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faeriekit · 4 months

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"Okay." Danny slowly laid the already cold body back onto the table, ready to slide back it into the refuge of cold storage. "Okay. Dead guy. Stay there."

The body didn't move.

"Fantastic. Now. Hang out while I pour the embalming fluid into the pump, alright? It should only be a minute."

And it usually did; working in a funeral home wasn't extremely glamorous, but it paid the bills, and Danny had already been used to the rhyme and rhythm of negotiating death with the public by the time he sent in his mortuary school application. It had been a transition that made sense. And in the end, the degree had only cost him a few extra years post-graduation and a little dig into student loans, and now Danny had a stable 12-8 job and health insurance valid in the state of new jersey.

Today, though, the pump had that decided enough was enough. With a bang and a boom, the pump spat out a cloud of smoke and clunked uncomfortably.

The dead body sat up.

Danny scrambled over to push it back down. "No. We talked about this. Dead people don't move. If you want to stay here and have me put you back together all the time, you have to stay put. Got it?"

Whatever the weird gold-eye corpses were on in Gotham, they at least listened to him on occasion. They weren't ghosts, per se— they never pinged on any of the ghost detection devices Mom and Dad had packed in his going-away-to-college bag— but they were, despite being occasionally animate, perfectly deceased.

Weird. Danny had never gotten used to it. Still, they came in droves, too eager to sit on the top of the basement stairwell and lurk in the corners and stare endlessly at them with their weird, avian eyes, and sometimes they heralded the arrival similarly weird-ass bodies that had lost their heads or their arms or their limbs through the more conventional channels.

"I'm losing too much thread to all y'all coming in all the time," Danny complained to the dead body, who, at the moment, was the only person present to blame. "Stop getting your limbs cut off. This stuff is expensive, you know. It's a specialty order."

The body didn't even have the courtesy to blink. Rude.

"At least let them bury you this time. Every time one of you darts off when my back's turned, my boss thinks I'm stealing corpses. My coworkers think I'm building my own Frankenstein or something."

The corpse neither verbalized nor blinked, but Danny hadn't expected it to; with a sigh, he rolled the corpse back into cold storage, locked its little door (not that locking it in had ever stopped it) and called it quits for the night.

It's not like anyone was paying him for the extra hours anyway.

#I'm very pro Danny accidentally adopts a whole bunch of Talons #people have definitely done it before but this scene came to me in a vision #a horrible caffeinated vision #could absolutely be an excuse for #talon!dick #talons #dp x dc #faer fic #dpxdc #dcxdp #talon!au #dcu crossover #death tw #well. the funeral industry anyway #medical tw #just in case #corpse tw #¯\_(ツ)_/¯#free to a good home

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mischiefxmuses · 1 year

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‘ i had five shots of espresso, even god can’t stop me ’ ahsoka and tenel

Old Meme Cleanout // Not Accepting

"Now why would you do that?" Tenel laughed and went over to the other. "The crash you're going to have is going to be kriffing terrible. But also not giving you any more coffee to keep you going." She was finding it funny more than anything.

#ahsokareply #ahsokaxtenelthread02 #tenel & interactions #drink tw #caffeine tw

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akystaracer22 · 3 months

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Maybe in Another Life We Would Hate Each Other a Little Less

A chance encounter sheds a little light on Adam that Lucifer couldn't have predicted, leading to a moment he thought he'd never have with the man.

Notes (Aka my thoughts while writing):

God is a dick and I wanna kill xem

Adam folds his wings like a bird because monkey see monkey do

Both these guys were traumatised by the same person and we don’t talk about it enough

Probably Guitarduck/Adamsapple but in a fledgeling platonic kinda way

Refer to my ref for what Adam looks like!

I listened to Rät while writing this and- it kind of fits Adam???

Jesus is God’s favourite child and it fucking shows

How tf did this become a sickfic????

Lucifer gets the experience of being me whenever I make the impulsive move to boot up Char.ai and talk to literally any of the AI’s, get aunt agonied bitch.

Oh my god Adam has middle child syndrome.

Can you tell I attended a Christian school when I was younger???

