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jewishvitya · 2 months

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I remembered this essay from years ago when I was unlearning what I knew of Israel and zionism and I couldn't find it again, and now I see it in a Shaun video, with the source.

Ze'ev Jabotinsky, "The Iron Wall." I downloaded it from the Jabotinsky Institute.

These are the titles he gave this essay:

I said that Zionist leaders explicitly talked about Zionism as a colonialist movement. This is an example of what I was talking about.

Some quotes:

There can be no voluntary agreement between ourselves and the Palestine Arabs. Not now, nor in the prospective future. I say this with such conviction, not because I want to hurt the moderate Zionists. I do not believe that they will be hurt. Except for those who were born blind, they realised long ago that it is utterly impossible to obtain the voluntary consent of the Palestine Arabs for converting "Palestine" from an Arab country into a country with a Jewish majority.

My readers have a general idea of the history of colonisation in other countries. I suggest that they consider all the precedents with which they are acquainted, and see whether there is one solitary instance of any colonisation being carried on with the consent of the native population. There is no such precedent.

He's saying openly: no land was colonized with the consent of its indigenous population. So we have to do it without that consent.

Every native population in the world resists colonists as long as it has the slightest hope of being able to rid itself of the danger of being colonised.

That is what the Arabs in Palestine are doing, and what they will persist in doing as long as there remains a solitary spark of hope that they will be able to prevent the transformation of "Palestine" into the "Land of Israel."

He said that any zionist who depends on the Arab population accepting a Jewish state on their lands, might as well withdraw from zionism because that's impossible.

Zionist colonisation must either stop, or else proceed regardless of the native population. Which means that it can proceed and develop only under the protection of a power that is independent of the native population – behind an iron wall, which the native population cannot breach.

And then he says that this Iron Wall is the British Mandate and the Balfour Declaration - they're the power that stops Palestinians from resisting us.

He says that despite this, zionism is moral and just, so justice must be done, zionism must move forward. He just wants to be honest about what it takes. He wants to discourage talks of an agreement to avoid signaling to the British that they must try to reach one between us and Palestinians. Just stop them from fighting us, we'll colonize the place.

Zionism was openly colonialist until this language was no longer politically useful.

Editing because I was kinda shocked by the response this got, in several moments. When the slavery of US founders was brought up to dismiss this whole thing. When First Nations reservations were brought up on the same list as the United States as equivalent to Israel, because I said I oppose the existence of a country that prioritizes one ethnic group at the expense of others, and I support democracy that protects everyone equally.

But another thing that's still nagging at me is the idea that this whole essay can be dismissed based on semantic arguments, like sure this uses the word colonialism, but is it actually the colonialism that we talk about and oppose? And what if this word is only used to appeal to the British for support?

This isn't the the first time that prominent zionist thinkers talk about zionism as a colonialist movement. I saw it in old publications, things like magazines, I'd be posting them too if I found them again. I did my own deconstructing years ago, I don't remember where I found all my sources.

I do remember that they talked about the two concepts together - the idea that we're here to colonize, and that we're here to come home. So nowadays there's the arguement that people can't colonize their own homeland, but to them there was no contradiction. I saw it again looking at Herzl's diary last night.

I say I define colonialism through actions and tactics, through the harm that's done to the victims of colonization. Because if we knowingly repeated the actions of colonizers and used the help of an imperial force to conquer a land, having a historic connection to it shouldn't absolve us.

Jabotinsky didn't write to the British in this essay. He wrote to other zionists who wanted to aim for something more collaborative with Palestinian Arabs. And it's true that word choice can mean different things in the context of the time, but there's a reason I chose those quotes. What is he actually saying in this essay?

Consider colonization throughout history - the native population never agreed, so we must do the as colonizers did in the past.

Palestinians will never agree to a Jewish state - so we must do it by force. We should use an imperial force as an "iron wall" to prevent them from resisting. Stop talking about an agreement because then the British will try to reach one instead of holding them back and letting us do our thing.

He's comparing the zionist movement to other efforts of colonization, to talk about emulating them.

This isn't a game of semantics. I'm not just bringing this up just because he used the words.

What he's describing - conquest by force, preventing a Palestinian state, forcibly creating a Jewish majority - is what happened. And it's still what's happening.

This is the branch of zionism that went into practice and founded Israel.

#riki babbles

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definitelysel · 5 months

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Running fingers through their hair 🤍

ft. wriothesley, alhaitham and neuvillette.

synopsis : you convince them into playing with their hair and you end up taking undue advantage of it.

warnings : implied fem!reader, pet names, mention of murder and suicide (neuvillette – no there is no angst here.).

a/n : fluff but seriously hair is so floof in genshin and i love me some domesticated content.

ALHAITHAM 🌱

"No." He crossed his arms in disapproval at your request.

"Haitham! Come on!" You begged your husband to let you run your fingers through his hair in hopes to help him unwind and relax but he was adamant not letting you.

"I am sorry [Name], but I have a meeting due in an hour with the Dendro Archon about some administrative changes and as much as I would love to catch a break, I can't as of now." He exasperated, voice laced with annoyance.

Ever since becoming the Acting Grand Sage, Alhaitham had gotten just a tad bit more whinier. You weren't complaining since Alhaitham had the emotional quotient of a rock.

"Oh come on! It's still an hour away. C'mere." You patted your lap. He sighed but agreed. You found yourself combing your nifty fingers through his grey locks. They felt soft to touch. Who are you kidding, he was a well groomed gentleman despite his emotionally constipated personality.

His eyes were focused on a book he was reading, his eyes scanning the pages but his expression was relaxed. He won't admit it but he liked it. This was a simple yet intimate gesture.

You on the other hand, stared outside of the window, fingers still running through his hair. The scenery of Sumeru city stretched out far and wide for your eyes to see. The sky was beaming with light, birds were chit chatting on the tree branches and–

Snore.

Your focus gets redirected back at Alhaitham who now had the book resting on his face, his chest rising rhythmically as you heard him breathing softly.

You chuckled at the sight. He really did fall asleep. He looked so carefree when a moment ago he was complaining about meetings and work. How amusing. An idea bubbled up in your head.

When Alhaitham woke up, he realised that he had fallen asleep and hurried out of the room to meet up with Nahida in the Sanctuary of Surasthana.

"Good evening Acting Grand Sage, I was just waiting on you- pfft!" Nahida's cheeks puffed up and the little Archon started giggling.

"I am sorry for being late- wait, why are you laughing?" He tilted his expression in confusion. Could his late timing be a matter of amusement for his Archon?

"Who made two tiny ponytails in your hair using sparkly pink pyro slime hairties!" Nahida chuckled more, unable to hold her laughter.

"..." he reached up to feel the two tiny fountains of hair made by tying them up. Who could've done such a— you.

Needles to say, Alhaitham image of a big mighty serious guy in front of Nahida had now been ruined.

NEUVILLETTE 🌊

"Ma Chérie, what do you think of this case?" Neuvillette leaned back into his chair, papers spread out on his table. You picked up one of the documents and examined them.

What made you and Neuvillette a match made in heaven was that you were one of Fontaine's best lawyers and Neuvillette was the Ludex. You both would brainstorm cases together though Neuvillette always tended to quote how he is unbiased as it is his duty as the Chief Justice to not let personal feelings get in the way.

Still, you catch him staring at you during court proceedings, expression twisting and turning based on the situation out of his instinctive concern for you.

"Well, I think this is a classic murder which is being displayed to the common eye like a suicide." You sighed and put the paper back on the table, stretching your back from fatigue.

"I must say, that's quite a possibility. I'd suggest you investigate futher and seek the truth." He pondered, his gloved hand resting on his chin.

"Neuvi, can we take a break? I am tired." You slumped down in the chair across him, exhausting from the repetitive task at hand.

"Indeed. Repetition tends to tire out the mortal brain. Let's continue this after lunch." He nodded and started to sort the papers according to there designated folders.

"Can I play with your hair till you get the sorting papers thing done?" You asked him and he seemed amused at the idea. Neuvillette was never reluctant from trying out new things and gave into your small pleasures if they made you happy. "Sure."

You ran your fingers through his white locks. Honestly his hair were so beautiful, it would put women's hair to shame. Neuvillette took good care of them. You started using this opportunity to experiment different hairstyles on him.

Neuvillette glanced up, only to see his hair in a braid from his reflection in the mirror with a black ribbon in them. He stared at the braid for a good minute, "Hmm simple, practical and elegant. It's quite nice." He mused.

You were proud of yourself before Neuvillette asked if he could try hairstyles on you.

An afternoon spent with chuckles, smiles, whacky and pretty hairstyles.

WRIOTHESLEY 🧊

You watched as Wriothesley worked like a machine.

Step 1 : Grab the paperwork

Step 2 : Read and Sign it

Step 3 : Put in the "done" pile

The sounds of paper swiping and pen scribbling filled the room. You tried to entertain yourself with some novel but you could hear wriothesley grunted and groaning in annoyance.

"Y'know, the best thing is to simply not to do the work if you don't feel like it, wrio." You suggested, flipping to the next page in the novel.

"You're right. I'll settle for a nap, drink tea after I get up and then continue doing this..." he grumbled before getting up and making his way to his bed upstairs. You afte a few minutes got up and followed him.

You both laid beside eachother, under the blankets, soaking in eachother's warmth. "You joinin' me on a nap, sweetheart?" A smile crawled onto his face as he looked at you with his icy hues.

"No, I am simply here to take care of you, silly." You kissed his nose as he took your palm firmly in his and kissed the back of it, endearingly. You peppered his face with feather kisses, tousling his soft black locks earning a relaxed hum of content from him.

Wriothesley was a man of limited needs and such small moments with you were his saving grace from the buttload of prison paper work. His arm snaked around your waist as he kissed the top of your forehead before his hand rested on your cheeks, his eyes fluttering shut.

He yawned and made himself comfortable before drifting off into his well deserved nap.

But..

"Oh my god, you are associated with Sigewinne in this??" He baffled at the sight of his face covered in stickers. Melusines loved to play pranks but his own lover? Now that was some serious betrayal.

"First my back and now my face?" He stared at you, jaw dropped, wanting an explanation. You simply stifled a laugh before hearing a click.

"Sigewinne, did you just take a picture of me?? HEY! Don't run away!? [Name]! Sigewinne! You guys better delete that picture!" He chased after you two as you ran with Sigewinne in your arms. It was a moment of solace and perhaps another moment added in your archive of memories.

a/n : to say i am obsessed with domesticated genres and tropes is an understatement.

don't steal, copy, plagarize.

©definitelysel

not proof read.

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cozage · 1 year

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Hi! Could you write something with Sanji, Zoro, Law (maybe Izo) with a S/O that likes to do graffiti? Like, they have a small ring notebook (idk if it's this, but it's the one that opens and close and u can put more pages) where they keep their small arts, incluiding their name? Pretty pleasee

A/N: I hope I did you justice!! I kept Izo off because I haven’t met him yet (Still in Wano!) but when I get to him I might revisit this and add it!

Characters: gn reader x Sanji, Zoro, Law

Cw: just cute fluff :)

Total word count: 600

Graffiti on His Heart

Sanji

He finds your notebook by accident. He was cleaning up your room to surprise you, and found your binder in a pile of scattered files

You found him a few hours later, mesmerized by your drawings. You rush over to him, trying to cover it, but you see him staring at some decorated block letters “Sanji + Y/N” with a heart around it.

There’s other things around it, quotes you’d heard from the crew and things that happened around the ship that you doodled to make cute page accents, and you can see Sanji’s eyes looking at every single thing you drew, his fingers sliding down the page as he looks.

“You weren’t supposed to find that,” you say, your hands gripping around your notebook.

“What?” his eyes are still on your pages even as you take them away. He looks up at you, and it’s like he just realized you were there.

“Oh, Y/N!” He blushes hard when he realizes he's been caught snooping. “You never mentioned being an artist! This work is magnificent!”

“I dabble sometimes,” you say, closing it quickly. “Nothing fancy.”

“Nothing fancy?!!?” he scoffs. “You could design our logos! You could decorate this whole ship and give it some real character! You should talk to Franky!”

“Oh, thanks Sanji.” His compliment makes you blush. “But I don’t really like to show my work to others or show it off. I just use it as a creative outlet sometimes.”

“Oh!” He looks back at the notebook at smiles. “Well if you ever want someone to show it to, I would love to see the rest of them.”

You sheepishly give the notebook back to him, and the two of you flip through the rest of it together.

Zoro

Zoro walks up to you while you’re sitting on the deck. “Is this yours?” he asks, holding your sketch binder. “I found it in our room. Never seen it before.”

He opens it and flips through it, and you jump up to grab it. “It’s some really good stuff,” he mumbles, and you snatch it out of his hands and snap it closed.

“Thanks!” you say, holding it close to your chest.

“Hey wait, I was still looking!” He reaches out for it but you pull away.

“It’s mine!” you say, taking a few steps back from him so he can’t leap forward and grab it.

He huffs and rolls his eyes, turning away from you to go back to whatever he was doing.

“It looked really good,” he called back to you. “I liked the themed pages you made for each crew members. Especially ours.” He winked at you and walked away without another word.

You’ll occasionally find your binder moved from where you last placed it, or find little extra things (like subtle lines or shading) added to doodles as proof that Zoro was occasionally checking it out, but he doesn’t comment on it or tell anyone else about it. He just waits for you to bring it up and show you again before he outwardly comments on how much he likes your work.

Law

“Law,” you call out, walking into his office. “Have you seen my green binder anywhere?”

“Over here,” he yells from the back room. You walk into his lab to find it sitting on top of his books. He’s measuring out some kind of liquid, focused on getting it perfect. “I really liked what you did with our jolly roger on page three. I was thinking we could adopt it for some of the gear we have.”

“You looked through it?” you gasp, your eyes flicking over to your sketchbook.

His gaze moves away from the beaker in front of him and over to you for a moment. “Was I not supposed to? It was on my desk.”

You cursed silently. You had been doodling last night while he was reshelving some books, you must’ve left it behind when you all went to bed.

He stood up, abandoning his project to put his full attention on you now. “I didn’t know you liked to do graffiti and sketches. We could definitely spruce up the outside of the ship soon and use some of your designs, you know? Or have a crew wall in the common area. The names you did on page ten really captured the essence of each crew member, it’d be cool to have that displayed somewhere.”

You feel anxious at the thought, and Law can feel it. “You don’t have to,” he rushes to say. “It’s just a thought.”

“Can I think about it?” you ask, and he nods in agreement.

“You should show them though. The others. You’re talented, and I’m sure they’d like to see it.”

He goes back to his work, and he doesn’t bring it up again, but he clears off a wall in the common room and sets out some spray paint if you ever feel up for it. And he always keeps his eye out for a chance to steal a glimpse of new work you’ve done in your green binder.

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bloodykora · 7 months

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If you’re still doing Buggy headcanons: Sooo I always actually thought big noses on people are INCREDIBLY attractive. Give me men with noses that look just a bit too beaten up, women with noses that are big and wide, give me Roman noses and hawk noses and any unconventionally attractive nose and I am SWOONING.

