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forestdeath1 · 29 days

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People say that Sirius never realised how offensive his words were until James or Remus said it to him.

I personally disagree with this take. I think, Sirius was very aware of how offensive his words and actions were. James didn't realise, but Sirius did.

Sirius finds people's sore spots and deliberately hits them. This is not James's "morally orientated" and rather impersonal bullying, this is a deliberate way of humiliating people Sirius doesn't particularly respect. People want to believe Sirius "didn't realise" what he was doing because it's easier to love Sirius and justify their Wolfstar that way, but Sirius always understood what he was doing, unlike James. Sirius probably rarely crossed the line beyond psychological bullying, but didn't stop James from physical bullying – he found it fun. But he himself hardly participated in physical aggression, although he obviously could have, being magically and physically gifted. It seems Sirius had drawn the line for himself.

Sirius wasn’t a little stupid boy, he matured very early, he had a very good understanding of boundaries and was always very aware of where he and James were crossing those boundaries.

“Bad luck, Prongs,” said Sirius briskly.

Sirius knew about James's crush on Lily and found it even funny that she rejected him. Because Sirius understood that James often crossed the line, and Lily’s reaction was quite fair.

‘What is it with her?’ said James, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him.

‘Reading between the lines, I’d say she thinks you’re a bit conceited, mate,’ said Sirius.

While James played the splendid knight in shining armor, Sirius found it all amusing. Because it was fun for him. And no one told him he was doing anything wrong, he already knew it. Remus mostly stayed quiet, sometimes making them “feel ashamed", haha. He's just much more socially anxious than Sirius, he doesn't like being "unliked." Sirius has zero social anxiety, he didn't care whether people loved him or not (besides, James loved him, what else did he need? Right, nothing).

And I think Sirius truly only respected James. Someone who Sirius truly respects, he never hurt. The moment when Sirius "hurts" Harry in book five is a pretty harsh moment, because Sirius loses respect for Harry for a brief moment because Harry turns out to be different from James. But then Sirius shows a new and even stronger respect for Harry. It's a good moment. This moment allowed Sirius to grow in his relationship with Harry.

And it's obvious Sirius respected Lily by fifth year. And after Azkaban, he "learned" to respect others (he reacted pretty gently in his argument with Molly), but his arrogance still showed sometimes (ie, he rudely cut off Hermione, not letting her finish her thought).

Anyway, what had changed with age wasn't that Sirius had realised that his words and actions were offensive. He always knew that. And he had shown even after Azkaban how cruel he could be to those he didn't respect. The only thing that changed was that Sirius started respecting random people more, instead of sitting around like a shiny royal arse.

But there is a NUANCE here. Sirius most likely always treated girls with respect by default. Idk why I just feel it :D With Hermione, they just didn't see eye to eye.

#sirius black #the marauders #sirius black meta

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casurlaub · 7 days

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Things fanon and I don't agree on #2

Fanon: James openly pursuing Lily for YEARS, crushing on her since second year or sth, asking her out repeatedly.

Canon: ??? Based on what we know about James and Lily, the fanon depiction doesn't seem too likely to me

That's what happened in "Snape's Worst Memory":

'I will, if you go out with me, Evans,' said James quickly. 'Go on… go out with me and I’ll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.' 'I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,' said Lily.

[...]

'I don’t want you to make him apologize,' Lily shouted, rounding on James. 'You’re as bad as he is.'

'What?." yelped James. 'I’d never call you a - you-know-what!'

'Messing up your hair, because you think it’s cool to look like you’ve just got off your broomstick, shoving off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I’m surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.'

[...]

'What is it with her?,' said James, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him.

'Reading between the lines, I’d say she thinks you’re a bit conceited, mate,' said Sirius.

'Right,' said James, who looked furious now, 'right-'

There was another flash of light and Snape was once again hanging upside down in the air.

'Who wants to see me take off Snivelly’s pants?'

I take two things from that:

James was surprised by Lily's rejection. Now I fully agree that he has a huge ego and although smart (yes, he and Sirius were described as exceptionally talented more than once) I don't think he's necessarily too good at reading other people's emotions (I mean, it's obviously not super smart to bully her friend in front of her and expect it to turn out in his favor). But if she had turned him down repeatedly over the years already her reaction wouldn't have come as such a surprise to him. But he obviously is surprised ('What's it with her?'/'Right... right')

He doesn't react well to rejection. She turns him down and he escalates ('Who wants to see me take off Snivelly’s pants?'). He isn't used to rejection. Everybody thinks he and Sirius are 'the height of cool' (Remus's words). He has been doted to by his parents and is super popular at school. And then she dares bruise his ego and he escalates. He doesn't strike me as the type of guy who would've just swallowed this humiliation and tried again and again. I think he really needed to mature first to have a few realizations - before he tried again.

And, another thing: In 'The Prince's Tale' we see a memory of Snape talking to Lily: 'I didn't mean - I just don't want to see you made a fool of - he fancies you, James Potter fancies you!' The words seemed wrenched from him against hs will. 'And he's not... Everyone thinks... Big Quidditch hero-' Snape's bitterness and dislike were rendering him incoherent, and Lily's eyebrows were traveling further and further up her forehead.

Snape might be driven by his desperation and his own feelings for Lily, pointing out something that she had already realized herself (because he just needs her to realize). But to me him saying that ('He fancies you, James Potter fancies you') doesn't make much sense if James had been asking her out repeatedly. If he had, him fancying Lily would be common knowledge. I don't think Snape would say it if James was this level of obvious about his feelings. Snape respects Lily, he doesn't think she's stupid.

Also I, personally, don't think Lily would have taken well to his persistent advances. That's just my opinion and my personal read on the matter, though. I know it's all fiction and in the end people can do what they want.

#go for your own headcanons #marauders #marauders canon #marauders era #james potter #lily evans #jily #sirus black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #severus snape

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oh-my-wolfstar · 1 month

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Taylor Swift Wolfstar songs day 17

Do you have your tissues? Go get em because I’m reading All The Young Dudes and I’m currently in the beginning of 1981. For those who haven’t read ATYD, at this time Remus and Sirius’s relationship is sort of falling apart at this time; Sirius and Remus don’t trust each other enough and despite living together they don’t talk anymore , at least not about the important things. You do not need to have read ATYD to understand this but be warned, it will hit much harder if you have. So bearing all this in mind, today's song is You’re Losing Me: Midnights from the vault. POV Remus.

You say, "I don't understand, " and I say, "I know you don't"

We thought a cure would come through in time, now I fear it won't

Remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light

Now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time

Sirius and Remus never talk about anything real except to fight. They don’t understand each other like they used to. Remus used to think they would work it out but now he thinks they won’t. Remus sits in their flat and remembers how excited they were to live together; he wonders where the excitement and love went.

Do I throw out everything we built or keep it?

I'm getting tired even for a phoenix

Always risin' from the ashes

Mendin' all her gashes

You might just have dealt the final blow

Remus is breaking apart, wondering if he should give up or keep fighting for Sirius. He can’t stop thinking of the moment that they knew for sure that there was a spy in the order, and how the first person Sirius looked at was him.

Every mornin', I glared at you with storms in my eyes

How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?

Remus began to fight with Sirius, to lash out because of his own pain. Sirius says he loves Remus but their love is dying.

And the air is thick with loss and indecision I know my pain is such an imposition Now, you're runnin' down the hallway And you know what they all say You don't know what you got until it's gone

Their whole world has become war, life has become loss and fear. Remus feels that Sirius is tired of all his problems and the way he continues to advocate for werewolves despite the growing prejudice. Remus resents him for it and for how Sirius only seems to realize what he has after Remus has been gone on a long mission.

How long could we be a sad song

'Til we were too far gone to bring back to life?

I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy

And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier

Fighting in only your army

Remus doesn't know how long they can continue before they are gone to far. Remus gave Sirius the best of him and after all that he gave for Sirius and all they fought for they are ending and he can’t stop it.

Do something, babe, say something

Lose something, babe, risk something" (you're losin' me)

Choose something, babe, I got nothing

To believe

Unless you're choosin' me

Remus is begging Sirius to want him again. To risk anything, give anything, do anything to choose Remus like he did when they were younger. They are at a standstill, too proud to beg for love and too broken to suffer any longer.

Who’s crying cause I am. 😭

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dufferpuffer · 5 days

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Can I ask what your Sirius Black Sex headcannons would be? I read your Snape and Lupin ones, and they were written SO well!

Oh my god I wrote a whole thing out and I was proud of it and then the draft vanished Sirius Black is hard for me (heh) because he doesn't live in my skull, he just visits from time to time. He's a dear, always brings a gift... Sometimes he does the dishes.

