#can you believe it's been nearly a whole YEAR since I've done one of these???

[russellsppttemplates]

A red thread tying you to me (Charles Leclerc)

There was something pulling you to him and Charles was ready to act on it

Note: english is not my first language. I loved the blurb and now we have a big piece too!

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions the death of reader's father's and Charles' father's deaths

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog @hiireadstuff @c-losur3

"The congress is just outside of Milan, the exact city and details are in there", your colleague Lucia offered as she flickered though the pages, "I've been a couple of times before and it's really enriching, I just know you'll love the students and the department head - she was my supervisor for a couple of years".

"It sounds great", you looked at the panel information and then the travel details, "it's such a shame you can't come with me though, but I also wouldn't want to risk your little dude showing up and have me as your midwife", you chuckled as Lucia rubbed her baby bump.

"You're capable of many things, Y/N, but I would prefer if the fate of my baby and my underparts was in the hands of a professional!", she bumped your shoulder, "and the area is really nice too, I'm sure you'll find something to keep you busy during the weekend".

"I have plans, actually, I'll be fine I think", you smiled.

Like Lucia predicted, you had a great time in the conference and the guest lecture you gave was applauded and discussed for nearly an hour after you showed the last slide of the presentation, topics going back and forth until everyone had to absolutely leave the room before the next lecture began. For now, you'd get to enjoy the region, drinking some wine and taking in the views you recognised.

The park where your father used to take you didn't look too different. The slides didn't look rusty anymore, and the swing was a bright red colour as you sat on it once you didn't see any other kid around who might want to use them and let yourself feel the breeze on your face and hair as you kicked your legs in and out. Your father used to make you feel like you could touch the sky with how high he helped you go, "you're going to touch the clouds, mia piccola stella", he would say and you would laugh loudly.

You missed him every single day, but over the years, your grief allowed you remember all of the happy moments you lived with him, cherishing them close to your heart. Spending the whole weekend in Monza and attending the race was something you hadn't done without him since he passed away. The circuit was your father's favourite - "it's the fans, Y/N, there's a thrill in the air that no other circuit has - Tifosi cover the streets, they're all you can see around town and it's magical almost" he would say to you, so when you noticed the conference was in the area and coincided with the Grand Prix weekend, both you and your mother agreed you should take the opportunity.

On your way back to the hotel, you stopped by the track, wondering what the preparations for a race weekend looked like after so many years. You still followed the sport, but you never got the chance to catch this on television.

"Oh my, oh my", you heard someone say beside where you were standing, "I can't believe my eyes, it's Y/N Y/L/N".

Turning around you spotted Salvatore, one of the mechanics your father worked with. He also had kids around your age and you would often play together whenever you were both in the garage for the weekend.

"Salvatore!", you cheered, giving him a big smile after kissing each of his cheeks, "you better believe your eyes then".

"It's been so long since I've seen you last", he recalled, rubbing your back softly. You and your mother had gone to Maranello for a tribute ceremony the team had for your father - that had been the last time he saw you.

"It has been, yes - I'm sorry", you apoligised. You told the team you'd be around and so much had happened since and you only watched it through a screen instead of living it in the flesh.

"It's okay, it was the time you needed - What brought you to Monza this weekend?", he wondered as he walked inside the paddock with you, scanning his card and getting you both in.

"A work trip actually - I finished a conference yesterday and I also gave a lecture at the university", you nodded, "and my father always loved Monza", you smiled at the memory, "he knew how cliché that sounded, but he always said there wasn't a better weekend on the calendar. And I've missed the rush, too", you offered, letting the tears flow freely and accepting them even though you were in the middle of the paddock, loud noises coming from every angle as the teams prepared the finishing touches for the upcoming race.

"He's very proud of you, I'm sure", Salvatore comforted, "and everyone will be happy to see you here - the little girl with the high pigtails is a grown woman now who attends conferences and gives lectures, who would've known?", he joked as you stepped inside the garage.

"Is this little troublemaker Y/N Y/L/N?", one of the oldest mechanics said after he applied a sticker to the halo.

When your father took you to the races, everyone knew they had fun guaranteed with you, always pulling pranks and laughing loudly, "my troublemaker days are over, I'm a responsible woman now", you chuckled, giving a quick wave to everyone before greeting everyone individually.

"Do you have tickets for this weekend?", Fred asked. Even though he had just met you, it was clear to him how much you mattered to everyone who worked with your father, "we can get you a pass, I'm sure".

"I have grandstand tickets", you stated.

"Silvia!", the team principal called the woman, making her approach him and rub your arm kindly, "do we have any guest passes left?".

"Let me check", Silvia mumbled, "we have one left, actually! Charles didn't even notice he asked us to save a ticket for his mother twice - I'll get it for you, it's in the meeting room upstairs", she smiled.

"Charles will also be very happy to see you around, did you tell him you were coming?", Salvatore mentioned.

"I haven't actually - I've been really busy", you mumbled.

You met the monégasque driver when he was Scuderia Ferrari's development driver and Prema Racing driver in Formula Two, accidentally running into him in the dining area of the hospitality and ending up spending most of his free time there throughout the whole weekend.

Quickly, it became a tradition to do so whenever he was over and whenever he was done with his Formula Two duties and you happened to be at the same track.

When you stopped attending races because the memories were too painful, you lost contact, opting to react to eachother's Instagram stories every now and again and sending quick messages through the social media app.

"The boys arrive today, but they're only coming to the track tomorrow", Fred added, "you'll have plenty of time to catch up".

Charles had finally arrived to the hotel after all the flights and drives, thankful that there weren't many fans around already and he could get inside without a hitch, checking in and getting his room keys.

"Hold it, per favore!", he said to the person on the lift, dreaming of the changing from his travel outfit and the bed waiting for him. When his hand helped him inside the metal door, he couldn't believe his eyes, "Y/N?".

He could remember the last time he saw you. He had just started his first season as a Formula One driver for Alfa Romeo and you had come back to the paddock for the first race of the season like you promised you would. He sat with you whenever he had a little break, you caught up with him and his early days as a driver with a seat rather than just watching from the sidelines.

"Charles, hi!", you gasped, hugging him and feeling him squeeze your body against his.

"I- what are you doing here? Are you here for the race?", he wondered. This couldn't be a mere coincidence. He hoped it wasn't.

"I had a work trip here that coincided with this weekend, and I thought of it as a sign", you explained, "you're staying in this hotel too?".

"Yes, the team are at the one where we usually stay for the weekend, but until Thursday, I'm staying here, yes", he smiled, "Goodness, I feel like it's both been forever and like it was yesterday", he chuckled, "do you want to get a drink? I have a nice selection in my room whenever I stay", he offered.

"I'd love to, Charles", you said, hoping that the tingly feeling on your tummy mirrored Charles' own excitement at this unexpected but valued encounter, "are you sure though? You just arrived".

"No, don't worry about that! My room is... 705", he checked on the card he was handed, "so you can join me now or maybe you want to set those things down first and meet me there?", he pointed to the bag you were carrying.

"Yes, this is quite heavy actually", you blushed, "my room is on this floor, so I'll meet in your room in fifteen? I need to freshen up because I've been walking around town all day".

Leaving the elevator on your floor, Charles waved at your before the doors closed andyou headed to your door. Stepping inside, you left the totebag with the books you bought in the chair before heading to the bathroom, brushing out any tangles in your hair and splashing your face with water to freshen up.

After getting yourself ready to go, you went up to Charles' floor, knocking on the door and waiting for him.

"Come in, come in!", Charles offered after he opened the door, "I've unpacked but kept it very organised still", he chuckled as you walked inside the room. It looked the same as yours did, only a different colour pallette for the decoration.

"How have you been?", you wondered once you sat down and shared some sparkling water, neither of you really feeling like drinking anything alcoholic.

"You surely know more about me than I know about you", Charles smiled, "but it's been good, this season has been great so far, I feel like we're in a really good path and things are working well", he took a sip from his cup, "the team have done such an incredible job".

"And the driver on the car doesn't have anything to do with that?", you squinted at his ever so modest take on things.

"I suppose I do", he blushed.

"I may have not been here, but I've watched every race - minus some of the ones at daft o'clock, I only watched those when my sleep was all messed up", you joked, "you're an essential part of this team, Charles, everyone can see that so you should give yourself more credit", you touched his arm.

Even though it had been years since you last saw eachother, you hit it off immediately and it seemed like no time had passed.

"And you? What is this work trip that brought you here?", Charles nodded.

"You're not the only one who gets to travel for work, alright?", you tsked, "I had to do a presentation on a conference and then the department invited me for a lecture, nothing big".

"Who's being ever so modest now, hm? That is fantastic, mon ange!", he congratulated before he noticed the words coming out of his mouth.

"When I noticed it fell around this weekend, I told my mum and she said that I should try and dip my foot here - I've been wanting to come to race sooner but...", you trailed off.

"I get it - it's hard going to the places that remind you of them", Charles took his hand in yours and squeezed it, "he was so cherished by the team, I'm sure everyone will be very happy to see you".

"Actually, I walked to the track today so I could see it up close before the race - I hoped it wouldn't be such a big shock once I got there on Friday -, and I bumped into Salvatore", you smiled, "he let me go into the garage and I saw everyone, it was really nice", you looked up so the tears on your eyes wouldn't fall.

"I can get you a pass, let me just text Silvia!", Charles said as he got his phone from his pocket with his free hand.

"She already did", you chirped, "apparently you booked two for your mother, so they had a spare one".

"You see, a couple of years ago, my mum was too late to tell me she was coming to the race and I was out of the guest passes, so I always have one on hold for her and I sent the list with her name on it as well", he admitted, "but it seems to have turned out just fine - meant to be even".

You ended up requesting room service for the two of you for dinner, neither feeling like going out of the room after feeling so comfortable there. Conversation was steady, vulnerability was easy to show and the butterflies were happily dancing on your tummy.

"I better get to my room, then", you stated once Charles told you about what he needed to do tomorrow once he was at the track.

"I didn't mean it that way - I'm fine!", he said after doing his best attempt at containing a big yawn, "I'm fine!".

"You're tired, and frankly so am I", you admitted as you got up from the bed.

"Would you like to come with me to the track tomorrow? If you don't have other plans that is", he mumbled the last part.

"I don't - I was just going to work a little bit, but if you find me a spot in the hospitality, I'll happily take my stuff there", you smiled reassuringly as you put on your shoes and headed to the door.

"I can take you to your room", Charles got up from the bed and followed you.

"No need, my room is just downstairs", you reasoned, kissing his cheek in a silent thank you still.

"That's right - so we'll go tomorrow after breakfast?", he rested his body on the door once you opened it.

"Yes, that works for me! Good night, Charles", you smiled before walking up to the elevator.

.

Walking inside the hospitalitynwith Salvatore and the rest of the team, he was quick to show you where you could set up.

"Charles likes to spend as much time as possible with the fans and it's right about now that they start becoming more and more and they're everywhere, too", he explained as he helped you in the table on the lounge area, "there's food and coffee in there if you need anything", Salvatore smiled, "if you need anything, just ask someone".

"Thank you - this is perfect", you assured, sitting down and working on your laptop and reading some of the books you had bought.

Charles and Carlos finally arrived at the hospitality, greeting the team and talking to them for a while before they headed upstairs for a meeting.

"You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend and you were bringing her here", Carlos told Charles as he poured some coffee on a mug after the meeting.

"I don't - I haven't brought a girlfriend here", Charles quirked an eyebrow at his team-mate.

"So who is that young woman you just smiled at and are pouring coffee for after giving her the heart eyes?", it was the spanish driver's turn to raise his eyebrows.

"Oh, Y/N!", Charles smiled as he mentioned your name, "she's an old friend! Her father was a mechanic before he passed away a few years ago - the older team members have known her since she was little, everyone loves her", he mused.

"Everyone loves her - I can see that", Carlos chuckled as he followed Charles to the table.

"We don't want to interrupt or disturb you too much", Charles announced as he set the mug next to your laptop.

"It's fine, sit sit!", you encouraged as you closed the books you no longer needed to make room for them, "I'm Y/N", you told Carlos.

"I'm Carlos", he smiled back, "nice to meet you", he said before you dove into conversation, discussing anything that popped into your minds and getting to know eachother.

"Don't let her fool you into believing she has always been a responsible, put together girl because she used to steal and hide all of our tools!", Antonio, one of the engineers pointed at you after he got himself a bottle of water, "Charles knows her tricks already but you, Carlos, don't fall for that!".

"You loved it every time I was on the computers and drew on Paint! You even had one of my drawings as the background for almost an entire season!", you threw at him as he approached you, patting the top of your head protectively.

"I'd like to see that! I've only known her since she was way older", Charles pouted.

"Jealous much?", Carlos teased, his voice above a whisper as Charles seemed to get flustered.

"Is it really that obvious?", the monégasque driver mumbled once you got up to get something to eat, "I've had a crush on her since I was a development driver".

"Why have you never said anything? She seems like she really cares about you too", Carlos mused as he thought to a few moments before where you too gqve him heart eyes. He would have to be blind to not notice it, and even then the energy between you too would still be felt.

"The timing wasn't right, I guess - her father passed away almost right after as I became a driver for Alfa Romeo, and she hasn't been in the paddock since. We have texted every now and again over the years and now she happened to be here for the race too", Charles offered.

"I'd say you should take a shot - trust me, she likes you back", Carlos patted Charles' shoulder after getting up, watching you go back to the table with a big smile on your face.

.

After Charles took pole position in qualifying, the team stayed a bit longer for the debrief, going over a few points of the discussion and the changes they still needed to make before the race.

"Y/N! We're having dinner at one of our favourite restaurants in town and I'm counting you in, okay?", Charles said as he spotted you in the garage, followed by Andrea, who had been keeping you company along with his brothers, Charlotte and Pascale.

"Your family is here for you, Charles, I don't want to intrude", you said as you got up, unaware of the Leclerc matriarch behind you.

"Chérie, of course you won't be intruding - we'd love to have you there!", Pascale chirped in.

"Well, in that case...!", you smiled, "just tell me where I should go and at what time, or are we going straight there?", you wondered.

"I was thinking we could go straight there if that's okay with you - you can can come with me and Andrea can ride with my brothers", Charles suggested, "unless you need to go back to the hotel", he quickly scrambled.

"No, I'm fine! Unless this outfit is not restaurant appropriate", you muttered as you looked down. Against all odds, you managed to not get any food stains on your dress. It was a midi skirt cut, flowy to allow your body to feel cool considering the warm Italian day.

"It's fine - you're fine, you look beautiful!", Charles was quick to assure you.

"Good, that's good then", you smiled before excusing yourself to go and get your things.

"You have to tell her, Charles - your affection is no use to either of you if you keept it in here", Pascale tapped her son's chest.

.

"Y/N", Charles called you before he had to go and get ready for the race, "I have something for you - we do", he said as some of the mechanics, including Salvatore, followed him.

"Oh, what is it?", you smiled.

"We commented with some guys back at the factory that you were here with is this weekend and they found something we thought you'd like to have", Salvatore said as he handed you a bag.

Looking inside, you noticed an old Ferrari cap and some embroidered lettering on the side, recognising it immediately. When you were a teenager, you decided to try different hobbies and hand embroidery was the one that stuck the most, so much so that on one of the race weekends, you embroidered caps for everyone on the team that asked you.

"My wife remembered the one I have at home and then the guys at Maranello found your father's and apparently one you did for Charles' as well", Salvatore offered as you took them both out.

"Dad always said he had plenty of embroidered things at home and this one was the one he had to travel with him", you chuckled as tears welled up in your eyes, feeling Charles soothingly rub your back.

"I remember getting this and loving it - I thought I had lost it!", Charles said, unaware if how close he was pulling you together so he could get a peek at the old caps.

"There's some loose string here", you chuckled, wiping the tears and fiddling with the red thread, "I didn't know how to properly tie it at the start, I kept losing it - I think I even glued it down at some point. Thank you for bringing this out", you smiled.

"Would you mind if I wore this for the driver's parade?", Charles asked you.

"I was planning on wearing my dad's while I watched the race", you offered, testing the fabric and placing it on your head before doing the same with Charles, fixing it on his head and looking up at him.

You never got over how handsome he was. The little scar on his cheek, his mole, the smile that never failed to make you smile, his beautiful green eyes. His kindness, his gentleness, his talent - there wasn't a way to deny how much you liked it. How much you liked him.

"We will be matching then!", Charles squeezed you against him before going to his driver's room.

Only when Charles was headed to take P1 on the grid did he hand the cap back to Salvatore and put on his helmet, giving you a wink before he left.

"How are you feeling?", Pascale asked as she sat next to you to watch the race. Over the last couple of days, she had grown close to you, not only because you had captured her son's heart and she wanted to get to know you, but also because Charles had told her how emotionally charged it was for you to be at the track, in Monza nonetheless.

"It's a lot", you admitted, "everyone has been so kind and warm, so all of the heavy feelings have been slowly infiltrating the good ones and it's been easier to deal with them like that", you blinked away a few tears.

"I get it", Pascale nodded, "losing someone is not easy, and I can't imagine what it feels like for you - the boys and I talk about my late husband every now and again and it gets easier to talk about it, I think that's what it is anyway".