… I feel the prompt almost writes itself at this point, what would Buggy think of someone who sees his funny looking nose not as a flaw but a mayor charm point and just constantly gives it kisses, traces it affectionately, boops it or comments (in all honesty and absolutely genuinely) how handsome and distinguished it makes him look, how it really suits him etc?

Wanna read about that man bluescreening because he hasn’t even treathened them yet to not make fun of his nose and they are already at the „flattering him to save themself“ stage? What do you MEAN you’re not saying that to safe yourself?!

This fucking anon/ask made me giggle so much, I literally showed it to my friends. I hope I did you and the prompt justice!

Enter the moment in Annie where Ms. Hannigan sees Warbucks’ diamond and goes “Oh my god, is that thing real?!” in shock but also delight. Me at that dude’s honker. (I want to be put on his nose like he has gangrene and I’m a leech who sucks on it to get the blood flow going) Also enter the Doja Cat quote of liking big noses.

- At first, dude is fucking weirded out. People have made comments and jokes about this stupid little red thing on his face and you… you think it’s attractive??? Huh.

- Definitely thinks you’re lying at first (and for the next few months), you’re literally the only person who is able to shut him up.

- Curtain drops, spot light is on, the blue haired clown walks in. Blabbering on about how his entrance should be more enthusiastic, but you got your eyes on your own prize, bright big red nostrils. If he wants an entrance, you’ll give him one by starting to clap loudly, getting so giddy that you start slightly hopping.

- “Oh my goodness, that is just.” Loss for words. “Are you making fun of me?” He approaches you, you hear him but his words don’t really seep into your brain at the moment. “It’s gorgeous, literally the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Your eyes are locked with his eyes and before he can even reply you reach up to brush your fingertip against his nose.

- Wants you dead first, no one has gotten close to touching it in years. And you, a low life nobody insults him like that. You get strung up immediately, your arm stretched so your fingers are out.

- “For that little ploy, I’ll take your fingers first and then your life.” Yes you’re scared but really could you regret it? This was the pirate’s life. “Oh, darn. Well, I’ll at least die happily. My eyes set on the most lovely nose I’ve seen in my years of life.”

- Thinks you’re still making fun of him until a few compliments later it clicks in his head that you mean it, with no hint of sarcasm or mockery. He lets you down, immediately ordering his crew to take care of the others you came with while he returns (runs) to his quarters. He’s a little intrigued by you, willing to die for a graze of his face. He keeps you as well, not that you’re upset by it.

- Crew thinks you’re hilarious, stopping a task to gaze longingly at the captain until either he realizes in which he shoos you back to work or he walks away. You boost his ego a ton though.

- From a distance he can ignore the thoughts he knows you’re thinking but up close, when they’re said in front of the crew, other pirates, hostages. He’s been known to cover your mouth with something so he doesn’t freeze up. When yall get together though, its game over.

- The first time you licked it, he almost saw some form of god. The angel's chorus was in his ears and he couldn’t help but say a little prayer in his head about you.

- Kissing it at least 3 times a day for good luck, rubbing up and down the bridge to soothe him to sleep, nipping at it when you feel playful. Not to mention he now has your voice in his head if he ever insults it going: “That’s not true! It is like one of the top 3 of the things I love about you and if you are mean to it again then I’m gonna cut it off and keep it all day!”

- Laying in his bed just watching him go about the day when you drop a “If my memory was wiped tomorrow I hope I’d get to keep at least the picture of your nose in my head.” before just turning over and going to rest. You hear him physically stop in his tracks and then a thud, he had let go of a boot.

- He doesn’t ever want to ask for praise about his nose on the days where he feels more insecure but you can tell by the way he rubs it on your collarbone and shoulder. You immediately pull out the good old “Have I told you how dashing attractive your nose is today? I seriously would just hop on and ri-” he doesn’t let you finish the sentence, cutting you off with a kiss knowing where it’s going.

- If anyone comments on his nose, you are the first to bite back. Threatening to cut out their tongue and string it up for future people to understand their place. Then squish Buggy while speaking highly of his stunning feature and how lucky they are to see it in the first place.

- You’re kinda crazy but hey, so is Buggy and he loves that you’re insane about him and his nose.

#buggy the clown #buggy x reader #buggy live action #some of yall are freaky and i love it

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iamcautiouslyoptimistic · 5 months

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🦅Russell Adler Headcanons

{Author's Note} Since I'm literally obsessed with this man, I thought I'd post my headcanons for him. All of these are based off of his canon backstory and character with bits of my own speculation thrown in so nothing should be too out of left field here. I may end up posting more of my thoughts on him soon so we shall see. Hope y'all like it and I'd love to hear what you think, as well as any headcanons you guys might have! Tagging @littlemissclandestine for this since she's an Adler fan. Let me know if I did this man justice lol🤭

‼️Content Warning: swearing, suggestive themes‼️

~ ~ ~

-Badass asshole

-Takes awhile for him to soften enough to really love someone

-Flirtatious jerk when he has a crush

-Shows he cares through small actions that can be hard to notice, as well as vague, rather backhanded compliments

-Shamelessly stares from behind those glasses of his

-Thinks it’s really cute when you wear his shades but would never admit it

-Stylish with heavy 70s influence

-Probably modeled for a male fashion magazine at some point LMAO

-Definitely knows how to dance

-Seems like the type to meme a bit on British people (specifically Park lol)

-Very sarcastic, sometimes to the point that you don’t realize he’s actually joking because he's always so monotone

-Secretly loves Belgian waffles (this is a reference to that one Bruce Thomas TikTok lol)

-Has a soft spot for the Beach Boys (I mean, look at that 🎶bushy, bushy blonde hairdo🎶 of his)

-Since so many people have asked and teased him about it (I see y'all in the fandom and I will not accept this slander lol) -> his hair isn’t fake, it’s actually pretty soft, very bouncy, he likes styling it

-Very particular about his appearance as it is one of the few things that he can truly control

-Prefers cats over dogs

-Can get obsessive about certain things and lose himself to them (i.e. his search for Perseus) -> Mason quote: “He spent so long searching for Perseus, he didn’t notice when he lost himself.”

-Still struggles with PTSD from his time in Vietnam, which, alongside his obsession with finding Perseus, is what led to his divorce

-Carries a lot of guilt and regret that he doesn’t like to acknowledge

-Started smoking to cope with the trauma of war, now has a nicotine addiction; when he’s really stressed, he chain smokes like a chimney

-Gets restless if he doesn’t have a cigarette

-Doesn’t sleep well and when he does, he usually wakes up every few hours

-Scars - Shrapnel? Abuse? Torture? Animal attack? No one knows and he’ll never tell

-Kiss or trace those scars and he WILL melt

-Difficult for him to let his guard down

-Has a tendency to isolate himself -> Mason quote: "You were never alone, Adler. Only in your own stubborn head."

-Always wearing those damn glasses cuz STYLE but also to hide his eyes to remain as a sort of blank, emotionless slate to other people

-Absent parents who never showed him real love or support as he grew up so he struggles to do the same for others -> they were the reason he joined the army as soon as he turned 18

-When it comes to cuddling, he loves holding you against his chest and running his fingers along your arm, cheek, or through your hair; small but intimate actions like that are his favorite

-Doesn’t like to show emotions at all, even during more intimate moments; he needs some coaxing to relax in that way, which takes time

NSFW Below👇🏻 (it's really not too bad tho)

-Sit on his lap👀

-Will pin your wrists during the sexy times🫣

-EDGING & OVERSTIMULATION

-After his divorce, he's tended to view sex as more of a transaction where both parties are fulfilling needs for each other so he'd be selfish at first but as your relationship progresses, he'd become far more generous

#russell adler #russell adler x reader #russell adler x you #russell adler headcanons #call of duty black ops cold war #cod bocw #call of duty #cod #Ren's writing #mine mine mine

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arkhamknightz · 7 months

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WHEN WALLY FALLS IN LOVE

pairing : wally west x superhero!reader

summary/ask: “would you be ok writing something fluffy-domestic with a gender neutral/ non-binary superhero reader? Like what they like to do together when they're at home or at the other's appartment? I personally think Wally's a huge romantic guy and that he'd love to have someone who's also very into that. Not like big/expensive demonstration of love, but more subtle/little things but very meaningful. (I would love to quote poems to that handsome and lovely redhead hahaha)”

warnings: title based off of “when emma falls in love” by taylor swift (sorry i have a song title theme going on at the moment idk why its just so cutesy to me so sorry)

notes: i hope i did this justice.. i kinda just found a poem off the internet?:?/? i dont know of many poems so i hope thats okay, i tried to incorporate like small gestures like the sidewalk rule and having your partners things all over your space if that makes sense? anywho i hope this lives up to expectations :’)

It was no secret Wally loved to flirt, even as your current boyfriend. He had an arm draped around your shoulder as you both walked down the street into your apartment. Nothing important had been going on for the last day, so you both decided to stay over at his apartment at take advantage of it.

He looked over at you and smiled, making sure he stayed between you and the street as you guys made your way to his building. A pair of headphones were being shared between the both of you, a wired earbud dangling from your ears as you walked close together. Wally claimed listening to music sounded better with his wired earbuds, although you knew it was so he had an excuse to be closer to you.

He opened the door for you as you reached the apartment building. Your hands intertwined as he walked you both to the elevator, you pressed your finger on his floor number and out of the corner of your eye, you see a smile take over his face. No matter how long you’ve both been dating, he loves you just as much as the day before. He knew the floor of his apartment wasn’t crazy information. But, you had clicked it without thinking twice. It made his heart flutter.

As you both made it into his apartment, you kicked your shoes off right next to his and jumped on his couch, grabbing your favorite blanket. The smile on his face hadn’t left, Wally completely infatuated by you. You knew to kick off your shoes without a single thought, and your favorite blanket being on the couch of his place filled his heart with so much love.

He walked up behind you, leaning over the couch to wrap his arms around you and kiss your head softly. “I love you.” You turned around to look at him, a smile across your face as you gave him a small kiss. “I love you too!”

He pulled away to walk to his kitchen, a shelf in the pantry completely dedicated to your favorite foods, snacks and drinks. You had a designated area in every room of his apartment. Your side of the bed where your bedside table was littered with little trinkets and a book you had been reading out loud for the both of you before going to sleep. You had your section of the shower and the sink, part of his closet and dressers, storage area under his bed for your suit and any other things you may wanna leave over.

He grabs a new snacks for the both of you before sitting next to you on the couch. You pick up the other half of your blanket, placing it over his legs with a smile on your face as he sets the snacks down on the coffee table. He hands you the remote as you log into his streaming services, clicking on his profile before settling on a movie you both had talked about wanting to watch.

He looked around, a smile on his face as he knew both of your apartments were crawling with each others items. He even made sure any of your favorite foods that needed to be frozen or kept in the fridge was in your own area so he remembered not to eat them. Wally made sure to keep his apartment stocked for you, checking each area every week before grocery shopping to see what he needed to stock up on for you.

You consumed his every thought, he was so helplessly in love with you. Everything he did in his day to day life made him think of you. Out on a mission and he speeds by some flowers? He makes a mental note to bring you a new bouquet or pick some of the ones he saw on the way back home. Going to the store? He keeps an eye out for anything else you may want, like a plushie or a new snack he think you would enjoy.

He sees a dog out on a walk outside? He’s snapping a photo to send to you or tells you about it once you both get back home. It’s no secret Wally’s scared to loose you. What you both do is dangerous, so he makes sure to appreciate every little thing about you, even the things that remind him of you deserved to be appreciated.

You both sat in silence watching the movie, no words needing to be spoken between the both of you as you sat cuddled on his couch. You were practically sitting on his lap, both of his arms were wrapped around you, his body chest against your back as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

His hand soothingly rubbed against your skin, an occasional kiss was landed on your neck as you watched together. There was nothing you appreciated more than Wally’s small gestures of love. He planned every date with as much effort as your first, your vase of flowers that you kept in your apartment hadn’t been left empty since you both met. Even while on long missions he made sure you somehow got your flowers.

By the time the sun had started to set, Wally brought you both up to his apartment buildings rooftop, a place that you both commonly hung out at together. A small poem book was held in your hand as you both sat against the wall, your head instantly landing on his shoulder.

You opened to a random page, a small smile gracing your features as you looked at the sky, then at your boyfriend who had a wide grin on his face. You took a look back down at the floor before beginning to read.

“I love your hands. They are big hands, firm hands, gentle hands. Hair grows on the back near the wrist, I have seen the nails broken and stained from hard work. And yet when you touch me, I grow small… and quiet… and happy. If I might only grow small enough, to curl up into the hollow of your palm. Your left palm, curl up, lie close, and cling, so that I might know myself always there.. even if you forgot.”

He smiled, a small chuckle leaving his mouth. “If we don’t get married one day I’m gonna be so pissed off.” You smiled at him, a laugh escaping from your lips. “Really? Like how pissed off scale from 1-10” He pretended to think for a moment. “100” “That wasn’t an option.” “I know but 10 wasn’t big enough to prove how upset I would be.”

He looked over at you with a smile. He always seemed to be smiling while he was around you, huh? A single look at him and anyone could see how in love he is with you. Coming up on the rooftop and reading a page out of a small poetry book he had gotten you was a nightly tradition. No matter what time it was, before settling down, no matter where you were, the small booklet was brought out for a page reading.

The red haired boy took a look at you, the sunsets remaining light making you glow. You both stood up after spending a few more minutes outside quietly speaking to each other. You both walked hand in hand back to his apartment, kicking off your slides before changing and hopping into his bed.

He walked in behind you after a few minutes, your favorite coffee mug in his hand. “Got you a drink.” He smiled at you, a small kiss being placed on his cheek as he placed it on your bedside table. “Mm gonna go shower and get changed alright?” He looked at you, a soft expression painted on his face.

You looked up at him and smiled brightly, eyes full of love as you nodded and gave him one last kiss. “Mmkay, just don’t take too long” He let out a soft chuckle. “I won’t, I promise.” He took one last glance at you before leaving to walk into the bathroom, a small grin and a light blush was left on your face. Wallace West is completely and utterly in love with you. And he knew that would never change.

#wally west #wally west x reader #kid flash #kid flash x reader #young justice #flash #the flash #flash x reader #wallace west x reader #wally west fluff #wally west fanfic #wally west fanfiction #kid flash fluff #kid flash fanfic #kid flash fanfiction #young justice x reader

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ascendanttarot · 8 months

Text

PAC: Reassuring Messages From The Universe

Hi everyone! I have a feeling some people may need a pick-me-up at the moment hence why I made this reading. I think this may be my longest reading so far! There will be signs listed before to ensure the message is for you. If you resonate with one or more signs, that is meant to be your reading. At the end, each pile will also have a quote and channelled song to listen to that resonates with your reading. The specific lyrics that I heard are listed below the title. :)

Please remember your fate is not set in stone so your answers may change depending on the actions you take and will take if you please. Tarot is not a substitute for professional advice. The images I’ve used are not mine.

From left to right, Pile 1, 2 & 3.

