#had a full on breakdown the other night but it was in my room and i was quiet abt it so!! im a good roommate

[bluejaybytes]

@snowshinobi Hiiiii :3 I'm responding to your tags on a new post and not the original since the original was already somewhat lengthy, and I plan on being LONG and RAMBLY, but I have sooo many thoughts on what you said and I'm going to say them. Also my browser crashed TWICE (TWO TIMES. 2) when trying to write this post so I'm really fighting for my life out here to get my silly little OC posts done. Also it's under the cut because it's looooong as hell LMAO

Firstly, you're so nice to me forever <3 Secondly, I think you've basically hit the nail on the head. The majority of the issues Maggie has coming back from death and her 9 years gone are really tied almost exclusively to her close family, because she... never really had anyone else. While in-universe it's only 9 years, realistically the jump in technology and culture is around ~20-30 years (Maggie died in the 90s/early 2000s essentially, and wakes up in a just barely futuristic city), but... the most jarring thing to her in terms of what she missed out on is just. Flipphones are no longer popular. Other than her family, she's only close with one other person... who just so happens to be a ghost, and therefore both 1. Wouldn't change much over the timespan due to how long she's been a ghost and 2. Unlike her family, was aware that something happened, since she could see the ghost-of-a-ghost Maggie left behind (The ghosts name is Opal, she positions herself as a sort of "guardian angel" figure, though she's not actually, and serves as just another parental figure for Maggie while also getting after the ghosts that constantly harass her to pass on messages to the living). Maggie has no real relationships outside of her family, and while her relationships with her family are massively impacted by her unknowing death, other than that... the timeskip itself doesn't weigh on her because she had no one regardless. Her struggle to adjust to everything thats happened would've happened regardless of the timeskip for her, because she was such an isolated shut-in that it's the same whether it happened the next day, or nearly a full decade later

So another very interesting thing is that you've actually completely seen where I was going with everything, in spite of everything I said being very surface level and not actually delving into the plot at all. I completely skimmed over Jenna (She's very important to the plot, but she's by in large a regular person as opposed to Maggie's... everything), but for some additional context, Jenna has a horrendously shitty homelife, so her moving in with Maggie is both a gradual process (It goes from spending time there, to spending nights, to eventually just never going back home and moving in fully), and also serves as an escape for her. Part of that is also, so vitally, the food aspect. For some additional additional context, souls essentially serve as a persons lifeforce, practically every bodily function is improved by a soul that's stronger, though the "strength" of a soul is essentially entirely random, and not dependent on the individuals actions of any kind. Maggie had a generally weird soul before (Seeing ghosts inherently means she has to have something going on with her soul), but when she wakes up after her death, her soul is now even weirder, and part of that is that it essentially lets her get away with bad habits she absolutely should be seeing more consequences for. She barely eats, and when she does, it's basically exclusively crackers and whatever other safe foods she has around the house, because actually making food is a level of care and effort she just... doesn't give to herself in the slightest. Part of Jenna staying with her is that Jenna, without really discussing it, entirely takes up the mantle of caretaker of the apartment, with the biggest task being food prep, Jenna sees Maggie's unwillingness to take care of herself and silently steps up and starts making her actual meals so she's eating properly.

The problem is is that this also kinda... just straight up sucks? Jenna doesn't think much of it, it's something that needed to be done so she's doing it, she wants Maggie to be well fed even if she won't do it herself, and she's already been responsible for making all of her own meals for years prior anyways, so it's just another thing she does. Except that's shitty! Maggie's seen firsthand how terrible her homelife is, and it really weighs on her how even in her escape from that, Jenna's still being put in a position where she feels like she must care for her or else she just won't eat properly. So food is such a massively important thing to both of them, it's this symbol of love for both of them, it's love on the part of Jenna, for stepping in and taking care of Maggie when she can't do it herself, and it's love on the part of Maggie, for realizing how her own bad habits impact the people she cares about and wanting to lift that weight by taking care of herself better. It's also very vital for Maggie because she just... doesn't... have hobbies. Learning how to cook becomes really her only hobby and she puts all of her love and care into it, because for the first time in a long while she's actually passionate about something! ...Unfortunately she also is very very bad at it. She's inventing new dishes like "Burnt Salad" and "Please Help I Fucked Up Kraft Mac N Cheese" and still having to have Jenna come in and help her. But it's the thought that counts, and it'll only be a matter of time before she can make something vaguely edible.

And finally, the stuff about names! I didn't post it here, but while idly talking about her in a Discord server I'm in, I definitely think that had I made Maggie like even a few months later than I would've done she would've been nonbinary. As it stands right now though, I'm saying she's probably some form of genderweird but too busy trying not to die to think about it <3 Growing up knowing that ghosts are real and routinely being shut down by authority figures in her life about it has made her very aware of how bullshit a lot of things are and how the people who claim to be knowledgeable tend to not know what they're talking about (Beyond just the "people don't think ghosts are real", she's also got ghosts willing to tell her when people are lying because they've got nothing better to do than just gossip) , so if she spent even just a moment thinking about gender as a social construct she'd instantly recognize that and probably take up some form of genderweird label, but as it stands she's just too stressed with Being The Protagonist to think about that

Now, the thing with Margaret. I'm not even going to lie to you, I think you made a better connection to how a name connects with community in terms of the narrative themes than I did. The thing with Margaret denying the name "Maggie" existed for two reasons, the in-universe explanation is that, with the little scrap of soul Margaret has leftover from Maggie, it's essentially working overtime just to keep her vitals working, it can't dedicate time and energy to making her an individual with preferences and a personality, so part of that is that she doesn't respond to "Maggie" because ultimately, that is not her name. Her name is Margaret and she's not going to respond to "Maggie" because "Maggie" isn't her name. Of course, out of universe the reasoning is that I wanted an easy way to distinguish between Maggie as she is the protagonist, and the version of her that lived in the years she was gone, so different names makes the most sense.

I think your connection to how name relates to community genuinely works on a level I hadn't fully pieced together myself yet and I really love that because I think that absolutely works with everything. One of the main conflicts of the plot is how Maggie is entirely disconnected from her family thanks to the years she was gone, with Margaret having no priorities beyond "survive", she basically never spoke with her parents or brother for years. While her family tried to reach out to her repeatedly (Especially given that, while they're unaware the truth of what happened the night Maggie was murdered, they do know something happened, and they believe that whatever it was severely traumatized her, and that's where the sudden and drastic shift in personality came from), there's a point where they just... gave up. She wasn't trying to talk with them or contact them in the slightest, so around a year or two after Margaret moved out, her parents gave up on her. Her brother would still be there a bit, but he also didn't really... try... anymore.

When Maggie wakes up, she tries to call her parents... and they don't pick up. They'd grown resentful over the years, and now that Maggie wants to talk to them, they don't forgive her for the years of not speaking to them, and aren't interested in whatever she has to say after nearly a decade of trying to reconnect with her and being met with nothing. It's her insistence that she wants to be called Maggie that actually gets her brother to realize she's telling the truth and that something happened. She shows up at his door, already something that Margaret wouldn't have done, and that combined with her being visibly upset when he calls her Margaret and tells him that's not her and that she's Maggie, it signals to him that whatever's going on is real (...though he would've figured this out eventually, given that she also literally 17 again and not in her mid-20s, and has a giant glowing stab wound in her chest). I think it works absolutely perfectly as being a symbol of community, her disconnect from her community is what led to her being called Margaret, and her desperation to be returned to that community is when she's Maggie again. So uh. Congrats on getting the themes of my OCs better than I did <3

And uhhhh closing thoughts! I honestly did still skim over the majority of the plot (Literally never even mentioned Eli or what's going on with her stab wound </3), but I think you reeeeally hit the nail on the head with everything I'm kinda getting at with these OCs, which is... frankly wild given how little main plot I actually got at. Basically everything I mentioned in my original post was the setup, not the main plot. But waaaaugh thank you for being so niceys to me and also giving me another excuse to ramble endlessly <3

#my OCs #uhhh MAGGIE FUN FACTS: #Animals can tell when a soul is weird so she has a colony of stray cats that hang around her apartment door #she doesnt even LIKE animals that much (She barely takes care of HERSELF shes not taking care of any animals.) #but they all like her weirdass soul and keep hanging around because of it #When the plot ends she gives one of the stray cats to her parents as a 'sorry i died' gift #The cats name is Marge- named by Jenna and also specifically its 'Marge' said in a Simpsons impression. any Simpson #It's Jennas FAVORITE cat out of the strays bc she says she looks like Maggie. also Marge is a male cat #Neither Jenna nor Maggie know how to tell the difference between a male and female cat reliably so they assume Marge is female- hes not #Also Eli's the closest to the 'main antagonist' the story gets. hes an old coworker of Margarets and basically her only friend #and Maggie's too scared with her whole 'is actively dying' thing and doesnt know how to tell him 'hey im not your friend- she died' #ELI thinks that Margaret is essentially have some sort of extreme mental breakdown and is trying to get her help bc he cares about her- #-unaware that Maggie is essentially a different person and doesnt know him #anyways uhhhh Maggie attempts to beat him to death with her laptop once. sorry Eli. luckily shes 17 and scrawny as fuck- #-so he's able to throw her off of him but its still. BAD #Maggie's got INSANE insomnia for a large variety of reasons- and falls asleep on the floor one night while on her laptop #Eli- having gotten off work late and going to check on Margaret- who hasnt shown up to work in weeks and isnt answering her phone #-spots Maggie passed out on the floor and assumes shes having some sort of medical emergency #Margaret had left her spare keys at work which he'd grabbed- so he lets himself in to get her to a hospital #Only for Maggie to wake up. With a strange man in her apartment in the middle of the night. Wuh Oh ! #THIS time however- when she's home alone (shes not alone Jenna's asleep in the other room) and she spots a stranger in her house- #-she ends up with a fight reaction and NOT freeze <3 #also her full name is Margaret Elisabeth Newell and her brothers name is Hawke #one of the very few times i will give my OC a full name- and entirely bc my friend suggested her last name LMAO #also she believes in bigfoot. GHOSTS are real and theyre WAY less believable than 'big ape' so she fully believes it #Opal keeps trying to tell her no that ones ACTUALLY not real and shes like uh huh. sure. ill believe it when i see it

[butwilltherebealcohol]

Roommate: hey bud.......how ya doin?

Me, head down on table, 4th whiskey on ice in hand, earbuds blasting music loud enough to hear from the other side of the room: why wyould u even ask im obviously perfectly fine. thriving.

#tw alcohol #tw alcoholism #tw depressed #sorry roommie im goin back to my room now i promise #i just wanted ice lol whoops #hahaaaaa i wanna die #had a full on breakdown the other night but it was in my room and i was quiet abt it so!! im a good roommate #all our knives are so DULL like whats the POINT #i genuinely dk how much longer i can do this #like theres gotta be a point where if i kill myself ppl will just be like well....it was bound to happen #and not feel like they have to blame anyone else but me #and enjoy the burden of Me being lifted off them #like how pathetic do i gotta get #sad drunk #im in pain

[barefoot-joker]

Snake in the Garden Pt 3~Yandere!Lucifer X Reader

Hello guys, and welcome to the third installment of Snake in the Garden! This chapter is a bit longer than the first two, so I hope you enjoy the extra words. I'm excited to bring in the next chapter for you all and I bet Lucifer will be happy to see you too! The taglist is still open, so if you're interested in joining comment down below! As always, I hope you enjoy and have a great day/night!

Words: 3048

Warnings: Non-Con Kissing, Mental Breakdown, Forced Marriage, Swearing

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

I shook as I locked the bathroom door behind me. I had left Lucifer in his workshop while I claimed I needed to do my business. Even with him so far away I was still so nervous. After I made sure nobody was around, I started emptying the pockets of my pants. I was keeping different colored pieces of fabric on my person and taking them out felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. Setting them on the counter, I went into the cabinet below the sink and pulled out my secret. In the privacy of the bathroom I was building a rope. Over the past few weeks I had been collecting different fabric from all around the palace. Napkins, towels, shirts, nothing was free from my building process. Sitting on the toilet, I grabbed my newly acquired material and tied it to the end of the rope. The rope itself was quite long and only a few more pieces would need to be added in order for it to reach the full height out of the window. Satisfied with my work, I put it back in the cabinet and went on my way back to the workshop. 

My days passed by slowly and I was counting down to when I could finally escape. Lucifer was getting touchy feely more than ever. It was so bad I couldn’t go a minute without his hands on me. I tried to tell him to stop but that just made his body get closer to mine and his grip to get a bit tighter. I absolutely hated it. His courting was getting worse too. Every day I’d wake up to a new rubber duck or bouquet of flowers being thrusted at my face, a wide smile on his face and a blush spreading from cheek to cheek. The only time I could find for myself was using the bathroom either for bathing purposes or other forms of business. 

One day I found myself in the dining room eating breakfast. Lucifer sat across from me reading his newspaper. However he seemed very fidgety as his leg kept bouncing underneath the table and his claws were tapping the paper in his hands. I was a bit nervous as I had never seen him act like this before and I wasn’t sure what was to come from it. After our plates were cleared, Lucifer came to my side and took me by the hand. He gave it a quick kiss before leading me through the glass doors to outside. We walked to a spot on the property I haven’t been to yet. We stopped by a small gazebo and inky black arms wrapped around my waist. “Ta da!”

One of his arms gestured to the dead grass in front of us. I was confused until I saw it change to a healthy green color. Amazed, I watched as bushes of flowers popped up from the ground and a tree with some apples grew before my very eyes. Rows upon rows of vegetables magically appeared as well. I gasped at how beautiful the scenery was before me. “I’d like to present to you your very own garden. I’ve been thinking of gifting this to you for a while but I couldn’t find the right moment. What do you think?”

I was speechless. All of this was for me? I understood this was part of his courting but the gesture was super nice.

“It’s…it’s beautiful, Lucifer. Thank you.”

He gasped and turned to me. His eyes lit up and a huge smile went from one red cheek to the other. “Was that a thank you I heard? Please hold the applause! Can we hear that one more time?”

I giggled. “Thank you.”

He leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “You’re welcome, darling. How about you take a look around while I grab some paperwork.”

He kissed my forehead and then poofed away in a cloud of red smoke. I coughed a bit as the smoke cleared and waved my hand to try and move it away faster. From where I stood, I could see the hole in the fence and as much as it called to me, I stayed put. I just needed some more time and then I’d be free. While Lucifer was away I walked around my newly acquired garden and smiled. It was actually quite the spectacle, but who could expect less from the Sin of Pride? 

Suddenly in a flash, Lucifer returned with a butt load of papers in his hand. “Did you have a chance to look around, my dear?”

“I did.”

“Is it to your liking? I can always add in more shrubbery or substitute the flowers for something else.”

“No, it’s quite lovely. Thank you.”

He puffed out his chest and smiled. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing you say that. Now before I begin my boring paperwork, is there anything I can get you?”

“Perhaps a trowel and a bucket?”

“Of course.”

He snapped his fingers and next to me on the grass appeared those two items. “I’ll just be over at this table so if you need anything don’t be afraid to ask, sweetie.”

“Will do.”

“Good girl. Have fun!”

True to his word, Lucifer sat at a small, white, metal table and began working on his stack of paperwork. I was curious to know what kind of contracts and other tasks the King of Hell had to accomplish, but I just ignored that wish. Turning to the apple tree I noticed some weeds, so I headed over. Kneeling down, I took the trowel and began to dig out the vermin and put them in the bucket. Everytime I dug out a weed it seemed like another one appeared. I growled and kept going, but the process was soon becoming tedious. Just as I was about to give up, I heard chuckling coming from the table. I looked over to see Lucifer hiding his laughter behind one of his papers. “So you’re the reason I can’t get through this task. Get back to work, mister!”

I playfully shook my trowel at him and he gave a salute. “Yes, ma’am.”

I laughed and went back to shoveling. Without Lucifer’s magic making more appear, weeding the apple tree went fairly quickly. After that was done, I moved onto the other bushes and rows of vegetables. It took me several hours but I was finally done weeding. I wiped the sweat off of my brow and let out a breath. It had been a while since I was able to do something I enjoyed in this hellhole. Walking over to the table, I sat down across from His Majesty. I set the bucket with the trowel and weeds inside on the grass. “Whatcha reading?”

“Monthly business reports from the different Sins. I doubt you’d find it entertaining. I certainly don’t.”

I had to chuckle. It was kind of funny to see this side of him. Wait a minute, what am I thinking?! Are you stupid?! He kidnapped you and is trying to court you! Get a grip, woman!

I shook my head and fiddled with my fingers. “Say, how about I take you out for dinner tonight. You’ve been so lovely here at home and I think we both deserve a treat.”

Oh you have no idea how wrong you are.

“Sounds nice. Anything you want me to wear?”

A smirk grew on his lips and he ran his claws up and down my arm. Goosebumps appeared on my skin and I had to suppress a shudder. “That red dress we got you would be a nice statement piece. Really sell the whole ‘you’re mine’ ideology.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

“I know you’ll do the right thing.”

Yeah right. 

I pulled my arm away so he’d stop touching it. “I was maybe going to go read in the library if that’s alright with you.”

“Of course, my dear. I’m almost done here so I’ll join you in a few minutes.”

I nodded and began to walk away. I heard him hum so I turned to look at him. He seemed so happy as he signed something. I almost felt bad for leaving him shortly but then I reminded myself of all the things he had done to me. Keep your focus, Y/n. Don’t lose sight.

I grunted and made my way inside to the library on the second floor. When I got there I walked over to one of the various bookcases. There were ten in total and each one reached the high vaulted ceiling. I scanned the titles of some of the books and landed on a fantasy novel, The Last Human. Quite the odd book to have.

I peeled it from its brothers and sat down in one of the plush leather, burgundy armchairs. I opened it and began to read. A few hours passed as I read, Lucifer coming in to join me at some point. He chose the chair next to mine and I felt his fingers playing with my thigh. I tried to not pay much attention to it and concentrate on my book. The novel itself was quite interesting, a spin on The Last Unicorn if you will. 

When night had fallen, the two of us changed. I donned the red, floor length garment that he wanted me to wear while Lucifer put on a black tuxedo. A servant drove us to the inner sanctum of the city and when we stopped His Majesty helped me out of the car. I thanked him and took the arm he held out. We walked into the posh looking restaurant and the cat hostess seemed surprised to see us. “Your Highness, welcome.”

“Hello. I placed a reservation for two earlier today.”

“Let me check the list.”

Her finger scanned down a piece of paper and then tapped a specific spot. “Here we are. Follow me please.”

She led us past several tables before we reached a table in the middle of the room. The table had a white tablecloth and vase with a rose in it. A candle in a glass bubble sat next to the vase in the center. Lucifer acted like a gentleman and pulled my chair out for me. He scooted it close before taking his seat. “Somebody will be with you shortly.”

“Thank you.”

The hostess left us and not even a minute later an imp waitress appeared. “Hello, my name is Jenny and I’ll be your server tonight. What can I get started for you two?”

“A bottle of your finest champagne, please.”

“Right away, Your Highness.”

She bowed and ran off. “Champagne? What’s the special occasion?” “What? A man can’t enjoy some fancy liquor with the woman he loves?”

He reached across the table and squoze my hand. I felt some heat rise to my cheeks and I looked away. The restaurant was quite packed. All the tables had some form of couple sitting at it. Our waitress returned with two tall glasses and a green bottle that read Beelzebub’s Special Brew. She popped the cork and poured some champagne into each of our glasses. “Now could I get you two something to eat?”

“Yes, just some pasta for both of us.”

“Of course, Sire. I’ll be out with that shortly.”

I watched as she ran off again. “I hope that was okay. I know you tend to favor pasta when Belfazaar serves it at home.”

“It’s fine.”

I grabbed my glass and took a sip. It was quite good, a bit on the sweeter side. “How is it?”

“Good. I’ll admit I haven’t had champagne since the last wedding I attended.”

At the mention of Earth, I could feel my aura dampen. While my “lover” tried to make my stay as homey as possible, I still longed for the green and blue planet. Lucifer must have noticed the mood change because the hand on top of mine caressed it lightly. “Still missing Earth, huh?”

I nodded. He sighed. “I thought I was making your stay in Hell quite cozy.”

“You have made it as comfortable as you can, Lucifer. Truly. I just miss my home is all.”

“Then perhaps I need to step up.”

Suddenly he stood and pulled out a black box. “Lucifer, what are you-”

I stopped when I saw him kneel. My eyes widened and my breath hitched. No, he couldn’t possibly be…

He opened the box and amongst the plush red velvet lay a golden ring made to look like a snake. Everyone in the restaurant started to gasp and I could see demons pull out their phones to record what was happening. “Please, don’t do this.”

The attention just made Lucifer more happy. “Y/n, I know you’ve been struggling with Hell lately. Trust me, I was there too once. However, I want to be by your side and make you comfortable, happy. More than anything I want to shelter and adore you. I think it’s time we made this official. Will you, Y/n L/n, marry me?”

My body stilled and my mind went blank. Everyone’s attention was on the two of us and the stares made my body flare up. I gulped. What should I do? What should I do?! WHAT SHOULD I DO?! If I accept, will I ever be able to go home? If I don’t, what will he do? He’s capable of so many things, what will he choose to do to me?

I could feel my breath getting stuck in my chest and my eyes started to water. Was it always this hot in here?

“I, I, I-”

“Please, Y/n. Make me the happiest man in all of Hell.”

He lifted the box a bit higher and the ring seemed to sparkle in the light. I looked into his eyes and could only find adoration there, them sparkling just like the ring. Everyone’s staring, just say something. JUST SAY SOMETHING, DAMMIT!

“Y-YES!”

I slapped my hands over my mouth quickly but it was too late. Lucifer plucked the piece of jewelry out of the box and put it on my ring finger. He stood up and for the first time kissed my lips. My eyes widened and I went to push him away, but he grabbed my hands in a tight hold. Everyone around us was applauding and cheering us on and I just wanted to die inside. He pulled away and caressed my cheek lightly. “I love you, my dear.” 

He sat himself back in his chair and smiled at me from across the table. I held my hand and looked at the piece of jewelry now adorning it. It was quite intricate for an engagement ring. Each one of the snake’s scales was engraved into the gold and a little diamond made up the eye. “Quite lovely, isn’t it? I’ve had that made since we first met. It feels nice to finally gift it to you.”

I was sick of looking at it, so I slid my hand under the tablecloth. So that’s why the courting had been ramped up recently. Because he was going to ask me to marry him.

“I thought it would be special to make it in the form we met in. That way it would be more meaningful to our relationship. I hope you like it, darling.”

I just nodded. I couldn’t force myself to say anything in case I said something rash and ruined my plan. Jenny came back to our table with two bowls and set them down. “Here we are. And congratulations on the engagement! I’m looking forward to the wedding.”

“Looks delicious, thanks!”

The two of us picked up our forks and began to eat. I slowly picked at mine and ate little bites while Lucifer talked. “So when do you want to have the wedding, darling? I was thinking a couple months from now when the Pentagram moon will be out. It’ll make the day even more special! Oh, we’ll have to get planning right away! I have so many ideas in mind, how about you?”

