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tactfullyinappropriate · 2 months

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Ohhh boy, I'm gonna get a lot of flak for this one but... masc lesbian =/= butch. You can be the most masculine presenting person the world has ever known and that does not automatically make you butch.

Butch is an identity and you kinda need to fit that identity, not make the identity fit you. E.g. "lesbians" who are attracted to cishet men. Sorry, hun, you're just not a lesbian. Find your own identity that fits. You are allowed to be your own kind of bisexual or pansexual but what you are not, is a lesbian.

Sure, there is a lot of room for being your own person within an identity. I am not the same kind of lesbian as the next dyke. But if I did not fit (or if I no longer fit) the definition of the lesbian identity, I wouldn't call myself one and insist that lesbians expand the definition to include me.

'Butch' as an identity exists within a certain context. It *is not* a synonym to man, and it's also not a synonym to 'a masculine presenting lesbian'. If you don't vibe with the whole 'chivalry' concept and the specific ways in with butch/femme courtship (as an example) happens, maybe consider if this is the right label for you before insisting that we expand or rather completely rewrite the definition to exclude those things from it.

Some of the discourse around 'we should redefine butch!' reminds me of the discourse around redefining manhood. "It's not fair that men are expected to have masculine hobbies," they say. "It's not fair that men cannot wear glitter and makeup and retain their manhood. It's not fair that men are expected to open doors, and carry heavy things, and to-to---" Yes. You are exactly right. But butches are not men.

'Butch' is an opt-in identity, not something that society at large expects and requires from you. In other words: if you think femmes gushing about being courted by their butches in what to you appears to be a 1960s play-pretend of patriarchy, is silly, objectifying or demeaning toward one of the parties... consider that maybe 'butch' is not the identity for you. That maybe you are a masculine person with their own unique take on masculinity.

But insisting that we redefine butch is like me insisting that we redefine 'yoga' because I vibe with the gymnastics but I don't like the spiritual aspect of it. I can just go to Pilates instead. Or do yoga and accept that other people in the practice experience it differently.

What I am endlessly tired of, as a femme, is being lectured on what I *should* and *should not* find attractive. I am not somehow betraying feminism, objectifying people and degrading myself by daydreaming of a butch who opens the car door for me or - the absolute horror - brings me flowers on a date. I recognize that other people have the right to their own attraction and that masculine lesbians deserve the freedom to explore masculinity on their own terms and be treated with dignity and respect regardless of where that exploration takes them and regardless of who does or does not find them attractive.

That being said, the whole narrative of 'if you find chivalry hot, then you are objectifying butches and you are, in fact, an entitled selfish person' is tiresome. Not all femmes are women but in being chastised for our turn-ons and romantic daydreams (unless we're the Cool Girl who doesn't like flowers and rolls her eyes at romance) I see a lot of the admonishment directed toward cis straight women who dare to swoon when they read romance where the male lead is courteous and generous.

Except, again, butch/femme *is not* man/woman. It's a particular subculture within the lesbian identity and no one is pressuring anyone into conforming to it.

#butch #dyke #butch lesbian #dykeposting #stone butch #lesbiansafe #butch4femme #femme4butch #femme lesbian #femme #sapphic #lesbian #wlw

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artigas · 1 month

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I’m really happy that Black Sails is experiencing a bit of a renaissance, but (predictably) some of the takes I’m seeing online are so busted. It’s wild to me that anyone would complain about the fact that Anne Bonny kisses Jack after she’s developed this life-changing relationship with Max. It’s absolutely wild to see anyone roll their eyes or feel uncomfortable about the fact that Flint has sex with Miranda when he returns to her in season one or that Max is most likely a lesbian but actively has sex with men for pay and knows how to make that pleasurable. It’s crazy to me that some of the very audiences who claim to want queer representation feel so discomforted when they actually see the mess and seeming inconsistencies of queerness that they asked for.

The reality is that there are lesbians who have had (and will have!) meaningful, mutually-gratifying, and deeply sexual relationships with men. There are gay men who’ve enjoyed having sex with women, who are gay as the day is long and nevertheless feel sexually attracted to a woman or two and are nevertheless gay men, full stop. There are gay cis men who are happily married to trans women. There are femme dom tops and butch bottoms and there are mascs afab people who like femme boys. There are non-binary people and trans men who actively identify as lesbians. There are ace and aro people who enjoy thinking about and engaging with sex — sometimes in fiction and sometimes in real life. Queerness, in fiction and in reality, defies neat categorization. That is the beauty, power, and (perceived) unorthodoxy of queerness.

Now, I’ll say this — do I think the straight men behind Black Sails were actively thinking deeply and insightfully about the paradoxes and fuckery of queer identity when they wrote Black Sails? No! By their own admission, Steinberg and Levine have owned up to the fact that some of the writing of the show was really hinged on their own blind spots as people who are not (to my knowledge) members of the queer community. If I want to be generous, I think that the beautiful mess of Black Sails is that, in not feeling like experts enough to designate specific identity labels to any of their characters, the writers stumbled their way into more authentic representation of lived queer experience, which is to say that the notion that James Flint was actively thinking of himself as a gay man was anachronistic. As many lesbian archivists and theories have noted, the notion of a queer identity — as in, queerness is who you are, not what you do — was patently unthinkable for most cultures in the past. In other words, the idea that Anne Bonny operates in the eighteenth century as a lesbian and thus would not willingly engage in relationships with men is not only untrue of the series, but untrue of most recorded lesbian experiences in the real world. The notion that a lesbian would operate her entire life without engaging sexually or romantically with men, for instance, is a very new privilege that some of us are very lucky to enjoy, but it is not true for the vast majority of human history — hell, it’s not even true of our present world.

This is all to say that think that there’s something really funny about how we want queer characters to fit into neatly organized boxes. This isn’t a new problem, either. When the show was still airing, the BS fandom would get itself into tizzies about wether or not Flint is gay or bisexual, wether or not Anne Bonny is a lesbian, wether or not Silver is queer when his only canonical relationship is with Madi, etc etc. We’ve been having these discourses for years and I don’t know. I get that much of it is fueled by how badly some people want to see themselves represented in media, but . . . well. The siloing of queer characters and queer narratives into neat little boxes has never felt very authentic to me and nine times out of ten, it’s also just so damn boring.

#black sails #anyways I gotta stop yapping #its just wild seeing the same arguments play out on twitter and other corners of tumblr when like #lmao I was there for the day when like 2.5 people got very angry that I referred to Max as a queer woman ONCE #and interchangeably with calling her a lesbian lmao #when I tell you … I love this show but those writers were not being that intentional with any of this lmao

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evergreen-femme · 1 year

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i honestly hate the trans girl narrative that we were all always women no questions full stop. i get why it needs to exist and like i won't break the orthodoxy right now but to be honest that isn't really my experience. i was a boy who really desperately wanted to be a "girl" growing up, whatever that meant to me. now, i am a woman but i'm still that boy inside - he's my inner child. it may not be the nicest truth but it's my reality. it's immensely sad. but i need to acknowledge him if im ever going to have a sense of continuity in my life. so yea that's what the femboy stuff has been all about and why it feels so completely healing for me. its hot too yeah i know but i feel like i need to explain that it has a much deeper meaning to me than that as a "fetish." it's literally the narrative of my life, and me being happy enough with the results of my transition on a more or less every day basis to try and acknowledge and embrace the part of me i've always been the most ashamed of.

and also im really afraid of people saying shit because of this like "you aren't really a woman and you definitely aren't a lesbian!" bc i am still a woman. my adult self is a woman. acknowledging my womanhood meant acknowledging the 17 years of my life i spent fully dissociated from my body or any real sense of self, which was a terrifying thing to do that i think a lot of people would lack the courage for. and my lesbian and especially femme identity (to me, i'm a femme first, and a lesbian second) is incredibly important to my sense of womanhood. i had to embrace my womanhood to grow up, basically, and i delayed that for way too long. WAY too long. but i was still existing during that waiting time and i'm not going to just throw away 17 years of my life because it doesn't make sense to dumbass queer discoursers. i'm a boy who grew up into a woman. ppl like me do exist.

