance of her fate? Is that representation reliable? Would the story have been different had it been written by a woman?

I can't remember a time when I was not angry, especially about things like this. I am always ready to fight, and I think the same goes for so many other people today, sometimes to our detriment. I cannot imagine a world where that was not at the very least an option. Not necessarily the best option, - but Sita’s world was very different to ours. Even with centuries between us, we’ve just gotten over angry and depressed women being labelled as ‘hysterical’ and subsequently being locked away. What is it like, to have to be calm and careful in response to being treated like this? This care in response may not be an overt requirement anymore – though the fact remains that society will not take you seriously if you become hysterical - but shouldn't you, at the very least, be able to rely on the support of other people in the same boat?

That is the main difference in these stories, and another main point of relatability to me; Mae, like myself, had a support system. Sita did not. Mae was selfish and demanding in so many ways, and required a lot of time and patience and healing before she was able to give back, but she got there eventually because she was able to put herself first. She fought for herself, and when she couldn’t, she had other people to fight for her. Night in the Woods represents the intersection of oppressed minorities and community with their portrayal of Mae, Greg, and Angus in particular, and the importance of community support – and, the difference between geographical community, and communities formed through camaraderie and actual unity. And so does the Ramayana - except, where was Sita’s community? Where were her sisters, or her parents, when she was abandoned in the woods, and later when she committed suicide? We are well aware, in the modern day, of the state of mind that causes people to kill themselves, and yet that is a part of the story that we never talk about. Where were her people then?

What would have happened if she had been more like Mae, and put herself first instead of bleeding herself dry for people who never respected her, and would never do the same for her?

People relate to personalities. They relate to choices, and circumstances, and habits, and it is neither a good nor a bad thing, to be relatable or not. Sita will be highly relatable to people who, like her, were governed by their circumstances, and were screwed over despite their best efforts. People who felt they couldn’t, or shouldn’t exercise their power and agency. Sita’s death was at odds with her strong personality, and so was her deference to her fate on many occasions, but there are a lot of people out there who will relate to the feeling of simply wanting things to be over. Mae on the other hand; she’s a steamroller, and she doesn’t stop. There’s a reason her character is a cat, and jokingly referred to as feral in the game. She is persistent, she is growing.

[1] In Defence of Kaikeyi and Draupadi: a Note – by Fritz Blackwellhttps://www.jstor.org/stable/23334398?read-now=1&seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents [2] https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/10/emergency-room-wait-times-sexism/410515/

#ramayana discourse #night in the woods #sita #tw suicice #tw mental illness #mae borowski #spam-by-sam

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venusdeus · 3 years

Text

Court of Kings - Chapter 2

Summary: Sent to a neighboring kingdom to secure an alliance, forced to give up your dreams and ambitions, disregarded as a means to an end. You however have no desire to fulfil their wishes. And neither does Oikawa.

Pairing: Oikawa Tooru x female reader

Genre: Fluff, comedy, angst, royalty au, arranged marriage au, enemies to lovers au (more like enemies to allies to friends to lovers), eventual smut maybe?

Word count: 2165

Warnings: All the characters are adults unless specified. This chapter is sfw. Minors do not interact.

Notes: This is part 2. To start from the prologue, you can use this link.

Chapter 1 <...> Chapter 3

You prided yourself in not expressing your thoughts or your emotions on your face and having full control over your body language. In this situation, you thought, it was certainly a blessing. You did not want this man to read your thoughts even though hawk like eyes of his that were focused on you made you think he could.

“A very beautiful garden indeed.” Oikawa remarked for a second time that night, his hand resting behind his back “We do not have this many varieties when it comes to plants up north. It is rather cold there, especially when compared to here.”

The ball was still going on inside the palace walls and the music that was filling the rooms still managed to reach your ears no matter how far in the gardens you went. You two were thrown out together after the first few minutes into the reception, suggested, or more like ordered, by both parties to take a walk in order to get to know one another. Followed by royal guards and an entourage of maids and butlers of course. Thankfully, other nobles that would usually be following you, such as your ladies in waiting, were not present thanks to the ongoing event inside. Never truly alone as it wouldn’t be proper. And you never did something that wasn’t proper. Or at least when someone else could see you.

“As you mentioned previously your Highness.” You replied looking ahead. It was not because you were scared that you did not look at him, or so you tried to lie to yourself, it was because you concluded from his rather rude entrance that afternoon that he disliked you. A man who had disgust and anger written on his face before just as he was supposed meet his future betrothed was not a man worth knowing.

He went as far as not to speak unless spoken to when your family decided to give him and his company a tour of the palace that afternoon, your father being absent of course. And even your normally chatty brother trailed hiding behind you, not daring to talk to him. Oikawa looked too broad, too much like a giant next to his sickly form. His hand never left his sword either. Did he not know what a grave insult he gave you when he behaved as if you were after his head, you wondered. You would not blame him of course, not like you did not know the strained relations between the two countries. But it was rude, nonetheless.

The only interaction you had that day before the ball was limited to greetings and if you counted it, walking next to each other in the halls. In the evening, a dance to open the ball. And that was it until now.

“Princess,” he started as you winced at the name, he did not even bother to use your proper title when addressing you “I heard you also had an exquisite greenhouse. Would you be so kind to show me? I am quite curious.”

You finally decided to look at him, fully expecting to see the previous icy expression on his face but found him to be surprisingly smiling. No, maybe not a smile but a smirk, you thought, the kind that gives you shivers and makes you speechless.

You were certainly not stupid. Nor blind. Since the first time you laid eyes on him that day, you knew that all those rumors about him were true. He had a face that looked like it was painted by the master artists of the past, an angelic feeling to it. He was also tall, towering over you or even the guards. The ladies gushed about how lucky you were and how regal he looked.

If only he did not have that God awful expression on his face when you first saw him, you would have been as starstruck as the Palace staff. It was evident that he made up his mind about you before he even met you. So why should you try to get to know him.

“It would be my pleasure.” you answered turning right towards the greenhouse. You have passed it once or twice every week in your walks but you were never allowed in when the gardeners were present.

He did not speak again until you both stopped at the gates of the glass building. That's when he turned towards the staff and the guards that were following you and addressed them with a voice so sweet that could catch vermin.

“If you could please give her Highness and me a few minutes to tour inside I would really appreciate it.”

It was such an inappropriate suggestion that you could feel your face getting hot with anger. You knew he was rude, but you did not expect him to behave with the manners of a dog. It was no secret that he had done countless things you did not dare voice with other ladies or even commoners in places that seemed innocent enough until he was left alone with them. But to taint the reputation of a royal with such suggestion was another thing.

One of the wives of a southern Duke even recalled one evening, after the announcement of his upcoming visit, that one of the most magical nights she had was at his library at his court, giggling while you sat at the same round table as her, playing cards not even a meter away. It made your stomach turn and not just because of the story, but because of the look she gave you afterwards. It reminded you of the smug look your father’s mistress gave you whenever your paths crossed.

You couldn’t stomach the thought of having a similar faith wherever you went.

One of the butlers, god bless his soul, opened his mouth to object but was quickly shut down by Oikawa’s honey voice.

“The path inside looks very narrow you see. And I am not used to being in such a humid and small space with too many people. I can promise you that we won’t take longer than five minutes.”

In hindsight they should have not let him get away with such proposition. But he was the crown prince of one of the strongest kingdoms in this part of the world and he was also to be your future husband. You were not betrothed yet officially but it was as good as done. If it wasn’t they would not even be invited here.

Or maybe, you should have refused his request or asked only two guards to follow you. But one look at his face and your curiosity was peaked. You wanted to know what he wanted to achieve with such a risqué favor. So, you followed the wolf to its den. If any of the nobles heard of this, or god forbid your family, you would be as good as dead. But you could always order your maids to keep their mouths shut. You could never trust anyone to not talk of course, but a threat could do the work.

“I am bit of a botanist myself.” Oikawa said just before the doors closed behind you.

You couldn’t properly see your surroundings as the only light inside came from the moon shining above the tall glass ceiling, and sadly it was not enough to illuminate your path. Oikawa on the other hand was behaving as if he owned the place itself, walking ahead of you, only turning once to check if you were still following him.

“Though it is mostly a hobby.” He continued, finally stopping in front of a cactus like plant with lovely white flowers and turning to you.

“I am guessing you did not ask to come here alone just to talk about your botanical knowledge. What is it that you want to know?” You asked with a cold tone just as your eyes started to adjust to the dark setting.

The corners of his mouth lifted into what could be called one of the most sinister similes you have seen so far before he chuckled.

“I’ve been told you had a kind and warm disposition but that you are very naïve and certainly not very bright.” He said seizing you up.

You knew of your reputation. What other people did not know, however, was that this reputation of yours was created by non-other than you. Carefully thought of and highly fabricated. The life was easier when people did not expect much from you. It also made it easier to listen in on conversations. Afterall, they did not think you would understand or care. But something about Oikawa aggravated you so much that your delicately built facade crumbled into pieces in seconds.

“And I’ve been told you are a very handsome, intelligent and proper gentleman. What a shame we’ve been both lied to.” You replied before taking a step towards him as if to challenge.

