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#dont let depression win
the-anxious-artiste · 1 month
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I have recently realized that with exhaustion comes inexorable rumination. My soul is deeply intertwined in a battle of endurance against the parasitic shadows in my mind. When I run myself thin, it gets nigh impossible to fight the fear, anxiety, and pain of my past as well as an ill-perceived future. The majority of my daily energy is directed into sustaining my sanity against this fleet of inner demons. This leads to many seemingly unending, sleepless nights as my thoughts flush themselves into the deepest depths of its sewage. Leaving me to pray I stay afloat in the rapids... forced to take a single deep breath before inevitably being pulled under... perpetually hoping to resurface before I lose my vision.
So anyway... All this came about when my QP offered to read to me when I could not find rest, and managed to lull me to sleep with her dulcet voice in a matter of minutes. I wanted to express that there is nothing sincere enough for me to stutter from my heart to serve as an accurate reflection my deepest appreciation. How is one supposed to encapsulate that much gratitude into a simple set of wordage?
I suppose the best place for me to start would be a simple "thank you."
I appreciate you, love.
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miamierre · 10 months
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being so brave today (gonna travel a solid 2 hours to go to a 30 minute interview)
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dirt-str1der · 10 months
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Yaoi has poisoned all of your fucking brains !!
#Yakuza HATEblog#i dont want to hear about the new yakuza trailer where kiryu proposed to soemone he wouldnnever do that thats so scary#also they refered to sayama as the cop lady like please show some respect to her she didnt be annoying for you to forget her#ive become homophobic now because i hated seeing a particular post so much like that will never happen you are crazy#like no this isnt how kzmj can win they have never even once considered a future together because kiryus foreplanning ended when he lost#his brother and majima has spent half her life waiting for saejima to come back like they have more important things to worry about#and kiryu is not able to share his kids with anybody he cant simultaneously raise haruka with someone he has to either be a single dad or an#absent dad no in between and sometimes haruka is left parentless in the middle of that mess but its not kiryus problem hes driving cars amd#beating people up .... well he does care sorry for insinuating he doesnt ... he thinks about his kids every day#but i guarantee you he does not think about majima every day i swear it to you he does not care about her that much !!! i have to forever#stress this doesnt mean that he hates majima but it simply means that shes not his priority AND SHE WILL NEVER BE !!! kiryu will never#risk it all just for a suckle on that majiwilly like he doesnt like her that much ... if kiryu didnt even give majima so much as a phonecall#when he was ignoring her the entirety of y3 AFTER tossing her back to the wolves just so he can play house at okinawa.. hes not going to#suddenly realise that he wants to spend the rest of his life with majima hes going to be pondering how miserable he is while beating the#fuck out of people because sorry i didnt actually pay attention to the gaiden stuff is kiryu a hitman now or some sort of mercenary either#way its so hot that hes paralleled by y0 majima because hes so depressed and wants to kill himself and forced to wear a nice suit and do#things he doesnt want to while being kept on a tight leash like hohooho ... have sex with me ...!!!#im going to kill him myself to put him out of his misery if i have to ... just let kiryu run off to america and join the cia im kidding but#wait i just thought of him actually running off and sayama pulling some strings in the force to keep people from looking for him because#shes like a bigshot cop now ... i think she should be able to cradle him gently and keep him like a show cat#a shivering wet penis in the rain and she takes him in and gives him a loving home ... i feel a little embarrassed talking about hetships#but the concept of kiryu just being in her house and living with her is making me laugh like wow ... hes straight now.... like obviously hes#still not going to be like lets get married 🥰 but sayama would want to... i believe that she could forge their documents so kiryu isnt an#illegal immigrant anymore and she gives him an american name so john yakuza can become real ... its like a fake dating au but they really#arent dating theyre just having sex and acting out scenes from a kdrama but eventually kiryu will have to go back because hes so sad#without his kids and he needs to see them one last time to pass away peacefully. sorry i just remembered how much older kiryu was than#sayama like thats a bit funny ... like i still think kiryu should be into older guys or girls but like we cant always have that happen#like how majimas options for getting fucked by creepy old guys are getting lesser year by year because those old geezers keep dying and hes#old now too ... like theyre so old thats fucked. i know ive been saying how kzmj can never win but i do think majima should breastfeed kiryu
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todayisafridaynight · 10 months
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i went on a walk and came back 60% more evil
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mistninja · 1 year
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Also!! My birthday is nexy saturday <3
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consider me on hiatus for a week unless we get skyblock news or something, i dont feel like being social here
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sensazioneultra · 1 year
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every day i thank heaven that i like my job
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kaleuh · 1 year
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breakdances
hey all just a reminder that it doesn't matter if you're depressed, or if a loved one died - if you dont take care of your teeth you're gonna end up like me with two root canals + crowns for a grand total of $1k punched out of your savings.
lethargy can turn into a form of self harm. after jason died i didnt want to do anything. especially after an awful two years of family abuse, a global pandemic, having to initiate a breakup, and unstable living environments. i said 'Fuck it' to my health and wellbeing, stopped sleeping, stopped caring for my surroundings, and stopped caring for myself (teeth included.) i did - and still do - whatever it takes to get me through the day, with the excuse that i wasn't doing anything stereotypically detrimental. I don't drink, or smoke, or do drugs, or spend money recklessly, so I held to the fact that I was at least being ""responsible"" as an excuse to lean into other bad behaviors; like having the diet of a 10 year old, eating no real nutritious meals while consuming whatever sugary thing would make me feel better at the moment - feeling entitled to not having to maintain clean teeth, not wanting to even slightly inconvenience my sloth and depression.
^^ this is the shit that will get you. overcome it. set alarms. you want to care about what happens to you. don't let lethargy silently smother you into long-term damage to your body.
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jakethesequel · 9 months
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We must imagine Sisyphus happy. Many misunderstand this line and it makes me sad because it's so important to my life. Camus is about clawing your way to happiness through rebellion. You might think we must imagine Sisyphus happy because he doesn't let the bad things get to him, that he's some Stoic ideal of not letting it effect him, that he finds joy in the little things and accepts what he cannot change like a good little worker. This is not true. Remember: the rock is Sisyphus's punishment. The gods themselves have given Sisyphus an afterlife specifically designed to make him suffer. That is his life's meaning. He cannot escape his life. To accept his lot would mean to accept that his suffering is eternal and unyielding, that the gods have won. We cannot let him do this. He must desperately wring drops of joy from his stone like a dessicated man in a desert searches for water. Maybe you can think of a moment when the world told you you are doomed to unhappiness and worked hard to make certain of it. I know I can. The gods want Sisyphus suicidal. We must imagine him happy.
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autisticlee · 11 months
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no one I know or meet seems to sees things the way i do. others either see everything as a competition or a thing they're bad at and/or too embarrassed to try....
i see it as an opportunity to have fun with friends, laugh together and at ourselves, and form good memories. working together, not against each other by making everything competitive. despite being bad at something or looking silly. and in spite of what other people might think about that!
I honestly can't stand trying to hang out with people who want to make everything a competition. I do not want to compete with you or anyone else! that is not fun for me at all. stop it. you don't need to win at something all the time. learn how to relax for once.
I also can't stand people who spend more time thinking about what other people around us might think about them and refuse to do things and miss fun opportunities because of those thoughts. they won't try new things or things they aren't perfect at because they're afraid to look silly or weird or whatever. so they hold back and miss out on things. or refuse to do them at all and miss out on everything. and that make me miss out on them too, because it's not fun or possible to do it alone and defeats the whole purpose!