“I guess.”

“Are you alright, my little apple?”

“I’m feeling a bit sick actually. Could we maybe go home?”

“Of course, my dear. Let me just pay the check.”

Lucifer flagged down our waitress, paid the bill and then led me out to the car. Customers kept shouting at us congratulations as we left and I remained silent the whole ride home. When we arrived inside, I immediately headed for the bedroom. If I was going to escape, it better be tonight. “I think I’ll take a bath and then head to bed, Lucifer.”

“Alright. I’ll be in my office for a bit. I hope you feel better soon, dear.”

He gave me a light peck on the forehead and then left. Now to put my plan into action.

I headed to the wardrobe and pulled out a light blue nightgown. I grabbed it and went into the bathroom. Locking the door, I pulled off the red dress and put on the nightgown. Opening the cabinet, I pulled out my rope. Grabbing the red dress, I attached it to the end and tied the rope to the foot of the bathtub. Tugging on it to make sure it was secure, I unlatched the window and threw it out. I looked back at the door to make sure nobody was there and then began climbing down. My stomach twisted as I was quite high up and my foot had slipped a couple of times, but I finally made it to the ground. Peering around the corner of the palace, I saw David and Goliath sleeping in the front yard. Good to go.

I bolted as fast as I could to the hole in the fence. I moved aside the bushes and quickly squoze through. I hissed as the fence had caused a couple of gashes on my arm and tore a bit of my nightgown from the sharp edges. Looking around for some kind of direction, I saw in the distance the sparkling marquee that read Hazbin Hotel. I grinned and ran like my life depended on it.

~~~

TAGLIST

@ladymothbeth @cosmic-spider @l0vedoe @stormz369 @strawberry-gothic @repostingmyfavs @purplechan9 @caniseethefourthsword @rl800 @froggybich @txpchhhhhhh @stayinguplate @theonlykawaiigod-blog

#yandere #xreader #yandere x reader #x reader #yanderexreader #villain x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #yandere hazbin hotel #yandere lucifer #lucifer x reader #yandere lucifer x reader #yandere lucifer morningstar #yandere lucifer magne #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer morningstar #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer magne #lucifer magne x reader #yandere lucifer morningstar x reader #yandere lucifer magne x reader

[httpsghostie]

Beneath the Surface

Part one

Part two

A/N: First post! English isn't my first language so I'm sorry in advance if there's anything wrong with the writing.

Can't stop thinking about this man, it's unhealthy at this point

Brought you something filthy, hope you enjoy

Requests are open and appreciated!

Summary: Simon, your father's best friend, shows up in the middle of the night to give you a shoulder to put your legs head on.

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: smut, Simon 'Ghost' Riley x female!reader, unprotected sex (don't b silly wrap your weenie), p in v, implied age gap, choking, breeding kink (?

masterlist

NSFW below the cut

It had been an exhausting day and you felt like everything just decided to go wrong, all in one day. It started small, your sleeve getting caught in the door handle when you were cleaning the house, then it became a snowball. Accidentally hitting your foot on the corner of the bed, stumbling on the bucket and falling over it, spilling the dirty water all over the floor. At the end of the day you were overwhelmed, even the shower decided not to work properly, and you couldn't stand being near anything that could breathe. 

But there you were, endlessly trying to achieve the perfect eyeliner look because your college friends wanted to party. Failed attempts and sore eyelids lead you to a breakdown, and your attempts were soon washed away by your tears. Everything was too much and you just wanted a good night of sleep on a simple friday night. You sobbed in the bathroom as you tried to calm down, but your eyes were puffy and your face was swollen. The makeup was left on the bathroom sink and you went straight to your room to put on something more comfortable. 

Your parents weren't home, somehow when your dad was around he'd take your mom on late night dates. Simon, on the other hand, didn't have a wife or kids to come home to, and being your father's best friend, you probably saw the man even more than you saw your dad. He was almost always around when he was deployed, he had the keys to your parents house and he'd just show up. 

That wasn't exactly the best moment for him to appear in your living room when he realized the scream you let out. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare 'ya" he said. The room was lit by the TV screen and hopefully he wouldn't see your crying face. You sigh and walk to the kitchen, looking for something to eat, you end up making some popcorn and when you sneakily try to go straight back to your room, a cold hand grabs your arm. 

"Spit it out" he said. He knew you, usually you were happy and outgoing around him, and now you were just irritated and, of course, he couldn't comprehend. Your father didn't know but you were really close to Simon, he was kinda the cool uncle while your actual dad was strict and kind of annoying sometimes, Simon really made your high school years better just by being around when he could. 

"Not your business" you said, storming out. He followed your steps to your room, where you sat down on the bed and pulled a blanket over your legs, the bag of popcorn on your lap. He stood by the door frame, leaning against it, arms crossed as he eyed you. 

"Someone's grumpy" he tsked. "Come on, love, tell me what's wrong" he said as he came into the room and closed the door behind him. Something about him calling you love always caught you off guard, but now that you were in fact an adult with full knowledge of your feelings and needs, it made your stomach flip. 

"Nothing, Simon" you rolled your eyes at him as he sat in front of you on the bed. He made you a confused frown and laid a gentle hand on your knee. You could never keep things from him, his gaze burned you inside whenever he felt you were lying. "Just.. bad day, ok?" You sigh. 

"Bad day, huh?" You felt him mocking, but you couldn't care. "Elaborate." It felt so stupid to be angry because all the small things went wrong during the day, when you knew he had bigger problems to deal with in whatever army life he signed up for. 

"Everything went wrong today," you start, "I don't know, everything was either irritating me or hurting me, I even spilled the dirty water on me and the clean floor-" he cuts you off, laughing, you give him a killing stare. He holds the bridge of his nose and makes a disgusted face. 

"Have you showered?" His mood lightens you up and you chuckle, pushing him playfully. 

"Yes, I've showered." You say. "Cold shower, by the way." 

"What's wrong with the shower?" He asks and you shrug. "Aye I'll take a look at it later, 'k?" You nod. "Anything else that's bothering you?" God, it's like he could see through you. 

"I was going out with my friends," you explain shyly, "I couldn't finish my makeup and got frustrated, so I texted them saying I was sick." 

"And are you?" He tilts his head at you, you shake your head. "Why did you lie then, huh?" 

"Look I don't need a lecture on what to do, alright, Si? I just need to rest." The bag of popcorn on your lap became cold when you first took a handful to eat. 

"Want a massage?" He smirked. Of course you wanted a massage from those big, calloused hands of his that would fit perfectly around your neck. You stared at his hand and bit your lower lip, nodding. 

He gently pulled the blanket down from your legs and adjusted himself. You turned the TV on and he started to massage your feet. You let out a soft whimper as he ran his fingers against your skin, just now noticing how he shifted uncomfortably under your calves. 

Of course there was one more thing your dad didn't know: how touchy his best friend was with his daughter. You could say it was because he was a skirt chaser, or probably just touch starved, but the explanation didn't matter when his hand was traveling up your thigh under a blanket when you and your family were trying to watch a movie together. It was never more than this though, occasional touches that left you aching for him, hot and bothered. 

A movie played on the screen as he continued to massage your feet. There was something so sexual about him, the flexing muscles on his arm, his chest going up and down with his breathing, the growing bulge on his pants you could feel with your ankle and made a pool of arousal on your panties. 

Your shorts were... well, short, and he couldn't help but stare at you while you closed your eyes and imagined that monster of a man pinning you down and fucking you rough. More hums and soft whimpers escaped from your throat and they were going straight to Simon's dick. A malicious hand caressed your inner thigh and you opened your eyes with a confused, but hopeful look. He wasn't looking at you, and your stomach dropped when you saw a sex scene playing on the screen. You close your legs unsubconsciously and he looks at you. 

"'M sorry, love" he takes his hand off your thigh and chuckles. The nickname sent you over the edge, something snapping inside of you. He feels the way you shiver and how tense you seem, so he takes that bag of barely touched popcorn and places it by the bedside table and then land a warm hand on your waist. "What's on your mind, princess?" 

Well, nothing besides him naked, wasn't it obvious? But you couldn't say that, your mind was racing back and forth, and when you were unable to form a believable sentence, he caught you staring for too long. 

"Cat got your tongue?" He chuckled as his fingers traced circles on your waist. You can't remember the last time he tried doing this to you, but you know damn right you should've taken the chance to get laid, but God was it hard to understand this man. He'd tease you and pretend it was nothing, he'd leave you begging for him and say he couldn't touch you. Sometimes you just wanted to punch him for that. 

And yes, you found other ways to get satisfied. Got yourself a boyfriend during recess when neither Simon or your dad were around to pester the poor guy. But eventually they came home from wherever they were, and your father wasn't exactly happy about it, nor Simon, in fact, Simon was even more pissed than your dad. 

You couldn't say how many minutes you spent eyeing the man in front of you, but he grew impatient. The hand on your waist was gone and now spreading your legs to his liking, his body now towering over you. 

"If you don't tell me what's going on in that pretty little head of yours I'm gonna have to find out for myself." He said in a low, seductive voice. 

You gave in. Your hands grabbed the back of his neck and you kissed him feverly, a sloppy, wet kiss, he pressed his body onto yours and you could feel how hard he was on your lower body. But Simon was eager, he couldn't wait for it anymore, he needed to be inside of you. 

He yanked your shorts off, throwing it somewhere across the room, you also took his shirt off, revealing his perfect toned muscles and the scars that adorned it. He unbuckled his belt with one hand as the other one successfully removed your shirt. He didn't even bother taking his pants off, he just pushed them and his boxers down enough to let his dick free. He aligned it with your wet cunt, smearing your arousal all around your folds. 

"'S fucking wet already, huh?" He rubbed two fingers on your clit as he jerked himself off with his spare hand. "Can't imagine what you were thinking 'bout" he smirked. 

He put his tip on your entrance, looking at you for a sign of approval. You nod. He slowly pushed his length inside of you until it bottomed out. You clenched around him as you moaned. His body started moving faster as you adjusted to his size. He was big, you've felt it before with your hands, but you've never actually seen it. 

"Fuck, Si," you moan, "faster." You sounded like a desperate whore and he enjoyed it. You weren't exactly used to him not teasing you until you were on the verge of tears, so when he started to pound into you, you couldn't hold your moans. 

"Needy little slut." He grabbed your hips in place, almost using you like a fleshlight. He groaned, his chest rising with the heavy breathing. Fuck, that man was hot. 

His hands let go of your hips and held the back of your knees, so you were spreading even more. He watched as his dick abused your swollen and wet cunt, and he could cum just at the sight of his pretty princess getting ruined by his fat cock. You felt the cold metal on his belt hit the back of your thighs as he gave you deep thrusts. 

One of his hands traveled to your folds, his thumb drawing circles on your sensitive clit. As he was fucking your brains out, you dig your nails on his shoulders and earned a few moans along with a smirk. 

You were both really close when you heard a car park in the driveway, your eyes widened at Simon as he didn't seem to have listened to the sound of your parents getting home. 

"Fuck, Simon, my parents" you tried to push him away but his grip on you got stronger. He placed both of his hands on your neck and squeezed it. 

"Shut up" he whispered, not altering his pace. "Cum f' me, love" he demanded. Your hand rubbed your clit as he fucked you even harder. It was impossible to hold it back anymore and you reached your climax under him, your legs shaking from the overstimulation of his non-stopping thrusts. You heard the front door getting open. "'M gonna fill this pretty cunt of yours, huh? 'S that what you want?" He whispered in your ear. You could only slightly nod. "Good girl." He gave you a few more deep, shaky thrusts as he spilled his load into you and pulled out. 

"Y/n? We're home" you heard your mom shout from downstairs. Simon quickly pulled his pants up and put his shirt back on, throwing you your shorts that were across the room, tossed on the ground. He quickly got out and went to the bathroom, pretending he was fixing the shower. 

"Simon?" Your dad shouted in a worried and anxious tone, he obviously saw his friend's car in the driveway, and what was his friend doing here in the night when his daughter was alone? 

"Here" he shouted back from the bathroom, your dad ran upstairs to check if everything was alright and found Simon trying to fix the shower. 

"Everything alright? Heard noises" your dad asked. 

"Y/n gave me a call, she wanted to shower but apparently the shower wasn't working" you overheard Simon explain. He stepped out, turned it on and let the water run for a bit. "It's working now." 

You have absolutely no clue what the fuck he did with the shower in such a short period of time, but the effort was well appreciated. He tried to excuse himself out, but your dad insisted for him to stay the night. You waited in your room until your parents went to bed to get out, the back of your thighs were marked from his belt and your neck was red from his grip, not to mention the oozing cum on your thighs that your panties and shorts weren't able to hold. 

Simon was in the guest room when he heard you walk to the bathroom to get yourself cleaned, and of fucking course he wouldn't let you do it alone, he's finally got a taste of you after all these years holding back and he won't stop until he's fucking his cum inside you again as the running water muffles the sounds of how good he makes you feel.

#cod mwii #cod mw2 #ghost cod #simon ghost #cod x reader #cod fanfic #cod smut #simon ghost riley #simon ghost x reader #simon riley #ghost x reader #ghost smut #mw2 fanfic

[pupyuj]

[cw: smut, g!p, overstimulation, masturbation]

almost lost my train of thought here... but i was thinking about minjeong and short-circuited,, yknow.. the usual 😵‍💫 this is so long it might as well have been a full fic 😭😭 i probably said 'minjeong' way too many times here but ignore me okay i love her name...

EDIT: I GOT THE CWS WRONGJDJCNGK

your perv virgin bff minjeong who's always thinking about fucking you :(( even in some of her dreams you're there.. naked and telling her to give in to her temptations and then she wakes up with the most horrible hard on ever that she has to calm herself down 😭😭 but like she definitely could fuck you bcs it's not like you're a prude and you have slept with your other friends before,, but minjeong chickens out every time she could talk to you about it,,, how could she even talk about it?! her, the shy and 'pathetic' kim minjeong, asking for you, the sweet and charming (y/n) to have sex with her?? no, minjeong thinks she doesn't deserve that privilege 💔

bbut likeeee what if you invite her over to your house for your weekly movie nights,, minjeong arriving on time just like always, thinking the night was going to be just like the others where she has to try and keep her urges controlled while she watches you snore next to her 😭 and she's seeing you in one of your cute pajamas sets again and has a little mental breakdown inside her head bcs her bff was so dang cute :(( but she's also growing a fucking boner again bcs when is she not???? thank god you never minded that minjeong had a dick bcs she knew that if you were to take a glance down, you would see the very obvious tent in her sweatpants 😟🫣

minjeong sitting down on your bed, all changed in her pajamas and lazily browsing your movie collection,,, hiding her hard on under one of your plushies bcs ofc she had to be staring at your plump ass the entire time you walked around your room 😩

"shit,, i'm sorry minjeong, i forgot to buy us packets of hot chocolate earlier," you said, pouting cutely.

"it's okay, we can just have the bread and the other snacks," minjeong smiles at you, finding this side of yourself very endearing .

"mmm but i wanted a warm drink," you mumbled . just then, minjeong got a sick thought in her head that made her blush so hard, she had to focus her eyes back on the tv. ugh she was such a dirty-minded girl, she thought of you gulping up her cum like it was a cup of hot chocolate :((

"i'll run down to the convenience store real quick! will you be okay here?" and minjeong nodded. you've left her alone in your house before and usually she just stayed in your room and scrolled through her phone . "i'll lock the door, don't worry. i'll be back in a few!" and then you were gone. minjeong finally gets rid of the plushie on her lap and looked at her throbbing hard cock, her face all red . she was hopeless . she can't possibly try and get rid of it, she was in your room! you'd immediately know if your best friend decided to jack off and come on your bed! eventually, minjeong decided to just distract herself and pray that her cock will calm down on its own... and what does she do? walk around your room and clean up .

she arranged your plushies on your bed, fixed the framed pictures sitting atop your bookshelf, slid a few books back inside your bookshelf, cleaned up your study table and vanity mirror, then she makes her way inside your bathroom, where she saw a few of your dirty clothes lying on the floor . clicking her tongue, she picks it all up and throws it inside your dirty laundry basket... except a thin, purple pair of panties that she couldn't stop looking at while holding it in her hands. and oh no, there her boner goes again...

fuck, this was impossible. she has to do something, right??? you were going to be out and about for who knows how long... it should be okay, right???

minjeong making her way back to your bed with a sense of urgency :(( nearly tripping over her own feet trying to pull her pajama pants and panties off,, sitting back down on your bed, her cock hanging in the air,, oh she so knew this was wrong in all ways but she has to calm herself before you arrive or else she'll go through the embarrassment of you noticing her hard cock halfway through the night and possibly tease her about it :(((

meanwhile... you're rushing back to your house with a bag full of hot chocolate packets and a few extra snacks bcs you're paranoid that some guy might break in and hurt your little minjeong sjsndjkfkdf calling out to your best friend as soon as you're inside, taking off your flip flops and jacket and heading to the kitchen to heat up some water when you hear... groaning? oh god did somebody actually break in??!!! you rushing up the stairs with only minjeong's safety in mind and coming to a complete stop in front of your bedroom door when you hear minjeong's voice moaning... your name...?? you left the door slightly open earlier, so you took a peek inside...

lo and behold, your best friend, the sweetest, most innocent girl you know, has your favorite pair of panties wrapped around her hard cock 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 she doesn't notice you standing by the door yet, too lost in pleasure and too focused on getting herself to come . she's bucking her hips against the fabric, where the tiniest bit of your own slick from when you were wearing it before remain.. but then she puts your panties against her nose and inhaled, finding your scent so addicting... she's simultaneously jerking herself off and within the next seconds, she came with a whine.. and you watched as her cum spurted out of her cock and onto your bedsheets...

"holy fuck minjeong." bcs what else were you supposed to say!?

poor minjeong nearly bursting into tears when she realizes that you've watched her,, immediately hiding her cock underneath your blankets and dropping your panties on the floor,,, "i-i-i... you're s-supposed to be gone... you weren't supposed to see all that..!!" she's so embarrassed, it's almost heartbreaking 😔 but see, what minjeong doesn't know is that you don't give a fuck.

approaching her on the bed, standing by the side and grabbing her face, "minjeong.. don't cry, it's okay," you're saying bcs now the poor girl was actually in tears :(((

"i'm so s-sorry, (y/n)... i know i'm fucking weird.. i h-had to do something about it, i'm sorry..." ugh it really hurt to see your best friend like this :(( but.. you did say before that you would do anything to cheer her up... and what better way to do that than to relieve her?? ☺️☺️☺️

minjeong's eyes nearly bulging out of her head when you pulled the blanket off of her legs, freeing her still hard cock... taking off your pajama top and climbing on your bed, on your knees, face down and so dangerously close to minjeong's cock... "i got you, minjeong... you don't even have to ask." and her mind completely goes blank when you planted a kiss on her tip 😵‍💫😩

easing her length into your mouth bcs unexpectedly enough, minjeong was surprisingly big :((( feeling your pussy clench at the way her cock twitched as you pushed it deeper and deeper down your throat steadily... looking up at minjeong and seeing her completely entranced by how your mouth feels on her cock.. she was so cute </3 finally bobbing your head up and down slowly, dragging your lips on her shaft and simultaneously licking off her cum from before...

minjeong was completely frozen, convinced that she was stuck in a daydream bcs she never once thought that you would do this with her :(((( you putting her hand on your head, silently pleading her to use your mouth with your eyes but minjeong's virgin ass doesn't know what to do at alllll 😭😭😭 so she just pets your head and nods at you cutely, as if to tell you to keep on doing what you're doing ugh she's so stupid...

rolling your eyes and deciding to do it all on your own, moving your head up and down faster and faster, making yourself gag when minjeong's cock touches the back of your throat,,, minjeong nearly screaming out as she came,, her warm cum filled up your mouth, and you're swallowing every drop <333

"thank you... thank you, (y/n)..." minjeong says, completely out of her head... and you just laugh at her bcs oh, poor girl doesn't know what was coming... you're suddenly pulling her down on the bed, making her lay flat on her back while you took off your pajama pants and panties,,, minjeong staring at you with wide eyes... on one hand she thought you pussy was really pretty but on the other, holy fuck she was so turned on 😵‍💫

"don't think i never see you checking my ass out, minjeong. you're not as slick as you think, baby," you wink at her before turning yourself around facing minjeong's legs and bending down a little, pushing your ass against her cock. oh god she knew exactly what you were going to do,,, you lifted yourself up, spread your folds open, and dropped your cunt on minjeong's cock,,

both of you moaning loudly at the feeling,, gripping minjeong's ankle as you fucked yourself onto her cock,, your best friend watching your ass jiggle every time you dropped down,, fuck she could come just by the sight alone she's so weak for you :((((

"mmhm..! you should've told me, minjeong... you really should have told me you were so big.. ahh...! i would have let you fuck me sooner... so much sooner..." you were moaning like crazy, riding her deeper and faster, hitting all of your sweet spots with your best friend's cock 🫠 a part of you have always wanted to use her like this.. minjeong was so timid and always needed you,, you should have known that she need you in this way too!

"f-from now on.. you won't get to suffer anymore, baby... a-ahhn... i'll let you fuck me whenever you need me... o-okay? just call me and i'll be there, alright...? fuck...! i'm your best friend after all," oh, you were driving minjeong crazyyy 😵‍💫😵‍💫 she was gripping your ass now, ruthlessly slamming her cock inside you, completely driven by her desire for you 😳 she's scratching your lower back, sure to leave marks and small wounds but you don't mind of course 😩

ehehejdejd minjeong suddenly having the courage to get up, push you onto your knees, all fours on your bed, and then pounding into you from behinddd 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

"fucking finally.. knew you had it in you... come on, harder... fuck me, minjeong...!!"

and that she does! tiny grunts in your ear as she thrusting her cock into you as best as she can,, ofc she's a little clumsy but you know she'll make up for it in the future... you'll be there to help her ☺️ minjeong whining in your ear, holding your hands, biting on your shoulder as she cums inside you :((( you're coming too, and you sounded so heavenly to her... your moans were definitely sounds that she wants to hear her whole life...

the two of you definitely fuck all night 😭😭😭 in between movies and sips of hot chocolate, minjeong just can't get enough of youuu 💖💖

#aespa x reader #aespa smut #aespa imagines #kim minjeong smut #kim minjeong imagines #kim minjeong x reader #winter smut #winter x reader #winter imagines #girl group x reader #girl group imagines #girl group smut

[barcaatthemoon]

the truth ii || jenni hermoso x reader ||

the aftermath of your breakdown.

jenni found herself walking back to the hotel soon after alexia took you away. mapi would probably kick her ass in the morning for everything, but jenni had been waiting for that moment to come. she had expected punches to come flying her way when she came back from mexico, but it seemed that you had kept quiet about the break up. you had even kept quiet when you had to stand by and watch as jenni buried herself in between the legs of various women to distract herself from you.

"ale, open up," jenni said as she knocked on your hotel room door. she had expected to find alexia watching over you for the night, and was partially shocked to see ona and patri there instead. "where is alexia?"

