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wiiildflowerrr · 1 year

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@5SOS: SHOUT OUT TO THE OLD ME

21 February 2020

@Calum5SOS: OLD ME OUT NOW

@Ashton5SOS: @Calum5SOS Love you cal, we’ve come a long way brother ❤️

#3 years of old me #this day in 5sos history #5sos #5 seconds of summer #calum hood #ashton irwin #luke hemmings #michael clifford #childhood photos #5sos old me #2020 #21 february #twitter!5sos #hibs shirt #hibernian #mickey ears #fetus cal #cashton #brotherly love

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fanfoolishness · 10 months

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sometimes Cal Kestis makes me want to cry my eyes out and protect him forever

but sometimes I do have to look a little disrespectfully at arms and freckles

#cal kestis #jedi survivor #jedi: survivor #note: this only happens to Survivor!Cal #FallenOrder!Cal is a smol precious bean and practically a fetus #but Survivor!Cal is a snack it must be said #cameron monaghan

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lashton-is-my-drug · 1 year

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Lashton Timeline Masterpost; using 5sos and solo albums for eras

Using 5sos albums to show an overview/condensed relationship era timeline, using selected tracks. Release date is in parenthesis. Keep in mind, albums are recorded AT LEAST 6-8months before released, more typically closer to a year earlier.

A note I do want to make is that the affection between members of the band, and the fact they knew, and even created their pairing names, normalized and arguably fed into the "shipping" culture that happened. This has caused confusion throughout the fandom in delineating what friendship looks like and what a relationship looks like. Friendship is where the best relationships are based. How many times have you heard couples say that their partner is their best friend. All of the boys are best friends as well as soulmates, as themselves have stated.

Now with that out of the way....

(Gif: Fetus Lashton)

Luke's mom is Ashton's maths teacher 2009- 2010 school year.

Then at some point Luke and Ash are both at the cinema where Luke is getting bullied by some kids and Ashton steps in and defends Luke (knight in shining armor anyone???). I will make another post about the timeline of the band and Lashton. For this timeline though, I will be focusing on their music.

(December 2012) “Somewhere New” first EP

“Out of My Limit” [Luke songwriter] - Special attachment to this song as it was performed in 10th Anniv YT Show. The lyric referencing 2 years matches up with how long Luke and Ashton knew each other. Calum and Michael met in 3rd grade, Luke went to the same school with Cal and Michael. Also, Ash was the only one to have jobs to help with expenses. [[Side note: Something that’s been on my mind is how “meet split ends” could be a double meaning to reference the band Split Endz (same lead singer is in Crowded House. SE was prior to CH. Lead singer is known in the industry for his songwriting skills. Ash is a fan of Crowded House.)]]

“Beside You” [Luke songwriter] - It’s a song of longing. During an interview, Ash attempted explaining the meaning is one can of beans is with another can of beans, but there’s another can of beans that wants to be with one of them. He lost confidence in his explanation so he didn't continue on with it. 🥺☹️

(Gif: March 13, 2013 Ash London interview Ash leans over and kisses Luke's shoulder after caressing Luke's hair. Cal leans over onto Luke's other shoulder (doesn't kiss him ofc to try to cover it up) The interviewers don't even acknowledge it happening. Link

Pictured: April 14, 2013 Tweet posted by Luke then deleted, confirmed by an OG 5SOS fan)

Gif: October 30, 2013 Melbourne, Aus with their parents in the audience. During the song "Teenage Dream", which is already a suggestive song in of itself, Luke walks over to Ash with a huge grin on his face during the line "let you put your hands on me in my skin tight jeans" Then Ash sings the "let me be your teenage dream tonight" right into Luke's ear, while Ash is doing a rock n' roll suggestive shoulder roll. Luke is all for it. Link

Photo: Luke's mom takes photo of the moment and posts it to her socials

(June 2014) “Self-titled” album

Lashton young love era continues. Learning how to craft songs and production and forming a bond with producer/mentor John Feldmann. “She Looks So Perfect” single released March 2014.

