#here's to hoping the coming year is just a little bit kinder

[glossgojo]

hold me across every state line

joel miller x reader | 3.7k words

part 2 here

cw: 18+ MINORS DNI, age gap (obviously let’s be real), AFAB reader, fingering, slight pervy joel, pet names, multiple orgasms, choking, oral fem receiving, lingerie, porn with some plot, non-canon compliant, joel has feelings <3

you had been traveling with joel and ellie ever since philadelphia and as hard as you and joel had tried to ignore whatever was going on between you two, he couldn’t help but let his gaze linger on you. you all arrive at jackson and feel like you can relax for a bit. it all comes to a head when you were changing and he caught a glimpse of fucking lingerie. joel miller feels like a teenage boy all over again just because of you.

a/n: def gotta a lil carried away, what can i say joel miller makes me FERAL. also beta version sorry i wrote this in a daze

it had been a month since you joined joel and ellie, you had grown fond of them both. your younger sister was ellie’s age before you lost her a couple years after the outbreak, it felt healing talking to her. ellie, in a lot of ways, was similar to you. unfortunately for joel that meant a lot more worrying than he admitted to. although he’d never admit it, he was quite fond of you and you were downright gone for the older man. it wasn’t like you had been single since the outbreak or before, but something about joel made your heart beat faster than ever and brought a smile to your face just from a mere thought about the grumpy man.

but you never labeled your feelings and neither did he, you both operated under a need to keep each other and ellie safe and that was it. ellie wasn’t dumb, she could see what was happening between you two. she also knew it was only a matter of time before you both gave in to whatever you were feeling. for now you three just acted out of survival instinct and that was enough. weeks morphed into months and winter was cruel to you three. you spent nights in joel’s arms, you both attributed it to feeling safer that way and for warmth of course. you never missed how sometimes you could feel his heart against your back, beating just as fast as your own. or when you would wake up before him and the sun shone down on his face, his expression would be relaxed and you could dream for a while about him looking at you like that. you hoped one day joel would let the pain he carried on his shoulders be lifted by ellie or even you.

when you all made it to jackson and joel reunited with his brother you felt like you could finally breathe again. although your body was always primed to fight and run, you couldn’t help but relax as maria treated you like a friend. she was kinder than anyone you had met since the outbreak, it all felt too good to be true. your suspicions were shared with joel and ellie. the three couldn’t relax even in the small condo tommy had given to you. maria had whisked ellie away to socialize with the other kids, saying how it would be good for her and far be it from you and joel to argue with her about it.

that left you and joel in a warm house with power and gas, feeling very out of place. the house had two rooms with two en-suite bathrooms, so naturally you and joel decided to share. joel was lying down on the bed, not fully asleep as he stared up at the ceiling planning the next steps in head. he had showered and changed into the clothes maria had dropped off, feeling like a new man. his mind raced at the possibilities of how to get ellie to the fireflies. you had spoke earlier about staying a little bit longer and collecting more information before setting out. he had disagreed, wanting to leave as soon as possible but you convinced him to stay, it would be better for ellie and especially him to spend more time with his brother and others. you also didn’t mind how relaxed joel looked when he was with his brother.

you were just getting out of the shower as you reached for a towel, drying off as you looked at the underwear maria had given you. you had blushed when you first saw it, clearly she thought you and joel were much more than friends after just a few minutes of interacting with her. you weren’t really sure why you decided to wear the lacy black panties and matching bra instead of the more sensible set, but maybe it was something about how maria had raised her eyebrow when you tried giving back the lingerie. you insisted it was nothing like that, but she had simply said, “are you sure because i think everyone else is?” instead of answering her you just snatched the clothes out of her hands and stalked back to the condo. you thought back about how you and joel interacted in front of her when you met.

“joel, say congrats.” ellie nudged joel in the elbow as you sat on the other side of him, making him move into your side slightly. joel looked to for you some sort of permission, you just nodded with a comforting smile on your face. you wanted him to know it was okay to be happy for his brother, that his brother still loved him and that his new life could have his big brother in it. joel’s hand that had been on your leg the entire dinner, squeezed your thigh in gratitude and as always you tried to swallow down the desire it shot through you. maybe you weren’t as successful as you thought in hiding the blush to you face, maybe maria had caught onto where his hand was and the reason behind your tinted cheeks.

you sighed and tried to shove the thoughts out of your mind, as you slightly opened the bathroom door and peeked through to see joel lying down with his eyes closed, a hand resting on his forehead, further obstructing his view. you took the chance to tiptoe to the closet and pick out some clothes to change into. unbeknownst to you joel had cracked his eyes upon the small creak of the floorboard and felt the air leaving his lungs at the sight of you.

joel had seen your body before, when rain made clothes cling to your skin or when you dipped into a clean river. but nothing compared to seeing your bare skin adorned in lacy black lingerie, a suggestion of fabric covered your ass and your breasts were pushed up as if to further torture him. joel felt all of his blood rush south and his heart beat pick up, he hated himself for silently peaking at you but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. he thought he was going a little bit insane when he watched you pull up a pair of jeans over your curves, jumping a little as they hugged your ass. his pants grew tight, his erection straining against the denim.

joel was on the precipice of losing his mind as you wrapped your arms around your chest and hugged yourself, your boobs pushing up and threatening his mental stability. joel had had enough at this point, his dick hard and heavy in his pants, aching to be touched. he sat up, making you flinch and wrap your arms around yourself tighter, not helping him much as you turned towards.

“how long does it take to choose a shirt sweetheart? do you need my help?” his voice was gruff and deep, you shivered at his tone noticing a clip to his voice. your heartbeat picked up as you raked over his expression, he looked more frustrated than anything else. and you didn’t miss how his eyes flicked between your chest and your eyes. it was now or never. you knew looking into brown eyes they were darkened by something you would see in your own.

“can you help me, please?” joel raised an eyebrow at your tone, like you were sure of yourself but still needed him. if joel were more confident in himself he would know that you were just as desperate for him as he was for you but he knew you could do better. you could definitely find someone younger and more suited for you. despite the rational part of his brain that knew better, he got off the bed and walked towards you. he didn’t stop until his chest was almost brushing against yours and he was towering over you. there was a slight flush to your lips and your breathing was fast enough to draw his attention to the rise and fall of your chest. he still let himself read into it, didn’t let himself dwell on the glossy look in your eyes or the way your lips were parted as if to take him in.

looking away from your gaze for a moment, joel pulled out a plain red t-shirt from the closet, meeting your gaze once again. you didn’t move to take it from his hands, just watched him expectantly and joel almost snapped the hanger in half from the hold he had on it. you wanted him to dress you. joel wasn’t sure if you were doing this to torture him or not but he sure as hell felt more desperate than he ever had. the last time he was this painfully hard from barely any stimulation was probably high school. he took your challenge instead, pulling the shirt off the hanger and flinging it to the side, he gently pulled the opening over your head, motioning for your hands to uncross and you followed quietly. you were practically drowning in the sensuality of being controlled by joel, exactly how you wanted. you had soaked through the thin fabric of your underwear as you gasped at the feeling of joel’s warm calloused hands against the soft skin of your arms. he pulled the shirt over your chest and you watched his darkened eyes travel over your body, his jaw clenching as he took in your curves.

“thank you.” you whispered, not wanting to disturb the air around you both. joel looked you up and down, as if assessing his work. he licked his lips as he remembered the sight from earlier, he felt himself leaking into his boxers, even more turned on from your small gasps and glazed eyes. you looked like a doe awaiting his shot, it drove him a little bit crazier. as much as you wanted to sink to you knees and take him into your mouth you wanted him to make the first move, wanted him to be as sure as you were that this wasn’t just one-sided. joel took one last look at your blown out pupils and glossy lips and decided that enough was enough, he had to make a decision right now.

“not sure about those pants though, doll.” your eyebrows knitted up from confusion, you looked down at them and back up at him. joel was endeared by the naivety in your expression, making good use of your confusion by looping a finger through the belt notch of your jeans and tugging you closer.

“i’d rather they were off.” he could see the words click in your pretty little head as the confusion was replaced by the desire he knew so well. you didn’t look away from his hungry gaze as you fumbled to undo the brass button of your pants. joel’s finger that was still curled into the notch, moved to cover your hand.

“let me, pretty girl.” you had to hold back a whine from his words, his gruff voice coupled with the pet name was grating against your sensibility, your underwear a complete mess from his words and presence alone. you were sure you would unravel if he touched you where you really needed him. joel undid your buckle with two fingers and pulled your pants down in one swift movement, causing you to yelp. he didn’t move as he watched you shiver from desire, he could almost laugh at how desperate you were. had you always been so gone for him? it wasn’t like he was much better though.

“j-joel please.” you choked out, you would do anything for him to touch you. you were on the verge of crying as he grinned at the pout on your lips.

“please what?” he stepped back, making a whine claw up your throat, you stepped towards without thinking.

“i need you.” joel nodded at the words, it wasn’t news to anyone, he needed you just as badly.

“come here.” joel moved to the bed, you followed obediently. when you sat down at the edge of the bed he pulled you by the hips, roughly moving you to lie down with your head on the pillows. he shifted himself to sit in front of your legs and your eyes widened as you realized what was about to happen. his rough large hands kneaded the soft flesh of your thighs, he took in the sight of your bare thighs and pretty cunt covered in lacy black material.

“did you wear these for me?” his hands were traveling up, parting your legs as they moved inwards. you loaned, back arching as you felt callouses rub your sensitive inner thighs. joel moved to sit down more comfortably, letting his thick thighs stretch you even more. he kept his hand on your left thigh, keeping you stretched wide. his other hand moved closer to your core, stopping when you didn’t answer his question.

“yes only for you.” you whined out, you had never sounded more desperate and foreign to yourself but you didn’t care you were completely lost to your desire. joel liked your answer, letting his hand tease the edge of your underwear, you twitched from his touch. he couldn’t help but scoff at how sensitive you were. he ripped a cry of his name from you when he pushed the fabric aside revealing glistening folds and a pool of liquid. he swore under his breath, wondering just how long you had been soaking through your underwear, sure enough he felt the fabric wet from your juices. joel wanted to deal this memory away, he knew he’d remember it any time his cock was in his hand. you squirmed from his gaze, whining for him to touch you, to do anything. joel snapped the band of your underwear against your skin, making you shut up.

“so fucking wet, is that all for me too?” joel didn’t think he could survive much longer without tasting you, moving to lay down between your thighs, you noticed immediately and it made you breath a little more rapidly.

“you drive me crazy joel, it’s always because of you, i’m yours.” you sat up on your elbows, looking at how his face was now hovering your hips. your words itched the part of joel’s brain that wanted you to be all his. he wasn’t proud of it but he wanted you to be his forever. without much warning, joel weaved his arms under your thighs and pulled you forwards, your cunt colliding with his nose. the small friction of his large nose against your clit made you moan out his name again. joel thought it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard, he loved how his name sounded coming out of your mouth. he wanted you to own it, wanted his name to be yours, he felt more possessive of you than ever. he rubbed his nose against your clit, breathing in the sweet smell of you, his lips and nose getting a bit wet just from your underwear. he kissed your cunt, ripping a strangled noise from your throat and he decided he wanted much more of those sounds as he pulled your underwear down, finally letting himself give in to his need to taste you. you were practically screaming his name as the cool air hit your clit.

joel didn’t waste time in spreading your legs wider and making them ache from the stretch, pulling your ass slightly into the air as he planted his lips right onto your core. his tongue licked one stripe from your clit down to where your arousal pooled. you tasted like peaches and heaven, and joel pulled you impossibly closer, he could barely breathe through his nose but it didn’t matter not when you tasted like everything he’d ever wanted and your ichor was painted on the back of his teeth. as much as he drank you in, the more you bloomed for him. you were squirming and screaming his name, begging for him to stop or keep going you weren’t sure. you could only think of his name, only feel him and only breathe him. his mustache and beard grated against your most sensitive parts, making you clench around him. joel’s tongue was inside you drinking you in like you were water and he was stuck in the desert for days. the sounds his mouth produced were obscene and they did nothing but drive you closer to your orgasm. you were rocking on his tongue, never having felt this good before. as you got closer, joel pulled out, his tongue still on your hole as his nose ground your clit. you cried at the feeling, fingers interweaving with his hair and tugging him against you. joel got the idea and brought his hand up to tease your clit as he went back to feasting on you. you felt yourself grow close, pulling his face against you, as you whined out his name. you came undone on his tongue, twitching into his mouth and joel drank in the wave of arousal it produced, never being satiated enough. finally when you were too sensitive for his tongue you tugged on his hair. joel removed his mouth with a pop and a string of your cum and his saliva connected him to you. his beard and mustache were glistening with your ichor and you felt arousal wash over you all over again, you still wanted to taste him, wanted his lips against yours and so you wove your hands around his neck and sat up to meet him halfway. joel climbed up, you wove your legs around his hips. joel’s lips were rough against you, but they tasted like you and you moaned into his lips. joel kissed you fervently as if he had not just tasted you, like it wasn’t enough and his facial hair rubbed against your skin. your cum was coating both of your faces by the time you pulled back for air. joel put more of his weight against you and you felt his clothed hard on press against your core, making you whine and grab at his shirt to pull him closer. “joel please, want you inside.”

just from what you felt pressed against you, you knew he was big and you salivated at the feeling. you were getting wet just thinking about having him inside you. joel watched your fucked out expression and puffy lips and decided against his urge to fuck you even dumber. he told himself he had time, you weren’t like the others, this was different you wouldn’t just disappear.

“next time, doll, can you come for me again?” you nodded, tears welling in your eyes as desire mixed with your need to be close to him. joel moved off of you, drawing a whimper from you, he interwove his fingers with yours, calming your nerves and you sighed contently. joel didn’t know how you could be so damn endearing and seductive at the same time. with his free hand he pushed you up the bed by your hip, until you were sitting up with your back against the bed-frame. he found his home between your legs, spreading one with his hand the other still holding yours. he used his knee to press against the inner flesh of your thigh, pinning it there and stretching you wide open. you whined at the feeling, although he was the one between your thighs you felt caged in. he was towering over your frame as your back pressed against the cold metal frame. finally when the whine left your mouth, he let go of your hand moving it south as he looked you in the eyes. his hand teased the seam of your cunt, he chuckled at the feeling of you so wet all over again. there was a bead of arousal at your opening, ready for him to please you all over again. he couldn’t get enough of you. without any warning he pressed two fingers into you, plunging them deep and feeling you clench around them. Your breath came out in a huff as you looked up to him with desperation in his eyes. joel curled his fingers facing his palm upwards as he felt for the spot that made you unravel and when he did you struggled against his grasp and pushed against his knee to close on his hands. you gasped out his name and joel laughed at the tears forming in your eyes. he plunged into your soaking cunt again and again. setting a brutal pace and just when you felt close enough he slowed down, he shut up your babbling with a harsh kiss to your mouth. it was teeth and tongues clashing against each other, but the desire and desperation you felt was reciprocated in the way he kissed you. you kissed until your lungs screamed for air and when you were about to pull away, joel plunged three fingers into, you gasped into his mouth. pulling away as your eyes rolled to the back of your head and joel littered your neck with kisses and bites. he marked you as he wanted, made sure everyone knew who you belonged to. you were gushing around his fingers, he added a fourth finger and you screamed his name. if the blooming marks on your neck weren’t enough, the whole community would hear your screams. you started begging when he abused the spot that made your mind go blank, all you could feel was intense burning desire and all you could say was “please joel.” like it was a prayer.

your prayers were answered when his thumb ground against your clit and you came on his hand. you slumped forward, joel catching you as he moved his hand from your thigh and brought his soaked fingers up to his mouth. he wanted to memorize your taste, licking his fingers clean before pressing a kiss to your lips. you let him kiss you, you were spent now and your mind numb from pleasure. joel helped you lay down and cleaned you up as much as he could, he put your underwear in his pocket, he had to deal with his hard-on after you fell asleep. joel combed his fingers through your hair, as you relaxed into the bed. you fell asleep breathing in the scent of his shampoo on the pillow-sheet and the feeling on his fingertips scraping your scalp.

#joel miller x reader #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller x y/n #pedro pascal smut #joel miller smut #joel miller imagine #tlou fanfiction #tlou joel #joel miller fanfiction

[heartateasee]

“Intraoffice”

ceo!harry x you

Word Count: 13k

Warnings: a handjob, some comeplay, fingering (f receiving), brief spitting and protected sex.

Plot: Your previous CEO was retiring, and Harry is taking his place. Neither of you were expecting each other to be so young, and after while, you begin to develop a flirty friendship within the workplace. One business trip causes all those feelings to come to fruition.

(I stumbled across this TikTok account the other night, and it caused me to spiral. So, this is the result of that 🤭 Big thank you to my bestie @finelinenina for giving me some ideas for this one as well 🫶🏻)

ꕤ • ꕤ • ꕤ • ꕤ

To say that you were going into work nervous today would be an understatement. Today was the day you were going to meet the new CEO of the company, and you were praying to whatever was above that he was kinder than the current CEO - your boss. It wasn’t that he was necessarily a mean man, Mr. Crawford, but he was older, and he liked for his assistant to not be seen or heard. He expected for you to get the job down silently, and while being invisible. It took you a little bit of time, but for the most part, you had your day down to where you and Mr. Crawford never crossed paths - something he very much appreciated.

His coffee was on his desk, as well as a print out of his meetings for the day before he even stepped foot into the office, and by the time he did, you were already behind your own desk working on other tasks. When lunchtime came, you had his lunch hot and ready, once again on his desk, before his late morning meeting finished. And then when it was time for his afternoon coffee, you snuck it into his office during his after lunch meeting.

The other assistants commented on how odd it was that Mr. Crawford made you arrange everything while he was out of his office, and you felt the same way, but it was just routine now. Hell, you had been doing it for the past four years since you were offered the position right after you had completed your internship. It was just normal now.

So this morning, you placed two cups of coffee on Mr. Crawford’s desk as you knew the replacement CEO would be with him, and you printed off two copies of the day's meetings since he would also be shadowing him all day. You didn’t really mind if the new CEO wanted you to be invisible as well, but you hoped that maybe you would start having a little bit of appreciation thrown your way instead of just being met with silence.

Just as you had turned on your heel, going to exit the office, you heard Mr. Crawford’s voice which caused your eyes to widen. He was earlier than usual today, and that caused your heart to race a bit. The last thing you needed was for him to scold you in front of your new boss.

“And just in here is where your office will be,” Mr. Crawford stepped into the doorway, and you stood there like a deer in headlights - fiddling with your fingers behind your back. “Oh, Y/N, I was hoping we’d catch you.”

You had to force off an expression of confusion at his words as you knew he was probably trying to make himself come off as a better boss. “Good morning, Mr. Crawford. I’ve just placed your coffees on the desk, as well as your schedules for the day.”

“Thank you,” he nodded at you before moving out of the way, and it was as if time stood still once the man behind him was revealed. “This is Mr. Harry Styles. He’s going to be your new boss as of Monday.”

He was young - way younger than you anticipated. With cropped curls and moss colored eyes, you truly found yourself in a bit of a trance looking at him. He had plush, pillowy looking lips with a nose that looked like it had been sculpted by the gods. Fuck, it was honestly as if every part of him had been sculpted by the gods.

“Mr. Styles, so nice to meet you,” you extended your hand to him. “I’m Y/N. I’m looking forward to working so closely together.”

Harry smiled at you, and once he took your hand, you immediately felt a warmth spreading all over your body. “Wonderful to meet you, Miss Y/N. Thank you for the coffee.”

You felt your face flush at his politeness before your hold dropped. “Of course, that’s what I’m here for,” you flicked your eyes between the two men before giving them a nod. “Well, Mr. Crawford, you know where to find me if you need me.”

As you went to leave the office, you could feel Harry’s eyes following you, and you peeked over your shoulder - confirming that he was indeed still staring. You subconsciously bit down on your bottom lip as you quickly looked away to avoid drawing attention from Mr. Crawford. Once you were back at your desk, you let out a deep breath as you stared at your computer screen.

Harry wasn’t at all what you were expecting, and little did you know that you weren’t what he was expecting either. 

ꕤ • ꕤ • ꕤ • ꕤ

It had been a couple of weeks now that Harry had been your boss, and he honestly hadn’t seen or heard you much. Occasionally you would have to call into his office to let him know that he had a call, or he’d approach your desk if he needed to have a meeting rearranged, but other than that, the situation was very much like the one when you worked for Mr. Crawford.

This morning, however, Harry made it a point to get to the office almost ten minutes earlier than usual. He wanted to try to catch you, to see exactly why you had been avoiding him. He wasn’t really aware of the fact that this is how you did things previously considering Mr. Crawford seemed more than elated to have caught you during your initial introduction. He thought that maybe you didn’t like him, and if that was the case, he needed to make things right.

He greeted a few people as he walked through the lobby, heading towards his office where he hoped you’d either be, or he’d be able to already be there before you came in. As he got closer to his door, he could hear slight shuffling, and he quietly poked his head in to see you organizing his meeting schedule, while placing another stack of papers down beside it. He figured those were the contracts that had been finalized for him to sign. His coffee was still in your hand as you did this, your bottom lip tucked between your teeth in concentration.

“Good morn-”

Harry couldn’t finish his greeting as a scream left your lips, and you jumped, spilling his coffee all over the front of your dress. You gasped as the hot liquid seeped through the fabric, and the paper cup was quickly dropped to the ground as you tried to pull your dress away from your chest. Thankfully you were wearing one with a high neckline so you wouldn’t be exposing yourself, but the material was a cream color, something you normally knew better than to wear given how clumsy you were.

“Oh my god!” Harry exclaimed as he walked forward, and without even thinking, he wrapped his hands around your wrists, assisting you with pulling the fabric away from your skin. “Y/N, I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s okay,” you sucked in a deep breath as the burning sensation began to fade away, and you swallowed harshly. “It’s fine. I’m a klutz anyway. I’ll make sure to get you another coffee as soon as possible. Thank god it didn’t get on your documents.”

Harry’s eyebrows narrowed as you spoke, and he shook his head. “I could care less about the documents. I’m not worried about them or another coffee. How’s your chest? Did it burn your skin?”

Your eyes darted down to where only you could see the exposed skin from you dress still being pulled, and you shook your head. “It doesn’t look like it,” you dropped your hands, causing Harry’s to leave your wrists, and the damp dress clung to your abdomen once again. 

“Please, take the morning to go home and change and to regather. I can’t tell you how sorry-”

“Oh, I won’t need to go home. I keep a spare change of clothes in my desk. Like I said,” you spoke as you lifted your hand above your head before pointing down at yourself. “Klutz.”

Harry couldn’t help but chuckle softly at your gesture, and he pursed his lips to the side. “Alright then, how about this? You go ahead and change, and then we’ll go out for some breakfast so I can make this up to you.”

“Breakfast? But you have a meeting at-”

“Reschedule it,” Harry said as he tucked his hands into his pockets. “We’re going to the diner down the street. You’re my new meeting.”

Your stomach formed a knot when you heard his words, and you finally found it within yourself to clamp your jaw shut. “Yes, Mr. Styles. I’ll just be a few minutes. I won’t keep you waiting long.”

“Y/N,” Harry stepped forward, and you looked up at him with round eyes. “You take all the time you need, okay? I’ll wait however long if it means you’ll feel comfortable again.”

Words escaped you at that point. This was your boss, and you had never had a man show this much concern over you before, not within the first couple weeks of knowing each other at least.

“Mhmm,” you hummed out a squeak before quickly leaving his office. 

You made your way over to your desk to retrieve the extra black trousers, and the maroon colored jumper stashed away in your bottom drawer before making your way into the employee bathroom.

Pulling your stained dress up, you grimaced as it stuck to you slightly since it had just barely begun to dry. You grabbed some paper towels and ran them under the water for a few seconds before beginning to wipe over your chest, and some of your abdomen until you were rid of all the sticky substance.

You pulled on your clothes quickly, not wanting to make Harry wait too much longer, and you exited the bathroom.

Once Harry saw you back at your desk, he left his office as you made the phone call to reschedule his morning meeting to tomorrow instead since you knew he had an opening. You watched as he grabbed your dress from where you had it laying over the back of your chair- eyebrows narrowing as you saw him drape it over the crease of his arm.

You hung up the phone and placed the strap of your purse over your shoulder. “What are you doing with my dress?”

Harry smirked softly before tilting his head towards the elevators. “Ready to go?”

You nodded in response, and then the two of you were down and out of the building - heading down the street.

“Which diner did you want to go to? I can call ahead and make sure a table is ready,” you stated, fumbling to get your cell out of your purse.

“That’s not necessary, Y/N. If we have to wait, we’ll wait,” Harry shrugged as he started to guide you down a side street, and you began to look around.

“Mr. Styles, I’m not trying to overstep here, but I don’t think there’s a diner down this street.”

“I’m not heading for the diner right now,” he shook his head, and you only walked a few more paces before he was opening up a door to a shop.

He lifted his eyebrows in encouragement for you to step in first as he held the door open, and you did so. Harry followed close behind, and you watched as he approached the counter.

“I’ll need this garment dry cleaned, please,” you heard him state before he was handing your dress over to the elderly woman helping him. “Do you think it could be finished by tomorrow?”

“Oh, Harry, I’ll have it done for you by this evening,” the woman cooed, reaching across the counter to pinch one of his cheeks.

You watched him smile, his deep dimples denting into his skin as he left out a soft laugh. “You’re too good to me, Muriel. We’ll be back whenever you give me a call.”

At this point, you were floored. Not only was he so apologetic about the spill that he practically begged you to join him for breakfast, now he was getting your dress dry cleaned?

Once you stepped back out onto the street, you started back in the direction you came from.

“You really didn’t need to do that,” you told him as you pursed your lips to the side. “I could’ve just taken care of it at home.”

“Nonsense,” Harry said, glancing over at you for a moment as you crossed the street. “If I hadn’t startled you, the coffee wouldn’t have been spilled, therefore, I wanted to make it right.”

“I really need you to stop blaming yourself for that,” you laughed softly as you continued down the sidewalk - not realizing where you were stepping was a bit unlevel.  

It caused your ankle to slightly roll, and you let out a yelp as you tripped. You braced yourself for impact with your lids shut tight, but instead you were met with a solid chest and an arm around your waist. You blinked your eyes open to see Harry looking down at you - his eyebrows up on his forehead.

“You weren’t joking when you said you were a klutz, were you?”

You felt your cheeks flush before shaking your head. “No, I wasn’t.”

You both shared a chuckle as you separated, and you were grateful to see that you were approaching a diner not too long after your stumble. The last thing you needed was to trip over another uneven sidewalk, or even worse, your own feet. 

Just like before at the dry cleaners, Harry held the door open for you, and you immediately walked over to the host stand - a habit of yours to just do this on your own. Any time Mr. Crawford held a dinner at a restaurant, it had always been your responsibility to make sure they knew you were checking in for their reservation.

“Hello, we’d like a table for two please,” you greeted her with a smile, and watched as she gathered a couple menus before nodding her head for you to follow.

Looking over your shoulder, you saw Harry watching you intently, and you tried to swallow down the nerves starting to bubble in your chest. You had never seen someone look at you the way he did before. You weren’t sure if it was a good or a bad thing, to be honest, but all you knew was that it made you nervous. 

The host set your menus down on the table of a booth, and you and Harry both slipped into the opposite benches. You tried your best to focus on narrowing down what you wanted, but this was an unusual circumstance. Never once were you asked by your boss to go to breakfast just the two of you, and as appreciative as you were that Harry had asked you, it was unfamiliar territory.

“Do you see something that you think you’d want?” Harry spoke up after a few minutes, and you flashed your eyes up to him over the top of your menu to see that his were already on you. “If not, we can go somewhere else.”

His need to make sure you were constantly comfortable was so foreign that you could hardly wrap your head around it. You realized it had been a few moments since he had asked his question, and you had remained silent. “Oh no,” you shook your head before clearing your throat. “This is perfect. I see a couple things that are peaking my interest actually.”

Harry smiled at you, and you felt a fluttering in your lower stomach. “Get whatever you’d like.”

It was only a few minutes later that a server came over to the table, and Harry ordered a carafe of coffee for the two of you, as well as two waters before extending his hand over to you - asking you silently to order your food first.

“I’ll take the breakfast sampler, please,” you stated, looking over everything that came on it so you didn’t miss any of the options. “I’ll take one sausage and one bacon with that, sunny side up eggs with white buttered toast and hashbrown casserole, please.”

Handing your menu off to the server, you turned your attention back to Harry. His eyes were darting over the laminated paper in his hand before he looked to the server. “You know what? I’ll do the same please, but instead of the sausage and bacon, could I have a bowl of fruit with that?”

The server nodded, taking Harry’s menu as well before walking away from the table.

“For a second I thought you were going to break your vegetarian status,” you said playfully as you leaned forward onto the table - intertwining your fingers together.

Harry mimicked your actions, and you caught sight of the cross tattoo on his hand. You knew he had another right along his wrist as you could see glimpses of the ink sometimes, but you always wanted to ask him if he had any others. 

“As much as I do miss bacon, I’ve been going strong for too many years to break it now,” he smirked, and you were slowly feeling more comfortable with the one on one time together.

You weren’t a nervous individual by nature, to be honest, however, you did tend to be particularly quiet. You’re sure a lot of that had to do with the fact that’s what was asked of you for the past four years. Once conversation struck, and you were interested, you could hold a proper interaction.

“Didn’t mean to tempt you,” you giggled before biting down on your bottom lip.

Harry noticed that was something you must do subconsciously, but he found it alluring. 

The server came back with your two waters, two mugs and the carafe of coffee - setting it all down on the table alongside sugar packets and cream. You and Harry both went to reach for the carafe, fingers brushing against each other, and you pulled your hand back quickly.

“Sorry,” you muttered, dropping your hands into your lap, but Harry held that coy half smile as he poured you each a cup of coffee.

“How do you take yours?” Harry asked, as he set the carafe towards the end of the table against the wall to have it out of the way.

“Two sugars and just a splash of cream, please.”

Your eyes were fixed on his every move as you watched him pour the contents into the mug before he pushed it over your way. He pulled his own mugs towards him - not putting anything in it, as always. 

“Thank you,” both of your hands cupped the warm mug, and you fought off a hum at just how wonderful the heat felt against your palms.

The hustle and bustle of the diner blanketed over the two of you, and for a minute your attention was caught by just how quickly all the servers were moving around to make sure everything was getting taken care of in a timely manner.

“Y/N,” Harry saying your name caught your attention, and you looked back over to him. “Can I ask you a question?”

Your eyebrows furrowed before you gave him a nod. “Yeah, of course.”

“Have I done something to make you not like me?” Harry asked, tilting his head to the side.

Your eyes widened at his question, and you quickly shook your head. “No, not at all! Why would you think that?”

“Well, I never see you.”

You were caught so off guard. Him not seeing you made him think you didn’t like him? You thought you were doing him a favor by not being an interruption. 

“Well, I just thought that maybe Mr. Crawford had talked to you before he left, and maybe you wanted me to keep doing things the way he liked,” you explained.

“Which was?”

It was then you realized that Mr. Crawford didn’t tell Harry at all about how he really didn’t want you being present around him. It was a bit shocking to you that he wouldn’t have mentioned that, considering a lot of businessmen had that preference, and it seemed to be a little hard to find assistants who would obey that rule so well. 

“He didn’t really like seeing me,” you shrugged. “Or hearing me either. That’s why I always have your coffee, schedule and any documents you may need to take care of on your desk and ready to go before you’re there. It’s also why your lunch is delivered while you’re in your late morning meeting.”

An expression you really couldn’t make out rested on Harry’s face, and since he didn’t speak, you continued.

“If I had to run things to his house after work, I’d use my key to let myself in, drop off whatever he needed, and regardless of whether or not he or his wife were home, I would be in and out. It took a little while to get used to, but once I did, it was easy.”

You watched as Harry lifted a hand to run it through the front of his curls, and you forced yourself to look away from the flex of his bicep as he did so. “God, Y/N, I’m so sorry. I had no idea that’s how you had to do things when he was around. I can promise you that’s not how you have to be with me.”

Slipping your eyes shut, you couldn’t help but let out a small sigh of relief. “Oh, thank god,” you giggled before looking at him again. “It was easier with him because I had his routine down. I was guessing every day with you.”

