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jedi-starbird · 3 months

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APLAP (Assigned Pathetic Lifeform at Padawanship)

New padawan Obi-Wan trying to figure out how the FUCK to make his master listen and not abandon him to go running off following "the will of the force" when it hits him. Qui-Gon is perfectly happy stopping and taking care of pathetic life forms, but not Obi-Wan. That's it. He's always been prepared, always been dutiful, strong, self-sufficient.

He's cracked the code. He needs to be more pathetic.

The next time he senses Qui-Gon's about to run off he coordinates a scene of utmost pathetic-ness, that is, he throws himself into the nearest fountain. He trudges up to his master sopping wet, water-logged robes swallowing him, with hair sticking to his face and containing bits of algae from the fountain. He mumbles out an apology for being clumsy before looking up at Qui-Gon with the biggest, most woeful eyes possible to ask if he happened to bring any spare robes (he didn't, Obi-Wan knows this because he is usually the one to pack spare robes for them both). His wet hair is dripping water into his eyes that's beginning to turn them an irritated red, and there's algae sliding down the side of his face, it really is masterful work.

"Oh...I'm sure I'll be able to find something by myself, it's okay Master, I know you had important work to do."

Qui-Gon visibly hesitates. Obi-Wan starts shivering. He turns to walk away. He's stopped by his Master's hand on his shoulder. His Master, who walks back with him, who gets clean clothes from their hosts, who has folded like wet flimsi and even explains his stupid, stupid plan before choosing to hotwire a hoverbike with a passenger seat! Oh, Obi-Wan really has cracked the code!

Afterwards, Obi-Wan stages an increasingly pitiful accident for himself every time his patented 'Qui-Gon Jinn Bullshit' detector goes off. Eventually, his Master stops leaving him behind at all, even giving him funny looks when he turns around and Obi-Wan isn’t next to him. It never fails to make Obi-Wan grin and run to catch up. Sure, his reputation as a perfect padawan is in tatters, alongside his dignity, but it’s a small price to pay for a place at his Master’s side, for him to remember there’s a place for Obi-Wan there.

When the ray shields come up on Naboo, Qui-Gon doesn't charge ahead and leave his padawan behind, he hasn't for years. He waits for Obi-Wan because it feels wrong to do otherwise, his padawan belongs at his side.

Much, much later, when Obi-Wan is drinking to the end of the war with friends, Commander Cress will ask him how he kept General Jinn from running off for entire decade. Obi-Wan laughs, informs him, and resolutely ignores the scene Quinlan is making as the man cackles and pulls up a book to shove at them both, titled Classical Conditioning 101: A guide to subtle psychological manipulation.

#obi-wan: you ABANDON padawan? you leave him behind like lost toy? oh! oh! Jail for Master! Jail for Master for One Thousand Years!!!!#14 yr old obi decides the best way to deal with qui gon is to assign himself the mans poor little meow meow and uknow what it fucking works #accidentally stumbling into emotional vulnerability to have a better relationship #he's got the right answer with the wrong equation but we'll take it #obi wan kenobi #qui gon jinn #padawan obi wan #qui gon and obi wan #star wars

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bluegiragi · 11 months

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sloppy eater

nsfw on patreon

#step 1: go on urban dictionary #step 2: define “munch”#thank me later #i just think it was a crime that he wasnt allowed to properly bite someone all movie #get this man a chew toy or something maybe then he'll calm down #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #spiderverse #across the spiderverse #giragi art

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pjoseries · 5 months

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percy jackson, son of sally jackson.... i will start wailing in the streets

#pjo #pjotv #pjo spoilers #percy jackson #sally jackson #text #tais toi lys #biggest mama's boy known to man #kid has katniss energy when he's fighting against 2 immortals not to go on a quest but the moment someone he loves can be helped he's THERE #*

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 5 months

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he's in my home he's in my Heart

#translation: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #hello hello hello hellOOOOOOOOO #hes so cute!!!! and the material is So Soft!!!#the urge to fling him as hard as i can at a wall is There!#i wont though. i wouldnt dare #but ohhhh its him <3 the chew toy <3<3 in the. uh. fabric #i didnt expect him to be so firmly stuffed its a Delightful surprise #his little outfit his stupid fuckin cinnamon bun hair AGH i love him #thirty bucks well spent!!!#i cant wait to crochet him a little sweater <3 #and a little Home to keep him company <3 #oh man oh man Where am i gonna put him...#in the basket??? on my bed?? on a shelf - no! i dont have the room!#maybe he'll bounce around from spot to spot!#photos from the bog #welcome home #gotta say i really do love how it kinda looks like his ascot is strangling him #i looked to see if i could loosen it lmao is he breathing alright!!!!#cant wait to have extensive staring contests with him <3 #finally... someone who wont look away or find eye contact Uncomfortable...#i will admit im already obsessed with holding his tiny soft hand #AGH he's so <3<3<3 he's soooooo <3<3<3<3 #thank you makeship for the opportunity to have him physically in my life #thank you clown for creating him & letting makeship turn him into a marketable plushie he's Everything. 100000/10 absolutely phenomenal #MAN i cant believe he's here!!!!#it feels kinda unreal! like! Wally Darling! in my house! My House!! holy shit!!!#hearts on his soles and everything!#oh and as a bonus he arrived in a wonderful little canvas Bag #i do love me a bag... extra thank you to makeship for the bag. new bag <3 i'll put things in it <3