"she's getting some things for (y/n), who has been very chatty by the way," ona warned. jenni knew from the silence and tension radiating from patri that you told them what happened. jenni couldn't think of anything to say to defend herself.

"i'm sorry." jenni stood awkwardly at the door, hoping that one of them would let her in. "i didn't know what happened at first, but eventually it started to come back in bits and pieces."

"jenni, go back to your own room," alexia said as she pushed past jenni to get into your room.

"i want to talk to you," jenni said. alexia gave the younger players a nod as she put the thing she had bought for you in their arms. jenni stepped into the hallway with alexia, who lost her cool once the door was shut. jenni hadn't expected the outburst from alexia, who despite her poor temper, had gotten it under control as she came into the position of captain.

"how could you let me treat her like that? you knew what you did, jenni. we loved and supported you unconditionally, all the while you were the own cause of your sadness. if you would have gotten over yourself, the two of you could have been married by now!" alexia's voice was raised and her hands were fisted around the collar of jenni's shirt. jenni was backed against the wall, just waiting for the inevitable punch to come from alexia's fist. "they shut her out because we all thought she broke your heart and ran."

"i'm sorry," jenni apologized. alexia let go of her, unable to look at jenni for a second longer. "this is a mess, and it's all my fault. i don't know how to fix it."

"you'll be damn lucky if any of us can fix this. because of you, we all hurt her too. if you would have just told the fucking truth, none of this would have happened. you didn't mean any of that, not even in the message," alexia said. jenni froze at the mention of the voicemail. her face fell immediately.

"y-you heard the voicemail?" jenni felt like all of the air had been forced out of her lungs as alexia nodded her head. she had expected you to delete it. a night of drinking had coaxed jenni into venting to you about the breakup and all the things she had said. the only issue was that jenni was full of misplaced anger, and every terrible thing she felt about herself had been directed at you instead. "i didn't mean any of that about (y/n). it as about me, it was always about me."

"just get the hell out of here for now," alexia said. she was at a loss as to what she should have done. she knew that jenni hadn't meant any of that towards you, but that didn't change the fact that she had said it. nothing would ever be able to change the fact that she had said it, and despite the fact that alexia knew both of you still loved each other deeply, she wasn't sure that she was comfortable letting you go back to jenni after everything. it could only be a matter of time before she got fucked up again, leaving you to go through the whole ordeal once more.

…

slowly over the course of the next few days, the team seemed to warm up to you again. ona and patri had refused to leave your side, both of them apologizing for icing you out profousely. in all honesty, you knew that you should have been mad at them, but you were far too relieved to have friends again to care. even better than that, you were glad to no longer have to avoid your captain or the players you used to look to for guidance.

"i don't know if this is really your thing, but i was going to go with some of the girls to a candy store. i've heard a lot about it online, it's supposed to be pretty cool," mapi said as she stood awkwardly in front of your seat. you had eaten breakfast with ona, patri, and pina. it was nice, aside from the fact that jenni spent the whole morning in the corner by herself, not even sitting at a table. you had been mad at her, but you still didn't want her to be shut out by the team like you were.

"yeah, that sounds good. maybe you should ask jenni too, i bet she'd like to come," you tried to suggest. mapi gave you a look as she sat down across from you. "she's been your friend longer than i've been here. longer than any of you have known i existed. remember that i knew it was risky dating her with the age gap."

"yes, but jenni knows what she did. has she even apologized to you?" mapi asked. you shrugged. technically, there had been quite a few apologies, but none of them had been very good. jenni's sincerity had been wasted away because of your anger, and by the time you were willing to hear her out, she was mad at you.

"it's complicated, mapi. even after everything, i still love her and that's got to mean something," you reasoned.

"yeah, it means you're young. i'd stay away from her if i was you," mapi warned. you nodded in understanding, but chose not to say anything. mapi wandered off to gather up a few more girls to go to the candy store with you, which was when you took your opportunity to sneak back to your room. all you had wanted was a little time to process your thoughts, but nobody wanted to leave you alone.

you understood patri and ona being clingy, especially ona, but it was still rough on you. being alone had become your norm in germany, and while your contract was coming up soon, you weren't sure if you wanted to go back to barcelona. alexia had been pushing for it, which was part of why you had agreed to go out with mapi today instead. mapi had been the one to listen to you talk about the different club options silently yesterday. alexia had been loud, giving you a million reasons why barcelona was better than all of the other ones.

"shit, sorry. i can wait," jenni said as she walked over to the elevators. you didn't look over towards her, not even as the doors opened. you stepped inside first. jenni just stood there until you held the door open for her, indicating that you didn't mind her coming in too. "are you sure?"

"no, but you should come here anyway," you told her. jenni cracked a small smile as she stepped into the elevator with you. it was a little awkward at first, and even more so when you looked over to find her staring at you. "you didn't have to sit on the floor at breakfast today. i'm sure someone would have sat with you."

"not a chance. if we didn't have more games, i'd be back in mexico already," jenni admitted. she had planned on staying an extra couple of weeks in spain to spend with friends and family. you didn't like the idea of her abandoning that because of that happened with you. "i saw on instagram that you're going to be a free agent soon. i didn't think you had signed such a short contract."

"alexia wants me to come back to barcelona, but i'm not sure. i haven't told ona or patri that jona wants me back yet. god, she'll be so mad if i don't come back," you sighed. jenni cautiously reached out and placed her hand on your back. "you really made a mess of things for me."

"i made a mess of things for both of us, and i am so sorry. those things i said, i wasn't talking about you when i said them. i was talking about me," jenni admitted. your brows furrowed as you stared at her. "i hadn't thought much about how it would look at first, and then it was pushed into my head so i couldn't think of anything else. i never thought to ask you if you thought i was taking advantage of you. i mean, it all happened so fast at first."

"would you have ever asked me out if we didn't get drunk and sleep together?" you asked. jenni bit her lip awkwardly as she rubbed the back of her neck. "tell me. i want to hear the truth jenni."

"no, nothing would have ever happened if that first night didn't. i wouldn't have let you keep coming over, but i think i still would have loved you. i wouldn't have gotten nervous when you kissed me at alexia's, so i wouldn't have thrown up everywhere on the balcony. you wouldn't have had to drive me back to my place to take care of me, and i wouldn't have asked you to move in with me," jenni admitted. "i wouldn't have been 32 with a 19 year old girlfriend. we wouldn't have to tell the team, and patri wouldn't have ever fucking gotten in my face about us, so i wouldn't have come back home and yelled at you like that. so, i am sorry that i didn't have any fucking control, but i don't regret sleeping with you one bit."

"i don't either," you whispered. jenni glanced over at you with a small smile on her face. it didn't do much to hide the tears in her eyes or the way that her voice had been shaking as she recounted the things that wouldn't have happened if you hadn't slept with jenni for the first time.

"you should. you should be angrier with me than you are. i know that i can't stand myself when someone mentions you." jenni sank back into herself a little. you knew that jenni being upset and genuine about the breakup should have made you feel better, but it only made you feel worse. "thank you for listening to me."

"can i talk now?" you asked jenni. she nodded and you pressed the emergency stop button on the elevator. "sit down."

jenni did exactly as you asked, sliding down the wall to sit. you sat down across from her with your legs crossed. it was a habit that alexia and mapi got onto you for because it was truly terrible for your knees. jenni had never gotten onto you for things like they did, she had always gently corrected you, if she ever did. jenni liked being your girlfriend much more than she liked being an authority figure or mentor.

"if you would have talked to me about what was bothering you back then, i could have helped. i could have reassured you that you weren't taking advantage of me. i could have reminded you that every step of the way, i resisted through your persistence that it wasn't right. i could have reminded you that i wanted this so badly that i used to stay up all night trying to figure out how the hell i was going to be around you the next day," you told her.

jenni pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them, balling herself up a bit. you could see the nervous little twitch in her fingers that she tried to hide. despite what you knew was in your best interests, you reached out and took jenni's hand. almost immediately, the floodgates opened up for her and she launched herself into your arms.

"i don't think that we can do this again jenni, i really don't," you sighed. jenni glanced up at you, her makeup now smeared all over your shirt. "mapi was right, i can't just take you back. i want to so badly, and i know that i love you, but i need to love someone else. i can't run back to you, jenni, i just can't."

"oh, okay," jenni said as she stood up. you sighed as you watched her flip the elevator switch again, despite you not really being done. you had more to say, but it was obvious in the way that jenni shook as she stood there that she was on the verge of breaking down. it wasn't your job to comfort her, so she wouldn't subject you to watching that.

she stopped the elevator at the next floor, which definitely wasn't hers. you watched her sprint away from you like she couldn't get away fast enough. you sighed as you stood up, waiting for the elevator to stop on your floor. when it did, you were met with ona and mapi standing there, waiting for you.

"hi guys," you said softly. you moved past them to get to your room to change your shirt, thankful that neither of them wanted to talk to you about it. they waited for you to get ready before the three of you left together, everybody else having gone out a little earlier.

"have you thought about where you want to sign to?" mapi asked. ona's head snapped over to look at you, and for a moment, you thought about strangling mapi in the middle of the busy street.

"no, i haven't," you hissed. ona cleared her throat, causing you to glance over towards her. "oni, i would have told you, bu-,"

"sign to arsenal, they want you. i think that you could really help them, and it'll be fun to play against you in the champion's league," ona told you. you were shocked that she wasn't begging you to come back to barcelona. you remembered the night you packed up your bags and left for germany, and the way that ona had sobbed on her knees begging you to stay.

"are you sure? ale said that barcelona would resign me," you told her.

"it's not the right time for you to come back to barcelona, not yet. who knows, maybe you'll find a cute girl in london. they go a little crazy for a spanish accent. i hear leila's having a lot of fun in manchester," ona teased. your cheeks burned with heat as you thought about what she was suggesting. mapi nudged you as well, obviously on board with this idea. "think about it, okay?"

"yeah, i will," you promised. in all honesty, you had thought about transferring to the wsl or even the nwsl. there were a couple of teams in america that had really wanted you, but there was no way that you'd ever run into jenni in england. she was too far away to excuse a casual visit, so maybe arsenal was just what you needed for closure.

#woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso imagine #jenni hermoso imagine #jenni hermoso x reader

[limes-sagau]

Starting My Sagau Writing Journey

Ok Im wanting to dip my toes into the Sagau writing scene and I wanted to put out about 3 ideas I have and plan on writing. Each idea will be outlined below and people are welcome to take inspiration off of them just make sure to tag me in the writing. There will also be a poll at the end where you can vote for which one you want to see first. When I finish writing each chapter they will be put up on AO3. 

Shimeji AU: 

For those who don't know, Shimeji is a browser extension that spawns a chibi version of a character onto your browser. This character can then move around and climb on the borders of your web page and just be a cute little distraction (I know this might sound like malware but its not I've had a Venti and a Lumine Shimegi for a while now and haven't experienced anything that can imply they are malware) 

This would be more of a drabble and less of a full fic. 

Basically the characters in genshin become aware through their Shimeji and then begin acting up in your browser when you're out of the game (when you're in game you're fine).

If you leave your web browser opened when you leave your computer you will come back to it being on a weird page 

Like Venti looking at a wine website 

Diluc somehow ending up on a streaming service watching Batman 

Yae Miko finding your writing 

I'll likely start off with characters from Mondstadt and go down the list for each region.

Kidnapped by the Harbingers (not the final title): 

Exactly as it sounds, in the middle of the night you are taken from your college dorm (or room I likely won't specify) to Teyvat after the harbingers find a way into our world. 

Haven't decided which harbinger will be sent (leaning towards Childe because I feel like it would fit best and he'd be down for that type of experiment). 

Most of it will take place in a separate castle from Zapolyarny Palace. 

If you want to know my specific location I have in mind their is a visual novel called Dottore And The Spy where you become Dottores apprentice (highly suggest this visual novel) but its main story takes place in a castle in the middle of a frozen wasteland away from civilization where both Pantalon and Dottore live. This will be the main location for the story. 

I'll also be adding in Capitano as another permanent resident of this castle because I want to write about a big strong man who is the emotional intelligence of the three main harbingers present. 

The other harbingers and the Tsaritsa will appear but they will be much more understated in their role.

I want this fanfic to go into the mental load that being locked away from the world has on a person's psyche.

Readers' powers will slowly awaken, making it harder for the Harbingers to keep us a secret from Teyvat and specifically Celestia.

This won't be a full blown yandere fic with the harbingers, they will be slightly possessive but it is more about your safety since Celestia doesn't like you. 

Celestia will be the ultimate enemy over all but the story will not be focused on shooting down Celestia from the sky as readers powers will not ever reach the strength needed to face Celestia alone. 

Harbingers plan will not have changed; they are still working to take down Celestia.   

This will be taking place after Sumeru (so no Scara or La Signora and their will be less clones)

The story will also include 

Getting to know and bond with your castle staff like maids or ladies in waiting (I know these are typically only given to female presenting reader but I want to write about gossip and forming friendships so this is what I'm going with) 

Quality time with each harbinger

Impressing Dottore with your basic levels of knowledge on Astronomy (since Teyvats sky is fake)

Eventually a runaway arch

Lots of tears and mental breakdowns, but don’t worry there will be comfort as well

Shenanigans 

Possibly NSFW after reader finally convinces everyone to stop calling them “your grace”

To Make a Haven (Title might change):

Imposter (but reader is the real deal) AU

Reader gets killed once by a mob of NPCs 

I want it specifically to be NPCs so the reader still has emotional attachment to the playable characters

Reader seeks out a safe and secluded place  

Teyvat awakens to readers distress and opens up a hidden area of the map to the reader that can only be accessed through very specific means. 

Reader eventually starts bringing in Hilichurls to what for now im going to be calling “the Grove” 

Reader will begin messing around and experimenting with her powers and finds a way to somewhat heal the hilichurls 

This isn't a full fix it will be like layering a curse on top of a curse in order to negate some of the effects of the original curse

The hilicurls will not return to being human they will become something else (human like but not human) 

This fic will contain way more original characters 

Reader will be more spiteful in this fic but less in like a “make everyone suffer” way and more like “lets shake up the system and make everything more challenging for people because they tried to kill me” 

This fic will span over a larger span of time in world with the reader building a full city in the hidden area Teyvat made for them.

Well those are my three ideas! after this poll is done I'm hoping to get the first chapter out with that week, but I'm a college student and it been a while since I have written fanfiction so i make no promises.

#sagau #genshin sagau #fatui sagau #fatui harbingers #fatui x reader #genshin impact fatui #self aware genshin #sagau x reader #sagau cult au #genshin impact sagau #sagau impostor au #yandere sagau

[writersmess]

Ok, first of all

I LOVED the buck fanfic you wrote the other day, my heart...melting! So, I came back with a New idea! (If you want it, of course)

Now. Season 6 Was a rollercoaster of emotions, especially when buck got Hit by lighting. What if his fiance (from your other work) is by him day and night, being all calm and optimistic, knowing buck. And when he finally draws his first breath all alone, she just falls on her knees, crying and finally letting it all out what she held back all this time?

Now, if you don't want to do it, just simply skip 😊 no one forces you. Anyway! Have a great time and take Breaks, think about yourself.

COME BACK (TO REALITY) | EVAN BUCKLEY

Pairing: Evan Buckley x fem!reader

Summary: After being proposed to by Buck in the middle of the night, you didn’t expect an accident to change the course of your lives.

Warning: Mental breakdown, crying, hospital, mention of being struck by lightning.

Word count: 1.5k

a/n: oh my god, I didn’t think it would take me so long to get back. these months have been so crazy at work, I’ve been doing crazy shifts and I’m trying to get my social life back together again. I’ve missed writing for our troublemaker boy.

I hope you enjoy it!!! And I apologize if there’s any mistakes, English is not my first language.

It can be read as a sequel to Vivid Dream.

Masterlist

...........................................

“buck had an accident, we’re at the hospital”

All it took was one message to turn your life upside down.

It’s funny how life is a great well of irony. you spend half of your life by yourself, sometimes hoping to find your soulmate, sometimes not. and then you find them. and they’re everything you didn’t even know you were looking for.

It was amazing how you and buck matched but at the same time were so different. you were adorable. had the warmest and the most welcoming smiles and hugs, and the best advice anyone could ever need. and you were determined, you knew what you wanted for your future, ever since you were a kid. and buck, well, it was buck. the boy who ran away in the hope of finding himself and finding the true meaning of happiness.

which he didn’t imagine that it would be in those sparkling eyes of yours or in that sincere smile on your lips.

and you also didn’t expect to find it so soon in a man like buck. so spontaneous, with such a beautiful smile, and with such a traumatic past.

and that was your fiancé now.

after proposing at 4am in the middle of a shift. with no ring and definitely with no preparation, but with the greatest love that could fit inside of that heart full os scars of him.

“going on a call. love you”

The opened and unanswered message screamed in the car holder as you drove through the dark and empty streets of L.A.

you didn’t know what to expect, what could have happened. you took deep and long breathes, your hands shaking as you gripped the steering wheel, your heart pounding.

“He was struck by lightning”

you knew all the risks that this job entailed, but this was something totally beyond your imagination. it was something impossible to predict.

you paced back and forth in the corner of the waiting room, not wanting to see the looks of pity from your friends. buck would be fine soon, he would face this like he faced everything else.

Eddie without saying a word stopped in front of you and waited until you noticed his presence, so he could hug you. and that’s exactly what you needed at the moment.

“only one of you can go and see him now”

before the doctor had finished his sentence you were at his side, walking with him to the room where your best friend, your fiancé, was.

and he was there. sedated. intubated. It’s like your world was one step away from falling apart. You’d never felt like this before, like control was out of your hands. you had it all figured out, all the plans, the dreams, the next steps, everything was millimetrically planned. and suddenly it wasn’t anymore. your eyes were on Buck lying on the gurney, in such a deep sleep, his face was confused, his frown slightly furrowed, as if he was in an argument, or frustrated.

a few days has passed and Buck’s condition was stable. the days had been grayer, your apartment was empty and you didn’t feel like working, at all. but you woke up every day, put a smile on your face and tried to be optimistic, you had faith that he would get well, he needed to. he needed to come back to you.

You didn’t know it, but 118 commented about you, they thought you were in a state of shock. you didn’t cry, quite the opposite, you always had a smile on your face. when someone was worried about Buck’s situation, you would put your hand on their shoulder and tell them that everything would be fine, that he would be back soon. Eddie was very worried. he knew you, and he knew that you were going to fall apart at any moment, and he hoped to be around when it happened.

you were coming into Buck’s room when you saw Chris talking to your unconscious fiancé, and your eyes automatically filled with tears. you kept quiet and stood in the corner watching the scene and could see Eddie drying his tears, and your heart sank. you needed the love of your life back, Eddie needed his best friend back, Chris needed his playmate back. Buck needed to come back, he needed to fill in the gaps that were open in so many hearts.

“hey buddy, how was your conversation with Buck?” you made yourself noticed when Chris finished talking to him and he smiled when he saw you.

“is he going to be okay right?” Eddie could see you trying hard to hold back the tears, something he didn’t even bother to hide anymore.

“of course sweety, he’ll come back to us”

***

it was mid-afternoon, you were sitting in the chair next to his bed, trying to read a book, when your mind started to take you to places you didn’t want to go. everything started coming at you hard, all these feelings. it was an anxiety crisis. you felt your heart pounding, difficulty in drawing in air, and tears began to fall.

you approached the bed and held tightly onto the hand of the man lying in that bed.

“babe I can’t do it anymore. I can’t put a smile on my face and pretend that everything is fine when it isn’t. I need you here with me. I know you’ll be fine, I know it. but Chris, Eddie, damn it, everyone, needs you back, we need you, I need you, and I don’t know how to go on without you here, I don’t know. So i need you to fight for me, for us, fight and win this battle babe, win it for me and don’t leave me, please don’t leave me”

And you couldn’t imagine it, but the other end of the line that connected Buck to this plan was in you. He clung to that, he clung to you, to the thought of having you again, and for that he fought, for you he broke the glass that separated him between dream and reality, between life and death, it was for you that everything was worth it. Because of you he would come back.

And he did it.

You could feel a grip on your hand, it was light, but it was there. your eyes widened and your heart skipped a beat. this couldn’t be a reflex, you couldn’t believe it was. and it really wasn’t, your Buck was coming back, he was reacting.

As if he’d sensed it, Eddie appeared in the room with the coffee he’d gone to grab, at the exactly moment your knees failed, and he held you.

“I-Is he...?”

“Hey hey, calm down”

You couldn’t complete the sentence, and before your friend could question you, you heard a weak cough, it was Buck, he really was there. back to you.

You were holding Buck’s hand as if your life depended on it, and to be honest, it kind of did. you, who had never fallen in love in your life, were completely surrendered to those blue eyes that you had begged to see again.

You didn’t notice the moment Eddie left the room, but when your eyes met Buck’s, you burst into tears. He couldn’t say much, and you didn’t even need or want him to try, he was there, that’s all that mattered at the moment. you had your head resting on your intertwined hands on the bed, and the sobs coming from your lips left the words stuck in your throat and in your mind. Buck slowly and painfully raised his trembling hand, reaching your head and resting his hand there.

He waited until you calmed down, and his chest tightened at the way you looked at him. your lips trembling and your face wet from the tears that kept falling down your cheeks.

“you’re back”

“for you” his voice was weak and hoarse.

“I never thought I could love someone the way I love you, buck. please don’t do it again, I know I can’t take it one more time” your voice was low and trembling.

“I proposed to you, I had to come back to make sure it would happen,” he whispered with that little smile on his lips.

“You idiot, you made me a promise to love me for the rest of my days, I was going to pick you up wherever you were,” you replied in a whisper and placed a light kiss on his lips, afraid of hurting him.

