#damage and no good

[sschmendrick]

Maybe I should go back to seeing my therapist, he was a good person, à l'écoute, but maybe I should explain why I stopped seeing him (on top of work load becoming unbearable).

Same with my psychiatrist though I think it'll be harder to see her because of the summer.

#I'm feeling so out of it #I have the worst support system for the terrible mental breakdown I've been having the last few weeks #I only have one friend talking to me and I am just working at my part time job and trying to do school work and work for 2 because one of #them won't work and my family is...well. I thought I could have my mum supporting me but she just can't seem to read the room #but I don't want to become bitter even though I already am. I want to be better but my mind is sinking and maybe I'm as bad as my ex friend #said I was. Maybe I am as much a bad person as my brother says I am. Maybe I'm in denial #I've stopped taking medication for a few months now and it's all slipped back in my mind and I can't rest. I'm always tired or on speed #I feel dull and isolated #I haven't had any physical contact with anyone in weeks (not a hug or a handshake) I feel a little bit alienated #it makes me want to disappear again and go far far away #I don't know what the issue even is. I don't know what mental illness I have. I thought it was bpd but what if it isn't #I just want to be normal. I want to be normal and happy. Rational level-headed not anxious paranoid and exhausted like I am #I want to cry to open the dam of emotions in my brain but it feels like a small tear in highly pressurized tank that's going to do more #damage and no good

[powpowhammer]

faded blue house portrait hanging on the wall at the local urgentcare

#medical assistant: yeah i never saw that show but i heard it was popular in the 90s? #me: (takes lethal psychic damage) #house md #good post good post

[mizgnomer]

Parallels - Good Omens Seasons One & Two - Part One

Links to [ Part Two ] [ Part Three ] [ Part Four ]

#still gotta finish part two #there are sooooo many #and they're all gorgeous #(but some are sad) #good omens #good omens season 2 #david tennant #michael sheen #ineffable husbands #crowley and aziraphale #goodomensedit #good omens spoilers #couldn't bring myself to do wall-slam vs. EVERY just yet #maybe in part two #I'm too emotionally damaged #crowley #aziraphale #stuff i posted #goParallels #parallels

[and-this-of-all-my-hopes]

So, I feel like I’m losing my mind. I keep seeing metas about how Aziraphale wants Crowley to return to Heaven and be an angel again because he wants them to be on the same side/be good/change/etc., etc., etc. but I don’t see that at all. I actually see it as the very opposite.

Aziraphale loves Crowley just as he is. But there’s something more. Something huge.

Aziraphale loves Crowley and because he is an angel who is stuck in seeing things as black and white, he constantly praises Crowley for being nice. For being good. For being kind.

Aziraphale has watched Crowley on and off for 6,000 years. He watched him thwart the plans of Heaven and Hell because it was unjust. He spared the lives of innocents. He did small things that made Aziraphale happy just because (like making Hamlet successful and saving valuable books). And because Aziraphale sees things in black and white, he sees all the things Crowley has done as nice, as good, as kind.

Crowley vehemently attests he’s not nice or good or kind.

He’s not exactly wrong nor is he lying when he says this. When Crowley spares goats during a cruel bet over a righteous man and swallowing laudanum to prevent a suicide, when he prevents Armageddon by working with Aziraphale and stopping the Anti-Christ from being the Anti-Christ, he’s not doing the nice/good/kind thing.

He’s doing the right thing.

Crowley chooses to do the right thing without hesitation. He is better than all of Heaven and Hell who have callous and dispassionate view of all existence because he questions, because he makes choices. Crowley sees the world for all its messiness and he sees himself. He sees a place where he fits in. He sees the blurred edges.

And Aziraphale sees that, even if seeing the blurred edges is hard for him.

But here’s the thing that Aziraphale can’t voice.

It’s the reason why he told Crowley about being allowed to return to Heaven and become an angel again. He doesn’t want Crowley to change. He doesn’t think Crowley is flawed. Or not enough.

It’s something that is so monumental that it cannot be put into words. Because to put it into words would be more than blasphemy. It’s down right unthinkable for anyone in Heaven, Hell, or Earth to say what Aziraphale knows deep in his soul.