Harry’s heart skipped a beat at the sound of your giggle. It was hard for him to believe someone couldn’t want you to work around them and do your job properly. From the little bits of you he had been able to see, you seemed like the perfect employee. 

“So with that being said,” Harry started. “I’d like my morning cup of coffee after I’ve arrived at the office.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but Harry held up a finger to stop you. “And I’d like to prepare it myself in the kitchen with you, as you prepare your own. Then from there, we can go back to my office, and you can walk me through the meeting schedule for the day. You don’t have to worry about ordering me lunch anymore, I can take care of that myself.”

“What about your afternoon cup of coffee?” You blurted out, making Harry smile even wider than he already was.

“Can I be honest with you?” He waited for you to nod before proceeding. “I was only drinking about a quarter of it before dumping it out. Coffee that late in the day would keep me wired all night.”

“Mr. Styles,” you gasped, jaw dropping. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It seemed a bit impolite, you know? I felt bad that you had gone through the trouble of making it for me, and I didn’t want to just waste it. It also felt wrong to tell you to stop when I thought it was something you enjoyed doing for me.”

You wanted to respond again, but the server was back - placing the appropriate sampler in front of the two of you. You both thanked them as they walked off, and you shook your head as you reviewed the newfound information from him in your head.

“Mr. Styles, I-”

“Y/N.”

“Yes?” You looked at him as he sent you one of the most gentle looks you’ve ever seen.

“You can call me Harry.”

ꕤ • ꕤ • ꕤ • ꕤ

In the few months that followed your breakfast “meeting” with Harry, the two of you developed a really great work relationship. The truth was, the two of you knew that this was a full on friendship as well at this point, but keeping things professional was necessary. If you texted after hours, it was about work only, and if you saw each other outside of the office, it was at work oriented events.

Regardless of that, you each had gotten in the habit of doing little things here and there for each other. You never made a big deal about it, neither of you would tell the other it was you who did it, but you both just knew. 

The first time Harry did something unexpected for you was about a month after your new work agreement. That morning you had noticed that the pink peonies you had in your vase on your desk were on their last leg, and you frowned as you tossed them into the trash. 

“Maybe this time I can get yellow ones,” you had told Stella, the assistant who worked at the desk right next to yours. “I wanted them the first time around, but they were all out.”

That afternoon when you came back from having lunch with Stella, you saw that your vase was full of yellow peonies. Your mouth gaped as you raced over to them, running the tips of your fingers over the soft petals. It was then you caught sight of Harry leaning against the doorway of his office out of the corner of your eye, and you looked over to him. He tucked his hands into his pockets as he gave you a smile, and you stared into his eyes as you gave him a knowing one back.

A couple of weeks ago you walked into the office on a Monday after having a relaxing weekend of self-care, and as you met Harry in the kitchen for your usual cups of coffee, you watched his eyes light up as he took you in. “You got your hair done,” he said, grinning from ear to ear.

“You noticed?” You couldn’t help but laugh when you asked. You were so surprised.

“Yeah,” he nodded, the tip of his tongue running over his bottom lip. “It looks really good, Y/N.”

You had blushed furiously that day that you were surprised you didn’t combust into flames.

The vibe between the two of you had floated over into flirting territory probably more times than it should, but you both were responsible enough not to take it any further. Sometimes the flirting involved little remarks, or long glances, and even sometimes Harry would take your breath away with a small squeeze to your hip as he moved behind you to reach for something.

You both felt incredibly comfortable around each other, but regardless of that, you had turned Harry’s invitation down for dinner at his house a couple of times. He would only ever offer when you would come by his house after work to drop something off for him, or when you needed to pick something up to be delivered over the weekend. As much as you wanted to tell him yes, you knew it wasn’t a good idea. The last thing either of you needed was someone finding out that you were spending personal time outside of work. 

Of course he was the CEO, the one calling most of the shots, but he still had his own people to answer to. You didn’t want to get the two of you in trouble, and Harry didn’t either - that’s why he understood every time you would decline. No matter how many times you had rejected the offer, Harry couldn’t find it in himself to stop asking, and part of him hoped that one day would give in.

Harry had noticed so many little things about you during the time you had spent together. The way you ate crunchy cheetos with chopsticks so you didn’t get your fingers dirty while working was adorable to him, and he picked up on the way you would slightly scrunch up your nose when you were working on a spreadsheet that was proving to be troublesome. 

He noticed the way you came into work each week with a different color of polish coating your impeccably manicured nails. When you told him that you did them yourself one day when he complimented the small polka dot designs you had adorning each of your ring fingers, he was floored. He had become completely infatuated with your presence - if he was going to be completely honest. 

That’s why as he stood at the bar with a pint in his hand and his eyes set on you speaking with a man he didn’t recognize, he felt an uneasiness in his stomach. The office had gone out for drinks at the usual spot on a Friday afternoon to celebrate an easy and successful week, and most of the time you were attached to Harry’s hip, however, there seemed to be a law firm that was also occupying said bar.

You had been speaking to this same man for about fifteen minutes now, and Harry watched as he moved slightly closer to you over time. You weren’t a very big drinker, Harry knew that. You’d always have one cocktail while out with everyone, and you’d sip on it the entire time - finishing it up just a few minutes before you’d announce you were leaving.

So, when Harry saw the man gesturing to your drink, clearly asking if you’d like another, his hand tensed around his cold glass before he brought it up to take a large swig of his beer.

He saw that you politely declined, and luckily the man honored it and didn't push. If he had, there’d be a serious problem.

For the remaining hour that you both were at the bar, Harry had managed to get himself properly wasted. It made him sick to watch you openly flirt with some else when all he wanted to do was to be able to do that with you. 

It wasn’t until you walked over to the bar to stand next to Stella for a moment to pay your tab that the man walked back over to his friends. Harry watched him closely, and his stomach churned as he watched the way the man tapped each of his colleagues and pointed at you. The men surrounding him, both younger and older, eyed you up and down like a piece of meat. 

Harry quickly asked to pay his tab, scribbling a hefty tip and his signature on the receipt just in time as he saw you walking back over to the asshole who had every ounce of your attention. After what Harry had just seen him do, there was no way he was going to let you leave with him.

Just as the man was beginning to ask for just your number, Harry practically stumbled up next to you, and your eyes widened as you quickly wrapped an arm around his torso - having him fully lean into your side.

“Harry, you alright?” You asked with narrowed brows.

As you studied him, you could see that he was more drunk than you had ever seen him. Hell, you had really only seen him tipsy before. This was extremely out of the ordinary for him.

“Yeah, ‘m alright,” he slurred just slightly, but he still managed to stay poised. “Jus’ wanted to come and check on you.”

Your eyes flitted over to the man, and you sent him a weak smile. “This your boyfriend?” The man asked, and you heard Harry try to stifle a laugh in the back of his throat before you saw a look take over his eyes - as if a light switch had gone off.

“Actually, I am,” Harry nodded, and your lips parted at that response. “I am Y/N’s boyfriend, and if you’ll excuse us, I think it’s time we went home.”

The man scoffed, and Harry watched as his eyes now looked over you with disgust. “Pretty cheap of you to flirt with me for the past hour when your boyfriend’s in the same building, but I guess I kind of understand if he gets this wasted and ignores you all night.”

“Hey, that’s enough!” You snapped, speaking up before Harry had a chance to - even though his mouth was open to do so. His body was clearly working on a delayed system. “You don’t get to speak about him like you know him. You don’t know him at all.”

Shaking your head, you tightened your arm around Harry’s waist as he threw one of his around your shoulders, and as you began to walk away, Harry turned his head to look at the man with a smirk.

“Oh, and one more thing!” You spoke up as you turned around, talking a bit louder so the man could hear you over the music, causing the attention from some of the other patrons to be on you. “Your cologne fucking reeks - smells like a cat pissed all over your suit.”

Harry’s eyes widened, and he let out the loudest cackle you had heard within your time together as you pushed open the front door to the bar. As you headed down the street, you could barely walk in a straight line due to having your tall British boss clinging to your side.

“I’m gonna drive you home, okay?” You told him as you approached your car that was parallel parked on the street. Using your free hand, you fished your keys from your purse and unlocked the car before helping Harry into the passenger seat.

Once he was good and buckled, you shut the door and rounded over to your side. You slipped inside and turned on the car as you felt Harry’s eyes lingering on the side of your face. 

“Let me know if you’re going to get sick or something, alright? I’ve never seen you drink this much before,” you commented as you pulled out of your spot and started down the roads towards his house.

Harry didn’t live too far from here, probably around five minutes maximum, so you really didn’t mind taking him home.

“Yeah, but ‘m not gonna get sick. I have an iron stomach,” Harry stated as he patted his palm against his covered abdomen. “Haven’t puked from drinking in years.”

The car ride was silent except for the light music playing on the radio, and at first you thought Harry had fallen asleep, but when you glanced over, he was just staring at his hands in his lap. 

Once you pulled into his driveway, you got out and went over to his side to assist him - supporting him in almost every way as you stepped up onto his porch. You got his keys out of his suit jacket to unlock the door before the two of you were heading inside.

“Didn’t like that guy talking to you,” Harry mumbled as you tossed his keys into the bowl on the table near the door.

“Oh, really? I couldn’t tell,” you laughed sarcastically. You weren’t irritated by any means, but it was all just a little confusing to you why he was acting that way. “Called yourself my boyfriend.”

Harry hummed as he nodded, as you started up his stairs to where you knew his bedroom was. “I could be, you know?”

“What?” You looked over at him quickly, stopping the progress you were making on the stairs.

You soon realized that was a big mistake as Harry started to sway, and your eyes widened as you started leaning backwards. “Okay, hey!” You exclaimed, pulling him forward again before continuing to walk. “About sent us down the damn stairs, Harry.”

“I said, I could be your boyfriend,” Harry repeated himself, completely ignoring the almost tumble once you got him into his bedroom.

“Alright, big guy,” you couldn’t help but let out an actual giggle now as you patted him on the chest. “I’m going to lay you out some pajamas, and you’re going to change while I go downstairs and get you some medicine and some water. Then I’m gonna get you tucked in and leave.”

“I mean it,” Harry’s eyebrows narrowed, clearly offended even in his drunken state that you weren’t taking him seriously. “I like you, Y/N. You’re so beautiful, and you’re bright - you light up a whole room when you walk into it.”

Never once did you know that’s how he felt, but you obviously couldn’t be sure given his current alcohol level. “Harry,” you said softly as you guided him to sit on the end of his bed. “We can talk about this more when you’re sober, alright?”

You almost felt guilty. If this really was how he felt, you were sure this wouldn’t be the type of situation for him to tell you. You knew how Harry was just from the little things he had done for you over your time together. He was sentimental, and he treasured when things were genuine. This isn’t how he would want this to go.

“No, no,” Harry reached forward to wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you into him which caused you to gasp. He rested his forehead against your stomach, but you kept your arms limp by your sides. “The thing is, ‘m too much of a coward to tell you when I’m sober. Never been so intimidated by someone in my life.”

You? Intimidating?

Yeah, he was definitely letting the pints and shots he had do the talking.

“Look, I can initiate the conversation next time we see each other that way we can ease into it, but you’re going to regret doing this right now.”

Lifting his head, Harry stared up at you with his droopy green eyes. He moved one hand to rest on your hip, while his other just barely reached to wrap around the back of your neck. “Thought about kissing you,” his lips rolled into his mouth for just a moment before continuing to speak. “Think about it all the time.”

The truth was, you had thought about kissing him too, and you’re sure if you were the one spilling your guts right now, you’d use the same phrasing - you thought about it all the time.

“Come on, H,” the nickname you rarely used slipped from your mouth as you tried to calm him down a bit more. “Let me get you some pajamas so you can change.”

You wrapped your hands around each of his wrists to break his hold on you, and you walked over to his dresser to pull out a pair of joggers and a shirt. 

By the time you turned around, Harry was on his back still fully clothed with his mouth wide open. In the twenty seconds it had taken you to get him proper pajamas, he had passed out.

“You’ve gotta be joking,” you mumbled as you walked back over to him, tossing the pajamas onto the top of the dresser before doing so.

Lowering yourself to the ground, you untied each of his shoes and slipped them off of his feet before tossing them to the side. You stood up, tugging his body around so you could at least get his suit jacket off. Unfortunately, the rest of it would be staying on. You didn’t feel comfortable changing him without his permission as this situation had never happened before.

With every bit of strength you could muster up, you pulled Harry further back onto the bed so that his head was on one of his pillows, and you tucked him underneath the sheets. 

You went downstairs to grab the glass of water that you had talked about before, as well as two Tylenol and a granola bar. Going up to his bedroom one last time, you placed all the items onto his nightstand, and retrieved his phone out of his jacket pocket to plug it in before you exited the house all together.

You weren’t sure if Harry was going to remember this evening or not. And you weren’t really sure if you wanted him to.

ꕤ • ꕤ • ꕤ • ꕤ

“Y/N, are you almost ready?” You heard Harry’s voice, followed by a tapping of knuckles against your hotel room door.

You and Harry were out of town for a work event, and you were just putting the finishing touches on your look, however, you hadn’t been able to put your dress on yet as you just finished curling your hair.

Making sure that your robe was tied securely around you, you walked over to the door and opened it - your jaw immediately dropping as you saw how delicious Harry looked in his suit.

“Oh my,” you gasped before you could stop yourself, but once your eyes met his, you cleared your throat. “You look spectacular, Harry.”

You could see a pink tint washing over his cheeks, and it was then you noticed the garment bag he had draped over the crease of one of his arms.

“Thank you,” he smiled before tilting his chin towards the bag. “I know you probably brought your own dress, but I saw this the other day when I picked up my suit, and it reminded me of you.”

You watched as he extended the garment bag to you, and you shook your head. “Harry, I don’t know if I could-”

“Please, Y/N, it would mean a lot to me if you’d wear it. If you don’t like it though, you don’t have to.”

You wanted to ask how he knew your size, but you figured he made a mental note when taking your dress to the dry cleaners that one day. 

Sucking in a deep breath, you took the bag from him. “I just need to change and then I’m ready to go.”

Harry nodded. “Take all the time you need. I’ll wait for you down in the lobby. Do you want me to order you a quick drink?”

“That’s okay,” you shook your head. “I’ll have a drink at the event.”

Harry knew that would probably be the only one you’d have for the evening given your track record. “Well, I’ll leave you to it.”

You kept your eyes on Harry’s retreating frame as he walked down the hotel hallway, and you sighed as you shut the door.

It had been a few weeks since Harry’s confession after the bar. When you saw him at work on Monday, he apologized profusely for how drunk he had gotten, but he also thanked you for getting him home. You didn’t want to just flat out ask if he remembered what happened by reciting exactly what he said, so you asked him if he remembered almost pulling the both of you down the stairs instead.

That’s when he confessed he didn’t remember a thing after approaching you at the bar. Since he didn’t remember anything, you decided that you’d leave it. It was probably for the best anyway, and you didn’t want to embarrass him.

But the truth was, Harry lied.

He remembered everything, which shocked him given how drunk he was, and he was so ashamed of himself. He couldn’t believe that he rambled to you about how he felt, how he wanted to be your boyfriend. Not to mention he spilled that he thought about kissing you all the time.

Harry knew it was wrong to lie to you, considering it wasn’t like you could forget what happened. Technically neither could he, but at least he could act like he did.

The fact that you accepted the dress made him happy. There had been a weight in his chest since everything happened because things didn’t feel like they used to between the two of you, and he had no one to blame for that by himself. He didn’t lie about how he came to find the dress though. He really did see it in the window a couple shops down from where he got his suit. He just hoped that you liked it.

Leaning against the bar in the lobby, Harry had ordered himself a short glass of tequila on the rocks - just something to ease his nerves as he waited for you. He was hoping the fact that it was just the two of you on this trip that things could go back to the way they were. You were here together for the weekend, just arriving today and then heading home Monday morning.

He missed the playful banter between the two of you, but most of all, he missed your giggles. He had only heard one or two since that night, and it was eating away at him that he was the reason they went away.

Just as he was sipping the rest of his drink, he heard the clicking of heels against the tiled floor of the lobby, and he turned to look towards the elevators.

Harry thought he was going to fall through the floor just at the sight of you in that dress. He watched as your eyes searched around before falling onto him, and you sent him a small smile as you started to make your way over. 

“Wow, Y/N,” Harry met you halfway, having finished off his drink and already paid his tab. “You're stunning.”

You knew you were blushing due to his compliment, so you tried your best to change the subject off of your appearance.

“Let’s just hope I make it through the night without breaking an ankle in these heels,” you joked, causing a soft laugh to leave Harry.

“I’ll make sure you’re steady on your feet, don’t worry.”

You each took a moment to take each other in once more before Harry was extending his arm out to you. “Shall we? The car is waiting out front for us.”

Your eyes dwelled on his arm for a moment before you closed the gap between the two of you completely, cupping the crease of his elbow as he started to lead you towards the doors of the hotel.

Once outside, the driver opened the back door of the car, and when he went to extend his hand for you to take for assistance while getting in, Harry made it a point to stand right in front of him and offer you his hand instead. You couldn’t fight the small smirk that pushed its way forward, and you took Harry’s hand before entering the back seat.

You slid all the way over, watching as Harry got in right behind you, and the driver shut the door.

“Didn’t want him holding my hand?” You asked, raising a brow.

Harry rubbed his hand along the back of his neck before shrugging. “I guess not.”

It reminded you of him saying he didn’t like that man talking to you at the bar, and for some reason, the thought of him being jealous over you caused a new feeling to ignite in your stomach.

Did it turn you on?

You were drawn out of your thoughts as you heard the driver’s side door shut, and you started off towards the event venue.

“Nervous?” You questioned, knowing this was Harry’s first big event since taking on his position.

“A little bit, yeah.”

But not because of the event. He was nervous because of you.

“Me too,” you confessed, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I haven’t been to an event like this in a while. I’d come along with Mr. Crawford, but I’d stay at the hotel.”

Harry’s brows narrowed. “He didn’t allow you to accompany him?”

“No, not seen and not heard, remember?” You shrugged. “It’s okay though. I used to just order a bunch of room service, or I’d pay the hotel spa a little visit. He covered all the expenses which was the silver lining.”

“But still. That’s awful to make you travel all this way for you not to be able to participate in the main reason for coming.”

“To be honest, I probably would’ve had a terrible time. He was no fun,” you laughed softly, causing a small smile to grace Harry’s lips. “Not like you.”

“You think I’m fun?” Harry tilted his head to the side playfully.

“Definitely the most fun boss I’ve ever had. But I’ve only had one other than Mr. Crawford, and that was when I worked at a clothing store,” you joked.

“You wanna know a secret?” Harry asked.

Your stomach swirled a little bit at his question, but you nodded. “Sure.”

“I’ve never been a boss before. I wasn’t CEO at my last office even though I was practically doing the job. The other guy just got to be the face for all my hard work.”

“Oh my god, Harry, that’s awful,” you shook your head. “That’s seriously messed up.”

“It was, but I would’ve never left had I actually been the CEO, therefore, I would’ve never met you,” the words slipped from Harry’s mouth before he could process, and you watched as his eyes widened.

His slip up caused your heart to flutter, but you couldn’t allow yourself to get too giddy over it. Harry made it clear that his confession that one night was just drunk rambling, so it was clear your affection wasn’t reciprocated in the same manner.

“Very true,” you decided to finally respond after a moment. “I could’ve had another Mr. Crawford if it weren’t for you.”

The conversation came to an end as you approached the venue, and Harry got out of the car first - extending his hand out just like he had when you got in. You took it, and once you were out of the car, he offered you his arm just like he had back at the hotel, and your hand once again made its home in the crease of his elbow.

The two of you walked into the building, and when you saw just how many people there were, you subconsciously curled yourself into Harry’s side a little more.

“Lots of people, yeah?” Harry asked, and he turned his head to look down at you. Even with your heels, he still stood taller.

Biting down your bottom lip, the two of you ran your eyes over each other's faces before you answered. “Mhmm.”

You noticed the way that Harry’s eyes focused in on your mouth, and for the first time, you wished he’d actually kiss you. You wanted nothing more than to feel his lips against yours, but you knew it was wishful thinking.

“Mr. Styles!” The call of his name caused the two of you to separate, and you looked over to see the investor who had invited you to this event. “And Y/N, you look amazing.”

The man placed his hand on your hip, and leaned in to press a kiss against your cheek. Your eyes flitted over to Harry as he did so, and you could see his fists flexing by his side.

“Nice to see you again, Mr. Noble,” you said once he pulled away from you. “Thank you again for the invitation.”

“Of course, Harry here was also very insistent that you be joining him, even though it was already my intention to have you here.”

You could see Harry’s cheeks flush as Mr. Noble spoke, and you knew that wasn’t necessarily something he wanted you to know.

“Well still, I appreciate it very much.”

Mr. Noble nodded before extending his hand behind him. “Bar is all the way in the back, and there’s servers walking around with hor-d’oeuvres, so please, help yourselves.”

Once he walked away, you looked over to Harry. “Should we get ourselves some drinks?”

“Sure,” Harry placed his hand along your lower back as you made your way through the sea of people.

Just the smallest touch from him could warrant butterflies flying in your tummy, and as much as you loved it, you also hated it. You hated it because you knew those butterflies would never lead to anything. Sometimes you wondered if you’d be stuck with this stupid crush on your boss forever.

“What would you like to drink?” Harry asked you once you approached the bar, and you knew you needed something strong to ease your mind.

“I’ll take a whiskey on the rocks.”

Harry’s eyebrows raised at that, and part of him wanted to question you about it, but he decided against it.

“A tequila on the rocks, and a whiskey on the rocks, please,” he spoke to the bartender for the two of you, and you turned your attention to the floor of people conversing around you.

It wasn’t until you felt the side of Harry’s finger gliding against the outside of your arm that you looked back to him, and you saw he was extending your drink out to you.

“Thank you.”

You took it from him, taking a large sip to start which caused you to wince.

“Everything okay?” Harry’s face showed his concern.

“Just a lot of people,” you repeated his observation from earlier, and even though Harry didn’t believe you, he let it be.

“Ladies and gentlemen, dinner will be served in ten minutes!” The announcement rang overhead, and you felt Harry’s hand against your back once more.

“We should find our seats.”

ꕤ • ꕤ • ꕤ • ꕤ

You ended up having another whiskey, which Harry knew was extremely unusual for you, and it caused him to worry. Even though you still seemed just fine, he didn’t want you overdoing it. You had mentioned to him once that you didn’t like the feeling of being drunk, and that’s why you only ever stuck to one drink.

The event had wrapped up, and you and Harry found yourselves back in the lobby of your hotel.

“Feeling okay?” Harry checked in on you as he pressed the up button for the elevator, and you nodded.

“Just fine,” you answered, which was the truth.

The extra drink didn’t have you feeling very different, it was just helping you calm those nerves that had been wracking your system for the past few hours.

As you both stepped into the elevator, you ran your hands over your dress which had you realizing you hadn’t thanked Harry for buying it for you.

“This dress is so beautiful, Harry,” you told him, and he looked over at you as you did. “Thank you for buying it for me. I know it must have been expensive.”

Harry waved his hand in the air softly while the other stayed tucked into his pocket. “I didn’t even think about that when buying it for you. Just saw it and knew you had to have it.”

“It’s probably the prettiest piece of clothing I own now,” you laughed, which brought a smile to his face.

The elevator doors opened, and you both started towards your rooms which were right next to each other. After fishing your room key out of your clutch, you turned to face Harry for a moment.

“I had a really good time this evening. I hope that you did too.”

“I did,” Harry nodded. “It was nice seeing them raise all that money for charity, and I was happy to be a part of it.”

Part of you hoped he would have complimented the company he had instead of just speaking about work, but you didn’t know why you had expected that to begin with. 

He’s your boss. That’s all. 

You had thought for a moment there that it was maybe leading to something more, but with the way Harry had been acting ever since the night you took him home, you knew that was no longer the case.

“Well, goodnight,” you said softly, forcing a smile on your lips before swiping your key and entering your room. 

Your mood was officially deflated, and you hated that you felt that way. You had no right to. You indulged too far into the fantasy you had created in your head. You had no one to blame for that but yourself.

Sighing, you tossed your clutch onto the dresser with your room key before heading into the bathroom. You reached your hands behind you to pull down the zipper, but it wasn’t budging.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” you huffed as you turned and looked over your shoulder in the mirror so you could properly see the zipper, and it was then you noticed it was caught on the fabric of your dress.

You closed your eyes as you took in a deep breath as the realization that you were going to have to ask Harry for help dawned on you.

Grabbing your room key, you walked out of your room and over to his door. You had your fist raised above the wooden surface for a few seconds before you finally found the courage to knock. At first you didn’t hear anything, and you thought maybe he was in the shower and couldn’t hear you. You couldn’t bring yourself to knock again, in case he had heard it and was ignoring you, but just as you turned to walk back to your room, you heard the door open.

You looked over to see him standing in the doorway, and you couldn’t help but drop your jaw as you saw that he was just wearing a pair of joggers low on his hips. 

Your eyes ran over the ink that was etched into his skin, particularly the ones that draped over his hips, and the large butterfly on his stomach.

“I-I’m sorry,” you stammered, clearing your throat once you forced yourself to look at only his eyes. “My…my zipper. It’s caught.”

Harry’s eyebrows knitted together as he stepped to the side. “Come on in - let me have a look.”

You walked into his room, and you glanced into the bathroom to see that his toiletry bag was open.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” you stated, figuring he was just about to get in the shower.

“Nonsense, Y/N, you’re not bothering me. There’s no need to apologize. Turn around so I can see.”

Swallowing harshly, you turned around and brought all your hair over one of your shoulders so he had proper access to the zipper. You soon felt his hands on you, one cupping your ribcage while the other fiddled with the zipper.

“Oh, I see,” he mumbled, and you knew he was mostly talking to himself.

His hand gave your ribcage a small squeeze before he brought it up to meet the other one. You felt a bit of tugging for a few seconds before the sound of the zipper being pulled down filled your ears, and you felt the dress loosening against your torso.

“There you go,” Harry whispered, and you felt his fingertips dancing along the tops of your shoulders.

You kept your back to him, looking at him over your shoulder as you licked over your bottom lip. By the look in his eyes, you could tell he was pondering over something, and you couldn��t seem to stop yourself before speaking.

“Are you thinking of kissing me?”

Harry’s lips parted at your words, and you held a hand up against the top of your dress to keep it in place as you turned to face him.

“You told me you think about it all the time that night,” you told him, and you could feel your heart pounding against your ribcage. “And I should have told you that I think about it too.”

Stepping forward, Harry got rid of all the space between the two of you as he brought a hand up to cradle your chin in his palm. “Y/N, please don’t be playing with me.”

You shook your head as you let your freehand glide over the forearm of the hand connected to your face. “I’m not, Harry. I know it’s wrong, and that we’d be stepping over a line, but I can’t help it. I’m so enamored by you.”

Your breath caught in your throat as Harry moved his face forward, but you felt him tilting your head to the side - giving him full access to one of the sides of your neck. His lips grazed your skin, and as little as the contact was, you couldn’t stop the moan that left you.

“Please,” you pleaded, wrapping your hand around his wrist and giving it a squeeze. “Please, Harry.”

It was then that his lips fully connected to your neck, and he kissed his way down over the top of your shoulder. Your fingers dented his skin as he then made his way back up to your jawline. “Tell me what you want, Y/N.”

“You,” it came out as a whine unintentionally, but you couldn’t help it. You were a woman blinded by your want for him. “I need you.”

All time stood still as Harry’s mouth finally met yours - causing you to let out a small gasp. He took this as an invitation to seal his lips around your bottom one, and he lightly sucked it into his mouth. Another moan left you, and it was then you moved your hand from your chest - your dress falling to the ground around your heeled feet as you pressed your body against his.

Harry’s hands then grazed down your body until they met the rounds of your ass, kneading them softly before he dropped them lower to the back of your thighs. He was then lifting you off the ground, and you wrapped your legs around his waist - ankles crossed along his lower back as he walked you over to his bed, and you kicked your heels off your feet.

He laid you down gently right in the middle of the bed, and you finally opened your eyes to see him hovering over you. His eyes were drinking you, and you could tell he was admiring your breasts as they heaved up and down from the deep breaths you had to remind yourself to take. His cross pendant swung back and forth before resting against your chest when he leaned down to place another sweltering kiss on your mouth.

You couldn’t believe this was happening. Something that you had imagined in your mind for so long was now becoming a reality.

Your hands trembled as you brought them up to rest on his pecs, and you could feel that his heart was pounding just as hard as yours.

“Y/N, I have to tell you something,” Harry pulled away from your lips with a soft smack, and you couldn’t help but panic at his words. “I lied.”

You waited a moment before speaking. “You lied about what?”

“That night. I do remember confessing everything to you, but I was so embarrassed that it felt better for me to act like I had forgotten it. I was so nervous that I had ruined everything, and I thought lying would make things okay. I was wrong for doing that.”

“And you meant what you said?”

Harry nodded. “Meant every fucking word. I’m crazy about you.”

This time you initated the kiss as you wrapped one of your hands around the back of his neck, and you brought his mouth down against yours once more.

Your other hand journeyed down his chiseled chest to the waistband of his joggers, and you tugged at them - signaling that you wanted them off. Your eyes were closed as you felt him moving around, but they shot open when you could feel his hard length resting against your stomach. You had expected him to be wearing underwear.

Disconnecting your mouths, you looked down to see his cock - hard and leaking against your skin.

“Sorry,” he blushed furiously as you briefly looked up at him before looking back down. “I’m just so turned on right now. I’ve thought about this for so long.”

“Me too,” you nodded, running your tongue along your cheek before you reached down to wrap your hand around his shaft.

Keeping your eyes on his face, you watched as Harry’s eyes fluttered shut, and his breathing deepened once you began to work your hand over him. “Feels so good.”

“Yeah?” You let your hand leave him for just a second to spit into your palm before you started your movements right back up. “Can’t even fit my hand around you, Harry. You’re so big.”

Your dirty talk shocked him. For someone so quiet and reserved in the office, you sure did have a way of speaking in the bedroom.

“Pretty little hand just squeezing me, hm?” Harry knew he could dish it right back to you - the thought of the two of you going back and forth causing another blurt of precome to drip from his leaky slit. “I could come just from this, to be honest. Fucked my fist so many times thinking about you. Felt wrong to moan your name, but I couldn’t help it.”

“Thought about me while touching yourself?” You earned a nod from Harry in response. “Thought about you too when I’d have my toy sucking on my clit. I always pictured it was your perfect lips playing with me. I would moan your name too. I had to. I could only get off when thinking of you.”

“Who knew you were so dirty?” Harry chuckled, pressing his tongue against the inside of his bottom lip. “You’re so fucking sexy, Y/N. My little minx.”

You couldn’t help but giggle at that, but you nodded as well. “Just yours. Only want to be yours.”

Your hand began to work him faster, and you moved your free hand down to swipe your fingers along the precome that was continuously dripping onto your stomach. Harry’s eyes were glued to your every move, and you bit down on your bottom lip as you smeared his arousal over his lips before slipping your fingers between your own.

“So yummy,” you commented as you held his eyes. “I can’t wait to taste all of you.”

“Fuck,” Harry groaned before licking over his lips. “You’re going to make me come.”

“Please,” you mimicked your plea from earlier. “I want it all over my tummy.”

“Want me painting your skin with my come?”

“Again, I need you to,” you moved your legs around to where one of Harry’s toned thighs was pressed right against your covered cunt.

You began to rock your hips back and forth, a hardy moan flooding out of your throat as you did so. Your clit was throbbing - begging for attention as your hand continued to glide up and down Harry’s prick.

“Oh my god,” Harry gasped, and you looked up just in time to see his eyes shutting again with a slack jaw. “For fuck’s sake.”

It was then you felt his come shooting out, coating your stomach and even reaching up to your breasts as you rode him through his orgasm. Once you knew he was finished, you couldn’t help but tighten your hand once more, and you watched as you milked another string of come from him.

“Jesus, Y/N,” Harry dropped his forehead against you, but he kept his torso hovering yours.

Still mesmerized by his load on your stomach, you didn’t even notice his hand had slipped between your legs until you felt his fingers gliding through your drenched folds - your underwear tenting around his hand.

“Oh,” you whimpered, tossing your head back. “Feels good.”

“Barely touching you, baby,” Harry chuckled as he used his index and middle fingers to spread you apart - the pad of his thumb pressing down against your pulsing clit.