#if you care more about winning or mkre about what other people think about you then i dont really want to be friends tbh lmao#im tired of people like that. that's the only type of people that i ever get a chance to talk to and i never have fun 😭#autistic#actually autistic#neurodivergent#adhd#audhd#lee rambles#dont know if those things have to do with this actually but maybe someone will find this and can relate? idk...#some people are so good at casually enjoying things while not caring what anyone thinks and i wanna be around that energy!#i want to absorb the big fun confident energy. i absord the energy of whoever im with#so i need people who are positive and fun and confident#im tired of being sad and depressed and afraid and whatever other negative energies most people feed me 😭#im a little gremlin that feeds off auras and have a perperual tummy ache becuase they all taste bad#how do i find people who share the same views? everyone i meet and interact with has different views from me#i know its good to experience people with different views from your own and whatever#but it gets so boring and lonely to have no one who views things the same way and can join you! 😭#always having to bend backwards to appease others and never get things “my way” even once sucks#i used to always immediately let others decide everything and do it their way because i was told im selfish if i ask even ONCE#for things to be my way. so i stopped asking at all. until i got too tired and now im always trying. but people whine and cry#until it's their way. or they won't do it at all with me there. so i have to give in anyway!#I JUST WANT SOMEONE ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH AS ME SO THINGS GO SMOOTHLY HOW WE BOTH WANT BECAUSE WE MATCH PERFECTLY#WHY IS THAT IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME!!!!!!! WHY DOES THIS PERSON NOT EXIST IN THIS WORLD#must be nice to just be able to do things easily and not have to compromise every single thing just to get someone to hang out/be friends
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shinigami-sensei · 2 years
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hi hi hi!!! i saw that you were open to shadow and bone requests and i was wondering if you’d be willing to write a nikolai lantsov imagine? just imagine princess!reader being forced into an arranged marriage with the second son of the king of ravka, and instead of going through with it she runs away. she then stumbles upon a particularly charming privateer who just so manages to win over her heart……
Enchanted
Request: hi hi hi!!! i saw that you were open to shadow and bone requests and i was wondering if you’d be willing to write a nikolai lantsov imagine? just imagine princess!reader being forced into an arranged marriage with the second son of the king of ravka, and instead of going through with it she runs away. she then stumbles upon a particularly charming privateer who just so manages to win over her heart…
and: btw I saw your post about sab season 2 and i would like to request something with nikolai. i dont really have any ideas but i love that blonde boy so anything that you'll write with him is going to make me happy- but if its angst please im begging for a happy ending im already depressed because im reading rules of wolves
and: omg omg omg enchanted x nikolai sounds so perfect 😭 literally written for him
Hi! I absolutely adore these requests, thank you for sending them in. And sorry for the long wait, I’ve been a bit busy. And please bear with me while I try and get the hang of writing for Nikolai, this is only my second time. Also, this request was combined with two others, I hope that’s alright, and sorry for anyone who’s request was altered a little bit to fit this story. I’m happy to accept another request if you don’t like this one. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this! 
(Warnings: arranged marriage, swearing, very very brief angst, very vague suggestive content, drinking, let me know if i missed anything)
You had nearly begged on your knees when you found out you were to be wed, pleading with your parents’ advisors. 
You were no fool. You knew that one day you’d have to marry, and you were prepared to do your duty. A Princess isn’t awarded the luxury of a choice, and you knew any match that was made probably wouldn’t be from a place of love. But you never thought your parents would be prepared to ship you off to a man none of you had ever even laid eyes on, and that’s including the advisors.
A second son, and a rumored bastard at that. It was all happening too fast, and you weren’t having an easy time processing it. 
“You can’t send me! We already have an alliance with Ravka, why send me still?”
One of the men had stood, trying to ease you. “You must go, Princess. We may have an alliance, but our forces need to be strengthened. Prince Vasily is already spoken for. Marrying you to Prince Nikolai is the fastest way.”
“I am told he is charming, if it is any consolation,” another man said, though his voice was firmer. “It is time, Princess, for you to do your duty. You will marry.”
You finally relented, your fate beginning to set in. “That’s it, then. When will I be expected to leave?”
There was a moment of silence, and an awkward shuffling of feet as the advisors stood. And then one of the men spoke, sending dread running through you like ice in your veins. 
“Your arrival is set for the end of the week. The King and Queen are expecting you.”
The journey passed far quicker than you had anticipated. A trip like that should have been grueling, yet each moment felt more fleeting than the last. By the time you arrived on Ravkan soil, you would practically be theirs. Upon your arrival, you were escorted to the Great Hall to meet the King and Queen. 
“Moi tsar,” you curtsied, keeping your eyes low. “Moi tsaritsa. It is an honor.”
The words tasted sour on your tongue, but you spoke them anyway. The King and Queen were not known to be the kindest of people, and you’d rather spend your time in a foreign country on the good side of the sovereign. 
“Princess,” the King greeted as he stood, his eyes racking your body. “You are as beautiful as they say. My son will be pleased. Unfortunately, your arrival has preceded his. He attended a meeting with our generals, and is set to arrive in a few days. The wedding will be in a fortnight. Until then, please enjoy our hospitality. I look forward to this new found alliance between our great countries.”
“As do I,” you said, forcing a smile. 
As the days passed, you grew more uneasy. The weight of your duties were beginning to drag you down, and you didn’t know if you could bear the burden any longer. 
Nikolai had yet to return to court, but with his inevitable arrival looming, it became harder to face each day. You were practically alone in the castle, having yet to make any friends. And you doubted the arrival of a Prince—the subject of scandalous rumors—would do anything to lessen the loneliness and fear you felt every night. 
One evening, the pressure became too great.
Despite your duties, and the anger you knew both countries would feel towards you, you fled. It was a rash decision, and a stupid one at that. But it was the only option that could give you your freedom, so you took it.
It led you all the way down to the harbor, which you briskly made your way to with little more than the clothes on your back.
Your window of opportunity was closing, and you took it. In mere hours, someone would notice you were missing from your room. Guards would be sent all throughout the palace, and they’d track you down if you weren’t quick enough. One way or another, you would marry the second Prince of Ravka. You’d be forced to. And although the thought of being alone in an open country you knew next to nothing about terrified you, it was less terrifying than the thought of being trapped in that castle forever. 
So you went. Fled, more accurately. All the way to the harbor, in nothing but a dress and cloak, with a bag of coins hidden in your skirts. 
As you approached the harbor, the shout of guards could be heard in the distance. “Spread out! She cannot have gone far.”
The Kingsguard.
You felt your chest tighten as you quickened your pace, pulling your hood over your head. You rushed as inconspicuously as you could, clambering to get as far from the palace as possible. Suddenly, you felt a hand on your wrist. 
“What’s the rush for, My Lady? You’re going to hurt yourself running in those shoes,” the woman said, her brows furrowing.
You stopped in your tracks to take her in, realizing she was standing next to a much larger man. She had axes sheathed at her waist, and a confused but intrigued grin. 
“Please, excuse me—” You stuttered out, trying to pull away.
“There’s no need to be afraid,” the man said, in a tone much gentler than his appearance. “We mean you no harm. What are you running from?”
“I need to get away from here, and fast,” you pleaded, deciding to trust these people who stopped you. 
“That wasn’t an answer to our question,” the woman said, easing her grip. 
You let out a frustrated sigh, turning to look over your shoulder before turning back. “Please, I’ll pay you whatever you want. Just let me go. I have to get out of here, and quickly.”
The woman shared a glance with the man, and for a minute, you were beginning to think you had been found out. They somehow recognized you, and would know that the castle guards were looking for you. If that was true, the pair didn’t show it, looking back at you. 
“We have a ship,” the man finally said, gesturing behind him. “And a captain. A name you’d perhaps recognize. Sturmhond.”
Sturmhond, you thought to yourself. The richest pirate on the True Sea? What was he doing in a port in Ravka? You shook your head, having no time for questions. 
“Would he grant me safe passage? I can pay, I have the means. Please, I need to know if this is my only option of getting out of here. I haven’t done anything illegal, I promise. I just need to go.”
The woman laughed, her relaxed disposition beginning to ease you. “Illegal would have been more fun. Don’t worry, Princess. We’ll take you to our captain. You’ll be safe with us.”
Your eyes widened, and you stepped back to retreat, when the man raised his hands in surrender. 
“We mean you no harm, Princess. Clearly, you’re in trouble, and we have the means to get you away from the palace.”
“Trust me,” the woman said, offering you her hand. “We have no wish to return to the palace.. I’m sure our captain isn’t too keen, either.”
You looked between the ship and back at the castle uneasily, when you heard another shout coming from the guards marching through the village. You turned towards the man and woman, who you just realized looked very similar. Siblings, perhaps, who had just gotten back from a journey at sea.
“Sturmhond is quite the character, but he’s a good man. You have my word,” the man said. 
“Alright,” you said, making your decision as you took the woman’s hand. “I’ll go. Thank you, uh…”
You trailed off, making the man smile. He led you towards a nearby ship, helping you climb your way onto it. 
“I’m Tolya, and that’s my sister Tamar. We’re part of Sturmhond’s crew. Come along, he’ll want to meet you.”
They quickly led you aboard a ship, ushering the crew to cast off. The crew looked around with confused faces, but listened anyway. As the ship slowly left the harbor, you were led downstairs to the cabins below. 
“Captain,” Tamar called, knocking on the first doorway below deck, before opening the door herself. 
“Do you want to tell me why my ship is moving away from the dock?” Sturmhond asked without turning around, shuffling through his cabin as he pulled on his coat. 
You cleared your throat. “That would be because of me, I think.”
Sturmhond turned around at the sound of your voice, his eyes widening as he took you in. “I don’t believe it. Good evening, Princess. I do hope you are well. Tamar and Tolya have treated you kindly, I expect?”