He let out the first genuine laugh since his arrival at your rebuttal, his head tilting back. If it were any other person, they would be insulted at your words, but he seemed to be amused.

“What a shame indeed.” He answered also stepping towards you. “Truly disappointing.”

“Is it what you wanted? A naïve, dull and ignorant wife?”

“Is it important what I want?” he pondered crossing his arms.

“A submissive wife than.” You replied “Let me rephrase that. You needed a submissive and naive wife. For what reason may I ask?”

He acted as if he did not hear your question, opting to not even acknowledge it “If we are to come back to the topic at hand, you are right your highness. I wanted to come here alone to see your true character. I know firsthand how exhausting it is to play pretend with others around.”

“And what did you find?”

“That you are very spirited.” He said moving closer.

“Thank you.”

“That was not a compliment Princess.” He stopped a step away from you.

“Anything you deem disappointing in a woman is a compliment to me.” You replied closing the distance between you two, your bodies only inches apart. He seemed to be taken aback for a second before his eyes narrowed and he turned his head towards the plant you were standing next to.

“Selenicereus grandifloras.” He sighed.

“Huh?” the unladylike sound left your mouth over your confusion before you could stop yourself.

“It is also known as the ‘queen of the night’ for it only blooms once every year at night before its petals wither before the morning. We must be extremely lucky.” He elaborated tilting his head towards the fully blossomed flowers. “Even the most beautiful and spirited of flowers cowers when the light shines. Do tell Princess, where will you be once the morning comes?”

He inched towards you, bending down until his face was directly opposite of yours. It was the most indecent position and against your better judgement you were at a loss of words over it. The humidity inside felt ten times worse than it was as you could feel his hot breath on your face. He was so close that you could smell the soft leather, citrus and cinnamon in which you did not know if it was coming from him or from all the greenery around you. Only thing you could think was one wrong move and your noses would be touching. He seemed to be thinking the same as his gaze fell on your lips before he took a step back.

“Because I do not know where you will be your Highness, but I can tell you where you won’t be.” He scoffed “You won’t ever be standing next to me. You certainly won’t do.”

Turning his back, leaving you stunned and stuck he walked towards the path you took just a few minutes ago.

“I can tell you this with the uttermost confidence. You will never rule beside me. I will never marry you.”

And with that, he was gone.

Finally an interaction? Reblogs are appreciated! And also this was not edited I posted it right after writing it so if you see any mistake let me know.

I would love it if you could give me feedback! Thank you!

Disclaimer: No portion of this story may be reproduced in any form without permission. I do not own the character of Oikawa Tooru. This is a work of fiction.

TAG LIST: Let me know if you want me to tag you. If your name is in bold it means I can’t tag you.

@sassyglassesbunny @triskoof @m-a-r-i-a-s-b-l-o-g

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aomine-ryo · 3 years

Note

I just got my braces off about 4 days ago and idk if I like how I look yet cause of my confidence issues but could you do Aomine, Taiga, Murasakibara, Wakamatsu and maybe Haikzaki comforting their S/O I also use she/her pronouns! Thanks luv :) I hope you had a great Christmas if you celebrate if not a great 25th!

Oh god it’s been over a month since Christmas,, I’ve been so awful at posting I’m sorry!! For the record though, my Christmas was quite nice 😂 Anyways, I really wasn’t too sure while I was writing this but I hope you like it!!

Scenario: Kagami, Aomine, Murasakibara, Wakamatsu and Haizaki comforting their s/o

Didn’t find myself needing to use any pronouns here so I think anyone can read it!

Kagami

When it comes to being boyfriend— no, husband material, Kagami takes the cake. He’s so sweet and thoughtful towards you that you knew you could always go to him about anything. But sometimes there are things that afraid to talk to even him about because of your own insecurities.

Any kind of change tends to overwhelm you, especially if it had to do with your appearance— which is probably why you hated haircuts even if it was just a trim. However, this wasn’t just an issue of haircuts. You finally got your braces off.

Whilst you were a bit excited about it at first, once it was done you weren’t too sure about it anymore. Of course, you got a lot of comments about it when you went to school the next day, though most of the time it was just a statement rather than a proper compliment. “Oh Y/N, you got your braces off! Cool.” And that was about it.

You hated the attention, especially because you weren’t sure about the way it looked yourself. So you kept your talking to a minimum that day.

When school was over, you met Kagami outside the gate so that you could walk home together like you usually would. You quickly realised that it was inevitable that you had to talk to him.

“Hey babe, how was your day?” He beamed, patting your head as a way of greeting you as if you were a puppy.

“It was okay,” you mumbled.

Kagami furrowed his brows and looked at you again, trying to read your expressions to see if he missed anything that gave away any bad mood. “Doesn’t sound okay. Why are you talking like that?”

“It’s not—“

“Ooh you got your braces taken off! Lemme see,” Kagami said excitedly as you let out a groan.

“No, it looks weird,” you whined as you covered your mouth with your hand.

“I doubt it. Come on, you’re going to have to show me eventually,” Kagami pleaded as you kept walking and trying to act like it wasn’t bothering you.

You just shook your head no as you continued walking while Kagami trailed behind you.

“So are you just never gonna talk to me?” Kagami sighed.

You shrugged in response.

“Hm, I guess that means no more kisses,” Kagami said. You knew what he was trying to do, and you weren’t going to fall for it. So you just remained silent. “I think I won’t have you try any more of the food I make either then— you’d probably have to open your mouth to do that after all,” he provoked. Your stand wavered for a moment at the thought of that, but you knew he wasn’t serious so you continued to leave your lips sealed. “Wait, this means I could talk to you about anything! Let’s talk about basketball,” he said with a smirk— there was no way you were going to let this slide.

You loved Kagami with all your heart, and you loved listening to him talk about the things he was passionate about. However, when it came to basketball, the boy could talk for hours and still not run out of things to say. It also often ended with him forcing you to play a one-on-one with him because all the talking got him worked up.

You were still determined not to open your mouth though. You certainly weren’t all for the change so what if he ended up hating it too?

Kagami knew what he was doing. And you were painfully aware of that when the first thing he started talking about was a one-on-one he played with Aomine. He’d played so many games with him that every recount of events sounded the exact same to you. “...And I go for the dunk, and guess what he does?”

“He blocks it,” both of you said in unison as you started to chuckle.

A soft grin fell upon Kagami’s face as his heart warmed up at the sight of your smile. “How’d you know?” he said, his voice softening after going on his tangent.

“Because that’s what always happens,” you laughed.

Kagami dropped his jaw, pretending to be offended as his hand dramatically reached for his chest, “So you think Aomine is better than me now? I’m devastated,” he shook his head, though he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face even if he tried.

“Now you’re just putting words in my mouth,” you said, finally simmering down from your fit of giggles.

Kagami went silent for a moment. You looked up at him and found him just staring at you with the dorkiest smile ever.

“What?” You chuckled.

“See, I knew that your smile would look gorgeous no matter what,” he said, not taking his eyes off of you for even a second.

You hadn’t even realised until then that you’d forgotten about your worries of what you looked like. You really didn’t know how he did it; how he made you feel comfortable without even having to try. Just like that, the colour rose in your cheeks as you averted your gaze. “Stop it,” you blushed.

“What? I’m just stating a fact,” he shrugged, swinging an arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer to his warm body as you walked, making you stumble slightly. “You’ll always look stunning to me,” he said so softly that it was like it was only the two of you in this little world and no one else.

At this point, there was nowhere else you could look except into his eyes, and all you saw was love and sincerity. And suddenly, you didn’t mind beaming the brightest smile your face could muster, because in this little world of yours, the only person that mattered would do nothing but make you feel beautiful and loved.

Aomine

It wasn’t like you to skip school over absolutely nothing, but you felt like you would rather die than get any attention for having your braces taken off. It was inevitable that you had to go to school at some point, but you just decided to not go for at least a day to get yourself used to the change.

Of course, your boyfriend, Aomine wasn’t the most pleased when he went to school that day and found out that you were absent. What you weren’t expecting, however, was for him to be at your doorstep after school was over. In hindsight, you should’ve known that he would use visiting you as an excuse to not attend practice.

“Hey, is everything alright? You weren’t at school today,” Aomine questioned once you opened the door and let him in.

“Mhmm,” you hummed with a slight nod.

“You know, a text would’ve been nice. I spent all of recess looking for you and then Satsuki told me you weren’t at school,” he explained with a heavy sigh, “It was exhausting.”

“Sorry,” you mumbled, causing him to look your way with a confused expression.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked again.

You nodded in response, not wanting to open your mouth.

“Are you not going to ask me why I skipped practice?”

You shook your head no.

“Well, if you must know,” Aomine went on anyway, “I came here to check up on you. But seems to me like you don’t want to talk to me today.”

You didn’t respond, causing Aomine to get even more worried.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked softly.

You shook your head almost immediately.

“Then why won’t you talk to me?” Aomine said, tilting his head to the side to meet your gaze, though you immediately looked away.

