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couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name · 9 months

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random percy headcanons:

wants to be the photographer friend SO bad and he technically is but like 70% of the pics come out blurry or weird bc there was a monster attack in the middle of them. his instagram is truly so chaotic looking.

literally always has seashells on him someone will ask him for a pencil or spare change and he has to empty all his pockets of shells to find it. drops his backpack and a bunch of shells fall out. kicks his shoes off and sand and shells fly out and his mortal friends are like percy What the Fuck

his eyes glow underwater!! bioluminescent king. no one told him though and he didn't find out until he joined his school's swim team and terrified everyone (he managed to convince them his contacts were having a weird reaction to chlorine lmao)

he really likes art!! he doesn't just pretend to for rachel's sake he genuinely enjoys painting with her. he likes splatter paint, collages and pop art styles the best. one day after splitting some edibles they realized percy could manipulate water colors and went CRAZY with it

will ask to be excused during class and comes back like an hour later with scorch marks all over his face bleeding from one of his ears covered in dust missing three fingernails rips in his jeans and a fat lip and the teacher is like percy what the actual hell were you doing in the bathroom all this time and he's just like uhhhhhh I have ibs

the brand from camp jupiter did unfortunately (for sally) Unlock something in him lmfao he keeps getting shitty little tattoos. usually stick-n-poke but someone's friends cousin's girlfriend's brother has a gun that gets brought to parties every now and then. most of them are sloppy but you can tell what they are HOWEVER he has one that was supposed to be a seal that came out looking like one of those shitty ms paint crying memes. annabeth laughed at him for ten minutes straight when she saw it.

he wanted to dye his hair blue but he was too chicken to bleach his entire head so he just did the tips. his hair is curly though so it looks absolutely ridiculous but he loves it

percy and annabeth get a crusty little yappy white dog in college and he carries it around like a baby lmao

back to his chaotic instagram, he's got so many pics of him like, relaxing at the bottom of the mariana trench or hugging a giant squid or riding on a whale shark and his mortal friends all think he's just really good at photoshop and this is a very specific bit he decided to commit to. they're always like lol percy where do you even FIND these pictures are you subscribed to like scientific journals for the laughs? but no he just took them all on his shell phone

has an ongoing prank war with annabeth's little brothers bobby and matthew but like it's Unhinged. they're playing 5D chess and she has no idea whats going on

weird tshirts!!! he loves them! like

shit like this or those 'women want me fish fear me' shirts, anything with a funny or incomprehensible slogan is going in his closet right along with his band tees lmfao

bought estelle a panda pillow pet when she was born 🥺

can NOT bring himself to eat seafood no matter how many times poseidon has told him its fine. he's like NO these are my FRIENDS JONATHAN WAS TELLING ME ABOUT HIS GRANDDAUGHTERS WEDDING LITERALLY YESTERDAY WHY IS HE ON A PLATTER DAD. they had to give up and just start eating normal land food at the palace every time he comes to visit lmfao

gets into horsegirl antics with hazel she NEEDS to know everything the horses have to say. they spend hours gossiping in the stables.

movie nights in the poseidon cabin were 10000% a thing and when he was missing annabeth and thalia and grover (and a few others) would still sleep in there every now and then and talk about how much they miss him :(

percy and beckendorf had the worlds most elaborate handshake

he DOES impulse buy stuff just because they're ocean-themed. stuffed animals, home decor, school supplies, clothes, you name it he bought it if theres like a fish on it

has more scars from crashing off his skateboard than he does from monster attacks

grover is somehow the only person who's ever noticed percy is severely claustrophobic

has a deep passion for adele. I can't explain this one I just feel and know it to be true.

he and annabeth both proposed to each other at the same time and they were SO mad about it they kept yelling over each other's speeches lmao

he can SING but he doesn't know it. sally keeps trying to record him singing to himself but something always happens to the camera and she loses the evidence

called chiron a brony one time and mr d thought it was so funny he was nice to percy for an entire week

the camp keeps trying to convince him to teach sword fighting lessons to the younger kids but he can NOT bring himself to swing a sword at a 9 year old so he keeps getting injured

has the most complicated iced coffee order in the world his go-to local coffee shop finally just put the damn drink on the menu and named it after him

he IS the quiet kid in the back of your math class that always has his hood up to try and hide his headphones and eats increasingly elaborate meals out of his backpack when the teacher isn't looking. one time someone caught him with a rotisserie chicken in the middle of a geometry final.

he argued that he DID have enough to share with the class

currently obsessed with the image of him knocking back a container of sea salt as if it was a shot and his mortal friends being like hey! what the actual fuck! and he's just like uhhhhh anemia kills!

its his birthday<3

#percy jackson #pjo #hoo #toa #percabeth #molly mumbles

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strang3lov3 · 10 months

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Self-Indulgent Tendencies

dbf!joel x fem reader

Summary: while on your night walks, you decide to sneak into your dad’s best friend’s pool. When you’re finally caught you’re faced with two options: Joel can call the cops on you or teach you a lesson himself.

Warnings: pervy!Joel, slightly creepy joel, manipulative joel, kinda dark joel, slight dubcon but it’s not crazy, public nudity, semi public sex, rough sex, blowjobs, masturbation, attempted orgasm denial, reader calls joel daddy (couldn’t help myself), unprotected piv, voyeurism, oral f and m receiving, substantial age gap (reader is 20s and joel is 40s, honestly picture whatever age gap you want. I think the girthier the sexier LOL) I was feeling filthy sorry

Word Count: 4.1k

A/N: this poisoned my mind and I had to write it. Please enjoy <3 I would like to dedicate this story to @toxicanonymity who inspires me to be myself and have fun when writing this absolute filth ❤️

@speckledemerald deserves some credit with creating this story. Thank you for brainstorming with me and proofreading and your words of encouragement love!!! 😘❤️😘❤️😘

Texas in July. You did not miss it one bit, yet here you were, walking in the smoldering heat wave, beads of sweat dripping down your body. It was the kind of heat that weighed heavily in the air and suffocated your lungs with each and every breath.

After graduation in May, you moved back home, settling on a cute little townhouse not far from where your parents lived.

As you walk, you wave hi to the Adlers, then to Joel, who’s mowing his lawn. Oh yeah, he’s in this neighborhood too.

Joel, your dad’s best friend since…long before you were around. Joel, with his dark curls, his patchy beard and thick mustache, his sparkly dark eyes, his syrupy-sweet smile. He looks sinfully handsome mowing his lawn in his denim cutoffs and white tank top, his sun kissed skin shimmering in sweat.

He smiles back with a wave, and you walk right past, continuing your walk. It’s late in the evening, the sun is beginning to disappear. This is the best time to get your exercise, you’ve decided. It’s when the air is coolest, but still, not quite cool enough.

You loop around the neighborhood a couple times more and before you know it, you’re back at Joel’s house. You see the waves of his pool out of the corner of your eye, the moonlight dancing on the dark water.

How refreshing it would be to swim right now, you think to yourself. Joel’s pool is big, so clean, and refreshing. You’ve spent many barbecues in his pool, long summer days filled with chicken fights, swimming contests, seeing how long you could hold your breath under the water.

Fuck it.

You tiptoe to his pool, climb up the steps of his deck and begin stripping articles of clothing. It’ll be just for a minute, you decide. Just a quick dip to cool off, then you’re gone, and your daddy’s best friend is none the wiser. You strip completely bare and dip a toe in the cool waters, then quietly slink into the pool.

The water is soothing against your hot skin, the familiar smell of chlorine filling your senses. You wade for a bit, then dip your head under the water, doing a little flip. Pure fucking bliss.

Joel is in his bedroom, he thought he heard his deck creak. He figured it was the raccoons again, Sarah was always feeding them cookies and chips that she shouldn’t have been. But then he hears a splash.

Joel peels his bedsheets off his body and takes a few steps towards the window, finding a young woman in his pool. Naked, her bare ass exposed to the air as she swims across the pool back to the deck. It’s only when she hoists herself up and steals a towel from the basket on the deck he recognizes her as you.

And dear lord, what a fucking sight you are. Your dripping skin illuminated by the pale moonlight, your nipples pebbled and perky from the cool water. You towel your body, then your hair, and then dress yourself. And as quickly as you got in the pool, you leave, hanging your towel over the ledge of the deck.

Joel bites back a groan and palms his cock. He tries his best to shake the images of you, his best friend’s daughter, from his mind. But he can’t. Instead, he strokes his cock furiously, your supple tits and plump ass tattooed on his eyes. Who the fuck do you think you are, swimming bare assed in his pool? Before he even realizes just how close he is, he spills onto himself, making a mess on his clothing.

The next week, you do it again. You walk past Joel’s house, Joel chokes on the mouthful of beer when you wave to him and Tommy.

Tommy smirks at Joel’s mishap. “She sure grew up, huh?”

Joel swallows thickly. “Yeah,” is all he can choke out. Tommy doesn’t know the half of it. He knows your skimpy workout shorts and sports bras, but he doesn’t know what’s underneath. Not how Joel does.

On your way home, you eye Joel’s pool. Empty and dark, waiting for you. You tiptoe through the grass for a second time, strip bare, and dip into the water. This time, you swim for a longer duration, feeling confident after pulling off last week’s stunt with ease.

