#but it probably won't

[cheshirsh]

hey, I have a question for all those people with clinical depression/bipolar disorder (2nd type)

can we be in some sort of committed and healthy relationship? because I think I failed my every chance because depression didn't really let me feel any attraction to people

and some people said no several days after saying yes because I required "too much work" and they couldn't cope with it

and it just started bothering me recently, and the frightening conclusion I came to is that it is just impossible and I will be lonely forever and it all will be my fault

I know my depression makes me stupid and pessimistic, but I'm afraid this stigma around mental illness actually does prevent us from being in any sort of committed relationship or at least starting one

what do you think?

#depression #relationships #ask #bipolar disorder #and queer people please let's stick together #i hope it will be better #but it probably won't

[tyrantisterror]

#I enjoyed this one so I'm really hoping it avoids internet drama #But it probably won't #Youtube

[thebewilderer]

hey on the off chance that you give a shit, i just saw your tags on a post making fun of your coworker for not being able to round 9.79 up to 10, and i just wanted to say irt your comment about not respecting people who cant do maths even when they have a calculator and sheet of paper that dyscalculia is a very real learning disability and it doesnt make someone inherently stupid or childish. not that im saying this is what your coworker has, just that you specifically said you dont respect people who cant do maths even with help, which was a little ableist. not coming for you or anything, just thought id offer a bit of experience. have a good day.

so i queue most of my posts so i don't remember the exact post you're talking about, but i do remember the story i was telling, and your retelling is pretty disingenuous, so i'll retell it here. i'll call my coworker "michelle," because that's her name and she's awful enough that i don't care about keeping her anonymous.

anyways, so the customer's total was $9.79, and they wanted to round it up to ten for a donation. we don't have a "roundup" button, so we have to manually enter the cents they want to donate.

(i don't remember the specific post (and honestly i don't care enough about this ask to go looking for it), but i'm sure i said something along the lines of "i don't fault people for not being able to do the mental math, that's not the issue" because that's what i say when i tell the story in real life, just to clarify that that's not the issue i have)

next to every register we have two things that are relevant here. one is a calculator. michelle used the calculator, and i have no idea what she put in but it gave her the answer of 31 cents, which she entered into the register. this is obviously not correct, and the customer's total afterwards was $10.10 instead of their desired $10.00. she then called me over to complain that the calculator was broken and gave her the wrong answer.

the second relevant thing we have next to each register is a small piece of laminated paper taped to the side of the screen. it looks something like this:

after i corrected the cents amount and the customers left, i showed her this sheet.

she said "oh yeah, haha, i don't know how to use that"

taking a deep breath to control my initial urge to facepalm, i explained to her that all she had to do was look at the 79 under the leftmost "if" column, and then go across to the "then" column to see that she needed to type in 21 cents.

this completely baffled her.

i came up with more examples: "see so like, if the total ends in .12, you'd go to this column-" here I pointed to the exact row and column that had the 12 in it, "-and you'd go across to here-" and i moved my finger horizontally to the 88 next to it, "-and you'd enter in 88 cents!"

and she said

and this still pains me

she said "oh, so if the customer has something that costs like, $12.65, i'd enter in 88 cents!"

and for a second my brain stopped. i went into more detail about how it's the ending two numbers, not the beginning two numbers. i think she might have gotten it by the end, but who fuckin knows. the conversation ended with her saying something along the lines of "these sheets are so confusing!"

anyways so that's the actual story.

the parts i didn't mention were that the customers were hispanic people who spoke very very little english. michelle was asking them every question in the book in very fast english ("do you want the card? here's a thousand reasons why. do you want to donate? do you want to round up?") and these poor women clearly just wanted to get their shit and leave.

and then after the painstaking lesson on how to look at the sheet of paper, michelle made the comment "i don't know why they'd come in here if they don't speak english" with an accompanying half-laugh that white women always do when they expect you to agree with them on their racism. i mention this part because that's why i'm so nasty about her. i don't dislike her because she's stupid. i dislike her because she's a racist trumper antivaxxer.

and just so you know, sometimes people are just not smart. there doesn't always have to be a learning disability involved. i know someone who has dyscalculia. i was engaged to them for four years. i know it's a thing. but there's a difference between his inability to do math and number-related shit and her unwillingness to acknowledge that she's bad at numbers and tendency to blame everything around her for her ineptitude.

