#how the hell do i know

[voicestm]

Fuck it. Tried of holding myself back.

I'm gonna tell the gravedigger that he better dig two Zombies. Fucking zombies. No way this could be real. It's a bad dream. A mindfuck. Yet. He's called to action. He can't refuse. He should have. He should have retired on the spot, went to live out the rest of his days, as short as they were, in a hole in the ground. Anything was better than the hell that awaited him on one dark night. A figure stumbling out of the shadows, a mask cracked but still fitted over his face, a familiar tone grumbling out in speech so slurred and pained.. But for a blissful few seconds he swears he hears his name. Wishful thinking. There's nothing left inside that body that housed his lover's heart and soul. He's ready to.. Gun aimed, barrel trained on that beloved mask.. But he can't pull the trigger and he'd be damn if he lost him again. That hole was calling him like a fever dream. His days were now numbered. But he'd spend his last minute with the hollow shell of the man he loved. You might as well, read me my last rights

#- { John Mactavish } - #- { Connections - Simon Riley } - #- { Verses - Zombie Call; AU } - #- { Headcanons - John Mactavish } - #is this a headcanon #is this a drabble #is this a starter #how the hell do i know #lt ghxst #Fixing this cause no #you ain’t stealing I’m just silly

[proxycrit]

(I point. Gently, in the voice of somebody who’s mind touched by the outer gods, i whisper truth in your ears:

Your honor the horses are now lesbians

(Anyways here’s the designs)

#mlp #based off my mlp redesigns (no i will not be taking criticism) #mlp redesign #fluttershy is now a giant jacked carnivorous shire horse with anxiety #rarity is a trans queen and she’s carrying the plot on her back #applejack’s been bequeethed the oldest child syndrome after the traumatic death of her parents and learned to do taxes at the tender age of #13?? how do horses age #and rainbow dash is both loved and reviled by her pegasi foundry because she has ‘too much gryphon in her’ #(but she FAST AS FUC BOI.) #anyways pinky’s my favorite. we don’t know whats up with pinky but she smiles a lot and the world distorts around her at exactly 1014 am. #twilight is celestia’s favored pupil prophet and is trying her best to figure out what the hell is up with pinkie and failing spectacularly #twilight also hatched a dragon from an inert stone and people have opinions about that #mostly ‘what are you feeding her’ #(holds rarity and applejack) i think they’re neat together #they bond over growing up too quickly and have a vi-caitlynn thing goin on #(squints) didnt draw the cute mark crusaders but they’d be like. the batmen of the town. and it was fun and games until twilight heard #and gave them ACTUAL weapons #rarity #applejack #rainbow dash #twilight sparkle #fluttershy #pinkie pie #spike the dragon #I FORGOT SPIKE #spike’s a stone dragon that hatched from a stone egg. he is not meant to exist. he’s an elderitch horror and a baby boy and we love #and cherish his adorable little face #art #critdraws #Rest your Weary Hooves in our New Found Home

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him. #bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?'' #'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

[caramelldansenu]

*kills it* *kills it again* *kills it again* *kills it again* *kills it aga

[text]

Lamb: This is the new mascot, Narinder. Make sure to feed it 4 times a day it just escaped an eternal prison

Follower: Yes, of course great leader!

Lamb: And if it dissents, just give it snacks and a pat. It'll calm down

Follower: Oooh! So like a pet cat?

Lamb: Exactly.

Narinder: INSOLENT LAMB. I AM STILL HERE.

#art #fanart #drawing #cotl #cult of the lamb #cotl narinder #dont ask why pet cats exist and follower cats exist at the same time just accept jt #my glasses broke after while i was in the middle of drawing this i taped my glasses together just to finish it 🙃 #it hurt my nose like hell #the things i do for art #not ship art #narinder is like the lambs pet cat #u know how u treat ur cat thats exactly how the lamb treats narinder #because the lamb is just an extension of me in this

[lazycranberrydoodles]

getting back into the untamed and i had a thought. / follow for more yllz babygirlism

