#hi gang. I’m experiencing emotions.

[samglyph]

Love this gay little robot. Hope nothing bad ever happens to it.

#hi gang. I’m experiencing emotions. #it’s really hard to draw tho I am not used to it’s shapes #scavengers reign #scavengers rain Levi #Levi #scavengers reign fan art #fan art #my art

[justmeinadaze]

Little Girl Gone (Steddie X You)

A/N: This is the story I mentioned yesterday! Trying something new for me but I hope y'all enjoy it. I've always found Mafia Eddie incredible sexy <3. This is an AU with a mixture of Stranger Things you will definitely recognize :). I wrote with the idea that Hawkins is a big city so keep that in mind lol

Warnings: Mafia Gangster Eddie/ Officer (slightly mean) Steve Harrington/ Doctor Fem Reader, SMUT, use of the color system, degrading if you squint, spanking, dirty talk, etc.

ANGST, Obviously (and not just because I am me lol), Eddie runs a rival gang in Hawkins and is in love with Steve (Romeo and Juliet style), Steve mentions being jumped and Eddie retaliates getting hurt in the process, mentions of murders by Eddie, Reader takes care of them both performing surgery on the gangster, guns are pulled and our boys are threatened, cliff hanger ending because I can.

Word Count: 8284

"Little girl gone, got a gun from a gangster Run little girl, run little girl, bang, ha."

“Officer Steve Harrington.”, you read from his chart as you enter the exam room before flashing him a big smile. “I’m Dr. Y/L/N. How can I help you today?”

“My, uh, Captain said I needed to come get a checkup. I was wounded in the line of duty a few days ago.”

“Oh no. I’m really sorry to hear that. May I ask what happened?”

“Does that matter?”, he snapped.

You dealt with sassy patients on the regular. It came with the territory especially in the area your office was located in. In this part of the city, your clinic usually catered to people who didn’t want to check in at a regular hospital because their name could get dinged for other offenses. You always felt like everyone deserved care so when you opened your clinic, you made sure to do what you could within the means and resources you had available. 

Officers normally never entered your building but within these past few months you had seen them more and more frequently. You had heard rumors of a new gang in the area trying to make things more…democratic…so there was less chaos in the streets but in turn that brought more of a police presence because most of the people around here hated being threatened into submission reacting violently if need be. 

Thankfully, you weren’t easily shaken so this admittedly good-looking man of the law raising his voice didn’t frighten you one bit. 

“It does if you want me to assess you properly.”

“Then why did you ask?”

“I like to be polite at first. Now, are you going to tell me what happened or should I mark in your file here that you refused to answer so your Captain can deal with you?”

Steve’s amber eyes scanned you over briefly before a small smirk painted his beautiful lips. 

“I got jumped by one of the rival gangs in the area. Beat me up pretty good.” 

Sitting in your wheely chair, you slid toward him and carefully lifted off his shirt, his face wincing as he lifted his arms. Large purple bruises were splattered along his ribs and around to his back. Just from the wounds alone, you could tell he was kicked and punched repeatedly. His face had some scratches and swelling but it looked like nothing compared to his upper torso. 

“Oh wow. I’m so sorry. Did you go to the hospital?”

“I did. They did some X-rays and shit. Thankfully nothing was broken but, obviously, moving around has been hard.”

“Beside the bruising, have you experienced any other pain? Like a sharp stabbing pain in your side or anything like that?”

“Uh, no. Just emotional pain.”, he chuckles as his eyes look past you into a memory. 

“Ok, I’ll get you some medicine I think will help as well as some cream to sooth the pain of those bruises and swelling. I’ll be right back.”

You weren’t gone long but as you were returning you could vaguely hear his voice through the door between you both. 

“Naw, she said she’s going to get me some meds and shit…Baby! Seriously, you worry too much. I’m fine… No, NO. Don’t you dare go over there or I swear God—” Hastily, he hung up his phone when he heard you knock and reenter the room he was in. “Sorry. That was my, um, my boss checking in. Just reiterated what you told me.”

“Good. Now this will help with the pain…”, you instruct as you hand him some medication before flashing him the cream. “…and this will help with the swelling. Just put this on your bruises every six hours and you’ll be good to go in no time.”

Opening the bottle, you squeeze some of the medicine in your hand, and gently rub it along his admittedly muscular abs. 

“You’re, um, going to feel it tingle a bit and feel warm but after a few moments it will cool down.”

That smirk you saw previously appeared on his lips again when he caught you staring as your hands slowly rubbed along his skin. 

“That feels really good actually. Your hands not the cream.”

“Hm. I’m sure your girlfriend touches you enough.” Steve raises an eyebrow at your insinuation. “I mean unless you call your captain ‘baby’.”

A slightly nervous sigh leaves you as the officer’s grin grows and his eyes meet yours. 

“Hm. Bad girl listening in on my phone calls. Do you always misbehave like that?”

“This is my clinic, Officer Harrington. I can do whatever I want especially when I have signs everywhere that say, ‘No Cell Phones in the Exam Room.’”

His palm abruptly takes hold of your wrist, pulling you closer to him till your nose was just above his own.

“This may be your clinic, honey, but these are my streets. I keep order here.”

“I think the gangs here would disagree.”

“Pfft, like you know anything about what goes on out there.”, he spits as he lets you go.

After throwing a scowl his way, you pretend to be preoccupied with washing your hands.

“I know that when I first moved here, the fatality rate in this area was extremely high until that new gang leader took over the Munson crew. I believe, if the rumors are correct, the new boss is actually the son of the old leader Al Munson. Since the son has taken over, oddly enough, the streets have become safer. More kids come out to play and I’ve seen less addicts in the last couple of months.”

As you dry your hands and turn to face him, you notice the hardened look on the officer’s face as he listens to you speak.

“I also know there have been more of a police presence on this side of town as well. I’ve seen a lot of innocent civilians put in ambulances or worse due to the push back of change. Tell me, Officer Harrington, which side are you on? Which gang did that to you? The Munson’s or The Carver’s?”

“I’m on the side of peace. That’s my job.”, he seethes through gritted teeth.  

“Yeah… you’re good to go, officer. Have a nice day.”, you growl in annoyance as you leave the room without waiting for him to retort.

##############

Today had been an incredibly long day. After your appointment with Officer Harrington, you had back-to-back visits from so many clients just needing a little bit of help. Your mind was racing as you and your staff did what you could but the truth was you desperately needed more funding. You were running low on supplies and the equipment you had wasn’t the best. It killed you to see your patient’s sad faces when you strongly recommended they head to the nearest hospital for certain tests that you just couldn’t provide at that time. 

Your mind was still racing as you began to gather your things to head out for the evening which is most likely why you didn’t even hear him till you exited your office and were met with a gun pointed at your face. 

“Don’t be scared. I’m not…I’m not here to hurt you. We need help.”, Steve panted with a heavy breath as the weapon shook in his hand. He was still dressed in the uniform he was wearing when you last saw him but now it was stained in blood and sweat.

“I-I-I…”

Roughly, he took hold of your bicep and dragged you to your waiting room where another man was sitting with his head leaning against the wall. You knew he wasn’t a cop because he wasn’t dressed like the man beside you but instead in an expensive looking black suit with the white button up shirt underneath his jacket now stained with red. You noticed immediately his palm was holding his side and that area of his clothing was a darker shade than all the rest. 

“I can’t help with a wound like that. He needs a hospital.”

“Oh you don’t say?”, he snarled as he tugged you to his chest. “If I could have taken him to a fucking hospital I would have! But I brought him to you, now HELP HIM!”

“Steven!”, the long-haired man grumbled as he looked your way. “Be nice. She’s just being…honest. Right, sweetheart?” He sighs when you nod and tries to get to his feet but the officer is quicker, running to his side to help him stand. “See, the thing is, princess, if I go to a hospital I’ll die anyway…because they will put me…in jail especially after they find out…what-what I did tonight.”

“What did you do?”

“That doesn’t fucking matter right now. He’s losing blood and fast!”

Swallowing nervously, you step forward to unbutton his shirt and examine the cut you found. He needed stitches as soon as possible and most likely a blood transfusion unless someone got to his wound fast enough. Gesturing them both to follow you, you power walk to an exam room and begin searching for supplies as Steve carefully places the man on the table. While he removes the bloody clothes from his top half, you prep a syringe.

“Is he allergic to anything?”

“No. What is that, that you’re giving him?”

“It’s a pain killer. It won’t be as strong as ones at a hospital but…”

As you stick the needle into his stomach just above his cut, he flinches causing Steve’s expression to flood with worry as he moves the man’s hair out of his face. After quickly cleaning the area, you let out a long sigh as you glance their way. 

“Even with the shot, this is going to hurt a lot I’m afraid. I’ll try to go as fast as I can but, officer, if you can distract him that may help.”

The man on the table chuckles as he turns his head towards his friend. 

“She keeps calling you ‘officer’. Did… you not tell her your name? Or did you… scare her too much to use it?” He cringes as he hisses once you begin sewing in his stitches. “You like to…pretend to be so badass…but we both know you’re a…sweetheart.”

“Pretend to be a badass, huh? You’re one to talk.”, Steve scolds in a light sounding tone as he softly places his forehead against his own. “Eddie, I told you not to go over there.”

“They tried to hurt what was mine…”, he growled low in his throat even making you pause for a moment before focusing again on your task. “They wanted to send a message, well, message received.”

“I could have handled it.”

Grabbing Steve’s cheeks roughly, he brings his lips to his own. 

“No one takes my things and NO ONE hurts what’s mine. You belong to me, baby, and I promised I’d keep you safe.”

Finishing his sutures, you bandage him up and wrap some gauze around his lower waist. 

“Thank you.”, he whispers exhaustedly as he extends his shaky hand towards you. “What’s your name, pretty girl?”

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Don’t worry, Y/N. You’re safe and I promise neither of us are going to hurt you. I’m Edward Munson but you can call me Eddie.” Your eyes widen as you slowly back away from them causing Steve to rise to his feet. “Ah. I see you’ve heard of me. Then you know you can trust me.”

Eddie tries to stand as well but sways before Steve steadies him. 

“You…you should be in a hospital. That wound needs to be looked after and you need to rest.”

“I can take care of him.”

“Steve…”

“No. No you can’t. That’s why you brought him to me.”, you sass in frustration as you try to display an air of confidence. Both men scan you over as they try to get a read on you as you continue. “If you refuse to go to a hospital, then give me your address and I can come—”

“No. No addresses. We can’t have you giving it to the police.”

“Oh you mean you?!”

You and Steve square off, tightening your stances as you glare at each other until Eddie laughed beside you both. 

“Brave girl with attitude. I like it.”

“I don’t. Little girl needs to be put in her place.”

“I highly doubt you’re the man to do that.”, you sass.

“Yeah well good thing there’s two of us, honey, and trust me, whatever I start Eddie can definitely finish.”

Sighing, you fold your arms as you argue with the internal dialogue inside your head. 

“You can come to my apartment but I have one condition. After he heals, I never want to see either of you again.”

Their eyes meet for a moment before Eddie finally nods. 

“You have a deal, princess.”

############

“Um, I don’t have a spare room or anything but the couch is comfortable. Just make sure to stay on your back if you can.” Eddie nods as Steve places him down and hastily begins removing the gear attached to him. “Let me grab some blankets and pillows.”

Disappearing into your bedroom, you grab any extra bedding you had and began to head their way but paused when you heard them talking. 

“Why are you being mean to her? I thought you said she took care of you.”

“She did. I just… I was worried about you. It’s my job to take care of you to, honey.”

“And snapping at the woman who’s trying to help will do what exactly?” Steve laughs through his teeth at Eddie question. “I think it’s because you like her.”

“Pfft what?”

“Oh, look at Officer Harrington blushing.”, the long-haired man teases as he reaches out to touch the boy’s face. “I know I just met her and she was busy saving my life but I can see why…”, he chuckles before wincing as he grabs his side. 

“Are you alright?”, you ask as you come back to the living room and kneel down on your knees in front of him. 

“Yeah, I’m alright. I’ve been through way worse than this.”

You take quick note of his wound before handing Steve the things you found, watching with fascination as he tosses the things for him to the side before placing the pillow on his lap and guiding the man back to lay down. 

“If, um, if you notice it bleeding through or he starts getting a fever, come and get me immediately.” 

The officer nods as he throws the blanket over Eddie and comfortingly rests his hand on his chest, his thumb gently running along the man’s tattooed skin. 

***

Your alarm goes at 4am that morning, startling you as you shoot up right. Groggily, you shuffled to your bathroom and grabbed the items Eddie would need so you could change his bandages. Both men were fast asleep when you entered the living room, Steve still clinging to him with his other hand very close to where his gun was resting on the little table you had beside your couch. 

“Mr. Munson?”, you whisper as you sit on the coffee table across from them. When he didn’t stir you couldn’t help but take the opportunity to visually take in one of the most notorious gangsters in the city. You had never seen a picture of him and he definitely wasn’t what you pictured when you heard the rumors from people in the clinic. 

He did have an air of control surrounding him but his voice and face were incredibly soft especially when it came to Steve. You heard him get upset though so you imagined that amplified out in the streets and you hoped you never met that version of him. He had a lot of tattoos painting his upper torso that seemed completely random except for the symbol of his gang that was tattooed on many other men and women you had seen previously minus the tiny initials “S.H.” inscribed within the design. 

Eddie was fairly muscular appearing more toned in his abs and upper arms. Slightly blocking your view was Steve’s massive palm over his chest, almost as if that was his way to make sure the man was still breathing. He had been exceptionally rude with you but with the gangster, he transformed before your eyes, becoming softer and listening to everything the other man said without question. They both obviously seemed to care strongly about each other which you found slightly amusing given their slight Romeo and Juliet story; one being a cop and the other a criminal. 

“Mr. Munson.”

Extending your hand, you tried gently shaking his upper shoulder and in one swift motion, he grabbed your wrist and held you tightly as he raised his fist in the air prepared to defend himself. Swallowing nervously, you froze as his intense eyes scanned your own. 

“Fuck. Fuck, I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t…” Eddie promptly let you go and winced as he sat up in front of you. 

“No, no. It’s ok. After what happened, I completely understand. I just need to check you out and rewrap your wound.”

“Would it be easier for you if we went to the table?”

“Oh, no, this is ok but I do have to turn on the light.”

Eddie follows your eyes as you glance towards Steve. 

“Trust me, it won’t bother him one bit. I don’t think he’s had a consistent night’s sleep since he was hurt.”

“How long have you two been involved?”, you ask as you begin the task in front of you hoping to distract him as well from the pain. 

“In my business or each other?”, he smirks when you breathily laugh. “Both answers are more or less the same. He had the balls to arrest me on a charge we both knew wouldn’t stick. I knew he was different when he tried to get me to flip sides and sell out my friends. Usually, cops knew better than to do that especially with me.”

The gangster paused when you tried to clean his cut, flinching as he gritted his teeth. 

“What happened? Did he take you in?”

“No, I did when I let him fuck me handcuffed in the back of his cruiser.”, he chuckled, slightly surprised when you did as well. “We’ve been watching out for each other ever since. He’s actually not as big of an asshole as he seems. Steve just has a big heart and wants to take care of everything himself. He likes to be the big, strong man, you know? That’s why he’s been so short lately.”

“What happened there? He didn’t tell me; just said he was jumped.”

“I don’t think that’s something you should know. The less we tell you the better.”

“Mr. Munson, you, a well-known Mafia style gang leader, showed up at my clinic after hours with a police officer bleeding out. I think that line has been crossed.”, you grin up at him finding his eyes watching you again. “I assume it was someone from Carver’s side. You told Steve something about them sending a message.”

“Yeah… Jason Carver isn’t exactly a fan of mine even more so since I took over. My dad was always a…shoot first ask questions later which is why he’s in jail right now. He was sloppy and greedy like Jason. I don’t want to hurt people I don’t have to.” Leaning forward, you start wrapping the gauze around him but you can’t help to inhale the strong scent of cigarettes and cologne. You don’t see it but his own head tilts slightly, inhaling your shampoo from the night before when you finally had time for a shower and the regular smells of your office that attached to your skin. 

Eddie’s lips ever so slightly grazed your shoulder that was exposed due to the tank top you were currently wearing causing you to shutter softly as you pulled back to cut the bandage. 

“Are you afraid of me, Y/N?”, he asked in a low tone that had you exhaling as you tried to maintain your composure. 

“Mr. Munson, I work in a city filled with crime and scared citizens. I don’t really have the luxury of being afraid.”

“That’s not what I asked you.” Calloused fingers reached out to grip the bottom of your chin and forced your eyes to meet his. “Even though I take no pleasure in it, I have hurt and killed people. I killed two people just last night. Carver got the idea in his head that roughing up the man I love would have me submitting to him and his whims. I’m not the submissive type and I made sure he knew that by slitting the throats of the two men that put hands on him. I don’t regret it and I’d do it again.”

“How did you get hurt then?”

“Unfortunately, Carver isn’t an idiot. He had more men appear and try to take us out. Steve showed up and someone pulled a knife… Let’s just say that someone got in a good attempt before I snapped his neck.”

The way he spoke about such violent things was so even, almost as if he could be reading from a grocery list. This was his every day and you could tell by his tone he knew it would continue to be. But there was something about him… something that made you feel safe. 

“No, I’m not afraid of you, Mr. Munson.”

“I think under the circumstances, you can call me Eddie.”

A cell phone ringing pulled you both apart but didn’t stir the man it belonged to as he continued to snore with his head leaning over the back of the couch. 

“Steve. Steven.”, the man called as he shook his arm rousing him from his deep sleep. “Your phone is ringing.”

Without opening his eyes, the officer reached into his pocket, producing his device, and placing it to his ear as he answered with gravelly “yeahs” and “mhmms”. 

“I have to go in. Someone called in about the shooting on the eastside and they found Carver’s guys.” Rubbing his eyes and as if he forgot you were there, Steve tenderly kissed Eddie’s lips before rising to his feet and putting on all of his gear once more. “Please keep an eye on him and I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“I have to go to work.” Pausing, he exhaled heavily as he turned and flashed you an annoyed look. “I have to. It would look weird if I didn’t. I’ve never missed a day but if we leave early enough…I can bring him with me and keep him in my office.”

“Is it ok to move him that much?”

As if to prove a point, Eddie rose to his feet. 

“I’ll be ok. I’m a quick healer. Don’t worry about us.”

###############

Thankfully, you didn’t have too many patients today so you were able to keep yourself locked in your office with the gangster you were attempting to hide. As soon as you brought him in, he fell asleep on your office couch, allowing you to leave him be so you could do what you needed. 

As you were reading a chart however you heard giggling in the exam room beside your office and quickly went to investigate, finding Eddie sitting next to a child on the exam table making her laugh. 

“Look, princess, you can’t trick me like that.”

“It’s thumb war! You have to be stronger.”

“Ok, best two out of three.”

“Kylie, sweetheart, what are you doing here?”, you beam trying not to startle either of them. 

“Hey Dr. Y/L/N! My mom told me to come down to see if you had any more samples of my inhaler.”

“Oh, honey. I don’t. I’m so sorry. I usually try and save one for you but I had another patient who had an emergency so I had to give it to him.”

“Why do you need an inhaler? Is it for the other people whose breath you take away because you’re so adorable?”

Kylie giggles as she turns towards Eddie and blushes. 

“No! I have asthma. My mommy brings me here to get my medicine because we can’t afford the stores.”, she sighs as her head hangs.

The man’s eyes meet your sympathetic ones before softly smiling and giving the little girl his attention again. 

“Hey. Can you keep a secret?” The small child nods in earnest making his smile widen. “Have you heard of a little convenience store called Cunningham’s Corner? It’s about a 5-minute walk from here. Go to that store and ask for Chrissy. Tell her Eddie sent you and you need an inhaler. She’ll give it to you for free.”

Kylie’s eyes widen as if this man just told her a fairytale.

“Free?”

“Mhmm. But you can’t tell anyone! Because then other people will take advantage.”

After giving him a hug, she jumps down from the table and starts to head for the door. 

“Hey! Here. Give Miss Cunningham this paper when you tell her what you need, ok?”, you instruct as you hand her a prescription with the name of what she needs. 

“Ok. Thank you, Dr. Y/L/N!”

“Thank you. That was really nice of you.”

Rising from his seat, he waddles with you back to your office. 

“It’s not a problem. I heard her coughing and crying so I wanted to make sure she was alright. Is she a regular?”

“Yeah and, unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for her to come by herself. Her mom is a single mother who works 60hrs a week trying to make ends meet. They came to me when she started having her symptoms but there’s only so much I can do here with my resources.”

“Are you underfunded?”

“Yeah. I do what I can but because of where I’m located…”

“Why don’t you move to a better location?”

“I can’t do that. I can’t leave these people. They need someone to help them since a regular clinic would immediately turn them away since a lot of them have no money or no insurance.”

“You’re a very kind woman, Y/N.”

Flashing him a smile, a knock makes you jump as you quickly get up to see who it is. 

“It’s Hawkins PD Detective Jim Hopper. I’d like to have word with you for a moment.”

Right as you scan your room, Eddie hides himself in front of you against the wall so he wouldn’t be seen when you finally open the door between you and the gentleman.

“May, uh, my we come in?”

“We?”, you ask as your eyes flick to the wide, stern eyes of Steve behind him. “What’s this about, detective?”

“I don’t know if you heard but we had a gang related fight in the area and we got some intel that Edward Munson may have been severally wounded.”

“Ok? And what does that have to do with me?”

“It wasn’t far from your clinic so we thought, maybe, you heard something or saw something?”

“What time was this?”

“Around 7-8pm.”

“My clinic closes at 6 so—”

“I mean, as a doctor though I’m sure you work late hours—”

“Not last night.” Out of the corner of your eye you see Eddie mime with his hand for you to calm down a bit and you close your eyes as you sigh before responding again. “I’m sorry, Officers. It’s just been a rough week. I left early last night to come in early this morning and do some work. I haven’t heard or seen anything but I can be on the lookout.”

Hopper nods, tilting his hat as he begins to walk away. 

“I’m just going to give her some details and information so she knows what to be on the lookout for exactly.”, Steve informs his colleague who confirms before disappearing to lean against the waiting room desk. 

Pulling out his notepad, he steps closer to you pretending to write things down. 

“Where is he?”, Steve whispers, smirking when your eyes flick to the side. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

���You like it.”, Eddie murmurs. “Should we be worried?”

“No, a few of Carver’s guys are in the morgue.” 

