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#but when people say I don't care I'm like? you think I'm not a selfish person living?
notdiabolika · 18 hours
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Sakamakis Defend Their S/O From Bullying.
Whatever may have happened, they're here for you. Kind of.
[Português]
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“Oi, chichinashi, where ya think you're going?”
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He’s probably the one who started it, being someone who likes to make fun of others. But he realizes it went too far when others joined and you left the room without saying anything. He'd try to go after you and say sorry.
“Y’know, if it bothers you that much I won't do it again. Only if you're asking for it. I'll take care of whoever tries to go too far with you...”
"I'll take care" translates to "nose punching".
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“Nfu, you make such a kawaii face when you're upset.”
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He's taking advantage of the fact you're vulnerable to slide his arms around you, mess with your hair and tease, most likely trying to distract and make you pay attention to >him<. The only difference from Laito’s usual behavior is that, actually, he takes this more seriously than he's letting on.
Out of nowhere, it appears that one of the people who made fun of you all of a sudden had a super dirty secret released to the public!
“Eh? I wonder who did that… ♪”
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“…”
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Oh. These people don't know who they're messing with. They can feel Kanato’s stare piercing through their souls, but most likely will only whisper something about him being weird. Once given the chance, he'll pull you closer and suck your blood pretty aggressively – he’s incredibly upset.
“How dare they talk like this?! You're my doll. Can't they see it?”
He'll need a lot to calm down. If something like that happens again, you can expect him throwing around your bully’s stuff and screaming a lot.
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“Haa… have you all ran out of better things to do?”
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He's usually so quiet, so when he suddenly opens his eyes and starts defending you, it isn't a surprise to find out everyone goes silent. He wouldn't bring up the subject again, but if you did talk to him about it, he’d smile a bit teasingly.
“What? I simply decided to respond since you weren't doing anything. Don't mistake it for kindness. I'm a vampire after all. If you want to pay me back, maybe give me a sip of your blood.”
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“... Shut up!”
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A straight punch to their face and Subaru is now in detention and/or receiving a scolding from Reiji. He didn't think nor hesitate as soon as everyone started laughing and you were left keeping your head down. Of course, he'll still blatantly deny that he cares about you, but it’s getting clearer.
“Don’t get the wrong idea! They were asking for a punch on their face anyway. I-it’s not about you, so don’t be so damn selfish!”
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“I believe some students are in need of serious reprimand.”
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Normally, he wouldn't care much about bullying, but he will intervene if it's getting more common and out of hand. Reiji has a lot of influence in Ryoutei Academy. He builds his image around being proactive and serious, so if he tells something should stop, it will stop. A lot of people respect or fear him by his attitude alone.
“Don't worry, it won't happen again. But I suppose that if such a pattern repeats itself, we might have some students expelled very soon.”
(shameless redesign from my Instagram not_so_diabolik_lovers)
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bumblingbabooshka · 1 month
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[Tuvok & Janeway: Control, Distance, Duty & Connection.] Sources: St Voyager Transcripts / Mitski 'First Love Late Spring' / Disco Elysium
#web weaving#star trek web weaving#st voyager#Kathryn Janeway#Tuvok#be the change you want to see in the world - make a long post about Tuvok & Janeway's similarities <- angel on my shoulder#I feel like a lot of people see them as 'opposites attract' sort of friends where Janeway is unhinged & Tuvok reigns her in#but in reality I think that while there is that element in there (exacerbated HEAVILY by their delta quad circumstances)#what I see most in their relationship is how they both value loyalty and duty above all and are extremely rigid with themselves#and the people around them. How they both have to maintain distance from others bc of their positions as captain & vulcan#I hate when people dismiss Tuvok as not being remotely interested in Maryana or Noss - it erases an interesting struggle that he and Janewa#both share - their desire to stay loyal to their spouses vs the 70 years of loneliness that that loyalty demands of them#But they BOTH triumph and they BOTH remain loyal (Tuvok until he returns to T'Pel and Janeway until Mark informs her that it's over)#and for both of them it's a little bit insane for them to do that.#Isn't it more interesting that Janeway and Tuvok both have feelings for people other than their spouses but don't give in#to that temptation?#They're both people who live very fastidiously by codes. Either written codes or moral codes - they very rarely if ever do things because#it's what THEY want to do. I'd say they're the least emotion-driven members of the crew and yes I'm including Seven because Seven#has a very...how to describe? It's a blunt and insular selfishness. She does what SHE wants to do and doesn't really care about others.#To me that's emotion-driven. Or...personal desire-driven? Not a bad thing at all but very different from Janeway & Tuvok who#are always more 'this is logical' or 'this is for the crew' rarely do they think 'this is what I want' bc they can't afford to#for different reasons (captain & vulcan)#they both also are in the most 'caretaking' positions on the ship from my POV. Security and Captain - both are directly in charge of#ship and crew safety.#Janeway & Tuvok#star trek voyager#st voy#when I say caretaking I'm NOT saying they're everyone's mom and dad or whatever - I'm saying they're in positions where they always#have to think about the greater good and the crew as a whole and how much danger is acceptable etc etc.#Janeway is always killing herself for the crew but Tuvok is right there beside her
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cho-aaacho · 2 months
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Jealousy isn't really your style, is it?
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Masterlist
Characters : Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Nanami Kento, Fushiguro Megumi, and Choso.
Gojo Satoru
He becomes increasingly silent—too silent until you can't detect his emotion. His appetite vanished as waves of jealousy showered on his mind. You don't even notice that at first, thinking he might be tired from work.
However, as the sun goes down to the horizon and is replaced by the moonlight, his smile fades whenever your eyes meet his. He refrains from calling you endearing nicknames, skips the usual sensual morning kiss, and avoids his favorite cookies. When you suggest playing video games, Gojo simply groans and leaves you alone.
What's happening to him? Did you hurt your sweetheart? No. Until the sky falls, you don't have a heart to hurt your sweetheart.
You can't let the stillness linger; you can't leave everything unresolved. It's so hurtful, to be honest. Why would Gojo be so selfish like this? You need to find out what's going on with your little sweetheart.
That night, Gojo stood in his favorite spot within the apartment, drowning in the beautiful goldfish in the aquarium. Golden and yellow, reflected in his eyes like sunflower petals.
He gently tapped his finger on the aquarium's glass, making the whole atmosphere feel so cold. Gojo seemed unusually relaxed, in contrast to the person he once was. 
"I know I might come off as a boring and annoying man. People often say that, and I usually don't care about it at all because I understand it's not important. But when it comes from you—please... I don't want to hear that."
You do not quite understand what he means, but Gojo appears deeply hurt. His azure eyes, his words, his breath, the cologne he uses this time, the way he gazes at you—something feels off and unplaced.
This is the first time you've seen him so blue and so pained that the warmth in his lovely presence is almost undetectable. Everything is gone.
"Hey, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but it hurts me when you smile at other guys. I want you to be mine, and only mine, and no one else. Please don't do that again, because you're irreplaceable. If I lose you, I can't find another like you."
Geto Suguru 
At first, he doesn't show his jealousy because Geto is the sweetest.
However, there comes a moment when he becomes more affectionate—increased physical touch, frequent kisses, hugs, showering you with praise, texting you almost every hour.
And when he does these things, he always leaves a sarcastic comment like, "I'm a better man, aren't I?" or "Can you see how much I care about you more than anyone else?"
and "I hope you're not blind enough to understand my affection."
also "I know you're not stupid enough to leave me alone. Because I hate being a loner."
It's somewhat annoying because Geto rarely behaves like this. It's simply... so strange, leaving you confused about whether it's a prank by the twins, if something horrible has hit him, or maybe he is too much into reading a weird romantic novel.
That morning, when you are sleeping on his lap, feeling his love, warmth, and kindness, he delicately traces his fingertips across your cheeks, down to your jawline, then meanders to your nose, pinching it gently, leaving a small chuckle before circling back to playfully tease the contour of your lips.
He leaned closer, sealing a gentle kiss on the nose tip and moving before grazing your lips with a small nibble. "Did Satoru ever kiss you like this? I doubt he has done this to you."
Your eyes fluttered open, confusion etching your expression. "What do you mean, Suguru-kun?"
He sighed. "Don't think I haven't noticed, cutie. I may not match Satoru's strength, but I'm not stupid. What were you up to with him last week? You seemed quite charmed with him, didn't you?"
He added. "Should I end both of you, so he can't have you and you can't have him? But I lack the heart to harm you, sweet love. Stop talking with that man. Because I hate sharing my love with someone else."
Nanami Kento
A tough man, he doesn't even realize if jealousy is starting to invade him; perhaps you might label it as denial. 
He puts on a facade that everything is fine, brushing off any concerns by assuming them to be mere imagination or work-induced stress.
No, you didn't cheat or talk with another man. You're always a nice woman to Nanami Kento, and of course, never in your wildest dreams will you hurt your man. 
However, a weird sensation starts to trouble him the next day when his coworkers engage in silly gossip about him and you. 
Whispers float behind him, dripping with a sarcastic tone like, "How could a good woman like her date someone like Nanami-san? He's so boring."
and someone chimes in. "Yeah, I heard she dumped Gojo-san and went with him; why does she think like that?"
From that moment onward, everything feels upside down.
Each day, each time, every time he sees your face, catches your gaze, and hears your voice echoing in his ears, all of these hurt him. 
He feels like he doesn't deserve you and thinks that perhaps you can find another guy, someone special, someplace that would make you safe and happy, someone who could make you feel at home whenever you run to them. 
And that man is not me.
"I realize I might not be as caring as other men, or perhaps I come off as too boring for someone like you. Honestly, I don't wish for your kindness to be shared with anyone else—even a fleeting smile from you stirs a deep ache within me. Maybe it's an obsession, but if you allow me to share my jealousy, I don't want you to meet that guy, Gojo Satoru. For heaven's sake, I fear losing all control and ending up hurting you. I love you." 
Fushiguro Megumi
Honestly, his anger management is the worst. There are scenes when he appears calm, collected, and cute, but, again, it's merely a facade he is creating, especially in your presence. 
When the flames of jealousy shower on Megumi, flirting with his life, everything transforms into a hellish field.
He loses his temper and becomes easily offended whenever Yuuji attempts to engage in conversation with him, roasting everyone in sight. The situation continues until Maki beats him and tells him how annoying he is.
He has a terrible urge to throw punches at everyone, driven by the need to tell them that you belong to him. He needs to make it clear that you're already committed to someone else and that your heart is sealed with Fushiguro Megumi. Only with that man and no one else.
His intention is not just to show his obsession but also to dissuade others from bothering both of you. He longs to compel them to kneel, satisfying his fleeting sense of pride.
It's pretty hilarious because whenever Gojo catches wind of it, he bursts into laughter and playfully teases Megumi all day. Well, it's natural for anyone to have jealousy within them, but... doesn't Megumi take it a bit too far?
You've observed this pattern and tried to convince your dear boyfriend that everything around him is just his imagination. He shouldn't be worrying, and he just hurts himself by treating people like that.
Yet, Megumi is Megumi.
"I don't think I'm overreacting to this. When I'm upset, I express it openly. It's frustrating when people assume I'm obsessed with you—I'm not. I just don't want you to get involved with someone who isn't worth it for you. I fear you'll end up hurt. You can choose me; I can prove not only to you but to everyone that I am the one who truly deserves you."
Choso
Choso isn't typically the jealous type, but when he notices a certain closeness between you and his brothers, everything changes. 
He genuinely cares for his brothers, going to great lengths to ensure their happiness and love. He values the bond you share with his brothers and cherishes the love and affection you have for each other.
However...
It's hard for him to put it into words. Everything is stuck in his throat and sealed inside his head. 
Every time he sees you with his brothers blossoming an indescribable feeling within him, it's a burning sensation that's hard to bear. The flame is starting to burn him alive.
The way you share meals with them or laugh at their jokes—all of these irritate him to the point that they make his heart beat so fast. Choso is aware that these emotions are too complicated; he can't hate his brothers, but the heart has a way of contradicting logic. 
How could God put love in his heart?
He fondly recalls the first snow you experienced together, the gentle embrace of summer against his skin, and the golden glow of spring's sun. 
But he still wonders when he falls in love with you. Maybe since the first time he met you? Or else?
"I find immense joy in sharing my time and days with you. My brothers seem to love you as well. Everything about you is beautiful, and I cherish the moments we share. I fear losing you and our precious time; that's why I act this way when you're with them. I want to be the one you choose."
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wonderwomanfantasy · 10 months
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okay but imagine a jealous Miguel who's been absolutely obsessed with you but was to scared to say anything. One day he comes over to your house to tell you how he feels about you but he notices you're wearing an old hoodie from your ex(who you obviously don't care about because you've been madly in love with mig) and he just goes feral and rips it off you, he says sm nasty possessive shit while he fucks you in full nelson✋ I'm sorry I've just had brain rot over this man and saw your asks abt him
oh baby I'm obsessed. this is nasty so it's going under the cut ^^
Miguel is 100% the type of guy who will refuse to admit he has feelings for you while everyone else knows. Yeah, he brings you coffee almost every morning, it is not to see you smile he just uh… made extra? He likes it when you rely on him, he likes being your hero even if he’s just buying you pads. He’s touchy too, when he passes behind you he puts his hand on your lower back even if he has plenty of room, or wraps his arm around your waist while the two of you are in a crowded place together so he doesn’t lose you. God speaking of crowded places if the two of you are ever in a loud place trying to talk he’ll lean in close so he can hear you speak and if his proximity makes you flustered, all the better.
 Miguel knows deep in his heart that it’s wrong how jealous gets, and realistically if you two were just dating he’d be able to just chill the fuck out but since you aren’t he can’t help but worry that someone else will catch your eye while he’s busy working out how he feels for you and wondering if he’s selfish enough to pull you into his dangerous world like that. The realization that you’re already in too deep makes his stomach churn. Even if you’re not dating you’re easily the person he’s closest to, everyone in the multiverse knows about his weak spot for you… if there's danger you’re already in it, if he really loved you he wouldn’t just keep you at arm's length, he’d cut you out of his life completely.
It’s a surprise when Miguel stops by. You’ve told him a thousand times that your home is open to him anytime but he always at least calls beforehand. Not this time. You can tell right away that something is off, he doesn’t hug you when he comes in and he’s got this weird look on his face like something eating at him but he won’t say what's up.
Miguel really did come over with intentions to tell you that he can’t spend time with you anymore, that it was too risky and too painful… then he sees the goddamn hoodie you’re wearing. And he recognizes it. He knows in that moment that he isn’t going to leave you, he isn’t going to let you go and let some other man have you. You are his, in this universe and in every other. 
“Is that your ex’s?” you’re a little tripped up by the suddenness of the question, and before you can answer it he’s looming over you, one of his clawed fingers hooked in the collar of the garment.
“Are you thinking about him again or what?” Miguel demands of you and really he doesn’t even care to hear the answer. “I could treat you better, why don’t you fill your pretty little head with thoughts of only me?” as if at that moment you could think of anything else. Not with his pretty eyes looking at you like that. Not with his big sharp fangs biting and ripping your clothes off of you. All you can think about is him. 
You’ve never been scared of Miguel, not the way other people were, but at that moment when you see the hungry look in his eyes all you can think is “god he’s going to eat me alive” and it sends a shiver down your spine. 
He carries you like you weigh nothing to him. And honestly, you’ve seen this man bench press a minivan, you probably don’t weigh anything to him. Miguel holds you in front of a mirror and makes you watch as he presses his big dick into you and uses your body like a fleshlight.
“See that? See how good you take me?” he whispers into your ear “You’re mine now, no one else gets to fuck you, no one else gets to hear the sweet noises you make, just me.” he says while bitting your neck
He has your legs over his arms and he really is just bouncing you up and down on his dick, he pushes your head down and makes you watch as he pushes into you for the first time before he pulls your head back to look at yourself in the mirror. 
“Wanted to fuck you like this for so long, now that I’ve got you here I don’t think I’m ever going to stop,”
And he doesn’t stop. Not until a mix of his cum and yours is dripping down his thighs and your legs are twitching. When he finally pulls out he scolds you for not keeping his cum inside of you and pushes the mess back into you with his fingers. 
He asks if you feel empty without him nine inches deep in you (you do) he asks if any other cock could ever make you feel full again (not likely) he asks if you’ll forgive him for being so rough with you, and if you’ll let him do it again.
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hellenhighwater · 3 months
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Hi Hell, I wanted to get your thoughts on something. My friend who has been vegetarian for close to 30 years is thinking about becoming vegan. His main reason is that the pain and suffering of an animal in the large majority of the animal product industry is not worth the enjoyment he gets from cheese, milk, etc. He hypothesizes that most people are not vegan due to lack of education about the industry’s methods, and because eating meat is so normalized. I mostly agree, but something about what he’s saying makes me feel bad. Maybe because I don’t see myself ever becoming vegan, due to how much I love certain foods, but I like to think of myself as an empathetic and moral person. So I think I just feel quite selfish.
He is a very analytical and logical thinker, and says he wants to find more anti-vegan arguments before deciding for sure, but can’t seem to find many. What do you (and your followers) think? I was thinking you aren’t vegan, but I don’t actually know.
This is very much not my lane, but if you want my two cents then for me it comes down to a few things.
One: there is a basic mass of food that any human needs to consume in order to stay alive. That can be plants, it can be animals, it can be animal byproducts. For the a significant proportion of commercially produced food, there is a negative impact. It's hard to quantify; in some cases it is certainly direct, quality of life issues for animals. In other cases it's more broad environmental impact from commercial farming, or quality of life for the human laborers involved in harvesting etc. It's hard to come up with any objective measurement for harm when comparing individual animal suffering vs human quality of life vs large scale environmental issues. There's plenty of information out there on some of the vegan diet staples and how increases in farming things like quinoa have enormously detrimental effects on their native communities, if that's something your friend is not already aware.
Two: There is a degree of this that is just...unavoidable. Things eating other things is the way living creatures survive, and on a systematic level there's not a ton we individually can do to change things--and on a practical level, there's only so much you can afford to spend on food, and organic, cruelty free stuff is more expensive. There is a level of privilege in being able to choose to spend your money in that way that is not always an option for everyone.
I'm not vegan. I'm not vegetarian. I care deeply about animals, and I'm aware of what commercial husbandry looks like--it's pretty terrible. I still eat meat. I try to do so as ethically as I reasonably can.
I don't have an issue with eating other animals. It's a part of nature. To me, I see the obligation more to do our best to try to get meat (or byproducts) that have been raised as well as we can manage. Free range eggs are pretty easy to come by, if you live in the country. Same with locally made cheeses and butters, even farm fresh milk--some places have self-serve milking that allows cows to roam in pastures and then be milked at will. Price and availability will vary by where you are, but it's more and more common; as more and more people start to care about how the people and animals involved in making our food are treated, better options become more available.
It also should be noted that the animals involved in farming are almost universally completely domesticated. There's no alternative for these animals and their progeny except for life in human care. These breeds require human aid for their own health and safety, because we have been breeding them for (in many cases) thousands of years to rely on us and to develop traits that will not aid them in the wild. If everyone decided, tomorrow, to become vegan, then these animals would need to remain in human care for however many thousands of generations it would take to breed them back to the ability to survive without us, or we would have to sterilize them en mass and terminate these breeds through lack of reproduction. It is not an option to just release these farm animals into the wild. Domesticated animals require human care. Some of them, like pigeons, have gone feral when we abandoned them, but they are not like their wild cousins, and it shows.