i know i'm an outlier with math. it's why i have an explicit disclaimer i mention every time i tell that story that i have no problem with people who can't do mental math, that i know it's normal to not be able to do mental math, and that not being able to do mental math doesn't mean you're automatically the stupidest person alive. i know very few people who can do that in their heads. sure, i personally think it's odd that people can't do it automatically, but i use my empathy-human brain to acknowledge that since it's such a large portion of the population that can't do it, it's probably me that's weird. people aren't stupid for not being able to do mental math. i feel like i've made this very clear, both on this post and on my blog in general (i have many posts where i acknowledge that math and stem fields aren't the be-all-end-all of intelligence. this is not a secret.)

and side note: it doesn't make someone bad or less of a person if they're stupid, it just makes them not smart. even on this website, we have a tendency to go "you're not stupid, you're just smart in other areas!" which is kind of demeaning imo. some people just aren't smart. and it doesn't make them a bad person to not be smart! what makes someone a good or bad person is how they treat other people.

and as a concluding note to you personally, you probably shouldn't start your messages with "on the off chance that you give a shit." it's extremely aggressive right off the bat, puts the person who receives it on the defense immediately, and also ironically makes them a lot less likely to give a shit, or respond in good faith. just a protip.

#ih #asks #to clarify: michelle is stupid. this DOES NOT make her a bad person. michelle is racist. this DOES make her a bad person. #thank you for coming to my ted talk. #also lmao at me: #''i don't care enough about this ask to look for the particular post you're talking about'' #*proceeds to write a fucking dissertation about it and make a mspaint graphic* #lol fucking loser (at me) #eh whatever i guess #hope this helps you anon #but it probably won't

[madamemachikonew]

"Go to hell" is basic. "Hope your favourite anime movie sequel gets cancelled after seven years in production AND getting an animated teaser." is smart. It's possible. It's terrifying. It's happened.

#I don't follow YOI #but seriously though I feel really bad for the fans #Mappa has such talented staff but management's work practices suuuuuck #those guys are probably being overworked on way too many projects and there's been too high a staff turnover to continue the film #like I'd be amazed if any of the original artists are still working on it #imagine working on it knowing now that your work won't see daylight and that none of the overtime or suffering was worth it #yuri on ice #ice adolescence #mappa studio

[go-learn-esperanto]

I see so many people starting to use Threads as a way to escape Twitter and yes, it's owned by Facebook's CEO and giving Facebook the monopoly of social media is bad but I think we should also talk about the fact that, you know, Threads isn't avalibe in the EU for privacy reasons????? That should be concerning to EVERYONE

#twitter #threads #just so there's no confusion: Meta is the one that isn't gonna release Threads to the EU #This is because they're afraid it won't pass GDPR #You should probably be aware the Facebook has recently gotten a fine of $1‚2M+ for breaching GDPR #So Meta doesn't want to try their luck. Since they don't seem to want to change how their app works #they are gonna wait until the EU confirms this #although it's pretty clear they are getting more data than they should

[twistcmyk]

something obvious that i only figured out a year or two ago

#i probably won't quit twitter anytime soon #it's where most of my following is #and where i've made most of my connections #but man is it easy to manage when you just #close the window after posting art

[raycatzdraws]

Wolfie and Four friendship appreciation doodles! They're shared secrets besties! I hope Four's distrust of the shadow crystal doesn't drive anything between them. Wild found his way into this compilation with a force. It seems I can't draw Wolfie and not include him too!

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu four #lu twilight #lu wolfie #lu wild #lu legend #lu hyrule #fairy hyrule #I drew most of these on my weekends at camp #hence the swearing probably lol can't swear in front of the campers #man I did not leave that mountain for the whole summer and I wouldn't have it any other way #I was there 6+ weeks straight #some of the other counselors who also stayed and I would occasionally make the hour drive into town #a bunch of us went to see the Barbie movie together and like 2/3 through the film the fire alarm went off and we were evacuated ajhsgfsdf #we all held hands to not be separated in case there was an actual emergency and some guy was like 'look at the preschoolers' #AND AAAAA I won't be separated from my counselor buddies!!!! RAAAHH this is what we would have gotten the kids to do #so I guess we're just too good at our jobs lol #that one LU post with the lads lined up with their bows? It's AWESOME #but I taught a bunch of kids archery this summer and none of the lads have the right posture lol #I'm walking up and down that line readjusting all of them ahsgdsdf #Imagine Wars going to Wind though like 'remember to pull back to your smile! :D ' #and Wind just deadeye staring him down like you serious rn? #caught and removed a scorpion from the lake cabin biffy this summer - that was very exciting #calmed the campers down and put them to bed and then rolled up my sleeves and asked the program staff who was staying with us #for emotional support #her only experience with scorpions was from animal crossing so she was like 'get ready to run' and I'm- I think we'll be okay #anyways it's her perched on one of the toilets with a spray bottle of bleach and me with an empty tupperware from dinner #I caught it under the tupperware but IT MOVED THE TUPPERWARE #we drowned it in bleach and it like finally died but it took a while and then we flung it into the woods BYE BUGGY