"Yes, definitely like that. My mum and I have reached the point where we don't cry at every mention - despite what you might have noticed this weekend", you chuckled.

"It's emotional, chérie - I, for one, always cry whenever the boys achieve their goals. Hervé isn't here to see them, but I know he knows, and the boys know how proud he is of them", Pascale smiled, keeping some tears at bay too.

"You raised amazing young men, don't doubt that", you let out. At this point, you were sure she had noticed or had at least an inkling. As any mechanic for the red team who knew you since you were a kid would say, you were never a good liar - anytime you said you didn't touch something, they knew to look in your backpack first.

"Thank you, dear", she added, "you know, Charles is quite careful in who he lets in, but he's never been good at hiding how much he cares about someone and I can tell he cares a great deal about you".

"I care a lot about him too", you smiled before you were handed a pair of headphones each with the race about to start.

When Charles successfully kept the cars behind him away with a good gap, you clapped and watched the remaining laps number get smaller and smaller until there was only the current lap left.

Charlotte held your hand together with hers as you watched Charles be the first driver to see the checkered flag and when Xavi yelled "And P1!" into the radio, you did your happy dance, not having a care in the world about what others thought as you watched the Tifosi erupt in cheer.

"He did it! He did it!", Pascale clapped for her son, Arthur hugging her while Lorenzo did the same with his girlfriend while you softly touched your father's embroidered name on your cap with your fingers.

Running up to Parc Fermé, you stood in the sea of red, waiting for him to come back and hug them.

"You did so well, congratulations!", you said as you pulled Charles for a hug.

"Had my good luck charm with me!", he smiled back, kissing your cheek as he took advantage of you being shielded by the mechanics and engineers.

The team celebratory dinner was going really well, everyone happy with how the weekend panned out with both drivers on the podium and enjoying the meal on the restaurant's outside patio.

"If you guys want dessert, they're going to set them out on that table and you can grab as much as you like", Fred spread the message as you could see all kinds of sweet foods being brought out, a pudding catching your eye along with some raspberries.

You and Charles got the dessert plates and served yourselves, noticing the staff was already clearing up the tables, meaning you'd have to move to the bar area, many people opting to skip dessert and get some drinks instead.

"You can see the stars so clearly tonight", you mused as you looked up at the sky, setting your plate on the high table.

"My father always said that the stars did shine brighter here, and tonight the sky is very clear", Charles hummed in agreement, looking at your face. The moonlight and the dim lighting for the lamps and fairy lights illuminated all your features perfectly - your smile as you looked up formed the dimples on your cheeks, your eyes that were a tiny bit squinty and the way your whole body seemed relaxed.

The goosebumps on your arms caught his eye though, "here, have this", Charles said as he offered you the cardigan he had carried around all night since according to him his mother made him do it because it would be cold.

"Thanks", you smiled as you pulled the sleeves and folded them around your wrist so they would fit better, "this is really comfy, I might steal this if you don't ask for it back", you joked.

"I don't mind if you keep it, you have had my heart all these years", Charles stated. There it was.

"What?", you faced him, heart beating fast inside your chest.

"It's true, I've had a crush on you since I first met you, and these past couple of days have been amazing, and I can't believe it took me all these years to realize how I truly feel about you Y/N", he told you, no stutter or sign of regret on his face.

"I haven't been around, really, it's my fault", you fiddled with your thumbs before looking at him again, "but I can't lose you again".

"You never lost me, amour", he smiled as his eyes flickered between your eyes and your lips, his hand cupping your cheek your mouth pressed on his, ignoring everything and everyone around you.

Interrupting the kiss for air, Charles giggled as you hid your face in his neck once you heard the cheers and whistles, your lashes tickling him as his arms circled your waist and pulled you closer to him.

"He wins inside the track and outside of it, Charles Leclerc, P1 to Y/N's heart!", Carlos shouted before whistling again.

"Just so you know, I want an invite to your wedding!", Salvatore pointed his finger at you, "I still remember when you invited me for your wedding with Vettel!".

"You and Seb?", Charles chuckled once you pulled away from his neck.

"Sebastian was my favourite when I was little", you giggled, hiding your face on Charles' chest this time, "when he was back in RedBull still, I asked my father to ask him if he could take a photo with me and I cherished that for so many years - it was my most prized possession!".

"I can't promise you Seb, but I can promise you the very best of me", Charles said as he kissed the top of your head.

#charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc x reader #f1 fluff #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader

[heyyouknowbts]

BTS as Florida man headlines, volume LVIII

BTS as Florida man masterlist

#can you believe it's been nearly a whole YEAR since I've done one of these??? #also can we talk about how that photo of namjoon is a meme on its own 😂 #bts #bangtan #bts memes #bts lq #bts funny #bts as florida man #bts as #incorrect bts quotes #bts meme #bts jin #bts rm #bts suga #bts j-hope #bts v #bts jimin #bts jungkook #taekook #jungkook #v #jimin #jin #suga #j-hope #rm #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok

[ch3rriiii-bunn]

All mine♡

Kokushibo my beloved♡

Warnings: female bodied reader, drunk sex (consent is given before), humor (i think its funny), dom kokushibo, standing up sex (whatever u wanna call it lmao), reader is kokushibos wife🫶🏾 and human, dirty talk from kokushibo, man handling(?)

Kokushibo disappearing most nights was something he had informed you about from time, since he was in the twelve kizuki and working for a man he couldn't say. Just as you were done washing up and heading to your shared bedroom and saw him sitting on the porch looking at the sky. "You're not being summoned by that man tonight?" You walked closer to kokushibo sitting beside him. "No... "He" does not require my presence tonight, and I already did my other tasks. I assumed you were sleeping already, " he said bluntly.

"Is that so?" You smiled, resting your head on his shoulder "well I was planning on having a drink by myself tonight, but since you're here, why dont you come inside and join me?" You asked, resting your hand on his thigh.

Kokushibo looked at you with a slight blush on his cheeks and wrapped his arm around you're waist "I am a demon.... I won't be nearly as drunk if I have the same amount as you do, " he said. "So you have a whole bottle to yourself then. I'll have my amout, and you have yours, " you chuckled.

Kokushibo was never the one to make fun suggestions when he's with you since his type of "fun" was fighting death battles. So he would agree to whatever ideas you had since he found enjoyment in what you had planned and how much effort you put into your plans with him. Despite him being a literally demon and straightforward, he loves you so much he could never Refus you without good reason.

Once inside, you brought two bottles of sake out holding them in each hand and sat in front of kokushibo. He gave you a questionable look, and you giggled, "Don't worry, I didn't buy this alone. I was with a friend today after work. Come to think of it, I've never seen you drunk. Are you a Cryer?" You teased

"Demons usually get aroused when we drink.. it's been hundreds of years since I've drake sake...so I don't believe it's strong enough to get me to that point, " he said and took the sake bottle, analyzing it in his hand. "Well, if you do, then we can have sex." You giggled "joking" around but looked at kokushibo with puppy eyes. Kokushibo looked at your face and then eyes trailing down your body. "I accept," kokushibo said, making you chuckle at his response.

After 10 minutes, kokushibo had drank the entire bottle and some of yours and sat there in silence, not moving a muscle. "Kokushibo?" Your voice slurred out his name and crawled to him "hey you there? Helloooo, " you said and poked him."y/n.... sake really has changed over the years...." He said, moving his hand to your cheek and then to your ear, playing with it between his fingers.

"Stop it, that tickles!" You laughed, crawling onto his lap to straddle him,"you're ear... it's so cute I could eat it, " he said with all his eyes resting. You looked at him, shocked and a bit scared. "Oh okay, um. Let's not say that since you are a man eating demon, " you chuckled nervously. All of Kokushibo's eyes widened, and he gasped softly but also a bit dramatically. "Oh noo.... no, no. You are a human whom I'd never eat... never eat, " he said, still playing with your ear, but this time sticking his finger inside your ear.

"Don't do that either!" You slap his hand away but held it intertwining your fingers with his laughing hard."My god, you're so out of it, aren't you!?" You said and kissed his hand and looked at kokushibo. After looking at each other in silence, kokushibo couldn't help the smile curling from his lips and started to chuckle, eventually turning into low keep laughs.

This is the first time you're seeing your husband laugh, let alone smile. You couldn't help but laugh along with him, loving the feeling of him being relaxed and comfortable with you. Kokushibo hugged you tightly, and you did the same while rubbing his back. "I love you," kokushibo said. "I'm.... happy I found a human like you." He said not only drunk but actually coming from his heart, and you give him a kiss."I love you too, silly. That's why we are married, " you giggled

"I am not silly." kokushibo slurs his words and kisses you back but more passionately and slowly moves both hands to your ass. You placed both hands on his face, kissing back with tounge, letting out small "mhms." Kokushibo pulled back, breathing heavy. "It looks like I was wrong.... I did get aroused" he said taking your hand and places it over his cock "but I can't help but lust for you" he said "then take me" you said teasing his tip with your thumb

"Y/n, I told you to stay still. You'll fall if you don't" kokushibo said while flicking his tounge your clit while holding your waist keeping you still. "Kokushibo- It's too much! I'm getting close, " you moaned, grabbing onto his hair to push your pussy more onto his mouth. Kokushibo sucks on your clit and thrusts his fingers inside your wet pussy and made sure to curly them in the right places, making you cum on his fingers seconds later.

You rest your body against the wall and look at kokushibo out of breath "kokushibo I can't stand anymore," you said with shaking legs. Kokushibo licks his fingers clean and then starts to kiss up your body. "I was not planning to make you stand any longer," be said, grabbing both your legs and picking you up. You gasped in the moment, underestimating how strong your demon husband is. Kokushibo used one of his hands to hold your whole body and the other hand on his cock rubbing his tip on your hole "hold on to me" he whispers "I can't hold back. I want to fuck you until you're screaming" he said and puts its in making you let out a squeal.

Kokushibo groaned, grabbing your ass tightly with both hands. "I have not been taking care of my gorgeous wife, haven't I? You're so tight" he said thrusting his cock slowly yet deep inside you at frist "I apologize. I'll make you feel so good, trust me. " kokushibo moans low in your ear and starts fucking you missionary style while making your whole body bounce on his cock.

You held onto kokushibo tightly, letting out loud moans and screams of pleasure in between with glossy eyes from how deep he is inside you, hitting your spot more aggressively. "I love your beautiful voice, ngh- haa~ and that fucked out face you make for me" kokushibo moans thrusting his hips faster "you're so close I can feel your pussy sucking me in, needing to cum all over my cock.... mhm, am i wrong?".

You nod you're head yes in reply "kokushibo, kokushibo please I need to cum. Don't stop, " you begged and kissed him, moaning in his mouth.

You could tell he was close too from his soft whimpers in the kiss and eyes squeezing shut. You felt his thick cock pound your pussy harder until kokushibo let out a long hum in the kiss filling you up with his cum while you having an orgasm around the same time.

The next day came around with the hours passing by, and kokushibo had to be summoned by "that man" again. Kokushibo pet your head and then cups your cheek. "I'll be back soon," he said, and you nodded with a smile.

Kokushibo rubbed his thumb on your cheekbone and leaned down to your ear. "You seem different somehow. Can you still feel me inside you, darling?" He asked with his other hand on your hip, making you hide your face in his palm and nod yes to answer his question.

Kokushibo grinned and kissed your forehead. "I see" He said and disappeared into the night

#demon slayer smut #kny smut #upper moon 1 #kokushibo #kokushibo smut #kokushibo x reader #x reader

[tyrantraveveromega]

It's been a while since I've shared my thoughts about Kotone so I figure its time for a refresh. My interpretation of her has changed over the years so I think I should start fresh.

At the cores of both protagonists, there is a need to keep others at an emotional distance for fear of being hurt by them. I believe this is because of their upbringing, losing both parents and then being passed around several different foster families over the years. We can infer from this that the parents were unfit to care for them, or some similar situation. And so, they subconsciously developed this maladaptive coping mechanism and applied it to all aspects of their lives.

The main difference between Minato and Kotone is how they express it; Minato is apathetic, keeps others away by mostly foregoing social connections, and tries his best to feel nothing at all. On the other hand, Kotone still desires social connection, but can't bring herself to be vulnerable, so she surpresses most of her emotions to only present herself at her 'best'. She always smiles, is always kind, and seems to have endless patience. But by bottling up the rest of her feelings, no one else can get close. There's nothing to grab onto; she can help you, but she doesn't give you the chance to help her even if she really needs it.

I think this informs a lot of her early game social links. Notice how many of them are essentially her standing there being talked to and she only either offers her help or tells someone what they want to hear. (This is most obvious with Hidetoshi's social link) And that's not necessarily a bad thing! But it can become an issue when it turns into a failure to communicate (which it does of course). She very rarely says anything about herself, as though she thinks it wrong to do so, as if she's being selfish or self-centered. It's probably what she tells herself so she doesn't have to contend with her unhealthy habits (yet).

As the game goes on, her ability as a leader improves and the party grows, and along with it the burden of leadership. Eventually saving the whole damn world is on her shoulders. And while she does forge strong relationships with those around her, they're mostly based on helping her friends through tough times, and she never asks anything of them.

She never talks to Yukari about her parents despite the fact they started hanging out because they related to each other about absent parents! She never talks to Mitsuru about the stress that comes with leadership even though she would sympathize completely and would absolutely offer Kotone advice! Because she would need to put down the mask and ask for help, open up and be emotionally honest, which terrifies her.

I think for Kotone to awaken her evolved persona, she would need to break down her walls and reach out for help, as she's done for all her friends. She needs to trust them with how she feels and put faith in them to stay by her side after revealing she's not handing her issues nearly as well as she's lead them to believe.

#raven.txt #persona 3 #kotone shiomi #hamuko arisato #minako arisato

[apollos-boyfriend]

my main beef with matpat was the kris/frisk/chara misgendering and the indie dev thing what the fuck did he do?????

like outside of those things you mean? here's the ones i'd listed/instantly came to mind. a lot of things people rag on him about are like OLD old (early 2010s, like the whole "basing pyro's sex off of weird pseudoscience), which is why i won't be listing Every issue i've had because i want to assume he's grown and changed since then, at least with those things. anyways

has a weird tendency of equating video games to real-life murders. the first time i can remember him doing it was with the first ever fnaf theory, where he said it was about the actual murder of chuck-e-cheese employees and that you played as the murderer rotting in hell. which is. weird enough. but that was 2014, nearly 10 years ago, shit happens. however. that was the only time he's done this. it happened again in 2017-2019 with petscop, equating the game to the murder of a 10 year old girl. and, to his full defense, the creator of petscop ALLEGEDLY said that he did start basing his game off of that case, but that he severely regrets it and regards it as an extremely stupid decision. that doesn't make matpat's actions any less weird, because if you realize a game is Actually tied to the killing of a real-life child, just. don't fucking comment on it. it's weird and even the creator regrets his decision to do so.

on a theory about what i think was a alleged fnaf arg, he asked for his followers to help him "discover more clues" by asking them to physically call/visit locations in the real world he believed were connected to this so-called arg. (from my knowledge, this arg doesn't exist btw.) at NO point during the writing, producing, recording, editing, etc of the video did he manage to connect the dots that, hey, doxxing real-life locations for my fans to swarm to is a Bad Fucking Idea, meanwhile every other major fnaf community rushed to shut it down the SECOND his video came out, with large reddit, twitter, etc accounts imploring for fans not to listen to him, and that similar incidents have happened in the past and led to nothing (to the point where scott cawthon himself has had to step in and tell people to knock it off). i can't remember exactly how long it took for him to take it down/call off the masses, but the fact that it even got published in the first place is honestly just inexcusable, both for him and for his team (this was june of last year)

he blamed etika's suicide on cancel culture and has never apologized. the tweet is still up, for some insane fucking reason, although multiple people both close to matpat and close to etika corrected him on completely erasing the issue of mental health (this was 2019)

and lastly, while i've heard rumors of him stealing theories for years now, the only first-hand i've seen was his hermitcraft theory. the original creator of the theory can be found here [link], alongside all his theories, evidence of theft, etc. she has never been properly credited for this, and those who tried to comment on the video to properly do so had their comments instantly deleted. (this was late 2021)

#muse talk #anon #suicide tw #child death tw #ask to tag #neg #discourse #REALLY covering all my bases here but. yeah. he's kind of a shit person #the first thing is. somehow the less abhorrent one when you put everything side by side like this #like. in the end you can watch what you watch. people say they just use his videos as background noise #which is fair. like whatever. i'm not a cop #i just personally hate his fucking guts xoxo

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Hi, do you have any fics where everyone but Derek don't care about Stiles? Maybe after the Nogitsune where everyone blames him but Derek is the only one who doesn't? Thank you!

Anon asked: post nogitsune stiles, where stiles has nightmares/self harm/or doesn’t eat much

Hi anons. @kevaaronday found these and said "Post-nogitsune fics have always been my fav! Hope you like what i've picked!"

Something Rotten by HappyJuicyfruit (5/5 | 78,762 | Mature | Sterek) Dammit, this was another reason he hated walking around a big city at night, he always managed to catch glimpses of the dark underbelly. He turned around, planning on going the long way home, but he froze when he heard the voice- 

“Let me take you home,” a man said.

“That will cost you more. I get the money before we leave, and I take another hit at your place before we do anything.” Another man slurred. 

