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#he just makes the BEST pain faces
uncanny-tranny · 5 months
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I think what might actually help the families of trans loved ones is to actually engage with where the trans person is at - especially if the family isn't quite understanding yet. When I came out, I was completely alone in figuring out my manhood. I had peers and I had exposed myself to so many trans people who explored gender, and while it was amazing, it isn't quite the same at times. I grieve quietly, sometimes, about all the missed opportunities that might have just made it easier for my family to have seen how utterly happy I was. It took them a very long time to actually notice that I was happy, especially once I got on testosterone. I'm lucky that they saw that happiness eventually, and slowly accepted it. My manhood is completely detached from their influence, both to my relief and chagrin. It's sad to me that I learned to shave from a kind online stranger, somebody who didn't even have a father and yet, I do. I have a father. I grieve at the loss of a potential shared experience. I grieve about the pain I went through when I was in that stage of transition, especially because it was raw and vulnerable. I grieve that many trans people today are traversing the path I had to, because it's sometimes lonely (even when you do have other forms of support).
It's hard to know that I will never have gotten my sense of being from my family. In many ways, it has severed a lot of connection with them because there were so many times that I was begging them to see happiness when they were focused on the idea that I was almost in a state of purgatory - flesh which felt warm but held no familiarity to them. I don't harbor ill-will toward them, I hope I don't leave the impression that I despise them. I understand what they felt, even if I can't conceptualize it myself. However, it's a raw wound in my heart, and I don't want to leave anybody else feeling that way, either.
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jahiera · 6 months
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shoutout to the old guy who stared across from me in the park while I was eating mcdonald’s in my car. listening to which witch by florence. thinking about her
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derpu-doodles · 2 months
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(pats the top of his head) this guy can fit So Much Sadness in him
whoops I popped off in the tags
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quietwingsinthesky · 3 months
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the amount of time i spend thinking about Even carrying the metacrisis doctor’s fob watch is really quite disproportionate to how much ive fleshed out that part of the story in my head
#i still find myself not caring if the metacrisis doctor couldnt use one. he can because i said so and because donna shouldn’t get amnesiaed#alone.#but anyway. even. its just something about like.#here is your best friend. the man who showed you how big the universe could be. its still him human or not. its still the doctor.#can’t call him that. have to watch your tongue always because no matter how familiar their faces are. these two people do not remember#everything you did together and never can. at least they still love each other. nothing could change that. that’s what matters. you steer#them into each other’s lives so carefully and watch to see if they’re going to get hurt. but they don’t. it’s okay.#and still. and still. you carry your best friend’s life. everything that he is. you can hold it in the palm of your hand. he gave it to you.#he entrusted it to you. well. that’s not entirely true. technically you volunteered. but how else could you say thank you.#you made your world so so small again. for him. larger than you would’ve been used to once but you know what galaxies feel like to fly#across. and now you’re stuck in time and space. this is for love too. this is for the life you hold in your hands.#or wear around your neck on a chain. and because you chose this. you can never see him again. or you see him every day and he doesn’t#recognize all of you.#that would make anyone desperate wouldn’t it? make you do something stupid. make you turn to someone you shouldn’t.#even makes bad choices when they are cornered. i think.#dw oc#the important bit is of course that the only way they can ever get rid of it is by their own choice. which they never would choose to do.#(because tentoo won’t take it back. he’s his own person. impressions of the doctor influencing him. but the part of him that is donna doing#so as well. a whole new person. who does not want her memories back and to be unmade.)#but the point is that the moment even takes it. they will never let it go. they will lose it. on painful occasion. but it always finds its#way back. depending on the context this presence and responsibility is either comforting in its constancy.#or. in a less kind world. a horrifying reminder of how far they have fallen from who they tried to be for him.
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jemmo · 2 years
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you’re telling me i don’t get to see his face every wednesday anymore????
and by he, i mean shin
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problemswithbooks · 2 years
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I think the main thing that bugs me when people talk about Endeavor is that I don’t know what they even want from him.
I saw a post for the 356 leaks that said “Does any part of him actually think he tired to pay for his mistakes? Because no. Not even close.”--Like what the fuck do you want from this guy? Serious, what does he have to do to be considered even trying to make up for his mistakes? What does he have to do to even mildly be paying for them? 
Enji has tired to change. He’s listened to his family many times when they tell him he’s not doing enough and done his best to do what they want. He cut himself off from them like Natuso wanted and got Rei a house where she didn’t have to see him ever again, and could be a happy family with Fuyumi, Shoto and Natsuo. 
The only things he hasn’t done is face Touya/ bring him home and quite being a Hero.
The complaint about him not stepping down as a Hero is plain stupid because no one ever asked him to do that. In fact his family specifically told him he couldn’t give up and had to stay on as Endeavor so he could find Touya (because a civilian, former hero or not wouldn’t be aloud to do that). Before Touya was found to be alive not even Natsuo told him he should stop being a Hero, to prove his change of heart/pay for his abuse. So, it’s weird to expect him to suddenly step down randomly when his family never said that it would help them. 
