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writingpaperghost · 2 years

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The Ending (Chapter 1)

Chapter 1: In a World We Cannot Understand

Emu isn't the same after that game ended, and no one knows what to do.

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42542001/chapters/106855734

When Kiriya finished his explanation of what happened in the game caused by the Chronicle Gashat, there was only silence in the CR. Everyone taking in the story and his words.

The silence is broken by Kuroto, who let out a heavy sigh before saying, “I blame this on you, Kujo.”

Kiriya would concede that it was a fair judgement.

He held at least some responsibility with what happened, it was because he tried to take the Gashat in the first place that it had been activated. What hurt more was that he’d given Emu enough reason not to trust him not to do something with it, and Kiriya couldn’t even blame him. In reality, he’s not sure he’s done a whole lot to really give Emu a reason to actually trust him. He was kind to him, yes, but so was everyone else in the CR, that wasn’t special. Maybe he’d succeeded in helping Emu when Emu had been trapped with Masamune again, during Chronicle, but that might not outweigh his history of lying, his act of being on Masamune’s side.

Having gotten so used to the way Parad seemed to trust him implicitly, Kiriya had forgotten that he wasn’t always what others would consider trustable. And Emu didn’t trust easily, even if he seemed more willing now. It had just never occurred to Kiriya that, at this point, Emu still had yet to trust him entirely.

That hadn’t been more apparent until Emu tried to take the Gashat from his hands. And then they’d wound up in that game, which has only made Kiriya’s guilt worse. Everything that Emu had gone through in the last few hours… even if it wasn’t entirely Kiriya’s fault, it certainly felt like it.

“You’re probably right to,” Kiriya responded, looking away.

Parad frowned, the sort of frown he got when he was frustrated or annoyed, “That’s not true, it wasn’t your fault that the Gashat had that game in it. Neither of you could have known.”

It’s been a long time since Kiriya’s felt something quite like this. Last he could remember was during Chronicle, when he was watching Emu and Saki suffer, knowing that he needed to continue to wait until the moment his help would really be needed. It was just that now, he really couldn’t ignore those feelings by focusing on the big issue. Because there wasn’t a big issue like Chronicle.

With a shrug, trying to convey that he wasn’t bothered that much, despite the fact that he really was. “Regardless, Emu’s… in a bit of a state.”

“That’s one way to put it,” Kuroto grumbled.

“I’ll check on him in a bit,” Parad said, “There’s not much else we can do.”

Nico groaned, “Cool, yeah. He’ll probably be happy to see you… In the meantime…” She looks over at Kuroto, “Kuroto can look at that Gashat and see if there’s anything else interesting, right?”

Grumbling, Kuroto takes the Gashat off the table, “I’ll see what there is.” It sounded like he wasn’t entirely convinced there was anything else of interest on the Gashat.

“And while you do that,” Saki smiled, a little scary, “You try not to be too mean to Kiriya. What’s done is done, regardless of who’s fault it may or may not have been.”

Again, Kuroto grumbled, while Kiriya pretended not to have noticed how pointed of a remark that had been.

Graphite shook his head, “I shall go and be with Kin, for now.”

“I’ll see you two in a bit, then,” Parad waved as Graphite teleported away.

With a certainty that Kiriya envied, Poppy said, “Emu will be alright.”

---

The darkness is cold, filling in the gaps of air around Emu, covering him, wrapping him, drowning him. Despite the cold darkness, he couldn’t find it in himself to try to chase it away, to do anything to try to warm up. He simply felt too empty.

Maybe he’d stay here, in the icy waters, where nothing could reach him. Where no one would ever bother him again. A place he couldn’t be hurt, a place where he couldn’t be loved. A place where not even the worst of monster could cause harm.

Around him, littering the darkness, blinking in and out, were glimmers like stars. They swirled, looking as though they should have a warmth to them, yet as he cupped one in his hand, there was nothing warm. Just an emptiness. The star like lights began to swarm him, hiding the darkness away, instead replacing it with the vision of a foggy figure.

A man, no, a Rider… Cronus.

Before, his breathing had been slow, but the moment he saw Cronus, it began and quickly escalated. So fast, that he quickly began to feel lightheaded.

Cronus, Cronus, Cronus – no, no, no – terrifying, he hated it.

“Emu…” He hears a voice, one he knows but can’t place. It echoed around Emu, he wanted to reach it but…

Cronus has his hand on Emu’s wrist. His breath catches, eyes wide as panic filled his head.

“Kin!”

And Emu wakes up, around his waist are Parad’s arms – he can see the pink sleeves – and Graphite had a hand on his shoulder, and then another in his hair. His breathing is rapid, but their arms felt… comforting. The careful manner that Graphite combed his fingers through Emu’s hair, gently pulling them out when he caught a knot.

All of that was just… a nightmare. He should be used to it, but the nightmares are the one thing that he had never been able to. The coldness from before was pushed away, his chest becoming filled with a gentle warmth.

“You’re okay, Emu, you’re safe,” Parad’s voice echoed through Emu, rising from his heart and into his mind.

Parad is behind him, making him out of Emu’s easy reach, save for his arms. Emu’s throat tightened when he tried to speak, reaching for Graphite with one hand, while the other fell to rest on Parad’s arm. Graphite moved closer, pulling Emu’s head to rest on his shoulder, ultimately squishing Emu between him and Parad.

He felt so… safe. The warmth in his chest felt so… strange, partly because of the stark difference between his nightmare and the way he was now surrounded by both Parad and Graphite. Emu cries into Graphite’s chest, shaking as it all tumbled out.

As he remembered what happened in that game, with Kiriya. How he’d become Cronus – because he had no other choice, there had been nothing else he could do. But still, he’d become that monster, the thing he’d been certain he’d never be, the thing that he swore he wouldn’t be. That he wouldn’t become the monster that Masamune had tried so hard to make him.

Do good people kill, Emu? Or is that only the action of monsters?

What good was he, when he couldn’t even stay a good person? He’d been doing so good, even he could admit it, and then he just… all it took was that little thing, that game and its boss… that fake version of him, and now he was back to square one. Except, even the idea that the monster he fought in that game was fake didn’t feel quite so true, anymore.

Don’t act like you’re any better than me, every part of me is somewhere in you, even if you won’t admit it.

Maybe that thing was right, maybe- maybe it really did exist in Emu and maybe he just didn’t want to admit it. Though he tried to ignore it in the moment, now… now it was all he could think about. More and more, he couldn’t find a way to try to disprove that notion. More and more, Emu could tell he was believing it.

I’m curious… How will this fight end? If I win, if you win… no matter which of us it is, a monster will win.

Plain and simple, Emu wasn’t left to wonder who or what he was, anymore. That other version of him had given him an answer, after all. It didn’t matter if the two of them were the same or not, there was at least one thing they had in common. They were both monsters, and in the end, it may have been Emu who won, but this didn’t mean that a monster hadn’t won. It was just that Emu was the monster.

“Emu…” Had Parad heard his thoughts? How much was Emu projecting his feelings across their bond?

The moment he realized that anything distressing might be leaking over, Emu slammed a lid on it all, pushing out anyone who wasn’t himself, and keeping all his thoughts to only himself. Behind him, Parad flinched, arms tightening around Emu just enough for him to notice.

Parad sighed, “Tell us what’s bothering you, Emu,” It was a plea, because Emu had already shut him out from knowing through his heart. Apparently, he hadn’t caught enough to figure it out, or maybe he just wanted to hear it from Emu himself.

What could Emu say? The truth was something that he needed to deal with himself, he was supposed to be okay, now, so he should be able to handle it on his own. Taking slow breaths, trying to calm down so perhaps he could just be a bit more convincing, Emu finally answered, “I’m just… tired. And I was- was scared.” It wasn’t a lie, he was more tired than he probably should have been after having slept already, and he had been very scared in that game. Scared of what might happen and what he might become.

Though both Parad and Graphite appeared unconvinced, Parad sighed, pulling himself from Emu. “Alright, well, I have to head back to the hospital, so I’ll leave you with Graphite and Ai.” He slides off the bed and stands, prompting a sound of pattering feet and Ai hopping up onto the bed, settling into Emu’s lap. Her tail wagged back and forth as Emu gave her a few pets, not feeling much excitement from the action. Eventually her tail slowed, and she curled up.

With a heavy sigh, Emu leaned back against Graphite, closing his eyes, trying to decide how he should proceed from here. How to deal with being a monster? He wasn’t really sure, and there certainly wasn’t anyone to ask, not that he really wanted to worry anyone.

Unwillingly, he fell back asleep.

---

It was a little too late to not be a bit concerning when Kuroto returned to the CR. Parad and Saki had only come down because Kuroto had texted them to ask them to. Kiriya was already down there, having stayed late to try to help Yaotome with her attempts to determine how to extract the data from the Proto Gashats.

When they arrive at the CR, Nico and Taiga having arrived before the two, the only ones not present Graphite and Emu who were surely still home, Kuroto has a strange expression on his face. Some mix of excitement and confusion and curiosity. He sits with his laptop on the table, the Chronicle Gashat from before in his hand, being passed back and forth between each.

“Kuroto?” Saki asked, having already retrieved a small slice of cake and sitting at the table. “Have you found something about this Gashat?”

Suddenly, with a restless energy, Kuroto stands, “Yes! Exactly!” the chair he was sitting in was pushed back and he began to pace. “At first, I thought this was simply a Gashat that was made to access Cronus’ power, something similar to the original but lacking all of the otherwise unnecessary Chronicle Data.”

Warily, Asuna watched him pace, “At first?” She sounded a bit worried. Fair, given Kuroto’s tendencies for these sort of fits.

“Then,” Kuroto continued on, not even really prompted by Asuna’s question, “I took a closer look and- and! It’s different, certainly, but not nearly so different as it should be if that was true!”

Nico sighed, rolling her eyes, “And what is your point here?”

“I should have considered it sooner, given that Masamune had come back as well, but the thought really hadn’t crossed my mind until I was looking through the Gashat and it’s data…” Kuroto slammed his hands against the table, startling both Nico and Saki, and causing Kiriya’s suspiciously full cup of coffee to spill. Kiriya scowled, and grumbled something as he went to get a towel to wipe up the spill. “Masamune came back, and so did all that data in the Gashat. I’d thought that, perhaps, it would be too hard to extract it from the Bugster data, but it seems not.”

Kuroto’s ramblings still weren’t quite making sense, not in the way it did to him, at least. It was probably from the roundabout delivery and the frantic nature with which he spoke, but Parad thought he was beginning to make some sense of it. “Wait, Kuroto,” He began, fixing his gaze onto Kuroto, who slowed his pacing for a moment. Across the bond, Parad could feel Kuroto’s excitement, a nervous energy (still, Emu’s side was completely empty, shut off from the other two). “do you mean that the Chronicle Gashat that fake Emu was using, the one that put Emu and Kiriya through that game is…?”

Finally calmed a little, Kuroto answers with a grin, “The same Gashat Masamune had during Chronicle, the Gashat that has the master copy of the data of everyone who has died to Game Disease. The only difference is the extra data added for the game, but even that doesn’t appear to have affected the Gashat’s data storage.”

“So then,” Taiga began, “you and Yaotome don’t have to find a way to get the data out of the Proto Gashats. Instead, you just have to get it out of there.”

“Yes, that’s it.” Kuroto sits down again, appearing out of breath despite not needing to breath.

Saki sets her fork down, “That will make it easier then, won’t it?”

Already typing at his computer, Kuroto answered, “Probably. Most likely. Though it’s hard to say for sure until we test it.”

His computer is pulled aside by Asuna, causing him to frown, while Asuna gave him a stern look. “That can be for tomorrow, Kuroto, you’ve done enough tonight.” When Kuroto was about to protest, she added, “Remember, Emu will probably be happy to see you, and he’ll only worry if you’re overworking yourself.”

“I am not about to overwork myself,” Kuroto protested, then sighed, “But I’ll head home for today. I’d like to check on Emu, regardless.”

“Earlier,” Parad said, “He said he was tired. But before that…”

Kuroto’s face fell as he recognized what Parad was referring to, “Something happened and he shut us out,” His hand hovered over his heart, for a moment, before he sighed heavily. “Let’s give him a bit, I think he needs some time. Graphite and Ai will keep an eye on him, when we can’t.”

#kamen rider exaid #kamen rider ex aid #kamen rider #there is a me who can become strong #the ending #my writing

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rnelodyy · 3 years

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c!Dream and the rules

(/dsmp /rp, all names refer to characters, not content creators)

I think one of the most striking parts of Exile is something that I rarely see talked about, and it’s Dream’s rules. Or rather, how his rules were made to be used as justification to hurt Tommy.

The thing about exile is that, outside of the initial rule of “Don’t go back to L’Manburg”, Dream never told Tommy the rules, yet constantly operated under the assumption that Tommy already knew them, and had accepted them. The rules also changed constantly, without Tommy ever being notified until he was already in trouble.

The second time Dream told Tommy to put his armor in the hole, he didn’t tell Tommy to do that right away. Instead, the conversation went like this (slightly edited to remove stammering and unrelated dialogue).

Dream: Do you have, uh… something you wanna put on the floor here? Tommy: Yes. (drops two pieces of red concrete as Dream digs a hole) Dre-eam! You’re evil. You’re evil. Dream: Anything else, Tommy? Tommy: Nope! Dream: Oh c’mon, I know there’s something else you wanna drop down here. Tommy: (panicking slightly) No, there… (messages BBH “take this and run”, throws him the disc BBH had gifted him earlier) Um… I don’t reckon there is! (pause) Dream: Okay, are you suuuure? Tommy: YES. Dream: Alright… How ‘bout your armor, Tommy? Tommy: Well, no, this is- I actually earned this myself. Dream: I know you did! Tommy: Leave me alone. Dream: Just drop it in the hole, Tommy. Tommy: Wh- no, NO, you can’t just come and demand things from me! I’ve been exiled, I’ve done your shit, what do you mean?! Dream: (sing-song) Tommy… Tommy: What? (Dream hits Tommy with his axe, taking over half his health) Tommy: (screams, drops his armor) OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY!

The only rule Tommy was aware of at this time was that he wasn’t allowed to go back to L’Manburg. Dream had taken his armor the night before, but there was no indication that he expected Tommy to do this constantly. Taking his armor upon initially arriving at Logstedshire made some kind of sense, allowing Tommy to keep it would run the risk of him trying to fight his way back into L’Manburg. Taking his new, very shitty armor (seriously it was an iron chestplate and a pair of golden leggings he got from a ruined portal chest) made no sense at all, so the fact that Tommy was confused and refused to cooperate at first isn’t unexpected in the slightest.

And the thing is… Dream was aware of this fact. Throughout the conversation, he never really sounded annoyed, and was actively teasing Tommy at times. This isn’t a good thing btw, it’s a sign that he was fully aware that Tommy didn’t know what he wanted from him, and that that would create a situation where Dream could “put him in his place” as it were.

If you’re a parent, and your kid does something that’s not allowed, without knowing it’s not allowed, you don’t start off with a beating. You sit them down, calmly explain the rules to them and explain why those rules are there, then send them on their way with the knowledge that they shouldn't do it again.

This interaction wasn’t an instance of Tommy acting out and Dream correcting him. This interaction was a trap. Dream set Tommy up to fail by not telling him the rules beforehand, and when Tommy offered even the slightest bit of resistance and asked why he needed to drop his armor, Dream jumped straight to beating him. It’s a powerplay, plain and simple.

This is demonstrated again with the destruction of Logstedshire. Dream got pissed that Tommy disobeyed him by having hidden chests with gear under his house, and retaliated by destroying everything Tommy had built, destroying every item he’d collected, killing his pet and only foodsource, barring him from the Nether, banning everyone except himself from visiting, and telling him to start over from scratch after a whole lecture about how Tommy betrayed him.

Again, I wanna point out some specific lines from this lecture that illustrate my point very well.

Dream: You were lying to me! You were lying to me. Tommy: No- Why was I lying?! Dream: What do you mean, why were you lying?! Tommy: I wasn’t hi- I wasn’t- Dream: You hid things in a chest knowing they were things I wouldn’t want you to have! And you hid it in a way that way I would never find it!

Except Tommy didn’t know that. The contents of the stash were all items that Tommy had obtained previously without any issue (diamonds, emeralds, iron, ender pearls, some pickaxes, and some purely sentimental items like flowers, a jukebox, and pictures of Tubbo and L’Manburg). In fact, the vast majority of them came from Tommy’s aboveground storage, which Dream had full access to, and had looked through before!

Dream also never said Tommy wasn’t allowed to hide stuff, and there was nothing to suggest he didn’t want Tommy to keep secrets from him.

There’s been a theory floating around for a while that Dream knew about Tommy’s item stash beforehand, since it was a very strange place to dig a hole (like, right in front of the house in the center of Logstedshire itself, instead of out in the plains where the TNT wouldn’t damage any structures), and Tommy had previously forgotten to cover up the entrance ladder. While Dream hadn’t looked inside the house, he would’ve definitely heard Tommy place the block back.

If this theory is correct, then this was yet another trap. Dream knew Tommy had a hidden room, and instead of just saying “hey, I don’t want you to have a hidden stash, go put this back and fill in the room” (which would’ve still been bullshit btw), he went COMPLETELY ballistic, destroyed EVERYTHING Tommy had, and while doing it, kept admonishing Tommy for betraying him, said shit like “I thought we were friends”, and even accused him of preparing to attack Dream. Again, a powerplay.

Hell, even the exile conflict itself is this! Tommy was exiled for griefing the king’s property while being a high-ranking official in L’Manburg. Except Fundy, the then-president’s son, CONSTANTLY griefed Eret’s shit after the L’Manburg war, ranging from ripping down one of their towers to “shrink” it, filling another tower with water, and multiple elaborate plots to steal the throne from under their nose. But apparently, between all of that shit and the exile-conflict, the rules were silently changed, meaning Dream could exile Tommy for breaking a couple blocks and placing some rude signs in George’s house. Even the punishment itself was changed without warning, as Tommy went from being exiled from L’Manburg to exiled from “everywhere that’s ever been touched.”

...I was originally gonna make a different point here. I may put it in the reblogs, because I still think it’s very interesting. But, in the middle of writing this essay I had to stop because it was late, then I spent the entire next day packing up because I’m in the middle of a move. It's now the next evening, I'm sat in my new room, on my camping bed, I opened this doc because I pretty much forgot what I typed, I reread it, and then I realized… This isn’t an isolated series of events. This is a pattern for Dream.

Before Tommy first joined the server, there were only three set rules: no stealing, no griefing, and no killing people. Except by that point, those rules weren’t enforced at all. In fact, Dream broke all three at once at one point, by killing George and burning his diamond armor because he didn’t feel it was fair that George got to run around in full diamond when everyone else still had iron.

Tommy joined the server, and broke the rules like everyone else. He stole shit, broke shit, killed George for funsies… and he got exiled for it. Seriously, they dumped him in an empty snowfield for breaking rules that nobody had enforced for weeks. So technically, the Exile-arc isn’t even the first time something like this has happened to him!

During the events that would eventually spark the Disc War, Sapnap stole a bunch of Tommy’s items (including the only Netherite chestplate on the server at the time), and told him he’d only give the stuff back if Tommy helped him with a conflict he had with Ponk. Long story short, Dream tried to intervene and was killed by Tommy and Sapnap, and Dream stole Tommy’s discs to force him to apologize. He then kept the discs, and the Disc War followed. Sapnap, despite being the aggressor and arguably forcing Tommy to participate in the conflict, was never punished.

This proves not only that the rules can change whenever Dream feels like it, but that they’re arbitrarily enforced. Dream refuses to punish his friends for the same crimes he endlessly fucks over Tommy for.

L’Manburg was created in part because of the fact that the rules were unevenly enforced. Tommy, Wilbur, and later Tubbo were repeatedly killed, stolen from, imprisoned, and even held hostage for very minor crimes, while the people killing, imprisoning, kidnapping and stealing from them were able to do so without impunity.

This was also the point where Dream just started making up new rules; there was no rule against having governments on the server, or making a separate area where Dream’s rules wouldn’t apply, so Dream banned governments, and used this new rule as an excuse to kill them, take their items, and tear their land to shreds.

And that’s another thing: the punishments for breaking Dream’s rules are INCREDIBLY harsh.

Kill him non-canonically one time? Your most prized possessions will now be dangled over your head and used to hurt you for the next few months.

Make a country with different laws that doesn’t infringe on anyone’s territory, has no desire to expand, is explicitly pacifistic and open to trade negotiations? You’ll be forced to fight a war you’re in no way equipped to fight, you’ll be betrayed and murdered and have your land destroyed in front of your very eyes until you literally have no choice but to surrender.

Mildly vandalize the king’s house, which nobody else has ever been punished for? You’ll be dragged into court, exiled from your home, and subjected to weeks of abuse until you believe that all of your friends hate you and you actively want to kill yourself.

Hide some stuff in a secret chest? Your only shelter will be exploded, your pet/only food source will be killed, all your items will be destroyed, you’ll be banned from the Nether, and none of your friends will be allowed to come see you.

This is all such disproportionate retribution it’s ridiculous. It’s like punishing someone for speeding by blowing up their car with a ballistic missile.

So to sum up: Dream’s rules are arbitrarily enforced, and he can just straight up make them up on the spot if he feels like it. Sometimes, he won’t tell you a rule exists until you’ve already broken it, and you’re treated as if you broke it out of malice instead of genuine ignorance. And if you do break a rule, and he decides you have to be punished, it will always be a punishment so harsh it doesn’t even ATTEMPT to fit the crime.

I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty fucking corrupt and tyrannical to me.

When people say Tommy deserved exile, or made Dream spiral into villainy, or abused Dream somehow (seriously I’ve seen this take multiple times and every time it makes my brain melt) by breaking the rules, I would invite them to take a step back and ask themselves, why did that rule exist? Did Tommy know it existed? Was it enforced for everyone other than him as well? Does the punishment fit the crime?

Dream has a bad habit of making up rules, or enforcing old ones that were never enforced before, to punish those who threaten his power. None of the Dream Team were ever punished for anything, despite committing the same crimes as the L’Manburgians. That is, until they founded Mexican L’Manburg (i.e. went against Dream’s rule), at which point they were attacked by Dream and George was dethroned for “not being neutral enough.”

Tommy should’ve faced consequences for what he did. But those consequences should’ve come naturally, and been carried out by the people he hurt. Like, if Dream hadn’t intervened, griefing George’s house would’ve resulted in George griefing Tommy back in revenge. In fact, he DID do that, by turning Tommy’s entire house into granite and putting the Jump In The Cadillac picture on his front lawn.

These are natural, proportionate consequences. Exile was none of that. The Disc War was none of that. Everything that happened to L’Manburg was none of that.

Dream’s rules and how he enforces them are inherently corrupt and tyrannical. To pretend it’s anything but is disingenuous at best.

