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#earlier than i usually discuss but interesting nonetheless
basil-bird · 10 months
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jurassic park makes me cry all the time.
specifically when alan and ellie see the brachiosauruses for the first time. all alan is able to say is "they do move in herds."
just the idea of an academic spending his entire life on something that he loves so much, trying to understand it and ultimately never being able to do so fully because the answers have been lost to time, having theory turn into fact in front of his eyes in the most spectacular and beautiful way imaginable. he gets an answer on something that seems so insignificant and unprovable but that he would have been wondering forever, because there really is no way to absolutely confirm whether or not brachiosaurus moved in herds or not, and god what he wouldn't give to be able to jump in a time machine and see for himself.
the thought of the time machine coming to you to show you the answer, that is an emotion i simply cannot describe but that is so visceral to academics studying pre/ancient history. no matter how hard we look or how much we study, we'll never know for sure if our theories are correct. i can only ever imagine what it would feel like to know absolutely and unequivocably one way or another.
so seeing the dream of any student of history unfold on screen with john williams' damn music playing in the background? i absolutely tear up every time.
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dayanara-15 · 10 days
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The Sound of Music
By: Dayanara Ramos
The iconic movie "The Sound of Music" highlights the era in which the film was released in 1965 in an impressive way. As an audience member, I really liked the moving story and, the film's music and the film, the timeless themes of the film, which helped me develop my art perception, courage, belief in my powers, and belief in kindness and love. As one goes into the historical evidence relating to the film, it is seen that the film "The Sound of Music" served as a distraction that diverted the minds and provided relief to the audience, who were desperate for a lens of clarity that could distract them from the confusion of the times, when modern history was in the raging transition period with the ongoing civil rights movement and the Vietnam War
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The song "Climb Ev'ry Mountain," which has the lyrics "Climb ev'ry mountain, ford ev'ry stream, follow ev'ry rainbow, till you find your dream,” has also had an influence on the audience. This song has similarities to the spirit of the 1960s, that gave a ray of hope to the people. (Mandal, 2021) In the film, this song, along with other songs, declared the "war on cancer" and delivered a message of hope and inspiration to audiences that have gone through personal and societal problems. (Surh, 2021) 
the audio-visual evidence also includes the commercial and critical acclaim the box office made to audiences. The Sound of Music was not only intended to be a money-generating film, but it also arose to be a critical success and winner of many different awards that people liked. With a heart-melting plot, outstanding acting, and an unbeatable melody, it managed the job so well that its extensive appeal and unflagging popularity remain at the top. The makers of the movie made sure that the way they presented it was done in a manner that attracted a larger audience. Further, the marketing tools have spotlighted the magical way the film's romantic storyline is portrayed, the fantastic views, and the phenomenal music in the movie. They have captured the audience's interest regardless of age and social origin. Moreover, Julie Andrews was already recognized as a powerhouse from her earlier stint in "Mary Poppins," bringing a strong cast for this outstanding movie. Moving on, the aim of the film was to become profitable for which the producers had to depend on various elements like the theatricalization of a Broadway musical, the interlinking of tracks that were famous among audience, the use of exemplary visuals, and selecting famous and strong actors. By providing a combination of all these elements, the team was successful in impressing its audience that made the movie profitable. However, it lacked significant constraining factors concerning the film's plot or genre, but it discussed the values and problems of that era. Through the screen, the audience experienced the portrayal of love, resilience, and gathering courage to fight for the cause. The movie had that message for those going through their personal challenges and needing fresh hope and unity. (Shankar, 2021) If we compare the dramatic valuation of the film, then we can see how it has changed over time. However, the film's opening screenings received mixed reviews. Some people thought the film was too emotional, while some opined that it did not show the historical truth. Nonetheless, since the twenty central assessments remind us of its cultural influence, popularity, and addition to the musical genre, recent reviews usually appear more positive than before, and they pay attention to the film's eternal attractiveness and the themes that are shared in all time. At the same time, "The Sound of Music" can be considered standard in its cinematic style because it is a normal storytelling of events in chronological order. Through its long history and persistence, its dynamism and current relevance have proven that it can be so unique and touching to anyone in any era. (Purdum, 2005) Furthermore, looking back on the first time I watched the film, I have noticed some new delicate aspects of the storyline and characters that I might have easily missed. The theme of the movie is perseverance, love, and optimism. It feels even more authentic and relevant as this message works for all generations where it stands up for timelessness and when impact lasts forever. The Film is still a timeless piece that tells us about rejoicing for the success of the spirit and, at the same time, the ability of music to enrich people's lives and brighten their days. Its ability to transfer generations and thus bear testimony to its status as an evergreen classic that arrests feelings and brings happiness to viewers around the world is what describes it. 
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love-and-other-trials · 4 months
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Trial no.1
Tonight I had the first date that was a part of my experiment or whatever this is. I’m still trying to work all of that out, I’m still wondering what my goal is in all this or even what all of this even is. But that can be a discussion for another time. 
The date itself was fine, he took me to my favorite taco place, we got margaritas and ate and he paid of course. It was average. Nothing really extraordinary there, no sparks flying, it was just alright. He did make good conversation, he’s handsome, strong arms and a good build. Let's call him… Tyler. 
However as normal as the date was there were a few things that rubbed me the wrong way. Some of the behaviors reminded me vaguely of my bad ex boyfriend. He’s a blue collar man, which there's nothing wrong with that but I do like someone a bit more aspirational these days. And also he had a sizable bag of cocaine in his car. 
What topped it off for me though was the comments he made on the fact he found my ethnicity “sexy”. I am a hispanic woman, granted a fairly white passing hispanic woman but I’m not american nonetheless. He was a white guy and of course I was once again reminded that “latina” is a porn category. 
Other than these glaring red flags, I guess the date was fine, we smoked a cigarette together on the ride back to my place and he kissed me goodbye. 
For a short while here I didn’t think about him. My previously mentioned situationship  ( I know I hate that word too but I really have no other title for our involvement.) I guess he is my current top love interest, even though I told my friend just earlier tonight that I was over him, and was fine just continuing as a fling, it was casual, no strings attached. 
A part of me does believe that is true, I am now on my journey to being one year single under the accountability of this page and I do love a part of my single life. I love doing my own thing and  kissing strangers in bars. I love the independence and only spending my money on myself.  
But also it is fucking dreadful. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how good of a night I have had out partying, I will still come home to lay in bed alone, which is when I want to be held most. 
I was ready to drop this whole act for him. I was ready to once again commit myself to someone, I wanted to be his so badly and I wanted to call him mine even more. Just yesterday, I stumbled upon his stupid face on a dating app and it made me want to throw up. I logged off after that. 
I also can’t help but to think that maybe this is just another one of my infatuations. Right now he is all I want but maybe in another month or two I’ll be over it. 
Anyways, I asked him to hang out this week. Maybe I just want to be a bit stupid sometimes. 
But tomorrow night is friday, kicking off the last weekend of my winter break. Tomorrow I’ll be out dancing with my friends partaking in my usual routine of five tequila pineapples. Four is not always enough, six is almost always too much. Five is usually always just right. The dance floor is sometimes the only place I feel okay, and right now it is certainly a need. 
Love, 
Bug <3
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The 17 Most Misunderstood Facts About 토토사이트
It's All With regard to the Games
When it comes to on line casinos, I come to Perform and I Engage in to acquire. But Before everything, I come to Engage in. Meaning that you are not going to stay all-around enjoying a video game You do not take pleasure in. Even though you Engage in a game common to all casinos like poker, If your interface is weak you will be all but guaranteed to make a speedy "exit."
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Also realize that each computer software supplier has their own personal design and style. Rival, as I discussed earlier mentioned, has stellar game titles, but has a tendency to cater to your youthful crowd of online casino players. They concentration more on graphics and game titles that attract "video players" much more than any individual else. The place as Cryptologic provides a knack for getting typical online games and creating them contemporary and remarkable again.
Banking Attributes
Obviously men and women when participating in on-line, one particular wishes to make certain that they will be able to access their dollars as immediately and conveniently as feasible. Most on the internet casinos provide very simple depositing processes whereby you deposit money into an account to be used inside that specific online casino. Nonetheless, not each individual On line casino operates the exact same way. RTG and Playtech incorporate their own individual program ways to take care of revenue although Cryptologic takes advantage of "Ecash."
Try to find Peer Evaluations
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Watch out for Sign Up Bonuses
Sign on bonuses so far as I am anxious are classified as the candy that a shady stranger employs to entice a kid right into a van. They say almost nothing for the online casino's match-Enjoy or customer support. I shall use Yet another simile. They're 안전놀이터 like an advert incentive from the motor vehicle dealership put on the market to draw suckers to the clutches of salesman. Bottom line, there is certainly usually a capture. In the above eventualities you both get kidnapped or have the outdated "switcharoo" pulled on you and find yourself paying way over you wished for the car or truck.
Online casinos aren't any different. Generally the sign on reward will supply some exorbitant amount of free income. That is what it says over the surface area. But what they do not tell you is the fact that If you need that money to pay back, you will have to pay out an all the more exorbitant quantity in wagers right up until you meet your minimum that permits you to cash out...In case you have any winnings that is.
Are you presently a Mac or maybe a PC?
Even though each and every online On line casino is Personal computer helpful, the same can't be stated for Macintosh computer systems. Even so, on the net On line casino bosses are not blind and several have created platforms which have been appropriate with equally Computer system along with the mounting range of Mac buyers. So if you are over a Mac, your alternative is reasonably confined. In case you are on the PC, the online On line casino environment is your oyster.
ECOGRA Licensed Casinos
There are a number of 3rd-party on the web On line casino watchdogs to choose from, all of them monitoring the casinos to view that they're enjoying reasonable. The most dependable of all of them is eCogra (brief for eCommerce On-line Gaming Regulation and Assurance). There is not any way to make certain that any on the net On line casino is absolutely reasonable 100% of enough time. Nonetheless, viewing that a On line casino is Qualified by eCogra is The easiest method to realize that Participate in is as truthful as it can be.
There are other names available, but none as universally reliable as eCogra. While some might unquestionably do their task and also if not better than eCogra, their reputation is definitely strongest. In principle, anybody could begin a watchdog company and make a seal. By heading with the eCogra certified On line casino, you are aware of that they stake their reputation on The point that your gaming encounter will probably be a fair a single.
Know the Law
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Despite the fact that it should not be, on line gambling is essentially prohibited in several spots, The usa incorporated. In All those spots exactly where it is lawful, it is highly controlled. As a result, no matter if on-line gambling is legal in your neighborhood or not, it is crucial to know the legislation before you start paying. An internet On line casino letting you access would not automatically mean that their services are legal in which you are. It is tough for governments to regulate the online world and sometimes the player may be the a single in danger. In the event your resources are seized, the On line casino has their revenue already since it is authorized for many casinos to accept deposits. So before making a deposit, check into on the web gambling legal guidelines specific to where you reside for a hassle-free of charge gaming practical experience.
Exactly what is On-line On line casino Game titles?
On-line casinos, generally known as Digital casino or World wide web casino are an online Model of conventional casinos. Casinos you visit, to Perform black jack or cleanly slot devices. On the web casinos allow gamblers/gamers to Perform and gamble on On line casino online games by the world wide web.
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With on the web On line casino, you can have a great time every one of the games you desire, from Baccarat to Poker.
Baccarat
Baccarat activity is performed with playing cards; it's an internet On line casino gambling video game that was initially released into France casino royal from Italy over the sovereignty of Charles VIII of France. You will discover 3 solutions of the sport: baccarat chem in de fer (railway), baccarat banque (or possibly a deux tableaux), and punto banco (or North American baccarat). Baccarat is a straightforward video game with only three benefits, player, banker and tie. These are typically just choices on which the gambler can bet.
Blackjack
Blackjack is the most very well-appreciated On line casino card video game in the On line casino net planet. It can be as well-known as 20-one (vingt-et-un) or Pontoon, originated from French casinos from the 1700s. The recognition of blackjack is principally known to the card counting (keeping monitor of which playing cards are already performed Because the past shuffle). Blackjack hands are attained by their point full. The hand with the best total wins provided that it does not transcend 21 (vingt-et-un).
Roulette
Roulette is a On line casino and gambling activity and comes from a French title sense "modest wheel" that's correctly what Roulette is. It was invented from the 17th century by a gentleman identify Blaise Pascal. To really make it extra pleasing to gamblers, two other Frenchmen François and Louis Blanc additional the "0" for the roulette in classify to boost the chances. Down the road while in the 1800s, roulette was brought into The usa the place a 2nd "0" was added "00" to increase the odds far more. A player can gamble on figures, mixture, ranges, odds/evens, and colors in Digital On line casino. The croupier turns the wheel that has 37 or 38 singly numbered sections during which the very little ball ought to land for free On line casino game titles. The most crucial sections are from 1 to 36 and each other sections is crimson and black, with number one remaining red. There is certainly also a eco-friendly compartment numbered 0. In the majority of roulette wheels in the United States although not in Europe, there is a 2nd 0 compartment marked 00, also coloured eco-friendly. If a participant bets on a single range and wins, The prices is 35 to one. The gamble itself is revisited, so in full it really is multiplied by 36. You'll be able to play the roulette on on the web casino Royal and should have the correct similar outcomes as when you ended up in a true Vegas casino.
Slot Equipment
Slot machines are probably the most popular method of on the web On line casino Web and you'll find a lot of of these on Each and every on-line On line casino website you are going to. On-line casino slot devices are coin managed with 3 or more reels, which spins when the person triggers the deal with within the facet on the equipment. In the slot equipment is a currency detector that validates The cash inserted through the player. The device will only pay back if the symbols will match, by way of example 3 hats or 3 greenback signs. Occasionally, the player can win with only two parallel symbols. It is identical with on line virtual casino slot machine the player will pay with a bank card a definite amount of cash and click over the icon to Participate in. As a consequence of modern Laptop or computer technology, you'll find now many versions with the slot equipment principle and it signifies about 70% of the normal On line casino's cash flow.
There are numerous on the internet On line casino Web Internet websites now offered, that the participant/gambler could have no challenge deciding on what he hopes to Enjoy. You are able to surf on unique on line On line casino Web sites to carry out on the net gambling and find out which one you like greatest and accommodate your needs, whatever you will discover your gambling pleasure.
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drgreg · 1 year
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Dr Gregory Images
Markus says they tested 18 hyena and had constructive results within quarter-hour. They tested the animals' blood stress, arterial blood gas and picked up important signs data earlier than the animals had been reversed. The combination has been used successfully to immobilise wild canine, cheetah and lion.
“In 1998, he joined the Army Reserve and have become a part-time rifleman. In November 2002, Greg was amongst a rifle firm of military reservists deployed to East Timor to deal with the deteriorating humanitarian and safety state of affairs in the region. On his return to Australia, Greg efficiently certified as a member of the Special Forces. “After leaving faculty, Greg worked for his father in the finance enterprise, and at 19, he joined the Community Security Group, knowledgeable security team that oversees the protection of Jewish schools, synagogues, and particular Jewish events.
Any free metallic object has the danger of causing injury or harm if it gets pulled toward the robust magnet. If this retains you from mendacity nonetheless, you may be given a drugs that can help you relax. Some MRI machines at the moment are made so that the magnet doesn't enclose your whole physique. Open MRI machines could additionally dr gregory images be helpful if you are claustrophobic, but they do not seem to be obtainable in all places. The footage from an open MRI will not be nearly as good as these from a regular MRI machine. During the check, you usually lie in your back on a table that is a part of the MRI scanner.
