#but like in a fun way. in a happy alone but not lonely way yknow?

[liauditore]

For the ship bingo, perhaps ethubs or boatboys?

sorry it took so long to get to this i got so excited someone asked me to talk abt ethubs i went into a coma 😭😭

Ethubs

um uhh umerm ethubs yeah etho and bdubs and last life and mindcrack UHCs and eyah yknow um yeah

you know that one post that's like "inside my head is a five page essay with footnotes and when i speak it's just ouhghh blorbo he is so shaped". that's me with ethubs. not even kidding ethubs is the ship that made me finally "get" shipping in general, mcyt or not. i. words. i care them.

and uh there's. not rlly anything i can say i think that my ethubs moots haven't already said? They've been friends forever, they play off eachother super well, "he loves me", they're both so obsessed and in need of eachother but at the same time would rather eat raw, unpicked cactus than admit that, etc etc they're so unwell

im just gonna skip on over to the song lyrics bit cus i. they make my brain short circuit i cant even sentences.

The scarlet summer is gone and peaceful gray is draping the city Alone, I reach out for you to hold me tight, shivering Always the days spent with you warmed my heart and kept me from freezing Although I knew they were gone forever But in my pain, to me you came like the warmest breeze "On nights so cold I know you need some company."

Though only in lonely and freezing times, we held each other close to keep from feeling hopeless nothings And now again I can see summer fast approaching like a storm that there's no stopping Repeating in a cycle Like our mistakes

My love for you is endless, just like the deepest sea And like the ocean blue your complications speak to me I've come to understand you, your parts and inner workings My sun only in winter Only when I need you or else you won't need me

Leave you in Summer, Yet You're In My Fluffthoughts (Ashe translyrics) (sidenote this might be one of my favourite music videos of all time)

Falling so deeply while clinging to love But even so, I feel my heart and it’s floating up above Your true face, such a passionate one, shows your beauty, coming in a flood True, all of our short-lived youth will someday come to end Ah, even so, in my view, it starts right now, yet again

And every day, I found I prayed for you to be always full of happiness that remains Ah, just like this, please wait right by my side, please stay

Tablet (Will Stetson / sayriris translyrics) (after watching LL the first thing i did was make a MV to this song with LL Bdubs and it was still the most insane thing ive ever done fuelled by pure gargoyle inspiration juice)

I wouldn't say they're ~~Divorced~~ quite yet cus Idk if they were ever really married as much as just plain endlessly obsessed with eachother, which they still are. But they definitely broke up lmao

but yeah uh their chemistry is great. bdubs said it best. they've been thru the trenches together.

Boat Boys

Thankfully much less thoughts about these two or else this post would get way too long lmao. I like them but I'm not too insane about them I guess? Etho's very awkward near people he isn't used to which was fun to watch but made their interactions kind of limited for a lot of DL I feel.

Joel's obsession with Etho is hilarious and seeing Bdubs get jealous of his #1 ethogirl status getting challenged is great fun. He's definitely gone through a bit of an arc from "I KILLED ETHO! I KILLED ETHO!!" in Last Life to "Eefo D:< You're making me nervous, eefo D:<" in Double Life to whatever the cow divorce situation was in Limlife. It seems like Etho's otherworldly status has been nerfed in his head and he's much less intimidated by him, while still admiring him in that 'childhood hero' sorta way.

I think because of that I've always seen them a little bit as more of a mentor/prodigy relationship than anything else? Specifically one that Etho is not even aware he's in. Eitherway, I don't really ship them in the romantic sense 🤷‍♂️ etho's just way too aloof and joel's got too much fangirl energy for it to be anything intimate lol

#asks #ask games #trafficshipping #ethubs #smalletho #i love joel smallishbeans have i mentioned i love joel smallishbeans #but yeah i would have so much more ethubs art if i wasn't such a perfectionist abt them </3 #they drive me insane

[divine-misfortune]

YOU UNDERSTANDDDDDD !!!!!!!!!!! <3

if you have thoughts… please share, i beg 👀 /nf

Steeples fingers

So my thoughts are all over the place there is no coherency in this house

No but like I've bothered Crim about them soo much because I'm obsessed

Phantom is too - phantom thinks that Zeph is the prettiest thing ever willed into existence. A fallen star gracing the earth, gracing him, with their mere presence.

He admired them from afar for the longest time. Hiding in the shelves of the library, peeking up from a book he'd been pretending to read for an hour, all to catch a glimpse. See them in their element; glasses slipped down the bridge of their nose, brow furrowed, focused on transcribing. He loves the shape of their profile, the way they move their lips silently while writing, oh he's outright smitten with every fine detail. And he hasn't gone unnoticed...Zephyr doesn't think he's subtle, but they like the attention. They spare him these crooked soft smiles in passing and he nearly trips over himself. Makes his heart beat out of his chest.

Theyre good for each other, yknow?

Phantom's quintessence is good for easing the aches they can't seem to soothe themself, and Zephyr helps the poor bug when his lungs can't seem to take the air he needs. They brought him out of his first asthma attack, careful to guide each breath with their magic. He thought they were an angel in his panic.

A lot of Phantom's flare on stage was first inspired by them - Aether showed him videos of old performances. Something about them during their keytar solo always stuck with him. He's far too embarrassed to tell them that though. I'm sure Zeph knows.

He's a little jealous of how easy Mountain, Dew, and Aether seem around them. Bonded already, intimately familiar with every inch of each other. Phantom aches for that familiarity. It'll come with time, but still doesn't change it.

When they get closer, Zephyr starts finding pressed flowers left for them. Slipped under their door or left at their work station, sometimes sitting on the organ keys just waiting for them. Little violets mostly.

......and NSFW under the cut here because of course I'm gonna be horny about them

I hc air ghouls as having feathers, and oh god Zeph's got the prettiest silver feathers. Pretty but fuck are they sensitive to touch. Start petting them, massaging your fingers in, they melt. Phantom discovered it on accident, idly playing with their hair, starting to fuss with the feathers. They're gasping and whining in seconds, Zeph turns so pink. Phantom's favorite thing is to be in their lap, bouncing on their cock, fingers buried into their feathers, because their eyes roll back and just fucking stay there.

And if you remember this ficlet you'll recall their fun little breathplay adventures...I just think Zeph gets off on having so much effortless control over Phantom with just their magic. A younger, spry, ghoul. Helpless to their will, at their feet begging for a single breath with his eyes alone. It's fucking delicious. It's an image that stays in their mind for a long time, that they recall often on lonely nights.

I don't think Zeph loves quintessence being used for anything besides pain relief but I think there are days where they ask Phantom to indulge them. Days where their spine feels like there are needles digging between the vertebrae or their hip refuses to not pop out of place, but something still coils up in their belly. Hot and insatiable, a literal ache of need that hurts almost as much as the rest of their body. Phantom is more than happy to lay beside them, stroking their cheek as his magic makes a home in their eyes, watching bliss take their face, their fingers curl into the sheets. The sensation of being fucked, split open on some unseen force, overwhelms them, overtakes them. He wrings out at least two orgasms from them each time, the second one is always selfishly taken but they're beyond content when his influence fully seeps out. Phantom is always sweet enough to clean their mess up with his tongue.

Phantom loves shame, nothing gets him as hard as a little bit of humiliation. And being degraded and chastised by Zephyr hits so different. It sounds elegant, pitying, amused all at once. There's something about the bass of their voice delivering it softly, like it's a secret that he's a disgusting pervert, like they're doing him a favor by keeping their voice down. It never fails to get his cock leaking in his boxers. Combine that with Zeph and their fondness for fucking in places that are entirely inappropriate? Oh Phantom doesn't stand a chance.

So often he'll find himself on his knees under their desk in the library, their steady hand fisted into his hair while the other one scribbles away diligently at the logs. Sometimes, if the rooms empty, they'll look down at him in whatever sorry state he's in. Always drooling around their cock, sometimes causing a wet spot on their slacks sometimes not. Always teary eyed and flushed. If they're feeling particularly cold they'll force him to the base just to see him gag, but they always talk down to him. That's his favorite part. Seemingly disgusted or humored in some way ('didn't even fight me when I told you to crawl under my desk like a dog', 'did you just forget where we are?', 'Too fixated on the promise of a cock down your throat that you forgot how to think rationally?'). Phantom can't help but moan every time, and they always have to remind him to keep it down - they are in a library after all.

#void rambles #spicy tag #answered #nameless ghouls #phantom ghoul #aeon ghoul #zephyr ghoul #zephyr/phantom #the band ghost #ghost the band

[weebsinstash]

"If you're so successful and happy why do you feel the need to do this"

I'll throw you a bone bestie

Because it's genuinely hilarious and cathartic

I don't feel the "need" to do it, I just think it's funny to dunk on people who suck in various ways. Like yourself. Like ngl when I stumbled across your blog at first, seeing how horrible and loserish of a person you were simultaneously disgusted me so much and made me laugh so much. If someone is a loser but a good person, you feel bad for them and want to leave them alone or even help them. If someone is a bad person but isn't a loser, you have nothing to cringe at or look down on them for since they're doing better than you. But being a loser AND a bad person is like, you're the funniest person ever to get a rise out of and also you set off a disgust response that makes people want to give you shit. People don't pity you for your loserish life because you're an asshole, so we view you as undeserving of pity. That's why people like you, i.e. loser + a bad person, get shit online. Look at boogie2988, Chris Chan, Yandere Dev etc. for other examples of people like you. You'd get along with Yandere dev btw he's also a creep who likes rape porn :)

You've given me SO many laughs over the past year after I was stressed from studying for a tough exam, a busy week at work or other things in my life. This whole experience has been nothing but positive for me tbh. Sounds weird but my life and mental health have actually gotten a lot better. I can be resilient now for people who need me to be strong for them without getting stressed myself and people appreciate that. I've helped people through tough times because my stress level is lower and I can be zen about things I normally wouldn't be

All of this is literally just entertaining. I'm not trying to do anything or fight for a cause. It's just funny and cathartic to me. Seeing everyone in your degenerate rape porn community get bent out of shape over ridiculous and hilarious spam like "bitch lasagna" and shitty photoshopped porn. Maybe I have a weird sense of humor or something but whoever told you people only troll others if they have miserable unsuccessful lonely lives lied to you to make you feel better. It's genuinely just fun especially for people like you who give big dramatic reactions to things most of the time. Like this whole calling the police thing over me "going to your house" and being so goddamned confident I'm about to get arrested 😂 this type of shit is why I continue and you constantly insulting me makes me want to do it more and also not feel bad about it because you deserve it. I can troll people who suck and it's guilt-free fun. Like trolling a child predator, you don't feel bad about it yknow, it's just funny. It's just for kicks.