#dream smp #dsmp #dsmp analysis #c!dream #c!tommy #tommyinnit #dreamwastaken #i had a COMPLETELY different point that i wanted to make but then i thought about it and went w a i t #uhhh if you wanna hear my original point lemme know i guess #anyway c!dream is such an interesting character! i hate him!#little green bastard man #c!dream critical

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mustyrosewater · 3 years

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• 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙠𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧 || 𝙣𝙞𝙠𝙞 𝙡𝙖𝙪𝙙𝙖 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 ↠ NSFW

warnings ↠ swearing, bratiness, nsfw activites, s e x, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kids) niki being a bit rough

word count ↠ 8,045 (i know right?)

synopsis ↠ after being caught in a restricted area during a race by niki lauda, he intends to make your life a living hell

your body flops onto the couch of your fathers study, your father who despite clicking away on his typewriter, still manages to look up at you and scrunch his face up at the sight of what you'd chosen to wear. even if he didn't say anything, you could tell by the look on his face that your clothing of choice was the reason.

looking up at the ceiling of your fathers study, delicate patterns painted into the white surface, providing a rather beautiful picture for you to stare at as you waited for her father to finally finish whatever work he was doing; eager to get on to the activities your family had planned. with little to no warning last night, your mother had poked her head into your room to let you know that you were being dragged along with your father and mother to the races tomorrow, the formula three out in london to be precise. being given little to no choice as to whether or not you'd be accompanying them, you thought it only fair you ignite your own small personal resistance by making sure to wear an outfit you know your father and mother would detest to no end. a lovely minidress, with earthy tones and patterns, accompanied with a dark brown of leather knee high boots, all topped with one of her most favorite fur coats. with an outfit like this, you knew your parents would be embarrassed to no end. they'd long given up on trying to control your behavior, quickly realizing that their daughter's continuous spouts of acting out were something they'd rather ignore than put effort into; a mindset that seemed to encourage you, while your parents only ignored you more. you'd be lying if you said that races didn't bring you a sense of wicked anticipation; it wasn't the sport that excited you in of itself, but the people you would encounter. you knew you had little interest in watching cars speed around in a circle over 70 times, you did however, have a very keen interest in racers and the people they encountered. it had not taken much longer of annoying your father before he caved and picked up his coat, eliciting an excited grin from his daughters face as you jumped up from the couch and practically skipped out to the car where your mother was already waiting for you both, applying powder to her face. perhaps in another world, a world where your parents weren't socialites who cared for nothing but the way they appeared to others, you wouldn't have been swept under the rug as the disappointment. maybe you would have gotten the attention you so craved as a child. swept out of your own thoughts as the car's engine sprung to life, it was not long before you were driving out of the painfully long driveway of the estate and in the direction of the location of the formula three race track. - the moment you opened the car door and exited, you could hear the sound of conversations and laughter within the crowds, accompanied by the sound of drills and tools in the background, no doubt racers making any last minute adjustments to their cars before it was time to go out onto the track. it hadn't taken long for your mother and father to begin mingling with friends of theirs, all while you stood on the sidelines, occasionally smiling politely and shaking hands of people who insisted they'd met you before at one of your parents many dinner parties, yet there were too many for you yourself to keep up with, especially when you normally spent them hulled up in your room desperately trying to escape any and all interactions. it was drawing on and on, slowly driving you crazy, you hadn't even been able to go to your seat yet, purely because your father was constantly getting distracted by people he knew, that or business partners. surprisingly enough, it was easier than you thought to slip away from your parents radar, simply taking a skillful hard left turn as they continued walking further into the crowd of people for them to converse with. a fate you were more than happy to avoid. looking around, you adjusted the brown tinted sunglasses hanging on your nose bridge, pushing them slightly further down so that you could scope out the area you'd managed to find yourself in. to be fair, you hadn't exactly known where you were going when you took that sudden left turn, only that you wanted to disappear from your parents view, a goal you had succeeded in, only to be set with another. find out where exactly you'd ended up. continuing further, you very quickly realized you'd turned directly into the racers area, hearing the sound of drills and tools in the distance, as well as the occasional chatter as men walked past you, offering no investigation as to who you were and why you were in this area. this didn't exactly surprise you, seeing as it was nowhere near abnormal for racers to gain a plethora of groupies. walking around all of the trailers, you couldn't help but peer your head around to stare at the cars within, your curiosity getting the better of you. it didn't take much longer before your snooping led you to a particularly interesting sight, a beautiful red formula vee, an expensive one at that. whoever it was who owned this machine most certainly did not spare any expense when it came to upgrades. reaching your hand forward, you hesitated, taking a moment to look left and right, ensuring that there was nobody around before you threw all caution to the wind, biting back a borderline shit eating grin before leaning forward to run your fingertips on the cars smooth surface. though expensive, you had to admire it, it was indeed a beautiful car, very well looked after. every gear was polished to perfection, it was clean as a whistle and every part of it was up to date; whoever owned this car wasn't just well off, they knew about what made a good working car. you were prepared to have the question of the cars owner remain one that was unanswered, you should have gone back sooner, even if your parents most certainly weren't missing you, the race was bound to start soon. "would you mind telling me what you're doing?" you never truly understood the phrase 'scared half to death' until now, feeling your heart jump to life, beating rapidly as you spun around to see the culprit to your near heart attack. quickly trying to gain your composure, you reached a hand to pull some of the hair that fell forward out of your face, steadying yourself and raising your eyebrows in some poor attempt to appear cool and collected despite the fact that the smirk this stranger wore most certainly met that he knew he had scared you and found it amusing. already drawn in by the appeal of the challenge her was proposing, you tilted your head and only mirrored his smirk; letting your head turn back down to the car, only just now noticing the name written on the middle in white writing. "niki lauda i'm guessing?" his response was only to raise his eyebrows, tilting his head and raising his arms out to gesture to himself in a way before crossing them promptly, only returning to the vaguely unimpressed look he was first wearing. you couldn't stand that look, it reminded you far too much of your father. "i can't imagine how you could have guessed." sarcasm dripped from his voice, along with an accent you couldn't quite pinpoint, you knew it was german, but you were unable to guess exactly where in germany. you wanted to pretend you were surprised that the person with one of the most well looked after cars was in fact german, yet you just couldn't. the fact that you'd been near his car without his permission or knowledge was definitely the main reason he seemed annoyed by your presence, however, it probably didn't help that you only let out a small chuckle and shrugged your shoulders, only seeming to antagonize him more. letting out a sigh, you took a moment to push your sunglasses back in front of your eyes, looking out back in the direction you came from before back at lauda, smirking and turning around without another word, making sure you made a show of flipping your hair back around. "where do you think you're going?" his tone didn't so much give off the vibes of authority, it was more of an actual question, as if he were in disbelief that after being caught red handed touching his car, you would just walk off. not bothering to turn around, your grin remained unseen by lauda as you held your hand up in a wave. "i'm going to watch the race." you said it as if it were a fact he was too ignorant to be aware of, stating it as if it were the obvious all in an attempt to annoy him more. "good luck out there!" you called, disappearing back around the corner before he could even have time to make up some smart comment. your quest to annoy lauda had very much succeeded, probably more so than expected as he shook his head watching you leave. and yet, the one other thing you'd done without even meaning to, was peak lauda's curiousity. - it wasn't difficult to find your parents again, they had finally made their way to their seats, and despite the amount of time you'd spent away, they didn't even seem to acknowledge you as you sat down beside them, eager to watch the race, which was only now beginning to get underway. you hadn't meant to, yet you found yourself looking out for that same red formula vee that you knew was lauda's. some weird interest you'd found in the man, especially the way he'd reacted to the way in you more than purposefully had been annoying him previously. it hadn't been much longer before the race had officially started; with a wave of the checkered flag, the cars were immediately off, speeding around with sharp sounds invading your ears each time they passed you and your family. by the time the fifth lap had gone by, you were well and truly bored. reaching into your pocket, you pulled out your saving grace, your packet of marlborough cigarettes; opening said packet and pulling one out to place it between your lips, reaching into your pocket to search for the lighter you were almost certain you'd placed in your pocket earlier. to your surprise, it was strangely absent from your pocket, only producing an annoyed sigh as you rolled your eyes. without a word, you reached for your fathers pocket, who either didn't notice you pulling out his lighter, or simply refused to acknowledge you; either way, you didn't complain as you finally lit up your cigarette, sucking in the ashy taste and holding it within your mouth as you pulled the cylinder away from your lips, blowing the smoke out in a small cloud in front of you which soon drifted off. - despite a major incident involving spinning cars and a few very close calls, you'd managed to sit through the rest of the race without any other distractions. you hoped that your wish of good luck to lauda was not the cause for him spinning out of control and ultimately losing to james hunt, yet you could never be too sure; though you hated to admit that the thought brought a chuckle out of you. even though you'd had fun teasing lauda, you were more than grateful that the race was finally over and that people were beginning to leave, meaning that hopefully soon, you would be as well. once again you found yourself standing behind your parents, taking little care to be subtle with your boredom, openly sighing and tapping your boot against the gravel in the hopes that this would speed them up; though this proved to be futile and frankly, you should have known better seeing as they had become impressively adept at ignoring your presence. the noise of their conversation seemed to slowly fade into nothing but muffled sounds in the background as you crossed your arms and looked around, taking the moment to begin people watching, even noticing as james hunt celebrated his win, briefly passing by just as him and his group popped open a bottle of champagne. as much as you saw the lifestyle racers seem to lead as a novelty, the accident that occurred today only reminded how dangerous of a sport it really was, men choosing to put their lives on the line for the sake of peoples entertainment? it was hard not to admire them, there was no arguing that they were good at what they did. you definitely didn't regret not seeing said accident produce any gruesome results; you'd only ever heard what had happened to racers in the past, men that were considered lucky to make it out with crippling injuries, because surely that was better than losing your own life right? that was a point that could be argued profusely; was the loss of quality of life really better the loss of a life all together? while you would have been happy to continue this solo conversation of ethics and virtues of life in your own head, you were ripped out of your own thoughts by the sound of your father once again noticing somebody he knew, yet this time, you could very proudly say it was somebody you yourself also knew, albeit you'd only known him for around three hours. "niki lauda! look at you! still going strong after a spin!"

your first instinct was to immediately turn your head sideways, hoping that he wouldn’t notice it was you, a feeble attempt to be honest, now you were suddenly finding reason to regret wearing such an eye catching outfit.

you could only just see out of the corner of your eye as lauda greeted your father fondly with a handshake, so far not looking over to you much to your relief.

continuing to watch as he also greeted your mother, any and all hopes of getting away from this without greeting lauda was squashed the moment your father gripped your upper arm, yanking you forward to come face to face with lauda.

“have you met my daughter, lauda?”

finally looking back ahead slowly, your eyes, covered by sunglasses thankfully, made facing lauda only slightly less intimidating.

in a moment of silence, the look on lauda’s face gave away the fact that he re’d recognized you instantly, the slight smirk on his face only you were able to catch as he looked at you as if to say “caught you.”

and yet, you had no idea why he suddenly looked back to your father, shaking his head and smiling.

“i can’t say i have.”

looking back at you, he leaned forward to grip your hand firmly, shaking it and stepping back as if you were poisonous to the touch. to be fair, you didn’t exactly blame him.

it seemed you weren’t the only one itching to end the interaction between the two of you, you father quickly grabbing lauda’s attention once more with a satisified hum, beginning to walk alongside lauda.

“you should come to my estate tonight for a drink, celebrate your close call eh?”

even you had to cringe at your fathers poor excuse to invite lauda over, you doubted he was feelign particularly good after that loss, yet any excuse for your father to mingle with those that could held him climb the social ladder.

once again trying your best to tune out the conversation as you walked behind them, your hearing still managed to pick up the result of your father pestering lauda despite his first three kind refusals.

with a sigh, seeming to actually put an effort into hiding his distaste with your fathers attitude, lauda offered a thin lipped smile.

“i suppose there’s no refusing this, is there.”

with an outright lack of awareness to lauda’s tone and even the way he was already treating this invitation like a chore, your father grinned and patted lauda on the back firmly with a laugh.

“no there is not my boy.”

as desperate as lauda seemed to get away from the conversation, he still took a moment to turn around, offering you and your mother an awkward smile, only to turn his attention briefly towards you and only you.

the look on his face couldn’t be described as anything but smug as he offered you a polite nod before walking off in the other direction without another word, leaving you standing there in an almost stunned state.

only to be taken out of said state as your father ordered you to get back in the car so that you could head back and be certain that the estate and ensure that i was prepared for lauda’s arrival.

as much as you’d protested against your father and begged your mother to let you just stay in your room for the rest of the night, you ultimately failed.

not even trying to hide the sour look on your face as you stood beside your mother at the entrance of your large home, you watched as the gate was opened for lauda’s car, which came running into the driveway slightly faster than you thought was reasonable.

you would have been content for the incident with the car to be and you and niki lauda’s interactions, if you had known you would be forced to sit in his company with your parents, you most definitely would not have been so snarky about touching his car. especially not walking off without a word.

no doubt firm on keeping their image at least slightly reasonable, your previous outfit had quickly been abandoned, instead being forced to change into a simple mini dress with black stockings and shoes. a painfully simple outfit. and an uncomfortable one at that.

this was made clear by the way that you were constantly shifting in the dress, attempting to roll your shoulders and cringing when the fabric allowed little to no movement. this was only responded to by your mother scolding you under her breath as lauda exited his car.

no longer in his baby blue racing suit you’d seen him in up to this point, he had abandoned it for a smart looking button up shirt and blazer, paired with jeans and dress shoes.

it was admittedly an odd sight, not just for lauda, but in general it was an odd sight seeing racers in normal clothes compared to the suits they so often wore.

watching as your father greeted lauda enthusiastically, then your mother, you could hardly hide the fake nature of your smile as you once again extended your hand to lauda without a word.

in some odd way, lauda seemed to be amused with your nature towards him. after all, he knew full well that he’d well and truly caught you out. now it was the two of you playing a waiting game to see who was going to break first.

the drink that your father mentioned passed by smoothly enough, all four of you in your fathers study as lauda and your father sipped at scotch and spoke about a multitude of boring topics that you couldn’t bother to engage yourself apart from the occasional hum of acknowledgment when your father briefly included your opinion into the conversation.

choosing instead to actively depart yourself from their presence, you pretended to be enthralled in a book as you sat across from lauda, a large coffee table separating the couches you sat on.

every now and then, your curiosity would gain the upper hand as you found your eyes flashing upwards to try and catch a not so sneaky glance at lauda.

every single time without failure, lauda’s eyes were on you, staring you down as if you were a deer in headlights.

his stare was similar to the feeling you got when sitting in front of a fire for a little bit too long, uncomfortable and making you feel far too warm. it was as piercing as the rest of his personality was.

you had thought yourself to be a tough person, you’d gotten in scuffles with other kids as a child in school, and you’d been the type to graze your knees and get up as if it were nothing; but niki’s stare glaring upon you constantly eventually proved to be too much for even you to handle.

finally unable to take it any longer, you stood up without a word, seemingly alerting niki as you could see his eyes widen slightly before maintaining his poker face.

your parents were also visibly surprised as your mother jumped softly, placing a hand daintily over her heart as your father turned away from niki to look at you, a brief warning expression lacing his features, as if to say

“don’t you dare ruin this for us.”

you seemed to almost relieve him with your next question, not being able to bring yourself to look over at niki as you held your arms firmly to your sides.

“may i be please be excused, i’m tired.”

the warning previously on your father shifted into an odd look of surprise as his brows furrowed; you had no doubt this was due to the fact that not only did you ask something politely, but that your tone had no inch of sarcasm whatsoever.

the shock seemed to take his voice away as he only nodded, watching as you turned and began to walk out of the study.

“don’t be rude, aren’t you going to say goodnight to our guest?”

you wouldn’t be surprised if the way you tensed up at the sound of your fathers words was visible to all in the room; this was confirmed even more so when you turned slowly and saw niki’s expression as he still sat on the couch smirking once more.

only nodding your head, you took a few steps and held out your hand awkwardly for him to shake.

“goodnight, mr lauda.”

the stiffness of your voice only made the interaction more awkward as you stood there waiting for him to shake your hand.

you were unable to see your parents in the corner of your eye, but you held little doubt that they were cringing as if at any moment your real personality was going to jump out and ruin any chances they had of getting into lauda’s good books and they would have lost an influential friend.

rather, they, your mother especially were shocked, yourself included when rather than simply shake your hand, niki gripped it softly, bringing it towards his lips to kiss the back of your hand softly, his eyes never leaving your own.

you were unsure if this was his odd version of rubbing it in, or he simply wanted to embarrass you in front of your parents as he pulled his lips away, running his thumb along your knuckles slowly as he smirked up at you.

though anybody not aware of your current little game (if you could even call it that) would perceive it as a friendly smile of niki’s part.

“please, call me niki.”

you could strangle him right in that moment, god you wanted to, wipe that stupid little smirk off of his face if your parents were not watching your every move.

as soon as you felt his grip loosen, you were unable to stop yourself from ripping your hand from his own. god his hands were warm.

“goodnight.. niki..”