You had seen many people come and go during your time as a physician so when the officer shook his head looking away down the hallway, you could tell he was lying. 

“What aren’t you telling him?”

Steve’s angry, amber eyes met yours as an annoyed grunt left his lips. 

“Nothing. Stay in your lane, doctor.”

“Hey.”, Eddie growled low beside you. “Watch your tone. You wouldn’t keep anything from me would you, Steven?”

“I was questioned this morning seeing as how I was jumped and then suddenly men from Carver’s gang show up dead.”, the cop sighs. “I told you not to go over there.”

You could feel the tension rising between them but you were still being watched and couldn’t risk the gangster being seen. Eddie was slipping to far in his own frustration to think that far as he began pushing off the wall to scold his partner but you quickly placed your hand on his chest lightly pushing him back down. 

“Did you get in trouble?”

“No.”, he responds to your question. “But I am being watched a lot closer hence the detective.”

“And your bruises?”

“Huh?”

“You were hurt to. Is the medicine helping at all?”

Steve’s eyes take in your face clocking in your genuine concern. 

“It is actually. Thank you.” When you smile back at his answer a tooth filled grin paints his features. “I, um, I should be done here by about 7 or so. I’ll head to your place, come get him, and then…we’ll be out of your hair.”

#############

“Ok, so, make sure to keep this clean and if you find yourself in any excruciating pain or like I told Steve if you get a fever come back to me so I can take a look.”

“Hm. I thought you never wanted to see us again.”, Eddie teased as he carefully put back on the shirt you gave him. 

“I don’t but that doesn’t mean I want you to get sick or die or whatever.”

The gangster’s smile grew as he watched you blush. 

“How come you don’t have a boyfriend or husband or whatever?”

“What makes you think I don’t?”

“Because if you were our girl, there’s no way I would have gone two days without calling or checking in and I’d definitely have something to say if I found two men sleeping here.”

“Our girl?”

“Oh, sweetheart. Any woman I date is with Steve as well and most can barely handle my attitude and temper let alone both of ours.”

“You seem nice enough to me.”

“I can be mean when I want to be.”

“I’m always busy…to answer your question. A lot of relationships I’ve had can’t handle my schedule.”

“Hm, I understand that. Steve and I have conflicting schedules all the time.” Eddie’s eyes watch you as you gather the trash from cleaning his cut and head towards the trashcan to avoid his gaze. “But we make time for each other. That’s what you do when you care about someone.”

“Yeah, well, I guess no one really cares about me.”, you sassily smirk as you sigh and wash your hands in the sink. 

Feeling the energy shift, you turn coming chest to chest with the man himself.

“I care about you. Steve cares about you.”

“I’m pretty sure Officer Harrington hates me.”, you giggle but it tapers off when his face remains stoic.

“He doesn’t. He wouldn’t have brought me to you if he didn’t trust you.”

“You don’t know me, Eddie.”

“I know enough.” 

Shaking your head, you laugh again trying to lighten the intense atmosphere as you begin to walk back towards the living room but his hand promptly grabs your bicep and moves you till your standing in front of him once more. 

“You saved me and helped him. I just watched you all day take care of people who can’t normally afford care. You have a kind heart and you’re extremely beautiful. Do you know that? Do you know how beautiful you are?”

A knock on your door startled you but not him as he continued to stare down at you waiting for an answer. Silently, you allowed Steve entry who immediately took in your rattled appearance. 

“Everything ok?”

“Mhmm. I was just asking Y/N if she knew how beautiful she was.”

His gorgeous, honey hues widen slightly as if he was surprised before turning his attention back to you. 

“You know you are, right?”

“I-I think you both should leave.”, you whisper with little to no confidence in what you were saying. 

“Is that what you want?”, he mused as he strolled further into your apartment. “Because we can leave right now and like you asked, disappear from your life forever. Or, maybe, you can let us thank you properly.”

“I thought you didn’t like me…said you wanted to put me in my place.”

They both chuckle making your face turn a deep crimson in embarrassment.

“Baby, that doesn’t mean I don’t like you. It just means that I think I’d have a lot of fun playing with you.”

“Playing with me?”

Steve subtly nods his head as Eddie slowly moves closer to the living room where you two were standing. 

“Teasing you, kissing you, taking care of you…taking control of you and your gorgeous body till you’re begging me to let you cum.” Tilting his head, his eyes meet yours as his fingers caress your face. “When’s the last time you had someone take care of you?”

The other man comes up behind you, sandwiching you between them as he gently places his palm on your stomach under your blouse. 

“I asked you something, honey.”

“It’s been a while.”, you jest making Steve smirk as Eddie stepped closer to you till your back was to his chest. His hand continued to run along your skin with his fingers just barely floating under the waistband of your pants before coming back up to rub your stomach. “I’m scared.”

Everyone freezes in place at your words but as the gangster tries to drop his hand, you quickly catch it and hold it in place back on your tummy. 

“Of us?”, he asks.

“I don’t want to get in trouble.”

Resting his head on your shoulder, his palm wonders again this time going further as you feel him slide into your underwear and cup his hand around your heat. 

“You won’t, sweetheart. I promise, you’re safe with us. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.”

“And neither will I. I can protect you from getting in any kind of trouble with the law or anything like that. You have two men here who control both sides of the coin…” As Steve’s voice dropped into a more and more seductive register, Eddie’s lips gently pecked your shoulder and up to your neck as his finger graze your clit while gliding them through your folds.

“You just need to let go and let us control you.”

“Fuck.”, you groaned as he slid two of his digits into your core.

“Is that a yes?”, Steve chuckles sassily as he watches your eyes close as you lean your head against his boyfriend.

“I think so, Harrington, because pretty girl here is just dripping all over my hand.”

“Yeah? We need to hear her say it though. Do you want us to take care of you tonight, honey?”

“H-He—mmm—Eddie can’t with his…with his cut.”

“Oh trust me, Y/N, that won’t be an issue. Now answer my question, please.”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, I want you to take care of me.”

As if they could read each other’s minds, Eddie’s hand slipped out of your pants and Steve picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and carried you to your bedroom. 

“Ow! Something in your vest is stabbing me, Officer Harrington.”, you giggle before he tosses you onto your mattress. 

“Sorry. I forgot to take this stuff off. I was blindsided by a stupid question when I came in.”, he grinned as he began removing his equipment and placed them on your bedside table. 

Eddie carefully climbed in and you hastily set up pillows so he could lean back comfortable against your headboard. 

“Thank you. I don’t think that question was ever answered. DO you know how beautiful you are?”

“Sometimes I need reminding.”, you sigh as your nervous eyes meet his soft ones. 

“We can do that, sweetheart.”

Taking hold of your cheeks, he brought your lips to his and your body ignited with an electricity you had never felt before as his lips carefully but firmly mingled with yours. Steve’s laugh echoed through your room as he looped his arm around your waist and pulled you away from the gangster to bring you in front of him at the edge of the bed. 

He had taken off his shirt and out of habit as a doctor you scanned his bruises to make sure he was ok. Clocking your care once again, his fingers gripped your chin and brought your mouth to his own.

“It’s ok. I’m still a bit sore but you helped me a lot.”

As he continued to kiss your lips, you allowed him to undress you making him pause when you were fully naked in front of them. 

“Jesus Christ.”

“I told you, princess…beautiful.”, Eddie grinned.

Smiling widely at their compliments, your hands roamed Steve’s chest, kissing a trail along the way till you reached his belt and fumbled with the barrier before fully pushing down his pants. You gasped when his cock sprang free causing them both the chuckle again as you practically gapped at the size. 

“I know. It was a shock to me to.”, the gangster teased as the officer stuck out his tongue playfully. 

“You liked it. And I promise, honey, you’ll like it to.”

Gripping the base, he held his mushroom tip towards your lips and moaned when your tongue darted out to lick the small beads of precum that had begun to leak. Steve pulled your hair into a makeshift ponytail so he could watch as you slowly wrapped your mouth around him and gradually began bobbing your head.

 “Shit. Atta girl. Flatten that tongue. J-Just like that.”

Another set of hands softly ran down you back and over your ass before the cool sting of metal hit your behind. 

“Did you like that, pretty girl? Did you like Eddie spanking you?”, the officer asked when you moaned loudly. 

Fingers glided ever so slightly through your pussy lips and even you couldn’t deny hearing the squishy sound of your slick that obscenely filled your bedroom. 

“Oh Stevie. She definitely enjoyed that.”

“Yeah? You like it a bit rough, little girl?”

Eddie guided his middle and ring fingers inside of you eliciting a mewl from your throat that had the man inside of your mouth grunting with pleasure. 

“Fuck. I think…I think you can take me a bit deeper.”

Thrusting his hips a bit, you gag around him spilling drool and spit down his length as you mentally take note of the fact that that wasn’t all of him you choked on. 

“Come on, honey, take more. I know you can, baby.”

Tears stream down your face as you try but barely take more of him in. Gripping your jaw, he pulls out of your mouth and leans his face in front of yours as his eyes search yours. 

“Green, good. Yellow, slow down. Red, stop. What color are you at, Y/N?”

“Fuck… green.”

“Ok, then why are you crying? We haven’t even fucked you yet.”

“I-I-I wanna take more. I want to make you feel good to.”

You heard your tone as it came out of your mouth but you barely recognized it. You sounded like a child who was told she couldn’t play outside because it was raining. What was it about these men that transformed you in this way? In relationships or even one-night stands, you never cared about this kind of thing. Usually, men never complained and you were never fully satisfied after they left resorting to your vibrator to get you the rest of the way. 

But for whatever reason, you wanted to impress them. You desperately wanted them to feel good because some part of you had a feeling that they were going to do the same for you. 

Steve’s eyes softened as Eddie’s fingers slowed inside of you. 

“Be nice to her, babe. She’s got a good heart and she did take care of us.”

“Can you keep your mouth open for me, pretty girl?” He grins when you nod your head, wiping your tears with his thumb before kissing your cheek. “And you are making me feel good. Your mouth feels fucking amazing.”

You beam with pride as you do what he asked, whimpering when Eddie began building you up again. 

Holding your head still, Steve guided his cock back between your lips, doing the slow thrusts he was doing before as you kept your mouth closed around him. Your eyes squeezed shut as his pace began to quicken, his tip occasionally hitting the back of your throat. 

“There you go, baby. T-That’s it. See? Doing—fuck—doing so well. Now, stay still.”

As he began fucking your face, the gangster matched his pace making you groan as obscenities flowed from the officer’s mouth.  

“Shit. Take it, little girl. That’s right. You love the taste of my cock in your throat, don’t you?” Reaching over you, his hand calm down hard on your ass and your palm pushed at his legs signaling you needed air. “Are you gonna cum? Ask him, Y/N. Ask Eddie if it’s ok.”, he commanded as he forced your head towards the other man. 

“Eddie, please. Please… can I…”

“Yeah, princess. Cum on my fingers.”

You collapsed as you came, moaning loudly into the mattress as you tried to catch your breath. You weren’t given much time however as Steve manhandled you till you up on your hands and knees again with your face hovering over the bulge in the other man’s pants. 

After unbuckling his belt, he pushed them down just enough to free his own cock from his denim confinement and you didn’t hesitate as you wrapped your tiny hands around his thick girth. Hands clung tightly to your waist and you braced yourself when you felt Steve collect some of your arousal with his length before gradually pushing into your entrance. 

“Oh, fuck me.”

“How does she feel, Harrington?”

Your eyes fluttered closed as you tried to focus on the man in front of you, letting a long glob of spit land on his tip as you stroked it with your hand. 

“S-So…So fucking tight.” His palm came down on your ass and you groaned as he continued to push further inside of you. 

“I like my view here. Make—mmm—make sure you fuck her nice and deep. Beautiful girl deserves it after everything she’s been through.”

“Oh, don’t worry, honey. I plan on ruining this little pussy.”

Eddie chuckles as he watches Steve lick his lips as your cunt tightens around him at his words. 

“What about you, princess?”, he murmurs as he tenderly pets your head.

“He’s…so BIG.”

“Yeah, he is. Does he feel good?” You nod as your head hangs and he promptly grabs your jaw forcing you to look his way. “Say it.”

“Fuck, Steve, you feel so fucking good!”

“That’s a good girl.”

You mewled when you felt him bottom out, his hips connecting with yours, allowing you to feel every inch before he pulled back and slammed back into you. Eddie’s mouth fell open as you bobbed your head on his cock. While he wasn’t as big as his boyfriend, he was definitely thicker and you felt like your mouth was full of him. 

He was much gentler with you, continuing to play with your hair and mutter praises as Steve pounded into you, rocking you further down the gangster’s length as you choked and spit around him. 

“God, honey, this pussy is too…fucking…good.”, Steve grunted, smacking his lower half into yours between each word. Leaning over you, he rolled his hips, pushing him impossibly deeper into your cunt as your eyes rolled back. “His dick tastes amazing, doesn’t it? Mmm—fucking love when he shoves it down my throat.”

Moving out of his way, Steve envelopes Eddie into his mouth making the gangster moan as he extends his hand to tangle in his hair. As his boyfriend continued to fuck you, your own groans vibrated against the long haired boy’s balls driving him crazy as he growled through his clenched teeth. 

“Fuck! You’re both so fucking sexy. That’s it, baby boy, take my cock.”

After pumping his hips a few times, Eddie let him go and Steve pushed up onto his knees pounding into you till you were seeing stars. Taking the man’s length in your mouth again, you mimicked the other boy’s movements trying to keep a steady pace as you hurdled towards the edge. 

“A-Are you about to cum? Fuck, Y/N, you better fucking ask one of us, little girl, if you want to fucking cum!”

Your glassy, needy eyes met the chocolate ones of the man in front of you, pleading as you began to shake.

“Ask, Y/N.”

“Please, Eddie! Please, I need to cum!”

Taking a hold of your hair, he firmly tugged you till your face was fully visible. A small smile flickered across his lips, watching you struggle till he finally nodded granting you permission. 

Steve reached around and took hold of your throat, lifting you till you were pressed against him, squeezing you tightly as he fucked you through the most intense orgasm you had ever had. 

“Good girl. Good fucking girl. Are you on the pill?”, Steve roughly growled in your ear, his rhythm and intensity increasing when you said yes. “Good because I’m going to fill up this pussy and you’re going to take it like a good little girl. You’re going to take everything I give you and be fucking thankful.”

He grunted in your ear as he held your lower half against him as he rolled his hips aggressively, pumping his release into your cunt.

“Steve.”, Eddie called in a firm tone you barely heard through your haze.

“Excuse me, honey.”

Carefully, he pulled his softening cock out of your aching hole and gently laid you on your side before crawling up the gangster’s legs and taking him into his mouth. You watched with hooded eyes as his boyfriend took him all the way down his shaft, massaging his balls with his palm, as Eddie groaned.

“That’s my good boy. You wanna swallow my cum?”

Steve nodded as his eyes met his own and with a few thrusts of Eddie’s hips, his head fell back as he released his spend down the man’s throat. After sharing a soft but passionate kiss, they turned their attention to you.

“Are you ok, babe? Do you need anything? Water?”

“Will you lay with me?”

“Yeah, sweetheart, of course.”

You didn’t even hesitate when you scoot to Eddie’s side and wrapped your arms around your stomach, placing your head on his chest. The last thing you remember is feeling warmth behind you and the sound of Steve’s steady breathing on your skin before you fell asleep.

***

“DID YOU SERIOUSLY THINK THERE WOULD BE NO CONSEQUENCES?!”

Your head shot up when you heard shouting in your living room. Eddie and Steve were missing but the voice you heard definitely wasn’t theirs. Quickly throwing on the officer’s shirt you listened as the voice continued.

“Did you really think you could come on to our territory, break into one of our stash houses, and kill a bunch of our guys?”

“I think the real question you should be asking is how easy it was for me and my guys to break in.”, Eddie responded angrily. 

“Shut the fuck up, trailer trash! You think because you moved out here and took over Al’s business, you’re different but you aren’t. You’re still that garbage that he left behind with his brother before you suddenly decided you wanted in. Ah ah ah! Don’t make me shoot you, Steve. I have no problem killing a law man.”

“If you’re not here to kill us, Andrew, then what do you want?”, Steve spat.

Glancing quickly around the room, you realize his gun was still in its holster near your nightstand and as quietly as you could pulled it from its home. Tip toeing out into the hallway, you held it in front of you as you peaked around the corner. 

The person you didn’t recognize had his back to you as he pointed his own pistol at Eddie and Steve who both had their hands raised where he could see them. 

“Jason just wants Edward so we can make an example of him and what happens when you cross the Carvers.”

“I think you underestimate the Munsons, Andy.” Slowly, you creeped up behind him, praying he wouldn’t turn around. “Unfortunately for you, I’m not going anywhere. I hope Jason understands that this wasn’t a good move.”

“Yeah well, you can tell him yourself. Now come on or I will shoot him.”, Andrew threatens as he points his weapon Steve.

“Not if we shoot you first.”

At Eddie’s words, you cock the gun and pull the trigger.

##############

#steddie #steddie smut #steddie fanfiction #steddie fic #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #joe keery #joseph quinn #fan fiction #eddie munson smut #eddie fanfic #eddie munson fluff #steve harrington smut #steve harrington stranger things #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #mafia!eddie munson #officer!Steve harrington #steddie x reader #steddie x you #steddie x y/n #eddie munson stranger things #steddie angst #Spotify

[passionesolja]

No offense to Giorno Giovanna but I have to call him out. That man played Bruno like a mf fiddle and got half of Bucci gang wiped out in a week of knowing them. Man didn’t give a fuck. He wanted to be mafia head honcho. I ain’t saying the death didn’t get to him, because he goes from teenager with terrible home life to seeing Leone Abbachio with a softball sized hole I’m his chest within like 3-4 days. But shit didn’t get to him get to him. Bro hardly knew anybody in Bucci Gang’s names when they started dropping. They was disposable to him because if bro gave a fuck about them, he would’ve said “nah time to back off this” when Bruno died and he had to him into a zombie

I get why La Squadra went out how they did. They had to spin for Sorbet and Gelato. Plus, they’re experienced hitmen so you know they know how to poker face shit. But giorno did not give a fuck about Bucci Gang as people. Not on a deep emotional level. He was the new kid that Bruno dragged in. But it’s how could he? He only knew Bucci gang formally for 168 hours.

I got love for lil bro but I cannot act like he gave a fuck on the level that somebody like Mista or Fugo did.

#narancia ghirga #jjba la squadra #jjba #giorno giovanna #haruno shiobana #vento aureo #jojo bizarre adventure #jojo part 5 #jjba meta #pannacotta fugo #guido mista #leone abbacchio #bruno bucciarati #bruno buccellati

[pettyprocrastination]

hiiiiii tj <3

i see you're back in your konig era and was wondering if you have any new hcs for our big teddy bear <3

HIIII ERIIIII :D

warnings: description of bullying, violence, social anxiety, insecurities, smut

SFW

So for me personally he’s very. Socially inept. Not in a ‘cute soft anxiety boy’ way but in the way that he will come off either deeply unsettling by staring at you in silence or like a total fucking asshole. Spent his entire childhood severely bullied and ostracized so any sort of slight against him, he will take personally and gets easily frustrated with himself for not handling situations/social intricacies smoothly

Probably has plenty of stretch marks from having such a big growth spurt growing up. 

Something about being severely bullied and then realizing his own size and strength means he could give his harassers some ferociousness back as a teen def…led to something. 

I HC that he has some pretty severe scarring on his face from being ganged up on as a kid, which only furthered him being an outsider to other kids/teens growing up so he wears his hood or some sort of facial covering on base as well. Severe trauma and all that. 

Most definitely has a criminal record from when he was a kid and fought back against a bully after said incident and ended up just getting tunnel vision and…destroying that poor kid. The case was either sealed because he was a minor or expunged completely because the argument was that it was in self defense and he had the scars to prove their previous assaults on him. Nonetheless. It left him fucked up. 

Shifting from being the defenseless kid being harassed and bullied to a bloodied teenager that now knows his strength and his capabilities in defending himself. Ough. 

Part of the reason he sheds his insecurities on the field. He’s able to not worry about being watched or ridiculed and just go full fucking ham and he loves it. Part of the reason why his voice lines are so shrieky and gloating. I love it lmao. 

If you’re on his side/somebody he considers to be an ally/friend? He may not talk much but will sort of…loom about. Small interjections here and there but overall just this shadow following you around- not that you mind. 

Will look over at you when he does something successfully for a bit of praise like ‘hey? Did you see that? Wasn’t that cool? Please tell me im cool’ without saying it outloud. 

I’m not sure if him being 6’10 is genuine canon (i can’t remember where I saw that if im being honest) but id imagine given how tall he looks finding clothes that fit him are a fucking pain. 

DIY king. At his height and size he will have to do the occasional alterations on his clothes. Grew up with a single mother who did her all to give her baby boy a good life which meant teaching him how to sew from a young age, a small hobby he would partake in while sitting at his mother’s side and beam bright when she told him he was doing a good job. 

Enjoys being in the wilderness quite a bit. 

I imagine him to be a ginger for some reason. His hair isn’t too long but enough that he can tie it up so it doesn’t get in his face. If you become close enough to him that you can see him without his hood on, please run your fingers through his hair he will reach nirvana. 

I’d also imagine that after spending so long covering his face, being without it feels. Weird. A touch overstimulating at first too. 

Sort of like how in that one ep of the mandalorian season two where din has to take off his helmet to get into that database, you see all his emotions and him react to the wind hitting his face because he isn’t used to it. 

NSFW

That being said. Once you kiss him he’s a bit of an addict for it. Won’t be out of the norm to find him pulling you back into his lap with a whisper of “one more, liebling? Please?” when you have to leave for a briefing in five minutes but then he nibbles at that spot on your neck and you just can’t say no to him. 

Not a virgin, but not overly experienced either. I’d imagine there’s been a few flings in the past of folks who have met this quiet giant and just had to suck him off cause I mean, who wouldn’t? But the genuine intimacy of face to face, holding one another while fucking? It’s a rarity he hasn’t truly been able to experience yet. 

Big dick and doesn’t realize it.

Loves a good makeout sesh. Doesn’t care if it’s juvenile or whatever if you sit on his lap and put on a movie in the background he will make out for fucking hours with his hand slipping up your shirt and pressing himself against your hips.