#diaryposting

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leikeliscomet · 4 months

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A Brief Look at Stem(me) History

Wanted to know more about Black lesbian identities and I couldn't find a lot on Tumblr or Twitter so I did some research on stem/stemme myself. I'm not involved in queer discourse like that but I've noticed stemme being compared with futch both positively an negatively. The term "futch" is a mash up of butch and femme and the OG Futch Scale was posted 17th February 2011. In 2015, it got posted to Tumblr and became a meme, then an accidental "guide" on lesbian identity. Regardless of stances pro-futch or anti-futch I wanted to find info on stem/stemme as a Black lesbian identity for gender and gender expression. The modern definition of a stem/stemme is a Black lesbian whose gender expression and mannerisms fall between stud and femme. I've managed to find definitions not only supporting this but also definitions predating the futch scale, both pre and post meme version:

"Stem – A person whose gender expression falls somewhere between a stud and a femme. (See also ‘Femme’ and ‘Stud’.)" Stud is defined as "An African-American and/or Latina masculine lesbian. Also known as ‘butch’ or ‘aggressive’." (John Jay College of Criminal Justice LGBTQ+ Terminology, Eli R. Green, 2003-2004)

"Stemm A stemm is a gay/lesbian female who dresses like a guy, and dresses like a girl. Person 1: Look at that girl, she looks like a dude with all those guy clothes on, she has to be a stud Person 2: Well she was wearing girly clothes yesterday, so I thought she was a femm Person 3: Actually she's a stemm, she's wears boy clothes sometimes, and girl clothes other times" (Urban Dictionary definition of Stemm by user JenniferHill, November 8th 2009)

"A lesbian, who identifies as a Stemme, retains traits from both Femme and Stud/ Butch lesbians. Stemmes are in the center of the lesbian spectrum of classification and identities. Therefore, it is considered natural or common for Stemme lesbians to share the same behaviors as women of two diverse identity groups. Often times, the Stemme identity is viewed as the “transitional” stage of lesbianism, when a lesbian woman goes from being a Femme to a Stud/ Butch, or (on rear occasions) from a Stud/ Butch to a Femme... *In this blog the characteristic and behavioral difference between a Femme and a Stud is conjoined. The way a Femme or a Stud dresses is not the only way she can be identified. They can also be distinguished by their attitudes, actions and the way they interact with other people. A Stemme is the in-between identity of a Stud and Femme. She is apart of both groups and her identity is subject to change at anytime. A Stemme identity is often referred to as the transitional stage; however, some lesbian women remain a Stemme because they enjoy representing male and female dominance." (Lesbian Identity: Stemme, Nell S., 6th Nov 2009)

"'one who could switch up one day, she could be a femme and other occasions dress like she has a li’l hood, li’l ghetto inside her; a stemme – part femme part stud a tomboy'" (STORY OF INTEREST: Lesbian Speaks Out, Dominica News Online, April 12th 2010)

"Stemmes presented themselves one day as femme and another day as stud; as such, they were visibly unrecognisable unless they divulged their gender identity. Stemmes expose the amorphous nature of gender identity and are invisible – silenced, ostracised or prescribed a gender identity. Many participants refused to recognise that stemmes existed and instead described them as confused. As Shane (age 22) admitted: ‘Sometimes they [studs and femmes] think that we’re confused. We don’t know what we want to be.’ Stemmes show that personal identity claims were often at odds with community perceptions of identity." (Good gay females and babies' daddies: Black lesbian community norms and the acceptability of pregnancy, Sarah J. Reed, Robin Lin Miller, Maria T. Valenti & Tina M. Timm, 21st April 2011)

"Stem, described as a cross between or combination of stud and femme, is a label that was used to refer to a lesbian that presented both masculine and feminine traits and characteristics. Short Dawg said, 'A stem, for me, is a little mixture of a lot of different things. One day you can be super feminine, and the next day you can be not so feminine.'" (Labelling, Butch, Femme Dyke Or Lipstick, Aren't All Lesbians The Same?: An Exploration Of Labels And "Looks" Among Lesbians In The U.S. South, Danielle Kerr, 2013)

Videos

Who has it harder in the world of lesbians? [studs? stems? or fems?}, iRoqStarStemme, 10th Jan 2011

WTH is a STEM??, AmbersCloset, 1st Feb 2013

The Black Lesbian Handbook: The Stem, Channel 4, 9th Feb 2015

There's a lot more I found and I'll post each article and video separately because they all go into more detail but tl;dr;

Stem(me) is an identity coined by Black lesbian spaces

Stem(me) mainly follows stud/femme dynamics rather than butch/femme (but can reference it)

Stem(me) predates the futch scale meme

Stem(me) is defined by clothing but also behaviours, so it can be a form of Black gender expression or gender itself

#lesbian #black lesbian #black sapphic #black queer women #black lesbian history #stemme lesbian #stemme #black wlw #lesbian history #sapphic history #wlw history #stem lesbian #stud lesbian #masc lesbian #chapstick lesbian #stud fem #stud femme

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bengiyo · 11 months

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Step By Step: It makes sense to me.

We’re taking a break from our game this week, so it’s time to get into the Step By Step discourse. Much has been said about the pacing and the writing of this show. I want to write out some of my thoughts on the gay things that are going on and how I think they play into the themes. I’ll try building off my post from last night and expanding those thoughts.

Let me say that I am writing this from the perspective as a Black gay male in the Gulf Coast of the US. I’m writing from that perspective and primarily for that perspective.

The Frustration Is Intentional

I think one of the big themes of this show is about how people are not going to be able to have happiness if they can’t live their lives honestly with each other. Almost every couple is having problems of some sort in this show, and most of them are because of their inability to be direct and honest with each other about what’s going on. Pat gained clarity with the MLM Big Tall by telling him right off. He and Put can’t be together because neither of them can talk about how much they don’t fit anymore. Beam can’t be with Ae. Ae is always fussing with Khanun. Jaab and Jane can’t be together because they can’t talk about what’s going on between them. Pat and Jeng are struggling because Jeng is struggling.

I agree that these episodes have not felt triumphant, but it doesn’t feel like that’s what the show is going for right now. They had a false honeymoon phase. It almost feels like they’re hoping that the release in a year’s worth of sexual tension will fix all the other issues. However, the world is still pressing in. Ying saw this, too, and reminded Pat that he is the one who must be strong. It feels kinda cool to me that a romantic lead who’s the more femme written such that they must take total control of their destiny. Neither of these dudes are going to solve Pat’s problems.

Jeng is Broken

Jeng broke last week when he finally admitted what’s been going on with Pat to Jaab. Something I feel very strongly about is how little care is given to boys who mask well enough to pull of heteronormativity. They are suffering quietly, but we don’t care about their pain because they seem so put together or they’re unfun. Jeng has been nursing a crush on Pat for a year, and he was confronted with the revelation that Pat has only seen him as a coworker, has thought he was straight this entire time, and has explicitly said that Jeng is making him uncomfortable.

Jeng’s breakdown says he knows how tenuous his hold has been for a long time. We all noticed that he seemed off this week. He’s barely processing Pat’s confession. He’s throwing food to the ground. He’s not taking care at work. Instead of creating appropriate professional distance from them, he’s instead planning to promote Pat past his colleagues. Jeng is not paying attention.

Beyond his interest in Pat, the only thing he showed interest in this episode was continuing to bring food to the local homeless population. We learned in the first episode that he cares a lot about food waste, and we can tell that he clearly has cultivated a positive relationship with at least one unhoused community (See @wen-kexing-apologist post for more extensive thoughts about this).

gif by @pharawee

My good sis @shortpplfedup revived her Anatomy of a Scene series to talk about the final bed scene between Pat and Jeng to highlight how out of sync they are. We also have a great observation from @grapejuicegay about the parallels between the last bed scene with Put as well. I personally also like that Jeng is making a hot mess of things because I think we need to see competent people break sometimes. I like that Jeng is messing up here because he’s older than Pat. I like that Pat is recognizing that being an adult in a relationship is going to require him to also take charge in his relationships, and we get early signs of this with Jeng placing Pat higher than him on the bed, and also a specific linguistic slip that occurred during the car scene where Pat drops honorifics for Jeng (@chicademartinica).

