#existential crisis maybe?

[larrysballetslippers]

made myself sad again

#why can't I just stay off tumblr when things happen?? #it's really bad for my mental health because I internalise everything #especially when it's something fucked up that happened #like h being treated like a machine or just things on the news #I feel like it's not worth it yk #why is the world so fucked up?? when did that happen?? #why is mankind so fucking horrible??? #why do I feel so useless bc I can't better the world?? #I can't contribute to a happier world #I feel like I'm not good enough to change anything and it's starting to get very bad #my feelings of worthlessness has shifted from being focused on my loved ones to being focused on the world #and I'm not liking it #existential crisis maybe? #it's getting worse hahahha #anyway why do always talk so much in my tags #good night sleep tight don't let the pms bite you

[kaltacore]

the way cole makes varric conflicted is so delicious i think. most of the characters are uncomfortable around him because they're genuinely terrified of demons and the fade and magic in general but varric is a completely different case. the thing is, he doesn't see cole as a demon at all because he doesn't want to.

he acts like he doesn't care about this stuff. that's a little weird kiddo around here and he wants to befriend him. teach him something even. why not. that's a little guy who's a little too good with knives and can't pick up a single social clue at the same time.

but there it is. the "he could have been a person" line if cole is made more spirit. varric is so upset about it because it's not like he saw cole as, well, a spirit who got a little too human. for varric, he was a human first, a weird kid second. the spirit part didn't even come into consideration because. well. it would make him question things. you know where it goes.

every time he starts bitching about anders he brings up justice. justice drove him mad. justice took over him. justice this, justice that. justice is a scapegoat because the thought that someone varric was friends with was actually willing to blow up the chantry and it wasn't just some evil demon's wish is a very unsettling one. varric's friends may be crazy but they're cool and make no irreversible life decisions of that extent, don't they? blondie turned out this way because he let a demon possess him and make him do terrible things. completely out of the blue.

it's either varric's ex-friend has never been driven crazy by some inherently evil entity and there was a whole other person around him all along and that anger he used to mock was coming from the same place as compassion's urge to become a killer or that little weird but kind kid he started to care about has never been and will never be a real kid. he can't have both. a bitter pill to swallow for someone who has never picked a side in his life

#got a lot of cole thoughts yesterday. can't help myself #anyway. varric really must have not just apostate issues but also spirit issues now. a whole existential crisis #i mean. yeah. he was backstabbed (from his perspective) by his apostate buddies twice #but he also almost adopted a spirit guy. and before that he never took another one seriously for 6 years up until he and his host teamed up #and set varric's favourite city on fire. well i guess he has some mental gymnastics to do from time to time now #because cole is nice. he also kills people but who doesn't these days. also these people are bad so it's fine. #he wouldn't blow up a building for a greater goal or something. or would he if he becomes a spirit again #or maybe it's not about spirits and humans at all. i guess varric would rather not. find this out. #ofc his problem with anders is understandable on a character level and it's not only about justice. but he brings him up. well. a lot #and he never was interested in justice as a separate person. he was like. an evil unhinged anders for him. and then cole happened. and. yk #cole #varric tethras #dragon age

[shepscapades]

Hey! i’m really into the dbch story and i was wondering if doc and xisuma ever tell bdubs the specifics of why etho lost his memories, cause if they do that is prime self blaming angst for bdubs

I’m inclined to believe they don’t. Actually (and maybe I should do a small comic for this so more people see it) I imagine, once a month or a few pass and they finally return etho to bdubs as reset, I imagine they are VERY serious about warning bdubs not to try to force Etho to re-deviate— they don’t go into specifics, but they probably tell bdubs that whatever happened had to do with something that was emotionally overwhelming, and that forcing him to redeviate/not letting it happen naturally could trigger the same error. They have no idea what could happen so bdubs needs to be very careful and let Etho find himself again on his own.

Whether or not bdubs gets impatient or can only go so long before he doubts it would be that bad if he tried pushing Etho in the right direction is another story.

