#cishet standard of being queer & trans

[devilfruitdyke]

the she/theys vs he/theys and wlw vs mlm posts are symptoms of a larger problem within the queer community 👍

#1. lack of consciousness of beauty standards 2. no grasp of intersectionality 3. focus on online discourse and not queer theory #'discourse' used very literally there. this is not a sick dunk on Minors These Days #anyway we as lgbtq people are very focused on ourselves as oppressed that we dont realize how we are perpetuating/internalizing... #... oppressive beliefs #see how all 'g ender envy' is almost exclusively skinny *white* conventionally attractive cis people #i saw someone say something like 'dont tag as gender envy be yr own person' the other day #and that really opened my eyes ? #we can be so caught up in the politics of being trans (usually as yr only minority group) #that it basically turns into 'skinny white cis men are the ideal of manhood dont ask me why though idk' #its deeply internalized #same goes with the 2 posts i mentioned #ps. i KNOW gender envy is what you personally find enviable and you shouldnt forced to change yr attraction for political reasons #but its the same shit that cishet beauty standards have been for centuries #very similar to how the only models in magazines are skinny white cis women #they dont say that fat people/trans women/woc arent worth their pages. its implied. #we just need to think about what we're implying every day as a community. #also i have a personal thing against gender envy culture because you guys forced me to see FUCKING V OMITBOYX EVERY DAY IN LIKE 2020 #/JOKE I SWAER. unless i get told one more time that im not really trans because i dont want short hair over my eyes. then i snap #<3

[good-jewish-omens]

*putting ur head in a nutcracker* Remember what it was like to be a kid? Hey trans people, remember what it was like to be a kid and have adults online talk to us in the way they were? Remember ppl in their 20s and 30s talking down on us? And calling us names? And being exclusionary? And wanting us to not be around them and telling us that we weren't activists and never would be because we were behind a keyboard? Remember when transsexuals and transvestites were telling us that us saying those words were slurs were reactionary as fuck when the nomenclature for trans people started to shift to transgender? Remember those people calling themselves Elders? Remember when they had no sympathies for us when those words were hurled at us as Children? Remember when they refused to calmly engage with us and acknowledge that they were just like us at that age? Remember when they told us that they had to go through it and we were ungrateful for how progressive things were? Remember how those people are still calling themselves Elders? Remember how they created a division between generations because we were scared and afraid and they refused to have empathy for their own childhood? Remember how they forgot what it was like to be us? Remember how they refused change around neopronouns, told us that if we used them that we were actively hurting older trans people, but now they act like they were with us the entire time?

You might embrace the words we recognized as slurs now as a part of your identity but don't you dare pretend that you weren't like the kids of today. You might actively identify as transsexual or as a transvestite (as do I bitch!) but that doesn't mean you weren't a little shithead too. And at the end of that all, the community fucking changed. And that's a fucking good thing.

But sure, put on your "protect trans kids" beanie.

#i am angry at fellow adults okay!!! you're not being excluded!!!!!! from any space!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #for being an adult!!!!!! by children!!!!! who are asking for us to make sure we can sit down next to them!!!! and make them feel safe!!!! #because the cishet adults are making them feel unsafe!!!!!!! #so what if they have standards that aren't realistic just talk to them!!!!!!!!!! #kids change their mind!!!! teenagers change their mind!!!!!!!!! and they love us but trans adults act like we hate them!!!!!!!!!! #WHILE WEARING “PROTECT TRANS KIDS” MERCH FROM THE MOTHERFUCKIN HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN #this is BITTER and ANGRY and I MIGHT DELETE IT but I'M SICK OF IT #so sick of it #acting like trans kids are the ones causing their own oppression because they've got complicated feelings around the word queer #they'll grow out of it #i did #you will grow out of hating them #but grow out of it NOW #or they will DIE

[brothersonahotelbed]

being trans but not out to anyone at school is so fun sometimes because it's like haha YES i AM a girl >:) ...... a girl with a SECRET!!!.. and the best thing is that no one will ever know enough to ask me if i go by different pronouns because they're all well-intentioned (albeit ignorant) cishets so i'm pretty safe here with my little secrets and my secret little tumblr where i can call myself a faggot and all my mutuals will reblog in support. life is beautiful