After completing internship and community service at Pretoria Academic Hospital and WK Knobel hospitals respectively as all of us as a spell as a general practitioner, he came to UCT for his Dermatology coaching. In addition, most of the specialists have developed their very own areas of interest and experience. That implies that patients are referred to the physician with probably the most appropriate expertise. After training for five months on the Yuri Gagarin Cosmonaut Training Center in Moscow, he launched on a Russian Soyuz rocket TMA-7 on October 1, 2005 with Cosmonaut Valeri Tokarev and Astronaut Bill McArthur .
Over 10 million customers come to us every month for the news.We have not put it behind a paywall because the reality shouldn't be a luxury. Instead we ask our readers who can afford to contribute, even a small quantity each month, to do so. If it is, you'll get R200 a month in Uber vouchers straight back and a host of other benefits.
I am hoping that we will get to R10,000 before the supply expires mid November. Is the question of whether there's a better method to calibrate and align donor spending to the international locations which are performing better by means of the statement of democratic and human rights, mentioned Mills. Looks at worldwide examples of successful expenditure in countries corresponding to Colombia. To make clear some of the issues discussed in his guide, Mills was joined by Ugandan opposition chief Bobi Wine and Movement for Democratic Change vice-president and former Zimbabwean finance minister Tendai Biti.
He completed BLS and BAA coaching, and is receiving coaching as a Hyperbaric Chamber Operator. He takes care of all of our patients' administrative challenges. Dr. Rannakoe Lehloenya, commonly referred to as ‘Ranks” is a registered Dermatologist. He graduated from National University of Lesotho with a BSc in 1989 and from MBChB from Medunsa in 1997.
This article is licensed underneath a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. I agree that unscrupulous firms are making low stress flexible luggage as a means of extorting money from patients who do not perceive that 1.5 ATA with 100 percent Oxygen is the absolute minimum for medical efficacy, . Former chiropractor Malcolm Hooper, who owned the hyperbaric therapy clinic Oxymed Australia, is to face trial for unsafe apply following the demise of a former client who was undergoing remedy for multiple sclerosis at Hooper’s facility. The company SpecialKids advertises delicate hyperbaric therapy by way of O2xygenate for off-label circumstances in kids. But practitioners of so-called gentle hyperbaric oxygen therapy are fraudulently cashing in on the science that helps medically-approved HBOT.
The project was carried out with the knowledge of the Medical Control Council. According to Markus, numerous drug mixtures have been used to immobilise hyena prior to now of which all have their very own drawbacks, similar to stormy induction and lengthy restoration occasions. You could republish this text, as long as you credit the authors and GroundUp, and do not change the text. Treatment is run in a particular chamber where patients inhale 100% % medical oxygen at high pressure - twice the common atmospheric pressure exerted at sea degree. This increases the amount of oxygen within the blood, which “has direct and indirect therapeutic medical effects which promote the therapeutic process,” says Roberts. But this applies solely to the situations for which it is indicated.
One-off courses are 4 days lengthy and will include technical and different specialist areas of drawing and painting. After the workshop, ongoing feedback and critical response is performed via a closed FB web page dr gregory images and college students from all centres are able to take part in the collective expertise. The next workshop consolidates and the post-workshop correspondence is meant to ensure a finished product from everybody.
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matchdinghy36 · 2 years
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Replica Fragrance For Woman Much Like Coco Mademoiselle From Chanel
The handbag measures 15.6 x 9.8 x three.9 inches, making it a large bag that will suffice purchasing wants for nearly all of consumers. The Luxury Crossbody Tote Bag will go well with any event, as it's thoughtfully designed to look beautiful and be functional at the same time. A reminder that these baggage usually are not unlawful, they're look-alikes that use Chanel’s design language. However, should you nonetheless have doubts about the authenticity of your bag, be happy to contact us! We might be joyful to help you with our skilled Chanel authentication service. While on the topic of inner details, let’s discuss the Chanel brand print. Look intently on the next real vs faux Chanel 2.55 bag comparability. chanel backpack replica Finally, in fact, ensure that your turnlock works easily and is not crooked or erratically shaped. At extremely attractive provides and reductions, buy as many as you want with out worrying about exceeding your finances. Chanel bags suppliers and wholesalers can also grab the items that finest meet their preferences at amazing provides. Designed based mostly on Chanel's aesthetic code, this easy and understated motion is ADLC-coated bridge and plate, giving it a black glow and robust sturdiness. At the same time, it blends in with a beige gold case for an ideal harmony. Chanel's bold move to introduce a brand new skeleton movement to women's watches rather than males's watches suggests that women's demand for mechanical watches is growing. The bag has a double flap , and a purple leather inside. wikipedia handbags There is a sewn CC logo on the interior of the second flap, and proper beneath it you will find a stamp in silver of the Chanel logo as nicely as the production nation. As with any replica, when you look to the details and discover excessive levels of accuracy, you shall be able to gage how good of a replica bag you could have in your arms. Ultimately, it is a good replica Chanel bag. As mentioned earlier, I paid via PayPal and this really helped considering I couldn’t pay through Western Union. The Luxury Designer Crossbody Bags are quilted crossbody baggage that feature lengthy thick chain straps so you'll be able to grasp them round your shoulder. The design is considered one of my private favorites, and the quilted leather-based surface feels soft and premium to the touch. This Luxury Crossbody Tote Bag replicates considered one of Chanel’s most iconic shopping bag types. This purse from Women Luxury Designers Bags Store options one hundred pc actual sheepskin leather and is out there in black identical to the unique. Sovereign-style chunky rings with the Chanel brand as an emblem are one of many fashion house's most iconic jewelry styles. At about $40, this Jules Smith 14 karat gold-plated version from Nordstrom permits a faceted sparkler take center stage, and is great as an on an everyday basis jewellery piece. The type is directly simple but putting and it is out there in ring sizes 5 via eight. Chanel bags are available many alternative sizes and shapes. They vary from extremely tiny objects meant for decorative purposes to bigger ones with a quantity of partitions and pockets for people who want to carry many objects. Faux Chanel bag sellers like those we suggest above, be assured you can get your money’s worth. They only cater to the most effective mirror replica bags that even high-end designers have trouble recognizing. Fashion isn’t about having the most costly outfit; it’s about having a press release that makes you feel snug, highly effective, and assured. Based in Shanghai, designer_1_handbag solely has deluxe replica baggage. With a plethora of designer wallets, backpack, bags, and extra. They have amassed a gradual following of supporters with hundreds of transaction historical past and 96.5% overall optimistic ranking rating. I by no means thought I could be interested in a Chanel flap, however I simply LOVED the look of this one online. The Tweed Crossbody Flap Bag is priced at $71.eleven, but you can get it for cheaper should you order multiple models. It might be a stunning gift for any of the wonderful girls in your life. It is easily top-of-the-line Chanel bag dupes out there. It is a high-quality purse that you could put on with confidence no matter what the event is. I received my bag within 5 days of cost and I even have never been happier with any purchase. Well, as a working mom, i do have properties valued @millions fully paid off,as Anna was saying, however nonetheless eyeing overly costly Chanel. And i don’t simply purchase expensive bag to realize praise.
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basil-bird · 2 years
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Today I am thinking about
Bog Bodies!
I was watching Miniminuteman again, as I am wont to do when procrastinating research that's actually in my field, and in his video on the Windover archeological site I think he summarized perfectly why I love me some bog bodies.
"...it's really easy to look at all of these things as artifacts or as subjects. In fact, it's almost logical to do so if you are working with thousands of artifacts. It makes more sense to number them than to name them...As archaeologists, I almost think we have a little bit of a diligence to begin to separate ourselves from that. And well, yes, when doing a dig it is important to be able to remember all the stuff that you've dug up. At the end of the day, you have to always remember to put it into perspective so that when you look at this skull, you remember that you are not just looking at some inanimate object. You are looking at a person just like you and just like me. Someone's wife, someone's daughter, someone's partner, someone's lover, or someone's friend. Behind their now empty eye sockets are the remains of a brain which once held everything they ever felt and everything they ever knew -- stories that made them laugh, experiences that made them cry. You are looking at the remains of someone who once felt deeply the brightest flames of love and the deepest stabs of anger. In every way except the place they were brought up in, these people were exactly like us. By referring to them as subjects and artifacts, we remove ourselves from that very human truth. Today, their stories are all but lost to us. But it's amazing to think that at the bottom of this bog is all that remains of a civilization of people who walked the earth nine thousand years ago."
-Milo Rossi, via the Miniminuteman channel on YouTube
I mean...come on. That's good stuff right there. I cannot recommend his channel enough. Even if you don't like archeology, watching a guy use his degree to slowly devolve into madness while drinking and tearing apart conspiracy theories is always a good time.
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zodiyack · 3 years
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Niffler’s New Discovery
Requested by anon: May I request a the youngest Shelby sister x Newt Scamander story? The Shelby sister is nothing like her siblings. She’s shy, reads books like they’re oxygen, loves animals, and doesn’t drink, smoke, or anything like that. She doesn’t even swear, she’s so pure. She also loves his animals. And Tommy acts like her father but she loves her brother very much. Same as her other brothers. They find out she’s dating him and get all overprotective. Sorry if this is too specific. I just love the idea of a Shelby sister who’s nothing like her siblings. Because most of the Shelby reader fics always have them smoking and all that. Which they are fun to read, but it’s nice to see something different. Feel free to pick the Scenario. :)
Pairing: Newt Scamander x Female!Shelby!Innocent!Reader
Warnings: Swearing (not from reader ofc :)) slight suggestiveness (also not from reader), fluff, ✨m a g i c✨
Words: 1,303
Summary: (See Request...also I thought the gif was cute, so anon, I based it off the gif kinda)
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Taglist: @matth1w, @redspaceace-writes, @fandom-puff, @darling-i-read-it, @simonsbluee, @sebastianstanslefteyebrow, @marquelapage, @stuckysslag, @psychkunox​, @i-love-superhero​
Masterlist | Fantastic Beasts (AWTFT) Masterlist | Peaky Blinders Masterlist
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At first, they had no problem keeping their relationship hidden from her overly protective family, but the troublemaker Newt constantly had to chase down and return to his case was the thing that exposed them. The bloody Niffler just loved things that shined. Who could blame it though? It was it’s nature.
Just as it was the Shelby brothers nature to react the way they did. Violent, perhaps, but of their nature. Their possessive, over the top protective, shitty, big brother, nature.
And it all started, one late afternoon...
The older Shelby trio, not counting Ada with her age advance over John, returned home after a nice night out at the pub. Sure, the sun hadn’t set yet, but Pol wanted them to return home a little earlier today for a family meeting. The meeting included everyone, minus the innocent angel whom the Shelbys called their sister.
It was the perfect time to have Newt over. The perfect time to explore the secret world hidden inside his little brief case. If only they knew the pesky Niffler had been waiting.
“Are you sure they won’t suspect anything of my presence?” Newt hesitated, one foot hovering above the wooden flooring of Y/n’s bedroom, the other resting on the rooftop outside her window.
She ushered him in the rest of the way, making sure to lock her door after checking that no one was around. “Positive. Family meetings take a while, so we’re good on time. How about you? Are you sure this is good with the council?”
He had a guilt-ridden look across his face as he looked around. “There are some things the council doesn’t have to know.” A nervous laugh rumbled in his throat before he cleared it and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.
“Uh huh... Well, just promise me that you won’t get into any serious trouble for this, alright Newton?” The blushing hufflepuff gave his lover a quick nod, as well as a smile in return for the little peck she placed upon his cheek, pinkening his skin further down his neck- it was no surprise that Newt was terribly new to receiving affection from anything other than his beasts that resided in his case.
“S-shall we be going?” He broke the tension, gesturing to the case in front of them.
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“Boys.” Polly stopped the bickering that had started up between John and Tommy, her eyes drifting toward the ceiling, the trios’ following. “Your sister’s been awfully quiet.”
John cackled, “Oh no, maybe she snuck out, went to have a quick fuck with some guy off the streets, didn’t she Pol?” His rather sarcastic tone suggested his knowledge that the referenced behavior was most certainly unlike his little sister, but the immaturity of John Shelby simply couldn’t resist making a joke.
Polly, however, was in no mood for John’s incessant kidding. Her hand met the back of his head, a disapproving furrow of her brows telling him to stop talking. “I’m being serious, you idiot. It’s more quiet than usual.”
“And what about it, Pol?” Tommy spoke after taking a drag from his cigarette, an eyebrow quirked.
“If she really does have a boy up there, he better pray he’s out the window by the time we get up there.”
Tommy’s brow, lowered after asking Polly how she’d respond, lifted back once again. “There’s no God for him to pray to, Arthur. The boy is fucked, plain and simple.”
“In more ways than one.”
John’s childish cackles were hushed into silence, a slap sounding throughout the room prior to their ceasing. A hand rubbing the back of his head, John glared at his aunt, yet continued the discussion of what to do with Y/n nonetheless.
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The past ten minutes had been spent trying to block off any and all exists for the pesky little Niffler. Each time it attempted to escape the bedroom, Y/n or Newt were quick to block it off. It amazed Y/n how many places the little creature could scurry off through. Unfortunately, with their wild-goose-chase, footsteps turned to stomps...well, really running, but downstairs it was more likely to sound aggressive, such as the hard thud of a Blinder’s boot on the floor of the Garrison.
It was inevitable; the possibility of being caught, but the fact seemed to slip their minds as they both tried to corner the Niffler, as well as capture it once more. Every shiny thing, ranging from jewelry to bullet casings, or things that caught her eye, made into décor (gifted from her brothers, as she would never touch a gun unless need be) were being stolen as the creature evaded capture.
Newt shot Y/n a sorry look each time one of her belongings were snatched up by the Niffler. It touched her heart, truly, it did, but now was not the time to swoon. Y/n froze as the Niffler wandered over to a bottle. Wine? Champagne? She didn’t know; Y/n never drank- the bottle was a gift from her sister in law, which she couldn’t turn down without upsetting her, so it soon became another...decoration.
Atop the bottle was shimmery, gold-like, wrapping. Of course it caught the mischievous little shine-thief’s eye. It pulled and pulled, Y/n and Newt made eye contact as the uneasy feeling in their guts mirrored, until POP!
The door broke open with a loud bang, Arthur standing confused before getting both a Niffler and a cork to the space between his brows. While Y/n flinched, Newt only looked away in shame.
“What. The. Literal. Fuck. Was. That?” John gapped. His usual remark would be to poke fun, but he too was in great shock, he couldn’t even think of anything humorous.
“A- ...A Niffler.” Newt stuttered. His rather shy demeanor was rarely common around Y/n, so she new he was slightly uncomfortable the second his hand lifted to itch the back of his neck as his eyes found interest in the floorboards.
“Did I fuckin’ ask you?” John narrowed his eyes at the timid wizard.
It was unusual for Y/n to get angry, but the unjustness of John’s attitude toward her lover didn’t sit well with her. “Leave him alone!”
Now there was more to be shocked about. “I- what?”
“You heard me, John. You, Arthur, and Thomas. Leave Newt alone. He didn’t mean for this to happen, so he shouldn’t be harassed by you three. Want to question him? Have Pol do it, but the second you come to my room and bully my lover is the second you cross the line.”
Tommy, amused, let out a little chuckle as he raised his eyebrows.
“Something funny to you, Thomas? ‘Cause I don’t think any of us are laughing.”
 “No, sister, nothing is of humor to me.” He muttered despite dawning a lopsided smirk. Tommy looked at his brothers and nodded his head toward the stairs before walking away. Although he was leaving, he never said he wouldn’t poke at the boy some more. Now just wasn’t worth it; he was already shaking in his boots as it is.
“Tommy- where- where’re you goin’?” John did a double take, following shortly after.
Arthur rubbed the red spot where he’d been nailed by the creature and it’s new favorite possession, proved by it cuddling the cork close to it’s body on the floor where it had landed after hitting Arthur. He excused himself politely before walking in the same direction as his brothers, still rubbing at his soon-to-be-bruising injury all the way down.