Because of the selective breeding involved in domestion, most of these animals are producing byproducts--eggs, milk, honey, wool, etc--in quantities that they do not need. While some species have been bred to do that to their own detriment, most heritage breeds are fully capable of producing more than they need of these things, and there can be true symbiosis between these animals and their human caretakers. Some of these things they need to have removed for their own health. It's an ancient bargain--we keep them safe, and warm, and healthy, and protected, and they give us that which they have in abundance. The problem isn't the animal product, it's how it's produced commercially.
So yeah--veganism is one option, but it is, in my opinion, a narrow scope at an issue that is far more nuanced. I think it's equally ethical to aim for a diet that focuses on local, ethical farming practices--for growing crops, for caring for meat animals, for beekeeping, for chickens and sheep and whatever else we need. We've spent longer than any of us will live making these animals part of our world--discarding them and what they can give us is not going to benefit them. We just have to learn how to treat them respectfully.
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battlekidx2 · 3 months
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I want to elaborate even further on why I think Alastor’s breakdown in the finale was (at least in part) motivated by the fact that he has come to care about the people at the hotel. A few people have responded to me saying they don't believe he actually cares or asking me about my opinions on certain counterarguments against the interpretation that he cares and I figured it would be easier to just make one post in response. (this is just meant to expand on my thoughts. You don't have to agree. That's half the fun of media interpretation.)
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The consistent throughline I keep being told is that his breakdown was purely motivated by pride and loss of control and I do think these were massive parts of the breakdown.
Alastor is very aware of the fact that the situation around him is spiraling out of his control. That the notoriety he had cultivated as an unchallengeable overlord is crumbling. His time away allowed the fear he sowed to dull. He keeps coming face to face with beings that rival or surpass his strength. People who wouldn’t dare question him before are banging on his door. His foothold in the world isn’t secure like it once was and that has him reeling.
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Alastor's pride is a driving factor in his actions, but, like I said in my last analysis, I think this is only part of it. I think this breakdown is motivated by the fact that he feels like he’s losing control of himself on top of the situation around him.
I'm going to start with the points/questions I've been asked first then expand on my thoughts after.
The first one I was asked about is the interpretation that Alastor was mocking the very idea that he would sacrifice himself for someone else when he says "Great Alastor, altruist, died for his friends." and I think that would work if it wasn't for the visuals paired with this line.
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He literally looks like THIS when he is speaking the line. This isn’t the face of someone mocking the very idea that he would do this.
It was actually this shot that convinced me there was some truth to the words he was saying because it looks like he’s beginning to have a breakdown over the fact that this is almost exactly what happened.
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The second one that I was asked about was the idea that he was forced to fight and protect Charlie by whoever owns his soul. But if he was forced to fight in this battle due to his contract why not describe it this way when alone? How could he even leave if he was forced to fight and protect the hotel? I doubt there was a caveat that he could leave the fight if he was seriously injured if he was ordered to fight and protect Charlie and the hotel.
I do think he's at the hotel because of whoever owns his soul, but I don't think it's why he fought or why he helped Charlie get Cannibal Town to aid them through his connection to Rosie.
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And the last one that I was asked about was the idea that the demons had to be fighting for love like Carmilla said to Vaggie to defeat the angels and the reason Alastor didn't win was because he was fighting purely for his own interests. Freedom, power, and control.
And, while I think the base idea of this is really interesting (This is a genuinely cool idea!) and could challenge Alastor's more selfish motivations, the show itself doesn't really back this up.
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Charlie is the literal embodiment of fighting to protect those she cares about-- she has the biggest heart out of anyone at the hotel-- and yet she doesn't defeat anyone in this battle.
Before she faces Adam all she uses is a shield to protect herself and the other residents. She apologizes to those she hits, while Vaggie finishes them off. When she does face Adam she doesn't beat him. She gets in a good hit, but she isn't able to finish him off. She would have been killed if Lucifer didn't step in.
Plus, Alastor's shield killed multiple exorcists before Adam destroyed it, so I don't think this means he hasn't grown to care about the residents of the hotel or that there wasn't some part of him that was fighting to protect them.
Now to expand on my own thoughts now that I've answered the questions I've gotten, it's not just the final battle/fallout that brought me to believe he had come to care about the hotel and its residents.
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The show itself seems to want us to think he is starting to grow “accustomed” (In Alastor’s words to Niffty) to the group with little moments that are played straight like when he sends Mimzy (possibly his oldest friend) away, telling her she can stay if she truly wants to try for redemption, but if she just wants to put the hotel in danger then she has to leave.
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When he says he believes in Charlie and wants to mentor her in cannibal town. He even gives her his microphone which is a literal extension of himself to help her.
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When he talks to Niffty (who he is clearly fond of) and admits he finds the group enjoyable to be around. He says he could grow accustomed to them after Niffty says she really likes them almost in agreement with her.
There is no sinister undertone or hint of the usual facade Alastor puts on in these scenes.
Like I said above I don't think that the fact that Alastor has come to care about the residents is the only factor in his breakdown or the only reason he fought in the first place (Alastor's blatant overconfidence in his fight against Adam makes it clear pride was a factor. That overconfidence is why he lost that battle). It's a combination of multiple things (his pride, loss of control, desire for freedom, etc), but I do think it's a valid reading that it was a part of it considering all the information the show has given us.
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This isn't to say I think Alastor is going to melt and be a team player for the hotel from now on. In fact, I think he's going to lash out against this internal change.
Alastor has always put himself first and in the finale he almost died trying to protect this hotel and it's rattled him. It's challenged his entire self-perception. He doesn’t like that it’s being challenged. That he’s losing control of himself on top of the situation around him. So, he doubles down on his initial goals.
I think this internal conflict is fascinating. I wouldn't have written so much about it if I didn't. I genuinely can't wait to see what they do with it in season 2.
If you feel differently feel free to send an ask, message, or respond to this post. I'd love to hear what other people think! Differing views and connections to characters is what makes media so impactful and fun to consume.
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talkbycolor · 4 months
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mushroom oasis headcanons . . . ↷
A/N; im very sensitive about mychael too, oops
Pairing; "Mychael" x GN!Reader
CW; idk alien sex (jk) / this is actually cute, dont worry
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Mychael as your boyfriend.
I just know that he likes to listen to ABBA with you and dance in the mornings when making breakfast or at night before going to sleep.
He purrs at bedtime, especially if you pet his hair.
You can caress his horns, they are softer than they look but also sensitive, be delicate
After a while of relationship, he could no longer avoid the growing guilt he felt and told you about the mushrooms in the forest and the brainwashing he did to you at the beginning.
Definitely identifies with Roar's "Christmas Kids" song.
Be thankful he doesn't have an internet connection or he'd make Deez Nuts cringe jokes.
He is the perfect person for fairycore, you have already begged him to do makeup together, even though he didn't need any of that.
He likes to feel safe, silly and childish with you, having learned to take care of himself since… well, always, it was a drain on the soul. what a relief to his heart to be able to be childish with you, like a break.
He still has certain self-esteem problems, his eyes always dilate when you say nice things about him (or when he's about to jump and attack ((kiss you)))
It's not like Mychael is an uncivilized being, but you've taken the time to teach him several things on dates you've had, things that perhaps he didn't know due to his isolation from society.
You're actually a little scared of what could happen if they discover Mychael's existence, so if you live together it will be in the forest.
Sometimes he is selfish and brainwashes you when he wants more kisses or just feels too needy to let you go out with your friends.
For him there is no such thing as breaking up, he will beg you for answers and ask countless times what the problem is or what you want him to change, as a last resort he would brainwash you so that you stay by his side, even if it's like a shell.
"They were 20 and decided to end their life just like this. They went up to the 21st floor and left without saying "goodbye." I wonder if when they were flying through the air they remembered… ..I once told him if you kill yourself I'm gonna kill myself too!" Basically Mychael not being able to continue with his life alone once he meets MC, if you leave, so does he.
The first time you had sex, bro, Mychael almost had to be chained up, he acted like a spoiled kid when he tried his new favorite candy.
Mychael composes songs for MC, he will even try to get new instruments, new talents, anything to entertain his firefly and have them stay in the forest with him.
Is the kind of old-fashioned sculpted lover, don't doubt that you will look like a 60-year-old couple with 3 chickens and a dog, your wish is his command. If you can't go out to eat at an elegant restaurant, he will get a recipe book to prepare the best dishes and put candles on the table. If you don't have new clothes, he will knit what you like. If you don't like the color of the cabin, he will paint everything as many times as necessary.
Physically? Mychael will never hurt you, using guilt as manipulation is not to his liking either, he loves you too much so he will only wash your brain to have a perfect life by your side, don't worry, you are safe from the world and you will have healing caresses every night , even if it is not today, if it is not tomorrow, you will learn to need it on your own and stay at will.
Mychael is terrified of people, the opinion of the masses made him think of himself as a monster and he can't help but blurt out little comments mocking his own appearance. Being with you makes him forget what he is. Why was he surprised? Because you didn't look away.
His saliva is a little salty and something tells me that he produces goo when he is excited, trust me (delulu)
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silent-stories · 30 days
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𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄
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Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader
Summary: Astarion fears that he is forcing you to spend the rest of your life in darkness.
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Astarion was lying on the bed, next to you, his eyes were staring at an indefinite point on the ceiling and between his eyebrows there were a few more wrinkles, as if he was intensely thinking.
The inn room was comfortable, clean, and scented with lavender. It was nice to finally be able to spend a few days of peace after Cazador's death and sleep in a real bed, next to someone you loved.
You looked at his profile, the curve of his lips, the white curls on the pillow and some falling onto his forehead, the way his chest remained completely still, devoid of a beating heart and air in his lungs.
His ruby ​​eyes looked darker now that they were no longer in daylight and you found yourself thinking that you already missed the way they sparkled when hit by the sun's rays.
You glanced at the window in the room, the curtains were drawn so as not to let in the slightest bit of light, obviously. Ever since Astarion went back to not being able to be in the sunlight, you were always careful about that.
"Is something bothering you, Star?"
You already knew the answer, you knew him, but you didn't want to force any explanation.
"Don't you think you made the wrong choice?" He responded with another question, his voice low.
"What do you mean?"
"Don't you think I am the wrong choice?" He continued speaking without looking at you, his pale hands lying one on his stomach and one on his side. You wanted to grab one, kiss his knuckles and play with his fingers in that way that always made him laugh no matter how hard he tried to hold it back.
You decided against it only because he seemed so deep in his thoughts that a sudden touch would start him. You knew that some types of physical contact were still new to him.
"Star-"
"I feel like I'm forcing you to spend the rest of your life in the dark, hiding."
"You're not forcing me, it was my decision to stay with you."
"This is exactly why I ask you: don't you think you made the wrong decision?"
"You will never be-"
He interrupted you.
"I want you to know that if at any moment you realize that this is not the life you want to live, that you are tired of hiding from the sun, I will understand.
And although I may never be ready to let you go, I will, because you deserve to live. You deserve to walk among people, village festivals, going through the markets, you deserve the sun's rays kissing your skin. And I don't want to deprive you of what you deserve, my love. I can't deprive you of living."
The way he spoke and the sincerity in his voice, devoid of any hint of sarcasm and irony, struck you in a way you couldn't quite place and left you speechless.
He was telling you to leave him for your own good.
"As much as I would like to have you next to me for eternity, I find it a too selfish idea. Even for me." He continued, "So I'm telling you, if one day I won't find you lying in bed next to me, don't feel guilty for running away from someone who was limiting you, who was forcing you into the darkness when you wanted to see the world.
I'll understand it. I won't lie and say I won't spend the rest of my days trying in vain to fill the void you left in me, but that won't change my mind. You deserve to live, my love. Not to hide."
He was saying you could go, even though it would cause him pain. That it was more important to know you were happy with someone else than unhappy with him. You wondered if there was a greater sign of love than this.
"My star."
The way you called him, maybe stirred something in him. He turned his head towards you and his gaze finally met yours, his red eyes were big, sad and full of affection.
“I would rather spend the rest of my life in the darkness with you than in the daylight with someone else.”
He slowly moved his body towards you, his hand gently brushing your hip and so you reached out to trace his features with your fingertips, brushing a curl away from his forehead.
You kept talking.
"The world is still alive when the sun goes down, we can go out and live with it. We can see how the moon reflects on the waves of the sea and on the surface of the lakes, we can walk in the woods that only we know, we can try to count the stars and invent new constellations."
His grip around you became firmer but still extremely gentle as he pushed you closer to his body. You put your arms around him in the same way and with your hand you caressed his back, aware that under the light fabric of his shirt, the scars of his past stood out on his skin.
You remembered the day he told you that it was okay, when you touched them, that they hadn't caused him physical pain in years and that, when he felt the tips of your fingers run gently over them, it was as if they were healing for a second time.
"I don't care what we do, as long as we're together. I'm not interested in running away from you because I don't want anyone else. You won't find my side of the bed empty one day, because that's the only place I want to be. You didn't force me to do anything, Star, it was my decision to be with you. And it will be my decision to stay with you every day to follow."
There was a moment of silence, then his lips curved into a slight smile. Almost invisible, but enough to show the tips of his white canines.
“You have always been so stubborn.” He murmured before leaving a kiss on your forehead. It was light and sweet and made you giggle.
"I think you like that."
"Just a bit."
"Just a bit?" You asked, pretending to be shocked.
"Mh-mh."
"Now don't you try to tell me that-"
When his cold lips met yours, you couldn't finish your sentence. The kiss was sweet, full of meaning and slower than usual.
Because in the end, you had all the time.
Because you weren't planning on leaving anytime soon.
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night-raven-tattler · 4 months
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Love beyond spoken words - part 2
Summary: Everyone has a way of saying "I love you" without using those three words.
Characters: Jamil, Rook, Idia, Sebek × GN!Reader (separate, romantic)
Other parts of the series: Ace, Jack, Azul
Warnings: none
By opening the document, you agree to Mx Tattly's terms of source confidentiality.
-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
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Jamil was going through his personalised version of the stages of grief while stacking away the boxes of expensive fabric Kalim brought from Silk City that he promised to give to Professor Crewel
Without his knowledge, as always
But this time wasn't too bad, since you were there to help him with the boxes
And he quite enjoyed your company, so the opportunist in him simply refused to deny himself of you when you kindly offered to lend him a helping hand
He even offered you one of his hair ties when your hair kept falling on your face
You knew Jamil had a certain possesiveness over his personal belongings, so you couldn't help but feel a bit flustered at the offer
You still accepted the hair tie, however
After your finished putting the boxes away, Grim came into the room looking for you because the Headmage requested your help with some errand
And you didn't get the chance to hand Jamil his hair tie back
Jamil was surprised by how little it bothered him that his hair tie was with you; instead of being upset you took something from him like he expected he'd feel, he was somewhat glad you had something of his with you
...Maybe it was silly, it was just a hair tie after all
Yet, it almost made him feel like he was claiming you in some way-
A thought so embarassing he had to cover his whole face with his hoodie
He was walking in the hallways with Kalim as his Housewarden talked about The Great Seven know what, when Kalim suddenly stopped himself mid-rant and fished something out of his pocket
"I totally forgot! Reader bumped into me today and told me to give this to you!"
It was a small paper bag with a snake doodled on it
Jamil snatched it from Kalim, not wanting him to hold something from you any longer, and opened the bag
Inside he found a little note and two hair ties: the one he gave you, and another one that had a small charm with your favorite symbol on it
"I know you don't like when people use your things, so I wanted to give it back. I also gave you one of mine so take care of it!"
He didn't understand the logic behind you giving him your own hair tie, but he took the bag from you and hid it carefully in his pocket, where he occasionally let his hands rest throughout the day
Jamil was very curious about your little offering, so he asked you about it over text
"I wanted to offer it to you as an apology for holding onto your stuff for too long so you won't be mad at me."
Your goody-two-shoes silly logic made him chuckle
As he was about to playfully scold you for your thinking, he saw another chat bubble coming from you that made him drop his phone
"...besides, is it really that bad that I wanted you to have something of mine too?"
Cheeks burning with fluster, he texted you a quick goodnight before he put his phone onto his nightstand, face down so not even the inanimate object could see him like this
Jamil struggled with the idea of you wanting to leave your mark on him, the same selfish idea he carried in his heart
Yet, he didn't mind either of your selfishness
That's why you found Jamil's hair tie under your desk first thing in the morning, a small note attached to it
"If I will have to carry something that belongs to you with me, it wouldn't be fair if you didn't do the same."
『••✎••』
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You were enjoying your break outside when you heard a sharp object hit the tree you were leaning against, and based on the piece of paper attached to it, someone special wanted to tell you something
"My love, a whisper
My arrow, a listener
A most blessed messenger
It'll seek your heart to alter
For your blush I'm after."
Your degree in the language of Rook Hunt told you several things: 1. He was on a mission to live up to his name and hunt for your heart... or something
And 2. He really liked his "arrow of love" metaphors
Rook also was likely very amused by how on the nose he was being by sending you love poems via arrow aimed at your surroundings
It happened often enough for you to become unable to differenciate between the quickening pace of your heart from the spook and the one from knowing your boyfriend wanted to remind you of his love for you
Rook had some questionable ways of making your heart skip a beat, and it was borderline annoying how good he was at getting what he wanted
Something about the message itself was a bit off to you
Wasn't counterproductive for a hunter to let its prey know that he was after it?
You never knew what Rook was about to do next, and your heartbeat quickened once again with anticipation for his next move
...which happened soon enough
If the Headmage knew of the arrow currently stuck to your door and damaging the school property, you'd be in trouble
You just wanted to rest peacefully after your classes, but it seemed like Rook had other plans
"My eyes give gentle kisses to your heart
I want to read you, I want to learn you
The world in your chest, your own flow of art
Painted in the loveliest of hues."
You looked around, suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling of being watched
At this point you were convinced he was toying with you, like a cat after it caught a mouse
But Rook had plans other than to harm you...
He enjoyed the chase, maybe a bit at the expense of your heart, which would jump out of your chest at every over the top declaration of love
You could think of only one way to somewhat get back at him
The vice housewarden was scribbling in his notebook at his desk when he heard footsteps nearing his room, followed by a knock at the door
He smiled and opened the door, revealing your flustered self, fidgeting with a piece of paper in your hands
"Roses are red
You look very merry
I'm not good at writing poems
So just kiss me already."
Rook's eyes widened for a few seconds before he burst into a delighter laughter as he wrapped his arms around you
You thought his over the top affection was what affected you the most, but you were so wrong
All along, it was the little things that made your heart explode
His laughter and the beating of your heart were the only melody echoing in your ears, while your face was being admired by Rook's lovesick eyes
"As you wish, mon amour."
『••✎••』
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When you and Idia started dating, you knew he was a peculiar guy
He texted you "good morning" at 5 P.M., he liked to tease you about your grades and wishing the school system was digitalized so he could hack into the school and modify your grades, and he liked gifting you small, cute robots that he built during his sleepless nights
You were dedicated to peel off every layer of your angsty, dramatic, onion of a lover and try to understand his ways of showing he cares about you
Unfortunately, the first obstacle you had to face was his way of texting you
Idia was both a genius and a smartass: he liked sending you secret messages through emojis, but he'd never give you any hint to help you decode them
You rolled your eyes as his favorite combo of emojis popped onto your screen through the notification of your messaging app
"➡️👤🛠️👆💙➡️🤪"
You suspected he either liked testing your abilities to decypher his code, or he was to afraid to outright say what he felt
It's not like Idia was shy in his affections, as peculiar as they were
It was more like he was... hesitant
Afraid, even
"I will take that as a compliment"
You watched as the chat bubble appeared on your screen, carrying Idia's reply
"whehehe did you really look at a code with unknown meaning and assumed it was positive? lmaooooo"
Both of you knew he wouldn't do that
Not because he wasn't capable of it, but because Ortho would threaten to scratch up his P.E. gear again
"Not my fault you sent me code instead of telling me how pretty we both know you think I am"
"oooooo someone's confident 💘💘💘💘"
Well, at least that one was easy enough to decypher
The code Idia sent to you always came out of nowhere, like a sudden stream of thoughts that he couldn't keep to himself
It was sweet, really, and it wasn't like you disliked his little codes
Being a gamer at heart, Idia loved games, and they were an important part of him
If Idia needed some sort of puzzle to express himself, you decided to play along
You were determined to wait until Idia became able to tell you outright how he felt
Maybe one day
That's what Idia also told himself as he stared at the sentence he kept typing and deleting over and over in your conversation
"you make my heart go wild"
Maybe one day...