That voice. It sounded like- Derek’s feet were moving him towards the men before he could think.

“Stiles?”

I Don’t Deserve It by WordsCreatedWorlds (34/34 | 49,649 | Teen | Sterek) After the defeat of the Nogitsune, Stiles struggles to face what he’s done. Their faces haunt him, and his friends’ grief feels like a knife to the chest. What is Stiles supposed to say when Derek of all people is the only thing keeping him sane? Moving on is hard when revenge is at play.

A Poison I Drink Often by Halevetica (32/32 | 42,590 | Mature | Sterek) It's been years since Stiles left Beacon Hills. He's got a job and a life away from the supernatural, but his past continues to haunt him. He's kept awake by nightmares and memories of those he lost. He puts on a good front when he visits home so no one knows the mess of a man he's become. He's coping, until one particularly bad night when he runs into the last person he ever wanted to see, Derek Hale.

(This started as a one shot but I decided to make it longer)

I found you hidden in plain sight (why’d I take so long?) by Gorgeousgreymatter (7/7 | 25,419 | Explicit | Sterek) Stiles is pretty sure he’s hallucinating. He’s got to be. There’s no other plausible explanation, he thinks, as he sits on the sidelines of the lacrosse field and feels the cold, hard bench underneath him, the roar of the crowd at his back like the worst white noise machine in the world.

There’s no other reason why he sees it, the hulking, black figure of a wolf peering at him from the treeline behind the bleachers. Its eyes flare in the glaring glow of the stadium lights, but they’re the wrong color, he thinks: blood-moon red instead of cobalt blue, but the familiarity of it all makes his stomach roll and clench.

5 Times the Hale Pack Helped to Heal Stiles and the 1 Time the Hale-McCall Pack Helped by anxious_24_7 (6/6 | 8,604 | Teen | Sterek) It’s hard to believe that nobody noticed Stiles falling apart after the whole Nogitsune shebang. He had gained stronger bruises under his eyes. His hands weren’t moving in the same way, not flailing about but shaking nearly all of the time. He didn’t go off on the random tangents about weird things that popped into his head like he had before. He had, it seemed, no life energy anymore.

Saturday Night At The Movies by aussiebee (1/1 | 7,349 | Explicit | Sterek) After running into Stiles at the late night movies, Derek realises just how badly Stiles is handling the post-nogitsune fallout. He knows the feeling.

The Aftermath by tabbytabbytabby (2/2 | 6,005 | Teen | Sterek) After everything that happened with the Nogitsune Stiles was not okay, despite what the pack wanted to believe. Derek finds Stiles alone in the preserve and comforts Stiles and offers Stiles something he hadn't felt in weeks, hope.

I don't trust anyone but you by Delilah2040 (1/1 | 4,722 | Gen | Sterek) Post-Nogitsune, Stiles is pushed out of the pack because they're not sure they can trust him but Derek who doesn't trust anyone keeps him in the loop and comforts the traumatised teen. Cuddling and realisations occur

Void by Sivan325 (1/1 | 1,468 | Teen | Sterek) “Get out, Stiles, you are not welcome in my pack anymore, I can’t stand to look at you and see a murderer in front of me, get out.” Scott told him, his eyes flashed red and the rest of the pack didn’t even stand up for him.

and now i see daylight by spaceprincessem (1/1 | 1,467 | Teen | Sterek) “Are you sure?” Derek asked, tilting his head to the side, the razor held securely in his hand.

“Please.” Stiles begged, swallowing the lump in his throat. 

He didn’t mean to sound so desperate, but it was one of the only feelings he had left in his shriveled up, husk of a body. He was desperate to return to normal. Desperate to get better. Desperate for his friends, his father, to love him again. Desperate to feel like he wasn’t drowning. Derek nodded his head, moving behind Stiles, carefully placing one hand against the back of Stiles’ neck to angle his head just right. Stiles held his breath, eyes squeezing shut as he let himself fall into Derek’s mercy.

Becoming Friends by Chattalgi (1/1 | 1,160 | Not Rated | Sterek) What if after the Nogitsune, Stiles suffered silently from nightmares. What if Derek had come to see him to help him. What if a good friendship were established between them with the approval of the Sheriff.

#teen wolf #sterek #stiles stilinski #derek hale #angst #hurt/comfort #anon

[jpitha]

Dreams of Hyacinth 34

First / Previous / Next

Eastern reached out to Ganymede station while Nick continued to get their bearings. Even though they were a million kilometers or so from it, Jupiter loomed large on the screen. Nick had never seen the planet up close before. It reminded him of the gas giant back home in the Parvati system.

While he stared, he reflected on where he and Eastern were. What were they doing? They were planning on diving back into danger to save their girlfriend sure, but Nick also felt like something larger was happening. Nick hated feeling out of control and yet it has felt like he's been acting at the whims of the Nanites since he got them, and even before that, acting at the whims of other folks. First Jameson, then Raaden, then the Nanites.

Does he even have the ability to follow his own path anymore? Is any decision he makes his?

Nick was staring out into space thinking these thoughts when Eastern got his attention. "Hon? Ganymede says they have to make some room - their docking ring is full - but once they have done so, we have permission to land. ETA is about a day."

Nick snapped out of his reverie. "They said their docking ring is full? Eastern, can you look with our scope? It is actually full?"

"Hmm, I didn't think to look. Let me check."

Another few minutes passed while Eastern scanned. "Huh. It looks like they have a few ships docked, but there is plenty of room. Why would they lie?"

Nick sighed. "They probably guessed who we are, or were told to call for help if anyone unknown linked in. Not one day in Sol and we've been made. We should link away."

Eastern's voice over the comm sounded strained. "But, Nick. If we leave, we're going to lose our chance to find out what happened to Selkirk."

Before Nick could reply, there was a blinding flash, and in front of them was a massive ship. Bigger than a Starjumper, with rounded edges and atmospheric control surfaces. Their radio chimed with a signal and Eastern opened the channel.

"This is the Dreams of Hyacinth. The Sol system is closed to colonial vessels. State your name and your purpose for entering the system." Nick's blood chilled with realization. He recognized that voice.

Eastern gasped. "Selkirk! It's us! It's Nick and Eastern! We came to look for you!"

The signal changed from audio to video. On the screen saw Selkirk standing on the Command Deck of the Hyacinth, dressed in the uniform of Raaden's empire. Her uniform was spotless and she was clearly in charge. Nick could see ten thin wires spilling down from the back of her neck towards the command chair next to her.

Her eyes blinked in surprise. Her ears flicked, and for a split second, it looked like she was pleased to see them. Just as quickly, her expression settled into a snarl. "I've been here the whole time, Nick and Eastern. The more pertinent question is where have you been? Empress Raaden filled me in on your treachery."

Eastern nearly stuttered in her haste to explain themselves. "Treachery? Sel, Helen told us you were dead! She said you died on the operating table during your surgery. She lied to us. She made it clear that unless we went along with her, that things would go badly for us. We ran for our lives. Nick didn't believe it, so we... borrowed a ship from the AIs and came back to Sol to find you!"

Selkirk sat back down in her command chair. As she moved, the cables attached to her moved with her and slid back out of the way. "Pardon me if I find your story hard to believe. You've been gone for five years. There was plenty of time for you to come and find me. No, this is a trick. You were sent here in an AI built ship to come and destabilize us. To try and undo all the good work we've done."

"Sel please!" Eastern's voice was on the edge of tears. "We were in hibernation! We got tricked by the AIs and they put us on ice! We never meant to be gone this long! Let's get together, and we can talk it out, just like the old days."

Selkirk's face hardened. "No Eastern. You and Nick had your chance. You could have come back anytime. Helen herself told me she was willing to hear you out, welcome you back. You made your choice. I've made mine." Selkirk turned away from the camera. "Goodbye Nick. Goodbye, Eastern." The comm link was disconnected.

"No... Sel..." Eastern's voice was quiet.

Nick stared at the dark screen, blinking back tears. Suddenly, a hooting alarm sounded. "Eastern, what's going on?"

"We're being targeted Nick! Missile incoming."

For just a moment, Nick wondered if he should just let them come. No. No, that's not the way, he thought. We can figure this out, get Selkirk back. "Free the slug throwers, we have to defend ourselves." Nick's fingers flew over the panel next to his chair while he tried to find the missiles that Eastern saw.

"What's the point Nick? Sel made her choice. She's lost."

"Eastern! We're not going to sit here and take a missile up the ass because Selkirk rejected us! This is Helen's doing. We'll get Helen and get Selkirk back, but only if we survive. That's what we do hon. We survive." Nick released the slug throwers and main battery himself. Luckily it started to auto target the missile. "Eastern. We are going to get through this, but only if we help each other."

"Okay Nick. I'll help."

The slug thrower's chattering roar vibrated the ship as it attempted to fling metal at the incoming missile. With a small orange and white flash, it was gone.

"We got it hon! Calculate a link away, and we'll regroup. I'll keep an eye out for more missiles." Nick dithered over firing back. No. If they don't shoot they won't run the risk of hurting Selkirk.

"... Okay Nick. Where should we go?"

"I don't know Eastern, anywhere is better than here. Pick someplace."

Nick's console squealed an alarm as an energy spike was detected from Dreams of Hyacinth, and he barely had any time to react before their main battery struck Empress. The blast rang their little ship like a gong, and alerts lit up red all over his panel. Another hit like that would take them out. "Eastern! We can't take another hit like that. Get us out of here!" Nick's ears rung with the blast and his ears popped. Pressure loss. A huge pressure door clanged shut, sealing the command deck and Nick felt a breeze as the deck was re-pressurized.

Eastern's voice sounded strangely quiet and muffled. "I'm trying Nick, I'm trying. I don't feel right. I think that hit damaged the wormhole generator or something. I'm trying to work around it." Empress shot away from Hyacinth on thrusters as Nick's console hooted that they had another lock.

Before Nick could bring the slug throwers around again, there was another flash and a ship appeared in front of them. Eastern squeaked and flipped Empress over, trying to thrust in another direction so they didn't strike the unknown ship. Nick had never seen this kind of ship before either. It was larger than they were, but smaller than Starjumper, and had a wild blue and orange paint scheme. It instantly opened up more laser batteries than Nick thought possible on the Hyacinth. Selkirk's ship lit up with the light and energy of the blasts. Nick's first impulse was to tell them to stop shooting, but the words caught in his mouth as he realized that Selkirk didn't seem to feel the same way.

"Who the hell is that Eastern?"

"I don't know Nick, but they're helping. Open a comm channel and ask, I'm still trying to keep us from blowing up."

Nick toggled the radio. "Unknown ship, this is Empress, thank you for the assist. Who are we speaking to?"

The commlink switched to video and a Mariens was sitting in front of them. Nick blinked in surprise. He knew of Mariens from the news back when Melody came into Sol, but he had never seen one up close. They really did have a octopus look about them. "This is Captain Dev'inna of the Immar IV. We're going to grab you with our grapple and link you to safety. Hold tight."

Before Nick could react, practically the entire bottom of the Immar split open, revealing a massive grapple arm. With practiced precision, Immar grabbed the top of Empress and slid it closer.

Empress was smaller than Immar, but not so small as to be brought inside the Mariens ship and before Nick could ask what they were doing, there was a disorienting flash and they both linked away.

When they reappeared in space, Captain Dev'inna called again. "Sorry about that. We didn't want Dreams of Hyacinth to know what we were doing or where we were going. We still try and keep a low profile these days. We're safer now, but we won't be safe until we're docked inside the Reach. Follow us please."

Nick looked out and he couldn't believe what he was seeing. It was a Starbase, almost as large at High Mars Hyacinth, but teardrop shaped. The widest part of the teardrop was the top and had angular protrusions, almost like skyscrapers. The bottom, pointed part of the teardrop was surrounded by a ring. Nick couldn't help it and blurted out "What is that?"

Captain Dev'inna chuckled. "That friends, is Reach of the Might of Vzzx. The last Builder Starbase. The AIs helped bring it out here after Melody's... plan failed. Even though we were on the other side of the war, they didn't feel right leaving us on the other side of the galaxy. For that - and only that - we thank them. We can speak more in person. Come on."

They closed the connection. Eastern said "Well... I guess we should follow them. It seems like they're here to help us."

Nick leaned back in his seat. "Yes, but why? How did they know we were here and more importantly, how did they know we needed help?"

"All good questions hon. Let's ask them when we get inside."

Eastern turned Empress to follow Immar IV, and they slowly continued on towards the massive station. Instead of going towards the ring, Immar went near the middle, and as they approached, doors large enough to admit a Starjumper opened. Immar slid in and as Eastern got close, she felt a pull and grunted. "Huh. They have some kind of field. We're being pulled in on our own. That makes landings easy at least."

All in all, the landing only took about 30 minutes as Empress drifted slowly past other ships, all in different stages of repair or construction. Some of the bays looked like the ships had been half built for decades, others were bright and busy with work.

Without any fanfare, Empress slipped into an empty bay, and with a hum and a flash, a field sprung up near the door and Nick began to hear noise as air rushed into the bay. A few minutes later, Empress's systems spun down and Eastern came up to the command deck, rubbing the back of her head. "I don't know about you Nick, but I don't think I like being a ship that long. The change from my body to ship makes me feel... odd. I hope I don't have to be driving all the time."

Nick smiled and hugged Eastern. He tilted his head up and kissed her gently. "I'll drive next time if we need to hon. Thanks for doing it this time."

She smiled, and they made their way towards the exit.

Empress was never designed for atmospheric work, so the main airlock opened about two meters over the deck. Nick watched as an Aviens and Mariens rushed over with a wheeled set of stairs, and leaned them against Empress. Nick and Eastern carefully climbed down and thanked the dockworkers.

"Of course Empress, Emperor. Please, Captain Dev'inna and Sound of the City are waiting to meet you. This way."

Looking at each other, but saying nothing, Nick and Eastern shrugged and followed the workers. They passed through a thick airlock.

Nick and Eastern boggled. There were easily more people here than anywhere either of them had ever seen. Even Congregation Square, the busiest part of Hyacinth couldn't compare. Hyacinth was built large to make it feel roomy. The Reach was apparently built large to hold a lot of people. While they stood there, they saw all kinds of sapients. People they'd only read about or seen pictures or video. Mariens, Aviens, Azurians, and even a few of the Falor, who lived in atmospheric suits all the time outside of their district. Nick remembered reading about them, apparently quite a few relocated to one of the floating cities on Venus, because they could just lower it deeper into the Venusian atmosphere and make a more tolerable place for them.

After a moment, Captain Dev'inna rushed over with one of the bird looking people, the Aviens with them. They were wearing a royal blue uniform and under it had shimmering feathers.

Eastern looked around. Actually lots of people here wore the same Royal Blue that Melody wore.

"Empress! Emperor! Welcome to Reach of the Might of Vzzx! We're so glad you're here!" Captain Dev'inna bowed low.

"Indeed. We finally feel whole again. It is such a joy to see you." The Aviens matched the bow of Dev'inna. "I am Sound of the City, current Head Builder on the Reach and leader of the Administration."

Nick and Eastern returned the bows without thinking. Nick thought it was odd that they both did that, but at the same time it felt... right to do it. "Builder? I thought all the Builders were killed when... the AIs captured the Reach?" Nick said.

City's eyes sparkled. "Yes, and I suppose they thought the Empresses destroyed when they killed Melody. And yet, you stand before us."

Eastern narrowed her eyes. "What about Empress Raaden?"

City scoffed. "We do not recognize her authority. Do you know that she has not returned to the reach once since Melody died? She has made no speeches, she has done no rites. She is not empress, she merely has the Nanites. Being Empress is more than nanotechnology."

Eastern looked like she was about to say something else, but Nick held up his hand. "Captain Dev'inna, Sound of the City, please accept our most grateful thanks for the help, but I must ask. How did you know we were there? How did you know we needed help? How did you know we even existed?"

Sound of the City looked surprised. "Emperor, are you testing us? We knew where you were for the same reason that you knew how to return our greetings. For the same reason you both are speaking our languages instead of your own Colonic."

"The Nanites told us."

#humans are deathworlders #humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities #sci fi writing #writing #humans and aliens #jpitha #the k’laxiverse #The Dreams of Hyacinth

[googleitlol]

It's been awhile but I wanted to post this little blurb to continue my Dove fic posts. I'm almost done with midterms so it felt nice to flesh out pt. 1 of this scene for a little break!

btw… ik this is a wukong x reader but, uh, it takes a while for the whole shipping part to happen… I'm sorry they literally hate each other but I'll get to the actual shipping when it happens, naturally. (It just might take… time) ANYWAY ENJOY–

Dove Masterlist

TW: Gore

Disagreements

The young monk shivers slightly at the chill of an adolescent winter's breeze. Many of the flora along the road that has been so frequently travelled was now coated in a blanket of frost. Snow has yet to fall, though it will no doubt come soon. Clouds cross the sky at a steady pace, the wind encouraging their movement. 

You walk alongside the horse that carries the Tripitaka monk, feeling the need to stretch your legs. The past few days you spent in your dove form were nice, despite having to listen to all of that irritating monkey's exaggerated tales, but sitting on Tripitaka's shoulder for so long began to feel tiring.

