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pandorafallz · 19 days

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Lest We Rest Upon Our Graves | C12

tw: heavy topics of infant loss

Alma kept her façade up as she led the way back to the Council tent where the sisters would be, her hands in tight fists as she kept her breathing in check; to keep her heart in check. Very aware as So’lek easily caught up with her but she was done now.

She could almost feel his questions but now wasn’t the time. The sisters would need to know what would be coming in a few years' time and prepare in advance. It was better to know than to be like Jake and to be taken by surprise by these new avatars.

Recoms, as a concept… Alma was honest in that she liked that. A form of rebirth into a body she could love and cherish. A body she was more familiar with. A body she could care for. To never have to worry about unlinking. A chance where she could… have children that would survive and thrive. To be accepted as one of the people like Jake.

She had no idea what the RDA used to preserve the soldier’s minds, but she certainly had no means to replicate it on her link-bed servers even if she wanted to try. Too big of a scan without the correct storage drives too. Her last remaining avatar was probably too unstable now, wherever Nalin had put it.

“Cortez.” So’lek’s shadow overtook her first. “It will be best that I explain the situation to the sisters.”

Alma’s jaw tensed a little, turning her head up to look at him unable to help the frown dent between her eyebrows but she forced herself to nod despite her disagreement of it. She had done most of the work here yet he gets the spoils. She would garner no favour here with the Zeswa. “I’m going to the ship then.” She turned without another word back the way they had taken which would fork back to the outer circle of tents.

Alma heard him call after her but she didn’t stop or acknowledge his words. Once again, dismissed. It's always the same thing. Ever the reminder she wasn’t one of them as if she wasn’t well aware. It hurt, honestly now that she was now being seen as redundant once she had given them what they wanted to know. A tool, simply like that.

Her death truly wouldn’t matter to them. In the end.

Her breath shook a little, swallowing back more for now as she walked alone to the ship.

Anqa was there and looked to be napping which was certainly well-earned but not enough for her to feel guilty as she clambered on and startling her awake.

“Huh—Oh.” Anqa sat up blearily before she looked at her monitors for something. “That wasn’t long.”

“We got the confirmations we wanted,” Alma said though she eyed the pilot for a moment. Her heart lurched a little at the long-distant memory that resurfaced.

A small tree with moss, a dug hole with the metal box, hands shaking as she lowered it down…

“Is there enough fuel to get to TAP’s school in the Kinglor forest and back to Base?” Alma asked, withdrawing from the thought sharply to keep herself from spiralling. Now was not the time, she could wait until she had answers. If Harding was being truthful or just...being damn cruel for bringing up something she had tried to not think about and had long since buried.

Anqa blinked at her for a long moment then down to her instruments. “Yes, but I’m not making that trip today.”

“I need to go there, Anqa.” Alma couldn’t help the firmness in her voice. “We’re closer here than we are in the clouded forest. It’s shorter.”

“I’m not making another trip unless we’re returning back to base.” Anqa argued, “I’m sorry but I’m too damn tired.”

“Then nap here for a little bit. The sisters are still talking to So’lek.” She could sit and wait for Anqa to rest if it meant—

“No. I’m going back to sleep in my own bed.”

“Anqa—“

“I said no, Cortez!” Anqa snapped, her voice raising a fraction. “I know you want to go there but I’ve been in the middle of a war this morning. I’ve been up since four getting my ship in action. What you want is not my priority when I need to rest in a safe place and in the arms of the woman I love.”

Alma blinked at the pilot, taken aback entirely and even Anqa looked a little surprised at her own outburst but her expression remained set. Alma dropped her gaze, offering a single nod before she withdrew from the Samson cockpit entirely and out.

“Cortez…” Anqa sighed, sounding frustrated and apologetic but she already shut the small airlock between and slipped from the ship entirely.

She didn’t go far. Not really. Alma wasn’t stupid enough to just wander off now but she settled on the grass about 15 meters from Samson, legs outstretched, her bruised arm resting against her thigh and the other set back to support her weight. The wind was still sharp and she could feel the pressures of it push against her mask and how it flurried through her clothes. Cold, but bearable.

Cold like the lab had always been. She didn’t feel like she was sitting in the Circle either…

‘Hey, Alma. Give us a spin!’

Alma’s head turned around from her desk to see the familiar face of Dr Michael Brookes standing by, his tablet up and recording. She gave him a look. “Put that down, I’m working.” She waved it away although he didn’t lower it.

“Look, you’re carrying the first ever human going to be born on Pandora! This is for research!”

“Have you gloated you help make it?” She eyed her fiancee with a look.

Michael just grinned, “You’re doing all the hard work, Doc. My job is done.”

“Ha, like hell it isn’t.” She retorted back, “You’ve already agreed to be very involved so you’re on diaper duty.” Alma twirled her engagement ring at him as she stood up from her desk though careful with how large the bump was but at Michael’s pouty look behind the tablet, she rolled her eyes, giving a soft spin with a hand on the front of her belly. “Happy?”

“Very!” Michael lowered the tablet down, setting it off to the side against the desk lamp as his hands came to the bump. “Only a few weeks to go.”

Alma smiled, moving his hand to the heel of the baby’s foot. “Thank god.”

Michael snorted, “That eager?”

“She head-butts my bladder and I can barely fit into my link-bed now. Even with the alterations made to the top chamber and supports for my body. I can’t do more than an hour linked up before I have to unlink to move about.” It was an increasingly frustrating thing and she knew Mercer was getting annoyed but she had to value her own physical health here and for making sure her child’s development was unhindered.

“Well, that shouldn’t hamper your work too much when you’re not with the kids. They’re still…adapting.” Michael looked uncomfortable, his eyes remaining down on the bump though Alma felt the rise of guilt still but quashed it. “They’ll get a new avatar driver teacher once you’re ready to go. Hell’s Gate would be far better suited for our daughter anyway. I’ll be going there tomorrow to get set up anyway. I can meet you there.”

Alma nodded. “I know it’s just…hard to leave them.” After all that the kids have gone through this past year… a new face might throw them off. Still, another Avatar was far better than a human face. They did respond well to her given she looked Na’vi to them enough. She could still help at a distance with the new driver too. She could still make it a success. If… she was lucky, maybe once her daughter was bigger, she could introduce them to the Sarentu kids.

Alma’s breath shook as she let the memory play out in her head from so long ago. It felt like a different lifetime. Everything had gone downhill from that day onwards. It brought back a new pain in her heart. Long buried—suppressed even—from herself to avoid feeling that grief and loss. She had done so well to avoid it for over three decades.

Him. Her.

It was still as raw and sharp as before… but Alma tried to keep herself from crumbling. Not out here. Not with the Zeswa about; they wouldn’t understand her conflicts.

But what if Harding was right? She never had an autopsy done on her to see at the time. Alma had been sick when she had been in recovery from the delivery, labour had not been smooth and the baby had gotten stuck given she had become breech and they hadn’t been able to turn her. A C-section had been required when her health took a very serious decline.

The scar being the only reminder now on her human body of her pain and loss. She hated it the most on this body, why she hated looking down at her naked form in the shower. The avatar never had that scar nor the history or the grief that came with it; her escape and new reality.

While it was easy to kill a baby and not leave a mark on bones, traces of the development was affected would show on the bones. Alma could only imagine it was through tampered food that could have affected her pregnancy. Perhaps long-term? She needed those bones to see; to confirm…

“<You sit alone outside the safety of your metal ship?>”

Alma stiffened up in surprise, her head turned sharply to see Minang of all Na’vi crouching down beside her, looking a little high-nosed but otherwise seemingly content to be here.

“<I got into a…disagreement with the rider.>” Alma stated, her heart fluttering nervously at the sheer size difference, pulling her injured arm more out of sight. Even if she knew Minang wasn’t going to hurt her. “<It was too awkward to wait inside.>”

“<So’lek informed us of what was shared. I came with…questions myself that he couldn’t answer. He said you left abruptly with hurt feelings.>”

“<What questions did you have?>”

“<Dreamwalkers, how long do they take to grow and birth?>”

Ah, made sense they’d want to know that. They had only ever dealt with them after the fact, not the waiting game. “The avatars are typically grown on the way to Pandora, which is about six years on board. It depends on when Harding applied for the program. If she applied for it on the way, then the Dreamwalker body is more or less grown by this point. If the RDA wait until death is confirmed to put the avatar into full gestation, then it could take as little as three years for them to produce her Dreamwalker. They’ll use a more aggressive growth supplement when on site than those grown on route.>”

“<How much will this Dreamwalker have of the Harding we have?>”

“<If she had what scan they did to preserve the mind before she left for the West Frontier, then she wouldn’t have any recollection of the Zeswa clan or poaching or black-market schemes. She’ll retain her personality and memories up until that point.>” She knew Harding hadn’t poached prior to her second arrival so it was certainly going to be an interesting file for the Recom to read.

“<Maybe this Dreamwalker will learn from her true self and stay away,>” Minang remarked, “<But we will keep our eyes out regardless for all the children of Eywa.>”

Alma hummed airily.

For a moment, there was silence but Alma stared ahead, swallowing thickly as the distant Ikran were dancing about, snapping at each other in either a piss-fight or play. Honestly, very much like the Zeswa dance fighters.

“<So’lek didn’t mention you were unwell. I can sense a shadow behind you that our elders or sick often feel before they return to Eywa.>” Minang stated, her brow creasing. “<He mentioned Harding threatened you as you left.>”

“<She wasn’t.>” Alma shook her head. “<I’m dying. Harding knew that.>”

Minang’s eyes turned to her slowly. “<How?>”

“<My Dreamwalker died. It’s well known in the RDA that a dead avatar condemns its driver to a similar fate if they’re connected at the time of its death.>” Alma let out a shaky breath. “<I haven’t told a lot of people, So’lek included. It’s not something I want to advertise. I’d rather go quietly.>”

Minang’s head tilted but nodded once. Of course, she understood the notion of that all too well. The Zeswa’s way of death, their tradition was to talk away and not return; to lighten the burden of loss on the family and the clan. She could trust in telling Minang and trust she would not spread it around.

Hopefully.

Alma didn’t talk when they journeyed back to Resistance Base. Ignoring both So’lek and Anqa and was first out and into the base before either of them. Her steps took her typically back to the medical bay in search of Nalin.

The bay looked busy and Nalin looked to be occupied so Alma skirted out and back to the bunks which were occupied but most people looked to be either asleep or having downtime. Her bag was still there so she grabbed that and headed back to the office away from everyone.

Thankfully, it was empty so Alma took her place at the desk, set her bag down and stared at it for a long moment. Her heart fluttered in her chest a little at what this had; what she had kept hidden away in it. A small thing really.

A thumb drive.

It was still in there, small in her palm and it carried a weight in her lungs as she properly turned it in her fingers. Personal files from so long ago. Buried. Kept locked away from even her own tablets to keep the memories away but was unwilling to delete them entirely.

Her hands shook as she pushed it into the USB hub and tapped along the screen, her heart in her mouth as she accessed the data and a few pictures popped up.

The science team photographs, Her, Mercer, Michael and her fellow colleagues. She stood more off to the side, Michael’s arm around her.

Another was simply of her and Michael again, much later down the line, a personal photo rather than a work one. Alma distantly remembered him setting down the camera on a timer, pulling her around from her desk with hands on her belly. It had made her laugh at the time. They had been…happy. Despite the blood on their hand, despite their line of work; they had wanted to make it work and not just for the baby either.

An ultrasound scan, or a few was also part of her collection. A 3D scan of a little, sleepy face with her thumb in her mouth. However, on the scan, it showed she had had a complete unilateral cleft lip and pallet. Nothing that couldn’t be repaired with a little bit of surgery after birth. It hadn’t mattered to her because she was beautiful.

It gave Alma pause now just…wondering if the cleft lip was a sign of a tampered pregnancy. Long-term tampering could have caused deformities beyond what she had seen here; the cleft lip was common in humans and Michael’s father had it. She had just assumed it was genetic.

What if it wasn’t?

Her nails clinked in a soft echo as she moved through her files, going forward to the scans prior to that fateful one. Then… after. A little photo of the newborn, asleep if you didn’t know any better. Light skin that would have darkened up out of the womb, fluffy dark curls that were still stuck to her head. Lay wrapped in a little pink and white knitted blanket.

Her heart ached for the loss, yet she yearned to hold her still. She had forgotten the ache. The pain… knowing she couldn’t get to raise her. Couldn’t even birth her alive. She thought she had done something wrong in those last few days. Mercer had said she hadn’t looked after herself well enough. That she had done this to herself. To her baby.

Alma had believed him.

It felt foolish of her to think that now. Natural Stillbirths were never the fault of the mother. If Michael had been alive at her bedside at the time, he certainly wouldn’t have blamed her for it. But he wasn’t. She had been alone.

All she had after that were the Kids. Life in TAP was all she had to think about. It kept her own pain away and gave her new attachments. New focus.

A new life, so to speak.

“Cortez, you busy?”

Alma didn’t move or change the picture swiftly though her eyes slid to see Alex poking his head around the door frame.

“No.” her voice was low but curt, her throat felt thick but she could speak enough to carry across the room.

She shifted as he drifted in and she didn’t meet his eye as he looked at the image with a question in his eyes.

“I’ve…got the plans for the baghouse filters all set and the Aranahe had provided the first patches of piping for at least three machines. I plan to get a team together once we’re recovered to the Moot site to take the barrels back to the TAP facility.” Alex stated, going back to business despite his lingering look. “Your…suggestion seems the best viable one since Kìoetey assured me that the building can be sealed off from the environment.”

Alma nodded. “Are you going to use chemical treatments still?”

