#guess who's back from the dead!!!!!!!! it's me w royalty au | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

binniesthighs · 3 years

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call me babydoll | reader x chan

soooo shhhh this actually a part one shhhh but i’m just trying out writing out different things and getting out some of my ideas outta my head that i’m really excited about, this one being one of them!! for now...just pretend that this is just a regular ol’ drabble hehehehe. this part is the set-up chapter (shhh i mean drabble)

One

Pairing: self insert, female reader x bang chan

Genre: fluff, smut, and angst

Tags: (overall) bodyguard au, moderndayprince!chan, bodyguard!reader, secret agent au, royal au, action and peril, plot driven, running out of time, slow-ish burn, growing feelings, softswitch!chan, hardswitch!reader, some skz side characters, jeongin third wheel and comedic relief LOL, travelling, chan being expensive and having a lil bit of a superiority complex, flirtyyyy chan, bits of mystery, explicit language, mentions of food and alcohol, idk think like 007 vibes hehe

CWs: guns and gun violence, a shooting in a ballroom, mentions of blood

Word count: 4.6k

Parts

ONE | TWO

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here early.”

“Well, expect the unexpected.”

“Don’t turn the motto back at me. I’m sick of hearing it so many damn times.”

“What? You and I both know that it’s true. You’re here early too, so, technically you don’t get to say anything.”

Jeongin straightened his bow tie, then patted down the sides of his perfectly ironed tux with not a crinkle to be found. Knowing him, it was a miracle that he hadn’t messed it up in some form yet. He promptly took out his pocket square to clean off his glasses.

“You’re looking nice. Seems like they don’t mind spending money now on you these days.” He blew off the flecks of dust on his lenses.

“They know that they get their return on their investment. And thank you.”

You smoothed down the sides of your dusty pink dress that nearly went all the way down to your ankles. Had you any other choice, it would’ve been something different, but, dresses were really good at hiding your thigh holster compared to the slacks you usually favored. You didn’t mind the times that you would have to put on a pretty dress, it somewhat reminded you that there was normal life outside of your job. Not to mention, they had started sending you jewelry as well. You always had liked the look of a diamond necklace.

“You do your research for tonight?”

Jeongin nodded, then took from his pocket his phone to read over the details.

“I’ve done a background check on everyone attending, we shouldn’t have any issues. It’s already a low risk event anyway. Charity is never something to get too worked up over, but, you never know with the detail that some of these people come with...who they might be tied to...”

“--The only people we can trust is ourselves.” You nodded with arms crossed.

“Expect the unexpected, I know.” He slid his phone back into his inside suit pocket to adjust his cufflinks.

“--Nervous?” You took note of his fidgeting actions.

“Nervous? No. I’ve been through this before. You know that.”

You flicked your partner right on his forehead strung with his white hair. You had really wished that he had picked a less conspicuous color, but he had strings to pull that you didn’t.

Jeongin cleared his throat, “You do your once over?”

“Do you even need to ask? I did it hours ago and when we arrived. You know that I’ve done this before too.”

“I know. I know.”

Jeongin looked out at the vast circular atrium that made up the center of the hotel. Several stories down under the glass rooftop, you could hear the faint sprinkling of the intricate fountain which smelled of copper. A bit further down, you could see the tips of the tree branches from the indoor landscaping. Across the way, a door slammed with residents tucking in their ties. The two men you had recognized from the roster: a simple thing which made you feel at ease. Your young partner must’ve started to have an effect on you. A sense of unease seemed to quell in your neck. You always listened to your hunches.

“W-what do you think he thinks of us?” Jeongin broke the silence.

“Well,” From inside the room you had waited outside, you could hear his distant murmuring, so you lowered your tone. “I think that he has yet to trust us. It’s only been a few weeks. He doesn’t seem like the kind to give himself up easy. That, and I’m sure his resentment of his father must have some influence.”

“You think he hates us?”

“I think he hates his father for hiring us. I mean, wouldn’t you? His old security detail, he had them for years.”

“I guess so. But, we’re not like his old detail.”

“No. We’re not. I don’t think he gets that yet. I think he sees us as one more way his father has a hold on him.”

“It’s not like he can do much else about it when his dad’s a kin--”

“--No, no, thank you, really, it’s lovely. Some of your best work. Thank you.”

Chan swung open the door to his room, stopping Jeongin right in his sentence.

“Ah. You’re here already. That’s...punctual.”

As dazzling and showy as ever, Chan looking nothing short of a magazine model. For a prince, he had certain...appearances that he had to maintain. Today, it was a velvety and maroon suit jacket with a white button up. On the collar, two matching brooches had been perfectly placed, and they were silver like moonlight in the shape of English ivy and adorned with diamonds. On his lapel, he wore the royal insignia of the lion and the wolf. Behind him, you could see his slew of stylists cleaning up their makeup kits and obscene assortment of designer dress shoes for him to pick from. You had thought before that he even smelled like royalty: stuffy white roses with a hint of priceless cognac.

Jeongin bowed his head respectfully. “Everything has been prepared for tonight. The rest of your guards are surrounding the building, and I’ll be corresponding with them as needed, your Highness.” He tapped at his earpiece.

Chan drew his attention over to you, giving you a rather lusty glare. Over the past couple weeks, you had gotten used to it. He was a prince to every extent of the word. If there was anything that he had wanted, he simply had to ask. It drove him insane that all he could do was merely look at you. You had wondered if he harbored anything else for you besides the way that he would devour the curves of your shoulders and hips.

“Fox. Bee. You look nice tonight. I like seeing you dressed up. Makes me feel less out of place.”

You couldn’t help but let out a little sound of discontentment over his rather affectionate nickname for you. You and your partner had been introduced to him as F and B. Quickly he had figured out Jeongin’s codename as Fox, considering that he had done a poor job picking out one that wasn’t related to him at all. Anyone could tell that boy was fox-like, and he also just wasn’t that creative when it came to picking out a name for himself. B, or Bee as he had decided, was your name; as in bumblebee. After learning about Fox, he figured that there was an animal theme going, so Bee seemed to fit best in his oponion.

You tested his glare with your best, “Thank you, your Highness.”

Jeongin gulped. “Your assistant should be waiting downstairs with your itinerary. She told me that you should meet her first off.”

“You work too hard F. Have some fun tonight, hm? But don’t...drink too much. You’re responsible for my life remember?” Chan clapped his bodyguard on the back.

Your partner nervously laughed and adjusted his glasses once more: his preferred tic.

“And Bee?” Chan rose a brow to lean into close and whisper. “Stay close, alright?”

“Of course, your Highness.”

Chan let out a little scoff after getting one more proper look at your frame. “Damn. You really are stunning. Just a little too dangerous for me though.”

You rolled your eyes, dishing him outa, “Whatever you say, your Highness.”

Jeongin threw you and annoyed glare before tracing after Chan as he sauntered down the hall to the glass elevator.

“Bee? You coming? Or do you have something better to do?” Chan’s voice called down the hall with an echo and a little teasing gesture of his hand.

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

It had been seven years since you had chosen this line of work, and each time that you had to go to one of these things, you hated them more and more. Not because they were hard to control--they were easy--but you just hated how many superficial and self-absorbed people that they could fit into one room.

The air was filled with the scent of champagne bubbles and too much Chanel No. 5. From corner to corner of the room, and even next to the ice sculpture of the lion and the wolf crest, silk, satin; velvet and the best cotton could be found. Long gloves covered the arms of ladies with wrinkling skin, and tweed vests held in the guts of men who indulged in their food just as much as their mistresses. All this effort just to appear as if they had given one care about the philanthropic efforts of the royalty.

Several neatly dressed waiters passed you with golden platters of hors d'oeuvres made of ingredients so expensive, they would’ve cost the same amount as the generous donations made by the attendees. If you could’ve, you would’ve scooped up as many of them as you could, just to eat all of their copious amounts of money yourself, but, there was somewhere a rule that you had to keep your hand to yourself when you were on duty. The best that you had to look forward too was take-out to eat at 3 in the morning with Jeongin later.

Buzzing chatter filled your earpiece while each of the additional guards gave their hourly report.

“Damn. It’s fucking colder out here than I thought. It’s fucking summer.” One of them joked to the tune of the other guards laughter.

“Stay focused.” Jeongin scolded over the line. “Don’t leave your posts until your shifts change.”

While he was a timid man, Jeongin was not one to mess around. Son of the director, he knew that he had big shoes to fill. After pleading for years for her to admit him into the academy, she had agreed. Everyone knew the reason why she didn’t want him in this line of work. Too many dead. Too many missing. In some ways, he was also yours to look after.

You trailed after Chan who was busy talking to his assistant and his publicist. While he nodded at their words, you knew that he must’ve been barely listening. Chan never really was one for formality, but much rather enjoyed simplicity and pleasure. Jeongin and you had somewhat of a bet going: out of all the guests, you had liked to bet which one he would take with him to his bedroom. Since you had all the profiles of the guests, you liked to bet a little money on which one it would be.

Jeongin had guessed it to be the heiress and daughter of a tycoon who had made a multi-million won donation in the name of his company. It was ironic; his very company was a big-scale pollutor who liked to make nice with the crown. She was conventionally very pretty: long legs, a thin frame, she was educated and looked as if she could hold somewhat of a conversation...not like that mattered to him.

You had predicted it to be the foreign CEO who had just started business dealings with the crown. While she might’ve looked a bit stuck-up and prim, she was intimidating, and a challenge. Chan loved challenges. Chan also had a pension for pretty boys with a bit too much money on their hands--usually inherited--and with nothing much else to do other than dote on him. There were plenty of those attending the gala tonight.

Chan snaked through the crowd, bowing his head at all of the Good evening, your Highnesses and the It’s a pleasure to meet you, your Highnesses. Every few moments or so he would take a bite from a golden plate and then pop it into his mouth. The whole night long, he would hold his glass with him and it would get refilled for him without him even needing to ask. You sometimes liked to pretend that in some places, they must’ve assigned someone to watch him from afar to make sure that he would never need anything before it was given to him. It wouldn’t have surprised you.

“Having fun Bee?” Chan languidly rolled his head back, swirling his glass.

“As much fun as you are.” You quipped.

“Anything that I should be concerned about?”

“Nothing of concern.” You stated matter-of-factly. Had you matched his flirting tone, you knew that you wouldn’t hear the end of it for the rest of the night. “Fox. Report?”

“Nothing that I can see. No one has been tagging you.” Jeongin had staked himself up on the upper balcony of the banquet hall room, and had been watching for as long as you had been following after the prince. “You sensing anything strange?” His voice tickled in your in-ear.

“Just a bunch of the normal crowd.” You kept your tone down low. “He’s rubbing noses with the usual. You’ve seen too?”

He chuckled. “Yeah. I know what you mean.”

You followed Chan to his seat nearest the front of the room which had been fashioned into a stage with a clear glass podium in the center. Right in front there was one more crest decorating it. Chan had ensured it to be so: he had wanted everyone to know that this was all for his charity.

“It seems like our bets aren’t working out. He hasn’t talked to either of the...suspects.” Your partner changed his choice of words knowing that the other guards were listening.

From the opposite side of the room both the heiress and the CEO stood with thin glasses of wine in their lithe hands. Chan had in fact walked right past them, and didn’t even notice.

“Tonight is going to be a long night.” Jeongin sighed over the line.

You politely pushed past attendees with a raised hand and a sweet smile. You had found that when you smiled, you had appeared less intimidating.

“Oh wait...what’s this?”

“What?” You whipped your head around after Jeongin’s interjection. “What? Do you see something? What’s the call?”

“Relax! It just looks like he’s approaching someone he wants to talk to. I think both of us are about to be proven wrong.”

“Ah, shit.” You sighed. “Don’t put me on edge like that.”

“I’m only trying to entertain myself.”

“Name. Who is it? You’ve got the roster.”

You partner was quiet for a minute, and you watched from a distance as Chan approached the man leaned over a martini seated at one of the perfectly decorated tables.

“Uh, I think that he’s Lee Minho. Some kind of royalty from somewhere else. Pretty low ranking from the looks of it. I think that he made a donation himself...and it’s...damn, larger than you would expect.”

“Should we be concerned?”

“No. Seems harmless.”

“Thank you for coming,” You made out the words that Chan had mouthed. He drew a chair next to the unknown man.

From what you could tell, Lee Minho was handsome to the full extent of the word: nearly all of his physical features were exemplary and his suit appeared to have been fitted to perfect for him; likely one of a kind. He too wore an insignia on his lapel, but it was one that you hadn’t recognized before. He had immaculately styled hair that had some kind of rebellious and boyish charm to it. The man had a kind of mystery about him too: you had been able to pride yourself in being able to read people, and it had saved your life on more than one occasion. But with him, there was something that you couldn’t place.

“Do they know eachother?” You asked Jeongin.

“Not that I know of. School friend maybe? Seems like all the royals send their kids to the same schools.”

“Hm. That would make sense.”

“Enjoying yourself?” Chan said.

Lee Minho nodded, and rose his glass to clink it with the prince’s.

“Do we think that he’s our...suspect?”

The stranger dipped his head into his hand as he listened to Chan speak. A flirty gesture that you had seen a hundred times or more. Still, the way that he inspected Chan, it wasn’t adoring. Or at least, you didn’t think that it was.

“No. I don’t think so.”

“What the hell are you yapping about?” One of the other guards snapped over the line.

“Um, classified stuff.” Jeongin quickly explained. “Above your paygrade. Don’t worry about it.”

“Fox. Watch out for him tonight.” You snuck over to a corner of the room where you could watch the two of them more discreetly.

“Affirmative....” Your partner paused. “Babydoll.”

“Pffff--Babydoll??” The same guard stifled his laughter. “You call her Babydoll, Fox? Damn, you all must be closer than I thought. Didn’t know that I was missing out on some of the action--”

“--Ever heard of a codename, Three?”

“Babydoll’s her codename.”

A grin crept over your lips. “Expect the unexpected.”

You had almost gotten distracted enough to miss how Lee Minho had leaned over to whisper something into the prince’s ear. After he had done so, Chan laughed out a little, then reached his arm around the other man’s chair comfortably.

“They’re...cozy.” You updated your partner.

“I’m trying to cross-check where he might know him from.”

Chan’s assistant and publicist finally slipped away with giddy little smiles. In many ways, you were jealous of them. They could leave whenever the wanted, eat what they wanted...

Jeongin scoffed. “Well, turns out...nothing. I can’t find anything.”

“Nothing?”

“Negative. I’m not seeing any crossover.”

“So they really are strangers?”

Your partner sighed. “Looks like neither of us are cashing ou--I mean--finding the suspect.”

Under your breath, you wondered aloud, “Who are you...Lee Minho?”

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

The night drew on longer with the rest of the formalities: the formal dinner, followed by several speeches from important people while dessert was being served. It all led up to the final act: His Royal Highness, Prince Chan’s speech. On several neat notecards marked with the crest, he held them in front of him while he ate his last bits of Mont Blanc Chocolate Pavlova. Even the name of the sweet itself sounded pretentious. Granted, it smelled delicious--as many expensive things did.

You stifled a yawn from your little set up on the edge of the room. At least you should’ve been able to sit, but it turns out that sitting is also against the rules in this line of work. A couple other security and bodyguards had joined you at the edge: some of their heads nodded with sleep, and the others looked as if they had taken one too many energy shots. Luckily, your stamina had been well crafted.

A fancily dressed MC made his way up to the podium and the room filled with applause after the last speaker had said all of their correct mandatory words.

“It is my honor to introduce to the stage, our wonderful head benefactor of this organization, His Royal Highness, Prince Chan of the Crown.

Applause tenfold of before erupted through the whole room and it wasn’t even an afterthought for the every attendee to stand up from their seats in an ovation. It was a force of habit for you, but you found yourself clapping as well.

Chan rose with grace, and re-buttoned his jacket with finesse. A blinding spotlight found him and it made the diamonds adorning his beck wink brilliantly. Even more blinding was his pearl white, and perfectly trained smile accompanied by his wave.

Thank you. Thank you. He mouthed.

“It’s like he’s a frickin’ movie star.” Jeongin groaned.

“Might as well be with the way that they treat him. You know deep down they’re all just terrified.”

Chan made his way up to the stage in all of his regality, and the applause didn’t stop until he cleared his throat. A collective groaning of a couple hundred chairs squeaked when everyone sat back down.

“Thank you everyone, really. I wanted to thank you all for your generous support in your donations to this organization, as well as your association with the crown. I’m sure that all the beneficiaries of your donations are beyond thankful compared to me. Without you, this would not be possible.” Chan spoke with grandiose gestures, as usual, but this time, he had found you on the side of the room. “Listen, aside from being a prince, I’m also just a person. A person who knows what it means to struggle, to--”

“--I can’t listen to this anymore.” You whispered into the quiet room, and to your partner.

“Just a few more hours.” He droned. “I almost wish that something would happen so that we don’t have to sit though much else of this.”

“Be careful what you wish for.”

In the corner of your eye, Lee Minho shifted in his seat, but still kept his undivided attention to the stage. You figured he must’ve been just like the rest of them: enamored by the flashiness of the crown--and Chan. He had a way of putting a spell on people: it was the kind of spell that a prince of deception had crafted after years of being kept under lock and key.

“--Anyway, what I’m trying to say, royal or fanciful we all might be, in the simplest way, we’re all just people, therefore this is what connects us all. Thank you.”

Chan was gifted yet another standing ovation that was somehow even more thunderous than before.

“Yeah right.” You scoffed. “People born into money. There’s a difference.”

Chan gave his last waves, then a clamor echoed from the back of the room. At first, it had just sounded like the same raucous laughter you had heard all night, but then it shifted to something different. The sound of laugher turned into shouting, then screams: high pitched and piercing. You had seconds to respond, head whipping around the room to catch sight of the confused prince. In your in-ears, the the sound of gunshots echoed with rapid-fire speed. Machine guns. Shouting commands barked in your ear, and muddled with Jeongin’s string of demands and questions.

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OUT THERE? REPORT! REPORT!”

Your heart instantly started beating into hyperdrive, and your legs sprinted as fast has physically possible

“THEY’VE GOT GUNS!” A shrill and cracked voice of an older woman wailed from the back of the room.

Immediately after she had said so, shots fired into the darkened room with sparks, and the metallic sound of bullets hitting the marbled ground followed.

Chan looked around in his panic for you, petrified on the stage. You slung your gun out from your thigh holster and latched onto him with all of your might.

“TH-THEY JUST CAME OUT OF NOWHERE IN THESE VANS. THEY’RE ARMOURED, WE CAN’T--”

“Get the fuck down there and secure the exists!” Jeongin growled into his mic. “B--is the prince secure??”

“Secure!” You yelled back. Using your body as a barrier, you led the cowering prince through the mass hysteria of the crowd.

“Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Shit.” Chan shook under your iron grip.

More shots fired into the room and bodies parted like the sea and fell over each other.

From the balcony, you had caught Jeongin aiming his own gun at the chaos below.

“I’ll cover you! Fuck! There’s so many of them! Get him to the car out back--Three, Six, meet B out there! Three!? Six!? Report!”

“Three and Six are down F!” One of the guards panted. “I can provide cover out back!!”

“Who’s speaking??” Jeongin bellowed, then aimed from above at one of the intruders. Your only focus was on weaving you and Chan out of there, but you had seen one of them in a blur. Each of the men with guns wore dark grey suits with black ties and leather gloves. Each of them wore their own crest: and it was all red.

“Bee?? Bee???” Chan shouted out for you, and jumped every time the crack of a shot echoed in the ballroom.

“I’ve got you, your Highness. We’ll be out soon. Keep your head down and listen to me.” Your arm held to him tightly, and you soon found the exit nearest. There was no telling if there would be more of them outside, but you loaded your gun quickly just in case, and pointed it out.

“Jeongin, get your ass down here!”

“Jeongin? Who the fuck is that??” Chan ducked down to hide himself behind your frame.

His name had slipped on your tongue, but that hardly mattered.

“I’ll be down in a second!!!”

“Don’t fucking waste time up there when I need you down here!!”

“Two! Two Reporting!!” A man suddenly yelled in your in-ear. “I’ve made it out back and I’ve secured the exit. The car is safe!!”

“FOX! Now!”

Your partner heaved, “I’m coming, I’m coming!!”

You kicked open the exit door, gun’s still blazing, however one one else could be found on the other side.

“Thank God,” You sighed.

“Oh shit, I’m gonna be sick.” Chan had turned paler than white, then stumbled in your arms.

“Hey, HEY!” You held him upright. “It’s gonna be alright. I’ve got you. You’re safe. You need to trust me. Your life is in my hands and I’m not giving it up easy, got it?”

“O-okay.” He stammered, then attempted to straighten himself.

“The Prince is outside, repeat, The Prince is outside. Two, are you in position?”

“Yes. Yes, I am.”

Other than the fact that you had just escaped absolute peril, the evening was unbearably pleasant. Crickets chirped in the summer evening, and the humidity of the night smelled gorgeously of the lake that was near-by as well as the vast array of flowers that had been purposefully landscaped around the hotel. Chan’s uneven steps scraped at the gravel walkway.

Since you had canvassed the whole building well, you had known exactly where the getaway car was, but you were still careful.

“Bee. Bee!” Chan blabbered. “Have-have I told you yet that I-I’m in love with you?”

“No, you haven’t Your Highness.”

“I fucking am. If I die tonight, I want you to know that I am ridiculously in love with you, and fuck, I wanna--”

“--I’m sorry, Your Highness, respectfully, but now is not the time for this and you are not dying on my watch.”

Somewhere off in the distance, frogs croaked, and the splashing of fish in the lake plopped at the surface waters. You turned a corner to finally see Two waiting his his gun raised. He was a bit of a shorter and scrawnier man, but something about him told you that where he lacked in strength, he must’ve made up for in agility.

“I’m out! I’m out!” Your partner gasped, and over the in-ear you could hear his running footsteps. “I’m almost there! I’ll be there in a second!”

“Your Highness,” Two bowed and opened the car door. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. You can call me Two or J. Either you prefer.”

Jeongin came bounding around the corner with heaving breaths and his clothes askew. His glasses which just barely held onto his face had a crack on them and his knuckles were covered in blood.

“Let’s go.” The younger man prompted.

“In the car you go, Your Highness.” You motioned for him to do so.

Chan whimpered like a toddler.

You shoved his body in, “Stop that. Get in the car.”

“I’m in love with you Bee!” He yelled out, “I’M FUCKING IN LOVE WITH YOU BEE!”

Jeongin slammed the door in his face with a bit of a chuckle.

“He’s delirious.”

“Mm.” your partner smiled. “Sure.”

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study-coffee-chicago · 3 years

Text

Royalty AU Part 2 (An Upstead + Upton Sister imagine) {Part of AU-gust}

A/N: Thank you for reading! Please remember to like/reblog, comment, and send me asks! Here's the link to the playlist I listened to while writing in case you want to listen to while reading (not my playlist): royalty au that is not just waltzing.

masterlist

"I don't even understand why I have to do this in the first place," sixteen-year-old Harper complained to her older sister, Princess Hailey Upton-Halstead, and her brother-in-law, Prince Jay Halstead.

"We've gone over this," Hailey groaned.

"Yeah? Well, do it again. Because I seriously don't see the point in dancing with a ton of strangers and trying to find a suitor. You expect me to choose who I'm going to marry in one night after one dance? I don't even like dancing."

"Well, pretend anyway!" Jay snapped.

Harper rolled her eyes. "And who do you think you are? My father?" she sneered.

"Hey!" Hailey yelled. "You do not talk to him like that! He and Will are more like fathers to you than our actual father, so I suggest you show Jay here some respect!"

"Ugh!" Harper yelled and stalked off outside into the spring air.

Then, she made her way out to the stables. She walked in and she made a beeline to her horse, Blue. Jay had taught Hailey how to ride this exact horse and after she and Harper officially moved in, Jay took some time to teach Harper how to ride as well. Blue quickly took a liking to the then six-year-old as she always fed him blueberries because Harper said that Blue needs blueberries and Jay couldn't tell her no. So, she fed him and brushed him and gave him all the attention in the world, so eventually, he just became her horse.

She opened the stall door and sat on a bale of hay, right next to Blue. He nudged her arm.

"I know," she said. "I'm sorry, but I don't have any treats for you right now. Jay and Hailey told me that I can't get dirty so I can't ride you right now either." He nudged her again. "How rude of them, I agree." She sighed. "It's just ridiculous, Blue. I'm not even a princess, I don't know why they're doing this. I'm not Hailey's and Jay's child, even though they treat me like a child most of the time, and I didn't marry a prince. Therefore, I'm not a princess. So why do I have to go to this stupid ball to find someone to marry who I won't even love in the first place?"

Blue's ears perked up and he looked up. So, Harper followed his gaze. And, she saw Jay standing there, outside of Blue's stall, with a few sugar cubes in his hand.

"Can I come in?" he asked. "I'm pretty sure Blue would be quite mad if he saw the sugar cubes and didn't get them."

Harper nodded her head once and he opened the stall door and then closed it. But, she wasn't going to talk to him.

He set his palm flat and allowed Blue to start eating the sugar cubes. Harper rested her elbow on her knee and put her head in her hand, just waiting for Jay to leave.

"You know, there will be other balls besides this one," he said.

"I have to do more of these?" she whined.

Jay chuckled. "Well, yeah. Me and your sister don't expect you to find your perfect match after one dance. Just have some potential suitors open. And then, there will be more balls, and when you find someone you like, more balls after that with the main event being you and him."

"I just don't get it," Harper stated. "I'm not a princess in the first place. And, our neighboring kingdom is on the brink of war and you want me to focus on a damn ball? For crying out loud, the Severides don't like our rule and for all we know, rebels have invaded their kingdom and taken them over! And, since they don't like us, the Severides and rebels could be allies and be trying to infiltrate us."

"Listen," Jay started after Blue finished the sugar cubes. He motioned to the hay bale right next to Harper. "Can I sit?"

"I guess," she huffed and crossed her arms across her chest.

Jay sighed. "Listen, Harper. You say you're not a princess, but you are."

"No, I'm not! You know this!"

"Me and your sister aren't going to have any kids, Harper. After everything you both went through with your father, Hailey doesn't want kids in the slightest. And, I'm respecting her wishes. So, I'll take over for Will when he's done ruling. But, after that, I've named you as my heir."

"W-What? But legally, I can't."

Jay shook his head. "Harper, I'm a royal. I can make whatever rules I want. Hailey and I were going to tell you together after the ball, but seeing as you aren't a big fan of it, we've decided to tell you now."

"What does this mean?" she asked. "I have to marry a prince? I can't marry a commoner if I happen to meet one?"

"No, no it doesn't mean that at all. It just means to be smart with your decision. And, well, if you see Blake at the dance, don't shy away from him."

"Jay," she groaned.

"Hey, it's up to you, but bringing two kingdoms together would be a plus...even if they aren't really on our good side right now."

Jay looked down at his watch.

"I need to go, don't I?" Harper asked as she looked down.

"Yeah, you should probably start getting ready. Are you nervous?"

"I mean, now that it's finally becoming real and I actually have to go, I guess I am a little nervous. What if I fall or mess up during a dance?"

"Harper, we've practiced these dances since you were seven. You'll do fine."

"When do I get to dance?" seven-year-old Harper asked sweetly as she walked into the ballroom where Hailey and Jay were practicing the dance that they had to do for their wedding.

"God, Jay," Will said as he entered, not noticing little Harper. "You're terrible at leading. Maybe Hailey should lead instead. You're sh--"

Hailey cut him off by coughing and subtly pointing at Harper.

"--you're not very good at it," Will said.

"Says the man who hasn't even gotten married yet," Jay scoffed.

"I can do it!" Harper exclaimed. "I can dance, too!"

Will smiled down at her. "I'm sure you can. But, this is big kid dancing."

"B-But I am a big girl," Harper said as her bottle lip began to wobble. "Hailey said so."

"Harps, do you want to dance with me?" Hailey asked as she let go of Jay's hands and made her way over to her little sister.

"Can I?" she asked timidly.

Hailey smiled. "Of course you can. And, maybe while we're dancing together, Will can help Jay learn how to lead a little bit better." She threw a wink her future husband's way and Jay threw his arms up in exasperation. Will just held back his laughter.

Harper grabbed Hailey's hands and the two sisters began dancing together.

"May I cut in?" Jay asked and offered his arm to Harper. She giggled and nodded and then the two of them danced. Then, Will took over dancing with Harper so that Jay could practice with Hailey again.

"Between all the times I danced with Will when you and Hailey were practicing for things, I barely had to practice for my first ball," Harper joked.

"But now everyone's eyes will be on you and not me and Hailey," Jay pointed out.

Blue let out a neigh. "I know, Blue," Harper said and stroked her horse. "You tell him. That didn't help at all."

"Sorry." Then, Jay held his hand out to the girl who he viewed as his little sister. "Ready?" he asked as she took his hand.

"As I'll ever be," Harper answered nervously and allowed Jay to help her up. Then, they walked out of the stables and back to the castle so that Harper could continue getting ready.