What you don’t realize (other than the fact Joel watched you through his window last week and subsequently masturbated to his memories of your naked body) is that Joel is in his garage, waiting for you. He stands in the doorway, hidden by the shadows. He planned it this way when you walked past his house. This way, he thinks, he can get a closer look. Watch how your body moves, hear the noises you make.

When you dip under the water, Joel quickly sneaks to the deck and ruffles through your clothing, finding your panties. He grips them tightly, hides back in the garage, and watches you emerge from the water. This time, he jerks off to you with your worn panties clutched into his hand, held under his nose as he inhales your scent. When he comes, he feels a tinge of guilt, but pushes it deep in the back of his mind. He’s dead fucking wrong for this, but so are you, after all.

When you step out of the pool, you can’t find a towel. Joel smirks mischievously at your confusion when you realize your panties are missing too. Did you forget to wear them? Left with no choice, you put on your clothes over your wet skin, your dripping hair soaking your t-shirt. You slip on your sandals and quickly sprint around his house to make your way home.

Only, you run right into Joel, literally. His torso is firm and he grabs your shoulders with his big hands.

“Woah there, kiddo. Finishing up your walk?” he asks you.

“Y-yeah,” you stutter. “Just on my way home.”

Joel eyes you as he blocks you with his big imposing body on the sidewalk, still holding you tightly by the shoulders. You feel small, vulnerable. “Whatcha all wet for?”

You freeze, any words you can think of getting caught in your throat. Joel raises an eyebrow in suspicion, or entertainment, at the way you try to think up a lie. “Got caught in some sprinklers,” you mumble. Your eyes dart past him, but his pupils stay focused on yours. It makes your cheeks burn.

You’re not much better of a liar now than when you were a teenager, he notes. He loves watching you lie to his face when he knows your dirty little secret. He’s made himself come twice now to your dirty little secret, after all. It’s really quite amusing.

You stay frozen in place, Joel’s intense gaze making you uncomfortable. There’s something so off about his demeanor. There’s something unnerving about him, he seems too cool. Shouldn’t he be as startled as you are?

“Gotta get home. Goodnight, Joel,” you pull away from his grasp. You need to get out of this situation before he puts the pieces together, if he hasn’t already.

“Goodnight, sweetheart,”

A few days later, on your regular evening walk, you pass Joel’s house. This time, Joel’s alone on his porch and sipping a beer.

“Get your ass up here and have a drink with me!” he shouts at you, a playful tone in his voice. “Now that you’re legal.”

You blush at the memory he’s referencing. You were only a teenager, couldn’t have been older than sixteen or seventeen. But how rebellious you were.

You snuck into his garage, a cigarette between your lips, and stole a bottle of vodka from his freezer. As you turned to leave, you saw Joel in the doorway, his expression somewhere between upset and amused. He said nothing as he took the ice cold bottle of alcohol from your hands, his fingers gracing lightly over yours.

He motioned for you to sit in the dusty patio chairs by the fridge as he put the bottle of vodka back in his freezer. Then Joel pulled the cigarette from your lips and took a drag, letting the ash fall on the cold cement of the garage floor. “S’not good to smoke,” he exhaled, smoke rising out of his mouth as he sat in the chair closest to the fridge.

Once you sat down, he passed the cigarette back to you and you took a drag of your own. “I know,” you mumbled, unable to meet his face. You could handle the disappointed expressions of your parents, but Joel? Forget it.

“I won’t snitch to your parents if you quit f’me. Can you do that?”

You nodded shyly.

“Good girl,” he said. You shared the rest of the cigarette before Joel smudged it out on the floor with his boot. He pulled you up out of your seat, shoved his hand into your jacket pocket, and stole your pack of cigarettes. Then he sent you home.

That was the night your budding infatuation with Joel really took off. Of course, you were attracted to him before, but it was something about that night. The way he called you good girl, how he took your hand. How he shared your cigarette, the thought of tasting his lips without actually kissing him.

You never smoked another cigarette again.

“Beer?” he offers you.

You don’t really like beer, but you do like Joel. “Sure,”

He walks into his garage to grab you one, opens it and then hands it to you. “Settlin’ in okay?” he asks you as he pulls you in for a hug, perhaps squeezing you a bit too tight.

“I’m doing okay, yeah,” “Stayin’ out of trouble?” he teases you.

You roll your eyes. “Yes, Joel. I’m staying out of trouble,”

Joel winks at you, pulling another swig of his beer. There’s something about him, he’s got that same smug look from the other night when you ran into him. Like he knows something you don’t. “Sure, kiddo,”

You smile shyly, unsure of how exactly to respond.

“How about this heat, hm? You keepin’ cool?”

“Oh, yeah,”

“S’good,” Joel smirks again. You can’t help but squint at him, unsure of what he’s getting at. He’s not talking about–he doesn’t know. Right?

Sarah interrupts then, calling for Joel to come in and watch American Idol with her. Joel bids you goodbye, you finish up the last of your beer and leave, starting for your walk once again.

When you cross Joel’s house on your way home, you battle yourself in your mind. Today is by far the hottest day of the summer, the heat never once breaking. You’re conflicted: on one hand, you’re dripping sweat and aching for the cool waters of Joel’s pool to soothe you, but on the other, you risk getting caught. It seems that Joel is onto you already, but he would have confronted you. Right?

You decide to go for a swim. Walking into Joel’s backyard like it’s your own, you strip and sink into the pool. You dip your head under the water, doing flips and twirling in the water. The starlight dances over your skin, you look like Aphrodite herself.

Joel just watches you, quietly. This time he’s not in the garage, not in his bedroom. He’s next to the deck, watching how your perky breasts break through the surface of the dark water. He’s sick of being teased by you. It’s his turn to fuck with you.

Joel discreetly grabs your pile of clothes and a nearby water gun. Ever so subtly, he fills the water gun with the pool water, and waits. It’s not long before you swim back to the deck and you realize your clothes are gone. You lean over the edge of the pool, checking to see. Did they fall under the deck? Where the fuck did they go? How are you supposed to get home?

You feel a squirt of water on your asscheek as you’re leaning over the edge. You whip around, not seeing anyone. This is getting fucking eerie, you search for your clothes frantically now.

Phwit phoo! You hear a whistle and whip your head back around, and there’s Joel. Right in front of you, holding a squirt gun. “Tsk. Thought you said you were stayin’ out of trouble,” he chides. He doesn’t look the slightest bit surprised or angry. He just looks like…he knows. Like he’s been watching you this whole time. Has he?

“Joel!” you gasp, quickly covering your breasts.

“You lookin’ for these, sweetheart?” Joel holds up your pile of clothes in his hand for you to see. Your mouth drops open. “Tresspassin’ and public nudity ain’t no joke, you know.” “Joel, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was–”

“All y’had to do was ask me if ya wanted to use my pool, honey. You know I woulda’ let you. This heat wave and all,” he stares at you, eyebrows raised, playing with the squirt gun in his hand. He squirts it a few times into the water before tossing it aside. “Certainly wouldn’t want you to get heatstroke.”

“I know, I just–”

“You just what?” Joel interrupts you, “I know what your problem is, honey. You still got that rebellious streak in ya. S’that why you’re wearin’ these slutty panties, hm? Skinny dippin’ in my pool every night?” he holds up the panties, lacy and cheeky. “C’mon now, you know better.”

You reach for the panties, your heart beating through your chest and your cheeks on fire. Joel pulls them out of your reach. “Ah ah ah, mine now. You’re in trouble now, sweetheart. Since you wanna act like a fuckin’ slut and whore yourself out for the whole neighborhood to see,” he tuts disapprovingly at you, “Where’s your self respect?”

You swallow thickly. You don’t know what to say, what to do. You’re caught red handed.

Joel climbs up the steps, each thud of his foot hitting the deck like thunder in your ears. “I’ve got half a mind to call the cops,” he mutters.

“No, Joel, don’t. Please, don’t,” you plead in desperation.

“I dunno, kiddo. This is pretty serious. Think it’s about time you face some real consequences,” his voice is dark and unwavering, you know he means business. “The way I see it, hon, you got two options,” he starts, sitting down at the pool. He dangles his legs next to you, sending ripples your way. He’s wearing nothing but his boxers and a thin gray t-shirt. “Cops can teach you a lesson or I can. What’ll it be?”

It’s no question. “You,” you say. “You, Joel. Please, don’t call the cops.”

Joel chuckles. “Smart girl. First good decision you’ve made in a long time, sweetheart. A long time,”

He takes off his shirt, his tan skin glowing under the sparkling stars and moonlight. Then he takes his cock out of his boxers, already hard and leaking precum. Your mouth drops open, knowing exactly the type of punishment you’re in for. “You know what I think?” he starts, exhaling deeply, “I think you’re bored.”

“What?”

“Y’need somethin’ to keep you busy, out of trouble,” he continues, “Let’s start with that filthy mouth of yours, hm?” Joel begins stroking his member, smearing precum with each pass of his hand.

Desire shakes your bones and you nod, understanding where this is headed.

“Always thought you’d be nicer with a cock down that throat of yours. Shut you right up so you can’t backtalk me. Now get your ass over here, girl,”

You swim over to him, situating yourself between his thighs.

“C’mon, open wide for me. Know you can,” he commands you, and you part your lips around the angry tip of his cock, so rosy and agitated. “Suck.”

You don’t waste a moment. You drag your tongue up and down his shaft, swirling a couple of times over his tip. You savor the salty tangy flavor of his skin, so soft and smooth under your tongue.