#i saw someone a while ago talking about how wwx always has good intentions…. #his personal road to hell was paved with good intentions yes but i’m not sure where making a guy eat his own legs fits #it is so funny to me how the tiger tally/yin iron influences wei wuxian differently in each adaptation #i remember making a sliding scale of how ‘culpable’ wwx is from adaptation to adaptation #based on how they portray the mental effects of the iron #but for the life of me i cannot find it :( #wwx really said ‘if i had a cursed amulet i simply wouldnt be corrupted🙄🙄’ #that’s basically what he tells lan zhan in this episode…. if necromancy was having ill effects i would notice #and you know. at this point he is lying about everything. but i do wonder how much he actually believes that 👁️👁️ #how much of his mind is resigned to doing whatever needs to be done to exact revenge regardless of harm to himself #and how much genuinely believes that he’s smart and competent enough to make it through whole #the answer of course is BOTH!! bisexual pride #mdzs #art #mdzs spoilers #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian #mo dao zu shi #grandmaster of demonic arts #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #my art #the grandmaster of diabolism #cql #the untamed #魔道祖师 #陈情令 #mdzs meme #doodle #lmao

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

No time to play. You are being sent away.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #yu ziyuan #jiang yanli #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #Do you know how hard it was to *not* do a 'Sold To One Direction' spoof comic? It took nearly all my will power. #Mostly because it misaligns a little too far off from the canon events and vibes. #But sit with me for a moment. Consider it: #“BEEP BEEP BEEP. I threw my pillow at my alarm clock. ”Wei Wuxian get your lazy ass downstairs!“ Yu Ziyuan yelled. #I ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror to see my grey orbs staring back at me. #I put my long straight black hair in a ponytail with a red ribbon. #I went downstairs to see my adoptive mother holding a bottle of vodka and a cigarette. #'Listen up whore! I need money to pay the bills so I sold you. Your new owners will be here any minute so go pack!' #I stormed upstairs. There was no way I was going to let her sell me to a creepy old man! #I decided to run away. Since I'm not like other girls I don't have very many friends. #My gay friend Lan Zhan was mean but he lived like a block away. #As I opened the door I saw Wen Chao blocking the door. 'Ello Love. We're your new owners!' #I rolled my eyes and pushed him. 'Aren't you from that stupid Wen Sect? There's no way in hell I'm going with you!' #Hey again. It's me the OP of this blog taking a pause. I haven't actually read this story before aside from the memes #and I am honestly reeling from how this watpad fic chapter ends. What do you mean one of the one direction boys chloroforms her??? #Chapter 2 is so much worse #Why is there such a strong focus on the *eyes* of every boy!!! #This fanfic is a horror story actually. I came into it trying to make a funny parody but I got in over my head. Dear God. #It's me again. Several minutes have passed and I'm on chapter 4. What the FUCK is going on here? #I feel like I opened up pandora's box hoping for a fun little treat and got the plauge upon me. Dont read this fic.

[ruporas]

in a mood (ID in alt)

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #doing straight up nothing with the bestie. really good activity of doing nothing #i mainly drew this just so i can test how itd be not drawing their faces bc i Love drawing their faces a little too much. #maybe ill throw them in a more intense situation next time i try it bc it just ended up focusing on wolfwood and his silly newspaper #he's reading the news... cruel happenings all around no mans land... have to keep up to know where to go next and where to avoid #but theres also some guy in the same room being distracting as hell. i think they can coexist without bothering each other but theyd #be so painfully aware of the other person... both of them usually have tended to their own space after all for years. ww especially i think #would be easily distracted with vash's presence bc he's spent 2 years thinking about him already (for his mission...) #and thinking about vash is a Little easier than dealing with his personal anguish #though it can definitely overlap too. and sometimes its not that bad. sometimes its just vash's hand feeling unexpectedly nice and gentle #ruporas art

[lilybug-02]

Wow. That could not have turned out worse.

Part 23 || First || Previous || Next

--Full Series--

This comic will be on Holiday Hiatus this December and January! While on a cliffhanger? What a scam! >:/

#Chara finally realizes something is wrong....very wrong #And you get to see little Chara for all of 2 drawings. wow. You guys are so spoiled uwu #Asriel and Chara bbfs #finally out of that darn tootin' Darkworld! WE'VE BEEN THERE FOR 2 YEARS!!! #LORE TIME LORE TIME. I know Chara is very vague about it but player-human relationships are very personal. #it can be hard to talk about them if you've been possessed yourself. especially with some stigmas around it #chara just wanted a glass of water. why you gotta do this to em #I am so so so happy to get here #the full excitement has faded since I first thought up this scene but It's still one hell of an accomplishment #YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA how many times I reworked this and how many rough drafts I've thrown out the window because of it. #tbh. I may post the 10+ rough pages that will never see the light of day #Im glad I didnt go through with that scrapped plot bc It was too many unneeded pages. I've learned to start condensing in a better way #I am also planning on showing off my Patreon soon :) so I'll be posting complete scrapped story lines over there #deltarune chara timeline #deltarune #utdr #deltarune chara timeline comic #art #my art #bread #chara #asriel #saloon darkworld #darkworld #deltarune au #college chara #college asriel