“It’s nothing, I just don’t look that good today,” you mumbled, making sure to turn your head away from him so he couldn’t see your face.

“Hm? Is that so?” Aomine said, looking you up and down with furrowed brows. “You look beautiful as always to me.”

You let out a heavy sigh. He was going to find out anyway. “I got my braces taken out yesterday,” you said.

Aomine’s eyes lit up immediately as he looked at you expectantly, as though you were supposed to flash him a smile and show off your teeth like it was nothing. And honestly, if you had the confidence you would’ve, but you didn’t. “Well, are you going to show me or not?” Aomine asked.

You shook your head yet again.

Aomine frowned as he got closer to you. “Why not?”

“Because it looks weird,” you muttered as your eyes stared at the floor.

Aomine’s fingers brushed through your hair before reaching to your face to caress your cheek lovingly, making you melt instantly at his touch. “I don’t think you’re even capable of such a thing. You’re always gorgeous,” he said softly.

“No I’m not,” you mumbled, trying not to be swayed by the tenderness of his calloused fingers.

“Of course you are,” he said as his hand made its way down to your chin to tilt it up so you were looking up into his eyes. “You know, whenever I look at you my immediate thought is ‘Woah how’d I get so lucky?’”

“You’re just saying that,” you blushed, trying to fight back the smile that was creeping across your face. He was so close to you and your heart was racing at 100 miles per hour.

“I’m serious,” he said, unable to stop smiling himself at they way you were just putty in his hands. “Your smile is so much brighter without the braces by the way. I love it,” he added smoothly, making you want to giggle like an idiot.

“Really?”

“Of course, you dummy. I can’t even believe you were worried about that in the first place. You’re beautiful no matter what,” Aomine said. “You know that I’ll never stop thinking of you that way right?”

For a moment you stopped worrying about what you looked like and let yourself relax into a smile. Something about the softness of his voice and the way he held you close made you feel at ease— almost as if you could finally be your true self as you nodded in response. “Yeah, I know,” you said as you finally looked at him in the eye before he finally leaned in and gave you the kiss you’d been anticipating for minutes. And when his lips finally brushed against yours you could feel nothing but gratitude for having someone like him to remind you that everything will be okay.

Murasakibara

Murasakibara liked to come over a lot. When you first started dating you expected it to happen since his house was just down the street, but it was to the point where he practically lived with you. You didn’t mind at all though, you liked having him around. Your parents seemed to enjoy it too— especially since he offers to cook meals when he gets hungry, which saves your mother the effort.

However, with him always being over, it was hard to keep things hidden from him. Of course, both of you knew when to give each other space, but any changes to your physical appearance would be near impossible to hide— unfortunately for you.

When you got back home from your dentist appointment, where you finally had your braces taken out, you barely had much time to settle in when you got a call from Murasakibara. “Hey, I’m bored. Are you back from the dentist yet?” he spoke.

“Yeah I am, but—“

“Great, I’ll be over in a few minutes,” he said before you could protest. The happiness you could hear in his voice certainly didn’t make you want to turn him down either.

Just like that, the phone call ended and you let out a heavy sigh as you looked at yourself in the mirror. You’d been standing there for a few minutes prior to the call, trying to figure out how you felt about your new look. Whilst the braces caused you enough issues on their own, you’d become so accustomed to them that it was strange looking at yourself now. If you thought it looked weird, you couldn’t help but wonder what other people would think, thus sending you down a spiral of insecure thoughts all over again as Murasakibara’s arrival made you more and more nervous.

You knew Murasakibara couldn’t care less about anyone’s appearance. In fact, he didn’t even notice that time where Kise showed up to a get together with purple hair from accidentally using his sister’s purple shampoo until Aomine made fun of him for it. So realistically, you shouldn’t have been worried about what Murasakibara would think— but you still were.

You often tend to get really quiet when you’re anxious and the fact that your insecurities had to do with your teeth this time, it was all the more reason to just keep your mouth shut.

“Hey Y/N-chin,” Murasakibara greeted with a soft smile when you opened the front door for him. “I was going to get you some snacks, but then I remembered that you just went to the dentist so I got you some of that fruit juice you like,” he said, digging through his bag of snacks before pulling out a can and handing it to you.

“Thank you, that’s really sweet,” you said softly, happily taking the juice.

“Don’t mention it,” he said coolly as he planted a kiss on the top of your head before walking to your room with you trailing behind him.

As usual, Murasakibara plopped down onto your bed as if it were his own, letting out a tired sigh as he did so. “You know, while you were gone, I tried doing the math homework for the weekend, and it was the worst experience ever. I couldn’t even get past the second question,” he said, making you let out a small chuckle.

He was so open with you that it made you feel at ease. “Well at least you did the first one,” you shrugged, forcing back your toothy grin when you noticed him direct his gaze at you.

“Yeah, but I probably got that one wrong too,” he sighed before sitting up with his back against your headboard. “Anyways, how was the dentist?”

“It was okay,” you mumbled.

“Then show me your teeth,” he said, not particularly expectant of anything though there was a trace of interest as he absentmindedly munched on his chips.

“I don’t know, it looks really weird...”

Murasakibara’s eyebrows furrowed. “Weird? They’re just teeth,” he said simply.

“Well yeah, but, I don’t know,” you said, trying to find a way to respond to his statement. You forced a smile to show him your teeth before frowning again, “See? Doesn’t it make my face look weird?”

“No, you still look pretty to me,” he shrugged.

As sweet as that was, you still weren’t convinced. You found yourself staring at yourself in the mirror once again, picking yourself apart as you tried to decide whether you liked it or not. The more time you spent in front of that mirror, the more frustrated you got. And Murasakibara seemed to notice it through the agitated and hopeless look on your face.

You noticed Murasakibara get up from the corner of your eye, though you didn’t pay too much attention to it. Next thing you knew, you felt a pair of arms snake around your waist from behind you. You watched Murasakibara in the mirror as he rested his chin on your head.

“Y/N-chin, you look perfect. There’s no need for you to criticise yourself in the mirror like this, you know,” Murasakibara mumbled, unable to keep his eyes off of the gorgeousness of your reflection.

“I’m just trying to get used to it, that’s all,” you said, in what was a half-lie.

“I don’t think people frown that much when they’re getting used to something,” Murasakibara said. He leaned down and tilted his head to smother your cheek and neck with kisses as he held you tight. “You’re beautiful— I mean it,” he said against your neck.

Butterflies erupted in your stomach. Murasakibara was always one to speak his mind, so any compliments from him you knew were 100% genuine. Of course, the kisses definitely helped you sway your opinion about yourself as you began to giggle at the feel of his breath against your neck. “Atsushi, that tickles,” you laughed as you tried to move your neck away, however you were held captive by tight grip around you.

Murasakibara smiled as he watched how the expression on your face changes. He was glad that he was able to take your mind off of things for a moment. “You have a cute smile,” he said softly, making your cheeks flush a bright red.

You immediately looked away in embarrassment as a dorky grin spread across your face. “Shut up.”

“Well, are you finally going to pay some attention to me rather than your mirror? I came all the way here you know, the least I could get is some cuddles,” Murasakibara went on.

“All the way here? Atsushi, you just crossed the street,” you laughed.

“I don’t see you point. So am I getting cuddles or not?”

“Of course.”

Wakamatsu

Wakamatsu is seriously one of the most caring boyfriends ever. You wouldn’t be able to find someone as sweet and loving as he was even if you tried your absolute hardest. You were nothing but grateful for having someone like him because you hardly ever found yourself worrying about trivial things that would constantly bug you previously.

But like any other person, you had moments where your insecurities would get the best of you, and it could be quite tolling sometimes because you’d never let yourself bring it up with the people you were close with. It was quite a silly way of thinking because Wakamatsu was always more than happy to listen, but you couldn’t help it. That’s just how your brain decided to deal with things.

So when you finally got your braces taken off, you were naturally unsure about how you appeared. Of course, you were aware that you just needed to get used to it, but a smaller, though much louder part of you was extremely anxious about having judging eyes on you thinking that you looked as strange as you perceived yourself to be. Therefore, to avoid any questions or weird looks at school the next day, you decided to wear a mask and pretend you had a cold so no one would see your mouth.

When Wakamatsu came over that morning so that you could walk to school together like you usually would, he immediately went into concerned-mode upon seeing your mask. “Hey, what’s wrong? Why do you have a mask on?” he asked.

“Oh um, I’m not feeling too well. It’s nothing serious though. Just don’t wanna get anyone else sick,” you lied.

“Are you sure? Maybe you should just stay home and get some rest. You can copy my notes,” he said, his concern so genuine that it was like he was mothering you at that point.

He was too sweet. You couldn’t just lie to him when he was just trying to be helpful. “No, no it’s fine,” you said, trying to muster up the courage to tell him the truth.

“No, I insist. You have to take care of yourself—“

“I’m not actually sick,” you finally admitted. “I got my braces taken off yesterday and I don’t like how I look,” you mumbled, staring at the floor out of embarrassment.