Tit man. Maybe it’s because I’m a fan of the honkers myself and i'm just projecting but the dude loooves to play with his partner’s chest. Big? small? Flat? He doesn’t give a fuck. Titties are titties please for the love of god let him touch you 

Kinda goes insane for the type of shirt where he can see the outline of your tits through it if you aren’t wearing a bra. Don’t be surprised if he corners you during the day and scolds you for being “So cruel” to him by wearing it before he starts mouthing at your chest through the fabric. 

Kissing, sucking, biting, licking, the man loves tits and will do it all god bless him. 

Nipple piercings will make his head explode

Loooves eating pussy. SO so much. Will go to the point where you have to pull on his hair to get him off of you and then he has the audacity to look at you with those sad eyes and ask for one more. 

Loves loves loves when you leave hickeys on him. He’ll never get in trouble for having them since he’s covered from head to toe at all times in the field but man does it get him riled up. Sees it as some sort of mark of your relationship to him, a little reminder for him to see in the mirror after your night together and he will plead for you to mark him up, he’s tough he can take it. 

“You can do it for me, can’t you? I know you can. Just one more, yes?” 

The type to kiss the pussy first, he’s a romantic. 

Will mumble/moan praise while between your legs. Talking about how pretty your pussy is and how you're so soft all over it has you completely braindead. 

Absolutely obscene with it, moaning and sloppy damn near drooling between your legs because he’s so drunk on you. 

Has no preference to where he gets to cum. Sex with you is joy itself but if you were to twist his arm: he’d say he likes to cum inside of you. 

He won’t say that he likes it so much because then he can lean back and watch his cum seep out of your hole, that’s his little secret. (Not a well kept one lmao) 

Probably has a porno-esque fantasy of a “sparring turned to sex” scenario that he keeps tucked away in the back of his mind at all times.

#ask #asks #konig x you #konig x reader #HEHE TY ERI #könig x fem reader #könig x you #könig x reader

[macdenlover]

My fucking god. There is so much to take apart.

This episode gave us a peak into Dennis’s mind and it’s the closest thing we’re gonna get to putting him under a microscope like a little bug and studying him in a lab. It isn’t what I expected from this episode but man oh man am i glad to have it. There’s a few things we need to establish first that’s gonna be the basis of my analysis. Dennis is angry, but he ultimately uses that anger to mask fear, pain, and every other emotion that he doesn’t allow himself to feel. Also, the entirety of the episode— every little detail was intentionally conjured by Dennis’s mind either consciously or subconsciously so none of it is off the table to dig into.

There’s two big things at play here— one, his desperate need for control; and two, his instinct to self sabotage. This episode did one hell of a job at showing how woven together the two are.

The essence of Dennis’s character is this impenetrable shell he’s built to protect the vulnerable part that sits at his core, and we finally got to see HOW he builds that shell piece by piece. This is the pressure-cooking of the diamond— if you apply enough pressure it’ll harden the shell.

Everything is thrown out of balance when Dennis learns about his high blood pressure, but what really bothers him about that is the inevitability of aging— something we’ve seen him be insecure about for many seasons. But what’s different about this episode is that while his usual fear of aging comes from vanity, this time it’s combined with Dennis being so afraid of the world around him changing and leaving him behind. This follows the thematic trajectory of this season— all the characters struggling to cope with inevitable change. 

A stress-free day at the beach is a pipe dream. Happiness is something so hopelessly distant from him that he builds a fantasy about chasing it while never getting there— sabotaging the plan because he either thinks it’s too impossible, something he doesn’t deserve, or both. This is not the first time we’ve seen this from him. In The Gang Saves The Day, the rest of the gang’s fantasies revolve around them finally getting their dream ending, while Dennis’s stuck out from the others as a barely comprehendible mess of his own misery. (I’m gonna rewatch this episode soon and give you a full breakdown of my thoughts). Dennis self sabotages in his own fantasies because he can’t imagine a reality where he is capable of getting what he wants. Dissatisfaction is something so permanent to him, and Dennis Takes a Mental health day is all about him trying to cling to things that are permanent to regain his sense of control. He is creating uncertainty in his own fantasy so that he can be certain about it. He is such a broken man and it is such a fucked up cycle— one thing continues feeding into the other. “The pin’s the key to the phone, the phone’s the key to the car.” 

The primary source of his frustration in this episode was the automated systems, which I think holds place to represent more than one thing. It’s a symbol of the changing world that he can’t control or escape from, but it also represents the parts of himself he’s fighting against. He forms systems in his life that are so methodical and complicated that it gets in the way of his ability to have real human connections. They went right on the nose with it in this ep by having him spelling out his own name as an acronym in a fit of rage. Subconscious Dennis’s d.e.n.n.i.s. system is fucking crazy. 

D- “Deliver me from this”

E - “Engage with human”

N - “Nightmare”

N - “NIGHTMARE”

I - “Is this real?”

S - “Somebody help me”

If you interpret this as his frustration with not only the state of the world but himself and his perpetual loneliness it gets incredibly heartbreaking. Guys I’m really tearing up here. 

His interactions with others in this episode also say so much about him and the inner conflicts he’s experiencing. He knows he establishes control by taking his frustration out on other people, but he simultaneously struggles with that making him a bad person. He yells at the customer service workers and then APOLOGIZES and reassures them that it’s not them who he’s really mad at. He doesn’t mean to take it out on them. (Potentially wild implications for Dennis woobifiers here.) He wants to take his frustration out on people who he believes deserve it, like the CEO. He gets to see himself as a hero in this story even if he’s miserable. If happiness is a pipe dream, he can settle for second best which is the rush he gets from taking his pain out on the guy who fucked him over. But he is simultaneously the person he spent his entire fantasy craving a real human connection with. He doesn’t know how to do that. It got weird and a little sexual (he definitely wanted to fuck that guy till the room stank). he is vindicated with violence at the end, which is ultimately what he will always resort to because it gives him the sense of power that desperately needs to make the frustration, vulnerability, and weakness go away (mentally AND physically). This is his cycle. 

I’m not sure Dennis could have an episode where he breaks down and cries and has a huge cathartic moment and then goes back to his regular self the next episode the way Mac and Charlie have. Dennis is a whole other can of worms. RCG are comfortable with exploring different sides to these characters as long as they are kept in a state of limbo for the length of the show, but letting Dennis openly express his feelings (even to himself) might make it impossible to come back from because this is literally the entire crux of his character. The last time he opened up emotionally he fled to another state only come back a year later more hostile and emotionally distant than ever. They had to put a hard reset on him after season 12 because they knew that version of him didn’t have longevity in the show. I WISH so fucking bad that they would explore the vulnerable parts of him more explicitly on the show but for now I will settle for being a little vulture and picking it out of the carcass of this season. 

#iasip #i had a lot of thoughts about this ep #this is just my raw opinions #i call this my 2:00 am autism + adhd combo move #would you believe it if i said i had more that i cut out 😭 #tell me ur thoughts pleaseee

[writing-the-stars]

Forgotten

Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x Fem!Reader, Elena Gilbert x Fem!Reader (Platonic)

Summary: After seemingly being forgotten by your childhood friends, you seek comfort in a mysterious stranger

Warnings: Angst (Because I’m an Angsty Bitch Who Needs Angst to Survive), Hurt/Comfort, Elena (Because I Know How Most of Y’all Feel About Her). Let Me Know If I Forgot Something

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: Hey guys! I’m finally getting around to showing some love to Elijah. I’m debating on whether or not I should turn this into a series or not. Let me know if that is something you all might be interested in! As always, thank you guys so much for reading!!! Please feel free to leave a comment or send in an ask. I love interacting with you all. Have a wonderful day!!!

Masterlist | TVDU Masterlist

4:30 p.m.

An hour and a half past the time Elena was supposed to come home for your girls' day. A despondent feeling washes over you as you finally accept the fact that Elena has blown you off once again. You can’t even say you’re surprised as this behavior has become expected of her as of late. Your heart is just broken. 

Ever since the Salvatore brothers moved into town, it’s been made clear you are no longer a priority in her life. Hell, you’re no longer even a priority in the group’s life— your presence slowly being diminished as they whisper in secret behind your back, conveniently have plans or forget to show up to your scheduled hangouts, or just not invite you to theirs at all. It kills you to watch the people you’ve grown up with— Elena since diapers—  push you out of their lives. The four of you experienced your entire lives together, witnessing and supporting each other through every milestone— first kisses, first relationships, first school dance, first heartbreaks, first times of the month. Seeing how all of those memories— your lifelong friendships— can be so effortlessly rendered worthless with the arrival of two boys tears through your heart, leaving you with the ragged pieces. 

Unbeknownst to you, however, the gang’s intentions were never to hurt you. Instead, they have been trying so laboriously to do the opposite. You, by some miracle, have been one of the few residents of Mystic Falls who has not been affected by the supernatural presence that thrives there. You have remained blissfully unaware of the vampires, witches, and werewolves that coexist with you in the small Virginian town. As far as your friends are concerned, that is exactly how they will keep you safe, even if it’s unknowingly the catalyst of your emotional anguish. 

Hot tears dampening the rounded apples of your cheeks, you gather your things, tired of looking foolish and desperate in front of the people you have shared your life with. You are done fighting for your previous place in their lives which they have clearly refilled. 

Storming out of Elena’s home, you are surprised to see a tall gentleman— arm raised as if he were about to knock— rather than the neighborhood you spent the majority of your childhood riding your bike around. Instinctively, you take a step back, placing distance between you and the stranger at Elena’s door.

“My apologies, I did not mean to startle you,” the tall brunet speaks— his voice calm and carefully crafted.

You take in the man’s appearance, noticing the tailored suit hugging his frame and your heart begins to race as you start imagining the worse. Surely a man with such obvious distinction did not happen to stumble across the Gilbert residence, he has to have been brought here. Given the recent calamities that have intercepted your best friend’s life, your mind can’t help but conjure the possibilities of trouble Elena or Jeremy could have gotten themselves into. You wonder if you will have to tell Jenna and what would you say given the outcome of the situation.

“Are you alright?” the gentleman at the door inquires, interrupting your racing thoughts and bringing you back to the present moment. You blink, realizing you never answered the man, and begin to laugh— your nervous tick. 

“Yes, I’m sorry. I just wasn’t expecting anyone to be at the door.”

You clear your throat, “Has something happened? Is everything okay?” He tilts his head, eyes narrowing, a visual indicator of his analysis of your words. “That’s what I came here to find out. I had an engagement scheduled with Elena,” he reveals, hoping you could provide him with the reason behind her absence.

A dry laugh escapes your lips— your annoyance with the brunette pushing through the growing concern you had for her seconds before. “Well, join the club. She was supposed to meet me here at 3. If you really want to find her, look for Damon and Stefan Salvatore. Wherever they are, she is,” you tell the well-dressed gentleman— your disdain for the two brothers made quite evident through the bitterness soaking your voice. 

He smiles down at you, beginning to see why you’re the only friend of the doppelgänger he had yet to formally meet, "I guess it’s safe to assume you're not a fan of the Salvatores." You roll your eyes at his massive understatement— your irritation beginning to reach its breaking point. “Don’t even get me started,” you state, knowing you could rant about your semi-undeserved hatred for the two brothers for hours. 

Stewing in your vexation, you miss the way the Original Vampire studies you. He has seen you from afar, of course, when he was gathering the information he needed to procure Elena. But now that he is seeing you up close, there is a curiosity about you— an otherness that separates you from the rest of the group. You seem leaden, burdened by the weight of the world. He wonders how someone so young could be so harrowed— the vampire being out of touch with the trials of tribulations of mortal existence. 

“Well, if you don’t mind, I would be happy to listen,” he offers, his intrigue winning him over. Your eyes widen as you look him over, shocked by his proposition. You can’t remember the last time anyone offered to listen to you talk. Silently, you question the man, wondering why he would waste any of his time listening to you, but the rational part of you is overruled by the intense desire to finally have somebody’s attention— even if it is a stranger’s. 

Walking over to the swing that hangs off the Gilberts’ porch, you begin opening up to Elena’s mysterious visitor and it feels orgasmic to finally have someone listen to you— to acknowledge you and be attentive. For you to not feel discarded, but seen for all you are. That feeling is so intoxicating that you end up sharing far more with the gentleman than you had ever intended— far more than he had expected. You tell him everything— how your mother died when you were 3 and your dad is hardly ever home because of his job as a truck driver, how you spent most of your childhood with the Gilberts because there was no one else around to care for you, how you grew up inseparable from Elena and eventually the rest of the gang. You enlighten him on your hatred for the Salvatores because one by one they robbed you of the only family you ever really had without even possessing the bonds you had built with them. You share with him how you once again feel abandoned by the people you love and how devastated you are by their betrayal. You tell him how you can’t even begin to comprehend how everything you all have been through together can just suddenly not matter, how it feels like they’re telling you that you don’t matter. You tell him so much that you run out of things to say— only able to sob out all of the pent-up emotions that had been brewing inside of you for months. 

And through it all, the vampire stays by your side, intently listening to every word that spills from your lips. When speaking became too much, he pulled you into his side, letting you cry onto him. The more he listened to you, the deeper his affinity for you grew. He saw the young woman broken by the sway of the universe, the lost little girl longing for her place in the world. He saw that flicker of hope for the good of humanity and how quickly it was being snuffed out. As he watched you cry, he knew he had to protect it— protect you. He understood the decisions your friends were making knowing the true cause of them, but that didn’t mean he liked the results. 

You break away from the warmth of the man’s comforting embrace suddenly aware of the embarrassing predicament you have placed yourself in. With a flush to your cheeks, you apologize to the kind stranger for your unhampered display of emotions, but he swiftly dismisses it, reassuring you he was more than happy to provide you some solace.

You smile at the man, marveling at his beauty and compassion. He is so gentle with you— a complete stranger. His warmth and affection towards you is something you know you will be chasing for the rest of your life. He is magnificent and angelic. 

As you look him over, your revere for the man twists into horror as you take note of the stain your running makeup left behind— permanently marring the expensive fabric of his suit. “I am so sorry,” you sincerely apologize, guilt eating at you for the damage you’ve caused. “I’ll help you pay for it. Shifts at the Grill don’t pay much, but I’m sure if I take on enough extra ones, I will eventually have enough money to pay you,” you offer, trying to find a solution to the mess you created, knowing full well you will probably never earn enough to cover even a fraction of the cost of the suit. The Original smiles down at you, amused by your concern over his suit— such a trivial matter.

“I own plenty of suits. Please, don’t worry about this one.”

You stare back at him incredulously, once again baffled by the gentleman’s generosity. You want to protest against his easy forgiveness and kindness, but the arrival of a vintage red Porsche Coupe steals your attention. Elena emerges from the vehicle— confusion coloring her expression. 

“Y/N, what are you doing in here?” the brunette inquires as she ascends the steps to her porch. A scoff escapes your lips as another piece of your heart is ripped to shreds by her negligence of your friendship. 

“Elijah,” the brunette questions, noticing the vampire standing behind you for the first time, “What’s going on?”

“Well, we’ve been sitting here waiting for you because apparently you couldn’t be bothered to show up to any of the events you planned. Remember our Girls Day of Fun?” you question your childhood friend— your anger with her behavior as of late reaching its boiling point. 

Elena’s eyes widen in realization before her face quickly contorts into one of guilt, feeling mortified she’s forgotten about your plans once again. 

"Y/N, I am so sorry. I—"

"Let me guess, you were too busy hanging out with Damon and Stefan to remember that you had plans with your best friend. Which, might I remind you, was set in place to make up for all the other times you abandoned me," you say, cutting her off, venom lacing your voice.

The brunette visible winces at the sting of your words, but you are far too gone in your outrage to care about her wounded feelings. After all, it’s not like she hasn’t been killing yours this entire time. “Y/N, please, you have to understand-” Elena begins, but you are quick to cut her off. “No, Elena, I don’t have to understand. You can not possibly have one valid reason for why you consistently keep blowing me off. You are supposed to be my best friend. I have known you since we were in diapers, so I can not even begin to comprehend why you, and everyone else for that matter, have been pushing me off for the freaking Salvatore brothers. I have been here for you way longer than they have and I have helped you through more than they possibly ever could. I expect this from Caroline, but from you, Elena..." you trail off, the lump swelling in your throat. “I just don’t understand why I’m being replaced,” you finally breathe out, your voice cracking under the weight of your emotions. 

The Original Vampire inches closer to you, feeling an impulsive need to shelter you from the source of your anguish. He remains quiet, however, understanding the importance of you two having this conversation. But his presence remains nearby waiting to swoop in whenever he is needed. 

Elena’s eyes mirror the same tears decorating your cheeks as she encloses her arms around you. The doppelgänger hates that her actions have been hurting you, but with a supernatural development seemingly emerging every five minutes, it has been hard for her to ensure your safety and spend time with you. “I’m not replacing you. You’re still my best friend. It’s just… things are complicated,” she tells you, hoping that you’ll understand the inexpedient dilemma she’s been placed in. 

Unfortunately, you can’t understand what you don’t know and you find yourself wondering about the possible meaning behind her vague words. But exhausted from the emotionally taxing day, you let the subject drop, opting to accept her cryptic explanation. You want nothing more than to go home and curl into bed. Elijah, whose presence you had completely forgotten in the midst of your confrontation, seems to sense your desire as he places a comforting hand on your shoulder and offers to escort you home. 

Over your shoulder, Elena throws a glare at the Original, not liking the idea of leaving you alone with the vampire. But since Elijah has given her his word that he would not harm her friends, she allows you to leave with him, telling you that she will check on you in the morning. Nodding, you accept the distinguished gentleman’s outstretched hand and allow him to accompany you home. 

Upon your arrival, you turn towards the man who has acted as more of a friend to you in the past hour than your friends have in months and envelop him in a hug of your own. The Mikaelson is caught off guard by the sudden contact but is quick to wrap you in his arms— pleased to be having such an affectionate moment with the girl who has quickly whittled a place for her in his heart. 

“Thank you. So much. For everything. And I’m so sorry you had to see that,” you thank Elijah for his abundant kindness to you, pulling out of the comfort of his embrace. 

“I would happily do it again,” he informs you— a smile lighting up your features. 

“Bye, Elijah,” you part, entering your house and leaving a shocked Mikaelson in your wake. He hadn’t realized you caught his name. 

"Goodbye, Y/N," he whispers, smiling down at his new favorite suit jacket.

Part 2

Taglist: @catmikaelson20​

If you want to be a part of my taglist, please submit an ask and I will happily add you!

#elijah mikaelson #elijah tvd #elijah x reader #elijah mikealson x reader #elijah mikaelson x fem!reader #elijah mikaelson x female #elijah mikaelson x you #elijah mikaelson x y/n #elijah mikaelson imagine #elijah mikaelson one shot #elijah mikaelson angst #elijah mikaelson fluff #the vampire diaries #the originals #the mikaelsons #tvdu #tvdu imagines #the vampire diares imagine #the originals imagine #the vampire diaries one shot #the originals one shot #the vampire diaries angst #the originals angst #elena gilbert #tvd fanfiction #tvd fandom #fandom #fanfic #fanfic writing #fandom writing

[delyth88]

Loki - season 2, episode 6 series finale -immediate reaction

Okay, so this time I’m gonna have to split this into two posts.  This one is my reaction after just watching the finale, but this time it’s going to be mostly my emotional response, and the more considered post with images will have to wait till later.  I don’t have the heart for it right now.

So yeah, spoilers ahead.

Well that tore out my heart and stamped on it!

I mean it was an utterly perfect story for a character like Loki, but I’m still devastated. I love it. And I hate it.

I love it on a story level.  The whole season was beautifully done! Loki developed so much over the six episodes, and really won my heart back. I fell in love with the gang from the TVA, particularly OB and Mobius, and I warmed to Sylvie and just wanted her to be able to live the quiet life she’s wanted for so long.

I loved that they really went into the depth I had assumed I’d only get in a fic about the different attempts Loki made to fix things by going back in time. They didn’t just gloss over things, they really showed him trying.  I was shocked when after he asked OB how long it would take him to learn everything, he went and spent CENTURIES doing it!  My stomach dropped.  Because can you imagine what that means for someone?  Even someone as long lived as Loki?  What that has to do to your mind? And that should have been the first clue things weren’t going to turn up roses.

Then he finally succeeds! But they don’t show it to us like we’re experiencing that moment, but more as though we’re an observer, rushing through it because it’s yet another repeat. And for one brief moment Loki is happy because he thinks they’ve done it. But no, it turns out to have been an impossible task!

And then he finds out that HWR basically gave him his newfound powers, and that he still had a lot to learn, and then we see THAT HE ALREADY HAD LEARNED! The way they kept dropping the sense of time on us, that sense of dread and urgency. And inevitability. *shivers*

How he tries, and tries, and tries to convince Sylvie, but can’t get through to her, and how he has to contemplate whether he’s the sort of man who could kill her. I loved how he visited Mobius to ask for his advice. My god. What a horrible conversation to have to have.  But what trust he places in Mobius! 

And I loved how he kept refusing to take the easy path. How he decided he couldn’t kill Sylvie, and how he realised there was another way. But OMG at what price!? I can’t….

But I hated how much this hurt Loki, what this took from him.  When the gold from the rock trickles upwards to create a mockery of a throne, which is more a prison… just…. 😭 The look on his face once he knows what he has to do. He had to make the impossible choice, and he chose the impossible.

I love that it kept the tone of tragedy that has haunted Loki all through the MCU.  I love how they were true to his character in that way, but AT THE SAME TIME allowed him to retain his new sense of self, all that growth we’ve shared through this series but also the change that he’s experienced while he’s been isolated during centuries trying to find a way to defeat HWR and keep the people on the branched timelines safe. His desperate act to do the right thing.  And finally it is the right thing in the eyes of the universe and the audience, and yet he still loses. My heart just can’t bear it!

It’s perfect and it hurts.

Tagging @woodelf68 @pinkpondofasgard @projectprotectloki @scintillatingshortgirl19 @juliabohemian @galaxythreads @makerofrunevests @ladyofthestayingpower @thelightofthingshopedfor @sparklegemstone @iamanartichoke

#I just want Loki to be okay #that did not look like the face of someone who thought they'd be okay #and those were not the shoes of someone who expects to be walking around much #my poor boy #will they ever let you be? #*wails* #I'm heartbroken #its not as bad as Infinity War but its still going to take me some time to get over this #but I'm so glad they allowed him to be the serious character this season and for his actions to really matter #his intent to really matter #he did it all for those he loves #and i have to assume he was also thinking about his family and all the people he ever knew on Asgard #gah! #I'm gonna go cry some more now #loki #loki series #loki season 2 #loki spoilers #loki s2 ep6 #loki s2 finale #loki season 2 finale #loki series reaction #loki s2 #loki review #also I know nothing of the comics #so I have no idea if this is what happens in them

[i-me-mine]

As time goes by | Chapter 17: Gone

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Word Count: 8k

Masterlist | Previous Chapter | AO3

Chapter Summary: Enjoying your last days in Hawkins before leaving for college could have been easier if you hadn’t had to deal with the fact that Eddie ran away and left you alone after you kissed.