***

Good Lord this gown is itchy, was what Harper was thinking. And, I could really use a drink if I have to dance with more ugly royals.

Harper glanced at the ballroom entrance where Adam and Kevin were guarding the doors. Maybe she could sneak out undetected. But, Adam made eye contact with her and just shook his head and chuckled.

Okay, so getting out of here's a no-go. Stupid rule that Jay and Hailey put in place that I can't drink until the end of the dance. Easy for them to say, they're just chatting it up in the corner with glasses of wine and don't have to worry about the future because they've already found their soulmate.

So, Harper swallowed her pride and made her way over to her sister and her brother-in-law. She really needed something else to focus on, and maybe focusing on the sweet taste of sips of Moscato falling down her throat would help. (After all, this is the victorian age, there's no age limit on when someone can start drinking.)

She picked up a glass from the servant's tray and said her thanks, but Hailey quickly swiped it from her hand.

"Hailey, c'mon. Please," Harper whined.

"No, Harper. You know the rules: no wine until after the ball is over."

"But you two aren't even dancing. Why do I have to?"

Hailey sighed in frustration. "Harper, we've been over this. You have to find a husband. You can't just be a spinster all your life."

"Why not? Because I know once I get married, I won't have any power or say in anything and I'll just be nice to look at. My husband will make all the decisions and I won't have a say in my own life!"

People turned their heads at her raised voice.

"Harper," Jay whispered sternly. "I suggest you go dance with someone or talk with someone else before you make both of us even more frustrated than we already are." Harper scoffed. Jay raised an eyebrow. "You will not dishonor this family, this kingdom, not after everything Will, Hailey, and I have done for you. Now go."

Harper resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She wasn't the one who asked Hailey to bring her here ten years ago when she woke her up in the dead of night to get her away from their abusive father. She never asked for this. But, here she was, having to dance and find someone who would control her for the rest of her life...just like their father did with their mother.

But, she walked away anyway...just as a waltz began to play.

Fantastic, she thought.

She started to walk towards the sides of the ballroom, maybe she could avoid having to waltz with a stranger, but she knew that it'd probably be no use seeing as this ball was for her in the first place.

She looked down at her feet as she walked, the end of her light blue ball gown dragging on the floor behind her.

She stopped when she saw that someone was blocking her path. Because she wasn't looking up, she only saw his shoes and the black dress pants he was wearing. Slowly, she raised her head.

He had brown hair, a cocky smile, and his eyes sparkled. He held out his hand.

"May I have this dance, Princess?" he asked.

Harper nodded. "You may," she answered.

She knew that if Jay, Hailey, or Will saw her turn down a dance, that they wouldn't be too happy, so she reluctantly accepted his hand and they started to waltz.

"By your facial expression, I take it you don't want to be here?" he asked.

"It's that obvious, is it?" she asked.

"Only a little. By the way, I'm Blake G--"

Everyone in the ballroom gasped as the lanterns that were lighting the room went out, and the musicians stopped playing a few seconds later as they couldn't see.

"If we can't get a real royal, we'll have to take you instead," was the last thing that Harper heard before a rag was shoved against her mouth and nose. She felt herself being carried, felt her hand still holding this Blake character's hand, and then she felt herself quickly slip into an unconscious state from whatever poison that rag had been soaked in.

***

Guards came up from the shadows and ushered Hailey and Jay into a secret hideout behind where they had been standing sipping on their wine and watching Harper dance with Blake Gallo-Severide.

"What the hell's going on?" Jay whispered angrily at the guard.

"We don't know, your highness. The lights went out so we figured it best to get you to safety as quick as possible."

"What about Harper?" Hailey asked worriedly. "Where is she? Is she safe?"

"That I don't know, my lady."

Then, the door came busting open and the guard drew his sword.

"It's only me; it's Ruzek," Adam said as he entered.

"Adam!" Jay whisper-yelled. "Where's Harper? Is she in another hideout?"

"Jay, I don't know, I just came through the tunnels to make sure that you and Hailey were safe. I can go look in other ones if you want. But, along with you, I'm trying to find out what happened in the first place. I have other guards, being led by Kevin, who are making sure that Harper and Will are safe."

"Good," Jay said. "If they're being led by him, that means they'll do a thorough sweep." He paused. "Just keep doing what you planned on, Adam."

"Alright, I'll let you know when it's safe to come out. It'll probably be at least half an hour because, even though the lights are back on, we need to make sure that the guests are all out safely and do a sweep of the palace to make sure that you can come out. This will all be done at the same time. There are servants and guards getting the guests out safely while the rest of us will sweep the palace and the tunnels."

"Okay." Jay gave him a nod, which signaled that Adam Ruzek could leave to continue his job of keeping the royal family safe.

***

"You may come out now," Adam said and then ushered Hailey and Jay out of the secret room 45 minutes later.

"Where's Harper?" Hailey asked.

Silence.

"Where's Will?" Jay asked.

"Jay!"

Jay heard his name being called and looked up to see his older brother, the king, running towards him.

"Are you and Hailey alright? I had one of the guards run down to the infirmary to tell April what was going on in case we or guests got hurt when the lights went off."

"We're fine," Hailey said quickly. She turned back to Adam and took a few steps toward him so she was only separated from him by a matter of inches. "Where is my little sister, Adam? And it'd be in your best interest to tell me the truth. Right now."

"Hailey, Jay, we couldn't find her."

"What?" Hailey screamed.

"We searched all the hideouts and the tunnels and swept the palace left and right, but there was no sign of her. I'm sorry."

Hailey took another step forward. "You're sorry? You're sorry?" she yelled. "It was your job to keep every single person in this ballroom safe and you let the person that this was meant for go missing! Missing! God, how could you let this happen? We trust you with our lives, Adam!"

Hailey felt someone place a hand on her shoulder.

"Hailey, sweetheart, how about we go get a cup of tea or coffee, and you let Adam explain what happened to Will," Jay suggested calmly.

"No! I don't need tea or coffee or any other hot beverage, Jay! I need my sister!" she yelled and spun around to face her husband.

"Sweetheart, I understand that. We all understand that. But, yelling at Adam here isn't going to get her back. We need to understand what happened so that we can find her. And for that, Adam needs to be able to do his job."

Hailey took a deep breath. "You're right, you're right. It's just, the last thing we did was fight. I can't-- what if..." She sniffled. "What if that's the last time I saw her?"

Then, she threw herself into Jay's arms and wrapped her arms loosely around his neck.

"I'll take care of her," he said quietly to Adam and Will. "Figure out what happened. And, Will, come tell us right away."

Will nodded and then Jay walked away with his very distraught wife still holding onto him.

Once they were out of earshot, Will turned his gaze directly onto Adam.

"What the hell happened?" he asked and threw his arms up above his head in exasperation.

"Let me preface this by saying that you will not like this answer." Will cocked an eyebrow at the head guard, urging him to continue. "A new guard had to take a leak."

"A guard had to take a piss?" Will practically yelled. "That's why we're in this mess? That's why Harper's missing? They know they aren't supposed to use the bathroom unless someone else can cover their post for them when there's a huge event or until the event's over."

"Kevin's already fired him, don't worry about that."

Will sighed in frustration. "So how'd it happen? How'd the lights go out?"

"You know how they're all connected to one main lamp?" Will nodded. "Whoever infiltrated lit a match and caused the coil to get too hot, thus causing the main lamp to pop--"

"...which caused all the rest of them in the ballroom to go out," Will finished. "I knew it was a bad idea to have them connected to one. I'll send a telegram to Casey right now to get him to change that and make them have different sources. Do you have any idea where they went? Any horse or wagon tracks to go off of?"

"That's what Kevin's looking at right now with others. But, I'm assuming that since they came in through the east window, that they came from the east."

"Is that the first place he's checking for tracks?"

"Yes."

"Good. We need to find her and get her home in one piece."

***

"God!" Hailey yelled when she and Jay were back in their bedroom, a guard outside their door. She was pacing nervously in front of their large, canopied bed while Jay sat on the edge of it, trying to calm down his wife. The coffee that he had Kim bring them was all but forgotten on the table in front of the newly lit fireplace. "She didn't even want to have a ball in the first place! If we just listened to her--"

"Hailey!" Jay yelled at her. She stopped pacing and whipped around to face him. He never raised his voice at her. Ever. Jay held his hands up in a sign of surrender. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. But, I need you to calm down--"

"Don't tell me what to do!" she snapped. But then, she took a deep breath and lowered her voice. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "I expect you not to yell at me, but then I yell at you. It's unfair, really. I'm sorry."

Jay stood up and walked over to her. Then, he placed his hands on her shoulders and looked directly into her teary eyes. "Hailey, you have nothing to apologize for. Your sister's missing. You have every right to be angry and yell."

"I know, I know. But this isn't your fault. And here I am, yelling at you. It's not fair for me to do to you."

"Listen, they'll find her. I promise you that."

"But how do you know that?"

"Because you and her didn't just escape your hellish dad for her to go down like this. She'll be okay. We'll find her and bring her home."

A tear rolled down Hailey's cheek and she took a deep, shaky breath. "How do you always do this? Talk me down?"

"Well, I have had ten years of practice now," he replied cheekily. Hailey faintly smiled and shook her head. "C'mon, let's drink this coffee before it turns into icicles, and then we can go to bed or get an update from Adam, Kevin, or Will if you want."

Hailey took Jay's hand and the two sat by the fireplace and drank their coffee, but worry was swirling around both of their heads.

***

Harper coughed as she slowly awoke in a damp and dingy place, the candle on the floor sitting in the rusty candle holder the only light. She felt rope digging into her wrists. The stone was rough and cold against her back.

"Princess, you awake?" she heard someone say.

Wait, she knew that voice. That was the voice of the man she was dancing with at the ball when all the lights went out. Blake something.

She coughed again. "I think so."

"I'll take that as a yes, then."

"Where are we?" she asked, her voice scratchy.

"Some dungeon of sorts, I think," Blake Something answered.

Harper's eyes grew wide as the door opened and closed. A burly man walked in, holding two bowls of what looked to be soup.

"Harper Upton and Blake Gallo-Severide," the man said as he paced the small, dimly lit room. "I was just going for the girl, but picking up another royal at the same time, one that the family doesn't like, well, I'd say that's quite a catch."

"What do you want?" Blake spat.

"Oh, wow, quite a mouth on you for a royal, huh, boy? Well, since you asked, I didn't particularly want you; you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, but Harper here..." he trailed off and walked closer to Harper. He twirled a strand of her blonde hair, causing Harper to squeeze her eyes shut. "I needed her to get the king to agree to my demands."

Seeing as Harper was too terrified of this man to even speak, Blake took it upon himself to speak on her behalf. "You'll never be able to get King Halstead!" he yelled. "And, if you take her, there's no way in hell he'll give himself up!"

"Oh, but if I take the prince in exchange for Harper, then the king will give himself up for his brother. Funny how family works, isn't it? Now, here's your broth. Your hands are tied, so figure out how to eat it."

He let out a menacing laugh and then left the room, slamming the door shut with a loud thud.

"Do you know him?" Blake asked.

"No," Harper answered. "I have no idea who that it is. All I know is that he's going to hurt the only real family I've ever had." She paused. "And, you're a Severide? God, of all the people I had to get kidnapped with, it had to be you, didn't it?"

"Look," he started, "I know our families don't see eye to eye on how to treat their people--"

"Treat them?" she asked rhetorically. "Your family doesn't even help them! If there's a drought, you do nothing! A flood, you do nothing! You let your people starve when you could be helping them!"

"It's not me!" he yelled, but then quickly lowered his voice. "It's not me. It's my Grandpa Benny's rule. My mom and dad vowed to change things, but since he's still alive..." he trailed off.

"You can't do anything."

"Correct. Now, let's try to eat this soup, yeah?"

"But how? Our hands are tied."

Blake scooted himself across the floor and gripped the bowl with his tied hands. He could move his hands in the knot they were in, just not have them separate at the wrists. And, since his hands were bigger, he had no trouble wrapping his hands around part of the bowl. "Like this," he said.

Harper tried what he was doing, but since her hands were a lot smaller, it wasn't working. And, there's no way she'd be able to grip a spoon since her fists would just touch. The only thing the two could do was move their hands in and out since they were tied together at the wrists.

"C'mere, Princess," Blake beckoned.

"Why?" Harper asked.

"Well, you're hungry, aren't you?"

"Of course I am," she replied, still very confused.

"Move closer to me and I'll tip the broth into your mouth for you to sip. Fine by you, Princess?"

"I mean, I guess," she answered sheepishly and did her best to move closer to Blake.

Once she was close enough, he told her some more important things. "If you want me to put the bowl down, just tap the back of my hand twice." She nodded. "Ready, Princess?" She nodded again and he held the bowl up to her lips and slightly tipped it.

She sipped and never once had broth tasted so good. She was so hungry, as she had no idea how long she had been out or down in this dingy, dungeon-like area.

"I can promise you," Blake started after he and Harper were both finished with their broth, "that we'll get out of here."

"How can you promise that?" she asked, whipping her head towards him. "We don't even know where we are for Christ's sake!"

"Hey, my dad may be a prince and next in line for the throne, but he taught me a lot of things that might end up being useful in this very type of situation."

***

"What the fuck do you mean you haven't found anything yet?" Jay roared at three in the morning.

Hailey had finally fallen asleep from the pure exhaustion of crying her eyes out. Jay had had his arms wrapped around her in bed and hadn't slept at all, so he had untangled himself from her slowly and quietly enough that she didn't wake up, and made his way around the castle until he found Adam, Kevin, and Will talking in Will's study.

"Jay, calm down! We're working as hard as we can! Me and Kevin haven't slept in almost a day!" Adam said, trying to calm down his friend.

"Well, me either! God, how did this happen in the first place? I mean, I know, but how can you not find her? She couldn't have gotten that far, goddammit!"

"Everybody, just take a deep breath," Will said, commanding the room. Then, he turned to Jay. "Jay, I know you're frustrated because she's like a little sister to you--hell, she's like a little sister to me, too--but we can't do anything if Adam and Kevin don't get some sleep and let other guards take over--"

"So you're letting our two best guards sleep when Harper's missing? Unbelievable!" He threw his hands in the air.

"It'll be until sun up and then they'll be back helping the others," Will reassured his little brother. "But right now, what's best is for them is to sleep and let another head guard take over."

"Then give me all the information you've already gathered and let me lead the guards," Jay argued.

"That's not safe and you know it," Kevin said.

"He's right," Adam agreed. "Even if we did give you all the information we had, you'd still hit a dead end. And, you have battle training obviously, but not as extensive as we do. If they took Harper, that probably means that they want you and Will, so as Kevin said, it's not safe for you to go out and try to find her." He looked between Jay and Will. "That goes for both of you."

"Fine. Sleep why don't you. In the meantime, I'll look over these notes and maps and see if I can find anything."

"Jay--" Will began.

"No, Will! I know you're the king and all, but I was the one who pulled her out of that river ten years ago! I'll be damned if I let her die from this!"

***

"I got it! I fucking got it!" Jay yelled around six in the morning while he was working on his third cup of coffee and Will was half-asleep in his desk chair.

"How?" Will yawned. "How'd you figure it out when even our highly skilled guards couldn't?"

"I just, I remembered something, okay?"

"And that something is...?" Will trailed off.

"She was dancing with Kelly Severide's son when she was taken."

"Blake?"

"Yeah. So, they either tried to get into Severide's kingdom after they took the two or they're in ours or they're really close to Severide's."

"So they're in a place where they know we wouldn't look because it's not in our kingdom," Will said as he put the pieces together and sat up straighter in his chair, suddenly wide awake.

"Exactly."

"I'll go tell the guards."

***

"We're never gonna get out of here," Harper groaned as she and Blake tried their best to get some sleep with their backs against the stone wall.

"Never say never, Princess. Never say never," Blake said.

"Wow, didn't know you were a poet, too. Fantastic."

Harper closed her eyes again to try to get some sleep before they'd be woken up at god knows when to eat god knows what. At the same time, Blake was looking around the dungeon-like room for anything to help get them out of there.

He stood up, which caused Harper to open her eyes. "What are you doing?" she hissed.

"They missed a spoon when they brought the dinner dishes up," he answered as he sat down and then picked up the spoon with his hands which were still tied in front of him.

"How's a spoon going to help us?" Harper skeptically asked.

Blake moved closer to her, the spoon still in his hands. "Great question. I'm gonna get the end of this spoon in the space between the knots to hopefully make it loose and then untie the knot."

"And how do you expect to do that with tied hands?"

"Wow, you're quite the pessimist, aren't you?"

"Sorry, when you listen to Jay and Will bicker all the time, the negativity kind of just happens."

Blake chuckled. "Whatever you say, Princess. Whatever you say." He paused. "And, to answer your question, I am going to get your ties off first, then you'll help me with mine."

"But I don't know how to do that!"

"Just watch me and hopefully that'll help. And, it's not that hard; you just stick the end of the spoon in a knot to make it loose. Pretty simple actually."

Harper raised her eyebrows but held out her hands to Blake despite her skepticism. He stuck the end of the spoon in the knot he thought was the loosest and twirled the spoon back and forth until the gap was big enough that he could fit a finger from each hand in and wiggle it. Then, he worked on the remaining knots.

Ten minutes later, Harper slid her hands out of the rope.

"You did it!" she whisper-yelled. "Now, time for me to get you out of here."

Blake told her the knot he thought would be the loosest and she got the end of the spoon in there and twirled, just like Blake did. With Blake talking her through the entire thing, she got the rope off his wrist in fifteen minutes. There was some fraying in his, but it was off nonetheless.

"What now?" Harper asked.

"See that window up there?" Blake asked as he pointed above the right of their heads. It wasn't much of a window, just a collection of bars that were bolted together and were bolted to the inside of the wall. Harper nodded. "Now, we tie the rope to the third of five bars so it's centered and we pull it off the wall."

"Rope? Against iron? I may be a woman, but even I know that iron is stronger than rope," Harper said.

"It's rusty," Blake pointed out. "Therefore, it should be easy to get off its hinges."

"And how do you propose we tie the rope to it since it's so high up?"

Blake squatted down. "Grab the rope and hop on my back, Princess."

"Fine. Just let me move these candles over here more so that I can actually see what I'm doing."

Harper moved the candles to either side of the window--on the floor of course--and then grabbed the less-frayed rope. Then, she got on Blake's back.

He boosted her up as high as he could, but she still had to stretch to tie the rope to that third bar on the window. Once she tied multiple knots that Blake deemed tight enough, only then did he put her back on her own two feet.

Then, he grabbed the slightly more frayed rope and tied it to the end of the other rope.

"Now, we have to pull hard. And, I want you in front of me because it'll work best if I'm in the back," Blake explained.

"But what if that grate hits me in the face?" Harper asked.

"Well, for starters, the minute it starts getting really loose, I'll tell you to get out of the way and I'll finish pulling it off. Secondly, when it comes off, I need to make sure it doesn't hit the floor, so I'm going to need to choke up on the rope when it starts getting really loose so that I can hold it and make sure it doesn't hit the floor."

"Okay, this is actually a pretty good plan. Who knew Prince Severide would be able to teach his son all this?"

"It's all--"

"I know, it's all Benny who's doing the things to your people. Now, let's get out of here. Maybe you can talk to Benny after this, but first, we need to get out of here before people wake up."

They positioned themselves on the rope, Harper in the front and Blake in the back. Then, they pulled, making their hands rope burned. But, at this point, neither of them cared; all they cared about was escaping wherever the hell they were.

Once Blake deemed it loose enough for Harper to let go, she did and stood off to the left. Then, he got closer on the rope and pulled. He heard the tell-tale creak of it only hanging on by one side.

He gave it one more pull...

Harper could've cheered when the grate came free of its bearings, giving them an out. But, she kept her mouth shut. Blake made sure to still be choking up on the rope so that it didn't hit the floor. It swung past Harper on her right side and towards the back of the dungeon-like room. But, she didn't know where it was on its backswing.

"Har--"

Harper felt a searing pain as the jagged edges of the grate ripped through the sleeve of her blue ballgown and into her tricep. She was about to cry out when she felt a hand clamp over her mouth.

"Don't scream," Blake whispered as he slowly lowered the rope connected to the grate to the ground, making sure that the grate barely made a noise as it hit the concrete.

Harper nodded with his hand still clamped around her mouth.

"I'm going to let go now," Blake warned. Harper nodded again.

Then, he removed his hand.

Harper bit down on her lip from the pain. She knew it was deep because she felt the blood trickling down her arm and heard the pitter-patter of blood droplets hitting the floor. Out of the corner of her eye, she also saw the sleeve of her ballgown was beginning to be stained a shade of crimson.

"So, how we're getting out of here," Blake began, "because we'll talk about that cut once you're out, is that I'm going to boost you up so that you can crawl out." He handed her the less frayed section of the rope after he untied it from the other section which was still connected to the grated window. "Then, you tie this to the first tree you see and toss the other end back down and I'll scale it and get myself out the window."

Harper clamped her left hand over her right tricep. "How do you--"

"Know how to scale a wall?" Blake asked. She nodded. "There's only so many ways you can sneak out of a castle and not get caught...also pretty sure my dad did that when he was a kid, so I guess it runs in the family."

"Okay," Harper said and removed her hand from her arm. "Let's get out of here."

Blake untied the section of rope and handed it to her. Then, she gingerly got on his back once more, being careful to use her right arm as little as possible. He walked forward and stopped in front of the window.

"You can do this, Princess," he encouraged.

With that, Harper pushed herself up and out of the dungeon-like wherever they were, and then started running, the rope trailing behind her.

She saw a tree to her left and ran towards it, cut arm forgotten because of all the adrenaline rushing through her veins. Then, she wrapped the rope around the tree and tied a few super tight knots.

She ran back to the window with the end of the rope.

"Coming down," she whisper-yelled to Blake and dropped the end of the rope down to him.

She watched as he effortlessly scaled the wall and pulled himself up and out the window.

"What do we do now?" Harper asked once he was out as well.

"Run," he answered.

So, Harper hiked up her blue ballgown and tried to keep up with him as the two of them ran to the left and to their safety.

***

Jay stared at the maps in front of him for what seemed like hours. He went back and forth over the map of the border between his and Severide's kingdoms (a few miles of each kingdom included on each side) and the map of Severide's kingdom. He had maps from fifty years ago, twenty years ago, ten years ago, and current maps spread out on Will's desk and on the floor. He was frantically trying to find any notable difference in any of the maps, frantically trying to find any place that Harper and Blake could be hidden away that no one thought existed anymore.

His eyes widened when he found a small difference in the map of the border: it was an old well that had been there ten years ago but wasn't there now. This meant that there was an old well worker's house near there that wasn't being used now, either.

Jay grabbed the pencil he had been using and quickly drew a circle around the well and the house.

"Will, Will! I think I got it!" he exclaimed.

"I'm awake, I'm awake," Will repeated from his chair where he had previously been half asleep. He rubbed his eyes and sat up straight and leaned towards his little brother. "What have you got now?"

Jay waved him over and the two leaned over the desk. "This," Jay said as he jabbed a finger at the map from ten years ago. "This well was there ten years ago, but it's not there now." He pointed to the empty spot on the map. "See?"

Will nodded. "And you think they took Harper there because it's close to the border."

"Exactly."

The door creaked as it was pushed open and Jay and Will immediately looked up.

"Hailey," Jay said and started towards her. "What are you doing awake? It's five in the morning."

"I'm well aware of the time, Jay. But, I couldn't sleep. I'm too worried."

She made her way over the desk and her eyes scanned the maps in front of the two royals. She furrowed her eyebrows.

Jay noticed how pensive she was. "What? You look like you're thinking pretty hard there."

"That well," Hailey began as she put her finger on the map right where that well was. "I know it."

"You do?" Will asked, now as intrigued as his brother.

Hailey nodded. "That was about half a mile (800 meters) from my house. My mother used to go down to get our water from there. But, they stopped using it because there was a new one built a few months before me and Harper came here." She paused. "You think that's where they're holding them?"

"I mean, it's plausible," Jay answered, not wanting to be the one to give her hope or give her disappointment. "It's five miles from the border, making it seven miles from the palace. They could force them to walk five miles in a day or during the night if they had to."

Hailey quickly started towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Jay asked, starting towards his wife.

"To get our coats. I know the area better than you, so I'm going with you and the guards to find Harper. And don't you dare tell me no. If it'll make you feel better, I'll even ride with Adam so that I'm safer."

Jay pursed his lips.

"You cannot be thinking about letting her go!" Will yelled and then received a stern look from Jay for yelling. "Sorry, sorry, Hailey," he quickly apologized. "And, neither of you or me for that matter, should be going. It's too dangerous."

"Will, we'll be okay. We'll bring multiple guards and me and Hailey will stay in the middle, so that way we won't be open targets. You, on the other hand, do need to stay here," Jay said.

"And let you two go alone...even with guards? No way! There's no way in hell, Jay!" He yelled this quieter than the last time so that he didn't receive a glare from Jay.

"Man, you're the king. You've probably got a bigger bounty on your head than me and Hailey, so please, for the love of all things holy, stay here."

"If you two go, make sure you both come back in one piece. And bring Harper back."

***

As Harper's eyes adjusted to the darkness of the night while she and Blake ran away from the place where they were being held captive, she thought she recognized where they were. She vaguely remembered seeing that well that they had just ran by. She and Hailey would come to it for a drink on a hot summer's day after being outside in the heat all day. In the winter, she remembers being cold while she carried a bucket maybe a quarter of the way full back home while her mother and Hailey each carried two buckets that had been practically full. But, Harper had been eager to help and their mother took any chance that she could get to get her children away from their abusive father.

"Wait," she said, which caused Blake to slow down so that Harper could catch up to him. The blood on her tricep was now oozing down onto her wrist and hand as her wound continued to bleed. "I know this place."

"You do?" Blake asked.

"I think so. I'm pretty sure this is where me and Hailey grew up before she got us out of there and we went to live with Will and Jay. It'd be a lot easier to know if we had a torch."

"I mean, I'm pretty sure I could make us one," Blake said.

"No, that's okay. We just need to walk close to the houses. Most of them should have fires lit for a bit of heat and light...that is, if I'm remembering right. That should help us until we find the right house."

"The right house? Princess, not to be rude, but what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about us staying inside my old house until the morning if it's empty."

Blake cocked his head to the side. Harper's idea actually wasn't that bad. "Lead the way, Princess."

***

They were there: safety.

Blake put an arm out in front of him, silently telling Harper to stay behind him. Then, he pushed the old wooden door open. It wasn't that hard even though it did creak loudly due to all the rust on its hinges.

Then, he took a step inside and a few seconds later, beckoned for Harper to follow.

He walked over to the fireplace and swept a finger over the mantle, which caused his finger to be covered in dust. He waved his hand in the fireplace, gathering cobwebs all over his hand.

"I don't think this house has been used in years," he said. "Cobwebs are all over my hand from the fireplace."

"And they wouldn't be in there if someone had been lighting fires," Harper finished.

"Exactly." He felt around the mantle some more and then he felt what he was looking for: two candles and a box of matches. Most people left theirs on the mantle, and if this was Harper's family's old house, he was glad that they had done the same thing.

He fumbled with the box of matches until he got one out and then he struck it against the box and quickly used it to light the candles and then blew out the match and dropped it on the floor and crushed it with his foot.

He handed a candle to Harper but gasped at the same time.

"What?" she asked immediately. "What's wrong?"

"It's just that, you're really bleeding."

"Yeah, I know. But there's not much I can do about that right now." She turned her attention to where the door to the kitchen was and took a few steps closer. There, in that door, was the hole from the doorknob that Hailey had cut out all those years ago. "This is my old house."

"How do you know?"

"The hole in the door."

"How'd that happen?"

"That's a story for another day."

Blake nodded. "Fair enough. But for now we need to figure out how to stop that bleeding. How many layers are in that dress of yours, Princess?"

"Now, why would you need to know that, Prince?"

Blake chuckled. "I'm Prince now, huh?"

"You keep calling me Princess, so I figured it's only fair. But, why do you care so much about my dress?"

"I wanted to rip off a piece of the top layer and then tie it around your arm to hopefully stop the bleeding."

Harper sat down on the dirty floor and splayed her dress out in front of her. "Do it. It's really hurting."

Blake squatted down next to her. "You haven't complained once, though."

"Yeah, because we were running for our lives, Blake! I had more pressing matters to attend to!

Blake laughed. "Slow your roll, Princess." He set the candle down next to him and gently separated the first layer of the dress from the rest of the layers of the dress. Then, he made a tiny rip and paused and looked up at Harper. "Time to get that wound covered for the time being."

Then, all that could be heard between the two was Blake ripping a layer of fabric and then Harper grunting in pain when he tightly tied the strip of fabric around her right tricep.

***

The group of guards, along with the prince and princess, rode through the kingdom on horseback in the dead of night. Even though Hailey knew that the guards knew every inch of the kingdom inside and out, she still gave directions every once in a while.

They got to the old well and the old well worker's house.