Adam was hiding just how fucked over he was from the wing rot but he’s not having a good time in this. Most of the latter half of the oneshot is him dazed from both the one set of wing rot and the feeling of someone touching his wing.

Shit emergency wing HC for Adam ig: His wings grow warmer corresponding to his mood, as in when he is in general happier his wings radiate warmth and when he’s in a foul mood they’re just normal or even a little cooler.

In saying that yes Lucifer’s wings glow when he’s happy

Word Count: 1902

Fic under cut!

“Fucking- Shit!”

Lucifer paused, looking behind him and backing up to peek through the crack in the door. This ought to be good.

Sure enough, he was right, this was entertaining.

Adam was ranting again.

Honestly it was a nearly daily thing by this point, probably the only good thing about his daughters decision to let Adam stay at the hotel. He loved his daughter, he really did, by Adam was… Adam.

Lucifer knew he was a lost cause.

But still, didn’t mean Lucifer couldn’t tease the hell out of the man since he was stuck down here with the rest of them.

Lucifer’s smirk at watching the first man rant quickly died as he took in the guys appearance, he looked…

“What is wrong with your wings.”

Adam jerked and twisted around, scowling at him and oops he said that out loud didn’t he.

“Piss off!”

Lucifer, in his typical fashion, did not piss off and instead entered the room, “No seriously what is wrong with your wings.”

Now that he was closer, the king was certain they didn’t look like that a week ago. The feathers, while already having looked like a wreck were duller and the colours seemed almost… muted. Ignoring the already horrific state Adam’s wing were in, they shouldn’t look THAT bad so why…

“Wait-”

“I said-!”

“Have you not been preening you wings?”

Adam went silent, staring wide eyed at Lucifer much to the kings confusion. A beat passed, then two.

“What the fuck is preening?”

Lucifer blinked, he wasn’t serious, was he?

Surely not.

“By the heavens you’re dead serious.”

“What the fuck are you talking about.”

Lucifer debated whether he should explain it or not. On one hand, it’s Adam. On the other, Wings were a serious thing. He’d even seen Husker cleaning his wings from time to time, for Adam to just not know…

“You know what? For once my hatred of you is outweighed by my need to show you what’s what,” The fallen seraphim huffed, closing the door behind him and summoning a chair to block it from the outside so Adam couldn’t escape. “Come on we’re fixing this travesty.”

“What part of fuck off you do you not understand?!” The first man snapped, his wings mantling as Lucifer rifled through the closet, dragging out one of the many jars of oil he’d had the foresight to put in most of the rooms, perks of being a guy with basic common sense.

“The part where you’re being stupid and my daughter started rubbing off on me,” Lucifer shot back, his own wings serving well to corral Adam towards the bed, “How you don’t know how to preen your wings is beyond me but that’s ending today.”

“Again- what are you blabbering about.”

Lucifer paused, hand hovering just over Adams feathers. Preening someone elses wings was… intimate. It was something reserved for friends, family, lovers, and stuff… not enemies. Was he really going to just go ahead and clean Adams wings for him?

The seraphim’s eyes flicked over to where the ruined wing was draped over the bed. The wing was already in bad enough shape as it was, if he didn’t do this then wing rot was bound to hit it at some point and-

He didn’t really have a choice, not if he didn’t want to watch someone die of wing rot again.

Adam went stiff under Lucifers touch as he started work on the mans functioning wing, it was the easiest to work with, not the mention the safest to start with. The injured wing would no doubt be sensitive to any interaction, so better to start small.

Ish.

Adam shuddered as Lucifer moved between feather’s, periodically reapplying preening oil as he went. He was right as usual, looking closer most of the barbules had been separated and needed to be locked together again. Grimacing, the seraphim gently scratched out what looked like dried blood from where it was hidden in the base of Adam’s Secondary coverts.

“What are you doing?” Adam whispered, his voice for once lacking it’s usual bite. Lucifer paused for a second in confusion before Adam’s wing flexed back into Lucifer’s hand, “Don’t stop!”

“Okay okay!” The king huffed, working on his primaries, “What I’m doing is called preening. It’s something beings with feathers do to clean them.”

