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chapel-of-rizztual · 10 months

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I can't find the ask game again, but can you please write some more tearful & soft puppy Mountain? Like, what if him & the new quintessence bug got stuck in a hyperempathy feedback loop & they had no choice but to kiss laugh about it?

Phantom woke up to a weird sound. It was just coming up to 4am, and he blinks blearily at his phone checking the time. The tour bus is small and cramped, Phantom got use to hearing snores and snuffles from the other ghouls as they slept, but this was different. It sounded almost pained. Phantom’s ears prick up as he listens intently for the sound again, but after a couple of seconds of silence he turns around, settling back into his bunk, thinking that maybe Swiss was just sleep talking again.

Just as he’s drifting off the sleep again he hears it again. A soft whimpering cry, louder this time, coming from one of the other bunks. He waits for it stop like last time, but it keeps going, wet gasp like sobs echoing through the quiet of the bus.

Phantom shuffled out of his bed as quietly as he can, wrapping his tail around his waist so it didn’t swing around uncontrollably. He followed the sounds along the corridor for the bus, careful not to trip over any stray items of clothing and Shoes.

He makes it to Mountains bunk, where sounds are coming from, and gently pulls the certain back, not wanting to scare the ghoul.

Mountain is still asleep, his face scrunched up uncomfortably as he lets out little squeaks and whimpers in his sleep, one hand grasping at the pillow desperately.

Phantom shakes him gently, being careful not to scare him.

“Hey, hey mount. You need to wake up, i think you’re having a nightmare.”

Mountain let’s out a long whimper, his face scrunching up even more before his eyes shoot open with a sharp gasp.

He grasps at a Phantom’s wrist and stutters, trying to take a deep breath, and he blinks rapidly, desperately trying to blink away the tears that had pooled on his eyes.

“Hey, you’re okay, I promise, you’re safe.” He whispers to Mountain, softly rubbing at his cheek.

Mountain looks at him with big wet eye and his bottom lip wobbles as tears now fall from his eyes and he whimpers sadly.

When Phantom had first been summoned, Aether had warned him about Mountain. About how he could be a little over emotional and sensitive at time, how he cried a lot, often at nothing, and how clingy and needy he could be. He was also warned about the puppy thing, and how that can heighten his emotions sometime. But he was told it wouldn’t be an issue for him, that Mountain had people to go that would look after him when felt like that.

He’d witnessed Mountain being puppy with the others, seen how they’d played with him, how they’d coo at him and rub his belly. He’d seen them cuddle him and hold him tight when he cried, and how they reassured him, babied him at times, when he needed it.

He could tell Mountain was puppy now, just by the way his pupils were blown, whatever dream he’d had had obviously scared him into his safe headspace. He contemplated waking Swiss or Cumulus, they know what to do with Mountain when he’s like this, but the way the poor earth ghoul is clinging to him diminishes that idea.

“You’re okay, puppy. I’ve got you, I’ll keep you safe.” Phantom climbs into Mountain bunk, pulling the ghoul into his chest and he starts running his hands though his hair, hoping that it’s comforting for him.

Mountain immediately curls into his chest, a desperate sob wracking through his body so hard that Phantom feels him jump with it.

“Oh, I know, puppy. I know. You had such a scary dream, huh?”

Mountain nods agains his chest and let’s out another sob, tears soaking into Phantoms pyjama top. Phantom wraps both his arms around the earth ghoul, squeezing him as tightly as he can, keeping on hand buried in his hair, scratching behind his ears.

“Shhh, you’re okay, puppy. I’ve got you, you’re safe.” He feels that tell-tale tightening of his throat and he feels tears of his own tell in his eyes.

“Where’s your carrot, puppy? I know you like to have that with you all the time.” His voice breaks and he clears his throat, not wanting Mountain to know he was on the verge of crying himself.

Mountain let’s put a small whine and gives a small shrug, burying his face deeper into Phantom’s chest. Phantom reached a hand under Mountains pillow, knowing that the ghoul liked to ‘bury’ it there to keep it safe. He finds the plush exactly where he thinks it would be and pull it out, handing it to Mountain.

Mountain takes the carrot plush right away, with a happy teary thrill, resting on Phantom’s chest and chews away on it.

“That’s it, puppy. Such a good boy, aren’t you? Doing to well for me.”

Phantom watches as Mountain slowing starts to calm down, the tears slowing and the little whimpery sobs die down at he comfort chews on the plush.

Phantom desperately try’s to blink away the tears that had welled in his eyes, but to no avail as they run down his cheeks. He suck in a shaky breath, trying to stay as quiet as he can, not wanting to disturb Mountain now that he’d calmed down enough.

It doesn’t work, in his efforts to trying and keep his cries in he lets out a little hiccup, his belly jumping under Mountain, making the poor earth ghoul jump.

Mountain let’s out a squeak, looking up at Phantom with big round eyes. He licks at the tears on Phantom’s cheeks, making him let out a wet giggle, and let’s out a questioning hum.

“I’m okay, puppy, I promise.” He tries not to let his voice wobble as he speaks. Mountain tilts his head to the side, licking at the tears again.

Phantom giggles again at the feeling.

“I just-sometimes get a little upset when other people get upset.” He pets at Mountain hair. “I’m okay though, I promise.” He let’s out another wet laugh as Mountain starts licking all over his face.

Mountain nudges his carrot plush further up Phantom chest with his nose, giving him a questioning look.

Phantom feels his heart swell at the gesture from Mountain, knowing how much that carrot plush meant to him.

“Oh, you’re so sweet, puppy. But this is yours, baby. I don’t need it.”

He pushes the plush back down to where it had been resting on his chest, hoping the grimace on his face wasn’t obvious as he touched the wet fabric. Mountain takes it back with a happy chitter, continuing his chewing, his eyes slipping closed as he does.

“We should sleep, puppy. We have to be up to help with set up in a couple of hours.”

Mountain hums in agreement, his eyes still closed as he settles down properly on Phantom’s chest, carrot still in his mouth. Phantom snuggles down, pulling the covers over both of them, his eyes closing with a purr rumbling though his chest, holding Mountain close to him.

#I didn’t edit this so if you see a mistake no you didn’t #ficlet #the band ghost #ghost headcanons #mountain ghoul #phantom ghoul #aeon ghoul #puppy mountain #my love for puppy mountain grows more and more each day #Ask #thanks for the ask! ❤️#my writing #pet regression

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mikeylivesattheend · 11 months

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Hi, I love Red Hood, Dimension Travel & Time Travel fics. Here are a 5 I enjoy that aren't immediately showing up if you sort by kudos on A03, basically. Don't forget to look at the tags! A lot of these have dark/angsty themes.

___

The Passing There by Ginevra_Benci

Dimension Travel, incomplete, 15k

Jason Todd awoke one morning from troubled dreams and found himself transformed into a monstrous—

No. God, he wished.

Metamorphosis, he could have handled. An easy fix. Hell, magic insect transformation was practically an everyday occurrence, in Gotham.

Just… not in this Gotham.

***

Jason Todd awakes one morning in a Gotham that “doesn’t like chaos”, and finds his feet.

I love the writing style here, it's updating regularly, and the plot is interesting without being too complicated.

This is the only incomplete fic here btw.

PLUTO. by Orpheusaki

Dimension Travel, complete, 22k

"I kill so others don't have to," Bruce states firmly and clearly. This entire situation didn't seem like it could get any more bizarre, what with Bruce sitting in the dark and polishing guns, but somehow it just has, "While you are here you will not kill."

Jason's throat is scratchy and dry with terror, but the insatiable feeling of being talked over and disregarded is a fresh wound. He can't back down from this if he tried, "I've killed. I still kill. Who the fuck do you think you are to stop me?"

Bruce gently sets down his gun, and picks up the blade beside him with practised ease. Jason's blood runs cold when the man wearing his father's face says, "You will die by my hand if you try."

(Jason meets a version of Bruce who has manifested his fears very differently.)

Honestly if you haven't read any of Orpheusaki's fics you should- immediately. I love fics that explore Bruce killing, and the vibes are so so right here.

This author also has another AMAZING dimension travel fic but it's abandoned I think so I cannot rec it in good conscience, sorry 😭

ghosts by roseworth

Time Travel, complete, 5k

Steph startled as a kid in a bright Robin costume jumped onto the roof in front of them.

A Robin costume she had only seen inside a glass case. A mop of curls she had only seen in pictures.

This was fucking Jason Todd.

Shit.

(Robin!Steph and Bruce get sent back in time to when Jason was alive. Everyone has some realizations.)

Chef's kiss, Steph gets to see Jason & learn what he was like. Not super long, but it's great

Sisyphus by EventualToast

Time Travel, complete, 8k

"Jason Todd is, for the second time in his life, sixteen years old, mortally wounded and trapped in a coffin. And this time, he takes in all the details that scream it’s reality. In his memories, he can always see the white of the silk, feel the worms crawling through his skin, even though neither of those things were possible. Now, he’s in sterile darkness. He needs to get out of here."

Or Jason and Essence get stuck in an infinite timeloop.

I love love love fics that use Jason's All Caste backstory & the time travel is wonderful. I've reread this like 5 times ngl

Ad Infinitum; Modified by familiarities (twistsandturns)

Time Travel, complete, 9k

Tim is hunched over his computer, bouncing between a report for B (Batman, not Bruce) and a spreadsheet for B (Bruce, not Batman) when Jason stumbles into the cave. If it weren’t for the fact that Jason had been in a somewhat good mood lately, Tim probably would have been a little more concerned about this fact. Still, it’s weird when, instead of ignoring Tim’s existence like he usually does, Jason walks over to him directly and says, “I'm in a time loop and I don't know why. Fix it."

The outsider pov on a time loop is so well done, and I love seeing Jason change from afar

___

Uhh yeah that's it. I've read a lot more than these, but there are better rec lists to get those. These are just ones that tickle my brain. A lot of these authors are on Tumblr too, so thats neat.

#time travel #dimension travel #fic recs #red hood #batman #alternate universe #fanfic #jason todd #jason todd apologist #ik the formatting is shit #you came here no one can judge me #my post

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reallydumbdannyphantomaus · 2 years

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Valerie, Paulina, and Danny are stuck in a time loop as the end of the world looms. It goes about as well as you'd expect. (ao3) (p.s. if you read an earlier version of this already, this is a longer and more complete first chapter, tho the first section is almost entirely the same) also tagging @not-your-average-url since they specifically requested it

Loop 0

"Oh my god, Valerie, do you have to be so dramatic?" Paulina snapped her compact mirror closed, meeting Valerie's glare with her own, just as fierce. "Now we're both in trouble."

"Don't say shit about my dad, then," Valerie said, fingers clenching at her side, "and we won't have a problem."

"I didn't say anything that wasn't true."

"My dad baked you brownies every year for your birthday, and you called him a fat loser to my face. You should've expected to get punched."

Stuck between them outside Principal Ishiyama's office, Danny sighed. Sam and Tucker were right: he'd developed too much of a "hero" thing. Jumping in the middle of Valerie and Paulina's fight to break it up only got him sent to the office as well. He should've left well enough alone, but it was too late now.

"You and your dad's fall from grace isn't my fault. All I did was acknowledge it."

Danny groaned. It was the end of the school day. The last bell was about to ring. And here he was, trapped between two angry former crushes.

"Paulina, could you stop being an asshole for, like, five minutes?" he said, pinching the bridge of his nose where his headache pounded. He just wanted to go home and pass out. Between Skulker and his homework, he'd only gotten about an hour's worth of sleep last night.

