#and when i was a teenager i think i really took that for granted. especially when it came to my health.

[nc-vb]

I was wondering why Apep's boss theme sounded so familiar, like I was having heavy nostalgia trying to figure it out, but it reminds me of something from Kingdom Hearts, which I haven't played in so, so long!! Like especially the parts that involve the flute and clarinet??

omg y'all didn't know but I used to play the clarinet in middle school and grade nine, and we had to put on a little performance once, and I played one of the OSTs from the second game ksdjfsldgslk thinking about it kinda gets me cringy BUT it's a core memory where the aftermath of the performance unfortunately made me not want to play it anymore......... it's such a shame.

#ahhhhhh i was REALLY good at playing the clarinet. and the piano. i really hate myself for giving them both up. #guitar? not so much. i hated playing the guitar. #i have a clarinet saved into my amazon wishlist so i can buy one again bc i would love to relearn it. #ahhh yknow i always say how boring and mundane my life has always been?? #at least that's what its always felt like from my perspective; i don't really change my routine and maybe that's why #BUT i have actually been blessed enough to experience SO MUCH in my life around all the bad things? #and when i was a teenager i think i really took that for granted. especially when it came to my health. #the fact that i dropped the clarinet mid-grade nine ended up being that awful culmination of the bad things i had to experience #but in hindsight i think if i continued to force myself to play it and/or the piano i would've ended up hating both of them. #my love for either won't ever go away nor will it decrease anymore (which i'm also grateful for) #and hopefully one day i WILL get back into the clarinet #but i'm grown enough now to put certain things into perspective that i can control the bad things that can happen to me or my health #so thinking about all the memories of playing that instrument when things were still good...... that's also an honour for me to hold onto. #now my favourite game has so many songs that has the clarinet in it and that really makes me so happy. #hahaha idk if this was all just random rambling but....... it made me happy to talk about and reminisce on. #:) #✦ nc vb.

[buckybarnesss]

Something that frustrates me is that Theo can full transform into a wolf and it’s never talked about. Like how is it a big enlightenment thing for the Hales and then the evil 17 year old test tube were-creature can just do it casually and he doesn’t even USE IT FOR ANYTHING

lol fucking theo.

okay.

here we go.

i can understand how this would be frustrating and yeah it kind of is but the thing about theo is that narratively he's a derek mirror.

especially for scott and stiles.

read more because i had thoughts on this subject.

for the two of them, derek has always been there. it started with the three of them and for the type of shit they dealt with on a regular basis derek being there was comforting. even when they were actively being deeply annoyed by him because derek was safe to them in so many ways that i think that like a lot of teenagers they took for granted that he'd always be around because it's derek.

than he wasn't.

and argent left too.

it's the moment where the paradigm shifts and says "you're on your own kids".

it really pulled a rug out from under the two of them.

derek's departure at the end of season 4 in smoke and mirrors was so significant but also understated. i think people really do dismiss the amount of growth that occurred in the derek and scott relationship. fandom gets so hung up on their antagonism in seasons 1 and 2 they don't look much deeper for why they were like that and sort of ignore that season 3 spends a lot of time showing them moving away from that.

stiles and derek are more difficult to parse for some. their relationship whether you ship it or not is mostly in subtext. stiles is fucking attached by season 4.

stiles fears change. it's a huge part of his season 5 and 6a arcs. it terrifies him to lose people he cares about or have his relationship with them change.

i think it's important to remember that in smoke and mirrors, derek is all but dying in front of stiles. he's bleeding out. it doesn't look good. no one knows the dumbass is gonna evolve or whatever werewolf magic he pulled out his ass. he is dying and his last words to stiles are to go save scott.

this is after a season of where derek's been messed with magically by kate, where he's been losing his werewolf powers and lydia predicted his death.

when derek's lying there bleeding out stiles hesitates. twice.

he gets more focus than peter or braeden does in this moment. the focus is derek and stiles. we get like six close up shots of stiles being deeply affected by this and by affected i mean fucked up.

sure, derek doesn't end up actually dying but he leaves with braeden. we have no idea if they've really spoken all that much in the in-between.

stiles's face as they watch derek and argent leave does not give the vibe that he has had closure.

derek being unable to give stiles a proper goodbye is a whole other post.

it's really significant that derek leaving unmoors stiles emotionally even months later and that scott recognizes it. we are shown stiles getting sentimental and gooey over the initials d.h for a reason in creatures of the night. he misses derek.

why all this background when this post is about theo? it's because derek's absence in season 5 is glaring and tangible. it's an unsaid thing that theo is able to take advantage of.

it's a compare and contrast but sort of in opposite directions for stiles and scott.

both derek and theo grew up in beacon hills but left for a period of time before returning.

derek is immediately recognized by stiles and theo is recognized by scott.

both are accused of killing their sister. derek didn't kill laura but theo did kill tara.

derek is a born werewolf who earns his full shift which is an inherited rare gift whereas theo is a chimera artificially created by the dread doctors.

derek rejects the influence of peter and duecalion whereas theo is a tool of the dread doctors.

derek's desperation in building a pack and losing them versus theo's desperation to build a pack and killing them himself using deucalion's teachings about taking power.

derek wanting to kill lydia because he thought she was the kanima versus theo wanting lydia because he wanted her knowledge and she was the key to the hellhound

scott wanting to trust theo is an obvious course correction of how he mistrusted derek in the beginning and how he misses the connection he had with derek.

scott's just desperate for something to work out.

stiles's mistrust of theo is in contrast of how he trusted derek despite scott's insistence that derek wasn't trust worthy.

it also highlights that stiles's is on edge. he cannot afford to trust someone. not again. he cannot let another person close.

which brings us to parasomnia and the benefit of a doubt conversation.

there's a lot happening with stiles and scott during season 5. there's nogitsune fall out, them growing up and the pain that comes with it but also how stiles's behavior is increasingly paranoid and irritable. it's why theo is able to take such advantage.

but i think on some level scott misunderstands that stiles never really distrusted derek the same way he did.

stiles: "yes. okay? we followed him out here. what do you want me to say? that i'm a stalker? huh? that i'm crazy? totally paranoid? none of this is new information!" scott: "now you're gonna try to at least give him the benefit of the doubt?" stiles: "i give people benefit of the doubt! i've given a lot of benefit to a lot of people." scott: "like derek? ...kira? ...liam?"

i can not post scott's face when he's about to bring up derek to stiles.

scott may not know all the details, he may not understand them but what he does understand is derek leaving has stiles fucked up and bringing him up is going to poke at sore spot. bringing up derek was his entire point. adding kira and liam weren't the important part of this segment of conversation. i don't even think stiles ever mistrusted kira prior to when she begins to lose control of her fox.

scott is trying to appeal to stiles's derek feels and stiles just ends up super mad about it.

so to me in the end, a lot of scott and stiles's whole theo issue was really about derek.

(here's how i can make everything about derek hale lol).

theo being able to shift really was only to compare him to derek lol and who knows if he can even still accomplish this after he was returned from hell. he kind of went back to factory settings. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

tl;dr season 5 theo is derek-lite.

#my blog #thoughts on teen wolf #teen wolf #theo raeken #sterek #just in case

[sekai-no-reita]

A letter to Reita... From my heart to yours.

(Under the cut for your sake.)

My dearest れいた,

I know you will not be able to read this letter, but I hope these words still reach you wherever you are; from one soul to another.

I don't even know where to begin... I never thought I would have to write a goodbye letter like this to you. This all feels like a bad dream that I cannot wake up from.

I followed you and your journey with the GazettE for 18 long years.. I grew up with you. It feels like I've lost a dear friend, a family member, if you will. There are no words to describe this grief I'm feeling. Believe me, I have tried...

You guys were with me through everything from my teenage years to this day. If I was happy, you were there. If I was sad, you were there. You were always there. I could always rely on you being by my side when I needed you.

When you came to Finland for the first time in 2007 I queued outside the venue in the cold late October weather all night long, just so I could get a good viewing spot for the gig. It was insane... I was so cold and sleep deprived on the day of the gig, only having slept for like an hour, haha. But when you guys came on stage, none of it mattered. I was so happy. It was a dream come true.

And that's when I fell in love with you, Reita. That was the turning point. I had been listening to your music for a little over a year by then but Ruki was the one who held my heart. But then you.. You captivated me the moment you stepped on that stage. Of course I had always noticed you, your basslines and talent but.. when I saw you play live, it was almost hypnotizing. Especially during RIDE WITH THE ROCKERS. I was so incredibly happy you played it that time. I still remember the way you moved your belly and hips and shoulders when you were standing in the spotlight... Being admired by everyone.

I was fortunate enough to see you guys live two more times; in 2013 and in 2016 during your world tours. Especially in 2016 when I had the VIP wristband and I got to meet you. I still remember how surreal it all felt to me. It was all like a dream. The most wonderful dream. I was supposed to tell you then how much I admired you, how talented you were. But I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. Not with you staring at me with your (one visible) eye. All I managed to do was give you the little gift bag with the bracelet in it with a shaky "douzo". You were a little surprised by the gift and thanked me "Ahh, arigatou". Then you took my hand and we thanked each other again. Now I kick myself... I should've told you exactly how I felt. Now I will never get another chance to do it. Now you will never know...

You were so incredibly kind and sweet and caring...

Writing about you in the past tense breaks my heart. The world has lost something too pure, too beautiful.

Your passion towards the GazettE was a thing to admire. How you cared for your fans.. You never took anything for granted. All the tears you shed after your tour finals.. they were real (even when you in an interview joked that they were cgi *laugh*). That was how much you cared. That was your true strength.

There will never be anyone else like you.

The world will never be the same after losing you.

Your bass defined Gazette's music in a way. Everytime I listen to any of your songs, your bass stands out. It is incredible. I don't think any other band does that; puts the bass in such a spotlight. That's how important you are, ..were.

You are the reason I even own a bass. I wanted to be able to play like you. Sadly I cannot... I was too short-tempered and lost my nerve when I couldn't get my fingers to co-operate *laugh* But my bass is still there, waiting. Reminding me of you. Maybe one day I'll be able to pick it up again and think of you with a smile on my face.

I really do hope you know how loved you were -and still are-; by everyone. The band, the fans... How much you were respected by your peers and other musicians. You defined an era in v-kei. That's how important you were. Are.

There are so many more things I would like to say to you. But maybe another time. Maybe I'll write you another letter. Maybe someday I'll meet you again in the afterlife and I'll be able to tell you face to face everything I haven't been able to so far.

I hope you are now at peace and can rest.

I love and miss you so much.

Thank you for everything you have given me. It is a debt I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you.

Rest in peace, my beautiful angel.

With all my love,

Marisa

#reita #reita the gazette #the gazette #.... #now I feel drained #that was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do.... #personal

[sarasade]

Claudia, Viren & The Very Real Parent-Child Dynamics of The Dragon Prince

Sometimes I wonder if I come across like I try to defend Claudia too much. That's not my intent at all. I just think she deserves more and better critique.

The Point I guess

Personally, I really connect with Claudia's brand of messy, unflattering and even pathetic rage and grief much more than the dignified and mature ways Callum and Ezran handle things (More on that later). Maybe this sounds unflattering but Claudia being also kind of an asshole really speaks to me. Like that's the kind of teenage girl I'm the most familiar with and we don't have enough media that has nuanced takes on this sort of troubled character. Exploring negative or even anti-social traits and impulses in fiction, especially in women, is kind of undervalued in my opinion. Those are part of humanity and therefore part of us and this impulse to completely reject them doesn't benefit anyone really.

Finally, some wholesome father-daughter relationship rep in media!

My way to view fantasy media is about how it can artistically portray something true to real life. That's why I'm the most invested in this kind of reading of the text. Fantasy media is often dismissed as mere escapism even by the fantasy fans themselves (*side eyes the dude bro Witcher fandom*) which ignores the emotional depths it can reach by approaching difficult subject matter more metaphorically.