Pile 1

Signs:

You may be a Lana Del Rey fan, or at least have one of her songs be your one of your favourite songs

You may be really creative. Specifically, I see most of you here are artists because I just saw an image of someone’s hand covered in paint like a make-shift palette to find the right colour, or someone wiping away excess paint on their skin

You may be left-handed. To be honest, this kind of relates back to the art thing because I just heard someone swearing because their pencil sketches were smudged by their hand again lol

You are a ride-or-die friend. I’m not picking up any signs that the people who picked this pile could be ‘low maintenance friends’ because all I could feel was a loyal and passionate heart, particularly towards their friends

Okay this is an odd message but some of you here are DEHYDRATED, like you’re not even thirsty anymore this is beyond that. Please drink some water if you haven’t at all today

Back to music here, but do some of you spend hours making playlists? I just saw someone using a lot of their free time to curate playlists. I even saw some of you here like making playlists for specific people

Another weird message here but I just smelled crayons, so I’m interpreting this in a few different ways: you may be connected to your inner child, or you may work with children/have plans to work with children, or you would like to be a parent/are a parent

Your Cards: The Emperor, Knight of Cups rx, Page of Wands rx, Justice rx, The Star, 10 of Pentacles

Your Reading:

Okay, the first thing I heard while looking at these cards were the words, “Lost time” and I think that sums up half of your reading quite well.

The cards show that at the beginning of this particular situation, you felt like you were fully in your power. A very Mars-dominant energy to be in, or an Aries energy to be in wherein you felt like you could take on anything. It’s like this was a time when your confidence was at an all-time high about yourself, but also about something. For most of you, this ‘something’ was a project. For some of you, this could be a relationship. The point is, this was something in your life you felt was given to you like you’ve waited for this and finally you’ve got it, but that hope didn’t last.

As we moved on, I felt heavy feelings of frustration. Like you were ready to spring into action but something or someone else was telling you to wait, like they were stringing you along. At the back of your mind, you knew you were being taken advantage of, but you decided to stick with it anyway. I just heard, “It’s worth it.” So maybe this was something you wanted for so long that you felt like you had to stick to it because you couldn’t see how another opportunity could be better than this. I’m really sensing this was a career move for some of you here. Maybe some of you were promised a promotion but you didn’t get it. Maybe some of you were given false hope by a higher-up that this project idea of yours would be taken seriously, but you just had to wait for the right time.

And these people kept giving you excuses. If this were a relationship, I could sense that maybe this was someone who you thought would be ready to fully commit to a relationship, but they never ended up being mature enough to make that decision. It could even be a platonic relationship, and this person wanted you and them to be more casual friends, but you were ready to be a ride-or-die as I’ve stated in the signs above. The overwhelming feeling here is that you got the shorter end of the stick.

But, of course, this doesn’t last. The universe is trying to tell you that if you were broken down before and were able to build yourself back up again, then you can do that now. For most of you, I feel you’ve already left this situation and are worried that this was a mistake, and that you shouldn’t have left in the first place, but the cards are saying otherwise.

Your hope was burned out because of what you’ve gone through. You’ve sacrificed your hope and your sense of self, but the next chapter of your life won’t ask you to do that anymore. If anything, this new chapter will nurture all of those traits you have always felt were intrinsically part of who you are.

If this were a relationship, you’d probably take a break from dating for a while, but your friendships will be a cornucopia of love and support, with new and old friends alike. If this was a job or project, a new opportunity will not only cause success, but stable success. The universe is giving you the new direction you need. “One door closes so the other one opens.”

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 1!

Your Channelled Song: Let The Light In by Lana Del Rey and Father John Misty

“Put the Beatles on, light the candles, go back to bed”

“Put the TV on and the flowers in a vase, lie your head”

“Ooh, let the light in

At your back door yelling 'cause I wanna come in

Ooh, turn your light on

Look at us, you and me back at it again”

Pile 2

Signs:

You may be a blunt and direct person, and you may have even gotten in trouble for this in the past. Really, I could sense you’re just a BS detector. I also saw someone rolling their eyes and saying “C’mon, talk to me straight I’ve got things to do!” haha!

I just heard ‘homebody’, so I feel like plenty of introverts have picked this pile!

You may be the sarcastic, unintentionally funny friend. If you know you know. But to specify I saw someone in a group setting saying something like “I hate half of the people in this room/I didn’t want to go—I got dragged here by my friends, please don’t talk to me” and someone laughing because they didn’t think you were serious (You were)

You’ve got a dry/witty sense of humour when you do try to make a joke intentionally, but either no one gets it, or it may be a touch too dark for their taste (Nothing problematic though!)

I got tempted to swear so many times writing out these signs so you may swear a lot. Like sometimes, if you’re in a professional environment you may find it difficult to filter out your words because of how automatic it is for you

I also feel like you’re really articulate. The first word I actually thought to describe your humour was ‘sardonic’ and I wasn’t even sure what that word meant so I can guarantee you that did not come from my mind (Yes, I had to Google the meaning)

For astrological signs, you may have Scorpio and/or Virgo in your chart. Possibly a stellium. With how active your mind is coming through in this reading and how much communication is highlighted in this section, I would not be surprised if your dominant planet is Mercury, or if you have many aspects involving that planet in your chart

Your Cards: The Hermit rx, 2 of Cups, 5 of Swords, 2 of Swords rx, King of Wands

Your Reading: Pile 2, please don’t get mad, but when I opened up to your energy, I was expecting a different message than what I delivered right now. I was ready to get serious, to go into deep waters and dive face first. But when I saw the cards… I may or may not have audibly giggled.

Not in a bad way! Hear me out before you scroll, I promise I’m saying this with the same fondness as a best friend, but pile 2, I know you’ve been in hermit mode for a while and are very comfortable staying there, but the universe isn’t really going to let that slide. For most of you, I could see you not wanting to go out but being pushed to do so by a friend. For some of you, you’ve even been convinced by some of your close friends to go on blind dates or new places to meet people in general, and you go but you really don’t want to.

The message here is clear: You’re going to meet someone new. For most of you, this will be a romantic partnership. For my aromantic folks or my readers who are simply not at all interested in romance, this will be a platonic relationship. Whatever this is, I could specifically see one person here coming out of nowhere and earnestly offering you love or friendship with respectful persistence, you wouldn’t even know what to do with them at first. I think a lot of you here have closed yourself off, not to your pre-existing close relationships, but to new people. This person is going to test that wall you’ve built around yourself and despite how much you try to intimidate them, they are not going away. Think of someone with ‘golden retriever’ vibes, which is funny because as I was tapping into your energy I got ‘black cat’ vibes from you. (I just heard, “The Arthur to my Merlin” and “The Gwen to my Morgana” whether platonically or romantically doesn’t matter, but wow, do I have some Merlin fans/old Merlin viewers in this pile)

In all seriousness though, I don’t think you have this boundary up for no reason. I’m seeing a very specific message of someone in the past that you used to trust no longer being in your life because they’ve done you wrong. This could possibly even be a betrayal of trust? Like you told them a secret, but they shared it with one person, and it quickly spread through word-of-mouth. The severing of that relationship was as fast as the betrayal done by the other person.

This made you more guarded towards newer people in your life. But also, I could see this even had a domino effect making you wary of new experiences and environments too because you’re scared you’ll meet a new person that way. The universe is saying this past relationship has clouded your judgment and will cloud your judgment when you meet this new person. What you don’t realise is that this person could actually be good for you if you take a chance. Some of you may be worried about co-dependency. The universe is actually saying that a relationship like this will actually make you more independent, and this is because this person is emotionally mature enough to actually commit. They’ll give, you’ll take. You’ll give, they’ll take. It feels like two people who genuinely see each other as equals, and therefore respect each other as such. Their commitment and genuine belief in you will make you a more confident person in the future, but more importantly, you’ll be bolder in your choices in life. You’ll grow to have a brave heart that other people will appreciate in you, and that you’ll appreciate in yourself. “Fortune favours the bold.”

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 2!

Your Channelled Song: King and Lionheart by Of Monsters and Men

“We won’t run, and we won’t run, and we won’t run”

“I’ll be here to hold your hand”

“'Cause you're my king and I'm your lionheart”

Pile 3

Signs:

Your sun sign may be an earth sign or an air sign. I also feel like some people who picked this pile may be a Leo rising or have a Leo Midheaven, but more on the Leo rising actually

I feel like some of you here may have curly hair

You may be a part of the LGBTQIA+ community

You prefer winter palettes over lighter and pastel colours for your clothes. I’m not getting a specific style but the colours here are striking. Either an all-black outfit but with the same shade of black making you appear more put together, or someone wearing jewel-toned colours like emerald green or a very striking purple

You may like wearing statement pieces. I saw this image of you in someone else’s point of view, admiring a watch you always wear or commenting on how they know you’ve just been in the room because they smelled your perfume. Picture this, someone walks into an office and just says, “Was pile 3 here—actually, you don’t need to answer that I know they were here.” And the other person who doesn’t know you getting really confused so they clarify by saying, “Oh, I know they were here because they’re the only one in this building that wears (insert fragrance here)”

Some of you here may have a ritual of listening to music in the morning while you’re getting ready to hype yourself up. All genres are coming up right now, (No, seriously. It went from Gangsta’s Paradise to successful by Ariana Grande songs to It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock 'N' Roll)) but what unifies these songs together is that it’s there to put you in a good mood in the morning

You may be interested in working for yourself by either starting a new business or working your way to the top. Highly ambitious energy coming from this pile, but in all the best ways possible; it makes your energy infectious. Yes. That word specifically. Just a really great energy to be around

Your Cards: 5 of Wands, 3 of Pentacles, 8 of Swords, High Priestess, The Star (clarified by 3 of Cups)

Your Reading:

Okay, I want to preface this reading by saying that this pile feels similar to pile 1. You may not have had the same circumstances, but the arc is similar, so if you are attracted to pile 1, feel free to read it as a supplementary reading after this.

There’s a very clear energy here that you may have had a falling out with people in your life. This could be a group of co-workers, friends, or even family members. There was chaos surrounding your previous situation and you felt like people were constantly at each other’s throats. If it was not as aggressive as this, it is possible that at the very least you were in an environment you did not feel safe. I think these people showed their true colours, so to speak, and it made you realise how you shouldn’t have trusted certain individuals involved. The thing is though, I can feel you being an outsider in this situation. Like from the start of all of this, you made it clear to everyone you did not want to get involved. I literally just heard, “Get over yourself.” from this pile, so maybe some of you here may even feel that people were blowing up a whole pile of nothing, and/or that they all needed to act more maturely about the situation. I also feel like one person may have taken something personally when they shouldn’t and that could’ve made you particularly frustrated because you felt this person missed the point completely.

I could see that you tried providing counsel to try to smooth things out, but no one listened. This was your last straw. You left or will leave this situation and the universe applauds you for doing so. I think a lot of people in this situation had a victim complex. This is not a judgment on them, it’s simply a message that they have a lot of unhealed wounds they need to work on. You didn’t stand by this though, and this led to you making your boundaries clear and cutting yourself off completely. For some of you, this may be a temporary situation (I heard, “Fix this or don’t bother coming back.”) but for most of you, this may be a temporary step away from these people.

The universe saw that you trusted your gut and left and are rewarding you as such. I think you have a logical mind and are not used to making decisions intuitively, but this all happened because you did what felt right, and this show of trust is going to lead to positive effects.

For the people who picked this pile, I’m getting a strong message that your intuition is a muscle, and that’s true for most people but it’s especially true for yourself. I think you’ll be asked to make more quick decisions in the next phase of your life, Some decisions have larger consequences than others, but most will be small and trivial decisions such as, “Which café should I visit today?”. Before you might’ve picked the familiar or logical option, but now you’re allowing more spontaneity in your life, and this may even surprise you a little bit. I just heard one of your friends saying, “But you always go there!” and seeing you shrug before saying, “Well, I’m in the mood to try something new.”

This will reward you with a new sense of self. The 3 of cups traditionally has a more social meaning, like friends who see each other as equals coming together to celebrate, but for you, I could see this as different sides of yourself finally living in harmony with one another. With all of that stress gone, you’ll finally have the chance to recognise how deeply complex and interesting you are, and you’ll do so with an acceptance you may have not known you needed. “To know myself is to love myself.”

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 3!

Your Channelled Song: “New Person, Same Old Mistakes” by Tame Impala

“I can just hear them now

"How could you let us down?"”

“Two sides of me can't agree”

“Feel like a brand new person… I don’t care I’m in love”

#pick a card #pac #pick a pile #tarot #tarot reading #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #divination #spirituality #witchcraft #witchblr #witches of tumblr #messages from the universe

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youthofpandas · 4 months

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Emil Sinclair & Frau Eva

A consistent problem I’ve run into while discussing the novel Demian is the rejection of Emil’s relationship with Eva in favor and treating it as if it is nothing but a tool to analyze the relationship that he shares with Demian. People treat his feelings towards Eva as fake, imagined, and entirely as misplaced affections that he holds towards Demian and become quite defensive when told that isn’t the case in the actual text of the book. I’m no stranger to interpreting things in ways that don’t quite match canon, especially when they make me uncomfortable, and it is clear to me that discomfort or even disgust is how a lot of people view this relationship as given the age gap between them and the general preference for seeing Emil with Demian instead of Eva. I have no problems with that aspect of this little debate, discomfort is more than allowed and I’m not writing this to force people into liking the idea of their relationship.

What I am writing this for, and what I do find a problem with, is the way that people attempt to force an erasure of this aspect of the book and will accuse people of misreading the novel when acknowledging its existence. To say that someone does not understand the book or Emil’s character because they made reference to his love for Eva or his general affinity for mature women just seems to signal that there is a confusion of what the book actually says. Emil does love Eva and it is not misplaced love for Demian. From the moment he dreams of her to the moment Demian passes a kiss from his mother to Emil, Emil loves her. (That doesn’t mean he doesn’t also love Demian, by the way, but this post/essay isn’t about that, so I won’t be dwelling on the feelings he holds for Demian).

This is not going to be a complete, in-depth look at her character and role in the story and will instead simply focus on the actual relationship Emil has with her throughout the story and the ways that the novel sets up their relationship and makes it explicitly clear what sort of relationship exists between them. I feel it has been a massive disservice to her character to view her as nothing more than a woman getting in the way of a relationship or as if all of the quite beautiful descriptions of her person and effect on Emil are inconsequential and/or imagined, so I hope that this does some justice to Hesse’s work.

All quotes taken from the translation of the novel done by W. J. Strachan.

To begin, I will actually be talking about Max Demian himself, because Eva can be understood through son as he acts as a bit of a proto-Eva in Emil's life. They have a similar appearance, as it is often noted, they both bear the ‘sign’, they are deeply linked to Emil’s personal growth and relationship with the world, so to get a full grasp of his relationship with Eva it is also important to look at how he sees Demian and the key overlaps between them. So, let's look at one of the descriptions Emil writes of his dear friend.

This remarkable boy seemed older than he looked; he did not in fact seem like a boy at all. He moved among us more childish members of the school strangely mature, like a man, or rather a gentleman. He was not popular; he took no part in games, still less in the general rough and tumble and it was only the firm self-confident tone he adapted in his attitude towards the masters that won him favour with the other boys. He was called Max Demian.