“I love you, and i’m going to keep that promise” he said and you nodded your head.

that intimate moment between you lasted only a few minutes, then the nurses and doctor entered the room to check on Buck and as soon as they allowed his friends to come in, the mess was made. there was laughter and loud conversation, happy hugs and stories about the day of the accident, you could hear “too soon?” too many times in a short period of time and all you could do was laugh.

You could see the happiness in your fiancé’s eyes as everyone gathered around, and you finally felt your heart calm down. he was really there, he came back to you and you could finally live out your vivid dreams together.

#911 imagine #evan buckley imagine #evan buckley x reader #911 fanfic #buck x reader #evan buck buckley

[spidernuggets]

may I request form the Jason prompts thing? 4 and 7, maybe gender neutral or male reader comforts Jason after he gets a flashback or a nightmare or something along those lines?

Jason Todd x Reader

"Can you just- hold my hand.. please" "You. Me. Cuddle."

You probably shouldn't have had your headphones on at full blast this late at night. If you didn't, then you probably would've heard Jason's footsteps sounding heavier than usual. You probably would've noticed the darker bags under his eyes and the frown that looked like it had been permanently stitched to look that way on his face.

You were cooking a late... or early.. you weren't too sure, but you were cooking a good meal for Jason when he'd come home. You didn't think he'd come earlier than expected. So you didn't notice his presence or his depressed state.

All Jason wanted to do was rip his stupid armour off of him, get into something more comfortable, and go to bed. He didn't have it in him right now to give you your daily affection. But during times like this, where Jason is too mentally exhausted to express his love, you always understood. And Jason always appreciated you for it, especially how he constantly tells himself that it isn't fair to you and that you deserve better. But you always shushed him whenever he brought up the subject by giving him a big smooch.

He made a beeline to your shared room to finally change out of his armour. He was having another episode, and you'd always notice and give him space. But you didn't even know he was home. Jason didn't know you didn't know he was home.

You were vibing a little too much to the loud music you were listening to and accidently knocked over a small steel pot that was placed by the edge of the sink.

"Shit," you muttered, rushing over to the fallen pot, placing it in the sink and wiping off the residue on the floor. That's when you heard a loud sound of something falling over. Someone was in your room.

You quickly check your phone. Jason always messaged you when he was on his way home. And there were no recent messages sent by him. Your heart raced, scared an intruder had broken in and was in your room.

So you grabbed the bat that leaned against the corner of the kitchen, holding it up in the air, ready to swing at whoever had the dumb idea of breaking in. You were relieved that Jason taught you simple defence strategies.

When you shoulder your way through the door, you are ready to swing, but you immediately stop. Your eyes widen when you say a crying Jason Todd tucked away in the corner of your shared bedroom, wearing nothing but his boxers, sitting up in a foetal position, muttering quiet pleads.

"No- no, no please. Let me- let me go, stop," you can barely hear what he's saying. His voice sounds hoarse and dry, and his chest is heaving. His breathing is heavy and unsteady.

When you softly call out his name, Jason slowly lofts his head up. But what he sees instead of you holding the bat, it's the Joker holding that damn crowbar.

"NO," he starts screaming, holding his arms out in defence, trying to back into the wall impossibly closer. "GET- GET THE FUCK AWAY," his voice cracks and he starts choking on his extremely dry throat. You know that with what he sees, you can't get yourself any closer. So you slowly put your hands up to surrender, making sure Jason sees, and you slowly walk out the door and gently shut it behind you.

You know that Jason needs his space to calm down. Every breakdown takes a different length of time when Jason would calm down. Sometimes, it would be 15 minutes. Other times, it would be a day or two. Either way, you patiently wait for him to come back to you.

You made yourself a good, hot cup of chai and sat on the couch, reading Jason's annotated 'Lord of the Flies'. You make wure not to where your headphones now, preparing your love and care for when Jason comes around.

You turn your head when you hear the bedroom door quietly open, followed by sniffles and the sounds of Jason's feet padding along the wooden floorboards. You send him a soft smile as he walks over to you. But he only stops at a distance.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles, avoiding eye contact. He couldn't look at you in fear that you'd be looking at him in fear or.. or hate or anger. He couldn't bear seeing those kinds of looks in your eyes.

You sigh, and Jason thinks that you'd scream at him back or something. But the little voice in his head is yelling at you, saying that you should be screaming at him. Because you don't deserve to be with someone who can't control what he sees or when he has a meltdown.

But you stand up, closing the distance towards you, slowly and cautiously reaching your hands up towards his face, cradling his cheeks as you caress them with your thumbs.

"You wanna talk about what happened?" You ask. You wanted to laugh at the thought of if you asked that any softer, Jason wouldn't have heard you the first time. But right now, you're concerned about the state of him.

"I- I just.." He hiccups, and you whisper to him, telling him to take his time. "A kid died tonight. Bevause I wasn't fast enough. I wasn't able to save her. She was just a child, Y/n," he cries, fresh tears rolling down over the dried ones. "Bruce and Dick sent me home early because I almost killed the guy who killed her, and..." He stops, choking out a sob. You run your fingers through his hair, listening and patiently waiting for him to continue.

"Bruce said that..." He beginds to say, but his sentence dies out. He doesn't know if he can repeat what Vruce had told him.

"What? What did Bruce say?" You ask. You appreciated Bruce's dedication and commitment as Batman, and you respected his morals of not acting as jury, judge, and executiomer. But most times, Bruce makes a lot of decisions where he believes that he always makes the right decision, where he's a hypocrite towards his morals. Minus the executioner. He shows this off by making decisions on what he decided is best for his sons. And sometimes, Bruce makes the wrong decision.

"He said that if I killed the guy, I might as well be at the same level of sanity as the Joker," he says quietly, a whine coming out at the end followed by another sob.

Sorry, what?

Your soft expression turns into a sharp glare. Bruce said what? You always knew Bruce said shit he didn't mean just to get his point across, but this is crossing a line that you will not excuse.

"He said what?" You snarled. You wanted to slam Bruce's head through the wall.

Jason continues his explanation. "When I came home, I just wanted to go to bed. But- but I heard something fall. It was loud. It... It just sounded like the crowbar."

You instantly felt so much guilt. You weren't focused, and you knocked over the pot. You were part of the reason that Jason had a massive freak out.

You held his face once more, bringing his head closer to yours, leaning your forhead against his.

"I'm so sorry, my love. That was my fault," you admit. "I wasn't focused, I had my music on so loud, I accidently knocked over a pot- I'm so, so sorry."

Jason sniffles once more. "It's okay," he weakly says. "Just wanna sleep."

You nod, letting go of his face and following him into your room.

When he gets into bed, you notice how he lies himself at the edge of the bed. This tells you how he just needs your presence but minimum contact.

"You need a pillow in between?" You ask as you sat on the bed. In times similar to this, you'd put a pillow in between the two of you so no sudden contact would scare Jason.

"No.. no I.." He hesitates as you tilt your head in confusion. ""Can you just- hold my hand.. please" He asks, looking up at you.

You smile, lying yourself at a safe distance so you wouldn't roll over to Jason in your sleep. You tuck one arm under your head, your other hand reaching out to hold his. Jason moves his hand to intertwine his fingers with yours. And for the first time for the night, he feels like he can breathe.

He closes his eyes, hoping to fall asleep soon. And you stay up, watching over him til he falls asleep. And maybe you stayed awake a little longer to make sure he doesn't have a nightmare.

The next morning, you wake up significantly earlier than you normally would. You look to your side and see your hand still connected to Jason's. You slowly let go, pausing when Jason starts stirring, but you carefully get out of bed when he continues to sleep peacefully.

You took the opportunity to start making Jason's favourite breakfast. A quick fried egg and avocado toast. But before yoh can even take the pan out, you hear Jason's heavy footsteps come out of the bedroom.

"Hi, Jay. I'm just gonna make you some breakfast, yeah?" You say. When you turn around, you see that Jason is definitely in a happier mood than yesterday, and you smile widely.

But Jason shakes his head at your offer. He points to you, then himself, then throws his thumb behind him, pointing towards your bedroom.

"You. Me. Cuddle." He says, a small smile tugging at his lips, and this gets you giddy.

"What about breakfast? You didn't eat last night," you say concerned. But Jason just scoffs, walking towards you and throwing you over his shoulder, giving your butt a light slap before walking towards your room.

"Someone wole up in the right side of the bed," you laugh as Jason lays you down on the bed.

He walks around the bed, lying himself down too, opening his arms, waiting for you to come into his embrace, in which you happily throw yourself into.

Your arms are wrapped around his torso as his own are cradling your figure. His lips are resting against your forhead while your head is laod on his chest.

"Thank you," he mutters. "For last night."

"Of course, Jay," you reply. "I'm always going to be here for you. No matter what," you promise.

"And thanks for putting up with me," he says even quieter, feeling his lips mumble against your forhead.

Your brows knot together, your head lifting up to look at him. "Jason, I don't 'put up with you'," you say in disbelief. "I do this because I love you. Unconditionally. Why wouldn't I be there for my favourite person?" You say, pressing a kiss on his chin.

Jason smiles. Even if a part of him will always think you deserve better than him, he just lives in the moment and basks in your everlasting love.

"I love you," he says.

"I love you too."

#jason todd #jason todd is my life #red hood #jason todd x reader #titans jason todd #dc titans #i love jason todd #jason todd titans #red hood x reader #jason todd headcanon #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #jason todd x gender neutral reader #jason todd x male reader #jason todd ff #jason todd fluff #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd fic #jason todd angst #red hood x fem!reader #red hood x gender neutral reader #red hood x male reader #red hood x you #red hood x y/n #red hood fluff #red hood fic #red hood fanfiction #red hood angst

[mystsee]

MY LOVE ✦ SIMON GHOST RILEY

¡FLUFFTOBER!

✦ about: simon was back from his mission with one purpose on his mind, you :D

✦ content: soft!simon, fluff, slight nsfw themes, make outs, established relationship, little anxiety, cuddles

✦ a.n: somehow seeing that ghost cosplay irl today gave a sudden burst of inspiration, INEEDTHATMAN

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

today was a very tiring work day, having to write a full written document of what was spoken in yesterday’s meeting was not tiring, but boring.

re listening the conversations at least 5x trying to understand what they where saying, sometimes the british folks in here tended to speak a bit fast, making it hard for you to understand whatever the heck they were discussing!

you could say, ever since simon left for that mission, you’ve been like a lost puppy around base. you’ve been used to just do everything with him next to you.

every time you sat down to work, there he was, by your side—sometimes even on his lap, your favorite place. his fingers would playfully trace patterns on your stomach, occasionally grabbing at the adorable rolls or gently pulling you closer, resting his face on your shoulder just watching whatever you were doing, sometimes even helping you when you were stressed or tired

it was like a sweet distraction, and his touch was nothing short of heavenly. his hands seemed to know the perfect spots, making every moment a delightful pause in your routine.

but now, you found yourself buried under the weight of the workload, yearning for the comforting touch that once turned mundane hours into blissful interludes.

the room echoed with the ticking of the clock, each passing second amplifying the anxiety that clung to your shoulders. the playful distractions had faded, replaced by a pressing realization that this night would be a lonely one.

you wanted to sleep, to escape the mounting pressure, but the looming uncertainty about simon’s return kept you on edge. the ache of not knowing when simon would be back or if he was okay gnawed at your nerves, pushing you to the brink of a nervous breakdown.

you craved his return more than ever. and simon was no different than you.

the separation, now stretching into a month, had carved an ache in his heart. each passing day fueled his anticipation, and the nights without you felt longer than ever. the need to have you back in his arms, to feel the warmth of your presence, became an insatiable craving.

now, on the plane back, he could almost taste the reunion. the hum of the engines seemed to sync with the rhythm of his heartbeat, both propelling him towards the destination that held the promise of your embrace.

his mind was a whirlwind of images – the way you'd smile when he surprised you, the laughter that echoed in shared spaces, and the softness of your presence as you slept in his arms.

as the plane carried him closer to you, his eagerness reached a crescendo. he was ready to step off that plane and into the warmth of your world, to wrap you in his arms and just keep you there forever.

and it almost seemed like that was about to become true. simon was out of the plane in an instant, the cold hitting his face but he didn’t care one bit, he just cared about finding you.

he just got rid of the big cold jacket and his vest, not wanting any barriers when he finally felt you again, went straight to your room. it was late already, close to midnight, you’d probably be sleeping he thought!

but it was quite the contrary, you were about to cry, it was the 10th time you heard this small 5 second fragment, and you couldn’t understand a shit, it was like he was speaking a whole other language, enough to make you frustrated.

you were on your desk, knees close your chest, head on top of your knees, and your index finger just clicking and clicking again everytime the audio stopped. it was making you mad.

two minutes later you just couldn’t anymore, your mind was overthinking about simon, simon and simon. gasping for breath, you needed fresh air, your feet carrying you to the backyards, a retreat from the suffocating walls. the chill in the air bit through, but the warmth of your fluffy sweatshirt provided a comforting shield.

meanwhile, Simon, nearing your hallway, was jarred by the abrupt slam of a door. curiosity knitted into his features as he wondered about the disturbance at such an hour. time seemed to pause when he turned the corner, catching sight of you. your world hanging on the precipice of a breakdown, weariness etched on your face as your gaze lingered on the ground.

unbeknownst to you, simon punctuated his steps more, you, lost in the swirl of your own emotions, remained oblivious until the familiar cadence of footsteps broke through your solitude. at the speed of light, your eyes flickered up, and there he was – your simon, making his way toward you.

"simon" you breathed out, a soft whisper escaping your lips. the astonishment painted across your face mirrored the surge of emotions within.

the uncertainty of when he would return made the sight of him standing before you, muscles defined beneath a black sweatshirt, feel like a dream. as you sprang running toward him, the anticipation built, and the tears you hadn't realized were brimming spilled over.

without a second thought, you dashed towards him, his arms already open wide for you. as your arms wound around he whispered “my love” in a voice so relieved that it melted away the distance and uncertainty.

as your faces drew near, his breath whispered against your hair, a whisper of promises and unwavering devotion.

“i missed you so so much lovie” said simon while hugging your head even closer to him. his voice sounded so soft it was even unreal to him.

his hands traced soothing circles on your back, a gesture so familiar and comforting. it was as if he was trying to convey all the love that words couldn’t capture.

but simon wanted more. he effortlessly lifted you, your legs instinctively wrapping around his hips. the world blurred as he spun you around, a gesture that felt like a dance in the moonlit night. his arms, a fortress of warmth, held you securely.

simon pressed you against him, his heart beating in tandem with yours. the fabric of your hoodie pressed against his sweatshirt, and the chill in the air was forgotten in the warmth of shared laughter.

as if memory muscle, your hands instinctively went to his balaclava, pulling it to the middle of his face, the familiarity of his lips, so soft and kissable, now revealed, made your heart swell.

without hesitation, you kissed him, pouring all the longing and joy of the past month into that single moment. it was a kiss filled with the weight of separation and the relief of reunion. his lips met yours in perfect harmony, and the world seemed to pause, allowing this shared ecstasy to unfold.

simon, in that moment, became not just a figure of your imagination during the lonely nights but a tangible reality, warm and alive.

in response to your passionate embrace, simon deepened the kiss, pulling you even closer as if trying to defy the very forces that separated you. his lips melded with yours, making all kind of noises of appreciation, of being back with you, making you even more needy to be near him.

he missed you as much as you missed him.

“i missed you so much simon” simon could hear the agitation from your voice. he knew you’d be having very heavy work this week, you had a very important meeting, a very important step in your career. yet simon couldn’t help but feel disappointed for not being there.

“i’m so sorry i wasn’t there love” “don’t you worry about that simon” you said looking him straight to his eyes “all i care is that you’re here now” he saw you smile, the smile that made him all warm inside, the smile he absolutely loved seeing every morning.

“how about we take a shower big guy” simon just laughed, he came straight to see you he forgot he did just came in fact from the dessert, probably stinking.

the shower was filled with love, your hands expertly massaging tender spots on his back making simon groan from satisfaction. washing his hair, his face, his arms, all of him, every now and then just you clinging onto him to hug him for a few minutes. he was here again with you.

you two were basically one in that shower, not a small space in between you.

simon kept turning you over to help you “clean” yourself, but that just meant him just massaging your breasts, waist, bum, basically all the things he absolutely loved holding on to when you were distracted. and you laughing at him “you’re getting distracted again” “i’m sorry i just can’t deny them attention” you just rolled your eyes, but couldn’t deny how much you loved the attention you were receiving hehe.

after cleaning up, simon changed into the hoodie you absolutely adored, and laid in bed waiting for you. he saw all your work piled up on your desk, clearly seeing the stress you were going through moments before he found you.

as you went outside the bathroom, you saw simon, literally waiting for you, patting his chest. your second favorite place. smiling you reached to his side, cuddling next to him, clinging like a koala, your leg on top of his hip, hands on his neck, the other under his back hair, just playing with it, making simon shiver once again from satisfaction.

"how was the dessert?" you inquired, your curiosity piqued about simon’s experience in a place you've never been, let alone lived in for a month. his voice, deep and resonant, rumbled like an earthquake, making you giggle.

"ugly as hell" came his reply, and you couldn't help but laugh at the honesty. "what do you mean? didn’t you see any camels?" you added playfully.

simon chuckled, his laughter carrying a hint of amusement. "oh, plenty of camels. i even tried to have a conversation with one, but they're not great at small talk."

you couldn't help but snicker at the mental image of simon engaged in a one-sided chat with a camel in the vast desert. the quirky exchange became a moment of shared laughter, turning the conversation about a "dessert" into a sweet and funny memory.

along the conversation, you shifted positions, now lying on your side, and simon followed suit. the moonlight painted the room in a gentle glow as simon’s fingers delicately played with strands of your hair. you were pressed against his chest, your leg draped over his hip, creating a cozy tableau that felt like a warm hug.

with a softness in his voice, simon began lulling you to sleep with tales of the mission. each word was a whispered melody, painting vivid pictures of his adventures that unfolded in the vast desert.

"imagine this," he began, his voice a blend of playfulness and warmth, "a camel giving me side-eye because I accidentally interrupted its afternoon siesta. i swear, I've never seen such a judgmental camel."

you couldn't help but chuckle at the mental image, feeling the vibrations of your laughter against simon’s chest. his tales continued, each one sprinkled with his unique sense of humor.

as his hands gently massaged your hips and traveled up to your chest, you couldn’t help but feel a wave of cuteness wash over you. the tenderness in his touch was a language of its own, expressing care and affection without uttering a word.

you found yourself in a dreamlike state, murmuring sweet nothings and declarations of love. "i love your hands" you blabbered, a smile playing on your lips as simon’s warmth enveloped you.

his heart swelled with affection, seeing your drowsy contentment. he absolutely loved how affectionate you became when you were sleepy.

simon, feeling the warmth of your love, whispered, "and you don't know how much I love you." the words lingered in the air, a sweet promise exchanged in the quiet of the night.

as sleep claimed you, simon held you close, savoring the precious moment of having you in his arms again. he slept like a baby, content in the embrace of love that had transcended the distance of a month, finding solace in the shared dreams and whispered affirmations that filled the night.

he felt complete again ♡

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

i live for soft simon 🥲 wishing i was reader rn, anyway!

hope i made this fluffy enough jiji!!!

#simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley fic #simon riley fluff #simon ghost riley fluff #cod fic #call of duty #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley x you #ghost cod #simon ghost x you #simon ghost riley x female #ghost cod fic #ghost cod fluff #fluff #fluffy #fluffy fluffy #soft simon riley #soft simon ghost riley

[itsbeeble]

If I (Lovin Me pt 3)

Summary: Jeonghan has made so many mistakes. He’s let so many things slip away, so many things that he’s cherished. He won’t let that happen again. He won’t let you slip away from him anymore.

Genre: Angst, fluff, College!au

Pairing: Yoon Jeonghan x fem!reader (featuring Joshua, S.Coups, Hoshi, Mingyu, and DK)

WC: ~6.7k

Read other parts: pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3

WARNINGS UNDER THE CUT

Warnings: Alcohol consumption (not a ton though), mild flirting, Jeonghan is sad, reader is sad, everyone is sad, swearing, name calling (not the fun kind), a few mental breakdowns, the reader knows she was being manipulated and was somewhat okay with it (idk just read it), Joshua is flirty but like in a best friend kinda way, everyone knows Jeonghan and Y/N are simps, Jeonghan MEGA SIMP

Listen to If I by Seventeen for full effect

A/N: In honor of me reaching 300 followers, here is part 3 of Lovin me! I appreciate all of you for reading this and I hope you continue to enjoy my works <3

~

Our path, our promise to be together

Is already thwarted and you walk away, turning your back on me

It reduces to a single dot

It's too empty outside of that interest

I hope that that dot

Comes back before me and turns into you

“Have I ever told you how stupid you are?” 

Jeonghan is sitting on the couch, head down and his hands tangled in the strands of his hair. Across from him stands Joshua, Seungcheol, Soonyoung, and Seokmin. He barely makes the effort to listen to his friends as they yell at him. He wants to say that he doesn’t know where those words came from. He wants to say he didn’t mean to say any of that, that he was just mad and didn’t know what else to do. 

But that’s a lie. 

He knew exactly what he was saying. Though the reason he said it is something that can’t be found, he’d wanted to tell you that since the night of the party. 

“Are you even listening to us?” Soonyoung’s gaze is hard. There’s nothing but anger in his eyes, and Jeonghan feels the guilt beginning to seep into his bones again. “What the fuck were you even thinking?”

“Soonyoung,” Joshua, ever the voice of reason, cuts in. “Leave him be.”

“Shua—” A glare from the older man and Soonyoung shuts his mouth, leaving the room shortly after. 

“Seok, make sure Soonyoung stays out.” The other man doesn’t really say anything, just shoots Jeonghan a murderous look before stalking out of the room. 

There’s a certain tension building between the three remaining men. Jeonghan keeps his head down, avoiding the judging glare the Seungcheol obviously has glued on and the disgust that Joshua tries to force down and replace with pity. The two, having known Y/N a little more than everyone else, were rightfully angered. 

“Do you have anything to say to defend yourself?” 

Jeonghan finally lifts his head, his cheeks red from anger and embarrassment. He wants to scream and yell and throw things and hit the men in front of him. He wants to run out the door, find you, and fix things. He wants to do so much, but all he can do is bite back a sob. 