Inject Viren & Claudia's Father-Daughter Dynamic Straight into My Veins

There is something viscerally real about Claudia and Viren's relationship. I've seen this kind of father-daughter dynamic play out in real life many times where the child gives and gives and gives yet the parent takes it all for granted until it's too late and the parent-child relationship is just a mangled corpse of its former self, way too damaged to ever be truly repaired.

Like if you've had a difficult relationship with your parents it can feel similar to how s4-5 Claudia struggles to keep Viren alive while Viren hesitates. The child is the one who tries to fix things in the relationship while the parent is in denial or completely oblivious. Viren doesn't really try to connect with Claudia further in s4-5. It almost seems like he's completely emotionally unprepared to have that conversation and oh boy if you know any boomer parents that's pretty damn realistic. He just sort of gives up and acts completely passive because he's so out of touch with his emotions.

There is also this aspect of your parent aging and then one day you realise that you, the child, are the one who has more power in the relationship. It's a universal experience. These are just some of the ways I can see Viren and Claudia's relationship in seasons 4 and 5 metaphorically portray real life parent-child dynamics. There is a lot of emotional truth to how TDP approaches these relationships even when the story itself is an over the top fantasy romp.

How much Viren relies on Claudia is revealed little by little: She got the unicorn horn for the spell that killed Avizandum, she got the dragon horn that helped them cross the lava to Xadia in s3. It's set up really subtly how there is almost this parentification of Claudia like she's the one who took her mother's place as the emotional center and caregiver of the family after Viren and Lissa divorced. It's a lot of pressure to put one a child to say the least. This extends to Soren and how he is treated as the scapegoat of the family when Claudia is the Golden Child. This sort of treatment of Claudia and Soren by Viren is probably the most common analysis of their family dynamic as far as I can tell.

You ever heard of the thing called "eldest daughter syndrome"?

Eventually Claudia's most admirable and positive traits get corrupted (insert here an analysis of the corruptive nature of the dark magic as a plot device). It's like this perversion of feminine nurturing instinct society values and enforces in girls. Claudia's love is not domesticated but something that's so all consuming it destroys everything in its way. In s 4 she insists Viren has to live. She does everything in her power to keep her family together even against the wishes of her loved ones; first it was healing Soren in and then it was bringing Viren back to life in s3. Claudia has fully internalised her role as the caregiver to the point of self-imposed victimhood.

All The Characters Have a Part to Play

Since TDP is meant for an all-age audience (And later for teens and up since they hiked up the age rating) all the younger characters Callum, Ezran, Rayla, Claudia and Soren collectively represent the kind of different and difficult feelings parental abandonment and neglect can cause. A real person most likely feels all of these emotions at some point of their life but in fiction they need to be spread out among different characters or the story wouldn't work as, well, a story.

"she was a mage girl committing warcrimes, he was an elf boy vibing in the woods, can I make it anymore obvious"

I'd gladly read some more critical takes on Claudia's character. There is something very interesting there about Claudia and Terry's relationship for example. Terry is clearly very enamored with Claudia whom he perceives as someone very vulnerable and in need of help. Terry isn't wrong exactly but it does get problematic when he goes to great lengths to protect Claudia to the detriment of his own wellbeing. While TDP itself doesn't draw attention to it there are also the racial and gendered elements, both implicit and explicit, because of Claudia's fantasy racism and because of Terry being a non-white trans boy character as well. Claudia is the most powerful dark mage in Xadia when Terry is just a normal guy. Given the context of the show there is a power imbalance there.

tHÖ END

Why I'm laying this all out is that I think the Internet would be a better place if people didn't try to constantly find an objective "right" way to view a piece of media but instead were somewhat transparent about what they personally got out of it. I think this Viravos meta is the most popular thing I've written so far and I tried to explain my approach in detail because I don't want people to go "look this person says Viravos is canon!". Jokes are fine of course but taking it too objectively ignores the fact that analysing subtext is valuable on its own.

Idk how to end this. Here, have this meme.

#help! I've gotten stuck in the hermeneutic circle and can't get out! #Viren & Claudia have the most interesting relationship in this show and it just keeps getting better and better #I think this is literally all that I've got to say about Claudia so far #the dragon prince meta #tdp meta #sarasade text

[bluegekk0]

Continuing with the idea from this post, not sure whether I'll actually go with it but doing some brainstorming is fun.

Bit of a long post + there are some mentions about pregnancy and all that, so keep that in mind if you find the subject icky. It's nothing explicit, mind you, but I thought I'd put that here before the cut.

So, I thought that it would be nice if the kids were twins. Totally unexpected, I imagine Grimm was quite surprised when Jiji told him that he's carrying two eggs (and perhaps a little horrified at the prospect, since he was already in a bit of a wrecked state after the last time), as he didn't consider that possibility. FPK would have a similar reaction, I imagine, a mix of surprise and concern about Grimm, though both of them would be overjoyed.

As for the babies... Since Lewk already looks a lot like FPK, I thought perhaps the two twins could share more traits with Grimm. Two horns, maybe longer snouts. Lots of fur, though no wings. Opposing color palettes maybe... Bad news for Hornet cause that would make the lighter one look A LOT like her. She is not escaping the comparisons between her and Grimm, I bet her reaction was something along the lines of Alan Grant finding out they have a T.rex in Jurassic Park hahahaha

You know, the more I think about all of this, the more I like the idea. Would it make Lewk a bit less special? Perhaps, but he would still be his fluffy dragon self, and I think that's interesting on its own. Maybe I'd even age him up a little bit, from a toddler to a young kid/awkward teenager? Though I think the other children would come pretty soon after him, I like to think it was Grimm's idea since he thought Lewk needed some playmates (and despite how exhausting it was for him the last time, he was still excited at the prospect of having more kids with FPK), so Lewk wouldn't be much older than he is now. Honestly, since he's currently about a year, maybe a year and a half old in the AU (which puts him at around 4-5 years old in human years), maybe I wouldn't even need to age him up at all. Which would be ideal cause I really like his current age design.

And I certainly wouldn't put it past Grimm and FPK to try for another child soon after Lewk was born, especially since Grimm replaced his body right after Lewk hatched, so he would be in full energy after returning home. Plus I don't think he was carrying the egg for too long in the first place, probably something around 2-3 months, which would give them plenty of time to make that decision and for him to make the necessary changes to his body in preparation. At least now he knew exactly what to do, since the first time it took a lot of trial and error to make his body fertile and for the pregnancy to even happen, though unfortunately he could not predict that this time he'd be pregnant with two eggs instead of one.

I'll see what I come up when I find some free time to brainstorm the kids' designs, I may still give up on the idea if I can't think of satisfying designs. But I really like it, and after writing the post I'm more optimistic about it than I was initially. We'll see haha

#gekko.txt #feral pk au #pregnancy mention

[yuikomorii]

I don’t know if you answered it already but I don’t remember you ever talking about Ayato’s Chaos Lineage route, so what did you think of it, if I may ask?

// My bestie really liked it but I can’t say I feel the same. It wasn’t bad, because there were some moments I truly enjoyed but it wasn’t great either. ^^”

I believe Ayato was extremely sweet and I don’t know how to feel when characters are written to act so cheesy. I do appreciate when they show their gentle side but he was literally made of sugar there and treated Yui like she was made of glass, which doesn’t sound like something Ayato would do because he is aware Yui is a strong girl. I understand that he’s caring but he was too desperate and worried for her there to the point that I didn’t get that playful teenage couple vibe for 80% of the route.

Can’t complain about the cgs, since I really love the CL ones! I just think the context behind some of them could have been better. This one is really cute but I’m sorry, the whole conversation made me cringe so much and the fact they were watched made matters worse. 😭😭

If there’s a scene that deserved a kiss then it is THIS one. The way Yui cheered Ayato up was one of the most precious things ever and I regret so much the fact they didn’t smooch or at least hug. :<

Maybe it’s just me but I feel like CL was merely made to hide or fix what happened in LE, after becoming the lowest rated DL game and getting a bunch of critics regarding the triplets’ (mainly Ayato’s) routes. Rejet most likely attempted to redeem the relationship between Ayato and his brothers in his CL route, but in my opinion, they didn’t do a great job. Something I can't stand anymore is how Rejet instills new insecurities in Ayato game by game, because it's getting really frustrating, especially since in LE and CL he starts disliking and belittling himself due to his brothers' treatment of him. They called Ayato selfish in CL despite the fact that, after regaining his memories, he put Yui on the first place and clearly stated wanting to protect everyone— On top of that, they took Ayato's idea of breaking the glass floor of the church while not allowing him to participate?? In the end, they acted like “good brothers” and granted Ayato permission to use his OWN idea but this still feels forced because that was the bare minimum. ://

I really liked the Good Ending though, since I love the scene where Ayato confronted his father and said“I decide my own fate!”; that was undoubtedly badass.

Overall, his route was kinda boring to me. It’s the most overly romantic route in DL, because there are too many cheesy and ichaicha scenes, so it might make you cringe a lot. But if you’re into romance and fluff, it’s perfect for you! :”)

#admin #(I’m feeling like a review writer JSJS) #(I guess I just have high expectations when it comes to Ayato) #(because DF Ayato is the superior main game route) #(and LP Ayato was great too as far as I recall)

[missacidburn928s-heathenhideaway]

If You Let Me (Badda Boom Universe)

Alpha!Jax Teller x Omega!POC!Reader "LuLu"

Summary:

Flashback to that time when you confessed your love during a jam session in the backyard unaware that Jax and Opie can hear you through his open window and things took a turn you weren't expecting.

Warnings:

Smut, Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Jax Teller, Accidental Voyeurism, Oral Sex, Sex, Rough Sex, Marriage, Pregnancy

Notes:

Hello Heathens, I've decided that anytime these two have a story for me to write about them, I am going to add it as a chapter to their saga. This story is heavily inspired by the song "If You Let Me" by Sinead Harnett. (A link to the song will be in the story) Happy Reading!

Banner by @cafekitsune Divider by @firefly-graphics

Your recent hook up with Jax is fresh on your mind. 

Granted, it was a week ago when he was “off again” with Tara before you found them back together just days later. It’s a semi-normal thing you've learned to deal with since you were teenagers.

You know loving him the way you do is painful, but you can't seem to help yourself. He’s had your heart since you were preteens and all those lovely hormones kicked in. His scent is the only one that has made you weak in the knees from just one hit. But you’ll only ever be his Little Moon, the girl who is dependable, always there whenever and for whatever he needs. 

Ruts included. 

You aren't fooling yourself thinking that someday he will truly be yours, your collarbone sporting his claim. So you keep yourself open to interested parties and have racked up quite the body count. But no one has hijacked your heart, or satiated your heats, like Jax has. 

Well, that’s not true. Ari came pretty close to taking the role of Alpha in your life. Just when you thought you could possibly take things further with him, he got a job offer overseas he couldn’t pass up. That’s where things ended, just over a year ago. The universe loved to torment you.

Seeing Jax a couple days ago at the clubhouse, Tara hanging all over him, was all the reminder of your place that you needed. So you're spending your day off with Diamond, out in the sunshine on your back porch. Medicating your soul with your dear friend THC.

“Girl when are you going to get over that boy? The dick must be amazing for you to keep going back knowing he isn't going to pick you. I don’t care how good he smells to you.” Your best friend protests. 

“I’m not going to bother trying to explain it to you again. My love for him isn't conditional. His scent is the one thing that always calms me. When we hook up, great, when we're just hanging out at the clubhouse, great. No matter who is there. It is what it is, D. I’m not trippin over it. So neither should you.”

“You’re telling me you dont want more?”

You let out a deep sigh. “Of course I do. But there’s nothing I can do about it. That’s how unrequited love works.”