“Quit your teasin’,” Joel shoves your head down on his cock, hard. You gag and sputter onto him, pulling back to catch your breath. Your struggle only encourages him, he forces your head to stay down.

“You’re gonna take my cock all the way down your throat, baby. Just relax, open wide,”

Your jaw is already sore trying to accommodate his member. He’s thick and long, filling your mouth completely. You begin bobbing your head up and down, up and down. Massaging him with your tongue, tracing over his bulging veins.

“That’s it,” he praises you softly. “Doin’ so well f’me. Always knew you’d suck me real good.

You cup his balls in your hand and continue sucking, making a mess of his cock. Spit dribbling down your chin and into the thick tuft of curls at the base of his dick.

Your jaw is aching, but you don’t dare stop.

“Look at you,” he coos, his strong hand caressing the side of your face before settling at your jaw. “Good lord.”

He bucks into your mouth, pushing you to your limits. He’s letting out little grunts and groans now and then, and then you feel his cock twitch in your mouth.

Joel pulls you off his cock, a trail of spit connecting his member to your lips. Then he grabs you by your biceps into his lap. “Gonna let me fuck some sense into you, hm?”

Your heart jumps at his request, but you’re not ready. “No, Joel, need you to touch me first,” you beg. After the way his thick cock made your jaw sore, you know your pussy needs warming up to accommodate his massive size.

Joel chuckles darkly, one hand firmly gripping your ass and the other holding his cock. He lines himself up to your entrance, notching the tip at your hole, not yet ready to take him. “This is your punishment. Ain’t s’posed to feel good, honey,” he says, his voice cool and collected.

“No, Joel,” you protest, wiggling your hips away from him. Your heart is pounding, your stomach drops.

“Maybe,” Joel grunts, both hands now holding your asscheeks in a vice grip. “If you’re good t’me and keep out of trouble, I’ll love you a little sweeter next time,”

He doesn’t give you a moment to process his words before he unceremoniously pulls you down on his cock. The stretch and burn is unimaginable, your eyes blur with tears and you nearly scream, but Joel covers your mouth to muffle your shock.

“You be quiet,” he warns you with a stern voice. You’re on top, but he’s the one in control, pushing and pulling your hips up and down on his cock. Using you as his own fuck toy. You bite into his hand, doing your best to hold back your screams.

“Joel,” you cry into his palm, tears falling down your cheeks and over his knuckles. The pain is bordering on unbearable.

“Relax,” he commands you, his voice somewhat soothing. “Just relax f’me, hon. Quit squeezin’, open up,”

He’s right. You just need to relax your muscles, let yourself take him. As he fucks into you, you focus on the small amount of pleasure you can feel deep inside. It grows larger with every thrust, and soon enough, the painful stretch is replaced by pleasure.

You sigh in contentment, savoring every delicious thrust. Joel fucks into you with such fervor, hitting that sweet spot inside you with each and every one of his movements. “Oh, Joel,” you moan. Your arms are wrapped around him, your head falling to his neck. You bite into his neck and inhale his musky scent, woody and slightly sweaty. That, coupled with the smell of the chlorine fills your nostrils, a wonderful combination.

“Jesus, girl,” he whispers, his hot breath making your skin prickle. “Lettin’ me fuck you like this for the whole neighborhood to see. You like this, don’t you?”

“Yes, daddy,” you gasp.

Joel stops, pulling you back from him. “Daddy, huh? S’that how we’re doin’ things?”

You blush, unsure of what to say. You didn’t mean to say that.

Joel fills the silence. “You’re worse off than I thought,” he says like it’s a fact. You can’t quite place his tone, or how he feels. “You’re a lost cause, baby.” he exaggerates his sigh, disappointed.

You look to the side, trying to think of something, anything to respond to him with.

“S’alright, though. I like you like this,” he begins fucking you mercilessly again. “All mine.”

“Fuck, Joel,” you scramble on top of him, grasping at his toned body to keep from falling into the water.

“Mhm. Who am I?” he grunts through gritted teeth. He drags a hand up your torso and pinches at your pebbled nipple.

“Daddy,” you whine. He bounces you up and down his cock, fingers painting bruises into your soft skin.

“S’right,” he mumbles.

Joel fucks you like you’ve never been fucked before, deep and hard and intentional. His movements are precise, calculated. You’re clay in his hands, he’s molding you into what he wants. With each movement, you become his entirely.

You’re breathless as he thrusts into you. His feet splash in the water, you feel drops on your back every so often. His calloused and rough hands holding you tightly. His warm torso pressed to yours, one of his hands groping at your soft breasts.

He feels you squirm, he feels your pussy clench around his cock. Your breaths are frantic and uneven. “You’re close, aren’t ya?”

“Yeah,” you whine. He’s reading your body like a fucking book.

“That’s just too bad,” he tuts. Your stomach fills with dread, knowing what his next words likely will be.

“Joel, please,” you cry.

“Mm mm,” he mumbles, his eyes fixed on yours. His eyes are dark, full of lust. Desire. Desire to control you, make you his and his alone.

“Let me come. Please, daddy,” you grind your hips into his, feeling the friction of his hair on your clit.

“I don’t think you deserve that, my love,” his voice is sickeningly sweet, full of fake sympathy for your predicament.

“No, m’so close, please. N-fuck, not gonna last,”

“Don’t you dare, sweetheart,” he warns you, never once changing his pace as he fucks you. “You’ll be in deeper shit than ya are now, I don’t think you need that,”

“Please,” you cry, feeling the beginning of your orgasm bloom deep in the pit of your stomach. “Please, please, please,”

You can’t help it. You can’t stave off your release any longer. With whimpers and moans, you come all over his cock, your slick dripping from your cunt and painting his lap. It sends bolts of electricity through your veins and you shudder uncontrollably, mouth wide open and your eyes screwed shut.

Your pussy quivers, squeezing and massaging Joel’s cock is all he needed. Making a strangled sort of groan, he spills into you, hot ropes of his come shooting inside you and painting your walls. He holds you tight enough to break bone as he fucks you through your shared releases.

With the stars in the sky now behind your eyes, your chest heaving up and down in gasping breaths, Joel lifts you off of his cock. Your skin is damp with sweat and you dip back into the water. And to think you thought you were hot after your late night walks.

Joel watches your slick and his own come drip from your spent cunt onto the deck, then into the pool. “Look at this godforsaken mess you made,” he points to his lap, glistening with your juices. “Naughty fuckin’ girl. You just can’t help yourself.”

Godforsaken mess is right. You look at him with wide eyes, speechless. He stares right back at you with his own intense and piercing gaze, that same look when he caught you stealing his vodka.

How far away that night seems now. It hits you, what you just did with your father’s best friend. Joel, who practically raised you, who taught you to drive a stick and held your graduation party at his house. All of those barbecues, those hot summer nights spent on his deck, the same deck you desecrated just moments ago.

You just can’t help yourself.

“Shoot, you poor thing,” he sighs, tucking himself back into his boxers. He doesn’t bother putting his shirt back on, but he does grab your panties and clutches them in his fist. “You’re fucked now.”

Joel’s legs splash in the water as he stands up and goes back inside his house, then tosses you a clean towel from inside.

You really are fucked now.

tags: @swiftispunk @rosaliedepp @pedrotonin @kittenlittle24 @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @brittmb115 @bigboiseason123 @laysmt @guiltgoreglory @aubreysylvain @leeeesahhh @oliveg95 @ifall4dilfs @alloftheboysivelovedbefore @harriedandharassed @vickie5546 @louisxosblog @southernbe @ravenouswild @luvrking @r02eg0ld @amythenortherner @walkintheprk @zpandaqueen @silkiers @angel-with-a-heart @kdogreads @boofy1998 @theoremrobin @ihatespoilers @2valentines @happy--birthday--kiddo @elissaaa @paleidiot @brie-annwyl @str84pedro @sesigsss @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @palomaluvsdilfs @kyloispunk @tiredbuthappy @yuk-for-president @jazzy-music-cat @anoverhwhelmingdin @dontatmethebeasts @venus122idkpleaze @nopealoupe @blackvelveteen1339 @monboudoir @darleneslane @bbyanarchist @spideysimpossiblegirl

#strang3lov3 #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller smut #the last of us #joel miller #the last of us hbo #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #dbf!joel x reader #dbf!joel smut #dbf!joel #dbf! joel miller #dbf!joel miller #dark!joel miller #dark!joel miller x reader #speckledemerald

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crappymixtape · 1 year

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endless summer

steve’s pool is always full during the indiana summers and he loves his friends, but he just wants you • *18+ only | ( 2.8k, smut, fluff, friends to lovers, steve x you, steve x reader )

E N D L E S S S U M M E R 🎶 i would die 4 u, art school girlfriend

“Hey, hey. None of that shit in my pool!” Steve was standing on the deck with a hand on his hip, arm waving about as he yelled at Dustin and Lucas who were dragging a half-empty pizza box closer to the edge of the pool.

“We’re hungry!” Dustin protested indignantly.

“Yeah, so hungry,” Lucas added, still dragging along the pizza box slowly as if Steve wouldn’t catch him.

“No, no, no. Get that outta here,” Steve was already around the other side of the pool and snatching the box away from Lucas’ grabby hands, tossing it up onto the patio table. “Children,” he shook his head at both younger boys.