He’d never been a particularly emotional man. He’d never been one for crying, thinking that there was no point in being upset over something from the past. His family had always been stoic people, keeping their emotions to themselves and never letting the public see them come apart. Jeonghan had grown up the same way. Jeonghan had thought that he’d stay that way.

Then he met you.

Emotional. Broken. Crying over dogs that die in movies. He’d been disgusted by how open you were with your thoughts. Disgusted that you showed your struggles to the world and didn’t care if you embarrassed yourself.

~

The first time Jeonghan officially met you was in the spring of your sophomore year. He was a semester ahead of you and had convinced himself that he was far superior to every other student at this university. He’d seen you in passing, in some classes the semesters prior, and had bumped into you in the halls once or twice. Never had you spoken. Never had either of you thought the other was important. 

He approached you for the first time while you were studying for your Organic Chem final. You’d been crying quietly at the time, muffling your sobs with the sleeve of your sweater. It worked, mostly. But apparently, Jeonghan, from across the library, believed that you were far too loud and far too pathetic for his liking. 

“You’re weak.” He stares down at you, standing at the head of your table in the library while you try to stop your tears. You look up at him, tears not slowing and a confused pout on your face. His lip curls, anger washing over him in tidal waves. 

“Excuse me?”

“You’re weak,” he repeats. “Pathetic, really, that you’re crying over something so trivial.”

“Why do you care what I’m crying about?” You ask.

“Oh, I couldn’t give less of a shit about you,” he smiles, but it’s condescending. He doesn’t care what you feel after this, he just wants his opinion of you known so you can stay out of his way. “I care that you’re annoying as shit and bothering me while I try to get stuff done without listening to your pathetic blubbering.” 

You’re shocked, he can tell, but that just means that his words will sink in and hopefully you can shut up. 

Unfortunately, he underestimated you. And, unfortunately, he failed to see the iced coffee beside your textbooks until it was soaking into his hair and the crisp white button-down he’d made the fatal mistake of wearing that day. 

“Who…” he seethes, “the fuck do you think you are?” 

“Who do you think you are?” You snap back. “I didn’t fucking do anything to you, so why do you think you have the right to come over here and insult me? You don’t even know me you egotistical rich prick.” He would never have admitted it to you, but he’d admired how you stood up to him. How you didn’t bend to his will just because of who he was, what his reputation was. He’d admired that you didn’t even recognize him, although, at the same time, it bothered him to no end. Jeonghan wanted you to know him. He wanted to break that strong will of yours, no matter what it took. 

Especially now that you’d dumped coffee over his head and forever stained his favorite shirt.

~

It was months later— September of your junior year, to be exact— that he allowed himself to let his guard down for the first time. At least, for the first time in front of you, of all people. Jeonghan, frankly, couldn’t help the disgust overwhelming every other emotion when you’d approached him outside his frat’s party. He’d tucked himself away, out of the view of all partygoers, hidden by the branches of an old oak tree. His heart beat rapidly, slamming against his ribs time and time again until he thought the bones were going to break. 

A crunch in the leaves behind him and he flinches, tearing his head out of his hands to wipe the tears from his eyes. 

He catches sight of you, and you him. 

You’re wearing a skirt much too short and a shirt far too tight to be considered comfortable. You walked in heels far too tall for your feet to stay stable in, and he watches you wobble over to him. He can’t find it in him to scoff or laugh or mock you. He lets you sit beside him, playing with your thumbs and not saying anything. 

You listen to him cry, but you don’t make fun of him as his family would. You don’t comfort him. He’s grateful to you. He’d never admit it, but he was grateful that you just sat there quietly. 

He lets his head slip down and rest on your shoulder, and he feels you tense up. Jeonghan half expects you to shove him off, with how he’d treated you. 

You don’t. 

The next day, you went back to normal. He knew it hurt you when he started openly berating you again, mocking the way you dress and the way you talk. He saw the tears pricking in your eyes and scoffs. How dare you think that things would be different. How naive could one possibly be?

After your class together, though, he’d made excuses to his friends so he could catch up to you. They didn’t question him. They never did. 

“Hey,” he called out to you. The halls were near empty. Most people were either studying or in class, so nobody would see him approaching you. 

You turn to him, your eyes narrowed. 

“Yes?” Your answer is simple, your voice quiet but clearly annoyed. He frowns. 

“I just— I hope you know that last night changed nothing about how I feel about you.” You raise an eyebrow, and he goes to speak again, but you interrupt him. 

“Why do you hate me so much?” He runs his tongue over his lip and shrugs. 

“Because you’re easy.”

~

“I told her she was easy.” Jeonghan looks between Joshua and Seungcheol with this…distraught look on his face. “I told her that she was an easy target. Like she was someone that was meant to be used.” Joshua mumbles some curses under his breath and pinches the bridge of his nose, stepping away momentarily. 

“When did you say that?” Seungcheol asks quietly. Jeonghan can practically feel the rage building inside the older man, can feel it bubbling up inside him and waiting to boil over. 

“During…while I was talking to her. I told her just a little bit ago and— and I told her that a few months ago. Back when we first started this whole thing.” More tears are beginning to well up. He can feel them starting to roll down his cheeks but his body is shaking so badly he can’t move. “She knew from the start that I hadn’t given a shit about her. Why did she— why would she agree to that arrangement if she’d known I was just using her?”

“Because she cared about you, Jeonghan.” Joshua snaps. “Because even though she knew you hated her, she also knew that you felt you had no one who could help save you from yourself. She saw that you were just killing yourself slowly, from the inside out, and she wanted to help you no matter what it cost her.”

~

“Y/N?” A tap on your shoulder and you flinch, jolted out of the trance your econ textbook had you in. Joshua stands to your right, two coffees in hand and his backpack over one shoulder. You smile at him and he sets the drinks down, away from any of your papers. “I figured you’d need something to keep you going.” A pretty smile, one that would have anyone’s heart fluttering. 

Yours wasn’t excluded from that.

“I appreciate that, Joshua.” His bag drops to the floor, and he watches you for a few moments. He watches you spin the cup he’d set closer to you, tracing your nail across the lid while you highlight any information that stood out to you within the pages. There’s no discomfort between you two. There’s no elephant in the room. You know why he’s there, but you also know he’s not there for Jeonghan. He’s there for you. 

“Are you…Are you doing okay?” Your eyes flick up to his again and you shrug.

“Good as I can be. You heard what he said. I know you did.” He nods slowly. 

“Yeah…” You smile sadly.

“I should’ve known it, really.” Joshua’s head jerks back slightly, his eyes narrowing at you to try and figure out what you mean. “That he didn’t really care about me.” 

“That’s not true, Y/N.” Joshua shakes his head and you shrug again.

“Sure it is. I mean…I don’t doubt that I was a form of comfort for him and that he grew attached, but at the end of the day I didn’t do much more than that. I was different. I was something that he wasn’t used to, and he liked that. Maybe that thought somehow convinced him he was in love with me but that’s…I don’t believe he did. Because if he loved me, why was he saying those things to my face? Why was he…why was he so cruel?” 

Your eyes are beginning to sting with the presence of tears, and you use the sleeves of your shirt to wipe them away. Joshua watches you sadly and curiously. You want to laugh. Only a year ago, you’d been in a similar position with Jeonghan. Him crying under that stupid oak tree with you watching him and not saying anything. 

“I don’t know, Y/N…I truly…” Joshua inhales and sinks back into his chair. “I wish I could give you some kind of explanation for the things he did. He’s…he’s always been a bit rough around the edges. He’s only started opening up to us because of you. Because you taught him that it’s okay to feel things like that.”

“I didn’t teach him shit.”

“That’s not true, baby.” He shuts his mouth when the name slips out, and he waits for you to correct him. When you don’t, he continues. “You taught him what it felt like to love someone, whether it was romantic or a form of obsession. You taught him that it was okay to cry. That it was okay to want things, to need things.”

“I’m not going to forgive him, Joshua.” 

“I’m not asking you to.” He leans forward. “I’m asking you to see from his perspective why he said those things. I know that it’s no excuse. I know he should’ve just ignored you from the start if he knew he was gonna speak so horribly to you. But he didn’t, and that led to both of you getting hurt. I want you to just…Just try to understand a bit more about him, okay?”

You dig the nail of your thumb into the side of your index finger, ignoring the sting it sends through your nerves. 

“I just wanted to help him.” 

“I know, baby. I know.” 

“Why did he…Why did I let this happen?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. He just…he isn’t the easiest person in the world to get along with.” You try to laugh but it comes out in a quiet sob. You raise your hand to your mouth, biting into your skin to keep yourself quiet, and Joshua moves to the chair next to you. You let him pull you into his arms, one of his arms wrapping around your shoulders and the other running up and down your back. In the back of your mind, you wonder if this is why Jeonghan is so cruel. He never had anyone to truly comfort him. He never had someone to smother his doubts and worries, to give him a hug when he was struggling. You can’t help but wonder what he’d be like if he’d received that love. Would he have been kinder? Would he have loved you the way he repeatedly claimed to?

You don’t know. And, now, you don’t really want to.

~

“What did she say?” Jeonghan is pacing the span of his bedroom, biting the nail of his thumb until there’s practically nothing left to bite. Joshua sits in the middle of the older man’s bed, legs crossed and body leaning forward to rest his arms on his knees. “Was she mad? Did she ask to see me? Did she yell?” A hundred questions are running through Jeonghan’s mind, and Joshua attempts to keep up with the ones that manage to slip out of his lips. 

“She wasn’t…mad, per se?” He’s questioning himself before he even begins. “She was more, like, sad. I think. She was sad and confused. Just like you! Man, you guys are perfect for each other!” He attempts a joke, but Jeonghan just scowls. 

“You’re not funny, Hong Jisoo.”

“I know.”

“What else did she say?”

“She…She was really set on the fact that you chose her, of all people, to use. But she also knew from the start why. She wanted to help you, at first. To help you break out of the shell you’d created around yourself. And then she let it go too far and, well, here we are.”

“So she doesn’t forgive me?” Jeonghan leans against his dresser and tips his head back with a sigh. Joshua watches him carefully, gnawing on his lip in thought. 

“Not yet, at least. I think you just… I think you need to put in the effort to fix things. I don’t think apologies are really gonna do anything anymore. Especially not with what happened last time you tried to fix things.” 

“You’re still not funny.” Jeonghan hisses. Joshua scoffs and sits up straight. 

“I wasn’t kidding. Han, you’re on a losing streak in terms of apologies. Every time you even try, you make things worse for yourself and for her. I want to help you, but if you keep fucking up then I can’t! I won’t sacrifice my friendship with her because you decided to be a fucking moron!”

Joshua’s voice echoes around the small bedroom, and Joshua throws his body back onto the mattress. He knows he shouldn’t have gotten himself involved in the situation. Knows he should’ve stayed away from you in the first place, no matter how drawn to you he was. But Jeonghan is his best friend. How can he leave his best friend to suffer like this while he prances around, flaunting the fact that he’s able to stay in Y/N’s life and Jeonghan isn’t?

That’s cruel. And no matter what Joshua thinks of his best friend at this moment, he won’t lower himself down to Jeonghan’s level. Not now, not ever. 

“So what’s the plan?” Jeonghan is laying by Joshua’s head, his legs dangling off the edge of the mattress.

“Plan?” Joshua echoes, his head turning to look at the older man as best he can. 

“You know, the plan to help me fix things?” Jeonghan frowns. “You do…have a plan…right?”

“Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, I have a plan.”

~

You walk into your lecture hall the next day, and there’s a muffin and coffee in front of your seat. Just plain black coffee and a chocolate chip muffin. Nothing special, except for the bright blue sticky note attached to the paper cup. Your first thought is that someone put it by the wrong spot, that it was for someone else that sits near you. 

You lift the note a little, trying to find any clues as to who this could be for. A name for the recipient, a name from the sender. Anything. Fortunately, you find both. Scrawled in messy handwriting is a note for you. 

It’s hard to ESPRESSO my feelings for you, sweetheart,

But MUFFIN compares to you <3

Enjoy the coffee and the muffin, 

I know you have a lot of classes today

I love you.

~ JH

Your second thought of the day is to tear up the note and throw away everything he left on your desk. Anger and confusion are beginning to boil inside you, but you know you can’t let it show. Not when he walks in just moments later with Joshua and Seungcheol in tow. There’s no girl hanging off his arm this time. In fact, for the first time since he’s met you, he gives a smile and a small wave. You don’t return the actions, just sink into your seat and lower your head so you can’t possibly lock eyes with him so you won’t have to interact with him.

Unfortunately, he sits down right next to you. He doesn’t say anything to you. He just sits down and, shockingly, takes out his laptop and a notebook. You glance at him out of the corner of your eye but look toward the front of the room just moments later. He’s comfortable. You can tell just by the way he smiles and lets himself lean back in his chair. He’s usually sitting up straight, eyes straight forward and lips drawn into a line. 

People are staring at the two of you. People are whispering, just quiet enough that you can’t hear what they’re saying about you. You imagine that they’re shocked, confused, and a bit upset that he chose you instead of them. If only they knew the extent of your relationship.

You wish that you could push him out of his chair, tell him to fuck off, and leave you again like you’d told him to only a few days prior.

But you can’t. Embarrassing the so-called king of the school would set you aside as a social outcast and you would likely be relentlessly harassed for the rest of your time here. 

Instead, you choose to push the coffee and muffin aside and focus on the lecture up front. You ignore Jeonghan, and how he examines your side profile. You ignore how your stomach growls and the smell of the muffin is growing stronger. You won’t cave. Not to him. Not anymore.

~

The next day, you walk into your first class and there’s another muffin. Joshua sits in the chair beside yours, and he looks up with a smile when you approach. 

“Someone left you something,” his tone is teasing while he pushes the wrapped treat toward you. You scoff and push it back toward him. 

“I don’t want it. You have it.”

“He doesn’t want me to have it,” Joshua argues and shows you the little sticky note on the coffee. “Look! Words cannot ESPRESSO how much you BEAN to me, sweetheart! Isn’t that so cute?” 

“I hate you. And I hate him too.” You drop your bag and slump forward. Joshua pushes both items in front of you one last time and rubs your back comfortingly. “I don’t understand him, Shua.”

“Eh, does anyone?” A sigh from you, but no response. You’re too tired to deal with this. Too tired to care that Joshua would absolutely be telling Jeonghan about his success. You take a sip of the coffee and your eyebrow arches. You’d never told Jeonghan your coffee order. 

“How the fuck did he figure out what my favorite coffee order was?” You shoot an accusing glance at Joshua who just rolls his eyes.

“I didn’t tell him anything. Did it ever occur to you that maybe he paid as much attention to you as you did him?” 

“No.” You say flatly. “He didn’t pay attention to me. He hated me, remember?” Joshua grimaces and you turn to the front of the room. 

~

The week continues like that. Jeonghan would leave a coffee, a stupid note, and a muffin at your seat during your first class. If he shared that class with you, he sat right next to you. He tried to make conversation once, his voice and hands shaking while he did so. He was so nervous to just say hi, and you were cold in the way you shot him down. He didn’t waver, however. He kept that quiet, relaxed confidence up. You were almost impressed by how persistent he was. 

Almost.

Friday night rolled around, and you were already on your way to the Sigma Tau frat to meet up with Joshua. You knew there would be a lot of people there, knew that too many students would be getting drunk off their asses before finals started on Monday. You weren’t going to exclude yourself. You knew you had friends to keep an eye on you, but you also knew how to pace yourself so you could have a good time but not put yourself in a potentially dangerous situation.

Still, though. You were nervous. Nervous that Jeonghan would corner you again and try to talk to you. You were nervous that you, in your soon-to-be inebriated state, would find it in you to forgive him for everything. 

“Just stick with me,” Joshua reassured you. “I won’t let him bother you too much.”

“I’d prefer if you didn’t let him bother me at all,” you mutter and pull your skirt down slightly. It was still early May, so the lingering low temperatures of winter bit at your skin and raised goosebumps in its path. 

“You know that I won’t be able to stop him from approaching you. He always finds a way, baby.” Joshua squeezes your waist while he guides you through the crowd. Already you can spot Jeonghan laughing with the other guys in the frat, drinking some ungodly concoction Vernon had thrown into his cup. Seungcheol spotted you first and subtly shifted his body to hide you from his friend’s view. “I can, however, keep him from finding you for a little bit.”

“You’re an angel, Shua.” You smile at him, and he throws a wink at you. “So what has our friend Vernon mixed up tonight?” You lean over the counter and Joshua stands across from you. People bump into you while they stumble by, some people already plastered and others trying to help their plastered friends. 

“Something with a lot of tequila,” he points at one of the three large containers, “something with a lot of rum,” he points at the middle container, “and something with a little bit of every alcoholic drink we have. Just for fun.” He points at the final container

“Ooh, sounds…” you make a face and Joshua laughs.

“I know. But, you know Vernon, he likes experimenting.”

“I’ll bet.” You drum your fingers on the counter and point at the first container. “I’ll start with some of that…mixture?”

“Coming right up, babe.” Joshua grabs a cup for you and starts to get your drink. Both of you make a face at the odd red liquid that pours out, but your friend is quick to sniff it and take a small sip. “Good news, it isn’t poison!” 

You take the cup from his hand and take a sip as well. A grimace passes over your face almost immediately. 

“Bad news,” you clear your throat, “I’m gonna be absolutely off the walls from whatever he put in this.”

“Wasn’t that your goal?” Joshua comes up beside you again, that pretty smile of his making you blush a little bit. Under the purple lights, however, it’s nearly impossible to see the redness in your cheeks. 

“You ask a lot of questions, Shua.” 

“And yet you still give me the answers I want.” You shove his arm, but he hardly budges from his spot. He just smiles and laughs at your annoyed pout, and guides you back to where the crowd is growing thicker. Jeonghan sees you now, you know he does. His eyes are practically locked on you, his mouth practically hanging open. You see Seungcheol mouthing an apology from across the room, and you nod to acknowledge it. 

You figured he’d find you at some point, you just didn’t think it would be so soon. You thought you would at least be tipsy. You hoped you would have been drunk. 

But no.

You’re stone-cold sober, and he’s staring at you with this longing look in his eyes. You look away first, and Joshua frowns. 

“He found you?”

“Yeah.”

“Surprised he didn’t immediately come over here and start kissing your feet and begging you for forgiveness.” You both watch a girl approach Jeonghan, and Joshua gasps loudly when he pushes the girl away. You can tell Jeonghan said something harsh to her, just based on the way she quickly runs back in the direction she came from to hide in her group of friends. 

“Jesus, that was cold,” you remark. Joshua hums. 

“I told you, he isn’t interested in anyone else but you.”

“Not this again, Shua.” You groan and let your head fall back. 

“I’m just saying—”

“Just stop! It isn’t…I won’t do this again!” Joshua stands his ground this time, staring down at you with stern eyes and crossed arms.

“I’m not saying that you need to forgive him immediately and start fucking him again.” You scowl.

“Then what do you want me to do, Shua?”

“I want you to just…start over? I guess? Just start over with him. Reintroduce yourselves, and forget your whole history together. Start as friends, or fucking date, or whatever works for you. Just…just don’t do this shit where you guys— and not just you, because this wasn’t your fault. I don’t want you to think I’m blaming you because I’m not— just don’t force us all to choose between you and him, because that would end up hurting more people than necessary. I don’t care if you talk and decide to be anything to each other, just don’t let this go any farther.”

~

The lights have become blinding, the music deafening. A headache is beginning to form, creating an ache behind your eyes. You lost sight of Joshua hours ago, although you don’t doubt he’s with the other boys in the frat. Odds are, he’s gotten himself drunk and forgotten all about his promise to not leave you alone. You don’t mind though, you’ve grown comfortable in your little corner of the room, out of sight and away from the eyes of the other partygoers. Your plans of getting drunk are long forgotten, now thinking too hard about what Joshua told you.

“Have you seen Jeonghan?” Mingyu stands in front of you, a drink in his hand and his teeth gnawing on his lip. 

“No, not since earlier. Why?” You look up at Mingyu, your lips twisted into a puzzled frown.

“He’s been missing for, like, an hour. Nobody’s seen him apparently. Figured I’d ask you since you’d been staring at him for three hours.” You scoff at the comment and cross your arms. 

“I wasn’t staring at him.”

“Oh, I’m sure.” Mingyu nods as if he believes you, but you know good and well that he doesn’t, and he doesn’t really care either. “Anyway, last we heard is that he was drunk off his ass and trying to talk to you, I think. I dunno. Something about a mental breakdown?” 

Your throat began to close, but you forced yourself to speak again.

“I have no idea where he is, Mingyu, and I don’t plan on searching for him.” That’s a lie. You both know it just based on the way your eyes flick toward the back door and your teeth gnaw on the corner of your lip. A small, almost pitying smile crosses the tall frat boy’s lips. 

“Well, if you see him, tell him that we’re waiting for him to play pong.”

“Will do.” He tries to slip through the crowd, but his bulky frame bumps into several different guests, which causes him to spew out a variety of different apologies until he makes it to the dirty plastic table that had been set up on the other side of the room. 

You know you shouldn’t find him. Every instinct in you is screaming for you to just stay where you are, find Joshua, or just leave the house. But a small piece of you, something so minuscule you almost don’t feel it, is asking you to please find him. Make sure he’s okay. Don’t let him suffer on his own again as if you hadn’t been suffering on your own for months. Years, even. 

You stare down at the drink in your cup, the ice in it now melted to create a watered-down tequila mixture. You know you won’t drink it. Know that it won’t do anything to provide you with the courage you need to do this. 

~

The music is muffled now that you’re outside, but your ears are ringing from the sudden change in noise level. You’re shocked to see no one out here. Usually, there’s a bit of a crowd trying to escape the noise and have a quiet conversation. You’d think that more would be out here just to enjoy the weather after a brutally cold winter. 

But there’s no one. 

Probably ideal for the conversation you’re about to have.

You inhale quietly, staring at the oak tree that’s barely twenty feet from where you stand. The branches have begun to grow leaves, shielding anyone who might be under it. Shielding Jeonghan, who you know is tucked behind the trunk and isolating himself. That’s what the two of you would always do if you wanted to get away from the noise. One of you would sneak out of the house, out of the view of the guests, and tuck yourselves behind the tree. The other would join a few minutes after. It didn’t matter which of you wanted to leave, somehow both of you ended up under the tree at the end of every party, waiting for everyone to go home or go to bed.

“Jeonghan?” Your voice comes out quieter than you intend it to, but it’s enough to get his attention. You see his head lean to the side, almost laying completely on his shoulder. His dark strands of hair fall to one side of his head, a shine catching on them from the lights of the house. “What are you doing out here?” 

“Getting away from the party.” His voice isn’t slurred, which is a good sign. He’s probably had a few drinks but nothing to keep him from talking to you. “Too loud in there these days. They’re gonna go deaf.”

“They’ll be fine. Are you okay?” You don’t sit beside him. You don’t make any moves to be anywhere but five feet in front of him, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet. You wait for the discomfort of the situation to set in, but it doesn’t. 

Not yet, anyway.

“Peachy.” You can see a cup of something next to him, pressed between two large tree roots. “You?” He doesn’t look at you. Not in the eyes, anyway. He’s scanning your body from head to toe, likely trying to figure out if you’re actually with him. 