God was wrong to cast out Crowley.

Aziraphale believes Crowley can/should return to Heaven because he knows that Crowley should never have fallen in the first place. He wants him to be forgiven because when Crowley fell it was unjust. Aziraphale is trying to correct a mistake. He’s trying to do the right thing.

Yes, Crowley would never accept returning to Heaven. And Aziraphale was wrong to even suggest it (although that conversation is another can of worms to unpack).

Aziraphale loves Crowley. He loves him exactly as he is. He doesn’t want him to change. Aziraphale knows that Crowley the best of all of them. He wants to change Heaven because of it. Because God was wrong and Aziraphale knows it.

Aziraphale may have difficulty seeing beyond black and white, but when it comes to Crowley he sees everything crystal clear and in vivid color.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #hold on to your butts #because here be outright blasphemy #aziraphale #crowley #neil gaiman #warning this post has been known to cause psychic damage #and in one instance a proposal of marriage #neil liked this post #whaaaaaaaaaaat #good omens spoilers #michael sheen #david tennant #ineffable husbands #tell me I’m wrong

[poobirdy]

bingqiu human/demon role reversal as requested by alliechickfics on twitter! for a modest donation to the listed organizations and individuals over at SVSSS Gotcha 4 Gaza, you too can get a prompt fulfilled in exchange.

#scum villain #svsss #bingqiu #luo binghe #shen yuan #shen qingqiu #mxtx #my art #blowing the dust off this account #the donation form is open until the 21st #i'll reblog a post abt the event that goes a little more in depth once this goes up #the idea for this au is that sy has been sealed in lbh's pendant for a Good While #up until ming fan steals/damages it and incidentally frees him #so ofc lbh is accused of housing a demon in the sect #what choice does he and sy have but to run tf out of there

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck #good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen #im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3 #writeblr #the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this'' #and like also #''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist #i was <3 punctured <3 during mine #and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion'' #so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3 #she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh #ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance #i'd crash on the table #like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it #and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop! #and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just #woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes #she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room #from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing #and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying #and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap #with this terrible memory #i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like #that was too many liters #and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home #i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after #that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty #you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it #while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED #and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.

[semisolidmind]

I love how no matter what ,your reader always has her scary dog privilege no matter the fandom, the fact that this time is an actual dog though —

loyal to his savior. it's only fair that he return the favor.

(i can't help it dude, i have a type when it comes to relationships. i want the big scary one to protect the smaller not scary one. and it would only make sense that after everything he's been through, he'd use his regained strength to protect the peace he's found with the one who's saved him.)

#click for quality cause mobile is stupid #poppy playtime #poppy playtime chapter 3 #dogday #dogday x reader #i like the idea of dogday becoming much stronger after hes healed and gotten some good food in him #hes a force of nature when hes not actively bleeding out and starving #even without his lower half he could cause some serious damage #sunnyangel

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Bruce and Clark start dating and Clark finds himself spending more time around the batkids and whenever he's losing an argument he just says "yeah? well I fucked your dad."

It's very effective.

#it deals instant psychic damage #the kids still have not found a good response #clark tries not to be a petty person but he does enjoy the intense reactions his words evoke #it's especially effective on damian who can't even argue that bruce isn't technically his dad #tim tried 'well i fucked your son' once but it just doesn't have the same impact #batman #bruce wayne #superman #clark kent #superbat #dc #dc comics #mine #batfam

[stil-lindigo]

the machine.

a comic about being a 'creator' online.

creative notes:

#in light of recent online 'success' i feel like this may come off as ungrateful #just wanna say that all the comics i make in this series are written about experiences i felt in 2022 #which was a rough year personally and creatively #and i very luckily don't feel this way anymore #and this also isnt to shame anyone who DOES feel this way #its easy to start to feel like all you are is a vending machine of art #and like thats all you are to people #theres nothing human to you #it can be a bit of a pit #and on some level this damage is self inflicted but social media really doesnt help that feeling #this wont work for everyone but having friends around you who you can talk to about stuff that ISNT art #going outside for dinner #maybe walking around #its good for when you need that feeling to go away even a bit temporarily #youre a human being #not a mindless content creation machine #and i hope anyone who feels like this now can get to a place where they have a healthier relationship with their own work #good luck to all of you #and thank you for reading #comic art #its 10pm #stillindigo art

[lynxgriffin]

Eldritchrune - Knock You Down!!