#loquitur #been falling in love with anonymity lately... i dont tell my acquaintances at school SHIT about myself and it's like im playing a game #like hide and seek except if they find you you'll have to spend about 10 years explaining yourself to them and trying to live up to the #cishet standard of being queer & trans #HAHA YESS I CAN EXIST AS MYSELF IN THE PRESENCE OF OTHER PEOPLE AND STILL MAINTAIN PRIVACY + AN UNDERSTANDING OF MYSELF

[rowdylupegang]

"#ALSO friendly reminder that the mods are still intentionally targeting trans people on the site" i'd be grateful if you could expand on this? ik there's a shitty player that was chain silenced then unchained silenced by tnt even though they're a transphobic ass. is that what you mean? same person has pretended to be trans just to get someone reported

Did I... not answer this? I thought I did. When was this even sent? Is time real?

Anyway basically trans people were getting silenced left and right immediately on the spot for mentioning things like HRT or top surgery (casually mentioning and not going into specifics btw ) while one person was posting actual violent descriptions of what they think trans people's genitals look like (I won't go into detail) and racial slurs in response to the annoyed trans people and their posts weren't taken down for hours. I strongly suspect the mods were waiting for something they could silence the trans people for instead. The person who was saying slurs and making graphic gore descriptions claimed to be a mod herself and with how long it took for the mods to take the board down... yeah I'm a little worried she wasn't lying about it.

Also that one board about an unwanted pregnancy that turned into a pro choice/life debate and was still up for several hours despite the content being a "hot button topic" they claim is banned. Kinda seems like topics that cause heated debates are only actually banned when a queer person is involved.

Also that time a bunch of people on the pound chat were talking about how trans people shouldn't be allowed to talk about being trans because "think of the children! It will corrupt the children!" (No I'm not kidding and I wish I got more than one screenshot from that) and none of those users got silenced or anything despite peddling far right talking points about trans people being groomers as if that's good and normal.

Very intrigued by whatever you're talking about cause it sounds wild. Some cis person can get away with pretending to be trans to report someone when actual trans people will sit there helpless against a wave of transphobia because the mods won't help us because they also hate us?? Come on XD how is this reality.

So the double standard of who can discuss what still absolutely exists. If people can ANGRILY DEBATE abortions on the site for several hours it seems a bit silly trans people get silenced for even mentioning HRT. As in just saying "I start HRT soon." got these people silenced.

( I just KNOW there's gonna be a bunch of "oh it's only reasonable those topics are still banned uwu they really aren't appropriate for kids" bootlicker assholes in the replies or whatever so let me just say: You're not new. That argument existed when saying any LGBTQ terms resulted in a ban. But go ahead and tell me how people can have an angry aggressive abortion debate, talk about dying family/friends, mention non trans related surgeries, and pregnancy in general and THAT'S fine but god forbid a trans person mention HRT in passing without going into detail about it (unlike cis people describing the above). Please explain how it's Fine Actually young trans kids can see how much full grown adults hate them or don't believe them while any adults who would validate and protect them are silenced and stomped out. It'll be good for a laugh.)

#royal lupe yips #if you're not looking at the topics cis people can get away with now and going 'uh... but... trans people can't even briefly mention X?' #then please start. Don't do what I used to do and go 'well what the others are doing should Also Be Banned' ignore that right now. #Ignore whether other people are talking about worse stuff or not. Start questioning the double standard instead. #it doesn't fucking matter if the other convos SHOULD be happening. They ARE happening and there's a clear imbalance in what's allowed. #AGAIN. CAUSE THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE. #THE DOUBLE STANDARD HAS ALWAYS EXISTED #'don't discuss being queer or relationships' #looks over at the cishets talking about their relationships with zero backlash so the relationships thing only applies to queer people huh

[ftmtftm]

I've been scrolling through your blog, and I saw your post about discussing the racialized nature of gender. As someone who has several transmasc POC friends, and someone who's a nonbinary POC themself, I wanted to give my 2 cents.

It's important to understand that "woman" in the "man vs woman" gender binary is a colonialist, white supremacist construct, especially in Western countries where you are the numerical minority. My trans friends aren't on T, they haven't gotten top surgery, we are all quite young. But they all have numerous stories about being addressed as "sir" which brings them euphoria but as one person said, while we were making fun of the amount of white people in our club, "Due to my race and skin color, I get masculinized."