Newt took the opportunity to grab the niffler and tickle Y/n’s possessions from his tummy before running over and tucking him in the case. The anger faded from Y/n’s eyes as she watched her lover. “It looks as though the Niffler has discovered something new.” Newt chuckled lightly, easing up slowly.
“New indeed.”
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todomitoukei · 3 years
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Japanese vs. English Dabi - A 292 Comparison
As other people have already pointed it, the official translation is sometimes a little biased to the point of adding things into the text that aren’t in the original Japanese version or changing phrases to the point where the villains come off colder than they actually are.
The current chapters are highly important to Dabi’s and Shouto’s characters and so the official translation, unfortunately, can lead to people getting the wrong image of Dabi. This is not to say that Dabi is actually a super friendly guy - however, I don’t think you can get a full picture of all the layers to his character without taking the original text in mind.
Since there are a few panels I’m going to talk about from this chapter - comparing the Japanese version with the official translation and also dissecting and explaining the original Japanese phrases - I’m going to put the rest of this post under the cut because it’s a bit lengthy otherwise.
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Let’s start with these panels. Though these aren’t mistranslated per se, just like with the “dance with your son in hell” line from the previous chapter, the furigana next to the kanji have a different meaning here. As discussed before, whenever this is the case, the furigana are what the character says, and the kanji represent what the character actually means.
The line in the second panel is: 「轟家の過去が消えるわけじゃねえだろ。」
轟家 「とどろきいえ ; todoroki ie 」-> the Todoroki household
の 「 no 」-> particle to indicate possession, works like an apostrophe
過去 「かこ  ; kako  」 ->  the past; a past (i.e. a personal history one would prefer remained secret); one’s past
が 「 ga  」 -> particle to mark the subject of the sentence
消える 「きえる  ; kieru  」 -> to vanish; to disappear
わけじゃねえ 「 wakejanee  」 -> It doesn’t mean that
だろ 「 daro  」 ->  right ? (used to ask the person you’re talking to for confirmation)
The two words that have a different furigana reading than they should have, are Todoroki household and past. According to the furigana, Dabi says:
「 うち 」-> house; one’s own home
「 じじつ 」-> truth; reality
So going by the kanji reading you get:
“This doesn’t mean that the past of the Todoroki household just disappears, right?”
Whereas what he actually says is:
“This doesn’t mean the truth of our home just disappears, right?”
In comparison to the “dance with your son in hell” line, these two versions don’t differ as much from another. Caleb actually addresses this in his twitter threat and sort of mixed the two versions into one: “This doesn’t change the hard truths about my family’s past!”
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Personally, considering he is directly talking to Shouto here, I find the choice of translating the Todoroki household/home part into “my family” a bit weird. Since he seeks Shouto’s confirmation here, it would make more sense to translate it as “our family” in my opinion. The “my” makes it feel a lot more self-centered, even though there is no indication for him to only be referring to himself here.
Switching the word to vanish with “change” also slightly changes the meaning here. Though both are accurate, I feel like their past disappearing holds more weight. The line is, after all, referring to the fact that Best Jeanist has appeared, despite Dabi earlier announcing that the hero had been killed. So even though Dabi was wrong about that part, it doesn’t make his other facts go away. It’s not just about changing his words, but making it like they were never spoken in the first place. It’s a small difference, but a difference nonetheless.
Finally, the “hard truths” part instead of reality/past. It’s interesting to think about why Dabi says “truth” when he means “past”. But I think one way to look at it is that to Dabi, he has accepted the past. He has lived with it and carried it with him in silence for so long, but was always aware of it. Despite him not having told anyone else about it, he didn’t deny that past to himself. He shows his scars and he fights back. That is who Dabi is as the person that rose from Touya’s ashes. Meanwhile, he says “truth” while talking to Shouto. While we, the readers, and those around Shouto know of his hatred towards Endeavor, Dabi doesn’t know about this. To him, Shouto really is just Endeavor’s little doll. And so in Dabi’s eyes, Shouto has yet to see the truth. To acknowledge their past and the pain they all went through. And though Dabi might not be completely right about Shouto, he isn’t entirely wrong, either. Because even when Shouto hates Endeavor, even when he says he is just going to use him for his own gain, at the end of the day, regardless of his reasons, his actions are still what Endeavor wants him to do - to train hard and want to become the Number One Hero.
I included one the alternative meanings “a personal past one might prefer remained secret” because it also fits well with that interpretation. That the true meaning behind him saying “truth” is not just the mere past, but the part of the past they don’t want to share. Whether that’s because it’s an ugly one that could haunt them for the rest of their lives, or because it’s just difficult to talk about. Either way, it’s more than just memories from when their family was still young. In that, I think “hard truth” is actually a fitting translation, even when it doesn’t have the exact same nuance as the Japanese version.
While Shouto and Dabi are in many ways similar to another, they have slightly different goals: While Dabi wants to kill Endeavor, Shouto wants to save his mom. To both of them that is liberty, just with a different approach.
And the ending of the sentence, where he seeks confirmation from Shouto, sort of indicates just that. He wants Shouto to admit it. Pushing him into a corner and asking a question that only has one right answer. This is also similar to a few chapters ago when Toga confronted Uraraka with the question “Was Jin not a person?” It’s asking something with an obvious answer, yet the people being asked seem to not yet be able to give the right answer, even when they might already know it.
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Next of, Shouto confronts Dabi about the villain he sent to their house, who could have killed Natsuo. As you can see in the panel above, the English translation has Dabi say: “Almost killed? What a shame. That would’ve really hurt Endeavor.”
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Meanwhile, the Japanese version says: 「それならそれで。エンデヴァーが苦しむ。」
「それならそれで ; sorenara sorede 」 -> even so (expression frustration); still
「 エンデヴァー ; Endebā 」 -> Endeavor
「 が ; ga 」 -> particle to mark the subject of the sentence
「 苦しむ ; kurushimu  」 -> to suffer
As you can see, “Almost killed? What a shame” is kind of very far off from the actual meaning. While the official translation makes it almost sound like Dabi is disappointed and wants Natsuo to be killed, the fan translation has him say: “Then that would mean Endeavor would suffer.” This is a lot closer to the Japanese version and focuses on the more important part: the goal is for Endeavor to suffer. Dabi’s intention isn’t to get anyone else in the family hurt/killed in the process, however, he does have this tunnel vision where everything is about Endeavor and doing whatever to hurt him.
“What a shame” sounds like he is upset Natsuo didn’t actually die. While, as stated above, the first part can show frustration, that frustration more likely refers to the disappointment that Endeavor doesn’t suffer as much as he could.
While both versions translate the second part as Endeavor “would” suffer/be hurt by this, the Japanese uses the present tense for suffering. In a way, Dabi is saying “Well, though he could’ve been more hurt, he suffers.” Maybe he hasn’t been as damaged as could be, but it doesn’t matter, because the fact remains that he does suffer from this, present tense. So Dabi doesn’t recognize this as a loss or “a shame” that Natsuo didn’t die. Instead, he recognizes that Endeavor suffers, even when he isn’t met with the worst-case scenario.
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In response to the last panel, Shouto asks whether Dabi is insane (please don’t ask people that) and Dabi’s response in the original translation is “Sure am, Shouto. See, your brother’s not so big on “feelings” anymore.”
A couple of thoughts on this. First, this is a downgrade in comparison to the fan translation of “You got it, Shouto! Your big brother has completely lost any feeling for anything!”
Something the phrasing coupled with Dabi’s wide eyes and big smile make me laugh and this panel now lives rent free in my head. 
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Anyway, the Japanese line goes: 「そうだよ焦凍兄ちゃん何も感じなくなっちまった。」
「そうだよ ; soudayo 」 -> that is right
「 焦凍  ; Shouto 」 -> Shouto
「 兄ちゃん ; Nii-Chan 」 -> big bro (in a very endearing way, but can also be used to be demeaning)
「 何も  ; nanimo 」 -> nothing
「 感じ ; kanji 」 -> feeling
「 なく ; naku 」 -> adverbial form of nai; attaches to a verb to mean “without”
「 なっちまった ; nacchimatta 」 -> to have become (unintentionally; regretfully)
The fan translation, in my opinion, is far more accurate, but there is still something missing. 
First of all, I don’t know why the official translation put feelings in quotes as if Dabi didn’t actually say it? mean it? It just feels like an odd choice that I can’t find a good enough justification for.
Second of all, “not so big on ‘feelings’ anymore” and “has completely lost any feeling for anything” is a big difference, and would make sense if the fan translation was inaccurate. But it isn’t. The official translation makes it sound like Dabi more or less chose not to feel anymore or pay attention to his feelings. He could, but he doesn’t want to. You could argue that both sentences still carry the same meaning: Dabi doesn’t feel anymore. "To be big on something” usually refers to having a strong interest in something and prioritizing said interest, which implies that one chooses to prioritize it. While I’m not arguing that some people do choose to ignore their feelings instead of confronting them, in this case, it’s actually the opposite of what he says.
Looking at the actual Japanese sentence, it begins with Dabi confirming Shouto’s words. Yes, I am crazy. There is no denying, nor shame in this. There is almost a bit of pride in that - so little bro actually recognizes that I have gone crazy from this.
Nii-Chan is an interesting choice of words here. The Japanese language is very much based on hierarchy. There are different levels of formality (shown through words, expressions, and verb forms) depending on whom you are speaking to. To summarize: When you are talking to someone who is of higher status (based on job position, age, experience). This also applies to siblings. Since those of higher status can be more direct/less formal with those of lower status, older siblings can address their younger siblings by their given name alone. 
Meanwhile, the younger siblings would use some kind of honorific/suffix. In this case, the “Nii” means older brother. “San” is the standard suffix you would use to address your older siblings (and other people in general). “Chan” is a suffix that you usually use for kids/girls, - where it has a cute, endearing connotation - wherefore it becomes kind of rude when used for older people (as in people who aren’t children anymore). But it can also show endearment - a close bond between the siblings.
So why does Dabi call himself “Nii-Chan”? While you can interpret this as a sarcastic remark to mock their non-existent relationship, I think here Dabi uses it here to humanize himself to Shouto. Kind of like an “I know you see me as a villain right now, but I also am your bro, remember?” He isn’t just this “evil criminal” - rather cute lil Touya is still inside of him. Dabi isn’t just Dabi. He still is Touya, too. So if you fight Dabi and if you call Dabi insane, you also do those things to Touya. Dabi might be the stage of “having completely lost it” but that doesn’t just suddenly happen. It’s a process. While we can say Dabi became Touya on the day Touya “died” yet it’s important to recognize that there was a gradual transition where both Touya and Dabi existed.
Now that we have that part aside, let’s focus on the actual point of that phrase. The part about his feelings.
何も感じなくなっちまった。 Nanimo kanjinaku nacchimatta.
“Nanimo” means nothing and comes with negative verbs that it refers to.
As mentioned before, “kanji” means feeling and is paired with the adverbial form of “nai” - “naku” which negates “kanji” to turn it into not feeling. Pair that with “nanimo” and you get a meaning of “feeling nothing”
Now for the actually interesting part of this phrase (apologies that it took so long) - “nacchimatta”. This word consists of two seperate words: “naru” and “chimatta”. “Naru” means to become and is here merged with “chimatta” which is the colloquial past tense version of “teshimau”. The verb “shimau” expresses that an action (the verb it attaches to) has happened either unintentionally or has yielded regrettable results. So in this case, it is unintentional/regrettable that he has become something.
Putting this together, Dabi says that he has turned into someone who doesn’t feel anything anymore and this was not his intention, nor is it a good thing. To be fair, “shimau” can also mean something happens completely, however this meaning is rarer and while we can say that this is the meaning here, it’s more likely and more interesting to consider the more common meaning.
With that in mind, I want to quickly address the panel next to it, where Shouto asks him whether he has gone insane
In Japanese Shouto says:「イカれてんのかてめェ!」
「イカれて ; ikarete  」 -> (*ika is written in katakana here to emphasize the word since you can’t use italics in Japanese) to be beaten; to be crazy
「 ん  ; n 」 -> ender is used when explaining something; often with emotion*
「 の ; no 」 -> explanatory particle; used at the end of a sentence like a question marker, but you want the listener to answer and give you the reasons why
「 か ; ka 」 -> ender indicating doubt or uncertainty
「 てめェ!; temee! 」 -> you (derogatory) *meme not intended
The reason why these nuances are important to take into account is that when Dabi, in his reply confirms that “Yes, you’re right, unfortunately, I have become unable to feel anything” he is not just confirming the statement, but emphasizing just how tragic this all is.
*[edit because someone pointed this out to me: the ん here is actually more likely to be the casual form of いる (iru) that attaches to the て (te) form of a verb to turn it into the current/ongoing state (= In this case "are you being crazy).]
The official translation simply made Shouto say: “Are you freaking insane?!” which isn’t exactly wrong but misses the nuance of the “nnoka” in the middle of the sentence. While the official translation sounds rather cold and dismissive, the original shows that Shouto cares. There is emotion, and more importantly: there is a desire to hear his reasons. “Why do you think it was okay to put Natsuo in danger?” By the way, the “n” ender that shows emotion when explaining something is also used by Shouto earlier when he says “Remember him? The brother you cried to every day?!” - It’s no surprise that he is emotional right now, still, it’s important to note that he isn’t just showing his emotions through his tone or his expression, but also through his words in order to make it as clear as possible to Dabi how much Dabi’s actions affect the rest of them and hopefully be able to get through to it.
It’s an emotional and tragic conversation that takes place between them, yet the official translation turned it into a much colder, less-caring one.
I know this was a lengthy post with a lot of information, so congrats and thank you if you’ve made it this far. The reason why I decided to make this post was that initially, the “Nii-Chan can’t feel anything anymore” part stuck with me so much and even more so when I dissected it.
Again, other people have pointed out that the official translation is very biased at times, which is not just sad for those of us who care about the villains, but it’s also just not professional. A lot of the panels I talked about in this post aren’t inherently incorrect, they are simply missing nuances that the English language doesn’t provide. Still, I wished that a professional translator would figure out a way to at least slightly incorporate these anyhow (which btw is literally part of the job). Aside from those, it’s just frustrating when the emotions get almost entirely removed from phrases. I get it - Dabi is apathetic, as he says himself. And yet, Dabi is also constantly shown to put extreme care into which words he chooses; this chapter being no exception. So why does such an important conversation between two brothers get changed in ways that make people who don’t bother checking other translations/the Japanese version unable to get the right image of them?
I understand that it’s important to support the official translation and I do. But it’s also very much important to read other versions, too. While the fan translation might have errors and mistranslations in it here and there, it tends to be a bit more literal and thus includes the nuances more than the official translation does. So please don’t just read the official translation and treat it like the only valid one, when it also comes with its flaws and just isn’t a good sole source for when you want to understand the characters.
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hyunjilicious · 4 years
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that night [harry styles]
A best friends to something else type of story. Exactly 7.8k (literally 7800 words which is scary) and you know I can’t write that much without SMUT. This takes place during a sleepover at the end of quarantine! Maybe tell me what you thought? :) (I promise I’ll edit this soon!)
-
“Show me yer phone, love” Harry groaned, sending you the coldest of death stares. The night started off as usual, you two just watching some old documentaries, paying more or less attention to them as you mostly just sat and talked. Things took a turn when your phone started blowing up with messages. Being the kind of person who always replies in an instant, suspicions arose when you decided to completely ignore the texts. Although Harry never violated your privacy and never pushed you for answers you didn’t want to give, when you started laughing and got nervous about whoever it was that kept texting you, he figured it would be worth it to push your buttons.