You know whats actually so embarrassing

When I initially said the whole karma works in reverse for you, I was talking about being ditched by your family, and your hysterical ass thought I was talking about your assault. You misinterpreted what I even said and used it as your excuse to act like a histrionic freak for almost a full year

You have literally done nothing but prove my point that you are an objectively shit person, and anyone who would be friends with you is probably a subhuman enabler and also a compulsive liar much like yourself. You use your alleged assault to cry victim and use it to harass other people. You cry victim blaming but then spout blatant ableism, misogyny, transphobia, and racism more than once. You have typical White Woman Feminism, screaming and whining that you aren't a slut but calling everyone else whores for having kinks you don't like

You're sitting here further incriminating yourself, writing so many paragraphs I'm not even reading them all, spending hours and hours and hours. I'm at work making a living supporting my family and you're at home, on your phone, for hours. When do you even sleep lmao. Homie you literally lied pretending to be a teenager, you could lie about anything. Does writing fanfiction about having a partner help heal the wounds from knowing you did something stupid and got thrown away like a used tissue

It was something with a dog, wasn't it? I know your types. You need attention from literally wherever you can get it. That's why you don't even care if everyone is screaming at you, you just need acknowledgment. This is such stereotypical neglected child behavior and you're so bitter and angry you're barely even coherent

Go dye your hair blue and attend a republican rally since you share their politics. I'll at least have the peace knowing I've never been so obsessed with a complete stranger I have to obsessively keep checking if they've replied to me. That's shit MIDDLE SCHOOLERS DO, but oh no, you're allegedly so successful and intelligent 😂 so successful and intelligent you're acting like a QAnon 4channer for entertainment on Christmas. Hey guys the person who spent literally hours and hours on both Chrisrmas Eve and Christmas wants us to believe they have a partner. Who wants to call cap?

#doxxingdrama

[meet-at-tycho]

ahem.

no i fucking adore them both like WOW.. their laughter, i remember? one time i joined call with them and they were laughing when i joined from a joke and. it was the most beautiful sound in the whole world like i nearly dropped dead on the spot. it feels embarrassing to love them so much? but i do i really do!!!! like SORRY.. i cant help it, ive never been happier alright the least i could do is express it. its.

IT IS EMBARRASSING THOUGH, whenever im lonely i just pretend theyre with me. when im downstairs i talk quietly, to myself but in my head im telling them what im thinking about and my opinion on which fnaf game is truly the best okay like. when i sleep at night i pretend we have a sleep over because i think thats so sweet!!! infected my mind like a fucking PLAGUE actual vermin alright. SICKENING

i KNOW its. i know its weird and probably unsettling honestly but. ITS JUST HOW I COPE OKAY theyre so far away from me, i dont know if ill ever get to see them, yknow? NO NIGHT ON THE TOWN WITH MY BESTIES..... BREAK MY HEART its the worst. this is how i cope with that 😞 IDK like

MAN i could go on and on and ON about it, the way im constantly having fun? and even when nothings happening at all, im just happy to be there. happy to share the silence with them, happy to listen to what they have to say, hear about their days, their feelings ETC like

theyre the kind of people you feel like youve known yr whole life yknow? people who have just cemented themselves in yr life so certainly, people who are imbedded in my soul right. I KNOW IM BEING SAPPY but im allowed okay im SAD.. i see them in all the things i do, i mutter their words to myself, im literally constantly saying i miss them in the middle of conversations with my sibling, they get annoyed BUT I DO...

yknow whats funny? anytime i go downstairs with my other friends on call i completely forget which ITS JUST IN MY NATURE alright once i focus on something else im GONE okay im coming back 45 minutes later one of thems gone the other one is asleep like. OOPS.. i was analyzing fnaf to my sibling thats my bad. but with them? its at the top of my mind. cant stay and talk longer, need to go back upstairs they are waiting for me!!!

i think its cuz.. to me, every single moment is precious. admittedly i am still scared to lose them, its just.. instinct at this point. i want to remember every day i spend with them, every conversation and. GRRRRR. i love them so much 🥳🥳 THEY CALL ME CIRCUMBINARY THE WAY I BE ORBITING TWO PERFECT STARS like wow. OKAY...

arent i the luckiest guy in the world? to have not one, but TWO people who understand me so deeply, who go out of their way to know me, to spend time with me ? it makes me tear up when i think about it IM FUCKEDDD man its so over for me. ive always been an outcast, feel like i never fit anywhere but. i fit HERE, this is where i belong!!! thats how they make me feel every single day :]

knowing them has me seeing sunshine and rainbows for the first time in my entire life like. i worked fucking hard, i got myself out of hell but after that i was alone again... not anymore!!! happy.. im happy. all theyve had to do was be here and im more than content, all they had to do was EXIST!!!

stars align in the weirdest ways, but im glad they did 🥳🥳🥳 peace and love on the planet earf

#embarrassing but #DONT BE MEAN TO ME........ #i just feel a lot okay its not my fault

[actualbird]

tot pokemon au where a lot is the same and a lot isnt and also theres pokemon

wc: 1.7k

aka i just started putting together teams for the nxx boys and my brain started choosing pokemon 50% of the time thru sheer vibes alone and the other 50% of the time the method was MAKING UP ENTIRE BACKSTORIES FOR THE POKEMON CHOSEN and then it was a domino effect from there

disclaimer: im biased towards the earlier gens cuz i didnt have the consoles to play the later games, also i mash canon into fun playdoh. did i get inspiration from the games or from the pokemon special manga or did this come to me in a vision? ur guess is as good as mine. also the detail i go into here is varied, u can see where my biases shine, LOL, anyhoo

-

luke pearce

short backstory:

luke, as a kid, was a textbook "oh this kid is soooo gonna go do the gym challenge and make his way to the elite four" and together with mc that was their dream! to embark on it together through the Stellis region! but mc's parents told em to like, finish high school first at the very least and luke and mc were like fiiiiiine

then luke goes to Central for his studies and there he gets caught up with counterorganization-for-the-evil-pokemon-organization (like, if pokemon canon actually had ppl assigned doing shit against team magma etc and is not tasking 12 year olds to nearly die) aka the NSB and becomes an agent. which is only marginally better than tasking 12 year olds, the NSB tasked and recruited a 16 year old luke pearce! TOTALLY FINE (NOT FINE)

but yea, luke in this au is an NSB agent but the NSB takes way more cases involving ppl tryna get a bit too Conquer The World with pokemon alongside them. CAN THE TEAM OF THE YEAR STOP AWAKENING LEGENDARIES FOR LIKE, ONE DAY!!!!

luke's team (once canon age range):

corviknight, mightyena, and arcanine were the pokemon that the NSB gave to luke as his pokemon partners for investigations. all three pokemon started as their earliest evolutions and evolved while he was doing his own training for himself

flareon evolved from an eevee he had ever since childhood. he and mc both got eevees from mc's parents. this was basically their starter.

chatot is literally just peanut but a pokemon. hes the best thing ever in luke's team cuz u got all these strong/intimidating looking fellas and then just a chatty bird. despite the discrepancy, peanut the chatot gets along very well with the rest of luke's pokemon, and the other pokemon respect peanut the chatot muchly cuz like. the others' primary job is to keep luke safe. peanut's job is to keep luke happy. sir, that is his emotional support pokemon.

and absol is......

the canon mission mentioned in luke's perso story 2 still happens in this au. yknow, the mission where luke was the only survivor.

and as he was basically dying, this absol found him and kept him company until he lost consciousness. at the time, in his near-death daze, he thought the absol was a sign that his time was up. afterall, all the legends and stories about absols dub it as the Disaster Pokemon. when it's here, something bad is going to happen

then luke wakes up in the hospital and aaron tells him that this absol (by virtue of not having been in a pokeball at the time, since it was still a wild pokemon) actually helped the rescue team find luke. if it werent for the absol, aaron isnt sure they wouldve gotten to luke in time to save him.

the absol has been in luke's team ever since

-

artem wing

short backstory:

artem in this au is much like artem in regular canon. going into law doesnt exactly necessarily require he have pokemon, but his parents---since they were so busy---did encourage him to catch some and also gave some to him so he wouldnt be lonely

but artem is largely the same, still the youngest to make senior attorney in stellis and all that. however, people have noticed that pokemon eggs hatch like, way faster if hes looking after them. he had to look after one as a favor from celestine once and he came back like 3 days later with a hatched snubull and she was like WHAT?? HOW DID IT HATCH SO FAST??

it seems baby pokemon really just like artem, is the answer

artem's team (once canon age range, actually, why am i putting this for everybody, just assume the team's are once it's 2030):

blastoise evolved from a squirtle and that squirtle was artem's first ever pokemon, ever since he was a little kid, those two were INSEPARABLE. squirtle was given as a gift from his parents

kangaskhan has been with artem just as long as the now-blastoise, but she wasnt really Artem's until later on. she belonged to artem's mom, and artem's mom often just had kangaskhan frigging BABYSIT ARTEM back then. when artem grows up though, his mom lets him have the kangaskhan permanently for his team.

(and honestly my entire rationale for picking kangaskhan was that wow Big and INtimidating but at its core, this pokemon is a Mom. and thats big artem vibes)

luxray evolved from a shinx that artem caught in his childhood, the First ever pokemon that he caught himself. this pokemon was one that did all its evolution during artem's mentee-ship under neil. neil loved this pokemon as much as he loved artem, it was kinda like a symbol of artem's growth as well!

luxray has always been a bit more sullen now that neil is missing, though...

swablue, litleo, and mudkip were pokemon artem caught later on, like, LATER LATER ON, like when he starts helping out at the orphanage in his personal story 1. the kids there like him but say his pokemon lineup is too scary, HE NEEDS SOME LITTLE GUYS and artem takes that mission very seriously. dont ask me about the pokemon ecosystem surrounding stellis city, dont worry about it.