My man is not well. I knew he was genuinely broken when he recoiled at Pat’s suggestion that the rest of the company was relying on him. This was one of his primary motivations for returning to the company in the first place, and he’s completely lost the thread of that because he just wants to be with Pat. I think Jeng will do better if he leaves the company and focuses on his humanitarian goals, and I am excited to see how the show faces that.

I Don’t Think the Romance Is the Goal

I do think that Pat and Jeng will get together. This is BL after all. However, like with Lovely Writer, I think the narrative goals are about how the societal systems around the romance complicate the romance and make it almost impossible. In Lovely Writer, it was the structures of BL production. In this show, it’s about the way corporate culture makes that impossible within the company.

I’ve been reading the posts where people are struggling with this show or frustrated with some of the decisions on the editing floor. Both @lurkingshan and @neuroticbookworm wrote about their feelings about the lack of emotional catharsis or the confusion around the pacing of the story. I see both perspectives and do genuinely share in these frustrations. However, much of my energy has been spent on how the side plots fit into this drama and what they reveal about the main couple as our vehicle through this story.

The Role of the Hets

I was chatting with @lurkingshan last night and I posited that Beam’s role in the story is to show what happens to the people who are cowardly in romance. I also just finished Coffee Prince, where I spent the entire time complaining to Shan about the messy hets in that show. @chicademartinica already did a good breakdown of this in her earlier post about how intentional Tee is being with these beats.

With Beam, he and Ae knew about the feelings that existed between them, but Beam never said anything or did anything with it. Ae may fuss with Khanun a lot, but he’s not afraid of her. He loves her. He is happy with the life they are building and he’s the one who fathered a child with her. Jeng and Put both failed to speak with Pat properly, and now he’s been forced to run away from them. Like Beam, they have been cowards in their relationship with him.

With Jaab and Jane, both are also an example of abject failure to discuss anything about their feelings for each other. Both are pining for the other and making life choices about the other without consulting the other. They keep meeting and clearly thinking about each other, but keep creating barriers between any kind of connection.

Chot is Everything

Chot. I will be writing an In Praise of… essay for Chat like I did for Framboise. We’ve talked about how Chot is an example of who Pat could be someday (@imminentinertia). I think it’s noteworthy that Chot mentioned that he and Krit have been struggling with the closet for eight years. Chot may be out and proud at work, but he’s closeted privately because his partner cannot share his life with him fully. I think it’s notable that it’s been eight years since SOTUS first aired, and Chot is a reminder that BL has a duty to the queers whose lives are packaged for mass entertainment in these stories.

I can’t find one of the posts right now, but I also agree that I think it would be satisfying for the story for Chot to take over Jeng’s role in the company. It felt extremely intentional to me that the Forge project was helmed by and starred almost exclusively gay/bi/femme men despite the funders and decision-makers having a weak understanding of BL and queerness itself. So many organizations rely on the emotional intelligence and availability of queer people to keep themselves running.

gif by @pharawee

I also feel like Tee wanted to do right by a character for Bruce this time. Many of us felt some kind of way about what happened to his character in Lovely Writer, and I like that he gets to be the first one to signal that the needle is moving a little bit. After eight difficult years, he and his partner are going to see his partner’s parents. Chot is a reminder that none of this stuff happens quickly. It’s been a year in the show for Jeng and Pat, but it’s been decades for some of us in the struggle for queer rights.

More than anything, I am glad that Pat has a queer friend who isn’t too much older than him to give him perspective. It’s imperative that we continue to show that queer people are rarely alone in their lives as adults. They’re finding their friends and community. We also take care of each other. Chot is not going to sit idly by and let the Baby Gay in the office flounder. He takes him under his wing at the expressed concern from Jeng.

Let’s Talk About Gay Sex

They showed Ben’s happy trail!!! I can’t believe it! We’ve come so far! These two can kiss!!

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

I really love these two jumping into a physical relationship quickly only for it to end up not working for Pat. Chot warned him that he was looking down on Jeng’s feelings. Jeng has more feelings than just his attraction to Pat, and that’s going to be the struggle for the rest of this show. Pat needs to see the totality of Jeng, and these two need to figure out what they want for themselves.

I can’t wait to see what triumphant sex looks like for these two.

Well, that’s all I’ve got this week. I’m enjoying unpacking this and La Pluie with everyone right now. Keep posting! Keep chatting! Tag me if you write more stuff! Thank you for coming to my post.

Also tagging @waitmyturtles because I feel for you and the struggles you're having with this project coming off of Tee's earlier work.

#step by step #step by step meta #thai bl #bl series #Ben Writes

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wrathsofgrapes · 7 months

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Concours de Femmes: Our Dirty Secret

There's a particular facet of womanhood and girlhood that I find to be barely talked about, usually only briefly mentioned in feminist discourse - the competition between women, and beauty standards as a means to even be accepted by other women. I feel like "the competition" (as I will now be referring to it) takes up such a large space within women's lives, and I would argue even more so than the approval and acceptance of men, such a large space that we have barely known alternatives, or what the lack of the competition could look like.

Mainstream feminist discourse often centers around the general idea that "women do not do [xyz] to please men!" - often referring to makeup, cosmetic surgery, and other aesthetic rituals. In reality, in many instances, it genuinely is partially for men, but I will argue that it is mostly for the approval of other women. Women want other women to be jealous of them. Women are in a constant competition to be the most desirable, the most fuckable, and on top of it all, we are in a competition to see who can pretend as though we are not even aware of the mere existence of the competition, who can convince other women that they are the most -effortlessly- desirable and fuckable. Because if you fit a certain beauty standard that traditionally fits what is called the "male gaze", then you also fit in with other women that are in the same place in "the competition" as you.

Mainstream feminist discourse too often focuses on what we, feminists, can do about men, when we, women, are just as wounded by our patriarchal matrix and heteronormative delusions. It is rarely discussed that women will go through lengths of extreme aesthetic alterations (nose jobs, BBLs, lip injections, and whatever else is popular right now) not only to fit the male gaze and feel that euphoric rush of male approval, but also to be accepted by groups of women, to fit into the "pretty" group, for other women to perceive you as competitor. Because ironically, it happens quite often where the more you are seen as competition, the more the competition want to be friends with you. Society loves a group of pretty women. Think of the Kardashians, the Real Housewives, the appeal of sorority culture, and think about how reality shows about groups of pretty women are often solely based around the competition between each other. Because the truth is, we (as a whole) have been conditioned to find entertainment in a "catfight", we're all perverts, eyes and ears glued to the objectified gaggle of women claiming to be "best friends" as they jump through hoops to see who can be the most successful in fame, desirability, money, and often intellect as well. We secretly want them to fail; we have been trained to secretly want our own friends to fail as well.

In terms of desirability, I will speak on personal experience when I say that in adolescence into young adulthood, most girls do not actually want to have sex, especially not with the partners that they usually "choose" in adolescence (I use the term choose very loosely. I actually think young girls often get tricked into thinking they have full control in their choices). No, rather, they would like to be desirable, fuckable. Not only that, but they would especially like to tell their friends about how desirable they are via tales of sexual and romantic (mostly sexual) exploits with boys. Sexual gossip is a very important bonding factor in friendships between girls and young women, and I will argue that for some it is one of the largest reasons why many will partake in our current zeitgeist's soulless digitalized hookup culture.