“Let’s get you back inside. The boys want to play pong and they need you in there.” You avoid the simple question. When you look at him again, he looks…sad. Broken, really. You stick your hand out for him to take, and he looks at it with furrowed eyebrows.

You stay like that for a few moments. He sits against the trunk of the tree, staring at your outstretched hand thoughtfully. You stand a few feet away from him, your arm beginning to ache and the air beginning to bite at your skin. 

“Remember the first thing I said to you?” He finally asks. You drop your hand and sigh. 

“You called me pathetic.”

“I called you weak.” he corrects. “There’s a difference.”

“Not a big one.” He rolls his eyes. 

“Do you know why I said that?” Your heart is beginning to ache. You know he’s going to tell you all the reasons he hated you as if you weren’t aware of them already. “Because I was jealous of you.” 

“You were jealous?” Your nose scrunches and you move closer to him, out of pure curiosity. He watches you take a seat next to him, flinches when your arms brush together. “Why?”

“Because you were everything I wasn’t.” 

“Right, because you weren’t free to feel things.” Your neck cracks when you turn to look at him. Jeonghan laughs and nods.

“I guess so, if you wanna make me sound like a robot.”

“You might as well be.”

“Don’t be rude.”

“I think I’ve earned this.” He goes quiet, and you wonder if you’ve said the wrong thing. If you took it a step further than you should have, and now he’s going to hate you and your whole friend group will be forced to pick sides, just like Joshua said would happen. 

“You think too much,” he’s looking at you now and when you lock eyes, he doesn’t look away. 

“Maybe.”

“I always kinda liked that about you. The way you think about everything. But sometimes you think too much, and you get lost down this rabbit hole that no one can pull you out of.”

“I mean if you put it like that…”

“Don’t go thinking on me now,” he nudges you and you smile. “Don’t wanna have a conversation with a brick wall.”

“Oh ha ha,” you pick at the skin around your thumbnail and lean your head against the bark of the tree. “Isn’t it weird how…even with everything that happened, you’re still the person I’m most comfortable with?” 

“What about Joshua?” Jeonghan sounds bitter, but you know he isn’t. He knows you would never like Joshua, at least not how you like him. 

“Nah, he doesn’t get me like you do.”

“Careful now, you almost sound like you love me.” still. You almost sound like you love me still. You know that’s what he wants to say, with the way he cuts himself off like he was punched in the gut. The way his eyes water just slightly, and when the light hits them just right it looks like they’re shining brighter than the stars above the two of you. 

“Oh, wouldn’t that be a scandal?” Your voice is soft now, and neither of you laughs this time. There’s a sad cloud floating above you two, waiting to pour down rain and drench the two of you. 

“I really am sorry, sweetheart.” Your heart swells when he says that. Your throat closes up once more and you have to take a moment before you speak. “I didn’t mean anything that I said to you that day.”

“You did, though.” He opens his mouth to argue but you place your hand on his knee to stop him. “You did mean it, you just…didn’t exactly intend to say it. Yes, it hurt to hear it out loud for the first time. Yes, I hate you for saying it and confirming what I already knew. But…it isn’t necessarily your fault. I mean, it is, but also it isn’t. You can’t help that you were raised like that. You can’t help that you resented me for being able to feel what you wanted to. You didn’t…you didn’t receive the same love as I did when I was growing up, and that isn’t your fault. What is your fault is how…you didn’t tell me anything. I had to find out from people around us why you hated me so much. I had to find out from Joshua that…that you did love me, you just didn’t know how to show it or prove it.”

“I know, sweetheart, and I’m so sorry.” A tear slips from his eye and you smile when you wipe it away. Your hand lingers, and he presses his cheek into your palm. You feel him exhale a warm breath of air and his eyes shut. 

“I know you are. And I want to forgive you, Hannie, I do. It’s just…it’s going to take some time.”

“I know,” he place his hand over yours and squeezes lightly. “I know it will.” 

A comfortable silence washes over you, and you feel a cold breeze wash over your skin. Your body trembles from the cold and Jeonghan frowns at you.

“Why didn’t you bring a jacket?”

“To be fair, I thought I’d be inside the whole time and it gets very warm in there.” Jeonghan scoffs and starts to remove his jacket, despite your quiet protests. 

“You need to start bringing a sweatshirt or something to keep you warm. You know we come out here a lot, so why didn’t you think of this?” He scolds you, forcing you to slip your arms into his jacket while he does. It’s a few sizes too big for you and the sleeves go fast past your hands, but you don’t mind. It’s warm, and comforting, and honestly you might not return it to him. 

“I’m sorry.” You lean your head on his shoulder, and he stiffens for a moment. “I’m sorry for not understanding.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, sweetheart. You did nothing wrong. Your lack of understanding is my fault, and mine alone. I didn’t…I just didn’t trust you enough, which I see was a mistake.” His hand rises to touch the back of your head, his fingers rubbing where your hair has been tied and relieving the ache that had begun to form. You feel him starting to relax against you, his shoulders sinking and his legs slipping down to lay flat across the grass. You hear a door open behind you, and a few laughs. On instinct, you start to pull away, but Jeonghan’s grip tightens, keeping you secured to him. 

You expect him to make a comment. You almost want him to. 

Instead he looks toward the sky, partially blocked by the low-hanging branches and smiles.

“The stars are pretty tonight, aren’t they?” You lift your head to look at him. He keeps his eyes facing forward, but the hand he has in your hair slips down to your shoulder and he draws you into him.

You smile before you respond.

“Yeah, I guess they are.”

If we can walk this path together again

I want to hold your hands and give you warmth

If I hold your cheeks with warmed hands

Will you smile again for me?

~

TAGLIST: @woofie-nctzen-fanarts-320 @dearlyjin @joenghaniee @mikachu-chu @listxn @youre-on-your-ownkid @ti--red @springdaybreaks @momoxxchewz @rum-gone-why @everyoneluvscheol @dr3aluv5 @shiningstar-byulxx @preets-kpop-world @fragmentof-indifference @stfuayu @fanfic24

#itsbeeble #itsbeeble masterlist #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop angst #kpop fluff #kpop smut #seventeen #seventeen imagines #seventeen angst #seventeen fluff #yoon jeonghan #seventeen jeonghan #jeonghan x reader #seventeen x reader #jeonghan smut #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan angst #yoon jeonghan x reader #yoon jeonghan angst #yoon jeonghan smut #yoon jeonghan fluff

[elilelibeli]

When Remus and Sirius decided to adopt a kid, Sirius was excited. He imagined taking walks with his Remus and their kid, imagined baking with them, reading, playing music. It was a beautiful thought and dad Remus looked very good in it. But when he realized he would have to be left alone with a child, would have to deal with serious conversations, nights alone with the kid, making decisions he freaked out a little. Okay he freaked out a lot, but he didn’t tell Remus because he was really excited and didn’t want to give his husband doubts. So he tried to ignore the feeling. But it became a bit impossible while Regulus pointed out a ridiculous baby leather jacket while shopping for Luna.

Sirius wasn’t about to have a mental breakdown between the baby clothes and women’s underwear section in the shops, so he ran outside the store to get some much needed air.

“A bit dramatic for a leather jacket isn’t it? I know it’s not vintage and cool enough for your standards but it’s for a baby Sirius.” Regulus tried to joke as he was looking at his panting brother, worried.

Ignoring his brother’s poor attempt of a joke, Sirius sat down on the curb of a parking lot pavement. Quiet curse words left his lips as he tried to even out his breathing.

“Sirius what’s going on?” Regulus’s worry grew as he set next to his older brother.

“I will fuck up this child, this kid will trust me and I will break their heart, I can’t do that to our kid Reggie.” murmured Sirius with his head down.

“Whoa what are you talking about? Where is this coming from?”

“Well Regulus it’s coming from the fact that we come from the most fucked up family of all Europe.“ Sirius’s tone changed from devastated to annoyed. “Ah it was so stupid of me to think this was a good idea. People I am meant to take a parenting example from are, well I should not take example of anything from them. And I had this thought of my child coming to me crying and what if I just wouldn’t know how to comfort my own kid, what if It’s not natural for me? You know what I did the first time Effie hugged me Reggie? I cried in my room afterwards because that was the first time I had ever felt safe in the hands of an adult. My hands are same hands of my mother, what if my child can’t hug me because they feel unsafe with me?” Sirius was not breathing between sentences, staring at his brother with eyes filled with pain and fear.

“Stop it! Your hands are not mother’s hands. Your hands are hands that hugged me after I fell from the tree. Your hands were the ones soothing me as a kid, they were the ones giving me sweets, holding me and pulling me to dance and run. Hands that I felt brave and good in. Your hands made the best high chair in the world for my Harry the other day. These are not the hands your child will be uncomfortable being in Sirius”

“How did you.. how were you not freaked out by this? You grew up with them. You know what they are capable of, how could you be sure that you would do it when you didn’t even know what it really meant to be?” asked Sirius while staring at his brother, searching for answers with his eyes.

“Well I knew what it was supposed to look like. Yes maman et papa had nothing to do with that but I always had you. did I freak out at first? of course! And then James told me something that made it all look possible, he said that the main thing was to have love, do everything with love, make every step or decision with love and for the sake of love for the kid and it would be okay. “Yes we are going to make mistakes and wrong decisions, love, but if we treat our child with love and respect those mistakes will not be the end of the world” he said. And I realized he was correct. You practically raised me Sirius and you were a child yourself. I knew love and respect from you, I saw care and safety and while I will never know that from my parents I knew I had it in me cause you had it in you even back then. You had it and you taught me. “ Regulus answered, his voice full of sincerity.

Sirius’s eyes were glistening from tears. He opened his mouth to say something, but instead he hugged his brother tightly. “Your James voice is terrible, Reggie” he said smiling in his brothers shoulder.

“Wanker.” replied Reggie lightly hitting Sirius’s head. “Talk to Remus Sirius, trust me it will make you feel better”

“Oh daddy Remus will be so hot” Sirius wiggled his eyebrows while sniffing.

“Gross, Sirius, gross” replied Reggie, standing up from the pavement and picking up a bag with a baby leather jacket for his stupid brother’s future kid in it.

#black brothers #marauders as dads is so special to me #sirius and regulus #wolfstar dads #wolfstar #jegulus #poor attempt of writing #also idk how to use punctuation i am sorry

[heaven4lostgirls]

“What do you mean you’re not going?”

sirius black x insecure!fem!reader

TW: ED, panic attack, breakdown, body images, crying, emotional traumas happy ending tho!!

a/n: this isn’t proofread and this is literally my first fic be kind pls!!

Y/N had always been considered a marauder since she sat with them during their first ride of the Hogwarts Express in their first year however once she was sorted into Hufflepuff they obviously were not able to spend much time around one another

Y/N had also developed a crush on a certain Sirius Black during the course of their fifth year when he had run away from his parents and had openly shown his love for muggle traditions such as nail polish and eyeliner.

Sirius had never noticed her affection mostly because she spent most of her time avoiding him, however every year the 4 marauders including the Hufflepuff girl would meet in Hogsmead for their annual marauders day.

It was a tradition started in first year when they all had gotten their permission slips signed and decided that they knew nothing of Hogsmead and it would be safer for them to travel together in which they soon found themselves wanting to go to the same stores and thus a bond of everlasting love and friendship was born.

Y/N was now however considering cancelling her plans with her friends because her outfit that she had picked out to wear at the beginning of the week had somehow looked tighter than what she had remembered it looked like.

She couldn’t remember the last time she had used these clothes but that didn’t matter because her size had never changed before. Her mother had made sure of that whenever she visited home that she was to be placed on a strict diet because upon arriving her mother had noticed her stomach had looked chubbier than when she left.

Y/N had admitted she was not one to focus on portion control because the good at Hogwarts was amazing and she was used to eating a lot so that she had enough stamina to get through quidditch practice and none of the other boys ever commented on how much she ate because they all ate similar to her.

She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes and decided that she would try and find another outfit. Y/N tried on countless clothes she had in her wardrobe only to try on a pair of jeans she hadn’t worn since she was 12 that obviously no longer fit her however that was her last straw as she collapsed into the pile of clothes and sobbed.

After cleaning herself up and pushing all her clothes back into the cupboard trying not to look too closely at herself in the mirror stuck inside her wardrobe doors she pulled on a pair of Sirius’ sweatpants and one of James’ old quidditch t-shirts.

She knew there was no way she would be able to make it to Hogsmead now considering she was already late from doing her hair and makeup which was inevitably ruined by her breakdown so she decided to walk to the Gryffindor common room to let the boys know she would have to skip out on todays adventures.

She softly muttered the password to the common room however upon arriving she noticed that Sirius was the only one sitting at the fireplace. She cocked her eyebrow wondering where all the boys were and walked over to him and as he looked up he gave her a confused body glance at her choice of attire.

“What are you wearing? We’re late and the boys are already on their way to the leaky cauldron!” Sirius exclaimed and she smiled forcefully before she looked him in the eyes as she hugged herself in comfort. “I- uh actually can’t make it to Hogsmead today…” she murmured embarrassed that she had made him wait for her only for her to turn him away.

“Are you sick? I mean none of us have missed a single Hogsmead trip together since first year, even when Remus had a full moon the night before we dragged him out of bed just so that we could get-“ Sirius was cut off by a frustrated and pained voice “I know Sirius, I just don’t want to go! Okay?” She exclaimed.

“What do you mean you’re not going?” He looked at her confused. “I just can’t go, you guys should have fun without me and bring me back some sweets from Honeydu-“ however it was her turn to be cut off by Sirius who shook his head “I’m not leaving without you Y/N, it’s a marauders day and if you can’t be there then there’s no point in the day is there?” He smiled and winked at her.

She was confused on why he was making such a big deal out of her going however she just rolled her eyes. “I just don’t think I look good in what I planned to wear and..I didn’t want you guys to be embarrassed…about me” she looked down as her eyes glossed over with unshed tears.

“Hey hey, don’t cry” Sirius cooed softly as he pulled her towards him and stroked her hair as her muttered comforting words into her hair. She felt her tears leave her eyes and she sobbed into his leather jacket. Sirius felt her body shake with each sob that tore through her and he felt his heart break a little with each painful sound leaving her.

“I can’t look at myself in the mirror anymore Sirius, I hate it i hate it i hate it. I hate how I l-look and how when I-I smile I have lines around my mouth, I hate that my t-thighs t-touch and that I c-can’t stop my eyes from getting dark circles and that my t-tummy isn’t flat” She cried hysterically into his shirt.

“I can’t do this anymore, i-it hurts. P-please make it stop P-please Siri make it s-stop” Sirius could feel the tears running down his face as all he could do was hug her tighter as he pulled them towards the marauders dorm and laid on his bed with his arms wrapped around Y/N.

“I know I can’t fight those thoughts for you but I need you to know that I will always find you beautiful, nothing is going to change that for me okay?” He squeezed her tighter as he heard her panicked breathing turn into shallow breaths.

“None of us will ever be embarrassed of you because of how you look okay? Do you remember in fourth year when James walked into the great hall with no eyebrows because he thought he could shave a slit into them?” When he felt her nod as a sign she was listening he continued the story.

“The rest of us were busy laughing but all you did was pull him outside the great hall and you gave him the hair growth potion Slughorn had taught us and hugged him before walking in like nothing had happened. That was when I knew that you were one of the kindest people I had ever met” He felt her snuggle into his chest and sniffle.

“I didn’t know that you saw me do that, I thought you guys were busy laughing. I just wanted James to feel better I would’ve done the same thing if it had been any of you, you know that right?” she spoke into his chest.

“I know love, are you sure you wanna stay behind, I will stay with you but I want you to know that even if you decide to go I know that the boys have been dying to talk to you about our new idea for a prank” he smiled down at her.

Her heart swelled at the idea of the three boys waiting for her with excitement. She nods slowly and gets off of his bed. “I-I think I’d like to go, w-would you mind giving me a minute to change and we can be on our way?” She smiled shyly.

He nods and smiles back and before he knows it Y/N leans forward and pecks his lips and scurries off not before saying “I guess that was your thank you for everything” Sirius stands in shock of what happened before grinning and touching his lips before running after her.

He picks her up with ease before carrying her to the marauders dorm. “Sirius!! Put me down! We have to go meet the boys!!” She shrieks and laughs. “Fuck them, you can’t just do that and think I’m not gonna make you mine” He kisses her neck with a smile before nuzzling her.

Safe to say they were over an hour late and walked into the leaky cauldron with their hands intertwined meeting the gazes of their shocked friends.

#remus lupin #james potter #sirius black x reader #sirius black angst #marauders #harry potter #marauders angst #juliwrites

[m0nsterqzzz]

The Gift

pairing: katniss everdeen x district 12 reader

summary: when she can't be there to protect you, you'll be damn sure she finds some other way.

a/n: this is so fucking short but I have like 7 katniss fics in the work rn that i can't figure out an end to. it's literally only 1023 wordssss ahhhhh i prefer writing long ones so its more entertaining for yall but idk. im dying. started writing a enimes to lovers clarisse fic, and a taytay one, AND my leg fucking hurts. who knew breaking a bone hurts? not me yall. sos. send help.

Walking up in district 13, dressed in a hospital gown that wouldn't stop scratching your body with the material, and your girlfriend nowhere to be seen wasn't exactly pleasant.

After a minor breakdown, it was revealed from Haymitch that Katniss is a few rooms down, also panicking since she’s not allowed to see you. It doesn't bring any comfort, listening in the silence of the night wondering how she’s doing. The last time you saw her face to face she was shooting an arrow towards the top of the force field of the arena you and her were placed in along with 22 other tributes that had won previous hunger games just like you and your girl.

So now you lie awake in your hospital bed, staring up at the ceiling as the annoying clock placed above your door clicks and clicks. If you squeeze your eyes shut and take a deep breath while covering yourself in blankets, you can almost imagine you’re back in district twelve, laying in bed with Katniss instead of laying in this cold room with the knowledge that your district has been burned to the ground.

Your eyes fall to the clock, watching the tiny second hand slowly spin around the full circle before the minute hand moves a little bit signaling only one minute has gone by. The only reason you finally lose interest in it is because the door below it slowly creeks open, a person with long hair and a gown similar to yours stepping inside and gently closing the door behind them.

“Katniss.” You mumble, a relieved smile coming onto your face. She nods, sitting on the side of your bed next to your body.

“Hey honey.” She whispers, clearly nervous a guard rooming the hall will hear her and come in to take her back to her own room. “Are you alright? Haymitch won’t tell despite my threats.”

You manage a small chuckle, nodding as you finally close your eyes and curl into her side. “I’m fine. Are you okay? Nobody will tell me.”

She’s silent for a minute, and you feel a wet droplet drop onto your arm. A tear, though you don’t mention anything to your girlfriend. Finally, the brunette shrugs, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to pull you closer. “I’m okay now.”

With a small kiss to the top of your head, she relaxes her head against your pillow before sitting up. “I forgot. I brought you something.” She reaches up to the back of her neck, shuffling around for a second before she holds something out to you. Even in the very dim lighting of your room, you can see the necklace. It’s one you're familiar with, for Katniss never took it off until she volunteered as a tribute for her sister Primrose about a year ago.

“My dad gave it to me when I was a kid.” The archer hushedly says, staring at it before glancing at you. You know the story, it being one of the first ones she told you when she finally opened up to you about the loss of her father, but you listen anyway. “He said it would protect me when he wasn’t there to do it. He died in the mines a few months after that.” When she learned her district she was born and raised in was now just ashes and rubble, she thought about the lost friends and that necklace. It was placed in a jewelry box before she left for her second time in the arena, and unlike the townspeople she was decent friends with, her mother was able to give it back.

You two fall into silence for a second before she continues, her voice slightly breaking before it goes back to normal. “And he was right. It has always protected me. I want it to do the same for you.” You’re about to object when she just gently shushes you. It’s her fathers, something she’s very dear almost all her life, why would you just let her give it away?

“I hold my dad in my heart. Not in the necklace. I want you to have protection when I can’t be there to do it. This is as close as we’re gonna get to that.” you giggle, looking in her eyes for a few seconds to make sure she’s sure about this before nodding and turning your back to her so she can put it on you.

Her hands gently touch your skin as you clasps the jewelry onto you, leaving a trail of warmth on the back of your neck before she puts her hands back into her lap. You turn to face her again, hands moving to fidget with the necklace. It’s a gold chain, a small sun charm hanging from it in the middle. It’s beautiful. 

“Thank you Katniss.” You say, words sincere as she moves to lay in between your legs with her head on your chest.  She doesn't say anything, just placing a kiss on your collarbone that speaks more than enough.

The door creaks open once more, her fight of flight instantly getting triggered as she shields your body with her own and looks over her shoulder. Her tense state calms a little bit when she sees it’s only Haymitch, mumbling something about needing a drink when he sees Katniss in your room. “I was doing night checks. Making sure your person’s still alive.” He mumbles, clearly pointed towards your girlfriend after she threatened him this morning with a syringe to tell give her updates every once and a while about how you were doing.

You find yourself letting out a small laugh, one of the first you’ve had in what feels like an eternity even though it’s only been about a month and a half.

Katniss smiles at the sound of your joy, the first real one since she learned you were alive.

She may not always be able to protect you, but hopefully the trinket will.

Even if it doesn’t, one things for sure. Her dad would have loved you.

Not as much as she does though.

#katniss everdeen x reader #katniss everdeen x you #katniss everdeen #the hunger games x you #the hunger games x reader #the hunger games #what is that ending T-T #dying yall. send help.

[marnerparty]

why’d it have to change?

Jamie Drysdale x reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of underage drinking, mentions of minors having sex/losing virginities

————————————————————————

2017 - 15 years old

Y/N's hands shook and she raised her fist to knock on the door of the Drysdale family.

Since she was 2, Y/N and her family had lived next to the Drysdales, and her and Jamie became best friends right away. They shared a love for hockey, which Y/N was very good at. She could often compete with the boys, and when she learned that there was no girl's hockey team at school, she tried out for the boys team and made it.

Jamie was absolutely infatuated by Y/N. Her personality matched his, her hard work was something he admired, but most of all, he just loved her.

And the Drysdale's knew it, but they didn't say a word. And the Y/L/N's knew Y/N felt the same way.

It was a running joke in their family that everyone knew they were in love with each other but them, and anytime the families knew Jamie and Y/N would be together, they took bets on which night would be the night they grow up and realize it.

As Y/N stood at the Drysdale's door, thousands of memories come flooding back to her. From hockey to vacations, they really did it all.

And little did Jamie know that just next door, there was a house packed full of boxes that were waiting to be loaded into a truck and sent to Boston, Massachusetts.

As Y/N heard footsteps coming to the door, her eyes couldn't help but water thinking this would be the last time she's here in a while.