Notes: Sorry it took so long for me to update this! Life got in the way, then I got locked out of Tumblr; it took me a while to get back to writing… and then I wrote this super long chapter - I thought about splitting it into 2 chapters, but it’s been so long since I posted that I didn’t want to delay it anymore xD.

People spend their whole lives experiencing moments and sensations that become memories that, over time, will weaken and disappear. But you were sure you’d never felt an emotion like the one that washed over you when Eddie kissed you. The feel of rough guitar-playing fingers on your skin felt etched into you, and his lips’ soft, urgent touch felt like you were meant to merge into one. The wave of feelings invading your being in those moments changed you fundamentally. You didn’t see how you could be the same after that.

And knowing that Eddie was gone and that you probably wouldn’t get the chance to feel that again was unbearable. It was one thing to dream of what it would be like, a wish lost in the realm of imagination… and another to have that vivid memory bubbling up inside you. You already knew you were going to suffer, like a drug addict going through withdrawal.

The sounds seemed far away while you were still deep in thought, but you could hear Steve’s voice, with a falsely excited tone, trying to encourage everyone to return to the backyard, drawing attention away from you. The room grew quieter, and you felt Robin nudging your shoulder.

“You are full of surprises, huh? I was betting on Harrington... But, you like Munson, then?” 

“Yes,” you murmured, admitting it. 

“But you like him, like… for real? How much?” Nancy urged, trying to get more information from you. 

“Obviously more than he likes me, not that I can help that,” you sighed, ashamed, remembering how everyone saw you being rejected. 

“Judging by the intensity of that kiss, I’m sure there is more love than you may imagine. I was worried we wouldn’t be able to keep things PG here.” Robin tried to cheer you up. 

You shook your head in doubt, though your heart throbbed at her words, and you wanted more than anything to be able to believe them. At that moment, when you were his, and he was yours, everything seemed perfect, making it easy to feed your delusions that he could love you back.

Robin and Nancy started commenting on the boy’s dares, making fun of their performances, trying to make you laugh. After a while, you were feeling a little better, and you joined the rest of the gang, and gladly, no one else brought up the subject of Eddie up, so you tried your best to enjoy the rest of the night. As everyone returned home and you and Steve remained, he opened his arms, and you ran to his embrace, allowing yourself to cry. He knew you were hurt, and you knew that you could let your tears run freely around him, that he would offer you comfort, not judgment. 

“It was too good to be real.” you breathed deeply. “How can the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me be at the same moment?” you mourned. “Why doesn’t he love me? Am I such an unlovable person?”

“Please, how could you think he doesn’t love you after that kiss? Seriously, I’ve never seen anything like that… I can’t even imagine what it was like for you guys who felt that. Someone who doesn’t love you wouldn’t kiss you like that; it’s impossible.”

All you could hope was that it had been as special to him as it was to you.

“But still, it wasn’t enough to make him stay. I think I’m just gonna have to leave it at that.”

Steve frowned. “Why are you saying that? Are you going to hide from him?”

“I won’t need to.”

“I’m not sure I’m following you…”

“He will do it for me. That’s what he does, what we do,” you explained. “Except that we used to do it together, hide away from our problems, from the world… But now I’m the reason why he hides away. So I have no other option than letting him go.”

“Don’t bullshit me, little lady... You may get hurt, but that doesn’t mean you stop trying.” 

But you were not sure how many times you still wanted to try. Sometimes you thought that you just don’t know Eddie anymore, that you don’t understand his signs… or that maybe he is not giving any signal at all; it’s just you wishing to have something to hold on to.

“The truth, Steve… the hard truth is that if he wanted something with me, he would have made it clear already, he wouldn’t leave.” you used the back of your hands to wipe your tears, “but he always leaves. And I love him so much, but I’m tired of being on this alone.”

Your suffering hurt Steve deeply. He didn’t understand why things couldn’t be easier for you - if someone with a heart as good as yours was not happy in love, how could anyone else? It wasn’t fair.

“You know, some people live their whole lives and will never get the chance of getting a kiss like that or loving someone as much as you love him. Why don’t you just admit how you really feel? He deserves to know the truth. You deserve to get this out of your chest. I can’t stand you keeping secrets about this.”

“It was just a kiss out of a dare, and look what happened. I can’t say anything; I’m afraid it will only worsen things.”

Steve knew you were confused and hurt, and he didn’t want to push you further, but he also loved you too much, so he couldn’t help but be honest and try to open your eyes.

“Have you noticed that usually bad communication happens out of fear? Fear of conflict, fear of the result, fear of reaction…” he noticed how you looked down, avoiding his gaze. “This fear is a little monster that, if not crushed at the first opportunity of being honest, will grow, and this will become an evergrowing snowball jeopardizing everything.”

“When did you get so wise, big boy?”

“I think you bring the best out of me” he kissed the top of your head.

You were grateful that Steve let you stay there that night. The warm shower, plush sheets, and comfy bed in Steve’s guest room were welcoming, a lull in the middle of the hustle and an escape route from the trailer park, where you’d deep down wanted to be if only things had gone your way, but couldn’t think about going back after all that happened. You were daydreaming in bed when a light tap on the door caught your attention; Steve walked in and sat next to you.

“Are you feeling better?” 

“I am. I’m sorry for my little breakdown earlier… I’ve changed my mind… I’m glad that I’m able to love him so much.” you spoke a little too quickly as if trying to justify something to him. “Could you imagine how hard it would be going through life without ever feeling something so great?” 

“That’s my girl! Things won’t be this bad forever.”

“I know… and I could have avoided all this pain… but it would also mean I would miss all the awesome moments I shared with him. Things are not perfect, but I think I can live with that.” you shrugged.

“Speaking about the pain that could be avoided, but gladly was not… I think I never told you, but thank God I met you when I did… you changed my life.” he held your hand. “I was so heartbroken because of Nancy… I could have easily gone back to being a douchebag that didn’t care about anyone…”

“I doubt that, Steve…”

“I mean it.” he interrupted you. “I was confused back then, but you helped me. And you made me care about you. You showed me that there are still people with good hearts out there.”

“And you are one of them! Come here, big boy” You hugged Steve tightly, and he gently rested his chin on your shoulder.

“You saved me… and I can’t save you… that makes me so sad.”

“I don’t know how I would have survived all of this without your support, Steve. You are the best, and you are very special to me.”

You genuinely enjoyed spending time with him and getting to know him as a person was undoubtedly one of the few good things you got out of the whole nightmarish period when Eddie was with Samantha. You appreciated Steve’s kindness, loyalty, and sense of humor. He deserved so much more credit than he got. 

“Same here, little lady. I just wish you didn’t have to go so far away… but I’m sure you’ll do great things..”

“Just wait and see what I’m about to do with my life.” you laughed. “But don’t worry, a part of me will always be with you.” 

“I’ll miss you so much! Who is going to hang out with me now? No one understands me as you do. How am I going to keep myself busy without you here?”

“You won’t be alone. The kids love you, especially Dustin. Robin is great too.”

“Yeah, but she hates me.”

“She’ll learn to love you, just like I did.” 

“I’m not so sure of it! I’ll miss having someone to take care… and be taken care of.”

“Take care of our kids for me, will ya? I’m sure they’ll need you. And don’t stop looking, you’ll find someone.”

“I’ll try my best! I’ll let you rest now. Everything will be better tomorrow; you’ll see.” 

He kissed your forehead softly and stroked your hair like a loving father saying goodbye to a child at bedtime. All you could hope was that his words were true, that things would improve. But in the meantime, you could still find refuge in the memory of the kiss that changed everything.

It’s strange to see how a whole life fits into just a few cardboard boxes. Memories of years, happy and sad moments, little pieces of you separated into piles, cataloged as things to take to college, leave at home, and donate. Packing up your things was a long process over days, but it helped you physically stay away from Eddie, even though your thoughts were always on him. Until one day, as you were putting out the garbage, he approached slowly as if afraid you would run away from him.

Eddie, the vivid chaotic boy, who just couldn’t shut up about things, who always narrated so many campaigns, who had a quick mind ready to counter any smart player in D&D, was now tongue-tied, unable to find the right words to say, with a heart full of emotions and words stuck in the throat, repressed. He tentatively raised one hand as a ‘hello’ and just got a slight nod of your head as a response, which made his stomach ache. 

“I’m sorry for fucking this up. I hate the silence between us. Shit, I miss you.” he bursted.

“A little late for that, don’t you think?” 

You shouldn’t sound so wounded, damn it; you also missed him, you shouldn’t be pushing him, but your instinct gave out that reactive response before you could control yourself. You could see Eddie closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before speaking again. 

“Look, I don’t want us to go on like this, ignoring each other in life, knowing that soon you are going away.” the dark circles under his eyes indicated that he hadn’t slept well in days. “So I thought if I stopped being so, you know, stupid, and if you were merciful, we could take a shot at just pretending nothing changed and being friends again.”

The sad look in his eyes reminded you of the face he used to have sometimes as a kid. You hadn’t had an easy childhood, but you also knew that you’d somehow muddled your way through it because you had each other to hold on to. Time has passed, but somehow you were still those two kids, not knowing what you were doing but always there for each other. And you had to believe that it wouldn’t change. 

“Ok, I can do that.” you would rather have small pieces of him than nothing. “I miss you, Eds.” you gave him a small, shy smile, thinking how it was so good to tell him that, knowing all the feelings behind that.

Seeing your shimmering eyes and smile made his heart beat quickly. He wanted to take you in his arms and kiss you, but he wanted to take things slow, not wanting to risk losing you again.

“So, you should come to see us at The Hideout tonight… that could be your last chance to see us making a fool of ourselves on the stage before leaving us here.”

“I’ll be there; Gareth invited me… I’ll always be Corroded Coffin’s number 1 fan, no matter what happens or where I am.”

“Then let me show you firsthand the new song I’ll be playing today!” His eyes were now glimmering with barely contained excitement, holding your hand and guiding you to his trailer. 

He showed you the setlist, played some songs, and told you how they almost secured a fixed weekly day to play at the hideout. He was so happy - It was so good to have that soft, funny Eddie back - that boy willing to make a fool of himself just to make you laugh and feel comfortable and happy. It was easy to forget all the worries while standing with him in his bedroom. 

“We should stop running away from each other; things are always better when we are together,” he said, out of breath, after playing a few songs. 

“Hey, don’t look at me; maybe the problem is you.”

“Oh, the problem is definitely me, I’m sure.” 

“You have been nothing but trouble since our younger years,” you said, throwing a pillow at him. 

“But it was fun,” he threw it back. “I didn’t know how much I liked you until I realized every time I saw you, I just smiled…. even you being an annoying little girl, I couldn’t stay away.” 

And you smiled hearing his words, without even meaning to, like some infectious effect that Eddie had on you.

“The idea of having an older boy to protect me was too good to let it pass. I’m glad I found you.”

“I’m glad you never gave up on me.” As much as it was true, those tiny confessions were still hard to come out of Eddie’s mouth, so how the hell was he supposed to say anything else? He was trying to take small steps, but it was not getting any easier. 

He laid down next to you without a word. It could have been an awkward silence, but staying next to him was too good of a sensation for you to complain about.  

“Do you think I’ll adapt to college life? Sometimes it does not feel like something for me,” you said in a shy voice, as that was a genuine concern in your heart. 

“I’m sure you’ll do great! You were made for this! I was not made for college, and unfortunately, I was also not made for anything else” Eddie hugged you and started to brush his fingers through your hair.

“You were made for being with me,” you thought but did not dare to say. As much as you wanted to kiss him and tell him how much you wanted him, you were also happy to be able to be there, hugging him again. 

When you embraced Eddie, you felt like it was a kind of energy transmission, and it made you feel at peace, even if for a few seconds. Staying there with him like this was like the world stopped so you could be truly happy for a while. Even if just for a bit.

And in times like these, feeling his arms around you, you thought that there was nothing greater in life than your love for him… and that it should count for something… but you also knew that it was nonsense, that you were just living the last few breaths of something that had already ended. 

“That was amazing, guys!!” you exclaimed as you entered the backstage. 

“Things will be way quieter now that we won’t have you single-clapping for us after the show anymore.” Jeff laughed.

Acid remarks were being thrown on each side - you would surely miss spending time just hanging out with the boys at the hideout. Eddie, however, was grumpy in the corner of the room, clearly not sharing the fun vibe that was going on. When he noticed you taking gifts from your backpack to give to the boys, the farewell gifts you were distributing to everyone, he couldn’t handle that anymore and stormed out of the room.

“Don’t worry about him; he is just having a hard time dealing with… you know… the fact you are leaving soon” Gareth face transformed with a huge smile when he saw the red flannel shirt you gave him. “I love it, by the way.”

“Yeah, you rock!” Jeff added, proudly looking at the Black Sabbath shirt you gave him. 

“Would you mind if…” you started saying

“Go, he needs you.” Gareth encouraged you with a smile. 

You found him smoking a cigarette, looking to the stars, and he let out a startled gasp when he noticed you approaching. 

“Would you mind sharing?” you said tentatively, getting a small smile from him, and he handed you the cigarette. 

You stayed there for a moment when you finally broke the silence. “What’s wrong, Eds?”

He ran his hands on his face before looking at you. 

“I just can’t understand how everyone could be so okay with you going away.” 

“And I can’t understand why you are acting like this and wasting our time before I’m gone. It’s not easy for me, you know.” you countered. 

Your sudden sincerity took Eddie aback. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. His facial expression seemed confused for a moment, and suddenly he wrapped his arms around you, and you rested your head against his chest. His hands slid up your back, and his cheek leaned against your hair.  

“I’m sorry if I’m making things worse… I’m just feeling lost,” He admitted.

“So am I,” you whispered.

The scariest thing about distance is that he didn’t know what to expect. Maybe you would miss him or completely forget about him. He never planned to fall in love with you, and things could be much easier if he didn’t. But at the same time, thanks to you, he knew that his life was way better.

“Let’s go home, shall we?” he offered.

The ride home was quiet, both of you with a million thoughts running in your heads but not verbalizing a single one. There were so many things you wanted to ask him… but you knew that Eddie would lose it if he knew what you were thinking and feeling. As you got to the trailer park and climbed out of the van, you asked the question that was burning in the back of your mind. 

“So… what should we do with our last days here?” 

“I just want to spend every possible minute of them with you,” he admitted.

How could someone give you so much strength yet still be your only weakness?

“Come on, then,” you said, pulling him into this trailer, feeling his warm and sweaty hand in yours. It was insane to think how you were both afraid of speaking about your feelings but were also unable to deal with how starved for each other closeness you were. 

Laying on the bed beside him felt like a luxury you couldn’t afford. You wished that you hadn’t wasted so much time shutting him out, maybe it was already too late to live what you would really want to, but that didn’t mean that you couldn’t enjoy what you have now. 

“I know you are giving gifts to everyone, but would you accept one from me?” he whispered and smiled when you nodded, agreeing. 

He then turned to hit play on his stereo, and you waited silently. Then the music began. And his voice, sweet, deep, passionate, started singing, and the lyrics described the travels of an adventurer in a distant land with his companion. Under that disguise, you recognized some of your own adventures and moments you both shared, and you knew it was a song about you. You listened, speechless and wide-eyed. You knew he was waiting for your reaction, but you couldn’t find the words to speak. Tears welled in your eyes, and you reached up to wipe them away before they streamed down your face. 

“I thought that maybe you could take the tape to listen whenever you miss us.” his voice was low, and he couldn’t bring himself to look at you.

“Oh, Eds…” you started, but he interrupted you, putting a small package in your hand.

You opened it and couldn’t help but smile. It was a guitar pick necklace, but that wasn’t a typical guitar pick. When you were younger, you started doing small jobs here and there to get some coins, and the first thing you bought wasn’t something for you. You went to the music store and chose that pick for him. He used to tell you it was his lucky pick and used it in important concerts or whenever he was too anxious. 

“Take it with you… maybe it would make you remember me once in a while. You know how it is, out of sight, out of mind.”

You took it in your hand and felt it for a moment. Its energy was warm and comforting, like a warm hug. You placed its chain over your neck and held it close to your heart. 

“You’ll wear it?” he asked.

“Of course, I will.” 

He grinned at you with that wide happy smile that melted your heart. 

“You may not be able to be around me, sweetheart, but you can carry a piece of me with you,” he added shyly. 

You reached out to touch his cheek, and he caught your hand, pressing it against his lips. He stroked your cheek With his other hand, and you could feel the blood rushing beneath your face. You stayed there, pressing your foreheads together, inhaling simultaneously. You wished you weren’t able to be so comfortable in silence because there were moments when things had to be said, but you both were, again and again, choosing to avoid speaking about what really mattered. Once again, you decided to delay a hard conversation and sank into sleep, enveloped in his warmth. 

Eddie, however, was having a hard time falling asleep, afraid that if he closed his eyes, you would disappear. He slowly realized how much he would miss that intimacy - holding the other in the middle of the night, cuddling, holding hands, laughing about something dumb the boys did or said, listening to music, reading to each other. All the lingering stares. All those conversations without speaking. He knew he would not find that with anyone else, and knowing that he was about to lose made him want to cry, and it took a long time until he finally gave up and slept.

Despite the gray day, the sun escaped and entered through the window. When Eddie woke the next morning, he gazed at your back as you slept and felt something that he couldn’t name in the pit of his stomach. It could have been desire or affection, but he knew it was more. 

Your bat tattoo on display seemed to tease him. You made it as a promise that you would fly away together, but now you were leaving, and he would stay behind, left, forgotten. He wanted to hold you close and not let you go away, but he knew it was selfish. 

“I’ll make you proud someday. I promise,” he murmured, knowing you could not hear him. 

He lightly touched each of the bats in your tattoo, trying not to wake you, thinking if they would somehow help you fly back to him one day. A gasp left his lips as he noticed you turning to face him. But you were not awake, not yet. He noticed how your eyes started to blink and knew you were close to waking up, so close… he ran his hand over your face gently and wished he could keep you there. He wished he had the power to know what’s on your mind and wished you couldn’t know what’s on his as he was ashamed of all the messy thoughts clouding his mind.

“Are you awake already, sweetheart? Let me get you breakfast then” he kissed your forehead, getting up and leaving the room. 

An idea has been forming in your mind the whole night, and you looked around, finding Eddie’s notebook and his pen. You hurried and wrote what you wanted desperately to tell him on a piece of paper, folding it and writing “For Eddie” on top of it, leaving it on his bedside table before leaving his bedroom. 

You had existed in a blissful bubble for the past few weeks, living in the moment, savoring every second of the time you spent together. You watched movies, read to each other, went on hikes, laid on the top of his trailer, and gazed at the stars. You took advantage of any opportunity to find comfort in each other’s arms without crossing the line of a kiss again, but you were happy anyway. It had been easy during this time to put off any serious discussion, any talk of the future. But as your last day in Hawkins approached, Eddie started to get sad, and in his heart, he began to believe he wasn’t good enough for you and that soon you would realize it, so it would be better if you were not there by his side when it happened. 

On the morning before your last day, you got up and left the trailer while Eddie slept on unawares, snoring softly. You promised Will that you would play one of his campaigns before leaving, and the boys would meet very early in Mike’s basement. You knew the campaign would likely go through the whole day, so you had already planned a sleepover with Nancy, and Max would join you. Joyce was kind enough to convince Hopper to let El join the boys during the day, so you had the chance to also say goodbye to her, but unfortunately, he didn’t allow her to stay the night. 

It was fun playing D&D with the boys. You couldn’t wait until they got to high school; you were sure that Eddie would love to welcome them to Hellfire. They were excited when you gave them your old miniatures and D&D guides. You knew you wouldn’t have time for it in college, and D&D stuff is usually something that you pass from one player to the other - you hoped that maybe you could pass your guides to Max, but she wasn’t interested in it - hopefully, your old things were safe with the kids until they could find a new player who would benefit from them. 

You had a great time during the night with the girls. You knew that Nancy cared about the kids a lot, and you wanted Max to know that while you would be away, Nancy would still be someone she could count on - that’s why all the moments you three shared mattered a lot to you. And you knew you were going to miss them.

The morning of your last day finally arrived. Steve planned a farewell party for you, which was good, as everyone was busy with their summer jobs and you didn’t see them as much as you wanted to. But that was the last time you would see Max before leaving. When the time for the goodbye came, you gave her your gift: a Walkman. 

“Music always helps, no matter what you’re going through. I’ll be listening to mine, so whenever you listen to yours, we’ll be connected,” you explained when you gave it to her. 

Unexpectedly, Max threw her arms around you. “You be careful,” 

You hesitated just a moment before you hugged her back. “You, too,”

She still kept her arms around your neck, head on your shoulder. “I’ll be all right,” she said, clasping your face. “But I’ll miss you, for sure.”. 

“I’ll miss you too, Max. You have Nancy… and you have El too. She needs her time, but I’m sure you two will be great friends, be patient; it will happen, I know it! And I love you, don’t forget that!”.

“I love you too,” said Max, not wanting to let go of you.

When you got back to the trailer park, Marc was already waiting for you. He was there to get your things to put in the car, so you could go right after the party, not needing to come back to the trailer park later. You were glad he was there to help you - your boxes were heavier than you thought. 

“Need a ride for the party?” he offered after loading the car with the last box.

“I’ll go with Eddie… but I’ll see you there, right?”

“Of course.” his smile diminished a bit. “see you later, princess,” he said before driving away. 

Your house suddenly felt so empty. Your father was drunk already, snoring on the couch, and didn’t pay attention when you tried to say your goodbyes. You left your house and met Eddie in your usual spot in the woods near the trailer park. Without a word, he understood how you were feeling and held your hand, guiding you to the old tire swing where you used to play when you were kids. 

“I think you need a little bit of fun, m’lady,” he said while helping you get into it. 

He pushed you, and you started singing silly songs as you did as a child. He laughed and started to sing along, and at that moment, the sound of your voices made you forget all the things that were worrying you. It was like being back in those simpler times.