In high school, I was fascinated and intrigued to hear about the sexual adventures of my girl friends, not only because I had none, but also because none of these stories were positive. They made me sick to my stomach. Stories of boys who refused protection, stories of boys who coerced girls into anal sex, stories of dry, painful penetration, stories of boys getting girls too drunk or stoned to consent. And the girls? Too often did they tell me these stories with a proud smile on their face, thinking that it was funny, not a big deal. I think when you're young you thirst for experience whether it is good or bad. You want stories. You want to be interesting. You're definitely more interesting than your prudish and awkward friend (me). They liked it when I freaked out about these stories. They would reassure me that it wasn't a big deal, as if they were telling me that I will experience it one day, because they think every girl does, and that's just how it is. They liked feeling older, more mature and more experienced than me. They liked when I pried them about their sexual experiences in detail. I only pried because I wondered if they'd get to a point where they really heard themselves, and the words they were saying to me. I don't think anyone's really having any great sex in high school, and everyone was trying to convince everyone else that they were having great sex.

I feel for these girls. I feel for my sixteen year old self that secretly envied these girls. I acted shocked to them as they told me of these traumatic events with a smile on their faces, having read Germaine Greer and De Beauvoir, trying to explain to them why they deserve to be treated better, and how male validation is not worth it. They simply thought I was a silly virgin who did not understand. I secretly wished to have just not thought about these things. Back then I thought things would be so much easier, simpler, if I just let myself be treated that way. I would feel more loved. I would feel closer to my friends. I'd have some really "fun" stories to tell. I felt alienated from my friends because I couldn't relate. Back then I convinced people around me that I was not so lonely. That I didn't see a point in relationships, that I was too busy to bother with them (busy with what?? Algebra 1? Who was I fooling...). That I wasn't so interested in sex. I wanted to act like I was above sex and love (or what high schoolers thought love was). I even identified as asexual and later, gay, for some of this time because I felt so alienated from the adolescent rehearsal of heterosexual sex and love.

But that doesn't mean that I was above an interest in boys - especially platonically. I think I have noticed (as well as perpetrated) women and girls not only competing for sexual and romantic desirability in the eyes of men, but also platonic desirability (which in reality is often just hidden sexual desire because straight men and women often cannot fathom of pure platonic relationships between each other). An example of this is women having a complex, often encouraged by men, that they are "one of the boys". Women saying things like "I just get along better with guys", feeling a sort of competition to see who can have the most male friends. Women can be guilty of valuing men and male friendships over women, just as men can. Men often don't view women as -full people-, and maybe, just maybe, many women subconsciously feel this way too.

Don't get me wrong, I am definitely still trying to shake out of being entrapped within the competition. I think we all are, especially recently. But it's hard when one is surrounded solely by people who are perpetuating the competition further, when one is trapped. I get that. This post is definitely not to bash other women and girls for perpetuating the competition in any way. I was and probably always will be entrapped in the competition in one way or another. We women are all traumatized, brainwashed to romanticize that trauma, and brainwashed to compete in who has more of it, because -trauma makes you interesting-. I think it's getting better, I really do, but that might also be my experience from the people I choose to surround myself with and love. Sometimes I find myself talking with a girl who I would not normally talk to, and find myself back in high school again, prudish as she is beaming with tragedy.

I think when women live in more privileged societies in terms of gender equality (I mean as in, women who are not forced into marriages, are able to access education, etc.), internalized misogyny is just as important of an issue to address as the everyday misogynies of men. It is too often that men pit women against each other, especially explicitly, and women will agree and be complicit to it. It starts with recognizing the misogynies. It starts with analyzing why you -really hate that girl you have never talked to-. It starts with recognizing the difference in how you act around men versus around women.

Simply saying empty phrases like "girl power!" and "women need to stick together!" means nothing when we merely have an illusion of power and unity in groups of women, because due to internalized misogyny and the competition, what should be a "safe space" is filled with re-enforcers of our own oppression. Women often don't even feel safe in groups of other women, because within every woman is a little misogynist speaking in our ear. It starts with the slow and painful killing of that prick, who has been with you since you learned to speak, and has controlled your speech ever since.

#feminist critique #feminism #divine feminine #intersectional feminism #misandry #radical feminism #radical feminist community #gender critical #male violence #pick me girl #misogny #my opinion #judith butler #andrea dworkin #germaine greer #simone de beauvoir #girlhood #womanhood #feminine rage

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wordslikesilver · 3 months

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Seeing the discourse lately on transmisogyny and coming across new terms like tme and tma being used more than I think I’ve ever seen before because of everything going on had me uneasy, not gonna lie, I always do when I find new terminology from the alphabet mafia because I’m thinking to myself oh boy, more stuff to explain to cis people. Looked into it, it all seems pretty reasonable to me tho for including nonbinary femmes and femme intersex people I’ve sorta just always by default assumed “Trans Femme” was really good given the whole “it’s a spectrum and transmisogyny by definition is talking about the people on the femme side of it who didn’t start there” so admittedly I’ll probably be a grump about changing my vocab soon.

But then I see some new shit in the wake of all this TERF nonsense and bigotry being used against trans women? Detransitioned cis women calling themselves trans women and saying WE don’t understand the concept of gender well? The audacity? Look, changing the labels of a community to be less offensive is something I support so loudly and love and adore. This isn’t that. This is people encroaching on our pride and our identities and pretending the flag we nobly fly, the icon of bravery and unifying love in the face of oppression that it is, isn’t clearly “ours” enough. That it’s something they’re allowed to say belongs to them too so we need to come up with something new to call ourselves when we discuss the pain we face in our lives. Erasing and rewording the definitions of who we are til our identity is gone altogether. Moving the goal posts and telling us to teach everyone a whole new set of labels when the average layman still doesn’t even know that “Cis” isn’t a fucking slur, let alone what it means. Never forget that at your core when you fight against this new bigotry and they try to dance circles around you with their words and misdirect the conversation to stupid shit. Alienation from an already unified identity is a classic means of making it so much fucking harder for the oppressed to have their pleas for basic rights be acknowledged. Never let your people’s pain be silenced by someone pretending to they’re too stupid to know who you’re talking about.

To the TERFs and bigots who find this, and I fucking hope you find this, Trans Woman is not yours to fucking claim just because “gender is a construct and complicated” you will NEVER know the pain people like me have been through. I refuse to acknowledge a claim on my people’s identity because someone managed to misunderstand a concept hard enough and it’s now snowballed into a new form of complicating discussions of deserving basic and equal rights. I have felt the pains a cis woman has felt, I have felt sexist and awful treatment from men, I have been catcalled, I have been stalked, I have been made unsafe, I have been expected to be a mother for no other reason than “all women want them one day” and I have been assumed to be less than a man for some imagined frailty of the fairer sex. I am a woman. We can share that label, I WANT to share that label. We can bond over sapphic love and feminine experiences and hardships we both suffer under a cruel patriarchy. In just the same way, I have never known the pain of period cramps. I don’t have a vagina. I will never have a pregnancy scare and I will never feel the side effects of birth control. I wasn’t catcalled by gross men walking home when I was in high school. I was never sexualized by the media when I was in middle school the way cis girls would see happen to them. I am NOT a cis woman and I will never be one. I grew up as a boy, I lived and I loved as a young man, I saw the world through masculine eyes and was raised being treated as one, I will never pretend I know what it’s like to be a young girl being preyed upon and used by an older man. I will never touch that label because it’s simply not correct at the most fundamental level. I am a trans woman and that made me who I am. After all the people I’ve met and all the experiences I’ve shared, it took time to be so proud of calling myself a trans woman. Holding up the sky would’ve taken less strength of the heart, but now I feel the deepest pride knowing I’ve done something inconceivably harder.