This is strongly shown through songs like “She Looks So Perfect” (originally completely gender neutral in lyrics and title “You Look So Perfect”), “End Up Here” “Don’t Stop”, “Long Way Home”. SLSP and EUH have direct evidence about Luke and Ash’s relationship starting. The rush of first meeting your person and first love. ❤️

(June 15, 2014) "Don’t Stop” EP

“Don’t Stop” [Luke and Cal songwriters] confirmed lgbt on Track by Track YouTube video, Cal tells Michael he wrote it for him, meanwhile Luke and Ash are specifying a whole backstory which includes drinking at a party. The boys already did have experience drinking, even though not legally allowed yet. Luke's cheeky love song. Ash has a brave moment of adding that it can be about a boy, then Luke agrees with him. Remember, Ash didn't write it.

“Try Hard” Start of lyrics mentioning roses in Lashton songs, Luke and Ash present day have matching rose tattoos.

“Out of My Limit” included on EP.

(March 2014) “SLSP” Ep +B sides

“Wherever You Are” [Luke songwriter] Experiencing a special closeness with someone but unable to be together because of forces, have to hold back “every night I almost call you just to say it always will be you”, “you can say we’ll be together someday”, “I know I shouldn’t tell you”, “why can’t I stop feeling this way”, “but there’s nothing that compares to what we had, and so I walk alone”.

(October 2015) “Sounds Good Feels Good” album

Focused on mental health, trying to figure out how to handle pressures of the industry on one's self identity, and navigating relationships with one another. Full of teen angst. Heavily working with John Feldmann. Proving themselves to the industry.

Luke and Ash getting even more seriously involved (evidenced by “Vapor” “Waste The Night”)

(Gif: Nov 2015, Ashton showering Luke with love on the couch moment included in How Did We End Up Here 5sos documentary video. Ash is all happiness while again, Luke is enjoying the heavy affection from him.)

(June 2018) “Youngblood” album

Luke and Ash really step up as lead songwriters. Right after the end of tour sometime in August of 2017, the two of them go to Stockholm, Sweden together to immerse themselves in honing the craft of songwriting with Rami Yacoub and Carl Falk.

(Gif: May 28, 2017 Luke says he would "follow him to the end of the Earth" Link)

(Sept 13th, 2017) Luke tweets for Australia to legalize same sex marriage (he very rarely talks about political issues),

October 10th, 2017 Ash next to Luke, while in the car with Luke driving and Cal in the backseat, proudly announces “Luke lives with me now” via instagram livestream. Link

Oct 15th, Ash, makes sure everyone is aware they definitely are living together, tweets about him and Luke living together complete with a cute video of them in living room together. Link

Oct 20th, 2017 Australian marriage equality account tweets to Ash asking for a follow to be able to DM, Ash replies with “Done 🌈❤️”. Visuals take a much more purposeful presence than ever before during this era. During promo for YB, Luke and Ash wear matching rings.

Lyrically the song “Youngblood” seems to be wanting each other but with a bit of angsty sexuality and the games that are played.

“Valentine” [Ash songwriter] Ash directed the music video, music video included LGBT imagery. Genius interview, Sex and romance doesn't need a specific day, it should be all the time. Luke makes sure to say “it’s sweet”.

“Better Man” recorded in Bon Jovi’s guitarists house (Luke’s fave band), Luke said it was him being in “a very self-destructive place” “then juxtaposed in the chorus” of finding someone loving.

“Empty Wallets” Ashton trying to impress Luke by giving Luke money to spend, but then not approving of how he spent it (lyrics reference drugs). Ash does however, believe in second chances (Cocktail Chats). An interview exists that Ashton speaks about spending money on a partner, which insinuates its his love language.(I would include reference to interview but I don't remember which one, I've watched too many to remember which one, sorry) He's bought Luke expensive multiple custom leather jackets, and has made social media posts showing off such gifts. There's no evidence, as far as I know of, Ash buying lavish gifts for Cal or Michael. Yes, Ash bought all four of them brotherhood necklaces, which are meaningful, but there's nothing lavish, like custom leather jackets.

