#honestly didnt expect this show to touch my soul as much as it did but oh boy it DID

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

oh man ok i need to gush about moonlight chicken for a second lol

i adored how this show didnt shy away from the messiness of real life and relationships! like u hav a single gay working class man desperately trying to make ends meet and struggling with the guilt of his past lover having died tragically whilst bringing up his nephew who wants to be taken seriously and finally fly the nest to live his own life whilst at the same time navigating his crush on a lonely deaf boy who just wants to be understood and respected. and then you have a man stuck in relationship limbo where he's unable to let go of his past love but also yearning to move on and free them both from the pain they cause each other... and that's not even to mention the side characters who deal with the loss of parents, unfaithful partners, unplanned pregnancies, trying to be a better mother to your son, etc...

no one was a villain, instead you had a group of people who needed to grow and learn in a very natural way, and that's just so refreshing to see! honestly one of my fav parts of the story is that rather than inventing some arbitrary dramatic reason for wen and alan to break up, it just happened because their love had fizzled out, a thing that happens all the time in real relationships! and even though their love had died, it was still obvious that they cared deeply for one another which made both of them trying to move on so much more painful...

so much of this show was about the cycles of emotional abuse that can develop when you're stuck in the past... jim is unable to see a happy future for himself because he blames himself for beam's death, and he let's that anger and resentment inform how he treats li ming. wen is ignoring the messiness of his relationship with alan in favour of pursuing jim, but knows deep down that neither will be able to truly move on unless he deals with the situation. even heart's parents are stuck unable to relate to or be willing to understand their deaf son as they continue to isolate him from the outside world, thinking that it will protect him but all it does is make him even more lonely!

idk i just loved how the show focused so much on living in the moment. that the past is fixed and the future is uncertain, but there will always be now where you can always find some glimmer of joy and optimism.

and then there's ofc the queer element of the show where we get to see how internalised and external homophobia exist as perimeters to queer people being able to truly be themselves. one of the most heart wrenching scenes is at beam's funeral where his parents come up to jim and effectively tell him that because he and beam weren't married, he has no legal rights to any of the things they had worked so hard for together! and this is something you hear time and time again, both historically and now, where queer couples in countries that dont recognise gay marriage or even civil partnerships are denied so much (particularly when one of them dies) because their relationship is deemed illegitimate by law.

jim as a character has internalised this so much that when he finds out his nephew is gay, he lashes out (in one of the funniest scenes ever, mind you lol... literally the whole 'why are you gay, isn't being poor enough of a challenge!?' thing is gonna stick in my mind forever i love it sm lol) because he knows first hand how hard it is to be a queer man in a society that still doesnt fully accept you! (and it rly showed the disparity between him, a working class man, and wen, someone from a middle class/wealthy background when it comes to queerness that i don't think gets discussed as much... cos the fact of the matter is that for a long time queerness /was/ effectively reserved for wealthy people, as working class people wouldnt have had as much of a choice in how they could live their lives, so jim's reticence when it comes to accepting li ming's (and his own) queerness is directly tied to how being poor doesnt always allow you the luxury of simply 'being yourself'...)

and i think it was especially interesting that this show didnt present homophobia in individualistic terms. we don't get a character calling them slurs or saying that they're wrong for being gay, instead we get systemic and societal prejudices showing up in insidious ways, which feels so much more realistic! (like even jam, who is presented as having outdated and homophobic opinions, isnt presented as some evil villain. she's just a product of a homophobic society that teaches people being gay is a sad way of living, and she has to unlearn that as both her brother and son prove her wrong!)

i honestly could (and probably will) go on but yeh... this show man... this show

#moonlight chicken #moonlight chicken the series #thai series #honestly didnt expect this show to touch my soul as much as it did but oh boy it DID #also i didnt even get to talk about gaipa and just how fucking sad his story is (and how amazingly acted his character was!!!) #and his relationship to his mum esp was just so beautiful #like..... this show just feels so special and im just so thankful it exists tbh #like no it's not perfect and there are def some strange/goofy moments #but it feels so genuine and you can tell everyone involved really wanted to tell a story about real every day people and it's just wonderfu #sorry for writing somuch i'm just having shrimp feelings about this show #or should that be chicken feelings lol?!?!

[slttygeto]

down like six thirty

request: [@burntbuttermm] for the tokrev hcs maybe some fluff/crack? with draken/baji/ whoever else you like! if you want a more specific idea maybe like cafe/first dates/rainy day in? Idk I just want them to be happy.

synopsis: am I enough to keep your love? when I'm old and stuff, will you still have a crush?

featuring: ryuguuji ken, baji keisuke, sanzu haruchiyo.

genre: fluff, suggestive at sanzu's.

note: "idk i just want them to be happy" 😭 i felt this. also very unedited so ill make sure to fix mistakes asap (after auri points them out lol)

—ryuguuji ken (draken)

rainy day in + him = heaven.

draken strikes me as the type of lover who looks like he's always in control to strangers

he always has a hand on your waist, is standing close to you wherever you go and it's honestly very reassuring

but once you two are alone or just away from prying eyes, he turns into the softest plushie ever

"don't you think it's ridiculous how they immediately assumed he's the traitor?" your boyfriend mumbled, his cheek pressed against yours as he laid on top of you while you two watched this new show you randomly came across.

it was a very lazy day for draken. he decided he wanted to take a day or two off from work just to focus on himself (in other words, relax with you) and with the rain pouring hard, he soon found himself cuddling you on the couch after you two made a nice batch of cookies.

"I mean, all the clues lead back to him," you replied as you stroked his back under his shirt, the action almost making him purr. he could care less about the show right now.

he turned his gaze to yours, nuzzling his head in your neck and sighed, relaxing under your touch. how could you make him feel so good all the time? it was honestly a wonder. and it was one of the reasons why he felt so lucky to have you, someone who understands him and puts him at so much ease.

lowering the volume down, the sound of the rain along with the crinkling fire from the fireplace was all too relaxing. noticing how draken's breathing was starting to slow down, a smile made its way to your face.

"wanna sleep, ken?" your voice rang through the empty space of your living room, the soft hum from your boyfriend was enough of a response to your question.

and soon enough, you were following your boyfriend into dreamland, and if anyone were to walk in on you two cuddling on the couch, holding onto each other so tightly even in your sleep, they would realize just how much you loved each other.

—baji keisuke

such a fun lover<3

ever since you two started dating you learned that kei was more of a sensitive soul than anyone would ever imagine

it's not that they thought of him as heartless, but they would never expect that the baji keisuke could cry easily

"kei?" you were more than concerned when you opened the door to your apartment, finding your boyfriend standing there in a black hoodie that made it seem like he was running away from the police.

"are you okay? honey, it's 11pm what could possibly bring you—"

"I found a kitten," he cut you off, and if you didnt know him better than anyone else you'd think that he sounded like any other day—cold and brutal. but this time, he sounded a bit emotional, almost like he was on the verge of crying.

"you did? where is it—" before you could even finish your sentence, kei was gently pulling the fluff ball out of the pocket of his hoodie. it was small, a mix of black and white on its fur.

"oh my god, it's a tuxedo cat!" you cooed at the kitten who meowed in return, trembling in baji's hold as it nuzzled his palms. but why did your boyfriend look so stressed?

"I found it on my way to your apartment, I know I was supposed to be here a few hours ago but then I found it and—"

"kei, breathe." you chuckled, holding your hands out to cup his face. "it's fine, the kitten is alright now honey," your thumbs stroked his cheeks, before staring down at the kitten who was purring in his hands. it was really in love with him.

"now why do you look so stressed about it?" you asked, tilting your head a little to get a closer look at your boyfriend. baji never avoided eye contact, but this time was also a different.

"...I may or may not have developed a soft spot for it,"

"and?"

"and I really wanna adopt it,"

"...okay?"

"but my landlord doesn't allow pets." keisuke felt stupid that this was making him want to cry, he couldn't even wipe his tears because the fur ball was in his hands and he didn't want to wet it.

you, on the other hand, were melting. your boyfriend was such a soft hearted person but being reminded of it this way was so precious.

flashing him a small smile, you leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead before leaning down to do the same with the kitten.

"it can stay at my place, kei." it felt like christmas day for baji. he was so careful not to hurt the kitten as he leaned in, peppering your face with kisses all over while holding himself back from jumping from joy.

"we're keeping you! we're gonna name you oreo! or maybe tux? tuxedo! coffee? milk—"

you really loved your boyfriend, there was no doubt.

—haruchiyo sanzu

he was a dangerous man

but that didn't mean he couldn't have fun

when he decides to do something, he's unstoppable and you're always his first victim

which is why him randomly popping at your place at 3am became a normal thing in your relationship

"let's destroy the kids toys aisle."

"sanzu, no."

you had been trying to calm your boyfriend down for the past twenty minutes. you didn't know if it was the coffee he drank or if it was just one of those days where he felt extremely energetic, he was stressing you out.

"this is boring though! I wanted to have fun," the little pout on his face made you smile a little, your hand reaching towards his to pull him closer to you before placing a kiss on his lips.

"we can always have fun without destroying things," sanzu maintained eye contact with you, his irises growing a bit darker the longer you stared back at him that you had to pull yourself away from him.

"keep it in your pants, haruchiyo."

"but you said—"

"I won't go down on you here!"

"I was not going to suggest that, I was actually thinking I go down on you here," stepping closer to you again, your breath hitched when he pulled your body flush against his, his breath fanning your face. "you'd look cute, don't you think?"

"crying, begging for me to let you cum, right?"

"san—"

"but we're here to have actual fun! do you think we should go to a drive through?" you have never wanted to punch him so bad in your entire life. now you were horny and cranky, and both combinations weren't good news for anyone, especially at three in the morning at a supermarket.

"I think you should leave me alone," you huffed, turning around and walking away from your pink haired boyfriend who followed close behind you with a small laugh, stuffing his hands in his pocket.

"it's okay baby, I will actually go down on you when we go back home—oh look! is that the educational books section?"

looking towards where he was pointing, your mouth dropped at his words.

"those are playboy magazines!"

"your point?" grabbing one of the magazines, sanzu scanned the pages carefully before humming to himself and staring at you.

"zero out of ten, you're not on any of these pages so they're not good." flashing him a look, you held back a smile as you grabbed a magazine yourself.

"ten out of ten, this guy—"

"put it down before I actually rip it to shreds"

2022 © all works belong to slttygeto. do not repost my work anywhere else.

#tokyo revengers smut #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo revengers #draken x reader #draken fluff #tokyo revengers ryuguji ken #ryuguji ken x reader #ken ryuuguji x reader #baji #toman baji #baji x reader #baji keisuke #sanzu imagines #sanzu smut #sanzu headcanons #sanzu akashi #sanzu haruchiyo #bonten sanzu #sanzu x you #sanzu x reader #moon's works

[iwaisuke]

i like you so much, you'll know it

ft. kageyama tobio, semi eita, iwaizumi hajime x fem!reader

genre: fluff (prompts are based off lines of the song)

masterlist

a/n: from the c-drama a love so beautiful :) i wrote this at like 4am so sorry if its crap haha. not proof read either. also, sorry in advance if they're too ooc lol im a mess rn.

» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

i like your eyes, you look away when you pretend not to care i like the dimples on the corners of the smile that you wear. i like you more the world may know but dont be scared cause im falling deeper baby be prepared.

» today was your first day at karasuno highschool. honestly, you were so scared. that was up until you found out kageyama was going too.

» the two of you had been childhood friends due to each others grandparents knowing the others. you had been with him through his ups and downs. his victories and defeats. almost everything kageyama did, you were there with him.

» actually, you didnt know kageyama was going to karasuno until you walked outside your door to find the raven haired boy in the same school uniform as you

» "tobi? you never told me you were going to karasuno?" giving him a side eyed grin. "i thought you were planning on going to aoba johsai like oikawa senpai and iwaizumi senpai"

» you viewed kageyama as someone who expected others to reach his level in order to be a good match for him. he had a strong head on his shoulders. naturally gifted in volleyball, like everything was given to him on a gold platter. of course, he wasnt perfect and thats where you come in and keep him level headed. helping him understand his faults and weaknesses as well. doing your best to encourage the setter

» he let out a sigh. a slight frown forming on his face. "i didnt get in.." he quietly said. "karasuno has a good volleyball team though and i can feel myself growing here" he stated bodly

» and boy was he right. something about kageyama did changd that day. he usually was so bitter and angry. a very pessimistic look on life if he and others weren't at the top. maybe it was the orange haired boy, hinata, that the setter and you became friends with. and maybe it was his great senpai's who were patient with him and gave him the opportunity to grow

» kageyama started smiling more often. his small unnoticeable dimples showing. he became kinder. softer. and more carefree. he was a growing boy both mentally and physically.

» what you didnt realize was that not only was kageyama changing, you as well, had something changing and growing in your heart.

» but kageyama noticed. oh boy did he really notice, the way you seemed to become happier and livelier by the day. how the stars sparkled in your eyes when you talked about something you enjoyed. the kind of perfume you would wear and how you would tie your hair differently each day. the weird trinkets you just seemed to love that decorated your bag. but most importantly, how much bigger your heart has become, loving everyone and their faults. always encouraging and motivating him and his team.

» was she always like this? he would constantly think to himself. all of a sudden being hyperaware about you... but he would NEVER let you know that, let alone his senpai's. it was just too embarrassing. just thinking about the never ending teasing he'd get from tanaka and noya senpai made him shiver.

» all of these things he felt about you hit kageyama like a truck the day everyone started to wear their winter uniforms.

» picking you up to walk to school together was a normal thing since the two of you lived close, but how was kageyama suppose to do this now when you're standing in front of him. thigh high socks to keep your legs warm, an oversized jacket that you had borrowed from him a while back you forgot to return. white mittens to cover your cold hands and the slight blush on your face from the wind chill.

» "does it look weird?" you shyly asked. kageyama was silent. "ah.. give me a second. I'll go back in and change real qui-"

» kageyama tugged on your hand. "its fine. lets just go to school or we'll be late." refusing to look you in the eyes. heat rising to your cheeks as tobio dragged you along with him.

» your feelings for the setter had blossomed over the past few months. falling deeper and deeper into him, and at this point you felt like you couldnt hide it anymore. you just had to tell him. tell him all the wonderful things he's done. the way he's grown and how much he means to you.

» "tobi..." your soft voice spilling out. eyes closed, the fog of your breath coming out as you exhaled. "i lik-"

» you felt something wrap around your neck. "wait y/n..." kageyama spoke, interrupting what you were about to say. not gonna lie, you felt like your heart was about to be shattered like ice eventhough kageyama continued to wrap his scarf around your neck.

» "dont say it..." he quietly said as he began to walk forward without you.

» ah... is this what rejection feels like? i didnt even get to say it properly... your hands felt colder now that kageyama wasnt holding them anymore.

» he took a quick glance back at you. blush on his cheeks. "be prepared because i want to be the one to tell you first."

i like the way you try so hard when you play ball with your friends. i like the way you hit the notes in every song you're shinnin' i love the little things like when you're unaware, i catch you steal a glance and smile so perfectly

» semi eita, your 3 year heart throb from the moment he first spoke to you.

» at first, you had suppressed these feelings, telling yourself he would never look at you the same way. but something about the blonde tsundere struck a chord in your heart that you just couldn't forget.

» the two of you ended up becoming friends. closer than you had actually imagined within these past 3 years. doing everyday life with you. waking up and saving you a spot at breakfast. helping you with your studies in exchange for being his workout buddy and motivator.

» semi kept his tabs on you. your likes and dislikes. the things that made you smile and the things that made you groan in disgust, but he would never let you know that.

» to semi, you were his breath of fresh air. the song he has on repeat everyday. the kind of person who would keep him on his toes. in a good way of course

» "oi what are you daydreaming of this time?" semi asked as you zoned out while drinking your carton of strawberry milk. "hm? oh nothin. just thinkin about whats in store for us today!" reaching your arms above your head letting out a stretch. "i just know for a fact. today is gonna be a good day." semi chuckled at your optimistic claim. "how do you know for sure?" "i dont know how. i just do" you replied with a smile on your face.

» today, shiratorizawa had a practice match with aoba johsai and today, eita was picked to be in the starting line up. the pure joy that radiated from his body. maybe today was a really good day just like how you had said.

» semi took a quick glance up into the stands, you gave him a thumbs up and wished him good luck. his smile was brighter than you had ever seen it and his eyes shined like stars. he always told you that whatever chance he got on the court, he would be sure to not let his team down no matter what. he was in his zone. playing his best and sure enough, they had won all 3 matches.