And again I'd like to emphasize, that since we're young, none of us really have medically transitioned due to financial and familial barriers. Their hair is long, our binders we definitely have notable chests, and even if they dress masculine, it's notable that no one in our communities would ever gender us properly. It's often white people calling them "sir." Again, I think this reflects how gender performances in mainstream queer communities are deeply White. Like, trans boys talk about having haircuts, but only one of my friends has that wavier, more manageable hair that will help them pass. When you've got curly/kinky hair, the standards are different. For a white person, what's the difference between a "girl" Afro and a boy "Afro"? White cis people have a harder time identifying us, and literally talk to any black girl, and they'll tell you about being mocked, dehumanized, and called "manly".

I don't have much else to say. These are just my personal experiences. But if you want to be an ally to POC in the queer community, this is why it's so fucking important to bring in colonialism/imperialism/white supremacy into discussions of queer liberation. My biggest gripe with ignorant white queers is when they ignore their white privilege, and act like "cishets" (AKA the patriarchal system regulating sexuality and gender) is the only enemy. Because cishet POC deal with plenty of shit with being infantilized, masculinized, feminized, seen as brutish & dangerous, the list goes on. Doberbutts had a post saying, "Believe me, your family's going to care more about me being black than my queerness." towards his white partners. Acknowledging and creating a framework that centers these intersections of queerness and race into your beliefs is true allyship. This is why if you're not anti-imperialist, anti-capitalist, ACAB...I do not think you care for queer liberation. None of us are free until all of us are free.

Please don't view this post as an attack. But this is my perspective, and I thought you'd be receptive to me sharing my lived experiences.

Oh I absolutely don't view this ask as an attack, and I really appreciate you bringing these things up because you're right! Like, just very plainly: You are right and your and your friends lived experiences are extremely important to the conversation on the racialized aspects of gender.

It gets me thinking about where Misogynoir and the social White Fear of Black manhood intersect for Black trans men in particular. Because Black women and Women of Color in general are masculinized by White gender standards and the ways in which Black trans masculine people are gendered in alignment with their identity is absolutely not always done with gender affirming intent. In fact, it's often actually done with racist intent or is fueled by racist bias when it's coming from White people or even from non-Black POC.

That's kind of restating things you've said but differently, it's just such a topic worth highlighting explicitly since it's extremely relevant to the conversation that's been happening about Male Privilege here the last few days.

I do think I know exactly what @doberbutts post you're talking about and yeah. It's just truth. It's something Black queer people have been talking about for ages in both theory and in pop culture (my mind immediately goes to Kevin Abstract and "American Boyfriend") where Black queer/trans identity is both materially different from (neutral) and is treated differently from (negative) White queer/trans identity in multitudes of ways and those differences are worth sharing and exploring and talking about.

Genuinely, thank you for sharing! I try really hard not to lead these kinds of conversations outside of explicitly referencing back to non-White theorists because I don't particularly feel like it's my place to do so, but I will always provide a platform for them because they're extremely important conversations to be had.

#asks #anon #racialized gender #male privilege #transandrophobia

[uncanny-tranny]

Other people have discussed this more eloquently, but the thing people don't always seem to get about "passing" (think "cis passing" or "straight passing", for instance) is that the concept of "passing" relies on more than just appearance.

Take me for instance, where I do pass as a man, but I have never (and will never) pass as a cishet man. People know I am queer, even if they don't see that I am a trans queer man. Passing is more than wearing certain things or saying certain things. My mannerisms are queer, my speech is queer, my inflection is queer, my stance is queer. People pick up on that. There's nothing wrong with me being seen as queer, but I'm still treated like a queer man, for better and worse. It seems that people forget that, you know?

My point is that passing is very conplex, nuanced, and individual. I use myself as an example, but that by no means indicates that I have a standard experience. I've noticed, however, that many people have over-generalized these conversations, and I think that doesn't do us - as a community - a service.