The Monkey King walks on the other side of the horse, whether he is unaware of your annoyed glances or just doesn't care is unclear. After spending the entire morning boasting to his master about his many accomplishments, one would think that he'd look your way and catch your glare. Or maybe he just enjoys seeing such a sour look on your face. With him, who knows?

The young master himself also failed to pick up on the annoyance that stems from his trusted ally, too enamoured with his disciple's stories. Wukong has a true sense for theatrics, which made his tall tales all the more entertaining. Even if the monk seemed ever so slightly put off whenever the king explained how he committed some of the atrocities from his past to earn his reputation, Tripitaka kept his small smile from the excitement in the monkey's voice.

Sighing over the tale of how the Great Sage earned his iron staff, Tripitaka turns to you. "What of you, young companion?" The question makes you look up in slight surprise. "You've nearly lived as long as Pilgrim Monkey here, even despite your mortality. Have you any tales as grand as his?"

You hum for a moment, in thought as your memory of every exciting moment from your life fails to recall itself. "None that comes to mind, Great Monk. I spent most of my life in training, which was long and tedious."

The young man frowns. "You've lived over five hundred years, have you not? Surely you have some stories to tell."

His curiosity makes you hum in amusement. The monk is close to you in age, though his wide eyes of wonder fill you with a strange warmth. Many weeks have passed since the start of the journey, and if not for the formalities you attempt to hold yourself to, you might consider the Great Monk a good companion, a friend. But that feels inappropriate to say.

"I suppose there are some, though not all of them are as light-hearted as the supposed Great Sage." You cast another glance to the celestial primate, who now finally looks to you. His expression is neutral, though, from the past few weeks of travel, you feel that the short abrupt flicks from the tip of his tail expose a glimpse at his own irritation.

Maybe he can't handle not having his master's attention. Good. "However, I haven't lived as long as you believe. Those five hundred years were spent in the Jade Palace, where time moves differently. What was centuries on the mortal plain was merely a few years for me."

To your surprise, the monk laughs lightly, eyes shining in delight. "You say you have no stories to tell, yet you lived in the Jade Palace? Never have I heard of a mortal staying in the realm of the celestials." You don't miss the twitch of Sun Wukong's brow, a hint of a smirk creeping its way onto your face. "Tell me, what is it like there?"

"Why ask the measly Dove?" Wukong laughs before you can answer. "I lived up there as well, you know. I've held two separate positions with those heavenly deities! I can tell you of the feasts, how servants waited on me, that I was given my very own office, even!"

You nearly surprise yourself as a cackle escapes your throat. The two men look at you as you cough discreetly into your arm. "Apologies, but you were the stable boy, were you not?" His tail flicks another time, now being accompanied with his ears flattening against his head. The Great Sage really spoke more through his body language than his words, you found.

"My second position was much more important." His eyes roll as his arms cross. "Not that you could understand what it means to be given such responsibilities from the court of heaven."

He's defensive, that's cute. "Maybe not. Although, you didn't seem to last long in either job offer, did you?"

That makes him laugh proudly. "At least I earned my place there by becoming the strongest. What did you do, again? Give Guan Yin some sad eyes until she gave you your little vacation?"

You frown at that, eyes narrowing. "Don't act like your presence was wanted, Ape." Tripitaka gives you a look of surprise at the snap of tone in your voice. "I was there because I had to be, we are not the same. You earned your place by causing so many problems, the Court's only diplomatic option was to keep you entertained!"

"And what do you know of my matters in Heaven?" Sun Wukong barks out another laugh, his tone mocking. You clench your fist as you glare at the being before you. His tail whips wildly now from side to side, his teeth bared with a threatening smile.

His question makes you roll your eyes, as though he had forgotten your very first encounter."Did your time under that mountain make you senile or did you forget I witnessed your rampage firsthand, you idiotic, brainless, stupid and foul—"

"Stop!" Your eyes snap towards the direction of a new voice. Men quickly surround you and the pilgrims, all brandishing weapons against your group. Tripitaka looks between them all with fear as you smile to yourself. It's been too long since there was some action on this trip. 

One of the six blocking your path steps forward, a man holding out his sword as he spoke. “Leave your horse and drop your bags, otherwise us kings of the highway will cut you down where you stand!” You can see he means business, but it only makes you itch to jump into action. It’ll be good to take down such lawless men–

A body hits the ground before you can reach for your weapon.

The bandits fall silent, five pairs of eyes wide with fear as the Pilgrim readjusts the grip of his staff. A steady drip of scarlet liquid falls by his feet. The body before him lays on its side, its head caved in a few paces away. Blood pours from it, pooling over the ground just where some of his insides are now exposed. The man’s eyes are still open, stuck in an expression stricken with terror.

“Whoops.” The monster shrugs. “Sometimes I forget what flimsy bodies you have.”

They all run, screaming as their prosecutor gives chase. Not a single man made it off the road. All you can do is stand amidst it all, the young monk atop the horse mirroring your expression of absolute dread. The men no longer hold life in their eyes, their bodies bent and mangled, spread along the path with their weapons in the now non-existent grasp of their hands. The Monkey King stood between it all, his hand casually wiping away the blood that had splashed onto his face in his swift deliverance of death. He didn’t even bother with the ripples of deep red that now stain his clothing and arms.

You have to fight back the bile that attempts to claw up your throat. While you manage to succeed, Tripitaka fails miserably. The monk fumbles off the horse, nearly losing his footing before you catch and help him to the side of the road where he empties his stomach. You’ve seen horrors, bodies of demons dismembered and bathed in blood. Many fights end in casualties, death is nothing new, but to see the Monkey King wield his staff…

It doesn’t help seeing human bodies discarded in such a way… no matter how many demons you’ve fought, seeing a person mutilated in such a way always leaves a gaping hole in the depths of your stomach and an intense weight holding down your heart.

Sun Wukong looks at the two of you, unbothered by his actions. “That guy has some spare arrows, Dove. You can never have too many, right?”

You can’t manage to say a word before Tripitaka regains his bearings and marches towards his disciple. “What have you done?!”

“Me?” The demon laughs. “Got us some free clothes, and a pretty good travel allowance if these guys were any good at robbing.”

“You killed them! You murdered six men!” The monk shouts, his voice just barely withholding an emotion you have yet to see from the man.

Wukong scoffs at the appalled reaction to his actions. “And you’re welcomed for it.”

“No–” The man sighs. “Sun Wukong, you’re a buddhist now, and we don’t kill people.”

“Pssh– they were asking for it.” The monkey scoffs, crouching down to shake some more of the human remains off his staff.

“No!” You’re surprised to hear such a strong demand from the measly monk, his voice more stern than you’ve ever heard. “You made a deal with the bodhisattva and whether you like it or not you will uphold your part of the bargain. That means not killing people!”

The disciple looks up at that. “You’re really upset? They wanted to rob you.”

“Not even a judge would give a death sentence for that!” He argues, his open glare taking his new student aback.

“Hey, what’s done is done. You can sit here and complain about it or we can keep moving.” He turns to continue west, looking over his shoulder as he does. His expression is more annoyed now, his tail flicking to and fro impatiently, waiting for his Master’s sign to keep moving.

But Tripitaka’s stare bears down on his pupil. “No. I won’t take another step with a murderer claiming to be my disciple.”

“Come on, you’re being ridiculous.” The Monkey King turns back to face us, a frown now hardening over his features.

“A person who murders in cold blood cannot call himself a buddhist.”

The two glare daggers into one another, it almost takes you aback. You didn’t realise the monk could take such a stand, yet here he is. Against the Great Sage, no less. Yet he refuses to back down, even with the demon challenging him. The air between the two feels thick, as though it’s become a semisolid you have to hold your breath in.

After what feels like an eternity, the monkey laughs. “Fine then, I guess I’m no buddhist.” He turns, taking a few steps away before calling back. “Good luck making it to the west, Master.” 

“Wha–” Before Tripitaka is even able to speak, Monkey King hops onto his Somersault Cloud. “Wait, you can’t leave!”

“Watch me.” The demon glances back to the two of you, and you catch his eye for the briefest moment. Before he takes off, you make sure he sees the grin resting on your face. You know that all he’s doing is proving your point, from your talk by the river. He knows it too, and he must hate it.

He’s gone before another second can pass, and all that’s left on the path is you, Tripitaka, the horse, and six dead men.

The monk keeps his eyes on the path the Great Sage took through the sky, his eyes wide with despair. “…What did I just do?”

Slowly, you approach the man, resting a hand on his shoulder. “You scolded a centuries-old demon for good reason, and he went to sulk about it.”

“No… no, no, no, no! This is terrible!” Tripitaka’s hands shoot to his head, eyes wide and panicked. “I’ve lost my first disciple! What am I supposed to do? Where did he even go?! I was angry, I didn’t mean–” 

“Monk, you must calm yourself.” You disrupt the spiral of distress before it can continue any longer. “You did the right thing. Your disciple did something wrong, you confronted him. Look at his actions!”

As the monk turns to glance at the casualties left behind, you quickly stop him. “Actually, don’t. I wouldn’t want you to get sick again.”

“I didn’t mean for him to leave, but I couldn’t just excuse–” The man cuts himself off, his face pale from just the thought of what we had witnessed mere moments ago.

Holding his arms, you offer a comforting smile. “I understand, but there’s no need to worry.”

“No need?” He guffaws. “Sun Wukong is gone!”

You sigh quietly under your breath. “I’m sorry for not saying anything sooner, but I had a feeling something like this would happen. I just didn’t think it’d be this soon.” You do your best to suppress the chuckle that tries to escape your throat.

“Guan Yin has left me with something for a situation like this.”

The slight frown you receive tells you the man’s interest is now piqued. “What?”

You glance back at the road before answering. “Help me with the robbers, and I’ll explain. Your disciple will be back, and we’ll have to be ready when he does.”

“I… I don’t understand.” Tripitaka frowns. “How do you know he’ll return?”

You don’t bother to hide your smirk as you think back to that night by the river.

 “I'll be there to watch the moment you mess up.”

“He’ll want to prove me wrong.”

#honey no #you don't know what you're abt to do #girlie abt to unleash pure trauma #little dove #sun wukong #jttw sun wukong #tripitaka #jttw tripitaka #journey to the west #sun wukong x reader #jttw

[babybluebanshee]

Things I've Had To Deal With As A City Librarian: I'm Just So Tired

Haven't done one of these in a while, and things have just been...they've been a time, let me tell you.

*We caught a guy hiding in one of the bathroom stalls after closing. We check the bathrooms to clean up any messes for the next day, and Julie knocked on the men's room door. No one answered, so she went in and checked the stalls. Didn't see any feet so she starts opening the doors. She gets to the handicap stall, and she tries to open it. It's locked. She mutters something about having to unlock it, and suddenly a voice from inside calls out, "Hey, I'm still in here." Julie nearly shrieks. The guy claims that his fly was stuck, but given the fact he didn't say anything when Julie came in and we couldn't see his feet under the stall door means he was probably crouched on the toilet, hoping we'd think the bathroom was empty and he could spend the night in the library.

*My coworker Allie did a cute little display in the kids area where you can write a letter to Curious George. She even made cardboard mailbox for it and put out a bunch of books and movies for people to check out. The amount of vandalism this thing has seen is unreal. One night a kid poked holes in the mailbox with a colored pencil. I was doing a walkthrough after a particularly rowdy family was in the kids area, only to discover that they have thrown everything on the display into the mailbox - the books, the movies, the postcards, the coloring materials, even one of the book stands. We spent about ten minutes fishing everything out.

*Speaking of displays, I did the Black History Month one this year. I worked on it for three months, and to be honest, I was very proud of it. It took up two tables, full of historical events and famous figures of black history. Needless to say, since black history is so damn expansive and my space was limited, a lot of people ended up getting left off (especially local people I'd never learned about). The amount of times people told me I left out a person they personally believed should be on it drove me to distraction. Two separate people told me I missed Kamala Harris (which I'll be kicking myself forever about). One woman asked me why I didn't redo the whole display to add one local figure she thought needed to be included. One woman asked me why she herself was not included one the poet's wall, because she was a published author. No, she was not kidding. I guess I should be thrilled that people were actually interacting with it, but at least a few people telling me I did a good job would have been fucking nice.

*To branch off from the black history month display - the city has an anti-discrimination policy when it comes to people reserving rooms for events. The only thing we explicitly do not allow is social events like parties and anyone attempting to sell something; everything else is fair game. This means we get a lot of obnoxious groups whose views we really, really do not agree with - homeschoolers, churches, conservative clubs, and, my personal favorite, the Sons of the Confederacy. Or as Rachel and I like to call them, The Sons of a Bunch of Loser Piss Babies. They had a meeting there during February, and Rachel was working that day. One of them, in his stupid little gray hat, was standing talking to someone...right next to my black history month display. Rachel told me she wanted to take a picture because the juxtaposition was...stark, to say the least. We're really not that surprised Failfuck McStank didn't notice the irony.

*We've had a guy coming in with his guitar and just...hanging out in the study rooms to play. We can't really do anything about it unless he's too loud or someone actively complains, but we're all kind of puzzled about the library being his first choice of places for a jam session.

*There's a pair of teenage girls that have been coming in for about four months now and their punk vibe is immaculate. The first time I ever saw them, one of them had a giant bleach blond mohawk, a leather jacket with studs, hot pink and black striped stockings, and the most badass combat boots I've ever seen. Her friend had a bleach blond buzzcut, a black jean jacket covered in patches, teal leggings, and red converse that were falling apart. Sherri stumbled on them chilling in the kids area, and noticed the buzzcut one was bent over something. She got closer and realized the kid was knitting a scarf. Mohawk comes in more often, and always has a thick book with her, just lounging in the chairs and quietly reading for a few hours. They're my second favorite patrons and hope they never change.

*A woman was interested in attended my classic book club meeting back in June. We were reading Fun Home by Alison Bechdel, so I gave her a copy. She didn't attend the meeting. She returned the book a few days later and said it was "gross". While she was there, she also picked up her inter library loan of a "romance" novel about a woman falling in love with her abusive stepbrother. I'm all for people reading whatever the fuck they want, but I also feel like if you're gonna read stepsibling porn, you don't get to call lesbian comics gross.

*Two women came in with a little boy who was absolutely bouncing off the walls. They did absolutely nothing to control him - one of them was busy talking to someone on her phone (on speaker till someone complained), the other was perusing the shelves - and the kid was just kind of running around being a nuisance. I was walking back from helping someone in the computer lab and saw the kid taking off his shirt. I told him he had to keep his shirt on, and that's when one of the women finally turned to me and said, "He wants to put his Spider-Man costume on." And I'm like, "Lady, that's great, but you're in a public space, not your living room. Have him change in the bathroom." Luckily they didn't hang around long after that, but fucking hell, the entitlement.

*A woman came in to fax a police report to her lawyer, and Sherri and I ended up being privy to the sordid tale of having her car stolen. She was out with a guy she met on Tinder, and they went to a bar in the next town over. They were getting ready to leave, but she wanted to have a cigarette, so they were standing by her car in the parking lot. Suddenly, three police cars come shooting up, right next to them. Turns out the dude she's with has a warrant out for his arrest. He panics, grabs her keys out of her hand, jumps in the car, and fucking peels away. He ended up crashing it into a ditch less than ten miles away, totaling it. She doesn't even know what warrant was for.

*It's very funny whenever I call anyone for reserve reminders or things like that, because people are so used to getting calls from robots and scammers that they're immensely suspicious any time they answer their phone. And it makes the absolute 180 they do into delighted toddlers, excited to get their books, that much funnier. The scenario usually goes like this:

Me: Hi, is this [insert name]?

Patron: *clearly doing the suspicious Fry face* Yeeeees...

Me: This is Blue, at the library! I was just calling to let you know you have a book on reserve ready for pick up!

Patron: *brightening instantly* OMG thank you! Oh, I'm so glad you called! You've made my day, you guys are wonderful!

Never fails to make me chuckle.

*The assistant librarian is in charge of a lot of the teen programs we do, and by far the most popular are her teen book boxes - the kids fill out a form of stuff they enjoy, and she puts together a box of three books, plus crafts and snacks, for them. On average, she does about twenty of them a month. However - because we are located in the heart of Conservative Brainrot Land, where a not insignificant portion of the population thinks if they're a good little conservative who hates what Fox News tells them to, Tucker Carlson will come give them the hug their dad never did - this has also given us great insight into the minds of ultra controlling parents who would encase their kids in wax if that could keep them from learning things they don't want them to. One particularly baffling example started with a mom asking that no "social justice" be included in the box. The next one asked for "no gender identity". This time? No inclusion. Like...I get why she put that. Because inclusivity = woke = liberal = the devil. But like...do these people hear themselves? Do they know what words mean? Also, I told the AL that she should just give the kid an empty box. She did not follow my advice.

*On the flip side of the crazy, controlling parent thing, y'all remember this family from a while ago? The one where the aunt came in and said Pretty Little Liars had opened a satanic portal that drove her niece to a mental hospital? Well, I'm happy to report that I think the mother of that girl might have had a face turn. The same kid just recently returned several books from the Anita Blake series (which are pretty mature as far as sexuality goes), and she's been in talks with the AL to volunteer for us, informing her that she doesn't know her schedule just yet because her mother is letting her start public school. I like to think the mom looked at that whole situation, took a long, hard look at herself in the mirror, and thought, "Ya know what? I don't think I want to be like this anymore. I think this is a problem." And ya know what? Good for her, and good for that girl. I hope it does them both a world of good.