“Oh,” Wakamatsu simmered down from his insisting and processed what you’d just said. And honestly, if he were to take the time to fully understand why you said that, you’d be standing there all day because he couldn’t even fathom the idea of you looking anything but amazing to him.

“Yeah, so can we just head to school now?” you said to fill the silence, not wanting to be late.

“Um, I’m not going to ask you to show me or anything because I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Wakamatsu started again as you two walked along the driveway, “but I think you’re probably overreacting.”

“Maybe,” you shrugged. “Either way, I don’t like how I look and I don’t want other people to see me until I’ve decided that I do.”

“I guess that’s fair,” he sighed. “I just hope you know that I think you’re always really pretty.”

“Really?” you asked softly as you looked up at him again, the sudden eye contact causing him to get more flustered.

“Of course. You’re absolutely gorgeous Y/N. And I bet if you took that mask off that fact would not change,” Wakamatsu confirmed as he smoothly took your hand in his and squeezed it tight as you walked along the pavement.

You began to soften up for a moment. It was almost as if the warmth of his hand had made its way throughout your entire body, making you feel all fuzzy. However, you still weren’t ready to display your new look to everyone at school, even after the boost of confidence Wakamatsu had given you. So you kept the mask on that day.

Your boyfriend was very patient with you. It was one of things you loved about him. Even after he reassured you that you would look good no matter what, you never felt even an ounce of pressure to show him until you were truly comfortable— and he certainly didn’t mind waiting. Luckily for him, his wait wasn’t too long because you did end up showing him during lunchtime.

The two of you sat at your usual place— a bench that was fairly secluded— as you unwrapped your purchases of snacks from the canteen. You really appreciated how he didn’t bring up your braces again after you chat that morning. He was so normal around you that being with him just made it feel as good as any other day, which is probably what led you to forget about it altogether when you took off your mask to take a bite out of your sandwich.

Wakamatsu looked at you with a smile on his face, which you didn’t question too much because he had a tendency to do that every now and then. However, they remained fixated on you for a while as you swallowed your food and began to chuckle, “Why are you smiling at me like that?”

“It’s nothing. I’m just happy because I’m always right,” Wakamatsu shrugged smugly.

“What?”

“I was right— you always look absolutely gorgeous,” he said nonchalantly as you were immediately reminded about your braces-free teeth, making your face heat up at the compliment.

You weren’t sure what it was about that moment where your eyes met and lips shared the same happy smiles, but you felt at ease. Wakamatsu really didn’t have to try to comfort you— all he had to do was be there and it was enough. But he didn’t ever think like that. He constantly went out of his way to make sure you were happy and comfortable at all times. And when you weren’t, it was pretty much guaranteed that he wouldn’t leave your side until you saw yourself with the same amount of admiration as he sees you.

And whilst by the end of the school day you had more or less regained some of your confidence, Wakamatsu still decided to spend more time with you at your house, where he smothered you with warm cuddles and soft kisses, all while reminding you how beautiful you were to him.

Haizaki

If you think that Haizaki isn’t exactly the best at comforting, well, you’d kind of be right. He’s not someone that takes things seriously most of the time so his solution to most problems tends to have the “it is what it is” mentality. You didn’t mind this too much though, in fact you liked how laid back he was, however that also made it a bit difficult for you to approach him about certain things that made you feel insecure.

He was a caring boyfriend, don’t get me wrong; he truly did love you. And sometimes you did agree with him about letting things be the way they are. But sometimes he just doesn’t understand why you feel a certain way because the situation seems so trivial to him. For example, when you finally got your braces taken off, you weren’t exactly feeling the most confident. Sure, it was nice to finally get that damn metal wire out of your mouth, but at the same time, the change was quite overwhelming.

Of course, Haizaki, who spends an awful lot of time texting you because he really has nothing else to do, knew about you getting them taken off before he saw you again at school the next day. However, you weren’t all that excited to show him, or anyone for that matter, because you really hadn’t gained the confidence back yet. Nevertheless, you went on with your day, doing your best to minimise your speaking so others wouldn’t notice the change.

Once it was time for lunch, Haizaki approached your desk, his eyes as tired as they always were during the school day. “God, I slept through that entire English class— what a bore,” he yawned.

“It wouldn’t hurt to pay attention once in a while, you know,” you said as you shoved your books into your backpack.

“Anyway,” Haizaki continued, knowing that he didn’t want to get into a conversation about his awful study habits. “You got your braces taken off right? Go on, give me a smile,” he said in a joking tone.

“No, I don’t like how it looks,” you said firmly.

“Mhm,” he hummed, “doesn’t matter. I want to see for myself.”

“No way, it looks weird,” you said softly as the classroom emptied.

“I can decide that for myself.”

You looked up at the eyes that were hovering above your desk. He wasn’t going to back down. You let out a sigh and flashed him an uncomfortable smile as you waited for him to say something. Each moment of silence convinced you more and more that he hated how you looked just as much as you do.

“I don’t see why you were complaining so much,” he said with a shrug and a small grin on his face.

“I feel like I look awful,” you muttered.

“Awful? You? Please,” Haizaki scoffed. “You’re hot as fuck.”

“I’m really not...”

“Are you calling me a liar?” Haizaki questioned, determined to prove his point.

“No, but—“

“You’re really fucking beautiful, Y/N,” he interrupted. “If anyone tries to tell you otherwise, I won’t hesitate to throw hands— that’s how much I believe it.”

You couldn’t help but giggle at that last part. “Babe, you wouldn’t hesitate to throw hands with anyone.”

“Shut up. My point still stands. Now how do I get you to see how pretty you are?” he said, trying to think of something clever.

“I’m afraid that’s not possible,” you said, half-joking.

Next thing you knew, Haizaki had leaned in and pressed his lips against yours ever so passionately, taking you by surprise. It took you a moment to realise what was going on before you quickly pulled away— even though you quite enjoyed it.

“Babe, were in a classroom,” you scolded softly, though you couldn’t fight back the grin that was spreading across your face.

“So what? No one’s here,” he said, voice as deep as ever. “Besides, I’m trying to remind you how pretty you are— that’s more important.”

“How exactly is that going to remind me?” you chuckled.

“Well, I wouldn’t just kiss anyone like that, now would I?”

“I suppose,” you said with a smile.

“In all seriousness though, I really don’t know why you think you don’t look good, because in my eyes you’re the most beautiful thing ever,” he said, sincerity in his eyes.

You began to blush at the sound of his words. It might take a while for you to feel more confident about yourself but this was certainly helping. “When did my Haizaki get so tooth-rottingly sweet, huh?” you teased jokingly.

Haizaki rolled his eyes and pretended to be annoyed at you but the smile on his face really said otherwise. “Shut up.”

#kuroko no basket #kurokos basketball #kuroko no basket x reader #aomine daiki #kagami taiga #murasakibara atsushi #wakamatsu kousuke #haizaki shougo #knb

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mostlycompetentwriter · 4 years

Text

Blueprint

Part of the Stray Wolves Series

F/M Pairing: Y/N x Lee Felix (SKZ)

Genre: Vampire AU; Werewolf AU; Forbidden Love AU; Prequel

Warnings: Graphic Smut; Explicit Language; Blood Drinking

Word Count: 8K

Summary: Y/N is tired of her werewolf pack dictating her choices, especially when they force her into an arranged marriage with a younger friend. In retaliation, Y/N sneaks out one night in direct defiance of her alpha’s orders, and she meets a mysterious vampire who allows her the first tempting taste of freedom...and she might just fall in love with him in the process.

A/N: This was supposed to be for Felix’s birthday, but I’ve got something else that I could release for him, so here ya’ go!!

Blueprint: “a detailed outline or plan of action: a blueprint for success.”

My life had always been dictated by the choices of others instead of my own. For example, when I turned 16 and endured my first painful heat, our pack alpha declared that I was finally ready to mate. It was a scary thought for me to process, and I begged my father not to force me into an arranged marriage.

However, he was stern in his handling of the situation, refusing to disobey his alpha, but more than willing to pair me with a much younger werewolf named Mark who wasn’t quite ready for the mating ceremony because he still hadn’t gone through his first rut. In hindsight, I knew that it was a logical compromise, but I was still upset because I didn’t want to mate with another wolf and have pups. Plus, Mark was one of my friends, and I was troubled by the thought of presenting myself to him.

It ignited a fierce passion deep inside of me, and I rebelled against my pack for the first time that night by escaping into the darkness of the forest when the moon was at its highest point. You see, our alpha had mandated a curfew for the pack omegas, but I defied his orders and considered the possibility of running beyond our defined borders and into the surrounding mountains. But as I paced alongside the river separating our territory from a rival pack, contemplating several life-changing choices, I suddenly realized that I wasn’t alone.

But it was when I first turned around to confront the stranger watching me from the trees that I experienced my first taste of regret for leaving the pack without informing another member. Because upon closer inspection, I realized that he was startling beautiful - peering at me with vibrant blue-colored eyes that were hidden beneath white, cascading hair. My wolf growled because I understood well enough that he was a vampire, and that made him a natural enemy of my people. Yet, the boy didn’t attack me like I feared; instead, he studied me carefully as if I was something particularly interesting.