You shrunk under his gaze, letting out a nervous chuckle. “Is my title that easy to spot? You’re the second to figure it out, is it something I’m doing?”
“Tamar has a keen eye,” Sturmond shrugged, grinning. “But you’re also wearing an evening gown fit for court, and the jewels around your neck could buy a small country. Those things aren’t exactly subtle, darling. Even with that cloak.”
You nodded, still nervous but relaxing with his calm demeanor. “I was told you could grant me passage away from the palace? I can pay, I don’t expect you to do this out of the kindness of your heart. But seeing as we’ve already left the harbor, I don’t think you have any other option but to take me with you. Unless you intend on throwing me overboard into the bay, although I’ll thank you kindly not to do that.”
“In that dress? You’d sink to the bottom, darling. There’s no need to worry, Princess. You’ll stay dry on deck, that I can assure you,” he chuckled, motioning for you to sit. 
“We’ll inform the crew our trip has been extended,” Tamar announced, pulling Tolya behind her to leave the cabin. 
You sat in the chair on the other side of Sturmhond’s desk, and he sat across from you. He offered you a kind smile, one that surprised you. You had heard plenty about the infamous privateer. You hadn’t expected him to be this young and handsome. His reputation matched that of an old tycoon, not of what appeared to be an ex soldier. He looked at you with curiosity, motioning for you to speak. 
“So, would you like to explain to me why my ship is sailing back out to sea? Not that I’m upset or anything, I was dreading my return to Ravka myself. But as I understand it, you were asked to come to Ravka to strengthen a political alliance—”
“And how would you know about that?” You interrupted, raising a brow. 
He smiled, shrugging. “I have my ways. It pays to know lots of things about lots of things. Including which Princesses are being married off to far away royalty.”
“Do you know him?” You asked, your voice a little unstable. “The Prince, I mean. Nikolai. I could hardly find anyone who knew him, and any knowledge of him was limited. I went into this alliance blind, thanks to my parents and advisors.”
Sturmhond’s grin widened as he nodded. “I do know him, yes. We were briefly acquainted some time ago.”
“And?”
“He’s alright,” Sturmhond laughed, leaning back in his seat. “Dashingly handsome. A bit cocky for my taste, perhaps a little spoiled, but what royalty isn’t, right? No offense.”
You smiled, shaking your head. “None taken.”
“I suppose you’re lucky in that you’re set to marry him, and not the Crown Prince. Vasily is—how should I put this—well…”
“A bastard?” You finished, making Sturmhond chuckle, nodding. 
“He is, yes. Nikolai is, in another manner of speaking, the same as well. Is that why you’re running? You don’t want to risk your reputation on a second son who may not even be the second son?”
Sturmhond looked at you through curious eyes, although there was a little apprehension in them. A little vulnerability that you didn’t quite know what to make of. You shook your head, inadvertently easing his thoughts. 
“It’s just rumors, Sturmhond. Whether there is any truth to them, I don’t know, and I don’t care. History records names, not blood. A true Lantsov or not, it doesn’t matter to me. It’s not Nikolai’s fault who his true parents are, and he shouldn’t have to bear the consequences of their actions. All that matters to my parents is what he means for my country. His reputation doesn’t affect that.”
“And what matters to you?” Sturmhond asked, his eyes softening. “Your secrets are safe with me, and I promise to not throw you overboard for whatever your answers are. Why are you running, Princess?”
You sat in silence for a moment, letting out a heavy sigh. Sturmhond politely waisted for you to start, nodding encouragingly for you to speak. 
You fiddled with your hands in your lap nervously. “Nikolai’s blood doesn’t matter to me, truly. All that really matters is that he has a kind heart, and he makes living at Ravkan court for the rest of my life more bearable.” 
Sturmhond nodded as he listened intently. You continued.
“From what I hear, he’s a perfectly good man. Compared to my list of options, he was probably the best I could have hoped for.”
“Was? Or is? Do you intend on running forever? Seems like a waste of time in what is already a fleeting existence, Princess,” he said quietly. 
“I know,” you nodded, growing frustrated. “I don’t know why I did it. I just thought about being alone at court for the rest of my life, and even the promise of a semi decent Prince wasn’t enough to ease my fears. I just wanted control over my own life for once, you know? My own freedom. It was a rash decision, I admit. But it seems to be working well in my favor so far.”
Sturmhond nodded, standing up from his desk to pour two glasses of whiskey. You downed yours the second he placed it in front of you, deciding it was better to let the second one sit when he refilled your glass.
“And Nikolai? What are his thoughts on the matter?”
You shrugged, fiddling with the glass. “I don’t know. He hasn’t been at court since I arrived. I have yet to meet him. Although, once he hears of me running, I’m sure any first impressions he could have had of me are ruined.”
“I don’t know about that.”
You raised a brow, coaxing him to continue. “Really? Why is that?”
“From what I hear, Nikolai isn’t really one for court, either,” he started, shrugging. “He runs when he gets the chance, too. Why do you think he’s away from court so often?”
You pondered the thought for a minute. “I don’t know. I always assumed his duties took him elsewhere. He’s not the Crown Prince, so he doesn’t need to remain in the palace. He serves in the First Army, doesn’t he?”
Sturmhond nodded, grinning. “He does. Or, to put it more accurately, he did. I think he just loiters around neighboring countries until his Mother forces him to come home and make an appearance now.”
You chuckled, letting out a deep sigh. “Isn’t that a treat? Coming home for the first time in months, only to find out your bride to be has run away.”
“With a face like that, I doubt he’ll care much about anything once he sees you.” 
You felt the heat creep to your cheeks at his words, setting your eyes to your lap to avoid Sturmhond’s heavy gaze. You could practically hear the smirk in his voice as he breathed out a laugh. 
“Besides, I’m told the Prince isn’t expected back at court for a few more days. Plenty of time for you to decide whether or not you want me to turn this ship around. Who would I be to deny a Princess?”
You smiled, your voice soft. “And if I don’t want to turn around?”
“Well, you’re paying me. I don’t really care either way, I’ll take you anywhere you want to go,” he said, grinning as he topped your glass off. “But just between you and me, I’d do it for free. Anything for a pretty face like that. Just don’t go telling everyone I said that, I have a reputation to maintain.”
You laughed, nodding. “Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.”
You spent the next few days on the ship, feeling more and more at ease the further you made it from Ravkan shores. 
At night, you longed for home. 
Not for you parents, or any of their advisors. But for your own bed—not on a constantly rocking ship—and the familiar trill of the birds outside your window on dewy mornings. For the library in the East Wing people seemed to forget was even there, and the soup the cooks would make when a chill was in the air. For the gardens midmorning where you could escape to when you wanted to avoid all the guards constantly watching you. 
Sturmhond did a good job at keeping you distracted from saddening thoughts, though. It was sweet of him, really. Making sure you had someone with you during the day, taking all his meals with you in the evening. 
Your time on the ship was the most relaxed you had been in a long time, actually, which you attributed to him. 
Sturmhond had quite the representation amongst high society—or any society, really—and he certainly met your expectations. He was charming, and attractive. Clever and ambitious, like everyone said he was. 
You hadn’t expected him to be as attentive as he is, however. He seemed to really enjoy a new guest on the ship, one that could keep up with his banter. He didn’t make you feel like a burden like your parents so often did, actually including you in his daily routine. 
Tolya and Tamar were great, too. Kind, and funny. Fiercely loyal and protective, both of their captain and of each other. They were the kind of friends you hoped to make during your time in Ravka. 
So far, it was off to a good start. 
As the days moved on, you found yourself growing closer to Sturmhond. You tried to stop yourself in the beginning. Despite not wanting it for yourself, you were engaged to Nikolai. Falling for another man wasn’t exactly a good thing for your future
But that damned smile.
His ridiculously attractive smile, and his stupid mop of hair that had only gotten longer from his time at sea. The infuriating way he’d look at you and make you want to shrink away from his gaze, but you could never bring yourself to look away. The obnoxious green emerald ring he wore that could probably buy a small village.
He had charmed you, despite your reservations, and you were practically head over heels. It scared the absolute shit out of you. 
Tamar had of course noticed already, confronting you about it one night after dinner. She joined you on deck, sitting next to you on a crate as you watched the stars twinkle in the sky. They were so visible out at sea, away from all the lights and clutter of the cities. 
“You’re not hiding anything from me, you know,” she smirked, sneaking your flask away to take a few sips from it. 
You feigned innocence, shaking your head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Tamar.”
“Come on, darling. Let’s skip the bluffing…you like him. It’s so obvious.”
“Saints, I hope not,” you groaned, scrunching your nose up at the thought of Sturmhond finding out. 