Paulina scoffed. "Whatever, Fenton."

Valerie turned her glare on him. "I don't need you to fight my battles, Danny."

"I really just wish you wouldn't fight at al—"

A wisp of blue air escaped his mouth just as the world exploded in light and noise and pain.

Loop 1

Danny burst awake to his blaring alarm.

The world came into focus bit by bit, as the jackrabbit pace of his heart slowed to a normal pace. Danny could make out the glow-in-the-dark stars over his bed, faintly shining in the morning light.

“Danny, if you’re not ready in 15 minutes, you can take the bus to school! I’m not waiting!” Jazz yelled on the other side of his door.

“Uh, okay!” he yelled back, trying to keep his voice from quivering. Was it… a dream? It all felt so real, so normal, even, right until the end…

The smell of burning bread wafted into his room. Mom burned her toast again. She burned it in his dream, too, but she burned it most days. That didn’t mean anything. Had Jazz yelled at him in the dream? He wasn’t sure. He’d been pretty sleep deprived so a lot of the day was pretty fuzzy.

He had the strangest sense of deja vu the whole day. When he got to school, Dash knocked into him in the hallway and sent him crashing into the locker. This happened most days. Less common was Sam shouting “Douche Baxter!” after him. She’d said that in the dream, too.

“New nickname?” he said.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess. I mean, it fits him well enough, right?”

“Y-Yeah. Yeah.”

Sam frowned. “Are you okay? He didn’t actually hurt you, did he?”

Danny waved her off. “Nah, Skulker gave me worse last night. Just some… weird deja vu.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Okay, well. If you change your mind…”

“You and Tuck will be the first to know, I promise.”

“Good.”

The rest of the day wasn’t any better. Dash stumbled over the same presentation on the industrial revolution he vaguely remembered sleeping through in his dream. The cafeteria served the same almost-crunchy tuna noodle casserole. Mikey slipped in the same puddle after one of the football players removed the CAUTION: WET FLOOR sign.

“I think I’m going crazy,” he said as Nathan helped to pick Mikey up off the floor.

“And this is news?” Tucker said. Sam elbowed him. “Ow.”

“What he means is: what makes you say that?”

“I just—I had this dream last night, and I think it’s… coming true?”

“Like a prophetic vision?”

“Something like that. Like, in my dream, Mikey slipped in the puddle just like that.”

“So?” Tucker said through a mouthful of his turkey sandwich. “Mikey falls all the time.”

“It’s not just that. It’s—I swear I heard you call Dash ‘Douche Baxter’ in the dream too. And I heard his presentation, too.”

Sam sat back in her seat, humming thoughtfully. “What else happened in the dream? If we are living your dream, then what happens next?”

“Ugh, I don’t know. I only remember bits and pieces. The next thing I remember for sure happening is Valerie and Paulina getting into a fight in seventh period.”

Tucker laughed. “Oh, I’m putting money on Valerie to win that fight. A hundred percent.”

“Okay, well how about this: if the fight happens, then you’ve got some weird prophetic vision going on. If it doesn’t, then it’s just a weird dream.”

“Works for me,” Tucker said around another mouthful.

“I guess,” Danny said. The ending of his dream played on a loop in his head. He was pretty sure they’d died there at the end.

He really hoped Valerie and Paulina didn’t fight in seventh period English.

The clock ticked interminably slow the rest of the day. Every sound made him jump. He turned his head at every movement. Every word spoken was checked against the catalog in his head of his half-remembered dream. He second-guessed everything that happened around him. Had Kwan sat down quite so heavily in his dream? Did Star ask that question? Yes, she definitely had. He remembered it. Right?

As the bell rang for seventh period, every muscle in his body ached with the strain of being held in tension for so long. In his dream, Valerie and Paulina had got up to fight almost immediately after the bell rang. Lancer hadn’t even gotten class started yet.

He eased himself into his seat, staring between Valerie and Paulina, both of whom seemed… set on ignoring each other. His eyes darted back and forth, but neither of them even looked at the other. Lancer moved to the front of the classroom and wrote The Scarlet Letter on the board and the two girls were both still staring at their desks.

Danny let out a sigh of relief. It was just a dream after all.

Lancer’s class passed in a blur. He pillowed his arms on his desk and let the teacher’s low drone lull him.

As he had almost passed out, he gasped as the cool mist of his ghost sense escaped him. He looked out the window to see something bright and green and burning race toward the classroom. He stood. Paulina screamed.

The world exploded again.

Loop 2

Danny burst awake to his blaring alarm.

—

Loop 0

Sometimes, Valerie couldn’t believe she was ever friends with Paulina Sanchez.

She wasn’t always this girl, was she? She wasn’t always someone who dragged everyone down to make sure that she was always on the top, right? At some point, the two of them were just normal, everyday friends.

Weren’t they?

Over Danny’s head, Valerie glared at Paulina, who was fixing her makeup. Whatever the past, the present reality was that Valerie was no longer Paulina’s friend, which apparently meant that she was now Paulina’s target.

She could handle it, though. She would never be favored by school administrators in a fight regardless of the context, so she had gotten excellent at not reacting.

Until Paulina brought her dad into it.

Valerie clenched her fist at the thought. Damon Gray had always been kind to Paulina. She’d even told Valerie once that he was more of a father to her than her own dad. He didn’t deserve the words that came out of Paulina’s mouth.

"Oh my god, Valerie, do you have to be so dramatic? Now we're both in trouble."

“Don’t say shit about my dad, then, and we won’t have a problem.”

Danny cringed between them. Poor guy, getting stuck in this mess. He really should’ve just let her go to town on Paulina rather than getting in the way.

“I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.”

“My dad baked you brownies every year for your birthday, and you called him a fat loser to my face. You should've expected to get punched.”

"You and your dad's fall from grace isn't my fault. All I did was acknowledge it."

"Paulina, could you stop being an asshole for, like, five minutes?" Danny finally spoke up, a heavy layer of exhaustion in his voice. Valerie had no idea why he insisted on staying up so late every night, but it clearly took its toll on him. She was pretty sure she’d seen him dozing in each of the three classes they shared.

Still, she didn’t need his help with Paulina. It was her own problem.

"I don't need you to fight my battles, Danny."

"I really just wish you wouldn't fight at al—"

Danny gasped mid-sentence, and the world erupted.

Loop 1

Valerie jolted awake.

Cold sweat stuck the old Humpty Dumpty t-shirt she slept in to her back. Each breath came out as a stuttering gasp. She pounded her chest with her fist, desperate to get some control over her breathing.

A knock on her door. Her father’s exhausted voice. “Val, I’m heading to bed. Have a good day at school, sweetheart. I’ll see you for dinner? My shift starts at 8, can you be home in time?”

Valerie took a deep breath. Then another.

“Val?”

“Yeah!” she said, keeping her voice more-or-less stable. “Yeah I can—I can make it.”

“Good. Good morning!” he said with a chuckle. It was her dad’s new favorite joke: now that he worked the night shift and went to bed in the morning, he said “good morning” the same way most people said “good night”.

She heard the soft click of his door closing and let out another halting breath. It was 7:15 AM. School started in an hour. Last she remembered, school had blown up.

She got ready in a haze, showering, getting dressed, eating. She packed up her homework that she’d done two nights ago (last night? Was that whole day a dream? A vision?) and changed into her Red Huntress armor. Elmerton was a ways out of Amity Park proper and it had its own high school. Dad, though, had taken one look inside it and its broken lockers and moldy ceilings and marched right back out.

So she still went to Casper High, despite the commute. Besides, her dad had said, he didn’t want her to leave all her friends.

(She hadn’t yet figured out how to tell him that only Star would still talk to her, that Paulina and Kwan and Dash had dropped her like a sack of potatoes at the first sign of trouble. Kwan had come up to her and apologized two months ago, but she wasn’t ready to forgive so easily. She held grudges like it was going out of style. Ask Phantom.)

So she covered up her Huntress activities with stories of going to Paulina’s house. She got to hunt ghosts and protect the town, and her dad got to think that she was living a normal teenage life. It worked out for both of them.

Flying to school cut down on her commute a lot, too. Instead of 45 minutes, she could get over there in just 20 minutes, 15 if she booked it. And today was a “book it” kind of day, if only to get through the weirdness as fast as possible.

Unfortunately, the weirdness kept coming. At her locker, she heard Sam Manson’s shout of “Douche Baxter” just before Dash jogged past, laughing at what looked to be Danny Fenton, picking himself up off the floor. Typical Dash, except it happened the same way in her dream.

Nathan came up to her in third period. He did that a lot, too, but he didn’t usually do it with yellow roses—except he did today and in her dream. Mikey slipped and fell in the cafeteria, again; Tyson, one of the football player who used to jokingly flirt with her, moved the CAUTION: WET FLOOR sign just in time to Mikey to walk by. Coach Tetslaff gave Tucker Foley detention for being on his phone. Again.

None of this was odd behavior, except it had happened the exact same way in her dream.

“C’mon Val, keep it together,” she whispered to herself. “This doesn’t mean anything. It could just be a crazy coincidence.”

The only thing in her dream that wasn’t common was the fight with Paulina. Paulina was often mean, but she had never come for her dad like that before. Valerie had always thought they had an understanding that Damon Gray, at the very least, was off-limits. If Paulina said the same things to her in seventh period English, then she’d know for sure something was up.

(She ignored the voice in her head that said that would be too late.)

So when English came around and Paulina couldn’t even look at her, she breathed a sigh of relief. As Lancer launched into his lecture, she glanced around the room. There was Paulina, staring at her desk, scribbling notes. Kwan, behind her, drumming his fingers on the desktop, humming something under his breath. Danny, behind him, head pillowed on his arms, not even pretending to pay attention. She smiled a little; maybe they hadn’t worked out, but he was still pretty cute when he was sleeping.

It happened like this: Danny gasped. She turned to the window to see something radiating green and fast approaching. Paulina screamed.

The world exploded again.

Loop 2

Valerie jolted awake.

—

Loop 0

"Oh my god, Valerie, do you have to be so dramatic? Now we're both in trouble."

Paulina dabbed the finishing touches of her foundation before snapping her compact mirror closed. Her cheekbone still throbbed where Valerie had gotten in one good punch before Fenton got in between them. It would probably bruise later, but Paulina was determined that no one but her would ever see it.

“Don’t say shit about my dad, then, and we won’t have a problem.”

Well, if Valerie would’ve ever reacted to the other things she said, then she wouldn’t have had to go after Mr. Gray. And besides—

“I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.”

Valerie clenched her fist like she was going to hit her again. Paulina half-hoped she would, so that maybe she could come off as just the victim in this. She really didn’t want to deal with her papi if he found out about this little adventure to Principal Ishiyama’s office.

“My dad baked you brownies every year for your birthday, and you called him a fat loser to my face. You should've expected to get punched.”

"You and your dad's fall from grace isn't my fault. All I did was acknowledge it."

"Paulina, could you stop being an asshole for, like, five minutes?" There was Fenton, butting in again. For such a loser, he seemed to have a real problem minding his own business.

"I don't need you to fight my battles, Danny."

"I really just wish you wouldn't fight at al—"

Fenton gasped. She was conscious of something ripping her apart, then she was conscious of nothing at all.

Loop 1

Paulina screamed into awareness.

The numbers on her alarm clock read 7:15—15 minutes before she usually got up. One of her proudest achievements was when she perfected her 10 minute makeup routine, meaning she could get ready for the day with only 45 minutes before the first bell.