“This is not your land, vampire,” I said, attempting to sound a lot more confident than I felt.

He smirked at my feeble attempt to stand up to him. “I have no land.”

I shivered at his tone. “What does that mean?”

“I’ve been banished from my coven,” he continued. “They gave me rogue status when I left.”

“Still, that doesn’t give you the right to be here!”

“I should think that you don’t really belong out here either,” he continued. “This forest holds many dangers.”

“You don’t know me,” I snarled.

“It’s a strange place for an unmated omega,” he continued while looking at my chest. “And you’re ready to carry pups.”

I gasped at his audacity, and I quickly covered myself with my hands. “Mind your own business!”

The vampire chuckled. “Relax, I have no plans to hurt you.” He swaggered forward with an unrivaled arrogance, leaning in to inhale against the side of my neck. “You do smell like something that I would enjoy playing with.”

I took a step back to create some distance between us. “I’m patrolling the border.”

“Alone?” he questioned. “I know your alpha, and he’s quite strict when it comes to his pack’s females. Actually, I’m surprised that you’re not already mated.”

“Who says that I want a mate?” I returned, sending him a challenging stare. “I’m not some pliant bitch who plans to open her legs for anyone!”

“Clearly,” he said, running his tongue across sharp fangs. “But you’ll learn to obey your pack leader, just like the other mindless pups who fall in line with the status quo.”

“Well, I’m not like those other wolves,” I insisted. “I can think for myself!”

“Really?” he asked, eyebrows shooting up into his bangs. “Prove it to me.”

“What?” I asked, hesitating because I wasn’t sure how to handle his request.

“Show me that you won’t give in,” he said. “Do something that would demonstrate this defiance you have against your alpha.”

I growled because I despised the arrogance in his tone, reaching out for the collar of his shirt to pull him closer. It pleased me to see the vampire caught off-guard, and I quickly pressed my lips against his just to shock him even more. Still, I couldn’t help but grimace when the taste of him reminded me of copper, and I closed my eyes while shivering because of his cold skin. But I eventually pulled away after a moment, studying his expression with a smile. “See?” I said. “I’m not like the other wolves.”

The vampire took his time opening his own eyes, looking at me with a gaze that reminded me of the ocean. Then, he grabbed me by the shoulders before leaning down to kiss me again. However, this time it was my turn to be shocked, and I pulled away to gape at him. “That’s cute, little pup,” the vampire said. “Do you know what else would really make your alpha seethe?” I froze in place when his hand reached down to cup the heat between my legs. “Your alpha wants a good virgin wolf,” he continued. “Maybe you should be the one to decide who gets the honor of fucking this pussy for the first time.”

His words were crude, but they were nothing short of arousing, and I launched myself at the vampire and molded my lips to his, kissing him feverishly as my hips started to grind against the telling erection in his leather pants. But it was like an electric shock had amplified my senses, and despite the taboo nature of coupling myself with a vampire, I couldn’t deny that every part of me was begging for him. I didn’t even know his name, but he had managed to awaken a part of me that was determined to start making choices for myself.

Subsequently, I lost my virginity to that alluring vampire in the middle of the forest alcove, naked against the silencing watch of the moon as I took his cock and experienced my first taste of a pleasure that I had chosen for myself. Thereafter, I continued to meet him often, returning to that alcove and waiting for him to arrive with his ocean eyes and snowy-white hair. For the most part, we fucked in our little private shelter with the sound of the river in the background. However, there were also nights when we simply enjoyed one another’s company, talking about our vastly different worlds and the places where we had come from.

He told me that his name was Felix, and I whispered my name in return. Paradoxically, such a simple act opened a deep intimacy between us, and it made everything better because we had both decided to cherish our brief moments together away from the regular monotony of our lives. And he always listened to me with admirable patience, offering me advice with a wisdom that defied the age he appeared on the outside.

“My alpha did promise me to someone,” I told him one night. “We’re supposed to mate after his first rut.”

“Someone younger?” he questioned, turning over onto his side. “That little mutt won’t know how to please a woman.”

“He’s actually my friend,” I said softly. “I don’t think either of us want to go through with it.”

“Then don’t,” he suggested as if we were talking about something as simple as the weather.

“That’s not how things work in the pack,” I said.

“I thought you weren’t going to let them tell you what to do,” he said, looking at me with those irresistible eyes.

They filled me with courage, and I nodded my head determinedly. “I’ll run away if I have to.”

He laughed. “You don’t have to go that far, pup. The rogue life isn’t exactly glamorous.”

“You’ve survived,” I pointed out. “Maybe we could just go somewhere together.”

He grinned. “I guess we could.”

Meanwhile, I moved myself closer to him, cherishing our close connection. “Let’s start something on our own, like a combination of a pack and a coven.”

“Oh?” he asked, wordlessly moving himself on top of me. “Would you like that, pup?”

I nodded frantically. “We could lead it together.”

“It sounds so sweet coming from your lips,” he said, spreading my legs to make more room for himself. “Hmmm...I can smell your arousal.”

I blushed at the comment. “Maybe I missed you.”

“Is that right?” he questioned. “Let’s see how much you missed me, pup. Take off these clothes for me.”

I happily complied, eagerly tossing my shirt over my head before reaching down for the button on my jeans. Perhaps in another life, I might consider taking my time and putting on a show for him, but I was probably one of the clumsiest wolves in the pack, and it was better for me to remove them without incident. “Good?” I asked, shyly, whimpering when he pulled my panties down my legs.

“Let’s spread these some more,” he said, pushing my thighs apart and releasing a guttural moan. “I want to see your pretty cunt.”

I threw my head back at his words, feeling exposed under the weight of his gaze, especially when he started tracing my swollen labia, parting the delicate folds and rumbling low inside his chest. “Please,” I whispered.

“You’re begging already, pup?” he asked, grabbing my knees and keeping them spread wide. “Look how wet you are. Did you get like this talking about that future mate of yours?”

I shook my head. “It’s always you, Felix.”

“Oh? Well, it’s a good thing that this pussy belongs to me, then.” he said, and I tried not to moan when I felt his hot breath contradict with the cold sensation of his hands. It sent tremors down my spine, and I watched as his tongue collected the arousal that had started to form courtesy of his irresistible presence. And I knew exactly what he was going to do, but it still felt indescribably good to feel him trace my slit, mouthing at my clit and sucking the sensitive bud into his mouth.

He started a steady rhythm, eyes watching me the entire time as his tongue explored my wet heat - sharp teeth bright under the moonlight. The sounds of his tongue lapping at my arousal were loud, and I fisted my hands at my sides as I started to grind against his face. My pleasure was steadily mounting, and it was comparable to nothing else in this world - exquisite luxury of which I had started to form an inescapable addiction. But Felix had a wicked tongue, and he sometimes spent most of our nights together eating me out while whispering dirty things that left me trembling for more.

In the meantime, I could feel some of my slick leaking down my ass, and it felt like he was doing his best to taste as much as he could. “Feels good,” I slurred, and he chuckled at my comment.

“I bet it does,” he said, slipping two fingers into my tight heat and forcing me to arch my back at the rough penetration. “Relax.”

“I can’t,” I whined, and I was blissed out as he thrusted his fingers in and out of my soaking wet pussy while his tongue lapped at my clitoris. He curled them deep inside, brushing against my g-spot, and I moaned at the wildly intoxicating sensation.

“Can you come for me with just my fingers?” he asked, adding a third as he continued to pump them inside of me, creating filthy squelching noises that disturbed the quiet of the forest.

“Yes,” I panted because I always wanted to please him, and Felix’s deep groan was nothing short of sinful when I started pulsating around his fingers. It was like something inside of me had snapped, and his fingers were still curling against my overstimulated walls as my hips steadily rode the waves of my orgasm until it was verging on the edge of too much.

“Felix,” I cried, wrapping my fingers around his wrist while he pulled his fingers from my heat, licking them with a concentrated expression - like it was blood instead of my arousal. “So good, pup,” he praised, and I beamed at him while enjoying the post-orgasmic glow surrounding me. However, Felix was clearly not finished yet, and I whined when he circled his fingers around my swollen clitoris. “Can you take my cock?” he asked and I shakily agreed.

Felix stood long enough to remove his jeans, tugging at his erection as he surveyed my pliant form. He had such a nice dick because it wasn’t as mind-numbingly large like my older sisters always complained of their alphas, but it was big enough to leave me feeling satisfied. “It might be interesting,” he said. “To see you take a knot, but I’d be too jealous to let that happen.”

He took his place between my thighs, pulling me even closer as his fingers traced my gaping opening. “Could this pussy even handle a knot?”

“Let me have it,” I whimpered, rubbing myself shamelessly against his cock and shivering when it traced against my folds.

“I’ll give you everything, pup,” he promised, and then his cock was splitting my tight heat, stretching me open as I clawed at the grass on either side of my head. “Such a tight pussy,” he commented, and I could tell that he was holding himself back from hurting me.