Tamar grinned at your embarrassment, chuckling. “Don’t worry. I may not swing that way, but I know the look when I see it. He’s all puppy dog eyes and desperate looks of longing when he sees you. It’s gross, really. I can actually hear his heart skip a beat when he sees you. He likes you, too. I’d stake money on it.”
You swallowed down your excitement, trying to think rationally. “Don’t even joke about that, it’s not funny.”
“I’m serious! You’re a catch, Princess. He may be my captain, but he’d be a fool not to want you.”
“That’s sweet of you to say, but we can stop there,” you nervously chuckled. “We don’t need this going to my head. I’ll do something stupid like staying on this boat forever.”
She grinned, nudging your shoulder with hers. “Would that be so bad?”
The next few days, you couldn’t get Tamar’s words out of your head. You went on with your routine with Sturmhond as usual, trying not to put much thought into it. 
Your feelings for him were true, that’s for sure. 
And when you’d catch him looking at you from across the deck, you’d swear by the look in his eye that he felt something for you, too. What it was, exactly, you didn’t know. 
But it was something. 
On your last evening before you had to make a decision about where you wanted to go, you skipped dinner. You couldn’t bring yourself to go along with your usual banter with Sturmhond, beginning to feel guilty about just how close and comfortable you’d gotten with him. 
You still had a duty to your country and your family, which meant at least a little to you. Plus, it wasn’t fair to make a promise to Prince Nikolai, only to leave him hanging when he returned to Ravka. 
You were leaning against the deck railing, watching the way the moonlight bounced over the still waters. So lost in thought, you almost didn’t register Sturmhond’s approaching footsteps. 
“A bit chilly for stargazing, isn’t it?” He asked, coming to stand next to you. 
You turned to see him, smiling when you noticed he was wearing his signature blue coat. You couldn’t remember a time since you met that he wasn’t dressed to the nines, no matter what time of day it was. 
“You know, for a pirate, you don’t really look like one.” 
He grinned, gently correcting you. “A privateer, darling, not a pirate. There’s a difference, I assure you.”
“Ah, a privateer. How could I have forgotten?” You chuckled, hugging yourself in an effort to shield your arms from the biting cold. “But seriously. The emerald on your finger is the size of a walnut, and that coat is fit for royalty. I find it hard to believe a privateer does well enough to afford things as nice as those.”
“Maybe I’m just good at my job,” he retorted, that signature smirk on his face.
It was enough to stir butterflies in your stomach, making you turn to look back out at the water. His gaze lingered on you a moment, and you could feel the heat creeping up to your cheeks under the weight of his stare. 
“You’re cold,” he observed, breaking the silence.
“I’m fine,” you tried to say, but Sturmhond interrupted you.
“I can practically hear your teeth chattering,” he laughed, shrugging his coat from his shoulders. “Here. Seeing as my coat is fit for royalty, as you say, I think it’ll suit you better.”
“Sturmhond—”
“Princess,” he mirrored, smirking when you relented, letting him place it around your shoulders. 
“Thank you,” you said softly.
You turned away from the water to face him, leaning back against the bannister. His eyes flitted up and down your form at his coat wrapped around shoulders, before his eyes met yours. He took a seat on the crate behind him, leaning back and settling into the post next to him. It was quiet a moment before he finally spoke.
“You weren’t in your cabin at dinner. Where have you been?”
You sighed, fiddling with the sleeve of his coat. “Thinking.”
“Thinking? About what?”
“About my future,” you said shakily, shoulders slumping. “Both the imminent one, and the one to follow based on what I decide tonight.”
Sturmhond nodded, seemingly lost in thought. “I’ve been thinking about that, too, if I’m being honest.”
You raised a brow at his words. He’d been thinking about your future? He’d been thinking about you? The thought was both intriguing and terrifying, and you hoped the confusion on your face wasn’t too apparent.
“Well, I…I’m sorry, what?”
“Your future directly impacts me,” he quickly corrected, suddenly steeling his face and meeting your confusion with his usual grin. “Where you go I go, remember? You are paying me, after all.”
You tried to hide your disappointment, forcing a smile. It was a foolish hope to have, that he’d think something more of you. But it wasn’t a hope you were ready to give up. 
Not just yet, at least. 
He seemed to notice your disappointment, brows furrowing. “Have I upset you?”
“No,” you quickly replied, trying to brush it off with a laugh. “No, it’s not you. I’m just not quite sure what I should do. I know you need an answer, and Ravka needs an answer, but…I don’t have one yet.”
“Why?” 
You shook your head, sighing in frustration. “Earlier, I had more than halfway made up my mind. I value my freedom, but I think I value my dignity more. I don’t think I could go anywhere and face anyone, knowing I’ve turned my back on my duties. It may have not been a promise I made for myself personally, but it is a promise I had every intention of keeping.”
“Then what’s stopping you?” He asked, a genuine look of concern on his face.
His eyes softened on you as your face fell, and you turned away from him as you felt heat creep up to your cheeks. You could hear him stand and approach you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. 
“Princess?” He asked, only worsening your embarrassment. 
He spoke again, finally getting you to acknowledge him. “You’re worrying me, darling. Surely it cannot be that bad.”
“But it is,” you groaned, pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes to stave off the tears you could feel brewing. 
“Try me,” he said gently, carefully placing a hand on your arm. “You can tell me the truth. What’s stopping you from returning to Ravka?”
You could feel his touch even through the coat, which struck you like a punch to the gut when you remembered it was, in fact, his coat you were wearing. And to make it worse, that damned grin was on his face as he spoke with such a genuine kindness in his voice that it made you want to cry. 
You finally met his eyes, taking a sharp breath. Shit, you thought to yourself. You were really going to admit it. He eagerly awaited your response, which you finally managed to utter. 
“You.”
He sucked in a breath, withdrawing his hand. He looked up at the sky for a moment, before taking another breath and turning back to you. 
“Me?” He asked. 
“You,” you said again, exasperatedly laughing. “You, and your ridiculous clothes, and your infuriating charm, and your kindness and ambition…that damned smile.” 
Sturmhond’s cheeks flushed, and he took a step back, although he was grinning like a fool. He couldn’t stop himself if he tried. You didn’t dare speak, waiting for him to say something. After an agonizing moment of silence, he leaned against the bannister, letting out a chuckle.
“What?” You forced yourself to ask, preparing yourself for his answer. 
“Saints, Princess…you’ve gone and done it now.”
You shook your head, your heart dropping to the pit of your stomach. “What?”
“You’ve managed to outdo me. On my own ship. Quite the feat, I’ll give you that,” he laughed, still grinning. 
You narrowed your eyes, still shaking your head. “Sturmhond, I don’t have a fucking clue what you’re saying to me right now. Will you do the honor of enlightening me, or are you going to stand there grinning at me all night?”
“You like my grin,” he mused, making you flush.
He spoke again, saving you from your embarrassment. “And it just so happens that I like yours, too. I like all of you. Very much so indeed, Princess.”
Your heart lurched into your throat at his words, and you had to grab ahold of the bannister behind you to keep yourself steady. He placed his hand over top of yours, his palm warming yours. 
“I cannot believe you beat me to the punch. It’s rude to upstage a captain on his own ship. You’re lucky you’re royalty. I’ll allow it just this once.”
You had just now calmed your breathing, beginning to take in the weight of his words, and what it meant for you both. “Sturmhond, I—”
“I have a confession to make,” he suddenly said in a very serious tone, startling you. “I don’t mean to interrupt you, but I must tell you something before either of us share something we can’t take back.”
“Alright…” You said uneasily. 
Carefully, he took your hand in his, giving it a squeeze. You let him hold it, waiting for him to speak. Absentmindedly, you comfortingly ran your thumb along the back of his hand, silently reassuring him. 
“My name isn’t Sturmhond,” he finally said, the nerves in his voice the worst you had ever heard them. 
Trying not to jump to any hasty conclusions, you nodded, squeezing his hand once more. “Alright…if it isn’t Sturmhond, then what is it?”
“Well, technically it is, but it also isn’t. It’s just a nickname—” He rambled, and you placed your other hand on top of his to stop him. 
“I gathered that much. What else are you trying to tell me? Go on, you can say it.”
He took a deep breath, his voice soft. “It’s true that people call me Sturmhond, but I’m much better known for my birth name…Nikolai. Nikolai Lantsov.”
The realization struck you like a bolt of lightning. You tried not to flinch in his grasp, but you knew he could feel you stiffen. You cleared your throat, feeling your voice begin to grow hoarse
“Nikolai Lantsov…as in Prince Nikolai Lantsov, second son of the Ravkan throne? Moi tsarevich,” you croaked out, attempting to curtsy. 
“Please,” Nikolai said, holding both your hands in his to keep you from bowing. “There is no need for such formalities, darling. If anything, I should be the one bowing to you.”