Whatever, was mumbled back to Steve followed by a couple of hidden middle fingers, but the heat was enough to stall any real arguing and before long everyone slipped back into the cool water, lazily floating in the hot Indiana summer.

No one knew what day of the week it was, you only knew when you had to work next – not today – and time didn’t matter. All anyone wanted to do was spend time with each other, normal time, not running-away-from-flesh-eating-bats-time, and it felt perfect. You wished you could stay like this forever.

Stretched out on a lounger, you were the picture of summer wearing a tangerine bikini, a stolen pair of Steve’s aviators, and camped out next to a cooler full of beer and Coke. Whenever you felt your skin protesting against the sun you’d jump into the pool to cool off, but hurried right back to your chair after.

Dustin, Lucas, Mike and Will had spent most of the day trying to shove Max and El in the water, but were thwarted almost every time. I mean, c’mon, it’s El. Like she could’t sense it? Robin and Eddie found their little patch of shade under the only tree in the backyard and passed a joint back and forth until their eyes were glassy and heavy, lips permanently curved into lazy smiles. And Steve? Well. What Steve wanted to be doing and what he was actually doing were two very different things.

He couldn’t help his lifeguard instincts around the pool, sniping at the kids over all kinds of shit – out of love, obviously – but every single time he turned away it was to look at you.

You. Wearing his sunglasses. Your tangerine bikini hugging your curves just right, not leaving much to the imagination. The scent of your coconut sunscreen and citrus shampoo mixed with chlorine and Cherry Coke teasing him every time he walked by, it was almost painful.

Then, finally, the others hauled themselves out of the pool, tired from the heat and shoving each around and playing chicken and summer. You grinned watching as Mike and Lucas both sleepily settled their heads into El’s and Max’s laps atop their towels. Dustin and Will were off talking about Suzie and their next D&D campaign. And Robin and Eddie…well. They were there, but not there, and Steve had picked up the pool net to scoop out the few stray bits of crap the others had dragged into the water.

God. It was like he existed for summer. Like he was made for it. His skin all golden, kissed by the sun and dotted in freckles. Hair, just a touch lighter than it was in the winter, hanging across his dewy forehead. The muscles in his arms tensing and relaxing as he pushed and pulled the pool net through the water. Turquoise swim shorts dripping water, plip plip plip on the patio, clinging to his legs. Sunglasses perched on his head so that he couldn’t hide it if he snuck glances of you over there wearing his aviators.

You could feel his gaze wander up your long legs, your thighs, the soft curve of your hips, that damn tangerine top. And when you lifted a hand to take off your glasses, the grin you gave him was almost cruel. “Looking for something, Harrington?” you called across the patio.

Despite his tanned skin, the flush that rose in his cheeks could be seen from where you were sitting. “What?” fell out of his mouth, dumb in the summer sun, and he propped himself up against the pool skimmer, clearly caught. But then he recovered, just so very Steve. “Just admiring the view,” he gave you a grin of his own and it was your turn to blush.

Biting in your lower lip you put his aviators aside and smirked. “Nice day, hm?” you snarked, swinging your legs over the side of the lounger to stand.

“Oh, definitely a heat advisory in effect,” Steve teased back, discarding the skimmer on the patio at his feet, finally unable to keep himself away from you any longer.

Walking with a purpose he closed the gap between the two of you and took your face in his hands and pressed a heady kiss to your mouth, catching your lower lip between his. You tasted like popsicles and Cherry Coke.

“What was that for?” you murmured against his lips, his hands still holding onto your cheeks as your hands wandered up to rest on his chest.

“For not eating pizza in the pool,” he grinned against you as he went in for another kiss and then leaned in close, his lips to your ear, “I forgot something inside.”

It was so hot, the sun beating down on both of you, but you shivered at his words as goosebumps trailed along your neck. Laughing you tilted your head so that you could meet his gaze and when your eyes met your grin softened and fell. Steve’s eyes. Deep pools of caramel swimming with tiny flecks of hazel and gold. Long brown lashes sweeping his cheeks. Steve. He only had eyes for you.

“I’ll come with you,” your voice was barely above a whisper as you felt a heat rising in your core that had absolutely nothing to do with the hot Indiana sun, and without hesitation his hand was tangling with yours, pulling you through the slider door and up the stairs.

Steve kicked the door shut as you both tumbled into his room and he caught your lips in another kiss before pressing more down your jaw, your neck, to the little hollow behind your ear.

It was hot, the air in his room upstairs was warm and thick and his hands were everywhere all at once. Wandering across the small of your back, trailing the length of your arms, tugging your hips into his. It all made you dizzy, but you kept up.

Wrapping your hands around the back of his neck, you spun him around and pushed him down onto his bed. His eyes went wide for a split second, surprised at the show of confidence, but he came back down from it and grinned up at you. “So damn pretty,” he murmured and you knew he meant it.

“I could say the same to you,” you purred before diving down against him, your bodies finally pressing together, skin meeting skin around your bikini and his trunks. It felt electric. You’d both wanted nothing more after watching each other in the heat, dripping with the glittering turquoise of the pool, longing to look, to touch, to feel.

A groan escaped him as you trailed kisses along his shoulder and up against his stubbled jaw before settling your mouth on his, lightly pulling on his lower lip.

“Been wanting to do this all day,” he mumbled, fingers fumbling with the tie of your top, cinched snug against your body. As it came undone it fell down onto his chest and he stopped short, hands holding onto your waist for dear life. He looked at you like you were the only thing that existed in that moment. You were the only thing that existed in that moment. “Damn,” it was almost reverent, in awe of you. Every curve, every dip, the very softness of you.

Giving him a small smile you leaned down, brushing your lips against his ear, and simply whispered his name. Pulling back the look you gave him shattered any kind of control he’d been grasping onto and he loosed a heavy breath.

In one fell swoop Steve lifted you off of him easily, tossing you down on the bed before bringing his needy mouth to your sun kissed skin again, body meeting yours. You could feel him against you, could feel much he wanted you, and the heat pooling between your legs told you you wanted him just as much.

Steve bit your shoulder gently and he smirked when you sucked in a gasp. “Shit,” you hissed, half laughing half moaning at the kisses he started trailing down your chest and along the soft curve of your breasts.

His face moved down your body, mouth touching every bit of you he could, and then he paused and flicked his eyes up to look at you. “What?” his tongue ran along his lower lip as he grinned, knowing full well what he was doing to you.

Brow furrowing you propped yourself up on your elbows and opened your mouth to reply, but it promptly clamped shut when he slipped his mouth over your nipple, eliciting another moan from your lips. Your head fell back against the sheets as your hands moved to tangle in his hair. “Want you,” was all you could manage, your lips parted as your breath hitched in your throat.

“I know,” Steve’s voice was low, rough, and the grin he’d given you was long gone, pupils blown wide – fuck, he wanted you too. He pushed himself up for only as long as it took to yank his trunks off, his fingers deftly untying your bikini bottoms before tugging them out from under your ass and throwing them unceremoniously to the floor.

Standing at the edge of the bed he stopped and took in the vision you were, all soft curves and tan lines and freckles. Coconut sunscreen and cherry red lips. He leaned forward and ran his hands up your calves, hooking his palms behind your knees, and pulled you to the edge of the bed as he knelt down. Steve couldn’t take his eyes away from yours even as his hands moved to spread your legs apart, thumbs pressing into your thighs.

His fingers swept inward, slipping against the slick between your legs and you saw his eyes flutter closed for a second as he touched you, felt you, jaw clenching as he groaned, “So wet baby, is that for me?”

“Mhmm,” your mumbled yes was tangled up with another moan as he slipped first one finger then two inside of you, his thumb taking up a slow, languid pace as it traced circles over your clit. Steve was so good to you. Took care of you. You came first, always.

He easily found a rhythm as his fingers slipped in and out, in and out, in and out. It was wrecking you and as he picked up the pace your whimpers grew to moans despite biting down on your bottom lip. “You’re so good, baby,” he pressed kisses to your inner thigh, “Want you to come for me.”

Your heart was fluttering in your chest, like a hummingbird caught in your ribcage, frantic and seeking release. One hand still tangled in his hair, the other desperately clinging onto a fistful of sheets as you felt yourself racing closer to the edge. He made you feel so good, his fingers were so good, but he was too far away. You wanted him on you, crushing into you, fucking you.

“Steve,” breathless you begged, “Need you.” And he slowed, knowing exactly what you wanted. What you needed.

“Yeah, okay baby,” he reassured you, climbing over the top of you as he fumbled in his nightstand drawer and grabbed a condom, tearing the foil between his teeth and thumb. Kneeling with a leg on either side of your hips he slid it over his length, pumping his hand up and down a few times before fitting himself between your legs. You were so wet, sweet like honey, and his heart was pounding in his chest when he looked up into your eyes.

He slowly eased himself into you, feeling how tight you were on him, and he let out a groan. “Jesus Christ,” his eyes squeezed shut as he bottomed out, you felt so fucking good, but he quickly opened them again to look down at you. “Okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you felt your body slowly relax as you adjusted to the way he filled you, letting out a sigh, the most perfect melody to his ears, “M’okay.”

ALifting a hand to gently brush your hair away from your dewy forehead he took you in. “So pretty,” he whispered, "So damn beautiful." And then started rocking into you, your hips rising to meet him with each thrust. Slow at first, his forehead falling down to meet yours, one hand holding him over you as the other tangled your fingers with his.