“Want You Back” During Zach Sang interview, Ash says it describes “falling in real love and it determines the way you go in relationships the rest of your life, frustration of not finding that again, [It’s] not the actual person”. Paying attention along the years how much Luke and Ash are on the same wavelength in interviews and such, like finishing each other’s sentences and connecting on each other’s thoughts and how affectionately (not the same affection towards Michael or Cal) they act towards each other. Luke “lyrics are sad, but upbeat [musically]”. Includes another reference to roses. Ash has worn a roses shirt. "Freckles on your back" Luke has freckles. Luke starts feeling comfortable enough to wear makeup in the music video. Wearing makeup is a big thing to the guys because of conservative views on gender norms they were surrounded by in Australia. Rainbow music video, with room for interpretation.

“Ghost of You” Band was/is escapism (started day 1 as escaping Aussie), this line is queer coded “my feet don’t dance like they did with you”, “(Led) Zeppelin shirt” is Ash, Ash has expressed that this song is emotionally meaningful numerous times ever since released. I have a whole lyrical analysis posted.

“Meet You There” Right person wrong time, will be together when time is right. Easily consider this as queer flagged relationship that can't be together for certain reasons...

"Midnight" Bonus track. Has an incredibly queer flagged theme of only being able to love someone at night, never in the light.

"Monster Among Men" Another bonus track. Queer flagged song. "I'm so bad for you", this song is so filled with testosterone.

"When You Walk Away" Another bonus track. "Such a sentimental love, In a cynical world". Yet another song about outside judgements on being with a lover, a common theme weaved throughout 5sos and solo discography..

(Gif: Calum's recording of Luke and Ash being adorable goofballs together moment, included in a 5SOS tour diary. Dare I include that while Ash and Luke are boyfriend'ing, Luke's beard is on the same boat...)

(Pic: Jun 6, 2017 Luke posts a photo to his IG captioned "ashtonio irwinie". Luke and Ash cozy during what can be construed as a date night. Link )

(March 2020) CALM album

Maturing even more into their adult life era

“Red Desert” Motivation as a band. Having a reason and muse that keeps you going for a goal. Luke and Ash are each other’s muse (soulmates, twin flames).

“Old Me” Moving through and past hard partying days, messing up but then working on what will make you a good partner

“Teeth” Lies giving butterflies, music video shows rainbows on Luke and shows Ash for lyric about seeing as "my wife". Theme of torment and working through each of their barriers/struggles. Ash posted an acoustic guitar version where the torment is clear. Later, when 5sos5 album is released, Ashton says it contains working through barriers.

“Wildflower” pop love song. Music video is rainbows galore including starting and ending with 5sos themselves as a rainbow. Ash tweet announcement includes rainbow. Ash is very proud of this song.

“Best Years” Luke professing his love, features The Edge guitar part. See my lyric analysis.

“Not In The Same Way” Luke looking at his mistakes from his and another perspectives (as per Luke), Ashton via ig livestream: “the concept’s beautiful. We love each other but not in the same way”. Luke: “chaotic relationship”, hurt each other “when you were just friends”. This wouldn’t match with being about Sierra since they were narratively shown together and narratively so quickly together as a couple. No time to be friends.

This song is a precursor to “COMPLETE MESS”.

“Lover of Mine” Luke and Ash devoted love song, having to deal with lies, “dance around the living room”, “when I look at my life and all of my crimes, you’re the only thing I think I got right” “kaleidoscope mind” 🌈 “seen the red, seen the blues”. This song describes a relationship that’s experienced a lot together.

“Lonely Heart” Ash pauses during his solo track by track IG live to take an emotional moment. Rainbow hearts lyric video. “Native of mine, you’re just my kind” (hello soulmates!!), dancing inside a burning house, being pulled apart from each other and hating the feeling of that, “I’ll always follow, I promise you, until the end of time” (refer back to Luke saying in interview he would "follow [Ash] to the end of the Earth"). When Michael suggests it’s Luke’s least fave song on CALM during a CapitalFM interview, Ash immediately says "I'm signing off". Michael has a pattern of razzing the guys like this.

Screenshot: Official audio video for "Lonely Heart". Rainbow hearts 🌈

“High” There’s an awkward back and forth when talking about this track during Ash London interview. The person is selfishly calling the other person to tell them they’ve changed. Double meaning: high as in smoking mj, or thinking well of this person. There’s a tone Luke and Ash are each speaking with. Luke sounding apologetic, Ash sounding perturbed.