You stood up straight, shaking your head. “We’re long past that, don’t you think?” 
He chuckled, nodding. “I suppose so.”
The reality of your situation began to set in, and you couldn’t stop yourself from chuckling along with him. He smiled at the sound, raising a brow. 
“What is it?”
“I suppose my little dilemma is solved then,” you said, shrugging. “I was beginning to spiral, thinking my annoying habit of not being able to contain my feelings had ruined any decision I could have made. But of course—in your usual fashion—you’ve managed to upstage me. As is your right, it is your ship, after all. Well, I suppose there’s no decision to make now. At least, I think there isn’t…right?”
Any nerves you had mustered up were immediately squashed when Nikolai brought his hands up to cup your face, running his thumbs across the tops of your cheeks.
“I wasn’t lying when I said I’d take you wherever you wanted to go. All I can hope now is that you’ll allow me to join you…wherever that is.”
You brought a hand up to rest against his wrist. “Don’t you want to go home? You’re expected back in Ravka any day now.”
“I love my country, but I’m in no hurry to return. You’ve told me multiple times how dreadful court was for you—”
“That doesn’t matter,” you quickly said, squeezing his wrist. 
“Of course it does! I cannot ask you to return to a country you’ll be miserable in for the rest of your days for a man you barely know.”
“It’s a good thing you aren’t asking, then,” you reaffirmed, giving him a smile. “I told you. I made a promise, and I intend to keep it. I said that I was afraid I would be all alone at court, and that I was afraid the man I am promised to wouldn’t want a life with me.” 
“What a fool he’d have to be to not want that,” Nikolai joked, making your grin widen.
You continued to reassure him, not convinced that he was believing your words. 
“You say that you’ll follow me wherever I go. Well, I want to go with you. Wherever that is. And I want you to go home. I may have not known you for long, but I’ve been around you long enough to know that you won’t truly be content if you’re tied to my wishes. And I know you’re too stubborn to admit that, so I’ll tell you my wishes, and I need you to believe me. I wish to be with you. I wish for you to return to wherever feels like home, and I wish for you to take me with you. If that’s Ravka, then Ravka will be home. Court will become much more bearable with you there. And if it begins to become too much, I know a certain privateer that can whisk us away for a few days.”
He was doing it again. Smiling like an idiot. He seemed to be in disbelief at your words, this being one of the very few times in his life that he couldn’t find the right words to say. 
“I didn’t mean to trick you, Princess. I should have told you who I was from the beginning.”
You shook your head. “I don’t blame you, Nikolai. If I was given the chance, I wouldn’t have told you who I really was, either. At least, not until I knew I could trust you. I would have done the same as you did. It’s alright.”
“I can’t believe my luck,” he grinned, taking your hand. “How is it that my betrothed managed to stumble upon my ship the very hour I returned to Ravka?”
You shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not one to believe in fate, and it sounds impossible.”
“Not impossible…improbable,” he corrected, smirking when you playfully narrowed your eyes up at him. 
You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t help but smile at your turn of luck. “Are we doing this? Are you going home to Ravka?”
“Are we going home, you mean? I can’t be expected to abandon my betrothed when she turns out to be the single most invigorating person I’ve ever met, now can I?”
“You cannot,” you agreed.
A comfortable moment of silence passed between you both, and you looked down at his hands as you held them in yours. The familiar glint of green on his finger made you chuckle. 
“I knew it, by the way,” you added, grinning. “This coat and that ring are far too ridiculous for a privateer. They’re fit for royalty. Fit for a Lantsov.”
“Am I to understand that you’re not interested in a Lantsov emerald for your engagement ring?” He asked, smirking when you quickly shook your head.
You laughed, pulling his hand closer to inspect his ring. “I said nothing of the sort. I was merely observing how ridiculous it is, as well as this coat. But I’m still wearing it, aren’t I? If I’m going to be married to a ridiculous man, I should begin preparing now, shouldn’t I?”
He narrowed his eyes, playfully jutting his chin up at you. “You just like the coat and want to keep it. It’s alright, darling, you can admit it. We can have your own fitted for you, all you have to do is ask.”
Nikolai gripped the hem of your sleeve, tugging you closer by the arm of his coat. You let him pull you, chuckling nervously when he drew you nearer. 
“I admit nothing, only that my future husband has a taste I will have to acquire. But I’m sure I’m up for the task. We have all the time in the world now, don’t we?”
“We do,” he smiled, settling his hands around your waist. “Although I’ll have to admit, I don’t think we know each other well enough to become husband and wife.”
You tensed under his hold, and he quickly retracted his statement, shaking his head. He didn’t give you enough time to truly panic, interrupting your train of thought. 
“And that’s perfectly fine, darling. Like you said, we have all the time in the world to get to know each other. I think I’d like to take advantage of that starting now. After all, it is our last night on the ship, isn’t it? At least, I assume it is. I expect you’ll want to set a course for Ravka now. Unless you’d rather I get down on one knee, and make a big show of it first. I can do that, if you wish.”
“I certainly wouldn’t stop you,” you chuckled, letting your hands rest on top of his as your tone shifted to a more serious note. “Are we really doing this, Nikolai? Returning to Ravka? Getting married?”
He smiled wider, a twinkle in his eye as he looked down at you. “I’ve wanted you since the moment you stepped foot on my ship, the second I laid eyes on you. And I’ve wanted you more every day since. I’m not one to believe in fate either, but I do think the Saints may have gifted you to me. Who knows what I did to deserve it, but you most definitely won’t find me questioning their will if you’re the result.”
You felt your heart swell at his words. He was right. Of all the ships in the harbor, his was the one you found yourself on. Of all the captains in Ravka, he was the one who took you in. The man you were supposed to marry, and you found yourself falling for him long before you even knew who he truly was. If that isn’t fate, then what is?
“I’ll take all the influence from the Saints I can get when it comes to explaining to your parents why I’ve disappeared right out from under them,” you said with a groan, leaning into him. 
Nikolai chuckled, holding you close. “My Mother will forget all about it when she sees my future safely secured with marriage. There is no need to worry, trust me.”
“I may not have to worry about her, but I do need to worry about Tamar,” you said, letting out a pained chuckle. “I think she staked money on our little situation.”
“She most definitely did. I expect Tolya will be paying up when they hear the news. Who should break it to him?”
You grinned, shaking your head. “I think that duty lies with you, as my future husband. If I’m going to have to listen to Tamar’s endless bragging about being right, then you should have to take half the burden in the form of telling Tolya. That’s how marriage works, isn’t it? Half and half. It’s only fair.”
It was his turn to groan now as he pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand, taking yours in the other. 
“Alright, I’ll do it, but you have to accompany me. I think your presence will help soften the blow. What do you say, darling? After all…it’s only fair.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, squeezing his hand. “If I must. You’re lucky you’re pretty, Lantsov.”
“Darling, I’m lucky for a lot more than that,” he smiled endearingly, and you couldn’t help but smile back.
— A/N - Hi! This is SO long, I’m so sorry. And I’m so sorry for taking so long to get this out, I’ve been busy and had no time to write. But I finally forced myself to get this done, and now I have more time to write! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this, let me know what you think! Thank you again for the requests :)
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yandereaffections · 1 year
Text
My Hero Academia Masterlist
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Izuku Midoriya (Deku)
Coming home covered in blood begging for love
Headcannons
“if you dont love me ill kill myself”
Deku vs Bakugo
Naga Izuku
S/o who is clingy during their period
Punishments
Kidnapped S/o giving up
Jealous S/o leaving hickeys all over him
College Roomate
Siren Izuku w/ Lost at sea S/o
S/o w/ Psychedelic quirk
Poly Uraraka/Deku w/ a S/o who loves to Knit
S/o w/ a Angelic quirk
Not letting anyone else touch his S/o
Poly Nage Deku/Bakugo w/ Harpy S/o
Naga Izuku w/ Crush whos terrified of snakes
S/o who is tired all the time
The Purge + Blind S/o
Poly Uraraka/Deku HC
Nurse S/o
Tough S/o using her quirk to play with kids
S/o who loves his fluffy hair
Bakugo + Izuku with a S/o whos Quirk ends up hurting them
Dating Aizawas daughter
“hows the weather up there?”