“Like birds?”

“Yeah, like birds,” Lucifer agreed, “The oil helps take care of bacteria, but you got to realign the feathers, get rid of the ones ready to moult, and fix the feathers that are out of sorts, though you can just shake the feathers to do that part quicker.”

“Mhm”

Lucifer shifted over to finally tackle the ruined wing and froze, a chill slinking down his spine. As he took in the state of the tattered appendage.

“Shit.”

This close the seraphim could see the red pimples under the thinning layer of feathers surrounding the injury, it was wing rot in its early stages.

“What?”

“Nothing!” Lucifer dove his fingers into the scapulars to shut Adam up while he discreetly conjured up some disinfectant for the rot, if he’s lucky he can treat it now and just get Charlie or Vaggie to deal with it now, knock it over the head before it becomes so visible the others can notice. He ignored Adam’s breath hitching as the seraphim started, just as predicted, the wing was sensitive from the damage done to it.

“But seriously you need to do this more, this is just horrific,” Lucifer grumbled to himself, not really caring if Adam listened, “Honestly I’m surprised this hasn’t happened to you before!”

“Mmmm tried once… I think?”

Lucifer, glanced at Adam’s face, it was pointed away from him, but he could still sense Adam’s attention was on him, “Yeah?”

“Saw the birds doin’ it and tried to copy ‘em,” Adam continued at the prompt, spreading his other wing, “It hurt so I stopped, didn’ know there was a method to this shit or someth’n.”

“You… nobody even tried to teach you?”

“I think they thought I knew,” Adam chuckled sourly, “I think they thought I fu’kin knew how to just- do this. ‘Cause I was meant to right?!” Another laugh, “I bit the fu’kin apple so I shou’da known this kinda shit! Apple of knowl’dge or what’ver.”

Lucifer, wisely, didn’t say anything, he just kept working on Adam’s ruined wing, applying the disinfectant, and fixing what few feathers were still healthy and removing the rest. If it was anyone else in this situation he’s wrap the wing and tell them to rest but… it was still Adam that was in this mess.

“I- why didn’t they teach me? Luci why didn’t they teach me this shit?”

“I… don’t know,” Lucifer replied carefully, deliberately skipping over the butchering of his name that sounded way to close to a nickname for comfort, “Come on, up you get he still got the underside to finish then I’ll be out.”

Adam grumbled but complied, sitting up a little to turn around as Lucifer summoned a pillow for Adam to lean back on. Rolling his neck Lucifer got to work on the auxiliary feathers, the lighter feathers were definitely in better shape, but then again that wasn’t exactly a high bar, and they still were looking rough.

“Jesus was prob’bly taught how to preen himself.”

Lucifer’s shoulders hitched as his wings tucked in against his back abruptly. Jesus… was a rough topic. For all sinners talked about him, Lucifer never met him but from the sinners around that time… it was never a fun conversation. Pretentious once kings cursing his name while hopeless commoners lined up for the exorcists blade, faithful until the end that Jesus would let them into heaven if they just believed in him.

… there was a pattern in there, wasn’t there. Like father like son, he supposed.

“Jesus was made from me and yet he’s God’s favourite fukin kid, course he’d fucking know how to preen,” Adam continued unimpeded, “Doesn’t matter if I was Gods first- Jesus was always fucking better than me.”

Okay! Lucifer was in no way prepared for this conversation, but he highly doubted Adam was even going to remember this conversation, so he just focused on the wings.

“…Luci, do they all hate me?”

Lucifer sincerely wished Anthony, or just anyone really would bust down the door at this moment, at least then he could get himself out of this conversation.

“Why do you think that?” the seraphim deflected, moving onto Adam’s good wing and going through his coverts.

“Because none of them ever fucking did this,” Adam waved his hand haphazardly before letting it rest on his chest, “You’re my enemy but you’re fixin’ my fu’kin wings because I’m too stupid and useless to just figure it out myself.”

“Not useless,” The words left Lucifer’s lips without his input, damn himself to double hell, but it managed to shut up Adam, so he kept on the thought train, “You’re not useless you were just never taught, it’s not your fault heaven doesn’t think.”