[egophiliac]

now that I can think semi-coherently again...whooooo's ready for Friday WEEHOO

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #stage in playful land #stage in playfulland #i've only had gidel for a day and a half et cetera you know the rest #guidel? gider? ah yes. what's that romanization. my favorite game #i'm gonna go with fellow and gidel until something official comes out i guess #anyway HEY it's spooky carnival time where everybody wears hats and then probably turns into puppets or something! i'm excited! #yuu and grim are probably going to be there also which means it doesn't canonically take place during glorious masquerade #which is unfortunate because that really is the most hilarious possibility #ace and deuce in unison: ugh you won't BELIEVE what happened while you were gone #these boys cannot just have one nice day without someone trying to take over the school or destroy all magic forever or something #such is life in twisted wonderland

[justpollux]

"@/dillonGoo:

Given the latest developments, I'm seriously interested in acquiring @/OfficialRWBY from @/RoosterTeeth. Who should I talk to?

Much of our team worked on the original volumes and collaborated directly with Monty. We'd be honored to bring the series back and carry the torch #RWBY"

Please god, Dillon worked on V3 and animated some incredible, iconic scenes (Velvet's big moment and Cinder VS Pyrrha, for example), and his animation studio now has some incredible work. Please please please put RWBY into the hands of someone who really truly cares for it 🙏🙏🙏

#rwby #rooster teeth #pollux posts #i know wb probably won't make it easy but PLEASE

[ryllen]

ruggie when he's bored, fsddsds deuceeeeeee

#does ruggie do or does ruggie don't #jade probably knows but he won't stop it #twst #twisted wonderland #ruggie bucchi #floyd leech #jade leech #deuce spade #ace trappola #fanart #next thing u know he'll make sebek making a heart sign to someone other than malleus #just kidding would he dare to mess with diasomnia members again no matter how small the prank is

[cookinguptales]

You know... I had an experience about two months ago that I didn't talk about publicly, but I've been turning it over and over in my mind lately and I guess I'm finally able to put my unease into words.

So there's a podcast I'd been enjoying and right after I got caught up, they announced that they were planning on doing a live show. It's gonna be near me and on the day before my birthday and I thought -- hey, it's fate.

But... as many of you know, I'm disabled. For me, getting to a show like that has a lot of steps. One of those steps involved emailing the podcasters to ask about accessibility for the venue.

The response I got back was very quick and very brief. Essentially, it told me to contact the venue because they had no idea if it was accessible or not.

It was a bucket of cold water, and I had a hard time articulating at the time quite why it was so disheartening, but... I think I get it a little more now.

This is a podcast that has loudly spoken about inclusivity and diversity and all that jazz, but... I mean, it's easy to say that, isn't it? But just talking the talk without walking the walk isn't enough. That's like saying "sure, we will happily welcome you in our house -- if you can figure out how to unlock the door."

And friends, my lock-picking set is pretty good by this point. I've been scouting out locations for decades. I've had to research every goddamn classroom, field trip, and assigned bookstore that I've ever had in an academic setting. I've had to research every movie theater, theme park, and menu for every outing with friends or dates. I spend a long time painstakingly charting out accessible public transportation and potential places to sit down every time I leave the house.

Because when I was in college, my professors never made sure their lesson plans were accessible. (And I often had to argue with them to get the subpar accommodations I got.) Because my friends don't always know to get movie tickets for the accessible rows. Because my dates sometimes leave me on fucking read when I ask if we can go to a restaurant that doesn't keep its restrooms down a flight of stairs.

I had one professor who ever did research to see if I could do all the coursework she had planned, and who came up with alternate plans when she realized that I could not. Only one. It was a medical history and ethics class, and my professor sounded bewildered as she realized how difficult it is to plan your life when you're disabled.

This woman was straight-up one of the most thoughtful, philosophical, and ethical professors I've ever had, one who was incredibly devoted to diversity and inclusion -- and she'd never thought about it before, that the hospital archives she wanted us to visit were up a flight of stairs. That the medical museum full of disabled bodies she wanted us to visit only had a code-locked back entrance and an old freight elevator for their disabled guests who were still breathing.

And that's the crux of it, isn't it? It's easy to theoretically accept the existence of people who aren't like you. It's a lot harder to actively create a space in which they can exist by your side.