Naturally, Vampires were born with uncanny speed, and that applied to more than just running through the forest. For example, Felix sometimes liked to show off just how fast he could move his hips while fucking me with his cock, but we always gradually worked up to that, allowing me to adjust around him first. Otherwise, I would be left an incoherent mess incapable of uttering a single syllable while he had his way with me.

Yet, at the same time, I could also feel his sharpened incisors edging along the prominent vein pulsing with blood. I titled my neck to the side to give him better access because I never minded it when he took some blood while we had sex. However, he simply chuckled at my submissive behavior, wrapping his fingers around my throat as he started to quicken the pace of his thrusts. Consequently, my little whines increased in volume, knowing that he could literally drill his cock inside if he really wanted. “Oh, fuck,” he cursed. “You look so good on my cock, love.”

I closed my eyes, fingers brushing the soft grass around me to provide a steady anchor. Especially when he reached for one of my legs, hoisting it around his waist for a better angle at my stretched opening. Felix pulled all the way out, looking down at where his tip teased the entrance of my gaping hole. But there was no oxygen left inside my lungs when he filled me up again with his impressive length, allowing a faster rhythm while he studied me with hooded eyes. The new position was making it very difficult to breathe, but I wanted to be so good for Felix, and I tried to focus on the remarkable way that his cock managed to hit so deep as it ruined the soft walls of my pussy. “Felix,” I whispered. “Drink from me.”

His eyes grew wider, but he nodded and leaned down, positioning my neck to his liking. I grimaced when his canines bit down for the first time, but it rapidly turned more enjoyable when he released the familiar endorphins that always made me feel like I was high. He started drinking in long and languid pulls, and I swore I could feel his cock grow even larger inside of me as he swallowed down my blood.

He finally pulled away gasping, eyes flashing red as he grabbed my legs and started to literally force me down onto his cock, moving so fast that I could barely find the time to scream at the overwhelming pleasure. “Stay still for me, love,” he requested while his hand gripped my chin. “I want to see that pretty face when you cum on my cock.”

It didn’t take me long after that, contracting around his length as I came for the second time that night. Felix grunted when he felt me squeeze around his erection, and his cum was surprisingly warm when it started to leak out of the place where we were still connected. But my lungs were also on fire, chest falling up and down as I slowly came back from the precipice of my all-consuming orgasm.

And Felix bent down and inhaled against my neck, tongue sweeping out to lap at the place where he had bitten me. “I want to see you again on Friday,” he said, voice gruff as he kissed me, and I could taste the remnants of my blood on his tongue.

By the time I arrived back at our camp, it was still too early for the sun to be visible over the horizon. Likewise, most of my pack mates were still asleep which made it easier to sneak back to the Omega cabin. Of course, I inwardly cursed when I remembered that one of my friends was often waiting for my arrival. But Hwang Hyunjin was the pack’s night guard, and he always kept watch at the main entrance of our camp.

“You were out late last night,” Hyunjin commented, and he looked like he was expecting me to break down and tell him the truth.

“I needed a walk,” I told him smartly. “But you already knew that.”

“Yeah, but you need to be careful, Y/N,” Hyunjin said. “I’m covering your ass, but the others might notice that you smell like cum.”

I froze at his declaration, and it took everything that I had not to smell my clothes, wondering if Felix had touched something on me. However, I also knew that Hyunjin had one of the best noses in the pack, and he sometimes noticed different scents even after I spent hours washing myself in the river. But if he could smell something that risqué on me, then it meant that someone else might also detect the same scent. And I was suddenly very self-conscious, looking around at my other pack members as they passed by the two of us. “Is it bad?” I asked him.

Hyunjin nodded slowly. “When are you going to tell me who you’re meeting? Is it someone from another pack?”

“I can’t tell you,” I said. “It’s better that you don’t know.”

“Well, I hope that Mark doesn’t say anything on your mating night,” Hyunjin said. “I think he’ll probably notice that you aren’t a virgin anymore.”

There was a warning in his tone that I chose to ignore. Because I couldn’t think about those repercussions. Thankfully, Hyunjin was a very close friend, and he would never reveal my secrets to our alpha who might feel so inclined to dismiss me from the pack if he discovered my impurity. Of course, thinking about my mating night with Mark always managed to ruin my good mood, and I sighed as I leaned back against the wall of the Omega cabin. “I hate that my father chose him.”

Hyunjin shrugged. “He tried to put it off, but I think it’s nice that you and Mark are friends.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, glancing over Hyunjin’s shoulder to locate the younger as he laughed with some of our pack elders.

“To be honest,” Hyunjin said. “He smells a lot like rut these days.”

I shivered. “How long?”

“Maybe another week or so,” Hyunjin informed me. “You know that our alpha will want to move forward with the ceremony as soon as Mark finishes his first rut.”

I shook my head at the situation. “It’s not fair to either of us.”

“Why?” Hyunjin asked. “You were fine with it when your father made the arrangement.”

“Feelings change,” I said.

“Or, it’s because you like this mysterious wolf that you’re meeting in the middle of the night,” Hyunjin said. “Maybe next time I should stop you.”

“Please don’t do that,” I said. “I want to enjoy my time with him while I can.”

“Well, I hope you're being serious,” Hyunjin said. “Once you’re officially mated to Mark, you can’t sneak out of camp anymore.”

“I got it,” I snapped at him, even if I knew that it wasn’t his fault. After all, he was only telling me the truth that I needed to hear, but it still didn't make it any easier to accept.

“Well,” Hyunjin huffed. “Since you’re in such a jovial mood, I’ll tell you about the guests that we’re expecting today.”

“Guests? Inside the camp?”

“Vampires,” Hyunjin said with a grin. “The Coven from the mountains.”

“I thought our alpha hated them.”

“It was Chan’s idea to meet,” Hyunjin said, referring to our alpha’s son and the next alpha-in-command. “He wants to establish some diplomatic ties with their young prince.”

“Really? That’s unexpected.”

“I think so too,” Hyunjin said. “And the idea of having so many bloodsuckers in the camp sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.”

“Both sides are probably uncomfortable,” I said, defending the vampires when my younger self would’ve never hesitated to curse their existence.

But feelings change.

“When did you get so wise, Y/N?” Hyunjin asked with a playful smile. “I’d say it’s because you make smart decisions, but you wouldn’t be sneaking out of the camp every other night.”

“Ha-Ha,” I replied, but a better rebuttal would have to wait because I noticed that Adam, one of Chan’s youngest friends, was walking in our direction. “Don’t you two have other responsibilities besides gossiping?” Adam grumbled.

“I haven’t received my assignment yet,” I said.

“Jisung’s leading a border patrol this afternoon,” Adam informed me with a sarcastic huff. “Knock yourself out.”

“Gee, thanks,” I retorted with a roll of my eyes. Adam had always acted dismissive towards me, ever since he asked for my father’s permission to mate with me and I sternly turned him down. It didn’t help that he confronted me later on about it, informing me bluntly that I was missing out because he had a gigantic knot and would fill me up so well with his pups.

And Hyunjin smirked at the tension between us. “I’ll join that patrol,” he said, tossing an arm around my shoulders before leading me away. “You’d think that Adam would move on already,” he said. “I guess you bruised his ego when you chose an inexperienced pup over him.”

“I didn’t choose anyone,” I grumbled.

Except for Felix.

But neither Adam nor Hyunjin needed to know about him. In fact, I had every intention of keeping my first lover a complete secret, and I planned to carry it with me for the rest of my life.

Later on, I found Jisung waiting at the main camp entrance, attempting to count the gathered heads of his pack mates. Despite his position, Jisung was actually rather inept when it came to leading patrols, and usually someone else had to take over for him. However, it was still endearing to see him try so hard for the rest of us, so I never complained. Plus, Jisung was lenient when everyone started to complain that the western border line was too long to navigate, which meant that we often ignored the swampland and the sticky mud that coated my fur.

“Let’s go,” Jisung said, taking command as he shifted into his wolf form, waiting for the rest of us to do the same thing before we took off for the woods. I nipped playfully at Hyunjin’s shoulder while we remained at the back of the patrol, enjoying the feeling of the sunlight warming my pelt. There was always an undeniable sense of belonging whenever I found myself on four legs instead of two - moving through the thick underbrush of the forest with eyes wide open.

Eventually, our patrol tapered off to a brisk walk, and Hyunjin leaned in closer, using the pack’s established mind-link to speak to me. “You seriously aren't gonna spill about your mystery man?”

I turned to glare at him as best I could while functioning as a wolf. “It’s none of your business.”

“I’m the one who protects you,” Hyunjin returned, baring his teeth in an intimidating manner. “I thought we were friends.”

“Trust me,” I said, lowering my head somewhat submissively to appease him. “You don’t want to know.”

Hyunjin considered me for a moment, and the brown eyes of his wolf matched the same color of the man who shared the same consciousness. However, before he could say anything else, Jisung approached us both with a sharp growl. “Stop messing around,” he said. “You should be checking the caves.”

Hyunjin nudged me with his head, encouraging me to start in that direction. “Don’t think that this conversation is over,” he said, rumbling low in his chest. “We’ve never hidden secrets from each other, Y/N. It makes me think that you’re hiding something bad.”