Siren
Villain Deku trying to supply his vampire s/o with his blood
Darlings whos accidently morbid and creepy
Finding Crush s/o crying cause they were rejected by someone else
Gifting him an actual heart in a jar for Valentines
Yandere Alphabet: B,D,H,M,O
Villain Deku Headcannons
Comforting S/o who is upset over a character design change
Goth Darling who melts at affection
Comforting S/o who feels objectified
Poly Deku & Uraraka Headcannons
S/o who cant kiss directly in fear of eye contact
Darling attracting butterflies to them with their blood
Kidnapped S/o breaking down in relief that they dont have to worry about school anymore
Kidnapped Darling demanding cuddles when coming home
S/o that demands affection
Darling who loves that love lolita fashion but broke
Poly Kirideku
S/o wearing a lolita dress inspired by his hero outfit
Izuku Midoriya vs Peter Parker
S/o likes to be carried by him
S/o escapes only to come back with fast food
S/o saying "Yo! Guess what I found!!" with a arrow in their shoulder
S/o who jokes they're basically a acrow with anxiety cause they love shiny
"Why would you want me? You could have anyone you wanted"
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Bakugo Katsuki
Deku vs Bakugo
Shut in S/o
S/o who has low self esteem due to family
S/o whose friends are affectionate
S/o Practicing their Love Confession with Deku
Accidentally hurting S/os feelings
Unknowingly kidnapping Vampire S/o
Liking Naga Bakugos punishments
Poly Nage Deku/Bakugo w/ Harpy S/o
Werewolf Bakugo protecting his mate
S/o whose parents dont let them have more than the minimum
S/o does illegal quirk cage battles
S/o Revealing her Healing quirk
Tall darling with low self esteem
Parents not supporting S/o after Winning tournament
Quiet crush Kabedoning him
S/o who can beat his ass
Bakugo + Izuku with a S/o whos Quirk ends up hurting them
S/o has a ‘villainous’ quirk
Kidnapped darling ignoring him
Naga Bakugo/Hunted down
Darling confessing to him first
Only being soft for his S/o
Villain Darling
S/o who’s the polar opposite of him
Finding his missing  kidnapped S/o in his bed
Kidnapped darling loving him back
S/o who spars cause they want to be pinned
Accidently hurting a low self esteem reader
Bat quirked reader
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Aizawa Shouta
Depressed S/o
Villain S/o
NS FW HC
The Purge
Vampire
Drider
Vampire S/o
Demon
Demon Aizawa w/ angel s/o
Life Threatening situation
S/o being forced to be a Villain cause their family is that way
Werewolf Aizawa
S/o who relaxes when he plays with their hair
Thicc S/o
S/o who loves cats just as much as him
Making him jealous from giving all your attention to cats
Cuddling HC
Hawks kidnapping Aizawas S/O prt 2 (prt one on Hawks section)
Shinso dating Aizawas child
Cat like S/o
Stalking celerity S/o
S/o with daddy issues
S/o w/ a Bear quirk
Taking care of his new child
Yandere Alphabet: A,B,E,L,W
Student reader turns out to be the UA Traitor
Finding his S/o tangled in his scarf
Headcannons
S/os personality changes around animals
Stalker Headcannons
Finding out crush sleeps with a eraser head plushie
Tall S/o that pulls him into their chest in every hug
Aizawa falling for a MILF S/o
S/o who was rejected at first before Aizawa fell for them
S/o avoiding him cause they think theyre annoying
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Todoroki Shoto
Jealous Todoroki
Yandere Crush
Kidnapping Tourist S/o
“You’ve already made me a victim, no need to make me a liar too”
Naga Todoroki
Yakuza Leader S/o attempting to send a hit on his father
S/o who wants to be a Manga artist more than a hero
Sick Darling
S/o whos clingy during their period
Yandere Alphabet: C,E,K,W
Falling for S/o HC
Villain Shoto w/ civilian crush
Villain Shoto w/ Villain crush
Engulfing him in a hug after a battle happy hes ok
S/o doesnt speak the same language
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Tsuyu Asui
S/o’s a fan of hers
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Hitoshi Shinso
Siren Hitoshi using his voice to make S/o take their swimsuit off
Naga Hitoshi
Shinso dating Aizawas child
How he would treat you
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Dabi Todoroki
Headcannons
S/o who’s unfazed by Dabis appearance
Innocent Baby sitter crush
Witch S/o
S/o with healing tears family constantly makes them cry
Freedom HC
Stealing his drugged crush after a dental surgery
socially awkward and anxious s/o
another social anxiety s/o HC
Celebrating S/os Birthday
Commenting he should visit his mother more
Gentle darling S/o
S/os in a loveless quirk marriage
Loner S/o
Fluff HCs
S/o who has a cruel family
S/o whos so scared of dadi they cry anytime he gets near
Kidnapping his S/o
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Shigaraki Tomura
HC
Buff s/o who’s actually a softie
someone hurting his darling right infront of him
Younger sister reader
S/o also has skin problems
Affectionate and loving darling
S/o who only allows him to touch them
Yandere Alphabet: A,B,H,I
S/o w/ a quirk similar to his own
Sick darling
Proposing to him
Finding out S/o is his favorite streamer
Peaceful S/o who hates violence
S/o who looking at him with motherly loving eyes
Breaking down and coming to him for comfort
Gentle darling
S/o saying he takes away their emotional pain
naive and trusting darling
“Do I need to remind you what happened last time you acted out? Because I will if you keep pushing me.”
Someone trying to save kidnapped S/o
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Kirishima Eijirou
Headcannons
Fluff HC
S/o who acts tough but is actually really soft
Finding his S/o fighting Bakugou
Poly Kirideku
Getting jealous over how you treat your friend
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Momo Yaoyorozu
Headcannons
S/o Spoiling her
S/o wants more stuffed animals but already has a bed full of them
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Poly Uraraka/Deku
Poly Uraraka/Deku w/ a S/o who loves to Knit
Poly Uraraka/Deku HC
More Poly Deku & Uraraka Headcannons
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Tamaki Amajiki
S/o isnt bothered with being kidnapped
S/o whos on their period
Tamaki + Mirio Poly HC
Vampire
S/o also has Anxiety
Kidnapped s/o insisting on a movie night
S/o is something like the mom of 1A
Seeing his darling is stabbed yet calm about it
Coming home to S/o and their collapsed pillow fort
S/o who loves to cook
Gifting him butterfly hairclips
Hearing S/o saying "Do you have Five wilting Cabbage Leaves instead of a Brain?" to another that tried asking them out
Kidnapped S/o who just stands there after breaking out of captivity
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Mirio
Tamaki + Mirio Poly HC
Accidentally bumping into Blind darling
S/o who likes cats but hes a dog person
S/o who has a god level quirk but is a dumbass
How his yandere tendencies are affected by losing his quirk
Darling flirting with other people
Bear quirk S/o
S/o missing school cause they got hurt while fighting a villain
S/o whos soft with Eri
Pregnant S/o who doesnt want to keep them
Rival s/o whos mad at him for taking their spot in the Big Three
Wooing a introvert darling
Villain Mirio
S/os boyfriend left her pregnant
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Hawks
Equally clingy S/o
S/o with wings
Cottagecore S/o
S/o with a symbiote quirk
Cat Quirk reader
S/o having a depressive episode
Quirkless S/o whos afraid of heights
S/o who loves the petname ‘kitten’
Hawks Bird habits HC
Soft S/o getting pissed and yelling in Spanish
Bathing with him
Finding out his S/o is pregnant
Kidnapped S/o whos chill as long as they have games
S/o whos dependent and clingy feels like he they dont deserve him
Demon
Vampire
Celebrating Halloween
S/o dressing up as him for Halloween
Purge
Villain Hawks
Comforting S/o whose friend started ignoring them suddenly
Falling for a different heros S/o
Hawks kidnapping Aizawas S/o (prt 2 on Aizawas section)
Almost forcing his Vegan S/o to eat meat
Wings HC
Raising a child
Vegan darling HC
Dealing with s/os teacher who doesnt treat them right
Raising a teenage child
Darling who has separation anxiety
Soft S/o whos tall and buff
Feral Headcannons
Shy, Awkward reader
Bat quirk S/o
Miruko & Hawks x reader Headcannons
Preening S/os wings
S/o who has self harm scars on their legs TW
S/os scared of birds
Hero s/o hates the hero commissions
S/o has a affectionate pet bird thats a little shit to keigo
Foreigner that hardly speaks japanese
Shy S/o thats scared of his wings
S/os cat loves hunting/playing with his wings
Yandere alphabet K,P,T
Yandere alphabet A,D,E,L 
Hunted down
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Overhaul
S/o who has a body pillow of him
Trying to get him on a normal date
Angel
S/o whose power ultimately harms them
Darling ends up pregnant because of him
raising a child
S/o is as much of a clean freak as he is
Yandere Alphabet: A,B,I,K,W
Calling him a crow because of his looks
Escaping with Eri
S/o is a escape artist
Naga Overhaul
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Kaminari
S/o scared theyll get zapped if they touch him
S/o who loves affection but is shy about PDA
Using him as a shield against socializing with others
Finding out S/o is Kirishimas sibling
S/o who isnt given gifts often
Werewolf
HC
Yandere Alphabet: A,B,J,W
S/o who loves him just as much
Would denki hurt anyone or punish his S/o
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Sero
Darling confessing their love to him
Yandere Alphabet: A,K,S,R,T
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Tokoyami
Finding out S/o goes out to feed cats with Aizawa and Shinsou
S/o going out of their way to spend time with them
Cuddling HC
Crush is Bakugos sister
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Iida
Finding out S/o wonders out at night
Jealous HC
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Koda
S/o who also has a animal quirk
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Miruko
Chubby S/o
Miruko & Hawks x reader Headcannons
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Nejire
Headcannons
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Jirou
Headcannons
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Mina Ashido
Headcannons
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Inko Midoriya
Headcannons
Introducing deku to their new sibling w/ s/o
Average day with her
Haunted house
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Rei Todoroki
Headcannons
Soft and quiet darling
Introducing her new child w/ s/o
Calm S/o yelling for the first time
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Aoyama
Protective S/o
S/o likes his french
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Deku
NS FW alphabet
Submissive 
Naga Izuku 
Praise Kink & Sugar Mommy S/o
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Aizawa
NS FW HC
Werewolf Aizawa + Breeding 
Feral 
Incubus 
Neko s/o going into heat Ropework 
Favorite Position & Breeding kink 
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Poly Erasermic
Poly Incubus EraserMic w/ S/o 
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Todoroki
NS FW alphabet
Orgasm control, BDSM
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Dabi
NON-CON + Incubus Dabi TW
End of the world + Breeding 
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Poly Dabi/hawks
Poly Incubus Dabi/Hawks w/ S/o 
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Shiguraki
Favorite Position 
Praise/Body Worship 
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Tamaki
Sugar Daddy & One thing that would instantly turn them on
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Hawks
Cockwarming and creampieing 
S/o likes it rough slightly 
Breeding/Heat HC 
Using his Feathers as a form of bondage 
Breeding season 
Extra Heat HC 
Male S/o First Time & Corruption
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Overhaul
Virgin S/o 
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Kaminari
Using his quirk during sex 
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Inko Midoriya
Lingerie & Bodyworship 
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Rei Todoroki
Foreplay Headcannons 
1K notes · View notes
lw6-woso · 10 months
Text
Struggles (Barca Femeni x reader)
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(gif is not mine)
Y/N L/N.