Note how it focuses on his age and maturity, even though he is literally a couple years older than Emil, spiritually, thematically, he is older than even that. He is like a man, an adult. Here's a similar passage from another moment where Emil describes his friend:

I saw Demian's face and remarked that it was not a boy's face but a man's and then I saw, or rather became aware, that it was not really the face of a man either; it had something different about it, almost a feminine element. And for the time being his face seemed neither masculine nor childish, neither old nor young but a hundred years old, almost timeless and bearing the mark of other periods of history than our own.

Once again we see that he is more than a child, Demian is aged, grown, but not old nor young. In contrast to Emil who is youthful and immature, someone who has not yet begun his true journey. Here we also see a hint at there being a feminine element to Demian. Demian represents not just the fact that he is mature and capable of leading Emil through the spiritual journey he so longs for, but that he is not limited to just one world. He is not stuck in the dichotomy of light and dark, of masculine and feminine, of age and youth, he is both and neither.

Continuing the subject of maturity, we can take a look at the moment we share with Alfons Beck, a relationship that Emil describes with "we seemed to have a perfect understanding of each other" and, while a character who does not stay around long, acts as a mentor in the way he teaches Emil to grow up when it concerns sexuality and affections. It isn't long after this moment that Emil begins his venture into the world of darkness and almost loses himself to indulgence and excess of drinking and what have you, but it is clear from the later scenes with Knauer that Emil retains this personal growth surrounding sex and desire.

I heard amazing things; things I would not have thought possible were trotted out as part of everyday reality and seemed quite normal. Alfons Beck had already gained experience of women in his less than eighteen years of life. He had learned, for example, that girls were only out for flirtation and attention, which was all very agreeable but not the real thing. There was more chance of that with mature women. They were much more reasonable. You could talk with Frau Jaggelt who kept the stationer's shop, and a book could not contain all the various goings-on behind her counter. I sat there spell-bound and stupefied. Certainly I could never have loved Frau Jaggelt - but nevertheless it was terrific. There seemed to be hidden springs as least for my seniors, whose existence had never suspected. It all had a false ring about it, a more ordinary and insignificant flavour than love should have, in my opinion, but at all events it was life and adventure and I was sitting next to someone who had actually experienced it and to whom it seemed a normal thing.

By the end of this talk, Emil feels like a boy listening to a man. He understands that in this area he is behind, yet still is drawn to it. Alfons Beck is here, quite clearly, setting up and building upon the themes of maturity, especially that of women. This is very important seeing how it is one of the first times he is so explicit about his feelings regarding sexuality, and it is not by accident that this conversation regards mature, older women.

Another element here is that Emil points out that he finds more passing encounters, attraction without the intent to form a significant relationship, to be not founded in love - or at least the type of love he desires. I point this out because it establishes the idea that the types of relationships and attraction Emil is most interested in are ones that are serious and lasting. Quick, temporary connections excite him, intrigue him, because of course they do, he is a young man away from home and free to explore the world for the first time in his life and he has wants and desires. But, as we will see in his actions towards Eva later on, what he is most interested in a more true kind of love.

I'm going to hop straight to the painting next, as it is the real start of his relationship with Eva. There's a lot with the painting that I don't believe needs to be quoted directly so I've chosen a description of his realization of who it reminds him of.

Then one morning when I awoke from one of these dreams, I suddenly recognized it. It looked so fantastically familiar and seemed to call out my name. It appeared to know me as a mother, as if its eyes had been fixed on me all my life. I stared at the picture with beating heart, the close, brown hair, the half-feminine mouth, the strong forehead with its strange brightness-which it had assumed of its own accord-and I realized that my recognition, my rediscovery and knowledge of it were becoming more and more a reality.

He says after this that it resembles Demian, it was not his features exactly but there is no mistaking the fact that it was ultimately Demian's face. A motherly, matured woman version of Demian. This will later be seen to be the same description he gives Eva, even beyond the fact that he explicitly states that it is her as I'll quote later.

The effects this painting have on him are, as we all know, quite extreme and trigger many contradictory feelings within him. It is obvious that he worships it, he puts it on the wall in a way he can look at the face first thing in the morning, the same way one would look at a lover in bed upon waking up, he cries over it and clearly experiences intense lust and attraction towards the figure depicted in it. He also finds these feelings towards it revolting and terrifying, and would sometimes call it a devil and a murderer. At this point in the story, he still has lingering shame for these sorts of desires, even if he has begun to embrace them in some ways, he hasn’t fully overcome his belief that the world is separated in two halves and as a result views many things in extremes of both the most beautiful parts of the world of the light and the worst of the tempting world of darkness.

But for full context on this painting, we also need to look at the dream in which its subject appeared in, the most important dream of his life that he dreamed of night after night.

This dream, the most important and enduring of my life, followed this pattern: I was on my way to my parents' home and over the main entrance the heraldic bird gleamed gold on an azure ground. My mother walked towards me but when I entered and she was about to kiss me, it was no longer she but a form I had never set eyes on, tall and strong with a look of Max Demian and my painted portrait - yet it was somehow different and despite the robust frame, very feminine. The form drew me to itself and enveloped me in a deep, shuddering embrace. My feelings were a mixture of ecstasy and horror, the embrace was at once an act of worship and a crime. The form that embraced me had something about it of both my mother and my friend Demian and also this embrace violated every sense of religious awe, yet it was bliss. Sometimes I awoke out of this dream with a feeling of ecstasy, sometimes in mortal fear and with a tortured conscience as if I had committed some terrible sin.

Here we see Emil's most important dream: one where he is filled with ecstasy when embracing a figure that is a sort of halfway point between his mother and his friend. I'm going to share another passage from later, when he sees Frau Eva for the first time since childhood.

Sensing my interest in them, she took me into the house, looked out a leather album and showed me a photograph of Demian's mother. I could hardly remember her but now that I had the small photograph before me my heart stood still. It was the picture of my dreams. There she was, the tall, almost masculine figure, looking like her son, but with maternal traits, traits of severity and deep passion, beautiful and alluring, beautiful and unapproachable, daimon and mother, fate and lover. There was no mistaking her! The discovery that my dream image existed on this earth affected me like some fantastic miracle! So there was a woman who looked like that, who bore the features of my destiny! Where was she? Where? And she was Demian's mother!

So, this figure he dreams about, the figure he paints? It is Frau Eva. And we see here that, much like how her son is described as feminine, she is described as masculine. She also is inherently full of contrasts: daimon and mother, beautiful and unapproachable. Frau Eva and Demian follow the same pattern of being opposing natures who exist in one, the deconstruction of the binary and embracing something that is less easy to categorize. They embody the same ideals as Abraxas, of Emil's dreams.

Speaking of Abraxas and Frau Eva, here is his proper introduction to her as an adult.

With eyes moistened with tears I gazed at my painting, absorbed in my reflections. Then my glance dropped. Under the picture of the bird in the opened door stood a tall woman in a dark dress. It was she. I was unable to utter a word. From a face that resembled her son's, timeless and ageless and full of inward strength, the beautiful, dignified woman gave me a friendly smile. Her gaze was fulfillment, her greeting a homecoming. Silently I stretched out my hands towards her. She took them both in her warm. firm hands. "You are Sinclair. I recognized you at once. Welcome!" Her voice was deep and warm. I drank it up like sweet wine. And now I looked up and into her quiet face, the black unfathomable eyes, at her fresh, ripe lips, the open, queenly brow that bore the 'sign.' "How glad I am!" I said and kissed her hands. "I believe I have been on my way here the whole of my life and now I have reached home at last." She gave a motherly smile.

Eva makes her entrance quite literally alongside the painting of Abraxas Emil painted not long after he put a name to the face of the painting he made of her. He describes this as reaching home, incredibly important to him after he has been feeling so outcast from the home he grew up in. And he loves her deep voice, her quiet face that resembles her son's, and her friendly, motherly smile.

Eva and Abraxas, the god he worships and adores, are linked beings. This all builds on to the Demian and Cain, Eva and Eve connections. Eve the mother of both Cain the murderer and Abel the victim, Eve the woman born of God who spoke to the Devil and committed the first sin (which to bearer's of the Sign was surely not a sin), is now properly linked to Abraxas and it all feeds quite well into a similar theme. Eva is mother and she is home.

Eva is the origin of Demian, an embodiment of his ideals with even more maturity, she created the one who created Emil in a manner of speaking. She truly represents a world that is not divided into light and darkness, the very world that Emil chases after and wishes to believe in. It only makes sense, then, that he would find her so attractive and want her, desire her. By this point, so late into the novel, Emil is quite grown up, literally and spiritually, compared to the young, lost boy he was at the start. He has accepted sexual desires, accepted the world is complex and rejected many of the beliefs he held as a child, and he wants Eva the way any grown man might.

But, of course as we established earlier, Emil wants more than a passing encounter fueled by lust. He wants a real kind of love. And when he has gotten to know her and understand her as a real person rather than just a figure in his dreams, he writes the following, detailed, heavily romantic, filled with yearning and love passage:

On many occasions I believed that it was not really just her as a person, whom I yearned for with all my being, but that she existed as an outward symbol of my inner self and her sole purpose was to lead me more deeply into myself. Things she said often sounded like replies from my unconscious mind to burning questions which tormented me. There were other moments when as I sat beside her I was consumed with sensual desire and kissed objects which she had touched. And little by little sensual and transcendental love, reality and symbol mingled together. As I thought about her in my room at home in tranquil absorption, I felt her hand in mine and her lips touching my lips. Or I would be conscious of her presence, look into her face, speak with her and hear her voice, not knowing whether she was real or a dream. I began to realize how one can be possessed of a lasting and immortal love. I would gain knowledge of a new religion from my reading, and it would give me the same feeling as a kiss from Eva. She stroked my hair and smiled with all her warm affection, and I had the same feeling as when I took a step forward in knowledge of my inner self. Her person embraced everything that was significant and fateful for me. She could be transformed into each one of my thoughts and each of my thoughts could be transformed into her.

This paragraph here always sticks with me, the way his love transcends reality. It mirrors the way that Demian's existence is questionably real, that the moments he shared with the Demian family are somewhere fundamentally between imagined and real. Does she kiss him or is it imagined? It hardly matters, because reality and symbol are mixing together and becoming one and the same. These are his manifestations, these are his calls to the world to make his love true. And that love is so true in his heart he can hardly tell when it is real.

Also I just want to point out how cute he is when he's in love... kissing the things that belong to her, linking his learning and his growth as a person to her. It is similar to his behavior with Beatrice, in that this woman is helping inspire him to improve upon himself, but now it is not the desperate clutch to an unknown figure as a guiding light he can never speak to, it is a woman who pulls answers from his own mind, a woman who exists as a symbol of his inner self. Frau Eva, again just like Demian, is an extension of Emil's self and soul.

Alright, so I have now established Emil's feelings towards Frau Eva, but what of her feelings towards him? This following passage comes immediately after the one before

When I arrived back at H-- I stayed away from her for two days in order to savour this security and independence from her physical presence. I had dreams too in which my union with her was consummated in a symbolic act. She was a star and I was a star on my way to her, and we met and mutually attracted, remained together and circled round each other blissfully in all eternity to the accompaniment of the music of the spheres. I told her this dream on my first visit on returning. "It is a lovely dream," she said quietly, "Make it true!"

Emil tells her that he had a dream of the two of them in which they consummated their union (which, just to make this abundantly clear, means having sex. there is no getting around that fact) through a symbolic act of entwining around each other for all of eternity and Frau Eva tells him to make it true. She tells him, explicitly, that this dream he has of them making love is lovely and that he should work on making it happen in reality. This is of course a further extension of her trying to help Emil manifest a kind of mutual attraction between them through his extended longing and deep, honest desires. While she does not currently reciprocate the romantic affections he has for her, she is clear about being open to the idea of that one day being the case.

Let's also look at this bit, which is mostly about Sinclair's affections towards her but provides a bit of a conclusion to this theme of manifesting her love.

One day this foreboding came over me with such force that my love for Eva flared up suddenly and caused me great pain. My God, what a short time I had left; soon I should no longer be seeing her, no longer hearing her good, assured step about the house, no longer finding her flowers on my table! And what had I achieved? I had luxuriated in dreams and comfort instead of winning her, instead of struggling for her and clasping her to me forever! Everything she had told me about true love came back to me, a kindred stirring, admonitory messages, and as many gentle promises and words of encouragement, too, perhaps; and what had I made out of it all? Nothing. I stood in the middle of the room, summoned my whole conscious being and thought of Eva. I wanted to gather all the power of my soul in order to make her aware of my love and attract her to me. She must come; she must long for my embrace, my kisses must tremble on her ripe lips.

Emil is realizing that despite her encouragements and his continued love for her, he has never truly spent the energy required to make his love reciprocated. These things, him wanting her be his forever, him wanting to kiss her so much that he shakes, to attract her to him so that she desires him in the same way that he does her... those are the things Eva wanted him to manifest. Now, this also makes it clear that for as much time as they spent together (the book mentions that Max was out for long stretches of time, leaving Emil alone with Eva for the majority of his days there), they did not get to do any of the things he wanted so passionately AND that she had still be encouraging him to manifest this.

And does she get this message? Yes! She does, only there is The War starting and so she does not go herself to him, but she does tell him that she heard his appeal and to do it again if he should ever need her.

Now, let's talk about the ending of the book, about the kiss.

"And there is something else. Frau Eva said that if things ever went badly with you, I was to pass on a kiss from her which she gave me … Close your eyes, Sinclair." I closed my eyes in obedience. I felt the brush of a kiss on my lips on which there was a bead of blood that never seemed to diminish. Then I fell asleep.

Demian (who is made clear to be a hallucination or a purely spiritual being at this moment, regardless of what you believe his regular appearances are that of a real actual boy or a reflection of Emil's self or a mixture of the two. in this scene he is a dream-like being existing from Emil's mind here to help conclude the narrative) passes on a kiss that his mother gave to him. Eva wanted to give this kiss to Emil after all of those appeals he made for her love, and uses Demian as a vessel to give this to him.

Now I am absolutely not here to deny any sort of queerness in this moment, in the fact that it is not Eva herself who appears but rather Max. What I am trying to say is that Eva and Max are linked people, especially in the mind of Emil, and therefore it makes thematic sense for the boy who had introduced him to the world of the enlightened and to the woman he would come to love to be here in this quiet, scary moment and pass on a message from his mother. I am trying to say that denying that this kiss is even the slightest bit from Eva and 100% Max's moment is ignoring her entire character and a large, large portion of Emil's.

I could’ve gone on for longer, I skipped over the story she tells Emil of the man in love with a star and how that star eventually came to love him in return and how Frau Eva is his star. His last description of her before leaving for the war is about the myriad of stars glowing in the night sky and it is quite romantic, but I feel getting into the star symbolism in Demian would double the length of this and her feelings towards him cannot get any clearer than the part where she encourages consummating their union, which itself is still linked to the star story. This was all done taking passages I remembered off the top of my head and not a full reread of the book, but I feel like this does more than enough to explain my point.

In conclusion: never tell me again that I misunderstood the 1919 novel Demian: The Story of Emil Sinclair's Youth by Hermann Hesse because I joked about how Emil is into MILFs. He is.