“Alright then. If you say so. But answer me this one question.”

“Shoot.”

“How do you manage all these pent up feelings without lashing out?”

“Easy. Like this.” You take a hit off the joint and start strumming on the acoustic guitar in your lap. 

The Ganja begins to steadily course through your system, loosening your tongue and helping you purge all the pent up emotions you’ve been bottling up. Your surroundings disappear as your voice is carried on the wind to Opie’s open kitchen window, where he’s handing an exacerbated Jax a beer.

“Is it for good this time?” Op asks.

“She’s leaving again. So yeah. It’s for good.” He takes a sip of his beer. “At least for me it is. I really am getting too old for this back and forth shit.”

“I’m sure the fact she’s a beta doesn't help. Especially when you surround yourself with a certain little Omega.”

“I’ve known LuLu my whole life, man. If Gemma hasn’t run her off, Tara certainly isn’t keeping her from me.”

“Ya finally gonna do something about that, now that you're a free man?”

“What do you mean?” He pulls a cigarette out of his pack with his teeth and proceeds to light it. “We just hooked up last week.”

“I meant to make it more official than just hooking up when you need a tight place to stick your knot.”

“But she takes it so well man.” He smirks, tilting his head as a sound catches his attention. “Do you hear that music?”

“Probably Lulu out in her backyard.” Op supplies. “Must be high too, for her voice to carry this clearly.”

He gets up from the table and heads to the open window that has a perfect view of your backyard. There he finds you, sitting on the porch with Diamond. Your eyes are closed, fingers strumming along your beloved acoustic, emotion clear on your beautiful face as he soaks in the words you're serenading.

“I wonder who she’s singing about.” He thinks aloud.

“You can not be that dense man.” Op chuckles out.

“What are you talking about?” His eyes never leave your backyard.

Opie shakes his head. “I’m sure it’ll come to you. If not, just go over and ask her.”

Your mouth watering scent, along with your sweet voice, wafts in through the window. He can’t help but feel a pull towards you as he takes a deep inhale, allowing your last notes to sink in. He carefully watches as you look at Diamond, a smile that doesn't quite reach your eyes gracing your face.

“Damn girl, you’ve got it bad. You weren’t kidding about it being unconditional. Jax is one lucky son of a bitch and he doesn't even realize it.” Diamond declares through a plume of smoke.

“Like I said before. It is what it is. Just because he checks all my mate boxes, doesn't mean I check all of his.” You swallow, placing the guitar next to you and taking back the joint offered to you. “I can’t wait around for life to find a way. So, I enjoy what I am given.”

“You’re too damn precious for this world girl. Fuck I wish I had just a sliver of your patience and self resolve.”

“Oh, no. I’m still a petty bitch. Don’t get it twisted. I hate the fact that he chooses her over me. I just don’t see the sense in wasting energy on it.” You take a hit. “He’s had more than a taste. Not to mention he’s a full grown Alpha. If he wants more, nothing’s stopping him but him.” You exhale, letting the smoke slowly leak out of your mouth and into the air.

“Is that right, Little Moon?” You turn towards the voice of the Alpha in question as he walks up your porch steps.

Unafraid of the truths you now know he just heard you hold your head high. “Sure is. But it’s of no matter at the moment is it? You belong to someone else.”

“She ended it today actually.” He confesses. “She leaves for Seattle tomorrow morning.”

“She never really could stand Charming for long. Always chasing something better.” You relay.

“I have to agree with you there. But it at least frees me up again.” He gives you that devilish smile.

“You could have been free at any time, Jackson. You chose to embrace your gilded cage.” You coolly state.

“Shiiiit, Mary Jane’s got you extra poetic in your pettiness today. I love it!” Diamond laughs out.

“Aw come on Darlin’. Here I was, having heard your little concert, thinking maybe I’d find you being all soft and sweet.” He play pouts.

“I’m not in the mood for your games or to ruin my high Jackson. So please, just say what you have to say.”

“You sure about that Omega? Even with Diamond present.” He nods towards your bestie.

You narrow your eyes in his direction. “I have nothing to hide from her. I’m waiting.”

“Alright.” He crosses the deck, cups your face in his ringed hands and pulls you up to his face, laying a devastating kiss to your lips. Your synapses go haywire as his strong scent envelops you, allowing a whimper to escape your throat. His hands glide down to your waist, where he lifts you up so that he can switch positions with you.

Your thighs are now splayed across his denim covered lap, loose shirt raised to your waist, exposing the tiny shorts you were wearing underneath as he leans back into your former seat. He breaks the kiss, a smug look on his face as he looks up into your glazed over eyes. “That’s better.”

He runs his thumb along your bottom lip. “Diamond, I’m going to need you to give me and my Omega some space. Op’s next door if you don't want to go home. Choice is yours.”

“Your Omega.” You whisper, in confusion.

“You heard me correctly.” His eyes remain on you.

“Oooooh bitch, Imma bounce. Even though it looks like this is gonna be good.” Diamond grabs her bag. “I expect a full report first chance you get. Which by the look on his face isn't going to be til at least tomorrow. Love ya girl. Bye.” She scurries off.

“Bye.” You wave to her, your eyes never leaving the Alpha below you.

“You and I have some things we need to work out. Are you up for it Little Moon?”

“Does this have something to do with you overhearing me singing?”

“That’s part of it.”

You sigh. “Okay. Give me your worst.”

He grabs the waistband of your shorts, snapping them against your skin. "First I need these off of you. We're gonna have this talk with you warming my cock so you understand just how serious I am." 

With a determined look and slick quickly dampening the crotch of your shorts, you stand up on shaky legs. With an initial push down over your ass, you shimmy them the rest of the way before taking a step out and kicking them off to the side.

His eyes devour your bare lower half, biting his lip as he runs a palm along the bulge in his jeans. “Mmm. Good girl. You really would do anything for me huh?” He hits you with his dazzling smile, the one that always has you weak in the knees. “Come here and unzip me, Omega. I want you to pull me out and sit on the evidence of what your scent does to me, darlin’.”

You can feel your slick beginning to slowly leak down onto your thighs, perfuming the air further with your scent. You squeeze them together before stepping forward and doing as your Alpha requested. You bend over at the hip, ghosting your fingers down his torso until you reach the tented denim, releasing his hard length to the light of day. With a quick squeeze to his base, you straddle his lap and slowly lower yourself down onto his thick cock, letting it fill you up inch by inch. 

He grabs your chin, forcing you to look at the possessiveness and lust swirling in his Cobalt blues. Drawing in a deep breath, your lids become heavy, you can’t help but lose yourself in how good his mouth watering scent mixes with your own sweet essence. As you reopen your eyes, he places a soft kiss on your lips, sliding his hand down to wrap around your throat. "Now be a good little Omega for me and pay attention to what I have to tell you."

You nod your agreement. Your tongue, incapable of forming words at the moment.

“I was next door at Op’s, shooting the shit in the kitchen. Downloading him on all this Tara business. When this music drifts in through the window that faces your backyard.” He pushes his thumb under your chin. “Imagine my surprise when Op tells me it’s probably just you playing around out back.”

You swallow against his fingers. “You heard me.”

“Oh yes, Little Moon. I heard every sweet and tortured word you sang.” He smirks at you. “At first I thought you were just singing to sing. Though the words did sound a bit like a confession. It wasn’t until you finished and Diamond got to chatting that I connected the dots. All those precious words were about me.”

"Yes." You whisper out.

"And here I was, getting called out by Op right before the universe comes and drops a neon sign pointed in your direction." He licks his parched lips. "I originally came over here to tease you about getting high and serenading the neighborhood.” He chuckles to himself. “After hearing you say it wasn’t worth the energy to wait around for me and then still called me out on it when I showed up. Well, darlin' I knew I had to rectify that."

"So that's what this little show of Dominance is all about then? Witnessing the power you as a whole have over me?” You give him a challenging look.

“Not at all.” Unbothered by your accusing tone, he caresses your neck, fingers dipping down until they ghost along your collarbone. “This is all to make it clear where I stand. I heard you loud and clear, Omega. No more dancing around it. I’m taking what’s rightfully mine.” He growls out.

You involuntarily clench around the girth settled deep inside of you as his words register, making him practically purr at the feeling.

“Fuck it. Move your hips Omega. I need you to continue being a good girl and let me watch you ride your Alpha.” 

Your eyes alight at his command. You swivel your hips, slowly grinding against him in a figure eight pattern, losing yourself in how full you feel, walls gripping on to his thickness.  

You raise up and start to bounce on his lap, his hand returning to your throat, giving it a gentle squeeze. The sweet pressure, muffling your moans. "That's it. You look fucking gorgeous when you ride me. Your tight little cunt was made for taking my knot. And you’re going to let me stuff you full of it aren't you."

You can feel the stirrings of an epic orgasm on the horizon. He removes his hand from your throat, gliding his fingers down your torso to start rubbing your clit in tight little circles. You gasp out, head tilting back, hands gripping tightly to his shoulders. You’re right on the knife's edge, rapidly hurtling towards your own climax. 

"Fuuuuck, baby you're so close. I can feel your sweet little pussy trying to make me pop my knot. Gonna cum all over my fat cock, Omega?" You moan out, head bobbing, lost in a haze of lust. "I can’t hear you, ‘mega. Use your words baby. Do. You. Want. To. Cum. On. My. Cock?"

"YES! Please, Alpha. Please. I want to cum all over your cock, make a mess just for you." You beg, uncaring of who might hear you.

A low growl vibrates through his chest. "There's my sexy little Omega. Begging so pretty for her Alpha." His fingers, dancing along your clit, quicken, causing the grind of your hips to increase. 

"Now!” He grits out with a strong thrust of his hips up into you. “Cum for me right now, Omega. Want to feel this tight cunt of yours clamping down on my dick like a vice." 

His command was all you needed to let go and fall head first into a mind numbing orgasm. You rest your forehead against his, as you let out a deep guttural moan. Nails digging into his shoulders as you writhe and squirm in his lap, riding each wave of ecstasy.

He pulls you in closer, kissing you to muffle your screams. You do have some pretty nosy neighbors afterall. His tongue dances with yours, setting you off once again. Or did you ever stop? Honestly who cares at this point. You find yourself chasing his lips as he breaks the kiss.

"Such a perfect Omega. Cumming so hard for her Alpha. Gonna let me fill ya up, baby? Cum so deep you'll be feeling me leaking out of you for days?" 

You whine at the images his words create. "Yes. Please. I want you to fill me up so badly, Alpha. Need your knot." You plead with a twist of your hips. 

Gripping your waist, he pumps up into you at an erratic pace. “Fuck baby, I’m right there.” 

You grab his face, leaning down to smash your lips against his. Your tongues fight for dominance as he groans out, knot popping as he thrusts in deep, locking you together as he paints your womb white with his seed. Your velvety walls, milking every last drop he has to give you. 

You find yourself smiling, as you hum your pleasure at being filled, against his lips. He pulls back slightly, trailing kisses down your neck, until they rest against your collarbone. Running his teeth along your skin, lips latching on and breaking various blood vessels with his suction. Leaving behind his temporary claim. 

“Couldn’t help myself. Had to leave my mark somehow, darlin’.” He kisses the darkened, tender flesh. “When my teeth do finally sink in. Breaking your skin for the first time. You are going to be lying blissed out beneath me in bed, with my knot deep inside you. Not riding me in the backyard.”

“Don’t keep me waiting too long this time, Jackson.” You tease.

After you both caught your breath and cleaned yourselves up, you decide to enjoy the rest of your day off together. Smoking a fresh rolled joint, enjoying some great takeout, and watching movies until you fall asleep cuddled together on the couch. 

Both of you awakened once the sun broke through the curtains and into your eyes. This has never happened before. One of you always leaves before the other wakes up. You have to admit it feels right waking up wrapped in his arms.