“You know I’ll stand by you, support and love you, no matter the distance between us, right? Nothing will ever change.” He said in a choked voice. The fact that he wasn’t looking into your eyes made it a bit easier for him to speak. 

“Things change, Eds… in a moment we were kids playing here.. And in a blink of an eye, a decade goes by, and here we are… with me getting ready to move to another city, having to deal with living by myself, going to college, finding a job, adapting to a whole new life…”

“All of this seems too much for only one girl.”

“Well, don’t blame me for trying. I’ll try to have courage.”

And Eddie thought it was beautiful becausem deep down,  he was a man afraid of many things - and he got distracted for a moment and didn’t notice you tried to jump off the tire swing and fell to the ground.

He hurried to check if you were hurt, and the sound of your laughter echoed while he helped you get back up. The rest of the world dropped away when you took each other’s hand and looked into each other’s eyes. You felt as if you could hear the flickering of birds, water lapping, and the wind blowing, and then all at once, you couldn’t. Everything around you fell silent. It was just the two of you.

It could have been minutes or just a second; you couldn’t measure how long you stared at each other, unable to break eye contact. Eddie looked like he was about to slam you against a tree and make out to you, or maybe it was just the burning desire playing tricks with your mind. Being so close to him was torture. You were tired of pretending.  

“Eddie, I have to admit… I’m scared.” you were on the verge of tears

“Just saying that makes you more brave than you imagine… but you don’t have to be scared, sweetheart.”

But you were scared about the new life ahead of you and the things you were leaving behind. 

“What if I’m making the wrong decisions, Eds? What if…”

He interrupted you: “I’ll be damned if I let your insecurities win. I have never met anyone like you; if there is anyone that can conquer the world, that one is you.”

“The rest of the world may not agree with you, Eds.”

“Sweetheart, other people’s judgments are meaningless… unless you allow them to mean something. Don’t do this”.

And as soon as the words came out of his mouth, Eddie realized something - He was always fearless, not worrying about the bullies in the school, always doing as he pleased… but it was different with you. He usually got speechless and was always worried about messing up and afraid of what you could think… and that was the reason. He didn’t care about what others were thinking except for you. What you could think about him meant the world to him, the opinion that mattered.

There was a lot he wished to confess, but he struggled to let the next phrase come out of his mouth: 

“You know… I’m scared too. Things are easy when you are here… but life will be hard again once you leave.”

“And what does that mean, Eds?” you paused. “Is there anything you wanna tell me?”

His heart was hitting his chest, and he hoped you couldn’t feel its ragged rhythm. He, a man who could talk to anyone, was now tongue-tied in your presence. He just couldn’t seem to control his words or his emotions, though he tried his best. Every time you were together, he held back. He wanted to be all over you but was cautious, not wanting you to see how he was burning for you. 

But time passed, and he kept quiet. You felt your chest getting heavier and bit your lip to avoid the tears pooling in your eyes. You took his silence as a sign of indifference.

“We should get back,” you murmured, defeated, walking back without waiting for him.

The sadness of the cold goodbye you got from your father and the silence from Eddie faded away when you got back to the trailer park, as Wayne was waiting for you with warm eyes and a smile. Saying goodbye to him was more challenging than you thought, and you could already feel the tears pooling in your eyes, and you looked down, not knowing how to say goodbye to him. 

“You should get Hopper to arrest me - leaving you and Eddie alone is practically criminal negligence; who will take care of you now?”

“Our lives won’t be the same without you here… but I think it’s important to get away from where you’ve grown up for some of your life… Go see the world, kiddo! But don’t forget you’ll always have us here whenever you want to come back.”

“What if I don’t want to go?” you mumbled, pouting like a small kid.

“Keep your head up, my sweet, beautiful girl. This is just the beginning. Don’t forget this old man will always wish you all the best.”

You were never good with words, and this time you wished you were because there were so many things you wanted to tell him. 

“I love you, Uncle Wayne!” You hugged him around the waist, tears streaming down your face. 

“There, now. You don’t want to miss your party. Go have fun, kiddo. I love you.”. He patted your back and tried to hide that he was almost crying.

Eddie was also trying to keep his emotions under control and tried his best to distract himself by singing in the car while going to Steve’s house, knowing that was probably the last car ride you would share. He didn’t want to think of all the preparations you did - how you left him a copy of the keys to your trailer, how you let him store some of his belongings in your old room, to declutter a bit his bedroom in his trailer, how you were wearing his favorite shirt, and wearing the guitar pick necklace you gave him. He just couldn’t believe this was the day he would lose you. 

When you got to Steve’s house, everyone was already there - Eddie let you go and join the others, he knew that everyone wanted to spend time with you, and he wanted to let you enjoy it. He was happy to see you all playing and having fun together. 

And during all that, he gazed at you, trying to memorize everything about you. Your hair, your eyes, the clothes you were wearing, your lips, your cheeks, the color of your skin when the sun hit it, your voice, so beautiful while singing along with the boys, that smile that he loved so much. 

He looked at you and wished he would never stop looking at you, but he knew it was the end. He could already imagine that the weeks would pass, maybe you would stop to write back his letters, to answer his calls, there would be that unspoken thing, the heavy silence, and you would then forget about him. So he knew he had to remember every little detail now because those were the last moments he would have the chance to see and witness them.

And you were smiling so beautifully, playing catch with the girls when you stopped and looked at him. And then you started to run to him, and without thinking, he also ran to meet you. He picked you up and spun you around, inhaling the sweet scent of your hair. Being around you made him feel giddy and excited. It made his heart race, and he could not string a coherent sentence, but he was glad it didn’t bother you. 

“You know that not a single day will go by that I won’t think of you, right?”

“Good!” you replied, smiling.

He could picture the whole life ahead you would have, and he couldn’t help but feel like he was holding you back. He had no idea what would happen in the future, which scared him. 

“You and I are going to be okay; you know that, right?” he didn’t know if he was telling that to reassure you or to convince himself about it. 

You nodded, and when your lips opened to say something, Robin grabbed your arms, making you stand in a chair to make a speech to everyone before you left. Shyness washed over you, but you did your best to mumble a few words to everyone.

“And we may have had some ups and downs,” you concluded, looking fondly at the group, “but I love every one of you. I know that I’m moving on to the next chapter of my life, but please know that I sincerely hope we can hold each other close in our hearts. I know I’m taking all this love with me wherever I go.”

“She is smart. Too smart to stay stuck here,” Steve murmured. He could feel the tears falling, and Robin, standing by his side, was surprised to see that he wasn’t trying to stop the tears.

You raised your cup, your eyes shining with tears. “Cheers, everyone. I’m so glad I met you!”

“Cheers!” They all responded in unison, tapping their cups together and wiping their eyes with broad smiles. No one was smiling brighter and crying harder than the curly hair boy in the corner.

“That’s my girl!” you heard Steve call out from the sidelines - you were thankful he was there trying to cheer you, although it made you feel the blood hot under your cheeks.

He held out his arms for you and brought you in a tight hug. “I’m so proud of you, little lady,” he murmured into your hair as you leaned your head against his chest. 

“I know you are, big boy!”

“I’m gonna miss you so much” Nancy stole you from Steve’s arms to hug you. 

“Don’t. Be. A. Stranger.” Jonathan wagged his finger in your face. 

You pretended to think about it for a second. “Sorry, Jonathan. Can’t make any promises.” You patted his face giving him a confident smile.

Eddie stepped into the space Jonathan had once stood in, finding himself beside you. The indescribable urge to touch and kiss you welled in his entire being, but he attempted to keep it at bay.

“Are you gonna say goodbye? I don’t wanna hear it.” Eddie said quickly. 

You shared one last hug, hiding your face in his neck. You mumbled what you knew could be your last words to him.

“I’m afraid we will forget this. I don’t wanna forget how this feels.” 

He stepped back and gently cupped your face, staring into your eyes. “I won’t forget. I could never forget you… it’s hard to forget someone who gave me so much to remember.” 

You were unable to speak another word, lost in those chocolate-brown eyes. You hoped that your eyes would say enough. 

“shh,” he whispered, brushing his thumb across your bottom lip. “it’s okay, sweetheart.”

Your eyes locked, and your breathing quickened. A tiny spark of hope that you would kiss crossed your mind, but the sound of a door slamming snapped you out of the moment. You turned to find Marc ready and waiting for you by his car. 

“Up you go,” Eddie said, in a voice he was fighting to keep steady. He leaned in close, gently, and whispered, “I’ll miss you.” 

He stepped back again, you both just staring at each other awestruck. Dazzled. In his mind, he kept repeating, “I’m never gonna be okay with being apart. I’m gonna keep missing the hell out of you,“ but he couldn’t find the strength to tell you that.  

One side of his mouth pulled up into your favorite uneven smile. You couldn’t catch your breath soon enough to reply and just tried to smile back. The words stuck in your throat as you saw the lost light in his eyes just before he turned and walked away. 

You waved your goodbyes to the others and joined Marc, ready to start the ride. Through it all, you sat numbly in the car, tears leaking steadily from your eyes, while you left your heart, your whole life behind, heading into the unknown. 

Several beer cans were spread out in the trailer’ living room, and Wayne’s heart ached when he noticed a wasted Eddie with his head on the table. 

“Boy, are you ok?” he asked, knowing already the answer.

“She left. Why leave me? Why no one stays? What am I going to do now she is gone?” the intrusive thoughts were fighting their way into Eddie’s mind and were winning. 

“C’mon, boy, as much as heartbroken you must be now… she must have felt the same pain when leaving; she is crazy about you.”

“All I ever wanted was to be enough for her. But I’m not. Do we get what we deserve? Because it seems that I surely don’t deserve her. Why would I? She is now going to college while I’m here, stuck repeating the senior year. I wanted to be a perfect guy and be important, but why would she want someone like me? She would never want…” 

Eddie was speaking so fast, his breathing increasing as he was getting increasingly anxious, until Wayne put a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down. 

“You need to stop being so hard on yourself, Eddie. You need to see yourself as worthy of love, son, because you are.”

“I’m not; I’m just a fucked up mess.” he tried to push Wayne away, but Wayne decided not to leave Eddie’s side. “I always thought that loving someone, giving that much authority to one person was scary, but you see… that’s the easiest part. I would give my whole life to her without thinking twice - but the problem is that my life is not valuable, not enough for her, and that’s scary.”

“Being receptive to affection is one of the things that trauma steals from us, boy, and it hurts me to see this happening to you.” Wayne caressed Eddie’s hair. “I’ve already been in that moment of not accepting, or rather forgetting how to accept good things… and I can tell you that pain can put us in places that are complicated and far away from the ones we care about, and we can get lost… you don’t have to go through that.

“It’s not that easy! When I saw all those romantic movies with her, I understood why she loved them, but I never wanted to live them... I mean, can you imagine loving someone so deeply that when they leave, you crumble into pieces?” he sighed. “And here I am, feeling just like them. And I know what comes next, a pain that will engulf me so much that I won’t be able to eat, sleep or drink properly… I felt it before when we were apart, and now it will be even worse.”

“So you would rather not love her, then…”

“Loving her is the best thing that could have happened to me! But it’s the worst for her! I only mean trouble for her.”

“Life is trouble, son. You’ve got to fight for what you want.”

Eddie spent so long trying to convince himself he did the right thing but wasn’t so sure anymore. He didn’t know what to think. 

“I don’t have the right to hold her life up. I can’t fight for her if that’s not what she wants. I need to respect her decisions, and she decided to go away. There’s nothing I could do.”

Eddie got up and left, not wanting to argue anymore. Wayne sighed - He knew how good for each other you were, how you always encouraged and supported each other, how you saved each other. And he could only hope that this would not be lost forever because he didn’t want to see Eddie suffering. 

Eddie’s eyes drifted across his bedroom as he slowly entered. Every corner had something that reminded him of you, of the connection you two had, a sense of bittersweet nostalgia. What once was his happy place now felt empty and hollow. Whenever he closed his eyes, he saw your trembling lips trying to form a smile in that farewell moment. The weight of unspoken words pressed heavily upon his heart.

He sank onto the edge of the bed, letting out a sigh, replaying the moment of your parting in his mind - you have left for college, to your new beginning, while his feelings remained locked away, unvoiced - as these emotions surged, a whirlwind of frustration and regret filled his chest - he wanted to believe it was the right thing to do, he didn’t want to hold you back from pursuing your dreams, but with every minute away from you, his doubts gnawed at his resolve.

Amid his thoughts, a sudden flicker of color caught his eye. The folded piece of paper was on the nightstand amidst the chaos of scattered textbooks and old photographs. Seeing your handwriting in “For Eddie” made him smile. 

He hadn’t dared to read it when you left it for him, but he hoped that your letter would have words of comfort and would help him cope with your absence. His trembling hands reached out to retrieve it, and his heart skipped a beat as he unfolded the note.

“FUCK! SHIT, SHIT, NO!” Eddie yelled, his frustration growing into a potent mix of anger and regret, settling like a heavy fog, enveloping his senses, making him throw things around - while broken fragments stayed scattered on the floor, his tears burning their way down his cheeks. 

He sank to his knees, clutching the note tightly in his hands. It was a poignant reminder of the depths of feelings and the missed opportunity to express them. With every fiber of his being, Eddie wished he could turn back time and rewrite the script of your farewell.

Instead of the heartful, lengthy letter that Eddie expected, you wrote only 4 simple words to him:

“Ask me to stay.”

💜 For all of you that are still reading this, thank you, thank you! This story is my little baby, a coping mechanism for me and writing it helps me feel better, and I can't believe that there are people that actually read it! 🥰 Your feedback, likes, reblogs, and comments make my day!

@sidthedollface2 @bimbobaggins69 @moonmoosblog @corrodedseraphine @ghosttownwherenoonegoes @basketcaseeeeee @chloe-6123 @tlclick73 @them-cute-boys @mushroomelephant @crook3d-strang3r @ingridvasquez @vulcrum332 @1paire2vans @strangerthingsstories5255 @stranger-messenger @mitenchii @sherrylyn628 @sapphire4082

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[gaybitchfx]

Hey!!!!

I love your writing!

Can i request Eddie Munson x male reader, where the reader is a total menace to society, and like Eddie is seen as a freak.

The type of guy to steal a street sign, just someone who hardly takes anything seriously and is just goofy the whole time.

But when the whole Vecna thing happens people start to see that the whole "I'm dumb, let's do something fun" front is just a facade and he's actually this insecure boy, with a fucked up family, that just tries to keep the others happy.

And like him kinda sacrificing himself in the Upside down, but he makes it out alive through dumb luck and a few skills he picked up while being a menace to society

Note: I’m so glad you love my writing! And I snorted when reading this 😭 This shit is long too since I had to rewatch episode 9 to remember what had happened.

A LITERAL MENACE

Character(s): Eddie Munson

Type of reader: M!Reader

Category: Fluff & Angst

Warning(s): Spoilers for season 4 and episode 9!

Edited: ❌

You were an…odd case.

Whenever Jason would throw insults are Eddie or call him a freak you would literally threaten him and throw your own insults till Eddie has to make you shut up. Like right now, Jason had decided to pick on Eddie once again for the 3rd time this week.

"Listen here you dirty blond bimbo, my patience with you is quickly becoming limited and I'm ready to just throw you out the goddamn window!" You pointed and shouted at him getting everyone's attention in the cafeteria. "Pssh...as if you could even pick me up L/n. You don't have the guts." Jason laughed making his little gang laugh as well.

"You think I'm playing games now huh?! I'll fuckin soccer kick you in the goddamn balls Carver!" You said and as you were walking towards him Eddie quickly grabbed you and just pulled you away from Jason.

"You're lucky I'm bein held!!" You shouted before Eddie put a hand over your mouth. “Just allow your little freak boyfriend to take you away you fucking menace.” Jason scoffed making your blood boil. Eventually everyone resumed to what they were doing and you just sighed when you calmed down. "Honestly, he's so goddamn annoying. Next time he bothers you Eddie make sure to tell me so I can get a stop sign and whack him in the head like a tennis ball." You said with a grin. Everyone at the table blinked owlishly at what you said.

"You don't...actually mean that, right?" Dustin asked as he nervously laugh. "Maybe I do maybe I don't. It all depends on how I feel." You shrugged as you took a bite of your apple.

"You really are a menace Y/n." Mike said making you laugh. "I've been told that for years Mike! Sometimes it's a compliment and others, like Jason and his little basketball friends, it's an insult. But I'll take what you said as a compliment!" You said and gave Mike a slap on the back making a small 'oof' sound come from him.

Now, when you got involved into the whole Vecna thing your personality did a whole 180. You were scared, worried, hell you didn't even know what other emotions you were experiencing all at once.

"I'm fuckin scared man, why did i even agree to this?!" You shouted over Eddie playing his guitar as you held a a baseball bat with nails close to you along with a shield that had more nails in them. "Don't worry Y/n! You'll be fine!!" Dustin shouted before putting goggles on and saw the bats weren't too far. "Eddie!! We gotta lock down in T-minus thirty seconds!" Dustin shouted at him as one hand showed a 3 and another showed a 0. Eddie nodded his head and began playing faster.

"T-minus twenty!" Dustin once again shouted and Eddie played faster. "T-minus ten!" You were pacing back and forth as you watched the bats get closer and closer making you scared shittless. "Five!" Dustin shouted and held up his hand. "One!" And with that Eddie did one last strum of his guitar before they all started running inside. Everyone was shouting at each other before they finally got inside.

"Dude...most metal ever!" "Oh my... Oh my God." They both hollered and jumped in excitement. You and the other hand was walking back and forth while gripping your hair in a panic state. "It's alright Y/n. Calm down we're all safe." Eddie said, trying his best to calm you down.

"Calm down?! How am I gonna calm down when there fucking man eating bats right outside that can come and get us at any second?!" You shouted at him, your voice cracked while doing so.

"Wow... This is the first time I'm seeing you like this.." Dustin said, his eyes widened in shock. "I'm not who you really think I am. I'm not so upbeat when it comes to things like this... I have family issues and I really just wanna keep you all happy so none of you have to worry so much when you might have your own problems.. I even worry about what you guys think of me so I put up this little facade to make you all like me." You blurted out while sniffling since you were crying from both stress and fear. They both stood there in silence as they allowed the information to sink in.

"You don't gotta put up an act to make us like you Y/n. You can just be you and we'll still like you." Eddie said as he placed a hand on your small and gave it a couple pats. Dustin nodded agreeing before he jumped since the banging outside became louder. All three males stood close to the exit and kept their guard up.

"Hey, dipshits! Give up that easy, huh?!" Dustin shouted as the banging became quiet. "Hush! Is this really necessary?" Eddie hushed Dustin. "They're on the roof." Eddie said and pointed his spear up at the ceiling. "Shit, shit shit," Dustin muttered under his breath as all three of them began to follow where they were heading.

"It's too quiet... Is there any other way to can get inside?" You asked as you looked at a certain hole in the roof before one had put its head inside scaring everyone. Dustin and Eddie both began stabbing at it since they were the ones with a spear while you only had a bat which you were pretty good at handling. Eddie then grabbed a chair and stood on it before placing his 'shield' over the hole.

"Wait... Are there any other vents in here somewhere?" You asked making Eddie's eyes widen. "Oh, shit!" Eddie quickly got off the chair and grabbed his spear before running to where he knows where one of the vents were, Dustin and Y/n followed right behind him.

When they got to his room a bunch of bats came flying out the vent. Eddie had quickly closed the door before they could come out of the room, but as soon as he did that one of them began hitting the door and soon more followed. "Shit!" Dustin shouted as he, you, and Eddie made a run for it to the exit.

"That's not gonna hold!" "Let's go! Let's go!" "Holy mother of mary!" The all shouted as Dustin climbed up the rope and Eddie followed right after him. "C'mon Y/n!! Hurry up!!" Dustin screamed. "That door isn't going to hold forever!!" Eddie shouted. You held onto the rope before a little thought crossed your mind.

You pulled on the rope completely making it fall down and then you moved the mattress out of the way. "Y/n!! What the fuck are you doing?!!" Eddie screamed at you, worry in his eyes. "I'll make sure to come back. If I don't than one of you can take all the shit I own!" You told them with a smile. "Y/n!" Dustin shouted but you were long gone. You pulled an Eddie and ran outside attracting all of them to you.

You stayed a couple feet away from the house and held the bat you hand in your hand ready to swing. So when one came at you, you didn't hesitate to hit it and a couple more followed after and you just went ham on hitting them. "C'mon you fuckers!! Let's play a lil baseball and see how things end!!" You shouted before whacking one off to the side.

Eddie and Dustin had to go quickly because now that max 'died' it caused four large splits into the ground. "What about Y/n?!" Eddie shouted at Dustin as they watched his house get split into slight halves. Dustin couldn't even answer that question because he didn't know if you were actually alive or not.

Dustin looked over at the slightly split house before seeing a hand on the side of the open part of the house. And out came you from around the corner limping, bleeding a bit, and really tired. "Y/n!!" Dustin shouted as he ran over to you. Eddie followed right behind Dustin before they both pulled you away from the large crack. You looked at the two with a smile. "Told ya I was gonna come back." You said with a thumbs up.

"H-...How? I thought you died in there..." Eddie sobbed as he hugged you with a tight ass grip along with Dustin. "Dumb luck I suppose. And my sweet baseball moves!" You laughed before groaning.

"Can we go to the hospital at least? I think I fractured my ribs and pulled a muscle in my leg. After that let's see if we can get Eddie's name cleared from being a murderer." You said. "O-...Oh right the hospital!" Dustin exclaimed as he wrapped one of your arms around his neck to help you walk. Eddie stood there about to say something, but instead he kept quiet.

"You too pretty boy, let's go." You said and motioned him over to you. Eddie let out a breathy chuckle before wrapping your other arm over his shoulder.

#eddie munson #eddie stranger things #eddie x male reader #eddie x you #eddie x reader #eddie x y/n #fiction #fluff #angst #male reader #stranger things x male reader #stranger things

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Destiny & Deliverance: Chapter 12

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Dieter Bravo X OFC New as of 8/04/2023

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Series Rating: Explicit (18+)

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives. 

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk.

Chapter Quote: “Oh, so that’s what he’s up to. I had a feeling he was scheming.”

