HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SWEET BACHIRA I LOVE YOU YOU SILLY LITTLE BEE TOU DESERVE THE WORLD YOU FUCKING GREMLIN /p
I love this idiot in case you couldn't tell
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*Spidey and the Sinister Six having their usual fight*
Doc Ock, landing a hit: You’re getting slow Spider-Man! Age finally catching up to you?
Spider-Man: You wish! I haven’t even hit my 30s! From those costumes I can already tell I failed to save you guys from those midlife crises! Sorry by the way.
Vulture: Watch it wallcr- wait… Did you just say your not in your thirties yet?
Spider-Man: Surprised that this spiders so young and spry? Well-
Electro: Dude I’ve been fighting you for at least 5 fucking years! How old even are you?
Shocker, joking cause he’s the only one who picked up no grown adult acts likes Spidey: Don’t swear in-front of the boy you don’t want him to pick it up.
Rhino: Christ! You’re tellin me I almost crushed some 12-year-olds skull all those years ago?
Spider-Man, regretting his quipping: I was not that young! Like just starting freshman year but-
Sandman, horrified as he’s the only one with a kid and dad instincts(as of my iteration): I could’ve killed a kid…
Shocker, genuinely curious: Are you even old enough to drink? Cruel to kill a man who ain’t had his first drink yet.
Electro: Please tell us you’re at least over 25 as of this fight. Hell, I’ll take over 21!
Spider-Man:….
Sandman, realizing just how young he really is: Oh my god.
Spider-Man: My birthday’s coming up soon so I guess it counts?
Doc Ock, exacerbated: It. Does. Not!
Vulture: What would your mother think if she knew her son was out here risking his life telling poorly constructed jokes?
Spider-Man, offended cause it quips slap: 1. My jokes are great 2. She and my dad are dead so-
Sandman, hysterical cause holy shit he almost killed a kid orphan: OH MY GOD!
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When Mr. Lancer got promoted to Vice Principal, the school hired a new English teacher, an out-of-towner who wasn't phased by all the ghost stuff. For the first assignment of the year, he asked them to write a paper on any Shakespeare play they'd ever read.
The Monday after the paper was due, Mr. Todd asked Danny to stay after class. Danny frowned; he thought he'd done really well on the paper! He turned it in early and everything!
The teacher waited until everyone had left before asking, "Kid? Is everything okay at home?"
On the desk lay his paper, titled: "Why I Should Totally Kill My Godfather: An Essay About Shakespeare's Hamlet, I Swear".
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Dan hates his Nicer Self.
He does. He really, really does.
The kid is naïve, cocky, strong in the weirdest ways that don't make sense-
And he's such a busybody! Always helping, always jumping into things, and always saying that he's definitely not trying to be a hero.
It's annoying.
It's so annoying.
For instance, Phantom got called in by the JL for an all-hands-on-deck situation right before a super important test. Phantom accepted the call.
But the JL had dealt with threats like this before, a million times-there was literally no need to answer the call.
Yet the little dumbass had.
And now Dan was at home, staying on the other side of the room away from Vlad, and watching the fight on TV.
Phantom takes a hit. Then another. Then another.
Good; he'll learn not to jump when the JL says jump, then.
Phantom goes down, disappears behind some rubble.
Dan doesn't care. He doesn't. Let the kid learn a lesson.
Phantom doesn't get up.
Just like Jazz didn't get up.
Or Sam, or Tucker, or his mom or his dad-
Dan sees red.
He barely hears Vlad as he rips a portal to the fight and steps out, in his own ghost form, and decks the bad guy-some demon named Trigun or whatever, fucking weeb-so hard he knocks the guy back.
The fight pauses.
"You touched the twerp," Dan growls, voice distorting and allowing his powers to manifest at full capacity for the first time in years, "So you get to lose your head."
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I am not over the fact that Jesper didn’t realise he’d met Wylan before until he was literally on top of him. He didn’t recognise his one night stand until he was On Top Of Him,,,, that’s the angle he had to have to remember his face,, there’s only one image that’s fitting for this.
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