“Kìoetey mentioned water sources being contaminated. I want to drain the contaminated pond water and treat it separately. We can return the water to nature when it’s at a safe level to do so.” Alex explained before his eyes returned to the screen. “Who’s that?”

Alma’s throat tightened a little. “My daughter, Amanda.”

Alex’s head tilted. “I didn’t know you had a kid.” He sounded generally surprised as he leaned down to see the image more closely.

“I don’t.”

Alex’s posture stiffened up as the realisation seemed to hit him. “Oh, god. I’m so sorry, Cortez.”

Alma didn’t look at him but nodded. “She…passed a long time ago. I don’t know why I opened this can of worms.” She closed the pictures swiftly. “Harding was just…getting under my skin.”

“Harding?”

“It’s nothing. She…implicated her death wasn’t natural like I believed.” Alma went to tug the drive out when Alex’s hand came to her wrist, soft and gentle.

“Anything I can do?”

“Unless you can dig up her bones and bring them to me to test, not really.” Alma shook her head, regretting the thumping pain the motion brought thought from the background. “Anqa turned me down when I asked so… I guess I’ll never know.”

“Where…where did you bury her?”

“Outside the TAP school. I found this…little spot above a little stream beside a Night Leaf tree. I scored the bark with a cross simple as a grave marker.” Alma explained. “In case I ever wanted to go back. I didn’t want to bury them there but… it was the best I had at the time. I didn’t want to leave them at TAP-Con 1 like the others. Never brought myself to move them before, even when we went back for the kids. I…forgot.” She felt guilt surface at that. Forgetting.

“You focused on the living.” Alex reminded, “There’s no disrespect on prioritising the kids that were inside.”

Alma let out a shaky breath. “I suppose.” She shook her head. “Sorry, this isn’t why you’re here. Let me help with what’s important here.” She pulled the thumb drive out of the hub and shoved it back into her bag for now and reached for his tablet.

Kìoetey crouched carefully as she scoured through the foliage. An unexpected request from Alex but she had been glad to do something else. The sun was low in the early afternoon now and her present for Teylan was almost done but she was lacking a few things to complete it. She wanted more inspiration as well as ideas to help pass on to Teylan.

Returning to the Kinglor forest was still pleasant, so close to the TAP school…not as much. Alex had said she didn’t have to go if she was too uncomfortable but… she didn’t see why not. The trip was still wonderful and beautiful. Tapering away the… shifting weight of the last few hours had handed to her now that Mercer was dead.

Truly.

Freedom was truly theirs now. She didn’t have to worry about him ever again…or Harding for that matter. It still was nice to feel useful, even with the uncomfortable proximity to the school. But Alex had asked and she could feel it would mean a lot to him to do this for him.

She could do that.

“Little stream, Night-leaf tree…” She muttered to herself, trying to look for those features. Coordinates would have been nice but… who knew what she was looking for that was buried here.

It took about two more minutes before she found signs of a stream, dried up now, more or less but the terrain showed its little pathway that weaved through up so Kìoetey followed it curiously. Then the tree came to sight, five feet from the stream used to be so she headed toward it and knelt down. Her fingers touched the bark, bushing past the moss closer to its roots before the… healed markings of what Alex described showed up. A vertical line down, a shorter horizontal line across near its top.

She was at the right spot. Good. But the healing looked old. Something had been buried here for a long time. Would it still be here?

Kìoetey set the bag she was given off and gently began to remove the top foliage that had long taken over. The soil was matted with moister as she began to remove slowly from the roots, not too close to the tree but enough that looked suitably distanced for the burial of an item. It took five minutes of careful removal before she felt her fingers skim something hard. Her heart leapt a little as she turned her focus to that, shifting the soil until she had…unearthed a small, metal box.

Rusted, about the same size of a spare-box container and looked more like a personal belongings box. It was hard to make out what it was, even as she lifted it from the dirt. The case looked to be warped and dented with a few holes as well. There was ratting inside. A lot of ratting and a metal ting as well. There was weight to it, surprisingly. A part of her felt tempted to open it; to peek at what was inside that was so important but…her gut seemed to twist at the thought. No. This wasn’t hers to open. Alex would want to open it himself.

Masterlist

#avatar #avatar au #avatar james cameron #avatar frontiers of pandora #so'lek frontiers of pandora #frontiers of pandora #alma cortez #minang #zeswa clan #sarentu #ri'nela #teylan #nor #john mercer #priya chen #nesim

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aestariiwilderness · 1 month

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Bad Batch Season 3, Episode I Don't Even Know And Honestly Will Not Be Keeping Track * SPOILERS * (solely because Mina Nunyabiz *REAL NAME REDACTED* has gone on so many diatribes about this inexcusable social faux pas on Tumblr known as failing to accurately and comprehensively tag your posts for pieces of media which some people haven't gotten to watching yet and this means that if they wish to be on Tumblr without getting unwanted foreknowledge they have to undergo some vast and imprecise tribulation known as filtering by tag)

I have come to two, nay, three, EIGHT whole conclusions: a. Tech hacked the Star Wars Internet. b. Tech was the Star Wars Internet. c. Pabu does not have Star Wars Internet. d. The Batch cannot function without their Internet. e. The Batch has lost its sole functioning strategic brain cell. Hemlock caught it when Tech fell. The muscle and the face are kind of just winging it now; the auxiliary brain cell said "haha see you later, losers, I need to be Rex's chauffeur"; and the attitude's first and only plan is, as always, just "KILL". f. These men are adorable and also utter morons. g. Crosshair has no experience with women. Ever. He doesn't even know how to talk to them. They're a different species to him even when they aren't literally a different species. His two methods of social interaction just recently expanded to three (murder, snark, and now mother hen) and still none of them have anything to do with proper behavior towards adult females. Let alone one who doesn't share his genes. You can tell by the way he wildly swung from default "PICK FIGHT/KILL" to "offer genteel non-sarcastic hand up to my ship without sarcasm after you almost got my Stockholm syndroming sister killed by a giant turtle because if I can't kill you I literally am at a loss for how to behave towards you". h. Tech was the only member of the squad who ever bothered to get a newspaper and check to see who they were actually fighting.

Omega IS unsettling. Well noticed Venti

Hunter, continuing to be the king of asking the specific follow-up questions that the audience feels is relevant and the askee absolutely cannot answer without losing their mysterious vibes (see: season 1 finale -- "WHEN did you have your chip removed, exactly" "Does it matter?" "YES")

Hunter, continuing to be the king of not getting an answer to his very reasonable specific follow-up question

For special ops commandos in a war they were literally created to fight, these guys do not seem to have much of a concept of "stranger danger"

"ASKING FOR A FRIEND" omigosh Omega. I have never been so ashamed of you. The big fascist experiment-happy regime is after you. WHY CAN YOU STILL NOT LIE

Why is Omega just. In charge now

And still the most unbelievable thing about this episode was like half a minute in with Crosshair willingly helping a random Pabuan AND not mercing them when they dared to smile, thank him, and use his name

HOWEVER MANY EPISODES IN AND WE JUST GOT TO THE ANSWER THAT EVERYBODY ALREADY KNEW ABOUT M-COUNTS

WAY TOO MANY EPISODES IN AND WE STILL DIDN'T GET A STRAIGHT-UP ANSWER ABOUT OMEGA'S

Qui-gon had a blood test! With a little litmus stick and everything! The crazy weed-addicted space monk had a scientific stick he jabbed baby Anakin with and HEY PRESTO M-COUNT SPREADSHEET. WHERE IS THAT HANDY BIT OF TECHNOLOGY HUH

#bad batch season 3 #star wars #the bad batch #funny #tbb season 3 spoilers #spoilers #the bad batch season 3 spoilers

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kaleidoscope1967eyes · 1 year

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Daily Luke Thoughts™

Having grown up on a desert planet, it's a given that Luke has never seen a body of water larger than the collection tank of a moisture vaporator

He knew about lakes and oceans via educational holovids but he honestly didn't think they were real

How could they be? Why would a planet hold on to so much water when other planets need it so badly?

Poor baby doesn't understand the concept of aquatic ecosystems

It's so funny when he absolutely loses his mind seeing a pond for the first time on Yavin IV

"Can you believe how much water that is? It's not even drying up! That could last us weeks!"

When you point out the pond is home to living things, he is in awe

So many fish, so many frogs, so many creatures he doesn't even know, and it's all so beautiful!

It's teeming with so much life, yet the water doesn't run out--Luke has no idea how that's even possible

Don't get me started on rain

Luke first hears the sound of rain while he's working on his ship in the hangar of the Great Temple, and he's really confused

When he goes outside to check it out, he practically has a heart attack

There's water??? Falling from the sky???

He's mesmerized; he's getting soaked, but he can't pull himself to go back inside

He's laughing and hollering like a little kid, and it's so cute and wholesome

"What are you waiting for, Y/N? Come join me!"

He gives you that adorable look, so of course you have to join him

Now you're both acting like little kids, giggling like crazy as you run around and splash in puddles

Remember how crazy rain was? Now it's time for the OCEAN

Luke sees an ocean for the first time when he and the gang are stationed on Naboo

Mr. Moisture Farmer would probably PASS OUT

Unfortunately, he learns about salt water the hard way

Han laughs at him as he's aggressively trying to spit out the giant gulp of water he took

Waves both fascinate and TERRIFY him

He's a little nervous at first, so he settles for standing at the shore as the tiny waves gently crash against his legs

It's a really nice feeling, so maybe he can handle going in deeper!

NOPE

You hear a pathetic yelp and immediately know what's happening

Luke is splashing around like a little puppy, but thankfully he's still in pretty shallow water, so you have no trouble wading out to 'save' him

"...Do you even know how to swim?" "Does it look like I know how to swim? I'm from a literal desert planet!"

You decide to go easy on him and teach him the basics of not drowning

It takes a while, but he eventually gets the hang of it

Han, Leia, and Chewie join you guys and you all get into a giant splash war

Have fun helping Chewie take a bath after

Also:

#AT LAST THIS HAS RETURNED #Daily Luke Thoughts™#idk which medium i like better (paragraphs or bullet points)#luke skywalker x reader #luke skywalker x you #luke skywalker headcanon #luke skywalker imagine

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anewstartrekfan · 9 months

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Finished Star Trek TAS today and I got contemplative about the science fiction genre in movies and tv

For the record, tas was fine overall. You know it’s fun to laugh at the animation errors I did plenty of that. But it’s decent 70s kids fair. I wouldn’t put it on for kids today mind you, I’d just show Star Trek prodigy, but still. It very much is a product of its time. However at the same time it demonstrates the biggest hurdle sci fi has faced throughout the ages. The obsession with scale over characters.

There’s a tendency in sci fi where when the people working on a given story get seemingly unlimited resources to make a thing look as epic and grand of scale as possible, they focus on that over making the characters interesting and worth caring about. Not always, but generally it happens a lot. You see it with the big three, Star Wars, Star Trek, and Doctor Who. To pick on Doctor who for a minute, they pour buckets of money on explosions and guest stars and having a golem Doctor show up in their season 3 grand finale but the episode that season that’s regarded as peak fiction is the one where the monsters don’t even move on screen. They’re literally just statues.

Star Wars has both the prequel and and sequel trilogies for me to point to as evidence of this. For the prequels it was look at our awesome special effects and fight scenes. Oh shit we forgot make the overarching story understandable and matter to the cast before the third movie. And the case of the sequels also have consistent character development and themes. Oops.”

And lastly Star Trek. While my favorite episode is conscience of the king, my second is the empath. The most cash strapped episode of the show. It was filmed almost entirely on a black stage ffs. And yet I felt more emotion watching Kirk, Spock, and McCoy risk their lives and be willing to die for each other than I did watching agent seven and his cat hack a spaceship in 1968 Florida while Kirk and Spock stalk them.

The reason completing tas brought on this thought process was there were many writers who jumped at the chance to work on this show because of the lack of limitations of live action. Their only limit was their imagination and the 24 minute runtime. And as a result they got so caught up in the spectacle of “look at this cool new alien threat/concept,” that most of the time they forgot or didn’t have time to give the characters anything to do besides solve the problem. Or just rehash old episode ideas. But listen, they could’ve had good character interactions within 24 minutes. Doctor who is the easy one to point at but honestly if we jump forward a couple decades, (and genres) Batman and Superman tas managed to have self contained 20ish minute episodes with heart for the recurring cast. It’s not impossible to do.

Star Trek, Doctor Who, and Star Wars, were not successful just because they had cool sci fi ideas, costumes, and special effects that could be merchandised into eternity. They have endured for so long because people are invested in these characters. And if you cannot convince people to care about the characters outside of pop culture recognizability, then you will not retain an audience through the weaker stories, regardless of how much money you sank into how nice the ship looks. Instead it is doomed to fizzle out. For a contemporary example outside of movies, look at Netflix’s Voltron.

Last example and then I’m done. Netflix’s voltron perfectly displayed how you can get an audience invested in a cast of characters and then squander it because the producers/writers didn’t care about character development. After season 2 stuff stopped being character driven and started going “well the writers wanted to tell a gritty, depressing war story.” And in the end what was once one of the most popular Netflix shows is now only ever discussed in the same vain as game of thrones. Just wasted potential and missed opportunities.

I’ll end this rambling blog by repeating that imo low budget character driven sci fi is better than high budget sci fi focused on worldbuilding and cool shit you can do because of special effects or the fact it’s a cartoon. Limitations help make some of the best stories out there because they force you to think outside the box.

And it pains me that after so long a lot of the people who write this stuff don’t get that.