#woe to the librarian #the conservative brain rot is starting to leech into my professional life #and i'll be here to report on it every chance i can

[ikarisenpai]

Title: Never Forget Pairing: Kim Namjoon x f!reader Word Count: 5k+ Genre: Little Angsty, Fluff Summary: Its been over a year since your break up and things looked okay. You thought you were over him and he you, but what happened at the summer pool bash... may have brought up some memories.. and now your second guessing yourself, did you really get over your ex Kim Namjoon? Warning: Swearing, slight groping, touchy to the boobs and butt, broken hearts, break up chatter, do you even love me?, are you over your ex and is he? (Again I never know how to label these things...) Note: Hello again! Second one of the seven as I might just keep writing until I've done all seven of the Bangtan boys :) I heard Jungkook's new album the other day and I may have some ideas come from that one! So be on the look out for that in the future! I am taking requests so if you have any ideas, please fill free to let me know if not I hope you enjoy this one. Took me a few days to write this one, but I enjoyed it and I hope you do too! Hope you all are having a good day/night and I'll talk to you all in the next one! Byyyeeee!

“I hate you.” 

“You don’t mean that..”

“I do, and I wish you would leave me alone.” 

He stared nearly frozen as he was shocked you had told him that. His voice slightly off as he spoke, “You don’t mean that… you’re just upset… Maybe if we take a step back and-”

You cut him off, shaking your head as you were really done with him, “No, don’t talk to me… Don’t even look at me… You disgust me…” the words fell from your lips like venom as you were about to cry but couldn’t as you wanted to be strong while telling him this.

He frowned, nearly tearing up as he nodded his head, your last words echoing as you told him, “I’m breaking up with you… we are through…”

Those were the last words you spoke to Kim Namjoon.

The last time you actually saw him, really.

After leaving and moving back into the dorms with your roommate Kimmy. You didn’t see him nor talk to him as it was like he moved to a different college or, even worse, a different town. His other friends were still in the area. As they still kept in touch with you. It was just… after you told Namjoon to fuck off he kinda just disappeared and since then it was like he never existed. Just a memory at this point. A fog only you remember.

“Ohmigod, can you believe that Taehyung and Jungkook both asked me out? I mean I get that I’m pretty, but to have them both ask me out is so freaking wild!” Kimmy, your best friend and roommate, gloated as you were both sitting outside enjoying the last bit of summer before college started again. You were both juniors at this point and with your last two years coming in fast you honestly couldn’t think of a better way of spending your summer than sitting by the pool with your best friend.

“They just want to get into your pants, Kim, there both fuck boys and you know that. I mean have you seen the people Jungkook has slept with? I mean why would you wanna fuck with that? And Taehyung he’s honestly had a thing for you for a while. You just didn’t realize it until now because he was too chicken to ask you out. I would go for Taehyung, but at this rate neither of them sound like a good idea, but that’s just my thoughts on the whole thing.” you said as Kim looked at you with wide eyes.

“You're just jealous because you and Joonie broke up. Sorry your romance life is so boring. Maybe you should have thought things through when you and him were fighting. I mean you two seemed so happy, what happened?” Kimmy asked as you really didn’t want to talk about it. You and him haven’t seen each other since last September and that it took your entire sophomore year for you to get over the break up, that it was time for you to move on. Time to find someone else to either A.) sleep with or B.) settle down with and try again. Yet every time Kimmy brought up Namjoon you didn’t want anyone else. You couldn’t see anyone else because your heart belongs to him and only him. He was the man you wanted to settle down with, but now that a year had gone by who’s to say he didn’t move on and find somebody else, someone who actually gave a fuck about his emotions.

“Nothing that concerns you really. Just him and I didn’t see eye to eye so I broke it off simply as that.” You said as you turned to see Jimin and Hoseok walk through the pool gate and wave as you were happy that someone else had come to enjoy the pool. Sure the campus had other things to do, but everyone knew that the pool was the hot spot for the summer it just sucked because you didn’t have anyone to hang on like cute couples do and the one person you did want to hang on wasn’t with you, he was off somewhere else probably enjoying life now that you were out of the picture.

“Hey! What are you two doing here? I thought you would have decided to stay inside where it would be cooler, playing video games or something.” Hoseok smiled as he looked over at you and then over at Kimmy where she glared getting up from the pool and made her way over to the tables where her stuff was at. She and him didn’t see eye to eye and since their break up, Kimmy has been sorta sleeping around… sleeping around as in she’s been sleeping with Hoseok’s friends behind his back and only you knew that because you were also friends with said friends.

“I thought about it not going to lie, but there was nobody here so why not take the opportunity and enjoy the pool while it's quiet for now. Who knows what will happen tonight after the pool bash. Will the pool still be open or will there be so much alcohol and puke all over the place that they have to shut it down just to clean it up. It’s life’s greatest question.” You laughed as Kimmy told you she was going to head back to the dorms and that she’ll see you later tonight at the bash. Hoseok rolling his eyes as he sat down and smiled, asking you to put sunscreen on his back as he didn’t want the summer sun burning him.

“You know I know she’s sleeping around… you don’t have to keep it hidden from me.” Hoseok said once he and you were alone. Jimin had forgotten his towel so he had to run back just so he had something to dry off after he was done swimming.

“I didn’t say-” You began as he cut you off.

“I know, I was just saying…” Hoseok sighed as he looked over at where she left and then back at the water kicking his feet as he bit his inner cheek, “It’s just sad seeing her throw herself out there like that. I mean I did everything I could to support her in her dreams and this is how she repays me? Sleeping with Jungkook and now Taehyung? Am I really that much of a bad boyfriend that she thought cheating and sleeping around was the right idea?” 

You shook your head, “I don’t think you're a bad guy, Hoseok, Kimmy is just going through her hoe phase that when the right girl comes around you’ll know. Trust me, you’ll know.” 

Hoseok gave a small smile as he nodded his head, he leaned back to enjoy the sun’s rays as this was probably the perfect time to get a sun tan, if the boy could tan. He was a bit darker than your skin tone but from what you could tell he too would rather stay inside. 

“Sorry about leaving you two like that, I honestly thought I brought a towel and guessed not, where did Kimmy go?” Jimin asked as he decided to join you both on the edge of the pool.

“Oh, you know, to get as far as away from me as she can. Are you coming to the bash? I heard Namjoon was supposed to be there… would you wanna see how things go and see if you could get your man back?” Hoseok teased as he bumped shoulders with you.

“I’m sure he would much rather hang out with Seokjin and the others than be seen with me. Plus I don’t know if I could see him with someone else right now. I mean do you know if he’s seeing someone… I mean I don’t care… if he is… I’m just curious, that’s all!” you stumbled with your words as Hoseok knew you were trying to get him to say something, anything to get you to stay home and away from your ex. You honestly didn’t want to see him and another woman hanging all over him as you thought you were over him, but to be honest you weren’t. You were so in love with him that even though you had been away from him for over a year, that year felt like days and those days you wished you could get back because you missed him. You truly missed being Kim Namjoon’s girlfriend.

“I don’t think he’s seeing anyone really. I mean last I heard he was very focused on his classes and that he even moved to the afternoon classes because he wasn’t getting enough sleep because he was up all night studying. I’m sure seeing him at the bash will be okay, if not at least come hang out with me so I’m not alone.” Jimin chuckled as he kicked his feet back and forth smiling a little.

“You and Yoongi not going together? I thought you two were like two peas in a pod, what happened?” You asked, turning and leaning over Hoseok so you could see Jimin’s full face to read his expression.

“He has some huge test tomorrow for work.. Said he wanted to get a full day’s rest so he doesn’t oversleep.. As if that man needs sleep. He’s a fucking genius.” Jimin replied as you and Hoseok laughed. The three of you chatted as you told them fine you would go and that maybe just maybe you’ll find someone else to replace Namjoon and your broken heart, but that was if he didn’t show up, if he did show up then well… maybe you could talk to him. It was just chatter right? No harm in that.

Wrong.

You were absolutely wrong. 

Namjoon had brought someone. A pretty girl with bright pink hair and pale skin. She looked like she could belong in a movie or a tv show and people were swooning over her. Hell Kimmy and Jimin were swooning over her and they were your best friends. What happened to leaving no man behind? 

“Ugh, I can’t believe I came. I should've just stayed home.” you huffed as you walked to the side where the snacks and drinks were set up. You could smell the alcohol and could tell that there was a lot in it. You knew this was supposed to be the end of the year summer bash, but to think that people were drinking near the pool was a hazard. Who was trying to drown? Sure wasn’t you.

“God, where can I find a pretty girl like that? I look here and all I see is you and I know you don’t swing that way.” Rae said as you laughed.

“I also don’t see you in that way even if I did. You're like an older sister really why would I ruin that.” you said as you looked over at Rae who was eyeing your ex’s girlfriend, “Plus I don’t think he’s really into her. Maybe he brought her just to make me jealous if I showed up. I mean she is pretty, but is she prettier than me?” 

Rae shook her head as she smiled, “No, baby girl, no one is prettier than you, but if you're thinking about what you think you're going to do, don’t do it. You're just going to get yourself hurt and I really don’t want a repeat of last time… and you know how bad last time was. Do you want to repeat that?” 

You shook your head no.

“That’s what I thought. Just enjoy the party and if you do by chance bump into him then talk to him, but for now enjoy the party, go swimming, dance a little. Just have fun okay?” Rae said as you nodded your head. You took a large gulp of your drink and cringed as it was 90% alcohol and 10% juice.

“I’ll try, but if it gets bad I’m leaving. There is no way in hell I’m staying just because you assholes made me come.” 

“No one made you come, hun, we just have a way with words. Now, come on. Come dance with me.” Rae smiled as you nodded your head once more. You chugged the rest of your drink hoping it would help calm your nerves as you joined your friend on the dance floor. Your body pressed against hers as she was probably the only friend you would ever dance like this with. The music pounding in your ears as the song that was playing was a favorite and that with this you let your body get wild. Moving to the music as you somehow ended up with a different dance partner and this one looking a bit more cute now that you were staring at them.

“Hey, you look lonely, wanna keep dancing or do you wanna move to the side and make out?” the guy asked as he had bright baby blue eyes. He had blonde hair on top and shaved sides which kinda made him look like Namjoon back during his blonde hair faze, yet this guy could pull it off better than your ex. Your body slowly grinding against his as the man chuckled, taking his hands and letting them roam. Your eyes closed as you let the music take over and from there on out danced with your mystery man.

“Hey! Get off my girl like that. She shouldn’t be dancing with you when she should be dancing with me!” a deep voice interrupted your dance as the man who was now holding you closer allowed his hands to roam your body and somehow got his hands to rest on your breasts where the other male did not like. He did not like one bit.

“You with this guy?” Your mystery dance partner asked as you opened your eyes and saw Namjoon nearly glaring. 

“Nope, never seen him a day in my life. Why? Is he bothering you? Should we move somewhere else?” You asked as you looked up at your partner and smiled. You could tell the boozes were working as you didn’t care who you were dancing with as long as you were dancing with someone.

“Babe, what do you mean you don’t know me? Of course you do! We're dating.” Namjoon said that was a stab to the heart. You guys were single. Have been for over a year now. Why now was he making such a big deal knowing he had brought some girl to replace you or show that he had moved on.

“No, we’re not , why don’t you go bug someone else and just let me dance with my friend here. I saw you come in with someone, why aren’t you with them?” You asked as your dance partner was trying to move to the music again and this time he got a little handsy and grabbed your butt.

Namjoon huffed as he grabbed your arm and took you away. The guy you were dancing with was clearly annoyed as he didn’t follow you and that wherever Namjoon was taking you was not where you wanted to be.

“What are you doing? Why are you even here and why do you care what I do?” You asked as he was now getting you a bottle of water and shoving it towards you as you didn’t want to drink it, but much rather drink more so you could forget Namjoon even showing up here.

“Because I know what he was going to do if you kept drinking. He was going to take you back to his house and have his way with you. Why are you acting this way?”

“Because I can and will. You're not my boyfriend anymore, Namjoon, why does it matter if I drink and sleep with other guys? We're clearly not together and you clearly moved on, so…” You said as you decided not to drink the water he gave you but another red solo cup.

“Because I still care for you y/n… I still Lo-” you cut him off by pressing a finger to his soft, plush, lips. You didn’t want to hear him say it. You couldn’t hear him say it. The both of you had moved on and it had to stay that way.

“Don’t say that. You can’t say that anymore.” You mumbled chugging your red solo cup but kept the water nearby for later, “We're not together anymore, Joonie, sorry.”

“But we can be… The girl I came here with… She-” She came over and started hanging on Namjoon like you would have. Giggling like a school girl as she seemed either drunk or pretending to be just so Namjoon would take care of her just like he was doing with you.

“Joonie, baby, can you get me another drink? I’m parched.” She said as if you didn’t even catch a name or recognize her to see if she went to the same school as you and Namjoon. She clearly had to be out of town or she would have at least said hi to you or the others. Your eyes searching the crowd as you saw Hoseok with Jimin dancing the night away. Kimmy shoving her tongue down Jungkook’s throat as Rae was dancing by herself in the middle of the dance floor. Everyone looked extremely happy, yet here you were standing with Namjoon and his girlfriend, if that’s what you wanted to call her. You couldn’t tell if they were dating because of how Namjoon was acting. He must have just brought her along to make you jealous. Were you jealous? You didn’t know.

“Not right now, Steph, I’m clearly talking to someone…” Namjoon said as he shrugged her off, but continued to stare at you hoping to get you to speak and tell him why you were acting like a spoiled brat all of a sudden.

“But baby, we're spending our one month together, come on.” the girl said as you winced hearing that. Namjoon had clearly moved on and was now dating the girl who was in front of you, Steph? Was it short for Stephane?

“Well, I gotta get going anyway. I promised a friend I would come see them after I was done here. Bye Namjoon, see you never.” and you started walking away from him and his girlfriend. Tears burning your cheeks as you had to get away. You didn’t realize that as you were walking tears were dripping down your face as seeing him and her together hurt. It was like when you and him were together and he would take care of you, but now that you guys weren’t he was still somewhat taking care of you.

“Y/n! Wait up!” You heard Taehyung shout as he looked a bit heartbroken too. His eyes were a bit red as he must have been crying, crying in a corner where no one could see him, “W-where are you going? Do you need a ride?”

“Yeah, I wanna go home, think you can take me there?” You asked as you started to wobble in your walk. You felt the room get dizzy as your body slouched against Taehyung’s and could smell the sweet cologne he was wearing. It reminded you of the woods outside your parents house. Earthy almost like a comfort at this point.

“Whoa, how much have you been drinking? Are you sure you can even walk home at this point?” Taehyung asked as he brown moppy curls covered his eyes.

“Maybe, but if I lean into you that should help… thanks…” you said as he nodded his head. He looked at you from the side and frowned.

“Who made you cry?” 

“Namjoon…” you mumbled as you didn’t have to say more.

“I saw he brought a girl over. Was she pretty?” Taehyung asked as you were tired of everyone asking or telling you she was pretty. You were the pretty eye candy Namjoon used to have around him. You were the girl Namjoon used to show off and now this Steph girl was. She looked pretty from afar but seeing her up close she was butt ugly, but that was only because your inner demons told you to say that so in reality she was not. She was actually quite beautiful.

“I would say so.. Yet he was the one that stopped me and my dance partner on the dance floor… I was having such a great time too. Wonder if he’s still here.” You questioned as Taehyung pulled you back from where you started to head too and sighed.

“You can’t be doing that, Y/n, men here are pigs… they just want you for one thing and one thing only… I’m surprised Hoseok and Jimin left you alone. God, what a bunch of assholes.” Taehyung said as you laughed. 

“But you're here, so does that mean something?” you looked at him with puppy dog eyes as you couldn’t help but admire him and see how beautiful he truly was. Kimmy was missing out. Hell at this point you would ask him out if you weren’t drunk off your ass and in an argument with your ex. Taehyung was a very handsome man and was in most of the same classes you were. So, seeing him wouldn’t be an issue.

“It does. It means I get to take you home and put you to bed. God, I don’t know what goes on in that brain of yours y/n but whatever you're thinking it's bad news.” Taehyung said as you pouted. 

“I just wanted to give you a kiss, that's all. Can I kiss you?” You asked him as Taehyung’s cheeks glowed a crimson pink.

“No, now stop it. You're not sober and I would hate to see what Namjoon would do to me if he knew we kissed. Now, come on, let's get you home so we can sober you up and get you to bed. I don’t feel like losing you over something stupid.” Taehyung said as you sighed.

“Why does it matter if he finds out? He’s clearly taken and I’m not. He’s happy and I’m not. Why does it fucking matter if he finds out what I do? Hm?” Anger started to bubble in you as you paused in your walk and leaned forward to puke. Orange color liquid came out of your mouth as you clearly were throwing up whatever red solo drink you had and after that the world went black. Your memory fading as after puking your guts out you didn’t remember a thing all that you could remember was Taehyung calling for Namjoon and Namjoon telling you he was on his way. After that it was darkness and a whole lot of it.