As for Touya--yeah, he’s messed up on that front, I’m not denying that. I think Hori wrote him into a corner, sure, but I admit that it’s still narratively presented as a failing that he hasn’t confronted Touya yet. 
So, to me it seems unfair to say he hasn’t even tried to make up for his past mistakes. Or that he hasn’t paid for them either, when he’s been totally broken as a person, maimed multiple times and lost all public support. Has he gone to jail? No, but that’s about it. In every other way his life is pretty much destroyed. 
And it only makes me more bitter because I’m sure the same people complaining that Enji hasn't payed for his mistakes enough will be singing the LoV’s praises for the most basic and bare minimum change, when they finally get around to being ‘redeemed’. Like it’s pretty clear at this point anything Enji does won’t be good enough and it just makes me so frustrated because it comes from people who talk endlessly about second chances for their own favs, who have done just as much fucked up shit as Enji.  
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leatherbookmark · 1 year
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whatever you imagine happened during and after this scene is 1000% better than what happened in the actual show
#shrimp thoughts#(nothing. nothing happened)#(i thought fei lian would have a role in defeating him. yknow as the good friend who hates seeing yu huan Evil and Heartless#(what yh tells him here is LITERALLY that he has no heart anymore lol) and would rather kill him than see this great man like this!#but uhhh no literally nothing of that sort happened and yh was Magic Attacked into disintegrating because that's how villains go now ig#anyway as i must have said back then i am imagining the tense drama-filled au in which fl goes something like. what will it take to stop#you? i'll do Everything and there's a flicker of red in yh's eyes because i think that's very cool and also sexy#and this is how fl becomes yh's concubine and they rule with an iron fist etcetc i didn't watch the show#also i didn't watch the show SO i don't know what's up with mr grandpa and yh but i think it would be good FOR ME if yh needed to#get rid of that evil energy once in a while. lbh style#and fl lies awake at night having just been fucked into next thursday. yh is dead asleep next to him and he does his best not to look at his#face because he knows he's going to see his old friend and he's going to be overwhelmed with stupid fondness and the urge to tease him#about his stupid little frown even when he's asleep! loosen up dude or there won't be a mrs yu huan in the future!#and he's going to forget that every day he doesn't slit yh's throat in his bed is another day of suffering for innocent people#every day he spends wondering at what point can he start gently pushing yh towards relaxing that iron fist; towards maybe making things#better for people who don't deseve to live in pain -- is a day those people spend living in pain because of his inactivity#he should kill this man. as soon as possible to avoid sentiment muddling his morality. he should do it before it's too late#(but he knows that it has been too late when he agreed.)#THIS IS WHAT I'M THINKING ABOUT. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED. IN MY HEART. I AM FINE IF YOU WANT TO KNOW
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bo0zey · 1 year
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my manager has kids:(😕 but i have a new resident doctor crush soooo;)😳
#i knew i didn’t stand a chance !!!!!#also i saw my first pediatric cardiac arrest today#i was okay during the code i was glad i could be helpful i just gave out flushes lol#they didn’t make it but i had a feeling that was gonna be the outcome cuz they were already in rigor mortis when they got to us#the doctor leading the code was the one i’ve recently started talking to more n he’s like rlly friendly w everyone#i wish i knew the difference between someone being nice to me and flirting w me lol#anyways he did really good leading the code as well as the other doctors doing their best n everyone else#he wanted to hold a debriefing w everyone afterwards but i stayed back to clean up the room so when mom say her baby it#wouldn’t be as traumatizing w all the blood snd gastric contents soaked towels and garbage EVERYWHERE#i wish they’d stopped the code sooner the doctor leading the code was the first to point out the baby was in rigor right at the beginning#but obviously cuz it’s a peds case they wanna do everything they can and he literally did EVERYTHING all the code meds u could possibly orde#this stupid lady next to me who had no idea what she was talking abt was like ‘wait i think i see something on the monitor’ n im like bitch?#the baby was literally PEA they’re in fcking rigor mortis stop trying to prolong this horribly aggressive mess just let it end peacefully#baby was asystole throughout the entire code..they couldn’t even intubate him cuz his jaw was clenched so tight#anyways right after everyone agreed w the leading doctor to end it the doc like put both hands on the bed and kinda#bowed his head but i saw the pained look on his face i hope he didn’t blame himself i mean he knew from the start the baby was in rigor and#he asked everyone to give the baby a moment at the end of the code#that’s when they were all gonna go debrief but i stayed behind#anyways my supervisors were asking me if i was ok n i was like yeah bc the baby looked so much more at peace when we readied the room formom#then later the leading code doctor found me and asked if i was okay and i said was fine..i felt better knowing he was already gone before#he got to the hospital and was in literal rigor mortis with a rectal temp of 94 deg F#but i didn’t want to seem too heartless bc i could tell the code had upset him and he was talking in a more quietly#concercdndd voice like he’s usually always loud and joking around like me so :( and the fact that he stopped to talk w me privately n was#genuinely wanting to know if i was okay made me ;-; cuz im not used to being comforted?? or having my emotions validated#i was like ‘yeah im fine now haha it might all hit me later when im driving home alone at the end of the shift lol’#n he gave me a pat on the shoulder n said i did a good job ;—;#ngl i always thought he was kinda cute but i only just started talking n working w him on pts tuesday n i think he likes me????#idk bc he’s friendly n easy to get along w everyone AS AM I but idk we talked 1-1 before n i got a Vibe 😳 from him#but anyways then i got home n had pasta n talked to my fam abt my day and told them i had my first peds cardiac arrest#then all of a sudden something in me switch??i felt myself stiffen n my eyes started watering so i went to my room n ended up crying 4 20min
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orcelito · 2 years
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Rereading discacc chapter 5 to get a better feel for akira's side of those events (bc im deciding concrete times for stuff that happened to him during that time)
Getting sucker punched by each scene tho lmfao. God I feel kinda awful for putting goro thru all that
And then there's the "I'm sorry. I never realized you were suffering." Which HURTS to read in its original context, considering how much that phrase has haunted him through the years. It stands as the embodiment of that Very traumatic experience, and just.