#star trek #star trek tos #Star Trek tas #doctor who #Star Wars #sci fi #meta #voltron legendary defender #Star Trek meta

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cybertron-after-dark · 9 months

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Tfa lore headcanon dump

Mostly spurred by bits of existing lore in the comics and the Allspark Almanac

-The Autobots don't have visual arts, but they do have music. Unfortunately the only really accepted form of music they have is propaganda songs, and only through a few state sanctioned musicians (Windy and Rosanna being the big ones). There's a pretty big emphasis on their voices being crafted specifically for singing, whereas the layman shouldn't bother trying, stigmatized as "nobody wanting to hear that."

-Conversely, the Decepticons don't really have music, the closest thing they have being spoken word poetry. They do have some degree of visual arts, the most prominent being statues, though most of those are specifically as memorials. After the war, especially after the attacks from the omega sentinels, a lot of the bodies of the fallen were unrecoverable, and a pretty big part of cybertronian funerals (especially military) involves showing the empty shell before it's recycled into more living metal, so rather than try to hold the funeral without being able to see who's being honored, or, in really bad cases, without even having a body to recycle, a statue would be erected by someone close to the deceased as a proxy of sorts for the real body. Originally they'd be recycled as the bodies they mimic were, but for particularly notable figures, it became common practice to leave the statue up so the mech it honors may live on through its image.

-Blitzwing singing is a result of being brought online in a colony world that innovated on the more common practice of spoken word poetry with wild tones and pitches for emphasis. It sorta evolved into singing naturally, but it didn't catch on back on Cybertron proper until later, during the war, long after Decepticon culture split from Autobot, and it didn't evolve to add instrumentals until even later (which is why Megatron is unfamiliar with music as a concept until he gets to earth, even though Blitzwing sings all the time.)

-energon and oil usually come in different forms and blends with different tastes, but the military grade stuff is usually all the same cubes and barrels. The horde of it in the crashed Decepticon warship Optimus lost Elita-1 in wasnt military grade, it was what war mechs pooling their resources could afford on a less-than-affluent budget. Pretty much all the cheap stuff Megatron bought out early on in the war before it got to be in shorter supply. It was basically an abandoned Costco full of cup ramen.

-Empurata and other reformatting based punishments used to be commonplace before the war, but phased out when the higher ups caught wind that tensions were rising and the Decepticons were gaining traction. The last thing they needed was to seem more brutal or unfair than they were already being accused of. That being said, it was still in practice when the Decepticons had just started. Shockwave and Lugnut were both sentenced to empurata for the same incident, when they were both caught loudly shouting over each other at a protest about who's a bigger heretic in Megatron's honor, which eventually turned into a fistfight, and ended with a crater in the ground when Lugnut accidentally set off an early model of his Punch of Kill Everything. Next thing they knew, they were both cyclopses with claws where their hands used to be. They've hated each other ever since and learned nothing. At least Lugnut got an updated POKE after the beta version was confiscated.

-Warframes were not paid fairly, usually treated as disposable, and their only choices for work were usually low paying manual labor, law enforcement, gladiator matches, or getting shipped off to fight and die so wealthy Autobots could have a new vacation spot after they've cleaned up the corpses they had to make to get it. The Decepticons honestly had every reason to revolt. Its also the direct reason Decepticons in general seem to be an army of freaks and weirdos; The Autobots really ingrained the whole "nameless, faceless cog in the machine" thing into warframes, so the cons started a culture that leaned into the parts of them that may be considered deviant, undesirable or "defective" in a drone.

-Nonspeaking beastformers are still sentient, and sparkless drones aren't really considered "alive," so the concept of nonsapient animals is a little foreign to most cybertronians, though not completely unprecedented. It took team prime a good while before they realized animals couldnt really grasp what they were saying. Even more foreign is living beings eating each other, because the drones and beastformers only really fuel up on straight energon, same as everyone else. The first time Prowl saw a dog eat a squirrel completely uprooted his worldview, but as much as it shook him, it didn't break his love of nature.

-The sapience of beastformers seriously complicates the ethics of Autobots keeping pets (which is commonplace among Cybertron's wealthy). For a bot with a beast mode and no voice synthesizer, your only real job prospects are exceedingly simple gruntwork, farm work, scavenging, or getting to hang around some rich douchebot's estate all day at the cost of your dignity and what few rights you had.

-Cybertronians don't really feel sleepy on a regular cycle the way humans do, but dedicating a solid chunk of time to powering down and giving their systems a rest is generally considered necessary for the sake of conserving fuel. Failing to do so usually ends in overheating and sometimes system crashing, which feels more like being way too hyper until you hit the wall and pass out than slowly nodding off, but it can be staved off with coolant and refueling.

-the constructions are not the only mechs to be weirdly attracted to random earth vehicles, they're just the only ones who can't keep it behind their panels, so to speak. Every transformer who has set foot in earth, whether they be Autobot or Decepticon, mech or fem, young or old, has had a big stupid crush on at least ONE earth vehicle. Whether they want to admit it or not.

#tfa #transformers animated #maccadam

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sagesilentfire · 3 months

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I saw your opinions regarding Morningmark and I wanna ask, how do you feel about his Ship War Au and Starco Citadel stuff?

Personally, I never cared for it because of how starco biased they bother were. But I did like the concept of a fankid multiverse.

No opinion. Not really invested in any fankids, they always felt like cheap attempts at shipping fodder for me. (And not even good shipping fodder. Just blatantly shoving your OC into things and pretending it makes the story any better? Where's the themes? The status-quo breakage? How does it affect the world?)

Honestly, basically the only fankids I like are the Pines triplets (children of Mabel and an OC) from Gravity Falls' Transcendence AU, because they fit with the story's themes of growing older, and how Dipper will never be able to do that again. They are characters in their own right, but more than that they are excuses to see how the main characters deal with parenting, and where their flaws and weaknesses translate to actual parenting issues that make sense for them. Their personalities are mirrors to which we can understand the main characters better, and their arcs follow the story's themes. (And I was introduced to them when I was young and wasn't immediately turned off by years' worth of fankids just being fun mix-and-match OCs with no connection to the thematic part of the stories they came from. I do admit bias.)

I suspect JessTheVampire's fankids are similar, but I have untreated attention deficit problems and no free time, so I've never actually read her story.

But I did read the Citadel comics; it was impossible not to be active in the svtfoe fandom and not read them, after all. And they... were more of the same. The Citadel itself was far too sci-fi and had no connection to the story of the actual show, the main, non-fankid characters of svtfoe were non-entities, and the story was basically an excuse to dick around with characters the creator was clearly enamored with but that I didn't care about.

And the Ship War comics... *shudders* They somehow outdid the show for stupid shipping nonsense. I don't know how that's possible, but they did it. But even worse, they mischaracterized just about everyone, especially my fave, Toffee. I've gone over this already. I've talked about this already. But it still stings. Man.

I know fankids don't have to be that deep and it's completely fine if people ignore my thoughts on what makes a good fankid and just do what they want. But it's also perfectly fine for me to bitch about it.

Anyway, yeah, don't like fankids. Sorry.

(Also from now on I'll be tagging it #morning mark salt because I suspect his fans are looking him up and then seeing my posts and getting mad at them.)

#queue queue #svtfoe #svtfoe critical #svtfoe negativity #svtfoe salt #fankid critical #fankid salt #idk what to tag this #i'm being a bitch about fankids #transcendence au did it right tho #morning mark salt

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lacrimosathedark · 2 years

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Hey Bat fandom, can we like, stop pushing for BatJokes in mainline comics?

EDIT: DISCLAIMER FOR CLARITY: I am not attempting to criticize people who ship these characters. It is strictly a critique of the concept of a reciprocal romantic relationship between these two characters being canonized and people wanting that specifically. I am not shaming anyone for enjoying or entertaining the idea of this pairing.

Look, I’m far from the last person to say there’s nothing there; I literally have a whole word document dedicated to evidence for the argument that Joker is in love with Batman (which I made out of spite because I mentioned it in passing and my cousin thought I was crazy heck you man I’m right).

And honestly, I love Elseworlds where it could be moderately plausible. The Telltale games, for example, put a truly fascinating spin on their dynamic that makes reciprocation believable, even likely. White Knight does this pretty well too. And Lego Batman makes it fucking adorable.

But here’s the thing, those are Elseworlds. All of them, Joker shows his inherently redeeming qualities. In Telltale he’s basically led astray and you can, in essence save him from becoming a psychotic mass murderer we know the Joker as. In White Knight, he is extremely mentally ill, but is temporarily “cured”, and while still a manipulative bastard, shows a great deal of love and compassion and determination to make things right. These set up Joker to be much more morally gray than he is in most media. Lego Batman is accurate but also cutesy and sanitized, so Joker is very much a precious little bean instead of...y’know...an insane murder clown.

If the Arkham games have one strong point, it’s nailing this relationship. Joker is absolutely in love with and attracted to Batman. And while Bruce is obsessed with Joker to extreme and unhealthy degrees, he feels no affection for him whatsoever. He doesn’t like the Joker.

Which is my point. Joker, while not entirely lacking redeeming qualities, is inherently irredeemable. He’s the definition of a psychotic mass murderer. And everything he’s done to Bruce specifically cannot be ignored.

The biggest things that come to mind are The Killing Joke, A Death in the Family (as well as the N52 shitshow that was Death OF the Family), his BatCat Wedding bullshit, and Joker War. But that’s not even half of the things he’s done to cause him grief.

And look, I’m not saying Bruce doesn’t have a kind of intimate connection with Joker. He most certainly does. But intimate is not inherently loving. Remember, he basically accidentally created Joker when the man tripped or jumped into that vat of acid trying to escape Batman. And Bruce has an extremely severe guilt complex. So Joker is, and always will be, Batman’s responsibility.

Because I cannot see this man loving the guy who paralyzed his almost-daughter, tortured one of his best friends, brutally murdered his son, mind-controlled his eldest son, attacked his entire family, nearly killed his fiancee, and stole pretty much everything from under him while terrorizing his city.

Give them a different history, sure. Find a way to redeem the Joker, even better. I’m a fan of Elseworlds where they can have mutual romantic chemistry.

But it just doesn’t work within main comics. They don’t express mutual interest. And Joker has repeatedly expressed “love” with abuse. It has no potential to be healthy with the canon we currently have.

#BatJokes #sort of #Batman #Bruce Wayne #Joker #not really anti but not not anti #I like BatJokes in a very specific set of circumstances and there only #Anti-BatJokes #also sort of #but in case people want to avoid this I'm adding it

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cruciomione · 5 months

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"About the Blogger" Meme

Thanks for tag @bioloyg <3

Star Sign(s): Scorpio Sun (I literally never remember my other ones, I should probably memorize them)

Favorite Holidays: Christmas and Halloween. even tho i find it harder to feel the holiday spirit up until the very last minute i love christmas so much. and not even to be corny but its true that when you grow up you start to care less about the presents and more about the memories with family and friends.

i grew up in a religous family so my parents didnt let me celebrate halloween but i still love it with my whole heart. im a november baby so i love fall and all things eerie and spooky.

Last Meal: McDonalad's snack wrap and one of those new fruit splash drinks. its exam season so ofc im eating like shit. will probably eat some ice cream when i get home after my physiology exam in 30 minutes. so yay to junk food

Current Favorite Musician: currently ive been really enjoying pinkpantheress. her new album is literally 10/10. she has such a knack for melodies, and her lyrics are very eerie and poetic while maintaining a cutesy 2000s vibe. shes also a sampling queen.

honoarble mentions: ive been listening to a lot of janet, rosalia and red velvet these days too.

Last Music Listened To: feedback by janet Jackson. bro istg you have to clear the area when this comes on, i cant help but dance

Last Movie Watched: last movie i watched was bride wars. honestly a classic movie, so funny and i love wedding movies so i reccomend it. that was a month ago tho, which is crazy.

Last TV Show Watched: like the wonderful person who tagged me i watched the bear last. i just rewatched s02e01. ive been doing this thing where i'll either rewatch episodes for research, boredom or just because i get sucked in rewatching a specific clip that makes me want to rewatch the whole episode.

Last Book/Fic Finished: last fic i finished was keeping up with the berzattos by chefskiss40 on ao3. ive reread it like 3 or 4 times now and im patiently waiting for an update. its just so good, i love the domestic vibes. im not a fan of seeing my ships start families in canon but in fic? oh i could read that forever

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: not really abandoned but sorta modified? the sydcarmy high school au i started in the summer was a good concept but i didnt really have a concrete idea where the overall story would go. BUT im planning on maybe doing a series which is just a collection of one shots of them in HS? OR i plan on doing a multi-chapter shorter story that is an AU that also takes place in a high school setting but with a twist that i dont want to reveal bc that would mean i would have to commit to it. lol

Currently Reading: nothing. unless you count all these articles/research papers I've been reading for my health research studies course (think i aced the exam yesterday so maybe all the pain was worth it)

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: doesnt really count as research but basically i was on pinterest creating boards for 3 different fics. was researching wedding dresses for a nat & syd fic where they go wedding dress shopping (will be finishing after my last exam). also just creating two other boards to inspire myself to start the au i teased above and my bones and all AU/retelling i talked about last month. i want to watch some more cannibalism media and maybe research about 80s pop culture and politics before i dive into that one fully.

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: ummmm probably just being a menace on twitter with my friends that i made through being a reveluv. we talk every single day, and they are some of the best people i know. maybe the times we used to get up early or stay up late for comeback season, watch the kcharts being updated hourly and crack jokes about group we liked and didnt like

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: technically THG is having a resurgence right now but im way too into the bear to really get back into it and also i havent seen the new movie. im excited to once exam season is done but i feel like the hype is already dying so i dont see myself getting too into it.

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: uhhhh cant think of one tbh.