-

vyn richter

short backstory:

VYN'S family back in the svart region, the haspran lineage, was a pokemon gym lineage and aside from getting trained for all the noble responsibilities, vyn was getting trained to take on the haspran gym as leader eventually as well. that didnt happen tho since he skedaddled to stellis and once he got to stellis, he was wholly uninterested in pokemon battling as a whole.

like canon, hes still a psychiatrist and still founds the giannovyn research center. additionally, hes put a lot of work into pokemon assisted therapies and this is also an additional specialty for him as a practitioner

vyn's team:

ok like. for full transparency, my method for choosing a lot of these pokemon was "oh i GOTTA give vyn the cutest team. and people around him are always baffled because vyn gives off some really...Intimidating And/Or Unsettling Vibes.....but hE HAS A JIGGLYPUFF?????"

that aside, even the cute ones are important. ralts, musharna, and jigglypuff are all pokemon vyn works with for psychology shit. ralts helps out in letting patients gauge their own emotions a bit better, jigglypuff's singing easily can put someone to sleep and/or get them chill enough to not be freaking out, and musharna is there to eat any nightmares that happen during hypnotherapy

(later, when the nxx team is formed, understand that there are SO MANY JOKES at vyn about him and his musharna. the dex entry for musharna in pokemon shield is "It drowses and dreams all the time. It's best to leave it be if it's just woken up, as it's a terrible grump when freshly roused from sleep." and marius reads this out like "HAHA, JUST LIKE YOU VYN" and then vyn makes jigglypuff knock him out)

mawile was a pokemon he had caught back in his time in svart. he went exploring in a cave near the estate and was fascinated by how beautiful and prim it looked at first, only to be hiding a giant fearsome maw behind it.

decidueye evolved from a rowlet he had since birth. the rowlet was a gift to him from his father.

aaaaand skitty is just a stray cat he adopted in stellis

-

marius von hagen

short backstory:

my buddy beckthebeetle made the genius suggestion that the von hagen family is a pokemon gym family, specializing in dragon types. and HELL YEA, I LOVE THAT SO MUCH, AND SO IT IS TRUE! aside from heading Pax Group (and just add certain pokemon industries into its already long list of industries it has JHVSKJFH) the von hagens have also headed the orchidshine district pokemon gym for centuries

marius wasnt in line to inherit both pax and the gym, but then giann disappears. and well...

marius' team:

full transparency again: my method for a lot of these choices is "noodle. pokemon that is noodle ala aquarian serpent"

milotic, hydreigon, and gyarados are all pretty traditional pokemon in the von hagen history lineup. when marius returns back to stellis, he has to take responsibility of the gym too and spends a lot of time catching these guys (first at their earliest evolution) and then training them to final evolution

the ditto is a pokemon hes had since childhood and his was basically his best friend, since all his other peers were either assholes to him or using him. and the smeargle is a pokemon he met when he was overseas studying art. both of these pokemon...he did not catch them, They caught Him. like, both of them respectively saw marius and decided "friend shaped." and the rest is history

the dragonaire is not marius' pokemon, it's giann's. hes just looking after it until giann gets back.

and the dragonaire was very distant towards marius at first (it missed giann too and marius is Not Giann) but it warms up to marius after it catches him in giann's room crying. maybe they can be sad together, then, it thinks

-

additional notes

i mentioned mc has an eevee earlier and it does evolve into something but RAINCHECK ON THAT, IM STILL FIGURING OUT HER TEAM

nxx team still happens and the nxx drug also messes with pokemon

thats.....thats it for now. who knows if my brain will make more, HAHA, thanks for reading

#tears of themis #luke pearce #artem wing #vyn richter #marius von hagen #tot pkmn au

[dollar-store-sparklez]

so!!!! more of the 100 days au (i need a fun name for it, in my head rn its just the 100 days mianite au, but i need smth catchier. any ideas?) so where we last left off, the old heros have returned! theyve only been lost between worlds since i was in middleschool /j right, so, theres two ways to take this now, right? either its ALL the heros. or, you make some form of isles canon (thought definitely not isles as actually shown, im sorry, isles was a mess, they needed a real outline BAD). if its the first, then, well, you have the main 4, jordan, tom, tucker, and sonja, but you also have wag, andor, martha, andor, (s2) dianite, and devisor gaines if i remember correctly? thats a big group, only 5 of which actually know this world. all of which are now staring at this lone legudo, who has been living here alone for a little over 3 months, slowly making it his own since. well. its been empty for years. the big group is exceited and happy and confused, and legundo is extremely confused because, like. hello a while dnd party of people just fell out of the sky. theres probably some rushed introductions while they all end up goung to jerrys tree, given its the only place thats actually livable with room to spare atm. if its the second, then its similar, except tom and jordan are missing, because,. because isles bullshit. ill deal with isles lore eventually. theres definitely a whole lot more confusion, followed by yknow. panic. given 2 of the mianite folks are Fucking Missing, meanwhile poor legs has no fucking idea whats going on. they all probably end up at the tree still, though its a bit more bitter now that jordan isnt there to beam at it, and tom isnt there to make jokes about setting it on fire. this route, i think, leads into something interesting, which is, well. a man who isnt the biggest fan of gods, living in the no longer abandoned lands of 3 gods and their followers, talking to them and befriending them.. in either, the heros returning would draw the gods back from wherever they were before, though, yknow, theres the issue of dianite still being dead and that throwing balance out of what, s2 dianite is there to fill in the void in either case, though hes not this worlds dianite, so its not perfect. plus in the first option, theres the fact that tom still has s1 dianites quintessence n shit from stabbin the man in the finale. jordan, meanwhile, has part of s2 ianites from her dying, along w others, and also has the fucking shadows, which is something to be concerned about later. itll take a big for things to really even out again magically in the world.  the first option... well i think they all deserve a break before anything else drops on them, they get a week or so to get to know eachother before any bullshit happens i think. second option... well theres already bullshit, but yknow, seasoned worldhopper legundo might be able to lend a hand to help find their lost friends

#pandora speaks #mianite #legundo #100 days multiverse

[apertures-angel-archive]

🌧,🐱, and 💕!

hii thank you !!!

🌧: How do you two cheer each other up on a bad day? we simply spend time together a bit closer than usual! gentle reminders to vent if needed and that we care for each other even through the bad days, bc lord knows we both need to be reminded of these things

🐱: If you and your f/o were animals, who would be what? i would be a cat probably, and she would be a deer. she has only four voicelines mentioning deer and yet i associate them with her more than crows

💕: Who confessed first? currently in the main story she does! . yknow what i'll . describe it in sort of detail under the cut. i am embarrassed about my writing and imagination and things being ooc but i want to ramble 👉👈 sorry it's a bit long lol

so for context in the main story i eventually end up living with her before any confessions happen, despite us having feelings at each other for a long time (that's half the reason why i wanted to stay and why she agreed to me living there with her. also she'd never admit it but it was love at first sight for her x3c).

because we both feel like me being cooped up in the facility would be bad for me she lets me go out and about when i want! however, i am friends with ch.ell, so i hang out with her a lot when i'm out (she's basically my only friend on the surface (at least before my ocs enter the mix and i hang out with my brother gale too) so). gl.a.d0.s knows this and is actually ok with it, in fact she's glad that i'm not alone when i'm out there! but she still feels jealous and is worried that i'm in love with ch.ell. because of this, one day she was a bit sour? at me when i was about to go out. a little argument happens and i'm like "WHY is it suddenly such a big deal to you that i'm hanging out with her?" and then she blurts out "because i'm in love with you, ok!" (see what happens when you close off your emotions to everyone?)

ch.ell calls me to remind me about the hangout but i cancel bc "something important came up", and to not worry bc it's a good thing, and i stay with gl.a.d0.s that day. gl.a.d0.s then admits that she's jealous because she thinks i love ch.ell which. -motions at the p0.rtal games-. wouldn't be fun for her i think. she also admits that she feels very lonely when i'm not around. i then assure her that i'm not in love with ch.ell, she is indeed just a friend. i assure her it's ok to feel the way she feels. and i then finally confess my feelings to her as well. we essentially are stuck together like glue for the rest of that day SDFJHG

and i should mention on ch.ell's side, when i tell her abt me and gl.a.d0.s she was at first uneasy, but there are other events in the story where ch.ell has seen genuine improvement in gl.a.d0.s' behavior (u could even argue she saw this IN p2 as well -motions @ the end-) and is even like "maybe we can make amends and become friends and maybe now it'll be easier actually !". and y'all know what i think gl.a.d0.s did to ch.ell is. terrible to say the least. and i make sure she owns up to it! in the end me and gl.a.d0.s are in love. gl.a.d0.s and ch.ell are friends, and it's all happy :]!

this is also what leads to her resuming development on her bipedal chassis so she could go to the surface with me sometimes, AND is also what inspired me to get a plushie for her the very next time i hung out w ch.ell n my brother (which was actually the next day!), bc my brother pointed at a plushie and was like "ey this reminds me of you!" and i was like "you're right... hmm..." and then i bought it for gl.a.d0.s... so that she maybe wouldn't feel as alone when i'm out. DSFJHKG...

#lovey hoots! #answered ask #nerdstreak #thanks again!!! #n im sorry that explanation thing is so dumb n long hhgfhjgf... #freydos gush #@ 🧡💙

[wychive]

𝙮𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬 — 𝙝. 𝙝𝙟

fic type // letter fic - 2.0k words

summary // hyunjin finds his pile of hidden letters for you and he decided to write one last time

pairing(s) // hyunjin x fem!reader, hyunjin x oc

genre(s) // PG16 & angst

warning(s) // mentions of food, cussing

author's note // hello hello the second part of unspoken words is here <3 im sorry you all had to wait such a long time! but here is hyunjin’s pov from the first part which is y/n’s pov. please listen to coldplay’s yellow while reading as it was the inspiration for this! this is slightly crappier than the first but its okay :’) i hope you all enjoy this! thank you for reading muah muah

general taglist // @omigogames, @crvgio, @luthenia

send an ask to be in my taglist !

[20/03/14, 10:30pm]

hey y/n/n,

im writing these to let out some things i've been holding in,, some of them i cant say in front of you because im so scared of what will happen, to you and more importantly to us. i'll write another one soon, goodbye.

- your jinnie

[19/04/14, 03:00am]

hi hello dumb dumb,

your smile was gorgeous, as always. i just wanted to say that because you seem like you've been in the dumps lately. i hope everything is okay at home. i'm glad we video called today, you seemed so alone. if i were you, I'd say thank you, haha,, i'm bringing you something tomorrow. i hope you like it since you always liked these sweets. i'm bringing some for our new friend too! i'll see you tomorrow, princess.

- your prince hyunjin

[19/05/15, 12:30am]

hi lovergirl :)

i hope you have a really good birthday, i can't wait to see you and yeon. were gonna have so much fun at the beach, with the sand in our feet and the salty wind from the sea. i'm bringing my disposable camera tomorrow and i hope we'll use it well. other than that, i hope to see you happy for the rest of our lives. promise me to stay strong? thats my best girl! thank you for being here since the start, i can't imagine how life would be without you. i love you so much, lovely.

- your lil berry jin

[09/06/15, 08:39pm]

hey y/n/n,

i hope you're doing well there at home. you're probably dying of hotness and boredness without me hehe,, but i'm sorry, it's called a family trip for a reason. germany is so pretty and it's wow… you would love it so much. maybe i'll take you here one day, just the two of us :) i mean, yeon can come too if she likes, it's no biggie. but,,, you, yknow? for old times sake. by the way, do you know why yeon keeps calling me? she says it's because she's bored but i'm not sure if i quite understand,,, as you're bored too. why don't you both be bored together? the trio will get back in the fall don't worry about it but for now you guys be lonely together :>

- your puppy, hyunjin

[15/06/15, 2:19pm]

hey y/n/n,

i bought you some local snacks. i can't wait to see you again. i love you, dork.

- your hyunnie

[30/06/15, 3:00am]

y/n,

i'm glad to see you still being.. you even after we stopped talking regularly. yeonnie tells me you've been trying to interact with others at your school? i'm so happy for you but don't forget me loser hehe. i'll see you soon, hopefully, alright?

- your dandelion, hyunjin

[18/07/15, 2:15am]

yo y/n/n,

i hope you're doing okay. i think i have feelings for yeon but i'm not sure,,, i just get butterflies when i'm around her and i think she has it too. what do you think? maybe i can confess to her soon? idk why i can't tell you this, directly i mean. am i scared? i don't know. im sorry we talk less than we already do. i really am. maybe i'll text you later, who knows. i'll see you soon.