you hadn’t meant for your voice to shake, but it still did, and it annoyed you to end as his smirk only widened at this. you'd be lying if you said that the moment you turned you hadn't looked like you were practically running away. even as if walked down the hall and up the stairs towards your bedroom, you could hear your father apologizing profusely for your rudeness, only to hear niki brushing it off politely. - that had happened a week ago, and as much as you wished you could say that was the last you'd seen of niki lauda for a long while; that was hardly the case. in fact, it was the polar opposite. you couldn't tell whether or not he was doing it to annoy you or because he actually enjoyed the company of your father, but if you weren't aware enough of your fathers skill when it came to hosting guests, you would have actually been dumb enough to say that it was indeed the latter. it was in fact painfully obvious to you that lauda's continued appearances within your household as a guest of your father were done with nothing other than the intention to spite you. though what was finally the cherry on top, what was starting to make you wonder if he actually did find genuine enjoyment in spending time with your parents or if he just really, really enjoyed making you suffer. he had invited your parents to a party to celebrate one his most recent wins which they had also dragged you along to come and watch. and of course, he made sure to extend the invitation to you. "should she wish to come along." he'd said, as if he didn't know that your parents were going to drag you along anyway. it was for that reason now you were sitting in front of your vanity, trying not to cringe as your mother pulled and teased your hair, styling it into a small beehive, seemingly at the request of your father, no doubt wanting all of you to look your very best, considering this was yet another chance to mingle and make new, rich friends. sat in a mini dress with long bell sleeves, its paisley patterns reminding you of so many other items in your wardrobe; all finely paired with a pair of brown platfrom knee high boots and a fur coat. it was fucking uncomfortable. your feet were already hurting, and the length made you second guess how much of your ass could be seen every second and this hairstyle was going to be a bitch to take out later. as much as you would have been more than happy to outwardly complain, you were simply too sick of it to even try. sick sick of your parents, sick of it all. maybe tonight you could even do the mature thing and finally apologize to lauda; yet, you couldn't tell whether or not it was actually going to bring an end to lauda's games with you, he seemed to be enjoying it too much. - after a vaguely long car ride, you finally arrived at what you quickly realized was lauda's house, you could already see people on the balcony chatting away and you could hear music playing from inside. exiting the car and shutting the door behind you, you quickly trotted to catch up with your parents who were already walking over the door by the time you'd gotten out; in the back of your mind, you gave a silent prayer that you'd be able to sneak away at some point and find your own space, hopefully even get a chance to have a smoke if you found a quiet enough corner. opening the door and heading inside, your parents were instantly enthralled with the music and sheer amount of people in lauda's house, all nursing champagne and chatting away; already you could tell they couldn't wait to join. keeping your eyes peeled for lauda, it didn't take long for your parents to lose you in the crowd; you would have laughed if it didn't happen so often, and you couldn't exactly say you minded anyway. it only took another minute or so of moving through people to find the balcony you had seen upon exiting the car. making a beeline for it, you stepped out and enjoyed the slightly fresher air, breathing a sigh of relief as you were no longer squished in between groups of people to such an intense degree. reaching for your packet of cigarettes and taking one out to place in between your lips, you had only just begun to reach for your new lighter when you had to cut your relief short. "that's quite a sour face to wear at a party, no?" you didn't even hide the disappointment on your face as you turned to face lauda, rolling your eyes. you were well past hiding your distaste for him. now you'd had more than enough time to realize it was very much your own fault, you'd given him a reason to annoy you when you'd not only leaned on his car and then given him an attitude, but had you known that wasn't the only time you'd see him, you would have at least been nicer about it. noticing your expression, he placed a hand over his heart mockingly and let out a hurt sound. "if looks could kill." his smirk was ever present, digging into your nerves like nails against a chalkboard as you placed your hands in your pockets, not saying anything as you kept your cigarette placed between your lips, hoping that just maybe, you'd have a break from him, obviously a stupid hope. only raising his hand, you quickly noticed the lighter in his hand, ignited and placed at the end of your cigarette. out of reflex, you inhaled, reaching up to place the paper cylinder between your fingers and pulling it away from your lips, blowing the smoke out of the side of your mouth. it wasn't until you took a slightly closer look at the lighter that you realised. your lighter. he had your lighter, the one you'd lost the first time you met. you wanted to mentally slap a hand on your forehead then and there, of course you'd left it, only for him to find. holding out your hand expectantly, he pulled it away before you could grasp your lighter, going so far as to mock you as if you were a child with a small "ah ah ah" painfully reminded of your time in school as a small child, you huffed and rolled your eyes, reaching for it once more only for it to be pulled from your gasp once more. "come now, you know the magic word, yes? you learn this in school, little girl?" his mocking toned was worsened as he leaned down slightly to talk to your at your level, only resulting in you placing a hand on your hip an glaring up at him. this look only worsened his stupid grin as he raised his eyes brows, waiting for you to say said magic word. putting on your best sarcastic smile, you made your voice as annoying as you could possibly muster, shaking your head as you spoke. "please?" you extended it slightly, as if you were a child asking for their toy back. and as laced with sarcasm as it was, he still responded with a loud "wunderbar!" raising his arms up slightly as if he were celebrating. finally handing you your lighter, you snatched at it, placing it back in your pocket and reaching up to take another inhale of your cigarette as you glared up at him. shaking his head, lauda's gaze paired with that signature smirk stared down at you as he looked at you almost in an odd sort of admiration. "you're a real brat, you know this?" you most definitely couldn't lie, that was not the first time you'd been given that title; countless times actually, school teachers, your parents, relatives, even ex partners. it was now your turn to wear a smirk as you raised your eyebrows, raising your hands up in defense. "i can't lie." you spoke, tilting your head and shrugging your shoulders. your response, for the first time, seemed to catch lauda off guard, possibly expecting you to have defended yourself rather than embrace the title. "maybe i like being a brat, lauda." you narrowed your eyes, proud of yourself for finally seeming to put a chip in this mans ego. his eyes only narrowed in return, his face taking on a new expression that couldn't quite be place as you took another drag of your cigarette, really nailing in your point hard as you blew the smoke right in his face with no hesitation and a smirk as you placed your thumb between your teeth, grinning. "how many times have i told you to call me niki?" his tone was darker this time, more authority slipping against his words. you wanted to blame being caught up in the moment or finally being able to break this mans cocky exterior, but something about the tone of his voice and the way he spoke to you, it produced butterflies within your stomach that you tried with all of your might to ignore. tilting your head, you took a step forward to ensure he would hear you over the music as you lowered your voice, leaning in slightly. "or what?" even if somebody were unable to hear your expression, they'd be able to hear the smile in your voice. shifting your weight from foot to foot, you kept eye contact with niki as you leaned back, his eyes not leaving yours for one moment, narrowed at you, making you think for a solid moment of two that he was genuinely angry at you. without any sort of warning or sign, lauda's hand lurched forward, gripping your wrist, not so tightly that it hurt, but most certainly enough to get your attention as he pulled you towards him, so close that your chests were touching as he looked down at you. "watch that tone with me." his growling voice was most certainly affecting you as he seemed to recognize that the both of you were getting very invested in whatever the fuck dynamic you had created. as invested as he was, in an odd way, you could still see in his eyes he was watching for any signs of making you uncomfortable, almost as if he was telling you he'd stop the moment you were uncomfortable. "and if i dont? are you going to bend me over your knee?" you leaned in slightly as you teased him, so much so that you bet he could smell the smoke on your breath as neither of you broke eye contact. whether it was the image of you bent over his knee or the fact that you had only continued to tease him you didn't know; what you did know however, was that that was the last straw for him as he kept his grip on your wrist. wasting no time leading you back inside, barely giving you time to flick your cigarette off of his balcony before you were weaving through crowds of people, almost tripping over your own platform boots as you were led wherever he was planning on taking you. obviously knowing his own house like the back of his hand, it didn't take long for the two of you to arrive where you were heading. his bedroom. quickly opening the door and shoving you in lightly, he shut it behind him, not even hiding the slam as he turned to face you, his eyes still dark as you stood there, still smirking and biting your lip. "wasn't sure whether or not i'd be able to get a rise out of you, glad i know no-" your words were cut up by him quickly walking towards you and gripping your chin with his large hand, squeezing your cheeks together slightly as he other hand gripped your wrist once more. "you've been nothing but a little brat since the moment i met you, it seems to me you must like pissing me off. is that it? you like knowing how much you make my cock hard when you prance around in those little skirts and give me backchat?" his tone alone was already enough to only widen your grin, but the things he was saying were adding to the butterflies in your stomach. determined not to give up your attitude just yet, you let go of any and all control you'd been holding onto, reaching forward to clamp your hand onto his thigh, dangerously close to where you could already see an outline forming. his only response to your touch was a sharp intake as his eyes closed momentarily, only to snap back open as he shoved you backwards, briefly scaring you before you fell back onto his bed. looking up at him as he stood above you, his legs touching your knees, you could see how his chest rose and fell with every deep breath he took. his eyes raked over your body, observing every part of where your dress rode up, and then back up to meet your gaze, only to begin undoing the statement buckle on his belt, once again watching you for any signs of being uncomfortable as he continued. only widening your smirk, he seemed to get the message as he completely discarded the belt on his rug floor. as he began to fiddle with the button and zipper on his jeans, he leaned forward to land on his knees on the bed, above you and staring you down. "as much i'd love to play with you until your crying and screaming my name, i need to bury myself in that pretty little pussy of yours." his voice was breathy as he leaned forward, using his knee to push your legs apart, your mini skirt already riding up enough for him to get a full view of your underwear. you couldn't find it in yourself to say anything else, already convincing yourself that this was all some sick dream of yours and now you were going to wake up no longer able to look niki in the eye. his lower half disappeared from your view as he finally put weight on top of you, through you could still hear the fabric of his jeans shifting as he settled in between your legs. even through the fabric separating the two of you, you both shivered when you felt your hips make contact, letting out shaky breaths as you looked up at him and he looked down at you. as much as you expected him to take things at least slightly slow, he did the opposite, wasting no time as he moved your own fabric to the side, only sliding his tip along your entrance softly in order to brace yourself and give you another chance to stop him if you had changed your mind. only placing a hand on his cheek and nodding quickly, did he respond with a similar nod before entering you quickly and with little no mercy. you were unable to stop yourself from leaning for head back and crying out loudly, only for niki's hand to clasp over your mouth as he looked down at you. "i know the music is loud, but i need you to, oh sheibe-" he cut himself off by inhaling sharply, groaning softly and shutting his eyes as he began to move inside you, his hips rotating ever so slightly as they moved back and fourth, only resulting in you moaning into his hand. "i know the music is loud, but i need you to be quiet for me, can you do that?" his voice was so low it was almost coming out as a growl as he continued to thrust into you as he spoke, trying not to keep groaning in between his words as he shut his eyes tightly and cursed in german once more. you couldn't like, he was a stretch for you, there was pain at first but it had quickly begun shifting into pleasure as he continued and you became more used to the way he felt inside you. you knew there was an element of time involved lest he be missed at his own party, god forbid one of the guests go looking for him especially seeing as you were almost certain that door hadn't been locked. continued to thrust, his hands found there way on your back as he rose to his knees, taking you with him and sitting you on his lap, forcing you to wrap your arms around his neck for support as he effectively began to bounce you on his cock. the only thing you were able to do to stop your whimpers and moans from being heard was to bury your head in his neck, his head turning slightly to the side to bury itself in your hair. beginning to help him out slightly by bouncing yourself on his lap, you felt your hips beginning to cramp and ache but brought yourself to ignore the pain as it was currently outweighed by the sheer amount of pleasure you felt as he fucked you. growling into your hair, you felt his head move back so that he could begin leaving love bites on the parts of your neck that weren't covered by your dress; you couldn't even pay attention to the fact that you would have to walk back out into that party with love bites for all to see, your parents especially. part of you just hoped there would be no way to link them back to niki. picking up speed, you began to bounce faster on niki's lap as he too began to go faster, feeling the muscles within your stomach starting to tighten as rationality left your body and adrenaline took over. in that moment, nothing felt more important than chasing your high, knowing it was only on the horizon. it seemed niki was feeling the same way as he growled deeply, pulling his head away to look into your eyes as he gripped your hips and slammed them against his own with little to no mercy, caring little for the bruising that would no doubt be left over the next day. it hadn't taken much more of this for you be a whimpering mess, feeling yourself tighten quickly around niki's cock, only to begin hearing the sloppy sounds of your wetness slapping while niki still continued to essentially jackhammer into you, still chasing his own high. as you began to come down from your orgasm, the sensitivity of niki still fucking you relentlessly had you whimpering and panting as you once again buried your head in his shoulder, trying to remain as quiet as you could, though this was proving to be a difficult task. it wasn't long before you felt niki twitching from inside you, only to followed by the hot feeling of him cumming deeply inside you, his own deep and guttural moans releasing from his throat, cutting themselves off occasionally as he twitched and leaned his head back, his mouth hanging open as he shut his eyes. collapsing backwards, niki fell on top of you, panting with his brown curly locks sticking to his forehead as he laid his head on your chest. post orgasm high, you both seemed to let reality hit you as you looked at each other, realizing you'd both been missing from the party for longer than you thought, exchanging no words apart from a few worried sounds of alertness as you scrambled off of one another, quickly righting yourselves. it had only taken another two minutes or so to appear semi inconspicuous as you finally made your way back to his door, bracing yourselves before opening it and stepping out, only to see your parents walking towards you, quickly spotting you and calling your name. "where have you been? we've been looking for you everywhere, have you seen niki? he went missing an-" before you could even try to find a valid explanation, through they hadn't seemed very concerned for you and more so for niki's whereabouts, you felt niki walk up behind you, leaning against the door frame and greeting your parents. "she got lost." he began, placing a hand on your shoulder, cool as ever, as if minutes ago he hadn't just been fucking your brains out. "i was showing her photos from past races. lets get a drink, yes?" quickly deflecting from any questions they may have as to why you both just exited his bedroom, niki began to lead them to where they could get a drink, leaving you, shaking your head at the fact that they actually fucking bought that. - it was hours later that the party was actually beginning to wrap up, drunken people being led back to taxi's and niki saying goodbye to guests as the music had now stopped and there had been one to many neighbourly complaints. you were unsure whether or not you should try to go and say goodbye to niki, post sex clarity was no proposing a very awkward question as to where the fuck that had left the two of you now; you weren't even afraid to admit that the idea of having any other interaction with niki from this point forward scared the fuck out of you. one could argue that it was all spur of the moment, and you hadn't really had time to communicate whatsoever afterwards, distracted by the fact that you were scrambling to get your clothes back on. you weren't even sure yourself what you wanted it to be, it felt more like a situation of you didn't want to find out. and yet, once again, your wishes were ignored by whatever higher power was controlling things, because as you were walking back to the car with your parents, still trying to make any sort of sense of what had transpired, you heard the voice behind you calling after your parents. turning, you placed your hands in your pockets as you watched niki wish your parents a goodnight, letting your mother kiss him on the cheek as well as let your father give him a firm handshake as thanks occurred. he looked over at you only briefly, his eyes and expression next to unreadable as he quickly looked back at your parents, offering to walk them to their car. turning around quickly, you began to walk quickly to the car, unfortunately slowed down by your boots as your parents soon overtook you, leaving you and niki almost side by side behind them. though neither of you said anything, your eyes widened when you felt his hand fall on your lower back, then soon to your backside, giving it a squeeze that made you jump slightly, turning your head to look at him with an annoyed and wide eyed look, only to once again be met with that same fucking smirk. as you finally caught up with your parents, they only turned as niki pulled his hand away, thankfully missing the fact that he'd done that as they thanked him for a good night. opening the car door, you were immediately met with a sharp look from your father. "maybe you should say goodnight to niki, seeing as he was so generous as to extend the invitation to you." your father said slightly under his breath in a warning tone, only to turn back to niki. "sorry, she can be such a little brat sometimes." by the look on niki's face, you could see him holding in a smirk as he shook his head dismissively and waving his hand. "ah, its fine. i don't mind at all." he finished his sentence by wishing you a goodnight, only now extending the smirk to you as you stared back at him for a moment, slightly still in shock that your parents could be just that clueless. "goodnight, niki." you finally said, wasting no time getting in your seat and shutting the door.

#daniel brühl #Daniel Bruhl #daniel bruhl x reader #niki lauda #niki lauda rush #niki lauda x reader #niki lauda smut #baron zemo #baron zemo x reader #baron zemo smut #daniel bruhl smut #goodbye lenin #the alienist #ladies in lavender #rush 2013 #rush

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wonlouvre · 3 years

Note

hello! i see your requests are open again 😌 can i request jeonghan x reader, enemies to lovers kinda thing maybe where they have the same friends but jeonghan & reader always clash etc etc fluff at the end idk

i know you’ll come up with something amazing as always, do what you want with it 😘🥰💗

balance | y. jh.

pairing: jeonghan x reader genre: enemies to lovers (kind of), fluff warnings: heights, ski mountain mechanical malfunctions (you know, dangling in the air kind of thing) word count: 1.5k (i got carried away, im sorry)

💌: thank you so much for requesting!!! this was honestly fun to write although there was little to none banter, i’m so sorry :’( thank you for trusting me! i hope you like it <3 i will try to post at least two drabbles/requests per week :)

To you, Yoon Jeonghan was the type of person that looked like he would trample all over your principles in life. It’s a little dramatic of you but he can’t blame you for thinking so. He’s cocky, annoying and full of shit. The two of you stepped off on the wrong foot when he thought it was funny to pour sparkling water on your instant noodles as a prank during one of the traditional ski trips your group of friends always hold.

Soonyoung introduced him on what was supposed to be the best trip of your life only to get ruined when he made fun of you. Although technically speaking, your cup wasn’t the only victim of his shenanigan because the rest of your friends complained and threw it at the perpetrator before they could even finish eating. But you were hungry and stubborn, so you didn’t let it go.

Ever since then, despite not confronting him, Jeonghan’s energy and wholebeing never clicked with yours. You barely speak a word to him and you rarely hang out with him, unlike with every single one of your friends. He hasn’t noticed and even if he did, you’re sure he could care less. Which is fine by you. The instant noodle prank is history and now that this year’s ski trip will be your third with him, you have just gotten used to ignoring his existence.

“Jeonghan’s staring at you,” Seungcheol says, startling you.

Your eyes throw daggers at him, not because he startled you, but because of what he said.

The tall man nudges your shoulder with his. “I’m not lying. Give him a glance and then you’ll see.”

To set the record straight, you don’t have a grudge on Jeonghan for who he is. It’s more of what he does that gives a bad impression on you. Aside from the noodle incident, you noticed how much he takes pride in teasing and playing with the gullible younger ones and you hate him for that. It’s a good laugh every once in a while but it can hurt feelings at times and you don’t want that. He also likes to disagree and debate with everyone (you’re just glad you haven’t been a victim yet). When everyone else says yes, he’ll boldly say no. That’s how moronic he is to be friends with.

Of course you acknowledge his good deeds. Whether you like to admit it or not, Jeonghan is a great friend. He is a beacon of strength among you knowing that he’s one of the oldest in the group. He knows where and when to have fun. He knows when to be there for anyone who needs him. He’s supportive. He’s loving. He’s more than okay.

You’re just turning a blind eye because you’re still petty.

It has come to your attention that apparently, Jeonghan has been harboring a crush on you. It’s a stupid rumor and you choose to ignore it because why. Why would he have a crush on you? You try confirming if it’s true by looking at him and observing his actions whenever he’s not paying attention. But to no avail, nothing special stood out.

In fact, it seems like all the staring and observation made you develop a crush on him. Now that’s even more annoying.

You roll your eyes at Seungcheol’s nonsense and walk away from him to go to Jeongyeon who’s currently checking in everyone to the hotel. You might as well help her register everyone to all the activities you will be participating in.

“Collect their IDs,” she orders without looking up from the form she’s writing on. “And tell them to fall in line so they can sign the consent form.”

“Told you we should have filled out the online form before getting here,” your complaint doesn’t go unheard by your friend who only glares at you, scaring you to immediately obey her instructions.

“IDs please,” you ask with your hand out and your friends happily complied as they chatted through the waiting time. You walk around to make sure you have everyone’s and as you double check, one last ID was missing.

“You didn’t forget about me, did you?”

The devil himself, Yoon Jeonghan.

You take a deep deep breath before turning around and face the handsome face you’ve been sick of. Wait, did you just call him handsome?!

Jeonghan flashes his signature smirk while pulling his wallet out from his pocket, picking one of the many cards inside it to hand to you. His gloveless fingers grazes yours and it concerns you why it made your heart skip a beat. You avoid his gaze and everything else about him and run back to Jeongyeon who’s the one asking for these in the first place.

You heard his low chuckle and you wish you could wipe off his annoying grin with your fist.

Moving on from what happened in the early afternoon, the rest of the day was pleasant enough for you and your friends to continue. Everyone had lunch at the local restaurant first before doing the group activities. It’s a good thing none of you are afraid of heights (except for Dokyeom, but he manages). Soonyoung leading everyone to hike the safe side of the snow covered mountain wasn’t a problem for him.

After the quick mountain hike, you all scattered to have fun and decided to meet up for dinner in the evening. You, Jeongyeon, Dokyeom and much to your dismay, Jeonghan all went up to snowboard.

The lift was supposed to carry the four of you up to the starting point before your adrenaline descend, but Dokyeom suddenly felt a wave of fear of heights and needed to calm down for a few minutes. He tells you to go on ahead and you did. You just didn’t expect Jeonghan to be accompanying you instead of Jeongyeon.

You hide your disappointment and bewilderment as you make yourself comfortable. It’s awkward but it doesn’t matter. You’re just going to keep quiet and avoid looking Jeonghan’s way. This ride will probably not be a good ten minutes, right?

Jeonghan holds onto his snowboard while you place yours on the floor. A barrier of some sort to distance yourself from him. Your eyes are glued to your feet, watching them move from side to side. You also distract yourself from admiring the view outside the window, but it’s hard when you can feel his eyes burning holes on the back of your head.

“Y/N.”

You hate it. You hate it. You hate it.

Why does your name sound so melodic coming from his mouth?

You turn your head and raise your eyebrows, waiting for him to continue.

But the lift doesn’t let him because it suddenly stops mid-air, echoes of metals clanking and brakes screeching following suit. The abrupt stop causes the lift to shake a little, making you hold onto the metal bars out of fear.

“Ladies and gentlemen, there has been a mechanical malfunction of the lifts and our engineers are repairing it now at this moment. We apologize for the inconvenience and fear that this has caused. We request everyone to remain calm and seated…”

The announcement falls deaf to your ears because all you hear is ringing. You’re not afraid of heights at all. But you have never experienced an incident like this before. You’ve heard and read about it and not all of them ended well.

“Hey,” Jeonghan’s voice snaps you out of your dilemma.

You blink away your tears and clutch your chest to calm your heart that’s beating faster and faster.

“Y/N?” Jeonghan calls for you again, but this time he’s reaching his hand out. “You’ll be fine. Here, take my hand.”

Jeonghan probably noticed the panic in your eyes. So, after throwing away your doubts outside the window, you carefully move a little closer to him but not beside him as you don’t want to ruin the balance of the lift. You unclench your fist and finally take hold of his waiting hand.

Jeonghan’s warm palm and genuine smile calms you down. Your heartbeat slows down and your breathing goes back to normal. Your eyebrows furrow in both fear and embarrassment. You question the universe how and why did this have to happen.

“Hey, don’t cry.”

“I’m not!”

Jeonghan giggles at your outburst and you don’t know if that’s music to your ears or if it just makes you want to punch his handsome face more.

“I like you Y/N,” he suddenly confesses and you grimace.

“I like you too,” you confess back, tightly gripping his hand. “But now is not the time, Yoon Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan bites back a smile that says he’s in love and just gently caresses your hand. It’s unbelievable how the opportunity arose itself right at this moment, but it was now or never for him. He’d explain how much he likes you in detail later. For now, he’s okay with this.

“But, later though?”

“Yes, now shut up before I throw you out first.”

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wikiangela-fanfics · 3 years

Text

Heartbeat

Ao3 here

This is dumb. I was listening to Enrique Iglesias and when I heard 'Hearbeat' I had this idea and decided to write it and, well, it sucks haha

Wasn't sure if I even wanna post this, but fuck it 🤷

It doesn't make any sense, I don't know what this is,

But enjoy, I guess hah 😅🖤

***

Bucky was a super soldier. That was common knowledge. And what it meant was having super strength, being super fast, having enhanced senses… like enhanced hearing. And look, by now he got used to it. He could just tune out certain sounds, or focus on that certain thing he wanted to hear. But there was one thing that he kept hearing, even though he didn’t try not to.

No matter how hard he tried to resist, his super hearing became really sensitive to Sam’s heartbeat. Which was crazy, and he didn’t exactly understand it. Just, whenever he was in a close vicinity with Sam, his ears were picking up on his heartbeat. In a short time he knew what even the smallest change meant.

What shocked him the most, was how it changed around Bucky.

How it would get a little quicker every time Bucky smiled at Sam - which he didn’t notice at the beginning, but he was observant.

How it would skip a beat whenever their hands accidentally touched, when they hugged, when there was any kind of physical contact, really.

After a while, Bucky even started noticing Sam’s heartbeat quicken when Bucky simply walked into the room where Sam was. And that’s because his super hearing started to pick up Sam even when they weren’t in the same room, somehow.

Honestly, the fact that he heard all that and physically couldn’t tune it out made him feel invasive and a little creepy, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. Again, he really tried not to do that.

Now, Bucky wasn’t stupid. He knew what it meant. He observed Sam and his behavior for a while after he started noticing this. He knew Sam’s heartbeat around others, while doing different activities, and he knew the difference. He knew how Sam felt about him.

And he felt the same way about Sam. His heart was doing all the same things as Sam’s. Plus, he kept thinking about him. He wanted to always be around him, though at the same time keep his distance, because hearing his heartbeat was intense and overwhelming, and hearing it on top of everything else was sometimes making his head hurt. He loved Sam’s smile, his stupid unfunny jokes that Bucky laughed at anyway, his movie references Bucky rarely got, but also how kind, good, and amazing he was. Bucky was just… so in love. He could list things he loved about Sam without end. He couldn’t imagine his life without Sam anymore, in whatever way he could have it, even if he tried.

But he didn’t want to ruin their friendship, especially at the beginning. And then with more and more time passing by, them becoming more comfortable with each other, becoming best friends, it became harder to both ignore the feelings, or gather courage to admit it. That’s when Bucky’s hearing started to hyper focus on Sam’s heartbeat and Bucky got the confirmation he needed - that Sam felt something for him too. Still, it was difficult. Because there was a possibility he was wrong.

With more and more time passing, he was getting more sure, but, to be honest, he was just scared. So he decided to keep ignoring those feelings, and wait until whatever was gonna happen between them happened - because he had no doubt it would eventually. For now, though, he decided to keep those feelings to himself. Until finally he couldn’t do it anymore.

***

They were in Delacroix, sitting at the docks, drinking beer, talking and just relaxing. Well, Sam was doing most of the talking, as usual. Bucky enjoyed listening to him talk, like he always did. But then Sam said something that made Bucky laugh, and suddenly Sam’s heart skipped a beat, reminding Bucky that, oh yeah, he could still hear it. Fuck, Sam was in love. And it made Bucky extremely happy, but constantly hearing it made him feel not only annoyed, but also just bad.

Still, he looked at Sam and saw him already looking at Bucky and smiling, and Bucky couldn’t not smile back. That’s when he heard Sam’s heartbeat quicken, just a little bit, but Bucky was really sensitive and attentive to every smallest change.

For some reason, that was the moment he couldn’t handle it anymore. His smile dropped and he quickly got up.

“What’s-” Sam started to ask, also slowly getting up, but Bucky interrupted him.

“I can’t, uh-” he exhaled heavily. “Sorry, I gotta go.”

“Go where?” Sam seemed confused. “Is something wrong?”

“Yeah, yeah there is.” Bucky ran his hand through his hair. “I can’t stop hearing- fuck.”

“Hearing what?” Sam tried to put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder, but Bucky moved away. “Buck, you’re starting to worry me.” yeah, Bucky got that. He heard his heart start beating like it did when he was concerned.

“I feel insane, you know?” Bucky chuckled. This was ridiculous. “It’s gonna sound insane, and really bad, but don’t judge me, I really don’t have control over it.”

“No judgement here. Ever. Cross my heart.”

“Okay.” Bucky took a deep breath. “For a while now, I haven’t been able to- to stop hearing your heartbeat.” he more mumbled the last part, but he was embarrassed having to admit it. “My hearing just focuses on it, and it’s always there, in the background, even when you’re in the next room.” he wasn’t looking at Sam as he was talking, not wanting to see his expression. “It’s the only thing I can’t tune out. And it’s driving me crazy. I can hear your reaction to literally everything, including-” he sighed. “Including me.”

“Oh.” Sam said. He tried for a calm tone, but Bucky knew he was nervous. “And you, uh, you don’t like how, um, I react to you?”

“What?” Bucky looked at him now. Sam seemed unsure. “That’s not it at all, Sam. That I’m happy about. I just, it’s overwhelming. And it makes me feel like I’m invading your privacy, which I am doing, but I really don’t mean to.” he hoped he sounded as genuine as he felt. “I’m sorry, I’ve been trying not to listen. It’s not happening with anyone else, I don’t know-” he exhaled loudly again. “It’s just frustrating. I’m so sorry.” he repeated.