When you awoke the next morning, you sighed seeing the sun pour through the curtains and the sounds of birds chirping as you didn’t know the time, but knew that you were home and safe. The smell of your blanket was musky  as you didn’t recognize it at first but the bed you were sleeping in wasn’t yours and it sure as hell wasn’t Kimmy’s. The sound of the door slowly opening and the smell of food wafting in caused your stomach to growl and a familiar voice to chuckle as they spoke.

“Morning.” Namjoon said as you and him shared stares, “How are you feeling?” 

“Like a bus full of screaming kids hit me… what are you doing here? Why am I here?” You asked as you thanked him for the medication for your pounding headache and the water before he handed you some food to hopefully settle down your growling stomach and for you to keep busy so he couldn’t see how nervous you were.

“You passed out while walking home. Taehyung came shouting saying you passed out and wasn’t responding. Most of the people at the pool house was plastered or didn’t give a fuck and since I was the only one who hadn’t been drinking decided to come and save your ass. You're welcome.” Namjoon said as you blushed looking away hoping he wouldn’t notice.

“But why your place? You could have taken me anywhere. Why here and what about Steph? I bet she was thrilled knowing you were bringing home one of your exes to… I don’t ‘have your way with’.” 

Namjoon rolled his eyes, “Steph was just a friend pretending to be my girlfriend as she’s not really into guys. She kinda supports the other team so she was never getting any action from me at least, Rae on the other hand… may have gotten lucky if she hadn’t stopped us and gave us a ride home in her car since Taehyung’s car was a bit small for all five of us. Six if you count Yoongi since he decided to show up as well. Guess Jimin drunk texted him to come to the pool bash, I don’t know, their relationship is kinda weird.”

“So you're single… Like single like a pringle?” You asked, looking up at him as he sat down beside you with a small nod, “But why? You could have had anyone over the year. Why didn’t find someone else? Why didn’t you move on? Why didn’t-” You were cut off by Namjoon’s laugh, “Why are you laughing?” 

“Because do you hear yourself? Honestly y/n do you think I could move on that fast? Yeah  a year might seem long to some people but we dated for almost four years. That’s kinda hard to forget. What about you? Did you move on? Do you have someone?”

You shook your head, “But why does it matter now? You changed to get away from me? Why does it matter if I’m single or not?” 

Namjoon laughed again, “Because dummy… I’m still in love with you.. I thought showing up to the bash with Steph would help, would help keep my mind busy, but when I saw that buffoon get all handsy on you and how much you were already drinking. I couldn’t…”

“Couldn’t what, Joonie?” you asked as you moved the food tray to the side and moved forward so that you and him were a bit closer to one another. His eyes shined so brightly the closer you got to him and hearing his breath hitch the way that it did you couldn’t help but blush knowing his body still reacted to the way it usually did all those times you and him fooled around.

“I couldn’t just stand there watching some other man manhandle you like that. Only I was allowed to do things like that. Only I was allowed to touch you like that… god if you could have seen the face I gave when he touched you… I swear I would have beaten his head in if we were alone.. You mean too much to me, y/n… even if we aren’t dating.. You're my world.. And I want it to stay that way…” 

“Then kiss me.”

Namjoon gave you a confused look.

“Kiss me and tell me everything is going to be okay. Kiss me and be my man again. Kiss me Namjoon. Fucking kis-” He did. He pushed you back against the bed, laying you down and kissed you hard. His hands slowly trailing up your body as he found his way under your shirt and massaged your breasts. You let out a yelp as he took it as an opportunity and snaked his tongue deep within yours. Your body molding to his as you couldn’t believe this was happening. You and Namjoon were making out in his bed and it was all because he admitted that he could never stop thinking about you. 

“Hey, I’m sorry for barging in…” Steph said as she gasped and turned around quickly. She didn’t realize that you were still here and that Namjoon was practically on top of you at this point, “Jesus! Warn a girl next time Joon, I could have gone blind seeing your dick whipped out or some shit. How is she?” 

“She’s fine and our clothes are still on, what do you want Steph? I thought you went home with Rae?” Namjoon said as he got off of you but pulled you close to his side so he could hold you. Your heart racing as this was not what you were expecting.

“I did and is going back over, but since I stayed the night here beforehand I came to grab my things. So…” Steph said as you blushed, hiding your face deep within Namjoon’s neck feeling embarrassed that you got caught but happy it was by the girl who was pretending to be somebody she wasn’t.

“Ah, well, She’s fine. No need to worry. I got everything under control from here on out. No need to come back. Thank you Steph…” Namjoon said as you could see his face turn a bright pink.

“Glad to hear that. Wouldn’t want things to get too crazy.” Steph said as she poked her head back in, “Just make sure you wrap it if you guys get that far. I’m sure my little interruption ruined the moment but if I didn’t… wrap it!” 

Namjoon threw a pillow at her, “Get out of here before Rae starts to question your sexuality.” 

Steph chuckled as she waved goodbye. Namjoon looking down at you as he smiled, “Now where were we… ah, that’s right I was about to kiss you.. Shall we continue?” 

You smiled, “Maybe, but I need to know… are we officially back together or is this going to be a one and done thing. I don’t want to get heart broken again Joon, even though I was the one that said the last goodbye.”

“Do you want to get back together? I mean I would love to have you as mine again… but only if you're ready.. I don’t want to put pressure on you…” Namjoon said as he kept staring at your lips.

You blushed thinking about it and decided if he wanted to try again and was serious about it this time, maybe so were you. You did say the final goodbye but being able to have him back made this whole thing so much better.

“Yeah, I would like to try again. This time I promise I won't let my rage get to me… This time I promise to talk things out…”

“Do you? Do you promise?” Namjoon asked, kissing your temple, cheek, chin, and finally your lips.

“I promise.” you said as you kissed him back.

“Good, now where were we… ah yes those lips, let me kiss them.”

#bts #bts x reader #bts x f!reader #bts x fem!reader #bts x y/n #bts x you #bts namjoon #bts kim namjoon #bts kim namjoon x reader #bts kim namjoon x f!reader #bts kim namjoon x y/n #bts kim namjoon x you #kim namjoon #kim namjoon x reader #kim namjoon x f!reader #kim namjoon x you #kim namjoon x y/n #bts kim namjoon x fem!reader #kim namjoon x fem!reader

[mad-hunts]

oh. well, i suppose it's headcanon time once more, because i have way too many ideas regarding barton haha — so this may be a bit of a shorter one, but i believe it's equally as important as the one's i've posted thus far, because it really says something about how barton interacts with the world and how his brain works. but let me just start by saying that although barton does appear to have a relatively healthy relationship with food... he does occasionally hoard it, like, subconsciously as a result of the part of his childhood that he spent with wesley ( his biological father ). and this is because he was very much suffering from food insecurity while he was with his bio father. this is because wesley had lost his job as a forester whenever barton was around the age of five due to him missing too many days of work, not only because of how much his bloodthirst was taking over his life, but barton's life as well. he was forcing barton to go along with him on the super twisted ' hunting trips ' that i have talked about before that he unfortunately had to learn to endure with him ( which of course, in actuality, he never should've been forced to do ) about three times a week at one point and so that didn't really leave much time for wesley to attend work as much as he should've been.

and from there, wesley struggled a lot with finding a new job + providing for barton and him, so whenever he had access to food, barton would hoard it underneath his bed or in someplace where he knew that he knew he'd be able to find it because he wasn't sure when he'd be able to eat again. which is... very sad to think about, to say the least. thus, i think in more ways than one, meeting winslow at eight years old was probably the best thing for barton. winslow not only had a stable job, after all, but was a significant improvement in regards to how good of a father figure he was to him. i feel as if he never quite got over this insecurity, however, and that's why he sometimes still does it even till this day; especially since, although barton is NOT a good father overall, there is one thing that he's done right in regard to them and that is making sure that they were always put first in regards to getting to eat something. so hoarding food for him is also kind of a ' safety measure ' in a way as well because he has always been of the mindset that him being hungry is less important than them being hungry because of what wesley put him through as a child.

but yeah, that's just another one of my two-cents about barton's situation and how his mind as a whole works. he will quite literally sacrifice something like that for his children one second, though the next, he is liable to do something that makes it seem like he doesn't care about them at all... which admittedly makes him kind of confusing BUT i think there is reasoning behind this and one of those being that he can definitely feel cognitive empathy towards people, but actually putting himself in their shoes? it's much more difficult for him and sometimes nearly impossible because of how skewed his mind is. i shall expand more upon that another time, however, and what the term actually entails. i hope this didn't bum y'all out too bad but i promise you that i'll try to post more ( semi?? yeah, perhaps that ) fluffy things in the future.

#YOUR NEED GREW TEETH: character study. #ANGERS HELPED ME STAY ALIVE: headcanons. #tw: mentions of food insecurity. #tw: allusions to murder. #ahh.. yeah so whenever i say that barton hoards food i mean that he literally has a crapload of things like crackers / sweets / energy- #bars and etc. underneath his bed so like if you see anything like that. no you didn't xxx / hj #nah but it is kind of a sensitive subject for him so it really might not be the best thing to bring up around him if you see it... #so you may just want to pretend like you didn't.

[yallwildinrn]

Snake in the Grass: Chapter 1

For @ckhalloween23's catch-all prompt: An Empty Grave

This is a horror fic I've been working on since May or June. Given my current pace, it probably won't be out until the latter half of next year, butttt since I have this first chapter done (and I wanted it to be done in time for Halloween of this year), I figured I'd go ahead and post this as a preview and a treat! Well, treat for you guys and me haha.

Content warning for alcohol, bars, and general spookiness.

Pool balls whizz & clack against one another, but the sound is mostly drowned out. The bar, while not packed, is bustling with life, as is typical for a Friday evening; the sounds of yelling, laughter, and glasses clinking fill the already cramped space. It’s the victory cry of men who have been itching for the work week to finally, finally, end.

Dim, warm lights mask dirty floors and mysterious stains of unknown origin that seem to infect any and every upholstered seat. The single TV crammed into the back corner behind the bar top has caught the attention of several men, all shouting and celebrating – or complaining – at every pitch of the game with gnashing teeth. The bartender scrambles to sling out drink after drink of who-knows-what for the night’s customers.

Johnny himself is seated at a round, wooden table shoved near the back of the room. It’s almost uncomfortably close to the billiards tables, and each shrill hit against the pool balls becomes harder to ignore as the night wears on. He’s got some good distraction, though.

He lounges in his chair with a Coors in hand, surrounded by his friends. Bobby sits at his right, sipping his bourbon, while counterclockwise from there are Jimmy, Dutch, and Tommy. It’s tight, mostly because they had to steal a seat for Jimmy, but Johnny doesn’t mind. Not a damn bit.

He takes a long, slow sip from his drink. He still can’t believe they graduated from West Valley six whole years ago, and yet here they are, still thick as thieves. It’s not the same as it was back in high school (images of late-night, high-speed rides on their Hondas and getting plastered on the beach come to mind), but given how damn busy they all are, it’s an impressive amount of effort to keep traditions & meet-ups alive – like these monthly get-togethers at the bar, for example.

Johnny half-listens to a light-hearted argument between Tommy & Jimmy about baseball players he doesn’t give a shit about. Dutch, caught in the middle, has decided to antagonize the two of them by playing devil’s advocate for both sides. Things are getting heated, but it’s nothing Johnny finds worth worrying about. A nudge to Johnny’s arm snatches his attention away, and he turns to see Bobby with an expectant gaze and a soft, tipsy smile on his lips. Johnny reciprocates the smile without even thinking; he can thank the fact that he’s at least a few drinks in for that.

Bobby’s eyes sparkle as he leans towards Johnny. His cheeks are flushed, and his breath is rich and yeasty, laced with just a hint of sweetness. He smirks at Johnny and says, “I’ve been meaning to ask. How’s your back doing, old man?”

Anddd there it is. Johnny rolls his eyes good-naturedly as he answers, “Well, I’m no longer bed-ridden, so there’s that. I think I’ll be good to go back in a week or two once Dr. Gates gives me the green-light. I’m not supposed to see her for another two weeks, but if I feel better before then, I’m gonna see if she can squeeze me in, see if I can get back to work sooner.”

Bobby raises his brows in a look of mock shock, but it’s accompanied by a wry smile. “Did I just hear Johnny Lawrence say he’s trying to get back to work sooner? Thought you had worker’s comp to fall back on?”

“I do,” Johnny explains, snatching the neck of his Coors. The glass is smothered with wet drops of condensation that leave watery rings on the tabletop. “Just turns out that worker’s comp isn’t nearly as good as a roofing job. Pays the bills, but man.”

Johnny shakes his head and takes a swig of his beer. The icy cold liquid feels like a blessing, and he sighs as the bottle leaves his lips.

Bobby shrugs a little awkwardly. He tries to reassure Johnny as best he can by reminding him, “Hey, at least you’re getting comp this time.”

Johnny frowns harshly and shuts his eyes for a moment like he’s trying to will away a headache. He sets his beer down with a soft thunk, and the moisture clinging to the glass is already dripping back onto the table. He glares at a nearby wall and mutters, “Don’t remind me.”

“I’m just saying,” Bobby starts with a warm smile, swishing the alcohol in his glass with one hand. “Not working under the table has its perks.”

Another round of loud cheers fills the room. Sounds like someone finally hit the damn ball. “Yeah, but the government also takes half my damn paycheck. Jimmy still hasn’t helped me figure out how to deduct all my taxes yet,” Johnny says, loudly pulling Jimmy into the conversation.

Jimmy turns away from his own conversation with Tommy & Dutch. He leans onto an elbow and smiles at Johnny, but it’s certainly not genuine; if anything, there’s a bite to it. He answers, “Just because I’m an accountant doesn’t mean I can magically fix your taxes, Johnny. Become a business, then we can talk.”

Johnny flips him off, earning a round of chuckles around the table as Jimmy rolls his eyes and relaxes back into his seat. Dutch points at Jimmy with his beer bottle and asks the accountant, “Speaking of, have you finally been let out of your cage? First time we’ve seen you in, what? Months?”

Jimmy sighs, and Johnny realizes that the polo Jimmy’s wearing is probably the most casual thing he’s worn out and about in a while. “Tax season is finally over. Thank god for that,” Jimmy trails off, and he takes a long swig from his glass.

Tommy eyes his friends and pipes up, “Too late for another round of shots?”

Another round sounds fucking amazing. Johnny instead answers, “I’d love to, but my wallet says no.”

Bobby chimes in, “My liver also says no. That first round was enough for me.”

Dutch’s face crinkles into disappointment as he boos Bobby from across the table. His chair tips back an almost dangerous amount while he does. He shakes his head and laments, “Ya think you know a guy, but then he goes to priest school and becomes a damn prude.”

Bobby glares at him as his grip tightens on his glass. “It’s called seminary, and I’m becoming a pastor, not a priest.”

Tommy snickers & nudges Dutch, giving him a mischievous look. He points out, “Didn’t say he wasn’t a prude.”

Johnny snorts, earning himself a Bobby-patented glare, which then sends him into a laughing fit. Sometimes it can genuinely be scary to be on the receiving end of that gaze, but most of the time (especially after all these years,) it’s become damn hilarious. There’s another vicious clack of the pool balls; the start of a new game.

“I hate all of you,” Bobby huffs. He crosses his arms and leans back into his chair, dragging his gaze across the figures of his (almost) drunk friends, who are still much more sober than half of the room. “Why do I even hang out with you assholes? What did I do to deserve this?”

Jimmy sips on his glass and looks at Bobby. His lips curl into a wry smile. “Be a prude?”

Johnny thinks he can see a vein bulge in Bobby’s forehead, and he has to stifle another snort. Bobby’s lips pull into a tight, frustrated line across his face. He finishes the last of his bourbon with a small gulp and slaps his palm onto the table so he can push himself out of his chair. “I fucking hate you. All of you. I’m getting another drink.”

He pushes his chair back in with his foot and starts to weave through the maze of people & tables, and Tommy smiles like a Cheshire cat and calls out, “Can you-?”

“No,” Bobby yells back as he crosses the bustling room. Tommy cackles in his seat, and Dutch follows suit, clapping a hand on Tommy’s shoulder and howling beside him. Johnny simply shakes his head and leans onto the table, resting on his forearms.

The wood sticks to his skin. He can only imagine how much dust is trapped under layers of sticky god-knows-what. Probably more than he realizes. It’s kind of gross to think about, but it doesn’t really faze him, especially when everything about this bar fits that bill. Not much about this place is great: the bartender’s a dick, the bowls of pretzels are stale as shit and few & far between, it’s impossible to find a seat without a weird stain on it, and there’s never more than two beers on tap.

That doesn’t mean it’s all bad, though. Johnny never has to worry about them running out of Coors. It’s a pretty good distance between all their places. The prices aren’t half bad, and hell, it doesn’t even come close to gracing their top ten list of “Shittiest Bars This Side of California!” So yeah, really not all bad, at least if you ask him.

Tommy’s hyena-like cackle grabs Johnny’s attention and pulls him back into whatever conversations he’s missed. “No, no,” Tommy starts, smiling wide. “I’m just- can you believe any of us actually graduated?”