But yeah. I don’t think Xisuma or Doc really… tell anyone that this happened. Etho’s error seemed like a very specific one-off scenario, so it’s not something the other hermits should be trying to avoid or be careful about happening to their own android friends, and the only thing telling people would do is make them worried about the situation. All they need to know is that etho was broken and that they need to be careful with him. I don’t agree with their decision to keep what happened to themselves but I understand it I think. Xisuma “i don’t want to worry the hermits” Void and Docm “eh this isn’t the first time I’ve replaced this arm, people won’t question it” 77

#that’s a lie actually I think xisuma ends up telling Cleo :> #but only because Cleo is very smart and I think they should be close in this au :] #but no she would clock Tired Overworked Existential Crisis Xisuma in an instant #Cleo calls them both idiots and gives them big hugs and tells them they need therapy. also that they’re welcome by her place anytime to talk #it’s very sweet and healing to me #this is where “all things end’’ on Xisuma’s playlist comes in actually #oh my god I got so off topic #BDUBS IS GOING TO FEEL GUILTY NO MATTER WHAT THOUGH #like okay. technically #the reason etho shut down is because he was freaking out that everything was his fault #(last life—not giving bdubs a heart— trying to win for bdubs and then losing— coming back to s8 feeling like he can’t face bdubs—> #ending up leaving him alone when the moon hit #and bdubs was hurt by these things. no doubt #but bdubs just wants his friend back and maybe he’s a little reckless about it #bdubs hides his emotions behind cartoonish frustration and complaining but he feels bad #he feels like he should be doing more to ‘save’ etho and bring him back even though he was to #told* he shouldn’t #dbhc ask #dbhc #dbhc bdubs #dbhc etho #dbhc doc #dbhc xisuma #ask #anon

[aheathen-conceivably]

“Good morning, birthday boy.”

Both Antoine and Zelda were now well used to rising at sunrise, so the words hadn’t woken him; but they did pull him out of the nebulous ether between sleep and wakefulness, so he moved closer to the woman curled around his back, “Oh, is that today?”

“Don’t play coy with me. That’s my job.”

Her hand wrapped around his waist, down his chest and to his drawstring, “I’m an old man now, my love, how could you possibly want someone with such wrinkles? I do believe I even found a gray hair yesterday.” A light laugh sounded in his ear, prompting him to turn and face her, “You can be so dramatic for a stoic. Thirty-six is not old.”

It was getting harder to answer her, to keep his tone measured as one of her hands wrapped around his neck and the other grazed up and down his arm. He brought his hand to her thigh, just below the lace of her silk shorts, “Oh you don’t believe me, do you? You should have heard the creak my knee made yesterday. I think it even scared off one of the horses.”

This time she did laugh aloud, shaking his hand off her thigh by throwing her leg onto the other side of his waist and sinking her weight down onto him. Her tone was as close to mocking as it ever came, “Yet not a peep from mine. Thank God at least one of us is still young enough for this.”

“Oh you’ll see one day, young lady. It’s tough to get old…” But by that point he had all but given up trying to speak without his voice descending into sighs. Her lips were trailing down his stomach, just slowly enough to answer him with a smile he had to look down to catch, “Sounds terrible. You poor thing. I suppose I’ll have to take care of you from now on, won’t I?”

Antoine took another glance out the window, where the day had already somehow grown brighter than he realized; but still he didn’t hurry Zelda with the last of his buttons. She caught his glance and finished the final one, “Don’t worry. You’ll barely be late.”

He pulled her close to him before grabbing his hat from the hook on the wall, “I know. And Mabel’s bakin’ a cake for lunch, so I doubt it’ll be much of a hard day.”

“Oh, so you did know.”

“You don’t have a market on coy, my dear.” He pulled his arm away and returned her wide smile, placing the hat on his head before grabbing her hand one final time, “How ‘bout you bring Violette over after you and Gio finish up work? She can have some cake and you and Mabel can enjoy yourselves.”

