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immaturityofthomasastruc · 3 years

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Gabriel Agreste: Interesting Villain, Horrible Character (400 Follower Special)

I'm honestly surprised more people didn't want me to talk about Gabriel, especially with how often I rag on how horrible of a person he is. But, three character analysis posts later, and we're going to talk about why the main villain of Miraculous Ladybug is a real letdown.

Gabriel Needs to give the Whining a Rest

The interesting thing is one of the few things I actually liked in Season 3 was Hawkmoth. His plans actually made sense (for the most part), and by playing the long game, he managed to turn Chloe against Ladybug and deprived her of several key allies. Granted, Season 4 immediately undid the latter, but I was still impressed by his strategy.

Generally, one of the better aspects of Gabriel as a character was just how over the top he was as Hawkmoth. Keith Silverstein is clearly giving it his all with his performance, and he is just so enjoyable to watch as a cartoonish supervillain.

And therein lies the first major problem with Gabriel as a character. While he is fun to watch as a simple supervillain, the show tries to give him more depth and unintentionally makes him worse.

In Season 2, when it was revealed that Gabriel was Hawkmoth, many fans speculated on what he needed the Miraculous for, until the Queen Bee Trilogy showed it was to save his possibly dead wife, Emilie. The idea of that is so the show can give more depth to its main villain, and I think it's an interesting idea in concept. After all, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

The problem is just how radically different Gabriel is normally compared to how he is as Hawkmoth. He always goes on about how he's “doing this for Emilie”, but it's hard to really sympathize with him when you consider he constantly gives evil monologues and evil laughs, really getting into the supervillain role. And let's not forget all of the “I'm going to wear Ladybug's skin as a suit” faces he loves to make.

Clearly this man is the picture of mental stability.

Gabriel's motivation for being Hawkmoth when compared to what he actually does as Hawkmoth is shady enough, but the thing is that the writers clearly want the audience to at least feel a little bad for him. They want to make the audience sympathize with him despite the way he acts with or without the mask. Without Miraculous Ladybug, he is routinely putting innocent lives in danger and never once shows regret for his actions. All he talks about is how “he's doing this for Emilie”, or that “he'll get their Miraculous soon”. There's no real reason to feel bad for him other than “because the script says so”.

Let's compare Gabriel to Malcolm Merlyn from Arrow. His big plan in the first season of the show is to create a machine that will cause an earthquake to destroy a crime-infested portion of Starling City, claiming to be trying to help everyone, but it's clear he is only doing it out of revenge for his wife getting killed by a criminal from that part of the city. In addition, throughout that season and future seasons, he always makes sure his plans lead to him benefiting in some way, showing he isn't just some noble man trying to achieve his goals with a less than noble method.

If we got some moments that showed that what Gabriel was doing was selfish, it would make him a more complex villain. But we don't get anything like that. What do we get instead? Well...

I Could Really Care Less About Emilie Agreste

We have known Gabriel's motivation has been to save his wife for a little over two years at this point, but at the same time, it's hard to believe that motivation because of how underdeveloped Emilie is as a character.

There have been a total of two lines in the entirety of the show that explain what happened to Emilie, and they're both vague as hell. One of them was from “Feast” that implied Emilie used the broken Peacock Miraculous.

Adrien: My mom used to have dizzy spells… just like Nathalie.

And the other that outright tells the audience what's happening to her in a clip show that most people will skip.

Nathalie: As I've watched Emilie falling deeper into an endless sleep, my sadness for her has deepened, too

That is literally all we get for an explanation, and nothing else. We have no idea of what she's like as a person or what her relationship with her family was like other than Gabriel and Adrien saying they miss her. Other than the way the narrative says she's important to Gabriel and Adrien, we don't really have a reason to care about her as a character. There have also been some lines that imply she went along with Gabriel's questionable parenting techniques, like how he was apparently only homeschooled as a kid (Origins) and never had a birthday party growing up (The Bubbler), so how do we even know if she's a good person? In fact, why not set up this question as a mystery to make the audience wonder if Gabriel has another reason to bring Emilie back?

It ultimately turns Emilie into a plot device and not a character that Gabriel and Adrien only bring up to make the audience feel bad for them, and meant to justify Gabriel's actions by saying that he's “doing this for his family”.

But hey, if he's doing this all for his family, surely Gabriel's redeeming traits come from his relationship with Adrien, right? Right?

As a Parent, Gabriel is Far From the Best

I've talked about this briefly before, but parenting in Miraculous Ladybug is written in such a black and white way, even by the standards of this show. Parents are portrayed in one of two ways. They're either amazing people who love and support their children unconditionally, or they're awful people who treat their own children like trash. And much like a lot of things in this show, there are times where the latter is treated like the former.

There are so many times where the narrative insists on making you see Gabriel as a troubled, but wellmeaning person who tries his best to be a good parent to Adrien, but it is far from the truth.

I'm not going to beat around the bush. Gabriel is a terrible parent. Like, he is awful at being a parent in so many ways, even before you find out he's Hawkmoth. In his first appearance, “The Bubbler”, he delegates getting Adrien a birthday present to Nathalie, his assistant. He literally can't be bothered to take time out of his schedule to get his own son a present for his birthday. And as the show goes on, he becomes more controlling and forbids Adrien from going out with his friends in other episodes (Captain Hardrock, Silencer). While this could be used to show Gabriel getting worse, it's never acknowledged in-universe, with Adrien continually defending his father essentially keeping him on house arrest.

“But IOTA!” You might say. “Gabriel has made efforts to bond with his son in some episodes.” While that might be true, most of those come right after his Akumas have almost gotten Adrien killed. He only hugged Adrien and made an attempt to learn more about him after Simon Says invaded their home, he only decided to watch that movie Emilie was in with Adrien after Gorizilla nearly dropped him off a building, and he only hugged Adrien again in public after he was turned into a gold statue by Style Queen.

In fact, let's talk about how Gabriel acts in the Queen Bee Trilogy. He actually decides to quit being Hawkmoth, but it's not because he realizes all the damage he's caused. Instead, he gave up because his “magnum opus”, a stronger than usual Akuma that only got the advantage on Ladybug ironically because of dumb luck, failed. Sure, he says he can't keep putting his son in danger, but he rarely ever acknowledges that he does so in the first place. When Riposte wanted to fight Adrien, Hawkmoth did nothing to stop her other than giving her a stern warning earlier on and nothing else. Where was this attitude earlier?

Hell, even then, he immediately goes back to being Hawkmoth as soon as he sees an opportunity, not even a day after his “mAgNuM oPuS” blew up in his face (because I guess Scarletmoth was just Plan B). If he made such a big deal about caring for his son, why didn't he try harder to spend time with him? Has he ever had doubts about what he's doing before? If Chloe didn't show up as Queen Bee, was he going to follow through on his promise and try to be a better father to Adrien instead of trying to get Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous?

And yeah, the whole irony is that Gabriel is doing this for his family when he is unknowingly fighting his own son, which could lead to some interesting drama if done right. The idea of how Gabriel would react to his son being Cat Noir could really lead to some internal struggles for him to go through. But then we got “Cat Blanc”, which shows just how terrible of a character Gabriel is.

In an alternate timeline where he found out his son was Cat Noir, what does Gabriel do? Does he try to steal Adrien's Miraculous while he's sleeping? Does he reconsider his actions or realize he was endangering Adrien's life?

NOPE! He just decides to akumatize him all while emotionally tormenting him, before causing the end of the world.

This is honestly one of the most appalling things I've ever seen in any TV show, because it's basically an abusive father ordering his son to listen to him all while referencing his (kind of) dead mother to back up his point. And rather than use this to show how despicable Gabriel is, the episode decides to blame Marinette for this happening. Yes, according to the show, her present to Adrien caused several events to happen which caused Cat Blanc, but this logic makes no sense. It's like blaming the JFK assassination on the man who sold a gun to Lee Harvey Oswald, instead of, you know, Lee Harvey Oswald.

Not only was this episode yet another excuse to blame Marinette for something that wasn't her fault, it leads into the biggest problem I have with Gabriel as a character.

Sympathize with Gabriel? Surely, You Jest

After everything I've gone over regarding Gabriel as a character, after all the awful things I've talked about, are you really surprised that I don't feel bad for him at all?

Gabriel is just an awful character and a despicable human being, but the show just keeps wanting me to feel bad for him. It's just so hard to when you consider everything he's done has made him anything but sympathetic. I'm just saying, it's kind of hard to feel bad for someone who tries to start World War III with the only justification being “i'M dOiNg It FoR mY fAmIlY”, especially when he treats his family like crap.

The writers go out of their way to show how horrible Gabriel is as Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth, but they think because they throw in a few moments where he looks conflicted, we'll immediately feel bad for him. What makes so many people interested in seeing Chloe become a better person is that they can tell she's the victim of a troubled upbringing, and know that because she's only a teenager, she still has room to grow as a person, represented by having more honest moments of vulnerability. Gabriel is a grown man who once caused the apocalypse because of how terrible of a parent he is, and has even fewer sympathetic moments than Chloe does. Which one of these two is supposedly irredeemable? The answer may surprise you.

But the frustrating thing is that this kind of villain could have worked. Instead of making him this mustache-twirling psychopath, show how much Gabriel regrets what he has to do, but keeps pushing onward despite all the lives he's risking if it means that he can save his wife. Instead of making Gabriel like Lex Luthor, make him like Mr. Freeze, who is basic a better written version of him.

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But as it stands, there's a good reason why Gabriel gets little to no respect as a character in the Miraculous Ladybug fandom, as a villain, or as a father.

#immaturity of thomas astruc #iota #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug salt #gabriel agreste #hawkmoth #hawk moth #shadowmoth #shadow moth #emilie agreste #adrien agreste #cat noir #chat noir #cat blanc #chat blanc #nathalie sancoeur #mayura #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug

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kuekyuuq · 3 years

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I have to ask...

Where do the anti-supercorp people get the idea from that Lena Luthor is xenophobic?

Are we watching the same show?

I can see how one does not like Lena.

I can see how some of Lena's actions can be considered irredeemable.

I can see that her family was/is xenophobic.

I can agree she made some horrible mistakes in judgement.

Canon told us:

Lena was fired by Lex from LuthorCorp because he thought her naive about her pro-alien stance. The same brother who analysed Lena since she was four.

Lena was horrified when Lex tied her to a chair and made her watch his attempt to kill Superman by turning the sun red

Lena came to National City in hopes to work with Supergirl (an alien)

Lena actively re-branded LutherCorp to LCorp to get rid of the anti-alien stuff and everything else people connected with the Luthor name

Yes, Lena created an alien-detector, but her intention was one out of ignorance (of the backlash this could cause), not of hate - when Kara much later explains the potential bad the item could cause, Lena is very much listening

Lena helps Kara on several occasions, using her intel and providing it to Kara, so Kara can investigate and write articles to dismantle anti-alien organisations (e.g. Veronica Sinclair's fight club, Cadmus)

Lena helps Supergirl on several occasions, using her intel and providing it to Supergirl, so Supergirl can dismantle anti-alien organisations

Lena actively seeks to dismantle Cadmus - the anti-alien group - even before Lena started suspecting Lillian to be involved

Lena schemes against Lillian to use Medusa to kill all aliens on Earth

Lena testified both against her alien-hating mother and brother

As soon Lillian told Lena about Lex' former facilities, she starts looking into them - they are well hidden, so it does take her a while (and by this date in the show, she may still not have unearthed all of them) - and dismantles many of them / continues to give Kara/Supergirl information about them (e.g. when Kara asks Lena for tech to find missing aliens, Lena offers to look into L-Corp (= former LutherCorp) database to search for anything useful for that particular cause

Lena encourages Kara strongly to find a way to warn all aliens about the alien registration manifest being leaked - she inspired Kara to "blob"

When Lillian finds out Lena is pro-alien and helping find the abducted aliens, she has her goons try to scare her off ("nothing permanent" - the goons accidentally threw Lena off her balcony...) - even her own family sees how non-xenophobic Lena is

Lena sacrifices Jack (her former boyfriend and still potential romantically involved one) to save Supergirl (the alien) - and (rightfully) blames the human woman, who controlled Jack, for it

When Lena suspects and confirms Rhea to be an alien, she cuts ties with her - because Rhea lied to her, not because she's an alien

Lena starts working with Rhea (confirmed alien) again - to help aliens who "weren't as lucky" as Rhea's people and to further and better Earth technologies; reduce environmental damages by infrastructure / good transports / traffic.... only to be betrayed by Rhea.

Lena learns Mon-El, Kara's boyfriend, was Daxamite and has zero issues about it

Lena has no issue with Sam being half-alien, but with the Reign-half being a huge menace to Earth, so tries to stop her and save Sam

The DEO kept Kryptonite in case any of the Supers went rogue - like Batman and Oliver Queen kept theirs - Lena kept and created Kryptonite and Harun-El to ...cure cancer; to fight against sicknesses, to use as a clean energy-source, to... do good things

...yes, she lied about it. But, her not-so-wrong reasoning was "if I tell, they will take it away. If they take it away, I won't be able to do good with it."

Lena rather had Supergirl drop her than chemicals that could have harmed thousands (human and alien)

Lena becomes quick allies and friends with Brainy (admitably, in many ways he's more AI than alien...) and befriends Nia later on, too

What else does Lena do with her stash of Kryptonite and the knowledge she gained from it? When Mercy & Otis Graves irradiate Earth's atmosphere with Kryptonite, Lena already has created an anti-Kryptonite suit for Supergirl and the fact it’s already at hand saves Supergirl’s life!

That's only up to season four...

Yes, Lena did shitty stuff in season five. Arguably, for the right reasons, but ‘the road to hell is paved with good intentions’... But were any of those things xenophobic?

The problem she has with Kara in season five is NOT because she’s an alien - but because she felt betrayed, personally. Rightfully so? Eeeeeeeh.... while it surely must have hurt to learn your best friend lied to you and played two personalities, at times taking advantage of it, too - which, let’s be honest, Kara did - Kara did have her reasons (initially), it IS selfish for Lena to assume the worst and take the fact itself so personally. But, everybody lives in their own world, I am sure - dear few readers, who took it upon yourselves to read this monster of a post - we can agree, that we all judge the world and others based on our own perceived reality, based on our own experiences, emotions and circumstance, whether we try to be better than that or not... I’d even make the argument, Lena is more upset with her intimate friend “Kara” (whom she shared her most intimate thoughts and feelings with) having lied to her, than with “Supergirl” taking advantage of her. Being played, Lena can deal with, but trusting and seeing that trust shattered... low blow. Please, correct me if I’m wrong, but to my knowledge, the only time Lena uses Kara being an alien against her, is when she uses and reworks the Fortress of Solitude's already existing settings to trap Kara in there for long enough for herself to get a head-start on getting Myriad to work (how else was she supposed to achieve that?). Myriad, which she wanted to use to STOP hate, including racism (xeno-cism?). Brainwashing everyone is most certainly a veeeeeeery misguided approach, but the premise of ending all hate and the resulting pain is very much like the notion of "praying for world peace" - just that Lena got sick of praying and decided to actually go ahead and do something about it ((again: notion good; (attempted) execution horrifying)).

Even Lena trapping Malefic was to that very end. She trapped Eve (human) as well on that line of thought. At the least, she offered Malefic a deal to his liking as payment...? Eve on the other hand....