Luke and Ashton release solo albums in between 5sos albums.

(2020) Ashton's album "Superbloom"

"Sunshine" Song includes lyrics... "Satellite dreams" feeling like he's alien. Doesn't fit in with humanity. Queer flagging. "Expensive perfumes, Ladies do not lose, Playin' but not on the team" and reference to living in a cage. Closeted queer flagging.

"Perfect lie" about having to tell lies with his partner, gender neutral. Closeted queer flagging. Album filled with torment despite publicly at the time being supposedly in a happy relationship with a female.

"I'm To Blame" He described this about getting high with someone. But then towards the end it takes a turn... "No I can't, Live a lie, You can't make me, Live a lie, Burning red, Letting go, Up in flames, All the same, I am too". This part is so heartbreaking to listen to. He's being told to live a certain way but he's not happy doing that. Closeted queer flagging. Years of manipulation subjected to him from Modest Management perhaps?

June 1, 2021 - Ashton posts a tweet during Pride month announcing it's not just Pride Month but Pride Life.

July 9 - Luke includes gay marriage reference in first single “Starting Line” music video.

There's so many references to opening up his eyes all throughout his album. Feeling fake and being sorry for how things are and how he handles himself throughout, asks for forgiveness.

"Starting Line" Processing his childhood and the band until now. Sets up all the topics covered throughout the album, as per Luke. Undertones of being LGBT. A friends parent, not in the fandom, heard this song and asked if he is gay. See my analysis of the music video/lyrics post. When Luke's album and single was released, Ashton was intensely supportive and commenting on his social media, posting ig stories. "Jumping into my dreams" comment by Ash on his ig post for the music video. Link to Ash supportive social media

"Place In Me" "You always liked this time of day, no words left to play on, how many chances does it take" This is such Ashton coded. Lyrics are so ingrained in his being, being considered as a lyricist is so important to him, but sometimes words are not enough without action to back them up. Remember how Ash is willing to give chances? It sounds to me like this is something Luke is hearing from Ash, about getting things right. This song is saying sorry and no matter how things are this person is a part of his being. Ashton posts ig story of this song "Now with my eyes wide open, it's heaven in your arms. I'm crying and it feels so good".

"Mum" The references to chandeliers and scared of not being accepted. Hoping his mum is along with him through it. "Love the fear of falling" "jump into my ocean" "can't you hear me?" "nothing hurts me now".

"Baby Blue" "I'm on my way to Wonderland, Take off my suit and wander in for a moment, Or stay for a lifetime" Heartbreakingly candid lines that are queer flagging of closeting. "I'm hiding in a living sleep". Closeting. "Living in the in between, And I'm never gonna last, never gonna last" Closeting. Well, you get the picture.

"Motion" Music video promote it about struggling with mental health as well as queer flagging and closeting. Trapped behind glass (same theme as Harry Styles video for "As It Was"). Rainbow of colors. Drinking a gallon of milk.

"Comedown" Last track on the album. Looking back on how he's not been accepting truths and instead avoiding them."Light up a darkness I was never meant to" Hinting that another person in his life brought on revelations. This song can be connected to COMPLETE MESS. Camelia Street is located in Australia in NSW area where the boys are from. He released this album with Sony Music, which is known for using personal lives/stunts to promote projects. Hence him creating the story of it connected with Sierra. "Seeing those colours creeping in, They give me something I can feel, As the seconds start to take bloom" Connected with mental health as well as self acceptance as lgbt.

Ashton posts an unboxing video to his IG story when he receives a vinyl of Luke's album.

(September 2022) 5SOS5 album

Luke and Ash continue to express being committed to one another by wearing matching black onyx rings, engagement/wedding bands. There was different matching rings during Youngblood era as well. The songwriting has increased in maturity, even more than ever before. Contemplative look back where they’ve come from (“Red Line”, for instance) and where they are today (“COMPLETE MESS”, for instance)

“Complete Mess” Luke and Ash complete each other, but at the same time can ruin each other. Luke said during an interview, the song is romantic. Music video was only the relationships between members of the band. Luke wore his black onyx ring (frames of him showing his hand used for Spotify canvas too). Song idea started with Luke “you make me complete”, then Ash put a 5sos “touch of misery”. Promo for the song is so full of Lashton, yet the Lierra “engagement” gets brought up throughout, never by Luke. (To me, it reminds me of how Zayn was throughout his engagement to Perrie Edwards.) Song also has a connection with a shirt Luke owns. Ash has the picture of it at the ready on his phone, should anyone ask.