You moaned as he began to move his digit in circles, and your eyes followed him as he leaned down. Sticking out his tongue, he licked over your nipples, cleaning up his come as he sucked on them. It caused you to clench down around nothing, and you could feel yourself growing wetter by the second.

“Yes,” you gasped as his teeth grazed against the pebbled bud.

“Like having your little nipples played with, honey?” Harry asked, smirking up at you. “Pretty little things they are. I knew they would be. Pretty nipples, and a pretty pink pussy. Never seen something as pretty as you in my life.”

“And I’ve never seen something as pretty as you,” you breathed as he started giving attention to your other nipple as well.

Soon his mouth had worked to clean all of his come off of your skin, and it was then that he moved his hand around to have his middle and ring fingers slipping inside of your welcoming entrance while his other hand pulled your underwear off.

“Christ, Y/N,” Harry groaned, shaking his head. “You’re so fucking tight.”

“It’s been a while,” you confessed as you bucked your hips up against his hand - feeling the heel of his palm against your clit.

“How long?” Harry began to move his fingers with more purpose, and you choked as a moan got stuck in your throat.

“Three…three years.”

Harry’s movement stilled, evoking a whine from you as you snaked your hips around.

“You’re serious?”

“Yes,” you swallowed, using this little pause to try and catch your breath. “Haven’t had anyone since my last boyfriend. I don’t go out much, and I don’t like dating apps. I haven’t really had the opportunity to meet anyone.”

Harry leaned down to massage his lips against yours briefly before pulling back - knocking his nose against yours. “I’m about to give your the best fucking of your life, you understand?”

Another moan left you at his words, and you nodded. “Please.”

Harry’s fingers left you, and he got off the bed to walk over to his wallet on top of the dresser. You watched as he retrieved the square foil package from it before he climbed back onto the bed over you.

“You’re sure about this?” Harry asked. “This…this changes everything.”

“I’m sure,” you reached up to wrap your arms around his neck. “I’ve wanted you for so long, Harry. I know that I want this.”

“I’ve wanted you too, Y/N. You have no idea how badly.”

You heard the sound of the package opening, and you looked down to watch Harry roll the rubber over his length - him having grown fully hard once again.

“Ready?” Harry lined himself up with your entrance, and you felt his head pressing just lightly against your fluttering hole.

“Yes, yes. Please, fuck me.”

With the angling of his hips forward, Harry’s tip entered you, and you groaned as you felt him stretching you completely.

“Gotta relax, honey,” Harry’s hands reached down to massage your hips. “Breathe in with me. I’ll count. One, two, three, four, five.”

You each let the deep breath back out, and he smiled down at you.

“Again,” he instructed you, but this time, he began sinking his length inside of you as he spoke each number. “One, two, three, four, five.”

Eventually he bottomed out completely, sheathed inside your warm cunt, and you felt yourself clench down around him.

“You’re so big,” you whimpered, nails digging into his biceps. “Never had anything this big inside me before.”

“Never? Not even a toy?” Harry asked as he drew his hips back before thrusting in again.

“No,” you shook your head. “My biggest is hardly half your size. I’m not the biggest fan of dildos or vibrators. My suction toy gets me off just fine.”

“Well, I don’t think you’ll be needing that too much anymore,” Harry laughed as his hands now cupped your breasts. “I’ll make sure you’re satisfied every damn day.”

He gave you three aggressive thrusts as he spoke those last three words, and you felt your eyes roll into the back of your head. “Yes.”

“That sound good to you, baby?” Harry started up a steady pace - his balls slapping against your rear entrance as he did so. “Have you coming on my fingers, my tongue or my cock every day? You’re never going to go without, understand?”

“Mhmm,” you mewled, arching your tits further into his palms. “I understand.”

For a few moments, only soft moans and heavy breathing filled the room, accompanied by the sound of your skin slapping together as Harry satiated your sexual hunger. You had never been fucked like this before in your life. He was taking you with such precision - each of his thrusts filled with a purpose. The purpose being to get you off by any means necessary.

“You know what else I’ve thought about?” Harry asked after capturing your lips in a brief kiss. “Thought about taking you in my office, especially on those days where you wear those tight pencil skirts, or those flowy dresses, and I think about bending you over my desk - taking you from behind.”

“Yeah?” You stared up at him. “Thought about taking you at work too. I thought about - uh - riding you as you sit in your desk chair, and I wouldn’t even care if people heard. I see the way Darlene in marketing looks at you. I’d want her to know it was me who got to have your cock.”

Your words caused Harry to give you an extra hard thrust, and you could feel his tip punching against your most sensitive spot.

“I would hope they all hear,” Harry tilted his head down, spitting against your clit before beginning to use the tips of his fingers to play with it. “Hope they all know it’s me who gets to fuck you this good.”

“Promise me,” your hands found their way to Harry’s back, and you dragged your nails down his skin. “Promise me you’ll fuck me in your office first thing Tuesday morning. I’ll wear my prettiest underwear - just for you.”

“Better be just for me,” Harry growled as he smacked your wet pearl. “I’m the only one who gets this cunt now.”

“The only one,” you agreed. “I don’t want anyone else. Just you.”

“And I only want you. God, I can’t believe this is happening right now. I’ve finally got you underneath me.”

“Want to stay underneath you,” you babbled as you felt heat pooling in your lower stomach. “Harry, I’m close.”

Harry’s fingers applied more pressure to your clit, and it was then that your orgasm washed over you. You could feel yourself gushing past Harry’s covered cock - your body trembling as your knees squeezed against his hips.

“Oh my god,” your head lulled to the side as you started to come back down. “I’ve never come so hard in my life.”

“Look so pretty when you come,” Harry shook his head, still not believing that he was seeing you like this. “It’s a fucking honor to see something as gorgeous as that.”

You started to lift your hips up to meet his movements, and you could feel yourself clenching down around him again. If he kept this up, you’d definitely be having another orgasm before you were finished.

“You feel so good around my cock, Y/N. Never had a cunt fit me so perfectly. Take a look.”

One of Harry’s hands cupped the back of your neck, and he sat up just a bit as he pulled your head up. You peered down, spreading your legs further as you watched his thick cock glide in and out of you.

“Look at that,” you bit down on your bottom lip, a whimper leaving you as you couldn’t find it in yourself to look away. “Just clinging to you, huh?”

Harry hummed in response, and you could feel his thrusts growing a bit uneven. “I’m about to come, baby.”

“Me too. I’m going to come again, Harry. I want you to come with me.”

After a few more thrusts, you felt absolute pleasure blanket over you for the second time, and you watched as your orgasm coated him completely. It was then you looked up to see Harry’s face contorting once again, and this time he looked even more glorious than before as he emptied himself inside of the condom.

Making sure that you both rode your highs out completely, Harry continued his movements for just a few more seconds before he collapsed on top of you.

Your bodies were sticky with sweat as you clung to each other, and your fingers played with the hairs at the nape of his neck. This all felt so right - that the both of you were exactly where you needed to be in each other’s arms

You opened your eyes when you felt Harry’s head tilting up, and you both smiled at each other. “Hi,” he said, fingertips dipping into the ridges of your ribs.

“Hi,” you giggled, and you saw his face brighten even more at that. 

“I missed that sound,” he told you. “It’s one of my favorite things.”

“Well, I think you’ll be hearing a lot of it now,” you smirked, pushing some of his curls off his forehead.

“I can’t wait.”

Harry gave you a quick kiss as he pulled out, and he helped you into the bathroom before giving you privacy to clean yourself up. He discarded the condom in the trash can before slipping back into his joggers.

Once you were out of the bathroom, Harry’s eyes ran over your naked form as you approached him. You threw your arms around his neck to bring him down for another kiss as Harry rested his hands against your hips.

“So, I guess now if someone at the bar asks if you’re my boyfriend, you don’t have to lie this time,” you teased.

“Oh yeah?” Harry’s smirk that you’ve come to love so much crept its way into his lips. “So, I’m your boyfriend now?”

“Mhmm,” you hummed. “If you want to be.”

“Are you kidding me? Been dying to be able to say that and actually have it be real. I wanna fucking tell everyone that I’m yours, but I’ll make sure we’re careful at the office. It’ll all work out.”

You both shared another kiss before you just hovered your lips over his.

“So…round two?”

#harry styles writing #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry edward styles #harry styles ff #harry styles smut #harry styles au #harry styles fanfic #harry styles smutty fanfic #harry styles one shot #harryedwardstyles #harrystylesfanfic #harry fanfic #harrystyles #harry #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry smut #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry x y/n #harry x reader #harry x you #ceo!harry #harry styles smutty one shot #harry one shot

[beggars-opera]

Hey, so we don't talk enough about A Christmas Carol as being at least a little bit about not continuing a cycle of abuse and neglect, both against others and yourself.

In the book little Scrooge is left languishing over the holidays in a boarding school for some never-explained reason, but it is made very clear that this is miserable and unfair, and that his father is doing this on purpose. His sister specifically comes to tell him that "father is so much kinder now than he used to be, that home's like heaven." This also reflects a bit of Dickens's own childhood when his father went into debtor's prison and little Charlie was forced to support his family working full time in a shoe-blacking factory at the age of 12 (which is also why so many of his books seem to have a moral of "hey, kids are people too and maybe we shouldn't make them work in the mines.")

Whatever family reunion happened after didn't work out, because Scrooge continues believing that no one is coming to save him and pulling himself up by his bootstraps at the detriment of all other social relationships is the only way forward. And the more he lives by that philosophy, the more miserable he gets, because obviously he pushes away anyone who has that hope that he lost. They threaten to break down the walls he's built and teach him that a big pile of money doesn't have to be the only thing that he can rely on, if he'd just let himself be vulnerable and have a relationship with people who care about him, because they're out there even if he's ignoring them.

There is a certain type of person still very much out there who thinks this way. "I've never been happy in my life, so no one else has a right to be either. I was abused in my childhood so it's only fair that everyone else suffer as well." We see this in parents who still try to use corporal punishment, and in wealthy people who ignore the social factors keeping others down and scream that everyone else is just entitled, that only those who suffer and scrape deserve happiness. And they especially hate the people like Fred who represent the past that could have been, who have maintained hope for the future, and seem to be rubbing their optimism in your face, when in reality they're just maintaining hope because it's the only way you can survive.

It's so important for Scrooge to actually see the impact this thinking has on both himself and multiple generations. Rich people have this weird hangup about this story because they think Scrooge is bad because he's rich. He's not, he's bad because he's a horrible person and a miser - he doesn't use his money to better anything, including himself. Salting the earth, everyone suffers here, including him. And he learns that he's going to die old and alone without ever having spent or enjoyed his money, and that his family feels sorry for him, and that the nameless masses of poor people out there that he decries so much are in fact living, breathing people, including tiny disabled kids who don't deserve to suffer just because you decided life isn't fair.

In the end he takes responsibility for actually uplifting the people in the next generation who are trying to make the world a better place and no longer punching down, because it doesn't have to be this way. So many people out there just give up hope because things are hard and they think trying to improve things is a pointless exercise that makes them look dumb. How dare you grow a year older and not an hour richer! How dare you marry for love! That's the only thing more ridiculous than a Merry Christmas! When in reality, there are plenty of people who would love to see them happy if they just had a chance.

It's really sad that, while the language used to describe it has changed, these problems still persist. That people feel so wronged and isolated that they spend their days ensuring everyone else will be as well. That they fail to see their fellow humans as fellow humans who are just as deserving of love and kindness and a roof over their heads. I don't care what time of year it is, we should all be lifting each other up rather than tearing each other down.

#long post #rant #a christmas carol #charles dickens #history #books #literature #christmas #who hurt elon musk

[sissylittlefeather]

Baby, Let's Play House

A/N: I'm not sure how I feel about this one. Like I was so excited to write this idea and then I'm not sure it turned out very well. I don't know. If you like it, let me know because my confidence is slipping. If you read it, thanks as always. You're the reason I do this!

Warning: 18+ minors DNI, kissing, cussing, fingering, p in v penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, infidelity, domestic violence (happens "off screen", Elvis is not violent), mentions of infertility

Word count: ~3.8k

And a little song inspiration for this one. (I know it's not the title song but it inspired the fic lol)

******

You've been on Audubon Drive for several years when the Presleys move in next door. They seem like nice people: a husband, wife, and young adult son. They wave and smile when appropriate and you go on about your daily life.

You don't have children, so it's just you and your husband in your home. You try to convince yourself that he's not a bad man, but when he has a few too many, he has a tendency to make that a hard argument. But what choice do you have? It's 1956 and divorce isn't something anyone goes into lightly. Honestly, you probably just need to toughen up and realize that this is what you signed on for when you married George. Still, some small part of you hopes that there may be more to life.

One day, you decide to take it upon yourself to help George with the chores. Maybe this will reduce his stress and allow him to be kinder to you. You bring the lawnmower out of the garage with the grand idea to mow the lawn on your own. There's only one problem: you've never used a lawnmower before. You go to battle with it for about twenty minutes before you're so frustrated you want to cry. Finally, you sit down in the grass next to it and try to gather yourself. You're just about ready to give up entirely when you hear him. You look up into his face from your place on the ground.

"Ma'am, can I help you at all?" It's the neighbor boy from next door. You say boy, but he's easily in his early twenties. He's a man.

"Oh, well, I'm just, no I'm fine." He sits down next to you on the grass.

"I'll be honest. You don't look fine. Are you sure I can't help?" For the first time, you get a really good look at him. He's impossibly handsome. The lines of his face are like a Greek god and his lips look like they're soft as marshmallows. He kind of takes your breath away, but you're hesitant to let him know that.

"Well. I've never used one of these things before." He chuckles.

"I suspected as much. Can I do it for you?"

"Oh, my husband..."

"Is he here?" He turns to look up at your house.

"No."

"Then why don'tcha let me help? I'll be done before you can shake a stick." He smiles and you almost melt.

"Alright. If you insist."

"I do. I'm Elvis. Elvis Presley." He reaches a hand out to shake yours.

"Y/n. Y/f/n y/l/n. Thank you, Elvis."

"You're welcome, Mrs. Y/l/n." He pops up off the ground and takes the lawnmower. He skillfully maneuvers it around the yard and you watch from the porch for a bit. Then, it occurs to you that you should do something to thank him. You run inside to make some lemonade. When you come back out, he's taken his shirt off and is almost finished. A thin, sheer coating of sweat covers his skin and something inside you jumps. You stand on the porch with your tray trying not to stare at him as his arm muscles flex with the movement of the lawnmower. At one point, he looks up at you and you look away quickly. When you risk a glance back in his direction, he's smiling the dimpled smile again. Eventually, he finishes and parks the lawnmower in front of the porch. He walks up the steps, wet with sweat, and takes the glass of lemonade that you offer him.

"Thank you, ma'am."

"Please don't call me ma'am. It makes me feel like I'm a hundred years old."

"Well, if you don't mind me asking, how old are you?"

"That's not a very nice question to ask a lady."

"Oh, I'm sorry-"

"I'm 33." He nods and smiles again.

"That's not old at all, honey." The switch from ma'am to honey is a subtle but deliberate one.

"How old are you?" He grins devilishly.

"Old enough." You feel your cheeks flush with his flirtatious answer. You're trying very hard not to notice how his tanned skin glistens in the sun. But the way he looks at you, like a puppy who hasn't eaten in a week, makes it hard to ignore how handsome he is. He looks out to your yard again.

"Looks like you need someone to sort out those flower beds. Can I come back this weekend?" You think to yourself that George wouldn't like it. But he's out of town for work this weekend and you do need help with the flower beds.

"Sure. Can you be here Saturday morning?"

"I can be here whenever you want, honey." He winks and hands you his empty glass. Then, he takes your hand and kisses the back of it. "I'll see you on Saturday."

"I'll be waiting." You try to hide your cringe after you say it. What on earth made you say that?! But he takes it in stride, grinning widely.

"It can't come soon enough." He walks back across the yard to his home and goes inside. Your chest is heaving and it feels like you can't breathe. No one has made you feel like this in years.

******

George doesn't even notice that the yard is mowed before he leaves for his business trip. You're torn between being disappointed that he doesn't notice your efforts and relieved that you didn't have to tell him about having the neighbor help.

When Saturday rolls around, you wake up early to make yourself presentable. You catch yourself as you're about to dab on your expensive perfume and look at yourself in the mirror disapprovingly. Why are you trying so hard to impress this young man? You put the perfume down and walk out of the bathroom. But before you make it to the living room you go back and dab on the perfume and swipe on your favorite lipstick. Does it really hurt anything to look and smell nice? No. At least that's what you're going to tell yourself.

He shows up around 10am and knocks on your front door. The butterflies in your stomach are embarrassing and you take a deep breath before opening the door.

"Hi Mrs. Y/l/n!" He smiles brightly and you actively try to calm yourself down.

"Hi Elvis. Thank you again for doing this."

"Oh, it's no trouble!" You walk outside with him and show him what you want done with the flower beds.

"I know that's a lot of work. If you don't finish today, it's okay." You look at him and try not to bat your eyes.

"I'll just come back again." He winks and your stomach flip flops.

"Well, I'll leave you to it." You smile awkwardly and he nods. As you walk away, he calls after you.

"I don't mind if you watch." You turn back to him with a shocked expression on your face. "Kidding. Mostly."

His smirk causes a physical response between your legs and you turn and walk away from him as quickly as possible.

A couple of hours later, you peek through the blinds to check his progress. He's taken his shirt off again and you watch as he wipes his brow. You don't even notice you're biting your lower lip until he looks up at you in the window. He smiles mischievously and you realize you might be in trouble.

After another hour, he knocks on the door. You swallow deeply and open it.

"I think I've done all I can do today. Do you mind if I take a break in here? Maybe have some more lemonade?"

"Oh, of course!" He follows you to the kitchen where you fix him another glass of lemonade. When you hand it to him, your fingers touch and you almost drop it. He takes a long drink and then looks around your house.

"Your husband isn't here?"

"No, he's away for work."

"You have kids?"

"No, no kids."

"Hm." He drinks more from his glass and you take the opportunity to look at him again. His hair has fallen from its perfect, slicked back style and the front pieces hang in his face. You become keenly aware of the fact that you're alone in your house with him and he's half naked. Your imagination begins to run wild and you clear your throat to try to get it to stop.

"How do you like the neighborhood?"

"Oh, it's really nice. It's the best place we've ever lived." You nod and he tells you a little bit about the place they came from and how his music career has allowed him to get something nicer for his family.

When his glass is empty, he looks down at it and then back up at you.

"Would you like some more?"

"No, I'm alright Mrs. Y/l/n."

"You know, you can call me y/n."

"Okay then, y/n." He looks into your eyes for a minute before he takes a step closer to you where you stand leaning against the kitchen counter. You look up at him in anticipation and he reaches behind you to set his glass down. He gets painfully close to you when he does so, close enough for you to catch the scent of his natural musk mixed with some other manly smell. He's absolutely intoxicating.

"I should probably get out of here. Thanks for the lemonade." You nod.

"Of course."

"I'll come back to finish those flower beds sometime this week."

"Okay. That sounds good." You're so discombobulated that you don't even think about what might happen if he shows up when George is home. He's got you so distracted that you almost forget George exists. Then, before he leaves, he leans in and whispers in your ear.

"I like your perfume." As he backs away, his lips graze your cheek and a shiver runs through you. "I'll see you soon."

He turns to walk toward the door and your heart pounds so loud you're pretty sure he can hear it.

******

Thankfully, when he shows up on Wednesday to finish up the flower beds, George is at work. You answer the door and he stands on your porch eagerly.

"Thought I'd come finish those beds, if you don't mind."

"Oh, not at all. Thank you for coming back."

"Well, maybe I missed you." He smiles and your heart turns over in your chest.

"Elvis, you don't know me well enough to miss me."

"Maybe I'd like to know you better, then." He's surprisingly serious when he says it. You open the door for him to walk inside and then close it gently behind him.

"I have a husband." You practically whisper it to him and look down at your feet.

"I know that." He tips your chin up so that you're looking up at him. "You just seem so lonely."

"I am." Your eyes fill with tears as you look at each other. A single tear escapes and slides down your cheek. He catches it and wipes it away with his thumb. Slowly, he leans in and kisses your cheek where the tear was. Electricity runs through you and you're overwhelmed with the need for him to kiss you more. Seemingly reading your mind, he leans in again and presses his lips to yours softly. When he pulls back, his eyes flick between yours and then down to your mouth. You can tell he's about to kiss you again, so you look back down at your feet.

"Elvis, I can't."

"Is he good to you?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Like hell it doesn't!"

"Elvis, please." You look at him desperately and his heart breaks for you.

"Okay. I understand."

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. I'll just get to work on those flower beds."

"You really don't have to."

"Y/n, I want to. Please let me help you." Your heart is warmed by his kindness. He seems to genuinely care about your wellbeing.

"Thank you." He nods and smiles and heads out the front door to the yard.

While he works, you sit in the living room and sob. You're not used to a man who actually cares.

******

"What happened to the flower beds?" George stands at the window on Friday afternoon with a glass of whiskey and a cigarette.

"What do you mean?" You ask innocently, trying to figure out how to answer him.

"They're weeded and there's new flowers."

"Oh, well, I did it. Or rather, I had a friend do them."

"A friend? What friends do you have?" His tone is scathing. He loves to bring up how alone you are.

"The neighbor boy."

"The one with the sideburns and squirrel shoes?"

"Stop, George, he's nice."

"Oh? He's nice? How many times has he been over here?"

"Just a couple of times to help with the yard work." A sickening feeling settles in your stomach as his mouth twists.

"Why is he so keen to help you?"

"He's just a nice kid, George."

"I'll bet he's nice. Men usually are when you fuck them."

"George! I have not!"

"I'm sure, you little whore. You'd give it up to anyone who smiles at you right." You feel the angry tears prick the corners of your eyes.

"George, please stop." He walks towards you menacingly and you cower, trying to avoid him. You close your eyes and pray that he'll get his fill of hurting you quickly.

******

On Saturday morning, George leaves for another business trip and you lay in your bed crying. That's where you are when you hear the soft knock on your door. You don't answer it. But then you hear another knock and Elvis calls to you from the porch.

"Y/n! I know you're in there." You walk to the door and talk to him through it, refusing to open it.

"What do you want, Elvis?"

"I don't know, I just. I wanted to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Your husband. He said something to me. Please let me in."

"What did he say?"

"He said 'she's all yours'. Now let me in. I have a bad feeling about this."

"No. Go home, Elvis. It's nothing."

"Alright, now I'm really coming in. You can open this door or I'm breaking it down."

"Elvis. Don't be ridiculous."

"Here I go! You better stay clear." You hear him back up like he's going to actually try to kick the door in, so you open it quickly.

"Stop!"

"There now that's... y/n..." He pushes his way into the room when he sees you, closing the door behind him. You stand and stare at each other. Then, he gently holds his hand up to your face, gingerly ghosting his thumb over the black and purple bruising on your eye.

"Did he do this to you?" His voice is strained and lower than you've ever heard it before.

"It doesn't matter."

"I'll kill him." You can feel the raging energy coming off of him in waves.

"Elvis, please." The desperation in your voice is the only thing that could calm him down.

"Did he do this because of me?" He practically whispers it. You look down at the floor. "Did he?!"

When he gets loud, you wince and move away from him out of habit.

"Oh, god, honey, I'm sorry." He softens again and wraps his arms around you. You don't hold back anymore, sobbing openly on his shoulder. He walks you to the couch and sits you down next to him, still holding you as you cry.

Eventually, you sit up and look into his face. He shakes his head when he sees your eye again.

"I know I'm ugly with this-" You put your hand up to cover it and he brings it back down.

"Stop. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I just wish I could've been here to protect you."

"Oh Elvis, it's not your-"

He cuts you off by pressing his lips to yours, his hand on the side of your neck. He pulls back a little and whispers, running his thumb gently across your cheek.

"He'll never hurt you again. Not as long as I live." Then he dives back in and kisses you deeply, parting your lips to let his tongue slide into your mouth. He kisses your cheek down to your neck and lays you down on the couch, situating himself beside you. You put your hands on his chest and melt into the closeness of his body. He might be young, but he's strong and for the first time in a long time you feel safe. His hand drifts up and down your back, finally settling on your hip, pulling you tight against him. His mouth finds yours again and your tongues dance against each other passionately.

You know you should stop him. You're married. But you don't. Instead, you let him reach behind you to the zipper on your dress.

"I'm going to take this off now, unless you say no." You're a little surprised at his confidence, but it's obvious he can tell how vulnerable you are. You nod yes and he slowly pulls the zipper down. Then, he sits up and uses both hands to pull your dress forward and down off of your body. He pulls his shirt over his head and kicks off his shoes, lying back down at your side. He rolls his hips into you and you feel his erection pressing against you. His hand slides up your body to your breast and he squeezes it lightly as he kisses your neck. You reach back and unclasp your bra, letting him pull it forward off of you. His mouth immediately goes to one of your nipples and he kisses and nibbles your chest affectionately. He slides his hand under your panties and teases your clit with his finger. Before too long, he slips a long finger into you and begins to pump it in and out. He adds a second finger and kisses your mouth again.

"Does that feel good, darlin'?" You moan softly and nod.

"Yes. Yes it does."

"Good. I just want to make you feel good, baby." He uses his thumb to rub circles on your clit and you whimper with pleasure.

"Oh, you like that?"

"Yes, don't stop!" He slows his fingers down and focuses instead on stimulating your sensitive bud. He drags his thumb over the top of it and moves faster and faster. He watches your body for cues and follows them to bring you the most pleasure. Your breathing picks up as you feel your climax approaching. He rubs a consistent pattern and your orgasm rushes toward you.

"Oh, God, Elvis, yes! Yes!" You cry out as you come hard on his hand. While you ride your body high, he goes back to pumping his fingers, crashing against your g-spot, and you come again, your release splashing out of you. Your legs shake as he pulls his hand away. He pulls your panties down and off and then stands up to remove his pants. They hit the floor and you're shocked to find that he isn't wearing underwear. His cock bounces free and the size of it takes your breath away. He climbs on top of you and aligns himself with your entrance, massaging your sensitive clit with his tip.

"Are you ready?" You look at him hovering above you and you can't believe this is your life. He's so beautiful and so kind. If you're not careful, you'll be in love with him. Finally, you whisper.

"Yes."

He nods and pushes into you, slowly sliding his cock inside. You moan softly as he fills you fully and you stretch around him.

"Oh fuck." He sighs and closes his eyes. You laugh a little at his reaction and he smiles, kissing your shoulder. Then, he picks up a steady pace of fucking into you.

"Is that good, honey?" He whispers in your ear as he pounds you.

"God, yes." You wrap your legs around his waist and he groans. He kisses your mouth with heavy tongue and slows his pace to long, deep strokes.

"Mmm, you feel so good, baby. I could do this forever." A big part of you wishes he would. "But I'm gonna come soon, darlin'. Where should I-?"

"You don't have to stop. I'm not... there won't be a baby." He stops momentarily and looks down into your face. You look away from him and he cups your chin and turns you back to look at him. He kisses your mouth, your cheek, and then your forehead.

"Okay, honey." You never thought you'd find a silver lining to your situation, but here it is. He rolls you on your side to face him with your leg over his hip and begins to pump in and out of you again slowly. Something changes slightly in the way he fucks you. He was gentle and deliberate from the beginning, but now he's even more affectionate, sweetly peppering you with kisses and running his hand over you gingerly. It dawns on you that you've gone from having sex to making love.

He moves his hand down to your hip and holds you tightly as he increases speed.

"Mmm. Baby. It's so good." He rolls his hips into you over and over as his climax approaches. His cock slides in and out quickly and he kisses your mouth one last time before he slams into you and shudders, filling you with warmth. He presses his forehead to yours and breathes heavily. "That was amazing."

You nod and kiss him softly on the lips. He rolls onto his back and rearranges you to lay on his chest. For a young man, he has no problem taking charge and you feel more and more comfortable in his arms. You spend the next few hours in this position, talking about anything and everything. When the sun starts to get low in the sky, he looks out the window.

"Do I need to leave?"

"It's up to you. George won't be home until Monday evening." You feel a lump form in your throat at the thought of spending the next few days alone.

"Then I'm staying. I have to leave on Monday to play a couple of shows, but I'll be back. I'll stay with you until I leave."

"Your parents won't worry about you?"

"I'm an adult. I'll call my mother and tell her I'm staying with a friend for a bit."

And he does. You spend the next two days together, laughing and talking and playing house. You've never been happier in your life. Neither of you thinks about what the future might hold for you. Instead, you revel in the time you have right now with each other. For the moment, you're happy, and no one can take that away from you.

******

Thoughts?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taglist:

@ccab @elvisfatass @elvisalltheway101 @aliypop @18lkpeters @dkayfixates @tacozebra051 @your-nanas-house @deniseinmn @joshuntildawn13 @lookingforrainbows @60svintage @littlehoneyposts @epthedream69 @louisejoy86 @rjmartin11 @from-memphis-with-love

#elvis presley fanfiction #elvis presley #elvis fanfic #elvis smut #elvis presley fic #elvis presley x reader #elvis x reader #elvis presley x y/n #elvis fic #elvis fanfiction #elvis presley x you #elvis presley fanfic #elvis x y/n #elvis x you #elvis presley smut #Spotify

[drunk-on-dk]

I Just Think You're Cool | Pt 1 - Lee Seokmin (m)

✦pairing: college athlete!seokmin x afab reader

✦genre: fluff, some smut (minor DNI)

✦warnings: Best friend Mingyu, teasing, drinking, y/n has a bit of a stalker at one point, SMUT, fingering, cunnilingus lmao, i gotta think of any other warnings, MINORS DNI

✦wc: ~6.2k

✦summary: Seokmin knew you were off limits, you were Mingyu's best friend, and he had been quite protective over you. However, your sudden reoccurring appearances make it harder for Seokmin to not fall for you even more.

✦ AN: I hope you all enjoy it! This is not super proofread towards the end, so I apologize for any errors. A little all over the place, but I had fun writing it. Got a bit carried away with the lead-up, thinking of maybe a pt 2 with some more smut. Otherwise, Cinema by Harry Styles was on repeat during this. ENJOY!

part one | part two

Seokmin was surprised to see you so bright and early at 6 AM in the morning, watching you from where he was warming up on the field as you fumbled with a camera bag and tripod near the bleachers. Mingyu was next to you, helping you set up and keeping you from falling when your foot got tangled in the strap of your camera bag. Seokmin had to hold back a chuckle as he witnessed you almost topple over from afar. He watched as you regained your balance, Mingyu and you laughing at your clumsiness, a graceful smile was drawn over your features in contrast to your near fall.

Seokmin had to pull his gaze away, hating the ping of jealousy that he felt as he watched Mingyu pinch your cheek before he jogged back towards the team on the field. Coming to a halt alongside Seokmin, Mingyu gave you a thumbs up, which you returned, but also waved at Seokmin upon noticing that he had been looking your way, a blush shading your cheeks realizing he probably saw you trip. Seokmin waved back, still unsure as to why you were here at their practice, and Mingyu seemed to notice this as he continued to stare in your direction, seemingly confused.

“I thought I let everyone know on the team, but Y/N is helping out with our social media,” Mingyu explained, grabbing a soccer ball nearby to begin running some drills with Seokmin. “You know, like posting about our games, making promotional videos, all that fun stuff. You may not know it, but Y/N is good with stuff like that.”

Seokmin nodded, passing the ball back and forth between Mingyu and him. “So that means she’ll be at all our practices?”

“Probably as many as she can make it to, and most likely as many games as she can attend as well.” Seokmin couldn’t deny the giddiness he felt, realizing he’ll be seeing you around more often, losing his attention as the ball that Mingyu kicked his way flew right past him. “Hey, pay attention to the ball.”

Mingyu was Seokmin’s kind, best friend who he had met his first year on the university’s soccer team. You were Mingyu’s even kinder, best friend that Seokmin was absolutely infatuated by, but could never admit it to anyone, fearing that Mingyu may beat his ass. Seokmin had seen you around often of course, due to you being Mingyu’s other constant in life other than his soccer team. However, your interactions were scattered, only briefly catching up with Seokmin at parties the soccer team threw, the occasional pregame or hangouts that Mingyu held at his place, and the couple of times you passed each other on campus, always greeting him with a shy wave and smile. That was it though, as Mingyu wasn’t your only friend, and you had become MIA over the years due to you going out with other friends from your own extracurriculars.  