If anything, Lena is people-phobic. She has a hard time trusting anyone, remains suspicious to a fault. ...she did effectively kill Eve on Earth-38, though, by over-writing her with Hope.

Kara forgave her aunt, who came just as close, wanting to use Myriad for very similar purposes - and then forgave Lena, eventually, just as much. The difference being, Astra died. We never got to see if Astra would have actually stopped her plan, convinced Non, and/or would have aimed / worked hard to redeem herself...

In the same episode, where Lena's attempts with Myriad failed (and Hope took the fall) Malefic, who had tried to murder multiple people as part of his revenge against his brother (and had targeted Kelly for a while, too) was set free by J'onn and sent to Mars to do good there.

The whole of National City forgave Supergirl (and her potential for going bad and for her causing actual destruction) only a week after the redK incident...

All that said:

1) Lena lied to Kara and played her. Sure, Lena felt betrayed and from her point of view, with her set of experiences and her own preexisting many traumas and (very bad) coping mechanisms, it was... well, understandable... or at least traceable. But, forgivable? That's ultimately up for her victim (Kara) to decide. And, apparently, she does forgive her. Not easily. But she does; understands both sides, evaluates, listens to others, observes the remorse, and makes her own decision / judgement... which is (initially, tentative) forgiveness.

2) The show is REALLY BAD at dealing with characters' actions’ or events' consequences. Period. There is no real consistency, 'cept that things don't have real repercussions. That is how the writers decided to write the show from season one on. If the writers think Kara forgives Lena and show it, then that's that.

3) Every time I read the notion that Lena was/is xenophobic, I can't help but wonder if anyone who claims such even watched the show.

4) Lena is not her brother. She's flawed. She makes mistakes. But for once, Lena and her character are suffering the consequences. That may not enough for the liking of Lena Luthor haters, or anti-Supercorp taggers, but it is what it is - and it is much more than most any actual bad guy had to suffer through. Bad guys with evil intentions, (mass) murderers, people (alien and human) that rationally caused lasting harm and/or trauma to their victims.

5) Lena is not xenophobic.

Kue out.

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wallwriterstuff · 3 years

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Obsession ||Yandere!Alec Volturi x Female Reader|| Part 1

Warnings: Yandere!Alec, obsessive behaviour, unhealthy relationships and implied non-con later on. This is possibly one of the darkest fics I have ever written so please be aware if controlling behaviour, gaslighting etc. If this is triggering to you, do not read this fic. This and posts like this one will be tagged under dark themes so please feel free to block that tag if you do not want to see content like this in the future.

The following link will take you to a Citizen’s Advice Page that have resources regarding Domestic abuse and violence. They detail various organisations offering support, refuge and advice for both women and men in abusive situations, however these only apply to the UK.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/gender-violence/domestic-violence-and-abuse-getting-help/

I am from the UK and therefore am not sure about what resources may be available internationally, however I know many of you are from places outwith the UK. If you have any resources you know of that would be useful or helpful to add here then please do! You can reblog this post with link in or message me a link to have me edit it into the original. I will post this link and any that get added in all three parts of this fic that I post.

Words: 3116

Summary: A request for @tiger-khans-blog Savings your sister’s boyfriend was an act of kindness, something you had done out of the goodness of your heart, but hadn’t they always said the road to hell is paved with good intentions? Alec is aged up to 16 in this fic.

Part 2: When You’re Lost I’ll Leave My Gaslight On

Part 3: These Violent Delights

It had been near constant since you’d entered the room.

His eyes were the most piercing ruby red – until they weren’t. The onyx colour had followed you ever since you’d set foot in the throne room, a sharp inhale being the extent of his communication with you. If he wasn’t so damn creepy he might have been handsome, with his shock of dark hair framing a pale face with all the sharp, angular cheekbones and jawline of a model. He was taller to, definitely taller than you by at least half a head, but his stare was piercing and completely at odds with his otherwise apathetic expression. He showed no emotion at all yet the way he looked at you…it was like the whole world revolved around you and only you. There was hunger and excitement and need and envy and a whole host of other emotions in his eyes. It had made you so uncomfortable you’d gravitated towards Alice as best you could, but the whole plan had gone out of the window when the hulking mass of muscle they called Felix started towards your sister.

Isabella Swan was two years older than yourself, but for most of your life she had been the one taking care of you. Renée hadn’t planned on having a second child but like so many other things in her life, you were a complete accident. As loving as your mother was, she wasn’t necessarily fit to take care of one child, never mind two. Bella was the one who had helped with homework, who had crawled into your bed with you when you had nightmares or were sick. To see Felix coming straight for her was like something straight out of a nightmare and you’d moved without thinking. One minute you were facing the taunting smirk of a mountain man and the next the room had blurred, and your vision was filled with the furious stare of the boy who had been watching you all day.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he hissed. His grip on the tops of your arms tight enough to bruise. You winced, wide eyes filling with tears, and in the next second the boy had released your arms and moved to tenderly cup your face. “Shhh, shhhh sh sh, it’ll all be over soon.” He promised, thumbs stroking your cheeks while you tried to squirm out of his grip. His eyes hardened, clearly unhappy with you trying to escape him. You could only see him, his face the only thing in your vision, but you could hear what sounded like rocks colliding, granite smashing. Your body trembled, anxiety filling you up. It wasn’t clear if the boy was more upset with your trying to get out of his grip than your interference with Bella’s execution, but those coal black eyes never lost their laser focus on you.

“Alec?” the petite blonde beside him sounded thoroughly confused while you fought off a shudder. You hated how his name sounded so appealing. Everything about him was enticing, even his scent, but he terrified you beyond belief with the way he was acting.

“Is it the noise? Would you prefer not to see? To hear?” he asked. In the next second it was all gone, like the world had fallen away around you. You couldn’t see, couldn’t hear; you were left screaming in your own head with absolutely no idea if you were still in that awful, awful room or if your soul had mercifully fled your body before you could feel any pain. There was simultaneously nothing and everything, an endless abyss of silence and the imprecise, ever-shifting image of what you thought you remembered the Volturi’s throne room to look like wavering in your head.

Being left alone with your imagination was somehow worse than seeing the actual thing. In your mind Bella was torn in half, one hand stretched towards you while the other remained in Felix’s grip. Alice was trapped by Demetri, Felix holding Edward by the throat. Then the scene would shift and Bella was limp in his arms with Felix’s mouth attached to her neck, both Cullen’s dead and Alec descending on you with that insane stare of his. There were too many ways to envision what mutilation might have occurred and you were beginning to drive yourself insane with them when suddenly the darkness faded.

You blinked rapidly, unsure if what you were seeing was real since it was so blurred. A gentle hand dabbed rough wool beneath your eye and you realised the world looked so watery because you had been crying. Alec used the sleeves of his jacket to dry your tears. Bella was watching you with horror filled eyes, your trembling body almost giving way as you fought the urge to run – you were sure Alec would just drag you back. You could feel his breath on the side of your face. He clearly didn’t understand the concept of personal space.

“Mesmerising, to see what you have seen before it has happened.” Aro murmured, stroking Alice’s hand before she pulled it back with a clearly forced smile.

“But what will.” She reminded him. He clapped his hands, looking so joyful you were left utterly paralysed with confusion. Did he not understand how terrifying this all was? Had he not seen the sheer crazy that was waiting to burst forth out of the boy holding you back? His behaviour was erratic, completely at odds with the rest of the refined and well disciplined Guard. How could Aro not see?

“Yes, yes it’s quite certain, you are free to leave.” Aro informed them. Your breath escaped you in a rush and you immediately tried to dash for your sister. Bella had opened her arms straight to you and the safe haven was so close, yet so far. Alec didn’t let you take a step, hauling you back against his chest and burying his nose in the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply.

“No you don’t, I’ve waited too long.” He grumbled. You struggled frantically, the tears springing to your eyes again as Caius tried to protest his brother’s decision. You had drawn the attention of most of the Guard and the man you knew to be Marcus by now though, the brunette king looking somewhat sympathetic towards you. For a man with no respect for human life to look at you like that could most certainly not be a good thing.

“What are you doing brother? Let the foolish thing go.” Jane said, reaching for his arm. His head snapped up, a growl rumbling through his chest into your spine. If looks could kill, you had no doubt the petite blonde would have burst into flame then and there, bursting into a thousand pieces with the intensity of the danger in his glare.

“Bella!” you whimpered. His hold was like having an iron beam wrapped around your torso, two strong arms refusing to let you move so much as an inch from his chest. It didn’t make sense, none of it did, why was he so obsessed with keeping you near? Did he want you dead? He couldn’t, he’d had plenty of chance to do so by now and hadn’t taken a single opportunity to hurt you on purpose. So what was his problem with you?

“Alec, dear one, is something the matter?” Aro asked, eyes glistening.

“Aro.” His brother held a hand out to him and the black haired leader flashed towards him while you continued to struggle, your frustration mounting.

“Let me go!” you cried, You stomped on his foot – nothing. You threw your elbow back into his ribs – nothing except a sore elbow for you. You tried to pry his arms away from your body – nothing.

“No.” he hissed. You squeezed your eyes shut.

“Let me go! Please! Let me go!” you begged.

“I said, no.” he repeated, his voice ice cold. Your heart rabbited in your chest, the nausea in your throat rising until you were sure you were on the verge of throwing up. You could barely breathe and it wasn’t just his tight grip that was the problem. There was a panic attack looming on the horizon for you if he kept this up.

“Please, let her go, she’s done nothing wrong. Aro said we were free to go.” Bella tried. She took a step towards you and with one swift jerk he had turned his back on her. You screamed, your limbs fatigued and losing strength with every hit.

“I’m afraid young Y/N will not be going home with you,” Aro’s voice was soft, “To separate them would clearly only cause harm. Alec cannot leave his mate.” You froze in his grip, fingers curling into the fabric of his jacket as you lip trembled. Mate? Mate? What the hell did that even mean? Animals mated, not humans! Was that what he was implying? The boy was so horny for you he wouldn’t let you leave? The fear that gripped you was utterly paralysing as you thought of a thousand different scenarios that made you want to be utterly sick with the horror of them; your choices taken from you, your voice inconsequential as he did things to you you never consented to.

“She’s my sister! Please, I’ve looked after her since she was born, you can’t just-“

“And from this day forth she’ll be looked after by me. She is mine.” Alec snarled quietly. He didn’t seem to notice you’d gone completely rigid in his grip.

“Alec her father will be devastated, she hasn’t even finished school, if you keep her here you’ll just make her unhappy.” Edward tried to reason with him, but he merely tightened his grip on you. You cried out, a sharp pain ripping through your midriff as he almost choked the life from you. The blonde-haired Guard appeared in your line of sight then, his expression somewhat concerned as you struggled to force air into your lungs. If Alec could hear you rasping for air he didn’t show it.

“Alec, old friend look at her,” he coaxed. Alec had done plenty of looking at you, you didn’t want him to look anymore. You shied away from his gaze, head ducking and hair falling between you. Shuddering gasps escaped you as your heart began to roar in your ears, a sure sign there wasn’t enough oxygen getting into your lungs. One arm moved from around your waist but you were too scared to move away from him now, his freezing cold fingers gently brushing your hair back. You flinched.

“She’s mine, Demetri.” He insisted, frowning like a petulant child who was being threatened with their favourite toy being taken from them. Demetri nodded his head.

“She is, and yet she flinches from you. You are scaring her Alec, and she will most definitely bruise if you keep holding her so tight, that’s I she doesn’t suffocate first. Do you want that for your mate? Do you wish to hurt her? To make her fear you?” he questioned. Alec gave a soft wince, immediately loosening his grip.

“I’ve hurt you?” he asked, looking a lot like a wounded puppy now. You swallowed past the lump in your throat, not trusting your voice to remain steady and simply nodding in response. His eyes were still wide with conflicting emotion, but Demetri seemed to be getting through to him at least. You were grateful, and pleaded with your eyes for the man to keep going.

“You cannot simply claim her Alec, she is so young still, would you not prefer her to live a full life and come to you willingly?” Demetri wondered. You felt your stomach drop as Alec’s expression hardened.

“You’re trying to take her from me to.” he growled.

“Alec you are-“

“She, is, not, leaving!” he snarled, a sea of black exploding around him. Your eyes widened, a cool mist swirling about your legs as you finally managed to stumble away from him. Only Bella was still standing, the others having crumpled to the floor until only he, you and Bella remained conscious.

“Y/N!” she cried out. He didn’t stop you running to her this time. You stumbled into her arms, sobbing and shaking. She held you tight to her, her fingers pressing harshly into her skin. It felt like butterfly wings caressing your flesh compared to Alec’s vice like grip. “It’s okay, we’ll figure this out, it’ll be okay, you just have to-“

“Make this quick, say goodbye to your sister. That’s what you want isn’t it? A proper goodbye?” Alec asked, mist still pouring from his hands as his black eyes followed your every move. You shook your head frantically.

“I don’t want to say goodbye, I want to go home! Let me go home!” you begged. Alec hissed.

“What don’t you understand? You are my mate! I’ve waited a thousand years for you, you are mine and you cannot walk away from me!” he snapped. Bella tried to hush you, stroking your hair gently as you collapsed into her.

“Please don’t let him keep me here.” You cried. Bella remained silent, horribly, startlingly silent. Her hands shook as she held you close. Alec approached you, the mist seemingly absorbing back into his body as he walked. The room was in an uproar as soon as everyone was on their feet again, Felix and Demetri forcing him to his knees with furious expressions. He still never took his eyes off of you, his expression devoid of any and all emotion suddenly.

“Are you insane Alec? Using your gift on us? We’re trying to help you!”

“How could you brother? You broke our promise and for a human no less!”

“What insolence is this? Need we remind you of your place boy!”

Alec didn’t respond to any of the accusations, his neck straining so he could keep his eyes on you. Aro only had to touch his hand to know his intentions for you, but you didn’t dare look anymore, choosing instead to bury your face in your sister’s neck as you struggled to calm your breathing and sobbing.

“I would advise you leave now.” Felix huffed.

“We can’t,” Edward’s voice was quiet, apologetic, “Y/N, if we take you, he’ll destroy us all.” Your chest constricted, you felt like you could barely breathe as a lead weight settled in your gut. Destroy them? Alec was a killer, if the red eyes hadn’t told you so then his actions just now had. It wasn’t difficult at all to believe he’d go so far as to kill anyone who stood between you both, but what hurt even more was that you didn’t trust him to be good to you if you stayed either. Why did it have to be you? You’d come to Volterra to do something good, to save someone’s life! So why were you losing yours?

“You ought think on your actions Alec, your mate will be here waiting for you, but for now you need some time to reflect on your position. I think two weeks in the dungeons ought to suffice.” Aro’s voice was ice cold, his fury obvious. Clearly, he had never thought one of his own guard would dare use his powers against him.

“You monster! You fucking monster! Edward I can’t leave her here, she’s my baby sister!” Bella protested. You tightened your grip on her shirt, eyes itchy red and cheeks wet as the terrible weight of hopelessness sank down on your chest. There was no way out. Even if they had tricked Alec and let you leave what then? Did you run from him for the rest of your life? Did you just wait for him to find you? Maybe the dungeon might mellow him out some? It was a bit of a relief really, when the stress just shut your brain and body down, even if the moment of relief was as brief as blinking.