Dieter grabbed my hand and pulled me along behind him toward the sound. He gave my hand a squeeze before letting go to open the door. He was greeted by his sister, Gabriela, and brother-in-law, Shaun. Their kids, Sara, Samuel, and Luke filed in right behind them. All three ran over to hug their “Uncle Dieter” before taking off through the house with Shaun following close behind, already telling them to slow it down. Dieter took that time to introduce me to his sister. She gave me a big smile which looked very similar to his as she came over to wrap me in a warm hug. She stepped back with her hands on my shoulders, looking me over. She turned to her brother, “Dieter, ella es hermosa! (Dieter, she is beautiful!)”  

“Si, una amiga muy hermosa. (Yes, a very beautiful friend.)” He gave her a stern look, followed by a small smirk. 

She looked at him with disbelief and replied, “Right. I’m sure,” as she stepped away from me. 

I shifted my eyes between the two of them with a tight smile and raised eyebrows, having no idea what was happening.

“Don’t pay any attention to Gabby, she’s just giving me a hard time.” He gave his sister a pointed look. 

“Well, that happens to be one of my favorite pastimes, so I think I’ll let her continue without intervening.” 

“Now I didn’t introduce you two so you can gang up on me.” Dieter said with mock horror. 

“Why not? You and Lauren gang up on me all the time.”

Gabby laughed as she linked her arm with mine. “I think we’re going to be best friends,” she said as she led me toward the kitchen. 

“Dieter has told me so much about you. I’m surprised he wanted to have this little get together so we could meet. That isn’t something he typically does with his friends.” 

Gabby was eyeing me as she spoke. Like she was expecting some sort of reaction to her words. 

“I think of it as more of a housewarming party and he needed help cooking. Not so much to meet me…or Lauren. Lauren is around here somewhere too…helping with the food.” 

I sounded like such a spaz. I just needed to stop talking because she was making me nervous, and I was starting to ramble. I could feel my heart rate speeding up.

“Lauren, right. I’m pretty sure Dieter is trying to set her and our brother up. He was pretty insistent that Alex come meet her.” 

“Oh, so that’s what he’s up to. I had a feeling he was scheming.” I shook my head and laughed at the thought. It seemed so random. 

As if on cue, Dieter came walking into the kitchen with a handsome younger version of himself following behind him. I gave Alex a polite smile as Dieter introduced us. 

While we were all standing around chatting, Lauren came in through the back door to grab some items to take outside. All eyes turned to her, and she slowly came to a stop, freezing in place as her eyes caught sight of Alex. A shy smile spread across her face, and she gave a little wave. Dieter walked over linking arms with her, pulling her over to meet everyone. Taking special care when introducing her to Alex. 

“Alex, this is my good friend Lauren. She runs that art shop I told you about and teaches the classes.”  He turned to Lauren, gesturing toward his brother. “Alex is into art too. He likes to do sketches, but it’s just a hobby. He’s currently going to school to be a pediatrician.”  

Gabby and I silently watched the exchange. Occasionally elbowing one another or shooting each other a look. It was obvious they were smitten with the intense eye contact between the two of them as Dieter kept talking, trying to facilitate a conversation between them. 

Gabby let out a small laugh and turned her back toward the trio.

“Alex is so shy around girls. This may be painful to watch.” She said in a low conspiratorial voice.

“Lauren doesn’t tend to be shy, so maybe she’ll get him out of his shell.”

However, the more I watched her, the more I realized she was indeed acting shy. This was new. I looked back at Gabby, “You’re right, this might be painful. I don’t know what’s gotten into her.” 

We both laughed a little too loudly, which got everyone else’s attention. I cleared my throat awkwardly as all three of them looked at us. 

“Lauren, how about you get the meat started on the grill,” I blurted out. 

She gave me a panicked look. I knew she didn’t know how to work the grill. It was officially payback for all the times she would do or say something in front of Dieter. I tried to hold in a smile as I looked over at Dieter, then quickly glanced at his brother, then back to him with a raised eyebrow. He caught on.

“Alex, how about you help Lauren with that. You’re the grill master after all.” 

“Uhh, yeah. On it.” Alex said as he shook his head and walked toward Lauren asking what he could do to help. They grabbed some things out of the refrigerator before heading out the back door. As soon as they were out of earshot, all three of us burst into laughter. This day just got significantly more interesting. It might be enough to keep me distracted from my anxiety. 

Once the three of us calmed ourselves, we moved outside with everyone else. Lauren and Alex were still manning the grill, both shyly chatting with one another. Alex appeared to be showing her how to work it. I busied myself with setting the food out as it was ready. Gabby sat at the table watching the chaos unfold as she sipped a cocktail that she had made for herself and snacked on the appetizers. Dieter immediately ran over to play with the kids and surprised them with the massive water guns he had picked up for the occasion. He pulled out the extras and gave one to Shaun and kept one for himself as they all chased each other around the yard in battle mode. 

As I was setting things up, I watched Dieter. He would have made such a wonderful father. He was so good with the kids. For the first time since New York, the memory of him saying he had a vasectomy came to mind. Did he really not want kids at all? It was hard to believe after seeing him like this. I suddenly felt a sadness wash over me, wondering if it had anything to do with whatever haunted his beautiful soul. 

He still hadn’t opened up to me in detail about his issues, but I knew he was dealing with things. I knew he had been going to therapy. I could typically tell the mornings he had been. He was always more reserved and quieter, opting to have a quick workout session alone before he would really interact with anyone. I never questioned him about it. I only offered comforting gestures and support when I knew he was down. I knew he would talk to me when he was ready.

As I stood near the table watching him, I realized Gabby now had her eyes on me. Studying me. 

“He’s really good with kids, you know. I’m still holding out hope that one day he’ll finally settle down and have some of his own.”

I smiled nervously at her comment, feeling like she could read my mind. I wasn’t really sure how to respond. Clearly, she didn’t know about his minor operation. I opted for humor. 

“He’s basically a big kid himself, so it makes sense.”    

She chuckled, nodding in agreement as she turned her attention back to him. Dieter noticed us watching him. He paused slightly, giving me a questioning look before walking over, appearing to be concerned about something. He stopped in front of me, reaching out to grab my right hand from my shoulder. I hadn’t even realized it was there. It was then I noticed that my brows were drawn down together and my jaw felt tight. In my periphery, Gabby was watching us intently. 

“Do you need help with anything?” 

He was giving me an out in case I needed a break. I shook my head from side to side as I gave him a small smile and relaxed my features. I appreciated that he was still thinking of me, even with his family around. He gave me a reassuring smile and squeezed my hand as he led me over to sit at the table with him and his sister. I sat first and he scooted his chair closer before he sat down beside me. He leaned back and draped his right arm across the back of my chair, grabbing a small piece of my hair to twist around his fingers. I wasn’t sure if he was doing that as a distraction for me or for himself as he suddenly seemed nervous too. It possibly had something to do with the way his sister was watching us. Her eyes kept dropping down to his fingertips twirling my hair as they chatted. 

“So, are Anna and the gang coming later?” Gabby eventually asked him.

He looked down at the table where he was tapping the fingers of his left hand. It was his turn to draw his brows down together before answering. 

“Yeah, they're supposed to. I’m not exactly sure who all is coming though.”

Dieter had mentioned Anna and “the gang” in earlier conversations. It was his group of friends that he typically spent time with while he was in LA. They were all actors, like him. He had known Anna since they were young and at one time, they were best friends. He had said the group was heavy into partying and he was currently trying to do a little less of that. He wasn’t sure how he was going to fit into the group now that he was trying to cut some of those behaviors out of his life. He did want to try for Anna’s sake though.

I noticed Gabby gave a slight look of disapproval at his answer. It seemed like she wasn’t a fan. 

“How is she going to handle you having a new best friend?” Gabby asked with a raised eyebrow. Still sipping on her drink. 

I could feel Dieter tense beside me. His left hand moved to the middle of his abdomen. Something I noticed he often did when he was feeling anxious. I leaned forward with my left hand, giving his knee a small squeeze. 

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’m excited to meet everyone.” 

I’m not sure if I came off as enthusiastic as I had meant to, but it had the intended effect. He visibly relaxed at my touch. Gabby was studying us again. She had a curious look on her face. 

Suddenly our attention was drawn toward the grill, where Alex was rushing to put out a rather large flame. Lauren stood there, stunned. I had no idea what led to it, but the resulting scene was hilarious. The kids ran over and started spraying toward the grill with their water guns, but mostly just sprayed Alex and Lauren while he battled the flame himself with a hand towel. Dieter let out a cackle as he leaned his head on my shoulder. Once he caught his breath, he yelled toward Lauren, “I know I don’t know how to cook, mi pequeño giraso, but I’m pretty sure that ain’t it.” 

Lauren responded by flipping him the bird, to which Alex burst out laughing. 

“Well, I’m happy to see they’re bonding,” Dieter said to Gabby and me with a chuckle. 

Soon after that little incident, Alex declared the food was ready. There were a few hot dogs he had to toss, but otherwise, everything else turned out ok. Shaun wrangled the kids so that he and Gabby could get their plates going. Everyone else fell in behind them. 

Dinner with Dieter and his siblings was interesting. It seemed like they each had different silent side conversations going with each other from looks alone. However, verbal conversation flowed uninterrupted. It was clear they were all close and cared for each other. They were all easy going and welcoming to Lauren and me. It was as if we had known them for years already. I was having a good time and didn’t feel anxious at all. I could see why Dieter wanted me to meet them before everyone else. 

By the time we had finished eating, all of us, aside from Shaun, had consumed multiple drinks and were a little buzzed. Alex and Shaun took off after the kids with the water guns while the rest of us sat around and chatted some more. At one point, Dieter stood from the table. 

“Can I get you guys anything while I’m up?” Lauren and Gabby shook their heads no. I sat there for a moment, trying to remember the name of the drink he had mixed for us earlier. He looked down at me and touched the back of my hair.

“Mi Estrella? Anything?” 

“Well, the name has left me, but bring me whatever drink you made us earlier, please.” 

He briefly laughed at me, before Gabby caught our attention. She was staring at Dieter with a shocked look on her face. Her eyes turned glassy. A look passed between them that I didn’t understand. He lowered his head, looking slightly embarrassed and walked toward the back door without another word. She watched him retreat, with a bizarre look on her face. Lauren and I exchanged a glance. She had noticed it too. Gabby cleared her throat as she turned her attention back to me with a small smile on her face. I gave her a questioning look.

“Everything ok?” I asked her.

She smiled wider and looked down at the ground.

“I’ll save that one for him to share when he’s ready.”   

I wasn’t really sure how to respond, so I just smiled in return. Lauren, who was clearly sensing the awkwardness, quickly changed the subject and invited Gabby to bring the kids to one of her art classes for the younger age group. Gabby seemed thankful for the subject change. 

After several minutes, Dieter returned, followed by a group of people. I assumed this was “Anna and the gang.” It was a flurry of activity as he attempted to introduce Lauren and I to everyone. They didn’t seem very interested as they continued to talk loudly amongst themselves. None of their names really stuck, except Anna’s. She was pretty enough with her light brown hair hanging in waves down her back. She was tall and had an interesting choice in fashion. She was wearing some brown baggy cotton capri pants and a matching loose fitting short sleeve button up. It reminded me of something my grandma used to wear.

I stood to greet her, she looked me up and down as she reached out her hand.

“You must be the infamous Natalia that I have heard so much about lately.”

I gave her a warm smile as I returned her handshake, trying to be friendly, but she was making it hard. Something about her rubbed me the wrong way.

“That’s a cute little sundress. Interesting choice.”

I was a little stunned by her tone. I wasn’t sure if she was being facetious or not. Dieter picked up on my uneasiness before I could respond. 

“Isn’t it though? She was turning heads the whole time we were out shopping this morning,” he said as he put his arm around my shoulders to briefly pull me into his side, then handed me the drink he was holding. He lowered his hand from my shoulder to rest on my bare back and rubbed gently.

Anna seemed confused by his response, but she smiled anyway. I chanced a glance over at Lauren, she didn’t seem very impressed with that whole exchange. I sat back down with my drink. Dieter continued to stand and chat with small groups of his friends as they scattered about. I noticed Gabby looking at Anna with narrowed eyes as she moved around between the groups with Dieter. Gabby leaned toward me and spoke quietly.

“Just so you know, they never dated or anything. Also, she’s kind of a bitch, so don’t let her get to you. She doesn’t really care for new people that much.” 

Lauren overheard her and burst out laughing. I looked at Gabby with wide eyes. That was not what I was expecting from her. I just shook my head in agreement as I laughed. 

The three of us spent the next hour chatting amongst ourselves. Alex eventually came over to join us, which perked Lauren up. It didn’t go unnoticed that they kept sneaking glances at one another. They were both being so shy that it was comical to watch.

As day turned to night and the alcohol flowed, the recent additions to our party were getting a little sloppy and obnoxious. After overhearing comments about the kids being a buzzkill while they played in the pool with their dad, Gabby decided it was time to head out for the evening. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with them. I gave her an apologetic look as she got up to get Shaun’s attention. They got the kids out of the pool and started getting them ready to head out. 

I looked around in search of Dieter. He was over near the pergola, now lit with string lights, chatting with Anna and two others. He stood with one hand in the pocket of his shorts, the other holding a drink. His shoulders seemed tense as did the look on his face. Everyone else seemed to be smiling and having a good time, so I found it odd. I walked over and sidled up next to him. Gently setting my hand on his back between his shoulder blades to get his attention. He turned his head to look at me, giving a tight smile. I gave him a questioning look as I reached up to run my fingers through the hair at the back of his neck, causing him to relax and lean into me. 

“Your sister is about to leave. You wanna come help me pack up some leftovers for them?”  

He shook his head and told the group he would be back as he walked with me toward the back door. 

“Everything ok? You seem a little tense?”

“Yeah, I just kind of forgot what hanging out with them is like. They can be a lot sometimes. Also, my sister isn’t a fan. It probably wasn’t the best idea to have everyone here together.”

“It’s been fine. Your sister’s been hanging out with us. They’re all having a good time.”

I gave his arm a small squeeze as he wrapped a plate of food with plastic wrap. Anna walked through the back door at that point.

“You guys need any help?” 

“No, I think we’ve got it covered.” Dieter replied. 

She stood there for a moment, watching us move around the kitchen. I opened one of the cabinets to pull out some of the extra disposable foil pans to put more food in. I could feel her eyes on me as I did so.

“You seem to know your way around his kitchen.”

“Well, she’s been here for two days cooking, so I should hope so.” Dieter said with an annoyed tone. 

“Have you been spending a lot of time here, cooking, Talia?”   

I felt like she was insinuating something. 

“No, actually. Yesterday was my first time coming here.” 

Anna raised her eyebrow in response. Dieter stopped packaging the food and gave her a pointed look. She said nothing else as she made her way back outside, passing Gabby, Shaun, and the kids as they came inside. She didn’t even acknowledge them. I looked at Dieter and he shrugged, then went back to what he was doing. 

Gabby came over and hugged me in a tight embrace as she said, “It was so nice meeting you. I hope we can spend more time together very soon.” 

She turned to her brother, hugging him just as tightly. As she released him, she gave him a serious look before pointing at him to say, “Te amo hermano... y me gusta ella. No lo jodas.” (I love you brother…and I like her. Don’t fuck it up.)

Dieter blushed slightly as he laughed in response. He looked down as he replied, “También te amo, hermana.”

Dieter and I helped carry the leftovers outside to their car which resulted in more byes and hugs from the kids. Afterwards, we headed to the back yard. Lauren was still sitting at the table with Alex and another woman, who seemed to be attempting to flirt with him. He wasn’t impressed and Lauren looked annoyed. Dieter looked at Lauren, shaking his head. 

“Julia, cut it out,” he said to the woman. She rolled her eyes at him as she got up to stumble off elsewhere. 

The rest of the evening was fairly uneventful. Everyone else seemed nice enough and were friendly toward Lauren and I. Anna took it down a few notches and attempted a conversation with us. She wasn’t so bad, but she seemed to be having a hard time with it for whatever reason. 

Around nine thirty Lauren decided she was going to call it a night. She was exhausted after two long days of prepping for this thing. Alex jumped in to say he was pretty tired and going to head home as well. He asked Lauren if she was ok to drive. She said that she was. I scoffed and gave her a look that said, “Really?” I guarantee he would have offered her a ride home if she had said no. She stared at me momentarily, realizing what I was hinting at. She shook her head at me. I rolled my eyes in response. He did at least walk with her to the car. That was something, hopefully. 

Now that everyone I knew had left, I felt a little anxious, which led to a couple more drinks. Dieter didn’t leave my side after Lauren left. I think that was just as much for him as it was for me though. The more his friends shifted into party mode, the more tense he seemed. 

As the evening progressed, I noticed we were always touching in some way. It could have been anything from his leg being pressed against mine to his arm resting on the back of my chair twirling my hair. Some of his friends were giving him a hard time because he was being “boring” and not drinking more. I’m not sure what they expected from him. He was drinking and having a good time, but he wasn’t getting sloppy drunk like they were. This must be what he meant by them not being supportive.

It was close to midnight when everyone finally started to thin out. I busied myself with cleaning up while Dieter saw to it that everyone was covered getting home. Anna seemed to be lingering around to help with that also. However, I got the feeling she was waiting for me to leave too since she kept asking if I needed any help “finishing up.”  Dieter finally spoke up and told her we had it covered from here while he set her up with an uber. She seemed slightly annoyed at his response, but eventually left without a fuss.

Once she was out the door, he looked like he was ready to crash. I gathered up my things and was about to head home when he stopped me.

“Wait, where are you going?” 

“I’m gonna walk home. It’s not that far.”

“At this hour? You most certainly will not.”

“You don’t need to be driving.”

“Well, I’ll walk you then.”

“No. I don’t want to find you sleeping in the shrubbery when tomorrow rolls around.” 

I raised an eyebrow at him. He laughed.

“I’m not that far gone, sweetheart. I think I can handle it.” 

“It’s ridiculous for you to walk there and back.”

“You could just stay with me, and I’ll take you home in the morning.”

He seemed surprised by the words that came out of his own mouth. He clearly didn’t think about what he was saying before he said it. I stared at him, a little surprised too. This was a slippery slope he was on. 

“That probably isn’t a good idea...” 

“Oh come on, I can behave myself. You should know better than that by now. I’ll even make you some breakfast in the morning.” 

“You don’t know how to cook, remember?”

“I can handle the basics…”

I sighed. I really didn’t feel like walking home, seeing as the room was still spinning slightly. I really hoped this didn’t make things weird. 

“Fine, but I’m making breakfast.”

“Oh thank God. I didn’t want to do all that walking.” 

I laughed at him, “Yeah, me neither.” 

He walked over and put his hands on my hips from behind and started pushing me toward his bedroom. 

“Let’s go, then. I’m toast.”

He gave me some of his gym shorts and one of his band t-shirts to sleep in. He also had an extra toothbrush that he donated to the cause. I changed in his bathroom, then opened the door so he could come in to brush his teeth while I did the same. As we stood there, my mind wandered to all the wrong places, as usual. Sometimes it was the simplest things that made me want more. Usually, it was the domestic behaviors like this that really got me. 

I noticed he kept looking at me in the mirror as I casually looked around his bathroom. It was the first time I had been in that room, and I was trying to keep myself distracted. I noticed that it was surprisingly very clean. He probably has a maid, I thought. 

He finished brushing his teeth, then stood back in the doorway, continuing to watch me as I rinsed my mouth out. When I finished, I stood there awkwardly holding the toothbrush up, silently asking what to do with it. He laughed and took it from my hand and stuck it in the toothbrush holder. I felt a little flutter in my stomach. I don’t know why. It wasn’t like he didn’t already have a bunch of his stuff over at my house as it was. 

“What are you thinking about so hard?” He asked with a half smirk on his face. 

“I’m thinking you have a really clean bathroom for a dude. What are you thinking about so hard?”     

“That you look kind of adorable in my clothes that are like three sizes too big for you.” 

I looked down and laughed.

“I do feel like a child playing dress up.” 

We both started laughing as we walked toward the bed. The shorts were a problem. They didn’t want to stay on me, which caused him to laugh even harder. The t-shirt was pretty big, so I ended up losing the shorts before I crawled into bed. It just wasn’t going to work. 

“Don’t get any ideas.” I shot at him as I untied the drawstring and let them fall off to the floor on their own. He looked offended that I would suggest such a thing and I laughed at him.

Then he took off his shirt, acting in a shy manner, and shot back, “Don’t YOU get any ideas.” 

“Shut up and go to bed.” I responded as we both continued to laugh. 

We got settled and he turned off the lamp on his side. Lying in bed with him in the dark was not a good idea. I could almost feel the electricity in the air. I could feel his warmth radiating over to me. I didn’t think I was ever going to fall asleep, but eventually I did.  

I awoke the next morning to the feeling of a slight throbbing in my head, I most certainly had a hangover. It took me a moment to realize where I was and who was currently laying across me. At some point in the night, Dieter and I had migrated toward the middle of the bed. I was laying on my back and he was laying in the crook of my arm on his side, with his face buried in my neck. My hair was partially covering his face. He had one of his legs thrown across mine and his hand had found its way under my t-shirt and was resting on my bare stomach. Fuck. This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen. 

I laid there for several minutes trying to figure a way out of this situation that wouldn’t make it weird. To make things worse, he kept nuzzling his face further into my neck and hugging me tighter. A part of me wanted to wake him up and take things further, but I knew that was a terrible idea and I really needed to stop thinking like that. 

I finally bit the bullet and tried to slide out from under him. He groaned and tightened his grip. I put my hand on his head, giving him a small scratch, and told him I was getting up to make breakfast. He groaned again but let me slide out from under him. I wasn’t sure if he even knew what was going on. He seemed out of it.

I made my way to his kitchen and started pulling out ingredients for an omelet and took a few minutes to figure out how to work his ridiculously complicated coffee maker. I pulled my hair back in a twisty knot to keep it out of my face while I worked. As I was cooking the bacon, I heard the front door open. I turned around, confused, and found Anna walking around the corner. She froze when she saw me in the kitchen, cooking, in Dieter’s shirt with no pants. I’m sure that looked great.

“Oh, Anna, hi. Ummm, would you like some breakfast?” I offered with what I can only describe as a grimace on my face. That a way to make it awkward, Talia.

“Umm no. I don’t eat that stuff. I’m vegan, but thanks. Where’s Dieter?”

“I think he’s still in bed.” 

“Oh, well I was going to see if he wanted to go out to breakfast and catch up, but I can see that’s probably a no.” 