This was the first thought on her mind as she calmed her racing heart. Not whatever strange nightmare had woken her up, but that fact that it had robbed her now of her most precious, fought-for, extra 15 minutes of sleep.

She groaned aloud, flopping back in bed and squeezing her eyes shut, like she could go back to sleep through sheer force of will. After a minute, it became obvious that she was still too shaken to doze off again. She flipped off her alarm and, pushing herself to her feet, began her morning routine.

She showered. She ate breakfast—Honey Nut Cheerios, except they were almost out. She’d have to remind Alma to pick up more on her next trip to the store. She did her makeup, adding a little flare in her eyeliner and eyeshadow, since she had the extra time. She put on the outfit she’d laid out last night, careful not to smudge anything, got in her custom-made pink convertible, and left for school.

Later, Paulina would never quite admit how long it took her to notice anything was wrong. In her defense, her days had long since melted into a blur. She barely knew where one ended and the other began in a normal situation.

It wasn’t until Mikey slipped in the cafeteria that she caught on.

Mikey fell, often. But Tyson wasn’t usually the one who messed with him; this was something new. After he stole the sign and Mikey ate it, Paulina watched Tyson look directly at Dash, an odd little blush on his face as the other boy laughed.

Oh, Paulina thought, I’ve seen this before.

In her dream, she’d thought it weird that Tyson was trying so hard to get Dash’s attention when he could clearly do better. She noticed it because it wasn’t normal behavior. This wasn’t an everyday thing. For something like this to happen both in her dream and in her life was just… too weird.

She ran the events of her dream back through her head. Most of the day was the kind of unremarkable that she couldn’t remember for the life of her, except for right now and—

And the end. The fight with Valerie, Fenton intervening.

Her dying.

Well, if it was some fucked-up prophecy, she just had to keep it from coming true, right? She instigated the fight with Valerie there in English. She was big enough to admit that that part was on her. So then all she had to do was keep her big mouth shut and her dream wouldn’t happen.

Easy-peasy.

She couldn’t quite keep her hands from shaking through the latter half of the day. Every second was too long and not long enough. When she finally walked through the door of Lancer’s classroom, she nearly fell into her seat.

“Are you okay?” Kwan whispered from behind her. She coughed out something like a laugh.

The bell saved her from having to give an actual answer as Lancer ushered them all into their seats to begin his lecture. Paulina stared at her desk the whole time, avoiding Valerie’s desk at all costs. She scribbled on a piece of paper just to have something to do with her hands.

And… nothing. Valerie said nothing to her. A quick peek behind her revealed Fenton sleeping at his desk (as always). The tap-tap-tap of Kwan’s fingers on the desk between them kept pace with her beating heart.

She dared for a moment to think it was safe.

Then Fenton gasped. A green light overtook the classroom. She screamed as the world exploded again.

Loop 2

Paulina screamed into awareness.

#danny phantom #dp fanfic #my fic #danny fenton #valerie gray #paulina sanchez #time loop fic #yeah ok so i wrote a whole chapter #dont come for me #i'm still working on switch but this is living in my brain and i needed to get it out

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celleryeller · 2 months

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Game design thoughts- Superliminal

I’ve decided, for shits and giggles and bettering my analysis skills, that I’ll write and post some thought about the game design of games I’m playing for the first time. Not a rating or anything, just a sort of what I learned from it

I just finished Superliminal on the Xbox. Only took around 2 hours for a solid first playthrough. Made in Unity, released 2019.

The main mechanics were around perspective. Unfortunately, this playthrough wasn’t completely blind, because there was a gif set or promo trailer floating around Tumblr a couple years ago, and it showed the mechanics before I got a chance to figure them out myself. But, the premise is picking up objects, and their size depends on the actual perspective when you drop it.

I think those mechanics are pretty fucking cool. I would love to see how the idea was originally prototyped. Or how they came up with the idea. Honestly tomorrow morning I might look into if the creators have done any interviews or anything.

The tutorial was pretty sick though. Instead of ui elements floating and telling you what to do, everything was written on objects in the game. My favorite was “press a to jump” being on a wet floor sign.

Narratively, it did make me ponder about brute forcing puzzles, and trying the same thing over and over. There was one puzzle I was stuck on near the end that I only decided to change perspectives on after I noticed the classic game trick of teleporting the player to create a feeling of infinite looping. While I didn’t walk away fundamentally changed, I did gain a new perspective on how I do puzzles.

The juice was pretty good, too. It got me giddy to pull every fire alarm and use up every fire extinguisher just because the option was there. There might also be achievements for doing that each level? Idk. Superliminal also had some good (although a little too loud) controller shake when an object was made huge and dropped on the ground. There was text I couldn’t read on papers that I wanted to read. The loading screens were great too, and while the bar animations weren’t accurate, the variation and weirdness for each one made up for it.

The limitations, unfortunately, were a touch obvious. The edges of light could shine through objects in a way that initiated something was up. Too many objects bumping around (which didn’t happen often) made a god awful sound. Screen hiccups happened a lot. Honestly, all of it was bearable, but the first one in particular just made me think about how light does that and it pisses me off as a developer that I can’t control it.

Other thoughts:

The walking around and setting felt very reminiscent of The Stanley Parable, especially in the repeated opening segments.

Music cutoffs were well placed and heavily affected the tone.

Late game played heavily with dream with dream sensation, and so perfectly emulated the dream feeling of looking at everything right side up while it feels like you’re laying down.

Played with the medium. I mentioned earlier that it used teleportation for infinite hallway tricks, but at some point it just started teleporting you for the purpose of being jarring.

On a similar note, it loved to play with the first person camera. It knew that you couldn’t look behind you, so it had complete free range to silently change whatever you weren’t looking at. Then when everything was breaking down, it started fucking with you and changing things as you looked at them, so you only saw the change once you moved

There was one level intended to be eerie, and it did that so well it made me google “is Superliminal scary.” The answer is no. I’m just a bit of a paranoid fraidy cat. It ended with a joke so good I instantly forgave it for making me scared.

The humor was also pretty good. It’s a good reminder that games can bet serious AND a little bit silly with it.

The piano music was superb

The options menu was simple and bland. It didn’t need to be anything else. Everything it had could simple fall under “gameplay” or “audio” settings.

Conformed to the wonderful idea that text to speech voices are evil. Fuck tik tok.

Overall, it was a sick game! I might do a couple more replays tomorrow. Or I’ll move to something else.

#yelling #game design thoughts #I’m not sold on calling these ‘game design thoughts’ but eh. it’s true at least #superliminal

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localgardenweed · 2 months

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Ok I was originally gonna write how I wanna go back to Eddsworld and do stuff for it again but felt out of the loop with the modern fandom and shit but ended up being a rant about how I hate Beyond so like gonna write this again but keeping part of the rant cause i need to share how much i cant stand Beyond again

So like I wanna come back to Eddsworld cause as much as it was a dumpster fire for me it was my first real fandom I was apart of online so it holds a place in my heart. I mean probably technically whatever I did on Framecast was my first ever online fandom space but shhhh that dont count i was but a wondering traveler looking for my place in the world. It actually got me into Eddsworld someone made a animation to Youth by Daughter and had me hooked. But still was very important to me and my art development.

Its so crazy to me cause i was into Eddsworld HARD in the 2016-2020 era where alot of the ig modern fandom was born i watched cities fall and crumble I was deep in the amino trenches, Pork Sodaing and seeing so much historical fandom events happen before your eyes. I was watching everyone consume every piece of Prince of Mints and Moho art I was a sucker for them which probably wasn’t okay for like a 5th grader but i definitely turned out all right /j.

I left for a little bit on and off cause Hetalia was choking me and like keeping me prisoner but like it still had a place in my heart for it but like ya know i still was there but idk now I just dont find the same spark anymore from the first go around. Something changed and maybe cause i just had my tastes change and maybe cause my ex-best friend was making fun of my oc all the time but i made him when i was like 11 and figuring out identities and ways to express yourself without sticking to the gender norms and dealing with alot of stuff at the time i finally caved and just didn’t feel the same any anymore about the show.

Cause I loved that fandom more than anything but, I don’t know I just don’t know how to get back that spark and go frolic in the fields with my TomTordOc love triangle of my 5th grader dreams and just be cringe and free and feel joy again but I just cant enjoy the material anymore like THEY ARE MASSACRING MY BOYS WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO THEMM

It doesn’t hit the same and i know i dont need to consume Beyond i doubt anyone actually does at this point but i cant stand beside while they murder everything i loved about the Classic and Legacy eras.

Also just, I think I hit a road block with it too like, I got stuck on where to do and what to do with Eddsworld like. I make aus i made ocs i made a ask blog i made animatics, now what? And like idk i felt weird and like stuck in the mud with them. Also just had the friend falling out who was also the co-creator of the ask blog so now i dont know how to pick it back up all by myself again but them again i really was just doing it by myself all the time anyway so i just have to figure out how to get back into the swing of things

I have some ideas for aus and maybe just finally be free and bring my oc back from the grave for realsies and make you all consume it but, I don’t know. Im scared to come back cause also weirdly alot of the new fans are younger than me or the older fans are older than me so its kinda awkward, also im just awkward im scared to talk to people online, there is and were some people i desperately wanted to be friends with both in and out of Eddsworld but im too scared and either just watch from afar or abuse the Anonymous function in ask boxes.

If i cave enough i might come back to Eddsworld to at least finish my lore for the ask blog cause IM SORRY I LEFT YALL HANGING I HAD SCHOOL AND THEN JUST FORGOT ABOUT IT but forever haunted by the people who like every single post and then i get excited cause i see like 99+ notes waiting for me and i think one of my new posts blew up but no its just the ew boys who screw around likes and reblog and the occasional comment

One day ill return to my rightful birthplace and one day I shall be free and one with nature and draw as much as I want for it and as many ocs i want without someone telling me its cringe or make more for the ask blog or hell start doing animation and animatics again

Ok here is the Beyond rant now if you wanna read it

I feel the difference between Beyond and Legacy is that, Beyond is trying to horriblycopy their older brothers Classic and Legacy and almost dumb it down a bit with more childish humor, and Legacy takes inspiration from Classic: It’s different but a natural difference/evolution. Or the fact a whole new guy was writing it all with a slightly different style so he wrote what he knew idk maybe a bit of a factor idk

Also i cant stand the Tord bait sorry I cant, especially when they used to like get annoyed by the fandom by asking and then just realized he was a cash cow so like now we get Tord merch and the hints and Tori and the skit with the cavemen like OMG TORD- and he got crushed by a rock thanks gang, cause like dude I think as much as we love Tord like maybe this go around respect Larson’s choice to like not use him in the series anymore and take him out but like ig that doesn’t apply to merch so yeah lets do one more go around bring out the red one. Or idk maybe they contacted him and was like “yo dude can we like use him for merch” but i dont think that happened. I think it was just better to leave him absent from the show and be like “yeah no Tord guys, no Tord” and we could have all had our thumbs up and be like “Ok Eddsworld Beyond we are okay with that”. Like I know Red October was for charity but idk it still felt weird to use Tord, like could this really not have just been the main 3 or like bring in some deep cut old characters or side characters did we really need Tord here.