You could almost pretend nothing had ever happened, that perhaps you were at home, as your consciousness dripped back into you. You were on soft sheets, your pillow cradling your head, and you wanted to just burrow away in them. The only thing was, you could feel sunlight warming your skin, and that addictive, woodsy smell was not the lavender your laundry usually came out smelling like. You felt awfully nauseous for a moment when you opened your eyes, your body readjusting to having your brain in control once more, but the red eyes that met yours were far kinder this time than Alec’s aggressively territorial stare. The chestnut brown hair and angular face was familiar to you, and you warily sat up to lean back against the headboard. Demetri let you put the distance between you with an aura of calm that tempted you to relax to. He was alone, no Felix or Jane by his side, but that didn’t mean he was any less dangerous.

“Where’s Bella?” you whispered. She had to be somewhere nearby. Maybe she was in the bathroom? Or had gone to find food and drink? How long had you even been out? Whose room was this?

“She and the Cullen’s departed for their return flight to America not an hour ago.” Demetri informed you. Your stomach dropped, your nausea rising and face paling.

“No…no she – she didn’t leave me here, she didn’t….you’re lying!” Knees curling to your chest, you gripped tightly at your jeans until your knuckles turned as white as your face.

“Not without protest,” he assured you, his voice softer now with sympathy, “But it seems Alec has become unpredictable. His reaction to the mate pull unnerved us all, you are not alone in your fear, though perhaps we fear different things.” His voice was soothing in a way not much else to you was right now. Thoughts swirled in your mind, the bitterness at your abandonment only outweighed by terror at being left behind.

“What is he going to do to me?” you asked, your voice barely more audible than a whisper. Demetri’s head tilted.

“And that is why I am afraid…I truly cannot tell you.” He murmured. He didn’t exactly comfort you when the tears came again, your eyes beyond irritated with all the crying you’d done today, but he didn’t stop you from letting your emotions run away from you instead. He remained close enough to remind you you weren’t alone, but Demetri didn’t hold you as Bella would, or stroke your hair or do anything remotely soothing. His greatest gift to you in that moment was to simply let you be human.

You didn’t know how long that would last.

#twilight #twilight fanfiction #yandere alec #alec volturi #alec volturi x female reader #demetri volturi #felix volturi #jane volturi #request #volturi #dark themes

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waywardrose · 4 years

Text

On Babbushka

There is a group of well-known writers in the fandom who have been discouraged and put down by one of their own, Zannah - @babbushka. It happens behind the scenes in DMs. It happens in posts and tags.

In DMs, she has started conversations with seemingly innocent questions. When she doesn't receive the response she was aiming for, she diverts the conversation to criticizing and humiliating the person. She has attacked writers for tagging—or not tagging—a post in a way she deems appropriate. She has gotten into arguments over how characters were portrayed and then tried to claim victimization when the other person wouldn't knuckle under.

She will appeal to her following to attack any fan or creator who has an opinion that differs from her own. She will encourage friends to send rude anons. Those same friends will also DM the target with rude remarks.

Several creators have stopped writing altogether because of their interactions with her.

We are tired of being discouraged. We are tired of being talked down to. We are tired of being bullied. Enough is enough. Under the cut we share our stories, let the chips fall where they may. It's up to you, the reader, to decide whether to support her.

We can only warn up-and-coming writers, artists, fans, and supporters of her behavior.

Hope - @callmehopeless

The Australian bushfires of the 2019-2020 season were nightmarish—for those living through it and those witnessing. As the season went on, cries for help increased. Joaquin Phoenix used the time during his Best-Actor acceptance speech at the Golden Globes to call for unity, action, and accountability. Regardless of what we may think of him, it was a thoughtful speech.

Hope, who is an Australian, found Mr. Phoenix's message encouraging and reblogged a gifset of his speech.

That morning, Zannah made a post about Mr. Phoenix's shady past and his association with a known sexual predator. The main reason wasn't because his speech was inappropriate or not timely, but because she didn't think he should be the one to get the attention over other actors who had spoken of the bushfires during the Golden Globes.

While Hope confessed she was scared of the bushfires, scared for her loved ones, Zannah was more concerned with purity. To Zannah it was about the face of the message, not the message itself. It didn't matter that Mr. Phoenix was amplifying support for Australia, what did matter was that he had done bad things.

It was virtue signaling on Zannah's part.

Still, this remains a complicated argument. Can a person who has done bad things actually have something positive to add to a cause? Should we listen to a problematic person if they share an insight? Does it reflect poorly on us to agree with their isolated statement? Will we be canceled, too? What about the bigger picture?

In this case, the bigger picture was hundreds of homes were destroyed in the bushfires and families were displaced. People died, thousands of animals died. And it was because of climate change. Mr. Phoenix called for his rich peers to examine their respective lifestyles and to give back.

Yes, Mr. Phoenix has done bad things. Yes, he has associated with people who have done bad things. His words resonated with people on Tumblr, and they reblogged part of his speech. He said something that gave Hope hope.

Hope was asked by a third party how they could help. She came back with a resource guide for those who wanted to send aid to Australians.

When it became obvious Zannah wouldn't silence Hope, Zannah decided to sub-post about the interaction. There, she accused Hope of being a rape apologist for reblogging a gifset and finding a little comfort in it. Zannah placed her ego before someone who was facing a very real danger.

Side-eying an actor is one thing, shaming a person you know for finding solace during a scary time is another. Hope isn't responsible for which voice got picked up. The only "colors" being shown here are Zannah's. She put her own concerns about being perceived as morally pure above actually supporting a friend.

I'll keep this brief - I knew Zannah for many years. And on one of the lowest weeks of my life, when my suburb was burning down and I feared for my family: she convinced me I was a rape apologist for sharing Joaquin Phoenix's speech asking for action on bushfires. In all my life, I never felt more alone. To add insult to injury, she then posted memes mocking me - something that has stuck with me to this day.

I've had dear friends quit the fandom because of her kinkshaming. I've had people I love message me distraught over what she's said.

Enough is enough.

— @callmehopeless

Rose - @the-wayward-rose

This PM exchange started after I tagged my reblog of Zannah's fic Feast (Cameron Bistle x Reader) with cw: white reader. I had been on her taglist, and I wanted to show support because I liked the fic overall. For context, the reason for my tag is because of this sentence:

"But then you're blushing so pretty and squeezing his hand affectionately and reaching for the handle to the passenger side of his car, and then you're laughing when he swats your hand away to open it for you, and then you're beckoning him down as if to ask a question – only to place a chaste kiss to his lips instead."

This is from Cameron's point of view.

She asked the reason for the tag, and I explained it was because of the use of "blush" to describe Reader's appearance.

She misunderstood my premise. I did not mean only white people blush.

According to Merriam-Webster, blush means "a reddening of the face especially from shame, modesty, or confusion" or "a red or rosy tint."

It is an autonomic response, though. It happens in all humans for body cooling and nonverbal communication. The main problem with using it universally is that melanin obscures the appearance of said autonomic response.

Here's an example of three runners:

The two pale women, left and center, are pink in the face. They are blushing. The woman of color on the right is likely blushing, too. However, the melanin in her skin obscures the blood in her cheeks. She is not pink.

That's the pitfall of the word "blush." The observer can't always see it. We know what it feels like. We all do it. The face and/or neck gets hot. The use of "blush" is shorthand in narrative, and I understand that. Nevertheless, when writing to cater to a reader-insert audience of unknown heritage, writers need to consider describing with universal terms.

Again, she misunderstood my premise. I clarified by asking how Cameron sees the Reader blush under an abundance of melanin:

She sidestepped the physiological explanation to go straight for justification. She tried to legitimize "blush" as "perhaps [this]" or "perhaps [that]" when I stated earlier that blush by definition is pink or is to redden. That's the logic. A noncommittal, covering-all-the-bases, complicated defense diluted the conversation.

With her earlier "I have friends of color, hence I can't be exclusionary" statement, I wasn't sure she would get my point. I take full responsibility for not explaining, too. I should've asked for some time to gather my thoughts, but I didn't. Truthfully, I was unprepared, because I didn't think my insignificant tag would be an issue.

Also, I was confused why she was trying to police my blog.

Her replies came rapidly—before I could mention my confusion—and felt aggressive in the moment. Maybe that wasn't her intention, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

That doesn't take away from the fact that words have meaning. It's why we use specific words. It's not understood in the narrative that her use of "blush" could mean a bunch of things. If I had known, I wouldn't have tagged as I did. How is a reader of color supposed to know that? How does Cameron see Reader's blush if she has darker skin?

As writers, we don't know who is reading. Someone could be very pale or very dark. A person with medium-toned skin can turn a shade of pink or red. A person with darker-toned skin will not. We can't assume all readers are medium to pale. We need to develop better writing skills. We have to include everyone.

Readers of color > White-writer feelings

When I stood my ground, she doubled down, stating I made no sense in my tagging and that I lacked the ability to learn from her. She then diverted the argument, attacking a ficlet I wrote a few days beforehand—which had nothing to do with this argument. The Christian imagery in that ficlet was upsetting to her and "in such poor taste" because she headcanons Flip Zimmerman (BlacKkKlansman) is 100% culturally and ethnically Jewish.

Flip stated in the movie:

"I'm Jewish, but I wasn't raised to be. It wasn't part of my life. I never thought much about being Jewish. Nobody around me was Jewish. I wasn't going to a bunch of Bar Mitzvahs. I didn't have a Bar Mitzvah. I was just another white kid. And now I'm in some basement denying it out loud[...] I never thought much about it. Now I'm thinking about it all the time. About rituals and heritage. Is that passing? Well then, I have been passing."

By his own admission, Flip is ethnically Jewish, but not culturally. These are two separate things, and that should be recognized. While Judaism is ethnically and culturally entwined in ways that other religions are not, one does not equate the other. You can be one and not the other.

At the time, I didn't want her to sic her 3000+ followers on me. I wasn't going to argue further. I asked myself if the ficlet was important and worth anon-hate and realized, no, it wasn't. It was a throw-away.

And since I'm not culturally Jewish, maybe I had misstepped. And since Zannah is both culturally and ethnically Jewish, I asked for her guidance.

She flatly refused my request. I don't know how I was supposed to learn from her if she wouldn't teach me.

It sounded as if she wanted me to delete the whole fic. Like none of it was worth saving because it hadn't been Zannah-approved. I had gone against her headcanon, and the fic was too offensive to fix.

The last sentence was supposed to cover her back from criticism, and it placed all the responsibility on me. Obviously, she was above such petty concerns as someone else's blog or writing. Never mind that she had just attempted to get me to change my tagging system and rewrite my ficlet. On my blog.

Later, I figured out she was only criticizing and not offering a constructive critique. Her argument was not in good faith. It was retaliation for not giving her the obedience she thought she was owed.

This is the passage that offended her:

"It’s because of the way he fucks you. Like it’s confession—though he’s never been much of a church-going man. Every touch, every thrust, is a truth between you. Even when it’s rough and greedy. It feels like flagellation when you claw his back. He wears the sin proudly."

This is what I edited it to:

"It’s because of the way he fucks you. Every touch, every thrust, is a truth between you. Even when it’s rough and greedy. It feels like flagellation when you claw his back. He wears your marks proudly."

Yeah, I'm not pleased with the revised passage. It's lost its teeth, but I keep it.

The anonymous message(s) she mentioned weren't very anonymous, either. Unfortunately, I've since deleted the two messages. I had apologized to Anon for disappointing them. I said that if the fic was too much, they should unfollow and block me. I meant that in a self-care way. At the same time, I did not—and do not—owe anyone discourse. I don't have to explain my art when it doesn't hurt anyone. And no one was hurt by some purportedly misplaced religious imagery.

I have been silent about this since late January/early February. I was embarrassed. I had been bullied into changing my blog and my fic by someone who proclaims to never do anything of the sort. I had been a fool. Since this conversation with her, I have been blocked/blacklisted by third-parties, most likely at her behest, when none of this exchange had been necessary.

Kassanovella - @kylorengarbagedump

Zannah's followers have asked her about Kassanovella’s Fix Your Attitude. For context, it's currently one of the most kudo-ed fics for Kylo Ren x Reader on AO3. It had a bit of a renaissance earlier in 2020 because a TikToker wrote a song for it.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to read a fic. If the subject matter doesn't work for a reader, they don't have to partake. Easy as that. So, these tags aren't a problem.

However, it led to this...

She lashed out, calling Kassanovella's fic a joke. A joke.

She implied her fics should be as popular as Kassanovella's because she works really hard on them. She admitted she's tied to the metrics. She implied she wouldn't be writing fic if not for the external validation.

Here's the thing about fanfic: readers like what they like. They don't care about a writer's effort. They only know what works for them. They comment and give kudos, reblog and like what they connect with. That is not under the writer's control. All a writer can do is try their best and concentrate on what they're passionate about.

To bash another writer's fic because it's popular is disrespectful. This whole bitter rant drips of entitlement and is an affront to Kassanovella.

Some time later, an incident happened in a chatroom during a streaming event for veterans by Arts In the Armed Forces (Adam Driver's organization). At least one fan brought up Fix Your Attitude while waiting for Mr. Driver to make an appearance. They were also disrespectful towards the other presenters by demanding to see Mr. Driver. It caused a big stink within the fandom, and Zannah had some choice words.

While mentioning the fic during the livestream was inappropriate, it was also inappropriate to throw all fans of the fic under the bus as she did in her tag. Sweeping generalizations and incriminations of a subset of fans certainly reads as if she resents those fans for a perceived slight.

Next, Zannah made an earlier disparaging comment about Kassanovella's fic, Little Bird. Unfortunately, that comment is lost. However, the messages supporting the comment remain. (For context, Little Bird is a Kylo Ren x Reader The Handmaid's Tale AU. It has been well received in the fandom, earning thousands of kudos on AO3.)

What an author wants to write about and sexualize is their business. Fantasizing about being dominated by Kylo Ren isn't cringe. It's a sexual fantasy. Some sexual fantasies can be disturbing to those who do not share the same kink.

Sexual fantasies are like ice cream. There's a reason why there are different flavors.

Also, "I will never ever be a person that tells an author what to do or not do" is an absolute lie. As evident in this post, Zannah most definitely tells authors what to do or not do.

Again, she bashes Kassanovella, claiming her writing isn't good. Her motivation for bashing Kassanovella can only be speculation. With Zannah's previously stated opinion of Fix Your Attitude, though, it indicates a certain level of negative emotions.

Anonymous

An anonymous person came forward with a case of Zannah policing their blog. Anon has a sideblog for their personal AU with Flip Zimmerman. They reblog gifsets and post headcanons. They were an enthusiastic fan of Zannah's and reblogged a few of the gifset she made. Anon tagged their reactions, and Zannah blocked them for it.

Anon went to Zannah and asked why they were blocked, because all they wanted to do was have fun and support fellow Flip lovers.

Anon was under the impression that because they were shipping themselves, and not Zannah, with Flip, she blocked them. Their personal AU doesn't align with Zannah's headcanon that she alone is married to this character and has his children.

While Zannah's reply may sound innocent, and perhaps it is, it also speaks to someone who has set herself up as the owner of Flip Zimmerman. (Wait until Spike Lee or the real Ron Stallworth hears about that...) It appears that if a fan does not comply with the Zannah-approved headcanon, where only she is married to Flip, that fan shall be blocked. If a fan uses tags on their blog that she does not approve of, that fan will be blocked.