Seokmin remembered the first time he met you freshman year at one of the first parties the soccer team had thrown. His friendship had just begun with Mingyu, and the two were already attached at the hip. To no surprise, Mingyu had invited you to the party, as you two had quickly become close friends upon meeting each other on your first day of lectures, only to find out you both live in the same dorm building. Seokmin watched you walk into the party with Mingyu, to which Mingyu introduced you to all his teammates. Seokmin thought it may have been love at first sight, you were attractive and incredibly charming, so he quickly brushed it off as a freshman crush.

Of course, Seokmin wasn’t the only one interested in you, there were other teammates who tried to make advances on you. This would prove to piss Mingyu off by the end of the party, pushing an older teammate, Jeonghan, away from you when he tried to make a move on you. You had eased the situation, guiding the heated Mingyu away from the perplexed Jeonghan, making sure to direct a bright smile and blow a kiss towards the older boy. Jeonghan of course teased Mingyu for the rest of the year up until he graduated

Ever since then, Seokmin has treaded very lightly around you, still unsure three years later if Mingyu was being a protective friend, or if the boy has a crush on you just like all his friends. Unfortunately, Seokmin’s crush never went away, you only became more and more attractive over the years, not only did you tend to get prettier each time he saw you, but as he learned more about you as well. However, he’d never risk his friendship with Mingyu, especially since they were on the same team. Still, Seokmin was sure to follow you on social media, giddy when you followed him back, and tried to speak to you whenever he came across you in person.

On the other hand, you still couldn’t believe you agreed to helping Mingyu and the soccer team out with social medias. Sitting down behind the camera you let out a huff, feeling slightly uncomfortable as the morning dew that had settled on the metal bleachers was now soaking into your leggings. You enjoyed editing pictures, videos, and were savvy with social media, so you had blindly agreed when Mingyu asked you to help manage social media for the team, not being aware of how much of a time commitment it may be. This wasn’t necessarily related to your major at all, but hey, it wouldn’t hurt to be affiliated with your university’s official soccer team, the management skills potentially being beneficial for your resume. Also, you couldn’t deny that you enjoyed watching attractive men play soccer all day, for your own selfish reasons.

An hour later, practice had come to an end, but Mingyu had to stay an extra half hour due to a screw-up he had made during a scrimmage game that cost him extra practice time. Mingyu had called out to you from the field before Soonyoung, the team captain, began pushing him to start running laps. “Catch a ride with Seokmin, he’s the only fool that I trust to get you home safely, don’t wait around for me.” Upon hearing that, Seokmin points to himself dumbly, looking up from where he was packing his cleats into his bags and over to Mingyu, who paid him no attention.

You laugh at the confused boy, haphazardly carrying your camera bag and tripod towards him, “you don’t have to take me home, DK, I can wait around for Mingyu. I really don’t mind.” Seokmin could have sworn the wind was knocked out of him upon hearing you use his nickname so casually in a sentence. He came to his senses, closing his jaw that was slacked open, realizing why you may think he doesn’t want to take you home per his shocked expression.  

Scrambling to pick up his duffle bag, Seokmin takes the tripod from you to carry as well, and quickly tried to play off his odd behavior. “Y/N, don’t worry, I can take you home,” Seokmin laughs, “Sorry, I was just shocked that Mingyu wasn’t being protective of you for once, and that he said he trusts me out of all people.”

You laugh at his statement, following him towards his car in the lot near the field, and decide to tease him a bit. “Good point, Mingyu tends to be overprotective. Can I trust you though, hmm?”

Seokmin smiles at you as he piles your stuff and his into the backseat of his car, you both climbing into the front seats once everything is all set. You always have noted how dazzling Seokmin’s smiles are, it’s the kind of smile that extends up into his eyes, and always makes you want to smile in return.

“I don’t know, Y/N,” he says as he revs up the engine, putting the car into drive and pulling out of the lot. “I’m hungry, and you don’t want to see what I can do when I get too hungry. Otherwise, I’m pretty trustworthy, won’t cause any harm, I promise.”

“Hmm,” you seem to hum in consideration, “how about I get you breakfast this morning in return for driving me back?”

Seokmin’s heart almost pounds out of his chest, as he refrains from snapping his head in your direction to see if you’re messing with him. Of course, this was just an innocent suggestion on your end, but the thought of any chance to spend more time alone with you sends his mind and heart into overdrive, danger mode.

Before he even has a chance to respond, you’re jumping in your seat and pointing towards the popular twenty-four-seven diner on your campus. “Here! Pull over here! Let’s get breakfast at the diner.” Due to the enthusiasm in your voice, he’s whipping into the first parking space he can find at the diner, shocked by how you grab his hand once he locks his car, pulling him into the diner and to the nearest empty booth.

Breakfast with you is comfortable, even with the subtle pounding of Seokmin’s heart. You are incredibly entertaining to him, constantly coming up with new topics of conversation, and never failing to make him laugh. He takes pride in making you laugh as well, especially when you almost spit out your coffee when he fails to perform a pseudo magic trick using his napkin and utensils. Seokmin uses this as a chance to get to know you better, but so do you, taking the time to ask him questions about himself. He swears he’s only digging himself deeper, further realizing how kind and funny you are, loving the twinkle in your eye as you talk about the things you enjoy doing, sharing tid-bits about your hobbies, such as editing pictures and videos, and your friendships outside of Mingyu.

He knows he's in really deep when the waitress spills a full cup of water on the table, the puddle leaking onto your lap. She’s quick to apologize, claiming it’s been an off day, but you graciously assure her that it is alright, that it’s just water, with the kindest eyes he’s ever seen. You’re even sure to leave her a tip above average, mentioning that you hope it helps brighten her day and that you’ve been there before. Seokmin had only inquired, in hopes that he can help chip into the cost of the breakfast, but you stubbornly snatched the check away from him, tucking in enough cash for the food and a hefty tip.

The car ride back was comfortable as well, but Seokmin’s heartbeat had only picked up even more, not wanting his time with you to come to end just yet. You were in the passenger seat, singing along quietly with the music that played on the radio, and he thought he could get used to having you around, even if that meant he had to suppress his itching desire to make you his.

Much to his dismay, he pulled into your apartment's front entrance, but you seemed to be bummed a bit as well. You huffed, holding your palm out to him, “hand me your phone.” Seokmin stumbles to pull his phone out of his pocket and unlocks it, tossing it into your hand like a hot potato. You don’t seem to notice how nervous he is, watching as you type your number into his phonebook, and giving yourself a quick call. You hold your phone up to show him that you have his number as well before ending the call.

“Let’s be friends, DK, I had fun today. Text me if you ever want to hang out,” you say whilst handing his phone back, and he holds it almost as if he’s been handed a relic. You’re quick to hop out of his car, snapping him back to reality. Seokmin watches as you grab your stuff from the backseat before heading up to the front door, shooting another smile his way and you bid him goodbye with a wave, disappearing into your apartment complex.

This is how Seokmin ends up texting you for the next couple of weeks, leading to your friendship blooming, and despite trying his hardest to not fall more for you, his heart was growing fonder of you day by day, text by text. He sees you around more often now due to your frequent attendance at games, practices, and any team event you are invited to. However, he still hasn’t had the guts to ask you to hang out one on one. Of course, Mingyu is still your best friend, so he can’t help but feel as if he’s betraying some sort of bro-code, even though he’s only set his intentions on becoming a good friend of yours for now.

Mingyu starts to pick up on your newfound friendship with Seokmin too, noticing how instead of being by his side as per usual at the pregame, you’re actually in the corner of the kitchen giggling at a joke that Seokmin says. It must be obvious that something has shifted since Seungkwan from the team had the audacity to walk up to Mingyu and tell him that you may have found a better friend on the team. Mingyu lets his comment slide, pushing the younger boy away, but he’s sure to note the way that you lean into Seokmin as you both continue talking. He’s not sure what he’s feeling, but he sure doesn’t like that his two best friends are bonding without having him in the loop.

When you’re all out at the bar later, Mingyu pulls Seokmin aside to ask about the clear difference in your friendship. You had disappeared into the crowd a while ago, noticing a group of people you had recognized, and you had ended up taking shots and moving to the dance floor with them.

“What’s going on with you and Y/N?” Mingyu asks his friend, looking down at the half-drank beer in his hands. “Just curious, since you two seem to be closer now.”

Seokmin is quick to pick up on Mingyu’s mannerisms, as he doesn’t seem too hostile, but there is still that protective tone in Mingyu’s voice. “Just became friends I guess; we’re pretty alike you know.”

Mingyu laughs, Seokmin was right, you two were almost the same person, and he couldn’t believe he basically had two clone best friends. “True,” Mingyu hums, seeming to trail off, unsure of what to say next. He’s not sure why he’s acting this way, or why the question leaves his mouth. “Do you like her?”

“Do you like her?” Seokmin asks back, unsure how to respond, and hoping his wide eyes don’t give him away. There’s an awkward pause as Mingyu chokes on the beer he had just sipped on.

“No way,” Mingyu almost stutters out, but Seokmin gives him a knowing look. “Ok, I liked her sophomore year, but she completely, flat out rejected me. Nothing really changed otherwise though, stayed best friends of course. That’s over now, but that may be why I’m so protective. That’s also why I’m asking, do you like her?”

Seokmin isn’t sure if this is a test from his friend, unable to read the look in Mingyu’s eyes. Thankfully, you and a friend of yours pop up out of nowhere, and you’re too excited to notice the tense air between him and Mingyu. Quick to wrap an arm around Mingyu’s waist, you take his free arm and place it over your shoulder.

“There you guys are,” you slur, you’re much drunker than before, and you’re leaning most of your weight into Mingyu, your other friend quick to grab the drink you almost spill out of your hand. “We were looking everywhere for you.”

“Hey, Maya,” Mingyu greets the girl who is next to you. Maya, per Seokmin’s observations, seems to blush as Mingyu smiles at her, and he knows the feeling all too well.

“OH MY GOD,” you screech, scaring your friends slightly and making Seokmin jump, “Seokmin, you have to meet my roommate, this is Maya. Maya, this is Seokmin, one of the nicest guys ever.” You break loose from your grip on Mingyu, stumbling over to the hesitant Seokmin who catches you, wrapping your arm around him in a similar matter. Seokmin avoids making eye contact with Mingyu at all costs, feeling how he eyes you two up and down.

“Nice to meet you, Maya,” Seokmin greets your roommate, charming as ever of course. She gives him an all-too-knowing look, before looking back at you and engaging in some unspoken conversation between you two. Mingyu can’t help but notice how you smile endearingly up at Seokmin, understanding your body language and comparing it with how you act around him. He can tell you're into Seokmin like crazy.

“Nice to meet you too, Seokmin. Unfortunately, we do have to head out, which is why we had been so desperately looking for you guys so that Y/N could say goodbye,” she laughs, trying to pry you away as your hold tightens on Seokmin. She’s successful in pulling you away from the man, even though Seokmin is just as reluctant as you are to let go, but he helps Maya out anyways. “As you can see, Y/N here is a little too tipsy. Nice to see you gents, and hope you have a good night.”

Maya and you bid the boys goodbye, of course not without pressing a quick peck to both of their cheeks before she can drag you out of the bar. Maya is quick to apologize on your end, saying goodbye again and pushing you out the door towards the uber.

Mingyu notices the bright hue on Seokmin’s cheek as you exit, and before Mingyu can point it out, Seokmin ultimately confesses his feelings to his friend, “Fuck, I like her a lot. I’m way too into her for my own good. I’m so sorry, Gyu.”

Mingyu can’t suppress the bit of jealousy within him, but he knows you two are never meant to be anything more than just friends. With a huff, downing the rest of his beer, he grabs Seokmin’s shoulder, “break her heart, and I will kill you.”

The next day, upon what can be considered Mingyu’s blessing, Seokmin finally works up the nerve to ask you to hang out. He sends you a simple text, asking if you’d like to get some coffee, assuming that you may be a bit hungover this afternoon.

You respond back quickly, but unfortunately not in his favor. You let him know you’re already out with Mingyu for the day. Seokmin internally curses Mingyu, of course, you had to be out with him. Seokmin is quick to send a response back, asking if you may be available to hang out tonight, as his only plans were to go to the field late at night to run some practice drills alone. It was a Saturday, but with there being a game tomorrow, he had no intentions to go out.

You never do respond though, not until later, apologizing that Mingyu had distracted you from your phone and that you already had plans to go to the bar again tonight, serving as redemption after your night before. Later when you had posted a picture that night on your story with Maya, he couldn’t help but notice how good you looked, cursing that he couldn’t just give in and go to the bar himself.

Ultimately, that leads to Seokmin spending his night on the field, running practice drills, and repeatedly kicking the soccer ball into the net to let out some steam. He had done this for a couple of hours, working up a sweat, and finally, when it reached 11 pm, he made his way back over to his duffle bag. As if perfect timing, he noticed he was getting a call, not just from anyone, but from you.

Fumbling to pick up his phone, he quickly answers, “Y/N?”

“Seokmin,” you mutter out quietly, “I’m so glad you answered, Mingyu wasn’t picking up at all. Can you please stay on the phone with me, I left the bar since I needed some air, but I think this guy is following me.”

“Of course, where are you at?” Seokmin is stern, not with you, but immediately felt tense considering you have someone following you.

“Umm, I’m right on Caldwell Lane, walking down towards Market Street,” your breathing is shaky, and he wishes he could be right by your side. “Where are you at, Seokmin? I’m far from my apartment, and I don’t want to stop here for an uber.”

Just then, Seokmin has a realization. Thank goodness he’s been practicing for so long, he realizes that once you get to Market Street, if you walk a block or so more, you will be at the soccer fields. “Y/N, just keep walking to Market, take a right once you get there, and you’ll be at the soccer fields. I’m here right now.”

He swears he can hear you whimper, “OK, I’m almost there, I’m going to pick up my pace a bit.” He can hear the clicking of your heels in the speaker as the urgency of your steps pick up. Seokmin can’t help but run down the street, hoping he can see your figure appear and at least have eyes on you. Once you do, he lets out a breath of relief, seeing that you’re safe and alone. However, much to his dismay, a guy is trailing you, making a turn at the corner and continuing to follow you.

“I see you, Y/N,” Seokmin says, increasingly getting more and more angry as the man continues to follow you. “You’re almost here, I’m gonna hang up now and call out for you.”

You seem to protest, but Seokmin hangs up, jogging towards you with arms wide open. “There you are, I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it out tonight with you.” You’re quick to fall into his arms, Seokmin staring at the man behind you with blazing eyes to let him know he’s been caught, to which the guy turns off conveniently into another local pub.

You’re near tears in his arms, grasping onto Seokmin for dear life as he runs a hand over the back of your head in comfort. “Thank you, Min, I’m so glad you picked up the phone.”

His heart flutters at the new nickname, “of course, Y/N. Please call me whenever, seriously.” He leans back, keeping you in his hold as he grabs your face in between his two hands, brushing a tear away with his thumb. He can’t help but notice how pretty you are, even when your nose has turned slightly red from all your sniffling. “My stuff is back on the field; I can go grab it and take you home.”

“No, no, no,” you mutter, mustering up a small smile. “I don’t want to intrude on your practice time.”

He scoffs, “Y/N, it’s 11 pm, I was getting ready to go home anyways,” Seokmin begins to lead you back to the field, and you follow, holding his hand tightly in yours, feeling safer that way. The field picks up all the noise pollution from the bars, booming music echoing throughout as you stand near Seokmin, reminding you that it truly is 11 pm. You pout when you notice he does pack up, pathetically playing with the soccer ball in your heeled booties as you wait for him.

“What if I don’t want to go home yet, Seokmin,” you ask, still kicking around the ball. Seokmin takes the time to look at you from where he is crouched over, packing his things up. You really do look good tonight, honestly extremely sexy in his opinion. He couldn’t believe the sight before him; you kicking around a soccer ball in your knee-high boots, black mini skirt, a trendy long-sleeved blouse, and your curled hair a bit tousled from the wind. He tried not to stare at you for too long, quickly standing up from his stuff, and snatching the ball from you with his own feet.

“Well, what do you want to do,” Seokmin asks gently, trying not to let his voice waver as you seem to chuckle at his playful nature of taking the ball from you.

“I want to do something fun,” you joke, getting a bit closer to him and pushing him to try to receive the ball back. Truthfully, you don't want to go home, you want to spend as much time with him as possible. “Play a bit of soccer with me.”

Seokmin can’t deny you anything, especially not when he hears your melodious laughter ring through the air as he starts to play along with your request. Your mood has flipped from before, now giggling as you somehow get the ball back from Seokmin, booking it down the field to attempt a shot at the net. However, Seokmin is too fast and skilled for you, albeit you’re in blocky heels, swiftly kicking the ball out from under you, but ultimately almost causing you to fall over.

Seokmin is quick to catch you, noticing how you lose your footing and trip over yourself. He pulls you in close like before, however, this time his body burns against you with a new heat in comparison. You’re breathless, you’re not sure if it’s from the running or the way Seokmin looks into your eyes, darkness in them that you haven’t seen before. He seems to be breathless too, but you see the way his demeanor changes before quickly letting you go.

You miss the heat of his body, not wanting him to let you go, and deciding to risk it, you pull him back into you. He is silent when you do so, so you panic, trying to sway along with the music echoing on the field. “No, please hold me, Min. I mean, do you hear that music? Dance with me or something.”  

Seokmin can’t tell if you’re still drunk, he can still smell the trace of alcohol on your breath, but you aren’t acting too out of sorts. He almost shivers when he feels your hands travel from his arms, up to his shoulders, and all the way into the hair on the back of his neck. This results in his grip on your waist tightening to pull you closer to him as you sway along to the distant beat. He can’t tell if you know exactly what you’re doing to him, letting out a sigh as you gently tug on his hair. You were acting quite odd, still, he couldn't bring himself to pull away from you.

“What are you doing, Y/N?” Seokmin almost pouts, an incredulous laugh escaping his lips as your close dancing starts to turn into sillier dance moves. You couldn’t believe that you had come onto Seokmin like that, trying to play off the situation by spinning in his arms, blaming the alcohol for making you act up again.

“I don’t know, having fun, Seokmin,” you giggle as he spins and dips you, playing along with you a little bit more now. The two of you must look so funny to any passersby, both of you dancing on the field, as you’re dressed up in going out clothes and he’s in his practice gear. He still looked extremely attractive to you though, the sporty look and messy hair sending your mind into overdrive.

“Seriously, what’s up with you?” He continues to laugh but finally pulls away, holding you steady for once.

You suck in a breath, staring into his eyes again, trying to pick up on any cues on how he may feel about you because you are surer than ever that you want him and want him bad. You had developed feelings for him as well, and it was beginning to drive you crazy. You quickly spit out, “I just think you’re cool; I like being around you. Do you think I’m cool too?”

Seokmin has to stifle back a laugh, “I think you’re cool too, Y/N.”

You shake your head, finally deciding to let it all out, “no, Seokmin, like I’m way too into you. I don’t even know why I said that.”

Seokmin stares at you incredulously, and all he can think to do is to lean down and gently pull you into a kiss. However, upon kissing you, you let out a moan, and for once he feels something snap within him, making him act out differently from his usual gentle style. He grabs the soccer ball from the ground near your feet, hoisting you up onto his shoulder, being sure to cover you from your mini skirt rising, and he leads you over to the building next to the field.

Dropping you down gently onto the ground, Seokmin tosses the soccer ball into the metal-wired basket where the rest are all piled up, and he pushes you up against one of the many lockers. You soon realize this is the locker room, noticing Kim Mingyu’s name engraved on the locker across from the one you’re pressed against. Your skin feels hot, noticing how Seokmin’s demeanor really has changed, his eyes back to the darkness that they were before.

“Stop with all that cute shit and playing games, Y/N,” Seokmin grabs your jaw with one hand, the other hand holding your hip against the locker behind you. “Fuck, I’m into you too, didn’t you ever notice that? Did you ever notice you have most of the soccer team running laps for you?”

You gasp when his lips connect with your neck, messily trailing up to your jawline where he holds you tightly. “I-I never n-noticed,” you breathe out, feeling breathless at his touch, grabbing onto his arms as you tried to ground yourself. You feel how they flex under your touch, this side of Seokmin being something you never noticed until now, truthfully. “I l-like the way you t-talk with me, h-how playful you are, and how,” Seokmin harshly sucks on your neck, nibbling gently, “fuck, h-how you make me feel.”

With new fervor, you gain some dominance, ripping his hand away from your face and pulling him into a rough kiss. Your heart flutters at the feeling, the kiss messy as your noses bump into one another, and his one hand slams into the locker making a loud noise. You jump slightly, but Seokmin keeps his mouth on yours, still battling for dominance against you.

Seokmin only pulls away from the kisses to whisper praises to you, “I can make you feel so good, darling. You’re so good for me, you deserve it,” he says, making you rut your hips up into him. Seokmin has ignited something in you, something you hadn’t felt in a while, and you were becoming more desperate as each second passed. “You look so beautiful, so gorgeous with my name engraved behind you, sounding so sexy moaning my name out.”

You gasp, moaning out when his hand travels down to your chest, palming roughly at your covered breasts. You realize you must be pressed against his locker, a way for him to stake his claim on you, and you continue to breathe out his name like a mantra as his hand travels farther down your body and closer to your core. By the time his hand makes it to your heat, you’ve wrapped a leg around him, his other hand helping hold it up for you.

His deft fingers run over your clothed folds, and you buck into his hand, feeling needy for his touch. “So sensitive for me, darling,” he groans out when his fingers move past your damp panties, slipping two of them into your seeping cunt. “So fucking wet for me too, is this really all for me?”

He looks at you so innocently, but his long fingers start moving in and out of you expertly, curling and hitting your g-spot. You’re gasping for air, hands pulling at his hair as he bites at your bottom lip, “all for you, Min, only you make me this wet.”

“Such a sweet girl,” Seokmin moans out, crashing his lips against yours as he relentlessly fingers you, and you can feel your own juices begin to drip down your thighs as he continues his ministrations. You let a loud moan slip past your lips as he begins to rub fast circles into your clit, your high approaching you quickly as Seokmin catches your moans with a kiss. He has your hips pushed against his locker, not allowing you to chase his fingers, but he’s able to get you to reach your release just by fingering you.

You feel the coil inside you snap, and you almost scream out in relief from the orgasm, but Seokmin is quick to capture the sound with a kiss, knowing you can’t be too loud. Seokmin almost loses his mind at the way your walls clamp around his fingers, wishing that he could feel you squeeze around his cock instead. However, tonight is not the night for that, knowing you’re a bit tipsy, and wanting to wait until he can really take his time with you. Regardless, he knows he is not done with you for the night. Not after the way you whine out when he removes his fingers from your core, pulling them to his mouth to taste you for the first time.

“Of course, you taste so fucking sweet, too,” Seokmin can’t help but sink to his knees, pulling the leg that was wrapped around his waist, and placing it over his shoulder instead.

“P-Please,” you beg, “I n-need more, please.” You’re gripping at his hair, as his hand roughly shoves your panties out of the way again, wasting no time diving into your heat with his mouth this time.

“No need to beg, darling,” Seokmin laps at your cunt, looking up at you from between your legs, and you swear you almost collapse at how innocent yet sexy he looks. “Taste so fucking good, let me take care of you.”

You’re grinding against his face as his tongue fucks into you, his nose deliciously providing pressure against your clit as you chase your high once again. “Just like that, ride my face,” he encourages you, only working his tongue even more messily into you, adding his fingers to the mix.

The rubber band inside you is quick to snap again, as Seokmin’s tongue and fingers work you through your second orgasm. You’re a writhing mess, your legs shaking as he tries to still the one hooked over his shoulder.

Once he comes back up for air, he’s pulling you into a heated kiss. The taste of you on his lips still makes you want more, even though you’ve become sensitive from the overstimulation. You try to trail your hand down to where he is obviously hard, all from getting you off, but he stops you before you can reach him.

“No, no, darling,” he says gently, pulling away from the kiss. “Just wanted to focus on you tonight. Let’s save this for later.”

You almost pitch a fit, but your cut off when you hear your phone vibrating in the distance from where you hand dropped it on the bench earlier. Quick to scramble away, you grabbed your phone to realize it’s Mingyu returning your calls. You quickly eye Seokmin, unsure if you should answer, feeling a bit frazzled by what had just happened.

As if he knows your almost asking for permission, he nods, smirking slightly as you pick up the call from your close friend.

“Oh, hey, Mingyu,” you say, and there is still a breathlessness to your voice that only Seokmin knows the reasoning behind. “Oh no, everything is okay. I’m fine now, don’t worry.”

Seokmin can hear Mingyu’s concerned voice on the other line, unable to make out exactly what he is saying, but he’s sure that the other man is making sure you’re safe. “Yeah, I’m safe now, Gyu. Seriously, I am perfectly okay.”

You breathe out once again, making eye contact with Seokmin, feeling the butterflies erupt in your stomach, reminding you of your orgasm ebbing away from your core. He looks so perfect as he stares at you with such love, you almost melt, forgetting you’re on a call with Mingyu. “I promise you, Gyu. Everything is perfectly fine. I'll see you at the game tomorrow.”

Seokmin pulls you into his arms after you assure Mingyu once again that you were safe and hang up. He's sure to scatter kisses all over your face, pulling you into a tight hug. You can’t hide the smile that covers your features, hiding your blush behind your hands as you try to cover your face. “I mean it, Seokmin, I’m really into you.”

Seokmin knows that Mingyu would kill him if he knew what had taken place right before that phone call, but he was sure he’d never let Mingyu down in the sense that he’d never break your heart. “I’m really into you, too, darling.”

#svthub #seventeen smut #svt smut #seokmin smut #dk smut #college seventeen #dokyeom smut

[justagalwhowrites]

Hello, i love your work omg!! I had a request for another Joel angst <3 I had an idea where reader decides to sell Joel's watch in the QZ and gifting him a new one (obv not knowing the meaning behind the watch) Joel gets angry and reader becomes heartbroken and decides to look for the watch and gets rly injured by gangs in the QZ and Joel gets worried/goes after her!

OMG Hi Bestie!

You sent me this forever ago but I'm in love with this ask and then went totally overboard and ANYWAY here's the angstiest ask I've ever had, I hope you love it as much as I love you!!

The Watch

You try to do something kind for Joel but things backfire in a way you never expected.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

CW: SMUT! Canon-typical violence. I did almost no proofing on this so... ya know. Basically no age-gap, reader is 3 years younger than Joel. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ only

Length: 12.2k (LOOK I'M SORRY OK I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME EITHER.)

March, 2010

Sometimes, you weren’t sure you knew Joel Miller at all. 

It was a strange sensation, when you thought about it. You’d known him for almost three years now. You’d first met him and his brother, Tommy, when they moved in a few doors down from you in the Boston QZ. Both handsome, both around your age - Tommy a bit younger, Joel a bit older - both beat down by what the world had become. 

But the last thing seemed to apply to everyone in the QZ. Life now was hard. That’s just the way it worked now, as much as you wished that weren’t the case. 

You’d managed to land a relatively good job in the grand scheme of things. You were a chef before, you ran part of the kitchen at a ritzy banquet hall in the city. You were used to feeding a crowd and FEDRA definitely had a crowd to feed every day, what with guards and all. 

It wasn’t much like it was before. There was very little joy in it, the process reduced to the barest minimum: Feed people so they stay alive. But you liked trying to find ways to make the food good, different from day to day. You still took pride in your work, even as the overly long days threatened to wear you down. You still wanted to try to make people happy with your work. 

Which is how you ended up getting to know Joel and Tommy in the first place. You showed up at their door a few days after they moved in with a few plates of food in hand, still hot below the tin foil they were wrapped in. 

“Yeah?” Joel said, voice gruff. 

“Hi!” You said brightly, not taking his attitude personally. Everyone was gruff here. You were used to it. You introduced yourself before pressing on. “I hadn’t seen you both around the QZ before so I thought you might be new and want a little something while you’re settling in, maybe stretch those ration cards a bit further…” 

“What’s in it for you?” Joel cut you off, looking you up and down.

It was like he was finding every flaw you’d ever been afraid you had, his eyes raking over you fiercely. 

“Nothing,” you smiled, even though it felt forced. “Just wanted to do something nice!” 

“Bullshit.” 

“Joel, you scarin’ the neighbors?” Tommy asked, coming alongside his brother and opening the door wider. 

“Not at all,” you smiled, a little more genuinely this time. 

Tommy introduced himself and Joel, who just grunted at you. 

“I brought dinner,” you said, holding the plates out. “Just thought you might want a break after getting here is all.” 

“That is real sweet of you,” Tommy smiled, taking the plates. He lifted one to his nose and breathed deep. “Smells real good, too. You a cook or something?” 

“Or something,” you smiled. “I used to be a chef but now I just cook for FEDRA. This is better than that, though. Anyway, I hope you like it and welcome to Boston!” 

“Thank you,” Tommy smiled broader. “Hope to see you around!” 

You started coming back to see Tommy. He was kinder, he seemed like he was happy to see you. Which you appreciated. You didn’t have many people in the QZ, it was nice to have someone who felt like a friend who lived so close. 

You’d come by twice more and chatted with Tommy for a bit the next time you saw Joel at all. You knocked on their door with a loaf of bread in hand and Joel opened it, frowning at you. 

“He ain’t here,” he said before you had a chance to say anything. 

“Oh,” you tried not to look disappointed. It seemed like that would be rude. “Well, I made a few loaves of bread today. I thought you might want one!” 

You held it out, an offering. 

He took it. 

“Still not sure why you’re doin’ this,” he said, almost sneering. “You just never work? FEDRA jobs that kush?” 

“No,” you frowned. There was the familiar pinch of tears at the back of your throat. “No, I work 12 hours a day six days a week, I just… I like to share.” 

You turned to go before you started crying in front of him, like an idiot. You’d always been overly sensitive, too open-hearted your mom had always said. It didn’t serve you well in the apocalypse. 

“Wait,” he said. You stopped but didn’t turn around, tears starting to slip down your cheeks. “Shit, I… Look. I’m not trying to be an asshole, OK? Just… Haven’t exactly had many people be nice for the sake of bein’ nice in a while. Feels hard to believe. Would… would you want to come inside? Don’t exactly got much at the moment but there’s coffee. Could make us some.” 

You dried your eyes on the back of your wrists and hoped he didn’t notice. 

“Yeah,” you sniffed a little before turning around. “Yeah, OK. Coffee sounds good.” 

It was awkward at first. Joel was stiff, clearly not used to having someone else around who wasn’t his brother. It reminded you of when you’d adopted a dog from the shelter when you were in your 20s. You brought him home to your apartment and let him off the leash and it was like he didn’t know what to do. He could recognize that this was a home, that it had a kitchen and a living room and a couch. He just couldn’t find his place in it. An interloper. Something that needed a map to help navigate a new yet familiar land. 

“How are you liking Boston?” You asked after a few minutes of awkward silence. 

He shrugged. 

“Fine,” he said. “Still tryin’ to figure out if it’s better than out there or not.” 

You nodded slowly. 

“I’ve wondered that, too,” you said. “But I’ve never been out there. I’m just not sure it’s worth it to try and figure out the difference.” 

He was almost kind while you were there. Well, definitely kind by Joel standards, almost by anyone else’s. But you’d take what you could get. Especially since you imagined that would be the last time something like that would ever happen. 

You were wrong. 

When you made pasta a few days later - the sauce surprisingly good for something thrown together from leftovers from the guards’ mess hall - you brought plates a few doors down and Joel answered. He invited you in again, even as you tried to just leave the food and go. 

The conversation was unlike anything you’d ever really had before. It wasn’t small talk - Joel seemed to find that sort of conversation excruciating - but it wasn’t anything personal, either. It occupied an nebulous third arena, deep and intelligent - discussing things like depictions of the end of the world in fiction and what they’d gotten right and what you thought might becoming because of it - but without offering a glimpse into the core of the other person. 

You weren’t sure what to do with any of it. But you liked it. You liked Joel. 

It happened a few more times over the next several months, you ending up in an obscure conversation with Joel in his apartment every other week or so, until, one day, things went bad on your walk home from work. 

One of your cooks was too sick to work - which said a lot with FEDRA breathing down your necks - and you’d stayed late at the kitchen after, getting things reset for the next day.