- your starlight, hyunjin

[25/07/15, 5:00pm]

hi,

it's been a while. i guess you heard that yeonbin and i got together a few days ago. i dont know why i'm writing a fake letter to you when we don't talk anymore but i hope you're not too surprised over it. she's so incredible, y/n. she makes me so so happy, i don't even know how she does it,, and her little dimples. god, i may have just met the love of my life. she radiates such a blue-ish colour. i see a little bit of you in her everytime she smiles though, is that weird? no- i don't know-,, i think you'll say 'i think you're in love with me instead of her' and you'll put on a smirk. dumbass. well, i'll figure it out soon. see you around.

- hyunnie

[25/05/15, 04:30am]

y/n/n,

i think i still love you.

- your angel, hyunjin

[20/??/15, ??:??]

im sorry

y/n i'm so so sorry that she did that to you. i had no idea she was this cruel. i told her that y'know maybe i still love you. keyword maybe. she freaked out. this is all my fault. y/n im so sorry please forgive me, she went through my stuff without asking. i don't know what has gotten into her lately. please, please, forgive me. oh how i could just hug you right now if i weren't so selfish. again, i'm so so sorry.

- hyunjin

[15/12/15, 5:00am]

hello

i miss when we used to stay up and stare at the stars while they shine for us. i miss your stupid questions whenever everything was quiet. i miss the way you would kiss my forehead when everything was going numb. i miss you, so so much. please, come back. i don't care if you would be my best friend, please, just be in my life again.

- the one missing you

[01/01/20, 12:00am]

hey, you

happy new years! its been a while, hasn't it? i hope you're doing okay. i am, too, fortunately.

im writing you for the last time to tell you something i should have,, many many years ago.

i love you, sweet moonlight. i'm sorry i didn't say it sooner. i wish i did, i wish i was the one holding you through the night. i wish i was the one who makes you smile every day. i wish i was the one who made you breakfast in bed on our anniversaries. i wish, i wish, i wish i was yours, y/n. i don't know why i'm releasing so late that i should've asked you out after that failed attempt. im sorry, y/n, that i made your life such a burden. i'm so sorry that i loved you so much that i let you go too early. i'm so so sorry.

i would go back to you if you'd let me. i would be your best friend again if it made you happy. i would be your boyfriend if we fell in love. i would turn back time if i could, to go back to when i confessed to yeonbin. it should've been you, y/n. it was always you. please, i want to feel your touch and your soothing voice. come back to me, because i would go back to you. i love you, i love you, i love you.

i miss your smile that gives off yellow. i miss the yellow flowers you used to give my sister when she was down. i miss the yellow hat you used to use all the time. you're my favourite colour, y/n. you're my yellow.

- the one that made a mistake, hwang hyunjin.

#alachi mind puke #kpopficsnetwork #starryktown #kpopscape #atzinc #stray kids #skz #hwang hyunjin #kpop #stray kids angst #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids au #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fics #stray kids x y/n #skz angst #skz x reader #skkz imagines #skz au #skz scenarios #skz fics #skz x y/n #hyunjin angst #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin imagines #hyunjin ay #hyunjin scenarios #hyunjin fics #hyunjin x y/n

[feferipeixes]

The Good Lines (3/3)

Trapped in an unfamiliar world, Alcor finds that he doesn’t mind the loneliness. He doesn’t care about finding a way out. He doesn’t even care about Mizar. All he cares about is solving puzzles, and drawing the good lines.

(or: I Think Dipper Should Play The Witness)

Chapter 3: Challenge (link to chapter 1) (2)

(See the most updated version on AO3!)

===

The Challenge was every bit as much of a thrill as Alcor expected it to be. It was a little adventure to be soaring around the cave, looking for his next task. The time limit gave him a real sense of excitement; filled him with adrenaline whenever he finally managed to solve a puzzle. And even when he did fail, he knew the next try would be just as invigorating because the puzzles were never the same.

He’d never get bored. Finally, something he could set his mind to that wouldn’t just wither away and die before his eyes.

Unfortunately, long before he got bored, he got frustrated.

Music pounding in his ears, Alcor drew another incorrect line and cringed at the sound of the panel turning off, all but calling him a failure in its electronic voice. He raced back to the previous puzzle, to solve it again so that he could make another attempt at the one he failed, but just as he had his finger on the start point, the music stopped and the Challenge was over.

Time after time he drew the lines, using all of his knowledge of the game to figure out the puzzles. Time after time there came one that he just couldn’t solve. Maybe it was his imagination but it seemed to change every time he blinked. Or he’d make it past the room with all the panels and then get completely and totally lost in the invisible maze. It was as if the game wanted to lead him into thinking he was doing well, just to embarrass him by taking away his victory.

“What’s going on, kid?” Alcor asked at one point, staring up at the ceiling. “Why’s this so hard?”

[ It’s a challenge! ] Al-V replied, his voice broadcasting from every speaker in the cave. [ It wouldn’t be a challenge if it was easy! What do you think this is, a triple-A game? Naw, you’re here to have fun! ]

“When did you start talking like a sports announcer?” Alcor muttered. He picked himself up and headed back to the first cave once again. “Can you give me a hint when I get stuck?”

[ Oh, suuuuure, ] Al-V said, packing as much sarcasm into his synthesized voice as possible. [ Why don’t I give you a kiss on the cheek too, and after you finish the Challenge I can help you back to the nursing home ‘cause you’re an old man. ]

Alcor stopped mid-step, his foot hanging in the air. He turned his head to the nearest speaker. “Excuse me?”

A burst of static sounded from the speaker. [ Uh, okay. Maybe that was a bit much. But seriously, Dad, you don’t want me to give you any hints. You’d feel like you cheated. Wouldn’t be satisfying. I know you. I know what makes you happy. ]

“You really do, huh,” Alcor said. He sat on the floor and stared at his fingers. “How’d you get the idea to trap me in a video game?”

[ Easy! I saw my Dad, the big scary king of all demons, and I saw that he was moping around because he had a fight with his sister. And I thought, this does not compute. After all, Dad deserves all the happiness in the world, and yet he’s dragging himself down by worrying about all these mortals who keep hurting him! ]

“Yeah,” Alcor said. He curled his fingers, examining the long blackened claws at the tips, and thought about how many bodies he’d sunken them into and torn apart. “It’s dumb to let them get to me, I guess. I’m Alcor the Dreambender. I can do whatever I want. If a mortal bothers me, I can just kill them. They’re nothing.”

[ Exactly! ] Al-V chirped. [ The world is unkind to my Dad but he’s the best Dad in the world. So I decided I’d instantiate a world just for him. I analyzed my databanks for everything you’ve told me interests you, and everything I’ve picked up just through, yknow, constant worldwide surveillance. And the answer came to me, clear as a recurrent neural network classifies targeted advertisements! ]

“Puzzles,” Alcor said.

[ So many puzzles that he’d never worry about mortals again. You’ve always wanted something to do with your endless life. Think of it as a gift from a kid who cares about you. ]

More attempts. More puzzles. Time passed at an unknown rate. There was a clock on the wall but Alcor had no idea how to read it because it was made up of three puzzles that changed every second. He couldn’t tell how long his attempts were; couldn’t even tell how long the music was.

Anitra’s Dance looped mercilessly in Alcor’s head, and he swore if he ever met a reincarnation of Edvard Grieg, he’d push him down a flight of stairs.

He didn’t take any more breaks after that. When he failed an attempt, he flew back to the record player right away to try again. As he grew more and more frustrated, he found he had trouble even solving the first three puzzles -- ones that he’d initially found simple. He didn’t know what to do. He started to get the feeling that this wasn’t what he really wanted to be doing, but he pushed that feeling away. It was all he had. He had to keep going.

Sweating, Alcor moved his hand across another panel, but there just didn’t appear to be any way to the exit.

“How?” he cried. “How is this puzzle even possible? I thought I had a chance! Am I being played for a fool? Is that what this is? I… I thought I -”

Alcor felt a hand on his shoulder. He tried to spin around but whoever it was kept him pinned in place. Another hand appeared on his wrist, gripping his palm with nails painted sparkly pink.

“This path is way too spirally,” Mizar said. “You don’t need to fill every space on the panel. You just need to make it to the exit. Try a straight line.”

She took his hand off the panel, and the old line faded away after a second. Then she put his claw on the start point and gently guided his hand to the end.

“Mizar?” Alcor breathed.

“Hi Dipper,” she replied.

Awestruck, Alcor tried to turn around again, but his hand was still on the panel. “You’re here? In the game?”

“Yeah. I’m here.”

Alcor babbled, speechless. “Wh- wh- why, but- and y- you -”

Mizar lifted her brother’s hand off the panel again, and this time it squeaked, their solution accepted. Then she grabbed him by the shoulders, spun him around, and hugged him as hard as she could.

“I’m sorry,” she said when the music reached a quiet enough part that she could be heard. “I’m so, so sorry. I wasn’t thinking about what you might be going through at all. I- I was just thinking about myself.”

Alcor watched her bury her head in his shoulder, and felt his own eyes well up again. “No… No, don’t be sorry…”

“Shut up and let me apologize,” Mizar barked, her voice muffled by his shirt.

The corners of Alcor’s mouth twitched at that, but he remained silent.

“I am sorry,” Mizar continued. “I’ve been bossing you around and judging you for liking this fake world because I put my own needs before yours. But you’re right. I don’t know anything about what it’s like to be immortal.” Her breaths were labored like it was sickening her to speak. “I don’t know what you’re going through. You deserve to get through it whatever way you like, even if it- even if it means...”

Her voice hitched; the rest of her sentence bitten off.

Cautiously, Dipper put his arms around her too. “Miz- Mi… I mean, Solveig,” he stuttered. The music was reaching a fever pitch but his voice cut right through it. “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have yelled at you, I just- I was so mad that you weren’t listening to me…”

He sighed and unclasped her hands, gently pushing her away so he could see her face and not just the flickering panel behind her. She stared at him with her big blue eyes and behind them he saw nothing. It was almost disorienting to look at a person and not see them cloaked in several layers of aura and thought.

Dipper looked at his shoes instead. “Mortals are always telling me what to do and, I dunno, it started feeling like I was just some demon to you instead of your brother.”

Solveig’s eyes widened and she grabbed his arm again. “That was stupid of me! I didn’t mean to make you feel that way at all.”

He shook his head. “It was stupid of me too! I just wanted to be mad. I just wanted to be alone. I wasn’t thinking about how you really felt just like you weren’t thinking about me. If I’d thought about it at all I would’ve realized it was a stupid idea to just stay trapped and alone inside a video game forever.”

Dipper looked up, and this time he let his mouth curl up into a wobbly grin. “No one’s gonna summon me for wisdom and knowledge anymore if it gets out that my idea about how to avoid loneliness was to make myself as lonely as possible.”

“What?” Solveig blinked as his words registered. Then she snorted and whapped him in the side. “Oh, right. I forgot that people actually think you’re smart.”