#hermann hesse #demian 1919 #demian #emil sinclair #frau eva #demian (1919)

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weirdgenetic-fuckup · 4 days

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After you put in the quote about the reader and Duff being switches during the NNN fic with him, I need to see a subby Duff get rode into next week 🙏

A/n: I hope I brought justice to this prompt because I love subby men and I love Duff

Warnings: Smut, sub Duff, dom reader, dacryphilia, bondage, mommy kink, praise kink, if you think I missed something please let me know otherwise enjoy!

Duff was tied to the bed, all splayed out for you as you pumped his dick up at a painfully slow pace. His cheeks were already wet with tears that seeped into the pillow under his head. He was a whining, crying mess in your hands.

“What a sweet thing you are.” You praised, giving the head of his cock and light kiss. “All needy for me, all because of a little teasing.” You gave his tip a few kitten licks before taking it into your mouth and swirling your tongue around it.

“Please, please, just fuck me, please!” He cried, kicking slightly even though his ankles were tied. You pulled off his cock, letting go with a pop.

“Yeah? Wanna cum that bad?” Duff nodded, another whimper leaving him. “Alright, since you’ve been good I’ll give you what you want.” You moved to straddle his lap, lining your hole up with his member and slowly sinking down onto him. “Now, since you wanted this, you have to give the orders, understand?” He nodded again but didn’t say anything for a moment.

“Can-can you move? Please? Please move.” He pleaded, looking up at you with wet puppy eyes. You smiled at him and did as he asked, starting to rock your hips on him. This seemed to satisfy him but only partially. “Go faster, please, please! Go faster.” More tears started to leave his eyes which only fueled your ego.

You did as he asked and went faster. Much faster. Bouncing up and down on his cock, which made a prominent bump in your abdomen as per usual. Duff cried out for you, squirming around as much as he could with his restraints. You only laughed at him and kept going, focusing more on your pleasure than his. “No, no! Can’t-can’t take it, please! Please, mommy, be nice, please!” He begged.

“Thought you wanted this?” You asked with a small pout, a fake one of course. You stopped completely to look down at him. “Should we just get dressed and go to bed then?” Duff shook his head.

“No! No, please, need this, need this so bad!” You smiled down at him and got going again, this time a much better speed for him. It wasn’t excruciatingly slow but it wasn’t so fast it hurt. There was a sweet spot somewhere in there that had him moaning so beautifully. “Fuck~ thank you, thank you so much.” He said with a goofy grin. “Ngh- ‘m gonna- cum.” He mumbled.

You kept at that pace, letting him reach his high after all the teasing he went through to get to it. You felt his hot seed hitting your walls and you kept going to let him ride out his high... then you kept going even after.

He was whining again, words slurring together as he pleaded for you to stop and wait for him to catch his breath. “Huh? What was that?” You asked with an innocent expression. “Can’t hear you baby, you gotta speak up.” You started going faster and it didn’t take much for him to start squirming again.

You were bouncing on him and laughing at his reaction to overstimulation. “Fuck, gonna make me cum if you keep doing that.” You said, tracing a hand down his torso. You noticed his movements were getting more aggressive but didn’t think too much of it until his hand hit your ass and you realised the ropes were coming undone.

You scrambled to fix it but it was already too late and Duff was soon free to do as he pleased. Of course he was still all sensitive but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still bigger and stronger than you.

The blonde flipped you onto your back, gripping your shoulders tightly as he bit into your neck to silence the whines that wouldn’t stop leaving him. He desperately bucked into you, a thumb rubbing your clit and soon your eyes were rolling back into your head and you were cumming on him. Your back arched and your nails dug into his back as you moaned out his name.

With your cunt squeezing him as you came it wasn’t long before he was cumming again. He cried against you, the sound was so loud and whiny you wondered if he truly was ok.

When he was done he rolled off you and curled up into your side, resting his head on your chest. He took your hand and gave it a soft kiss with his bruised lips. You started playing with his hair and he soon calmed down to quiet sniffles every now and then.

“I love you, mommy.” Duff mumbled, still holding your hand to his lips. You chuckled softly and kissed the top of his head.

“I love you more, Duffy.” You whispered back. “Such a good boy, you know that?” He nodded softly. You saw his eyes were closed and he was almost asleep. “Did so good for me tonight.” You wanted to make sure he fell asleep knowing he was loved so you kept praising him and playing with his hair until you heard his soft snoring.

#guns n roses #guns n roses fanfic #guns n roses x reader #guns n roses smut #guns n roses imagine #guns n roses fluff #gnr #gnr fanfiction #duff gnr #gnr smut #gnr x reader #gnr fic #duff mckagan #duff mckagan fanfic #duff mckagan smut #duff mckagan x reader

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patheticallyinfatuatedwithu · 1 year

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Heyy can i request hanni one shot about where hanni is reader's childhood's crush but reader hasn't been in touch with hanni for soo long that they meet up back and reader confess?TYSM

not as pretty as you, pham hanni

ofc! thank u so much for requesting! hope i did ur req justice😭

it's been a day since newjeans debuted and their popularity skyrocketed through the roof with the release of attention, and they were the talk of the kpop community.

along with it came the resurfacing of school photos, friend group photos and baby photos/videos the members had, and nothing was more interesting than the one pham hanni had with you, the vietnamese's chubby cheeks pressed with yours in a hug, quoted as "hanni makes a friend in kindy!".

the fans being the nosy people they are, searched the internet for you. not only because you were the supposed bestie, but because of the cuteness you've showcased.

with one of the lives they've had, you were mentioned and hanni responds that she hasn't seen you since 5th grade, having to move states due to your parents' job, having no contact with each other since.

a sniffle escape hanni when she explained that, and now, finding you was so much more vital than before. the fans had struggled, your digital footprint was honourable, only a few baby photos and photos where you were in the background, unlike other people who uses the internet to document every thing in their life.

you were someone who didn't indulge their self in social media, only having a facebook account for family reasons where a few photos of yourself was shared through the school's website.

however, when a video circulated through twitter quoted "pretty girl plays the drums, guitar, sung and ate", the fans felt their world stop. there you were, in all your glory, seated behind the drums wearing an oversized shirt and ripped jeans, hands hard to catch as you hit every beat.

the video was an hour long, showcasing your talent for music as you played the guitar, drums and sang in different times, giving time for your teammates to have a break and catch their breath.

it was mentioned in the recent live newjeans had, and the moment hanni read the comment, she was rushing through her phone and into twitter, breath hitching in her throat as she watched the video, the same butterflies she felt in 4th grade when you pecked her cheek surfacing as you smiled when you finished a song.

her reaction was more than an answer, and the fans knew they hit the jackpot. "oh my god, it is her." she says, shuffling in her seat as her brows furrowed and intently looked at you.

you've changed a lot through the years she hasn't seen you, the bob cut you've had all grown out and tied with some strands fighting for their life to be released. you looked taller and leaner too, unlike when you were a kid.

it brought tears to her eyes that after all these years, you've been doing well and her concerns for you washed out.

you still held the passion for music stronger than before.

"y/n, you're trending."

you looked up from your guitar, stopping in the middle of tuning it to look at your bandmate who faced his phone to you. "what?"

"you were friend with a hanni ph-" your other bandmate bursted through the door, almost popping it from its hinges. "Y/N!" he rushed to your side, kneeling in front of you as he shoved his phone on your face. "YOU WERE FRIENDS WITH HANNI PHAM?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

you flinched and moved away from him, throwing his phone at him. "yeah? she was my childhood friend." and childhood crush, you wanted to say. he grabs your hand, still on his knees and looks up at you with puppy eyes. "PLEASE INTRODUCE ME OH MY GOD!"

you laugh, patting his shoulder as you release your hand from his grasp and walking back to pick up your guitar. "we haven't had contact for years. try again next life." he groans, sitting behind the drums and hitting every cymbals.

"damn it." he mumbles, but a smile on his lips nonetheless. "i can't believe i'm friends with someone who used to be friends with hanni." you perked up, "hey! i'm still friends with her... i think."

the door opened, revealing your female bandmate and bass guitarist. "y/n, you're trending." you deadpanned, plucking a string in full volume. "turn that shit down!"

the next day was more chaotic than any other, as the fandom finally found the twitter account of your band, the account immediately gaining lots of followers and attention.

and that was where you had appeared more, videos and photos garnering lots and lots of likes and retweets. you had looked at the comments earlier, fingertip hovering over the follow button of newjeans' twitter account from your personal one.

you sighed and threw your phone aside, ever since the topic of hanni was brought up, you've considered getting into contact with her, but your negative thoughts formed a wall around you.

"oh fuck it," you grabbed your phone and followed the account, screaming right after burying your face in your pillow.

arriving home that day was a chaos as well, your younger sister (who happens to be apart of the fandom) rushes to you, phone on record and gasping. "guys! this is y/n! hanni's childhood friend!"

you stare at her wearily, sighing and taking her phone off her hand and raising it high up where she couldn't reach it. you look up at the phone, your sister fighting for her life to reach it. "hi, yes, i'm hanni's childhood friend."

you said at the camera, placing it on top of the cupboard where your sister needs to take a chair and stand on top of it to reach. she kicked you as you walk away, chuckling as you make your way up the stairs and flopping on your bed.

your mum knocks and walks in a few minutes later, punching your jaw off your face and landing on the floor. "we're going to korea!"

you shot up, utter confusion plastered on your face. "what?" she smiles, ushering you to leave the bed and into the living room. "the pham's are tagging along with us, i said it'd be a great chance for you and hanni to meet again due to the circumstances."

you hum, "when are we leaving for melbourne then? assuming we're meeting them there." "tomorrow."

you thought your mother was kidding, but when she gave you that unfaltering smile of hers, you knew it was better to comply. after talking with your bandmates (who were so jealous you get to have a break off school), you packed your bags and was on the road the moment the clock ticked 3.

after 8 hours on the road, your reached melbourne and was soon at the pham's, where your younger sister and jasmine reunited with loud squeals. "you're becoming famous, y/n." mrs. pham said, a smile on her lips as you greeted her.

"she always was. used to, still is." mr. pham replied, pulling you in for a handshake. "hanni would be in cloud 9 when she sees you again." mrs. pham said, the smile on her face big as if she had won the lottery. "she's lucky to have you."

a choked laugh left your throat, her statement almost rendering you speechless. a smile on your face, nonetheless. "i'm the one lucky to have her, ma'am."

when hanni looked at her phone and saw the photo her mother had sent her, she swore her eyeballs jumped itself out of her sockets. you were seated next to mrs. pham, a mask covering the lower half of your face, a headset hanging off an ear and eyes crescent, the only thing to show her that you were smiling.

her heart stopped, and danielle, who was in the same room as her noticed the sudden atmosphere that surrounded itself on hanni. "are you alright?" she asks in english, worry plastered on her face as hanni's slack jaw tries to move. hanni looked like she had seen a ghost.

"my parent's are at the airport." she gulped, "here." danielle's visible confusion grew larger, "is that a bad thing?" hanni shook her head, "no, of course not. it's just that... y/n's with them."

a small gasp tore its way out of danielle's throat. and minji, who had just entered the room had to deal with danielle's very high pitched squeal.

mrs. pham smiled as she conversed with hanni through the phone, "hanni told me she'd be meeting us in the hotel." you looked up at the mention of her name, a tinge of red on your cheeks as you tried not to think of her too much to control your feelings or else it'll burst.

your sister snickered beside you, catching jasmine's attention as well. "try not to stare and blush at hanni when you meet her here challenge!" she squeaks, and the two laughed, and you wanted no more than to smack her.

it was quite dark when hanni had arrived at the hotel, eyes scanning for her mother who'd promised she'd be waiting at the lobby. you, who was at han river at the time, missed the whole interaction. hanni tried hard not to run out the door the moment she'd been informed of your whereabouts, trying to play it cool.

however, they knew better and let her go the moment you were mentioned, where she found you with your camera in hand, hair dancing along with the wind as you snapped another picture.

she felt the air around her dissipate, and she was left breathless. you glanced to your side, where she walked gingerly towards you, as you flashed a meek smile. "did you run here?"

it was then she noticed she's catching her breath, and blushed in embarrassment. "no, uh, i thought i'd miss you if i wasn't fast enough." "is that so?" she hummed, and leant on the rail as you walked beside her.

you let your camera hang around your neck, shuffling to take a coating of layer off and placing it around her, your warmth trapped inside. "you're shivering." she averted her gaze, tilting her head a bit to the side in case you saw how her cheeks warmed up. "thanks."

you nodded in response, "how's the idol life treating you?" she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, relieved that you still knew how to spark a conversation. "it's tiring, but getting to be with the members make it better."

"still the same hanni i've met years ago." you responded, chuckling as you shook your head. "how about you? any," she paused, wanting to smack herself for getting the gall to ask this, "love interests?"

you glanced at her, the smile on your face getting bigger as you laughed, smacking the rail a few times. "no, uh, don't have time for it." she pressed on, "how about a crush? none?"

your eyebrows knit together, "is it still considered a crush if you've liked them for years now?" hanni felt herself take a step back and shrink.

of course you wouldn't stay single for her forever. of course you'd crush on some else that's not her, after all, this is your first interaction in years. why would she expect that she'd have at least a chance for your heart?

"how- how's your crush?" you glanced at her, meeting her eyes that looked at you with such sadness. oh. "she's uh, fine. doing well." hanni raised a brow. she? oh. "assuming you are well?"

you didn't know where the sudden confidence injected through your veins came from, but you weren't complaining. you stared at hanni as she tried to place the pieces of the puzzle together. and when she did, her mouth gaped. oh.

she stammered, "wait- you're- you're talking about me right? about the crush thing. you're talking about me... right?" you looked away, and nodded. she froze.

holy shit.

"i-i'm not expecting you to return my feelings, i just thought that maybe i'd get this out of my chest because i don't- i don't know when we'd have the opportunity to meet like this again. and i'm very sorry if that made you uncomfortable, because i know i was way out of the line and-" hanni had cut you off with a peck on your lips, hugging you tightly like you'd even try to escape her grasp.

"i like you too." she mumbled, "and don't worry, you weren't out of line." you reciprocated her hug and squeezed her lightly, glancing at the way the moon shined at sprinkled it's stardust on the two of you. "the moon's beautiful, isn't it?" she asked.

you left a lingering kiss on her cheek, before replying, "not as pretty as you."

broken records send help i have a bit more reqs and im here on tumblr instead of studying for the upcoming exams💀

#kpop #kpop gg #wlw #kpop gg x reader #newjeans #newjeans x reader #new jeans x reader #new jeans #newjeans hanni #kpop x reader #kpop gg oneshots #kpop oneshots #kpop imagines #pham hanni #hanni pham #pham hanni x reader #hanni x reader

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hey-august · 2 months

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Congrats on 250!! 💜✨

If I'm doing this prompt thing right, I'd love to see Lost for Reader with #10 for the quote 🥰🥰

AAAHHhhhh, thank YOU. 🩷🩷 AND congrats to you on your 600 follower milestone!!! So so well deserved! 🎉🎉🎉

Prompts: Lost, "I’m full of surprises." Teaser: "Buggy kept an eye on you throughout the night, watching as your nerves dissolved into curiosity and bloomed into pure enjoyment." Warnings: SFW. Not an established relationship. Word count: ~1.6k

A/N: Sooo, I originally thought this was going to go a different route, but I decided to go in another direction entirely. Hope y'all enjoy!! (Making an assumption and tagging @rorywritesjunk and @ane5e, since you both liked the bottle prompt story.)