She answered with a quick kiss before turning to dress in her own work clothes, “Sounds great, old man.”

After their morning tasks, Antoine was standing in the stables with Silver. Before his daughter got there or he got another minute older, there was one thing he knew he wanted to do; and if he didn’t have the confidence to do it today he knew he never would. 

She had been friendly with him for weeks now, and he kept hearing Abe’s words in his mind tempting him like a daydream, “You get her to let you ride her and you’re welcome to, anytime you like.” Only she wasn’t some trained horse, she was wild and distrustful. Sometimes her nostrils still flared menacingly in his presence and he thought that maybe, despite all their time together, she still even hated him. But as he ran his hand along her shining black coat, she blinked slowly, trustingly, and he knew that it was the day.

He went to the front of the barn, where he grabbed the riding gear that had sat tempting him every day. First he set the blanket atop her, then the saddle. He stopped periodically as he adjusted it, listening and looking for any sign of her anger, but she stayed patient with him each step. Finally he placed the bridle on her face and buckled the strap in front of her chest. It was like she understood that the movement had fully encircled her in some sort of trap, and she kicked her legs angrily as her eyes went dark.

Any other day he might have walked away, or undone the buckle around her chest, but today he knelt down in front of her so he could look her in the eyes. “Hey old girl, hey,” the words were half spoken, half whistled, “it’s me, okay? Just me. You can trust me.”

Her kicking stopped and her eyes seemed to settle on him, blinking slower and slower as he ran his hand along the side of her neck.

He walked beside her, letting out a shaky breath and putting a hand on her thigh. Alright, Antoine. Now or never. Don’t think about her throwing you in the sand. Don’t think about her breaking your back with one kick. He grabbed onto the horn and hoisted himself up onto the saddle. In the movement his knee let out a low creak and he laughed aloud, louder than he intended to, “Old man.”

Only his voice seemed to stir something in Silver, and she immediately turned to trot out of the stables. He grabbed the reins immediately and went over everything Abe had told him. Don’t pull too tightly. Stay calm. Your feet matter just as much as your hands. Talk to them with every move you make. Stay fucking calm.

Out in the desert sunshine, he passed Abe in his favorite spot next to the fire where he had sat to eat his cake. Antoine didn’t dare fully turn to face him, but out of the corner of his eye he could see his eyebrows raised impressively and a small approving smile on his face.

The closer they got to the edge of the farmyard, the more Silver seemed to remember exactly what she was doing, and perhaps even exactly where she was going. Her feet moved slowly at first, and then faster and faster as Antoine’s guidance grew more comfortable and confident. As the hills opened up and the flowers parted for them, it was like he forgot to be afraid or to wish that this moment was everything he had ever dreamed of, simply because it was.

#alert alert Antoine is now an adult #did I give him the most subtle wrinkles possible because I’m having an existential crisis about it? #…..maybe #but he’s back baby Yeehaw Antoine is BACK #1932 #sims 4 historical #ts4 decades challenge #ts4 historical #sims 4 decades challenge #the darlingtons #sims 4 legacy #ts4 legacy #sims 4 story #ts4 story #1930s #Antoine Duplanchier #Zelda darlington #Abraham Hines #sim spice

[rebouks]

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#ts4 #sims 4 #simblr #ts4 story #sims story #forever in between #fib #wyatt shaw #ᓚᘏᗢ #wyatt touching the cat like ew ew EW #😂 #sometimes u just gotta accept your fate u kno #i think wyatt's probably a lil glad to feel things but also perturbed.. lmaoo #i miss someone AND i feel sorry for a cat?! WHO AM I #the existential crisis continues.. but in a slightly different way this time aha #newaaay #i think we'll leave wyatt and his new friend for a while now :3 #maybe he'll give it a name eventually...