...That's exactly who he is: A dear. Thoughtful, kind, sweet... far more genuinely than Remus, who tries hard to please others. Sirius only does what he wants to do. He isn't a doormat, he isn't proving himself, he isn't trying to impress - he just exists as he is. That's all he has ever had to do. He's always been 'good enough' for the people he cares about - and the people he doesn't care about he ignores. His heart is an open book. He expresses his true emotions brazenly. He faces all issues head-on. You always now what you're getting into with Sirius Black, because he will make it clear. (In comparison: -- Remus Lupin lies. He wears mask after mask to hide how he feels. He avoids dealing with altercations - even if it means letting things he thinks are wrong happen. -- Severus Snape is naturally much like Sirius - but it has been crushed. He has closed his book and holds it close to his chest. He has learned to hide the emotions he doesn't want to display under masks. He still faces issues head-on, but he has learned the value of sometimes waiting and watching to make the best move.) So he is genuine. He is honest. He can be as serious as he is playful. He is wise, too - he has experienced true suffering just as he has experienced true connection. He fights on behalf of other people, even at severe cost to himself - and he doesn't back down. Mix that in with being tall, handsome, a little dark but incredibly sweet - and all the manners of being raised in a Pure-blood household, with none of the pointless formality... People often think he is more flirtatious than he actually is. He isn't flirting when he sits down and listens to your troubles, holds your hand and sympathizes, looks you in the eye and lists the good qualities he sees in you - despite only knowing you a short while. That's just who he is. He is the sort of man people emulate when they are trying to impress others. He suffers for that, as people think he is being fake and manipulative. He is 'too perfect' for his own good lol

He charms people by being himself, they lust after him... and when they realize he 'didn't mean it' they get insecure and blame him. ...Romantic/sexual relationships are such a hassle... It's difficult to actually connect to someone when you're known for being a 'heartbreaker'. It's hard to feel confident in yourself in that way, when people assume you have mountains of experience you don't actually have. He isn't typically an insecure man at all, but... How does he express interest without it seeming fake when his natural honesty feels fake to others? He has always been 'good enough' at everything - and yet at 35 his experience in this one area is still in its adolescent infancy. How do you portray sincerity when you're always sincere? He's semi-sworn off the whole idea. It's not something he seeks out. Sexuality wasn't something he missed much in Azkaban. He missed genuine connection more - he values friendship above all else. A dementor at his door at all times - he didn't have strength to dream of anything as grand as touch... he was too busy dreaming of basic comfort. (The desire for intimacy/romance with someone is perhaps the only thing he would mask and hide. He has more important things to do, after all... no need to complicate things with heartbreak. But he isn't good at masking things. It eats at his soul.) If he were to engage with someone they would already be close, already special, already understand him. I'm not sure if he even CAN feel attraction to someone he isn't already loyal friends with. What does this mean for intimacy with him...?

He agonizes over 'doing it right' when he confesses desire. He isn't usually like that, he has never worried about studying for tests or impressing people - but he NEEDS to get his point across when it comes to this. He doesn't shy away from extravagant displays of love- he thinks they are fun. 100 bouquets on Valentines day? Hilarious to give OR to receive. But a confession? That's not fun. It's serious. He doesn't know any other way to emphasize his earnestness, to PROVE he is sincere, other than to go BIG. He will back out last minute if 'the vibe isn't right'. (It's not lost on him that extreme actions might have the opposite effect, and it's probably best to just take them aside and speak heart-to-heart... but it is hard to trust that will be enough when he is always speaking to people heart-to-heart.)

He is touch-starved. Once he is allowed to touch someone he is clingy. His hands are ALWAYS somewhere - preferably on skin. Holding hands, resting atop your shoulder, on the small of your back, wrapped around your waist, holding your hip with his fingers gently feeling inside your shirt or in the top of your pants... It doesn't matter how many seats are free on the sofa, he is leaning against you, putting his arm around your shoulders or seating you on his lap, or sitting on YOUR lap. He looks like he is being overly protective, and maybe he is a little - but he values touch. Even as a dog. He will lay down and snooze while his tail wags softly against your leg - or flop his head on your thigh and beg for pats...

...That leads to intimacy just being a part of daily life. He doesn't differentiate much between cuddling on the couch and having sex on the couch. To him, sex is less of its own special activity and more of an extension to other activities. That takes the pressure off of him to perform, too. He knows he is inexperienced - and there's no expectations if its just a cuddle that happens to include his dick or ass. He is a switch.

But he DOES perform. He does everything he can to make sure you are satisfied even if it means his own satisfaction is neglected. If he finishes too fast because he struggles to hold on: He will keep going until he is physically unable, then switch to his hands or mouth to try and finish the job. If he struggles to finish because he is too used to his own hand or its just something he struggles with in general, depression and PTSD is a bitch: He doesn't even care. He will stop when his partner has had enough. He is emotionally satisfied by their satisfaction. Blue balls don't bother him anymore, not after everything he has gone through.

...Though he will never turn down being pleased, if its offered. It's just not a priority. But there is something special about having a mouth on his cock. Something about being able to look into someones eyes while they warm him and show him affection. (You'd think a 69 would be perfect, and he does like it - but if he is giving pleasure he wants to be able to focus on it fully. He prefers the focus simple oral allows. Also he is tall, and unless his partner is also tall this can lead to problems.)

He is so good with his hands. He becomes good at everything, because he is dedicated to learning - a good kisser, good at oral, good at fucking - good at being fucked... Every encounter is a chance for him to practice. But his hands... he doesn't just touch, he feels. Holding hands is an intimate experience because he enjoys it so immensely. He savors every texture, every bump and blemish a precious treasure. Just feeling along your body is enough to make his breath shudder. No matter what else he is doing, sexual or not, his hands are feeling and stroking and gripping and enjoying. He is very familiar with them, having spent 12 years staring at them. After only being able to perform magic with his fingers rather than a wand. After only having himself to hold and pretend someone was here to comfort him.

He gets off to enthusiastic consent. He might push the envelope sometimes 'come on, Darling... you can take a bit more for me...' but the moment he feels like his partner is uncomfortable he doesn't get a dominating power kick - he gets concerned. It would take him a long time to warm up to anything that includes discomfort, even intentional discomfort.

He cant stand wishy-washy shyness. Someone being meek, who needs him to do everything, unsure about things... (He couldn't stand Remus. Even if he understands why Remus acts this way - it squicks him out.) ...He doesn't want to feel like he is taking. He wants to give.

The biggest betrayal in his mind is to be lied to. He cannot understand why so many others aren't as open and honest as he is. "Why didn't you tell me you didn't like that? Why did you pretend you did?! 'So I wouldn't feel bad'?? well I feel WORSE now!!!' Putting on a fake smile is the biggest insult he can imagine. He is being honest every single day of his life - and his partner is hiding their thoughts and feelings from him?! He is very patient and accepting. It doesn't matter the kink, fetish, desire, exploration, secret or issue - if his partner is open with him about it he is happy to try. He is happy to talk it out.

He is Poly. It's rare for him to like someone, and he is too loyal to ever cheat - but he is open enough with his feelings that if he DOES happen to like someone else he will say so. Having two or more people to cuddle with? At the same time OR separately? He literally can't think of anything better. That goes the other way, too - if his partner likes someone else he is the first to jump in and suggest they go for it. Champion Wingman. Even if he isn't a part of that second relationship. As long as he is loved and understood - he wants his partner to be happy. ...This doesn't help his image of being a flirtatious playboy. But anyone who thinks that doesn't matter as much to him as his partners, or his partners' partners.

He hates being bored. Being bored brings up memories. Being cold brings up memories. Being alone brings up memories. It can be difficult, locked in a big empty cold lonely house where every wall seems to hate him... He'd rather have sex than be bored. It's better than booze - though drunk sex sounds like an adventure! Since sex is an extension of other activities for him - he inserts it everywhere he can when things get quiet. It's entertaining AND fuels his desire for touch. He loves a good quickie. Leaving a meeting to use the bathroom...? He's right behind you to push you up against a wall, just because it seemed like a fun idea to sneak around.

Is this accurate...? It's how I see him, at least. Sirius Black genius' are welcome to confirm/correct/deny/expand.

#sorry for how long this took i guess #seriously there was a power outage while it was open and it DELETED EVERYTHING #I was so pissed #I'd typed it up on a txt document and had JUST deleted it there after putting it in Tumblr and formatting only for it to DISAPPEAR #sirius black #hp #headcannons

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staratdawn · 9 months

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I thought about au with blind Regulus and deaf Sirius. It is not congenital, most likely acquired after 5 years of Sirius and 4 years of Regulus at Hogwarts. Their mother's unsuccessful punishment spell hit both brothers. Total blindness forever for Regulus, too much damage to do anything about it, even magic is powerless. Sirius rolled down the stairs, hitting his head on all corners, causing serious damage to the head, including the auditory cortex. The predictions of the Black' personal doctor were positive, of course, no one was going to upset them. But the hearing does not return to Sirius in a year or two.

And this difficult for them, almost impossible to make contact, despair splashes, their psycho-emotional state is not just a light wind, it's a fucking storm, like, they never can be ok again. They need more than a one year to talk to each other again. It's been hard before, don't think they don't love each other, we all know true, and yet their family didn't anticipate the possibility of healthy communication among its members. But now it takes a lot more effort to talk. Sirius can't hear, but he can speak. Regulus can speak and hear, but cannot see. So, Sirius speaks. Sometimes Regulus answers and Sirius lip-reads, it gets better and better with the years but never perfect the meaning of some phrases is inevitably lost, but that's something they can at least handle. Sometimes Regulus writes — he remembers good how it's done, but still a little awkward, not nearly as perfect as it used to be, and yet understandable enough. They learn to use it more often. Talk more often. It is important for them not to lose connect. They seem to have lost it all their lives and only learned to fix it when it was too fucking late.This was exactly the moment when Sirius runs away from home and starts living with James. And Regulus needs time, his parents are careful with him, they no longer try to be as cruel as they used to be, mostly just words, and over the years he managed to develop a good immunity, they do not hurt as much as they could. Sirius hates himself for not being able to take Regulus. They still didn't talk back then, it was so difficult for them and Sirius couldn't just ask Regulus to come with him, he didn't believe he could protect him and felt incredibly vulnerable. But he offers in a year and Regulus agrees.