Zannah's policing is disturbing. Going into a blog to look for something as a reason to block is disturbing. Any fan is allowed to use any tag on their blog how they wish. If the OP has said their post can be reblogged, how a reblogger tags is beyond the OP's control. To punish that reblogger for not behaving in a way she finds acceptable is uncalled for and unjust.

Anonymous

Backstory: Zannah does not view Ben Solo's arc in the Star Wars sequel trilogy as acceptable canon. However, she does view the story she created for Flip Zimmerman in BlacKkKlansman as completely canon.

This is not the first time she has been asked to clarify her position. Nor is it the first time she has avoided giving an on-topic response. A question asked in good faith should be responded to in kind.

If a creator doesn't want to address the issue, they can state that they don't. Deflecting from the question only muddies the waters. Fans feel dismissed. The creator feels hounded, and comes across as irritated and unapproachable. No one has a positive fandom experience.

There is nothing wrong with having a headcanon. What is wrong is Zannah mandating her headcanon for Flip on the whole fandom. As evident in this post, if a fan does not comply with her headcanon, they will be summarily blocked.

Also, there is nothing wrong with rejecting canon. Writers of transformative works have always done this. The problem is shaming fans who have accepted canon while not offering justification for that shaming. A creator saying they "can't help them" is the creator washing their hands of responsibility from articulating their thoughts when they themselves began criticizing the canon in the first place.

Again, this is a bad-faith argument. Creators can't ask for discussion and attention and then get mad when their viewpoints are challenged. Just because a discussion isn't going a creator's way doesn't mean it's an attack, either. It means people want clarification, and if one criticizes, they should be able to back up their criticisms.

While sharing our stories has been freeing, it's not our aim as fellow fans to cancel Zannah. We would hope she would take the opportunity to reflect on the damage she has done to the fandom. We hope we all can move forward with a more approachable and supportive scene.

No one person speaks for our fandom. The actions of one fan do not represent the entire fandom. Whether creator or consumer, you are welcome here.

[posted July 25, 2020]

#babbushka #reader insert #flip zimmerman x reader #kylo ren x reader

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decayandfanfics · 3 years

Text

The great book of sayings

PAIRINGS: Tomura Shigaraki x FemReader

SUMMARY: He looks at you, his scarlet eyes fixed on yours, burning a hole through your head, every bit the predator he is, but you are as tough as it gets, so, against your better judgment and any well-founded logic, you answer his silent threat, the animalistic look he gives you with nothing less than a fearless smirk, irises burrowing into his pupils.A clever girl. He thinks, finally labeling you inside his head, cursing himself in the very moment he allows his brain to think of you as more than an asset. He is sure (he knows himself enough to know) he’ll think of this moment many times from now on.A clever pretty girl.

Reader is a typical college student until she gets herself tangled with the league of villains.

WARNINGS: Unhealthy/complicated relationships, violence, Tomura being Tomura, mentions of murder, heroes’ abuse of power, smut later.

A/N: I’m trying so hard to write crusty boy here really in character. At least after AfO is taken. Any misspelled words, english is not my native language so i’m trying Helen.

_________________________________________________________

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

It takes about ten seconds to screw up your whole life.

Well, in theory.

College is a monstruous violent thing that feeds on your happiness and lets you sharp and scrawny, both physically and mentally. Medical school was brutal, you knew it before even applying, though you didn’t think it would be this exhausting. But you are a responsible person above everything else, so you use your sharpness and the power machine that is your brain, forcing yourself to do it. So, here you are, four years into it, stress flowing through you like blood, embedded in your system like is normal. You are fine with it, at peace with your constant nail chewing and the tics in your brow. It is fine, you went completely insane in the meantime, but it was worth it.

You see, there are many ways of being a hero, and with a quirk like yours, it would be nothing but almost impossible to follow the traditional path, so you take a side path, another form of saving lives (the true form in your experience) and with a head like yours, becoming a doctor is the natural way. Thinking about finals, your succulents and rent, you walk the path that leads to your little apartment in a quiet part of the city when you hear the soft whimper behind the trash cans in an alleyway. It would be wise to keep walking, but you believe in helping others and curiosity it’s been a main trait since childhood, besides, the soft hum of your quirk sings inside your chest like a promise of safety, so you turn and get close to it, prudence before you take another step.

“is anybody here? I heard a cry” you keep walking, measuring the distance between you and the street in case you need to run back “do you need help?”

You see him. A young man, grabbing his head between his hands, his body clutched against the wall. “Sir, are you okay? Can I help you?”

“My head…I’m going to split! It’s me! It’s me! No! it’s not! I can’t!”

You look carefully around you, making sure no one else is watching, then your eyes flare with your quirk relaxing him softly, easing his tensed muscles as you get close.

“hey…what’s the matter? i want to help you.” You decide the best option is to put yourself to his level, before speaking sweetly, your activated quirk shining subtly red in the dark.

“My mask” he says with teared eyes “I lost my mask. I’m going to split without it.”

It some kind of psychotic episode, you know that much, but he seems to be harmless otherwise. Concluding that if dangerous he would already lash out, you decide to look for something in your backpack.

“Does this serve you?” you ask handing him a red beanie you keep with you in winter.

He takes it with trembling hands and covers his head completely with it.

“Oh…thanks. That’s better. I feel better now. Thank you, miss, thank you!”

“You have a name?”

“I’m Jin. My name is Jin.”

“You have a family, Jin? Someone to call? Maybe a home?”

“my…yes, i. I…my phone is dead. I need to call Toga-chan.”

The moment he stands you see it. A big bloody gash at his side in desperate need for some stitches.

“Omg…you are hurt. Careful. Let me help you. We need to take you to the hospital.”

“No. No! No! I cannot get caught; they’ll lock me up if…yes, they will, no they don’t, yes, they will!”

“okay, okay. No hospitals. But i need to see that injure. It looks awful.”

“It hurts, no it doesn’t. But, yes. It hurts.”

“Let me take care of it. I’m a doctor…I mean, I’m on it, but I can take care of your wound.”

You take him home, thinking that maybe he’s been hospitalized before. You know how psychiatric patients tend to be caged up when no one looks for them, often tied up to the beds, sedated so they don’t bother anyone. It is cruel and you don’t want that. Besides, he says something about his friend Toga, something about someone called Dabi and Compress, so you just assume he actually has someone to look over him.

That’s how Jin ends seated in your kitchen, eating some leftovers, freshly patched as his phone charges in a corner of your living room.

“thank you again…you’ve been so nice to me, yes you are.”

“is nothing. I’m glad I found you. That wound wasn’t deep, but it could get infected very easily.”

You let him stay the night, trusting in your gut and the power of your quirk to keep you safe. He seems thankful and kind. His ways are soft, a hint of naivety and simplicity when he speaks, so even when you stay careful, you really don’t think he’ll be a problem truly.

Next morning and after some phone calls, Jin says goodbye to you between tears and wholehearted thanks. Your beanie still in his head, two holes where the eyes should go.

You watch him go from your window, waving your hand and a smile plastered across your face, hoping he stays with someone who cares for him, because he’s clearly in a vulnerable state. A blond girl takes his hand rushing across the street, watching every direction before disappearing in a nearby alleyway, but you think nothing of it.

You thought nothing of it when you got a basket full of candy by your door.

You thought nothing of it when you heard your neighbor talking about a strange man waiting for someone in the main hall of the building.

You thought nothing of it when you receive a letter from Jin naming you a great good friend of his, saying he would be your friend forever.

That’s why you think it’s kinda your own fault when the entire group of homeless people makes its appearance at your door one night at two am in the middle of your well-deserved vacations. (a month after your little encounter with Jin.)

Fear shoots through you like a bullet so quickly you forget how to breathe the moment you see the hands and a bunch of costumes for clothing.

You’ve seen the tv, you know who they are, yet you just cannot fathom why the fuck are they standing outside your apartment, covered in dirt, starving and distressed; at least, not until you hear his voice again.

“Hello! I know this is unexpected, but you are my friend! Look, Shigaraki! She is the one who helped me when I was about to split! The doctor one. She was so good to me! Is my friend! Could you help us, please? I know it’s late, but please.”

You are livid.

Jin Is no other than Twice.

This is no other than the League of fucking Villains.

Chapter 2

#shigaraki x reader #bnha fanfiction #shigaraki tomura #mha shigaraki #shigaraki x you

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ad1thi · 3 years

Note

henlo adi tis i with a request for some stevetony fics,,, angsty if you have 'em 💓

okay so this rec list is mainly classic stevetony fics, but i assure you - there’s angsty ones in there (ive marked the angsty ones with a 😞 so you can identify them quicker) just a general note that a lot of authors are going to repeat, because there are some authors that (imo) are stevetony staples (so if you see an author more than once - thats a sign that ALL of their stevetony is good and ive cherry picked the ones i love the most) (ive also marked those authors with a 🌟)

in the light of limerence: @shell-heads

It's the final game of the season, their biggest one yet, and there's only one question on everybody's mind: who the hell is Captain Steve Rogers' boyfriend, and why does Cap keep dodging questions about him?

"You gotta admit it's suspicious that only Bucky and Sam have met your boyfriend, dude," Clint points out as he shoves Pietro away with a smirk, pulling the uniform over his head and tugging it down. "We've known you, what-two years? We've never seen the guy even once."

"And your phone mysteriously only has pictures of Tony Stark," Johnny Storm adds as he joins the conversation, knocking knees with Thor when he sits down on one of the benches. "Tony Stark, who has at least ten fansites and personally assured me he's had a boyfriend for the past five years."

"I can't believe Cap is actually out here acting like Tony Stark's boyfriend," Luke says with a smirk, resting against a wall without a care.

"I can't believe you guys still think this is a joke," Sam throws back while tossing his other dirty sock at Luke, who dodges it smoothly.

In little more than ten minutes, the biggest question of Shield University is answered with much aplomb by none other than Tony Stark himself.

almeno tu nell'universo: @silkspectred 😞 🌟 (funfact: this is the fic that got me into stevetony)

Tony drives off.

Well, he wants to.

But he can’t.

Because.

Steve Rogers is in front of his car.

Steve fucking Rogers. Is in front of Tony’s fucking car.

Rookie and Jailbait Take On The World: @theapplepielifestyle 🌟

“You really should be in school, you know.”

“Why would I be there when I could be here, solving crimes with my favourite rookie?” Tony flashes a grin, and Steve’s stomach twists like it did on the first day.

Teenager, Steve’s mind supplies. Definitely not legal, stop doing fluttery things, stomach.

Thumb, Index and Pinky Extended: @/Eudoxia 😞

Tony Stark is twenty-one when he loses his voice. It shouldn't matter, but in a world where the first words your Soulmate says to you are marked on your skin, it can be pretty damn annoying.

I (created from fantasies) exist solely for you: @mizzy2k

Six years ago, without the Avengers Initiative there to save the day, scientist Dr. Eric Selvig sacrificed himself to save the world, the almighty demi-god Thor was lost to a terrible storm, and vigilante Iron Man – spotted with a nuclear weapon trying to take advantage of the situation – was forever labelled an enemy of SHIELD.

This is a comic book office AU, where Steve is defrosted a year too late, Thor has forgotten who he is, and no one knows Tony is Iron Man.

Also includes: office pranks, inappropriate post-it notes, and superheroes who like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Celestial Navigation: @sabrecmc

Celestial Navigation: 18 year old Omega!Tony finds himself Bonded to Captain Steve Rogers. He isn't happy about it until he is.

By request, here is CN in one place without other stories and artwork.

Ironsides: @copperbadge 🌟

Antonia Carter Stark takes no shit and no prisoners.

Paved With Good Intentions (I’m On The Road To Hell): @itsallavengers 😞 🌟

When the mysterious group of vigilante assassins known only as 'The Avengers' are tipped off about the dirty secrets that lie within Stark Industries, Steve Rogers has his heart set on taking out Tony Stark for good in order to protect the rest of the world from his evil. He's seen the footage, after all- Stark is a man who fights only for himself. And of course, when a job arises as chief bodyguard for Stark, to protect him from the growing threat of an ominously infatuated stalker, the opportunity is way too good for him to miss out on. It's the perfect placement, and the perfect way to find out whether or not their tipoff is genuine.

But as Steve falls into rank as the new bodyguard for Mr. Stark and he spends time getting to know and protect him, his initial hatred begins to falter and merge into something different, something far more terrifying than the prospect of killing the face of Stark Industries.

Steve Rogers may just be falling in love with him instead.

The Problem With Communication: @itsallavengers

Steve is terrible at flirting, but when he finally picks up the courage to talk to the adorable barista who makes his drinks, he finds himself hitting a small snag:

That being, Tony is deaf. He doesn't know what Steve is saying.

But never say Steve Rogers does not rise to a challenge.

Killing Me Softly (With His Song): @itsallavengers

Steve is Tony's whole world. Tony couldn't imagine life without him. They've grown up together, after all.

Steve gets cancer.

Open Field In Front of Him: orphan account

Steve Rogers's football season is functionally over after a loss to Rutgers, but he finds a distraction in Tony Stark (yes, THAT Tony Stark). A college AU Stony fic.

Good For You: @orbingarrow 😞

Steve doesn't understand why Tony dates people who abuse him. Tony doesn't understand why Steve cares.

The rest is bad choices, good choices, rehab, milkshakes, paintball, YouTube videos, couples therapy and learning to put the past in the past. Or: How Tony finds his happy ending.

COMPLETE 5/27/16 Edited to add art as last chapter on 6/23/16

Wrapped Up In Clover: @festiveferret

It's been seven years since Steve and Tony split up, and Steve's sure he'll never see Tony again. He's finally managed to put their failed relationship behind him and move on, focusing on his friends and building his business. But then his best friends, Bucky and Clint, decide to get married, and their wedding week at a cabin resort in Vermont turns into a minefield of heartbreak for Steve.

little green soldiers: @/nasa 🌟

“Rhodey,” Tony says. “I’m not stupid. He’s shipping out in three months. I’m not going to fall in love with him.”

Tony is a student at MIT; Steve is a soldier. They meet at a house party six months before Steve is set to deploy. This is their story.

flesh and bone: @/nasa 😞

“You or Rogers?” they ask, brandishing a knife or a gun or a flame.

“Me,” Tony says, over and over again. “Me, me, me,” always me.

Buried: @not-close-to-straight

When Howard Stark demands Tony work at a dig site in S.America one summer to "build character" and "learn about life", Tony is furious. But then he meets soldier/archeologist Steve and falls in love with blue eyes and a perfect smile.

Just as they are ready to move forward together, Steve leaves abruptly with no explanation and breaks Tonys heart. Ten years later, Tony stumbles across the file for the old dig site. He's determined to visit and shut it down, but discovers that instead of a village, the dig has uncovered a temple and actually needs MORE money to stay open. A security team is hired to protect the staff and the artefacts they find, and Tony comes face to face with Steve Rogers all over again– except Steve is bearded and BIGGER and way more dangerous than he used to be...And Tony likes it.

When the camp is attacked, Steve jumps into action, snatching Tony and running into the jungle to escape and work their way towards safety. But long days and nights together bring back old feelings, and one day Steve takes a risk and asks Tony to give them another chance. Will Tony say yes? Or is his heart buried too far for the soldier-turned- archaeologist-turned-mercenary to find it?

don’t know why it took me so long to see: @3799steps

“Oh, watch this,” Natasha says, propping her chin against her knuckles and turning a sweet gaze on him. “Tony, what’s it like dating a superhero?”