She didn't have time to wipe her eyes before Jamie's mom, Tina, who became a second mom to Y/N, opened the door.

"Hey gorgeous what are-" Tina's words cut off as she looked up to see the girl tearing up. Her expression immediately softened and she pulled the girl into a hug.

"Are you hear to tell Jamie?" Y/N looked up with a confused expression.

"So you guys already know?" Tina nodded sadly.

"We've known for awhile, probably before you. But you know it wasn't our place to tell you. And we weren't gonna tell Jamie without you." Y/N nodded.

"Is he in his room?" Tina nodded and Y/N made her way through the house. She stopped outside of Jamie's door when she saw the new pictures on the outside of his door.

30 pictures at least of just the two of them. Tears ran faster down Y/N's cheeks as she tried to collect herself before she went in. She knocked 7 times, their special knock, before Jamie threw open the door and attacked Y/N with a hug.

She couldn't help but smile as she hugged him back just a little tighter.

"You're just in time, I was just getting ready to nap and now we can cuddleee." Jamie said as he carried out the word.

To the outside world this seemed like something only couple would do, and although Jamie and  Y/N should just be a couple, this was normal. They would even spend nap time together when neither of them would even be awake just to be in the presence of one another.

Jamie walked to his bed, but Y/N didn't move. Once he sat down and realized she wasn't next to him, he turned and made a confused face.

"Hey, have you been crying?" And that was all it took for Y/N to breakdown. She fell to the floor as Jamie quickly engulfed her in a hug.

"Y/N/N, hey, shhh, it's okay. I got you, I got you. I'm here." Y/N cried for a couple of minutes before she was able to look up. She took Jamie's face in her hands.

"Jamie," she started, rubbing her thumbs over the freckles she loved so much. "You're my best friend in the whole entire world. There's no one that I love more, you know that, right?" Jamie nodded. He had no idea where this was going. "This wasn't my decision. I didn't even know until this week, and this is why I've been being short with you, and why maybe I haven't been the best friend right now." She looked up meet Jamie's eyes. "We're moving." And with those 2 words, Jamie felt like his world was falling apart.

"What do you mean? Like, like out of the neighborhood? Like you're still gonna be at school, right?" Y/N looked down and let more tears fall.

"Jamie, we're going to Boston. Tomorrow" The pair stared at each other, neither of them knowing what to say next. After a few more minutes Jamie angrily stood up.

"You're going tomorrow? TOMORROW? And THIS is when you're gonna tell me!" Jamie was raising his voice like Y/N had never heard.

"Jamie, I'm sorry! It wasn't supposed to be like this-"

"You're right! It wasn't! We have plans, Y/N! To travel and see the world, to be there always for each other through school, dances, vacations! You're supposed to be there when I get drafted-"

"None of this has to change, Jimmy-"

"Oh don't you DARE Jimmy me right now! I hate the fucking nickname and you know it, but I let you say it anyone because you love it."

"Because I love you, Jamie!"

"I know! But not the way that I love you!" Y/N froze when she realized what Jamie meant. Jamie's eyes widened to when he realized.

"I'm sorry, this is a really bad time for me to be saying that-" Y/N cut Jamie off by placing a kiss on his lips. They pulled away after a moment.

"Jamie, it's always been you." The teens kissed again as it soon turned in to a little more than a kiss.

"Jamie," Y/N said breaking away once more. "Your mom is downstairs." She said with a giggle. He rolled his eyes.

"Way to ruin the moment." Y/N rolled her eyes as she sat up on Jamie's bed facing him.

"You know nothing has to change when I move, right?" Jamie shook his head.

"It's all gonna change, Y/N/N. I won't be able to shout out my window at you, or have have the chance to just walk over when I need to. You're going to a different country. Touching this one, yeah, but it won't be the same." Y/N nodded.

"We'll call and text everyday, right?" Jamie nodded.

"And still go on vacations?" He asked. Y/N laughed and also nodded. "Why didn't you tell me before you loved me like that?" Jamie sighed and stared at the girl.

"We're only 15, but we act like we're so much older. We even made a marriage pact- what normal pair of friends does that unless somewhere they both feel like that towards each other?" Y/N nodded.

The room was filled with silence as the teens just sat there enjoying each other's company, knowing this would be one of the last times they could do it.

"Do you remember that list of things we said we'd do if the world was ending and we only had 24 hours?" Y/N laughed and nodded.

"Of course I do, but I don't remember anything on it." Y/N said. Jamie got up and walked over to his desk. He pulled out a folder, and then a paper from the folder, and low and behold, the Doomsday List. Y/N grabbed the paper with a shocked look.

"Jamie holy shit! Why, how, I thought this was gone!"

"Yeah, well, I keep a lot more things than you think." Y/N laughed again and motioned for Jamie to sit down.

"Come on, let's read it."

6 Thing to do Before the World Ends (2012)

* Eat ice cream for dinner

* Skate one last time

* Watch our favorite movie

* Cuddle

* Watch the sunset on the rink

* Do something only adults can do

"This is kinda a lame list." Y/N joked. Jamie nodded.

"Yeah but look at that, even at 10 I was thinking about sex." Y/N's head whipped around at him.

"You meant sex, Jamie?" He nodded and laughed when he saw her expression.

"Sorry, Jim, I won't have sex with you." She said with a laugh. He rolled his eyes.

"If I beg?" Y/N hit his shoulder.

"Jamie! We're 15-"

"That's a perfectly normal age-"

"I'm leaving Jamie!"

"So better time than ever!" Y/N glared at the boy.

"I'll think about it. But until then, let's get a head start on this list"

———

As the night ended, Y/N and Jamie were playing hockey in the makeshift rink outside while they watched the sunset. Their list was completed, with a slightly modified version of what Jamie's "adult" task was.

The teens decided they would take their parents alcohol and drink as much as they could. Now this wasn't the first time either of them had drank, perks of being on the hockey team, but playing hockey buzzed was a whole different story.

"Alright Drysdale, 4-4, next score wins." Y/N said as she slurred her words and tried to skate past Jamie. Unfortunately Jamie was still faster than her drunk, and was able to take the puck right from her.

It was clear Jamie was going to score, so Y/N took advantage of this and tripped him. It was street rules: no penalties. Plus the drinking made it seem like it was an accident. Jamie crashed to the ground and Y/N took the puck and scored.

"Victory!" The girl shouted as she through her arms up in the air. She skated over to Jamie and accidentally tumbled on top of him. She took off her helmet, then Jamie's and kissed his lips.

"I win Jimmy." She said with a smile. Jamie rolled his eyes and gave her another kiss.

"Alright, whatever. It was a bogus ending but you did win." Y/N smiled and got up off of him. She skated to the side of the rink where she tried unlacing her skates, which was very difficult drunk, when she caught Jamie staring.

"What're you thinking about Drysdale?" She asked as he made his way over. He sat down to unlace his skates as well, but ended up falling over. Y/N giggled at the boy as he sat up.

"I'm thinking about how you're perfect. And I love you. And I'm gonna miss you."

———

The following morning Y/N woke up in Jamie's arms after spending the night with him. The teens made the most of their last night together, and Y/N couldn't have wished for anything better. She looked outside of the window and noticed 2 moving vans in her driveway.

Her heart shattered as she realized this was it. This was the last time she and Jamie would be together like this. She watched the sun shine on Jamie's face and put a sad smile on her face. She gently shook him awake and watched for his eyes to open.

"Hey Y/N/N." Jamie said as he leaned up for a kiss.

"Hey Jim." Y/N sighed. "The trucks are already here." Jamie stared at the girl, unable to comprehend that she would soon be gone and in a different country. He nodded and soon sat up getting dressed. Y/N followed in suit, grabbing the clothes that she had been wearing the night before.

Y/N went into the bathroom and changed, and when she came out, she noticed Jamie was holding a duffel bag and a card. She shot him a confused look.

"What's all this?" She asked getting closer to the boy.

"It's for you. I woke up earlier and put it together. Open it later, though. I don't wanna cry anymore than I will be." Y/N laughed at his confession and gave him a big hug.

"Y/N!" The teens could hear Tina yell form downstairs. "Your parents are here." Y/N and Jamie made eye contact, knowing exactly what this meant.

They made their way downstairs to see their parents saying their goodbyes. She turned to Jamie and noticed the tears already forming.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this." Jamie whispered. Y/N nodded and took Jamie's face in her hands.

"Jamie, my beautiful, sweet boy. I love you more than anything. Just because I'll be miles and miles away, doesn't mean that this is going to change, okay?" Jamie nodded and gave Y/N the biggest hug he could.

"I'm gonna miss you babe." Jamie said and Y/N cried hard into his chest. When she pulled away, she made her way over to Gary and Tina, who had become her second set of parents, and hugged them tightly goodbye.

"Ready love?" Y/N's mother asked. She nodded and gave Jamie one last hug.

"Goodbye, Drysdales."

🏒

2018 - 16 years old

"Smile for the camera!" Y/N's mother said as she took a picture of Y/N in her dress for her winter formal. She didn't even want to go to the dance  at her new school, but her parents said it would be fun. She threw on a fake smile to please her parents, but little did they know, she had plans to leave after 30 minutes. After 10 minutes of photos, Y/N's patience was running thin.

"Alright mom, I think you have enough." Y/N whined.

"No, no, just a few more because-" Before her mom could finish, the Y/L/N's doorbell rang.

"Oh, sorry, better get that!" Y/N rushed from the living room to the front door, hearing her parents' footsteps behind her. As Y/N grabbed for the handle and swung the door opened, she gasped and covered her mouth.

Standing before her, dressed in a suit with a purple tie to match her dress, and a corsage, was Jamie. Y/N's eyes started to water as she threw herself towards the boy.

"Jamie! How are you here?" She asked, putting his face in her hands. He laughed and grabbed one of her hands.

"I came to surprise you. Your parents told me you've been dreading going, so I thought you'd want to go if I was here." Both teens were beaming as they were seeing each other for the first time in a year.

"Alright, alright, let me take a few of you guys together before you leave." Y/N didn't argue this time knowing she would cherish these pictures forever.

15 minutes later Y/N and Jamie were getting the car ready to leave. Y/N's high school was about 30 minutes away, so the teens spent the majority of the ride catching up on the basics.

As Jamie drove to the school he kept a hand on Y/N's thigh as they sat comfortably in silence. She grabbed Jamie's hand and laced his fingers with hers.

"I missed you a lot. Thank you so much for coming." Y/N said reaching over to kiss Jamie's cheek. He blushed under her touch and put a smile on his face.

"Y/N I would do literally anything for you. This was the least I could do. Also, I kinda have a confession to make." Y/N looked over at Jamie with a confused look.

"What is it?"

"We're not going to the dance. I have a surprise for you." Y/N made another confused face.

"Jamie what're you talking about? My parents think I'm going to the formal."

"Yeah, but I set something up that'll be much more fun."

20 minutes later Jamie was pulling up to a secluded area of a park, where there was an ice rink with fairy lights all around and a projector with a screen set up. Y/N gasped when she got out of the car and walked towards the rink.

Meanwhile Jamie was getting a picnic basket out of the back of the car, along with blankets and pillows for a movie. He walked over and placed everything down on the ice.

"Jimmy, how did you have time for this? You did this all for me?" He nodded as Y/N kissed him for the first time tonight. "I love it. I love you, Jamie." He smiled at the girl's words.

"I love you, so much Y/N." The teens shared another kiss with each other, that soon turned heated quickly. Jamie's hands wandered up to Y/N's back as he started to unzip the back of her dress.

"Is this okay?" Jamie whispered before he did anything else. Y/N took a second to catch her breath before smiling and nodding.

"Who knows when we'll see each other again, Jim. I want all of you this time."

———

Hours later the teens were packing the car back up as they made their way back home.

"Shit, I left my corsage on the ice." Y/N cursed as Jamie laughed.

"Some kid is gonna find that and never know what happened." Jamie said with a loud laugh. Y/N blushed and out her head in her hands.

"Ugh, I cannot believe that we did that. On an ice rink? That is so Canada of us." Her comment had the pair both laughing as they neared Y/N's house. Jamie reached over and grabbed Y/N's hand, lacing their fingers together.

"I missed you lot. I've been waiting for this day for months." Y/N smiled as she leaned over to kiss Jamie.

"I love you so much, Jamie. Thank you for making this night so special." The teens pulled up to Y/N's driveway. The glow of the TV shined through the living room window, signifying Y/N's parents were still awake.

"You're not leaving tonight, are you?" Jamie shook his head.

"My flight's on Monday. This is the last time I'm going to be able to go out in awhile, even back home, so my parents said it was okay I stay a couple days." Y/N shot Jamie a confused look.

"What do you mean?" She asked. Jamie sighed before speaking.

"Uh, hockey." Y/N whipped her head around to fully look at Jamie. "I've been meeting with scouts and coaches, and I've made the decision to start training for Team Canada." Y/N jumped out of the car and ran around to the driver's side where she opened the door and attacked Jamie with a hug.

"JAMIE!" Y/N screamed, probably waking up a bunch of her neighbors. "This is so amazing, I am so proud of you." Y/N pulled away from the hug and gave Jamie a kiss. "I always knew you were a star Jamie Drysdale. Always." The two hugged again as Jamie couldn't help but blush.

"I love you, Y/N. You've always been my biggest supporter, even more then my parents. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you." Y/N smiled at her boy. Even after all this time, they both knew they were each other's number 1, and nothing would change that.

"Come on, let's go inside. I'm tired and cold." Y/N giggled, dragging Jamie out of the car and towards the house.

"Y/N? Jamie? That you?" Y/N's mother called when the teens walked in. She made her way to the front door where they were taking of their shoes. "Well you two look like you had a good time. How was the dance?" Y/N took the lead lying to her mom.

"Oh, mom, it was so fun. I'm so glad you guys made me go." She faked with a smile. She then hugged her mother before heading up the stairs. "We're really tired, so we're gonna head up to bed if that's alright." Y/N's mother nodded, telling the teens goodnight as she made her way back to the living room.

When Y/N and Jamie got to Y/N's bedroom, Jamie couldn't help but take note of how different her room was from her one back in Canada.

It was now a light grey instead of the purple walls with polka dots. Her bed had solid colored sheets instead of the floral ones she used to have. One thing they was the same, though, was her photo wall. All of the old pictures of the pair in Canada were still there, along with a few new ones from her newest friends.

Jamie couldn't help but notice a picture of Y/N in a team photo of what seemed to be a team of all girls. He made his way over to get a better look, and sure enough, Y/N was still playing hockey. He also took note of the big letter 'C' on her jersey.

"Y/N/N, you're still playing hockey?" Jamie asked as he turned towards the girl. Y/N nodded sheepishly.

"I planned on telling you, but you were excited to talk about you, and I just wanted to listen." Jamie smiled; that's who Y/N always was. Wanting to hear about others then talk about herself. Jamie pulled the girl into another hug as he told her how proud he was.

The couple then changed into some pajamas, Jamie having brought a few outfits for his short stay, and they got into bed to watch a movie.

As they got under the sheets Jamie noticed yet another thing in Y/N's room; a framed acceptance letter on her desk.

"Y/N, what's that?" Jamie asked as he pointed towards the letter. Y/N sighed again before answering.

"I'm actually graduating this year, Jim. A year early." She said looking up. "I'm going to University next fall."

"That's great, Y/N/N. God, you were always so much smarter then me, eh? I'm so proud." The teens then settled into the night as they watched Finding Nemo, their go-to movie. Y/N fell asleep way quicker than Jamie, who couldn't help but watch Y/N as she slept to try and soak it all in.

———

Monday morning Y/N drove Jamie to the airport for his flight home. They made the most of Jamie's visit with Y/N showing him all of her favorite spots.

Y/N knew that she had gotten better at hockey and was prepared to show Jamie her skills, but he also got better, and it was hard for Y/N to keep up. She smiled as she thought of them playing hockey together, wondering when they'd be able to do it again.

"What're you thinking about?" Jamie asked as they neared the airport. Y/N's eyes got watery as she recalled all of the memories they shared.

"Just wondering when this is gonna happen again. I mean, I'm going off to college in a year, you're going to be a hockey superstar-" Jamie cut Y/N off with a kiss before pulling her in for a hug.

"Y/N, do you know that we're best friends? We're never going to lose touch, babe, okay? And you're gonna be right next to me when I'm drafted, and that's a promise." Jamie held out his pinky, knowing that Y/N really held pinky swears true to her heart. They tied their fingers together and kissed their hands, really solidifying the promise. 

🏒

2019 - 17 years old

The cold feeling of Winter in Boston spread goosebumps across Y/N's skin as she walked to Boston University’s hockey facilities.

Although she was no longer playing competitively, Y/N liked to keep up on her skills and went to practice from time to time. And at 6 p.m. on a Friday, she knew there wouldn't be anyone there. 

In the past year since Y/N and Jamie had last seen each other, a lot has changed. Too much has changed.

Jamie broke his pinky promise of saying the pair would never lose touch. 2 months after the dance, Jamie fell basically fell off the face of the Earth. Y/N saw through various social media posts that he was now playing hockey for a really good travel team, but apparently he was now too good for Y/N.

Y/N thought it would change in the Spring because Jamie had promised to be at her graduation months earlier. The Drysdales ended up not being able to make it, but they did send a card. Y/N was excited to see what message Jamie would've wrote since he didn't make it, but when she opened the card, he hadn't even signed his own name.

Boston University was a chance for Y/N to completely change what she was doing. Christmas break had just ended, and she was feeling better than ever. Everything that had any ounce of Jamie in it was put in a plastic tote and shoved to the back of her closet; it was just the first step of moving on.

Y/N stepped into the facility and instantly felt how cold it was compared to outside. She set down all of her belongings before lacing up her skates, taping her stick, and heading out onto the ice.

After 15 minutes of warming up, Y/N started to practice some unrealistic trick shots. Her favorite that she made up included her skating backwards down the ice, and before reaching the net she would toss the puck in the air, do a spin, then hit it in.

She made the goal on her first try, and when she went to retrieve the puck she started to hear clapping from behind her. She whipped her head around to see a boy that was probably around her age, standing at the side of the rink. Y/N blushed and looked down, awkwardly laughing.

"That was a cool move!" The boy called out as he made his way into the ice in his own skates. He skated over to Y/N while holding out his hand.

"Trevor Zegras." The boy said. As she looked closer Y/N couldn't help but think he was really cute.

"Y/N Y/L/N. It's nice to meet you." She said as she took Trevor's hand and shook it.

The two teens got to know each other a little more as they skated together. Y/N learned that Trevor was a member of Boston University’s hockey team, and Trevor learned how Y/N played on hockey teams of all boys growing up. Before they knew it, it was 8 p.m. and the teens were growing hungry.

"I'm gonna grab some food, do you wanna come with?" Trevor asked Y/N as they walked out of the facility. Y/N agreed and they walked to Trevor's car. When they got in he handed over his phone for Y/N to choose music. The first song she put on was Back to December by Taylor Swift, which she thought Trevor wouldn't like, but he had quite the opposite reaction.

"Oh man, you like Taylor!? This is my jam!" Trevor turned the radio way up and they new pair of friends screamed the lyrics to the song.

Trevor was already starting to take a liking to Y/N, and vice versa.

"You know, in this short amount of time, I feel like we grew up together." Trevor said to Y/N as he parked in the Chipotle parking lot. Y/N giggled and agreed.

"Now over dinner is when we ask the serious questions." She joked. The pair ordered at the window with Trevor paying, although Y/N insisted they pay separate. Trevor was clearly a gentleman, and Y/N was thankful to have had made a brand new friend.

"Alright, let's spill the personal shit now." Trevor said, digging in. Y/N rolled her eyes.

"What would you like to know, Zegras? I'm an open book." Trevor asked the personal questions of the parents names and backgrounds, any siblings, but when he asked about friends where she was from and friends she had back home, she suddenly wished she'd put a cap on the amount of questions that could be asked. Trevor seemed to notice her silence.

"I'm sorry if I said-"

"No," Y/N cut off. "Really, it's okay. So, I'm actually from Canada. Toronto. That's where I grew up playing hockey on all boys teams because there weren't any all girls teams around."  Y/N took a deep breath before continuing, suddenly feeling like her story was becoming this big cliche. "So I met my best friend when we moved into a new house when I was 2. We were neighbors and glued to the hip. He played hockey too, so we were always on the same team. We did literally everything together. Name anything and it was always us, never on our own. Our families got close too, so we soon started to vacation together. We moved to Boston unexpectedly when I was 15. Since leaving, I've seen him once. We stayed in contact until 2 months after he surprised me for my winter formal, and then it was like he fell off the face of the Earth." Y/N realized she was rambling and probably boring Trevor, but she looked up and saw him leaning in, soaking in every detail.

"Wow, I'm really sorry about that. This guy sounds like an absolute dick anyway." Y/N giggled but shook her head.

"I wish he was. It'd be so much easier if he was. But honestly, he's perfect. Kind, respectful, pretty. Gosh, so pretty." Trevor laughed at your description of Jamie.

"Does this pretty man have a name?"

"Jamie Drysdale. Look out for his name in a couple of years, because honestly, he'll probably be in the NHL."

———

Months later, Y/N was in the car with Trevor, his friend, Jack, and Jack's brother, Quinn.

Quinn was already drafted by the Canucks, but tonight, Jack and Trevor were going to get drafted. Jack was projected to be the number 1 overall pick to the Devils. Trevor's future was still undecided, but was projected to go in the first round.

"So Y/N," Jack started, turning to the girl in the front seat. "Truth or Dare."

"Oh, Hughesy." She said, using the Universal Hughes nickname. "I'm not adventurous. I'm going truth." The rest of the boys groaned, but Jack smirked, already having a question in mind.

"Okay, Y/N. Who'd you lose your virginity to." Y/N almost spit the drink out that she was taking a sip of.

"Jack!" Quinn exclaimed. "We already know the answer. Trevor!" Y/N's eyes widened.

"It was Trevor!?" Jack exclaimed. Y/N rapidly shook her head. "I thought they only hooked up a couple times!"

"It was way more than a couple." Trevor said. She punched his arm.

"WHAT!?" Quinn screamed. Y/N put her head in her hands.

"We were also dating, boneheads." Jack and Quinn screamed, yet again, seemingly not knowing about their relationship.

"Guys, it was months ago, only lasted a few months. Nothing that serious, we just realized we're better off as friends." Trevor said to calm the boys down. Y/N nodded, agreeing with what he said.

"Okay, but this still doesn't answer my question. Who'd you lose your virginity to." Jack said yet again. Y/N sighed before her answer.

"It was Sophomore year at my winter formal. On an ice rink. With someone who used to be my best friend, that I don't even talk to anymore." She said with a sarcastic smile. Trevor whipped his head around to look at Y/N.

"It was that fuck face? Are you serious?" Y/N rolled her eyes. Jack and Quinn shared a glance with each other.

"Should I even ask?" Jack chirped from the back. This prompted the long conversation of Y/N giving a rundown of her previous relationship with Jamie and how they were no longer friends.

The Hughes' were now on the same page as Trevor with how they felt about Jamie.

"Trust me guys, if you ever meet him, you'll probably love him."

"No," Jack cut in and the 4 of them were running into the draft because they were late. "I'm gonna kick his ass."

"Me too." Trevor and Quinn said. Y/N smiled to herself, loving that she now had a support group of the closest people in her life.

When they entered the doors they saw Trevor's mom, Julie, pacing back and forth. Her eyes widened when she saw them, an angry look in your face.

"You boys better have a really good excuse as to why you're so late!" She shouted as she started leading the four to their seats.

"Hey, Y/N isn't a boy, that's rude." Quinn said. The women rolled their eyes.

"We all know it's not Y/N's fault that you guys are late, okay?" Julie answered. Jack tapped her shoulder.

"Actually, Julie." He started. "It is her fault because the reason we were late is because we were learning a lot of new information about her."

"Yeah," Quinn started, speaking up. "Like the fact that she dated YOUR son! Did you even know that." Julie shot the boys a weird look.

"Uh, yeah. Was it not obvious?" The Hughes boys reddened before Quinn started talking again.

"Well did you know that, more than a couple times, they had se-"