» after practice, semi and you would hang out at his dorm afterwards. he liked to show you all the new songs he was working on. whether it was a cover or a song or a song he was writing on his own.

» the two of you leaned against the wall as you sat on semi's bed. his sheet music all sprawled out before him on his bed sheets. guitar in his arms and you beside him.

» "what are you working on semi?" "a song" "well obviously dum dum" you laughed, reaching out for a paper in front.

» "so who's the special lady?" you teased him as you read the lyrics. deep down inside you could only wish these words were meant for you. a blush formed on eita's face. "just... shut up about it... its not ready yet"

» it was getting late and falling asleep at semi's place was a normal occurrence at this point. your eyes became heavy and your head started bobbing.

» "sleepy?" eita asked as he noticed your eyes drooping. "mhm. sing for me semi? please?" his voice was so soft like a mothers touch yet somehow had the power to pierce through your soul sometimes. although, it never failed to help you fall asleep when you needed it.

» hesitantly, semi started humming. softly speaking some lyrics here and there. you didnt know where the tune was from so you listened the best you could.

» "... till the last of snow dissapears ... till a rainy day, becomes clear. never knew a love like this, now i can't let go..."

» your eyes had closed. slumber taking over you as you fell onto semi's shoulder.

» "im in love with you... and now you know..."

» yeah. today was a good day. just like you said it was going to be.

in a world devoid of life, you bring color. in your eyes i see the light, my future. always and forever i know i cant let you go. im in love with you and now you know

» to iwaizumi, unlike volleyball, oikawa, maki, mattsun, school, anything life threw at him; you were the thing in his life that was constant yet at the same time a whirlwind of new beginnings. not in a bad way though.

» ever since you were kids, you showed iwaizumi the beauty in things he would have never guessed had. he was bold and tended to look over things without giving them much thought. his eyes straight ahead to the trials before him. you on the other hand, stopped him and slowed him down from rushing into them blindly.

» "every moment is precious. you should learn to cherish it because you never know when it's gonna be your last" you always said

» your views of the world were beautiful compared to how cruel it actually was. naivety maybe? or maybe it was just because you were blessed with a kind soul.

» iwaizumi always knew he had feelings for you. you had been with him through thick and thin. he could depend on you and you could depend on him. in his eyes, you were the most beautiful person on earth. deep down he had hoped the two of you could stay like that forever. nothing could ever change that.

» or so he thought...

» "iwa chan~ you owe me a meat bun" oikawa whined as the group of friends were walking to the gym for volleyball practice. "shut up crappykawa. i already bought you one last week" "oi isn't that y/n over there?" maki said, shaking iwaizumi's shoulder.

» sure enough it was you. apparently you had told iwaizumi to go ahead of you today because you had something to take care of in the afternoon. telling him you'd meet up with him after practice was over. not thinking much of it, he bid you a farewell and went on in his day.

» "oooou by the looks of it, this is the perfect confession scene" mattsun teased. "oi stop messing around" iwaizumi's voice hoarse. not gonna lie, iwaizumi felt his heart drop when mattsun said that

» the 4 boys crept closer to see what was going on.

» there you were, standing in the middle of a classroom with a black haired boy. "mhm. definitely a confession." oikawa stated. "shut up tooru we cant hear" maki retorted.

» you weren't considered popular in school but that didnt mean people didnt know who you were. iwaizumi knew you were gorgeous and on top of that, smart, kind and one of the sweetest girls, so it was only natural that people would be drawn to you.

» they watched as the boy got closer and closer to you. voices barely being audible to the 4 boys outside. iwaizumi's heart could bear to see this right before his eyes.

» without even thinking, his feet moving on his own, iwaizumi barged into the room. all eyes towards him.

» "iwa what are you-" without letting you finish, iwa dragged you out of the classroom. "iwa where are you taking me" asking him as he took you to who knows where, leading you up the stairs of the school.

» up on the roof, he finally let go. "sorry..." he mumbled.

» "sorry for what iwa?" "for ruining that confession... i just-"

» "you just...-?"

» "i just love you ok?!"

» your heart shook at the resonance of his voice. iwa liked you? he liked you back?! wait no- he loved you.

» you had loved iwaizumi from the moment you met him and as the two of you grew up, your love for him only grew deeper. he was the only one you'd ever look at. the only one who would ever cross your mind. you had hoped he felt the same about you but he was always so busy with other things you only felt like you would be able to support him on the sidelines as he faced the world head on like he always does.

» just being in iwaizumi's presence was enough for you. no need to be greedier, you thought. its good to be content with what you have, but just knowing that he shares the same feelings... its ok to be a little greedy right?

» your silence being louder than it should have been, iwaizumi took it the wrong way. "look I know this isn't the greatest confession. heck it's not even the way I wanted to confess to you, and get it if you like that other guy, you don't have to-"

» shuting him up with a kiss, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. needless to say, he was shocked, but embraced you as well.

» "you're overthinking too much iwa. that's so unlike you" you chuckled. his face bright red at the previous actions.

» "i love you. I've loved you for a long time actually. every single second. every moment we've shared. i cant picture myself with anyone but you hajime."

» iwa let out a sigh of relief. a smile being brought back onto his face. "good because all I know is that i cant let you go. in the past, present and even in the future...."

» the blue sky slowly changing into shades of coral warmed your heart even more on top of his sweet words that you've always longed to hear.

» "im in love with you, and now you know"

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

enjoy your order! have a great day!

#haikyuu x reader #hq fluff #kageyama tobio #kageyama x reader #kageyama fluff #semi eita #semi x reader #semi eita fluff #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi fluff #iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu fluff #yinny!drabbles

[lanseax]

okay so give me your opinion on all the girls, who is your fave what are your thoughts

HELL YES, thank you for giving me permission to spill my soul (obviously gonna contain spoilers)

dot: Love her, her story breaks my heart, her story hit me really hard on the aspect of doing things for yourself, being your own support system because your parents are sick or not around, and that made me instantly feel for her. i also loved how she was written, she wasn’t volatile, she didn’t explode because thats not who she was, she was tired of living through hell day after day and finally gwtting this one chance to go to hawaii and do something fun and it fucked her over. her scene of giving the lighter to rachel made so much sense like she has done EVERYTHING she can and the world keeps shitting on her. (would have liked to see a bit more of her and shelby)

fatin: so when i saw the trailer i was instantly like “who dis” and wow did they fucking serve up a god damn six course meal with her. she just wants to be a kid, she wants to have fun and party and get a B on a test without thinking how her parents are going to react. she’s every student who was told they were gifted and then their parents hounded them to keep up with their gift even if they didn’t want to. i did want to strangle her dad tho like he turned it on his daughter instead of taking responsibility fuck that. her and leah’s relationship was something i wasn’t expecting but really fell in love with. her being an anchor while leah was suffering from so much. (looking forward to more of her mom-ing the group)

leah: i’ll be honest i thought she was a whiny bitch at first, i didnt like her, her story was meh, a usual girl falls in love with boy, boy breaks her heart, girl cant cope. i wasn’t super interested in her until that turning point with fatin going missing and the deep realization that her heart is gonna be broken but she cant let that be a block for the rest of her life. she’s gonna need more help to get through it but she’s taking baby steps and we love to see that. (more of her and fatin please!!)

martha: IF ANYONE TOUCHES HER ILL FUCKING KILL THEM, i’m very worried because like she wasn’t in the “present” timeline (im assuming the interviews are present) and they were talking about her parents possibly suing. please dont hurt my baby. Her entire arc was baffling, i said it in the tags of one post that the comparison of sexual assault to hunter vs prey was a beautiful comparison i just think the ending was a bit too much. but i could write an essay on that alone. her and shelby being friends was so heart warming like they were making plans to hang out omg. PLEASE DONT HURT MY BABY. (im serious please dont hurt her)

nora: DIDNT TRUST HER FROM THE START, it was her initial line when leah asked if anyone remembered how they got there that pulled me in. she was conscious for the whole thing, no one remembered going to shore they just were there but suddenly nora was conscious and she pulled rachel to the shore??? mmmm dont buy it. her story with rachel was so deep and compelling that i was expecting more of that not her falling for a guy and the breakup. that shit made her betrayal hit different it didnt make me pissed at her it made me sad for her, gretchen completely manipulated nora’s grief into a tool to get her to agree to this. that shit hurted.

rachel: man that entire story of an athelete peaking was so well done, because its not a story often told with athletes its usually they broke something and it made them no longer able to compete or something or they get a big comeback but rarely is it, “hey you’ve done the best you can”. and i’ve seen what that can do to people, young girls especially. it hurts and its painful and you would do everything to hold onto that. it made me wanna wrap rachel in a warm hug and give her a cookie. (would like to see her get more friendly with the others, am very interested in finding out if in “present” time she knows nora was in on it and if she’ll choose her sister vs her friends)

shelby: i was honestly expecting a more violently homophobic back story. her story floored me though, im so upset at how she lashed out at becca but i know it must eat at her every day, how could it not? i really do hope she becomes more confident in who she is and who she wants to be with, i really dont wanna see her regress but i know it might happen. i know for a fact if i was in the situation and someone was as optimistic as she was i would knock em out so props to the other girls (THE SCENE where she keeps asking to “see her” i was so hoping she meant toni and they were gonna get this reunion kiss but when she said leah that made it even more intriguing)

toni: i cannot state how much i love toni and how much i related to her in the sense of just wanting to yell and scream and break shit when you’re angry, i’ve gotten to a much better place but man i knew that energy so well once upon a time. her story with regan kinda fucked me up, that type of heartbreak hurts. but seeing that and then seeing toni be so calm with shelby because they’re already in such a shit scenario and toni knows shelby has to go at her own pace FUCK THAT MADE MY HEART MELT (i need the entire piss throwing story because like... how? just how?)

my favs are toni, shelby, fatin and martha. i love all of the girls but they’re the ones im deeply invested in. i noticed a bit ago that this is shockingly one of the only shows where i love every single character. like all of them are so interesting snd complex and that just speaks to the team behind the show, like fucking kudos to them they deserve some awards.

#nox answers #anon #ASK ME MORE BOUT THE WILDS PLS #tv: the wilds #tv #the wilds spoilers

[zanguntsu]

what are ur thoughts on each bleach arc o: like quality wise!

oh boy this got longer than expected. Whoops.

substitute arc: i rlly like this arc! its short but i love how it sets up the characters and i adore the integration between ichigos human life vs shinigami life And i like the monster of the week set up its a fun and its a lot more character focused in the beginning. the fights were very character driven, like with grand fisher, sora, the hollow that went to hell. all the fights felt like they had a meaning that had a strong impact on a character, like ichigo having closure after defeating (he should have killed him tbh) grand fisher.

soul society: one of the best if not the best arcs imo. theres a good amount of development, the fights are good and have emotional weight (ichigo v byakuya, uryu v mayuri, chad v shunsui, yoruichi v soi fon) and the newly introduced characters are interesting! very iconic and cool! there was a lot of character arc conclusions? Closure? like with uryu and yoruichi as well as rukia. the characters are a strong point here too and the introduction of soul society brought in world building and it was something we really needed to see. soul society as the villains was pretty good and it did show them as a threat. its a good arc and had a good cliffhanger ending to the next arc

arrancar arc: its a pretty good arc but this is where i feel like bleach was starting to fall off in quality since kubo didnt plan for the series to go past ss. like the plot was a little repetitive with the rescue arc the placing was pretty bad and its where the kubos problem of having too many characters started forming. there are some pretty good moments though, i really love the ichigo vs grimmjow and ichigo vs ulquiorra fights along with rukia vs aaroniero (rukia development time,,). the arc just felt pretty slow at times ig? But there are some very good moments

fake karakura arc/deicide: i like this arc even though i know half of it was bullshit. there are some good fights, soi fon vs barragan is one of my faves bc her bankai and it was just interesting to see the captains more involved even though i wish they didnt just stand there. like cmon the fate of the world is at stake gang up on ppl u have numbers. i do think its bullshit to have aizen be That powerful (i will excuse the hogyoku use bc thats his trump card and was set up) but having him take down everyone like that was eh. like i know it was meant to show how powerful aizen was but honestly i wish there was a better way. maybe make them all fight amongst each other like with momo but its all mind games and shit i feel like that was a better way of showing how strong aizen was. also speaking of aizen i wish there was more character to him like take away his manipulative badass thing and its just nothing. what drives him to kill the soul king and why? was it loneliness (which is a poor motive tbh), injustice? what brought him on this path? i feel like tousens goals had more to it then aizen tbh

the deicide arc was pretty okay i love mugetsu but im sorry there was absolutely no lead up to him. i love that form but its pretty bullshit that it didnt get as much as a mention in the past and i wish it did bc that would have made mugetsu have a lot more impact. i remember how ppl theorized that it was how isshin lost his powers even though it was proven otherwise but i wish they went with that. but i did like seeing zangetsu again and that touching moment with him and ichigo was good also the rukia and ichigo goodbye was very emotional. was it a good arc? maybe not plot wise but its pretty beloved

fullbringer: oh this is where the quality definitely dropped which sucks because i feel like this arc had a very interesting premise and plot set up. i know that i havent watched/read all of the fb arc but i do know enough of it just not much in between the beginning and end. i wish that the fullbringers had more focus bc they were all forgettable except maybe riruka and they should have had more screentime and the concept of fullbringers is genuinely interesting?? humans with hollow powers is a good concept and its a shame kubo didnt expand upon this more

oh and i have some beef with the villains bc its a fucking tragedy of wasted potential. ginjo is like. almost there to be considered a good villain. hes the previous substitute shinigami and u only bring it up at the end?? thats such a huge chunk of information and it sets up a connection between ichigo and ginjo. idc about tsukishima he can be whatever but i do think ginjo could have been a pretty good villain if he wasnt as blatantly evil. like i know the betrayal schtick is getting old but i would have preferred him as a villain with good intentions, like having him against soul society is a good motive bc ss commits war crimes but it was never clear in this arc (aside from ss monitering the substitutes) but it just didnt feel as strong as a motive to make him do what he did.

one good thing i do have to say about this arc was i do like ichigo in this arc and how much conflict he experiences and we get to see him commit murder although i do wish this had repercussions on him. i feel like soul society’s intervention was unnecessary but thats just me. the fullbringer arc being centered around humans was a good idea, bringing the series back to its roots and i just wish we spent more developmemt with the humans before jumping back to soul society, like more time on the aftermath of the last arc. also this arc should have been the chad arc im dying on this hill.

tybw: wow! this was a trainwreck of an arc! i have. So Many issues with tybw and its where kubos writing weaknesses truly shine. the biggest issues are its pacing which is absolutely abhorrent and it takes up at least a third of the entire series (literally. tybw had 206 chapters out of 686 since tybw officially starts on 480). we had periods where the main cast dont show up for like. 50 chapters. the other biggest problem were the characters. why did kubo think it was a good idea to introduce 26+ characters. why. there is absolutely no time to develop them and while some may receive screentime the majority have no impact to the plot beyond their fights with the characters we actually care about. there is no reason for people to give a shit about them. i can barely remember their names, much less their backstories

and one of the bigger problems was the antagonists themselves. they have a motive and while i understand hatred towards soul society. yhwach’s motives were the worst out of all the villains. i cannot fathom what motivates him because it went fucking everywhere. did he have beef with ss? was he waging war out of self preservation? did he want to end death? like the narrative hints at all of these but it just feels like a mess of a character! i never liked yhwach to begin with since his very concept is awful (seriously? giving a previously thought group of people who experienced genocide a nazi motif? what the fuck kubo). hes a villain but theres no substance. his powers could have been cool but it was on the point of needing a deus ex machina to take him down.

and the fights are forgettable with the occasional good ones (shunsui v that one fuck, rukia v that other fuck) but there are some bad fights (askin v yoruichi, the quincy thor guy). there are some good moments, like all the bankai reveals, it adds more to the characters but it also causes so much jumping around in the plot and this is what happens when u have this many characters and some will be forgotten (so sorry chad). it sucks. some of the fights dragged on longer than necessary and it was just. so much. all of these issues really downgraded the arc and thats what made it the mess it was.

and a lot of the ideas brought in to tybw are criminally underused. ichigo being a quincy may have been wack but i did like the idea but it really only had some sparse moments like masaki and zangetsu development, creating a connection between ichigo and yhwach but that was really it. it was not like his hollow powers which coexisted with the plot and had huge moments and was just a constant presence. you could forget that ichigo was a quincy tbh and we needed more quincy moments. and the soul king was horribly underused because it did have set up from the arrancar arc, it was aizens entire goal! but kubo never really explores the ideas of the soul king and only in cfyow do we really get more info about it and thats no good because the soul king is a vital piece of bleach lore and worldbuilding.

anyways thats my two cents sorry this was rlly long

#ask #anon #sorry this was more of an essay #i just have a lot of feelings about this laundrey detergent show 😔 #ramble tag #long post #nazi mention #its brief but i hate the vandenreich so

[thorsstorms]

The Bestfriend

Winter Soldier/James x Reader (soulmate AU)

She thought she had grown out of her night mares, until she has another years later, and she remembers it this time in vivid detail. The heartbreaking sounds of a man in pain. Her soulmate was not what she expected, but shared dreams means they are your soulmate, right? She was going to love him no matter what.