#localgardenweed #the weed is rambling #eddsworld #big rant #sorry for the influx of text posts guys i have no art rn to share to the public #i mean ive been drawing but its a bunch of like irl friend group au stuff and idk if we wanna share it to tumblr dot com yet

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miss-neptune · 2 years

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𝐌𝐘 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐃 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 & 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄!

i might be a blog that mostly uploads about LOA and manifesting, but i’m also really into lucid dreaming and shifting to other realities !! main reasons being that theyre random sleepy impulses that happen when i’m half awake 😭.

first i’ll be talking about my lucid dreaming experience !!

𝐌𝐘 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐃 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄:-

⅌— how did i lucid dream?

in reality- i was taking a small nap because i had just got back from school and i wanted to rest a little bit before studying so i took a nap like a usually do, before falling asleep i usually put a subliminal playlist on that contains my desired subs + void/shifting subliminals and i let them play on loop while sleeping. it’s my daily routine, the moment i fell asleep everything was alright i had random dreams here and there but i suddenly became conscious that i was dreaming.

⅌ — how did i gain consciousness?

it was in one of the random dreams, i was standing next to family members and suddenly everything around me including them began moving in slow motion and that allowed me to wake up consciously in my dream, i gained consciousness and i thought that the fact that they were moving in slow motion was very weird, and i realised that i was dreaming !!

⅌ — how could i confirm that i was lucid dreaming?

in the dream, i didn’t have full control over what i was dreaming (considering it was my first time and i had no intentions of lucid dreaming i just let whatever dream my mind wanted to happen) , i remember a dream suddenly ending and then another starting right after and after those i was fully conscious of my dreams,

i did a reality check, when i had thoughts of waking up i would enter dreams where i would be in my bed, same position as i was in when i fell asleep almost like i did actually wake up, but when i did reality checks (the one i tested was a finger-counting one) i held up my hand and my fingers almost disappeared, they melted off and i wasn’t able to count them, which confirmed that i was still dreaming.

i performed reality checks every time that i switched to another dream randomly- especially dreams where i would wake up in my room- to confirm if i was dreaming or not.

after being confused for a while i decided to shift from this lucid dream to another reality, and i did shift. i shifted to one of my desired realities but what confused me was that i only stayed there for a minute or two i was suddenly pulled back into my lucid dream (up until now i haven’t had an answer to this !! my two possible reasonings could be that 1)i got pulled out because i was having turbulent thoughts about reality shifting at the time meaning i wasn’t a 100% believer, i’ll say a 99% believer so i didn’t expect it to happen, 2)it might be because of the fact that i didn’t have 100% control over the lucid dream from the beginning, keep in mind it was my first time, it wasn’t planned and i had no intentions of lucid dreaming or even shifting to another reality) and after multiple repeated dreams of me waking up in my bedroom (and other concerning ones) i wanted to wake up,

⅌ — how did i wake up?

i will admit, i did feel a lil stuck in the beginning of my waking up process but a quick reminder that i was in control helped everything, i did however have multiple other dreams of me randomly waking up actually happen before i woke up, but nonetheless when i set my intention to be “waking up” i waited for my subconscious mind to pull me out and i officially woke up in my bed. performed reality checks and i was able to confirm that i was back in my current reality !!

some important points i’d like to share from my lucid dreaming experience:

⏧ — lucid dreaming is very easy !! and i mean it. i can confirm it from experience that it’s very easy !! might be an odd experience at your first attempt but it’s totally worth it to experience other realities by shifting through lucid dreaming, or just simply controlling your dreams and whatever you want to see/feel & experience in your dream !!

+ bonus point if you’re into the void and SATS state !! u can easily shift there through ur lucid dream if you’re struggling with reaching those states on ur own :] (not saying that reaching those state through ur lucid dream is the only way though !! just a possible path to it if lucid dreaming is easier for u :] !! )

⏧ — you don’t need to constantly affirm or believe your affirmations (if you do affirm) !! u simply have to set an intention (which btw my intention was to get into the void but i lucid dreamt !! & i could’ve easily shifted to the void through my lucid dream but i shifted to another reality, i’ll for sure try the void state next time <3 ) i personally trusted my subconscious (always do when i fall asleep,) that whatever intention i have while i sleep will appear/happen and this one was one of my first spiritual experiences after adapting the “trusting your subconscious mind” mindset !!

⏧ — lucid dreaming is fun !! if u have any ideas/intentions of lucid dreaming & controlling ur dreams pls do lucid dream !! it was a really nice & wonderful experience :]

𝐌𝐘 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄:-

before i talk about my shifting experience i’d like to share a few points that i’ve been personally dealing with so my experience won’t affect your beliefs/experience in any way !!

1. around this time where i had my first ever shifting experience (when i also had my lucid dream) i didn’t completely believe in shifting. i still don’t feel 100% certain and comfortable with my thoughts about multiple realities and shifting, but i can confirm that they’re real !! as i’ve had numerous experiences with them now, it’s just my own mind & heart struggles a little bit when it comes to spiritual beliefs :] but i am working on it and i am always seeing improvement !!

2. i still haven’t gotten my entire “shifting experience yet” yes, i might have shifted once through my lucid dream but i was pulled out from the “shifting” a few seconds after, the explanation i believe the most is that i pulled out due to the fact that i wasn’t feeling completely positive about the shifting ideology, but i do now !!

3. don’t let my weak shifting experience affect yours :] !! my first attempt at shifting was weak, my second was a bit better and i’m positive that i’ll only see better experiences the more i try !!

now i’ll begin to talk about how i did shift through my lucid dream !!

this time i did set the intention to shift. after realising that i was lucid dreaming i decided to take it to my advantage and to shift to other realities and experience them even if it was temporarily,

i set the intention to shift, literally nothing else. just thought of “i want to shift to this reality” with no objections, no how? no why? no when? nothing. simply believed in my mind that i would. and i did !! i did shift to a specific desired reality of mine.

i didn’t have to affirm or think or build a structure of the reality i wanted to shift to, i simply thought of the existence of this reality with my desired person and shifted there. that’s it. and i did !! even if it was for a few minutes it was a great “first shifting” experience :] i felt really comfortable & really safe :]

that was my first experience with shifting since it was through a lucid dream and i got pulled out into the lucid dream then it ended, it for sure was an unplanned & unexpected experience, but it was a great one !! totally helped with my beliefs & manifesting/affirming routines :] as my subconscious mind confirmed to me that i don’t have to constantly affirm or believe, i can also set intentions, tell my subconscious that this is what i want and depend on it. believe that it will give me whatever i asked for and it did happen !!

𝐌𝐘 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄:-

it wasn’t as powerful as my first shifting experience which was done through a lucid dream, but i was not expecting to feel symptoms so suddenly.

⅌ — how did i do it?

once again, it happened during my nap, i regularly set multiple alarms with each passing 5-10 minutes around the time that i want to wake up because i personally don’t trust myself with setting up only one alarm- but this did become beneficial for me.

while these alarms were randomly going off, i would be pulled out of my sleep temporarily to click on snooze or to just silent them, and then i’ll go back to sleep,

around the time that one of my last few alarms were going off, i woke up (not entirely i was still half asleep) to silent my alarm and wanted to sleep again, but i had the random idea of shifting.

⅌ — how did i shift?

after thinking about shifting during my “transition from wakefulness to sleep” period, (NREM stage 1) and i, again set the intention to shift,

⅌ — how did it feel?

i did not expect myself to feel symptoms so powerful and strong all in one second, the moment i told my subconscious that i wanted to shift i started feeling the symptoms, i felt like i was floating, an intense pressure on my ear (kind of like the one you’ll feel on a plane) were all felt in just one second. it surprised me so much that i suddenly woke up and couldn’t continue my “shifting process”, but i do believe that the next time i try to shift i’ll completely shift and not surprise myself anymore :]

that’s it !! those were my first experiences with shifting and lucid dreaming :] i wanted to share my experience to help people who are dealing with failed attempts or limiting beliefs, here’s proof that you don’t have to fully believe your affirmations, you don’t have to even believe in them, you don’t have to believe in multiple realities, you don’t even need to believe in manifestation or LOA, just trust your subconscious and you’re good to go :D !!

good luck on your future manifestation/shifting/lucid dreaming journeys <3

#law of assumption #manifesting #neville goddard #manifestation #self concept #loa #loassumption #subliminals #shifting realities #reality shifting #shifting #the void #void state #lucid dreaming

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yuukei-yikes · 1 year

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please just rewrite kagepro i'm BEGGING i love your head cannons !!! love you jin but vinnie on top. also haruka is so AAAAAAA and it's so interesting how you talk ab his weird vibes w the dan !! it's like "whoops konoha's gone but have this silly guy instead" and said silly guy is extremely guilty about htis. sorry this is all over the place but yeah. the silly guy filter

i went a lil crazy on this reply. partly an analysis, partly str headcanons. in general about haruka and how he feels about his livelihood 💥💥💥

haruka's survival guilt misadventures💗💗💗

since he saw everything konoha saw it's like he became one-sided friends with everyone because he knew everyone konoha knew and of course cared for them just as much but none of them know him. he knows first hand how much everyone loved konoha because he saw it!!!

i think generally post str haruka&takane deal with a lot of existential crisis LMAO takane because she says it felt like the whole time she was ene could've been a dream and etcetc sorry i wont sidetrack to takane like i keep doing. erm. but her too okay... anyways haruka

He Should've Died Years Ago and didn't and like... in over the dimension he mentions how he used to believe in the prospect of heaven but then as time went on and his condition worsened and his time to go approached, he became more depressed and his thoughts became SUPER negative. he was like THERE IS NO HEAVEN EVERYONE IS JUST LYING TO MAKE U FEEL BETTER BUT AFTER DEATH THERE IS ONLY DARKNESS. and then he does die and neither of these things happen, he doesnt go to heaven and he doesnt stop existing. if we're staying on theme with the heaven thing he mentions, instead he essentially ends up going to hell. he literally gets stuck in Personified Hell watching the konoha cringe comp like. come on.

i hc everyone in the daze can sort of move freely and meet each other EXCEPT haruka precisely bc he still has a link to his body/the outside world. i think it's SO interesting that the daze is truly another dimension and swallows people as they are BUT HARUKA specifically it's his consciousness/spirit/whatever. we dont talk about this enough. the concept of spirits and shit being canon in kagepro. like HE IS THE ONLY ONE who is just a mind with no actual physical body?? so bc of the link to the outside he still has bc of it, he can't move freely inside the daze and can't do anything other than sit there and just Watch what konoha does, hibihiyo timeloop and all. so like. LITERALLY FUCKING HELL. he's alone not only for the 2 years but also for however long konoha was in hibihiyos loop. i think he can only move around in the eighth novel because he has finally lost the link to his body

and haruka speaks of how lonely his life is and by the way he speaks i think he had sort of repressed the way he felt about his illness. cuz he grew up lonely, not only already sick but seeing first hand the way his illness is killing/kills someone else, his mother. cuz before she died he had to see her suffer through it, right.. there is no mention of how she was as a person but i imagine she was either really depressed haruka ended up sick too OR... She was like his dad and talked about it a little insensibly. his father being really cold and straight to the point with "you will also die like her, give or take in 6 years" when he is TEN!!!HE WAS SO SMALL!!!! at the beginning of his novel haruka is like. yeah i have like a year left to live. but oh whatever. everyone dies I'll just hit the sack a little before ideal that's fine.

i could go on for longer abt haruka's parents and different hcs about the kind of people they are but teehee. i won't sidetrack.