“So, Little Moon. How do pancakes sound?”  

Damn why does his voice have to be all deep and husky first thing in the morning.

You shake out the naughty thoughts running through your mind. There’ll be time for that later. “That sounds great to me as long as you can get Opie to make them instead of me.”

“It’s the least he can do after the free show I’m sure we gave him.”

#poc reader #jax teller x reader #jax teller smut #alpha jax teller

[ayaspen]

Is “Across The Spider-Verse” a great sequel ? Yes.

One thing to know about me, is that I’ve always been a spider-man girlie, granted I wasn’t even born when the Raimi’s trilogy dropped, and it took me twelve years after to discover that Spider-Man was not actually blonde (my younger brain always thought he was for some reason) but there’s no denying that Spider-Man has always been a pop culture symbol, even if you don’t know his story, there’s no way you haven’t heard or seen pictures of the masked vigilante who swings around the city with his webs.

And although there were different interpretations to his story, he was always the ordinary kid in Queens (or in our case Brooklyn) who’s got too much power in his hands and is struggling what to do with it, to later become the masked vigilante who saves people and understands the responsibility he have toward his people.

When Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse dropped in 2018, people had mixed reviews on the subject, (and I was a middle schooler who stumbled upon the trailer by accident but was intrigued nonetheless) I think people were afraid that this was going to end up not meeting their expectations, and boy did it exceed them!

The movie did very well (and for good reasons!), and managed to re-introduce the story of The Spider-Man with a twist, in this case introducing the Spider-Verse, and everyone went nuts about it, from the music to the animation to the well-crafted story. The movie was one of the best movies of that year, if not of all times.

But what happens when that movie has a sequel ?  4 years later and with a very enthusiastic fan-base ? Will it be a disappointment or another win ? 

Today, I’m ready to say that Across The Spider-Verse is as good if not better than the original, and here’s why…

Hello and welcome to Butterfly Scribbles, I am the Butterfly in question, and today we’re going to cross the multiverse…I mean the Spider-Verse, my bad!

So ladies and gentlemen, let’s do this again one last time!

(This review may contain spoilers for the movie, so If you haven’t seen it, I highly encourage you to do so, and then read my review after, have a nice time!)

PLOT:

Miles Morales, is very much accustomed to being “Brooklyn’s one and only Spider-Man”, he loves his job, but him leading a double life starts to interfere with his life as Miles and his relationship with his family (and his grades), which leads to him feeling the loneliness this job imposes and starts terribly missing his spider friends.

After that he gets a visit from his best friend Gwen, and learns that there’s a whole universe full of Spider-people teaming up to protect his very existence which leads to a great conflict and a “Spider-hunt” to stop him from going to change his fate and protect the people he loves most in his life, all while redefining his story and doing what he thinks is his role as a hero.

I think the plot of the movie does a really great job of solidifying Miles as his own hero, he is constantly put into situations that tests his morals and beliefs of what he thinks he is doing right, while everyone is treating him like some ignorant teenager, there’s even a great scene where miles stand up for himself and says: “Everyone keeps telling me how my own story is supposed to go, Nah, Imma do my own thing” which is nothing if not great character development.

The twists at the end of the movie are also sure to leave you feeling blown away!

Characters:

Miles:

Like I said before, this movie gives the best arcs to its main hero, Miles goes through a journey of self discovery and finding himself all while struggling with the distance he creates with his family, especially his mom whom he keeps lying to, and her trying to understand what is going on with her son, to the point where she’s scared of him moving away from her.

Miles also feels like an outcast even with his peers, when he discovers the Spider-Verse, Gwen and Peter are against him joining the team for his safety, Miles then feels pressured to prove himself in order to gain respect and inclusion, which does not end up really well.

In the end, he chooses to do it his way, and decides to have fate in his powers and do what perceives to be the right thing, and save people when he has the chance to do so, even if it means having to deal with bigger consequences.

Gwen:

Gwen was one of the fan favorites after the release of the first movie, but the sequel gives more depth to her character, and expands upon her struggles, how she lost her best friend, peter parker, how he looked up to her and wanted to be “special” like she is, also justifying her choice to not be involved in friendships anymore.

Gwen also has an ongoing conflict with her dad, the captain of the city, who hates Spider-Woman and is leading a manhunt against her, blaming her for the murder of Peter, and how that creates a conflict with her father as Gwen, which leads to a confrontation and an identity reveal.

I think it was very smart to include Gwen as one of the protagonists of the movie for obvious reasons, now we know more about her, we sympathize with her as a heroine, and its show 

the similarities her and Miles are experiencing, establishing her role to be more than a love interest and I’m all here for it!

Other characters: 

I think the highlight of this movies is the hundreds of Spider-people we see, each with their own personality, costumes and very funny cameos too! 

My favorites have to be Spider Girl (Peter’s baby), Spider-Woman, Pavitr and Spider-Punk!

Animation and Music:

I think it’s necessary to have a whole section on this review dedicated to praise the animators and the song mixers for this movie, and It’s safe to say that without these two, the magic of the film wouldn’t be the same, I mean just imagine if It wasn’t an animated movie! and If it didn’t have such great singles like “What’s Up Danger”! 

truly a tragedy.

The animation for this movie specifically was really amazing, they combined multiple coloring styles to create the personality of each story like Gwen’s watercolor world in the start of the movie, the battle scenes are epic especially in the Spider hunt scenes with Miles and Miguel.

For the Score of the movie, I personally like the last track “Across The Spider-Verse (Start a Band)” track,I think the music really fits the last and best moments of the movie!

In conclusion, and If you haven’t got it yet, I’m In LOVE with this movie! (I mean, why else would I write a whole essay about it right ?) It’s the perfect sequel to a perfect first, and I’m convinced it’s the best movie of the year and one of the best superhero movies ever !

So if you haven’t watched it yet, I highly encourage you to do so, because It is a great watch even for people who know nothing about Spider-Man.

If you did, well let me know in the comments so we can talk about it even more, cause I’m not even close to being done with it yet!

#spider-man: across the spider-verse #gwen stacy #spider-man #spiderman #ghost spider #pavtir prabhakar #miguel o'hara #miles morales #into the spider verse #sequel #review #blog #movies #anticipated releases #great movie #spider-woman #spider-verse #سبايدرمان #x reader #spiderman x reader

[mahoutoons]

i really do not get all the hatred sonamy fans get in the sonic fandom.

"but they're so toxic!!"

so are all other ship fandoms. i've had experience with toxic shippers of other ships. but you won’t see me generalizing the ship's fandom over them. every ship has its fair share of toxic fans. so why is it that only sonamy fans get all the heat for being toxic? i'm not denying that there are bad eggs in our fandom but i don't think its fair yo act like we're a special breed of toxic. i've seen fans of other ships with r*pe on amy yet people don't use them to generalize the whole ship's fandom.

"they think their ship is canon!!"

in the 2000s-2010s, maybe we did have a lot of fans who thoight that way. but nowadays whenever sonamy fans claim its canon, its always done in a joking way. its what fans lf literally every other ship do. i've seen people jokingly say "x ship is canon" because character a looked at character b funny. but no one ever attacks them for it. so why is it that only we get attacked when a lot of the time we aren't even serious?? we KNOW our ship will never actually be canon. we KNOW sega has no intention of changing their dynamic as of now. we're just having fun with the moments we're given. especially in recent media. why do y'all froth at the mouth over that. don't like it? just ignore and block.

and to be honest? as sonamy is now, it can be considered semi canon. like, give me a platonic explanation of the "amy, i should've made up my mind sooner" line in frontiers. IF sega decides to make them a couple, their dynamic still won't change. it'll still be very subtle except they're actually a couple now and you won't even notice it. and even then no one's stopping you from liking other ships. and if they are, well the block button exists for a reason.

"but the fanfics-"

i have my beef with old sonamy fanfics. but i have a feeling the people who made them were young kids and teenagers. i'll bet a lot of them have grown up now and have better things to do in life. now i hardly see any sonamy fanfic that villainizes sally or makes sonic an asshole for the sake of angst. the more extreme shippers from the 2000s-early 2010s should not be used to judge shippers today.

imagine if i used the sonadow shippers i encountered in 2014 deviantart, who were mostly allocishet girls who shipped them because they fetishized gay men, made both of them extremely ooc (anyone remember the terms seme and uke?), and of course hated amy for getting in the way of their ship, to judge the sonadow shippers of today who are now mostly mellow and enjoy their ship in peace, it wouldn't be fair now would it?

"the age gap is problematic!!"

most of the ages in sonic make no sense! there's a line in sonic forces where infinite claims sonic has defeated eggman for decades, and sonic's only supposed to be 15. granted using sonic forces may not be the best example but it shows how little sega cares about the ages. and now they've even been renoved from sonic channel. AND even ian flynn himself has said not to worry about pairings like sonamy and knuxouge because there's nothing wrong with them.

and i KNOW people are gonna take this to mean "so shipping things like s0nt@ils is okay now??" no, because tails is still coded as a little kid. sonic and most of the cast are coded as teenagers.

there's people who ship tails and fiona, and that's an actual toxic ship with an actual problematic age gap. but they don't get half the heat that sonamy shippers get.

"sonamy is a ship for the cishets"

really now? i guess my lgbt cars has expired guys. maybe that's a good thing because i was born and raised in a country where its illegal to be lgbt and my parents are kinda religious. and even the country where i'm originally from is pretty homophobic despite gay marriage being decriminalized. who knew all it took to solve those problems was to ship sonamy?? thanks guys.

do you see how stupid that logic is? a fucking ship doesn't determine your sexuality. i don't want to kiss women any less because i ship sonamy.

#sonic the hedgehog #sonamy #rebecca talks

[slavghoul]

Interview from Nieuwe Revu #22/2022

It is twelve o'clock when Tobias Forge enters a small, concrete room at Forest National. He looks a little younger than 41, wears a black leather jacket over his Sepultura shirt and bracelets on his wrist. For a singer who has been on tour for months now and will be touring for months to come, he looks remarkably fresh.

Still, it's a strange tour, he says immediately, especially the American start of it. 'Once upon a time, when this tour was booked, it all seemed normal. But because in the United States we play in arenas where sporting events are also held, our adjusted tour schedule suddenly depended on hockey. And handball. And monster trucks. And everything you can do on ice these days. So our tour ended up looking like Stevie Wonder had planned it. But when we did play somewhere, often in a venue where many of the other bands had cancelled after all, we were often the first live band that people had seen in two years. Also now that we are in Europe. The enthusiasm that this arouses in people is really great. Despite the war, it feels like a new spring and like a time when everything is coming back to life. At the same time, I am aware that for some people it is very scary to suddenly stand in a crowd again. And I also realise that people don't just buy a ticket for a show because they have fifteen tickets left in their drawer for shows they still have to catch up on. So I'm very happy to play for the people who are now ready to be entertained.'

What struck me in Rotterdam was the enormous diversity of the audience. Especially in a time when everyone can live in their own bubble, Ghost attracts a colourful mix of old rockers, young ghotics, teenagers to fifties, from very alternative to pretty mainstream. How did you manage that?

I really don't know. When we just had our first record out and started touring, that was one of the first things I noticed, especially in the States. In Europe it took a bit longer, because here we first played on metal festivals, so logically we were mainly in front of metal audiences. But once we played our own shows, I thought: wow, did those indie chicks here come along with those guys, or the other way around? Sometimes it seemed like there were two different bands booked that night. We were quite a hyped band in our early years, so I thought: maybe that's why, and some of all these different people are here now more or less by accident. But it didn't diminish, on the contrary, the mix became broader and broader and exactly as you describe: a big collection of all kinds of very different people from different cultures and subcultures. I think that's one of the nicest features of our audience, and it keeps surprising me in a positive way. I know that finding an audience for your music in the first place is something you can never take for granted. If you're lucky, that audience will follow you for a while, and if you're really very lucky, you manage to build up something with a part of that audience for a long time, and you have to accept that that part will always be the same. I mean, if you go to a Backstreet Boys concert now, or a New Kids On The Block concert, there are 18,000 chicks screaming, but they are the same 18,000 as in 1990. Which is fantastic, don't get me wrong, but also implies that the highest achievable thing is if you can more or less conserve that following. So I am very, very happy with the diversity of our audience.