Warnings: Shit ton of angst and worry.

Marvel Masterlist

The Bestfriend

She stared at the TV screen on her floors’ lobby wall, watching it with peeled eyes just as a few coworkers next to her were. It was only a normal morning, they all start the same. But what kind of morning is it ever when something like this happens. Not to compare it to 9/11 but.. That was also a very normal morning. No one expects to be bombed while enjoying the start their morning. Especially not congressmen and women, leaders from around the world, and her own boss.

She could not think straight, watching as they covered what happened only minutes ago.

“Has anyone heard from Mr. Stark?” She hears someone ask from behind her. Mumbles were there in reply but she turned away from the screen and strutted straight back into her office, shutting the door behind her. It was alarming. What if the tower was next? Who was one to know?

She called Peppers’ cellphone with the land line sitting on her desk. It rings and rings as she taps on the desk nervously. Of course Pepper does not answer, to her own dismay. It was silly to think she would.

She left the tower, rushing the entire way home. She really just wanted to be in her safe space. Her apartment was cozy, nothing bad can happen within her walls, surely. Besides, she could do her own work at home. All she needed was her laptop and cell phone. Emails were easy to handle. The only reason she got her own office in the first place was because Mr. Stark, now just Tony to her, was asking for special favors that were not in her job description. There were little things… purchases, meetings, deliveries that he didn't want Pepper to worry about. Ahem, know about, so she did a little black mail. She was so sick of her little cubicle. She found it unnecessary if she could do it from home but her boss wanted her there, so she never complained. The office was such an upgrade though. The view, the large oak desk and the couch. Not to mention the wall of her own books and items of her own pleasure. The third coziest place to her. The second being her own apartment; the first is an almost forgotten dreamscape garden with her favorite person in the world.

She still considers her special James as her favorite person, despite the feeling of abandonment. She tried not to dwell on it anymore. She liked to pretend he was out there living his life happy without her, not bearing to think about an alternative.

She left messages for both Tony and Pepper saying that she went home, as well as over two thirds of the building. If they needed her for dealing with PR they knew they could just call, but until then she would be doing her work from home.

The TV got turned on after she settled herself on the couch. Her phone was eerily silent on the end table, everything felt eerily silent. The TV was her choice of background noise while she wrapped a blanket around her and opened her laptop knowing that she was going to be more than busy with Tony’s emails, considering.

~

“Yes, I’m fine Mom. I left the tower a few hours ago, right after it happened.” Her family knew where she worked, of course. Doing her own work became increasingly harder to do when calls and texts started to flood in as the news spread, all to make sure she was okay. She closed her own eyes and laid her head on the back of the couch. Overwhelmed was an understatement.

She listened to the ramblings of a protective, yet loving mother. She was always so worried for her daughters’ safety. Especially with no one else to keep an eye on her.

It seems like everytime she gets out or scrolls social media there was another couple. An engagement, a pregnancy, a new house together. Everyone is finding their soulmates while she gets to watch. Everything was happening around her and she was just there, along for the ride. Nothing exciting ever happened.

Times like these her mother wished her daughter could find her soulmate sooner than later. Her mother was clueless as to her daughters knowledge of her own solmate, or even her lack of knowledge on her soulmate.

He’ll show up, she tells herself every night.

“The bomber has been identified as James Barnes, also known as the Winter Soldier.”  

The world freezes as she stares at the screen. A close up shot of a masked man.

It couldn't be.

She feels her heart ache, tear in two with hope that he’s alive and fear that he’s alive.

They’ve made a mistake, she thinks.

“No, no.” She whispers to herself. The call was long forgotten and ended with automatic fingers. She covers her mouth as she watches the screen begging it for more information, but not much was given. Other then, “orders to shoot on site.”

She doesn’t hear herself as she cries into her hands, but feels the lump of fear try to morph into a feeling of relief that he was alive. She feels frantic. He’s so close to her. She may be in New York, but he was not too far. D.C. is not too far.

He’s real.

She doesn’t think as she dials Tony’s number again. He has to do something. She’s going to tell him that James is her soul mate. The dial tone ends and she clips the call off knowing he’ll never listen to a voice message. She types a sloppy text, fingers too shakey but way to urgent to fix it.

“Tony plese call me i saw the news you cant let them kill james hes my soulmte i promise ill explain bt dnt let htem. You have to do soemting”

“Tony pleae call me”

“You cant let them sget him first.”

He never texts her back. It’s horrible, he probably thinks she is crazy and she just knows he won’t understand. She can’t bring herself to eat. Or sleep, as much as she wants to sleep and get away from this mess.

~

It’s been two days and there has been silence on her end. The news has nothing new. There is know way to contact Tony, she’s tried everything. Building the courage to clean herself up a little and do something productive was not an easy task to accomplish so soon.

She moped around the apartment, not bearing to even look in the direction of her bedside table where a stack of dream journals lie. She knows what is in them. Her life with James was articulated on every page, ink covering every square inch, front and back. She can't look at them knowing that it could have all been for nothing.

It could never be for nothing, she would never regret what she feels for her James. Her James didn't do this, he could not have.

Her james was kind, and gentle with everything he touches. His fingers picking up a small pink Peonie and resting it on the table. Pink was his favorite. Her James was a curious soul, he always wanted to know more, even if he didnt vocalize it. She could see it in his eyes. Her James was full of life. He was trusting and showed his emotions through actions. She read him like a book.

Her James could not be this man they charge with killing the King of Wakanda. She doesn’t believe it for a second.  

A knock on the apartment door knocked her from wallowing and from the hole she was slowly digging her emotions into. She was sure she was at the stage of anger. How could anyone think of her James to be so cruel?

She quickly got dressed and walked to the door while  squeezing her hair dry from a shower. The persistent knocking continued until she whipped the door open, displaying her irritation. It was wiped quickly when she came face to face with Captain Rogers staring her down. She stiffened as the man stepped forward into her apartment, she backed up from him not protesting. He looks behind him, checking the halls right and left before shutting the door and locking it, turning to her.

She was tense, her face going pale by the look on his face.

Tony must’ve told him, and now Captain Rogers was here to get information so he could hunt down James and be the one to kill him himself.

“How do you know Bucky?” His voice commanded an answer.

“Who?” She asks, lowering her shoulders in confusion.

“Tony said you know him. Did Tony lie?” His tone was stern, giving no room for contemplation.

“James?” She tried to conceal how breathless her voice is. She doesn't want him to get hurt but honestly, Rogers was definitely scaring her.

“I- I don't, I. It wasn't him.” She mutters quickly. She is not sure how to go about this but knows she doesn't want to be the reason her James ends up with a bullet hole through his head. “He wouldn't do that. He’s not the Winter Soldier or whatever they are calling him. He-He just wouldn't do this! You have to believe me!”

She could feel tears welling in her eyes. She was not keen on confrontation, especially with someone that has such a demeaning presence but she would do anything to stand up for her James. If that means powering through and defying orders then she would gladly keep her lips sealed.

“I do believe you.”

“I promise that isn’t him- what?” He believes her?

“Just tell me how you think you know him!” Steve was close to losing his patience on this girl, raising his voice.

“He- I know him from my dreams. He’s my soulmate, we share dreams.” She rambles still stuck on the fact that he believes her. If he believes her then he might not want to hurt him, right? “I promise I don't know anything. I haven’t seen him in almost a year. He never let me ask about him. He didn't like talking about it. Really I don't know anything. But I promise you that James wouldn't have done this.”

She finishes trying to catch her breath.

“I’m going to find him.” Steve says. It’s final, she can hear it in his conviction.

“No, no, please,” She begs him, her heart thrown out the window and all sensible thought didn't make sense anymore. “Please they have the wrong person. James is good, he is kind. He loves me, I know he does.”

She feels a tear slip but she doesn't pay any mind to it. She was not letting Captain Rogers leave here without being convinced. He can't hurt James, he just can’t.

“He’s been hurt and there are bad people that have hurt him but he doesn't deserve to be framed for this. I don't know what he’s been through but I can only imagine. Captain,” She pleads, “if you could have seen him the first time I found him. He was screaming, for ages. Every night he was so terrified of something but I don't know what it was. They've done something bad to him but he’s escaped from them. He escaped the darkness.” She cries, ready to beg at her knees.

She is so consumed with convincing the man before her that she doesn't notice his own reaction to her words. How would it feel to hear that his best friend tortures himself with nightmares every night? Has been hurting for decades with no one to help him?

His eyes water at the thought but pushes it away. Steve reaches for her arms, but she flinches away from him, rocketing to the other side of the room.

Steve’s hands shoot in front of him to show that he earns no harm to her, his brow furrowing at the fact that she was scared of him, “No, I didn’t mean it like that. I won’t let anyone hurt him,” he assures her.

She calms, wiping her face and clasping her shaking hands behind her back. Who was she to argue with his declaration to keep her James safe.

“I don’t understand, Captain Rogers.” She mutters but he hears her loud and clear.

“He’s my best friend.” He takes a few steps closer to her, showing his hands in submission. He wasn't going to hurt her. “From before I went in the ice, he’s been my best friend since we were young. I dont- I dont know whats happening or why he’s still alive, I’ve run into him before. Hydra has done something to him. But I’m going to get him back.”

“Hydra?” She asks, her face darkening in confusion. “Is, is that what the darkness is called?”

“I assume so. I get it, when I find him, you will be the first to know.” He watches her face brighten up, a small twitch of her lips at the thought of seeing him in person. Alive and hopefully, well. “And please, call me Steve.”

Steve does not stay much longer with her. She has a number to contact him and vise versa but he leaves without giving her much more information. How cruel is it to turn this into a waiting game?

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #winter soldier #winter soldier x reader #marvel masterlist #Steve rogers

[keycoro]

hello angels!! i’m rocky and i’m sooo excited to plot/write with yas. this is joaquin but everyone calls him key so i’ll usually address him as that!

[ arón piper, male, twenty two ] it looks like JOAQUIN “KEY” CORONA is late to class once again . how do they expect to get their degree in ARCHITECTURE by skipping class ? it’s a wonder that they made it to their SENIOR year . then again , i heard that they were + SPONTANEOUS which may give them a pass with professors , but they are also - ENIGMATIC so maybe not . all i know is that they remind me of BLOODY KNUCKLES, SHOTS WITHOUT CHASERS, AND GOLD CHAINS so watch out . oh look , HE just walked in !

intangible, enigmatic, hellraiser, rebellious, the spontaneous insurgent, easier to be an asshole than to come to terms with any of his feelings, a playboy. secret soft. everyone thinks they know him but he only shows what he wants. it’s easier like that.

he’s bisexual but closeted

key comes from a really wealthy family 

he has two older sisters but doesn’t get along with them because they’re really different from him

basically luna and emilia are more like their mother; they care more about being powerful and influential and put less emphasis on familial connections

he was really close with his father but his father died three years earlier so he’s kind of on this path of raising hell but anyone who knew him in his freshman year knew him as a different person

he’s always been a little mysterious, always been the charismatic type, kind of a player but was never closed off to making new relationships which is where he’s at right now

he has issues with his mom because his mother sees him as his father

his father, santino, was really all over the place tbh and he was a journalist so he was always traveling but he was very fun-loving, very charming, and didn’t ever stress the importance of one kind of path for life

but more about key........

he is the president of sigma psi pi, probably the type to throw you out of the party if you touch the person he likes 

always has goodies for the party /if u know what i mean/

whispers hes a drug dealer

he is top 5 most likely to start a fight

he is usually in the mood for a fight but will also have his really quiet moments where you’re like .......is there still a soul in ur body bro

very very broody

i will continue to flesh him out more but main takeaways:

broody

just wants a hug

will ash his blunt on your opinion

“dont touch me”

*stares intensely*

“no im not crying why dONT YOU JUST LIKE MIND YOUR BUSINESS OR SOMETHING”

“i dont usually share my poptarts but i dont like when people cry while in the same vicinity so please take this and stop doing that”

partying without shirt because he can

i didnt steal ur bitch bc i dont want to keep ur bitch

pls hug me

also he doesnt think chris did it and will stand by this even though i dont think he has much to back up this idea

connections!!!

ride or die bihhhh

fwb

we’re homies and we tell each other things that most people have to beg for us to tell them also when you’re too drunk so i take you home also when we’re both really drunk we fuck but i bring u home after and it aint even that serious and if anyone wants to fight u send them my way

best friends fuhevaaaa

enemies!!! because key wants all the static

enemies or misunderstood one another turned homies

party friends that just get really messed up together

ex gf, he cheated

i will just keep making fun of you because i hate you

other exes

the boy he likes????

someone he had a pregnancy scare with??? they grew apart after and never dealt with it???? i need this

guy he hooked up with and is like omg u make me question everything and now i’m trying to avoid u but i keep staring

unrequited or they think its unrequited

his ex’s best friend that he hooked up with idk

somebody who knew his dad???

teammates/work out buddies bc soccer

enemies but only because assumptions they’ve made about one another but now a creepy guy is hitting on you so im going to pretend im your boyfriend

they’re not really friends but get put into a situation where they realize they have more in common than they thought or are kinda friends but neither really ever want to admit it???

secret friends or secret lovers

we’re stuck in this elevator i guess we should talk about our life stories

omg i had sex with your sibling and you saw me naked that one time accidentally this is awkward

our exes are on a date so lets go on a date??? and/or help me make this person jealous

his little

in the same frat but hate each other

we go on adventures together

childhood friends

we both hate that person

key will protect at all costs

you’re the opposite of me and yet here we are

someone who is genuinely good for him like so wholesome and makes him do sweet lil things unintentionally

LETS PLOT :’) honestly if you have any ideas or anything please feel free to message me or like this because fuck yeah 

#key is my child #fuck him up #drugs tw #death tw #? #like this pleaseee i will msg u hehe #whittonintro #whispers hes a scorpio #about joaquin.

[karmade]

okay... i didnt like far from home.

well, spiderman far from home spoilers ahead.

i honestly never expected that I’ll type up something like that after spider man movie... after homecoming, that comforted my tortured by civil war soul in best way possible, i hoped that far from home will help me, and peter, to cope with endgame.

well, it made me feel worse. 

Starting with: NICK FURY. I always had up and down relationship with him, but after Captain Marvel I was really cool with him. Yet in FFH, he hit the bottom way too fast: Fury demands Spider Man to help take down creatures that supposedly destroyed the earth of other dimension: water and fire element creatures. Spider Man, who’s abilities include super strenght, agility, stickiness and webs... is simply just not fit to help with this kind of villians. What exactly Dr Strange is doing, when other dimentions are actually his shtick? Where’s Wanda? What about Hulk, Wakandian soldiers (and tech), hey, where’s Rhodey? There was fucking battalion of superheroes at the end of Endgame, but this supposed apocalyptic villian is only fit to fight by 16 years old teenager? Okay.... Well, I get it that it’s a plot point, that there will be no Spider man movie if this plot point didnt exist, but they could have at least designed a villian more fit to make Spider Man’s abilities essential. ANYWAY: Fury decides on this 16 years old and uses tranquliser on his 16 years old friend (which was not creepy and unnecessary at aaaaaall).  But then Peter says no (we’ll get to that later) and Fury? Fucking tries to guiltrip him by using Tony. I am so completely livid about it, Fury saying some shit about ‘oh I guess Stark was wrong about you’ TO A KID TONY LOVED, OBVIOUSLY HAD A HIGHEST REAGARD FOR AND NEVER DOUBTED AND WOULD HAVE NEVER FUCKING ASKED SOMETHING LIKE THAT FROM IN THE FIRST PLACE, FUCK YOU. Fury using Tony to make this KID feel bad about himself, reminding Peter about death of his friend and mentor and, yeah, possibly father figure, basically by implying that apparently Tony would have been dissapointed... that shit was low. The fuck. But Peter still says no, so Nick Fury goes and steers a WHOLE BUS OF TEENAGERS TO EPICENTRE OF DANGER. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING MEEEE. If I’ll hear one more WORD about tony kidnapping peter to berlin after this, I’m going to fucking explode.