haruka grows up conditioned to think that way and represses his feeling of sadness because that's what he was taught to do by his parents and it essentially became his coping mechanism. takane says it herself at one point abt how haruka has a "yeah whatever" attitude. like word for word

it's only by the next summer when that year actually goes by and he is DYING that he starts despairing and becoming super negative about it and ends up begging for his life because he doesnt wanna die.

that defense mechanism that has fallen apart since then because of his despair when dying sort of built itself back up when haruka enters the daze. once inside the daze doesn't haruka always seem so offbeat and exactly like "yeah whatever"?? because what else is he supposed to do lmao. there is nothing to hope for. there is nothing here. there is no one or nothing to smile at or for. there's just this thing piloting his body outside doing shit he'd like to do and meeting people he'd like to meet. in fact he even seems bitter

that's why str haruka is generally more serious? ofc he's still happy and all cheerful like always but in the canon content str haruka feels like. he really feels grown up, compared to others. same goes for characters like ayano&takane, mostly bc we see them again after a timeskip but still. with haruka especially i think!! thats also why i think jin chose him specifically to express this weird growing up feeling.

so. erm. now he's back and of course he's happy and excited but all these feelings HAVE a lasting impact. they dont just disappear u know. he thought he'd die, then he did. and now he's alive?? and on top of it an adult?? and has to figure out what the hell to do?? being back from the dead after is already a complicated situation by itself. and there's all these complicated feelings with all these people he loves but they dont even know him and he's very happy everyone seems to be willing to get to know him but he can sense how sad they are about konoha, because he Saw the friendship they established with it.

and haruka's like... i am the only person here who ended up bizarrely benefiting from everything that happened. because for everyone else, if for example clearing eyes wasnt evil, they kind of would've made it through. mekatrio wouldve suffered their sad backstories, them+ayano&kenjirou would've suffered ayaka's loss anyway yeah, but further than that it wouldn't have gone downhill. takane and ayano wouldnt have had to die, shintaro wouldnt have become a shut in, kano wouldve never hidden anything from his siblings, hibiya and hiyori wouldn't meet that fate in the city. and haruka would die at 17 years old, period!!!

he is so guilty for being alive when the very thing that helped him survive put everyone else through so much pain. he is so guilty for being thankful for it. ofc its NOT LIKE THAT, OF COURSE HE SHOULDNT BE GUILTY, but i think that's how haruka sort of receives this sudden survival.

not only that but... someone else died for him to be here too. haruka isn't only guilty for that bizarre gratitude but also... konoha!!!

how much does he deserve this when u put konoha in question too?? people who loved haruka, like takane and shintaro, have already mourned him. while konoha is being mourned by like 7 more people. people that again, HARUKA ALSO LOVES BUT THEY DON'T REALLY KNOW HIM!! technically thats not fair then. so maybe konoha deserves it more!?!?! of course haruka is human and konoha isn't, and it's HIS body, but it's because of konoha his body is functioning at all now. so is he robbing it of its life?? but didnt it also rob haruka the body in the first place, by tossing him out and leaving him behind?? this is all the shit i think haruka is conflicted over lmao. who deserved it more or at all... but does it even matter bc konoha IS here and its helping haruka stay alive by playing its awakening eyes role.

but also by feeling guilty over the life he's so happy to have back isn't he undervaluing everyone's willingness to get to know him and honor konoha?? undervaluing takane&shintaro's excitement to reunite with him?? undervaluing even his own happiness at having another chance at life?? well. he has to navigate through it. and he paints pictures at the same time because groceries need to be bought and bills needs to be paid, and aw man, MORE dishes?? he JUST washed those. and after that he should remember to clean the bathroom, its been a while. and do the laundry the dirty clothes pile is getting ridiculous. AND REPEAT!!!!!! because ur a grown up :3

but... he does love painting these pics... and he does love all the snacks he buys after doing groceries!!! and clean clothes are so nice especially when theyre warm from the sun!!! rent is worrying but he's got a roommate who helps him pay it!!! he's always loved his roommate too and has wanted to see her again for so long and now she's there right next to him when he wakes up everyday!!!!!!! and if it were that they can't pay rent they've got so many friends willing to help out!!!!! and he also loves all these friends!!!!! his life...... IS GOOD!!! LIFE... IS GOOD....!!!!!!!!!

he loves life he loves being alive. even if there are so many complicated feelings haruka is so happy he is alive. and wherever it is konoha is happy too. embrace the world with childlike wonder and joy, OKAY?? PEACE AND LOVE ON PLANET EARTH.

#ask tag #kagenalysis #haruka: u go through the worst breakdown of ur life then go grocery shopping in the next hour #haruka kokonose

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swanno-arts · 1 year

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What if you have the power to control your actions, the world around you, the people who come and go? What if you were in control?

Are you really in control?

The thoughts cannot be leashed anymore <3 SO, I present to you all: META, PLEASE AU

All infos and rambles under the cut! This ones a long trip boys

WHAT IS META, PLEASE?

Meta, Please AU is an alternate universe to Papers, Please loosely inspired by Undertale. This is an Inspector and M. Vonel centric AU that focuses on the game's meta aspects with its Multiple Endings and Timeline System as main focuses. A foil of one controlled by a player who wishes to break the loop and one controlled by the narrative who wishes to remain.

PREMISE - STORYLINE

The October labor lottery is complete. Your name was pulled.

The Inspector had lived a normal life up to this point. There was nothing out of the ordinance. Though, things began to feel a bit strange the day he was stationed in East Grestin's borders. Somehow, he managed to fail almost instantly. He was jailed for falling into debt. He closes his eyes, accepting fate.

He opened his eyes, not to the sight of the cell he was in, but to a static void. All there is in his sight are strange rectangles with white outlines, all forming a chain-like line. In each rectangles are information - of his days. The days he had previously went through. The chain stopped on the very same day he was jailed. This is a strange dream, he thought. But it felt weird. It felt so weird. And almost without thought, he reached for the first box. Day 1.

And he was back again. Walking to the booth. It was like a severe case of deja vu, but he really was here again, the first day. And that's when he realized,

I have the power to control.

At least, that's what he long thought. The days continues, and again and again, he somehow fails. Ending after Ending after Ending. He used this ability to help, to restart, to save someone... but on other times, he uses it from curiosity.

What would happen if I shoot a guard? What would happen if I let that man pass?

It was fine, right? He is in control after all. Everyone around him were just NPCs minding their business. It was him and the world. ...Not.

The Inspector had always find one person a bit stranger than the other. M. Vonel, Investigator for the MOI. The man stood out from the rest of the people that come through the booth. He had one bad Ending encounter with him too many. Something about Vonel was not normal.

That would later prove itself to be correct. To put it simply, Vonel is like The Inspector - aware. From the very beginning, Vonel has kept watch of every and all of Inspector's runs. He watch him fail and fail over and over again. But, it was as if this was meant to be. When Inspector broke character and confronted Vonel about the whole timeline fuckery, Vonel also breaks character as he explains that they were all stuck to a 30 Day Loop, from Inspector's arrival in Grestin all the way to his supposed audit. Vonel explains that he holds the key to Inspector's freedom and to obtain it, he has to get Ending 20 - The Loyal Ending. But something about how Vonel acts... felt like he was against the idea of Inspector being free.

After more failed endings, Inspector snaps and demands answers from Vonel. Why was he acting so strange? Why was he gatekeeping his way to Ending 20? Vonel simply never answered... up until Ending 20 itself finally rolls in.

Vonel finally explained how he's similar to him, but different at the same time. Unlike Inspector who's under the control of a player entity, Vonel was controlled by the narrative. Vonel cannot intervene the Inspector nor change the story, unless his script allows him to. He was like other NPCs before, but has long gained awareness to the meta timeline. However, this meant that if Inspector were to break free of the loop, towards Endless, the loop will no longer be relevant - that extends to Vonel's own existence. He understood that he could not exist beyond the scripted loop, and so he has done everything in his power to divert Inspector from ever leaving the loop - all the way to admitting setting the premise to terrorist attacks and even the entire EZIC shenanigans. He told Inspector that all he wanted is to live, to not be locked away in a storyline that would later not matter.

The Inspector wanted nothing more than freedom. He demanded that Vonel let him have the key. An altercation happened, and with all of Vonel's might - he resorted to sending Inspector back to the start.

But The Inspector was determined to be free. And he knew Vonel cannot stop him, no matter what he throws at him.

WHY ARE INSPECTOR AND VONEL THE ONLY ONES AWARE?

Inspector: He is the protagonist and essentially Player Character. What he does is dictated by player actions and choices. He has the ability to steer the direction of the story through his choices.

M. Vonel: Vonel is a unique NPC whose behavior stands out from any other NPCs. He appears in the booth as if waiting, he seems to know about The Inspector and his actions in great detail even to the point of knowing Inspector helped only one EZIC agent, etc.

WHAT INSPIRED THIS AU?

Undertale and its meta timeline fuckery. Mostly from Sans' dialogues during his fight.

Papers, Please's timeline system with branches and multiple endings.

The "key" referring to the passcode given by the game only after completing Ending 20. The passcode to Endless Mode.

A reoccurring use of the number 8. Papers, Please being released on 8/8, the 8th entrant being an event trigger for scripted attacks, 8 as a loop symbolism, 8 as a symbol that resonates with authority, self-confidence, inner-strength, inner wisdom, social status and ego in numerology.

The "BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU" analogies.

Lucas Pope mentioning that all endings are canon.

---

AND THATS MY RAMBLE. There's definitely still some more bits to the entirety, but this is mostly the main premises and info to it!!!! I HOPE YALL ENJOYED MY LITTLE BIG NONSENSE!!!

#swan .txt #meta please au #meta please #au #alternate universe #papers please #papers please au #// <33 IM MILDLY NORMAL AS YOU CAN SEE <3333333 #//i also realize i never draw the inspector consistently lmao

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temporalreverie · 10 months

Text

ponysona ref sheet :3

[text transcript: Carrie Go-Round, or Carrie for short It/She, Trans Mare, Lesbian Can prance through air with its saddle on. Gives carousel sky-rides to help others. It likes going around again, solving puzzles, helping with problems, music, good fortune, and going around again. Beholden to the whims of its fate & cycles, it tries its best to be carefree but secretly feels aimless at times.]

Extended character bio & art process thoughts below the cut v

Carrie Go-Round is a unicorn with carousel themed magic. Carousel magic works in mysterious ways. It can direct the magic somewhat and hone certain patterns through repetition, but it’s ultimately at the whims of the fate chosen for it. Usually everything works out just fine though.

While actively using its carousel magic and wearing its saddle, it can prance on top of air. It takes others on rides through the sky using this, giving them time and space to think through a problem they’ve been having. These rides can involve a conversation, a magical spectacle of lights and music, or simply peace and quiet, whatever will help the other pony best. Flying, putting on light shows, and making music are all come naturally when the magic is in service of another.

Carrie has adapted an outwardly carefree and playful nature. It’s partially its true self, and partially a defense mechanism in response to the lack of control that the carousel makes it feel. When you’re stuck going around in one big circle, it’s easy to feel aimless and confused. Helping someone else with a problem of theirs always makes it feel better though. It's also fond of rhymes, puzzles, and riddles.

It’s somewhat taller than average. Not very strong, but when its magic is active any passengers feel light as a feather. Both the color and shape of its hair is all natural.

—

Art process thoughts:

An idea for a ponysona design popped into my head the other day and I'm really happy with how it turned out! Multiple times I've played with designing a ponysona by taking more grounded and literal elements of myself but none of those struck me as exciting or fun. Being freely indulgent and overdesigning a pastel magic horse is way better.