“Jesus-”

“Is God’s prodigal son and shouldn’t be counted.”

Adam huffed and leaned back on the pillow, “Why’re you good at this?”

“I’ve had aeon’s to learn, and over a decade of putting it in practice,” Lucifer thought about his daughter, a small smile making it’s way into his expression, she really was the best thing to happen to him.

He finished up with Adams good wing and moved onto finishing off the wrecked one. Applying the disinfectant to the infected spots on the underside before reaching for the preening oil again.

“Y’know, maybe in another life we would’ve hated each other less.”

Lucifer just laughed and started preening the wing, yeah right, maybe in a reality where the apple incident never happened, “You’re sick Adam, feverish even.”

“And you’re a wife-stealer.”

“Should have been better in bed.”

“Fuck you,”

Lucifer stuck his tongue out at the first man, earning a tired chuckle. Then the seraphim blinked at the sudden warmth radiating out from the feathers. What in the-?

“Oh… they haven’t done that in a while.”

Lucifer blinked up at Adam who was staring at his feathers in amazement, “Ackde-whuh?”

Adam leaned back and closed his eyes, “Yeah… sometimes they just get warm all of a sudden it’s weird. Hasn’t happened in a while though. Apparently it sometimes happened when Lute was around? I dunno why.”

Lucifer blinked a couple of times before letting out a small “huh” and running a hand through the ruined wing, it was definitely warmer.

Sighing, Lucifer let his hand fall away despite the wing chasing it, “Alright well your wings are definitely cleaner now, so I’ll be out of your hair now.”

The seraphim stood up to leave through the balcony, opening the window and almost stepping out when Adam called after him, still sounding exhausted.

“I can see why they left me for you.”

Lucifer paused, before smiling sardonically and looking back at Adam, who looked like he might have just passed out.

“Tell me that when you’re not delusional from illness and I might believe you.”

With that, Lucifer stepped out and left for his own room… though, if Adam woke up to a small plush duck on his nightstand, that was between Lucifer and the god that cast him down.

But there is one thing Lucifer will admit.

Maybe Charlie wasn't wrong about thinking Adam could be redeemed.

Pings:

@sleepy-hijinx @whatataha @cyborg0109 @birbisanon @legogator @overlord-rey @luckyburgerz @spiny-dogfishes @justakidicarus

#adam hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel #lucifer hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin hotel fandom #guitarduck #platonic #written by an asexual #fluff #fallen angel adam #fallen angel #wing fic #angst #tw swearing #tw mentions of wing rot #i wrote this #I wrote with on four hours of sleep powered by caffeine and a cold #adamsapple #ashes to ashes dust to dust

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keelifallen · 2 years

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Just your average Tuesday

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guardian-angle22 · 10 months

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The 126 + Coffee -> Judd vs. the espresso machine

#911 lone star #911lsedit #the 126 + coffee #judd ryder #owen strand #mateo chavez #tw: food #the way that man just yanks that espresso machine around lmao #I'm team judd on this one btw. I don't have the level of patience needed for a fancy machine like that when I need my caffeine #i also have no idea what a half-cap cap is supposed to be but i swear thats what the official captions say so...#I must not have the coffee lingo down #i'll take a latte?#my gifs #queue it up #and so the coffee series begins #911ls parallel #episode: s01e02 yee-haw #episode: s01e09 awakening #episode: s04e01 the new hotness

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pastelanasblog · 4 months

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does anyone else find themselves really motivated and then you get some random health scare and suddenly you feel the urge to eat just to make yourself feel better

#couldn’t breathe earlier #realised it was bc i’d had too much caffeine #wanted to fast all day but now i’m eating dinner to soak it up 😭😭#tw ana diary #disordered eating thoughts #4norexi4 #ana trigger #low cal restriction #🕯️as a 🪶#th!nsp0 #⭐️ving #th!n$piration

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whump-queen · 1 year

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…sleep deprivation

tw sleep deprivation, self harm, general misery, death mention

give me a whumpee so sleep deprived that their entire body hurts— they feel the ache in their bones, every muscle weeping for a break.