“Easy For You To Say” Considering moving back to Aussie to get back to roots when settling down.

“HAZE” Chill vibe about being in love. Luke and Ash literally singing to one another for a verse about when the bullshit is getting to them, they’re able to be themselves with each other “feel human once again”.

“You Don’t Go To Parties” Ash’s perspective. Him being with everyone he knows but yet he’s still not engaging with them “clinging to my couch” besides getting high with friends since he’s not interested in finding anyone there. He can’t stop talking about the ”past 5 years running out my mouth” (matches up with the timeline of when they lived together 2017). Luke and Ash have been longtime party buddies. Could be about Ash’s sobriety, as well.

“Caramel” Navigating being together through how more complicated life has become (similar theme from “2011”). A love that’s seen and been through highs and lows “it’s been a while since you and I been where we started”, but not losing what they have together “I don’t want to let it fade away”. “True love” yet having to “play pretend”. But at the end of the day, it's still "love like a landslide, I kiss you goodnight". Both Luke and Ash each choose it as one of their faves on the album.

“Red Line” Melancholy Ashton reflecting on the time spent in London riding the train to songwriting sessions. Light vs dark. Falling out of love, he’d lose himself (feels like “Complete Mess” adjacent)

“Moodswings” has parallels with Luke’s song “Slip Away” (struggling to get out of your own way when things are going good, mental health).

“Flatline” The intensity of falling in love. Luke is shining (“COMPLETE MESS”). “Hard to fake”. Has a dark twist (Ash has spoken about enjoying doing that in his songwriting).

(Photo: The guys celebrating a successful album. Luke and Ash, Michael and Cal.)

(Gif: April 2023 Tecate Pa'l Norte music festival in Monterrey)

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grxcisxhy-wp · 2 years

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𝖼.𝗁. | 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗈𝗇

back to masterlist

pairing ; calum hood x bi!5sos!reader (MAIN), mention of previous harry styles x bi!5sos!reader, mention of unrequited/pining ashton irwin x bi!5sos!reader

summary ; Prequel ish headcannon of bi!5sos!reader based on this blurb

warnings ! my humor (so bad)

word count ; ~700

a/n ; guys, this is probably so bad, but bare with me. also, so sorry to anyone who is straight, but being bi is going to be part of the story later

I’m forcing you to be Australian, deal with it

When you were younger (about 11 years old) you moved into Calum’s neighborhood right across the street from him

And you know, puberty be hitting hard, so this man instantly gets a crush (cause you’re beautiful duh) and befriends you

But of course, he doesn’t say anything (for another few years)

You guys are each other’s closest friends, and you end up being each other’s first kiss (a classic)

The two of you will just play music together on the weekends or after Cal’s soccer practice

You play piano and guitar (and sing but we’ll get into that later)

The two of you meet Luke and Michael when you go into high school and you guys form the beginnings of 5sos

Luke and Michael quickly begin to feel like brothers to you

Then Michael Facebook messages Ashton

When you meet Ashton, you are a complete MESS

Like stuttering like an idiot because his humor just tugs at your heart strings and you’re crushing HARD

You tell Calum about it, obliviously hurting his feelings

poor fetus Calum :’(

but he still supports you

eventually your puppy love with ash goes away and you meet someone

someone that’s a GiRl (yes, you’re bi curious and we’re living for it)

you’re all confused that you feel this way about a girl and questioning your sexuality (as most do in high school)

nothing happens with the girl (nothing ever does… I’m not crying you are)

but you do confide in Calum that you find girls attractive

poor Calum is thinking you're gay, but you reassure him that you do still in fact find guys attractive too