[clambuoyance]

Roxy’s goodbye (clambuoyance’s version)

#I’ll probably add more or color it laterrr. #smth smth Roxy slowly feeling more sorry for Rex taking advantage of superboys fame #and thinking that maybe that stardom fucked up an all too young kon’s sense of identity and worth #smth smth she thinks kons just too earnest and lovable he doesn’t need any of that stuff #kon at first would be sad another friend is saying goodbye which would’ve made him go back to Cadmus #where he has to be told again there about how to be #and there’s that one issue where the cannon cadmus guy is like #wow didn’t realize how much ppl cared about this kid #and kon must hear the same thing from ma when he goes to smallville to live a more quiet life but he’s even more unsure of how to act or be #existential crisis after existential crisis until he gets it through his thick skull #smth smth kon affirming his existence and realness not through his usefulness or purpose but by his connections to people and friends #he just has to be himself #clam draws #dc clamics #kon el #Roxy leech #Conner kent #superboy #comic

[sharvariq]

i knew damn well what i was doing taking this route but this still shattered me

also bryan's performance in this scene is absolutely immaculate

#I AM A MONSTER #i do think it's lowkey hilarious how hank just goes about his day discarding connor's existential crisis right there #also is there a way for simon not to get shot? #i chose to tackle the guard who was about to call for reinforcements #but i guess maybe if i had gone after the other one then simon would've been okay?? #dbh #detroit become human #rk800 #dbh connor

[tianhai03]

who is that, i wonder.

black & white + no blur version.

#how are you supposed to feel when you don't recognize the person staring right back at you in a mirror? #or maybe you do recognize it. just not as your own face. #must be one hell of a feeling to experience. #devil may cry #dante(dmc) #allyart #first proper finished drawing of the year and its made bc i had an existential crisis at 5pm and was projecting onto dante #wonderful stuff here

[evilkitten3]

do you guys think deidara like. knew how old tobi was. do u think he knew this guy was in his 30s. do you think he knew that

#naruto #naruto shippuden #deidara #uchiha obito #or did he assume tobi was assigned to him bc they were the same age? like he thinks tobi is a year or two younger than him maybe? #like deidara joined at 14/15 so it's not like the idea of someone joining that young would baffle him or anything #but like imagine. imagine getting to the afterlife and finding out that kid you were babysitting was a grown man #maybe they bump into each other in the afterlife and deidara is absolutely baffled by why this weirdo is acting like they've met #and then obito casually calls him ''senpai'' as a joke and deidara has to like. reboot his whole brain #he's reminded every time obito mentions having fought in the third war. during which deidara was a small child #deidara's post-mortem existential crisis

[idliketobeatree]

crowley's whole range of human and non-human expression from the final fifteen, but it's an honest reaction to finding out the shitshow of his life is actually considered a "comedy"

#anthony j crowley #crowley #good omens #final fifteen #i'm never letting neil live this down. it's just too funny #especially since the BAFTAs are coming and when/if david wins they will have to do that silly montage of the character #and. his most special acting moments are like half and half tragic and hilarious. just out of context i'd be like HMMMM #inb4 shakespearean comedy and tragedy yes yes but just look me in the eye and tell me crowley would like this descriptor #in a weirdly self-deprecating way maybe. but otherwise uhhhh #in his place i'd go through an existential crisis. again #marcela talks #i want to break queue #good omens s2 #good omens 2

[phoenixcatch7]

Why can't we have a batman is the spirit of Gotham au?

He already is, in meta, in character, in theming. Him and the joker. He is so very built upon what Gotham is made of, and Gotham builds from what he needs in turn, the setting of his story.

What if that is the reason he can take damage that would permanently ruin a physical career and come back? What if that's how he's managed to maintain his no-kill streak to such an extent? What if that's how he manages to maintain such high maintenance and all consuming identities?

For the heart and soul of a city containing all extremes, the richest nobility and the lowest of the poor, the cruellest villains and the most compassionate heroes, orphaned children and ancient lineages, a city rooted in fear and madness and grit-teeth determination and hard won kindness, what better choice could you find than Bruce Wayne?