Tony bristles in irritation. “We’re not dating,” he snaps. “Captain America probably thinks he can get into anyone’s pants just ‘cause he’s got a mask, costume, and reputation, but not me, buddy. That shield? Gotta be overcompensating for something.” He adds, a bit petulantly, “Oh, and all that blue? Definitely more Steve’s color than his.”

- In which Tony is a genius in all matters except recognising his boyfriend past a mask

Heartlines: @nanasekei 🌟

“Let me,” Tony repeats. He regrets it deeply, so much, he wants to stick the words back into his mouth again, and it must show, in the way his voice wavers. He feels exposed, all of a sudden, as if he’s asking something bigger than what he can actually say. Let me touch you, let me take care of you. “Just… Let me do it.“

Feel Whole Again: @thepartyresponsible

Steve turns to leave. It’s easier to talk, somehow, when he’s not looking at him. “If you need anything,” he says, “I’m just a few floors down.”

“Might regret that, Cap,” Tony says to his retreating back. “I’ve been told I’m needy.”

Steve doesn’t know who the hell said that to Tony. It’s probably for the best that he doesn’t.

“It’s an honor,” he says, a little helpless, out of his depth and out of his time. “It’s an honor to be trusted with something like that, Tony.”

Attack Dog: @/salytierra

Steve doesn't swim in self-delusion. He knows that he is sick and that his owner is even worse. He is aware of it every time he rips some nameless guy’s throat out and feels the crunch of bones under his fingers. He is aware of it every time the rush of adrenaline at seeing life slip away from a stranger’s eyes hits him and gets him bothered and panting in ways that have nothing to do with physical exhaustion.

But it feels so good…

His owner’s approach is less personal. His shots fall clean and take out several foes at a time, his figure elegant and so graceful he looks like a god among savages. He is power incarnated, cold and burning like a sun at the same time… and Steve tries not to focus on him when they are fighting together, least his knees go weak and his technique falters. It’s fine though. They will go home afterwards and his owner will fuck him on the hard floor, with most of their gear still on and a vicious grip in his hair.

#adi's rec list #stevetony #superhusbands #steve rogers/tony stark #stevetony staples #OKAY this is like 20 fics long #so im going to make a second post #and the second post will have more #but have these for now :)))#adi answers asks #rhodee

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piduai · 3 years

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Tsurumi would have been a better father than Wilk

tsurumi is a controlling, manipulative bastard whose primary hobby is gaslighting his subordinates and keeping them in line 🤭 sure he'd probably be different with his flesh and blood, as in less distant and more personally involved, but the road to hell is oftentimes paved with good intentions. all wilk did he did with asirpa's wellbeing in mind too, yet his parenting methods were Questionable at best. tsurumi was never an angel, did he love his wife and kid? sure. did he still marry a woman under a false name, while being on a governmental mission, potentially putting her - and her extended family's, russian government wouldn't be kind to those in cahoots with a foreign spy! - life in danger? also yes. didn't end well for her. even if tsurumi was the closest to his unmasked self as hasegawa, so far there is nobody in the story with whom he interacted completely unmasked. what i'm saying is that he was dodgy at best as his family man self too, and being controlling and manipulative aren't traits that spur in the heat of the moment when someone claims their villain origin story, he's probably been a sly little shit for most of his life lol. wouldn't change if you gave him untethered access to a whole ass new human he can fully claim as HIS, have control over, and feel responsibility towards. he's been projecting a paternal concern on all the young people he's met so far, and he's been delightfully toxic to all of them.

not that i think he'd be as unhinged as wilk and set 26 dangerous criminals free in hopes that his tiny daughter will find a way to murder and skin them, i think their parenting methods would be very different. wilk's more of a "i need to put my child through rigorous training and incredible hardship so she can become strong and be able to stand for herself, i'm projecting my values on her and fully expect her to embrace them without question, but i also want her to come to embracing them on her own somehow. beating on iron makes it sturdier". while tsurumi strikes me more as a "i'm an absolute authority in my child's life, i know what's best for her, and i will do anything in my power to give her a good life, but i will do it all by myself. my love and care is everything she needs, so in turn she owes me absolute obedience and adoration". they're both awful in their own, special ways <3

#this was supposed to be a 2 line reply why am i like this besties #anon

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joannalannister · 4 years

Text

Anonymous asked:

My problem with lyanna is not that she didn't want to marry Robert but her having feelings for rhaegar she talk to ned about wanting a faithful husband but doesn't seem to care about elia the fact that lyanna had a crush on him when he given her the flowers she saw how all the smiles died and am sure her father also had a talk with her after it happened its wrong for Robert but her rhaegar her been young still does not change anything so she would be happy been a mistress

Hey me again so about her being with rhaegar did she accept him to only sleep and be with him as she doesn't like sharing so she would leave elia to share a bed by herself how is alone 24 of course rhaegar is the problem but I am focusing on lyanna because I can't understand her and would she settle being a mistress and her child be a bastard or second best either way I can see her been that stupid not to know and when even she or rhaegar said about elia can't make either of them look good

Aegon the unworthy marriage his mistress even when he was still married but the marriage was illegal and no one saw as a real marriage so why when as saying if he did marry lyanna why would their marriage be valid I think if there was ever a marriage between them I feel lyanna would be the one to ask but rhaegar had to know that their marriage was not valid and in the end she was at best a mistress I feel like he might of lied to her to get her to sleep with her your thoughts

It is not my intent to offend. However, you asked for my thoughts, and I think there are a lot of assumptions being made here that are so completely at odds with my own that I cannot even address your concerns, because they are all so far away from everything I imagine.

Without another book, we are all working off assumptions, of course, but my own assumptions run as follows:

1) Lyanna was unhappy with the idea of an arranged marriage. Her objection was marriage. Any marriage. Something kind of like Eowyn:

“What do you fear, lady?" [Aragorn] asked. "A cage," [Éowyn] said. "To stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.”

But I personally do not think Rhaegar was Lyanna’s Faramir. (I do not think Lyanna has a Faramir-character in her story, just as Cersei largely lacks a Lord MacBeth.)

For this passage:

Ned let him prattle on. After a time, he quieted and they rode in silence. The streets of King's Landing were dark and deserted. The rain had driven everyone under their roofs. It beat down on Ned's head, warm as blood and relentless as old guilts. Fat drops of water ran down his face.

"Robert will never keep to one bed," Lyanna had told him at Winterfell, on the night long ago when their father had promised her hand to the young Lord of Storm's End. "I hear he has gotten a child on some girl in the Vale." Ned had held the babe in his arms; he could scarcely deny her, nor would he lie to his sister, but he had assured her that what Robert did before their betrothal was of no matter, that he was a good man and true who would love her with all his heart. Lyanna had only smiled. "Love is sweet, dearest Ned, but it cannot change a man's nature."

I do not think this passage is about Lyanna or her desires.

I think this passage is about Lyanna attempting to disillusion Young Ned, to try to explain to him that there isn’t going to be some wonderful happy Stark-Baratheon family after she is forced to wed Robert.

Remember, Robert and Ned loved each other as brothers. Look at the passage up above; it’s about Ned’s “old guilts” and about how he “had assured [Lyanna] that what Robert did before their betrothal was of no matter, that he was a good man and true who would love her with all his heart.” Young!Ned was into it!! He was into the idea of this marriage! Robert, his brother, at last, in truth!

Ned was blinded by his love for Robert.

Don’t you see that double-meaning to that last line, hanging there at the end? “Love is sweet, dearest Ned, but it cannot change a man’s nature.” It’s the line that haunts Ned’s memory, as well as our own. Love couldn’t change Robert’s nature. Love could not change Ned’s nature either.

It was Ned’s nature to defend Robert so loyally, because Ned loved him. Ned could have said something to his father Rickard, could have said that Robert would shame Lyanna after they wed, could have maybe stopped this marriage that Lyanna objected to.

But he didn’t. He didn’t speak out. Hence his “old guilts” beating down on him relentlessly.

Would Lyanna find it nice to have a husband who doesn’t cheat on her? Probably, I don’t think that’s a stretch.

Would Lyanna find it even nicer not to have any husband at all? To “be a king's councillor and build castles and become the High Septon?” To do those great deeds Eowyn and Arya long for? To not be locked in a cage, until use and old age accept it?

Fuck yeah.

"Ah, Arya. You have a wildness in you, child. 'The wolf blood,' my father used to call it. Lyanna had a touch of it”

2) I have not read a passage in the books that speaks definitively to me about Lyanna’s feelings for or about Rhaegar. Until I do so, I will continue to assume that Lyanna viewed Rhaegar as an escape rather than as a potential suitor. I believe Lyanna went with Rhaegar willingly, but I do not believe that she stayed with Rhaegar willingly.

3) Personally, when I read “all the smiles died” -- well, I take “all” to mean “all,” and “all” includes Lyanna, so I assume that Lyanna was not happy with the way Rhaegar chose to honor her at the tourney, when he shamed his wife Elia.

When Lyanna presumably ran away with Rhaegar, I do not think she was thinking about how her actions would affect Elia, because I don’t think Lyanna believed she was doing something that would negatively impact Elia. I think Lyanna believed the Crown Prince was using his position to simply help her escape her marriage to Robert. Perhaps he would let her be one of his knights! He had honored her for her bravery regarding Howland Reed, hadn’t he? She could ride with him and all the other young knights in the charming prince’s retinue! How exciting! Is this naive? Yes. But Lyanna was a child; children are naive by definition. If we are apportioning blame, I think Rhaegar takes the lion’s share for this whole situation.

4) With the return of winter after the False Spring, I believe Rhaegar believed that the apocalypse was imminent, and that he was doing What Must Be Done to save the world. I think that, most of the time, Rhaegar was not a terrible person, but I think that Rhaegar was going to do Whatever It Took to save the world, and I think Rhaegar’s definition of “Whatever It Took” included even things like rape. (Note that Westeros probably wouldn’t define it as rape, because a medieval woman’s consent, once given, is given forever (which is fuuuucked up). But we’re readers in the 21st century, so I’m going to call it rape when we have this relationship of dubious consent between a minor and an adult with infinite power over her.)

5) I personally do not believe that Rhaegar and Lyanna got married in the books. I believe that Jon is a bastard, just not Ned’s bastard, and part of Jon’s story arc is coming to terms with his illegitimacy and realizing that it is not a stain or a sin or whatever, and that he is still capable of great heroism. GRRM has set up so many preconceived Westerosi notions about the horror of bastardy in the books that I think he is itching to undercut them with one of his major protagonists being both a bastard and a great hero.

Furthermore, I do not believe that GRRM would undercut his heroine Daenerys like that. I believe that Daenerys must choose to relinquish the throne, not have it ripped out from under her by a cheap technicality of the patriarchy.

(I am asking nicely: please do not comment or speak to me if you do not believe that Daenerys is a hero in the books. I simply do not have time for that in my life. So, I am asking nicely: please cut me out of your life and do not read my blog if you do not think of Daenerys as a hero in the books. )

I also don’t believe that Rhaegar thought he had time for a marriage. Again, impending apocalypse.

And what faith were they married in, if it happened? Did they say the words at the God’s Eye, before a heart tree? Did Rhaegar convert? Did Rhaegar hire a septon? Why would Lyanna put any stock in a marriage by a septon? Did she convert? Why would a septon condone polygamy without fire breathing monsters to back it up? Was Rhaegar the kind of person to hold a knife to a septon’s throat and demand a marriage or else? I don’t think so! But how would this marriage even come about?? Where did Rhaegar even find time to fuss over these details? And if he couldn’t fuss over the details, what kind of wedding planner did he hire? What do you think Westerosi wedding planning agencies are like, and do you think the Lannisters used the same one, considering their targ aspirations???

I think Rhaegar was running to Dorne for all he was worth, to set up a fortress / base camp where he could allow Lyanna’s child (and Elia’s children when he could fetch them) to grow up to become the saviors of the world.

Rhaegar just had to deal with a tiny rebellion and a slightly, every-so-slightly unhinged father and then everything would go according to plan! /sarcasm

I don’t think Rhaegar was *deliberately* doing terrible things like abandoning his wife and children, I don’t think Rhaegar ever *meant* to hold Lyanna against her will in a tower in a land far from her home, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

I think there is a lesson in Rhaegar’s story, that Rhaegar was doing everything for the wrong reasons. Which is very Tragic. He was saving the world because a book told him he had to, and he was going to sacrifice various people to do it. (Which is wrong. Wrong. The only person you get to sacrifice is yourself.)

Whereas Rhaegar’s son Jon ... I think Jon chooses to save the world because it’s something Jon feels in his soul as right and noble and honorable, something worthy of a son -- even an adopted son!! -- of Ned Stark. I think Jon chooses to save the world because he has lived in the world and is a part of it, in a way that Rhaegar never was, Rhaegar with his sad songs at ghostly Summerhall.

I believe that agency is an important theme throughout the books, whether it’s Daenerys finding herself on the Dothraki Sea or Cersei taking back control of her own body or Tyrion saying fuck you to his father or Jon eventually choosing to save the world ... and I think Lyanna’s story is in keeping with this theme, that her story is about her trying to find her agency.

The tragedy of her story is that she -- unwittingly, imo -- traded Robert’s cage for Rhaegar’s, and she died there. She became entangled in Rhaegar’s story, a story in which he chooses to jettison his frankly massive amount of agency -- the books and scrolls told him This All Must Happen! And It All Must Happen Right Now, With Utmost Urgency! -- and it’s terribly, terribly sad, and I feel sad for everyone involved.

Now, I could be very wrong and you could be very right, anon, depending on what direction GRRM chooses to take his characters. But I cannot speculate on your specific concerns without new textual evidence indicating to me that your concerns are something to concern me.

Again, it is truly not my desire to offend with this post. These are just my opinions, and I am very fond of both Rhaegar and Lyanna as characters, I find them both fascinating and I hope we learn more about them. I actually like the ship in a chivalric, Capital-R-Romantic way that’s basically divorced from my understanding of ASOIAF. (I really like Rhaegar x Elia too!)

If you would like to read more of my thoughts, I recommend you go through my lyanna stark tag, because there’s lots and lots of meta posts in there giving my thoughts in great detail, there’s fics I wrote explaining my ideas in fic rather than essay format, everything. So please go there.

#lannister thoughts #/#if i mention incest will this stay out of the tags?#lyanna stark #rhaegar targaryen #rape tw #Ned stark #robert baratheon

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scarcrossedheartdust · 3 years

Text

A Madness Shared By Two Siren Battle

Spoilers for A Madness Shared By Two. Under the cut TW for self harm mentions and blood

A haunting song filled the night air as most people slept. Brown eyes opened and without a second glance to the sleeping form next to him he started to head to the sound. It belonged to a red headed woman standing by the lake. "Hello Petey."

"Such a good boy Petey coming out here to see me. Although it pains me to know you're married now you won't be for long you'll be here with me. "

"Over my re-dead body bitch! Get your slutty hands the fuck away from him!" Her blue eyes looked and was met with a pair of icy blue eyes that didn't look too happy about being awake.

"Patrick?! You're supposed to be dead!"

"I am and I'm going to prove to you my song is stronger than yours!"

"So you really wanna battle a siren Pattycakes? You know what will happen and then Petey will be mine anyways."