Check out my 250 Follower Prompt Event and see fulfilled prompts here.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Buggy traveled across the sparse field with a stride that matched the long beams of sunlight on the ground. The honking cries from seagulls were overwhelming - a loud and abrasive juxtaposition to the calm scenery. Nearby waves dragged along the beach, pushing and pulling small rocks and seashells with each ebb and flow. But the pirate’s real destination was the tall structure ahead.

The seagull’s calls alerted you to a visitor before you heard footsteps grinding against the rocks leading to your front door. There was a moment of hesitation before a sharp rap against wood.

Visitors were rare. Nearby residents usually left you alone. Truthfully, they avoided you. Having lived on your own from a slightly younger age than most, most people chose to overlook your premature misfortune. The most kindness you were offered was the lighthouse you resided in. The structure had been decommissioned long ago and remained uninhabited until you moved in.

Another series of knocks at the door pulled you from the overthinking that held you still. Giving into curiosity, you opened the door. A tall mass of color stood on your threshold. The stranger brought a gloved hand to his painted face and cleared his throat, before introducing himself. Multiple times. He stumbled and restarted his debut a few times, failing to pick between “captain” and “clown,” before finally settling on a singular name with a dejected sigh.

“The name’s Buggy.”

You stayed silent, taking in everything he did and didn’t say. The briney scent of the sea clung to his striped top and his long blue ponytail hung with waves that rivaled the ocean. In the middle of his painted face was a round, red nose that moved slightly when he spoke. You saw a resemblance with posters that didn’t quite do him justice. Following his genuine introduction, you shared your name.

“So, Buggy, are you lost or is there something I can help you with?”

The pirate ignored the increased beating in his chest when you said his name. Adrenaline was already coursing through his veins at the prospect of finding the right lighthouse.

“D’you recognize these?” He pulled out a few bits of paper from a pants pocket and held them out.

You did, even without touching them. To be certain, you took the items from Buggy, who seemed reluctant to let them go. Unfolding the letters, you skimmed the creased paper and relived words you wrote months and weeks ago. Words written by someone you still were, with feelings you couldn’t drown in the sea.

Buggy bounced lightly on his feet, waiting for your response. When you finally nodded, he could feel the tension in his body let loose. He breathed into the relaxation and leaned back on his heels.

“I knew it! I finally found you,” he sighed, more to himself than to you.

“It’s not like I was lost,” you muttered. Although you were still focused on the letters, you saw Buggy shrug in the edge of your vision. “Where did you get these? How do you have so many?”

“Oho, I’m full of surprises,” Buggy said boastfully. He held out a hand, wanting the letters back. He could have them.

“That’s a very unsatisfying answer, you know.” A grin cracked on your face at his responding wink.

This guy was definitely a clown. And surprisingly charming. Maybe that came with being captain.

“I’ve seen you on bounty posters. Is it true that your ship is like a circus?” A lack of visitors left you with a craving for connections and conversations, which often exploded without segues.

Buggy was bemused by your question, but glad he didn’t have to broach the subject on his own. “Why don’t you find out for yourself?” With a wave of his gloved hand, Buggy produced another slip of paper out thin air.

He handed you the prop - a hand-written admission ticket to the circus. The ship was docked nearby and there would be a show later tonight. The loops and swirling flourishes in each letter seemed familiar to you, calling to you in a voice that you wanted to listen to. You thanked Buggy for the invitation, avoiding any promises, and bid him farewell.

Once alone, you walked over to the window above the kitchen sink and pulled down a blue bottle which had a scrap of striped fabric wrapped around the neck. Spreading out the paper stored in the bottle, you compared the writing to the circus ticket you just received. Both moved with the same enticing dance of spirals and ink.

---

Evening arrived and you came with low expectations about the circus - not because you thought it would be a poor show, but because you had never seen anything similar before. Your hesitant excitement was unshackled the moment Buggy stepped into the bright spotlight and addressed the full crowd with contagious fervor.

The next few hours were full of life, color, and performances you could have only dreamed of. Acrobats waltzing, flying, and fighting overhead. Fire eaters and cyr wheels. Baton twirling and contortionists. A knife throwing battle between the ringmaster and a unicycler had you sitting on the edge of your seat, enthralled. A giant lion roaring and leaping across the ring pushed you to the back of your seat with respectful excitement.

Buggy kept an eye on you throughout the night, watching as your nerves dissolved into curiosity and bloomed into pure enjoyment. The colored lights reflected in your eyes as they followed each act. Your applause filled his chest. He could pick out your laughter in the crowded sea. Although, your cheering is the reason he nearly nicked Cabaji during their faux fight.

A lifetime passed in the few hours spent at the circus. Eventually, the lights brightened and brought reality back with them. The warm energy began to dissipate with the crowd. Feeling vulnerable without that blanket, you looked around, unsure if you were searching for a threat or something else. An inviting swatch of colors caught your attention and you made your way to the edge of the ring.

Buggy noticed you walking over and finished up the orders he was discussing with a crewmate. You mimed clapping as you got closer, to which he rolled a hand with a flashy flourish and bowed deeply. Straightening back up, the pirate flashed a large smile that matched the one beaming on your face.

“Where’d ya get this?” Buggy asked, tugging at a bit of striped fabric wrapped around your wrist.

“Mmm, I’m full of surprises,” you teased. The crafted accessory matched the bandana peeking under the captain’s hat.

“Wow, using my words against me!” He pressed a hand against his chest in faux shock.

You laughed at the dramatics, feeling an edge of remorse harden in your chest. This was fun. The evening had been nice, but tomorrow will be a different day.

“Thanks for inviting me, Buggy. I’ve never seen something like this. You really inspire your crew to put on a great show.”

Both you and Buggy blushed at the overflowing compliments. There was more you wanted to say, but you didn’t have the right words ready. Buggy, who had heard those praises before, liked how they sounded coming from you.

“Colorful and full of life, huh? You know, none of them felt like they belonged anywhere until they joined us.” The pirate tried to keep his tone lighthearted, afraid of weighing it down with his eagerness.

You nodded quietly as he told you about the crew and life on the sea, looking around as the celebration of a successful night started to bubble up. Raucous singing as trash was cleaned up, high fives while sets were taken down, hugs and slaps on the back as they packed up. It was like another show, a peek behind the curtains, and you were entranced. Buggy’s voice faded away as you watched, losing yourself in this world.

“Hey…this is for you. If you’re interested.” The pirate held out a piece of paper, another handmade admission. “We’re leaving tomorrow night. I know it’s short notice, but…” he trailed off, not sure exactly what he wanted to say. If he wanted to admit it would be nice for you to join, that he thinks this is what you’ve been looking for, how he liked meeting you, how your smile makes him feel nervous and sweaty.

“Thanks. I’ll think about it,” you said quietly, accepting the ticket to travel on his ship. Leaving your life behind is something you imagined, but daydreams are filled with different choices than reality for a reason.

Still though, you found yourself sitting at the kitchen table the next morning, staring at your reflection in a cup of tea. Maybe Buggy was right - maybe you were lost. Was this really where you were meant to be? Is this who you were meant to be? What were you searching for when you stared into the horizon?

Clinging to one thought in your head, you grabbed an empty bottle and started penning another letter. One that would be hard to write. You wrote about yourself. What made you, you. You wrote about what brought you to the lighthouse and your life by the sea. The repairs the lighthouse needed. You wrote about how the seagulls come by in the morning, looking for food. How the beach needed to be cleaned after big storms. Where to drag driftwood so it didn’t interfere with the crab holes. In the corner of the paper, you drew a little pirate ship.

Your hand shook with each line of ink and you couldn’t fight the tears that fell from your cheeks and onto the goodbye letter.

The sun had crossed the highest point in the sky by the time you were completely finished. More than once you thought you were done and moved on to other activities before being pulled back to the table with words that demanded to be written. This was the longest letter you had written and you weren’t sure the pages would actually fit in the bottle.

You decided to lay the stack of paper on the table and placed the empty bottle on top to keep them weighed down. You closed the front door without another glance back and set off to the docks, ready for a new adventure.

#buggy x reader #buggy the clown x reader #buggy the clown #buggy x you #x reader #buggy op #opla buggy #one piece buggy #buggy x gender neutral reader #gender neutral reader #hey-august 250 follower event

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bloodyquillink-blog · 5 months

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hi i’m not sure if your taking requests, but if you are can you do a logan walker x reader where the reader and logan were engaged before logan got taken by rorke, and when he gets saved he’s a completely different person and is closed off and even more quiet, but when one of rorkes members send a message to the ghosts team saying they want to take the reader now aswell, logan gets super protective and opens up to her about eveything that happened? if not totally ok!! thank you so much!!

A/N: I am and thank you for being my first tumblr request! I hope I’ve done you justice with this.

Warnings: Big angst, hurt/comfort, descriptions of injuries and torture methods (if I missed anything please let me know)

Word Count: 4.4K

To Be Changed, Logan Walker x Reader

Your marriage was so happy and perfect, even though the world wasn’t. Despite the fear of your whole wedding being destroyed before you and Logan even put on the rings and said your vows, that didn’t stop either of you. If you were going to die, you might as well die tied to one another, surrounded by the people you treasure most. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case. The wedding went without a hitch, ignoring the occasional pitches of anxiety that bubbled in everyone's stomachs. There was a beautiful mountain that overlooked a nearby beach, it felt like the clouds parted just for you two that day. The sun shone down on the white you and Logan wore. The red rose in his breast pocket, the artificial one you gave him when you went on your first date, was accentuated by the surrounding colors of blue water and green grass.

Logan was usually fairly quiet, but that day when he said his vows, he spoke more than you did. He managed to avoid stuttering, though you could feel his hands shaking. You were so proud of him and each word from his lips warmed your heart. That alone let you know that this was the right decision, the only one.

Before you cut the cake, he whispered to you, “I can’t find the words to describe how much stronger you make me feel.” You looked at him, confused and curious, before he continued. “I barely speak to my own family and brothers, maybe because I don’t need to… but you changed that. Now, I’m just droning on and on about whatever’s happening at the moment. Because of you. Hell, my mom barely heard me talk this much.” He wrapped his arms around you, cupping your hands that held the knife for the cake. “I bet she’s watching us now. She’d love you so much.” And with that, you both cut the first slice.

A quote floated through your mind, “To be loved is to be changed.” and by God, did you change Logan.

That’s what made today so painful.

That’s why you sat on the floor in front of the front door to you and Logan’s home. That’s why David held you, holding the back of your head so you didn’t see him silently crying while you sobbed. You held Logan’s mask and dogtags close to your heart. Eventually, Keegan and Merrick had come out of the car they drove here. Keegan knelt down to rub your back, attempting to comfort you as best as he could. Merrick told you more than he, as a Captain, should tell any civilian. He’d made an exception for you. Seeing as he had a job to protect his best friend's children in the most dangerous job they could all have now, you joked that Logan and David were his adopted kids.

He never denied it. Because of that, you might as well have been his adopted kid, now in-law too. And as that in-law, it was his job to tell you that Logan was, for better or worse, not dead. You looked up at him with tears still falling. He explained what happened from the beginning. A man, a horrible man, named Rorke who was a former Ghost that the Federation destroyed and turned into something repulsive. David added that it was Rorke who had dragged Logan away on that beach. That fucking beach. He explained how it was his own fault for not doing more, for not saving him despite his injuries that, even now, two weeks after, he was still healing from.

You almost slapped him. You wanted to slap Merrick too. You were heartbroken and afraid and every negative emotion you could possibly feel nearly boiled over. You sat on the couch, the men around you as they tried to help you breathe. When you calmed down enough to speak coherently, you asked a simple question:

“Will we ever see him again? Alive?”

Merrick answered, as hopeful as he could be.

“We’ll do everything we can to make sure we will.”

That’s all you could really ask for. David moved and carefully dug into his front pocket before he pulled out his hand and offered something small and shiny. It was Logan’s ring. Both of your rings were made of titanium for its durability, Logan was worried about scratching or otherwise damaging it, so he chose titanium. Strong and durable. You had told him it reminded you of his personality, how he just kept going under all circumstances. You would’ve started crying again if this alone hadn’t already exhausted you. As much as you wanted to hold all of Logan’s things to try to feel like he was with you, you handed his mask and dog tags to Hesh. You knew where the mask came from. Who originally wore it.

“I think they’d want you to hold these.” you said, quiet as ever. David knew you weren’t just talking about Logan, but their father, Elias the “Scarecrow”, as well. He grabbed the mask and tags, putting the tags on and clutching the mask like a lifeline. As everyone stood up and walked to the door, you hugged David and whispered to him, your voice still shaking.

“It’s not your fault. I know he doesn’t blame you. I don’t either.”

“Thank you,” He paused, “I’ll do everything in my power to bring him back to you.”

You hugged Merrick and Keegan before they walked back to the car.

“Be safe!” You called out. A useless but well-intentioned farewell to the soldiers. They waved back before pulling out of the driveway, leaving you alone.

That night, you took Logan’s ring and put the chain of your favorite necklace, one he had given you before your marriage, through the ring and laid it around your neck. You cried, holding his cold pillow and wearing an old hoodie you’d stolen from his closet while he was gone. Your body ached with every sob.

Three months later, you began cleaning the house before the depression that kept you in your room most of the time got too bad. It helped a little, going through every nook and cranny. You even went into the attic. Any time either of you traversed into the usually dark storage, it would end with you holding the giant vacuum, claiming you saw a spider the size of your head while Logan chuckled. After a bit, he’d go up with a flashlight only to find some critter that got stuck up there because of a hole. Once he’d patched up the hole and cleaned out as much as he could, it all felt more comfortable.

As you looked through old boxes, you found pictures. The oldest going back to when you both first met. It was a charity for veterans in your old town where Logan, David and Elias were stationed. There were games you and your friends played, competing. At one point, Elias jokingly joined in which pulled David and, naturally, Logan. As the night went on, you and Logan got closer. He barely spoke but his chuckles at your comments were enough for you.

“I was so close to winning! You gotta give me credit for that!” You argued, cheeks hurting from smiling so much. You turned to see Logan looking at you, his brow raised and smirking.

“How? You’re 25 points behind me.” He remarked.

“I would’ve won if… if I had been playing with someone other than you!”

“Like who?”

“One of my friends, probably Ash!”

“You have 10 points.” Each time the tiny basketballs went in the hoop, it was 5 points.

“Yes and I would be 10 points ahead of them which means I would win!” He practically wheezed at that as you giggled. You looked over to see David and Elias staring at the both of you, wide smiles plastered on their faces.

You kept looking through the box. Finding photos from the day you met Keegan and Merrick, then the day you visited Mrs. Walker’s grave for the first time. You stared at that picture of Logan and David sitting together in front of the stone. It was so peaceful.