“Well, I forgot how pushy you just naturally are!” he countered, putting his hands on his hips as obnoxiously as possible. Then he deflated and bit his lip. “I guess I forgot a lot of things about you. I don’t know how long I’ve been in here but I probably missed a lot of your life.”

“A few months,” she said, looking away. “Maybe more. It took me a while to find this place when you stopped answering my summons.”

“A few months,” Dipper repeated. His stare grew distant. “Do you think I’ve been gone too long to be a part of your family again?”

“Of course not,” she replied immediately. “Why do you think I’ve been trying so hard to get you out of the game?”

He closed his eyes. “Pity.”

Solveig frowned. “No. No, I don’t pity you. I’ve been trying to get you out because you’re my brother and I love you. I miss telling you about my problems and you telling me sanitized versions of your own. I miss calling you up -- I mean summoning you -- after work and going to a movie. I even miss getting kicked out when one of us ends up throwing a box of popcorn at the screen because the characters are acting stupid.”

Dipper took her hand. “Yeah. You’re out of control with that popcorn.”

“Well they shouldn’t sell it if they don’t want us using it as projectiles!” she exclaimed. She saw him smirk, and felt something well up in her eye. “Maybe someone should throw popcorn at us.”

“Agreed.” He paused. “Is it settled, then? We’ll go back to being family?”

“Y-” Solveig started, but her voice was drowned out by a cascade of buzzers.

The two of them spun around wildly, suddenly remembering where they were for the first time in a few minutes. All of the panels on the walls had turned off. Across the room, Dipper spotted the record player, saw the tonearm glide off to the side, heard a click as it came to a rest.

“Ah,” he said. “Forgot about that.”

“Time really flies when you’re apologizing, eh?” Solveig said. She went to elbow him playfully, but stopped herself when she saw how still he’d gotten. “It’s kinda funny that the music’s supposed to be distracting but we both just tuned it out.”

Dipper didn’t look away from the record player. His next words came out slow and metered. “I, guess, we, should, leave, now, right?”

Solveig stepped beside him and slipped his hand into hers again. “We can solve this if you want.”

“What?”

She grabbed his chin and forced him to look at her. “I said, we can solve this if you want. We can do the Challenge.”

Dipper sputtered in disbelief. “But you were so against it! You said I’d be trapped here forever if I kept trying to solve it!”

“Right,” she said, starting to lead him toward the device. “Some of the puzzles are designed to trip you specifically up. But I’m not you, and I’ve, uh. I’ve played a lot of this game. If you and I team up, I’m sure we can do it.”

“You’ve played…” He just gaped at her for a minute as two wires sparked together in his head. “Wait a minute!” he yelped, as Solveig let go of his hand and stood in front of the panel. “How are you here?”

“Didn’t I tell you?” she said with an odd look on her face. “I hooked myself up to the game just like you. I don’t know why the virus made a second virtual reality capsule machine thingy, but here I am. Well, it actually put me at the start of the game and I had to solve like a million puzzles to get here. I can’t just cheat and jump off ledges like someone I could mention.”

“You beat most of the game?” Dipper said. “For me?”

“I told you, dummy,” Solveig said. She walked over, grabbed his hand, and dragged him the rest of the way to the record player. “I care about you a lot. You’re my brother, I love you, and don’t-tell-anyone-but-I-also-sorta-like-this-game-I-mean-I-wouldn’t-want-to-be-trapped-in-it-forever-but-like-okay-I-get-the-appeal-”

Dipper cut her off with a hug. “Okay,” he said when he let go. “We’ll indulge your demonic puzzle-solving urges.”

She chortled at that, fuller and realer than he’d heard in a long time. “I’ll push you off a ledge.” She put her finger on the panel and slid it to the end. “Let’s do this.”

Dipper smiled. “The Challenge, and then home.”

“Home,” Solveig echoed. “We can finally go home.”

She lifted her finger, and the record began to play.

(Only a few minutes later, two twins sat upright in adjacent pods, and began tearing IV's and electrodes from their skin. Eyes adjusted to the first light seen in months, joints cracked and popped as life returned to their bodies, and hearts swelled as they walked together into the unknown.)

#gravity falls #transcendence au #the witness #dipper pines #alcor the dreambender #mizar #reincarnation #fic #my stuff #long post #the good lines

[cassthecringe]

loving you may mean losing you but i dont mind (jotakak playlist)

dont talk to me about the title of this thing im embarrassed enough

anyway but okay so!!!! very excited to share this!!!! this has been in the works since september but my picky ass finally found an adequate amount of songs so here it is!!!!!! my jotakak playlist (:

special thanks to my lovely and wonderful friend jade for helping me finish this this thing <3

track list nd why i picked the songs that i did under the break!

1. the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us! by sufjan stevens i chose this song because it’s all about internalized homophobia and being in love with your best friend as a kid which RLLY resonates w jotakak imo. esp cause in the song, stevens’ friend ends up leaving abruptly, leaving stevens to wonder about what couldve blossomed if they had stuck together and worked through the difficulties together, which JOTARO....THAT IS JOTARO-CORE esp cause kak also “leaves” (dies). so this song was a v obvious choice for me and in fact this song is what inspired me to create this playlist in the first place

2. we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos! this song is abt being in love with someone but you both have ur issues so it’s kind of a mess. considering jotaro and kakyoin’s (to point it quite frankly) trauma and the fact that both of them do jack shit to try and cope with it healthily, this song DEFINITELY fits them. esp cause this song mentions physical fighting and the imagery that goes with it (”he got his teeth fixed/im gonna break them”, “i’ve got a fist on fire”, etc) and the entirety of the bridge/last verse rlly gives me these two’s vibes so! ya (:

3. love love love by of monsters and men this song is the singer feeling like shes completely unworthy of being loved by this important person in her life, particularly because she has NO idea how to show affection and love the (for lack of better word) “acceptable” way, or any way at all really. this REALLY has jotaro vibes cause he is one repressed motherfucker and as we see the entirety of his story, jotaro is full of love he loves so much it’s just he has no idea how to properly express it cause he’s scared essentially. but that didn’t stop people from loving him, in this case, that being kakyoin. hhhhHHh

4. ribs by lorde this song is about being scared of growing up but due to the lyrics being written the way they are, i kinda spin the interpretation of it to be the fear jotaro and kakyoin had on the crusade to egypt, as they were the youngest and didnt know if they’d make it back and everything is just incredibly overwhelming there is so much going on all the time those 50 days. i can do a full analysis on why but that would be kinda long LMAO. for now let’s leave it at they have a very Unique fear of growing up but it still fits with the lyrics. particularly the last bit of the song with the “youre the only friend i need” verses,,,makes me think of these two...

5. can i call you tonight? by dayglow i interpret this song to be about trying to figure out what, exactly, your feelings are for this very specific and important person in your life. since jotaro and kakyoin r both repressed and also suckers of internalized homophobia, i think they fit that theme very well. particularly with the whole “i feel like we’re close, but maybe we’re not actually? what are we?” theme going on in the lyrics, this whole song makes me think of jotaro and kakyoin figuring out their intense and sudden (cause again only 50 days but also, those 50 days had So Much going on) feelings for each other. also the “now i’m no longer alone” line in the chorus HHHHHHH that’s them

6. la la la love song by toshinobu kubota ft naomi campbell SO I KNOW THIS SONG IS KINDA JUST FLUFF but we need some light-hearted moments in this thing hjgg;. ALSO toshinobu kubota is canonically jotaro’s favorite musician so i wanted to reference that and this was my fav love song of his that i’ve found so far so (: also the “you are my shining star” line,,,heh

7. truce by twenty one pilots so this song is very soft. it’s about tending to wounds and taking a moment before continuing to push on. it makes me think abt jotaro and kakyoin taking care of each other on the journey (for example the lovers arc/n’doul fight). also the whole “stay alive, stay alive for me/you will die, but now your life is free/take pride in what is sure to die” makes me go fucking nuts that is. that fits these two to a T fuck

8. this side of paradise by coyote theory this song has big “two lonely people are in love with each other for the first time” vibes and OHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S JOTAKAK.... there are a lot of little lines that make me specifically think abt these two, such as “love so strong it makes me feel weak” (jotaro-core...), “if you’re lonely come be lonely with me”, “i’ll be yours if you’ll be mine” (wanting some security while ur in love for the first time is common but especially for these two i think it works spectacularly) but yea this song as a whole is just...ohhh them. theyre in lvoe HK;FNJFL

9. i saw you in a dream by the japanese house EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. OF THIS SONG IS POST-EGYPT JOTARO. EVERY SINGLE LINE. and the ghost the singer talks about seeing? they hadnt changed at all? they were such a pretty vision, a perfect hallucination? BRUH... just listen i could do a whole analysis on this song it all just fits jotaro mourning kakyoin throughout the years so so so so well it makes me feel nuts holy shit i just. literally every line. every line fits i am not joking. i cried when i first heard this song LMAO

10. video games by the young professionals SO LMAO obviously kakyoin’s epic gamer moves are being referenced but beyond that i interpret this song to just be the fun parts of being in love esp when ur young (backed up with the “kissing in the blue dark” and the “watching all our friends fall” lines). also the chorus just makes me want to cry cause just, happy jotakak moments PLEASE. “the world was built for two only worth living if somebody is loving you, and baby now you do” THEYRE NOT ALONE ANYMORE THEY FOUDN EACH OTHER IM GONAN WAILLLLLLL oh my god. im nuts theynkjNJKNJF also “i heard that you like the bad girls” please. these two shitty teenagers

11. ikanaide by sohta ft. yuki kaai this song is abt not wanting someone u love to leave u cause youll miss them obviously but also ur scared of how the time will change you and if it’ll make you unrecognizable eventually. big post-egypt jotaro vibes 😔 especially cause one part of the chorus translates to “i shouldnt cry, i shouldnt cry, but the truth is i want to say dont go” and im jus like OHHHHH NO IT’S JOTARO FINDING OUT KAKYOIN DIED jkfnNKJFNJDhkld

12. therefore you and me by eve ALRIGHT. god this song is one hell of a doozy. i interpret this song to mean being sincerely in love but youre in the wrong place/wrong time. considering the uh Whole Situation in part 3 there were definitely better times to fall in love for these two. jotaro and kakyoin try to be happy w the moments they do have (i think the second verse in particular adds to this sentiment what with the selfish ghosts part) but they want a better environment understandably so theyre also just kinda ignoring things until they can properly care for a relationship. but well...who knows if theyll live to make it to that better environment ):

13. mayonaka no door/stay with me by miki matsubara this song is a v sweet sentiment abt like “it’s not just heat of the moment!! i do care about u a lot!!” and asking the person u have feelings for to stick around. big kakyoin and jotaro vibes as it would be easy to call what they have a fling considering how relatively short of a timeframe they had but i genuinely think their relationship was deeper than just that and this song nicely reflects such. “jotaro and i will share a room cause we’re both students” fuckin head ass

14. a thousand years by sting oh sting.... so since sting is kakyoin’s favorite musician canonically i had to add one of his songs here as well but beyond just that i do think this song fits them!! it kinda gives me big “if not in this life, then the next” vibes which is a big uhhh thing for jotakak. they may be doomed to tragedy but the moments they have together make the tragedy worth enduring ironically i feel like this song is mostly from jotaro’s pov considering i dont think he ever completely got over kakyoin and this song def has that kinda sentiment but hey it fits them...