But you, you people cannot take that from me and my sisters. I draw the fucking line at saying you think you have the slightest notion of what it’s like to be transfeminine. To be born in a body that makes people see you as a man from the very first glance, to hear you wrong from the first whisper of your voice. To spend the rest of your life working tirelessly in a fight against your own biology and/or the perception of the entire world whenever it casts its ugly eye upon you. Some of us don’t even have the privilege of fighting those perceptions or the things or own bodies have been programmed to force on us. Some of us don’t even want to have to do anything about how we look because it’s bullshit to have to fight for that basic respect from our peers in the first place and their standards just don’t align with who we are deep down in the first place! Gender is complicated but this isn’t. Have you EVER held your breath in the women’s public washroom and tucked your feet in because you were scared you’d make other women uncomfortable, because you’re not sure if you’re in an accepting space? FEARED what might happen if you step into the women’s change room to put on a bathing suit or your work clothes? Have you EVER been threatened with physical violence and called slurs in front of your own mother on public transit? Have you ever had to tell your doctor you’re ready to drop out of school to show how “sure” (re: fucking desperate) you are to be prescribed HRT? Sure, lots of cis women are on HRT, I treat them as patients all the time. Have you ever had a hot flash at the age of 21 because you were late on your injection? Did you pierce your skin with thin metal once a week for years and years to get the breasts you have? Did your body do irreparable things to your bones and your voice that make it so no one will ever see you as a woman at first glance without thousands of hours of effort, of tears, of sheer fucking focus and fixation on achieving the ideal self you see in your mind and dream of being one day? DID YOU HAVE TO BEG YOUR GOVERNMENT TO LET YOU HAVE THE BODY YOU LITERALLY ALREADY HAD AT BIRTH OR DID THEY NEVER EVEN SO MUCH AS TRY TO GET IN THE WAY OF JUST BEING CALLED MISS ON YOUR GOD DAMN LICENSE? Cis women can’t even begin to imagine the feelings I have felt, building my wings of feather and bones and wax, day after day, dreaming of flying beside my sisters who were born with wings they’ll never fear will melt, all the while remembering the last time someone born in a body like mine flew too close to the sun. Maybe they’ll perhaps know what it’s like to bind them to their back and hide them beneath their shirt, maybe they’ll even have sheered and ripped the bones from their sockets and one day wish they could have them back and sing with the rest of the angels like they used to, but they will NEVER fly on wings like mine, fear the heat from the light that makes life worth living the way I do, fear the same slings and arrows screaming up through the air from down below and even at times from above my head to let me know loud and clear they wanna knock me outta this sky, this sky that’s so beautiful and holy I cry when I touch it, the very first chance they get.

Transphobia won’t ever take the sky from me. My Icarian Wings are made on the foundation of generation after generation of my people who dreamed and yearned to touch the sunlight blue skies and the infinite glittering nights, each of us telling each other, telling ourselves we’ll never fear the light again one day, lifting each other when we fall, soaring higher each time than the ones whose wax melted before we could save them could, warmly teaching each other how to fix our broken wings and freely gifting each other the love it takes to make them stronger for the next flight. Holding each others hands as we dance and show each other how to fly, hand in hand and heart in heart with the angels who call us sister angels. A cis woman having the audacity to flap her never melting wings and saying hers are just like mine, that the name of my people is just a construct so she can say she she’s just like Icarus too, makes me wanna vomit. Pretending she knows what it’s like to watch in terror as all the feathers fall out suddenly in a moment of weakness making her break her bones upon the rocks, listening to everyone around her say “I knew it, I knew his wings were fake, look at him crawl along the ground in the dirt and the mud where he belongs.” Pretending that if two people both have skin, even of a different colour, that since the labels are made up, the sun and society itself will surely treat them the same if the white one calls themselves black.

Transphobia won’t ever take the sky from me. Come and fucking try to take these wings from me and see what happens.

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anotherradfemlesbian · 9 months

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Why are y’all condemning same sex attraction? Why are y’all reducing it to a sort of preference or a fetish for x genitals? Do you guys realize how incredibly homophobic this discourse y’all keep parroting is? Like, I’m done with this bullshit. Enough of masculine women claiming to be butch lesbians lusting after males. Same with the army of “femmes” who want “daddies girl-cock inside 🥺”. Enough of females that went from “not being like other girls” to being the most subversive people ever because they’re now trans gay boys who wear makeup and dresses and ohhh you’re so freaking cool lol. No. And on “trans lesbians”. You’re male. You literally can’t call yourself a lesbian. Leave us alone. Move on. Get out of our safe spaces. Please, do what you need to ease your dysphoria, have fun dressing, hope you find those who love and desire you. But, if you have some decency, please, stop calling yourself a lesbian. “Trans lesbian” was used to refer to trans men who felt attracted towards females (yk, same sex attraction but one of them has dysphoria and is trans, same as transmascs). And you took that term from them. You erased our history.

But no! It’s us, the bad cis lesbians and gays. We are so so mean to you! and so transphobic for not going to bed with you, my gosh! because our bodies don’t fucking work with someone of the opposite sex!!! Don’t go telling me this is due to trauma or I’ll fucking murder you.

Trans people and us were siblings until this batch of angsty teenagers, gorged on postmodern gibberish, arrived. You’re destroying decades of activism and education, you’re insulting us with the q slur. You’re all destroying our safe spaces, our communities, twisting our reality, claiming to be part of a community you don’t belong to. You’re ignorant homophobes. You have sentenced us. Fuck off.

#homophobia 2.0 #homophobia #lbgt #lesbian #gay #gender nonconforming #lgbtq #radblr #queer is a slur #lgbtq community #radfem #biphobia

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indiaalphawhiskey · 1 year

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Hi there. I was not a fan during LHH so I found your tags (agreeing with Gina's reply to an anon) interesting. I didn't realize that phase represented a rebellion for him. What else did he do to show his femme side during that period? Thanks!

Hey, love. I don’t have too much energy tonight, so I’m going to try and answer this as concisely as possible, but still give context.

Just to give a bit of personal background, I came into the 1D (not yet Larry, until about 4-5 months afterwards) fandom in 2015, right before Zayn left, so most of my observations are retrospective, vis-a-vis how I’m seeing the GP/hets react to LHH now.

So, at that point, Harry was already in his LHH era, but it had only gotten long enough that the GP were starting to notice it was purposeful and that he clearly was not planning to trim it/cut it back to Prince Hair. Since I was about 80-20 still in the GP, but was starting my 1D obsession, I had no one talk to about the boys except my IRL friends. And I remember distinctly that they were all convinced Harry was gay because of:

- LHH

- the patterned, unbuttoned polos

- his pretty “loud” affinity for YSL

- painting one nail or leaving one nail half painted

And to the lucky few in the know, also because of:

- the rumors that he was begged to wipe off his lipstick before a live taping of GMA, or so a CDAN blind said

As I delved further into fandom, I saw a broad and shallow part of discourse around all these things, but the loudest voices at the time (because I was on Twitter) were hets who were either: i) vehemently insisting he was ABSOLUTELY NOT gay or feminine or ii) being very vocal about how they were no longer attracted to him because of one or all of the reasons above.

Now, I know looking at both Harry and the world at present, none of the things I’ve listed seems remotely “femme” or earth-shattering, but again, this is where context matters.

It was 2015, so discussions regarding gender nonconformity were, in my humble experience, largely still limited to the LGBTQI+ community and had not made it into everyday, mainstream conversation yet. On top of that, Harry’s image was only just inching its way past the hyper teenage heartthrob frat boy phase but was only allowed to veer far enough that his style still “fit” with the rest of the boys and was designed to look more like the groups’ style maturing all together.

No one saw him as a fashion icon yet, because his image had been so carefully curated. So, when he came out wearing that black and white floral suit, standing next to the other boys, the statement read like rebellion, as opposed to him pushing the fashion envelope the way it does now.

Coupled with the fact that he was still, very much, seen as a member of a boyband, the GP didn’t see him growing his hair as any kind of homage or nod to Jagger or Lennon or Slash, because Harry’s image wasn’t at all in the realm of rock; he wasn’t even seen as a proper musician.

So if you put all those things together, you begin to see that growing his hair and painting his nails and dressing the way he did (as conservative as it may seem, compared to him now) was a big, big risk, considering how he was marketed, whom to, and the conversations that image of him was inspiring in those circles.

And that’s why, to me, LHH is one of the loudest, banging-on-the-glass-closetest eras of Harry there is, so it makes it very, very odd to see LHH characterized in Tiktoks as “Dark Harry”/the new “Fratboyrry”/het Harrie fantasy era.

