#even if again I caused it all

[quibbs126]

You know, I’m debating again whether I should stop doing fankids/fan parents

It’s not necessarily because of recent requests or anything, but rather because of a video I was watching yesterday, which was talking about trends and how they kill an artist’s creativity (it was basically about this one MLP episode about Rarity, if that brings more context). And yeah while it wasn’t exactly what I experience, it did speak to me on some level, and it made me think about my requests

Yes I do enjoy doing them, but I wonder if in some way they stifle my creativity, and sometimes I feel more like a factory line pumping them out, even if my frequency of release says otherwise. Also, I feel like it’s lost some of that “magic” that it originally had for me when I first started. I originally started because I really wanted to, since Cookie Run was something that could scratch that old itch of fankids that first came around in my starting days in fandoms that never really left. I asked for ships to do in part because I wasn’t sure what people shipped, other than the popular stuff, and also because I was embarrassed to do it, and thought that doing them by requests would make it less embarrassing. But somewhere along the lines, I lost that and was just kind of doing it because I had to. Some of that magic returned when I decided to start doing fan parents, but then that went away too

I don’t really want to admit it, but I feel like most of it comes from the fact that these are requests, not so much what I want to do, but rather what other people want. But I feel like it’s mean to blame you guys for that. After all, I literally asked for you to send me your ships to do fankids for, you’re just doing what I asked you to do. And what if you just wanted someone to make some sort of content for your ship? And I blame you for that? Not to mention it’s probably given me more knowledge of ships and what people like, or that people tend to be really nice about it in their asks

So one part of me wants to stop so that maybe I can get some creativity back, or that maybe I can regain things that I think I’ve lost while making them this last year. But also another part of me either doesn’t want to, or doesn’t feel like I can

I mean, if I were to close it now and just do whatever requests I still have, that’d still be over half of my total requests I have to do, so it wouldn’t exactly be a solution to the current problem; I’d still be doing old requests for likely over another year based on my track record. I could just say I’m not doing any more, but that wouldn’t be fair to all the people who requested, especially recently (granted it’s not like I’m fair to them with how long they have to wait regardless). Not to mention I still have ideas for some of them that I haven’t finished. And if I only do some of them, what dictates whose gets finished and whose doesn’t? And again, that doesn’t really solve the issue since that’s already what I do, and it’s not really a distinct stopping point

And then there’s the issue of this being most of what I do, making fankids, and again, this being something I enjoy doing. What else am I supposed to draw? You all know I can’t hold an idea for maybe more than a day or two. But I can’t just not draw, it’s what I do and have this need to create. And fankids in general are some of my favorite things to create

And if I really do stop, I’d want to start again with a clean slate, not just pause and start back up again, since that doesn’t change the issue, just pauses it

*sigh* I just don’t know what to do

#I feel like it’s selfish to be like “I want to do what I want and you people ruined what I like to do” #that’s how I feel like I come off here #I mean I was the one who caused it all by asking in the first place #but part of it is that I’m not that interested in some of the requests and I’m doing it bc I have to #yes I can grow to appreciate a fankid and/or ship I’m requested that I initially wasn’t interested in #but it is a case of me doing things out of obligation #even if again I caused it all #I don’t know #cookie run #fankid #fanchild #fan parents #requests #account stuff #I guess?

[knifearo]

i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as a binary i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as a sliding scale of "less" to "more" i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as the only two options i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as significantly different things i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as all encompassing i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as the two halves of a shallow concept of love that doesn't actually encompass anything at all i think we need to overhaul every popular conception about "types" of love so we can talk about things that are real and true for once