『••✎••』
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"And, because of General Zephyrus, royal green has become a color in Briar Valley that represents sentiments of love and affection for your beloved. It was historically used in clothing during duels by the partner that was not participating..."
You had no idea what you did to receive a special history lesson from Professor Zigvolt himself, but you loved Sebek so you listened to him attentively
It was one of the rare occasions in which he was not talking about Malleus, and it was almost cute to see how worked up he got for topics outside of his guard duty
Not like he wasn't always cute
"Are you even listening, human?!"
...You were not stupid enough to admit you kind of spaced out a little
"Yeah, you were talking about, uh... Something about green clothes?"
Sebek raised his eyebrow and watched you suspiciously, while you were trying not to avoid his piercing gaze and tell on yourself
"... Well, yes. It was a tradition for unmarried partners to express their love through green accessories, such as scarves and..."
Even if he seemed upset on the surface, Sebek was more than eager to share part of his culture with you
The way he'd get so animated about his homeland, his liege, his passions...
You could watch him all day
Unfortunately, the bell indicating the end of your break had the both of you part ways
Before Sebek walked away, he reminded you of the equestrian club's upcoming show jumping competition against Royal Sword Academy
And before he could shily request your presence, you told him you'll be there, and sent his blushy self back to his classes
You didn't want to just be there and attend, however: you wanted to show your appreciation for Sebek
And you remembered his little rant about green accessories as showcases of love in Briar Valley
Which brought you to Sam's the next day, where you bumped into Lilia
Lucky for you, since you couldn't remember which shade of green was the one Sebek was talking about...
Your eyes fell upon a light green scarf, resembling the trademark Diasomnia green, and asked Lilia if this color was good to wear
Lilia's eyes widened before his face twisted into a mischievous grin before he agreed with your choice
So you wrapped it around your wrist the day of the competition and made sure it was as easy to spot as possible
Sebek was warming up with his horse when he spotted you in the growing crowd...
...And you watched him as he almost fell off his horse when he saw the scarf wrapped around the hand you were waving at him with
You watched how he debated between going to you and resuming his warmup for what felt like an eternity, but the beginning of the competition was announced so he settled on talking to you later
On his first break, he marched right to you, red as a tomato and vaguely resembling a broken traffic light
"HUMAN! I can't believe you would do this in such a public setting without telling me first! In Briar Valley it's custom for the knight to wrap the scarf around their desired partner after the duel to signal their engagement! Was my lecture not clear enough?!"
You were used to Sebek getting randomly agitated about stuff but-
-Wait.
"ENGAGEMENT?!"
Sebek turned even redder, something you thought was impossible
"YES?! Light green is a sign of engagement!"
You head was full of questions upon questions
Did you just publicly more or less propose to Sebek?
And he was mad because you didn't tell him beforehand, not because of the accidentally proposal itself?!
Now you wanted a horse to fall off of
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kneelingshadowsalome · 10 months
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I Never Missed You 2/3 (Bodyguard!Ghost x F!Reader)
Word count: 7.3 k
Tags/warnings: 18+ only. Romance, eventual smut, fluff, light angst, banter, pining, flirting, minor injuries, major character death, HFN ending. Lady/Knight dynamic. Unequal pairing trope. Bodyguard AU. Reader is a rich bitch (how else could she afford a PPO?)
Summary: You hire a bodyguard to protect you and hunt down the one who's been sent to take your life. This man was your lawyer's first recommendation, and you never even looked through his file because you had better things to do. But it soon turns out that this man – this Simon Riley – is very talented... Talented in driving you crazy.
A/N: A three part fic based on this request. Smutty smut ahead in this chapter. Brace yourselves for impact.
Part 1
You have to admit that you look dashing tonight. 
And not because you want to turn people's heads at the party… But because you want him to look at you like you're the most forbidden snack he will never have.
It's selfish and petty, and you're just seeking attention. But at least you have the balls to admit it: you want Simon Riley to drool after you. You want this man on his knees. And nothing else has worked except that bra.
So you turn to the world's oldest weapon. A woman's weapon. Seduction.
"I'd suggest you keep a low profile until we're done."
He looks at you through the mirror while you finish your hair. Uses the word we instead of I. It makes your heart ache… And you take even that lecturing comment as a compliment. So he does think you look nice, or at least nice enough to stand out. You read into every look, every little tone of voice he gives you.
"I thought we were supposed to lure him in," you say while you neaten your necklace. Of course you look nice. You have done everything you can to look ravishing tonight: a deep-cut, thigh-revealing dress, cat eye makeup, red lipstick...
"Yeah but not like this."
"I'm not locking myself inside the house because of this," you announce pointedly. "I'm not afraid to live my life." 
You turn and look him up and down, give him a little tilt of the head. "Don't you have anything else to wear?"
He doesn't shrink, doesn't bat an eyelash. Just looks down on you from that ivory tower of masculine prowess and makes you feel like a fool for being so dolled up.
"There's a difference between courage and foolhardiness," he states, not falling for your attempts to make him feel small in your world. You suspect there is so much more to this man, but you don't care to know about the circumstances he grew up in, the situations that gave him that broken nose and lip. You don't want to know about his broken soul.
Or perhaps you do...
"I suppose you know everything about that," you say while looking straight at the uneven scar on his jugular.
"I do."
"Tragic past?"
"You could say that."
You feel even more silly, standing before him in all your glory, pearls in your ears and silver around your neck. You pay this man for his services; he's supposed to protect you. But something in his eyes told you from the start that there lies an abyss inside this man. And you didn't pay for that: a peek inside his heart. But a door is open a creak now, and what's inside is pure darkness.
"Well, whatever it is, I'm sorry you had to deal with that."
Your cultured attempt to dance around his chasm makes those brown pools melt. Finally, he melts. But not to compassion, or mercy, or anything that would make you believe that you two understand each other. 
He looks at you like you're a stranger from another planet. He's intrigued but doesn't quite understand how a creature like yourself has come to be. You're not only a child in his eyes but a coward as well for not daring to open that door to hell.
"What do you think," you hurry to change the subject. "Will I do tonight?"
He’s always so hyper-vigilant, his stare fixed on everything else but you. It feels childish, to be jealous of his attention when all he’s trying to do is protect you. 
But now… Now that alert darkness bores straight into you.
"You look good in everything, ma'am."
A breeze of arctic wind goes through your scalp, and a fainting warmth settles in your belly.
You tiptoed your way to the fridge yesterday morning, before official breakfast, in your knickers and an old band merch from your youth - the one you still slept in sometimes because it was far more comfier than your silk pajamas. He walked in fully dressed and mighty while you were sneaking back upstairs with a glass of apple juice. The humiliation was overwhelming, especially when he dared to look you up and down in your state of underdress.
"Goodness… Sorry."
It should’ve been he who was supposed to say those words. But you felt like an intruder in your own house. It was a dangerous slip: to look so homely, with no brush stroke gone through your hair, with no toner on your skin. With no makeup and standing there before him in all your…you.
"No harm done."
He had never looked at you like that, and you swore right then and there that you would only descend those stairs with your full battledress from now on.
"Even in an old t-shirt…?" You ask with a tight voice. Desperate. Longing…
"Especially then."
Simon Riley strips you from your weapons and charades in a second. Your tight, seductive smile slowly falls off your face, and from behind it, a fragile, naked hope arises to gape at him. He clears his throat as if he just offered you an entire bowl full of ice cream when he was supposed to give you only a little scoop.
"I'm gonna go take a shower," he says, calm and adamant, like a statue you would go to see at a gallery.
"I'm afraid we should be going already."
"Takes 5 minutes."
You purse your lips, and he's on his way to the bathroom before you can even give him your nod. The guy is used to military showers, then, and perhaps it's for the better that he puts on at least some effort.
When he comes out, you're sitting in the hallway, and he's only wearing a towel. It's the one you gave him when he arrived, the softest you could find from your closets. You remember how the first odd thought you had upon seeing this man is that he probably isn't used to softness.
And now you see why.
You can see the prominent veins and the sketchy forearm ink, his muscles are magnificent to the point of unholy, he has a delicious, thin layer of fat on top of his belly, and the eyelashes aren't the only breath of hair that's pale on this man… But he looks like he has gone through an inferno.
His back is full of scars, and half of his shoulder looks like it has been dipped into a deep fryer. You catch a hollow dent between his ribs, and there's more, but he walks to his room before you see the rest of it.
The taxi drive to the party is filled with silence as you try to digest what you just saw. You want to call your lawyer and demand him to tell you where the hell did he find this man and who Simon Riley truly is. Who exactly does he work for when he's not taking bodyguard jobs? 
But the first thing you do when you arrive at the large party held in a small palace is to go to the punch bowl and down a glassful in one go.
He's on your heels the whole night, eyes everyone with a hawk stare, and does his job perfectly. He grabs your arm occasionally and whispers in your ear if someone seems suspicious. After one and a half hours, he comes to you and practically demands that you two leave. Normally, you would start an argument, but not tonight.
You kind of want to go back home, too. The people at the party seem tedious, and his scars have reminded you that even if you live in a world where violence is not the norm, it doesn't mean that other worlds don't exist. Otherworlds - where people get shot, stabbed, and blown apart. Whipped and cut and deep-fried. You're in danger, and it took his suffering to see that.
You have been so stupid that you just about wish someone would slap you.
Simon has been so patient with you that you nearly apologize on the ride back home. You want to beg his forgiveness and confess you have been a spoiled little idiot.
But again, that's not an easy thing to do. You turn to look at your forbearing bodyguard, ever silent in the taxi, and turn your voice to silk.
"You really should smile more," you suggest. He doesn't answer, just looks out your window as if there were perils there too. You suddenly realize anyone could shoot through the glass or the door at any given time. With a proper caliber, a bullet could pierce that window and coat his black shirt with the insides of your skull.
No. No. I'm not ducking my head.
There's no one there.
"Have you ever tried?"
You turn to humor and flirt to drive those intrusive thoughts from your head. He doesn't yet know that you're afraid, that you have been afraid this whole time. You should have bought that armored car.
"Am I your most annoying client ever…?" There's a smile on your lips, a little pardon for being so infuriating. His eyes drop there, then lift back up to your eyes with surprising seriousness.
"You're my first client ever."
Well… This was news.
"Oh. Why did you accept this job?"
His stare sails away from you and back to the London night. You stifle the urge to grab his hand, a fistful of his shirt, to draw his attention back to you. Every time he's around, you feel safe; every time he looks at you, everything else ceases to exist. 
You want him so badly you could cry.
"They don't teach you manners at the SAS…?"
"No. They teach us how to kill."
You scoff and turn to look through the window, too. 
"Brute."
"You're entitled to your opinion, ma'am."
When you reach your house, he uses that term again. You're 110 % sure he's only trying to annoy you. 
"Good night, ma'am."
"Stop it," you nearly slam your purse on the table in the hallway.
"What?"
"The ma'am thing…!"
You sound like a wife who's looking for an argument after putting on a charade all evening. When the door to your home closes, volcanoes erupt, and bombs drop, your husband-like bodyguard gets the blunt of your fear and frustration.
But how do you argue with someone who never argues back? He's calm like the Pacific during a stormless season, always, always gets calmer when you're going berserk. He walks to the armchair in your living room like he owns the whole goddamn place and sits down with a sigh. 
And there is a smile playing on his lips.
"What should I call you then?"
You look at him, dumbstruck, on that chair, spreading his legs like there's no tomorrow, arms comfortably on the armrests, and mouth drawn into a genuine, peaceful, thoroughly naughty smile.
"Oh, now you're smiling," you huff. The unbelievable audacity of this man… "Some ideas on what to call me popped into your head?"
"Verily."
"Go on then."
"Nah. You should go to sleep."
"I'm not going until you tell me."
You cross your arms over your chest to underline that ruling. His smile only widens. He looks wickedly delicious in that seat with his legs spread, and the chair doesn't swallow him like it swallows you. Actually, his shoulders are wider than the back panel of this enormous chair.
"Well," he begins, "’princess' came up first."
You try to catch what he just said through the stupor of wanting to climb on that wide lap.
"Truly? How original."
"Or spoiled brat."
You stop breathing for a second, then reel straight toward a spiral of–
"How dare you?"
You notice his eyes dropping to your heaving breasts again. This man is so different from a dinner-offering, cunning man in a suit. He has no pretenses whatsoever. He looks at you with that little smile, eyes burning, legs drifting apart even more, probably his cock stirring from how you are trying to chastise him. If you had pearls around your neck, you would clutch them. Or throw them at him.
"You son of a–"
"Pretty."
His next choice renders you speechless; it cuts through your insult before it even flees your mouth. You gape at him, jaw open, breathing and cheeks burning, pussy throbbing - soaked so thoroughly now that you feel a tiny droplet cascade down your thigh.
"Yeah. That's better," the man says as if he's also blessed with a Superman stare, knowing you're seconds away from drenched. "Better than brat or princess, anyway."
The darkness conceals most of him as he settles inside that massive chair he dwarfs. You are falling, or at least that's what it feels like. A tumble, a slip inside his Styx. But there's no bottom, and the water is warm ink, despite the fact that he's so blanched.
"Pretty…?" You whisper into that water, breathe onto the surface of his depths. The darkness answers immediately.
"Very."
Your swallow is a wet, nervous roll inside your throat when you sink into that river of lust and smoke. 
You take your jewels off first, because you know he doesn't care for them. Money's not his chief interest, even if he's being paid. And fat, at that. But he's not here for riches, he’s not here for the jewels – or that's what you desperately wish.
The necklace and pearls are gone soon, tucked away on the table with your trembling digits, and he's sitting there like a statue.
You have no trouble with this dress: the zipper seems to cascade down on its own as you reach behind your back. He's motionless as you slip out of the straps that keep the dark velvet up. You feel like you're the Styx: but the darkness of the river pools at your feet as you let go of the gown, let go of everything and continue your freefall.
He doesn't move, doesn't give evidence that he's even breathing; he just sits there like a long-forgotten king.
The panic snares you with a drool-wet throat: you salivate not because of him but because of your nerves. 
Are you… harassing him?
Does he want this…?
At least he thinks you're pretty – and you could laugh out loud; your thoughts are vain and petty, even when you're baring yourself before him in more ways than just one. Your breaths are audible distress inside that darkness, and he's still: everything's still.
But he moves when you reach for your bra.
It's just a hand that soars through the darkness, an involuntary reach for support and gathering of composure as his fingers find his jaw. They swipe across imagined stubble before he leans his head on that hand, just an ounce's worth of weight placed on his thumb and pointer as if he's simply in his thoughts. But the hawk stare is fixed on the lace covering your breasts as it falls on the floor too.
You hear his breaths now. Quicker on the inhale, heavy on the exhale. Your thumbs slide under the hem of the last piece of your veil, something you got from the store when you were feeling down. Now the underwear makes you feel better than ever - who would’ve guessed it's the moment you slither it off? Slowly, too: you’re being a tease, hip bones giving a two-second dance for him as he continues to watch you strip before him like the queen of the night.
You breathe in sync now, and your nipples perk up – he hasn't even touched you yet and you're more aroused than ever with a man.
Not a word spoken, and you fear you’re being delusional – if you've just imagined the heat between you two, but then those legs flare a hair's breadth more. His voice is the softest whip as it crackles through the void.
"Yeah... You're pretty. Now what?"
You breathe in gusts now. It's exhilaration, damnation.
"Jesus Christ, Simon."
The chair gives a creak as he rises, like an ancient shadow. Intimidating – intense, always, always, and you've been trying to coat him with soft towels and feed him toast. You wonder if he prefers black tea simply because it tastes more bitter than coffee rounded with milk.
Does he want this? Silly softness and toast and–
You get all your answers as he bends just enough to match your height, just enough to sweep you off your feet. Your hands go around his neck on instinct as he lifts you up from your rich, opulent Styx and into his sea.
You're quiet all the way upstairs – he can't fuck you downstairs, then, has to intrude on your luxury and privacy. You don't mind, especially when the steps give a desperate wail under your combined weight. He lets it sing its music to the night: your ruining already makes so much noise.
He reaches for his gun right after he’s placed you on the mattress. The sound of it is heavy when he sets it on the nightstand that has only seen glasses of water and apple juice and perhaps a few books. 
He undresses with soldierly sharpness, no seduction there. But he doesn't have to seduce you: his stare and heavy-cold demeanor have already done that.
He's so, so different from the others… Looks at you on the bed like you're both a piece of tender sirloin and something akin to garbage. That's an accurate depiction of a princess, perhaps. You know wasps gather around both honey and bloodied meat. 
He looks at you like that because you know nothing. And he's not here to ruin you… he's here to insert himself inside you like you're a foe that needs to be infiltrated, plundered and burned until you understand. 
He's big. Daunting. A brute while you’re the princess, could be the sleeping beauty, the way you stay immobile and try to take in this man's sheer power. You saw him half naked already when he came from the shower, but it's nothing compared to seeing all that taut, scarred flesh up close, soon about to fall upon you like a broken mountain. 
And what's between his legs is wholly proportional to the rest of him. That thing is a menace, and it's not even fully erect - hanging thick between thick thighs, foreskin revealing a fat, sloping tip, and he's veined all over… 
Finally, your mouth goes dry.
His gaze sweeps your beauty, and that cock gives a throb – a good, hard pull that stretches out into the open air, and your eyes go wide. Then he prowls, like the king of the jungle, moving with a fluidity that must be scary to those who meet their end by this big brute’s violence.
You are able to take in air only when his hand falls next to your head. The other claims you by the middle as if to soothe you - but the truth is you're caged in like a tiny, quivering animal.
The hand is heavy as it slopes across your stomach and scales your mound. It doesn't cup or probe, only rests there over your most sacred place, like an enemy surrounding a city. Your thighs part slowly, hoping he would just sweep right in.
"This wasn't in the deal," he rasps as he looks down at you: heavy iron judging a diamond.
"Oh shut up," you breathe, thoroughly thrilled and shy. If you weren't lying down, his intensity would buckle your knees.
"Nor do I take orders from you, ma'am."
"I'm not- Don't call me a-"
His eyes spark as the hand dips down like a deep diver into the blue. You gasp a stunned whiff when he's met with a mortifying amount of slickness. Your arousal sings a pretty song as he draws a finger over your slit, the moist sounds followed by another stuttering sigh. 
"Look at you all wet," he remarks, and you grit your teeth.
“Shut…up…”
"You know why I accepted this job?"
He wrecks you with one thick finger, rough skin lathering you with your own juice like he's trying to make a point here. And he is making a point: it comes across perfectly. The princess is a filthy mess for brutes…
And of course he was given a file on you too. With more than just one photo.