Jimmy levies Tommy with a self-satisfied smile. “No, I actually can’t believe any of you guys graduated,” he teases. Tommy rolls his eyes.

Dutch scowls. “Yes, yes, we know. You made an A once and got into a big boy college, keep it in your pants,” He replies gruffly, finishing his statement with a swig.

“That’s not what I meant,” Tommy elaborates dryly while gesturing with his drink. “You’re not wrong, but think about it. Our senior year was such a shitshow.”

Dutch smirks and looks Johnny’s way. “I blame Romeo over here. Had no idea a breakup would lead to all that bullshit with LaRusso.”

Johnny stifles at the comment, and his cheeks flush – now red from more than just the alcohol – as he glares at Dutch. He’s about to bark out a comeback, but Bobby cuts him off when he comes sauntering back, freshly filled glass in hand, and retorts, “Oh please, we’re all to blame. We escalated it when we should’ve just left things alone.”

Bobby slides into his chair a little ungracefully, wood scraping against the floor, while Dutch shifts uncomfortably in his seat. He nods his head down a little sheepishly because… yeah. Bobby’s right, as much Johnny hates to admit it. Back at West Valley, they were all chomping at the bit to put the twerp in his place, but none of that needed to happen or even should have happened. They saw red, and LaRusso got caught in the crossfire. It was like they didn’t even see him. Just a conveniently placed punching bag.

The table’s air stills; the rest of the bar continues to thrum with activity while the atmosphere of their little corner slowly ices over. Johnny purses his lips and sips at his beer. Guilt gnaws his ribcage. Even after all these years, after the apologies and many, many steps to make things right, he’s still stuck with bitter memories that choke him up. He opts to study the many dings & scratches on the table rather than meet any of his friends’ eyes.

Jimmy’s the first to break the tense silence. “You know, if we have anyone to blame, it’s Kreese,” he spits out. It hits Johnny like a jab to the chest. He’s taken aback as Jimmy says this, but the man continues, “He put so much bullshit in our heads! All that punch first, think second nonsense. Like, come on-”

“Wait, wait,” Johnny interrupts while waving his hand to stop Jimmy in his tracks. How can he just say that? “Look, he was a total douchebag – I should fucking know – but we’re the ones who took what he said too far. We were still the ones who fucked with LaRusso. He didn’t tell us to do any of that shit.”

Tommy shifts beside him and stumbles over his words. “Yeah, like- but- Look, okay, you’re right, it’s totally on us for taking shit way too far, but Johnny,” Tommy says, and he turns to Johnny with pleading eyes. “He literally taught us to have no mercy. Literally. That’s not an exaggeration.”

Johnny frowns. “Yeah, but we took it out of context. He obviously meant to not take no for an answer, to- to keep pushing on despite the circumstances,” he explains. Are they seriously saying this shit? Even after all these years? After everything Kreese did for them? For fuck’s sake…

Dutch is next to speak. He throws Johnny an odd look as he adds, “Did we go to the same Cobra Kai? Because the one I went to taught us to do fucking everything to the extreme. Including the no mercy shit. Hell, he even had us do karate to the extreme. All those extra goddamn practices…”

“Yeah, and they were good for us. We needed some discipline!” Johnny snaps back defensively. His blood is starting to boil with every bullshit argument that his friends make.

He starts to bounce his leg. The sounds of laughter pouring out from a nearby table makes him want to snarl. He doesn’t get it, how can his friends just- just pass the blame onto Kreese? The guy at least tried to help them and make them into better people (before his sensei lost his mind, that is.)

Johnny turns to Bobby, who’s worrying his lip and squirming like he’s sitting on an anthill. “Come on,” Johnny says. “Back me up here.”

Bobby looks away from Johnny, jaw tense, but he turns back. He lets out a breath, look Johnny square on with a worrying level of sincerity, and says, “Johnny. Kreese worked us so hard once that you forget it was Ali’s birthday. She broke up with you over that.”

Johnny’s skin buzzes. He’s all too aware of the overpowering noise of the room. Hell, he feels like he can feel the next table over breathing on him. His stomach rolls. “That is not what happened,” Johnny insists with a hard stare. “Practice that day was not that bad. I remember it. It was fine.”

Tommy scoffs, “Then why were you so quick to go out drinking with us?”

Johnny’s more tense than a stretched-out rubber band, and he feels like he’s going to snap like one, too. He scowls and answers, “I forgot because…”

Johnny blinks and turns his gaze down. Sweat collects at the back of his neck while his chest tightens.

“No, I-I forgot because…”

His mouth is a cotton ball. He’s reaching into his mind, searching for the memory, but he just… it’s not right. It’s there, but somehow, it also isn’t. He remembers being brought in for an extra practice with his cobras, Twig being brought in to watch & help, the end of practice, getting ready to leave, and then…

His temples throb as tries harder to remember, but he can’t. There’s a gap, a void where something should be. It’s not like he’s just forgotten the details, god no. He’s actively reaching into his mind, searching and grasping for what should be there, sandwiched between the sparring and the night at the bar, but he just… He can’t. He can’t get there. Every time he thinks he’s brushing against what might be the memory in question, a pulsing throb shakes his skull, and it rattles his train of thought loose.

His eyes dart between his friends. His heart pounds furiously against his vice of a ribcage, and he wipes his sweaty palms against the thighs of his pants. Their faces are a varied array of distress and confusion. Why do they look like that? Are they trying – and failing – to remember, just like him? Shit, why can’t he remember?

A chill threatens to run down his spine. Could he ever remember?

When he was fresh off the breakup with Ali, he would spend hours torturing himself with all the ways he screwed things up; it was his way of trying to nail down exactly what he did wrong. Except… he always left that practice turned night-on-the-town alone. He never touched it, to his knowledge. Is- Is this why? Every time he tried to play the events over in his mind, would he get to this downright anomaly of a gap in his memory, and did it make him feel- well, make him feel like he does now? Sick and shaken?

Is that why he never, never thinks about the inciting incident that led Ali to yell at him and tell him things were done? Did the avoidance become muscle memory at some point so he would never try to recall that night & the memories associated with it?

He knows the answer. He doesn’t like it.

It doesn’t even feel natural. It’s not like he just forgot; no, it’s more like something was ripped out unceremoniously or maybe strangled and hidden in an unreachable corner of his mind. Does it matter what type of wrong it is? He wipes the sweat from his brow; the heat from the crowd of the bar tonight has finally caught up to him, it seems.

His mind circles back. Why can’t he remember? Why is there a gap? How long has it been there? Has- has it always been there? And not just any gap. No, a gap that, when he tries to recall upon what should be there, snaps up & bites him like a cornered animal. His head is throbbing. He fumbles for his beer and takes a long drink.

He looks again to his friends. He can only imagine the expression on his own face given theirs. He takes a chance and says, “Please tell me I-I’m not the only one who…”

Bobby slowly shakes his head, eyebrows knit, but he doesn’t meet Johnny’s gaze. Jimmy and Dutch don’t move; they simply squirm and keep their eyes down. Tommy’s chest is heaving as he sits up straight and looks ahead with a mix of fear and uncertainty. Johnny knows they must be in the same boat as him. They have to be.

Tommy answers with a shaky voice, “Who what?” Johnny almost drops his mouth wide open. Tommy’s asking that even though the man isn’t meeting anyone’s eyes and looks like he wants to run out of the room?

“Who what? What do you mean who what?” Johnny asks incredulously. “Who- who can’t fucking remember what happened that night!”

Tommy’s smiling, but it’s strained. He answers, voice as tight as his lips, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Johnny grips his Coors so hard he thinks it’s going to shatter in his hands. “What do you mean what I’m-? You know exactly what I mean. Look at us! Look at yourself! Something’s not right.”

“Johnny,” Bobby pleads. At some point he rested his forehead in his hands, elbows on the table. “You’re- you’re not wrong, but Christ-”

Johnny turns to face Bobby with an eager gaze. He cuts him off, saying, “You can’t remember, either. It’s not just me. Something’s wrong.”

Bobby sighs through his nose. He’s getting frustrated; it’s a tell Johnny knows well. “No, Johnny,” Bobby says shortly. “I can’t remember. But I don’t want to. God, I just… I think I can speak for all of us when I say let’s just drop it. Please. I don’t want to think about-”

Bobby’s practically pleading, but Johnny doesn’t care. What’s more fucking important: a little bit of discomfort or the fact none of them remember the same exact damn thing?

Johnny cuts him off again and snarls, “About the fact there’s a fucking gap in our memories? The same gap for all of us, I’m willing to bet? One we’ve probably had since that night?”

Bobby shuts his eyes, and Johnny’s not sure if the man is going to cry or punch him, but given their shared history at Cobra Kai, it’s probably the latter. Dutch speaks up next, snapping, “Johnny! Just drop it! Yes, our memories are fucked, big whoop. I don’t care! I don’t want to think about it either! I don’t know about you, but I don’t like trying to remember and feeling my skin try to crawl off my body.”

Johnny drums his fingers against his bottle. He can’t fight the scowl on his lips. “Seriously? You’re just going to ignore this? Just like that?”

Dutch laughs bitterly. “Seems like we’ve been doing that for years, man,” he says with a shake of the head, but he pauses and looks Johnny straight on. “You know what? Hold on, let me ask you something. Let’s say we do talk about this shit. Have a little pow-wow and Agatha Christie our way through this bullshit. What the hell would we even do? Seriously, how in the fuck would you even recommend we- we try to fix this? Please, share with the class!”

Johnny opens his mouth to answer but shuts it tight in that same instant. His cheeks flush again. He genuinely has no idea where to start, actually. He does know that if they work together, they might have a shot, but Dutch writing him off with that cruel smile makes Johnny want to scream.

“Exactly,” Dutch says like the self-assured bastard he is, gesturing at Johnny with his drink in hand. “We can’t do shit, and since we’ve gone this long without thinking about it, why stop now? Sounds like none of us want to think about it, for christ’s sake.”

Johnny’s throat is tight. He can hardly believe what Dutch is saying. What Tommy and Bobby have been fucking saying. His blood pulses under his skin, and he turns to Jimmy, almost begging, “Jimmy. Come on, back me up. We can’t just pretend this never happened.”

Jimmy doesn’t look him in the eye, and it’s enough to make Johnny’s heart sink. The brunette swallows, lips turned downward ever so slightly, and he hesitantly answers, “Look, I-I’m sorry Johnny. I can’t. Why don’t we just… let sleeping dogs lie? All remembering does is hurt, and we can’t do anything about it, so why can’t we just…”

Johnny screws his eyes shut tight and flexes a hand in and out of a fist a few times. He brings his Coors to his lips, takes a healthy gulp, and slams the bottle back onto the table with enough force to make his friends jump a little. He glares at them all. He can hardly believe all the bullshit he’s heard tonight.

“Why can’t I just what? Drop it? Why aren’t you pussies willing to do anything about this?! It’s not right! Something is fucking wrong, and you just want to act like nothing happened!” Johnny says. His voice is starting to raise, and he’s getting the attention of a few nearby patrons, but quite frankly, he doesn’t give a shit. Fuck ‘em. “What is wrong with you guys? Who gives a fuck if it hurts to think about it! Something is wrong, and it sure as hell wasn’t just forgotten. It’s gone. Or- or it’s there and we just can’t reach it but- Who cares! It’s still weird as shit, and you’re all just pretending like nothing fucking happened like a bunch of pussies!”

Bobby attempts to soothe him by saying, “Johnny, please, I don’t think this is as bad as you’re saying.”

Johnny feels his muscles tense, and he swears to god, he might break a tooth from how hard his jaw is clenched. He gets tunnel vision for a moment, only able to focus on the traitorous words that just came out of Bobby’s mouth, and when his vision clears, everything is suddenly too much again – screeching pool balls, wails & shouts from the crowd around them, the way his body is vibrating under his skin. He has to fight against the urge to throw & shatter his beer bottle on the ground (likely only because he’s not done quite with it yet).

He can’t believe that Bobby of all people would say that to him. Talk down to him like that. That simple sentence rubs him raw like coarse sandpaper dragged his skin. It conjures up painful memories of his mom brushing aside his pleas for help and, on occasion, Kreese asking him through a sneer if he’s a loser. And worst of all, Bobby knows this, better than anyone else. He’s been the one to listen to Johnny rant and rage about being brushed off and ignored. He knows how that phrase sets Johnny’s blood alight.

Johnny chugs the rest of his beer in one fell swoop and steps out of his chair so fast & hard it tumbles. He doesn’t even bother picking it up. He bites out, “Fuck this. I’m going home. I don’t give a fuck what you do. Pretend for all I care! Don’t come crying to me when this shit blows up in all of our faces.”

Johnny ignores Bobby’s protests as he begins to chase after the taller man, trying to get Johnny to talk to him or whatever. Johnny can’t talk to him, won’t. He can’t even look at him right now. He grits his teeth as he weaves between people, and the longer Bobby follows, the more certain Johnny becomes that he really might start swinging.

Johnny has to shoulder his way into an open spot and wait for the bartender to slide by, but flashing some cash is all it takes to grab his attention. He feels like his skin is going to vibrate right off his body, and he snaps at some asshole sitting beside him who tells him to watch it.

Bobby catches up to Johnny as he’s trying to pay the bartender, worthless platitudes tumbling out of his mouth, and Johnny hisses through clenched teeth, “If you don’t lay off, I’m gonna knock your teeth out, I swear to god.”

It works as intended. Bobby steps back, startled and wide-eyed. Johnny knows he looks a little wild right now, but he just does not care. He feels like he’s one wrong word or move away from snapping, from saying & doing shit he’s going to regret. He just wants to get out of this fucking bar and away from his shithead friends.

Johnny breathes a small sigh of relief when Bobby accepts defeat and slinks back to the table stuffed in the back of the room. He always was the smartest of the five of them. He knew when it was time to leave things be before it blew up in their faces. Johnny thinks of Daniel, and he feels a little sick, but it’s replaced with another wave of hot, tepid anger again, the same kind that haunted him all through high school.

With his tab paid, Johnny shoves his way out of the bar, other patrons throwing protests, swears, & a few obscene gestures at him, but Johnny makes himself ignore it and pushes on. If he starts to pay attention and care right now, even a little, he’s probably gonna get the cops called on his ass, and he just- he can’t deal with that on top of everything else tonight.

He opens the bar door with a hard shove, and the chill night air washes over him. While the streets are neither silent nor empty, it’s still much better than the bar, and he feels his chest loosen enough that he can breathe again. He stomps over to his Avanti, and halfway through sticking his key into the door’s lock, he decides that he doesn’t have enough beer at home to deal with this night.

#the karate kid #cobra kai #johnny lawrence #og cobras #horror #writing #my writing #snake in the grass #forgot to mention #this is set in a few years after TKK #May 1990 to be exact #I’ve so much work into this it’s not even funny #put so much* #I’m really proud of this ngl #wish I could let y’all know when it’ll be finished and out but #I’m hoping everything will be completely done and ready to publish by next Halloween #I’d say sooner but I’m going so slow rn #maybe I’ll be able to get some real writing done on winter break

[attorneys-against-court-violence]

The Magical Turnabout: Cleared!

Whoo! I haven't had a shot of the old AA charm in a while, but something about Case 6-2 clicked for me in that front! I suppose I should go through the old bullet points then, shall I? Let's do this!

(Cutting this off here because GOOD GRIEF are there a lot of thinks about this case)

TRUCYYYYYYYY! I'm so sorry for what DD has done to you, but I really liked her and Apollo here! Who knew that giving your character a stake in the plot and room to breathe actually makes them an interesting person to watch and root for? The legacy of the Gramaryes weighing on her shoulders, her dedication to her magic, her wonderful bond with Apollo... it all shines through, giving me a lot more to grab on to emotionally than in the prior game. In Trucy We Trust!

APOLLO JUSTICE IS DOING FINE! He's got something of a legacy to hold up himself, being the only one alongside Athena to hold the fort while Wright's away. And they were under serious attack, too - losing out on the office and a dear friend & daughter of Wright is a hefty thing to deal with. And yes, he's as jaded and snarky as he ever has been.

Athena's here. That's pretty cool. I'm not going to complain much about her not getting too much here, since this isn't really her story. She's still a god-damn riot and keeps up a charming dynamic with Apollo, and her righteous indignation at Retinz's shenanigans is pretty cathartic.

Ema gets a nice look here too! Showing her in a much happier tune after achieving her dream job - a little reminiscent of her younger years - while still keeping the snide built up from AJ. I do like the conflict of interest her with Trucy on the line. Seems detectives can't go a trilogy without someone they actually like being put in the slammer, but it's a nice crumb.

Case 2-3 was pretty fun in how it faked a magic trick to hide the real murder, but a lot problems got in the way of fully appreciating it. This doesn't have nearly the same issues and manages to make use of the inherent mysteries and mechanics of the magic tricks performed to its advantage. Even the main villain had a grander illusion to unravel at the very end - that being the mystery of how the victim truly perished. It was fun following along & seeing the show behind-the-scenes!

Bonny & Betty are fine. Both are sympathetic enough being admirers tricked into being accomplices in muder. Betty in particular seems scorned to all get-out, having to pretend to be the other for so long. Bonny has to deal with self-esteem issues and a slightly controlling twin sister. I liked them!