“Bucky, it’s fine.” Sam rolled his eyes. “You could’ve just told me.”

“And then what?” Bucky scoffed. “We’d just stop hanging out because of it?”

“We’d find a way to fix this. There has to be a reason, right?” Sam tentatively reached out again, putting his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “We can deal with this.”

“And you’re not mad?” Bucky asked doubtfully.

“Dude, how many times can we go through this?” Sam asked incredulously. “I can’t be mad at something outside of your control, okay? Besides, it’s just my heartbeat. Why would it be a big deal to listen to it? It’s not my thoughts.”

“You can find out surprisingly a lot by just listening to someone’s heartbeat and observing what caused different reactions.” he pointed out.

“Oh, really? And what did you find out?” Sam grinned, his heart quickening, probably already knowing what Bucky was gonna say.

“That, um, apparently-” Bucky cleared his throat, gathering his courage to say it. Here goes nothing. “Apparently you feel about me the same way I feel about you. If I read that correctly.”

“Well, that’s not ambiguous at all.” Sam rolled his eyes again. Then he moved his hand from Bucky’s shoulder to his cheek. Bucky felt his own heart start pounding in his chest. “So, if I am reading this correctly, uh- you’d be okay with me kissing you?” Sam asked, his voice shaky, heart beating as fast as Bucky’s, slowly bringing his face closer to Bucky’s.

“God, yes.” Bucky exhaled, and that’s when Sam linked their lips. And at that moment, their heartbeats, beating in the same rhythm, were the only thing Bucky could hear. All that existed was just them. It was amazing, and beautiful, and so much more than Bucky could’ve imagined. It felt long and short at the same time, and Bucky felt so much, he felt as if his every enhanced sense was working at the highest possible setting, and it was one of the most insane experiences he’s had. When they pulled apart, he felt lightheaded, and almost drunk, if he remembered correctly what feeling drunk felt like.

“You know, maybe the reason you couldn’t tune out only my heartbeat,” Sam started, leaning his forehead against Bucky’s, “is that you stole my heart and it’s yours now.”

“That was so cheesy.” Bucky laughed, not able to stop himself.

“Fuck you.” Sam pushed him away playfully, also laughing. “I’m trying to tell you I love you, and you're making fun of me.”

“Could’ve found better words for it.” Bucky shrugged, a huge grin not disappearing from his face. “I love you too.” he added, his voice softer now.

“Now go fuck yourself.” Sam said, amusement clear in his voice, as he sat down. Bucky just laughed and sat down next to Sam. “I’m serious, I take it all back.” he tried to make his expression serious, but failed. He couldn’t contain a smile, but he was looking ahead, not turning towards Bucky.

“Sure you are.” Bucky rolled his eyes. “I can hear when you’re lying.”

“Shit. Maybe it is an invasion of privacy. Should I be mad about it?”

“Yeah.” Bucky immediately responded. “But please don’t. I wanna kiss you again, and I have a feeling it won’t happen if you’re mad at me.” he added, leaning into Sam and putting his chin on Sam’s shoulder, so that his nose was against Sam’s cheek. Sam chuckled.

“Fine.” he sighed theatrically, then turning his head towards Bucky, bumping their noses. “I guess I can make out with you a little. And we’ll deal with the whole eavesdropping on my heartbeat stuff later.”

“That’s fine by me.” Bucky responded, because despite it still being intense and overwhelming, he felt a little better knowing Sam wasn’t mad about it. And that he knew about it now. So it wasn’t like, well, eavesdropping.

Bucky kissed Sam again, forgetting about anything else but the man next to him. They’d deal with whatever they have to deal with later. For now, he was happy, finally getting to express his feelings to the man he loved - getting to make out with him was even better, because damn, Sam was a good kisser. And being this close to Sam, Bucky could not only hear his heartbeat, but feel it, too. Sam was overwhelming all his senses, but for once, Bucky wasn’t gonna complain.

#sambucky #sambucky fic #sambucky oneshot #oneshot #fluff #first kiss #getting together #eavesdropping #kinda #this is one of the dumbest things I've written #I blame the song I was listening to when this idea came to my mind #they're in love #but the fic is dumb #I don't even know what to tag #also if anyone's here - I'm writing a multichapter post-tws sambucky fic you can find on my ao3 or here on my blog #also i think i kida like this one despite it being really dumb? idk hah #sambucky fluff

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queenshelby · 3 years

Text

THE SECRET - part three of four

Featuring: Cillian Murphy x Virgin!Reader

Words: 5,223

Warning: Smut, Age Gap

Tag List: @lilymurphy03 @deefigs

@chrisevanshoeeee @desperate-and-broken

@weepingstudentfishhorse @fookingshelby @livinginfantaxy

@atomicsoulcollecto @datewithgianni @mariapaiva13

Good Morning

After five orgasms, you decided that you were finally satisfied and, following almost five hours of passionate sex with a pizza delivery in between, you allowed Cillian to get some rest at about 1am. You figured that, after all, he’s more than double your age so sleep was probably something he needed more than you.

Regardless of your young age, you thought that you would both be exhausted the following morning but, that night, you could barely sleep.

You were ravaged with energy and wild thoughts about the man lying next to you.

Never, even in your wildest dreams, would you have imagined your first time being anything like this. Passionate and full of desire.

Your friends had all told you horror stories about their first times so you were positively surprised. It was pure pleasure and you didn’t want Cillian to stop making love to you and send waves of energy through your body.

After that, whilst you were incredibly satisfied, you were also incredibly sore. It’s not that Cillian hadn’t warned you about that. But you kept insisting on him giving you more and more and now you were clearly paying for it.

Cillian, on the other hand, was fast asleep. His body was certainly relaxed and comfortable. Not even a bolt of thunder could have wakened him after your fun filled activities. He didn’t even have to time to worry about how you would explain your absence that night to Emma when she found out.

You no longer worried about it. Emma still thought that you were seeing Finn despite you telling her that you weren’t. She didn’t believe you.

At about 6am you could not lie in bed anymore and decided to walk downstairs to get some coffee for you and Cillian.

You quickly wrapped your dress around you and borrowed one of Cillian’s jumpers to walk downstairs. The jumper was black and simple with a hood. It was an Irish clothing brand of some sort and you loved the smell of his aftershave on it.

The hotel restaurant just opened but, to your surprise, you weren’t the only one in need for coffee.

There was Anthony, the show’s director, getting ready for work while enjoying his cappuccino.

‘Nice outfit Y/N’ he laughed as you walked into the restaurant. You clearly looked out of place wearing a dress, sandals and oversized hoodie.

‘Oh thanks. I thought I would change things up a bit. I’ve heard it’s trendy now’ you giggled as you stood there, sore and noticeably uncomfortable.

You ordered two coffees, one double shot espresso and a latte.

‘Double Shot Espresso? Is that for you?’ he laughed. It was an unusual order and he only knew one other person on set who was ordering coffee as strong as this and that person was Cillian.

‘Uhm no’ you said shyly, hoping for no further questions from Anthony.

‘Jesus, Emma must have had a big night with her sister in town then’ he said before he excused himself to make his way to set.

You couldn’t help but giggle at Anthony’s comment and, shortly after you got your coffees, made your way back up to Cillian’s apartment.

You put his jumper back onto the chair and woke him up by giving him a kiss on the cheek.

‘Good Morning Sleepyhead’ you said as you put his coffee onto the bedside table.

‘Hey, good morning’ he said, rubbing his eyes. He instantly smelled the coffee and, after giving you a kiss, reached for the cup on the bedside table.

‘Thank you’ he said gently before asking you how you were feeling.

‘A bit sore’ you said with a smile on your face.

‘I am sorry’ he said like a true gentlemen before pulling you closer for another kiss.

After you had your coffee and spent some time making out with Cillian you made your way back to your apartment to have a shower and get changed.

Emma had already left for set and you were glad for it. You didn’t really want to explain yourself.

One part of you hated having to keep your relationship with Cillian a secret while the other part of you believed that, for the moment, it was defiantly the right thing to do.

On Set Dilemmas

Later that morning, on set, Emma met with Anthony before her scene with you.

Before you arrived, they had the opportunity to make some small talk and Anthony couldn’t help it but mention the coffee order you placed at the hotel restaurant at 6am.

‘That espresso obviously got you going Em’ Anthony laughed as Emma came walking towards him full of energy, building up some exhaustion for her next scene.

‘Espresso? I don’t even drink coffee’ she laughed.

‘You don’t? Now that is interesting. I walked into Y/N this morning buying you an espresso’ he said.

‘Y/N?’ Emma asked, before starting to laugh.

‘What’s so funny?’ Anthony asked.

‘Y/N has not been home. The coffee wasn’t for me’ Emma laughed.

‘Oh right, gotcha. Who’s the lucky guy?’ Anthony asked.

‘I think it’s Finn, but I cannot be certain’ Emma said with a giggle.

‘Finn? Yeah, I can see that’ Anthony smiled before he saw you approach him and Emma.

Anthony quickly changed the topic and began talking about the scene between you and Emma.

It took two takes to get it right and Anthony was quite happy with both of your progression.

The next week went uneventful and Cillian kept his distance from you on set. You didn’t have many scenes together during this time.

Nonetheless, you managed to sleep over at his apartment twice during this time raising Emma’s suspicions even further.

Cillian knew that some people on set were thinking that you were involved with Finn and it didn’t bother him until Finn finally found the courage to actually ask you out.

Thus, just as you were having lunch with Cillian, Finn and Anthony, Finn asked you an uncomfortable question.

‘Y/N, I was wondering if, perhaps, you would like to see a play with me on Saturday. Anthony and his wife are coming too’ Finn said, causing Cillian’s eyebrows to raise.

You took a deep breath, not knowing how to respond. Was he asking for a date or was he just being friendly?

‘Uhm, thank you for the offer, but I can’t. I am sorry. I will be in London for the weekend’ you said shyly while Cillian quietly watched the situation unfold.

‘Alright. Well, let me know if your plans change, ok?’ Finn said, causing you to nod before excusing yourself.

‘I better visit the bathroom before we start the next scene’ you said with a flushed face as you walked off. You were rather uncomfortable by Finn’s question, especially in front of Cillian.

When you were gone, Finn couldn’t help it but discuss the matter further with Anthony and Cillian, seeking some advice from them.

‘I had hoped for a different answer, but hey’ Finn said with disappointment, causing Cillian to look at him with some surprise.

‘Sorry man’ Anthony said. Until that moment, when Finn asked you whether you wanted to go out with him, he was certain that he was the one you were involved with based on Emma’s comments. He felt terrible for suggesting that he bring you along to the play.

‘That’s alright. I probably should have asked her to do something more private. Like dinner or something. Or go and watch a movie’ Finn said, causing Cillian to cross his elbows and raise his eyebrows again. He didn’t like the fact that Finn was interested in you and observed the conservation with silence.

‘Well, I actually thought the rumours that you two were involved with each other were true. That is why I suggested you bring her along to the play’ Anthony said with some embarrassment.

‘I wish they were. But unfortunately, they are not’ Finn laughed before he noticed Cillian’s silence. ‘You are a good matchmaker Cilly. Can you help me out here? Set me up on a date with Y/N or something?’ Finn asked.

‘No man, sorry. I don’t think she is interested to be honest’ Cillian said before also excusing himself. The conversation had clearly become too awkward for him.

After this strange encounter, Cillian returned to his trailer to prepare for the next scene which was to start after the lunch break in about half an hour.

Making a Claim

Not long after he sat down to re-read his script, he heard a knock on the door.

‘Cilly, it’s Y/N’ you said before letting yourself inside.

‘Are you alright?’ you asked as you observed an angry look on Cillian’s face.

‘Yeah, fine’ Cillian sighed, causing you to walk over towards him and press your lips onto his.

‘Yeah, fine?’ you giggled after you broke the kiss. ‘It seems to me that someone is jealous’ you smirked.

‘I am not jealous Y/N, I just don’t like anyone hitting on my girlfriend’ Cillian said.

‘Your girlfriend huh? Well, no one knows that I am your girlfriend’ you said with a giggle. In fact, even you didn’t know this. Until recently, Cillian kept reminding you that he wanted to take things slow especially since you are half his age and he only recently broke up with his ex. That’s a whole new tune coming from him, calling you his girlfriend.

‘I suppose’ Cillian said somewhat annoyed.

‘Well, you know, I also don’t like women hitting on you, yet it happens. Quite often in fact’ you giggled.

‘Oh common, no one hits on me on set’ Cillian laughed.

‘Barb hits on you every day’ you responded.

‘Barb? Seriously?’ Cillian asked.

‘Oh yes. Haven’t you noticed? She likes you a lot. Everyone knows that’ you smirked.

‘She is quite attractive I suppose’ Cillian said sheepishly, causing you to give him a nudge before pressing your lips onto his for a gentle kiss.

Cillian pulled you closer to him, and the kiss became demanding and insistent.

You buried your hands in his hair to pull him closer until, eventually, you had to come up for air.

You had mussed his hair quite badly, but you were certain that yours looked no better.

You stared at each other for a moment, unable to do much more than breathe.

‘Do I seem pissed off?’ Cillian asked lightly, once he had the air to accomplish words.

‘A little bit’ you grinned. ‘I think you’ve been a bit blunt around Finn’ you added.

‘Yes, because he’s hitting on you’ Cillian chuckled.

‘And that makes you territorial, does it?’ you smirked cheekily.

‘Yeah’ Cillian said while cupping your face.

‘Oh yeah? Well, then perhaps you should mark your territory’ you smirked before running your hands over Cillian’s crotch.

‘What if someone comes in?’ Cillian asked with a heavy breath.

‘The trailer locks. Besides…’ you levelled a serious expression at him…’you know what the next scene on my schedule entails, right?’ you asked, reminding Cillian that your character Yvette will be trying to seduce Finn’s character Michael Gray in the next scene after he had a fight with his with Gina. Whilst the seduction would be futile, the scene involved a kiss and some touching.

‘I do’ Cillian said with a deep voice before kissing your neck.

‘He will probably enjoy it’ he then said with some annoyance before he locked the trailer door and pressed his lips back onto yours.

‘Maybe. But then, who can compete with Tommy Shelby eh?’ you smirked as you broke the kiss for a split second before crashing your lips back onto his.

You marvelled at his dexterity and slipped your tongue into his mouth. Cillian groaned deep in his throat in response, a vocalization that you found thoroughly erotic.

‘I want you to fuck me right here’ you said in a haste as your lips drifted apart and you reached for the bulge straining against his black suit pants.

‘I don’t have a condom Y/N. Despite there isn’t much time…’ he said, trying to slow you down and, before he could finish his sentence, you interrupted.

‘I am on the pill. Let’s make this quick’ you said eagerly before kissing him again.

This was all he needed to hear and, with one fluid motion, he pulled you away from the wall and lifted you easily to sit on the counter by the bench.

There was no time for you to get undressed. You had no more than fifteen minutes.

You worked the fly on Cillian’s pants open with little trouble and worked your prize free of his briefs. He was twitching with excitement, and you smiled to see the effect you had upon him.

At the same time, Cillian reached beneath your skirt and slipped your already soaked panties down around your ankles, dropping them to the floor besides you.

His lips met yours again as he rand his fingers through your wet slit a few times before he finally rested his cock against your entrance.

Your combined heat was feverish and you grabbed his cock, rubbing the head up and down your slit, coating him in warmth and wetness.

Cillian groaned and strained towards you, causing you to lean forward to kiss him, as you speared yourself on his hardness.

You know that, unlike other encounters you had, this would not be romantic nor would it be gentle. But that’s not what you wanted anyway. You wanted him to fuck you hard and fast. You wanted him to claim you.

You moaned into his mouth and clutched at his shoulders as he entered you.

‘Shit!’ you exclaimed, breaking this kiss. ‘Fuck!’ you exclaimed again as he thrust up into you with unexpected force.

His hands dug into your ass as he pulled you as close to him as possible.

You kept grounding yourself into him, revelling in the feeling of him inside of you. This was the first time you could feel him like this, the warms of his flesh rubbing against your tight but wet walls.

It was sensational and your hands clutched convulsively at his head.

Cillian nuzzled at your chest in between the opening of your blouse as he pumped his hips to meet yours.

You were so turned on by this point that you felt yourself already teetering on the edge of an orgasm. Usually, you would hold back from coming so quickly, but you were on a tight schedule and allowed yourself to let go.

You nipped gently at Cillian’s earlobe, and between moans, you spoke softly in his ear.

‘I am about to come’ you moaned, causing Cillian to groan. He knew what this meant. Your already tight walls would soon contract around him, sending him over the edge as well.

‘Do you want me to pull out after you do?’ Cillian asked as he continued to thrust into you.

You shook your head. ‘No, I want to feel you come inside of me’ you moaned.

The thought of him coming inside of you turned you both on immensely. It was something you both secretly fantasied about for over a week now.

With his thrusts becoming faster and more forceful, you could feel your orgasm begin to ripple through you, burning up from your core through your body, thrumming through your brain.

With his bare cock inside of you, all of you began to shake.

‘Fuck! Cillian! Yes! Fuck!’ you cried out.

You were certain that you were being too loud, but it was difficult for you to stifle yourself.

‘Shh Y/N’ Cillian chuckled just before he felt your walls clench around his cock, emphasizing his hardness.

He let out a terrific groan, and managed to choke out, ‘Fuck, Y/N’, before you felt the heat of him spurting into you.

He was not much quieter than you were and twitched inside of you, a sensation that extended your own orgasm.

You grasped at one another's bodies, overcome by the intensity. You bit your lip to keep yourself from screaming The strength of your orgasm was overwhelming, and when the shuddering pleasure at last subsided, you panted against Cillian’s shoulder.

Even through the clothes, you could feel his heart racing against you.

As you both came down from your high, you softly kissed each other while Cillian pulled out of you carefully.

You could feel his warm cum leaking out of you but you didn’t bother cleaning yourself up. Instead, you pulled up your panties stopping it from running out of you and down your thighs.

The thought of this drove Cillian absolutely crazy and he was ready for round two. Unfortunately for you, there was no time and, just as he zipped up his pants, you could hear a knock on the door.

‘Ready in five minutes Y/N’ Anthony yelled, causing your face to instantly turn red. How did he know that you were in Cillian’s trailer? Did he hear you?

You quickly straightened up your hair and clothes before walking outside with flushed cheeks.

‘Just rehearsing’ you said with heightened embarrassment as you looked down at the floor and waved your script around as you walked past Anthony.

‘Right, then let’s go’ he said with a laugh.

Accidents Happen

The scene with Finn was difficult for you to film especially now that you knew that he was interested in you.

It became even more difficult when Cillian appeared on set to get ready for his next scene.

Him watching you kiss Finn made you uncomfortable.

The scene was taking place on a boat parked at the canal and there was a lot happening around you. It was cold and raining and there you were, kissing Finn in front of your boyfriend.

After five takes due to the rain, Anthony was finally happy with the material and it was time for you to step off the boat.

It was slippery and, even with the best efforts from the team on set, you ended up falling on the ramp in your red vintage heals.

‘Shit Y/N, are you alright?’ Finn asked as you landed on the floor, taking a blow to your wrist.

Cillian instantly came running over to you and, together with Finn, helped you up from the muddy floor.

‘Now that was embarrassing’ you said, holding back some tears.

‘I think we will stop filming now and I will organise a nurse to see you Y/N’ Anthony said as the rain picked up and it started to thunder.

The outdoor scenes were cancelled for the remainder of the day and Cillian took off his big jacket, wrapping it around you as Finn and him walked with you towards the shelter.

‘Are you alright?’ Cillian asked, his big blue eyes looking into yours while he held your hand.

Anthony and Finn couldn’t help but look at you both, somewhat stunned. But Cillian didn’t care about what it looked like to them. He was worried about you and cared for you deeply.

‘I am fine’ you smiled and Cillian stayed with you until the nurse came and assed your wrist.

It was clearly sprained and you were lucky that it wasn’t broken.

‘I think she will survive mate’ Anthony said to Cillian with a chuckle as sat there and waited for you to be fitted with a wrist support splint.

‘I am just hanging around to see if she needs some help, that’s all’ Cillian responded.

‘Sure mate’ Anthony chuckled, becoming somewhat suspicious about Cillian’s behaviour towards you.

‘I think we will all need a shower and a beer. Meet you guys at the pub at 5?’ he asked, causing both you and Cillian to nod.

After the nurse attended to you and discharged you, you made your way back to your apartment.

Emma was about to leave when you arrived and you texted Cillian, asking him to come over before you would head to the pub together.

Bath Fun

Just as he arrived, your bath was ready. He was ten minutes early, as usual.

‘I will just need to have a quick wash’ you said as you were still covered in mud.

‘That’s alright, I will watch some TV while I wait’ Cillian said as you disappeared into the bathroom.

Unfortunately for you, it wasn’t long until you had to ask Cillian for help.

‘Cillian, can you give me hand please?’ you asked loudly from the bathroom as you tried to open the wrist support splint yourself without success.

‘Why don’t you leave it on and I will help you?’ he asked after he came inside the bathroom.

‘Alright, but no fooling around. We are already late’ you said.

‘Of course not’ Cillian smirked as just as he got undressed.

‘Uhm what are you doing?’ you asked surprised, unsure why he needed to get undressed in order to help you wash your hair and back.

‘Well, I am getting into the bath with you. Just to make it easier for the both of us of course’ Cillian said.

‘Of course’ you giggled as he helped you in the bathtub before getting in behind you.

Cillian went straight to business and began washing your back with the soft sponge.

That feels great’ you said, closing your eyes.

Cillian then grabbed the handheld shower head and rinsed your hair with the hot water. Next, he grabbed the body wash and soaped up your back.

Once your back was done, he reached around and washed your front where his soapy hands found your breasts and rubbed them thoroughly, his fingers playing with your nipples.

As he did, you noticed Cillian’s erection getting bigger by the second, his hard cock poking against your lower back.

‘This counts as fooling around’ you said as Cillian continued to massage your breasts.

I'm just trying to be thorough’ Cillian replied.

You wanted to give him a harder time, but you felt that all too familiar stirring between her legs.

Cillian’s hands finally left your breasts and made their way down your stomach, still under the guise of helping you to get clean. When your front was completely covered in the body wash, his hands travelled further south. You felt Cillian's slick fingers getting dangerously close to your entrance, and you found yourself opening your legs wide to allow him easier access. He didn't hesitate and slipped two fingers into you right away.

‘I knew you wouldn't be able to control yourself’ you mumbled as his fingers pumped into you.

‘Can you blame me?’ Cillian asked. ‘After all, I have got the most beautiful woman right here with me’ he added as he thrusted his fingers in and out of you, causing you to moan.

While his fingers began to thrust outwards, hitting your g-spot over and over again, his thumb began to massage your clit.

‘Oh god’ you moaned as you clenched onto the side of the bathtub but, just as you were nearing your high, Cillian retracted his hand.

‘What are you doing?’ you whined, turning to pout at him.

‘I want to try something else’ he responded.

You weren’t sure what he meant, but you saw him going for the handheld shower head again. In an instant, a strong stream of hot water was pounding against your clit. Your back arched, the sensation overwhelming.