"I'll stay here with two others," Adam said. "Kevin, you and the other four go inside and sweep the place. Go get Harper. Do whatever you have to do to get them back."

***

It felt like forever to Hailey and Jay, but it was only ten minutes. They heard yelling and sounds of things crashing to the floor and when they came out, they had three men with them.

"It looks like Harper and Blake escaped," Kevin announced. "We found these three bastards asleep and they didn't even realize they were gone."

"We just wanted change in our kingdom--" one started.

"Quiet!" Kevin boomed. "The only change you're gonna get is living in a dungeon the rest of your life. Now, did anyone help you besides these two? And I suggest that you don't lie to me or else I can easily make sure there's rats in there with you every single day."

"No," the man said and the two others shook their heads.

Adam waved his hand.

"We'll get them to the dungeon. We'll question them more once we're there."

Adam nodded and then Kevin and three other guards got the men on horseback and walked next to the horses so that they knew that the prisoners wouldn't escape. Then, they made their way back to the Halstead palace while Adam tried to figure out what to do next.

"Go half a mile that way," Hailey suggested as she pointed to the left.

"Princess, no disrespect, but why?" Adam asked.

"Our childhood home is that way. Maybe Harper and Blake went to stay there for the night."

"You heard her!" Jay ordered. "Go!"

***

Harper stiffened as she heard muffled voices coming from outside.

"You hear them, too?" Blake asked.

"Uh-huh," she confirmed.

He grabbed a candle and held it out in front of him. "Get behind me, Princess."

The door started to open slightly.

The minute Harper saw to stripe of color on the guard's boot, showing what kingdom she was from, she rushed out in front of Blake.

"Harper--"

"It's okay! It's okay! They're guards!"

When Hailey heard Harper's voice, she immediately jumped down from the horse, despite Adam trying to stop her.

"I don't care if it's not safe, Adam!" she argued. "Harper's in there, so I need to go!"

"I'll go with her," Jay said quickly and jumped off of his horse and quickly stood in front of Hailey.

The minute the two were in the door, Hailey rushed out from behind Jay and sprinted to her little sister.

"Oh thank God," she exclaimed and pulled Harper into a tight hug. "Thank God you're okay!"

Harper winced as Hailey's arm wrapped around the wound on her arm and squeezed. Hailey quickly pulled away.

Jay's eyes widened as he saw the wound on Harper's arm. The girl who he saw as a little sister was hurt...and he couldn't be sure who did it. While Hailey started to bend down to take a closer look at the ripped flesh, Jay took a giant step towards Blake.

"Did you do this?" he yelled.

"No, I--"

"Then explain to me! Explain to me what happened to her!"

"He didn't do it!" Harper yelled. Jay and Hailey looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue. "When we got out and got the grate off, when it came down, it hit me in the arm and cut me." She winced as Hailey lifted up the fabric that Blake had tied her arm off with. "Shit, this really hurts."

Normally, Jay or Hailey would scold her for her language, but given the circumstances, they both found it appropriate to swear.

"Does anything else hurt besides the arm?" Jay asked, seeing as Hailey was too worried about her sister to even speak. "Did they hurt you at all?"

"No, no they didn't. Just tied our wrists and kept us in this dingy dungeon place."

"Okay, well we should get you back." He turned to Blake. "We should get both of you back."

Blake nodded. "With all due respect Prince Jay, my family's palace is closer. Wouldn't it make more sense if we brought Harper there? Sylvie could stitch up her arm and she could rest there a few hours before you started back to your palace."

Hailey turned to Jay. "He does have a really good point."

He sighed. "Fine. But, I'm going back to our palace with one of the guards and then I'll meet you at Severide's. I want to know why this happened."

***

A few hours later, Harper's wound was fully stitched up and free from any bacteria thanks to Sylvie. Hailey was sipping coffee near her sister's bedside while Blake sat across from her, finally succumbing to sleep the same as Harper.

Jay, on the other hand, was just entering Severide's palace with Will in tow.

"Halsteads," Kelly said as Will and Jay, along with Kevin, entered Kelly's huge study. Benny was there, too. "Blake filled me in on what happened. God, that kid. From having his parents die in a fire and me and Stella taking him in, it's like he can't catch a break. We just wanted him to have a nice time at the ball last night and then all this happened."

Will cocked his head to the side and took a step forward. "Wait. So you knew that Blake went to the ball and that he still wasn't home and you didn't send guards out to search for him? Unbelievable."

Kelly held his hands up in surrender. "Hey, I thought the kid might be getting some action. Lord knows all three of us did after balls back in the day."

Benny cleared his throat, clearly not wanting to hear about his son's escapades.

"Did we get anything from the kidnappers?" Benny asked.

"First of all," Jay began, "we, didn't do anything. Kevin here did most of the work and yes he did get some answers." Jay took a step back. "Kevin, care to explain what they told you?"

"The three men that kidnapped Prince Gallo-Severide and Princess Halstead were from your kingdom," he said as he nodded towards Benny and Kelly. "They were angry that you weren't doing anything for your people, and since our palace is apparently easier to get in just because of the architecture, they decided to get into the ball, kidnap the princess to try to get to King Will here, and then hold him for ransom until either Prince or King Severide came to get him."

"And why would we--" Benny started, but his son quickly cut him off.

"Oh shut up, father! You know I'd do it!"

"I mean, I guess I can see it." Benny shrugged.

Will cleared his throat. "With that now explained, are you going to do anything to help your people? Because if this happened once, it could easily happen again. I'm not usually one to give in, but in these circumstances, you need to. Hell, you've needed to before Harper and Blake were kidnapped!"

"Don't you dare--"

"Father!" Kelly yelled. "Will's right! Things need to change! Not that you'd understand because you barely know how to run a kingdom, hence why ours has gone to utter shit. We need change and we need it now."

"I'm still the king!"

"And I don't give a damn! You were galavanting the world, leaving your people, our people to suffer and being a terrible ruler." Kelly took a deep breath and lowered his voice. "If you don't do this, I will side with the rebels so that they can get what they want."

"You wouldn't!"

"Oh, but I would. And, you know as well as me that I never back down."

Kelly and Benny stared at each other.

"So?" Jay asked. "What's it going to be?"

"Yes," Kelly agreed. "What is it going to be? Have a traitor for a son or be a good person and help the people of our kingdom?"

Benny threw his arms in the air. "Fine, fine! I'll do it! I'll start focusing more on our kingdom, starting by making sure that prices for food are reasonable so that everyone can have food."

"That's all I ask," Kelly said. He turned back to the two Halsteads. "Now, do you guys want to see Harper? I'm pretty sure Hailey and Blake are with her now, but I've got no problem bringing you two down there while my father sorts things out." He threw a glare towards his father and then quickly turned his attention back to Will and Jay.

"That'd be great," Jay said. "Thank you."

***

"Good morning," Blake whispered when he noticed that Harper was finally waking up. That girl slept a lot compared to how much he slept after their whole ordeal. "Or should I say afternoon," he chuckled.

"It was a long night," Harper said.

"Care to head back to our palace in a few hours?" Jay asked. "No offense, Blake, but I'm sure her bed would be more comfortable than an infirmary bed."

"No offense taken at all."

"I'm just so glad you're okay," Hailey said and reached for Harper's hand. She moved her gaze between both Blake and Harper. "I'm so glad that both of you are okay. And, according to Jay and Kelly, some good is going to come out of this in that Benny is going to try and help his people."

"Good," Harper said. Then, she turned to Blake. "Since I guess you're not so bad at all, Prince Blake, I hope to see you at the next ball?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world, Princess." Blake smiled.

"See?" Jay started. "I told you that you're a princess, Harper."

A/N: Sorry this has taken me so long to get out! School started and I had a couple of rough shifts at work, so I wasn't in the mood to write. I know it's not August, but I started this at the end of August, so I'm still counting this as part of AU-gust. Also, the picture at the top is from the Biltmore House/Mansion that I visited in mid-August. (I took the picture.) Anyway, thank you so much for reading! And, please remember to like/reblog, comment, and send me asks! I love hearing what you guys think! As always, if you want to be added to my taglist, just tell me and I’ll add you.

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch @liampayne88

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ladyanaconda · 3 years

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Helluva Dad Vol. 3: Nerd

As I mentioned in the first one-shot, the events of the Harvest Moon Festival took place before Murder Family in this AU, so the discovery of the angelic weapon went differently. In other words, this prequel is where the canon divergence begins. Enjoy!

*HB-*

It's gonna be nice working with him. I asked him if he wants to join I.M.P.

Moxxie couldn't get those words out of his head. Striker working at I.M.P.? As much as he hated to admit it, he could actually picture it. The cowboy was an ace at… Well, everything, as far as he knew. This didn't mean Moxxie was happy at the prospect of having him as a co-worker, however. Striker had done nothing but rub Moxxie's lack of physical strength and 'balls to his face; heaven, even Striker's five-year-old kid made fun of him in a more innocent, child-like manner.

Moxxie felt a pit in the bottom of his stomach; if Striker does join I.M.P., where would this leave him in the company? Blitzo's the boss, Millie the powerhouse, and Striker might as well replace Moxxie as the weapons expert, not to mention become an additional powerhouse. Where would that leave Moxxie? Besides, he wasn't sure if he wanted to work with the guy who humiliated him via song, the one thing Moxxie thought he'd at least be better at.

Joe and Lynn never liked Moxxie for Millie from the beginning. 'Too much of a wimpy fag', he overheard them say more than once. 'He can't handle something as simple as gathering eggs from the chicken coop*, how is he going to protect or provide for Millie?' Striker, on the other hand, was strong, imposing, fearless, manly. They treated him more like a son-in-law than Moxxie even if the cowboy wasn't wedded into the family. Moxxie was no fool; he'd seen his parents-in-law subtly trying to get Millie alone with Striker and have them spend time together, practically screaming 'dump your wimp of a husband and fuck this real man'.

These thoughts crossed Moxxie's mind as he climbed upstairs. Everyone else was outside, which was good because he wanted to be alone right now.

There was a thump in one of the rooms. Following the sound out of sheer curiosity, Moxxie noticed a white glow filtering underneath the door. Hey, isn't it Striker's room? Moxxie has a policy against entering someone's bedroom without permission, but his spite towards the cowboy imp and curiosity got the better of him.

He found little Jake on the bed. The impling looked frightened for a second until he noticed it was only Moxxie. "You not daddy!"

"What do you go there, little fella?"

"Nothig!" Jake spread out his arms in a feeble attempt at hiding whatever thing was on the bed. Moxxie only had to take a few steps forward to peek over Jake.

"Oh, my crumbs!" There, in a long case, was a beautiful black rifle with silvery designs that almost seemed to glow with a heavenly light. "A genuine carmine crafted blessing-tipped rifle."As Moxxie tried to touch it, Jake snapped his teeth at his hand. "Hey, watch it!"

"No touch! Daddy's rifle!" Jake growled adorably. Geez, the brat's got his father's awful character.

"How… How in the fuck did he get one of these?"

"Why don't you ask me, little dude?" Moxxie and Jake froze, though the latter seemed more like 'shit I'm in trouble' than 'shit I'm dead.

Striker was leaning against the door, arms crossed. He didn't look very happy.

"Boy, I thought we'd talked about this already," he told Jake sternly.

"I… I just wanna touch it, daddy." Jake whispered timidly.

"W-Why do you have this?! Mister!" Moxxie asked nervously. "You are aware this kind of weapon can kill…"

"...Demon royalty?" Striker finished grimly.

"Yes, that."

"Duuh! That what it for, dummy!" Jake stuck his tongue at Moxxie.

"Kiddo, Mrs. Lin is baking the lava berry pie you like so much. Why don't you go take a look while daddy has a word with Moxxie?" Did Striker just call him by his name? Jake yelled happily and climbed off the bed, speeding out of the room.

Moxxie felt a shiver down his spine as Striker closed the door shut behind him. "Well, I'm… I'm relatively concerned by your possession of this…" he stepped back warily as the cowboy walked towards him with a devilish grin, eyes glowing as he came to a halt right in front of Moxxie, silently staring down at him. "I'm also glad my instant dislike of you has been validated!"

Neither moved for a while. Then, against Moxxie's expectations, Striker gently moved him aside to gently run his fingers along the weapon's side. There was a sad, almost nostalgic look on his face.

"I cherish it, you know. It used to belong to someone who was very dear to me. Nowadays I rarely use it, though. So it's more like a memento." Moxxie was quite surprised at the emotion in his voice.

"Then you have used it."

"Well, I wasn't always a farmhand, little fella. Let's say I'd make a living as a hitman." Striker sat down on his bed, eyes on the rifle. "Whenever people wanted someone dead, they'd call me. Kind of what you guys do at I.M.P., but down here in Hell." He sighed. "Then my… priorities shifted."

Moxxie was about to ask him what he meant when he spotted a small box full of toys. "...Jake."

Striker nodded. "When Jake was born, I realized that kind of job endangered both my and his life on a nearly daily basis, so I had to retire and find a safer job. It's not as exciting as the thrill of shooting people's brains out of their skulls, but it puts bread on the table."

Moxxie wasn't sure what to say. Tentatively, he sat down next to Striker, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. He wasn't pushed off, so he guessed it was okay.

"You've done a decent job, you know. He's a good kid… Most of the time." he murmured the last part.

An awkward silence followed until Striker spoke again. "So, Blitz said you're I.M.P.'s weapons expert."

"I am. Why, is it such a surprise for you?"

Striker shrugged. "What can I say? You don't give that impression, wimp."

Offended, Moxxie pulled out his pistol. "Walther P.38!"

Striker raised an eyebrow. "Looks pretty anemic compared to the peacekeeper."

"It's not about size, you know. It's about stamina."

"Is that so?" Striker smirked. "What can you tell me about the Thompson submachine gun?"

"Fifty rounds a drum, twenty-five a mag!" Moxxie said in excitement. "It's a good weapon, but its cocking mechanism always jams. The Russian P.P.S. personal assault weapon is a better choice."

"Maybe, but in the end, it's the experience that wins the day. It's not all about firepower."

"Indeed! I mean, even the best gun in all of Hell can be wasted in the hands of a newbie."

Striker laughed and gave Moxxie a strong pat on the back, unintentionally sending him to the ground.

"Not bad, wimp. Looks like you are good at something, after all."

Moxxie blinked in disbelief. "Was that a compliment?"

"Don't get used to it, little nerd." Striker chuckled, smirking. "You still have a long way to go to earn my respect."

"Who're you calling a nerd?!"

"Bowtie, fragile arms, pushover, you're afraid of a mere rooster. Should I continue?"

"For your information, I'm not afraid of the rooster!" Moxxie crossed his arms. Striker raised an eyebrow. "...I simply don't like the idea of getting infected with the avian flu, thank you very much."

Smirking again, Striker closed the case and walked out of the room. "Nerd."

"I'm not a nerd!"

*HB*

*A callback to the scenes in some movies when someone goes to the chicken coops to collect the eggs and is attacked by the rooster. Come on, you can't tell me you don't see this happening to Moxxie. And if living roosters are a pain, just imagine one straight from Hell.

#helluva boss #helluva boss fanfiction #striker helluva boss #helluva boss au #helluva dad #helluva striker #oneshot #canon divergence #helluva boss moxxie #helluva boss jake

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littlelittlebear · 3 years

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Two Drifters | 3/3 Jeronica Secret Santa

@fangstomysweetpea oh my god.... its finally time!!!

The moment i’ve been aching for is finally here and i am HYPE

Happy Christmas my dear Tumblr-friend, I hope you enjoy this jeronica playlist/au/riverdale rewrite.

A couple things first, the descriptions on each song are just an outline as to whats happening in that moment/what the song calls for. Also, this is like a story, so its not really something you can play on shuffle lol. I’m confident you didn’t really need these “instructions” lmao, just want you to have a bomb-ass jeronica experience XDD

Also, you don’t have to “follow” the descriptions when you think them out, you can completely take the reigns too if you’d like!

So.... here ya go!!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1MflcKtyBDRjnP0giX03X4?si=ZcsD0GfxR0KevhgDpTZVKQ

And here are the descriptions-

Oxford Comma-

Locking eyes for the first time… wow. Just- everything is in slow motion.

Baby Doll-

Slow dancing in Pop’s after the dance. (V goes to Pop’s instead of Archie)

Can I call you tonight?-

Jughead and Veronica’s moments of glee when they finally set up a date with each other. Veronica squeals and jumps up and down, Jughead punches the air, they both fall down on the bed with blissful looks on their faces. Two cinnamon rolls.

“So, I’ll call you tonight?”

“Yes! *Too enthusiastic- calm down Veronica* Yes. Call me tonight.”

*Que music*

Just Like a Movie-

Jughead calls this their theme song one day when they’re just hanging out in the student lounge as a joke.

Scrawny-

Veronica calls this Jughead’s theme song in response, they have a good laugh and Jughead rolls his eyes at the lyrics A LOT.

Space Girl-

Jughead calls this Veronica’s theme song- because she’s “oUt oF tHiS worLD!”.

She smacks his arm for being so cheesy.

Good Morning-

The morning after they do the “horizontal tango” with each other for the first time, they dance in Veronica’s kitchen, knowing all the words- only to be interrupted by an amused Hermione Lodge.

Unforgettable-

Their first Christmas together, spent snowed in at The Pembrooke. But honestly, they don’t mind.

Shake it out-

Jughead and Veronica cry together after her parents blackmail them/force them to break up. #parentssuck.

Your star-

Coping with the breakup, newsflash- they aren’t, or when they are... they don’t go the healthiest route. So. Much. Angst.

Rare-

Veronica changes up her style a little bit, which really is just lower cut tops, just trying to forget about Jughead- does a lil sexy performance singing to this at a pep rally.

Out the door-

Jughead never leaving the depressional stage of grief.

+ Exchanging broken looks that just scream “I’m not over you.”

I can’t get you off my mind-

Drunkenly hooking up at a party because their tension recently had just been… w o w

Drugs-

Sneaking around- sexy times ;)

Why Do You Love Me-

Having a screaming match, then a very angry/hot makeup session, then very angry sex XD

The Wind-

After some hOrIzOnTaL TaNGo at Sweetwater River, they admit that they can’t keep away from each other, saying that they love each other for the first time- followed by Veronica crying tears of joy cuz she’s never done that before- and that they’re going to work everything out, together. They just hold each other after that.

“I love you, Princess.”

Veronica props herself on her elbow to face him (they were laying down before)

Jughead sees her widened eyes. “Y-you don’t have to say it back, I know its ha-“

“I love you too, Jug”

You and I-

Montage of working at Pop’s for summer, ending with a jam sesh in Jughead’s trailer- Veronica just in his shirt and Jughead just in his sweats. FP comes in, surprised to see Veronica, but welcomes her easily. FP and Veronica bond, and he embarrasses Jug with some baby photos. While Jug’s probably beet-red, he can’t help but completely oggle at Veronica- happy that they don’t have to hide from his dad anymore.

Start a Riot-

Jeronica send a little message to Hiram through security cameras (they just make out lmao), showing that he can’t keep them apart. They then proceed to trash Hiram’s jingle jangle lab. :)

Moon River-

Slow dancing after having been crowned homecoming King and Queen. And of course, because Veronica is 1/2 of this relationship- this becomes their song.

“That’s us.”

“What do you mean?” Veronica asks, confused.

“The two drifters in the song. ‘Two drifters, off to see the world.’ That’s us”

Veronica’s eyes start to gloss.

“I absolutely love that. And you.”

Teenagers-

Being the badass power couple they are, being 100% team Serpent against the Bulldogs during the riots. Its all one long shot too- no cuts :))

A Sunday Kind of Love-

Looking at each other in slow motion (wow- I really love putting stuff in slow motion) when Veronica is officially named Serpent queen, they’re absolutely smitten with each other. Cut to them dancing in the Wyrm to the song, discussing how they’re going to make their big debut as Riverdale’s resident power couple… second to Choni of course.

“So… now that I’m your queen, I was thinking had a debut of sorts. Just to educate the public of this new order.” Veronica jabs, only kind of joking.

Jughead laughs, but it sounds more of a huff.

“Could you settle for a hand-in-hand entrance at school? Or would you be more comfortable with a red carpet event?”

Glory-

Veronica and Jughead walking into school as Serpent Royalty with matching Serpent jackets- no special colours thank you very much. You can bet your ass its in slow motion.

Worlds Apart-

Veronica crying at Jughead’s bed-side after the Ghoulies fuck him up.

Boss Bitch-

Veronica gets revenge on the Ghoulies and Penny Peabody with the help of the female Serpents, the River vixens, Hermione, Betty, and Alice.

Le Symbolique-

Veronica and Jughead reunite from his state of unconsciousness, this whole sequence is in slow motion, with a lot of white lighting/glare. Jughead almost died and just that thought alone KILLED Veronica.

“Jug I was so scared-“

“Shush Ronnie, let me look at you.” His teary eyes trace over Veronica’s face with a beaming smile, before he brings his girlfriend closer and kisses the top of her forehead.

Harmony Hall-

Some core four bliss before it gets chaotic again, with a side of Jeronica and Barchie cuddles.

Not Your Barbie Girl-

A River vixen performance, Jughead is so fricken in love with Ronnie right now cuz she’s just RADIATING empowerment.

Therefore I Am-

Jeronica sends Hiram to jail again after a bomb ass one liner from Veronica:

“Mija, you have no idea what you’re doing.”

“Only one thing’s false in that sentence Hiram, I’m not your Mija anymore.”

(HELP ME I CAN’T WRITE)

*Proud Jughead smirk*

This Life-

Veronica meeting JB and Gladys, them getting along great- just a wholesome Lodge/Jones get-together.

Don’t Call Me Angel-

Veronica changes her name to Luna, fully emancipating herself from Hiram, and this gets Jughead really turned on XD

Sway With Me-

La Bonne Nuit’s first successful night, Josie, Veronica, Toni, and Cheryl perform. Veronica somehow convinces Jughead to dance with her in public. Think Moulin Rouge’s Diamond Dogs type editing.

My Oh My-

Getting screwed over my Hiram, Veronica is in a TON of debt and needs some “stress relief” with Jughead. He obliges. Happily.

HIP-

Veronica and Cheryl start their rum business, Jughead helps and oml he’s so proud of her. Btw, Cheronica are HUGE badasses right now.

Bury a friend-

Surviving Eversgreen Forest and Penelope Blossom…

Youth-

The core four are free from the forest, successfully escaping Penelope Blossom. Jughead and Veronica share a tearful but happy kiss, laying down on the back of a truck.

Don’t Take The Money-

The core four hang out at pops and promise to have fun this senior year, Jughead steals Veronica’s cherry from her milkshake, but being so vulnerable to Midget’s (He calls her Midget. Yup.) puppy dog eyes, he makes it up to her by sharing his fries.

“And for a brief, shining moment, we were kids again.” all that good shiz

The Four Seasons: “Winter”-

Jeronica hangs with the Stonewall psychos.

(Online Love)-

Veronica and Jughead FaceTime and Veronica has this vibe like she’s the montage of the hero’s dead girlfriend in a movie. Like her hair is all splayed out on her pillow and she’s all smiley-

“You look like an angel right now- with your hair like a halo and how much you’re smiling.”

Veronica laughs

“Well it’s your fault I’m smiling you idiot.” Her voice softens towards the end of the sentence.

“I love you too, Ron.”

El Tejano-

Party at Stonewall, Jeronica are absolutely WASTED. Fun fact- Jughead get’s really into PDA when he’s drunk

Burned Out-

Oh shit… I guess Jughead is dead now. (dw, Betty’s still the one who “kills him”)

Claire de Lune-

Just kidding, he’s alive, and he and Veronica have a really cute moment in the bunker. Veronica starts reading his novel, per his request, and he just starts playing this on the record player and she smiles but her eyes are still on the book. He just kind of watches her, and when she starts beaming at the book he can’t help but kiss her right there. Then they just cuddle and little bit, Veronica on Jug’s lap, reading the book some more.

Girls Like GIrls-

Veronica has to prove Jughead is dead, so she and Betty kinda sorta… make out. Like, a lot. Betty is dating Archie at this point, and he’s the one who gets “mad”. But basically Betty and Veronica end up making out again cuz they spot Donna watching them. Veronica is a bi con, and Betty might be too but everyones in denial so *shrugs*.

Dream Lover-

(Time skip, because I’m lazy) Jughead’s alive again, sadly, his spot at NYU was taken by well, Veronica. Luckily, after pulling some strings, she surprises Jug with a full-ride acceptance letter from NYU starting second semester.

Magic Moments-

Yay! Prom! Barchie gets crowned king and queen (Beronica was kind of forgotten about, but thats fine, because we’re here for Jeronica first). While Betty and Archie are totally lost in each other, Jughead and Veronica are just kind of joking around on the side. While it’s Barchie’s moment, Jeronica is still looking pretty damn cute rn. Also, this becomes Barchie’s song!!

Oxford comma-

The song comes through the speaker at prom, Jughead invites Veronica to dance. As they sway, they gaze at one another like they’re seeing one another for the first time, to the song that started it all.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

And thats it! Thats Jeronica’s story from season one to season four, I hope you have a very merry Christmas and I hope you liked your presents! Also, if anyone feels like adding on to the dialogue or using any of the points in a fic or even making a whole ass fanfiction- please do!! I didn’t do this justice with my mediocre quotes so it would actually be preferred XD.

And again, happy Christmas :))

#jeronica #jeronica nation #Jeronica Secret Santa 2020 #secret santa #jeronica secret santa #jeronica playlist #jeronica fanfictions #jeronica au #riverdale rewrite #jeronicasecretsanta20

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untaemedqueen · 4 years

Text

Deaths House on the Hill

Min Yoongi Vampire!AU

Your hands dig deeper into your hoodie pockets as you walk down the quiet streets of Sumneun, your combat boots making loud smacking noise as you walk towards the run down cathedral. Seems like an everyday tradition now to go towards this abandoned place. You had been here, what, a week and it was nothing like you thought it would be. Not at all what you wanted it to be. You wanted peace and quiet, not suddenly being pulled into strange nightlife and forgetting your night countless times. It was like the day was resetting itself and you would lose more and more of your nights memories as the day reset.

The gate was open again today, slightly more ajar than the previous day. You squeeze in not wanting to hear the hinges creak. The silence was welcoming and the stagnant air had a calm all of its own. You approach the usual grave before crouching down, dusting off the tombstone. “Min Yoongi.” You greet the tomb stone before sitting Indian style in front of the grave. You pick at some of the grass as you begin to speak aloud. “I know I’m strange right? I keep coming to visit you and you’ve been dead for over hundreds years. You’re name just sounds comforting.” You clear your throat before putting your head down. “I don’t belong here, in this strange town. I don’t even understand my reasoning for coming here. To get away? To get as far away from Seoul and the memory of Kihyun? I don’t know.” You lay your face on your hand as your cheeks inflate. “I don’t know if I should stay, there’s no reason to. I’m missing more and more memories of days.” A crow caws in the distance and you sigh. At least you get this small piece of quiet. It would only be your luck that Jiyeon would arrive soon, with her shrill voice and her pretty face. You put your body back as you lay on the dirt, the cold from the ground seeping through your clothes and hugging you tightly. The sky sprinkled with dark grey clouds looking as if they would open up any second and berate you with it’s tears. “It wouldn’t be such a bad place to live if I could be left alone.” You say aloud, your legs kicking at the ground before remembering you were on someone’s grave. “Sorry.” You mumble. As expected you feel small drops of water pattering your face and you sigh. “Just my luck, hmm, Yoongi. It would rain on me.” As you stand up dusting off your black jeans, you see movement out of the corner of your eye. “Jiyeon.” You curse to yourself and begin to walk toward the cathedral. “Y/N?!” You hear behind you, the shrill noise making you grit your teeth. “Don’t! There is evil in there!” She screams as you walk up the broken cathedral steps, being careful not to accidentally step into the deep cracks of the stairs. You turn towards her and smile slightly before raising your hand to give a wave. Sorry Jiyeon, i’d rather be attacked by demons then deal with you today and hear literally the same words uttered out of your mouth as you say everyday. Her eyes are wide with fear as you turn back around. You take in the cathedral doors up close for the first time. The white paint on the doors peeling and tattered, the doorknob a beautiful gold color with a faded ring around the whole knob symbolizing that this knob has been used many times. Demons wouldn’t use a doorknob, would they? You giggle to yourself as you turn the knob. The cathedral is probably locked, I mean its been out of commission for so long. The knob heats up in your hand and you turn the knob easily, the door creaking loudly as you push it open. You look at Jiyeon once more before giving a thumbs up. “NO!” She screams and you step inside the sept.