EDITH: the first ever Tony Stark’s AI that had no emotions. I used to think that it was Friday operating Tony’s glasses, watch and everything, but it’s beside the point: unlike her brothers and sisters, Edith shows no hints of having her own mind, she’s a THING that can be simply transferred to the wrong guy and dont mind it. JARVIS was able to tell that Ultron was hostile, AND when he was hurt and disentegrated he STILL had a mind to protect nuclear codes without being ordered to. Yet Edith is fine with destroying cities, harming people and killing Spider Man. I guess it’s a small point to be peeved with, since she’s artifical, but it sure would have been nice if Edith (created by Tony who LOVED to be prepared for everything)  had protocols to prevent her from being used against civilians (AT LEAST be familiar with Spider Man and Peter Parker to NOT shoot him on command) and they would have had to hack her to remove it. But oh well. 

What REALLY hurt me about Edith tho, was how easily Peter let the glasses go. It was unexpected and sad and I’d say rather poorely executed. Again, giving up the glasses was a plot point, but the scene itself, it was done in such way that I felt no reluctance from Peter. It was a thing Tony left for him, a parting gift, yet Peter gives it away like it didnt matter, even more so, it felt like he was happy to part with it, phew, thanks god it’s not my burden anymore! Also, Tony was really, really protective of his tech: his suit, his watch, his AIs, his bots, his glasses... all of them were part of him, never intended to be given over to goverment or military or some stranger. He gave Peter those glasses because Peter could use them like Tony did, discreetly, while out of costume, and because he knew that Peter would NEVER use them to harm people. But seeing Peter giving over those glasses to some stranger he met only two days ago, as some kind of sacrifice to not feel bad about not joining Fury’s new superhero team, that left a bad taste in my mouth. So bad, in fact, that I still feel it.

(And while we’re on topic of AI, what about Karen? Where is she? Peter used 3 different types of costumes in this movie (minus black one that wasnt stark tech) and she never said a word. Thats... weird, dissapointing and sad.)

BECK: That piece of shit. Yes, I hated that it was yet another ‘IT’S ALL TONY STARK’S FOULT!’ origin. Just.. how many more villians ranting about how and why they hate tony marvel wants me to endure? Because I honestly lost count by this point. And yeah, movie didnt try to make Tony problematic, yeah, they did not try to make us sympathetic toward Beck, they kept enforcing the idea of Tony being good and selfless superhero Peter should aspire to be, but. I still hated it. I hated that they dragged Tony into it, I hated villains cheering that Tony is now dead, I hated that they used stark tech to destroy cities and harm people, I hated Beck wearing or just touching Edith... I hated it, okay. And people WILL now use this 'tony steals tech!' agenda out of context how they happily blame tony for 'kidnapping and blackmailing' peter, 'trying to kill bucky in cold blood', 'siding with ross and splitting avengers apart', 'creating murderous bot'... it's now out there, even if BARF is obviously property of SI and Beck is obviously a psycho.

PETER: I love Tom Holland’s Peter Parker. I love him, I never stopped. But. But. In homecoming, Peter’s inner tremor of wanting to be of use so badly but not called up or trusted to be of help was a very well executed theme of the movie. Peter had a bravado of I’M NOT A KID, I CAN DO IT! in the first half of the movie, that led him to failing big time on the ferry, to him having this big emotional choice of WHO, IF NOT ME on homecoming night, to declining an Avenger title. It was so so so so so well done emotionally. And I was so ready to cry my soul out in FFH, expecting Peter to have so much inner struggle between wanting to distance himself from superheroing after endgame and wanting to help people and trying to fit in in tony’s shoes and not seeing himself capable of it... I searched for those undertones so much in every scene, but all I really felt was Peter not really wanting to be in this movie at all. He’s a kid! I get it! He’s a kid I love and want to protect, okay! But after 4 movies of knowing Peter Parker who jumped in the MOMENT someone was in danger, it baffled me how reluctant he was to help in FFH, basically forced to do it. We could theoritise about him having trouble coping after endgame all day long, but after IM3, brilliantly showing Tony struggling to cope after traumatic events, FFH did not deliever. They tried, but, it was some bland dialogue and barely any subtlety, just a kid wanting to go on his date, already, can you please ask someone else?

Scene with Happy was good, tho. How Peter goes to him but is scared to trust him at first, how Happy is gentle with him, the talk, the in plane lab, the music. It was good bit, but. It was just small bit.

Another thing I loved was MJ, who was a delight, her scenes were good and pure, and Zendaya did perfect job on portraying her struggles of liking Peter and worrying about him being Spider Man and still not being sure about it and trying to appear indifferent and above it all... she was really great and endearing and her scenes with Peter were lovely. The kiss(es) scene was one of the purest kissing scenes I witnessed in a superhero movie, god bless it.

HOLOGRAMS: They were scary, I guess. They were disorienting and difficult to follow and 100% made to whoa you with 3D effects. But I felt completely detached from feelings that those illusions should have summoned up, because for the most part Peter wore the mask and thus we could not see his face or read his emotions. Ironman zombie was by far most unnecessary bit, I was scared that Beck would use Tony in his illusions, barely breathing whole thing, but then ironman zombie showed up and I actually relaxed, cringing. It was just that, a scene that makes you pull a disgusted face, not touching your emotions at all. Somehow...disappointing. Also... Tony CONSTANTLY used heat signature scanner to check up where civillians and villians were. It's a feature that exist and could have been greatly used against holograms. But oh well.

POST CREDITS SCENE: So Beck was even more shitstain of a person, okay. So his grand plan B was to frame Spider Man, okay. The scene was supposed to make me jump from my seat with WHAAAAT and kickstart thirst for 3rd movie, but... I just stood up and walked straight out of cinema feeling strangely hollow and disappointed. I guess... it wasn't bad movie? I won't try to change the opinion to those who liked it. I look forward to seeing gifs and reading thoughts of those who liked/loved the movie. I might change my mind on some bits. But I waited for this movie so much and in two hours I barely enjoyed maybe about 15 minutes of it and it's something i never expected after adoring homecoming and all the peter scenes in other movies. Maybe it's that they murdered Tony and I lost ability to enjoy marvel movies anymore, maybe it's just that.

(finally, I guess it’s too picky of me to be peeved by this, but science school teenagers coming up with ‘i will always love you’ google search grainy picture tribute video was so anticlimatic it was uncomfortable to watch. There’s nothing hillarious about death of those characters, and it did not lighten the mood at all, it only made me uncomfortable and wrong footed. It’s also not how teenagers novadays make tribute videos.)

#spiderman far from home #far from home #far from home spoilers #spoilers #spiderman spoilers #spiderman #rant galore

[thrashton]

Soaring light (elu, chapter 3)

Name: Soaring Light Fandom: Skam france Pairing: Lucas Lallemant/Eliott Demaury Tags: assassin!au, falling in love, angst, hurt/comfort Summary: Don’t get attached, do not engage in any physical contact… The list of rules were long, but Lucas had never been the one to follow orders. In fact, he might have broken all of them in just a week, all because of the piercing blue eyes staring at him from the assignment in his hands, and the charming, mysterious boy they belonged to. Chapter summary: Lucas thinks Eliott forgot all about him and watch Pirates of the Caribbean a few too many times to pass time.

prologue and chapter one&two can be found at the soaring-light tag at my blog, just click on the tag on this post. tumblr don’t wanna show my post in the search tag if I put in links… and on ao3 with the username thetimeisnow)

- Chapter 3.

When Lucas was 19, he met an older man at the bar. The man was dressed in a long, dark coat and a colorful hat and caught his attention in a second, mostly because of the odd choice of clothing.

The man waved Lucas over to his table, introduced himself and asked what he did for a living. Lucas found nothing weird or uncomfortable with the man’s behaviour, and he was also a bit tipsy.

The man told him he had been at the bar across the street, where Lucas worked at back then, a few times and had seen him him work, interact with customers and dealt different situations in a way he found fascinating. Lucas had never seen him before, but he did love compliments.

He had then asked him what he’d do for money, for a stable life. Lucas had, of course, laughed said anything because honestly, that’s how he felt at that point; had a low-pay job he hated and had to move within two months.

That night, Lucas had slipped a pill into an old man’s drink, having no idea what the pill did. A day later, he saw an article online about the strange death of the same man, and another day passed before he got his first contract sent with the post. He had put two and two together immediately.

After that, there was no way out. At first, he’d been terrified at every police car ringing in the distance, and as he receive his first reminder of his next mission, he realised the old man probably had proof he killed the guy at the bar and he had no other choice than to continue.

But as time and missions went by and he realised he wasn’t going to get caught; he grew comfortable. He was one of his boss’ best employees and well respected in their community. It was rare, for such a young age, he’d been told multiple times.

Therefore, Lucas had no idea why he went around, nervous like a man about to be hung (or something, but that reference was all he could think of after watching all the Pirates of the Caribbean movies three times to keep himself occupied) waiting for Eliott to text him.

Which he hadn’t. It had been four days.

He was scared at first, that he’d get in trouble with his boss, but he had been contacted by his right hand, a middle aged, rich woman from the more beautiful parts of Paris, and she told him that his boss understood the Eliott Demuary case was special and could take time. He had gotten an offer to change contract, but he nicely declined.

No one else could touch Eliott, except for him.

Two days after the bar, he had gotten a new follower on instagram. And nearly fell off the bed. He hesitated for around five hours before finally following Eliott back. He watched the video of his face a few (fifty) more times, considered writing him a DM, but then Yann slapped some sense into him and told him he had to pull himself together.

Lucas was sitting in his couch, phone upside down on his right. On his left side, a few pills were laying nicely on a folded paper. The easiest thing would be to find him in an exposed situation like before; at a bar, a club, a restaurant. The pills took between five hours to one day to work, depending on how many he slipped in the drink. They dissolved with first touch of water and didn’t taste anything which made them very easy to slip into whatever Eliott would be drinking.

He would rather not watch him die. Maybe he should lock himself up for a week or two after poisoning him so he didn’t have to see any newspapers when Paris learnt their favorite model was dead. Lucas swallowed thickly. It would be fine.

Then, his phone buzzed. He was lucky no one was there to watch him, because he threw himself over it in an embarrassingly fast speed.

-

From: Unknown number

Hey

-

Lucas stared at the screen.

-

To: Unknown number

Who’s this?

-

Did he answer too fast? Maybe it was someone who got his number wrong. Maybe it was not Eliott.

-

From: Unknown number

Eliott. You know, the cute one?

-

To: Eliott

I’m not sure I know you.

-

Eliott could read sarcasm, right? Lucas bit his lower lip nervously.

-

From: Eliott

Funny guy ;) sorry it took so long to write. i didn’t know what to say-

-

To: Eliott

So you settled with “hey”?

-

Was he being rude? No. He was being funny, right? What if Eliott found him incredibly boring and decided he wasn’t worth answering?

-

From: Eliott

I’m creative like that. Do you wanna grab coffee with me?

-

To: Eliott

I don’t drink coffee. wanna come over for gaming?

-

Considering how much he’d been alone at home, playing stupid multiplayer games for a long time now, he had to show off his skills to someone.

-

From: Eliott

On the first date? ;) you could’ve just said so x

-

To: Eliott

NOT what I meant!!!!! Fine. Coffee!!

-

Lucas was blushing. And extremely happy no one was there to see it, or hear the shocked gasp that passed his lips as he realised his mistake.

-

From: Eliott

sure ;) two hours?

-

Lucas glanced at the clock on the wall. It was 11am now. Okay, that could work, he just had to shower, dry his hair, get it to stick in place, decide what to wear, cry for a bit, decide how he should kill the guy and preferably spend one hour yelling. It could work.

-

To: Eliott

okay. where?

-

From: Eliott

ill pick you up, be outside ;)

-

Lucas wasn’t a fan of the winky face.

-

To: Eliott

do you know where i live?

-

From: Eliott

haha lucas, be ready in two.

-

To: Eliott

you didnt answer, do you know where i live??

-

Lucas didn’t get any other answer. Great. Fantastic. He glanced down at the pills next to him. A few images flashed in his head from the guy he’d seen fall down on his knees two months back, his last kill. A middle aged white man who had gotten away with raping his own daughter. It was his ex wife, mother of the girl, who wanted him dead.

Lucas obliged. He didn’t even feel the slightest ounce of regret over kills like that, but he couldn’t understand what Eliott could have done to get a price that high on his head. Sure, Lucas didn’t really know the guy, but he still felt in his soul that Eliott could never be capable of doing anything like that. He had seen evil in the eyes of the men he’s killed, but Eliott’s eyes had no trace of it.

Maybe a rival? Someone who wanted his followers, his money? He surely had to be rich. For a rich person, the amount of money put on his head might not be too much. That was probably the case, Lucas thought, he was just overthinking this.

He hesitated a moment, but then he put one pill in a small plastic bag and put it in his pocket. Just in case he got a good opportunity to slip it into his coffee.

Eliott was just on time. Exactly two hours later, his phone vibrated on the table. Lucas was sitting, newly showered, nervous enough he feared his stomach was going to turn upside down and then he’d puke it out. Disgusting.

He stared down at the text.

-

From: Eliott

here

-

It was just one word, but he still felt like he was going to throw up. Okay, he could do this. It wasn’t that bad, it would be fine. It would be great. If he just managed to keep his heart inside his chest until he was downstairs, it would all work out. There was no good explanation to why his legs were shaking as he walked down the stairs, nor why he was sweating more than normal.

It was just a coffee. It was nothing. It was fine.

Eliott was standing, leaning back on the hood on, what Lucas assumed, was his car. A black, newer Audi model; just what Lucas expected from him. It looked fresh, and so did Eliott, hair a beautiful mess on top of his head, a black hoodie under a brown-ish jacket. He stood gazing up in the sky, like he was posing for a shot. Lucas stopped behind the door out, just to look at him for amoment extra.

Eliott hadn’t noticed him yet, he was tapping with his foot on the ground and if Lucas didn’t know better he’d say he looked nervous. Lucas swallowed thickly, giving himself a confident nod and opened the door to step out in the warm weather. Eliott looked up; a sweet, big grin spreading across his face and Lucas almost melted into a pile of despair on the ground.

Fuck. This wasn’t good. His stomach made him feel things that he wasn’t supposed to feel. Like, extreme fucking attraction. Pure, strong and annoyingly exciting attraction.

“Hey”, Eliott said softly.

“Hi.” Lucas stood in front of him, hands in his pockets.

“You look great.”

Lucas watched him for a little too long before replying. “Thanks”, he said awkwardly, “you too.”

Eliott just kept grinning as he gestured over to the door behind him. “Hop in.”

Lucas nodded, “so where are we going?”

Eliott fucking winked. “You’ll see.”

They drove in silence. Well, it wasn’t complete silence because Eliott was blasting loud, extremely horrible music. Lucas wasn’t going to say anything, though, everyone liked what they liked, but he was pretty sure his ears were going to start bleeding at any moment.

They left town, driving down an empty road towards where only empty fields would fill his sight for kilometers. He glanced over at the confident man next to him, one hand on the wheel and knee bouncing up at down in rhythm with the music. This was how people got murdered, Lucas thought, which was funny because he was the last person who should be be nervous about getting murdered since he killed people for a living.

Technically, if he brought a knife, he could just stab Eliott right there. No one would notice. If he burnt the body, took the bones and set the car on fire, he’d be good to go.

It would be a waste, though, because Eliott looked hot. Leaning back against his seat, sunglasses on, hair in a mess and singing along to the few words his terrible music was producing; Lucas couldn’t stop staring. He couldn’t understand how he went to the same school as this guy and never even saw him, or even knew this walking piece of art breathed the same, sweaty school air.

Eliott glanced at him and Lucas looked away. The beautiful sound of Eliott’s loud laugh filled the air and made his music sound even worse. What was even happening with him, why was he like this? Who was he?

What the hell was he doing to Lucas?

Eliott parked next to what looked like an empty barn, the first building they’d seen for a good fifteen minutes, but it was recently painted in a beautiful red color. Lucas thought he could hear the clinking of glass from inside. Eliott turned off the music and stepped out of the car without a word, and gestured Lucas towards the front of the building.

“What’s this place?”

“The best café in France”, Eliott said proudly.

A few cherry trees were randomly placed on the short side of the building, and outside the barn door, a big, white dog was lying. He lifted his head lazily when he saw them arriving, but made no effort to greet them more than a slow wag of his fluffy tail. Lucas loved dogs. Just the sight of the beautiful white giant made his heart skip a beat.

“That’s Maxie”, Eliott pointed, “he’s supposed to be guarding but he’s not very good at his job.”