#in conclusion. alloromantics stfu up about love challenge #hate using the term platonic so much actually. cause even if it has a definition that is what it Should mean #you know that people don't actually think about it that way. #you say 'platonic' and you might Mean an all-encompassing love. but how it's interpreted is shorthand for 'just friends' #so like. the word platonic isn't Really for me is it :| #platonic gets presented like a consolation prize for aro people no matter where you turn #but fundamentally rn it comes from a concept of platonic and romantic as the two kinds of love #where platonic is for family and friends and nothing More. #and romantic is for the relationships that overhaul all else #so 'aros can still feel platonic love!' ok. what if it's not platonic as you know it though. #'oh then it's romantic!' k but it's not romantic either. will your framework explode if i say that #'aros can still feel platonic love!' why do you say that like it's a second-best option and expect me to identify with it... #again. platonic might Actually mean smth i experience. but it won't be Heard that way. do you get what i'm saying #i don't experience 'platonic blurring into romantic' cause i will never feel romantic love actually. those lines are still blurring though #ummmmm in conclusion. killing and biting #aromantic #aromanticism #aroace #arospec #talking

[dawnatlas]

I really think the damage caused by learning jean had a sister and then 20-odd pages later finding out she's been dead for years while jean was being tortured in a cult is completely unrepairable. ill never stop thinking about them.

they never got to grow up together. she would've been 15 in tsc. hes still a teenager and she never even got to be one. this is the only universe jean didn't kill himself, so it's the only universe he learns about her fate and has to live with that knowledge. FUCK

#i need to draw them again #i know that dead hearts piece caused a lot of damage to yall but im not even near done #i love siblings and all the forms they take #j&e might be one of my favorites yet #all the things they could've had #all the things they'll never have #im insane #ramble #aftg #tsc #tsc spoilers #the sunshine court #jean moreau #elodie moreau

[juaneloriginal]

This is the story of a woman named Mariella

TW: BLOOD AND MISSING ARMS

aaaand a couple doodls

ignorance is bliss

@blackkatdraws

#ignorance is bliss #again #omg a quote that i love so much #and in my headcanon (cause i know very little of her lore) fits her really well #being playful and still smiling after all the horrible things that place is #forgot her red eyes too #there is some symbolism behind that i know it #still smiling even if not genuine after all that it's really interesting #and how she sometimes prefers to take things lightly or as a joke #imo is a coping mechanism #like she chooses to be ignorant to a lot of things #im not sure i think she represents kinda what Stanley can turn like in the future #i could be wrong #i also love how in contrast Stanley is with her #Stanley IS aware #the eyes drawing u did that stanley is the ONLY ONE seeing them #symbolism? idk #canon or not is cool #okay im going insane #tsp stanley #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #tsp fanart #tsp mariella #:3 #tspud #stanley parable #the stanley parable

[emblazons]

"I don't want things to change."

MIKE WHEELER & WILL BYERS IN S03E08 - The Battle of Starcourt

#byler #plot twist: not even one episode later...they did change. And its all Mike 'Panic!at the Airport' Wheeler's fault LMAOOOO #I have no reason for this other than to cause myself pain lmao. BUT ALSO: LET THEM HUG (PROPERLY) AGAIN J F C #mike wheeler #will byers #my gifs #byleredit #bylerdaily #dailystrangerthings #strangerthingsedit #strangersource #tvstrangerthings #strangerthingscentral #tuserrae #stranger things #the me tag #tuseremilia #userelz #tusermaddy

[tentacle-therapissed]