Ow.
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daimoan · 12 days
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dont remember if i ever was this angry at anyone before
#keep thinking abt [redacted]#wack. tbh#like embarrassing idgaf abt this guy why is he still on my mind.#this is some ego feeding shit like its cool to hate and be angry or something?#its just that i think he should be corrected. but the system is not in agreement on this.#guy was like my best friend for a couple months never even asked abt the system lol n theyr like looking out for him#or i guess mby theyre looking out for me/us. so as to not go to jail/be haunted by our choices our whole lives.#whatever#i know how to make it stop it is just taking time and effort. because its like 1. kind of addictive so i keep accidentaly/habitually reinfo#cing it and 2. the other option is to face that im hurt and i cant do shit about it realy other than ... LeArN from it or some shit#like learn what? i already went full schizoid over this.#maybe i dont need to learn shit lol maybe i already did it :)#so just the pain then. and overcoming the hate habit. and like just letting it go and forgetting abt it#but the thing is that he needs to die i think.#i want to kill kill kill kill him so bad.#i hope hes not reading this in case i ask to meet him again sometime. for business.#maybe thats why its still on my mind#because im unwilling to let go of the idea that we could help eachother if i wasnt so stupid hurt over some little thing (the nasty shit he#pulled that hurt me lol) like bro. bro. im not going to just get over it. like thts rly the thing. 3-5 yrs ago i would have totally just#elected to get over it and make up or smth like that.#and im v unwilling to do that now while lots of my brain architecture is still built for that interaction style.#so when im thinking kill kill kill kill im going to [redacted as fuck im not putting that shit online this is already bad enough] mby im#actually killing the mental structures that make me a target for abuse :)))))))))#all is good in the world i love myself and my life. and absolutely no one else. except my mom and my friends and that one other guy who als#might read my blog but i really doubt it bc he doesnt evenrly ask me how im doing or anything . its cool though. for now.
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sukunasweetheart · 3 months
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oh, to fit him like a glove...
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WARNINGS; ooc sukuna, virgin!reader (well... not for long), size kink, BREEDING, vaginal fingering, sukuna only has one dick here cuz i wanted to make it less complicated, COCKWARMING, stomach bulge, degradation, praise, sukuna is a four armed king, overstimulation, mouth-hands, EXCESSIVE CUM
based on this anon's ask! dividers credit; @/cafekitsune
word count; 3k
imagine being sukuna's precious princess of a wife-- whom he spoils and dotes on because its in his interests to do so. like any other woman, youre tiny compared to him, so having you take his cock eventually will be very tedious work, and sukuna will need a lot of patience.
and we all know, sukuna is the most patient man in the world... at least when it means that it'll be worth it for him at the end. and to him, you are worth everything.
he's proud and pleased to be your first... sukuna can't help but feel keen about the idea that he will be the only one ever to have had the pleasure of being so intimate with you.
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he watches you intently, as you struggle to take even two of his thick fingers in your tight hole, tearing up and whimpering as he tampers with those delicate spots inside you.
"nngh.. sukuna... that feels so good..." you whimper his name delightfully, it almost makes his enduring patience snap.
outwardly, his face looks calm as he looks down at you with soft lust that takes the form of an almost blank expression.
"does it?" he asks, with a certain playfulness in his voice.
his fingers move a little faster, scissoring you inside and pressing in an upwards manner, where it makes you gasp the most. you're producing so much slick, but your hole is still so tight and unrelenting, clenching around his thick digits even more. sukuna thinks about good it'd feel if his dick was inside instead, and he feels himself aching with desire, twitching and leaking precum from his hidden erection.
...not yet.
he dutifully touches you to your orgasm, and watches with a hitched breath as you tremble on his fingers, walls fluttering against them. your sighs and soft moans reach his ears like nothing else.
his extra hands grope at your breasts, finding solace in them.
"do you think i'm ready yet?" you ask tenderly, after your breath returns to normal.
"... hardly, my love. that was only two of my fingers," sukuna tells you languidly, as he feeds your slick on his digits to the mouth on his stomach.