whumpee pinching their skin to keep themselves awake, twisting until it burns, digging their fingernails in until they feel warm blood seep out, dragging and ripping until it’s caked under their fingernails.

they can’t let themselves sit down—they know they’d just collapse. but they’re swaying on their feet, staggering a little. they feel their legs shaking in protest with every excruciating step.

give me the brain fog, the confusion, the slurred words and jumbled sentences— the inability to keep more than a single thought in their head at once.

let the dull pain of thinking too hard wear them down.

let them run on empty fumes until they’re forgetting things as soon as they occur.

until all they can think is how tired they are— the exhaustion pressing in around their brain like a thick syrup, sticky and sinking in around them until theyre suffocating, breathing in poison.

so exhausted that they blink and realize they’re crying.

feeling like a dead man, for all intents and purposes, were it not for the way they’re still barely standing, muscles quivering with each labored step.

they know they’re bad for thinking it but—

at least the dead get to rest.

#too tired to tag things #romantisizing my problems to cope yay #sleep deprivation #sleep deprivation whump #tw self harm #self harm mention #tw death mention #akia.txt #whump prompt #my prompts #idk here aaaa #this is just me describing my symptoms of being very sleep deprived every fucken day #it’s adding up I don’t even want to think abt how many grams of caffeine I must consume a day #like shhh akfnfkejf #time to go pick up coffee

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ender1821 · 7 months

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me: i am so normal about shiny duo

the live feed of my brain 24/7:

i had too much fun losing my shit while making this so alternate versions under the cut (inspired by this post, using this website)

#can you tell i was high off caffeine while doing this #every time they collide i experience a shiny duo thought/flashback #cw flashing #cw flickering #tw flashing #tw flickering #i think?#pearlescentmoon #geminitay #this could also just be about my brainrot of them individually but lets be honest im feral about #shiny duo #mcyt #thank you op of the original post this was very fun for my unhinged braincells dedicated to block people

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missr3n3 · 8 months

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"It's hard to breathe inside these waves of doubt Tidal destruction" -More Than I Could Chew, Mastodon

knock this out in like 2 hours bc the next cut down the altar chapter is causing ceaseless brainworms again

#the mandela catalogue #mandela catalogue fanart #tmc fanart #mandela catalogue au #tmc au #jonah marshall #tmc jonah #adam murray #tmc adam #cut down the altar au #blood tw #i also might have had to much caffeine today lol #r3n3 art stuff

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the-everqueen · 3 months

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Definitely curious about the genderflip Sandman fic 👀

SAME. as in, this is only a concept on the back burner of my brain because i haven't really worked out a satisfying answer to the central q of the thing which is: what does a gender flip DO to these characters?

because here's the thing. i think 99.9% of the time a genderswap au is unnecessary and boring. (not to mention essentialist as hell.) boys have pussies, girls have dicks, people of all genders are intersex, etc. some of us notgirls and failguys just want to vicariously experience our fave getting his clit sucked or her prostate massaged. i personally hate fics that go "but what if these [cis] dudes were [cis] GIRLS" and then proceed to strip the characters of everything that makes them compelling, that makes THEM, because at that point you might as well just flesh out your OCs and maybe interrogate your internalized misogyny and transphobia while you're at it.

anyways.

in the case of sandman, i am (transparently, obviously) curious about what happens if the Corinthian is not designed to be (read as) a man. in the comix, he very much embodies the fears and risks associated with gayness in the 90s (the AIDS epidemic, the dual violence of the closet and/or being outed, the culture around cruising, intersections of race and class with queerness in U.S. urban areas, etc). in the show that's subtly shifted to be a broader umbrella of queerness as well as a very 21st century anxiety around surveillance/public vs private that also taps into a cultural fascination with serial killers. in both cases, him reading as white, middle-aged U.S. man is a CRUCIAL part of what he signifies. he looks like (and takes advantage of being) someone with a lot of social privilege, across multiple categories. no one is going to question why he's in a fancy hotel, a conference room, a seedy bar, a suburb. OBVIOUSLY that changes if any one of these categories changes. i'm thinking about how and also what that means.