“He’s adorable”, Lucas grinned, “hi, buddy.” He ran his fingers through the soft fur. The dog closed his eyes and huffed out a breath. “What breed is this?”

“Slovensky cuvac”, Eliott replied, “or something like that.”

Lucas was sure his eyes were shaped like hearts as he glanced up at Eliott. “Wow. Okay, what does this place got to offer?”

Eliott opened the big wooden door. Lucas threw a last glance around the beautiful landscape, the big, empty fields and the slim dirty road leading up to the bar, before entering.

The inside was just as impressive. Another big, white dog was sleeping under a weirdly placed chair just next to them as they stepped in, and in front of them, what looked like an old stable without horses, showed the way to another door. The walls were filled with old paintings of women in dresses and men in armor and surrounded by beautiful nature, and a few paintings of animals. He recognized racoons, cats, foxes and a few unidentified species, but they were cute either way.

Eliott pointed towards one of them. “I painted them.”

Lucas raised his brows, “really?”

The proud smile on his face told Lucas he was absolutely telling the truth. “Yep!”

“They’re good”, he said, nodding encouraging.

“You think so?” Eliott asked, his voice genuinely surprised.

“Yeah, absolutely!” Lucas agreed because it was the truth. He’d definitely buy one. “Maybe you can make me one.”

Eliott stopped mid step, watching at him closely. Lucas shifted, thinking he said something bad. “What?”

“Hedgehog”, Eliott said and laughed softly, “that’s what I’d make you.”

Lucas raised his brows. “I’m a hedgehog?”

Eliott huffed, “yes. I’ll paint you something and you’ll see. Now, come on!” He grabbed Lucas arm, wrapping his fingers around his wrist and ran down the old stable. Lucas felt like a disney princess, and he was absolutely loving it.

Behind he next door, a small, cute café opened up. With only five tables, Lucas realised this was probably only for the need-to-know-guests, and not just anyone. A third, big white dog of the same breed was lying under one the table, raising his head when they entered. He barked. A deep, loud sound.

To the left the counter was placed, different buns and creations were piled up to show off the different options to eat. Footsteps were heard, and a blonde head looked out through the door leading in to what Lucas guessed was the kitchen.

“Eliott!” the lady exclaimed happily and hurried around the counter to greet them. “It’s good to see you! Didn’t hear you come in, dogs didn’t react!”

“They like me now”, Eliott laughed and hugged her. “Lucas, this is Alison. Alison, this is Lucas.”

The blonde beauty, Alison, grinned at him with white teeth. She reached up and kissed his cheek “Hi! Nice to meet you. Are you the boyfriend?”

Lucas stared at her, stuttering out an embarrassing whiny sound. “Wha- no. No, I’m not- what? No.”

She laughed loudly, holding her hands up in defense. Eliott was grinning too. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume. What can I get you?”

“Hot chocolate”, Lucas said dumbfoundedly.

“And two cheesecake, lemon. Please?” Eliott gestured towards the table for two closest to the big window the room. Lucas sat down without another word, which was probably for the best since he was incredibly talented in embarrassing himself.

Eliott filled a glass of water and followed him, sliding down on his chair and resting his face in his hands. God, what an actual angel sent from heaven, Lucas thought, how was he going to kill this guy? Just as the thought passed through his head, Eliott excused himself to the bathroom and left him alone. Lucas stared at the water glass in front of him.

Just slip the pills in. They’ll dissolve, no one will ever know and he’d be dead within 24 hours. Just put the pills in, get the money and forget about Eliott Demaury and his stupid, perfect smile and his soft hair he so badly wanted to run his fingers through.

Just slip the pills in the glass.

But Lucas couldn’t. He could only stare, stare for how many minutes it took for Eliott to come back in the room, give a half-hearted greeting and sit down again. Lucas continued to stare at the lost opportunity and did his best to ignore the growing lump in his throat.

“So”, Eliott smiled, bringing his attention back to reality, “tell me about yourself.”

#Yay sorry for the wait #skam france #skam france fanfic #soaring light #elu fanfic #skam france fic #elu #lucas lallemant #eliott demaury

[meadowlarkkitties]

supermidnightqueen asked:

*comes in with Brassy (MY brassbitty), edge (my coral), Knight (my king), Soul (my Chain), Honey (my Honey bo), and le roi (my mamba).* Hi! I heard from vex that you just opened shop! i wanted to look around and see what caught my boys intrest before picking one, if thats okay.

meadowlarkkitties answered:

Meadow smiled brightly when you walked in with your own bitties, she didn’t see other types too much these days since she spent her time here at the shop making sure the kitties were well taken care of. Greeting you first before she praised each of the bitties in turn, making sure to compliment them all heavily. “Miss Vex is a lovely person, thank you for coming over to see us.” Meadow’s smile was bright and welcoming as she gestured you into the adoption center. “Oh of course, the kitties do like when visitors spend some time getting to know them.” She smiled as Clove hopped down from a high catwalk onto her shoulders. “I’m Meadowlark and this is my Papysynnian, Clove.” She reached up to rub the side of his skull earning her a purr. “Please come on in everyone, sit down. Would you like something to drink? Or a snack?” As the group of you all sat down some of the more outgoing felines batted at lamia tails gently or peeked over the arms of the couches at the snake bitties and their owner. A Boss Coon the first to jump up and sit close to you, folding his forepaws and swaying his fluffy tail. A Russian Blueberry peeking at your Mamba with wide eyes, admiring the shine on his scales and he reached out very tentatively, eyes looking up at the mamba for permission to touch. A Honey Fold hopped down from a cat walk above to sit on the arm of the couch, watching curiously from a distance while a Redimese flat refused to get close to any of the snakes yet, eyeing the group from beside Meadowlark. “So what kind of companion are you looking for?” “Clearly they are feline up for a furry companion.” A sansapura smirked as he appeared next to your King, grinning wickedly and expecting groans. He got them as a Papysynnian hopped up next to him and shoved the Sansapura to the floor with a scolding look.

supermidnightqueen

I giggled as knight and soul began petting a few of the kittybitties. “well, i honestly enjoy all types of bitties. But i was hoping to find a bitty that my bois and brassy would feel conformable around, are comfortable around my boys, and at the same time willing to help out soul when it comes to my disorders.” I moved Le Roi to my shoulder as honey slithered behind me. “I know i’ll have a bit of a hard time choosing. i am glad that the adorable kittys have agreed to meet with me.”  brassy was looking out of a pocket in my shirt at the kittybitties in awe

“You may touch” Le Roi hisses at the Russian Blueberry from my shoulder. Knight started petting sansapura as Soul waved to the Honeyfold and Redimese in greeting.

@meadowlarkkitties

meadowlarkkitties

@supermidnightqueen More of the less shy felines quickly piled around Knight and Soul, leaning into the pettings and purring at differing volumes. They were quite enjoying the attention and were not shy about letting that be known, even the Redimese giving in and surrendering to some pettings himself. “Oh I can understand that completely, when it comes to things like that I will make a suggestion that a Papysynnian, Boss Coon, or a Russian Blueberry make fine additions to large groups of bitties and are among our more helpful felines when it comes to such things.” Meadow offered gently, not pushing any one breed but those three were known for being far more intune to their owners and other around them. It was one of the reasons she had Clove, he helped tremendously with her own issues.

As the two spoke the Boss Coon puffed up that his type had been recommended, of course they would. The fluffy cats, while a bit of an ego trip, were very balance felines in their own high opinion. The blueberry’s eyes sparkled with joy when Le Roi allowed him to touch the gleaming scales, his fingers moving over the sheen of them with a gentle, admiring quality. “So pretty.” The praise was instant and genuine, the feline having never seen lamias before, especially lamias with such brilliant scales.

supermidnightqueen

@meadowlarkkitties

“Thissss one” Le Roi hisses as he preened from the praised that the russian blueberry gave him. I laughed quietly as knight and soul clearly liked a boss coon and papysynnian each.

“it seems that they are quite taken with those kittys. they are quite beautiful” I said as edge move to ‘accidently’ pet the redimese.

“if i cant decide, do you mind if i take all three? I have a feeling that knight and le roi might put up a little bit of sulking and puppy eyes to get the kitty they want.” I stated with a sigh but smiled.

meadowlarkkitties

The Blueberry’s eyes grew wide when the mamba declared that he wanted him and he wiggled happily, the bell on his scarf chiming softly as he did. He moved carefully closer to the Mamba, still looking at the gleaming scales with an admiring look. The Boss Coon fluttered his thickly furred tail as he was pet, his purr a low rumble and he relaxed into the arms that held him, quite content. As for the Papysynnian, he was much louder in his own purring, his long tail swinging happily as he leaned into every pet given to him. “Oh not at all, in my opinion the more cats the merrier but I may be a little biased.” Meadow grinned and pet Clove’s head softly. The Redimese glanced at Edge touched him, his ears perking just a bit and he made a harumph sound before shifting his body ever so subtly towards the petting, not that he liked it or anything. Ha, as if. Still, his tail did swing towards the coral, coming to rest along his own by TOTAL ACCIDENT.

supermidnightqueen

I giggled behind my hands as i watched the redimese and edge. it was just too funny.

“ anyways” I said through my giggles as i ran my hand along the boss coon “I just need-” honey cut me off by draping himself over me. “Honey noooo! I need to decide”

“dont care, your warm and comfy” Honey hissed.

meadowlarkkitties

Meadowlark smiled over at the two fell type bitties as they “begrudgingly” tolerated the other’s company, the Boss lifting his back into the petting as his fluffy tail coiled around your wrist loosely. “Decisions are tough.” She laughed softly at the antics of all the bitties, eyes soft and loving as she reached into a basket filled with blankets and offered it to Honey as he draped over your form. The Redimese blushed slightly and looked away from you when you noticed how close he was to Edge, shoving his hands in his pockets and tucking his head into the fluff of his hood a bit.

supermidnightqueen

honey took the offered blanket and draped it over himself, covering my face in the process. Le Roi snickered at my misfortune. edge pretended not to notice that he was still petting the redimese. knight and soul were cuddling the kitties.brassy giggled a bit.

“honey not the face!”  I laughed as i tried to move the blanket out of my face. honey winked at meadow. “sssssssshes the trouble maker ssssometimessss and needssss to ssssleep more than an hour” honey hissed in amusement. the other lamias nodded

“Hey! dont gang up on me!” I totally didnt pout under the blanket.

meadowlarkkitties

Meadowlark’s face scrunched up in amusement as Honey winked at her, Clove shaking his head a bit but you could see he also found it funny. The Blueberry leaned up on the very tips of his paws to try and uncover your face helpfully, however he wasn’t all that tall so was a bit of a chore for the guy. Giving up he sat in your lap and waved to Brassy before going back to admiring Le Roi’s scales. “Only an hour? Oh my oh my. I think a nap is in order than.” Meadow exaggerated her tones as she spoke and Clove pawed at his owner.

“Don’t be mean, Meddie.” He huffed and you stuck your tongue out at the cat. The redimese watched the goings on curiously, still sitting beside Edge. He lowered himself so he could stretch his legs out behind him, folding his forepaws and somehow ending up resting right up against the coral lamia. “are they always like this?” he questioned idly, crimson eye lights a bit confused by the antics but interested.

supermidnightqueen

“I-i think so” brassy said as he watched. “honey only recently started teaseing Midnight like this” knight said as he petted the Papysynnian. I managed to get the blanket off my face with a pout. “i dont need a nap” I then started to sulk and pet the russian blue berry and the boss coon. Le Roi started to pose to show off his scales.

meadowlarkkitties

The redimese made a show of scoffing but he did find the camaraderie appealing in a way, absently he reached one hand out to run his fingertips along the coral’s scales. The Papysynnian leaned into Knight’s hands with each pet, The blueberry also leaned into your hands as you began to pet him. Meadowlark cooed praise and admiration at Le Roi, such a handsome lamia deserved it after all.  Clove flopping on his side to bat at a toy that happened to be laying on the couch. This was nice and relaxed, Meadow found herself rather enjoying the banter of the lamias and their owner. “Teasing is how my people show affection so I would take it as a compliment.” Meadow smiled and winked at Honey.

supermidnightqueen

honey chuckled then noticed the look on my face and look at knight “you gotta say it knight” he said in amusement. Knight scowled and shook his head. Le Roi preened from the attention. Edge hummed softly that way he could deny it.

“Say it knight” I said with laughter sparkling in my eyes

meadowlarkkitties

Meadowlark blinked as they kept asking the king to say something specific, her fox like ears lifting from her hair for the first time and she tilted her head curiously. “Say it?” she questioned, her fingers reaching into her pockets, pulling out a shiny coin of Fae currency and offered it to Edge with a smile. She knew their affinity for shiny objects. Turning her eyes back to the Mamba she resumed offering compliments and praise as she waited to see what the others were talking about.

supermidnightqueen

edge snatched the coin and hid it in his jacket. knight repetedly shook his head as i kept telling him to ‘say it’. honey was giggling and le roi slithered other to meadow and perched in her lap. chain was helping me pressure knight in to ‘saying it’.

meadowlarkkitties

She smiled at the coral when he hid the coin away, the redimese watching in amusement. Shiny things interested him but unlike the lamias they weren’t prone to collecting them, however foil balls would never be safe. Meadow’s fingers stroked along Le Roi’s scales gently, her touch almost massaging. Reaching back into her pocket she pulled out a microfiber cloth and began to gently polish the mamba’s scales. The Blueberry started to chant “say it” as well, not knowing what he was pushing for but wanting to join in with everyone else. The Boss Coon did not join in on the chant, but he was curious, though the Papysynnian looked up at Knight curiously.

supermidnightqueen

“knight if you dont say it i will use the puppy eyes on you” i said with laughter in my tone. le roi began to hum happily. knight began to sulk.

“besssst sssay it and get it over with knight” chain said in amusement.

meadowlarkkitties

Meadow watched you and your bitties with interest, tilting her head curiously a she continued to polish Le Roi’s scales till the gleamed in even the dimmest light? How did she do that. Maaaaaaaagic.

“what do they want him to say?” the redimese blinked a few times, kinda feeling bad for the poor knight, the Papysynnian petting the king’s arm before rolling over on his back and swaying his paws at him to try and cheer him up. That’s a papysynnian for ya.

supermidnightqueen

knight sighed before picking up the papysynnian like the monkey did with simba in lion king then said” This Child Is Too presious for thei crule crule world. I must hide him away for all of eturnity!” Me and honey started to giggle.

meadowlarkkitties

The Papysynnian’s legs swung easily as he was hoisted by the King, blinking at the others in a confused manner before he craned his head to look back at Knight. As the words were uttered the Redimese facepalmed, totally not to hide his chuckling, and Meadow snickered loudly.

“Oh my…” She managed between giggles, resuming her petting of Le Roi as the Blueberry snickered loudly. “Well you do seem well suited to protecting him from the evils of the world, Knight.”

supermidnightqueen

Le Roi snickered as i somehow managed to slip out of honeys grip and fell to the floor with laughter.knight blushes lightly before shifting papysynnian to he was holding him comfortably.soul slither over and checked it i was injered from my fall. honey had caught blueberry before he fell with me.

meadowlarkkitties

Meadowlark smiled as the group laughed softly, the blueberry smiling at Honey as he caught him before he hit the floor. He would have landed on his feet but he appreciated the sentiment and grinned up at Honey with bright stars in his eyes. “Thanks!” The Papysynnian smiled up at the Knight, clearly enamoured. “I thought it was great.” He offered with a bright expression, hoping to ease the lamia’s embarrassment.

supermidnightqueen

knight smiled and scratched the papysynnian back gently. “no problem” honey hissed with a chuckle. I was currently trying to warn off a mother hen. “soul im fine stop” I said while trying to pushing him away. he only kept checking for wounds. Le Roi laughed at my misfortune.

meadowlarkkitties

It was nice to see how much your lamias cared about you, clearly you were all very close knit and it made the puca smile. Offering her free hand to you to help you off the floor so that your chain would worry less, she kept stroking along Le Roi’s scales with a gentle firmness. The fae was honestly rather fond of snakes, and had often wished to have the ability to shift to them… if only to startle her friends. “Don’t worry Soul, the center has fae magic built into it, even if the fall had caused injury the essences within these walls would have began to heal it immediately.” she offered with a warm smile, the cats made a habit of jumping from the top cat walks often so she had to protect their tiny legs somehow. “One of the precautions I took due to the daredevil nature of cats.”

supermidnightqueen

I grabbed your hand and got up “thanks meadow!” I said happily. chain smiled and nodded a bit in understanding.