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: honestly every sydcarmy fic idea i have that would take multi chapters to flesh out. one shots are very safe for me. but im praying i'll commit to it. esp the bones and all AU lol

this was fun

tagging some ppl to do this too, only if you want!

@amieraisposting @chefkids @sennenrose @sydneys-adamu @sydneyscarm @happylikeasadsong @chansoooo1-blog

#about meme #ask to tag #fun distraction from this exam #wish me luck

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fadedapparition · 2 years

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i think there’s plenty of other ways to read it, but based on how i interpret it, the relationship between sten and the warden is my favorite romance in the dragon age trilogy bar none. it is not textually explicit. there are no sten kisses; there is no sten sex (stenx?). but the way these characters grow alongside one another before their inevitable separation is so painfully gorgeous.

and i honestly think it's stronger for the fact that the warden's relationship with sten is dissimilar from the official romances of origins, because the way sten expresses love differs from how non-qunari characters might. it's not as if he doesn't experience it, or that the warden has to teach him what love is or anything silly like that; this isn't the cliched narrative wherein a stoic, foreign-y alien has to be shown human feelings by a character with more western cultural coding. sten already has a sophisticated, if less familiar, conception of love and commitment - it’s just that the major way in which it differs, the lack of any linkage between romantic love and sexual intimacy, is also the only thing that separates a bioware “romance option” from a regular companion. all the other traditional signifiers of romantic love are there. he tells the warden she's smart, competent, and valuable, both in her role as a warden and to him as a person. they share artwork and wax lyrical about turtles. he disobeys his orders for her. he tells her he trusts her with his life. despite any cultural gulf, the linguistic expression of love is the same in common, elvish, and qunlat: he calls her "my heart."

the final conversation the warden has with him is one of the most beautiful and crushing parts of origins to me. in it, he tells her he's leaving by ship for par vollen, and she can promise to meet him at the docks to go with him. both the warden and sten are fully aware that they're lying to one another here. following him to par vollen is impossible: he's expected to report back to his superiors, and especially if the warden is a(n unshackled) mage, the most likely outcome if she goes to par vollen is her immediate capture and execution. when sten eventually does return home, he's subject to re-education, not because he's abandoned the qun but because as strong as his politics and sense of patriotism still are, his feelings for the warden threaten to supersede them. to the qunari state, love for someone who also lives within the auspices of the qun is benign, but love for anyone who exists externally to it poses a political threat - and the warden can't become viddathari to remedy that, even if she wants to.

there is no way for them to abandon their roles, and they cannot abide by them while remaining with one another, but they cling to the fantasy that a life together is possible until the very last moment. sten loves her, so he makes promises he knows he can't fulfill, with the exception of one: that when they find themselves on opposite sides of a battle in an inevitable, cataclysmic global war, he will see her and turn away.

tl;dr sten and the warden have a gorgeous tragic romance and you can not change my mind

#dragon age meta #dragon age #dragon age origins #sten #they MUST put sten in da4 and let my surana exchange longing miserable glances with him from across the battlefield. its NECESSARY.

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babacontainsmultitudes · 1 year

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♫ you dont have to answer this especially if you already have a ton but lllllllincoln li-wilson,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i am a simple man

SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO GET TO THIS I WANTED TO BE REASONABLY THOROUGH (AND YES I DO HAVE TO ANSWER THIS ACTUALLY!!!)

*breathes* heh. This might be a tad long, so let's go to my super secret Lincoln Li Wilson fan club under the cut

-oh right, the password! No problem it's

SAY HI TO YOUR DAD FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

HEH. WELCOME TO THE COOLEST CLUB IN THE FANDOM, POPULATION YOU AND ME.

okokokokokok so so so so well I guess what I realized is that, while I have many songs for this boy- err technically a lot of them are in a shippy sorta context?? But I don't wanna, well, I don't wanna hit you with anything that is too, like, "ship-dependent" cause I don't know what you do or don't ship!

*That said*- my fucking gothcleats playlist dude? I'm handing it to you anyways cause I have FEELINGS about every single one of these fucking songs and imo honestly you can interpret most of them in a completely non romantic context anyways also also almost all of them are from Linc's perspective for me so I think you'd genuinely still appreciate at least some of these. All *that* said, I will be picking a few from this playlist to talk about that really aren't that romance-coded if at all buuuut are gonna be about Scary to some degree.

Oh- my swiftli playlist you ask??? IT'S SO FUCKING STUPID DUDE. It's so dumb like it's so silly like it's almost purely vibes and the vibes are really really dumb but yesss I'm handing you this one as well I'm not saying the songs don't slap but they're still very stupiddddd.

OK on to some fucking songs yeah???? So I guess the first one I'll start with is:

"Angel With A Shotgun" by The Cab

Which, okay, before I even get to the lyrics like come ON am I wrong for thinking that even just that fucking name is the most Lincoln Li Wilson thing in the whole god damn world??

But yeah, I mean lyrically really this one has a lot going for it as a Lincoln song, but to point out a few particular lyrics that stand out to me:

////

If love's a fight, then I shall die With my heart on a trigger

They say before you start a war You better know what you're fighting for

If love is what you need, a soldier I will be

I'm an angel with a shotgun, fighting 'til the war's won I don't care if heaven won't take me back I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe

Sometimes to win, you've got to sin Don't mean I'm not a believer

And I'm gonna hide, hide, hide my wings tonight

////

😤 This one really gives me extra feels after the last episode, I gotta say! :0 As far as like pure imagery goes I think some strange combination of an angel and a soldier is just *so* Lincoln. There's just these really interesting themes with Lincoln of like, devotion, and sacrifice, and perseverance, and making tough decisions! Especially to help those around you! This song really just captures that for me.

Okay, next!

"Hit The Floor" by Linkin Park (more like Lincoln Park am I right sorry sorry)

Right right, where to start with this one... This one captures two primary concepts for me. It's partially, like, confrontation between Linc and Scary, from his perspective. But actually, I think you could also interpret some of these as relating to his frustrations with Grant as well! Otherwise, I like this one cause I think it captures Linc's ability to like, totally turn the tables and flip the switch when you least expect it? Seriously, that boy is quick on his feet (heh soccer heh), and always has a trick up his sleeve. Here's a few lyrics:

////

One minute, you're on top! The next you're not, missed your shot You think you won, and then it's all gone

So many people like me put so much trust in all your lies So concerned with what you think to just say what we feel inside So many people like me walk on eggshells all day long All I know is that all I want is to feel like I'm not stepped on

What goes up will surely fall, and I'm countin' down the time 'Cause I've had so many stand-offs with you, it's about as much as I can stand So I'm waitin' until the upper hand is mine

I know I'll never trust a single thing you say You knew your lies would divide us, but you lied anyway And all the lies have got you floating up above us all But what goes up has got to fall

////

I guess Mike Shinoda is just *the* Linc artist for me, cause this next one is from him as well!

"Believe Me" by Fort Minor

:0 Also about Linc's confrontations with Scary, but with a different flavor! Here I think it's more retrospective, at least in part, in reference to how Linc used to look up to Scary in some sense, and trusted her and all that. Otherwise, there's obviously some narrative parallels going on between these two, particularly with regards to the evolution of their mental/emotional states, which I think some of these lines nod to as well:

...Yeah it's really basically the entire song for this one ahahaha what can I say it's good shit

////

You like fun and games? Keep playing 'em I'm just saying, think back then, we was like one and the same On the right track, but I was on the wrong train Just like that, now you gotta face the pain And the devil's got a fresh new place to play And in your brain, like a maze you can never escape the rain Every damn day is the same shade of grey

Hey, I used to have a little bit of plan Used to have a concept of where I stand But that concept slipped right out of my hand Now, I don't really even know who I am Yo, what do I have to say? Maybe I should do what I have to do to break free And whatever happens to you, we'll see But it's not gonna happen with me

I guess that this is where we've come to If you don't want to, then you don't have to believe me But I won't be there when you go down Just so you know now, you're on your own now, believe me

Back then, I thought you were just like me Somebody who could see all the pain I see But you proved to me unintentionally That you would self destruct eventually Now I'll be thinking like the mistake I made doesn't hurt But it's not gonna work 'cause it's really much worse Than I thought, I wished you were something you were not And now this guilt is really all that I got

////

ALRIGHT. Let me leave you with one that's just for Linc. I won't bother with specific lyrics for this one, this song slaps (I think!), you gotta give it a listen.

"Galvanize" by The Chemical Brothers

Linc calls the shots in this fucking podcast, you know this, I know this. That's what this one is about.

#“Lincoln Park” is very funny actually I should have doubled down on that #I hope you end up liking some of these!!!#IT WAS A PLEASURE BTW #SORRY I TOOK SO LONG #BUT EVEN IF I HAD A MILLION I STILL WOULDA DONE IT #EVERY LINC NEEDS A TAYLOR AFTER ALL #HEH #lincoln li wilson #dndads #dndads playlist #dungeons and daddies #feymarche #gothcleats #swiftli #scary marlowe #taylor swift #not that one #Countless yours is next I swear!!!

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trillscienceofficer · 1 year

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this is quite random i'll admit, but your latest post got me thinking: if there would have been a proper crossover between ds9 and voy (not just a cameo like in the pilot), what would you have wanted it to be plotwise?

oh that's a very very good question! Honestly I'm not even sure if I'd want a proper, non-permanent (like, no one from DS9 gets stuck on Voyager) crossover episode, because imho it's hard to make them work well. But I can still see several options here:

it's a pre-Caretaker situation: we see the (OG) Voyager crew get the help of several officers and the Defiant in order to sneak up on the Maquis (Chakotay, B'Elanna and Tuvok), which we also follow as they try to outmaneuver Starfleet. I would love to see where Sisko and (a just promoted) Janeway agree and disagree on how to be in command, and I would love to also learn what kind of history Chakotay and B'Elanna (and Seska!) had with DS9 (did they know about Eddington? were they already receiving help from Kasidy Yates?). In any case at some point the Defiant leaves the Badlands and the events of Caretaker take place anyway

a random wormhole/space irregularity/whatever brings Voyager to the Gamma Quadrant and they immediately almost end up destroyed by the Dominion (which they only vaguely know about), has to hide in a nebula/land on a planet but ta-dahh! it's the Defiant who responds to the distress signal! Except they also almost get destroyed, and the two crews have to help one another to get back on their feet. The specifics depend on when this happens of course—if it's before "Message in a Bottle" the crew would have to learn about the war from the DS9 people and I can't imagine that going over well, especially with the former Maquis. In any case I can see a lot of tension between crews (in a "we were trying to get home and now you are in a war that killed our friends!" vs "you guys disappeared without a trace so you don't have a right to tell us that we made mistakes"). The kicker is that this would be a good opportunity for Voyager to finally get to the AQ but they realize there's no way they could sneak Voyager past Dominion forces towards the Bajoran wormhole, and they can't duplicate the cloak for such a big ship, so in the end the Defiant can only help Voyager go back to DQ (honestly heartwrenching just thinking about this lol)

This is not exactly a crossover, but: DS9 is a hub of research for wormholes for obvious reasons so what if we shelve the whole thing with Barclay and have Voyager contact the station instead? there could just be fun occasional interactions between the officers from the two shows I think.

Now what interactions would I like to see the most? Sisko and Janeway as I've said, Chakotay and B'Elanna reacting to pretty much all the DS9 Starfleet officers on one hand and to Kira and Odo on the other. I really, really would like to see Benjamin's reaction to Seven of Nine too, although I'm afraid it would be rather painful for him still. But I think he'd also be interested in hearing about a former drone that managed to escape. On a lighter note I would love to see Jadzia grinning her way into challenging Tom at a game of dares (and winning every one). Tuvok and Worf would HATE the madness of having two crews of strong personalities interact so much, and I kinda want to see them both and Julian work together on something. Perhaps Harry and Miles (and B'Elanna too, unless she is refusing to speak with the people from DS9) can have a nice chat about how hard it is to keep a ship/station running in such difficult conditions. If you want to hear people yelling I think you should probably pair Kira and Seven because they would NOT get along at all imho. There is just. SO much stuff that can be said and I haven't even touched upon!! A crossover like this is such an ambitious concept and I'm sure I forgot half the stuff that I wanted to say

#thank you so much for the v interesting question!!#askbox #voy #ds9

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loversj0y · 2 years

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i dont smoke

pairing: c!wilbur x reader (no use of y/n)

summary: reminiscing while smoking - the habit wilbur stopped and started.

tws: smoking, toxic partners, burning someone with a cigarette, fighting, abuse, cursing, mentions of war and insanity, mentions of bombings, blood, death. let me know if i forgot anything

author's note: hey, this is basically a pure angst song fic. this entire thing was inspired by the song i dont smoke by mitski. listening to the song is really important to understand the vibe i think. my favorite version of the song is the audiotree live version but you can also listen to the regular version. this takes place shortly after wilbur dies in l'manberg. this also becomes very tommy heavy at the end bc i love him. anyway, blame @lyssys for this actually being posted.

word count: 3.5k

“I thought you quit smoking.”

The last five words Tommy had spoken to me flickered back into my brain as I took a slow inhale of my cigarette. The habit was a nasty one. I knew it was. But it brought me back. Back to him.

“Careful- careful! You don’t want to burn yourself!” Wilbur laughed at me as I narrowly avoided burning my finger with the match.

We were young still. Back before any concepts of war concerned either of us. When the most dangerous thing we could really do was have fun.

I remember laughing back at him and blowing smoke in his face.

“Oh, please, you know I'll be fine. I'm stronger than you seem to give me credit for.” (I wish I could still live in a time where that was a playful brag and not a war-starting taunt.)

When he’d looked back at me that day, I knew he’d ruin the world for me somehow. Our lips connected in the type of kiss that only at-risk young adults really know how to perfect, the scent of ash and smoke entangled with our lips and hair in the days before it meant an oncoming death.