You held the photo to your chest and thought of Logan. You whispered to yourself, “Please, please protect him. Keep all of them safe. I just want them to be happy… Elias and Diane, please watch over all of them.”.

Another three months later, you hadn’t heard from David, Keegan, Merrick or any other military personnel. It had been a total of eleven months since you last saw your husband. You were Logan’s emergency contact and many people aside from the Ghosts knew you, so if something happened then someone would contact you. This should be comforting. No one calling you means no one’s dead, right? Nothing bad. So why were you so anxious? You couldn’t reach anyone so maybe something did happen and-

Your phone rang. It was David. You answered immediately.

“David? What happened? Where have you been?”

“Come outside, I have to show you something.”

It’d been a long time since you ran that fast. David sat in his truck, as you ran over to the passenger side, he leaned to open the door from his seat. As soon as your door closed and you buckled in, he began driving.

“David, what’s going on?”

He inhaled through his nose, you noticed how hard he was gripping the wheel and that he was going a bit fast. He was a careful driver normally. If he was amongst civilians, he was calm and never dared going above the speed limit in case there was a child or a dog or pedestrian walking when and where they shouldn’t be. This drive, however, was different. Something happened.

“We got him.” He looked at you, your eyes wide as they slowly filled with tears. “He’s back.”

“W-when did he get back?” You stuttered.

“Almost two weeks ago-” You opened your mouth to speak but David put his hand up. You waited. “Knowing Rorke and his history, we kept Logan on base to heal some and do some mental evaluations.”

“David…”

“I need to warn you right now, he’s not gonna be the same man you knew before all this shit happened. He’s gonna have a lot of recovering to do.”

David went on to explain Rorke and what the Federation did to him. You were quiet.

“Did he do all of that to Logan?”

“We aren’t sure. We just know that whatever it was wasn’t good. He’s clear to come home today if both of you are ready, but I just needed to tell you.” Good thing the house was clean.

“Thank you, David. I know this has probably been harder on you than anyone.” David tried to laugh.

“I mean it’s my job-” You put your hand on his shoulder.

“You know what I mean. Thank you. Seriously.” He exhaled slowly, he seemed to relax a little.

“You’re welcome.”

“You can come by whenever you like if Logan comes back. Maybe just give me a warning, ok?”

“I will. I promise.”

David parked the truck after you checked in at the front gate. Your heart beat rapidly despite the slow walk through the base. You recognized some of the men and gave a half-hearted wave when they greeted you. You could already tell. They knew why you were here.

You walked into the base hospital. David took you down numerous hallways you knew there was a chance you’d see one day but never expected, never wanted to walk down. But this was for Logan. David opened the door to the room you stood in front of.

You couldn’t tell if your heart was breaking or if you were having a heart attack or what…

There he was, sitting against the bed he must’ve been in since returning, looking at you.

Logan was in a hospital gown, his arms and legs below the knee exposed. The skin was covered in jagged scars and stitches that were still such a dark and aggressive red. Along with that were numerous bruises, a painful variety of purples, yellows, and green in some spots. His right arm in a cast and sling. On his other hand, his ring and finger are wrapped, probably broken or dislocated. You notice how his left shoulder and upper arm seem to be wrapped with gauze. You don’t want to imagine what injuries he must have that you can’t see.

His face. His handsome face. He looks so tired. Logan turned towards you and tried to limp over, using the bed for stability. You rushed forward instinctually. Once he was close enough, he slowly wrapped his unbroken arm around your back. You looked at him. He had dark circles under his eyes, faded bruising on his left cheekbone, two intersected scars ran across his face. One started between his eyebrows to his cheek. The second from the middle of his chin, across his lips until it passed the other scar on that same cheek. His skin was cool and pale, unlike the warm complexion he had prior to the kidnapping.

You ended up staying for about two hours before you got a list of medications from doctors, some extra gauze wraps and a pamphlet detailing how to handle a deep second degree burn at home. That was why his shoulder and arm were wrapped. You said goodbye to David, Keegan and Merrick soon after.

The first few weeks, Logan mostly stayed in bed. Every day you checked his injuries, the stitches and the burn, to make sure there was no infection and they were healing properly. By the fourth week or so, the burn had healed, leaving behind a large patch of discolored skin. At nearly the sixth week, his cast was removed. His arm and fingers had healed well and correctly. David had told you that when Logan was taken, his arm was broken. When he was found, his arm had healed incorrectly as a result of improper care, assuming any care was given, so the doctors had to re-break it before putting it in the cast.

After the seventh week, Logan was able to walk around without limping. However, he mostly just stayed in your room. Sometimes, you’d spend the day in the living room in hopes it would coax him out. It didn’t work. You cooked his favorite meals but he would usually bring the food back to the room. When it was time for bed, you essentially snuck around the room to avoid scaring him in case he was sleeping. You were pretty sure he wasn’t sleeping, at least not as much as he should’ve been. It remained this way for a few more weeks.

A month and a half into Logan being back home and he’d uttered a scarce amount of words. “Okay”, “alright”, “yes”, “no” and whatever else kept his sentences short. He barely talked to you anymore. Of course, you kept David updated as often as possible. You felt like he just wasn’t there. Now, he was more of a ghost than ever.

Two months in and he started going to the base again. For what? You don’t know. You had asked where he was going, dressed in his “soldier getup” as you called it.

“I’m going to work. Can’t be late. I’ll be back later.” He’d stated hastily before heading out. This continued on for another two weeks until you decided to talk to him before he left.

“Logan, honey, can we talk?”

“Um… sure, but I have to leave before 9.” He was trying to rush again.

“I wanted to ask about that actually…” He looked at you, mostly expressionless. “You were just gone for almost, what, six months? Why are they having you back at work when you might as well have just finished actually healing?”

“I… There’s still work to be done.” he stuttered. You cocked your head. You turned to him from your position on the couch.

“What work?” you asked slowly and quietly. You knew he wasn’t lying. You didn’t want him to think you thought he was lying. You wanted to keep the conversation calm so he wasn’t overwhelmed.

“It’s a lot. I don’t think- right now isn’t the right time.” he began to turn.

“We can talk later if that’s better, but I just want to know. I’m worried about you.”

“You don’t need to worry, I just need to do some things.” His voice carried no emotion. He was almost at the door when you stood suddenly.

“Logan, I just want to understand!” Logan stopped in his tracks. You stared at his back. “I want to just talk, please… I know your job is important and I don’t want to get in the way with complaining…” Your voice cracked. You wrapped your arms around yourself. Logan was here, in the same house as you. You stared at him but you felt lonelier than ever. “You’re so far away, Logan… and… and I know there was so much that happened and we didn’t know if we’d ever see each other again, but we’re together now!” You walked closer to him. He heard your steps but he stayed still. “We don’t have to act like nothing happened. We couldn’t if we wanted to, I know that… but please talk to me again. I married you because I love you. I married you and everything that came with you. I said those vows and ‘in sickness and in health’ because even when you’re hurting, I’ll be there. I’m here right now! But I need you to let me be there. I need you to stop hiding yourself away from me. I want to know you again, Logan.” Your breathing had picked up as tears welled up in your eyes.

Time just stopped. You turned and sat back on the couch facing away from him. You quietly wept into your hands as everything just seemed to spill over. You had reached your boiling point. You didn’t hear the footsteps coming to you until you opened your eyes and noticed the giant boots that faced your much smaller feet. A large pair of hands slowly removed your hands from your face, one tilted your head up.

You saw Logan’s beautiful eyes, a sort of hazel that seemed gold in the light. He slowly knelt down in front of you and hugged you. Not like the barely there hug he mustered at the hospital when he couldn’t even walk on his own. He pulled you tight against him and you immediately curled around him as you sobbed. He let you. Logan pulled back after a moment and held your face. He wiped your tears with his thumbs.

“I love you too… more than anything.” He stared into your reddening, tear-filled eyes for a moment before sighing as he sat next to you. You held his hand, his thumb stroked your knuckles as he thought about his next words. “A couple days ago,” he started, “something happened. I can’t tell you what yet but it was cause for concern. Especially with Ghost team.” He paused and looked at you, directly into you. “I want to tell you everything, but it’s going to be a lot to process and it’ll probably be scary. I don’t want you to deal with this, with all the problems coming to us because of Rorke but you’re right to want to know what’s happening and you deserve to know.” You looked at the time, 8:55 A.M. You stood, Logan followed, still holding your hand. He pressed your hand against his chest and over his heart.

“I love you.” You whispered.

“I love you too. I’ll talk to Merrick today and I’ll try to get home as early as I can. We can talk about everything while we make dinner.”

“Together?”

“Together. I’ll call you if anything comes up and if you need me to, I can get groceries, ok?” You nodded. This is all you asked for. You hugged Logan tightly as he wrapped himself around you. You walked him to the door where he kissed you goodbye, on the lips. It felt like it had been forever since you’d done that. You stopped him before he moved. He almost retorted when you pulled off the necklace you still had on. He stared at the ring hanging from it. You took the ring off and put it back on his hand. He stared at it for a moment and smiled. A tired little smile that took so much weight off of you. Logan grabbed the necklace and took the time to put it back around your neck before he kissed you again.

“Thank you.” He whispered, still smiling. You smiled back as he walked to the car, waving when he began to drive. It had only been 10 minutes at most but those 10 minutes were so freeing. The rest of the morning you spent outside, reading and occasionally texting your friends when they checked in. The sun warmed your skin and the air was so fresh. You went back inside around 3 P.M when Logan called you:

Logan: “I can come back home around 6 tonight.”

You: “Sounds good, any ideas for dinner?”

Logan: “I could really go for lasagna.”

You: “Can you stop at the store on your way back? I have a list!”

Logan: “Yeah, just send it to me.”

With that, you texted everything you needed before moving to clean up the kitchen and free up space.

Later that night, Logan returned with everything you asked for plus a tub of ice cream. Your favorite flavor. You got to cooking, boiling the sheets and preparing the sauce while the oven preheated. You cooked together, like old times. It had been so long. Music quietly played as you both took turns tasting everything. A little extra salt and paprika here, with some pepper too. You laid down the floppy lasagna sheets while Logan poured the sauce over top then you both spread your favorite cheeses before adding more sheets and so on. While the lasagna was in the oven, you sat on the couch together. Logan held you in his arms as you stroked the hair on the back of his neck. After savoring the peace of the moment, Logan started talking.

When he was kidnapped, Rorke had put him through the same trials he himself had experienced. Being force fed poisoned food was the start until Rorke seemed to grow bored and eventually forced him to eat the plants the poison had been extracted from. Logan told you everything. All the grim details. At some points, you actually felt nauseous just hearing the horrors. When he was almost done talking about what he was forced to endure, you just held him and continued to encourage him to talk. He held you tight as he explained. The beatings he was put through. The way his arm healed wrong and he could hardly use it without feeling pain.

Then he looked at you. You felt so fragile with the way he looked at you with his tired eyes. He spoke again.

“Rorke knows about you.”

You never met this man in your life, never saw pictures. But he was like a boogeyman. He could appear from under your bed at any moment.

“His soldiers… left us a message… Threatening to take me again. They said this time they’d take you too.”

That’s why he was going back to base. To work with his brother and everyone to make sure nothing happened. You didn’t live far from the base but they were thinking about bringing you on post to be cautious. That’s why Logan went back to work so soon. To protect you. That’s why he was telling you all of this now, to further protect you.

You were scared. Hearing about something like this happening was one thing, but knowing the man who stole your husband and almost broke him from the inside out was completely different. Especially when you knew that he wanted you too. Oh god. Logan held you and told you that the two of you could always move on base where you’d be protected and closer to him. You’d be amongst him and the other soldiers and Riley, Hesh’s dog. They wouldn’t let anything happen. And so you agreed. That night you just focused on being together, holding one another and eating your delicious lasagna as you reminisced together.

Over the course of the next week, you brought as many of your necessities over to base where you and Logan continued living together. You met some friends of his and their partners, gaining your own group of friends not long after moving. Some had even assisted in bringing more of your things over when Logan had to work.

Later down the line, the Ghost team flew out. You weren’t told anything about what the mission entailed, but when Logan came to you, mask on, and put his ring in your hand before kissing you goodbye, you had an idea.

“I will make sure no one, not a single person touches you. Not a single damn person. I will keep it that way. I promise.” He whispered, voice more stern than ever.

Your friends on base were all a wonderful support system during the next week they were gone for. You weren’t able to reach out again but you believed in them. You took care of Riley, who’d grown to love you.

When the week was done, they came back and Logan had made a beeline for you. You were reading, his ring back on your necklace when the door opened and your husband walked in, covered in dirt and other unidentifiable muck and alive. You rushed to jump into his arms and kiss him, ignoring the weird taste of said dirt in your mouth. You gave his ring back, ignoring the dirt that was on his hands too. While you held him, he whispered in your ear, “It’s all over now. We can go home.”.

So you did. David, Keegan and Merrick were kind enough to assist with moving your things back over and checking your house for anything that wasn’t meant to be there, anything that indicated a break in. Shit, they’d even checked the vents too. When that was all done, you made lasagna for them and spent the evening laughing together and savoring the peace that had finally come over the world again. Later, you and Logan laid in bed together, happy as ever and whispered sweet words to each other. Both of you could finally get some rest.

The end, thank you for reading! I will also post this on my ao3 @ RiversSong82

#cod ghosts #cod ghosts fanfiction #cod fanfiction #cod fanfic #logan walker #cod logan walker #logan walker x reader #logan walker x m!reader #logan walker x f!reader #logan walker x gn!reader #quill writes

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disasterarea-podcast · 5 months

Text

Okay, I know I probably don’t need to explain this to all of you, but also I want to talk to *somebody* about how I wish I had the sort of pull that would let me see “Society of the Snow” before it ends up on @netflix on January 4th.

“Alive” came out when I was in high school. I was a sophomore, I think? I just know I watched it a bunch for historical reasons (disaster! Survival! Struggle!) and superficial reasons (I was sixteen and Ethan Hawke was in danger!). It was on HBO a lot back then. Or it felt that way, because I watched it every time it came on.

As per usual, I watched the movie, so I went and got the book. (I have an Audible credit, so I’m preordering the audiobook of “Society of the Snow” for work. It comes out in a couple of days, FYI.) The movie is … sanitized, to say the least. They can’t avoid the eating of the dead, or showing it on occasion. But in real life, the situation was more blatant, because … well, who are you going to hide it from? They ate everything else, or at least tried to, before resorting to the dead. And then when they did resort to the dead, they ate it ALL.

The thing is, Uruguayan culture was heavy on beef. “Alive” (the book) describes it the way the Irish depended on potatoes. Eating the dead was difficult, but as Catholics they were able to talk it out and tie it into the rosary and taking the body and blood of Christ into their own. I’m not even a Catholic anymore, but I think even my latent Catholic training might kick in just a tad to help reassure me in a situation like that if I had doubts. (Note: I have been doing this podcast for WAY too long. Survival cannibalism wouldn’t even make me bat an eye at this point.)

