#eating disorer recovery

[hel7l7]

this fight was never about food

#vent art #venting #mixed media #very old stuff #eating disorer recovery

[futurebird]

Body Types and Personalities

One of the more unshakable ideas that used to drive my eating disordered thinking was the idea that different body types corresponded to different personalities. This is something that's all over mass media-- and often built into the assumptions that we make about each other.

The stereotypes dictated that to be fat was to be sensuous, loving, warm, bouncy, excitable, outgoing, flirtatious, full of life, caring and open. I've used "Hilda" as the distillation of this idea. It wasn't hard for me to think of or find an image that worked. It's not exactly a negative set of associations, but it's still a limiting framework.

To be thin? That was about being cool, calculating, precise, fastidious, reserved, serious, intellectual, calm, observant, cautious and modest. When I went looking for images for this one it was much harder. It turns out I hate how most women are photographed. It's very hard to find an image that isn't just a little sexy. Even this Armani pantsuit one isn't quite right. As a young person I related to the second set of descriptions more-- (And probably still do, although I don't really associate either exclusively with a particular body type anymore.) So, part of what kept my eating disorder going was the sense that I would be misread constantly-- people would think I was a vivacious bubbly sort of person and try to get close to me and that scared me. I thought if I looked more like the sort of person I felt that I was inside maybe this wouldn't happen. The truth is that anyone who knows me IRL would laugh their ass off at the idea of calling me "bubbly" or "outgoing" -- What I thought were instances of people misreading what sort of person I was and getting too close? It was just normal human interactions. Nearly all of my friends have eventually said "When I first got to know you, you seemed really intimidating." -- this has gotten to the point of bothering me a little. I don't want to be... scary. But, I think it's just how I come across since I spent so many years trying *not* to be a "bubbly happy fun" person. Explaining all of this. I'm struck by how odd it must sound. I don't know if this will even be relatable. I had when I started this, some notion of writing about how body types don't really determine these things, and how even in fiction it need not be Hilda or The Pantsuit Queen-- But, is it even a normal thing to worry about? I wonder why it was such a big deal to me all those years ago? Part of the answer might lie in how hard it is to find images that I really admire-- how outside of the popular and the useful this idealization might be. And if I tried to find images of black women? Forget it. I guess I'll just need to make my own.

#ed #eating disorer #recovery #anorexia #body type #cw body image

[xxf4ll3nx4ng3lxx]

My family makes me feel so invalid with my ed. Yesterday my dad found out and he told me that since I ate ribs (which I was originally extremely proud of myself for) I didn't really have an ed and that "every month I have a new disorder" and "it's all in my head". Then my mom told me that the reason I feel gross when I eat is because I only eat unhealthy foods. I don't. I know they're trying to help, but they're doing the opposite.

#fear foods #anamia #ana #mia #ed recovery #it's not as simple as just eating #eating disoder mention #tw ed #ed tw #ed #anorexik #anorekic #anorecya #eating disorer recovery #tw eating disorder mention #anorexia #bulimia #restrictive eating #restrictive ed

[annoyingperson666]

me to myself when i starve again: its you, its you, its all for you.

#ed #eating disorer #eating disoder recovery #tw eating stuff #disordered eating tw #It's not as simple as just eating #soul eater #eating disoder things #anorexik #anorekic #anorektyczki #anorexjc #anorex1c #anoreica #bulimba #buliimix #bullimia #starve #starvee #life quotes #queer

[roseblossoming]

7/9/17

Some positives today:

•morning went a bit like this -- sleepin in, walking the dog in the lovely pre-autumnal weather, eating a good breakfast, and using the loo (woo) (I'm starting to be regular again)

•discovered that if I wear clothes that are truly fitting and my real size, I'll end up much more confident than in clothes far too baggy

•I've been offered a tutoring position and I have an interview this evening, that despite being so nervous about, could really be game changing for me

•got an email from another prospective employer who wants me to start next week and it looks like it's gonna be a great workplace

•now time to grocery shop and relax for the rest of this lovely day til my interview💕💕

#personal #anorexia recovery #anorexiarecovery #ed recovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #eating disorer recovery #mental health

[healthywithgreentea]