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fanaticalthings · 2 years

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I know Wayne Manor probably looks as normal as possible to avoid visitors suspecting the family's past time activities..

but also I highly doubt Bruce was able to avoid making some obscure changes to the Manor just based on the fact that his children are fucking feral.

Some of the windows are either boarded up, or have cages on them from the inside, and to an onlooker, they'll probably think "Oh those poor kids, being caged inside like animals, unable to get fresh air. I always knew that Wayne guy was sketchy. "

but it's literally just because his kids won't stop launching themselves head-first out of the windows whenever Bruce is mid lecture. doesn't matter if they're on the 4th floor.

sometimes visitors will get a closer look at the inside of the place and see a lot of things baby proofed, which is weird because "Aren't all of Wayne's kids old enough to not get themselves hurt like babies do?"

No, Sharon, do not underestimate the power of 6 hyperactive children combined in a room together, they will absolutely get themselves hurt in some way.

some furniture and objects are just straight up bolted to the floor, and everyone just assumes Bruce is a perfectionist or a micromanager, but Bruce literally had no other option since his fucking kids keep throwing shit at each other, and sometimes they just do it to get the other's attention or because they just felt like it. Sometimes they'll even throw each other

I just need some DC comics that acknowledge that the Manor has some additional features that were integrated after Bruce's countless experiences with each new weird ass child he gains.

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eye-of-yelough · 21 days

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fave Gortash line [and devnote] ever btw. this specific side of him is just so. chefs kiss to me.

the mock-friendliness. the threat. the sadism. the twisted, almost immature sense of humour.

the terrifyingly intelligent tyrant in his late forties with a black hole where his heart should be. with the emotional intelligence of a ten year old.

#this is why he’s weird about toys.#yknow those people who clutch their pearls at the prospect of adult men enjoying things for kids cos they think they’re perverts.#gortash is the guy they’re picturing. he’s the perverted old man who likes to hump stuffed animals #and then put bombs in them lmao #your daily dose of idiocy #enver gortash #gortash #bg3

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jabberwockprince · 1 year

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the little guy of all times ! ! !

#welcome home #welcome home arg #wally darling #purinsu art #feel free to grab this man and shake him all around #personally im chewing on him like a dog toy hes so funny

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bxnnie-bxwl · 9 months

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fooling around and drawing some fnaf 2 bunys

#ive always wanted to draw fnaf 2 withered bonnie and man hes so fun to draw #and toy bonnie is so cute and goofy what a guy #my blorbos #me and boyfriend had been rewatching markiplier's fnaf playlist lately and been loving to see fnaf 2 again #art #fnaf #fnaf 2 fanart #fnaf 2 toy bonnie #fnaf 2 bonnie

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dirtytransmasc · 9 months

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Alicent being ignored as a parent during those first few years. Alicent being expected to take care of aegon, while also allowing Viserys to take him whenever he so pleased, to show off and pass around like a model toy. Alicent being denied her child whenever lords and ladies were around. Alicent only getting him back when she was at her wits end, stressed after being separated from him for so long, watching people hold him wrong, play with him wrong, touch him wrong. Alicent only getting him back when he is fussy and no longer a source of entertainment for Viserys and his guests. Alicent holding her baby close to her chest during outings or events, stiffening when people ask to see him, hesitant to release her grip on him. Alicent biting her tongue when people ask to "give her a break" when she really wants to tell them that it's her baby and she's perfectly capable. Alicent being so exhausted from guests and Aegon being so little and full of energy, and her second pregnancy, causing her to doze with Aegon in her arms, only to nearly lash out when someone tries to slip him from her arms, engulfing him in her arms as if to fend him from hungry wolves. Alicent carrying him around, even as she grows tired, her arms burning and back aching, so she knows he is safe, away from prying hands and acrid whispers, away from his father's attempts to use him for amusement purposes. Alicent feigning a smile, feigning composure and enjoyment, when really, she just wants to be home, in her chambers with her son, where no one can bother them, where they aren't props meant to smile and wave for a man who does not love them.

(inspired by this reblog of my post from earlier. cause yes, @squgs [hope you don't mind me tagging] is right, she would very much go to war for her baby)