In terms of the drawing itself, this is probably the closest you'll ever see me mimic the G4 artstyle! I referenced a couple screenshots of pinkie to get an idea for scale, and then I cut apart my rough sketch into chunks so I could stretch out the neck & back because I like when the bodies are longer than proportions on the show. This also doubles as making its tallness present in the art but really I would've done that regardless.

The carousel concept is a fun way to tie in the colorful aesthetics with themes of cycles and fate. Girls love to be stuck in a loop of mayyyybe their own choosing. And it also means I get to bring back the saddle & bridle fashion concept Lauren Faust considered for the show's pitch bible. It's definitely kind of weird but in a fun way.

Carrie Go-Round like Merry-go-round but also like Carrie short for Carousel but also like Carry because she physically carries other ponies & helps lift them emotionally. Do you get it.

This is my first time adding ALT text to my images; I did my best to be thorough but not too verbose.

Miscellaneous design thoughts: I love pink and green together! IRL horse coat patterns are so so cute I wish more MLP characters had them. Plus the bubbly shapes on the hooves match her cloud prancing. Duality is everything to me: two different shapes and colors of hair, two symbols on its cutie mark, two little eyelashes. Although I tried less to make it look like me, its hair still has the same general shape (however mine will only rarely form curls like that all on its own). Also the cutie mark arrows being green is a slightly inspired by a real dream I had about getting my cutie mark:

I've been meaning to make a ponysona for a long time now. All in all this was very fun to do and now I'm excited to draw more of my own OCs and their interactions.

#ponysona #mlp oc #carrie go-round #my art #art #unicorn #mlp fanart #carousel #my ocs

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motorcyclebucket · 2 years

Note

hi can i please get a mf uhhh post-canon/post-"hold on" ending engineer mark & an overprotective captain? like, they never let him go first on potentially dangerous missions, shove him behind them when anything remotely threatening (be it a noise or a creature) happens, and act pretty close to the paranoid captain ending in terms of how they treat him? It's all for his safety, they say fearfully, they can't afford to lose him permanently now that the wormhole's gone. How would he react to that?

Thank you for requesting! i apologize for a bit of a wait, i hope this turned out ok! (also i love the concept of fighting-fluff i will be using that!! ^v^)

Words: 767

Warnings: Lil bit of arguing, Captain starts crying, Post hold on ending

=====================

“- And if i'm not back there to fix it-!” Mark shouted at you, before his face contorted from anger to confusion, then realization. “If im not- I- I built the warp core. I- did I do this?” he seemed uneasy on his feet. He stepped forward, almost stumbling as you caught his shoulder, helping him sit down. “I built the warp core. This was my fault.” he said, tears pricking at his eyes. You rubbed your hand on his back as he gave you a tired smile. “I- Captain, i'm tired.”

“I know, buddy. I know.” you said, pulling him into a hug as he cried. He kept muttering out ‘i'm sorry's as he cried, letting out his frustrations. He had been stuck in his own man-made hell for

what must have been eternity for him. He hadn't realized what he had done. He was just doing what he thought was best.

As the ship shook around the two of you, you made a promise.

If- When the next loop started, you wouldn't let go. Not again. You were going to make sure nothing bad ever happened to him again.

And everything went dark.

--------------------------------

You were thankful the universe had some kind of sympathy. You couldn't have been happier than when you felt the slight chill of the Cryopod as you woke up, as if everything that had happened was just some bad dream.

You stepped out, being met with Mark handing you a cup of coffee. The large metal doors that covered the window pulled apart, showing the new planet. It was beautiful. You had made it. Everyone had made it. Everything seemed like it would be ok.

And you still remembered the promise you made yourself.

Nothing bad was going to happen to him ever again. Not if you had anything to say about it.

--------------------------------

It had taken weeks, maybe months of convincing you to let him go down to the surface. And even then, you would be by his side the entire time.

What had gotten into you? Did you know something about the planet? Why wouldn't you tell him?

The day the two of you did go down to the planet, you both went on recon in a nearby forest. If there were any signs of foreighn movement, any unknown sounds, he was immediately moved behind you, gun raised in the direction of the ‘danger’.

You kept acting like that for days. What had happened to you? He knew you as someone who was relatively laid back, but had the ability to lead with an iron fist if needed. And now? You were downright paranoid. And it was high time he confronted you about it. He was tired of being coddled by you. He knew how to protect himself and could handle his own in a fight.

“Captain, what has gotten into you? Ever since you woke up out of Cryo, you've been acting weird.” he said, having cornered you in an empty room. “Please, Captain, just talk to me! I just want you to talk to me. I want to help!”

It was those words that broke you. Tears filled your eyes as you started crying, Mark pulling you into a hug as you cried, sobs shaking your body.

“Mark, I'm so, so sorry. After everything that happened, I just- I want to keep you safe. I care so much about you, I can't risk you dying again.”

‘Again?’

“Captain, what do you-” he was cut off by a breathy laugh mixed with a sob as you pulled back to look at him, cupping his face gently. “Of course you wouldn't remember, nobody remembers. The wormhole is gone, Mark. If I lose you, It's permanent. I can't afford to lose you. I care so much about you, I can't live in a universe without you.” You said, fearfully. You could read the confusion on his face as he pulled you back.

“I- I'm sorry I don't know what happened. I don't know what I did in- wherever it was you were. Another universe, whatever it was. But I promise you I am never leaving you. I’ll be right by your side this whole time.” he said, rubbing circles on your back.

After a few moments of silence, you spoke up. “It’ll be difficult, but I'll do my best to explain everything.” you said, pulling back again. “It’s ok captain, take your time. I’ll be by your side no matter what.”

You didn't let go of him, and even though he didn't remember it, he wasn't going to let go of you either.

=====================

Hope this was alright!!

#anon request!#iswm #x reader #iswm x reader #in space with markiplier #head engineer mark x reader #post hold on ending

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sansxfuckyou · 1 year

Text

It's fungal not floral

Summary: There's a lesser known counterpart of Hanahaki, a fungal disease, it festers in your lungs just like the sister disease Hanahaki does, but instead it comes up due to some form of hatred- the only way to save yourself is to let go.

But, George has a hard time doing that when it's someone he holds very close to heart.

Warnings: Crying, toxic friendships, graphic depiction of disease, body horror, check tags for further warnings.

Authors Note: banger idea and spike in emotional viscosity is because of @sobredunia who splayed her heart out on the table for me while I was writing this and all of a sudden shit got real, I really hope this fic did the idea justice, also my writing style changed since I last wrote for them so I think it'll be a quaint 4K word punch to the gut, also snf cause I am a total slut for red/blue pairings, and not as important but this fic a second of two things, one being giving George plant motifs (done over here the first time) and the second time someone has eaten eggs in one of my fics, and it's George, again, what the fuck.

George heaved a heavy sigh as he ran the flat edge of a butter knife along his tongue where fungal spores threatened to gather, making the color more pastel than it already was. One hand kept his mouth held open, the other held onto the butter knife tightly. He knew exactly why this was happening to him- he hated someone, he just didn't know who. He had already eliminated those who he knew it couldn't be from his list of people who he was close to.

He had scratched out Wilbur, Sapnap, Dream, hell, even Quackity, but he's begun leaning towards Quackity being the one whose causing this mess of his respiratory system. He couldn't possibly hate any of them, could he? No, no he couldn't, they've stuck with him for this long what good would it do him to push them away (even if for his own health).

George wants to keep dwelling but he feels a constriction in his chest, he drops the scraping knife and wheezes out a couple coughs. Bright, neon, green spores come pouring from betwixt his lips and leave his mouth dry on the way out. His throat feels raw and dry, like someone took chalk dust and slathered a steak in it, he knows it's wet underneath the dry casing. Breathing feels different now with the consistent fungal casing on his trachea but he won't cut them off because they're his friends.

His hands grip porcelain tightly, he loves them all so much, why? Why does he have to release one of them? Cut ties with them, he might as well just isolate himself, ghost all of them see if that gets rid of it. Tears are welling up in his eyes, he couldn't bring himself to just drop all of them like that, it'd be cruel. He's choking on his own breath as he sobs, his tears hit the sink and slide down the curved ivory, glistening in the LED light. His body quakes, he doesn't want to let go, he doesn't care if one or two of them are bad for him, he doesn't want to let go.

They've done so much for him!

How could he just pick and choose until he stumbles across the one that's causing this?

He can't.

He'll just suffer instead.

He'll suffer and stay quiet about it because his friends care to much they'd make a big deal out of it.

---

George doesn't stream today, he was supposed to do another shock stream for some god awful reason except with some weird damage loop around so they'd have to protect each other.

Instead George can barely bring himself to get out of bed; his sheets all have spores layered on top of them, a green tone or that of mildew. He wakes up his jaw agape and he can feel the mycelium that's dug into his tongue and between his gums. His hands feel heavy with the mushrooms that had formed over his fingers and the sheets- he yanks them up and the growth shreds easily. He would yawn, but all he can bring himself to do is blink as he looks around his partially sunlit room. His mouth is dry and chalky, even more so than usual. His case has gotten worse over the last couple weeks, he's stopped leaving his apartment entirely, ordering groceries and wiring over the money.

He swings his legs over the edge of his bed, when his feet touch the hardwood ground it feels carpeted with the amount of spores and developing mycelia. He simply looks blearily around his room til his eyes land on his alarm clock, it's almost ten, his stream with Sapnap was supposed to start ten minutes ago. He grabs his phone as he stands up and stumbles to the kitchen, he cringes at the sight of concerned texts from Sapnap. He can't fess up to what's really wrong and he doesn't want to lie either, he leans against the counter as he hesitates to open them up.

George feels his hand shake as he places his phone face down the counter.

(it hurts him to ignore them just as much as it hurts them to be ignored)

The last space that isn't absolutely covered in spores because even if he's in his deathbed he has some decency. He doesn't even know what he wants to eat, he just knows that salt helps kill mushrooms. He grabs a bowl he's used three times in a row with nothing more than a rinse in between and grabs salt from the cupboard. He pours a sizable amount into the bowl, it tastes like shit no matter how he waters it down but it makes the casing in his throat die down. He opens his fridge, it's seemingly bare, a carton of eggs, a bottle of milk, lettuce, and little bits of leftovers that have no doubt gone bad. He doesn't want to fill his fridge with food he won't eat, it's hard to down much of anything that's a solid given his current state.

He pulls out the eggs and milk, he places them down beside the bowl and flicks on the burner, a pan already waiting as he prepares the eggs. With the amount of salt in the bowl it's sludgy even with two eggs and a bit of milk, he whisks it haphazardly- his mind is elsewhere and he doesn't know how to fix it. All he can think about is how this isn't helping, about how he isn't letting go, about how he isn't really fixing his disease. He knows logically just distancing himself isn't actually letting go and cutting ties, but at least they might take him back if he only distances himself until this over.

His phone buzzes loudly against the counter and he cringes a bit, he flips it over to find another concerned text from Sapnap. In a burst of foolishness he flicks it open and starts to type out a response faster than he can stop himself- but at least he catches his actions before he can send it. He deletes the entire message before he can read what he wrote and he really should respond but he doesn't. Instead he checks to see if anyone else messaged, he finds worried texts from Karl, Wilbur, Quackity, his parents, and a couple others.

But not Dream.