IMO the fanon interpretation of the Dark Sides’ dynamic ignores the fascinating canon implications that they’re more like forced family than anything resembling found family. These are three characters who genuinely do not seem to get along— at the very least, Virgil has made it clear that his function as a Side does not mesh well with either Janus or Remus’s functions, and the moment he saw an opportunity to be accepted by the others he ditched them with absolutely no remorse or lingering attachment. Meanwhile the dubiously canon interactions Janus has with Remus come off as him putting up with Remus’s antics simply because what else is he going to do? The most friendly the two of them ever get is when they’re collaborating to screw with c!Thomas— it’s like they’re coworkers who have nothing else in common besides their overlapping goals. The three currently introduced ‘Dark Side’ characters are united only in the fact that they were all outcasts. ‘The Dark Sides’ isn’t even a meaningful phrase, it’s something Roman came up with on the spot to lump together all the Sides that were too complicated and ambiguous to be part of the OG triad. Virgil doesn’t even use the phrase ‘Dark Sides’, he specifically made the point to call Remus and Janus ‘the others’ instead. He knows he used to be part of That group but it wasn’t because he actually identified with them, it’s because everyone else grouped him with them and until AA—maybe even until Fitting In— he thought his only option was to double down on being an antagonist and collaborate with the other ‘antagonist’ Sides no matter how uneasy they made him.

The Dark Sides are those roommates with no prior history who weren’t able to change their contract in time. They’re the students who got put in a group project together and have wildly different ideas on how to approach the material. They’re the only remaining members of a dying club trying desperately to find some reason to keep hanging out together so the club doesn’t die. They’re the kids who all got detention on the same day and figured talking to each other was better than complete solitude. They’re the inhabitants of that one abandoned lunch table in the back of the cafeteria because no other table will take them.

#i do think there’s a level of protectiveness Janus feels for Remus and even Virgil because again their one commonality is that they all #represent parts of c!Thomas that he doesnt want to accept. aka stuff he’s in denial about. which Janus therefore wants him to confront #but its like a ‘hey! don’t dismiss these guys because they’re a part of you whether you like it or not’ #instead of a ‘hey! don’t dismiss these guys cause they’re my buds’ #sanders sides #the dark sides #sanders sided analysis #virgil sanders #ts virgil #janus sanders #ts janus #remus sanders #ts remus

[2sw]

Supernatural S7E03 The Girl Next Door S8E10 Torn and Frayed

#sam winchester #spn 7x03 #spn 8x10 #s7 #s8 #gifs #the last thing i want is to start a fight cause i'm sick of all the fandom drama #the point of this gifset is there was a clear continuity of what matters the most to sam in both situations #that's all. #anyway. 'sam was just jealous of benny' is the worst take about s8 #you can't minimize it like that. watch the show again😒 #my opinion on that is in the tags of my 8x08 post. if you even care

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Advanced Hall Monitor Technique: Go To Detention

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #thats not supposed to be lan qiren; just a lan elder #once again wwx tries to play chess (setting up a pin) only for lwj to take the peice and crush it in his mouth #teen wangji is the definition of lawful good. Follow and obey the rules outlined by your [group laws] even at the cost to yourself #lawful good gets done so dirty in media (lawful stupid is usually what the result of trying to write such a character becomes) #but here? nah. LWJ’s severe lawfulness does get used for humour but it does *so* much more too #We get to establish a strong character basis for the fact *he stands by what he beleives in—unshakingly* #idk if anyone is out there saying LWJ moves alignment; cause I’d argue his code of law simply shifts to something (someone) else #regardless; i love this scene a lot for what it shows about lwj’s character and its also such a good character dynamic #oh I forgot to wish everyone a happy first day of spring (north hemmies) and fall (south hemmies) #may the change in season be a blessing B*) not for me though I have seasonal allergies #ramadan started recently too; Ramadan Kareem to all the muslims passing by this blog!

[coffeeworldsasaki]

Another thing that makes kaladin so painfully relatable is how much his mental illness hides his personality, because between depressive episodes and trauma he's this sarcastic little shit that smiles a lot at his friends and then the depression gets to him and all that disappears

#I'm dreading book 4 so much #my depression got worse while reading it the first time 😭 #also I don't remember exactly what but multiple times he says stuff that i think too often and having a fictional character say that l #ridiculous stuff caused by mental illness made me feel even worse #it helped! because it hit me how stupid it is and that i should avoid that type of thinking at all costs! but didn't i feel like shit for a #while #now i almost finished book 1 and book 2 has Shallan's past 😬😬😬😬😬 #can't wait to read again about her horrible childhood locked home with a violent father that take out his rage at her on others #that won't make me feel horrible at all! #it's not like i wasn't almost crying just at her getting an anxiety attack at the beginning #....these books feels awfully aimed at me fjskdks #the stormlight archive #cosmere