When they get back to Hogwarts, things clearly change. Honestly, even too much. Regulus has a specially trained guide dog, this is a collie named Lyra (actually, in honor of the constellation, but he did not tell anyone about it except Pandora), she is big, soft and fluffy, and she is also smart and really very strong helps him. He also has a cane inlaid with many spells, so he knows Hogwarts quite well, much better than the first years (which is a dubious achievement, but nonetheless).

Sirius is trying to cope with his condition, mostly not really knowing what to do. I'm thinking of a spell he might have found one day to help take notes, literally translate the words spoken by the professor into text (I know there's nothing like that in canon, but it would be fair if there was, and generally, I just don't care about canon, I REALLY don't care, it's there because I made it up right now). He carries around a notepad and pen so that people can write what they want to say to him, but he also often understands what they are saying by watching their lips move. He can also talk, but he can't hear himself, so it's often very loud/very quiet, he prefers to write, but in the company of marauders, he doesn't care if he seems stupid or awkward.

I think Regulus, even after losing his sight, plays the piano, it is important for him to hear and feel the keys under his fingers, it grounds him, calms him down, makes him feel whole. Sometimes it is unbearable, but more often it gets easier than worse. (As he gets older, there are days when his hands shake too much and he can't find the right keys. Then Lily kisses his temple and James puts his hands over Regulus', they play slowly, making Regulus feel more, feel integrity, pushing the keys until he's finally okay)

And sometimes their duet with Sirius is also heartbreaking. Sirius can't hear but can guide his hands, he just feels, he has enough feeling, he doesn't really like to play. He desperately wants to help Regulus. And he sees the keys, he may be his eyes.

So, speaking of marauders. Honestly, James was the first to know. I think Sirius ran away to him somewhere in the middle of summer vacation, so James went to Hogwarts already fluent in sign language and actively continuing his studies. They met Peter during that time, so he definitely found out, even if Sirius didn't want to show it, and sign language was incredibly difficult for Peter, but he tried!! (damn, he tries so hard to be tactful, I just know it, he doesn't want to offend him, he doesn't even speak in his presence, but mostly writes on a notepad to make Sirius comfortable!!!)

Remus only finds out at Hogwarts, not because Sirius doesn't want to tell him, but because Sirius feels bad and doesn't want to appear weak in front of his boyfriend, ok. In this universe, there is no prank, so they are really happy together, but Sirius's disability is very difficult, and he wants to withdraw into himself and never share his burden with anyone. But he still has to do it when they meet on the train, and it's, well, never been easy, ok? Sirius also believes that he is much more fortunate than Regulus and feels guilty because people surround him with care, it seems to him that he does not deserve it.

I also think that Remus KNOWS sign language very well (I headcanon him with a large family, several younger and one older sister, I think one of his sisters is deaf so he had to learn sign language for her, I can talk about his sisters, in case anyone is wondering, I just love the concept of a big family where Remus is the middle child, and he is the only wizard, except for Lyall, if we are not talking about the fact that Pandora could be his sister. He also suffers from lycanthropy, and I think one of his sisters might, but that's another TALK....but, you know, he'll never be alone and his family is, well, a little wolf-family-pack. ..okay, just let me know if anyone is interested, this isn't even about Remus, I should fucking shut up) so that makes things a little easier? Except that Sirius himself needs time to learn sign language, but it's absolutely in his best interest, so he's trying so hard. Remus really tries to take care of him, he shares his notes with him before Sirius finds that spell (he's never done this before and it was never needed, but now Sirius is so grateful) and he's definitely taking the translator's position a bit with people who do not know sign language, he really is not a burden, because Sirius will never be a burden for him. Never.

And also I think that Regulus has a spell that makes the book read itself, which makes life easier, magic is beautiful. And he definitely learns to read braille later, but I don't think it's very common among wizards (he probably isn't at all. but over time his life is so closely intertwined with muggle world, he can't ignore it)

Let's talk about girls! I like to think that Lily was fluent in sign language before that, as if she seems like someone who will know it, or at least try to learn it. Mary and Marlene absolutely don't know but they are really good friends so they try. And Marlene is in love with being able to write constant notes in a notebook (gives atmosphere. She puts Sirius notes between textbooks, very, very many notes in a day, they become less over time, but she was never going to throw constant gossip with her bestfriend, thanks, even deafness will not interfere with her). Mary also uses her notebook to write for Sirius when she wants to say something.

I also think that Lily absolutely cares about Regulus (platonically or romantically, your choice), but she doesn't know what she can do for him, she just goes with him all the time, almost seems to blend in with the Slytherins. She reads books to him aloud because he likes how soothing her voice sounds, he actually has an amazing memory, he quotes something from what he has read before or from what he heard from Lily.

Evan and Barty don't know how to act at first. But over time it gets easier. Like there's no problem putting things back where they belong so that Regulus can move around the room with ease, at which point they're very clean. They try to spend a lot of time with him, sometimes it's even annoying, he can say it, but honestly he is grateful.

(also Lyra is absolutely delighted with Barty and Pandora, when Regulus is in bed and she doesn't help him anymore, she often goes to Barty's to get her helping strokes)

Dorcas is so excited when she finds out about this, she is actually so mad at his family. One of her best friends will never fucking see anything else because of his family (Regulus never told them the reason but they know. They all know). She is very afraid of how unsafe he can be in his house, but she obviously does not show it, it would be inappropriate and not quite in her character. She tries to be tactful and act like nothing has changed. And she's also very supportive, actually, she's just not clingy like Barty and Evan, for example, she's just expressing help in the little things, I would say. Her help is usually silent, but also surprisingly eloquent.

I didn't say much about Pandora, I'm sorry. They have an amazingly cute duo and an interesting way of getting around, when Regulus assumes his animagus form, he is also blind, but he is literally cat, so she often carries him around in her arms to his destination. It's faster. Oh, and she was the one who helped him find the spell to read!!

Also, I think Sirius's hearing will start to recover at some point, but it will never be good enough, it's just... some sounds, more sounds than total silence. I didn't mention hearing aids before and I don't think they're common among wizards, but he'll definitely use them when they get out in muggle London and, well, it won't give him perfect hearing, but it's a lot better than nothing...

(little bonus: when Sirius wants to be kissed, but he doesn't want to write about it in a notebook or make gestures because it will upset the mood, he puts his finger on his lips or on his forehead or on his cheek, my boy just wants kisses. And he spreads his arms out to the side when he's waiting for a hug and doesn't want to initiate it first. when alone with Remus, sometimes he just reaches out his palms. Oh, and he claps his hands when he tries to get someone's attention. It's easier for him not to talk than to talk so he keeps the conversations to a minimum)

art: likeafunerall

#jegulus #marauders #regulily #jegulily #lily evans #james potter #regulus and pandora #regulus black #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #blind regulus #deaf sirius #pandora lupin #mary macdonald #marlene mckinnon #regulus and dorcas #dorcas meadowes #sirius and marlene

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elvendorx · 5 months

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VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION: in YOUR opinion who do you think tops and bottoms in prongsfoot?

hello anon! thanks for coming to me with a big question but with gentleness and absolutely no disrespect, i don't really care and it's not important to me.

i don't see james or sirius as a top or a bottom, i don't see them switching but having a "default" top bottom role. i think they both do both and i like reading both, as long as i recognise the characters and can feel their connection in the fanwork.

sexual expression and identity and having the freedom to embody them can be incredibly important to a person but no one characteristic or life experience aligns with a stock set of sexual preferences so it makes no sense for me to try and fit fictional characters into roles that were never written for them. i also just don't find it that interesting because topping/bottoming doesn't specifically reveal anything about a character or their relationships.

that doesn't mean that i mind or think that it's bad if an author writes james or sirius as having a preference either way, i more object to when people write them as only concievably being able to do one or the other, ever, because of x y z personality trait. sirius' family doesn't make him either a top or a bottom. james liking quidditch doesn't mean he prefers penetrating/penetration. you know?? linking character and sexual performance/expression works into the old chestnut of queer people being defined by their sexuality and sex lives whereas straight people are seen as the safe neutral (not saying this is what you're doing but i've just seen the discourse get way out of hand).

like also, the whole james/sirius thing is that they're equals, wholes of a half, perfectly matched, on the same wavelength, trust each other implicitly, there's no reason that they need to adopt particular roles.

so i appreciate you asking my opinion anon and i'm not trying to judge or preach or be rude here but i don't care. top/bottom discourse is incredibly boring to me when there are so many other things to talk about and i think that more than a rudimentary focus on it veers into fetishisation which affects real queer people in the long run.