Still, here I sat. Against the rubble of a city we’d once built and loved together. The dust hasn't fully settled around L’Manburg yet, and I honestly wonder if it ever truly will. The rubble echoed with memories of Wilbur and I, and as I released the smoke in my lungs, I tasted him on me. Wilbur always tried to quit, and he always did, until he didn’t. Until –

“You really should take a break, you know,'' I grinned slightly as I walked over to where Wilbur had stationed himself – a tiny corner of L’Manberg we used to use for alone time, or to watch the sunset with Tommy.

He looked up at me for barely a second before looking back at his maps and pages, “I will, I will. i’m finishing up now.”

I sat next to him, starting to stack the pages he wasn’t using, “Mm-hmm. sure you were, love.” I leaned my head on his shoulder, pressing a gentle kiss to it, the only light illuminating us being the small lantern at his side. I closed my eyes for a moment, slowly taking a deep breath.

“You smoked.” I said simply.

He looked up at me, a deer caught in headlights. He stammered for a moment before just sighing out a soft “yeah.”

“What's up, love? You were doing so good,” I frowned lightly, holding him a bit closer.

He pulled the pack of cigarettes from his pocket, sighing softly, “I know. It’s just- it’s the stress. Everyone is expecting me to have everything together and to lead them in this war, and I don’t even know what I’m doing here anymore, I'm scared I'm going to fail everyone. And I'm scared for everyone fighting for us because they have lives, and they could lose them over what could be a fruitless cause. And I’m scared for Tommy, he’s not great at fighting, and I'm scared they’re going to target him because of it. And I'm scared for you, because I love you too much to be able to lose you, but if they know how much I love you, they will target you. Are you sure you won’t let me ship you and Tommy off until after the war?” He let out a deep breath after his rant, and he looked almost deflated, as the relief lifted from his chest.

I grabbed his hand gently, squeezing it three times, “I’m sure. I’m not letting you risk your life for our home alone. I love you too much to be able to lose you too. We take this risk together. As for everything else, I can watch over Tommy when the time comes. And everyone knows their lives are at stake. They believe in this cause, Wilbur. We all do,” I gently brushed some hair from his face, “and you don’t need to have all the answers. The people wouldn’t let you lead if they didn’t trust you, so as long as you are doing what you think is best, you’re not failing anyone.” I brought my hand up, lightly cupping his cheek.

He set his papers down, fully leaning his face into my hand.

“Thank you,” he whispered, softly kissing my palm. My only reply was a gentle kiss. We stayed there together, basking in moonlight with my arms wrapped around his waist as I held him. After a few moments, I spoke up softly, “you know, since we quit together, if you get a cheat cig, I think I get one too.”

He laughed, looking down at me like I was joking. Until I grabbed the pack, standing quickly and running. Then, he tried to look mad, but the grin and playful glint in his eyes couldn’t be beat. He stood, running after me. Due to his height, he caught me quickly, arms wrapping around my waist as he lifted me. We were both laughing and out of breath, and he took the pack from my hands, tossing it somewhere behind him. He kept his arms around me, peppering kisses on my shoulders.

He panted slightly for a moment, taking a deep breath and turning me to face him. He gently cupped my cheek, “you’re going to be the death of me, darling.” He leaned in, gently kissing me under the pale glow of the moon and the lanterns.

If only we’d known how truthful he had actually been that day. That was my second favorite day throughout the war, other than the day we’d won. The war had been tough and draining and traumatizing, but despite all of that, I got Wilbur to laugh. His laugh was probably the thing I missed the most about him. His real laugh, though. Not the laugh he’d developed after all the trauma really began to affect him. The laugh from the day I knew I'd be his forever.

“Come on! hurry!“ Wilbur yelled at me from in the water, “it’s almost midnight!”

It was freezing, first of all. Both my feet stayed planted in the frigid water of the lake. L’Manburg was a newly formed area, a place where we felt free and happy. It was just the people we loved and felt free with. And, at midnight, it was my birthday. Hence Wilbur wanting to swim in the lake at midnight. I started to slowly move in deeper as Wilbur continued to yell at me to come in deeper. After I was about hip deep, I looked around to find Wilbur only for him to be… gone. I looked around in a bit of a panic before I felt myself being dragged down, gasping and inhaling way more lake water than a person should ever truly inhale.

When I broke through to the surface, I waded with my feet as I coughed, trying to expel the water from my lungs. Wilbur came up behind me, gently rubbing my back and trying to ensure I was okay. I turned to him, splashing him once I was no longer drowning internally.

“You ass!”

He laughed, the kind of laugh that could make a person fall out of their seat. Wilbur had a laugh that could brighten a room. A laugh that made me feel like everything was going to be alright. He wrapped his arms around me, softly kissing me, apologizing once he pulled away.

I just sighed, a soft smile on my face. I leaned my head onto his chest, holding onto him as we waded in the water. He rubbed my back softly, kissing the top of my head.

“There's a reason I brought you all the way out here, you know.”

I pulled away slightly, looking up at him, “Wilbur, are you about to kill me on my birthday so I have an even life?”

He laughed, and I felt my heart warm at the sound, “no, no, though that would be fairly poetic. You’ll see what I mean soon.”

I just nodded softly. I trusted him. With my everything.

After a few minutes of holding each other close, I could hear a bell ring back by our home. Midnight. Wilbur pulled away from our hug to wrap an arm around my waist and stand next to me.

“Happy birthday, love,” he spoke softly, and not a moment later, an explosion sounded, and the sky filled with any color you could think of. Bright purples, blues, yellows, greens, reds all filled the sky, and I gasped as the fireworks filled the sky. I held onto him as we watched the sky light up, and once it finally ended, I looked back up at Wilbur, “did you do this?”

He grinned softly, “I had some help.” I heard yells of “happy birthday” coming from the shoreline where Tommy and Tubbo both stood, waving wildly. I just laughed, looking back at Wilbur and placing a soft and meaningful kiss on his lips.

“Thank you so much.”

“Hey, that’s not everything. I've got more at home,” he grinned at me, and I felt my heart flutter as he said home. He started swimming, and I swam after him, the only light surrounding us being the light drifting down from the moon in between the trees surrounding us.

We made it back home quickly and separated only to get changed. I was dressed first, shockingly enough, so I went outside for a quick smoke. I leaned against the back wall of our house, a soft smile on my face as I stood in the cool night air. I felt so lucky. This was before the days of war were imminent. when we could still breathe the air at night without having to listen for the nearby crunching of leaves.

I heard Wilbur coming downstairs, and a moment later, the door opened. I knew he was with me once I felt his arms snake around my waist and the scent of smoke, old books, and a hint of musk. I leaned back into him as he kissed the side of my head and spoke softly.

“You were meant for me, darling.” he reached a hand up, grabbing the cigarette from me to take a hit. He turned my face towards his, leaning in slowly before blowing the smoke into my mouth. I inhaled deeply, letting my eyes slip closed. He grinned softly, pecking me on the lips after.

We shared the last of the cigarette together, and only after did he pull away from me. He gently grabbed my hands, smiling softly and kissing my forehead.

“I love you, dear. Happy birthday,” he whispered, gently slipping a ring onto my finger. I looked down and gasped softly. It was delicate and simple and absolutely beautiful.

“What is this?”

“A promise,” he said, gently kissing my hand. “We've got our whole lives ahead of us. But I want to spend the rest of mine with you. And while I think things in the world are too tense for us to be able to be engaged, let alone married, I want to ensure that we have each other until the end of the line.”

I leaned forward, kissing him softly before pressing our foreheads together, “as long as you promise to never leave me alone and wondering where you’ve run off to,” after he nodded with a grin, I spoke softly, “til the end of the line.”

I didn't see that he had a matching ring attached to a chain around his neck, nestled under his shirt. Or that it was always there. I only learned about it when the chain and ring were delivered at my feet by phil, the scent of blood and TNT still laced into it.

Now both adorn my body. The ring around my neck and the ring around my finger, both engraved with initials and that same phrase. until the end of the line. I fiddled with the widower’s ring on my neck for a moment, pressing it into my collar to feel it imprinting onto a small circular scar there. He at least did make true to that promise. He was with me until the end of his line. I took another deep inhale. Every taste of the cigarette brought up memories of him. The end of his line. It was rough as we got towards the end. In hindsight, maybe I could've helped. Noticed the signs earlier. But with everything happening, the constant state of fight or flight, we did end up balancing each other out. Just in the worst ways.

“Well, maybe, if you weren’t so fucking incompetent, Tommy, the plan would’ve actually worked!'' Wilbur's yell rang throughout the ravine in our makeshift home of Pogtopia. Wilbur had been acting strange, though we all had. The stress and fear in our bodies at all times, keeping us constantly on guard, constantly trying to figure out the next move. Like trying to fight a war with no army. However, seeing the look on Tommy's face as his big brother berated him? That was the final straw for me.

I grabbed Wilbur by the arm, pulling him into the room we shared. I locked the door behind us, not that it would do much to conceal the sounds I knew were about to be unleashed.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Wil? Do you have some subconscious need to push away and hurt those that love you?!” I yelled. Maybe I shouldn’t have. But the anger in my chest softened the guilt.

He muttered to himself under his breath – something he’d been doing more often recently – before looking up at me, “this doesn’t concern you. Tommy needs to improve. He just needs someone to be tough on him.” Wilbur went to walk away, and in my rage, I retaliated.

I grabbed the collar of his sweater, pushing him against the wall.

“Wilbur fucking Soot. You listen to me right now because I’m not going to say this again. Do you think I’m a fucking idiot? I know how much you’ve been hurting Tommy, and I don't know what sick delusion you’re living out right now, but listen close because if you don’t you will lose me. If you need to be mean, be mean to me. Not fucking Tommy. I can take it, I can put it inside of me and keep it there, I am stronger than you give me credit for. If you need to hurt something, you hurt me. If I see you even lay a fucking finger on Tommy, I will turn you in to Schlatt personally. You got that?” I was seething, and he looked barely affected. Instead of a reply, he pulled out a cigarette and lit it. I didn't move, waiting for my answer. After taking a long drag, he pressed the lit end of the cigarette to my collar bone. I flinched ever so slightly, but I refused to move. “I know that hurts you, darling, you don’t have to lie to me,” he laughed — something dark and menacing these days.

“It feels fantastic. The burn is good as long as it means you’re keeping it on me, not Tommy.”

He hummed softly, taking another hit from the cigarette and blowing it in my face.

“Fine,” he acquiesced finally, and I released his collar. He straightened himself out, grabbing my arm. He leaned against my arm for a moment, and I held him up as the rage slowly left my body. We both took a few deep breaths, and I cleared my throat, sore from the yelling. He then grabbed my face, turning it towards him. He blew smoke into my mouth before kissing me roughly. Once he pulled away, he looked at me with a sick grin.

“You’re lucky that I love you.”

Maybe if I had been kinder in those days, things would’ve been different. If I had been there to keep him from falling into full delusion. To keep him from bombing the city we’d built together to hopefully live our lives in, have a family one day. But as I sat in this little corner of the rubble, reminiscing, I couldn't find it in me to feel anything. Wilbur sucked out the life in me and snuffed me out, and yet I loved him. This corner of the city where we’d one day hoped to put an altar and have our wedding. This corner is where Tommy and I had our last conversation. We’d sat in this very spot many times. I couldn't remember when this spot had changed from our secret place to screw around into a war conference space, where Wilbur would hush orders to Tommy and I in weak attempts to preserve our lives. On my last day seeing Tommy, we’d sat here and watched the sunset. our wounds, both physical and mental, were still healing over only to scar deep. I remember what he’d asked me.

“Do you think he knew this would end in his death? Do you think – was it… intentional?”

My mind flashed with memories of wilbur – the boy I’d fallen in love with, to the war leader I’d trust with my life, to the man who maybe if I’d helped, things wouldn't be like this now, all the way to the man whose temper could light TNT a mile away.

If there was one thing true about every version of Wilbur I'd known and loved, it’s that he calculated. Spreadsheets, lists, scribbled parchments, war plans, love letters, songs, schematics, blueprints – all of them, carefully thought through and calculated. Whether it was the cool and loveable asshole I'd first fallen for, or the inner ramblings of a man driven insane, he thought out everything in his own way. So I knew my answer.

“Yes,” I blew out a slow line of smoke, “there isn’t a version of that plan wherein Wilbur stays alive.”

“I just don't get why. Why would he want to leave us behind?” Tommy ran a hand over his face. His face and nails both seemed to have a dusting of ash covering them. I absentmindedly wondered if my face carried it the same, or if it would ever truly wash away.

“He wasn’t right towards the end. No matter what we did, it never made him any less sad. Maybe if I’d done something earlier, he’d still be here. But I don’t think anything we could have done would have changed his mind. He couldn’t hold on anymore. I wish I didn't understand, but I do. It's why I can't bring myself to hate him. Despite the fights, the pain, everything he plagued my brain with at night, I still love him. He was sick, and I wish I could've helped him get better, helped get the man I fell in love with back. At the end of the day, he would never be that same person again, but I will always love him.”

Tommy took a heavy breath, “I want to hate him.” He didn't elaborate more on that. He didn’t have to. “How can you still say you loved him? He wasn’t a good person towards the end, he hurt you, he hurt me! We’re covered in bandages right now because of him!” J could tell Tommy was angry and frustrated. I understood. But the fire in my chest seemed more of a dull ember now.

“I know he did. and I should be more angry. I wish I could go to his grave, pour his shit on it, and light it on fire. But I can’t. We hurt each other. I think that’s part of why I still love him. At the end of the day, I would have died to protect him. And he would die to protect us.”