“I said no” you repeated yourself, standing up from the couch. There were two main reasons you didn’t want to talk about the person texting you, and these 2 reasons were also probably the only two things in the world you wouldn’t want to discuss with him.
“Why no’?” he asked offended, following you into the kitchen, like a small child begging his parents to let him have his way, “What can be tha’ bad? I wouldn’t have asked any questions if yeh hadn’t been so off about it from the start”
You turned and looked at him dead in the eye, contemplating what to say next. He beat you to it.
“Is it a guy? Have you been seein’ someone?” Harry asked as he walked over to you, completely ignoring your personal space. “Is tha’ it? I don’t wanna read yeh texts, just tell me yes or no, and I’ll drop it. Promise”
You took a deep breath. “Yes, it’s a guy” you said calmly, “But we’re not seeing each other”
“Then why does he keep texting yeh like crazy?”
“Crazy…” you sighed, tapping your chin, “Good description”
“Come on, Y/n” Harry whined, tapping your shoulder as he walked past you and towards the refrigerator, “Just tell me, I’m really curious, crazy how?”
“Promise you’re not gonna freak out?” you laughed, grabbing whatever he was pulling out of the fridge and handing to you. You stopped paying attention after three cups of pudding and one bottle of wine.
“When have I ever freaked out?” he joked, mocking himself. He was usually a calm person, more composed than anyone you’ve ever met, and he less than rarely got angry. And from those times when he did lose his temper, 90% of cases were mild and he was still calmer than anyone else in that kind of situation, but that 10% left was pure terror. When his friends told you years ago that nothing’s scarier than Harry when he was truly mad, you didn’t quite believe them. You had to see for yourself to accept it. It only happened a few times in almost 5 years, but you always still did everything you could to keep him from going off again.
“Ok, so” you started speaking as you rummaged around your kitchen for bowls and glasses, “His name is Marcus and we actually met on Tinder-”
“Wait a second” he cut you off, “During the lock down?”
“Oh, no. It happened before all of this madness. Around january, I think”
It was obvious he was already bothered by how this conversation started, but he did his best to control himself so you wouldn’t decide to drop it. “Pretty serious, then, huh?��� he said eventually.
“Literally the opposite” you laughed, pouring the pudding into the bowl, “We saw each other once-” and it hurt you to say the following part but you did it nonetheless, “hooked up, and didn’t talk since”
Pure annoyance was readable on his features. “Apparently haven’t talked until now?”
“Yeah, I mean-” you cringed, “He texted me like a week or so ago and we didn’t - vibe, and he got weird, so like I muted the conversation for 7 days because I didn’t want him to bother me anymore but he got so defensive it was funny so I didn’t really wanna block him”
“Yeh muted the guy a week ago and he still keeps trying?” Harry asked, completely taken aback, “Can’t blame him, but still, tha’s a bit much”
“It is” you nodded in agreement, and motioned for him to open the bottle of wine for you.
“He must have liked yeh a lot” he mumbled, twisting the corkscrew into the top of the bottle, “Maybe you two had a really great time, and he-”
“Harry” you stopped him, leaning your head to the side, “I know you’re squeezing information out of me right now, but I honestly don’t think you want to hear more of this”
“Ok” he sighed defeated, “I’m gonna stop pushin’ yeh. Thanks for tellin’ me tho. And sorry if I crossed any lines''
“You haven’t, H” you smiled, giving him a hug from behind. “It’s fine”
After gathering everything you had fixed up to take into the living room, the pudding and the wine, as you passed the threshold of the kitchen, you heard Harry speak up, traces of amusement audible in his voice. “But like… At least was the sex good?”
“You want me to answer that?” you chuckled, plopping down on the couch. “Do you seriously want me to answer that?”
“Yeah” Harry shrugged, smiling innocently.
“It was horrible” you said bluntly and watched his grin wilt away. “Probably the worst sex I’ve ever had. No, no, no.. Definitely the worst sex I have ever had in my entire life”
His mouth fell agape. “Seriously? Why?”
“Well, i got to his house… And you know, up until then everything was fine, like he seemed like a completely normal and fun guy while we texted but like, as soon as i got to his place he became really… I don’t even know how to put it, he was um.. Very clingy and weird and we talked for a bit but then when we went to his room he turned into literally the biggest asshole I met”
“What?” Harry exclaimed, “Tha’s not wha’ I expected”
“Exactly!” you laughed, “Neither did I!”
“Then wha’ happened?”
“I went down on him and he didn’t do the same because apparently he finds that gross? That’s what he told me but I didn’t wanna get into it because I went there to get dick so I was like let’s just fuck, and we did… We made out a bit, got him worked up again, and when we fucked I literally thought something was wrong with me, because he just.. I don’t know. Bumped into me and after he finished I was there like… What just happened?”
“Yeh were right when yeh said I didn’t wanna hear this”
“Told you” you giggled, grabbing your pudding and toying with your teaspoon.
“Jus’ stop using Tinder, please” Harry eventually shook his head.
“A girl has needs, ok?”
He was enraged and completely ignored your words, “And wha’ does he want from yeh now? He really thinks yeh’d see him again? Really?”
“I don’t even know what he’s been saying, honestly” you shrugged.
“Can I see?” 
“Can you like, read from the notification box? I don’t wanna leave him on seen”
Harry nodded in agreement and you gave him your phone. He pressed the lock button, the screen lit up, and it was instantly flooded with texts from him. Since you put the conversation on mute a week ago, you had no idea what he had been saying. It seemed that he didn’t appreciate your lack of interest and that he didn’t bother to hold back.
‘You pathetic whore, u really think ur gonna find someone better than me? U think ur so high and mighty and hot but  ur gonna die alone you bitch. Do u feel better about yourself if u juts ignore my texts???? Well good for fucking u-’ and Harry locked the phone, the screen going black.
“The fuck did I just read?” he questioned, his annoyance from earlier, now morphing into pure anger.
“You said you wanted to read” you shook your head.
“Why does he think he can talk to yeh like that?”
“I don’t honestly care” you sighed, “It’s not like I’ll ever see him again, so he can go and say anything he wants”
“‘S not how that works, darlin’” he said.
"Can we drop this, please" you sighed, unable to quite look in his direction, "I don't like this"
"Well-" Harry erupted and judging by the way his voice instantly died down, you could tell he almost lost control, "I don't fucking like it either, ok? But yeh shouldn't jus' accept tha'!"
"I wouldn't call it acceptance, H" you shook your head, discarding your bowl of pudding and jumping straight to the bottle of wine. "I told him I'm not interested, and I stopped replying. It's not acceptance... he just keeps trying"
"But for some reason yeh're letting him talk t' yeh like tha'"
"Well-" you shrugged, and took a big gulp of red wine, "He talks by himself"
"Y/n…" Harry called, his voice soft and you could tell that there was anger hidden somewhere deep inside, but you still appreciated the fact that he managed to keep it contained. He extended his arm, his fingers brushing against the side of your thigh. It was a soft, delicate touch, that made every hair on your body stand up. He did it to get your attention and boy, did it work. Instantly, your eyes snapped to his, and were met with something you did not see coming. "Can I say something?" he asked cautiously, his eyes shining with genuine worry.
"You're making this into something much more significant than it actually is"
"I'll drop it" he eventually nodded, "If you promise me something"
"What?"
"If anythin' similar to this happens again, tell me"
"And what are you gonna do about it?" you giggled, trying to lighten the mood. As you kept staring into his green eyes, you brought the wine bottle up to your lips, took a long sip, and then handed it to him.
He took the bottle out of your hands, seemingly not giving more than two shits about it. The warmth in his eyes accentuated as his eyebrows gathered into a concerned furrow, "Make sure it doesn't get to yeh"
"It doesn't" you smiled.
"Lemme make sure" 
"Ok, Harry" you laughed, "I promise you that the next time a guy from Tinder gets mad about me not reciprocating the feeling, and he starts sending me that kind of texts, I will tell you"
The sarcasm just flowed out of you, and he was not impressed.
"I meant in general, love"
"Any guy?" you taunted, "Not just from tinder?"
"Fucking put on tha’ movie" he shook his head, "I know yeh too well. Won't get anywhere until you get some wine in tha’ belly"
"That's your plan?" you laughed, "Get me drunk and make me spill all my secrets?"
"I never assumed you had any secrets, but yeah, now I wanna know those too" Harry grinned, throwing his arm around you and pulling you to his chest. Although this kind of intimacy was something you've been somewhat used to, tonight it was just a bit more difficult to bear. And it may all have been due to the way he mentioned he wouldn’t want anything to get to your head, and the way he said he’d make sure of it. Even though you weren’t truly clear how he’d do that and what exactly was going through his head, it was crystal clear how you’d have him do that.
But now was not the time. You glued your eyes to the TV screen, and begged your brain to focus on the movie in front of you and not whatever Harry was thinking about, mere inches away from you.
There had been something in the air that night, because neither of you managed to pay any kind of attention to the movie anymore. You talked, the conversation not going back to the previous topic, you laughed, gossiped like there was no tomorrow, and now it was almost 4am, and you and Harry were 3 bottles of wine in. Deciding to cut the alcohol before it was too late, you settled for water, as Harry went on to finish a weird story he once heard from a hippie touring the states in his van. He was completely smitten, his eyes shone with admiration for the old man. Harry spoke with words of great respect about a life he wished he could once live. It was only a matter of time until it would get to you.
“But,” you sighed, laying down and placing your head into his lap, “You really seem like the kind of guy to pack his bags and just leave. Like get a couple of friends or something, leave a note saying you’ll eventually be back, and just travel around the world”
“I kinda already do tha’ love” Harry laughed, double chin showing as he looked down at you.
“Not what I meant” you shook your head, “And you know it”
“Wha’ did yeh mean, then?”
He looked down at you, his hands finding their way into your hair as you contemplated how to put the words together. “I don’t know… Less social interaction-” you finally said, “Make it less about living the same songs in front of thousands of people, and more about living a completely new experience as you really get to know just a handful of people”
He didn’t look convinced. His dimples were showing, and a chuckle was threatening to escape his lips.
“That didn’t make any sense, did it?” you laughed.
“It did” Harry smiled, “Might have’ta resume this in tha’ morning, but i think i got the idea”
You pointed your finger to him, “Best”
“Me?” he grinned, grabbing your hand, “Oh, stop it!”
“Not you, your idea”
“Nice save, love”
You wanted to object and keep this topic going as the butterflies in your stomach started to riot, but just as you opened your mouth to speak, the sound of your phone receiving another text filled the air. In an instant, your eyes locked with Harry’s and you knew he wasn’t gonna let any of that shit slide. Not wanting to give him the chance to protest, you sprung up and leaned towards the coffee table, your fingers barely managing to brush against the side of your phone before Harry grabbed your waist and yanked you back, pressing you against the cushions of the sofa as he hovered above you.
The intimacy and urgency of this whole charade made your skin crawl, and you couldn’t help but let a few giggles escape, “What are you doing?” you laughed.
“Not lettin’ tha’ asshole ruin your night, love” Harry smirked, tilting your head so that you had to face him. 
“I’ll see the text in the morning and it will ruin my whole day” you played along, but as it turned out, you dug your own grave.
“Oh?” he grinned, “So it does get to you”
“No!” you belted, “That is not what I meant, Jesus harry”
“Come on, hon” 
His head tilted to the side, before he leaned down and nudged the tip of your nose with his. “Jus’ say the word”
That sent burning chills down your spine, and your cheeks couldn’t do anything but to comply and turn an erotic shade of pink.
“I’m not sure what to say” you mumbled, fighting against the urge to jump on him.
“I’m yer best friend, love-” he made a small pause, for dramatic effect, and just stared down at you while your blood boiled, “Lemme show yeh how good yeh can feel”
“I-”
He cut you off, obviously proud of himself, “I obviously wouldn’t have asked twice if I hadn’t felt you squeeze your thighs around me”
“Fuck, Harry-” you said, embarrassment rushing all over you as you threw your hands in the air.
He leaned down, and brushed his lips along your jaw, “Yeh could be screaming tha’ name”
Regaining your composure, you grabbed his chin and forced him to make eye contact once again, “What does this mean to you?”
“It doesn’t have t’ mean anything we don’t want it to” he nodded, “Just friends looking out of one another”
“Mhm..” you choked, “Yep”
“Tell me, and I’ll get off of you”
Your answer came a short second later. “Yeah, get off” you said sternly.
His features barely got a chance to show the disappointment that enveloped him, because as soon as the words left your mouth, you pushed yourself up. Excitement started showing on his face as you pushed yourself up. With a devilish smile on your lips, you grabbed the hem of his shirt; not giving him a chance to secure his balance on his knees before you pulled the material up his body. He clumsily shuffled out of it, his tattoos coming into full view.
“Is that a new one” you asked, pointing to his left shoulder.
To your surprise he took you seriously, and looked down, obviously confused, “Which one, love?”
“This one” you grinned, pushing yourself up and against his chest, this way, giving yourself a chance to press your lips to the base of his neck.
Harry’s whole body shivered under you as he let out a small chuckle. Instantly, his hands found your waist. Once your lips grazed his sensitive skin, the muscles of his neck relaxed as if under a spell and his head fell back. Harry’s fingers dug into your sides as your teeth sunk his flesh, sucking profusely. Having waited for this so many years, it felt all too real and completely unreal at the same time. There was a fire burning inside of you and the soft moans slipping past his lips were no help with taming it.
“Having fun?” Harry laughed, but his confidence and usual air of self control were shaking.
As a response, you bit into his ear lobe and delighted yourself with the whimpers of pleasure he didn’t even try to hide.
Although burning for it, you didn’t have it in you to go for his lips, so when he was the one to do it, all your radars went crazy. The way he grabbed your chin and pulled you closer, it was all you wished for. Years worth of pent up emotions dripped from your lips and onto his.
How ungrateful and inappropriate would it have been for you to beg for more and guide the situation in a different direction? Even if his gentleness made your knees weak, the heat between your legs begged for a less kissing and a lot more biting. 
It was when he pressed you down against him that made you forget about everything that held you back. His erection was rubbing against your thigh as you grinded down on him, and you couldn’t help but break the kiss and sink your teeth into his lower lip.
Harry threw his head back against your touch, and a proud smile lifted up the corners of your mouth.
“Come on” you moaned, kissing your way down to his ear, “Show me how you should treat a girl”
His fingers snuck into your hair and pulled your head back, forcing your eyes to meet his’, “Is it me? Or are yeh a bit more excited for this than you initially let on?”
Your eyes sparkled as you let out the fib, “It’s just you”
Grinning, he shook his head in mock approval, and secured you in his hold, before effortlessly spinning the two of you around. Now, a mess of limbs, you looked up at Harry with what could only be described as pure lust. And it all reflected on his features. His ridiculously messy curls framed his face perfectly, allowing his proud gaze to fuel your engines.
With all your might you wanted to let him take the lead and not show too much enthusiasm, but it felt next to impossible. Before you knew it, your hands were cupping his cheeks again, forcing his body flush against your own. He kissed you back with no hesitation, as if he too waited years for this to finally happen, as if this was his dumb way of confessing to you that he too, was head over heels for you. But that was a scenario that regardless of its likelihood, was sure to ruin your mood. 
So you pushed it aside, forced your mind to fall on standby, and instead, you concentrated on the way his hands explored every single inch of your body. When he broke the kiss, you wanted to protest, your tongue crying from the sudden loss of contact. But his lips traveled lower, kissing all the way over down your neck, along your collarbones, and across your chest. It was all aggravated and hungry, as if he couldn’t get enough. 
“Yeh good?” Harry asked, looking up at you, cheeks all flushed.
“Yep, yeah” you whispered, the weight of the moment turning your voice into a light chuckle. Breathless and innocent, you were on cloud nine, and all your struggles to keep that hidden were in vain.