And then something else struck me. I don't know any band, maybe only Maiden, Metallica and Kiss, where so many people come into the room and buy a shirt first, even though they already have a shirt of your band. That a band is not only music, but also a logo, a design, an identity to convey: how quickly did you realise that?

Don't forget that I am first and foremost a fan. Of a lot of bands and a lot of elements of those bands. I was born in 1981, so grew up in the 80s, with a brother who was thirteen years older. And then my mother was also very liberal and a huge culture buff. When I was a kid, she already said: "Oh, you want to see Scarface, and Betty Blue? Just keep in mind that there are some realistic scenes in there." So I grew up with a lot of music, a lot of pop culture, a lot of film. But the thing that excited me the most was extreme metal. My brother was a punk, but had many different kinds of music, and taught me the roots of metal. From my teens on I wanted to play that music: death and black metal. That's how I started my band Repugnant in 1998.

That band is still distinguished for their old school death metal sound. It seems like quite a step from that sound to that of Ghost.

That metal sound certainly had its limits, and I started experimenting with writing pop songs alongside it. For a while I was a bit lost in a musical sense, I didn't know exactly which direction I wanted to go in. It wasn't until I was in my late twenties that I started writing songs that intuitively sounded a lot more interesting, because they were a mix of that pop, the harmonies from all sorts of genres, and everything that I loved about dark, hard music. The songs I worked on between 2006 and 2010 were good, I could tell that right away, but I had no idea about their commercial potential. Those songs became Ghost's first record, and my idea was: there's definitely an audience for this. But a limited, defined audience. A show at the Roadburn Festival, that's what I was hoping for. And then to come back six months later to a theatre in Amsterdam and turn it into some kind of art installation that you could put on every now and then. But when the first Ghost record came out and one opportunity after another came my way, I knew: no, I'm not going to be some kind of John Frusciante in a pop rock band. But because Ghost is so deeply rooted in everything I listened to growing up, I always come up with the concept intuitively: it's a mix of everything that I personally like. I think that's true for our fans as well, just as many of them have some shared interests. I think a lot of our fans are record collectors, like comics, and like horror.'

In the early years, the visual aspect of Ghost included something that has now disappeared: the mystery. Nobody knew who you were. Now they do. That doesn't seem to have made any difference in the perception of Ghost. Did that surprise you?

Mostly relieved, actually. Look, it wasn't like I was totally unknown and overnight everyone knew who I was. And I've always known that all the work that went into making Ghost, well, not an instant household name, but at least a name you've seen come along with when you're into music, that all that work wasn't about me personally. It was never my intention to become as famous as Ghost, or Papa Emeritus. The young version of myself, yes, he wanted to be famous and recognised on the street, but also mainly because he thought that was the way to get the attention of nice girls. But I really like the way that I can more or less step in and out of that fame now and just be myself undisturbed. When Ricky Gervais walks into a bar, everyone knows he's this funny guy and expects him to demonstrate. In my neighbourhood in Stockholm, there are a lot of people who are often on television or in films and series, they are really famous. Everyone knows who they are and what they do. When I walk down the street in Stockholm, I sometimes meet someone who looks back and makes the horns with his finger. At home, I'm just a married guy with two kids. With a wheelie recycling bin. And there is a huge gap between the stage and home, and I am very happy with that.

You certainly don't ignore your influences on your new album: you can fill an evening with guessing direct inspirations from other songs. In hip-hop, this is done with samples and is considered an homage. In rock, often as copying.

It's funny you should say that, because my son has recently become very interested in old hip-hop. I like that too, while I often find newer hip-hop depressing. The music I listened to in the 80s and 90s was often uplifting, even if it was about heavier subjects. Anyway, what I like about older hip-hop, apart from the audible enormous attention to the rapping, is the samples. My son recently played me another one, it was by James Brown. He asked me if I knew it. I said: do I know James Brown? Fuck, man! Let me tell you about the time my mother took me to the Stockholm Jazz & Blues Festival as a child. I was the only kid there, so I could just walk into the backstage area and I met B.B. King and the whole James Brown band. He was going to play there, but he had cancelled himself, while his band was already there. So his band members killed their time by playing all day with their new mascot: me! Like that. So much for my James Brown anecdote. And that's how it is at home all day long now. My son plays me Jimi Hendrix: do I know it? I have been influenced by so much music that if I were a visual artist, I would make collages. That's why I love the old work of the Beastie Boys: they actually made that into music and spent so much time on it. Well, in another way, mine, I think I try to incorporate all my influences into my music as well. I try not to overthink it: you have notes and you have language, and the only thing that matters in the end is that you make something with it that evokes a feeling in you, and if that feeling is very strong, that it might touch others as well. And sometimes, when it is finished, but only then, do you wonder what it reminds you of. I keep coming back to the word intuitive, but I really believe in that way of working: you have to keep writing and making music, then reduce it to 45 minutes or so for an album, and only at that stage you have to worry about whether some people find some pieces too similar to others. And even then. Sometimes people hear a song in your music that you've never heard yourself, or they say it's a 'copy', but that's a term with legal implications that don't apply at all. That's why that judgement against Ed Sheeran the other day was so important: before you know it, a musician is never safe from plagiarism accusations from someone who once wrote a song that nobody has heard. So yeah, I think that hip-hop comparison is the right one: I'm trying to carry on a musical tradition and, in culinary terms, cook a fusion meal.

Talk about a hip-hop custom. You're transparent about something songwriters have long seemed ashamed of: using co-writers to write your songs. For a long time, the idea was: you're a songwriter or you're a performer. And if you're a songwriter, you write everything yourself. Has that changed?

I consider the people with whom I write as editors. When you write a book, you also have an editor who says: you have here an anecdote of 5500 words, but you add so much that it distracts me from the core. Look at that again. Look, Aerosmith at one point threatened to become a legendary nostalgia act, without any direction. They then had songwriters intervene from outside to come up with a new sound, and with success. I'm not against that at all, but it's not what I do. I'm not looking for anyone to write a song for me. The premise is already there when the other one comes in. But then it comes! The person I invite to work with me has to challenge me to go in directions I hadn't thought of yet, take me to new places that fascinate me. Sparring with me to give me new insights, editing me, telling me when I am repeating myself.

You want to avoid repeating yourself?

I want to make sure that I am constantly learning. If you practise martial arts for years in the same dojo of the same sensei, it is also a good idea to train for a while in Shanghai. In a different environment, with different sparring partners. And it's complicated, because in this equation, during the recording of an album, I actually train at the same time in six different gyms with many different sparring partners, but I want it to continue to develop. And that also means that one day I can go back to our initial sound, but then enriched with everything I learned afterwards. For some puritanical metalheads this continuous change is a bit disturbing, and I understand that, because it can make a fleeting impression. But as much as I love AC/DC and Ramones, and that's really a lot, in the end I'm most fond of Queen's approach: doing it different all the time.

In the background, the sound of his sound-checking band is already pounding through the concrete of Forest National. Tobias has to get going, into the hall. “Finally, I get to play at Forest National! Do you know how many times I've seen the name of this venue on all the tour shirts of my favourite bands?”

#the band ghost #tobias forge #interview

[nhasablogg]

Learning Curve

Fandom: Stranger Things (season 4 but no volume 2 spoilers)

Characters: Wayne, Eddie/Steve (kind of)

Summary: Wayne has to learn how to communicate with Eddie, but it doesn’t always involve words.

A/N: Idk I just got this idea to write about Eddie’s uncle.

Words: 1.2k

Read it on AO3

Wayne had always been more of a listener than a talker, but Eddie had forced him to adapt after he came to live with him at age 14; troubled and angry and in serious need of talking. Even though Wayne’s listening and patient ear was very handy when it came to raising a teenager whose father had fucked him up beyond comprehension, Wayne found he needed to be able to talk back too. It had been a learning curve, steep and dizzying, but Wayne had never had any trouble with vertigo.

As Eddie got older, just about reaching his late teens, Wayne realized he’d gone more quiet. It had been alarming at first. Eddie was known for having periods of shutting people out, but he was never quiet. Wayne could always gauge his mood based on the sounds he made. The way he played his music, loud and deafening throughout the whole trailer, or softly in the background as he lay in bed. They never talked about it, but Wayne knew they’d moved beyond the need for words as their only means of communication.

When Eddie first grew quiet, Wayne found he needed to learn to speak again.

That was the first time he saw Eddie cry.

He was watching him now, a year or so later, and he realized they didn’t just need sounds to communicate as Eddie’s smile spoke volumes as it was. Wayne wondered if he should ask, gently prod, maybe tease, because he knew it was about a boy just as well as he’d known it had been about Eddie’s general feelings about boys a year or so ago.

But Wayne was only a talker when Eddie needed him to be, and Eddie didn’t need him to talk now. Turns out Eddie could talk a lot on his own if the mood was right.

Eddie in love turned into the biggest talker of them all.

“Do you think my hair looks okay today?”

Wayne glanced at him over the newspaper, a cloud of hairspray behind him as Eddie emerged from the bathroom. “It looks the same as always.”

“Is that your way of saying I need to switch things up?”

“It’s my way of saying there’s no need to get so caught up on it. It looks good,” he added when Eddie flopped down across from him, reaching for his coffee cup to steal three precious sips like he always did. “Did you get a haircut or somethin’?”

“No.” Eddie took a bite out of his toast, knees bouncing beneath the table and making his chair rock ever so slightly. Wayne had never gotten around to fixing the dodgy leg.

“So why do you ask?” It was as close as Wayne got to acknowledging it all, and he caught sight of Eddie’s slight embarrassment before he decided to grant him some mercy and put the newspaper between them again.

“People already think I’m a freak,” came Eddie’s reply, slightly delayed. “Might as well look good while they point.”

Wayne had never been violent until it had come to people’s treatment of Eddie. He’d nearly knocked his estranged brother’s teeth out that one single time he’d tried to take Eddie back, three months into him living with him. Not being able to punch high schoolers, he had to find satisfaction in cursing them out at home, sometimes with Eddie and sometimes without. It wasn’t really enough, but Wayne wasn’t an impulsive man.

He also wasn’t an oblivious man, and upon meeting Eddie’s new friends, some younger, some around his age, he could immediately tell that he’d finally found his people. That Steve Harrington ended up being one of them was the one surprise that Eddie had sprung upon him.

He knew of Steve, but only vaguely. The king of Hawkins High for most of his school years, but high school was only just that and people usually didn’t know much of what was going on in there, especially since the kids kept being replaced every four years anyway. But Wayne had seen Steve work at the video store, and that hair was hard to forget. Once he’d learnt his name it seemed he couldn’t fully escape him, and the image he’d formed of this stranger was thoroughly destroyed the moment Eddie brought him, Robin and Dustin to the trailer one day.

Steve greeted him formally, a hand shake and a smile that reached his eyes, but he seemed reserved, nearly shy around him, but maybe that was the effect of Robin and Dustin talking more than Wayne had his entire life. It was only later, after Wayne had gone outside to smoke, that he heard Steve’s more natural replies, the four of them all sassy and chaotic and absolutely perfect for each other.

“Your friends,” Wayne said later as he and Eddie sat outside to the sound of the cicadas. “They’re nice. Fun. I liked them.”

Eddie tried to seem casual about it as he nodded, but Wayne could tell from the way his hands finally relaxed in his lap that he’d been waiting for the verdict, although Wayne didn’t see why his opinion on this would matter.