1 | 2

Story Setup Eldritchrune Masterpost

Queen tries to get to Kris with some psychological torment, but Kris pushes through, and the Fun Gang wins! Berdly is also recruited to the team...for better or for worse!

Aaaand yay, this part's all done! Definitely one of the most complex so far, but also satisfying to do a real boss battle!

#lynx art #eldritchrune #deltarune au #cw: eye horror #cw: crushing #cw: character death #kris #susie #noelle holiday #berdly #ralsei #queen #sure Kris gets beat up a lot but they also get to be a BAMF sometimes #and that should count for something! #also probably the coolest Berdly will ever manage to be #at least his voice can also deal psychic damage #YAY good to have this DONE!!

[binalakarchive]

the way you used to be

#fionna and cake #fionna campbell #simon petrikov #adventure time #fionna and cake fanart #if you squint and see a reference to the bjhm episode good damage..maybe you did #im having thoughts and feelings about this guy and his legacy of his embarrassing fic based on real ppl while he was manic

[braisedhoney]

fighting back? against who? they're so happy—they've been waiting for you.

you are wonderful. don't you know that?

bonus: they play sims together :)

#running out of pre-made art for the queue… ;; sorry folks. hope you enjoy this though! you voted for it o7 #utdr #wd gaster #gaster fanart #utdr fanart #deltarune fanart #deltarune #kris deltarune #utdr player #utdr soul #ney’s art #ney’s comics #if gaster was ever an enemy in the actual story i feel like it’d be like this. antagonistic but not behaving maliciously for fun #just dial up his genuine affection for the world to an extreme and make it tinged with Scientific Interest #bam. disconnected and maybe unintentional damage. baked with love from the void #… i do love a good edgy evil guy though. and the goofy takes are favorites too. #btw lowkey this is based on how much the fandom collectively (i think?) loves kris #like yes go blorbo we want to see you overcome all challenges :) #our buddy took all this trouble of taking us to build-a-vessel and someone just stomped on it when we finished :( rude

[its-kinda-snowy]

So, love me like there's no tomorrow Hold me in your arms, tell me you mean it This is our last goodbye And very soon it will be over But today just love me like there's no tomorrow

(non-transparent vers under the cut!)

#fanart #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #SEASON 3 CONFIRMED YIPPEE WAHOO HORRAY #I am not ready for the emotional damage that will occur if we are being honest

[critterbitter]

Lampent enters her miku stage in unlife, much to the fear and consternation of the rest of the staff. ((One day in the future, the twins will turn the Gear Station into a battle faculty and put Chandelure’s cute aggression to good use. Today is not that day.))

Link to submas masterpost!

#art #pokemon #sketchbook #myart #submas #fanart #pokemon ingo #subway boss ingo #submas comic #subway boss emmet #subway master emmet #subway bosses #subway master kudari #subway master ingo #pokemon emmet #litwick line #lampent #good god the lantern is developing e girl tendencies #several people are convinced lampent’s a demon from the distortion world in those beginning weeks #lampent takes the job so ingo would have less paperwork. what she doesnt know is she’s gonna replace that paper work with psychic damage #emmet and eelektrik are so desensitized good for them

[and-this-of-all-my-hopes]

Sometimes you just are trying to live out your day and then your brain thinks:

What if in the opening titles of Season 3 Aziraphale and Crowley aren’t walking together anymore.

#warning this post is known to cause psychic damage #this thought killed me a little #and made me sob #don’t be like me #my brain is the worst #good omens opening title #good omens #good omens 2 #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #michael sheen #david tennant #neil gaiman #terry pratchett #renew good omens #give me season 3 or give me death

[snuffysbox]

something tells me I have a preference for how to draw characters...

#do love a good lineup #maybe I need to start putting these characters into situations #but it's fun and easy and it does a lot of damage idk #idk idk #delete later maybe