It was raining and cold and miserable as you trudged home, looking forward to a hopefully hot shower and your bed, when someone stepped out of the shadows as you turned a corner. . 

“Well well,” the man said, making you jump. There was a knife in his hand. You swallowed. “Look what we have here. A FEDRA bitch.” 

You looked around quickly, about to take off back the way you came when there was something warm and large against your back. 

“Don’t even think about it,” the man’s voice was harsh. 

“I’m sorry,” you said, your hands shaking. “I’ll give you whatever you want, I have ration cards, you can have them…” 

You felt the man behind you laugh. 

“Hear that?” He said. “She thinks we want her ration cards.” 

He sneered the last words, taunting you. 

“I just…” you began but the man in front of you spoke now. 

“We’ll take the ration cards,” he said, stepping closer. “Take a lot else, too. FEDRA killed my sister. Seems only fair we take a few of their bitches in return.” 

“Please,” you said softly. “Please, they won’t care, I’m just a cook, they won’t even notice, I’m so sorry about your sister but I’m not…” 

The one behind you grabbed a fistful of your hair, yanking your head back, making you squeal. The other punched you across the face, making you cry out in shock as much as it was pain. 

“Then we’ll start with you,” he said. “And take a few others, too. We’ll just take and take and take until they have to pay attention. Won’t we?” 

“Yup,” the man at your back put his mouth next to your ear so you could feel his hot breath on your skin. “We could get creative with ‘er. Know you wanted to gut her but now I’m wondering if I could make her choke to death on my cock…” 

Your heart was racing, beating so hard against your ribs it felt like it should be bruising from the force of it. 

“Please,” you were crying. “Please, I haven’t done anything to hurt anyone, I just…” 

“You’re FEDRA,” the man in front of you said, curling his hand into a fist. “That’s plenty.” 

You flinched from the blow you knew was about to land, tried to remember what you could about throwing a punch, when a sharp voice broke through the night. 

“Hey!” 

You opened your eyes just enough to see Joel stalking up. 

“The fuck you think you’re doin’?” He demanded. The man at your back released your hair. Joel didn’t slow down. He just shoved the man in front of you back. “Think you can just fuck with whoever you want around here?” 

“You FEDRA now, too, Miller?” He snapped. “Fuckin’ kill you too, maybe make you suck my dick first, too…” 

Joel punched him, hard, across the face. So hard the man collapsed to the ground in one hit. The man at your back grabbed you and threw you to the ground and you landed in the mud as he lunged for Joel. He dodged the man easily, throwing a punch to the man’s torso before he grabbed a knife from his belt and thrust it into the man’s stomach. He gasped at it, his mouth agape in shock as Joel pulled the blade up through his gut to his ribs before shoving him to the ground. The man he’d punched first had managed to roll over, trying to get up. Joel held up the knife. 

“Try it, Pickett,” he said. “Fuckin’ dare you.” 

The man stayed down. Joel nodded, bending to wipe his knife on Pickett’s pants before putting it in the sheath at his belt. He pulled his leg back and kicked the man, hard, in the stomach, right where he’d stabbed the other one. 

“She’s under my protection,” Joel snapped. “Tell your fuckin’ friends. I catch any of you fuckin’ with her, I’ll kill every last one of you. Understand?” 

Pickett just groaned. Joel dropped to one knee next to the man and took his face in one hand, his fingers sinking harshly into the ruddy flesh of the man’s cheeks. 

“Asked you a goddamn question,” he snapped. “Expect an answer or you’re too useless to leave alive. She’s protected. Fuck with her, you die like your fuckin’ buddy. Understood?” 

“Understood,” the man managed. Joel freed his face and he slumped down into the mud as Joel straightened back up. 

“Good.” 

He left the man in the mud before kneeling next to you. 

“You alright baby doll?” He asked, his voice weirdly gentle. You sniffed and nodded. “Alright, let’s get you up, get you home and cleaned up….” 

He put his hands on you delicately. You realized suddenly that Joel had never touched you before. Even when you handed him food or he gave you a cup of tea or coffee, his fingers never even brushed your own. Now, his hands were fully on you, all overly large and delicate and warm, guiding you into sitting up and then standing. Once you were on your feet, one of those large hands gingerly took your chin and turned your face this way and that, so different parts of your skin caught the light. 

“Fucker got you good,” he said, shooting the man who was still alive in the puddle another glare. “C’mon. We’ll get you home, get you all cleaned up. You’ll be OK.” 

He tucked you below his arm, guiding you away from the carnage behind you. You turned to look at it, anyway, the still living man crawling through the mud and the rain to his dead friend. 

“Don’t,” Joel said, voice oddly gentle. He delicately tucked your head against him, making it so you couldn’t look back. “Don’t need to see that. They don’t fuckin’ deserve it.” 

“You killed him,” you said, hating how small and weak you sounded. “Joel, you killed that man, he’s…” 

“Barely counted as a fuckin’ man,” he muttered. “Got what he deserved. Don’t worry about it. C’mon, almost back…” 

You were strangely numb as you let Joel guide you back to your building. He led you up the stairs and to your apartment door, something that shouldn’t have surprised you - you only lived a few doors down from him and Tommy, after all - you just hadn’t thought he’d ever paid attention. 

“Gimme the key,” he said, his arm still around you. You obeyed, your hands still shaking as you got the key from your pocket and handed it over. He unlocked the door and flipped the lights on. You were glad you’d picked your apartment a bit the day before so it was at least neat and relatively clean - at least by QZ standards it was, anyway. 

Joel lowered you gently into a chair at your kitchen table and pulled up another one next to you. You frowned. 

“What are…” 

“Fuckers got a good hit on you,” he said, looking at your face in the light, frowning. “Should’ve just killed them both but that don’t work as well for sending a specific goddamn message….” 

It seemed like he was talking to himself, at least in part. You just watched him examine you, his face drawn, eyes tracing over your skin. 

“Go get cleaned up,” he said, sitting back from you. You frowned. “You’re covered in mud. Won’t do a damn bit of good to bandage you up now if you’re a mess.” 

“Right,” you said, looking down at your body. You’d almost forgotten that part of it. “Um…” 

“Be here when you’re done,” he said. “Get you patched up. Go shower.” 

You took a last look at him, acutely aware of the mud dripping onto your carpet, before you went to your bathroom, stripped down and climbed in the shower. You tried not to think about the fact that Joel Miller was just… sitting in your apartment. 

It didn’t make any sense. It was Joel. Why had he even bothered to stop? Why had he intervened at all? He seemed to think of you as little more than a nuisance but he saved you. Killed a man for you. Told another that you were under his protection, all but told him to let the whole of the QZ know it. And now he was just sitting at your kitchen table, waiting for you to get out of the shower so he could take care of you. 

You stayed under the mercifully warm water longer than you needed to trying to come up with an answer. The best thing you could come up with was that he felt like he owed you for all the food you’d brought over the last few months - though murder seemed like a high price for some bread and dinners. 

In your almost dazed state, you hadn’t thought to bring more clothes into the bathroom with you, a fact that occurred to you when you were still in the shower. You groaned. At least there was a robe in the bathroom so you wouldn’t need to dart across the hall to your bedroom while wrapped in nothing but a damn towel. 

But when you stepped out of the bathroom in a haze of steam and wrapped in a terrycloth robe that went almost to your ankles, Joel was standing at the mouth of the hall. He looked up at you and blinked twice, frozen where he stood. You froze, too. You weren’t entirely sure why, if maybe you felt like prey under his gaze, a rabbit hoping that stillness would keep the wolf from gutting you, or if the heat inside you made you want to be cracked open wide to the very center of you and consumed. 

“Better,” Joel said after a moment before jerking his head toward the kitchen table. “In here, where it’s light.” 

“But…” you tried to protest, overly aware of your own nakedness below your robe. 

“It’s fine,” he cut you off. “C’mere.” 

You kept your eyes on him as you obeyed, moving slow and cautious for the kitchen table, never turning your back to him. You still weren’t sure why. 

The seat you were in before had been cleaned, as had your floor, no sign of the splatters of mud. Instead, there was a small bottle of rubbing alcohol and cotton balls and gauze on your kitchen table. 

“Sit,” Joel ordered. You obeyed without hesitation. He took the seat close to you again, reaching to the leg of your chair and jerking you forward, the wood groaning as it scratched across the linoleum of your floor. He took your chin in his hands again and examined your skin, his face close to yours. You could smell him, the rain water on his skin, the remnants of laundry soap, the bite of something wild that you couldn’t place but seemed to blend with his rough beard and flannel shirt. “Not exactly a doctor but don’t think you need stitches. Just gotta keep you from getting infected. Unless you’d rather go to the damn clinic…” 

“No!” You said it quickly, probably too forcefully. You cleared your throat. “No, I… No clinic. I don’t want to cause any issues and I don’t want them to ask too many questions…” 

You didn’t want anything that would tie the dead body that was going cold in the rain a few blocks away to you or Joel. 

“Good,” Joel said. He dabbed the rubbing alcohol on your cut cheek, making you hiss in pain but you held still. His fingers were surprisingly gentle, even with the rough callus of them. “You’re doin’ good, baby doll. Almost done.” 

You looked at him out of the corner of your eye, his brows drawn together as he concentrated on you before picking up the gauze and taping it over the injured skin. 

He released your face when he finished and sat back in the chair. You crossed your arms over your stomach, watching him for a moment. You’d always known that Joel was handsome. That was a simple fact, anyone with working eyes could see it. But it had always been a somewhat neutral statement. He was handsome but he was also cold and gruff and seemed to barely tolerate you outside of the unusual conversations you had when you brought something by and Tommy was unexpectedly absent. Even then, you’d gotten the impression that he was humoring you for Tommy’s sake, not out of any kindness or affection toward you. He was handsome but you’d never had anything more than a passing attraction to the man because thinking about how he must look at you, see you, hurt. 

But it was like a switch had flipped since Joel had saved you. Like the only thing that had been keeping you from looking at him and wanting him had been the idea that he wouldn’t want you in return. Some kind of protective measure meant to save you from getting attached to something hopeless because, at the end of the world, what was the point of attachment without hope? 

“Thank you,” you said when you realized you’d been quiet for too long. 

Joel shrugged. 

“Anyone fucks with you again, tell me,” Joel said. “Idiots should know better now, but…” 

You nodded slowly. Joel watched you for a moment before getting up and going to your kitchen. He got a towel from a drawer and filled it with ice before coming back and moving his chair closer to yours and pressing it against your bandaged skin. Your fingers covered his, meaning to take the ice pack from him, but he left his hand there, cradling it to your face. Your eyes met his, all dark and deep and wounded and you swallowed, hard. 

“Why did you do that?” You asked, whispering more than fully talking. Like it was a secret you were asking at all. 

“Didn’t deserve what they were about to do to you,” he said. His eyes were still on yours. You were closer to him than you’d ever been before. Your hand slid from his down his arm to his elbow, fingers twisting in the fabric of his sleeve. You watched his jaw tense for a moment. “Didn’t… Couldn’t see you hurt.” 

You leaned into him. You couldn’t help it, drawn into his strength and warmth, the comfort of his safety and sudden kindness so overwhelming it was a force unto itself. It was almost a surprise when you kissed him, that his lips were on your own. 

The kiss was only soft and gentle for a moment. Just long enough for Joel to drop the ice pack to the floor, his hand gently holding your bandaged face, ensuring he kept your mouth at the right angle. His other hand went to your waist, grabbing you almost roughly, pulling you sharply onto his lap with a surprised squeak. You were straddling Joel and damn near naked doing it, the only thing between you his jeans and the robe that was caught between your thighs. 

You froze as his fingers tightened on you, his lips growing more insistent, the heat in you building and burning but you weren’t sure what to do with it all. 

But he wasn’t slowing down or pulling away. His kiss deepened and the hand that was at your waist moved to the small of your back, adjusting you so that your core was pressed tightly to his growing length in his jeans. You moaned into his mouth, involuntarily rocking your hips against his hardening cock. Your arms went around his neck and you pressed yourself closer to him, dipping your tongue into his mouth to taste him. Joel’s hips pressed up against yours and you could feel his bulge against you, the heat of him making your core tighten and ache. 

Joel’s hands left your face and your back, coming around to the knot on the front of your robe. He pulled his lips from yours and looked down at your body as he untied it. He looked you in the eye - a silent request for permission, it seemed - and you didn’t stop him as his hands slid inside the fabric and pushed it away from you. 

Your skin was still warm from the shower and the shock of the cool air against you made you shiver. Joel didn’t seem to notice. His hands moved almost reverently for your waist, then your breasts, his callused fingers running over your soft, smooth skin, cupping the heavy globes of flesh, running his thumbs over your pebbled nipples. 

“Fucking Christ,” he breathed before kissing you again, your tits still in his hands. You pulled him closer, tighter, not caring if you seemed like some kind of rabid whore as you ground your leaking slit down on his still clothed cock. 

His hands ranged over you as he all but devoured your mouth, grip getting harder, kiss getting more desperate before he separated from you once more, panting for breath, pupils blown. 

“Let me fuck you,” his chest was heaving. He didn’t say it like a question or even a plea. He said it like it was a foregone conclusion, that he was going to have you and this was a formality. 

You could only nod and he shoved your robe to the floor before taking you in his arms and carrying you to your couch. He ripped his shirt over his head and cast it aside before hurriedly stepping out of his boots and shoving his pants and underwear down and off, his cock full and hard, making your eyes go wide. It’s not like you were a virgin or anything, you’d been in your early 30s when the outbreak happened, you’d had your fair share of men. You’d just never seen a cock quite that thick. 

Joel looked down at you on the couch, one of his hands wrapping around his length and stroking it once, twice, before gathering the precome leaking from his head and spreading it over himself. 

“Joel,” you swallowed hard as he adjusted your legs and climbed between them. “I don’t think…” 

“It’ll fit, Baby Doll,” he was still breathless as he jerked himself. “I’ll make it fit. I’ll take care of you, don’t worry…” 

You nodded, not really sure you believed him, but the gnawing need inside you was overwhelming any resistance you felt as he lined his fat, almost purple head with your weeping hole. You sat up on your elbows, watching where he was going to enter you - or try to enter you, at least.  

“Already so wet,” he ran his head up and down your slit, gathering your slick. “Make you feel so good, fill you up so good, promise baby…” 

He pushed himself inside you then, a grimace on his face until his head almost popped into your tight channel, pulling a shocked gasp from you. He was hardly inside you but you could still feel the burning stretch of him. His thumb went to your clit and brushed it at first, making you shudder, before working you in tight, firm circles. He fucked just the tip of him in and out of you, keeping the pressure on your sensitive nub as he did. You rocked your hips against him, you couldn’t help it, your orgasm already closer than you’d expected it to be. 

“See?” He panted. “Told you I’d take care of you.” 

With that, he thrust into you the rest of the way, making your eyes go wide and a high pitched whine leave you. You couldn’t look away from where he was filling you, the stretch unlike anything you’d ever felt before. He was so big you could see the outline of him between your hips, a foreign swell where he’d made space inside you to fill. 

“Joel,” you whimpered below him. You could feel him twitch inside you, like he was inches away from orgasm already. “Fuck, I need a minute, you’re too big, I need…” 

“Fuck,” he groaned, tipping his head back, his hands finding your waist. But he was still inside you even though you could feel that he wanted to fuck you hard and fast. Your body adjusted, the almost painful strain of taking him fading to an overwhelming fullness that had you starting to rock your hips against him, desperate for more stimulation. “Fuckin’ Christ, gonna lose it with you doing that, Baby Doll, I need to fuck you, I gotta, won’t hurt you promise I won’t…” 

You nodded but you weren’t sure it even registered with him. His grip on your waist tightened and he pulled back from you - slow at first - before thrusting all the way back in, the force of it knocking the air out of you. You groaned as Joel started to fuck you, hard and fast and needy, his thick cock stretching you with every motion. 

“Knew you could take it,” he panted. “Told you I’d make it fit.” 

You just whimpered, one of your hands finding your clit, the other your breast, working yourself in both places as he pounded into you. Your channel grew tighter around him, your orgasm close. 

“There you go,” he kept up his almost brutal pace. “Fuck yeah, make yourself come on this cock, come all over my fuckin’ cock while I wreck this little pussy, do it, fucking come for me.” 

You couldn’t help it, you came so hard you cried out with it, your hands stilling as you pulsed over Joel and he fucked you through your orgasm. He never stopped, never even slowed. If anything, he slammed into you harder and faster and your overwrought pussy almost hurt with it. 

“Fuck, can I come in you?” He asked. “Please… fuck… please, gotta come in you, need to come in you, fuck Baby I’m coming, gonna fill you up, fuck!” 

He pressed himself deep and exploded inside you there before you had a chance to tell him either way, the hot ropes of his come coating your inner walls. He collapsed forward onto you, his head over your shoulder and pressed into the cushion of your couch as he caught his breath. You could feel him leaking out of your spent hole as he went soft inside you. You slowly, hesitantly put your arms around him, stroking his back for a moment. Part of you was unsure what, exactly, had just happened. If it meant anything at all. 

“Fuck,” he sat up from you and pulled his cock from your body. He was glistening with the blend of you and him together. He looked down at you, still a little breathless, as you were splayed out before him. You remembered, suddenly, what it was like to look down at a chicken you’d split while butchering, all hollowed out, its only remaining purpose - to be consumed - laid bare. “Fuck, I… I don’t…” 

You sat up on your elbows again and looked down between your legs. His come was leaking from you. You looked back up at him, acutely aware of your vulnerability but hiding anything from him felt wrong. 

“It’s OK,” you said quietly. 

“No,” he shook his head. “I… I’m sorry, I…” 

He stopped and got off the couch, getting his clothes from the floor. He pulled his underwear and jeans on quickly before retrieving your robe from beside your kitchen table. He lowered it gently onto your stomach. You stared at it for a moment before sitting up and sliding it on. You cinched the tie around your waist. 

“Are you…” he trailed off as he shrugged back into his shirt, his brown eyes ranging over you again and again. 

“I’m fine.” 

He nodded. 

“Right,” he said. “Right, OK…” 

He stepped into his boots, not bothering to adjust the laces. But then, he only lived a few doors down. 

Oh God, he only lived a few doors down. 

“I shouldn’t have done that,” he said quietly after he was fully clothed again. “I… I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize,” you said, getting up and crossing your arms over yourself, thankful that your robe was long and covered most of you. “I… I wanted it.”

“Right,” Joel nodded. “That… we can’t do that again, OK? It’s not smart. Probably best if we…” 

“Sure,” you just nodded again. “Yeah, OK.” 

“Good,” he said, going for your door. He stopped to look at you. “Take care of yourself. Let me know if you run into any more trouble.” 

“I will,” you nodded. “Thanks, Joel.” 

He gave you a nod and just left you there, his come dripping out of you and his bandage on your cheek. 

That was the first time you fucked Joel Miller. 

It wasn’t the last. 

You came by a few weeks later, almost positive that it would just be Tommy home but it was Joel who answered the door. 

Once you got through the awkwardness of the hellos and the handing off of biscuits, you tried to leave, even though your core was tight and achy being so close to Joel again. Like he’d imprinted himself inside you, the shadow of him still there as a reminder. But Joel wasn’t having it. He grabbed your shoulder and pulled you around to face him before pressing you back into the wall and all but shoving his tongue into your mouth. He fucked you right there, against the wall of his living room, and when your thoughts weren’t blinded by orgasms you were just praying that his brother didn’t come home and find the two of you like this. 

When it was over, he stepped back from you, his eyes wide as he panted for breath and said over and over that it couldn’t happen again. That it wasn’t smart, not when you were neighbors and you were all stuck here like this. That he didn’t want any kind of anything with anyone. That it was a waste of time. 

It took until about the fifth time for Joel to stop saying it couldn’t happen again. For him to just accept it. He showed up at your door most nights now. He had for more than a year now. You weren’t entirely sure what your relationship actually was. You slept better when Joel was wrapped around you, even when he jerked in his sleep as nightmares plagued him. If you had an utterly miserable day, he sometimes listened to you vent about it before he fucked you silly. He brought you things he thought you’d like when he made smuggling runs outside the QZ, like a magpie who sought out books and baking equipment. You made him dinner and cut his hair when it got too long and didn’t ask questions when you bandaged up his knuckles at the end of a long day. 

But Joel had never so much as told you that he liked you, let alone anything close to love. Even though you loved him. It had taken you some time to realize that you had. You’d become numb to a lot since the outbreak. Love was a risk, one that your subconscious mind seemed itching to keep you away from. Especially from someone as distant as Joel. You’d been fucking no one but him for more than a year now and you’d only learned within the last month that he was a contractor before the end of the world. 

You wanted to do something nice for him. Something that might let him start to love you. At least like you as something more than someone to fuck, anyway. And you had the perfect thing in mind. 

That day, Joel rolled you over in the early morning hours, kissing you deeply in the dark, enough to start to wake you up. 

“Have a good day,” your words were slurred and mushy in your sleep but he seemed to get the picture. 

“Think you’ll have an easier time of it, I’m on sewer duty,” he kissed you one more time, just a peck on the lips. “See you tonight.” 

“Mmmm.” 

You waited until you were sure Joel was gone for the day before you turned on the lamp beside your bed and found Joel’s watch on the nightstand. 

He never took the darn thing off except to sleep. He always wore it, every day. Except the days he was on sewer duty. He left it at home or at your place then, the face of it cracked and the mechanism so broken it didn’t work anymore. But he still wore it every damn day. He’d never told you why. 

You ran your thumb over the broken glass of the face for a moment before setting it back down and getting dressed in your kitchen uniform and pocketing the watch.

Your shift started in an hour and a half, giving you what you hoped was enough time to get the errand you’d been planning done. You had to venture most of the way across the QZ to do it, traveling to the black market shops where you knew a lot of what Joel smuggled in wound up. It was still early there, people setting out what was on offer, and you found the one person you knew of in the QZ who dealt in things like jewelry and watches. Even though he’d always struck you as slimy every time he’d talked to you when you’d walked by his stall when on the hunt for something else. 

“Hey there pretty lady,” he smirked. “Finally coming to see me?” 

“I was wondering if you could fix something for me,” you said, getting the watch out and handing it over. “It’s my… it belongs to my friend. The face has been broken forever and I don’t think it tells time anymore. Think it’s fixable?” 

He took it and frowned down at it, turning it over in his fingers. 

“Kind of a piece of shit to waste the energy on fixing it,” he said before looking back up at you. “Could find you something better, get you a deal…” 

“I’d rather get that one fixed if you can,” you smiled. “I don’t mind the price.” 

He nodded, looking back down at it.

“Well, it’s beat to shit,” he said. “But I’ll give it my best shot or find something good to replace it with, how about that? Even buy this piece of crap off you, I’m sure I can use it for parts. Give you a discount on the watch itself.” 

There was a twinge in your gut at that, the idea of maybe trading Joel’s watch away. It must have sentimental value if he wore the broken thing that much. Or maybe it was just force of habit? He didn’t have one that worked but felt naked without it? 

“Sure,” you smiled. “When do you think you’ll know?” 

“Tomorrow,” he said. “Come back, see me. I’ll let you know what I can figure out.” 

You walked to work excited to see Joel that night. You were sure he was going to like the watch thing. Maybe it could be the start to something new, something good. After so long of living in limbo with him, you sure hoped it was. 

***

Joel fucking hated sewer days. 

They paid the best but it was disgusting work. The only worse job, in his opinion, was burning infected bodies. At least the sewer didn’t have dead kids. 

Otherwise, it was worse.

He went by his apartment first to shower and get cleaned up before heading toward yours. 

Joel was reluctant to admit it even to himself - especially to himself - but he’d grown attached to you over the last few years. 

He’d never meant to fuck you. 

It had been an accident, the first time. Or, at least, as much of an accident as fucking someone could be. He’d always thought you were pretty. You were beautiful, truly. Beautiful enough that he couldn’t pretend that you weren’t. So he moved on from that fact. But you were also sweet and kind, nicer to him than he deserved. He tried to keep you at arm’s length but you’d somehow managed to insert yourself into his life in ways he hadn’t expected. He liked being around you, he liked to look at you, he liked to imagine what it would feel like to be inside you. Falling into fucking you had been easy, so damn easy.

It helped that you didn’t ask anything of him. That you put up with shit from him that he doubted you’d have tolerated in the before times. But you were lonely here, that much was clear, and Joel was someone. He took advantage of that fact, he knew. He knew he should be better for you. Try to be more. Try to be something at all. But he wasn’t sure he had it in him anymore, if it had ever existed for anyone but Sarah at all. It seemed like it would be cruel to both of you to try. 

So he didn’t. 

He was lucky that you seemed fine with that. Even if he really wasn’t. 

He beat you to your apartment. Not surprising, sewer shifts started early and ended early, and he let himself in to wait for you, going to get his watch off the nightstand first. 

Joel felt naked without it. Almost like he was betraying his daughter when he didn’t wear it, that he’d somehow decided the last thing she’d done for him wasn’t good enough anymore. But wearing it on sewer jobs was too big a risk. If it fell off there, he’d never find it again and he wasn’t sure he could live with himself if that happened. So he left it wherever he slept the night before - as likely to be your place as his anymore - and always put it back on the second he got cleaned up. 

But it wasn’t on your nightstand. He frowned, looking on the bed - you made it every day, like that shit still mattered - but it wasn’t there. He got down on his hands and knees and looked around the nightstand, below it, under the bed. He ripped the sheets off and shook them out, took the pillows out of their cases. His heart was pounding. It had to be here it had to. 

He went to the bathroom next, maybe he’d taken it off in there the night before even though he never had before but he searched there, too. He was taking all the cushions off your couch when he heard your key in the door. He kept searching as you came in, not even looking up at you. 

“Joel!” He heard you drop your keys and your bag and then your hands were on him, pulling him back from the couch and making him stand up straight. He was breathless. He had to find it, it had to be here. Fuck, what if he put it on this morning and it fell off on the job and he hasn’t noticed? What if it was gone? “What are you…” 

“My watch,” he said, looking around the room for where to search next. “I… my fucking watch, left it here this morning, almost positive I left it here but I can’t find it and I need that watch, Baby Doll, I gotta…” 

“Joel,” you smiled a little, putting your hands on his forearm. “It’s OK. You did leave it here but… well, it was supposed to be a surprise…” 

His stomach dropped.

“What did you do.” 

You took your hands back, smile fading at his tone. Your eyes went a little wide. 

“I noticed that it’s broken,” your voice was quiet. “And I thought it was something that might be fixable…”

“What the fuck did you do?!”

You shocked back from him. Joel had never so much as raised his voice to you before and he was screaming now. 

“I took it to a man across town,” you said quickly.  “He said he might be able to fix it or find a good replacement and…” 

“I don’t want it fucking fixed!” He screamed, pressing closer to you and you flinched back. “I want it the way it was! I want it the way it was when my daughter fucking died!” 

You stared at him for a second. He’d never told you about Sarah. He didn’t talk about her. It hurt too much to even consider it, he kept her to himself, her memory saved for quiet spaces where he could let it overwhelm him. 

“Your daughter?” You whispered, reaching for him. He stepped back from you, couldn’t handle your fucking hands on him, not now. “Joel, you never… I didn’t…” 

“She gave me that watch!” He wasn’t yelling now but there was a tremble in his voice, the barely contained rage slipping through. “She gave me that fucking watch and the day she died she got it fixed for me. It got fucked up by the bullets that killed her because I didn’t do my fucking job as her father, I didn’t protect her! That watch is all I have left of her and you…” He shook his head, his resolve cracking and yelling again. “You fucking gave it away! How could you be that fucking stupid? That fucking careless? What the fuck were you thinking!”

“I’m sorry,” you said softly. You were crying, voice shaky. “I… I didn’t know, I just wanted…” 

“You think I give a shit what you want?” He yelled, towering over you. “Think I give a shit about you? You’re just some stupid fucking girl I use when I need to get off and you…” 

You were cowering back from him and he knew he was scaring you but he couldn’t feel anything past the sharp pain of loss enough to care. 

“I’m sorry,” your voice was so quiet he could barely hear you. “Joel, please…” 

He glared at you with so much force it made you flinch and stalked out your front door, not bothering to close it behind him. 

Joel took the stairs down to the street two at a time and set off, walking quickly as night fell and rain started in a steady drizzle over him. He could think of a few places you’d probably try to take the watch. If he could find it in time… with all the fucking smuggling connections he has in this godforsaken town. He had to be able to find it. He had to. 

But he searched all night, went to every goddamn black market dealer he could think of. He was only able to find about half of them, some out who the fuck knows where, and none of them had the watch. 

It was daylight again when he returned home, soaking wet and exhausted. He glared at your door as he passed, going to his place to shower and try to warm up. 

But without the distraction of searching, the desperate drive to do something because he could, he was forced to feel while standing in the steam and the water. 

The pain of the loss of his daughter was there, sharp and acute when he realized he may never again touch something she had also held. The permanence of that somehow making her loss more real than it had been in years. It was gutting. He’d rather be shot or stabbed or have the shit beaten out of him than feel this. At least that was tangible, something he could heal from and not this constant, consuming pain. 

But there was also you. You, who had become the only bright spot in this goddamn place. You, who held him when he woke up in a panic and told him that he was safe and that it would be OK. You, just about the only thing that had made him smile in years and who looked at him like he was something worth wanting. Looked at him like there was still a point to him at all. 

You’d tried to do something nice for him. You hadn’t known any better, he knew that. He’d just never let you in. Never even told you Sarah existed let alone about the way that she died. How he’d held her, how Tommy had to drag him away from her body, how all he’d wanted to do was join her and he couldn’t even do that right. He’d never told you any of it. He couldn’t blame you for that, not when he was already afraid of how much he cared about you. He was even more terrified of what he knew he could feel for you if he just let himself. It wouldn’t even be hard. Not feeling it was like fighting against gravity. It would only take one slip and he’d fall into it, he knew that. 

He got out of the shower and sighed, trying not to think about the watch. About the things he’d said to you. He’d been so panicked, so angry. He had tried to hurt you. Said things he knew were cruel because if he was hurting he wanted you to hurt, too. 

But he wasn’t proud of that. He didn’t want you to hurt. He wanted to take care of you and protect you. You were kind and thoughtful and this fucking place hadn’t chewed you up and spit you out yet. He wanted to help you stay that way. Instead, he’d tried to hurt you. 

He sighed and got dressed before going to knock on your door. It was your day off, he expected you to be home. Probably reading or baking something. Because apparently cooking all day during the week wasn’t enough, you had to do it on your day off, too. 

“Hey!” Your next door neighbor came outside but her face fell when she saw Joel. “Oh, sorry. I thought you were…” 

“I’ll tell ‘er you’re looking for her,” Joel said, looking back at the door, waiting for you to answer. But he didn’t even hear you inside. He frowned. He had a key, it just felt wrong to use it after the way he’d spoken to you but maybe he’d need to…

“Thanks,” your neighbor smiled, a plate in her hand. “She’s always making things for my daughter, I finally had enough extra to return the favor but I haven’t seen her since she left last night and…” 

“Last night?” Joel’s frown deepened. “What do you mean, when last night?” 

“Kind of late,” she frowned back. “After dark, I was just coming back home when I ran into her. Seemed like she was in a big hurry, looked like she might have been upset. I told her I had something for her and she said she’d be back later. I don’t think I missed her but…” 

Joel’s heart sped up and he shoved his hand in his pocket, finding his keys. He tuned out the neighbor and had to fight to keep his hands from shaking as he opened your door. 

Your apartment was still torn apart from when Joel had been searching it, couch cushions still all over the floor, coffee table askew. He ignored it, half walking, half running to your bedroom. 

“What happened?” Your neighbor hovered in the doorway. Joel ignored her, too. He looked in your room, still in total disarray but empty, your uniform on the floor where it hadn’t been before. Your bathroom was empty. 

“Fuck!” Joel smacked the wall. You’d left, gone somewhere and not come back. But you’d planned to come back, you’d told your neighbor that you were going to be back later and you hadn’t come home. He went to the woman in the doorway, her eyes still a bit wide as she took in the mess he’d made of your apartment. He took her by the shoulders and she blinked up at him in surprise. “Where was she going? Did she say? Tell you anything at all?” 

“N-no,” she stammered, frozen in Joel’s grip. “She didn’t, I’m sorry, I don’t…” 

Joel released her, running his fingers through his hair for a moment. Had you gone to try to get the watch back? He’d been so upset, so cruel… You must have. It seemed like something you would do, immediately go to try to fix it. He turned back to the woman, cursing the fact that he didn’t know this about you, that he had kept his distance from you so he wouldn’t know things about you and fall into you in the way that was so tempting to do. 