#ask #james potter #sirius black #inseparable

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my-moony-and-padfoot · 4 months

Text

You got this

TW: nothing really?

Word count: 2 000

He stared at the massive pile of books and notes in front of him, closing his eyes, trying to will away the headache that had been building up for a few days already. It had turned into that stabbing kind of pain even he couldn't ignore, but he tried anyway and continued revising for his arithmancy exam.

He was tired, and he'd much rather go up to bed, but he had to get this done. He needed to. He glanced out of the window seeing the moon that was giving light into the semi dark common room, the fire had died out too. It was the full moon soon, tomorrow night actually, and he was exhausted and terrified and would rather crawl into bed; not sit in this uncomfortable chair with still so many notes to go through.

He grabbed his wand, closing the drapes to block away the sight because it was starting to make him feel sick, he didn't need that constant reminder right now. Then he lit another candle so he could actually see what he was reading on.

If it were any other exam during a full moon, he'd just let it go, not study and let himself rest. He'd let a bad grade slip because he could always retake, there'd always be an opportunity to get it higher, but not this time. It was the O.W.L’s, something he desperately needed to pass with good grades; he wasn't going to let this make him fail or get a bad grade. No matter how bad or unwell or tired he might feel, he had to get this done, had to learn these things. Had to get a good grade.

Even if he'd go to bed, he didn't think he could sleep. He felt restless with nervous energy from the exam and the upcoming full moon. If he stopped now, the thoughts would get worse, and he'd panic even more than he already was, and he didn't want that, so he kept reading his notes over and over again.

He jumped when he felt a touch on his shoulder, how hadn't heard anyone come down the stairs, they always creaked in that one spot. Remus turned to look at whoever it was, blinking a few times before his eyes focused on Sirius, who just smiled softly at him, leaning over the back of the chair. “Why aren't you sleeping, love?” He asked quietly, his voice thick with sleep like he had just woken up, which he probably had.

“M’not tired.” He lied, giving a small smile, though he knew Sirius could see right through it, he always did. He shifted so he could look at Sirius better. “I have to study.”

“You have to sleep.” He answered, glancing at all the notes scattered over the table, and at the pile of books, all open on top of each other, one quill that was laying on the table, the sharp end of it missing, there was another one too, but that one wasn't broken at least yet. “Everybody else is, they stopped studying hours ago.”

“This is important, Sirius.”

“So is sleep, moons.” He whispered. “It helps you think, you say it yourself. I know it's stressful, but not sleeping is gonna make it worse, especially now.” Remus just nodded, leaning back in the chair, his head against Sirius’ arm as he closed his eyes for a moment. “Does your head hurt?” He asked gently, staring to card his hand through Remus' hair.

“Mhm.”

“Poor, baby.” He whispered, leaning down to kiss his head. “Come to bed with me?” He suggested. “Don't have to sleep if you're not tired, but come lay down for a bit, it's late.”

“No, no.” He said, sitting back up, opening his eyes. “I have to- I don't, I'm not gonna pass, I need to.”

“It's okay if you don't pass.” Remus shook his head, eyes getting wide as tears started to gather in them. “It is. Your whole future doesn't rely on this one- what's this, arithmancy? Okay, yeah, it doesn't rely on this one arithmancy exam. You've got so many other things you've gotten good grades in, this is not gonna ruin that.”

“You don't understand.”

“Help me understand then, I wanna know what you're thinking.” Remus shook his head again, not looking at Sirius anymore. He moved, this time so he could stand in front of him, continuing to play with his hair. “I do want to know. I wanna know how you're feeling and what you're thinking, I wanna help rem.”

“I'm so tired.” Remus whispered quietly, leaning against Sirius, hiding his face into Sirius' stomach.

“Okay.”

“It's um- I don't wanna fail.” He whispered. “But I'm so tired.”

“You've sat here since dinner, love. You've studied for hours already. It's ‘bout to make you tired.” Remus only nodded. “You've aced all your previous tests, you've gotten full marks from all your assignments, the teacher thinks you're great, I think you got this.”

“But it's the owls.”

“Mm, I know. I know, moony.” Remus looked up at him, his eyes red rimmed, and Sirius just smiled, wiping away the tears that were trailing down. “You've got this, re.” He whispered. “You really do. It'll only do good if we go to bed now. You don't have your exam until after lunch, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Means that you can sleep, rest for a bit, and you can study a little more before the exam.” He said, and Remus nodded. “Then it's lunch, and you have your exam, then you can rest again for- for the night.”

“No, I can't.” Sirius' eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “I have an exam after that too.”

“Poppy's not gonna let you do that.” He said. “You know she's not going to let you do an exam after the full moon.”

“I have to Sirius- I really. I can't.” he stumbled over his words in the sudden panic, he hadn't even thought about that. “Its charms I have to. They don't understand.”

“Minnie’s not gonna let you either.” Sirius said, gently pushing his hair back, keeping it out of his eyes. “I know it's important to you, but it's not going to do any good. You have to rest.”

“They have to, they can't just tell me not to- they can't right? It's- it's not that big of a deal, it's really not.” he said. “They can't.” there were tears in his eyes again, and Sirius would do anything to make them go away, to make him feel better.

“They can.” Sirius whispered, wiping away the tears once more. “I'm sorry, rem, but it's really not good for you. You're in so much pain, and you usually sleep the days after, it's just not good to go do an exam immediately after. It's too much extra stress.”

“If you really want, we can go ask Minnie in the morning, but I'm pretty sure she'll say the same thing I just did, and Poppy will too.” Remus shook his head. “You don't always have to be so strong. It's okay to take time to heal.”

“Sirius.” He whimpered, breaking Sirius' heart, as he leaned back against Sirius, more tears falling.

“Shh, I know, I know it's unfair.” He whispered, trying to comfort him the best he could. “We can go ask her if they can make some arrangements. That of you could maybe do it later, yeah? When you're feeling better.”

“Okay.”

“Yeah?” Remus nodded. “Can we go to bed, love?” Remus nodded again, leaning back, looking at him. “Okay.” He smiled, leaning down to kiss his forehead, watching as Remus gathered his stuff back into his bag, getting up from the chair. Sirius blew out the candles before taking his hand and leading him up to their dorm.

“I love you.” Remus whispered, his face hidden in Sirius' chest. It felt so good to finally lay down, to close his eyes, relax. Though, he still felt bad for it. But sleeping started to sound better than staying up all night, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

“I love you too, moons.” he smiled, kissing his head, letting his lips linger there for a moment. “So much. I'll wake you up in the morning, yeah?” Remus nodded, letting sleep pull him under, focusing on Sirius' calm breathing and the hand that was still tangled in his hair. It felt nice and relaxing.

– – –

He felt a lot worse the next morning when Sirius woke him up around eight, all his joints ached and his headache, if possible, was even worse than last night. After breakfast that he didn't eat because of the growing nausea, they made their way to McGonagall's office, Sirius waiting in the hall as the witch told him to come inside.

McGonagall said exactly what Sirius had told him last night that Poppy had actually asked to talk to him about it. She had apparently sent a letter to the ministry to ask whether he, and a few other students, could for some reason, could do the exam on a different day. She hadn't gotten a response yet, but she'd inform him as soon as she got it.

Remus just nodded before leaving her office, smiling slightly at Sirius as he stood up, taking his hand into his as they started to walk back into their common room. “So?” He asked after a while, glancing up at Remus.

“Mm, she said no.” Sirius nodded. “That Poppy had wanted her to talk to me and that she had already sent a letter to the ministry if I can do it later.” Sirius nodded again, squeezing his hand reassuringly, knowing how much it upset him even though he probably realized that it wasn't the best idea. “Do you have an exam?”

“Me and James got divination, something dumb about, she didn't exactly tell what we have to do. Probably look into a crystal ball or read tea leaves.” He said. “So stupid, but it's such an easy grade to get, so why not. Pete has nothing and it's not fair.”

Remus nodded, smiling slightly, going up to their dorm when they got up to the Gryffindor tower. He pulled out his arithmancy book once more, though it was impossible to focus on reading with the headache and dry, tired eyes. Sirius had stayed in the common room because James had questions about divination, though he wasn't sure if he could help, and had just laughed when James asked for help.

He was so tired, and achy that he'd rather just crawl into bed and not get up until the evening, but at the same time he wanted to study. Had to study. But after an hour of reading, he couldn't help but lay his head down on his folded arms for a moment, promising himself that it was just a five-minute break.

“Rem, wake up.” He heard someone whisper, slowly pulling him out of sleep, though he just hid his face further into his arms. “C'mon, we gotta go eat.”

He jolted up, at least two, maybe three hours must've passed. “What?” he breathed out, looking at Sirius with a confused expression before glancing at his watch. “Shit.”

“You up for lunch?” Sirius asked worriedly, seeing how pale he looked, like he was going to pass out if he stood up. Remus shook his head. “Re, look at me-” Remus did, eyes unfocused as he looked at Sirius. “When was the last time you ate?”

“Yesterday, I think.”

“At what time.” Remus shrugged. “Let’s go eat, okay? I don't want you to pass out in your exam, or after?”

“Have to?” Sirius nodded. “Okay.”