Delicately, as only he could, Harry pushed your shirt over your head, leaving you exposed, a fact which sent a whole new wave of pleasure down your body. This gesture alone shook your whole world, but he wasn't wasting any time. You barely even got a chance to catch your breath before he lowered himself, and cupped your breasts into his palms. Your back arched in an instant, and when his warm lips connected to your skin, goosebumps propagated all over your whole body. As circled his lips and caught your nipple between his teeth, your mind went crazy, muscles sizzling with anticipation. A suggestive moan slipped from your throat, and you could tell it surely tickled his ego.
“Gettin’ there?” he questioned even if he already knew the answer.
You threw him half a shrug, tilting your head to the side and pressing your cheek to your shoulder.
“So fuckin’ cute, angel” Harry chuckled, shaking his head as he crawled up your body, “Why’re yeh so cute?”
“How would I know?” you blushed, playing along with his overly teasing approach, “You’re the one who sad it”
“Don’t know why I think yeh’re cute?”
You nodded no.
A small but sure fire lit up his features, and he knew it was on. He did maintain the eye contact for a while, but when he finally looked down at your body, nonchalantly staring at your chest, that was when your breath got caught in your throat. The pressure was building up, yet Harry kept pushing your buttons. 
In desperate need to pick up the pace, you nudged his chin with the back of your fingers, and when his eyes caught yours; you raised one eyebrow, motioning for him to continue. “Wha’ do yeh want me t’ tell yeh, love?” Harry grinned, leaning down to kiss your neck.
“Tell me what you like about me” you laughed, linking your fingers in his hair. While you laughed due to the amount of different emotions that coursed through you, Harry made it all the more difficult for you to keep it together. His kisses were light enough for you to feel the ounces of love that dripped from his lips, but carnal enough to keep you on your toes.
“I love everything about yeh” he murmured against your skin, his chain of passionate kisses crossing over to the other side of your neck, “I mean, wha’s there not t’ like?”
“Word” you giggled, your sarcasm coming in perfect contrast to the weakness his question brought to your knees.
“Fuckin’ love every inch” Harry said, having completely ignored your joke, “Every single part of yeh, yer body and god, yer mind”
His hands cupped the sides of your rib cage, as his lips traveled down your sternum. He seemed lost, completely absorbed. Every time he looked up at you, it was impossible not to notice how out of this world his eyes seemed. Glossy and dark, extravagant green looking to explore more of you. And those were only the times you managed to catch him staring. The pleasure this man provided surpassed the moaning level, he got you working hard not to scream in ecstasy, as his tongue ran laps around your nipples, and the way his lips sucked with that specific amount of pressure. It looked as if he already knew where all your buttons were, he acted as if he knew your body better than you did. And for you, that was a new experience, which would’ve already been too much, even without Harry involved. But seeing your fingers get lost in his absolutely perfect in a messy kind of way locks, as he treated your skin with such refined skill, you found yourself way too close to the edge.
In the high of the moment, probably following an unidentifiable stimulus, you found yourself concentrated on the way his palms felt against your skin. He held you in his arms as if you were the most precious thing he ever laid eyes on. And for some reason, that feeling alone had you skyrocketing.
It was when you moaned out loud, for the first time not holding back, that he finally decided to give you what he promised. 
“Yeh sure this is ok, angel, yeah?” he murmured, looking up at you. 
His light stubble tickled the lower side of your abdomen as his breath barely managed to reach your skin. 
“Yeah” you clumsily nodded, your words coated in fervid enthusiasm.
Something happened. Something clicked inside of him. You saw it in the way his eyes warmed up. For a second he didn’t move, instead he just took in everything that was happening. When he eventually pushed himself up, you expected him to help you or motion for you to undress, but he didn’t. Harry lowered himself on top of you, pressing his chest against your own.
His fingers locked themselves against your chin, “I really wanna fucking do this right for yeh”
His confession took you aback. The seriousness in this tone was not something you anticipated. At first, he was the one who made it all seem like a meaningless game, yet right now, it seemed as though he fell into his own trap. 
All you could do was nod. Nod in approval, nod as a sign for him to keep going. As a promise that it was all ok. This attitude of his was not something you signed up for. Even if it looked like the beginning of what you always wanted, it also felt a little bit too sudden.
“Come here” you cooed, cupping his cheeks in a loving manner.
In an instant, he leaned into your touch, his skin burning against your damp palms. For the x-th time that evening, his lips melted onto yours, but something felt different. But you kept going, allowed the moment to carry you further without giving yourself the burden of dictating a direction. 
And seconds passed, and with each one, his touch became more and more aggravated. You could feel his need, and you have loved to think that what you were feeling from him was love, but it was just too big of a step to take right now. Not too shortly after, the situation escalated towards the point you left off earlier. You let him take the lead, and he soon returned to his usual self.
Harry made his way down your body through a chain of lingering kisses, each one of them awakening yet another side of you. This time, you were given no time to prepare. His experienced hands grabbed your thighs, groping their way up to your hips. Although it was fairly fast, it felt like an eternity. You breathing picked up when his fingers hooked themselves into the waistband of your leggings, and without even thinking about it, you pushed yourself up, allowing him to take them off. 
Now, you hadn’t seen this coming, because if you had, you probably would have chosen to wear something less embarrassing than your Superman underwear. Your cheek heated up as if it was the first time a man had seen you naked, and all your insecurities washed over you. None of those thoughts crossed Harry’s mind though. 
He just smiled - a gesture whose roots you’d never know. 
Harry positioned himself between your legs, his fingers gingerly tracing up and down your outer thighs. “Really fucken gorgeous, yeh know tha’?”
His compliments have never been this hard to receive, “Shut up” you chuckled, rolling your eyes as you couldn't help but squirm under his stare.
“Wha’?” Harry grinned, leaning his head to the side as he let his teasing side take over, 
“Tha’ tinder fuckface never told yeh just how perfect yeh look?”
“This is still about him, huh?”
“It’s about yeh, love” Harry rolled his eyes, letting his nails graze your skin, “Always been about yeh, always will be”
With each word that let his mouth, he leaned down, lower and lower, until every inch of his body was pressing against your own. He dominated the moment, and you love it.
When he engulfed your lips into a kiss, his right hand traveled between your legs. That alone made your core vibrate, and knowing there was no way to hide your enthusiasm, made you smile.
You felt the back of his fingers trace up and down your opening, and his words confirmed your suspicions. He pulled away from your lips just enough so he could speak, but he was still too close for you to properly see his features - he was just a few literal inches away, “I can’t wait to taste yeh, doll”
The grin on his lips and the pride of his tone, had a visible effect on you. The hairs on your body stood up in anticipation, and you couldn’t help but arch your back and close your legs around him. You kissed him back, and this time, it was on.
As his tongue pushed past your lips, Harry’s hands lewdly traveled down your sides, caressing every inch of exposed skin they found in their way. You didn’t see the eagerness coming, but when he reached between your legs, the flimsy material of your underwear didn’t even begin to come in his way. He shoved his hand under your panties, his fingers instantly coming in contact with your opening.
It was solely the emotional value of the moment that made you nearly gasp. Harry took his sweet damn time, as if you needed any more foreplay. The pads of his fingers gingerly traced up and down your opening a few times, before coming back up again to rest against your clit. It was soft and easy at the beginning, but the feather light touch of his fingers started gaining more and more pressure as subtle circular movements started to form.
When you looked up at him, you were met with the mess of curls that had fallen onto his forehead as he had his head hanging low, with his eyes trained between your bodies. With a gentle nudge against his chin, you prompted him to look up. At first he seemed a bit disoriented, but a wicked grin shortly appeared on his lips. It made you smile.
He was the one to resume the kiss, making it gentle this time - in perfect contrast with the action of his fingers, as he slowly made his way past your folds. When the first finger went in, you curled the corners of your mouth in anticipation. It felt fine, but it was just the tip of the iceberg and you knew it. Eager for more, you allowed your teeth to lewdly sink into his lower lip, willing to show him you wanted more. 
With a grunt, Harry shuffled a bit, his knees bucking into your hips. The deep breath he released tickled your skin, but you weren’t going to let this go. As you forced your teeth just a bit deeper into his plush skin, Harry let his forehead fall against yours. 
His tongue neatly traced along your upper lip, and you thought it was in response to your actions. And this erroneous thought kept you from anticipating his next move. When Harry pushed one more finger in, your senses went mad, and the simple fact that he didn't give you too much time to adjust before he pushed a third finger in, rocked you completely. 
You moaned in return and arched your back.
"I got yeh, baby girl" he whispered softly, "Look at me, I got yeh, ok?"
After receiving an enthusiastic nod from you, Harry made his way down your body. This time, he swiftly shuffled to the side, pulling your legs together and riding you of the unnecessary piece of underwear you still had on.
Not waiting for him to take control, you spread your legs, and feasted on the carnal look he had in his eyes as he looked down at your body. He didn’t waste any time before finding the perfect spot between your legs. Your whole body shivered as he leaned his head to the side, his light stubble tickling its way down the inside of your thighs. 
And following the rough feeling of the still shy beard you didn’t think he was able to grow, when his soft lips brushed against your skin, you involuntarily clenched. You bucked your hips and your legs tried, but to no avail, to close the distance between one another. You wanted more - needed more. And he noticed it.
Looking down along your body, you could only see the top of his head. And his fingers, pressing into the skin of your legs. And the tip of his nose as he proceeded to tease you into oblivion with millions of kisses, each of them nothing less than heavenly, but still, nothing compared to what you knew was coming next. The only warning he gave you as a hurried grin, and it was nowhere near enough.
It was on. Elegantly, but with traces of dominance in his touch, and with two fingers, Harry spread your pussy wide open, his tongue lewdly slipping right inside you. The contact and the buildup made you gasp. Had you not been so over the moon and distracted already, you’d have heard him snicker in response to the sound you just made. But you were too caught up. You felt him on every inch of your body, and the signals your core were sending you, were not what you wanted.
You wanted this to last. To have him go at it, lapping at your core for hours. To feel his tongue wag until your senses went numb.It might have been the dry spell that was forced upon you as the pandemic overtook your life, or the timeless, painful crush you’ve had on him for years, but you were already on the edge.
Trying hard to make the moment last, you curled your pointer finger and shoved it into your mouth, biting down hard. Your back arched dangerously as your head flew back, but it all just worked in his favour. Your pleasure was building up, and the careful, experienced movement of Harry’s tongue against your clit was only gaining momentum.
“Yeh taste like fucking heaven but I think yeh already knew tha’” he said, for a second pulling away from your core and giving you a chance to catch your breath.
All you managed was a pathetic excuse of a nod, along with a shy roll of your eyes.
“None of tha’” Harry laughed, licking his lips, “Don’t care how close yeh are, ‘m not gonna stop until yeh moan my name, love”
“Jesus christ, Harry!” you panted, shaking your head.
He responded in a similar manner, and again, with no warning whatsoever, he went back in. This short break allowed you to regain your composure, even if it was just a tiny bit. Your excitement, although still there and just as consuming, was easier to control now. You felt his touch all throughout your body, his tongue tickling all your senses.
What brought you closer into the moment was the feeling of his hands, as he grabbed your thighs and pushed your legs up onto his shoulders. For whatever reason, this felt even more intimate, and as his fingers sank into your flesh, you felt your engines start up again.
The delicate flicks of his tongue were getting more and more aggravated by the second, and now it was close to impossible to keep calm. Sweaty palms gripping tirelessly into the cushions under you, your back under constant strain, your eyes squeezed shut - he had you entirely.
And as if that wasn’t enough, he went further. Harry pushed one finger inside of you, moving his lips up to fully concentrate on your clit. His tongue prepared you, got you all ready and wanting, and then, he wrapped his lips around your bundle of nerves and sucked - gently and with a minimal amount of pressure, but god-
“Fuck, Harry-” you called out. It was more of a cry, choked back in the depths of your throat, all breathy and muffled.
“Come on, angel” Harry whispered.
As you looked down, past your heaving chest, your eyes landed conveniently on the top of his head. Complete chaos - his unruly curls tickled the inside of your thighs, as his fingers dug into your flesh. The two rings he never takes off were sure to leave proud indents on your skin.
Harry sucked at your bundle of nerves, the eager touch of his tongue awakening absolutely every need inside your being. Add the experienced pumps of his fingers and the fact that this was Harry Styles and none other, and you were done.
With each passing second you started to lose more and more of the control you had on your body. Sweating nervously out of every pore of your body, you squirmed under his weight hoping you’d make the moment last.
“‘S good, love, isn’t it?” Harry smirked for just about a second, “I can see yeh, yeh’re a mess fo’ me”
“Fuck” you whined, covering your face with your right palm as your head tilted backwards, “Shut up”
“Oh!” Harry faked surprise, “Gettin’ cocky?”
As he spoke, Harry curled his fingers inside your pussy; maybe intentionally - maybe by chance, hitting all the right spots and making you moan out loud.
“I’ll take tha’ as an apology”
You scoffed.
Harry shook his head. When you looked down at him again, you caught him licking his lips. It was obvious he waited for you to catch him doing that.
Already at the edge of your self control, you curled your fingers into his hair, motioning for him to resume his work. He followed your lead without any complaints, and when his bottom teeth grazed your clit, even if it was light as a feather you lost it.
Your mind became numb, drunk on the pleasure he provided. Your eyes rolled back as you enjoyed every second of your high. Harry kept you spiraling, continuing to lap at your core as the muscles of your legs tensed uncontrollably around his frame.
“Holy fuck-” you breathed out, voice shaky and wounded.
He made sure to milk every ounce of pleasure out of your being, leaving you a heaving mess under his stare.
Harry pushed himself up, nonchalantly wiping his chin, his eyes not allowing yours to look away.
As you gathered yourself and worked on bringing your breathing back to normal, there was only one thought going on inside your head - that it would only be fair if you reciprocate the gesture. Thinking about it was enough to make your core buzz again, but you didn’t have it in you to bring it up, and instead hoped he’d show he wished things didn’t stop either.
But he didn’t.
However, you got to kiss him again. And no matter how badly you wanted to keep the atmosphere on fire, he had other plans. 
“Did I take good care of yeh?” Harry asked as he leaned down beside you. His hand found your cheek, keeping you in place for another longing kiss, “Did I do yeh right?”
You nodded against his lips, not willing to actually word the answer.
His chuckle made it clear that the point got through. And for a second it seemed as if the night wasn’t done. None of you was willing to pull away, and allowed the minutes to go by without a care in the world, lost in each other’s arms.
“Freakin’ love yeh, angel” Harry said.
It wasn’t the first time you’d hear this coming out of his mouth, but you couldn’t help but smile thinking this time it was meant in a different manner. You answered him by cuddling deeper into his chest, and that was a moment you wouldn’t have traded for the world.
And you fell asleep like that. No matter how big and luxurious your couch was, you still spent the night glued to one another. Harry felt every calm breath of yours on his skin and everytime he moved a bit to adjust his position, his hold tightened around you to make sure he wasn’t pushing you away.
After what was probably the best sleep you’d gotten in the whole year of 2020, morning came around. Actually it was lunch time, if we’re being generous. The sun was high up, proudly making its way into your living room, past the curtains to forgot to draw the other night.
When you awoke, Harry wasn’t there anymore. However, panic didn’t have the time to settle in as you heard movement coming from the kitchen, and the strong smell of coffee reached your nose in no time.
You got up from the couch, with herds of butterflies in your stomach. Harry’s words from last night still echoed in your head, and even now, with no alcohol in your system, they managed to bring goosebumps all over your skin.
“When did you get up?”
That was how you made your presence known.