But what if he wasn't alone in that? What if Gotham has sunk to such a low because its spirit is damaged and corrupted?

For the heart and soul of the cruellest city in the dc universe, the most unrelenting and uncaring, the one that practically laughs at your pain and suffering as you try to make it through another day, what better choice than the Joker?

#Batman v joker is yin yang up down left right it's the oroborus #Like it's possibly one of the most famous arch enemies of modern day lmao #Something something what if there was an actual reason b couldn't kill joker?? Like if joker died it'd kill him too. #Unbalance the incredibly fragile equilibrium b has spent decades fighting for #Like those threatre masks. Love theatre mask symbolism. But the batman is the smiling one and the joker is the frowning one #Its apathy vs compassion. Someone made a really good post about it a while ago but I can't find it ToT #But yeah imagine if b found out about the whole city spirit thing and freaked out it until he found out it was him. #Like full on possessive trawls through research and 'no I'm fine' to everyone watching and lying awake fuming and then it's all fine #Except now he can have an existential crisis because he never realised lmao. Idk maybe the waynes were infertile and he was a surprise baby #Maybe there's no hint he wasn't entirely human until he had the option opened to him. #Like he just thought all his weirdnesses were just from one of the various things he never got official diagnoses for #Which he still is! Some things were just supernatural lol #The kids are laughing at him but they've got the Gotham spirit of the protection which is how they're all (mostly) still alive lmao #Batman #Bruce Wayne #Cryptid batman #Gotham spirit au #Fic idea #Story idea #Batfam #Batfamily #Dc comics #Gotham #Dc city spirits

[boxchewr]

okay. listen. i'm randomly thinking abt sw/sh's story again and i feel like it would be so very easy to make chairman rose a much better (not so much villain? but character in motivation in general) than he is in raw game canon and that's just

to make the energy crisis be much more urgent. either the energy sources are failing right now or they will VERY soon. like in a month or less soon. and portraying rose as a man genuinely at the end of his rope on how to fix it, torn between letting galar run out of power and all of the issues that come as a result. or to bring on the darkest day in an attempt to wrangle eternatus as an infinite power source at the risk of all that comes with summoning it. with the clock ticking ever closer and more cities running on less power by the day

and if they want him to still be evil he can be doing it all more for the greed and money of keeping his business afloat more than caring abt galar's citizens or his own employees. but i also think it's more fun to make him a villain by circumstance man pushed to his limit and willing to make sacrifices for the good of the region

#pokemon #pokemon swsh #chairman rose #instead of him being pokemon elon musk i give him anxiety and the impending doom he's responsible for handling #with the darkest day being a last ditch effort instead of “well im having an existential crisis over something i wont live to see so do it” #i should make this an au....maybe #i still need to flesh out any of my other aus anywhere besides my head LOL

[lets-try-some-writing]

Random Crack Idea

Alright so in IDW (i think) Ultra Magnus actually has a little bot called Minimus inside him and Ultra Magnus is basically just the giant mech suit Minimus wears so he can do his job and get some respect. With that in mind I wondered, what if TFP Optimus (in some alternate universe) is actually just a giant mech suit that Orion Pax (or the Pax sized Optimus) is operating from the inside?

He still has the Matrix and all that, but perhaps due to an injury effectively crippling him in combat or maybe just out of a desire to not be shredded by Megatron, Orion Pax operates the giant Optimus suit and no bot knows about it. How he gets away with no bot knowing? No idea. Maybe Alpha Trion hooked him up or something, or perhaps Shockwave got involved somehow. Whatever the case, I think the chaos that would come from this when his true status is eventually revealed would be hilarious.

I mean, think about it. The great and glorious Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, last of the Primes, and absolute unit... is actually travel sized when compared to his big body. He is certainly no minibot, but Optimus being roughly the same height as Ratchet underneath all that armor would be great.