#iaw ask #LHH #LHH as rebellion

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rollercoasterwords · 10 months

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different anon, but i thought we all agreed canon remus is a timid, sheltered boy? unlike the fanon's alphamale remus. i think that was an important point. don't know why you said like it was a personal interpretation. and i think when the anon called it fanon toxic heteronormative wolfstar, they meant the r & s in your fic are alphamale-ed remus & abused, shorter sirius. you can make disabled remus fight, but the alphamale-ification of him is. i think we writers should try to not spread that remus. man, i don't think you have to agree with the anon or me, you do you and we do we. sent it just to clarify a few stuff

you guys have caught me in a bad mood so fine let's get into it lmao

"i thought we all agreed canon remus is a timid, sheltered boy?"

well, you thought wrong!! generally speaking if you're saying "i thought we all agreed..." about something in fandom, you are wrong. this space is huge and there are tons of different interpretations of canon. i don't like all of them, but you know what i do when i don't like someone's interpretation? i unfollow them or block them or simply scroll past their post or don't read their fic!! it is sooooooo easy to ignore a stranger on the internet's take on harry fucking potter c'mon now

that being said, the idea that remus is "sheltered" in canon is laughable to me. that kid became a werewolf at six years old, he was forced to deal with the harsh realities of the world wayyyyyy before any of his friends. and i guess you could interpret him as timid, maybe, but i personally don't!! professor lupin in the books is incredibly vivacious, sarcastic, funny--plus, he spent his youth fighting voldemort + death eaters. none of that screams "timid" to me.

and, again, even if that was my interpretation of canon remus, this is not a canon-compliant fic. i am specifically putting the characters in a universe where voldemort won and they grew up separately, without all going to hogwarts together, and exploring my interpretation of how their personalities would change. remus in this world is definitely not fucking sheltered and he literally could not be timid if he wanted to survive. you don't have to read the fic if you don't like seeing him that way!

unlike the fanon's alphamale remus. i think that was an important point. don't know why you said like it was a personal interpretation.

again, the idea that "the fanon" is a single united entity is laughable. there are tons of fanon interpretations of remus. you can choose not to interact with the ones you dislike!!! and i said the "sheltered and timid" thing was a personal interpretation because it is.

and i think when the anon called it fanon toxic heteronormative wolfstar, they meant the r & s in your fic are alphamale-ed remus & abused, shorter sirius.

let's just say what you mean here: you think interpretations of r + s where one is more "feminine" and one is more "masculine" are heteronormative. i think that's bullshit! the idea that gay couples where one is more feminine and one is more masculine are "heteronormative" is the shit that's been ostracizing + marginalizing butches + feminine gay men within the queer community for literal decades--genuinely, it was (and continues to be, apparently!) a huge lesbophobic talking point in feminist circles that butch/femme relationships were un-feminist because butches were basically just "mimicking straight men." not only that, but it leads to pretty blatant transphobia on account of, y'know, trying to police people's gender presentation based on how you think someone of their gender is meant to present. so i don't have ANY fucking patience for this discourse and if you try to bring it to my blog you will get blocked.

and i'll address the idea that remus in my fic is an "alphamale" in a second, but for now--what about having one person be shorter and one person be taller in a relationship makes it heteronormative?? are short people automatically feminine to you?? and what about having one party being abused makes a relationship heteronormative?? is being abused an inherently feminine trait?? i'd recommend thinking about what exactly you're trying to claim here before you bring it to my askbox.

you can make disabled remus fight, but the alphamale-ification of him is. i think we writers should try to not spread that remus.

first of all, i think the idea that The Fandom is spreading some sort of plague of "alphamale remus" is silly. The Fandom is not a monolith; the majority of blogs + writers i follow portray him as a wet sock. so if you're being inundated with "alphamale remus" content that you don't like, start learning to use the block button.

beyond that, the interpretation that remus is an "alphamale" in my fic at all just tells me that both you and the first anon have not read the fic in its entirety. the only reason i can imagine that the first anon even brought that up is the fact that remus is in a werewolf fighting ring and acts flirty with sirius when they first meet. we get an entire chapter from remus's perspective where we learn that this is a specific persona he has had to adapt to survive, and we also learn that he is fighting in this werewolf fighting ring for reasons that are specifically tied to the way he is marginalized in this fictional society. the fic spends a ton of time exploring the way his marginalization has shaped his life and i spend over 20k words writing his pov in his head demonstrating that his anger comes from that marginalization, and that the "aggression" he is interpreted as having is a) partially stereotyping because he's a werewolf and b) partially a persona he has to adapt to survive in the werewolf fighting ring. again, if you don't like reading him like that then you don't have to read the fic. but the idea that fighting other werewolves specifically as a facet of the ways in which werewolves are oppressed in this society is something that makes him an "alpha male"....i mean if that's what you're taking away from it then i simply don't want you to read my fics in the first place.

man, i don't think you have to agree with the anon or me, you do you and we do we. sent it just to clarify a few stuff

the first anon literally asked me to rewrite my fic. sure, i could have just ignored the message and blocked them, and maybe i should have--but like i said, you guys caught me in a bad mood, and this is my blog, so. to answer that ask, i actually did have to disagree with them, because i had to say, "no, i will not rewrite the fic." and you've put me in a position where i actually do have to disagree as well, by saying stuff like "i thought we all agree," where not saying anything would be tacit agreement when i don't agree. i will do me, and i suggest you and the first anon go do you far away from that, because it seems like it would be better for everyone involved! i don't really care if you think you were being polite or helpful with this message; i didn't need you to clarify, and i did not need the holier-than-thou moralizing about what "we writers" should do when it's not even something i'm doing.

again, i don't care if people don't like my fic. just don't read it!!!! and just don't follow this blog!!! there is literally zero point in sending me messages like this nitpicking interpretations, especially not when the crux of your issue is that i'm making wolfstar "heteronormative," an argument that is deeply rooted in homophobia and transphobia. felt like ranting tonight, but generally speaking i will just block anyone who brings that shit into my askbox.

#ask #wfrau

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southieparkie · 1 year

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Hot Take Bunny Headcanons and Responses to Common Bunny Arguments that Really Aren’t Even Hot Takes Now That I’m Reading Over Them But Whatever Lol.

I’m gonna start off with some good ol’ headcanons.

Butters is a short king and Kenny is a tall king. That’s just how it is.

I headcanon that although Butters is fairly secure in his identity as an AMAB, he still finds comfort in, and even encourages, feminine pet names. Kenny calls him “princess,” “wife,” and very jokingly, “babygirl”

Butters smokes. Kenny is a stoner. Argue with ya mama. Also Kenny gets pissed sometimes because Leo gets lipgloss on his blunts and it just throws off his mojo. But he can’t stay mad at him for long <3

Bunny is a pretty couple. I don’t care they just are. Kenny has a very pretty face, very charming and very handsome. And Butters. Butters is fucking gorgeous. All of his bullies in elementary school got ugly. Him, though? He got his glow up.

I am a huge fan of flirtatious Butters. LIKE. HUGE FAN.

Bunny is ADHD x ADHD couple I’m correct I’m correct I’m correct.

I actually really like the idea of rebellious reckless Kenny. Like, that’s my shit right there. Because if he is, and he gets hurt, that gives Butters an excuse to doctor him up and be all fluffy with him.

Vic Chaos is Dr. Mccormick’s sugar mama-

Fuck y’all “Buttercup” is an adorable nickname. Nicknames in general are just adorable.

All of my other “hot-take” headcanons are inappropriate. So I’m not gonna talk about them-

What I wanna do now is take a minute (or twenty) to talk about common discourse-starters in the Bunny fandom.

But first, I wanna reiterate one more time. When I say butters is gnc, he is a gnc CREATUREEEEE. He is hyper-femme (me fr). He has meltdowns about his trauma, then covers his tears with makeup (me fr), he expresses his feelings through his sewing machine (kinda sorta me fr), has the best outfits in school (me fr), and will key your car :)

But don’t assume that I also believe he’s a meak, powerless, washed up little baby just because I headcanon that he’s gnc (If you automatically associate femininity with any of these traits, I’m gonna give you the nastiest side eye.) Butters, from what I can understand, is a slick little guy. He’s shady, he’s a gossiper, he’s prone to snapping at people, and I’m happy (<- lying) to admit that he has this weird jealousy relationship thing going on with women. Personality ≠ Hair and Makeup and feminine outfits. Those are two totally seperate things.