#lesbian #gay #bi #bisexual #trans #transgender #queer #lgbt #lgbtq #that's why the whole 'bi people ALWAYS pass as straight' and all that doesn't make sense... #...because even the cis bi people i know still are noticably queer. even if you don't know HOW they are queer you can pick up on it #i don't contend that i pass as cis in most *social* settings but i also don't pass as not queer #and there are PLENTY of instances where i literally CANNOT pass as cis OR het #such as going to doctors/voting/using banks/getting my testosterone/flying and having a passport #interactions with police/going through college and rooming/getting an apartment/applying for jobs and keeping a job #i cannot pass as anything other than a trans male and all the things that may arise from that - good AND bad #so my experiences are not one of always passing and that's something i have noticed a lot even from other trans people who regularly pass #this isn't trying to be a doomer or anything - i'm trying to be realistic about my experiences and some other experiences i have noticed #ftm #mtf #nonbinary

[smallblueblondie]

Terfs really think that demanding protection for gnc cis girls while also calling for murder of trans men,,, Does something.

Like the line between gnc cis and trans is not a straight clean cut line, and you will very rarely if ever be able to tell exactly where a visibly queer/gnc person falls at a first glance. There's so much gray area.

There's cis women who use he/him and cis men who call themselves "girl" names. There's self ID-ing cis drag queens who use different pronouns based on their persona and butches who call themselves daddy and sir. There's people who you'd think are clearly nonbinary because of how they present and describe their gender but who just don't ID that way. There's every shade of grey imaginable between cis gnc and trans.

So where do they draw the line? What is acceptable gender nonconformity and what makes you an evil trans infiltrator? Is it changing your pronouns? Your name? Self ID-ing as trans? Dressing """too""" gnc? Visibly not passing as your AGAB anymore? Is it not adhering to the suffocating white supremacist beauty standard? Being fat or disabled or black?

Do cis women who look like trans men or nonbinary people at a first glance deserve all the physical, emotional, and sometimes even sexual violence that they throw at trans people? What about cis men who look like trans women or nonbinary people?

When do gnc queers go from supposedly being backbones of the community that we need to protect, to evil freaks that need to be beaten and raped and murdered the same way cishet homophobes want all queer people treated, cis gay terfs included?

GNC cis queers absolutely deserve better, but terfs are complete fucking hypocrites when they imply that they want to protect gnc cis queers and then call a cis woman a tranny for having a big nose.

I could go on about terf hypocrisy (just like how they're supposedly champions for sexual assault victims who also regularly wish for trans people to be correctively raped) but I'll keep this post to one point for now. It's just something I noticed that makes me mad but honestly that's on me for ever expecting terfs to make any kind of fuckin sense.

#trans rights are human rights #trans #transgender pride #fuck terfs #terfs dni #gnc #queer #queer pride #intersectional feminism #trans rights #genderqueer #trans pride #transphobia #transphobia tw #protect trans kids #protect trans rights #transgender

[aromantic-diaries]

In regards to this stupid aromantic cishet men discourse. Why does it matter that they're straight? Like, when people want to demonize especially straight men, do they think gay men can't be manipulative and abusive? Or trans men? Are they the pureness in person and can never harm anyone? And why does gender matter. Do they think women can't be sex obsessed or use people? I don't understand why they're all treated differently. Why are aromantic allosexual people sorted into categories. Why do people think aro cishet men are evil but I never even heard of aro cishet women being treated like this. I hate this.

Also not saying that cishet aro men are bad and everything, just used the stereotypes and bigotry that's used against them. Cishet aro men are awesome.

I think it's very simple. It has to do with the idea that cishet men are the enemy and therefore have nothing in common with queer people and any cishet man who even comes near us will only do so with ill intent. Combine that with the debate around whether or not aromantic people belong in the community and we have ourselves a new boogeyman. A lot of people, queer or not, really like to disregard the struggles of aromantic people and maintain the idea that sexual attraction without romance is always immoral and malicious so when it comes to cishet aromantic men, it leads to the assumption that they must be predatory misogynistic creeps.

Then again I think that regardless of whether or not we think cishet aro men are queer, we should not be excluding anybody. You really can't split society into Queer and Cishet because that inevitably leads to people who are stuck outside of these categories. Not just aromantics and asexuals who are otherwise straight, but also people who are closeted because it's simply not safe for them to come out, people who are still questioning, and anyone who is 100% cisgender, straight and allo but still doesn't fit the heteronormative standards for whatever reason. Not to mention the fact that viewing cishets as the enemy that we have nothing in common with doesn't get us anywhere. Labels aside we are all people and putting eachother into boxes does not fix a damn thing. In an ideal world there would be no need for categorizing people as either queer or cishet cause we would all just be seen as people who may have a plethora of differences but are people regardless.