"Yeah," he rasps when you only look back at him with your felled deer helplessness. You could swear that he just heard your thoughts. "I think you know."
"You're–ah– a brute," you whisper, eyes shining. Your thighs part even more, feel yourself leaking over his fingers that stroke you agonizingly slow. You swallow with hunger, the need pangs on your cheeks. Your whole body is throbbing for him.
“Sticks and stones, love.”
He's so infuriating that you could slap him. Claw him, rip him apart. But you nearly laugh instead… It's far better an option to let him claw and rip you apart. He's tearing you apart right now, with those eyes and his hand, exploring you like you're the first course and he's here for the whole dinner. How can he be so calm?
"Could you…" You start, then realize you've never begged for this man.
"Hm? Talk to me," he commands. "Whatever ya want."
You whimper – from bliss or relief, you can't tell. The frantic need to serve is fully fleshed out in his tone. It surprises you. You thought he was here for his own pleasure. 
You try to think through the bliss of his fingers. You've had all kinds of things... All you could ever want, most would say. But that's not entirely true. No man has ever promised to please you however you want.
"Could you go…"
"Go down on you?" He places a thumb, broad and hard, on your clit. Teases it with the slightest pressure and a circle.  "Lick your cunt?"
Fuck…
He has no trouble saying it as it is, and you nod, still helpless.
"Sure. 'N after that I'll fuck you nice and good."
He's never, ever sounded like that before. Dark, and rich, the baritone reaching a level that speaks of hunger – no, need.
A brute, a pussy-drunk brute, the blood in your veins sing as he goes down. Nothing can prepare you for the way with which he manhandles his way between your thighs like they're only a petty distraction in the way. They're forced wide apart with a tight grip that speaks of urgency, but he takes his time to admire the sight bared before him. He’s drinking you in like ambrosia, towering above you while you’re being held open for him to just observe you like you’re a center-spread girl in a filthy magazine. 
"You're fucking pretty down here, did ya know that?"
You don't even know what to say - his tone, his observation is base, and still, they're the most beautiful words anyone has ever said to you.
"No…?"
"Well now ya know."
He steals a final glance at you, and the fire in his eyes already makes your legs feel weak. He dives between your parted legs, right into your leaking, glistening folds, and you're suddenly glad that you've done all that yoga… Those shoulders are so broad they force your thighs even further apart as he makes himself home there between your legs. 
A hot mouth presses against you like this man has been starving, even if you've fed him the best delicacies for days. An even, fat stroke is the first thing you feel before your toes curl and your head falls back.
"Goodness, Simon..." You try to keep yourself from stuttering as his mouth opens you like a flower. You should be quiet, for once, and let him do the job. He seems like an expert, even and especially there between your legs. "Do you-ah, always shag your clients?" 
"Told you you're my first," he rasps a husky sigh on your folds. He could ruin you with that voice alone.... He gives you another sweep of his tongue, full and ample, and your fingers curl around the sheets, your hips buck; your ass drives up on instinct, trying to both escape his mouth and rub your pussy against those thin but eager lips. 
"Don't worry," he tells your pussy with a warm chuckle. "This is free of charge."
You sigh, the first laugh of many up into the air. You're supposed to get angry, but you can't. You can't. 
"Have… no words for you."
"Good. It's about time you stopped talking, love."
He grabs your hips to punctuate it that you should indeed shut up. Fingers sink into your flesh like you're a whole goddamn feast - no more fucking toast and teasing. His hands look so huge as they dig into your skin - so different from the hands of men who work in offices or wait for people to serve them. You upvoted those hands to be the best part of this man long ago.
And that bulk of muscle… Some of those men in suits might go to the gym, but they couldn't forge a body like his in a million years: that breathtaking mass built to work and endure harsh conditions. It's not a flex or a sculptured piece of art: it's simply survival - ancient and primal.
He's got darkness, and you got diamonds, but something tells you his depths are infinitely more valuable. You couldn't buy his intensity even if they sold it in the streets. The skull mask was self-made, everything in this man is self-made, and he's sampling what diamonds taste like, and you wonder… Does he think you're cheap, some fake piece of worthless junk? Does he laugh at how easy you are? That under your manners, you're only a spoiled brat and a promiscuous maneater…? Or that he couldn't care less, as long as he can push his cock inside you?
He gives you his best, that's for sure. A working man, with you as his assigned mission, and the feeling of being a spoiled little princess only increases. And how are you supposed to stay still if he's slow and attentive like that? You might be his first client, but you're not his first shag…
His lips seal tightly around your nub, suck it, lap it, sigh on it - he's already breathless from the need to make you moan and cum. A purpose-driven, ravenous man, and when he dips his tongue inside your cunt, your mind finally goes blessedly blank. Your legs shake and stretch, and you can’t prevent your hand from skimming down to grab his hair when he gives you deep, unhurried plunges with his tongue, huffing against you from the mad want to make you feel good. 
You would never have guessed that Simon Riley would get such pleasure from licking a woman.
One hand disappears from around your thigh, and you guess it's one of his fingers that arrives, wide and thick, to tease your entrance. You can feel the smile on your folds as he slips it in, making you nearly jolt on the sheets. Your fingers instantly curl to tug that pale hair, to grab hold of something, and it makes him rumble inside you. 
He doesn’t even wait for you to catch your breath as he adds another finger. Goes shallow at first, then pushes those fingers in to the knuckle. The feeling of being filled - and not being filled enough - is going to drive you crazy any second now.
"Simon…"  
"Yeah?"
“I want you to… want you to…" you hear yourself choking on your beg as he works those fingers in and out of you while his lips are tight around your clit. He knows exactly what you're trying to ask.
And suddenly, it's he who breaks… 
"Right. 'M gonna fuck you now, yeah?"
The spread is gone, and you're being moved - on your belly, and you briefly think whether it's because he can't bear to look into your eyes when he takes you. You don’t even have time to whimper from the loss of his fingers and mouth before heavy thighs force your legs aside. You’re being spread again, crudely, obscenely, like it’s just a procedure that has to be done. He’s both methodical and impatient, and you wonder - has he wanted to rail you like this ever since he saw you? Force you to lie down on your belly while he takes you from behind like a helpless damsel?
His hands come to your hips as if to make sure that you won’t run away from under him. As if you ever wanted to… 
Something far fatter forces its way between your folds and straight onto your opening. He glides over your folds a few times, spreads your wetness all over his tip. Methodical still, but it makes you moan and swallow.
"Jesus…"
The lathering stops, the jutting cock settles right where your depths lie, and he chuckles. "Not quite, love."
Fuck… 
Fuck this man's cheek and audacity. Fuck his size and pride, the way he knows what he's doing all the fucking time. 
“Desperate for it?” 
That stupidly fat cock just resides there, teasing your aching, leaking hole without going in. But it’s like he answers his own question because you feel the thick of him give a notch against your folds. So impatient. Thoroughly needy. It sends you further down the whirpool of desire, a searing white, fathomless deep..
“Yes..”
When he goes in with a leaden grunt, your muscles go into a spasm - he's too big, he hasn't prepared you right, and still, you force yourself to relax.
"Not what you expected?" 
"It's… too much," you admit. He stops, realizing that for once in his life, he might've been an impatient man. Then he crawls forward, and you feel like you're about to be buried under a boulder as his weight bears down on you. Hands sink into the mattress on both sides of you, forcing you further up against him - you're floating, almost, to where you belong.
"Yeah? C'mon… You can take it."
You shudder. It's not even fully in yet?
He speaks too softly for it to be a demand, even when he's hovering on the brink of wanting to simply ram himself into your cunt. It's an encouragement. He’s cheering you on, like a coach. Or a leader... It’s leadership. 
When you don't object, he starts to feed more of himself in. You try to remember how to breathe because you were wrong, you were so, so wrong - it was barely just the tip, and now you're stretched wide and tight. He's endless, and sinking in deeper, deeper….
And you want it so much - all of him- you want to grip him and never let go. One hand comes to sweep over your hip again, it caresses the swell of your ass, and you know he's looking down at how well you can take him after all.
"How are we doin'?"
Your lips are swollen, and your brows are creased tight. It's still not in…? 
You’re fucked. Literally. But you can take him... You must.
You whimper when he slows down almost to a halt.
"Love. Tell me to stop 'n I'll stop."
"Just–gently," you whisper, brittle and shivering from joy.
"Don't worry. I got you."
Slowly, he arrives to the end of him and you. Hips flesh against yours, he’s out of breath before he even starts the thrusts. His length caresses places unfathomable in this position, and his weight is crushing you, even when he's supporting himself. It only feels like the safest place to be. Trapped there between your safe, soft bed and his safe, hard body. 
The first thrust punches the air out of your lungs. It doesn’t hurt, and it’s not uncomfortable; it’s just too much to take. You’ve never been so filled. 
"Fuck…" He swears, somewhere between the third or fourth thrust. "You're…"
"Good…?" You offer him when he doesn't continue. You know he was possibly going to say tight or something crude like that and corrected himself before it spilled. He merely grunts as an answer - a barbarian through and through, you decree. And then the brute speaks…
"The best."
God. You feel like a diamond after all, but you've never been under so much pressure, fearing you might break.
"You-too…" It's a sad little mewl. You sound like a child trying to make friends. Latching a hook on him, no matter how tiny it is. One shake, one ripple from the behemoth, and it will fall loose.
"Don't go lying with that pretty little mouth," he warns.
"I'm not lying."
"Yeah…? Keep squeezing me like that and perhaps I'll believe you."
It's a strange feeling, to meet your mistrust and jealousy on him. He has no pretenses, but he has secrets, camouflage, and flash grenades that blind you from the truth. But even he can't hide it all when he's moving inside you, so close, so terribly close.
You melt into a pool of heat and want, trying to meet him midway by offering your cunt, arching your spine, driving yourself up to give him better access. What was possibly meant as a desperate fuck turns into a sweet, weightless rocking, a rhythm of him and you. The hands on your hip start to gain weight as he holds you still for him, at times even pulls you against his cock.
"C'mon… wanna hear you," he huffs, then slides one hand to your butt and gives it a fond squeeze when you won't instantly make noise. "You're always givin' me that cheek and now you're silent?"
It's a warm question, a thick baritone that settles into your stomach, then shoots downwards and makes you clench. 
"Wh-what do you want me to say?"
"Want you to sing."
Of course the man who never talks won't shut up in bed. But he's not bullying you into submission, nor is he being mean. If anything, he sounds like he's finally on his knees. 
And you don't want to be mean either. Not anymore. But you just can't help yourself from having a little fun now that he's finally desperate and inside you. 
"Make me," you whisper, delivering your cheek with a wicked little smile.
The response is immediate: he dares to land a flat palm on your ass. Like you're a broodmare, a sirloin steak for him to feast on. And it does the job: you almost shriek, or at least that's how it sounds like when a parched little whine pushes through your vocal chords with violence.
"That's better," he barks, pleased with his work.
"You're horrible," you gasp. You're glad he put you face down on a pillow: you can only hope he doesn't see how happy you are in the darkness of his night.
"Yeah? And you're sweet." 
It's said with gravel wrapped in silk. It hits you and ignites, starts a flame inside you without permission.
You want him in ways you shouldn't. You want… more breakfasts, him carrying you up the stairs, taking in the way you tip-toe around the house in an old t-shirt. You want to serve him back rubs and tea and see who he is when he's not being paid. You don't want a lap dog or a guard dog, you simply want... 
Simon.
"I'm– I'm sorry that I've been such a bitch," you whisper. He sinks back on top of you until his nose nuzzles the back of your ear. He leans on his elbows, trying not to break you into too many little pieces, but the feeling of being confined couldn't be more blissful.
"Cock's that good?" He drags the following thrust, sparking your nerves aflame as he hits your core. But it's not brutal; if it is, it's the sweetest wrecking you could ever have imagined. 
"Don't make me take my words back," your lips pull to a smile and a silent, inner laugh. 
"Wouldn't dream of it." 
He's smiling too. Inwardly, perhaps, but you can hear the mirth. His weight on top of you while you're lying under him on your belly, unable to move, unable to do anything other than take the full brunt of his cock as it spreads you open, is pure heaven.
"Want you to cum when I'm inside you," he rasps in your ear, lips brushing the underside of your jaw. "Think you can do that, princess?"
Being told to cum on command is a bit ridiculous, you think. But not when it comes from that Cockney mouth. Not when he asks so nicely. Your cunt pulls, claws at him. 
"... I'll show you princess," you sigh, but it's only a second away from laughter. His fingers dig into your skin, the flush flesh of your ass. It feels possessive… Fond.
"Yeah. Show me. C'mon."
The camouflage gets slightly torn off by a wind of a smile. You can hear it on his lips. Sex should be fun, one of your friends always says. You had never thought about it like that. Bed is not the place for laughter and humor, you had thought. But now you are both on the brink of bursting with it.
"You're a fucking pretty one…" He grunts: a breathless, silent joy. "Know you want this as much as I do. Ain't that right?"
"Yes." 
"That's what I thought. So cum for me. Wanna hear the sounds you make."
You dance on the precipice already, and his voice causes your hand to shoot out to his. You drag that heated palm across your hips and your ribs, curl it next to you as if you were drawing a blanket over youself. It's a lover's caress, and his fingers slip between yours as he wraps around you like the protector that he is. 
Your walls flutter, the thickness inside you makes you swell with every thrust. His hips are relentless as he buries himself into you with blunt force, his flesh clapping against yours and making your cunt clamp down on him. Sweet, sweet, sweet, your blood sings as your lids drift closed. The wave is coming, the final tsunami that will sweep you with it, and you will only succumb with joy.
"Don't-stop," you hear yourself beg through the heavy pants he's grunting on your neck.
"'M not gonna stop," he grunts into your ear, serious now.
"Fuh–Fuck me good and… hard," you're hiccuping through dry tears. It feels like there's a hammer and an anvil placed between your ribs. "I need you hard-"
"Shit…"
You barely grasp that he's about to lose his precious control before the midnight sea takes you under. The world fades into a tight know of blue and white and black, electric, ambient, something soft and hot at the same time. You're choking on your tears, moaning into the pillow like a poor, broken, tortured cat. 
"That's fucking pretty," he swears on your neck as you cum. All humor is gone now, but he's not mocking you. He's just… emotional. The bulk of him rides you through the wave, but the rhythm of his hips becomes erratic. 
"That's it, pretty… I'm gonna…Fuck," he huffs on your skin, a mist of want, and the cockhead rubs something profound inside you and makes you jolt in the middle of your molten euphoria. He grunts, swears, and does it again - bludgeons so deep it forces out a sob, just before he breaks too with a choked, wet swallow and a groan. A trembling colossus, you think, as he thickens and bursts inside you.
You're an aching mess when he comes, his thighs pressing over yours and forcing them far and wide as he buries himself into you to the hilt. He's a behemoth, spasming and crumbling right above you. The broad abs bunch against your back while his hips pin you down and spread you open. The cock pulses inside you, and you are barely able to think how it's a miracle that both his thick flesh and the pool of cum, all of it, just somehow fits there inside you…
A gentle brute until the end, he swallows again, thick and breathless, before giving a few tight rolls of his hips, emptying himself to the last drop. Slowly, you both still inside your bubble of warm, dark blue, something akin to a sea between a tropical storm and a calm sunrise, a drowsy reef shifting with the waves. 
He's broken into a light sweat from the toil when he finally untangles your fingers. Your hips are kept in place with one hand as he slowly pulls out. You feel like you're left emptier than before, even if you feel the cum welling up inside, about to spill over.
Your bodyguard - your late-night fuck - collapses beside you, then reaches to pull you close again. Still back against his chest, still unable to look into your eyes when you're both vulnerable. 
"I'm gonna get you a towel," his fingers tremble as he caresses your arm with the most delicate touch. 
"No–don't, don't go," you whisper, then grab his hand and bring it back over you. You almost squeeze yourself with it. "Please?"
The tension behind your back decreases as he slowly falls back into bed.
"Alright love. I'll stay right here."
It's so peculiar how he reminds you of large water masses. A night sea under a pale moonlight. Not a stormy, roiling one, just a vast depth in an ever-swelling motion.
"I want… I need you to keep me safe," you whisper inside that swelling sea. You never want to come to the surface. You want to learn to breathe underwater. The heavy arm is draped over you; it covers nearly half of your chest as he sighs.
"Then let me do that."
His plea is not humble - nothing in this man is. He's not on one knee, swearing his allegiance and vowing to always protect you. He's not your Lancelot.
But in a way, his plea comes far too close to a beg. You feel a sting near your heart. It's electric, pure pain - the sweet kind, though, as you realize he doesn't only want to do his job… He wants to protect you. He has already tried his best to protect you while you run around like nothing is wrong. 
"Simon… I'm sorry."
"I already forgave you," he hums on your skin, evidently glad that you two finally understand each other. It should send you laughing, the thought that you needed his scars and his…treatment to find common ground. And free of charge, no less.
"Do you still wish you were somewhere warmer…?"
He bows his head against the nape of your neck, and the gush of air from his nose is warm and jovial. "No."
It's hours till dawn, but you wish it would never come. The beauty of the night is only now unfolding before you. It feels far more safe than the violent dawn. You wonder how he would react if you moaned his name as you cum. If he would shudder. You wonder what the hell is wrong with you that you didn't already do it...
"Simon…?"
"Mm..?"
"What happens now?"
There's a pause, but he doesn't shift for more comfort. Still, the bullet vests and battle gears are back on; you just sense it.
"We're gonna get some sleep."
"No, I meant… What does this mean for us?"
"What do you think it means?"
Now he shifts, but only to draw you closer. You feel like jello as he pulls your scent deep into his lungs, then exhales the grace on your skin like you're the only tobacco he needs after a good round of sex.
"Don't worry about it, princess," he murmurs on your skin. So delicately that you could claim this man has never even seen the army, never barked and shouted and smoked his throat dry. "We'll talk in the morning."
You settle into his sea, an embrace full of gentle, heavy safety. It's the sweetest oblivion to slip in as you begin a dreamless sleep, soft and snug. But it's not merciful enough to make you forget that you two… 
You never even kissed.
............................................
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wynnyfryd · 5 months
Text
Trailer park Steve AU part 28
part 1 | part 27 | bonus stobin scene | ao3
cw: anxiety attack, graphic thoughts of death
Chapter 7
Steve's mom leaves the week before Thanksgiving.
No preamble, no notice, no "so long and thanks for paying rent," just— poof. Gone. Ta-ta, kiddo. Have a great life!
(Or don't!
Who cares?
Not me, that's for sure!)
The worst part is Steve finds out from Ernie of all people. Ma couldn’t even tell him to his face that she’s abandoning him to the gaping maw of this hellish town because she’s a good-for-nothing coward. Some day this place is gonna swallow him whole, splinter the bones and cough up the pellet, and Florence Harrington will be somewhere far, far away, sighing empty condolences over a fresh glass of red. “Just dreadful, isn’t it? Such a pity; what a shame.”
Steve’s hanging towels on the clothes line the day after the party — after the ride to drop off Max and the hangover brunch with Robin; after drowning his headache in Tylenol and finally getting home, only to realize that he can’t shower yet because all the towels are soaking wet — when Ernie looks up from his yardwork and casually ruins his goddamn life.
“You're wastin' your time with that,” he says, propping his weight against a rake and squinting at Steve in the mid-afternoon sun.
“What?” Steve frowns; hangs another towel. It's not like they're going to dry themselves. "Why?"
"Too cold."
"It's not supposed to rain, though, is it?"
"No, but the humidity—"
Screw the humidity. "I'm sure it'll be fine."
Ernie shrugs. “Suit yourself.”