‘Holy fuck’ you moaned, slumping back against Cillian as his fingers returned to inside of you while the harsh water streamed against your clit. His skin felt deliciously warm behind you and he aimed the stream even closer to your most sensitive spot.

You leaned your head back against his chest, and Cillian's left arm snaked around your waist while his right controlled the shower head.

‘I knew you'd like that’ he whispered into your ear as you continued to contort against him. And a few seconds later, you were wracked with a powerful orgasm.

As you tried to recover, Cillian casually rinsed the rest of your body as if he hadn't just gotten you off. You could feel he was rock hard now.

He put the shower head back into its place and guided you up so that you were sitting on the tiled edge of the bathtub, your back leaning against the cold tiles on the wall behind you.

Cillian got down on his knees in front of your and grabbed your hips.

‘Oh god Cillian, I swear, you're gonna kill me’ you mumbled as Cillian pushed his head between your thighs. His mouth went to work, french kissing your lower lips.

Cillian's tongue alternated between stimulating your clit and plunging inside you.

You put your uninjured hand in his hair and began to moan loudly as he stimulated you with his tongue.

‘You are so fucking beautiful, you know that?’ Cillian asked as his tongue ran up and down your slit, dipping into you now and then before circling over your clit.

‘Cillian, I want you inside of me, now. Please’ you moaned.

‘Impatient as usual, aren’t we?’ he smirked before plunging his tongue inside of you one more time before pulling away and helping you out of the bathtub.

After he helped you dry off, he suggested that you go to the bedroom but you had other ideas.

‘Right here’ you smirked causing the smile on Cillian’s face to fade and be replaced with a serious look in his eyes.

‘As you wish’ he said with determination just before he made you bent forward over the sink.

You looked at him through the mirror in front of you. His intensity made your shiver in anticipation and, before you even had the chance to take in a deep breath, Cillian lined himself up at your opening and gently pushed inside.

After all the foreplay, it went in so easily, as if Cillian inside you was the most natural thing in the world. His thrusts were slow and gentle, and he angled his body to ensure his weight wasn't pressing against your injured wrist.

He was clearly taking it easy with you and it felt as if everything was moving in slow motion, so you could savour every millisecond.

Cillian's thrusts started d to get a little more powerful, but still slow and controlled. He brought his face close to the back of your neck while looking at you through the mirror in front of you.

He loved seeing facial expressions and hear your moans when he was inside of you.

‘Oh god’ you moaned as your hips were rising to meet his thrusts and his lips began to kiss your neck gently until, all of a sudden, you heard Emma’s voice.

‘Y/N, are you in the bathroom?’ she asked.

‘Yes, having a bath’ you said with a hasty voice while Cillian halted his thrusts.

‘Can I come in? I need my glasses. They are on the window seal’ she said.

‘No’ you shouted. Cillian was still inside of you and his hands were still placed over your waist.

‘Alright, uhm, can you bring them to the pub when you get there, please. I just came back to get them’ she said with a laugh before leaving the apartment.

‘That was close’ Cillian chuckled as soon as he heard the apartment door close.

‘You think’ you chuckled just as you pushed back on him, indicating that you wanted him to keep going.

Cillian finally had enough of the slow pace and roughly grabbed your hips tighter. His fingers dug into your flesh as he began to pound into you.

‘Yes, that’s it’ you moaned as you closed your eyes and let your head drop forward.

‘Oh god Cillian, yes keep going’ you moaned as Cillian was hitting all the right places. Cillian's hands started traveling around your body, one grabbed a hold of your ass and the other snaked up to play with your nipples.

Cillian soon started grunting, and you knew that he was close.

‘I am so close, don’t stop’ you moaned as you ground your hips hard against him and, as Cillian gave a few final thrusts, and when you felt him cum inside you, you came too.

‘Yes yes yes’ you gasped, trying to hold on to the sink for support as your orgasm washed over you and Cillian thrusted into you hard three more times before slowing down his movements.

Once he caught his breath, Cillian was able to pull out and stand up straight and you turned around to kiss him.

‘I suppose, we will be late’ you smirked as you looked at your watch, it was 5.15pm.

‘Hmm, do we even have to go?’ Cillian asked before kissing you again.

‘Yes Cillian, we do’ you said and quickly brushed your hair and got dressed.

It took you less than ten minutes after your sexual encounter to get ready and jump into a taxi.

More than Rumours

When you arrived at the pub, everyone was already there. Finn, Emma, Anthony and some of the other crew and cast members.

‘You guys are half an hour late’ Anthony said as you and Cillian approached the table.

‘Sorry. It took me a bit longer to get ready with this thing on’ you said shyly as you sat down next to Emma and handed her the pair of glasses she had been asking for earlier.

Emma looked over at you and Cillian and noticed that you both had wet hair.

But she wasn’t the only one who noticed. Anthony also observed that you both looked freshly showered with nice and clean hair.

What he also noticed was a familiar looking jumper that Cillian was wearing. In fact, it was the same jumper he saw on you just a week ago.

‘Nice Jumper Cillian’ Anthony said, while looking at you with a wide grin. The embarrassment shot through your face in an instant.

‘Thanks’ Cillian said, somewhat surprised by his comment. Little did he know that you had misappropriated the jumper a week ago when you got a coffee from the hotel restaurant, which is when you ran into Anthony.

The evening continued by you and Cillian ordering drinks and some food while Anthony found some time to speak to Emma in private.

‘I wish I wouldn’t have listened to you the last time we spoke Em’ Anthony laughed.

‘Why is that?’ Emma asked.

‘Well, Y/N is clearly not involved with Finn’ he chuckled.

‘What makes you say that?’ Emma asked.

‘Well, I suggested to Finn that he asks Y/N to join us for the theatre next week and she declined. I figured, if the rumours were true, she would say yes. Despite, Finn then asked Cillian to help him set him up with Y/N’ Anthony said.

‘That’s interesting. What did Cillian say?’ Emma asked curiously.

‘He said no and left’ Anthony laughed.

‘So, who do you think she is seeing?’ Emma asked.

‘I think you know as well as I do Em’ Anthony said with a laugh before taking his beer from the counter.

‘Yes… at least I have my suspicions’ Emma said with a giggle as she looked over to you and Cillian.

Note: There will be a fourth and final part. Short and fluffy with Smut!

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #Cillian Murphy x Reader #cillian murphy imagine #Tommy Shelby #thomas shelby #Peaky Blinders

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dennishater69 · 3 years

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bro i been thinking abt that (the one up there that one great post big fan) post theorizing that dennis is meant to be a twist on the “jim halpert” kind of a leading man thats standard on sitcoms. and how all the characters are like that yanno? historically successful, funny, and loved tv tropes put into an unforgiving and realistic world? like it’s even funnier when you think about how it’s almost as if the gang (ESP Den) /knows/ that they should be getting rewarded for all their antics and scheming. that’s what happens on tv. on tv jim knew from day one that he was the man for pam, he /knew/ he’d get her and (so) he /did/! he didn’t even have to try!! but in philly dennis “knows” that he’s the man for (caylee, mac, literally anyone) but it comes off as creepy not charming thus hes often rejected and humiliated.

dee is the female voice of reason (yeah ik the origin of kaitlins dee shut up let me talk), and yet her schemes and beliefs are just as titled as the boys. now look at this: lisa simpsons job wasnt to actually convince her dad or brother that their idea was dangerous. lisa’s job was to call attention to just how fucking stupid the male leads r. plus she’s a chick and implicit lesbo so she doubles as a punching bag. just like dee. cept dee isn’t super smart or musically inclined, the only thing she really has going for her is the gang. and the fact that she’s probably the best off in terms of not destroying her own life. which lets her have this unearned sense of superiority similar to dennis’ because she ~knows~ that she’s the voice of reason. what she doesn’t know is why even after she’s proven that that’s not who she WANTS to be anymore the guys still refuse to treat her like a real member of the gang even though she so obviously is. even tho the guys know she’s just as good (bad) as they are. lisa simpson, the chick from seinfeld, and lois griffin are all fine and good and are funny because deep down lois CHOSE to marry peter, lisa explicitly LOVES her family DESPITE their flaws. but dee is UNLOVED. there’s no point in her being there other than to contradict, not cos she necessarily wants to but the gang actively avoids giving her attention for anything else. so now you’ve got the voice of reason trope desperately trying to prove their own unreasonableness in an attempt to be liked. the boys resist. she acts up. they give her enough of a nod for her to stay for another drink. meanwhile the gang is getting into increasingly stupid and dangerous schemes because the voice of reason prefers not being shit on. almost like how a real person would react to being forced into that position. huh.

charlie and mac r sort of make up one; they’re the gang (ik ik) they’re dennis’ gang. the chandler and the other one. the “leading mans” sidekicks who are happy to go along with whatever plan, happy to let him get the girl, happy to remind him of how perfect he is when he’s down. (which obviously mac and charlie are NOT happy about ANY of that and HATE that dennis treats them like they are.) It’s also maybe important to note that usually the “leader” of the group is the one who brought the three friends together. dennis just crashed mac and charlie’s twosome one day and never left. mac and charlie support dennis but only out of annoyance or in macs case sometimes something deeper. either way, it’s out of trope. really they shouldn’t be able to function without dennis telling them how to. but at this point it seems like they’re better off without him around.

but charlie is also his own trope. Cause the thing is…charlie works as a lovable goofball, the slob with a heart of gold, socially awkward sure but deep down he wouldn’t hurt a fly. except. he would hurt a fly. he is a self-proclaimed “rat-basher”, hes the only character to explicitly say the n word, he stalks and assaults the waitress (her trope is p obvious. perfect girl that the loser drools over, she rejects him.) to the point of her actually breaking and agreeing to HAVE HIS KID (need a whole new post abt those beans jfc)

NOW. i ask you…what usually happens in tv shows with the charlie/waitress dynamic? typically i’d say that throughout the course of the show the audience realizes that the supposed “perfect girl” is actually a bitch and that it’s actually the unassuming, more natural looking, lead girl who should get together with the charlie character. depending on the show, maybe she’s the girl who’s been helping him chase his supposed dream girl. or she’s the girl who is, up until the big reveal, his lesbian-coded best friend who is SICK of hearing about this girl. or maybe shes just always been there, but he’s never considered her because they’ve been friends for so long, they’ve known each other since they were kids, maybe she isnt even on the table and she’s dating his friend, or she was dating his friend, or maybe…because she’s the sister of his friend. his friends TWIN sister. see where i’m going with this? it’s dee. dee and charlie are the b couple. the dwight and angela. they’re the obvious couple.maybe you didn’t see it at first but once it’s suggested you can’t unsee it. and when they DO get together. it’s like they always were. they’re the caring, devoted, consistent couple that the audience can lean on when things get messy in the other characters relationships. and yet. dee and charlie already DID get together. and apparently they hated it. hated it so much that charlie (the poor guy trope) wanted to stop and dee (girl next door trope) FORCES him to finish. not to mention neither of them seem all that interested in a caring consistent relationship. at least not with each other. why would they be?

and what would a B couple be without an A couple? but how do you even go about satirizing an A couple? they’re meant to stay in a “will they won’t they” for at least five seasons, and when they inevitably do get together it’s full of cheating and lying and breaks. cause thats what makes an A couple interesting to watch. they’re “meant to be” and yet still have to work through the issues that all relationships face. and if it’s a sitcom this is usually funny because all the audience and characters have ever wanted was for the A couple to be official, but now that they are there’s somehow even MORE conflict within the show. sound like anyone? macdennis. but dennis (leading man) wasn’t prepared for a SECOND leading MAN. no one ever told him he was going to be expected to share the limelight. he assumed he’d meet his girl and he would know and so would she and then she’d happily stand behind him forever. not next to him. she certainly wouldn’t ever try and step IN FRONT OF DENNIS. like mac does. now remember that none of the characters, except possibly dee, know that they are filling out a trope. but dennis is the golden god. of course he knows. and that is why he is or was or whatever actively ensuring that he and mac would never be together in a way that could potentially over shadow denniss “guaranteed” leading lady, and more importantly dennis. and even more important. leading men. are not. and have never. been gay. (debatable but i digress)

so a couple b couple who cares? i cares. cause taylor swift doesn’t rape the guy at the end of “You Belong With Me”. b couples exist as a more palatable A couple. meant to be without the drama. so this is extremely out of trope for chardee. yk what ELSE is out of trope? macs coming out. yeah we’ve all touched on how fucked that must’ve felt from dens pov but here’s the thing. by coming out, mac was able to confirm that the A couple, in fact, WILL. and most likely already HAVE. but he did this alone. he and dennis didn’t come out together, mac doesn’t think about dennis at all in find his pride, mac being gay is his. and that leaves dennis with…the knowledge that he and mac ARE the A couple. not only that, but apparently mac can satisfy that trope all by himself. macs outness is obnoxious. it’s like he’s bragging about it. showing it off. it’s how everything was, but. worse. he doesn’t even need anyone to do the annoying A couple stuff, the parade around, the delusion that no one could have possibly known. he doesn’t need dennis. but it’s pretty clear that at least some part of mac still WANTS dennis. and was expecting dennis to too. but that’s not real life. imagine you’re in a “will they won’t they” for DECADES and then, out of nowhere, ur partner says “yeah no we will.” and everyone believes them. they don’t even need to spare a glance at you because they’ve always kinda known and now thanks to “your other half” they always will know for sure. no matter what you do. now there’s an expectation.

and (full circle u guys) dennis’ trope doesn’t usually call for meeting expectations. he’s attractive and charming, he’s supposed to be able to coast until he looks up and realizes he gs everything he ever wanted. but now he’s 44. and he has everything he never wanted. his abusive (not)father is best friends and the father of? HIS highschool best friend, his other best friend is an asshole who is somehow an asshole abt: being gay, dennis being gay, being gay for dennis, dennis not validating that when he expected him to. and his sister, who has been firmly planted against him since they were kids. hes starving and he’s a legit alcoholic, the gross kind, and all he’s ever done is get a diagnosis that makes his friends treat him weird and abandon his son who is named after a stranger to everyone. and i’ll prolly make a king post abt it but dennis has been showing subtle signs of edging towards (another) extreme breaking point and idk what it’s abt (fingers crossed mac uwu ihatemyself )but i’m just saying that dennis’ mentality has kind of always directed the group in a direct way (whether dynamics, psyche, finances, lives, time, etc) so that’s innerestin

and so now i say the most cracked out part of the post. this theory is giving me untapped amounts of hope that the only way the show can end is with the gang finally settling and finding happiness or they all commit group suicide. and idk abt u but those are the only two endings i’m interested in seeing.

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stellocchia · 3 years

Text

Okay, time for another overly long analysis of our favourite green blob with a god complex and traumatized teen!

I will be discussing both the “Trapped in prison with Dream” stream and the “Am I dead?” stream as I think they should be analyzed together, so espect spoilers for those. It also goes without saying that, from here on out, unless stated otherwise, I’ll be talking about the characters and the roleplay only!

So here we go! More under the cut and be advised that this will be a long one!

First of all it’s essential to keep in mind that Dream’s view of his relationship with Tommy is extremely different from Tommy’s. I will be going more into details as the analysis proceeds, but it’s very clear by now that Dream is under the delusion that Tommy’s attachment to him is as strong as his for Tommy.

We have multiple examples of this, but the strongest one (until the revival stream at least) was back in the season 2 finale when he kept believing that Tommy wouldn’t kill him as he wouldn’t kill Tommy. We also have instances like him saying “exile wasn’t that bad, you had me” and his insistence on them having “so much fun together” that all point to the conclusion of Dream believing their game is played on both side.

Tommy, on the other hand, made it abundantly clear that he despises Dream entirely. He recognizes that Dream actively makes him a worse person when they’re together and he recognizes that he abused and manipulated him along with many others. Tommy doesn’t reciprocate Dream’s obsession in the slightest and actually seems extremely taken aback any time the green man proposes the idea of them being a theme.

On that last point it’s interesting to notice that the actual idea of them working together (Tommy and Dream vs the world style) is actually something new that Dream introduced with his stay in prison. Proposing they could “escape tigether” when they first ended up stuck there and even more in the two latest streams... Dream’s interpretation of their relationship seems to have shifted from “fated nemesis who have fun together” to “friends”. No, this is not a positive shift, and I’m not framing it as one. Dream’s idea of friendship is as twisted as can be and Tommy has zero say in the matter.

Now that the introduction is done, let’s get to the actual analysis!

Trapped in prison with Dream

So the stream starts with Tommy trying his best to annoy the Hell out of Dream. Then PussBoy is introduced...

One thing to point out is that Tommy seems to fear silence and lonliness over everything (as we’ll see proof of later on), so it’s honestly no surprise that he would not be able to bear the silence for too long.

“The cat is the best thing that’s happened to us” Dream is already sort of shifting from the “me” talk to the “us” talk, which is rather interesting. That also mirrors his “You being stuck here is the best thing that’s happened to me since I got to prison” statement.

Then there is the interaction with Sam where he decided to leave Tommy in there longer in order to solve the issue. We also get a very rare instance of Tommy showing a lot of his vulnerability, talking about exile (though it’s clear he doesn’t know Sam knows as much as he does about exile), which promptly gets ignored in favour of Sam continuing to work on the security issue.

A few seconds after Sam left Dream already burns the new clock. The reason he’s doing it is obviously to keep Tommy in a more vulnerable state of mind by continiously insuring he has no way to tell how much time has passed. All the while acting like it’s no big deal of course. Like his actions aren’t deliberate.

“What if we get out together?” “No, no! Because then you’ll break out with me, I don’t want you to break out with me” Dream already gave a similar proposition when they had just got stuck together and, again, the reason why this is so important, is because it seems to indicate a shift in Dream’s mind between the “me vs you” mentality to the “me and you vs the rest”.

There is then the whole debacle with PussBoy where he’s killed. There isn’t really much reaction from Dream for it (really, Tommy shows more panic about it then Dream does any emotion. Please people, re-watch that scene and stop using the damn cat as a motivator there). “Look Tommy, I’m gonna get out” is literally his only reaction. That and saying that Tommy is and always has been his motivator: “You motivated me, well, you motivate me all the time”. It really couldn’t be clearer here.

“I’ll get out and, when I do, I’ll get my revenge” (...) “On who” “On everyone who’s wronged me” “Oh on fucking everyone won’t you! You’ll go and you’ll kill fucking... you wouldn’t kill anyone would you? You wouldn’t, you wouldn’t kill someone (long pause)... of course you fucking would...” Now, why did I highlight this whole thing? Well, because there’s a lot to unpack here.

1) Dream is still fully of the idea that he was in the right, hence his desire to get revenge on “those who wronged him”. His mentality has not shifted at all so we can conclude, once and for all, that his “meek” act during most of the visit was indeed just that: an act.

2) Callback to Tommy saying he feels like his brain is “wired to be Dream’s friend”, despite having already been killed 2 times by Dream, Tubbo more recently almost dying to him and knowing what he is capable of in general, it still takes him quite a bit to remember that yes, Dream would kill someone, he would hurt people. Tommy still has a hard time admitting to what happened to him and the impact Dream has had on him and he’s not entirely out of Dream’s manipulation (once again, good representation, because you don’t heal from something like that in a month), he is however now better at recognizing it and correcting his own faulty thinking.

“I have a plan” I did not notice this on first watch, but was Dream’s plan to send Tommy to the afterlife from the start? Or, at least, to send someone there so he could study it? It could very well have been. He’s shown in the next stream that he wanted talk to Schlatt immediately asking Tommy about him once he was back. We can’t however ignore that he mentione that “someone who owes him a favour” may be a part of his escape plan, so that feels rather important for the future once he’ll have brought Willbur back to life.

So then there is more of fight that start. Dream is getting annoyed at Tommy’s “whining” and tries to make him see things from his perspective (aka “it’s not so bad because we have each other” again with the trying to establish their “friendship”).

“You don’t have ME, you never have ME, we don’t have each other, alright? I am me and you are this fucking looser who goes around manipulating people and lying to get what he wants” What this is is 2 things:

1) Tommy recognizing what Dream is trying to do, the subtext of what he’s saying and refuting his claims (hurray for the bit of healing he’s had!)

2) Tommy actually recognizing the possessive side of the claims Dream keeps making. I don’t see this talked about that much, but, to Dream, Tommy is most definitely his propriety, just like Tommy’s disks were Dream’s in his mind (remember that speach? He literally referred to them as “my disks”). I mean, he clearly acts like that’s the case, enphasizing time and time again how he has absolute power over Tommy (I’ll go a bit more into it towards the end of the analysis of the other stream, for now though, keep this in mind)

“Even when I’m in here I’m more powerful then you are when you are outside” back on the theme of Dream’s God Complex I see. He seems to like showing off as often as he can “how powerful he is and how powerless Tommy is” (in Dream’s words from the season 2 finale), though that’s most probably to keep enforcing the dynamic that he already established in exile, the whole thing with Tommy being entirely dependent on Dream. He seems to like that aspect of their dynamic as he has expressed multiple times his appreciation for that specific period of time.

“If I wanted to, right now, I could just kill you. And the only reason I’m NOT is because of my friends, for Tubbo, because WE need that fucking revive book, alright? That’s the only reason I’m not killing you” well, I mean, we’ve known this for quite a while. The only reason Dream got to keep his last life was because of Tommy’s attachment to his friends. I’ve seen a few people saying that it was specifically to revive Wilbur and, while that may have been an idea at first, by now he had already shown multiple times that that was not the case (even before spending time with him in the afterlife). When he went to “Wilbur’s revival” (the failed one) he showed that he was already incredibly uncertain about wanting Wilbur back (describing him as “not so poggers” in very Tommyinnit fashion). No, the actual reason why he wants the book is most likely because Tubbo is on his last life and we know he can’t live without his best friend.

“Tommy, I’m never, I am NEVER EVER going to use the revive book to help you or any of your stupid little friends, okay?” So now the question is: was this a lie or a twisted version of the truth?

I’m gonna say the latter and here is why: Dream DID, in fact, revive Tommy. We know this now, it’s canon. But he really didn’t do it FOR Tommy. One thing I want to make clear is this: while Dream may, in fact, consider himself and Tommy “friends” he doesn’t CARE for Tommy himself, not in a way that’s commonly considered as “caring” at the very least. He finds him fun, entertaining and he seems to be rather dependent on him, but NONE of this things equate to caring about HIM. So, now that that’s cleard up, the resons why he revived him in the first place should be rather obvious:

1) He wanted to see if he could and learn more about his power in general

2) As I said before, there is a degree of dependency Dream has on Tommy. It’s very obvious in the fact that, despite having let go of every other attachment, he doesn’t seem able of letting go of Tommy, not permanently anyway. He seems to actually need to have a degree of control over Tommy at all times

“I will never use the revive book. I will NEVER use it on you, I will never use it on any of your friends, I will never use it to save ANY of you” now THIS one is a straight up lie. What Dream was trying to do here was provoking Tommy enough to see if he’d actually kill Dream or not (which was a useful information for him for later). To see if Tommy could bring himself to do it (he can’t)

“I’ll get out eventually because, either you’ll let me out or... people will be dead” way to be ominous green man! We could assume by this point that his plan to escape may have been along the lines of “getting Techno to repay him by killing one of Tommy’s friends therefore forcing him to let Dream out to bring them back”, or something of the sort.