I smiled nervously. I wasn’t really sure how to handle this. Luckily, Dieter chose that moment to come stumbling into the kitchen, still half asleep, in nothing but his shorts. This was the first time I was getting the full view of his topless form in the light of day and Christ he looked more amazing than he did last time I saw him like this. I tried not to stare, but it was hard.

“Oh, there you are.” Anna said, rather sarcastically. 

“I came by to see if you wanted to grab breakfast, but obviously you’re covered. So, I’ll just let you two get back to it.”

“You can stay and eat with us if you want,” he offered. 

“You know I don’t eat that shit. Call me when you finally have a free minute to yourself, please.”

She gave a flippant wave as she walked toward the front door. As soon as the door closed, he leaned across the island, propping his head on his hand.

“Remind me to move the hidden key so she can’t walk in like that anymore, please. I don’t like that.”  

“I don’t think she’s a fan of me.”

“She’s not really a fan of anyone who isn’t ‘like us’. She thinks I’m lying to her about us dating and she’s also pretty damn salty that I haven’t been at her beck and call here lately. She doesn’t get the whole self-improvement thing. I’m just supposed to be fine as I was. So, don’t take it personally. It’s just her and her need to control everything.”

“She thinks we’re dating?”

“Yes, because I’ve been spending so much time with you and Lauren. It’s the only plausible explanation in her mind. Of course, I’m sure finding you here this morning isn’t gonna help that any.”

“Oh well. That sounds like a personal problem she needs to deal with,” I said with a shrug. 

“Says you. I’m the one having to deal with the fallout. I hate to just cut her off because we’ve been friends since we were teenagers. Hopefully, she’ll eventually come around and learn to be more supportive of my choices.” 

“Fair point. Maybe she will.” I gave him a small smile and went back to making the omelets. It really was unfortunate that he didn’t have more supportive friends. I could see why he would distance himself and seek support elsewhere.

He pulled himself up to sit on the counter next to the stove, watching me work. Occasionally biting his lip. Of course, he would put himself right in my line of sight without a shirt on. It was taking everything I had in me to not stare at his bare arms or chest. Add the lip biting to that and I just wanted to melt into a puddle. I felt like he knew it too.

After we ate, he started on the dishes while I put away the leftovers and all the ingredients that I had pulled out. He kept moving around me to grab things that needed washing. As he did so, I noticed that he was purposefully brushing against me in some way. Once I realized what he was doing, I turned my head and gave him an admonishing look. He responded with a big grin.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Seriously? You know why.” I had to bite my bottom lip to keep from smiling, which caught his attention. I watched his eyes drop to my lips briefly. I inhaled sharply and turned away from him. Fuck. I knew last night was going to make things weird. I needed to reign it in. I didn’t want to ruin the friendship we had built thus far. 

Once I finished, I went to change back into my clothes. He got dressed soon after so he could take me home. I felt like we probably needed some space today, so when he asked me what my plans were for the day, I lied. I told him I needed to do something to prepare for a meeting on Monday. He shook his head, then inhaled deeply. He had an odd look on his face, but I let it go. He pulled into the driveway and eyed me with a serious look as I gathered my things. He leaned over and gave me a small kiss on the cheek, like he always did when telling me bye. Both of us lingered a second longer than we should have. I pulled away and smiled tightly at him. 

“Call me later, yeah?” 

He nodded and gave a half smile in return, but he wouldn’t look at me. I let myself out of the car and headed inside. I dropped my things on the floor and immediately sunk down onto the large, overstuffed sectional. I wasn’t really sure what just happened, but the sparks were definitely still there between us. Emotionally, I was currently in a much better place than I had been, mostly because of him, but I still wasn’t sure if I was ready for that. I wasn't sure that he was either. I decided to push everything out of mind and pretend it didn’t happen. Maybe I was reading into things too much.

Next Chapter

Tag List: @rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94

#dieter x ofc #dieter bravo fic #dieter bravo x oc #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #Pedro Pascal Fanfic #PedroPascal #Destiny & Deliverance Series #pedrostories #Pedro Pascal Character #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfic #Pedro Pascal x ofc #Pedro Pascal Fic #dieter bravo #pedro boys #dieter bravo fluff #dieter bravo fanfiction

[sparrowsupportgroup]

What do you like about ais? I need to talk about this man and I’m never shutting up

Oh I could talk about Ais for DAYS!

When I first got into Touchstarved, I didn’t expect to like Ais as much as I do now. My first impression of him was that he was gonna be the stereotypical stoic, cold-hearted character that takes themselves too seriously - I mean, that’s what I got when I saw his “expecting mercy was your first mistake” quote.

But then when I got to him in the demo and saw his CG for the first time, I instantly LIT UP. He immediately triggered a lot of happy hormones in my brain and I was like “oh this is my MAN!” He truly had me at that first little sparrow line.

Like I was literally smiling ear to ear interacting with him because he’s genuinely funny and he’s incredibly charming. His banter with us is what really sold me on him.

I like that he has a sense of humor and he likes to tease people and despite being so intimidating, he has a bleeding heart attached to his sleeve that’s spilling out softness that either no one notices or cares for and it’s SAD.

On a psychological level, I think why I’m so attached to Ais to the point he’s even a comfort character to me is the themes that he represents; the themes of loneliness, isolation, and emotional dysregulation that’s associated with Ais are what speak to me the most, especially the emotional dysregulation. Struggling with anger outbursts is difficult enough; having rage issues while constantly being demonized(no pun intended it) for it and misunderstood because of it is a nightmare and it’s part of the reason why I feel so drawn to him.

The fact he’s self-conscious of his image to us with the whole three bad impressions thing is really endearing because he doesn’t want to scare us off! He tentatively hoping you’ll still talk to him because he wants a friend! He wants someone that isn’t afraid of him! And that’s so real because he’s probably been alienated his whole life up to that point and I relate so hard to that. And I relate to the implied abandonment issues he’s dealing with since the disappearance of his gang because his feelings are still clearly hurt about it, like mine are over the endings of some friendships I experienced recently.

Also gender envy on my part because he’s really cool and formidable and well-respected and dominant and exemplifies why I like monsters in the first place; he’s hypermasculine in a way that’s riveting to me because I started swooning like a schoolgirl when he beat the shit out of that roughneck after he shoved us; that’s the toxic masculinity I can honestly get behind.

(I also love the fact he has pointy ears and horns and likes being bitten, it’s all very cute to me)

I hope this long ass post makes sense😭and thank you for the ask! Please send me more asks, I love talking to y’all🫶🏾

#sparrow asks #sorry if this is a bit of a ramble #ais makes me feel a lot of emotions😭

[babsvibes]

so be me thinking about rewatching the BB movie then thinking "huh. how would Logan react to learning that Louise was almost buried alive after realizing he has feelings for her?" then i think "i wonder if Babs has written that." if you have, kindly point me in that direction because the angst whore in me needs this. and if not, well, this is me double dog daring you to write that fic.

Oooo I’m more of a romcom writer myself. The one angst piece I did was about infidelity, which I dooon’t think you’d be into 😭😭 but let’s dig into this!

The Belchers getting buried alive has to make the news. Calvin’s not going to cover for Grover like he did for Felix, and a foiled plan to burn down the Wharf and attempted murder is big news for their small town. If Logan ran into Louise in the weeks after The Incident, he’d probably already know about it and make a smart ass comment that would end in him getting his ass beat by whatever gang she can find to do her bidding.

Later on, when they’re closer and feelings are being felt, I think Logan caring would mean asking a specific question like “do you ever get claustrophobic?” He’s an emotionally intelligent kid (nobody question me on this, I will be SO annoying), so as an adult he’d have the sense not to pressure her when it comes to feelings. Challenging her on the best breakfast food? All day, every day, full on wrestling match to the death. Trying to get her to open up about something emotional she hasn’t volunteered? No ma’am. They might talk about it, but they’re not going to let it control their day.

At the same time, Louise has a good support system, so I don’t think experiencing trauma means you have to be traumatized to the point of angst. “Yeah I was buried alive, but I lived bitch.” And that’s me being a romcom writer at my core 😭☺️

#babsbles #asks #thank you for the ask! this was a fun ‘what if’ to think about #unfortunately my writing process involves a blood sacrifice and two year waiting period so I can’t do requests for fics #but I LOVE brainstorming so thank you so much!

[arlertsbaby]

codependency, condescension, mentions of violence, mentions of gangs i think? idk. kidnapping, ran puts his hands on reader, no happy ending u all end up with a cliffhanger kek

this makes zero sense!!!! pls

The footprints your boots leave in the snow are crisp and orderly as you pick at your nails while nearing the steps of your boyfriend's apartment building. The code you know punches itself into the number board and when the speaker buzzes and the door clicks open, you step inside. 

His door was exactly 2 floors above where you're standing; it only took you two seconds to bolt up each floor to reach his and knock on his door twice, and then once again.

You hear a quiet rustling come from inside the apartment for a moment before the door clicks and opens slightly; blue eyes look through the crack of the door secured by only a thin chain, and he unchains the door and opens it fully. 

“I know ‘m not supposed to be here,” your gaze pointed down, your hands fidget, and you’re shifting your weight between your legs while standing on his foot mat, “I just wanted to say things havent been the same without you, I can't manage without you.” 

A moment of silence passes by as Inui looks you in your eyes. You cant scan his emotions, or tell what he’s feeling at the moment, but he does let out a short breath before stepping to the side to allow you to come in. 

You sit with your legs tucked under yourself at his couch, and you can hear the faint hum of his fish tank from across the living room. He’s around the corner of the room inside his kitchen, making hot water for the two of you while you sit in silence.

A few moments pass by when he comes into the warm lit space, two cups in hand, and hands one to you. 

“I don’t have mint at the moment,” Inui sits down next to you with both hands on his mug. He looks at you with a sad smile on his face. “I’m sorry for how things are currently going.” His face is indifferent, his eyes looking over to your low ones.

He earns nothing short of a quiet grunt from you, meant to be a soft laugh to soften the tense situation you two were in; his fingers shift around his cup.

You’ve noticed from the moment he opened his door that his eyes looked darker, sadder, and sunken in, like the way yours were just a few moments before. You stopped crying only a short time ago, a tired, numb look on your face made everything you’ve experienced evident. 

The white stuffed bunny that you’ve caught in your vision (Inui made it when he was seven, he says it's his last memory left of his late uncle, and that makes sense to you because of the messy stitches and missing plastic eye) on the couch is sitting about 2 and a half seats from you, and you’d have half a mind to reach for it if you weren’t currently fixing your lips to say a sentence. 

“Just shaken up, that's all.” You breathe out, nod, and bring the cup closer to your face, sniffing the strong cinnamon smell wafting from the steam. You take a sip.

“Ah,” Inui sighs wearily. He isn't looking at you now, his eyes directed to the wall in front of you two, where a TV would stand if a long hallway wasn’t made in the middle.

“Has Koko mentioned anything about management lately?” You ask after you put your cup back down on the glass coffee table. 

His face looks nothing short of a bad week, month even; yet he continues to speak.

“He hasn’t mentioned anything about the company's joint account since Ran pulled that stunt last meeting,” you shiver at the name, “real funny act to a guy who gets off on making a living hell out of people's lives.” Inui spits out the last word like it's a curse, and a sharp frown is shown on his face. 

Haitani Ran was nothing short of an evil person. He didn’t care for anyone, except his associate members and his brother. He thought your bond with Inui was a waste of time, and approached him frequently to convince Inui to drop you.

Its 6pm when the sun sets, and the light blocking curtains Inui has installed gives his bedroom a quiet look. No artificial light is present, instead three vanilla candles are scattered  around on tables; one near his closet, one on the dresser, and one on the nightstand beside the bed you were sitting on the edge of. 

Inuis bedsheets are soft and blue, and that’s easy on the eyes, you think. Inui is a benevonlent person, so it shouldnt be a surprise that his house matches his interior. 

A few moments have passed since you’ve sat on the bed, and by the time inui comes in you’re halfway under the covers running your index finger over his silk pillow cases. He chuckles under his breath. 

He’s wearing a pair of blue athletic shorts, with what appears to be a white t-shirt wrapped around his right hand. His back is facing you as he’s fiddling with some things on his dresser, (that you assume is cologne and deodorant). He turns around once he’s finished. 

He’s sliding the shirt on while making paces toward the bed on the other side of the room, and the candles illuminate his face and abdomen. 

“I streamed all new law and order episodes every time they came on this week, thought you’d wanna watch them next time you came over.” He speaks in a matter-of-fact tone while grabbing the remote and climbing beside you onto the king-sized mattress. When the ‘on’ button is pressed, the remote makes a short click and the episode starts. You're not even 30 minutes into the first episode before you fall asleep on one of the blue pillows beside you. Inui tucks your shoulders under the covers. 

“Ran, you can’t do this,” Inui sounds torn when you register his tone in your mind. He sounds far away, you can make out.

“Sure I can,” A familiar voice, supposedly Ran, answers back in a playful, but dangerous tone. 

Your eyes slowly open and you see Ran standing in front of you. He can’t see you’re awake yet but when he begins to walk away, you adjust under the covers, and he catches that. 

“Awh,” Ran stops in his tracks and turns his head toward you. Your eyes are fixed on his purple ones when he turns around. 

“Look who's awake, Inui.” Inui’s gaze drops to the floor. You’ve lifted your head high enough by now to see his face, and he’s standing in the farthest corner of the room.

Fingers snap close to your face, making your nose scrunch involuntarily. Ran smiles when he sees you flinch.

“Hi,” He’s unforgiving when he places a heavy hand on the right side of your neck, yanking you out of your place under the covers to stand up on the cold hardwood floor.

“Ran, that hurts,” You hiccup.

“I’m not sure why you thought you’d be safe after denying Manjiros orders,” His grip tightens on the side of your neck.

Inui grimaces. Ran’s face moves closer to yours, and you try to pull away. He lets go of you, and you hunch over onto the floor.

“Anyway, I’ll be taking the girl to Mikey. Don’t try to make moves. Kokonoi already knows and he won’t be on your side anytime soon.” Ran speaks casually when he starts rummaging through the nightstand, fishing out Inui’s gun from the mess of clothes inside the drawer. 

“We’ll be heading out, Inui.” Ran leans over, grabs your hand, and drags you to the door. You turn your head to face Inui, only shame and guilt plastered on his face. Ran notices this moment between you two (the face he makes at this realization is almost sickening) and laughs.

“You’d be the luckiest man in the world if you ever see your girl again,” Ran quips, and then turns to you, “and you, take that frown off your face,” He pinches at your cheek,

“It’s fucking unbecoming of you.” 

#WHAT THE HELL #this makes no sense #just needed to post #ran x reader #inui x reader #dont flame me #agh #inui seishu #ran haitani #can you tell i havent finished tr #yes u can #HAH

[bylertruther-moved]

i’m rewatching the cali gang scenes from season four and something that sticks out to me is how everyone is so out of sync with each other. allow me to explain what i mean:

mike and eleven

we can tell that they’ve both been lying to each other for an entire year through their letters. eleven lies about being happy in lenora and mike lies by omission with his “from mike”s.

in his fight with eleven, mike is initially being open and honest. he’s trying to connect with her over being bullied and prods her to open up, but chokes when she finally does. mike thinks that he understands her, but he doesn’t and eleven—having already realized this—has already moved on. we see that the reason she’s been lying to him this entire time has been because she doesn’t feel like he loves her the way that she loves him. she has a book of letters from him, all of them responding to her with “from mike”. we see that he hasn’t said it with his words, ever.

in turn, this makes eleven feel like she isn’t enough for him and that she has to create this fantasy version of herself in order for him to potentially love her. he asks her to meet him where he is and so she does, only for him to retreat. she tells him what’s going on, she reveals everything, exactly as he asked, and he immediately exits the conversation: “you can’t actually believe that”, “who said that i didn’t?”, "you're being ridiculous", "what is this?", "you can't let these mouth breathers ruin you. ruin us.", "they're nobodies". none of his responses address her concerns. none of them assume responsibility; they’re all deflecting. none of them are responding to the fact that his inaction has led her to feel like things have changed between them.

they’re out of sync. mike doesn’t understand eleven: not how she feels, not what she’s going through, and not what she wants from him. this could be his obliviousness, his desire to turn back the clock, or both. eleven is out of sync with him, because she’s grown in their time apart and she wants their relationship to grow with it. she needs him to see, love, and understand who she really is; to see her as more than a girl with superpowers.

mike and will

immediately, we see that they’re not on the same page from their very first interaction: will was going for a hug and mike was going for who-knows-what. he asks about the painting, perhaps in effort to save face or salvage something between them, but it’s too late: will has already sensed that things are not how he’d hoped they’d be, and so he retreats. they conclude that interaction in the most painfully awkward way possible, with mike seemingly ignoring him and will feeling dejected. it’s only afterward that we learn the reasons behind their actions here.

despite his hurt, we see that will still cares about mike. we can tell that he’s clearly very bothered by eleven lying to him, seeing as he confronts her about it once mike gets up, telling her: “i don't think mike's gonna like that you're lying to him and he doesn't deserve that. when he finds out, he's gonna be mad.” later on, when those lies blow up in her face, will tells mike what’s really going on... who, in turn, gets angry with him. 

thus far, the audience is mostly experiencing this day through will’s perspective. we assume that mike doesn’t care about will, that they’re clearly not friends anymore, and that all of his attention is focused solely on eleven. only... this isn’t the case.

mike is upset that will never told him the truth, that he was apparently being "a douche all day". we hear him say that will was rolling his eyes, moping, barely talking, and that it's sabotaged the whole day. that means that he has been paying attention; that he has been tuned in to will’s emotions, enough that it’s managed to ruin his day, despite him appearing happy with eleven. a disconnect: will didn’t notice that mike still cares and mike feels like he’s the only one that still does.

this is supported by their fight, as will thinks that mike didn’t reach out enough and mike tells will that he could’ve reached out, too. this is a fact that stumps will into silence and so they move on. it’s only later that we’re told two things: calls in hawkins are being monitored and so they wouldn’t have been able to call to speak to eleven, and mike did try calling multiple times, but the line was always busy because of joyce’s telemarketing job. this explains mike’s behavior early on, because he feels (and later admits) that it’s as though he lost will. will assumed that the lack of calls meant that mike didn’t want to talk to him anymore, and mike assumed that will’s lack of trying was indicative of him not wanting to talk anymore, too.

they’re out of sync, and yet somehow... exactly on the same page? they both feel as though they’ve been left behind and are both acting directly from those feelings. the issue is that they haven’t been open with each other and thus are entirely in the dark about how the other feels, not realizing that they’re mirror images of one another.

as the season progresses, we see how will and mike eventually (mostly) resolve their issues through direct, open, and honest communication. mike understands will without will having to ever say anything. in some ways, these two scenarios are equal opposites.

mike prods el, then retreats. will prods mike, then retreats.

“you never say it.” - “i say it.” vs “i didn’t say it.” - “you didn’t have to.”

eleven expresses how she feels and mike refuses to address his part in that. will expresses how he feels and mike does address it directly, unprompted.

that mutual understanding is what allows mike and will to open up to each other without flinching, even after all this time.

mike immediately apologizes to eleven, but he doesn’t understand what he’s done wrong or why she feels the way that she does, and so it feels empty. he can’t be sorry if he doesn’t know why he’s sorry and eleven knows this.

later on, mike doesn’t apologize to will directly, but he does provide an explanation for his actions and expresses that he wants to be closer, by suggesting that they work together as a team and as best friends. he doesn’t say the words “i’m sorry”, but his actions suggest that he is. he wants to do better by him and understands that he must.

it’s important to note as well that mike gives only one of them what they want.

el wants him to say i love you and he doesn’t.

will says that they used to be best friends and later he calls will his best friend again without ever being asked to.

will doesn’t need to beg mike for something for him to know what he needs or what he feels. eleven begs him with tears in her eyes to please tell her that he really does love her... and he doesn’t. he can’t. he doesn’t even understand why she asks that of him and how he could make her feel that way.

the point that this season really drives home is that mike only truly knows one of them. he may love them both, but he doesn’t know the person that eleven is now. he doesn’t understand her. he doesn’t see her as anything other than the young girl that depended on him for survival, the girl who saved the world time and time again, a fantastical being plucked straight from one of their campaigns. he cares about her most definitely, and yes, he does love her, but not in the same way that she loves him—and that’s the glaring issue.

to me, that’s evident even before the entire fiasco with his monologue to her. 

mike is selfish with eleven. he doesn’t tell her that he loves her, because he’s afraid that’ll make the day that she realizes she no longer needs him hurt more for him. he doesn’t care (or realize, if you’d like to put it kindly) that withholding that from her hurts her and makes her insecure. he does this to keep her around, but it only ever pushes her away.

he’s insecure about the fact that he may need her more than she needs him. he’s insecure about the fact that she could grow up and want other things. his feelings, his fears, his reasoning—they’re all about him. he doesn’t ever take her into account. in season three, he gets on will’s case and tells him that he’s stuck in the past, that they’ve all grown up except for him, but this isn’t true. mike is the one living in the past. eleven is the one begging him to join her in the present and he won’t. 

he’s terrified that one day el may see him as he really is—a scary thought that alludes to him feeling empowered in this relationship only when she’s dependent on him, indicating that he still sees her as that feral girl she was when they first met and how he refuses to see who she is now.

unfortunately for him, that’s precisely what eleven has realized by the end of this season: that she doesn’t need mike. she is her own person; not brenner’s, not hopper’s, and not mike’s. she is more than her past, and she needs to let it go in order to receive what will be. max is the one person that saw eleven for who she was and encouraged her to find herself and her own happiness. eleven feels that now more than ever.

as a result, it’s max’s love that gives eleven the strength to fight. not mike’s. the vines tighten around eleven during his monologue, because it isn’t what she needs and it isn’t what she wants. she knows that he’s not talking about her. she knows that, we know that, but once again mike does not. instead, mike believes they’re on the same page, but eleven knows that they aren’t. they’re just as out of sync as they were when they started this season, if not more so, dangerously so.

the same is not true for will and mike, though they’re out of sync, too.

we see mike opening up to will, confiding in him, and seeking his advice at multiple points. he believes that they’ve started again on this journey to being as close as they were, only... we know that will is hiding something: he’s in love with mike, but he’s too afraid to say it and loves both him and eleven too much to hurt either of them. thus, it’s now his turn to lie as he fears mike may not stick around if he knows the real him.

at mike’s lowest point, will spills his heart out in an effort to help him, but he does so by proclaiming that these feelings are actually eleven’s. he’s lying by omission, unable to wholly meet mike where he is. meanwhile, mike feels closest to will then: not only has will just helped him to finally understand eleven (or so he thinks), but he’s also revealed and gifted him the painting he previously asked about. mike loves it, is moved by it, and feels will’s love, even if he doesn’t entirely understand what just happened.

he’s vulnerable and open with will in a way that he isn’t with eleven and in a way that will cannot be with him. they’ve both poured their hearts out, but they’re not on the same page. the fact that will has disguised his feelings as el’s means that the mutual understanding and empowerment that mike feels is wrongly attributed to being between him and eleven. thus, they’re out of sync. the romantic love that he’s feeling isn’t hers, it’s will’s and it comes at the end of his very first lie—the thing that mike hates most, coming from the person he’d least expect it from. it’s a double whammy.

will leaves that conversation feeling hopeless and rejected, while mike is blissfully unaware that it could have ever even been an option. will has consequently sabotaged not only his chances at romance, but mike’s, too.

these stories all intersect at mike’s monologue. eleven has just gone through an experience that has changed her entire perspective, both on this world and her place in it. mike feels as though he finally has his best friend back and he knows how to mend his relationship with eleven, but neither are entirely true. will may think that he’s out of the woods, having finally confessed, ripped the band-aid off, and regained his best friend, but his lies will come back to bite him once they’re revealed. no one is safe.

eleven has learned that she does not need mike and that he does not love her how she needs to be loved. she isn’t a monster and she isn’t a superhero. she’s a girl that is tired of being told what she is and what she isn’t. she’s a girl that loves her friends and will always fight for them and what’s right, because that’s who she is.

mike is under the impression that will’s love for him is coming from eleven, despite her accounts in their last conversation directly contradicting that entire confession, which shows his fundamental misunderstanding of her person and that the person he needs isn’t the person that he thinks he needs. additionally, this realization is sure to come on the heels of the fact that while he has been making attempts to regain closeness with will, will has been keeping things to himself and unintentionally misguiding him even if his intentions were pure.

will is in a precarious position. he has always been honest with mike, always. we know how strongly he feels about this, and yet he tells his first lie this season: his veiled confession. of course, he does this to help lift mike’s spirits, to show him that he’s so much more than what he thinks he is, but his confession is in part what causes mike’s monologue for el to fall flat, because it doesn’t address how eleven feels at all, it addresses how will feels**. additionally, there is the issue that he’s expressed that he wants to be close to mike again and when mike finally agrees, it turns out that he has one foot in and one foot out. he loves mike and he wants to be honest with him, but he doesn’t know how to do that safely in a way that mike would understand. he starts the season scolding eleven for lying to be liked and ends the season doing just that.