He turns his attention back to his yard, dragging the rake over a smattering of damp leaves; obsessed with keeping his little patch of lawn pristine; and Steve reaches into the hamper and sincerely hopes that Ernie’s wrong. He needs a shower, and if the towels don't dry fast enough they get that gross mildew smell to them, and then it gets in Steve's hair, and how is he supposed to flirt with Eddie if he smells like musty lake water?
"Where's your mom off to, anyway?" Ernie asks after a moment. "Saw her leave this morning with two big suitcases,” he explains when Steve throws him a questioning look. “Figured she was off somewhere nice.”
Steve blanches.
Two big suitcases?
He didn’t even notice that she wasn’t here. Feels like a stupid, selfish asshole now, because he’d called ‘ma, I’m home!’ when he got in earlier and had thought nothing of her complete lack of response, the peaceful silence of the house; had welcomed it at the time, even, and what if—
Oh, god, what if she’d died?
What if she’d been lying there dead in her room, and Steve didn’t bother to check because he was too busy thinking about himself and how nice it was not to hear reruns on the TV for once? How long would she have lain there, rotting and bloated, and— and how long would his dad have, if the gunshot hadn’t rung out? How long; how long? Bleeding out on the carpet gurgling fish sounds everything red and Steve can’t breathe—
“Did she—?” he pants. Brings a hand to his throat; tries again. “Did you- see who she left with?”
“Some woman. Relative of yours, maybe? I didn’t get a good look at her. Had a real fancy car, though. Mercedes, think it was.”
Steve chokes on his own spit. Feels his throat close up, his heart pound and his ears ring and the yellow-purple-black start creeping in like vines at the edge of his vision, like demogorgon claws; like death’s shark-toothed grin. Hungry, howling, happy as it takes a bite out of him.
“You alright?” Ernie asks.
Steve grinds his jaw so hard he feels something crack. "Excuse me," he grits out, stomping back into the house.
"Fuck!" Steve shouts to his empty house — to the sun-faded paneling, to the weird stain in the orange carpet. Fucking Cecelia; fucking hell.
He cleans the house in a rage, eyes hot with unshed tears, and there's a note on the breakfast table. Crisply folded on plain paper, prim cursive letters, almost comically estranged:
Steven,
Apologies for short notice. Gone to stay with Aunt Cece in Evanston. Call or visit if you like.
— Mom
P.S. Happy Thanksgiving
The words leave papercuts in his throat. Steve rips the note to tiny pieces, can hardly see for the tears swimming in his eyes, but he's not crying over this; he's not. He fucking refuses.
Somewhere along the way, the cleaning turns to blind destruction, demolition of the all the little scraps of life mom left behind: her creepy angel figurines, her vintage Pyrex dishes, an empty bottle of old perfume. Steve hurls them all against the living room wall, delights in the shimmering pile of broken glass at his bare feet. Wants to crawl over it on hands and knees. Wants to burn this place to the ground.
When the sun dips below the trees he goes back out to check the towels. The air is wet, bitterly cold; nips at his hands when the wind blows, and the towels hang heavy on the line, just as damp as before but now the slightest bit stiff with the first creep of frost.
"FUCK!" Steve roars, ripping a towel down off the line. Yanking each one down in turn, throwing them into the dirt, raging, "What! Is! The fucking! Point!"
His tears spill over then, hot and wet as he sinks to his knees with a wounded growl, and he chokes there in the dirt; the cold, wet mud, the patchy grass. Gravel digs into his shins, and sobs wrack his chest, capsize him like plunging waves, and he can't do anything but shake and cry where the whole neighborhood can see. Making a commotion; making a scene, as his mother would say, but his mother's not here. She fucking left. She left him here, and his dad did, too, and Steve is utterly, truly, hopelessly alone.
"Come on, son."
And there’s Wayne Munson, coaxing him up off the ground with a sure, strong grip. Steve makes animal sounds as Wayne lifts him under the arms — ruined hiccups, mangled wails. There's mud in his lungs. Ocean silt; sucking sludge.
His mother's gone.
"Easy now," Wayne shushes; hugs him hard against his side. "You're alright, kid. You're alright."
part 29
tag list under separate reblogs, comment if you’re over 21 and want to be added tomorrow
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panchatea · 3 days
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Aletheia & Etterath
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ChaCha Story Commissions.
Gahyeon x Male Reader ft. SuA
Tags: Romance, Lover’s Sex, Dreamcatcher, Gahyeon, SuA, Fluff, Melodrama
Wordcount: 11956
LAST PART OF THE SERIES
PART 1 - Aulasy & Kairoclerosis
PART 2 - Amour & Liaison
A/N: This is the last part of this series. Yey! I hope it's okay, I haven't written anything this technical before and I haven't written smut for more than a year. please do tell me how is it. It's not perfect but yeah.
Support me on KOFI
***
“Unnie, do you love me?” There’s just something that has always been both a blessing and a curse for me. People seem to think I am just a dumb pretty face who is unaware of anything around her—even my members always treat me like I'm a child.
However, the truth is, I know…
I observe and I always watch. 
I know.
I just don't talk.
“Gahyeonie, of course, I love you.” She smiled caringly as she continued to wipe that iniquitous body of hers that I’m so jealous of—slender, sexy, toned, and petite so unlike my curvy voluptuous body. Well, despite my jealousy of her body and other things, I’m glad to have her, she loves me so genuinely like her own sister. 
I love her too. 
But I know… 
She’s jealous of me too, and makes me so happy. 
“Do you love him too?” She smiled again, but this time it was almost too bittersweetly. Bora-unnie opened her mouth and she didn't speak for a moment.
“Of course, I love him.” I know you. That was your true feelings, wasn't it? 
“Every member loves him. He’s cute and he takes good care of you. There's no way we wouldn't love him.” That was true. She didn't lie, but it was far from her truth.
Nonetheless, I just tucked myself in the sheets and pretended to sleep. I just didn't know what to say to her or you so I held back. It wasn't before I felt her warm body beside me. It was Bora-unnie.
She's always been good to me. She always took good care of me. What's mine could have been hers, but she didn't take it. She gave you to me.
I always knew.
I saw it.
That spark in your eyes the first time you met her. Time must have slowed for you during those five seconds.
The way you listened intently to my stories, but you always had ears for things about her. You were always curious, but you never asked.
The way you glance over her reaction whenever they teased us of being lovers before. 
The way she had always greeted you first. And was always there watching over us two. 
You two always had an eye for each other. 
It always felt like she wanted you. 
And when you asked her about love.
When you said “I love you” to her. 
I knew. 
“Can’t fall asleep?” I heard Bora-unnie say. I thought it was for me, but then… 
“Noona, what will happen from now on?” You answered her from my left side. I only noticed your presence then, maybe from all the thinking. 
“I honestly don’t know,” Bora-unnie said as I felt her warm embrace engulf me, “she didn’t say it but I think she knows, but I’m too scared to ask.”
And I’m too scared to tell you two. Why didn’t I just wish the two of you to live happily? Why must you two hurt because of me?
“I’m happy and grateful for her tonight so I decided not to be greedy from now on. Tonight might happen again or not ever again but either way, I’m fine with it,” she continued as her hug tightened. 
I’m the one who should be sorry for ruining something beautiful between the two of you. I’m sorry for being selfish, but I’m sorry because I don’t regret it.
“Whether she might decide to keep this sexual thing going or decide to acknowledge my feelings for you and let me share your relationship with the three of us or just bury it, I will not complain and do something.” I already did acknowledge it Bora-unnie, but the moment you surrendered him to me, that was when you already lost.
“After all, I already gave you up to her ever since that day, and it’s a decision I don’t wanna take back and regret,” she said lastly. The pain was apparent in her tone. Her hands that hugged me were shaking. You sighed, you were quiet, you were just listening, and I wish you had expressed your thoughts more, but as usual, you were reserved.
“So that’s it?” You said with a tone of acceptance and defeat.
“That’s it,” She agreed before breaking her hug and turning her back to drift to sleep.
I opened my eyes, only to be met by your sleeping face. 
The face of the man that I love. 
The man who I wish loved me as much I love him, but sadly I’m not confident. 
What a player. It feels conflicting. I don’t plan on giving you up, but I’m not sure what these emotions are or what should I feel. You never cheated on me with her. You never did anything to compromise this relationship. You worked so hard to show your love for me, but whenever Bora-unnie is here, it always feels like you are chained to her, and she only pulls once, then you’ll leave me. I’m always at the mercy of her pity for me. Your words earlier still linger in my ear.  I trust you and your words.
“I loved you but I love Gahyeon.”
“Thank you, but please wait for me… at least until I can make a decision”
That's what I said but then again, 
I knew…
I would still choose you even if you don't.
And I wish,
You would choose me too.
The next day after that night was anticlimactic. It was awkward eating breakfast that morning. Everyone was quiet while eating the hotel room service food. It was a simple breakfast of toast, honey, butter, bacon, eggs, and coffee.
“This breakfast reminds me of Europe, we would eat this every day and I kinda missed the usual Korean breakfast after a while,” Gahyeon reminisced and you followed the conversation by asking about things about their tour while SuA stayed quiet, just listening to the two of you until breakfast was over. Gahyeon was weird today. She wasn’t doing that thing while she ate. 
SuA excused herself, saying that she had an appointment and left you two alone.
“I’ll go now, Kids. Take care you two.” SuA said before she left. SuA looked rather down, she wasn’t being her usual mature and mischievous self. It felt like she had a problem she couldn’t share.
“Worried?” She asked you.
It became even more awkward when you and Gahyeon were left alone inside the room. No one dared to talk about what happened last night. It felt like there was a wall between the two of you and Gahyeon had a lump inside her throat that she couldn’t get out. She tried to smile but they were bittersweet. You wanted to say something to help her but there was nothing, as you were painfully aware of the fact that you were the reason.
“About what?” You answered back but you knew it was about SuA leaving so abruptly. 
“I have no things to worry about.” You added as you smiled awkwardly.
Gahyeon stayed quiet after that and sat right beside you before locking hands with yours as she leaned onto your shoulders. She was clingy, refusing to let off your hand. It was comforting and reassuring, but it might be even a call for help from her. 
“Do you wanna stay like this all day?” You opted to stay with her.
 “No, I should visit my mom and dad. I haven’t seen them for so long,” She said and asked you to drive to her parent’s house. They haven’t seen her for so long you agreed.
The drive wasn’t any better. It was uncomfortably quiet with only the radio music filling the air. Thankfully, it played one Dreamcatcher’s song, and Gahyeon humming along with it made the atmosphere a little lighter. It was quite a long ride, but you survived.
Something was going on, and you were being kept in the dark. You knew it was about SuA. About what happened yesterday? It was not like you weren’t affected either. But you knew it was because of you, and you couldn’t do much.
“I love you,” you whispered before kissing her gently on the lips in front of her parents’ house. It was the only thing you thought you could do. A gentle kiss and the words she wanted to hear the most. 
Gahyeon reciprocated with a peck of her own on your lips. She inched close, another on your cheek. Before whispering her reply to your words.
“I love you too.” This time the side of her lips raised as she was almost too drawn by the black hole in front of her. Three words and a kiss were the reassurance she deserved. She turned around happily to their house.
The night before, Gahyeon wished for you to express yourself more. Say that you wanted her as much as she wanted you. Reject Bora flatly, but instead, what she got was only you wondering and a last defeated line.
But this time, the saying of those three words and the kiss reassured Gahyeon of something. Something that made her feel less of a pitied woman and more of a chosen love.
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Months have passed since then and it was like the hatchet was buried. The topic has never been talked about. Unsaid feelings and concerns were left unsaid, but you and Gahyeon continued to work on your relationship. It was like she didn’t have to bring it up, as you knew ever since that moment in front of her parent’s house—it was a testament to your feelings—it was all that was needed.
Today, there she was sitting on her chair. With that black dress’ fitting her, she would make every model in this world thankful that Gahyeon became an idol—it hugged her body tightly, proudly highlighting her gorgeous figure. Not just that, the French tips, the designer ring you gifted her, a scrunchy just in case, pink hair, and red lips, complete a date night look.
Gahyeon was a goddess.
Gahyeon no matter what she was wearing or even if she was wearing nothing at all, she would be the most beautiful girl in this world to you and many people. Today though, she was dressed extra special, just for you, and with that, you were thankful for being the one chosen by this goddess.
Gahyeon’s attention was all poured into the menu in front of her. She giggled as she looked at each page excitedly. Why wouldn’t she be excited? The meal was treated by you, and it was your second anniversary. You just stared at her, reminiscing all of the things that you two had gone through for the past year. From a rather peculiar deal after a one-night stand, a night for three naked bodies with the same girl you had a one-night stand with, and through all of that confusion and pain you had caused the girl in front of you, here you were celebrating this festive day.
“Don’t look at me like that, I’m gonna melt,” she teased as she closed the menu and gestured for the waiter to take her orders before looking back at you. Gahyeon smiled naughtily as if she had concocted something mischievous inside her head. 
She inched closer until there was only a few centimeters between you and her lips which made you instinctively close your eyes.
For a kiss, but you just heard giggling before you—
“Ahh! What was that?” you asked as you opened your eyes only to find the love of your life back at her seat with the same smirk she had earlier. You just caressed your forehead, trying to ease the pain of her attack.
“You looked too cute, I had to tease you.” Her laughs echoed into your ears—a symphony you would never get tired of. Sadly, that soon came to a halt as the waiter came to take the food order. Of course, the order was hers to decide alone, you had given her the privilege to do so on this special occasion.
She opted for a specialty dish, a whole pizza, a side of roasted potatoes, an assorted seafood dish, and pints of beer to keep the cold night warm.
“Yah, that’s too much, we can’t possibly finish all of that,” You said to her to which she replied with a pout, “Aish, you’re not planning on making me finish all of that?”
“Of course! It’s the man of the relationship's job to finish all the food his woman ordered.” Gahyeon pointed out before handing the menu to the waiter. There she goes, a typical girlfriend moves to use gender roles to get what they want.
The food didn’t take too long to arrive. And it also didn’t take any for you two to enjoy the feast in front of you.
“Here try this,” Gahyeon offered you a spoonful of the specialty dish she ordered which you gladly accepted shyly before she herself tried it. Whether she was sweet or she wanted to see how it tasted first, her mixed expression said it was both. 
“How was it?” She asked and you just nodded. Gahyeon never was the kind to hide her affection. She didn't even try to hide the relationship from the media. For a while it became a headache for her management, but with time and effort, it all became fine. Now it is an open fact that Gahyeon from Dreamcatcher is dating a non-showbiz man. 
“It’s delicious!” Gahyeon blissfully exclaimed after she took a bite. You smiled unknowingly while watching her—it looked like it was worth it to book this restaurant months earlier for this date. She was happy—the way she hummed as she ate was a testament to this. 
“Don’t stuff yourself too much or you’ll end up complaining to me later that you gained weight,” you teased her as you too stuffed yourself with the delicious food. She glared at you—never mention gaining weight with someone who controls theirs for their job. An idol needs to always stay in shape after all—their almost impossible-like figures. 
“I’m sorry.”
Time passed like that. You two passed bicker on to each other. Talking about all the mundane things. Just there, enjoying the company of each other.
The night has been perfect so far. The cold breeze was countered by the alcohol, delicious food alongside great conservation, and the reincarnation of beauty and kindness, your date Gahyeon has been nothing but lovely(also a teasing master), there was no reason to be unhappy. 
“I said to stop staring at me like that.” She looked at you sourly, pretending to be annoyed at you.
“I wasn’t, I wasn’t looking at you!” you retorted at her. “I was looking at that last piece of pizza.”
You took it, bit on it, and she looked like hell rose and her soul left her body.
“But, I was gonna take that last piece,” she dejectedly said as she pouted at you.
“Yah! You, we’re breaking up! You stole my pizza.” Gahyeon pointed her fork at you, threatening you with it.
“Come on now, fox, I’m sorry. Here take the piece.” You placed the pizza on her, but she just glared at you.
“But, you already took a bite!” She moved the piece back to your plate but you refused and placed it again on her plate.
“No! This is betrayal! Did you know wars started because of pizza!” Whelp, that was clearly an overreaction. Or maybe not, you made a mental note to search later which historical event she might be referring to.
For the second time, she returned the pizza. And by then you had already noticed other guests from the tables near you looking. Not that it was embarrassing you, but being a cause of distraction to other people was bad.
“Babe, I’m really sorry,” You apologized sincerely. “Look, we can order another pizza if you still want them. We can also take them as a takeout for later.”
 “The next time, I promise I’ll ask you, if you want the food before I eat it, okay?” You held out your pinky, and she raised just her eyebrow and crossed her arms as you wiggled the finger in front of her.
“Hmm, k. You better order the same one!” Gahyeon hooked her finger onto yours and stood up. It all happened too fast and before you even knew it, her lips connected to yours, not caring if it was a public display of affection or if she could be photographed by a random fan. 
You two had done it more than times you could ever count, but it was still as magical—her soft supple lips landing on yours, staining it with her red lipstick.
“Be ready, I think you’ll be on Dispatch tomorrow,” Gahyeon smirked as she disconnected her finger from yours and snatched the piece of pizza on your plate before she sat again and ate it. You will definitely be on Dispatch tomorrow after that,  but this time, it won’t be a controversy but it is to report about Gahyeon’s successful relationship.
As for you, you shyly sat there—red as an apple after that scene straight out of a KDrama. 
You shyly gestured for the waiter.
“Can we get the check and then a pizza for takeout,” you said to the waiter as Gahyeon continued to enjoy herself, taking pictures as she ate her food. You took out your phone to capture some photos.
It was such a mundane thing, but it was so beautiful. Her just being there, eating the food you treated her comfortably without any care in the world.
The way she smiles.
The way she munches her food.
It was love when even the most boring things became the most interesting.
There was no worry in this world with you and her in it. It was proving how fruitful your efforts were in this relationship.
You love her and that is all that matters. You wouldn't trade her for anything or anyone. That was what you decided ever since that day.
Soon the waiter came with a box of pizza and the check for the food. You paid for everything and got ready to leave. The night was still young, there were so many things to do, and there was only so much you could do.
Not much time after, Gahyeon found herself walking alongside the beach, and you followed her from behind. The air was cold to feel,  the song of the ocean resonated to the ear, her footsteps left prints on the sand beneath, and her dress flew and formed waves like the ocean’s. 
It was a sight to behold. 
There was just a certain kind of beauty as the moon just shone on her like it was a spotlight, her porcelain skin glowed as if it was reflecting the moon like the water does. The focus was all just for her and everything, even the breathtaking view just became a backdrop to her beauty. It was a picturesque sight that would forever be imprinted on one’s brain.
However, it wasn’t anything special. Rather it was just Gahyeon and your eyes. The eyes that allowed you to see her for who she was. It wasn’t because of her beauty, or her personality, it was Gahyeon as a whole. 
What people don’t really understand was that attraction and love are two different things.
Seeing someone and wanting them is attraction.
Seeing someone and wishing to be with them is love.
Of course, attraction is normal among lovers, but there is a fine line between lust, infatuation, and love. To which is what is underneath all that attraction. The normality and comfort of just being in her presence. Gahyeon isn’t the goddess or the idol of everyone. The difference between your love and the love of her fans is that you don’t look up in the sky for her—seeing her in glasses of such absurdity and obscurity.
Gahyeon is there.
She’s always been there up ahead. She’s not up there on a pedestal.
She’s there with you.
And that’s what you call Love.