"OKAY!" Trevor exclaimed, shutting Quinn up. "Thank you Quinn so so much, but it's your turn to be quiet." Y/N started to giggle at the outburst. Julie rolled her eyes, clearly knowing what he was about to say.

"Quinn, sweetie." Julie said as she placed a hand on his shoulder. "They're both in college and old enough to make their own decisions. Just because you somehow didn't know about their relationship doesn't mean his own mother didn't, okay? Okay. Now let's settle down and start to listen up." Everyone laughed at the way Julie was treating Quinn like a child, which only made Quinn more embarrassed.

The Zegras' went and took their seats, while Y/N sat with the Hughes' first, then would go sit with Trevor after Jack was, hopefully, taken with the first pick.

The NHL commissioner took the stage and announced the Devils were on the clock for their pick, and although he didn't say anything, Y/N just knew Jack got the call and that he was going to be drafted with the first overall pick.

A few minutes later, the pick was in, and Martin Brodeur, a former NHL player for the Devils, took the stage.

"With the first pick overall, the New Jersey Devils are proud to select, from the U.S. program, Jack Hughes." Jack threw a huge smile on his face as he got up to first hug his younger brother, Luke. Quinn was next, then his Grandma, parents, then Y/N.

"Jacky! I am so proud of you, bubs." Y/N said with a giggle. He rolled his eyes at the nickname and squeezed Y/N tight.

"I love you, Y/N. Thank you for being you, and being an amazing friend." The pair pulled away and Y/N gave Jack a kiss on the cheek as response.

"I'm gonna go find Trev, we're celebrating later though." Y/N said with a wink as she left the Hughes'.

She searched the aisles until she saw Trevor, looking as nervous as ever. When he saw Y/N he immediately left his seat to hug her.

"I'm so nervous, oh my god. I need you to sit with me." Y/N laughed seen as this was the first time she'd ever seen him acting like this.

"Trev that's why I'm here, don't worry. I'm here." They two took their seats as the draft went on. After a few more picks, Trevor's parents get up to go use the bathroom, leaving the teens in their seats.

Moments later Trevor's phone lights up with a call, and him and Y/N lock eyes as he answers.

"Hello?"

———

"With the 9th selection, Anaheim is proud to select, from the U.S.A. developmental program, Trevor Zegras." Trevor immediately stands, giving his parents, sister, and other friends a hug, before landing on Y/N. She was way closer with Trevor than she was with Jack, so when she heard his name get drafted she couldn't help but start to cry.

"I'm so proud of you, Zegras." Y/N said as she cried into his chest. He couldn't help but shed a few tears himself. She pulled away and took his face in her hands. "You are doing to do amazing things, Trev. I know it."

———

Meanwhile, back in Canada, Jamie was sat in his bedroom hanging out with a few of his friends and his new girlfriend, Alexis, while his parents were in the living room watching the draft.

Jamie knew he messed up with Y/N. He was alone and upset and tired from hockey. He knew hockey would always be his first love, but Y/N was the only love he truly cared about.

He tried to text and call many times, but he could never bring himself to hit "call" or "send." He figured she had blocked his number anyway, and he eventually gave up, just like he had done originally.

Alexis was the only girl Jamie had even thought about being with, and he swears it was partly because she looked like Y/N. She had similar Y/E/C eyes, the Y/H/C hair that sat perfectly on her shoulders. But Alexis wasn't Y/N, and she never would be. They hadn't even kissed yet after being together for 3 months because Jamie simply didn't want to.

About 20 minutes after the draft had started, Jamie called out to his parents.

"Did they call the first pick yet?" His parents waited a moment before answering.

"They're just about to if you wanna see!" Jamie and his friends went out to the living room just in time to see Jack get drafted. Jamie rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, figures. He's the best in the country right now." They went back to his room as quickly as they came out, when Jamie heard his parents start to talk amongst themselves a bit quieter.

"That wasn't her, was it?"

"Could it be?" Jamie shook their words away as he and his friends got back to what they were doing. His friend, Adam, however, was still in the living room when his parents were talking.

"Yo, Jamie." He started. "I think they just showed Y/N at the draft with that Hughes kid." Jamie's heart clenched at the mention of her name.

"What the fuck are you talking about, Adam?" Adam put his hands up defensively.

"Dude, ask your parents, they saw too." Jamie debated going back out there, but there was just no way it was her.

"Who's Y/N?" Alexis spoke up with a bitterness to her tone.

"She's no one, babe, don't worry about it." Jamie said putting an arm around her shoulders. The rest of his friends scoffed as Adam, who was really close with Y/N and Jamie, spoke up.

"C'mon, Jamie, you know she's not no one," Adam said before turning to Alexis. "Let's just say she's the reason Jamie doesn't kiss you." Jamie's hand came across so fast to hit Adam on top of the head.

"Dude what the fuck?"

"It's true, Jamie! Anyone can see that, okay? You're not the same kid you were when she-"

"ADAM!" Jamie yelled, finally breaking. "That's enough." Jamie stormed out of his room and went outside to the backyard where he could be alone.

He looked over at the house Y/N used to live in, and it brought tears to his eyes. Memories rushed his head of everything that he and Y/N went through, and how was able to surprise her after a year of not seeing each other, and then he ghosted her.

The back door opened and Jamie quickly wiped his eyes as he saw his mom at the door.

"You okay, Jam?" She asked from the door. He shook his head no.

"I messed up bad, Mom." He answered as he broke down yet again. Jamie rushed to his mom's arms and she held him as he cried. He told his mom everything that had happened since he last saw Y/N, and how he'd been a massive douche. She talked to him to calm him down, and when he was okay again they both went back into the living room to watch the draft.

"Did everyone leave?" Jamie asked and his parents nodded. He rolled his eyes.

"I was a dick to Adam. I need to text him." As Jamie was about to get up, he saw that Trevor Zegras was just drafted, but he stopped in his tracks when he saw on the TV what everyone else was talking about.

Y/N.

There she was, in the flesh. He watched her as she cried for Trevor, and he cried back, and she held his face in her hands. It was really her. And she looked great.

Jamie's parents looked up at him as he fought back tears. He rushed away to his room and pulled out the box from his closet that held every memory of Y/N in it. Her clothes, her hand written notes to him, pictures, everything. He couldn't help himself but to pull out his phone and open Y/N's contact. After many typed out messages, he finally settled on one he was happy about.

Y/N ❤️

Hey Y/N, it's Jamie.

I saw you on TV at the draft,

and I realized just how much

I miss you, and how badly I

know I messed up. And if

there is any way that you

would give me a call or a

text back, that'd really be great. 

8:04 p.m.

Not even 2 minutes later, Jamie heard his phone ding. His heart started to race and he could feel his cheeks heat up, but as he picked up his phone and looked at the message, his heart shattered again.

Y/N ❤️

I'm really sorry, but this isn't Y/N!

8:05

🏒

2020 - 18 years old

Trevor, Jack, Quinn and Y/N loaded their luggage in the Uber as they made their way towards Y/N's house in Toronto.

Covid had rocked the world, and now it was summertime where the boys had a little time off, and Y/N wanted to show them around her hometown. Her parents had moved back to her childhood home once she started college, which is where they'd be staying.

The ride was silent for the most part, partly because everyone was really tired from the plane ride. The draft was tomorrow, too, which was perfect and gave everyone a chance to be able to watch their teams' new picks

Jack had made his debut the same year he got drafted, and Trevor was yet to see his time on NHL ice. Y/N was excited to bring them down to the synthetic ice rink her parents had just built for her.

After the 45 minute ride, Y/N and the boys were pulling up on her childhood home. Jack was the first one to gawk at it.

"Y/N what the fuck? This place is huge." He shouted as he pulled his bags out of the car. Y/N laughed and rolled her eyes.

"And we're gonna pretend yours didn't look exactly like this?" She joked. The rest of the boys got their stuff as Y/N saw her mom open the front door.

"Mommy!" She yelled as she ran up the walkway. She gave her mom the biggest hug that she could. "I missed you so much, Mom." Y/N revealed.

"I missed you, sweetheart." She responded. "Now introduce me to these cute boys." Y/N blushed and rolled her eyes as the boys made their way to the door.

"Mother," she started. "This is Trevor, my best friend-"

"And also ex!" Jack threw in. Y/N glared at him.

"Uh-huh, that too. And he plays in the Ducks organization." She said annoyed. "And this is Quinn, who plays for the Canucks." And then she stopped when she got to Jack. "And this is Quinn's younger brother who's a bitch-"

"Language!" Y/N's mom scolded.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "And he plays for the Devils."

"Yeah, Jack right? First overall pick?" Her mom asked. Jack smiled smugly, which only bothered Y/N more.

"That's right Mrs. Y/L/N. And I must say, you have a gorgeous home." Trevor and Quinn gave Jack a smack on the back of the head.

"Ass kiss." Y/N mumbled making her way in the house. She quickly found her Dad and made sure to give him a hug too, but what she wasn't expecting was to see the Gary and Tina Drysdale sitting at the bar. Y/N didn't even know if they lived next door anymore, let alone if they would even want to see her, or know anything that went on between her and Jamie.

"Y/N? Oh my goodness, sweetheart, look how old you look!" Tina gushed as she sprang up and gave Y/N a big hug. It almost brought tears to Y/N's eyes as she remembered all of the things she went through in her childhood with them.

"Tina," she finally breathed out. "Hey." The boys stood back, unsure of what to do. When Y/N remembered they were there, she stepped back and introduced them.

"Trevor, Jack, Quinn, this is Tina, our neighbor since I was little." They each have Tina a hug as she told them how she knew who they were already.

"Jack, my son is such a fan of yours! Oh, he'd kill me if I said that." Jack, of course being Jack, loves to talk about himself, and carried in the conversation.

"Oh that's awesome! I'd love to meet the little guy." Y/N cringed as he clearly didn't put together who her son could be. Tina laughed at what he said.

"Well, he is only 5'10"," she joked. "But he's actually 18. He plays hockey too. Maybe you've heard of him? Jamie Drysdale?" When Tina spoke the name the guys immediately remembered who Jamie was, and they tried as hard as they could to play it off like they didn't know what he had done to Y/N.

"Oh, oh wow, that's, uh, wow." Jack stuttered out.

"What he means," Trevor cut in. "Is that we've heard about Jamie through Y/N, actually." They all agreed as Tina put a sad smile on her face.

"And let me guess, you guys hate him for what he did to her, right?" Everyone stood frozen as they didn't know how to respond. "Trust me guys, I know, and I've chirped his ass for it since he told me about it at last year's draft." Y/N made a confused face.

"The draft? What do you mean?" Tina made a similar face.

"You were shown on TV with the boys. Jamie had a few friends here, his then girlfriend, then he saw you, broke down, and the rest is history." She explained vaguely. Y/N had many more questions, but she couldn't ask them around the boys because she knew she'd break down soon.

"Boys," Y/N's father said speaking up. "Let me help you with your bags, then we can have Y/N show you the rink, eh?" The boys agreed and made their way upstairs while Y/N stayed downstairs with her mom and the Drysdales.

"Jamie's projected to go round 1 tomorrow, Y/N. I know you guys aren't okay, but I know you guys are both still proud of each other's accomplishments." Y/N gasped when she had said that, her eyes started to water.

She was exactly right: she was so proud of Jamie. No matter what they had been through, she would always be proud of him for chasing his dream.

"Thanks for letting me know, Tina." She said with a sad smile. "You're right, I am proud." She sniffled and wiped her eyes.

"Would you wanna see him?" Y/N pondered the question. She wanted to shout yes, that she couldn't wait to see him. But that wasn't an option anymore.

Y/N suddenly remembered a pinky promise they had made: Jamie promised they would never lose touch, and Y/N promised to be with him at the draft. Jamie may break his promises, but Y/N sure as hell didn't.

"Not right now to be completely honest." Y/N said. "There's a lot of shit that needs to be sorted."

———

Because of covid, the NHL wasn't able to invited players to be at the draft in person. The Drysdales were having a small get together with Jamie's close family, and of course the boys and her family was invited. The boys agreed that they would go and try not to cause any trouble, but Y/N couldn't bring herself to go over. She instead stayed at her house and watched the draft in her living room by herself.

She wasn't paying too much attention to the start of the draft, but when she heard the Ducks were on the clock, she immediately started to pay attention. After a few minutes, the pick was in as she saw a man take the stage and start to speak. She was curious who Trevor's new teammate would be, but she had the shock of her life when she heard Jamie's name get called as the 6th overall pick.

Y/N's hand flew to her mouth for many reasons. One that he went top 10 in the draft, and the other because he would now be teammates with Trevor. She sat in her couch as she saw video feed of Jamie's house and everyone celebrating with him. It did break her heart a little bit that she wasn't there, and that they weren't best friends anymore. They then showed Jamie talking directly to a reporter about how he felt.

Y/N couldn't help but smile seeing his smile and freckles, and how there was nothing that had really changed about the boy.

Y/N waited to watch what Jamie said before got up and went to the bathroom to wipe her eyes, when she heard her phone ding. She picked it up to see a text from her mom.

Mom❤️

Jamie went to his room

crying. It's now or never

7:45 p.m

Y/N looked at the message and sighed. She knew they needed to talk to each other, and Jamie might break his pinky promises, but Y/N never did.

She locked up the house before walking next door to the Drysdales and welcoming herself in. Everyone turned their heads to look at her, some with a small smile knowing why she was over.

"He's upstairs." Jamie's mom said, and with that, Y/N made her way up the stairs to the all familiar bedroom. She was shocked to see that the outside of Jamie's door had a singular picture on it: a selfie the two of them had taken when he was surprised Y/N for her formal.

That was one of her favorite memories of her and Jamie. He made the night magical for her, and she wished they could just go right back.

Y/N took a deep breath before knocking on the door twice. She heard sniffles from beyond the door, and she knew Jamie was crying.

"Please go away." She heard him say from the other side.

"Jim." Y/N spoke. "It's me." Y/N swore both of the teens stopped breathing when she spoke up. Jamie hadn't heard her voice in a couple of years now, and when he did, he couldn't help but shed some extra tears. He knew he messed up bad. But all he wanted in this moment was his best friend.

Moments later the handle started to move as Y/N saw Jamie open the door. His eyes were puffy and red, and his hair was a bit disheveled, but Jamie still looked perfect to her.

"Can I come in?" She asked quietly. He moved to the side and allowed her to walk in. Y/N took in his bedroom and how it had barely changed. She smiled softly as she saw that he had kept most of the things that she had given him.

"Y/N, I don't even know where to begin-" Jamie was cut off as Y/N threw herself into his arms and hugged the boy. He didn't hesitate in hugging her back, and the two teens just sobbed in each other's arms.

"I'm so proud of you, Jamie. I don't even care what's happened, I just need you to know that I love you, and miss you, and I'm so, so proud." Y/N said between sobs. It caused Jamie to cry harder.

"Y/N, I'm so fucking sorry. I love you so much and I'm sorry I ruined everything between us." Jamie choked out. They held on to each other, afraid to make a sound or a move. When both of their crying died down, Y/N pulled away to hold Jamie's face in her hands.

"Jamie, it's okay. I forgive you." Jamie shook his head with tears still running down his face. He out his hands over Y/N's before speaking.

"Don't say that." He whispered. "How can you? I messed up everything we had."

"But we're best friends." She butt in. "Did you make a mistake? Yeah. But I didn't do anything about it either." Jamie sighed at her words.

"Yeah you did. You moved on." Y/N shook her head once again.

"I found new friends, yeah. But I didn't replace you. Because you, Jamie Drysdale, have such a fucking hold on me that I can't stand it. I love you so much, and I want to be your best friend again." It went silent for a moment as either teen didn't know what else to say.

"Are you sure things can be the same way they were." Y/N shook her head.

"No." She responded truthfully. "Things are going to be so much better. I already planned on moving to Anaheim, so now I'll get to be with the boy I love most and watch him play hockey." Jamie smiled. "And now you'll be there too." She finished as Jamie realized she was joking about Trevor. They both let out a loud laugh and embraced again.

"I love you, Jim." Y/N said as she leaned up to kiss his cheek.

"I love you, Y/N." He said as he closed the gap and gave Y/N a real kiss.

"Remind me I should thank the boys for being there when I wasn't." Jamie said after a moment.

"You're welcome!" They heard from outside the door. Then there was arguing from beyond the door, and when Y/N opened it, she saw Trevor, Jack and Quinn all leaning on the door listening to their conversation.

"Look what you did, Jack!" Quinn exclaimed. "You gave us away!"

"It was an accident!" Jack said back. "And you didn't have to hit me!" Trevor started to laugh at them, and Jamie soon joined in. All the teens eventually joined in, laughing at the childish antics.

"We all good?" Y/N asked as she looked from boy to boy. They all looked back and forth from each other before Trevor stuck his hand out towards Jamie.

"Congrats on getting drafted, man. I'm excited to have you be a part of the team." Jamie gave Trevor a genuine smile as he grabbed his hand, but when he did, Trevor pulled him in close. "If you ever, and I mean ever, pull any kind of shit on Y/N, there will be consequences, got it?" Y/N rolled her eyes.

"That's an empty threat. He's a tough guy on the ice, but nowhere else." Trevor acted really offended at the girl's words as he turned around and stomped down the stairs. Everyone laughed at his antics before they made their way downstairs to join the rest of the party.

Y/N and Jamie could tell everyone was relieved that they had made up, and the way that they were able to go back to each other after all this time proved that they were made for each other.

#nhl hockey #jamie drysdale #jamie drysdale imagine #jamie drysdale x reader #hockey #hockey imagine #trevor zegras

[weirdkpopgirl]

Falling Apart | Jeno Imagine #10

Title: Falling Apart

Genre: Angst, friends to lovers (kinda)

Warnings: mentions of drinking, reader has a breakdown (nothing new lol)

Word Count: ~1.1k

Author's Note: Lately, it feels like I've been trapped in the dark again (but I'm okay). But I can't help but put whatever is going on my head into words, and I chose Jeno for this because he seems like that type of friend who's silently there for you. He's very caring with his members, like how he was by Jisung's side when he was crying at the Dream Show 1. Jeno is the type of person I would trust being vulnerable with. Anyway, hope you enjoy reading ^ ^

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Jeno could hear the faint sound of beer cans shifting within the bag as he walked up the stairs to your apartment. The dark sky above him was illuminated by the usual city lights, along with the full moon casting its glow tonight. 

As he neared your place, an unusual wave of nervousness washed over him. His decision to come here had been an impulsive, last-minute choice on his part. Earlier, he had been at Chenle’s house with the others for their bi-monthly movie night. However, he was perplexed when he saw your message in the group chat saying you couldn’t make it tonight. While the guys did express their wishes that you were here with them, Jeno felt your absence more than anyone in the room.

He wasn’t really thinking when they were onto the second movie, and Jeno decided he couldn’t take it anymore. With most of the guys already asleep, he slipped out of Chenle’s place without drawing any attention. Eighteen minutes later, Jeno found himself standing outside your apartment. He hesitated for a moment before pressing the doorbell, anticipating your reaction.

Your surprise was evident when you opened the door, and a slight blush was quick to form across your cheeks. Your current attire wasn’t exactly fitting for socializing, as you wore a white long-knit cardigan over your dark gray house clothes. 

Despite feeling embarrassed, you greeted him softly. “Hey Jeno. Aren’t you supposed to be at Chenle’s?”

“Yeah, but it didn’t feel the same without you there,” Jeno mumbled sheepishly, scratching his head before holding up the black plastic bag in his hand. “And I thought you might want some company since it’s a Friday night and all.”

His words caused a small smile to spread across your face. However, you were conflicted because a part of you didn’t want to let him in, knowing you weren’t in the right state to see people. But you didn’t have the heart to turn him away, knowing he came all the way here to be a good friend. So reluctantly, you took a step back and opened the door further so he could come inside.

Jeno quickly removed his sneakers and eagerly followed you into the living room. The two of you settled on the floor by the coffee table. The canned beer was cold against your fingertips as you opened them, the soft click of the tabs echoing in the quiet room. 

The two of you exchanged quiet smiles as your cans clinked against each other in a toast. Your chins lifted in sync as you both took your first sips of the alcoholic beverage. Shortly after you placed your can down on a coaster, Jeno followed suit.

“You doing okay?” he asked, breaking the short silence between you two.

The concern in his question was understandable, considering your lack of presence at a gathering that even the most antisocial person, like yourself, wouldn’t typically miss. 

You responded almost too quickly, letting out a light chuckle. “Yeah, of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

However, Jeno could see through your feigned nonchalance. He somewhat predicted you’d brush him off, given he’s known you for over a year. In your friend group, there was Donghyuck and Chenle who were always the loudest, with Renjun occasionally joining in to argue. Then there was Mark and Jisung trying to be the mediators, while he and Jaemin watched things unfold in amusement. Out of everyone, you were always the quiet one, seemingly unperturbed by anything. 

“You can be honest with me, (Y/n),” he insisted gently.

Your fingers curled around the green can, applying slight pressure. He caught a flicker of vulnerability passing through your eyes before you lowered your gaze to the wooden table.

“I just…I just feel like I’m falling apart,” you confessed quietly, your resolve finally crumbling.

You paused to exhale shakily, feeling the weight of your emotions that you’d kept bottled up long past their expiration date. 

“I’m so tired of holding it all together,” you said, your voice cracking with emotion. “Pretending like everything’s fine when it’s not.”

Jeno listened carefully and nodded lightly in understanding. “You don’t have to pretend with me. Suppressing your emotions won’t make them disappear.”

Before you could register it, your cheek began to feel wet and your hands instinctively moved to cover your eyes. Fresh, hot tears soaked through your fingers as your shoulders trembled. You tried to stop the flow, but they continued unabated.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized, the self-conscious part of you horrified at the act of crying in front of someone. And not just anyone, but Jeno.

The dark-haired male reached out to gently pat your shoulder. “It’s okay,” he whispered, his touch offering a comforting presence. Despite feeling humiliated, you sensed the sincerity in his words.

“It’s just…everyone expects me to be strong and level-headed when I’m not either of those things in reality,” you sobbed, tears continuing to spill out mercilessly. “No one can see that I’m suffering. No one cares.”

Although Jeno wasn’t great at showing it, hearing this from you made his heart sink. He had no idea you had been fighting this mental battle. Shame filled him for not recognizing your struggles sooner. 

With his hand still on your shoulder, he spoke softly. “I care, (Y/n). More than I probably should, actually.

Amidst your breakdown, you picked up on the subtle implication in his response and your gaze flickered up to look at him with confusion. 

A small sigh left Jeno’s lips. He didn’t intend for his feelings to be revealed in this way. But this was not the time to have that conversation. 

“I know you don’t need a confession right now,” he said, shaking his head before meeting your eyes once more. “But…can I hug you?”

At first glance, Jeno didn’t seem like the type of person to be physically affectionate, even with friends. However, after knowing personally you learned just how much of a softie he could be. Of course, he wasn’t touchy with you out of respect. But you often witnessed this behavior with Jaemin since they were pretty close.

Your breath caught in your throat, your heart pounding with uncertainty. Usually, you weren’t someone who liked to be physically comforted—or perhaps you weren’t used to it. Yet, the idea of being hugged by Jeno didn’t sound too bad at that moment.

So you nodded, and he scooted over to wrap his arms around you. His embrace was firm yet gentle, not overwhelming. Enveloped in Jeno’s arms, you felt a warmth spread through your chest, a sense of solace you hadn’t known you needed. He let you cry into his shoulder, patting your back soothingly.

Despite the chaos of your inner turmoil, your feelings for Jeno didn’t feel so platonic anymore after that night. Or maybe there had always been something there that you never gave a second thought to before. Either way, Jeno was the safest place for you right now. 

Even as everything seemed to fall apart, he was there to reassure you that you didn’t have to be alone anymore.

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