"Don't call me that and don't call him that. I'm going to win this or die trying."

“You? You never liked to sing you’re too shy and you probably can’t sing but go ahead try.”

The both of them started belting out Hallelujah. Pete’s brown eyes were glazed over still and in his minds eye he saw blue eyes but who they belonged to he couldn’t quite place….

Halfway through Patrick’s knees started to wobble and fell down starting to vomit. “Give it up Pat you can’t beat a siren I don’t know how you’re back but I was the one that convinced Gerard to kill you so I COULD have Pete.”

Blue eyes flickered yellow before lighting up in angelic blue/white glow. “You just signed your own death certificate.” Wiping his mouth on the back of his hand Patrick started to sing again…although the song was different.

“It's all a game of this or that, now versus then

Better off against worse for wear

And you're someone who knows someone who knows someone I once knew

And I just want to be a part of this

The road outside my house is paved with good intentions

Hired a construction crew 'cause it's hell on the engine

And you are the dreamer and we are the dream

I could write it better than you ever felt it”

Pete’s hands started to twitch the image behind his minds eye started to develop. He still saw blue eyes but the red hair was fading and turning more strawberry blonde..

“So hum hallelujah, just off the key of reason

I thought I loved you, but it was just how you looked in the light

A teenage vow in a parking lot, 'til tonight do us part

I sing the blues and swallow them too”

Pete was still by Ashlee’s side and she was singing too. Patrick knew battling a siren could make him sick..but he didn’t care this was for Pete the only anchor to this life he had…besides the kids which he wouldn’t have if not for Pete.

“My words are my faith, to hell with our good name

A remix of your guts, your insides x-rayed

And one day we'll get nostalgic for disaster

We're a bull, your ears are just a china shop

I love you in the same way, there's a chapel in a hospital

One foot in your bedroom and one foot out the door

Sometimes we take chances, sometimes we take pills

I could write it better than you ever felt it”

Patrick looked at Pete and he was still next to the skank. Patrick could feel the vomit rising in his throat again but yet he still sang..hoping the next part would get his husband back.

“Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelu-

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelu-

(Hum hallelujah, hum hallelujah, hum hallelujah, hum hallelujah)

A teenage vow in a parking lot, 'til tonight do us part

I sing the blues and swallow them too”

After the last line Patrick was keeled over in the bushes vomiting again. Gods it was worse than morning sickness he had with all the kids (well maybe not the twins) put together. When he felt a hand on his back he looked up and baby blues met wide eyed browns.

“Trick? You okay?”

“Yes and no.. I feel like shit but..you’re here. So that’s a plus.”

“HOW HOW COULD YOU CHOSE HIM OVER ME?! HE’S FAT AND UGLY! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MINE PETE!” She fired an energy orb at the pair and Patrick’s eyes widened in his current state there wasn’t much he could do…

Before the energy orb could hit them an energy beam countered it. “Don’t you EVER EVER call him fat and ugly again. He’s perfect in every way. Selfless,beautiful and overall a perfect pure creature. He’s a lot stronger than you and he held back. He held back because he knows I don’t like to see him get consumed by his rage.” One of Pete’s arms was around Patrick the other outstretched where he had fired the energy beam from.

“Come on Petey come back to me.” She started her siren song again and once again brown eyes started to glaze over. Patrick pale and blue eyes lacking their normal fire stood up.

“Really we’re doing this again? I beat you once I’ll do it again!”

“You can’t beat a siren..Tricky.”

“Watch me. “ Again he took a breath and shakily started to sing.

“Don't panic

No, not yet

I know I'm the one you want to forget

Cue all the love to leave my heart

It's time for me to fall apart

Now you're gone

But I'll be okay

Your hot whisky eyes

Have fanned the flames

Maybe I'll burn a little brighter tonight

Let the fire breathe me back to life

Baby, you were my picket fence

I miss missing you now and then

Chlorine kissed summer skin

I miss missing you now and then

Sometimes before it gets better

The darkness gets bigger

The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger

Oh, we're fading fast

I miss missing you now and then”

He wobbled and looked over at Pete whose eyes snapped back to normal at the sad melody. This was what Patrick and Pete always sang to each other when the other down.

“Making eyes at this husk around my heart

I see through you when we're sitting in the dark

So give me your filth

Make it rough

Let me, let me trash your love

I will sing to you every day

If it will take away the pain

Oh and I've heard you got it, got it so bad

'Cause HE IS the best you'll never have

Baby, you were my picket fence

I miss missing you now and then

Chlorine kissed summer skin

I miss missing you now and then

Sometimes before it gets better

The darkness gets bigger

The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger

Oh, we're fading fast

I miss missing you now and then“

Tears pricked at the corner of Patrick’s eyes as he finally started to collapse forward. He would’ve hit the ground if Pete hadn’t dashed forward to catch him. “Okay that’s it we’re done here. Stop trying to lure me away from him…he needs me and I need him. We’re soulmates you stupid cunt. You could’ve asked me out in school but you didn’t you were a bitch then and you’re a bigger bitch now. Having a pretty face and voice doesn’t mean you can lure anyone in. Patrick’s got a PRETTIER face and ANGELIC voice and he doesn’t need it to seduce me. He does that by being himself.”

From Pete’s arms Patrick groaned. “Shut up..I do not.”

With a fast shimmer they were back home and Pete carried Patrick up the stairs. “Pete..baby you don’t have to do this I can walk.”

“Nope absolutely not you exhausted yourself in that battle.”

“I absolutely did not.”

“You’re being stubborn and won’t admit it.”

Patrick pouted but didn’t protest when Pete laid him down in the bed especially when he laid next to him.

“Now lets go back to sleep especially since I know how much you hate being up early.”

A kiss to his nose and a low grumble that sounded like shut up as Patrick snuggled into his arms.

Patrick wasn’t sure how long he was asleep for when he heard it…the haunting siren call. Blue eyes glazed over as he untangled himself from Pete and slowly started to head towards the source of the noise.

Pete was a much lighter sleeper than his husband and felt him get up. He assumed maybe Patrick was going to the bathroom or maybe to check on Mycah. But either way he shouldn’t be walking alone..he was still weak from his battle with the siren. And that’s when Pete could just faintly hear it….that bitch was going after Patrick..

When Pete had found them Ashlee was singing by her lake and Patrick…Patrick was crucified against the tree..blue-silver blood dripping from his wrists and his head hanging down against his chest. “WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK DID YOU DO TO HIM?”

“Who says I did it darling? I’m just singing my song..for a lonely broken heart…yours.”

“My heart isn’t broken..its filled with rage that I’m going to kill yo—“ He was cut off by Patrick’s shrill screech as she sliced her nails down his arm causing more of the blue-silver blood to flow.

“Come on Petey you’re a vampire aren’t you and this one..he’s the head white angel how tempting that must be for you. I promise I’ll take care of you just come kill him like a good vampire.”

Vampires were naturally drawn to white angel blood it was like catnip to a cat to them. Patrick wasn’t just a white angel..he was the head white angel so his scent was one million times more alluring than any of his followers. Throw in that Patrick was well Pete’s other half and it was infinity more times alluring than any scent in the world. Pete’s eyes flashed red and his fangs extended. He ended up biting his own hand first. “I won’t hurt him… I hate drinking his blood. Leave him alone…I’ll go with you.”

“Pete…no..” Patrick’s eyes were becoming more focused and the cuts on him had vanished. Pete didn’t know his husband could heal without using his hands. He did however know how strong Patrick was so he wasn’t surprised to see him break free of his binds once his cuts were healed. “I can beat her I just need the energy…I need you.”

“You’ve tried Tricky and you failed. You gave in so NICELY when I was torturing you earlier.”

Patrick frowned as he saw what had transpired before Pete got there.

“You came I didn’t think I could lure a celestial being such as you..usually it’s creatures of the night. We’re going to have some fun before I kill you.”

Next thing Patrick knew he was crucified against the tree tight wire digging into his wrist causing the blood to start dripping. The pain was excruciating and it reminded Patrick of his past..his dark past that almost cost him Pete.

“Thinking of him? Don’t worry he’ll come then he’ll be mine.”

“I don’t care what you do to me…leave him alone.”

“Whats on your mind Tricky? Mean little ole me could fuck your mind better than Gerard ever could..or what about your dear old parents?”

Instantly Patrick froze and went completely rigid. Memories of curling in the corner hiding while adults screamed saying magic was make believe and to grow up to be a real man not some fag waving a wand flashed into his head. Pale white hands covered his ears and he started to rock back and forth.

Pete was at a loss..he had never seen Patrick like this…what did this devil woman do to him? “WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?”

“Nothing..yet he’s weak Petey how can you expect him to protect you?”

“I don’t need him to protect me! Leave him alone!”

“Why? You’re going to kill him.” With a few words a wall of water rose up and lifted Patrick in the air before freezing so it imprisoned him. Ashlee hopped up to him cutting his shirt down with her nails and then dragging her nails over his right shoulder where the tattoo of Pete’s name was. Blue eyes opened wide and he started to scream again thrashing against his icy binds as the ice dug into him and more blood started to pour out of previously healed wounds.

Pete followed her because he needed to wake Patrick up there was no way he could win this fight alone.“Patrick! Patrick wake up I’m here…I’m right here Trick… and I am so so so sorry.”

“He can’t hear you. As far as he knows he’s this scared little teenager again that was hopelessly in love with his best friend that was just out of his reach. So since that’s true..I’ll make sure to erase his memory of you permanently.” She finally reached down to his left hand where streaks of blue-silver blood trailed and almost helped lubricate his ring finger allowing her to pull off the silver band.

When Pete saw her remove Patrick’s wedding band the bloodlust in his subsided but the anger rose to a fever pitch. He would never forget the day him and Patrick got married. Bathed in the warm glow of Patrick’s angel palace a place that Pete by all regards didn’t belong. But Patrick was firm and said for the light to exist it needed a little dark. That was what was engraved on those wedding bands. Alongside the date and a brief signature. He remembered dipping Patrick all the way down to kiss him in front of all their friends and how Patrick despite turning a beautiful shade of pink (it clashed with the all white that he was wearing) allowed it and even was the one to attempt to deepen it. The way they had waltzed around to their wedding song was magical.

Pete was at a loss. He didn’t know how to save Patrick. If roles were reversed Patrick would’ve had him safely in his arms by now.Even when Pete was named head vampire Patrick didn’t bat an eyelash about going to the vampire kingdom with him for the coronation ceremony.Even though it put him in extreme danger given how attractive a white angel’s blood was to a vampire. But no Patrick this pure and beautiful selfless creature walked confidently hand in hand with Pete and smiled when Pete was told it was him, he was the new head vampire. At that moment he finally felt worthy of Patrick. Even though he was older than Patrick he always felt like Patrick was out of reach, he was smart, he was strong and he could command the white angel army easier than he could fall asleep. Pete sought out Patrick’s advice about ruling a species and Patrick just shrugged and gave him that smile with those blue eyes. “Just be yourself.”

Ashlee had raised the prison even higher and sent a wall of water crashing into Pete knocking him back down to the ground.Fists clenched after looking down his left wrist where Patrick’s name was inked into his skin forever. Using his super ability to jump fifty feet in the air he landed on the ice prison where Ashlee was still clawing her nails into Patrick who wasn’t screaming anymore and was just staring straight ahead like he was…oh god he couldn’t be.

“Get your fucking disgusting hands off him and I won’t punch you hard enough to make your ancestors feel it.”

“Awe but Petey….I’ll comfort you..sorry for the loss of your sweet sweet husband but face it. He was a little geek and you two just didn’t fit together. You’re better off without him—“ The punch when it came was hard and Pete felt like he was borderline going feral. “Give me his wedding band RIGHT NOW OR I’LL TEAR YOU APART PIECE BY PIECE.”

The next bunch of events happened so fast it was a blur. The two of them were wrestling and Pete had to admit she was strong considering his super human strength. Dear gods Patrick couldn’t really be dead could he?

Her sharp claws dug down his arms and he screamed at the pain and slashed at her with his own claws.

“Ice carcerem!” Now Ashlee was imprisoned in an ice prison just like she had done to Patrick and Pete was grateful he remembered a few spells from his school days.

“Now I am going to tear you apart limb by limb. You’ll pay for what you did to him. I don’t know how to destroy a siren but I’ll figure it out!”

“You? You were too busy banging Gabe to pay attention how did you ever pass scho—“

Pete wondered what made her stop talking even as he pressed his hand to skin trying to stop the bleeding. If he had fed he’d be self healing but he hadn’t eaten in awhile.

“Oh, the things that you do in the name of what you love

You were doomed but just enough

If you were church, whoo

I'd get on my knees, yeah

Confess my love, I'd know where to be

My sanctuary, you're holy to me

If you were church, yeah, I'd get on my knees

I love the world but I just don't love the way it makes me feel

Got a few more fake friends

And it's getting hard to know what's real

And if death is the last appointment

Then we're all just sitting in the waiting room

I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom”’

Pete heard the haunting melody and it was a call like another siren…dear gods Ashlee was bad enough.

“I didn’t know there was another siren nearby…but still they can’t have you. I claimed you first Petey..” She started to wail as the mystery siren’s song changed to something darker…

“All the writers keep writing what they write

Somewhere another pretty vein just dies

I've got the scars from tomorrow and I wish you could see

That you're the antidote to everything except for me

A constellation of tears on your lashes

Burn everything you love

Then burn the ashes

In the end everything collides

My childhood spat back the monster that you see

My songs know what you did in the dark

So light em up…ignis anguis!”

That last bit was not a song..it was a spell..a spell Pete remembered being cast the year they all got snowed in at the magic school. The fire snake wrapped slowly around Ashlee’s ankles. Her ice prison was melting and the collision of heat and steam made it hard to see.

Pete sighed softly and just started to sing softly trying to comfort himself for dealing with the after math of this battle.

“The tombstones are waiting

They were half engraved

They knew it was over”

Pete didn’t know how he was supposed to deal with losing Patrick again…

“Just didn't know the date”

He jumped about ten feet in the air when he heard someone singing with him.Was it the siren that had helped him? Were there good sirens? Maybe this one didn’t attract married men…so maybe Pete was safe, for the moment.

“And I cast a spell over the West

To make you think of me

The same way I think of you

This is a love song in my own way

Happily ever after below the waist”

And now the siren’s voice sounded familiar and Pete slapped himself. It wasn’t a siren’s voice it was an angel’s voice…his angel’s voice and he barely had time to process that when he felt lips on his.

“How did you get out of that mess? I thought you were dead!” Not caring about covering each other in their own blood the pair found themselves in a vice grip hug. “We’re connected love as long as you live I’ll find a way back to you. Plus well I can heal myself you know. Now then.”

Pete watched as Patrick stood up and faced Ashlee. Despite being tortured he stood strong. “I believe you have my wedding band give it back and maybe I’ll remove the flames. Tell me Ashlee am I more than you bargained for yet?”

“Hey Trick? I’m glad you’re okay but I can’t get my arm to stop bleeding think you could?”

“Oh God…I’m sorry Pete..but I’m not going to heal you. You’re going to heal yourself.”

“You know I can’t…OH!”

Brown met blue (although Patrick’s eyes were more green from using his angelic siren powers) and Pete saw Patrick’s plush pink lips curve into a smirk. He walked behind his husband and held him by his waist nuzzling into his neck. “I still feel bad…”

“Sush and just bite me.”