And yeah, your point about how any type of person regardless of gender or sexuality can be abusive or manipulative is absolutely correct. We need to remember that queerness is in no way a moral high ground, how good of a person you are is defined by your actions and not your labels

#anon #mail time

[straydaddy]

Have u ever seen what aggression some queer femmes have towards butches, transmascs and trans men for expressing our pain about imposed, forced-on femininity?

I'm not invalidating your empowerment in reclaiming your own femininity. I myself have done that too btw, I just have intense pain from a lifetime of expectations to be round-edged, babyfaced and docile by cishet men and how they always bitch and whine about ppl like me existing and becoming "unfuckable" to them.

I love dangerous, wild femininity. I wear femininity like an elegant social armor. It's my deadly venom, it's my fangs and it's my claws. It's the claws of Lilith pushed under the surface, the rage of the drowned and forbidden.

To me this reclaimed femininity is defined by my own terms, not at odds with my gender-transgressiveness.

Why is femininity like armor to me?

Because for anyone who isn't a conventionally attractive cishet man, masculinity doesn't protect us at all. It makes people see us as clumsy, vulnerable and pathethic, while at the same time perverted and threatening. Masculinity is really soft and vulnerable for me to express bcs I'm transmasc, - it's where I invite the scorn of society for breaking out of line as a "woman". It's where I lose the protection and emotional support of the cisnormatively-tradfemme club.

People don't want to be cruel to me if I'm beautiful. Bcs my cruelty back, if I am beautiful, in the feminine elegant sense, will hurt and humiliate worse. I will shred you to pieces and wipe the floor with them.

That's the power of femininity, to dominate and to avoid being dominated, when you're assumed or expected to be a cis woman. People seen as queer / gender-transgressive women are without that protective cover. It's scary as hell.

I'm also intensely aware that I can't meet a certain standard of femininity even if I try, that femme cis women always have the ability to stab me with that painful, othering humiliation of "too clumsy and undesirable, so therefore you're hardly a person and I don't need to have any regard for your emotions or personhood".

Masculinity, for me, is a territory of softness and self-love. It's so, so scary to be masculine because I am without cover, - and in a patriarchal world masculinity is seen as inherently perverted and sexually aggressive, too. The more multiply marginalized an man is, the deadlier that assumption is.

Masculinity, to me, is soft and loving, but hiding under the fear of being seen as an emotionless threatening meatwall. It's not about superiority to femininity bcs as masculine, I actually feel softer, without my armor.

Transmasc people haven't seen a day of navigating masculinity the same as cis men have. For cis men, masculinity is imposed on them and expected of them, - whereas femininity is what invites the scorn and policing from others. For cis men, masculinity can be the social armor.

For transmascs it's the contrary because our masculinity is seen as a transgression against the patriarchy that doesn't see us as men at all. Our experiences are different from those of cis men and saying that isn't invalidating of us being men. Bcs trans people don't need cis people's "model" or "permission" to be who we are.

#transmasculinity #transandromisia #transandrophobia #anti-transmasculinity #butchphobia #lbgtqa

[miel-deerling]

unpopular opinions about the tumblr queer community

the Tumblr Queer Community is full of white supremacy, misconceptions, misogyny, and toxic masculinity. trans beauty standards are full of skinny white people who lean heavily towards trans women being feminine and trans men being masculine. It’s okay for trans people to lean heavily towards a certain gender presentation, be skinny, and/or be white. However, for it to be a beauty standard is not only exclusionary of POC but also towards those who present in gender nonconforming ways and/or those with different body types. As a feminine trans man of color who isn’t considered skinny, this needs to stop.

Gender may be fluid, but sexuality is not. Not in the same way. You can’t make up sexualities because you don’t want to identify with labels provided. It’s okay to not be into labels, but it’s not okay to create self-contradicting identity-erasing ones because you don’t want to identify yourself with one of the many sexualities that already exist. It lowkey gives lesbophobia in a lot of cases. Speaking of which, lesbian is not an umbrella term, Saphhic is. If you’re a bi person calling yourself a lesbian, relearn what lesbian means. You’re not a lesbian because you have woman-leaning attraction but are attracted to a man every once in a while, you’re sapphic.