Roger. Motherfucking. Retinz. The man's got intelligence up the wazoo but that's about the only admirable trait I can assign to him. This man is easily the most despisable AA villain I've seen in a long time - not counting ones that are hateable due to bad writing, Dual Destinies - who almost managed to get one last cut in on Trucy before he vanished for good. He doesn't make his grudge a secret and his actions - both in setting up his schemes and his general behaviour - make him one awful son of a bitch. A mistrusting, dishonest, egocentric magician who stands in stark contrast to Trucy. Pretty dang good for a one-off villain!

Now then... you're probably wondering what I think of Nahyuta Sahdmadhi. While I'm not going to make sweeping judgements until I see the whole story, I do have some thoughts. Just bare with me.

Khura'in is a country that hasn't seen a Not Guilty verdict in over 20 years. Nahyuta didn't oversee Phoenix's first trial there and the next has yet to come. They have a poor opinion of defense attorneys and a deeply religious reason to want justice for the victim in order to bring them peace. Nahyuta is an asshole. I will make no illusions to the contrary. He is the product of a country that has - at this point - not had any reason to believe the accused isn't the culprit. It's probably not a fair system at all; Manfred's perfect record didn't come about by playing fair, after all. But that's the environment Nahyuta practices and was likely raised in as well. He's got good reason to be an insufferable prat at this point and it's clear we haven't seen the full extent of his character. His cultrue may have largely informed this side of him, but I do enjoy him being in conflict with Ema over indicting someone she knows and cares about. Ones duty taking priority over ones emotions seems like a hint at something... tragic. This is a man who's probably had to push similar feelings down and is well practiced in that, to the point where he's completely shut-off from someone he used to know. We have seen, however, that he is very open to learning about different cultures when the need arises. He went so far as to wait an hour to sample something as simple to L.A. as a burger - enough to be able to recommend a particular flavour. He's researched television programs, social customs, and is even willing to admit that cultrual differences means he might not carry things out as expected. It's one of the more charming parts of his character and I really do enjoy it.

His connection to Apollo... I don't really know what to say at this point. It feels like he occupies an odd middle-ground between Edgeworth and Simon in their debuts. Edgeworth because he actually bothers to talk with Apollo in the lobby, Simon because he's so closed-off that nothing really comes of that. I get what they're doing here - telling us that the prosecutor is someone from the attorney's past and telling us they used to be different - though it's missing something from Phoenix's and Edgeworth's spat in Case 1-2 that gave that scene more to chew on.

Frankly, I think I'll have to check out the rest of SoJ just to figure out if I like the guy or not. Dual Destinies - for as many mistakes it made at the end - did manage to get me to give a hoot about Simon, so maybe SoJ can do something nice with this guy. I've heard the contrary enough times to be cautious but I can't let outside opinion and heresay sway me on these things. Not anymore, at any rate. As before, I want to be damn sure my feelings are my own.

But first! Case 6-4. I've heard many a divisive thing about it - from the wonderful cast to the unfortunate treatment of its leading lady. I'll let you know what side of the coin I land on when I get to the end there.

Until next time! In justice we trust!

#case 6 2 watchthrough #spirit of justice spoilers #ace attorney spoilers

[ashleysmessyjourney]

One Year Anniversary

I cannot believe it, and yet, here it is: I've spent one full year messing my diapers and I still have two full years to go before this challenge expires. I haven't touched a single potty other than my own for cleaning purposes for my guests and I have not once ever used a public bathroom other than to change myself.

Since I'm at my one year anniversary with two more years ahead of me, I would like to say I'm a third of the way there but I have a feeling that even if I neared the end of this challenge, more and more time would just get added on. That's just how it's always worked throughout this last year, and thanks to a select few of you, I have a feeling I'll never be stopping this fun challenge of mine.

In the beginning, I thought this challenge would be a month long tops, but little by little, more and more time was put on. Once I hit the six week mark, I saw that I had nearly two whole months to go. I was afraid. I was nervous. And you know what? That's okay. It's okay to feel these feelings; we're only human. None of us can be perfect. I remained strong because while I hadn't enjoyed messing myself in the past, I had made a commitment to this challenge and to all of you to not only mess my diapers regularly and exclusively, I also made a promise to document my journey. I'm documenting all of this not only because I find it rather kinky but also to share my knowledge and experiences in the hopes that it can help someone going through the same things I am. It's also a great way to explore my feelings, too!

Believe it or not, after a year, I find the act of messing enjoyable. It's something I look forward to in the mornings because it keeps me from spending a lot more time on the potty on my phone. All I have to do is squat down, make pushies in my bedwetting diaper, then wipe myself clean with some wipes. Sounds easy, right? That's because it is. Once you get into a new routine and stick to it for many weeks, that new routine becomes normal and your body gets used to pooping on a regular schedule.

It's hard to really pin down why messing has become fun for me and I know it sounds weird to say that messing is fun. However, one of the reasons why I enjoy it so much is because it introduced kink back into my diapers, something that I've been missing for a while. Wearing diapers for fun every now and then won't minimize your kink and attraction to diapers, but if you wear them long enough or if you need them, they start to lose that kinky attraction. I've been wearing them for need for many years now, so I was grateful and happy to find something that made diapers kinky and naughty again.

I found it hard to switch diets and start eating better food in the beginning, but you know what? I have a lot more energy, I sleep better, and I'm not wasting money buying food that's nothing but fat and empty calories. I started out small, introducing more fruit and vegetables into my diet in place of chips or another unhealthy snack. The more healthy food I ate, the easier it became to stay on the straight and narrow path of good food. I've done my best to only eat whole foods. If it came in a bag ready to eat, I wouldn't buy it. I learned how to cook a lot of amazing meals, mostly Mexican-inspired dishes. A lot of my recipes are easy to make, healthy, and it's a great way to bond with your friends, too! Who can say no to some awesome home-cooked Mexican food? My favorite is steak fajitas!

In order to keep my messes easy to clean, I have to drink more water than I usually would. This helps keep my poop more uniform and easy to clean. I've also been including a lot more fiber into my diet to make it easier to poop. Junk food and overeating always leads to mushy messes, messes that are extremely difficult to clean. I've learned a lot from doing this challenge and I'm still learning. I've adapted to a tough situation and I've come out stronger for it.

I became a better person because of this challenge and I'm still improving myself every day. I learned what foods I could and couldn't eat. Remember how I talked about getting stomach aches in public and barely making it back to my car before I had to make a mess in my diaper? (Those weren't fun drives home!) I've found that I've grown sensitive to certain foods, foods that I no longer eat. While I do miss those foods sometimes, I do not miss the sudden onset of needing to poop immediately.

Can you imagine how uncomfortable I felt when I knew my body was going to poop in minutes, especially since I can't stand using public restrooms? If I didn't find a bathroom within a few minutes, I would have to use my diaper against my will. Feeling that anxiety and stress sure didn't help me, either. However, since the whole point of this challenge is to use my diapers exclusively, there was never a point in trying to hold it to get home when it'll just end up in the seat of my diaper. It was only a matter of time until I could get somewhere safe and away from other people to let my body take care of its needs and for my diaper to take care of me. I always carry the necessary supplies with me in case of accidents like these in a bag that's always in the trunk of my car.

It's a strange feeling giving up control over something so intimate. To give in to the waiting embrace of your diaper for such a private act is surely a display of submission to my diapers. What can I say other than I love it?

It was hard to get over the idea that it was okay to use a fresh diaper to mess if you had to. Diapers are a few dollars at most, so if you can't help but feel that you have to make pushies in your fresh diaper, then that's what has to happen. I used to feel regret when I did this, but now it has become a calm acceptance of something that must happen. I always asked myself if I wanted to try to hold it and deal with the discomfort until I reach the point where I felt like my diaper was wet enough to make it okay to mess or was the cost of one diaper worth my immediate relief from the pressure building up inside?

Of course, when put in simple terms like that, the answer was always use your diaper. I wear them to keep me cozy, comfortable, and above all, safe. That's what they're made for. They're literally made to hold all kinds of body waste, regardless of what it is. They're designed to provide relief for when you just can't hold it anymore. I learned to give in and accept the inevitable mess, and looking at how much time I have left, I wonder how my level of control will be once a couple of years have passed. Currently, I'd say I'm at a 6.5 out of 10 for my level of control, though it varies based on what I eat, how much I eat, and other day to day variables.

About a week and a half ago, I had woken up feeling amazing. Don't know why. As I was stretching, I felt like I had to fart but when I pushed to help things along, I felt something else slide out between my butt cheeks. It was small, but I still had an actual accident while I was still in bed, barely awake. I gave in and pushed as hard as I could, thinking that since I'd just messed myself a little bit, I might as well finish it rather than waiting to get out of bed to finish the job.

It felt great to mess my diaper in bed. I didn't have to leave my bed's warm embrace and I was able to relieve the pressure in my tummy without a second thought. Making pushies into my diaper has become second nature at this point, but not in my bed. I was surprised at how easy it was to mess myself; maybe it was because I wasn't really paying attention to my body's signals because I was still kinda sorta half asleep? Could it have been a result of that night time messing hypnosis that I've been using? Maybe!

Will I be able to achieve my kinky dreams of waking up messy? Perhaps. I saw an interesting post the other day about someone taking Miralax and NyQuil in the hopes of waking up messy for their caretaker and they did, making me wonder if I can achieve the same thing. With all the time I've spent playing with my butt plugs and thicker toys combined with a full year of me messing my diapers as soon as I felt the need, surely I would find it easier than most to accomplish what that couple did. I feel a little apprehension though, mainly because I'm not familiar with how either drug affects my body.

I haven't been sick in years (knock on wood!) so taking a drug to help me sleep while also taking a drug that'll make me poop is something that makes me feel a little uneasy. I think I'd have to first experiment with each separately so I can get a sense of how they'll affect me before I'd combine the two and really give waking up messy a real shot. I've been using the night time messing hypnosis from Baby Pants on and off as my mood and desires swing in regards to waking up messy, but with this new idea in hand, I might just actually achieve my goals and make a lot of you happy and proud of me.

I cannot have done all of this and gone so far without your support, so I wanted to extend my deepest gratitude and thanks for your gifts and for your motivational comments. I truly love reading what you think of my journey and your words of support have been a significant factor in keeping me motivated. Even liking and reblogging my posts have been very helpful, too!

As I'm sure you know by now, this journey of mine is not without its costs. I've had to use many more diapers because of this challenge and it's hard to shoulder the costs, especially when you're diaper dependent as I am. Any kind of support would be immensely appreciated and I would be sincerely grateful. As the pinned post says, anything and everything adds time onto the timer. Once I receive stuff, that item's time gets added onto the timer on my Tumblr's pinned post and on my Twitter bio.

Wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/10MYHI152VZRT/

I also sell the biggest diaper training guide ever! It's over 34k words long and is 57 pages. It is the most up to date training guide around, complete with topics like bedwetting, messing, dating, how to adjust to living your best life back in diapers, and everything in between in order to help you become the person you know you really want to be.

Patreon helps fund this journey of mine, so a little support truly does go a long way. https://www.patreon.com/DiaperTraining

Lastly, I want to thank you, the reader, for taking the time to read this. I know it's long but I wanted to make sure that I did a great job on my one year anniversary. Hope you loved it!

[livelovesimallways]

"Prayed Up....." 🎵

(Previous)

(Previous following Dana's story)

Moses and I finally arrived home a couple of days ago after an amazing honeymoon. We spent nearly three months traveling, relaxing and enjoying the best parts of what make us...us. After taking some time for ourselves, letting our friends and family know we were back became top priority. While I reached out on my end, Moses was reluctant to do the same. He says he wants to, "protect his peace", which leads me to believe something serious is going on. Although I fully understand where he is coming from, avoiding things never helps. I just hope that, "protecting his peace", doesn't make a situation worse or leave people in the dark.

Later on that day.....

"So hold on...Let me get this straight...Sean was messing around with that Julia chick outside of Dana's rules? Deanna found out and told her?"

"Basically..."

"Damn...I wonder why she didn't tell me? It seemed like everything was going well. She even sent me their finished wedding plan." *sounding confused*

"Maybe it is for her. She probably feels like what's done is done. Shit, my moms used to get like that whenever my father got caught."

"Humph...I remember having those days myself. You're probably right. Now I feel terrible. Dana isn't the type to come crying about her problems either. She'll tell you, but won't get emotional about it. She keeps a lot bottled up."

"Yeah she's a good ass person too. She don't deserve that shit." *looks down then shakes his head*

"So was this why you were avoiding calls?"

"I mean it's part of it. Sean's been like my brother since high school, but him still doing dumb shit just ain't sittin right with me. I thought he was makin progress but, that ain't the case. I don't know if I want to be around all that. Too much potential to have me in some shit."

"In some shit like?...."

"Being put on the spot to cover, or getting questioned over something he did."

"But that only happened once right?" *narrows her eyes*

"You really want me to answer that? Shit, we both know not to ask questions we really don't want the answers to. You're gonna feel obligated to tell her and neither one of us is trying to stir up past things. She knows what kind of dude she has. Obviously we want better for her, but she's sticking beside him. There's no need to dig."

*sighs* "Fine...I'll leave it alone. What's done in the dark always comes to light anyway, so..." *her phone starts ringing, cutting her off* "Oh look, it's Nica, another person you've been avoiding. I'll put it on speaker."

A Few Days Later.......

"I'm just not understanding why you won't tell your sister you're pregnant? Like, I know it's not ideal, but you're in a good place. You're starting your career at that tech giant and you can stay here as long as you want. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. Trust me, I've seen worse. The train wreck that is my father is a great example, and he's a multi-millionaire. You have a village: your sister, me and my family. You just have to embrace it. "

"Look...Mimi I get you're trying to help, but please leave it alone. That's not why..." *get choked up*

"Then what is it? I'm here for you, seriously..."

*whispers* "Fuck...."

"Damn...Umm...I didn't mean to upset you. You don't have to..."

"No, I do. Just please don't judge until you hear everything. The reason why I'm scared to tell her is because it's Sean's baby..." *tells her their entire history*

"Whew...That's a lot." *pauses for a few seconds* "Sleeping with your sister's man is foul as fuck, Dee. I get the whole college and first love thing before they met, but she's the one with him now...Has been for the past what, six years? And now a baby? You have to tell her before she marries this man."

"I know...I will..."

"This is crazy but, as much as I want to rant, I feel bad for you. He's manipulated this entire situation since you were eighteen. He was twenty-four and he knew to take advantage of your naivety. Now he says he loves you? He's full of shit and is using that as a way to keep you quiet and around." *pauses in thought* "Shit!..."

"What's wrong?"

"Remember a few days ago you were throwing up a lot?"

"Yeah?..."

"Well, I got scared and called Nica for advice. She had a rough first trimester so I figured she could help. I told her it was for you."

"Do you think she told anyone?" *extra concerned*

"I mean, it's possible, but that was a few days ago. I feel like if your sister knew she would've been knocking on the door. I'm gonna call Nica and check. But regardless, Dana's gonna find out sooner or later. You can't hide a baby bump and Sean's family has some strong genes. When the baby comes out looking like him..."

"Girl!...I get it. Can you please just call your sister for me? I'll figure it out from there."

To Be Continued......

Next

#black sims #black simblr #sims story #teeleah #moses #deanna #mimi #IYLIML #the weekend

[toastytoaster22]

Ooh is there anything you can tell us about your original work? Or is it fully a secret for now :3c

Ahhhhh I have kept this story so hush hush for such a long time, it feels weird to even mention it online. I've been working on it since 2017, and its a work of fantasy, so the first few years was near exclusively spend worldbuilding. And its me, so i mean I built everything from the ground up, literally. I spent so much time watching geology micro-documentaries. Gathered info on ecology. Weather systems. Volcanology. Birds. Weasels. What would happen to the food chain if certain animals never evolved. if other kinds did. I made a whole planet and drew it and my husband framed it for me for Christmas three years ago. The characters are most of the way there, as are their growing bonds and dynamics. Its been fun to make OCs and really dig into them in a way I don't have time for in fanfic. I love them all very very much. To no one's surprise there are lots of children. The story will be much like Issho and Nightjar in that the story is child-centric, but not necessarily a children's novel. It'll be a bit long and a bit too in depth on some sensitive topics for it to be "for kids" specifically, but I'd never stop a kid from reading it. The plot is... still very much in construction mode. I make wild changes nearly every day and my friends who are in the know about the story can barely keep up. But they all feel like changes in the right direction! So its a very exciting time. I'm soaking in the spring air and going wild with creativity. Its been YEARS since I made progress like this. Maybe unprecedented amounts of work being done.

Would you believe its Gay Dads and their Three Adopted Children With Issues?

#its not just my post manga terumob fics i promise #extremely different people #entirely different planet #there are spirits and curses and blessings and mystery #not going to lie two of the children WERE based loosely off Benjiro and Mihoko #but i changed enough over the years that they have become their own people #if anyone wanted to see the Beta Version of the planet you could go read my Tsubasa fic #Universal Language #hiiiiiii mintberry #thank you for asking I AM SO HAPPY TO SHARE even if its just a little #i can definitely answer more questions! #i am just going to keep the specifics like names and plot elements to myself #I'm weirdly paranoid about this getting stolen for some reason' #toasty answers