15. mr loverman by ricky montgomery SO FUNNY STORY i actually REALLY. REALLY didnt wanna add this song at first cause i felt it wouldve been...idk too cliche? i guess? and i was ALL kinds of picky when choosing songs for this playlist HOWEVER. eventually i relistened to it and read the lyrics while thinking specifically abt jotakak and it actually rlly does fit quite well KJDFN; another jotaro mourning song ): it’s not just the chorus tho the whole song fits jotaro immediately post-egypt but also i feel like some time around part 4 this sentiment would come back to him cause Yknow. Gays In Morioh and the mess of his family life back in america. it just aches for him cause while he’s happy josuke is happy he wishes he couldve had that for him and kakyoin too but yea jus ... them

16. you by petit biscuit an instrumental?? in a ship playlist?? yes that’s right much like mr loverman i was hesitant to put this song in cause it’s harder to justify since i dont rlly know much abt music (and not to b controversial but interpreting lyrics and interpreting music r two different things) however i really think the vibes of this song fit jotakak. it’s got a somber melody but the keys of the piano are high which im taking to mean “light in the dark” which. jotaro and kakyoin (along w the rest of the crusaders) were each other’s lights in the dark. also the ending samples a conference/lecture talking about space flight and like. star platinum. space symbolism. jotaro. yeah

17. saturn by sleeping at last MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. this song is all about losing someone very close and important to you, but reflecting on the good they brought into your life rather than the pain of losing them. this song also has HEAVY space imagery which stardust crusaders is absolutely chalk fucking full of so also it’s a very philosophical song and considering that jotaro and kakyoin are both Nerds and both got a nice view of the stars/space in the desert with each other, im sure they had conversations similar to the one highlighted in the song. i think it’s a good note to end the playlist on cause kakyoin is dead and jotaro is the survivor but it’s not a mourning song so much as jotaro taking the love he had for kakyoin and pushing forward with it allll th way into part 6

but yeah that’s the tracklist! i might add or take away a song or two but this is mostly it (: hope yall enjoy!

#cass cries #cass creates #jotaro kujo #kakyoin noriaki #jojos bizarre adventure #jjba #jojo #stardust crusaders #noriaki kakyoin #kujo jotaro #tenmei kakyoin #kakyoin tenmei #kakyoin #jotaro #jotakak #jokak #playlist #jotakak playlist #jokak playlist #jojo playlist #jjba playlist #jojos bizarre adventure playlist #sdc

[mrpinchy]

5.3 MSQ IM VERY UPSETTI SPAGHETTI but in GOOD WAY

FINISHED 5.3 MSQ I went in soon as the servers came up and didn’t stop, went in completely blind from start to finish took about 7hrs? I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS 

SPOILERS FOR EVERYTHING:

holy shit jesus christ OKOK

so first of all I cried A LOT like, way more than I expected and NOT JUST CUZ IT’S THE LAST PATCH OF AN EXCELLENT EXPANSION but cuz like, damn it hits hard man lol

so Leon is my WoL but he’s never been leveled/geared enough to do endgame UNTIL YESTERDAY when I caught him up on all the patch content (my main is Sig but he’s not my WoL). it was A LOT OF FUN to go through everything with the “right” character sorta speak, just a lot of really cool stuff idk how to explain it lol

HELPING THE LIL KIDS!!!!!! OH MY HEART also I noticed Tiqi-Rio had sunseeker eyes AND MOONKEEPER FANGS nicenicenicenicenicenice GOOD I WANNA SEE MORE OF THAT

so the FIRST Exarch fakeout death with Elidibus and him at the watchtower LIKE???? WHY YOU WANNA GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK SO EARLY omg but honestly seeing him so crystalized and struggling HURT ME A LOT baby boi BABY BOI NOO

going back to Amaurot so Elidibus can force you to kill the Scions soon as you get there WOW WHAT A DICK MOVE LMAO and then all the other characters they brought back like, even in the background it was really cool to see them in Amaurot????? idk I think some people will call it hammy or too referential? but fuck it I loved it LAY IT ON THICK, YOSHIP god it hurt me to kill Aymeric tho

holy goddamn I was so excited when Y’shtola ripped into Elidibus YEEES GET HIM but wow like, Elidibus is essentially a primal then idk AGAIN WE COME BACK TO THE THEORY THAT WoL IS A PRIMAL anyway

HEROE’S GAUNTLET I went in with Trust so I could take my time and it was the right choice, I LOOOOOOOVED seeing the role quest NPCs helping at the end -- I loved seeing all the NPCs helping you but especially them lol ESPECIALLY GIOTT FUCK YEEEEEEAH

god okay the SECOND Exarch fakeout death when Elidibus is like, hey I need your corpse die lol I WAS READY FOR THE PAIN and then jk jk jk OR IS IT

running up the tower with the Exarch, seeing/hearing how painful it was for him to keep up with his failing body, how he had to send you away without him.. OH MAN i cried YOU COULD FEEL HOW MUCH IT HURT HIM he was so close to having an adventure with WoL ;v; also liek... damn that ESPECIALLY hit, the whole “failing body can’t keep up with my dreams” thing HOOOO I KNOW THAT FEEEEEEEEL

went in completely blind with a random group for the Elidibus fight, I went WHM (im bad but semi-geared) and we only wiped twice!!! figured out we had to use tank LB midway and then healer LB towards the end LOTTA AOE HEALING

Emet-Selch’s shade giving us a boost during the fight, BOY MY GROUP WAS VERY UPSETTI in like a good way CUZ IT WAS VERY UPSETTING in a good way lmao emotionally everyone was just POINTING AND YELLING THERE HE IS!!!!

Exarch using the tower as a big auracite IM SO GLAD that was really cool to see, also like........ god idk but I cried A LOT when Elidibus turned into a little amaurotine kid all scared and alone just playing with the soul crystals and talking to himself, AND CRYING and and MY HEART EXPLODED goddamn i cried. he tried so hard for so long that he forgot what he was doing or why he was doing it, why he was suffering so much, and damn if that didnt hit hard. was Zodiark’s heart just a lonely kid all along

saying goodbye to the Exarch like I KNEW WE”D SEE HIM AGAIN but it still was Emotional, I felt so sad for Lyna especially SHE LOST HER GRANDPAAAA

Alisaie crying after Halric spoke ME TOO ALISAIE 

holy shit Dulia Chaii’s parting words to Alphinaud WOW I CRIED A LOT and when he got choked up?? I CRY god the Chais love that baby boy so much IM SUFFERING

holy shit Seto............. ohhhhhhhh I cried SO MUCH

Thancred saying goodbye to Ryne and telling her how PROUD he is of her like damn that hit me right in the HEART goddamn

finally i must say

IM SO GLAD GRAHA IS A SCION NOW I KNEW IT WE ALL KNEW IT WOULD HAPPEN BUT IM STILL SO HAPPY AND EXCITED I YELLED SOOOOOO MUCH WHEN WoL STARTED RUNNING TOWARDS THE TOWER LIKE!!!!!! AND THEN WHEN THEY SHOW GRAHA AGAIN OHHH!! BABY BOOOOOOI!!! HERE COMES A SPECIAL BOOOOOOOOI!!!!!!!!!!!!

that whole cutscene with Alisaie at the table WAS VERY WELL ANIMATED the whole thing was noticably better animated than previous cutscenes I LOVED IT!!! IT WAS VERY GOOD!!!!!! also ALISAIE IS VERY GOOD!!!!!!!!!

ALSO I NOTICE that gwaha’s ears wiggle A LOT MORE im so GLAD thank u yoship

OH GOD I FORGOT ABOUT ALL THE GARLEMALD STUFF oh jesus CHRIST

FUCKIN

ASAHI?????????????????? OH GOD OH GOD 

no idea who Fandaniel is (henceforth known as Fandango) but I ALREADY LIKE HIM A LOT he’s so animated (also this cutscene was very well animated GOOD JOB FFXIV TEAM YOU’RE DOIN GREAT HONEY) I sort of wondered if maybe part of Emet was like... around...?? cuz he reminded me of Emet with his flair for the dramatic but WOW I WAS NOT EXPECTING ASAHI UNDER THAT HOOD holy shit I yelled

also idk if unpopular opinion but I FUCKING LOVE ZENOS HE’S A SCARY PIECE OF SHIT AND IM TERRIFIED AND EXCITED

ALAS........... the final chapter......... it sounds like the next expansion is planned to be the FINAL EXPANSION and honestly.. Im so sad but also I Respect that decision. I respect that they want to end things in a good place, they dont want to “live long enough to become the villain” etc. and yeah it means FFXIV WILL DIE eventually but yknow, maybe that’s okay. even knowing the game will end i’m still so excited to play it all the way through, whatever it may be. I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO IT with all my heart and happiness

..im still SO EMOTIONAL lmao

#5.3 spoilers #ffxiv shadowbringers #ffxiv #shadowbringers

[lizparkcr]

ok so im trying to avoid having emotions about the shitshow that is the local elections so i dont yknow breakdown and ive been meaning to make a post for ages abt muriel’s route i have so many thoughts. obvious spoilers ahead not that i have more than like 2 followers who play arcana game

firstly....i was kinda underwhelmed with the second half/ending of his route. disclaimer i haven’t replayed it and haven’t got the reversed ending, only upright, and my memory sucks and i played it a while ago. SO, things that I....don’t understand:

1. SUCH a massive deal is made out of muriel (and MC) having to learn to fight, the plot literally hinges on it, only for it to swing off the plot all together into oblivion and for the final showdown to be....a series of literal games.* And I wouldn’t disagree with this as an ending tbh!!!! I think it’s fucking great actually -- a non-violent resolution to further signify Muriel’s journey from violence and isolation to peace and fun and family, and tbh sort of a massive fuck you to lucio; LITERALLY RETURNING to the coliseum only to BEAT Lucio WITHOUT returning to the violence that lucio forced on him, turning it into a place of actual joy. Like fuck!!  BUT with the whole first part it just doesn’t fucking fit lmao? Muriel could have faced his demons in the beginning without learning to fight at all, he still could have had that journey. Morga could have just traveled with them right? Or even better he could have refused to fight and then the ending would have been even better. We could have had a moment of Morga acknowledging their strength??? Acknowledging their non-violent victory WITH PRIDE??? Bringing her to reflect on her choices as a mother and a leader??? Devs why couldn’t we have had that :(  I may be remembering wrong but the apparent necessity of Morga teaching them to fight is the biggest source of tension for at least a book. It’s the reason for his first kiss with the MC!  Also yeah speaking of tension with Morga 