Harry turned around with a smile on his face. He had a bag of avocados tucked under his arm, as he typed away on his phone. His undone pants were hanging onto his thighs for dear life, and the only other piece of fabric on his body was a thin, brown hair tie around his wrist. There were a few purple marks along his collar bones and his hair looked rougher than usual, things which deep down, shook you up a bit.
 “Wanted to take yeh out fo’ breakfast, but I gotta leave in like an hour, so I figured this should do”
“Yeah, yeah sure” you agreed, “It’s perfect”
“Would’ve done mo’, but Y/n, yeh have no food in this house”
You laughed, walking over to slump down into one of the chairs, “Didn’t get a chance to get any perishables”
“You got some” Harry chuckled, “You got weeks’ worth of everything you need to make guacamole and pancakes”
“I have no idea how that happened, those will spoil” you shook your head, “You can take some of them actually”
“Or I could just come over”
“Even better”
The food was ready in no time. Harry had everything done and set while you washed up a bit, and after that, you both sat down to eat. Minimal and light, but still, there was a weight in the pit of your stomach.
“About last night-” Harry began to say, but you tried to stop him.
“You don’t have to-”
“We kinda do, love” he smiled, “I need to apologise, angel”
You squinted your eyes, “For?”
“I don’t really have t’ apologise fo’ what I said because I meant every word” Harry slowly said, as if he has a hard time putting his thoughts together, “I jus’ wish I hadn’t said it like tha’ though”
“Like what?” you questioned, a bit lost.
“Like I had the right to say that kind of crap” he laughed. It was nervous laughter, like he was afraid of what was coming next, “I do fucking love yeh, but I shouldn’t have assumed you wanted to hear that”
“What are you talking about, I don’t understand” you groaned, growing a bit tired of the impatience he brought upon you.
“You’re my best friend, ok?” he sighed, “That’s all we are, Y/n, and that was not supposed to happen”
The food got lodged in your throat, and you felt like if you didn’t stand up, you’d no longer be able to breathe. “It was your idea” you scoffed.
Harry’s eyes followed your frame, but he remained seated, “I know”
“So what changed? If anything even changed. I don’t understand what the problem is. You regret we did what we did-”
“I don’t regret anything” Harry butted it.
“You said it was not supposed to happen!” you exclaimed, rolling your eyes as you walked over to the sink, just to make yourself useful and to stop just standing in front of him.
“The things I said to you-” he said sternly, pushing his chair back and throwing his hands into the air, “I shouldn’t have said those, ok? It doesn’t matter who meant what, I told you things that-”
“What did you tell me that’s bothering you so much?” you almost yelled, annoyance dripping out of your pores. You walked over to him, and he closed the distance by standing up.
“I-” Harry stuttered, playing with his hair to buy himself some more time. “All the-”
“What?” you pushed, “That you like everything about me? That’s what you regret saying? And what else?”
“God” he groaned, “I don’t regret saying tha’, it’s just tha’ it wasn’t my place to say it”
You fell silent.
“If I were you... I’d want to hear those things from someone that is more than just a friend to me” he confessed.
“And you can’t be that to me? More than a friend?”
After a few seconds of painful silence, realization hit him, “Y/n…”
He did reach out. He took a step towards you but you stepped back. The remorse in his tone was too painful to ignore. So you moved away from him and slowly made your way out of the kitchen.
“Y/n!” Harry called, following you.
“Just go”
“Please...”
“Please what?” you shook your head, but he didn’t have the words you needed to hear.
“I’m sorry”
“It’s fucking fine” you sighed, walking backwards towards your room, “Just show yourself out”
1K notes · View notes
harryskalechips · 4 years
Text
Illicit affairs
A/N Hellooooo! I haven’t written in a while but enjoy this little sad piece inspired by Taylor Swift! Thank you for all the love! I hope you guys are doing well! Feel free to leave a kind message in my inbox ❤️
Y/N was a new intern at Colombia records when she met Harry Styles. Their relationship takes a turn however, when they start an affair.
Tw: Cheating
Thank you @harrysleftchelseaboot for letting me participate in your writing challenge! For any writers out there who want to give it a go make sure to check it out! I would love to read some new work. 
Prompts:
“Be a good girl and spread your legs for me.”
“I’d punch you, but that would ruin that pretty little face of yours.”
“I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
“Leave.”
Note: I do not condone cheating whatsoever! Please mind that this story is fictional! As much as it makes me sad to paint Harry as a cheater, it’s part of this storyline I thought of as I listened to Taylor’s album, Folklore.
Word count: 5k / Masterlist
Y/N never knew she was going to be in this type of predicament. Falling asleep every night in a man’s arms, only to wake up alone in her cold sheets at dawn. For some odd reason, his vanilla scent smothered her atmosphere every time, leaving her in a subspace-like condition. She found her thoughts easily shifting to him or feeling the need to touch him. She’s whipped but sadly also clingy. 
Does she have an excuse to feel this way? She was only 21 when she began working as an intern at this man’s record label. He was her first serious relationship and although he was married -there always seemed to be a weird tension between them.
It all started when she was assigned to follow Rob Stringer through his meetings in 2017...nonetheless she met Mr. Harry Styles. One of the members of the biggest boy band, One Direction. She knew exactly who he was, especially since he was sexualized by the media too often at an early stage of his career. She knew his first solo album was a hit and that in her job description, she had to be present at every interview he had. She also knew that the ring on his finger was a symbol of love for his wife that he married a year ago. 
Months on end, she barely spoke to him. She was shy -feeling as if her personality would bore Mr.Styles. One night however as the team went out to celebrate his last show for live on tour, he himself invited her. 
They were at a club in New York -A very private one to be exact when Harry found himself too interested in the quiet intern. To be honest, his life at home (when he was there) wasn’t what he planned for. His wife was too busy, only fighting him whenever he stepped foot inside. She barely had any more interests in his music or his life -and suddenly, it felt like two strangers living in that mansion. It wasn’t an excuse for him to keep glancing at the girl as she danced with her co-workers nor was it an excuse for him to buy her a drink. Funny enough, he always thought of himself as a hopeless romantic since he was waiting for that particular someone to love him back once again and save his marriage. But before he could stop himself, he was already walking towards the girls dancing on the floor and getting to know them.
After that night at the club, Y/N felt different towards Mr. Styles. Of course, she was still intimidated but she now knew him on a more personal level, leading her to call him Harry instead. That night as they sat in one the booth upstairs, she listened to his jokes and stories and it made her start to have a little crush on him. But hey, he was married and she would never want to ruin a relationship. 
As her days became busier at Columbia -sorting papers and running for Coffee, She always glanced at the elevator hoping Harry Styles would come out and was in need of a conversation with Rob in person. She knew he probably called her boss though the phone but her brain was rummaging for ideas why he would start appearing in her life once again. That was until one day she heard Gina and Louise in the staff room during break talking about Harry coming in tomorrow. Boy, did her heart began to beat fast. Maybe, it was manifestation but she was a bit too excited to see him again as it’s been a couple of months since she last saw him. 
~
“Y/N,” Rob calls out for her as he plays with a pen in his hand. “Meet me in the main conference room in five minutes. I need you to note down my meeting today.” He gives her a small smile and quickly walks off. She knew full well that this meeting was about Harry Styles. 
As she sat beside Rob at the long table, she realized that the whole table was filled with people from publicity and other departments. Right in front of her was the man she’s been thinking of, beside him was his manager. It’s not like she was deeply infatuated with him but she did love thinking about his pretty eyes. 
Matter of fact, as she first glanced at him, her eyes already met his. He was smiling and staying quiet as the meeting immediately began but his fingers played with his pen as he watched her. She was too focused on the shittier details of what they were discussing. He wanted to tell her so badly that she didn’t need to write some things down but he was having fun watching her bite her lip in stress. He wasn’t smooth though. Since she was already feeling his gaze burning through her. 
As the meeting went on, Harry became a bit more serious about why he came into the office. They were in the talks of his new second album and now, they had to plan publicity and tour. Some of the staff even asked how his trip to Japan was and although he was so excited to share his fantastic experiences, it was sad to mention how his wife didn’t even bother coming along. 
“Are you not going to say hi to me?” Harry teases Y/N as they’re the last ones to leave the conference room after their long meeting. She had to clean up the table while he chose to sit in his chair, pretending to do important things on his phone. When he waved bye to everyone as they left the room, he pointed at his phone, explaining he needed a few minutes to send “important emails” -he just wanted to catch up with his new friend, Y/N.
“Hi.” She tries her best to act normal and unaffected by his presence. “Sorry, I couldn’t say hi earlier. When Rob said five minutes, I didn’t know the meeting was already taking place.” Harry laughs at her apology since he wasn’t petty at all for her lack of greeting today. 
“I was just teasing. How are you?”
“I’ve been good.” She smiles back at him as she tosses the last remainder of paper cups in the bin. “I think the last time I saw you was last year. Where have you been?”
“Why did you miss me?” He raises his brow as he spins his chair a bit. He gives her a smirk as he watches her lean herself on the table. 
“Just a bit. I loved watching your interviews.” She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms against her chest. “At first I wanted to sleep through them but now I rather go through those back and forth instead of, filling random sheets out for Rob.”
“Heyy, I think I’m pretty interesting during interviews.”
“Oh no! Don’t get me wrong you are! It’s just you have such a raspy voice and you talk so slow! You can literally put me to bed anytime.”
“Am I talking slowly right now?”
“Just a bit. I haven’t seen you in a while. I kind of forgot!” She laughs. “ What else did you do other than Japan? Spent some time with your wife?” Y/N wasn’t going to lie… bringing up his wife kind of made her uncomfortable but she knew this was a good way to get to know him in a friendly way. 
Harry couldn’t help but give out a humourless scoff as he rests his head back on the chair. His eyes, however, meet her’s again. She couldn’t help but watch his adam’s apple bob up and down. 
“Marriage is hard you know. If I’m being honest with you, I haven’t spoken to her in a week. She’s been on vacation, travelling in Europe I think with her best friends.”
“She’s a model, right? She must have a lot of free time. I’m sure she can make space for you.” Harry slaps his knee in sarcastic humour as he shakes his head at Y/N’s innocent idea of who his wife truly is now. “I’m sorry. I guess it’s more complex than I thought. I haven’t really been in a relationship at least a long term one.”
“Are you free tonight?” Harry asks her out of the blue.
“Yes.” 
“Can I come over? We don’t need to do anything but I would love to hang out with you and I don’t know... forget I have all these responsibilities.”
“Sure.” What Y/N didn’t know that this night would forever change her relationship with Harry.
~
It was late in the night as Harry sat on Y/N’s couch talking to her about everything. His life, his career, his marriage. Usually, it wasn’t easy for him to open up so quickly to a stranger but for some odd feeling, his gut was telling him that he could trust this pretty girl beside him. It’s like he knew she was trustworthy and non-judgemental. 
Ever since he first noticed her during his meetings, he found himself involuntarily glancing at her. That was until he grew some balls and invited her to his after-party. Maybe, He did find her pretty and a bit too hot but even if his marriage is going through the rocks, he did not want to cheat. He didn’t want to be that type of guy. Yet during his time in Japan, he found himself thinking of what would happen if he was single right now? Would he actually make a move on her?
“What are you thinking of?” The same woman calls him out as she takes a swing of the wine bottle into her mouth. 
Yes, the found themselves enjoying Harry’s expensive red wine so now they’re passing the bottle. 
“You.” He was a bit tipsy and so was she but they were still sober enough to choose their words properly. 
“Me? Why me? Why not that hot model you call your wife.”
“She left my mind before I even met you.”
“Yet you’re still with her. Why?”
“I don’t know.” He looks at her as he takes a sip of wine. 
“Okay, so why are you thinking of me? Are you happy you have a new friend?” Her cheeks were very red at his confession but she was trying to make herself believe it was because of the alcohol. 
“I’m happy that I finally got to know the girl who sat quietly in the corner during my interviews.” He smirks at her as he watches her try to hide a smile. 
“I was intimidated by you!” 
“Why was that, love?” Y/N was not expecting him to call her that. She places the almost empty wine bottle on her coffee table and sits back in her same position as she’s wrapped in the same blanket Harry is.  
“You’re Harry Styles. Every woman is head over heels for you and Every man wants to be you.”
“Are you head over heels for me?” Harry squints his eyes as he says the first thing that comes out of his mouth. It wasn’t his intention to flirt with her but they both knew they had overpowering chemistry. The only thing holding them back is well… Harry’s marriage. 
“No.” She bluffs. He continues to look at her. “Fine, a bit but you’re married so I know how to control myself.” 
“What happens If I can’t?” his tone drops as he mumbles to himself. “I’m sorry what?” Y/N chokes as she looks at him. 
“I know I’m married fuck.” He sits up and rubs his face in frustration. “It’s just I never wanted a girl so bad after my marriage. I shouldn’t! I should be happily married but for some shit reason, I can’t get my mind off of you.”
“Harry, there’s consequences about what we’re talking about right now.” Y/N sits up as well as she watches him. Does it still count as cheating if his wife is barely in his life anymore? 
“I know. I’m sorry. I know you aren’t that type of girl. I would never disrespect you like this. I should leave.” He begins to stand up immediately. Y/N says nothing as she follows him to the front door of her apartment. 
“Thank you for coming, Harry.” She opens the door to let him out. He simply nods as he walks past her through the door. As she watches him walk down her hallway, she closes the door. How was she feeling? Well, she was trying her best to not feel regret but instead relief. She leans her body on the wooden surface, trying to make herself feel happy that nothing happened between them -Yet her heart was beating too fast for a guy she had just met.
The loud pounding on her door, however, makes her head shut up. She immediately opens it to find no one other than the curly-haired man who had just left her apartment a minute ago.
He immediately grasps her face into his hands as he kisses her eagerly, making her shut the door behind him. His body quickly pushing her’s against the wall, as his lips attack her jaw down to her neck. Her hands resting on his shoulders as she leans her head back to give him more area to leave his soft licks and kisses. 
“Shit Y/N. You’re making me go crazy.” 
“Harry.” She moans as he rubs himself against her centre. He whispers a command to her, making her jump and wrap her legs around his waist and he carries her to the first surface in his line of sight, which is her dining table. It was a dark wood wooden table that was meant only for eating purposes.
He helps her take off the sweater she was wearing as she throws it behind it her without a care. With her hand, she guides his mouth back to hers, making them both moan as this sexual tension is finally being relieved. Her nipples became hard in an instant as they felt the cold temperature. 
“Where’s your bedroom?” He pulls away as he’s unbuttoning his shirt. His mouth was open a little bit from their heated makeout and his lips were juicy pink after kissing her. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. 
“You want to fuck me right here?” Y/N blurts. She wasn’t the type to have sex with a new partner for the first time on her dining table but her room was a mess and she was a bit shy letting him in there. 
“Are you that eager baby?” A smirk plays on his lips as he tosses his shirt. “Well If you’re that needy, why won’t you take off my pants?” Y/N’s cheeks turn red as she reaches forward to unbuckle his jeans. “You know, how fucking long I’ve been jerking off with my right hand?” Harry asks as his hand runs through her soft hair, letting his thumb rub against her pink plump lips. 
“For a long time, Daddy?” She murmurs against the pad of his thumb as she lets his thumb enter her wet mouth. 
“Look at you, you’re a little devil.” Harry pushes his pants off until they reach mid-thigh. He quickly helps her out of her tights, pulling them off her almost instantly that she had to hold onto him. “Should I get a condom?” He pants as his hands involuntarily run themselves against her soft thighs.
“I’m on the pill and I’m clean.”
“I’m clean too.” He looks down at her closed legs as he pumps himself a bit. “I promise.” Y/N nods as her hands guide his body back closer towards her.