“Good,” he said. “I like them too. And you’ve not met all of them.”

“I can’t wait until I do.”

Steve came over on his own sometimes, but then again, so did Dustin. Wayne wasn’t stupid enough to think his nephew was crushing on a child, and so he tried to find reasons to leave whenever Steve came around. A grocery run. Grabbing the mail. A sudden need to go on a walk. He was sure Eddie had caught on, but neither had said anything about it.

It was on one of the days he’d decided to stay that he heard it first; Eddie’s hysterical, high pitched, beautiful laughter coming from the bedroom, and while a part of him wanted to leave, a bigger part wanted to stay.

He’d not heard that laugh in years.

Eddie laughed. Of course he did. He was quick to giggle and quick to howl, but this type of laughter had grown rare with time. It was raw and pure and uncontrollable, and while Wayne realized that his nephew was most likely not laughing because something was funny he could also tell there was nothing reluctant about it.

Eddie burst out of the room eventually, acting like a teenager should. His hair was a mess, his smile so big it nearly split his face in half, and he was running away from an approaching Steve so halfheartedly Wayne nearly felt embarrassed for him.

But the way Steve also smiled told him he had nothing to worry about.

“Uncle Wayne,” he cried, rounding the couch and coming to a stop before him. “Help.”

Wayne leaned back, crossing his arms. “With?”

Eddie pointed at Steve. “He’s cruel.”

Steve from behind him. “I am not-”

“You sounded like you were having fun.” Eddie’s eyes snapped to Wayne and Wayne grinned, feeling it apt to finally tease, just a little. “Steve, son.” He turned to look at him. “Did you find that spot on his lower back?”

Wayne had time to catch Eddie’s betrayed look before he sprinted off, Steve calling out a thanks! before following, and soon the trailer was filled with Eddie’s ticklish laughter again.

Wayne leaned back again. He was more of a listener, after all.

#tickling #ticklish!eddie munson #steddie #stranger things fic #stranger things #stranger things s4 #mine #n writes #learning curve

[anonymityisfunwriter]

Enough For You - Chapter 5

Enough For You Chapter List

It's strange how you find yourself in the same spot you were in almost 4 years ago.

It's been about a month, your head is finally free from the murkiness and you're finally home.

The surrounding area of your house is quiet since Bucky took Grant out so you could surprise him with your return home.

You've spent some time with Grant, but never alone. You were also very careful to not give him false hope about when you'd be coming home.

Happy drives you up to your home, and you sigh in relief - you're finally home.

Happy's uncharacteristically...happy that you're not dead. He tells you that Peter's had a hard time since you died, that he took your death about as hard as he took Tony's death.

Pepper's pulled some strings to keep your's and Steve's names out of headlines until you can break the news to your former family. You, Happy, and Pepper already made arrangements to surprise Peter tomorrow.

When you get out of the car, you see Steve staring at the lake - it's the very same place he said goodbye to you all those years ago.

You haven't really spoken to him about what him coming back means or even why he came back. When you get out of the car, you approach Steve as he stares at the body of water in front of your home.

The words spill out of your mouth before you can find a tactful greeting, "I should hate you."

"You should," Steve says, not turning around to look at you. "You wouldn't be the first Stark to."

"Ah, you forget I'm not actually a Stark. And Tony didn't hate you."

He finally turns to you with a warm smile. "You're a Stark in everything except name."

You scoff.

He shakes his head with a chortle, "You forget that I knew Howard too. He would have loved you, probably as much as Tony did."

"You think?"

"I do."

"Tony didn't hate you," you restate.

"He would've, if he was here when I left. Especially after I promised him I wouldn't hurt you."

"When did you promise that?"

Steve chuckles, recalling the memory of Tony's thinly veiled threats when he found out that you and Steve were in a relationship. "After he found out about us. It was a very... big brother speech of him."

The day Tony found out about you and Steve was not pretty.

It added an unnecessary complexity to the already difficult tension between the two former friends.

You didn't mean for your relationship with Steve to happen, but you'd grown close to Steve during your shared nomadic days.

--

With you and Steve back at the Compound, it was difficult to get to be alone with each other. Last night Steve snuck into your room,  but only after reassuring you multiple times that no one saw him.

You nodded and sighed in relief. You didn't want to add any fuel to Tony and Steve's fight. 

You could completely understand why Tony was upset with Steve, you were upset with Steve for withholding that information from Tony.

It didn't change that the two of you fell so easily, so naturally. It also didn't change that for some reason Steve insisted on staying with you while you were on the lam.

You found comfort in each other, the chemistry and spark you'd always shared quickly turned into love. You two found happiness with each other.

All that was left was to tell Tony.

"You should tell him," Steve responded as you're about to open the door to sneak him back out.

It was almost funny, sneaking around like you were both teenagers under your parent's roof.

You explained your reasoning to Steve, why it wasn't a good idea yet. You were worried about how Tony would take the whole thing, even if Tony wasn't mad at you, he'd definitely use this as another reason to be pissed at Steve. "He loves you, he'll understand."

Then Steve's standing up behind you, his head tucked in your neck, trying to lure you back to bed. You giggled, and half-heartedly tried to pull away. You opened the door, Steve still playfully holding on to you.

Then you see Tony standing there, in your doorway. His eyes were wide, looking at the state of you and Steve. You're in one of Steve's shirts, his arm is wrapped around your waist. You're both disheveled, the kind that can't be passed off as just hanging out in the room.

"Tony," you gasped.

Steve's hands drop and you're unsure of what to do. Before you can say anything to remedy the situation, Tony  abruptly turned on his heels and walked away.

After that it's a rush, you quickly kiss Steve and get dressed. When you're finally presentable, you go start to look for Tony. In his office, you find Pepper.

"Have you seen Tony?"

"Well, good morning to you too," Pepper said with a knowing smirk.

You cringed. "Did he tell you?"

"No, he said something about how he couldn't believe it, under his roof, and some other things I didn't quite catch. I'm guessing he found out about you and Steve?"

"Wait, how did you know?"

"Well, I'm not blind. You've been on the run for a year, I figured you weren't alone the entire time. And then, you came back together. The fact that you've been attached at the hip since you got back didn't quite help either."

"How mad is he?"

She shrugged, "Go talk to him. You'll work it out. He's in the lab."

You took a deep breath before walking into the lab. You had absolutely no clue what was awaiting you, but you were sure that it wasn't going to be pretty.

"Hey," you whispered.

For the first time in the many years you'd known Tony Stark, he remained silent. It was harrowing, you'd seen him react in a lot of different ways, silence was never one of them.

"Tony?"

Still nothing.

"Really the cold shoulder? How old are we?"

"I just - I just don't have anything to say to you," he said solemnly. The words felt like a slap in the face, a well-deserved slap in the face.

"Come on, Tony. I was going to tell you, I just - I don't know, afraid that you'd react like this."

"How were you planning on telling me that you're sleeping with," he dramatically shuddered. "A man who deliberately omitted information about my parents' murder - the man who betrayed me? Because I would love to hear how you thought that conversation was going to go."

"I don't know, Tony. I knew it wasn't going to go any better than when I didn't sign the Accords."

"And let me guess, that was for Rogers too?"

"That was me doing the right thing," you defended.

"You don't think the right thing to do was to side with the one person who's had your back all these years?"

"I thought you understood that, Tony. I explained where I was coming from and you said you understood - you didn't agree, but you understood. Then I risked my ass by keeping in contact with you the entire time. Don't act like that was an easy decision for me."

"Because I wanted to make sure you were safe!" he shouted, throwing the tool in his hand down on the table. "That you weren't lying dead in a ditch somewhere."

"I'm sorry, Tony. I'm sorry that my decision hurt you. I did what I thought, and still do think was for the best. But I've known you a long time, Tony. You're a good man. And you know that it wasn't Bucky that killed your parents. You know that. Just like you knew it wasn't me that tried to kill you," you spoke softly, hoping that you could finally get through to him.  "Tony, for crying out loud, I tried to kill you. And you forgave me. Why is this any different?"

"Steve lied to me. He looked me right in the eye and lied to me. You -you were a kid, you didn't know any better. You didn't betray me. You did not call yourself my friend while lying to me the entire time. I knew exactly who you were, and not once did you lie to me - that is until you started whatever you're doing with Rogers. And now he's got you lying for him."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you - I wanted to give you and Steve a chance to bury the hatchet before I told you we've been slee-"

"Ah," he cut you off. "I don't need to hear that. God, I really don't need to hear that."

"Before I told you that we've been seeing each other," you corrected. "He's a good man, Tony. A good man who made a mistake. I hope you can see that again."

He sighs as you turn around to head out of the lab. "He makes you happy?"

You turn back around and nod. "Very."

"You owe me. Big time."

"You name it. Anything," you promised with a hopeful smile on your face.

"The name of your first born?"

You chuckle as you walk over and hug Tony. "Thank you."

--

"I remember that day. Another reason that I should hate you. I risked a lot being with you, by loving you."

"I wouldn't blame you if you did, if you didn't want me here. I'd understand."

You sigh. "I've always thought hate was a wasted emotion. Anger. Anger's more useful than hatred. I was really angry at you for a really long time. Angry that I wasn't enough. Angry that you left. Angry that you weren't there for your son. But how could I hate you when you gave me the most perfect little boy?"

"He's amazing. I wish you would have told me."

"I should have."

"I'm surprised at how well you're taking everything. It's...a lot."

"Well, I have a little boy that's been missing me for months. I need to be there for him right now. That's what being a parent is," you shrug.

"I really would understand if you didn't want me around. After everything I did, I would understand."

You place a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Steve, I'm not angry anymore. But I won't have you popping in and out of Grant's life. You need to make that decision right here and now."

He's about to open his mouth and give you a decision, but you cut him off. You need to make everything crystal clear to Steve before he agrees to anything. He needs to understand the decision he's making this time around. "Before you say anything, I feel like I should say this: you and me? It's not going to happen again. I just want you to be clear on that- we aren't on the table anymore. But Grant? He's your son, and I know you'll be a great father. I want to give you a chance, Steve. We could be a family if you want."

He smiles softly. "Well how could I say no to that?"

"Come on." You take Steve's hand and lead him back inside. "I want to show you something."

You lead Steve upstairs to Grant's room, more specifically Grant's closet.

It makes your heart flutter that Bucky maintained the meticulous, if not a little neurotic, organization system. You point to the box on the very top shelf. "Do you mind?"

He nods, silently grabbing the box and handing it to you.

"When I found out I was pregnant, I had a whole plan of how I was going to tell you. I was going to give you a few days, we were all taking Tony's death pretty hard, and I wanted this to be something we could be happy about." He looks at you like he's about to interrupt. "I'm not telling you this to feel bad, I just think you should know. I was going to make you breakfast while you were out on your run. Leave a bun in the oven with the sonogram."

You finally open the large box, there's more but this one is the first chronologically.

You were never a sentimental person, you couldn't be.

In your line of work, attachments were dangerous, but something changed when you found out you were going to be a mom.

You felt the need to save everything, all the keepsakes and memories you possibly could. And now, you were glad you did.

You knew it wasn't the same, but it was something.

You find the unopened envelope, it's a plain white envelope but Steve's name is written on there.

Steve's doing his best not to cry, but he sees the envelope. How he never got the chance to open it. How he missed all of this.

"Go ahead," you say. "Open it."

He takes it from your hands and gently opens it, careful not to rip it's contents.

Even though he knew what was inside, heck he'd already met his son too, but seeing the sonogram, it makes the tears fall.

He could have been here. He should have been here. Still he knows you're right, he would have always had that niggling thought in the back of his head that he'd be better with Peggy.

You show him the Polaroids of your pregnancy, Bucky was actually the one that insisted you capture that moment in time. Seeing the look on Steve's face, you're glad you listened to him.