"only two? oh dear..." you sigh with sorrow, "will i ever be able to take you whole one day?"
he smirks at the question, and leans down into your chest while holding ahold of your hand.
"well of course. i'll make it happen no matter what. i promise."
the way he says it sends a shiver down your spine.
when it does happen, you best be ready for him to breed you full every night.
however, on some days, the urge gets unbearable, even for himself. he's been saving himself up a little, so he could pour everything inside you when the time comes, but the lust gets overwhelming, clouding his sight and judgement.
one night, you gesture towards the bulge in his pants, with a shaking hand.
"what about you? isn't it painful to always withhold yourself like that?" you ask, wanting for him to feel good as well, instead of just yourself.
sukuna grows silent, sweating bullets as his dick throbs upon your mention of it.
the next minute, he's taking it out and slotting it between your thighs, rubbing up against your slit and seeing how the size compares to your stomach.
the temptation is too great.
not. yet.
this was the whole reason he was avoiding using his cock with your body in the first place - because he was afraid he'd cave in and attempt to deflower you when you weren't ready yet, still too tight for him to squeeze in, causing you pain only.
if it were anyone else, he wouldn't bother... but you're one that he cherishes too much... he wants to work to make the end result even tastier. the moment where he'll finally claim you entirely.
the bed creaks as he thrusts in and out between your thighs, rubbing his twitching dick against your hole oozing with slick, also brushing up onto your clit that's swollen from arousal.
" 'm sorry... i wish... there was more i could do..." you whimper sweetly, squeezing one of his large hands.
"there's no need for that. whatever i can't put inside you now... i'll pump in twice as much, once you're ready for me," sukuna whispers gently, holding your hand back, a groan resounding in the back of his throat.
rewards become so much sweeter after restraint. like how you wouldn't pick and eat an unripe fruit from a tree.
"you're doing plenty enough for me... for now," he tells you breathlessly. he adores the glossy look in your eyes.
his cock continues to glide back and forth, and he feels so hot between your thighs.
"i... i want your tip inside when you cum, please," you say, eyeing his dick with a certain neediness.
"are you sure, love?" he asks, hoping you'll say yes. you nod fervently.
sukuna feels lightheaded at the thought of it, all the while his dick gets more and more sensitive against your thighs... his balls feel so heavy and full, all those times he held himself back coming to catch up on him.
you squeeze your legs around him harder, making him groan, cock pulsing for all it's worth. he thinks about how tightly your walls would clamp around him. the heat from your insides, and your slick covering his shaft. he's close.
he suddenly spreads your legs.
at this stage, he's only barely able to get his tip past your entrance. it's possible when he does it slowly enough. you whine beneath him, doing your best to not go against his arms that are pinning your legs down.
a drop of sweat rolls down the side of his face. sukuna uses an extra hand to stroke the rest of his dick as his tip remains snug inside your puckering hole. when it comes, he gives a choked-off gasp from how good his first-in-a-while release feels.
he has to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from burying himself any further.
the ropes of cum seep and trickle into your womb in thick, heavy spurts, and the hotness of it gets you breathing unevenly, being so aroused by this sensation. there's a copious amount. he continues jerking himself off to get every last droplet out, and his own hand can feel the intense twitches of the veins on his erection.
it's not nearly enough to satisfy him, but it's enough to keep him patient.
once his tip pops out from your wet hole again, his spend come out of it in large globs, and sukuna can't help but admire the sight, his dick twitching weakly in his hand.
he abstains from cumming all over again for another few weeks- another few weeks of stretching you out with his fingers, and prepping you to perfection.
when the day finally creeps up, where he believes you're ready to take him whole, sukuna hears and feels his heartbeat in his own ears.
ever so slowly. he's sitting down on the edge of the bed, and he has you lower yourself on his throbbing cock as he's face to face with you, ever so slowly. your body trembles lightly and he feels it on his hands and fingers as they're placed against your hips. sukuna senses your anxiousness that flows from you in large waves.
your hole is so tight, trying to push the intrusion out, but the wetness from your slick helps his cock slip inside easier, and sukuna's breath is kept within the back of his throat as you swallow him up deeper and deeper.
he's sweating. you're sweating. but soon enough, you're sat on his lap completely, having gotten all of him inside you at last. you can barely breathe with how tightly you enclose around him. how his cock is nudged up snugly against your cervix, pushing the literal air out of your lungs. and the way you feel it twitching inside.
sukuna has never been more patient, more self disciplined, more repressed than in this moment. one wrong movement and he feels like he could snap and start thrusting in without concern for you in any moment. no. he shouldn't do that. it would ruin all everything he's done to build you up for this moment.. but your walls keep tauntingly squeezing around him...
"i- i can finally fit all of you inside..." you say with glee, tears on your lashes, but looking very proud of yourself. it snaps him back to sanity, a little bit.
"of course... you were made for me, after all. so perfectly mine, fitting me like a glove," sukuna mumbles, as his bigger tongue licks against your clit, arousing you more so that you could loosen up for him. his praise gets to your head and makes you feel sheepish, wanting to do more to please him. but you don't think you can do that, just yet.