[somerandomdudelmao]

I hadn't planned on doing anything more complicated than a sketch, but here we are…

#Okay you know wHAt #their size difference kills me #Do you remember how Raphael could hold Splinter in one hand? #same vibe here #And Leo?? #And Leo grew a hell of a lot bigger in the future #My brain does somersaults when I try to imagine his height compared to a human baby #rise of the tmnt #riseofthetmnt #leonardo #future leonardo #mutant ninja midlife crisis #and #odd man out #of course #These two fics feed me so I can feed the tumblr

[breakbeatbun]

#10k notes #ok. clearly y'all don't know what 'reblog the other version' means it does not mean 'screenshot/copy these tags' smfh #also some of you people are pure toxic about something as innocent as learning how a different website works #'omg that's so cringe' 'ew i can't belive new users are doing this' i can. grow up. #i made this post as a fun little joke and i regret it now bc where y'all aren't annoying as hell you're needlessly cruel

[shipwreckie]

long (like ridiculously long) rant about watcher entertainment

Whilst the vast majority of the response to the watcher drama has been negative I still have seen a few people expressing opinions along the lines of ‘oh its just $6’  ‘shouldn't creators be paid for their work’ etc. I also think this situation is getting a lot of attention from people who don't necessarily watch Watcher, or haven’t keep up with them in years so here is my breakdown of why people are unhappy with the announcement that Watcher will be putting ALL upcoming content behind a $6 a month streaming service (with the exception of the premiere episode of each season going to Youtube.) 

The issue is not that it's $6.

The success of other internet companies like dropout and smosh is proof people are willing to pay for content they enjoy and to support independent content creators. I personally have given money to kickstarters, patreons, digital downloads etc in the past. But I do that because I know I’m valued as a fan with and without my money. I still get access to content on youtube for free. Even Dropout, who is a much larger and more expensive operation than Watcher, releasing 5 show a week, still maintains a steady Youtube presence.

The thing with these internet companies is they can be successful in creating something but they do have to understand that you are on the internet. You're not netflix or HBO or hulu or whatever. Watcher’s obsession with creating ‘television-calibre content’ worth $6 a month whilst also only having one show a week is unrealistic. They want to be independent creators but also television producers… but you’re not!  They hate being youtubers so much but YOU ARE. That’s how you gained a fanbase in the first place and you were successful at it! If you’re not happy being a youtuber that’s fine, move on and do something else. But you can’t expect it to be funded by the fans. So many famous artists create content they care less about that has a larger audience, and that in turn funds the stuff they DO care about. If you’re so dedicated to making expensive, high-quality productions you should be using these smaller cheaper shows to save money and fund them, rather than forcing everyone of your fans to pay a monthly subscription fee that I’m sorry, just isnt worth it or is simply unaffordable for the majority of your audience who you have now essentially told aren’t welcome or valued by you. And which one is it? 

Such a large percentage of your audience are casual viewers too. Why cut out that completely? What fans are you expecting to follow you to this ? Your most dedicated fans are there because they like Ryan and Shane, so why not push that? Are you trying to appeal to your fans or are you trying to make the content you want. There’s no clear creative direction that makes sense with this move and that’s why people aren’t supporting you. 

Also I’m sorry but how can we suddenly trust the content is gonna improve once we start funding it when there’s already been so many missteps both in their content and their business. Look at how many fans have said Ghost Files and Mystery Files have started feeling phoned in. Their patreon has been mismanaged for years, they barely promote it and the perks on there aren't really worth it (but they have 6000 paying members because people can and do want to support them!). They go months having barely any merch. There are ways to make money on youtube, they’re just not doing it well . 

And I’m sorry. But there is just absolutely no reason to have 25 employees. Shows like Survival mode should be cheap and easy to produce, and help bring in money to support larger ventures like ghost files. So why are there 18 people credited for a video of you playing Minecraft? And of course I don’t want people to lose their jobs. But continuing with this is going to cause EVERYONE to lose their jobs regardless. 