“im guessing that it happened quite often?” knight asked. Le Roi hissed contently as edge seemed to have fallen asleep.

meadowlarkkitties

“You’re very welcome.” Her response was bright and she glanced over at Knight when he asked his question. “Unfortunately, the young kittens like to think they are invincible and after many many accidents involving broken legs I had to do something to make it safer. Taking down the catwalks would have put the whole community in here in an uproar.” She laughed softly, glancing over at Edge and the Redimese, who were curled up together and sleeping. “It was quite the problem.” Clove offered from his spot laying beside his owner. “The Blueberries and the Papysynnians are so energetic as kittens that we had to make sure they were safe as they play, and young Sansapura are fairly clumsy.” He offered, the Papysynnian in Knights’ arms nodding his head in agreement.

supermidnightqueen

I took out my phone and took a picture of the redimese and edge. “i dont think edge will let me leave without the redimese” I stated in amusement. honey handed the Blueberry into my arms and soul picks up the boss coon.knight still help the papysynnian

meadowlarkkitties

She smiled at the coral and redimese curled up together, it was a cute scene and she had a soft spot for the fell types in general. Glancing over at you she laughed. “To be honest, I don’t think the redimese will let you leave without him either.” she observed as the feline lifted his head slightly in his sleep lean it on Edge’s shoulder, purring quietly. She folded her arms and shook her head in amusement. “Shall I get some paperwork for you than?” Meadow looked over at Clove who saluted and jumped over the back of the couch, towards her desk.

supermidnightqueen

I sighed in amusement. “please” i laughed softly “i come in here for one kitty and i leave with four” soul chuckled along with knight. LE Roi slithered off meadows lap and back over to me. “who’s gonna wake the sleepy boys?” I didnt show it but i was exsausted.

meadowlarkkitties

Clove returned a few minutes later with a small pile of papers and a pen, Meadow taking it from him as he scurried of for one of the clipboards. As she waited for the feline to return she laughed. “As I said, the more kitties the better in my opinion, it happens more times then you would realize around here.” She took the clipboard when Clove returned and began to fill out the majority of the paperwork for you, handing it over when all that was needed was a signature. She tried to do most of the work for people who came in. Turning to Edge and the redimese she smiled and reached out to draw a finger along the Redimese’s back before doing the same to Edge. Leaning close she whispered. “Time to wake up and go home you two.” She kept her voice low so as not to startle them but kept away from the reach of claws. She wasn’t dumb. The redimese’s legs stretched out, claws flexing in the air as he yawned and opened one eye groggily. “home?” He was confused clearly. She nodded and glanced over at you, he followed your gaze curiously. “really?” His voice was shocked, hoping that it wasn’t some joke. Not that you ever pranked the kitties so meanly.

supermidnightqueen

I smiled as i signed the paperwork before looking at the redimese “yes, im taking you, boss coon, russian blueberry and papysynnian home with me and my boys” i smiled happily but my grip tightened slightly on the pen to keep it from slipping out of my hand.

“After you ssssleep” hissed soul “I can feel that your exsausting yourself again midnight”

“I’ll be fine soul” I stated with a smile. the other lamias looked at each other.

meadowlarkkitties

Meadowlark smiled a bit, taking in your weariness with an appraising eye. She walked to a small fridge and pulled out a bottle of cold water, as she walked back she focused her essence into the water, small bursts of misty vapors escaping her mouth as she did. Offering the bottle of water to Soul she smiled. “This will help with her exhaustion till she gets home, promise it’s perfectly safe for humans to drink.” The redimese was still a bit surprised, sitting up slowly and glancing at Edge then at the other lamias. “Please be careful on your way home, Meddie’s essence is potent but it’s not a cure for lack of sleep.” Clove offered and smiled up at you with a cheerful expression. “And you all are welcome in at any time if you want to visit, perhaps I can get some of my herbalist friends to make you a tea to help?” Meadow offered gently, she could tell you were quite worn out and she took back the clipboard and pen once you were done so that you wouldn’t accidently drop it. Smiling gently she offered her hand again, ready to walk you out. “If you need anything, please do call or drop by.”

supermidnightqueen

“thank you meadow” I said softly as soul handed me the bottle of water before drinking it. honey handed the blanket back to her as soul shifted his hold on the boss coon.” and thank you for letting adopt these four beautiful boys”

#Kittybitty adoptions

[inevitably-johnlocked]

I'm a bit embarrassed to ask this. Have you ever read a fic that, stylistically, it's beautiful, linguistically it's tight, and it's obvious the author poured their whole self into constructing the plot, crafting the world, and nailing down the characterizations, but... You just don't get it? Like, perhaps there's some insight you're missing, and it's almost there, you think maybe you're close to getting what the author is trying to portray, but you just can't make the connection necessary?

(Embarrassed nonny continued) You even reread to make sure you didn’t skip anything, but it’s like it just seems that something missing? Or that you’re the one missing something vital? So you go to the comments to see if anyone else is confused, but all you see are lovely, supportive compliments about how beautiful the story is (and it is), or how heartwrenching it is (usually so). But you seem to be the only one not getting it?

(Embarrassed nonny cont. again) Is it destructive to let the author know that I think a story is beautiful in it’s telling, but that I don’t quite understand it? I don’t want to offend the author, who has clearly worked very hard, and I appreciate them so much. But, I want to understand the story they’re telling, even if I’m the only one not getting it. If that even makes any sense. P.S.- thanks for always taking time to listen to fandom woes and fielding requests. You’re a champion! ❤

Hi Nonny!

First of all, there’s nothing for you to be embarrassed about! Stories are partly about authorial intent, and partly about reader interpretation; no two people will interpret a story the same, and no author SHOULD expect a reader to interpret their story exactly as the author intended. SHERLOCK is a perfect example of this (the writers SAY they meant it to be one thing and literally the ENTIRE FANDOM is divided on what’s actually being shown on screen), or if you want to be more classical, the works of Shakespeare as well.

In fact, Shakespeare is a perfect example of your problem: I love Shakespeare: it’s beautifully written, it sounds lovely to the ear, and it invokes imagery based on how someone interprets it. But I sure as heck have NO idea what I read until someone explained it to me, or how I SHOULD have interpreted it (which, is oxymoronic to my point, I know…). Only after I hear how someone else interpreted the work, I can then RE-READ a work and begin to understand what was meant by it, and then develop my own interpretations. 

I’ve read a few fics by a couple authors in this fandom where I LOVED their writing, but I had NO idea what was happening until I re-read the fics… it’s a reading comprehension thing with me, I’m sure (my brain tends to move a bit quicker than I can read and talk, and in turn it also tends to wander when my eyes aren’t going fast enough, LOL), but a lot of times, if I just read a fic a second time I can then grasp the words my brain omitted the first time and then really enjoy and love the fic. I hate that about me, but that’s how my brain works… Perhaps it may be the same with your brain? If a fic is well written and you enjoyed it but just had some comprehension issues, perhaps a second read-through will help you as it has done with me :)

So, now to answer your question: if after reading a fic, and you don’t understand it, is it okay to ask the authorial intent of the story? Unfortunately, there is no yes-or-no answer to this question, Lovely, as every author is different. Personally – and this is just for me speaking, and what I would do or what I would not mind if I were the author – I think it’s alright, so long as you are respectful to them! Dig around their user pages and you can often find ways to interact with the author outside of their fics, or information about whether or not they want to read criticism etc. on their stories. If an author doesn’t want any interaction, they’ll be very clear about it, but most authors have ways to get in touch with them, so to ME that’s a saying “hey, if you have any questions, here’s how to get a hold of me!”. 

If they have a Tumblr with asks turned on, you can even do it like you have done for me here; write exactly what you mentioned, just tweak a few things: Mention how much you love their prose and their storytelling, and you can really feel how much love they put into the story. You found it interesting, though you’re unclear on a few parts. Ask them kindly how they intended for an audience to read it. Many creators appreciate honesty when talking about their works, so just be honest and say that you didn’t understand something and wouldn’t mind a bit of clarification about something. They can’t fault you for not understanding something, and if they do, well… I find that rather ableist, in my opinion: That’s like telling someone with dyslexia to just stop mixing up letters, or someone who’s native language isn’t English to just learn one of the most complex languages in the world with so many structure rules that make no sense half the time…. *shrugs* It’s harsh of me to say, I am sorry about that, writers, but reading comprehension doesn’t come easily for everyone.

ANYWAY, back to my point: An author, so long as you are respectful (and maybe peppering in some compliments and praise never hurts either… a lot of us creative-types have praise kinks) and don’t throw a backhanded compliment (like don’t say: “Your work is so amazing! Though I think you should make it easier for people to understand it, your words are too complex”), they will be more than happy to write out their intent for the story. Let them know it’s YOU who’s not understanding (so, “I have trouble understanding this part” as opposed to “you should make this work easier to read for everyone”… make the onus on YOU). DON’T be demanding (like, don’t say something that can be interpreted as “it’s YOUR responsibility to cater to MY need to understand”), and be patient for a reply.

You can see why this isn’t an easy yes-or-no answer, LOL. 

Essentially, kindness begets kindness, and respect begets respect. And –  this isn’t an attack on you personally with regards to this ask, because I know my audience are adorably shy beans – it might be a show of good faith and intentions to stay off anon when you ask your question; it shows the author that you aren’t being malicious, just simply a smol bean who loves stories and want to learn more about theirs. BUT, it IS okay to stay on-anon if you are shy / worried about not the author but other people interpreting it the wrong way, just make sure you tailor your question to the author in a respectful way that it comes across as respect. Perhaps something like this:

Hi, [author]! I really love your story, [story title]! It’s well-written and I can really tell how much you love this story and how much soul you put into it. I just had a question for you with regards to [name concern here]. [state question here]. I have trouble sometimes with [reading comprehension, English/language, dyslexia, etc.], and I would love to know what your ideas and thought process was for [character, plot point, situation, etc.]. Understanding what the author intended really helps me enjoy the stories even more than I already did, and your thoughts would be really helpful for when I re-read your story! Thank you so much for your time, and thank you for blessing us with this beautiful story!

Or something like that, LOL. And if you genuinely aren’t a native-language speaker, let them know that it’s not your first language so you’re just honestly not grasping a colloquialism that’s common in English but not in, say, German. It’s more common than you think! I’ve had people ask me in private before about a phrase I’ve written or about how they should interpret a meta of mine; I’ve never taken insult upon it, and in fact I love helping people understand my work so that they can enjoy other peoples’ content in the future.��

As an additional thought I just had, I think a good example of fandom-understanding-authors is, actually, the @johnlockficclub; every couple months or so we read new stories, and then at the end of the story, we ask authors our questions about their intent of the stories, and in turn the author gets an interesting (I hope) insight into how various people interpreted their stories. Even during the live-chats leading up to the author q-and-a, we all see how we each interpreted certain sections of the chapters we read that week, and see various viewpoints we never considered. So I think that is a wonderful way to see authorial intent vs. reader interpretation, and as far as I know, all the authors we’ve “interviewed” loved just getting that kind of feedback for their stories. You should join in on at least the author interviews just to see how they go and give you some ideas on how an author will take feedback. It’s so fascinating to me!

Just a fun little anecdote that oftentimes, it is a positive experience for an author because most of them love to talk about their stories – their stories are their children, and they care deeply for them, because it’s a part of them, and it’s an expression of their love. They WANT you to understand and enjoy their work. It’s a cyclical thing: if you understand their children so you can love them too, then they will love their fanbase and will want to continue to write since they received feedback that was validating to them that they produce work that people enjoy and want to know more about. 

Finally, I’d love for some authors to weigh in on their thoughts about this; would you be offended if someone loved your story but would want your clarification on some things, or want to know how you intended for the audience to perceive it? Please let us know!

Sorry this answer was so long, but I hope it helps!

P.S. Aww, you’re far too kind, Nonny! me. XD

#steph replies #my advice #fan fiction #authorial intent vs reader interpretation #my thoughts #Anonymous

[pastelastronomy24]

Laid Up— Erik Killmonger x Plus Size! Poc Reader

Part 2

Warnings: Honestly y’all this probably still ain’t shit but it’s what y’all wanted🤷🏾‍♀️; Erik is still THAT nigga; Canes

One thing that everyone and their mama knew about Erik Stevens was that he was astonishingly good at making promises he couldn’t keep. He always got away with it because well, he could pierce the souls (and punanis) of anyone he wanted, and he damn well knew that. “Yeah baby I’ll text you later tonight” and “I swear you not just a one time pipe Ma” and of course “I’ll pick you up later today” we’re his most popular fuck nigga phrases that he never followed up on. “Damn he really was hitting it like I was his forever and shit” was the most popular response.

You didn’t expect him to come pick you up and take you to Canes, you suspected that the extra money he gave you was because he definitely wasn’t going to come back. After all, you’d never really talked to this nigga for more than five seconds until a couple of hours ago. Why would he switch up just because you slayed his hair? You’d been on your phone, scrolling through black twitter when you heard a knock on your door. You didn’t think much of it because staying at your parents house for a couple of weeks you noticed that your mom really loved to order weird shit off of amazon. However as you opened the door, half paying attention phone in hand and head down expecting to see a package, you were greeted to fresh black and blue J’s. You froze and your eyes trailed up to see THAT nigga smirking at your door.

“Why you look shocked to see me Ma? I told you I was gonna pull up” he was cheesing as if he really said something clever and you scoffed. “Nigga you and I both know you’ve never kept an ‘I’m gonna pull up’ promise in your life. I most definitely was not ready for you to pull up.” He laughed and again it was like his laugh commanded the whole room. “Can’t a nigga try new things?” He was definitely trying to play games with you as he said this and immediately looked you up and down while biting his lip and caressing his beard. Your eyes focused on his entirety too sexy lips and you mumbled out something along the lines of “Come in”.

He looked around your house acting as if he was interested in the old pictures on your wall when you told him you were going to get dressed. “But you gon’ let me come with you?” He asked trying to be sly but it absolutely didn’t work. “No sit your bum ass down fool I’ll be back in 5 minutes” you smacked your teeth and walked towards your room. As you walked away you could hear Erik say “That attitude needs to get piped out of you” and you rolled your eyes trying to not think about Erik piping you senseless.

You changed out of your grey sweats into some black jean shorts and a yellow BROCKHAMPTON shirt. You slid on your converse and walked outside. “Damn it really did only take 5 minutes.” Erik nodded in approval and did a dramatic hand gesture towards the door. “Bringeth your fluffy ass on princess.” He said in a weird accent that you were sure was his awful attempt at being British. Despite your best efforts not to, you chuckled and told him to walk his goofy ass to the car.

The car ride was going well, he had some unsurprisingly good music tastes and as you rode to Canes, you found yourselves reminiscing about old summer bops like Kirko Bangz ‘Drink In My Cup’ and Wales ‘Lotus Flower Bomb’. You started to talk about that feeling of when a song comes on and then suddenly you get flashbacks of sitting at a cook out, or just that weird surge of memories and he jumped in excitement claiming that he’d been experiencing that a lot lately since he’d been home. Some time during the car ride Erik’s hand found itself on your thigh and you found yourself not calling him a “hoe ass nigga” or telling him to move his hand, and it was left unspoken in the car as you both continued talking about Life and music.

You arrived at Canes and got out the car. “You wanna eat here or you just want me to order and drop you off at your crib?” He crinkled his eyebrows at you expectantly. Something (the logical part inside of you) screamed at you, urging you to tell him to order and go, but the nonsensical side of you said “We can just chill here and eat..... if that’s okay with you.” He smirked and opened the door to the restaurant. “After you princess.” He said and you could feel the smugness oozing off of him in waves at the fact that you didn’t shoot him down. Walking in you told him to order you a 3 piece box to which he responded “Nah you gettin the 4, you know your ass did not come here for just a 3 piece, that shit don’t fill me up.” You found yourself rolling your eyes at Erik for the 29th time and just said okay.

When you finally got your food, time seemed to pass slowly with Erik. You were more focused on his in depth analysis of how the BET awards hadn’t been good since 2014 and how he somehow made this seem like a fucking Thesis paper than you were on your chicken. “I don’t know man, 2Chainz hasn’t been poppin since then and it’s a little suspect that August Alsina disappeared after then is all I’m saying” he said raising his arms up in a type of “thats none of my business” way. “Yeah I get what you mean. FED’s watchin was my shit. I don’t know it’s like the awards got over hyped and the only good thing since then has been the New Edition movie.” That got him really hype as you guys spent 20 minutes talking about how everything about the cast and the movie itself was black excellence. The night went on a lot like that and when you both had finally finished your chicken you decided to go, throwing your food away and continuing your conversation outside.