“Know what markets she goes to?” He asked. “Especially for any contraband shit?” She just blinked at him for a moment and he resisted the urge to yell at her. That’s what got him into this situation, losing his fucking temper at someone who didn’t deserve it. He took a deep breath, keeping his voice calm. “I think she went to look for something but I need to know where that would be so I can go find her. Do you know?” 

“Yeah,” she nodded after a moment. “Yeah, there’s one across town, in the south end. I’ve run into her there before…” 

Joel was out the door before she finished talking. It was one of the places he’d gone the night before but hadn’t found anyone to talk to. He certainly hadn’t seen you there. But it was at least a starting point. He’d find you. He had to. 

***

You stared at your open door for a few minutes after Joel left, in too much shock to move. 

Joel had a daughter. A daughter who died. The watch had been from her, of course he wouldn’t want it fixed, of course he would wear it every day. And you’d given it to some slimy guy in the contraband market. 

After a while, you could make yourself move. You closed your door and went to your room. Joel had turned that upside down, too. Of course he had. Because he was desperate and you’d made him that way. 

You got changed quickly, leaving your uniform in a pile on the floor, grabbed a handful of ration cards in case you needed to buy the watch back, and headed out. 

“Oh, hey!” Clara, your next door neighbor, almost ran into you on the stairs, her two-year-old on her hip. “I was just going to pop over, I made…” 

“That’s so sweet,” you cut her off. “But I’ve gotta run, I’m so sorry. I’ll be back later and should be around tomorrow…” 

“OK!” She called after you as you took off. “Be careful out there!” 

You moved as quickly as you could manage toward the market, hoping that you could find the man, that he hadn’t started doing anything to the watch, that everything would be OK. Even if Joel hated you now, he shouldn’t lose the one thing he still had from his daughter because you hadn’t thought to ask him about the damn watch. 

You breathed a sigh of relief when the man was still there, closing up shop, when you ran up. 

“Why hello again,” he smiled, a smile that was smug and lecherous. “Haven’t been home to check my stash for parts yet, pretty girl, but if you wanted to come back with me I bet I could find a way to give you an even bigger discount…” 

“That’s OK,” you said, a little breathless. “I actually just want the watch back, just the way it is…” 

He frowned. 

“It’s still pretty useless…” 

“That’s OK!” You said quickly. “Just… please. Please say you still have it.” 

He sighed and opened a box, rifling around in it for a moment before pulling it out. But he held onto it, running his thumb over the face of it. 

“I was expecting something for fixing this,” he said, glancing up at you before looking down at the watch. “Had plans for those cards…” 

You pulled a few ration cards from your pocket and held them out. 

“Please,” you said. Even though he hadn’t done any work. You didn’t care. “The cards are yours, just give me the watch.” 

He looked almost surprised that getting cards out of you had worked but he took them and gave you the watch. You looked at it for a moment, the broken glass in the face, the time frozen  at 2:15. You tucked it in your pocket, the fist that had been clenched around your heart loosening. 

“Thank you,” you smiled. “Just… Thank you.” 

You started at a more reasonable pace back for your apartment. You’d go to Joel’s, return the watch, apologize again and hope that he wouldn’t still hate you once you fixed it. At least you hoped he wouldn’t be hurting as much, he didn’t deserve that, not after everything he’d been through. You could fix that for him, at least. You had to. 

You were so relieved at getting the watch back that you weren’t paying close attention to your walk home. Yes, it was dark and raining and late but you knew the way and, since that day more than two years ago when Joel had saved you, everyone seemed to know you were protected. That you weren’t someone they messed with and expected to live. In hindsight, it made you feel like the QZ was safer than it was. So safe that you were fine walking home alone from a shady corner of town, far from FEDRA guard posts and people you knew. 

It was a stupid mistake. You realized that when you heard a voice in the dark. 

“Well well.” 

The sound sent a chill down your spine. You recognized that voice, the voice of the man who had tried to kill you once. 

You froze, eyes wide, an animal caught in a trap. 

“If it isn’t Joel Miller’s little FEDRA bitch,” Pickett emerged from the shadows, his hands in his pockets, a few men at his side. Your eyes darted between them. There were six of them that you could see. There was no way you could fight off that many. Hell, you probably couldn’t even fight off one. You’d never been a fighter. “Awful far from home aren’t ya?” 

“Heading there now,” you said, voice shaky. “Joel’s expecting me…” 

“Well that’s too bad, isn’t it?” He prowled closer. “Guess you’ll have to keep him waiting just a bit longer.” 

“You don’t want to do that,” you finally were able to make your legs move, backing away from him. “You know what he said…” 

“But he isn’t here, is he?” He smirked. “And he’s the one who left his little toy out for just anyone to take. If you mattered all that much to him, don’t think you’d be out here all alone at this time of night.” 

Your eyes darted, looking for the best way to run, but your mind was distracted. The man was right. You didn’t matter to Joel, he’d told you as much, that you were just some stupid girl he used when he needed it. You were just some stupid girl and you were going to wind up dead in the shitty part of the QZ and he’d never get the watch back, the one thing he had left of his daughter, because you’d been too stupid to ask about it. For some reason, that part hurt more than the thought of dying. There wasn’t much to life in the QZ, certainly not much that made life worth living. Joel had become the one thing you looked forward to. It was hard to mourn your own destruction when there wasn’t anything left that was really worth living for. 

You tried to run, slipping in the mud as you went. But you were turned around, too panicked to look at street signs or pay close enough attention and, when you wound up at a dead end, you were cornered, the men closing in on you as you backed into a wall. 

“Please,” you whispered. “It won’t make a difference to him or to FEDRA, if you want to hurt them, I’m not the way to do it and…” 

“Maybe not,” Pickett smiled in a way that was more like the bearing of teeth than an actual smile. “But you sure will be fun.” 

Your eyes were so glued to his that you didn’t even see it coming when the first blow sent you to the ground. 

***

Joel made it to the market in record time, out of breath and bones reminding him that he was in his 40s now and he’d spent his life breaking his body to survive. He scanned the stalls quickly, finding the man who was the most likely one you’d have gone to, watches and jewelry out on a table in front of him. As if anyone could afford that shit now anyway. 

“How can I help you?” The man asked, smiling up at Joel from his seat behind the table. “Looking for something special for a lady friend, perhaps?” 

“Looking for my…” he paused. Technically, you weren’t anything to him. “My friend. She would have come here yesterday with a watch…” 

“Oh,” he laughed. “Yeah, I know her. Such a pretty thing, a little disappointed she only decided to give me the time of day when she needed something…” 

“She was here?” Joel asked, brows raised. 

The man smirked. 

“Answers are gonna cost you.” 

Joel ground his teeth for a second before shooting his arm forward and roughly grabbing the back of the man’s neck, shoving his head down and slamming it into the table, the man giving a yelp of pain when his nose crushed against the wood. 

“Fuck!” He swore as Joel pressed his face against the table. He squirmed but Joel held him down. “Jesus Christ, man!” 

“Was. She. Here.” Joel’s teeth were clenched, his chest heaving. 

“She was here!” The man cried out and Joel released his neck. He panted for breath for a moment and sat up cautiously, cradling the back of his neck. “She was here, last night, she came by, wanted the watch back, she seemed desperate.” 

“Where’d she go from here?” Joel demanded. 

“What?” 

“Where!” Joel screamed, hand curling into a fist, ready to beat the answer out of him. 

“Back the way she came!” He covered his head with his arms. “Same place you came from what I could see, please!” 

Joel stepped back. 

“When was it?” 

“Late!” The man said quickly. “Late, she came by late. Right at the end of the day, I was closing up shop, it was dark and raining…” 

So you’d made it this far. You just hadn’t made it back home. 

“Anyone who runs around here who would give her trouble?” Joel asked. “Keep her from comin’ home?” 

“Plenty of people,” the man looked at him like he was insane. Joel glowered at him again and he flinched. “But most likely, Pickett’s gang, saw a few of them last night prowling around, they’ve been causing trouble around here lately. If she ran into trouble, it’s probably with them!” 

Joel nodded slowly. Pickett. He knew him. That was the man he’d saved you from before, the jackass had been building up a following of FEDRA hating idiots who seemed bent on causing trouble and hurting people as a way to feel strong by being cruel. 

He knew where to find them. 

Joel ran there, a crumbling building FEDRA hadn’t done anything with yet that he and Tommy had run drugs to a few times. He pulled the knife he kept at his belt free before he pushed the door open. Whether you were here or not, these were men he wouldn’t care about killing. 

The first one was just inside the door. Probably meant to be standing guard but not paying attention, flipping through an old Playboy instead. Joel caught him off guard. He wrapped his hand around the handle of the knife and used it to bolster his punch, the blow landing so hard the man fell backwards off his stool. Joel kicked his gun away and kneeled on the man’s chest, putting the blade to his throat. 

“Your boss bring a woman here last night?” Joel asked. 

“Not your business, is it?” The man sneered. Joel ground his teeth, covering the man’s mouth to muffle his screams before taking the knife in his hand and thrusting it into the man’s shoulder. Joel waited until he quieted some, gasping below his palm, before he spoke again. 

“Scream and I’ll gut you like a fuckin’ fish,” Joel snarled. “Now I’m just about done askin’ nicely. Did your boss bring a woman here last night?” 

“Yes!” He said, pleading. “He did, she’s still here, I think she’s still alive, they’re on the second floor, please…” 

Joel freed the knife and thrust it into the man’s throat. He didn’t need him anymore. He picked up the gun. 

It was easy, finding you then. He shot men as they approached, only half a dozen or so between him and you. But none of them were Pickett. 

He found the room he was sure you were in, two men stationed at the door who fired at him when he came around the corner. He ducked out of sight, readied his stolen weapon and exposed himself just enough to shoot. He dropped them both before they could land a shot on him. He took their ammo and changed his clip before listening at the door for a moment. It was quiet. 

Joel opened the door slowly, cautiously, but he didn’t need to. You were the only one inside, on the ground in an unnatural looking position. He holstered the gun and ran to you, kneeling beside your prone form. There was a rattle in your breath and you’d been beaten to hell. Even in the dim light, he could see the cuts on your skin, the parts of you he could see swollen and discolored. They’d savaged you, your body broken and bleeding, and you’d only been out here because of him. Because he’d been so angry at you for something that wasn’t your fault. Fuck, you were the only thing left he cared about besides Tommy and you were bleeding because of him. If you died because of him, if he’d failed you the way he’d failed Sarah…

“Please,” you rasped, trying to lift your head but giving up, your eyes closed. Your voice surprised Joel, he hadn’t expected you to be conscious. “Please… I don’t…” 

“It’s OK Baby Doll,” Joel said, his voice thick. “It’s me, you’re OK now. Gonna take real good care of you, you’re alright…” 

“Joel?” You lifted your head and managed to open one eye. The other was swollen shut. “Joel, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” 

Before he had a chance to stop you from moving, you reached a shaky hand into the pocket of your jeans and pulled out the watch. You held it out to him, your fingers bloody. 

“I don’t think it’s any more broken,” you winced. “I tried to protect it, I’m sorry…” 

He took it from you, your blood on the face and the band, a tightness in his throat he was struggling to breathe around. 

“S’OK Baby Doll,” he said, putting it on his wrist quickly and reached for your head, to try to brush some bloody hair back from your skin, but you flinched away from him. “Nothin’ to be sorry for, it’s not your fault, none of this is your fault.” 

You took a deep, shaky breath like you were going to argue with him, but you didn’t get the chance. 

“Look who it is.” 

Joel stiffened, getting to his feet slowly, turning to face him. 

“Almost expected you to not show up,” Pickett smiled. “She seemed damn sure she didn’t mean anything to ya, swore up and down that you wouldn’t even notice she was gone.” Joel’s stomach twisted. “Took you so long I was starting to believe her.” 

Pickett prowled closer. 

“Course I’d hoped she’d be enough to draw you out,” he said. “Getting tired of tip-toeing around you and your fuckin’ brother. But if she wasn’t, at least she was fun. Didn’t even get a chance to let my guys have the real fun with her yet, though. Figured I’d see if we could knock her teeth out first, bet she’d suck real good then. But looks like you took care of them, so I guess she’s off the hook.” 

Joel roared and lunged for Pickett, swinging for him as he did. The other man had either underestimated Joel or overestimated himself, because he tried to dodge him and failed, Joel’s shoulder catching him in the chest and sending him sprawling to the ground. Before he had a chance to even get his bearings, Joel was on top of him, screaming as he pummeled him, raining the blows down on his face again and again and again. 

For the first time since you’d disappeared, Joel felt like he was really doing something. This man had taken you, hurt you, was going to do more to you. Joel was doing what he was supposed to do. He was protecting you. He felt it in every blow he landed on the man’s face, in every collapsing structure below his skin, in every splash of blood. It wasn’t until he had stopped breathing and the blood had stopped pouring from his open wounds that he stilled, panting for breath as he looked at the mangled face of the man below him. 

He stood, flexing his hand and looking at it, the split open knuckles, the mix of your blood and his own and Pickett’s on the watch. He wiped his hand on his shirt and went back to you, kneeling again. 

“Joel,” you whimpered. 

“He’s dead,” Joel said, his voice thick. “They’re all dead. Warned ‘em. Told ‘em what would happen if they fucked with you.” 

He watched you work to swallow around your damaged throat as you nodded. 

“You’re safe now,” he said softly, fingertips gently tracing your face where you didn’t look battered. You flinched at first but relaxed. “Need to wait a bit to take you home. Too bright outside right now, FEDRA fucks would stop us…” 

“Don’t need to worry about me,” you struggled to sit up for a moment before giving up and going limp on the floor. “It’s OK. Already did more than you should have. Go home in case FEDRA comes poking around and…” 

“Not leaving you here,” he said gruffly. 

You winced as you swallowed and fought to open the one eye you could. 

“Don’t put yourself at risk for me,” you managed. “I’m not worth it, you know that and…” 

“You’re worth it, Baby Doll,” he said softly, his hand on your face. “About the only thing in this fuckin’ place that is.”

You flinched as you frowned. 

“No,” you shook your head a little. “No, you said…” 

“Don’t matter what I said,” he cut you off, trying to ignore the stabbing guilt in his chest. Fuck, the things he’d said to you. “I didn’t mean it, didn’t mean a fuckin’ word of it. I was pissed at myself, I was hurting, I took it out on you and I never should have said or done any of it, Baby Doll, never. I didn’t mean it, not a word of it and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I wish I could take it back, I wish I could take all of it back…” 

He lay beside you, delicately holding your face, his eyes tracing over you. He memorized the damage done, the signs of all the pain he knew you were in. All because he hadn’t told you about Sarah, because he’d hurt you, because he’d failed you. He wouldn’t do that again. He was not going to let you suffer because of him again. You tried to move closer to him but he put his hand on your hip and held you still, instead moving toward you. You winced as you pressed against him but it didn’t stop you. He held you gently, feeling you breathe against him. 

“I’m sorry, Joel,” your voice was muffled. “I didn’t mean to, I promise…” 

“Shh,” he hushed you, tears stinging his eyes. He’d done this to you. Made you feel like, even this broken, it was your fault. “It’s not your fault. None of it. I’ve got you, Baby Doll. Gonna take care of you. Gonna take such good care of you if you let me. Please let me.” 

You were quiet, passing out against him. He held you like that, letting himself feel for you, letting himself fall into that dangerous place with you. He stopped fighting the gravity of loving you until it was dark enough to safely carry you home.

He got you cleaned up, patching you up as best he could before giving you some pain meds from a stash he hadn’t traded away yet and carrying you to bed. He held you there, too, his body curved around yours, shielding you from anything that could hurt you and promised himself, silently, that he’d never see you like this again. Because he was going to take care of you. He was going to protect you, he was going to love you, until there was nothing else left of him and he was dead and gone. 

He ran a gentle hand over your head and pressed a kiss to your hair, the glass of the watch reflecting the light of the moon, sending fractured splotches of light on your wall. He wasn’t going to fail again. That much, Joel knew. 

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #kit answers #send asks #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #smut fic #joel miller x oc

[vroomvroomwee]

I don't think enough people realise how incredible Aziraphale is.

He's always known how good and kind Crowley is. Even from the beginning. Now imagine being in his place, after meeting such a wonderful and sweet angel, and hearing that he's fallen, that he's evil and wicked. No wonder he was sceptical and on edge at the garden... except Crowley was still the same, chatty, witty, and funny angel he met before the beginning. Crowleys fall terrifies him because in his mind, if someone like that can get sent to Hell, then what hope is there for me?

So he learns just how thin the line is between being an angel and a demon, just how close he's cutting it, just how little it takes for him to fall as well.

In his eyes, Crowley's brilliant. He's resourceful, intelligent, capable, everything he wants to be. Everything he's told he should be. And it creates so much confusion in his mind. How can someone like that fall while I'm still here? And it doesn't help one single bit that he's falling in love with him.

Aziraphale isn't stupid. Despite what everyone says, he's very in tune with his emotions. So much so that Crowley fails to keep up with his logic and decision-making. He realises that he's falling in love with Crowley, and that causes panick in him. He's an angel. He's not supposed to fall for temptation.

So he has two options: try to prove to himself Crowley's good and therefore justify his own feelings, or to prove Crowley's evil, and that's why he fell. So... in a way, he does both.

Every time Crowley tries to convince him of his malice, Aziraphale proves him wrong, sees right through him. All the while constantly putting a wedge between them, of good and evil. "But, you, are fallen." "I'm good, you, are evil." Even though he knows deep down that's not the truth, which is precisely why he's saying it, he knows Crowley is good, just as he knows he himself isn't fully. And no one must ever find that out.

Not only is he keeping Crowley at a distance for his own safety, but also for Crowleys. Sacrificing both their happiness for each others safety. He knows precisely what Hell will do to him if they ever find out how kind he really is.

And it would be very very simple if he just stopped hanging out with Crowley, except... he can't. No matter how hard he tries he's always pulled back to him. And over time he's testing his limits, what can I do? Am I allowed to do this? Food? That's forbidden? The Arangement? etc.

And you can't really blame him for fearing Falling. Not just burning in boiling sulfur as each of his cells is being transformed in the most agonising way, but also having to spend eternity there as well as the humiliation and resentment he'll get from Heaven. "My lot don't send rude notes." he knows how horrible and terrifying it is down there, and he is all too aware how he won't be able to cope. Too weak, too mellow, too soft.

Crowleys kindness is constantly putting him on edge because he just can't understand why he's a demon. While angels like Gabriel and Michael, who always put him down, are apathetic towards humanity, are narcissistic and emotionless... are still up there. 6000 years he's spent wondering when his time will come. When he'll be pulled down to Hell.

He's so goddamn kind that it took him 6000 years to realise Heaven is not all that it should be. Kinder than Heaven could ever hope to be (and after the "stay back" from ep6 we can see how thay he is capable of being harsh and ruthless, which means he actively chooses to be kind, which makes him all the more extraordinary and astonishing for it). And I'm not even going to go into the strength it takes to manage to break out of the brainwashing that Heaven has done to him. Thousands of years of being humiliated, feeling worthless, not good enough, not angelic enough, not even appreciated. And despite all that feedback and ridicule, he's never given in, never relented, never let anyone modify or change him, has never lost his kindness, his softness, his generosity even after all that he's seen and been through. And that is so fucking incredible.

Validation and praise being at his fingertips, if only he could let go of his individuality, his uniqueness. Of himself. Thousands of years of it, and he has never surrendered to it. Never betrayed himself, kept his pride and his self-worth despite other people trying to rid him of it.

And he knows this. He's too clever not to. He knows just how thin the ice is he's standing on. Even at the beginning, which is not long after the Fall if I might point out, he's defying orders and keeping Adam and Eve safe, risking his own safety for the safety of others. And he still doesn't back down.

But he can't for the life of him keep away from Crowley. Because of how much love he has for him, how much affection. "He's risking his entire existence," and he'll do it again because that's who he is. (Not many people will put their lives on the line for the person that tried to annihilate them, completely destroy them in every plane of existence. Actually, no one ever will. Except him.)

He. Never. Backs. Down. Not from Armaggedon and not from the Second Coming.

It's not that he doesn't love Crowley enough, it's that he loves him too much. This is an angel so full of love that he's scattering himself, breaking himself, tearing himself apart, trying to give it to everyone. To Crowley, to humanity, to Earth. He's risking destruction for the things he loves. Both physically and emotionally. He would sacrifice his own happiness, his own future with Crowley just to save humanity. And he does it again and again and that is so fucking amazing, so fucking incredible that I don't believe such a selfless character exists in any other piece of media or television.

(Also, this is all mostly referring to his emotional strength, but let's not forget how he faced literal Satan and smote around 20 demons in just a matter of seconds.)

Edit: Just wanted to add what one of you pointed out in the comments.

Aziraphale realises that running away with Crowley isn't really a relaxing and peaceful life as Crowley thinks it is. Far away from humanity and it's pleasures that they both love and engage with, something that brought them close in the first place due to their shared love for it, and constantly on the run from Heaven and Hell. Aziraphale is doing this for Crowley, so that he can be happy, so that both of them can be together. Not only that but he offered Crowley his angel status back, since he thought that would make him happy again, since he hoped that he could one day see that same smile that Crowley had when they first met, that smile that he hasn't been able to bring back all these years.

Aziraphale is now in Heaven, the last place he wants to be, the place he barely escaped with his life from, a place that hates him, filled with angels that despise him and want to see him suffer or worse, and he's utterly and completely alone.

He's trying to save the entire universe alone.

Think about that for a little bit.

Edit 2: I think it's worth noting that Aziraphale isn't perfect. And that's the point. He doesn't need to be perfect. He's naive and gullible and sees the world in black and white. He still needs to learn, to grow, to deal with these things. Soon enough, he'll realise that despite all the hope he has that he could fix Heaven, it just can't be mended, something Crowley has learned a long time ago and desperately tries to shoe him. He'll realise the system is corrupt, and no matter how hard he tries, it won't change because it wasn't designed that way. And it just makes him all the more brilliant. He isn't perfect. He has flaws, and he makes mistakes. He's an angel, but he's the most human of them all. And he's incredible all the more for it.

#to cut it short he's one of the most amazing characters ever written #good omens #goodomens #goodomenss2 #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #good omens 2 #aziracrow #good omens season 2 #goodomens2 #goodomensseason2 #good omens s2

[actuallysaiyan]

We Can Do Whatever You Want To Do(Ishida Uryu x Fem!Reader)

warnings: smut, handjob, talk about virginity, kissing, alcohol, semi-public sex, Uryu and Reader are in University word count: 1.3k pairings: Uryu Ishida x Fem!Reader summary: you and Uryu are in the same classes in university and you thought at first his arrogance and attitude pissed you off, but it turns you on. taglist: @beneathstarryskies. @seireiteihellbutterfly @misty-angerose. @yeowangies a/n: My first time writing Uryu, so I hope it's good <3

You met him when you were in your first year of university. Whispers of his academic excellence and many scholarships due to his achievements follow him around, though he doesn’t show any kind of real reaction to it. You found yourself so intrigued by Uryu.

After a few months of being in the same classes as him and trying to get to know him, you find out that he tends to keep to himself. And  Uryu doesn’t really bother to make too many friends. You’ve noticed some people coming to visit him from time to time, but the relationships he has with them seem deep rooted in something you can’t quite understand.

Even as time continues on, you find yourself way too curious about him. What kind of thing does he  do in his spare time? What kind of interests does he have outside of science and medicine? Did he have a love interest? Has he ever had a girlfriend?

Everything comes to a head when you and Uryu are at the same party. He’s keeping to himself in the corner, talking a little bit to a few people here and there that are in the same class as both of you. You take a drink from your beer and you head over to him.

“Hmm?” he barely acknowledges you, which makes you even more turned on.

“You’re Ishida-san, correct?” you ask him, your stomach doing flips.

He smirks at you, “Yes. Good to know you can recognize your classmates' names.”

That comment has your blood  boiling. How could he say something so rude to you like this? You roll your eyes and finish off your beer. Despite the way he acts, he holds himself with an air of someone who knows it all. Something about this suggests he’s not too lucky in the love and intimacy department. Meaning….he’s probably a virgin despite being in his early twenties.

The next time you meet up with him, it’s at the end of your class for the day. You make your way over to him, tapping him on the shoulder. He turns around, towering over you and sports that same smirk as he always does.

“Yes? What is it?”

His tone is just driving you insane, “I was going to ask you to help explain something to me, but honestly if you just want to act like a self-centered jerk,, nevermind.”

Students are walking past you and him, making it seem like there’s just no care in the world for something like this. It’s like you and him aren’t even a part of this student body right now. There’s this tension that grows around the two of you. He takes your hand and pulls you just a little closer. Your heart flutters and your stomach does a flip. Why does he keep making you feel like this? He’s just an asshole classmate.

“Listen, if you really want my help, I’ll help. Just ask nicely.” His tone is authoritative and it makes you want to slap him.

“F-fine…can you help me with today’s lecture?”

He smirks again, “Of course. It was rather easy.”

The urge to push him off you and to just give up on your plan was strong. Yet you followed him into an empty classroom. He sits at the teacher’s desk, opening up his notebook. You close the door and without him noticing, you lock it as well.

Innocently as you can, you make your way up to him. When he looks at you, you flutter your eyelashes flirtatiously. He falters for  a moment,  freezing completely. He’s wondering why you’ve changed your attitude towards him completely, but he finds it endearing that you’re trying to be kinder to him.

What you don’t realize is that you’ve been invading his every thought since that night at the party. He loves the way you take his attitude with a grain of salt. He keeps up these walls for a reason, though he’s ready to tear  down some of his walls to show you his real self.

Suddenly, you’re backing him into the corner. His eyes widen beneath his glasses, his cheeks reddening at the way you’re so close to him. Your actions are so bold and brazen..

“Uryu,” you purr softly in his ear. “You’re a virgin aren’t you?”

His heart skips a beat, “H-huh?”

You laugh, “I know you heard me. Answer the damn question.”

His mouth gets dry as his brain short-circuits. Uryu thought he had really hidden that aspect of his life so well. How could you tell just by being in class with him and the few interactions here and there that he was a virgin? How were you so clever?

He’s about to answer when your lips come crashing down onto his. Your hand drags down his chest to his waist, then down below his belt. You squeeze softly the growing bulge. He moans against your lips. Slowly, you begin palming him through his jeans until he’s rock hard.

“Let me have a little fun, hm? I bet you’ve never even had a handjob before!”

Your words sting and hit him right in the heart. .It was true, he was a virgin and he had never  even kissed before. You were taking a lot of his firsts. He can barely believe his own eyes when you unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants. His cock is throbbing and twitching. There’s a precum stain on his underwear now.

“Awhh look at that, you have to be  a virgin.” You tease him as you pull down his underwear.

His cock slaps against his lower abdomen as you release it from the cotton confines of his briefs. The thick precum smears against his button-up shirt. You smirk when you gently graze his cock with just your fingertips and he lets out a whimper.

“Oh you’re gonna blow your load so fast, aren’t you?” You taunt him.

He shakes his head, “N-no. Shut up!”

You wrap your fingers around the throbbing length. He’s shuddering as you begin to stroke him. You make sure to go slow. You aren’t convinced that he won’t just pop within seconds. 

“Look at you, trembling and shaking. What a pathetic little virgin you are,”

Your words are turning him on more than he’d like to admit. It’s making him angrier but also his cock keeps throbbing every time you call him a virgin. He’d love to lose his virginity, but he’s so wrapped up in his studies and academic career that he forgets to make meaningful relationships. He just thought he would end up having to marry someone first to lose his virginity.

“Shut up,” he spits at you. “At least—ahhh fuck— ‘least I’m not failing.”

You squeeze his cock a little harder, “I’m not failing. You really think I’m failing? Let me tell you something,”

You lean in closer, and you start to stroke him faster. Your other hand comes down to massage his balls and he knows he’s done for now. His eyes roll back in his head and his knees begin to buckle. It’s all too much.

“The only reason I asked for your help today was because I wanted to jerk off your cock. You got that?”

He can’t even reply. You’ve rendered him into a blubbering and whimpering mess. His glasses are all fogged up that he can barely make out the blur that’s your fist stroking his cock. You tug on his balls ever so gently and that’s all it takes for him to fall off the edge.

“Fuck! Fuck I—I’m cumming!”

His hips begin to buck up into your hand, spurts of thick cum beginning to coat your fist and the bottom of your shirt. You smirk as you help him through his high. Then you slow down your pace, but never stopping it.

“Listen to me,” you begin. “If you wanna fuck this pussy, you’re going to have to be a lot nicer to me. Got it?”

He nods his head, “Yes, yes…I’ll be nicer.”

And that’s how you ended up with Uryu’s balls in the palm of your hand.

#bacon.writes #uryu x reader #Uryu x you #Uryu Ishida x you #Uryu ishida x reader #bleach Uryu #Ishida Uryu x reader #bleach x reader #bleach smut

[bcolfanfic]

Hiii!!! to take your mind to kinder and softer things: any headcannons on josies first birthday with clegan?? will her uncles and aunts come by with truly threatrical gifts that sends buck and buckys eye twitching? will she demand to be carried around by her uncle croz and never be put down for a second? will there be some godawful birthday games that leaves her uncle curt a trip to the er because a game of pin the tail on the donkey is supremely misunderstood? will there be a quieter celebration during the nights bedtime where bucky brushes back her hair and sings happy birthday softly and buck uncharacteristically plays air guitar bc hes ever so freely playful in front of his two favorite people?

i hope everything goes well for you today and tomorrow!! sending love your way ♥️

she’s just a girl living in wyoming, of course it’s horse themed.

gale and bucky have to put it (in bold) on the invitations they send out to the guys that under no circumstances are they to get her a horse, please.

demarco texts bucky and asks on a scale of 1-10 how mad he’d actually be if someone you know- hypothetically,

an 11. we are renting one that will go back to it’s horse house at the end of the day, so don’t worry about making up for us depriving our child.

this is the first real birthday celebration she’s ever had which makes gale emotional in the lead up when they’re talking about it and she doesn’t really get it.

he gets that- he never really had birthday parties growing up either. getting to do different by his little daughter makes his heart warm.

she has a few little friends from school there but it is mostly the guys and their various families that came into town for the the festivities. and josie kinda ditches her little school friends for them, whoops.

especially her moon and sun and stars uncle crosby.

has a little moment where she gets jealous of the attention he’s giving to his youngest who is just shy of a year old. and matter o-factly informs him it’s not that baby’s birthday, ‘s mine 😾

sweet thing she thinks the baby is cute and all just wants uncle crosby to herself. croz hands the baby off, and josie is quick to park herself in his arms before he can change his mind.

she’s absolutely big enough to walk, but it’s her birthday and she’s cute so uncle crosby does haul her around all day.

rosie rosenthal STUNS with a new talking customized pop up card of himself

he even provides him own replacement batteries this time, and gale tells him they ought to throw them away but he knows they won’t.

the guys spoil that girl rotten, and if it’s with some of the noisiest toys produced in the united states then well, so be it.

kenny is one of the few that doesn’t go the noisy toys route- he gets them a membership at a local children’s museum. and writes bucky his own card that makes him tear up.

because kenny remembers the bucky he saw spiraling overseas and that he spent years and tears so worried about. and now he’s here- and he just wants his buddy to know how proud of him he is.

curt doesn’t wind up in the ER but there is a little bit of a near miss when he gets lost in the haze and whacks his good leg with the piñata stick

sweet josie gets so worried, curt laughing through the pain when he hears her ask if they’re gonna have to cut that one off too (it’s just bruised, but she’s five and doesn’t really understand the one that had to get amputated was a little more injured)

gonna decide that gale plays the guitar in this au because why not. he picked it up after he came home from the war just to learn a new skill.

him sitting on the floor against josie’s bed playing it for her at bedtime while bucky sits in her little princess bed singing to her in his arms.

both guys get a little teary eyed- for more than one reason. because their baby is growing up, they can’t help but wish she was with them for her first four birthdays and because the road to get to where they are now singing their little daughter to sleep was long. especially for bucky.

but they made it to the good life damnit. 🩵

#young vets au #buck x bucky #clegan

[xenocorner]

Here's some little christmas gifts for some amazing mutuals that have made this year a whole lot more bearable with their amazing content and their amazing interactions and just being amazing in general :']

Long post ahead so divider here to spare your scrolling. (I am also probably gonna get a bit sappy so if that makes you cringe: you've been warned lol)

@lilbitofmac Thank you for being my introduction to the fandom here on tumblr :'''D I really think I wouldn't have stuck around if it weren't for your initial warmth and encouragement. Your Tony remains my fave Tony I go feral over your art orz I may or may not have the clingy ironstrange drawing as a phone wallpaper-

Hope next year is kinder on you man! I know we don't really talk outside of tags/replies, but if you ever need smthn I can help with my inbox is always there.