Ace people and lesbians are not enemies, in fact a lot of the ace people I meet ARE lesbians

Ya’ll should be nicer to femme lesbians

In general, queer women should be praised just as much for embracing femininity as queer men. The tumblr queer community doesn’t care about lesbians unless they’re masc in any way.

Stop pushing masculinity onto queer women who do not feel comfortable with it. You’re not breaking gender roles, you’re just playing into them and cishet ideals of how queer women should present themselves.

#queer community #queer #transgender #sapphic #lesbian #acespec #gender nonconforming #bi #gay

[blushedfemme]

could you give some words of encouragement for a femme who isn’t really feeling femme? I know that all femmes are different but I feel I don’t look it, and it’s making me question whether I’m femme at all

(Sorry about the excessive amount of words, hope you’re well)

-a fellow femme

firstly, giving you a big femme hug 🫂💞💕💓

this ask feels so serendipitous because i’ve been having some big thoughts about this lately, about what it means to “feel” femme and how that relates to “presenting” femme. i find that i feel the most femme when i’m doing things like making space for a friend to vent, making art for someone, bringing baked goods to an elderly neighbor, appreciating the beauty in something unusual, giving someone a reassuring touch or a hug, talking deeply with people and hearing their stories and sharing mine, all of these make me feel like myself and feel femme. how i look when i’m doing these things is of no consequence, really.

my hot take is that the connection between butch and masculinity does not translate to the connection between femme and femininity. i do love being feminine, but it’s complex because my femininity does not exist in a vacuum, and there are a lot of aspects of femininity that feel alienating to me, that i disagree with, or that i personally can’t access. and i’d like to point out too that femininity as a social construct has its roots in whiteness and white supremacy, as it mostly came about in white western european racist ideology regarding the superiority of white people being tied to the “difference between the sexes,” creating this beauty standard and category of ‘feminine’ that is only accessible to white women (and as beauty standards have evolved) now only thin white women. as a thin white person usually perceived and treated as a cishet woman, my femininity is recognized and reinforced by society and i’m rewarded for it, in a way that i do not want. my femininity is inextricable from privilege, yet it is also inextricable from my erasure.

this is why i strive to be an accomplice to dismantling that link between femininity and whiteness, between femininity and thinness, between femininity and cishet-ness. i learn from and am inspired by femininities of color, Black femininity, fat femininity, trans femininity, all forms of subversive femininity, inventive and alternative femininity. to me this is also part of being femme. my innate femininity is very personal to me, which makes me less inclined to present feminine in public, because people don’t see it the way i want it to be seen. when i present hyperfemme, i get treated differently, i get talked down to, and i get a LOT of weird attention from random cishet men. i really only enjoy being feminine around my butch, femme, queer and trans friends. the rest of the time i prefer to present more visibly queer and androgynous, or i prefer to avoid being perceived at all. and all of this and i haven’t even touched on the energy and maintenance required to present hyperfemme!!! it’s exhausting! it’s fucking expensive!! it’s simply not accessible to me all the time, and to many folks it may not be accessible, period. and this doesn’t make us any less femme. 🥰

i highly highly recommend any writing by leah lakshmi piepzna-samarasinha about femme-ness because that’s where a lot of my understanding of femme comes from and it helps a lot to disconnect from “looking femme” as a meaningful basis of femme identity. sorry this turned into more of an essay than words of encouragement!! 😅 but i hope it was encouraging all the same. i have so much love for all femmes everywhere especially those of us who struggle with feeling valid in our femme identity. we’re doing the thing, loves. we’re so fucking femme 🧡💖💓💝

#clarke answers #ask a femme #femme identity #femme lesbian #sfw post #unsexy post #long post

[that-cunning-witch]

I think something people need to understand is when we talk about an ancient culture or deity with a queer context, we are often not holding those topics and beings to the same standards we hold today.