Dream hasn't texted him in forever despite how much George tried to reach out, tried to make arrangements; he'd move mountains to get an ounce of attention from him. The constriction in his chest grows tighter and he hacks up chunks of coral mushroom, they're bright pink and he swears red droplets are on them. He tastes iron in his mouth but he ignores it as he shuts off his phone again and focuses on the eggs. It's fine that Dreams ignoring him, it's fine that he won't respond, it's fine that he isn't getting what he needs- he won't tell that to Dream though. No one needs to know what's tearing him up inside to the point of spores taking residence in his lungs if he can't figure it out himself.

(he knows exactly what it is but he won't let himself realize)

George bitterly swallows down the heavily over seasoned meal, it burns what little of his taste buds still work at this point in time. He's been on this diet for a month now, just to kill the mushrooms, they take most of it anyways. He's sure his body is fine even though he's destroyed all his mirrors to never look at his sickly form again. He hears his phone buzz again, he doesn't look at it.

And again.

He ignores it.

And again.

He forces down the last of his breakfast and grabs his phone, he doesn't open it, he doesn't want to see what plea for a sign he's still alive he's getting from Sapnap. He left him on read that's good enough, that shows he's still breathing doesn't it? His phone keeps vibrating in his hand and he can't tell if it's from messages or his own hand shaking.

He ends up on the couch, it's coated in spores of a mildew hue and a neon tone, they match the black leather terribly. A puff of spores burst up when George drops down on the couch and he simply hates this sensation. He knows it won't go away until he let's go, but he doesn't want to, he'd sooner die than give up one of his friends no matter the cause. He leans his back along the arm rest, the ground around that side of the couch is thick with mycelia and forming mushrooms. Poor Sapnap, he must be so worried about George, poor everyone, all of them keep sending texts, asking him if he's okay- and he's just not responding. He's hurting them and in the process he's hurting himself as well to extents he can barely comprehend, someone has to get hurt and this time it'll be everyone.

Tears rise to his eyes and throat aches as bursts of spores go off in his lungs, he hack and coughs until he's practically choking on the cloud of damp spores. They float down the floor, spattered with the crimson of his blood and glowing with a new genus prospering inside of his chest. His form is slumped over the armrest of the couch, his rib cage resting on the tainted fabric with his arms hanging over the edge. His body is so sore, his mind is so tired, he just wants to sob and not have webbed mycelia crawl ever closer to his lips.

But he can't let go of whose causing this, he doesn't want to, he isn't ready.

(he knows this is killing him but why should he let himself live like this)

His phone keeps buzzing, but he's in too much a haze to even bother checking just to confirm it's Sapnap. He's sure it's just some pleading question as to what's going on and he's not answering the questions he's being asked. He grips his phone to toss it to the other end of the couch before trying to get into a comfy position where he'll be able to hack a lung out easily.

---

3 messages unread

Sapnap: please just tell me whats going on George was it something i did? is this on me, if it is i can try and make it right

im coming to England just to find out myself George

---

More time passes and somehow this is the third time this month George has ordered a box of salt, kosher, Himalayan, black, table- he's tried every kind and none of it helps him anymore. Now he uses it to scrub his dishes and wash his clothing and the sheets because if it won't kill the spores in his lungs then maybe it'll at least help him lie to himself about his state. Maybe if his clothing isn't covered in fungus he won't feel so dirty, maybe if he slept in clean sheets he'd feel better about himself.

He lays in bed, the sheets are clean and he relishes in the fact, he's achieved it with god awful amounts of salt in his washing machine (the poor thing must be in agony). He knows that he's absolutely terminal by now, he feels faint consistently and his everything aches no matter what he does to make it stop. He sees his reflection in the black of his phone screen and he wants to vomit with how zombified he looks.

Mycelium creeps outward from his lips like lichtenberg fractals and his skin, now disturbingly thin, bulges where thick roots of mycelia wrap around his veins and shoot down his spine. His eyes look hollow and when he opens his mouth it's all white, the thick casing of spores crack when he moves his tongue- he's shocked he can salivate at this point. When he looks at his hands he sees them in a glaze of mildew hues, neon green, and red from all the times he's raised his hands to cover his mouth when he coughs. His hair no longer retains it's dark hue, it's lightened up with the fungus sapping his nutrients and the spores latching onto individual strands, causing it to clump.

He looks like a monster.

He's glad no one has seen him in months, they'd all run screaming if they saw the hideous creature he's become.

He doesn't want to move anymore, he has no excuse to just stay in bed aside from the fact he's literally dying. No fungus tries to hold him down and his sheets are thin and light, he just sees no reason in getting up even though he's hungry. He should eat, he really should, he knows the food in his fridge is rotting and the door dasher must be getting concerned with the fact he only buys salt, bleach, and Tylenol these days (even if he was buying healthy the mushrooms on his apartment door are also a red flag).

His phone buzzes and he picks it up, a message from Sapnap, he's tempted to just ignore it but when he sees the preview he's just confused. Why the fuck would Sapnap need to know if he's changed his lock since last time he visited? He gives a quick two letter response before turning off his phone, silence washes over his dark room. The lights are off and the blinds are down but light still filters in between the cracks, despite that the luminescent mushrooms that have taken residence inside of him glow under the skin and on the hardwood floor.

And then he hears his apartment door open.

Panic briefly washes over him, but then he hears Sapnaps voice calling out a meek 'hello?' and he can rest easy again. How stupid, panicking over someone breaking into his apartment, it'd obviously be Sapnap just visiti-

Wait.

Why is Sapnap at Georges door?

Last time George checked they did not live anywhere remotely close by.

Just to investigate George limps out of bed, on the way to the door he grabs a Tylenol and downs it dry. He knows it won't start working for a couple minutes, but if Sapnap really is at the damn door and he isn't just hallucinating he'd rather have it kick in than not have it. He pushes open his bedroom door, vines of mycelia trail down the white paint that's peeling away as spores integrate themselves into wood. He walks- he stumbles, gripping onto the nearest wall for support as he makes his way to where his couch rests. He finds a concerned Sapnap looking very, very confused and almost sick with worry as he stares at the mycelium littered across Georges apartment.

"Sapnap what the fuck are you doing here?" George choked out, his mouth didn't want to properly form all the words and his voice felt higher than before with how little he used it, it was quiet. Sapnap still perked up at his voice and turned to face his sickly friend.

He rushed over to capture George in a rib crushing hug and despite the fact he was shorter he still managed to lift the Brit with a worrying ease, "fuck, you're okay, you're alive- I was so scared George," Sapnap only barely managed to choke out the words, the chill rooted deeply into George seeped into him but he didn't care. He was hesitant to release his grasp on his frail friend, "I thought you were dead."

George gives him a questioning look, "and you hopped on a plane to Britain just to make sure? Are you fucking insane?" His question comes off a little bit roughly but if anything he's touched by the sentiment, still worried about what would happen if he was dead and Sapnap was stranded here.

Sapnap gives a bit of a laugh, "they say love makes you do crazy things don't they? Or is that not a saying in Britain," Sapnaps hands rest on Georges wrists and what little untainted blood remains in the Brits body goes to his face. He looks pale as a ghost and the slightest blush on his face looks like blood on a wedding dress with how much it stands out.

The warmth Sapnap gives off is addicting and George slips his wrists from the grip before interlocking fingers instead, it anchors him into reality, this must be how ghosts feel, "everyone's heard that saying," he sounds so sure of himself, he steps a bit closer to Sapnap before leaning into him. He feels dead, he feels so dead now that he has someone healthy and alive to compare himself to, it's like he's wasting away, "I'm sorry."

Sapnap gives George a perplexed look as he leads them over to the couch, the leather is torn in some spots (it wasn't last week), "what for? I'm sure you had your reasons, maybe you thought it would help the Saprophytis in it's onset, I'm just glad I got here before it could kill you," he gives a hum of as he guides George to just rest. He ends up on top of Sapnap to some extent, ankles resting on the armrest, Sapnap places his chin on the top of Georges head as his partner nuzzles into him, "so, care to cough it up?"

"I think I'll try to avoid hacking up mycena and coral mushrooms if I have a word in it Snapnap," George said with a forced chuckle, a puff of spores filter past cracked lips at the singular laugh.

The spores aren't much more than a red mist these days, at least it wets his painfully dry lips. The red settles onto his terribly stained shirt and it blends with the preexisting blotches of spores and blood. He finds himself coughing, he brings up his hands to his mouth and his entire body shakes as he draws his knees to his chest- he slumps a bit lower on Sapnaps torso. When he pulls back his hands they're dripping with crimson and red chunks of coral mushrooms, he feels disgusted in himself. No one should have to see that, especially not the only one to haul so much ass to check if his friend was okay.

George stared at his hands in horror for a brief moment, Sapnap only looked intrigued and mildly worried, "fuck I'm sorry," he mumbled out as he wiped his hands on his pants, they were covered in bloody hand prints from the cuff to the waist- he heaved a sigh but couldn't help a smile when Sapnap wrapped an arm around his midsection.

"You can't help the symptoms," Sapnap stated with a shrug, he rested his hand atop Georges, "now, I'm begging you, cuss out whoever you hate so much that it's done this to you," George gives him a hesitant look, "please."

George glances to the side, "you won't get mad at me?"

"Of course not, I wouldn't get mad at you for evading death, George that's stupid," Sapnap said, he gently ran his thumb in circles across the top of Georges hand, he could feel the mycelia under skin and the almost scale like make up of the spores on Georges fingers- it was different, but it was still George.

"It's Dream, I just, he won't respond to my messages, he won't reach out, he hasn't talked to me in months but he streams, so I watch, see if there's a hint as to why he's been giving me the silent treatment, but there isn't," George explained, his breaths were short with how crowded his lungs were. He had to pause to hack up chunks of coral mushroom, stringy bits of mycena came out along with it. They looked like guts in his hands, coated in a sludgy blood, he tossed them to the floor, "he just wouldn't give me attention no matter how much I was begging for it."

Sapnap nodded a bit, he gave a hum of understanding, "and you hate him for that?"

George nodded fiercely, "I guess so, I can't think of anyone else who could be the cause this," he hacked and coughed again, the blood dripped from his forever stained crimson hands as chunks of fungus tore up the casing in his mouth and throat- he could feel them again despite the sting. He threw the mushrooms to the floor before wiping down his bloody hands, he noticed the drops of red on his friends hoodie, "sorry."

"Don't worry, shit happens," Sapnap said, his casualness shocked George, but it was the least he could do despite the fact he was fearing for his partners life given how much blood he's hacking up and how malnourished he feels, "is there anything else on your mind?"

George paused, "I don't think so, I just wish he'd pay more attention to me sometimes."

"What? Am I not enough? I spontaneously paid for a flight to fucking Britain just to check in on you and that's not enough," Sapnaps voice is playful even as he takes Georges bloody hands in his own.

George rolled his eyes a bit as he let his knees drop from his chest, he pushed himself a little bit higher up Sapnaps torso, "yeah, definitely not, you didn't even smuggle me some pop over the borders," he sounds playful as he speaks even though his voice is cracked and raw due to lack of usage over the last few month.

Sapnap brought a hand to Georges chin, tilting up his head a bit, "I love you dude, you know that right? You know I'd jump through some insane hoops just to make sure you're feeling good?" George nodded a bit, only to be taken aback at an unprompted and chaste kiss.

There's an awkward silence.

"Shit I shouldn't've done that, jumped the gun on my end," Sapnap said, grasping for excuses and apologies as a distinctive red rose to his face, "tasted kinda bloody anyways."