Protective Kenny

In terms of Bunny, people say that Kenny would not be Butters’ protector/save his little meow meow from the evil Stephen-Wephen. I’d like to argue that both of these aren’t outlandish ideas. They just need to be done right in order to seem legit.

Protective Kenny is such a real and accurate headcanon because…that’s who he is! That’s what he does! He protects his little sister from their questionable foster home and strange new school, he protects his friends from Cthulu’s clutches by stating that he’ll die for good if it means that his friends would be safe, he voluntarily goes to hell to protect the fucking world!

Question, if this boy is willing to sacrifice so much to make sure nothing harms who/what he loves, why is it so jaw-dropping to say that he would do so for his boyfriend?

I do get that this headcanon can be trivializing because, yeah, it does kinda bolster the whole “meak little overly-dependent meow meow” pretense onto Butters. Yes, Butters most likely will stand up to his parents one day all by himself, but what happens when Stephen inevitably responds negatively? I feel like Butters would double down after seeing Stephen’s reaction to being yelled at. Because snapping and delivering one loud, detailed, emotional monologue triggered by years of hurt, anger, and mental disintegration isn’t going to magically undo the complience, discipline, and obedience Stephen has drilled into his head.

Butters is going to back down and go back to obeying his father because it’s instinctual. And because of that, he needs someone to step in and encourage him to not fall into this headspace. He needs someone to let him know that what he feels isn’t disobedience, it’s his conscience recognizing that this is bullshit. And if that backfires, then yeah, Kenny’s gonna take matters into his own hands.

Now, the dramatic dinner table scene that ultimately leads to a shootout between Mr Stotch and Kenny while Butters watches on in fear while pissing his pants, and then Kenny shooting Mr and Mrs Stotch dead and running away with Butters to California (or vice versa) is kind of a stretch. But to defend the people who may see it as one big showdown: it’s South Park! You think these characters are going to sit over cups of tea and have a civil conversation? No! Sure, you’re allowed to dislike that outcome and dislike the fact that people write it in fanfics, but you can’t really blame authors for writing it this way because the source material is batshit insane. Think about it this way, if Matt and Trey were to write a scene where Butters stands up to his father and Kenny is there to back him up, do you think they would either:

A) Write it like this: Butters blows up at his dad, his dad retaliates, they eventually settle down and have a reasonable conversation, and then everything is fixed…

B) Write it like this: Butters blows up at his dad, his dad retaliates, Kenny steps in, Mr Stotch attacks him, they get into a gunfight with lasers and condoms rain down from the sky and Mrs Stotch flashes her tits and there’s totally unsubtle political commentary in the form of a satirical new character nobody cares about and Holy Shit, is that Joe Biden on a bicycle?!?!

Idk. I’m neither Matt nor Trey. So anyway, Kenny is a protective boyfriend.

Stephen-Hates-Kenny

I honestly don’t think Stephen would hate Kenny as much as Bunny fans think he would. Although he’s a crude kid and one that’s mysterious and questionable when it comes to making money, it’s not like he’d be outright vitriolic towards him at first sight.

What I think does happen is that Stephen starts to dislike Kenny because he can tell that Kenny has an obvious influence over his son. If his son doesn’t meet the standards that he aggressively sets for him, and he knows that an outside force is disturbing that process, then yeah. I would assume that Stephen wouldn’t like whoever that “outside force” is because that person is taking control away from him. Not because he’s poor, or a manwhore, or even because Stephen and Stuart may or may not dislike each other. It’s simply because he’s no longer allowed to manipulate and warp his son into what he believes should be the standard, because Butters is starting to think for his own and not living by the ideals and harsh life lessons his father is instilling in him.

Homophobic Stephen Stotch

Okay, this one has takes that I both agree and disagree with. Some Bunny fans think that Stephen would be totally homophobic and unsupportive of his relationship, others believe that he wouldn’t care much in that regard and even support him. Both sides just seem fundamentally weird? To me? I don’t think that he’s homophobic, per se, but I definitely don’t think he’d support it full out.

The main evidence people use in this debate to prove that Stephen isn’t homophobic is the fact that Stephen Stotch…is literally gay himself. He has a history of going to gay bathouses and watching explicit gay films. So yeah, if this is a thing, then how would he be homophobic? Easy answer. Stephen doesn’t seem all too proud of himself for his behavior. In the same episode, he expresses to his wife that he doesn’t want to be this way. So yeah, he’s fruity, but in a “Catholic gay man is ashamed of his wicked ways and wants to undo his sins before God” way, or whatever the hell.

But that isn’t it, there’s another piece of evidence that argues that he is homophobic, and that’s the infamous “Butters Bisexual” episode. When Butters is almost tricked into sexually gratifying Cartman, his father walks in. Petrified, he sends him away to a gay conversion camp. Pretty harsh stuff, and pretty telling of where he stands in terms of homosexuality, specifically when it pertains to his son. At the end of the episode, though, he…accepts? His son for being bi-curious. And then the bi-curiosity is no longer explored nor mentioned or alluded to for the duration of the show up to season 26.

I feel like another vital piece of evidence that happens to be forgotten when having this conversation is how Stephen responds to Butters getting into a relationship period. He doesn’t seem apalled by his son getting a girlfriend at all, leaving us with the conclusion that Stephen isn’t against the prospect of his son finding a partner. But it still leaves a few questions unanswered, the main one being If Stephen is okay with a straight relationship, what would his reaction to a gay relationship be?

In my opinion, I really think it’s all a matter of perception and interpretation. The problem in this discourse isn’t exactly the idea of Stephen being homophobic or supportive. (either interpretation is backed up by canon, so it’s a matter of choice really) The main issue that people take in this aspect of Bunny is the extremity of either interpretation. Rampant Homophobe Stephen Stotch kicking his son out and murdering his son’s promicuous boyfriend v.s Accepting Healing Understanding Stephen Stotch who loves his son and embraces his son and his boyfriend with loving, caring arms. Neither of these are accurate responses to the supposed scenario of Kenny and Butters dating to me.

Raging Homophobe? No.

Accepting Ally Parent? Not exactly.

Closeted Gay Man who renounces his own homosexuality as well as his son’s? Yeah, that’s probably it. But IMO a combination of both sides of the discourse can be accurate and interesting if explored with nuance and an extra dose of consideration. I’m down with either.

Womanizer/Cheater Kenny

Uh. Idk. I do think it’s a little strange that people translate “10 Year Old Boy is exposed to sexual content and infatuated with it” to “He will grow up and get around with many girls (and maybe many boys).” Ultimately, though, it isn’t something I have extreme hatred towards, moreso something that I just. Scratch my head at. And don’t really have any need to talk about. Then again, it’s not a headcanon that has no evidence to back it up. Kenny does pursue sexual encounters even at a young age. He spent what I’m assuming to be multitudes of money to buy a concert ticket and condoms, and then he sat down and watched over an hour of said concert, solely to get a BJ from Tammy Warner. So, yeah, maybe he is seeking out stuff he shouldn’t be seeking. Plus, when you take puberty and hormones into consideration, Kenny might find himself persuing a few sexual encounters as a teenager.

One scenario that I see in Bunny fics a lot that really doesn’t make sense to me is Kenny selling himself for money. Like, yeah, okay, that headcanon is also backed up by canon. He was offered $20 (I think?) to give a popular radio host a BJ. But idk? I feel like that’s something the fandom should talk about more.

Cheating Kenny just pisses me off. Like, what? The most loyal character on this show would not cheat on any of his partners, and he sure as hell wouldn’t cheat on Butters. And you can play the “it’s for angst purposes!” card all you want, but out of all of the angsty shit both of these characters go through, you wanna take the easy way out? Yeah, no. We’re not even gonna go there.

Going Native

“Going Native had no particular moments that would ever allude to Kenny and Butters becoming a thing!”