“Oh shit,” Steve hissed as he picked up the pace, both of you panting with the effort as you pushed each other closer and closer to your breaking point. You looked up at him as he fucked into you, his pretty lips parted as he sucked in breaths, moving faster and faster chasing his high.

Letting your hand go he moved his fingers back down to your clit and moved them in slick, heavy circles and the moan you loosed then almost shattered him. “Oh–oh god, Steve, I’m gon-gonna come,” you were gasping for air, as the movements of his fingers grew messy and faster, wanting you to find release before he did, your name leaving his lips over and over like a prayer. And then something in you snapped and your hips bucked heavy against his, your hand flying up to hold onto his bicep like a lifeline as each wave of your climax washed over you.

“Fuck, me too, so close,” Steve’s face almost looked pained as his movements grew hurried and uneven, and then finally his rhythm broke too and his lips parted as his breath hitched in his throat. He finished fast as you clenched around him, guiding him up and over the edge and slowly he rocked his hips to a stand still, both of you messy and sweaty and wrecked.

Letting his head fall forward Steve buried his face in you, pressing light kisses to your collarbone, the crook of your neck, your cheek. He smirked, exhaustion creeping over both of you, and brought his lips to yours, “It’s that damn bikini.”

Laughing you slowly moved to cup his face in your hands and shook your head. “Mental note to wear it more often,” your own little grin tugged up at the corners of you lips as you pressed a kiss to his forehead.

Steve laughed, but it was cut short as he eased out of you and collapsed onto the bed next to you, the fan on the ceiling pushing the warm, thick, summer air around his room. Resting your head on his chest as he settled, you listened to his heartbeat thud, thud, thud against your ear, your breathing slowly evening out along with his.

He ran his fingers through your hair idly, humming low and content, and kissed the top of your head. “So–” he started, voice tired and gravely, but happy, “I…I wanted to tell you that…uh, what I mean is…shit.”

“What is it?” propping yourself up against his chest you looked at him, concern knitting your brow together.

He caught the worry in your eyes and quickly shook his head, his hand finding yours and turning it over to press a kiss to your palm. “No, no nothing bad!” he reassured you quickly, his cheeks flushing pink. “I just,” he sighed, an uncharacteristically nervous laugh escaping him, “I just wanted to tell you I love yo–”

“Steve!”

“It wasn’t my fault–”

“Mike told me to–”

“I did not!”

Voices carried up through the open window cutting Steve off and he jammed his tongue into his cheek. Someone was gonna get it.

“Oh my god, are you kidding me?” irritation gave Steve a second wind and he crossed the room so fast you couldn’t help laughing as you watched his bare ass stop at the window sill. “I’m a little busy here!” he yelled down at the boys, but then you saw his expression change. “Wait, who the hell got pizza in the pool??”

Quiet. Then a barrage of voices.

“Dustin was hungry–”

“I told him it wasn’t allowed, Steve–”

“You know how he is!”

“They’re all lying, Steve!”

Putting both hands over his face he groaned, loud and exaggerated, before letting them drop to his sides. He thought for a moment, then decided he didn’t care and threw his hands up in defeat.

“You know what? You figure it out,” he shouted back down at them and then pulled the sheer curtains shut before coming back to bed.

Laughing he tossed the sheet over both of you, pulling you in close, smiling against your skin, his hands holding you soft and gentle and then he finally whispered against your ear what it was he was trying to tell you all that time.

I love you.

crappymixtape™ • steve harrington masterlist // stranger things masterlist

#steve harrington smut #smut #is it hot in here or is it just steve #brb melting #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #steve harrington #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x fem #steve stranger things #steve x you #steve x reader

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supercap2319 · 6 months

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"Ikaris? What are you doing?" Y/N asked, looking down at the Eternal currently sunbathing. His hands were behind him head, exposing his hairy pits and he had sunglasses on his face.

"What does it look like, Duckling? I'm sunbathing."

"Can Eternals even get tanned?" Y/N took the chair next to him.

Ikaris pulled his shades down and exposed his blue eyes to the sunlight. He blinked the spots dancing in his vision away as he turned to Y/N. "Of course we can. We've just never had the chance to do stuff like this." He gestures towards the pool and juice bar nearby.

"You mean sitting here next to a chlorine smelling pool of water next to an overpriced fruity drinks bar, while wearing a tight black speedo?" Y/N raised an eyebrow.

"I mean a vacation. Fun in the sun. And you noticed my speedo?"

"I mean it doesn't leave much to the imagination what you're packing downstairs. And I'm not the only one who's noticed. A couple of women were at the edge of the pool, staring at you and giggling." Ikaris looked and saw that indeed the women were looking at him. One was a pretty blonde in a red bikini. Her friend had gorgeous dark hair and skin as warm and as inviting as cocoa. She wore a purple swimsuit. They saw Ikaris looking at them as they smiled and winked invitingly.

"Looks like someone's got fun times tonight." Y/N noted.

"Oh? Is someone jealous?" Ikaris lit a cigarette.

Y/N used his powers to blow it out. "Not jealous of anything. And you shouldn't smoke. Bad for your lungs. If you have lungs."

"Why are you bothering me again?" Ikaris asked.

Y/N shrugged his shoulders. "I want you to come play with me in the pool."

"Why not ask anyone else?"

"Doing couple shit. Amongst other things."

"I see." Ikaris laid back down.

"Come on, Ikaris. Please? One game of chicken or something."

"Mmm...nah. I'm good as is."

"Fine." Y/N used his magic and pulled Ikaris's shades off his face and on to his own. "You'll have to catch me in the water if you want these back." He ran towards the pool and jumped in.

Ikaris sighed and stood up as he looked at Y/N, eyed flashing golden slightly. "You better hope I don't catch you. Because you're gonna be sorry." He dove into the pool.

#x male reader #male reader insert #male x male #Ikaris #ikaris x reader #ikaris x male reader #richard madden #Richard Madden x male reader #eternals #mcu eternals #sunbathing #pool #vacation

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innuendostudios · 9 months

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youtube

oh lookie another bite-sized Alt-Right Playbook. back me on Patreon plz.

transcript below the thingy.

Say, for the sake of argument, you’re twelve or thirteen, it’s the mid-90’s, you’re sitting across the table from your conservative aunt at a family reunion. (This aunt will, a decade from now, become a Tea Partier.) You have - you sweet, innocent child - brought up the subject of evolution, being too young to know it’s politicized, and your aunt has not taken well to it. She goes on one of her classic tirades, dismissing the very concept of evolution as patently ridiculous, dropping a quote that will stick with you for ages: “You can’t get snakes from chicken eggs.” And you do your best to explain, with your limited knowledge-base, that, yeah, you can only get a snake from a snake egg, but that snake is going to be a little different from its parents, and the next snake will be a little different from its parents, and you multiply that by a few million generations and you might have something very different from that original snake. Maybe something with legs, or that can breath underwater, or see better in the dark!

And your aunt stares you dead in the windows of your soul and repeats, “You Can’t Get Snakes From Chicken Eggs.”

This is an ego-saving maneuver in which a complex truth is rejected in favor of simplicity. Your aunt has a statement that is true, though non sequitur to the argument at hand. And, after your explanation of how genetics work on long timelines, she repeats her original statement to herself and it still feels true. It’s the belief that the truth is easily recognized, and that it’s always simple, because the world is simple, and, if you can’t explain it to me like I’m five, then you’re probably wrong or making things up.

This heuristic very hard to argue with. You’ve heard that same aunt claim the hole in the ozone layer is caused by sunspots. Now, we’ve talked about the memetic power of statements that are short, quippy, and wrong, and this is a fine example. You might feel the correct response is a statement that is short, quippy, and correct, but here’s the conundrum: the truth is “the hole in the ozone layer is caused by chlorofluorocarbons.” Not only is that a more complex sentence, it’s a more complex idea. If the ozone hole is caused by sunspots, then it’s probably been happening for billions of years, it’s not caused by humans, and we don’t have to do anything about it. It’s reassuring, and tells folks all they care to know without further questions. But the truth of how aerosols deplete ozone is more complex, not least because, even without knowing the science of it, it implies it’s a problem we should do something about.

Ultraviolet light makes CFCs release chlorine into the stratosphere, where it bonds with ozone, converting it into oxygen and chlorine monoxide, neither of which do what ozone does to protect us from the sun. There may be people who can explain that more simply than I just did, but there’s a floor to how simple the truth can be and still be the truth. Falsehoods don’t have that. There is no limit on how simple an idea can be when it doesn’t have to conform to reality.

You play the game of “who’s got the simplest argument,” liars win every time. You can’t get much simpler than “sunspots.” But if you can convince people that the world is complex, then simplistic explanations, across the board, become suspect. It might be too late to do that with your aunt, but maybe there’s still hope for your cousins.

If you’re wondering what they do when confronted with something they cannot deny is complicated: well, that’s your fault. You, or someone like you, took their simple world and overcomplicated it. All the conspiracy theories and fingerpointing and screenshots they’ve squiggled over in MS Paint, all of that is the story of how you overcomplicated the world; it fills in the gap between the simplicity of the world they believe in and the unambiguous complexity of the one in which we live. And, yes, that story is at least as complex as the truth you’re trying to tell them, and, no, it doesn’t make any sense, but that’s a detail. Because the moral of that story is incredibly simple: it is this way because some people made it this way, and all they have to do is take the power back from those people and things can be simple again. This is their version of “a wizard did it.”