“OH! I forgot to mention, please please pleeease don’t forget to lay your edges and put a durag on every night or you’ll mess up your hair. And put some oil in your scalp so you don’t get dandruff or anything, it’ll ruin the look.” Erik chuckled and came closer to you, invading your 2 feet of personal space. He placed his thumb on your cheek and really looked at you. His eyes burrowed into yours and everything felt entirely too intense and too real. “Thanks for the tips Ma, expect me to pull up in two weeks for a touch up.” He said it so close to you that his breath was in your face and you could see every little detail of his face. The light glow from the street lights made his face look ethereal and almost unreal. “Yeah whatever nigga. I charge more each visit.” His smile got impossibly larger as he laughed again. “Your little fluffy ass is cute, even with this attitude you got princess.” Oh how you wish you were as bold as the nigga standing in front of you. Maybe it would make the pounding in your heart and the flutter in your stomach less unbearable. “It’s late. Let me get you back home.” He said as he stepped away from you and walked to the car.

The car ride may not have been as enthusiastic as before, maybe due to the itis you both developed or the tension that wafted in the car, but it was still enjoyable. He had on a playlist which consisted of everything from New Edition and Boyz || Men to old school Drake as you guys talked about nothing. His hand also mysteriously found itself back on your thigh, this time rubbing patterns on it and gripping you just a little tighter when he hit a sharp left or right.

All good things did have to come to an end though as Erik approached your driveway. “It was fun Ma.” Erik said simply as he looked at you. You sighed and unbuckled your seatbelt trying not to show the disappointment on your face as you had to go home. This facade didn’t work though as Erik made a groaning noise and grabbed your chin. “Don’t look so sad baby girl, I’ll be back before you know it. I think I enjoy being around you, attitude and all.” He reassured you and he gave you one last lingering look before unlocking the door. You opened the passenger door and before you walked out you whispered “Thanks for pulling through, even though you are an annoying ass nigga.” He smiled an all teeth type of smile as you shuffled into your house and locked the door.

“Until next time princess.”

—————

PART 3

@killmongersgurl @killmoncoochie @texasbama @purple-apricots @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @muse-of-mbaku @504queen

ALSO SOME OF THE TAGS DIDNT WORK IM SO SORRY.

#marvel #black panther #erik stevens #erik killmonger x plus size reader #erik killmonger x poc reader #erik killmonger x reader #killmonger #plus size reader #plus size imagine #black reader #poc reader #Killmonger Tingz

[joonie-beanie]

This turned our longer than expected so sorry💙 OK here is my rant: first of all i know what I'm going to say doesn't apply to every person who has sex, a minor or not. My views on sex are a bit old fashioned and I know that and I don't want people to say that times have changed, I'm 18 and I know what everything is like with our generation. The main thing that I want to rant about is people rushing into sex. 1/6

I often see people of all ages talking about having sex on a first date or in a week of a new relationship, I see why people might be into that and understand, but then I think about it, is it really worth it? Is it really worth giving something so personal and intimate to a person who you don't much about, who you don't know whether they actually care for you as a person and as a soul and not as a another person to fuck. Sex, in my opinion, is not meant to be only to persue pleasure. 2/6

I see it as a far more intimate thing that you only share with a very special person, that you feel connected with on every level before connecting with them sexually. Me and my boyfriend have been dating since we were 12, and it took us 6 years to do anything sexual with each other. Yes it was a bit frustrating going through puberty and having that relief in that side of it, but I swear it was fucking worth it. 3/6

The frustration of six years of wanting to touch him and hold him close to me vanished the night we first did it. It was amazing and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Now everytime we do it, it sends us sky high. When we took our relationship to the next level, I wasnt scared because I already knew if he wan in it for the sex he would have left ages ago, but he didn't. And having that trust and security in him when we did it, it was perfect. 4/6

Made each other feel loved in every way. The reason why I'm saying this is because your virginty and sexuality is far much more important than giving it to a random person. I wish everyone could have the same experience as I did. I understand that people get furstrated and want some kind of relief, but honestly no sex beats sex with someone who you know loves you to every bit and it's not just about sex. There is a legal age for sex for a reason, stick with it. 5/6

You think that you might be mature enough to make that desicion for yourself at a young age, but trust me you're not, there is still so much to find out about yourself. You grow everyday and you find out something about yourself everyday. So please don't waste such an intimate thing with a person who didnt show you it is much more about than just sex. All love and best wishes 💜 6/6 (I didnt talk about online sex predators but I hope that conveys the message)

Sorry I didn’t post this till now I wanted to post them all together but I had to leave for work earlier

And I have a similar mindset to you so I totally get what you’re saying. One of the reasons I’m still a virgin is because I don’t want to just go out and have sex simply in order to not be labeled as a virgin anymore lol.

I think it’s important to think over what you’re doing so that you don’t regret it later, but at the same time I get people who don’t see sex as such an intimate thing either ^^ I have a friend right now who’s just exploring her sexuality and hooking up with people since she broke up with her boyfriend a while ago.

At the end of the day I just think it’s important to think about the positives and negatives about what you’re going to do.

[enaasteria]

Answered Asks // 3

Consolidating asks as to not spam dashboards. Under the cut!

Anonymous said to enaasteria: March 29th 2018, 3:56:00 pm · 2 days ago wanted to drop by and let you know that i've been listening to 'Fool of Me' by Meshell Ndegeocello for more than a week and it reminds me so much of the heartbreaking moment in chapter 11 when Sehun made the decision to leave Ahri behind. imnotcryingyouare. i hope they become like the song 'Cheek to Cheek' (Louis Armstrong & Ella Fitzgerald version) *hinthintwaggleseyebrowswinkwink* hope you have a lovely day <3!

AHHHH REPLIES *-* <3!!! I accept the love you’ve bestowed upon me. I shall violently love you back *SHOOTSHEARTSATYOU* dont worry, I remember the what I wrote in the recs message! I was saying that I’ve been listening to this song ‘Fool of Me’ by Meshell Ndegeocello, which reminded me so much of the end of chapter 11 when Sehun decided to leave Ahri. The heartbreak is so real T_T imnotcryingyouare. I hope they end up being like ‘Cheek to Cheek’ (Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong version)! - ma

OMG SO APPARENTLY I DIDNT DELETE IT. This is how tumblr inept I am. I thought I did. It showed that I did when I was on the computer but apparently I didn’t on mobile. WEIRD. Listening to it now! 

Both of these songs sound so similar. I feel like I’ve heard them before omg. good recs. I really like them.

Fool of Me by Meshell Ndegeocell

Was I blind to the truth just there to fill the space... What kind of fool am I that you so easily set me aside OMG MY HEART IS BREAKING. Why do the lyrics fit so well. Right off with the first few lyrics. I’m crying. YES I AM CRYING. This was almost the same words she thought in the chapter. Was she there only to temporarily fill the void in Sehun’s heart when she felt it was for Jiyul instead. OH NOOOO.

I can't touch you no more Can't touch you any more any more And this relates to Chapter 12 a lot how she wouldn’t really look at him or touch him and this is so sad. THIS WHOLE SONG IS SO SAD but it’s so fitting to that part when he chose Jiyul over her and IT”S GOING INTO MY APT PLAYLIST.

Cheek to Cheek by Louis Armstrong & Ella Fitzgerald

THIS WHOLE SONG. Can I just say how cute it is??? This just makes me feel like I missed an opportune moment for Sehun and Ahri to dance together at the wedding??? I kind of made it so that it was Soi and Ahri dancing puahahahha. Technically, I should’ve made Sehun and Ahri dance because he tends to dance when he’s nervous about something.

Sooooo BOOOOO I MISSED THE MOMENT. BUT STILL. It’s ok hahahahah But really. This song. The beat. THE CHEEK TO CHEEK. More like forehead to forehead between the two leads. Thank you so much for the recs!!! I loved them so much and can’t wait to add them to my playlist!!

I read chapter 17 till half past 4 in the morning. I had to sleep because i needed to wake up at 9 for a gym session the next morning. But I have sleep problems so I kept waking up throughout the night and reaching for my phone to reread 17 in my sleep-induced haze and dozing off. I had to fake illness and reschedule my gym session in the end xD. I hope my trainer doesn’t see this. HAHAH even when I was half asleep, I kept thinking that I still had so much to tell you about 17!! - ma

OMG MA. WHY DID U STAY UP SO LATEEEE. NUUUUU. Also since your music anon and the abbrev is MA, I literally scream MAAAAA LOOOOL. AND OMGOSHHHH. Please rest. Please sleeeeeep. Your poor thing. i’m so sorry that the story kept waking you up. But I can’t wait to hear your thoughts and really thank you so much. I really can’t appreciate your messages enough. They make me so HAPPPPPYYYY //runs off screaming while drinking my coffeeeeeeeee//

@sehunsmile​ said to enaasteria: March 30th 2018, 11:42:00 pm · 9 hours ago ENA, ENAAAA!!!! I JUST GOT HOME AND I'M FINALLY GONNA READ CHAPTER 17. I'M SO NOT READY BUT I AM! I KNOW I'M GONNA DIE, I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS CHAPTER AND GOD CHAPTER 16 ENDED SO GOOD I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT BUT I'M EXCITED SO I'M GONNA READ IT NOW! SORRY FOR ALL CAPS I'M JUST TOO EXCITED AHFNJABFKSBFLSKFJDKJDFK

YASSSSS. LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF IT AND I DONT MIND CAPS LOCK AT ALLLL. IT just shows me you’re really excited and I’m excited for you to read it. Many apologies for how long it took me to write it but I hope you enjoy it. AHHHH TY FOR LIKING CH 16. I remember being really stressed over it because it was so SLOOOOOOOWWWW but yas yas. Please enjoy 17. Thank you for your patience //hearts u//

@heythereitsmo​ said to enaasteria: March 31st 2018, 12:12:00 am · 8 hours ago Oh when Sehun tells Ahri the story of the Keepers, I remembered you wrote a piece about it and it was just — beautiful. I cried then and I cried now because it literally took my breath away. Every chapter is so stunning Ena, every word resonates so deeply in my soul. It wasn’t always easy but they’re happy together and in love and I hope on my own stars that someone will love me the way Sehun loves Ahri — even if there are flaws and hurdles. You wrote this fabulously, love. Fantastic job.

YAS!!! You caught the merge of Keepers into Apt. This and Yua x PCY are all other stories I’m working on and I wanted to weave them into apt for continuity. I like having all my stories intertwine in some manner. It’s fun but also makes my brain want to explode when I have to make it flow right LOL. YOU’RE REALLY GUNNA MAKE ME CRY. Thank you so much for reading. I really remember you as one of the readers staying with this fic for so long. i really think it’s been years for you and I’m so grateful for your patience but also all the support you gave me. I wish you all the love and happiness and thank you for loving my characters as much as I do.

Anonymous said to enaasteria: March 31st 2018, 12:26:00 am · 8 hours ago Okay but Sehun getting provoked by ahri’s ‘other men’ amuses me sooooo much THANK U SO MUCH FOR CH 17 I honestly needed some destressing with an overload of fluff (and that thick tension 😉😏) ☺️💕💓😚

I definitely had to throw in Ahri’s other men to lighten up the mood hahaha. JK JK. I just really love jealous sehun?? I think he’s super sweet and it’s not like he’s like the bad kind of jealousy. He’s just irked??? LOOOL. It’s cute when he’s just agitated. I really hope you love the fluff and slow burn for the kiss LOL

@shewantsmeshesgotme​ said to enaasteria: March 31st 2018, 1:35:00 am · 7 hours ago I. AM. IN. LOVE. NXKELBFKDLFNFNDNNSKDKFNFBI. I CANT EVEN FORM THOUGHTS IM SO BLOODY IN LOVE OH MY GOD ENA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME!!?!? You....you are some sort of a genius wizard I can’t even...I’m just broken I love this fucking story so much and YOU I LOVE YOU THANK YOU CHRIST I NEED TO SIT AND STARE AT THE CEILING FOR AN HOUR. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

LORIIIIIIIIIIIIII. THANK YOUUUUU GAHHHH. THANK YOUU SO MUCHHHH. Thank you for your help. Thank you for reading. Thank you for the screams. IM NOT A GENIUS WIZARD. YOU ARE. BUT THANK YOUUUU. Really thank you so much for reading this fic and DONT STARE AT THE CEILING. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS. Now that I finished 17, I can get to reading all the fics that are sitting in my backlog and I really want to read all of yours. I really need to read The Boxer. It’s on my to do list foreverrrrrrr. hugss!!!

@yeolieminelli​ said to enaasteria: March 31st 2018, 2:25:00 am · 6 hours ago HUHUHU. Just finished Ch. 17 😭 It's beautiful. How the each traditional family story just made sense for Ahri and Sehun ❤❤❤ Thank you for writing such a beuatiful chapter for both of them. You are a great writer dear. 😁😁😁 On a side note- I was listening to an instrumental that fit so well for the last part of Sehun's surprise, it felt even more magical. I wish I could share it with you, if I discover how. 😂

YAYYYY!!! I”M SO GLAD U ENJOYED ITTT. RIGHT? I’ve had that ending in my head for 3 years now and it’s finally there. It’s finally written and can I place a pat on my back for it because I thought it was fitting for their story too. Thank you so much for your help on it and thank you for reading. What instrumental?? You can send me the title and I can look it up on YT to add to my Apt Song Rec list!!

ramblingpeaches said to enaasteria: @ramblingpeaches I CANT TAG U WHY March 31st 2018, 3:07:00 am · 5 hours ago that was such a beautiful chapter! so worth the wait- no actually way more than that! you honestly have such a way with words. your writing, your story has made me feel a bunch of emotions and you're just so so talented that i feel like i can't properly express how much i adore your writing and hope this somewhat conveys it haha. thank you for an amazing chapter, definitely made my morning! :) ♡

Thank you so much for this message! I’m so glad you thought it was worth the wait. I’m so sorry it took so long to write but I’m such a slow writer. AND I HAVE A WAY WITH WORDS. AHHHHH //SCREAMS// You’re so kind to me and this is really such a great message because it just makes all the screams worth it. AND NOOO. REALLY. You’ve done so much for me. If you read and send me a message of how you enjoyed the chapter, that really just makes my heart swell. Thank you so much for reading!!!

@yeollieollie said to enaasteria: March 31st 2018, 3:23:00 am · 5 hours ago Omg my heart that was the cutest thing ever why can’t that happen to meeee amazing!!!

Thank you so much for reading!! Wasn’t it??? It’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever written in my entire life and I kind of don’t know what to do with myself anymore LOL.

Anonymous said to enaasteria: March 31st 2018, 5:11:00 am · 3 hours ago hi chap 17 was full of fluff i literally died after reading it 💗 tq for writing such a wonderful story! :) also! how old are sehun and ahri in this story?

ANONNN. Did you know I screamed a lot while writing this chapter. I felt so bad for my followers on Twitter. They felt the main grunt of it all ahhahahaha. I almost died writing this. My heart hurt so bad from it all T_____T Thank you so much for reading and as for their ages. I heavily---HEAVILYYYY aged Sehun in this because I felt I needed his character a bit older than how he was. And since I started this fic 3 years ago, I really did age this poor boy LOL. He’s 29 and she’s 27 in the story. :)

#ma #music anon #sehunsmile #heythereitsmo #anon #shewantsmeshesgotme #yeolieminelli #ramblingpeaches #yeollieollie

[henisadventures]

Psalmodie.

It started back in august, when I randomly came down from my room to show Sophie a song, I believe it was Pieces by Amanda Lindsey Cook. She told me she really liked it, and that if I like these kind of songs, one of here college friends is singing in a choir, in Lausanne. "Wait, I am gonna show you videos, we even have a CD! Do you want to sing in this choir? " —she asked.

At that point, I had no idea of what I am gonna get myself into. I never in a million years thought that this choir is going to give me friends, social life, unforgettable memories but most importantly it is going to evolve my love for the Lord. I said yes. I said why not, as Emily Wilson thought me.

Yeah, so we were watching the videos, and she told me to decide quickly if I would like to join or not because the first repetition is right around the corner. Also, even though I had like 0 language skills in French,I was like why not.

The first repetition day comes, I was SO nervous, you cannot imagine. I changed outfits at least 3 times, I was barely able to eat, but I had to, cause we were to leave after luch to meet Anouk.

Anouk is now my Psalmodie mommy, I love her to pieces. She’s been the helping hand I always needed, the reassurance that it is gonna be okay, and that „no, no problem if you dont know all the songs” that I replayed in my head every single time I had a doubt in the project or in myself.

Yeah, so we are there, going to Lausanne, I am about to meet 60 new people, there goes the social life hiatus, I am about to make friends there! Aha, yes. But it needed a bit more time, that I expected.