They also barely have a plan for their new content. People watch for Ryan and Shane, you KNOW THAT. So why is your first new big show hiring the worth it boys and doing a globe-trotting, crazily expensive show. Are you even really expanding your content if you’re still sticking to a one-video-a-week schedule with no present plan to change that? They have a survey for subscribers to vote which past show to bring back, but there’s obviously a major budget difference between filming something like Weird Wonderful World and something like SD&D&D… or at least there should be but there isn't when you employ 20 people to make one video. There’s such a clear lack of thought put into it that makes me even less likely to want to support. 

I want to say that they probably expected a negative backlash and thought they could just wait it out… but did they? Because WHY did they hype this up like it was an insane new announcement fans would go wild for. WHY do this several days before you have live shows where you let fans ask questions live to your faces? So much of this roll out makes absolutely no sense and makes Ryan, Shane, and Steve look so ridiculously out-of-touch with their fanbase, which only makes fans feel even less supportive. 

I think their defenders think we want to see Watcher crash and burn but the majority of us don't. I want them to be successful but this isn't the way to do it and I truly do believe it’s going to ruin their company. Unfortunately as much as I love them, I wont be supporting them. 

#watcher #watcher entertainment #ryan bergara #shane madej #steven lim #buzzfeed unsolved #ghost files #mystery files #seriously though... what the hell #i dont even use tumblr anymore but i just had to get my thoughts out #sorry i don’t know how to do the read more function i haven’t properly used tumblr since 2016

[bluastro-yellow]

Kurvitz stresses that Kim doesn't actually have a character sheet hidden in Disco Elysium's code. Imagining that Lieutenant Kitsuragi has only one natural attribute point in Motorics helps the ZA/UM team to understand the depth of his character beyond what's referenced in the game's dialogue. "We just came up with this stuff for coherency," says Kurvitz. "And because we're nerds."

"I like to think Kim has a Thought Cabinet project called Revolutionary Aerostatic Brigades that he's worked on since he was a teenager," Kurvitz says. "This raises the learning caps for his Reaction Speed and Interfacing."

Kim's high Volition skill makes him impervious to prying, Kurvitz says, as the detective can find out on occasions being met with Kim's brick-wall resolve. Kim often chastises these whims of the detective's, but will occasionally play along. The Lieutenant finds his new partner funny, says Kurvitz.

Kim is naturally shit at Motorics and thinks Harry is funny source

#THE GUY WHO SO MANY THOUGHT WAS THE MISSING MOTORICS BUILD IS BAD AT THEM #and thinks cop types are stupid <3 #the bajillion points in authority make even more sense. he probably has a lot of natural points in the purple skills? #(addition: so empathy too T_T !!!) #so this means he had to put a lot of points in composture on purpose. and had to learn how to sew and repair motorcarriages the hard way? #the interfacing learning cap is higher but he still had to put points in it to have more than 1 #his perception is abysmal and it stayed so #his hand/eye coordination is also bad. his shooting posture is horrible. I wonder how he got to 7/10 #I want to poke this nerd with a stick #disco elysium #release the kim character sheet now. what the hell is volta do mar I need to know #he must have volta do mar. h/e coordination. kinetic dressage #(and something related to authority) #first and last are red but it's a different shade than harry's red-pink physical skills #so they must have a different name. but h/e is yellow #maybe everyone has the 4 colors psy/phis/mot/int categories but they have different shades and names #<-all of this is from the official jacket they sell. it's in the description #ok no the color shades are just the website's fault. sad noise

[daily-odile]

everything is the same except Odile is the one looping

oh. heheheheh. muahahahaha. hold on *digs through my pile of disorganized sketches*

Odile loops au; a sketch compilation!!