** this is further supported by the way that these two monologues (music included) are direct responses to each other when you overlay them. mike and will feel similarly, they always do, but they’re out of sync. they become so whenever they start keeping things from each other, whereas the opposite is true for mike and eleven: they’re only ever “on the same page” when they’re lying to each other, but even then that depends on them never actually seeing each other for who they are and thus it’s only an illusion. with will, it’s real and innate. with eleven, it’s forced out of desperation and conformity. 

they all make progress in season four and everyone is trying their best, but it falls in line with the season’s parting message: it’s not enough. yet. these complex individual stories are clearly not even close to being over and the way they’re all at odds puts them all in a very unique position heading in to season five.

#byler #byler analysis #long post #i feel like i wouldn't have been so upset had they released the entire season at once lol because looking back... yeaaaaaaah it doesn't look #good for milkvan and specifically mike. #this feels more like an analysis for them but i feel it's so important to dissect that because it so ... obviously draws attention to byler? #because there are FUNDAMENTAL difference between how he interacts with both of them. at every turn he is unable to do what eleven needs. #the same is not true for byler. he doesn't need any help to fix what he has with will. will understands mike. mike understands will. #they don't need words. immediately mike knows in his heart what it is that he needs to do and he does it. he connects with will. #he LISTENS to will. he RESPONDS to will. he is made BRAVE by will. he feels safe enough to open up with WILL. #season four SHOWS us these things clear as day. #eleven was made brave by MAX. she fights for MAX. he performs a miracle for MAX. not mike. #*she performs etc #miwileven analysis #my thoughts #my posts

[dutchvanwinkle]

It Will Pass - Dutch x Reader

Happy New Year, friends! Decided to post this today bc I know the holidays can be tough for a lot of people, and in case you needed a cuddle from Dutch here it is <3

I wrote this with a chronically ill reader in mind, but it can read as mental health issues or just general unwellness.  ��

Link in case you prefer your snugs on ao3.

Summary: You're having an inevitable off day, and it brings out Dutch's soft side.

Word count: 1,511

Content warnings: Pure fluff!

The thing with being unwell, in the manner that you were, was that you were able to function most of the time. You could get on with your day like everyone else, the ailments troubling your body being there, but not quite forceful enough to knock you off your feet. Of course, you were grateful that things weren’t bad enough to stop you from experiencing all life had to offer, but that didn't negate how exhausting it could be. On some days, it became too much to handle, and you could no longer muster the strength to keep your head up. 

Today was such a day, ignoring the brightness of the landscape around you and instead pulling the blanket up to your chin and telling yourself five more minutes repeatedly until it was midday, when you still hadn’t shifted.  

Dutch was off working, which most of the time you were thankful for since you didn’t want to fuss in front of him, especially when there was nothing he could do about it; him often having an insatiable desire to fix every problem presented to him. Unfortunately, yours were problems that couldn’t be fixed so easily. But today, your physical and mental exhaustion had extended to emotional, and an overwhelming sadness, tinted with hopelessness, washed over you that you just couldn’t shake. You knew you’d probably feel better if you got out of bed, enjoyed the fresh air, went for a walk, had something to eat... but you just couldn’t. You wanted to lie in bed and pretend the world around you was still for a while.  

You curled up, cursing the parts of your body that protested and screwed your eyes shut in an attempt to quieten their pleas along with the thoughts in your mind.  

“Sweetheart?”  

Glancing over your shoulder, you watched Dutch enter the tent with a mug clutched in his hand and slow steam rising from it.  

“Sorry, I’ll get up soon,” you murmured, guilt rising at the non-existent contributions you’d made to the gang that day. Usually, you’d be raring to do all the chores that needed doing, or join the others out on a job, or go into town to find leads of your own. What you hated the most was that you were more than capable of getting up and do those things, but your motivation had wavered to nothing.

Dutch only shook his head, his brow creasing as he took tentative steps towards you until he was sat on the edge of the bed. “Is everything alright?”  

“I’m fine,” you shifted onto your back to avoid straining your neck to look at him, “I thought you were out for the day?”  

“We got finished early,” he stated, leaning over to place the mug on the small table beside the cot, and remaining in his position to run his thumb over your temple. “Stop changing the subject. What’s hurting?”  

One of your favourite things about Dutch was his voice. The way he was able to convey so much emotion through it by its tone, volume, and of course his voice cracks. While you loved it when he was passionate and making a speech, assertive when giving out orders, growling when the two of you were intimate, the rarity of it being soft and concerned was always a breath of fresh air that few had the privilege of breathing.  

You shrugged, not wanting to admit that truthfully nothing was hurting that much, and risk him thinking you were being overly dramatic.   

“I see,” he hummed, and you weren’t too sure what he was referring to but then he stood, stripping down to his union suit and pulling back your covers to join you underneath them. He opened his arms in an embrace for you to fall into, which you did gladly and nestled into the warmth of his broad chest, thankful that he hadn’t pressed you further on the matter.  

The truth was that he didn’t need to, he understood without you saying explicitly that you just needed someone else to take the weight, if only for a short while. You never wanted it to be him, though, knowing the heaviness of the duties already pressing down on his shoulders.  

“I’m fine, really,” you mumbled into him to lament your falsehood, muffled by the fabric that separated you from his skin.  

Mhm, was all he responded with as he began stroking your hair, tenderly and not tangling it up to avoid causing you any further distress. He pulled you further in, and the smell and feeling of home getting all too overwhelming for you. You willed yourself not to cry, but it felt so safe in his arms, and you couldn’t help but let the floodgates creep open.  

“Now now, darling,” he shifted to look down at you, but you remained where you were since you didn’t want him to see you cry. You always wanted to be a support for him, something sturdy that he could rely on, not something pathetic and emotional that he had to take care of.  

“Look at me, please.” His hand gingerly cupped your jaw and gently willed you to follow his command, which you did hesitantly.   

The expression that met your tear-soaked one was still concerned but filled with a promise that told you it’d all be okay. You wondered if it was his intention, as those beautiful dark eyes bore into yours. His thumb ran under your eyes to dry your tears, and you sniffled. “I’m sorry.”  

“Stop apologising,” he chastised you gently, kissing your forehead before returning his gaze to you. “It’s okay, you know? It’s all okay. This feeling will pass, I promise.”  

“I know,” you nodded, and you did know. You’d known that morning when you woke up; the feeling will pass and by tomorrow you’ll be back to yourself. Sometimes, it just takes a small pity party before you can get to that point.  

“You are the most precious thing to me. I will always be in awe of how much you manage to carry,” he took a breath to press his thumb on your bottom lip, “all without complaining. But it’s okay, you can complain if you want to. You have every right. I know it’s tough, and you need to give some of that weight to me every now and again.”  

You could only nod, not sure if you’d ever fully believe those words but glad to hear them all the same.  

“Is this helping?” he asked, and you nodded as fervently as you could manage. “Then we’ll stay like this until you feel better.”  

“Dutch, no, it’s okay – you go and carry on with your work, I’ll be fine, don’t worry -”  

“My darling,” he chuckled with the raise of an eyebrow, “are you telling me what to do?”

You managed a small smile, your first one of the day, which softened his features somewhat.  

“Because I can assure you,” he continued, “there’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now.”  

“You’re sure?”  

“Positive,” he cradled your face in his hand, hands that had caused a lot of pain to many but right now were your greatest source of comfort. He nodded his head in the direction of the table behind him, “try some of that tea for me?”  

You shifted up onto your elbow, reaching over him and grabbing the mug to take a few sips. It was peppermint, you knew that much, one of your favourites and there was other stuff in there though you couldn’t pick out what it was. “Did you make it?”  

“Depends.”  

“On what?”  

“Do you like it?”  

You smirked, taking another few sips before setting it back down and nestling back into his embrace. “I do.”  

“Then yes, I did,” he admitted, though you weren’t sure if he was lying, or partially lying – you'd be sure to ask Hosea later whether it was his doing or whether he’d assisted him. You didn’t mind either way.  

“Well, thanks, in that case,” you snorted, slotting your leg in between his.   

“My pleasure,” he hummed, satisfied with himself. “Would you like me to read to you?”  

You shook your head, quick to correct yourself as you didn’t want him thinking you didn’t enjoy him reading to you; you did, but right now you wanted to lose yourself in him, the aggressive outlaw that also happened to be the gentlest person you’d ever met. “Could you just... talk to me? About your day, or a recent event?”  

“Course,” his voice rumbled soothingly as he pulled your frame closer, tucking your head under his chin and you were more comfortable there than you’d been all day. He paused for a moment, thinking of which story to tell before he began telling it while you listened to the faint rhythm of his heart. “So, you know how Trelawny hasn’t been around for a while? Well, you’ll never guess where Arthur and I found him this morning...”

You smiled to yourself as you found sanctuary in his words; it would all be okay.

#i need to start being okay with writing short one-shots lol #dutch van der linde x reader #dutch van der linde #rdr2 #rdr2 fanfic #fanfiction #red dead fanfic #fluff #my stuff

[the-slasher-madame]

Bo Sinclair Angst//Comfort

Well gang, this might be a bit of a doozy. I’m not the only one, and it ain’t all that big a deal, but there’s definitely stuff that people have said/done that sticks with me and I believe is a little traumatizing. One of those memories has been bouncing in my head, so I thought I’d write what I wish could’ve happened, or just a way I’d like to be comforted. I still have troubles like, I guess properly giving credit to this kind of stuff. Like I call it sugarcoating, I just tend to underexaggerate stuff to protect people’s feelings or keep them out of trouble (them being my parents) and I do not support comparing trauma but I know this stuff isn’t as up there as what other people have experienced. Either way, it hurt, and I’m still trying to think through different thoughts and feelings I have. So there’s my piece of vulnerability for the day, and this is a way I’m trying to learn to use to help work through some of this <3

TW/Notes: heavy content, Bo being aggressive and scary, reader remembering stuff from their past, angst then comfort, fluffy ending, kind of a panic response/anxiety attack sort of deal, Bo yells at reader, gender neutral reader, reader likes stuffed animals, canon typical violence, as always let me know if I missed something

Also while this is based on a memory, it wasn’t quite as intense as this story

// Shit shit shit shit. The victims that ran through Ambrose today had been a lot to handle. Almost too much, but only almost. They had started by being rude to Lester, commenting on his appearance, his job, and his truck decorations. He’d given Bo a look when dropping off the tourists that had told your lover everything he needed to know. Despite his personal feelings, he tried to pour on the charm, but the group was just as snobbish to him as they were to his brother. Bo managed to get some of them to head towards the wax museum, taking care of the one that remained at the stations before radioing towards Vincent. All hell broke loose from there, and this group of asshats put up a fight. You had been in Ambrose long enough to form an attachment to the brothers, particularly Bo, and once the carnage started he always made sure you were safe in the house while he took care of the dirty work. You’d paced while the twins took care of their latest victims, but Bo absolutely hated whenever they got a group that tried to fight back. Sure, he loved a good struggle, but this group had gotten a couple of scratches and kicks in which only pissed him off beyond belief. You loved him, but you knew exactly how short his temper was. He’d yelled at you before, lashed at you with his rage when he couldn’t hold it anymore, but he tried his best to spare you from all that. He remembered how it felt getting yelled at as a child over nothing, and he knew you were a sensitive individual. He actually loved that about you, how emotional you were and how honest you were about it. But...it wasn’t always best when it came to his volatile anger. 

You were sitting at the kitchen table, the slightly yellowed lights above you keeping you company with their constant hum as you sipped at your water. Night had fallen maybe an hour ago, maybe two: long enough that you were beginning to worry more than usual. You almost dropped your mug when the front screen door banged open and slammed shut, all the while with your lover letting out curse after curse. You set your mug down carefully on the table, starting to shake with the anxiety that sprung from Bo’s anger. You never delt with other people’s anger very well, especially when it came to those that were intimidating in their rage. Your head was lowered, staring at the mug grasped between your trembling hands. Bo stormed through the kitchen, heading straight to the fridge and it made you jump again. You hoped he hadn’t noticed, especially as your anxiety grew. Oh, he had unfortunately noticed. Bo was already in a foul mode, and he didn’t want to have to worry after you (and he felt guilty that you looked so shaken, knowing he’d done that to you). 

“The fuck you lookin like that fer? I just walked through my own goddamn kitchen,” he hissed at you from his place next to the fridge, a beer already retrieved and held to his lips. You looked up at him, quickly moving your eyes back to your hands that had retreated into your lap. He didn’t like this, feeling like you were ignoring him and his rage was reaching a breaking point. Bo’s voice started barking out to you, getting louder and more aggressive as he went on, “fuck off, it’s not like you do a goddamned thing around here.  YOU CAN’T EVEN FUCKING LOOK AT ME HUH? BRAT, I’LL FUCKIN SHOW YA-” He pushed away from the counter, his bottle left on the countertop. Whatever courage you had fled when you saw him move, and you were thrown back to a memory of your father, one you had been thinking about for the last few days. He never beat you per say, but you had been spanked a fair amount as a child and had more than a fair share of arguments and fights from your parents. It left a lot for you to work through, but you were trying. You were trying for Bo, just as you knew he tried to be more patient for you. 

All that was gone from your mind as adrenaline pulsed through you, feeling more like pure fear racing through your arteries. Coherent and reasonable thought left you, sending you into fight-or-flight mode. Your body chose flight, and you quickly scooted out of your chair to shove it in Bo’s path before darting out of the room. You were starting up the stairs while he moved the chair aside, swearing at you. You knew, you knew that he wouldn’t hurt you, but all you could feel was fear. Your mind was sticky with it, heightening your senses while dulling your thoughts. He was moving after you, fast, his mind still on the idea of a chase. He didn’t even know what he was chasing you for, you had run and he had followed on instincts left over from the previous activities of the night. You were jumping off the top step towards the hallway while Bo was halfway up, sweating and trying to gain on you. Your body somehow found a way to push forth another burst of speed, racing forward and lunging into the guestroom and shoving it closed. You locked the door and ran to hide under the desk in the room, a place you had taken to using as a studio for your own crafts. You never really knew why, but you tended to like hiding under desks and the likes when you were distressed (though it was most definitely an unconscious decision at the moment). 

You had your hands over your ears (another default position of yours) and were shaking worse now than you had before. Bo slammed in the door, hard, cursing more as he tried to shake the handle open. Each word, each shake of the door made you sink in on yourself, and your heart was beating like you were in a horror movie. The banging stopped as Bo’s footsteps stomped off, and you took a few deep breathes that almost started to take the fog out of your mind; however, Bo was starting to bang back towards the room, and you swear your heart stopped when you heard the lock click. Fuck how could you forget he had a key to every room in his room? You shrieked when the door opened, and tried to shove yourself harder under the desk. Bo stopped for a moment, still seething, but that’s when he started to notice exactly how bad you were freaking out. He turned towards you and your desk, and you let out that horrible shriek again. It was pure pain, animalistic fear. Bo hadn’t heard that sound from you since you first came to Ambrose, and it stopped his rage in its tracks. He ducked to get a glimpse at you under the desk, and you started sobbing loudly. You’d had tears falling down your face since you had made it under the desk, and the whimpering had started as soon as the first scream had died on your lips. You saw him peering under the desk and you were sobbing, really sobbing. You tried to quiet down, whimpering out apologies to him about the noise and whatever had happened, but what really hurt him was hearing you say, “please don’t hurt me, I’m so sorry.” 

You were still trying to back yourself further into the wall, and Bo started to worry you’d end up making a hole in the drywall from how hard you were moving into it. With his anger evaporated and replaced with guilt, Bo backed away slowly and left the room to gather some supplies to try and calm you down. He hurried back down the stairs to grab a water bottle, then went back up to stop by your shared bedroom. He knew how much you loved your stuffies, how comforting they were to you, and grabbed two of you favorites: one that you had said was the perfect cuddle shape before, and one that held sentimental value to you. You were almost hyperventilating when he returned to the room, and your sobs picked up again as he moved past the desk. He sat about a [meter/yard] away from you on the floor, settling in to try and calm you down before you passed out. Bo had seen you have an anxiety attack before and thus had an idea of what to do, and he couldn’t even begin to think about exactly how guilty he felt that he had caused one. Bo loved you and trusted you, he’d accepted you as a Sinclair and sworn to protect you like one. His heart ached hearing your small wails and soft screams.

He sat there a few minutes, letting you adjust to his presence in the room. When your cries had slowed somewhat, he slowly slide your cuddly stuffie towards you, figuring you would need something to hold on to and ground yourself with. He was right, and you gripped the thing like a lifeline. He stayed where he was, watching your breathing slow ever so slightly. He started inching his way closer when he determined that your breathing was steadier and that you were now just crying instead of those gut-wrenching wails of fear. Your eyes locked on him, but you were regaining some sense of control over your own mind again and thus let him approach. However, you did not move to greet him, you were still wary of what might come next, your anxious side telling you to still be alert. Bo finally reached the desk, still sitting with you on the ground. He stayed still for a few minutes, once again letting you get used to his company. He felt relieved when your muscles relaxed, and slowly slid under the desk with you. 

“Hey doll,” his voice let out softly, “could we maybe move out from under here? Can’t be comfortable sittin all cramped up like that.” You thought a second before nodding, and he started to move back out. You followed him, reappearing from your safe spot under the desk. The two of y’all were still sitting close together has Bo whispered to you once again: “Come ‘er darlin, it’s ok. Just let me hold you alrigh?” You nodded again and almost launched yourself into him, curling up in his lap. You had your one stuffie under your arm, and he placed the last one between the both of y’all’s chests before encircling you with his arms. Time passed like that, him crooning to you all the while. 

Eventually you were back in control of yourself completely, and you too started to feel a bit guilty. You hated when you reacted badly to anything, when you got pulled in to a dark pit and felt like you were overreacting when you came out of it. You looked up to his eyes and started with, “I’m sorry Bo, I shouldn’t’ve-” “Hush darlin, it’s alrigh, I shouldn’t a run after ya like that. Shouldn’t a yelled at ya either,” he interjected, knowing exactly where you were heading with this. “But I-” “Nope, you jus reacted, an tha’s ok. I promise I’ll do better, yea? Ain’t gonna scare ya like that again, I promise,” he said, trying to reassure you that this was not something you needed to feel bad for, and that he would fix it. He would not let this happen again, he cared too much for you. Truth be told, he worried about you most of the time. He knew some of the things you had struggled with in the past, and he was terrified by the thought of losing you to them.

You leaned back into his chest, too tired to keep going with this train of conversation. Bo placed his arms around you so that he could carry you to bed. He sat you down, made you take a drink, and tucked you in carefully. He tugged off his boots and hat, climbing in to bed to hold you close to his chest (he was fond of being the big spoon, he felt like he had a living stuffed animal to hold and take care of). You fell asleep fast, drained from the wave of adrenaline and the emotional turmoil that had come with it. He placed kisses along your neck and behind your ear sporadically, almost as if he was trying to remind himself you were here. Vincent peeked his head in the door after you had fallen asleep, looking directly at his twin. Bo raised his hand to fingerspell ‘later,’ dropping it back to hold you around your waist. You turned over to nuzzle into his chest, stuffies still held tight in your arms. Vincent gave one last look before moving on to whatever he needed to do, and Bo eventually fell asleep looking at your face, swearing to show you how much he treasured you. 

- Alrighty finite. This was more intense than the memory I have I think, I only remember getting in an argument with my dad and he chased after me to spank me. Not great, but could be a helluva lot worse. I want Bo Sinclair so bad, I just want him to sit and comfort me and hand me stuffies. Anyways, I hope y’all enjoy my late night angst/comfort lol

#slashers #slasher fucker #slasher lover #slasher x reader #bo sinclair #bo sinclair x reader #bo sinclair angst #bo sinclair angst/comfort #lil bit a therapy oops #i have been to therapy but we mostly worked on my anxiety and depression and self esteem issues #slasher angst #slasher hurt comfort #I love the sinclairs #my lil bo angst/comfort fic