Whenever someone comments on the queer history of Ancient Greece (for example), there's always at least one person who says, "well the Ancient Greeks weren't the best people" often referring to pedophilia or sexism, and therefore we shouldn't be talking about these queer moments. Because apparently, if we discuss them in any positive light, we are also accepting of the rampant pedophilia and sexism of the culture at that time.

Do you see what this creates?

If we can't talk about these queer moments in ancient history in a positive light, we must only be able to either talk about them in a negative light or just not talk about them at all. In other words, either paint queer history as a bad thing or just not mention it at all, as though it never existed.

Do you see the problem here?

This isn't to say that we shouldn't talk about the inherent problematic nature of queer culture back then. Yes, Ancient Greece had homosexual relationships, but they were typically between two men in an obvious power dynamic, aka an older man and a younger boy. A homosexual relationship between two men of similar age wasn't as common as we would like to think.

But to say we should discard or discredit all of ancient queer history because of these issues is just blasphemous. It is actually powerful to discuss these topics in a positive light while acknowledging the problems in modern time.

In our time, we have the ability to hold these discussions. These opinions. To be able to say "I'm happy there was trans representation in the Dionysian cults" and "I don't like how during Bacchic frenzies rape was the norm" in the same breath is powerful.

We need to show the world that we have existed since the beginning of time. We need to give a middle finger to every fucking person who tries to take our history and cleanse it for the palettes of the average cishet population.

But to try and sterilize the reality of queer history or, worse, ignore it all together in fear of being lumped in with the history that clearly is not okay, is what the other side wants. They want you to be in fear of queer history. They want you to stop talking about it.

Don't let them erase queer history.

#witchcraft #witch #witchblr #magic #hellenic polytheism #helpol #polytheism #history #queer #queer history #ancient greece #i've been seeing comments on my aphrodite post trying to discredit it all bc of ancient greece's problematic history #that's not the win you think it is babes #one can acknowledge aphrodite's trans beginnings and ancient greece's transphobia #both coexisted back then so they can coexist today when talking about the history of it #these people want queer history to be erased #don't let them erase it #lgbtq #trans #gay

[ftmtftm]

as a straight trans man I'd like to add to the discussion surrounding sexuality and being "accepted" as trans - straight trans men such as myself do still get painted as predatory. we're subjected to the ideas of the "predatory lesbian" trope, and then amplified by the fact that we're "just straight men preying on innocent women". the transandrophobia presents differently, but is definitely still there - and it fucking sucks to see other trans guys perpetuate homophobia and take out their internalized transphobia on gay trans dudes. especially if you're non-passing or take pride in your trans identity: we get shunned from both queer communities ("you're just a straight man trying to take up queer resources") or ("at least if you were bi I'd feel safer around you"), but in cishet society we face large amounts of lesbophobic assumptions about our sexuality and gender presentation, as well as the garden variety transandrophobia. transhet men also, even by the most accepting queer people, are often pressured toward heteronormativity in our relationships and into being queer in an "acceptable" way even though they do not apply those standards to other queer people. please do not fall into the trap of thinking that gay trans men are the ones who suffer most from transandrophobia, as I've seen just as many gay trans men as straight try to deny its existence. while I know you mean no harm by it, please don't create the same sort of binary axis of "we have it worse" while trying to destroy that same sort of binary wrt transandrophobia and transmisogyny. we're on the same side here. this post isn't meant to shame you or be a callout of some sort, just a friendly reminder :)

Oh absolutely!!!! I'm sorry my post missed the nuances of your experiences, my goal with it was more to say "I understand why people might see the flawed logic for that argument with straight trans guys, but it's completely not applicable when you try to interact with it outside of heterosexuality and I can speak to that directly"! It was definitely not to say that straight trans men aren't also often treated as predatory or in transandrophobic ways if that makes sense? Basically I was just acknowledging the line of logic and saying "This is flawed and here's one of the way I directly know it is flawed"!

I apologize for not being clear enough with that!! I definitely don't think gay trans guys suffer the most though, we're brothers in this, we've gotta be there for each other!

Thank you for sharing your experiences though! They're vitally important to talk about and good for everyone to remember! Especially because y'all really do experience brunt of lesbophobic transandrophobia and also a lot of ostricization from the broader queer community!! I don't think people realize that even though (false) safety can be found in straight trans men's assimilation, that doesn't mean they necessarily want it or even truly benefit from it because of the lack of community it can provide.