(the dreaming spinoff comix tried to do a Thing with a female Corinthian: while Coco spends a year as a real boy, a trans woman named Echo takes his place in the Dreaming. the spinoff handles Echo...really poorly. [i wrote a whole paragraph here trying to distill her arc but it's tangential to this post so suffice to say: it was Bad.] Echo is posed as this "femme fatale" type because i guess if the Corinthian is a woman, she'd also have to be sexy and alluring to the (heterosexist) male gaze. imho this was a cop-out, but then again...what about that spinoff wasn't.)

on some level i'm not sure the Corinthian could ever be anything besides the Corinthian, if that makes sense. as in, if you change anything about him, maybe then he ceases to be the Corinthian and becomes something else entirely. Dream can take different forms (and Overture has a femme!Dream) because stories can take different forms across cultures and times and species. but the Corinthian is intrinsically tied up in humanity and its biomythic nature. and what we think of as Human, as Sylvia Wynter reminds us, is very much tied up in narratives around identity including race, gender, and class.

at the same time my id absolutely wants a butch lesbian Corinthian who uses he/him pronouns. mostly because lesbian and wlw sex STILL gets dismissed or sanitized or erased or pathologized, even though queer women remain subject to state, police, and domestic violence at higher rates than their straight and/or cis counterparts. (also yes i'm counting my trans hermanas y primas, t*rfs can fuck right off.) but also because i'm a fagdyke with religious trauma who relates very hard to god's failed masterpiece.

#ask box #genderflip au #violetoftheendless #like i am also 100% here for a corinthian who was not created as a man but who makes himself #i'm here for a coco who has gender questions #CLEARLY the endless aren't thinking of gender from a binary pov so dream's creations aren't necessarily either #but like. coming to terms with what gender and sexuality mean TO YOU as a person who isn't supposed to be a person...#themes i am interested in!#um. mutuals feel free to ask me to tag this for any cw or tw as needed.#this is me word-vomiting while i'm jittery on too much caffeine and not enough food so like.#sandman #the corinthian

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caffeine-high · 3 months

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lonely vulture with a fresh catch

_____

working titles: arthurbiteViolent, arthuromnomnoming

being able to be normal about arthur is sadly not within my wheelhouse

#ordem paranormal #aop #arthur cervero #opd #desconjuracao #opc #calamidade #caffeines arts #he deserves to be a little deranged as a treat :3 #i love him so much #also #please take a look at the meat guys! i spend about a third of my total drawing time on it...#i also really like the beard for some reason #the sketch of this has been in my wip folder since the start of this year #but arthur pulling that heart out of the mirror was the thing leading me to finally complete it!#tw blood

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mischiefxmuses · 1 year

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‘ i had five shots of espresso, even god can’t stop me ’ hunter & wrecker

Old Meme Cleanout // Not Accepting

"Wrecker that is not a good thing. Are you trying to get your heart to explode?" He laughed nervously. "You're going to crash really badly once the caffeine wears of." After everything that happened Hunter was even more protective over his brothers, Wrecker especially.

#wreckerreply #wreckerxhunterthread02 #hunter & interactions #can be continued if you wanted #drink tw #caffeine tw

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salembutnotthecat · 2 months

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Novemetober (Rescheduled) | Day Six

@monthofsick | day six: post-adrenaline puking

once again, i am revisiting some days i missed because im not feeling the last few prompts at this time.

(also once again these characters originally belonged to @simplysickness but they have given the characters to me)

if you have any requests or questions feel free to send (please send)!

tw emeto, caffeine overload, brief/vague mention of mental health issues, bad coping mechanisms

In the dimly lit garage, the scent of motor oil hung heavy in the air, mingling with the metallic tang of sweat as Xavier tinkered with his bike, his hands deftly maneuvering around the engine with practiced precision. The fluorescent glow of the overhead lights cast sharp shadows across his furrowed brow, accentuating the lines of fatigue etched into his features.

"Hey, Cass," Xavier called out, his voice rough from exhaustion as he glanced over his shoulder to where Cassidy sat on the tabletop of his workbench, leaning against the workbench, concern etched into his features. "Hand me that wrench, would you?"