Then you show him Grant's first ever picture, he was a premie so he looks incredibly tiny lying on your chest. Your hair's a mess, you're sweaty and the exhaustion is very noticeable on your face, but you have the biggest smile on your face, bigger smile than any Steve's ever seen from you. You're not looking at the camera, your eyes are on your son as his tiny hand is clutching your finger. "He was born early, 6 weeks. A tiny little thing. Bucky was mad that I drove myself to the hospital, to this day he says I should've called him," you laugh, though you're getting a little misty-eyed too.

"You were all alone?" he rasps.

"No," you shake your head. "I called him when I got to the hospital, and he was there when the baby was born."

"I should have been there."

You don't say anything. You agree that he should have been there, but you're part of the reason he wasn't.

Instead you continue your trip down memory lane, a very detailed trip. You show him onesies and little shirts that he used to wear. The little booties still made your heart melt. A picture of Bucky wearing a baby carrier. Videos of his first steps and words. You tell Steve how you yelled at FRIDAY to start immediately recording every time your son did anything you considered remotely incredible.

That's pretty much the only reason you didn't have them remove all the technology from the house when Tony gave it to you.

You remember that day well.

--

You were standing in Tony's office, he's solemn, not like his normal self. Almost like he knows his time's running out, at the time you thought it was simply the stress of losing so much.

The two of you are putting your heads together, trying to figure out your next move. You understand his reluctance, he's got a child now.

You now share his reluctance.

"I want you to have the cabin by the lake," he states out of nowhere.

Your head snaps up, you were discussing the plan to bring back all of the stones, so this seems particularly out of the blue. "What?"

"Well, I know how much you love it, it's a good place for you. It's a good place for you and Rogers, have a bunch of mini people running around."

You're taken aback by this. You'd kept your little secret to yourself, not wanting anyone to know before you told Steve yourself. Tony stares you down with that knowing look on his face, he knows. Somehow he knows. "How did you know?"

"I didn't, you just confirmed it. Have you told him yet? Is this a 'I need to kill Steve Rogers' situation? Just say the word and it's done," he tells you.

"No, Tony, it's not," you jokingly sigh. "I have a whole thing planned once this all dies down. Tony, you don't have to give me a house. I like my apartment."

"That's not a place to raise a child. Besides, I already transferred the title, it's already in your name, it would be super inconvenient to take it back."

"Tony, you really didn't have to do that."

"I know, but I want you to have it. More proof that Tony Stark has a heart."

"I've always known you had a heart."

"That's because I have a soft spot for fifteen year old assassins that are sent to kill me."

You laugh, remembering the day you met Tony Stark, how for several years he took you in mentored you. How he became the older brother you never had. How he destroyed the organization that turned you into a cold-blooded killer.

And after many years of knowing you, he offered you a spot on the team. "Anybody else would have let the Feds drag me away, you took me under your wing. Made me an Avenger."

"That's just because I didn't want you to try and kill me again."

"Thank you, Tony. For everything," you mumble into his chest as you hug him. You're not an affectionate person, but it felt like you needed to do that.

"I call dibs on Godfather," he says, his arms still wrapped around you.

You pull away from Tony. "You just can't call dibs on Godfather, Tony. What if Steve has some input on that?"

"I think I just did. And I don't see anyone else giving you a house."

"Because they're not insane," you laugh.

--

You try not to cry thinking about Tony's final few days. How excited he was. He knew for approximately three days.

Three days and he had all kinds of gifts for your unborn child, including a boatload of Iron Man merchandise.

You held up the shirt that said 'Iron Man is my uncle', when you asked him about it, Tony just shrugged you off telling you to leave him alone and let him spoil his unborn nephew.

It was one of the very few times you'd ever seen Tony be completely honest about your relationship with him. Neither you nor him ever said that you felt like siblings, but for all intents and purposes Tony Stark was your older brother.

Steve was right that he certainly acted like it.

Before you even told Steve, your child had a college fund, a completely exorbitant college fund in your opinion. How the days before the battle, Tony completely removed you from the frontlines, much to everyone's confusion.

As a contingency, he personally made several customizations to your suit, making it practically impenetrable. He hadn't planned the Compound being blown up, but he did his best to keep you out of the battle.

And then you saw the exact moment Tony Stark sacrificed himself to save the world. And your heart broke watching him, knowing he was taking his last breaths.

His last words to you were how excited he was for you, He made you promise to keep an eye out for Peter. Then he reminded you that he was the Godfather. You laughed, crying over him, agreeing to every single one of his requests.

Then much to your surprise, his lawyer contacted you about the estate of Tony Stark a few days after his funeral, how he left both you and your son a trust fund.

More money than you'd ever know what to do with. Along with the money, Tony left you a little video hologram of him.

How he was so proud of you, how he happy he was you were moving on to the next chapter of your life.

How he'd seen that you were a good person from the start, and now you'd get to have that happy ending.

How he'd come back and haunt Rogers if he hurt you. How this money was so you could leave behind the dangerous missions, The Avengers if you wanted, and live a normal life, the life you'd always wanted.

You showed Steve the pictures of the baptism that you had for Grant. You choked up telling him how Tony was indeed your child's Godfather.

You told Steve how you did keep your promise that you'd keep an eye out for Peter. How every once in a while Happy would drive Peter up to your home.

Bucky developed a real soft spot for him, and how Peter was absolutely terrified to hold Grant as a baby.

And sometimes when you and Bucky were up to it, you'd go to New York and pay him a visit.

You held up another little shirt, this one with the Captain America symbol on it. A last gift from Tony. Steve smiled, tears in his eyes when you told him how much his son loved that shirt. By the end of your shared trip down memory lane, Steve understood, reluctantly, but he understood.

You, Bucky, and Grant you'd been a family all these years. 

As you put away the boxes, Steve asks, "He makes you happy?"

You smile and nod. "Very."

He exhaled slowly, it would take time to move on from you. It had been just a few weeks for him, he'd need time to move on, to figure out his place in your's and Grant's life, but he understood that he had to.

--

The next day...

You were nervous. Peter was to you what you were to Tony, and you'd left him.

Bucky told you how he broke down at your funeral, right over your casket, sobbing until Bucky and his Aunt May peeled him off. That was the sugar-coated version of it, and even that broke your heart.

The reality of that day, the image of Peter at your funeral was burned into Bucky's brain.

It was part of the reason Bucky couldn't bring himself to see Peter since your funeral. It was just too much. Peter showing up to your funeral, his eyes red-rimmed, completely bloodshot like he hadn't slept since he heard. Even his Aunt May looked like she was holding back tears.

He held it together most of the service, but when he walked up to your casket, the emotional dam broke. He slumped down on your casket, begging you to come back, his hands gripping your casket as he begged. How he pleaded for you.

Bucky wanted to be right there with him. Once they got him off the casket, it wasn't much better. The sobs racked his body as he held onto Bucky so tightly. Bucky said very little opting to just prop Peter up until he could stand on his own, but Bucky didn't say anything to him.

He didn't offer him any advice or wise words like you would've, instead he worried that if he opened his mouth for even the shortest moment he'd start violently sobbing too.

You didn't blame Bucky for retreating from everyone, after all he was grieving too. You weren't quite caught up with the all the news yet, but you'd heard that Peter hadn't been quite the same since the funeral.

After Tony's funeral, Peter often sought you out, hoping for something tangible and concrete to help him through the mourning. This time you weren't there to keep him from falling apart.

You and Happy agreed to bring Peter over to Pepper's home so you could break the news. You weren't really even quite sure how one properly came back from the dead, you were pretty sure this warranted a meeting for all remaining Avengers, but that was no easy feat these days.

Bucky kept his hand on your shoulder as you heard the car pull up. Grant bolted the second he saw Peter.

He giddily ran to Peter, when Grant reached Peter, he scooped him off his feet while Grant squealed and laughed in excitement. 

"Hey, Grant! Buddy, I missed you!" you heard Peter say to your son. "You'll never guess what I did the other day."

"Pete? We have something to show you," Pepper called, trying to usher him into the house where you were anxiously waiting.

It always warmed your heart to hear how Peter talked to Grant. Peter talked to him like he would any other person, any other adult, with a little necessary censoring, of course. He'd dramatically tell him about whatever 'hero stuff' he got up to, who he saved, a new trick he learned.

"Oh, okay," Peter said, putting Grant back down. "Come on, they have something to show us."

"Mommy's inside," Grant said, even though you told him to keep it a secret. You'd hoped that he wouldn't say anything until Peter got to see you.

"No, buddy, she's not inside," Peter replied, his voice and face becoming more solemn.

"No, she's inside," Grant insisted. "She says it's a secret."

"Peter," Pepper called again.

You took this as your cue, stepping into the doorway. "I guess that's what I get for trying to get Grant to keep a secret."

Peter's head snapped up, wordless.

You took another step forward. "Hi, Pete."

"It that's a hologram, it's really lifelike," he whispered, his voice cracking and tears coming to his eyes.

He'd been burned by people distorting his sense of reality before. He approached you slowly. He refused to believe that you were real until he had some cold, hard proof. He reached out for your shoulder, gasping when he came in contact with an actual body.

"I'm real, Pete," you assure, pulling him into a hug.

He embraces you tightly, then quickly releasing you looking frantic. "But how- when did- I just-"

"Take a breath, Pete. I'll explain," you promise.

He embraces you again. He never though he'd get that again, your reassurance, your advice, both hero and young adult, and just you. "I'm just so glad you're back. I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, Pete," you whisper into his shoulder. 

Even though you knew that there was still a lot to overcome, a lot of remedying that was still necessary, right now everything felt okay.

Like the pieces were all finally coming together. For the first time your family was complete, and that was enough for you.

Previous Chapter⏐AnonymityIsFun Masterlist

#anonymityisfunwriter #anonymityisfun #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x fem!reader #Bucky Barnes x female reader #steve rogers x you #bucky x reader #james bucky barnes #steve rogers #reader insert #x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky angst #bucky x female reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes imagine #steve rogers x female reader #steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers imagine #Captain America x Female Reader #bucky barnes au #bucky fluff #parent bucky barnes

[mobolanz]

For the fun OC asks: 6, 15 and 24!

Okie thank you!:D ✨💖💞

6. What would they give their life for?:

Mia: for a very naturally giving and devoted individual, that's really on edge considering she wouldn't be so much of that if anyone takes it for granted and abuses it. She'll have to hold that someone VERY. VERY. VERY dear to her to actually give away the chance for great life as she pleased for herself if she thought this specific individual needed it more, be it if for their passions and dreams, or even that person's very life and safety to allow them continue and persuade the former.

Cecille: she doesn't think of that one much, or at least doesn't want to. She finds it to be a miracle she even woke up the next morning (for someone who hates sleeping) and hasn't worn herself out of the struggle to keep herself standing against those who don't like it, so actually valuing anything beyond that and disregarding her own life is an absurd concept to her. She thinks no ill and actually admires those who would, it shows they're true to whatever cause it is, but that can't be her. Especially because last time she actually tried, she found herself furthest from home thrown in a dark alley.

Evelyn: Being granted a right and way to exist and go on with her life just the way vulnerable gentle and Passionate she is without her mere presence causing anyone harm or leeching them dry. In a way it's "being forgiven" even if she's left with nothing, but she's obviously scared of being left with nothing. Which is an odd thing to work herself to death for, because then what would she do should she finally achieve it? Like bb omg ;-;

15. What was something their parents taught them?:

Mia: thinking of this one as I type because I never pondered much on her familial life... but I figure that despite living alone , she had a positive relationship with hers in contrast to the later two. So ever since young age it's to be all about what she feels she can truly do great in life,and is pleasant for herself as much as for others. And persuade it however available to her, and not hesitate when the chance to achieve more is offered to her - so long as she'll love doing it as much as the service she offers. That way to never waste away. A long one for love what you do and do what you love. Which explains her displeasure with her Living situation ever since departing- until a certain supernatural involvement OwO

Cecille: same as Evelyn's minus the guardian. But otherwise not much that isn't a toxic mentality that if she let's anything block her way from perfecting, that's not enough of a try, sje doesn't want it enough, and even an excuse.