It was freezing in here but at least it wasn’t raining. You look around the dark religious building trying to adjust to the darkness. “Fuck.” You mutter suddenly realizing how STUPID you are and what a dumb idea this is. “You’re a fucking moron. Y/N. You’re so stupid.” You mumble to yourself as you pull out your phone and turning on the flashlight. “Whoa.” You say as you look around the cathedral, perfectly kept. No gross cobwebs or dust around. It was honestly beautiful from what your flashlight would show you. You turn towards the wall looking for a light switch. The place is creepy, granted there’s no one here and it’s so silent a pin could drop and you would hear it echo throughout the large roofed building. You search the wall, your feet taking small steps but the smacking of your boots on the marble spooking you with each step. You stop before discarding your boots, “Light switch.” You remind yourself in a very small whisper as you continue to search. Your hand grazes a polished wooden pew as you finally find the light switch. You flick the light switch, a small generating noise creeps through the church as the light flicker on. You look down at your donut socks and wiggle your toes, the marble floor freezing them as you stand still taking in the church before you. “Whoa.” You say as you walk down the middle aisle, your hand curving over every pew corner as you approach seven thrones on the altar, they were assembled in a V shape, the largest throne had black felt and black metallic studs. “What kind of church is this?” You ask looking around for religious figures or paintings. There was none of that in this place. It was indeed really strange. You clear your throat before looking around. The middle throne calling your name, “I guess I could sit.” You whisper looking around. This place was gigantic, you sit in the chair before staring out at the dozens of pews in front of you. This place was so intriguing, your eyes not knowing where to look. The stained glass windows depicting not the typical scenery of religious figures but of men, one man in particular sticks out in all the windows. You try to put together the story but unfortunately with some of the windows being cracked it was difficult to decipher. You place your arm on the thrones arm rest as you tilt your body comfortably. You look up at a large organ on the upper balcony its copper tubing stretching up towards the beamed roof. “Wow.” You imagine someone playing that monstrous piano and you smile. You could imagine how beautiful the sounds would be from the instrument.

You sit back comfortably as you stare up at the ceiling counting each beam. “Hello again.” You hear to your right, you jump putting your hand over your heart the scream emitting from your throat was sharp and shrill. You put your hands over your face. “FUCK!” You scream standing up quickly. You look over the man who spoke as you back up. “I-I didn’t know, I’m sorry!” You say quickly as you notice how nice his clothes are, his black suit fitted perfectly to him, his lapels a nice blood red color. “Stay. It’s okay, I didn’t mean to frighten you.” The man smiles widely, his cheekbones bouncing upwards and you feel at ease with his smile. “Hoseok.” He says pointing at himself. You stutter for a moment still backing up until you slam into the first row pew, the back of your knees growing weak planting you onto the pew. “Your name?” He asks avoiding the large throne and sitting on the marble step of the altar. “Y/N.” You call out meekly. He hums in agreement. “Welcome.” He says gesturing to the cathedral. You look around, “Are you the care taker of this place?” Hoseok snorts before shaking his head. “No, I live here.” He says seriously rubbing his hands together. “W- You live here? Where?” You ask looking around for a bed. “Downstairs.” You nod before standing up. “I should go.” You say pointing to the cathedral entrance. “You could, or you could come hang out with us.” “Us?” You ask standing up, Hoseok points to the seven thrones. “There are seven of us.” Your mind reels as you look around, they are demons. This is one of them. They’re real. And yet, how could a demon look so angelic. “Are you demons?” You whisper tilting your head. Hoseok laughs, a hearty laugh making his eyes small and his smile wide. “Absolutely not, demons could never surmount to us.” You fur your eyebrows in confusion at his words. “Come on, it’ll be fun. Don’t worry, you’ll be safe with us. I promise.” Hoseok announces before slapping his knees and standing. He makes a come hither motion as he walks between the thrones. “Come on, Y/N. No need to be afraid of a place of your own.” Hoseok says disappearing into a dark doorway. “Hoseok! Wait! What do you mean?” You ask following after him. A place of your own? Sure, you feel comfortable here but why was he being so cryptic.

You step past the dark doorway, a long winding staircase calls out for you as lit candles stud the railing, the hot dripping wax curls around the banisters, the wax was thick on the railing like it had been here for years. You swallow thickly peaking down the staircase. You were nervous but unafraid, you felt calm in fact. As if, your mind understood you were safe. You gingerly step down the staircase, mental cursing yourself for not having shoes on.

The staircase seemed to have no end as you descend, you couldn’t help but feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. Finally you begin to see light as you begin to see the landing. The light was bright, making you squint your eyes, the cobblestone of the stairs getting seemingly larger as you reach the bottom step. A long hallway greets you, the hall lined with portraits of what seemed to be figures of royalty. Male figures dot the walls, even a portrait that looked exactly like Hoseok. “Wow!” You whisper taking a step back to admire them all. The biggest portrait of all was a man and woman, a baby at her breast. The woman in the portrait smiles at the man next to her. He had a cold stature to him, his eyes small but black as night. His cheekbones high and full as he stares down. His jaw was surely cut from stone. He had on a hanbok, the hat standing tall, his arms crossed in a dominating way. “Jeez, these must be expensive.” You say starting to continue your walk down the hallway. This man in the painting was in most of them, always with a different woman and a different baby in the woman’s arms. They all looked at him the same though, although all their faces were different, their expressions were exactly the same. “Creepy.” You whisper to yourself, “Cool, right?” You gasp putting your hand on your hip and leaning over. “Hoseok, stop doing that!” You cry out putting your shaking hand over your mouth. He chuckles before putting a hand on your shoulder. “Sorry, I forget you get scared at anything and everything.” He laughs before walking past the hallway. You curse quietly before following him. You enter a large transept kept in peak condition just like upstairs. Seven black chaise lounges greet you with five of them being taken up by gorgeously sprawled out men. “Well, look who it is.” One of them cheers, you look up at them embarrassed. Suddenly feeling small in their presence. “Namjoon, Seokjin, Jungkook, Jimin, Taehyung.” Hoseok says leaning against the wall, “Nice to meet you.” You say lifting an awkward hand, they nod before smiling. “Nice socks.” Jungkook calls out and you look down wiggling your toes. How EMBARRASSING! You mentally smack yourself. “Thanks.” You mutter. “Sit.” Hoseok says pointing to the free chaise lounge at the head of the group. You clear your throat before dragging yourself over to the seat. How must you look in front of all these handsome men, you with jeans, a hoodie and fucking donut socks. They all sniff the air and sigh loudly their eye snapping towards you. Odd. Jimin brings a glass of something dark red and thick to his mouth. “I thought you said seven.” You ask as Hoseok throws his body onto a lounge chair, he groans happily before looking over at you. “He’ll be here soon enough.” He grabs a glass from the floor. “Wanna drink?” His head cranes looking at the neon lit bar at the back wall of the sept. “Sure.” You say with a shrugging, you hope it’s some sort of alcohol. Maybe then you’d stop acting like someone ran over your dog. Hoseok stretches up and fixes you a drink, he grabs a glass jug of the same drink Jimin had. It was red and viscous. “That looks like blood.” You joke and Jimin snorts. He lifts his glass, “Cheers then.” You give him a small, playful smile as Hoseok pours a dark liquor into your cup. “Give this to her.” He says to Taehyung. Taehyung gets up and hands you your drink, his head bowing as he does so. You bow back and put the cup to your lips. “That drink was made for you. As opposed to other times when you’ve drank from other persons drinks.” Hoseok calls out laying back down. You have absolutely no idea what he’s talking about. “Uh-huh?” You say before taking a sip of the drink. It was delicious! There was a faint metallic taste but it was beaten by this specific taste. Something you couldn’t put your finger on, it made the room look brighter and your soul felt euphoric. You smile widely as you drink more. Namjoon smiles at you with a chuckle, “Welcome back to us little one, you’ve been missed.” So many things they say were going over your head but it felt comforting to hear his words. As if he was an old friend from the past. “Should we wait for Yoongi?” Seokjin asks, the rest nod. “Wouldn’t be right if Byul couldn’t see her man first before anything.” Your feet dangle off the chaise lounge swinging happily. “You make a really good drink, Hoseok.” He gives you a sweet smile. “That’s because it was made just for you.” He stands up stretching his long limbs. Someone clears their throat behind you, you turn to see a gorgeous man, the man in the paintings and you gasp standing up. “You’re- You’re the guy in the paintings! Wow.” You whisper, your hand caressing his face, “Bold.” Seokjin whispers to Namjoon. The man in front of you smirks, “Hello, my little bird.” He sits down on the chaise lounge before patting the spot next to him. It was so strange, you felt like yourself but a truer version. Someone happy, someone who didn’t feel awkward or afraid. You didn’t feel alone, that was big. You sit next to the handsome man as he leans against the chaise lounge arm. “Little bird.” The man calls to you. You look over at him, the nickname making you feel giddy. “Hmm?” You ask taking another sip of your drink. “Would you care to remember, remember everything you cannot seem to?” He asks pushing some of your hair off your shoulder. Was he talking about the past week of missing memories? How could he know? “Yes.” You say truthfully. He smiles widely, his smile gummy and it makes your heart ache. “As you wish, my love.” His face begins to pale even farther than the milky white it already was. Black veins creep up from his cheekbones to his eyes as his pupil shift to red. He grabs your wrist as you gasp. You weren’t afraid at all, which was strange considering the complete 360 change. He brings your wrist closer to his face, his nose inhaling sharply before his lips curl back. Large, sharp fangs protrude as he opens his mouth. “My little bird.” He whispers lovingly before biting your wrist.

#bts vampire #vampire!yoongi #bts vampire!au #min yoongi #suga #vampire #hoseok #seokjin #jimin #chim chim #jungkook #taehyung #kim #v #namjoon #rm #bts story #bts series

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startingtodayyouareahost · 4 years

Text

Ouran Pairing One-shot Prompt List.

“So, i guess you guys want something to go off for asks. but this one shall be very different! how you ask? well there will be sections! we will have a the paring list like normal but there will be a bonus section. you can also pick an alternate universe if you wish you dont have to but its there! along with a several sentence stater sections! example: “i would like Haruhi x kyoya for the steampunk au with number 10 from the fluff list” THIS IS A LONG ASS LIST SO UNDER THE CUT!

Pairings

Haruhi x Host

Tamaki x Host

Kyoya x Host

Hikaru x Host (minus Kaoru)

Kaoru x Host (minus Hikaru)

Mitsukuni x Host (minus Takashi)

Takashi x Host (minus Mitsukuni)

Au List (optional)

Ouran academy (the original)

Pirate au

Fantasy au

Zombie au

Monster Hunter au

Royalty Au

Monster au

Omegaverse au

Space au

Future au

Wings au (they have wings)

Dragon Trainer au

Wizard au

Mermaid au

D&D Au

Dance school au

Superpower au

Elemental au

Animal Shape Shiftier au

Dragon age (the game) au

Fluff list

“I love you, you know.”

“is there a reason your blushing like that?”

“well, good morning to you to!”

“please just kiss me already!

“I think. . . I think i’m in love with you.”

“You just took my breath away.”

“Are you flirting with me?” “You just now noticed!?”

“Welcome back!”

“Sharing is caring. now give me your coat!”

“Cuddle me i’m cold!”

“The view up here is amazing!”

“Hey. i want to show you something.”

“I made this just for you.”

“I don’t care about that anymore, i want you.”

“Rise and shine sleepy head. . . no really get up its noon.”

“You made me breakfast!”

“Are we a white picket fence couple?”

“Marry me?”

“Their all staring at you. everyone here want you.” “Well, perhaps their staring at you?”

“Hey, forgot out there. in here it’s just you and me.”

“Your cat/dog wants to kill me i think.”

“I say. . . your a solid 7″ “excuse you!? i’m a 9 at least!”

“You work yourself so hard. so i thought you would like to relax.”

“I’m going to cover your face with kisses!”

“hey, do you want. . . kids at all?”

“ I bet you 20 bucks i can make you blush!”

“I have a confession to make.” “Oh?” “I love you!” “I-i know. . . we’re married.”

“I can’t find you under all those blankets.”

“We can sneak a beer and just stay here. we deserve a nice day.”

“I vote we stay in bed.” “Agreed.”

Angst list

“I polished this anger, now its a knife.”

“Get up!”

“You’re bleeding. your bleeding a lot!”

“If you let go we’re both dead!”

“Don’t close your eyes!”

“I’m no cold anymore.”

“Shh!”

“I’m. . . not feeling so good.”

“we cant win! not against that!”

“I-I think my ribs are crushed!”

“Over my dead body!”

“You were warned. . . and yet you still did it.”

“This is it. we’re going to die.”

“I you don’t leave me here we’ll both die! so go!” “No! i’m not leaving you!” “Damn it go now!”

“You can’t leave me down here! i’ll starve!”

“I saw you give up! you were going to let yourself die and i won’t forgive you for that!”

“That’s. . .that’s smoke. no, that’s fire!”

“Run damn it! run!”

“We have to end it. their going to die here just. . .please put them out of their misery.”

“I just needed to keep you talking long enough for them to escape. i’m glad you’re someone who runs their mouth.”

“Why aren't we running!?” “you know we won’t make it.”

“w-why did you stop?”

“Your hurting me!”

“You’re lying to me.”

“I guess this is a lesson in why we don’t trust people.”

“Can you stop thinking of yourself for once!”

“Don’t you dare lay a hand on him/her.”

“I’m sorry. they gave me no choice.”

“Wow, you were so easy to fool it was almost sad.”

“And with that, everything ends.”

Smut list

“Your hands feel so warm”

“be gentle with me. . .”

“Ow! you’re going to break me!”

“ Touch me. I don’t care how!”

“Hey! Don’t touch there! Thats sensitive!”

“I won’s stop till i hear you scream.”

“Take a deep breath and relax, you need to relax or it will hurt more.”

“Never thought i would have you under me but here we are.”

“Good boy/girl. rock your hips, just like that.”

“No way that will fit!”

“Say my name!”

“You’re leaking out of me. . .”

“So if i curve my fingers like so. . “

“Wait you just came! you’re going again?!”

“Here? Now!?”

“Hands against the wall.”

“I like this view of you. it’s a nice angle.”

“I’d hold onto something if i was you.”

“I’m stuck. Wait! what are you doing! ah! don’t touch me there!”

“Less talk more fucking, thanks.”

“Forget the bed. i’m fucking you right here.”

“Look how flexible you are.”

“Thankfully we are already in the shower/bath.”

“You’re covering me in marks!”

“I’m not letting you dominate me. now untie me!”

“Why. . .is there a mirror and a camera.”

“I see why you put me on a towel.”

“You want to try what?”

“look at you. a whimpering mess.”

“Bite on this since you can’t keep quite.”

Bonus

If you want something thats not on the list send it in!

#ouran highschool host club #ouran high school host club #ohshc

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soullessfeline-blog · 5 years

Text

Princess Charming and Kaynderella // AU

Pairing: Zoe/Kayn (Zoyn)

Rated: PG13 (Following content contains profanity)

Source of Characters: League of Legends

Alternative Link: ao3

|Note: His name is just “Kayn” not Kaynderella in case you’re confused, it’s just the title.|

The party’s opening ceremony ended just when the sun is entirely set, now it’s time for the real party to begin.

The princess yawned in boredom, “finally! The introduction, and speech are all done. That was hella boring, no one even caught my eye. I guess I’ll observe for now.” Zoe said and relaxed her back. She might just jump around and trample all over everybody’s business but it’s too crowded for her to do so. Almost half of the night, all she did was sit down on her throne, while guests will invite her for a dance.

On the other hand, no one noticed that a scheming thief has entered the palace. He is dressed in a formal suit after all, makes him a non-suspicous looking guy in that attire. He blends in the crowd perfectly, he looks like someone who comes from one of the royalties. Splendid hair, charming—yet not-so-charming to the point everyone will eye on him—you can just say he’s not that perfect looking although he doesn’t look like a bad guy at all. Though he wasn’t even invited! His name wasn’t on the guest’s list, he couldn’t also enter without being called out from the lists, now how did he even enter the palace? Such a strategic guy.

The thief acts like he’s nobody’s business, trying to be lowkey as he keeps peeping on a certain someone. Nonchalantly observing, without anyone noticing his doings; except for the princess who is also observing no one but the crowd.

The princess will gladly dance from time to time— if not she’ll just look at the crowd, though this time she politely declined. Because someone caught her eye in the mere flock of people, and she’d rather watch him subtly for a moment. She waited no more, deciding to make an approach.

“Hello there! Name is Zoe, a.k.a. Princess Charming,” The princess sneaked behind and poked the guy’s shoulder as he flinched and looked at the girl’s way, then looking back at the princess’ throne.

“Wait... what? You were just...” His voice turned the volume down on its own, “sitting there.”

“Yes, I know. I was like a ninja huh? Just like you.” She said and winked.

“How much do you know?” He said and stepped back, he had his guard down but putting it back up.

“How much you asked? As much that you want to steal something?” She answered with a bit of a tone that puts it into a question, fixing her crown on her head. Which is what the thief was eyeing on for a while now. “But not that much I guess, I don’t even know your name! Do you mind if you tell me?”

“Yes, I mind. You’re gonne tell on me and get me locked up, I’m not that dumb.”

“I guess you are that dumb...” she laughed, “because I won’t tell anyone about you sneaking in here and trying to steal something. I was paying attention to everyone who gets their name called. I didn’t see you walk down the aisle.”

“How can I be sure that you won’t tell anyone? You are funny, thinking you are that smart. I shall flee-”

“And name your mission as failed? Your dad will be so disappointed at you.” Zoe sighed as a sign of mockery.

The thief took a deep breath to keep himself composed and speaks, “why do you care?”

“Aren’t you even honored to be talking to the princess herself? Try to be... I don’t know? Polite, even a little bit? Oh well, but I have an offer for you! How about we play a little game?” She started walking backwards, “I’ll let you get what you want—and I won’t tell anyone that’s a promise—but you have to chase and get it from me.”

Ah, she started running.

Though no one even noticed, no one even cared.

The thief sighed, “how did she even know about my father? Just how much did she know? How did she figure out that I was after that? Was I that obvious? Can I even take her promise seriously? Why should I play her stupid game?” He rained himself with questions, knowing that they won’t be answered by themselves. “It’s a do or die I guess, rather than my father being disappointed at me.”

He started sprinting through the terrace, as he jumped off landing on the lower ground hall, “perfect.” He commented and smirked, his pace began to get faster, from a sprint to a run, he noticed that the hall is empty and no one would see him. Therefore, he started running after the uncanny princess, who he just saw walking aimlessly in that specific hall. “Now let’s get this over with, and get that damn thing off her.”

“Not so fast cutie!” She said and dodged as she looked back at him. “I never thought you would really take that offer, I’m surprised!”

“Urgh!” He wasn’t that enraged, but that surprised him, she was able to dodge him.

“You’re as fleet-footed as your father, I see. I better level up my game then.” Zoe giggled, running away from him as she entered rooms.

“Cutie? Was that a fucking compliment? Ew.” He shook his head in disgust, going back to his target; chasing after her. “This damn palace sure is huge, a lot of doors like a goddamn puzzle.”

“Having a trouble finding me?” Zoe giggled teasingly as she showed up behind from one of the doors.

“You little-”

“Ehem,” she fake coughed, “manners pretty boy.”

“Pretty boy? Are you insulting me?! I’m not up to your annoying little game.”

“Then why are you still chasing me?” They started running again.

“Just give me the goddamn thing if you are aware of what it is.” He hissed.

“Aw, there’s no fun in that if I just give you what you want in an instant! Are you out of your mind?” Zoe asked without even turning her face back to look at the thief who is still chasing after her.

“Are you?” He returned the question.

“No, just bored! The party is lame, eugh!”

“Aren’t you the princess? Why don’t you do something to make it less boring?” He asked as he jumped through the fence following the princess, leading them outside to the garden.

“Because it will be improper of me, duh?” She rolled her eyes even though he won’t be able to see it.

“What kind of fun are you even thinking of?”

“Well... this maybe? I don’t know but anything with competitions, challenges and... explosion!” Zoe laughed menacingly, “it’s a joke... the explosion part.”

“How about I make your head explode instead? And see if it’s anything fun? Because this? This thing, chasing you or whatever is nowhere near fun.”

“For you, it might not be fun. This is fun for me though!-- Heh, as expected of you, make my head explode huh?” She laughed it off, no trace of fear in her voice.

“That doesn’t scare you? And as expected of me? What do you even know about me?”

She stopped from running and finally looked at his way, saying “That—doesn’t concern you,” with her tongue out and eyes winked.

“Finally, gonna be in my grasp-” His speech was cut off as the princess just smiled at him. “Wait... is this some trap or some sort?”

“What? Of course not! I made a promise, didn’t I?”

“Then why did you stop from running? Oh, perhaps you’re finally at your limit and giving up now.” He guessed.

“Wrong!” She grinned innocently, “I just wanted to see how you look up close once more.”

“W-wha--” Heat rising up at the thief’s face as he stood still in front of her, body froze from the sudden turn of events, “n-no, you’re trying to remember my face so you can get me caught the next day— that’s right!”

“What crazy assumptions are you getting in your head? Your third hunch might be more accurate, plus you even blushed!” She teased, reading from his facial expressions, she thought that the flustered thief was thinking more and still has a third guess.

“S-shut up!”

“Your third hunch was... you think, that I was thinking your face is fairly attractive, right?”

“What? No?... No.”

“Well you’re right about that, that’s my reason.” The princess chuckled not minding his dishonest answer, as she examined his face once more, but now closely.

“Hah?! I just said no!” He said in denial, moving his face away from hers.

“That scar on your face, around your eyes... it actually looks good on you, as if it is something meaningful.” She grabbed his hand, “and your hand... it has some sort of burn, though your hand gives me some kind of... comfort—was it?”

The thief pulled his hand away, “w-what are you blabbering about? You’re insane!”

“And you’re funny, I’m just admiring you, you know? You should be honored. Cool braid by the way, braid me sometimes, 'kay?” She went off running again, going back inside the palace.

“Dammit! She was already in front of me, why didn’t I just grab it?” He talked to himself as he covered his cheeks with his palms, feeling the warmth of his face. He isn’t tired yet but he feels some kind-of fatigue, overwhelmed and all. So instead of running, he just walked slowly as a little rest. “She’s a little fast too, I can’t even pull her longass hair.”

He quietly peeked in each room to see where she’s hiding, but someone poked at his back again, making him flinched. “Hey!” He looked back, finally he found the princess, rather the princess found him.

“You got tired huh?” She asked.

“No, I still have full energy but... this is just lame. And even if my time is also up, I couldn’t care anymore less.”

“You must be faking...”

“Faking or not, there’s no much time and I have to be back before midnight.” He sighed, “I’ll be fleeing, see you never, princess.”

The thief started to walk out, but she called him, “wait! Was it really boring for you?”

“Not really, I guess you can just say I got tired of your shit.” He said without looking back.

“Please stop walking for a second!” And so he did, still not looking back, instead she walked around his fit body to face him.

“What now?” He said looking down at the princess, with dead eyes.

“Yeesh, lighten up will you?” Zoe grabbed his hand as she placed something on it, not allowing him to see, hence she closed his hand on her own. “Also, don’t ever say never.” She winked at him again, finally walking away but before she does, she gave his back a slight tap.

He glanced back to her direction, noticing that her crown isn’t on her head, but it’s hanging on her pocket without the gem in it. Thus, he opened his hand, only to see the missing gem that was on her crown, now laying on his own hand. His lips formed a little smile on its own accord. “So she did know I needed the gem and not just the crown huh? What a keen lady.”

He decided to walk back home, as he put the gem securely in his pocket. But he felt a piece of paper in his mere pocket, “what’s this? I don’t remember putting something in here.” He pulled out the paper, and uncrampled it.

Hi Kayn! Just a little letter from the dear princess! That gem you have in your hand is nothing but a replica, hehe. It completely doesn’t have any value. Sorry for tricking you but maybe you want to attend my next upcoming party and give you a little something? Something real this time of course! As a reward for keeping everything fun for me. Please don’t be mad at me! You’re absolutely invited to every party that I will be hosting in the future. You’re damn attractive by the way.

Sincerely yours,

Princess Charming, Zoe ♥

Kayn opened his hand once again, looking at the gem. “No value huh? You gave this to me— the princess did; ergo, replica or not, there’s a value- wait, what the fuck am I saying?” He shook the thought off his head, he decided to keep the gem though, putting it and the letter back to his pocket. “Might as well attend...”

“But wow, she was able to slip the letter in my pocket like thin air, that girl really doesn’t stop from surprising me... dammit here I am again talking to myself like crazy.” Kayn scratched his head trying to knock off those silly thoughts. “That trickster... how am I still not mad from getting tricked? Was it because she called me attractive? No, that doesn’t make sense, why did I even think of that as a possibility? Ugh!”

“Who called you what?” That deep voice made Kayn jump and throw all of the thoughts away. Not even aware that he’s already near his place.

“Z- Zed... father, haha! I- uh,” Kayn panicked.

“Hold that thought, I told you it’s not necessary to call me father, considering I am not even your real father. Anyway, did you get the gem?”

Kayn took a long pause, hesitant on answering. “No... I’m sorry.”

“Eh, whatever, you tried.” Zed let it pass, he didn’t show any sign of disappointed.

“Why?”

“I found an alternative way to seal the book while you were away, so it’s fine, I can just do that instead. Just go back inside and go to bed.” Zed ordered, “it’s already late.”

“Then why did I have to get it before midnight? Weren’t you in a hurry?”

“Eh? No, I am not in a hurry, boy. I just didn’t want you to stay up any more late. Now hurry up and go to bed.” Zed calmly answered, Kayn did as he says.

"Going back to that letter, it says Hi Kayn— weird, how did she know my name? Does she know all along?... She really was trying to fool me huh,” Kayn went back into talking to himself as soon as he entered his room. “Nevertheless,” he continued as he placed the letter and the semi-precious stone in his so-called treasure box, “she may have tricked me, but I’m not gonna lie, I did have fun for a moment.” He hid the box where no one else could’ve guessed.

“Heh. It was such a pleasure, Zoe.” That was Kayn’s last words as he entirely drifted off to sleep.