{hourly thinspo}

#ana #anabudd #anabuddy #anatrainer #mia #bulimia #thinspo #eating disoder things #eating disoder thoughts #not pro ana #pro recovery #ed #eating disored #binge #skinny #skninni #thinspii

[lplifeblr]

Eating Disorder

Suffering from an eating disorder from a very young age has made it very difficult as an adult to have a good relationship with food. At the age of 8, I was anorexic. Since then, I have been obsessed with my weight, and obsessed with the food I eat. But I must realise my weight doesn't define who I am as a person. Binge eating one day does not make me a bad person - I do not need to starve myself the next day “to make up for it”. I must learn to love food, and to love eating, and one day I know I will. But for now, I must stop obsessing. The pictures on social media aren't real - the average body isn't toned and tiny, and that is ok!

#eating disor #selfhelp #recovery

[sorisikigai-blog]

28.02.2018

So today I had an intensive therapy session. I was inspired by reasoning with F.

We talked about the fact I feel constantly guilty. For everything. Yesterday I freaked out in the library because I bought my too expensive uni books. I feel guilty for eating, for making my parents pay a part of my pole dancing class, for not saying “yes” to my boyfriend when he wants to play and I don’t feel like to.

I reasoned about recognising my needs, that does not mean necessarily to always indulge every single time but finding a balance in between. I feel very detached from myself and my body unfortunately.

I am always giving and never receiving. F. told me that and this is the plain truth. In every thing I do. I developed a thought to kind of counteract this habit (a decennial habit) that is I AM WORTHY of something, it’s not a trade-off, it’s not a shame, I am a human (though I sometimes pretend I am a machine).

Then I chose to look at the mirror and it didn’t go very well, I was horrified by the amount of weight I gained, then F. brought me to reality because we chose to add a little challenge: add a compliment of mine. Man, it was hard. Now I have two cute things on my positive list, but the negative one is a long long paper, hence a long way to go.

#ed recovery #eating disorder recovery #eating disorer #anorexia recovery #edulting #therapy #personal

[eugendes]

Spoiler Alert:  Recovery blows.  Recovery blows like a freaking whale.

But you know what?  The eating disorder is worse.  

#eating disorer #anorexia #ed recovery #i keep having to remind myself of this #edulting #living with mental illness #recovery #hard time #this sucks #i feel like i'm the fattest thing on the planet #they say it gets mentally harder to gain weight every time you have to do it #i beleive it #but anorexia was worse

[blossoming-princess]

Reminder:

Turning to your eating disorder when you’re going through a hard time won’t make things easier for you. It’s not going to solve your problems and you’re not going to be happier just because you’re feeding into the disordered thoughts. 

#mine #ed recovery #ed recovery blog #ednos recovery #ednos recovery blog #EDNOS #anorexia #bulimia #anorexic #bulimic #anorexia nervousa #Anorexia recovery #bulimia recovery #Binge eating disorer #binge eating disorder recovery #positive #positive blog #positive post

[workmoneyfun]

How Eating Disorders Affect Men | Goop | Men have historically been left out of the wider conversation about body image, eating disorders, and recovery—and that comes at a cost. Most of the men and boys who are struggling with an eating disorder are struggling silently, says Gia Marson, EdD, a psychologist who specializes in eating disor...... https://goop.com/wellness/health/eating-disorders-in-men/

[annoyingperson666]

#eating disoder things #eating disorer #eating disoder recovery #aesthetic #depressing quotes #inspiring quotes #funny #life quotes #quoteoftheday #relatable quotes #wlw positivity

[thekittenxwitch]

I forgot how much time/effort eating disorders take up 🙄😩

#eating disorer #ednos #eating disorder relapse #recovery #slipping

[iwishforbones]

I've been accidently losing weight and its so hard not to be happy about it

#ednos #eating disorer #recovery #depression

[recoveryburrito]

Mid day snack while playing some video games. I used to LOVE these bars but didn't eat them for years because I was so fearful of the sugar content. Of course, it's not the best, healthiest option for a snack, but it sounded good to me when I found it in my pantry.

#recovery #ed recovery #eating disorer recovery #fear food #balanced not clean #coffee #mental health #anorexia recovery #recovery food #snack