#asks #anon #transandrophobia

[thepoison-thecure]

its also important to note that this isnt just about isolated accounts. this isn’t just that every now and then a terf or a transmisogynist worms their way into an otherwise 100% trans inclusive space. transmisogyny is present in this fandom space in other, sometimes less overt ways, even spread by people who are vocally supportive of trans people. performing digital facial feminisation surgery on images of gerard in dresses to make him more palatable and shoehorn him into cishet beauty standards is rooted in transmisogyny. going to ridiculous lengths to make any use of a they pronoun by a public figure close to them “about the band”, even when it makes no contextual or grammatical sense, is rooted in transmisogyny. tearing down trans people who dare to talk about their interpretations and identification with the themes and lyrics explored in MCRs discography through a trans lens, is rooted in transmisogyny. drawings of gerard that give them a perfect hourglass and shave their jawline down and remove any sign that they have ever been through a testosterone based puberty, are rooted in transmisogyny. jokes about gerards gender nonconformity being a bit about a sassy man in a dress, are HEAVILY rooted in transmisogyny. claims that his gender nonconformity and publicly stated pronouns are for clout or money or “““queerbaiting””” or a kink are deeply fucking rooted in transmisogyny. mcr fandom spaces are often vocally pro-trans, and are full of a lot of trans and queer people, but that doesn’t mean that transmisogyny isn’t still informing the kinds of jokes and art and images and memes and discourse that is shared around. as long as we still live in a society steeped in transmisogyny, this will keep coming up over and over again, and transmisogynists and terfs see this as approval and as validation of their bigotry. its on all of us to be mindful, to consciously and continuously deconstruct transmisogyny and to stand with trans women. 

[shittysawtraps]

Hello shitty cishet,

Let's play a game. You think that being part of the Queer community is a choice, now, it is your time to choose. Either choose to be transgender and transition completely to the standards that you uphold every other trans person to with all the same obstacles that you impose upon them in their daily lives or choose to die, knowing that when you do, you are guaranteed eternal damnation of the worst magnitude. Let the games begin.

#shitty saw traps #submission

[damnfandomproblems]

https://www.tumblr.com/damnfandomproblems/735911163883290624/responding-to-4420-a-lot-of-people-me-included

Hard agree with the first reply to this ask

But my question is(directed towards anon): why do you have to change a character in order to relate to them.

Also it really seems like you are just trying to make it seem like I'm against such people. Or even the identies or traits themselves. Which shouldnt need explaining that i dont, but here we are, i dont have a fucking problem with people with any such identities, and appearances. I dont have a problem with characters having such identities and appearances.

The problem does not lie in what is changed or added, but instead WHY it is changed or added to an already established character.

What it sounds like is that you (gen) are unable to relate to anyone who is in anyway different to you, does not meet certain standards or requirements, or cant fit into a box that you are able to understand and comprehend.

Like.. its no different from cishet people going "oh i dont relate to this character cuz theyre gay or trans, or not a vsco girl" or smth like that, and then changing the character.

I get it. These kinds of people arent the most popular, and are very rare in media(though are actually becoming increasingly more common). So you think you need to change existing characters to relate to them or be seen and included.

And ... Idk how to explain how damaging that way of thinking and treating others that way is. And you cant tell me its just characters because ive seen how queer people treat cishet people and characters. Like they are somehow lesser or boring.

And i saw how some people commented on my usage of "woke" i realize now that may have made me seem like the kind of person who hates those things, but im not, and it was more towards... Like how so many people in fandom engage in performative activism. They do all this stuff for praise and to seem like a better person. Thats what i mean by woke if that makes sense.

Like honestly i think itd be way healthier to make ocs/self inserts and draw or write them with characters being supportive or just... Acting normally. Which is already a thing. The selfship community and ocxcanon community is very much alive and it doesnt even have to be ship. i guarantee more people, even people who dont relate, would enjoy people making and including more ocs in fandom.

Also "inflammatory language" (or just how i speak when annoyed i suppose) seems pretty on par for a blog dedicated to people complaining about fandom sooo, gotta remember im a real human writing this and not some machine that'll write everything in the best way possible.

Posting since this is a response to a previous ask.

#response to previous ask