And that’s when you truly see. It was not the glow of her skin under the moonlight, or the way her pink hair and black dress swayed to the blow of the sea breeze, or the way that sight was like a masterpiece waiting to be captured and kept in an art museum.
It was again only Gahyeon. Gahyeon who was just walking alongside the beach. Gahyeon, who was stuffed with all of the food she ate. Gahyeon, who probably was feeling cold, because one, she wore sleeveless, two she didn’t bring any jacket even though you told her to do so earlier, and three, because it was simply cold during that night.
Gahyeon makes you worry. Gahyeon makes you feel unease. Gahyeon makes you hurt. Gahyeon makes you wanna care. Gahyeon makes you feel alive. Gahyeon makes you cry. Gahyeon makes you laugh.
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Gahyeon is Gahyeon.
She took out her phone, pointed it onto the horizon, and soon you felt a vibration inside your pocket.
“The moon looks so beautiful isn't it?” Her message said alongside the picture of the horizon as if you weren't there with her. You smiled as you typed the reply.
“Come on, why are you acting like I’m not even here,” you said as you approached her and nudged her. She giggled and looked at your face for a second before she went back to staring at the horizon. You dropped the pizza that you ordered as takeout at the sand, took off your jacket, and shielded Gahyeon from having a cold later tonight.
“I knew you’d do that. That’s why I didn't bring a jacket. It is a boyfriend thing to do,” she commented and you just giggled in response. 
“The moon looks so blue.” There it was up above the skies, shining alone brightly. It must have been lonely. There were no stars above and even if there were, no matter how it seemed like they were close to each other, they were truly drifting away from each other. It was scary. 
She held your hand. Tightly as if she was scared you would just disappear through thin air. It was sweaty and cold, but she didn't mind. 
“I prefer the red sunset.”
Yes, that red sunset back when we were just teenagers without any care in the world,  chasing our dreams, and then and there I knew I only had one dream. 
And it was to be with you. 
It was funny because I was making fun of how frail you were, and how you wouldn’t be able to run a mile. You wouldn’t be able to reach the beach at the end of the town. Your house was on the other end of the town after all. 
But you did, and the first thing you did was send me a photo of that beautiful red sunset.
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t was so beautiful. 
It made me happy. 
You were amazing and it was beautiful. 
I could imagine how you were frowning when I replied and said how pretty it was.
I mean, you sent it to me to show how amazing you were right? 
It made me so happy so I took my bike and pedaled all the way to you. 
You were so funny. I caught you complaining.
“Not that! I want her to know how awesome it is that I ran here!” You exclaimed.
“Oh, you didn’t want to show me the sunset?” You didn’t even notice that I was behind you.
“That’s right… not the sunset…” That was when you realized, and looked back before jumping out of shock.
“Gah, what are you doing here?” You asked me.
“Talking to you last time made me want to see the sunset.” That is what I answered, but the truth is…
I wanted to see you. I even brought you a bottle of water. You drank as we sat on the sand.
“I’m so happy,”—I expressed— “you ran all the way here to send me a picture of that beautiful sunset.”
“It’s not like that…” you denied but you were blushing. You continued mumbling, trying to come up with an excuse. You were so cute, you didn’t know what to do and you couldn’t even understand what you were feeling.
I called out your name. You were so rattled.
“It’s so red, isn’t it?”
“Red? Am I blushing?”
But I just said…
“It’s a beautiful red sunset. So pretty…”
“The sunset? It sure is. It’s red, isn’t it.”
“Well, it’s not as red as you.” I couldn’t really help but tease you. Your reactions were so cute.
But really…  I was so glad.
I could watch that beautiful sunset with you.
Those were the days.
That was also the day, I realized… It wasn’t a crush.
I love you.
“Red sunset?” Your question brought back Gahyeon from her trance.
“Yes, I wanna see it again,” Gahyeon said as she continued to watch to the horizon while you watched her.
“Is this that beautiful?” You asked her.
“Yes, it was so beautiful,” Gahyeon answered. She turned to look at you and locked eyes.
“Yes, beautiful.” She giggled.
“Take me to the beach again soon,” Gahyeon asked full of expectations.
“Why?” You asked but you already made a mental note to plan another beach trip. Maybe this time back in yours and Gahyeon’s hometown. You remember visiting alone the last time you drove her to see her parents, and it was beautiful. Maybe you two could eat some crabs and other seafood.
Gahyeon loves seafood a lot after all.
“I wanna see a nice red sunset again. Also, I really want to catch some crabs.” Gahyeon said and rubbed her stomach. Is she a mind reader? Or was she just thinking about using her stomach? Either way, it made you laugh a little. You expected her to say something about food.
“Then, we should go earlier than today so that we catch some crabs while we wait for the sun to set.” It’s been decided. You don’t when, but you knew it was gonna happen, maybe when Gahyeon’s schedule loosened up again.
“I wonder how many I can catch.” She said after you ruffled her pink hair. Gahyeon retaliated, trying hard for you not to ruin her hair that she had so much time to perfect just for your anniversary date. When she finally was able to stop you, she glared at you and pouted cutely.
“You won’t be able to and you’ll make me catch them instead.” You just laughed as you tried to fix her again. You know her too much. Gahyeon would say that it’s a boyfriend thing to do to catch crabs for her girlfriend and cook them—she would leverage her girlfriend card again.
“That’s rude, I can do it too.” She slapped your hand and fixed her hair herself. Of course, her slap didn’t use too much force. Gahyeon is sulky girlfriend but she doesn’t want to cause you harm.
“I didn’t say, you can’t. I’m saying you’ll be too scared to do so.” She threw punches. Again they were not hurtful, but she was throwing a real tantrum and if you don’t calm her, she will sulk for the rest of the date.
“Come, sit here.” You held her hand and pulled her to sit on the sand near where you put down the takeout food from earlier.
“Open the pizza. I’m hungry.” She ordered to which to gladly followed. As soon as the box revealed the food, her eyes widened. Gahyeon, who was almost drooling turned her mood upside down because of the luscious pizza in front of her. She couldn’t restrain herself, as she excitedly hummed before she went for a piece and ate it.
“You’ll get fat,” You commented and she nudged you while her mouth was still stuffed.
“You’ll exercise with me, don’t worry,” Gahyeon retorted and you just laughed as you too took a piece.
The box of pizza was emptied as the night went on. Conservation under the moon went by faster than normal and that’s okay. As long as it was with her, time spent was time spent well. 
Soon she decided that the cold ocean breeze was not doing it for her anymore and opted you two to leave the beach. Hand-in-hand you two went back to your accommodation for the night—a hotel near the beach and the restaurant.
The hotel room was nice. It wasn’t anything special like what most fans would thought idols were always staying in. It was a small suite with a single bed, kitchen, bath, and a balcony that overlooks the ocean. It was nice and not over the top. Gahyeon loved it. As soon as she entered the room, flopped and bounced on the bed, playing as if she still had so much energy to burn.
“Come on, our anniversary night is still not over!” Gahyeon had her arms open wide, tempting you to jump on her arms. It wasn’t an offer anyone could refuse. A woman as cute and attractive as she flopped her arms open wide on top of a fortress of pillows and mattress, there was no way you would pass on that.
It was a long night that you wish wouldn’t end.
You didn’t waste any more time to accept her offer as soon you were engulfed by her arms. You were on top of her, pressing onto her as she caressed the back of your head. Gahyeon smelled nice. Gahyeon always smells nice. Her smell made you feel relaxed, and her hug was comfortable. She gently ghosted her hand back and forth of your hair as she hummed your favorite song.
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It felt like a baby being held and hummed to sleep. It felt like heaven. It felt like home. It felt like the right place. And that place was inside her nestling hug. Gahyeon cuddled you, and you nestled back. Her voice was angelic. It was a known fact, but hearing her voice almost whispering the melodies of love, was the greatest fan service only available to you.
Your phone vibrated a few times, but you ignored it as you focused only on her and her alone. Relish the moment while it lasts. Take advantage of each second before it passes. For God JiU’s sake, it was your anniversary and nothing is more important than Gahyeon and you—it was probably just some work problem needing of solution anyway, they could at least handle it for one night.
Before you even knew it, Gahyeon finished her song.
“Thank you for putting up with me.” She whispered.
“Why wouldn’t I? I’m your boyfriend.” You answered back.
“Do you lo—”
“I love you,” you cut her before she could the question to allow her to hear the words. However, she didn’t do so after all.
“I love you too,” Gahyeon whispered before she pushed you off her and got off the bed with a mischievous smile.
“You’ll suffocate and squish me if we stay this way for long,”—Gahyeon pointed at you—“Special cuddling fanservice session is finished.”
This time you were the one to pout at her.
“No fair, I wanna cuddle more,” You complained.
“Take care of that constant vibration on your phone first while I take quick shower.” Gahyeon winked, “We’ll do something special when you come back.”
In the blink of an eye, Gahyeon disappears to the bathroom after insinuating something naughty for later. You were left in a daze for a few seconds, imagining what she meant by her words. You were only able to break the trance after a vibration.
You finally opened your phone only to be shocked by what was on the screen which made your smile turned upside down.
You quickly went down to the hotel lobby, where the message on your phone led you to find her.
“I just came back from a long hiatus and you’ll greet me with that face?” She pointed out your conflicted expression.
“Noona… why are you here?” She approached for a hug, but you were quick to step back and draw a line between the two of you.
It was SuA who you didn’t hear so much after months of cutting the connection from all of you—or at least from you. You were reluctant to talk to her.
“Why are you giving me the cold shoulders?” SuA teased as she once again approached step-by-step and you backed down for each step she took.
“Noona, stop this… what are you doing.” But she didn’t listen and forcefully tried to take your hand. Of course, you had more strength than her but being forceful to someone you cared about was hard.
“I’m taking you with me,” SuA declared as she tried to pull you, but you just didn’t let her as she pleased.
“Noona, I’m not going with you. Where? Where were you even? Where are you trying to take me?!” You lashed out at her. Thankfully, no one was around to see the scene. The older one just stared at you annoyed that you didn’t listen to her.
That standoff took a few seconds before you turned your back to walk away. You were finished with her. You were not doing this. Atleast, not on your anniversary night. You were not going to get swayed by her.
“Didn’t you say that you love me?”—her words stopped your steps—“Prove it to me now, ran away with me.” 
Turn back. Look at her. Hear her cries.
“I love you.” Beads of tears slowly fell down her gorgeous face.
“Please, say it. 
I wanna hear it again. 
Say that you love me. 
Choose me.” 
It was painful, watching her cry fully knowing that you were the reason.
“I love Gahyeon.” Three words. One sentence. One name that wasn’t her.
It was short but meaningful. You didn’t regret. You were straight. You didn’t apologize for either hurting her or not choosing her. You said it. And that broke SuA.
“I shouldn’t have let you go.” Those were the words that escaped SuA's mouth as she realized it was too late and where it all went wrong for her—where she lost. You helped her. She looked so frail. What did she even do all this time?
“Noona…” SuA wiped her tears and quickly composed herself. 
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” SuA faked a smile and you returned it to her with a caring one.
“I’ll be off your back, don’t worry,” SuA said as she tried to walk away. You stopped her. You held her hand, but just like what you did earlier.
“Where are you going?” You asked her worriedly.
“Don’t worry, I already told Minji-yah that I’ll be coming back. I ain’t going nowhere,” She explained as she walked away.
“Let’s catch up soon.” 
She looked back. 
She smiled bittersweetly. 
“Tell me, when did you realize that you love her?” Those were her last words before she walked away and left you speechless. However, maybe it wasn’t really what she wanted to ask, but rather the words were…
“When did you realize you didn’t really love me?”
It didn’t take long before SuA was no longer in sight. And her words are still stuck in your head. When? When did you really realize it? 
Take out your phone. Stare at the picture of the woman on your wallpaper, Gahyeon. 
When did I realize I love you?
That’s a really funny question. 
But really. 
It was maybe sometime after we officially started dating. 
Honestly, I wasn’t sure yet. I knew I loved Bora-unnie or so I thought I loved her. I wasn’t sure. I was confused at that time. But I did my best to make you happy. 
To try to make it with you. 
I said I love you. We kissed already. We even had sex already at that time. I’m cruel aren’t I? I’ll probably go to hell for being a liar. 
I knew I didn't love you yet. I felt disgusted with myself. You were like a sister to me after all. And I was lying and taking advantage of your feelings for me. 
But… 
Love is a Lie. 
I said and I knew it was a lie. 
But I wished, for one day… I’ll be able to truly tell you without any lies. To be able to kiss you out of love. To be able to be one with you. To want you as much as you wanted me. 
To love you more than you love me. 
One day… 
It happened. 
It wasn’t like I expected it to be. 
It was a normal day. It wasn’t anything special. 
I just woke up and that was when I realized… 
I love you, Gahyeon. 
When I saw your face the moment I opened my eyes. You were far from your beautiful self in front of the camera. You were ugly. Your hair was like a broom. You were snoring. Your breath stinks. You were eating your hair and you had dried drool on the sides of your lips. 
You were ugly, Gahyeon. 
It made me laugh. Although, I wasn’t any better. I was just fortunate enough to wake up earlier than you. I had time to fix myself before I got called ugly by you. 
But I didn't…
I went for the kiss on your drool-painted lips. Mine wasn’t any different. 
But this time it was different. 
I kissed you because I love you. 
I love you.
Not anyone else.
How could I be so blind when you were here all along?
I kissed you again and it felt so right.
But I accidentally woke you up.
You were smiling. That was the brightest smile I've ever seen in my life. You giggled as the sun funneling through the window illuminated you.
“Your breath stinks,” you teased.
“Please, brush your teeth then come back and kiss me,” you added.
It was funny. Yours stinks too! I didn't mind it at all, and I bet you didn't mind mine too.
That morning was a drop of dew. And I just watched you with love. The way you walked around with your disheveled hair and just my shirt on. You didn't care at all. Why would you? It's just me, the man you love.
You were so lazy that I had to brush your teeth and tie up your hair. If only your fans could see you, I wonder how they would react?
You're a slowpoke, Gahyeon. I couldn't blame you though, with a schedule as busy as yours. I would use any free time to laze around.
“When will breakfast be ready?!” You exclaimed from the bathroom while I was in the kitchen. You always cared about food.
“In a few minutes, take your time with your routine!” You were sleepy and lazy but you were always so diligent. You never skip on anything. You always took care of yourself. Although, most of the time, I still had to take care of you.
Maybe, that's my job.
“Gah! Breakfast is ready!”  When breakfast was finally ready, you sprinted to the dining table. You were suddenly but then became sheepish. You took most bites with your eyes closed.
From then I took a mental note to prepare something that would help you sleep better every night before bed.
You took each bite excitedly but still sheepishly. You hummed as you ate. You always hum when you eat. It has always been an indicator that you were eating something delicious. 
“This sucks. Do you want to take cooking lessons?” That was what you right after when you literally handed your plate for a second serving. 
I gladly gave it to you. Do you remember? 
That morning was so bright, comfortable, and was fleeting. Before I knew it, you were going to leave for practice and I was going to work. 
However, I wasn’t sad because we were parting for the day, rather, I was already expecting the bliss that I would have when I finally met in the night. 
It was such a peculiar thing, but I knew right then and there when I saw your back passing through my apartment door… 
I love you. 
“I should go back to Gahyeon,” You muttered to yourself as you made your way back to your hotel room, but unbeknownst to you, you would find an empty room. You wondered where she was. Did she meet SuA? Or did she somewhere else?
You were worried. You tried to text her and also tried to ask the hotel staff if they saw a pink-haired girl roaming. You might have taken too long because of SuA and she went out to look for you.
That was when you received a reply from Gahyeon.
“Wait for me.” That was what her text message said.
Where were you Gahyeon?
“Unnie,” Gahyeon called who was waiting at the other end of the hallway for SuA. The older stopped and looked at the younger. Did she he—
“I saw and heard everything.” For the first Gahyeon admitted that she was there or that she was listening. She always kept to herself and was always patient whenever something like this happened, but tonight Gahyeon decided differently. 
“Not gonna welcome your unnie back? I just came back from a long hiatus,” SuA commented as they faced each other. Two women, who love the same men, but while the other succeeds, the other fails.
“Well, I would be happy to welcome you with a hug and a kiss but you just tried to steal my boyfriend,” Gahyeon answered with an annoyed tone.
“I didn’t try to steal him,” SuA corrected as she approached Gahyeon step-by-step. The younger stepped backward every time the older closed in up until she couldn’t, hitting the wall behind her. SuA was so closed, uncomfortably closed for Gahyeon, but she didn’t backed down.
“He’s mine to begin with,”—No one dared to break eye contact—“He loves m—”
“He loved you, Bora,” Gahyeon cut. She said so sternly and clearly, even opting not to use any honorifics. SuA bit her lip in response to what Gahyeon said. She knew deep down it was true. She just couldn’t accept it. 
“He loved you,”—Gahyeon reiterated before SuA could even retort—“What? Cat’s got your tongue? It’s true is it not?”
Gahyeon had put SuA in her place or rather, she had put her back in her place. It was harsh, but SuA was reckless. She came out of nowhere and tried to hijack their anniversary night. It was almost as if SuA went there and just hoped for the best and trusted the little hope she had. Gahyeon, on the other hand, didn’t think twice to defend her place.
“I shouldn’t have pitied y—” SuA said before biting her lip as she instantly regretted what she had said, but it was too late. Gahyeon after hearing what SuA said, had a hammer punched in her stomach. She wasn’t expecting SuA to at least not say those words. Or at least for SuA not to feel that way. Gahyeon knew her and you happened partly because SuA felt bad about her, but for it to be said in her face…
Something inside of them broke, and a bottomless pit sunk inside of their hearts.
“I don’t know you anymore.” Gahyeon pushed her, and SuA fell to the ground. She didn’t mean to push her down to the ground, just enough to put distance between the two of them. Her heart ached. Gahyeon was worried as she looked down on her as the older looked away in shame.
“Please don’t call me or him. I don’t care about our jobs. Please, I’ll find a way. Just leave.” Gahyeon walked away and SuA could only watch her as tears once again flowed out of her eyes. She knew she had not only lost you, but now she lost Gahyeon. 
Gahyeon wasn’t any better, she cried and wept as she took heavy steps fully knowing she had just cut off one of the most important people in her life. They both didn’t want for things to end up like this, but emotions cascaded like a waterfall and there was no way of stopping this. There was no way it could have ended with all parties happy—it was simply impossible.
Love takes.
Love is painful.
Love comes with a price.
Gahyeon clearly remembered. She didn’t want things to end up this way. She tried. A scenario where no one was hurt, but in the end… all of you ended up hurting. It was foolish to hope. Gahyeon wiped her tears and found somewhere to sit. She closed her eyes.
“Gahyeonie, wake up.” I opened my eyes and my eyes met with daggers of light before I saw her—the face of the person I was most jealous of. SuA, who was asleep beside me.  SuA who made love with me and my boyfriend.
“Swa, good morning,” I greeted, still half-asleep.
“Good morning, Baby.” She caressed my face. Her eyes… They looked so sad. She looked like she was in pain, but she smiled.
“What's wrong, Unnie? I asked worriedly. Although, once again I knew… I knew but I couldn't do anything. Or I wouldn't do anything. I would die if I were to give back what she gave me.
‘Gahyeonie, do you love him?” SuA said, almost choking on her words.
“Yes, I love him so much. I have loved him for so long.” Those were my words. Those were also the words that drove you like this.
I'm sorry for being selfish.
“Unnie, do you love him?” I asked her once again. The same question from the night before.
“I do,” She confessed, and tears started to flow down her cheeks, staining her pretty face. She confessed… it came straight from her mouth. Her true feelings.