“But he didn’t protect us, things- things are worse!”

“He may have calculated this, but he does have his weaknesses.”

“What is that?”“Us. He can never suspect how we’ll react to his attempts to protect us. So he does what he thinks he deserves to protect us.”

I snuffed the rest of my cigarette among the rubble and ash, taking a moment to taste the lingering smoke in my mouth. I looked out on the lowering sunset, taking it upon myself to wrap an arm around Tommy's shoulders and pull him into a hug.

“He may not have been good towards the end, but there was always good in him. And that alone comforts me. I hope it helps you too.”

He just nodded softly, staring out at the sunset as he sighed out a soft question, “where will you go after this?”

I just shrugged, “gonna walk a long time and see where I end up. Probably build a small shack and try to live in peace if I can.”

He nodded softly, “send me a letter once you do. I want to at least know where the one person who knows what this feels like lives.”

I nodded quietly, and we sat there in silence until the sun went down fully. We said our goodbyes, but before I could leave, Tommy stopped and turned back to me, speaking softly and pensively,

“I thought you quit smoking.”

#wilbur soot x reader #dream smp x reader #dsmp x reader #dream smp #mcytumblr #wilbur post #wilbur x reader #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #dsmp #mar writes

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apopcornkernel · 10 months

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poppy's watched cdramas

與君歌 stand by me/dream of chang'an

i... did not finish this drama 😭 i only watched this because my mom was watching it and we were stuck in quarantine together, so. it was fun i guess but ultimately mid

蒼蘭決 love between fairy and devil

loved it, the ending was a little too abrupt for me but it still ended well! lived for the villain romance, had so much fun booing changheng (sorry), had even more fun staring at dylan wang's cheekbones. also i love how ride or die the main couple is for each other, it's absolutely not one-sided in that regard which <3 yes. and also episodes 30(?) to 36 i cried nonstop it was so cathartic. episode 35 specifically....... aha

琉璃 love and redemption

STUPIDLY long and rather cringe at times im not even gonna lie but the main characters had me by the THROAT i could not stop watching. yu sifeng is so so so unfairly pretty with bangs and chu xuanji in god of war mode,,,, i lvoe her sm. i loved how the gender roles of a typical cdrama relationship was more or less flipped, with sifeng always being the damsel in distress (not even joking or exaggerating about this one) and xuanji being the badass hero. i feel like a lot of cdramas tend to say their female mc is the hero and stuff but then in execution its ALWAYS the male lead saving the mc from danger and its just,,, idk i'm a little tired of it so i like that chu xuanji exists <3 and fuck haochen

傳聞中的陳芊芊 the romance of tiger and rose

REALLY REALLY GOOD one of the most perfect dramas ive ever watched. cinematography really high quality, an mc that i never got annoyed at and is so lovable, a petty murder cat love interest who is unfairly handsome at every angle. i was smiling and giggling with every episode. it's the true definition of a happy pill. i only wish Those 2 Specific Scenes did not exist

星落凝成糖 the starry love

i did not finish this 😭 i onyl watched it because it was the only thing i had downloaded on my phone. i don't recommend it tbh, sorry, the concept was interesting but the execution didn't do it for me. it was also really obvious how low budget it was and the acting & writing didn't really make up for it enough so,,,

今夕何夕 twisted fate of love

THIS IS THE BEST CDRAMA IVE EVER WATCHED I KNOW IM BEING SUBJECTIVE BUT LET ME BE SUBJECTIVE THIS IS MY BLOG okay okay so general travels back eight years to stop a great war but unfortunately she lands smack dab into feng xi's residence, who is an ally of the Bad Guy and very morally grey politician who will not hesitate to kill people for his goals. she keeps trying to assassinate feng xi's ally (the Bad Guy) meanwhile feng xi is just trying to put a ring on it. they are SO so funny and you KNOW i love villain(ish) romance so i ADORED this cdrama even though it was objectively mid and even though the last episode was trash. I DONT CARE i will defend this one with my life JUST WATCH IT im very incoherent ik but in my defense it's kinda hard to explain just trust me

星漢燦爛 love like the galaxy

currently watching!! it has zhao lusi who i trust with any drama, and the cinematography is great! some of ling buyi's dialogue i dont like but im still on board the main ship,,, i think i wouldve liked lou yao but i keep remembering he's daole from twisted fate of love and it jars me so bad.... also i have this thing where i automatically boo the second/third leads so really lou yao had no chance im sorry 😔 i find it really funny how obviously down bad ling buyi is update: i dropped this drama :(( i got all the way to episode 20 something and then i just couldn't be bothered to continue, i was honestly bored :((((

雲之羽 my journey to you

my sister rec'd this drama to me and oh man i tried. i was so ready to be hooked. but i just couldn't. like, it had gorgeous cinematography and beautiful costuming and i was happily surprised to realize the leads were clj's changheng and xiaolanhua, but omfg gong ziyu (changheng) pisses me off so bad he's like omg guys im an underdog they all hate me im struggling so bad i'm being oppressed etc etc AND THEN HE'S BEING OPPRESSED FOR BEING A RICH BABAERO NA PALAGING NAGBABAR LIKE BE SO FOR REALLL also shangguan qian and gong yuanzhi's scenes are infinitely more interesting than anyone else's, their one battle of wits already had me more interested than the entirety of the previous 5 episodes... and then when it switches back to include shangjue or gong ziyu or yun weishan i immediately feel all my energy get sapped. like they're so boring it hurts fgksjhg and the way yun weishan and gong ziyu speak don't help at all it's like 有時候……我也……睡不着…… DO NOT WASTE MY TIME LIKE THIS AND ALSO PLEASE SPEAK NORMALLY so yeah i got fed up by episode 6 and dropped it despite my sister's urging

天盛長歌 the rise of phoenixes

started watching this right after i dropped my journey to you BECAUSE FUCK YOU i swear that cdrama made me see cdramas as a chore again. anyways im loving it. ning yi looked so miserable in the first episode which is a great portend for things to come, and feng zhiwei is great i love her already and the cinematography is not bad as well, i'm just worried i'll get lost on the machinations and everything but i'm still having fun so far anyways hehe update from episode 19 or something!! i'm really enjoying it this is so good!!!! a little slower paced so if that's not your thing be warned but i am really liking it hehe

#poppy speaks #cdrama

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therhythmafterthesummer · 2 years

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Safe Haven ~Bang Chan | Day 7.

Pairing: SpaceRebel!Chan x WitchQueen!F.Reader Themes: Fantasy AU | Sci-Fi AU | Royalty AU | Soulmate AU | Slow Burn | Mutual Pining | Angst | Smut | Fluff. Series Warnings: Third person POV · Very loose and liberal usage of Star Wars concepts (mostly to refer to weapons and tech). you don’t need to know anything about SW to read this, trust me · Physical descriptions of the main female character such as: can visibly blush, having long hair, and being short · Violence · Swearing · Mature themes and language · Original characters · Graphic smut (later chapters) · Mentions of the members of other groups (later chapters) · No one is straight, beware · Each chapter will include its own individual warnings. Chapters marked as M (Mature) either include highly detailed violence, or smut.

Chapter Warnings: mentions of death · alcohol consumption. Word Count: ~7k | AO3

Due to all the abovementioned warnings, this story is intended for a 18+ audience only. Minors do not interact. ✰This chapter has been reworked as of 16/08/2023

Previous Chapter: Day 6. | Series Masterlist. | Next Chapter: Day 8.

Disclaimer: the story presented in this work does not represent Stray Kids in any way; anything described in this story and all actions performed by the characters are purely fictional, this was created just for good fun.

“It’s good to hear from you”, Minho’s voice rang from the earpiece Chan was wearing. He had chosen this set-up to speak with his crewmates when repairs resumed on the ship, opting for a more private conversation as he tinkered with the other damaged components inside the main control unit.

“Same. I heard all about your success from Seungmin”, a smile crept on Chan’s lips when he addressed his friend. “Outstanding job”.

“Please, we almost got our asses kicked, like always”, Minho chuckled. “I seriously thought you guys were dead for a moment there”, he added, with a more serious tone in his voice.

“Well… You know what they say, only the good die young”.

“That’s exactly why I was worried, Mr Goody Two-Shoes”, Minho was in a teasing mood, which Chan knew it to be a clear sign of relief on his part.

Chan just scoffed, ‘Goody two-shoes’ was far from something he’d use to describe himself. Taking an adjustable spanner, he got to work the bolts that kept one of the many circuit boards attached to the inside of the console. “Any news from our anonymous friend? Did they get our message?”

“Yes, they replied while you were still talking with Seungmin yesterday”, Minho’s answer surprised Chan slightly, since Dall wouldn’t usually contact them back so fast. “They just said they were really thankful, that they were sorry about the accident, and to keep low for a while to recover… You know, to let things settle”.

Chan hummed. A very standard Dall answer. The fact that they hadn’t mentioned any Charmer-related news in their message was always a good sign, it usually meant that things weren’t escalating further.

“Where are you anyway? Once the Shining Starlight’s up and running we can go pick you guys up”, Minho was pretending to be nonchalant, Chan could tell. There was this tentativeness in his voice that he always had whenever he was trying to get information from someone… Seungmin must’ve told him about Chan’s hesitancy to give away their current location.

“I… don’t think that’s a good idea”, Chan looked around him. Everyone in the room seemed to either be engrossed in their task or deep in conversation with one another. He lowered his voice as much as he could, almost whispering. “This place… I don’t even understand why, but it feels like a safe haven of sorts… If you guys come here, there’s always a chance that you’ll be followed, and that would be a disaster”.

Chan would honestly never forgive himself if the people of Lira Le were to be put in danger because of them, so he’d much rather his friends stayed put and laid low. Especially when there was virtually no need for them to come here in the first place.

“A safe haven?” Minho sounded genuinely incredulous, and, honestly, Chan couldn’t blame him. “Christopher, nowhere is safe when it comes to that man”.

Minho was trying to convince him, he knew it, but Chan couldn’t yield. Not to this.

“I know, I know, but listen”, Chan took a deep breath, checking his surroundings once more to make sure no one was paying attention to him. “Things here… They’re different, Minho. I need you to trust me on this one”.

Minho was about to object, but he was cut off by Chan immediately. “Besides, we still need to wait for the Big Bad Wolf to be repaired. I’m not leaving my ship behind, so you guys coming here won’t make a difference. It’ll just put everyone in danger”.

Minho scoffed, and Chan knew then that he’d won the debate. “Fine, but don’t let it be said that I didn’t try. The second you’re back here you have to spill the beans”.

Chan sighed, feeling relieved. If Minho decided to drop it, it meant the others would drop it too. Chan was their captain–their leader–but their opinions mattered to him; he never liked to order them around when they weren’t on a ship or a mission, so knowing that Minho would compromise and not disregard his concerns was a relief. He decided to redirect the conversation, “any news from the other units?”

“Everything’s just the same so far… If anything, a few more guard ports have been raided successfully. Nothing out of the ordinary, no major losses”.

Chan was about to inquire more, until a hand on his shoulder almost made him jump out of his skin. His head whipped to the side to see a very amused Wang Eun standing next to him. “Dear Gods, Wang Eun. A warning would be nice next time!”

“Sorry”, Wang Eun didn’t look sorry at all.

“Who’s that?” Minho’s voice rang in Chan’s earpiece.

“Who you talking to?” Wang Eun asked at the same time.

“One of the guys helping us out”, Chan addressed Minho, then turned to Wang Eun. “One of our crewmates”.

“Is he handsome?” Minho’s and Wang Eun’s voices combined asking the same question was effectively kickstarting a dull ache in his head.

“Yes”, Chan replied to no one in particular. “But that’s besides the point. Minho, I’ll call you guys later, yeah?”

“Sure thing, captain”, Minho chuckled. “Talk to you later. Take care”, was the last thing Chan heard from Minho before the low crackling sound in his ear signalled the transmission to be over.

Chan sighed. He placed the adjustable spanner on the floor, and took a rag so he could use it to wipe some of the grease coating his palms. He stood up from where he had been sitting next to the console, speaking to Wang Eun, “What’s up? You’re usually not here at this time”.

“I come with a royal decree”, Chan’s left eye twitched at Wang Eun’s words, unsure whether this was a good or a bad sign. “His Majesty has invited you to join him, Hoseok, and Her Majesty for lunch”.

“What?” The sudden invitation took Chan by surprise, and his brain immediately hit the emergency button, releasing a cocktail of hormones into his bloodstream. The look the High King had given him the night before played back in his mind briefly. The memory did absolutely nothing to calm him down. “Why…?”

“Dunno”, Wang Eun shrugged. “But I can’t let you go meet him like this”, he gestured with both hands to Chan’s soiled clothes. “He’d take you apart!”

That did nothing to reassure Chan in the slightest, either. If anything, it just made it worse. He quickly put away his tools and dropped the used rags in their designated basket near the control room’s exit as he followed Wang Eun on the way back to his chambers.

“Here, take these”, Wang Eun handed Chan a small, delicate box. The soft black velvet coating the outside was pleasant to his touch. “I noticed you had your ears pierced, but weren’t wearing any earrings”.

“Ah, yeah”, the memory of him taking his earrings off right before the mission played back in his mind. It kind of felt like that had happened an eternity ago. When he opened the box, he found a pair of thick silver hoops. “Well, these look nice”.

“Thank you!” A wide grin spread on Wang Eun’s face, practically lighting up his features. “I made them myself”.

“You did?” Chan honestly didn’t mean to sound as incredulous as he did. He took the hoops from the box and carefully put them on. The sudden weight on his ears was noticeable, but familiar. Even after so long without wearing anything.