Yeah. Exactly. That’s kinda the point of crackships. You don’t need any pivitol moment to justify the ship, you just need two characters, an Ao3 account, and a broad imagination. Besides, Going Native develops Kenny and Butters’ friendship. And where there’s friendship, there’s also potential for a romantic relationship!

Angst vs Fluff

I’m sorry, but if you base a ship’s validity/quality on the angst-to-fluff ratio, I just think that’s rather silly. People often make the claim that Bunny is a boring ship because it’s too fluffy and every time I see that take I just have to internally face palm. Isn’t that…good? Isn’t fluff a good thing?

I think the reason people don’t like overly-fluffy ships is because fluffy content in general mostly consists of nothing but cuddling, dates, wedding, domestic endeavors, and overall cuteness. Nothing about fluff makes you think, and that’s the point.

What drives them away from all of that is the obvious lack of sadness. It’s showing only one side of the story. In some cases, people wanna see a breakup, trauma, another breakup, an impromptu suspected cheating arc, character development, some more of that good old trauma, and then you can get to the cuddling. Kind of like a reward for using your brain and analyzing the characters first before portraying the romantic and silly stuff. But if you specifically enjoy the cuteness of the cuddling, then you’re neglecting to mention the characters’ dramatic backstories and placing a magnifying lense on only their good, loving qualities. Which isn’t inherently bad?

Like, yeah, I like angst too. Sometimes, I need to see my babies hurt so that I can see how they cohesively decide to move forward as a couple. Cool, three-dimensionality. But what if I just want to see Kenny and Butters rub their noses together like cute baby cows in love? What if I wanna see them awkwardly fumble and cutely make mistakes in an effort to make their first date the most perfect evening of their lives? Shit, what if I just wanna read about them having a pillow fight and playing footsies under the covers? Wanting either of these things is not a bad thing to want.

Now it’s very plausible that I’m just running my mouth here and people simply want to read about character depth in fanfics. That’s fine! We all have our preferences! But when you start disliking a ship simply because the popular consensus among the ship’s fanbase is that it’s fluffy, then I just think that’s a little silly.

In my opinion, yes! Bunny is a very fluffy ship! However, with both of these characters having a history of trauma and abuse on them, chances are you’re not going to get fluff 100% of the time. There will be fights, there will be hardships. Hell, if people are bold enough to portray such a thing in fanfic, and if it’s done in a way that is tasteful and in no way romanticized, then there may even be some abuse or manipulation thrown in there as well. It’s not a crazy concept, the cycle of abuse is a real-life thing that real-life couples struggle with.

Whether or not these struggles are portrayed is up to the author of the work. But if you don’t see any of that in Bunny fanfics, then you are capable of being the author that takes that risk and writes about it in your own fanwork!

ok thats all i can think of im gonna go drink some apple juice now

#south park #sp #leopold butters stotch #kenny mccormick #sp bunny #kenny x butters #friendly reminder that as i am posting this it is STILL bhm #which means i am correct and immune to criticism about this post /j #/j

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punkeropercyjackson · 4 months

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In our imaginary Outlaws show, who'd be the character fans would go from hating to loving?

Hmmm tbh i think most of the gang would get mixed reviews.Like:

Jason is one of thee most controversial comic characters ever but ultimately by the end of the show he'd have mostly positive opinions with a small but loud minority of weirdo antis(basically the Catra treatment)

Summer would get so Orihime'd.......He'd never know peace from nonblack/allistic/cis Jason simps BUT thankfully he'd be a fan fave among autistic,femme and black woman fans!!People who hate Jaysumm would rightfully get called homophobic and misogynoiristic too

Rose would mostly be pretty beloved thanks to her trans mean wlw swag but certain white girls would call her 'problematic' and she'd get under dudebros skin for not being Jason's big tiddy goth gf fantasy(especially because she's small chested and it's a delibaret design to show her transfemininity)

Thad gets called a brat a lot for realistic mentally ill kid rep and being visibly black but is a fan fave by season 3

Artemis would always be a discourse starting character but by 'discourse',i mean people on all sides getting pissy that a brownskin egyptian woman is allowed to look gnc with no feminization and be a fully fleshed out character with butch personality traits too who's just as powerful as everybody else.Summtemis gets people other than Jaysumm and Jaytemis shippers big mad too LMFAO

Imani.......Hard to say but definitely faces a lot of the same treatment Summer does with the addition of transmisogynistic rep accusations from tmes(tgirls would DIE for her though)and by season 8 if you don't like Imani the fandom's like 'That's embarrasing,keep that shit to yourself'

White fandom parents are very weird about Mathew because he's a white boy-As in,the same way Toh 'crits' are about Hunter-but the general conseus in the fandom is that he's very likekable and a refreshing change from most characters in his tropes

The rest of us would be pretty positively recieved from start to finish i think!!Jennifer especially <3

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fictionadventurer · 12 days

Text

The more I think about it, the more upset I get that people kept mentioning Vanity Fair as a classic Victorian novel and making it sound all depressing, and not a single person mentioned it contained passages like this:

All which details, I have no doubt, Jones, who reads this book at his Club, will pronounce to be excessively foolish, trivial, twaddling, and ultra-sentimental. Yes; I can see Jones at this minute (rather flushed with his joint of mutton and half-pint of wine), taking out his pencil and scoring under the words "foolish, twaddling," &c., and adding to them his own remark of "quite true." Well, he is a lofty man of genius, and admires the great and heroic in life and novels; and so had better take warning and go elsewhere.

Or this:

I know that the tune I am piping is a very mild one, (although there are some terrific chapters coming presently) and must beg the good-natured reader to remember, that we are only discoursing at present, about a stock-broker's family in Russell-square, who are taking walks, or luncheon, or dinner, or talking and making love as people do in common life, and without a single passionate and wonderful incident to mark the progress of their loves. The argument stands thus—Osborne in love with Amelia, has asked an old friend to dinner and to Vauxhall—Jos Sedley is in love with Rebecca. Will he marry her? That is the great subject now in hand. We might have treated this subject in the genteel, or in the romantic, or in the facetious manner. Suppose we had laid the scene in Grosvenor-square, with the very same adventures—would not some people have listened? Suppose we had shown how Lord Joseph Sedley fell in love, and the Marquis of Osborne became attached to Lady Amelia, with the full consent of the Duke, her noble father: or instead of the supremely genteel, suppose we had resorted to the entirely low, and described what was going on in Mr. Sedley's kitchen;—how black Sambo was in love with the cook, (as indeed he was), and how he fought a battle with the coachman in her behalf; how the knife-boy was caught stealing a cold shoulder of mutton, and Miss Sedley's new femme de chambre refused to go to bed without a wax candle; such incidents might be made to provoke much delightful laughter, and be supposed to represent scenes of "life." Or if, on the contrary, we had taken a fancy for the terrible, and made the lover of the new femme de chambre a professional burglar, who bursts into the house with his band, slaughters black Sambo at the feet of his master, and carries off Amelia in her night-dress, not to be let loose again till the third volume, we should easily have constructed a tale of thrilling interest, through the fiery chapters of which the reader should hurry, panting. Fancy this chapter having been headed THE NIGHT ATTACK. The night was dark and wild—the clouds black—black—ink-black. The wild wind tore the chimney-pots from the roofs of the old houses and sent the tiles whirling and crashing through the desolate streets. No soul braved that tempest—the watchmen shrank into their boxes, whither the searching rain followed them—where the crashing thunderbolt fell and destroyed them—one had so been slain opposite the Foundling.

And then he proceeds to write in the style of three alternate genres for half the chapter before getting back to the story!

There is zero fourth wall here! So much meta-commentary! So much sarcasm! Not since Jules Verne have I encountered an author who was so obviously having this much fun writing his story.

And no one had the decency to tell me that it might be fun to read!

#books #vanity fair #this is like austen meets wodehouse turned up to like 100 #the sarcasm does get a bit overwhelming at times (no one is safe from mockery)#so i might have to pace it #but he's clearly having so much fun that it doesn't seem mean-spirited so much as lively #like he's a friend making jokes or maybe a stand-up comedian #and i can't begrudge him the fun he's having

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