#video essay #alt right playbook #innuendo studios #Youtube

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abibliophobiaa · 10 months

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hehe steddie+naps perhaps …

steddie x g/n reader (300 words)

——

The day passed in a blur.

It passed in endless battles of chicken in the pool. Burgers grilled over hot coals. Hotdogs covered in countless condiments shared over joyful conversation.

The kids had even initiated a water balloon fight.

And suddenly it had been exploding balloons against your feet, hips, sides. It had been Dustin rushing up behind you and distracting you, just as Steve gripped your waist and sent the two of you hurdling into the pool.

You’d laughed and latched onto his shoulders, shoving him beneath the surface, making him splutter until he’d leaned forward and kissed you, tasting of chlorine and the stick of gum he’d tossed in his mouth after dinner.

Later, it had been Eddie tugging on Steve’s hand, and then yours, making up some excuse about how the potato salad was making him feel a little sick.

Naturally, you all had to leave. Because Eddie was the designated driver for the evening, the three of you spending the rest of the weekend at the empty Harrington home.

Because you’d all been craving touch all evening, wanted to be close.

You kissed for what felt like hours.

Steve’s tongue glided over yours as Eddie’s fingers wandered beneath your sleep shorts, driving your hips back against his, begging him for release. Eddie leaned over your shoulder to claim Steve’s mouth, groaning into the fullness of his lips, tangling his ringed fingers in his hair.

The boys—your boys—too tired, skin too warm from the sun, eventually curled on their sides for a nap. Eddie at your back, you in the middle, your arms tight around Steve’s waist.

Like three ships in the night, tangled up in bedsheets, fitted together like matching puzzle pieces.

“Love you,” Eddie mumbled against your skin, lips a gentle press at your shoulder. “You too, Stevie.”

Both of you replied in same, eyes closed, relishing in the comfort of one another, of the sunset peeking in through the gently parted window, a summer breeze cooling warm skin.

Chests to backs, arms around waists, bodies knitted close.

——

#lunaloveseddie #lunalovessteve #Steddie x reader #Eddie munson x reader #Steve Harrington x reader

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yeehawbvby · 2 years

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Let’s Play a Game (Sebastian x GN!Reader)

Rating: Teen+

Summary: Sebastian has a strange proposition for you.

Author’s Note: Inspired by this comic! This is my first fic to be released publicly and I speedran it at like 5am when inspiration struck. It’s super corny, but I hope y’all like it anyway!

Edit: Found the comic’s source, finally! Martin Rosner, or @/HotPaperComics on Twitter :)

Check it out on ao3!

“Let’s play a game.”

You cock a brow, choking back a strong sip of your drink, fresh off the bar counter. Jeez, that blue-haired chick spiked the crap out of this thing.

“What kind of game?”

Your acquaintance, Sebastian, is sporting the most dastardly possible grin.

He’s the son of your neighborhood carpenter, and just about the only human you’ve had contact with under the age of 40 since moving away from the city. A charming fella, if you find edgy, nerdy stoners to be charming… Unfortunately, you do.

And after you somehow got lucky enough for him to invite you out, and couldn’t resist saying “yes” to his obnoxiously pretty face. You hadn’t checked your luck today, but you can only assume that the spirits have been doing Yoba’s work.

Narrowing his eyes, he answers your question. “Chicken.”

Chicken? Memories of your childhood friends flood your mind. Stacking atop each other’s shoulders on a hot summer’s day, pool noodles in hand. Sunscreen and sweat and heavily chlorinated water making your grips slippery. Not a worry in the world, other than whether or not you would be the first to fall into the water below you…

“Like, the pool game?”

He laughs, “Not quite.” He sips his own beverage — the same thing as yours — unfazed by its strength. Show-off. “Let’s spend some quality time together.” Oh? “We’ll help each other with errands, do some cooking together, go on some adventures in the mines or whatever…”

“So,” the gears turn in your brain as you cut him off, “you just want to… hang out? How is that—”

He silences you with a raised finger, cutting you back off with his words. “First one to fall in love loses.”

“…What? ”

“You’re new, so you’re basically friendless, yeah?”

“Ouch,” you wince, although you can’t help the light laugher that escapes you. He isn’t wrong. You just got here, what, a week ago? “Yeah, I guess.”

“Are you single?” He endearingly wiggles his eyebrows, to which you roll your eyes.

“Yeah…” you grumble into your drink before bravely downing half the glass.

“Then it’s settled.”

“But still, how is this a game?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

_______________

You knew you were at a disadvantage when starting this stupid little “game” with Sebastian, but you had no idea how hard it would be. Of course he’s cute, so there’s no avoiding a crush on the guy. You knew that. But after spending so much time with him over just a few days, you’re hopelessly into him.

But you’ll be damned if you tell him that.

Sure, it’s probably cheating, but you have too much pride to just openly admit defeat so easily. And besides, who’s to say it’s love yet? Not you, you sly bastard.

One night at the beach, watching the stars and waves together, you ask for clarification. “What is love?”

He avoids the question, only singing the lyrics “Baby don’t hurt me, no more," in response.

Another day, while he’s helping you forage in Cindersnap, he cheekily asks, “Have you ever wanted to kiss me?“

Of course you have. But instead of answering, you sing, “K-k-kiss me, infect me with your love and…” etcetera.

It’s become a trend. Part of the game, if you will. Whenever either of you openly questions the other’s feelings, the rules of the game, whatever, the other person pulls a song outta their ass, turning the situation into an impromptu karaoke. It’s fun, but it’s only making things harder in the end.

The charade goes on for weeks. Neither of you have had the balls to call it quits, and you’re both feeling the consequences of this long-fought battle.

________________

“C’mere,” Sebastian mumbles from the other side of your couch.

You scoot over just a little, not daring to cuddle up. The two of you have only made light contact thus far, and you know you’ll probably come out as a big dirty cheater who lost the game forever ago, if you were to do so much as hold hands with the guy.

He whines, “More.” He reaches his arm out, signaling you to tuck yourself into his side. “I don’t bite hard, I promise.”

You glare at him. “I’m good.”

“You’re shivering, actually.” Ugh. He’s right. The central heating in your cabin hasn’t been installed yet, leaving the fireplace in the kitchen as your only source of warmth.

“Fine, whatever.” you snuggle into his arms, balling up your blanket over your cheeks to hide the fierce blush coating them.

As Sebastian searches through your movie options on Netflix, you’re able to slowly settle into his touch… although, the more you cozy up to him, the faster you can hear his nearby heart racing.

Maybe you fell for him first, but this is definitely the heart rate of someone who’s just as into you as you’re into them. Holy shit.

You giggle.

“Hmm?” he hums questioningly.

“Is your resting heart rate always this fast?”

No answer.

Your eyes widen at his silence. You peer up to see his own eyes wide as well.

“Oh my god,” you lean up, leveling with him.

He closes his eyes, “God damnit.”

“Oh my GOD.” Beaming, you cup his cheeks in your hands. His eyes are still shut but his face is getting warm. “I won.”

No answer.

“I fucking won!”

Still no answer. His eyes slowly open, staring back at yours. As soon as he sees your goofy smile, he mirrors it.

Not knowing what else there is to do at a time like this, you kiss him. He kisses back, and it’s as magical as you’d imagined it to be. His lips are soft, his kissing style as rough around the edges as he is. It doesn’t take long for tongues to get involved.

But it also doesn’t take long for him to crack the code:

With a light grunt and his eyebrows furrowed, he pulls away. “Wait, but if you’re this eager to…” he thinks aloud. You can almost see the lightbulb go on. Oops. “You didn’t win, did you?”

#any gender #any gender reader #gender neutral reader #sebastian x reader #sebastian x farmer #sebastian sdv #sdv sebastian #sebastian stardew #sebastian stardew valley #stardew valley #stardew sebastian #stardew valley fanfic #one shot #oneshot #fluff #comfort #flirting

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iwaizumis-bitch · 2 years

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PERV-FECT DAY FOR A POOL PARTY!

haikyuu + aot men being pervy at the pool!