I enjoyed every single minute of every repetition. We started with the warmups, and the „I am so happy, Jesus is my salvation!”, was the first one that I understood. The other one, however I still have no idea about, honestly, what is the lyrics of the do, mi, so, do, do, so, mi, do thing?

Moooving on. We started to sing a new song, Christ est tout pour moi. When I tell you, this song is THE song for me. It was the first one, when I actually felt like I am in a movie. It was the best feeling ever, and we were just practicing. I felt like above the clouds closer to God every single time.

Okay, I have a confession, whenever JD or Marc was talking I didn’t understand 90% of them. Even during the concert, exept, when Marc was speaking in English which was the weirdest thing ever cause I got used to not be able to understand him.

Yeah so we were preparing for the CD recording. I had like 3 weeks to learn seven songs in French and luckily none of them was Garde ma bouche. Who am I joking though, I love that song now.

So, the recording days. I kind of knew a few people, but I was just guessing some names or faces. Oh gosh, it was a very hard but very precious two days.

When we were singing Vase d’argile, that feeling is something I will save into a bottle. It was the best thing ever. The whole two days were a blessing even though I was like extra extra sick a day before. It was a wild ride, but every single minute was worth it.

I am gonna be on a CD!!!!! I still get very happy about it whenever it comes to my mind.

Yeah so back to the repetition phase, we were finally singing Christ est tout pour moi again. I was missing it truly :( Then all the other songs I didn’t know about, AND that was the time I realized we are gonna do CHOREOGRAPHIES. Just imagine. I am concentrating on the lyrics, the melody, the correct time to sing, hand gestures (clap or snap) and then my feet. I was like ok ☺ No worries. Hahahhha, I was very worried.

Shout out to everybody who supported me during the preparation of the concert. Honestly, without you guys (and the Creator) , I wouldn't be able to survive.

Yeah, so the concerts were last weekend, a week ago Nathalie came over to help me with the songs, because 3 days before there were 2 songs that I had no idea about. Eh, lol. c’est la vie.

Thank you Nathalie again!!!

So the weekend comes. What a weekend.

I was barely able to eat. Literally I ate like 3 spoons of lunch after I was suffering with Rigo Jancsi in the kitchen for 2 hours. It was worth it though, everybody loved it.

Then Anouk and Samuel came to pick me up and we were on the way for the concert. My hand was shaking so much, I was either near of these three: crying, stroke or passing out. Only one of them happened, and it was not the stroke or the passing out. I was wearing the scarf and honestly I felt like a Bella. A Psalmodie Bella. I literally went to Giulia and shouted to her that ARE WE THE PSALMODIE BELLAS YES OR NO??

So I was trying to ignore the fact that I don’t know all the songs as much as I was able to, and I am not gonna lie, at some point I was able to. Because the atmosphère of the concert was sooooo so so so magical.

Let us see those concert songs, shall we?

✨Car toi seul est Dieu✨ The intro song, so amazing, I loved it very much. Little backstory, I was listening to this song every time I was cooking on Monday nights. I found a version on Spotify, I knew the alto and there was the perfect music for cooking. Alas! What was the thing I absolutely forgot? The 2nd verse. Haha. I knew the song perfectly exept for the second verse. I realized it exactly where you guessed: during the concert.

✨Bien compter nos jours✨ Ehhh. The song, that I had no full picture in my had until the Wednesday before the concert. Long, long song. I was genuinely frustrated but I acted like I knew all the words and the ending is very epic, 10/10.

✨Oui je crois (Le Crédo)✨ Another epic song, the standing up is just soooooooooo cool, I loved it but I absolutely forgot about the hand-moving part at the 2nd verse, lol. I thought I knew this song, but I had to realize that I was wrong…during the concert.

✨Christ est tout pour moi✨ This song could be my anthem for real. This song is a little more special than the others because it was the first song that I rehearsed really and honestly I felt like above the clouds. Still do, whenever I think about it. Tears of joy, feeling the touch of Heaven.

✨Vase d’argile✨ Oh wow, this song is just wow. When we were doing the recordings, I will never forget that 3 seconds of silence after we finished. This song is also everything we evern need to know. I love it so much. Now I see.

✨Jour de jugement✨ The third very very epic song. I didn’t know all the verses, but as before, I acted like I did. Very deep, very well built up. „la malédiction”… was just…wow.

✨Joie promise dès l’origine✨ This contrast was kind of weird for me, we had the 3 songs before, all very deep, all very epic and dramatic, and then, there comes this bundle of joy with 6 different instruments, all happy, after we were singing about Jugement day. We just casuallytold the people that „hey, actually, no worries, because there is somebody who was promised to save us the scary things!!!!”. Honestly I don’t know if it was intentional, but in my opinion it was brilliant like this.

✨Plus grand que tout autre nom✨Oh well, this song was the „I wish I was just over it song” for me because I was so freaking scared of this, honestly. Lyrics, feet, snap, when to stop, when to snap, when to change snap to clap and just in general sing correctly, etc, etc. It was the most stressful song for me but I loved it, it is a very nice song, and the improvisation on the 2nd concert was a very precious moment.

✨Le saint nom de Jésus✨I knew the refrain, that’s all. Very thankful that JD was singing with us because as I learend in my past 12 with the Gyermekkórus in Szeged, if you just look at the mouth of the leader, it is gonna be fine. Köszönöm szépen Nagyi!!!

✨Un Pére pour l’orphelin✨You repair the broken hearts and make dreams reborn. Thank you Nathalie for this because I had an extra smile on while singing this. I didn’t knew I like this song but is just such a nice and fun song, I realized cannot not like it.

✨Jamais loin de moi✨This was a very special song, because this is the eldest kid’s favourite. When we are walking home from school, or even just randomly playing we just randomly start to sing it. He loves it so much and I am so proud of him.

✨Ta bonté✨ This song was stuck in my head whenever I saw the sunrays through the clouds. It is just so beautiful, with all the instruments and just in general the meaning of the song. It is about the endless love of God. My favourite part in the lyrics was the ooooohhhhhhh

✨Garde ma bouche✨ The Goliat to my David. Guys. If I could learn the 75% of this song, than literally anybody on this planet is able to. There is no impossible. I will never forget, when on one of the repetitions, Marc was telling something like „Yes I know it is fast…” and at least 5 people looked at me with either laugh or pity… I was like „hahhahhahah yeah i know hahahahahha”. It was the time of true hopelessness. But. I aint no quitter, so I learned it. Second by second, word by word. And it became one of my favourite songs.

✨Bénis Dieu✨I have really ten thousand reasons to say this. One of them is Psalmodie.

✨Ne crains rien✨The baby-guitar song. That’s how I call the ukulele because it just looks like a ba-by-gu-i-tar. Okay so I didn’t know the lyrics, but luckily there were some oooooooh-s and the other parts – I gave them to the Lord.

✨Abondance de joie✨This song is just again a bundle of joy. And also epic. I loved SO MUCH when during the repetition before the concert we just kept on singing it without Marc. That was very funny.

✨Yahwe✨ I went to the concert of Collectif Cieux Ouvert and I heard it once. That was all I knew about this song, and because has been singing it since ages and everybody knows it by heart, we didnt rehears it so I was like, ok, I am just gonna follow the chef. It was amazing though.

✨Alleluia de Noël✨The last song. And also a very special cause the middle child has been singing it at home for so long. She loves this song so much. So do I. This song is the soul of Christmas. Here is the Saviour, he is born. And the way we were singing when we came down the stairs. I am forever thankful that we have a video of that because that moment is too beautiful to be only saved in our memories. Whenever I watch that video, my heart is filled with joy.

I cannot be thankful enough for this choir and these people who I am lucky enough to call my friends. I learned so much from them in this past few months, it is crazy. I love every single one of them. I didn’t know I needed Psalmodie until I found it.

Here comes the cheesy part:

Shout out to Lea for being my crazy friend, to Giulia for being the nicest Bella ever, to Nathalie for being there when needed, to Aurelie for the helping words and the notes, to Sebastien for not talking to me haha, to Anouk for being my Psalmo mama, to Lauraine for always smiling and talking, to JD & Marc for being awesome awesome leaders, to Theo for the magic tricks, to Marc for the cow-jokes, to Estelle for being the first person I ever talked in Psalmodie, to Vanessa for the unforgettable car-rides and honestly for every single person who is talking to me in English because I know it is hard just look at me struggling with French. This is an unforgettable experience. I love every second of serving the Lord this way.

I could go on for hours but that is all for today, if you read all that, you can come to collect your friendship award, I appreciate it very much, thank you for your time. 💛

Bénis Dieu oh mon âme !!

Á toute,

Heni

[tinkdw]

12x22: Dean Winchester is going to die

Well, when I was new, I wrote a whole post about this, about how early episodes but especially 12x11 foreshadowed that Performing!Dean was going to be deconstructed by the end of the season... Fans self.

The death of Performing!Dean in this episode was BEAUTIFUL. It was EXQUISITE. I couldn't have asked for MORE! 

I literally grabbed and punched @amwritingmeta in the leg I don't know how many times as I paused it to point and shout.

1. The Grenade Launcher

So, the grenade launcher = performing!Dean metaphor. We had hoped and boy did they deliver! Did anyone else notice, while Dean was *ahem* knocking down the seemingly unpenetrable physical walls, that, maybe it was my weird link, but it seemed to me that the flashing ‘red’ lights in the MoL bunker were decidedly pinky-purpley in colour rather than standard alarm bells red and the flashlights glowed on the blue side of white... (the MoL HQ lights are also brightly pinky-purple to keep the theme going, I mean honestly what self respecting 1950s MoL guy chose this for the bunker instead of the usual red? Please!) Just saying. 

“It wasn't long ago I thought we had it made. We had Cas back, we had mom back. I mean it wasn't perfect but still...”.  This is it. Dean’s facade has been coming down all season, but at this point now, he just doesn’t see the point in holding it up anymore.

And what does Sam do? HE OPENS UP TO DEAN. He tells Dean how he feels, the reasons why he followed the MoL - that it was “easier than leading”, that he made a mistake. This enables Dean to be truthful himself, in the end, now. Again, they have had many times to reflect on their own deaths but this is another time similar to 11x23 where he can really reflect on what he has lost, and now what is that? Cas and Mary.

Dean uses the grenade launcher, that he’s been dying to do since forever, blows down the impenetrable seeming wall, saves the day. How meta do we need to go? It’s BLATANT. The choice in the colour of the lights, the dialogue, his feelings... the walls are Dean’s facade and the grenade launcher is his way of breaking it down. YES. This has been building all season and much prior to this other meta writers have said that he grenade launcher is associated with Dean’s hidden side, his bisexuality, Destiel etc... this is meta gold, THIS is a meta aspect Dabb was talking about. Toni even then parallels the tearing down of Mary’s mental wall with Dean’s physical use of the grenade launcher, just moments after. It is so well put together :D

Also, I have long believed that the bunker had to go. It represents too much the MoL side of things and the whole ‘living below ground’ thing is way too underground / metaphorically bad. For me they need a real, healthy home which is in between Bobby’s hunter house and the MoL bunker. Hopefully they will find a nice modern MoL home with kit but that isn't so hidden above ground somewhere next season to take over and make their own :D

2. Sam the MoL leader

“Real hunting isn’t just about killing, it’s about doing whats right... I want you to follow me”. We have wanted this for Sam all season, the MoL story fits his personal arc so well (so did Eileen, still bitter), this is Sam’s endgame. Sam said just moments earlier that he didn’t want to lead, but now he is, because it is necessary and because he is good at it. I believe he will now see that this is what he wants and will work towards this for his endgame.

This then leads to...

3. Dean and Sam - ending the brodependency and Dean as Sam’s parent

Dean lets Sam go, the dialogue is amazing. “You’re ready for this... you got this” paralleled with an actual mom/daughter conversation between Jody and Alex. 

Dean literally talks to Sam like a parent letting their child go off to college and I had to pause this for a long long moment to process and scream “they’re actually going there!” not even knowing what was coming next... man...

Then comes the Mary / Dean scene.

4. Dean and Mary

This was always going to be what Mary led to for Dean’s arc. After Amara had started this addressing of Dean’s facade in season 11 and Mary is basically an extension of Amara this season re: Dean (in the same way that she still has to influence Sam’s arc re: Lucifer, that is for next season). I LOVED how BLATANT and textual they made this, the actual lack of subtext because it was all in the ACTUAL TEXT! 

Firstly, Dean considers letting Toni go, which I had expected, to show the difference between our boys (morality) and the MoL as monsters.

Then... “Dad was just a shell...I had to be a father and a mother to keep him safe, and that wasnt fair, and I couldnt do it, and you wanna know what that was like? They killed the girl that he loved, he got possessed by Lucifer, they tortured him in hell and he lost his soul...But I forgive you, for everything.” MY HEART!

Ok, yeah, they did the thing, they brought Jess up 30 mins before killing the guy that Dean loves after not mentioning her for.... A DECADE? And paralleling one of the few scenes we ever saw her in with Dean/Cas too? After we already had the parallel with Dean seeing Cas when driving along, same as Sam did? So, only the scene of Sam and Jess in the bar and the scene where Dean actually meets her haven't been paralleled now with Dean/Cas? I’M LIVING!

But seriously. The rest is exactly what we, the audience needed to understand Dean and to show casual viewers Dean’s inner angst in order to understand the facade coming down, this is exactly what Dean needed. He has come full circle, this is the start of the culmination of the end of Performing!Dean (which Jensen has no said at Jibcon will be furthered in season 13!).

Dean actually TELLS Mary in his mind that he hates her, but that he loves her. That he had to be Sam’s mother and father, and that it wasn't FAIR. This is so important, that he didnt just say that it happend and that it sucked, but that it wasn't FAIR and that he did not DESERVE IT.

This is Dean addressing not just his mother but how HE feels about it, how he feels about HIMSELF, that he is saying that he DESERVES MORE and has SELF WORTH. 

These are all the words I have been using since 12x01 re: Dean . I’m so happy!

5. Ketch kills Toni, Mary kills Ketch after Dean beats him to a pulp, PERFECT, Jody kills Hess, again perfect.

This had to happen to keep our boys on the ‘don't kill humans unless they HAVE to’ side, especially after Dean considered letting Toni go. Thank you.

6. Winchester family reunion 

Sam’s forgiveness of Mary, Dean’s reaction to the happy family hug (it’s great but someone is missing...). “Who we are... we kick ass. We save the world” 

SAM AND DEAN ARE ACCEPTING THEMSELVES THIS SEASON. In 12x09 Sam said it, now Dean says it. After all the angst this episode and for Dean all season...

This whole episode was for me the culmination of the deconstruction of Performing!Dean this season, which has been the main theme carried through on the character - driven side of things, it was beautiful.

In many ways I view this as the character - led season finale and 12x23 as the plot - led season finale (which I will post my thoughts on right up next).

I cannot WAIT to see the result of this episode come across next season. 

We have not only now Performing!Dean pretty much dead or on his way out, the Dean Winchester is going to die metaphor was fully used and was fantastic, but coupled with Cas being brutally taken away from Dean, the parallels with 2 key canon romantic couples (Sam/Jess and Cain/Colette) in this within SECONDS of each other, plus the Jibcon revelations that we will see more of Dean’s reaction to this in season 13, apparently crying (and Jared not even hiding Destiel jokes now) make me pretty much 100% convinced Destiel is really endgame now.

Aside from this we now have Dean accepting himself, his internal self acceptance arc coming to a close, Sam’s MoL arc coming up and I will touch on the other aspects of the story for Sam in the next post as they are relevant to Lucifer / Jack, and Cas’s arc too...

Season 13 is already set up for exactly the endgame I am wishing for!

Tink’s Endgame Wishlist :

- Mol! Sam (and Eileen, Chuck I’m still bitter about that though, I really hoped her death would turn out to be a misdirection). Pretty much CHECK.

- Hunter / Mol collaboration with Sam and Dean as leaders. Pretty much CHECK.

- End of the brodependency, Dean acknowledging he was Sam’s parent and letting him go. CHECK.

- End of Performing!Dean. Pretty much CHECK.

- Human!Cas and self worth and belonging for his arc. TBA probably next season, what happened this season makes no sense if not to lead to this.

- Destiel. Pretty much CHECK. (And now after seeing Jibcon and the boys just joking about it all the time? Yeah, I don't think they have an issue with this!).

- ALL THE RAINBOWS

#spn 12x22 #performing!dean #mary winchester #destiel #dean is bi #bi!dean #bunker #tinks meta #spn 12x22 meta