Cassidy stepped forward, handing over the tool with a gentle touch, his eyes scanning Xavier's face with worry. "You sure you're up for this, Xav? You look like you haven't slept in days."

Xavier chuckled, the sound hollow in the confines of the garage. "Just needing a bit of a distraction lately. Not sure why, maybe with you and Amity being in college, need something to fill my time."

Xavier reached beside him, knocking back the last of the can that Cassidy brought him. Probably much to one of his boyfriends' dismay.

"How many of those have you hit today?" Cassidy asked.

"Three, maybe?" Xavier said, "It's my last one, promise. I'm almost done anyway."

Cassidy's expression softened with understanding, though a flicker of concern still lingered in his gaze. "You've been pushing yourself too hard, Xav. Racing every chance you get. Aren't you supposed to only focus on the circuit?"

"I don't have to," Xavier shrugged, "Besides, the more I race, the better I do on the circuit."

"Yeah, and you look like you haven't slept in days," Cassidy said, "If you don't slow down you'll get yourself sick."

Xavier's shoulders tensed slightly, a defensive edge creeping into his voice. "I can handle it, Cass. I've been doing this for years."

But even as he spoke, a wave of nausea swept over him, a harsh reminder of the toll his rigorous schedule was taking on his body. He swallowed back the bile and the sickening sweetness of the last energy drink he had rising in his throat, his grip tightening on the wrench as he forced himself to focus on the task at hand.

Cassidy reached out, a hand coming to rest on Xavier's shoulder, the touch grounding and reassuring. "Just promise me you'll take it easy after this race, okay? Your health comes first."

Xavier met Cassidy's gaze, a flicker of gratitude softening the exhaustion in his eyes. "I promise," he murmured, the weight of his words heavy in the air between them.

Race day dawned with the sky painted in hues of fiery orange and soft pink, the air thick with anticipation and the faint scent of gasoline. Xavier stood at the edge of the track, clad in his racing gear, the vibrant colors of his suit a stark contrast to the pallor of his complexion. Despite the adrenaline coursing through his veins, Xavier felt like maybe, just maybe he did too much in too little of time.

Cassidy stood nearby, a knot of worry twisting in his stomach as he watched Xavier's trembling hands lift another energy drink to his lips, knocking it back like it was a shot of liquor as opposed to an excessive amount of caffeine. The telltale signs of too much caffeine were impossible to miss, the jittery tremors a stark contrast to Xavier's usual steady demeanor. He approached Xavier with a gentle touch, concern etched into every line of his face.

"Xav, maybe you should sit this one out," Cassidy suggested softly, his voice laced with worry. "You're not in any condition to race."

But Xavier's jaw clenched stubbornly, his gaze fixed on the track. "I can't back out now, Cass. I've trained for this, I've worked for this. I can't just give up. I can't let the last month and a half be for nothing."

Cassidy reached out, cupping Xavier's trembling hands in his own. But, it hurt. Or something, Xavier wasn't sure how to explain it.

"I know you want this, Xav," Cassidy murmured, his voice gentle but firm. "But pushing yourself like this, it's not worth risking your health. There will be other races, other opportunities."

But Xavier shook his head, his gaze unwavering as he met Cassidy's eyes with a fierce intensity. "I have to do this, Cass. For me, for us. I need to prove that I can still compete, that I'm not just a has-been."

Cassidy's heart ached at the raw vulnerability in Xavier's words. He wanted nothing more than to wrap Xavier in his arms, to shield him from the relentless pressure weighing him down. And it was all pressure he was putting on himself, Cassidy knew that. But he was putting that pressure on himself as a coping mechanism, Amity explained that many times. Putting race pressure on himself, putting excessive caffeine in his body, it was a coping mechanism to avoid facing his internal struggles. A bad coping mechanism, but a mechanism nonetheless.

"I have to go, race time," Xavier said, knocking back the last of the can he had, handing it over to Cassidy, proving it was empty, making a statement that was the last one.