Because here's what I did before I contacted the podcasters. I googled the venue. I researched the neighborhood and contacted a friend who lives in the area to help me figure out if there were any accessible public transportation routes near there. (There aren't.) I planned for over an hour to figure out how close I could get before I had to shell out for an uber for the last leg of the trip.

Then I read through the venue's website. I looked through their main pages, through their FAQs to see if there was any mention of accessibility. No dice. I download their packet for clients and find out that, while the base building is accessible, the way that chairs/tables are set up for individual functions can make it inaccessible. So it's really up to who's hosting the show there.

So then and only then I contacted the podcasters. I asked if the floor plan was accessible. I asked if all the seats were accessible, or only some, and whether it was open seating or not. Would I need to show up early to get an accessible seat, or maybe make a reservation?

And... well, I got the one-sentence reply back that I described above. And that... god, it was really disheartening. I realized that they never even asked if their venues were accessible when they were booking the shows. I realized that they were unwilling to put in the work to learn the answers to questions that disabled attendees might have. I realized that they didn't care to find out if the building was accessible.

They didn't know and they didn't care. That, I think, is what took the wind out of my sails when they emailed me back. It's what made me decide that... yeah, I didn't really want to go through the trouble of finding an accessible route to the venue. I didn't want to have to pay an arm and a leg to hire a car to take me the last part of the journey. I didn't want to make myself frantic trying to figure out if I could do all that and still make the last train home.

If they didn't care, I guess I didn't either.

If they'd apologized and said that the only venue they could get was inaccessible, I actually would have understood. I know that small shows don't always get their pick of venues. I get it. I even would have understood if they'd been like "oh dang, I actually don't know -- but I'll find out."

But to be told that they didn't know and didn't intend to find out... oof. That one stung.

Because.... this is the thing. This is the thing. I may be good at it by now, but I'm so tired of picking locks. I'm tired of doing all the legwork because no one ever thinks to help me. I'm tired of feeling like an afterthought at best, or at worst utterly unwelcome.

If you truly want to be inclusive, you need to stop telling people that you're happy to have them -- if they can manage to unlock the door. You need to fucking open it yourself and welcome them in.

What brought all this back to me now, you may be asking? Well... I guess it's just what I was thinking to myself as I was tidying up my phone.

Today I'm deleting podcasts.

#I guess it did save me a lot of money #I'll still probably go up to nyc to visit with friends for my bday but I won't go all the way out to brooklyn for the show #and I probably won't need to get the hotel room #and I DEFINITELY won't be supporting their patreon like I was planning lmao #I'll buy myself a new tarot deck for my birthday instead #cw: #disability #ableism

[mariyekos]

Okay to reblog to help sample size!

#erurandomness #erubabbles #fanfiction #fanfic #I have a few longfics I've come to realize I'll probably never finish #but they have like 50k words and maybe people would enjoy the beginning? #and i *want* to finish them. I just don't know if I'll ever get that spark back that'll let me finish. it's frustrating #my perfectionism has kind of paralyzed me and a mix of that and drifting fandoms has me wondering #would people like it if i shared them so they could experience what's been written? or is it not worth it if they won't be updated? #fic tag

[rowanwithaz]

I'm disappointed in the bkdkdkbk community for not writing enough fics about this. You all have FAILED me. I really can't find any good zoo fics,and I've searched and searched Ao3 trust me.

#mha #bkdk #dkbk #bnha #dekucchan #greenade #bakudeku #dekubaku #izukatsu #dekukatsu #katsudeku #I want to write my own but my brain juices won't work #When they do I won't stop writing zoo fics #It'll probably be Dkbk #I like bkdk but I prefer dkbk #Thanks for the notes #goddamn #Two thousand notes #Shit y'all disappointed with me? #Not like disappointed just “disappointed”

[froggysoup]

happy fontaining :)

#genshin impact #lyney #lynette #freminet #probably won't play myself for a while im still mad that i didn't get the kaeya skin in time #my art

[pixelsjoy]

#Super Mario RPG #SMRPG #Legend of the Seven Stars #Mallow #Super Mario #SMB #Super Mario Bros #Me when I remember SMRPG comes out tomorrow #I probably won't be able to grab the game until later since uh. Money. BUT ONE DAY #Video

[caught-a-dragonfly]

Suptober | day 1 | liminal

#cas being a creeper lol #probably won't be able to do too many of these #or on time #but wanted to join the fun a little <3 #suptober23 #castiel #dean winchester #deancas #destiel #supernatural #spn art #spn fanart