Some old fic drabbles + associated sketches under cut (a6 secret spoilers):

hc: Since equipment carries over, as long as Odile uses her book in a fight, she can write down notes and have it carry over loops

toxic doomed yuri (for a more fleshed out fic I highly recommend The Sweetest Thing by soreimoon, it's amazing)

#isat #odile loops au #in stars and time #isat spoilers #isat odile #odile timeloop au #isat au #congrats on unleashing the hell gates of odile looping au!!! I've thought about it a bunch!!!!! #contexts: #candy is a reference to sasasap i think. not sure if odile likes candy though #i think it'd be funny if odile struggled with understanding how shields work for a bit. she spends several loops asking mirabelle for help #I think odile would actually spend more time in the loops once she's sure she can just loop again. They're not actually in a rush after all #and she might as well maximize her loops #under cut: #she leaves all of her excess books with loop. Loop has another thing to do while waiting #yes loop is still you know who in this one #toxic doomed yuri is just very self indulgent teehee thanks discord folks #not depicted: I also think that the more loops she does the more she views them as experiments #with variables to control and test #that's where she starts falling off the deep end and start testing stuff like. not warning siffrin about the rock #(instantly regrets it though. loops back the first time she tries) #day 26 today? #A big one! Have funnn #you can tell some of these are really old by the different colored background lmfao

[sweetlullabyebye]

Characters that are absolute lovesick disasters but also brutal killers are... definitely something

#seo moonjo #seo inwoo #jang okju #oswald cobblepot #all brutal and violent and then there's their loved one and it's like 🥰omg hiiiii🥰 #they're handling crushes in their own weird way #the type of characters that's in the middle of killing and has to interrupt because their spouse called #like 'hold up i'll finish strangling u in a minute but my spouse's calling' #that post about 'it's not my fault act of services is my love language and all i know how to do is kill' #kang yohan #xue yang #it's those hearteyes #strangers from hell #psychopath diary #ballerina 2023 #gotham #devil judge #the untamed #theo raeken #teen wolf #meanwhile the other is the most clueless person alive

[fuckyeahisawthat]

“I don’t think that is what God wants. And I don’t think you want it either.”

This line of Aziraphale’s in the Job minisode keeps sticking out to me. Because this is the heart of the problem, right? This is how Aziraphale can see Crowley so completely and also not at all.

Because yes they suck at open communication and yes it’s because they had to hide their relationship for thousands of years and have so so so much trauma and fear to work through. But ALSO they actually do have a profound difference in how they see the world that keeps coming between them, and it’s not just theoretical but deeply personal to both of them.

Because Aziraphale still wants to believe that God is good. He can’t let go of that because his whole identity is wrapped up in being an angel of the Lord, and if God’s not good then what has he been doing for his entire existence?

And so when bad things are happening he falls back on This cannot be what God wants. The whole of season one, he refuses to believe that God could really want the world to end—even though we now know he knew this was a possibility before the world even started. He keeps going up the chain of command, trying to find someone to intervene. “That’s why I’m going to have a word with the Almighty and then the Almighty will fix it.” As if God doesn’t have all the information or hasn’t been paying attention.

And really, the events of season one reinforce this worldview for him. Because if the Archangel Fucking Gabriel isn’t sure what God wants, then maybe God did want them to stop Armageddon. Maybe it was Aziraphale and Crowley who were doing God’s work after all.

He’s gotten as far as realizing that Heaven’s orders are not the same thing as God’s will, but he still hasn’t detached the concepts of Good and Right from God in his worldview.

Crowley is a good person who does the right thing so he must still be an angel deep down. “I know the angel you were.” The only way Aziraphale can conceptualize Crowley saving Job’s children is, “Come on, you’re a little bit on our [God’s] side.” So Crowley’s fall was a mistake; Crowley belongs in Heaven, where he was so happy before the Fall. Why wouldn’t he want to be an angel again? And yeah maybe Heaven sucks now but God is still good, so there’s hope that the system can be reformed with a change of leadership, and Heaven can be made to actually do good, the way God always intended.

But that’s not how Crowley sees the world at all. He is operating with an entirely different understanding of reality. Because he figured out a long time ago (at least by the time of the Job job, but probably long before that) that you can’t base your sense of morality on what you think God wants. Not just because you don’t know for sure, but because sometimes God’s plans are fucking awful. God in Good Omens is not kind to Her creations. She doesn’t tolerate questions or doubts or disobedience. She’s capricious, turning on the creatures She made and killing a bunch of them when She’s in a bad mood. She punishes indiscriminately and disproportionately. She wagers human lives like gambling chips. The kids were supposed to be dead no matter who won the bet.

I think it’s interesting that Crowley is the one who introduces the idea in season one of “What if the Almighty planned it like this all along? From the very beginning.” That’s probably a comforting thought to Aziraphale, soothing his anxieties about going against Heaven right when he is feeling acute distress at the idea of no longer having a side. (And, in that particular moment, no longer even having a bookshop.)