 “Be a good girl and spread your legs for me.” He whispers as he watches her show him her wet needy sex. “Fuck, you look so good right now.” He leans in to kiss her more. His mouth going south as they reach her breast. His mouth sucks on her nipple as the other grabs and rolls her the other one.
“Fuck stop teasing me. I need you.”
“Beg for me, Y/N. I know you want to.”
“Harry please!” She feels his hand directing his wet cock to her centre. Teasing her and playfully slapping her entrance. “Daddy!” His eyes immediately stop looking down as he grabs her hair, making her look at him. 
“You okay with this love? Do you like it rough?” Y/N nods her head as she stares into his eyes. 
“I need you to use your words, baby.”
“Yes, I want it rough.” 
“What did you call me earlier?” A cheeky smile forms on his face as he watches this little girl about to crumble in his hand. 
“Daddy.”
“You’re going to keep calling me that or what?”
“Only if you want me-” Harry inserts himself in her, making her choke on her sentence. 
“What do you call me?” He leans a bit further downs so their bodies rub against each other as his arm supports her back while the other hand chokes her neck. 
“Daddy! Fuck, I call you daddy!” 
“I know I’ve been deprived of some good sex but you feel so fucking tight! Do guys not know how to fuck you?”
“Only you can.” Harry pulls his hand away from her neck and instead grasps her face so she can watch their centres connecting. 
“You like that view? Is it turning you on? You’re fucking clenching me, baby!”
“Harder, daddy.” Her arm wraps around his shoulder as he pulls away and turns around, making her bend on the table.
“You want it harder baby? I’m going to fuck you so hard, you’ll never be able to sit at this table without remembering how I fucked you so good.”
~ The day after their first time sleeping with each other scared Y/N. As much as she tried to avoid letting Harry see her messy room, they ended up in there anyway. They participated in a couple more rounds and a deep conversation too until they fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms. 
What Y/N was scared of was how Harry would react when he woke up in her sheets. Of course, they weren’t too drunk last night but the alcohol did give them a confidence boost. Now it’s the day time and they have to deal with this new boundary they had just crossed. 
“Good morning.” A raspy voice speaks up as she sets her head on her hand. Her elbow putting all its pressure on her pillow while she watches the man who’s laying on his stomach smile at her.
“Hi.” She gives a soft smile back. Harry immediately notices the hickeys on her neck, making him not guilty but a bit more proud.
“I marked you.” Y/N’s eyes widen as she sits up and wraps her hands around her neck. “Why you don’t like them?” Harry fixes his position too so he can rest his back against the headrest. He rubs his eyes for a few seconds before helping her straddle his waist. “What’s wrong, Baby?”
“You’re married.” Her finger mindlessly traces one of the sparrows on his chest. 
“I know.”
“You think she’ll get mad?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think she cares.”
~ Y/N and Harry’s affair went on for months that they even reached his tour and new album reveal. Although they never said the three most important words, Y/N already knew it was there.
What she loved the most these past months with Harry was their privacy.  The secret hookups in changing rooms, the knowing glances in a room full of strangers, and their affectionate touches when they had to pass things to one another in front of her boss. 
She knows he’s married and there was no doubt, they fought about his relationship status. But Harry explained that divorces in Hollywood were more complex than for a regular couple. And while Y/N pretended to understand, she truly didn’t. She didn’t understand why he had to keep up this act of being in a happy relationship when he can simply leave his wife -not for her benefit but for his own happiness. Still, every time this fight occurred, they chose to sweep it under the rug. Maybe it was because she wasn’t ready to lose him. He had always been so persistent on his reasoning why he’s been delaying that action. She was scared that he would leave her during another fight only to run back to his wife. What she didn’t know was that she may be a bit too right, after all, he wasn’t ready to admit that his marriage was over. 
“Hi, Baby!” Y/N opens her door to find her “boyfriend” with a bouquet of flowers. 
“Hi!” She wraps her arms around him in a hug as she lets him enter her apartment that they know too well. If she had to be truly honest... despite having so much alone time with Harry, she’s never been on a date with him but you know -that’s something she had to let go when she decided to get involved with a famous married man. Yet it still didn’t stop her heart from feeling envious when she would be in the restaurant with her friends watching a random couple have dinner together.
Harry takes his hood off and hands her the flowers. “I’m sorry I couldn’t text you this past couple of days. You know that woman who lives with me.” He sighs and gives her a kiss on the lips before continuing on, “We were having lunch together and she noticed I wasn’t wearing my ring anymore so we fought.”
“So you’re wearing it.” Y/N places the flowers on the table and crosses her arms.
“I have too.”
“No, you don’t Harry. She’s only wearing her’s for show. You’ve been cheating on her for seven months!” Y/N snaps at him. She hated it when he wore his ring. It was just a real sign that maybe he was lying to her during the times, he said he was over their marriage and he was going to leave her when things become less complicated.
“Baby, hey stop yelling.” He walks towards her so he can wrap his arms around her. “I’m sorry. You know I care so much about you. Please don’t cry.”
“I can’t stand that you’re married to another woman. Please leave her Harry.” Y/N pulls away as she holds onto his shoulders, begging him. “Please.”
“I’ll try.” He breathes out.
“You’ll try?” She pulls away immediately looking at him. “What do you mean? Have you not been trying to do that these past few months!” He rubs his face in frustration. 
“It’s hard Y/N. I told you countless times.” “I know it’s hard but what’s stopping you from doing it! You told me that you don’t want to lose me but for some odd reason, it seems like you don’t want to lose her!”
“She was my first love Goddammit!” He finally yells back at her. 
And that's the thing about illicit affairs
And clandestine meetings and stolen stares
They show their truth one single time
But they lie and they lie and they lie
A million little times
 They both found themselves caught off guard as the silence screamed in their ears. How could this safe space where they spent their nights rolling in the sheets feel so… indifferent? “Harry please be 100 percent honest with me.” Y/N backs away slowly as she reaches a few feet apart from Harry. “Do you want to leave her?” 
Silence.
“You told me you did? Did you change your mind?” Her eyes widen as she watches the man in front of her absolutely speechless. “I’d punch you, but that would ruin that pretty little face of yours.” She lets out a sarcastic laugh. 
“I didn’t mean for this to happen.”  He stares at the ground with his hands in his jeans. “Of course, I want to leave her! It’s just-”
“Leave.”
“What Baby no!” He quickly looks up and tries to make his way towards her. 
“Harry, stop. What we have is over! I’m not going to let you use me until your stupid sick marriage fixes itself!”
“Y/N that wasn’t my intention I swear! You know what marriage means to me! I can’t simply-”
“Fuck what you think of marriage! You don’t want to leave her but you rather continuously hide me while you go to awards with her -While you go on fucking dates with her!”
“It’s for publicity-”
“I don’t care!” She screams. “I realized that this isn’t working out and we should stop!” The pressure in her chest was making her hyperventilate. “We should have stopped months ago!”
“Fuck I don’t want to lose you, please. You’re the only thing that’s been making me so happy.” He reaches out to take her hands but she simply pulls away.
“Harry! Listen to yourself! You’re married! I’m starting to think you have a fear of having a failed marriage like your mom and dad! But please for the love of God, don’t drag me around because I won’t let you!” Harry’s faces change into anger as he gives her a cold look.
 “Well don’t drag my parents’ marriage into this! I told you that because I trusted you not so you can use it against me!”
“That’s not what I was trying to do!” Y/N pleads. “You won’t lever her Harry! You won’t!” 
“How do you think people will react!” He gestures with his hands. “ After three years of marriage, Harry Styles is getting divorced!” He mimics a random news reporter.
“So-” “I’m not going to let myself be categorized under Hollywood’s failed marriages!” “It was already failing before you met me! Can’t you see I just want you to be happy!”
“I am happy when you’re with me!”
“Well, I’m not!”
“You don’t mean that.” Harry scoffs as he runs his hand through his hair in frustration. 
“How can I not? I’m hearing stories every day about your fights at home. This isn’t even a relationship Harry! It’s an affair! An illicit one! And I-I’m a secret!”
“I don’t want to share you with the public! They will judge us and they’re going to ruin you as they ruined me!” He rambles on. “I’ve been stalked and judged for things I didn’t know matter!” 
“I would rather go through that with you -than to watch you from far away and only have you with me when we’re here inside this apartment.” She points at the floor. 
“I can’t Y/N. I can’t let that happen and I won’t.”
“Then this is over then.” She quickly wipes her tears as she notices Harry doing the same. The yelling seemed to die down as they finally realized that this problem they tried to ignore wasn’t going anywhere.
“You know… for some reason, you taught me a lot of things.” Harry clears his throat as he wipes his wet palms on his pants. “Despite only letting you have one half of me. You somehow took over my whole mind. God, I would love to fight for you Y/N.” He looks at her as he feels tears forming in his again. “I do - I truly would.” A pause happens before he continues, “ For you, I ‘d ruin myself a million times but I would never let you do the same.” He emphasizes to her. “ I don’t want to let you go but I know I should because even if I go get that divorce, I’d still want to keep you as my secret -and that’s not what you want.” 
“I-” Y/N stops herself. She wanted to tell him that she loves him but she knew it wouldn’t help them at all. “I’ll still see you for a while. After my internship though, I’ll be gone.”
“Do you think we’ll stay in touch.”
“I don’t think we should.” She blurts it out as her eyes glance at the fresh bouquet sitting on her table. 
“Alright. I guess that’s it.” Harry sniffles a bit before walking to the door. “I’ll see you.”
“Goodbye.”
And Y/N thought she wouldn’t have to see him again after her internship. Although her heart was broken, she found herself counting the days until she can find a new job. After their unexpected ending, she no longer found herself lonely in the mornings but during the nights too. 
The days he came by the office were more difficult than she thought. She would still feel his gaze on her during their meetings but he no longer greeted her nor gave her any attention. He would walk right past her desk when he visited the office but he would act as if he never knew her in the first place - Not a glance or a wave. 
And that was fine with Y/N, at least she tried her best to think it was. Until her meeting with Rob a week before Harry’s album release. 
~
“Y/N, I would love to offer you a job here at the company. I  will give you a position in Marketing for Harry Styles.” Rob hands her a manila folder across the table. “ You know a few months ago, he spoke about your hard work and how much potential you have and he’s right. This would look great on your resume and the pay will be better here than if you were to start off at another company.” 
Days of thinking and non-stop anxiety flooded Y/N’s mind. She knew her plan was to cut all ties with the pop star but the career that had just been handed to her had so much potential. Potentiality can help her with her student loans and give her a more comfortable life. She would be stupid if she passed the offer because of him. So with no more hesitation, she took her phone and called Rob.
“I’ll take the job offer.”
Part two here!!
2K notes · View notes
barzzal · 3 years
Text
who’s the girl, barzy?
summary: mat gets caught up and preyed by the press as he does a post-game exclusive with the boys.
↳ pairing: mathew barzal x you
↳ warnings: boyfriend barzy getting all smitten
↳ genre: fluff, established relationship
↳ length: imagine; 1.4k
↳ masterlist: the barn
note: omg my first barzal fic i hope y’all would like it. pls do let me know what you think so i could get better!! also, thank you @matbaerzal for answering my ask before and for being so nice! i rly appreciate it :)) hope you like !
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It wasn’t until after the game that a couple of sport analysts cornered the boys in the locker room, eager to get a piece from them about the heated game they just had with the Flyers.
The questions were all being thrown at Jordan and Tito for a few minutes before it went sideways when Mat excused himself to answer a call from you.
You were already heading your way out the lounge when you called him. You didn’t want to disturb anything now that you know how stressed he gets whenever he’s in a match. He zones out pretty hard that’s why you tend to keep your distance and respect him by cheering him outside the rink. 
You love it anyway, maybe a little more than you actually love him. Fine, that was a little too much, but that’s how it is. To see Mat grace the rink and be the person he was meant to, it was, indeed, everything you could ever ask for him. 
“So, Mat, we’ve been hearing a lot of rumors going around outside the boy’s locker room.”
His teammates begin to laugh. Evidently teasing the now smitten Barzal, whose cheeks are much reddened that it usually was. 
The two of you have gone out for only a few months and you both haven’t made it official. Not that it was important but Mat did like the idea of your name attached to his. 
He ran his hand through his pitch black hair as he let out a nervous laugh. “I suppose those are the good kind?” 
“Shouldn’t you be the one answering that?” The reporter asks again. 
“We might’ve seen you with a certain someone strolling around Manhattan days before the big game.” 
Tito taps Mathew’s shoulder, nudging him on his side like two teenage boys getting all giddy by the mere thought of a girl agreeing to go with them for the snow ball. 
“They know it, barzy.” Tito teases further, earning a scoff from Mat. 
“Shut up.” He says, stifling what he truly feels. 
“Come on, Mat. You can tell them.” Jordan says, adding up to the banter going around the room. 
Mathew can’t help but smile as he thinks of you waiting for him outside. He wanted to wrap the interview as quickly as possible but if it means that he gets to finally talk about you publicly, enough for the whole world to see; letting a few minutes of his time would be pretty much worthier compared to the number of tedious interviews he’s already done since he started playing. 
“Well, er- her name’s y/n.” Mat starts with a warm smile spread on his lips.
“And she’s really amazing. I mean— I can’t even put it into words but she’s really special to me.” 
Tito fakes a cough, chiding a comment underneath. “Caller. Call her.” 
The reporters were quick to notice what Tito had said so they were immediately caught up on that bit of information. After all, they’re all up whatever Mathew has going on. So, the mere thought of Mathew Barzal dating? That’s big news.
“Was she the one who called earlier?” They ask to confirm.
To which Mat only nods as an answer. 
“Why don’t you call her, Maty?” Jordan teases, using the name you frequently call him when you’re left alone in the room. Unfortunately, on one of those times, Jordan was nosy enough to catch the two of you in deep of each other’s presence, calling each other by their respective pet names. 
The others began to cheer and join in the banter upon seeing Barzal hide his undeniable shyness from the camera. 
“See? We’ve finally got a lover boy!” Tito rolls his eyes, mocking his best friend’s predicament.
“What’s the real score though? You know you’re gonna answer it anyway.” 
Truth be told, you and Mat have never discussed anything that’ll lead to this question. The answer of who you both were in each other’s lives in particular. Mat is special to you, yes. It obviously goes the same for him as well but Mat, despite being a man whose calculations have been as precise as every goal he had done, couldn’t bring himself to ask you who he really was in your life.
‘“We haven’t talked about that part.” He shortly says, scratching on his eyebrow to mask his growing uneasiness. 
“You can talk to her now.” Jordan suggests.
“That’s… interesting.” Tito arches a brow and throws his arm over Mat’s shoulder. 
“You’d go on about this forever, huh?” Mat shakes his head. Admittedly wanting to do it himself despite all the teasing his mates were throwing at him since a while ago. 
𖥸
With crossed legs and a hand on your chin, you were in no doubt beginning to grow bored of waiting for Mathew. People were walking past you already for about half an hour when you noticed that Mathew and the boys were being interviewed on the screen. You took your airpods off and decided to tune in.  
The boys were laughing at Mathew who was now busy typing on his phone, all smiles as he glanced between it and the people watching him. 
When your phone starts to ring and you see Mat’s caller ID flash on the screen, you assume that he wasn’t typing and doing some silly dare the boys talked him into doing. But why was he calling you when he was still in an interview anyway?
Wait, was that what this is about?
You were hesitant to pick up the call as there were a few people in the lounge but you did it anyway. You just have to hope that Mat knew what he was doing because if he’s ever going to play you like how he messes with his teammates, he’s definitely gonna hear an earful.
“Hi.” You quietly greet him, cautious people might begin looking towards where you’re seated. 
“Hey.” Mat greets you back at the other end. You see his wide smile upon hearing you answer.