Sirius smiled, kissing his forehead, and taking Remus' hand into his as they started to walk down to the great hall. Remus didn't eat a lot, but it made him feel a little better, though he still felt horrible and would rather be in bed. They left the great hall about fifteen minutes before the exams would start, Sirius stopped them at the top of the marble staircase, making Remus look at him.

“I love you, rem.” He smiled, leaning up on his tiptoes to give him a kiss. “Good luck.” He whispered against his lips. “You got this.”

“I love you too.”

A/N:

what do we think?

This is definitely not written because my exams are approaching and I'm stressed out of my mind, what are you talking about?

I will also blame any bad grades on these hypothetical exams on this work of procrastination and boredom. Cough cough.

Also, I've been thinking about making a micro fic series into AO3, because I have a few fics that are like 500 words and I don't really want to publish them on their own, so is it a good idea? Or not

Anyway, I hope you liked it :)

#sirius black #sirius orion black #remus lupin #remus john lupin #remus x sirius #sirius x remus #wolfstar #wolfstar fic #fluff #wolfstar fluff #fluff and angst #marauders #marauders era #hogwarts

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in-flvx · 1 month

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i dislike the incorrect quote too but i disagree with your tags on that post - i hope that's OK. i don't think remus actually wanted or expected sirius to help him study. yes, he knew him well after 5 years of friendship, he knew sirius was exceptionally bright but he also had to know that sirius wouldn't jump at the opportunity to revise Tranfiguration questions with him. he said what he said because he had let his frustration show for a second ('You might,' said Lupin darkly) and he needed to quickly cover his arse and defuse the tension. he wanted to take a jab at sirius but also avoid having a fight or actually talking about the matter (that's such a classic remus move imo). he knew exactly how sirius would react. and that's why he didn't ask his other friends for help - because he didn't actually want help. remus was trying to entertain and distract a bored sirius in his own way - by offering something to bitch and moan about (remus's swottiness) but james had a better idea (as always lol)

Hi ❤️

I got halfway through my response before I had to look something up and tumblr then deleted all of it 🙄

But yea it's always alright to disagree with me. I don't think we will see eye to eye on this one though.

My read of the 'you might' will probably forever be coloured by the translation I first read, in which Remus basically agrees with Sirius that it would be great if it was a full moon rn. Either way, I never read it as the negative jab (though you're right that would be very Remus), or the tension filled reference to 'the prank' which most people see in it. I'm not saying they're wrong either, I just don't read it that way.

But to the more important part... Sirius bitching and moaning about remus' swottiness is entirely fanon, and even the language you use is fanon. Sirius, in the text, never bitches or moans about anything, least of all the acquisition of knowledge. He speaks fondly about remus having been the 'good boy' who became prefect, and he never, not once, laughs about people's curiosity or smth. Not even snape, who he insults in every way possible, does he insult for learning. He critizises his posture as he writes, his hair, his clothes, but not the fact that he writes so much or reads between classes. Snapes intelligence is like the one thing Sirius respects about him.

So why would he make fun of something his friend does when he doesn't even do with his enemy.

It's also not something Remus would invite. Being ridiculed I mean. He is very concerned with the way people perceive him, and while he rarely (not never but rarely) appears as aggressive or imposing, he also uses the rules of conversation in his favor. He might not be such a master at it at 15 as he is at 34, but I don't think he'd willingly let someone make fun of him.

Which is also not what happens afterwards btw. Sirius doesn't make fun of Remus for asking for help, or for studying. He just tells him that helping Remus revise won't help Sirius with his boredom and then he moves on.

Further on, we don't know if sirius liked to help his friends revise or not. He certainly doesn't have a problem helping Harry, but that's his godson, and we know that sirius (and James) helped Peter every step of the way to become an animagus. Sirius even sends Harry extra books in ootp to help with the da. Sirius respects knowledge, and intellect. He helps other people furthering their own horizon. He wouldn't bitch or moan about remus trying to learn smth. It's only boring to sirius, who is already bored, and knows everything for the upcoming exam.

Now, idk if Remus actually wanted help, or just entertain Sirius, though I usually also go with the entertainment read of the situation, and just offered a new view with my tags on that post. But Sirius bitching and moaning about remus' swottiness is as much fanon as Sirius' inability to go a day without commenting on Remus' grandpa sweaters and how cool he is despite them, or Sirius' disbelieve that remus can both read and smoke weed.

I hope this makes sense.

#Anon post

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ramblings-of-a-mad-cat · 18 days

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I feel like it isn't talked about nearly enough that Harry freed Kreacher.

And I'm realizing that's because no one else, literally no one I've talked to in this fandom in the last seventeen years, interpreted the scene that way. But when I first read DH, I picked up on it immediately.

Because Harry unequivocally does free Kreacher when he gives him Regulus' locket, and I think that's so important. I get why you might disagree, because they never actually state in the dialogue that Kreacher is free. It's all subtext. You might also say that jewelry is different from clothing, but I don't think we have enough examples to rule it out. (Lucius was tricked into freeing Dobby with a sock that wasn't even his. Far as I'm concerned, if you can wear it, then it counts.)

Harry freed Dobby without hesitation, and why wouldn't he? The sweet little guy was miserable, trapped in servitude to the evil Malfoys. But Kreacher? He was the racist little bastard that betrayed Sirius, Sirius, to the Death Eaters, and had a hand in his death. Of course Harry hated him. Even in OOTP, the point is made that Kreacher cannot be freed, even if Sirius would love to be rid of him, because he simply knows too much information, and they need to keep him bound in service so that he can't pass it on.

In this, we see that Harry's status as an ally to the House Elves is conditional. He wasn't even raised in the magical world like Ron, there's no reason for him to see Elf Slavery as okay, but he just accepts it as part of the magical world because the elves are "happy" and writes off Hermione's campaign as one of her many obsessions. Ron didn't take it seriously, so neither did Harry. He was happy to free Dobby, but to him Dobby was a special case.

Then comes the tale of Regulus. Harry is told all about a Death Eater who had a change of heart for no other reason than because he loved Kreacher, and Voldemort tortured Kreacher, leaving him for dead. Harry cannot fathom it - after all, this is Kreacher. The monster who betrayed Sirius. But Sirius mistreated Kreacher at every turn, something that Harry laughed off because Kreacher was so unpleasant - but it doesn't change the fact that Sirius was literally Kreacher's master, and he regularly abused him. It's not like it's Kreacher's fault that Sirius was abused himself, or that Sirius had to return to Grimmauld Place.

Seeing Kreacher utterly break down was uncomfortable for Harry, because it forced him to confront an uncomfortable truth that conflicted with the worldview he'd set up for himself about the Elves - and about Sirius. Even twenty years later, Kreacher is still attempting to self-harm after failing to follow Regulus' orders, and it's safe to assume Regulus didn't tell him to do that.

At this point, Hermione breaks down too, and she asks them - Harry and Ron - to see what she sees. "Oh don't you see how sick it is, how they've got to obey?" And for the first time, Harry sees it. On a grand scale, he sees it. It's raw, it's awkward, it's painful to confront. But Harry comes to realize that Hermione is right. (As in most things.) Slavery is not okay, no matter the context. The House Elves should be free. Not just the nice ones like Dobby, but even the nasty ones like Kreacher. Because he sees Kreacher trying to "punish himself" just as Dobby has done many times...and I think it hits Harry that no one deserves that.

So he takes a chance. Because freeing Kreacher is still a risk. It gives him back his autonomy. He knows all kinds of information. He knows that Regulus stole the Locket, and that Harry is hunting for it too. If Kreacher were to turn around and backstab the Golden Trio, if Voldemort learned what he knew, everything would be lost. And Kreacher could do that. But Harry chooses to believe that he won't. And he recognizes that even that risk is no excuse to keep a slave.

Cause here's the thing. Even if jewelry "doesn't count" (highly debatable imo) that doesn't mean Harry would know that. So far as he knows, he's giving Kreacher something to wear, and he has personal experience with what that means to Elves. The entire scene reads like Kreacher is being freed. Call it a headcanon if you must but I have believed this for years.

Yes, Kreacher stayed in Grimmauld Place. Of course he did. He loves it there, that's his home. Where is he going to go? And yes, he continues to serve Harry after this and even calls him "Master." Because that's what he knows. I'm not saying Harry broke the conditioning. That kind of thing would take years. If she'd been allowed to, Winky would have carried on serving The Crouches after her dismissal. But the important thing is, Harry gave Kreacher the locket. Whatever enchantment it was that bound Kreacher in service to Harry would have broken when Harry gave him the locket.

I know everyone loves to mock the moment at the end when Harry's first thought after defeating Voldemort is whether or not his slave will bring him a sandwich, but, guys. It's a throwaway line about a sandwich. Harry isn't going to order Kreacher to do it. At most he's going to ask. Kreacher is old, and pretty set in his ways. Deprogramming might not even be possible for him at this point. But everything we see of their relationship following Regulus' tale shows Harry respecting Kreacher as a friend, not a slave. He gave Kreacher his autonomy back by freeing him, and, when Kreacher made the choice to stay, Harry treated him with kindness.

This is actually blowing my mind because for so many years I just took this as a given but I realized I'd never seen anyone else talking about it and it turns out I'm in the minority for interpreting it this way? It just seemed so straightforward to me...