“This isn’t worse then exile (...) because in exile I thought you had all the power (...) here’s the thing Dream, here’s the thing I know: I don’t think the revive- I- how could I be so fucking...? The revive book Dream, it’s not real is it?” Here is where things start to actually go downhill fast. There is nothing Dream hates more then Tommy questioning his power, there is nothing that makes him angry faster (I’m sure the whole “I don’t give a fuck about Spirit” speach comes to everyone’s mind when I say this, as it should). Dream, as much as he presents himself to be a logical mastermind, is actually very emotional in the way that he is very easily overtaken by anger. He does irrational stuff every time he gets mad, that’s no secret. If he wasn’t already planning to kill Tommy to test his power, this push is what convinced him to do it. Also this is the exact reason why he likes Tommy (weirdly enough, their relationship is so very complicated) in the first place, because he’s the only one who’s constantly questioning him and challenging him.

As we know the fight escalated and Dream ended up killing Tommy telling him to ask “Schlatt” about the book. Though before that there are quite a few exchanges were Tommy expresses that he thinks Dream is powerless now and was lying about the book all along because that’s generally what he does and Dream keeps insisting that he’s not lying and that Tommy’s life is still in his hands, that he still has all the power (turns out he wasn’t so wrong...).

Also, last line to analyze from this: “I might as well be a God Tommy! You can’t kill me and I can kill you” pretty sure this is the first time Dream outwardly announces his God Complex and it’s interesting that his idea of power revolves entirely around having power over Tommy specifically. Because, even having power over Tommy’s life he’s still in prison, he stil has no real power of any kind. Everyone on the outside still hates him (aside from the anarchist duo), they still aren’t letting him out. Who comes to see him and what he can keep in his cell is still entirely dependent on Sam and not on him. But the fact that he has power over Tommy is enough to make him a God in Dream’s eyes.

Am I dead?

Fisrst things first, the afterlife part:

It seems that we may be seeing pieces of conversation had at different times. Let me explain myself:

Tommy opens up asking if he’s dead, then he has an interaction with Wilbur that sounds like it could be their first interaction after his Tommy’s death as Wilbur asks how he’s doing.

We know however that he’s been ther for at least 2 months, probably more considering he seems to have interacted with Schlatt, but Schlatt has been comatose for 3 months. We could then assume that what we see is a sort of very short montage of Tommy’s time in the afterlife.

The next scene we have Tommy asking “How long is left?” (we don’t know what he’s referring to, though it could be to his revival) and Wilbur responds saying that, to the end of the Universe it would be still 8 eons. Then Wilbur asks him to play competitive solitary and they randomly chat for a bit.

New change of topic (probably next scene again) we have Wilbur telling Tommy he’s happy Tommy is there (dead) with him as the tw of them were never good for the server and caused all the problems (which we know to be incorrect, but it was Wilbur’s mentality at the time of his death and it makes sense that he would have kept it). Tommy also has a very clear panic attack which Wilbur generally ignores. Wilbur also says that, if he’s brought back to life, he knows for a fact that the server will be in shambles because, in his words: “I know what I’m like, that’s the issue”.

Like it or not people Wilbur is most definitely implying that he knows he wasn’t a good person and that he won’t be different when he comes back. Simple as that. It’s also a further confirmation of his self-deprecating nature that brought him to self-destruct in the first place.

There is another pause that we could consider a cut scene and Wilbur is then talking about making a solitaire arena in a couple of months to an exasperated Tommy

Now for the revival itself:

First thing we notice once Tommy is back to life is that he’s most definitely experiencing a sensory overload. He’d gotten used to living in a colorless dimension with almost no sounds (aside from Wilbur’s and Mexican Dream’s voices I’m guessing) and no sense of touch aside from the constant pain that being back on the living plain may be quite ovewhelming for him.

“So what was it like?” Dream doesn’t loose a beat once Tommy is back before starting to ask him questions. He literally sounds like an eager kid who just got a new toy (and I gotta commend cc!Dream for the voice acting here!). The book worked and now he needs to find out exactly to what extent he can use it (the idea of immortality being on his mind as we’ll see later).

“Void, it was dark, it was all dark” “There was Schlatt, there was Mexican Dream” “There’s so many more drugs then just alcohol” “Mexican Dream, he was there, which was confusing, he was loud. And then there was Wilbur...” “(Continuation from below) and then I came out and I was in a long long hole, a tunnel of black and void, not even black just colorless” “When I was there it all felt so real, but so torn apart. It felt like I was in pieces, like I was stomped on” This is our best description of the Afterlife so far. A static void with no colors or viable sensations, with only 3 known residents now that Tommy is not there any longer. A weird reality with a seemingly entirely different set of rules to our own.

“Death felt like my body was taken apart and then put together and then taken apart and put together here. It felt stretched man” “It felt like I was shredded to dust” “No it didn’t feel goo- it felt like I was put through a shredder, but there was no blood, there was no flesh it was just essence, like a powder and I was put through (continues in previous section)” This is Tommy’s complete description of his experience with death and what it felt like. Having to stay for months with this constant sensation it’s really no surprise he would be so hypersensitive to touch.

“Honestly I was kind of scared it wouldn’t work” So, here we got another indication of the fact that, while Dream killed Tommy in rage, having him stay dead was never his intention (despite him claiming he would never use the book on Tommy a couple of days prior). He never intended to severe his last attachment (I’m honestly not sure he even CAN seeing as how dependent he actually seem on Tommy), he literally only killed him because he was mad Tommy would question him and wanted to prove a point, but to prove his point in the first place he needed Tommy back. It’s also probably why he revived him so fast, his weird need to have control over Tommy, which he couldn’t have while Tommy was dead.

Why did he care so much about Tommy not believing him on the book, you may ask? Was it to save his own skin? It’s possible and I think that’s part of it, others being convinced that the only reason they kept Dream alive was a lie could cause his death. The other reason is that he seems, as I said before, to want to shift his and Tommy’s dynamic to an “us vs the world” type of deal, which would require Tommy in particular to believe everything he says.

We can now add being hit at all by Dream to Tommy’s ever growing list of trauma triggers as he seems to have a very vivid recollection of his death by Dream’s hands... also we need to point out their body language in this: Dream is constantly trying to get close to Tommy as much as he’s constantly insisting on getting more information, while Tommy alternates between getting close to Dream and pushing him away (could be he’s both seeking some kind of comfort, but is also very overwhelmed).

“Tell me, one more time: what was it like when you died?” “Did it feel good?” Dream’s insistence and exitment about Tommy’s very obvious extreme distress is honestly concerning, but expected. By now we can safely assume that he doesn’t really have any empathy, I know, bold claim, but is there any evidence to refute it? Any evidence at all? Because, so far, he has shown a distinct lack of empathy in any and all situations...

Another interesting thing was Tommy’s reaction to Dream’s probing questions: while he seemed to get increasingly distressed by them, he kept answering Dream every time with little hesitation only at times adding on things like calling Dream a monster for the way he was treating him. I honestly think this may have been because he was in desperate need of comfort, and having someone to confide into is part of that. And Dream was the only “someone” he had there.

We then get the whole exchange about how time in the Afterlife is different then in the normal plain of existence. I’ve seen people equate 1 day to 1 month, however that’s incorrect. That was Dream’s wrong assumption but, from whet Tommy said, we can guess that it was much more then that. Frist of all, the first month and 18-20 days Schlatt was still awake and he was the one making them keep count. That said, we know Schlatt has been asleep for around 3 months (we don’t know exactly how much as they lost count). Which means that Tommy’s stay in the Afterlife was much more around 5 months then 2, meaning 1 day in the Real World should equate to roughly 2.5 months in the Afterlife give or take. That is, of course, assuming time there moves in a regular way and there is an actual correspondence between Real World time and Afterlife time, which is not a given.

Tommy keeps asking for the people he find reassurance in (at least we can assume so) which, in this case, are: Tubbo, Jack, Phil, Fundy an Sapnap. It’s a pretty weirdly matched group of people but, apparently, they are the ones Tommy seeks out when he’s distressed. It would be interesting to see an analysis of his relationship with each of them, but this one is not about that I’m afraid.

“Wait shut- shut up! Shut up! Sorry, I’m sorry” Tommy seems to have re-acquired some of his exile mannerism such as being overly apologetic and skittish, together with the lashing out more. None of this are good signs... he had just started healing as well...

“I... I’m a God! I can bring people back to life, I wasn’t even sure that I could, but I can!” Bringing Tommy back to life worsened Dream’s God Complex even further, because now he doesn’t only have power over Tommy, but everyone else as well. And, I mean... at this point he IS basically a God, he’s not even wrong on that.

“Dream, Dream, listen to me. The things I saw, the things he talked about, the things he said he will and the things he WILL do... do not- promise me, never EVER bring back Wilbur! Please, please, please” In case anyone was wondering this is the exact thing Tommy said on Wilbur. He didn’t say he’s worse then Dream here, but he IS bad news, at least if we trust Tommy on it. Wilbur wasn’t only self-destructive when alive, he was destructive in general. He was dangerous to others as much as he was to himself and he DID hurt people. And this side of him seems to only have been accentuated by death.

“Do NOT bring back Wilbur. Ever! Promise me you’ll never do that, alright? Dream, Dream, you are nothing, you’re nothing, you’re fine Dream! We can be friends if you don’t bring him back! You’re not even- all the tragedies you’ve done-” and here’s the part that I’m guessing people are interpreting as Tommy saying Wilbur is worst then Dream which is... a fair interpretation actually (considering that Tommy is not a reliable narrator). Now please don’t get me wrong, Alivebur as he was, wasn’t worse then Dream, but he had years in the afterlife to become even more radicalized in his beliefs. There is also the fact that Tommy doesn’t seem to put the harm done against him on the same level as that done against others: Dream has hurt Tommy worse then Wilbur ever did, but Wilbur’s potential harm against others might be greater in Tommy’s mind then Dream’s. That’s the reason why he’s offering something he knows Dream wants, which is his friendship, in order to keep Wilbur from coming back: because he truly doesn’t care about his own wellbeing as long as others are safe. Of course Dream’s response to this is: "It’s not up to you. It’s up to me because I- I have that control” which is very in character for the green blob with a God Complex

“What if, now that we know, we could send you back and you could figure out-” We can see that Dream has an utter fascination with this whole concept and, now that he knows revival works, he has no qualms with sending Tommy back (no matter how obviously traumatic it was for him) to get further information because, guess what? Death is not in any way an escape anymore. He can simply pull Tommy back as he pleases.

There is then the exchange about burning the book, but, as Dream has it memorized, they would need to kill Dream to get rid of the knowledge, but Tommy can’t bring himself to do it because he’s even more terrified of being stuck alone in the cell then he is of Dream bringing Wilbur back.

“I wanna know about death. We can study it! We can study it together! We can become immortal together!” Again, if there were any doubts on Dream’s constant need of having Tommy under his control, this should dissolve them. There is truly not much more he can do to show how obsessed he is then offering Tommy to be immortals together, especially because we know that the ideal for him would be to have Tommy be completely dependent on him again. To have his favourite puppet under his control for eternity apparently... “I want absolutely fucking nothing to do with you” of course, as we said many times, Tommy doesn’t view their relationship in the same way. Tommy actually hates Dream and truly doesn’t want anything to do with him.

“You owe me your life” “Owe you my life? You beat m-!” Who’d know that Dream had some similar arguments to his apologists huh? But this does show how warped his view of reality is. I mean, he’s fully aware that he beat Tommy to death, but he still think Tommy should be grateful to him for bringing him back.

“Now you can tell everyone that the book exists, that I'm not a liar!” Dream really went hard with the whole God Complex thing, even going as far as choosing his profet huh? Man’s just on a high horse and will never get down...

“Everyone... is my puppet” Welp, this is the culmination of his God Complex. The realisation that he has absolute power of life and death over everyone else. That he can play with them as he pleases. Also, may I add that, for basically this whole stream, he has used the “soft voice” he tends to do with Tommy whenever he’s trying to get him to comply? Like, I’m mentioining it now because it was particularly obvious in this last exchange, but it’s been there on and off the WHOLE time.

“You killed me to prove your own point. You could have just showed me! You could have just- this is so evil. This is- this is- this isn’t like before. This isn’t you’ve blown up and- you’ve put me through torture, through pain, to prove a point, that’s fucked! You can’t do that to me... to anyone!” It took almost half an hour but Tommy has finally come to the full realisation of what happened to him, of why it happened and he’s honestly very understandably distraught about it (though it is to be said that it's arguably quite good that he understands that it wasn't okay for him either to be put through that as he tends to downplay his own suffering greatly). He has been through something unimaginable for us because Dream was upset that he didn’t believe him about the book. That’s all there was to it, that’s all the reason for his suffering. Like, he’s not wrong at all when he describes Dream as a monster, that’s literally the only accurate description of him. No normal person would put someone else through this for such a petty reason.

“You’re soft Dream, you’re soft” Another valid point by Tommy. While Dream IS undoubtedly extremely powerful and extremely clever, he’s also petty, stubborn and childish. He throws violent temper tanrtums every time someone (especially Tommy) disagrees with him and mostly gets away with his bs because he has the power to back them up. That said he hardly ever lost, the only true loss he had was being locked in prison, and he managed to turn even that in his favour! But that’s the think: loosing makes you stronger, it often teaches you a lot and pushes you to get better. He (along with a couple of others) basically never had that. Tommy’s been through literal Hell and he survived that, he knows he can survive that. Dream? He may break at the first real hardship as far as we know!

“I’ll let you free, I’ll let you free alright? We’ll call for Sam, we’ll get him in here, he’ll let you out, but... I’m gonna bring back Wilbur and Wilbur- Wilbur is gonna help me escape” 2 things to unpack here (aside from the fact that he’s using the “soft voice” to say something extremely disturbing again):

1) Dream is, once again asserting his power over Tommy in two ways: by frasing it in a way that implies that it’s up to Dream wether Tommy leaves or not and by confirming again that Wilbur’s resurrection is entirely up to him and that Tommy’s opinion on the matter is utterly worthless

2) He fully intends to use Wilbur as a puppet as well because, as he says a bit later, if he brings him back then Wilbur will be indebted to him

And that’s how it’s concluded!

My closing thoughts on this are that, generally, Dream’s level of dependence on Tommy seems to worsen as fast as his God Complex. man went from telling him that their story “would never be over” to offering him immortality in the span of little over a month. Tommy is Not Doing Good, AT ALL, but I’m hoping he’ll ask for help this time from other people because he literally cannot deal with this on his own. Wilbur will not be good news, but what he’ll do is still entirely uncertain, it is to be pointed out however that, at the beginning, his frasing at a certain point sounded scarily similar to Dream’s idea of “us vs the world” when he said that him and Tommy specifically are the single cause of conflict. I hope I’m wrong there because the LAST thing Tommy needs is another obsessive God-like individual in his life!

@mysweatymakerstudentworld

#long post #I'm not jocking this gotta be the longest I've ever written!#tw abuse #tw death #prison arc #analysis #character analysis #dream smp #dreamwastaken #tommyinnit #c!dream negativity #don't know if that needs tagging #god this was exausting to write #I'm spent #utterly deceased #hope it helps those who were still confused though #/rp #my post

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yanderenightmare · 4 years

Text

BNHA HEADCANNONS

INTIMATE ACTIVITIES

goodiebag WARNINGS: yandere, dubcon/noncon, abuse, kidnapping, abduction, Stockholm syndrome, manipulation, mind control

TIP-JAR

YANDERE ! BAKUGO KATSUKI - KACHAN

Katsuki enjoys several other things apart from bedroom activities. All he needs is to feel needed. He loves cooking for his darling, watching movies and snuggling on the couch or in bed, he even wants to dance on some evenings, all in the confines of his home though. Because he just loves those extra intimate interactions with his darling: his house is equipped with pools, a jacuzzi, showers and a sauna. He just wants and needs her in all those semi-naked situations. Needs to satisfy his ownership of her. He will allow her access to every room of their house. He has installed every safety measure he deemed necessary for it to be possible for her to wander about. Having artificial staff to clean instead of actual, interactable, distracting human beings. He loves ensuring his darling that he’s the only thing she’ll ever need. And, because of this, Katsuki’s favorite thing to do in the bedroom is going down on his darling. Whether it be before, in between or after sex, preferably all. He’s a giver, but for selfish reasons obviously. He likes to feel her squirm and squeal beneath him, under his lips and tongue and teeth. He likes to prove how well he knows her body and taste what a mess he’s reduced her to afterwards.

YANDERE ! DABI - TODOROKI TOUYA

Dabi is kinky. Not to an extreme extent, however more so than most. He rarely uses his quirks, but is not above doing so. He will brand his darling with his name and the occasional thumbprint hearts, but nothing more. He enjoys powerplay, as in collars and leashes and handcuffs, but rarely anything more than that, mostly because he isn’t that much of a patientperson. Dabi’s favorite bedroom service is a blowjob, of course. He loves seeing his darling down on her knees making him feel good, sucking him off as though her life depends on it. He loves every part of it, from her lips tightening around his shaft, to the walls of her mouth closing around him, hitting the wall in the back of her throat, even feeling her teeth slightly graze against him. But, nothing beats when she swallows so perfectly and gives him the outmost adorable little thank you afterwards, kissing his cock as if it were some gracious offering. He does enjoy other things apart from sex though. He loves the aftermath. Snuggling. Oh, how he loves snuggling. The soft drum of her heartbeat against him, the smell of her mingling with the smell of him. His darling’s soft skin pressed against the leathery texture of his purple marred flesh. He hopes she doesn’t scathe and annoy by it.

YANDERE ! SHIGARAKI TOMURA

Tomura absolutely worships his darling, he doesn’t take anything she offers for granted. Even if he has to threaten her first. He enjoys playing videogames with her, though… he’s too easily distracted. He’ll want something else, something more, quickly. Whether it be kisses, hugs, or for her to brush her fingertips across his skin. Simply feeling her warmth up against him is enough for Tomura to shiver in ecstasy. However… it’s far from satisfactory. Once he gets a taste, he almost immediately needs more, and he’s not one to hold himself back. He will take if she does not offer, and he does not take lightly to her teasing. During sex: Tomura enjoys the cowgirl position above all else. Seeing his darling kneeling so perfectly in his lap, the both of them cradling one another, her hands wrapped around his neck, his hands being able to touch each and every part of her. Savoring the moment, as she displays in offering to him. He takes time enjoying himself, dragging out every moment until he’s contently satiated. He returns the favor, never leaving his darling unsatisfied, even though she probably would prefer it that way.

YANDERE ! SHINSO HITOSHI

Hitoshi wants to talk. To talk to and observe, dissect, analyze his darling’s every word. He wants her thoughts, her emotions, her everything. Talking is part of why he fell in love with her. Because she seemed to want to talk as much as he did. She wasn’t scared either, the words seemed to pour out like poetry; unrestricted. A social butterfly incapable of staying quiet, incapable of leaving his questions unanswered. She was perfect for him. Even after he took her, she still couldn’t stop herself. He needn’t even use his quirk… most of the time. But… Hitoshi just loves taking advantage of his quirk in the bedroom, as so to have his darling focus on the pleasures he’s giving her instead of how wrong it feels. Hitoshi, quite like Dabi yet even to a more extreme, is a very kinky guy. He loves gifting his darling with trinkets. Loving to dress her up in all straps and lace and chains and stocking and collars and leashes, all branded with his name on them… perhaps even cat ears and a cage and making her call him master while he calls her kitty. He has a lot in store for his darling.

YANDERE ! TAMAKI KEIGO - HAWKS

Keigo wants to find out what a relationship is. He doesn’t have a lot to go on, except for numerous romance movies and series. He isn’t shy though, he’ll get creative and experiment. Cuddling, wrapping his wings around his darling. It proves beneficial, both in being more comfortable for him and in keeping his darling in place. Showering together, shampooing one another’s hair. He’ll trap her mouth in his hand and make her breath in the water if she refuses to oblige his wishes. Cooking together. She’ll wish she just cut the vegetables like he asked. It’s a good thing she can never get a good hit in, despite however many times she tries. Keigo seems unbothered, never dwelling, never holding any grudges. There are too many other activities that needs his attention. Keigo prefers standing during sex. More control that way. With the freedom of his wings, something of which would be hard to maintain were they to be lying in a bed. He loves taking his darling up against the wall, whether she’s standing on her own two feet with her face mushed against the boards, or with him holding her up under her thighs with her legs cradling him. Keigo isn’t picky though, so any position where his wings are free is just fine with him.

YANDERE ! MIDORIYA IZUKU - DEKU

Izuku just wants to be close, that’s really all he needs, they don’t even have to have any sex, they don’t even have to be that naked, or... at least not at first, not before she’s neatly settled in and come to terms with the fact that she is to love him until the end of times and won’t ever be leaving. Any position that allows him to reach and admire every part of his darling is perfect for him, yet he prefers to be able to see her face. He only allows her in the bed, anything else would be too rough for his little darling. The bed is the only safe place for her. So, that’s exactly where she’ll stay, out of harm’s way. He’ll bring her food and activities such as novels, notebooks, sketchbooks, anything she asks of him as long as she stays in the bed. He understands it when she gets restless. He too, would grow feral being suspended to a bed all day. But, he really can’t trust her with herself and risk her being free without his supervision. She’s bound to hurt herself, being as fragile as she is. He’ll insist on carrying her if she wants to go to the bathroom, pouring the right temperature into the bathtub and insisting on getting in with her. He’ll make it clear that he doesn’t mind, that he quite enjoys it. There will come a time where he enjoys it a bit too much, where he’ll insist that his needs and her needs are one of the same. By what time, he’ll have grown so demented, she’d count herself blessed if she’s ever given the time to sleep again.

YANDERE ! CHISAKI KAI - OVERHAUL

Bubble-baths. His darling; surrounded by soap-bubbles. Her skin being smooth and slippery against his own; glowing. He wants her constantly, but if there’s a time where he feels his composure slip, it’s when they’re clean and perfect with only each-other and the soap surrounding them. But, despite being entitled, despite being impatient, despite wanting to have her in the outmost depraved ways… he’ll go about things rather professionally and respectfully, because Kai is, despite everything, a traditional guy. He believes in decorum and customs. So, his favorite position to have during intercourse is obviously missionary, the way it should be. That doesn’t, by any means, mean he is a mediocre guy. He just enjoys the contours and slopes and curves and dips of his darling’s face. How beautifully lit, bright and glossy her eyes get when he rams into her. How plump and juicy her lips are when they absorb the tears running down her cheeks. The soft crinkle between her brows and how her mouth hangs upon, shameful moans spilling past her lips. It’s all too much for him to ever want to face away from her whilst doing something so intimate. He allows himself to remove his gloves when they’re bathing. If only to feel the smooth, clean and warm feel of her throat under his fingers, as he fucks her into oblivion.