CONTENT WARNINGS: pervy men, groping/fondling, semi-public male masturbation, non-con photos

WORD COUNT: 858

the sunscreen applies

they just want a feel! that can’t be that bad, right? he'll offer to lather you up, big hands feeling every inch of your skin that he could. 'sorry, it's cold', he'll whisper into your ear, massaging the sunscreen into your shoulders. he'll dip lower, fighting the dirty thoughts in his mind to unclasp the frilly bikini. they'll smooth over your mid-back, fingertips pressing into your ribs. truth is, he didn't really want to be here. a pool party just wasn't his scene. but if he got to feel you all over with no excuse? he would put up with it. his fingers trail upwards slowly cupping your tits gently from the side, cock stirring in his swim trunks. he'll pull away after a few moments, continuing lathering the cream down to your lower back, tongue poking out between his lips as he stares at your ass, barely covered by the flimsy bikini bottoms. he takes in a sharp breath, hands moving to cup your ass cheeks before his mind could comprehend what he was doing. you didn't move away, much to his shock. you breathed out a sigh of..relief?, maybe even pleasure? as he fondled your ass cheeks, rubbing in the cream with his cock leaky in his board shorts. you finally turn around, giving him a few of those perfect tits as you looking at with a sultry look in your eyes through your sunglasses. 'thank you, (name), but it's not really that sunny today', you say, giving him a coy smirk as he looks at the sky, which was mostly cloudy. fuck.

kenma, sakusa, levi, armin, tsukishima, kyoutani, aone, kageyama, asahi, akaashi

swim buddies

swim buddies!! they’ll dive into the water below you, getting a blurry peek of your pretty body through the chlorine. he’ll challenge you to all kinds of games, swimming races, who can hold their breath the longest, but his favourite game to play is chicken fighting. whenever someone brings it up, he’s always opting you to be his partner, bragging about how good you two are together. he’ll crouch under the water, a small smirk catching the corner of his lips as he feels your thighs wrap around his head. he loops his arms around them, using your hips to hold you up. god, he just wishes his face was the other way around, but this would have to do. he’ll hold onto you tightly as you attempt to knock the other girl off, giggling and swaying all over the place, after you almost slip off, he’ll grab your asscheeks to keep you in place. he hopes no one’s wearing goggles, because his cock is rock hard against his his shorts as he feels your squeeze your thighs around his head. eventually, you lose your balance and fall over, splashing into the water. he grabs you by your waist, pulling you back up much to your dismay. as you roll your eyes at him. ‘you always drop me!’, you complain, leaning your head against the brick ledge against the pool. he only chuckles bashfully, flicking your forehead teasingly. ‘not my fault you wiggle around too much’, he retorts, resting his hand down on the ledge behind you. he’s glad you can’t see his other hand beneath the water, palming his erection through his jeans whilst he reminisces the feeling of your asscheeks on his hands.

atsumu, matsukawa, eren, jean, oikawa, hinata, kuroo, tendou, connie

the sun tanners

the men who prefer to lay back in their sunchair, a pair of sunglasses over their eyes and the sun shining down on their stomachs. he'll have a pair of dark shades over his eyes, hiding his wandering eyes from anyone who was curious. he'll prop his knees up, resting a towel over them nonchalantly. then, he'll slowly slip a hand under the towel, under the elastic of his board shorts as he starts to toy with his cock. his eyes are glued on you, sitting on the edge of the pool with your feet dipped into the water. he could see the curve of your ass from here, aching to get a feel of it. he swore if he looked close enough, he could see your nipples becoming erect through the skimpy fabric which did a pathetic job of covering your tits. he breathes in shakily when you laugh at something the guy trying to chat you up says, making your chest jiggle seductively. he hisses, pressing his thumb against the head of his cock as it leaks with pre cum. it wasn't enough, seeing you like this now. he quickly used his other hand to pull his phone from his bag, doing a double take to check no one was behind him to witness the perverted act he was about to commit. he quickly opened the camera app, using his pointer and thumb to zoom in the camera as far in as he could. he lifts his phone up to his face, pretending to be scrolling through social media as he presses the white button repeatedly. capturing your sexy body in all different angles and poses, and you were oblivious to it. oblivious to the fact that he would shortly leave, examining his photography work with a small smirk on his face. you were too easy.

ushijima, erwin, sugawara, zeke, reiner, suna, osamu, iwaizumi

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velvet-paradox · 9 months

Text

Heartstrings (Part Three)

Heartstrings (Part Three) Pairing: Vessel x Female reader Length: Medium Warnings: NSFW, 18 + ONLY, reader discretion advised, there's some drug mentions, angst, Vessel hurts readers' feelings, he's caught between a rock and a hard place, some flashbacks, how Sleep slips into Vessel's life, mention of self harm and a reunion! Tagging: @synnersaint @megangovier20 @thesoundresoundsecho

ENJOY!!!

He couldn't remember whose idea it was to break into the city pool well after hours but you'd all hopped the iron fence, II had let you step on his back to get over the height of it. Trying to keep quiet was hard, you and the boys had gotten high an hour before which lead to you all splashing each other to cool down.

Someone else was there though.

Some girl that had caught Vessel's eye that spring had tagged along, he wasn't sure she'd get into the antics of maybe getting busted, but she joined just the same. Clinging to his arm while his besties floated or somersaulted beneath the chlorine.

He watched you float by as the girl rested her head on his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"Hmm? Nothing's wrong."

The girl grunted. "I know we haven't hung out a whole lot, Ves but I can tell when something is bothering someone and you sir, are a bundle of nerves."

Vessel sighed with a shrug, focusing on III dunking IV. "It's nothing really. Don't worry about it."

She didn't press any further, which he was grateful for because how do you express to someone you're going steady with that all you care about is floating several feet from you, fully dressed without a care in the world? You didn't belong to him but in a way you did and he touched the necklace as an afterthought.

"That thing is so gaudy." She laughed and Vessel jumped as if she were made of fire, touching it. "Where'd you get it?"

"Y/N; she found it."

"Y/N found it and you wear it? What does it mean?"

It means everything.

"Uh well," Vessel started, his mind still a bit on the fuzzy side. "We play a game with it. She wears it for three days and I have to do whatever she says and then it's my turn."

She quirked an eyebrow. "You do whatever she says? What if she told you to jump in front of a moving car?"

Vessel snickered. "I have."

"And you just did it?!"

"Well to be quite fair, I deserved it. I did dare her to lay down on a set of train tracks until we heard a whistle."

"Oh my God!"

"It's all for fun though."

"Wait-- so only you two play the game, not them?" She pointed to the three boys attempting to play chicken and failing miserably.

"No. Just us."

"Sounds childish." She shrugged and got up from the bench, lighting up a joint of her own.

Was it? You two had been playing so long it just flowed easily, just something you did like take a shot, curse when a car cut you off, growl when you stubbed a toe. It was natural. But as he sat there, dry as bone on the pool bench he was a little upset.

Not with you and not necessarily at her either but the way she'd said like. Like he shouldn't be having fun, indulging like he was too old for playground games, even if he did enjoy them.

"Hey sourpuss," you said, splashing his shoes with water as your crossed your arms over the stucco concrete of the pool siding. Wet and glistening and smiling. "You comin' in or what?" ….

III knocked on the bedroom door, red wisps of memories dissipated entirely once the lankier man peeked inside. "You up?"

Vessel rolled over, having apparently fallen asleep as the bright light from the window was now setting beautifully below the horizon. He pushed himself up, still holding onto the necklace.

"Uh yeah man, what's up?"

"You got yerself a phone call, mate."

Vessel made his way downstairs, the boys made themselves scarce while he padded over to the tipped over receiver. smoky yellow with faded number pads. "H-hello?"

"Hello yourself."

Vessel gripped the bottom of the phone, his heart beating in his ears as if he were underwater.

"Ves? You there?"

"Yeah. Yeah I'm uh I'm here. How are you? It's been awhile."

"I know," you apologized and Vessel couldn't help but coil the cord around his fingers. "It's been forever. I hope you're not mad I sent you the necklace."

"I'm not but-- wait. How do you get this number?"

"Ask II."

Jerk off, Vessel grumbled but stayed on the line. "I'm not surprised actually. I haven't held the necklace in so long, feels foreign but… familiar. I can't believe we wore that thing constantly."

"I know! We had some good times with it though. So uh… not to be pushy after all this time but-- would you be game?"

"What do you have in mind?" ….

"MARRRIED?! Y/N's getting fuckin' MARRIED?!" III freaked out, IV gasped and II didn't make a sound. "She can't. She can't marry some loser!"

"You don't know if he's a loser, III." Vessel grumbled, the blood was rushing and pooling in his head, clogging his ears and making him close his eyes to block out III's dramatics, with his fingers at his temples. He'd been laid up upside down for twenty minutes after your phone conversation. Vessel bit back tears at your excitement, squealing on your end with glee.

"Says you!" III exclaimed and stomped around the living room. His heart broke into fractions, little petals of his heart fell to his feet. Sleep tsked in the corner.

"You know good and God damn well brother, that she belongs with us. A falling out, sure, that can be mended but to marry off to someone she barely knows… I don't like it. Not one bit."

"By the sound of it you'd think it was you whose still in love with her."

The room fell insanely silent. All eyes were on Vessel when he cleared his throat.

"After all this time…"

"It's not that big of a deal, honestly."

"You shouldn't lie to them, my pretty little host," Sleep cooed and manifested right in front of Vessel's face, hanging there like a fly caught in a spiders' web. "You should tell them how badly you miss her, pine for her, that you've been waiting for her until the end of time. Y/N is your puzzle piece is she not?"

Vessel let out a shaky breath as the other guys chatted and made all kinds of accusations and scenarios. Maybe this was a cry for help, a plea, she was trapped maybe. That Stockholm Syndrome shit.

Something foul.

He may have told them you were engaged, someone had taken his place; that had been heartbreaking enough. What he didn't tell them was that you'd dared him to walk you down the isle, give you away, hand you off to some stranger.

Tears slipped out of his eyes and made tracks over his eyebrows and hairline as the boys continued to argue. Maybe he'd give in and fly out to see you, see for himself with his own blue eyes that you were in fact safe and in love and not grasping at straws for your past life.

Maybe. Maybe…

"Calm yourself now, Vessel. If you keep up that heartrate Y/N will be able to hear from the parking lot!" Sleep quipped in his ear, dangling over his shoulder like an afghan shawl on his grandmother's couch. Vessel did in fact let himself go, along with the other eepy's in tow, all just as excited to see you again. Three years is a very long time after all.