George simply stares at Sapnap, the words registering, "the first time you kiss me and all you can think of is how bloody it tasted? What a romantic," a lilt of laughter rests on his voice and he shies away from Sapnaps form just a bit.

"What else am I supposed to do!? Compliment you on your dry lips, say that your veins are looking absolutely magnificent? Throw me a bone George," Sapnap said dramatically, raising the back of his hand to his forehead as though offended at such a thought, he's caught off guard when George pushes him into the sofa slowly, "well someones taking things fast, you seem like the kind of guy who'd want a candle lit dinner before we get down to fucking, have I misjudged you George? My dear partner in crime how badly have I made assumptions about you?"

Georges face heats up, "I was gonna kiss you again, but now that you mention it, yeah, I do want a candlelit dinner before we kiss," he's smirking a little bit.

"What about premarital hand holding?" Sapnap asked, he looked smug as he spoke despite the fact he was pinned under another person, albeit a person whose weaker than a wet kitten.

George gasped in faux shock, "how scandalous! I'm shocked you could even say such a thing," his exclamation dissolves into laughter as he goes on with the bit, he leans down and kisses Sapnap again; this time he can actually relish in the reaction such a simple motion garners.

He splays himself atop Sapnap, back pressed to his torso, he can feel his partners heartbeat reverberate in his frail body. He let's himself slide into the crack between Sapnaps side the backrest of the couch, he rests a good portion of himself on top of Sapnap. He's, to put simply, smitten with his friend at the moment- he can't really blame himself for it either. Kissing the guy who decided to fly on over to Britain on a whim, just snuggling on the couch, a dream come true.

Georges phone buzzes, it's probably just Karl. He sits up a little bit before pulling it out of pocket only to find it's Dream, yikes. Maybe if he sent the message two hours earlier he would justify it with a response, but he just fessed up to hating the guy. He places his phone on the coffee table, a hit of coughing catches him off guard and keels over Sapnap to choke out whatever's in his trachea. He finds himself coughing for a solid fifteen seconds, he convulses like a cat choking on a hair ball until a chunk of fungus the size of a meatball dislodges itself. He feels gross, but he also feels like he can breath again with the saprophyte in his lungs disappearing bit by bit.

He leans back to look at Sapnap who is simply staring, "so am I still hot or did that just wave a massive red flag in your face?" He wipe the blood from his lips with the back of his hand and for a second Sapnap is stunned (the likeness to a vampire in those actions is blood chilling in the best way possible).

Sapnap stifles a laugh at the words, "George do I even need to justify that question with an answer?"

George gives a hum of amusement before resting against Sapnap again, he's smirking, "good point, I'll always be hot as fuck, even when I look and feel like shit," he can't help the way he arches into the warm touch resting on his spine.

"I think cute would be a better word to describe you, but go on," Sapnap said playfully, George gave an offended gasp, "who texted you?"

George shrugged, "someone that fucked up big time if he wants my attention now," he finds himself flustered when the hand on his back pulls him down and into a hug.

"That means you won't die right?" Sapnap asked quietly, practically whispered into his taller friends ear.

"Obviously, I couldn't just die on you after only two kisses anyways," George said, his tone was cocky.

His confidence simply melted away when Sapnap placed a kiss to his cheek with a sickeningly sweet smile on his face- he really was turning this entire day into a warm embrace.

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csuitebitches · 1 year

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I keep on having dreams about my old friend. The dreams aren’t sexual or anything of the sort, they’re just us hanging out, the latest one we were sort of running away (?) together. I can’t exactly recall the dream. Said friend never texted me and still doesn’t which is why I cut off contact. They only contacted me a few times during one period where I was having a hard time, this stuck with me because no one else checked in on me. However, they were my friend of 5 or so years. I can’t help but miss them though. I’ve never had a relationship like that and sometimes I’m afraid I never will. Lately I’ve been isolating which could be why I’m yearning for an old relationship. What should I do?

I’m sorry you have to go through that, it sounds very draining.

I’m going to give you some tough love. Your friend isn’t the one to blame if you’ve been isolating, that’s something that is mostly in your own control. I understand that you’ve had a hard time in the past, but that doesn’t mean that you make things difficult for your future self.

We all need relationships in our life. Human beings are social animals.

If said friend was someone who you had to cut off, then maintain that discipline for yourself. Don’t get stuck in a loop of cutting them out and then getting back with them in the short run. However, don’t discount the fact that people can change and do change with time. Perhaps now is not the best time to be friends, perhaps in a few years, when you’ve both matured, it will be easier to be friends again - but let that happen organically. But also reflect on where YOU could have gone wrong in that friendship. Ending a friendship is often two ways, although we may see it as one way- both parties, to an extent, have a percentage that they’re responsible for. I’m not telling you to be hard on yourself, I’m telling you to be objective. Be honest with yourself.

Here’s the best thing about ending this relationship- you now have the time and freedom to meet new people and make authentic friendships. Sure, it might feel weird at first, you might feel guarded at first, but life is all about experiences - and sometimes slightly awkward situations result in something that could be the opposite.

Making new friends isn’t easy and we often sacrifice our peace of mind for the comfort of an old relationship, but thats an unhealthy, torturous cycle.

It’s perfectly normal to miss your former friend, who wouldn’t? Even in a bad relationship there are good memories. That’s what makes moving on so difficult.

Remember the best part of your friendship and try to look back at the fondly without getting emotionally worked up about it. Forgive the person if you can, for the sake of your own peace. But don’t forget the lessons you’ve learned from that friendship- the new boundaries you know you will have to set with friends, the things you will not tolerate in any relationship.

Focus on yourself this year. Focus on being the best version you know you deserve, hang out with people you feel bring light to your life. Go to events, do some volunteer work, try to meet new people. It doesn’t matter whether you hit it off with them or not - even conversing with someone new can be an interesting experience. How do you know that you wont have a similar type of friendship - or even one better! - unless you go out there and try? With what right can you make such a harsh judgment? That’s your fear and your own insecurity telling you that you probably don’t deserve something beautiful. That’s not true. There’s billions of people on this planet, its just a matter of time that you will resonate with someone. But you have to make that happen for yourself.

Getting out of a slump is difficult, but even doing small things may do wonders for you. I’m rooting for you xx

#Q/a #friendship

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moonlightreal · 9 months

Text

Some thoughts on So Weird Season 3

It isn’t very good, but I like Annie.

Which mostly comes down to Alexz Johnson being charming and slightly due to the headcanons I had going in.

The first thing we really got from season 3 was the music video of To Dream About You, which is an absolute bop, and for some reason I got it in my head that Annie’s music was magic. That she would be a siren or something able to do things with her voice. The clip from Rewind in there with Annie throwing lightning did nothing to debunk this idea. So I was hopeful about So Weird going! Fi was a girl who kept encountering the supernatural but Annie was supernatural! It would take the show in a new interesting direction!

I’d also somehow read leaks about the original writers’ ideas for season three and one stuck in my head, it went something like “Fi meets an alien, a girl who also lost her father to the ‘evil.’” This idea means there could be more people like Fi, who encounter the supernatural and influence things for good, and who the evil supernatural tries to stop by killing off their support system. So it was easier to accept Annie as another of many young people with supernatural connections. Maybe Rebecca, who was only in one episode but casts a long shadow, was another. Maybe Fi’s little cousins Maggie and Miranda were others. So Fi’s story was now one of many stories and they’d probably all come together in the end.

Then in the first Annie-only episode she gets the talking board and has a hotline to the supernatural. She could get answers, and she had a panther who would appear and help her and was guiding her to some interesting destiny!

So I started season three with great optimism! But then it just… was ok?

I think the thing season 3 really did wrong (other than, you know, ditching Fi’s entire story which they kind of had to do) was drag the show farther from magical reality and into the realm of full fantasy. The town of bees. The carnival where everyone turned into attractions. The Great Incanto. Mister Magnetism. After these episodes Jack and the others should have been changing their whole worldview and that should have been changing what kind of show it was, but they did fantasy stuff and had everyone react in magical reality ways.

Thoughts on the episodes I remember:

Exit 13, where the bus pulls off the highway and the gang gets caught in a time loop repeating the same events over and over. The cause is a carved stone Annie bought from a local trinket seller, that turns out to be half of a Native American artifact. When Annie reunites the two halves, reuniting the ghosts of twins whose memorial stone it is, the gang is set free. The trinket seller who raided a Native American burial ground isn’t so lucky, which is pretty dark for this season. I like this episode, I think it worked and the curse was original enough to stick in my head.

Rewind, stands out because of the song. The songs this season are great and Alexz Johnson has an amazing voice.

Earth 101 aired after a long hiatus to put the Thanksgiving episode on Thanksgiving and it was such a letdown to finally have an episode and have it be dumb.

The multiverse one with the alternate Annie made a big impression because my brain still expected something more, and I was sure we’d see more of Juvenile Delinquent Annie. She had her panther’s spiritual power in a tattoo, what did that mean? Could she summon it into being? Or did her delinquent ways make her real panther desert her so she got the tattoo to make up for it somehow? I was sure Delinquent Annie would be a returning antagonist.

My memory of episodes kind of fades other than those three. There were a couple school episodes, there was a changeling episode that sort of matched the lore! There was some other stuff.

Then there was the ending. Which I feel came much later, after I wandered off from tuning in every week for the new episodes but I did eventually watch it. And was quite disappointed that this was the big secret!

So years ago in Peru, Lil Annie protected a Native man from being bit by a snake, getting bit herself. The shaman of the tribe healed her and then took the form of the panther to protect her all her life out of gratitude for saving his son.

Which is weird, and not the good kind of weird.

Ok, the panther is a human? And an old dude? And how is he being the panther, does he astral project every time Annie is in trouble or did he give up his entire human life to protect Annie? I would certainly be grateful to someone who saved my son’s life, but the “indigenous person becomes protector of cute white girl” is… a thing. Remember there was a lot less awareness of this stuff in 2001, so don’t think too badly of the writers, but it’s still not great.

So let’s focus group this a little.

They could just make the panther a panther; Annie’s just a person who vibes with the panther spirit. Which still gets into the whole “is it cool for a white person to have a spirit animal?” If I knew any Native Americans I’d ask them, but I don’t so all I can say is that the 2023 internet is divided leaning towards no. But people of all colors and cultures are going to feel a mystical connection to certain animal species so… this is a question for professional sociologists, not me and my tumblr!

If the writers were determined to make the panther a person they could give him a less “Wookie life debt” reason to be following Annie. Maybe rewrite the series slightly so Annie talks a lot about returning to Peru to be an activist for the local people, and add a revelation that she is also destined to protect that part of the world from The Evil. Make the panther a boy Annie’s age who also encounters the supernatural and expects to work with Annie when they both grow up or come into their full power or whatever.

Which wouldn't fix the "white girl gets native people's magic" thing, but would make it less yikes. The only way to actually fix it would be to recast Annie, and I like the Annie we've got. I guess there are also panthers in North America so they could cut out the indiginouys people entirely and make Annie a witch with a familiar, but that strays farther from the canon we have than I'm gonna bother to go.

(Jon Cooksey just says “Evil” so I don’t think the writers ever defied the overarching enemy of the show. Presumably they’d have figured out something more specific if the original season three had gone ahead.)

So season three leaves me in a mood similar to how Fate left me. There was so much potential, the bones of something really good. I don’t think it could ever have been good enough to make up for the loss of Fi’s storyline, but it could have been its own thing and a good show. But it was just aimed in the wrong direction and it wasted everything it could have done with Annie’s mysterious past.

#disney so weird #so weird

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