"can we stay like this for a bit, please?"
"that would be...for the best. can't have my wife splitting in half, can i?" sukuna jests rather sinisterly.
"oh, you..." you pout at him. the larger tongue rubs against you more persistently to distract you, and he smirks as it does the trick. you whimper, and your walls pulse gently around him making him groan. your eyes get half lidded, already feeling somewhat exhausted, and you lean your face against the large man's chest.
veins are bulging out of his arms, and one on his forehead. you seem so relaxed, unbeknownst to the fact that he's currently doing everything to keep himself together. you're like a tiny mouse trapped in the claws of a tiger.
sukuna starts to bite and kiss down your neck and shoulder to satiate himself.
few minutes after you've calmed yourself a little, your eyes start wandering down, taking notice of the bump on your stomach, from having him inside you.
"it goes without saying, but you're so big..." you press against it without thinking, and you feel him throb inside you intensely. sukuna grabs your wrist with a growl.
"are you trying to test my patience right now?"
you look at him with wide eyes, from how unusually on edge he is... something about him being all restless makes you feel aroused. you're doing that to him. a man who rarely ever feels. but you've gotten him all sensitive.
" 'm sorry. kiss me?" you ask sweetly, lips curling up in a foxy way.
his gaze softens.
"when you ask me so sweetly... i can't deny you, can i?"
and he leans down to press his lips onto yours, despite seeing the mischief in your eyes. your arms go around his neck, and as he's kissing you, his hands go for your breasts.
you tighten up on his leaking dick, making him moan into your mouth. his grip on your hips squeeze harder, but he doesn't stop kissing you.
you want to make him cum. you want him to lose control from being inside you.
sukuna breaks the kiss with a little choked off heave, when you begin to roll your hips around him slightly.
"you're getting awfully ahead of yourself-"
you cut him off by latching your mouth to the side of his neck, suckling and running your tongue against his skin while your hips keep moving.
he'd call you cute, but it's working. sukuna grits his teeth and his eyes get heavy lidded, dick getting impossibly harder. his heavy breathing adds to your excitement.
"i never knew my wife was such a whore. i'll be sure to return this favour later," sukuna tells you with a low voice, his hands now guiding your hips against him.
you're wordless, as you continue running your lips and tongue up his skin, moving onto his jawline, only giving a whine in response, feeling his tip press into the entrance of your womb.
such lousy movement usually wouldn't be near enough for him, but...
his head lulls back, exposing the way his adam's apple bobs up and down as he swallows thickly, getting close... your little kitten thrusts and the way you're tonguing the sensitive area under his jaw...
sukuna's hips jolt into you for the last time.
" 'm cumming-"
his mouth hangs open as he releases - dumping weeks' worth of seed into your cunt. his body jerks against you and you bite into his shoulder.
his cock throbs erotically in your clamping walls, and you milk him effortlessly, and you moan on his neck, while still suckling and tonguing the same area, feeling the hotness of his cum as it thickly pours into you, making your belly swell a bit from it.
sukuna groans as he seeds your womb properly for the first time, two hands on your hips, one against the back of your neck, and the remaining arm wrapped around your waist to keep you still as his dick pulses inside you.
your head is whirring from the tense situation, being creampied so lewdly for the first time, to think that he's released inside, and the feeling of his every breath as he orgasms, is enough to make you feel so exhilarated.
suddenly, he stills.
it makes you a little nervous, so you detach your upper body from him and aim to look at his expression. but before you can make any further movement, you're suddenly thrown onto your back against the soft mattress of the bed in the speed of light. he keeps himself buried in you, making sure to plug you up nicely.
when you meet his eyes after a shocked gasp, you see his darkened expression, his eyebrows furrowed, but his mouth curved up in a toothy, sinister grin.
"you really tested me back there, didn't you?" he rasps, grabbing your face and forcing you to keep your gaze on him.
"i hope you're aware that i'm not letting you get a wink of sleep tonight."
not a word gets out of your mouth, before sukuna pulls his dick back, and slams his hips into you, his thick cock dragging against your tight walls.
your voicebox makes a noise that you never thought was possible, a noise that's mixed with both a moan and a scream.
"oh, fuck..." sukuna mumbles gutturally, beginning to thrust in and out of you the way he's always wanted to. your hands fist the sheets behind your head, and his hands keep your legs spread apart for him, while the other two pinch at your breasts roughly, groping at your flesh so brazenly.
his heavy balls slap against your ass as his hips rut into you, making sure to drive himself in to the hilt, before pulling out to the tip and doing that all over again.
you squeal and mewl under him, eyes watering from pleasure and already getting overstimulated as he fucks you senseless. to think that only a few weeks ago, you were only able to fit two of his fingers. it all feels like a fever dream.
sukuna breathes heavily, his muscles glistening from his own sweat as he indulges in his reward, his reward of you, and your cunt that is finally nice and loose for him, sheathing him so nicely, coating his dick with your slick like the harlot you are. his laboured breaths stutter when your walls pulse around him as you reach your orgasm-- your head tilting back into the mattress.
cock leaking more precum into you, sukuna's eyes become half lidded again as he gets close to his second release.