“Where are you right now?” He starts to ask. Knees jumping up and down, letting you know that he was starting to grow anxious. 
“Uh- just, just outside. You know, where I’m usually at after the game.” You nervously laugh, afraid that by telling him where you actually are in front of everyone watching would only cost you attention you most certainly were not ready for. 
“Alright, I just wanted to ask you something.” He starts, a smile still evident on his lips. 
“Couldn’t it wait ‘til after your interview?” 
“Well, It can. But I don’t think I’d have enough courage to ask. You know how nervous I get around you.” He chuckles. The sound you most absolutely love. 
“M’kay then, what is it?”
You see him share one last look with the boys before he clears his throat as he finally asks you the one thing he’s been dying to know ever since you two had gone much exclusive. 
“Beau’s been dying to know—” Mat jokes when Tito cuts him off, “That’s not me, y/n! It’s all him!” 
You suppress a laugh whilst watching them clash on screen. The sight wasn’t new to you so you’d figure it wouldn’t harm to join the friendly banter going on live from the boy’s locker room. 
“Why Beau? He already knows.” You bite your lower lip trying to remain calm and easy as you watch him act like a 15-year-old boy getting a girlfriend for the first time. 
Mat’s eyes widened upon hearing what you said on speaker. Tito, however, despite having that conversation with you, only shrugged and acted like he didn’t know what you were talking about. 
Jordan leans on the phone and says, “Just ask her, maty.”
You were quick to bury your face in your palm. Jordan continues to goof off and taunt the young lad. 
Mathew rolls his eyes, which was unfortunately caught on cam, as he shifts his angle a little to the left to give himself the privacy that’s been long gone the moment he agreed on calling you live. 
“What am I? I mean… are we—” 
“Are we, you know?” 
Mathew massages his nape, exasperated after realizing the mistake he had done not thinking things through just in case you were going to say no. Nonetheless, just like what he does for a living, he decides to just shoot for it and hope he’d get the goal he’s gonna be known for for a while.
“Let’s date. Like for real. What do you think?” He asks. Cheers loud and clear on the set. 
“I thought you’d never ask, Barzy.”
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miss-ali-lawliet · 3 years
Note
Heyy!! I was wondering if you could do a L x reader where the reader gets killed by Kira because they were involved with L. If you aren’t confortable writing this it’s ok! Thank you~
Hello Anon and thank you for the request!! I'm comfortable with it and even though I'd rather see L being happy, I am a sucker for angst. So hopefully I do this justice!
Also note I have rewritten this way too many times to count 😭 I really tried my best, but I'm so sorry this took so long! Also there was technically two requests asking for the same sort of thing. I’ll get to the next headcanons as soon as I can, but hope whoever is reading this had a great day/night wherever you are!
CW: Death, angst, fluff, kind of long
It was yet another normal day for the genius detective who called himself L. He had spent a majority of the day working with the task force members on the Kira case, mainly in monitoring the cameras inside the task force headquarters as well. It wasn't just the task force and Watari he was working with though, he also had the person he called his partner, in both work and romantically. 
Being in a relationship was obviously nothing he sought out or even bothered thinking about as he grew up, mainly finding himself way too focused with his work. He never thought of himself as someone to ever be with someone romantically and it was something he didn't feel sad about, he just didn't see the point in such a matter and didn't have the time for it. Yet that all changed when you entered his life. 
You were something he never expected. You came in and even though he may have tried to ignore you or treat you as he would with any person he would meet, you were different. You had met him years before the Kira case and made it clear that you simply wished to be by his side no matter what. Something he never understood, but never doubted as you had proven to him time and time again how loyal you were and that no matter the challenge, you would conquer them together. 
So he has asked you to work with him behind the scenes and you accepted. It seemed to have worked out very well too, as you had remained at his side unknown to the rest of the world just how he planned. It seemed like no case could do anything to knock either of you down, and L had even asked for you to move in with him. It was great, and it felt like you two could handle anything together. 
Then Kira came to be. 
L didn't want you to get involved at first, but once again your stubborn nature would prevail.
"If you have to risk your life by going to Japan, I will do the same. I will not stand by and let you do this alone!" 
It was one of the things you said, and it was the main thing that stood out to him and at that point he knew you wouldn't back down. So he agreed, letting you join him and Watari in going to Japan to help with the Kira case.
L snapped out of any thoughts he had when his lover moved up from where they laid, getting into a sitting position and resting their head against his arm gently. 
"Is something the matter?" He found himself asking, raising a brow as he glanced over at them. 
"Of course not, me wanting to be close to you isn't a bad thing" they would chuckle, moving a bit closer to the detective as he couldn't really argue with that. 
"I can tell there's a lot on your mind though, and I wish I could do more than just let you get lost in your work." His partner would frown as their gaze looked up at him a bit more. 
L would stare at them for a couple moments, it wasn't surprising that they'd take notice of his behavior after all. If it wasn't Watari catching on to how he might be feeling, it was his darling instead. 
"Well I'd rather get as much done with the Kira Case as possible… but if you had to decide on what I should do instead, what would it be?" He'd respond in his usual calm manner, wondering to see how they'd respond and it seems they knew right away.
"Easy, I'd want you to take a break." 
"You know that could be a bad ide-" he would start but you quickly cut him off.
"It's never a bad idea to take some time to take care of yourself and recharge, so when you go back to working you'll feel even better." They must have been thinking of this for a while with how fast they knew how to react to his statements. 
"I appreciate the thought Y/N, but-" He would begin, but they'd simply shake their head as they turned so they were sitting on their knees facing them. 
"I've already discussed this with Watari, and even he agreed a small break could be beneficial for you and the case. It won't be long, maybe a day at least or something.. like tomorrow for example." 
Of course Watari would go on their side, what a traitor, but honestly a small break didn't sound too awful. 
"Hm.. what would I even do on this break?" Inquired the messy haired man. 
"I was thinking that me and you could just spend some time together and do whatever we want that doesn't deal with the case…" his partner would begin to say, looking up at him with an almost longing sort of way. "It's been awhile since we've been able to do that sort of thing." 
"... That is true." L paused for a few moments, his work centered mind battling the other half that wanted to spend as much time as possible with the person he loved. "I have missed spending more time with you like that.."
Y/N would give him a soft smile as they scooted closer, moving his laptop slightly off to the side of his knees as they tested their hand on top of them instead.
"So is that a yes to the break for tomorrow?" They'd ask, leaning up a bit towards L who at this point had moved the laptop off of his lap completely and to the side of the bed so he could have his focus on them. 
"Mhm, it seems you know what's best for me after all" he'd say with a soft chuckle as his lips curled up into a soft smile. 
His lover's eyes would light up as their smile widened as they moved closer, putting L's knees down so they weren't too close to his chest. 
"I'd like to say so at least" they'd say in a playful and low tone as they moved as close as they could without being on his lap. 
Their face soon being inches away from his own to the point they felt each other's breaths mingle together. Soon enough the space between them disappeared as they couldn't hold back and kissed the dark haired detective. It was soft and warm before they found themselves deepening it, as if showing how much they both longed to just be together. L would bring a hand up to cup their cheek gently as they kissed for what he wished could last longer, but they pulled away after a couple of moments.
His partner's gaze remained on his face, chuckling softly as they leaned in and hugged him tightly. L would accept it as they ended up on his lap so he could hold them better. He rested a hand on their back as his other ran through their hair gently. 
"I can't wait for tomorrow" they'd say in an excited whisper, causing him to chuckle. 
"I can't wait either, I can already tell it's going to be more than worth it." L would say in an almost purr as he rested his eyes, them both snuggling together more, enjoying the closeness and warmth. 
"I love you." His partner would say softly, their chin resting on him and their voice sounding as if they were getting ready to drift away into a nice sleep in his arms. 
"I... you too..." He would reply a little hesitantly as he rubbed their back gently, listening to their heartbeat and steady breathing as their grip remained around him. The word love was something he had trouble with saying, as it was something he wasn't sure if he fully understood, but even if he couldn't say the word just yet, Y/N understood and seemed content nonetheless. 
They would continue to enjoy their silence together, it was peaceful and just felt perfect. A great way to end a day and get ready for the day they looked forward to together. L wasn't someone who looked forward to the days to come too much as he had his focus on work to the point where he'd lose track of time, but when it came to Y/N, he felt like he could truly experience normalcy for once. He had so much to look forward to, even if he wasn't really sure what that was yet. It felt like a fairytale he read once, where even through the rough times the two love interests would get through it together to have their happy ending. 
Unfortunately, this wasn't a fairytale. 
After what must have been around 5-10 minutes, when L had found himself beginning to drift off himself something changed. Something he could have predicted, but with the circumstances this was something he hoped would just never happen throughout the case, something he had tried to prevent with all of his safety precautions. It seemed as if he hadn't done enough though. 
The grip from his partner's would suddenly tighten as their heart rate would increase and their breathing hitched, making them let out a gasp. L jumped a little at their actions, his eyes shooting open as he turned his gaze towards them. 
"Y/N?? What's wrong?" He'd ask immediately, looking at them as their grip on them began to loosen more and more as their head slumped down as if they were on the verge of falling asleep still. 
L didn't know why at first but he felt dread creep up on him as his heartbeat began to race. Then he remembered people like Lind L Tailor who had a similar reaction, right before he.. no. No. His mind felt like it was beginning to buzz as he kept denying that possibility, repeating his partner's name as he raised their head to look at him. 
Their gaze wasn't anything like earlier. The light and all the warmth they had, how L could tell how they felt with a simple look, was gone. It seemed almost glazed over, distant, and any form of light was gone and dull as they stared up at him. 
Many questions went through the man's mind, how did Kira find out about them? How did they find out their name?? Did he know their connection to him?? What went wrong??? Yet his thoughts were torn from the questions as his dearest would groan softly in pain. They still could react which meant this wasn't some ordinary heart attack like Kira's last victims, perhaps there was a way to save them. 
"Y/N?? I know you can hear me, please say something-" L would begin but he knew that if Kira had gotten to them that his time was limited and that he had to act fast. He moved over to his phone, pressing a button that would contact Watari or any of the task force members. 
"Watari!" L began, his usual calm tone beginning to show some sort of panic as he spoke into the device, demanding that the older man or any of the members get in her to help. He didn't have much time to say a lot, just saying that you were hurt as needed medical attention as soon as possible. He didn't want to even bring up the name of the bastard that he knew was behind it, simply because a part of him didn't want to believe it even though it was obvious. 
After talking into the device he turned his full attention back onto the person that meant most to him who laid in his arms, their struggled breathing quickly becoming steady but more faint as the minutes passed. They stared up towards him with their lost gaze.
"Hold on, Y/N, help is coming.. Just hold on, It'll be okay." L began as he took their hand as all they could do was simply stare at him. 
As they stared and seemed to be struggling against what was happening, their breathing was becoming more faint as tears began to form at their eyes. It seemed that they were unable to speak, every time they opened their mouth to speak, a look of pain washed over them.
"Keep holding on, it'll be okay Y/N.. just keep holding on for me." He tried his best to keep his voice calm, yet as he looked down at them he felt his voice beginning to shake as if he was going to break. 
The fact they haven't died yet felt cruel to the man who held his lover, as if Kira was doing this on purpose somehow. As if they didn't deserve the mercy of having a quick and painless death in comparison to last criminals. This was a way for Kira to get back at L directly, and it was working unfortunately. 
L frowned, wiping their tears with one hand quickly before he checked their pulse. It was slowing down. No.. no, this can't be happening. This had to be some sort of cruel nightmare, something that wasn't unusual for him, but he knew that wasn't the case here. Watari soon arrived in the room with Soichiro and the other members, who looked like they wanted to help yet as Watari went over to L and Y/N, they had a feeling that there wasn't much they could do anyways.
As the pulse began to slow down and their breathing began to sound more forced as they struggled to speak and breathe normally, but under the influence of Kira it was impossible. There wasn't much time left, Watari knew this and so did L. They all knew that the fate of Y/N was in the hands of Kira and he had chosen to make their last moments something for the others involved to remember, as if it was a warning. 
L watched their expression as Watari tried to do what he could to keep her awake, which wasn't a whole lot unfortunately. His hand was still on their pulse as it slowed down even more. L couldn't stand this. He kept speaking to Y/N, no.. at this point it was more of a plea. Begging for them to keep going, yet as he saw how much they were suffering he wondered if it would be better if Kira could just end their suffering once and for all, which hurt him to even think about in the first place as he still was in denial about the situation. 
It couldn't end like this. He had promised to keep them safe, but he had failed them. Yet they had a peaceful look on their face as they smiled, as if they had accepted it. They began to open their mouth again, and even though they couldn't actually speak it was easy for L to see what they were mouthing. It was them saying that they loved him, and the more he thought about it, it seemed as if this was what they were trying to say this whole time. 
"I.. I love you too…" He found himself finally saying. The phrase he struggled saying fully and the one time he can actually say it was when they were being taken away from him. What type of cruel joke was this? 
His lover's eyes began to close, the smile on their face beginning to slowly fade. He held them close, fighting back any sort of emotion as he could hear their heart beginning to beat slower and slower.. until it finally stopped completely. 
"She's gone." Was all Watari said softly, mainly to the other members who had remained silent. 
The shock of the situation had made it hard for any of them to react, not sure what to say or do, especially when it came to L who went dead silent. It was as if they were all trying to figure out what to do next, but no one seemed to know the answer at that moment.
What happened afterwards was a blur for L as he held them close, all he remembered was Watari announcing it in the room and the rest of the world around him became fuzzy. The person who was teaching him how to love and loved him full heartedly, the one person who he had let in to see a side of L that no one else dared to bother with, was now gone. Kira had taken them away from him. 
He didn't know how it happened, yet he knew it had to be his fault. If he had been more careful, they would have most likely been fast asleep together to prepare for their break the next day. His chest ached as if he himself was having a heart attack of some sort, and a part of him would have preferred that then the pain that seemed to consume him. He kept his face down and buried into his partner's shoulder for who knows how long in the silent room. 
He wasn't sure what to do or say as the loss began to wash over the room. Matsuda looked as if he wanted to go over and comfort him, but even he knew that wasn't the best course of action. So the task force members kept their space, just remaining silent as Watari sat close. After a few moments the older man had waved towards the door, meaning it would be best for them to leave. So they did, leaving L alone with Watari. Soichiro would get in contact with someone to handle Y/N, but they'd all be respectful as L took this time to process everything. 
Watari rested a gentle hand on his shoulder, something L didn't react to at first before he looked up and glanced at Watari, tears had managed to fill his eyes. A sight that wasn't common to say the least. He looked at Watari, as if asking his caretaker what to do next but he gained no answer. Instead Watari just sat beside him with his hand on him gently, a small gesture yet it was something the detective needed. 
~~~
About an hour later, Y/N was taken away and L was left staring blankly out a window. The atmosphere was heavy as the task members haven't said too much to L yet, and when they did it was them apologizing for the loss and trying to show that they cared and were there for him. L didn't respond though, avoiding their gazes almost completely and stayed to himself for the most part. As he stood by himself by the window, Matsuda would find himself walking over finally.
"Ryuzaki…" he'd begin, making his presence known and to see if there was a response but not surprisingly there wasn't. 
"Is there anything we can do tonight?" He asked, frowning as he looked at his feet a little for a few seconds. "Whether it's something for the case or to help you feel better-"
"No." L had finally spoken, cutting off the other male who looked up a bit in surprise. 
"Huh? What do you mean no?" 
"There's nothing we can do at the moment for the case, and there's only one thing that could make me feel better about this situation."
"What is that?" Matsuda asked, yet even he had a feeling what the answer could be. So it didn't surprise him hearing it. 
"Simple. Catching Kira."
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