everyone knows your name.
the unstoppable 18 year old striker for both barcelona and England who was able to make young girls believe they can achieve anything at a young age. from winning the euros in 2022 including winning the young player of the tournament and the golden boot with scoring in every game you played in with England. and even more unbelievable when playing for Barcelona.
everyone knew and loved you it was hard not to, however you was a very private individual nobody anything about you really not even your team mates new much about her even though you have been playing along side them since the age of 16.
you had your little perks about yourself that make people think with how you played, your reactions to certain things and finally your habits of getting destracted when doing media fidgeting with your hair or fingers. they easily picked up on if people really anaysed your behaviour and the more that they looked and observe it all came together like a little puzzle piece,
you struggled massively deep down and the barca girls finally figured it out.
it was a normal day for the barca squad with it being a match day the only thing was that they were laying Real Madrid the teams rival everyone knew that whether you are in the academy, womens or men's team real madris were the biggest rivals. the team had made it to camp nou and they were sat in the changing rooms dancing and singing to music except one person you.
she was sat in her cub that was next to Alexias looking at the floor zoned out completely, the only people who noticed was Jenni and Alexia. they looked at each other from across the room confused, you never acted this way except when you had become ill with the flu but that had happened once you never get sick like EVER.
Alexia took it upon her self to drag you by the hand out of the changing room and into a deserted physio room that hadn't been used in year and was now a storage room. she moved you so you were sat on a seat and she asked
"hey are you okay you dont seem yourself"
"yeah i mean i havent been sleeping much must be coming down with something" i said quietly, after you had said that Jenni had walked in slamming the door louder than she had expected to making you jump out of your skin.
"hey chica"she said sitting next to me.
"im fine you guys dont have to worry" i said.
"no we are not doing this not today so your going to tell us what is wrong or ill bench you" Alexia said sternly.
Ale and jenni where your team mums ever since you arrive in barca they took you under they wings and protected you like there own, so they new everything and that included your little secret that you were hiding from the world, the fact that you had ADHD and had a long history of battling depression.
this came with a lot of issues with not just your career and education but everything in your life especially when it gets bad, and today you had a bad day, everyone has bad days and today was a bad day.
"im having a bad day i forgot that i had ran out of my ADHD medication and i have renewed it yet and my mind wont stop i just want to sleep" you said tears coming to your eyes clearing overwhelmed.
"hey hey its okay im going to go talk to jonaton okay see do youv feel up to playing today" jenni said.
"yes and no i dont know" you said confused and annoyed and jenni nodded and left to go see jonaton.
"come on lets get changed get some water and get warmed up see how you feel you might be a super sub today" Ale said hugging you.
"Ale," you asked.
"yeah" she asked.
"i want to tell everyone" you said.
"what the girls" she asked.
"yeah and the rest of the world i think it'll be good you know to tell my story my battle," you said.
"you never fail to amaze me you know that i think it's a great idea," she said and we walked into the changing rooms.
In that game it was decided for you not to play for your own well-being and you understood, you watched from the sideline watching your idles and your family thrash Real Madrid beating them 6-0.
everyone was on a high celebrating and you decided to do it then and there.
"guys," you said and the girls instantly stopped to listen.
"I thought you all deserved to know this I wanted to share that well I don't know how to say this but I have ADHD and I have suffered from depression it likes to creep back up in my life a lot and I want your help to raise awareness and help tell stories about mental health within the game I want to tell my story," they said and they all gave me small smiles, not smiles of sympathy but smiles of proudness and inspiration.
they all clapped and hugged me having a large group hug. and this is only the start of the long way to sharing everyone's stories within the wonderful game of football and the dark side that comes with it.
*3 months later*
i was sitting in a studio on my own cameras recording ready to tell me story one story out of the many stories that were going to be said, i had reached out to many big names in the footballing community and they were happy and ready to tell their story and help.
"Hi, I am Y/N and this is my story," you said.
"hi I am Alexia Putellas and this is my story"
"hi I am Leah Williamson and this is my story"
"hi im Viviane Miedema and this is my story"
"hi im Alex morgan and this is my story"
"hi my name is Ellen White and this is my story"
"hello im mason mount and this is my story"
"I'm Ian Wright and this is my story"
"everyone in the entire world has a voice no matter who you are or how you are struggling never be afraid to reach out you are not alone you will never be alone reach out, help others, and get help for yourself. your story matters just like all of ours we are no different from you everyone struggles some different from others you all have your story and that story and how you overcame your dark times could save someone else," you said.
the camera turned off and the screen turned black.
A/N-this was my first fic so please feedback would be appreciated the good and the bad :)
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okay im sorry but just imagine being kageyama tobio. your parents are always working late, your sister quit volleyball years ago and now she's off being an adult and having a career, none of your teammates get why you care so much and the only guy who did, because he cared the same amount in the same way, graduated 2 years ago and also hated your guts. your peers have given you a cruel nickname just so they can reinforce how little they like or understand you, you dont have any friends, you have nothing but volleyball actually, your grandfather is dead and you are clinging to the promise he made you when you were a little kid because if you dont you might just go insane. you are so, so incredibly lonely.
and then, THEN, this scrawny 5 foot nothing kid stares you down outside the gymnasium bathrooms and promises to beat you, and he totally sucks at volleyball. like, he. is. terrible. but he can run, and he has good reflexes, he jumps so high he looks like he's flying, and most importantly he runs headfirst into a wall and then says 'we haven't lost yet' like its the most obvious thing in the world when his teammates ask him why he bothered. and you realise this kid is just like you, the same kind of fucked in the head you are. and youre furious, what the hell has this guy been doing for the past 3 years? your grandfather promised you that someone even better would come and find you are here he is, but you beat his team in less than an hour and you're pretty sure you'll never see him again, despite him promising to take you down, because never once in your life has anyone who was supposed to stick around actually do that. you're angry because you didn't have to be so painfully lonely all these years, you could've had someone who kept up with you, but he just wasn't there, because he sucks and you don't but he doesn't have to and that makes it so much worse than you just being a freak who was completely one of a kind.