As Xavier crossed the finish line, a surge of triumph surged through his weary body, the deafening roar of the crowd echoing in his ears like a symphony of victory. But as the adrenaline that had propelled him through the race began to fade, a wave of nausea swept over him with crippling intensity.

The world spun around him in a dizzying blur, his vision swimming with dark spots as he fought to keep his balance. He needed to get off the track, for several reasons.

Cassidy's voice cut through the haze of exhaustion, sharp with concern as he rushed to Xavier's side, a hand coming to rest on his quivering shoulder. "Xav, are you okay? You don't look so good."

Xavier swallowed back the bile rising in his throat, the taste of stomach acid and the energy drink a strange mix of sweet and bitter on his tongue as he forced a weak smile, continuing to walk off to the side with his bike, "I'm fine, Cass. Just need a minute to catch my breath, that's all."

But even as he spoke, a violent wave of nausea tore through him, his stomach lurching with agonizing intensity. Xavier staggered to a halt, his hands trembling as he struggled to unclasp the helmet strapped to his head.With a strangled gasp, Xavier ripped off his helmet, the cool air of the racetrack washing over his clammy skin in a welcome relief.

Cassidy's brow furrowed with worry as he watched Xavier's pallor turn ashen, his hands shaking uncontrollably as he clutched at his stomach.

"Xav, you need to sit down," Cassidy insisted, his voice urgent with concern. "You're not okay."

But Xavier waved him off weakly, his breaths coming in ragged gasps as he fought to keep the contents of his churning stomach at bay. "I just... need a moment," he managed to choke out, his voice barely above a whisper.

With a trembling hand, Cassidy reached out, offering Xavier a steadying arm as he guided him to a nearby bench, the cold metal biting into Xavier's aching muscles as he collapsed onto the hard surface. The world spun around him in a dizzying whirl, the sounds of the racetrack fading into a distant haze as darkness threatened to consume him whole.

As Xavier sat on the hard metal bench, the world around him seemed to spin faster and faster, the cacophony of voices and engines blending into a disorienting symphony of chaos. With each passing moment, the relentless grip of nausea tightened its hold on him, a suffocating weight pressing down on his chest.

Cassidy hovered nearby, his features etched with concern as he watched Xavier's condition deteriorate with growing alarm.

"Xav, I told you this would happen," he said softly, his voice tinged with panic as he reached out a hand to steady Xavier's trembling form.

But before Xavier could respond, a violent wave of nausea tore through him, the contents of his stomach rising up with agonizing force. With a strangled gasp, he doubled over, retching violently onto the ground, the bitter taste of bile filling his mouth with every heave.

Disgust and dismay washed over Xavier in a sickening wave as he wiped the back of his hand across his mouth, the acrid stench of vomit lingering in the air like a foul miasma. Shame burned hot in his chest as he glanced up at Cassidy, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"I'm so sorry, Cass," Xavier murmured, his voice thick with self-loathing. "I didn't mean for this to happen."

But Cassidy's expression softened with compassion as he knelt beside Xavier, a hand coming to rest on his trembling shoulder. "Hey, it's okay," he reassured, his voice gentle but firm. "You pushed yourself too hard, that's all. Let's get you home."

With Cassidy's steady support, Xavier struggled to his feet, his legs trembling beneath him as he leaned heavily on his boyfriend for support. The world spun around him in a dizzying blur, the sounds of the racetrack fading into a distant haze as he stumbled toward his bike. The weight of his exhaustion was draggung him down like an anchor in the storm, but he needed to take care of things before they could go.

“Hey, hey,” Cassidy said, “Here. Let me help. And then we really should get you home… and in bed.”

Xavier glanced up at Cassidy, a flicker of gratitude softened the edges of his despair, a reminder that no matter how far he fell, his boyfriend would always be there to lift him back up again.

“I’m sorry,” Xavier said, “Seriously.”

Cassidy nodded, “Yeah, I know. It’s okay…”

#emeto #sickfic #emeto fic #emeto cw #emeto tw #emetophilia #caffeine overdose tw #bad coping mechanisms tw #tw bad coping mechanisms #novemetober 2023 #novemetober rescheduled

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