YANDERE ! TODOROKI SHOTO

Shoto is quiet. And, it’s strange, because she used to think it was because he was a soft soul. He isn’t. Shoto’s favorite sexual endeavor is spanking, to see how far that spirit of hers actually reaches, he’s never disappointed. Whether she’s bended over his lap, the table, the sofa, any surfaces really, or chained to the ceiling, or on all fours presenting her ass so delectably for him. He loves seeing his handprint branded on her plump flesh. Enjoying what different colors he can bring to the surface by exchanging which quirk he uses. He finds it very efficient as well, given that his darling rarely disobeys him. She often wonders in fear what fresh hell his punishments could possibly be when his awards are already so brutal. He never skips on aftercare though, even though his cooing and affection is unwanted. Never understanding that his affection doesn't make up for the brutality. He’ll hold her tightly to his chest, cool down the swollen flesh, stroke her hair, kissing her forehead almost so softly she nearly forgets what he just did to her moments before. He’ll balance everything out to an obsessive degree. For every slap, she’ll also get a kiss. For every burn, he’ll also cool it down and vice versa. Every time they do something unpleasant, he’ll be sure to have something softer planned the next day. She isn’t sure which she dislikes the most, but… there’ll come a time where she won’t be sure which one she enjoys more.

TIP-JAR

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lunar-wandering · 3 years

Text

i don’t wanna fight alone anymore - Chapter 5

if you pick up on the 5d chess level plot line i hint at in here i platonically love you

Word Count: 2.3k

Read on Ao3

Wukong sighed as he walked into the ship's common area, taking in the sight before him.

"Y'know. I was honestly kind of hoping that what happened yesterday was a dream." He said, "Or, well, I guess it would be a nightmare-"

"Aw, you consider me to be a nightmare?" Macaque said, from his rather uncomfortable looking position of being sprawled on the couch. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"It wasn't intended as one." Wukong sighed again, looking over at MK and Mei. "And what are you two doing?"

"He kicked us off the couch." MK said, his arms crossed and a pout on his face. Mei wore a matching expression. "We're trying to convince him to give it back."

"Pouting doesn't work on me, kiddo." Macaque said, "I'm not easily swayed, unlike someone I know."

"Oh c'mon." Mei said, moving over and getting closer to the shadow monkey. "We're friends now right?"

"....I don't recall agreeing to that-"

"And friends will let their friends use the couch!" She continued, nudging Macaque's arm. "Please? We'll even let you sit with us."

"Absolutely not." Macaque said, pulling his arm away from her nudging. "I'm quite comfortable where I am, thank you very mu-"

He didn't get to finish that, as Wukong, having had enough, easily climbed behind him, and shoved him off the couch, knocking him to the floor. Macaque yelped, as MK and Mei cheered.

"Hey! I'm still injured you know!" Macaque hissed, fur bristling.

"If you can annoy people, you're healed enough." Wukong said, crossing his arms as he looked down at Macaque. "You need to get ready anyways."

"Ready? Ready for what?" MK asked.

"To go get the next object of course! I gave Sandy the coordinates last night, we're almost there already." Wukong said.

"What're we getting this time? A shovel, to go with the rake?" Mei joked. Wukong paused for a moment, before he gave a little laugh.

"Oh, it's uh, nothing like that, this one is more of a back up than anything-"

"Back up? Back up for what?" MK asked, concern starting to form in his voice.

"You don't need to be concerned about it bud, it's really nothing important, in fact we probably won't even need it! Everything will be fine. Just.... fine." Wukong said, chuckling a little, a very familiar smirk starting to appear on his face.

Or, well, familiar to Macaque at least.

"You're lying." Macaque said, elaborating when MK and Mei looked at him with confusion. "He always makes that face when he lies."

"I do not." Wukong hissed, but despite his denial, he stood up, turning around so that the others couldn't see his expression. "A-anyways, we're wasting time here, so uh, let's go!"

"...Why am I here again?" Macaque asked, sulking a little as he walked with Wukong, MK, and Mei through the entryway of the temple.

"You, are here so I can keep an eye on you." Wukong explained, "If you think I'm trusting you anytime soon, you'd be dead wrong."

"...Point taken." Macaque said, as they turned the corner into a room that practically glowed with various objects. Some of them were on pedestals, some just laying on the ground. More hallways connected to the room, each of them with even more hallways and doors.

"How're we going to find the object you're searching for with all of...this?" Mei asked.

"Oh, I'm sure we'll know it when we see it." Wukong said, "I'm sure it's somewhere in this temple."

"And how can you be so sure? Where are your sources Wukong, go on, pull out your list of references, I'll wait." Macaque said, crossing his arms and smirking as Wukong sputtered. MK tuned them out, instead focusing in on some of the various treasures the room held.

Over on a nearby pedestal, a small mirror stood, innocently gleaming alongside the rest of the treasure. Curiosity started to take it's hold, and MK reached out-

"Woah there kid-" Macaque said, grabbing hold of MK's wrist, stopping him just before he could reach the mirror. "Hold on there, this place is full of mystic treasures, remember? You don't want to go about activating some magic trap or something, we can't risk that kind of thing, right Wuk- ........you've got to be kidding me."

MK turned, following where Macaque's gaze was-

To see Wukong, standing on the other side of the room, sheepishly holding a golden cup.

"....Uh, Macaque's right, shockingly enough." Wukong said, nervously chuckling as he set the cup back down on the pedestal he'd taken it from. "We wouldn't want to risk it."

"Don't- don't just put it back like you didn't do anything." Macaque said, letting go of MK's wrist to march over to Wukong, glaring at him. "We all saw you pick it up-"

Mei started to record.

"What, I didn't do anything..... I'm better at controlling my impulses than that." Wukong said, a nervous smirk starting to form on his face. Upon seeing it, Macaque reached over and pinched the other monkey's cheek.

"You're making that stupid face again." He said as Wukong yelped, smacking away Macaque's hand. "Seriously though, be glad nothing happened, I would've killed you if you'd activated something-"

Almost as if on cue, there was a faint click, and a magic circle appeared on the ground, a barrier rising up and trapping the two monkeys within the circle.

There was a moment of silence.

"....Yep, I'm going to kill you-" Macaque said, tackling Wukong to the floor. Mei cheered, excited for a fight, but MK quickly stepped in.

"Woah, woah, hold on-" MK said, and both monkey's paused mid-fight. "Are you two okay?"

"....Wukong don't you dare say it-"

"We're just peachy kid!" As soon as those words left Wukong's mouth, Macaque went back to attacking him with extreme fervor. In response, Wukong leaned back, planting his feet into Macaque's chest and shoving him away. Macaque's back slammed against the barrier, and he growled, moving to attack Wukong again-

Only to pause as Wukong pulled out a piece of chalk, humming quietly as he drew a line on the ground.

"....What are you doing." Macaque asked, all the fight leaving him as confusion took over. Wukong hummed in satisfaction as he finished drawing the line.

"We can't just fight the whole time we're in here, that'd be counter-productive." He said, tucking the chalk back into his pocket. "So, you stay on your side, I'll stay on my side."

"That has to be the most childish solution I've ever heard-" Macaque started, only to be cut off as Mei cleared her throat.

"Not that this isn't very entertaining, but like, how exactly are we supposed to get you out?" She asked. Wukong and Macaque paused.

"Uh. I'm not entirely sure-" Wukong started.

"I found a switch over here." MK said, drawing their attention to where he stood by the wall. "D'you think pressing it would let you out?"

"No." Macaque said, a surprising amount of certainty in his voice. "There's another switch, probably in some kind of control room or something like that. You have to flip it before you can flip this one."

There was a moment of silence as everyone stared at him.

"....What? I traveled a lot, I've seen a lot of traps." Macaque huffed, putting his back against the barrier and sliding down to sit on the floor. "I know what I'm doing."

"...Well it's not like we have any better options." Mei said, shrugging as she grabbed hold of MK's arm, turning down a random hallway. "We'll be back!"

Wukong sighed as he watched the two of them walk further into the temple, before turning and glaring at Macaque.

"You better not have just sent them off on a wild goose chase." He said, mirroring Macaque's pose by sitting down on the ground.

"Please, do I look like I want to stay in this circle forever?"

"Why is this temple so hard to navigate!" MK yelled in frustration, as he gripped onto the stone wall. He and Mei were slowly climbing down, hoping to find some kind of control room deeper in the temple.

"Probably to deter thieves." Mei said. She wasn't struggling nearly as much with this as MK was. The perils of loosing super strength.... "Either that or to make the adventure more fun for, y'know, adventurers."

"Couldn't they have set it up so you could choose a difficulty setting?" MK mumbled, "This would be so much easier if we could do this on easy mode-"

MK missed the next grip point, his foot sliding. He startled at the sudden lack of support, scrambling a bit in his panic, which turned out to be a mistake, as he ended up slipping and letting go of the wall entirely, tumbling back.

"MK!" Mei yelled, reaching out a hand to grab at him, barely missing by a few inches.

MK tensed, bracing himself to slam against the stone floor of the temple-

Only to feel himself get caught in someone's arms.

"Red Son?!" Mei yelled, incredulous, and MK opened his eyes to see that she was right, Red Son had caught him. "What are you doing here?!"

"I'm getting something for W- ah, my parents." Red Son said as he set MK down on the ground. "Yep, I'm picking up some random mystic artifact for my parents."

"....Do your parents actually know you're here?" MK asked.

"Of course they do! Why wouldn't they?" Red Son said-

And then proceeded to rush forwards to catch Mei just before she could hit the ground.

"Ha! That was fun!" She said, laughing as she jumped out of Red Son's arms.

"Why would you do that?!" Red Son hissed.

"I knew you would catch me."

"A bit of warning might have been nice!"

"So you admit you would catch me?" Mei asked, laughing as Red Son paused, before he huffed, crossing his arms and looking away, his necklace jangling as he moved.

"....What's with the necklace?" MK asked, and Red Son froze, before quickly hiding the necklace behind his shirt.

"It's nothing." He mumbled, before grabbing hold of Mei and MK's hands, and starting to walk. "C'mon, you're looking for the switches to undo the magic barrier right?"

"How'd you-"

"Just a.... lucky guess." Red Son said, dragging them down a long series of hallways. As they passed a darkened hall, MK paused, staring intently. "Hurry it up MK, you don't have all day."

"Sorry I just....thought I saw something." MK said, slowly turning away. He could've sworn that he had seen- no, that wasn't possible. "...Wait, did you just call me MK?"

"I think he did." Mei said, smirking. Red Son didn't even look at them, but his hair started sparking at the edges.

".....No, I didn't." He said, "You two must be hearing things. Now hurry it up, we're running out of time."

"What is wrong with you?" Macaque asked, sitting on his side of the circle.

"Excuse me?" Wukong said, glancing over at Macaque in confusion. Macaque sighed, before standing up, and crossing over the chalk line, despite Wukong's protests.

"Normally, you could get us out of here easily. So, I'll ask you again." Macaque said, leaning over, nose almost brushing against Wukong's. "What is wrong with you?"

"I- uh, well, what's wrong with you?" Wukong countered, "Why don't you use your shadows to break the barrier?"

"You seriously think that she left me unscathed?" Macaque hissed, before quickly backtracking. "Or, well, I mean, not unscathed, but like-"

"So it was her." Wukong whispered, "She's the one who hurt you."

"....Don't think about it too much." Macaque said, walking back over to his side of the circle, sitting down and pulling his knees to his chest. "It's....not important."

"Macaque-"

"We're back!" MK's voice interrupted, and both Wukong and Macaque visibly startled at his sudden presence. "We flipped the switch, all we need to do now is just flip this one!"

"Oh thank goodness." Macaque said, making a show out of standing up and stretching. "Any longer in here and I think Wukong would've driven me insane."

"Hey-" Wukong started to protest, but then stopped as he registered who was with Mei and MK. "Uh. Who do you have there?"

"Ah, Red Son just. Kind of showed up." MK explained as he walked over to the switch on the wall. "Said he was getting something for his parents."

Wukong leveled Red Son with a look of suspicion, and Red Son looked away, nervously rubbing his arm. MK flipped the switch on the wall, the barrier falling down. Both Macaque and Wukong let out an audible sigh of relief as the magic faded away-

Only for the ground to shake.

"Well, looks like time is up." Red Son said, oddly calm, as he walked by them, turning to head deeper into the temple. "I'll see you guys later."

As he passed by Wukong, he paused for a moment, leaning over and whispering something Mei and MK couldn't hear. Macaque's ear twitched, and a look of horror briefly flashed over Wukong's face, but it was gone as fast as it had been there as the floor shook again, this time knocking some rocks loose, the sound of them tumbling making Wukong wince. He rushed forwards, picking up Macaque (despite the protest that he could "run on his own") as he started towards the exit. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mei do the same with MK, before hurriedly catching up to him.

"Wait- what about Red Son?" MK said, watching as the aforementioned demon continued to walk back further into the temple, with a walk that was far too calm for someone who was in a collapsing building.

"He'll be fine, I'm sure he's got a plan." Wukong said, skidding to a stop once he reached the outside, setting Macaque down and turning to watch as the temple collapsed completely, sealing the entrance. Mei softly set MK down on the ground beside her.

"...We didn't end up getting that thing you wanted." Mei said, staring at the collapsed temple. Wukong sighed.

"It's fine. Like I said, it was more of a..... back up plan anyways." He said, turning to head back to the ship. "We shouldn't need it anytime soon."

#Monkie Kid #fanfic #my writing #season 3 fanfic

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canary3d-obsessed · 3 years

Text

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Ep 17 part one

(Masterpost of all the rewatches) (Canary’s pinboard of original content)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Inaccessible

Wei Wuxian hides in a boat among the lotuses next to a pier in Lotus Pier, the second-most-literally-named home in the show, after The Burial Mounds. This pier has a railing that goes all the way around it, without any ladders or anything. Not to be ADA on main but this means if you can't Jedi jump, you're fucked.

Hefeng Liquor

While Wei Wuxian waits and tries, not very successfully, to keep his shit together, he hears the guards talking about the local booze that they're going to drink at their murder victory party. We learn, in a desaturated flashback (that OP has done her best to resaturate), that this is lotus-infused wine invented by Wei Wuxian during happier days.

He kicks the flashback off with his favorite activity, Unnecessarily Erotic Beverage Drinking. (gifset) I’ve slowed this gif down so we can all appreciate the unnecessariness. The way his hand caresses that leaf OMG

Hopefully he is not drinking lake water out of that leaf. Side note: How is it possible that Xiao Zhan doesn't have a drinking water endorsement deal? I had to resort to Zhu Yilong's brand of water for this gag. I figure if it's good enough to pour directly onto a lightning burn like they do in The Lost Tomb Reboot, it's good enough for a leaf hummer chastely drinking out of a leaf

(more behind the cut!)

In his memory, Jiang Cheng tells him to stop fucking around and come help with the basket of lotus pods. Wei Wuxian responds by grabbing one for himself and then sitting his ass down and not helping. Cause he’s a motherfucking P.I.M.P.

Emotional Rescue

Wen Ning arrives on the pier with Jiang Chang, to Wei Wuxian's extreme relief. Look how much emotion Xiao Zhan is able to convey even with half of his face hidden, my lord.

Wen Ning carries Jiang Cheng on his back, in an echo of other significant piggyback rides in Wei Wuxian's life.

Wei Wuxian's relief is at war with his fear, seeing his brother in such bad shape. Remember, these are cultivators, who heal quickly and mostly don't get their asses beat this hard. The only time Wei Wuxian has been comatose was after the Xuanwu cave, and that was probably because of his prolonged contact with resentful energy/Yin iron.

Hibernating Zidian

Wen Ning gets ready for his first, but not his last, boat ride with an unconscious Yunmeng brother in it. He tells Wei Wuxian that Jiang Cheng is pretty fucked up but isn't dead.

Then he gives Zidian to him. Before we talk about Zidian, let's talk about BAMF Wen Ning. Wen Ning is an awkward goofball. He’s also insanely competent at just about everything--wine-drugging, dude-smuggling, corpse retrieval, dog acupuncture, drug pushing. As well as shooting rocks out of the air and, later, beating zombie ass, and resisting mind control. .

This is the foundation of their friendship; it’s not actually about Wei Wuxian being nice to the weird kid. He initially sought Wen Ning out for the same reason he sought out weird kid Lan Wangji--his martial skill. He accepts his weirdness and is protective of him because of his missing-spirit problem, but he did not befriend him out of altruism.

Wei Wuxian is so forgiving that he can smile fondly when looking at the weapon that whipped the shit out of him a couple of days ago.

Wei Wuxian puts Zidian down right next to Jiang Cheng's hand and...nothing happens. It doesn't recognize him or spark to life. This didn't seem meaningful when I watched it the first time, but rewatching...yikes. It KNOWS.

Wei Wuxian admits, with tears in his eyes, that there is nowhere safe for him to go with Jiang Cheng, and Wen Ning immediately offers care and shelter. Even though that is putting his own life at serious risk.

Life obligation is a common theme in CDramas. It’s often something a person chooses as a way of showing love. Guardian builds an eternal romance out of two people saving each other’s lives over and over. But accepting the obligation is a choice (in fantasy dramas, if not in real life). Love and Redemption has a gloriously harsh sequence where a life is saved, and the save-ee cooly rejects the saver.

Every time Wen Ning saves Wei Wuxian, he cites that one time that Wei Wuxian saved him from the water demon. And Wei Wuxian cites this rescue right here when he throws everything away to save Wen Ning. Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng doesn't acknowledge any debt to Wen Ning at all, only--grudgingly--to Wen Qing. And people are ok with that.

Basically all this is to say that I think Wen Ning leans into this life debt because he loves Wei Wuxian, and Wei Wuxian leans into it because he loves him back. Non-romantically, I think...at least on Wei Wuxian’s part. YMMV.

They go to pick up Yanli from their Granny, telling her to go into hiding. She starts to cry, not knowing how she'll manage on her own. Wei Wuxian tells her that they will come back, as Wen Ning looks super unsure about that.

Of course Wei Wuxian can't know, at this point, whether they will come back. Wei Wuxian always wants to make everybody feel better, and sometimes you really can't make someone feel better except by lying. He compulsively says shit that he thinks people want to hear, almost as if he was beaten frequently and arbitrarily as a child.

Wen Ning is doing his best for the recreational boat ride industry, as he rows the Yunmeng trio through some amazingly beautiful scenery.

Core Melting Time

Meanwhile, back at Lotus Pier The Yunmeng Supervisory Office, Wen Chao is hung over, Wen Chao is angry, Yawn

For some reason, Wang Lingjiao has suddenly decided to talk to Wen Chao in the most cloying and annoying way possible.

Also, the fact that she still addresses him as Gongzi when she is totally fucking him is kind of great. This is like those fics where Elizabeth Bennet calls Mr. Darcy "Mr. Darcy" even when they're married and hitting it.

Wen Zhuliu demonstrates why he's called Core-Melting Hand, by punishing the wine guard. He's able to melt a guy's core by grabbing him by the throat, and also picks him up, Darth Vader style, for extra meltyness.

All that stuff I said last time about Wen Zhuliu feeling ambivalent about being a villian...yeah, he seems to have gotten that right out of his system.

Chilling in Yiling

Wen Ning is doing his best for the recreational carriage ride industry. Wei Wuxian, after presumably several hours in the cart, decides that now is a good time to get curious about where they are going.

Here we start to see a new side of Wei Wuxian. Before this he was carefree, other than specific worries about his friends. He confronted danger with lightness and humor, or with temporary fear, that he let go of once the danger passed. Now, after all the deaths and seeing Jiang Cheng so injured, he's twitchy, anxious, and angry.

Very, very angry.

When he realizes that Wen Ning has brought them to the Yiling supervisory office, he goes off, demanding to know whose home this was before the Wens took it and grabbing Wen Ning and shoving him into a decorative...decoration. He thinks Wen Ning brought them here to harm them.

I wouldn't have thought such a pretty dude could be so menacing, but holy crap.

The way he's confronting Wen Ning here is not his normal style. He's not trying to provoke a bigger fight like he usually does; he's not trying to create distance, the way Jiang Cheng does. He's very intimate, getting right in his face and maintaining eye contact. He trusted Wen Ning and feels personally betrayed.

Shy little Wen Ning is remarkably calm when confronted like this. Wen Ning really isn’t afraid of anything, despite his general air of nervousness. (Full gifset of Angry WWX over here.)

He calmly and kindly explains the situation. He doesn't appeal to Wei Wuxian's trust, saying "oh I would never;" he appeals to his logic, which gets through to him.

Wen Qing comes out and the guards start banging on the door and Wei Wuxian flips out again, grabbing a sword and pointing it at Wen Qing as she decides what to do. Wen Qing seems unruffled by Wei Wuxian's sword pointing, and we see her weighing up the situation.

She makes her decision, sending the guards away and deciding to help the fugitives, officially joining the Clear Conscience Club. She could probably get Wen Ning out of trouble by turning them in, but she opts to put personal loyalty and her belief in her own ideals ahead of her family's safety.

Wei Wuxian is not ok. He’s just not ok. He tries to act like it after they get settled in with Wen Qing, but he's not, and I think that plays into his next several choices.

Next comes a whole sequence of Jiang Cheng being unconscious with pins in his head--ow--while Wei Wuxian twitchily tends to him.

This sequence is kind of unfair to Jiang Yanli. What matters to the story here is Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian's relationship, so that’s the focus of these scenes. But really, there is no way Jiang Yanli would not be at Jiang Cheng's side unless she was literally unconscious herself. Let's assume Wen Qing stuck a needle in her to make her rest while she has a fever. Shippers should also feel free to assume that Wen Qing spent hours at her bedside, tenderly wiping her forehead and holding her hand as she recovered. In his sleep, while Wei Wuxian sits by his side, Jiang Cheng calls for his sister, mother, and father, but not for his brother. Ouch.

Let's pause to appreciate Wei Wuxian's new outfit, which is the sort of getup most people in this society probably imagine Yiling Laozu wearing, rather than the low-key homespun stuff he actually spends his Yiling year in. This robe has fancy shoulders, shiny material, touches of Jiang purple, strange red hoody strings, and a fuckin' CAPE. He didn't bring any luggage with him from Lotus Pier, although he's still got his Yin Turtle Sword hidden in a bag of holding. So the most likely explanation is that Wen Ning hooked him up with this lewk. "Wei Wuxian is a nice person. He should have a magnificent cape."

Wen Wing and Wei Wuxian take a breather to stand on the porch and work out what their status is with each other, like a couple of fucking adults, which is amazing. Basically Wei Wuxian is ready to forget earlier Wen shenanigans, but is going to avenge Lotus Pier.

Wen Qing isn't enthusiastic about that but doesn't argue, just asking, mostly rhetorically, if he plans to kill her too. He's uncomfortable considering that; the role of avenger isn't one that's comfortable for him, although he turns out to be extremely good at it. He does not, of course, plan to kill her too. In a few months, imprisoned in a Wen dungeon, she will be the only Wen left alive after Wei Wuxian 1.5(No-Gold Edition) and Chenqing come to visit.

Jiang Cheng finally wakes up, and the first thing he does is to test out his spiritual power by hitting Wei Wuxian as hard as he can.

DUDE.