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humbletumblecrudi · 1 year

Text

[𝐀𝐫𝐓𝐰] 𝐒𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 × 𝐌𝐚𝐥𝐞!𝐏𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐫!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 who needs a model

Info on Reader: Reader is intended Masculine and uses he/him/they/them pronouns. Reader is not described to be Summoner, but he can be if you want. Reader is good at photography and is apart of a photography club: only equipment is mentioned, but no other students are. Reader has dialogue in this, so take note of that. Reader is more kind here, less teasing.

Warning(s): Canon Typical Violence & Weapons Used | Fujoshi's DNI | Fem Aligned Individuals may read as long as they have a Masc MC and stay respectful | Silent Reader/Blank Blogs Will Be Blocked

Timeline: No specific time but it's definitely post Chapter 4. Anything else is ambiguous for your sake!

If you couldn't hear his footsteps behind you, you certainly could feel the arm he'd slink across your shoulder as he looks out at what your doing. Before you was just nature一the natural scenery of just outside the boundaries of the Queen Tet Dorm, to be specific一and you can hear his wonder as he speaks to you.

"Oh, interested in the scenery of our humble abode? I would be flattered..." His eyes flicker from green to yellow, but his smirk barely changes, "But I know that your here on a mission. Don't worry, I won't touch the schools precious equipment."

The eye roll you can hear in his voice did not reassure you that he might leave it alone, but all you can do is just have a little faith. Sirius has an eye for good thinks and genuinely cares for objects of value, and surely he won't rip this expensive camera from your neck. So, you get back to setting up the camera for a wide lens shot, when he tries roping you in conversation...

"So, cameraman, how are your RAW's coming out? Landscape, hopefully." The pun is obvious and he let's out a chuckle at his own joke, and you almost want to sigh.

"The landscape is nice, and I do hope they come out nice," You answer Sirius, finally finding the best lens for the snow, high trees, and distant sunset sky. "Because this will be in the newspaper for the school, and I have a chance to go with composers to the East if I get noticed."

"Ambitious!" It sounds like praise, but then he looks out at the frozen ground of the winter horizon. "But it's the dead of winter everywhere, and this dorm doesn't get this much snow often. You won't find a soul outside of their rooms or class."

From the clothes he was wearing, you'd think he just came from a day on the town. His school uniform was ditched for a long sleeved turtleneck in black, with a thick scarf in grey and red. The pants he wore were a generic straight brand of dark slacks, and his footwear were loafers with white socks peaking out. He was the definition of casual, especially with his hair tied back like he hadn't cared about it at all. A very dressy "dressed down" look for Sirius, and you can see his true personality coming through. Serious, yet lax.

"Hm? But your outside, and you look like you just came back?" You question him, and you hear his hum of dismissal before you add: "Did Spica一?"

"一need anything? Yeah, but nothing of any importance. Paperwork, paperwork, and maybe some coffee." He cuts you off with a flick of his eyes turning blue, his shoulders slumping. "I'd much rather be here, with you." He flirts, stressing the much in his sentence.

"Really?" You snap a set of pictures.

"Really." His smirk widens just a bit.

You check the photos and it just... doesn't feel right. The shine of the afternoon sun on the snow makes it a beautiful pink and orange, and the trees are a dark brown that weave through the last sunlight hours like claws. It looks... fine. But fine doesn't move careers unless your just filling out your RAW portfolio. You need something else...

Something like...

You look up at the casualness of Sirius, and you see his lazy lean on his left leg. His hands are in his pockets, and you can see his fogging slow breaths in the slowly growing frigid wind. The sunset was barely warming the air anymore, and you can see the signs of him only starting to get cold.

He laughs. "Finally you look at me, cameraman..."

"Sirius..." You want to ask, but you know he's the teasing type and you have no idea if he'd enjoy this. Yes, he likes attention, but he's never the type to... outright agree to anything.

"Yesssss?" He practically sings it.

"Would you be my model for my winter portfolio?" You ask him, before you quickly add, "Please?"

"Please? My, nobodies ever been so nice before." Sirius answers, and starts walking forward. "Well, I can't exactly say no to you, can I? Your just too nice to turn down."

You gawk at him as he steps forward into the field before you both, and he turns back to face you properly. He has nowhere to sit and nothing to pose with, so he's casual as he waves his hand at you.

His eyes shine with something mysterious, yet they flash pink. "Well? I have nothing to do, so I'll help out my dear sweetheart. Get over here and lead me through the steps for what poses you want, I'm just the pretty face!"

You both knew that last statement was wrong on many, many levels but you both don't comment on it further. From here, you help him pose and get the shots you want. But in turn, he drills you with flirtatious remarks and maybe even throw a bit of snow at you, no matter how watery it is.

Reblogs > Likes, please reblog something during your stay. Requests are open!

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rollercoasterwords · 30 days

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genuinely thank you so much for writing thtf. it's my favourite thing to read in the whole world for so many reasons. like other than where it's obviously devastating (in SUCH a good way), idk it just makes me so happy

I think it's the first wip i followed from start to finish and I have to say that part of 2022 was not the greatest but yk, every few days there'd be a new chapter. and it was great.

I fucking love Dorcas talking about "a butterfly in the palm of your hand" it's changed the way I think so much. like you would not expect this from a fanfic lmao but it's pretty much exactly what I needed to hear at the time. living just to live, even if it's complete shit, not caring about what they're leaving behind. ch 42 (i think) where all they're doing is just washing the dishes but it's so special and they're listening to dawn storm is so important to me I love it SO much. fucking amazing.

ngl I don't really think there's anything I don't like. every character feels so right - regulus in particular sticks out to me, like there's such a good balance between him doing pretty bad things because he's not a particularly "good person" but also not being a complete dick. also I would die for marlene mckinnon and the way you write her is just so fucking good. the way she is just so alive to make up for her shorter life is so beautiful to me. I could ramble on for a very long time about everything in this fic but I dont want this to get too long lol

the music you put on the chapters is also really good like I'm pretty sure the first time I read it I didn't listen the music and then I reread it with the music and it was like a whole different experience

yeah i would've sent this earlier (like maybe a year ago) but looks like I put it off for a really long time lol

also - really love where atwmd is going rn I'm so excited for more chapters, i love Sirius Black etc etc

ahh thank u this is so sweet! i love hearing that thtf resonated w people it definitely feels like the fic kinda took on its own life & became a little philosophical journey that i was not entirely expecting lol. i think writing a story where i knew my main characters were going 2 die the whole time really made me contemplate like. ok what do i actually want 2 say abt death, and by way of that what do i wanna say abt life? bc like. as someone who doesn't believe in an afterlife i didn't wanna write a story that says "well it's ok bc they can be happy in the afterlife" <3 bc like. that does not comfort me lol. & i also didn't wanna write a story that was like "it's ok bc there's gonna be a good future 4 others after them," bc i think life means something and matters even outside of futurity. i didn't wanna play into this narrative that u have 2 Do Something 2 make ur life meaningful by making sure u have an impact on the future, etc; i wanted 2 write abt life as meaningful outside of that. & i also specifically wanted 2 write abt life as something beautiful & meaningful even with the bad stuff mixed in, and even if death is abrupt and scary and painful and unwanted. like i purposely made both their deaths pretty brutal bc i personally find the idea of a "bad death" really scary! the idea of dying before ur ready, dying scared or alone or in pain or all three, etc...and i think part of why that's so scary is bc we place this big emphasis, again, on a linear timeline of life, where death is The End, and if The End is bad, then the story's a sad one. but death is just one moment in the sum total of billions of moments throughout your life; why should that bad cancel out all the good? why should a story be sad, just because the last page of it is sad? you can open the book to any page and find happiness, and love, and warmth, etc. & that's what i'm trying 2 say w "a story is not its end."

anyway. this got much longer than expected lol i love 2 ramble abt thtf but! again ty 4 the kind words glad u enjoyed the fic glad u enjoyed the music as well!! i love the playlist 4 that fic <3

#ask #thtf #wfrau #<- glad ur enjoying this one as well! <3

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soloorganaas · 2 years

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what are your thoughts about sirius black and gender and class and trauma and toxic relationships and british homophobia and mental illness and kill the gays tropes and the suffocation of hope and found family

ALRIGHT DANI LETS GO

exec summary: JKR’s class anxiety is a big part of her bigotry and her punishment of characters who run away from her. it shapes a specific set of rules, which Sirius breaks in more ways than most other characters, and it draws out a hatred from JKR that leads her to punish him through her writing in painfully particular ways. that includes inflicting brutal tragedy on the heavily implied/coded queer relationship he has with remus, in a kill your gays trope that is peak 90s/00s. and so Sirius’s storyline overall becomes a morality lesson for queer/enby/neurodivergent kids that teaches them whatever love or found family they have will inevitably be destroyed - and they deserve it

~ spicy meta essay below the cut ~

JKR and class anxiety

class divides people in the UK to such an extreme extent its bizarre for people outside to conceptualise. like most of Europe we had centuries of strict class hierarchies, but ours never got entirely broken down because we never got rid of the royal family and aristocracy. class is such a strong form of division that we truly 'other' people from another class to us and generally avoid the excruciating ordeal of mixing with someone from a class different to us. this isn’t always the case - i know people reading this will feel differently - but it is predominant in the middle class

middle class in the UK is entirely different to the US. it's not at all about income, it's about identity markers that signal you are better, more well to-do, more refined than people of a lower class than you. the majority of the UK are working class, so the middle class work hard at the idea they're better than everybody. except, obviously, the upper class, who they will never be as good as under these rules, so instead they aggressively enforce them to try and cling onto power over those below them. think white Republican women

the middle class enforce this generally through keeping everyone and everything in a nice and tidy box. a good education, a respectable job, a large (but not extravagant! that would be chavvy) house, nice (but not flashy! also chavvy) cars, modest and neat clothes that don't draw too much attention, excruciating and often fake politeness. the most important thing in being middle class is not drawing attention to yourself. if you're loud, if your appearance is out of the norm, if you're queer or trans, if you're disabled, if you're neurodivergent, then god help you. you will be abused and shunned (i'm not joking, this happened to me by my school). this interacts with race in a very complicated way which i am absolutely not qualified to speak on, and isn’t relevant to Sirius, so I won’t be attempting to talk about it - but I don’t want to erase the fact that it exists.