Calum is super supportive and eventually convinces you to tell the rest of your band mates

they’re all supportive too

someone definitely makes a joke like “I don’t blame you. Girls are hot”

would probably be ash or Mikey

we love a good coming out story

anywayyyyy

you and the boys are making youtube covers and becoming quite popular

then the one direction tours

you practically melt when you meet Zayn and Harry (at least I would)

during the tours your management and 1d’s management decide to do a pr stunt with you and harry of a will they won’t they situation

ngl you and harry did hook up a few times after you turned 18 (sorry to those of you who do not like harry styles, which should be none of you)

calum is pretty much over his crush on you by the time the first album comes out (at least that’s what he says)

fans of the band kind of speculate that you might be bi when you sing lyrics like “you’re like the perfect mixture of megan fox and katy p” (greenlight underrated bop imo)

ofc the question comes up in interviews but you and the boys dodge ‘em like ninjas

you came out to the world on your terms during sounds live feels live tour

and this is frat 5sos era so just like them you’re pulling the ladies AND the gentlemen

you’re more discreet abt it tho cause we know how the media be about women who have multiple partners (the media is disgusting)

then there’s the hiatus

during this time, you get back to writing pieces with piano aka you’re the genius behind ghost of you and lie to me’s piano melody

during the writing process of youngblood is also when you and calum start becoming more than friends

you write why won’t you love me about him cause you’re oblivious that he likes you too

you show a demo of wwylm to luke (who is almost as close to you as calum now) and he convinces you to play it for the rest of band and put it on the album

this leads to feelings being confessed and you and calum end up together

you and calum date for about a year and a half before the unfortunate when will you be back blurb comes into play

and then you’re a mess, which is where I’ll be starting this series(??)

so yeah, lmk what moments you want to see like interviews and just relationship things and I’ll do my best to write them well

#grxcisxhy's writing #5 seconds of summer #calum hood #5sos #5sos x reader #calum hood x reader #calum hood x y/n #luke hemmings #michael clifford #ashton irwin #harry styles #calum hood headcannon #calum hood angst #calum hood smut #calum hood imagine

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concubuck · 2 years

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baby shopping.....,..,

Alastor's doctor, upon learning that his circle of emotional support consisted of the father-to-be and not much else, recommended an online forum where mothers-to-be could talk to each other about their issues, and insisted that Alastor at least go check it out.

So he quietly made an account and started lurking amongst the "due in January" crowd.

He's never related less to any conversations he's ever eavesdropped on.

Endless anxiety, complaints, and insecurity over their weight gain. Women who commiserate with each other about their terrible, unsupportive, disinterested husbands, rather than organize a rebellion. (It's all women, as far as he can tell—he shouldn't be surprised by that.) Either that or, on the other hand, succubi lamenting their cambion fetus's human parentage, as if their own bodies spontaneously generated an entire baby from the application of sperm and it's an embarrassing shame that the sperm had to have come from a real person. Frantic, focused planning for the future—daycare, feeding, maternity leave, nursery setups, hospital bags. Gushing excitement over the child they'll have once the pregnancy is over and done with; he spends a lot of time reading those threads, trying to absorb their enthusiasm via osmosis.

The only conversations he relates to are the griping about the symptoms.

One of the topics he keeps seeing is baby showers—is it gauche to host your own if no one's offered, when are yours scheduled, what tactics are you deploying to try to corral wayward giftgivers into buying the things you actually want off of your registry instead of a mountain of clothing that doesn't fit your aesthetic, what did you get at yours and what would you have done differently...

It's terrifying to realize some people have already had their baby showers. Alastor still doesn't know if he and his alternate are going to have one. They don't even have a registry yet. They've looked at some recommended checklists and puzzled over why some items made the "needs" list instead of the "optional" list (why was a stroller a "need"? what's wrong with carrying the baby around?) and haven't even finished deciding what's on their checklist yet, much less figuring out which product they want for each item on the list, much less set up an actual registry. Did registries even exist a century ago? In department stores, maybe? Like Macy's? He doesn't know, he didn't have a baby a century ago.

He feels so behind.

With a burst of adrenaline and determination, he propels himself out of his apartment and to the closest open baby goods store his phone can find. He can't make any decisions without Cal, but by God he's got at least half of a checklist that he can fill out, and he can skip all the items they put question marks by, instead focusing on things like cribs and baby carriers he knows they need.