“Yeap. I come from a family of jewellers, it was natural for me to pick up the trade. Even if just as a hobby”, Wang Eun gave Chan one final once over, seemingly satisfied with his choice of clothing.

A long sleeved black cotton shirt, with black trousers that seemed to hug Chan in all the right places, the material of both items was soft and fancy, a stark contrast to his worn out boots, but it all worked nicely together. Clearly, Wang Eun had put thought into this. “I’d give you a choker, even put some makeup on, but that might be overkill”.

“I feel like you’re trying to sell me off to His Majesty”, Chan chuckled.

“Because I am!” Wang Eun was slightly exasperated when he spoke, shaking his hands in front of him for emphasis. “Listen, I think you’re a good bloke. I wouldn’t want His Majesty to blast you off into the atmosphere”.

Chan’s eyes widened, had that truly happened? He was about to inquire further, but a sudden knock on the door redirected all of Wang Eun’s attention to it instead of Chan. The knock was rushed, the rapid thuds quickly filled in the otherwise silent room.

Wang Eun pulled the door open, and the Queen hurriedly let herself in. “Wang Eun listen–”

Her sentence cut short when her eyes landed on Chan, who was standing by the dresser’s mirror. She looked him up and down, with her mouth slightly agape.

Chan’s heart fluttered with the sudden attention. The hum in his head was suddenly extra loud and distracting under her heavy gaze. He noticed then that she was dressed in a similar fashion, save for the colour of her shirt–violet, with a much, much deeper neckline than his. Focus on her face, don’t be weird… Focus on her face…

Chan tried his best to encourage himself.

Her Majesty turned to Wang Eun, patting him on the shoulder. “You’re a genius”.

A proud, splitting grin spread on Wang Eun’s lips at her words, a comment of ‘Of course I am’ came out of his mouth just as the Queen took hurried steps towards Chan.

“Listen, don’t freak out”, her hands lightly gestured in front of her while she spoke. “Sol can be very mean, and snarky. Don’t take it personal, he just talks that way”, she moved closer to him, and placed her palms on his shoulders to seemingly iron out creases on his shirt–Chan doubted there were any, but he didn’t object to her touch. In all honesty, he kind of enjoyed the attention. “And don’t lie. You can dance around the truth, but you absolutely cannot lie”.

Chan hadn’t freaked out yet, but he was certainly about to. “What if he asks why we crash-landed?”

“I have a feeling he won’t”, she sounded convinced, which slightly reassured him. “But if it comes to it, I’ll deal with it”, Her Majesty brought her gaze up from his shirt to his eyes.

The movement of her hands on his shirt stopped, but she didn’t remove them. The warmth of her palms was almost searing as it seeped under his shirt and spread over his skin. Chan wasn’t sure when he’d become so used to understanding the Queen so well just by looking at her briefly, but he could see it in her eyes. While she spoke calmly, almost impassive, he could see it clear as day… She was the one freaking out.

Chan needed to say something, the hum in his brain seemed to be urging him to speak. “Hey, listen–”

His words were cut off by the sound of Wang Eun clearing his throat. Their heads snapped in his direction, breaking eye contact with each other. He spoke to them with urgency. “Hate to intrude, but we need to go. If we make him wait, we won’t hear the end of it”.

The Queen let out a tired sigh, finally removing her hands from Chan’s frame, which almost, almost made him frown.

“Let’s get this over with”, were the last words to come out of her mouth before she stepped away, and walked out the door.

Wang Eun walked towards Chan, and pulled him by the arm. “Go”, he started as he guided Chan through the door and out of the room. “There’s still some stuff to prepare, so I can’t go with you. But I’ll see you there later”.

The Queen was waiting right outside the door, playing with the rings on her fingers like she usually did. Wang Eun bowed in her direction, giving her a reassuring smile. He finally trotted down the corridor, leaving a deafening silence hanging between them.

“Let’s go”, she said finally when she started walking, and Chan simply followed suit closely behind her.

She was tense, he could see it written all over her form. He wanted to do something–anything–to even mildly ease her worries. How silly of him, he realised. Wasn’t he the one in real danger here? The High King was her brother, if it came to it, he wouldn’t harm her. But Chan? The stranger that destroyed their property and was living within their castle walls without any discernible explanation? Maybe he would be flung into the atmosphere like Wang Eun had told him earlier…

Before any of his impulses materialised, they had both made it into one of the main halls. The Queen’s sudden halt made Chan trip slightly, effectively halting his movements as well.

She was looking towards the big staircase on the side of the room, and, after a few moments, Hoseok and the High King came into view as they walked down the stairs. They seemed to be engaged in an animated chatter, which mildly eased Chan’s nerves.

“Good afternoon, my dear sister”, His Majesty greeted the Queen, with a smile painted on his features, but a slight edge on his voice. Then, he turned to Chan. “Good afternoon. Chan, was it?” He extended his hand towards Chan, which he immediately took.

“Yes, Your Majesty. Good afternoon”, the High King’s grip was strong as they shook hands, yet there didn’t seem to be any malicious feelings in the gesture, which also reassured him.

“Good afternoon, Hoseok”, Her Majesty turned to the man standing next to the High King, regarding him with a smile. She then looked back at her brother, and her expression changed to one of annoyance. “Let’s go, I’m starving”, she added as she started to walk.

The High King fell into step next to the Queen, while Chan walked behind them, next to Hoseok.

“You’re dressed nicely, my dear”, the High King addressed Her Majesty, his words were seemingly innocuous, but there was, again, a clear edge to them.

“I always am, dear”, was her only response. In contrast, her tone was even, almost monotonous.

“We both know that’s not true, but let’s roll with it”.

“Sol, don’t start. I’m too hungry for this”, the Queen’s voice was still even, if only slightly restrained now.

“I’m not starting anything”, the High King was very clearly teasing her, it was obvious to Chan in the way he could practically hear the smirk in his voice.

The group walked in silence for a few moments, until His Majesty spoke again. “Do you always have to stomp when you walk? Are you not even slightly embarrassed in front of your guest?”

“Do you have to be so stuck up all the time? Let me live”, the Queen’s even tone was now long gone. She was clearly annoyed now, and her steps grew intentionally heavier as she walked.

“Seriously, why don’t you…!”

“Is it like this all the time?” Chan turned to Hoseok, voice almost a whisper, tuning out the banter in front of them.

A tired sigh passed Hoseok’s lips as he looked back and forth between the High King and the Queen. “All the time. It’s how you can tell things are fine. When they get serious and overly caring with each other… Well, something’s happened for sure. It can get pretty annoying, though”.

Chan just hummed, slightly amused as he continued to watch them bicker. They looked almost… normal. Just like normal siblings. It reminded him of his own relationship with his blood sister. They were usually on amicable terms, and he would kill for her, but they could also be at each other’s throats in seconds.

After a few more turns across the corridors they finally made it into a rather small hall. Paintings lined the walls, two tiger statues and two wolf statues were distributed among the corners of the room. The entire room was clearly set up for the round table that sat in the middle to be the centre of attention.

Chan didn’t know the first thing about royal etiquette, so he followed Hoseok’s movements closely, deciding that whatever he did was probably the same thing he had to do. He never imagined that his stealth tactics would be of use in such a mundane situation.

They sat at the round table, both monarchs in front of each other, while Chan sat across from Hoseok. He vaguely registered Hoseok talking with His Majesty, but his attention was focused mostly on the Queen as she pretty much stared daggers into her brother across from her–clearly still annoyed by his comments from earlier.

Maids started coming in and out of the room. They placed dish after dish on the table, and to Chan’s surprise, the food wasn’t served by the maids themselves. Instead, everyone on the table started to pick up ladles from the many serving dishes, and piled up food on their own plates. So, naturally, he did the same.

The High King was addressing Her Majesty again, Chan was too distracted by the delicious food in front of him to hear what they were saying. However, his focus zeroed in on the conversation again the moment the word short was thrown at her.

“It’s not my fault you sucked in all the growing juice in the womb, you fucking giant”, she replied, taking a spoonful of food into her mouth.

“Don’t pin this on me! We have exactly the same genes, darling”, his snarky remark made her left eye visibly twitch.

It was an absurd argument. Logically, height was clearly something no one could have control over, yet he wouldn’t let go.

“If your magic’s so good, why don’t you–” The High King’s words died in his throat when his stew suddenly exploded, drenching his face and torso. He quickly stood up, angrily staring at his sister. “What the fuck?!”

Her Majesty stood up quickly as well, placing her palms flat on the table. “You know I didn’t do it on purpose!”

“Yes, you did!”

The Queen’s reply was interrupted by the loud sound coming from her side. Hoseok slammed his hands on the table, standing up rather violently. “Enough!”

Chan was taken aback by the whole thing, with his cheeks full of food as he looked back and forth between the three parties involved in the dispute. He decided the smartest thing to do would be to stay silent.

“You”, Hoseok pointed to the High King, his voice stern. “Stop riling her up. And you”, he turned and pointed to the Queen. “Stop getting riled up when you know he’s doing it on purpose. It’s always like this with you two… We’re going to sit down, enjoy a nice, relaxing lunch and you both are going to behave. Otherwise I’ll be throwing hands and you know how that ends up”.

Hoseok sat down again after, essentially, scolding the twins. He took food into his mouth, giving Chan a jaded look. The man clearly had experience with this. Chan felt slightly awkward as he continued eating, eyes darting towards the Queen.

The twins sat down again. Her Majesty threw a cloth napkin to the High King, which he used immediately to wipe the remnants of stew from his face. Chan figured it was her way of apologising, or calling a truce.

They stayed silent for a while. The only sounds in the room were produced by the coming and going of maids, and by the cutlery hitting the plates. The food was just as flavourful as always, a clear sign that a very experienced hand had worked on the dishes.

“So, Chan”, the High King’s voice suddenly resonating next to him almost made Chan choke on his food. “I heard about the crash. You’re working alongside Talboot on the repairs, right?”

Chan quickly drank some water, trying to bring his food down and give himself some time to build up confidence. “I am. Things are coming along quite nicely, everyone’s working really hard”, he couldn’t help but feel proud at the evenness in his own voice.

“Where did you learn to fix ships?” His Majesty was, very evidently, curious.

“My dad. We used to own a repair shop back in my home planet”, Chan could feel Her Majesty lightly bounce her leg under the table–had he been closer, he would’ve probably brought a hand to her thigh to stop the movement. Which was a thought that did nothing but make his mind wander into dangerous territory. He decided to ignore it.

“Oh, a humble family trade”, the High King took a sip of his drink, then he continued. “Where are you from exactly?”

Chan told him about his home planet. About the mostly arid climate with the sparse waterfields, about his family and their modest repair shop, about the whereabouts of his family now… He told His Majesty anything and everything that came to his mind, except the fact that the planet had been invaded and raided by the Charmer. He danced around the topic so well he even impressed himself.

The High King listened attentively, making comments and asking questions when his curiosity was piqued. When Chan told him that his family had moved somewhere else after his father passed, His Majesty didn’t pry further on the matter–which seemed to have eased the Queen sitting next to him, enough to stop the bouncing of her leg altogether.

“You’re quite a long way from home, aren’t you? Isn’t it tough?” His Majesty’s tone was slightly apologetic, yet there was a slight edge to it. The Queen’s words from earlier resonated in Chan’s mind–Don’t take it personal, he just talks that way.

Chan shrugged, taking another sip of his drink. “It’s been a long time, I’m not even sure if I’d ever settle there again”.

He’d never truly thought about it… Sure, he wanted to go back and free the people from the Charmer’s tyranny, but it had never really crossed his mind to stay after. If he pondered on it, he’d never thought what he would do once it was all over. There was no chance to think that far ahead when death was looming over him and his friends at any given moment.

The High King hummed, prying no further. As he took a bite of his food Hoseok took the opportunity to chime in. “Heard you’ve been doing some training with Wang Eun. We should spar sometime”.

“Don’t do it”, the Queen addressed Chan, and a playful smile fell on her lips behind the rim of her glass. “You’ll die”.

Chan just laughed. “With all due respect, I don’t think I’m ready to be humiliated so publicly”.

Hoseok chuckled at his honesty, taking a sip from his drink. The conversation remained friendly after that. Hoseok told Chan about his background. His family came from a small town further south, Hoseok grew up there with his mother while his father worked as part of the former Queen’s Guard in the castle. He’d decided since he was very young he would become part of the Royal Guard himself, since his magic and physical abilities were suitable for the task.

His Majesty chimed in, asking a question that was completely unrelated to what they were talking about. “So, what do you think of the castle town?”

Chan was slightly taken aback by the sudden change in topic, but he answered regardless. “I, uh… haven’t visited the castle town”.

The High King turned to Her Majesty, addressing her with a pointed tone. “You haven’t taken him out of the castle? How rude”.

The Queen’s knuckles turned white when she tightened her grip on the spoon in her hand. “I haven’t had the time. Had to cover the duties of my idiotic brother with suicidal tendencies, remember?”

His Majesty gave her a dirty look, they stared at each other, eyes defiant, and the air suddenly turned tense. The silence was deafening, the twins were unmoving as the stare-off stretched far too long for anyone’s comfort.

Hoseok cleared his throat, bringing the attention to him. “We’re right here, you know. We don’t speak insane twins language, so stop excluding us from the conversation”.

Her Majesty blinked, looking slightly surprised, and His Majesty looked pretty much the same way.

“Sorry”, the response came out in unison before they stuffed their mouths with food. It seemed like another dispute was effectively concluded thanks to Hoseok’s intervention.

The Queen and the High King were starkly different, both physically and personality-wise. However, right then, as they ate, Chan had just noticed how their movements were oddly in sync, just as fluid as when you look at your reflection in the mirror. It was equal parts creepy and fascinating.