#kayn #zoe #zoe x kayn #kayn x zoe #zoyn #league of legends #my writing #soullessfeline #fluff #alternate universe #profanity #fan fiction #shieda kayn

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bad-draft-stuff · 3 years

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c. AU 9

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Arsé-kun: -Thursday, November 4th- Sheepy: *Aru is hugging Caliburn. She's worrying about Kay...* Arsé-kun: *Merlin is on the floor beside her, trying to cast magic over a mirror. He's had no success.* Sheepy: Aru: What if he never comes back...? I'll be all alone...! *whimper* What if he... Arsé-kun: Merlin: H-hey, don't be like that! He's probably just on an adventure! He's got no phone to tell us..! Arsé-kun: *Merlin isn't entirely convincing himself, either..* Sheepy: Aru: Kay wouldn't be gone for this long! Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's done it before. He's gone out drinking and come back the next afternoon before! Just... Not when we lived here. Sheepy: Aru: ...?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: He hasn't done that for a while. Hey, he hasn't been going out drinking either! Sheepy: Aru: W-what if he fell and hit his head...? What if he got robbed? What if... Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's with Grif, Bedi said. Grif wouldn't let that happen! Sheepy: Aru: But Grif isn't back either! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I don't think they're... *he picks up his phone and sends a message. Asking the family for advice* Sheepy: Aru: Maybe that yellow-cloaked man who threatened Grif hurt Kay too...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm asking, but no one will tell who that could be. And if scrying has no results... Maybe I'm doing it wrong. Sheepy: Aru:....! Maybe Teacher knows! Arsé-kun: Merlin: He knows! He won't tell me! Sheepy: Aru: ....! *whimper, sob* He must be...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Off on an adventure, obviously! Grif's dad hasn't shown up to say that anything's happened to them! Arsé-kun: Merlin: And Primo hasn't said anything to you, so it's probably fine?? Sheepy: Aru: Why would Teacher be watching them? Teacher is on vacation. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That hasn't stopped him from adding his opinions on discord! Sheepy: Aru: That's different. Arsé-kun: Merlin: The general consensus is! A, they're off path. B, I'm doing it wrong. C, something is shielding them. And D, which I'm not suggesting. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm gonna go ask Misyr at this rate! Sheepy: Aru: Off path...? Sheepy: Aru: Kay told me not to go off path! Sheepy: Aru: He hasn't been trained in combat, has he? So it's less safe for him to go off path than it is for me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: He only did it once before, with Grif. I'm saying its a possibility, but it's not something he might do. Sheepy: Aru: Kay... maybe... Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... The hell am I saying, yeah he would. He thought he was hot shit after the first time. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But he was already doing dumb shit with Grif before you told him that. Sheepy: Aru: Ugh...! Doesn't he realize that he only has one life?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yolo. Sheepy: Aru: I don't know what that means, but... I thought Kay was really cool...! But now I realize he's just plain reckless! Sheepy: Aru: He might've gotten hurt out there... All because he wanted attention... Sheepy: Aru: I haven't been giving him enough attention, have I...? But the truth is, without him here, I'd feel so much more homesick... Have I not been expressing my appreciation for him enough? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maybe? It can't hurt to try, but... Sheepy: Aru:....Maybe... Sheepy: Aru: Thank you for listening, Merlin! Okay, I'll thank him a whole bunch when he comes back! Arsé-kun: *Merlin has been thanked for something! Master has given Dobby a sock! bad joke but same elation* Sheepy: Aru: Let's include him in the lessons next time! We haven't done them for a bit. I've missed them! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I agree, actually. He's got potential. He blew up a mug! Sheepy: Aru: Yeah! If he works hard enough, he can blow up two mugs! *...Somehow, this is completely sincere enthusiasm and not sarcasm.* Sheepy: Aru: Let's work hard to find him! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maybe even three! Arsé-kun: Merlin: [text: to Bedi] Any leads, chief of dealing with kays bullshit? Arsé-kun: Merlin: [text: to Bedi] All we worked out on our side is that I suck at scrying lmao Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Merlin] Kay ia on campus according to Holmes. Arsé-kun: Merlin: [text: to Bedi] That helps a lot!! Thanks babe Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Merlin] No problem. I'll keep looking. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Bedi asked Holmes. Kay's on campus. Sheepy: Aru:...! Sheepy: Aru: Okay, so we just need to look on campus! Sheepy: Aru: Where is a good start...? Sheepy: Aru:...If only we had a general idea whee on campus! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Coffee shoppe? I could ask Misyr for tips and we can see if anyone's seen him or Grif? Sheepy: Aru: Okay! Let's try that! Arsé-kun: *Merlin and Aru go to the coffee shoppe!* Sheepy: Misyr: *He's drinking coffee like always. He's reading The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes! A secret Holmes fan? Maybe.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Grampa, how do I scry people like a not idiot?? Sheepy: Misyr: *he looks up* Oh! Merlin! ... Practice? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well... What if we don't have time for that? Sheepy: Misyr: Eh? No, not him. Sheepy: Misyr: Il Fado de Rie. Sheepy: Misyr: Although... I may or may not cheat a bit to find people myself. Sheepy: Misyr: Ahahaha! This cheating Demon King can do aaaanything~! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, Bedi's bro and the campus security are both missing, so can you cheat? Sheepy: Misyr: Eh? Arsé-kun: *Merlin's expecting things from you, Misyr!* Sheepy: Misyr:.... Sheepy: Misyr: Cheating Detective Demon Lord Misyr (don't forget incredibly handsome and very smart) is on the case! Ahahahaha! Sheepy: Misyr: *He gets up and exits the coffee shop!* Arsé-kun: *Merlin quickly follows him!* Sheepy: Misyr: *He focuses and attempts tracking Kay!* Arsé-kun: *... He's got a lock on something!* Sheepy: Misyr: I found him! (a potential lie) Sheepy: Misyr: I'll guide you there, because I'm so nice! Ahahaha! Sheepy: Aru: Aren't demon lord final bosses supposed to be evil? Sheepy: Misyr:...... Sheepy: Misyr:...I'm really evil, you know! Sheepy: Aru: Okay. Sheepy: Misyr: I kill heroes for fun! Sheepy: Aru: Okay. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You make really good coffee. Sheepy: Misyr: Yes,of course! Demon lords need hobbies outside of restriction! Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Eh? Sheepy: Misyr: Eh? What? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, never mind! I thought you said something weird! Sheepy: Misyr: I said destruction! Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's why I said never mind! Sheepy: Misyr: Oh, makes sense! Sheepy: Aru: Wow. Teacher can even restrict a demon king from doing what he wants... Sheepy: Aru: I want to be like Teacher! Arsé-kun: Merlin: But then you'll be an old coot that gives you no help! Sheepy: Aru: Huh? Sheepy: Aru: I want to be like Teacher except actually help people! Sheepy: Aru: I'm sure Teacher could be amazing if he put his skills to use! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm sure he can prove he isn't as awful as Malleus! Sheepy: Aru: But why would he want to? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Why not? It's a low bar! Sheepy: Aru: Because then people would expect things of him. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Merlin has never done anything that was expected of him in his life. He does what he wants with priority. Sheepy: Aru: But thanks to Teacher making messes wherever he goes, you and I were both born! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I do not think that is a compliment. Sheepy: Aru: Actually, I guess without Teacher, none of us would be here. Sheepy: Aru: It's not? Teacher works in mysterious ways, but at the end of the day, he's done a lot of good without people asking him to, right? Arsé-kun: Arthur: As well as agreeing to have someone conceived b- Arsé-kun: Merlin: SO GRAMPA WE THERE YET Sheepy: Misyr: We're close! Sheepy: Aru: ?... I don't really get it, but... Without Teacher, I wouldn't really have a parental figure! Teacher's always been there for me, even if he has been difficult throughout most of it. Sheepy: Aru:....... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I envy you. Sheepy: Aru: You've really had it tough. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Haven't we all. Sheepy: Aru:....? Sheepy: Aru: No, not really! Sheepy: Aru: I've had my fate decided for me the moment I was born! I haven't had to worry what to focus my energy on or what I should do with my future, because I know I have no choice in the matter! *She... sounds oddly cheerful about this?* Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's.... Terrifying, actually. I think I'd be dead if I had that situation. Sheepy: Aru: Huh? But isn't part of what makes life difficult not knowing what the future will bring? You claw at hope and try to change it to suit your desires, but after numerous failures and life betraying you, you feel anxious that you'll be wronged by life again, no matter how hard you work to make your future a bright one. Isn't that scarier? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Jesus. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Things happen. Ain't it better getting over somethin' than just getting everything real easy? Sheepy: Aru: Hmm... Well... Arsé-kun: Merlin: If I went with what was "decided" for me, I'd be living in my parent's basement, uneducated, thinking that believing in science makes you a heretic. Nooooooooooo thank you!!! Sheepy: Aru: That sounds scary... I wouldn't want to be in that situation. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And I said "I ain't doin' that!" I'm in so much trouble with the parents, but I want this! And I also wanna order a pizza... Arsé-kun: Merlin: But that's for after we find Grif and Kay! Sheepy: Aru: Really? You can just say no? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Always can! Don't want something? Don't wanna go through with something! It needs your consent to happen! Sheepy: Aru: It's not that I necessarily mind my life as it is, but... Arsé-kun: Merlin: As your substitute teacher, I gotta say! If anything's been proven, it's that some things will happen, but not all of 'em! Sheepy: Aru: I feel like I have to fulfill its purpose if the time comes, and if I'm not ready, I'll be consumed by it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: For what?? We're not British! A king isn't chosen by some lake woman's old tableknives! Sheepy: Aru: Well, you're not. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Were you born in Britain?? Sheepy: Aru: I wouldn't know the answer to that.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Then ask the old man! Sheepy: Aru: I've lived there almost my whole life, though. Sheepy: Aru: That basically means I am, right? Sheepy: Aru: Anyway, being king isn't really about being royalty! The sword's purpose isn't for that. Sheepy: Aru: It's for leadership! Arsé-kun: Arthur: ....... What. Sheepy: Aru: That's what Myrrdin says, anyway! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Grampa, you got anythin' to add before I slam this into the trash? Sheepy: Misyr: I don't have any interest in kings who aren't me! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Aru, do what you want. If you're lucky, what you want is the path you need to prepare for anyway. Sheepy: Aru: ....?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Okay, that's enough serious talk from me! Bedi might think I'm taking philosophy or some stinko if I keep speaking like this! Sheepy: Aru:...I don't really know what I want. I just want to do a good job. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Then do a good job! Who's gonna stop you??? Saaaaaaaaaaaaaatan? Sheepy: Aru: Umm... isn't it really, really hard to lead people? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Aru, you talk to offpath monsters like they're your neighbors. I don't think you're gonna have any trouble, boss. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ..... Why'd we stop? Sheepy: Aru: Good kings are ones that place their people before themselves. Their purpose is to serve their people as a leader. But they lose themselves in the process. Scary... Sheepy: Misyr: Well, because we're here! Behold! The great cheating Demon King's tracking capabilities! Ahaahahaha! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Here?! This is like... The campus' power supply? Sheepy: Misyr: Yeah, he's here! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hope we don't run into the janitor... Sheepy: Misyr:? Sheepy: Misyr: Janitor? Sheepy: Misyr: ... Oh, I've seen him before! He avoids and glares at me! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Also hope we don't get in trouble for trespassing! Oh well! Sheepy: Misyr: If you do, I can just nuke it and then there'll be nothing to trespass on. Problem solved! Arsé-kun: Merlin: NO! Sheepy: Misyr: What? Arsé-kun: Merlin: What part of campus power supply didn't you hear?? Sheepy: Misyr: So don't break the power supply! Sheepy: Misyr:......*mumbling* What does that even mean? Arsé-kun: *Merlin gets a message. It's the Merlins chat, and Memrys sent a meme that just says "MISYR ATE A HORSE MADE OF 5GS" with a picture of a semi-translucent horse. Angra liked this post. Merlin liked this post.* Sheepy: Misyr: We can go in whenever! Sheepy: Misyr: By giving you permission, I've cheated and made it not trespassing! Ahahahaha! Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Good enough for me! Sheepy: Misyr: *He heads in!* Sheepy: Aru: Kayyy...! Where are you...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Kaayyyy! Griiiif! Where are you guys??? Sheepy: Aru: Kay! If you don't come home, you won't get any of the pizza Merlin is buying! Arsé-kun: Merlin: And Grif won't get the box! Sheepy: Aru:...Grif eats the box? Arsé-kun: Merlin: He sure goddamn tried to! Sheepy: Aru:....... Sheepy: Aru: Maybe we don't need to bring Grif back. Just Kay. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What kind of leader would reject a man for being dumb? Sheepy: Aru: It was a joke, a joke! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm teasin' you! Sheepy: Aru: Anyway, many would, but not good ones. Arsé-kun: ?: ... What is all of this. Absolute racket out here? Why are students here at all? Arsé-kun: *Helllooooo, Orpheus! Moving around yourself, I see! Plugged into something you are!* Sheepy: Misyr: Aaahahahahahaha! I gave them permission! After all...! Sheepy: Misyr: I am the cheating Demon Lord, Misyr Rex! I will cheat and do anything I want! Sheepy: Misyr: So this power supply is mine now! *mumbling*...but really, what is a power supply? Arsé-kun: Orph: .... I don't care. I'm more concerned about the students... And this is clearly a child. Sheepy: Misyr: I can decide who can visit! And I've decide- Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hi, teacher! Sheepy: Aru: My brother is lost here! Have you seen him? He's tall, has red hair, an eye patch, and he's mean to everyone but his friends! Arsé-kun: Orph: .. Kay? ... Yes, I have. Sheepy: Aru: Is he still here? I'm worried about him! Arsé-kun: Orph: If he left, he would have needed to pass me. So he has not left. Sheepy: Aru: Can I go see him? Arsé-kun: Orph: Certainly. Merlin is questionable because the homework may not count, but I am bitter regardless. Arsé-kun: Merlin: EH?! Arsé-kun: Orph: ... I am kidding. Please follow me. Do not step on anything. Sheepy: Aru: Thank you, Mr. Robot! Arsé-kun: Orph: Quite welcome. If anyone asks, I did not leave my position and my legs are for show. Sheepy: Aru: Okay, your secret is safe with me! Sheepy: *Aru follows Orpheus!* Arsé-kun: *Merlin, of course, also does* Sheepy: Aru: I hope he's okay... Sheepy: Misyr: Well, he's definitely Kay! Arsé-kun: Orph: I absolutely will not tolerate you and my husband speaking if this is what you are like. Sheepy: Misyr: Ahahahaha! You can't stop me from doing anything! I can cheat and do anything! By the way, why are you wearing armor? Arsé-kun: Orph: ... I wish this were armor. Sheepy: Misyr: ????... Arsé-kun: *Orph leads them to a small side room! Looks like this would be a technician's break room or something..! Except there are no technicians, just two sad bois* Sheepy: Aru: Kay!! *She rushes over to him! Hello! Are you ready for a hug? No? Too bad!* Arsé-kun: *Kay lifts his head up slightly to look at her, and takes a moment to focus on Aru. He looks depressed.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Oh. Hey. Sheepy: Aru:....? Kay...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, this is failure incorporated, how can I take your call? Arsé-kun: *That was the most upbeat he could make himself sound. And yet, he still didn't.* Sheepy: Aru: Wow, Kay! You have a job now? Maybe we don't need to get pizza for you after all! Arsé-kun: *.....Kay isn't amused* Sheepy: Aru:....?.... Sheepy: Aru: Kay, I was really worried about you! Sheepy: Aru: I kept thinking you might not come back, and I... Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... ...... *he (finally) takes one of his arms off Grif and puts it around Aru. He's got you, fam* Sheepy: Aru:.....*whimper* a-and I... *sob* I-I felt really, really lonely and scared..! Arsé-kun: Kay: ... *his expression softens* .... Sorry. I didn't think this would happen. Sheepy: Aru: You don't need to apologize! I-I...! I should be making you feel more appreciated! Arsé-kun: Kay: Fer what..? Doing dumb shit, or stupid shit? Sheepy: Aru: N-no! You make me feel really welcome, and much less homesick! So...! Thank you! Arsé-kun: Kay: .... No, thank you. I won't be explaining. Sheepy: Aru: You don't need to go out and fight monsters off path to be cool! To me, you've always been the coolest because you're you! So...! Please don't put yourself at risk! Arsé-kun: Kay: ?!?!!??!!??? Sheepy: Aru: ...? Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm not cool... I'm a goddamn disaster. Sheepy: Aru: Yeah, your face is! Who hurt it, huh?! Arsé-kun: Kay: ...? *he tries to wipe his face off with his sleeve* I wasn't hurt. I'm just... ... Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 2 Arsé-kun: *Kay looks woozy suddenly...* Sheepy: Aru: K-Kay...? Um, um...! Sheepy: Aru: I'm here for you! It's okay...! Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 5 Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 17 Arsé-kun: Kay: .... *he shakes his head and tries to regain his balance* It was... It was bad. Sheepy: Grif: *He leans over more towards Kay and incoherently slurs out a mumble that sounds something like "If dogs only go on walks outside, how do they move inside"* Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... Y... Yeah, Grif's absolutely fucked in the head too. Sheepy: Aru: It sounds awful... Arsé-kun: Kay: Uh. I dunno, bud. Work on that more. Arsé-kun: Kay: I already haveta hear this shit later this week... Sheepy: Aru: What? What does that mean? Arsé-kun: Kay: I mean I gotta babysit Artair after he gets his wisdom teeth pulled. Can't wait to fuck that up somehow. Arsé-kun: *in the background, Merlin is NOT cool with these vibes. These vibes suck* Sheepy: Aru: Okay, I'll join you! Arsé-kun: Kay: wh Sheepy: Aru: We can babysit Artair together! Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Uh. Sure, I guess. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'll... I'll explain what happened when I can... Stop feeling like I'm gonna eat shit thinkin' about it. Sheepy: Grif: *He leans closer to Kay and mumbles out another incoherent mess.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... Bud, Applebee's doesn't serve bees in apples. Sheepy: Aru: Okay, take all the time you need! *She gives Kay a bright smile!* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... N' this mess next to me is gonna need more help. Tell dick wizard to stop being a useless pussy. Sheepy: Aru: Merlin, Grif needs help! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Huh? *he resumes paying attention* Uh, right, that makes sense. *he comes over to support Grif* Sheepy: *Grif is very unsteady. He puts basically all of his weight onto Merlin, and doesn't really seem aware of his existence.* Sheepy: Grif: *He slurs out something along the lines of, "the yog in yog-sothoth is short for government"* Arsé-kun: Merlin: W-woah there, tiger, I think you need to slow down there. Sheepy: Grif: Wben bde pkans slmething, it's a gobernment consoirsacu. Hehehehe! Iaa! Ia! Yig-Sithtith! *he grunts and clutches his chest* Khhhh...! Sheepy: Aru:......Um.... Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... Yeah, maybe shut the fuck up, Grif. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... I'd tell him to get some sleep, but I ain't carryin' his fat ass. Sheepy: Aru: It's okay! Merlin can carry him! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I absolutely cannot! Sheepy: Aru: Huh? Why not? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm not a muscles guy..! And he's in full armor..! Sheepy: Aru: Huh. Sheepy: Aru:..... Sheepy: Aru: Think strong thoughts! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay. Bedi will definitely come save me. Definitely. Sheepy: Aru: Can Bedi carry him? Arsé-kun: Merlin: The extra manpower would help..! Sheepy: Aru: That makes sense! Arsé-kun: Kay: Why wait...? Merlin can teleport. Can you? Sheepy: Aru: Okay, Merlin! It's time to teleport home! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wh-wh-what?! I can't do me and four other people...! Sheepy: Aru: Arthur and me go together! Just like Grif and his dad! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, yeah, definitely helps. Fine, but if I collapse it's on you! Sheepy: Grif: Hehehe~ gbe caslte colllapses btut I'm stitkll hehre~ Arsé-kun: *Merlin focuses all his power, and...! They're gone!* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 1 Sheepy: Aru:.... Where's Merlin? Arsé-kun: Kay: *holding up Grif* Fuck if I know..! Sheepy: Aru: Oh... he sacrificed his short way home for us...! He's really kind! Arsé-kun: Kay: Whatever, help me move this lug..! Sheepy: Aru: Ummm... I'll try! Sheepy: *Aru does her best to help!* Arsé-kun: *With the power of teamwork, Grif can be guided to the sofa and put down! Good job, team.* Sheepy: Grif: *He melts into the sofa. Comfy* Sheepy: Grif: *He slurs something along the lines of, "I heard the king has pain in his hands. they say he's got... arthuritis"* Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Good night, Grif. Go the fuck to sleep. Sheepy: Grif: *It... doesn't take him very long to conk out on the sofa.* Arsé-kun: Kay: .... A.. *he stifles a yawn* A nap sounds kinda nice right now.... Arsé-kun: Kay: .... But it's too early. Maybe later.. Sheepy: Aru: Merlin said that rebelling is good! Rebel against society's rules! Nap time is any time! Arsé-kun: Kay: Did he? Huh. No wonder he never does homework. Sheepy: Aru: Yup! That's his life choice! Arsé-kun: Kay: He's gonna die from diabetes. But that's his decision. *he's kidding.* Sheepy: Aru: Can wizards get diabetes? Arsé-kun: *Kay shrugs* Sheepy: Aru: I can ask Teacher next time! Arsé-kun: *Merlin teleports into the room. He looks slightly annoyed for a moment, then plays it off* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Whoops, went too far! What're we talkin' about? Sheepy: Aru: We were just wondering if you can get diabetes! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I have no idea! Sheepy: Aru: I'm going to ask Teacher next time we talk. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Go for it! Sheepy: Aru: Beddy can't taste much of anything, so presumably the body needs different resources and doesn't process sugar the way humans do...? Sheepy: Aru: But he's half. You're basically human! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I thought I was, but if a succubus can pick up on it... Sheepy: Aru: Maybe succubi are just really sensitive to incubi? Sheepy: Aru: I have a friend who's basically a succubus. Her name is Leanan-Sidhe! Sheepy: Aru: She says that Myrrdin's a "cruel jerk who's strict about everything and bullies all the fae around him into acting the way he thinks is right, and one incubus shouldn't have a say on how all fae interact with humans". Arsé-kun: Merlin: Amen. Tell Myrrd I agree with her. Sheepy: Aru: Well, his restrictions are things along the lines of... Sheepy: Aru: "You can't kill humans!" or "You can't steal humans' souls!" Sheepy: Aru: She has all sorts ot complaints about Teacher, too! Arsé-kun: Merlin: They can steal from bad people, everyone wins! Arsé-kun: *Kay left the scene a while ago, and only passes back through with a bundle of clean clothes so he can go shower. He deserves it* Sheepy: Aru: "He's a meddling, selfish man who's totally worthless when you actually need him for something! He's never considered anyone's feelings when making decisions even once! The only thing going for him is that he isn't Myrrdin!" Arsé-kun: Merlin: Damn, I like this chick. She sounds like she gets people! Sheepy: Aru: She came over for tea parties a lot! Arsé-kun: Merlin: You had tea parties?? What else wasn't I called for? Sheepy: Aru: I had them with my friends! Beddy would join too, but he's really shy. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Dang... Now I wanna make tea... But I bet I'd never hear the end of it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *imitating Bedi's tone* Merlin? You made tea? Has something gotten into you, or did you finish your soda? Sheepy: Aru: We can have our own tea party! Sheepy: Aru: Rebel against Bedi! Arsé-kun: Merlin: *now copying Kay, poorly* You did something without me? Sheepy: Aru: Kay can join if he wants to! Sheepy: Aru: Arthur can join, too! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I would love to, barring the obvious problem. Sheepy: Aru: Beddy would never eat nor drink at it. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I might possibly be deceased. Sheepy: Aru: But tea parties aren't about the tea! It's about the friends! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I intend to join. I will just be bitter. Sheepy: Aru: Think solid thoughts and you might be able to be solid again! Sheepy: Aru: I'll ask Morne for help, too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Aight, get on that! I'll get the kettle! Sheepy: Aru: Thank you, Merlin! Arsé-kun: *Arthur has 15 different questions within ten seconds of tea being started.* Sheepy: Aru: [chat] Hi! How can ghosts become solid? Arsé-kun: Malleus: [chat] With sufficient efforts. I will pass the phone off to Morne to simplify matters. Sheepy: Misyr: [chat] ghosts are a gas, stick them in cold enough temperatures and they'll become a liwuid, stick them in colder temperasures and theull become a solid Arsé-kun: Morne: [chat] I WISH IT WORKED THAT WAY. GOOD AFTERNOON ALL. Sheepy: Misyr: [chat] if I was a ghoat I'd just do it that way Arsé-kun: Morne: [chat] GHOAT. Sheepy: Misyr: [chat] ghoat Arsé-kun: Angra: [chat] Ghoat Sheepy: Aru: [chat] Arthur is really sad because he can't be included in most things! I want to make him happy! Arsé-kun: Morne: [chat] WHAT MALLEUS STATES IS CORREC. Arsé-kun: Morne: [chat] IT TAKES CONCENTRATION. EASY TO MESS UP. Sheepy: Aru: [chat] Is there anything specific he should be thinking of? Arsé-kun: Morne: [chat] MAINTANING A PHYSICAL FORM. BE SELFISH. "I WANT TO DO THIS". Sheepy: Aru: [chat] Thank you, Morne!! Arsé-kun: Morne: [chat] YOU'RE WELCOME. DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE QUESTIONS? MALLEUS HAS BEEN PINNED DOWN AND CANNOT TAKE THE PHONE BACK AT THI MOMENT. Sheepy: Aru: [chat] No, thank you!! I'll tell Arthur what you said! Sheepy: Aru: Arthur! Morne said that concentration is really important, but it's easy to mess up. He said... "concentrate on maintaining a physical form, be selfish, and think 'I want to do this'!"... That's the exact wording! Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... I can attempt this. No guarantees I will succeed. Sheepy: Aru: If you fail, that's okay! You won't always get it first try! By working hard and practicing, you might get it! Arsé-kun: *Morne sends an image to the chat. Malleus is under Memrys, and Mewlin is sitting on Memrys. Mint is watching. Malleus is dying. Thanks Morne.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: I don't wish to make a mess. Sheepy: Aru: It's okay to make a mess sometimes. Sheepy: Aru: Beddy dropped a bunch of stuff once and it broke. It turns out, he was actually poisoned by one of his animals! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Horrifying. Arsé-kun: *Arthur goes back to asking questions to not ask about that.* Sheepy: Aru: I'll try to come up with things we can do together that don't require a body, too! Oh, do you like reading? Arsé-kun: Arthur: At times. However, I predict a struggle due to not knowing most modern language. Sheepy: Aru: Well, don't worry! We can start with something you might be more familiar with! Sheepy: Aru: "Le Mort D'Arthur"! Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Arsé-kun: Arthur: I'd much prefer staying unfamiliar with the events directly after my demise, thank you. Sheepy: Aru: It's a collection of stories about your knights and you! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Then perhaps. Sheepy: Aru: For example, the time Sir Cai insulted you! Or the other time Sir Cai insulted you! Arsé-kun: Arthur: That was every time he spoke. Sheepy: Aru: Well, there's a chapter devoted to this. Sheepy: Aru: Or the time Sir Jaufre was sent unprepared into battle and got killed, only to be revived by the wind and nursed back to health by leeches... But leeches aren't actually as useful as believed in those times... Sheepy: Aru: They have their medicinal benefits but they're basically never used anymore. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Explain? Sheepy: Aru: Well, we have all sorts of medicines now to cure illnesses. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ...? Sheepy: Aru: For example! When people get colds, they can drink substance or consume a powder that reduces inflammation and helps get rid of fevers. Cold medicine! Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... Alcohol? Sheepy: Aru: No, um... Sheepy: Aru: It's not alcohol. It's, um... Sheepy: Aru: Like a potion? Arsé-kun: *Kay entered while Aru was speaking* Arsé-kun: Kay: Potion of shit your bed if you overdose. Sheepy: Aru: Huh? Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, you can't make medicine sound godly. It sucks sometimes. Sheepy: Aru: But considering their only form of healthcare back then basically was snakeoil, leeches, and prayer, it is godly. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Prayers did work. ... Occasionally. Arsé-kun: *in the other room, Merlin's dumping everything needed for tea and related drinks on the table. sugar, teabags, other teabags, cobweb covered teabags, hot chocolate packets, you get it* Sheepy: Aru: Kay, you can join us for our tea party! Arsé-kun: Kay: I guess I don't get much choice in the matter! *but he isn't complaining* Sheepy: Aru: You'll join us? That's great! Arsé-kun: *Kay goes and gets cups, and coasters. fuck out the way merlin* Sheepy: Elyan: *deep, raspy voice* I'll do any *squeaky voice* tea party! *same jaufre voice* to ensure my king's happiness, even if it makes him hate me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Good job, Elyan!! Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Sheepy: Elyan: *squeaky* Tea party, tea party~! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Tea pawty, tea pawty~ Sheepy: Elyan: *He seems excited! He responds in a squeaky Merlin imitation* Tea pawty, tea pawty~! Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's so talented. Sheepy: Aru: What a smart water! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Water joins the tea party~ Sheepy: Aru: Now we have five! Sheepy: Aru: Too bad Bedi isn't here and Grif isn't feeling well. Sheepy: Aru: If they were, we could have everyone together! Arsé-kun: *Fou gets on the table. Fou is put onto the floor. Fou gets on the table.* Sheepy: Aru: Fou, you can sit with me if you want! Arsé-kun: *Fou chirps and sticks his face into Merlin's cup. Merlin isn't pleased but takes a picture anyway* Sheepy: Elyan: *chirp* Arsé-kun: Fou: Mrrrp? Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Arsé-kun: *Fou does the halloween cat and hops back, and right off the table* Sheepy: Elyan:? Arsé-kun: *Fou halloween cat waddles towards him, bats him in the face once, and leaves* Sheepy: Elyan: ???... Sheepy: Aru: Is Fou okay? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah. he's fine. Sheepy: Aru: That's good! Sheepy: *Bedi, meanwhile, has finally returned!* Arsé-kun: Kay: Pip pip. Sheepy: Bedi: Kay! I've been looking all over for you! Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah? How'd that go? Sheepy: Bedi: Instead of finding you, we found Merlin's, um... unique ancestor. Arsé-kun: Kay: That could be any of 'em. Sheepy: Bedi: Purple. Laughs a lot. Drinks coffee. Sheepy: Aru: 6! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, grampa Misyr. Sheepy: Bedi: He's causing problems. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, he helped find Kay and Grif, so I'll excuse it! Sheepy: Bedi: No, no, um... Mr. Dio riled him up - not in an angry sense, but... how to put it... Arsé-kun: Merlin: In the drunken idiot way? Sheepy: Bedi: I suppose his feelings don't really matter when the end result is that Holmes is trying to talk him down from nuking the campus's power supply. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ...... Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] SOMEONE TELL GRAMPA MISYR NUKING POWER SUPPLIES IS BAD THANKS Sheepy: Myrrdin: [chat] Everyone calls me "stiff" and "demanding"! If I told Misyr not to nuke power supplies, I'd be feeding into it! Sheepy: Myrrdin: [chat] But the reason wht I have to tell everyone not to do things like that is because I'm one of the few people in this family with neither destructive impulses nor a lack of common sense Arsé-kun: Mewlin: [chat] I have neither but I can do it!! Sheepy: Myrrdin: [chat] Good luck. He never listens. "I'm a final boss so I can do what I want!" Arsé-kun: Mewlin: [chat] Yeah? Well cats are save points! Most bosses can't beat saving and reloading!! Sheepy: Mint: [chat] Actually, if you're severely underleveled and underprepared, no amount of reloading can save you. Arsé-kun: Mewlin: [chat] Reload and leave! Level grind the sidequests! Arsé-kun: Mewlin: [chat] -Not a Gamer Sheepy: Mint: [chat] This is what I've learned from gamers. Sheepy: Mint: [chat] Misyr - unable to properly wield a gaming controller. Doesn't know common characters nor console names. This is info I have written down. Arsé-kun: Mewlin: [chat] Yeah, that sounds right to me! Sheepy: Mint: [chat] Conclusion: Demon world does not have video games. Arsé-kun: Mewlin: [chat] Okay, going! I'm gonna send him to the shadow realm! (not literal) Sheepy: Mint: [chat] I'll watch Meril for you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Gramps 9 is gonna deal with it, he says. Sheepy: Aru: 3 says that 6 is a complete fraud. Arsé-kun: Merlin: 3 said he didn't wanna be considered strict if he tried to stop 6. Sheepy: Aru: Well, maybe 6 will be easy to take down...? Arsé-kun: Kay: *deadpan* 7 ate 9, what the fuck is going on here. Sheepy: Aru: I don't know what he means by fraud... Sheepy: Aru: 6! Misyr! He's the one who claims to be a demon lord! Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, the one we caught Watson bullying that one time? Sheepy: Aru: Myrrdin says that Misyr isn't any more of a demon than anyone else in the family, unless you take the incubus relation into consideration. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hmmm... Sheepy: Aru: But considering how 5 - Makenna's so incredibly destructive, even if Misyr is lying and is just a chuuni, he should be taken seriously when he says he's going to destroy something, I think. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Blow up the sun. Sheepy: Aru: Well! Maybe not that part. Arsé-kun: *Kay leaves to get the kettle* Sheepy: Aru: By the way, did you know? Sheepy: Aru: He used to have white hair, just like you! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Huh. Sheepy: Aru: Myrrdin complained a lot about him changing after he dyed his hair. Basically, Myrrdin complains a lot! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Noticed! Sheepy: Aru: Well, he doesn't go out much, and only goes out with someone else generally. Arsé-kun: Kay: So he's a bitch. Sheepy: Aru: That's a strong way to put it! Sheepy: Aru: If you're interested in any knowledge about them, I know some things! Sheepy: *...The lights flicker very briefly!* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... That can't be good. Sheepy: Aru: I wonder what that was...? Sheepy: Aru: Maybe a tea party won't work out after all if the power is going to go out. Arsé-kun: Kay: Eh fuck it. We already got the tea. Sheepy: Aru: Let's have fun while we still can! Sheepy: Aru: Arthur, Arthur! Do you know what chocolate is? Arsé-kun: Arthur: ...? No, I do not believe I do. Sheepy: Aru: It's, umm.. what's something similar to it that you've had? Sheepy: Aru: It's sweet and melty! But sometimes it's bitter. It can help get rid of headaches! But sometimes it can cause headaches. Sheepy: Aru: There's many different flavors and forms for it. For example, there's a drink version of it called hot chocolate. Sheepy: Aru: It's like a thicker, sweeter, less caffeinated tea, I guess...? Sheepy: Aru: By the way, caffeine is a chemical I think! It keeps you awake. Some teas have it! Arsé-kun: Arthur: What a large amount of information at once.. Sheepy: Aru: Oh, sorry! I'll try to be more concise next time! Arsé-kun: Arthur: What I got out of it is that many things have been discovered by now. Sheepy: Aru: Yes! Sheepy: Aru: When you're physical again, you can try it! Sheepy: Aru: Although, maybe it'll have too strong of a flavor for you? Arsé-kun: Kay: He'd eat a sour gummy worm and just fucking die again. Sheepy: Aru:?! Sheepy: Aru: Don't eat any sour gummy worms, Arthur! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Implying I know these words in this order. Sheepy: Aru:...Kay!! You tricked me! I don't know how to describe that! Arsé-kun: Kay: What's there to describe?! It's a sour worm! Sheepy: Aru: But people don't eat worms! Arsé-kun: Kay: Someone in the world does. Sheepy: Bedi: Actually, I watched Griflet eat one once. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's Grif! Sheepy: Aru: He doesn't count... Sheepy: Aru: Umm... It's... Sheepy: Aru: Green... Yellow... Orange... Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's a sweet, but it's covered in sour. It ain't bad, honestly. Sheepy: Aru: Umm.. There's like, multiple species of gummies...? Sheepy: Aru:..... Sheepy: Aru: I don't know anything about candy! Arsé-kun: Kay: Make Lucan do it. He's the culinary student. Sheepy: Aru: Wouldn't Merlin be best suited to talk about junk food? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey! I'm a science guy, not a foodie! Sheepy: Aru: Eh? But you've got a lot of experience with junk food, don't you? You're better suited than me! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, fine!! It's junk food! There you go! Sheepy: Aru: Eh? I was hoping for a more detailed answer... Sheepy: Aru: You know, if a medieval peasant ate a dorito, they would probably die. Arsé-kun: Merlin: They'd take one sip of a starbucks coffee and just have a heart attack. Sheepy: Aru: Yeah, yeah! Arsé-kun: Kay: They'd think a hot dog is literal. Sheepy: Aru: They'd eat a twinkies and get sick instantly. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I'd like to watch you lot eat meat straight off the table and keep being sassy. Sheepy: Bedi: I've watched Griflet eat things from the ground. Sheepy: Aru: Once again, I don't think that really applies! Sheepy: Aru: Hmm... Meat off the table, no plate... Sheepy: Aru: I guess with what they lacked in taste, they made up with in bacteria...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Absolutely! Sheepy: Aru: I always wanted to meet King Arthur! I'm glad I could without having to eat medieval food! Sheepy: Aru: Hey, you know Renfest? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I went once! Sheepy: Aru: Well, you know how they sell what they claim to be medieval food? Arsé-kun: Merlin: On plates? Sheepy: Aru: Paper plates! Plastic sporks! Sheepy: Aru: Fried ice cream... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I mean... That's to not bacteria everything, yeah? Arsé-kun: Merlin: fried what Sheepy: Aru: Fried ice cream! Arsé-kun: Merlin: That exists?? Sheepy: Aru: They sell that there! Sheepy: Aru: It's fried bread with cold ice cream in the middle. Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... That sounds real frickin' good. Sheepy: Aru: But if a medieval peasant tried to use a spork, well... Sheepy: Aru: ...Really, it'd be as useless as it is for us! Arsé-kun: *Arthur is trying to handle a tea packet. It isn't going* Sheepy: Aru: I believe in you! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I can handle swords in stones and wars, but not a single packet. Sheepy: Aru: That's because you haven't gotten the hang of it yet! You're King Arthur! You can do anything if you put your mind to it! Arsé-kun: *Arthur is having enough trouble keeping his arm on the table. He is Trying* Sheepy: Aru: Look, you've already made so much progress! Sheepy: *Aru looks absolutely hyped!* Arsé-kun: *Arthur turns to look at her while grabbing at the teabag. Is hold* Sheepy: Aru: Arthur, Arthur! You did it! Arsé-kun: *Arthur notices and promptly drops it. Oop. He does pick it back up though* Arsé-kun: *Your Ghost has evolved into Poltergeist!* Sheepy: Aru: !!! You've already made so much progress! Amazing! Arsé-kun: Arthur: As I have heard it be said-- I did the thing. Sheepy: Aru: Yes! Arsé-kun: Kay: Can't wait for him to get pissy and reenact the Poltergeist or some shit. Sheepy: Aru: Huh? Arsé-kun: Kay: Y'know. Angry ghost throwing shit around. Sheepy: Aru: Would he do that? Would Arthur get mad and throw things around? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Who knows? Sheepy: Aru: That answer is really ominous! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I wouldn't know if my behavior has changed since becoming a ghost. I would need to be informed. Sheepy: Aru: But I suppose sometimes when people are angry, they want to be alone... I'd understand that, too! Either way, I'm here for you! Arsé-kun: *rank ku ha* Arsé-kun: *Arthur will now die for y-wait* Sheepy: Aru: By the way, when I'm really upset, I cry and hug someone or something I really like until I feel better. Have you tried that before? It really works! Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... Can't say I have, Sheepy: Aru: Well, you can always try it! Sheepy: Aru: It always makes my mind feel clearer! Arsé-kun: Kay: For a grand total of one of us who feels that way. Sheepy: Aru: Huh? You let me hug you and cry on you earlier, so you must agree to some extent, right? Arsé-kun: Kay: That Arsé-kun: Kay: That's not the same. Sheepy: Aru:?.... Sheepy: Aru: Beddy's the best to hug when you're sad! Sheepy: Aru: He gets rid of all your sadness! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Diff Bedi but I agree anyway! Sheepy: Bedi: Ah... Thank you. It overjoys me to hear this. Arsé-kun: Merlin: <3 Sheepy: Aru: That's just universally a trait of all Bediveres! Arsé-kun: *Fou is staring out the window at another cat. Lorge.* Sheepy: Aru:...! Oh! *She goes and opens the window* Hello! Arsé-kun: Kay: God, no, not another cat. Sheepy: Aru: He's my friend! Arsé-kun: Kay: Who isn't?! Sheepy: Aru:..... Sheepy: Aru: *She tilts her head*.... Sheepy: Aru:..... Sheepy: Aru: *She tilts her head*.... Arsé-kun: Kay: I thought so. Sheepy: Aru: Anyway, you can come in! I was just talking about the best people to hug, so your timing is fitting! Arsé-kun: *Fat Cat enters room. It's large and its rotund and it is furry as hell. Fou doesn't even try to fight this new presence* Arsé-kun: *Merlin is staring...* Sheepy: *Aru hugs the cat!* Sheepy: *Elyan is giving the cat confused glances. This is the second cat he's seen here, and it looks nothing like Fou! New reference material? New reference material.* Arsé-kun: *The cat makes a Noise™.* Sheepy: Aru: I was a little concerned! Arsé-kun: cat: mmph. Sheepy: Aru: But the lights only flickered a bit. You did great! *pet, pet* Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's 9? Sheepy: Aru: Uhuh! Sheepy: Aru: By the way, he's #4 on best people to hug! Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's a lot smaller than I expected as a cat! Grampa cat. Sheepy: Aru: He's soft and kind! Arsé-kun: Mewlin: mewww Sheepy: Aru: You weren't hurt at all, were you? Arsé-kun: Mewlin: Nyape! Sheepy: Aru: That's good! I was concerned that'd he be too rough. Arsé-kun: *Mewlin looks around. And then sniffs Fou. Fou stares.* Sheepy: Elyan: *staaaaaare* Arsé-kun: Mewlin: ...????? Bird? Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Arsé-kun: Mewlin: *Nyonk!* Sheepy: Elyan:?! Arsé-kun: Mewlin: Weird bird! Sheepy: Aru: His name is Elyan! Arsé-kun: Mewlin: I'll be outta your fur in a bit, but gimme a feather, birdie! Sheepy: Aru: He's a water, according to Grif. I don't know what that means, but... He likes copying Merlin! Arsé-kun: Mewlin: uwu? Sheepy: Elyan:....? *squeaky Mewlin imitation* Birdie~! Arsé-kun: Mewlin: Oh, I adore this. Arsé-kun: Mewlin: Hewwo? Is anybody dere?? heepy: Elyan: Heewwwooo! Arsé-kun: Mewlin: Mistah Obawma! Sheepy: Elyan: *squeaky Mewlin voice* Obawma! Arsé-kun: *Merlin dies of laughter in the background* Arsé-kun: *Mewlin goes to investigate Merlin! ... And Bedi!* Sheepy: Bedi: Um... Hello. I'm Bedivere. Sheepy: Bedi: I'm a friend of Merlin's. It's nice to meet you, um... Arsé-kun: Mewlin: Mewlin! Merlin the ninth! Pleasure to meet yew, Bedivere! Sheepy: Bedi: Amazing... I didn't know that the ninth Merlin was a cat! Sheepy: Aru: Really? Myrrdin says that Misyr is a fraud. Arsé-kun: Mewlin: I'm not giving any information on that! Demon lord's the best answer that isn't... A myess! Sheepy: Aru:...? The mystery thickens...! Arsé-kun: Mewlin: Mint probably figured it out! But I ain't gonna ask because I'll tell everybody, nya! Sheepy: Elyan:..... *squeaky Mewlin voice* Nya! Arsé-kun: Mewlin: Quick learner! Myah! Arsé-kun: Mewlin: Aight, gonna get outta yowr fur now! Just lemme..! Arsé-kun: *Mewlin rolls on the kitchen mat. He sheds on it. His now* Sheepy: Aru: Wow... Kay will be mad... Arsé-kun: *Kay is very clearly annoyed. Cat gonna get punted like a football* Arsé-kun: Mewlin: Too bad too sad! Teleportation point marked for future use! Nyehhh nyehhhh! *pbbbbbt* Sheepy: Aru: I suppose it's worth it, then! Arsé-kun: Mewlin: I'll tell everyone you said hi! Sheepy: Aru: Thank you! Arsé-kun: *Mewlin does a little hop and *Blip*s out. Goodbye fat cat* Arsé-kun: Kay: Fucking cats. Sheepy: Aru: He's really cute! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I gotta learn to do that. Sheepy: Aru: I know a really rude cat, too! But at the end of the day, all cats are cute! Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm... But our carpet... Sheepy: Bedi: Well, I suppose it's no different than Fou spreading fur around. Arsé-kun: Kay: My poor vacuum.. Sheepy: Bedi: Do you really think his hair being here lets him teleport to this room? Arsé-kun: Kay: Sure hope not. We got enough cats. Sheepy: Bedi: We have Fou. Is one enough? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yes. Sheepy: Elyan: Nya! Nyaaa! Arsé-kun: Fou: Nya! Arsé-kun: Kay: This ain't a fucking zoo. Sheepy: Bedi: But the bird doesn't shed... Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, it just leaves puddles probably. Sheepy: Bedi: So far he doesn't shed! But what if he learns from Mewlin's example? Arsé-kun: Kay: Then so help me. Arsé-kun: Fou: mrrp! Sheepy: Grif: *he's still half asleep* Nya... Arsé-kun: Kay: jesus christ Sheepy: Grif: *he sits down and yawns* Wow... I slept well. Hahaha... I was acting really silly yesterday. I guess I just needed a change of pace. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah. Sure. Sheepy: Grif: I must've looked really wimpy getting knocked out so soon. Arsé-kun: Kay: Lets go with that. Sheepy: Grif: I had a bad dream. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, did you? Is it gonna make me puke tea on you? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Time to discuss this somewhere else, then! Sheepy: Grif: Huh? Sheepy: Grif: Wow... I guess my dream must be really scary if you want to discuss it alone. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Don't ruin our tea party vibes, go talk about whatever you lovebirds gotta talk about! *he ignores the glare Kay gives him. revenge* Sheepy: Grif: Sure, let's go somewhere else. Arsé-kun: *Kay and Grif relocate to Kay's room. Kay shuts the door* Sheepy: Grif: I had a bad dream. Arsé-kun: Kay: Are you sure? Sheepy: Grif: It was really bad. Arsé-kun: Kay: Are you really sure it was? Sheepy: Grif: My chest hurts just thinking about it. It hurts a lot in general. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's what happens when ya do it to yourself, dumbass. Sheepy: Grif: What're you.... Arsé-kun: Kay: On the bright side, you fuckin' obliterated the yellow bastard! Lets talk about that exclusively! Sheepy: Grif:...I had a bad dream I stabbed myself with my hand of all things. Everything's all hazy... Arsé-kun: Kay: :') Arsé-kun: Kay: But did you.... Do it? Sheepy: Grif: I'm feeling really useless, because I feel like I can't do something for you that you want done, but you can't do yourself. I remember something along those lines, yes. I want to be able to do anything for you. I need to get stronger... Arsé-kun: Kay: ....... Yeah, don't do the thing I asked you to do! Arsé-kun: Kay: I very much like being alive! Sheepy: Grif: Huh? Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: You didn't ask me to do anything in the dream that I remember... Arsé-kun: Kay: Then it was riiiight before that. I was right under you, wasn't I? Sheepy: Grif: How did you know? Arsé-kun: Kay: Are you really sure it was a dream, you berserker bitchass? Sheepy: Grif: I bled all over you, too, even though I promised not to bleed in front of you... Wow, dream me is terrible to you... Arsé-kun: Kay: That was... The least of my problems at that moment! Sheepy: Grif:...Is it not a dream? Arsé-kun: Kay: Ding ding, we got a winner. Sheepy: Grif: ....! Arsé-kun: Kay: No. No it goddamn was not. Sheepy: Grif: Kay! I'm sorry for bleeding on you! I'll bleed elsewhere in the future, so...! *He grunts and clutches his chest. Ow, ow, ow. Everything still hurts.* Arsé-kun: Kay: You were a foot away from fucking obliterating me, so I told you to just goddamn do it. But you didn't, so thank you! Sheepy: Grif: Yes! I'd never kill you! Arsé-kun: Kay: I literally begged you to get it over with. *he stops joking around* I really thought I was gonna die there. Sheepy: Grif:.....Kay... I'm sorry. Sheepy: Grif: Everything went blank after I hit that wall, and even then, it was all so hazy. Sheepy: Grif: I don't even know what happened. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're forgiven, Griflet. You weren't... You, until you fucked yourself up. Sheepy: Grif:.....? Arsé-kun: Kay: But like I said! You absolutely trashed the yellow bitch, so that's a positive! Sheepy: Grif: Hmm... Hmmmm... I thought I couldn't be driven mad by them. How concerning. I need to tell Dad about this. Arsé-kun: Kay: He knows. Trust me, he knows. Sheepy: Grif: If left undealt with, it could cause a huge problem... Sheepy: Grif: Ah? You told him? Excellent. Arsé-kun: Kay: Pssshhh, no. You bitched at him and used him as a ranged weapon. It worked, too! Knocked Hats onto his ass! Sheepy: Grif: I-I did what?! Sheepy: Grif: Oh no... Oh no, he's going to hate me... Sheepy: Grif: I don't want Dad to hate me... What do I do...? Arsé-kun: Kay: *imitating something between a gorilla and Grif* Ouuuugh! I'm angry! What do you MEAN you're uncertain, you liar! Everyone lies to me and I'm angry! Hoooo! Arsé-kun: Kay: And then you probably gave an eldritch being a concussion! Arsé-kun: Kay: But he probably figured it out. He's orb dad, not a dumbass like you. Arsé-kun: Kay: But... More importantly, I really wanted you to get it over with if I was gonna die. I'd rather the devil I know do it than anyone else.. And hell, it ain't like I can do it myself. Arsé-kun: Kay: ...... Not that I haven't considered it. Sheepy: Grif:.....Kay... Why would you...? It's not like you could just revive... *Grif is visibly confused. He tilts his head.* Is the afterlife that nice? I've died so many times,but I'll never experience it until my job is truly over. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Anyway, I'm glad you didn't do it. I never would've met you if you had. Before that, I was just drifting aimlessly without anyone to truly call a friend, outside of my own family. Sheepy: Grif: So... if you were to die now... Ah... I don't really know the words to truly describe the sadness I'd feel. Sheepy: Grif: Even the thought of it fills me with dread. I see. These must be the feelings I gained by bonding so closely with you. I must grow stronger to protect you... Ah, I mean...! *He appears flustered* And protect all humans, yes! Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, we're dating. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're allowed to say things to me like that. Arsé-kun: *Kay very clearly is ignoring that first question.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ...... But yeah. I'm glad I didn't do anything stupid too. Arsé-kun: Kay: But on the plus side!! *he picks up his dented golf club* I accomplished this on Hats! Sheepy: Grif: Wow... You used him to bend a golf club... Amazing! Arsé-kun: Kay: I got a hit on him at all! I can only get better from here! Sheepy: *There's some sort of chanting from Bedi outside the room. It's getting louder. take flight... Silver meteor... Dead end...* Sheepy: Bedi: --Airgetlam! *He suddenly busts into the room and hits Kay with his metal arm!* Arsé-kun: Kay: YEOW!! *he grabs onto his head where he's been struck* I definitely deserved that, but still..! Sheepy: Bedi: *He huffs* I could do much worse, but it'd be cruel of me. Arsé-kun: Kay: I could've used that when I was worse off, y'know! Sheepy: Bedi: Well, I wasn't there, because you ran off without telling anyone where you were going. Arsé-kun: Kay: I didn't mean yesterday!! Sheepy: Bedi: I looked all over the campus for you today! I didn't find you. I even went ahead and went to the detective for help... Sheepy: Bedi: My apologies for overhearing things. That was rude of me. However... Sheepy: Bedi: You are running around trying to look cool by putting yourself in harm's way. That isn't "cool" or "heroic". It's just irresponsible! Arsé-kun: Kay: I wasn't talking about... Arsé-kun: Kay: Maybe at the beginning I was, but that wasn't even what we were talking about! Sheepy: Bedi: However, you keep doing it! Arsé-kun: Kay: Didn't you get texted about it when we went?? Sheepy: Bedi: I got an incomprehensible cryptic message... Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Rrrright. I should have texted for Grif. Sheepy: Bedi: I paid it no mind, because I assumed it was just Grif practicing. Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, fine. Let's work this out, Bedi. How much did you hear? Sheepy: Bedi: Is it truly right of me to reveal just how rude I have been...? Sheepy: Bedi: Ah, what a conundrum... I feel so embarrassed about my actions... And to admit the extent of them... Sheepy: Bedi: However, I suppose I should be honest and admit that I heard you speaking about letting Grif end your life... Ah, I heard that too. And by that, I gleamed... Sheepy: Bedi:...How should I say... Arsé-kun: Kay: ... I think if you guys all didn't show up when you did, we wouldn't be here now. Sheepy: Bedi:...... Sheepy: Bedi:....Kay... Is that truly how you feel? Arsé-kun: Kay: It was for a while. Sheepy: Bedi: ...Why? Was it a lack of purpose...? Loneliness...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Both. Sheepy: Bedi:..... Sheepy: Bedi: I didn't even notice... I can't believe it... Arsé-kun: Kay: That's how it works. Always has. Arsé-kun: Kay: Living alone wasn't my best idea in the long run, huh. Sheepy: Bedi:.....Kay. I'm sorry... I should've been there for you more. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's okay. I didn't say anything. ... Really should have. Arsé-kun: Kay: And this might be stupid, but I feel like I'm doing something. I wasn't even touched this time! Sheepy: Bedi:......I see... Sheepy: Bedi: So this is your choice. There's no way I can change your mind...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Only if you can sidetrack me into something else! Sheepy: Bedi: Sidetrack...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Y'know. Distract me with somethin' else. Y'knooow. Sheepy: Bedi: My apologies... I don't really have any hobbies that are fun for people to join... Arsé-kun: Kay: Then what do you do all day? Bang?? Arsé-kun: Kay: Aww, never miiind. Arsé-kun: *Kay gets up, wipes off his whiteboard, and starts writing on it. No more edgy sad quotes. Only positive affirmations on this whiteboard tonight boys! I have friends! I have things to do! People care! Artair's dentist appointment is tomorrow. I'm gonna learn to kick ass!!* Sheepy: Bedi: Well, let's see... Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin and I spend a lot of time together doing many different things. Sheepy: Bedi: I mostly just follow his example. Arsé-kun: Kay: Teach me the magic you know then, scrublord! Sheepy: Bedi:....Um... I have little talent in that department... Sheepy: Bedi: Aru picks it up quickly. Have you asked her? Arsé-kun: Kay: She refers to Merlin! Last time I tried, I blew shit up. Sheepy: Bedi: The truth is, I mostly just use it to enhance Airgetlam. Arsé-kun: Kay: Good enough! Teach me how to do that too! Sheepy: Bedi: I can recognize plants with ease, so I could be of use when it comes to that. Sheepy: Bedi: I can immediately recognize if things are edible or not. Sheepy: Bedi: For example, I could teach you how to make healing potions. Very simple. Arsé-kun: Kay: Eh? You know how to do that? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. I'm very proud of it. Arsé-kun: Kay: I wouldn't need to rely on SOMEONE'S hoarding then.... Sheepy: Bedi: It is very enjoyable making them with Merlin... Sheepy: Grif: Wow... You should tell them to stop hoarding... Arsé-kun: Kay: It's you, moron. Sheepy: Grif: Wow.... Sheepy: Grif: This... is the one thing you can't have. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fair enough! You can't have my healing items then either, so nyehhh! ;P Sheepy: Grif: Hahaha... Foolishness. As if I would want your healing items. After all... Sheepy: Grif: I might need them later! Sheepy: Grif: What a waste to use them now! Later could be so much worse! Figure something out and scrape by! Sheepy: Grif: That's the way of a kni- Ghhaak! *He clutches his chest* The next boss's always worse...!! Arsé-kun: Kay: Shut up before you ki--- Before you goddamn die a second time. Sheepy: Bedi: Wouldn't he heal by now? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Good point. Sheepy: Grif:.....Hmmm... hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: And yet... It hurts a lot. Very much. I'd rate it 8/10 on a pain scale. Arsé-kun: Kay: What's orb think? Sheepy: Grif: *he pulls out Paimon* Arsé-kun: *Paimon is very cracked. Be Careful* Sheepy: Grif:.....? Sheepy: Grif:....Dad? How'd this happen...?! Arsé-kun: Yog: *from Paimon* Oh, you're speaking to me now? Sheepy: Grif: Why wouldn't I..?. Arsé-kun: Yog: Well, I was used as a concussive weapon, to answer your question. And I figured you were at least a bit upset with me being unable to assist at the time. Sheepy: Grif: I don't remember anything. Arsé-kun: Yog: I already wrote it down. Here. *a popup appears!* Sheepy: Grif: X, X, X.... Close, close... Arsé-kun: Yog: Absolutely not. You need to observe how dangerous this was. Sheepy: Grif: If I was mad at you enough I didn't want to be in speaking terms with you, I don't wanna remember. Arsé-kun: Yog: You can tell me if you have any complaints. I wouldn't have any reasons to be angry with you. Arsé-kun: Yog: My only complaint is to at least tell me before I am a blunt weapon. I was not prepared for that. Sheepy: Grif: *huff* Don't have anything to talk about about that! Arsé-kun: Yog: Nothing? Nothing about my not warning you at all prior? Or how about how I say things and never explain? I can tell when you're upset, Grif. Sheepy: Grif: Well, that's a flaw you gave me. No control over that! Sheepy: Grif: Most people go without their parents telling them they've been targeted by a family member, or that they've been modeled after some incredibly unlikable man. You're just following the norm, yes. *huff* Arsé-kun: Yog: ... Jaufre was a very good knight that I respected for his ideals and stubborness, but go off, I suppose. Sheepy: Grif: And yet, the people who knew him disliked him. Arsé-kun: Yog: It happens to be that way sometimes. I only used him as a base. You're Griflet, not Jaufre. Arsé-kun: Yog: I again refer to this like the sims creator menu. You can start with a base, but change it completely from there. Sheepy: Grif: Sometimes it doesn't quite feel like it. Arsé-kun: Yog: Then it will have to be looked into. That may be an error on my part. Arsé-kun: Yog: Having a connection with a dead man was not intended. Sheepy: Grif: Elyan was imitating him. Something about his words made my heart ache. Arsé-kun: Yog: I will prepare a quest for you based on this. I may have an idea.. But I will not go on what I've seen. Sheepy: Grif: There's another thing, too. Sheepy: Grif: When I was revived, I wasn't healed much. Arsé-kun: Yog: That is due to a passive buff. You deal extra damage to Eldritch enemies. You yourself are also counted as Eldritch. Self damage is increased. Sheepy: Grif: When can I expect to heal? Arsé-kun: Yog: So the revive's heal did not actually completely work. My error again. If I had prepared earlier on, I'd have caught it... You could. Use an item now. Sheepy: Grif: Ahahaha! Arsé-kun: Kay: All I got are the status sweets and some cookies that don't do shit. Can't help. Sheepy: Grif: Tomorrow's boss is always worse! Arsé-kun: Kay: Do these do anything? *he holds a chaos cookie out for Grif* Sheepy: Grif: Many things. Arsé-kun: Kay: Is it bad? Sheepy: Grif: Sometimes. Arsé-kun: Yog: I absolutely do not recommend it right now. Sheepy: Grif: Ha? Arsé-kun: Yog: Unless you want one of the worst outcomes. Sheepy: Grif: No. Arsé-kun: Yog: Please do not die a second time this week. Sheepy: Grif: I'll fight in this state and win! That's the power of a knight! Hahah- Khhhh! Arsé-kun: Yog: .... My disappointment is immeasurable and I want to see you in the other room. Sheepy: Grif: ?! ...D-disappointed? Immeasurable... ... F-fine. I'll go to the other room. *He gets up and heads out of Kay's room* Arsé-kun: *Yog is already in the other room, legs over the side of a chair, already got some hot cocoa. Timey whimey shut the fuck up.