“But I love you more.” Those words… I didn't even know how to react. It was so sincere.
I wiped her tears, but I was crying too. Everything was a mess, and honestly, I was surprised how you slept through all of it.
When you woke up, it was as if nothing happened. We had a pleasant breakfast but the atmosphere was so awkward.
But I didn't expect it. That was the last I would see SuA for a long time. She just left. If I knew I would have hugged her. But I only found out later on from JiU-unnie that she left the country and went on a sudden hiatus.
If I knew…
I should have known at that moment.
It was goodbye.
That is until now.
Gahyeon opened her eyes. She had calmed down. She stopped crying. She knew she had to return to your suite. You were waiting for her, but she knew you would notice her puffy eyes.
That she cried a lot.
“So much for an anniversary night,” Gahyeon muttered as she stood up to head to a comfort room before going back to the suite where you were waiting.
Soon, Gahyeon stood in front of the door. Nervous about how she would explain what happened or how to open up about the topic or how to even talk about it. She wasn't ready, but she knew you would ask.
“Please, don’t ask.” She grabbed the doorknob and turned it. As the door swung, she found you, and couldn’t help but smile as she found you pacing back and forth, worried about her. 
“Gahyeon!” You exclaimed. You saw her and ran up to her—finally relieved that Gahyeon had come back. 
Before she could even react, she was engulfed by your arms in a bear hug. Her arms enveloped back as yours tightened. Hearts were booming. You could feel it, she could feel it, every fast-paced beat booming as your hearts connected.
Gahyeon had let go. She just let it happen. She didn’t speak, she just nestled into the comfort and protection of your hug. It was her home. It was warm yet something cold on your chest countered it. It was your shirt wetted by the diamonds dripping down her beautiful face. You caressed her back, trying to lull the crying girl as Gahyeon buried her face against your chest.
“It’s okay.” Gahyeon clenched her teeth and fists, took a handful of the backside of your shirt, and bit on the fabric her mouth was able to reach. She just kept crying without uttering a word. She just released what she was holding back inside of her. 
It broke your heart seeing her like this. You couldn’t do anything but caress her back and hope that it was enough to ease her pain. Several minutes passed and she wasn’t calming down. You kissed her forehead and she looked up to you.
“Do you love me?” Gahyeon asked, her eyes pleading for reassurance as they continuously stained her face with tears. You kissed her once again, but this time it wasn’t your lips and her forehead, it was her lips and yours colliding softly for a peck. She smiled brightly. You haven’t even said the words she wanted to hear, but her eyes already lit up as if she knew it was coming.
“I love you.” The words were finally uttered and it was all that was needed for Ghayeon to wrap her arms around your neck. Pull in. Let go. Hug it. Before you even knew it, your lips collided with hers once again. Close your eyes. She captured your lips and pulled you into a longing hungry kiss. Knots were tied, and two soft marshmallow muscles clashed, moving with the rhythm of her hunger.
She was a blackhole longing for love. It was scary how a woman in pain like her craved love like this. It wasn’t a sweep inside your mouth as she playfully tickled the underside of your tongue while exploring the depths only she could reach.
Gahyeon pulled out, caught her breath, and chased once again as she lured you. She started sucking on your tongue, and you gladly let her without any resistance. She pulled and sucked. She circled her tongue around yours.
Seconds passed by and the endless exchange between lips didn’t end. Seconds became minutes, and tears already stopped flowing, but the fervent kiss didn’t end there. It started with a peck and it ended up in a torrid kiss. Eyes closed and lips glued to each other. Her arms traveled around your neck while yours gently caressed her hair.
She pulled out and a string of saliva bridged the two of you. Her eyes still brimming with hunger as yours locked with her lovingly. She wanted more and you would gladly give anything for her. 
“Do you love me?” Gahyeon asked once again. This time you were the one to capture her lips and Gahyeon couldn’t help but smile while her lips were still connected to yours. Glide from her back to her lower hips as Gahyeon cupped your cheeks as she continued devouring you.
In one swoop motion, you lifted her off the ground, resulting in a momentary disconnection between the two of you. That didn’t matter though as she was quick to clash lips once again while you tried to excruciatingly navigate around the suite to get into the bedroom almost blindly. 
You had hit several corners. Topped down appliances and broke a few glasses before you found a counter to sit Gahyeon on. It wasn't the destination, but you soon would get there but for now.
She was laughing and smiling, you were in a crazy haze. You pulled back. Eyes locked as the playful hands grabbed onto the ends of her black dress. You didn't waste any moment as her porcelain skin revealed itself as you peeled that dress off her—from the tips of her toes, her luscious legs, toned stomach, and torso. A momentary break of eye contact as the garment blocked your sight of her.
Look up and down. Magnificence exuded as inch and every corner of her felt it was sculpted by a higher being itself. Her porcelain skin felt like clouds on your palm, and the way her body subtlety reacted… each touch shivers, each touch was electrifying.
Gahyeon wasn't one to just be the one almost on her birthday with only her matching black lingerie. She pulled you by the hand, grabbed your shirt, and didn't waste any moment to remove it. She ogled at you—it was a sight for her—it was the prize that was for hers alone.
“You’re mine,” Gahyeon said, asserting her ownership over you as she bit her lips, almost drolling while eyeing you. She didn't waste any more time as she pulled even closer for another make-out session—this time more athirst. Each feathery touch made her more hungry, intoxicated, and addicted. Kisses were her morphine—each one made her forget the pain and put her on a high.
“I’m yours.” You broke the kiss. You traveled from her lips to her left ear as you engulfed her for a hug. She wrapped her leg around your hips. The distance was small. It didn’t allow any wild movement, but that was okay, being able to see her gorgeous face up close was more than enough. This time she was smiling. You had only seen it through your peripheral vision, but her lips, her eyes, they both were happy.
“Shut up, carry me to the bed, and fuck me,” Gahyeon ordered. Giggles left your mouth as you gently carried her off the countertop table. She hugged you and nestled on your shoulders. She rested and relished once again taking advantage of the comfort of your warmth.
Soon you laid her down on the bed. While you caught your breath, you took a moment to once again look at the art in front of you. She wasn’t crying. Gahyeon was happy. She was anticipating. She was like a kid waiting for her request to be granted. You could stare at her all day, but her order, you needed it as much as she did.
You smirked at her as you unbuckled your pants and stripped down to your birthday suit. She smirked back and taunted you with her body. She didn’t have any intention to remove her lingerie. She wanted you to do it. Although fucking her with that sexy lingerie still on was still also an option, you wanted her to be as bare as you were—completely naked and vulnerable.
“Why are you so lazy?” You grabbed the hem of her black thong and tried to peel it off her. It was stubborn, and her ass held on to it. You lifted that peach ass of hers that she spent so much time in the gym to achieve for a moment just to get it off, began to slowly remove it off her lips, making its way down her smooth and slender porcelain legs, and revealed a treasure, her smooth, glistening pink lips.
You wanted a taste. You wanted to tease her. So you dove right into the treat in front of you. You started with kisses up and down her inner thighs, gaining soft moans while your lips repeatedly contacted her warm skin. You planted wet kisses on her thighs again, but this time dangerously near her wet folds.
“Just do it already.” Gahyeon was already squirming. She wanted it, and a lick down her thighs, staining her pristine thighs with long licks garnered even more moans. You giggled mischievously while she was getting more and more impatient, but before she could complain once again, the first lick came in, tracing her pink slit—one long sweet taste of her wet folds. 
Teasing her might have backfired as she grabbed onto your head, and pushed you in her legs forcibly, forcing you to continue eating her. You didn’t have any choice, buried in her crotch, you accepted your fate, and her delicious pussy. Explore every corner. Reach the deepest depths. You dove in to find out how deep your tongue could reach inside her. You basked and inhaled the aroma of her pussy. You didn’t let any of her juices pass your mouth. And Gahyeon took it all in, receiving all of it, moaning and expressing how pleasurable it was all.
You let your hot breath blow against her crotch, and she whined in response. Quickly, you went in with an up-and-down motion deep inside using your tongue. She cussed, she moaned, and she quivered as you continued eating her out.
“More!” She exclaimed as if that was the cue, you put pressure on her clit. You swirled around it, gaining louder and more high-pitched moans as you ran circular patterns on it. Push and swirl. You gently pushed it with your tongue, then took it in your mouth and sucked on her clit.
Her legs squished, and her nails dug in deeper and deeper as every second passed by. She pushed you deeper in hopes that your tongue would reach deeper inside her slits. It was getting harder to breathe as minutes went by. Your head was going numb from the pain from her nails digging. Her wet pussy almost drowned you. Buried against her crotch, all you could do was go crazy, trying to taste and service her as much as you can, sucking her wet and delicious pussy as you turned Gahyeon into a squirming mess.
The only option was to tap out. You forcibly disengaged, simultaneously edging her. It wasn’t time for her to reach her climax, and it wasn’t time yet for a death by thighs head locking you. You licked your lips and caught your breath. You smirked fully knowing what you did as you tenderly caressed her thighs while she pouted.
“What are you looking at?” You teasingly snarked at her, and she glared at you before you got on top of her. You weren’t one to keep her waiting when you just edged her. And just like any other time before and now, you lined the tip of your cock up against the opening of her entrance and captured her lips for a kiss as you pushed—slowly and caringly, entering her inch by inch smoothly inside of her already soaking wet quim.
Gahyeon hugged every bit of your cock. She was perfectly wet and perfectly tight every time, and it was always cute how she was also perfectly cute, innocent, and sexy at the same time. Sex with her had always been a mix of comfort and excitement. With Gahyeon you wouldn’t call it sex, it was the ever-cliched lovemaking.
You started fucking her, slowly, sensually, and carefully. It was different from how you teased her and edged. You pressed bodies, allowing each other to relish the warmth of each other. You let her feel you gravitating against her. Gahyeon had your weight on top of her and she had always loved it. It felt like the sun, warm on the skin, but it didn't burn. Sweaty and almost smelly but it felt cold and fresh to be so close to her. Again and again, like clockwork, you slowly pull your member out from her, but as soon as your tip peeked out of her, you bury yourself deep inside her, causing a melody of her pleasure getting fill up.
“I love you,” she uttered in between her moans.
Again, pull, and push.
“I love you too.”
Now that you had built a slow and steady rhythm, you gradually upped the pace. Faster but not so sudden. The goal was to induce pleasure and not pain, pushing in but within the comfort of your lover just as she loved as both of you became moaning messes—quick huffed breaths—sounds of sex only the two of you know of. The smell of sex, sweat, and saliva lingered in the air. Moans, squelching noises, profanities, proclamations of love, and chased breaths, roared inside that hotel room, accompanied by the warmth of each other.
You started pounding her, faster and more vigorously than before. Full of vigor but full of control. A little bit rough but Gahyeon wrapped her leg around your lips nonetheless, she wouldn’t want you breaking off her while you thrust and looked at her with the desire to pleasure her. Her eyes shut close and she became louder, screaming at the pleasure of your cock.
For Gahyeon this kind of physical intimacy was a form of assurance to ease her fear. Gahyeon feels your love the most when you two are connected. Sex is the highest form of love. Sex is the greatest expression of it. The heat she was relishing, the roughness, the gentleness, the pain, and the pleasure were evidence of love. 
It was a treasure how your palm caressed her cheek underneath all that mess. After all, she was a mess and you were a mess, but there was this certain kind of beauty and order amidst all of that and only you two knew of it—only your love knew of it.
There was no time for rest as you as that climax was coming. She didn’t want you to stop fucking, and you didn’t want to either. You fucked her hard and fast. It was a high that you knew too much of. A drug that was only available for you. A medicine that heals Gahyeon and you, but keeps you addicted. It was a contradiction, amidst all that high and intoxication, being lost in the trance of pleasure, you didn’t get lost and chased the pleasure for you alone. You chased her pleasure, and she chased your pleasure, aiming to please each other.
You found her breast, still clothed in her black brassiere. You squeezed and she whined in response and quickly tried to get rid of it, reaching for her straps and setting them aside before flipping them to expose her bountiful mounds. You dove right onto it, took her hardened nippled, and suck on it while massaging the other breast. It was softer than marshmallows, it was like you were kissed by a cloud.
However, you didn’t forget fucking her, you thrust as you sucked like a baby on Gahyeon’s breast. All Gahyeon could do was to receive all of it, and hug your head, hoping it would help you eat her better. 
It was time to give attention to the unattended boob. You removed yourself from her boob and left red marks all over her breasts, and a lingering feeling of stretch on her nipple, saliva all over it. You did the same to the other boob, suckles, bites, kisses, peck, smack, smooch, and snog, all the things you could to do to make her release those lovely sounds and to compel her to hug you more tightly and to enable yourself to feel her warmth more, get buried on her breast more.
Although you couldn’t give her boob as much attention at the one as she pulled you up for a momentary rest. You made eye contact with you and chased your breath. Get pulled by her brown orbs. The tips of her lips raised, showcasing her iconic fox smile. Her eyes were as dazed as yours, but she still gazed at you lovingly before uttering the words, “Kiss me.”
“I love you, Lee Gahyeon.” You gladly complied and dove right into kissing her. Gahyeon cupped your cheeks. It was an amorous kiss you shared. A kiss to last a lifetime. One of too many. Certainly not the last but you kissed her as if it was the last. It was as sweet as the first though. You slowed down your pace to allow yourself to relish it more, the way your cock stirred her insides, the it twitches after hitting her deepest parts every time, the way it filled her, the way her lips connect to yours, the way you fuck her while you two shared a loving kiss, and the way she loves you.
Soon a knot in your loins introduced itself to you. What she was chasing for you eventually came and without breaking the kiss of the movement of your hips. You felt a built-up in your groins as her quim clenched, and tightened around your cock. It was time for her too. She tightened her hug, nails dug into your back as you slammed deep inside and pulled her out again and again until you could no longer hold it another.
One last time for the last run, putting in all of your remaining stamina. You fucked like you had every intention to impregnate her. Both of you groan in great pleasure as you let loose to release wave after wave of your thick semen deep inside her while quivered, shut her eyes, bit your lips, and bucked her hips as her orgasm collided with you. An instant climax, and delight, with her plugged pussy leaking out juices that were mixed with her fluids yours.  Her orgasm was strong as all of that built up in her stomach released a wave of ecstasy.
The high felt like forever. The satisfaction was great. Both climaxes subsided and you felt your flaccid member slipping out of her, and her pussy finally unplugged, leaked out your cum. After a few seconds of being frozen in place, Gahyeon released your lip and you let out a sigh of relief before licking the blood off your lip. You collapsed beside her and she turned to face you and hugged you as she tried to recover from the hot session herself.
“I love you too.” Gahyeon gave you a peck, resulting in you blushing. Out of embarrassment you turned your back on her, stood up to get tissues and that thing, and hid it underneath the box of tissues. You went back to the bed and helped her wipe herself and lean off the leaking semen in between her legs. She was smiling mischievously as you wiped her as if she was planning to tease you. 
“Why are you acting shy? You’re wiping as if that’s not your cum and you didn’t just eat my pussy.” Her words made you choke and she just laughed heartily. Gahyeon was back to her usual self—cheerful and teasing master. 
“I’m not, I’m just thinking about how much I love you.”
You reasoned out. It was far from what she said, but it was the truth. Looking back to all that happened, you couldn’t help but just be happy and relief that you ended up this way. It might be just a hunch but it felt like things would finally get better from here on. It was a little bit chaotic but you finally settled it with SuA. You didn’t choose Gahyeon instead of SuA. You just love Gahyeon and there wasn’t even a competition. What happened with SuA and your feelings for her won’t be forgotten, but it was a lesson. A lesson you would take as you journey with Gahyeon.
Gahyeon is love.
“Why do you have to think about that when you just have to show me?” Gahyeon gazed at you. Her eyes were full of expectation. She was looking far ahead. Looking at the things you two will do from now on. You were looking forward to it too. Gahyeon is the loveliest girl and she isn’t one to hide her love. You just hope to be more like her, and be more confident of your love for her.
“Yes, I’ll do that from now on,” You answered her. You took her hand and smiled at her lovingly. Love was truly bare. Your feelings were as bare as your naked bodies as both of you wore your hearts out. And looking at her, you knew it was time. 
You took her left hand and kissed it. Gahyeon just smiled, not suspicious of anything as you reached for the ring you had hidden earlier. Gahyeon just watched. Her eyes showed a hint of confusion. You just continued smiling. Although, maybe there was a hint of nervousness and awkwardness.
“Gahyeon…” You call for her before kissing your fist, still not revealing the ring you had inside it. At this point, Gahyeon already had an idea of what was happening. Tears formed in her eyes with the anticipation of it. And she was right as you revealed the ring. Her mouth kept agape, surprised, and couldn’t believe what was about to happen. Gahyeon’s puppy eyes were both in shock and filled with bliss. 
It felt like your heart was about to burst out of nervousness. Will she say yes? Will she decline? Those questions played in your head on repeat as you held the ring tightly. It was an expensive ring or anything that could put a hole in your pockets, but it was something more important. The heirloom ring from your mother. An old piece of gold jewelry with a humble diamond.
“Will you marry me?” You finally asked her and beads of clear crystal started flowing down her beautiful face. You let of her hand and wipe them off.
“Stop crying will you?” You said to her but you started crying also. With the ring, you imagined dreams of seeing her in that white dress, walking down the aisle while you wait for her at the altar. You’ll spend time off for a vacation, a honeymoon on the beachside—you know how much Gahyeon loves the beach. Maybe even starting your own family.
Fingers fidget, and hearts boomed. Time slowed down at that moment in that hotel room. You panicked and weren’t sure if you would wipe her tears first or wipe yours first, but you opted for a third option. You took her left hand once again, and carefully put the ring on her finger.
“Yes, I will marry you!” Gahyeon didn’t stop crying, but she didn’t seem sad at all. The smile painted all over her face said it all, and seeing that made you feel warm inside. It was burning, but it didn’t hurt at all. Neither of you stopped crying but it was okay. 
It was a beautiful moment to share. She hugged you tightly, and you reciprocated until you found yourself sharing a kiss. A lovely kiss. Then once again locked eyes, gazing at each other, ever smiling and happy.
Her smile was beautiful. Her happiness was the most beautiful thing to exist. And you’ll do anything to protect that.
Yes, just like that day.
That one cold winter night.
We were out late because of a schoolwork project. The other kids had already gone home and were the only ones to go in the same direction so we walked together. Well, I wouldn’t let a girl walk home that late at night.
We were walking and at that time, we weren’t particularly close or friends yet.
But we ended up talking.
You talked about your dreams. And I talked about mine.
It was just fun.
And maybe,
That was when I started developing something for you.
Well, I realized too late that it was love.
But maybe at that moment, I fell in love with you unknowingly.
All of you were just too beautiful.
The moon bore witness to it.
Your laughs.
Your smile.
Your eyes.
Your dream.
Your everything.
That was when Jasmines bloomed in winter.
Aletheia & Etterath
*Series End*
***
A/N - idk did I do something? i think it's bad HAHAHAH
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churipu · 4 months
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https://www.tumblr.com/ipinvrse/737019535695249408/hiii-i-can-ask-for-jjk-men-your-choice-with-a
This is great!! But now im thinking about "Looks like they could kill you, but is actually a cinnamon roll" gf lol
Could you maybe do that ?