I bristled at his claim, following him on unsteady paws as we navigated to the caverns overlooking the ocean. They marked the edge of our western border, and usually posed no threat to surrounding packs. In fact, most wolves disregarded the uncomfortable caverns, which made our job easier after a thorough inspection with no sign or smell of foreign intrusion.

It was also starting to grow late in the afternoon, and we had ventured far from our campsite. Jisung released a summoning howl to bring our patrol back together, and he ensured that everyone had detailed their report before announcing our abrupt return. “Don’t forget that we’re expecting visitors tonight,” Jisung said. “It’s a peaceful meeting, so let’s not make trouble.”

“I don’t get why we’re trying to play nice with the vampires,” Hyunjin said with a resentful tone, and I knew that I had made the right decision by keeping my encounters with Felix a secret from him.

Of course, upon our return to the camp, I could tell that the vampire representatives had already arrived because there was a noticeable amount of wolves patrolling the entrance with evident tension reflecting in their gazes. Jisung bowed politely in their direction as we re-entered the camp, and I quickly discovered that my pack mates were lingering outside of Chan’s cabin where he always conducted his diplomatic affairs.

Most of us had already shifted back, and as if on cue, the door opened and Chan stepped outside with a strikingly familiar face that had me pausing in my steps. “Hey!” Hyunjin protested when he ran into my back. “Don’t just stop like that.”

But I made no attempt to move from my position, and his words had barely registered over the panic seeping into every inch of my body. Because the vampire standing next to Chan was none other than Felix - the very same man who frequently met me in our private alcove at the river. However, it was surreal to see him here in camp as my worlds literally collided together, but it wasn’t nearly as startling as the realization that the vampire who I had trusted was certainly no rogue. “That’s Prince Felix,” Jisung informed me.

“Prince?” I repeated, feeling a cold dread holding me hostage.

Felix's eyes met mine at the same time when I realized that the mysterious stranger who I met at late hours of the night was the vampire prince of the coven that my pack loathed. Felix noticed me immediately, but his composure never faltered with the exception of one brow raising suggestively. He wasn’t listening to Chan, looking at me with the same eyes that I often saw from the space between my thighs.

I shook my head when I couldn’t stand it anymore, and I quietly dismissed myself from my patrol who were all quietly observing the vampire prince. “Nice going, Y/N,” I muttered to myself as I retreated into the Omega cabin. “Shit, this is bad.”

On the one hand, I felt anxious about the knowledge that the vampire I had been meeting in secrecy was running around my camp. But, on the other hand, I also felt sick to my stomach because Felix had lied to me about his rogue status. It was even worse since he was the prince of the vampire coven that my pack alpha despised - the same one that Chan was trying to improve our relations. Everything could be easily undone if the pack knew that I was literally screwing around with Felix. Not only would it ruin our attempts to communicate peacefully, but my alpha would order my banishment from the pack if he discovered that I broke my chastity vow and gave myself to someone other than my predetermined mate.

“Y/N?”

I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of Hyunjin’s voice. “What are you doing?” I gasped. “This is the Omega cabin.”

“I was worried,” Hyunjin said. “You looked like you were afraid of something.”

I found it difficult to meet his gaze, but I still forced myself to look in his direction. Because it was time to tell him the truth and alleviate the burden that continued to weigh heavily on my subconscious. “The vampire prince,” I whispered, watching Hyunjin lean in closer to hear me speak. “I’ve been seeing him.”

“What?

I sighed at his evident confusion. “My mystery man is the vampire prince!”

My tone was sharp, but I was incredibly agitated, especially as I anxiously awaited Hyunjin’s reaction. I knew that he would be surprised by the revelation, and I could sense the combination of his shock and annoyance reflected in his sharp inhale - eyes glowing with pure anger. “You can’t be serious, Y/N.”

I nodded, wrapping my arms securely around my middle. “I didn’t know who he was,” I said. “I mean, I knew that he was a vampire, but he told me that he was a rogue.”

“Oh, shit, this is bad,” Hyunjin said, and he immediately started pacing across the ground. “I can’t believe that you’ve been fucking a vampire! And Prince Felix? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Your support is greatly appreciated,” I snapped at him. “Look, when I met him for the first time, I had just been told that my father hitched me to one of my friends. I was angry, okay? I needed to clear my head, and I met him at the river and he just...he made me feel like I could be free while I was with him. Not tied down to a responsibility that I never wanted!”

Hyunjin narrowed his eyes. “You talk about Mark like it’s so horrible that you’d spend the rest of your life as partners.”

“But it wasn’t my choice!” I shouted, no longer concerned with whoever might overhear our conversation. “I didn’t ask for a mate, and you know that I never wanted one.”

“Fine, you’re fucking selfish, but that doesn’t explain why you’re still meeting with this...vampire! If you don’t want to be tied down or whatever, then why is he an exception?”

“Because he made me change my mind,” I said. “He showed me something that I was never allowed to have in the pack. Felix made me want him, and he taught me what life could be like when I made decisions for myself.”

“Fucking hell, Y/N,” Hyunjin growled, turning his back to me with an exaggerated sigh. “What do you want me to say?”

“You’re my best friend, Hyunjin,” I reminded him fiercely. “My entire life is hanging by a thread, and I need you to help me figure out what I’m supposed to do.”

Hyunjin’s shoulders rose and fell as he literally shook with his frustration. “I don’t know what to tell you, Y/N. I feel betrayed, and I need some time alone.”

“Hyunjin...” I tried again, reaching out for his shoulder, but he wordlessly shook me off before storming away across the camp.

Later that evening, one of my roommates approached me about a special bonfire that our pack was organizing in celebration of the vampires. I snorted at the idea because I knew that there was a risk of seeing Felix involved, but a frustrating part of myself was also desperate to see him again. Even after the revelation of his true identity. After all, I knew that it was important for us to talk about everything, especially with the potential for close relations between my pack and his coven.

Thus, I joined some of my roommates as we left the safety of the Omega cabin for the impressive bonfire at the center of our camp. It was crowded with wolves and vampires, and there was a neutral atmosphere that certainly demonstrated the potential for peace. Which made me realize that it was essential that I talk to Felix, and I continued searching the bonfire for any sign of him. I walked around the edge of the gathered assembly, and I was so intensely focused that I nearly jumped out of my skin when a cold hand reached for mine. I turned around to confront the source, but his free hand quickly closed over my mouth. “Follow me,” Felix said in the same deep voice that always managed to leave me feeling flushed from head to toe.

I whined in protest, but he gave me no other option when he practically drug me into the trees. “You’re an asshole,” I told him as a greeting. I pulled myself away from him, crossing my arms impatiently as I narrowed my eyes. “Do you think you even have a right to speak to me? After lying about who you are!”

“I’m sorry,” Felix said, but I scoffed at the feeble apology. “I’m serious, Y/N, this wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“Of course not,” I snarled. “You wanted to keep me in the dark! But how long did you plan to string me along, huh? Until I stopped showing up?”

“Y/N-”

“You told me you were a rogue,” I interrupted, slapping away his hand when he attempted to touch me. “You disregarded my feelings, and you played me for a fool! I guess you also lied when you said that you cared about me!”

“Don’t say that!” Felix hissed, and I startled at the strength of his conviction. “I know why you’re upset, and I deserve every bit of your anger. But I hope you don’t actually believe that I was just using you!.”

“What else am I supposed to believe?” I asked. “You had every opportunity to come clean!”

“If I told you the truth, then you would’ve never agreed to keep meeting me,” Felix shouted, and I tensed as I searched our surroundings. “Y/N, if you knew that I was a vampire prince, then I might've never had the chance to speak to you again, and I couldn’t stand the thought of that!”

“Yeah? Well, it doesn’t matter anymore,” I said. “You’ll never see me again after tonight.”

“Y/N! I hope you're not being serious,” Felix said, and there was a slight hint of desperation to his tone. “I was wrong, okay? But I never meant for you to find out like this!”

“I’m promised to someone in my pack,” I said, and my words sounded empty even to me. “There’s no reason to keep going.”

“You told me that you would never agree to the ceremony,” Felix said. “And I plan to make it up to you. Somehow, I’m going to earn your forgiveness.”

“Good luck with that,” I snorted, and I left him standing in the shelter of the trees before I rejoined my pack mates.

It had been several days since I confronted Felix, and I restrained myself from returning to the little alcove in the forest where we usually met for our scandalous rendezvous. I mean, life was supposed to move on, and time could heal all wounds, but maybe all of those old sayings were just bullshit! Because I missed Felix despite our last argument, and I hadn’t seen Hyunjin since he left me standing next to the Omega cabin.

I tried to confront him one morning, but he barely offered me a response before he was talking about some sort of assignment that he had to take care of before the end of the day. Of course, I knew that it was just an excuse to ignore me, but it still stung to face his rejection. I was beyond stressed, and perhaps my breakdown was inevitable when one of our pack members informed me that Mark had finally entered his first rut. “Congratulations, Y/N,” they told me, but I only felt like someone had stolen every ounce of my happiness.