“Trick baby..don’t you think you’ve lost enough blood..”

“I swear to fuck Peter if you don’t bite me…trust me…I know my body…and I need you.”

If there was one thing Pete couldn’t refuse it was when Patrick’s voice went low and raspy. It was like his voice dripped of sex,which right now Pete reminded himself it probably was.

~#~

Having retrieved his wedding band back from Ashlee Patrick smirked looking at Pete. “Well put it on and kiss me.”

“Babe you really want me to kiss you? My mouth is tainted with your blood and my own.” The ring was slid onto Patrick’s ring finger and he sighed softly however…

“I don’t care kiss me now so help me—mmmph!”

His hands tangled in Pete’s hair and their hips crashed against each other’s before Patrick broke the kiss leaving Pete confused. “Wait here..I’m gonna make sure she can’t bother us anymore.”

Patrick couldn’t jump as high as Pete could but he could fly and was up at the top of Ashlee’s slowly melting ice prison the clashing of his and Pete’s fire and ice spells. “Well well well what have we here?”

Ashlee looked at him and gasped. “You…you look different…you’re not fat like you were in school and you’re glowing.”

“I know and I haven’t been for awhile. You were just too blind to see. I’m going to sing you one more song and then we’re done.”

“So wear me like a locket around your throat I’ll weigh you down,I’ll watch you choke you look so good in blue.” Closing his eyes and repeating in his head that this was for him and Pete he locked his lips on hers letting the combination of the mixture of his and Pete’s blood flow into the open cut on her lips. He pulled back smirking the spell was complete.

The fire started to rise and she started to screech. “What did you do to me?”

“Killed you with the power of love sweetheart now if you don’t mind I’m washing my mouth with soap and going home to bang my husband until the sun rises. Toodles!”

"See Ashlee i would say thanks for the memories even though they weren't that great but Pete tastes like you only sweeter...much much sweeter."

Once he was back on the ground with Pete no words were exchanged just strong embrace. After a moment Patrick spoke up in his low, husky voice. “Can I take you home Pete?”

“Do you have to ask Trick?”

With a flash of blue they disappeared just as Ashlee turned to dust.

Pete was laying in his and Patrick’s bed naked minus his boxers and glanced at the bathroom door where he could see his husband also naked minus his boxers and undershirt. “Trick…you’re going to scrub your teeth away you’ve brushed them about twenty times. Not to mention how many times you washed your face..”

“I DON’T CARE THAT WAS VILE!”

#fob #falloutboy #fall out boy fanfiction #peterick #peterick fanfiction

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emrysaf · 4 years

Text

Never Enough Pt. 19

Two parts in one-ish days? (I haven’t slept yet, so it is the same day darn it!) Inspiration struck so here we are.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

@peggycarter-steverogers @dottirose

-----------------------------------------------------

So this is it

I say goodbye

To this chapter of my ever-changing life

And there's mistakes

The path is long

And I'm sure I'll answer for them when I'm gone

So when the day comes in

The sun won't touch my face

Tell the ones who cared enough

That I finally left this place

Its been so cold

Look at my face

All the stories it will tell I can't erase

The road is long

Just one more song

A little something to remind you when I'm gone

When I'm gone

The road to hell

Along the way

Is paved with good intentions so they say

And some believe

That no good deed

That go unpunished in the end or so it seems

So when the day comes

And the sun won't touch my face

Tell the ones who cared enough

That I've finally left this place

♫🎝♫🎝♫🎝♫🎝♫🎝♫🎝♫🎝♫🎝♫

Time was irrelevant to Bucky while he was swamped in his own thoughts. Working with Dr. Flechling had brightened most days, but she had told him everyday couldn’t be full of light.

“There has always been rainy days, and there will always be rainy days. Days we feel like darkness inside and out will consume every last ember we have, but those are the days we must fortify ourselves and remember dark and light are two sides to a coin. And that coin is us. You can’t push something away because you’re scared or sad, you must accept it; you may not be able to beat it, but you can meet it.”

Crunching leaves and breaking twigs alerted Bucky to Steve’s incoming presence and he rolled his eyes with a light smile. Like him, Steve was adept at surveying and approaching without any noticeable sound, but he let him know anyway. A small show of care and friendship that Bucky would never take for granted.

“Hey Pal,” Steve started as he stepped into the small clearing where Bucky knelt. Folding one leg after the other he seated himself cross legged in front of his brunette friend. “Looked like you were thinking hard there. . .”

Steve was worried Bucky may have still been a bit angry, but realized that wasn’t the case as Buck met his eyes with a sigh; legs sliding out in a v-formation while the back of his head lightly touched the tree behind him. “Hey trouble.” At Steve’s raised eyebrows he continued, “I’m fine. Better anyway. Mostly just felt guilty, and got lost in what the doc would say.”

“Can’t beat it, but you can meet it,” Steve nodded with a faint chuckle. “I know you were upset, and what I had to tell you wouldn’t have made things much better, but now. . . Now there is something else I have to say too.”

With the emphasis on the word “now” Bucky thought he knew where this was going so he lowered his head to feign disinterest while he picked at the grass near his twitching right hand. “Start with what you were gonna say at the bar then.”

“Well-” Steve broke off with something between a grimace and a smile. “They both center around the same thing. Same person.”

Bucky switched to yanking grass out of the ground with his left hand; a little more edge to his movements, “Y/N.”

“Y/N,” the blond nodded in agreement.

“Well, just say it. She not doing well at that hospital,” he was trying so hard to seem like he could not possibly care less, but both men knew it was a bold faced lie. “Noticed the witch wasn’t home. She go to see her?”

Steve took a deep breath and dived in, “Yes and yes. The thing I was going to tell you, I found out when I went to see her yesterday. Wanda kinda read it. Said I was thinking too loud. We both agreed you needed to know, and she went up to see Y/N and finally get the full picture. Neither of us- We didn’t know-”

“Just spit it out Kid.”

“She never cheated on you. The dark haired, green-eyed, tattooed man was all made up. Dimitri back there? Pure coincidence.” Steve plowed on. “Apparently something happened with the Doctor Brantsted at the compound before that day. Y/N- She’d done some testing and found out. . .” Dear God, Steve thought, This is harder than I thought it would be.

“She didn’t- Never- Testing?” Bucky started as he whipped his head back up, feigned indifference forgotten, “Testing for what?’

“I don’t have all the details,” explained Captain America, “All I know from the paperwork and what Wanda read from her at the hospital is that the doc said she couldn’t and would never be able to have kids Buck. Wanda text, said Y/N made that story up to ‘set you free’.” He finished his explanation with hands raised for finger quotes.

“Set me free?!” Bucky raged as he jumped to his feet. “I want to see her. Now.”

This is where Steve figured it would go, and forced himself to stick to what he knew was best as he shook his head, “No.”

“No,” bellowed the quickly angered ex-assassin; that short fuse again. “The fuck you mean-”

Steve cut him off, “Despite everything. Regardless of the ‘whys’ or ‘hows’. The best place for Y/N is that hospital; for now. She still has healing to do, and it has barely started. I went up because she did something. . . Terrible to herself. But her healing factor kicked back in, so we think it may be a sign her powers will come back too. Hopefully, Wanda’s visit helped and Y/N will start to get better. Then she can come home.”

Bucky unclenched his fist as pieces of grass fell to the forest floor and sighed with a nod, “Home.”

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ameliasnormandy · 3 years

Text

Welcome to Horse Shoe Bay

Dear Mrs. Eloise Drew,

I appreciate you letting me borrow your car for this adventure. I can only imagine how writing this will make me seem to you. Yet, I know I have your utmost secrecy, and for that reason, I have no problem writing to you about my adventures thus far. First, I must say that I got lost and ended up in a small town in Maine. I know, why did you buy me that fancy GPS if I’m not going to use it? I could have sworn and would have sworn under oath that I followed all directions the GPS gave to me.

I was hopelessly lost, in a town that I did not catch the name of when I first entered. Now, I will remember the name forever—Horse Shoe Bay. How I stumbled into this town and into the rest of this is a complete mystery. Maybe it shouldn’t have been solely for the fact that you have told me that something like this would eventually happen to me. After driving around for probably five to ten minutes, I got out of my car at a nice little hole in the wall—The Claw. I remember seeing the lighthouse beside it, but more than that, I remember laughing at the little sign attached to The Claw it was a claw. The parking lot was deserted, except for two cars. The first was a beat-up old truck, but it did have some charm to it. Flowers from an old movie, not tan, but close enough that it’s barely yellow. It looked like it had seen some things, and now, I know it has. The other was this awesome old car. You know how much I love old cars, so I won’t talk about it too much. I just will leave it at the fact it was a light blue Sunbeam Alpine Series Three.

So, I walked inside. The sign was flipped open. It was open. They like to say that they weren’t open and that they had, in fact, flipped the sign closed, except that they didn’t. At first, the building looks as deserted as the parking lot was. Then I heard voices coming from the kitchen, and as any normal person would do, I didn’t follow them, because why would I?

Instead, I sat and waited. And waited. And waited. I waited a whole five minutes. Which is a long time for me. You know that better than anyone else. So, I started pacing around the dining room area. I still didn’t get up and walk toward the kitchen. And that lasted for about five more minutes, maybe ten. I guess I could push it and say ten minutes. Anyway, I started looking to the kitchen more and more frequently in the hopes that I would see something, or maybe that someone would see me. And someone did see me – a redheaded woman. She was stunning. Long red hair, her clothes were a little torn, and she was glaring at something in the kitchen. Her clothes were a sapphire dress, with sparkles everywhere. I remember thinking it was odd to wear something like that here. “Excuse me,” I said, walking closer to her. She didn’t say anything back to me. I walked closer to her. “Excuse me.”

She didn’t say anything to me. She did keep looking at me, though, which honestly didn’t help the situation at all. It only made me more nervous, more scared, and more than all of that, it made me more curious. Curiosity always a problem for me. I walked a little closer to her. She still kept looking at me, but she still didn’t say anything to me. She just turned her attention away from me and toward a room past the kitchen. “What are you looking at?” She still doesn’t answer me, and she even starts walking away from me. “Stop, please come back,” I called to her. She started walking away from me, and maybe I shouldn’t have followed. That might be the one thing in my mind that keeps ticking away. Would it have mattered if I wouldn’t have followed? I think the truth is that I would have been involved regardless of whether or not I would have followed her.

The only thing that I do know for sure is that I followed her with a hesitant step. I played in my head a thousand scenarios of what I would say if someone asked me what I was doing back there. I, honestly, didn’t like any of my answers, but the truth was the answers that I kept landing back on was the truth. I didn’t know, but I knew that the woman wasn’t answering me, and no one was in the front, so I assumed that maybe there was someone back here that could help me. Did I believe that it was a good answer? No, not really. I just know that I couldn’t stay there any longer. I could no longer be frozen in the front of the restaurant; I had to make a move. I could claim that I didn’t have to move. I could have stood there forever, but the reality is I couldn’t have. I personally couldn’t have. Like you have always told me, I am the exact person that could live both a stagnate life and yet one that, with one decision, could forever be living a life of adventure.

So many times, we wonder if we stand by them now, and we often don’t know the answers to the future any more than we know them now. That’s the honest truth. Even the most well-intentioned things are impossible to be sure of. As they say about the road to hell. And I walk that road now. I am sure of that. So, I wonder what good intentions mine will be paved by.

I walked into a seance. They had the candles and the burning incense and everything, it was a séance. There was also not one, but two ghosts. They were terrifying. Their faces were melting off. Melting off! I don’t mean like a sunburn peeling off. I’m talking dripping off like their skin was ice cream. I heard someone scream, and for just a second, I thought that I had been the one to scream, but I had not. It was one of the others, who were standing in the middle of this room, holding hands. She was wearing a yellow apron and had a gorgeous lacy top underneath it. She fainted, let me say that again, she fainted. It was not the presence of a ghost that scared her. It wasn’t even the presence of two ghosts. It was my presence. What presence did I give off that made a girl faint? Apparently, there is a story to that, and I will tell you, just not in this letter. I have a few more things that I want to say, and I know that if I don’t write it now, I will probably forget about them all together. You know how I get distracted.

So, this girl fainted, and I’m just standing there. The melted face ghosts quickly disappear. I believe, with my limited knowledge on seances, it was because the chain broke. The people I have become entangled with do a lot of them, and I mean a lot, like at least once a week. Once the circle was broken, the ghosts disappeared, and the others, the ones forming the circle, ran to their friend.

After making sure that she was alright, they turned their attention to me. “Who are you?” the redhead asked. I have come to know her as Nancy, Nancy Drew. She was wearing a blue shirt and jeans.

“There was no one in the front…” I began. As the words were coming out of my mouth, I realized that they didn’t quite fit the question that she had asked, but at that point that was what I was going to say. That was all that I could say. So, I pushed on. “I saw a woman…”

Already tired of a speech that didn’t answer their question, I was stopped. “We simply asked who you were.”

Now, I felt like that was a bit rude. I understand her impertinence. I understand or at least can have the sympathy to understand, her impetuous attitude. She feels like she has to find the answers, one of the only things that we have been able to agree on. She and I are very different people, and pretending that we are even remotely the same is doing both of us a disservice. I admire her greatly, even if we never see eye to eye. I do think it is a mutual understanding that we don’t see eye to eye. However, Nancy seems to understand me a little better than most would and has even taken a shine to me. I don’t think the others have done so yet. It’s alright though, it’s not like I will be here long enough to take a shining to the rest of them. It always takes me a moment to take a shining to anyone, anyway.

I stood frozen. I didn’t know what to say or what to do. I was not prepared to answer their questions and had not for a moment thought that the biggest question would be my name. “What is your name?” a young man asked, walking up to me. He has blondish hair tussled and flopped everywhere. He was wearing a denim jacket of some kind. Underneath that was a graphic T that I still don’t know what was on it. He was wearing dark pants. I would later find out his name is Ace.

“My name?” I stuttered out.

“Yes,” he said, taking a step closer to me. My name? What is my name? A question that I seemed to be blanking on. It was on the tip of my tongue, there in the back of my mind. He took another step closer to me. “What is your name?” he asked again as if somehow, I would remember. I didn’t. It was there, I knew it, but it wouldn’t come out. I had to know my name, right? I didn’t. I just stood there looking at them. My mouth had gone dry, and all of my thoughts had left me. Before I knew it more people were demanding to know my name, as if the more people who shouted at me, the more likely it would be for me to remember my name. It didn’t work. The only thing that shouting at me actually accomplished was terrifying me. Making me panicked. There are a total of three things that I do when I panic. First, I freeze. Second, I run. Third, I faint. It’s the options of the world. Those are the only options that I have. They aren’t good options, but they are the options that I have.

And the option I chose was all three. First, I ran. I ran out of the restaurant. Or at least I tried to. I made it to the door. And then round two hit me, and I froze. I couldn’t move. I wanted to open the door. I wanted to leave, but all of a sudden, I couldn’t. I just couldn’t move. I couldn’t think. I wanted to make a decision, but it felt like I couldn’t choose anything. I heard the others walk toward the room.

Ace walked up to me. “Are you alright?” I couldn’t even look at him. I couldn’t move. All I could see was the door. The door. I wanted to escape, but I just couldn’t.

Then it all went black.