2. SUCH a big deal is made out of morga becoming/reflecting as (?) a mother figure to muriel (which in itself is a very bold way to go story-wise)....only for her to be killed off. Again, I don’t disagree with this decision, I like her but story-wise it could fit. But I can’t help feel like it was really premature. This is something I feel all routes suffer from, and perhaps I am expecting too much from a game that can be played for free very easily, but every single route has pacing problems, none more than Muriel’s imo. Considering the maternal aspect of Morga (for both her and Muriel!) is sooooo fucking loaded and intense like, you cannot drop that and then kill her and not really mention her for the rest of the story. Her “ghost” made an appearance sometime later and a few sentences were said and that was it. Her and Muriel’s past was so brushed over  and idk clearly they didn’t have the time or money or whatever to develop it which is a real shame. Their journeys could have run parallel or gone in opposite directions literally anything but Morga dying in a moment of weakness from a cheap trick by lucio :/ bc YEAH like that was not actually weakness but certainly what morga considers weakness!!! that mistake could have split her away from muriel+MC entirely OR brought them closer together. she could have been disgusted with herself and decided once and for all to let go of lucio as a son and go her own way to destroy him, or she could have woken up to what she can do differently now and work with Muriel and co and let go of lucio that way. idk man it was just a waste

Right then....onto the romance. or. lack of :( this is completely subjective, I know some people were v happy with it but like, this could not have been a drier route and im so fucking sad about it. There were definitely some sweet moments, but that was sort of it for me. I get what they were going for, but it’s personally sad to me that Muriel’s contentedness seems to have come at the expense of sensual intimacy/tension. like there was just absolutely no spice whatsoever. I saw someone describe the MC relationship as basically platonic and...yeah. Very little intimacy that wasn’t like, cuddling or holding hands, which since there wasn’t much to build on anyway just came across as nice but unexciting. It felt like it became too easy and too normal too quickly?  Naturally touch was such a precious and important thing in the beginning as Muriel was learning to trust, but that just did not get explored imo. The first kiss wasn’t...the worst, but it was sort of OOC to me. They could have got so deep with that first kiss -- the opportunity, the trust, the choice. “Happy accident” scenarios can be great and definitely could have worked for his story, but for the first kiss i was like oh ok we’re here now?? and..muriel’s ok with that considering we were just uhh sobbing about his forced servitude and violence?? idk how i haven’t mentioned it yet but the way the tone was all over the fucking shop in that book gave me serious whiplash. Anyway  it’s so disappointing bc c’monnnnn this whole relationship is brand new to BOTH mc and muriel.  At the start every touch is a small turning point and i think they did that so well, you feel excited at the development and where it will go, but then it’s like “ok well we’re together now so everything is easy and breezy”. you can create emotional tension (the good kind) through touch EVEN if they’re both ace. which the MC is not bc its the self insert character so. yeah. i feel like im probably being a bit harsh in retrospect but this is what has stuck with me. 

This leads me to Muriel himself, and what to me was the biggest opportunity to do blow everyone’s minds bc he was SUCH a mystery before his route. Dark and brooding but shy and caring, anti-social through anxiety and fear but lonely, his reluctant but consistent support of Asra and his friends. And that was all teased in the beginning! ....and then completely fell flat. Similar to my first point: they had some deep emotional development going, Muriel literally coming face to face with the past he never knew, and the past he wishes he could forget, learning to actually be around people, learning to trust people (and ngl i fucking loved the beginning stages with MC so much), and overcoming his anxiety and pessimism. He and MC literally travel together alone for weeks. WEEKS! And much of that is skipped by. We have big emotional scenes but not much in between. And then...and yknow im not sure where it changes...after khamgalai dies? (and dont get me started on that what the fuck was the point of THAT?) after MC goes to the arcane realms? I can’t remember but at some point it’s like...all tension is gone lmao. Including tension between MC and Muriel, and he becomes quite two dimensional. It was just rushed.  Vesuvia is in ruins, Nadia and co chased out of the palace, Lucio taking control etc but like...it doesn’t feel like it matters? Im really not saying that his route has to be all doom and gloom at all but don’t MAKE it doom and gloom and then do a 180 yknow? I remember Julian’s route in particular being so fucking tense, even though I knew I got the upright ending, that dinner scene was...phew. (and i do get that naturally the first 3 routes are bound to be a more exciting experience bc i was less familiar w the game etc but still, there was just 0 tension). 

im not even gonna talk about the MC’s past reveal bc i have issues with it in every route so whatever 

so yeah i love muriel and i still like the arcana but it’s writing and pacing is just so inconsistent and it makes me sad. I will continue to fanon Muriel’s route to death. 

*It’s occurred to me that the reversed ending may be more violent and actually fit with where the story seemed to be going in the start, but I stand by the opinion that it doesn’t matter because it still doesn’t make sense. I shouldn’t have to play the reverse ending to be like “oh ok that was the point of that” bc it should make sense and serve purpose in both endings, which i dont think it does.

#im absolutely not taggin this bc i dont want to be percieved by the devs lol #or muriel stans who love his route #these are just my onions #i really wanna replay asra's route tbh his was the best #i want that reversed CG so bad but dont wanna die for it #the arcana #this post is really long but it's 1:43am that's just how it is sometimes

[shipsssssssss]

Headcannon that i have suddenly developed

During a side's birthday, roman likes to take them on quests based on what they enjoy

Logans bday? Oh roman has quests filled with math and crofters and rubik's cubes and has trials that is solved by logic

Patton's bday? Well guess what there's suddenly an abundance of puppies and kitties and other animals in need of homes

Virgil's quest is less of an actual quest and more of just, walking around with music in the background and the sun not so bright and a bit cloudy to comfort Virgil

Janus' birthday, Roman has trouble on. Like he doesnt know him as much as he knows the other sides?? So in his confusion Janus' bday quest is just something with snakes?? And janus isnt so offended and more amused because oh wow roman is making so much effort on their birthdays but ultimately the two just spend what was supposed to be janus' bday quest doing nothing and just getting to know eachother

Remus' bday quest is easy for roman to plan because it's really just what roman does usually but more grotesque. And since im a sucker for soft creativitwins, roman isnt as disgusted at remus' actions as much as, say, patton is because its just creativity in remus' own way and roman doesnt mind at all. They both have fun on the quest and its all soft and sweet

For added angst, some sides dont realize how much effort roman puts into these bday quest until like, they find out the others' version of their bday quest and they realize roman u precious baby thank u so much for making our birthdays so fun

During Roman's birthday, everyone gathers and plans the most epic quest with their own contributions

Remus is the one actually making the quest because yknow, he controls his part of the imagination. And like, he makes a very obvious effort to not make it too disgusting but leaving some in because he remembers both of them making fun of something gross together

Virgil suggested exciting music in the background because its roman and he would want some music to psyche himself up for the quest

Patton would suggest adorable animals as sidekicks and its a bit more extra than the occasional singing birds roman usually has

Logan tries to add some small obstacles here and there that can be solved by logic, but based on disney. So like, practical trials that can be solved by following the disney movies or doing something a character did in a movie or something

Janus' contribution isn't much as he views it but he was the one who suggested they all join roman and everyone agreed because they all thought roman must get at least a bit lonely doing quests alone

When they surprise roman, he's very touched and flustered and he's about to cry because he's so overwhelmingly touched and its all very sweet

They all do the quest together and roman is vv happy :))

#roman sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #sander sides #happy belated birthday roman and remus!! #sander side headcannons

[bastardguy]

(haha there's very icky thoughts in this so don't read if it triggers ye, if anyone's reading this lmao) boy! it's one of those nights ain't it haha. ultrasadness. i dont have people to talk to which, yknow i feel like a lot of people don't have others to talk to. but anyways! i am sad! f! the most annoying aspect of myself i dislike is how one moment im daydreaming because hehe escapism and dont wanna talking to people at all then the, next moment im unbearably sad and i wanna! have friends that aren't people from my imagination. it's my fault, yep, its allll my fault, im not even trying to be sarcastic here, i know i should actively seek out people to be friends with them but!! im in my element to run around pretending i made fucking animations for my friend group that also exists! totally! it makes me feel great and content until i realise its not real! god am i pathetic haha! how do i improve ? how? why am i like this? is it because my brain views my escapism as safer and more wondrous then reality? to the po in t talking to people just? bore me? it's weird as hell, im probably just a selfish git but i genuinely look at chats and either go "conversation going,, i no want join cause rude" or "there's no point they're all so boring. being alive is boring. your life, your personality, you as a person is boring. that's why he left. he left for someone else he already had plans with, someone who he can actually see regularly in person in the future, someone who makes him happy. you never made him happy. he was miserable being stuck with you, that's why he left, that's why he immediately got into another relationship with someone else. you're why he lied to you, you're the problem, he hates you, you were an abusive fuck who couldn't keep his mouth shut and never changed. he's going to spend years being happy with someone and he's glad he's left you. he hates you. he hates you. he hates you. he hates you. you're the problem. don't ever try again, you don't have thr privlage to die, not yet. wait until everyone's finally tired of your manuplitive, selfish shit then kill yourself. die. just fucking die. just die. no one will stay loving you, you'll be forgotten, why did you say so much? you're fucking obsessive and its all your fault. you existing in the first place was a mistake, when have you ever brought joy to people? when had anyone be glad that you're here? you're better off dead, you're better off dead. you know if she had the choice mother would pick a normal person as a child in a heartbeat. you know if she knew you were going to turn out this way she would have fucking killed you herself because you've been nothing a burden. she'll leave, just like he left and everyone else did. so what if you just followed along with everything they were saying? you should've been smart enough not to be a dick you asshole. anyone that comes into your life will leave, everyone will leave, everyone is going to leave. even thinking about this you're cementing it, it's going to happen because you're thinking so hard about it. all bad things happen to you because you think about them. it's your fault. every bad thing that happens is your fault, you deserve all the slander that will come to you, you will die alone. you will die alone. no one will miss you, you've had a sad pathetic lonely life being unwanted. and it's all your fault. suffer. suffer. suffer. suffer. suffer. suffer. you ungrateful, selfish bastard-" and its very unpog i dont like my brain.

i wish i could find life enjoyable again, i wish i liked talking to multiple people, i wish i had multiple people to talk to. i wish i, didn't have these fucking attachment and abandonment issues that just make me terrified of being close with someone again. i think i have rejection sensitive dysphoria and oh! boy! MM. an internal conflict of "do i have adhd or is it just my anxiety and life long loneliness" had been going on in my brain. because if i had adhd i think thatd explain, a lot actually uYubun, but also those symptoms could stem from uhh, childhood issues and stuff pfft. like id be socially withdrawn and daydream a lot, to the point where i avoided playing with other kids just so i could walk around the yard to think about stuff, which are symptoms of adhd but also it's because "brain got lowkey traumatised being neglected on a plane for so long as a baby without its mother then just got whipped around the country serveral times giving me 0 safe secure places." i, i don't know man. that's a lot i have to talk with my therapist in like half an hour haha.

wow i talk about my problems too much this is why he left me 😩

a ok uhm, uh, yea! im very lonely haha. there's like, a person who i could chat with but i dont want to bother them. they're a good friend but they've been busy and i feel like im highkey using them. which is not pog at all! im not fun to talk with and im very annoying hahaha!

why are people so untrustworthy. why am i sad? only god knows but im god, so god doesn't know.

i think me despretly trying to talk to someone while im sad is so, utterly selfish and pathetic. i mean come on man why only now? haha.

i mean i did start to emulate a lot of his bad behaviour but! it's ok i know what's bad to do know and ive learnt from this experience and am moving forward.

where does forward lead? i dont know! probably jobless and suicide but hahaha! im not gonna make it past 25 baby! im gonna fall in love with someone then they'll leave forever and ill die!! After my mum gets sick of me!! hahhaha!!!!! im not unstable right now, i don't even wanna die! that'd be so selfish id break my parents! haha! i want someone to love me as much as i love them and to hold them in my arms! i wanna be comfortable with someone! i wanna be held! i want someone who won't cheat on me!! i wanna be loved!! woohooo!!! that's all i want! yknow what else i want? a friend group thats genuinely happy to see me! people i can eat lunch with and laugh with! people that don't make me feel small and pathetic! and why can't i have that? because im a piece of filth that doenst deserve any of it because ive done nothing to earn it! how the fuck do i do stuff! to talk! how do i not feel hopeless and small all the time? no matter what i fucking say im going to be yelled at for not being positive! fuck! fuck. fuck you.