My point is that in the real situation, the survivors used everything. And I mean everything. There were only three or four parts of the body they couldn’t eat - I think the genitals were on that list, but don’t quote me on it - but the rest? They picked the bodies clean. They needed to. There’s a photo of the survivors sitting outside the plane, hanging out, smiling for the camera. It’s usually edited. Everything else is kept, but what is usually clipped or blurred is a very clear shot of a human spine, not a spot of meat left on it, just … lying there. It might as well be an airplane seat, or a discarded jacket, or any of the other items scattered about.

I have a tremendous amount of respect for every single one of the people who went through that ordeal. The details are traumatizing enough without having lived through it. Every time somebody makes a “rugby players eat their dead” joke, I cringe.

So here I am sitting watching “Alive” again, because fuck it. The thing is, I have a fondness for this movie based a lot on high school and watching it lots and it introducing me to a survival story I’d never heard of. But I would always be the first to point out I’d love a redo. It’s not as accurate as it could be, it’s in English, it misses out on things like Carlitos Paez’s father searching for him and the others the whole damn time and the reception after they came back.

I’m hoping “Society of the Snow” has all of the things the first movie lacked. I want to see the reception when they came back. I can’t wait to see Carlitos playing his dad, and I hope we get that moment where he reads the list of survivors over the radio and his voice breaks when he gets to his son’s name. I hope we get the reality of survival cannibalism — that it’s not murder, that it’s not pretty, that you might get a little blinded to the horror of the reality.

The trailers for “Society of the Snow” gives me hope it does the story the justice it deserves. There are so many disaster stories that, while they may have gotten TV movies, I would love to see done for the big screen. Hillsborough. The Triangle Shirtwaist factory fire. The Galveston Hurricane. The Johnstown flood. But honestly, the trailers for “Society of the Snow” look gorgeous and respectful. Let’s do more movies like this for more disasters.

#tw cannibalism #tw survival cannibalism #society of the snow #if Netflix needs someone to come up with ideas for movies about real-life disasters I am THERE

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thesirencult · 1 year

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Pick A Card Reading : Soulmate/Forever Person/Future Spouse

(Flowers Of Romance Part 1)

Hello beautiful readers,

I decided to start a series of tarot readings that will be based on literature and specifically romance novels, poetry and letters.

Obviously this is copyrighted and if a fellow reader uses the same type of format or reposts my writing I would appreciate it if they tagged and credited me. Karma works both ways and copying someone else's work to gain a few likes and followers has its downside. I'll create a masterpost in a few days so you will be able to find all my readings into one place.

The series kicks of with quotes from "Letters To Milena" by Franz Kafka. A beautiful book that is a perfect read for the fall and winter season.

Novels keep great loves alive in their pages and even if the lovers ascend together to another level of consciousness their loving energy will forever be with us.

If you want a personal reading you can book one through direct messaging. I offer tarot readings and astrology ones (both birth charts and synastry). ONLY 15 SPOTS ARE AVAILABLE FOR TAROT AND 5 FOR ASTROLOGY ! THANK YOU GUYS 💖💖 Enjoy your reading ! It's for entertainment purposes and it's a general one, so feel free to apply everything to your own situation. Don't be shy ! Comment which pile/piles you chose 💞

Pile 1

Death, 10 Of Wands, 8 of wands

My dear,

Your soft voice echoes in the tunnels of my despair, disrupting the silence of loneliness and waking me up from the deathly sleep of emptiness. You are the light that woke me up from the slumber my love. I had lost all hope, letting go of myself into the abyss. I thought that no one would show up for me. That I was created here in this world as a mistake, without a twin soul. You're mine my beloved.

It's time to let me take the burdens off of your shoulders. I would do it all for you baby. I'll be your lover, your father, your brother, your friend. Everything for you. Will you accept me, a man beaten and bruised by fate, that you brought back to life ?

You broke the chains that held me back. When I say that I will do something I mean it. I can not wait to be with you. I'm insatiable.

Pile 2

The Magician, Knight of Cups

Babe,

Have you been good ? Because I'm extra naughty my love !

I know that I can be too aggressive and forward sometimes. My ego gets the best of me and that causes problems in our relationship. I feel it in my soul that I manifested you, like I did with everything in my life. I can be possessive and arrogant, but I swear I'll work on it for our sake.

I know I'm immature, but it's because I can not contain myself around you. You make me feel young again, like a small child in need of his favourite candy. I'm trying to romance you with flowers and chocolate and everything your heart desires but you're playing hard to get. I'll get you, I know I'll do baby. When time comes you'll be mine. I don't back down easily...

Pile 3

The Empress, The Moon, Justice

My Goddess,

Someone would think that you were made from fairy dust. Built by God as the epitome of woman. You're very feminine, kind, sensitive and watery. Your creative powers are immense and you can manifest everything your heart desires. Whatever your hands touch, turns to gold. You make me feel like a Good, because you're a Goddess. I'll worship you as a one, my sacred love.

You're like the moon. Always changeable and fertile with ideas. You have your moments,good and bad, but I still love you and adore you through everything. Your intuition is always on point. Wise yet fresh and innocent. You awoke primal instincts within me. We can not escape time my Goddess. We are bound by it. But I'm beginning to wonder, why does time seem to slow down whenever you caress me and when you let my lips touch yours, the lips of a goddess.

Sometimes I wonder if I deserve you. Do I deserve the love of a Goddess ? Always and forever yours. Yours. Yours and only yours...

Pile 4

Ace Of Swords, 2 Of Wands, Queen Of Wands

Dear Soulmate,

When I saw you, it was the first time I saw clearly. My eyes opened to your beauty and love. The blindfold was lifted and now I see. I see the clear light blue colour of the skies and hear the birds sing. You opened up my eyes to new horizons and unknown magical lands.

I finally made the choice to leap into your fountain of love. I made the choice to anchor my heart into the bottom of your deep wild oceans. I long to live with you by the sea, to honour your beautiful and gentle soul. Because, for all the sights I've seen and all the journeys I've taken around the world, our journey and you, my partner, I'll never grow tired of.

You're warm and vibrant like the sun. You keep my heart warm in the cold winters. You keep me alive my love.

Yet I feel that if I dared to fly too close to you I would get burned. The problem is that I'll be honoured to die by your scorching love.

Pile 5

The Star, Ace Of Pentacles , The Hermit

My little star,

You're so enchanting, like you came out of a fairytale. Your smile, your lips, your hair, your beautiful elegant fingers. I love kissing your petite knuckles and nuzzle my face on top of your head. You're so talented and beautiful. My lucky star. I admire you a lot. I love your magical aura.

I want to offer you the world and even though it seems like I'm promising a lot, I mean it. From the first moment I saw you I tried to hold back my feelings, to calm down and take things slowly so we could build a strong foundation.

You're a mirage. I dream of you and I have visions of those beautiful eyes. My beloved little star, you shine so bright in the darkness of the world. You're so unique.

I know that we have to take some time apart to grow separately. Don't feel lonely, I'm right here looking at the night sky, wishing and dreaming for a love like yours. I'll wrap you up in a blanket made from stardust.

Remember, every single time you look up at the sky, either at the moon and the stars or at the bright sun, I'll be there, under the same sky looking up as you do.

#pac reading #pick a card #pick a pile #tarot #tarot reading #future spouse #pick a photo #pick a picture #soulmate #astrology #twinflame #manifesting #loassumption #franz kafka #letters to milena #literature #specific person #future love

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ellaenchanting · 5 months

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Hypnovember 2023 Master Post.

This year was my 5th Hypnovember! To be honest, it felt particularly hard-fought since I had a lot of life stuff happening in the background this month. (Nothing traumatic, don't worry.) Still, I managed to write about 10,803 words, record almost 50 minutes of audio, and pay tribute to a lovely friend. I'm likely not doing daily prompts next year but I'm glad I ran this marathon one more time. 5 years is a respectable amount of time to do anything so- I'm proud of myself.

Everything I wrote/created is below! Use these icons to find what looks interesting to you:

Icons- 📰- story 🔊- audio ✅-recommendation list ⭐-Ella's favorites 😍- romantic 🌈- queer 😴- regular ole’ hypnosis 🛀- brainwashing and/or hypnotist in a tub 👻- spooky ❓- bad or reeeally questionable consent 👨‍🔬 -science! 🤪 -crackfic #-#sceneideas 😭-feeeels 🦄 -mythological creatures 🔥 -explicitly sexy 🔁 switchy switches 😵‍ -intelligence play 🫥-amnesia 🏴‍☠️- Our Flag Means Death fanfic ☕- comfort 🤏-tiny fic 💌-poem 🚫- denial or teasing 🪞-autobiographical or contains autobiographical elements 🧲 old timey mesmerism

Day 1: Dazed 🔊⭐😴

File description: One Take Wonder induction designed to remind you that going into trance isn't difficult at all.

It's OK.

Just drift.

Day 2: Brain Drain M/m(/m) 📰 😴 🌈😍 🔁🏴‍☠️☕

Choice quote: "Izzy grinned too, feeling oddly proud to be trusted with this quiet moment. He and Ed had never been conventional. Maybe it was OK that Ed and Stede weren't either."

Day 3: Coils (Author/you) 📰 😴 🤏☕

Choice quote: "When I say 'my words coil around you', it IMPLIES control but what it really gives is permission. "

Day 4: Denial 🔊😴🔥🚫

File description: "Denial. That's it. That's all the description you get."

Fun fact: Unless you want spoilers- then head over here

Day 5: Maid (The author/you) 📰 🤏🛀

Choice Quote: "What if you could clean your home and clean your mind at the same time? "

Day 6: Soul Contract (Being/supplicant) 📰 🤏🦄🤪

Choice quote: "So- you say you'll give me your free will?"

Fun fact: This is secretly Good Omens fanfic about Aziraphale (with the serial numbers filed off).

Day 7: Repetition is Hypnotic 🔊👨‍🔬

File description: "Repetition is Hypnotic- what it says on the tin"

Day 8: Addicted (M/f) 📰 ⭐❓😭🛀🪞

Choice quote: "It felt like being owned. It felt like love. Then just as surely as the flood started- it stopped."

Fun fact: This was NOT a fun story to write, partially because it dug up some of my and my friends' worst experiences. I'm glad it's been helpful for some people who have been in some really bad situations, though- I'm hope I did you all justice. You (and we all) deserve so much more than this.

Day 9: Erased (?/f) 💌🛀

Choice quote: "That had all been/Erased"

Day 10: Confidence (F/f) 📰😴🌈🫥❓😍🤪🧲

Choice quote: "'No,' interrupted the young mesmerist. 'I mean- I know this is quite unusual but- I find myself quite fond of you, Harriet.'

Day 11: Attitude Adjustment/IQ Reduced (M/f) 📰⭐😴😍😵‍#🔥

Choice quote: "'That's good, honey,' he encouraged. 'You don't need to think right now. I've got all your bigger thoughts for safekeeping.'"

Day 12: Hyperfocus (The author/you) 📰😴🤏👨‍🔬

Choice quote: "I know you can focus, but can you HYPERfocus?"

Day 13: Smile (Being/f) 📰🤏👻🦄

Choice quote: "It made her smile."

Day 14: Impossibly Deep (Person/person) 📰🤏❓🛀🫥#

Choice quote: "'Not possible to be this deep, isn't that right?'

'Mmmm not possible. Too deep.'"

Day 15: Shatter 🔊👨‍🔬🛀

File description: Just a quick loopable file with a nice "shatter" mantra

Day 16: Sex Obsessed ✅🌈

Fun fact: Recommendation list of my favorite content from my friend @sex-obsessed-lesbian

Day 17: Corrupted (M/f) 📰⭐🤏❓🔥#

Choice quote: "'I can give you what you want," he said, silkily. "All the submission. All the pleasure. Everything you've been dreaming of...All you need to give me in return,' he continued, 'is your 'no'".

Day 18: Pet 🔊☕😴

File description: I'm a bit sick so- did some nice self hypnosis around the idea of being pet.

Day 19: Elevator (F/f) 📰😴🔁#

Choice quote: "Have you ever ridden the Tower of Terror at Disney World?" Ivy asked.

Day 20: Transformation 🪞⭐

Choice quote: "She didn't know that something could be both campy playacting and extremely real at the same time-the feelings, the bonding, the lingering effects-all of it."

Day 21: Forget 🔊🤪🫥👨‍🔬

File description: "Similar to the style of Samsung's website that helps you forget TV series you've watched, this file is designed to help you forget all of my Hypnovember content for this year- so you can experience it again for the first time!"

Day 22: Hypnotic Hands (F/f) 📰😴#🌈

Choice quote: "But mistress could make anything hypnotic. And today she had made HER hands hypnotic too."

Day 23: ...And Back Down 💌😴😭

Choice quote: "...And back down"

Day 24: Ready to Play (F/m) 📰😴#🪞🛀🚫

Choice quote: "The slight curve of her lip indicated she had something in mind but- had it started?"

Day 25: At Peace (Being/f) 📰🤏👻🦄

Choice quote: "It was useless to fight against it- although in the beginning she had tried."

Day 26: Shadows (F/f) 📰🌈🚫🛀

Choice quote: "Those shadows of her former self were still there- they helped make her who she was now. Who she was now, though, was happy."

Day 27: Shiny (F/m)📰🤏#😴🛀

Choice quote: "The leather boots weren't 'shiny, shiny' like in the song, but it didn't matter. "

Day 28: Workout (F/f) 📰⭐🛀🚫🔥🌈#

Choice quote: "'I'm going to challenge you a bit today, ok?' she says. 'Are you ready for that?'"

Day 29: Wholesome (The author/you) 📰⭐😂😴☕🪞

Choice quote: "It means something to us, and thus it has meaning"

Day 30: You Win (F/nb)📰😂😍😴☕

Choice quote: "'Hmph,' they responded, grumpily. 'I know what you're doing.'"

I'm entirely a hobbyist content creator and work primarily for feedback and belly rubs. :) (I do take tips on Ko-fi though if you're feeling generous!) If you liked anything I made this month, I'd be really really delighted to hear about it. Hell, I'm delighted to hear constructive criticism as well- anything to know this isn't all going to into a void somewhere. Reblogs are also very much appreciated.

That being said- here are a few people in particular I want to thank for your encouragement, your inspiration, your cheerleading, or just generally for helping get me through the month- @thekinkycocktailclub @mentat101posts @jam-and-stuff @linnybeenaughty @sex-obsessed-lesbian @theleeallure @tennfan2 @spiralturquoise @daja-the-hypnokitten @misscammiedawn @royb8772 @hypno-potion @hypno-sandwich @wellgnawed @redriotwest @egur19 @mozart32 @mys-oleander @sleepwithgiggli @telephonetrance @dommestic @subbypuppy (I know I'm leaving a bunch of people off so- I apologize if I am and know I still appreciate you a lot.)

Extra special shoutout to @emptyofbrains2 who has not only given me lots of great feedback but has also written a lot of her own great stuff this past month. Check out her Tumblr if you haven't already!

Stay tuned to this space for- whatever it is the future holds. :) I'm excited- I hope you are too.

Thanks y'all :)

#hypnovember #hypnovember 2023 #master post #dark sapphic magic #my writings #my audios

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