Three years of heartache and loneliness he'd turned into music, got those fragile pieces out of his nervous system, out on paper and murdered with ink. He thought about that journal entry when he'd caught you kissing IV, tear stained pen reminded him of too many things.

The accident.

Only it wasn't an accident. More like an incident you weren't meant to overhear and one that he horribly regretted.

….

"Take that ugly thing off."

"What?"

"That stupid necklace! You can't honestly tell me you think that thing looks good on you?"

Vessel frowned behind his homemade mask. It wasn't Tommy Hewitt levels of grotesque or made of human skin but he was experimenting with becoming more anonymous lately. You'd gotten him into another fight of sorts, the one left a gnarly scar on his cheek that made him more self-conscious than he had been before. Even if you did claim he would be more devil-may-care that way if he chose to show his face.

Red flags flew up and landed at his feet at her words. She was being nasty and for no good reason.

"I don't see the problem with it. Or why you have a problem with it." In the back of his house he'd followed her outside when you showed up, happy and full of spirit. Vessel remembered it had just began to rain and you had shook off your head and kicked away your boots.

She had a problem with you and he couldn't understand why.

"Because you blind idiot! She's in love with you and you wearing that God awful necklace every three fucking days isn't helping and it's driving me nuts!" She shouted.

Vessel didn't know what to say.

He'd never been yelled at like that before especially by a girlfriend!

"I'm going to say this very clearly now, alright?" She motioned with her hands, rearing on Vessel in the back garden like she was reprimanding some rotten child. "What means more to you? Me or some silly little necklace Y/N found messing around in dirt? Hmmm? You're an adult now Vessel, a man. A grown man playing foolish games with a foolish girl with a foolish promise. Soulmates don't exist, Vessel. Fate isn't real."

Vessel took his time, holding the beads and coins in his painted hands, memories, all fond and full of fun and fancy. "It's real to us."

"Us? You and Y/N… why are you wasting my time? If you love her so damn much why aren't with her instead?"

"I'm not… I'm not wasting time. I like you."

"But you love her."

"That's not that same thing and you know it."

"Do I, Vessel? What I do know is this," She stood toe to toe with him then, soft hands on his shoulders that felt like a fire poker in a blacksmiths' cool bucket. "Either you tell me and show me how much I mean to you and take that dirty thing off or you go on and tell her you want to be with her and let me go. I can't sit by here another day knowing your heart only belongs to her."

Vessel didn't like this. At all. Commitment, ultimatums, hard lines drawn in the sand. It made him nervous, edgy, uncomfortable.

Yet on the one hand he knew what she was saying. That's why she didn't like you. You were filling the position she had wanted. So Vessel clutched the necklace, determined not to hurt or maim either one of you with his action of pulling the coins over his head. She smiled and watched as he held it in his hands. He'd just put it right back on once she'd left anyway.

No harm no foul, right?

Only it was the worst thing he could've done in that moment. Save for what he told her next.

"There. See? It doesn't mean anything, just some thing lost in the dirt. "

"Is that true?"

Vessel's face dropped, clutching the thing in his hands and with a grimace turned to face you behind him at the back door.

"Y/N-- it's not what it looks like."

"Vessel…"

"It means nothing to you?" You asked, your voice a little watery as you stepped down into the garden, your eyes only on him. "Was it all just a game then? None of this is real? Are you even my friend?"

This was certainly real as he could feel his heart began to scramble and throb out of his chest, up his throat and threatened to lurch out of his mouth at any given second. He could see you cry, muffled words and actions, your hands up in the air in anger he'd never felt the wrath of. You were shouting at him, even louder than his girlfriend had been moments ago. There were other dark figures filling the space behind you as you cried.

Only when you'd snatched the necklace from his hands, did he suddenly come back to life.

"It's a mistake I'm sorry I'm sorry--"

"This means nothing now Vessel! You ruined it," you pointed, gripping it so tight he was scared you might break skin. You righted yourself, not bothering to wipe your wet face, lashes full of dewy tears as you spat on the ground with a shiver and sniffle. Your eyes were like lava, molten and insanely hot with purpose. "You ruined it. If this means nothing to you, none of it at all… then neither does this."

You could hear a pin drop.

A shattered mirror; broken glass on a stone floor.

Pain.

Vessel watched you grab both sides of the necklace and tear in two. Beads and coins fell to the wet ground. He couldn't believe it. He didn't mean to… but it was too damn late.

You double fisted what was left and before you left his house for the last time, crying and rushing past your friends, even as they called after you, you had said the one thing he'd replayed over and over in his mind for the last three years.

"Game. Over."

He kicked everyone out after that, needing to be alone was an understatement. He broke plates and windows, screamed out in agony for the tenth time, the thought of the police being called was fleeting. And honestly, he'd probably want them to take him. He'd held a shard of what was left of his bathroom mirror to the tender side of his wrist. Pushing it in just enough to let his nervous system alarm him. All he saw was red.

Viscous red.

"You'll regret that, you know?" A raspy voice sang out in the mess that was left of his bathroom, bloody knuckles spilled over black paint, under his nails as he gripped the shard tighter. Had someone broken in while he tore his house apart? An intruder? A vagrant? Vessel looked around but came up empty.

"What do you want?" Vessel asked behind the shower curtain, scared of what might greet him on the other side.

"I'm here to help, silly. You poor thing tsk tsk tsk, such anguish you're in. What peril, one wrong move and you'll be on the other side with no way to fix what it ahead of you."

Vessel stood up, back to the ugly green tiles of his shower. sticking out the glass the other way now. "What are you-- what are you saying?"

"I can help you," the raspy voice swirled and sounded like it was coming at him from every angle possible. Above, below, in both ears and out of his own throat as if he were talking out loud to himself. Even though his voice was nowhere near what he was hearing. "I am in need of a new host and you my boy, absolutely reek of perfection."

"Go away. Whoever you are."

"Are you sure, boy?"

Vessel fell over, slashing at the air when a blood red cat with six black eyes perched at the top of his shower curtain, swaying its' tail and tilting its' head at him. "Ah! What the fuck?!"

" 'ello Vessel."

"Ho-ow do you know me?"

"I've known you a long time my boy, you just didn't need me like you need me right now," the red cat disappeared and reappeared at his feet, hugging Vessel's legs, looking up with blinking black eyes. "Like I've said; I can help you. All you need to do is ask?"

"Ask? Ask what?"

"I am in need of a host, you believe in me and everything and I do mean everything you've desired will be yours. I know you've lost a friend, a true, honest and loyal friend this night. Pity."

"I can't lose her, please. If you'll bring her back to me I'll do whatever the fuck you want."

"Now now, no need to be vulgar, Vessel." The red cat leapt and floated up to Vessel's eye level, eyes blinking one at time before it outstretch its' paws to his forehead, or where his forehead would be behind his handmade mask. Inky eyes merging into one as he gave in, without question. "It's quite simple really. Become my host. Take me in, swallow me whole and accept what is given so freely."

"And in return?"

"You do as I say."

"And for me?"

The cats' grin was evil, sinister even, all fangs and obtusely sharp and dripping with desire. "I will keep a very close on Y/N, she'll be protected but only if you succumb to me. Be my host, be my arms and legs darling boy," the cat said its' name, an ancient deity of desire, once a pillar of hope and granted longing. "Become you're true form; become my vessel, Vessel." ….

"Think she looks the same?"

"Will we recognize her?"

"Will she recognize us?"

"Of course she will! You're pretty hard to miss all the way up there!" II jeered up at III, bags in hand as they made their way through the bustling airport. They got looks, that was to be expected with their faces concealed with balaclava's. Security would have a field day and detain them rather quickly if they wore their full gear.

"Knock it off or I'll make you even shorter, punk." III countered and made II trip.

A feral squeal erupted throughout the airport, everyone looked around, the crowd of people parted as if this were some choreographed event or some dance mob scenario because as the people began to part and step aside, grab their loved ones, their children, their service dogs… there you stood at the end of the airport.

You were jumping and waving your arms around frantically, motioning for them to come closer, to hurry up that you might combust.

"She looks so happy." Vessel mumbled nervously the closer they got to you, Sleep appeared on top of his head, dangling his little paws over Vessel's forehead.

"She's about to be a lot happier, my boy."

You grabbed II and hauled him into a giant hug, somehow getting him up off his feet for a millisecond, IV did manage to pick you up after cupping your face and patting your head. III swung you around like a ragdoll, all eyes wet with feelings and lost sands of time.

"There you are." You said once III set you down, stepping over a downed duffel bag and marched right up to Vessel, excited and thrilled to see him wearing the necklace, the trinket of years ago swaying against his chest.

You smelled the same, God you looked good and healthy. Your arms locked around his shoulders, raising yourself up on to your tip toes. You hugged him tighter until he returned the same generous embrace.

"I missed you so much." You admitted and that made Vessel shudder and heat through like an oven. "I have so much to tell you."

"I missed you too." Vessel whispered back and as he pulled away he was uncertain by the watery look in your eyes. He thought they were glossy from happiness but the way you sniffled, took his hand, pointing towards the open doors to the outside world beyond, he wasn't so sure.

#vessel imagine #sleep token imagine #vessel x reader #vessel x female reader #vessel fanfic #vessel fan fic #vessel fanfiction #sleep token fic #sleep token fanfic #sleep token fanfiction

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