[linusbenjamin]

“Spider-Man: No Way Home” was released one year ago today ❤️🕸️ (December 17, 2021)

#marvel #marveledit #filmedit #spiderman: no way home #tobey maguire #andrew garfield #tom holland #userdiana #tuserpolly #userlaurianne #useranimusvox #userlindir #nikolatexla #i watched it again and i clapped and screamed when matt andrew tobey showed up lol #i remember in cinema i was sitting there i lost all my hope i was like 'nah no one's coming' after matt showed up (i legit screamed) #then my brother started tapping my shoulder excitedly i was like what the hell #next thing i knew everyone was shouting and screaming and it was such a magical moment 'cause we never experienced that in cinema before #even in endgame so... wow

[eggcats]

seeing the phrase "al your bitches are fighting" when referring to vox and lucifer in a fanfic singlehandedly made me ship radioapple AND radiostatic together at the same time, he's got 2 hands

#hazbin hotel #alastor #vox #lucifer morningstar #radioapple #radiostatic #hazbin alastor #hazbin lucifer #hazbin vox #i very much ship radioapple but i felt like radiostatic was more one sided but now its like #theyre both his bitches and thats so funny #i dont ship lucifer and vox tho #just them both with Alastor and they fight for his attention #its even funnier if alastor doesnt even notice that he's dating them both #he just is #idk how to describe it but i ship them EXACTLY in the 'your bitches are fighting ' way now #just vox and lucifer constantly trying to show each other up for Alastor's attention and him not even noticing #meanwhile everyone else is watching like damn get your bitches in line its causing a ring wide incident- and lucifer is about to involve #the other rings out of spite pls get your bitches in line #and Alastor is just there like i made food for us all and now suddenly everyone is fine again #up until the moment he looks at one of them .1 second longer than the other #and then it restarts

[everysongineverykey]

very pleased to report that i tried literally counting sheep last night and got my first full night's sleep in like a week in a long period of sleepless nights!!

#not sure if i should say 'this works guys!' because while it worked for me #i'm not sure if it'll work for everyone #but yeah! focusing on counting sheep gave my mind one thought to focus on #so it could drown all the others out! much more effective than just trying to 'think of nothing' which i CANNOT do #and as i got further i began spacing out the counting. i listened to my heartbeat #and after like ten beats i'd count the next sheep #and in between the counting i found my mind drifting sort of aimlessly #vague noise i wasn't fully consciously thinking of #which i think is generally a good sign for me. cause i'm losing control of my thought processes and slipping into dreaming #but every time i'd count another sheep it was fascinating. #'one hundred and sixty sheep' and just like that the background noise was all gone. and my mind was quiet again. wow. #anyway i had a full dream for the first time in a while. my cousin was there. i missed school by accident and was disappointed. #love you all💙 sweet dreams and restful nights on planet earth even though it's ten am for me

[feelo-fick]

WELCOME TO PHIO'S EXTREMELY SELF INDULGENT AU HOUR!!!

"Oh, FINALLY, another visitor! It's so quiet in here, it's unnerving..."