Less than five minutes into the store his adrenaline runs out. It's drained away by the effort of trying to match what he sees on the shelves with what he already know they need without getting distracted by the endless tiny clothing and niche furniture and rubber horn caps and diaper management solutions (are they getting cloth or disposable diapers?) and bright white plastic medical equipment and memory books and big colorful toys. It's not long before he's meandering aimlessly, gaze drifting between the countless shelves of products and the half-finished registry checklist in his hands.

An employee comes up to him, and—of all things—asks whether he needs any help. He stares at her, face heating up with humiliation.

He's so mortified at the thought of how he must look—vague and confused and lost, just a foggy-minded pregnant twit, nothing like the sharp-edged razor-witted Radio Demon—that he immediately turns on his hoof and leaves the store.

#((*wants to write a post about Alastor productively making progress toward baby prep*))#((*is too ADHD to settle on something for him to make progress on; writes about HIM being too ADHD to make progress on something*))#uh oh #radio baby #live and in person (face to face)

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time-traveling-fetus · 1 year

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Whats the penis story

For this story you'll need to keep in mind that my username is Time Traveling Fetus and my friends call me Fetus. That throws people for a loop sometimes. (Sometimes strangers on the internet call me Time and that disappoints me greatly. It feels weird)

My discord friends had like an 8 person game of Among Us going one night. We were using the proximity voice chat mod, so we could hear each other between meetings. I had a habit of just saying "penis" to people as i was passing by. This is actually something I do outside of the game, especially when I don't have the energy to say anything meaningful but stull want to acknowledge someone. Cal in particular liked to "penis" back at me, and this proved useful when we were both imposters.

We were setting up for a double kill, but to do that you need to confirm the other person's readiness. While we had voice chat, we couldn't just ask. Our victims were in the room with us. So with the inflection of a normal conversation i said to cal:

"Hey cal?"

"Yeah fetus?"

"Penis penis penis?"

"Oh penis-penis penis. Penis penis."

"Ok penis, penis....penis!"

At which point we killed both our victims simultaneously without alerting them to our shenanigans prematurely.

I tried this again later in the night, but evidently my partner, who was no longer cal, was not on the same wavelength and did not understand. Plus, cal heard me give the penis signal and accused me in the next meeting, which I successfully brushed off. "Penis being related to murder? Cal that's ridiculous who would think that. Obviously he just likes saying penis a lot."

He was right of course.

We switched maps to Polus and eventually the imposter role came back around to me. Things were going smoothly. I was killing someone in the meeting room, only to see that Erin passed by the window just in time to witness the murder. She tried to run inside to report the body or press the button, only for me to meet her at the entrance. I began chasing her, and she turned around in a panic. In a rush of desperation, she began to shout "IT'S FETUS! IT'S FETUS! IT'S FETUS" as she ran down the middle of the map. By this time, my kill cooldown was only half over, and at this rate I would be exposed. I needed to buy some time. Thinking quickly, I began to shout even louder than Erin, "PENIS! PENIS! PENIS!"

This continued for 10 desperate seconds until I killed her, finally silencing the screams. Unfortunately for her we had not run directly into another player, and her body was found several minutes later, long after I had fled the scene. Several people reported hearing her shout about penises before she died. I knew nothing of the incident.

It's my most glorious victory. It was a clever move that only would have worked for me, in that moment, on that night, with that group of people, in that situation. If I had chosen any username that sounded less like penis it wouldn't have worked.

Conclusion: penises are tools of murder

#not to be confused with the other penis story in which i used penises to fix discord's noise suppression #among us

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teapartyprincess4two · 2 months

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LOL I love your response to that anon

also when you started talking about calum, you're so real for that

It’s always gonna be Calum. Every second of the day I think about that man.

Ima pop out with a Calum fic soon (maybe) and yall won’t even know what hit YALL 🤠 (THE TX IN ME RLLY COMING OUTTTT)

Last one is my favorite pic of Cal i love that green color on him. (Let’s be real I just love him)

I love bald Calum, mullet Calum, long hair Calum, blond Calum, fetus Calum, big ol’ muscle Calum, cutesy Calum, shy Calum, smoker Calum, zoom Calum, on stage Calum, CALUM CALUM CALUM

Kk luv u byeeeeee 💗👼🏻

#teapartyanons🦢🎀

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