JJK MEN + "LOOKS LIKE COULD KILL YOU, IS A CINNAMON ROLL" GIRLFRIEND
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featuring. itadori yuuji, geto suguru, fushiguro megumi x reader
warnings. cursing
note. hi anonn <33 the previous one of this got so much notes and i'm glad you liked it as well omg, sorry this one took so long. i hope you like it! mwah mwah
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ITADORI YUUJI. he's always viewed you as someone who doesn't need any help — so he only does when you actually asks him for help verbally. for instance, people have always viewed you as someone "not nice", the first time yuuji met you, you had a deep scowl painting your face that it made him nervous.
he assumed you didn't like anyone. so he never thought of striking up a conversation with you.
but yuuji grew to like you as time passes by, the scowl on your face was just a barrier to hide this "sweetheart" facade of yours. you're actually very nice despite the permanent scowl and furrowed brows. his view on you changed when you helped him after unexpectedly running to him around the corner.
"sorry, i wasn't looking where i was going," you tell him with a small smile, reaching your hand for him to take. and he did.
he swore that time he felt his heart flutter at the new point of view — ever since then, whenever he sees you, he's not nervous from fear; but he's nervous because he likes you.
the clammy hands that he gets when he sees you, or the way the tip of his ears turn red when you shot him a smile you wouldn't give to other people — or even the way he feels a smile tugging on the corner of his lips whenever he could hear your voice, both in person or through the phone.
when he confessed, yuuji didn't expect you to like him back. so he just told you he needed to tell you his feelings without listening to what you had to say, after that, he's gone — he ran away and hid in his room. avoiding you here and there.
not until you actually showed up in front of his door, a sheepish smile on your face and you were holding a small bouquet of flowers. when he opened the door, he expected gojo, or megumi, or kugisaki. but no; it was you. you were standing in front of his door.
"hey yuuji, you weren't...replying to my messages or talking to me, so i hope you don't mind me showing up here without telling you beforehand," you tell him, shoving the bouquet into his arms.
of course yuuji had to let you in, awkwardly pacing around and on his knees as you sat down on the ground, "i..it's a mess, i didn't know you were coming so i didn't have the time to clean up—"
"don't worry about it, i'm here to see you, aren't i?"
that day, you told yuuji how you felt the same. it was a small confession, but he asks you to be his girlfriend after that. today, a few months later — people don't know deep into your relationship, they just thought, "oh, y/n is probably the one who leads a lot in the relationship, she's always so serious."
but no, yuuji knows you better than anyone. behind that scowl of yours is something yuuji wants for himself, he finds it selfish, but he didn't care. he likes it when you only show your sweet side to him (not that you show it to anyone in general), and he often hear people talking about how serious you are that he could only laugh (they don't know).
if yuuji could describe you with one word, it would be clingy. he thought he was clingy, but you? god, you were even clingier than he is (in a good way) — he finds it endearing that you'd put up this tough look in front of other people, but when it's just you two alone, you turn into this cute girl he never expected to see. but he loves it.
so when people talk about how serious you are, or how angry you always look, yuuji would just laugh at them because they don't know you like he does (and he doesn't want them to know).
GETO SUGURU. everyone around him probably knows how soft and gentle he is. geto is a soft spoken man, and when he introduced you as his girlfriend — everyone was a tad bit surprised. as they expected geto to be with a girl who's also as soft spoken, calm, and not someone like you.
someone who walks around with a deep scowl like it's your whole personality (which kinda is), and would never talk to anyone unless spoken to. you had your reasons though, you felt like it was pointless to speak a lot, people can just use it against you, so you talk when you needed to do it.
but that doesn't mean you're a bad person.
it wasn't a surprise when you hear people often shit-talk about your relationship with geto and how he deserves better than you. or how there were so may girls better than you, or even how they said that you probably treat geto like shit. you always try to shut it down by telling yourself you don't care about these people — but geto, he's your boyfriend; of course he knows you better, maybe even better than yourself.
"y'alright, baby?" he asks, threading his fingers onto your hair as you laid in between his spread out legs, leaning your back onto his chest.
"yeah, just thinking."
don't even try to lie, he could see right through you. he'd hate to push you with something you don't want to talk about, so the first time he didn't push you to say it. he offers hugs and kisses the whole night, but when tomorrow your frown never ceased, he of course follows up on it, and when you tell him the exact excuse like yesterday — he just figured that he'll do it his way.
"thinking about?"
"nothing, don't worry about it. it's pointless."
you were about to get up when he pulled you back, forcing your head to lay on his lap, "'ts not pointless if you're thinking about it, yeah?" he smiles down at you and you puckered your lips out in annoyance, knowing one way or another, geto is right.
"'s just..these people have been saying things. and i don't like it, i try to tell myself they'll stop when they get tired, but they don't seem to get tired at all." he caressed your face as you explained what's been bothering you, "and i'm starting to think that maybe they're right, y'know? maybe you do deserve better than me, sugu."
geto's face hardened a little and he leaned his face close to you, "what was that?" oh he was so upset. but not at you, he was upset at these people, and himself — upset that he hasn't done anything about it.
"i... forget about it."
"what do they look like?"
"what?" you ask him, blinking feverishly.
"these people," he mutters out, his breath fanning your face — you tell him what they look like and thought nothing of it, "'m sorry they made you think like that, but don't ever say that again, y'hear me?"
you smiled up at him and chuckled, "you have my words."
geto loves that you only show this side to him, and he had a "talk" with these exact people. so now words aren't going around anymore, no more shit talking, just you and geto in a happy relationship.
MEGUMI FUSHIGURO. megumi finds your unshakable character charming, that's why he fell for you in the first place. when he first met you, with the apparent frown on your face looking like you despised everything that comes in your way, megumi found it intriguing. so he tries anything to find out about you, asking from his upperclassmen.
he skipped asking gojo because he knew gojo would poke fun on him for it — but at the end of the day, gojo being a teacher did help a lot, minus the mocking that comes after.
"megumi has a crush," gojo sings out.
"i do not." yes he does.
gojo is a loud mouth, so words gone around pretty fast about megumi having a crush on you. unfortunately, it reached your ears and you pulled him over when he was passing by, and in his eyes — it seemed like you were glaring deeply at him, so he finds himself a little intimidated by you.
"heard from someone that you like me," you started out bluntly, and that was enough for megumi to blush furiously.
stumbling over his words as he tried to reply back to you, he mumbled out a few apologies, but you smiled at him, "that's great, i like you too!"
it was an oh. oh. situation for megumi, he just never expected that his feelings would be reciprocated, by you. by someone who looks like she would murder everyone who goes in her way or sight — but nonetheless, he was pretty happy about it although he didn't show it.
and surprisingly, megumi finds a new side to you that he never expected at all. you being clingy, your lips plastered in a soft smile, and just..all flowers and rainbows and sunshine.
megumi was entranced. everyday he sees you, he just falls even more. at one point, he couldn't help but to let it all slip out, telling you how happy he is with all of this and how he loves you a lot. but that's a one time thing, he never did it again (he tries not to slip out again).
"gumi!" he finds himself catching your body, a small smile on his face, "missed you."
"...me too."
he's always thought you'd be more of a calm person (at first), with all that facade of yours, but now — he sees you as a whole different person, he loves how clingy you are, and he loves how you sometimes depended on him. it makes him feel like a boyfriend.
he's smitten for you.
but he won't say it, you just have to wait for him to let it slip out.
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© CHURIPU 2023 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE !
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riddlerosehearts · 4 months
Text
thinking about how people who watch the emperor's new groove and somehow come out of it shipping pacha and kuzco, or thinking yzma only became evil when kuzco fired her and that she would've been a better ruler than him, are both so wrong in so many different ways and are also missing one of the things that i absolutely love about the movie. which is that, the way i see it, pacha and yzma are counterparts. as parental figures to kuzco.
like, just to get this out of the way first, yzma was a dismissive asshole to a peasant whose family was starving. and yeah, if kuzco had been in her place he definitely would've also done that, which... is why she would not be a better ruler than him. she'd just be the same because they're both horrible people in the exact same ways. her reaction to being fired is to plot murder, and as soon as his funeral is over she sets everyone to work on replacing paintings of kuzco with paintings of herself and covering the palace with imagery that makes it clear that it's all about her now. i'm not even sure why this is a discussion tbh.
and also, kuzco is literally a teenager. he's barely 18 years old. source: in the movie, yzma says at his funeral that kuzco was "taken from us so tragically on the very eve of his eighteenth birthday." she also claims in the movie to have "practically raised" him, to which kronk replies "yeah, you'd think he would've turned out better". and sure, she could be exaggerating, but what evidence do we have that she is? we learn absolutely nothing of his parents, who are never mentioned even once in the movie, or of anyone else who could've raised him, and she's his advisor who for some reason sees no problem with attending to royal duties in his place. most likely because she's his regent. also, i'm not exactly a fan of the sequel tv series "the emperor's new school" but it does have something that backs up my point: kuzco is revealed to be an orphan and just before his father went and got lost at sea, he asked yzma (who was also his advisor) to take care of kuzco if anything happened to him. so, yeah, the writers who worked on the series clearly thought that yzma genuinely did raise kuzco, and nothing in the movie contradicts this.
and i find the idea of her being his only parental figure for pretty much his whole childhood incredibly interesting because, and this also goes back into why she wouldn't be a better ruler than him--she mirrors him as a reflection of what would've become of him if he'd never met pacha. they're both incredibly arrogant, power-hungry, selfish, and cruel, with a tendency to blame their problems on everyone but themselves. yzma was even originally going to have her own reprise of kuzco's theme song "perfect world", which i really wish had been kept:
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[ID: Lyrics that read:
I'Il be the sovereign queen of the nation And the chicest chick in creation I'm the cat with all the cream and ooh-la-la This deadly concentration Will put an end to my frustration Now this perfect world begins and ends with moi
What's my name? Yzma, Yzma, Yzma Yzma (what's my name?) Yzma, Yzma (What'd you say?) Yzma (Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!) Yzma. End ID]
(this song can be fully heard in "the sweatbox", the documentary about the making of the movie, and is also on youtube btw)
anyway, i'm sure yzma would not exactly have been the most nurturing or hands-on guardian, especially given that she and kuzco don't exactly treat each other like family. but it makes a lot of sense to think that her behavior influened kuzco's throughout the years. and for the entire movie, she remains determined to kill him. when he tries to reason with her and admits that he should've been nicer, she says the same thing to him that he originally said when he fired her. she never grows or changes and in the end, she hurts the one person who was willing to stand by her (and even then, kronk had never fully been on board with her plan) and he ends up trying to crush her with a chandelier. kuzco on the other hand is able to realize the error of his ways, come to regret who he was in the past, and start taking steps toward being a better person. his theme song gets a reprise where it's changed from a song about one person being the center of the world to a Power Of Friendship song. why? because, as i've already mentioned, he has pacha.
pacha, who similarly to both yzma and kuzco is in a position of authority as the leader of the village but unlike either of them is gentle and humble. who isn't afraid to stand up to kuzco and be honest with him even though he's the emperor, who agrees to take him back to the palace but has no obligation to be so helpful, kind, and caring toward him--and just about every reason not to be--and still chooses to be anyway. pacha who is 45 years old (also stated in the sweatbox documentary) and can see that kuzco is practically still a kid, not a single day over 18, who has time to grow and change. pacha, who already has a wife and two kids with another on the way, but practically treats kuzco like one of his own. who acknowledges that if kuzco dies all his problems will be gone and then still worries about him and goes out of his way to rescue him after he wanders into the jungle. who sees kuzco shivering at night and covers him with his poncho, who carries him when he's genuinely too weak to keep walking, who refuses to give up on him even after repeatedly being betrayed by him because he believes there's good in everyone.
also, while yzma ends up repeating kuzco's harsh words of dismissal as she tells him of her plans to kill him, kuzco had previously repeated pacha's words that "nobody's that heartless" after he saved pacha's life. and as the movie progresses kuzco and pacha's relationship becomes more and more equal and is constantly contrasted by moments of yzma being cruel and unappreciative of kronk's kindness. a good example of this is how kronk is constantly being forced to carry yzma everywhere on his back while yzma literally walks all over him and steps on his hands when she gets down, whereas when pacha briefly carries kuzco after the latter collapses he tells him he'll have to walk the rest of the way later and kuzco doesn't even protest.
idk if i'm even explaining well what i'm trying to say here. but basically, if yzma actually raised kuzco and contributed to his current behavior, then she and pacha both are figures who guided him and helped him grow. only yzma helped him become the tyrant that he was at the start of the movie, who was selfish and callous and saw everyone else as beneath him. whereas pacha helped him see the value in being selfless and considerate of others. and in the end, yzma is stuck as a cat and nobody is concerned about her. kronk has found a new job that makes him genuinely happy, while kuzco has decided to build a hut on the hill next to pacha's and effectively joined his family. in the sweatbox documentary it's even mentioned that chicha and the kids were at risk of being removed from the film, but it was decided that they needed to be there because having just pacha as a single guy who lived alone wasn't interesting enough--kuzco needed to go from having basically an empty world where he had nobody to being able to come together with pacha's whole family. and i just think that's incredibly satisfying and beautiful. it also leads up to one of the few things i really do enjoy about the emperor's new school, which is the fact that during the show kuzco moves in with pacha and chicha and pretty explicitly thinks of them as basically his parents while he's like a son to them.
idk. i feel like my mind went in a million different directions while i was writing all this. but i guess i just think that for all of the praise the emperor's new groove gets for its comedy and for how hilarious yzma and kronk in particular are as a duo, the movie also has a lot of genuine heart that gets overlooked. kuzco's character growth and his unique dynamic with pacha is, for me, really what elevates the movie from just a funny movie that i like to one of my favorite disney movies. and i wish more people appreciated that aspect of it and saw it as a found family story in the same way that treasure planet, brother bear, and lilo and stitch are all found family stories.
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pupmkincake2000 · 4 months
Text
Characters study?
Since I play as Gale, I wanted to look at relationships from his side and from my own, since I think that Gale and I have very similar beliefs regarding relationships.
Don't get me wrong, I love Halsin,
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he's an incredibly kind and caring teddy bear, but being in a relationship with him is not for everyone. And there are moments in the conversation with him that were very unpleasant for me. But I’m glad that he warned me in advance how he perceives a relationship with someone.
Yes, there are many people who are into polyamorous relationships, but I don’t think Gale is one of them, despite the opportunity to sleep with Halsin even when playing as Gale (I think that in this case some lines should not be available at all as it was with the Dark Urge, when you cannot resist your nature, even when playing a good character).
Now I will explain why.
Halsin honestly admits that monogamy is not for him. He considers us someone special, in fact, declares his love, but immediately says that we are not that special at all and he, even having entered into a relationship with us, will still be free to sleep with other people.
His words are not a lie, but they seem to contradict each other.
That is... there are more people who want to be something special, who want exclusivity from those they are dating than those who would prefer polyamory, I believe. In the case of Halsin, you will simply be just one of his huge number of lovers, and, perhaps, in another couple of decades, he will say those words about love and specialness to someone else, as he spoke to us. It's not mine cup of tea, to be honest. I am a selfish person, and I would like to be special for someone I love. And I really didn’t like that Halsin, without even knowing whether such a relationship suits me, says he hopes to sleep with the person I am dating too. This remark made me understand that although Halsin is still my type of men in appearance and character, he absolutely does not fit into my understanding of relationships, love and specialness. Let me remind you, I play Gale's origin and I am sure that Gale would also refuse and be disappointed.
Just like Astarion. And I will now explain why.
Literally Gale's entire problem and trauma is based on the fact that he wants to be loved,
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he wants to be cared for, seen, considered special (which in the case of Halsin will be impossible), he wants to be visible and significant. I know that playing his origin you are still able to choose any lines but... if you play Tav and romance him, Gale does not agree to share his love with someone else and does not agree to be shared too. I believe that Gail is monogamous, and not just monogamous, but he won't allow the thought that his loved one could be with someone else or that he himself could be with someone else while already being in a relationship. Such people rarely fall in love, they are like the wolves Halsin spoke about, who choose a lover for the rest of their lives. And no, I don’t think Mystra was such a lover. I'm sure Gale wants in a relationship not so much exclusivity, but to have something of his own. Something that no one can take away from him. Someone only his.
The same story with Astarion.
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He hasn’t had anything of his own for 200 years, and despite his mannerisms and flirting with everyone, he also wants to have something of his own, something that no one will take away from him, and something that will belong to him and to no one else. He is also desperately looking for someone who will be his. Only his. Yes, he agrees to a threesome, he agrees to share his lover with Halsin, but he clearly does not want this and agrees only because he is afraid of losing his love. He refuses to have sex with the drow twins, and if you agree, he will most likely end the romance with you. He is very afraid of not satisfying his lover; he wants to be desired and loved. He and Gale are very much alike when it comes to the relationship, although their reactions are different. Both want exclusivity. One speaks about it directly, the second one shouts about it with his behavior and body language.
I think that's why I love the ship so much.
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They both want the same thing, they just express their desires differently.
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oikasugayama · 5 months
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I just found your blog and love your writing and charts! I have a couple of requests for charts, dw if you don’t like them. First, the bsd boys on finding out you want to get their image tattooed on your body, they either love or hate the idea and maybe suggest where. Second, the bsd boys on a date with you at a fancy restaurant, you get horny and touch them under the table. Thanks!
Thank youuu!! I really like the second request!!
You touch him under the table during dinner with guests at a fancy restaurant...
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Akutagawa is too prideful to let anyone know what you're doing to him. He makes you stop so that he can punish you at home. Fukuzawa makes you stop and won't touch back because it's inappropriate.
Kunikida lets you go for a few seconds too long out of his own selfish desires, but he does make you stop and keeps it secret bc it's disrespectful to your dinner guests.
Ranpo lets you touch him but doesn't touch you back. If you try to make him cum it becomes a little obvious to some of the people you're dining with, but he doesn't announce it by any means
Junichiro and Atsushi don't tell the table but it's so obvious that they're getting really flustered because something must be happening. Junichiro makes you stop faster than Atsushi would. Atsushi would at least pet your thigh a little. Ango makes you stop immediately bc he can't risk you getting caught, but he also unintentionally lets the table know because he's obvious.
Bram makes you stop by interrupting conversation to say "don't touch me there, we're in public." Mori similarly says to your guests that you're touching him under the table, and that makes you stop, but he technically didn't remove your hand.
Oda paws at you a little bit and tries very hard to keep it a secret. When he gets worked up too much he stops and says you two have another commitment and need to leave (really he fucks you in the car). Mushitaro is similar; he definitely touches you back and when he gets too worked up he says you two need to leave. He's a bit more obvious than Oda.
Poe touches back but he's so whiny and squirmy that everyone knows what's happening and then he leaves and takes you with him.
SIGMA? The CASINO GUY? SLIGHT OF HAND IS HIS THING. He's whole ass making you cum under that table and no one is gonna know a fucking thing. Same goes for Tachihara, he's an ACTOR that man played the Hunting Dogs and the Port Mafia for a while. He's cumming and no one can tell.
Chuuya is down to get a handy under the table. Depending on who's at the table, he might not care if they realize, he thinks it might establish dominance.
Nikolai will let you rub him and will play with you back. He could probably use his ability to actually fuck you under the table as long as no one noticed his hips moving. He would straight up tell the dinner guests he's fucking you if they asked why he's moving so much.
Dazai and Fyodor are straight up telling the table, but in different ways. Dazai is throwing his head back and moaning and telling you it feels so good, and when the dinner guests look horrified he takes your hand and brings you to the bathroom to fuck you over the sink. Fyodor is very casually leaning his head on his hand, looking his guest in the eye, and somehow using you jerking him to belittle the guest. He'd say something with the essence of "you want me to help you, and i'm over here getting a handjob. we are not the same."
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