—

This AU was meant to be posted on halloween but eh.... Happy Thanksgiving? HAHAHHA

still dont have a name for it, but basically, back in october i was suddenly hit with the need to have a halloween au, so now we have ghost-ified prismo and vampire/witch-ified scarab :D ( although didnt finish the scarab reference spread in time because uh, school and i lost motivation unfortunately )

au synopsis and rambling below the cut!!

the premise of this au is simple : scarab is a real estate agent whos known for his manners ( never barges in, always waits to be invited! though it is a little weird how he keeps asking to be let inside even if they already agreed that he was going to come over... ) and efficiency at his job - that is, convincing people to buy high-end housing for a good price. although his social skills need some... work, his ability to persuade people isnt something to be laughed at.

unfortunately for him, persuading the higher-ups is a completely different story - which he learned the hard way after flunking something big for the company. they dont choose to fire him, no. instead, they put him through a trial, assigning him to sell their most unprofitable property : the mansion in a small town locally known for being haunted by an "evil spirit". if scarab manages to sell it (for good profit) within six months, he is excused and is able to go on with his job. if not... well, best not to think about it, yes? after all, he'll succeed with ease - all he has to do is dispel any worries about some fake "ghost" that only exists as a result of filthy rumors. maybe clean up the place. not too hard, right?

meanwhile, stuck inside said mansion is an extremely bored prismo. hes been hangin around this place for like... how many years now? forty? a hundred? meh, all the same, lately the place has been quieter than usual. i mean- of course people dont just walk into a creepy mansion every day, but there would usually be at least a few bold kids or vloggers coming in now and then for him to entertain but even then they wouldn't stay long ( for obvious reasons ). and now, just some unbound spirits or dumb animals would pass by and thats about it. a guy can only entertain himself for so long, yknow?

that is, until today. when some posh-looking business man entered the premises and started snooping around ( whats the deal with that, by the way?? ). must be prismo's lucky day!! this is the perfect chance to pull out all the stops and play the FUNNIEST prank ever! hah!

... oh. looks like things've gotten a little out of hand.

—

WOOT WOOT WOOTTTTTTTTTTT!!! im so so happy to finish this because ohhhhh my god this has taken ages for no reason other than the fact that ive been really dragging myself to make presentable art JSNDJSJXNSJX.... i realize that i have never worked in real estate ( or at all ) which means i have probably fucked something up but uhh um ill deal with the backlash later :"D im also realizing how many odd unanswered bits and bobs this au is going to have in the future, which... i am ignoring for the most part for now, but there are SOME things that i DO have figured out like ghost lore... but thats for another time, for now i leave you with this >:)

#again i do apologize for not including scarabs reference SOB it was taking so looooong and if i didnt finish it by now i wouldve just never #posted it at ALL so im glad im able to get this out now #again still dont have a name... but would love suggestions if people have any :D #ive been thinking so hard about the name and havent landed on aaaanything dude #creepy crawlies? tell-tale?? witching hour?? GAHH THERES SO MANY OPTIONS AND I DONT KNOW WHETHER I WANT TO GO WITH SYMBOLISM OR SILLY SIMPL #but anyways time for real tags #prohibitedwish #prismo the wishmaster #scarab the god auditor #uhh idk what else to put HAHAHHA #dont wanna tag fionna and cake cause i feel like thats just a lie idk #ACKKK I CANT BELIEVE IM FINALLY POSTING THIS I AM. SO NERVOUS MY HANDS ARE SO SWEATY YOU DOTN EVEN KNOW #okay okay. sending post now oh god

[jessklpy]

Anger and hatred are just a mask to hide sadness and despair...

#HELP I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I WROTE IT RIGHT #I'm sorry I don't speak english 😭 #I have the headcanon that after a fight Albedo goes to the nearest public bathroom so he can clean himself up... #Frog lived in a warehouse or something like that 'cause he spent all his money on a machine to become a Galvan again... #ben 10 albedo #ben ten #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 alien force #ben 10 #ben 10 fanart #ben tennyson

[kagooleo]

johto’s champion and chronicler for the deity of the ilex shrine, it’s lyra!🌿

this one took me a while due to trying out different techniques (studying a Lot of art nouveau) and making a couple changes to her outfit (the details help), but I’d like to think she’s learned a lot in her journey and wanted to reflect her experience more in her champion fit

her specialty would be in fairy types and her meganium’s divergent evolution is grass/fairy 🧚🪷

and a bonus w/ the johto gang after the photoshoot!