But it’s not a comforting thought to Crowley. Have you seen what happens when God has a plan for you? It fucking sucks. Woe betide you if you’re the Barbie God decides to play with today. (At bare minimum, you’re coming back with some burn marks and a weird haircut.)

I’ve brought up the line “There are no right people. There’s just God, moving in mysterious ways and not talking to any of us” before, and I tend to focus on the “there are no right people” part. But also, there’s just God.

Aziraphale tends to draw a distinction between God’s will and Heaven’s orders when it suits him, and collapse that distinction when it doesn’t. Crowley almost never differentiates between God and Heaven. There’s just God, and She’s not going to explain why this is happening or listen to pleas for mercy (although Crowley still tries). You can’t trust Heaven or Hell, and you can’t count on God to show up and make everything all right. Sometimes God is in fact the reason that things are not all right. You’re on your own.

(And. Look. Crowley is right on this one. There are certainly aspects of their relationship where they’re both equally responsible for things being a shitshow, but the text is pretty unambiguous about Crowley, a demon, having the most accurate read on the nature of God in the world of Good Omens out of any of the metaphysical characters.)

Crowley rebuilt his entire sense of self, alone, after the Fall. He created himself anew and developed his own moral compass and sense of identity independent of both Heaven and Hell. “The angel you knew is not me.” When Crowley does the right thing, that’s not his angel-ness shining through; that’s just Crowley.

And from a like, trauma recovery point of view, it’s actually very healthy for him to have the realization that sometimes God’s just kind of a dick. He didn’t do anything to deserve getting kicked out of Heaven. None of them did. Just God messing them about because She didn’t like being questioned, or She wanted to see what would happen, or She needed two sides for Reasons and didn’t much care who was on one or the other, or She’s playing some fucked up little game for Her own amusement. (And if there was some Great Plan that required Crowley to fall…well, that is also fucked up. Because it doesn’t matter if there was a reason. It still hurt.)

And while Crowley in general is extremely patient with Aziraphale and his slow, halting journey away from Heaven…it’s gotta sting, every time Aziraphale doesn’t want to believe that God could be cruel, when Crowley is standing right fucking there. It’s gotta hurt when Aziraphale refuses to see something that Crowley knows to be true through his own lived experience. Because it should be enough. What happened to him should be enough to make someone who loves him walk away from Heaven and never look back. And it isn’t.

But of course Crowley is one hundred percent not going to talk about this, if he is even fully self-aware about having these thoughts, because it’s far too painful and vulnerable. (He talks to plants, goats, God, and no one in a bar at the end of the world, but never to Aziraphale.) And so he says “Tell me you said no” and “I think I understand a lot better than you do” because he can’t say Choose me. Just this once, choose me and he can’t say Believe me.

And Aziraphale is not going to think about all this and work it out for himself, because he has a massive lump of denial centered around exactly this thing, that sometimes God hurts people who didn’t do anything to deserve it. I’m sure he’s thought about the Fall in abstract terms, enough to be afraid of it, but not in terms of this is a thing that happened to a person I love. And he has certainly not allowed himself to draw any conclusions about the nature of God from it, because that is far too scary a prospect.

And so they’re stuck. Until they can figure out how to remove this massive landmine from the center of their relationship, they are going to keep having the same fight over and over again, and they’re going to keep hurting each other without fully understanding why.

#do you know HOW HARD it is to write genuine ideological conflict that also feels deeply personal?? and they did it SO WELL #i am in awe tbh #good omens #good omens s2 #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #heaven #hell #god #the god in good omens is not nice and you can’t convince me otherwise #is a tag i have from s1 and i’m sticking with it #fall thoughts

[ricky-mortis]

Curly haired Agent Curt Mega :D

#Curt talked about how his hair is naturally curly on his stream Wednesday #cause he hadn’t straightened it before stream #and so I said what if #what if curt characters with curly hair #and y’all know I love drawing agent Curt mega #idk just a silly little idea #I like it #Curt just has great hair period #between this drawing and the Ted one- I think drawing hair is finally growing on me #making peace with it #I love that jacket but it gave me hell this time around #art is pain but by god do I love doing it #spies are forever #curt mega #agent curt mega #saf #tin can bros #tcb spies are forever #hehehe #my art #:)