* Arsé-kun: Yog: Please learn to not be so selfish with your belongings. Also, do you want to eat? I saved food for you. Sheepy: Grif: Ah. In person... Normally, I'd be happy about this. Arsé-kun: Yog: I didn't say I was disappointed with you, my over-assuming dragonkin. Sheepy: Grif: Dad is like that too. ... Did I eat yesterday? Arsé-kun: Yog: You did not. Arsé-kun: *Yog pulls out a tupperware. It's lukewarm. who is luke and why is he war[brick'd]* Sheepy: Grif: Wow. Plastic. Looks crunchy. Arsé-kun: Yog: If you eat the plastic I will most certainly dump you into space. Sheepy: Grif:?! I can visit you if I eat it... Arsé-kun: Yog: .... Arsé-kun: Yog: I am outside of space. You know this. Sheepy: Grif: Hmm... hmmm. So that won't work. Arsé-kun: Kay: Eat my cooking before I give you a swirly in the toilet you domesticated feral tide pod infestation Sheepy: Grif: I understand only some of those words and not in that order. Arsé-kun: Kay: I called you a poisonous feral bastard. Sheepy: Grif: I see... Sheepy: Grif: Hungry... Sheepy: Grif: I'm hungry, so I'll eat it Arsé-kun: *Kay waits* Sheepy: *Grif eats the leftovers.* Arsé-kun: *Kay waits expectantly part 2* Sheepy: Grif:...Tastes good. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... I feel bad not eating it yesterday... Arsé-kun: *Kay looks relieved* Arsé-kun: Yog: And now, my last task while here. I want to buy those twinkies off you. Sheepy: Grif:...... Sheepy: Grif: *squint* Arsé-kun: Yog: ... Okay, just one then. Sheepy: Grif:.......What's a twinkie? Arsé-kun: Yog: ... Pocket bread. Sheepy: Grif: I will sell you my pocket bread. Arsé-kun: Yog: Yahoo. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... I can sell Dad things, and he's even right here in the room with me... Arsé-kun: Yog: Everything else you found I recommend bringing to Wilbur. Herbert won't care about things that aren't or weren't living. Sheepy: Grif: What about minions? Arsé-kun: Yog: ... Which kind? Arsé-kun: Yog: You got one? That can go to Herbert then, yes. Sheepy: Grif: By the way. Sheepy: Grif: How can I fix Paimon? Sheepy: Grif: And will my menu be affected? Arsé-kun: Yog: I can repair Paimon. I do expect a glitch or two to slip through while I'm not watching, though. Sheepy: Grif: I see.... That's fine. I can handle glitches. Arsé-kun: Yog: I can't say what kind will appear if they do. Too many potentials to choose from. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Even Dad doesn't know things sometimes. Arsé-kun: Yog: It happens. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... I wonder what else you don't know. Arsé-kun: Yog: Grandfather's original name. Where my parent is. Why humans are the way that they are. Why I can't come out more often. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... You sure don't know a lot. Arsé-kun: Yog: There's a reason I look things up when you ask for definitions. Sheepy: Grif:......? Arsé-kun: Yog: To make sure you get a correct answer. Sheepy: Grif:... Hmm.. hmm..... *he looks up* ... Arsé-kun: Yog: .... Sheepy: Grif:...Didn't learn anything. Arsé-kun: Yog: ... As in, to check a fact or get information about something. Sheepy: Grif:...Ah. Sheepy: Grif: Wow.... Sheepy: Grif: So if I had this power... Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif: Wow, I wouldn't need to ask you anything. Arsé-kun: Yog: Learn to read and write english and you'll be able to research whatever you want. Sheepy: Grif: I wouldn't have any reason to ask you anything. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... I don't want that... Sheepy: Grif: Too bad. Sheepy: Grif: But a higher INT would be useful... Arsé-kun: Kay: How about we throw some of that junk we found at your brother, and then harass mr zombie raiser? Sheepy: Grif: Good idea. Sheepy: Grif: Let's go! Sheepy: *Grif heads out to see Wilbur!* Arsé-kun: *Kay, of course, follows him. But not before telling Merlin the dishes are his problem. Merlin stares at him* Sheepy: *Poor Merlin!* Sheepy: Grif: Wil. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: What do you want? *he is, as per usual, at the coffee shoppe, behind the counter* Sheepy: Grif: Can you inspect something for me? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Yeah, I guess so. I don't have anything else to do. Sheepy: *Grif dumps a bunch of paints and paintings in front of him!* Arsé-kun: Wilbur: what the fuck. Sheepy: Grif: I robbed an art museum. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: That's a way to word it. Sheepy: Grif: It's true. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: I don't care. *he says, caring aggressively* Arsé-kun: Wilbur: The paint seems normal. Don't care about that either. Sheepy: Grif: Oh. Okay. Sheepy: Grif: And the pictures? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Some of these are interesting. There's a small amount of latent magic, but more importantly is what is on them. Sheepy: Grif: Magic? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: This first one is the easiest to identify. It's Tsathoggua. Sheepy: Grif: Hmm... The artist did seem like he was, uh... Arsé-kun: Kay: Totally fucked up. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Exactly. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: I find these interesting, so I'll hold onto them for a while. ... You want something in return, don't you? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Hmm. Fine, I guess I can pay you. Sheepy: Grif: Great. Sheepy: Grif: Thank you. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Whatever. Buy somethin' or get away from the counter. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Sheepy: Grif: I like visiting you... Do I have to buy something? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: .... I'll make exception for you. Sheepy: Grif: Thanks. Arsé-kun: *Duncan is reaching his hand up to steal the paints off the counter meanwhile. he wann paint* Arsé-kun: Wilbur: ... Well, I guess we're taking those too. Sheepy: Grif: They don't smell tasty. Arsé-kun: Duncan: I dun think y'eat paint, Grif! Sheepy: Grif: But it was in with the pocket bread Dad wanted to eat. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's not paint, asshole. Sheepy: Grif: But it doesn't smell like food either. Sheepy: Grif: And yet, it's pocket bread. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, because the plastic was closed, moron, when will you learn plastic isn't edible? Sheepy: Grif:......*he tilts his head*..... Sheepy: Grif: I can eat plastic. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: You might be able to, but it ruins how other food tastes. Sheepy: Grif: I never think about taste very hard. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Your loss. Sheepy: Grif: Is pocket bread so amazing that I'm ruijing it by eating it in the shell? Arsé-kun: Duncan: Whas pocket bread? Sheepy: Grif: Bread in plastic. You put it in your pocket. Sheepy: Grif: Dad wanted it. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's a damn twinkie. Arsé-kun: Duncan: Twinkie? I thin' I heard somone call Il a twinkie once? Sheepy: Grif: Wow... He's a pocket bread man? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: This is a disaster. No to both. Sheepy: Grif: Wow. Sheepy: Grif: Grandpa defeated him once. Very cool. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: So we saw. Sheepy: Misyr: *He floats in, pouting and grumbling to himself* Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Please keep both feet on the floor in this establishment, thank you. Sheepy: Misyr: I'm a demon king! I can do what I want! *pout, pout* Sheepy: Misyr: I've been scolded and told what to do for the past hour or so. But I didn't leave in the middle becsuse demon lords have to be polite and listen to every last word. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Several inconsistencies there, but okay. Sheepy: Grif: It's true. Every final boss needs to have banter with the hero that ends in combat, but the conversation can't be interrupted for a cheap shot. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: If I was a final boss, I would absolutely snipe the hero mid-monologue. Sheepy: Grif: Awful. Awful! I would never interrupt monologues! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: As the last boss, I would employ every possible method to survive. That is one. Sheepy: Misyr: "Don't nuke things, Misyr Rex!" "It's against the rules, Misyr Rex!" "You can't just destroy the power supply, Misyr Rex!" Arsé-kun: Wilbur: You can't charge your phone without a power supply, Misyr Rex. Sheepy: Grif: Final bosses are destined to be defeated. Death is not guaranteed. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Don't want that either. Not again. Sheepy: Misyr: Haaaa? I'm plugging it into the wall, not using my magic! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: I said what I said, lord of lies. Sheepy: Grif: Buzz, buzz. Arsé-kun: Duncan: Bzz, bzzz! Sheepy: Grif: Just like Beelzebub. Sheepy: Misyr: Ah, the bee guy. Sheepy: Grif:........ Arsé-kun: Raph: *from Misyr's seat* Beelzebub is lord of the flies, not lies. That's reserved for Lucifer! Sheepy: Grif: Isn't that what was said? Sheepy: Grif:...Ah. No. He said lies, didn't he. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: I said lies. Close enough. Buy your coffee, Rex. Sheepy: Misyr: Oh, I guess I'll get a second cup! Sheepy: Misyr: After being scolded by Holmes all that time, well... Arsé-kun: Wilbur: That's rough, buddy. *he's totally deadpan* Sheepy: Grif: Maybe you shouldn't nuke the power supply. Arsé-kun: Raph: I agree. We need that. Sheepy: Misyr: Raphael... Nobody will explain this to me. Sheepy: Misyr: What is a power supply? Arsé-kun: *Raph decides to explain this in a way even Grif would understand.* Sheepy: Misyr: Ah! I understand! We don't use things like that where I rule! Arsé-kun: Raph: Mmmhm. Sheepy: Misyr: No need for such things! Arsé-kun: Raph: Then how do you charge your phone? Sheepy: Misyr: Magic, of course! I can do anything I understand! Sheepy: Misyr: So basically! I can do almost anything!!! Arsé-kun: *The World Revolving starts quietly playing from two different orbs at once. Yog is teasing Misyr a little* Sheepy: Misyr: Popular song... Sheepy: Grif: No. That's just Dad. Sheepy: Misyr: Anyway, did I mention rhat there was some weirdo egging me on? Sheepy: Misyr: Yes, him! Arsé-kun: Raph: Please don't take him seriously. He's named after drunken revelry for a reason. Sheepy: Misyr: I felt very powerful all of a sudden! It made me want to rampage! Arsé-kun: Raph: That's his thing. Sheepy: Misyr: Eh? Arsé-kun: Raph: Come over and I'll explain. Sheepy: Misyr:...... Sheepy: Misyr: Ahahahahaha! To think a demon lord such as myself would be affected that way...! Arsé-kun: Raph: Doesn't matter what you are in this case. Sheepy: Misyr: That's really scary. We should keep Il away from him. Arsé-kun: Raph: I already do. Sheepy: Misyr: Good! Sheepy: Grif: Wow. For a final boss, he's really sociable. Maybe he's actually not a final boss. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Maybe a mid-boss. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... The type you'd defeat by just befriending him... Sheepy: Misyr: Ouch... Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, let's bring this dead body to Herb. Arsé-kun: *Grif gets A Look™ from Raph for that statement* Arsé-kun: Kay: Y-yeah, let's get that over with. Sheepy: Misyr:...Wow, no subtlety at all. Sheepy: *Grif heads off to find Herb!* Arsé-kun: *You know where Herb is. Everyone knows where Herb is. He's working.* Sheepy: Grif: Herb. Sheepy: Grif: I have a dead body for you. Arsé-kun: Herb: *not looking up from his latest cadaver* Excellent! Is it human, or is it better? Sheepy: Grif: *He dumps the dancer corpse in front of Herb* Arsé-kun: Herb: ... I appreciate this, but this body actually does need to be buried. Please place this interesting find on a side table. Sheepy: *Grif shifts it to the side table* Sheepy: Grif: I see. When I find a body, I put it on the side table. Simple. Arsé-kun: Herb: Yes, thank you. Now give me a moment to close this up. Arsé-kun: *Herb does eventually finish up and move on to what Grif brought. He looks excited by it* Sheepy: Grif: Is it to your satisfaction? Arsé-kun: Herb: Yes, I will accept this. Sheepy: Grif: Great. Arsé-kun: *Grif is Paid for the body. Money is money* Sheepy: Grif: Thank you. Arsé-kun: Herb: You're welcome. Please tell your father to stop suggesting video game virus names every single time I need a name for something. Sheepy: Grif: I'll make sure to tell him. He's sitting in my dorm right now. Arsé-kun: Herb: He's outside...? And hasn't been assaulted instantly for it? That's different. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Don't tell Grandpa. Arsé-kun: Herb: I would never. Sheepy: Grif: Thank you. Arsé-kun: *Kay continues waiting outside for Grif. He ain't going in there.* Arsé-kun: Kay: How'd it go? Sheepy: Grif: I was paid. He liked it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Neat. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Now I can buy things. Arsé-kun: Kay: Neat. But do you want to? Sheepy: Grif: Now what? Do we head home? Arsé-kun: Kay: We could, or we could spend money. Sheepy: Grif: For what? Groceries? Sheepy: Grif: I could buy all sorts of new things. For example... Sheepy: Grif: Meat sticks in plastic. Arsé-kun: Kay: Armor. Weapons. New golf club. Food. Tech. Sheepy: Grif: What? There's a place that sells weapons and armor? Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck, probably. My weapon was a golf club. Sheepy: Grif: Wow.... I want to to there. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Paimon, where can I buy weapons? Arsé-kun: Yog: I can't spoil that for you. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Arsé-kun: Yog: Not everything can be learned through me. Sometimes you need to ask relevant people. Please remember that. Sheepy: Grif:....... Arsé-kun: Yog: [Shop till they Drop] will be added to your mini quest menu. Sheepy: Grif: [>You try to remember someone who might be associated with weapons. Lance's face comes to mind, right? Right?] Sheepy: Grif: I can't think of anyone. Arsé-kun: Yog: Your only hint for this step: Cool. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Must be in the freezer section... Arsé-kun: Yog: Wrong definition. Sheepy: Grif: [>Lance's face comes to mind.] Sheepy: Grif: Hmm... Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... *he's looking at the textboxes as they pop up* Sheepy: Grif:.....I'll ask Lot. He's very cool. Sheepy: Grif: [>You change your mind and decide to ask Lance.] Arsé-kun: Kay: .... You gotta learn english faster, even your popups are giving you hints. Sheepy: Grif:...? Arsé-kun: Kay: It says to ask Lance. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Dad added such a useful feature, but in a language I can't read... Arsé-kun: Yog: I haven't done anything. That wasn't me. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Lance likes weapons.... And, what? Arsé-kun: Yog: I was not giving more hints. We spoke of it being buggy already, but this is ridiculous. Sheepy: Grif: [>You disregard this and continue to believe in your father's good will.] Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Hey, whatever's causing this text bug? Grif can't read english, dumbass. Sheepy: Grif: Hmm... hmmm... that's concerning. Arsé-kun: Kay: I ain't worried. It's tryin' to help your stupid ass. Sheepy: Grif: [›.......] Arsé-kun: Yog: I also need to update the firewall to keep out eidolon additions... Sheepy: Grif: [›Parlez-vous Francias?] Arsé-kun: Kay: Is that french? I ain't know it. Sheepy: Grif: [›..........................] Arsé-kun: Kay: Just keep to english. I can read it at least. Sheepy: Grif: What is eidolon? Arsé-kun: Yog: If I define this, it will ruin me using a strange word for it to begin with. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: A dinosaur. Arsé-kun: Yog: No. Sheepy: Grif: A lizard. Arsé-kun: Yog: Still no. Not a dragon either. Sheepy: Grif: I'm out of ideas. Sheepy: Grif: [>You decide not to press further, and instead focus on completing Quest: Shop Til You Drop] Arsé-kun: Kay: And stop narrating in first person. Sheepy: Grif: [>You realize that the narration is in second person and not first person, and decide not to argue further.] Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, your narration is sassing me with grammar facts. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Sheepy: Grif: Dad got me a narrator for my early birthday. I'm so excited....... Sheepy: Grif: Hahaha...... Arsé-kun: *Grif and Kay go bother the Lancelot brothers. yippee* Arsé-kun: *... Except only one is home. Hi Lot* Sheepy: Grif: Wow... I'm suddenly feeling flustered... Sheepy: Grif: What if I say something rude or embarrassing...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Who cares? Sheepy: Grif: [>You realize that you regularly say embarrassing things and stop worrying about it in favor of the task at hand.] Arsé-kun: Yog: [>You stop narrating because Griflet cannot read your input. I am going to force shut down pop-ups.] Sheepy: Grif: [>You realize that I'm having harmless fun that is actually helpful and decide to let me continue.] Arsé-kun: Yog: [>You decide that overall this is rather silly, and let this continue only so Griflet may pick up English faster. And no other reason.] Arsé-kun: Lot: Your text boxes are fighting. Sheepy: Grif: Yes.... Sheepy: Grif: Lot, do you know where to buy weapons? Arsé-kun: Lot: I only know how Lance gets his. Most of them he bought before we came here, a few were bought online. I've heard there's somewhere to buy them, but I haven't seen it yet. Sheepy: Grif: Wow.... Arsé-kun: Lot: My apologies. Lance went to his club meeting. Sheepy: Grif: Too bad. I don't have a credit card so I can't shop online. Arsé-kun: Yog: [1/3 targets spoken to. 2 remain.] Sheepy: Grif: Wow... 1/3.... 2....2........ Sheepy: Grif: 2 must be left. Arsé-kun: Kay: Excellent deduction, mathlete. Three minus one does equal two. Sheepy: Grif: Mathlete? My name is Griflet. Sheepy: Grif: [>You, too, feel embarrassed by the fact Cai would explain this to you. You feel determined to work on your INT to prevent this from happening again.] Arsé-kun: Yog: [>You also desire to raise your WIS to prevent these mistakes.] Arsé-kun: Kay: Aaaand your stats are being insulted. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... It hurts, just a little... Arsé-kun: Yog: [>Also, his name is Kay. This is not yours.] Arsé-kun: Kay: So we gotta ask Lance eventually, and... .... Sheepy: Grif: [>Kay is just Cai but spelled differently.] Arsé-kun: Kay: .... I dunno who else. Sheepy: Grif: We'll find out when we talk to Lance. Arsé-kun: Yog: [*in french* Do not disrespect my future son-in-law please. Thanks.] Sheepy: Grif: [*in French* How is it an insult? The names sound almost exactly the same! Can't they be used interchangeably?] Arsé-kun: Yog: [*French* Jaufre, stop being difficult for five minutes. You are correct, but it's still not his name.] Arsé-kun: Kay: They swapped languages. Can't you fuckers do this privately?? Shoo, do this somewhere else! Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Arsé-kun: Yog: ... My apologies for all that. I didn't realize it was being displayed. I'll just contact Andromalius instead. Sheepy: Grif: I see. The recent bug lets you send messages using your orb to Paimon. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Maybe Wil will message me next... I feel very popular from all the messages I'm getting already.. Arsé-kun: Yog: I'll be taking this from the comment section to the dms. Carry on your questing. Sheepy: Grif: Okay. Have fun. Arsé-kun: Kay: I noticed something, but I feel like I shouldn't bring it up. Sheepy: Grif: I see. You, too, know spoilers. Arsé-kun: Kay: Only because a name got used in all that french. Sheepy: Grif: Wow.... Arsé-kun: Kay: If I had my phone, I'd just message Lance, but... Sheepy: *Grif takes out his phone and hands it to Kay* Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, fine. Sheepy: Grif: Did you want me to message him instead? Arsé-kun: Kay: I can do it. Sheepy: Grif: Wow...Make sure to tell him he's really cool. Arsé-kun: *Kay groans but does as asked* Sheepy: Grif: Thanks. Arsé-kun: *This takes a few minutes.* Sheepy: Grif: Well? How did it go? Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm.... Maybe I should save some of my money so I can eventually buy you a phone. Arsé-kun: Kay: He said he'd ask the club leader... And phones are expensive, so I don't recommend that. Sheepy: Grif: Wow. So Grandpa's gift was very valuable... Sheepy: Grif: He goes to a weapons club? Arsé-kun: Kay: No? Sheepy: Grif:...? Sheepy: Grif: Then what? Arsé-kun: Kay: It's a bunch of delinquents doing who knows what. Sheepy: Grif: Oh. Sheepy: Grif: I see, delinquents must be weapon lovers. Arsé-kun: Kay: Even if they're not, Lance is. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, he responded. Huh. Sheepy: Grif: What did he say? Arsé-kun: Kay: He says it's someone on campus. Sheepy: Grif: I see... Someone associated with weapons... Arsé-kun: Kay: .... ..... *thinking* Sheepy: Gawain: Reminds me of the drill sergeant I know! Sheepy: Gawain: He's a weapon enthusiast too. Arsé-kun: *Kay jumps like 50 feet. not really.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Where the FUCK did you come from?! Sheepy: Gawain:...Next door? Arsé-kun: Kay: I can usually hear you three hallways away, what the fuck? Sheepy: Gawain: I'm practicing my stealth! Arsé-kun: Kay: Great work then. Good lord. *kay didnt almost have a cardiac arrest. nope* Sheepy: Gawain: I'm trying to disturn people less! Arsé-kun: Kay: Disturn. Sheepy: Gawain: Disfurb! Sheepy: Gawain:...Disturb! Arsé-kun: Kay: Keep it up. You might be able to read better than Grif at this rate. Sheepy: Gawain: I can read! However! The spelling bee master of the group is...! Sheepy: Grif: Bees can spell? Arsé-kun: Lot: Here comes another mess of a conversation. Sheepy: Gawain: Tristan! Arsé-kun: Kay: Joke here. Sheepy: Gawain: He's the spelling bee master! Sheepy: Grif: I could be a spelling bee master too. Sheepy: Grif: If you slay the competition, you will always come out on top. Arsé-kun: Kay: Until you get killed. Sheepy: Grif:...... Sheepy: Grif: No one at a spelling bee could kill me. Sheepy: Grif: I'd punch their kneecaps. Arsé-kun: Kay: Now spell kneecaps. Sheepy: Grif: ..... Sheepy: Grif: Knee... is... Sheepy: Grif: N-i. And then cap is... C-a-t. Arsé-kun: Kay: You got more of it than I expected, but no. Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: It was a bad question and English is stupid. It starts with a K. Sheepy: Grif: Cap does? Arsé-kun: Kay: Knee. Sheepy: Grif:?! Sheepy: Grif: I don't hear it... Arsé-kun: Lot: K-N-E-E-C-A-P-S. The K is silent. Sheepy: Grif: Wow.... Sheepy: Grif: That's a long word. Arsé-kun: Kay: Good luck, English breaks its own rules... All the time. Sheepy: Grif: Next you'll ask me to spell meniscus. Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't even know how that's spelled. Sheepy: Grif:....... Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Sheepy: Grif: Even Kay doesn't know something... Sheepy: Grif: Maybe I'm not so dumb after all. Arsé-kun: Kay: Wasn't my int just over yours? Sheepy: Grif: Hmm... So we're both dumb... Arsé-kun: Kay: Awful. Sheepy: Grif: Dumb and dumber... Arsé-kun: Kay: Absolutely not! Sheepy: Grif: What would we be then? Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... Arsé-kun: Lot: The warrior and... um. Arsé-kun: Lot: .. I'm still not sure what class would fit Kay best. Sheepy: Grif: Warrior.... Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Sheepy: Grif: That sounds cool... Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, let's find the drill sergeant. Sheepy: Grif: He's not scary. Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't feel like gettin' bitched at. Sheepy: Grif: Hmm.... Sheepy: Grif: But... weapons... Arsé-kun: Kay: We do need them, but... Sheepy: Grif: I'll fight him if he yells at you. Arsé-kun: Kay: If you get shot, it isn't my problem. Sheepy: Grif: Don't worry. I can tank it Arsé-kun: Kay: Cause I definitely wanna see that. Sheepy: Grif: I'll consider letting yoy just get yelled at. Arsé-kun: Kay: Harsh. Sheepy: Grif:...? I don't know what else to do. Arsé-kun: Kay: Not get shot? Sheepy: *Grif drags Kay to go find Dho!* Sheepy: Grif: You. I'm looking for weapons. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Can't you see I'm busy?? Sheepy: Grif: Uh.... Sheepy: Grif: I didn't look. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: And anyway, what kind of maniac do you take me for? Sheepy: Grif: That's what people sometimes call me. How did you know? Arsé-kun: D-Ho: I'd insult you, but there are children present. Sheepy: Satoru: Really? The redhead guy looks so scruffy, but I'll believe you. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: ....... You're the child, for the last time. Sheepy: Satoru: That's what you think. Arsé-kun: Kay: [chat] GYM TEACHER IS BABYSITTING KIDS WHAT THE FUCK Arsé-kun: D-Ho: ... *to Grif, clearly* Right, what did you want, you psychopathic manchild? Sheepy: Grif: Weapons. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Fine. I'll pass information on, but don't bother me after this, goddammit. Sheepy: Grif: Fine. Arsé-kun: *D-Ho hands Grif a business card begrudgingly.* Sheepy: Grif:...... Arsé-kun: Kay: Gimme that. Sheepy: *Grif gives it to Kay* Arsé-kun: *Kay pockets it* Sheepy: Satoru: Don't tell the detective, or you'll get in trouble, Scruffy. Arsé-kun: Kay: Why would I do that? It ain't his business what the security team does. Sheepy: Satoru: A weakness in the security system might result in a crime being committed. It's his job to not only understand that weakness, but also recognize who can take advantage of it, or when it could've been taken advantage of. Arsé-kun: Kay: Cool, so why hasn't he done anything when the security was breached? Sheepy: Satoru: That's not my business. I'm 12. Arsé-kun: Kay: Then neither is any of the rest of that. Go back to math class. Sheepy: Satoru: I've already been to math class. My grandpa teaches it. Sheepy: Satoru: Speaking of which, you must go to it too, so don't get a bad grade, or I'll find out, okay? Arsé-kun: Kay: I've got one of the top grades in my class. *he's proud of this* I do taxes for one of the teachers sometimes, I think I'm okay. Sheepy: Satoru: Wow. You're really smart. I have a prize for you for being such a good student. Sheepy: Satoru: *He holds out a praying mantis to Kay* It's for you. Arsé-kun: Kay: I am... Not touching that. Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, don't even think about it. Arsé-kun: *D-Ho having a smoke in the background* Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif:........Looks tasty.... Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. I'll find another bug for you. I saw a centipede earlier. Do you want that? Sheepy: Grif:....Centipedes are tasty, too. Sheepy: Satoru: Well, I guess that the centipede is probably gone now. If you don't take my friend, I'll just give you a different bug the next time I see you, okay? Arsé-kun: Kay: I think I'd rather something different. The cat would try to fuck with that and so would the wizard. Sheepy: Satoru: Bugs make me happy. You look like you need a bug, Scruffy. Sheepy: Satoru: I'll find another one for you and give it to you the next time we meet. Okay? Make sure to tell me about your accomplishments again so I can give you more prize bugs. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... I found an achievements NPC... Sheepy: Satoru: By the way, the bug of the week is praying mantis, so if you come back next week, you might get a different bug, okay? I like click beetles. I could give you one next time. Sheepy: Satoru: By the way, the detective should be at my uncle's club, so for now you're safe. Arsé-kun: Kay: Good to know, you funky little information gatherer. Sheepy: Satoru: Thanks. I didn't give you any information if you get caught and questioned. Okay? Arsé-kun: Kay: Who are you again? Have we met? Sheepy: Satoru: I've never seen you before. Arsé-kun: Kay: Right on. Arsé-kun: *We briefly pause this narrative to point out the little gold-wearing snowman that's just standing there. Menacingly. Staring at them with a bag bigger than he is.* Sheepy: Satoru: Look, look, Scruffy, it's Snowball. He's my friend. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... That's a big bag. Arsé-kun: snowman: Yeah it is, ho! Whatcha buyin'? You gots monhee, right? Sheepy: Grif: Its mouth is a void... Sheepy: Grif:...Oh, yes, I have money. Sheepy: Grif: …? Sheepy: Grif: I don’t know any ranged users… Arsé-kun: snowman: Makes my life heeasier! *and he tosses most of the guns back in the bag* Sheepy: Grif: I use swords. Arsé-kun: snowman: You do you, ho! *he holds out a bunch of swords in scabbards. it's only a few, but sword big compared to snowman arm* Sheepy: Grif: *he chooses one of them and looks it over* Arsé-kun: *it's a sword* Sheepy: Grif: This one looks good. Arsé-kun: snowman: Gimme a twenty and I'll call it heeven! Sheepy: *Grif gives the snowman a twenty!* Sheepy: Grif: Thank you. Arsé-kun: snowman: Yeah, yeah! Does ya team nheed anythin'? Sheepy: Grif: Kay, do you need anything? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah. I fucked my golf club up, remember? Sheepy: Grif: Okay, choose what you want. Arsé-kun: Kay: uh Sheepy: Grif: I don't have an eye for golf clubs. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, if it's your weapon, it's best to choose the one that stands out to you. Arsé-kun: *Kay sighs and looks over the swords before taking a rusty red one. Of course. He hands over a twenty before he's asked. The snowman looks pleased* Sheepy: Grif: [>Displaying weapon stats...] Arsé-kun: *two popups... pop up, displaying the stats of the new weapons* Arsé-kun: snowman: Pleasah doin' business with ya! Now fuck off! Sheepy: Satoru: Snowball, if you say bad words, Mom will get mad at you. Arsé-kun: snowman: Your mother can't say shit! I'm swingin' weapons around and that's her problem? Re-evaluhate priorithees! Sheepy: Satoru: You should try to be like a bug. Bugs are strong in their own way, even if they're small or unable to do harm. They help people. Without bugs, we wouldn't be here. So be a bug, Scruffy. Okay? Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Are you telling people to be noisy pissy bugs? Again? Sheepy: Satoru: Uhuh. Do you wanna be a bug? Arsé-kun: D-Ho: I think I'd rather die. Sheepy: Satoru: It's okay, Snowball. I think you're great just the way you are, even if you aren't a bug. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... the weapons stat screen is useful. Sheepy: Grif: If we use that the next time we buy weapons, we can compare the stats to the price and decide if it's a worthwhile investment. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sure. Arsé-kun: *Kay is doing mental gymnastics trying to figure out how both the tiny snowman and the shitty gym teacher are both called "Snowball" by a kid.* Sheepy: Satoru: Yes. I named him after Uncle Snowball because they're both grumpy. Arsé-kun: Kay: oh. Darn. I thought I was onto something. Sheepy: Satoru: If you're really grumpy, you can be Snowball too. Okay? Arsé-kun: Kay: No thanks. Sheepy: Satoru: It's okay. Scruffy fits you better. Arsé-kun: Yog: I can't believe this. I believe the term is "LMAO GGEZ NORE GET REKT". *he does not explain this input whatsoever* Sheepy: Grif: I understood one of the words in that sentence. Arsé-kun: Yog: That wasn't to you. Don't worry about it. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Arsé-kun: *Kay squinting* Sheepy: Satoru: Hi. Sheepy: Satoru: He's a family friend. I like him. He likes fist fighting my dad. Arsé-kun: Yog: [>WHAT.] Sheepy: Grif:......? Arsé-kun: Yog: I was not even slightly prepared for those words in that order. Sheepy: Grif: I can't believe Uncle has a friend. Sheepy: Satoru: I'm Satoru. What's your name? Arsé-kun: Yog: Even if I give you my name, it isn't going to be used. Instead, this orb is named Paimon. Sheepy: Satoru: I know that show. Pikablu is one of those. I like him. He's soft. Sheepy: Satoru: The detective gave me one because he said, "All kids like this character". Arsé-kun: *Kay is carefully examining his new sword in the background* Arsé-kun: Yog: He's right. Sheepy: Satoru: You're Pikablu now, okay? He's my favorite Paimon because there's no rhinos nor bugs. I asked the detective and he said so. Arsé-kun: Yog: I accept it. But there are plenty of bugs in that series. Sheepy: Satoru: Really? Arsé-kun: Yog: At least ten. Sheepy: Satoru: Is there a rhino? Arsé-kun: Yog: ... Yes. Sheepy: Satoru: I want to see Rhinoblu. Sheepy: Satoru: And Bugblu. Arsé-kun: Yog: This is called a Rhyhorn. *an image of a rhyhorn is projected* Sheepy: Satoru: Oh... it's so cute... Sheepy: Satoru: It's so pointy. Sheepy: Satoru: He's even cuter than Pikablu. Sheepy: Satoru: Thank you for showing me Rhyhorn. Arsé-kun: Yog: Quite welcome. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Dad made a friend. Arsé-kun: Yog: You say that as if it isn't a regular occurance. Sheepy: Grif: Is it a regular occurrence? Arsé-kun: *Yog opts to not answer this* Sheepy: Grif: I see... Arsé-kun: Lance: *distantly* ---And the substitute doll is also based on the gen one monster sprite. Anyway, are we there yet? Sheepy: Clover: *distantly* Very close. I can feel it. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: You're too late! The little shit already ran off! Sheepy: Clover: How unfortunate. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: If you're lucky, it'll come back. Sheepy: Guin: Please avoid profanity around children. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: A little shit swings weapons around, as he said, and that's the issue? Sheepy: Guin: Well... Sheepy: Guin:.... Sheepy: Clover: It's fine. It's to be expected. Arsé-kun: *Lance spots swords* Sheepy: Satoru: Hi. It's good to see you made friends. You looked mopey and lonely before. Sheepy: Satoru: Are you interested in the swords? If you wish really hard, Snowball will appear to curse at you and sell you weapons. Arsé-kun: snowman: Here ye, here hee! More of you motherfuckers? I'm popular today, ho! Make mhee a mascot, hee-ho! Sheepy: Satoru: I believe in you. You'll be a very good mascot. Arsé-kun: *The snowman whips out the bag a second time.* Arsé-kun: Lance: (*0*) Sheepy: Satoru: Make sure to thank him after you make a purchase, okay? Arsé-kun: snowman: Don't care! Buy or I commit sudoku! Sheepy: Guin: Don't repeat the things he says, okay, Satoru? Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: Kay: [chat] Im still holdin grifs phone but there is a snowman here thats not even up to my knee. i wanna bully it Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] If you bully everyone shorter than you, you'll be bullying many people. Arsé-kun: Kay: [chat] Important announcement; Lance is buying another sword. I'm gonna take his wallet and run/ Arsé-kun: Kay: [chat] Typing on this phone sucks massiv balls lmao and ok I aint doin that. id die instantly Arsé-kun: *Lance is inspecting all the weapons. all of them. its christmas and he is a ten year old that got a playstation* Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] lol I'd rather strike people's vitals with a well aimed hit than use weapons, it's more suave Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] By the way, isn't dealing weapons illegal? Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] Shouldn't you report that to the detective? Arsé-kun: Kay: [chat] I already said I wouldn't. You can, but whats he gonna do? Lock him in the freezer? Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] I see... Not much can be done about a snowman. Arsé-kun: Kay: [chat] Anyway I got a new weapon too. Cause I fucked up the golf club. r i p golf club Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] I watched a horror movie about a killer snowman who was possessed by a spirit once. it killed people with an icicle and collevted parts from them to become a real boy Arsé-kun: Artair: [chat] ....Which movie was that? That isn't a Jack Frost movie... Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] sharp chill. it's laughably bad Arsé-kun: Artair: [chat] Show me please. It sounds awful. Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] I will, I want to watch it again with colder temperatures nearing Arsé-kun: Kay: [chat] How bad? I might even get on this watch party if it's dumb enough. Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] super bad, the writing is awful but it takes itself seriously Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] speaking of bad movies I saw an awful one recently that had a mummy in it Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] the mummy is... spoilers, the mummy is... a time traveling alien that rots everything it touches Arsé-kun: Artair: [chat] I want to watch Plan 9 again. Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] let's watch that too Arsé-kun: Kay: [chat] Let's do that tomorrow. Artair's gonna need to be watched anyway and if any of you fuckers think I remember dental care procedures, fuck off Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] Oh, a wisdom teeth extraction? Arsé-kun: Artair: [chat] Yes. Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] Sleeping is a good idea. Arsé-kun: Artair: [chat] That I do know. Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] a perfect butler in training like me would never need a wosdom tooth extraction lol Arsé-kun: Kay: [chat] Says the guy living in a hospital Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] details Sheepy: *in the bg, Guin is fretting that Lance may be spending way too much* Arsé-kun: *He is.* Sheepy: Aru: [chat] I want to come, too! Have I introduced you to Arthur, Artair? Or shown you Caliburn? I can bring them too!! Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] not sure how watsom would feel about someone bringing a sword into the hospital lol Arsé-kun: Artair: [chat] I was present when he was introduced, but I do not mind his presence as much as Arturia does. Sheepy: Aru: [chat] But Caliburn has a habit of shocking people other than me, so be careful! Arsé-kun: Lot: [chat] Don't let other people handle it. Sheepy: Aru: [chat] I won't let anyone handle it! Sheepy: Aru: [chat] Caliburn is really shy! Arsé-kun: Kay: [chat] oh yeah! Aru, I got a sword now. I'm gonna come kick your butt Sheepy: Aru: [chat] I'd like to see you try!! Arsé-kun: Kay: [chat] Winner faces Lance Sheepy: Aru: [chat] Huh? Does Lance want to join? Okay! Sheepy: Aru: [chat] You don't plan to use real swords, right? Arsé-kun: Kay: [chat] uh Sheepy: Aru: [chat] It's dangerous to use a real sword if you don't know what you're doing! Arsé-kun: Kay: [chat] Then teach me dammit Sheepy: Aru: [chat] Teach you? Arsé-kun: Kay: [chat] actually. you and lance should go at it and ill take notes. winner fights grif. or maybe dont do that Sheepy: Aru: [chat] I don't think that's safe... Grif seems really strong... Sheepy: Aru: [chat] That sounds bad! Arsé-kun: *Lance is, in fact, challenging Grif to a sparring match. Or trying to.* Sheepy: Grif: [>You sense a strong presence... Continue, Lance?] Arsé-kun: Lance: ?? Arsé-kun: *Kay taps "Yes" for him. heck you* Sheepy: Grif: Fine. I'll fight you. Arsé-kun: *Lance has already accepted his loss but squares up anyway. For fun* Sheepy: Guin: Make sure to stop when you're tiring out so you don't get hurt. Arsé-kun: Lance: Of course. Arsé-kun: Kay: [chat] Too late. Already started. Sheepy: Aru: [chat] Oh well. Arsé-kun: *We don't need to cover this. Lance lost. He still learned from it and wasn't dismembered. Grif and Lance gain xp.* Sheepy: Grif: Wow. Good job. You did well. Arsé-kun: Lance: So... So did you. *huff, huff* Worth it. Arsé-kun: *Kay tried to learn something. +2 xp.* Sheepy: Grif: Thanks. Sheepy: Aru: [chat] Just remembered, @Kay ! Arturia usually carries a training sword on her, right? Maybe she'll let us borrow two. Maybe Arthur can help too. Sheepy: Aru: [chat] I'm not amazing with a sword but I'll do my best!! Arsé-kun: Artair: [chat] I would help if I were available. Sheepy: Aru: [chat] You can join another time! Arsé-kun: Artair: [chat] @Arturia, Aru would like to borrow some practice swords. Sheepy: Arturia: [chat] Go ahead. I won't need them for now. Sheepy: Arturia: [chat] But I won't show Kay any mercy if we spar. I'll already be at a disadvantage with how many excuses he can come up with as to why he didn't lose. Arsé-kun: Kay: [chat] I didn't lose because I need positive reinforcement Sheepy: Aru: [chat] You lose on the training grounds so you don't lose om the battle field! Sheepy: Aru: [chat] Losing is totally normal! The most important thing is not to win, but to learn how to properly handle loss and learn from it. Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] that's what a loser would sat LOL Arsé-kun: Kay: [chat] I'd kick your ass sickboy Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] i'd like to see you try. I'd pass out on you Arsé-kun: Kay: [chat] That would mean I'd win Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] not without looking like a bad guy Arsé-kun: Kay: [chat] I'm an asshole. That ain't knew. Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] if i win you lose to a sick guy. if i lose you beat up a sick guy. there is no win here for you Arsé-kun: Kay: [chat] challenge accepted. i AM an asshole and I already look awful Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] i'll bleed on you don't try me Arsé-kun: Kay: [chat] ............. Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] okita jabbed me in the wrong spot the other day and hit something he shouldn't have Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] but don't worry, this time the bleeding was only internally Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] just where it should be! Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] so I saod but apparently it was a "big problem" and "I shouldn't mess around with something like that" Arsé-kun: Lot: [chat] You really shouldn't. Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] it's my bloodand I can do with it as I please Arsé-kun: Lot: [chat] Then please keep it out of this conversation Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] well, he did say he was going to fight me Arsé-kun: Kay: [chat] I'm not gonna be killing you! Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] would it be better if i didn't warn him? Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] and that's what you think but if you hit the wrong spot you kay find otherwise Arsé-kun: *Kay nearly walks into a pole. pay attention idiot* Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] but don't worry because i'll havr recuperated by tomorrow Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] and by the way by "the pther day" i mean today Arsé-kun: Lot: [chat] gdi lucan. This is why you can't leave. Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] now hey how could i have ever known that he would actually hit me with his real sword Arsé-kun: Lot: [chat] Because he almost always has it and threatens to hit people with his very real sword? How is he allowed to have that? Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] how is your brpther allowed to have his weapons Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] how is aru allowed fo have a taser swors Arsé-kun: Lot: [chat] Lance doesn't live in a hospital Sheepy: Aru: [chat] I pulled it from a stone! Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] How am I allowed to habe these guns Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] flex flex fingerguns Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] :fingergun: :fingergun: Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] "where do you go to work out, merlin" "the library" Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] Catch me with a stack of books! Call that the leaning tower of Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] I dont have an end to that joke. Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] could've been the learning tower of pisa Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] thanks Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] you're welcome Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] I suddenly have an Art Idea that jas Nothing to do with this and I need to accomplish it before i lose it adios fuckbois Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] see you later, in your dreams... That is a threat, and a promise. Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] yeah ok Arsé-kun: *Kay and Grif eventually get home. Grif gets his phone back* Arsé-kun: Kay: Aru, we're back! Sheepy: Aru: Oh, you're back! *She rushes over* Arsé-kun: Kay: Ain't that what I just said? *aru gets her hair rustled* Sheepy: Arturia: So! You've finally arrived! I was expecting you to run away with your tail between your legs! Arsé-kun: Kay: This is my house! Of course I'm gonna show up eventually! Sheepy: Arturia:....J-just ignore that part! Arsé-kun: Kay: No way, edgelord. *he plops his new sword on the table, and then looks at Arturia expectantly* Gimme the shitty practice sword. Sheepy: Aru: Is that your new sword? It's neat! Arsé-kun: Kay: Sure is. Sheepy: Arturia: Think fast! *She tosses the practice sword to Kay* Arsé-kun: *Kay manages to catch it with both hands before shooting Arturia a dirty look* Arsé-kun: Kay: If that broke anything I'd have obliterated you! Sheepy: Arturia: An enemy won't always warn you of their attack, you know! You need to keep your eyes and ears open for such things! Arsé-kun: Kay: Most enemies won't be throwing shit in my house! Sheepy: Arturia: That's what makes me special. Arsé-kun: Kay: And if you break my tv, I get to throw you out a window. Sheepy: Arturia: My bones are more expensive than a TV. Arsé-kun: Kay: Naaah. I have another sister. I don't have another tv. Sheepy: Arturia: Well...! Sheepy: Arturia: You know one isn't the same as the next, right?! Arsé-kun: Kay: What, you don't know any "Not Eating Shit" magic? Are you actually worse than Merlin? Sheepy: Arturia: Eh, it's just... Sheepy: Arturia: Hmhmhm, you aren't ready to see me use such things! Come back in another lifetime! Sheepy: Aru: Her magic is focused around enhancing her sword, but when she uses it, it tends to launch her across the room. Arsé-kun: Kay: She's got that over me, I guess. Sheepy: Arturia: It's not true! Arsé-kun: Kay: Ah, shattap. *he strides towards Arturia* Shut it, you little gremlin gargoyle lookin' shit. Sheepy: Arturia: I'm not little! Arsé-kun: Kay: Take this. *he goes to shove her onto the main part of the sofa* Sheepy: Arturia: That's my perch! Arsé-kun: Kay: At least I announced my intention to attack. Sheepy: Arturia: As did I! Arsé-kun: Kay: And I could fight you like this, but you'd surely die. Sheepy: Arturia: Hmhmhm... You doubt my skill with a sword! There are few I know who could beat me! Arsé-kun: *Kay pokes her with the practice sword* Arsé-kun: Kay: You are already dead. Sheepy: Arturia: Well, you wouldn't stab me for real! Would you? Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, you can't win if you're dead. You're dead. I've already won. *smug* Sheepy: Arturia: That isn't true! Arsé-kun: Kay: Then actually fight me. Sheepy: Arturia: I'll do that, but don't expect to win! Arsé-kun: Kay: You already lost once. What's the worst that can happen? Sheepy: Aru: Oh, you're fighting her? Okay! She's great with the sword, so she's a better choice for teaching you how to use one. It's really important how you hold it, you know! It all starts there! So don't rush in to it too quickly. Arsé-kun: *Kay tries to copy a Grif Stance but it feels... Wrong. He gives up quickly* Sheepy: Aru: Ummm... Well, it is a first try. Arsé-kun: Kay: Ain't got many role models! Sheepy: *Aru comes over and starts instructing him how to hold it!* Arsé-kun: *This is Far More Helpful!* Sheepy: Aru: By the way, stance is really important too. There's a lot of different stances you can take... and different ways to wield a sword. But let's start with something simple! Arsé-kun: *Arthur is watching from a distance. He's clearly interested, but..* Sheepy: Aru: You can join too, Arthur! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I would prefer not to. I may cause damage. Sheepy: Aru: Okay! Let's work hard to achieve you being able to hold things easily so you can join eventually! Arsé-kun: Arthur: The only thing I know I can certainly hold.. Is Caliburn. .. Not that I have tried. Arsé-kun: *He has definitely tried. He is a worse liar than Aru.* Sheepy: Aru: Okay! I'll help you, then! Sheepy: Arturia: Did you get tazed, too? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Why would I? It is my sword. Sheepy: Arturia: Because you're dead and it has a new owner. Does a previous owner never stop being accepted by it? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I don't see why one would be. Sheepy: Aru: I don't think ghosts can be tazed anyway. Arsé-kun: *Arthur takes Caliburn from Aru and easily settles into a defensive stance, facing Arturia.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Shall we find out? Sheepy: Aru: Well, you came out of it, so if it didn't like you, it would've just tazed you the whole time, right? Sheepy: *Arturia seems unsure about this.* Sheepy: Arturia: Part of using a sword is recognizing when your opponent is leagues stronger than you and you have a losing situation on your hands, isn't it? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Fine. I will compromise. *he switches Caliburn to his left hand, and puts his right hand behind his back* Sheepy: Arturia: *mumbling* If I lose badly in front of him, I'll never recover from that... I'd be an embarrassment for life... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Losing is an acceptable part of learning, is it not? Sheepy: Arturia:...! Sheepy: Arturia: *She readies herself* I'll do my best! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I'd like to see it. Sheepy: Arturia: Of course! Sheepy: Aru: I believe in both of you! Arsé-kun: *They spar! While Arthur is taking it easy on her, he's clearly out of practice, and not used to modern fighting. He eventually concedes.* Sheepy: Arturia: *huff, huff* Ah... Thank goodness, I didn't embarrass myself! Arsé-kun: Arthur: You certainly didn't. Good work. Sheepy: Arturia: I was worried this was going to be like the time I faced off with Aru! Sheepy: Arturia:...! Thank you! Arsé-kun: Arthur: You are quite welcome. Continue training and I may have to use my dominant hand. Arsé-kun: *Arthur goes to sheathe Caliburn, and realizes he doesn't have the scabbard a moment later. Habits die hard* Arsé-kun: *.. harder than he died too LMAO AIRHORN AIRHORN* Sheepy: Aru: Oh. It's right here! Arsé-kun: Arthur: That helps greatly. *Caliburn is twirled and sheathed. for funsies* Sheepy: Arturia: Your dominant hand... Scary thought. Sheepy: Aru:...! *She found that very cool! Her face is beaming!* Arsé-kun: *Even Merlin peeked out to watch! Cool!* Sheepy: Aru: Did you do that after every fight you won? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Hm? That? Certainly not. That'd be seen as rude. Sheepy: Aru: Wow! So you were being rude! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Only if I'd have won. Sheepy: Aru: So it's okay to do it if you lose? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I see no reason why to not do it in that case. Sheepy: Aru: I understand! Sheepy: Aru: You're almost as cool as Kay when you do that! Arsé-kun: Kay: what. Sheepy: Arturia: You can't just say that to people, Aru. You'll make them feel bad. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That's a sentence I've never heard before. I'll accept it this time. Sheepy: Aru: You didn't think Cai was cool? Arsé-kun: Arthur: The words I want to use are not very proper. Sheepy: Aru:...? Ars��-kun: Kay: He's callin' Cai a pussyass bitch. Sheepy: Aru: Wow... He must not have been very reliable then. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Well, no, but that's closer than I'd like to admit. Sheepy: Aru: Hmmm... So this is who Beddy was closest to... Sheepy: Aru: He speaks such glowing words about him, I never knew... Arsé-kun: Arthur: I can insult my elder brother if I so want to. That seems to be acceptable now. Sheepy: Arturia: It's completely acceptable! They always deserve it! Arsé-kun: Kay: Lucky Aru's so nice, or she'd destroy you too. Sheepy: Arturia: She already has before! Arsé-kun: Kay: She insulted you? How? I wanna know. Sheepy: Arturia: "Please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not very good with a sword!" Sheepy: Arturia:...Before mowing me down! Arsé-kun: Kay: That's tragic. Sheepy: Arturia: "You did really well! I'm sure you'll win next time if you try!" Sheepy: Aru: I didn't know you were trying... Arsé-kun: Kay: Ouch Sheepy: Arturia: Can you imagine a more painful insult? Arsé-kun: Kay: Getting T-bagged and told to git gud. Sheepy: Arturia: Really? I doubt that. Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay. Git gud. Sheepy: Arturia: You git gud! Arsé-kun: Kay: Already on it, tiny commander. Sheepy: Aru: It's okay! I'm sure you'll be great once you learn, Kay! But it's okay if you're bad at first. That's the first step of learning - pinpointing your weaknesses! Sheepy: Aru: Overconfidence and easy wins mask your weaknesses from you, which can result in them surfacing at the worst time. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, that's easy. I don't know shit and I got problems. Sheepy: Aru: That's okay! We can work on that! Arsé-kun: Fou: *headbutting Aru, hello, accept my scent* Sheepy: Aru: *she pets Fou* Sheepy: Aru: That's not something that can be fixed instantly, but if we work on it, it can be! Arsé-kun: Kay: And how do you suggest we do that, huh? Sheepy: Aru: Ummm.... Sheepy: Aru: Well, what kind of person do you want to be? Arsé-kun: Kay: Not this one. Gimme a less stupid question. Sheepy: Aru: It's not a stupid question! I mean... if you have some kind of goal in your mind, you can pursue it, right? Like, "I want to be a kinder person", so you work to become kinder. Sheepy: Aru: If you have someone you view as a rolemodel, that can help you figure out what traits you want to work on, too! Arsé-kun: Kay: I wanna stop being a useless pussy-ass bitch. Here's my years of progress. Arsé-kun: *Kay does nothing* Arsé-kun: Kay: This is where I'd show my progress. If I fuckin' had any! Sheepy: Aru: ....? Sheepy: Aru: So you've always been so dependable... Arsé-kun: Kay: Are you incapable of seeing flaws, or just an ignorant lil' shit? Sheepy: Aru: I can see flaws. It's important to pinpoint weaknesses in others so you can create an environment where they can live up to their best potential. Sheepy: Aru: I'm still working on it, though, so don't be disappointed when I don't notice them! Sheepy: Aru: Anyway, it seems like your weakness is... You dismiss all your progress as miniscule or worthless so you feel as though you're not improving. Arsé-kun: Kay: I ain't you. I know I've improved a little lately, but that's about it. Sheepy: Aru: But you're out doing new things you've never done before. What were you doing before now? Arsé-kun: Kay: Like, today? Yesterday? ... I don't wanna talk about yesterday. Sheepy: Aru: Too soon! Not then! Sheepy: Aru: A month or two ago. Even a year ago. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuckin' jack shit. Sheepy: Aru: See! You've improved! Sheepy: Aru: I'm working really hard to be like my rolemodels! Arsé-kun: Kay: You'll have better progress. Sheepy: Aru: It's hard to really know how to help... I'm not sure if I should just cheer you on, or actively try to assist you... Sheepy: Aru: *mumbling* What would Teacher do to help...? Hmm.. Hmmmm... There's not much I can do here, is there... Arsé-kun: Arthur: I would not know what he would suggest, but my recommendation is doing research. Sheepy: Aru: Oh! Great idea! Sheepy: Aru: You're really smart, Arthur! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Thank you. Sheepy: Aru: It's fitting, because this is a college! Arsé-kun: Kay: *cracking open a beer* All right, enough outta you two. It's past your bedtimes. Sheepy: Aru: Oh, I am starting to feel tired.. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, wonder why. Sheepy: Arturia: I'm not a kid! Arsé-kun: Kay: You are to me! Shoo, go home. It's past midnight, you lil gremlin. Sheepy: Arturia: Why didn't you say so?! Artair might get worried! Arsé-kun: Kay: I wasn't goddamn lookin'! I was watching you chucklefucks! Sheepy: Arturia: Anyway, I'm heading home! Arsé-kun: Kay: I'll see you tomorrow! Unfortunately! Sheepy: Arturia: Yeah, unfortunately! Sheepy: Arturia: Anyway, I'm going now! Don't get hungover before Artair's surgery. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'll think about it. Sheepy: *Arturia heads out* Sheepy: Aru: I'm going to bed now! Good night, Kay! Arsé-kun: Kay: Night. *he heads into his own room* Sheepy: Grif: Good night, Kay. Sheepy: Grif: Unfortunate that Merlin and Bedi have already gone to bed presumably, so we can't wish them a good night, too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Eh? *he popped out to also say good night* He's not out here with you guys? Sheepy: Grif: No. Of course not. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ?! Sheepy: Grif: At this time he would be with you. Why would he be with us? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Because it made the most sense? Sheepy: Grif: I disagree. Sheepy: Grif: Hm... but where is he? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I don't know.. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe try texting him. Arsé-kun: Merlin: [text: to Bedi] Babe??? Where r u??? Sheepy: *There's a long pause before it's read.* Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Merlin] wouldn'f YOU like to know Arsé-kun: Merlin: ?!?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: [text: to Bedi] DONT MAKE ME COME OVER THERE Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Merlin] hint: some place you've never beem before Arsé-kun: Merlin: [text: to Bedi] That doesn't help! Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Merlin] i suppose that WOULD include all yhe club rooms, wouldn'r it Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Merlin] eell, because you're apparently my boyfriend, i guess i can give you a better hint. Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Merlin] are you ready? Arsé-kun: Merlin: [text: to Bedi] I guess so. Sheepy: *Merlin receives a selfy from Bedi's end! ...Of Nyarlathotep, not Bedi* Arsé-kun: Merlin: [text: to Bedi] If you did something im calling my grandparents Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Merlin] ooooo i'm SO SCARED. Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Merlin] all you people immediately assjme i'm bad ddspite everything i do for you!! and then i kidnao ONE collegd studeng and you're like OH NYAR!! DON'T DO THAT!! I'M CALLING MY PARENTS!! Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Merlin] anyway "babe" i saw the phone sitting on the table anf picked it up bdfore anyobe stole it. i fully intend to return if! maybe i'm helpinf!!! have you ever considered that. Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Merlin] think aboht it. every single day i clean up after you people. every single day i tolerate wayching you people LITTER and THROW THINGS INTO THE WRONG BIN. now, there are a few exveptiond. for example, i saw s guy with twin tails standing between recycle and trash, thinking hard on whivh his objecy wluld go into. now that's whst i want to see!!! Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Merlin] btw yout boyfriend's passcode iz way too easy to crack. "fhe birthday of my boyfriend" shouls NOT be your passcode. how do i know iy's your biryhday, "babe"? don't question it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: [text: to Bedi] Bruh relax I said IF Arsé-kun: Merlin: [text: to Bedi] But just plz tell me where yall are so I can collect him and his stuff Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Merlin] now hold on a moment, why zhould i tell you a thing Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Merlin] this is MY favor to belvedere because unlike SOME people he doesn't litter wnd he recycles properlu Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Merlin] but becayse you're so desperate i'll givd you a hint Arsé-kun: Merlin: [text: to Bedi] Yes please! Sheepy: *Merlin receives a picture of Bedi. He has his face on the table, with an open book in fromt of him. There's a pile of books and an open notebook with a pencil off to his side.* Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Merlin] hint: it's a place you've probably never stepped foot in Arsé-kun: Merlin: [text: to Bedi] You're right! I really don't go there. I'll come get him outta the way for you in a minute Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Merlin] good because i need to clean. Arsé-kun: *It takes Merlin an extra try or two, but he eventually manages to land a teleport in front of the Lovecraft Library. great name. very subtle* Sheepy: *Good job, Merlin!* Arsé-kun: *Merlin heads inside. He's still a bit wary.* Sheepy: *There's a strange... creature, standing near a table. It's using its many tentacle-like appendages to clean multiple surfaces at once. Useful!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Dang. Now that's efficient. Arsé-kun: *but priorities are priorities, so he goes to clean up Bedi's stuff* Sheepy: *Bedi's fast asleep. It seems like Nyar tidied up his things to make it easier to pick up, including putting the phone on top of the notebook. How kind!* Sheepy: *The books range between "Types of Cats and their Behaviors" to "Mystical Creatures: An Introduction to Rarely Seen Animals!"* Arsé-kun: *Merlin packs everything away and puts Bedi's bag on, before considering Bedi with a soft smile. After a moment of deliberating, he Very Carefully picks up Bedi and teleports back to the dorms. Nyar is now free to clean* Sheepy: *Bedi doesn't react at all! He just mumbles something incomprehensible in his sleep.* Sheepy: Grif: You returned. Do I have to punish my uncle? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nope. He was being helpful that time. Sheepy: Grif: Amazing... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Either he did somethin' already, or he just really wanted to clean. Both? Sheepy: Grif: Concerning thought. Sheepy: Grif: Night time seems like it should be the best opportunity for him due to the lack of lights. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'll check Bedi over n' call it a night. I'll come out here if I find anythin'. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Good idea. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Best opportunity to clean up with ten limbs, lmao. Sheepy: Grif: Wow...He did that? Arsé-kun: Merlin: At least ten. Didn't count. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, night for real this time. Sheepy: Grif: Good night. Arsé-kun: *Merlin goes back to his room with Bedi. Merlin doesn't come back out, thankfully, meaning Bedi was untouched by awful alien nonsense.*

#c.au #9

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