I couldn’t control my actions after the announcement, and my wolf howled from somewhere deep inside of me, and I started running on four legs once I had escaped the camp borders. Consequently, I ran through the trees, dodging the overhanging branches and skillfully avoiding collisions with the surrounding foliage. Eventually, my wolf stopped at the entrance to the familiar alcove, hesitating when I realized that someone else was already sitting among the vines.

“Y/N,” his familiar voice said, beckoning me closer despite my appearance.

My wolf whined, and I quietly shifted to stand on two legs once again. “You’re here,” I said, jerking my head to the side so that he couldn’t see my tears.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he whispered to me. “I should’ve never lied to you, but I was afraid that I would lose the beautiful she-wolf who I met that night in the forest.”

“We can’t keep doing this anymore, Felix,” I said, trying to ignore the way that he was looking at me. “I feel like I’m betraying my pack.”

“By doing something that you want?” Felix asked, daring a step closer. “They should value your happiness, Y/N. If you hate the idea of mating with someone else, then they shouldn’t force you. Who’s really betraying who in this situation?”

I closed my eyes to hold back fresh tears. “My pack hates your coven.”

“My father hates your alpha,” Felix said, crowding me against one of the trees. “They have a silly blood feud that has nothing to do with the rest of us.”

“What can you do?” I asked him. “I can’t keep living like this.”

“Then I’ll make it easier on you, Y/N,” Felix said with a fierce determination.

“Felix, what are you-”

“Let me handle it,” he interrupted, quietly pulling me in for a soft kiss that I had desperately missed. “I know a way to fix everything, and you can stay with your pack.”

“How?” I asked him, gripping tight to his shirt sleeves.

“I’ve been planning this for a while,” Felix said with a playful wink. “I know it’s too much to ask, but can you trust me this one time?”

I rested my head against his solid chest, sighing at the sensation of his cold skin competing with my enhanced body heat. There were a million reasons to walk away from Felix, especially since I was feeling so confused. My entire life was something of a train wreck, and everything was changing too fast around me in such a short amount of time. However, in spite of everything, I trusted Felix with my entire heart and soul.

“Okay,” I whispered, and I allowed him to brush another reassuring kiss across my lips.

Felix told me to wait for him, but it was nearing the end of the week when my pack received an unexpected visit from the notorious Vampire King and his young son. Since our pack alpha was gone, Chan stood in his place, welcoming the vampire royals with a forced smile. “Greetings,” Chan said, glaring at a group of wolves who were whispering together in low tones.

“During our last meeting, you mentioned something quite interesting,” the Vampire King said. “I believe you called it the potential for a union between our people.”

“Yes,” Chan agreed. “I’m still searching for ideas-”

“Well, I have a suggestion,” The Vampire King interrupted. “If you’re interested in listening...”

“Of course,” Chan said, and I could tell that his tone was strained.

“In a show of allegiance,” the Vampire King growled. “My son has agreed to marry one of your...dogs.”

“Father,” Felix said, giving the elder a meaningful look.

The King sighed. “He has chosen a member of your pack.” I swallowed hard when his gaze landed on me. “Y/N.”

I froze at the utterance of my name, feeling the attention of everyone in the surrounding crowd aimed in my direction. “Y/N!” Chan repeated. “She’s promised to someone else!”

“My son has made his choice,” the Vampire King declared. “This will be the union of our people.”

The declaration was met with hostile glares and quiet murmurings throughout ,y pack members. Thankfully, Felix could detect their unease, and he quickly sought to alleviate their concerns. “While we’re married, Y/N can return to the pack as much as she wants,” Felix said, sending a soft smile in my direction. “Our marriage can act as another show of respect between our people.”

“But why is she your choice?” Chan asked, taking another step in Felix’s direction. “We have many unmated females!”

“I like her the best,” Felix said, and perhaps it might seem outrageous to these wolves and vampires who viewed us as complete strangers, but it filled my heart with an unmeasurable glee. “We spent a lot of time together during our last visit to your camp,” Felix continued. “Y/N was always very welcoming.”

“This is also nonnegotiable,” the Vampire King said, giving Chan a meaningful look.

Chan hesitated in return, turning around to look at me with sadness in his gaze. “I’ll talk to Y/N first.”

I nodded slowly, aware that I couldn’t just agree since it wasn’t a reaction that the others would anticipate. “Okay,” I said, and I followed Chan to the cabin that he shared with his roommates until he officially took over as our pack alpha.

It was quiet between us at first, and I could tell that Chan was searching for the right words. “Y/N,” Chan finally said, closing the door behind us. “You can sit down.”

I obeyed him at once, finding a chair near the fireplace and resting comfortably. “This isn’t something that I hate, you know,” I told him as a way to resolve the unusual tension. “I want to do this for our people.”

I took a deep breath as I allowed the unspoken ‘and for myself’ to remain a secret. Meanwhile, Chan shook his head as if trying to wrap his mind around the fact that I wasn’t protesting this unexpected decision. “You can be honest,” he said. “I want you to feel like you can trust me, especially when I take over the pack one day.”

“You’ll make a good leader,” I assured him. “But I’m not lying to you, Chan. This is something that I’ve already accepted.”

“What about Mark?” Chan asked. “Is that not something you want?”

I lowered my gaze to the floor. “I know what you must be thinking to yourself, but I don’t want you to feel like I’m doing this because I feel pressured. It’s quite the opposite actually.”

“But do you really like him?” Chan asked. “I mean, from the way he spoke, it sounded like the two of you had known each other for a lot longer than a few days.”

I sighed at the accurate statement, and I forced myself to meet his gaze from across the room. “What if I told you that it wasn’t? Would you tell our alpha?”

Chan paused in the middle of his pacing, searching my eyes as I returned the gesture, and he eventually allowed himself to sit down on the edge of his bed. “I won’t do that to you, Y/N,” Chan finally spoke. “I’m not an expert on love or feelings by any means, but I can tell that you like him, and that’s good enough for me.”

I felt my shoulders drop at his acceptance like the burden of his response was finally alleviated. “Thank you, Chan,” I said. “I hope that you can also see this as an opportunity for the future between us and the Vampires.”

“He seems like a good leader,” Chan acknowledged. “For that reason, we’ll commence with the ceremony.”

“You have no idea how much this means to me,” I whispered, and Chan managed a smile in my direction that told me he understood more than I realized.

On the day of my mating ceremony, I decided to walk along the shoreline of the river where I had spent so much time meeting Felix in secret. It was a beautiful day, and I felt like a real princess in my flowing white gown decorated with delicate lace and flower patterns. Although I had never once imagined myself in this place, I also couldn’t deny that everything felt like I was walking through some kind of dream with a happy ending waiting for me on the other side.

It was easy to get lost in the natural splendor surrounding me, but I still noticed the sound of the underbrush rustling from behind. I quietly turned around, smiling when I noticed Hyunjin standing there looking at me. “Hey,” I told him, holding out my hand for him.

I was relieved when Hyunjin eliminated the distance between us, taking my hand while the two of us looked out across the water. “I can’t stay mad at you, Y/N.”

I grinned at his words. “Does that mean I shouldn’t bother apologizing.”

“Now, I wouldn’t go that far...”

I finally laughed, leaning my head against his shoulder. “I’m sorry about everything, Hyunjin. I should’ve told you, but every night with Felix felt like a dream that I had to keep for myself. It’s like, if I told anyone else, then I would have to wake-up and marry Mark and pretend like I wouldn’t be miserable.”

Hyunjin nodded, processing my words with a sigh. “There’s no use staying mad over something that ended up like this. Your friendship means more than some secret affair.”

“I’m marrying the vampire prince,” I said, and it was still difficult to hear those words spoken aloud. “It’s strange how things work out sometimes.”

“Well, everyone keeps saying that this will resolve centuries of tensions with the vampires,” Hyunjin said. “I think that’s a little bold, but this isn’t a bad start. Especially if it makes you happy.”

“You’re right.” I nodded. “He does make me happy. He taught me a lot about myself, and it finally feels like I have control over my own destiny.”

“It’s almost cliche,” Hyunjin said. “How you got your happy ever after.”

I squeezed his hand. “You’ll be there too, right?”

Hyunjin chuckled, tugging me closer. “Yeah. I’ll be there for you.”

I was elated to know that we had finally reconciled, but there was still one more thing that I needed to ask him...”Do you like him?”

Hyunjin was quiet for a while, but he didn’t keep me waiting for long. “I think anyone who can make you smile like that is okay in my books.”

“Well then,” I giggled, holding tight to his hand when we started walking back to the camp. “Shall we?”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes at my theatrics, but his smile was fond as we made our way back to our camp to rejoin the gathered congregation of our pack mates and the visiting vampires. Despite the jovial occasion, there was still a hint of hostility in the air that I knew wouldn’t simply go away because of this one act of unity. Instead, it would take patience and time to resolve the conflict between our people, but I could only hope for the best.

Especially when my eyes met Felix’s as he waited for me. As usual, he was undeniably handsome - extravagant in every sense of the word. Plus, he was all mine for the rest of our lives, and I couldn’t think of a better way to spend my time than in the company of the person who I loved most in this confusing world.

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