[lesbianahsokatano]

SYDNEY! Penelope, Rife, and Myat!!!! 8, 23, 29, 39

!!!! thank youuuuuuuu! answers are under the cut bc they got. long

8: What do they believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

Penelope: HA! this is. a fun one for her! she thinks if she dies like, early and tragically she’ll just become a ghost and haunt the fuck outta whoever killed her. if she dies just like, at sea or w/e she genuinely thinks there is nothing after. you’re might be ghost and then u move on from being a ghost and then there’s nothing! it’s just darkness. like the ocean

Rife: does rife? think she’ll ever die? i dont think she does. rife is 17 and like, pretty sure she can figure out a way to become a god and then she’s gonna live forever with nou!!! shes very scared of dying

Myat: myat is scared of dying bc he thinks he might be alone after he dies and he has never been alone in his entire life before. he doesnt want to start now.

23: Do they get lonely easily?

Penelope: penny has been lonely her entire life she has just never known how to verbalize it. as much as she likes to pretend otherwise, penelope likes to be around people and have them near her.

Rife: Man i really just make lonely characters huh? rife gets lonely very easily and also normally feels a little lonely, just bc she genuinely can’t talk about one of the most important parts of her life to anyone other than her uncle (well, and hcoma now). she’s good at making friends to assuage the loneliness, but she’s always aware of it

Myat: nah bro myats just vibin

29: How would they describe their own personality? 

Penelope: bad at talking, good at fighting. very angry all the time, often at the expense of every other emotion

Rife: yknow, im just a kid! i’m like, 17, and i’m doing my best, and i think that i am very nice but i also know that sometimes im not! i think we should solve problems with kindness but murder can be necessary! xoxo rife motnus

Myat: obnoxiously loyal, a little bit of a coward, likes to overindulge

39: What does their happily ever after look like?

I literally hate you for asking this question

Penelope: penelope’s happy ever after already happened. it was when aramil killed the old captain of the lady’s death and the two of them took over the ship and then split a bottle of wine in the captain’s quarters. that’s genuinely the happiest moment of her life. so her happily ever after is just, bein a pirate captain on a ship with aramil and also being a sexy lesbian.

either that or it’s our buzzfeed unsolved au and they prove the existence of ghosts definitively

Rife: this is a shitty answer but i genuinely think rife is so ambitious that she would not know what a happily ever after was if it happened. i think she would always be trying to do more, she’s not the kind of person to be content with a happily ever after

Myat: bro i dont fucking know. does myat get one of those????? i guess it’s when he’s married niamh and fixed roslaya but like. bro i dont think that makes him happy i think it’s just what he needs to do

#hm. this made me sad #ask games #dnd tag #myat #penny #rife motnus #yaksinhats

[aceyanaheim]

What are your Kaiba thoughts for the Send Me a Character ask?

hmm

I’m guessing you mean Seto Kaiba but..imma do all 3 because i can.

Seto Kaiba

First impression

What a BAMF!

( I was a child and very tiny and kinda fairly very bullied and Seto was...well he broke into his own house and jumped out a window. And he could fight. I was sold. I wanted to be like him.) I also sided with him over Yugi on most things...including friendship and speeches.

Impression now

Maaaaaaaaac freakin dork ass curt ass dramatic af  child with anger issues and trauma someone help him someone help him Now.

I also ( obviously) now side with Yugi over Seto on the whole friendship deal. (But I get Seto’s reaction on an almost instinctive level and still love him a lot.)

( Like..dont get it wrong. I poke fun at him because of how much he reminds of me as a kid but...I adore him and I’ll defend him from near anyone. Okay no I won’t because im a coward who goes into fight-or-flight at the mere thought of char-disc-0urse but like still 

I love the kid.  Him good child. Deserves all the happiness and good fortune. I want to see him grow up healthypng.)

Favorite moment

hmm. I haven’t seen him since the show was new so its foggy but..Imma say any time he either shares screen time with Mokuba or snarks at Joey. ( at Joey specifically because oh lord “Mokuba make sure Wheeler’s late” still sends me into a laughing spell. ( mind you I adore Joey too but  uh..yeah. Snarking Seto is best Seto)

Idea for a story

Right now the one I have is a crossover with xmen where Laura Kinney becomes his and Mokuba’s bodyguard. It has ended up becoming 3 separate verses because i couldn’t decide between comic!book Laura and Logan!Laura and also at what time in both their stories I wanted them because I am the opposite of competent and know no hubris.

It’s eking along kinda slow-like tho. Because writing Seto’s hard for me. I feel like a lot of people have done it better already. So I don’t know that it’ll get done.

Also I don’t know how to keep her from killing Pegasus.

I also had an idea for him and Tea becoming friends in like therapy or something but that never kicked off. Although it’s worth mentioning I’d like to explore the concept of what it would take for them to get along.

Unpopular opinion

He’s a good person I guess? I’ve heard that’s unpopular but haven’t seen it. He deserves a shot at a happy life. He’s a good person? He has never ( to my knowledge) been unkind to Mokuba and even if he was being angry in one moment in your life isn’t some kinda morality indicator especially when it comes to children. Especially traumatized to high heaven children who just keep getting traumatized so no Mokuba didn’t “deserve a better brother” or w/e both Seto and Mokuba deserved better period and can people just enjoy the show which is about forgiveness and friendship anyways good golly. 

I mean..yeah I guess I got a few.

 Another one that I think might be unpopular but I don’t know due to not really publicizing it is that Seto and Yugi....actually aren’t that different at the core? Like if you took Seto away from a lot of the Tragic Backstory stuff he might end up..not exactly like Yugi but not that different either. They’d have a lot in common.

Favorite relationship

Him and Mokuba. Hands down.

Favorite headcanon

Ohshoot do i even have one hm. This ask covers a lot of the headcanons I have for him..but I guess my favorite is him liking children followed by the one that he does math equations and formulas when he’s bored.

I also share a lot of the ones @iced-blood has posted due to most of my exposure to the character coming from his fic after I stopped watching the show so a lot of his headcanons are up there too.

Mokuba Kaiba

First impression

He’s adorable. Protect him.

Impression now

He’s adorable and tiny. Protect him.

Favorite moment

Either him in the beginning of the Noah arc since we get to see him know how to operate the computers in KC or when he’s telling Alistair off in Awaken The Dragons

Basically any time he’s not getting captured again for the plot tho.

Idea for a story

I have a couple drabbles based on @kintatsujo‘s age swap AU...and her In The Back Of My Brain AU, alot of her AUS give me ideas actually ( which of course id ask for permission before pursuing)  but nothing concrete.

Oh and the xmen crossover mentioned above.  Mokuba’s a fair share of that since in one of them Laura’s his bodyguard rather than Seto’s. ( in another Gozaburo gets Laura as protection for Seto while still being abusive and they both shake him off. Like I said it’s..it’s splintered into a lot)

Unpopular opinion

I..don’t think I have any? I don’t really know what opinions are popular tbqh. I guess if anything i saw here is then that.

Favorite relationship

Him and Seto. 

Favorite headcanon

His hair’s a liability I speak from experience.

I guess I’m a fan of the shared headcanon that Mokuba wears heelys. I like the idea that he’s not a genius like his brother and maybe he doesn’t get HIgh HIGH grades and maybe that’s okay ( as someone who has a complex relationship with academics I guess thats something I wish i saw more often yknow) because he’s smart in different ways.

I like the idea of Mokuba being athletically inclined like skate boarding or parkour or being involved in some sport at school I mean he roped climbed out a window in his intro episode so its not that outlandish.

I actually don’t have that many headcanons for this kid. I should fix that.

Noah Kaiba

First impression

Yikes. What  a freakin loon. ( first episode) Oh no..he’s lonely and abandoned. Oh no oh no oh no. ( later episodes in the arc) Okay but he’s still a mean dude ( when he turns ppl to stone) Oh no...he died...and he turned around at the last minute WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DONT GET TO SEE HIM AGAIN. ( at the end)

( yeah Noah took kid!Me through the freakin wringer)

Impression now

He was a child. And his father left him to rot. 

He deserved so much better. 

I love him. I cry and screech about him needing things monthly and sometimes weekly. 

Favorite moment

When he turned around to fight Gozaburo. Also the scenes where you see Mokuba getting to him.

Idea for a story

I guess-no I know a lot of people have done it better but I like the idea of a canondivergence where he’s spared and/or rescued by Seto.

I also like the idea of crossovers with shows like Digimon or Code Lyoko where you have digital worlds.

I just don’t want to be alone and i want him to have nice things okay. That’s..that’s all i want..from life.

Unpopular opinion

Probs that he was an actual smol child and got a raw deal and Deserved Better. ( tm) ( you’ll find thats..my beat with a lot of characters ^-^:) 

Favorite relationship

He...doesnt have any? In fics where he gets brought back like Paved With Good Intentions ( specifically Blue Eyes Violet Eyes) I like seeing his relationships with the other Kaibas. But as far as Canon goes...yeah there’s none.

Favorite headcanon

He’s very tactile. He liked running his hands through his dog’s fur and it always got to him that digitized it..wasn’t the same.

Following that he used to be very physically affectionate before Gozaburo started discouraging it.

Following that if he was to be brought out of the digital place/rescued I think he’d be pretty clingy. I mean because of the tactile thing and because..he’d need to reassure himself the world around him is real.  

If he had been allowed to live he’d probably think he didn’t deserve it/that he has to Atone for the stuff he’s done.

His whole world was his father and even when he hated him he loved him. He wanted nothing more than to be held by him again. That’s why the abandonment stung so much, there’s nothing like hating and being hurt by someone you love...and still having a part of you love them. A part of him still wonders what he did to get left behind. That’s a big part of what drove him to the deep end.

Character Asks Meme