"you're gonna drive me crazy," he grunts, as his tip reaches your cervix again and again and again.
his thrusts become erratic, and then halts as he busts another thick load into you, making you cry out pitifully.
"fuuck, fuck, fuck...." sukuna shudders, leaning down on his forearms, getting so close that you feel his breath ghosting against your skin, while his other two hands grip onto the sides of your hips. his pecs rub up into your tits and the tongue from his stomach messily laps away at your clit as he empties his balls into you, your pussy seemingly trying to squeeze him dry.
all of his eyes close up as he then kisses you like he's trying to swallow up your tongue. you whimper against his lips, doing your best to reciprocate, struggling to keep up with the pace of this kiss.
he breaks away from your lips.
"c'mon, not good enough. put your tongue into it more," he instructs breathlessly, with somewhat of a disappointed expression. your mind is too hazy from the intense lust but you give a short nod with teary eyes, which makes him smirk before pushing his lips onto you again.
you kiss him back the most you can, and he hums in pleasure, your tongue finally intertwining with his. it distracts you from how full you feel right now, even with only two of his loads in you.
his thrusts slowly start back up again.
"s-sukuna-!" you gasp, breaking the kiss.
"i warned you... it's gonna be a long night," sukuna tells you. he seems to have become more sound of mind after that second orgasm.
"give me more..." he mutters, leaning against the crook of your neck, and licking a stripe up against it, "my precious wife."
your arms wrap around his neck, holding him tight. he grins, and you feel it on your skin.
... eventually when his third load fills you up, he's running his tongue against the shell of your ear, two mouths sucking at each of your nipples, from the way he clasped his palms over your breasts at the last second.
you're trembling beneath him, tears now running down the side of your face, babbling nonsensical words at him.
sukuna leans back to run his third hand through his disheveled hair to slick it up again, and he grins at your state of overstimulation. he feels so good inside you. it was worth waiting and preparing you for so long.
once your orgasm subsides a bit, he finally detaches his mouth-hands away from your tits, making a line of saliva stretch between in the process. then, the mouths disappear. your body relaxes. but sukuna's cock is still inside you.
"you alright, my love?" he asks smugly, looking down at your state of fatigue caused by intense pleasure.
you mumble out something of a 'yes', and he chuckles. his eyes trail down to your now slightly pudgy stomach.
"you're so full with me, my dear wife. haha, it's quite the lovely sight," sukuna tells you softly, pressing his hand down softly against the swell of your tummy. you jolt a little, whining.
"sukuna... too full..."
he leans down closer to your face and wipes the sweat off your forehead, before bringing his lips to the same area gently.
"we can stay like this for a few minutes. rest up. but we're not done yet."
he hasn't even had the chance to sink his teeth into you yet. just a little more. you can do that for him, can't you?
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Masterlist
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cocklessboy · 10 months
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The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.
I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.
And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!
We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.
There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.
Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.
Except...
I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.
I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.
The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.
Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".
There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.
And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.
His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.
I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.
That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.
I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.
Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.
Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.
If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.
It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.
I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.
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angelltheninth · 2 months
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Soft Yandere Boyfriend Turns Rough when He Sees His Best Friend Flirting with You
Pairing: Soft Male!Yandere x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, gentle to rough sex, possessiveness, yandere behavior, marking, biting, hickeys, hands pinned above your head
A/N: He can be crazy, just a bit. A tiny bit.
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Your soft!yandere boyfriend never hurt a soul. You didn't think him capable of such a thing, he was protective but very gentle, even avoiding fighting when it can be done. Luckily he was more on the muscular side so him looking at someone wrong tended to do the job. You also noticed that every time it happened he was a bit rougher with you in bed, like he needed an outlet.
The only time you saw your soft!yandere boyfriend get into a fight it was with his best friend after he flirted with you as a joke. At lest his friend insisted it was a joke but after that fight your boyfriend wasn't buying that excuse. He took you by the hand after he yelled at his friend some more and wasted no time walking you home and immediately stripping.
He needed you. He needed this. He needed to know you would never leave him. With teary eyes your soft!yandere boyfriend kissed you, telling you he was sorry you had to see that, see him lose his temper. After this he'll try to talk to his friend for crossing a line but first he has to make sure you still love him and want to be with him.
Like those times before he pins you against the bed, angling his cock with your entrance while his hands pin your hands above your head. At time like this he doesn't seem like the soft!yandere boyfriend that you feel in love with, he is almost a different person. He looks, sounds, smells the same but the way he fucks you couldn't be more different.
Soft!yandere boyfriend doesn't take his stormy eyes off yours as he makes love to you. He needs this reassurance, he needs to see the love in your eyes as they glaze over with each pump of his hips against your own. His full balls ache with the need to be drained by you, his cock pulsing and stimulating your deepest, most sensitive spots. You can hardly keep the eye contact but you don't want to stop looking at him when he's this wild, when he shows you this hidden, rough side of him.