and then you go back to your team, back to your last middle school tournament, and you play more games. only this time youre pissed. you know that there's someone else like you now, someone who will. not. stop until the ball has hit the floor and you don't get why your teammates won't just be better, try harder, move faster. and then they abandon you too. you thought you were alone before, but now you have absolutely nothing, not even volleyball. and you didn't get into the school your grandfather went to, and the coach you picked your back-up school for is in the hospital, and your plan for the next 3 years is to essentially bide your time until you get scouted into the v-league because you literally do not have anything left and you are doing everything your 15 years old and incredibly depressed self can because you refuse to let go of volleyball, no matter how lonely it makes you, no matter how much it hurts to cling on.
and then, AND THEN. that same scrawny dumbass from that 2-0 match in middle school is there and he still sucks and he's still the same kind of fucked in the head that you are and you won't give him one of your 'royal sets', not after what happened last time, you can't stop being lonely but you can at least try to not get abandoned again. and he says 'forget all that, i'll be here no matter what', and he spikes the damn set. he shuts his freaking eyes and he trusts you and you have just had the rug pulled out from underneath your damn feet because you understand, maybe better than anyone else, being ready to do whatever it takes to win but who the hell just fully puts their faith in someone else like that and maybe, just maybe, this kid was serious when he swore he'd get better and take you down.
he's invincible as long as youre there and so are you as long as you have him. you ask him if he's prepared to go all the way to the world stage to take you on, because you've never set your sights anywhere else, and he tells you he'll match you every step of the way. he picks up your crown, puts it right back on your head and proves to you that he refuses to leave you just like everyone else did, even at your worst. you tossed and he spiked and he said 'i'm here' and he is.
he is, and he never stops being here for you, chasing after you, making you chase after him, even when he's on the other damn side of the planet. and then 6 whole years after you first met him, first played him, first thought that maybe your grandfather would keep his promise to you, you get to play him again and you realise that he is your someone even better, always has been. actually, they all are. and you're not that lonely tyrant you used to be anymore, youre not that sad, abandoned kid hiding behind anger and obsession, you're doing the thing you love surrounded by people who love it in the same fucked in the head way that he and you do, and the man you love is there across the net from you, playing against you, and he's also there on the court next to you, playing with you, and either way he is here.
you got really, really good at volleyball, and somebody even better came and found you.
he's here.
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hunterbunter3000 · 1 year
Note
I think it's also about the way sweetheart touches them. She's gentle with them, which is something rare for absolutely all of them. Sweetheart doesn't assume because they're in the military that they don't need kindness and support and delicate hands. She knows they already think that they don't deserve anything like that so when she sees them wanting it and craving it, she is so willing to give. Her love cup is so full for her team and the people she cares for.
She handles ghost like he's still just Simon Riley, a sad kid deep down. Sweetheart offers up affection that she can just feel is so foreign to him. Yes he can take care of himself but everybody knows it doesn't extend beyond the basics and she takes time to try to heal his aches and pains that he's gotten so used to living with
She's delicate with price, knowing how hard he's worked to keep the team alive and well. How most of the time, he gets no recognition for his efforts. Sure, she teases him and calls him an old man when he complains about his back but in the same breath is offering a massage to get the ever present knot out
She's attentive with soap, hating how he looks like a sad puppy when people try to brush him off as a loud and brash grown up child. She wants him to hold on to that because she knows if it goes away, he'll seem like a shell of himself. She's seen what too long in the field can do to someone like johnny and how it can change them for the worst so she always encourages his jokes and such.
She helps gaz as much as she can. She sees how he pushes himself and how it sometimes ends up in neglect of himself. How many meals has he missed due to trying to just get one more thing done? How many hours of sleep has he skipped to try to figure something out? With a firm hand, she always guides him into taking care of himself and to give himself a much needed break.
IM RAMBLING IM SORRY
AAA NOOO DONT BE SORRY- DONT EVER BE SORRY FOR RAMBLING THIS IS AMAZING 💖✨️✨️💕
(I'm terribly sorry this took so long- BUT GARRICK'S IS PRETTY LONG SO ITS A WIN WIN-)
But holy cow I agree with this so much
Tw: mentions of depression, insecurities, trust issues
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I'm really gonna start with Soap because what you said is her biggest fear. She cares deeply for Mactavish and always pays a little bit more attention to him than the others because of that terror.
It would be a nightmare if she didn't see the life in his eyes anymore. Her heart was already broken when her second uncle came back a zombie from being in the army. Didn't talk to anyone, and if he did he would always snap at them. He loved his family still. He really did. But the happiness, and the compassion was gone. He couldn't let go of the guilt, of the regret he had in his choices. He didn't really talk about it, but when he did Sweetheart could see the black tar oozing out of his mouth. All the internal pain and suffering. She doesn't want to see Soap be like that, since their personalities are quite similar. Fun, chipper, determined and kind. She will protect his internal being with everything she has, just like she did with her uncle. So she will always laugh at his jokes and add on to them, making them both double over. She will always stand up for him when someone calls him loud and brash. Telling him it's okay to express yourself how you want to.
If she fails, if she even sees the shine leave his eyes for a second, she knows she failed her uncle again and will never be the same.
--
Now with Ghost-- GOOAAHHHHDDDD he needs all the hugs and cheek kisses he can get (and really just hugs) he doesn't like to be touched unless he knows you knows you (kinda like König and Roach) it took Sweetheart a WHILEE to get close to Ghost. Yes, he did have a small soft spot for her, but he would NOT let her touch him. It took like five months just to let her touch his shoulder. Because of his insane trust issues and paranoia, he didn't let her get close. He couldn't. He couldn't risk getting hurt from Sweetheart. Kind, charming, thoughtful, Sweetheart. Caring, strong, smart, Sweetheart. He craved for her touch so badly that he knew it was what he needed, but he couldn't handle the pain afterward. But there was no pain when she first hugged him when he came out of that explosion alive. There was no pain when she held his hand through his panic attack. There was just warmth. And love. Through every touch she gave him, it spoke of love and care. She gave him time. She gave him so much patience so he could trust her. So he could love her. And he does.
Price-- that man deserves a hundred medals I swear. As you said, he gets no recognition of his effort from anyone, because that's what he's supposed to do. He's supposed to get everyone out alive, he's supposed to succeed everytime. It's just built in the job with that expectation. But Sweetheart knows in order to keep that kind of task going, he needs support. And my god, does she give it to him. Always patting him on the back and saying good job. Checking for any injuries, and if there are, she would fix them. Listening to anything he's talking about and giving her opinions on it. Giving him some tea and something to eat if he's up late. And just giving him any form of affirmation. He deserves it. He deserves all the support, the back rubs, the massages and the teasing, the tea and the naps, all of it. And Price is so grateful for it. If she wasn't there for him, no one would be.
Kyle. Gaz. Garrick. Goodness, that boy has put so many expectations on himself that NO ONE ELSE has put on him. It's weighing him down. Since he's the youngest and has less experience than everyone else, he thinks that he has to catch up to everyone else or be better than them in order for people to see him. See him being one of the members of Task Force 141. The best of the best, right? Like Sweetheart? How she carries herself through chaos, how she handles dire situations, how well she works with others, how physically, mentally, and emotionally strong she is? Can he be skilled like Sweetheart? Calm and collected like Ghost? Well-armed like Soap? He doesn't know. His insecurities are always getting the best of him, making him forget to brush his teeth. Or eat breakfast. Or even get out of bed. Is he even fit to be on this team? Sweetheart knocks on his door. Is he even worthy? She knocks again. He has so much to catch up on. She opens his door. How will he catch up to them? She sighs, walking towards his curled up figure on his bed. He's in their shadow. Maybe he should leave. Sweetheart comes into his view, shocking him. She has a slight concerning face, but more anger than anything. Angry that he hasn't been taking care of himself. Concerned on why he hasn't been taking care of himself. She grabs his hand and brings it to her lips, closing her eyes. His entire body feels warm. Awake. She breathes in and opens her eyes back up. She urges him to get up. Get up and take a shower. His brain says no, but his body is moving subconsciously. She waits outside the Men's Bath Unit until he's done. She waits for him, quite closely, when he's brushing his teeth; Sweetheart tells him not to forget to brush his molars. She waits for him when he dresses himself in clean clothes, still in the same room as him, just turned. She waits for him to finish eating a big breakfast, which he eats fully. All with silence. All with a neutral face. Yet her actions are firm. Caring. Helpful. She sits him down on his now cleaned bed, the help of Sweetheart, and they just... talk. Talk about what's been going on, talk about why he feels this way, and when. It helps. She's giving her opinions on what he can do to be better, but it's up to him to take them. She sighs, eyes studying him. 'I hope I'm not crossing any boundaries with you. But I couldn't sit aside and let you make yourself disappear. Especially when you're valued as a teammate and a friend.' She says. Gaz feels like crying. And he does. He hugs so tightly. Tight enough that she could feel his appreciation through his touch. He's thankful that she saw him. And she continues to see him.
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