Look at Wei Wuxian's face, as he goes from happy, to shocked and hurt, to laughing it off. It's exactly like when Jiang Cheng shoved him in the Rock Lady temple. Has Wei Wuxian spent all of his years with Jiang Cheng going from affection, to hurt feelings, to pretending it's fine? God, I think he probably has.

This episode raises a question that will come up again later, but never be answered. That question is, what the fuck are these weird footies and why the fuck does Jiang Cheng wear them to bed?

Jiang Cheng reveals that his golden core is gone, that he can't cultivate any more, which means he can't avenge his parents or achieve any ambitions in life. Nobody has apparently given any thought to why Wen Zhuliu is called "Core-Melting Hand" before this, which is hilarious, frankly. If I fought with a guy called, for example, Brain-Eating Mouth, I think I would make certain assumptions about him and what he planned to do with my brain.

Something interesting is happening in this moment, because as he comes fully back to consciousness, Jiang Cheng pours out all of his trauma and horror to his brother, telling him about the core melting and practically wailing about his feelings over it all. And his brother understands, and ultimately finds a way to help him. What does Wei Wuxian do after his own trauma? Keeps it secret, so nobody finds a way to help him, although many people try to. So Jiang Cheng is, in this way at least...emotionally healthier than Wei Wuxian? That's unexpected.

Jiang Cheng is super upset and is mad at eternal scapegoat Wei Wuxian for saving him. Jiang Cheng would rather be dead than be a regular person. Whereas Wei Wuxian, faced with the same problem, is like, *shrug* I’ll adapt. These are both valid emotional responses to suddenly becoming disabled. Losing a golden core is definitely a disability, in this environment; it's not just about magic sword fights. Jiang Cheng's home is designed for people who can fly; Lan Wangji's home is designed for people who don't feel cold, and Wen Central is made of actual lava, for example.

Jiang Cheng is already struggling with a lot of difficulties. He was raised by shitty parents, he's got anger management issues, he has a crushing weight of responsibility. And now he's also lived through the deaths of most of the people who matter to him. If sword cultivation is the one thing that gives him joy in life (ok one of two things, obviously fashion also gives him joy because he WORKS it), he can't reasonably be expected to rally when it's taken away.

Oh, honey. Oh, baby boy.

Wen Qing picks the worst moment to come in and tries to tend to Jiang Cheng, who starts off being devastated that the girl he likes is seeing the wreck he's become, and then moves along to helpless rage when he remembers that she's a Wen, and he screams at her to get out.

Jiang Cheng is not able to put personal loyalty ahead of clan loyalty like Wei Wuxian is. Partly this is his nature, and partly it's his role as the lineal descendant of the clan leader. As a firstborn son of a gentry family, his destiny as clan leader is in his blood, and so is his responsibility to the clan. When Wei Wuxian praises Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen for caring less about bloodlines than about shared ambition, he is speaking from the position of someone who's bloodline ain't shit. Jiang Cheng will never be able to share that perspective.

Next: More of this excruciating episode!

Writing prompt: The Day I Discovered I Could Melt Your Fucking Core, by Wen Zhuliu Drabble prompt: Why I Wear Socks to Bed, by Jiang Cheng

#fytheuntamed #the untamed #the untamed gifs #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #wen qing #wen ning #restless rewatch the untamed #canary3d-original #my gifs #the untamed spoilers

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kasienda · 3 years

Text

The Five Minute Adventures of Snake Noir: Ch 6 - Miraculous Abuse

Chapter 1: I Want It To Be You

Chapter 2: Best Friends

Chapter 3: Best Laid Plans

Chapter 4: A Thank You

Chapter 5: Unwanted Revelations

Chapter 6: Miraculous Abuse

If Adrien had avoided using the snake before, he now was operating on the other extreme. Ladybug had told him to abuse it, and he’s not sure she would have meant it quite so literally, but well… he and Nino had come up with a list.

It had started with his homework. If he could finish his homework in far less time, he’d have more time to visit Nino and Marinette. Not that it took a lot of time to visit Marinette as it was usually a loop, so even if he spent hours with her, it never took longer than ten minutes as far as the rest of the world was concerned.

He unfortunately couldn’t do all of his homework in a time loop because that would leave whatever he had completed in the last five minutes erased. But he could do all the reading, researching, planning, and studying in a loop. Anything that didn’t require him to write anything down.

Nathalie had only walked on him transformed once.

“Yes, Nathalie?” he had asked, without looking up from his textbook. He hadn’t even thought about it.

She stood stock still and was dead silent. He glanced towards her with a frown - her eyes were comically wide, but that was the only sign that she was shocked. He glanced down, and remembered he was transformed at Aspik.

Read on Ao3

“Oh shit!”

But it had been easy enough to fix. He just reset, destranformed, waited for Nathalie to come in and deliver his schedule changes for the week and leave, and then he transformed again.

And then Nino had realized if he could pack all of his studying into the space of five minutes, Adrien could surely squeeze in some well deserved leisure time as well.

It only took 71 loops to read a hundred thousand words, and Adrien had long ago discovered the joys of fanfiction, but he had never really had time to read more than a bit here or there. Now? With unlimited time and an entire endless library of things to read based on his favorite games and anime? Let’s just say his current power set brought a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Just One More Chapter.”

And a season of anime was only 119 loops. Hell, he had gotten through all 981 episodes of One Piece in 4532 loops, which was still nothing compared to his time as Aspik, and honestly, far less traumatizing.

He had felt slightly guilty about it. He was literally using the powers of time travel to watch anime.

But when he mentioned it to Nino, his friend had just rolled his eyes. “Dude! You’re thinking about this all wrong. You’re a hero and we need you to be okay. This is about avoiding burnout as much as it is about having a good time. It’s so you get enough of a break and enough sleep to be a competent hero that we all need!”

But eventually the stories and shows hadn’t been enough to hold his attention. And he took another of Nino’s ideas and started paying visits to several of his friends.

He had gone to Kagami first. He had no expectations of healing things with her, but he had always wanted to be able to explain so that his apologies might mean something.

“Chat Noir? Is there an akuma?” she asked by way of greeting.

He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Ah, no. I wanted to talk to you about something, but I also have to erase your memory after the fact to protect identities. Are you okay with that?”

Her eyebrows rose in surprise. “You have piqued my curiosity. You may proceed.”

He nodded. He had already activated his power before he had landed in her bedroom that was definitely as lavish as his own if not quite as spacious.

“So… more than anything I wanted to apologize to you?”

She frowned. “I’m unaware of anything that you have done that would require an apology.”

“Kagami, I’m Adrien.”

Her eyes went wide for a second. “Ah, I see.” Then, she nodded.

“That’s it?”

“No, it makes a lot of sense.” And then she did something he never would have expected. She smiled. And most of his tension released.

“I just wanted to explain now that I had the ability to. That I wasn’t ever lying to you or running from our dates because I wanted to.”

“You had to sacrifice your own desires for a higher calling.”

“Yeah, that’s it exactly.”

She smiled at him again. “I appreciate you coming to explain and I understand completely why I can’t remember. May I ask you a question?”

“Of course!”

“Were you never in love with Marinette?”

“Well, I… uh… it was hard to see Marinette when I was completely enamored with Ladybug, but…”

She shook her head. “Are you in love with both of them now?”

“I mean, sortve?” He knew Kagami hated when he ended every sentence as if it was a question. “They’re the same person.”

Kagami sighed. “How disappointing.”

“Disappointing?! She’s amazing!”

“I know, but if she’s Ladybug and you’re Chat Noir, I have never had a chance with either of you.”

He felt like he had been thrown off a cliff. “What? You had feelings for Marinette?”

She grinned. “Well, she is amazing, as you always say. At least I know that I have really good taste.”

“Well, I’m sorry to have ruined all your prospects.”

“I will survive. Neither of you define me as a person.”

“You’re pretty amazing, too, you know,” he told her sincerely.

She nodded. “You honor me.”

He laughed. “Kagami, please don’t get all formal on me. I’m still just me.”

“Well, I hope you know that I appreciate all that you and Ladybug do for the city,” Kagami told him, ignoring his request.

“Thank you, Kagami. That means a lot coming from you.”

She nodded in acknowledgment and he knew he was being dismissed, and then he slid the switch on his bracelet and he was on the roof of her family’s manor once again his heart a little lighter.

He had gone to Alya after that. He had been nervous since she was the one who tended to push him aside as Chat Noir. But his fears proved to be completely unfounded as for the most part she could never stop laughing whenever he revealed himself.

“Wait! You’re Adrien?!”

She burst into cackles immediately.

“Why is that so funny?!” He has demanded the first time.

She had just grinned, shaking her head and still chuckling. “I wish I could explain it to you, sunshine.”

“I already know Marinette is Ladybug,” he said.

“Oh good! Then I don’t have to be panicked about accidentally slipping!” And she went back to rolling on the floor laughing.

“You wouldn’t happen to already know Marinette’s other secret would you?” she asked.

His eyebrows scrunched together under his mask. “Umm… that she’s in love with me as Adrien?”

Her face lit up. “Oh see!! You do get it!”

He shook his head. “I do not get it.”

“The two of you managed to get yourself in a love square. You’ve been chasing each other around like two cute little hamsters in hamster balls.”

He sighed, far less amused than Alya at the current state of his Marinette’s relationship. “I’m really glad someone is getting some joy out of this.”

“Hey!” she objected. “I’m only going to know this for another three minutes! Let me have my fun!”

He held up his hands in surrender, and he was smiling in spite of himself. Maybe some time in the future, after he and Marinette could be together, it would be funny to him, too.

“God! This is why it feels like I’m third-wheeling during akuma fights,” she exclaimed.

“You feel like a third wheel?!” he repeated in disbelief. “Have you seen the chaotic energy that is you and Marinette coming up with a plan together? I am definitely the third wheel in that situation.”

And then she was cackling again. “I’m sorry,” she wheezed. “Nino says I can be a bit of a bulldozer when I’m trying to find a solution to something.”

“That’s putting it mildly,” he said dryly.

All the mirth fled her face and she looked at him in concern. “Hey, you okay?”

He nodded. “It’s not like I’m allowed to be anything else.”

“No, don’t say that! You’re allowed to be upset with me! I deserve it sometimes.”

He shook his head. “I’m never going to hold your ability to defeat an akuma against you. I just… have felt a little unneeded lately,” he admitted.

She stared at him for a second and then she burst into laughter again.

And despite still not getting it, he found himself chuckling, too. Her laughter was just that infectious. “Why do you find this so funny?” he asked.

“Because you’re a literal superhero and a model with more money than god, and a heart of absolute gold. You work with her as Ladybug so well I have to deal with crazy conspiracy theorists on the Ladyblog who think the two of you must be telepathic aliens!”

“What? People don’t think that.”

“They do! And it’s annoying. But my point is you’re the real deal, Agreste, and she’s crazy about you, and you know it, and yet you still manage to doubt yourself.”

“I’m glad my struggles and hang ups are so amusing to you,” he said with a pout.

She sat up and fist bumped his shoulder. “Aww! Sunshine! I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant, your insecurity makes you seem sweeter and cuter. And it makes you seem more human. I don’t mean to mock you in any way.”

He searched her face and only found open sincerity.

“Thanks, Alya.”

“So, does she know that you know?”

“I mean, she doesn’t right now. But I’ve told her. Many many times, but it was just like this and she doesn’t remember.”

She softened. “That sounds difficult.”

“It’s apparently better than the alternative,” he said, going for nonchalance, but he didn’t fool her if her scooching to sit right next to him was anything to go by.

“I wish we could all fix it for you, Adrien.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“How are you?”

He shrugged. “I’m okay at the moment. Some days are worse than others. Nino… Nino has been a godsend.”

She smiled. “He is pretty amazing. He knows outside of a loop?”

“He does.”

“I’m glad you have that, Adrien. Marinette was falling apart at the seams before she told me.”

“Does he know about Marinette?” Adrien asked. Sometimes, it seemed like Nino knew more than he was letting on. But maybe his friend was just really respectful of secrets and didn’t ask questions.

“Not from me! And he hasn’t told me about you being Chat Noir either.”

Adrien glanced toward the window.

“Does it bother you that there are secrets between the two of you?” he finally asked.

“No, not these ones. They’re not our secrets. They’re yours, and they’re Marinette’s, so they’re not ours to share.”

“I'm jealous,” he admitted.

She offered him a sympathetic smile. “Someday, you won’t have to be anymore.”

The Snake beeped it’s first warning. “Time’s just about up.”

She offered him a fist bump and then a hug. He reciprocated both. “I’m glad you stopped by, Sunshine. You’re always welcome any time you think my particular brand of company is something that would help you.”

He grinned. “Thank you, Alya.”

“I look forward to the day when all four of us can just be open about everything,” she said.

He snorted. “You and me both.”

His went to his bodyguard next.

“I just wanted to apologize to you for always running off. I don’t mean to make your job harder or get you into trouble. I am literally running away to save the city.”

His bodyguard didn’t say anything. He never said anything. He had just let out a resigned sigh and then patted Adrien’s shoulder.

Adrien took that as forgiveness and reset the loop. There was no sense in sitting there in awkward silence for another four and a half minutes.

When he had told Nathalie one afternoon at her desk outside her office, she looked horrified - frozen as still as a statue trapped in Medusa’s gaze.

“Nathalie?”

“I… all this time?” she whispered.

“Yeah. I know it’s a lot. I know it causes you a bit of grief when I disappear.”

She waved away his concern. “Right now, we’re in some kind of time loop and I won’t remember?”

“But you will,” she said. It wasn’t a question.

“Yes,” he confirmed anyway.

“Adrien, I need you to listen to me.”

He nodded.

“I can never find out. Your father can’t either. If you need something because you’re hurt or cornered, or…” she trailed off.

Was she crying?

She cleared her throat.

“Go to your friends. Their parents. Just… not your father, okay? Or me, because I’d have to inform him.”

His brows furrowed together in confusion. “Okay?” It wasn’t hard to to agree despite how weird she was being. He knew Paris needed him and he also knew that his father would never let him continue. Especially if he was seeking help due to an injury or something.

That’s what Nathalie was referring to, right?

She patted him on the shoulder. It was even more awkward than when his bodyguard had done it.

“Adrien, you’re quite impressive as a hero.”

“Thank you,” he said with a smile.

And then there was Marinette. He had learned that it was impossible to tell her he was Adrien without making her cry, which was frustrating because she was also so much more open and affectionate once she knew.

“How do I get you to not breakdown when I tell you this?” he asked her seriously.

She laughed through her tears. “I’m sorry, kitty. I have no idea. It’s just… it’s not fair.”

He smiled. “That’s what Ladybug always says,” he told her casually. She didn’t know that he knew this go around.

“She’s right! You deserve so much, and life… it’s not fair!”

He turned to her seriously. “I don’t need life to be fair, Mari. I just… don’t want to have to wear a mask all the time.” And then he smiled. “I’m glad that you’re okay with me doing this.”

She nodded tearfully. “Anytime, Kitty. Anytime.”

Then during a regular patrol at one point. He had just realized he wanted to make her laugh. So he spent another few hundred loops figuring out which jokes made her laugh the hardest and which ones were absolute duds. Then, on a day when she was having a hard time, he showed up on her balcony and gave her the best one hour comedy of her life.

Her unrestrained laughter was so explosive she had literally fallen out of her chair. Totally worth it.

“Thank you, kitty,” she said wiping the tears induced by her laughter. “You have no idea how much I needed this.”

He hadn’t argued. “Of course, princess. I am always at your service!”

Then, he started working on the perfect confession. He was trying to see if he could get her to kiss him as Chat Noir without revealing his identity because, you know, that always made her cry.

“Can I use the snake to ask you a very important question?” He has asked Ladybug on patrol.

She nodded, and he activated it.

“What do you think it would take to get you to kiss me?”

She laughed. “Are you serious right now? That is your very important question?”

“It is,” he nodded, but offered her a huge grin so she could take it as a joke if she wanted.

“Why? You haven’t been able to be successful yet?” she teased.

“Oh no! I’ve been super successful. All I really have to do is tell you my name.”

She scoffed.

“No, I’m serious!” he boasted with a huge grin splitting his face knowing she only half believed him.

“So, why don’t you just do that?” she asked seriously.

“Because you always cry! And I don’t want to kiss away your tears. I want to make you smile.”

She got quiet. “You know, we can’t be together right?”

“Yeah Marinette,” he whispered. “I know that really well.”

It was silent.

“How long have you known?” she asked softly.

He had no idea how to answer that question. Because time was now very weird for him. In one sense he had only known for a few weeks, on the other he had literally spent so much time in loops that it had to have been at least twice that at this point. Maybe more.

“A while,” he said. “But we’ve already talked about that to death. I’d much rather figure out how to get you to fall desperately in love with this half of me.”

She raised her eyebrows. “You want me to fall desperately in love with you in five minutes?”

He shrugged. “We have a solid foundation of trust and friendship. I’m not starting from nothing. Plus, I’ve fallen in love in less than five minutes before.” With her. He didn’t think he needed to say that though.

She actually smiled. “Yeah, I’ve fallen in love pretty fast before, too.”

And it occurred to him that he had no idea what had made her fall in love with Adrien. He probably could ask her, but that was one more memory that he wanted her to remember having told him.

He could probably just show up on her balcony as regular old Chat Noir and just say something like, “So, Adrien Agreste, huh?” She’d probably tell him, and she’d even remember it. But she wouldn’t know that it was him she was telling.

How the hell had his life gotten so complicated?

“There’s no way I would start crying just from knowing your name though,” she said. “You have to be making that up.”

He just turned to her and raised his eyebrows.

The expression probably didn’t work as well with his transformation covering them.

But she still hesitated. “There’s no way!” she exclaimed, but then she got a thoughtful look in her eyes. “Unless…”

And then her eyes started welling with tears.

And he almost laughed. But he managed to hold it back.

“Oh, come here, bug,” he said instead, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her to him. And he just held her as she shook silently.

“It’s not fair,” she whispered.

“I know,” he said, and then kissed the top of her head. “I know.”

“Do you see my problem now?” he said after another pause.

And she laughed through her tears, which had been his intention, and he smiled.

She pulled away. “I’ve thought about it before, you know.”

“Thought about what?”

“Letting myself fall for Chat Noir?”

He hugged her tighter. “Yeah?”

“It never seemed like it would be that hard. I think if it hadn’t been for Chat Blanc, it would have happened after New York.”

He laughed. “Really? New York was when I thought maybe I should ask out Marinette.”

She looked up at him in horror. “Oh my god! We’re just perpetually screwed, aren’t we? We’re just going to keep missing each other over and over!”

He kissed her hand. “No m’lady,” he assured. “That can’t happen because now I know, and I can’t forget.”

And then she was crying again, harder. “I don’t want to forget either.”

“I know,” he told her, kissing her hand again. “I promise it won’t be forever.”

“I love you, Adrien.”

“I love you, too.”

And that time, of the two of them, it was he who was stronger and able to slide his fingers across the reset.

And he might have stayed in that loop far longer than he should have trying to figure out the way to the heart he had apparently already won.

He learned that she did enjoy his flirting whatever she said to the contrary, but the moments where he was vulnerable and genuine were the ones that seemed to move her the most.

But none of it was quite enough. If he wanted a kiss, he always had to tell her his name.

But despite his failure, pulling himself out of that loop was the hardest thing he had ever done.

And that’s how he knew he was in trouble.

…

“Nino, you have to take this away from me,” Adrien said, holding out the snake miraculous. He had just arrived and released both his transformations.

Nino took it, his eyebrows pinched together. “What? Why?”

“Because I’m scared I’m going to go into a loop and I’m never going to come out of it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Look! Being here with you, with you knowing everything, is amazing. It’s the only time I feel like myself, unless,” he held up the bracelet, “I’m using this and… it’s getting harder to pull myself out of the loops.”

“Your visits to Ladybug?”

“Yeah,” Adrien admitted. “She told me to go every single day so I would remember what it was like to be loved,” he paused for a second, trying to swallow the sudden lump in his throat. “The problem is I really really like being loved.”

And then he couldn’t hold the tears back anymore.

Nino pulled him by the arm down to the ground and sat right next to him shoulder to shoulder.

Adrien buried his face in his hands.

“For the record, dude,” Nino whispered. “You are loved even outside a loop with Ladybug.”

Adrien threw his arms around Nino. “I honestly don’t know why you put up with me at this point. I feel like you have to put up with a lot.”

Nino grinned. “Hey! I happen to like hanging out with you! This shift has been awesome because I get to see you way more often.”

“And I’m not like messing up date night with Alya or anything, am I?”

“Nah!” Nino waves away his concern. “Alya and I hangout in the mornings and during lunch. Lately Marinette has monopolized her evenings.”

Adrien managed to keep a straight face at that. “If you and her ever do need a day away from the children, I’m sure Marinette and I can figure out a way to take care of ourselves for a day.”

Nino burst out laughing.

“What?! I’m a big boy and Marientte’s a big girl. We can take care of ourselves.”

Nino just shook his head, still snickering.

“Maybe all four of us could do something some time,” Nino suggested, his eyes sparkling.

Adrien narrowed his eyes. Did Nino know? He knew he couldn’t ask without giving it away, and he had just handed over the snake.

“That sounds really nice,” Adrien said, knowing he wouldn’t be able to handle going on a double date that he had to pretend wasn’t a double date. But someday.

He wanted to cry again, but his eyes remained dry.

“So, you just want me to keep it?” Nino asked, holding up the bracelet. “Should I hide it here in the room? Or wear it?”

“Wear it,” Adrien said. That was the only way Nino would know where it was at all times. “But don’t use it. Not even for an akuma.”

He didn’t want Nino to ever experience a loop on the battlefield. Not if he could help it.

“I reserve the right to come save your ass if necessary,” Nino said as he slipped the miraculous around his wrist.

Adrien laughed. “Okay, but please don’t unless you absolutely have to. I don’t need Ladybug pissed at me for giving away a miraculous.”

Nino frowned at him then. “Why are you giving this to me, instead of back to her?”

Adrien’s answer to that was complicated. Partly because he didn’t want Marinette to know that his loops with her were hurting him even as they gave him hope, and he definitely didn’t want her to know that he had fallen to the point of being borderline addicted.

But there was also a strategic element to his choice. He could approach Nino in either form, and Nino would know to trust him.

“You know who I am,” Adrien finally said.

“Will you be okay without it?” Nino asked.

Adrien shrugged. “I don’t know. But I’m definitely not okay with it right now.” He paused, then looked at Nino. “I might be texting and calling you a lot over the next few days.”

Nino laughed. “I can’t promise to answer right away all the time, but you can always do that, man. Always.”

Adrien let his head fall onto Nino’s shoulder. “Have I ever told you that you’re the absolute best?”

“I could stand to hear it a few more times,” Nino said.

Adrien grinned. “Noted.”

…

Chapter 7: The Five Minute Adventures of Ananta

#miraculous ladybug fan fiction #marichat #platonic adrino #trigger warning: addiction #hurt comfort #coping #identity reveal #time loops #The five minute adventures of snake noir #a miraculous reveal #ml spoilers #ml s4 #my own content #this fic writes itself #I'm just the channel #happy reading

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