JKR grew up working class but gained so much wealth and notoriety in an educated profession that she shifted to middle class, which is unusual to the point of being forbidden. so when she wrote the later books especially, her need to firmly, clearly follow middle class rules in order to gain acceptance bleeds through her writing

JKR hates Sirius

Sirius breaks every single one of nice middle class rules. every single one. and offensively so. and she hates him for it. I don't think it's a coincidence she only made him a shunned aristocrat until she became famous and classism rose to the forefront - she wanted that power for herself, and she'd never have it, so she punished him for it

Sirius is loud. he's brash. he's talkative. he's argumentative. he's mentally ill. he's neurodivergent. he's gay. he doesn't give a fuck about gender roles. he's extreme, coded a thousand times over as manic depressive. he's unapologetic about all of it. and she can't stand it. no one is allowed to be like that - and especially not the madman side character she created just to provide some spicy background for Harry

so JKR does what every bigoted classist Brit does in this situation and silently, viciously, hatefully and passive aggressively punishes Sirius. she has every character shame him for all his rule-breaking traits by patronising him, looking down on him, criticising him, humiliating him, belittling him, all because he is apparently incapable of being trusted by normal society. Molly is literally JKR's mouthpiece for this, passively aggressively keeping Sirius in line, and getting away with it because she's so sweet and loveable no one ever sees her as a bigot. I have met one hundred thousand women like in her my lifetime. so has JKR. she knew exactly what she was doing

why would these characters turn on him like this, though? Sirius is highly competent, incredibly intelligence and very astute, as shown over the previous books, and both the characters and readers know that. so it has to be something else, something that overrides all of that

it's because of who he is, and that's what we absorb between the lines of the book. that who Sirius is is wrong, and people like him will inevitably be shunned by society around them

12GP, mental illness and Sirius's death

Sirius is (quite literally) characterised as mad, and it's used as a justification for punishing him. by OotP his rebelliousness is explained as a sign of instability. and by god - that instability is toxic. so he's locked in a madhouse for his own good (to keep him alive! to protect Harry!). he's then tortured as painfully as possible to drive him even madder, leading him to the inevitable conclusion of bringing about his own death through his irresponsibility. he has to die, because he has to face the consequences for rebelling

the way that JKR weaves his rule-breaking and depiction of "madness" together is intentional, and truly vile. it's evident in the sharp contrast of his characterisation in PoA/GoF and OotP. he's coded as mentally ill and neurodivergent from the first time we hear of him. he's portrayed as a man of manic depressive extremes (I wrote a bipolar meta here talking about this in more detail), and is clearly suffering from PTSD. we can assume this continues in GoF

alongside all of this, he is so smart, competent and compassionate he manages to keep himself alive and hidden from the ministry whilst living outdoors, basically figures out the entire GoF plot through newspapers and a few rushed conversations through the fire, and is single-mindedly dedicated to his godson

in OotP he is a fundamentally different person - not in a way that is caused by mental illness, but genuine changes in his core character, however it’s still characterised as mental illness. so it becomes justifiable to punish him, to restrict him, to criticise and curtail and humiliate him

and most of all the traits JKR hates about Sirius so much are part and parcel of being bipolar (and also having ADHD, which he's implied to have as well). bipolar people are capable of extraordinary feats when we're manic, which aren't always bad - like, for example, breaking out of a wizarding prison! being on the run for two years just for take care of your godson! we feel everything incredibly deeply - like, for example, devotion to the point of death for your friends, strong emotional reactions to them being mistreated! we have tendencies towards being incredibly creative, smart, and making intellectual leaps that are impossible for other people, all of which are traits Sirius has that make him such an extraordinary wizard, and person. he literally wouldn't be who he is without neurodivergence, and yet JKR portrays it as an entirely negative characterisation, a punishable offence

kill the gays - queer and mentally ill people will never be happy, and they don't deserve to be

Sirius and Remus's story is about two traumatised, scared, lonely kids doomed to be outcasts forever, until they find acceptance and love in found family, and each other. that is the story of every fucking queer kid growing up before like 2015, and everyone now who doesn't live in a liberal town. we look at that story and we know it, we feel it in our bones. i could will write an essay about this in itself but for now:

the way that that story should play out is Sirius and Remus getting to grow up and begin adulthood in a stable environment where they can slowly unlearn their trauma, toxic coping mechanisms and/or terrible relationship models, and form a healthy, mature and long-lasting relationship with each other. but they don't get the chance to do that, because of the First War, and instead their unstable and immature relationship is put under an existential pressure it could never have survived

okay. but then we should be able to see them slowly, if painfully, recover from and/or learn to live with the impacts of that war and eventually get to a stable place where they can deal with their formative trauma as well. except Sirius goes off to be tortured for 12 years, and Remus is sentenced to living as a lonely, isolated and unsupported outcast, who’s lost everything good that he gained in his life

okay... but then when they're finally released from this slice of hell frozen in time for 12 years, they should be able to spend the rest of their lives, guess what? fucking recovering from it all, and maybe, perhaps, being able to salvage a healthy relationship from it. instead they get thrust into another war, where every bit of trauma they've already gone through is magnified, and they have one (1) year together in absolutely awful circumstances before Sirius is killed

at every single turn in their story queer and/or ND people are taught that they will never find safety. they will never be given a reprieve and the chance of stability and happiness they see others have. it's not on the cards for them. it is simply not possible. JKR hams this home three fucking times. it’s brutal. it’s vicious. it’s beyond what anyone should ever have to go through. it’s entirely unnecessary for the plot. it is just punishing them for who they are

it’s a trope we all know well from that era, but the fact that it’s used as a punishment for so many other aspects of Sirius's character is what makes it so doubly awful

conc

nothing about what JKR did to Sirius was an accident. it was deliberate, it was targeted. and it has very, very real impacts on kids growing up reading those books

we should be learning that what makes us different is nothing to be ashamed of, that everyone is different in some way, that difference is all a matter of perspective, that you should be allowed to express every aspect of who you are without so much as a comment, let alone stigma. we should be learning that in a world which doesn't afford us that luxury, we can still build our own sanctuary where we can have that, full of found family and meaningful, lasting love. we should be seeing people like us unlearn the harmful ideas they absorbed growing up so we learn how to do that as well; we should be learning what people like us look like in relationships; we should be made to believe, in our very bones, that happiness is possible for us

instead we watch someone who we see ourselves in be tortured, humiliated, punished and denied every ounce of happiness until their premature death

Sirius deserved better, we all deserved better, and i'll never be quiet for a fucking moment about it lest this wrongdoing go ignored

#finally answering this #it required SO much thought #and it made me really sad #so it took a minute #but it's important #sirius black #wolfstar #harry potter #ty for the ask bb #ch: we choose who we really are #hp #hp meta #meta

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punmster · 7 days

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Sorry if this ends up overwhelming you and if it does, feel free to ignore them. I’m just bored and curious. 👉👈😅

Which character do you think had the most potential in the Harry Potter series and do you plan on implementing any of your ideas into them?

If DSMSG Draco was locked in a room with Umbridge, Lockhart, and Voldemort and had a gun with two bullets, who would he choose to shoot?(totally not stolen from The Office)

I think you may or may have not mentioned this earlier and feel free to ignore this question if it’s a spoiler, but when does Harry begin having feelings for Draco/act on them?

no worries, i wanted a distraction from my work anyway lol

In terms of potential, I'm not quite sure. My first thought was Draco (Duh) mostly because I wish so badly that they kept the scene in the final movie where he threw his wand to Harry. That alone would probably do so much for his character, and I am very likely going to do something with it in the fic. Plus the whole really weird hug with Voldy thing, kinda seems like Voldy is trying to have a relationship with him that parallels Harry and Dumbledore's. Anyway, Draco's SO uncomfortable all the time in 7th, it makes me very excited to get to it :) I also think Narcissa is pretty interesting since she kinda parallels Lily, and the fact she lied to the Dark Lord TO HIS FACE and protected Harry...I know I make Narcissa out to be just a very overbearing mother (and bad cook) but I hope to make Draco see the other sides to her later on, when he gets his head out of his ass. For now, she's sort of just comic relief, but there are some things set up in the very first years that will come back in the later years.