Your soft!yandere boyfriend keeps this possessive side hidden even from you, only allowing you to see it in moments like there. Moments where he as to make sure you're his and he's yours. To further assure you both of this he allows you to scratch his back as you come, meanwhile his teeth find the soft flesh of your breasts, biting harshly, too hard, the spiking pain sending you over the edge and him soon after.
The next day your soft!yandere boyfriend is back to his old self, apologizing to getting rough but happy that you enjoy it. When he kisses even bruise and bite he left on you he decides to call his friend to try and make up with him. When the three of you meet up there a big, proud smile blooming on his face when his friend notices the hickeys peaking from behind both your shirts.
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tojiphile · 9 months
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thinking about big boys who make it fit. you try to protest, fidget and squirm out of his calloused hands but he grips your waist firmly, pulling you back towards him.
“my darling girl,” he coos, “don’t you trust me?” he brushes a stray hair out of your face, wiping the tears streamed down furiously, your eyes squeezed shut. he laughs and presses a large hand to your stomach, “you’ll be a good girl for daddy, won’t you?”
through sobs, you find the strength to nod as he aligns himself at your entrance. he uses his thick fingers to spread your soaking cunt, the other hand guiding himself in slowly. “that’s it baby, you got this.” his fat cock inches his way in, and you feel the stretch, clenching down on him, shaking your head as if in a trance. he shushes you, leaning down to press a kiss on your forehead. “relax, it’ll hurt less.”
you heed his words and release the tension in your stomach. he audibly sighs as he continues pushing his way into you, causing you to whimper until the tip of his dick has pressed up against your cervix. satisfied, he traces the outline his cock is leaving in your tummy, giving it a squeeze as you barely get out the words, “so- full!” he laughs and grips your waist, pulling you off his cock and making you gasp at the sudden movement. before you have time to protest, he’s slamming himself into you again, the lewd sound of his balls slapping against your ass and both your groans fill the room. your cries of pain seem to only spur him on as he continues thrusting into you harshly.
“look at me,” he pants, “look at me while i fuck you silly.” you open your eyes only to meet his, then quickly shutting them in embarrassment. he laughs, “look at my sweet, darling girl, being fucked like the whore she is.” you whine in response but release a gasp when his fingers find your swollen clit, rubbing in quick circles and forcing your stomach to clench up. “don’t cum yet, my darling, hold it there, wait for me.”
you try your best to not cum, squirming from both the pain of him bottoming out and the pleasure from him toying with your sensitive bud. “i’m close baby, just say my name. say my name.” he can’t tell if you’re obedient, or just too fucked out to do anything but obey but when you cry out “daddy!” it’s all over for him.
“now.” he presses the bulge in your stomach down and you can feel the orgasmic joy washing over you like blinding lights, your body shaking, absolutely overwhelmed by him. he fucks you like a man in heat, bottomming out as he reaches his peak, gripping you hard. you can feel the warmth of his cum spreading in your cunt as he collapses on you, kissing your cheek.
TOJI FUSHIGURO, gojo satoru, geto suguru, TODO AOI, bokuto kotaru, TERUSHIMA YUJI, kaeya, ARATAKI ITTO, childe
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werecreature-addicted · 2 months
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okay but what a fallen angel who you happen to stumble upon all bloody and bruised. and we must take him home to care for him and oops somehow we end up in his lap taking care of him in other ways…
poor thing. pathetic and wretched. He doesn't deserve your soft touch, but he accepts it anyway. who cares if he's being selfish right now, greedy and sinful. He's already fallen, how much worse can it get? you treat him the best you can, his injuries heal on their own, but he doesn't tell you that. He like your touch, and the way you coo at him that "this might sting a little bit". It does sting but he doesn't mind. He's fascinated by this new sensation of pain. Injuries never touched him before in the heavens. it's... not good, but it is fascinating.
His wings heal, and work again but the feathers turn black, marking his fall. You should be disgusted with him, he's defied his master, and now he's something unholy. You seem fascinated by his wings, running your fingers through his soft wings, and telling him how pretty he looks. and your laugh, heavens above, your laugh is sweeter than any church bells, he thinks he'd do anything to hear you giggle for him and see you smile.
He's obsessed with your touch, with the warmth your hands bring. He doesn't know what "touch starved" means until you explain it to him but it perfectly describes him and how he feels. He's an angel, not a human, he shouldn't need skinship like you do. but he does crave it. he doesn't want to let you go when you hug him. he finds himself pressing his face into your palm, forcing you to cradle his cheek the way you did that first night when you found him.
As an angel, all be it a fallen one, he's never had sex but he wasn't born yesterday. Lust has always been a temptation he struggled with. He knows what it means when his heartbeat quickens every time you're near. he knows he wants to kiss you, touch every inch of you, fuck you. He's aware of his own carnal desires, he's just so used to denying these wants he isn't sure how to act on them.
He truly does have pure intentions when he pulls you onto his lap. holding you in his big arms. But then you shift a little too much and your mouth is already so close to his... you'll take care of him, right? you'll take his big cock and make him cum like he needs, right? you're his savor, and now bringing him to ecstasy like this, He'll gladly devote himself to you, just keep riding him like that.