I don’t know if I want to leave it like that, but I don’t think that I have a choice. I have other things that I have to do, so I’ll have to write you tomorrow.

I miss you lots.

Love,

Helen Archer.

#nancy drew #bess marvin #ace nancy drew #fanfic #oc fanfiction #oc character

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almostunadulteratedmiracle · 5 years

Photo

Good Omens TV + (as I like to call them:) “Good Moments”

Listen, I love to hate on Aziraphale’s boss just as much as the next person, but the more that enjoyable antagonism kept returning him into my thoughts, the more I picked up that things are never just black and white in this story... so here it is, a compilation of GO-TV Gabriel’s (relatively) good moments that nobody ever asked for.

Yes, he’s a horrible boss and annoying and full of himself and wants the world to end... but. Most of what he does probably doesn’t come from a place of malice? (I know, I know, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions [and door-to-door salesmen]...) He’s juts as fallible as most of the characters, it just shows differently. But then he also has to have his good side, and moments when that can shine through. And he does:

A) He’s very generous in giving out praise? (See GIFs 1-3.) I wish most authority figures I’ve encountered would be handing out validation that generously. Anyway, a breakdown: 1. Yes, it comes off as being gullible or not paying enough attention to his field agent(s), but he does believe Aziraphale when he says he’s been doing his job without Crowley noticing him. And Gabriel looks genuinely impressed with that. He doesn’t give explicit praise here, but he does call this achievement a “miracle”, which, among angels, should count for something. 2. Come on, he actually claps when Aziraphale gives his report (about influencing the Antichrist)? And I’m pretty sure he knew the other angels would follow sort. He applauds and compliments, even though he firmly believes what Aziraphale is trying to do will eventually prove to be pointless. Not a sentence I thought I’d write, but he does seem to appreciate doing Good just for the sake of doing Good. 3. Again, with the “excellent job”s. That’s all. (Also, in the full scene, he keeps going on about the little joke that Sandalphon made, which is... kind of sweet, I guess.)

B) In the 4th GIF: yes, I know, we don’t like the full scene and Gabriel says mean things, etc. But there is one tiny moment I needed some time to appreciate... The Great War is pretty much imminent at this point. Within a day, everything on Earth will be destroyed, so whatever Aziraphale does that day (other than going to war) would be pretty much inconsequential. They’ve already met here, Azi’s reported all that he knows, so, really, there is no particular reason to keep him on Earth anymore? No reason why Gabriel couldn’t make him go back to Heaven right then, with him? He’s never seemed like he appreciates any aspect of Aziraphale’s earthly disguise beyond the strict necessities. But now that whole disguise is pointless... but still, however little they generally understand each other with this estranged underling, Gabriel seems to understand that all the inconsequential earthly things are still important to Aziraphale, and gives him time (as much as he can) to “wrap things up”. Yes, this seems like the bare minimum of humanity, but (a) they’re not human and (b) if Gabriel was nothing but the epitome of horrible bosses, he wouldn’t show even this small purposeless kindness.

C) In GIFs 5-6: after I first watched that episode, I used to privately call this “the only redeeming character moment”. Faced with incriminating evidence against Aziraphale, Gabriel says there must be an “innocent explanation”. Now, I might be the gullible one here, but it seems genuine to me. Also, we seem to love imagining Gabriel as this nigh-all-knowing, all-controlling ultimate boss, but... pardon the expression, he’s only “human”. (Not technically, but you know what I mean.) The way he replies, his expressions and his pondering really sold me on the fact that he has no idea about the existence of “back channels”. Apparently, he doesn’t know nearly as much about his co-workers as he thinks he does - which, I almost feel sorry for him, having to run Heaven that way. Expectations and negative qualities aside, he’s doing the best he can.

D) I’ll keep this as non-spoilery as I can (thank you English language for the passive voice): when the angels are getting fire-breathed at (ugh, I take it back, screw the passive voice), all of them back away in shock and horror, but... Notice what their hands/arms are doing? It’s a split-second reaction, so there isn’t really time for being calculated or pretentious. They, in some way, all reach for each other. It can be seen both as a terrified gesture of seeking comfort in their connection, and as an instinctive gesture of protection - with Sandalphon and Uriel wanting to drag Gabriel back out from the line of fire, and, in turn, Gabriel wanting to push them back into safety (while he’s possibly still a bit more in harm’s way). Whichever one it is, it doesn’t look like the act of a horrible person to me. To conclude. This collection of course doesn’t balance out his world-ending and simply mean personality traits and actions, but I haven’t seen a compilation of “bloody Gabriel’s” non-horrible moments. And my brain couldn’t stand to leave something GO-related without adding some shades of grey. He might mostly be doing the wrong things for the wrong reasons, or, at least, nearly never the right things for the right reasons. But. You know, my history teacher used to say, there are two types of generals: the one that says “Advance!” and the one that says “Follow me!”, and it says a lot about the generals themselves which ones they are. Gabriel would definitely shout “Follow me!”, and that’s enough of a testament of a certain amount of goodness for me.

#listen i still love to hate him for most of the series #but there are these tiny things that i can't ignore and that keep making me smile #i'm not saying he's not a horrible boss #but still better than many irl-bosses?#i have way too many thoughts on his role anyway #sorry for the long rant #i've been debating with myself for a while whether this is a hill i'm willing to die on #and it is kind of #enough for me to make this post at least #i don't want to convince anyone #i never do #just wanted to get this out there #good omens #go-tv #good omens tv

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famedroleplayarchive · 3 years

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HAN JIHAE, better know as JIHAN, is the MAKNAE, MAIN VOCAL, AND LEAD DANCER of ORIGIN under GOLD STAR MEDIA. He was born on OCTOBER 28, 1997. He looks a little like NA JAEMIN OF NCT.

CHARACTER INFORMATION

faceclaim: Na Jaemin, member of NCT

legal name: Han Jihae

stage name: Jihan

pronouns: he/they

birth date: October 28, 1997

hometown: Zurich, Switzerland

position: maknae, main vocal & lead dancer of Origin

claims: ACTING – Seok Hansung in Hwarang (2016-2017) – Hwang Woojoo in SKY Castle (2018-2019) – Jung Seyeon in True Beauty (2020-2021) OST – It’s Definitely You, Hwarang (2016-2017) – How Do You Do, True Beauty (2020-2021)

BIOGRAPHY

triggers: injury (i.) , bullying, eating disorder / bulimia (vi.)

The story starts with scraped knees and a sprained ankle. Han Jihae is seven and this is the fifth time in the last five months their mother has to bring them to the doctor’s office.

An injury is a temporary thing. Their hunger for the world, however, is not and no amount of split lips and aching bones, no pattern of bruises is enough to signal them that it is time to stop. It’s not like they beg for trouble, trouble just happens to be the natural consequence of wandering off the beaten path in the woods, trouble comes when you poke the proverbial hornet’s nest to see what happens. Trouble finds you when you refuse to step back without an answer when the world tells you no.

Jiyong waits back home perched on the windowsill, swaddled in blankets—at six, they share the same face and the same voice and the same charming smile, even if Jiyong is weak and tired where Jihae isn’t.

“I’ll bring you the world,” Jihae vows and presses their newest finding, a smooth, speckled pebble into the palm of Jiyong’s hand. “Just you wait.”

ii.

There is only so much a worried parent can take, watching their offspring run from one pitfall into the next. “Too much energy and no direction,” that’s what their kindergarten teacher says. “He means well, he just doesn’t know how to go about things.” It’s a kind way to put the forceful ways they learn to stand up for others. The road to hell is paved by good intentions, after all.

“Maybe it’s time we find you two a hobby,” Mama suggests, her voice cheerily saccharine. “Maybe,” Jiyong amends. “Try me,” Jihae challenges.

They last six months, until a dance studio opens two streets away and all of the neighbourhood kids are starting classes. Jiyong can’t go, Jiyong is sick and shivering and sleeping his fever off on Papa’s lap.

“Go anyway, Jihae,” Mama tells them softly and pets their hair. “He’d be upset if you missed out on the fun.” “It’s not going to be fun,” they push back vehemently. “It’s never going to be real fun without Jiyong.”

They go. And they dance. And they fall in love.

iii.

Summers in Seoul have always been sweltering and humid, the air heavy and thick with smog. They’re worse in the shoddy dance studio where Jihae’s older cousin Sunhee practices with her dance crew, but right now it’s summer break they’re one member short and Jiyong’s gentle assurance that Jihae can dance, that they’re good still rings in their ears when they shuffle a little closer to the rest.

Jihae feels lonely in the room, a skinny child just shy of twelve standing between a pack of teens. It lasts until they start practice and things fall into place. No one at home ever listens to K-pop, Mama and Papa both grew up abroad themselves already and Swiss radio rarely ever plays anything without English lyrics.

The songs they dance to this afternoon are different, come with choreography and bright and flashy music videos and Jihae and Jiyong stay up late that night, Sunhee squished between them and going through her favourite songs.

“We’re not seriously busking,” Sunhee tells the man with the business card. “We’re just playing around.” Her body feels warm and firm when Jihae hides behind it. “That’s okay,” the man says and crouches down in an attempt to get a better look at them. “How old are you?” “He doesn’t speak Korean–” “Eleven.” Jihae doesn’t mean to disobey Sunhee. But they’ve been asked a question and it’d be rude not to answer, wouldn’t it? “Eleven is a good age,” the man says and hands them a card. “Have you ever wanted to be a star, kid?”

Even Mama knows who Bang Sunyoung is. Papa looks less impressed. “It’d be just to try it out!” Jihae repeats what the man in Hongdae told them. “You’re starting sixth grade back home in two weeks,” Papa points out. “Honey, I didn’t even know Bang Sunyoung has her own company–” “Can we do this later, dear?” “– Sorry.” Jihae frowns up at their father. “Sunhee says it’s because I did well,” they add. “I have no doubt you did. But it’s not this as easy as that, Jihae.”

They throw the business card in the bin that evening, frustrated and angry and humiliated. Come morning, they find it on their clothes from the day before, dog-eared and a little creased. “Try again,” Jiyong’s handwriting tells them.

iv.

It takes the better part of a semester and the promise to bring back top grades and not to fight their teachers for Jihae’s parents to start looking into Gold Star auditions and schools in Seoul. Sunhee’s mother, auntie Hyunjoo, offers them her guest bedroom for Jihae to stay in.

“And if things go bad you come back home right away, yes?” Mama tells them. Worry looks strange on her face. Jihae doesn’t like it.

“Yes, mama,” they tell her, watching the lines in her face fade hesitantly.

Things won’t go bad, they think to themselves, I won’t let them.

Things first go really well and then they go really bad.

Han Jihae is thirteen when they start training under Gold Star Media, all knobby elbows and bruised legs, slowly starting to grow in what one day will be their adult body. Training is excruciating. The coaches don’t care about how much homework they have. Their Korean is more bare bones than they thought it would be. The dorms are cramped and true privacy is a rare luxury. They miss their parents, they miss Jiyong, they miss their youngest sibling, little Jiyeon who is still just six and might forget about them before they even get to debut.

They want to give up.

“But isn’t this what you worked so hard for?” Jiyong asks through the phone. Jihae can’t recall ever hearing their twin brother so heartbroken.

“Well, I want to give up,” they tell him with so much fake bravado, they almost buy it themselves. “Doesn’t mean I’m going to.”

Singing, turns out, is nicer than dancing. Singing is something Jihae is naturally good at, something that is comfortable and fun. When dancing takes their breath it’s through singing that they learn to take it back.

Soon, more than a dancer, Han Jihae turns into a singer.

vi.

Being picked on is infuriating. Being picked on knowing that fighting back isn’t an option—not if they want to avoid future bullying scandals—is excruciating. Jihae is used to being othered but up to this point giving his bullies hell in return has always been a possibility.

Instead, they learn to redirect their anger. Eat your frustrations, purge in embarrassment. Brush their teeth lest they want to lose them, hide the traces lest they want to look like you’re asking for pity. Rinse, repeat. Toe the line of breaking, this is a punishment, this is a reminder that they’re still in control. Their justifications start blurring and contradicting themselves.

They pretend not to see, close their eyes and ignore how every time catharsis slips a little faster through the cracks in their armour, leaving them hungry and hollow and ashamed.

Unexpectedly, it’s the trainee selections for Who’s Next that break the cycle. Being on television is stressful in a way different from what they’re used to so far but the attention they receive reignites their excitement. Their former “coping methods” no longer work and put their voice at risk instead and so they’re left in front of a camera, hands wringing behind their back hoping no one can tell how scared they actually are.

And it pays off. Team A wins and Jihae establishes a base level of affection for being the darling youngest, mischievous and radiant. It’s an act, the person Jihae would like to be so desperately, but it’s okay. They can still grow into their wings as they go, right?

vii.

Turns out that it’s not quite that easy. Debuting is stressful and what follows is the weight of knowing that they’re currently underperforming, their concept just a smidge too niche to really catch on. The anger returns, flaring and all-consuming and this time there’s no more room to purge it so instead, they start bottling it up.

The person Jihae crafts into their public persona seems to become more distant with every comeback and they’re tired to the bone when Origin’s success finally finds them. All they can do is to let the wave sweep them along and gasp for half a breath before they throw themselves back into pretending.

Turns out that pretending for a living—actually so, past the faking of an idolsona—is actually a lot of fun. Their first acting gig they’re offered in late 2016, more a matter of making sure Origin remains fresh in everyone’s perception by shoving them down the public’s throat than anything else, really. Jihae is just around the right age for the role and that’s what everyone else assumes too, that Origin’s sudden spike in fame has made the members, specifically, cocky, that they have no place taking trained actors’ spaces, that they have no value to contribute to South Korea’s acting sphere. Hwarang doesn’t return the money it’s supposed to, either, but to Jihae it’s an opportunity to put on a wig and a fancy costume and pretend not to be themselves for a while and as long as the cameras are running the experience is liberating.

They don’t do as badly as expected and even after an underperforming acting debut they’re approached about an audition again later down the line. It’s while on set for SKY Castle that they realize that in their supporting roles, neither Hwarang nor this opportunity really rest much of their success on Jihae’s shoulders specifically. The responsibility they take on feels lighter when the pressure is split amongst a cast so much bigger than Origin and no amount of vile comments can take that budding sense of relief away from them.

When they’re first approached about their appearance in True Beauty they don’t anticipate for it to be their tipping point. It’s pride that ultimately makes them accept the role in spite of the reminders of what it entails and it’s pride that leaves them feeling horribly afterwards. Their performance seemingly hits the mark—Jihae wouldn’t know, they never end up watching the show air. But it becomes an unpleasant reminder that they’re not as well-equipped to cope as they like to pretend they are.

viii.

Han Jihae is twenty-three and the world is at their feet. Maybe not theirs specifically, but close enough. The beginning of the new decade marks a shift in pace, a gentle lean into something that feels a little more manageable at last. Maybe they’ve finally started to grow used to the life they wanted and weren’t prepared for, maybe it’s the beginning of the end because apparently if fame doesn’t breed misery it’s not truly fame—who knows.

Whatever it may be, for the first time in eleven years Jihae can finally turn around to look at the one thing they’ve neglected the most: themselves. They don’t quite know what to make of the jagged edges where things have broken and splintered or how to patch the holes they’ve burnt into themselves but for the first time in a long while they feel ready to learn how to heal.

#fmdfollow #goldstarmedia #origin

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