Evelyn: Biological ones- most basics of her polite & ladylike mannerism (or more specifically delivered the overall program to her personal tutorers)

Her guardian since middle teenage years- learn when to shut up and be thankful for what you actually have because asking for more and more is what got you to lose it all to begin with.

24. Do you know their MBTI type?:

(Ohhhh love this one since I took ones for each of them 🤭)

Mia: INFP

(personal favourite examples: saki hanajima, shin-ah, chihiro ogino, nunnally vu Britannia, jane eyre, nia teppelin)

Cecille: ISTP

(personal favourite examples: Levi, Annie, sailor uranus, kyo sohma, aizawa shouta, arya stark)

Evelyn: ENFJ (Interesting factor: opposite of Cecille's and mirroring Mia's )

( personal favourite examples: falco grice, mami tomoe, margaery tyrell, princess yona, chibiusa, )

#aot oc #bnha oc #sailor moon oc #asks #miacore #cecillecore #evelyncore #mai thoughts #meta #mai writes

[ultfreakme]

Do you agree if said that Megumi and Tsumiki are "toxic doom siblings" (like wei wuxian, jiang yanli and jiang cheng from MDZS)?

Also, I'm surprised your fav MXTX is SVSSS (I thought it will be MDZS). I always think that most people love to dismiss SVSSS and said that it's not as serious or deep as MDZS & TGCF (but I still love SVSSS the most). So happy when I find other people who also love SVSSS.....

For me

Best MXTX protagonist : Wei Wuxian

Best MXTX male lead : Luo Binghe

Best MXTX couple : Hua Cheng/ Xie Lian

Overall story and best comfort read : SVSSS

How about you, Riki? (Sorry if I'm wrong in calling you, I did not mean to be rude, it's just in the end if every 'ask' you wrote : Riki ask)

Also sorry for this long ask....

Hi Anon! I'm answering this in reverse order a bit hehe. I go by Riki it's not rude at all dw dw! No need to apologize for asks, long or short, I'm grateful someone wants to interact with me and talk about shared interests <3

Megumi and Tsumiki being toxic siblings...hmm....idk if toxic is the word I'd use to describe them but there definitely were a lot of issues. Primarily because I think their ideals on life clashed. Tsumiki is someone who wanted to be nice to everyone, but Megumi can't afford that, he's a lot more practical about what kindness and helping people means because of his reality as a sorcerer. Megumi's convinced that she's faking her kindness or is trying too hard.

I don't think Tsumiki is totally faking it, I think she is a genuinely nice person but like every teenager, likes messing around and isn't perfect. Potentially, she's trying to live up to what she preaches and is having a hard time.

I think a lot of the conflict is teenage angst and him being a little brother. She's the only constant in his life, he may have took that a little for granted and when she got cursed it brought into sharp relief the differences in their reality of being a sorcerer and non-sorcerer. No he's the one who has to protect her and he's been left alone. It's easier to probably harbor resentment for her doing something as 'stupid' as getting cursed than confront that their relationship wasn't on the best terms when she fell into a coma and there's no way for him to fix it anymore.

It had a lot of potential to have gotten better if Tsumiki remained, or if she came back any time that wasn't the Culling Games and they got to grow up together. But alas....It's less toxic and more "bad timing".

Also SVSSS fav???? They're so rare to find right? Omg yes!!!

I've only read SVSSS and MDZS, I haven't gotten around to TGCF but my irl friend and everyone online says it's the best one. I'm just intimidated by how long it is. I might get around to to it someday but who knows.

SVSSS is definitely less deeper than the other two but it's got its own charms. I know in terms of everything it's lesser but idk, the potential and the meta story is really intriguing. The extra chapters changed my entire perspective on so many characters (Shen Jiu my guy you had so much potential I am sorry).

Also hmmmm I haven't really thought about them in terms of like, best protagonist, best couple, best male lead.....If I really had to rank then:

Best Protagonist: Wei Wuxian, novel version especially. He's a lot more flawed and genuinely devious in a lot of place in there. I love his arrogance and his confidence.

Best Male Lead: Luo Binghe. Pathetic man, horribly evil. I love you king.

Best Couple: Mobei-jun/Shang Qinghua tied with Yue Qingyuan/Shen Jiu

I like side couples and rarepairs that have no content I hate my life why do I do this to myself? MoShang;s dynamic when it focuses on SQH being MBJ's creator and in many ways, equally powerful or more powerful than him is fun. YQY and SJ are so tragic like, love toxic doomed yaoi.

#riki asks

[incandescent-sideblog]

Darlin’ + how they interact with the younger generations of the pack

@darlin-collins gave me the idea to do this, so thank you!!

I really had to think about this one, and I apologize for how long it might be in comparison to the ones I did for Asher and David, but this is what I came up with (warning: this is messy and unedited cause it’s exam season for me but I hope you enjoy nonetheless. I also switch between tank and darlin’ a lot to refer to them. Overuse of “the kids”).

I feel like, when they were a teenager and not really integrating into the pack very well with people their own age especially, they got along pretty well with the younger ones. Cause kids are really sweet sometimes and if they want someone to hang out with them, they’ll just ask.

So maybe tank had an army of children that really took a liking to them. It ranged from the kindergarten aged kids at the youngest and maybe ten year olds at the oldest? Cause I imagine they joined the pack when they were maybe 14 ish and no one close to their age was easy for them to get along with?? At first, at least.

Anyway.

They just adore them cause they’re new to the pack and they’re older and cool and they make a really cool play buddy at solstice events.

I imagine they were pretty quiet as a teenager, especially the first few months of joining the pack, so the kids actually help them be a bit more forward and comfortable in pack spaces. They feel welcome around the kids, definitely more welcome than anyone their age or older made them feel 🥲

They could also be the reason they started slowly getting to know the other teens-

I’ve already said that Asher made a point of getting to know the kids and played with them and stuff, they all really love him. So maybe the kids just drag ash and darlin’ over to play one day and the two of them are able to talk somewhat normally for the first time since they joined. After that things get somewhat okay and darlin’ is a bit more comfortable around people their age thanks to their army.

So now some angst: when darlin’ started getting in with Quinn and stuff, they definitely distanced themself from the pack, we know this to be true, so for some extra pain, the kids miss them. Like a lot. The kids always go up to them at pack things and they still ask to hang out and they will, but these guys just know something is off with them. They’ve gotten to know tank over the years, some of these kids are teens now, and they know something’s up but they don’t know how to approach it. They’re very distant from their little army now.

This only gets worse when darlin’ realizes just how bad Quinn is. They would rather die than have anything happen to those kids, so eventually they just stop hanging out with them all together to keep them safe.

When they go to Washington, the teens (who are old enough to understand that something big has happened and they’re not getting the full story- but granted, neither was David) constantly ask their alpha if he’s heard from them. The kids that aren’t as aware now just ask when their friend is coming back.

So while they’re gone, the army make their own mini promise to each other that they’ll be there for tank when they get back and try not to push them about finding out what happened.

And when they DO come back (I imagine the kids wouldn’t be at that meeting David called for them to explain everything cause that’s a lot), the first one to notice them at a regular pack meeting literally runs to them and holds onto them so tightly. Then the others who were in attendance notice and run to them too.

They’d be lying if they said they weren’t terrified of how the kids would act around them after disappearing for so long. So this reaction (while attention drawing) was very much needed and appreciated.

OKAY NOW FLUFF!!!

At the most recent solstice party, when they bring Sam with them, the kids are staring at the both of them so intensely. Sam has heard about how much these kids mean to them, so when one of them comes up to tank to talk to them, he wants to make a good impression (I feel like Sam is just so good with kids, but teens kind of stress him out a bit, I can’t explain it).

If it’s a younger kid that came up to tank, he’ll smile and wave at them and after a minute, the kid will go back to the group and with his vampire listening skills, he’ll just hear the kid go “I like him, he’s nice” and he just grins.

If it’s a teenager, he’ll be more nervous, cause he just knows that teens can go either way. He’ll make small talk with them and he’s just hoping that this one approves cause he knows how important his partner and these kids are to each other.

Thankfully he wins over both generations.

To these kids, tank is just like, the super cool older sibling. Like, they literally adore them and tank adores them back. They’ve really enjoyed watching them grow up and looking after them. They definitely feel responsible for them.

This got long and it’s super messy, very unedited and it’s literally just what was in my brain straight to this post. Maybe I’ll do Milo next? I’m kind of at a loss for what to do for him and the younger generations, so any ideas would be appreciated!!

#redacted asmr #redacted shaw pack #redacted darlin #redacted tank #redacted sam

[margridarnauds]

Something I feel isn’t discussed enough re: Thunder and Whisper, mainly because I think we all take it for granted, is that they aren’t from Albion. We know they’re from "The South Islands”, possibly Aurora, possibly someplace that isn’t explained in later games (my personal belief), but the point is that they aren’t from there. They’re only in Albion because Thunder was able to save the both of them, the implication being that, if their parents weren’t dead already, they died in the shipwreck. Thunder can’t have been too old at the time -- There seems to be an age gap between the two of them, but it stands to reason he might have been a teenager. So you have these two people, these two kids, alone in a foreign country. We know, from Lucrezia’s presence (though I suspect she comes from Samarkand, not the South Islands) that there’s a taste in Albion for what they consider to be “exotic”, but that doesn’t translate into respect or care. We don’t know when they got to the Guild of Heroes -- it might have been just afterwards, with the Guild becoming aware of their actions during the shipwreck, it might have been after. 

Of COURSE Thunder took to being a Hero. It got him respect, it got him *belonging*, it got him status. Of COURSE he pressures his sister into being the best Hero she can be -- in his mind, being a Hero is what got them everything they have, every ounce of stability. It’s all he’s really known for years, it’s what he lives for. It doesn’t mean that it’s right, especially given that it comes at the expense of the Hero of Oakvale, who’s a traumatized child, but he isn’t the only traumatized child in the Guild at the time. Of course Whisper would be competitive, because she has to be. The Hero of Oakvale *is* from Albion, he blends in, he is accepted as One of Them in ways that Thunder and Whisper never will be. It isn’t an option for her to sit by and take second place when she has to justify her place in society in a way that the Hero of Oakvale doesn’t. Of course Thunder resents the Hero of Oakvale for the arena and then taking Lady Grey -- regardless of whether or not he does love her in canon (I think that the writers, honestly, just fell into a lot of unfortunate stereotypes about black men and white women), she is also a *lady*. She’s beautiful, yes, but she also represents a level of nobility, privilege, and status that Thunder, as a foreigner, can’t achieve. Marrying her wouldn’t just be marrying Elvira Grey, Mayor of Bowerstone, it would be marrying his way into society. And then that’s taken away from him. By the Hero of Oakvale, who is, once again, a native citizen of Albion. If he’s lost Whisper as well, that’s everything. He’s lost his prestige, he’s lost his chance to integrate into Albion society, he’s lost his little sister who is the only thing that he brought to Albion with him. Of course he’s broken. Of course he’s bitter. 

And obviously, this is built on a lot of headcanons and speculations, I’m not claiming this is canon when we get so little of these two in canon, but it at least helps to explain *why* the two of them are like that -- they’re playing by totally different rules than the Hero. 

#thunder and whisper are in roughly the same position as rose and sparrow are #the main difference is that they don't even have the tenuous place in society that Rose and Sparrow did -- they were poor Albion citizens #BUT they were Albion citizens -- they had a community they were part of #fable the lost chapters #fable tlc #thunder fable #whisper fable