(also i REALLY need to add neville in some more--thematically he's super important, but he just doesn't get that much screen time yet. I'll have to think more about how to integrate him, but definitely he will appear more in 3rd w/ other characters. Other characters I plan to include are Cedric, Luna, maybe Cho? Marietta, probably, for the whole traitor thing in the 5th book, and ofc Pansy and Zabini, though those two are the flattest in the books so I'm gonna have to make up a lot of stuff lol. gotta add in sirius obvs [he's actually my favorite, which was why he was not-malfoy's fave in the old version], and remus [also we gotta discuss the werewolf in the room, with the whole snape prank thing...])

Draco would probably blackmail Lockhart into taking the gun and shooting Umbridge twice. He isn't stupid enough to try to kill Voldemort with a gun (are the horcruxes around in this hypothetical?also Voldy lived in like. WWII? Although he's ignorant of love magic stuff, he is probably deeply aware of the dangers of Muggle weapons, which maybe relates to his desire to conquer them) but Draco would love Umbridge dead, and he'd want more blackmail on Lockhart lol. The man's main fear is losing his reputation so that's probably a better punishment than death. If it's sixth year Draco he might just shoot himself though

I have mentioned that Draco doesn't want to date as a minor or date minors even if physically the same age due to the weird age gap/time question thing (a really big issue in isekai/transmigration imo, and the bit of this fic that makes me want to just make it platonic--seriously. I read one where this grown man DATED A SEVEN YEAR OLD B/C HE WAS IN A CHILD'S BODY??) but Harry will obviously not be thinking about that since for all he knows, they're both normal kids. You can probably safely assume he starts thinking of romance at the same time as in the books, though obviously his friendship w/ Draco and the whole "it's the nineties and I think I'm gay?!" thing would make him not as proactive about it for a while

#also draco's probably gonna explain he doesnt wanna date if he and his partner arent both adults #so harry would respect that and not act until then *COUGH COUGH* tower *COUGH COUGH*#the guy who dated the 7yo was deeply traumatized btw #not that thats an excuse but ig i feel bad his life was so fucking messed up. his sister was DEFINITELY the worse one of the two #on the subject of romance. i think draco would reject harry even if they are both adults (at first) b/c he thinks harry fell in love w/ the #ferret-owner version of him. and that feels an awful lot like grooming! not the kind you do with pets #however we have and will see harry doesn't love FO the same way and even prefers draco over him (ch21 i think where he forgets about FO #as draco is leaving for instance)#that and draco literally had no intention to make harry love him as more than a friend so...kinda in the same realm as teacher crushes kind #dmsmg #drarry

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a-little-specificity · 1 year

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disclose

for @wolfstarmicrofic

This can be read as a continuation set after raid.

James is the first person Sirius tells, because of course he is. Despite his overall popularity at school, Sirius doesn't have a lot of mates. He absolutely, under no circumstances, could disclose any of his secrets to Regulus, no matter how deeply he yearned for that connection to be rekindled. So that left James, Remus, and Pete.

Sirius loved Pete, even when he wasn't necessarily the kindest to him, but this just didn't feel like the kind of thing he'd tell Pete first. And really, it wasn't his approval or reassurance he was looking for.

And this whole debacle is about Remus, had been bubbling up ever since that morning in the infirmary when Sirius had brushed his fingertips across Remus' hand, his fingertips which still buzz with the phantom sparks he felt when he had done so.

So he absolutely, under no circumstances, could tell Remus.

Naturally, that leaves James.

Sirius has no clue how to approach this, hasn't ever had a relationship so important that his anxiety about potentially ruining said relationship was guiding his behavior. He also wasn't quite sure how to tell his best mate, whom he'd now spent four years living with, that he thinks he might be a little bit bent and he absolutely might fancy Remus.

After weeks of internal turmoil, countless moments where he found himself on the verge of just spilling his guts even in very inopportune situations, Sirius finds himself truly alone with James, wandering the streets of Hogsmeade with their pockets full of sweets and future prank ingredients.

James was waxing poetic about Lily, whom they had spotted as they were leaving Honeydukes. Sirius found himself half-heartedly mhm-ing and nodding along, until he just couldn't take it anymore, the nerves and the truth needing to escape his body.

"James I've got to tell you something." He started, stopping in his tracks along the path that winds nearer the quidditch pitch.

"Yeah Sirius, what is it then? You alright?" James' hazel eyes bore into Sirius' and he was momentarily distracted by just how expressive, how open they were.

"I think..." He started, trailed off, eyes wandering away from James for a moment before returning to his gaze. "I thinkImightfancyRemus."

"Well, mate, I hate to tell you this - but I could've told you that, like, last year. Glad you've finally figured it out though." Despite his gentle ribbing, Sirius could see the sincerity in James' faces. He took a deep breath, shoving his slightly shaking hands into his robe pockets.

"Hey, we're always gonna be brothers, alright?" James said earnestly, his eyes lighting up as he placed a gentle hand on Sirius' shoulder.

"Brothers." Sirius agreed, pulling James in for a true hug, relishing in the closeness of him, his ability to love unconditionally.

"So," James started, pulling away, a smile playing at the corners of his lips. "How are we going to tell our Moony then?"

Sirius groaned.

cross-posted on A03

#wolfstar #sirius black #james potter #coming out #marauders #marauders era #remus lupin #wolfstar microfic #disclose #sirius pov #remus x sirius #sirius and james being best friends is just so important! they *get* each other!

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jfleamont · 2 years

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what do you think it is that makes James Potter such an attractive character?

Hello anon ❤️

This is such an interesting question! I could say that he's simply described like that and move on, but I think there's so much more to it, to him.

He was a Quidditch player, ruffled his hair, played with the Snitch, had a charming smile... Physically, he was the textbook definition of hot. On the surface he's a reformed bad boy: he used to be a prat but he died as a changed man, a hero... And this is a trope that a lot of us love.

But really?

He's someone who found out his friend was a werewolf at 12 years old and instead of pitying him or, worse, discarding him, he found a solution. He became an animagus at 15, not only breaking the law but risking his own life - it was already a dangerous process, and he did it unsupervised at such a young age - just so that he could make Remus' life a bit easier. You see, James was no stranger to sacrifices. He was like this before Harry.

James gave Sirius a home and a family when he lost both in one fell swoop, and he forgave Sirius' prank on Snape: he had a big heart, had a lot of love to give.

I'm in no way excusing his mistakes; but I think that even though we mostly got to know him through other people's eyes, it doesn't mean that he's any less interesting.

I think we find him attractive because he was a great friend. He was exactly what they needed: a brother for Sirius, an ally for Remus, an inspiration for Peter. I think his dedication to his friends is one of his best traits: personally, it's exactly the thing I look for in people in real life.

He was smart: he was a Transfiguration prodigy and he became Head Boy, which didn't necessarily require good marks as far as I'm aware, but if he was chosen it meant that Dumbledore knew he would take it seriously.

His relationship with Lily... We don't know enough about them, except for the fact that they rowed a lot, then finally made up, slowly became friends and, eventually, lovers.

I also believe that, no matter how many fix-it fics we read, no matter how many times we see him survive in other AUs, there's still an ache in our hearts when we think about him. He was doomed from the start, which makes his life even more meaningful. Not only that, but he died young. Awfully young. Twenty-one. I think about him and then I think about me at that age and... He shouldn't have seen any of those horrors.

We mourn the person he could have been. He's forever young, forever immortalised in his last moments as he bravely faces death and makes the ultimate sacrifice.

People have always been fascinated by great people who tragically died young. Heath Ledger, John Lennon (though the latter wasn't exactly young, he wasn't old either), or even the 27 Club: Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse and many more. These people died at the height of their fame; over time we tend to see them as more than human, almost god-like figures that have graced us with their presence on earth. I think we feel a bit like that towards James sometimes. He will never be older than twenty-one, he will never make mistakes as a father, husband or friend. And it is as heartbreaking as it is frustrating.

There's something about his potential as a character. Layered, interesting, captivating... He would have been important not because he was Harry's father, but because he was James.

However, one of the main reasons we love him so much - I know, this reply hasn't been about him being attractive for a while now - is because out of the four Marauders, he's the one we know the least about. It would make sense if we didn't get attached to him. Many people do not, in fact, like him. But we do and it's because he is, in many ways, a blank slate. He can be whoever we want, and that's so liberating! We can project our fears, dreams, insecurities onto him. It's both stimulating and cathartic. James has a freedom that other characters (Harry, for example) don't have. Even in canon compliant fics, James can be many different people and still have the core values that we know and love.

Despite this reply being very long, I don't think I fully conveyed why I like him so much. I'm not very good with words these days and there are things that I can't really put into words. There's a lot more I'd like to say about him but I'd like to see someone else's take on this! So please feel free to add more ❤️

Thank you for this wonderful question you made my day, seriously!

#the rest of the reply is under the cut because I couldn't stop myself #also I may be a bit biased but it's Jilytober and I just love him too much to talk about him in a calm and collected way #james potter #jily #harry potter #marauders #jilytober #jfleamont rambles #asks

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