#kagarts #trainer lyra #meganium #pokemon hgss #get ready for a bigass tag wall again HYAH #her team picks are meganium (grass/fairy + shiny!) azumarill togekiss alola ninetales gardevoir and clefable (mega evolves for fairy/steel) #terrains and high sp atk + statuses galore + her dino can cause a stronger confusion (like toxic w badly poisoned but its w/ Bad headaches) #i'll probably make changes as i go design wise for meganium but colors were inspo from sampaguita flowers #the flower's associated with true friendship and utilized in medicines or given as good gestures in various traditions and celebrations #and also bc she's 🇵🇭 babey!!!!!!!! i'm slapping all my favs w the pinoy beam and not even the dinos are safe >:] #since her dino is shiny a lot of the colors are just a few color diffs where the little orbs are + warmer tones. gotta make a ref sometime #not sure if I should tag the others bc the focus is on her. but the quartet always pulls thru for each other #i like thinking silver gets comfortable enough to be the friend that's “s'cuse you my Friend asked for No pickles” #silver in line picking up her food like “yeah yeah i know her and btw that’s CHAMPION lyra to you. YES she ordered a strawberry shake” #both of their meganiums are Best friends and silver likely uses his dino when you rematch him (and his would beee grass/dragon) #calling this piece Done though oh my god this semester has been nuts. don't wanna take any longer on a single piece or i'm eating tree bark #tumblr's gonna kill the quality on it but idgaf im Done. i need to tidy up my sheezy now

[sun-archeron]

thinking abt luffy, and how he grew up so poor that if he wanted to have a decent meal he had to go into the forest and fight big, dangerous animals. but at least he was strong enough to be able to fight, while there were people that lived close to him that had to live amongst the trash, hoping to find scraps they could sell so they could eat once during the day.

thinking abt how luffy values food so much, how he always eats as much as he physically can. how he values the people that feed him, that eat with him. whether its a luxurious meal or just an apple they share.

thinking abt how pretty much everytime he saved/liberated a place/island/nation was bc someone from the place had fed him.

how when he actived gear 5 he was fighting to save a nation that its main problem was starvation. and not only that but the food there had also been weaponized to mock them and make them suffer more. and it was fighting for them that he fully reached the form of nika, the form that will allow him to bring down the current government and its system which creates these areas where people starve

also! how in zoros introduction we see him eat something that was on the dirt, partly bc he hadnt eaten in a long time and partly bc someone made it and risked themselves to bring it to him. and how sanji is always happy to cook for anyone whos hungry and absolutely hates food waste. and how these two are luffys wings

#this all makes me very emotional #but setting that aside #theory time #its pratically a given that luffy will get to laughtale > find out what was joyboys goal > #see that it aligns with his true dream (the one oda keeps teasing but never revealing) > and go on to finish joyboys mission > #which will involve taking down if not the world government at least the celestial dragons (especially imu and the gorousei) #but for that to happen his true dream has to be something world changing #and even though he causes a lot of revolutions he does so for personal reasons #he doesnt care abt politics #and only challenges the system when it personally affects him and/or those he cares abt #so the only way i can see his dream aligning with joyboys goal is #if he wants to make sure that the people he cares abt never go hungry again #and to end starvation on a global scale he will have to destroy the current system #ive seen people theorise that his dream is to have a giant feast with a bunch of people #but i think he would want something more permanent #one piece #monkey d luffy #luffy #gear 5th #roronoa zoro #black leg sanji #sun god nika #joy boy #wano arc #ANYWAY #ODA AND THE FANS MAKE A LOT OF JOKES ABOUT LUFFYS RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD BUT I THINK ITS BEAUTIFUL #AND SAD #AND IT BRINGS ME JOY TO SEE HOW HAPPY HE IS WHEN HES EATING