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sabersandsnipers · 7 months
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Drabbles: Just One Bed
Featuring: Astarion, Gale, Halsin, Lord Gortash
Inspiration courtesy of @creativepromptsforwriting
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Astarion
There’s only one pillow. So you and Astarion have to share. Neither of you want the annoyance of waking up with neck pain. And after arguing for a bit, you realize neither of you is winning.
Despite trying his best to keep distance between you, it’s incredibly difficult while trying to share a pillow. His body cradles yours. His lips nearly touch the back of your neck. For a while he manages to keep his hands to himself, but as his eyes grow heavy, his arm snakes its way around your waist.
Your body feels like its on fire despite his cold skin. You’re worried the rapid beat of your heart will keep him awake.
Somehow sleep eventually finds you. In the middle of the night, you roll over to find a more comfortable position. When you wake up, you find your face buried in Astarion’s chest.
He himself hasn’t slept since you rolled into him. He’s kept his arm slung over you, though, and has listened to your steady breathing all night.
When you attempt to move away from him, his grip around you automatically tightens. You freeze, waiting for him to realize you’re awake, but he doesn’t let go. He doesn’t want to. He can’t remember the last time he felt this relaxed. Your body is warm and soft, and he never wants to leave this bed.
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Gale
The bed is roomy, which you’re grateful for. There should be plenty of space for you two. There’s no blanket though, so Gale roots through the closet for one.
Gale clears his throat, and you turn your attention to him holding up a rather small blanket. One that definitely would not cover the whole bed.
“You have it,” he hands it to you. “I’ll be fine.”
You hesitate. “Are you sure?”
“Most definitely,” he replies, already making his way to the bed.
You climb in next to him, pulling the blanket up to your chin. It’s barely big enough to cover your own person. You look to Gale, who’s turned away from you. He looks so exposed, and frankly, uncomfortable.
“Gale?” you say.
“Hm?” he turns to look at you.
“Do you want to share?” you ask. You hold up the blanket so he can slide in.
He doesn’t need to be asked twice. He scooches over to you, and you let the blanket drop around you two. You let out a sigh of contentment as the warmth of Gale’s body presses against you. You usually run cold, so you’re grateful he accepted your offer.
He wraps his arms around you, because there’s no other way for you two to get comfortable. In the night, he even drapes a leg over you. You don’t mind, you even find yourself nuzzling into him, seeking every bit of warmth you can.
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Halsin
A rainstorm tears your tent in the night. The cold splatter of rain on your face wakes you. Your bedroll is soaked, along with most of your belongings. You groan, getting out of bed so you can seek shelter with a companion. 
Out of all the tents before you, Halsin’s calls to you. You know it’ll be the warmest. Before you can talk yourself out of it, you make your way to his tent. 
You poke your head in. “Halsin?”
He wakes, an alarmed look on his face. “What is it?”
“My tent ripped. Can I stay with you?” A shiver slinks through your body. 
He nods. “Of course.”
He opens his bed roll a bit, and you see he’s naked. Your jaw drops. You hesitate, part of you feeling like you’re crossing a line. 
But then another shiver hits you, and you practically run into his arms. You sigh as you slide into the warmth of his bedroll. 
Halsin groans. “You’re freezing.” 
  “I know.” You don’t hesitate to press up against him, soaking in all his warmth. 
  “You’ll warm up soon,” he says, rubbing your back. Then his voice hits your ear. “You’d warm sooner if you removed your clothes as well.” 
Your stomach drops. You know if you do this, your companionship is going to get a bit complicated. But the thought of his hot skin against yours is too tempting.
He helps you out of your clothes, your heart fluttering the whole time. When you’re fully naked, he pulls you into his chest. Your heart pounds, but you relax against the heat of him. 
He fully cocoons you, wrapping a thick leg around you to pull you even closer. You feel your body start to warm, and the shivers start to cease. You try to ignore how perfectly lined up you are to him. You know sleep will be impossible like this, but it’s worth it to spend the night in his warm embrace.
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Gortash
You may have had one drink too many. The wine Enver provided for you was far too good to go to waste. And waste you did not.  The last thing you remember is the soft cushioning of a bed before darkness took you. 
The harsh morning light wakes you. The first sensation that hits you is that of a pounding headache. The next is that of a pair of strong arms encircling you. 
Confusion hits you. You don’t remember going to bed with anyone. You feel your underwear is on, so nothing happened with whoever is in the bed with you. 
You slowly turn your body to see who this mystery person is. You’re met with the strong face of Lord Gortash. Butterflies fill your belly. He simply invited you over for dinner, and here he is letting you sleep in his bed. 
He’s sound asleep, his soft breathing evidence of the relaxed state he’s in. He’s sleeping shirtless, and you tentatively place your palms against his strong chest. You feel the strong muscles rippling under his skin. 
He stirs slightly and you quickly hide your face against his chest. He shifts, his chest hairs tickling your skin. His powerful arms hold you so gently.
With your headache forgotten, and Enver’s body sending waves of warmth through you, sleep finds you again.
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