After a few more light conversations, when dessert had already been eagerly inhaled by all four of them, His Majesty and Hoseok excused themselves. The High King thanked Chan for joining them for lunch, and Hoseok was right behind him, giving him an apologetic look.

Her Majesty slumped slightly in her chair as soon as the pair was out the door, and the room was now empty save for them both sitting at the table. She brought her hands to her face, pressing her fingertips into her eye sockets while she lightly kicked her feet in what Chan figured was frustration.

“I’m so sick of him, I just want to punch him in the face”, she removed her hands from her face, and turned to Chan. “I’m so sorry. He knows which buttons to press to drive me crazy, and I always fall for it”.

Chan just chuckled. “It’s okay. It was… an interesting experience”.

She scoffed. “He’s right, though. Which only makes me angrier. You’ve been confined to the castle walls for a week now”.

“To be honest, I’ve thought about asking before, but it never came up”, Chan shrugged. “We’ve all been busy”.

Her Majesty hummed, tapping her fingers on the wooden surface of the table as she pondered. After a few moments, her fingers stopped. “It’s food night at the market tonight. I’m going after sunset to stuff myself up. You can join me if you want?”

“Sure, let’s do it”, Chan answered maybe a bit too fast, but the prospect of a new setting and good food was honestly too enticing to pass up.

“Great”, she stood up, and walked to the doors to swing them open. Then, she signalled someone outside to come in–presumably Wang Eun, who had been serving them.

Just before she left, she turned back to Chan, offering him a bright smile. “Dress comfortably. It might get warm”.

The cool breeze of the night lightly ruffled Chan’s hair while he waited in the courtyard outside of the castle’s entrance. With his hands stuffed in his pockets, he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, trying to ease some of the nerves that were trying to bubble deep inside him. The evening was extra humid, which made his curls untamable even after Wang Eun’s numerous attempts to flatten them out.

‘It’s your first night out! You need to look presentable!’ he’d told Chan earlier with a frustrated sigh. Chan had simply told him he didn’t care, because he truly didn’t.

After lunch he’d gone back to work on the Big Bad Wolf, he’d gathered with a group of people to remove more debris from the ship, and the physical exertion seemed to have opened up his appetite–especially since he knew what the plans for the night were. So, he truly didn’t care whether he was presentable in Wang Eun’s standards, he just wanted to stuff himself full of delicious food.

After a while, Chan saw Freyja first, the panther trotted towards him on sight. She circled him as soon as she was within his personal space, and her tail lightly wrapped around his limbs before she finally sat down. The feline nudged his hand with her nose in her usual request for pets. He obliged immediately, placing his palm flat on her forehead first, to then settle his fingers on her ears, where he’d learnt she liked to receive pets the most by now.

Her Majesty came right after, hurried steps took her down the stairs until she finally came to a stop in front of them. She was wearing loose fitting trousers–much like his own–and a sleeveless shirt that came all the way up to hug her neck. There was no low neckline displaying her cleavage, which Chan wasn’t sure whether to feel relieved, or disappointed about.

“Good evening!” There was a chirpy lilt in the Queen’s voice, and excitement was written all over her face. “I’m starving, let’s go”.

She walked past him, and Freyja followed close after.

There might’ve been no plunging neckline on her shirt, but, somehow, the backless set-up was so much worse, Chan noted when she walked ahead. He couldn’t help himself as he stood there, admiring her back decorated in her intricate tattoos.

“You coming?” The sound of Her Majesty’s voice made his head snap back up. The moment his eyes met hers, warmth immediately crept up from his chest to the back of his neck. He just ignored his body’s embarrassing reaction.

“Uh–Yeah”, Chan hurried along, and he fell into step next to Freyja and the Queen.

They walked past the guards posted at the open gates. Her Majesty greeted them enthusiastically, a gesture which they returned in kind. It was a rather steep walk down from the castle gates to the castle town. It was dark already, but, thankfully, the road was lined with decorated lamp posts that illuminated their path.

There was silence for a while, until Chan’s curiosity bubbled over.

“So, what did His Majesty say? Am I worthy of staying at the castle?” Chan was half joking, half serious when he asked the questions.

She chuckled, eyes fixed ahead looking at Freyja chasing something in the adjacent grass. “Somehow, he was still curious. He asked questions I didn’t know how to answer, or that I just didn’t want to answer. He wasn’t displeased, so that’s a good sign”.

Chan hummed, and he genuinely felt relieved by her answer.

“He also told me he dismissed Skallarg… Something about retirement”, she continued. “I think his outburst the other day was too much, even for him–Freyja, drop it!” The panther had come back with a comically large–yet proportional to her size–rodent in her mouth.

If felines produced the same facial expressions humans could, Freyja would’ve certainly looked offended. She obeyed regardless, and when she opened her mouth, the rodent scrambled to its feet so it could run straight back into the grass.

“Are all animals giant here?” Chan was still surprised, and also slightly afraid–large animals surely meant large bugs as well…

“Not all of them, but most in the wild are. Wild bears can be especially intimidating when you get too close”, her words took Chan briefly to his friends in the mountains, they made him wonder how they were coping… Hopefully, they were fine and safe. They must’ve been.

Chan and the Queen kept up the conversation, with the occasional pause as Freyja brought along all sorts of critters from the green areas surrounding them, which earned her a stern look from her owner every single time.

Her Majesty explained to Chan how every other week the merchants in the castle town’s market would have a ‘food night’. Any wares they typically sold were replaced by dishes prepared locally by them. She highlighted how it was one of her favourite activities in town, since the food was usually really well made and tasty.

As they finally reached the end of the road, Chan saw more and more people moving along the faraway streets. The sudden liveliness took him by surprise after the long trek in a rather silent area.

The Queen took the lead, guiding him through street after street until they finally reached a boulevard jam-packed with people. Some seemed to be simply admiring the intricate lights that wrapped around the rows upon rows of trees, some just sat on the floor in small groups talking, eating, and drinking, but most of them were standing in front of the numerous food stalls, placing their orders.

“Come on, this way”, Her Majesty pulled Chan by the arm, and the sudden contact of her hand on the bare skin of his arms inexplicably sent jolts up his spine.

She brought him to one of the stalls, fluidly moving between people as she pulled him along. The owners greeted her gleefully, reciting the order that they seemed to have committed to memory from all her previous visits.

“Anything specific you would like to try?” She asked Chan while he eyed the list of dishes in front of him and their corresponding picture.

“Holy shit, anything. I’d seriously eat anything from this menu”, he was slightly overwhelmed by the amount of options, and his stomach rumbled just by the smell coming from the stall’s small kitchen. “I’ll have whatever you order, I trust your judgement. Nothing hot spicy, though”, he added quickly as he saw the devilish look in her eyes.

She turned to the stall owner, asking to give her two of her usual and two of a very specific side dish. Chan didn’t know what it was, but it sounded delicious, so he rolled with it.

While the food was being prepared, she took him to another stall, where they got a bunch of bottles of a locally produced spirit drink, along with some bottles of water.

On their way back to the first stall, the Queen’s attention was pulled towards a different one. The owners urged her to come close to try out a new dish they had been working on–some sort of mashed puree wrapped inside a leaf.

Her face lit up as she chewed the treat, and she asked for another one. Holding it in her hand, she hurriedly spoke to Chan, with her cheeks still full of food.

“You’ve got to try this!” were the only words he heard before she brought it to his face. His mouth opened instantly to take the treat in, and his lips unintentionally brushed the tips of her fingers when he closed them. Chan’s face scrunched up, his eyebrows furrowed, almost moaning at the taste. It was really fucking good.

Before he could ask her to get more, she had already ordered a pack and deposited coins in the owner’s hand. With that, she thanked them and said her goodbyes before she tugged Chan along to the first stall again to finally get their main meal for the evening.

With their arms full of food and drinks, the Queen guided Chan to an adjacent street, one that was much less crowded, much quieter. They walked for a bit until they reached a plaza, with only a couple of people sitting around the area, playing cards.

She walked towards the fountain in the middle, and plopped down in front of it, her back pressed against the concrete base. Her hands busied themselves with getting all the packs of food open and ready.

Chan sat right next to her, Freyja–who had separated from them as soon as they entered the boulevard–came back to lay down right in front of them. They started eating immediately, the taste and smell of the food flooded his senses completely as appreciative words towards the dishes fell from their lips.

He was the first one to pop open one of the bottles, and took a tentative sip. It didn’t seem to be particularly strong, but the sweet and tangy taste of whatever fruit it was made out of could surely deceive him into drinking more than he should.

“This is so good, holy shit”, Chan’s eyes were closed as he savoured his already half eaten meal.

“Mmm… I know. Scrumptious. Been looking forward to this all week”, Her Majesty chewed slowly, savouring every bite as well.

A friendly conversation picked up between them, covering nonessential topics as they eagerly ate their food. Chan had to physically stop himself from licking his plate clean. Thankfully, his internal debate on whether to do it or not stopped when Her Majesty procured some bread from Gods-know-where and handed it to him to soak up the remaining sauce on the plate.

The cool evening breeze was nice at this time, and his satiated hunger finally let him enjoy his surroundings. A light buzz accompanied the ever-present hum in his skull. How many drinks had he had? He truly had no idea, and, at this point, he also didn’t care much.

“This is nice”, Chan said after a particularly pleasant breeze caressed his face.

“It is”, Her Majesty agreed. “I thought for a second I was going to pass out from the heat and the amount of people back there”.

“Oh, yeah the breeze is nice, too”, Chan looked up for a moment, to the twin moons smiling back at him from the evening sky. “I was just commenting on… Well, everything. The people, how safe the streets feel”, he turned to the Queen, bringing his drink closer to his lips. “And the company, of course”, he added, taking a sip.

Her Majesty chuckled. “You’re not too bad yourself”, she took a sip from her own drink. “I typically come here on my own. My friends are usually too tired or not interested in the activity. Which is valid, to be honest. It’s nice to have company for a change, though”.

Chan hummed, understanding. He saw in his peripheral vision the movement of her hand, of her thumb lightly playing with the ring in her index finger.

“Sol does it, too. He thinks I don’t know that he frequently sneaks out to the castle town… Sometimes even further away to the nearest town. I’m not sure why he doesn’t want me to know, though”, she added, with her eyes trained on the twinkling stars in the sky.

Chan looked at her, his eyes traced the features of her profile. The apples of her cheeks, the dip of her nose, the curve of her lips… He shook his head slightly, and his eyes turned to look at the sky, too. “Why do you guys fight so much? Kinda seems like something happened”.

The Queen chuckled softly, taking another sip from her drink. “I’m not so sure myself. Nothing’s happened, we’ve just always been this way”.

She stayed silent for a moment, sorting out her thoughts until she spoke up again. “We have this otherworldly synergy between us… It’s scary sometimes. I think our petty arguments are just our way of feeling slightly normal. Even if we don’t do it on purpose”.

Chan just hummed, unsure of how to respond to that. He was slightly surprised that the synced movements he noticed earlier were A Thing between these two.

Her Majesty tapped her rings on the bottle in her hand, and the sound resonated in the quiet area. “I don’t think he’ll ever admit it, but I’m sure that, deep down, he too wishes to be a regular person. No Frequency, no life or death burdens… Must be nice”, she added, taking a sip.

Chan just looked at her for a moment, letting a comfortable silence fall between them. The hum wasn’t particularly loud, but it seemed like the longer he looked at the Queen, the more he noticed its presence.

“Well then”, Chan suddenly stood up. “We can pretend”, he must’ve been more tipsy than he thought, the words coming out of his mouth surprised even himself. “The night’s still young. We can turn back to Queen slash rebel in disguise, and ship captain slash rebel leader back in the morning”.

He made an act of wiping his hands–rather ungracefully–on his trousers, eliciting a laugh from the Queen. “The name’s Christopher”, he added, extending his hand to her. “I’m just a regular guy, fixing ships for a living. A pleasure to make your acquaintance”

Her Majesty just laughed again, clearly amused by his outburst, and the sound made him smile.

“Christopher?” she asked, slightly incredulous.

“Hey! Don’t laugh. That’s my real name!” He huffed. “Well, my other real name”.

“You’ve got two names?” She sounded curious, and the fact tickled something in the back of his mind. It was too fuzzy in there to figure out what it was, though…

“Yeap”, Chan made a point to emphasise the P sound. “Pretty common where I’m from. Felix does too, for example”.

Her Majesty chuckled, finally playing along with the act. “Alright then”, she took his extended hand in hers with a firm grip and shook it. “Nice to meet you, Christopher”.

“Oh, no, no. Please”, he brought his hand to his chest, pretending to be upset. “Just Chris, for the friends”, he added with a wink.

She just laughed. The sound was, admittedly, immensely gratifying to his ears, just like the amusement written all over her face at his antics was to his eyes.

Her Majesty stood up, the remnants of their dinner disappeared with a flick of her hand. In a swift movement, she interlocked her arm with his, and tugged him along with words of ‘Come on then, Chris. Time to show you around’. Freyja followed them closely from behind.

They walked for what felt like hours. The Queen showed him the important landmarks in the town–statues, fountains, even buildings. She took him to her favourite places, urging him to ‘Remember this, you don’t know when you might need it!’

Chan felt warm; not the kind of warm that makes your hair stick to your forehead, nor the warm when you stand in front of an open flame while camping in the forest. He felt warm in the same way coming home to his safe, healthy friends felt warm, in the same way he felt warmth spread throughout him when he ate his favourite food. Just like he did then, he felt full, satisfied.

Even in the wee hours of the night, when he finally made it back to his chambers with languid steps, that warmth remained with him, and it eventually tucked him in and lulled him into a peaceful sleep.

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