@strxngetimes I'm just tagging this one blog because I don't want to spam all your other blogs lmao. Thank you for sharing your interpretations of the characters with us, not only the rps with other muses but also the headcanons and brainrot. It's always such a pleasure both to see you on the timeline writing with other muses and on the inbox with the disaster man.

I specially like how you include his Cloak in the mix and give it a personality- I absolutely adore the Cloak :'') So here's it being all clingy to the disaster man. Hope to see more of you having fun with all ur muses in the coming year :D

@starkkawajiri Pretty art!! Hilarious and heart wrenching character interactions!!! I love your designs and lore building so much. Fanboying over the same disaster man and making him suffer always brings a smile to my face. I've wanted to draw your Strange for a while now, so this was also the perfect excuse, I love him so much you have no idea-

Can't wait to see more of your amazing designs and lore stuff for this AU! (and anything else you create next year :])

@nekojetto I think your Strange is the purest Strange there is and the fact that it's based off Supreme makes that so much more impressive. Your animatics are simply breath taking, and whenever I go back to check your concepts and sketches for character interactions I always get a smile on my face :D

I'm sorry I haven't gotten to the collab just yet :'') Plz know I still have it in mind, haven't forgotten about it and am still just as excited to finally get to it as I was the first day!

@infiniteeight8 Your words make me cry and laugh so much all the time :'') You write the disaster men so beautifully both in serious, fluffy, angsty and funny situations. Reading ur stuff keeps the creative juices flowing!

I remember you liked the vampire Stephen prompt you were sent, so here's some of that, even if it's more halloween-y than christmas-y.

#mac I wasn't entirely sure on how to draw you but I saw u using Liam Hemsworth and Jensen Ackles so I went with them for refs #hope that's alright :'] #Archer I wanted to draw more of ur muses but time got the best of me :''') plz know I adore how you write all of them #you really make their characters justice hhhh

[altocat]

Plz make us cry Alto

Seph and Lucrecia reunion 🥹🥹

RAISED

PART 7

Vincent settles in with the group during the brief journey to the mountains. He is confused at Sephiroth's often childlike, messy mental state but Zack explains everything, right down to the entire plot of CC up until now. Vincent gradually ingratiates himself with the group, determined to help heal Sephiroth as atonement for his sins. And now that Cloud is out of commission and Genesis has been dormant for some time, the group is confident they can safely make it to the cave in one piece.

Sephiroth is nervous, naturally. Nibelheim really reopened a lot of old wounds. He's still trying to place together how much of himself is human, an alteration under Hojo, a false memory, or part of Jenova. The idea of him coming from Jenova sickens him to his core, makes him angrier than ever about all the things Shinra did to him. Rather than turning his anger towards humanity though, Aerith continues to emotionally strengthen and encourage him, telling him that regardless of whatever answer he finds, it's up to HIM to decide who he truly wants to be. She eventually reveals what she is (she finds out during one of the early Shinra encounters) and why she feels she's beginning to truly understand her place on this planet. To pave the way to a brighter future. She and Sephiroth are relics from an ancient world. They've come into existence in order to lead the way to a NEW world, a KINDER world.

Zack, meanwhile, is still trying to figure out what role he plays in all this. What happens after they heal Sephiroth? They still have no idea where to go. And that's not even telling what's going to happen with Genesis or Cloud. How do you begin again when your world is so messed up? His relationship with Aerith is getting closer. But Zack is tired. And he's been really pushed to the brink this entire journey. More than anything, he needs time to process all the trauma he's witnessed, and in even bigger need for a bit of hope.

They arrive at the cave, Vincent leading the way as they weave through walls of crystal. Sephiroth becomes increasingly more agitated and on edge, sensing something, something that tugs at his chest, something lost, brutal, shattering. His mangled mind twists for clarity, nearly falling into full insanity again before the group manages to tug him forward, dragging him step by step. They can't turn back. They're so close now. And while Aerith and Zack don't know what's going on, they can FEEL it. It's here. It's real.

And at last, through years of agony, abandonment, loss, and confusion, Sephiroth finally finds what he's looking for.

He finds HER.

After breaking through the emotional formalities of greeting the group (and Vincent) Lucrecia reaches out to her son. She apologizes for everything, for the experiment, for her foolishness, for her absence. She shows Sephiroth everything from the very beginning, unfiltered, unrecognizable from the hellish truth he'd uncovered in Nibelheim. And as she envelops her son in ways she never could have before in life, she finally lets him know what he needed to hear--that this was never his fault. And that she loves him. And that maybe, in some small way, she can finally atone, find peace at last.

With the last of her energies as well as utilizing the full power of the Jenova cells inside her, Lucrecia embraces her son, restoring his mind to full sanity before fading away to finally rejoin the Lifestream, her suffering finally at its end. Sephiroth has little time to really feel her, clarity finally snapping into place just as he feels her receding from him. He can only watch as she leaves him for the second and final time, surrounded by his allies, finally healed and fully aware of the person he truly is.

He cannot have her. And he never will. But he knows now that he is not a weapon. He is not a mindless tool. He is not an alien or a monster or a victim to be brutalized by Shinra. He is wanted, cherished. He was sheltered, raised back to completion by people who truly care about him. And he will continue to protect them, help them find a new home and regain a new sense of purpose. After all, they brought him here. They never gave up on him. They are a testament to humanity's worth, to the life Sephiroth always wanted. He loves them. Just as he would have loved her. And he will fight for them, die for them if the situation calls for it.

He is human. He survives. And he survives with his friends, his family.

And for now, that's enough.

END OF PART 1

#asks #ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #sephcanons #crisis core #sephiroth #zack fair #vincent valentine #lucrecia crescent #aerith gainsborough #AU #longfic #RAISED

[milesdickpic]

His Little Girl | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader P. 70

Click here to see the master list

Hi, my lovelies! It's been a minute BUT It's finally here! Our Leia girl is officially graduating from kindergarten! I hope you are all enjoying the story! I love you all so much! ❤️ Happy reading and enjoy! 💕

A/n: Leia's big day, she's officially finished with kindergarten. Bradley gets a surprise from Phantom.

Nani: pronunciation {Nah-knee}

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: cursing, crying, but so much cuteness and love 😍

Please don't take my work, I will find you. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following day was Leia’s last day of Kindergarten and her graduation. She was away at school for a half day to spend time with her class and let them say their good-byes. You, Bradley, Hangman, and Phoenix were at home getting ready. 

Bradley was putting on a A blue, black, and white striped relaxed short sleeve dress shirt and some black pants. He fixed his collar and slipped on his chain. He was looking in the mirror position it nicely. He started to put on his belt and slightly tucked in his shirt corner to his pants. He started to comb his mustache.

You came up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist. You peaked your head around and laid on his arm. “You look so handsome, Bradley.” You smiled and kissed his exposed bicep. “You’re also showing quite a bit of chest for a kindergarten graduation.” You giggled.

He shook his head, “Gotta show off the pecks to the dads that’ll keep checking you out.” He started to laugh as he turned to you. He placed his hands on your back and kissed your forehead. “You look so beautiful, sweetheart.”

You scoffed and looked down at your super pregnant belly in your sun dress. “I look like a good-year blimp.” You looked up at him laughing. 

He shook his head and bit his lip, “No.” He brushed your hair from your cheeks, “You look absolutely beautiful. I love you being pregnant.” He placed his hands on your belly. “You are perfect, baby.” He looked at you with his puppy dog eyes. “If you weren’t already pregnant, I’d give you another one.” He smiled and pinched your cheek.

“I’m going to freaking throw up. I always come at the worst of times.” Hangman leaned against the door way of your and Bradley’s room. “You love birds ready to go? Gotta be at Leia’s school before 1.” He looked at his watch, “It’s already 12:30.” He chuckled and crossed his arms waiting for you two. 

Bradley rubbed your arms, “Ready to watch our little girl graduate?” You nodded and he kissed your forehead. “I’ll grab her cap and gown.” Bradley winked at you.

Bradley helped you into the truck. Hangman and Phoenix took Jake’s truck to the school. The back of his cabin was full of balloons, flowers, and teddy bears for Leia. Bradley grabbed your hand and interlocked your fingers together with his. He pulled your hand to his lips and kissed it. “I can’t believe our Leia is graduating kinder already.” He sighed, “Before you know it, she’ll be graduating high school.” Bradley cringed thinking of it. 

You let out a laugh, “Hold on there, Lieutenant. She hasn’t even officially made it out of kinder yet.” 

He looked over at you and smiled, “She’s just growing up quick. It makes me so sad.” He bit his lip, “And her birthday is coming up again. She’s going to be freaking 7.” He tapped the steering wheel. “What do you think she’ll want to do for her birthday?” Bradley looked over at you.

You shrugged, “I guess we just have to ask her, so we can plan accordingly.” You looked over at him and smiled. 

You all arrived at the school. Bradley helped you down from the car and grabbed Leia’s cap and gown. Bradley grabbed your hand and skipped with you to Leia’s classroom. You were both laughing as Bradley pulled you along with his high jumps and long strides. 

“Bradley! Slow down please!” You begged him in between laughs. 

“No time, sweetheart!” He picked up his pace.

You laughed louder trying to catch up with him. “I’m going to have these boys right here and right now if you don’t!” You tried to catch your breath.

Bradley stopped and laughed with you. You were out of breath and so was he. He rubbed your belly and gave you a kiss, “I guess we should skip more then!” He acted like he was going to pull you into more skipping but he stopped and just laughed, “We are close, so we can walk now, baby.” He threw his arm around you and you walked to Leia’s classroom. 

When you both walked in, all the parents were there with their kids getting them ready. Leia ran to you and Bradley when she saw you. Bradley picked her up and spun her around, “How is my graduate?” He covered her face in kisses. 

“I am so ready for 1st grade daddy!” She gave him kisses back. 

Bradley let her down and Leia came over to you and hugged you. She kissed your belly twice. “Momma you look so beautiful.” She looked up at you with her puppy dog eyes. 

You started to tear up. You held them in. “I love you, my Leia.” You pinched her cheek.

Bradley started cleaning up Leia’s face with the wipes you brought. He took out Leia’s braid and brushed her hair. He attempted to rebrand it and got confused. “Sweetheart. This is hard. You wanna take over?” He looked over his shoulder at you. 

You laughed when you saw the messy braid, “I got you, Brad.” Leia came over to you and you started to braid her hair. Bradley picked up her gown and held it up to himself. 

“Leia do you thin this will fit me?” He posed while holding it against him.

Leia started to giggle. “Daddy, stop! You’ll rip it!” You finished braiding her hair.

Bradley took the gown off of the hanger and draped it over Leia’s shoulders while she inserted her arms. He straightened it out for her and zipped it up. “Now the cap, daddy!” 

Bradley grabbed the cap and placed it on her head, “Oh, my little girl.” Bradley placed his hands on Leia’s arms as he started to tear up, “Where has the time gone?” A tear rolled down his cheek.

Leia reached for the falling tear and wiped it from Bradley’s cheek. “Don’t cry, daddy. I’m still your little girl.” Leia leaned her forehead against Bradley’s. 

Bradley cupped her face and kissed her forehead. “I have something else for you, baby girl.” Bradley went to your bag and pulled out a fresh flower lei for Leia. She gasped when Bradley showed it to her in its case. 

“Daddy’ its so pretty!” She covered her mouth with her hands. “That’s for me!”

Bradley smiled and nodded as he began to remove it from the case. “For my pretty smart, baby.” He put it over her head and positioned it around her neck gently. “So beautiful.” Bradley cupped her face. “I also got you a matching crown to go with it, but you’ll wear the after so you can wear your cap.” He kissed her cheeks. 

Leia started to tear up as she looked at the necklace, “I love it so much. Thank you.” She looked up at Bradley through her lashes. 

“Anything for my girl.” He smiled at her and kissed her nose. 

The teacher called for all the students to line up for the processions. They would be graduating with 3 other kindergarten classes. Leia gave one last kiss to you and Bradley before she want to line up. Bradley helped you over to the gymnasium where Phoenix and Hangman were already situated, saving spots for you and Bradley. You plopped down next to Phoenix. She reached over and placed her hand on your arm.

“How is our Vapor girl?” She patted your arm and smiled. 

You smiled and placed your hand on hers, “She is so excited to graduate and go to the first grade already.” You started to laugh. 

The graduation started. You all cheered and clapped for all the children that were being called. You watched eagerly as they all crossed the stage and got little diplomas and hugs from all the teachers and principal. Next was Leia. She was standing in the stair well waving to the four of you in the crowd. She was bouncing in excitement. 

Hangman hit Bradley’s shoulder, “Here comes our girl! Get the camera, man!” Bradley pulled the camcorder back up and hit record. He zoomed in on Leia, she was waving and blowing kisses to you all. 

“Leia Rey Bradshaw!” Leia skipped across the stage waving and blowing kisses to you four. 

Hangman stood up and blew a fog horn. “That’s my girl! I love you Vapor girl!” He started to whistle. Phoenix stood up and started clapping for Leia.

“I love you my Leia girl!” She cupped her mouth and yelled over all the cheering and clapping. 

Leia waved over to you all, giggling. The teacher handed her her diploma and the photographer snapped a picture as they shook hands. Leia gave her teacher a hug and ran over to the other teachers and gave them a hug. Leia put her diploma into the air and you all stood and cheered for her. 

“That’s my little girl!” Bradley yelled as he pumped his fist in the air. 

“I love you so much, Leia!” You cupped your mouth and cheered for your daughter. 

Right before she got off the stage she stopped and pointed to you all. She held her cap on her head and started to shimmy like her dad. Bradley zoomed in on her as she danced. She laughed and waved to you all one more time before she exited.

Hangman started laughing as he wrapped his arm around Bradley and slapped his shoulder. He was falling into him as he laughed, “Dude, She is your daughter! That looked like you up there!” Hangman was patting Bradley’s shoulder laughing.

Bradley started to cry. He clenched his fist and brought it to his lips. He squeezed his eyes tight, “I have a first grader. Holy shit.” He started to cry hard and Hangman pulled him in for a hug. 

“You’re gonna be okay, Bradshaw!” Hangman laughed as he hugged and patted Bradley’s back. 

You were wiping your tears as Phoenix pulled you in for a hug and rubbing your back, “Congratulations, momma!”

After the graduation, you all waited excitedly for Leia to emerge from the group of children. Bradley and Hangman were looking over all the parents trying to scout out Leia. Bradley spotted her skipping around looking for you all. 

“Vapor Girl!” He called over to her and waved his hand in the air. Leia screamed and ran over to her dad. She immediately jumped into his arms.

“Daddy! I did it!” She threw her fist into the air. Bradley mimicked her and they yelled together. 

Hangman grabbed Leia from Bradley and kissed her over and over again. “My girl! I am so proud of you!” He kissed her cheek hard one more time and tickling her side. 

“Okay! My turn with my Leia girl!” Phoenix held her hands out and Leia jumped from Hangman’s grasp to Phoenix’s. She clung onto Phoenix and laid on her shoulder. Phoenix laid her head to Leia’s and cradled her head. “I am so proud of you, little Leia! You are so smart! You 100% get that from your mom.” She nuzzled into Leia’s cheek.

Leia pulled back, Daddy’s… smart too…?” She said questioningly. Phoenix started to laugh as you all looked over to Bradley. He was not amused. 

Phoenix covered Leia in kisses, adding “MUAH!” With each peck. “We have presents for you, sweet girl!” Phoenix hugged Leia harder.

Hangman held up all her balloons, stuffed animals, and flowers. Leia screamed and bounced in Phoenix’s arms. Phoenix let her down and she ran over to Hangman. “Oh my gosh! It’s all for meee!?” 

You waddled over to Leia and she hugged you tight. You took her cap off and kissed the top of her head. You held onto her cap while Bradley placed the flower crown on her. Hangman and Phoenix placed more Leis onto Leia’s neck and she could barely see over them. She was jumping for joy as you all cheered for her.  

Bradley snapped pictures of Leia to send to everyone back home. Phoenix came over and placed her hand on your belly. “One down, two more to go, mama.” She smiled and gave me another hug. “Congratulations to you too, Mom! You got her through her first year of school.” She laid on your shoulder as you both watched Hangman and Bradley make Leia laugh for pictures. 

After a couple of pictures of Leia with her teachers, friends, and principal, you all headed back to the house. Bradley invited Phantom and his family over for Leia’s small celebration. 

Hangman started to barbecue because some of the LTJGs from work would be joining in on the fun. A couple of them had kids in Leia’s class and thought it would be fun if they could all hangout together and play. Phantom would be coming with his wife and kids again. 

Bradley helped Leia dress out of her cap and gown. He hung it up on a hanger and placed it in her closet along with some of her necklaces. He changed her into a cute palm leaf printed pattern off-the-shoulder romper he had bought her. He placed her flower crown back on her head and her Lei. 

He gave her a kiss on the cheek, “I am so proud of you, baby.” He pinched her cheek gently.

“Thank you, daddy. I couldn’t have done it without you and momma.” Leia looked at her outfit, “I love this pattern! It’s so cute!”

Bradley nodded. “You look beautiful, Leia.” He straightened out her crown. “Go have some fun. Your friends should be here in a little bit. Make sure you thank everyone for coming, okay?” He kissed her again.

“I will, Thank you daddy.” She kissed his nose and ran out of her room. 

Everyone started to arrive at yours and Bradley’s house. You met some of Bradley’s co workers and students. When Phantom got there, He had a basket full of presents for Leia and Evelyn, his wife, had made cookies. His daughters ran to the backyard to play with Leia and her friends. 

Phantom came in and sat Leia’s gift on the counter. You called for Leia and she came in. Bradley squatted down next to her and placed his hand on her back.

“Sweetheart, Phantom and Evelyn brought you some presents.” 

Leia stuck her hand out to Phantom. “Vice Admiral Lynch. Good to see you, sir.” She said it so properly. Bradley started to chuckle. 

Phantom started to chuckle as he grabbed Leia’s hand and shook it. He squatted down and gave her a proper hug, “Captain Bradshaw. Pleasure.” He poked her in her belly as they laughed together. “Congratulations on your graduation, my little nani.” 

Leia got shy, “Thank you Phantom. Thank you for coming.” She hugged him tightly. “What’s nani?” 

Phantom rubbed Leia’s back, “It means pretty girl.” He smiled at her.

Leia gasped and looked down. “Thank you Vice Admiral Lynch.” She leaned her forehead to his shoulder. 

He chuckled and patted her back. “Of course, Would you like to see what we brought you?”

Leia looked up quickly. “YES!”

Bradley looked at Leia with wide eyes. “Leia Rey.” Leia looked back at Bradley embarrassed. 

“Sorry, daddy.” She looked at Phantom. “I mean Yes, sir. Please.” Leia held her hands together and placed them under her chin as she waited patiently. 

Phantom stood up and grabbed the basket off the counter. “The girls and I put together a basket for you” He showed her everything in the basket. “It has candy, a water bottle for when you’re out at the beach, a pineapple that we can crack open right now, some sunglasses, and a little ukulele. The girls also added in some of their favorite products they use for their hair, some hair pieces, and some nail polish.” Leia looked at everything with excitement. 

“I love it so much! Thank you so much!” 

Evelyn showed Leia the cookies she made for her graduation. They were decorated nicely. Some were Hawaiian shirts, hula skirts, coconuts, plumerias, pineapples, hula dancers, and some that said congratulations grad. It was such a sweet gesture. Leia gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. 

Leia grabbed a cookie and brought you the pineapple, “Momma, can you cut this open pleaseee!” She gave you some puppy dog eyes. 

You grabbed the pineapple and brought it over to the open counter space to cut it with Leia. 

Bradley’s POV

Phantom came and put his arm over my shoulders. “Got a quick minute, Rooster?”

Evelyn patted Phantom’s shoulder, “Honey, not at his daughter’s party. Leave work for work.”

Phantom placed a kiss on his wife’s forehead, “Okay just this conversation and I won’t talk about work, baby.” He smiled at her and she shook her head and laughed before she went to join you and Leia. 

Phantom and I walked outside to one of the corners of the backyard. We over looked the mountain side. “Bradshaw, we have matters to discuss.” He was still looking out into the distance. 

I looked at him and nodded. “Sir.” He looked at me and smiled. 

“Lieutenant Bradshaw.” He patted my shoulder hard. “Or maybe I should say Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw.” He started to laugh and patted my shoulder. 

“Holy shit.” I looked at him with wide eyes. “Sir, I’m sorry. Excuse my language.” I started to laugh.

“No need, Rooster. Holy shit indeed.” He started to laugh as he pulled me into him for a hug. He patted my back hard and held me tight, “Congratulations, son. Your mother and father would be so proud of you.”

I was shaking as I hugged him. I pulled back and placed my hand on his shoulder and the other to my chest. “Oh my gosh. Are you serious? This is real. I got the promotion?” He nodded with a smile from ear to ear. I threw my head back and let out a sigh. I put my hands over my face as I laughed. “Thank you so much, for everything.” I ran my hands through my hair and hugged him again. 

“I did nothing. It was all you, Bradley. Your hard work has definitely shown and you deserve this more than anyone. I am so proud of you.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's official! You have a first grader on your hands! I don't know about you, but I cried over everyone's excitement! This was so wholesome. I am so happy hangman, Phoenix, AND Bradley were able to experience with you and Leia. And OMGG! Daddy Brad got the promotion! How do you think he will tell all of you? I will see you all in the next chapter! 🫶🏼

My party babes are in the comments 🌺🥳

#His Little Girl Bradley Bradshaw x Reader #Bradley Rooster Bradshaw #Rooster Bradshaw #Rooster #Bradley Bradshaw #Jake Hangman Seresin #Natasha Phoenix Trace #Top Gun Maverick #Top Gun #TGM Cast #HLG #Bradley Bradshaw x Reader #Bradley Bradshaw x You #Bradley Bradshaw Fanfiction #Bradley Bradshaw Fic #Rooster Bradshaw x Reader #Rooster Bradshaw x You #Rooster Bradshaw Fanfiction #Rooster Bradshaw Fic #Rooster x Reader #Rooster x You #Rooster Fanfiction #Rooster Fic #Roosterscockpit Originals #Milesdickpic #Bradshaw Twins

[madrone33]

Listened to the Circe Saga last night! (I'm in the superior timezone, 15 hours before the americans lol /j) Absolutely incredible, did not disappoint!

Here's the notes I hastily typed out during and afterwards lol:

Puppeteer:

The plucked guitar in that melody, thinking of Polites fr fr

Eurylochus sounds less autotune than in the snippet. Musta been compression.

Fuck i can't believe i'm actually listnening to it!!!

The time skip is wind I think?

"Inside we heaard a voiiice!" SO GOOD! SO SMOOTH! I LOVE IT!

Those deep strings tho- oof so good!

"What." HAHA add it to the count XD

CIRCE! It's fucking Circe!!!! Her little riff on "Go ahead and rest where-ver you liiiike!"

The party music is really cool

Her voice at "This is the price" is angelic!

Huh. The party music comes back in the Eury and Ody second verse, but it's weirdly off beat.

Second vese is a bit different from the old snippet. Ody is less... soft sounding?

Ok time to write down the overlapping lyrics.

Yeah I still don't really understand Circe's lines rip

Also, Ody's final line is strangely not emphasised a lot? It's easy to miss behind Circe.

Wouldn't You Like:

Hermes giggles are so mischievous lmao

Ody is shocked and awed at seeing his Great-Grandfather while Hermes is just there for the lols

OOOF YES! The fucking amazing bass in the first chorus!!

The rising and descending harp!

"She can TURN you into an a-ni-mal!" I'm smiling so hard rn, it's HERMES

Here in the root of this flower! So smooooth

That high note on "bEING of your cre-A-tion!" Hell yes!

Not how I imagined that Holy Moly part ngl. Thought it'd pause for a beat to let the joke sink in with Ody's "Ah." being very dry, but whatever, it works, I'm sure I'll get used to it!

Also the beat transition to the end chorus reminds me of Micheal Jackson? Or- wait. Did I just get rick rolled??

The end chorus with all the harmonising vocals and the chorus and Ody' high riffs!! It's so damn GROOVEY

Ody sounds so happy and grateful awww

Pffft Hermes that's cold bro. So blase and teasing. Also yeah, lowkey King George vibes lol.

Done For:

The ELECTIC GUITAR!!

Ody is so sassy passive agressive lmao

The LFOs!!

The chimera roar snarl is very cool!

Ody is one cocky snarky mf

Circe is bitching and sassing and sounds so done with Hermes and Ody both lmao

The HARMONIES ON THE LAST CHORUS!!!

The LFOs and electric guitar mixing!

The sound effects of the BOSS BATTLE! The heavy thuds of footsteps and the snarls. Also that's one sharp sounding sword

There Are Other Ways:

The waltzy sounding strings are so pretty!

Que the key change! And more fantastic overlapping hamonising vocals!

The... hand- drum thing? Took me off guard, still not sure if I like it.

The abrupt "I CANT." YOU TELL HER ODY!! Bro I was so tense without know how he was gonna get out of that.

Not the Penelope stringssss!! *adoring sigh* The Penelope strings... It's so fucking cool how you can just immediately tell exactly who he's thinking about.

"She's my everything... My Penelope..." AHHHHH

Just now realising that Ody tells Circe "Back at home my wife awaits for me" and Circe respects that and helps him, while him telling Calypso that Penelope's his wife doesn't deter her in the slightest. Yeah.

"12 long years" Timeline lore? Write that down write that down!

God of Tides is such a cool epithet

The "Circe" and "mercy" rhyme took me off guard in the best of ways.

And then he hits me with the breathy high "let us puppets leeeave" like bro COME ON

Nylon strings my beloved!

CIRCE IS HELPING!!!

The deep piano drop at "Problem is, this prophet is DEAD" lmao

The return of the LFOs lesss goooo!!!!

Ody sounds so baffled and hopeful and excited like SAME BRO

"There are many ways of persuasion" as in, he managed to pursuade her in a way she didn't expect!!

"Maybe showing one act of kindness, leads to kinder souls down the road..." HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK! Circe's on the mercy end of the ruthlessness scale?? Also took it to mean if she shows him mercy, maybe he won't turn and become like those strangers that dealt a heavy loss to her nymphs.

"I have been in love once before" 👀 Circe lore??

"Maybe one day the world will need a puppeteer no more..." When I realised where this was going! The END FUCKING RIFF IT'S FROM THAT CLIP! THE HIGH NOTES I LOVE IT!!!!

Odysseus and Circe friendship is real!!

OMFG THE CIRCE SAGA'S OVER WHAT????

I love it! The Circe Saga is out, and it's amazing! Thank you Jorge and Talya and Troy and Armando, and everyone else who worked on this amazing project to show us this incredible music, thank you so so much! You should all be proud!

#epic the musical #epic the circe saga #immediate reactions #long post #rambles #my posts

[thebottomfromhell]

Headcanons

Reincarnation after courtship. Human male reader, part two [here]

Reincarnation after courtship. Human male reader, part one [Original Ask]

Reincarnation after courtship. Demon male reader, part one [In progress]

Reincarnation after courtship. Demon male reader, part two [In progress]

Sorry for taking this long, I was watching some other draft to erase the ones that I would not be doing in order to favor requests (most are NSFW so they are taking a while, it always take me a while to write, but rest assured I have NOT rejected anything), then I found this one and decided to actually finish it. I really hope you like it and appreciate the patience you have with me. The University is also keeping me a bit busy, so again, sorry.

Warnings: Slightly mentioned cannibalism, Mentioned child abuse, Mostly implied (slightly mentioned) sexual content, Mentioned child neglect, Implied police brutality, Mentioned use of drugs, Mentioned non-detailed injuries. I'M BUILDING THE REINCARNATED WORLD MYSELF.

Gyutaro:

"OONIIIIIIII-CHAAAAAAAAAN!" Yep, you knew that shriek. You were just minding your own business, but hearing Daki scream made you let go of the bags you were carrying from your groceries to run directly at the origin of the voice. As you expected, by the time you were there, she didn't need help anymore. But you managed to find Gyutaro.

He is just beating a guy who was "just being friendly" (yeah, right. That dude is clearly in his twenties and she looks 14, harrasing a minor. But again, with Japan's law's unless we got evidence there was a violent sexual assault, and even then the mf's would side the bastard before the girl, the guy was not doing anything wrong by law) his little sister. When the guards try to hold Gyutaro for excess of violence you come in and lie to cover him up. You tell that the guy tried to kattack Daki Ume, and since it seems he was trying to drag her (towards a clear group of friends who were intimidated by both Gyutaro and the guards, so they escaped), the camara where on our favor. "Thank you for your help there, ne. I almost went to jail because those pricks don't know how to do their job. Ne, call me Gyutaro."

Daki Ume tells you that he changed his name once he was old enough, so legally that's still his name. Gyutaro skipped higher education to start working, now he is on at least 3 jobs, to pay all the bills, since their mother died some years ago. She trusts you a lot faster here, but you did help her big bro to not get in trouble for protect her, so maybe it's just matter that you made a good image. She even offers you her phone and her brothers (forget that, she just found you handsome and with a nice character, but again, the last one is because you helped.)

You end up helping by babysitting Ume while her brother is working (she thinks you are visiting, doesn't know that Gyutaro asked you to keep an eye for her since you see her so much). You also end up bringing gifts for both, and while this time you can't base your gifts in the ones Gyutaro likes (or at least here you don't feel so confident that he would like to hear he looks like a mantis after getting a dead one), Ume helps you. She is a lot kinder than Daki, but this is just a girl, Daki was both the head and shadow of a prostitution district (still clearly a kid from her behavior, but a powerful one and that is always a dangerous mix). Still, is weird to have her asking if you like her brother only for her to start shipping you both together.

"You've been helping us a lot, ne... even getting stuff and food for us. Ne, thank you for that." He is still a bit insecure, but at the same time proud, of his appereance. It seems his mother used to beat and starve him, since he was an accident and because of health issues she could not abort him. That is why he was born ill-looking, but you don't really care about that. Gyutaro has always been the one to confuse sympathy and empathy with pity, so you don't express none of those when he tells you this. "Wow, your mom had problems, didn't she? Did those health issues include something mental or she was just a yes the asshole?" He laughs at the reddit reference "You are so dumb, that isn't funny! Ne!" He likes broken humour. He also likes you a lot, he always feel good around you.

None of them suspect anything weird about you. Ume thinks Gyutaro is the one who told you how to treat her, the same the other way around. You know she isn't religious, but her brother is. The thing is that they are also not hard to treat good, most people just don't like them because of Gyutaro's appereance and his sister's attitude, but as long as you are nice to him, Ume will at least tolerate you. On the other hand, this guy you courted in your past life will tolerate almost anything besides going for his little sister. Esverything and nothing is different at the same time. The routine is different, the needs, the situation, but their character is the same.

Daki has always been Gyutaro's light, that hasn't changed. You know that you'll be forever second to her, and that they both come in a package. You can't be Gyutaro's special someone without having to win Ume first and the other way around. You soon start living at their apartment and taking a part-time job to help out. Still as friends, but you know he needs to get used to the idea that you want to be with him before you ask.

Your first day as boyfriends, after two years of living with them, started like this. "Hi Y/N! Are you making breakfast? Is onii-chan still sleeping?" You smirk at her so she pauses and runs towards her brother's room not without screaming "You pervert!" You both got drunk and started to make out in his room the night before that, besides some kissing and touching you, you just slept that night. Togethers... in the same bed. You remember asking him to be your boyfriend and he accepted. After that the relationship goes smoothtly, to the point you feel confident about telling him about your past life. Maybe too confident, because you the environment is so chill that you tell him everything on one afternnon you are just pretending to be dead on the floor while Ume is studying with a group of friends and staying over.