The hilarity would be even better if Optimus's secret wasn't discovered during some great emotional moment, but instead at like 3am when he got out of his suit for a cube of energon. Or better yet, Smokescreen is just chilling at night, maybe coming back from night shift and then finds Optimus taking off his suit and hopping around on one pede trying to get his giant boot off. Smokescreen would be completely flabbergasted and Optimus would just look at him and say "No one will believe you" before gathering up his suit and hurrying off.

The team would be let in on the secret eventually, but I can see Optimus just freaking leaving one of his boots laying around just to scare the scrap out of whoever stumbles upon it. Poor Bumblebee thinking his dad has lost a leg and then seeing Optimus out of his suit chuckling around the corner. Or Optimus gets himself stuck in a part of his suit and looks super disproportionate until somebot helps him free himself of his suit.

And imagine Megatron finally figuring out that he has been fighting the same little Archivist throughout the entirety of the war. At some point Optimus just yeets one of his gloves at Megatron as a distraction and goes to save somebot from getting killed and Megatron just stands there watching Optimus run off with one itty bitty arm like: "What the fRAG!?!" And then just kinda stares at the arm/glove on the ground in front of him wondering if Prime just cut off his own arm or something because he is a self sacrificial idiot or what.

He would be emotionally scarred and stuck having an existential crisis until during a team up, Optimus just takes off his suit and casually goes to collect some energon or something. Every single Decepticon would be left questioning their life choices once the news of Optimus's true size reaches them.

The best part of all (at least to me) about this crack idea is the thought that Optimus, the Pax sized, only slightly taller than Bumblebee, Prime becomes an absolute beast the moment he gets suited up. He goes from this regular sized bot to a terrifying force in under a few minutes and it scares his whole team.

Like, imagine him putting on his big mech suit:

#maccadam #transformers prime #tfp optimus #transformers #transformers ideas #crack idea #normal bot becomes body builder #truly terrifying #poor megatron #him and everyone else are stuck having existential crisis's wondering if they have been beating up a civilian this whole time #smokescreen traumatized for life after watching his idol turn into an NPC #I can see optimus getting on a box or something to reprimand smokescreen and bumblebee when out of his suit #maybe he has ultra magnus lift him up to reach stuff sometimes #smoll but not too smoll optimus is my fav

[molotovbortles]

Remembering that one time they gave Mikey an existential/midlife crisis and his brothers took him to the amusement park to cheer him up and they were like “hey buddy, that rollercoaster looks cool huh champ?” and he was just not having it.

Like I dont know why but that comic was forking hilarious to me. It seriously reminds me a lot of this lol.

#tmnt #tmnt idw #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt mikey #has an existential crisis #and its funny as fork #i dont know why #ok maybe im exaggerating a TINY bit #but idc its funny

[machathecat]

What if our universe was simply like n an enclosure for a class of elementary school angels to study. What if humanity was simply a specie if insect in between many other for them. What if rain was them giving up water with those spray thingys. What if humans where like centipedes to those little baby angels. can anyone hear me

#Is this anything #Does this even make sense idk #I was waiting for glue to dry and had an existential crisis #HEY WAIT #I COULD MAKE OCS OUT OF THAT #MAYBE EVEN A FANFIC

[n00dleb0yy]

3am bpd witchcraft episodes kinda go hard

#currently bumping my current existential crisis playlist if anyones interested ill drop the link😌 #lost all my friends #my housing #and over half my shit in a matter of a month (and maybe like a half) #psa to my bpd besties #NEVER date another borderline for the love of god #youd think id learn by now smfh #just bpd things #sleep token #bad omens #placebo #depeche mode #the smiths #mars volta #the cure #playlist #actually bpd #borderline thoughts #witchblr #witchcraft #not me doing spells to make /him/ come back oops #i literally said i was absolutely done with dating but.......👀 #LISTEN he wasnt intentionally bad to me i fp'd him so fucking hard i couldnt see that we were literally just fwbs #and thats on mental illness babey #but /him/👀 #him sir thats my husband #i am absolutely losing my mind