"What the fuck? Nee, what did smoke?.... Ne? Do you still have any left?" At first he thought you were high, crazy or something, but he didn't mind it. Still treated you as always. Slowly he began to actually think about it and, again, he is religious (Shinto), it actually started to make sense. "Holy shit, ne, it tottaly makes! What the fuck?" Not that after the first shock of such a story making sense he cared about it. You were fine with that, the past is the past and you both are building a future. (By the way, you both told Ume and she thinks it's a high dream you shared or something.)

"Nee, Y/N. Would you like to marry me in this life? Ne? Ne?" You don't need to think about it, you can finally marry him! You couldn't in your past life since Daki did not approve and you both didn't want to upset her (and again, she was always first). Now you don't have that problem, on the contrary she wants to help with the wedding. Considering you have a limited budget you make something small and private, a micro-wedding, with at most 10 people each (or in Gyutaro's case Daki and her plus nine or less), but you let Ume choose a cake and help you with the dressing.

It's nothing compared in what it could have been in the Red Light District, where Daki had a generous amount of riches she didn't need and a whole setting dedicated to satisfy men that could pay for it. Still, you would not have changed it for nothing. "I love you Gyutaro." You told him home, you have no money for a Honey moon (you could, but that would mean taking from the savings to get Daki into specialized education, since you are both hesitant she will manage to get into college by her own), but you don't mind it. Just cuddling at night with your finally husband is more than enough. "Love you too, Y/N."

After some few years, once Ume is an adult, Gyutaro starts to study again and manages to form himself into a career. You support him and provide for both as he goes through the higher education. Once he finishes he gets a well-paying job rather fast, you almost envy as it took you a lot more for you to get a position with a similar salary, but he is more talented than he wants to admit. "C'mon, dear Husband. We must celebrate you. Finally life is starting to reward you." You tell Gyutaro once he got his first raise after one year of work. He just shakes his head as he makes eye contact with you. "Ne, I think my first reward has been a little more time, even though he is too dumb enough to realize it. Ne."

You both have a very good life, almost as if it was a compensation for something. Who knows? The important thing is that you're good.

Sekido:

You went to a club with some friends who convinced you to try it, a hand passes over your shoulder when you were deciding wherever to drink or not, as a drunk breath presses against your ear. "Hey, hot-stuff~" Says a familiar voice behind you before he is pulled off you with a hit in the head "FOR FUCKS SAKE, STOP CAUSING TROUBLE KARAKU!" And that is your past husband.

"I'm sorry for my brother's behavior." Sekido apologizes to you after beating Karaku, ready to drag him away. You inmediately offer to help him out, already knowing the green-eyed clon- brothers, they are brothers now. "I don't think he is in a state where he can walk." you answer honestly, and as expected, you end up carrying Karaku in your arms (you were having him in your back at first, but after having him gagging for a while you were afraid he was going to throw up over you and this way makes it easier to do damage control).

Sekido stops you once you arrive to your home "Thanks for the help, sorry for taking your time." He says as he takes his brother on the front door, and you know he isn't sorry. On the opposite, he is glad you took some weight, in this case both metaphorically and literally, off him for a while, and that is something Sekido always loced about you. "No problem, I don't mind doing something like this again if you need some help with him or anything else. Let's exchange contacts so you can call me if you need anything." He rejects you at first, but after you promised to not call him first and told him some specific thing that you could do and knew he would find helpful, Sekido agreed.

To be honest, you didn't expect a call the next morning, saying that he needed someone with their eyes on Karaku as he took Urogi to the hospital, since he fell from a tree and got a contusion. When you get there Aizetsu is the one to open the door. "I need to do some things outside, besides buying groceries. I will take out youngest off you, so you don't have to worry about that." Youngest? "If you do anything to Karaku-nii, you sick pervert, I will roast you and use your skull as a drum! Only I can hit him!" The 12 year old that is using words he probably doesn't even understand. Still, you take care of Karaku (which means you didn't let him get out of the house or drink anything with alcohol) until Sekido came back.

"Thank you again. Maybe I should start paying you and having you here daily." He jokes when you are both alone, but you take it a step further as you grab his wrist gently and make eye contact with him "I wouldn't mind." No asking for dates, no romantic speech, no attemp to make this anything but showing your interest at the same time you show how willing you are to help, to be by his side. Everytime he starts calling you more and more into their house, having you helping around, inviting you lunch or dinner, sometimes even breakfast if he called you in too early. You spend your breaks together and can actually feel Sekido opening up to you.

It's Karaku who makes a move for both of you "Will you become Sekido's boyfriend or what? Because you guys have been almost dancing around each other for around 8 months!" Sekido hit him in the head, hid himself in his room (it's also Karaku's, but who cares?) for around 4 hours (you couls hear him hitting things, hopefully he didn't break anything), came out after you and Aizetsu served dinner and pulled you for both of you to talk alone. "Maybe... just this once, urgh! I can't believe what I'm going to say. We should listen to Karaku, ok?" He pinches the bridge of his nose as he says the last part, evading look at you and partially hidding his face. You have to hold up a chuckle, you can tell he is actually being shy "Yeah, I would like that." You actually buy Karaku one of those body oils he loves but miracously uses to thank him.

It's good, not exactly smootly, but it wasn't like that in your past life. Sekido is too angry for that, more often than not you have to tolerate some insults and help him when he loses his temper, but besides that, it's nice. You go out together, have fun, work, and make sure the other is alright. You are still working and going to his house, but more often than not Karaku leaves to "friend's" house to give you some privacy and you get to sleep together. No more than sleeping, though, for Karaku's dissapointment. "I would rather wait for that. I want to take things with calm."

Sekido is religious, a buddist, he even owns a Khakkara and takes care of it, just like when he was a demon (except taking care of it, he didn't have to. He could always have another one from his palm) so you know that you won't be called crazy for believing in reincarnation or demons or even saying that you remember those things. Still, you do want to take things with calm. You rather having Sekido to fully trust you first, specially since you know he will be angry.

And you where right "You knew me before! I knew it was weird how good you were! You knew who I am and took advantage of that knowledge to introduce yourself in my life!" You know he hates the fact that you had all that information (and to think you were not that specific) and he didn't, so you are not surprised when you are thrown out of the house and blocked. And again, is Karaku the one who makes something about it (you owe that man a lot, thankfully is doesn't ask for anything in return), he arranges a "blind date", you both knew he was setting you up together, but it was an excuse. It was a bit weird tl see Sekido again after 2 months, but you are glad.

"Are you still angry?" You ask him, already knowing the answer, but wanting to give Sekido de chance to communicate what he is feeling. "Yes... it's just so infuriating. The fact that you knew everything... and I knew nothing." At least he is being civil, but that might also be because we are in public. Karaku set us in a nice "teahouse" (tea room, actually), one of those traditional places one doesn't want to ruin it's atmosphere. After a while you manage to get enough courage to talk. "I'm sorry." Sekido rubs his face with his palms "It doesn't matter. It's not even your fault that you remember and I don't. Just don't ever hide something like that from me again!"

You end up trying again, this time slower. Just like last time Sekido goes ahead with the marriage, surprising you by telling you he has all the plan ready once he is the one to ask for your hand (at least you get to give your opinion and help out this time), by this time Zohakuten is already out of higher education. You both skipt the Honeymoon to keep an eye on the other brothers, then keep your life as always, all good, making sure to talk things out with Sekido. He seems more relaxed every day that passes, once he moves out to your place. His brothers visit every once in a while and you both also visit to make sure they haven't made anything less than legal yet.

"I love you, Y/N...." he tells you half-sleep one night, "Love you too, Sekido." Yeah... life is good.

Karaku:

You went to a club with some friends who convinced you to try it, a hand passes over your shoulder when you were deciding wherever to drink or not, as a drunk breath presses against your ear. "Hey, hot-stuff~" Says a familiar voice behind you before he is pulled off you with a hit in the head "FOR FUCKS SAKE, STOP CAUSING TROUBLE KARAKU!" And that is your past husband.

"May I get your phone?" You ask Karaku after Sekido apologizes to you, before he can grab your the husband from your past life away. You have no idea if it's because of the alcohol or the beating Sekido gave him, but Karaku actually hands you his cellphone. You share contacts before giving it back to the almost unconcious man. Still, you eschange numbers and send him a text to go out sometime. The next day, early in the morning you recieve a test inviting you to have breakfast in a tea room.

As you expected, he arrives well dressed (not formal, but definetely took time in his looks) and in a hurry, a bit late (big deal since it's Japan, but you don't mind it) but willing to laugh it off. "Heya boy! Thanks for meeting me here! Really hope you let me invite you fully today." He winks as he passes his arm over your shoulder to guide you inside. "Sorry about last night, I promise I am usually way more charming than that. Order whatever you want, as an apology." He smiles, before purring an acted regretful face, pouting "Oh, damn. How inconsiderated of me. The name is Karaku, and yours is?"

The date is nice, Karaku is playful and just a bit more than friendly, making sure you have a good time. Shows interest, makes attempts to make you laugh (managing in some, failing in others), complimenting, he is showing his best face. You do have to wonder how much of this is fake, because you remember your past husband not being this... this good. The guy was very charming, good at flirting and giving pleasure, but he was genuinely just chasing a good time most of the time. This, especially so soon, it's weird from him.

"You don't have a drug problem, do you? Like... any drug." You ask once in the first day you saw him look for the closest smoking room in his phone. Karaku just laughs as you follow him there after he payed for all of what you had in the tea room (meaning there will be another date after this). "Well, I guess with how drunk you found me last night, it makes sense you are worried the guy you are dating is some kind of addict." He looks relaxed as he answers, checking the number of ciggars he has left. "It was a bet of who can drink more, a bit irresponsible, but that is why I always have Sekido looking after me, in case I do shit like this. Usually I don't drink that much, things are meant to be done sober." (And by the time you realized it, you took up Sekido's job. "Just make sure he doesn't die, if he texts you ignore him and if he calls you then you have 15 minutes to find him.")

Once you reach the smoke room he turns around to give you a kiss in the jaw "If you want to know more you will have to pay the fee. Next time you invite, handsome, so choose a nice place~" he says before getting inside. Dates with Karaku are fun, sliping at times into how he was in his more impulsive way of being, the one you remmeber. "You don't have to put an act for me, I like how messy you can get." The dates become more frequent after that, as he invites you less to different type of places and more to do things you both like a lot.

Now, telling him about your past... it's Karaku, it should be the easier one, but... no matter the years you spent together as husbands they did help you to get a general rule about him, but not to know Karaku almost fully. He is constantly changing, doing a different job (he is a freelancer), having different favorites every time you ask (food, movie, book, you name it, it always change) and he is always trying different things, making it hard to reach his pace.

Karaku can't suspect a thing, so he take it as a random comment when you ask if he is, at least, religious. "Urg, religion? Nah, more of a spiritual guy. Souls and spirits, besides things and activities that like you to their purest form, exist. Everything else is bullshit." It relaxes you a bit, since you are not in a hurry to tell him, to be honest you are not in a hurry for anything. You don't ask Karaku to become your boyfriend, you just keep this dates, a state more similar to the courting of your past lives. Part of you thinks that you should hurry, that unlike then you son't have hundreds of years to let Karaku fall in love with you before becoming his husband (even if that is not what happened), at most you would have around 30 years at most before your youth starts to die. "I want to take things calmly, don't make this a chore or an obligation. Just have a nice time until we can't get tired of it." Something similar to what you wanted your last life.

But similar to your past life, Karaku is not a person of patience. This time it take more, it's not a "if you want to wait 'till marriage lets marry now" that make him step so foward in such a short time but a "We link. Spiritually we are almost bound, went to a kannushi and checked it. And I like you so much already, let's just get marry... if you take me." Is the first the he tells you once you open the door of your home, surpirsing you. "Why this so sudden?" He smiles before telling you the story of how he had a dream (after taking some cuestionable substance, how did he even get this "peyote"? Is it not a plant of North America?) of both of you being married and inmortal.

You let him in, serve him some green tea to help him clean his system as you tell him everything, with details. Karaku just listens interested in everything you say. About onis, the demon king, the slayers, the Kizuki system, the demon blood art he was made of, the courting, your marriage ceremony, your life together, everything you remember you told him, really not knowing how he would react, just knowing he would believe you without reacting badly. "Wow.... just wow. Damn... that is a lot. I really need to process it a bit, I will come back tomorrow for dinner. Kay?" The next day he arrives he brings a paper with a design for expensive rings, having some traits with your demon appereance. "I will pay for them, but I want you to be my husband again. Will ya?" (He told you he is an interpreter, studied a good amount of years in the U.S., made contacts.)

You obviously say yes, and Karaku inmediately starts staying in your home, Urogi having been waiting outside with all his stuff "Congratulations! You make a good couple! We will make sure to visit!" Seems they had all ready. This time, at least, the wedding is not a surprise, so he lets you to do the administrative work as he pays for it before going to relax (he never changes) but you make a nice shinto ceremony with a Honeymoon on the mountains to ski centers.

After that, besides the fact that you live together, is not that different from dating, but you like it. Karaku seems to like it too, so is fine, pleasurable. "Tell me again how I was basically the demon of pleasure, will ya?" Everything is good.

Urogi:

"Are you ok?!" You ask worried to the guy who just fell from around 9 feet high tree at the Hama Rikyu Garden Loops, as you were doing a bird watching trail. You remember your husband having talons and wings, so you have been nothing but a bird lover in this life. When you get closer to see this young man, who clearly has a contusion, you recognize those giggles. "Hey, you are quadruplets too! Nice to meet you all!" It's Urogi, who just fell, and not for you, from a damned tree. It's good to see he is still as an animal as always.

You obviously took him to the clinic, after helping him sit down and gave him some water. Since Urogi had problems to explain what happened due to the hit, distracted by the siptoms and looking a bit tired, you were ask to tell what you saw, only to ne interrupted by a loud "WHERE IS THAT BITCH?!" Is that Sekido? Now that you recall, Urogi did mention quadruplets, so it should mean the others are here too.

After calming down the angry clone guy, he thanked you for bringing Urogi here, and after the doctors checked him out, saying he needed mostly to rest and be careful the with the bruises (is he actually still a demon? How is Urogi even alive? Thankfully he didn't hit his back or head) Sekido takes his brother home. Only after that you realize you didn't ask for his number... damn it! Still, you keep doing bird watching trails, hoping to find him again, and that this meeting doesn't include taking anyone to the doctor.

In one of those trails you answer a call from an unknown number "Hey, you are the one who helped Urogi, the dumbass that fell from a tree in the Hama Rikyu Garden, right?" Karaku? You answer that yes as he keeps talking "See Aizetsu? I told you to trust more in your skills, go to U.S. with me next year and you will get into the CIA or FBI. Now, Urogi has been wanting to see you again, but he doesn't have the bedt memory and didn't know your name, so his brothers here want to make a surprise!" Long story short, Karaku sets you both into a Ramen Restaurant, one with food ticket system.

"Hey man! Um, sorry, what was your name?" You chuckle before presenting yourself "Don't worry, I didn't get to tell you my name last time, I'm Y/N. How are you from that fall last time?" He seems fine, if it wasn't because those don't exist anymore, you could have sworn he is still a Kizuki. Urogi has not lost that wild glow in his eyes, and definetely has adquiered any eating manners, that one you see even while eating ramen. How can you show little manners while eating ramen of all dishes? Let Urogi do the demonstration (but it's not as bad as you remember, still, this is probably the reason Karaku chose this place for you.)

Also Urogi is as joyful as ever, laughing even at the worst joke you could tell, talk for hours if he is interested in something, run around full speed uncaring if he crashes against something. He also seems to love birds and heights, the second one more than the first one, so more often than not he takes you to trekking and hiking every once in a while. Also he still eats almost thrice as you (taking in account you don't eat little) besides bringing snacks everywhere. He is just Urogi.

"I'm agnostic, but I feel a stronger link with spirituality and nature. Why do you ask?" He asks before putting 5 pieces of yakiniku in his mouth at once, one different sauce in between each strip of meat joined together that show different colors falling from the side of his mouth. "What would you think if I told you you were a bird demon that ate human flesh and part of the fourth strongest one after the lord? That and that I was your demon husband in your past life." You say before also taking some meat into your mouth. There is a second of silence before Urogi laughs it off "Good one!" He said.

That that you recieve a call from Urogi at 3AM or so, you answer still half-asleep and you could have sworn he somehow manage to get back his sonic scream the second you hear his voice "-OLY SHIT! IT TOTALLY MAKES SENSE NOW! THAT IS WHY I ACT LIKE AN ANIMAL, IS IT NOT?! AND WE ARE MARRIED?! CAN DEMONS GET MA-" You can hear how he is interrupted by some noises of hits (with paper and pillows) and struggles as Urogi complains without being anything said understandable before the call cuts... Sekido must have gotten tired of his shouting. [Truth be told, this was Aizetsu, they share room.]

"Y/N! Y/N! HUBBY!" He screams as he runs towards you as you meet outside your house, some bruises in the side of his face but nothing beyond that "Wha- "Hubby"?" You question just before he crushes into you as he didn't stop nor slow down, making you hit your back with the wall. As you groan in pain, Urogi takes your shoulder and cut the distance between your faces. "We need to get married again!" What? Just like that? You two are not even boyfriends. Does he remember your past together or something that he suddenly wants to marry?

"Nope, don't remember a thing. But I trust you wouldn't lie to me, and it really makes sense! And I think I love you already, so... yeah, I want to experience marrying you again." You also want to marry him again, even if it's worrisome how fast he made that choice. But that's just Urogi, maybe that is why everything you said just fixes into what he believes. You obviously go and inform his family about the choice, since Urogi didn't even tell them he was seeing you today, and everyone but Zohakuten agree to let you both be, but Aizetsu and Sekido take him away.

Karaku is the one to help the most with the expenses of the wedding, and he is also the one Urogi told about the past life. Totally believed, but it didn't surprise you. "Just make sure the other don't know or they will think you drugged Urogi for him to marry you, specially Zohakuten. That boy is a menace, thank that Aizetsu is the one taking care of him." But it was not that expensive, something small outside the city and stay there for the rest of the month as Honeymoon. After that, Aizetsu and Zohakuten moved Urogi's things to your place "I will be watching you, don't forget." ....

It's very messy to live with Urogi, but you have fun. "I love you, Baby Bird." So everything is ok. "Baby Bird? Ohhh, is that what you used to call me? That is so cute! Call me that again!" Everything is just as always.

Aizetsu:

You see a familiar looking kid holding a dragon plushie, clearly lost, in the middle of the store. The child around 12 is glaring at the floor, staying still, so you decide to see if you can help, mostly because, again, he looks familiar. "Hey, kiddo. Are you ok?" "Get lost, you disgusting freak!" Oh, it's Zohakuten! Yeah, you barely met him at all, he was the last resort in the worst case scenario, so you only ever saw him like 5 times at most. He was very protective of the rest of Hantengu, and so he rejected you when you knew you were with "Zouhakuten! There you are!" Aizetsu! He comes running towards you and Zohakuten, clearly relieved of found him safe and sound after losing him at the store.

"Aizetsu-nii! This old man tried to kidnap me!" .... Ok, first things first, you're not old, just over 18, but he still in a age where adult means old, so you will let it slide this time (specially since Aizetsu is watching). Fortunately, your past husband is able to read the situation well and apologizes to you. You try to take advantage and make a chit chat, you manage to have something with the child interrupting every once in a while, but you end up buying your groceries together.

"You are very nice, thank you for joining us. I'm sorry for Zohakuten, it makes me so sad you had to tolerate so many insults from his part." There, a chance! "Maybe you could pay me back by giving me your number, please? I would love to know you better, go out and stuff." You smile kindly at him, just like he liked in the past. Aizetsu blushes a bit, getting a little shy he looks at the floor smiling softly. He crys out when a can he just buyed is thrown to your head. "So because you couldn't kidnap me you want to kidnap Aizetsu-nii?! I won't let you!" And thankfully Zohakuten will not be there from now on.

He is still very quiet and easy-going, you take him into a walk in the park and buy him a dessert, nothing goes wrong. Everything is calm and comfortable, he smiles softly for every small detail you make as offering your hand when it's becoming dark and offering to walk him to his home. And you manage to get even more dates, from what you are told, it seems Urogi and Karaku urge him into doing so since he doesn't go out or socialize a lot. "Sometimes thoy even follow us in our dates, I'm not sure if you noticed that." You only ever did when Sekido came to scold them, berating them loudly in public, but you always pretended they weren't there.

To be honest, besides Zohakuten, you don't even have problems with the other clones brothers, now they are brothers, you remind yourself. Even Sekido seems ok with you, so you can only hope the kid will move on from his hatred towards you once he grows up. So it's preferable to wait until then if you want to get married, because the boy is insistent. You can't step into the Hantengu's house if there is only Zohakuten there without turning your stay into the movies of Home Alone. Still, it doesn't take you more than 7 dates for you and Aizetsu to become boyfriends, surprisingly being him the one who asked. "I really enjoy being with you, and even if it would be sad, I would like you to be my boyfriend." Of course you said yes.

He is slightly suspicious of the fact you already know what type of gifts he likes and how is easy for you to guess what foods he likes (soft foods, nothing too savory) but he decides to not mind it. Truth be told, he aleady checked your phone and house when he came over without you noticing "May I use the toilet?" And "Can I borrow a jacket? I left mine at home and it's starting the get cold outside. Let me see what you have in the closet." And "Can I order for myself? Just hand me your phone some minutes. Sorry if I takes me a while to choose." And "My battery is dead, may I text Sekido with your phone as mine charges to tell him I'm fine? I will log in and out of an app so it comes from me and you don't get in trouble." He knew what he was doing, but he never found hints that you were a stalker or had anything on him. (And don't worry, he is not jealous, he is just making sure you were not with pictures of him he didn't know about and if he appeared in your history search.)

Again, the story you are to tell is not the most believable, and Aizetsu, while is very respectful and admiring toward religious devotion, is not a believer himself. So there is no Shinto or Buddhism backing you up for this one, making you fear he might listen to Zohakuten "warnings" that you are a "-perverted freak who wants to take Aizetsu-nii away!" Seriously, what is wrong with this kid? Even Urogi seems to have upgraded from your last life, and he was the pet of the group. But what is important is that you keep your mouth shut from the reincarnation and demon topics.

He keeps living with his brothers until the marriage proposal, by the time Zohakuten already tolerates you, but wanting more is being too greedy to be realistic (it has already been 5 years since you have met, the kid is freaking seventeen. Why did he grow up? He didn't grow up in the pa- oh right, he was a demon back then. The point is that if he doesn't like you by now he probably never will.). You buy him a ring and made a propousal similar to those in the western movies Aizetsu likes to watch... minus the near-death experiences, but it counts. In a trip to the beach, you kneeled in front of him by the sunset, exposing the ring. "Love, will you marry me?"

Aizetsu actually started crying when he saw the ring, sniffing and rubbing the tears of his face as he began to laugh. You gave him the space and time for him to give an answer, even though you wanted to comfort him (knowing fully well that he was alright, Aizetsu barely cries when feeling sad, and him crying has always been good. It always meant he trusted you.) "Yes. Yes, I will marry you." He says before taking your arms and pulling you up, into a hug. You did it! Now you have to prepare the wedding.

It's a bit more than an average wedding, Sekido and Karaku (you could have sworn he was broke, but he is actually filthy rich but won't tell everyone where he get the money from... He is probably a pornstar) helped the most with the costs, Urogi (he is not broke but damn if he isn't close) and Zohakuten (who was asking every once in a while to Aizetsu "Are you sure this is what you want? You can always change your mind") helped with the preparations, being with your past-future husband through all the process. Then you even have money to have a bit more than two weeks to Europe, you both mostly staying in France and Italy.

Once you came back the Hantengu brothers had alrady moved Aizetsu things into your home. "It was very nice of your brothers to help you. When will they give you back the key?" You ask, since you had already given him a key to your home ".... I had my key during the complete honeymoon...." .... so you changed the locks. Besides that, your lives run smoothly, the brothers visit every once in a while, you both so your best at your job, trust and support each other. And... talking about trust.

"Love?" You call him one night, him being half-asleep as he lieas his head in your shoulder "Mnn?" You take a deep breath before spilling the beans "What would you think if I told you that we married in our past life when we were man-eating demons?" He only takes a breath as he leans closer to you neck to get more comfortable "Go back to sleep, Y/N." You do, then try again the next morning. Aizetsu looks at you unamused before stating once again. "Go back to sleep."

You tried several times but he never believed any of it, but didn't think you were nuts, just that you had a very realistic dream or vision and took it as a signal, since he "knew" you were religious (more like you remember your past life and were a demon, so you know those things exists, but again, Aizetsu doesn't believe it). He tolerates it and tries to dissipate the thoughts about it "Darling, even if I believed it, it wouldn't matter. That was the past, wasn't it? The important thing is the present and future, and having you stuck in that is making me sad." So you stop, but he is right, it doesn't really matter. You have your present and future, and you are not going to waste it.

#top reader #demon slayer #kny #upper moons #kny x reader #karaku #urogi #aizetsu #sekido #gyutaro #damn it took me forever to finish this part #but finally #it's done #now the alternate version >:>

[theminecraftbee]

technoblade is what got me back into minecraft. like, at all. for a little bit, i’d been trying to play again, but it had been for a summer camp i was teaching for kids, and then i put it down again. i hadn’t thought about the fact there would still be minecraft youtubers out there at that point. it had been years. and it would be years again until i was first recommended manhunt videos, because i was into speedruns at the time, and the algorithm liked those videos. but those aren’t what got me back into minecraft. no, those alone wouldn’t have been enough; they would have gone on the shelf in my brain of other idle videos to watch while i was doing other things.

but see, then i was recommended the potato war.

the potato war is some of the best content on youtube, man. all of technoblade’s stuff is fantastic, and i’ll be watching it all again and again when i need a laugh. taking over the world as the antarctic empire is another personal favorite of mine, if you want another recommendation, as is that last mcm where they all just logged out and played hypixel games after the event broke. but the potato wars... those are peak minecraft youtube content, and peak youtube content in general. the humor is on point. each successive video only escalates further. he’s consistently so funny - for someone people liked to call awkward and monotone, i’ve barely known any other creator who was so charismatic, all the time. he sucked me in. i subscribed. a few days later, i was recommended a stream titled "preparing for the festival”. i had no idea what was happening. i was hooked.

the next day, i watched the red festival live. what an introduction, right?

there was no going back after that. i watched technoblade insistently. at the time, i had no idea how to use twitch, so technoblade was my main window into streaming. chat intimidated me too much. i was scared of talking to people because i thought it would be “cringe”, watching this kid thing like minecraft. i was an adult with a stable job (and a friend group known for kicking people out who they considered “bad” in some way, which in hindsight wasn’t great for me, but that’s an entirely different story). still, i needed to get my creative energy out somehow. i hadn’t written anything i actually finished in probably two years. my last attempts to write something i could finish ended poorly, in pieces i couldn’t even bring myself to like much anymore. but i’d always loved writing. i’d always wanted to do more of it. even if i couldn’t get anything out... would it hurt, to try to write something for this thing i had fallen in love with?

yeah, so black box was the first completed work i had written in two years. and then i waded into a community where i found friends who were kinder to me than the ones i’d had before, who i wasn’t afraid would hate me for slights i didn’t know i had committed. and i found this thing i loved, and i managed to write again, to be creative again, and i found it because of technoblade. he pulled me back in here. he made me find people again, he helped me get a community that made me happy instead of stressing out, and he helped me laugh. he helped me laugh a lot. nothing quite does it like a techno video.

i don’t know if he knows how many people he did that for. a lot, i think, judging by my dash, and by twitter, and by everything else. he touched so, so many people, so many people he never even spoke to. i think maybe he knew. i hope he did.

i wouldn’t be as happy as i am without technoblade. i wouldn’t be creative again, i wouldn’t be writing again, i wouldn’t be me as much without him. maybe this is a little sappy, or maybe it’s a little self-centered. i don’t know. i just want to say that i maintain that, at heart, i’m a technoblade main. and i always will be.

live on, technoblade. make more people laugh in the years to come.

#technoblade #death #i know i said i was logging off and i know this is very personal but i had to get it out there somehow so i am doing it #anyway go rewatch the potato war it's worth it #and fuck cancer.

[greenerteacups]

hihi i saw you were semi-active on tumblr and figured i would ask if you'd be willing to elaborate a bit on the whole push/pull relationship theo and daphne have in lionheart? i've done a couple rereads but i still can't quite figure out how they feel about one another.

hope you're having a great christmas gt <3

i've got good news and bad news. the good news: you've read it perfectly well, because "can't figure out how they feel about one another" is exactly what's going on with them at any given moment. so this is greatly vindicating for both you as reader and myself as author. the bad news: you have just given me license to talk about theodore nott and daphne greengrass, a dynamic that gets an understandably small amount of attention and yet consumes large volumes of my headspace. so. spoilers ahead!

daphne and theo break my heart, because they're a story in wasted potential. theo and pansy are obviously old childhood friends, but i think daphne is just someone who knew them socially and only really got close to them at school — cf. her conversation with draco at the yule ball — because first year forced theo to make friends who weren't pansy for the first time, and daphne finally had a chance to socialize without her parents coddling her. they get along like a house on fire, pansy rocks up to join them in second year, and this is the cute little nega-Trio draco meets in book 2. it's a fashionable nucleus of dry humor and ferocious mutual protectiveness, which theo demonstrates especially in the hospital wing at the end of book 3.

but theo continues to suffer the chronic condition of Being Theodore Nott, and so when the plot comes knocking, things go south for him expeditiously, especially his personal relationships. daphne develops a crush on him as early as book 3, and being daphne, she's incredibly obvious about it, but being (1) a teenage boy and also (2) an incipient domestic terrorist, he naturally avoids dwelling on it — and then maybe-kind-of-starts-to-reciprocate, because hey huh wait a second you sure do care about this girl a lot, don't you, theodore? — but by that point the war's started revving up in the background and he has Other Shit To Deal With.

it doesn't help that the two of them are being drawn in radically different political directions, partly because of her friendship with draco, but also because of her own choices. theo's mistake here isn't malicious, but he really does ice daphne out (as he does everyone but pansy, pretty much, in fairness) for most of book 4, and by the time he realizes that he could actually lose her, it's too late. probably he doesn't realize how far she's migrating once she drifts out of his influence — daphne is incredibly susceptible to suggestion and is deeply influenced by those around her, which becomes clear once she's transplanted into gryffindor and discovers this much kinder, more chivalrous side of her nature. given that chameleon-quality of hers, it's understandable for theo to be shocked when she pivots away from him and pansy the space of less than a year. but also, I think it's telling that he's that surprised, since daphne hasn't been in good with the rest of slytherin for months at this point. and in turn, this surprise angers her, because like — dude, seriously? forget the romantic stuff; you're supposed to be her best friend, and you couldn't tell that she was doing a Character Arc behind your back? (strains of this feeling heavily inform what she says to draco during the Yule Ball, especially re: theo and pansy being each other's platonic soulmates. she feels locked out, in every sense: from slytherin, from her friends, from her parents, from everything. she wants in on something, and it drives her to do something pretty callous to draco and hermione, as she realizes and regrets. daphne is not always a kind person, even when she's a nice one.)

that anger, and theo's unfortunate failure to do anything useful about it whatsoever — slytherins! purebloods! low EQ! not great at the whole making-amends thing! — is what makes it possible for her to sever ties with slytherin completely, effectively terminating the close friendship she had with him and pansy (who's slightly less reconciled to that separation, but pansy is also much less politically involved than theo both philosophically and functionally, so it's easier for her to double-dip). it's my headcanon that if theo had even 15% less to worry about, he'd be making more of an effort to revive that relationship, but kid is in hardcore Survival Mode for most of book 4, and just knowing that daphne's not in immediate physical danger has to be enough for him. meanwhile, upstairs, daphne is discovering the Life-Changing Magic of Real Friendship, and like, it's kind of a blast? and lavender and parvati are really cool? and gosh now that theo isn't the center of her living universe, isn't it funny how all these tall good-looking boys are wandering around? funny, that!!

this isn't to say that their story is finished — it isn't! there's still a lot of gas left in this tank, and many, many things these two have left to say to each other — but that's where the story leaves us. they were close; there was a real possibility of something, and likely some degree of mutual interest; but the timing was never right, and it's not going to get any easier if things keep going in the direction they are now. (but who knows?)

#lionheart #lionheart spoilers #daphne greengrass #theo nott